#Album of the Decade

[ethan-elliott]

someone come get them they’re listening to the album about relapsing in cycles you can’t break again-

[thatnarcissisticfeel]

I think that a lot of people without NPD have a really poor understanding of "narc supply" or the specific type of positive attention that pwNPD crave. Even the egotypicals who are allies, the ones denounce narc abuse and anti-NPD ableism, don't fully grasp it.

There's this false idea that NPDs like to be worshipped and showered with compliments all of the time, and I mean, yeah, most of us would eat that shit up, but I know that for myself and a lot of other pwNPD it's deeper and much more, I guess, personal?

I don't really know how to describe it, so I'll give an example: As a kid, no one really paid attention to my creative endeavors, my accomplishments, my feelings, etc. And if they DID pay attention, the attention was negative. I could always do better, I could always be smarter, stronger, etc. This came from peers and adults alike. So I developed a coping mechanism where I would tell myself that everyone else was wrong, that I'm actually the best person around, etc. I don't have to explain what disorder I ended up with as an adult as a result of all of that. :P

But anyway - the wound of constantly being ignored at best and insulted at worst is still there. You know how when you're in a group chat or a conversation with multiple people and no one ever pays attention to your comments, while paying attention to everyone else? Yeah, that shit hurts EVERYONE, but especially pwNPD. Even the smallest acknowledgment can be "narc supply."

You know how when you achieve something really cool and everyone ignores you - but the people who ignore you will be quick to praise OTHER people?

You know how when you post art/edits online and everyone ignores you - but the people who ignore you compliment someone else's post in the exact same thread?

You know how when you ask your friend to read your favorite book or listen to your favorite artist or whatever because of how much it means to you, and they never do it, but then they read/listen to everyone else's favorite thing at everyone else's recommendation, and how much it pisses you off? (Hurts even more if you have the SAME favorite book/artist and someone reads/listens to it at the other person's recommendation and not at yours.)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could go on and on. That shit would bother anyone, us narcissists aren't alone in being hurt by that, but my G-d, it impacts pwNPD in such a specific way.

But let me flip it around to the positive!

A narcissist doesn't necessarily get their "supply" from someone telling them that they're the coolest person in the world and that they're a god. (Though if you do want to say that to us we probably won't complain!) Sometimes they get their "supply" from something as simple as someone acknowledging their achievements, and giving specific praise on what the achievement was. ("It's so cool that you won a prize in the music recital. The song you played sounds like it was really difficult and I loved your stage presence.")

Being told, "Wow, you did such a great job on your artwork, I love the colors!" goes a very very long way for a narc, especially when said narc is used to being IGNORED for their art.

Hearing, "it's so cool that you like that book, I'll have to read it and tell you my thoughts!" can help a narcissist's interests feel acknowledged.

You might be reading this and thinking, "well, isn't it just basic human interaction to compliment your friends or try out their interests"? And, well, maybe it is, but the whole point of NPD is that most of us grew up without receiving that type of attention, so now we're very very desperate for it - and very, very, VERY sensitive to when it doesn't happen, or is even perceived to not have happened. Something as small as being talked over in a group chat can set us off, but something as small as a simple, "hey, it's so cool that you did this, I love it." can win us over.

And to be completely fair, most of the time us being "ignored" isn't completely intentional. Like, I get it, yeah, sometimes timing just doesn't work out for person A to read my favorite book at my own rec, but by the time person B is in their life, person A can read it, and it's not anything personal. Sometimes the content I make just isn't someone's ~style~ and they support me, they really do, they just don't know what to say. Sometimes someone forgets to respond, or doesn't get a notification when I send them something I made or tell them about something I did. (There is less excuse for being ignored in face-to-face/offline convos though.) But because of the trauma of us constantly being ignored as kids/teens, the smallest little thing hurts and as a result we seek and crave attention EVERYWHERE.

So now, to give in to narc stereotypes of begging for attention: If you're a person without NPD and you genuinely want to help the narcissists you have in your life, the second best thing you can do for us is checking in to make sure we're not overlooked. Try to be sure you're not ignoring us, and if we do something cool, try to compliment it, even if it's something you don't fully "understand." Ask us about what we've been up to lately, what we're proud of about ourselves, and agree with us that what we've done is pretty cool. I mean, you'd do that for any friend, right? It's really not all outlandish for a narc to want that.

(If you're curious what the FIRST best thing you can do for a narcissist is, it's giving us a million dollars unlearning your anti-NPD ableism and calling people out who use narcissist as an insult as a synonym for abuser. Even in "offline" spaces, even when we're not around, even doctors/therapists. Even "narc" abuse survivors.)

[that-butch-archivist]

"I have a thin stack of photographs from my fiftieth birthday party. This morning I've drawn them from a crumpled white envelope to look at them for the first time since that evening. I've delayed looking--the weight the pictures carry is heavy. That night there were flowers, candles, jazz, blues, and salsa, party favors that uncurled like snakes, and a huge sugary cake. My two beautiful grown sons and I and my beloved Leslie gathered with friends in an echoing room. There I usually sat at long tables in political meetings, shoulder to shoulder with others, listening, talking, our hands busy stuffing envelopes for our next demonstration. But that night the room was transformed with balloons, streamers, banners--and photographs everywhere. Leslie had set up tall cardboard stands with pictures documenting my "fifty years of love and struggle." At the center were pictures of me and my sons. [...] Them at seven and eight, sitting knee to knee on top of my VW bug--I am standing by the open car door, one hand turning nervously against the other. I'm about to drive the children back to their father, who wrested custody of them from me. He has had me declared an unfit mother, because I am a lesbian. In all the pictures of us together we are smiling. There are no snapshots of the moments of terrible pain--the images that flash through memory over and over, like a home movie of agony. [...] Perhaps every family album has these private pictures, the stories we try to guess at from a few hidden whispers and the grief-struck eyes above someone's smiling mouth. [...] This is the family album of one of the many of us who have been told that we are not fit to have a family, told that we can stay in the family only if we are quiet and invisible, told not to "flaunt" our life, not to make a scene. [...] One June day, in his teenage years, my oldest called to talk about a video he'd just seen on public television, a documentary about gay families. I said to him, "You know, I've never asked how you've felt about my being a lesbian, how you think it's affected you." And he said, "Your being a lesbian didn't affect me. What hurt me was not being able to have you with me." My story is but one of many, that of a woman who mothered her children almost in isolation for years. Who struggled to hold them as a family even though the law decreed that they could not enter her home if she shared it with another adult. Who strove to teach them connection to the forbidden others in her life, those who might give them a new kind of family, a different kind of world, where no people would lose their family because of hatred against how they love or the color of their skin, because of their despised femaleness or their poverty. [...] I unfold the creased envelope. The pictures from that birthday night show the four of us standing awkwardly together. One son smiles but looks down; the other frowns, turned inward. My smile is tense, Leslie's face is drawn and tired from a recent illness. Yet beyond that snapshot are moments when we are smiling. The four of us piling into a car later that night, crammed in with presents, cards, chrysanthemums, and cake, laughing giddily that we are like a clown car in the circus, like a party ready to burst out when a door opens, everything in hand that we need for another feast. [...] We have fought to claim our lives with each other despite years that we have been physically, forcibly, separated. Despite years of no words to explain to others what we are to each other. How--despite what law, custom, religion may say--we are heart of each others' hearts."

-- Excerpted from "Family Album," Minnie Bruce Pratt's foreword for Love Makes A Family: Portraits of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Parents and Their Families. (Emphasis in bold my own.)

Year of publication: 1999

[silly-cheese-rat]

I don't even go here

[lacesims]

The official wedding portraits of Mr. and Mrs. Vladislav Chekov, August 1890.

[anarchieroad]

TWOISM. (inspired by the boards of canada album of the same name)

[90sd0ll]

Nikki Sixx photographed playing live at the Moscow Music Peace festival at Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow, USSR, on August 13th, 1989 - 💋

📷; credit to Koh Hasebe/Shinko Music/Getty Images !

[allbornscreaming]

FONTAINES D.C. — Starburster Live on Later... with Jools Holland +

[alexturner2005]

i really don’t like this…….

on another note, hello?? there was supposed to be a film to accompany the car and they scrapped it?? [x]

[wartornrequiem]

MOTIONLESS IN WHITE ↳ 16TH SEPT. 2024 // 10 YEARS OF REINCARNATE

insp. [x] // infamous [x]

[dreamsofg0ld]

the great impersonator ⭐️ written by ashley, starring halsey

[todayinhiphophistory]

Today in Hip Hop History:

Gang Starr released the album Full Clip: Decade of Gang Starr July 13, 1999

[kickedin17]

10 years of blurryface. Ok yay

[oh-my-damn]

I hate seeing people say that Taylor shouldn't win album of the year for TTPD because she won it last year, or that artists can't release albums at the same time/year as her bc she "won't give others a chance"

If you're so concerned with Taylor beating you, then maybe just.... do better?

Why are we taking away from how amazing she is at her fucking job and making it a point that she is "selfish" for "blocking the charts" or doesn't deserve her awards???

She's blocking the charts and winning awards because she has a billion fans and because she is literally top of the game?? She is the greatest artist of the century???? And perhaps you should ask yourself WHY she has so many fans to begin with??? Maybe because she's INCREDIBLE?????? Do you really think all swifties are in some sort of conspiracy to back this woman up no matter what, but we don't think her music is literal art??? Get a grip.

And if you want to beat her, you have to put in the fucking work. Maybe, instead of putting her, her work and her fans down, you should try and LEARN from it.

Watch how hard working she is. Watch how she changes up genres on a whim, to stay relevant. Watch how she interacts with her fans. Then perhaps you'll be able to get on her level.

But if you don't match in those categories? If you instead watch her and say she's "overrated" or should "back off to give other people a chance", would any win you get from that not just be sub-par? It would not be rightfully earned. Because you would NOT be top of the game. You did not earn that title. You were handed that because she took a step back.

This woman put out an album that she wrote WHILE BEING ON THE BIGGEST TOUR OF THE CENTURY. THE HIGHEST GROSSING TOUR OF ALL TIME. SHE WROTE, SANG, PRODUCED AND PERFORMED AN ENTIRE ALBUM W H I L E ALREADY ON THE BIGGEST TOUR IN HISTORY.

Never forget how Reputation got ignored and overlooked at the Grammy's, and instead of throwing a fit, Taylor Alison Swift sat in her pajamas and stated to the world, "I just need to make a better album."

And she did. And then she did it again. And keeps doing so.

Learn from her.

[cloudsblush]

janet jackson - all for you (2001)