#Almost certainly doesn't exist here in the waking world but at least it does there!

[izzyspussy]

anyway so seasons 1-early 3 mickey is a pessimist with a dash of nihilist (miserable), and because of that ian looks like an optimist verging on idealist to him.

the fact of the matter is that ian is not an optimist and he certainly is not an idealist. he's a little naive, sure, but less than what would be appropriate for his age. he's also not a pessimist or a nihilist (either kind). or a realist or a pragmatist or any of those.

no, ian is quite simply. unfathomably stubborn. and that is all.

he'll get into west point. he's absolutely certain of this. why? because he fucking said so.

he'll have a real relationship with mickey. they are in love and they are going to be together. this is true. how does he know? because. he. fucking. said so.

he doesn't have hope. he doesn't want things. that's pussy shit. there are precisely three types of things in this world: things ian isn't interested in, things ian already has, and things ian will have. that is simply that!

(which is obviously its own very specific mindset and is at least as extreme as pure optimism and pure pessimism, and is almost certainly just another fun little factor when the force of his will alone is not enough to change the reality of an ongoing traumatic event that contributes to the somewhat early onset of his bipolar disorder. but that's tangential.)

now. once again, disclaimer, these characters cease to exist past early season 5 for me, so there's every chance this next bit is exclusive to MY mickey and ian. there's just no way to know ❤️

that said. ian matures into a nihilist (carefree) - and i would say he's here-ish already in season 4, but in a maladaptive way at that stage - and then eventually matures further into a nihilistic (carefree)-leaning pragmatist.

mickey on the other hand - after a period of having no particular mindset of this type of thing at all which in effect amounts to a months-to-a-year long panic attack where his every action is fueled by emotional desperation and he has no solid concept of his own wants, needs, values, or future beyond the ever-present but totally incoherent certainty that he can't live without ian but ian can and will leave him with ease for even the slightest infraction or failure that terrorizes him like a weasel terrorizes a hen in his every waking moment - um. what was i saying.

oh right. mickey on the other hand, after All That, matures first into a sort of quiet idealism (kind of a pendulum swing maybe, but not quite not also progress, iygiygi), and then. into a less naive version of the old ian's way lmao.

there is no "that's how things are/go" or "that's how the world works" or "life is/isn't fair" or any fundamental human nature or any purpose or lack thereof to life or possible and impossible or likely and unlikely or anything else along any of those lines. there are only two types of things in the world: things that don't matter and mickey's next achievement. and that's that, baby!

and then eventually, mick finishes out at a relatively stable and sustainable realist-leaning optimism, heavily informed by romanticism of the Certain Things Are Meant To Be kind. like, he wouldn't necessarily express that or think of it in those terms. and he doesn't think it's a common thing, in fact it's rare and special and he's very lucky, and even if something is like that it still doesn't mean you don't have to put the work in for it to go well and end up Right. and he doesn't believe in a higher power or in Fate quite as such or in the will of the universe or a cosmic balance or anything like that really.

it's just, you know. sometimes. every now and then. there's just this one little thing that will continuously keep trying to happen without any heed to sense or logic or the incredible odds against it. just something in particular that will forever and always find a way to happen.

like say. for example. there's this gay kid, right? and he gets in this fight and he wins and he's about to bring down a tire iron and ruin this other idiot's pretty face and - for no discernible reason whatsoever - he just... doesn't. and maybe he'll think about it half a dozen years later and wonder why. that one tiny little thing that changed his whole fucking life, why did he do that? what was the reason? and there just. isn't one.

and that's not even all. see, these two dumbasses have no idea the other one is gay too, but some-fucking-how they don't have to say a word or even make any opening moves to just Know they want each other. it's like they read each other's fucking minds, even though he knows, he remembers, he didn't sense anything from ian. but for Some Fucking Reason he just never for a second considered ian wouldn't want him, and ian was in perfect time with him. and maybe he'll think back and try to find an explanation for this part too. was there some body language he read? was there some look in ian's eyes? but the answer is no every time.

and then after that, these two gay kids just can't be kept apart. they just can't. and it's not just that they inexplicably can't resist each other either. every time they're separated they find each other again, no matter what. even when they're the ones to separate themselves, situation after coincidence after happenstance after necessity keeps putting them in each other's orbits. secrecy and jealous exes and gun violence and imprisonment and infidelity and a fucking pathological fear of intimacy and conversion therapy and genuine threat to their lives and marriage to someone else and permanent life-altering illness can't break them up. at least not for long.

and then. somehow. SOME fucking how! after all that, and with the absolutely shit chances that they ever even hooked up in the first place, they actually fucking make it? they don't just get to be together, they get to be happy??

so no, he doesn't believe in god or destiny or soulmates or whatever the fuck. but at the same time, i mean. what other explanation is there?

[sysig]

I got about 700 words into my Notes app and then decided, yeah actually I should probably write this down somewhere for realsies

[eluxcastar]

A child in the apocalypse.

FEATURES: rígr stafford

CW: mentions of blood, maybe a little graphic?? idk if you'd call it that, not proofread 💀 I wrote most of it half asleep, might be ooc

WC: 1.4k

NOTES: I was sleepy when I wrote this (_ _;)

I had this idea in the middle of the request for Rígr with a daughter (I said something like "wait that gives me an idea" (it was this) because there was apparently clarification necessary), but this one isn't necessarily a girl ❤️ I tried to base Rígr less off how he acts in the latest chapters and more like how one of the orphans might see him Idk this was a thought. I've been stalling posting this for hours 💀

in the wake of chaos, the world is quiet at last.

it's an eerily quiet place now, no more screaming, no more fire, only smoke and the lingering smell of blood, an encroaching rot.

it's enough to make you sick, and it almost did if not for the fact you were hidden away in a cramped little cupboard, you would've been sick on yourself or would've made an obvious spot on the floor. Still, it dizzies you, the nauseating feeling won't go away, and neither will the fear.

you wonder if the Director of the orphanage was still out there sprawled on the floor in a pool of her own blood.

she must have been, after all, someone was walking around outside. You can hear the footsteps, the one-sided conversation as only one voice spoke to the room, or maybe the Director? For all you know somebody else might be out there with then, but you certainly can't see that from where you sit.

your thoughts are clouded with paranoia, and it just won't go away. You think you know that voice from somewhere, and yet you also can't place where. Listening, waiting. It sounds as if they are making light conversation, as one usually would, which was unnerving to say the least. In the midst of everything, they had stopped for a friendly chat, a friendly chat...with a dead body.

you can decide that is not normal. Not now, not ever.

"I take it all of your children ran away as well? Or were they taken? None remain here, that's what matters."

you wonder to yourself. How loud does the cupboard door creak? Could you make it out quietly or crack the door open to see who was out there?

if you were too loud, what then?

you wonder if you could risk it. You wonder if a friend of the Director's would really hurt the children she had nurtured for what was years for you. You wonder who could be on the other side of that door.

truth be told, you never felt like getting hurt was what you were scared of. It was everything else around you, the crashes, the explosions, the alarms, the announcement, the news Vampires existed and were supposed to be protecting you from now on, the smoke that billowed from the windows of the building across the street, the Director spilling blood from every orifice before falling to the ground in a heap, the shattering of glass harsh in your ears even after you had locked yourself in a cupboard and vowed never to come out.

coming out wouldn't really be too awful, would it? Even if there was a Vampire out there, they were supposed to keep you safe.

"I wonder what the little ones thought. After all, you were aware weren't you?"

the slivers of light that come through the door draw you further out, the promise of something that will get you out of this hell right outside.

"I told you just earlier that I suspected it was—" there is a sudden stop as he must've noticed how one of the cupboards is seemingly opening itself. "Who is it that's hiding in there?"

you could hear it more clearly now, almost place it if not for the fact your brain isn't interested in remembering everyone you'd met who was both an adult and a man. You need more visual clues.

"Did all the commotion scare you?" he doesn't seem to want to hurt you, or even make you leave if you didn't feel safe enough, "You always were a little jumpy."

you think about it, hard, wondering who you're looking at. You can only managed to muster one name to your mind. A nice name, or at least a nice man. He gave you candy sometimes and brought you new toys to play with. Out of all the people you couldn't have possibly asked for someone better, no one you felt safer to crawl out of your little hidey hole to run up and hug so tightly it hurt your arms to keep holding on, even if you had only just missed hitting your head against the cupboard. "Mr Saitō! But how did you get here?"

"Be careful, you almost hurt yourself." he pats your hair back into place, "I came to see if any of you were still here. What were you doing hiding in there?"

although reluctantly, you ease up on holding onto him like he's your last lifeline, deciding you should probably not turn him off helping you. You let him go. "When those people came I was hiding in there," you point back to the cupboard you had crawled out of, the door still ajar and the cupboard itself strangely empty, "but they broke all the windows and I got too scared to come out. I think everyone else got taken away… I'm ok though!"

"I doubt they'll come back for you now." a part of that is reassuring, and yet the thought of never seeing any of your friends again upsets you. It's as if someone took a knife a dragged it through your little heart. "You didn't think that part through, did you now?"

you can only shake your head, knowing you hadn't, but you were glad now that you'd ended up finally talking to someone you knew, "Why are you talking to the Director?"

"I came to see if any of you were still here." again you receive that response, and you still aren't sure what he means by that, but accept it quietly. "She would know best."

"She won't talk back. She's dead don't you know?" you're sure he does know, but maybe he didn't? Why else would he talk to her like he was expecting responses? Or was that him wondering just like you?

"I know." he replies, "But it did lure you out, didn't it? Now you can answer all those questions of mine." he's making you feel silly now as he boops your nose, not to mention it's hard to keep talking to him when you would like to be anywhere but the orphanage which had been slowly filling with the most putrid scent you could imagine ever since everything happened.

all you can do now is lean into his hand, only half focused on doing much more than getting your hair out of your face, "Can we go outside first?"

"The air isn't much fresher outside. If you want to leave here, I know a place we can go where it's much safer." the offer sounds nice when you feel so sick, because maybe if it's safe that means nobody there is dead. This supposedly happened everywhere. Maybe the virus couldn't get to hate place.

you nod, holding your arms up for him. You might be too big to carry by now, but truth be told you're getting tired. It's late by now, you're too used to being in bed. You're not even sure where he's taking you or how far away it is.

he doesn't kick up a fuss, surprisingly, though settling you on his hip is awkward when you're not as small as you used to be. "We can always talk about it tomorrow. There's plenty of time."

your head leans against his shoulder, and it's nice, you feel safe there for the first time in a while. "It's ok. I can tell you now." You just have to think of his earlier questions, something about where everyone had gone. The Vampires? The other children? With the adults all dead, they came to collect the children to—

ah…wait.

you lift your head from his shoulder and look up at his face again, confused and maybe a little bit suspicious. It's definitely who you thought it was before, you've seen that face a bunch of times before, you're sure of that. You remember every time he's come back with whichever child he plucked out of the orphanage that day to let them pick out a bunch of candy to share with everyone, or when he's brought new children to the orphanage, even yourself at one point.

come to think of it, he was here earlier, wasn't he? You'd seen him out the window with the new boy that was introduced shortly after he got back in his car and left.

but…if everyone over the age of twelve was supposed to be dead, how were you talking to Mr Saitō?

[prodbionic]

Hindsight is 20/20

Summary: He should've seen it sooner. It's all too late now. (Just a little missing scene for season 2 finale)

Written for the "Lifted by the neck" prompt on my @badthingshappenbingo card

Fandom: Prodigal Son

Characters: Malcolm Bright, Martin Whitly, The Woodsman

Word Count: 1300 (one shot)

Read on AO3

Read under the cut

Previous prompt fills: 1

((This picks up at the scene of Deputy Crutchfield's death and ends with Malcolm waking up at the cabin.))

It's too late.

The dawning realization is too late.

Malcolm will blame it on a lot of factors.

How anxious and tired he was. In pain from the number Vivian did on him. The pain he was still trying to hide.

How in a hurry he was to crack this case.

Hurried to save Jeanine and apprehend the elusive Woodsman.

Hurried so he can finally call Gil and deliver The Surgeon to authorities.

Hurried to once again witness his father in the confinement of prison, and reacquaint himself with the feeling of security it brings him.

As the real Woodsman's blade rips through deputy Crutchfield's chest, the hindsight bias fills Malcolm with guilt.

He should've seen it sooner.

But it's all too late, now. Deputy Crutchfield is as good as dead.

He and Martin are sitting ducks, waiting their turn.

The figure in the creepy mask removes the blade from his victim's chest with a horrible squelching sound.

He marches leisurely in their direction and unceremoniously pushes the gurgling fallen official from his way.

Malcolm is almost hundred percent sure of his identity. For all the good that'll do him now.

The Woodsman lowers himself to extract a set of handcuffs from the -probably dead by now- deputy with his free hand, the other holding the rifle steady in their direction. Standing up, he removes another set of handcuffs from the back of his own belt.

Although he hasn't uttered a single word, the danger and threat are clear.

Clear in how confident his actions and his steps are. Almost ritualistic. The place is his own. His stage. He's not threatened one bit.

Silently, he beckons them to raise their hands. They do. Then he wiggles the handcuffs hanging from the fingers of his free hand with another signal that Malcolm interprets as they should extend their hands through the bars.

Malcolm shifts his eyes to look at Martin and finds him looking in return. They both move together as if pulled by the same thread, peeling off their backs from the wall and approaching the bars. It's when Malcolm starts to feel his hammering heart.

Was Martin looking to take his cue from Malcolm? Too bad, because the turmoil in the profiler's head hasn't settled on what the best course of action is. Not that they have a lot of options. The Woodsman is supposed to be The Surgeon's buddy. Martin's words could charm him, unlike Malcolm's words, most likely will enrage him. Malcolm can't risk it. Not with an innocent girl's life in the line of fire.

That's it!

The Woodsman's not going to shoot them. He could've done that already! He probably wants them back at the place where he normally does his killings. Also, one dead deputy is more than enough to deal with, inside the freaking police department for God's sake. Two more bodies would be close-calling it.

This is Malcolm's best chance to know where that place is. To save Jeanine's life.

And so Malcolm keeps his mouth shut as his hands are being cuffed outside of his cage, two bars separating them apart. Effectively fixating him in place. Helplessly watching Martin go through the same process.

It feels like rolling over and exposing his neck to the whims of a serial killer. It certainly wouldn't be the first time he's done it to achieve a purpose. Not even the first time this week alone.

Apprehension clutches his insides all the same. What now?

Malcolm and Martin watch as The Woodsman pulls a keychain from his pocket, takes his sweet time ruffling through the many keys there until he finds the one that unlocks the door holding them in.

He steps inside, goes directly towards Martin. His footfalls are heavy and menacing. Malcolm must be in a really poor state that mere footfalls are affecting him, driving his anxiety up the scale ladder.

It would be hard to believe that the sweet husband, Don Cooley, is The Woodsman if it weren't for the horrors Malcolm saw all his life, starting at 10 years old with his sweet father getting unmasked as a serial killer.

Don Cooley, face covered with his creepy mask, currently stands predatorial behind Malcolm's father.

Despite Martin's initially indignant protests, The Woodsman extends his arms around his prey's neck in a subduing chokehold. Indignant becomes fuming outrage. Becomes incomprehensible choked garble.

Malcolm is shouting too.

He planned to go along with the serial killer to his killing den but seeing his father fighting for his life triggered something in him.

Malcolm knows Don doesn't intend on killing Martin, at least not here. But still, he can't stand idle and watch him fight for his life.

All their efforts combined achieves nothing. Martin's energy is dwindling with the lack of air, consciousness fading, and body sagging in the killer's arms.

Until Malcolm finds he can reach the killer with his leg in a vicious kick to his side, dislodging him from behind Martin. The latter falls in a heap to the floor catching his breath in huge gulps of air, eyes fluttering open roaming around before they fall on Malcolm.

They don't get to exchange one word before the killer recovers quickly and gets up. Malcolm sees the first sign of animation from him, for daring to challenge him.

He takes one step back, the only one his restraints allow him. Malcolm hears an angered growl before a fistful of his hair is grabbed by the larger man's hand, eliciting a shocked pained gasp from him.

Anchored in his spot as he is, his neck gets craned so far back, his heart flutters in fear that the last thing he will see is that foul mask in his face before his neck gets broken like a twig.

All he's hearing is angered labored breathing in his ears, and distantly, Martin speaking, threatening.

He doesn't get the barest hint of a warning before he finds his head smashed against the metal bars.

Once. Twice —

His vision whites out. Then blacks out. Then flutters and flickers.

His ears are ringing a piercing whistle.

He's crumpled on the floor, doesn't remember falling.

He's just breathing,,,

Until that breath is violently arrested in his chest as a hand encircles his throat and squeezes.

He's being lifted up, up, until all his weight is hanging to his neck, the hand choking him lifts him up even after his feet lose contact with the floor.

He can't find his legs to alleviate some of his weight.

He can't breathe. He can't see.

He can't think beyond the terror of not breathing.

Only the furious yells of Martin seem to be penetrating the black, heavy blanket dimming his senses.

Until they, too, start to fade.

Another smash across his face is the last thing he feels before the world spins on its axis then it stops existing altogether.

•••

••

•

Flashes of sensation… of pain.

Consciousness trickles in, in sensations of pain. Everywhere.

His head is a raging headache, a pounding thud. Reverberating with his heartbeats.

His body is hanging, all its weight pulling on his shoulders and wrists. They're screaming in pain.

He feels the ground beneath his feet though, and that is about the only upside to this whole shitty situation.

Malcolm straightens his bent knees so he can relieve his shoulders and wrists from their misery and opens his eyes.

A hunting cabin in the woods.

Martin trussed up, just like Malcolm.

The last time both of them were in a cabin in the woods, the situation was worldly different.

The hunter is now the hunted, and Malcolm is collateral damage either way.

The profiler in him needs to wake up and focus because there's a real victim at stake here.

He finds his voice. "So this is where he'll do it?"

[themadauthorshatter]

Toppat!Charles Part 5!!

GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH TOPPAT!CHARLES!?

Thank you all so much for your patience with this one, like I said, I've been going through a lot in my personal life, though things are getting better. 

If you haven’t read the previous parts you can find them HERE: 

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

ENOUGH ABOUT ME! TIME FOR THE RECAP:

Henry has taken the CCC's offer, despite opposition from Galeforce, Ellie, and even Daddy Dearest Terrence Suave.

Meanwhile, Right has polished up Charles and set him up in an actual room for a change of pace.

Not really a headcanon this time but a MASSIVE, MASSIVE trigger warning for torture, violence, and a trauma truck load of angst; we're focusing more on Charles this part since he was more of a cameo in Part 4.

Got that? GREAT!

LET'S BEGIN!

Like before we pick up where Part 4 left off, but with Charles in his new room across from Right, who has taken his position at a desk chair and is calmly talking to Charles. If this were a movie, we would only hear the music score before getting a close up of Right saying something to Charles, who reacts by raising his eyebrows and widening his eyes.

"What?"

Right sighs as he rubs the non-cybernetic half of his head. "Do I got to repeat everything to everyone?" He recomposes himself and meets Charles once more, the pilot shaking his head as he curls his knees into his chest and holds his hands on either side of his head.

"No. No, no, no, nononono. I can't do that. You can't make me."

"So you'd rather go back to rotting in your cell?" Right asks as he raises an eyebrow. "I'm offering you the chance to have some form of freedom and you're willing to throw it away for your stupid government?"

Charles keeps his head down, but clenches a fist. "They'll get me out of here. Just wait and see."

Right grabs Charles's ankles and throws them down before grabbing his jaw, forcing his to look up. Thhe two are inches away from each other and Charles's instincts are telling him to run since fighting hasn't exactly worked out for him.

"Look at where you are and what's been happening. Any time the government tried sending a destroyer, it didn't work. You were left alone in that cell with nothing but your shadow on the wall to talk to. You have a chance to get out and not have to deal with that anymore. You're seriously going to turn it down because you think the government's coming to rescue you? Taking my offer would get you out a lot quicker. "

Charles only glares into Right's human eye before doing a very ungentlemanly and dumb thing by spitting in his eye. (Unsanitary as well, I might add. Really, Charles, get with the program!)

Right backs away slightly, though it's more like an angry flinch because he recoils and then freezes.

Charles, however, keeps his glare as his wipes his mouth off with his sleeve. "Never."

Right is still for a moment before backhanding Charles with his cybernetic hand, not enough to seriously injure him, i.e. a broken jaw or knocking him unconscious, but it does leave him seeing stars and in a good state of, 'that hurt a lot more than it should.'

Right stands back, takes out a handkerchief, wipes his face off, and then pockets said handkerchief before folding his hands behind his back.

"You'll come to your senses. If you can wait, so can I."

With that, Right leaves the room just as Charles picks himself up, rubbing his cheek.

"See you tomorrow, Charles."

As the door closes behind Right, Charles's face and the room's temperature drop.

Cut to Right, who is leaving the hall and going to that room we saw in the Free Man ending, that cafeteria- like room with the big window overlooking Earth.

JUMP TO THE NEXT "MORNING"

Charles is sound asleep in his bed when a pair of toppats come in. One stays by the door and the other wakes up Charles.

The pilot, due to being out-strengthed and delirious from sleep, is pulled out of his room and can barely keep up with the toppats as they drag him to a different room.

In Charles's perspective, the world is dark and he keeps drifting in and out of sleep. He eventually opens his eyes to see he's back in the jungle, by the crashed helicopter. Right is nowhere to be seen, but Charles does see someone else, someone that he ACTUALLY happy to see. As in he smiles and tears up.

"Henry?"

Henry stands still as he stares at a growingly flustered Charles, who races toward him.

"Henry! Man, are you a sight for sore eyes! You have no idea what these guys've done. C'mon, let's go-"

Just as Charles is about to hug Henry, he holds a hand and stops Charles in his tracks.

"Hen... Henry?"

Henry's face turns from blank to angry or annoyed and he shakes his head, backing away.

Charles tries to follow him, but he can't. When he looks, he sees his feet are sunken into the ground and panics.

"Henry! Help! I-I think I stepped in quicksand!"

Henry only backs away further, now glaring at Charles.

"HENRY, PLEASE! SAY SOMETHING!"

Henry finally approaches him and leans close to his his face.

Before he can say anything, Charles's breath catches and he quickly finds he can no longer breathe. 

Charles tries gasping and exhaling, but only blows bubbles out of his mouth. 

The jungle fades away into a very dim grey, almost falling. Henry falls away with it, much to Charles’s fear. 

The pilot tries reaching for Henry and is pulled away, seeing as Henry swims further away from him.

Charles gasps for real this time as he is pulled out of a tub of water and focuses his gaze on Right, who is standing over him with his arms folded behind his back. 

“Good morning. Sleep well?’” 

Charles tries to push himself away the tub only to find his hands are either tied or handcuffed behind his back, I’m noting an ‘either’ here because while I can see Right using handcuffs or restraints like the ones we see in the Free Man ending, to save on resources and because Charles is already pretty weak, he’d probably just use a rope.

The toppats that woke him up and dragged him here both hold his shoulders, one holding the back of his collar. 

Charles glares at Right and struggles against his bonds, but he stays quiet. 

Right sniffs and nods at the two holding Charles. “Give ‘im a wash.” 

The one holding his collar grips his hair, yanking it and making Charles follow his movement before dunking him back into the water. 

Right watches as Charles struggles both above and below the water, mildly impressed that he’s still strong enough to the point that the two toppats are having a hard time holding him under. If this were a movie or a game cutscene, the camera would hold on Right’s face, resolute and expressionless, and all we would here would be the score and Charles struggling. Right blinks and an icon appears on his cybernetic eye, a solid circle with a ring around it. 

A camera. 

After a while, Charles’s movements slow and nearly stop completely, bubbles leaving his mouth and nose. 

Right nods at the toppats pull him up.

If that first dunk didn’t wake up and alarm Charles, this certainly did. 

Charles gives one of those loud gasps and coughs up water as he catches his breath. 

Once his breathing goes at least to where he’s not huffing and puffing, he feels one of the toppats grip his hair again. He fights against him, but is ultimately pushed back into the water. 

The partner repeats itself for a while. 

Dunk his head in the water, wait for him to stop struggling, pull him out and wait for him to just about get his breathing normal, rinse and repeat. 

After maybe a half an hour of this, Right notices Charles has started shivering after his last dunk and is having a hard time getting his breathing even. 

“Enough. Get ‘ im to a medic.”

They do so, and Charles follows with barely any strength to keep up.

The next day isn't any better. 

The toppats are ordered to sit Charles in a chair, his hands on the rests, his head in a restraint, and his eyes held open with something like reverse clamps; if you’ve seen or read A Clockwork Orange, you’ll know what I’m talking about. 

Right takes a seat next to him, a medic on his other side to keep his eyes hydrated, and the two watch a simple movie. 

Just a nice, sit down, home cinema night 😁😊

JUST KIDDING! NO THEY DON’T! 

“You seem too confident your government’s gonna save you.” Right turns his head to the screen and folds one leg over the other. “Let me remind you what they’ve done to us.” 

Charles follows his gaze as the film begins. 

I’m guessing the Toppat Clan has been around for a while, based on how many paintings/pictures of the leaders we see in Completing the Mission, so there would be PLENTY of news footage of the government using any means necessary to arrest any toppats they can get their hands on. 

The film Charles watches is nothing short of horrifying. I won’t go into detail, but just know that it’s pretty disturbing. Like, psychologically messed up. 

Charles is forced to watch as members of the government, something HE WORKS FOR, arrest, torture, and execute Toppat Clan members in extremely violent ways. 

Right is quiet as he watches because he’s seen this tape on more than one occasion; he also watches as a reminder as to why he joined the toppats to begin with. 

Charles, however, isn’t exactly that. After watching a clip of seeing a government official gun down a group of new toppat recruits, he finally snaps. 

“STOP IT!” Charles cries as he struggles in his chair and restraint, much to the annoyance of the medic. “PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!” 

Right’s attention is now on the pilot as he continues screaming and crying, watching quietly as he takes note of his work. 

Charles screams as loudly as he can as the film keeps rolling, unable to look away as the government is practically used against him. 

Right uses this pattern for a LONG while. One day, Charles is physically tortured and the next he is shown more footage of the government hunting down toppats. 

This cycle is continued until, after maybe three months(it doesn’t seem like it’d be that long, BUT TRUST ME, IT CAN BE), when the toppats come for Charles, they find him standing, waiting for them. 

This time is different, though. 

Right is with them and approaches the empty eyed, silent Charles. 

“Learned your lesson?” 

Charles nods. 

Right holds out his hand, a smirk on his face. 

“Whaddaya say, kid? You want in?” 

CUT TO HENRY

Our multilived friend is lying in bed, having a very fitful sleep. I keep jumping to what we would see if we were watching a movie, but trust me on this, I think you'll really like this one.

In this dream, Henry stands in the middle of four mirrors, a different "ending" of him in the side mirrors and the ine behind him. In front of him is himself, on his left is the Toppat King ending of himself(I'm just calling him Toppat Henry), on his right is the Toppat Recruit endimg of himslef(Recruit Henry), and behind him is his Revenged self.

"You should've taken that offer," Toppat Haenry chides.

"Charles would've been safe, if you did," Recruit Henry adds with a shrug.

Henry hears his Revenged self cough behind him and hears his augmentations whirring. "We wouldn't be friends, if that happend."

"And that bothers you?" Toppat Henry laughs.

"Think about it," Recruit Henry says very smugly. "Since when have you needed friends?"

"Escaping the wall-"

"You got out alone before," Toppat Henry says with a tap to his hat.

Henry jumps when he hears glass shattering and turns to see his Revenged self has punched his mirror and cracked it.

"King, recruit, theif, it doesn't matter," he gurgles as blood oozes out if his mouth. "A toppat never keeps his word."

Revenged Henry hits hus mirror again and causes it to shatter, forcing our Henry to jump back and crash into his own mirror-

Henry wakes up and looks around his room, shaken and stirred. He checks his arm and back before sighing and hugging his knees to his chest.

"I hate when that happens."

Man, that was a psychedelic ending!

BUT THAT’S A WRAP ON TOPPAT!CHARLES PART 5!!!! 

This took a very, very, very, very, very, very, VEEEEERY long time, but here it is! 

Thank you all so much for your patience and following this series. I am having such a blast writing this, you have no idea. 

Thank you all for reading! Stay safe out there! And HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!🦃🦃🦃

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Somewhere Over The Swingset“

Written by: Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Julia Vickerman, Diego Molano

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

Swingsets! Rainbows! The worst GIF I have ever created!

…is that a rainbow? No, it can’t be. There’s not as many memes anymore, so they must be learning from previous mistakes, right?

A carny with rainbow eyes introduces a new swingset, and challenges all of the kids of Townsville to stay on it. At the first second, I already know what the twist is. I think having an overly happy fat guy introduce the swing is a good enough hint; we didn’t need the rainbow eyes. Not only that, but the swing’s seat is rainbow colored, and a rainbow also shows up in this introduction. There's foreshadowing, and then there's just giving it away.

Big Joey, the big kid that exchanged with Donny in Odd Bubbles Out, tries to conquer this challenge, but almost immediately flies off into the distance, causing a mushroom cloud. Because it was funny in Spongebob, so surely it must be funny here, right? It turns out, no kid can last more than 3 seconds on the swing, as we see a bunch of children lying on the ground. Maybe they should try not letting go? There must be someone who could figure that out, especially kids that have powers beyond any mere mortal.

The Powerpuff Girls show up, dressed up in fancy costumes. I think they’re trying to go for some sort of Siegfried and Roy effect, but all I’m seeing is a desperate plea to the toy makers. Yeah, I have a feeling all of this is for naught.

They walk up to the swing, because the director never realized how awkward that is, to a bunch of cheering fans. All of this gets interrupted by the Professor.

This seems to be a recurring spot for the Professor’s character: he’s going to tell them to do something, which they will do anyway, and he’s going to end up being right in the end. Blossom tells him that they do dangerous stuff all of the time, citation needed for the reboot, but the Professor is only okay with putting his “kids” in danger if it’s for the safety of Townsville, also citation needed for the reboot.

That rascally little green princess outright tells the Professor that they’re not showing off, they’re just showing that they can do something other people can’t. Like lifting buildings full of people and fighting giant monsters, but clearly being on a swing set is more impressive.

We get another Blossom stock image monologue, another reaccuring bit of joy. Her speech concludes that they want to inspire and show the power of “female determination”. Because the Powerpuff Girls are girls. The writers wanted people to know that. Oh, and they want to go on the Townsville Book of World Records. Makes me wonder; does the DC universe have a world record book? Do they have to disqualify Superman and The Flash from breaking every record in it? Thinking about that is more entertaining than this.

Needless to say, the Professor doesn’t budge. He urges them to promise not to go on the swing set. They promise…

Buttercup: …to wait until you fall asleep, then go down in swing set history.

Blossom: Got to hand it to you, Buttercup, it was sneaky for you to wait this long to finish that sentence till just now.

They send out a group text to all the kids, waking them up past their curfews, so that they can have an audience. I guess that’s required for that world record book. By the way, that book doesn't show up again, because it fufilled its purpose of being an excuse.

Even though the only challenge was stay on the swing, they decide to up the ante by swinging over the bar. Swinging over the bar is a physical impossibility for a human being to do by themselves. In fact, even with help, the Mythbusters couldn’t do it. Well, I guess that's why the Powerpuff Girls can do it and nobody else can.

The Professor shows up at the last second to try to stop them, but it’s too late. They go over the bar, and they seemingly disappear in an explosion.

They find themselves back in bed. They immediately assume they must have been knocked out after falling out of the swing. Sad that even the Powerpuff Girls know how easy they can get knocked out in this reboot. The Professor comes in, and he apparently took it very well!

Professor Utonium: Good morning, girls!

(laugh track)

Yes, a laugh track. An ironic laugh track, but a laugh track nonetheless. At least I can know what lines were supposed to be funny.

Not only is he not mad about the girls doing that dangerous stunt, he was impressed! They eventually get a call to the Mayor's office. Something is clearly not right; this is the reboot, we don't have time for actual emergencies!

It turns out, there isn't one. They go in and find a Mayor that is competent. He can open jars of pickles by himself! He wins Nobel Prizes! He even has assistants! Huh, I guess assistants can be "fitting to our messages" if they're generic and not strong independent women. Why did the Mayor need the Powerpuff Girls? Beats me.

He then cartwheels into a helicopter, because running would take more money away from the marketing would be less impressive. Honestly, even the Cheat would scoff at the animation for this television show. The Powerpuff Girls get another call, saying that they're needed back home!

Reboot Jojo and Reboot Fuzzy are there, but they're not tearing up the place. The villains are all good guys now, and are more interested in book clubs rather than causing crime! Insert long and unfunny scene about books.

If you haven’t noticed, this episode is a ripoff of Tough Love with dashes of Speed Demon, except done in reverse. Not just in the way everyone’s so positive and not hateful, and that this world is apparently a utopia, but also in the quality of the episode.

Well, maybe there’s one good scene. They see the Professor in a mirror, crying over his missing girls. It certainly sets the Twilight Zone tone of this episode. If only they could go all the way and have the Narrator play the role of Rod Serling.

Other than that, it's just wacky scenes that are wacky. Maybe if this episode started with a call to the Mayor's office to open a pickle jar and them beating up Reboot Jojo and Reboot Fuzzy, there could have been some contrast. Sure, I know the Mayor usually has trouble with pickle jars and that Reboot Fuzzy doesn't act like this, but how is anyone going to know from this slice-of-life non-superhero comedy?

The Powerpuff Girls instantly decide that this "perfect world" is too much for them, and go outside to find a way out. In episodes like this, there's usually some pondering about whether they should stay in this world, and that doesn't exist here. Whoever is doing this is doing a terrible job. Speaking of which...

After seeing the entirety of Townsville welcoming them to their new home, the rainbow swing set guy from the opening descends down from the heavens on the giant swing set. He talks about how this is the perfect place, and they can stay forever! He swings forward…

…and Allegro swings back, turning the world into a rainbow nightmare. If the traumatic flashbacks aren’t coming back, this is the villain from Painbow, the episode that proved to me that not only will this reboot not live up to the original, but not even live up to my lowest expectations. He's happy that all of that energy the Powerpuff Girls used to go over the bar revived him! Painbow II: Electric Buttercup Boo-a-Hoo.

The townspeople are wandering to them like zombies. I guess this is supposed to mirror the affection they were trying to get by going over the bar. Blossom laments that she shouldn’t beat up people they know. After the Mayor tries to eat her, just go with it, they decide it’s for the best. A fight scene? Maybe?

The girls beat up all of the Townspeople, who turn out to be Allegro’s party minions in disguise. Not in any clever disguise, but they just poof into their real forms when they get punched in the face. Of course, much like most of the violence in this show, it’s ruined by more Nike product placement!

At first, I thought it was the usual “gotta make it G for the toyset“ censorship, and it is, but I noticed a peculiarity when I made that GIF. I decided to cut out every frame of that dreadful hit flash, and…

…I realized the hit flashes didn’t cover anything, they’re just there. Sure, there isn’t a frame where Buttercup’s fist makes contact with Barry’s face, but the mind fills the blank. All the hit flash does is make the scene pause for a quarter of a second, distracting from the action and making it not as exciting as it should be.

Three paragraphs on this one little fight. I’m really delaying the inevitable.

Since Allegro is too busy partying, he’s not on the swingset anymore, and the girls plan to get on it to go back home. Blossom calls on the other girls to join in. Buttercup shows up immediately, but Bubbles is a too busy doing…

You know what, 🚚🚚🚚 this.

Remarks:

None.

Final Verdict:

Next episode, who cares.

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…

Nah, I won’t do that, but I really should have.

I could at least, with a very, very, very tiny sliver of honesty, say that the scene from Painbow could be defended. Blossom and Bubbles were hypnotized by the dancing lobsters, and Buttercup reacted with disgust. It was supposed to be gross. Here, Bubbles is just shaking her butt with a hippo out of her own volition, and it’s treated as another “oh, that silly Bubbles” joke.

It’s not funny, it doesn’t add to the plot, and it doesn’t really help Bubbles’ character. This scene could have been removed, and only one thing would have changed: this reboot would have one scene involving barely-out-of-kindergarten girls twerking instead of two.

There is no point in continuing, but I might as well say what happens at the end: They beat up Allegro while on the swing, he turns into a gummy bear again, and the Powerpuff Girls successfully return to their own universe. The Professor, while glad that they’re okay, still grounds them. Aren't your expectations subverted?

I would say if they took out that scene, they could have room for the hearts, but they didn’t really save the day here. They stayed up past their bedtime, too. Odd in this episode that rips off two episodes of the original, they couldn’t be further from the original’s tagline.

Remarks (for real this time):

Is the title accurate?: I guess they do go somewhere when they go over the swingset.

Better use for the title: A Wizard of Oz parody would have been better. A 12 minute still shot of a jar of mayonnaise would have been better, but still.

Fun fact: The Powerpuff Girls, the real ones, co-hosted an airing of Wizard of Oz on TCM back in 2002. They were big in the early 2000s.

Final Verdict:

It’s slightly better than Painbow in that it doesn’t have any tired memes, and there is some logic in this episode in that I don’t have to ask why the Powerpuff Girls aren’t affected by Allegro. Still, it’s not much of an improvement, and when you’re not much of an improvement over Painbow, that’s not even a mediocre sign. As it stands, the only alternate universe where this episode is good is the one where it doesn't exist.

Next, probably the falsest title of any episode of anything judging by the reboot. Yeah, even falser than “The Return of Slade.“

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