#AUGH I’D LIVE IN THAT

[ozzybutweirdthistime]

me, a fool: wow i’m really liking how my minecraft build is coming out

etho, making the most comfortable looking house to ever exist:

me: what the hell

[thekidsarentalright]

Altas, since you seem to have the power can you manifest either Bishop's Knife Trick or West Coast Smoker for the Seattle show for me?????? thanks in advance 😎🎱

nfkrnfdk i am already SO on it manifesting bishops knife trick for seattle don’t worry, will also start asking for west coast smoker tho too i’ve got u 🫡💕

[achilleslyre]

i need to live with other autists so bad. living with non autists is actually the worst they don’t care about how anything is ever.

[trollbreak]

Kit would fucking adore undertale ;w;

[fiber-optic-alligator]

I would LOVE to see a TFA!Megatron x human reader of some kind. I love him so much, such an intimidating and scary but fun version of him 🤭 I want it to be in the First Contact AU still, but why not sorta spice things up and make it have soulmates in it? Wouldn't it be cool to have a giant alien warlord from space destroying cities to find their soulmate? 😳🫣 lol if this idea sucks de bout it, but I'm excited to see your works that's transformers g/t related!

- ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST CHAMELANON! PLEASE ENJOY!!! God I love TFA Megs so much. He's so hot AUGH!

Be Careful What You Wish For

Pairing: TFA Megatron x Human Reader (Soulmate Au)

Word Count: 2961

Summary: Soulmates exist, and you have one. Proof exists in the form of soulmarks: a red thread-like tattoo imprinted on a person's arm. Only when one meets their soulmate and touches them will the soulmark disappear. Unfortunately, you have yet meet yours. After many lonely days wishing you would be reunited with your Other Half, a chaotic encounter with the leader of the Decepticons has you realizing one thing. And it is that soulmates persevere across time...and space.

Soulmates are real.

  Since you were a young child, this is what you have been told. Soulmates are real, and every person has one. The special red thread that connects two people twines between the left hand’s fingers, up the arm, snaking under the clavicle and ending directly over the heart. Bright like the blood running through your veins, it is your life force, your compass leading you to your Other Half, with your hand outstretched to touch theirs…and only then will the red thread disappear.

  You’ve spent hours staring at that red line, tracing the pattern it makes on your flesh. It’s been a constant presence throughout your life…and it has never gone away. No matter who you’ve met, who you have fallen in love with, who you have fallen out of love with, it is all the same. The thread remains, and you continue to carry a lonely heart within you.

  “Give it time,” your loved ones tell you. “You’ll find them. It won’t happen in a heartbeat. You need to be patient.”

  Yes, you know. Patience, after all, is a virtue. Plenty go about their lives and never even see their thread go away. An existence without your soulmate can be a perfectly happy one. But you want to know who your Other Half is. You want to be one of the lucky few who can be counted as soulfully complete.

  Sitting in a coffee shop with a hot chocolate cupped between your hands, you find yourself once again observing your thread. The morning is cold; you can feel the wind trying to bite you through the shop’s large glass window. People bundled in their coats, scarves, and gloves hurry by, heads down and minds focused on whatever tasks they have at hand. Looking out, you observe them with a blank stare, not really observing them at all.

  “Anything I can get you right now?” The older woman who owns the shop comes up to you, offering a plate of freshly baked cookies. “Chocolate chip? They’re right out of the oven!”

  You offer her a thin smile and shake your head no. She understands; she’s seen you forlornly watching couples pass by. Sighing, she sets down the plate. “You know,” she says. “I didn’t meet my soulmate until I was in my early 40’s.”

  You raise an eyebrow. She sees your surprise and chuckles. “I know, right? A little late to be meeting my Other Half. But hey, it happened. And now look at me! I’m living a good life, running a successful business, and I got to see my thread go away. Those are all things I never thought I’d get to experience. All I had to do was wait a little!”

  You cringe. Yes, waiting. It seems all you’ve been doing is waiting, waiting, waiting, all for a soulmate who might never come. You and your damn waiting.

  She notices your mood go sour and sighs again. “Listen, all I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t lose hope. You’ll meet your soulmate. I know you’ve probably heard this before, but…you need to give the world time to sort things into order. That’s all you really can do when you're dealing with the threads of fate.”

  You mumble a quiet “Thank you” and try to look appreciative, when you feel anything such. She says no more, but leaves you a cookie before heading off to tend to the other customers. You watch her go, then lift up your left hand. Your thread is vibrantly bright, showing no signs of fading any time soon.

  Yeah, you think sadly while you bite into the cookie. No hope lost whatsoever.

  You are walking out of the shop when it happens. The door’s little chimes clink together as you swing it open and bid the owner farewell. And then, a pain unlike any other hits you with the force of a freight train. It tackles you and makes you stagger, knees buckling and bringing you to the ground in a matter of seconds. Your heart starts slamming against your ribcage so hard you think a bone might crack. Pushing your hand against your chest, you pant and watch your vision swim as you attempt to get to your feet, yet fail and fall down once more.

  Multiple people help you up, each one asking if you are alright. You hold out a shaking hand as if to assure them, but no sound comes out of your mouth when you try to speak.

  Someone says, “Call an ambulance!” You want to tell them you are fine; unfortunately, you can’t seem to form any coherent words. All that rises up from your throat is a thin, wispy whimper.

  The chaos continues when out of nowhere, an explosion erupts further down the street. People scream and scramble back. The people holding you let go, and you nearly topple right over again. Shouts of panic and confusion fill the air, confirming that no one has a clue as to what is going on.

  Two dark shapes scream through the sky. You look up just in time to see a fighter jet fly past with a bomber plane following behind. For a moment, you think this is some sort of military aerial show-why such a thing would be happening in the middle of winter, you don’t know-but it’s the only conclusive argument you can decide on what you are seeing.

  But then the two planes start descending. They roar over the crowded street, then begin morphing and shaping themselves into creatures completely different from the disguises they previously sported. You recognize them: they are Cybertronians. Robots from outer space who have become borderline celebrities in Detroit since arriving here months earlier. These two, however, aren’t members of the heroic Autobots who help protect the city. They are Decepticons. The villains, the destroyers. The bad ones.

  The smaller of the two stretches his arms over his head. He laughs maniacally as he watches people run. “Look at them, Lugnut! They’re scurrying away like little ants!”

  The other Deception growls and pays no mind to his partner. “Silence, Blitzwing. Lord Megatron has a mission for us to complete. We must distract the humans while he finds the one he is looking for.”

  Blitzwing’s face swivels and changes into an icy blue expression. He surveys the humans around him with an air of disgust. “I don’t understand why Lord Megatron cares to capture one of these creatures. They are far too weak to be kept as pets.”

  “It is not my place to question him, nor is it yours. We are here to do as we are told and give our lord the time he needs to complete his mission.” Lugnut grabs a car and throws it into the air. It crashes down with a heavy slam, windows shattering, metal crumpling, alarm screeching out the vehicle’s pain. You watch in horror, unable to fathom that you have a front row seat to this show of destruction Detroit is about to face.

  Yeah, no, you think. I’m not sticking around. These Decepticons obviously have no regard for human lives. If you remain here, there is a high chance you will end up dead. You need to run, now.

  “You're not going anywhere, little one.”

  The voice is deep, and it pulses through your mind like a gong. You clutch your head and bite back a shout of pain. A strange feeling builds up in your chest. It makes your heart beat faster, and your thread begins to burn with an uncomfortable warmth you have never felt before.

  A third vehicle appears from the sky: a strange helicopter with two blades and a massive cannon mounted beneath its cockpit. Your hair whips back when it lands. The Cybertronian’s body condenses and rises, metal folding over metal, creating a gigantic figure with narrowed red eyes that immediately land on you the moment they open. Your jaw drops; this is easily the biggest mech you have ever seen. And you recognize him. Megatron, the feared leader of the Decepticon forces, and the worst bot you could run into right now.

    Lugnut drops to his knees and bows. “I serve you, Lord Megatron!”

  Megatron does not acknowledge him. He remains focused on you. You are finding it hard to breathe.

  Blitzwing walks over to the taller mech. “My lord, the Autobots will be arriving soon. What should we do?”

  “Continue destroying what you can.” Megatron’s voice is a deep rumble of thunder. You feel the wind get knocked out of you when you hear it. His voice. His voice. Why are you so focused on his voice?

  Your thread is beginning to burn. You slap your hand over your left arm and squeeze, hissing through your teeth. Megatron notices; he looks intrigued.

  “Have you found what you are looking for, master?” Lugnut asks.

  “Indeed I have,” Megatron replies. “And I don’t intend to let it escape me. Resume your orders. Keep the Autobots back for as long as you can. Once I have what we came here for, I will sound the retreat.”

  Blitzwing and Lugnut do not question him any further. You, on the other hand, are questioning everything. Why is this robot having such an effect on you? Why can you hear his voice in your head? And why, why is your soulmark on fire?!

  He’s here for me. There’s no solid confirmation that has been given to you about this, but you know deep down it is true.

  He’s looking right at me.

  Shit. Fuck.

  Your legs want to move. But your brain forbids it and forces you to remain put, even as other people go running by you, their screams mingling as one high-pitched wail while Blitzwing and Lugnut destroy anything they can get their hands on.

  Megatron remains still. He tilts his head with the air of a curious predator who is searching out the weak spots of his prey. You cannot drop eye contact with him. Something about his piercing gaze has you rooted to the spot in which you stand.

  Only when he begins lumbering towards you do you snap out of it and run with the rest.

  Everything is a blur for you. You nearly get shoved to the ground multiple times by the panicked masses who are fleeing. It feels like Detroit is crashing down. Police drones are flying in to fight back against the Decepticons, but you don’t think for a second they’ll do any damage against them. After all, they hardly ever do.

  “Don’t run from me, little one.”

  There is pain. So much pain. It is too much for you to handle. It causes you to collapse, clutching your head and writhing in agony.

  “You are so much more fascinating than the rest of your pathetic kind.”

  The ground trembles. Each step signals the robot drawing closer and closer.

  “Why can I feel what you feel? Why does my spark tremble with your fear? I don’t understand it. I need to understand it. So stop running, and come here.”

  You need to keep going. Grunting, you struggle to your feet and stumble forward in a haphazard fashion. You don’t even bother looking back to see if the robot is close. You just need to run. You need to hide.

  Your miracle appears in the form of a parking garage. Squirming under the partially closed grated gate, you find that it is abandoned; no one is in here with you, and the cars are all empty, abandoned by their owners. You retreat into a corner dark and covered with shadows. It should provide you with the necessary cover you need in order to hide.

  You remain in there for what feels like hours.  It goes awfully quiet outside. Any remaining civilians are long gone. Somewhere close, you think you hear the sound of mechs duking it out. Your breathing echoes off of the parking garage’s walls, giving you a further sensation of complete unease. Perhaps hiding in here wasn’t the best choice. Maybe you should have continued running with other people to a safer spot. Allowing others to be in your presence would endanger them…but now you are alone, completely defenseless to those who wish you harm. The robot who is currently stalking you can kill you without even thinking about it. By hoping to protect the city, you may have ensured your own doom.

  You hear stomping outside. Too loud to be human, too heavy to be an Autobot. Your heart tugs eagerly on its strings in an attempt to break free. It’s a mutual sensation of utter fear and strange wanting.

  “Where are you?”

  You see the massive head of the mech appear right underneath the gate. A shriek nearly escapes you, and you have to slap your hands over your mouth to quell it. A single roving red eye searches the garage, unblinking.

  “I am not known for my patience, human. If you do not show yourself, I cannot guarantee things will end up well for you.”

  The eye settles on you. It narrows and a low growl emits from the robot’s intake. “There you are.”

  You have no chance to react before Megatron’s hand smashes through the gate. You scream when his fingers curl around you. Tightly pressed against his palm, you struggle and kick your feet while Megatron slowly draws you out into the open.

  “Let me go!” you shriek. “Stop! Please!”

  Megatron growls again and gives you a warning squeeze. “Fighting me will get you nowhere. Cease this at once, or suffer the consequences.”

  Well, that’s threatening. You immediately go limp and snap your mouth shut. Megatron snorts, satisfied. He brings you closer to his face, studying you. You shrink back, flush with panic and terror.

  “What is your name, human?” he rumbles.

  You stutter out a barely coherent reply. “Y-Y-Y/N.”

  “Y/N.” He repeats it to himself. “Y/N…a fitting name. Tell me, have we ever met before?”

  “I…I d-don’t believe so?” you say.

  “Hm.” He regards you, turning his hand left and right so he can examine you from all angles. “How very interesting.”

  “W-What’s interesting?”

  “Your mark.” He pushes his thumb under your left forearm. “It’s gone.”

  You follow his gaze. Indeed, where your thread should have been-the thread that has been with you for your entire life, a presence in which you believed would never leave you-there is only bare skin. There isn’t a speck of red to be seen. The burning that accompanied it before is gone too, and now there is a sort of settlement weighing on your chest. It is an instinctive rush of fulfillment, like this was meant to happen.

  You feel faint. Nothing makes sense anymore when you look back at the robot. “You…You're my soulmate?” you squeak.

  “Soulmate.” Megatron stretches the word out into a slow drawl. “So that’s what your species calls it. Yes, you can say that. My kind has a similar phenomenon that affects us.” He opens his mouth and breathes in deeply. “You smell of fear. I can see in your eyes that you know me. So this city is aware of who I am, hm?”

  You don’t dare answer. You're way too terrified of how close his massive teeth are to you. You don’t want to think about what might happen if you find yourself between them.

  “There is no need to be afraid of me. Our sparks are linked. I would be killing a piece of myself if I were to eliminate you.” He sighs. “As disappointed as I am to discover that my sparkmate is a human, I can learn to work with it. I wish to know more about you, Y/N. I will know why fate tied us.”

  “I need to know more.”

  “What makes you so different?”

  “Foolish little thing, you cannot get away from me.”

  “I will get to the bottom of this.”

  His thoughts are loud and overwhelming. You shake your head and feel tears gather in your eyes. “Please…It’s too much. Your thoughts-”

  “Ah. Is that primitive brain of your overloading? I can hear it. Don’t think your thoughts aren’t in my head as well.” He rises to his full height. “I am sure we will both learn to get used to it. If not, I will have Shockwave create something that will bar my thoughts from entering your mind.”

  “Wait! Wait!” You look down. The ground is far away from you. Everything sways queasily when Megatron begins to walk. “No! Put me down!”

  “If you vomit on me, I will not hesitate to drop you,” the Decepticon says gratingly.

  “Y-You can’t take me with you!” you yell at him. “I can’t be your soulmate! There has to be a mistake!”

  “The spark doesn’t lie. Your mark is gone, and I can feel the completion you bring me. There is no question that you are my Other Half. What I want to know is why.” He shakes his head angrily. “It is a burden to have such a weak creature by my side. But I will learn to understand. Perhaps you can show me the few strengths humans possess. Do you think you can convince me to spare your race, little one?”

  He’s taking you. He’s not letting you go. You feel faint with horror at the realization that you aren’t getting out of this. Whether you believe it or not, this alien robot is your soulmate.

  You’ve gotten exactly what you wanted. But this isn’t how you thought meeting your Other Half would go.

  You hear one last thought from Megatron echo ominously in your mind. It sends shivers down your spine. “You are mine now.”

  After that, you pass out.

[gremlingottoosilly]

augh id be such a pathetic incubator for Monster!König. I’m terrified of men irl and he’d make me run for the hills with his height and voice and size and mask so if he had me as his pet human I’d literally just shut down. I’d be way too scared to fight back but I’d be trembling and weeping and trying to plead with him instead. No resistance only terrified sad submission 🥰

If I’m good for him would he pamper me or dress me up all pretty maybe??? Get me a nicer collar and a plush soft thing to hold for comfort??? I’m a singer, I can sing him to sleep or something if he needs something as extra payment!!!! 👉👈🥺

Konig will try to be a good owner for you!! He doesn't have any reason to let you wear clothes, only if you're going outside and he doesn't want his precious wife to catch a cold and suffer((( If you're nice enough and beg him to cover you with something while you're on the base, he will try his best to find you something skimpy, but nice, mostly transparent. Maybe a thin gown, covering you in soft fabrics and cute colors so you would look like a little present, all nice for him. He is using you to taunt other survivor humans - just look at you, so perfect and obedient for him, the only thing you can do is cry and beg him to save your life, it's adorable! You learned how to beg, you are so pretty on your knees when you're asking, pleading with him to save the lives of these random humans he found in the wilds. You'd look at the horrified survivors with tears in your eyes, as you slowly ease yourself onto his giant dick, as you take his eggs one by one, and cover his skin with kisses because he likes to feel your warm body against his.

He calls you his little songbird, makes you sing him to sleep and when he is down with stress and exhaustion. Places you on his lap and wraps his tentacle around your body, using you as a pretty plushie just for him. You're so nice, so smart for a human - you don't resist, just cry and beg him to save your life, this is how all humans should behave! If someone will ever try to free you, some dumb rebels from underground human fractions kidnapping pretty breeder from a monster's colonel...you beg them to just let you go, to not endanger themselves because Konig won't spare anyone who has touched you. Everyone in the compound thinks you're a broken and stupid monster slut, so addicted to the feeling of monster cock forcing its way in your holes, to the weight of eggs in your tummy, that you aren't even a human anymore(( no one understands what danger they are in - Konig can smell you from miles away, he is linked to your body and will never let you go this easily. Poor, dumb thing( He will never let you go out of his sight after he just crushed those dumb rebels - you're getting a very firm collar around your neck, you're getting tossed around at every strategic meeting with him, sobbing on his lap as other monsters are laughing and groping your swollen tummy.

[sepublic]

I cannot imagine being Camila Noceda because so much of her arc starts around her being scared for her child, wanting her to do well and succeed and being afraid she’ll get hurt. And then right under her nose, her daughter has disappeared on some adventure in another world but at least she seems fine, right?

But you still let yourself break and you end up saying things you might regret. And then it’s only when you begin to worry about her that she comes back and she is scarred. She’s hurt. There’s a cut on her eyebrow and you realize it will never heal. It always reminds you of how you weren’t there for her, you couldn’t protect your daughter from those who hurt her, and if you’d been enough for Luz then maybe she wouldn’t have needed to come to the isles to begin with and be injured. You see how she’s begun to loathe and hate herself, because of things and people entirely outside of her control, and you couldn’t have been there to comfort her when she needed it. So now it’s built up for Luz into this horrific trauma that she hasn’t even yet begun to unpack.

Camila is stronger than everyone because if I’d seen my kid come back like that, I’d have broken apart asking what happened, are you okay, etc. But instead she remains strong because she can see that Luz and her kids are scared and they really need an adult who can be strong for them. Camila probably thought about what happened in Yesterday’s Lie afterwards, and come to regret her outburst; She must’ve guessed how it hurt Luz and made her feel terrible and alas she was right! So she vowed not to make that same mistake again and be even stronger next time, and she was!!!

But man that must’ve been so scary and helpless and painful, seeing what happened under your watch. Being unable to provide a fix in getting her back home, so of course Camila goes along to the Demon Realm once she gets that opportunity, because this all started because she wasn’t there for her daughter when she needed her most. Of course she supports her in coming out, as well as in staying in the isles; She won't blame Eda for giving Luz what she wanted and needed, as Eda herself couldn't be a hypocrite by telling Luz to stay with her mom. Camila won’t let Luz face this stuff alone like last time, not when she knows and Luz feels better about trusting her (or had to, anyway) and it’s what saves Luz!!! Because when Luz relapses after failing against Kikimora, it’s Camila who’s there to pick her back up and tell her everything she needs, which leads to Luz’s palisman String Bean finally emerging!!!

But then Luz dies and just. That scar must’ve reminded Camila that she wasn’t there to protect her daughter from anyone that might hurt her. And despite helping a little against Kikimora, it still happened again. Permanently. Man I wish Camila had a “GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BITCH” moment to get back at Belos for all she did her to child. But Camila had to keep going because after Yesterday’s Lie, she knew she still had other kids to look after. She was strong for Vee during Yesterday’s Lie, only to let herself drop right afterwards in front of Luz. But not again. No time for self pity, you just have to move on after a death and keep living, just as you did with Manny. And in the end, Luz IS all right, and she’s better than she’s ever been and there’s some huge relief.

Just augh Camila Noceda. Luz went on an isekai adventure, but maybe so did her mother? And I don’t mean with the Boiling Isles, I mean with the U.S. Camila might have been an immigrant, and not just the child/descendant of one. And even if she wasn’t, she still moved to Gravesfield. So in general so much of her life has been about going to another world and trying to survive and feel comfortable in it. As it was for Luz, too; But they survived along the way and found what fellow “weirdoes” they could, with Camila meeting Manny, who could’ve also related to her as a fellow Dominican American. And now she’s found others who can relate to Camila in other ways, as Manny also related to her as a huge nerd.

[hunterbunter3000]

Tbh the way you write Krueger gives me sugar daddy / obsessive vibes (not that I can complain). I love the idea of him being so obsessed to please sweetheart in any way she wants (personally I HC him as a service top switch, specially w the way you write him). But if you’re ever up to it I’d love some Krueger drabble (or ghost or könig bc they’re yummy too)

-🪿(hönk)

HÖNK BABES OMG

18+

You are so right with him being a service top 👏 ugh he would so eat her out until she passes out. Round after round, with his big ass hands clamped around her thighs and his thick tongue flicking against her overworked clit. AUGH he would cum so quickly because of her taste and moans. He would cum just from eating her out 💀💀

And he 10000000%% is obsessive with Sweetheart. He only thinks about Sweetheart 25/8 and all he wants to do is please her. He calls her "My little Goddess" for a reason ✨️ just touching her is a blessing to him. Touching her hand, he would crumble right then and there. He would do anything and EVERYTHING for this woman. He wants-- NEEDS-- to be around her all the time, or he will go INSANE. He's also pretty possessive with her. But Sweetheart shut that shit down, so he's only just a little teehee🤭 but yeah he becomes quite jealous when people talk to her. Don't touch her because you will lose a hand. And if you make a move? Oh, you're gonna end up either on a t-shirt or on a milk carton.

(I can go on and on with Krueger about being an obsessive freak with Sweets HAHA)

And hönk omg sugar daddy Krueger makes me want to fold😭 she wouldn't even ask him to be a sugar daddy, he would just do it himself. He LOVES spoiling her, even though she doesn't ask for it, he does it anyway. And of course she's thankful for it, she's not a brat. But that makes him buy MORE SHIT FOR HER

It's a cycle:

• Krueger buys something for Sweets

• Sweets yells at him

• Sweets says thank you and smiles

• Krueger gets the happy juice in his brain

And then it starts over 💀

He's even bought her an apartment close to his, but she wanted to stay in her old family home, so he said "okay. I'll just live closer to you" and she's like-- w h a t 🧍‍♀️

And OH he would so buy toys for her. Like vibrators. He bought one that he could control from afar and that was such a fun day LOL When he's not around, like on a mission, he made a mold out of his cock for her 💀 and yk... she uses it sometimes HWHEHSHES Krueger asked her to send a video of her using it and she does. She was so embarrassed and shy when she did it. Wearing one of Krueger's shirts and ONLY his shirt-- and her hair out (he loves seeing her hair down) and she's on the bed with the toy and she lubes it up, cause it's fucking huge. AND IT HAS A SUCTION CUP LOL so she just slaps on the bed frame and rubs it on her slit.

Fuck, and Krueger is just watching it like it's the last thing on earth. He is so FUCKING HARD and he wants to be there and fuck her himself. He hears her little whimper when the toy prods her hole. Sweet's is bent on the bed and holding a pillow, her eyebrows knitted and tears already springing in her eyes. Omg that makes Krueger go FERALLL

And once she backs her thick ass back into it, she squeals so loudly and starts to twitch. "Fuck... I think I just came..." GIRL I THINK KRUEGER JUST CAME WHEN YOU SAID THAT WTF-- she starts to grind on it, as much as she can fit, and starts to bounce on it. Her moans and whimpers flow through the speaker of his phone and other soldiers are just frozen and turned on, and are scared to shit to tell him that everyone can hear what's playing on his phone 💀(he honestly doesnt give a shit, hes too engrossed on the video) and Graves comes over, pissed at Krueger because it's extremely distracting whatever is on his phone. Graves was about to speak until he saw Sweetheart fucking herself on the biggest dildo he has ever seen. He has never seen her moan and whimper like that-- like gurl where has this side been?? And he just stands there with his eyes big and mouth gaping. His dick twitches in his pants and he feels light-headed. The fucking wet sounds of her stretched pussy and her low babbles and her bottom half jiggling with every bounce is straight torture for the both of them.

"Fuuucckkkk Krueger, if this is the size of your actual fucking cock I don't think I can take it..." Sweetheart whimpers out. Graves is like- SORRY WHAT

THAT BIG THING IS A MOLD OF KRUEGER'S COCK??? It's literally making a small bulge in her stomach when she sits up and it's not even in all the fucking way. Krueger growls, his knee bouncing like CRAZZYY "You'll take it, baby. You will." He mumbles to himself. Omg he's so turned on its making him unstable.

She goes faster, the bed frame creaking with her backing up on it. She gets louder and her thighs start shaking so damn much. "Cumming... Cumming!" She bites the pillow hard as her pussy creams around the dildo. She makes such a mess on the bed frame omg (Krueger and Graves wanted to lick it all clean) and she's breathing heavily, trying to calm herself down. Once she does, she gets up to get her phone, they can see that she's a bit sweaty and eyes teary and low. She wipes her face and she sighs before speaking. "I can't believe I did this. Fuck I'm still shaking. Just-- be safe Krueger." And the video ends. The silence is THICCKKKK AFTERWARDS LMAO

But I am making a smut fic between Krueger and Sweetheart, so keep an eye out for that!

[thepaintedsable]

PYRO! It’s Pyro! Yippee e!

I accidentally inverted the colors all of the insignias and gave Blue Pyro Red Pyro’s flamethrower :( My professional explanation for the second part is that Blue Pyro beat the living shit out of Red Pyro and stole their weapon, my professional explanation for the first part is I am is have are stupid.

Close-ups and special sketch page below the cut!!!

I remembered TF2 existed and this happened.

I have to mention that I have never touched this game, but I’ve been fairly aware of it for a really long time. I strayed away from it all because I was not/am not the best at multiplayer games, especially shooters (especially team shooters), and I never exactly felt like I had the skill to draw any of the characters. Plus the comic’s whole “missing the last issue” situation. I just really, really, didn’t want to be let down by investing myself in something I couldn’t be invested in. But something about “Meet the Pyro” stuck in my head like a burr to a shoe.

Rewatched Meet the Pyro more times than I should have. Looked into more animations and the fandom. Finally broke down and read the comic LMFAO. Surprisingly, I really enjoyed it! Even with the missing part, the format it’s presented in and the general wackiness was refreshing compared to what I normally read.

I still like Pyro, and when I remembered I’m better at drawing now, augh. There he go. They are all over, as they should be.

MF has a homemade flamethrower, canonically killed great value brand Smokey the Bear (on purpose), is/was the highly successful CEO of an engineering company, and is so efficient on the battlefield his teammates are horrified by him and his methods. Also there is no telling wether they even know what they are doing or where they actually are because of the pyro vision stuff. Plus the fun mystery of who they are under the mask. :) We don’t even know nothin about this guy.

Just a silly little guy. I’d like to take both the “They know nothing about what they are doing” and the “They know everything about what they are doing” and staple them to Blue and Red respectively. Which is which, though? Not important. Only need enough info to pit two bad bitches against each other, and also to consider how their teams treat them in response. They are both fucked up, but in opposite directions.

ALSO WHY DID I HAVE TO FIND OUT THIS FANDOM HAS THE CUTEST SHIP NAMES EVER ON MY OWN????? I don’t even really like ships in general, but like… Texas Toast? Speeding Bullet? Brush Fire??? Can someone please please confirm that French Toast is another one oh my god???? I don’t even care about the ships, I care about wordplay and cleverness. If you look up Texas Toast on this site it is all Engineer x Pyro and that is SO FUNNY

I can’t promise that this will be the last Pyro page. He might be the one that’ll actually stay.

[eardefenders]

Sherlock & Co - Mailbag Episode 3 Transcript

00:00 John: Heyyy there, I’m,uh, I’m, uh, back in your ears! Heh. Uh, thanks for inviting me in. Um, I-I just wanted to add a chunk on before this Q and A just to give you an update on all things Gloria Scott. Uh, thanks so much for the kind words, first off. Uh I-I-I did warn about its angst. Um, and I appreciate i-it’s not always a fun ride when, when those kinds of things happen. Um. But hey! I’m glad you all enjoyed it. Um, glad the masterful sound design was appreciated.

00:32 John: Uhm, yeah I thought I’d, I’d check in now and give you a rundown of it all. Post match interview sort of stuff. Uh, Lionel did recover from the stroke. He is out of hospital, but he will be going back to Australia. Um. He’s-he's obviously cooperating with the government, um, down there. It’s not an easy situation, but he’s handling it with remarkable grace and dignity. Um. Victor is, as well. Can’t quite get the read on things with him at the moment. He’s obviously very, very torn. Uh, we solved the case for him, but, y’know, yeah. H-he’s in a much worse place then he was before. Um. *pause* Such is life. Uh, such is a very complicated life, I should say. He’s helping his dad, with the inquiries. Uh, m-my gut says there’ll be prison time. *sucks teeth* Um, y’know, c-cooperation and evidence and the, yeah, t-the mitigating circumstances might be helpful to Lionel and all, but, uh… *deep breath* ultimately lives were lost. He was complicit. Y’know this is the world we live in.

01:49 John: *sucks teeth* Victor has paused the job search, but uh I-I do believe he’ll be coming back to the UK once, y’know, whatever happens, happens. But, uh, yeah. Tough stuff. Um, glad you all enjoyed Mariana joining in on the adventure. Um, don’t know if she enjoyed it all that much. So far she’s watched corpses get pulled out of the canal and now she’s watched an elderly stroke victim get extradited for murder. So, uh, y’know. *chuckles lightly* Welcome to the world of true crime, Ametxazurra!

02:23 John:Um, Sherlock asked me to apologize, also, actually. Um, yes, to apologize that he wasn’t technically correct in his solving of the case. Um, uh, Hunter did reveal the actual truth. I, I told him people wouldn’t really mind. He got me to apologize anyway, so, uh, yeah. There you go. Um, so he’s been a right mopey bastard, as you can imagine. *clears throat* So, to cheer him up, I carted him off to…an indoor theme park! Heh, yeah, you heard that right. Theme park. But indoors. Well, theme park’s a bit strong to be honest. I-I-It’s like an arcade with an indoor roller coaster. But yeah! Y’know! Uhm, back to Camden, but for a much more enjoyable experience.

03:05 John: These questions were asked, um, before The Gloria Scott episode aired. T-two that I ask Sherlock right at the end are eerily prescient. Um, that’s the right word, I think? Uh, I hope. Welp, you’ll see what I mean. Enjoy!

03:19-3:49 *Intro Music*

03:47 *Arcade Sounds Fade In, we can hear Sherlock exerting himself*

03:50 John: Yoooo, wassup guys! Welcome to the John Watson channel where we talk all things John Watson all the time! Ehh, that’s my impression of a youtuber or real podcaster, hope you enjoyed it. Ah, right, Sherlock, tell the members where we are.

04:01 Sherlock: Indoor theme park! Augh! *through gritted teeth* You little alien bastard! Get back here!

04:09 John: Sherlock is doing some whack-a-mole, ah, or they’re aliens in this place, not moles. Could be alien moles. Who knows. Ah, it’s an indoor theme park in *in a very exaggerated North London accent (genuinely he sounds like an ass here)* North London. That’s North London, sorry. Bit excited. Had about a kilogram of sugar. Haha, I’m looking at all sorts here. Arcade machines, carousels, basketball hoop game thingy, air hockey, bumper cars -dodge’ems, call’em what you will-, and an indoor roller coaster! Hahahaa! It’s wild stuff. Okay, let’s get to some questions over a casual game of air hockey.

04:40 *Audio Cut, sounds of air hockey being played*

04:41 Sherlock: Have that! *puck hit sound* And that!

04:44 John: ‘Have that and that’? What are you, a musketeer? Hahahaaaa! *sound of a puck entering the goal* First point Watson! Heyheyheeeey, ahhhh. And now for the first question. Uh, Tonkster aka Resetoaster asks, “To John and Sherlock, if you go to Subway -the fast food I should clarify- what do you usually order?”

05:03 Sherlock: *with exertion* You’re *sound of the puck being hit* distracting me! Ah!

05:06 John: Ah, you wouldn’t be saying that if you were winning.

05:07 Sherlock: I’m not winning *puck hit sound* precisely because of it.

05:11 John: Alright, fine. I’ll answer. Uh, I like the turkey club. Is that-Ow! That hit my finger. *hisses in pain*- I think there’s a turkey one. Um, I like that one on plain-ish bread. I don’t think their fancy breads are all that good. Uh, and then I’ll have a southwest sauce- Wham! Haha! *sound of puck entering goal*

05:23 Sherlock: Oh, bugger.

05:26 John: Subway order?

05:26 Sherlock: Never been.

05:27 John: Great.

05:27 *audio cuts. Sounds of automatic rifle fire going off*

05:29 John: Reloading. Cover me!

05:29 Sherlock: Covering.

05:30 John: Incoming at your two o’clock.

05:31 Sherlock: On it!

05:32 *sounds of two loud gunshots*

05:33 John: Yesss, Sherlock. Right, through the lobby. Okay, let’s see how this goes. Bellaxbear01 asks “If you guys want another pet, what animal would it be? Another dog, another cat, or maybe a fish?”

05:47 Sherlock: I like fish. *sound of gunshots* Very much. Reloading.

05:50 John: *pleased* Oh, hahah! I like fish too!

05:52 Sherlock: Really?

05:53 John: Yeah! Tropical?

05:54 Sherlock: Tropical or temperate.

05:56 John: Well that’s good to know. Yeah, worth maybe one day looking into that? Oo! Getting shot at here. Uh, Amelie5 asks “Do you have a favorite case you’ve solved so far?

06:05 *sounds of a big gun being fired*

06:07 Sherlock: A good question at bloody last. Die you bastards! *big boom*

06:12 John: Oh wowhaowhaooow! *sounds of I guess dirt falling, maybe bodies???* *with a smile in his voice* Oh, you made him blow up! Ha! Ahh, I know the feeling. Poor sod.

06:18 Sherlock: I rather enjoyed the Red Headed League.

06:22 John: Yep, that was a good’un. -Oh, duck down! That’s a machine gun.- Did you like the Red Headed League because of the case or because it proved me wrong about it being boring?

06:27 Sherlock: Mmm, both.

06:28 John: Great, well-oh I’m dead. *sound of man yelling, presumably John’s character dying in the game* Balls.

06:31 *audio cut. Ambient arcade sounds with something fizzing at the forefront*

06:34 John: What is that?

06:35 Sherlock: *struggling to speak* opp ing andy.

06:37 John: Opping Andy?

06:38 Sherlock: *still struggling to speak, but clearly annoyed* Op-opping. Andy.

06:41 John: Ohhhh, popping candy. Right. Well, RangerPip asks any specific reason you started smoking a pipe?

06:49 Sherlock: *unintellible gargling and consonant sounds*

06:54 John: Right, well, if you understood that RangerPip, well done you, haheh. *pause* *in a considering tone* Hunnh. He may or may not be choking.

07:03 *audio cut, loud music and bumper car sounds*

07:04 John: Ah!

07:04 Sherlock: Ahahaha!

07:05 John: Hahahah, left! Left! Left!

07:08 Both: Ah! *sound of impact*

07:09 John: Oh my god, my ribs! Argh, right! Let’s get up some more speed and smash into these kids-uh, I mean! These, um, big burly blokes.

07:17 Sherlock: Here we go.

07:20 John: Yesss, Sherlock, we are at some speed now, baby! Hahahah, right! Question from Raylein, “Does Archie get human food? And if he does, who feeds it to him?”

07:30 John: Ah yeah I do feed him, I-

07:30 Sherlock: Yes.

07:33 John: Wait.

07:34 Sherlock: What?

07:35 John: You’re feeding him as well?

07:36 Sherlock: I am, yes!

07:38 John: Well, that explains a lot. Uh, yeah Raylein, I don’t really like animal products going to waste so I just, um, I chuck him all sorts. Ope, here we go. Come here you little shits.

07:44 Sherlock: Ahhhhhhhh!

07:45 John: *sound of impact* Ah hahah!

07:48 *audio cut, it’s much quieter now, but they’re still at the arcade*

07:49 John: *remorsefully* I just didn’t think they’d cry and tell their mums is all.

07:51 Sherlock: That’s what children do. *accusingly* You told me to smash into them.

07:55 John: I did not say that.

07:57 Sherlock: Can I get the SD card out of your microphone and check?

08:00 John: No.

08:01 Sherlock: See.

08:02 John: Andrew says, “Question for Sherlock: Do you have any piercings? And, if you don’t, do you want any? And, if you do, which ones do you want?”

08:10 Sherlock: *sucks in a deep breath* Ear piercing. I haven’t used it for some time.

08:14 John: Why not?

08:15 Sherlock: Was that asked in the Discord?

08:17 John: What?

08:18 Sherlock: That. Just then.  The ‘Why not?’

08:21 John: …No.

08:22 Sherlock: *takes a breath* Well then. I needn’t answer it. This is a time for members.

08:26 John: Right. Great. Lovely. Ok, MushPit says “Your deductive skills, was it talent you were born with or a skill that you developed and perfected over time?”

08:34 Sherlock: I assume MushPit is asking me, not you?

08:37 John: Ah ha ha, very funny.

08:40 Sherlock: My senses have always been, um-

08:43 John: Overcalibrated?

08:44 Sherlock: Yes, quite. Sooo, I’ve always observed a lot. When I found it difficult to tune out of my surroundings, I decided to analyze them. Then it became rather addictive. Yes, it became a skill, but I feel it much stronger then a skill. It feels like a byproduct of my very existence. I cannot unlearn it. IIII cannot wind it down or soften it. It occupies me as much as I do it. I fear that I  cannot stop it. Even if it kills me. Even if it drains everything from me and I can never truly find it to know myself, to know my surroundings without the necessity…uh, no, the-the requisite to my very self. To t-try to understand everything-

09:33 John: The rollercoaster’s ready.

09:34 Sherlock: Oh.

09:35 John: Uh, we- we can finish if you want? Uh, y’know we can go on it later?

09:40 *audio cut, we can hear the roller coaster going and John and Sherlock on it. John keeps saying ‘Woohoo! Wheee!’ and Sherlock is saying joyfully ‘Bloody fantastic! Absolutely bloody fantastic!’ Both of them also keep laughing in between their exclamations*

09:48 *audio cut. We’re outside. London traffic can be heard.*

09:53 John: Oh that was good! Wasn’t it?

09:54 Sherlock: *pleased* Superb.

09:56 John: Not a bad idea, is it? A theme park, indoors? I mean we were a little old for it, but hey, y’know, there’s no age limit on enjoyment! Well, I mean you can’t go jumping into a soft play or anything like that, but yeah. Yeah. Now we are walking near Chalk Farm. Not actually a farm of chalk, of course. It’s just a nice place between Bellsides Park and the Northern end of Camden town. How’s that q and a session for you, mate?

10:16 Sherlock: Is that question on the Discord?

10:17 John: Right, ok. This is not a thing. You can still have normal chats with me inbetween members questions.

10:25 Sherlock: Noted.

10:26 John: Well it’s a question for me now anyway. Um, has your mother finally listened to the podcast? And if yes, what does she think of it? Uh, yes, has she listened? She has! She didn’t like the sound of my bomb. That makes two of us, there. Eheh. Uh, and she sent me further messages about Mariana. And! She will occasionally point out when I’ve been rude to people on the show. *clicks tongue* She also asked me if the Austrian man’s face was okay, so she has at least, definitely finished one adventure. And, no. His face is not. Ok. Mum. Uhh, so- hunh, this is weird.

10:59 Sherlock: What’s that?

11:01 John: Two questions here, next to each other. Uh, I-I’m not making this up. First one, Ramt or-or Ramtonk, “t-the flowers on my orchids are gone, but the plants themselves are thriving. Uhh, they’re watered as they should be and get optimal sunlight. Will the flowers ever come back?”

11:19 Sherlock: *pleasantly surprised* Hhha!

11:20 John: Right? Yeah and the second one from Batonks the Graveyard Ghost says, “Question for John, do you have any funny memories from your childhood that you’d like to share with us?”

11:30 Sherlock: Yes, that is quite remarkable.

11:32 John: Well! I’ll let the adventure of The Gloria Scott answer those questions! So, ah, everybody, thanks so much for these. I hope you enjoyed the answers. Sorry it’s been so short, but I’ve just noticed that that’s our bus!! We’re gonna miss it! Go! Go! Go!

11:46 Sherlock: *frustrated sigh* For goodness sake!

11:47-12:17 *Outro Music Plays*

[quirrrky]

PICK A PINK FROM ABOVE 1 → 2 → 3 〔MASTERLIST • OTHER PACS〕

Let's discover how your HAIKYUU hubby will pursue you, win you over and take your heart away! ♡ Happy Heart’s Day, my loves 🫶!

1.Close your eyes and think of your HAIKYUU s/o and focus on the pictures above. 2. Select which one your eyes guide you into. You may choose a different heart per character. 3. Go under the cut to find your scenario! Fall in love!

Fan girl with me! I’d love to know which pile you picked and who is your hq s/o!

♡ This shall not be reproduced, reposted, modified, translated in any form or by any means.

cards

TBH I can't even begin this reading because where to start? There's a lot! IG it can feel this way for you both. Like you know it, you feel it, but you can't exactly explain what's happening. Judgment card came out and perhaps this is where this innate knowing is coming from. You'll both just know you were meant for each other, and probably have a future together right off the bat. At the very back of your head, you'll get that strong hunch. This is even out of topic but it's the front and center of everything. Because of this, your hq s/o might act like he's already your boyfriend or spouse. That's how he'll pursue you. He'll give you the ultimate husband experience even though you're not even giving him your yes yet.

You'll feel pursued by him, but to him he's simply being the way he is the way he wants to show you how much he loves you...likes to be with you. With all the cards here showing what he feels, thinks and how he is as a lover, I guess, pining for you...showing you that he loves you is as natural for him as breathing air.

See...almost all of your cards shows the man behind the woman. I perceive that he will always got your back. If you need an ally, a confidant, an extra hand he will all be that person in one. I can see him saying, "I can handle this. I got you." Then kisses your forehead....Aaaah! Anyway, he'll be very dependable and might have that take-charge persona. On the other hand, he will also be especially soft for you—emotionally open and understanding. He'll make you feel nurtured, cared for and comfortable. Big cuddle energy. I feel like he'll have difficulties controlling himself from hugging you or touching you in anyway. He can be touchy. This man requires a ton of physical touch, but since you aren't official yet and he's still convincing you to be his, he'll curb himself so bad...but you'll notice him talking very close to your face, placing his hand at the small of your back...He'll be physically attracted to you. I'm seeing it's the both of you, actually. You might dirty joke around each other often. To you, it's prolly just a joke, but to him, it's a different story. I told you this guy's into physical touch as a way of expressing love, so...Let's just focus on the aspect of it like frequently and lovingly running his hand over your head before we go NSFW.

Augh...I perceive that he'll worship you. The type to bring you on fancy flirty dinner dates, movie screenings and he'll act like he's been doing this for you since your past lives' marriage. Helps you with whatever you need. Gives you whatever you want if he can, why not? He might always come up with gifts for you everytime you'll meet. Two cards pop out talking about money. This guy will spoil you like it's nobody's business yet he'll also tie your shoes, fix your hair, paint your nails, treat you to a relaxing day spa...Name it, baby.

Emotionally expressive (mostly through touch ngl), gift giver and always at your service...A wish coming true? He's just too good to be true. I was even tempted to reshuffle this pile because I can't believe what I'm seeing. You might think he's scamming you or he's just playing around, love bombing you and all. You might doubt his intentions. You might think...What did I ever do to deserve this? Why does he love me so much?

I wonder the same, we got the same pile anyway! I already told you. He'll just know you're the one. He might have had a bad relationship before and you, appearing in his life, are the fruit of every lesson he's ever learned from the past. Finally, he met someone whom he can share his life with. He'll know. He'll just know. You'll probably get the same cognition towards him too. Around him, you can show who you truly are without pretending to be someone else...just that easy, effortless comfort. Release is what I've perceived...we just gotta let it go and flow, because this love's the one you've been yearning for after all.

If you're still wondering...Your s/o can't get you off his mind. He always thinks of you. You might notice this by him constantly hitting your DMs, because he misses you uwu...IDK, I guess sometimes you might think he can be a little smothering ngl. He might constantly remind you to eat on-time, etc...but I really sense a very loving and tender energy around him. I'm getting the feeling like I wanna melt in his arms and snuggle close! This could be how he's been feeling! Perhaps, you too! I bet he gives the best hugs. It suddenly came to me, that there's gonna be something so soft and dear in the way he'll look at you.

Srsly, I better stop now. Me stopping myself like this. Do you know that I've been trying to get one card per draw only, but two cards kept popping that's why I surrendered and got those extra cards that came through. I really do sense that your hq s/o has so much love to express that it overflows.

Okay now, just go listen to the songs that was shuffled through while I was writing for you to know how much he's pining for you.

late night talking - harry styles shinunoga e-wa - fuji kaze adore you - harry styles how do I make you love me - the weeknd

flower, heart-racing, i love you, giving back, stargazing, proposal, i miss you, netfli and chill, I see something that reminds me of you everywhere I go, you mean the world to me

▎There will be a special N/SFW version to be posted on Saturday in my adults-only blog. ASK/DM me this emoji (🍆) to be added to the taglist lmao

cards

I can see here that your hq s/o likes to look at you whenever you aren't looking...most of you here, he could be an introvert or leaning more towards being such a shy boi... He might have had some trust issues that stops him from coming forward too quickly. Another reason I'm seeing is...this guy thinks you're way too out of his league. Like how can someone like you fall for someone like him??? Sometimes, he can't also bear the hard beating in his chest whenever he gets caught in his feelings. He's so much head over heels for you. This man is totally your secret admirer! He's definitely the type to write you letters, leave little gifts on your desk/inside your locker.

He'll probably dedicate a song for you too. If he ain't a good singer...it can be creating a playlist dedicated for you in which the songs contain the feelings he has for you in the lyrics. deffo the type to look after you. Whenever he'll pass by you and you're carrying something heavy or smth, in general, he'll volunteer to take care of those stuff for you. I can see him following you around and he has that cute uwu face whenever he's casting a glance at you. So soft energy for real. He might even wait for you outside of your building so he can walk you home..carry the umbrella for you and bring you smth whenever you're sick. He'll run to the store for your favorite food just to cheer you up. He loves to gently run his fingers through your hair.

I'm also seeing that if you have someone against you or you're being *bullied. He'll stand by you no matter what others would say. You might have other suitors aside from him and this man, I'm telling you, this man will fight for you. At his first shot though, you might overlook him or at the very moment you're crushing on him, he might be too coward/oblivious/dense to come forward. I see him coming back to win you ten times over. He'll sweep you off your feet before you even know it. Though this can be quite a slow burn, he'll be your stronghold in darkest of times and you can trust this guy to always be at your beck and call as he so much love for you he can't even explain it.

ilysb - lany the feels - twice fly me to the moon - frank sinatra

over the moon, playlists, documentaries, I can't be the person you need me to be right now, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, intimate, love letters, my heart beats so fast whenever I see you

▎There will be a special N/SFW version to be posted on Saturday in my adults-only blog. ASK/DM me this emoji (🍆) to be added to the taglist lmao

cards

This one! Why am I getting that your hq s/o's way of pursuing you is choosing you over the other "person". Hey! He will break up with his current s/o just because he finds himself uncannily drawn to you. NGL! You might not return his feelings at the onset or might hide your crush on him because he's taken but...I don't know he will choose you no matter how you hide your feelings for him.

There are two scenarios here:

ONE! Could be you're his best friend, whom he sees platonically, until he got a new boo and realized that he/she couldn't compare to you. He'll find himself searching for you in him/her. I know such he's such a dumbass but your hq s/o will break up with his current s/o after realizing how damn stupid he has been all this time.

TWO! He could be currently in a relationship until you. I don't see you flirting with him back or anything. It's just...it's him.

Common ground. He'll break-up with his current s/o for you. That's the most decent thing he can do and he knows it. I'm seeing that he got into this current relationship with someone else without the intention of being serious himself that's why he can break it off easily. I don't see him to be getting with his current s/o thinking about marriage and stuff. More of a fling, tbh.

But with you...Oh, hell, yes...with you! He wants to propose to you. You and him have the same amount of passion in your pursuits that's why you're the one whom he can see himself spending the rest of his life with. If you're resonating more with being his best friend. I can see that the passion you have in your dreams is the energy he can't find in anyone else that's when he knew he made a big mistake overlooking your presence.

It might not come across as very pleasing to you at first that's why he'll take his time to be best friends with you for the meantime until the time is right for the both of you to be together.

I can see him getting to know you better. This guy would send you memes and do goofy stuff just to see you smile and laugh. He'll take you on a lot of dates. I'm seeing adventurous type of dates like amusement parks, the beach and long drives. He would be such a cutie pie! 🥹 Your reading makes me all giggly and giddy. He'll make you feel the same way! I just know it. He'll be very cheesy that you wouldn't be able to wipe that silly ugly grin off your face around him. He'll be your partner in crime 🥷and I'll see you being each other's best friend even until your married life (if you want to get married)

harleys in hawaii - katy perry as it was - harry styles physical - dua lipa

lazy cuddles, best friends, you make feel like the luckiest person in the world, workout, I want to marry you one day, desserts, I was made to love you

▎There will be a special N/SFW version to be posted on Saturday in my adults-only blog. ASK/DM me this emoji (🍆) to be added to the taglist lmao

REBLOGS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED ♡ Please help me reach other viewers. Thank you so so much!

COLLECTIONS: Haikyuu ✧ DAYDREAM MUSEUM

🧁: @tetszume @0rodi0 @iwaplant @namjin2004 @amarinthe @kenmakai @musicshylover @chewiverse @bakugossanity @chewiverse @sugardaddyreo @tobuo @devilsukuna @@savantsoulfinders @hortensiyas @kenmaslov3r @alfi-ry @discountkiyoko @duhsies @cuddlysoftbear @hello0i @jahnvi-d @jovi-ayer @putmeinyourdeathnote @riniackerman @d1lfluvr @dayedreams @toshibaby @nao-cchi @tobibam @toshiswifey @icecappa @close222u @itsmeaudrieee @shrimpy109 @taurus852 @ebiharachan @xoxosweets1 @your-girl-mj @alexaizawa @kuroosexuall @adreamofleftoveromens

[dracocheesecake]

Today’s thoughts are spent on thinking about Kai and Oogway. Guy who probably really didn’t expect to make friends on a battlefield because it’s a battlefield but found a fast friend who could match him. Guy who rags on said fast friend to hide the affection he has for him because this is still war and he wants to push down those feelings as much as he can. And then the ambush happens. They are the only ones who make it out alive (or…I assume they’re the only ones who do? Because the alternative is there were others still alive that Kai could have helped and in a split second panic he chose Oogway over any survivors of their army. Chose Oogway over the duties and responsibilities he held as a warlord of China) and despite the inner thoughts of pushing down how much he cares about this person who has matched him in every way and become his equal, his balance in life, it jumps out of him instinctually.

Kai has lost everything but Oogway, and he’s on his way to losing him too. And probably for the first time in decades, he feels fear. And that fear isn’t even for himself. He only knows how to create death and suffering, not fix it, there is nothing he can do to salvage Oogway except desperately hope he can make it to someone who can do it for him. And sure, he does, but how powerless can it make someone like a respected, venerated warlord like him feel that he has to stand by and watch this healing happen? Death is the one thing Kai can’t protect the people he cares about from, this is the one thing he feels he can’t do. He can’t heal. He can only destroy.

And he takes that information, and the knowledge of Chi and uses it in what he thinks is the only way he’ll be able to: power and strength for himself. Because if he’s just powerful enough, with more strength than any number of forces could put in an ambush, he’ll never have to lose any of the people in his care again. He can’t protect the people he cares about with the strength he has now, he needs more. And if a few innocent lives need to be taken advantage of to do it? That’s the price of war anyways. There’s always a price, and Kai has always been prepared to pay it.

And then Kai not understanding why, of all people, Oogway is the one to tell him no. The same man who has been by his side for all the atrocities they’ve already committed, all the deaths of husbands, sons, daughters, wives, has decided to draw the line here. There is finally a way for him to overcome the weaknesses he has and protect everyone who matters to him- to protect Oogway himself and prevent this would be tragedy from ever happening again- and he’s just supposed to ignore it? He’s supposed to have empathy and care in his heart for strangers, or worse yet, enemies that he could use this against? The utter heartbreak in Kai’s mind of risking your career, honor, everything to keep this man protected and alive, only for him to turn around and essentially kill you for the act of trying to make sure the same man never meets this fate again.

And then centuries later, making your way back to the mortal realm and finding out your so called “brother in arms” erased you from history because he was so ashamed of your actions (and his, and yet he still gets to be honored and revered). I mean, hell, I’d try to destroy his memory too. They make for such a tragic pairing whether it’s romantic or platonic augh AUGH I LOVE TRAGEDYYY. (Sorry for the rambling but man-)

Never. Ever. Apologize for rambling about Kai and the intricate (and honestly quite unexplored) tragedy that is Kai and Oogway's relationship. You left an entire poetic ficlet in my inbox and I could not be happier because DANG this is practically spot on.

Just...imagine losing everything you could have to lose, and then almost losing the last two things you had left to lose (your sworn brother's life and potentially your own), and then lose him again- this time because (in Kai's view) he turns on you without reason. After everything you did for him, trying to save his life, trying to use this second chance you've miraculously been given to reclaim what you've lost and ensure you never lose it again- and he turns against you the first chance he gets. I could understand Kai's rage, there (of course he was still wrong but I can understand it). Maybe there's a deep sorrow there, too, buried under the rage, but you know we'll never see it.

They are absolutely tragic and it's a shame it's not talked about enough. 😔😭💔💔💔

[thatoneluckybee]

OKAY PROPAGANDA TIME! @yttd-enjoyerNo pressure for any of these lol, I added a lot because rambling and procrastination. I’m copy-pasting some descriptions from another post of mine. I was trying to look for some with good lore and magic systems, or that had great characters.

Cursed Princess Club: This one is adorable and hilarious. It’s a fantasy and comedy. The Pastel Kingdom has four children. The eldest, Maria, is 18, and so beautiful that forest animals follow her when she sings. The second oldest, Lorena, is 17, and so beautiful that flowers grow where she sleeps. The third child is prince Jamie, who is so beautiful that he is constantly GLOWING (literally.) And his twin sister, Gwendolyn, is the sweetest and perhaps most loved of all! The three sisters are happily engaged to the Plaid Princes. When Gwen meets her soon to be betrothed, though…. he finds her to be really, really, ugly. Gwen has to learn to love herself as she is with the help of a club for cursed princesses (and one prince who wants to change the club name desperately.) It’s hilarious. Someone swallows her fiance whole. Jamie can taste feelings through food and keeps accidentally violating HIPPA. Lorena beats the crap out of a bunch of clowns. Gwen keeps getting mistaken for an evil witch. There’s a really spoiled drunk llama named Laverne. Maria buys merch of her boyfriend’s fanclub. There’s an omniscient clam. It’s a glorious disaster. (Also that was what the screenshots I was losing my mind and spamming last night. I relate to the plaid guy on an eerie level. This one has INCREDIBLE character arcs and parallels and foreshadowing and details and AUGH)

Space Boy: This one is one of my all-time favorites, and I believe it deserves an award for it’s realistic character arcs and characters. I’d be convinced if you told me they were real people. Sci-Fi Romance. (A lot of romance. Not a particular favorite genre of mien it’s just like 70% of all Webtoons.) In the far future, humanity is exploring the furthest reaches of space using the freezing sleep thing (real thing, forgot name.) Amy lives happily on a mining colony in deep space, until her father loses his job, and she and her family are sent away from the colony, and everyone she knows, back to Earth, where she wakes up 30 years later (frozen sleep thing.) Amy is adjusting to life on Earth, the new technology, and trying to come to terms with the fact her best friend is now in her 40s and she’s missed it all in sleep. Amy’s identifying trait is synesthesia: to her, people have flavors to match their personalities! Well, everyone except a strange boy she meets a school, who refuses to speak to her, and doesn’t have a flavor, Oliver. Amy decides that she WILL find this kid’s flavor if it kills her, and manages to get herself roped in the most chaotic mystery involving ancient cults, alien artifacts, unsolved murders, a government conspiracy, and whether or not Oliver is actually who he says he is. It’s so sad but I love it so much and I want to send everyone to therapy. I don’t even like sci-fi usually so this was amazing for me.

Nomads: ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES. The concept is your stereotypical “there were five kingdoms after a war 100 years ago:” the Sun, Sea, Sand, Sky, and Snow kingdoms. To maintain the peace, traveling between the kingdoms is banned for average citizens. You may, however, choose to become a Nomad, and travel for a price: you can never have a permanent home. Lance of the Sea Kingdom REALLY doesn’t want to be a Nomad. However, his little brother Mikah goes missing, and Lance has to find him in one year (once Mikah turns 18 it’ll be impossible to find him.) It’s going well and dandy until some unfortunate circumstances result in him, his new traveling buddy Satra, and a magic talking cat-thing being mistakenly accused of kidnapping a prince. And now they’re wanted bounties. (This comic is HILARIOUS so many shenanigans and I love Satra so much.)

Castle Swimmer: Can’t reveal TOO much of this ‘cause spoilers but it’s a really really good story. It’s a fantasy romance too. In this society of “Mers” (merfolk), every kingdom has long awaited the day a mysterious, mythicaeing known as the Beacon arrives. He will grant each kingdom’s prophecy, be that granting them fortune or saving their lives. When the Beacon arrives, though, turns out he’s literally just some kid named Kappa who has no idea what he’s doing. Siren is the prince of the shark kingdom. They have a curse that will cause them to suffer and become covered in scars and eventually die. The only way they can break the curse is whenever the Beacon arrives—and Siren, as predicted, will kill him. The only problem is that Siren REALLY doesn’t want to be a murderer, and Kappa REALLY doesn’t want to die, and they both are pining HARD. 

Suitor Armor: This is a romantic fantasy but I like it because it doesn’t feel boiled down to JUST a “will they won’t they.” Fairies and humans have been at war for as long as anyone can remember, with heavy losses on both sides. A Lord rescues a child, a little girl named Lucia, to be his daughter, Kirsi’s, lady-in-waiting until Kirsi marries a nearby king. The only issue? Lucia is a fairy, and she and the Lord must hide that if she wants to live. After they’ve grown up, Kirsi and Lucia go to the nearby kingdom to prepare for the wedding, where Lucia meets their mage’s newest creation: an enchanted, sentient suit of armor named Modeus. And now we’re all aggressivley shipping a tin can with one of the coolest women ever. (And I LOVE the magic system in this… we don’t know everything yet, it’s being revealed as time progresses, but it’s amazing in my humble little opinion.)

Homesick: Recommending this one since you’ve read School Bus Graveyard! It’s almost a “sister series” in that the fanbases overlap lots and the creators have done collabs too! Disclaimer that it’s mature for a reason. It covers a lot of dark topics and is a HORROR FOR A REASON. School Bus Graveyard is incredibly dark, but it sort of eases you in to the terror while Homesick tosses you in like a flailing child. If you do choose to read it I can provide trigger warnings, though it may spoil some plotlines a bit. Rayne (my pfp!) wakes up on a rooftop with no memories at all and meets a boy named Samael, who quickly informs her that it’s the apocalypse. Cannibalistic creatures called murks roam the land, feeding on anything that makes eye contact. Rayne and Samael form a deal to survive, but things get really, REALLY messy when they encounter someone from Samael’s past and get wrapped up in something that might just be worse than the apocalypse. On top of it all, Rayne has noticed some strange things about herself, including terrible headaches that warn her of murks… (It’s so good I love it but good lord it gets dark. I really want to say more about it but the story doesn’t jump right into the main action or plot right away so I CAN’T WITHOUT SPOILING IT SOB.)

Okay limiting myself to six for now sheesh I typed a lot.

[strangesmallbard]

re: being jewish in goyische leftist circles, it’s also complex because of how many people were genuinely well-meaning. many wanted to learn about judaism and antisemitism + trusted me as a source of that knowledge. these were people i trusted. i shared/unpacked experiences with a friend who was white-passing bc we navigated white goyische spaces in similar ways. my former roommate (someone i consider my sister) once helped me grate potatoes for latkes because my osteoarthritis was acting up. this is not about the other former roommate who asked me, while we were both drunk, why i didn’t believe in jesus. (and even she was well meaning! lol. lmao, even). i don’t resent them; i resent me for distilling my people and culture into something palatable, even memeable. “judaism is about punching god behind a denny’s” etc.

they even encouraged me to be more open in activist spaces, but i knew they didn’t know what they were asking. because our circles didn’t discuss jewish issues, unless i brought them up. or unless the antisemitism was especially noticeable (to goyim). obviously i can’t really begrudge catholic goyim for not Knowing. but idk maybe i can? especially when Learning About Marginalized Groups was a concept we lived by. i literally took a sociology course called “Marginalized Groups in the US” and the only article about jews we read was “when jews became white people.” idk my point here yet actually!! but i wish i’d done something different nevertheless. these are people i love—who reached out to me after the tree of life shooting, but not after oct 7. it could mean nothing. i don’t want to check their social media feeds. AUGH.

[symbioticsimplicity]

This Idiot Has Seen Goncharov

So today marked the coalescence of the Goncharov Incident as I’ll be calling it, so I think it’s finally time to share.

For a bit of context, you need to know a little more about one of my co-workers. We’ll call him Zeke. First it’s important to note that despite being in his early thirties, Zeke doesn’t have any sort of social media accounts outside of a MySpace page. Dude has straight up been living like it’s still 2007. Zeke also has a fixation with my friend/roommate who also works with us. Zeke will hop onto whatever bandwagon this friend, who we’ll call Jesse, is on. But most importantly to this whole tableau, Zeke likes to tell tall tales, like no matter what you’re talking about, or what you’ve done, this guy has done it but bigger and crazier.

That alone would be annoying, but it wouldn’t be enough to push myself and Jesse to the level we’ve hit with him. For me, it’s the constant need to put other people down for ‘knowing less than he does’ despite the obviousness of his knowledge being a collection of poorly constructed lies. Like not only does he lie, but this dumbass doesn’t even bother to check into the things he lies about. Several times he’s tried to convince me of something in a subject I know everything about. He refuses to admit to being wrong and he won’t back down from anything he’s said, it’s infuriating.

For this, and quite a few other reasons transphobic cough cough augh, he’s been bothering Jesse and I for quite a while. Badly enough that the spite fueled wasp nest that lives in the back corner of my brain Morse coded a plan to me.

Goncharov.

What better way to trip up a ride or die compulsive liar than a piece of media well known for being entirely fictional?

The next day, when Zeke climbed into my car during our lunch hour, Jesse and I began talking about this old movie we’d recently watched. The two of us have known each other more than long enough to able to follow each other’s bullshit like second nature, we’ve played an assload of DND together. In ten minutes we’ve got the whole first arc talked out with a few of the “best scenes” highlighted. (Personal favorites being Andrey juggling guns “a la John Wick/Guns Akimbo” and Katya killing a man point blank after saying ‘Get Gonch’d bitch’ in a 1973 film.)

Zeke didn’t respond too much, just kind of nodded and ignored most of the convo since it wasn’t really about him. I didn’t really expect him to engage to start, he usually doesn’t, but we’d planned to keep this up for another couple days anyhow.

But like clockwork, the more Jesse talked about it, the more Zeke seemed to remember it. Enough that I jumped ahead a little and pulled up the faux movie poster to show him.

He squinted at it then nodded and said he’d definitely seen the movie before.

When I tell you I almost fucking screamed.

Of course he couldn’t remember many details because it had been so long since he’d seen it. To tell you the truth I’d checked out at that point, I was focused on not losing my shit, I have no fucking idea what he said.

While this was an entire meal served up on a silver platter, it would have been pretty easy to say he’d seen the poster somewhere despite not having socials. I want this man incinerated, not merely singed.

Which leads me to the events of the last couple days.

So Zeke came up to Jesse and I and told us he wanted to re-watch Goncharov and asked us if it’s on Netflix.

Jesse and I both said that it is, without hesitation.

Zeke went to look for it (at work, while we’re working no less, again I missed the rest of what he was saying here I was mentally biting him) and obviously found nothing. So he searched every other streaming platform he had, and Youtube, all once again coming up empty.

At this point, I was sure the jig is up. He was actually searching it now so obviously he’d find one of the search results letting him know Goncharov’s true nature. I’m fairly certain the first result for it on Google says that it’s fake.

Oh hoo hoo, no.

Zeke came to me to complain about not being able to find the movie and in a fit of clandestine fervor, I told him that we probably watched it on a pirating site.

It was beautiful, it was inspired, and it worked.

Zeke asked me for the site and I told him that I’d have to get it from our other roommate since she’s in charge of the tech in our house. Then I hauled ass to go find Jesse and spill the latest tea before Zeke could. 

Later on Jesse sent him the link to the site, and he told us he’d find it over the weekend.

Well today, friends, is Monday.

Most of today we spent too busy to go grill Zeke about whether or not he’s crossed over into the fucking Mandela timeline and managed to watch Goncharov. But ten minutes before close, while we’re waiting to go, suddenly Zeke perks up, and remembers that when he gets home, he has to finish watching the movie. He’d had trouble getting the site to work on his phone, but his Xbox had run it, and he’d started watching it, but had unfortunately fallen asleep before he’d finished.

Now. I am a calm man, I can keep a straight face if I need to. But hearing this fucking idiot tell me he’d started watching a fictitious movie made up by Tumblr.com of all places nearly sent me to the fucking Shadow Realm with the amount of effort it took not to crack.

He talked for a couple more minutes before fucking off to do something else, I have no idea again I wasn’t fucking listening, I was trying not to visibly cry from holding back laughter.

But then he left and like instinct, like the inevitable impact of atoms inside of the Hadron collider, Jesse and I turned to look at each other. I knew what Jesse would say, Jesse knew what I would say, and like fate, like destiny, like two people who had witnessed a man commit manslaughter against his own damn self, we spoke at once.

“This idiot has seen Goncharov.”

[friendly-books]

Dresden files Cold days live blog

Dresden files Cold days

“Mab, the Queen of Air and Darkness, Monarch of the Winter Court of the Sidhe, has  unique ideas on physical therapy.” pg. 11

Mab and therapy don’t go together

Time to look up what The Cat Sith is

I already love Cat Sith and Harry’s dynamic

“The last time I was at a supernatural shindig, I got poisoned and then everything there tried to kill me. So I burned the whole place to the ground” pg. 31 Bianca party Harry’s rap sheet with parties is terrible. Why do people keep inviting him to parties. It never ends well.

“Wait for instructions. Follow instructions.”

“I’m not good at either of those things” pg. 33 Ha

Harry’s birthday!

“She’d been, ah, vajazzled” pg. 50 Ha

I love Harry’s telling off of Maeve

“I’m never really comfortable with parties.” pg. 58  Yep and I predict that this party going as bad as well as all the others disaster)

Eldest Gruff!

Oh no Eirkling isn’t he still trying to kill Harry?

“You are such a fanboy, Dresden.” pg. 65 Yep and who wouldn’t fanboy over Santa?

“Not till after Halloween. Enough is enough, I’m drawing the line.” pg. 66 Ha

Alright something is up. No one is telling Harry anything

Cool that Eldest Gruff used his ears to indicate where Sarissa went

“Ask the Red Court about it. Oh wait” pg. 76 Ha I probably shouldn’t have laughed at that

“Build a man a fire and he’s warm for a day.” I said “But set a man on fire and he’s warm for the rest of his life.” pg. 77 Ha and nice Pratchett reference

“I had one advantage: I was used to competing out of my weight class.” pg. 89 Yep

Go Sarissa!

“Kill my daughter. Kill Maeve” pg. 103 What

“Wait. Your job is…You’re BFFs with Mab?” pg. 115 Ha

Toot toot!

“One day,” I told myself “one brave and magnificent day, I will actually be cool.” pg. 129 Ha and I think you’re cool Harry

Bob!

The Winter mantel sucks

“-but he’s still kind of a friend.”

Bob made a gagging sound. “Don’t get all sappy on me, Dresden.” pg. 141 Aw come on Bob I like Harry being sappy

“while Mab bestrobe me, her naked body strangling me, ranking my thoughts out through my eyes,”

“I shuddered and forced the memory away.” pg. 148 This is terrible please get therapy. If I say it enough times it’s bound to happen

“I know how to kill an immortal.” pg. 149 Oh boy

“It’s when the world of the dead is closest to the mortal world. Everyone-everything-standing in this world is mortal of Halloween.” pg. 152 Of course it’s on Harry’s birthday

“Is that going to happen to me?” pg. 156 Poor Harry you’re not going to turn out like Slate

I agree with Bob talk and trust your friends Harry

Go Toot Toot!

Molly!

“I swear, this stupid town. Why does every hideous supernatural thing that happens happened here? I’m gone for a few months and augh. Be right back. Grrsdll frrrsl rassle mrrrfl” pg. 196 Ha

“I looked around. It wasn’t home, but…it was in the in the right zip code. And it was maybe the single sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me.” pg. 197 Aw :)

Thomas!

“You. Moron

You idiot.” pg. 212 Yes Thomas call Harry out

“Yeah,” I said. “I missed you, too” pg. 215 Aw :)

“If your new boss wanted you on the island, wouldn’t she just have told you to go there?” Thomas asked

“Seems like,” I said. “Taking her orders is pretty much my job now.”

Molly snorted

“Maybe I’ll grow into it,” I said “You don’t know.”

Thomas snorted softly” pg. 221 Ha

“Upon completion, I had dubbed it the Whatsup Dock, and Thomas had chucked me twenty feet into the lake, thus proving his utter lack of appreciation for reference-oriented humor.

(And I’d thrown mine forty feet out with magic, once I got dry. Because come on, he’s my brother. It was the only thing to do.)” pg. 223 Ha

“My brother is…geosexual.” pg. 227 Ha

“I don’t know what these are.” pg. 232 What Bob doesn’t know?

So the original Merlin built Deamonreach and Eb has his old journals

“The guys in the White Council who didn’t like me were going to turn purple and start frothing at the mouth when they found out.” pg. 252 Oh yeah definitely some frothing

“No wonder my grandfather had looked stunned when he’d seen what I done with Deamonreach. Or maybe less “stunned” than “horrified” pg. 252 Yep

“IT BURSTS FORTH FROM YOUR SKULL.” pg. 254 Oh no also that’s kinda like Athena. Is Bonnie going to be born in this book?

I love that Deamonreach also calls Molly grasshopper

“He’s one of mine,” I said in a hard voice. “You hurt him and you can forget me helping you.” pg. 256 Yay glad Harry protects Bob

“LESSER BEINGS ONCE KNEW TO RESPECT THEIR ELDERS,” said Deamonreach

“I respect the crap out of you,” Bob complained. “You want my help, and I’m telling you how. Now turn me around.” pg. 258 Ha

“So Lara got in bed with Marcone?”

“She tried,” Thomas said, “but Marcone kept it purely business. That’s two men who have turned her down in the same century. She was annoyed.” pg. 286 This is glorious! I want Harry and Marcone to happen purely for how funny it would be. Imagine if it happened how embarrassing it would be for Lara. Two men who turned her down in the same cemetery get with each other. Hilarious

Fix! Is Fix and Harry going to fight?

“You uh, looked kinda cozy, man. With Mab. On the stone table.”

Sealing a contract like the one with Mab isn’t something you do with an impersonal handshake. I felt my cheeks heat up. “Oh. You saw that.”

“All of Faeire did,” Fix said.

“God that’s humiliating” pg. 296 I legit winced when I read this. Ouch it’s terrible. I hope Jim puts this in here to show that what happened to Harry was bad and Jim addresses it. 

I hope Harry talks to Murphy and see Maggie

“Wait a minute…We’re his flunkies.”

“You, maybe” Thomas said sneering. “I’m his thug. I’m way higher than a flunky.” pg. 324 Ha

Vadderrung!

“What do you need?” Vadderung asked

“Advice,” I said “Of the price is right”

“And what do you think a significant price be?

“Lucy charges a nickel”

“Ah,” Vadderung said. “But Lucy is a psychologist. You realize that you’ve just cast yourself as Charlie Brown.”

“Aurg” I said” pg. 318 Ha

“I will accept your offer of one favor-and-a nickel.”

“I told you. I don’t have a nickel.”

He nodded gravely. “What do you have?”

I rummaged in my pockets and came out with the jeweled cuff links from my tux. I showed them to him.

“Those aren’t a nickel” he said soberly. He leaned forward again as he had a moment before, and spoke slowly. “What do you have?”

I stared at him for a second. Then I said, “Friends.”

He sat back, his blue eye all but throwing off sparks, it was so bright.

“Thomas,” I called. “I need a nickel.”

“What?” Thomas asked “In cash?”

“Yeah”

Thomas reached into a pocket and produced a bunch of plastic cards. He fanned them out and showed them to me. “What about these?”

“Those aren’t a nickel,” I said

“Oh for goodness’ sake” Molly sighed. She reached into a pocket and produced what looked like a little old lady’s coin purse. Then she flicked a nickel toward me.

I caught it. “Thanks. You’re promoted to lackey.”

She rolled her eyes “Hail, Ming” pg. 320 Ha

“So if I go back in time and kill my grandfather, what happens?”

“He beats you senseless, I suspect” Vadderrung pg. 323 Ha and interesting that Vadderung knows that Ebenezar is Harry’s grandfather

“Birdbrains” pg. 326 Ha

Oh no Mac’s bar

“Thomas showed his teeth in a predatory grin. “I’m leaving bigger tips from now on.” pg. 336 Ha

“You will come with me”

“Isn’t that what Mab said. Harry?” Thomas quipped

I kept my hand shielded from Sharkface with my body and gave my brother the finger.

“Look, Spanky,” I said to Sharkface. “I’m a little bit busy to be tussling with every random  weirdo who is insecure about his junk. Otherwise I would just love to smash you with a beer bottle, kick you in the balls, throw you out through the salon doors, the whole bit. Why don’t you have your people contact my people, and we can do this maybe next week?”

“Next week is your self-deprecation awareness seminar,” Thomas said.

I snapped my fingers “What about the week after?”

“Apartment hunting”

“Bother,” I said. “Well, no one can say we didn’t try. See you later.” pg. 342 Ha

“You have no place in this watcher.” pg. 342 Oh interesting name for Mac

Very cool that Harry that punched Sharkface through his own fire

“Man, the yahoos I scrap with never seem to anticipate that tactic.” pg. 346 Ha

Outsiders come to play

“And you enjoy driving authority figures insane,” Thomas said

I shrugged “I watched The Duke of Hazzard at a formative age,” I said. “Of course I enjoy it.” pg. 357 Ha

“Victor Sells the Shadowman,” I whispered “Agent Denton and the Hexenwolves. Leonid Kravos the Nightmare. My first three major cases.”

“Yes” Lilly whispered “Each of them was tainted by the contagion. It destroyed them.”

I put my hand on the rail and leaned against it. “Fourth case. Aurora. A champion of peace and healing who set out to send the natural world into havoc.” pg. 373 Oh possession? And conspiracy? Since the first case!?

Why are we trusting Maeve?

“I want the throne.” pg. 381 I don’t buy Maeve never struck me as someone who wanted the throne. But the Fae can’t lie something is up and I’m suspicious. I need a bulletin board and red string go full conspiracy theory

Hmm I’m rereading this exchange. Lilly seems uncomfortable with telling the truth but Maeve doesn’t.

Okay the facts as we know them now

Mab wants Harry to kill Maeve

Lilly believes there’s a contagion that changes people

Lilly hasn’t examined Mab

Maeve has and claims Mabs infected

Outsiders are in this book

Harry isn’t infected

Could Maeve be infected and that’s why she can tell the truth? That would also explain why she wants to kill Mab. Could it have something to do with the Outsiders? I don’t have any strong evidence so it’s a bit tin foil hat theory so far.

Ace?! Why are you doing this?

Murphy!

“Be silent, mortal cow.” pg. 395 Rude

“Hey,” I said innocently. “Weren’t there seven of you guys a minute ago.” pg. 398

“Hey,” I said, in the same tone “Weren’t there six of you guys a minute ago.” pg. 399 Ha

Butters!

“Any kind of iron gets under my skin, it seems to disagree with the Winter Knight’s bundle of awesome. Takes the gumption right out of me.” pg. 407 Oh interesting I wonder what other Fae traits Harry has now?

“Isn’t she Catholic?” Thomas asked. “Don’t they have a guy?” pg. 412 Ha and Harry is scruffy homeless Jesus

“Wow seriously, PT?” Butters asked. “How long?”

“Eleven weeks” pg. 412 I would have loved to see actual PT and not Mab trying to kill Harry

“Check out Dr. Marcus Welby, MD, here?”

“I’d  have gone with Doogie Howser, maybe” I said

“Split the difference McCoy?” Thomas asked

“Perfect.”

“You’ve been shot!” Butters repeated, exasperated

Thomas shrugged “Well. A little” pg. 416 Ha

Aw no one trusts Harry :(

Whoa there Harry let’s calm down. That’s definitely the Winter Mantle influence

“Translate that from nerd to English, please.” pg. 434 Ha

“I didn’t add in the third reason not to contact the Council-when they found out about my relationship with Mab, the monarch of a sovereign and occasionally hostile supernatural nation, they would almost certainly panic and assume that I was a massive security risk. Which would, for a variety of reasons and to a variety of degrees, be an accurate assumption. And now that I thought about it, given how my, ah, induction had been psychically broadcast to all of Faerie, there was no chance whatsoever that the Council didn’t know.” pg. 436 Why would Harry be a security risk wouldn’t he be more of an ally for both? Wouldn’t he make the alliance stronger? Also that’s  creepy that the White Council knows about how Harry became the Winter Knight

“And my body abruptly went numb and useless from my stomach down.” pg. 442 Oh no

So how does the Winter mantle and Harry’s paralysis work? Does the mantle negate the paralysis but Harry still has it?

“Toots jaw just about dropped off of his head. “Wow” pg. 446 Ha

“Celery,” she replied promptly, “Cheese. Green tea. But mostly celery.”

“How random“ pg. 448 Ha

“Ebenezar, when he taught me, had been very serious about making sure I learned the proper names of things” pg. 452 More Harry and Ebenezar lore!

“Titania” pg. 454 Oh is this the best idea Harry? I’m pretty sure Titania still wants to kill you.

“You who slew my daughter,” Titania said quietly. “You dare summon me?” pg. 457 Oh no

“Boink and let boink, more or less.” pg. 461 Ha

What is this talk with Titania?

“Flashy entrances” pg. 464 Ha

“Hell’s bells. Elder Gruff had spoken to my behalf? I owed that guy a beer.” pg. 466 That’s nice that Elder Gruff

Nemesis sounds scary

Harry’s grave

“If working the spell from your own grave on Hallo-freaking-ween wasn’t deathly” pg. 472 Spooky

“Mother Winter, I summon thee” pg. 473 Harry again is this really a good idea?

Yay Harry used his Will and Soulfire. So cool that Harry breaks the art k of Will from Mother Winter

“She lost her walking stick” pg. 492 Mother Winter had a walking stick?

“Two-thirds of the Winter Court will be under its influence.” pg. 495 If Mab really was under the influence then I feel like we would see that. And Mab seems normal for Mab

“Holy…Outsiders? Mab’s fighting Outsiders?” pg. 503 Really? This also leads credibility to my theory because it Mab was controlled by Outsiders then wouldn’t see have let them in already and if Maeve is controlled she’ll need Mab died in order to become queen and let them in.

“To protect all of you from the Outsiders, mortal.”

“Then why does Titania have hers?” I asked

“To protect all of you from Mab.” pg. 506 Interesting

“Welcome, Warden Dresden, to the Outer Gates.” pg. 511 Cool

“They’re a…they’re supposed to be a metaphor.” pg. 512 Ha

“You are the help”

“We’re in trouble” pg. 519 Ha

“It had obviously been uncomfortable for them.” pg. 525 It was only uncomfortable for Lilly

Oh no Harry’s friends

“kittykittykittykitty!” pg. 536 Ha

Whoa there Harry that’s the Winter Mantle talking maybe calm down

Mouse!

I love Mouse and Harry’s interaction! Mouse is the goodiest boy

“Mouse thinks Andi should be locked in the garage at night, until she learns not to get abducted.” pg. 550 Ha

So I’ve been thinking about how Maeve is probably has the contagion. I wonder how she got it? It reminds me of an infection. So who infected Maeve? Did…did Lea infect Maeve? She was incased in ice for a while back in proven guilty. But then how did she get infected?

“Client had lost a kid or something to some half-assed wannabe warlock. He had cheesy dialogue and everything, was gonna sacrifice the kid with this big cheap, spiky knife.” pg. 553 Ha and a call back to Thomas’s story. Looks like there’s two canon warehouses in all of Chicago. The street wolf warehouse and now this warehouse. :)

“I hadn’t burned down a building in ages.” pg. 555 Ha

“Hell’s bells. That looked awesome.” pg. 558 Ha

“Goddammit!” I snarled “I just got played again! I am so sick and tired of this backstabby bullshit!” pg. 560 Poor Harry

“That was interesting. Why hadn’t Mac been tied up? Or if he had, how come there wasn’t a mark to show for it? Either way, that was odd.” pg. 561 Interesting

So cool that Harry created an iceberg that lifted the whole building out of the water! Harry’s so powerful

“Butters turned toward Molly with absolute murder in his eyes.” “I hate this” Butters said, his voice boiling with anger” pg. 572

Whoa there Butters and Molly how about everyone chill and check on everybody for injuries

Yeah Ace has good reason to hate Harry

“She was there when I cut her mother’s throat. I don’t know if she was conscious, if she saw…but what if she did? In my head, I’ve  run this scenario about a thousand times, and if she saw me and started screaming or crying” pg.585 Poor Harry poor Maggie :(

“You embezzled funds from the White Court to get me a present?” pg. 590 Ha

Molly got Harry a duster! :)

“The Wild Hunt is coming” pg. 595 Oh no

“I’d just put a bullet in the Erkling on Halloween night.” pg. 607 So cool

“Tonight we hunt Outsiders!” pg. 615 Yeah! Let’s go!

“You want me to drive into lake.”

“You have to admit,” I said “it isn’t the craziest thing I’ve ever asked you to do. It isn’t even the craziest thing I’ve asked you to do tonight.” pg. 617 Ha

“Wizard please” pg. 623 Ha

“planted a kiss right on the mouth.” pg. 624 Yes!

“And I laughed. As if some freak who had never loved enough to know loss could tell me  about pain.” pg. 631 Yep

“Thrice I bid you thee! By my name I command thee: Tell me who you are?” pg. 632 Yes go Harry!

“Go ahead! I shouted. “Go ahead and eat me! And then we’ll see if you’ve got the stomach to keep me down!” pg. 635 Yes let’s go!

The Erkling is so cool

“The real Cat Sith wouldn’t be having this conversation with me, ya know. He’d have killed me by now.” pg. 645 Yep that’s not Cat Sith

WAIT

WAIT A MINUTE

Maeve has to be the one behind all of this because Molly becomes the new winter lady. It just took me till chapter forty four and 80% of the way through the book to remember that Molly becomes the next Winter Lady oops

“Like she did when you infected Lea.” pg. 647 :0 I was right

“I love nights like this!” he bellowed “I love Halloween!” pg. 652 Well I’m glad someone is having fun because Harry sure isn’t

“We were cruising down the surface of Lake Michigan, and it was chock full of monastery goodness-and we had just left the Wild Hunt.” pg. 653 Oh no

“You are so hot right now.” pg. 654 Ha and yay

“Warden,” he said

“Asshat” I replied” pg. 665 Ha

“You’re trying to recruit me?”

“The offer is made,” the Walker said. “We always appreciate new talent.” pg. 665 Harry is drowning in job offers

“I’m no one’s puppet,” I said

The Walker actually barked out a short laugh. “At what point have you been any thing else?” pg. 665 Ouch poor Harry

“Stay there. You will not be molested.” pg. 665 Was that really the word choice you used?

“What else did I have?

I had friends.” pg. 666 Yay!

“Get rocked,” I said, and pulled the trigger.” pg. 670 Yes!

“And for the first time in a decade the Winter Knight and Summer Knight went to war.” pg. 686 Yooo

“I felt sick, like I was fighting a blind man.” pg. 691 Ouch

“Lilly” I said wearily. “Listen to me. We’ve both been set up by Maeve.” pg. 699 Yep

Poor Lilly

Harry’s putting the pieces together

“Fix looked at me, dirty, naked, shivering, burned, bruised, covered in soot and ash.

“Fuck,” he said” pg. 710 Ha

“My daughter is in town” I said in a whisper

He blinked “You have a…?” pg. 711 Harry told Fix about his daughter?! Why? How many people now know about Maggie?

Thomas!

Yes good mud plan everyone.

“My dress? You were wearing rhinestones. And nothing else!”

Maeve’s face contorted in rage. “They. Were. Diamonds.” pg. 733 Ha and Sarissa and Meave have to be sisters

“Hell’s bells you’re identical twins”

“Not identical twins” they both said at exactly the same time, at the exact same tone of outrage. They broke off to glare at each other.” pg. 734 Ha and they’re twins even better

“Where is her love? Where is her fury? Where is her anything?” pg. 737 Poor Maeve

“Mab! Mab! Mab! I summon thee!” pg. 739 Harry is just summoning all the fae

“Cease. This. Rudeness. At once.” pg. 741 Oh Mab is mad. I love that Harry called Maeve’s mom on her

LILY! Ahhhhh what just happened? Is Lilly ok? She’s gonna live right? Right? She can’t just die. Where did Meave get a gun? Was Lilly shot in the head? What about Fix? Who would be the next Summer Lady if Lilly dies? What’s happening??

“Fire flicked to life over the late Summer Lady”

“Directly to Sarissa” pg. 745 Poor Lilly poor Sarissa :(

“Sarissa wasn’t the only Faerie vessel on the hilltop. She was simply the one Meave had been meant to see.” pg. 748 Molly

This is how Molly becomes the Winter Lady?!? So much death why?

“Then I thumped back the hammer on the little gun and put the barrel against Mab’s forehead.” pg. 753 Harry what are you doing? It’s so cool though 

“As far as your career as a mentor goes, you grew into much the same image as DuMorne.” pg. 756 Mab did not just go there. Harry should punch Mab. I should punch Mab let me at her >:( hiss Harry and DuMorne are nothing alike

“Deamonreach,” I said. “If our guest pulls that trigger, take her below and keep her there.” pg. 758 So cool!

“The one given to her by the Red Court at Bianca’s masquerade. That was how the Leanansidle was tainted-and your godmother spread it to Maeve before I could set it right.”

“Oh” I said. I’d been at that party” pg. 761 That party! It’s been over a decade in universe and it still has repercussions. It started in book 3 and it’s now book 14. That’s 11 books! Did Bianca plan for this to happen when she gave Lea the athame? Did Bianca know? What was her plan? Like her plan has backfired on her.

First the vampire war

Second half turning Susan which led to the destruction of the Red Court

Third the gravestone gift helped Harry in Ghost story

Fourth the Athame definitely cause problems for the fae but Lea hit her revenge

Did Bianca know that the athame would taint Lea with the Outsiders?

“I was mortal once, you know” pg. 761 Oh interesting

“You meant me to have the Wild Hunt.” pg. 764 So cool

“His face seemed leaner, and for that instant I saw Vadderung’s wolfish features lurking inside Kringle’s.” pg. 764 Ohhhh

“Stared closing up the minute she was done.” pg. 767 Oh interesting so Mac definitely isn’t human

Ouch Murphy and Harry’s talk :(

“So goddammit, don’t you start taking the highway to Hell. Because I’m going to be right there with you. All the way.” pg. 773 Aw :)

“But I can’t help but think that Fix is going to hold you responsible for some of what happened last night.” pg. 775 Yeah :(

“And it’s got nothing to do with facing Molly’s parents?

“And it’s got nothing to do with facing Maggie” pg. 776 Thomas calls out Harry

“Thomas ignored me and gave me a rib-cracking hug.” pg. 777 Aw hugs :)

“There was a storm coming.” pg. 778 Spooky

Final thoughts

Such a good book. I liked the fights. I thought the book was funny. Answered questions and gave me more. Poor Mab, Meave, Sarissa, Lilly, and Molly. No Bi Harry moments. Hopefully there will be more in the next book. I’m glad Thomas is doing better and he and Harry reconciled. I would have liked to see more actual PT. Yes I’m that sort of weirdo :) I liked Cat Sith. I don’t like the Winter Mantle. No dad Harry moments :( Presumably Bonnie will be born in the next book. Can’t wait to meet her!