#APOLOGIES FOR THE LENGTH

[polutrope]

Just pure headcanons, what do you think happened during Maglor's reign as a king? I don't know if his reign was short or something but I remember it took some time before Fingon was able to save Maedhros and unite the noldor and there was still some division between the host of nolofinweans and feanorians. I wonder if he considered himself a placeholder until Maedhros returned or was he a reluctant king? Did the host respect him as a king, did his own brothers respect him as a king? I am so intrigued because, aside from Maedhros, I think Maglor deserved some shoutout lmao (No, this isn't a maglor-obsession-spree that I have been on, nu uh). Also, I feel like he would have some cordial relationship with Fingolfin, they could bond as the second sons having to take leadership because the eldest died/was abducted idk.

Oh no, starlitelwing. I hope you know the Pandora's Box you've just opened. King Maglor is one of my all-time favourite things to think about.

First of all: there's actually no canonical information on Maglor's position after the capture of Maedhros (in fact, we don't even know what Maedhros' title/position was after Feanor's death; all we know is that Feanor "claimed now the kingship of all the Noldor" in Tirion. Contested leadership is SO GOOD isn't it? anyway...).

The published Silmarillion glosses right over the question of who's in charge during the time between Feanor's death and Fingolfin's official assumption of the Kingship of the Noldor (which, if you ask me, Fingolfin effectively had been King since the time of Feanor's exile, and he was in any case Regent at the time of Finwe's death... he said he'd follow Feanor but the people following him were calling him Finwe Nolofinwe soooo... aiee, I digress again). The book gallops at such a breakneck speed that you don't really notice the gap in leadership. Or, I didn't.

But then you look at the Grey Annals (where Tolkien Gateway gets most of its First Age dates) and you see that there are 2-3 Tree Years and 5 Sun Years between Maedhros' capture and his rescue. Now, however you imagine time works in Tree Years when there are no Trees, that's still a long time. Maedhros was gone at a minimum 6-7 years, more likely closer to the equivalent of 30 "regular" years. (That's way longer, by the way, than the time between Feanor's death and Maedhros' capture, which was like, a day to a month, at most. Maedhros, if he even was King, was King for way less time than whoever followed him. And he sucked at the job, btw. But I digress. Again.)

So someone had to be in charge for those 6 to 30 years, but whomst? That the leadership would pass after Feanor's death to the eldest son is logical, and that it would then pass to the next eldest is also logical. I see no reason to refute that, but note: it would not be uncanonical to have someone other than Maedhros or Maglor in charge at this time. You can make King Celegorm a thing and still be canon-compliant!

This passage in the published Silm is basically the extent of the activities of the sons of Feanor during Maedhros' absence:

Then the brothers of Maedhros drew back, and fortified a great camp in Hithlum; but Morgoth held Maedhros as hostage, and sent word that he would not release him unless the Noldor would forsake their war, returning into the West, or else departing far from Beleriand into the South of the world. But the sons of Feanor knew that Morgoth would betray them, and would not release Maedhros, whatsoever they might do; and they were constrained also by their oath, and might not for any cause forsake the war against their Enemy.

The sense here is that all six sons acted as a unit. But in the 1937 Quenta Silmarillion, the text on which this passage is drawn:

Morgoth held [Maedhros] as hostage and sent word to Maglor that he would only release his brother if …

To Maglor! Excellent evidence that Tolkien was also making the logical conclusion that Maglor, the eldest, was in charge. (My best theory for why Christopher Tolkien took that out is Too Many Names, but it's an odd decision.)

All that was to say: We don't know, canonically, that Maglor was in charge at Mithrim. But it makes a lot of sense, and it's my headcanon that he was.

Now. More interesting headcanons.

I don't think Maglor was called King until it was politically necessary.

I see him as someone who is comfortable in command (one meaning of Cano is "commander", after all) but who likes to command collaboratively. Double-edged sword: he values the input of others (admirable quality) and he does not like being fully responsible for the outcomes of a decision (less admirable).

Unlike much fanon I've come across, I don't think Maglor was a particularly reluctant or incompetent leader or that he hated it. He was miserable, yes, because his father just died and his brother was just captured, and he wasn't thrilled to become a leader on top of that, but he keeps it together.

So how do I imagine it all went down?

The problem with Maglor being in command is that his "collaborative" style of leadership is not appropriate for a time of crisis or for his family. While the Silm often talks about "the sons of a Feanor" as a unit, I do not think they were of the same mind on everything. At all. They need a firm hand, and Maglor does not have that.

But who does have a firm hand? Who would be a more martial ruler, someone who could get people in order during a crisis? Celegorm. And he knows it.

So why did the Feanorians "get nothing done" during those 6-30 years (sidenote: I don't actually think they got nothing done, but it does seem they didn't get anything BIG done)? Well, for one, they were fighting amongst themselves.

Maglor could not get his brothers to agree on anything, and yet he did not know any other way of commanding, and over time he becomes more and more miserable as a leader.

Celegorm, meanwhile, is chomping at the bit to "relieve him" of the burden.

Around them, everyone else is picking sides.

Curufin is an interesting case. I headcanon he actually was fully behind Maglor at the beginning, because he respects the orderliness of succession. But as Maglor proves himself unsuitable for the role, he aligns with Celegorm.

Outside the family, I headcanon that the Mithrim Elves were actually quite taken with Maglor, the poet-king. Their alliance hinges on him. But the Noldor, especially the army, would rather follow Celegorm.

As everyone knows, a rival for leadership with the army's support is Bad News. And yet Maglor manages to hold on. He should definitely get credit for that.

But why hold on? If he is hating this ruler job, why not just let Celegorm have it? Couple reasons:

It's Celegorm. He may be able to perform well, but Maglor knows he's the most like Feanor in temperament and, well, Feanor's kingship didn't end well.

If Maglor gives up that crown, he will have admitted to himself that Maedhros is not coming back. This is the same reason he doesn't give it over to Fingolfin when Uncle Nolvo shows up. He is hanging onto that thing for dear life because, to him, it belongs to Maedhros and only Maedhros. He is the crown's custodian, never its rightful owner (this bleeds into my headcanon that Maglor does not "in his heart" agree with Maedhros' decision to cede the kingship — he'll never be as vocal about it as the others, though).

Now we come to another piece. What did Maglor call himself? Like I said up top, I don't think he initially called himself King. He was "head of his House", or maybe, "Lord of Hithlum," or maybe King Regent, but never King. If one of the Mithrim got mixed up and called him that, he would always correct them.

That changes when Fingolfin shows up. Now there's another claimant to the title of King. Possibly a more legitimate one than even Maedhros (as Maedhros later says himself).

By that time, Maglor has been keeping that crown out of Celegorm's hands for years; he is not giving it up now. And Fingolfin is less likely to challenge his leadership if he offers no room for ambiguity. If he dons the mantle of kingship and pretends Maedhros is dead.

So that is what he does... Does Fingolfin accept it? Well: "Then there was peril of strife between the hosts."

For three years, on opposite sides of the Lake, they're at an impasse. Fingon doesn't go looking for Maedhros because he thinks Maedhros is dead (and other reasons: the mission is insane and desperate not the least, and contrary to popular opinion Fingon is not a rash idiot).

How does Fingon eventually learn the truth? You'll have to wait and read what @melestasflight and I are cooking up for Silm Epistolary Week ;)

ETA: Despite this, I do think you're right that Maglor and Fingolfin could have bonded over their similar experiences! There's the personal and there's the political, and I love the idea of the tension between these straining what could be an emotionally supportive familial friendship between Maglor and Fingolfin.

[agentelevatormusic]

Although Vera considered herself a careful planner, she’d never booked a night walk with a dog. The harsh weather was no problem for her. Ice, wind, and freezing temperatures were part of a veteran Delta-14’s genetic makeup. Even the darkness played into her stealth more than it played into her fear. But she couldn’t bear the thought of leaving without little Jawa, whose tiny paws would surely freeze in the cold. He was so put out by her cancellation, too. Quietly circling at her heels with great big eyes. Vera had no choice but to play with him indoors and save the forest for a more temperate evening. No other option than to lie flat on the floor and smother Jawa with love and little dog treats and hidden pieces of jerky from her pocket. 

By the time she realized she’d been had, it was too late to go on a real walk anyway. With or without a smug little dog. One more kiss on his perfect little nose and Vera walked off in a huff. 

So, a light dusting of snow was catching at the window screen behind Vera. She didn’t mind the occasional snowflake. It was well worth it for the air circulation. This was one of those secret places in the residential building that Vera found she could actually breathe if she got the atmosphere right. She’d already flicked out the hall lights and draped a silk scarf, reddish-orange patterned with tiny black deer, onto the floor lamp by the communal couch. Usually, it held back her hair. But the soft ambience it produced over that bright bulb was much more pleasing to Vera. She preferred her hair wild and loose, anyway. 

She was curled up on that couch with her legs tucked beneath her. Thick, patterned socks peeking out. Pages from the end of Italo Calvino’s The Baron in the Trees, a fresh copy of the first volume of Patricia Highsmith’s The Talented Mr. Ripley waiting on the coffee table with her empty mug of cocoa. Vera closed the former, still not quite finished, as soon as she saw Cowboy Greeting. “Long time no see,” Vera said with a wry smile. She offered the other side of the couch. Even if he didn’t stay, Vera figured it would be impolite not to offer. "First time finding The One Specific Window or do I just keep missing you?

@cowboygreeting

[faciensmel]

Where: By the edge of main street at Ren Faire Who: Rini + Andy

Andy had nipped home quickly to pick up few more crates of mead she'd been selling, lucky for her at a renaissance faire mead was extremely popular, unlucky for her she had to drag a new batch as quickly as possible and didn't think it through. She had to think quick on her feet while at home and picked up a wheel barrel from the garden filling it with the bottles of mead before starting her rather long journey from the edge of town to main street. By the time she reached the edge of it Andy was panting, the cute wings attached to her back now just seemed like an inconvenience, she was glad she was only wearing a dress not a full on costume.

Stopping at the edge of faire she exhaled a deep sight, trying to catch her breath and took one of the bottles opening it on the edge of the wheel barrel. Pandora spotted someone looking at her, she looked back at Rini giving her an awkward smile, "It's a bit humid here" was all she could think to say. Andy looked around, it wasn't far to go now but she needed a breather, there was no way she'll re-start her journey straight away, not to mention her hands were starting to hurt from the weight of the bottles. Resolving to stay here for a bit she sat down on a curb of the road and extended the bottle to Rini, "Wanna try some mead?" she asked with a shrug.

@backmaskcd

[jellibabie]

OHHGGHH MY HEART!!! THIS IS THE SWEETEST!!! this tag was lovely to wake up to…

fav color: white, it goes with everything! if you pressed me for a “real” color, i’d have to say orange. a yellowy orange. or an orangey yellow…

currently reading: i me mine… for the 7th time… i tend to latch on to a bit of media and rewatch/reread/relisten to it endlessly, not until i get bored, but until i find something new.

last song: window window (george harrison); its such a cute song… a little confession: i make it my mission to spend as much of my day listening to music as possible, so i have a playlist for when im sleeping. waking up to george’s slower songs or his demos are always nice

last film: monty python and the holy grail, truly a classic!!! ive been rewatching it for years, ever since my parents showed it to me when i was around 10? i credit my taste in movies to them, they’ve yet to let me down with their recommendations

last series: smash, the one about the marilyn monroe musical; i watched it last year with my mom, and i actually enjoyed it a lot (except for ellis, i wanted to blow up my tv whenever he was on screen, if you watch smash you’ll see why); i dont usually watch tv shows, i hate when the episodes get repetitive or boring. i cant last more than 2 seasons

sweet/salty/savory: savory… thinking about gumbo and rice…and fried okra…

tea or coffee: i like the taste of coffee, but i prefer drinking tea. i avoid caffeine (with the exception of coke zero in the situation my local grocery store runs out of the no caffeine version) since i dont want to get hooked on it… i get my energy from ice cubes

working on: im ashamed to admit…nothing :,-) i only work in short bursts of energy, you mightve noticed that much of my art is shitposts or looks hastily done…its because if i dont complete it in a day, it’ll never be done!!!

tags: @softheartedmilo @romeowtoo @koushizzy @alanangels @dustybearrrr @virrutalangelsome @ramgirlpaul @kyurochurro @shinywitchdaze <- some great artists, people, and friends!! (no pressure to respond of course)

(side note to anyone who likes my blog, you can totally reach out! i encourage it! im a very social creature)

Nine People I Wish I Knew Better

i've never gotten tagged in these before, it's kinda exciting :D -> and so a very special thanks to: @rose-margaritas n @robyngoesrogue

Favorite Colour: green!!! or grey, or sage

Currently Reading: Like We're Gonna Die Young (Again) by RoseGanymede95 [go read it, it's amazing >:3c]

Last Song: E.T. by Katie Perry

Last Film: i don't really watch movies that often, so i couldn't say ^óWo^ |u u |__

Last Series: last one i watched all the way through was Étoile, and i'm currently debating watching Red, White, and Royal Blue :3

Sweet//Salty//Savory: i prefer more savory things, but my drinks are sweet enough to give ya cavities hehe

Tea or Coffee?: my sociology teacher told me that if i replaced all the coffee i drank with hard drugs i'd have a serious addiction problem

Working On: ooh... so much actually.. so so much. i've got a post-canon Étoile fic i've gotten like- halfway through [featuring jayenne AND gabias] a pokemon Étoile au [bc i love pokemon] a stobotnik fic i'm struggling with, two wbk fics, a link click fic i'm stuck on, QUITE a few polychampions fics, annnd a few more in the beginning stages of fleshing ;3

Tagging [i hope it's not a bother]: @sun-shine-lolli-pops @noteofjoy @technically-human @justcallmeemily @littlepocketuniverse @zephie-zee @candy-coated-eyes @notthemonthbutmarch @starguardianniom

[buckypascal]

Steve made a mistake. No, he didn't.

[croquettish]

A Hans Capon Character Analysis

Part 1: Hans' Disillusionment with the Nobility

I went into this wanting to write one thing and then instead ended up writing something different entirely which, after watching it get stupidly long, I decided to split in two. So you can consider this an analysis triptych (they other two are already drafted and ready to go). It's still stupidly long, so I apologize for that.

We know that Hans learned what the platonic ideal of a noble looked like and from that point on did his very best to live up to that ideal. He saw what he was supposed to be even while realizing that he could never live up to that ideal. Hans spends all his time trying to reach for perfection only to find his best only ever being at best shy of where he wants to be. More often, his best is far removed from where he thinks he's meant to be / supposed to be.

This is a theme that comes up several times throughout the game. First, when they're at the inn in Troskowitz where Hans pulls the "excuse" about why he can't do work:

I say "excuse" in quotes because the more time you spend talking to Hans the more it becomes obvious that he actually believes what he's saying. All that stuff about the three states of man is 100% something that he was either taught directly or overheard. It's entirely possible that he once tried to help out the castle staff and was told he wasn't allowed to do that because it went against the will of God. Like I fucking love AUs where Hans and Henry met as kids, but there's a non-zero chance that any attempt to do so, if not simply preempted, would have been shut down by Hanush and the others around him. This is what it means to be a noble, Hans. You're not allowed to do any of these fun things. You have a job to do. You're going to rule Rattay someday and that comes with certain responsibilities.

Here are some choice excerpts from that conversation:

I want to draw special attention here to the role that Hans places himself in, the role of the Bellator, a protector of others. This is what he's allowed to do. Remember that for later.

The other thing I want to draw attention to is this bit:

This isn't just about losing face. This is about the fact that he grew up hearing how wrong it would be for him to do peasant work. This is about the fact that he was told that if he did this, he'd be going against God, and everyone would think less of him for not acting as he's supposed to / required to. Not just in the eyes of God, but in the eyes of society.

Remember how I said that Hans has an idealized notion of nobility? That applies here as well. As the codex entry on the Three States of Man tells us, this is the ideal medieval society, one that is meant to be conducive to peace. That lack of social mobility and freedom that Hans has been chained by his whole life has a purpose: to ensure harmony.

But the script he's so used to, that he clings to so desperately, fails him. Harmony could not be further from his reality. Case in point, at the beginning he tells Henry that he can protect him with his name and therefore his own noble status:

But then, that doesn't turn out to be true. He does everything in his power to declare his noble status, to invoke his name, even places his arm behind his back and attempts to bow in order to properly present himself as nobility to the guards at the Trosky Castle gates—all for naught. No one cares. Hans tries so fucking hard to stick to the script he's been taught his whole life, and no one gives a shit. Svatya makes fun of him, refuses to apologize, and then physically assaults him. Instead of seeing Svatya getting clapped in the pillory, he is.

During the divorce era, he once again tries to grasp for any amount of familiarity from his old life by turning to hunting. It's a noble sport and something he's good at. Camping and going out to hunt, being out in nature over an extended period of time, these are all things he's done before. Things he can comfortably fall back on. If he forgets about the fact that he's alone—no Henry, no horse, no hunting dogs—he can almost pretend he's back in his old life.

Even his attempt at romancing Enneleyn at the wedding fits into this desperate attempt to cleave to his understanding of his noble title. (This is a point that also crops up in this fantastic analysis of Hans' character by @codeword-art, that Hans knows what people think nobles should be like, this including a love for women. This post and the one that preceded it are analyzed in greater depth in part two of this analysis.)

And then even that is torn from him when he's told he'll hang for poaching. Nobility was the one thing that was supposed to act as a get-out-of-jail-free card for him, his guaranteed fallback. Nobility was meant to remove the noose from around his neck... and then failed to do so. What's the point of being a noble if no one believes that you are one? What's the point of being a noble if it only comes with a lack of social skills, a lack of relationships, and a lack of freedom? What's the point of sticking to a script if everyone refuses to play their parts? Growing up, nobility always acted as a panopticon for him, surrounded by people's judgments of him. His character, his aptitude, was always everybody's business. But that pain, that judgment, always came with benefits before.

This illustrates for Hans, quite clearly, how quickly those benefits can be stripped for him and made meaningless. Nobility can't save him. Nobility has only ever taken from him, and then, when he needed it most, it wasn't there for him as a parachute.

At the end of Next to Godliness we can talk to Hans about what he's going to do with Arse-n-balls. And if Henry advises Hans to punish him, first Hans tries to defend him.

At which point Henry invokes his noble status and suggests that letting this transgression go unpunished would lead to people questioning him in his position:

At which point Hans folds quite quickly:

How much do you reckon Hans' worldview was shaken in hindsight, upon realizing the reality of the punishments he might have subjected people to. A day in the stocks or pillory? Being hanged for poaching? Suddenly he's seeing these things from the perspective of a peasant and what that might feel like.

Nobles are meant to protect people and dole out punishments only when necessary. But this whole system is so easily upended the second corruption gets involved.

He's next confronted with this issue in a big way if you decide to sell out Olda and go to Semine with Hashek. Despite von Bergow's wishes, Hashek wants to burn the place down to the ground along with all the people in it. Everyone is to die. This isn't what von Bergow wanted (and if you do agree to Hashek's plan, he is appropriately outraged after) and while Hans questions if the two of you did the right thing if you decide to go against Hashek's wishes, he's quite distressed if you don't go against his wishes and kill everyone. It puts him into a funk for quite a while after and leaves him viewing himself as inherently tainted by the experience.

Horrified as he is that Olda, as a nobleman, would side with Zizka and co (and expresses this right after the possible torturing if the truth is discovered), he's just as horrified that Hashek, a nobleman, would order the slaughter of innocents. He objects on several occasions but mostly goes along with what Henry says, only questioning what the right decision was after.

Nobles are supposed to be better than this. If he was expected to do better, to be better, to live up to all these unachievable ideals, why does no one else give a shit?

The next time this crops up in a big way is after the Maleshov rescue when Hans become quite upset at the sight of a destroyed village. A conversation with Brabant follows that showcase a number of Hans' feelings on the matter:

This is unjust, he says. Because in his eyes, the nobility should be above such dirty, underhanded tricks to get what they want. Brabant insists that the village will be resettled before long ("people die, it's what they do" etc etc) and that this is just how war is.

Hans, however, is unsatisfied:

Here too we see his idea of the Bellator and what that means for him as a noble. In Hans' eyes, their job is to protect the common people. To do everything in his power to make sure that these atrocities don't happen.

If Henry then agrees with him, Hans says something else telling (regardless of what happens with Semine):

These things happen because of his failure. He's a Bellator, a noble who should be capable of protecting people. Instead they failed at Nebakov and he was captured. The death of these people, to Hans, is on his own head.

We know that our boy Luke lost rizz points with pretty much everyone because he decided to burn down the village near Maleshov during the siege, but this too is a moment that's worth remarking on. In the moment, Hans defers to Henry and insists that well, they're in a war, aren't they? But after von Bergow's interrogation, he has quite a few things to say to Henry:

On the flipside, if Henry goes against Dry Devil, Hans praises his actions while simultaneously acknowledging that he wouldn't have been strong enough to do the same:

It's interesting that at this point in the story he trusts Henry (not a noble) with ethical judgments far more than either himself or other noblemen. Deferring to Henry isn't entirely new for him, but that's another post entirely. What matters here is that we're witnessing the wool being pulled from Hans' eyes in real time here: the inherent superiority of nobles is rapidly evaporating.

In addition to that, the fact that he's constantly put into the position of damsel in distress means that he's frequently saved or protected by Henry. He's not the Bellator of his own life. Henry is. Henry is more noble in Hans' eyes than any noble he's ever met. This even comes up at one point early in the game, following their first romance option:

I'm sure I don't need to point out how this means that Henry effectively dismantles Hans' sense of self only to build it up again. All his self-esteem was rooted in the fact that he's a capable Bellator, a defender of the people and worthy of his position as a noble. Then Henry comes in, does it all better despite his peasant upbringing, and then shows Hans that he has value in spite of what he perceived all his faults to be.

Even before the siege on Maleshov, Hans is slowly starting to build up an increasingly robust view of himself as a Laborator. I talked about this in more detail here, where we see Hans volunteer himself for manual labor that we see no one else in the game do other than Henry. In fact, it's something that is often (and jokingly at that) offloaded onto Henry. But here, Hans presents the far more noble position (in this case, dealing with the hunted game) to Henry while taking the manual labor task for himself.

With what noblesse oblige is Hans left with then? Stripped of all the artifice, what remains?

Just his word. The word of a nobleman.

Hans and Henry both get into an argument with Hanush at the end of KCD1 when he gives Toth his word that his safety will be ensured if he lets Radzig and Lady Stephanie go. Henry is (understandably) upset that Hanush will just let Toth go, but Hanush insists that his word as a nobleman is his bond. At which point Hans steps in to argue that they may as well not honor that bond:

Henry also argues, but Hanush ultimately comes back with this:

It's a point that sticks with Hans, and we see it invoked fairly early on in the game:

It's also challenged right toward the beginning as well. Henry responds to what Hans says with something that makes no sense, invoking the idea of one's word but here in the name of him being a blacksmith:

@antivanwine14 recently made a spectacular post about precisely this. There's no such thing as the word of a blacksmith. It doesn't carry the same weight whatsoever. But Hans decides to take it that way regardless:

No pretension, no posturing about the importance of a noble's words over those of a peasant. Either Henry has been elevated in Hans' mind (no doubt) or nobility is losing the special, unique lustre that it might have once held for him (almost certainly true as well).

We fast-forward a bit. His next encounter with the word of a nobleman is at Raborsch, where his word is given... for him, when he's engaged against his will. If you ask me, this changes things. In a big way. Hans has very little, but the one thing that he thought he had was his word to give. Every thing he swears by from that point forward serves as a reclamation.

And the first thing he does with that reclamation is swear that he'll be there for Henry just as Henry was there for him:

(and then he did, etc etc)

I do find it curious here that he doesn't invoke the word of a nobleman here in this promise to Henry. Instead, he swears by God, their mutual belief system. Giving Henry his word isn't enough anymore. As if Henry has outranked it in his eyes. I wonder if he thought back to the moment when Henry responded to Hans' word as a noble with the word of a blacksmith here. Unlike social stratification, this is a place where they are on equal footing.

The next time that Hans does give his word is at Maleshov during the siege: von Bergow's safety in exchange for both Rosa's safety and von Bergow's agreement to switch sides.

This makes sense. He's speaking to another nobleman here, someone who would understand what it means if the word of a noble is given.

And it is, of course, then immediately put in danger by Sam:

If Sam kills von Bergow here, he takes the last remaining vestiges of any sort of sense of self or identity from Hans. Nobility is losing its lustre, he's not a worthy Bellator and instead always has to have Henry saving his ass, and this is all that remains. What is a noble without his word? As Hanush told him very clearly at the end of the first game, his word is his honor. And without honor, he's nothing.

What's left if the artifice is stripped away? If all he has left to him is his word, if that too is rendered meaningless, Hans, in his mind, will be left as nothing.

It should also be noted here that Sam is not held back by the rules of this society that Hans is so solidly part of. Much like queerness, he exists well outside of it, as both Jews and sodomites were considered heretics. Sam has that freedom that Hans so badly longs for, but it comes at a considerable cost, that of oppression. It's risky to exist at the fringes of society.

As @hallowedlore perfectly put it (in private conversation), when Sam attacks von Bergow, a statement throwing into question why he should care about the rules of their fancy nobility, the only thing that stop him is the threat of violence from Zizka. Death, not social decorum.

Hans is clinging on to this bit of identity with all his might here as though it's a life-raft. And Godwin immediately backs him up, reminding him that what he did there mattered.

But it doesn't get him very far. And certainly not with Sam, who couldn't care less about pleasing a Christian god. It strikes me as curious (and topical) here that he comes away from the big roundtable discussion with von Bergow and the other nobles feeling like insignificant shit while their talk at the Devil's Den did not leave him feeling that way.

Being a nobleman was meaningless here too. His nobility didn't matter one bit, all that mattered was being the strongest personality in the room. And Hans is anything but that. That boy is made of insecurities, his outward facing personality all a mask behind which is only hot air.

Only his jealousy regarding Sam's inbuilt relationship with Henry makes him turn back to old patterns:

See, Henry? He's different from us. But the argument doesn't work on Henry and barely even works on himself.

Increasingly, Hans realizes that the nobility isn't where he feels like he belongs the most. This worldview of his is fucked and all wrong. Who went and decided that he should be a Bellator while someone like Henry isn't?

Because he does associate Henry with nobility in a big way. When Henry goes to ask Hans what he should do about Erik's offer of a duel, Hans thinks it over and then comes back with this:

These are different times. Are they? Or is it just Hans' heart that has changed here? Because right after this, he asks Henry to stay. To forgo honor and nobility and not put himself in unnecessary danger.

The aftermath of the silver heist likewise serves as a painful reminder of what is waiting for him on the other side of all this: a marriage that he doesn't want to a woman he doesn't know. What benefits remain of nobility? All he'd see by this point is obligations. No one listens to him, no one cares what he has to say except for Henry. All the bluster is ultimately meaningless. He doesn't belong with the other nobles, and all his best attempts at fitting into the mold fail him. All his life he's spent his time trying to be like those around him, trying to be someone he isn't, and it's never good enough.

The people he feels most comfortable around, Henry and Godwin, are both people with ties to nobility while wanting as little to do with titles and related obligations as possible. They both have social mobility to a certain extent. The opposite of nobility, to Hans, is freedom.

Shorty after the attack by the Praguers, Hans goes to wait for Henry in front of his room. When Henry asks him how he's doing, because he's clearly got experience leading troops, Hans laughs it off:

If there was any doubt left that he views himself as an incapable Bellator, this is excellent proof, backed up even more later on following the suicide mission:

This is what being a noble has gotten him. People's judgments and expectations, obligation to marry and carry on a family line, and the ability to play God and decide who gets to live and who dies. All he wanted was to protect people. Instead he gets to send them to their deaths.

This will come up again in part two, but it bears mentioning here as well. After getting laid, Hans vents to Godwin about how much he hates that no one ever treats him like an adult. He's a noble and an adult, and none of it ever seems to matter:

Who's "they"? Because the rest of what he says mentions that he thought the Trosky delivery would make "them" take him seriously. This isn't just about Hanush. This is about all nobles. That he'd finally fit in.

But he doesn't, and he won't.

When Hanush arrives at Suchdol, he highlights that everyone there is a hero for their deeds there, but it doesn't matter. Hans once more has his noble obligations shoved down his throat, which effectively feels like the last straw in this disillusionment. Nobility has granted him nothing but pain and any child of his would suffer the same fate. There's even some easily missed idle dialogue you can walk in on where they're arguing about precisely that. It doesn't matter what he does, how heroic he is, how many good deeds he performs, at the end of the day none of it ever mattered (read left to right):

It always strikes me in that conversation how unbelievably bitchy Hans sounds here. The "I'm glad you noticed" could not be cuntier. He is not happy. And even then, Hanush barely offers him any guarantees.

Effectively, this leaves Hans open to questioning the harmony of society as it was taught to him and, in questioning it, realizing that that harmony never existed to begin with. He spends the whole game realizing that the social order he's been subjected to and thought he fit into perfectly is not only illogical but also something he has despised his whole life. This is discovered not only because he was shown an alternative in his own shift into more of a Laborator beside Henry (who to him embodies the qualities of a Bellator far better than he), but also in his own queerness.

It doesn't escape me that there's something to be said about Suchdol here. During the siege, Henry and Hans effectively live outside of the bounds of nobility or social stratification. Everyone is equal in the face of Hunger and Despair. And it's only in this space, this place outside of what is and isn't deemed acceptable by society, that Hans finds it in himself to kiss Henry. To breach every code of conduct he's ever known. Because they're already in the space outside of social acceptability. Hell, the entire Devil's Band is situated in precisely this space just by going against Sigismund. You couldn't ask for a more perfect environment for Hans to step outside of the bounds that have held him since birth.

This is even shown even more starkly with this anon's point in mind about how it goes if you don't romance Hans:

This is unjust. Henry is only in danger because he's not a noble. There's something to be said about agency here, but that discussion has to wait for part three of this analysis triptych. Nothing about this social stratification serves him any longer, all the more so when he romances Henry. It's also why he seems so uncertain about the two of them when Henry returns, and they are meant to return to reality and the expected social order.

This social order that was meant to bring with it harmony for all is the same social order that would demand that he marry and beget an heir. Why should he try to fit himself into this cookie cutter mold if he never fit to begin with? As we see with Barnaby especially, being discovered as queer spells an existence at the fringes of society if not outside of it entirely. Queerness is inherently and by definition at odds with social order, thus returning us to the nobility vs. freedom dialectic. And regardless of which of the two Hans ultimately chooses, obligation or what his heart wants, that disillusionment can never be undone.

Part 2, Part 3

[artharakka]

1. Addax nasomaculatus (addax) | 2. Litocranius walleri (gerenuk) | 3. Tragelaphus eurycerus (bongo) | 4. Oryx gazella (gemsbok) | 5. Bos taurus (Aubrac cattle) | 6. Ovis canadensis (bighorn sheep) | 7. Sivatherium | 8. Pakicetus | 9. Diceros bicornis (black rhinoceros)

[k-sci-janitor]

A day late for Newt’s birthday but who’s counting!

[lululawrence]

You Should Be Here With Me

A 2024 Advent Fic by lululawrence

Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | 34k | 26 Chapters

The festive period is a traditionally hectic one in the world of Premier League football, and this year is no different. A lot is riding on how Manchester United is able to come through the fixtures in the coming weeks.

Louis and his teammates know all too well the pressure that is on their shoulders. They need to prove, not just to fans of the club but the entire league, that they still have what it takes to be a team worthy of fighting for the top of the table.

Throw in the fact that Louis is all too aware that he's not getting any younger in a profession that demands your peak physical fitness year round and the incredibly fit Harry Styles, who is part of the club's social media team, and this year's festive period might just be the most important one yet.

🎄1 🎄 2 🎄 3 🎄 4 🎄 5 🎄 6 🎄 7 🎄 8 🎄 9 🎄 10 🎄 11 🎄 12 🎄 13 🎄 14 🎄 15 🎄 16 🎄 17 🎄 18 🎄 19 🎄 20 🎄 21 🎄 22 🎄 23 🎄 24 🎄 25 🎄 26 🎄

NOW COMPLETE!

[everyandanything]

An opportunity to talk about one of my favorite things? a win!!

All of these fics and writers have my heart, and I'm sure there's a million more I'm forgetting. This fandom has some of the most crazy talented writers, so I'm truly just scratching the surface.

(Must preface this by saying that I'm a Darry girl at heart so most of these will center around him.)

WIPS:

the grief that does not speak by sodapopper (@sodapopper)

When Darry closes his eyes, he still sees the glistening wet on Sodas cheeks, the way his voice went quiet, the tears caught in his eyelashes. This beautiful little brother who was kinder than Darry could ever hope to be, and the sickening realization: I hurt him on purpose. - Five times Darry makes Soda cry, and one time Soda makes Darry cry. ~~ Could wax poetic about my love for Sare's prose forever. Beautiful writing, beautiful characterization, and much like Soda, you will be crying by the end.

A Crowded Table (and literally every single thing written by) romeoandjulietyouwish (@romeoandjulietyouwish)

Darry only has one little brother, Ponyboy Curtis. In order to have the best chance of passing the final custody hearing, he agrees to temporarily foster a sixteen year old named Sodapop. ~~ Ellie's mind is filled with so many incredible ideas I don't know how she holds them all. Everything she writes is beautiful and has me on the edge of my seat.

left at the graveyard (i'm driving past ghosts) by amethystwriter (@amethyst-writer)

Darry was going to be sick. The grief kept climbing up his throat, curling deep inside his gut- salt in the wound. It had been half a year, and he still hadn’t cried. He couldn’t, anyway. He didn’t have the time. or,,, Darry has not thought about himself in ages. People are starting to notice. ~~ This fic makes my heart ache in the best possible way. I've reread it at least a half dozen times. So painfully good.

How the Body Falls Apart by Whovian101

After the death of Johnny and Dally, Darry is breaking down in both mind and body. He begins working harder than ever and all the stress takes a physical toll. ~~ Darry, has in fact, never had a worse time than he does in this fic. Everyone's worried about it, except, well, Darry. 11/10 angst

didn't know who i was supposed to be by trekkiehood (@trekkiehood)

“You know you can talk to me if you need to, right?” “Ain’t nothin’ to talk about.” Darry shrugged. “I’m fine. Just a bad night, that’s all.” It was amazing to him that the anger he felt when thinking about his mother softened at Paul’s accusations. He was allowed to be angry at his home situation. But no Soc, not even Paul, had that right. --- Darry is fifteen and for the first time, he doesn't know which side of the tracks he wants to be on. It doesn't help that his mom has lost it. It really doesn't help that Paul saw it all go down. ~~ So so good. A great exploration of Darry with his parents as well as his relationship with Paul. I'm constantly checking for updates.

Against the Grain by attabitchfinch

Any decent roofer knows you're supposed to cut with the grain. Cutting against the grain will split the wood unevenly and cause tearout, which is when the wood fibers are lifted and ripped haphazardly instead of cleanly cut. Nobody understands this better than Darrel Curtis. ~~ Ughhh the writing in this fic is so good. Darry's life is so bittersweet here and I love the direction the author's going with it.

Finished:

overdue for a revival (spent so long just gettin' by) by Nearly (@ponykidcurtis)

The latch on the mailbox squeaks, always has, and the hinge is rusty, but it opens just the same. Pony grabs the stack of papers inside and leafs through. Bills, junk, more bills, more junk. And underneath, in an envelope so pristinely white it nearly glows; Mr. Curtis 731 North St. Louis Ave Tulsa, Oklahoma 74106 Ponyboy damn near chokes on his own heart. Mr. Curtis has never been anyone but his father, and sometimes Darry when the state comes knockin’. But there's no mistaking who it's for; the crisp seal, a bright red circle next the return address, is a dead giveaway. The University of Oklahoma. or; Ponyboy has his first panic attack. ~~ Beck's writing is the stuff dreams are made and understands Ponyboy in a way that's not even fair. Every single word of this is beautifully done and so emotionally grounded. I could read this forever and it still wouldn't be enough. 100/10

and if we hit on troubled water by bluesweatshirt

Five times someone saw how much Darry cares about Ponyboy, and one time Pony finally saw it too. ~~ One of the first things I ever read in the fandom and I've gone back to it so many times. I love this exploration of Darry and Pony, especially from the gang's pov.

Is Your Love Strong Enough? plus the two sequels by shakes

Darry's strength is tested once more as life throws another tragedy to the gang. ~~ I could write an entire essay on this series alone. It's so heartbreaking. It's so good. It's truly the standard.

The Outsiders by crow2222 (@crow2222)

Darry finds Ponyboy's theme, and starts to read it. ~~ Another great exploration of Darry and Pony's relationship. Darry finding Pony's theme is soul crushing, and the emotional journey he takes through this is so raw and real.

ain't no one to bail me out by dashandlilly (@qprpbj)

“I’ve just been thinkin’, since tomorrow’s Johnny’s birthday, first o’ March,” Ponyboy says from his seat. “And I know you ain’t baked since…” his youngest brother trails off, but eventually finds it in himself to continue, “but I was thinkin’ maybe you could bake a chocolate cake for him tonight so he could swing by tomorrow and we could all celebrate, ‘cause you always made the best ones? His folks won’t give a damn it’s his birthday, y’know.” Darry freezes with a plate in his hand, and his blood seems to run cold. — or, it’s two months after their parents' death and for the first time since it happened, darry's asked to bake the very same thing his parents died over: some chocolate cake ~~ Reagh's writing is so insanely good. I read this right after I got into the fandom and I've gone back to it so so many times. The concept ?? The emotional turmoil ??? They dynamic between the brothers ???? Absolutely everything to me.

In The Eye Of The Storm by FabuMazX

What if, in the time Ponyboy and Johnny were gone, the State called Darrel's guardianship into question, resulting in Soda getting taken away? - “No, no, no, Ms. Miller,” Darry splutters, gripping the doorframe for dear life, “Y-You can’t, you can’t take him-” “Until this situation has been resolved,” She ploughs over his pleading, “Sodapop will be placed in a boys’ home; It’s not too far, you can still see-” “Please, you can’t do this-” “This is for his own good, Darrel.”  ~~ Hey!! This Crushed Me!! Left me devastated!! My heart shattered on the floor!!! I fear I may never recover!!! 1000/10

In honor of A03 being down, can everyone give me their most heart wrenching, soul crushing, angsty, hurt comfortish Outsiders fic recommendations? I have been rereading old ones but I’d like to read something new, so can everyone just give me their best outsiders fan fic recommendations? Thanks!

[oppysbabydoll]

hiiii!! Saw you do request and i was wondering if you could do mtmte drift x ratchet x reader? (Poly relationship your honor) iam so hungry for dratchet x reader content and theres only so lil crumbs in here, it made me sad 😭

(Depends on you if you wanna headcanons or fic, as long its dratchet x reader pls,, its okay if you don't wanna tho)

of course! i should’ve mentioned this on my introduction but im totally comfortable with polyam requests, as a polyamorous person myself! plus, dratchet is adorable <3 you have good taste anon

without further ado, have some dratchet

dratchet x human reader (sfw)

you’re the first human on the ship, so it’s natural for transformers to take interest in you. everyone was curious about the human. yet after the initial excitement faded away, bots like ratchet and drift still were curious about you

as the only organic, the medic was curious and worried to see how your body worked. what would happen if you got injured? what would he do then? and worst of all… what does that say about him, as a medic? if he can’t heal the crew then what good is he as a medic? so he does checkups repeatedly to better understand how your body function. while his initial reasons are based on his own insecurities… a genuine bond does form

you talk about your hobbies, your interests, whatever makes you happy as ratchet does his checkups because speaking from personal experience… doctor visits are not easy. while ratchet is initially annoyed by your rambles, your passion inspires him. and on cycles where he isn’t scheduled to check up on you… he finds himself missing your presence (he’d rather die than admit it though lol)

for drift… his reasons for becoming close to you r for redemption. as a former deception, he’s done some terrible things against those he deemed as inferior: humans being one of them. by befriending you… he can’t take away his past, but he can create a better future with you. and much like hot rod, you match his energy. unlike said mech, you try to understand his interests, like crystals and yoga

of course, you being involved in the equation doesn’t erase dratchet from happening—if anything, it only pushes them to happen sooner. when drift confides to you, you encourage him to talk to ratchet more, and wingman for him, hyping him in front of ratchet. and while ratchet is initially skeptical of even talking to drift since they’re so. Different they do become a thing

they become a thing and you think your job here is done. unbeknownst to you, these bots want you too! so they make their own moves! drift gives you as many compliments as possible that tether on the edge between platonic and something more. he ultimately confesses with a heartfelt gesture. maybe with all his crystals forming a heart. cheesy but endearingly sweet <3

ratchet isn’t as loud about his feelings but… he definitely is softer in his interactions with you. he gives you lots of soft looks when he thinks you aren’t looking. i can’t see him confessing unless it’s heat of the moment so i think you or drift would have to make the first move to suggest a polyamorous relationship. but between the three of you: resident protector, medic, and human of megarod’s ship, you’re a wonderful trio

[m1tchgp]

some fem marc drawings, very hair centric

[darcyxpalmer]

Darcy tilted her head, pondering Adarsh's words before she shook her head. "People don't get thrown out of experiences and different studies just because they don't act the way they are assumed to. That is the whole point. You do the trials and experiences and then what happens either proves the hypothesis or it contradicts it, but the whole point is to get results, not to mish-mash them with eliminating the ones who don't fit a certain criteria or don't act the way they would have assumed them to."

She didn't even think that weeding anyone out would be the goal. If it was the case, the ship would have been a lot more dangerous and sure, there were some injuries, but they were just fine. They would be just fine in the end.

Darcy wished she actually had some kind of notebook with herself suddenly, so she could take everything down that Adarsh told her. If he was as important as she thought he'd be - and why would he be the only one without memories if he wasn't -, then she'd want to remember everything. But alas, she'd have to rely on her memories.

"I don't know, it's not really as cut and dry as you just not remembering everything and then your brain is empty of any kind of facts. Sure, one of the main types of amnesia really is that like, you just blank and don't retain information on anything for the last x amount of time, but so often it's not as cut and dry and oftentimes people still retain information like languages and general knowledge they gathered during the time period when they have amnesia. And since you don't actually remember anything from your life, that multiplies by tenfold, I am guess.

"If you really think about it, if you literally forgot everything you've ever known, you wouldn't know how to walk, how to communicate, stuff like that. Which is just not how it all works." Thankfully for Adarsh, really.

No head injury, just a headache. "That I guess could be from an intentional taking of your memories. But it could have easily been from us just getting out of the simulation and you having to adjust to the new reality. Or dehydration. Or plenty of other reasons, to be frank. But hey, at least it's not an actual injury."

Darcy's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the last few words of the man. Could she understand the sentiment that you'd want to give back some of the pain you recieved from somebody who hurt you? Sure, without a doubt. But Adarsh didn't know anyone actually hurt him, he could have signed up for this just as easily, not to mention it could have still easily come from an injury without any of them actually realizing it. "I don't really think that should be the first option. What if you are the one who signed up for this? You're just going to punch yourself? Not to mention, getting stuck on who did it sounds more like you might miss out of triggers that will result in you getting some of those memories back. Not that pointing that out helps that much, I also understand that."

Adarsh allowed himself to hear her out. Even if to him the explanation sounded dubious at best, like trying to make sense of something that was a complete coincidence. He frowned. “Hmm.” He tried to make sense of it the way she was trying to do, but came up short. “So they throw us into a new environment, scare us a little, and then provide a feast of food? As a test? To weed out… some people. What happens next, the ones who didn’t act according to their expectations will get weeded out?” It sounded like one of those reality shows. Though he realised quickly he hadn’t ever seen more than commercials for them, or maybe a few minutes of it as he skipped through channels. Not his type of program?

Adarsh wanted to scoff, but given how Bollywood-esque his amnesia was… she might not be wrong. “I remember facts, languages, movie plots, geography, some survival skills… things I gather someone with amnesia might not remember. Intentional seems more likely to me than a mistake.” 

He touched the back of his head. “*I don’t have any injuries, nothing to suggest brain trauma.” 

Though perhaps it was actual trauma, stress-induced amnesia. Another favourite Bollywood trope. He swallowed. “I did have a headache when I woke up,” he admitted. “But I don’t remember if it was because of the light of the sun after being below deck or if that happened earlier,” he admitted. With some frustration, because it would fit much better if it was in fact because of some scientist’s intention. 

He huffed. “Not at all comforting,” he agreed. “Makes me want to find whomever is behind this thing and fuck them up.” Crush their little scientist brains until they didn’t know who they were either.

He was a violent person, after all. 

[basket-of-radiants]

Why were you so disappointed by Rhythm of War?

This has been sitting in my askbox for years. I've taken several cracks at answering, only to get frustrated with the subject matter and burn myself out every time. I didn't like Rhythm of War. More than that, I didn't like it in a way that tainted my enjoyment of the entire series. And despite what it may seem, I don't actually enjoy discussing things which I don't like. I always want to talk from a place of good faith. Which is why now that my feelings towards the series are a little more positive, I think I can finally answer this.

I'm going to try to stay away from specific plotpoints and story beats for this post, because my goal isn't to nitpick (if for no other reason than it would take a week to write this post), I'm just looking to talk about my overall impressions. I think that might mean the only spoilers here will be structural? idk, if you haven't read Rhythm of War yourself then you should probably do that before looking for other people's opinions anyway. 

I liked Way of Kings when I first read it. I didn't love it at the time, but I liked it. Certainly enough to keep reading once I'd finished. One thing that made me a bit uncomfy, however, was the war against the Parshendi. They were this unknowable enemy which the book was not interested in knowing. An inhuman army. Their main purpose was to kill Kaladin's friends, or else be killed by Dalinar's armies. And yet the Parshendi, and the parshmen in the form of Shen, did show hints of personhood. And so it bothered me how Dalinar spoke so casually about how the Alethi had decimated their numbers, how the others used the war as a means to amass wealth and power. (It didn't bother me in a "this is a bad book" way but in a "these characters are bad people" way.)

One of my foibles as a reader is that when a book is very clearly treating one side of a conflict with more humanity, I tend to be a bit predisposed towards the other to account for that. And with the Alethi clearly being the invading party and superior military force, there was also some underdog favoritism. I didn't really like how the book treated the Parshendi. This is to say that going forward, the singers would be more important to me than any other through line.

So imagine my delight at reading Words of Radiance and meeting Eshonai, one of the Parshendi, who even gets her own point of view sections! They were no longer being treated as a faceless mass, we were getting to see things from their perspective as well. And it became plain to see the damage the Alethi had done to them. I couldn't really bring myself to root for Dalinar or really any of the humans against the listeners. I couldn't even bring myself to like most of these characters. I still enjoyed the book but once it became clear there wouldn't be a peaceful conclusion, let's just say that I wouldn't have wept for Dalinar and Adolin if Szeth had managed to off them. Like everyone in the book, I assumed that going forward all the parshmen would be turned into evil voidbringers in the everstorm and that the listeners were mostly dead. Except for Rlain, and Eshonai because I'd read or been told that book 4 would be Eshonai's book and thus had assumed she was fine. (Oathbringer spoilers, she was not fine.) So ultimately it was still a bit of a downer way to end the book. 

So imagine my delight at reading Oathbringer, where for the first time singers were being treated as people, full and real people, and where the human characters could no longer ignore or dismiss them. We met Khen and the others, common singers who were sympathetic and just wanted freedom from bondage. We see Venli grapple with the loss of her home. We see Leshwi and Moash connecting with and understanding one another. We learn of a history where singers were the original inhabitants of the planet. Parallel to this, Dalinar is having a truly excellent character arc about confronting one's past actions and acknowledging them to move forward and do better. I loved Oathbringer, for some years it was my favorite book, and I was excited as hell to see what came next. At the time, it seemed to me that there is a clear direction the story is going. Two books about needless war, and then a third where the main cast is forced to acknowledge the personhood of their enemies. This was so cool, all of my feelings from the previous installments were being validated, the characters were going to have to face what they've done in the past and outgrow their militaristic mindsets, I was so sure of that.

Imagine my disappointment when that does not even remotely resemble the direction the story went in Rhythm of War. RoW presented a clear, straightforward “us vs. them" narrative, where every character was totally fine with killing singers. Characters aligned with the singers were either flattened into wholly evil versions of themselves (Moash) or were expected to turn on their side in favor of the humans (Venli.) Because clearly there was no reason good people would be on the side that's all former slaves trying to stay free. Maybe there's some sort of accord or understanding between Navani and Raboniel that I might have found meaningful if the seeds of mutual understanding weren't already there in Oathbringer and then apparently ignored for a year by all the characters.

I have a lot of issues with how the listeners are handled in these books. (Here's some elaboration.) Following OB, I had thought that all my concerns were going to be addressed. Following RoW, I knew they never would be. 

Which is my main complaint, because that's the thread that matters most to me in this series.

I have a lot of other Things as well. Gonna just talk about a few big ones. 

One outsized source of disappointment that may seem a little petty, and which probably is, is that I felt mislead by the premise of the book. It had been announced that this book would center Venli and Eshonai, and I was unbelievably hyped for that. That did not really turn out to be the case. The purpose for their backstory chapters felt less about exploring them as people and contextualizing their arcs, and more about filling in gaps of world history. In the main plot, Venli was a POV character and she certainly played a role, but honestly not a very important one overall. To me she felt like a side character in her own book. I don't think it's controversial to say that the main character of RoW was Navani. A lot of people really like Navani and are happy about that. Unfortunately I'm not one of those people, and I found it all the more difficult to enjoy her when it felt like it was coming at the expense of some of my favorite characters. 

This particular gripe somewhat comes down to preference, obviously everyone prefers to read about characters they like more than those they don't, and it can go both ways. (For instance, on a craft/technical level RoW is probably the superior book to W&T, but I liked the latter a lot more because of my stupidly outsized attachment to Szeth and Nale.) But I do think there's something of a real criticism in how the book would rather focus on the feelings of a queen rather than those of a genocide survivor, and how the former's are given significantly more weight and import. It ties in with my main criticism, I think. 

And then there's how human/human racism had also been wholly cast aside as a plot point. Jasnah fixed slavery so that's resolved, and the only person who still cares about structural racism is the evil bad bad evil villain Moash/Vyre, who is now wholly irredeemable and who you're allowed to totally write off because he's sold his soul to Odium. I've already talked a lot about this. Other people have already talked about this, probably better than me. The writing was actually on the wall for me in OB, but again, RoW was when I fully accepted that this was never going to be addressed. 

There's something else that probably deserves its own discussion rather than being quickly tacked on at the end here, but here we are. This book changed how the series approaches war. 

In WoK, war was very clearly portrayed as a bad and inglorious thing. It was brutal, it was painful, those at the bottom died cruelly and unceremoniously and pointlessly while those at the top turned a profit. Every day was a new horror. The enemy were never evil, they were always just more people forced to go through the same thing. Through the next couple books, it felt to me that even if the characters had accepted war as necessary, there was still a tragedy to it. Conversely, in RoW (and W&T) war is basically a series of boss battles, in between which our protagonists can kill dozens of footsoldiers with barely a thought in the same way WoK had criticized.

Final note on all this, it sucks how we have no perspectives from the former-slaves-singers demographic. Those guys are really thrown under the bus, and seemingly get no self-determination now or ever. It was a glaring problem to me in RoW. Conscripted and enslaved humans and singers probably have just as much ground to form mutual understanding as a fused and a queen. (In fact they already had. In Oathbringer.)

In essence, RoW disappointed me because it left me with the distinct impression that none of the series's most important through lines (well, most important to me) were going to be resolved well. I liked W&T, but I haven't revised my opinion very much about the overall handling of these topics across the series. Maybe one of the reasons I was able to enjoy W&T so much more was because I no longer had such high expectations.

[kandlewick]

i'll dry the villain's tears

t h e r o s e r e d t y r a n t ' s m o t h e r pt.2

you get reincarnated into a role that became the breaking point of the villain's story and you, be it an unwillingness to cause them harm or a desire to survive, must work hard to make sure they grow into a better (or at least safer) person.

You felt entirely too overdressed sitting here at the park. Your former body's wardrobe was obviously not meant for anything too strenuous and that apparently included just enjoying your time outside in the sun. You could feel the sweat gather in uncomfortable places... but your nerves weren't just because of the warm weather.

Trey's mother sat beside you, much more dressed for the occasion, and watched as Trey and Riddle reconnected. You could hear the two of them laugh and giggle as they began playing as if nothing had ever happened and the two were quick to run up the steps leading to the slide, followed by a whole gaggle of other children. You let out a soft sigh of relief at the sight.

Not just the clothes, but your body was so stiff and rigid it was hard to even relax as you tried to breath. Your back was straight as a rod while you sat on the uncomfortable park bench, your well manicured hands firm on your lap and you shuffled uncomfortably in place. Trey's mother eyed you from her spot on the bench and offered a small smile, like she was acknowledging how strenuous this whole situation was for you.

"I'm guessing you've never brought Riddle to a public park before, huh?" She crossed her arms and leaned on them over the table, linking her fingers together, "You look like you're about to faint."

You forced out a laugh, too embarrassed to meet her gaze and pulled at the high collar of your buttoned top. You could practically feel heat waves steaming off of you. "Something like that," you admitted, "I wasn't exactly a good mother when it came to recreational activities."

You inwardly cringed at your wording — what, is Miss Rosehearts vocabulary infecting you too?

Trey's mother hummed as she continued to look at you. You could feel her bright hazel eyes staring at you. You could feel a cold sweat drip down your neck.

"Please stop me if this sounds too forward," Trey's mother leaned back but quickly offered her hand to you, "but my name is Dinah."

You blinked up at her, startled. She... wanted you to shake her hand?

She offered up her hand again and made a motion for you to follow. Almost hesitantly, you reached out and clasped her hand in your own, shaking it. Her palms were so warm, comforting, almost the exact opposite of your body's cold touch. She smiled at you, the dimple on your cheek crinkling with delight.

"I figured since our children are such good friends, we could at least try and act cordial." She glanced over as your two children sat next to each other on the swing set, the elder Trey guiding Riddle on how to kick back his feet. Riddle was hesitant and stumbled a few times, but kept giggling all the same, obviously entranced.

"Trey likes to baby younger kids," Dinah smiled, "I wonder how he'd do with younger siblings..."

You noticed that too as Riddle followed him around like a little duckling chasing after its mama. Whatever Trey did, Riddle would follow even if it meant pushing his limits. Trey watched carefully from the other end of the playground as Riddle jumped from one platform to the next, his arms out and knees shaking as he tried to keep himself balanced. Whenever he would stumble and topple over the edge nearly sending him into a fit of tears, Trey was quick to act and followed him back to the beginning.

"He's a sweet kid." You mumbled, "You're a great mother."

She gave you an almost sympathetic look, noticing your tone before reaching out and grabbing your hand, "Hey, you're not doing so bad now either." She squeezed your hand in her own and offered you an encouraging smile, "Parenting isn't easy and sometimes you don't notice the damage until it's too late but look at you," She gestured to your whole self, "Better late then never, right?"

You both sat there idly chatting until much later then you had figured you would and before long, the sun had began to set, casting the park in a orange hue. You were caked in sweat but Riddle wasn't doing much better. The two children came back huffing and puffing from exhaustion, sweat dripping off their foreheads like rivers. Riddle looked especially tired, his cheeks a bright red.

"I think I'm ready to go now," Riddle sighed.

You gave him a small smile and pulled him close, rubbing your pristine sleeve against his cheeks and wiped away any of the dirt that stained his skin, laughing as he let out a soft whine. Trey wasn't faring any better and was quick to lean against his mother's lap. Dinah ruffled his hair but her face quickly grimaced at the sweat in his hair. The kids obviously were going to need a bath after this.

You pulled Riddle in to your arms and tucked him under your chin. His bright red hair tickled your face but you held him even closer as his arms wrapped around your neck. He let out a soft sigh against your shoulder. Trey, being much taller then Riddle, simply grabbed Dinah's hand. He tiredly looked up at the young boy in your arms and smiled, his hands raising to offer Riddle a small wave.

"Bye, Riddle. We'll play again sometime, ok?"

Riddle turned his head and nodded, a sleepy smile on his face, "Mmmhm..."

"We will do this again sometime, right?" Dinah lowered her voice and leaned over so that Trey wouldn't be in ear shot, "This isn't a one time thing?"

"Oh?" You blinked over at her. Oh! "Yes!" You reassured her, your voice a little too loud, "Yes, we would love that. Riddle would love to." I would love to!! You screamed in your head, eager to befriend her. You wanted friends too!!!

Dinah gave you a dazzlingly bright smile, "Then I think we should invite Chen'ya and his uncle next time too!" Riddle and Trey straightened up at this and you could tell the two of them were excited about the thought.

"His uncle?" You questioned. That doesn't sound very familiar.

"Oh yeah," Dinah laughed behind her hand, "Chen'ya's parents are always out of the country on business so he lives with his uncle and his grandfather. My husband and I are good friends with them both and his uncle is a really fun guy, I'm sure you'd find him... interesting!"

It would certainly be interesting meeting someone new that you had no idea about... plus you'd be able to apologize properly to Chen'ya and whoever his guardian was. It could possibly be very... fun. You could feel your body hum in excitement as you found yourself nodding eagerly, nearly bouncing Riddle in your arms, "I would like that very much."

And then after exchanging phone numbers, you and Dinah parted ways, the two children eager to return home and rest.

"Mmmm," Riddle hummed in your arms, his hold on you loosening as he began drifting off, "I had a lot of fun today —" He yawned loudly, his head burrowing itself further into your neck, a content smile on his face, "Thank you."

[thesmokinpossum]

The Godfather, Mario Puzo | An Hymn to Childhood, Li-Young Lee | Psalm 139: 14 | The Godfather, Mario Puzo | For your own Good, Leah Horlick | Erou, Maya Phillips | The Godfather, Mario Puzo | Ask Polly | The Hours, Michael Cunningham | FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK", IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE" ENERGY DRINK