#Adrianne rich

[aschenblumen]

Anne Carson, La belleza del marido. Traducción de Adrianne Rich.

[pistachiopie]

writing an essay on comp het and reading online discourse as research lol but holy fuck this stuff makes me angry . this is the same discourse I saw on twitter when I was 13 and we're still having that now? lmao grow up....

[moonmoonthecrabking]

accidentally got onto video essays about comphet and i hate that i'm thinking about fucking fandom discourse

[elizaleclerc]

intertwined, sewn together 🌊

lando norris x reader

summary: fem reader & lando share a sweet day w friends on a yacht <3

song: not a lot, just forever by adrianne lenker

author’s note: love this sm my heart ugh!! fluff & cute summer vibes. kinda grumpy x sunshine ; allusions to a bad childhood <\3

word count: 1.8k

You reclined on the plush deck of the yacht, basking in the warm rays of the sun as they caressed your stomach. The smell of sunscreen and tanning oil lingered in the air, leaving a sticky sheen on your skin. You relished these lazy days on the yacht, surrounded by your friends Lily and Carmen who chatted animatedly next to you.

Lost in the pages of your book, you barely registered their conversation as you lay with one elbow propped on the ground and the other hand holding the book, using it as a shield against the bright sun. However, your peaceful reading was interrupted by the rowdy boys behind you. Alex, George, Charles, and Lando were engaged in a game of cornhole, their shouts and cheers growing louder with each round. Their competitive banter blended with the sound of the cornhole sacks hitting the wooden board, making it difficult for you to concentrate on your book.

With a deep sigh of frustration, you carefully placed the book down and turned to your friend Lily, who was sitting next to you on the deck of the yacht. The sound of raucous laughter and shouting from the boys had grown increasingly louder, making it difficult for anyone else to carry on a conversation.

"Could they be any louder?" Carmen asked, her voice barely audible over the noise.

You nodded in agreement, “I know right, it’s like they are the only ones on the damn yacht.” You turned over, and, now laying on your stomach, you propped yourself up on your elbows and watched the boys play.

Your eyes were immediately drawn to Lando, his intense focus on the game evident in the way his brow furrowed and his arms swung the sandbag with ease. You couldn't help but admire how effortlessly he moved, his muscles flexing with each throw. His fingers ran through his messy summer curls, adding to his charming and carefree appearance. He was perfect in every way, and just knowing he was yours made your heart soar with happiness.

Lily and Carmen resumed their conversation, still reclining on their backs. You found yourself growing quiet, a natural state for you. Your introverted nature preferred observing to actively participating in conversations.

As a child, this led to struggles in making friends. Some labeled you as mean, but the truth was that you simply had little patience for most individuals. Your shyness was often viewed as a weakness and your silence as threatening, but slowly you emerged from your shell. Childhood experiences had left you with deep scars, ones that most people could never imagine. For a long time, you kept these memories buried deep within, trying to forget they were real. But then Lando came into your life, and he helped unravel all the pieces of you that had been hidden away. He didn't run away or judge you; instead, he loved every part of you as if you were made just for him. And because of him, you met others who saw and appreciated the real you as well.

That’s why you loved these people on the yacht. Not just Lando, who you’ve been dating for three years now, but even his friends and their girlfriends. They were lively at times, but they could be calm and relaxing too, having real and deep conversations. When you started dating Lando, they welcomed you with open arms, and the group quickly felt like a newfound family, one that you desperately needed. 

Lando was sunshine personified. His deep, rich laugh was infectious, bringing out the same pure happiness in everyone around him, including you. You couldn't help but notice how his eyes would crinkle at the corners when he laughed so hard that tears formed in his eyes. And with his perfectly tanned skin and light brown hair, he looked as if he had been sent down from the Sun itself just for you to love and for him to love you back even more fiercely. His genuine empathy and understanding towards your struggles made it feel like he could see right into your soul, and his persistent effort to get to know you only further solidified your growing feelings for him.

The two of you truly seemed like opposites, but everyone around you saw how much love was between you and Lando. As you watched him play cornhole, a small smile spread on your lips. It was inevitable, Lando seemed to just have that effect on you. 

“Lando, looks like you’ve got an admirer,” Charles shouted to him as he must have caught you staring. Your face flushed, even more so with the sun beating down. Lando caught your eye, shooting you a wink. 

“Good, I’m on fire! Best game I’ve played yet.” Lando proudly proclaimed, which made you grin even more. 

Carmen turned on her stomach now to watch along with you. “George, baby, how are you doing?” She asked him. 

Lando was the one to respond though, “Oh, he’s playing like shit. You better take his place.” Everyone bursted out into laughs, everyone except George, who always got slightly offended at jokes made at his expense. 

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” George sighed with a wave of his hand. “Let’s play another game, I’ll beat you this time.” 

“That’s what you said five games ago,” Alex laughed, which caused the guys to break into another fit of chuckles.

You were enjoying watching them play, but as the sun beat down on your skin and sweat began to form on your brow, you knew it was time to take a break. Walking over to the cooler, you grabbed a cold bottle of water and some freshly cut strawberries. The icy liquid provided instant relief as it cascaded down your throat, while the juicy sweetness of the strawberries left a refreshing aftertaste. 

Feeling rejuvenated, you made your way to the edge of the yacht and settled into the welcoming shade. As you gazed out at the vast expanse of ocean before you, you couldn't help but feel a sense of tranquility wash over you. The rhythmic lapping of waves against the boat and the gentle breeze caressing your skin were soothing in a way that only being on the ocean could provide.

Lost in your thoughts, you reached for your book and lost yourself in its pages. The sound of laughter and splashing from your friends faded into the background as you immersed yourself in the fictional world within. Time seemed to pass quickly as you turned one page after another, until you noticed the sky beginning to change color. A soft orange glow now painted the horizon, signaling that sunset was near.

You moved from your spot on the yacht and went back out to see what everyone else was doing. Lando was laying out on a large sunbed, clearly exhausted from his hours of playing cornhole. As you looked around, all of the boys were laying out too. You couldn’t find Carmen or Lily, but you assumed they were still trying to soak up the last bit of sun they could for the day. 

“There’s my pretty girl,” Lando smiled as you approached him. You stood beside his sunbed as he kissed the top of your hand. “Where did you run off to?” 

“I went to read for a bit. It was kinda distracting earlier when you and the guys were playing.” You explained. He motioned for you to cuddle up next to him on the bed. As you tucked yourself by his side, he smirked. 

“Distracting because I was so good looking?” He bantered and you rolled your eyes. 

“No, because you guys were being so loud.” You joked and he faked a frown. You smiled, “But you’re also very good looking.” 

He tilted your chin up so he could kiss you softly, taking in every bit of you and the strawberry taste still on your lips. As you laid your head back on his chest, he ran his fingers through your hair, playing with it lazily. “I love you a lot you know”

You traced your fingers along his torso and grinned to yourself, “Yeah, I know.”

“Good. Just making sure you don’t forget it.” He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, his warm breath mingling with the soft breeze. As the sun began its descent towards the horizon, you both sat on the sunbed, watching the stunning display of colors in the sky. The vibrant oranges and deep blues blended together like a masterpiece, filling you with a sense of awe and wonder. Despite all the pain and suffering in the world, moments like this reminded you of the beauty and magic that still existed. You could feel the warmth of the cooling sun on your skin, leaving a subtle tan as it slowly made its way towards the horizon. The peacefulness of the moment was enough to lull you into a blissful sleep.

~

Charles propped himself up on his cushioned chair, and saw you asleep on Lando’s chest. “She knocked out, huh?” He smiled at Lando.

“Yeah, guess so. The sun makes her tired sometimes.” Lando replied in a low voice to try and not to wake you up. 

“You know, I never heard her say she loved you back earlier.” George remarked from the other side of Lando. 

“She doesn’t have to, I know she does.” Lando replied, which confused the guys. He saw their perplexed expressions. “You know it took her a long time to say it in the first place but…I’ve known her long enough to where I know it without her having to say it.” 

“I still don’t understand.” Alex piped up next to George. 

“I mean, cmon, what’s so hard to understand? You saw the way she watched me earlier. Her eyes said it all. And the other day when she peeled oranges for me without me asking? And yesterday, when we got home, she rambled to me about the book she was reading. You could just see the light and love in her eyes. She never used to be that way, not when I first met her.” Lando knew the other guys still might not get the full picture, but he remembered how you were before you guys started dating. He remembered how you would shut out the world and not let anyone in. He knew that you used to not express how much you liked things or even smile when you ate your favorite foods.

He knew you loved him, he knew it went without saying. You were his everything, and simply being nestled next to him, feeling the gentle rhythm of your breath against his side, was enough to make his heart swell with love. No amount of conversation could match the pure joy of watching you smile or hearing the sweet melody of your voice. The two of you were intertwined, sewn together as the perfect pair.          

[oceansxchild]

A PRETTY RICH GIRL, LOST IN ONE OF THE SAFEST, UPPERCLASS TOWNS IN THE COUNTRY.

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

nine people i’d like to get to know better

(thanks for tagging me @redwiccanrobin)

last song i listened to: come by adrianne lenker

favorite color: pink and black

currently watching: shameless (again, lol), weeds, the riches

sweet/savory/spicy?: sweet

relationship status: taken by my lovely girlfriend

current obsession: debbie gallagher. always

currently reading: the unabridged journals of sylvia plath

last thing i googled: emmy rossum the conners

tagging (no pressure): @yaraisthinking @holymurdock @echosluvr @astaraels @swiftfootedachilles @emmasmuse @ravdyluvr @lovekenney @aceyanaheim

[aestophobia]

@corbin-is-sleepy I did it.....

So a lot of my ideas aren't very specific, they're just random edits set to songs from the blitzstone playlist I made four years ago (I Hear a Symphony by Cody Fry, Paper Rings by Taylor Swift, She by Dodie, Stolen Dance by Milky Chance, and a lot more)

BUT I do have some more specific ones

I'm not very good at explaining why, so bare with me

so hold me

wrap me in love, fill up my cup

cause I'm hollow

LITERAL EMPTY CUP ANTHEM

like i can't even express how empty cup family this song is

but sometimes I feel

like I'm only a ghost, like I'm only a wall

and if you come around, honey, I'll probably just follow you home

this just feels really Hearth to me

oh I wish I was more than my skin and my bones

I've been arranging each of my movements

and all of my gestures trying to fool myself

Hearthstone being shamed for being deaf by his father perchance

I know that it ain't much, I know that it ain't cool

oh but you don't have to tell the other kids at school

my dad'll strike it rich, we'll be the big house on the block

someday I'm gonna be somebody people want

switching it up!!! this song is very very blitzen to me

if there's no one beside you

when your soul embarks

then I'll follow you into the dark

they would literally do anything for eachother uugghghs i love them sm

the moon will sing a song for me

I loved you like the sun

the blitzstone sun/moon dynamic is something that can be so personal actually

the fact that personality wise Hearthstone is the moon one and Blitzen is the sun one, but Hearth needs the sun to survive and Blitz needs the dark

I don't even have a specific lyric from this one it's all just so blitzstone

I can't break the cycle, am I just a fool?

falling down like dominoes, hit by family jewels

this part is Hearth

pass it down from kid to kid, the chain will never end

'less I decide to go to it will I see the end?

and this part is Blitz

I don't have any specific lyrics for this one either, they just care so much about each other

Hearth core, reminds me of "Daisies in the Shape of an Elf"

rate yourself and rake yourself, take all the courage you have left

and waste it on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head

BLITZEN BLITZEN BLITZENNN

all of this song reminds me of Blitz, but this part stands out to me

I also have already made two Blitzstone edits before and I kind of want to talk about them lol

the first one was to "Fire and the Flood" by Vance Joy (this was also the very first edit I made ever)

the big reason that this song reminds me of blitzstone is because the first time I read THoT, I was in a mall and that song was playing (right as I got to the Blitz being stabbed part)

but also the more I listen to it the more it feels actually blitzstone coded

the second one was to "Chemtrails Over the Country Club" by Lana Del Ray

this was actually a fairly recent edit and I really like how it turned out (even thought I don't like doing edits with fanart and still pictures)

I did it to the "you're in the wind, I'm in the water" part if you know what I'm talking about and I had Hearth as the wind because elfs are creatures of air and Blitz as the water part because of the shower scene

Long post omg but any excuse to talk about blitzstone

[end-coda]

songs that remind me of iasip characters:

dennis: anything (adrianne lenker), old man (neil young), i'm on fire (bruce springsteen), my body is a cage (arcade fire), poor little rich boy (regina spektor)

mac: linger (the cranberries), glory days (bruce springsteen), harness your hopes (pavement), mother (john lennon), beachboy (mccafferty), trees (mccafferty)

charlie: it's only sex (car seat headrest), all tomorrow's parties (velvet underground), kettering (the antlers), fourth of july (sufjan stevens), body terror song (ajj), small red boy (ajj)

dee: wasted summers (juju), prom queen (catie turner), you don't have to say you love me (dusty springfield), mother mother (the veronicas), i don't wanna be funny anymore (lucy dacus)

[billscheft]

Of course, the day after OJ dies, all I can think of are two jokes, neither written by me, and neither having to do with the murders. The first one, a Dave monologue closer, was written by Gabe Abelson. It was inspired when a photographer in Buffalo had uncovered hundreds of photos he took of OJ at Rich Stadium wearing the infamous Bruno Magli loafers. Dave's payoff, as I remember it: "And this is great. If you take all the photos, and just riffle the corner, it looks like OJ's doing the Macarena....." The second joke was written by Adrianne and done in her act as long as she could do it, which was not very long. There was an item on Page Six in the Post that OJ wheelman Al Cowlings had been spotted at Scores, "Where he got several lap dances and a horoscope reading...." Adrianne would then close her eyes and turn up her hands, like a psychic, and say, "You will be getting....an erection."

[rabbitechoes]

there was no shortage of excellent records this month. a couple that i'm sure will end up on my year-end list for sure. there were also a couple of real stinkers ... but the less said about those the better! but uhhhh still read my thoughts on them!! to check out my thoughts on some of the songs that dropped this month click here!!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

Bright Future - Adrianne Lenker

🥇 BEST ALBUM OF THE MONTH

◇ genres: contemporary folk, singer-songwriter

Adrianne Lenker has been one of the most prolific singer-songwriters for the better half of the last decade or so, but over the last 4 years especially it feels like she’s reached another level. Her 2020 solo record songs and the following Big Thief record Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe in You are two of the finest folk releases in recent memory. The latter being a big, double album made me a bit worried at first for whatever Lenker would do next, but after hearing the singles leading up to this album those worries went away. This quickly became one of my most anticipated albums of the year and I think that anticipation paid off wholeheartedly. Bright Future is such a brilliant album.

The opener, “Real House,” is an amazing and sparse piano-driven cut. The subtle arrangement puts the main focus on Lenker’s lyricism and it ranks up there as one of her most poignant pieces to date. The track is addressed to her mother and it has her recounting old childhood memories in a really beautiful way. “Sadness As a Gift” follows that and it picks things up musically. More layered instrumentation with Lenker’s 12-string guitar, a piano, and a violin, it all sounds so rich. I’ve absolutely adored this track ever since it dropped. Here she meditates on the end of a relationship with so much subtle complexity. I guess it’s a breakup song, but it feels above that. There’s no anger or vitriol, just that lingering bittersweet feeling. “Fool” is another change of pace as it’s a bit more jaunty. I enjoyed this song when I first heard it, but my love for it grew when I heard it on the record. It conjures up so many warm feelings musically, even though the lyrics tell a story of conflicted feelings. “No Machine” slows things down again and it’s another one of Lenker’s best. I’ve talked about the arrangements on the album a few times already, but I can’t stress enough how amazing these songs sound. Beyond the great lyricism, every song feels so warm, intimate, and spontaneous. Like they caught lightning in a bottle in the studio.

“Free Treasure” was the most recent single leading up to the album’s release and it’s great. It’s one of those songs that makes you want to go outside and appreciate the beauty of what’s around you. Perfect Spring song. “Vampire Empire” has become an infamous track in the Lenker/Big Thief canon. Big Thief released the studio version of the song a few months ago and fans were outraged as it differed from the early live version that became a fan favorite. Little did they know that the best version of the song was still to come. The version here accentuates how remarkable the song is. There’s a shakiness to Lenker’s vocals, but there’s also so much fire and conviction to it. The instrumentation matches that perfectly. “Evol” has some sort of clunky moments to it and the “words spelled backward” thing is a little corny, but the sentiment and the performances on the song make it more enjoyable. The ending chorus of the song gives me chills, I love how the violin and the piano fade out alongside Lenker’s final lines. “Already Lost” has that campfire feel that’s present throughout a lot of her work. There’s this air of sophistication to it, but also this “hey, come join us, you can shake the tambourine or something” kind of vibe to it. Many of the songs here feel so inviting, while also feeling so personal to Lenker. It strikes an interesting balance. “Donut Seam” features prominent guest vocals and it captures the feeling of knowing a relationship is almost over beautifully. The lyric “Don’t it seem like a good time for swimming, before all the water disappears?” has been stuck in my mind ever since the album’s release. The record ends with the first single, “Ruined,” which has Lenker leaning into an ambient direction and it’s so heart-wrenching but also gorgeous.   Bright Future feels like a victory lap in a lot of ways. Not exactly musically or lyrically, the album is quite mellow a lot of the time, but just with how fantastic this album is. Lenker isn’t slowing down or “falling off” anytime soon. The lyricism here is so layered, but also inviting. You can enjoy these songs on a less-focused listen, but these songs reward you for paying attention. They’re so fruitful. This album has firmly solidified Adrianne Lenker as one of the greatest songwriters of our generation.

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i won't let go of your hand - Adrianne Lenker

◇ genres: contemporary folk, singer-songwriter

A few weeks prior to Bright Future, Adrianne Lenker released this EP in order to raise funds for the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund. The songs here are very spontaneous, but filled with so much beauty. The instrumentation is a lot less fleshed out as on Bright Future, but it offers a more lo-fi experience. Her writing shines regardless. It's definitely worth a listen both for the quality of the music as well as for the cause. You can buy the EP here on Adrianne Lenker's Bandcamp! 100% of the proceeds to go the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund! Free Palestine 🇵🇸 !!!!!

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The Collective - Kim Gordon

◇ genres: industrial hip hop, noise rock, experimental rock

Oh man, I was so excited for this record, and my excitement paid off big time. Noise rock pioneer and alternative rock icon Kim Gordon has been dropping some insane singles over the last few months. These singles have seen Gordon explore sounds like experimental hip hop, rage, trap, and witch house among others. I’m not super familiar with witch house, but I need to be after this record. Anyway, the shocking part is that Gordon is genuinely doing cool things with these sounds. Blending in her signature, nonchalant vocals while also adding in the noise rock and even the occasional no-wave touch. It’s crazy how well it works. I wrote about the first two singles, “BYE BYE” and “I’m a Man,” in my previous Month in Review posts, but they still blow me away even after multiple listens. The former has one of the craziest beats I’ve heard in the genre in a while and the latter reaffirms Kim Gordon’s cool factor all these years later. The lyrical content of these songs felt like a cathartic stream of consciousness, but Gordon’s vocals never oversell them. I was a little worried that the rest of The Collective wouldn’t be as good as those two singles, but those worries quickly went away when I heard the rest of the album

“BYE BYE” is the opener and it sets up the album so well, but my attention was quickly drawn to the track following it, “The Candy House.” The beat is reminiscent of a Memphis rap track and Gordon’s vocals sound like they’re inviting you somewhere sinister. “I Don’t Miss My Mind” has this almost overwhelming bass to it that is so off-putting. It’s like evil club music. “Trophies” has some of my favorite guitar parts from Gordon on the record. It sounds so washed-out and electric in the coolest way possible. The third single released for the album, “Psychedelic Orgasm,” is a song only Gordon could pull off. No one but her could sing the lyrics “passing all the kids, Tik Toking around” and make it work. The most abrasive track here is “The Believers” as it veers pretty heavily into industrial rock, while also including some elements of alternative club that you might’ve heard on a SOPHIE project. This album is a lot to take in, but multiple listens have made me fall in love with it further and further.

It’s refreshing to hear an icon in experimental music continue to push boundaries this deep into her career. Doubly so given how a lot of their contemporaries and/or the bands Gordon and Sonic Youth helped inspire sound like they are forever stuck in purgatory on their new releases. Needless to say, I’m loving this new record a lot.

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A Lonely Sinner - samlrc

◇ genres: post-rock, shoegaze, ambient

I wasn’t aware of samlrc until a few weeks ago when I saw this album getting hyped up on Twitter. Unfortunately, I didn’t pay much mind to it and sort of forgot about it. However, in true annoying online music guy fashion, A Lonely Sinner really grabbed my attention when it reached number one on the RYM Top Albums of 2024 chart. I listened to it soon after and I’m so glad I did. A Lonely Sinner is a great record with an interesting and moving concept. She describes the record on her Bandcamp as “an album about a sheep experiencing love in its nature.” The album follows those themes both lyrically and sonically. It sounds carefully pieced together, using anything and everything to make something emotionally resonant. She corroborates this much also on her Bandcamp by listing some of the unorthodox items used to craft this album’s sound including “boxes, soda cans, [and] a violin bow.��� I love lo-fi albums like this with big ideas that are fully realized in creative ways. If there was a bigger budget, sure things might sound sleeker and more polished, but the charm an album can gain through that lower fidelity outweighs that by a lot.

The album’s sound is predominantly post-rock with little detours into shoegaze, ambient, and even some metal. It’s a very slow-burning album, but it’s post-rock, you better get ready for some atmosphere, buddy! The album opens with one of its more atmospheric moments, almost bordering on drone, with “Lamb Theme.” This is a great setup for the 12-minute “Philautia” which blew me away on my first listen. The shaky guitar strums eventually coincide with the pointed string samples before giving way to the first verses on the record. The writing across the record is relatively simple but very effective. There are no sprawling verses, usually just a few lines that cut deeply before returning the spotlight to the instrumentation. The third track, “Sinner,” leans heavily in the post-metal direction and it works perfectly, greatly accentuating the lyrical themes of the track. These themes of struggling with the labels and expectations put on you by ones other than yourself are handled in such an interesting way here. Using the metaphor of sheep and wolves. “Storge” features a sample from the English dub of the Japanese animated film Chirin no Suzu, which has the sheep saying that they want to be strong and become one of the wolves. That struggle with rejecting who you are in order to either fight back and/or assimilate against the ones who hurt you is a constant struggle for many queer people, myself included. I would imagine it resonates even more so with trans people in particular.

The album closes with “The Beauty of the Present Moment” which is a gorgeous, string-laden cut and an uplifting way to close the album. A Lonely Sinner resonates with me more and more each time I revisit it. There are so many details I failed to mention in this write-up like the Sufjan-esque “ooo’s” towards the middle of “Flowerfields” and the string quartet cover of Björk’s “Hyper-Ballad” on “For M.” This album really took me by surprise, go out of your way to check this one out.

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Y'Y - Amaro Freitas

◇ genres: post-minimalism, third stream

I’m always on the lookout for newer jazz because most of my jazz experience is from the pre-2000s, so when I saw this album getting a lot of positive buzz I decided to check it out. Brazilian jazz artist Amaro Freitas has crafted an amazing, fluid record filled with really interesting ideas that are incredibly realized. This album can sound haunting, beautiful, and even a bit anxious at times, but Freitas balances it all very well. His piano playing is so dynamic and matches each shift in sound almost perfectly. From the steady and sharp playing on “Gloriosa” to the ascending keys on the Steve Reich-esque “Sonho Ancestral,” Freitas can do it all.

The second track “Uiara (Encantada da água) - Vida e cura” is a gorgeous minimalist piece that features some pretty multi-layered piano parts. That minimalist sound is present throughout the first half of the record. Each song flows seamlessly into the next and it makes for a fun listening experience. It all feels like one connected piece with a fair bit of surprises throughout. One of these being the super harsh sound towards the later half of “Dança dos martelos” which was very unsuspected, but I love it. The second half is a bit “jazzier” and each piece stands on its own. The title track brings in some flute to accompany his piano and it’s a great touch. I also adored Jeff Parker’s subtle guitar parts throughout “Mar de Cirandeiras,” this is probably the track I’ve returned to the most. The nearly 10-minute closer, “Encantados,” is probably the most reminiscent of classic jazz, but Freitas still puts his own spin on it with his keys. There are also a lot more jazz instruments factored in and it just shows how no matter what Fretias’s keys will stand out. Y’Y is an amazing record and one I keep coming back to. This is one of the most exciting jazz/minimalist releases in recent memory. Even if you’re not a big fan of those genres, I would still encourage you to give this album a shot.

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Catching Chickens - Nourished by Time

◇ genres: bedroom pop, alternative r&b

I heard Nourished by Time’s debut studio album, Erotic Probiotic 2, late last year but I fell in love with it almost immediately. So much so that it reached number 13 on my Top Albums of 2023 list. In the last couple of months Marcus Brown, the man behind Nourished by Time, signed with the XL label and announced this new EP, Catching Chickens. The lead single “Hand On Me” has been in constant rotation for me. It leans more into the pop side of his sound but in the best ways possible. He’s so good at making infectious bangers. All of the songs here have this sort of dream-like haze over them which makes this album really immersive. The best example of this is probably the track “Poison-Soaked,” which mixes some post-punk flavor into his sound in such a cool way. It has one of the most memorable melodies I’ve heard all year, I’ve been humming it all around the house. The closer, “Romance In Me,” sounds like a more intimate and modern take on a big R&B hit from the late 70s, I love it so much. Brown’s vocals here strike that balance between subtle and grand that I raved about so much from his last project. Catching Chickens is such a well-crafted EP and a great label debut for one of the most promising artists in recent memory. I can’t wait for whatever he drops next, but this will be in my rotation for a while.

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The Great Bailout - Moor Mother

◇ genres: poetry, electroacoustic

My first introduction to musician and poet Camae Ayewa, better known by her stage name Moor Mother, was through her 2020 collab album with billy woods Brass. From there, I listened to 2022’s Jazz Codes. Both of those records were very good, but I was instantly drawn to Ayewa’s writing more than anything else. Her words are damning and they’re often delivered with this haunting tone that forces you to pay attention to them. No longer can you turn away from the atrocities of the past, when Ayewa is speaking, you listen. On no album of hers is that more apparent than The Great Bailout. Here she ditches hip hop in favor of more ambient and atmospheric production which makes this perhaps the most chilling record in her catalog. 

Ayewa’s focus on this record seems to be Britain’s apartheid rule over South Africa and how they exploited the people and resources there for their own gain. She also tackles how these events have manifested into generational trauma to this day. The opener “GUILTY” features weathered vocals from Lonnie Holley and ethereal vocals from Raia Was. The former had an incredible album last year which shook me to my core, Oh Me Oh My. Moor Mother also featured on that record so it’s nice to see them working together again. Ayewa’s poetry takes center stage throughout most of the song as she asks the chilling question “did you pay off the trauma?” These whispered, eerie backing vocals come in throughout the whole record which makes a lot of these songs feel absolutely arresting. Particularly on “ALL THE MONEY” which has Ayewa dressing down the “thieves disguised as explorers.” Pointing out the Crown Jewels and the items in the British Museum as some of the examples. It’s truly chilling stuff and shows how effective Ayewa can be as a writer. “COMPENSATED EMANCIPATION” switches things up a bit and hits you with an intense and disorienting wave of metallic synths which add even more weight to the words. Towards the later half of the album, I found myself still ensnared by Ayewa’s writing, but the arrangements started to make the album drag just a bit. The big exception being “LIVERPOOL WINS.”

The predominantly ambient style works on most of these songs, but it can also be a little tiring after a certain point and I found myself enjoying the more abrasive moments. Ayewa’s poetry is the main focus album though and on that front, she does an amazing job. I can’t say I’ll revisit this album often, but this is a very captivating project.

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I Got Heaven - Mannequin Pussy

◇ genres: indie rock, power pop, hardcore punk

Mannequin Pussy’s fourth studio album strikes a decent balance between razor-sharp indie rock and dreamy indie pop with occasional detours into hardcore punk. The album barrels past you pretty fast, for better and for worse. The title track kicks off the album with a bang. It features a blazing performance from vocalist and guitarist Marisa Dabice, as well as some provocative lyrics setting the scene for the album in a nice way. “Loud Bark” softens the sound just a bit, but it still has a considerable amount of edge to it. The chorus is so simple, but the way the band rises with it is really satisfying. The next few tracks are pretty standard indie rock, but they’re pretty good. Especially “Sometimes” which is just begging to be played on repeat on your local alternative station. I love how during the chorus the guitars get heavier and are joined by those hazy backing vocals. It creates such a cool dynamic.   The first half of the record is pretty great, but the second half has a handful of weaker moments that make the album feel a bit disjointed. Namely those detours into hardcore punk. “Ok? Ok! Ok? Ok!,” “Of Her,” and “Aching” aren’t bad, but a lot of them leave me feeling pretty neutral. Ironically, the songs with the less harsh sound have more bite to them. This is my first Mannequin Pussy album so maybe these tracks are some kind of callback to their earlier albums that I’m just not privy to. The second half does feature both “Softly” and the closer “Split Me Open” which are two of my favorites on the record, so it’s not like it’s a complete drop-off in quality, it’s just a bit disjointed. The sub-30-minute length adds to that disjointed feeling. Despite this, I Got Heaven is very much worth a listen. There’s a lot of great stuff here and I might dive into the band’s back catalog soon.

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Pinball - MIKE & Tony Seltzer

◇ genres: trap, east coast hip hop

Just a few months removed from the amazing Burning Desire, MIKE has teamed up with Tony Seltzer for a short, but fruitful album. Seltzer adds new dimensions to MIKE’s sound here. Taking a step away from the abstract to more trap and cloud rap production. He fits this sound very well. I love the subtle glitchiness of the opener “Two Door” and the jaunty beat of “Lethal Weapon.” The beats all over the album are amazing. They might shine more than MIKE, but it doesn’t really feel like MIKE is attempting to demand your attention here. This just felt like a project thrown together for fun, a bit of a breath of fresh air after the sprawling concept album that was his previous record. Some other highlights are “On God” (which features a guest verse from Earl Sweatshirt), “Underground Kingz,” and “R&B.” This obviously isn’t MIKE’s most grand and impressive album, but it is definitely a fun listen.

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COWBOY CARTER - Beyoncé

◇ genres: country pop, contemporary country

Beyoncé’s last record, RENAISSANCE, was not only one of my favorite albums of that year, but it’s easily one of her best. An incredible celebration and reclamation of dance music that had the kind of superstar quality very few can deliver quite like her. That record is the first part in a trilogy, COWBOY CARTER is the second. Beyoncé shocked audiences during the Super Bowl when she surprise dropped two singles that showed her diving into country music. “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” and “16 CARRIAGES” were decent, but they sort of gave me shaky expectations for the album on the whole. It was bold of her to shift her sound like this, but I was afraid it would end up being a step down from the previous. Well, it is. COWBOY CARTER is a bit too dense for its own good and not every track here is a home run, but it’s still a pretty good record on the whole.

The album opens with the bold country soul cut “AMERIICAN REQUIEM.” It features one of my favorite vocal performances of hers, but the arrangement and production leave a little bit to be desired. That’s a frequent issue across the record, but it’s usually not overwhelmingly detrimental. Regardless, this is a very strong opener. Then she does a cover of the classic Beatles track, “Blackbird,” which is just a bit unnecessary. The vocal arrangements are nice, but I feel like it’s a bit too grand for a song of its kind. She does another cover later on in the record of Dolly Parton’s “Jolene,” which sees Beyoncé rewrite the song in a more adversarial way. Again, a bit of a mixed result. The rewrites feel a bit too tryhard for my taste, but it still sticks out more than the “Blackbird” cover. I do enjoy the snippet of her cover of “I Fall to Pieces” on the track “SWEET ★ HONEY ★ BUCKIIN’,” I wouldn’t have minded a full cover of that on the record. Anyways, the covers don’t add much to the record, but the majority of this album is her original material. Most of it is quite good!

“PROTECTOR” is one of my favorites and it really shows how well she fares in that more intimate country sound. I often found myself zoning out during the more arena-ready tracks here, the real shining moments come from the more toned-down moments. I also loved the almost chamber-folk sound of “DAUGHTER.” It’s nice to hear her in this new, more intimate light. A massive exception to this is “BODYGUARD” which pumps up the energy to just the right level and blends the country and the disco sounds in such a cool way. One of my favorite tracks of the year for sure. The album shifts into a more hip hop/club direction on “SPAGHETII” and the aforementioned “SWEET ★ HONEY ★ BUCKIIN’” to unfortunately mixed results. Unsung country legend Linda Martell introduces the former by talking about how restricting genre labels can be, so I understand what the album is going for, but these are definitely two of the weaker tracks here. There’s a stretch towards the middle part of the album where she duets for a bit. The duets with Willie Jones and Miley Cyrus are highlights, but that Post Malone one does not belong here unfortunately. The later half of the record is a bit of a mixed bag as well, but “RIIVERDANCE” is amazing and honestly should’ve been one of the lead singles. Again, like “BODYGUARD,” it has the perfect energy level.   COWBOY CARTER is a bit of a difficult record. It has very lofty goals and it frequently achieves them, but not as much as I expected. It feels very start and stop for me. I’ll love one song and then be underwhelmed by the next, that cycle continues throughout the record. The little radio station interludes and the guest appearances from country legends like Willie Nelson and Dolly Parton are nice, but on an album that’s already stretching the runtime, they can be a bit of a pace-killer. Overall, this is a weaker record than RENAISSANCE, but it's a project I definitely respect a lot despite that.

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BLUE LIPS - ScHoolboy Q

◇ genres: west coast hip hop, hardcore hip hop

ScHoolboy Q has been on my radar for years now, mainly through his work on other albums I love. For whatever reason, I’ve never listened to a full-length project of his until BLUE LIPS. Because of that, I didn’t know what to expect. Luckily, this album is a solid collection of hard-hitting hip hop tracks with beats that can be both grimy and jazzy. ScHoolboy Q matches both of those sounds with his delivery very well. A great example of this is on the heavy second track, “Pop” with Rico Nasty. His delivery has an edge to it that matches the beat very well. The track after that, “THank god 4 me,” has some more melodic moments in between the bombastic beat switch in the middle, and again, he matches his delivery to fit the track.   The lead single “Blueslides” is an example of his forays into jazz rap on the album and it’s one of the best tracks here. It’s a really poignant track lyrically as he reflects on things like the loss of Mac Miller, his career, and his mental health. It feels like a confessional, an “I need to get this off my chest” kind of track. “Love Birds” is another one of my favorites here as it switches between experimental hip hop and R&B in a really cool way. “Cooties” has Q commenting on fatherhood as well as a scathing couple of bars on mass shootings in America. Unfortunately, the song feels like it ends before reaching its full potential. That’s the case for quite a few songs across the second half as well. Songs like “Nunu,” “Germany ‘86,” and “Time killers” have some good ideas, but end up not adding much to the album. There are still some bright spots here and there, especially “oHio” featuring Freddie Gibbs which might be my favorite track. I love Gibbs's verses here. On the whole, BLUE LIPS is a good album that could be even better if trimmed down here and there.

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Deeper Well - Kacey Musgraves

◇ genres: folk pop, singer-songwriter

Kacey Musgraves has made a name for herself over the last few years as one of the few country artists people who don’t listen to the genre feel comfortable admitting they enjoy. Her 2018 album, Golden Hour, was one of the most critically acclaimed country albums of the decade, and rightfully so. It was a shimmering collection of country tracks, calling upon some of the good aesthetics of the genre from years passed. The follow-up, Star-Crossed, was a bit disappointing, but this new album has Musgraves correcting course a bit. 

Deeper Well is an album all about love and healing. It’s considerably more stripped-back than her previous albums and it ends up simultaneously helping and hurting a lot of these songs. The opener “Cardinal” is one of the more polished-sounding tracks here and it’s a nice way to start the album. The title track is also brilliant and it sounds like a ray of light. It’s one of my favorite songs of hers. The song following, “Too Good to be True” is another bright spot. The album loses a bit of momentum from here on out though. It feels like this shift in sound prevents these songs from entering into that second gear. Often, the album is never bad, it’s just decent. Enjoyable enough. “Sway” is excellent though and a moment where she uses this sound to the best of her abilities. The same can be said about “The Architect” which has some of the most twang on the record. The only outright awful moment on the record is “Anime Eyes,” which is an ill-advised song full of clumsy ideas. I understand the sentiment, but she does not stick the landing on this at all and it sticks out like a sore thumb. Deeper Well is a pretty decent album with a handful of tracks I will be returning to often, but it’s not her strongest group of songs on the whole.

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eternal sunshine - Ariana Grande

◇ genres: contemporary r&b, pop

My poptimist era is far behind me at this point. I feel like it was beaten out of me partly due to the past few years of things like Morgan Wallen, Jack Harlow, and that fucking Glass Animals song ruling over the Billboard charts. However before that, in 2019 or so, I was a full-blown poptimist. My pretentious inhibitions be damned, let me be a gay teenager who likes pop music. Around that time, Ariana Grande was popping off like crazy following albums like Sweetener and thank u, next. Even as the years have gone by and I’ve changed as a person, I still regard those records as some of the strongest pop albums of the decade. Because of that, I’ve always been sort of optimistic about her music in particular. I was a little disappointed by Positions in 2020, but I just kind of viewed it as a stepping stone to a bigger album later on. Unfortunately, if eternal sunshine is that “big” album, I’m kind of disappointed.

There’s nothing offensively bad about this record, I just think it’s sort of uninteresting. I was expecting the album’s sound to follow the dance-pop/house flavor of the lead single “yes, and?”, but the album falls more in line with Grande’s previous efforts albeit a lot more subtle for the most part. It isn’t a broken formula, I was just looking for something fresh. The best tracks on the album are the ones that do shake up the formula a bit. “bye” is a sleek, catchy number that grabs your attention with Grande’s triumphant vocals. I also love that understated disco guitar, wish it was higher up in the mix. “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” has Grande paired up with some electropop production which is a nice change of pace that I would love to hear her explore further. While not really a drastic shift for her, I do enjoy “the boy is mine.” The beat on that track reminds me vaguely of a late 90s hip hop/R&B hit. There’s plenty of good stuff here, but not a lot that hits that next level for me. Admittedly, I am pretty out of the loop on whatever drama and gossip is surrounding this album. Maybe those who are deeply invested are way more into it than me and that’s cool. It also feels that Grande herself is using this album as a means of getting things off her chest regarding whatever situation is going on and that’s also cool.

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Bleachers - Bleachers

◇ genres: pop rock, indie pop, alt-pop

It’s impossible to not be at least somewhat aware of Jack Antonoff these days. His production credits have far outshined his other efforts as a member of fun. and even his band Bleachers. I was aware of Bleachers back in middle school through the Foster the People similar artists radio station. I didn’t have any premium music streaming subscription at the time, but I was really into that era of early 2010s indie pop, so I would use the free iTunes radio thing as a means to listen to all of my favorite bands (mainly when YouTube wasn’t available). That radio would constantly play the Bleachers song “Rollercoaster” and I didn’t like it. Every skip was precious and I would always use one to get past it. Looking back, it’s not that bad, and while I haven’t gone back to listen to that debut album in full, I did enjoy a decent amount of the previous Bleachers album from a few years back. I also enjoy a decent amount of this new record, but for every good moment, there are a ton of borderline sleep-inducing moments.

Antonoff’s production style on the Bleachers projects has this kind of faux-classic sound. Sometimes it works really well, like the first two songs for example, “I Am Right on Time” and “Modern Girl.” The latter is practically a Bruce Springsteen tribute song and it rules. “Jesus is Dead” is also a pretty great cut here and it’s basically Antonoff’s “Losing My Edge.” He even shouts out the DFA label so everything comes full circle! After that track is the where album starts to lose me a bit. The warbly effect on his vocals wears very thin and clashes awkwardly with the instrumentation. “Tiny Moves” sounds like it’s building up to some big payoff, but it never comes. “Hey Joe” is an ill-advised change of pace into folk. “Call Me After Midnight” is actually a GOOD change of pace and pretty easily my favorite song on the second half. It features writing credits from Kevin Abstract and others from the old BROCKHAMPTON camp so maybe it just has that sound I loved so much when I was in high school. It also removes that warbly effect on his voice! Bleachers isn’t a bad record and it showcases a lot of Antonoff’s strong suits, but it’s an album best listened to in the background. Massive props to the saxophones throughout though. Whenever they would come in, I locked in big time.

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Underdressed at the Symphony - Faye Webster

◇ genres: soft rock, singer-songwriter

I was looking forward to this new Faye Webster album. I really enjoyed Atlanta Millionaires Club and I Know I’m Funny haha, as well as the first single leading up to this album “But Not Kiss.” That single became one of my favorite songs of hers. I thought the production was excellent and the sound in general was an interesting change of pace from her previous albums. The next single “Lifetime" was also pretty good, but a lot more in line with what you would expect from Webster. Still not bad! Underdressed at the Symphony wasn’t announced until months later along with the single “Lego Ring” featuring rapper-turned-psychedelic-rocker Lil Yachty. A very shaky collaboration that sounds like it was fun for Webster and Yachty, but doesn’t offer the listener much of anything. Unfortunately, the majority of the album is like that.

This is easily Webster’s weakest release from a songwriting standpoint. These songs are so barebones and not in the “just chill out to it” kinda way. That direction can be easy to forgive if the rest of the song is interesting, like the aforementioned “But Not Kiss,” but most of these songs just feel like demos. “Wanna Quit All the Time” has some nice, soft lounge guitar, but Webster’s verses end so prematurely that it feels like it just isn’t finished. The rest of the song is padded out to a 4-and-a-half-minute runtime with a lackluster instrumental. The same is done on the opener, “Thinking About You,” and while it works a bit better it still just feels unnecessary. In some places on the album, Webster decides to put a subtle electronic effect on her vocals and it doesn’t fit. It can be heard on tracks like “Feeling Good Today” and “He Loves Me Yeah!” The title track is probably the second-best song here because it actually has memorable qualities. This is a pretty disappointing album, it’s not rotten bad, but it definitely could’ve used way more time in the oven.  ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Psykos - Yung Lean & Bladee

◇ genres: alternative rock, post-punk

So, I’m not super tapped into the drain gang stuff. I do enjoy a good bit of the Ecco2k stuff I’ve heard, but everything else I’ve checked out just hasn’t clicked with me. As for Yung Lean, I’m in a similar boat. This short collab album between Yung Lean and Bladee wasn’t a huge priority for me, but I saw buzz around it so I thought I would give it a go. Psykos has them moving away from their cloud rap sound into a more post-punk sound and it just doesn’t work very well. The majority of the songs here sound either too rigid or way too loose and sometimes that can be a little charming, but most of the time it makes it a tough listen for me. There are a handful of good songs here though. “Ghosts” and “Golden God” are standouts and feature good performances from the two. The beats on both of the songs aren’t remarkable or anything and the post-punk sound feels kind of like a pastiche more than anything, but I digress. “Hanging From The Bridge” is also good and I think it has the strongest writing across the whole project.

On one hand, Psykos is way too short and a bit clumsy to make a satisfying statement by the end, but on the other, if it was any longer I would probably like it even less. I plan on further familiarizing myself with both of their back catalogs in the future, even if I’m not super crazy about the stuff I’ve heard up to this point. Maybe when I revisit Psykos after that, I’ll understand what some of the hype is about.

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WORLD WIDE WHACK - Tierra Whack

◇ genres: pop rap, contemporary r&b, alt-pop

6 years after her quirky debut mixtape Whack World, Tierra Whack has finally released her debut album. Whack World was an interesting project made up of 1-minute songs filled to the brim with personality. The nature of how short the project was hampered some of the ideas, but the mixtape still showcased Whack’s abilities very well and made me excited about what she would do next. WORLD WIDE WHACK is definitely longer and more fleshed out, but maybe for the worse. Her writing still has that quirkiness to it with little bits of earnestness sprinkled in, but on the whole, it’s just so much weaker than I was expecting. The closest thing I can think to compare it to is that Cheekface album from a few months ago where everything was a joke, but the jokes just weren’t that funny. At least to me. 

Given how much longer this project is than the others that came before, we do get to see some new sides to Whack. She ventures away from hip hop and R&B occasionally to move in a more alt-pop direction, which I think she fits nicely in. She works well with all of these different sounds, but the writing is the weakest link here. The one-liners are just lazy, like in the opener “MOOD SWINGS” where Whack sings “I stand tall, Shaquille.” Like I understand the joke, but it just feels lazy. “CHANEL PIT” is a really fun cut, but even it isn’t free of weak writing. Whack will sometimes step away from the silliness to be a bit more serious like on tracks like “IMAGINARY FRIENDS” and  “DIFFICULT,” the former being my favorite track on the album as I believe it has her best writing across the whole project. These detours do give the album some more depth, but they can also make it feel a bit disjointed. Right after the latter, we get the irritating “SHOWER SONG” which is just about … singing in the shower. WORLD WIDE WHACK is an unfortunately disappointing debut album.

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Everything I Thought It Was - Justin Timberlake

◇ genres: contemporary r&b, pop

When the lead single for Everything I Thought It Was, “Selfish,” dropped back in January I knew this album would be something special. Not special in a good way, but special in the “oh this is going to be embarrassing” way. Timberlake’s performance had this desperation to it. He’s been seeing relatively middling chart success for things outside of the Trolls soundtracks, his years as one of the world’s biggest pop stars are numbered. He knows soon that his career will eventually shift into greatest hits tours, he’ll be seen as a nostalgia act. He’s planting the seeds for it too on this reflective new album. A cluttered mess of callbacks to the sound of years gone by mixed in with him trying hard to be contemporary. 

The opener “Memphis” sounds like a gentrified Drake song and the following track, “Fuckin’ Up The Disco,” has him failing to get his groove back over one of the most uninteresting beats I’ve heard in a while. Calvin Harris did some production on it and he’s produced good stuff, but it sounds like everyone phoned it in here. The best stuff on the album is, no surprise when Timberlake joins forces with longtime collaborator Timbaland. He brings out the best in him, but it still isn’t enough to save this album. “Technicolor” is the most fruitful track here, but it pails in comparison to his hits from decades previous. “My Favorite Drug” brings the disco groove back, but Timberlake just fails to capture the energy. “Paradise” is one of the more transparent attempts at nostalgia bait as it sees him teaming back up with *NSYNC. The song is nothing more than a “oh, I guess that’s neat.” Everything I Thought It Was is full of non-starters and lazy attempts to rekindle Timberlake’s star power after a string of disappointing years. It isn’t very good at all, but I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a little bit funny. Better luck next time, JT.

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Geidi Primes (Lo-Fi Nightcore Edition) - Grimes

◇ genres: nightcore, indietronica, ethereal wave

yeah, sorry, no.

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genre : sadboy - mgk & Trippie Redd

◇ genre: emo rap

Ok, who is falling for this shit? Colson “I wish 13/14/15 year old girls weren’t allowed to be hot so I wouldn’t feel like such a creeper when I look at them” Baker’s, better known as Machine Gun Kelly’s, pivot to the pop punk and emo scene was as embarrassing as his ventures in the hip hop world. Yet, he had his most commercial success as a result of it. He’s a poser in every genre he inhabits. Not to say pop punk is this sacred genre or anything, but it’s just so obvious he’s playing into the genre’s stereotypes to fill a niche. On this new EP, he drags Trippie Redd down with him, as he returns to the rap world with his newfound mysterious, drug-addicted vampire persona. 

Obviously, it sucks. Every song is filled with horrific melodies and dogshit lyricism. I genuinely believe, though I can’t prove it, that these songs were written using ChatGPT. There is no unique flavor to them at all. It’s just boring, clunky, schlock that should be a career killer for both artists involved. Machine Gun Kelly, who is 33 years of age, pathetically delivers the bars, “I hate that I grew up sad as a kid, then I grew up and got sadder again” on “no more.” I feel like that line sums up just how abysmal this project is. The only thing that would make this album any good was if it was a parody, but seeing as how they’re getting exclusive Hot Topic merch from this, I doubt they would want to break the illusion just yet.

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[anitosoul]

My Favorite Albums of 2020

9. Adrienne Lenker, songs/instrumentals

Favorite Tracks: zombie girl | come | not a lot, just forever

This album is really special to me because it’s tied to one of my favorite days of 2020. Amidst the chaos that was the global pandemic, the lead up to the 2020 election, and attempting to continue with life despite all of the external strife, I decided to have a “treat yourself” day alone in the Bronx. I had wanted to check out the Bronx Zoo and NY Botanical Garden since I moved to the city and always saved it thinking it could be a good idea for a date or something, but my solo day in the Bronx ultimately ended up being consolation for the (trying not to be pathetic) fact that I didn’t have anyone to go with. I couldn’t be more grateful, though, that I ended up spending it alone, as this album guided my journey and helped me reflect on a lot of my life and insecurities.

The day I decided to do my Bronx excursion ended up being rainy and dreary, immediately adding a wave of melancholic introspection (and slight disappointment) to my plans. I started off at the zoo and wasn’t really feeling it. It was just weird walking around a zoo alone as a 23 year old and seeing the animals just wasn’t as exciting as I’d remembered it being as a kid. After cutting my losses and walking over to the Botanical Garden, I was immediately more interested in the beautiful plant and flower arrangements throughout the grounds. I got a hot chocolate and walked around until I found a part of the botanical garden that was preserved and protected land, allowing visitors to experience what the area would look like without human development. I found a log and sat down, feeling overwhelmed from the day so far and relieved to take a load off. I remembered that songs had released a few days prior and started playing it from my headphones.

From the moment I put on the album, I was instantly put at ease, feeling a sense of relaxation and calm that I had been seeking all along. Adrianne Lenker recorded the album entirely analog directly to tape in a secluded cabin. In the liner notes, it mentions that the album features “Lenker’s vocals and her playing acoustic guitar, as well using a paint brush and the needles of a white pine tree as instruments. It also features recordings of the rain, the wind, the fire from a wood stove, the chimes on her front porch, the birds, and the insects of the forest.” songs/instrumentals are the ultimate expression of complexity in simplicity: despite the sparse instrumentation, Lenker delivers a rich, gorgeous project filled with deep musicality.

songs is an album drawing upon lived experience, but at its core is a representation of individual interpretation of solitude. In this write-up I don’t want to do the album injustice with some pretentious analysis of the meaning behind Lenker’s thoughtful and deeply personal lyrics; you can read Pitchfork reviews for that. I do want to write about some of the things I ruminated on in the rainy botanical garden forest based on one lyric from my favorite track, zombie girl:

oh, emptiness tell me ‘bout your nature maybe i’ve been getting you wrong i cover you with questions cover you with explanations cover you with music - Adrianne Lenker, “zombie girl”

As I walked through the forest, I thought a lot about what it means to be alone. I thought about the stigma I felt about being out in the world by myself: in so many ways it feels as if the world pushes those who are alone out of sight, as if activity can only be enjoyed with company. I always felt insecure about being alone, realizing the pangs of envy when I would see a couple in the park or through a restaurant window. I felt the pressures from all kinds of sources to fear loneliness, that as a young person I should be constantly seeking sex or a relationship and filling the rest of the time with a vibrant social life, that being single and dating is just a hurdle before finding some sense of security and settling down with someone forever. Ever since I could develop crushes, I found myself feeling an inexplicable longing for fulfillment from another person, but this year I’ve finally started to unpack that feeling. This was the first year I truly felt satisfied just being myself and spending time with myself: the space from work, school, and social life gave opportunity for reflection and connection to the environment, allowing me to realize that I feel just as alive sitting under a tree in the rain as I do moshing with friends at a music festival, that my own self-love can be as affirming as that of a partner.

I also thought about solitude in terms of family and how lucky I am to have the life I live. My parents were both born into poverty in the Philippines, which is basically the least privileged position to be born into in the world given the developing status of the Philippines. Recognizing the amount of struggle that was required from my parents, and all my ancestors long before them, to provide me with such an opportunistic life allowed me to view my situation in a different light. My solitude was powerful and gave me reflective space, but I was not alone: I’m bonded through a beautiful, rich culture that continues to thrive despite the impacts of colonization. The awakening of this ancient connection has spurred powerful healing and inspired a relationship with my heritage that I have never felt before.

By giving emptiness and nature its own space and not covering it with questions, explanations, or music, I’ve gained more wisdom than I’d ever thought possible. I considered the fact that the world is a living system in and of itself and it doesn’t have any expectations for us humans—we’re exploiting it, but it continues to nourish us and give us life. Trees don’t have to establish some elaborate rule system about how not to destroy each other like us humans do, they just exist and help each other. Hearing songs on that rainy forest day was the first step towards my 2021 resolution: be more like trees. Thinking about solitude and nature and the process of recording this album also spurred me to commit to building a sustainable off-grid cabin with my dad, something he’s always talked about and that we’re finally turning into a reality. Overall, this album became much larger than a musical body of work; it became a teacher, perfectly capturing my range of reflective thoughts and inspiring action. To me, this album is like looking at a plant—truly noticing the natural grace of its colors, shapes, and textures—and taking that appreciation a step further, planting a seed to inspire that beauty for others in the future.

[walker-extended-universe]

I don’t necessarily want or need more SPN people on Walker or Windy, but out of curiosity…

Jensen Ackles

Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Adrianna Palicki

Alexander Calvert

[Totally feel you anon but let's see what we have here]

Jensen Ackles

[I tried using a photo but tumblr refused to load all the ones I had and the last one crashed the ask so here]

Walker: Independence- Another member of the Davidson clan and he's not as agreeable as Tom

Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Walker: Independence- A rich man from the north looking to cash in on some cheap land following the Civil War

Adrianne Palicki

Walker- Cassie's ex girlfriend

Alexander Calvert

Walker- A rookie ranger who's desperate to prove himself to the best of the best

[energeticyoungster]

A child has nestled inside my chest

I listen to the soft sound of Adrianne Lenker’s voice over the speaker, singing about home, girlfriends, forevers. I close my eyes and my mind crafts a future behind my eyelids. A future where I sing her songs to a soft, small, sleepy child, tucked in bed, my weight dipping the mattress on its side.

I have never wanted children, for the simple and biggest reason that our world is too unkind. For the second biggest reason that I would crumble under the anxious fear of holding a fragile fragile thing in the crook of my arms, unable to put it down for a second to catch my breath, careful of my own voice so as to not startle. For the smaller reason that I think my life would stray too far from the vague want I have of freedom, peace, quiet. 

But in my dream, I sit next to my child, whether born from my flesh or more probably fostered from another not-quite-mother, and I sing modern lullabies to them from a time they didn’t live, a song they’ll remember later, when it’ll play in the kitchen and they’ll softly hum to themselves in something like nostalgic contentment; a known thing, melodies forever stuck in my head, coming from my parents and their parents before them, loud in the afternoon.

And despite all my reasons, I long for familial intimacy and passing-downs. Most of all, for a full life. I long to live old and healthy, to grow and grow and grow, find people I care deeply about and be deeply cared for in unspoken return. I yearn for it, filled with a deep eagerness constantly buzzing under my skin, wanting it so deeply, so unconsciously, like a badly kept secret, not mentioned to anyone else but myself in the quiet of the night, spoken softly against my pillow: I want a home, filled to the brim with signs and symbols of past loves, a big couch, a full fridge, the sunlight trickling through the lace kitchen curtains, the sound of a vinyl turning, a giggle, a good meal, a kiss on the cheeks of my aged parents, of my brother, of any other person kind enough to sit at the dinner table, the feel of soft carpet and hardwood, a cold nose nudging my calf, a hand petting short fur, the sound of a bird chirping.

A warm and safe space for my soul to glow, rich in love.

[avelinas-wor1d]

꩜ get to know me ꩜

My name's Avelina, I live in the south of the U.S. and have been in love with the southern gothic aesthetic for years.

My pronouns are SHE/HER

I'm an INFP 🗡

I'm an only child and want to go into film, writing, photography, and modeling.

I love Lana Del Rey, Adrianne Lenker, Ethel Cain, Weyes Blood, Fiona Apple, and a multitude of other female artists, especially in country and punk (riot grrrl). I also love Freaks and Geeks, Pen15, Juno, old hollywood musicals, Wes Anderson films, The Virgin Suicides (and other female manipulator type media) and Jersey Shore. I also love reading and writing - my favorite books are Jane Eyre and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I love Sylvia Plath and Flannery O'Connor. Writing about strange girls.

I value women, queer folk, the impoverished, the incarcerated, and all others who have been treated badly by the world. But my brain is so rotted I watch awful reality shows and rich influencers.

xx, that's all for now!

[caramariafilm]

The Man Who Fell in Love with the Sky - Writing

19th February - Pitchdeck meeting

We had a meeting today at Abbie’s flat with all the HOD’s to rehearse all the pitchdeck stuff and time ourselves to make sure we had enough time.

We also took photos here for the pitchdeck!

Here was my Writer/Production Designer Statement:

Having been specialising in production design for the last three years, I’ve been able to build a creative visual understanding towards filmmaking. Last semester was the first time I tried screenwriting, and I felt my writing lean towards the direction of surrealism as my primary influences for production design have also been under this tone. I am so excited to see this idea grow and I cannot wait to see how the rest of the crew bring this script to life!l

Here’s the synopsis I wrote:

Lost in the solitude of his existence, a young man named Arthur deliberately isolates himself from his girlfriend Lila, as he obsesses over his first true love - the sky. Prompted by Lila leaving him, Arthur begins to look for a new way to finally reach the sky, looking back on his childhood to see how his feelings of love grew with him. During his journey, Lila comes to Arthur's flat to confront him and offers her love again and a new start. As Arthur sways, a sudden storm shakes him into a profound realisation - that his heart is intertwined with the mysteries of the sky. The storm spurs Arthur to flee to a cliffside and reveal his invention; a pair of birdlike wings. Running off the cliffside, Arthur's end is left ambiguous.

Here is my Writer’s Statement:

Throughout my life, I have always had an interest in how feelings of love are depicted through film, and how our understanding of this evolves as we grow. My main inspiration for the story of ‘The Man Who Fell in Love with the Sky’ stem from these feelings surrounding the innocence and purity of love found in childhood stories. When I was younger, I found that love was predominantly portrayed as some sort of magical force attainable only through a traditional heroic journey, and, with my script, I wanted to explore the actual unattainable nature of such ideas. The protagonist - Arthur - clings onto this idealised notion of love that we are shown as children, and he therefore shields himself from any pain and disappointment from the rest of the world due to the sky’s elusive nature. He falls in love with something he cannot reach and isolates himself from the world, reflecting his feelings into the vastness of the sky, finding solace in its own emptiness.

Before starting this project, my screenwriting experience had been rather limited, however, throughout the past ten years of my life I have had a background in storytelling through songwriting. This film originally started off as a song, and I feel as though this provided me with a more unique perspective on the screenwriting process. I feel as though having previously written narrative through music honed in my ability to create vivid scenes and evoke emotion through imagery - my main inspiration for this being the musician Adrianne Lenker. I also believe this draws from my background in production design as I found myself naturally compelled to build a rich visual world for this script.

I wanted to make this film to try and show two different stories at the same time. On the one hand, I wanted to take two opposite forces and pull them together to try and capture an intimate and wholehearted love that only they can understand. On the other side of this film, there is an obsessive and trapped love story. I wanted to move between the ideas of realism and surrealism throughout my film, allowing the audience to decide what they believe is true and what is fiction.

[s4ccharine]

today was so good, new adrianne lenker and new olivia rodrigo, and joni back on spotify!? and yes its cold but i feel so joyous... friday is a rich moment in time