#Also people are complaining that if both teams have a ram the fight just lasts a long ass time because they just stand in front of eachother

[curechocolattymilk]

TES V OC Thingie

[Got tagged by @jessaryss​ ! ]

Pause your game! Wherever your OC is in their game currently, tell me about their story so far.

✧✧✧ General

Current Level: 56

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Name Meaning: Literally got it from a name generator lol. But lore wise it was a name gifted to them in honor of an Argonian who served beside Tei’s mother during the Great War

Pronouns: They/Them

Age: Early 30s where they are story wise???

Race(s): Argonian

Place of Origin: Hammerfell

Pick A Theme Song For Them: oof that's tough... From a Crowded Wound or maybe even Firstwake? If you really played around w personal interpretation/the lyrics that is haha

✧✧✧ Locations

Where Did You Begin Their Game?: Argonian Assemblage, Windhelm (Alternative Start)

Where Are They Currently In Your Game?: Whiterun

What Are They Doing There?: Just finished attending a party held in their honor (Post Blood of Kings)

Homes?: Breezehome, Proudspire, Lakeview & Autmnwatch

# of Locations Discovered?: 274

Dungeons Cleared: 104

Misc. Quests Completed: 87

Favorite Areas and/or Locations: Falkreath / Lakewview Manor. Both areas are where Tei heads off to in order to collect their thoughts/feel some sense of calm.

✧✧✧ Main Quest

Are They Dragonborn / Do They Know It At This Point?: Yes & yes

How Do They Feel About Being Dragonborn: It's...complicated, being thrust into the role of savior by gods of the Cult, which in turn are followed by the folk who see you lesser than them. Tei already has a dislike towards the Divines, this doesn't really help lol

Main Quests Completed: 21

Where Are They In The Main Story Line: Alduin's dead, currently trying to ignore the Civil War as long as they can before the Empire forces its hand into forcing them to join their ranks

Dragon Souls Absorbed: In total overall? 147. The amount currently stored in Tei? 45

Words of Power Learned: 64

Shouts Mastered: 21

Favorite Shout: Firebreath / Dragonrend

✧✧✧ Combat

Most Used Weapon(s): Daedric war axe OR Dragonbone battle axe. Tei technically has both on them at all times during adventuring, alongside a shield, so which they used depends on the situation/which they grab fastest.

Combat Style: Two/One-handed tank. Main tactic is to rush in, cause as much damage/chaos as possible to shake up the opponent, & clean up what the ranged attackers of the party (usually Rumarin, Inigo and/or Lucien) weren't able to deal with.

Armor Type / Level In It: HEAVY ARMOR BABYYYYY (Level 100 + 35 extra points via enchantments)

# of Training Sessions: 99 in-game, lore wise its a lot of self-teaching/keeping their skills learned from Hammerfell sharp. Some of these are magic but lore-wise this doesn't happen cus Tei is not a magic user, save for shouts. I just did those in-game for exp OR so I can help Lucien raise his magic skills :'D

Who Taught Them?: In-game?? Fuuuck so many npcs. Lore-wise? They learned this from their schooling in Hammerfell, going off the canon-lore that it's p much expected for everyone to have a grasp on combat & weaponry! Though they did learn a few things from Kaidan & Anum-La.

Favorite Enemy Type: Dragons! Despite the fact Tei does not have the best magic resistance, it's one hell of a challenge they love to meet.

Least Favorite Enemy Type: Automatons, because of a bad experience with them as a child. Also Undead, because they were raised not to disturb them & it just feels so wrong having to fight them/go into tombs.

People Killed: 945

Animals Killed: 749 (Hunterborn makes hunting fun lol)

Undead Killed: 766

Automatons Killed: 105

Daedra Killed: 136

✧✧✧ Magic

Favorite School(s): None, actually. Destruction is okay though....they guess

Most Used Spell(s): Firebreath or Dragon Aspect. Tei doesn't consider shouts spells though. It's totally different guys shut up they ain't no smelly mage gods

Spells Learned: 9 in-game, mainly due to the spells you're kinda forced to learn for some quests/the ones you automatically know

Items Enchanted: 19 (Tei technically doesn't enchant, and wont next playthrough for sure I wont give in this time >:[ )

College of Winterhold Quests Completed: 8

Where Are They At In The Questline?: Main quest is done bcus i dont like seeing unfinished quests in my journal lmao. Tei's involvement is completely different from canon though in my take. Moreso was hired as a guard for the expedition & was, unwillingly, dragged into the rest of the mess. Is not offered the Archmage position, that went straight to Tolfdir.

Opinions on Magical Guilds (Arcane University, Winterhold, Psijics, Synod, Radiant Dark, etc.): As they get older, they tolerate the guild & magic users more n more, BUT, Tei grew up in an environment that frowns upon the practice of magic, & it shows. They mainly mistrust necromancers/illusionists & still hold onto that belief that reliance on magic, especially for combat, is a weakness.

Bold words for someone with shit magic resistance.

✧✧✧ Crime

Current Gold: 10,640

How Did They Acquire Their Gold?: Odd jobs, selling a lot of the items they made/harvested from smithing & hunting (jewelers are their go-to hirers bcus Tei is great at getting things like ivory), Dwemer ruin diving (they refuse to loot the tombs), also yknow....being part of the Dark Brotherhood helps

Largest Bounty On Their Head: 11,240

For...?: Unfortunately they did not stand down when they were being falsely accused of murder in Markarth. First time Tei called down dragons (Sahrotaar, specifically, Tei managed to get command of Miraak's dragons post-Dragonborn) to absolutely smite some fools.

Current Bounty: None! They're good at not getting caught/threatening and/or bribing guards. :)

Locks Picked: 15 i think?

Jail Time: 1, Cidhna Mine

Jail Escapes: 1, teamed up w the Forsworn lol

Murders: 28

Assaults: 307....In their defense people keep getting in their way during dragon attacks

Items Stolen: 37, most of them from the nobles of Windhelm

Thieves Guild Quests Completed: N/A (wont be doing this storyline unless i cant find a mod that'll let me get the shouts locked behind it)

Dark Brotherhood Quests Completed: 20

Where Are They At In Those Questlines?: DB is completed main arc wise!

✧✧✧ Relationships

Relationship Status: Married to two lovely fellas

Current Companions: atm? none

Housecarls: Lydia & Rayya

Friends (outside of party): Zora Fair-Child, Inigo, Lucien, Anum-La, Morndas, Aela the Huntress, Nazir, Babette, Scouts-Many-Marshes, Isobel, Madesi

Children: Khash, Chases-Starlight, Ram-Ku. (going of where Tei is now - Otero & Mei come around later on in Tei's story!)

Romantic Interest(s): Kaidan & Rumarin.

Sexual Orientation:

GAY

✧✧✧ Religion

Pantheon: Yokudan, with a hint of Hircine worship in there

Patron Deity(ies): From the Yokudan pantheon: Tei mainly views HoonDing as their main patron, but also prays to/pays respect to Satakal.

They are also Hircine's champion.

Daedric Quests Completed: 3 (Hircine, Vile, Dagon - the last Tei didn't really help, moreso pissed off)

Aedric Quests Completed: 1 if you count the whole Alduin thing I guess?

How Devout Are They?: Tei is rather devout, esp to their Yokudan patrons, praying or making offerings daily. They aren't the type to really push it in your face though, but have no issues answering questions one might have.

How Do They Feel About Talos Worship?: Deep down they acknowledge & admit trying to ban worship is terrible, but....Tei also lets their bias/experience with Windhelm, the Stormcloaks & especially Ulfric kinda cloud over this. If the Nords want their old ways so damn much, why fight for a divine from the Imperial Cult? Why not go back to the actual old ways? No, this isn't about worship, not to the men leading this so-called rebellion, they just needed something other than their racist bullshit to fool the common man into throwing their lives away for the nobles sitting comfortable in their thrones.

Also during their whole thing of getting into their role of dragonborn, they get a bonus 'fuck this dude actually' towards Talos, Ysmir, whatever the fuck he calls himself. (tldr; it sucks but good luck hearing Tei say that fully)

✧✧✧ Politics

Gray-Mane or Battle-Born?: Neither, ask them again they will punch you for the love of Ruptga they get asked that every time they enter Whiterun.

Stormcloaks or Imperials?: Also neither, Tei hates em both n think they can all choke. Unfortunately they were forced to join the latter due to, yknow, calling dragons & causing massive damage in Imperial territories during isolated fits of rage and the group being more aggressive in wanting something in return for "letting it slide"....oops

Opinion on the Thalmor?: Oh absolutely despises them, they loudly complained having to work with them during the CW & would go out their way to disrupt their plans/piss them off. Sneaking was an option they did not take during the Embassy quest, if it helps paint the picture.

Opinion Of Ulfric Stormcloak?: Tei doens't say they hate people often...but they sure as hell hate Ulfric. Again, their experience in Windhelm added to this heavily, how both the Dunmer & Argonians were treated like shit, with no help whatsoever from the Jarl or guards when the local Nords targeted them. It's still up in the air if I keep this for Tei's story, but I have it where they knew Chases-Starlight's parents, who were killed. When Tei went up & demanded justice/an investigation, only to be brushed off because it "wasn't a priority," it completely destroyed what little empathy or hope they had left for Windhelm as a whole.

Opinion of The Empire?: Cowards too weak to continue fighting back against the Thalmor, in their opinion, & holds these views they grew up with even when being strong-armed into aiding them. If anything they're at least attempting to use their influence to hint towards a rebellion against the Thalmor, but the Empire could also full-on dissolve & they could give less of a shit.

Civil War Quests Completed: 0

✧✧✧ Personal

How Are They Doing? Need Some Juice? A Nap? A Hug?: The whole event of Blood of Kings has fucked with their head, to say the least. It's the starting point of Tei's eventual spiral. So uh...yeah they're not sure how they're doing everything they knew about reality was kinda challenged & they don't rlly have anyone to talk to about it so its cool, its fine, its all good.

A nap is probably needed, not sure about a hug theough they're super flinchy rn

Days Past In Game: 196

Hours of Sleep: 846

Food Items Consumed: 1833

How Many Playthroughs Have You Done With This Character: Tei actually is an older character from the 360 days so uh...maybe 5 at most? This playthrough & their S:EC one coming up when the mod releases being the main ones focusing on their story

Overall How's Your Level Of Fun: Alright I would say! I just been stepping away from Skyrim more often lately to avoid burning out from it

Must Have Mods To Play This Character (for story or other reasons): Ordinator, Wintersun Faiths, Immersive Armors, Sarcastic Player Dialogue, 3DNPC, Inigo, Lucien Flavius, Kaidan 2, Khash the Argonian, Alternative Start, Leviathan Animations, Beast Race Body Paints, Beast HHBB, Apocalypse Magic, Deadly Dragons, Growl: Werewolf Overhaul, Pronouns, uhhh....idk what else without actually listing my current modlist lmao

----

And that's it for Tei! Anyone who wants to do this go on ahead!

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Girl Talk

This place is actually kinda cozy.

Well, I live by myself, like I said, so whatever mess there is, you can blame it on me.

*Komaru walks into the living room of Kanon’s apartment, where she’ll be staying for the evening. Kanon has a kotatsu set up, which Toko is already nuzzling under.

Mmm...It’s waaaarm...

Mind if I squeeze in?

Knock yourself out. There’s enough room for a few people.

*Komaru and Kanon snuggle under the kotatsu and sigh happily.

Excuse me?

Oh. Hey there Hatsudoki. Are you ok?

I was wondering where my client was...There was a matter of which I needed to talk to him about.

But...I can’t seem to find him.

Oh, Kuripa and Yasu are downstairs right now. Kuripa’s trying to teach Yasu how to use an electric baton better in case he needs to fight...

[Downstairs]

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! STOP CHASING ME!

THEN FIGHT BACK YOU COWARD, FIGHT BACK!!

Anyway, I’m sure they’re doing alright...But I wouldn’t interrupt them if I were you.

I see...Well, I guess I’ll just wait for him to come back...

*She begins to head into the kitchen.

Huh? Wait, you’re leaving?

I’m not leaving. I’m just going to wait for Kurafto in the kitchen.

Isn’t that a little bit...boring?

Why don’t you join us?

*Kibin looks at Komaru with a surprised expression.

Are you...asking me to stay?

Uh-huh. We haven’t gotten to chat yet, and I want to get to know you.

Sorry but...I don’t really like having close relations with my clients...

Kuripa’s your client. He’s the one paying you, so we’re a separate entity, aren’t we?

I’m pretty eager to talk too. I’m curious as to how someone so young could be a bounty hunter...

Hmmm...Very well...If you insist...

Huh? What’s up? You look a little red?

N-Not true...!

*A few minutes later, Kibin is snuggled under the kotatsu, trying to hide her satisfied expression.

It feels...nice...

Haha...You act all serious, but you’re really just a big softy, huh?

...

That was a joke...

I-I see...It was a joke...

So...What’s your stories?

Huh?

What do you mean?

You want me to talk about myself...something I’m not that good at...But I’d like the three of you to go first.

Please, tell me about yourselves.

What’s there to tell really? For the most part, I’m just a normal girl...

No normal girl has an iron leg...

Well, that’s...a recent addition.

I was part of the demon hunting game that the original Warriors of Hope played in Towa City over 8 years ago...That’s where I learned to use a hacking gun.

Yeah, same here.

I was kind of dragged along. But that’s how I met Komaru and the other warriors.

If I understand correctly, the Warriors of Hope are your friends now, aren’t they? Why make friends with old enemies?

Well, to be honest, they were just as much victims of the Demon Hunting as the adults were.

Monaca manipulated both the adults and the kids, for reasons everyone believed to be making a paradise for kids to live peacefully...

But in the end...She just wanted to slaughter a bunch...And she wanted Komaru to become the successor to Junko Enoshima.

But...well...She made me this leg, so I can’t really hate her...

Well, I suppose people can atone for their misdeeds...I can’t complain on my lonesome...

What about you Nakajima?

Well, my story is pretty similar...

I’m from a pretty rich family. My dad was a director at TAT Television.

That’s a pretty large TV conglomerate...!

The largest in the world actually.

I used to be super infatuated with my cousin Leon, and when we got into high school, I signed up to be manager of his baseball team in order to be close to him.

You were infatuated with your own cousin?

I know...I’m weird...I’m sorry...

D-Don’t apologize, I’m not judging.

I can’t judge...My love life has been a total mess...

But...I still have feelings for Master Byakuya...!

Charming...

But...my real question is how are you associated with Hagakure?

I met him by chance. At first I thought that he was just a random citizen, caught up in the whole mess, so I used my hacking gun to save him...

We...didn’t have the best relationship when we first met...Yasu realized that if he brought me back safely to my father, he would be able to pay off his remaining debt. From then on, he began treating me royally...

Tch...Selfish, money-grubbing dumbass...

Um...is he really that bad?

He wasn’t entirely to blame either...To be honest my own intentions weren’t very...pure...either.

What do you mean?

I hated the Future Foundation. When I found out that Leon had died in the killing game, I resented them and blamed them for allowing him to die...

And so...I swore that after I escaped the demon hunting game...I’d take them all down...and kill every last one of their members...!

Jesus...

But...that didn’t happen, did it?

No...Yasu found out...I’d wrote about it in my pocketbook and he somehow read it. And when I found this out...I...

You tried to kill him?

...

Yes...I tried to strangle him to death...

But as that was happening, Kotoko Utsugi showed up and tried to kill me...And she almost succeeded...

But...Yasu powered up a train and rammed into Utsugi’s robot, then he scooped me up and ran away with me. 

We nearly died...since we were being chased by both Utsugi and Daimon...But no matter what, he refused to be the helpless guy that he usually was, and he refused to let me go.

Wow...He really did that...? Maybe I judged Hiro a little too quickly...

Yeah, maybe he’s cooler than we first thought.

[Downstairs]

HELP MEEEEEEEE! GOD! BUDDHA! SAVE ME PLEEEAAASSE!

RAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!!

Ok, what about you then?

Me?

Yeah, it’s your turn! Go on, what’s your story?

...

Before the tragedy hit...I had a small family. I was an only child, and I lived with my parents.

When Junko Enoshima and the Remnants of Despair all attacked, one person came into my house and burnt everything down...

I escaped the blaze...but my parents weren’t so lucky...

In the years that the tragedy raged on for...The Future Foundation never found me...So I had to survive by myself...for so many years...

H-Hold on a second...Hatsudoki, how old are you?

Is that really important?

J-Just answer...I want to know if I’m doing the math right...

I’m 19.

Th-Then...if the tragedy first hit, and you lost your family, and were forced to survive in the apocalyptic wilds on your own over 10 years ago...then you would have been...!?

Holy shit...!

...It’s tough living in post-apocalyptic times...And I certainly did things that I wasn’t proud of.

In order to ensure my own survival, I killed anyone who had resources that I needed...For someone like me, it was get busy killing, or get busy dying...

Even after the area that I lived in at the time began going through rejuvenation after the killing game, I still had blood on my hands and no money...And that’s where I first got a job...

Someone approached you and told you you could kill for money, huh?

Yes...and I accepted.

As much as it pained me, I only knew two skills...how to survive, and how to kill...I couldn’t cook well enough, I had no social skills, I didn’t have an education...

I had nothing that would allow me to live a normal life...

Assassin work was really all there was, huh?

After I went through training, I was free to live on my own...But from then on, I had a goal in mind...

I wanted to gain enough money that would last me a lifetime. I wanted to get so rich that I’d never have to live life like a slumdog again...

I wanted to live the rest of my life peacefully...So I began to get better at my job...I charged more because of it...and I also ended up saving money...Just so I could achieve that dream. It’s selfish...But I want it more than anything...

No...After all you’ve been through...You probably deserve a happy life...

You don’t like being a hitman, do you? You just want to be done with that life...

...Who, other than a psychopath, could enjoy a job where you kill people unjustly...?

Hatsudoki...

I always thought something was slightly off...And now I know what it is...

Those clothes of yours barely fit you...Is that because...?

I only own a few sets of clothes. I don’t waste money on new ones when these ones still just about fit me...

...

...

...

Hey...we’re back...

Oh, hey guys! How’d it go...?

I thought I was gonna die...!

Ooookay then...?

Seriously, go easy on me Ripa! I’m not used to fighting like you are!

How many times do I have to say, don’t give me a stupid nick-

...!

Actually, I like that one. It sounds like “Reaper.”

It’s getting late...we should probably turn in for the night...

Agreed...so, what were the sleeping arrangements again?

I’m sleeping on the floor in Kanonball’s room, Toko and Komaru get the other bedroom...

Doki-Doki’s on the sofa and Reapers on the futon in the front room.

Doki-Doki?

Alright then...

Goodnight you guys!

[kibakun02]

Naruto Retsuden Epilog

“Mom, is hokage-sama going to coming out soon?”

The small palm of a hand gripped tightly to the hem of the skirt fluttering by

his face.

“Yeah that’s right, you’ll see him soon”

Quietly, the mother looks up to the shrine dedicated to the gods on the hill.

Among the modest crowd on the piled sandstone was a meeting happening between

the 7th hokage and the Daimyo of the Land of Stairs.

Tons of people had gathered at the foot of the hill just to catch a glimpse of

the “hero” on his first visit since he had taken office.

The air around the slope of the hill gently sways, making the thin smoke of an

orange flame rise.

No one understood why it burned.

For the 4,000 years of recorded history, the flame at the top of the hill

continued to burn even through the rainy days. The indelible flame is regarded

as a blessing from the gods and a curse from the devil, since ancient times

it’s been worshiped and been the subject of awe.

Eventually, as the fourth shinobi world war ended with the five great

countries in agreement of social peace, and once the rumors of the mysterious

flame that burned in the corner of a small country reached the ear of Kakashi

Hatake, the hokage at this time, had a team of investigators dispatched.

Their research, consisting of both science and ninjutsu, resulted in the

reveal of a large deposit of natural gas that sat beneath the hill. Natural

gas erupted from underground while the geothermal heat ignited the flame.

The heat from the never-ending bonfire caused a gentle breeze, shaking the

petals of the dull wild violets that bloomed.

The 7th hokage and daimyo of the Land of Stairs came out of the temple exactly

at their scheduled time. Seems like the meeting went off without a hitch.

“Hokage-sama!”

“Seventh! Over here!”

“Do a rasengan!!”

Cheers rose from the crowd gathered by the staircase.

In response to seeing the cheering crowd, the 7th hokage lifted his arm to

form a rasengan just as from behind, his escort from Konoha rushed to push

down his arm in restraint.

“Hokage-sama, please don’t show off your rasengan so carelessly! It could

affect national security!”

“Whaaat? It’s fine. Just a little-…“

The seventh hokage sourly frowned, reluctantly lowering his arm.

Naruto Uzumaki.

The Village Hidden in the Leaves’ top shinobi, the protector of the Land of

Fire, the young leader holds the position of 7th hokage. His hair a bright

blonde, his eyes reminiscent of ramune soda in the summertime

He’s reaching his mid-thirties, but from his juvenile innocence, you’d never

guess.

It’s no secret that he’s the jinchuriki to the nine-tailed fox, but his face

looks closer to that of a racoon than a fox. His big eyes, nose, mouth, in

addition all moved well, making his expressions rich. It wasn’t just his

expressions that were flashy, it was every slight move he made, catching the

eye of the people all around you. He’s your average “smooth talker” type of

leader that pulls you in, but in his case, the love he gives breaks through.

Naruto stopped his feet suddenly in the middle of the staircase, narrowing his

eyes as he threw his gaze far off in the distance. He was sure that he’d be

able to see visible skyscrapers that were lined in the distance behind the

clouds from his view. The dull field connected to the foot of the hill

abruptly ended at the border of the capital and switched completely to a

cosmopolitan view interwoven with inorganic material.

Since the natural gas underground could be easily obtained in the area, it

became widely used as a source of fuel for in the five great nations for

large-scale transportation, causing the Land of Stairs to rapidly develop.

Their Gross Domestic Product increased seventeen times over a decade ago,

their infrastructure improved, welfare enhanced excessively, and life

expectancy increased by 20 years.

There is so much money. What’s missing is tradition, and the story of a hero.

“Hokage-sama, how was your visit to the Land of Stairs?”

Waiting at the bottom of the staircase for the 7th Hokage were interviewers,

surrounding and pointing a microphone at him.

“I was happy to experience the development of the Land of Stairs first-hand.

I had also accompanied the investigators dispatched by the previous hokage. To

be able to get a feel for the Land of Stairs development like this, I’m glad

I came.”

After the hokage gave his comment, a shrill voice rose with “please come

again!”

“haha… well we’ll look for another opportunity”

As the hokage answered softly laughing, applause erupted from all over the

crowd.

The long-established hidden village leaders, everyone in the Land of Stairs’

aspiration. In particular, they had great confidence in the hokage, the leader

of the hidden leaf village. Over 10 years ago, this country, whose livelihood

still depended on their blacksmith industry, received a grant for development assistance by the Land of Fire’s daimyo Madoka Ikkyu and the sixth hokage.

After passing laws for refining the natural gas underground, the country’s

total production per capita grew three times bigger than that of the Land of

Fire, and aid was discontinued. Though they never forget the support they

received in poor times.

The more people like you, and the greater influence you have, the more enemies

you’ll inevitably have. At this time, the person who’d been asked to

assassinate Naruto Uzumaki was surely one of them. Looking at Naruto’s

profile as he continued with the media correspondence, Aze Yanaru narrowed his

sharp eyes. He was an assassination specialist shinobi, changing his

appearance with a transformation jutsu as he approached Naruto.

While the usual strategy to assassination is aiming at your target while

they’re alone, Yanaru often picked places conspicuous and visible to the

public. Unexpected attacks in places with an unknown number of witnesses. What

makes this possible is the use of shadow clones enclosing in a four-man cell.

With his kekkei genkai, Yanaru can share his stored accumulated memories when

his clone disappears, not only with his original body but with the rest of his

clones. It’s a great advantage to have the ability to exchange information

closely should there be any unexpected situations at the site of

assassination.

His shadow clones, A, B, and C, all 3 of them placed and already aiming at the

hokage’s life. On the other hand, only three escorts were guarding the

hokage.

The bounty presented was enormous. If one were to succeed in this job, you’d

have enough to live comfortably for 3 generations.

Yanaru looked at the crowd gathered at the foothill, taking a deep breath to

release his nervousness. The life of the seventh hokage for money. Something

much more than natural gas.

One of Yanaru’s clones, A, hid himself in the thick leaves, aiming at the

seventh hokage from atop a tree.

On the path the hokage walked, there was a luxurious rug, dyed a luxurious red

from sappanwood dye. The root was clear, there was almost no open space

anywhere or blind spots in the perimeter, so aiming from there was a good

location. No doubt that Shikamaru Nara, one of the hokage’s right hand men,

would complain, but he persisted on by the side of the stairs, since this hill

was the most sacred site in the country.

“A” gripped a small firearm in one hand, reciting and confirming his plan.

A state-of-the-art photon gun, issued by his employer, a weapon that emits a

400,000-watt high power (maxima laser) to attack enemies from a distance. The

intense heat from the laser instantly transmits from cell to cell, even if it were to hit the tip of your hair, your whole body will heat itself in a few

minutes, causing you to burst from the inside out.

He raised his face again, readjusting his grip. The questions from the media

are pouring in with rapid succession and without hesitation towards the

seventh hokage.

“Does the Land of Fire import gas not only from us but also from the Land of

Wind? I know that the Land of Wind has been closely tied to the Land of Fire

for a long time, but what do you think about the rumors that both countries

are trying to exclude natural gas from the market by favoring each other?”

“eeeeeeh? Who says that? The kazekage is an old friend, but negotiations

between countries are another story.”

“Then, there’s no favoritism?”

“No, no. We do import a lot of your gas, but we wouldn’t suddenly switch

over if Gaara gave us a friend discount.”

Laughter erupted from the reporters. Whether it was natural or calculated, the

seventh hokage cleverly dodged presumptuous questions from the press.

“A” checked his watch. It was decided that there’d been enough time to

cover the area. Soon, the hokage was to walk on that carpet made just for him

then head out a boat seaplane. Plenty of chances.

Aim there.

Licking his dry lips, “A” clutched the photon gun even tighter.

*whoosh*

The wind of the shot grazed his cheek.

“huh?”

The moment he looked off to the side,

Byi-i-in!

As it shook the air, the shot pierced the body of a tree. “A” was stunned,

shrinking himself back into the branches of the tree.

The hokage should’ve been safe from any distance but for some reason he was

under attack.

When and why did they find out about this place? Who shot the beam? Where was

he? His thoughts still confused, he rammed his hand in his pocket ready to

fight back.

The leaves overhead sway as they fall down. The gloved palm of “A” held his

grip on the photon gun.

“eh....”

A man looked up, eyes sleepy, like the gaze like a goat. The face of a man who

hid his face with a cloth mask.

He didn’t recognize him. This man...

“Kakashi Hatake-” A kunai sank into A’s throat before he could finish saying the name. The tip

of the blade cut through bone and flesh, blood splattered onto the fresh

leaves around him.

A puff of smoke.

“A” disappeared without a trace.

As “A” disappeared, the memory of what happened right before he died flowed

into Yanaru’s body and the body of the others, “B” & “C”.

The last view of “A” was the worst imaginable.

Kakashi Hatake. The man with listless eyes, at first glance he seems

ambitionless and naiive, shinobi are still deceived by this appearance even

while part of the five great nations. His face, the former hokage, is well

known, too.

Being the man who first sent a research team for the natural gas, he was no

less popular than the seventh hokage in the Land of Stairs. Despite this, none

of the people in the crowd noticed him, a sign that Kakashi is completely out

of sight.

After retiring from the 6th hokage title, he spent his days reading the news

from the paper and enjoys visiting hot springs as his hobby. However true,

he’s still on the scene, participating in security for the 7th hokage.

“B” slowly kicked at the dirt beneath his straw sandals.

Kakashi Hatake removed his first blade, deliberately letting the clone see

himself. Intimidation was the purpose. Since the opponent had no chance of

winning against Kakashi Hatake, the third-rate assassinate reluctantly

withdrew. Celebrities had to be self-aware of such disgusting guys. That’s

the reason why he let his head fall, to show the difference in strength, that

there was no room for resistance. “B” pulled his sweaty hand out from his

sleeve.

Easy does it. Stop shaking and looking upset. He got rid of his disturbing

behavior as not to be found out. He sucked in a deep breath of air. Moments

later as he went to exhale, something covered his mouth.

“―――！！”

It continued on, he put his hands up to his neck as he were being strangled,

tiny gasps leaking out. “B” instantly clutched at the wrist of the unknown

person who covered his mouth.

Thin. A woman’s wrist.

“B” tried to kick back his left foot to somehow escape, but he missed. His

toes kicked up and ended up in the air, causing him to lose his balance. His

hunched body held in a firm one-legged hold by the woman, finally stopping

“B” from stirring about.

When the brain becomes deficient in oxygen, it ceases to function. Within the light-headesness and the daze of fading consciousness he could

faintly feel something soft touching his back. She was a woman, after all.

The female ninja with Kakashi Hatake who was guarding the 7th Hokage. She had

the excellent skill of getting rid of someone without anyone in a crowd

noticing, with little room for them to resist her powerful strength.

……Sakura Haruno。

He was convinced she was the one who had gotten him (B),but couldn’t confirm

if his guess was correct or not. Without even a glance at her face, she

tightened her strangle around his neck.

“B” vanished into smoke.

What was going on? Security wasn’t insufficient?

“C” was impatient.

For Kakashi Hatake, he didn’t know a person who didn’t know Sakura Haruno’s

reputation as being a go-getter with brilliant technique in endurance, the two

of them being a part of the 7th hokage’s security. In a face to face fight

with 10-1, you wouldn’t even be considered a challenge.

The 7th hokage walks toward the boat seaplane.

“Calm down”, “C” told himself.

I’m a clone. Even if I were to be attack, I’d just disappear, I won’t

die.

Five seconds passed since “B” vanished. Even if he no longer had his

comrades, he was safe. They haven’t noticed he was the assassin.

“C” touched the photon gun hidden within his jacket.

It’s ok. I can do it.

He takes a deep breath and waits for the hokage to step in front of him.

A little more……

Just a few more steps……

Then, across the red carpet’s pathway, he noticed a black-haired man

standing. He stood out as the tallest man in the perimeter.

While everyone’s eyes were all on the hokage, he only gave his attention to

the masses of people, rather than to the other heroes of the Land of Fire.

His handsome features were too famous among other shinobi.

Sasuke Uchiha――

Are you participating in security to this monster?

It’d be impossible to go with a front facing attack. In a moment of

judgement, “C” pulled a woman within arms reach towards him.

“Don’t move! I’ll kill this woman!”

He shouted with the gun’s barrel to the woman’s temple as the crowd screamed

and scattered.

Sasuke stopped the hokage in his tracks, stepping in front of him in defense.

How convenient. The photon gun had the power to shoot through seven men lined

up in a row.

I’ll shoot them both!

The man went to lift his arm and point the barrel to Sasuke’s chest.

Somehow as he went to move his arm, his fingers moved.

His lightly bent middle finger moved, pulling the trigger.

A laser emitted from the barrel pressed against her head, shooting through

the woman’s temple.

BANG!!

Countless crows flew from within the ruptured head.

“huh?”

Ebony feathers flutter around.

“C” fell to his knees as he suddenly became lethargic, unable to stand up.

Genjutsu.

[neverwatchedonepiece]

645-647: "Destruction Cannon Blasts! Lucy in Trouble!", "The Legendary Pirate! Don Chinjao!" and "Light and Darkness! The Shadow Behind Dressrosa!"

There is something rotten in the state of Dressrosa right now. Doflamingo has some seriously shady shenanigans on the go. Turning humans into toys? Letting them live alongside relatives who - it appears - have their memories wiped? Tossing them for scrap if they show any signs of rebellion? Yeah, this whole situation is totally messed up. Now I get why a Resistance is mounting against the Donquixote Family. 

I watched three episodes because I thought I might see the end of the Block C battles. No such luck, but Luffy vs Don Chinjao has been fun so far. 

Still, that freaky Toy Human transformation reveal was totally worth it. 

(Will catch up on replies this week too! It’s been a weirdly busy couple of weeks but next week won’t be as rammed. :D)

Electric Fist Bump

I am still not certain that Brutal Bull is, in fact, going to recover. Let’s just pretend he will. At least Luffy gently carried him to safety and thanked him for fighting with him. ;_;

A random called Ideo (way too much eyeliner, Shoulders McGee) finished the job by punching Hajrudin out the ring. After Ideo’s brag-fest, I thought Luffy would be the one to kick his ass too, but it was funnier than that.

A random competitor called Jean the Bounty Hunter (no relation to Dog) had seen through Luffy’s disguise. He knocked off Luffy’s helmet and slashed his beard. Instead of giving up his disguise, Luffy chased him (lmao) to get his helmet back. 

Once exposing Luffy, didn’t work, Jean picked up all the weapons dropped by competitors who fell to Don Chinjao’s conqueror’s haki. Jean seriously thought he could defeat Luffy by carrying around a giant blade ball. Okay, mate.

Jean, at least, was allowed a quick shit-talk. He’d made so much money recapturing all the criminals Luffy set free from Impel Down. Now, Jean was aiming to snare Buggy (I guess he doesn’t read the papers), Crocodile, Jimbei, Ivankov and Shiryu (good luck with those names, mate).

Meanwhile, Luffy was standing there, reminiscing over all the old names like it was old times. “I wonder how Jimbei and Iva are doing?”

Jean got mad, threw his dumb sword ball and... it did not go to plan.

Luffy dodged.

Instead, a rather large and intimidating man absorbed all the swords.

Staring down Don Chinjao was too much for poor Jean. He was so scared, he made moe eyes before Don Chinjao took him out. (Good luck chasing after Crocodile from your new job on Doflamingo’s Factory Assembly Line!)

The fight between Luffy and Don Chinjao was actually fun to watch. The moment when they both punched out Sai and Ideo “Get outta the way!” was funny. And the Conqueror’s Haki clash was stylish (still love that blue filter), powerful (that Whitebeard soundtrack) and also pretty interesting.

Diamante watched the whole thing from his private booth. He used it as a teaching moment for Bellamy. “See, that is what it takes to be a king.” Don Chinjao sort of backed this up later when he said to Luffy that loads of people in the New World could use Conqueror’s Haki. “Only battling it out amongst themselves will reveal who the Pirate King will be. A battle of conquerors. That’s what’ll decide.”

I thought Conqueror’s Haki was a much rarer type. Maybe it still is, but that all the big shots are now concentrated in a smaller area, so there’s more chance you’ll meet someone with it. I know Shanks has it, I know Whitebeard had it, but I’m wondering if Big Mom and Kaidou also have it? (The jury’s out on Teach. Is he too much of a coward, or will he awaken it too? Who knows?)

Don Chinjao also kept veering between wailing with rage and attacking with rage at what Garp had taken from him (treasure and strength, apparently).  He also kept demanding Luffy tell him what Garp had done. Luffy was like, “No, you walnut. I have no idea. How many times must I repeat myself?”

Luffy didn’t know whether Don Chinjao wanted to be sad or mad. Maybe Luffy should set himself up as a therapist because I think it’s a bit of both.

At the moment, Don Chinjao has transformed into an Upside Down Tornado of Large Man, so we’ll see how that pans out in the coming episodes.

Oh, and by the way, Bobby Funk wore his brother like a jacket during the fight. Don’t ask. It was deeply, hilariously weird and I’m glad they got their asses kicked because I felt wrong watching that.

He’s Not an Idiot. He’s Directionally Disadvantaged

On the way to Flower Field, Wicka was astonished to discover Zoro is the opposite of a homing pigeon. They yelled at each other the entire time. Wicka because Zoro veered away from Flower Field yet again, and Zoro because Wicka “sucked at leading the way.” Meanwhile, the concerned residents of Dressrosa wondered why the strange man was yelling at himself.

Wicka kept punching Zoro for not going the right way. Because the Tontatta people make up for their lack of stature with super strength, I actually cheered when Zoro had enough of Wicka smacking him. He set her down in a plant pot, was like, “I have friends I care about too. Stop complaining or ask some damned cat to carry you,” then walked off.

Damn straight, Zoro. Don’t put up with that crap.

Luckily for Wicka, Zoro has no sense of direction. He circled straight round, which gave her the opportunity to apologise.

I guess it’s for the best. Otherwise Zoro would end up stuck on Dressrosa forever. Or at least until Sanji turned up.

And speaking of Sanji, he has teamed up with Kinemon again. They are currently lurking outside the Colosseum. They have spotted something ominous. Lots of Marines gathered outside, including new Vice-Admiral Bastille, waiting to swoop and arrest any unsuspecting Block A and Block B fighters leaving the arena.

I laughed at Kinemon’s weird cognitive dissonance. “Yeah, well criminals should be caught!”

Sanji would not have it. He smacked Kinemon and was like, “You are working with pirates.” Lmao, Kinemon. Old habits die hard, I guess.

At least Sanji has returned to the Sanji I like best: sneaking about, trying to solve problems. He knows Luffy needs to know about the Marines lurking outside, but how to tell him?

Plus, what’s happened to all the Block A and Block B competitors who lost their fight? Vice-Admiral Bastille is on to something. None of them have left the Colosseum. Not a single one. That is strange. Something weird, and possibly sinister, is going on here. (I wonder if they’re being turned into toys?)

This is Why I Like Nami

This was only a short scene but I loved it.

In the last couple of episodes, I assumed Nami, Brook, Chopper and Momo were retreating to regroup with a master plan to win back Sunny.

Nope. As if they would ever leave Sunny in the hands of an enemy. What was I thinking?

Even though Nami sees herself as weak compared to the DF eaters and haki users of the crew, she is not helpless. One, she is smart, and two, Nami has freaking weather controlling powers! Nami used both of those qualities to her advantage. Chopper and Brook were a distraction. While Giolla’s attention was on them, Nami readied some thunder balls.

BOOM! Direct hit on Giolla’s submarine. Now, as a DF user, she has no means to return to Dressrosa and all her goons were smoked by thunderbolt.

Your move, Giolla! :D

How About Hide-and-Seek?

Like, with a four day head start? 

No?

I guess Law must be content with running like hell from the two Absolute Monsters chasing him. Fujitora was not making it easy. Every time he sheathes that sword, a jet of purple (no idea what it is. Let’s call it pure purple) rocketed into the clouds and, hello meteor shower!

Luckily, Law can Room those and slice them like bread rolls, but Doflamingo’s bullet strings were another matter. Law scarpered, dodged, hid and tried to call Nami. To no avail. Why wasn’t she picking up?

“I know what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to buy time,” Doflamingo said. “And I’m not gonna let you have it your way.”

No Burger King for you, Law.

Poor, beleaguered Law screeched to a halt when he realised that, somehow, Fujitora had overtaken him. My new favourite Admiral was sitting on a rock, as if he’d been politely waiting for Law to show for ages. Then it was meteor time.

Even Doflamingo was like, “Wow, you have no mercy.”

Fujitora just said, “I’m all thumbs.”

Lmao, mate. Yeah, those extreme overkill meteors? I’m just clumsy. Nah, no one believes you, Fujitora. You love smashing felons. Admit it.

Meanwhile, deep underground, Usopp was beginning to regret feigning descent from Noland. The ominous, earth-shattering rumbles from Fujitora’s onslaught were passed off as “just Usopp’s amazing haki!”

When he realised the Tontatta people kept going on about the Donquixote Family, he consulted Robin. “Um, what kind of relationship do they have with Doflamingo exactly?” he asked.

“Well, they’re serious about fighting him,” Robin replied.

Usopp had an uh-oh moment. He drew Leo (the battle hype man) aside and asked why they wanted to fight Doflaming. That’s my Usopp! Asking all the right plot questions.

Apparently, the Tontatta want to rescue five hundred friends forced to work at the “shady factory”. Moreover, Doflamingo also holds their “obnoxious, selfish, mean, moody and short-tempered Princess Mancherie” there too.

Good sell, Leo. Good sell.

“Um, she sounds horrible,” Usopp said (lmao).

“Yup!” Leo cheerfully agreed. But then he added, rather sweetly, “But she’s one of us too. Noland would save everyone who’s in trouble, right?”

Usopp looked a bit ill at that point. He did not have to answer that question, as Flapper, another Tontatta kid, hoofed it into frame. Apparently, the Donquixote Family at the palace were on the move. Rumour had it they were probably moving to the Colosseum basement. And why were they moving there?

Under the Colosseum is only where the Shady Factory is hidden! :D

I thought the Factory would be in Green Bit. This is even better! Now I’m very suspicious about all the defeated fighters. They are prime for processing. At least I got one thing right about people being forced to work at the Factory (though it wasn’t related to stealing stuff). 

This Really Makes You Re-Think Toy Story

I knew it! I knew there was something weird with the toys. At first I just went with it because, well, One Piece, right? There are giants, sentient fruit-eating swords, dudes stuck in barrels. Anything goes, right? I mean, who can explain the wonder of Gekko Moria?

Turns out this does not extend to talking toys. Talking toys are not normal. Unless they’ve been invented by Vegapunk, as Franky rightly thought.

Nope. These toys are not the work of Vegapunk.

They are the product of a twisted Devil Fruit user under the employ of Doflamingo, who transforms humans into toys.

Why? I have no idea.

But the reason has got to be some dodgy kind of punishment for something. 

There was a creepy scene when a toy desperately tried to convince the woman who was once his girlfriend that he was a human, that they once lived together, were once happy together. The trouble was, his girlfriend could not remember him! She looked at him in disgust, said, “This toy has human syndrome!” and he was dragged off to a ominous looking building with the word SCRAP emblazoned above a forbidding door.

It seems a lot of the toys remember being human. Sol spoke to a guy called Milo, who is currently masquerading as Onepoko-chan the dog. Turns out the boy who plays with him is actually his son, and the boy’s mother is his wife.

What. The. Actual?

Sol asked the boy if he had a dad. Nope, was the answer. What about the wife? Had she ever been married? Don’t be silly.

Something really, really weird is going on here. And I never even mentioned the midnight curfew. Anyone who is caught outside after then is arrested (and probably turned into a toy). Toys and humans are allowed to hang about during the day, but at night? They are segregated. Toys live in toy homes. Humans remain in their homes.

This is totally weird and cool and I cannot wait to see where this goes.

Every time questions are answered in Dressrosa, another ten rise to take their place. :D

[indiepoptime]

STRAY KIDS SUPERHERO AU

i started this when i didn’t have wifi or a sketchbook and thus my phone’s notes app was the only thing i had to entertain myself. i didn’t get very far, but decided to finish because we got a fandom name recently (hello fellow stays!!!) and also our boys are coming back so soon and i’m E X C I T E D as hell

anyways i’ll keep one before the cut as a teaser and the rest under it so this post doesnt get too long. this isn’t in age order like i usually do it because....idk. it felt right to do chan first.

hope y’all enjoy this one as much as my day6 one from a bit back!! 

Bang Chan/Chan:

—the batman type of superhero who everyone thinks has some insane power/ability but really is just a normal dude armed with his smarts, charisma, and a small collection of taser guns

—is one of the only members without a secret identity (he barely has a costume. it’s literally a black onesie at best; he wears what he can change into fast) but the members still spy on him because they think he’s lying about not having powers

—works from home in graphic design so that he has the flexibility to do both daytime and nighttime shifts as a hero (we see his priorities here—he still doesn’t get enough sleep)

—doesn’t kill and actively tries to rehabilitate his opponents while he fights them

—villains hate him because they find him irritating, except the ones who he’s managed to actually reform (who, to be fair, still find him irritating but don’t hate him because he’s made their lives better) and who are now grudgingly his “allies” through a variety of physical and figurative debts

—the of-age members have a drinking game where they’ll take a shot after work every time chan ends a battle by calling to a villain by name and taking them out to ice cream/boba/fries (still in costume)

—won’t shut up about how much he loves his team to the point where he’s on probation for public appearances because he’ll inevitably give away a member’s identity. regardless, he’s the undisputed leader and every single member trusts him with their secret identity if they have one

Woojin:

—student with a part-time job as a barista and also as a superhero

—running joke is that he didn’t mean to be on a superhero team, but chan joined his chill study club and turned it into a vigilante club without him realizing what was happening until it was too late

—he just goes with the jokes, but secretly can’t remember how he was pulled into this whole superhero mess either. the thought concerns him a little (but not that much)

—speedster who complains about his “slowness” anyways, leading to his being called either the grandpa or the bear (perpetual hibernation; the members joke that one day he will actually sleep through his own life) of the team

—hard-carries the team in a silent, un-flashy way—a lot of his work in battle is done speeding from place to place, stealing weapons, changing the position of mines and traps

—complains about the members a lot, but genuinely views himself as their personal guardian and would gladly sacrifice his life for them even if he’s somewhat clumsy about it

—the members still give him shit about the one time he rammed into a glass door at the speed of sound and shattered it all over himself (thank god for armored suits) to save jeongin from what he thought was a villain but was actually just a large bird/tree/telephone pole (the story’s gotten muddled over the years)

Lee Know/Minho:

—a professional dancer who’s been in the industry for years, though he’s only recently come out of the shadows as a backing dancer and into the spotlight as a solo act; the development of his powers over fire and electricity have allowed him to put on some pretty impressive performances

—woojin meets him one day in his coffee shop and, after recognizing him from his dancing, asks him about his powers and advertises his club to him. after a few drops by the shop, minho decides to pay the club a visit and essentially adopts all the members as his unspoken proteges

—his fighting style is a mixture of dance and martial arts, which he learned when he was younger, plus a few neat tricks with fire that allow him to hover and propel/flip in the air

—“why are you afraid of heights—you literally fly!”

—“IT’S DIFFERENT OK”

—he’s by far the most popular member with the public, most of whom have not quite made the connection between the graceful fire dancer on stage and the aggressive but also elegant fighter that he becomes in battle. a few of his fans have obviously connected the dots, but are fiercely loyal to his brand and consider it their little secret

—nevertheless, he’s not at all afraid of losing his secret identity and simply keeps it because he can

—he tells the members that he’s already a celeb anyways, so it doesn’t really matter, and happily posts little hints to his identities on all of his social media (he’s got sites for Nightstriker (his superhero name—as pretentious as possible) and himself) while the other members stare on in shock

Changbin:

—rich as h e c k; the one facet of batman that chan lacks

—an amateur graphic novelist with a passion for collecting things: he’s got at least 200 stuffed animals, boxes upon boxes of antique marbles, and enough superhero suits (that he had custom-made depending on his mood and age) to last a small lifetime

—he’s wanted to be a superhero since he was very small, since he spent a lot of his youth reading books and comics, but didn’t develop powers until later in life so he turned to novel-writing as a way to become a hero in fantasy

—when he was 17, his power over shadow finally started to manifest, catching him off guard. at first he could only do small things like blind people or turn the lights off without moving, but eventually he learned that he could literally control people’s bodies by manipulating their shadows

—he went to woojin’s club out of fear, afraid that his powers were too dark to control, and that he couldn’t be the hero he wanted to be if he couldn’t control them

—the other members but especially minho took him under their wing and showed him that there were multiple sides to his power that he could harness in order to achieve balance: the darkness of shadow, but also the light around it

—once changbin gains control over his powers, he considers it his debt to shower the other members with ridiculously luxurious items from home. he’s never quite known what to do with all of his wealth, most of it inherited, so he just keeps buying stuff for the people who helped him

—minho’s not sure what to do with the fancy gold-lined bidet that suddenly appears in his backstage bathroom, but he goes with it

Han/Jisung:

—a childhood friend of changbin’s who re-entered his life when he needed an illustrator to help him with his graphic novels

—equipped with a raging imagination since he was very young, jisung’s powers actually manifest while he’s working on one of changbin’s comics: he accidentally imagines one of the monsters from its pages into being

—changbin and him end up having to fight it and, after changbin helps a stunned jisung defeat the monster with his darkness powers (which jisung previously didn’t know existed), he offers to take his friend to woojin’s club to help him control his newfound abilities

—like minho took changbin under his wing, chan takes it upon himself to help jisung reign in his wayward imagination and bend it to his will. as someone who has to remain calm at all times and evaluate the situation to take advantage of it because of his lack of powers, chan is in a unique position to help jisung concentrate

—once jisung is able to handle his abilities at least to a certain extent, he excitedly provides the club with their own building, furnished with plush furniture and a frighteningly large sunflower lamp in the living room. he refuses to compromise on both the lamp and the building’s fuchsia walls and insists that if they want something different they’ll have to buy it, which changbin immediately does

—his favorite weapon in battle is a giant yellow hammer that he created, which he’s happily named j.won to foreshadow his impending victories. his members are tired and have basically given up on him

Hyunjin:

—if minho’s fame as a celebrity dancer is discounted, then hyunjin would win as the most popular member simply because he’s STELLAR at hiding his identity and everyone is curious as hell

—literally has no clue how popular he is and doesn’t believe it when the other members tell him

—everyone thinks he’s significantly older than he actually is because he has a very dark costume that covers his entire body and a green jeweled mask that covers his face (the jewels came from changbin; the green was hyunjin’s idea)

—his power is poison, and he’s damn good at using it. not only can he erode/poison an enemy by touching them, forcing them to grow progressively weaker throughout a battle; he can also use words to poison: his power allows him to discover his enemy’s worst fear and use it to weaken them

—like changbin, he came to the club out of fear, but not because he was worried that his power would overcome him, but because he worried that controlling and using it made him a bad person

—under the guidance of chan and changbin, he learns to limit his powers and use them to curb evil/violence without crossing the line himself

—when he first came to the club, he was attached to changbin at the hip because he felt a kindred spirit in him, but eventually he would start to absorb the joy of some of the other members, especially jisung and felix (who were usually around changbin anyway)

Felix:

—having come from abroad and found himself both directionless and moneyless, felix turns to stealing in order to provide for himself. he breaks into changbin’s home thinking that he and his family aren’t there, only to find changbin wrestling himself into one of his many superhero suits (the family outing, while true for the rest of his family, was a distraction for changbin to change)

—after the shock of that first meeting, changbin “invites” (more like grudgingly accepts) his intruder into his home and offers him a full meal, as well as a free shower and some nice clothes before going out on his mission

—somewhere down the line changbin realizes that he’s adopted a younger brother somehow? and it’s actually kind of nice?? once felix is cleaned up and not stealing, he’s very smiley and cute and follows changbin around the house everywhere offering to help

—eventually, changbin isn’t able to keep felix from coming along with him to one of his club meetings, wherein felix gains a bucketload of new role models

—chan is SO COOL, especially because he doesn’t have powers, and because felix thinks that he also doesn’t have powers, he spends every meeting trying to get chan to teach him stuff

—eventually, the team takes felix aside to try to figure out if he DOES have any powers (since, changbin insists, if he’s gonna keep coming with me we gotta keep him NOT DEAD. I HAVE BROTHERLY DUTIES)

—it doesn’t take them long to discover that felix definitely does have powers, and that they were kind of obvious: he can turn himself intangible at will, and he does it unconsciously. it’s how he’s been getting into houses undetected

—woojin takes him as his apprentice, since his powers are fairly similar (SO COOL, says felix)

—jisung calls him Filly Pryde and insists that this should be his superhero name when he goes public—the rest of the team wants to die in that instant

Seungmin:

—the only member of the team who actually came to the club on his own free will and wasn’t brought in by another member

—was a HUGE fan of the superhero team before he joined; he followed all of their public appearances and kept newspaper cuts of their battles in his room, as well as identity graphs where he’s hunted down info about all of the members and tried to figure out who they actually were

—when he joins, woojin comes to the apartment that he shares with his mom and sister and seungmin is a frenzy of COVER UP EVERYTHING THEY CAN’T KNOW THAT I KNOW hi im seungmin

—while hyunjin trained himself because he HAD to, seungmin built up his seemingly useless power to make it into a superhero-worthy skill. he can control paper, but has trained himself to have limited control over different types of trees (those that are made to make paper, which he’s taught himself to recognize on sight)

—he’s also extremely skilled at using paper folding/origami as a weapon using speed and the angle of the edge of the paper. basically paper-cuts on steroids

—changbin makes the mistake of hazarding a joke about seungmin’s ability when they first meet, before seungmin almost saws his nose off (and also berates him with hundreds of embarrassing incidents from past fights that seungmin somehow still remembers)

—he and minho have a bomb combo move that involves minho lighting trains of paper knives on fire and it is, in felix’s words, the best thing on this good earth

I.N/Jeongin:

—seungmin’s protege

—jeongin’s power is the most obvious of the whole team’s: he’s got 4-foot angel wings that are probably still growing. when they first sprouted, he was almost beat nonsensical before seungmin paper-cut his bullies into near delirium and then told jeongin that his wings were the most awesome thing he’d ever seen

—seungmin then brought jeongin home, made him a variety of beautiful paper capes and shawls to hide his folded wings, and then went to the club to have jisung make him a bag whose straps could fit his wings through them, as well as fabric copies of the paper designs

—after a while, jisung began to question who he was making these extravagant gifts for, and had woojin & chan ask seungmin to bring his protege to the club

—afraid that his team would think jeongin was either too young or ill-prepared to be a superhero, seungmin spent an entire night preparing a 20-slide ppt presentation complete with images and research for his case, as well as a few days training jeongin in basic battle skills

—he needn’t have been worried though; chan falls in love with jeongin instantly and forces the rest of the team to accept him as well, which doesn’t take much forcing at all once the kid smiles

—“WHAT IS THAT PEST??!” demands a villain, gesturing at a flying jeongin

—“THAT’S OUR BABY!” chan yells back

[hazyheel]

NXT UK 2/20/19 Review

This episode of NXT UK seemed like it lacked a real narrative outside of the main event. Even though we had a good match on the undercard, it just didn’t feel like it meant anything. Stories are important in wrestling, and if we aren’t getting any, then it devalues the product. However, this episode was still exciting in spite of that, and it wound up being an okay show.

We started the show out with a quick recap of the Rhea Ripley and Toni Storm feud, crowd seemed hot for the match, and I was certainly excited. However, we had to wait for it, as there was a tag match pitting Mark Andrews and Flash Morgan Webster vs. The Coffey’s. This was a very clear strength vs speed matchup, and it had the appropriate amount of heel domination over the smaller faces. Joe Coffey is actually a surprisingly good submission wrestler, and it was especially impressive when he held Andrews in a Full Nelson facelock and swung him around. It seemed like the faces had it won, until Mark Coffey caught Andrews out of a suicide dive into a vertical suplex on the apron and Joe Coffey countered Webster’s swanton bomb. Joe then hit a battering ram on Webster in the corner, followed by the Best for the Bells, and the heels picked up the win.

Grade: C. The match never really seemed to pick up speed, and the methodical heels really didn’t help that matter much. Andrews and Webster are great at being underdogs, but that does not always make for a great match. The swerve at the end where the Coffey Brothers came from behind to win was the redeemer for this match.

Quick video package for Nina Samuels, a relatively new wrestler to the British indie scene, only debuting five years ago. She has won the Pro Wrestling EVE Championship once in the past, but I don’t know much of her work, so I am going to stay skeptical about her. Then we had a pre recorded promo from Jordan Devlin, who says that he is back in Ireland, and that he is not done with Travis Banks. This is definitely a feud that I am interested in, so I am glad that it is continuing. We also had a video package hyping up Kay Lee Ray as well, who I have heard of. She is prominent on the British Indie scene, winning titles in Defiant, ICW, WCPW and World of Sport Wrestling. I look forward to seeing how she is used in NXT UK.

Next up, a singles match between Trent Seven and Shane Thorne. The match was very rough, and unbelievably stiff. Thorne did a very good job of selling his vicious heel character. Seven’s arm was worked over throughout the match. Seven nailed several dragon suplexes and slams, it looked really great.Thornn was able to counter the seven star lariat into a ripcord knee, and then a popup german suplex for a great near fall. Thorne then locked in a sort of hammerlock, which Seven countered into the Seven Star Lariat for the win.

Grade: B-. The match started out very hot, and looked like it was going to go quite well, but it fell off a bit around the second half. The two worked well together, but the lack of a real story behind this hurt the match a bit, but it was still pretty entertaining.

Backstage, Jack Gallagher was interviewed about when his next appearence on NXT UK would be, to which he responded that he will talk to Johnny Saint about being added to the roster. Joseph Conners then had an interview about how he was supposed to be the gatekeeper of NXT UK, but he lost to El Ligero. Connors simply said that he had an off day, and that he is still very focused, and is only getting more vicious. 

Grizzled Young Veterans then came out to discuss their challengers, Oney Lorcan and Danny Burch. Zack Gibson just hyped the team up, saying that they are the best tag team in the world, and their NXT UK Tag Team Championships proves that. Gibson then complained about how he had to compete in the World’s Collide tournament, saying that people should be coming to England to fight them, because they want to destroy them. They then called out the #1 contenders, saying that they wanted a proper talent. Lorcan and Burch came out to confront them, and delivered a pretty basic face promo. Burch said that the competition was incredible across all the brands in WWE. Burch and Lorcan decided that they want their championship match now, but the vets backed off and said that they can’t just go around and change matches.

Grade: B. I thought this promo made perfect sense coming from Gibson. In his eyes, he has already proved that he is at the top of his brand, and he feels that he doesn’t need to prove it with a tournament. The vets seem extremely pissed off that no one is giving them the same respect as other champions, and it makes sense. I have been excited for this match for a long time, and while the faces didn’t do much to enhance that, I think that the character building for the vets goes a long way.

Finally, the main event, pitting Toni Storm against Rhea Ripley for the NXT UK Women’s Championship. As they were being announced for the match, Ripley attacked Storm, and threw her to the ground, and immediately started with a disadvantage. Ripley kept delivering great, stiff shots all over the place, and Storm’s selling was on point. Ripley continued to gain the advantage with underhanded tactics, and exploiting the highly publicized back injury that plagued Storm last year. Ripley locked in her reverse cloverleaf, and it looked absolutely brutal. Storm countered with an array of suplexes and a backstabber. After a hard fought match, Toni Storm retained her championship after a Storm Zero.

Grade: B. The character work in this match was super good. Rhea Ripley is an awesome heel, and sold her frustration and desperation throughout the match. The way she worked over the champions back throughout the match was grueling to watch. Storm too did a great job selling, and coming from behind to get the victory. They both were delivering tough shots to one another, and they easily put on the match of the night.

The card next weeks looks ridiculously stacked, with Jack Gallagher debuting in a match against Tyler Bate, WALTER challenging Kassius Ohno, and the tag team championship match. Could easily be the best WWE event next week. And I am really looking forward to it.

Final Grade: C+.

Pros: NXT UK Women’s Championship match, Grizzled Young Vet’s promo, most of Thorne vs. Seven

Cons: opening tag match could’ve been better; lack of a cohesive feel to the stories.

[evanvanness]

Annotated edition for the May 24, 2020, Week in Ethereum News

Several people this week have told me they want a “drama” section in the newsletter and have asked me to annotate the Aragon and Autark Ado this week.  

Perhaps that’s why the Aragon drama leads the most clicked list:

So why is Aragon suing its grantee?  Aragon held a vote where the community approved these grants.  Aragon now does not want to pay, claiming breach of contract - presumably that they did not believe Autark was not delivering fast enough or that products that were up to snuff.  It’s a bit hard to follow the play-by-play but at some point Aragon decided that after spending 600k of the 1.6m awarded grant, they did not want to pay any longer, so Autark threatened to sue.  Aragon offered to settle for $250k of the remaining million in grant payments, but it appears Autark rejected because Aragon would cut off the ANT incentive payments.   So Aragon sued Autark, to make sure that the case happens on its home turf in Switzerland which benefits their deep pockets versus Autark’s (now unfunded) startup budget.

For what it’s worth, I believe I voted against Autark’s first request and while I thought I voted against the second one, it turns out I didn’t vote.  There were a lot of votes in that round, and it was obviously going to pass (it passed “unanimously” with only 1 ANT voting against), so i must have decided not to spend the gas.

This all seems pretty boring, it’s just back and forth arguing over a contract, why are other people commenting on it?

1.  Aragon has a reputation for not paying people.   

It has long been an open secret in the industry that Aragon routinely doesn’t pay people in full or on time.

Grants are hard!    I can empathize with both Aragon (presumably feeling like it wasn’t getting enough ROI) and Autark (presumably thinking that a community approved grant couldn’t be secretly overturned by Jorge and Luis).  

2. Aragon sold a token for tens of millions of dollars, but after 3 years the only use for the token was a tokenholder vote.  Now, the results of those votes are unilaterally and privately discarded. 

It’s been over 3 years since Aragon raised a crazy amount of money selling a token.  In that time frame, the only use for the token has been these votes. 

If Jorge and Luis could decide by themselves to countermand the results of any of those votes without even telling the tokenholders anything, then what was the point of these votes?   Why did I waste my ETH paying gas to vote in these things?

 [Digression: They also recently released an ANJ token that you can exchange ANT for, but I don’t count being able to exchange a token for another token as utility.  After more than 3 years, I cannot think of any other possible utility for ANT.  Note: i’m very bearish on “dispute resolution by tokenholder vote”]

3.  Aragon marketing hasn’t matched Aragon actions

The Aragon Manifesto was a clarion call.  In black and white terms it paints the picture of transparency and technology as a solution for society’s problems of centralization, censorship and oppression.

Yet the rhetoric hasn’t matched the reality.  They’ve declared that Aragon is the world’s court, yet go running to Swiss courts to claim jurisdiction rather than even attempt to use Aragon Court in parallel (since they can’t possibly lose in either venue).   

They’re the rich ones with deep pockets, yet they’ve repeatedly chosen not to pay grantees who have very little leverage in negotiation (with the exception of Prysmatic after they complained).

None of it has been transparent (though of course there are often good reasons).

----

The Aragon team so far has responded to all these concerns by saying things like “you’re questioning our good intentions” or “the courts will decide”. 

It is obvious that Aragon will win in the courts.  They have the deep pockets; Autark doesn’t.  They drafted the contract, and any decent lawyer will have drafted it so Aragon can’t possibly lose.  Even if the contract somehow wasn’t one-sided, Aragon chose to run to the home field courts.  It would be shocking if they lost.

Aragon’s intentions aren’t bad; that’s not really in question.  I’m 100% sure that Jorge and Luis’s intentions are good and that any individual decision is defensible.

What is in question is their decision making overall.  When you stake your brand on “transparency” and anti-oppression, then people will feel disappointed when your brand promises do not match your actions. 

------------------------------------------------------

Enough with the drama.  As with last week, a few things I think I’d read if i were an Eth holder interested in high level things.

Carl Beekhuizen’s Eth2 keys explainer

5 things crypto can learn from Visa’s struggle for adoption in the 1970s

Brave’s anti-fingerprinting v2, available in the beta releases but coming soon in the main releases

Working in reverse order, it’s always surprising to me how little people understand how much info your browser is leaking.  Fingerprinting basically lets people figure out who you are even if you switch IP addresses, clear your browsing history, etc.  I used to work in anti-fraud, and I was surprised how often you could figure stuff out from the fingerprints.  Good for anti-fraud, but bad for privacy.  Brave is changing the game on fighting fingerprinting!

I’m old enough to remember when Visa and especially Amex were not the ubiquitous things that they are today in America.  There were some interesting parallels around their ads “think of it as money.”   The more things change, the more things stay the same.

A good Eth2 keys explainer, definitely worth reading if you’re interesting in staking.  

On to the annotations.  The stuff that I think might deserve extra comment, not necessarily the stuff I think is most important.

Eth1

Péter Szilágyi’s snap sync, and some benchmarking of snap vs fast sync

Discovery peer advertisement efficiency analysis, also applicable to eth2

Sync improvements are a big deal, as the initial sync time is one of the things that most people find daunting around running a full node.

Depending on who you are, this may not be considered sexy, but it’s an important thing for eth1 usability.

Eth2

phase 0 spec v0.12 – added latest IETF standard. This is THE spec for the eth2 launch, barring any updates for bugs

Lighthouse client update – BLS key implementation, under Trail of Bits audit, 300mb RAM to run 2000 validators

Lodestar client update – syncing to both Schlesi and Topaz testnets

Prysmatic client update – Schlesi fork post-mortem, slashing client and protection

Fizzy v0.1 – WASM interpreter written in C++

Carl Beekhuizen’s Eth2 keys explainer

There’s been plenty of talk around “this is the spec” before, so I sorta can’t blame someone who says “but you’ve already said that before!”

Basically, they were all true, but with specific exceptions.   And that’s still true - there will likely be some kind of bug or clarification found so that that this isn’t THE spec that launches the eth2 chain in a few months.  But unless something crazy happens, this spec for the eth2 chain isn’t going to change except to fix bugs.

Layer2

Fuel does a demo of Reddit’s community points in an optimistic rollup that reduces transaction fees by 60x

Loopring to pass 1 million trades on its zk rollup in just 3 months of being live

Gazelle (formerly Plasma Chamber) alpha release with an API for deposit, transfer and exit

Fuel’s demo is pretty cool.  It’s obviously just a demo - they don’t have a way to withdraw back to the testnet where Reddit’s community points are house.

Dexes continue to improve!  Using their zk rollup, Loopring has a trading experience that is just as good as a centralized exchange, but with much cheaper fees and no risk of centralized exchanges getting hacked and losing your crypto. 

This newsletter is made possible by 0x!

0x is excited to sponsor Week in Ethereum News and invite readers to try out our new DEX!

Sign up here to get early access to Matcha, your new home for fast, secure token trading.

Stuff for developers

web3js v1.2.8 with Ethers v5 ABI coder integration, ENS’s contenthash, and EIP-1193’s AbstractProvider

Mocking Solidity code with Waffle

A writeup of Solhint v3’s features

How to get randomness onchain using Chainlink’s VRF

Offchain voting for personal tokens, tutorial from Austin Griffith

Gas and circuit constraint benchmarks of binary and quinary incremental Merkle trees using Poseidon

Loopring’s new approach to generating frontend keys to sign offchain requests

Hegic had to shut down again because of an exploit that Sam Sun reported weeks beforehand

tBTC found a bug during their rollout; launch delayed

Matic’s mainnet is in the process of going live

I’ve seen some games migrate over to Matic.  

Matic is “in the process” of going live.  I note the “in the process” because I see a bunch of new blockchain projects saying that they are live, but....they aren’t really by any definition I would use.

But as I said previously in an annotated edition, it’s a process.  It’s not exactly some binary “we’re live now.”  Even Ethereum went live in July 2015 with less than full features.

Ecosystem

Tornado.cash non-custodial mixer is now trustless, with the admin function burned and the frontend available at https://tornadocash.eth.link

Ethereum Foundation q1 update, including how EF thinks about funding

Intro to dwebsites. dweb = ENS + IPFS (and equivalents)

Network usage is at an all time high. With similar use of the Eth2 chain, Ethereum will have negative issuance of ETH because part of every transaction fee is burned

I was surprised that gas usage is so high that we’d be in negative issuance if Eth2 was live.  

I’ve said before that I’m not sure how I feel about negative issuance.  On the one hand, the worry is that negative issuance means that no one has any incentive to use their ETH.  On the other hand, that’s already the reality today - hardly anyone wants to pay for anything in ETH at $200, because basically every ETH holder I know has obscenely high expectations for what the price is likely to do in the near to medium term.

Some interesting thoughts in the EF update about how EF thinks about funding.

Meanwhile it’s great to see Tornado continue to improve the trustlessness of their product.    Incredible work from the Roman S team.   (if you missed the joke, it’s because both of them are named Roman and have last names that begin with S)

Enterprise

Using Eth mainnet, Baseline Protocol privately and securely synchronizes data and business logic across SAP and Microsoft Dynamics

Hyperledger Fabric founder John Wolpert’s common sense statement on using blockchain and Ethereum mainnet

The Baseline Protocol as lean strategy

Depository Trust & Clearing Corporation’s Project Whitney using Ethereum mainnet to “support private market securities, from issuance through secondary markets”

I’m surprised by how quickly the use mainnet approach has taken hold.   If you rewind back to the last hype cycle, relatively few even considered the idea, even as enterprises were buying private chains that didn’t make much sense.  (hat tip to GridPlus CEO Mark D’Agostino’s seminal No Country for Private Blockchains article)

DAOs and Standards

Aragon sues to avoid paying grantee a community-voted grant

Exploring DAOs as a new kind of institution

MetaCartel is becoming a DAO incubator

ERC2665: ERC721 transfer fee extension

EIP2666: Repricing of precompiles and Keccak256 function

Application layer

Uniswap v2 launched, with more features – direct token pairs, price oracles, flash swaps, etc

UMA launches the ETHBTC synthetic token, so you can bet on The Flippening

idle v3 – stablecoin yield rebalancer adds dydx, USDT, and a risk-adjusted strategy

Maker changes USDC stability fee to .75% and WBTC to 1%. Also, how Dai became a favorite in Latin America

Argent launches v1 of smart contract wallet with one touch access to TokenSets,  PoolTogether,  Aave,  Uniswap V2, Compound, Maker and Kyber.

5/5 DeFi in the app layer section.  Of course what I put in the app layer section vs what I put elsewhere is certainly arbitrary.  

And hey, why isn’t Tornado Cash on DeFiPulse?  It’s got a decent amount of value locked up.

Tokens/Business/Regulation

5 things crypto can learn from Visa’s struggle for adoption in the 1970s

WBTC mints another 1500 BTC on May 21. There’s now 5200 BTC on Ethereum compared to less than 3000 BTC on Lightning and Liquid combined

Blockchain code as antitrust, Schrepel and Buterin paper

ETH to soon surpass BTC on Bitcoiners’ preferred stock-to-flow metric

Staking will turn Ethereum into a functional store of value

What’s interesting about that 3000 BTC is that Liquid is just a trusted sidechain, and it has 2200 of the 3000 BTC.   Now to be fair, WBTC definitely has some trust assumptions as well.   

Still isn’t it interesting to see BTC migrate to Ethereum, where it can be used relatively trustlessly, rather than go to Blockstream’s products? 

General

KYC puts lives at risk: BlockFi hack leaks client name, address, and crypto addresses. Similarly, a hacker claims to have exploited Shopify for Trezor and Ledger databases, though Ledger says the databases don’t match

Using zero knowledge proofs for vulnerability disclosure

World Economic Forum’s principles for a decentralized future (transparency, self-sovereign data, privacy and accountability)

JK Rowling jokes about trolling BTC because of her significant ETH holdings

The Winklevosses say they own a similar amount of ETH and BTC

Brave’s anti-fingerprinting v2, available in the beta releases but coming soon in the main releases

Using zero knowledge proofs for vulnerability disclosures is very cool.   It’s a pretty classic problem if you’re a whitehat hacker - how do you disclose the vulnerability and then trust that you get anywhere near the value back that you deserve from someone’s bug bounty program?   There are examples - even in the Ethereum space, where people should understand the value - of responsible disclosure not getting paid anything commensurate to what they deserved.

I’ll be interested to see if BlockFi suffers as a result of the hack.  They’ve certainly put at risk any whales which used their service and didn’t give a PO Box/false address/whatever.   Yet the history of database hacks even in our space is that most people just eventually return as if no hack ever happened.

Soon this annotated edition will be going paid, more details coming soon.

That’s all for this week!

Housekeeping

Follow me on Twitter @evan_van_ness to get the annotated edition of this newsletter, usually forthcoming in a day or so, as well as a real-time source of Eth news.

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Permalink: https://weekinethereumnews.com/week-in-ethereum-news-may-24-2020/

Dates of Note

Upcoming dates of note (new/changes in bold):

May 26 – last day to apply for Ethereum India fellowship

May 28 – EIP1559 implementation call

May 29 – core devs call

May 29-June 16 – SOSHackathon

June 16 – deadline to apply for Gitcoin’s Kernel incubator

[Post updated at night for accuracy.]

[saturnsovereign]

all the numbers

aight, i got nothing else to do. i’ll try to keep them less than a paragraph short tho. 

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.First, I’d have to decide my overall favorite movie, but I don’t have a Favorite ya know. But if I had to pick some, my default answer is Beauty and the Beast and Treasure Planet. I don’t really remember watching Beauty and the Beast but I do know that I loved their soundtrack. Treasure Planet, I’d seen some clips on youtube and one of them made me cry so I thought I’d check it out and man I loved it bc of the adventure and space and pirates. :D

2: Talk about your first kiss.My first kiss happened the summer of my Sophomore-Junior year of HS and its what set up the drama for Junior year. Anyway, confused feelings had been in place beforehand and I had gotten with and broke-up with my ex-bf in a little more than a month due to conflicting feelings that I realized during our band trip to Disneyland. Fast forward a few months, my friend confessed her feelings for me first over text, and I said I felt the same way. She invites me to her birthday party which was a sleepover. Once everybody fell asleep I kissed her on the cheek and I thought that would be it, but she pulled me back for a kiss on the lips… and then we had a makeout session for like the whole night. Then a few weeks pass and she dumps me. :/ What made it worse was that she held it over me for the rest of the school year since we were on the same team together. 

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.This one is easily my girlfriend. I’ve told the story about the prank and our fake dating shenanigans, but lord I fell for her so hard. I have a thing about touch, and I don’t really like it when people touch me all the time or without permission. But with her man.. her hugs–I’m shorter than her so she basically envelopes me and like I still think back to the first day I came back after That Day which was band camp weekend but man that was a good hug and we weren’t even dating yet. Sorry, I digress, but I found her so much easier to trust than everybody else I’d been with. Like with my ex-bf I was always holding back my actual feelings/pretend everything was ok and with ss I always had to watch my language, and like with both of them I never got around to fully trusting. But with her-my gf-I trusted her before we started dating and I trusted her so much more after we got together. I trust her still to this day. And with the romantic feelings bit, I’m not afraid of being a dork around her and flirt with her and hold her and god. She’s so beautiful. 

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.There’s a lot of things I regret. But I think rn, the one I can tell you is that I didn’t work hard enough in high school bc I never thought I’d make it through high school. 

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.This last one actually. Heh. I got to spend my day with my gf :)

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.I don’t really have bad birthdays, I just hate my birthdays bc I don’t like having been born. :/

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.Idk what exactly is my biggest insecurity but I’ll talk about all my other insecurities. I think I’m a horrible conversationalist, being all awkward and highly introverted. I don’t complain about my body too much but I certainly don’t celebrate it. I hate my laugh and my voice, and I don’t think my face is really anything to look at I used to think everybody just talked to me because they had no other choice but to. I feel easily replaceable and forgettable. I feel like I’m dumb af bc I’m not exactly the quickest thinker and sometimes I can’t hear people. I feel like I’m always doing the wrong thing and I stand out but not in a good way. I just feel like a good annoyance in general. 

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.I’m proud of being able to graduate high school. :/9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.I like my calves, they’re the only thing that show I have some muscle. I used to like my biceps too but they’ve deflated and there’s like no muscle there anymore. I like that my ears can do the little wiggle thingy. Also my hands can type medium-fast speed. 

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.The biggest fight I’ve had is with myself ever since I wanted to kms. But if you want an external fight, its probably the one between me and ss since that shit lasted hella long. 

11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.I don’t remember dreams unless they’re really weird.12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.Idk if you’d count it as a nightmare bc it was just super weird but I remember a dream about people getting turned it leaves, and witches, and Professor X and idk its all just a mess. 

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.The first time I had sex was in the guard room. And like it was weird bc I’ve never masturbated and stuff so I didn’t know how anything felt down there. I’ve never used a tampon by then so I’ve never had anything inserted there. Also I was pretty unaware where tf my clit was… So. My point is, there was a lot of confusing sensations but I didn’t really mind bc it was my gf who took my virginity. 

14: Talk about a vacation.I went to Lake Tahoe with my gf and her family and we did like hella romantic shit. Like we went on a stroll on the beach at night with all the constellations and we did stuff in bed and we went to an arcade and we swam and man that was a lot of fun. I was on my period tho for most of it, which sucked but. 🤷🏻‍♀️

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.I just really think about the times my gf would hold me and I’d focus on her heartbeat and the feel of her and nothing else. 16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.idk about this one. With parties, I usually get peopled out. 17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.I don’t have anyone rn since school hasn’t started yet for me and also I’m pretty anti-social. :/18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.I was known for being the most aggressive girl/team member in gym floor hockey during PE. So like, picture this, from 3rd graders to 6th graders all being in the same PE class since there were so little of us. Now imagine smaller me coming up behind a taller, older boy and ramming them into the wall in order to get the hockey puck. Also imagine smaller me, sprinting–and I was the fastest girl in my grade for a while–and practically charging at you to get that hockey puck. Needless to say, people liked being on my team. 19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.I was in 7th grade, and I had just transferred into my new school. I had been sitting alone at lunch, minding my own business, and reading a book when three girls come up to me. They introduce themselves and invite me to sit at lunch with them. They really helped. 

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.For my final english project in senior year, we had to do a live acting of Romeo and Juliet. I was in the odd ones out group and it had a bunch of people who would never be in a group together unless they were forced to- which we were. I had done all the preparation for the script, it was like two days before the final date and we agreed to meet at the park’s ampitheater to do a final run together. I had just come back from performing at a parade and lord I was tired. We were fighting about how things were supposed to go a lot. 

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.During 8th grade, I got transferred into another PE class since I signed up for creative writing and there was only one period of it. I don’t remember how, but I eventually became friends with this scrawny kid named Tiger.. no joke. Anyway, I distinctly remember one time we were sitting inside on some bleachers and there were those jerk-y middle school boys behind us and they started picking on him. I remember looking at them and like telling something along the lines of back off. Anyway, skipping to 8th grade dance, I was with my friends when Tiger came along and asked for me to slow dance with him. I did. He was the second person I slow danced with. After a few slow dances my friends were making fun of me for it, but like not bc of him, more that someone asked me to slow dance and they were like poking harmless fun. Thing was, I knew he had a crush on me but I really didn’t return the feelings. Moving on to freshmen year, he calls up my mom due to bowditch directory, and asked me to go to the movies with him. I had to turn him down. 22: Talk about your worst fear.My worst fear, there are a good few fears that tie for that spot. My first one is my fear of abandonment and like disappointing everyone to the point that they just realize its better to go on without me. To an extent, its my fear of being forgotten. My second one, the fear of myself, or rather my intrusive thoughts, and being faced with all things I’ve done and thought, knowing everything that’s happened is my fault and getting confirmation of that. Fear that I’d hurt someone because of something I did. The third one is losing everything that matters to me. 

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.Let’s just talk about my “breakup” with SS during Sophomore-Junior summer bc it was kinda shitty. The reason its in quotations is bc is it actually a break-up if you were never officially together in the first place. Like, the details get muddled up but she essentially told me over text. I remember this because I was just coming back from working on my drum major routine over the summer, I was on a bridge when I got the text. Something along the lines of her parents and her religion and stuff. It really sucked bc it was before I would leave for guard camp and the people who were going with me had shipped both me and her together. :/

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.There was one time in Brentwood and one time after SCVC camp. But thats between me and her.

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.For the 4th time today, I’m talking about SS. Like c’mon universe really? Anyway, she was a best friend but honestly man, she wasn’t even the best of my friends. She was a close friend, but she wasn’t the best friend. It didn’t help that I had had a crush on her for half the time before our really bad and long ass fight. 26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.I just realized I haven’t been properly sick in a while like sick with a fever so I actually have to stay in bed. Like I’d usually get like sniffles and a cough but I’d be okay for the day. So like, I like piling myself in blankets and hide from the world really. 

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.The eyes will always get me. Take that and add a smile, and bruh. Thats beauty. 

28: Talk about your fetishes.Forgive me, but I had to search these up bc I didn’t know what exactly counted as a fetish. So like if something isn’t a fetish just like.. tell me or something. So like BDSM like light bondage and blindfold and stuff. Strap-on. Dom/Sub stuff and like orgasm control/denial? Are hickies considered a fetish? I’m reading here something about being bitten but idk if that means voyeurism or like vampire roleplay or if they mean hickies. 

29: Talk about what turns you on.My gf ;) But like kissing. Neck and ear biting/nibbling.  Dry humping. Hair pulling- moreso bc of my haircut. Teasing. When my gf is being really dominant. Also when my gf is being really submissive and her moans. ;D

30: Talk about what turns you off.Those gifs of porn when you’re searching up a tag on tumblr and like bruh, I just wanted to see a pic about like puppy i didn’t need to see some bondage gay puppy roleplay like c’mon!

31: Talk about what you think death is like.A rest from the thoughts in your head. Quiet. The final escape. Maybe you get a second chance. That the next universe you experience, you’re in control, that you get to relive your life but better the next time around.  

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.I remember the first time I stepped foot in the Post Office in my hometown/childhood city. It looked different from the PO in place where we used to live. It was made of bricks and it looked really cool. I’ve only gone in once or twice but I remember all the PO boxes and the wooden shelves and getting to learn how to send a letter. Idk why exactly I remember this but yeah. 

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.Depends how sad I am. Sometimes I try to distract myself, sometimes I just stew in those thoughts. If its night, then I have a good chance of crying myself to sleep.

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.Idk when I get leg cramps in the middle of the night. It used to happen all the time during Sophomore and Junior year and I’d feel it throughout the day. 

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.Living. heh. Procrastinating and being depressed. 

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.ml and pr. shhhh

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.5th time. Hopefully my last time talking about her. The reason that what happened between us hurt so much was bc I thought I was in love with her once. That’s why every time she’d shove a crush of hers in my face or something that I’d forgive her. But I got tired of it and waiting for her. I moved on. And it was a good decision bc I now have someone I really am in love with. But she didn’t like it, and apparently she had still “loved” me by letting me go, but thats just bullshit. That’s just bullshit. 

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.I have a whole playlist for my gf. And then there’s No by Meghan Trainor that my friend really hates XD

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.That I’d make it through HS and graduate. Maybe I could have built something up rather than assume I wouldn’t make it. 

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.It was my birthday, so it was the end of me being that age I was before. 

[trksterlokid]

August

Words: 6486

Based on dialogue prompt: “All that bravado, all those witty comebacks… Just to hide how terrified you really are.”

In a flurry of blood and black eyes, your world had turned upside down. Finals week of medical school was a celebratory thing, which was how you had let yourself get dragged into a party. The entire thing had been your roommate’s idea. Your last finals had been the day prior and she assured you that it was time to sit back and relax. So instead of sitting in your bedroom, binging Netflix, you dressed yourself in a little black dress and heels and took shots.

Everything was going great, you didn’t have a care in the world. Then the screams started. At first it sounded like part of the party scene, everyone else sent up a cheer in response. But when that died down, the original scream was left and it broke off into a sob before the entire room went silent. Everyone froze. Then, all at once, everyone started running.

Your own heart was pounding so hard the blood was rushing in your ears. There was no telling what was going on but your instincts knew whatever it was, was life or death. Your own mind wouldn’t comprehend how dire the situation was until later.

The door had been all the way across the room and it felt like you were running towards it in slow motion. Out of the corner of your eyes you could see people falling, climbing over one another in order to escape. Someone rammed into you from the side and you caught yourself, pushing forward to the doors only to find them locked. They were all locked and everyone was trapped inside the horror house. Looking desperately to the world outside a glass door and instead you find a reflection of someone standing behind you, their eyes black as the night outside.

Somehow the scream you were holding inside of you didn’t rip from your throat. Instead you duck back through the crowd, kicking off your heels so you could run. You felt something hot and sticky squelch between your toes, heavily saturated into the carpet but you don’t stop to look. You didn’t think you wanted to know what it was. Instead, you find a coat closet, slipping into the darkness and locking the door behind you, barricading it, and pressing yourself to the back wall behind the jackets hung up from the unusually chilly spring night. Sobs are muffled behind your hand and you wait. At one point someone or something is banging at the door, begging you to let them in, but you’re frozen in place.

It could have been hours or minutes until the sounds die down. But time seemed to play out differently. When it happened, the silence wasn’t complete. There were sounds like crying and groaning, but it was silent enough. No more screams, no more thuds of what you assumed to be bodies falling to the floor. Yet you still didn’t move. You were far too afraid of what might be waiting for you on the other side of the door.

Out of the silence, there was a knock at your door. Then someone tried to turn the handle. You couldn’t see it, but you could hear it and you pressed further back into the corner, trying to hide yourself. The air in your lungs couldn’t seem to get in fast enough and your nails bit into your palms. Someone was calling out, but you couldn’t make out words from the sound of static in your ears. A crack split the tension in the air and despite yourself you let out a sob, feet scrambling to push you further away from whoever was entering your safe place. When the coats in front of you parted your sobs turned into screams as you panicked, clawing at the arms that tried to hold you down.

“Hey! Hey, calm down. It’s okay. I’m with the police,” the man in front of you called out. It was a man. Your eyes focused enough to try to take him in. Brown shaggy hair, dressed in a suit and coat, and hazel eyes. Not black. “It’s over. You’re okay. Come on, let me help you out,” he offered you his hands and your legs shook as they struggled to hold your weight. He held you for a second, rubbing your back as you pressed your face into his chest, trying to steady yourself. Then he was guiding you out and some morbid part of you dared to peek around the room.

Immediately you wished you hadn’t. There was blood everywhere, you could even smell the stench of iron and something that smelled like rotten eggs. The man who was guiding you quickly pressed your face back into his chest. “Don’t look, just keep your eyes closed. I’ve got you,” he whispered. But it was too late. The last thing you saw of the house were the eyes of your roommate, cold and dead, her throat slit as she slumped over the back of the couch.

Other people, officers had been scattered around the yard and the house. They were calling it a massacre. Someone on drugs. Or a gang. But you knew better, and the man in the suit, and another whom he called his partner, believed you. There was something about them that you trusted. They were all knowing it seemed, wise beyond their years.

Those two were the first introduction you had to the world of the supernatural, the monsters under your bed and in your nightmares. The taller of the two, Sam, had been the one to find you in the closet. He’d also been the one to talk his brother, Dean as you soon learned, into telling you about the real world, the one you’d never seen. Then, before they left town they’d given you their numbers.

“In case of emergency,” Dean had said gruffly, shoving the card into your palm. You had nodded silently, almost dreading them leaving. After all, you still had the aftermath of the party to deal with, trying to pick up the pieces of your now broken life.

The following months consisted of nightmares of that night, therapy sessions, and trying to find a job to no avail. No one wanted a traumatized medical intern who upon seeing blood would start hyperventilating. Your life since that night, had hit a point of no return. Or so it felt like. On top of that, you couldn’t get the paranoia of monsters out of your head. You always though that something was off. Research didn’t do you much good since every article pointed in an entirely different direction.

This led you to staring at the numbers in your phone, tongue sliding over dry lips. It wasn’t an emergency, but you couldn’t live like this. So you opted for Sam’s number. He’d been alarmed at first until you clarified. You found your situation to be embarrassing at first to explain to the man who seemed to know it all about what you’d been dealing with. But Sam was understanding and kind, and then he made you an offer you couldn’t refuse.

Dean hadn’t been happy at first about you moving into the bunker. Another mouth to feed, another person to protect from whatever happened there. But he was quick to warm up, especially once he found out you had a knack for baking pie, and your medical history came in handy on more than one occasion. Though the pie was probably his favorite thing.

Pie seemed to be your handiest thing. It was all domestic work it seemed. Cleaning, cooking, all of the stuff the boys were never around to do. That’s how you earned your keep. You couldn’t shoot a gun, and going through book upon book was easy for you, but fairly helpless since you knew next to nothing about the basics. But you were learning on both. Sam would sit down with you while he was home and would teach you what he could, answering any questions you had. Meanwhile, Dean tried to teach you how to shoot and fight. You had a steady hand and good eye, as a medical student tended to, so you were fairly good but you could always use some practice and for the moment, Dean didn’t want you in the range while he wasn’t there to supervise. You figured that was fair enough since you kept forgetting to keep the safety on. So you cooked, you cleaned, you tried to make their lives easier.

It was late one night on a baking spree that you met him. You’d been up for hours, your schedule being rather screwed up from the darkness of the bunker, and it was nearly three in the morning. So you’d been baking. Muffins, cookies, a pie or two for Dean. You were currently in the middle of some croissants when you heard a fluttering behind you. Normally you presumed it to be Cas, the third of the trio of hunters. Well, technically, Cas was an angel. But they were a team, a family even. He stopped by frequently to check in with you and the brothers. However, looking up, you caught your gaze on a striking man in a green army jacket, blonde hair swept back, and whiskey colored eyes admiring a cookie that he was already munching on.

You weren’t sure if you should be scared or agitated by this presence and you froze where you were. The brothers had certainly never mentioned an angel like him before. He finished off the cookie in your silence before brushing the crumbs from his hands, using the thighs of his jeans, then licking off the chocolate that had stuck to his bottom lip. “Compliments to the chef,” his voice was like honey and he finally glanced up at you, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “Oh what’s that look for? You never seen an archangel before? Don’t tell me the boys haven’t told you about me,” he sighed and shook his head.

“They aren’t here right now, if you’re looking for them,” you muttered, mouth dry. It wasn’t until after the words escaped your lips that you realized you probably shouldn’t be telling the guy you were here alone. “Wait... archangel?” Your eyebrows raised in curiosity. “As in Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel-”

“Gabriel, at your service,” he gave a play bow. “But you can call me Gabe.” He winked before grabbing up another cookie and you wanted to complain but you weren’t sure who was going to finish all of them anyways. “Is this your job around here? Regular house service for the Winchesters.”

“Just until I learn how to handle my own in the field,” you pressed your lips into a thin line at the remark and he raised his hands up in defense.

“Whatever you say, sweet cheeks. I’ll come back later, hopefully when the boys get back.”

Part of you wanted to huff out that you hoped he didn’t but before you could even dwell on it he’d disappeared again.

That was the first time you saw him, but it certainly wasn’t the last. The first few months you’d been around he’d been a no show, then after that first time it was like clockwork every week. Whether the boys were around or not.

Dean had made it very clear he wasn’t okay with Gabe popping in when they weren’t there, but of course Gabe couldn’t have cared less about the elder brother’s threats. Despite yourself, sometimes you couldn’t either. It was really a love hate relationship in a lot of ways. He was snarky, an asshole at times, pushing you to your limits and beyond. But he could be sweet too, and not just when you were baking.

One time he’d shown up while you were in the middle of a nasty flu. You’d been bedridden for longer than you would have liked and hadn’t changed in days. When he’d shown up you hadn’t even heard him from your room and he’d searched all over until he found you in bed, shivering despite the covers pulled tight around you. His eyes had been filled with what you assumed was concern as he sat on the edge of your bed.

“You’re sick,” he’d breathed out as he gave you a once over and you narrowed your eyes as much as you could manage without your head throbbing.

“No shit,” you muttered, throat aching with effort.

Gabriel hadn’t made any sort of retort at that which was surprising. Sometimes you didn’t understand how so much sarcasm could fit inside of him. He wasn’t short compared to you by any means, but compared to the winchesters it seemed like it. But there were no witty comments or side notes. Instead he silently reached over, brushed back your hair and pressed his palm to your forehead. At first you were more than confused as to what he was doing, until you felt warmth spreading through your body and you gasped. Usually Gabe used his angel mojo with a snap of his fingers which you assumed he did because it looked cool. Of course this time had been different. He’d been gentle, and it had been personal.

He’d left soon after that, but you couldn’t help yearn for the tenderness he’d shown you that night. Many times you caught yourself thinking about him. How, if he’d stop insulting you throughout the day, and started acting like the guy... or angel you knew he could be, then you’d probably fall for him. Fast and hard at that. But the other seemed oblivious about your thoughts and continued to pester you.

In fact, the nuisances seemed to get stronger the longer he knew you. He always had something to say, and it started off small, with the shoes you wore, or the way you put your feet up on the coffee table despite him doing the same damn thing. But it was getting worse, more personal. You’d found yourself, more than once, feeling a little injured by what he’d said to you and although you brushed it off in front of everyone, when you were alone you couldn’t help running the words through your head over and over, trying to discern how much of them were true.

All of it came to a head, late one fall night. The boys were both home and you were in the kitchen, once again baking. It was nearing Halloween and pumpkin everything seemed to be laid out on the counters of the kitchen. Your baking was one thing Gabriel never criticized and while he was in the other room talking about something with the boys, you busied yourself in here, hoping to avoid any comments today. You’d had a low day already, starting by waking yourself up early that morning in a nightmare.

For a long time the nightmares had stopped but after an attempt at the boys bringing you along on the case, they started coming back. Things hadn’t worked out so well and despite having stayed behind to do research, you’d found yourself at the hands of yet another demon. This time you knew what it was and despite having the feeling that it was there to use you rather than kill you, your fears were unparalleled. You had never been given your own demon killing knife and an angel blade was much too heavy to be properly balanced in your hand until you trained more. So you were at the mercy of the demons, and the boys once they broke down the hotel door to rescue you like you were some damsel in distress. It was enough having to have them save you once, but twice seemed like overkill. Especially when you couldn’t return the favor.

So the nightmare had woken you and you’d been too afraid to go to sleep. You’d gone down to the gym to work over the punching bag a few times, but with the boys gone so often you didn’t really ever get to train anymore. You read all the books you could in the library, and you research game was better than ever. Sometimes the guys would call you on a hunt so you could actually help out. But without someone there to guide you, you couldn’t practice shooting, or hand to hand anything. It was a feeling of complete uselessness that left you downtrodden after that. From there it was like all of the things that had been afflicting you were just dog piling on emotionally. Something small would throw itself on top, you were sure, and you’d just break.

Which was why you were focusing on baking. You could focus on the smell of pumpkin. Halloween used to be one of your favorite holidays. Of course it was all different now that you knew the monsters little kids dressed up as were real. But some of it still made you happy and pumpkin was certainly one of the things.

After pulling out a tray of pumpkin tarts you set them on the oven to cool, slipped the mitts off your hands and leaned back against the counter, closing your eyes and taking deep breaths of the spiced scent. It was almost like if you could breathe deep enough then it would become a permanent smell, wherever you went. You felt your shoulders relax and rested your head back against the cabinets, a small smile forming on your face.

“Something smells good,” a voice broke through your moment and you simultaneously felt a sense of pride and one of dread. But you forced it back down and opened your eyes, meeting Gabe’s as he reached for one of the tarts. You slapped his hand away with a small tsk.

“Not yet, I just pulled them out of the oven,” you scolded.

“I’m an angel. They won’t burn me,” he rolled his eyes and reached again. Once more you slapped his hand away with an eye roll of your own.

“Yes, I realize that. But I just want to enjoy seeing them for a minute before you start eating them alright? Go try some of the muffins. They’re still warm, and extra moist!” You pointed him towards the tray on the other side of the kitchen.

“I hate the word moist...” he groaned.

“Yes, but you don’t hate muffins.”

“I’ll give you that,” he offered you a smile and walked across to grab one from the tin. For a moment you thought that for once this month you were going to have a good experience with him. It was a nice though while it lasted. “You know, I’m glad you were never any good in the field. That means you can stay here and bake more. I’m sure the boys love you cleaning up their messes too.”

It was an offhanded comment that came as you put a spoon into the sink and were beginning to wash it. But as soon as the words left his mouth you dropped the spoon back in, turned the water off and turned to face him.

“Excuse me?” Your eyebrows furrowed, nose wrinkled in annoyance.

“What? It’s not some kind of secret. When I first saw you, you said this was only temporary. I guess we both know better. Some people are just... better in the field, and some... well they aren’t,” he shrugged.

“It is temporary. Dean’s just always too busy anymore to train me,” you huffed.

“Yeah, we’ll see how that goes for you.” There was a snort the echoed from him and somehow made your pulse rise.

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

Gabe observed you for a moment over his muffin as he polished it off and snapped his fingers, making the wrapper disappear. “Don’t think the boys didn’t mention the little incident when they last took you out. You couldn’t even pull yourself together. You think they’d ever let you out hunting demons?” he laughed dryly and at the word demons you flinched. You weren’t sure if it was from memories, or from the way Gabe nearly spat it at you. “See, you can’t even hear the word without getting all worked up. You just weren’t made for fighting. You can’t defend yourself, you still don’t know half of what there is to know about the world of monsters and whatever. I honestly don’t know why the brothers even took you in.”

Okay, that stung. You dropped the dishtowel you’d been using to dry your hands on the countertop and took a moment to debate what you wanted to say. Slowly, then all at once words came rushing out of you before you could stop them. “At least I have enough courage to try. That’s what you lack. Courage, balls, whatever you want to call it. They’ve told me tons of stories about you too, how you tried to get them to fight so you wouldn’t have to, hiding yourself from your family because you were scared. Yeah, well I’m scared too but at least I try to help. I’m not just going to sit back on the sidelines and watch the world burn because when God made me he didn’t forget the backbone. And I don’t’ have time to listen to spineless angels who think they run the joint.” Your arms crossed over your chest, letting the venom fall from your lips. Gabriel had hurt you for the last time, and you wanted him to know what it felt like.

And for a moment, the look on his face was all the satisfaction you needed. Then it changed, morphed into something terrifying that you knew you didn’t want to face. The expression on your own face slipped as you backed up a bit.

“You have the audacity to talk to me about courage?” he took a step towards you, face hard, eyes even harder as they held you in a glare. “Who’s the one who came running to the Winchesters to fix all your problems? Who’s the one who hid in a closet while their friends were slaughtered instead of trying to fight. Don’t think I don’t know about when you were hiding in that closet, and someone was banging on the door, pleading for you to let them in, to help them, and you sat there and let them die on the other side,” his words taunted you and reached places you hadn’t dared to tell anyone about. “The guilt is all over you, it’s in your head screaming so loud, how could I not hear it?” his backed you up further and you took a little step to the side. “You’re the one who worked your whole life to become a doctor, only to throw it all the way because the sight of blood makes you sick. If anyone’s spineless, it’s you. I’ve known a lot of humans in my day, a lot of bad ones, but I think you’re the most pathetic.”

The rushing in your ears was back as he cornered you in. Fight or flight instincts took on a mind of their own. First you tried to flee. Reaching back behind you as you tripped over his foot your hand landed right on the hot pan you’d just stuck on the oven. You cried out in pain, falling to the floor as your palm seared. Then he was reaching down for you. There were tears on your face now and you weren’t sure if it was from the panic, the pain, or his words. But when you saw him reaching for you, you did the only other thing you could think of. Your good hand came up, slapping him across the cheek as hard as you could before you scrambled to your feet and booked it to your room. You weren’t sure when the brothers had gotten there, but you passed them on the way to your room, watching like it was some television soap opera gone bad.

Emotions were flooding you in so many forms. You slammed the door closed behind you and locked it, crawling into your bed and underneath the covers, despite being extra warm from being in the kitchen earlier. Something in you just needed the illusion of safety they brought. Grabbing them, you hissed in pain and looked back down at your palm.

It was already red as if a layer of skin had been left on the pan though you knew better. The area was swelling slightly and you knew it was going to blister. Common sense and medical training told you that you should run it under cold water, apply some antibiotic cream and bandage it. However, all of those required you to leave your room.

Meanwhile, Gabriel was standing stricken back in the kitchen, both brothers giving him admonishing glares. One hand went up to his face. Naturally the slap hadn’t hurt his face in the least bit, but it was more or less the fact that you had slapped him at all that left him dumbstruck.

“I’m gonna go check on her. You get him out of here,” Dean growled, sending a ruinous glare in Gabe’s direction. He turned on his heel, heading back towards your room.

Sam stood there, the anger clear in his own expression. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you, but I think it’s time you leave.” His arms were crossed tightly against his chest, just as your own had been moments earlier.

Gabe’s gaze lingered in space for a moment before his eyes settled back on Sam. “Sam... I...” he muttered, seemingly in shock. “I didn’t mean that.”

“It sounded like you meant it. I don’t know what she ever did to you to make you think that picking on her like that is okay. It’s one thing when you do it to us and find stupid shit to poke fun at, but you don’t do that with her. You dig and dig until you find something you know will upset her.”

“No, I don’t. I don’t want to hurt her, dumbass,” Gabe’s face changed again into indignation.

“Well you do a shit poor job of avoiding that. You need to leave,” Sam’s chin jutted out a little even as he glared down at the angel.

“I... she was hurt. I need to go check on her,” Gabe shook his head and started to march past Sam who simply sidestepped to block him.

“Are you really stupid enough to think that she’s going to let you in that room right now? Dean will check on her.”

For a moment, Gabe though of Sam’s words and his face went slack because he knew Sam was right. There was no way you’d want to see him. Not now, probably not ever again. He stood there, frozen, in the kitchen.

Sam meanwhile was studying him, reading him like an open book. “Don’t even tell me...” he huffed out, almost angered by the prospect. “You like her, don’t you?” his eyes narrowed. It was easy enough to see from the pain in his eyes at the mention of you not wanting to see him. Gabe didn’t deflate easily, but Sam had known him long enough to know he was deflated them. He’d seen it once before when they’d forced him to talk about his family the first time, right after they found out who he was. Something touchy and personal. Just thinking about it gave way to another clue.

“You’re afraid of rejection, aren’t you? That’s why you act like that. Because that’s what you do. All that bravado, all those witty comebacks... Just to hide how terrified you really are.” Sam shook his head. “It’s just like the apocalypse all over again, all those games you had to play until we finally got you to admit what your motive was. I can’t believe you haven’t learned since then...”

“Sam, I have to talk to her,” Gabe finally spoke. He could easily just snap himself around the hunter, or even directly into your room if he really wanted. But he didn’t. For some reason he felt the need to do this the right way.

“It’s not gonna be that easy. I’m pretty sure Dean would stab you on the spot if he saw you even try to get close to her room,” Sam was almost amused now at that prospect.

“Then at least let me heal her. Dean can check on her, but he can’t heal her. I saw what happened,” Gabe pressed and Sam’s mouth twisted in thought before stepping out of the angel’s way.

“It’s your funeral,” he shrugged. Gabe didn’t respond to that. Instead he made his way to your room, silent, and cautious.

You hadn’t even been locked in your room for a full minute before there was a knock at your door. At first you didn’t even respond, hoping that whoever it was would just go away. But they didn’t.

“Y/N, hey, it’s me,” Dean’s voice was soft, just as gruff as it always was but in the sweetest way.

“Really don’t want to talk right now,” you called out, trying to catch your breath.

“Good thing I don’t need you to talk. Just open the door for me okay?”

You wanted to argue but at the same time you felt empty and lonely inside and part of you lifted at the thought of Dean being there for you. So you slid out of bed, unlocked the door and climbed back in before Dean walked in.

The lights to your room were off so he wouldn’t be able to see your tear stained face, especially when you were laying down with your back turned to him. You heard the door open, and his sigh as he made his way over and sat down on the edge of your bed.

“You know what he said isn’t true right?” Dean ran a hand down your back. You resisted relaxing into the touch for a moment before you sighed and nodded.

“I know...”

“I’m sorry I’m not around more to help you. I know I promised I’d teach you to do these things and I’m always gone,” he shook his head. “That’s on me. And that bastard shouldn’t be using it against you.”

Dean had a tendency to blame himself for things. It hadn’t taken you long to figure that out after you arrived. He’d beat himself up silently for days and you weren’t going to let this turn into one of those situations. So you sat up, turned on your bedside lamp and turned around to face him.

“It’s not your fault either. Some people aren’t born to fight. Maybe that’s just me. After all, I went to medical school. I want to save lives. Maybe I just morally can’t take them,” you smiled a little at the thought and Dean smiled too, wrapping his arms around you and tucking your head under his chin. You sat there for a little bit, calming down. Then Dean was letting you go and you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear as you sighed.

“How about I go grab some of the pumpkin pie out there and we can share it huh? Don’t even have to leave your bed. I know we have a new can of whipped cream out in the fridge,” Dean offered and you grinned, looking up at him, about to tell him how good that sounded when you caught sight of the figure standing in the doorway.

You pursed your lips, looking away and shifting just slightly closer to Dean. Dean himself noticed where your eyes fell, how your expression changed and he glanced up. Before you knew what was happening, Dean had stood up, in front of you, blocking your view of the angel in the doorway and vice versa.

“I though we told you to go. I think you’ve done enough here,” Dean started making his way to the door and from behind him you could hear the other’s reply.

“I just... I feel bad-”

“Oh look, maybe the tin man has a heart after all,” Dean snorted.

“I want to heal her hand. She hurt herself. I’m the only one right now who can do it, just let me see her,” Gabe’s voice rose a little.

You turned your palm back over again, watching the shiny red patch that was oozing slightly, wet already as it was preparing to blister. It did hurt. Nothing was going to stop the pain except for Gabe right now since Cas had gone off on his own little adventure and the boys had no clue where he was.

“Let him in,” you called out and they both went silent from where they had started bickering while you were in thought. Dean turned around, silently asking if you were sure once more. “My hand hurts. I’d rather have him heal it than have to suffer, it’s the least he can do.”

Dean seemed mildly satisfied by this answer but shot a warning glare to the archangel before leaving the two of you alone. Gabriel didn’t move from his spot despite having begged Dean to let him in.

“You said you were going to heal my hand,” you held it up pointedly and he stepped inside, closing the door behind himself. “What are you trying to-”

“Stop. Please. I have something that I need to say,” Gabe sat himself at the foot of your bed, a good distance away.

“I think you’ve said quite enough to me. Not just today, but every damn time you come here,” you set your jaw, watching him carefully.

“You’re right,” he nodded and averted his gaze, looking down at his own hands. “You’re more than right. Not just about this but... what you said about me. I’m a coward. I can’t stand my own and I hurt the people I care about because I don’t know how to let them into my life. I’m... terrified.”

“What are you talking about?”  

“You, I’m talking about you,” his voice cracked into a whisper and he managed to glance up at you from the edge of the bed. “I met you, and you were funny, and you made the best damn pastries I’ve had in a long time. I don’t feel like I can let people near me because if they know who I am, then they’ll realize I’m not all that great. I’m not worth any of it. And I couldn’t handle that from you. So I played stupid kindergarten games, like when parents tell their daughters a boy hits them because they like them. That’s no way to show anyone you care about them and I hurt you. I didn’t think... I didn’t know I always upset you so much. But today? I saw it. And you were scared of me. The look you gave me, made me feel like I was the monster. I haven’t felt that way in a long time. I don’t like it.”

“I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say to that,” you replied. What did apologies mean? Sure he’d never apologized to you before, and he surely never looked like he did right at that moment, like a puppy who’d just been dropped off at the pound.

“Nothing,” he shook his head. “I don’t expect you to say anything. I just... I wanted to give you an explanation. I know it’s not a good one, but the truth isn’t always great. And neither am I. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that, and I never meant for you to get hurt either,” his eyes landed on your hand that you’d been cradling in your other.

Despite knowing that Gabe could easily heal you from where he was, you voluntarily held out your hand to him. He let his eyes flash between your hand and your own gaze and when you gave him a small nod he scooted closer and took it in his hand. At first it burned, the rough feeling of his calloused palm scraping against your own wounded one. But then it was warm and it was like being burned but in reverse, ending in a cool spot where your wound had just been. Gabe immediately went to pull his hand back, but you held on, looking up at him.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have said what I did either. I wanted to hurt you, to make you have a taste of your own medicine. And that was wrong of me. You aren’t who you used to be. That’s why you’re always here, helping Sam and Dean. You’re not sitting on the sidelines anymore, you go out and you help people. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still upset, but I forgive you. And Gabe?” you said softly, waiting until he looked at you. “You shouldn’t worry so much about feeling like people won’t want you around. I’ve known about you for a long time, about what happened. That didn’t stop me from wanting to impress you. Why do you think I still bake all the time? It would be a waste if no one came around to eat them all. Even Dean doesn’t have an appetite that big.”

“So, if I ask you out properly, will you say yes?” Gabe’s face brightened a little, a bit of his cocky attitude coming back through.

“On one condition,” you held up a finger to pause him.

“Anything,” he was quick to nod.

“You have to prove to me that you’re gonna change. I can’t do this if you’re gonna keep going around and throwing out insults. That’s not how a relationship works.”

“Most women wouldn’t even give me a chance after what I did, there’s no way in hell I’m going to blow this. I promise,” he was full on grinning at this point. “I’ll make it up to you. I’ll tell you everything that I think is perfect about you. You might be the doctor that knows how to fix broken arms, and broken ribs, but I know how to fix broken hearts,” he smiled.

“Is this some kind of Dr. Sexy M.D. reference? Because usually you have to buy me a drink first...”

“No, of course not. I mean unless you want to-” he cut himself off at your look and he nodded. “We can start with eating all that stuff you baked out there and watching movies all night long. That’s kind of a date right?”

“See now you’re just trying to give me a stomach ache,” you teased him, a half smile on your face.

“I would never,” he laughed and you just shook your head.

“Okay, one dessert. Your choice,” you conceded. “Anything but the pie of course. That’s already promised to Dean.”

@revwinchester, @gabriel-monthly-challenge, @lacqueluster, @ashiewesker, @archangel-with-a-shotgun

[grapsandclaps]

GRAPS AND CLAPS REVIEWS - PCW 'ROAD TO GLORY' 2019

Hello and welcome to this edition of Graps and Claps, this time taking me to Blackpool for PCW’s Road to Glory weekender with what was advertised of being two tournaments taking place with the Singles on Saturday and the Tag Team tournament on the Sunday. However, in a change to the advertised schedule there was a removal of the tag tournament probably due to the non-availability of suitable tag combinations. In its place on the Sunday we instead had a TV style taping session for PCW’s new show on the Fight Network which will be launched in the coming weeks. Also being televised will be the Road to Glory Singles Tournament which involved a total of 16 wrestlers – with 8 First Round matches, followed by the Quarters, Semi-Finals and Final all on one enormous day of wrestling.

Now how we are going to do this as it was a ram-packed weekend of grappling action, is to run you through some of the highlights on show and also take you into detail about the Blackpool beer scene or lack of thereof. Arriving into Blackpool at 12 Noon, after a journey of two and half hours coming from my house to Manchester and then to the seaside mecca, we met up with Andrew Campbell who we had been with at the PCW show in Leeds the night before (this will be reviewed by our Geoff later in the week).

With a small amount of time before the show started, we were planning to visit a local real ale choice in the form of The Pump and Truncheon, sadly though this was closed due to a refurbishment. So Instead we plumped for The Castle (a proper Geezer Pub), which looks inviting from the outside, but once you are inside it reminds you of a weekend away in Magaluf with a packed pub full of tourists dancing away to DJ Otzi, getting pissed on gassy lager whilst listening to the styling’s of Joe Curran’s Marmite Show – think of him as Blackpool’s answer to Bernard Manning handing out sharp barbs to anyone daring to walk past him to the toilets, so sharp were these barbs he had to have a bouncer stand next to him in-case anyone decided to spark him out!.

With the 1st PCW show starting at 1pm, we made our way to the venue with what I would say around 100 in attendance for the first show, meaning those who had bought the cheaper tickets got moved forward into the VIP front row seats, so lucky for me I could stretch my legs for the duration for 3 out of the 4 shows. In general, the attendance was around the same level for all 4 shows with Show 2 and Show 4 providing the larger crowds which was a shame. However, with that said and it can’t be denied is that PCW produced 4 solid shows on this weekend – so let’s start with the show 1.

Best matches:

Jeff Cobb vs Tom Lawler – A masterclass in grappling and the pure wrestling style with Olympic trained wrestler and current ROH TV Champion Jeff Cobb taking on the current MLW Champion, Tom Lawlor. If you like your wrestling full of Suplex variations from both guys, plus hard lariats this was the one for you with the former UFC star Lawlor getting the victory with a rear naked choke on Cobb to advance to the next round in around 15 minutes and for me the best match of the 4 shows taking place in Blackpool. Lawlor is easily someone I can see like a certain Matt Riddle who can reach that top level in the world of wrestling, as he has done in the world of MMA.

Sheikh El-Sham vs Philip Michael – Two of PCWs standouts from the Academy, took to the squared circle in the match before the interval and once again they proved why they are both so highly rated by many people on the local scene. One constant you will read through this report is how good Sheikh El-Sham is getting nowadays from a character and an all-round package standpoint – from the promos, the sneers and subtle winding-up of the crown, plus a look of someone who can go very far in his wrestling career – he is coming off with that star quality. Philip has a star quality from a wrestling standpoint, but I do feel he needs that little bit of pizazz added to his repertoire ala Zack Sabre Jr to push to that next level, but that will come with time. What would become Philip’s downfall in this match, would be played out for the rest of the weekend, as he went to leap at Sham, but on landing he jarred his knee – something that both Sheikh El-Sham and Tel Banham would target on the other shows.

Another thing to point out from this match, would be the first appearance of Referee, Mark Alexander Price who the previous evening cost T-Bone winning the PCW Heavyweight Title off of Tel Banham, by reversing a decision a replacement ref made whilst Price was knocked down. The story with Price was that being hinted was he the main heel group ‘The Buyout’ paid off official in which he would somehow always get in the way of The Buyout’s opponent and in turn costing them the match with his biased officiating. As a weekend long story, this was fantastically done with every time that Price made his entrance to the ring he got mercifully booed from the crowd in attendance.

As per this match, Price got in Philip Michael’s way causing Phil to be caught with the roll-through spear by Sham who advanced to the next round to the jeers of the audience. Before this match we had an appearance during an interview segment by Tel Banham who challenged Philip to a Cruiserweight title match that would take place later on in the second show due to Philip being eliminated – more on that later!

Sugar Dunkerton vs MJF – Plenty of shenanigans in this one with Sugar riling up MJF by nicking his Burberry scarf and duly wiping his arse with it. MJF who impressed when he was over last May, was once excellent again as the cocky ‘Better than You’ antagonist compared to the fun-loving Dunkerton who had the crowd firmly on his side on this what was the 1-year anniversary of his first tour of the UK. Unfortunately for Sugar, it wouldn’t end so well as MJF kicked Sugar in the bollocks whilst Referee Des wasn’t looking and rolled up Sugar whilst having a hand on the ropes for more leverage to advance to the next round.

Other results from Round 1 were as follows:

‘Magnificent’ Matthew Brooks beat Dave Birch when hit the Big Leg for the three count. A big plus for Brooks this weekend, was the usually temperamental microphones were on amazing form this weekend, so his beautiful singing voice could be heard at full capacity.

Puerto Rico’s own Franco Varga who comes out to the Ricky Martin classic ‘Living La Vida Loca’ beat ‘Big Time’ Bruce Wheeler who is an Academy Graduate who has been wrestling for the last 8 months and whilst some of his ring work needs a bit of fine tuning, his mic work is very good for someone who hasn’t been doing this long. Franco who impressed on this weekend, especially with the kids in attendance who swamped him for photographs at the end of the show advanced to the next round when he hit a F5 into a stunner and then a Moonsault for the three count.

Jaxon Stone Everybody!! Who has the look of former Newcastle player Jonas Gutierrez put away Planet Bolton’s own Arcadian in a good contest that was back and forth for the duration of the contest, which ended when Jaxon put away Arcadian with a powerbomb to advance.

In what was supposed to Daniel Thorley (Academy Trainee) vs Iestyn Rees, never got going due to BIG T who felt jilted that he wasn’t in the tournament came in to lay waste to Daniel in the end racking him, to leave Iestyn just to walk to the ring to get the forfeit victory which had people thinking that Rees would be soon to be a member of the Buyout, despite him saying that he wanted to be his own man at the last show in Blackpool – this would be played out later in the show and the weekend.

Main event of show 1 was battle of former friends with Danny Hope taking on Joey Hayes. In what was very much a slow burner type of a match, that turned good near the end – Joey Hayes advanced when he locked in the Cross-Hayes on Danny to win via submission. Hope had earlier during the match thought he had won, but the referee noticed Hope had his feet on the ropes and promptly stopped the count.

Show one done – a quick drop off of my bags at our B&B for the evening, that being The Trentham B&B which cost £41 for the night, but the only down point being the low roof in my roof, meaning me and Geoff would have to very careful once we rolled in at 2 am half cut! Two pubs were visited in between Show 1 and 2, that being the local branch of Hogarths for a pint of Cheadle House Bitter at a cost of £1.95 to wet the taste buds whilst observing the bouncer in there who had the look of MJF less the Burberry scarf.

The other pub we tried in between was The 1887 Brew Room, which is the site of the formation of Blackpool F.C and has been turned into in the last year, into a brew pub as of West Coast brewery. This has been well needed in the town, as there is very much a lack of real ale choices apart the two ‘Spoons. Two pints in here were had including a Tiny Rebel Rise Lager (4.2% £3.90) and an 1887 Brew House Lager (4% £2.85), both which were very good being accompanied with a foot-long sausage and nachos for £4.25. This pub would be visited again after Show 2, for another two-hour session this time with The Indy Corner boys (Benno, JP and Joe and Colin) who had come up for the weekend – all cracking company throughout the time they were there.

Show two now, so let’s get into the best of the action:

MJF vs Joey Hayes – in a rematch of a cracker, MJF took on Joey Hayes, with Joey looking to avenge his defeat in May and once again they didn’t disappoint as MJF looked to finish off Joey with his rope-assisted piledriver, but only got a two count as he complained to the referee which soon led to his downfall as not long after this, Joey hit the JKO to get the three count and to advance to the Semi-Finals. Good crowd head especially with MJF who once again was a star on the microphone – this fella is money!!

Tom Lawlor vs Jaxon Stone & Franco Varga vs Iestyn Rees followed next in what were two very good big lad’s matches, with the Stone vs Lawler being probably the best of these two with Lawlor very much being on the defensive surviving close countouts at the count of 9 to carry on. Lawlor however managed to choke out the BIG Jaxon at the third attempt to advance to the Semis. In the other quarter, after a valiant effort by Franco Varga, he finally succumbed to iestyn Rees who beat him with the Alpha Lock to also cement his place in the Semi-Finals.

Shenanigans galore in the final Quarter match when Sheikh El-Sham scrambled through against ‘Magnificent’ Matthew Brooks after Sham was in a pinning position on Brooks, but with the aid of Danny Hope holding Brooks foot on the outside for added leverage to get the three count BOOOO!!! So your final 4 – Lawlor, Sham, Rees and Hayes!

Half-Time Main Event was a proper tour de force of emotions as Philip Michael challenged Tel Banham once again for the Cruiserweight Title, after losing in Blackpool the last time at Club Domain, so for Philip this was a chance at retribution. Fully based around Banham working on the already injured knee of Michael from earlier on, he was trying everything within his power to make the man from Accrington tap out. However, at one stage near the end of this match it looked like Philip would do the unthinkable and make Tel tap in a modified ‘Rings of Saturn’ but to the sadness of the crowd in attendance, Tel would get to the ropes. With the match reaching around the 20-minute marker it would be Tel who had done enough work on Phil to make him pass out from the pain to deflate the crowd into one big huff – an excellent match up though, that the crowd were fully invested in for the duration of – well done lads!!

Semi-Finals of the tournament we had Iestyn Rees facing Joey Hayes, which was all going well until BIG T got involved once again on this day to remonstrate with Iestyn who he had been courting on behalf of his group. This led though, to distract Iestyn enough to be rolled up by Joey who advances to the Road to Glory final leaving an angry man from Gloucester baying for BIG T’s blood.

In the other Semi-Final we had Sheikh El-Sham vs Tom Lawlor in an interesting styles clash, which on paper many people thought Lawlor would advance, but once we saw who the official was for the match doubt set in (Mark Alexander Price once again!!). Price would get involved once again as he gave a fast count as Sheikh had Lawlor pinned much to the disgust of the crowd. After the match, Lawlor would get his revenge as he choked out Price enough, that it ruled him out from reffing/spoiling the final.

Before the final we had a 6-man tag to break things up with ‘The Buyout’ (BIG T, Danny Hope and Nightshade) taking on Sugar Dunkerton, Matthew Brooks and Arcadian. In a really fun break from singles action, it would be ‘The Buyout’ who would get the victory as BIG T hit the final sentence to Arcadian to get the 3 count.

Final time now, with Sheikh El-Sham coming out on a royal throne carried by security in a proper WrestleMania type entrance – that had me applauding like a seal – taking on Joey Hayes in the Road to Glory Final. This match is very poignant for Sheikh, as his first ever match was against Hayes at the PCW Academy when he was defeated by the man from Leigh, since then though Sham has had the upper hand, but would it be the same on this evening. Lots of interference in this one including ‘The Buyout’ getting involved, that was until Referee Des ejected them, we had signs of tension between Sham and Banham as well – which in the future we could see played out!

As the match was reaching its climax and with Sham on Top, BIG T came in as well to put the final exclamation to Hayes whilst Des was floored, but out comes Iestyn Rees with a chair to wallop T over the head to send him packing. This in turn lead to Joey Hayes locking in the Cross Hayes at the second attempt to get the Submission to send the crowd home happy and to win the Road to Glory tournament and an opportunity at the PCW Title at a later date. A fitting way to end a fantastic, storyline driven tournament!

Show done, it was time to visit the bright lights of Blackpool, as mentioned spending a couple of hours once again in The Brew Room till around 10:15pm. That was before we made our way to The Castle only for that to be shut! However, we did end up going to The Layton Rakes Wetherspoons to sample the £1.95 bottles of Sierra Nevada, followed by Knobby’s Karaoke Bar to here many songs being mercifully murdered by the locals – including a rendition of The Cranberries hit ‘Zombie’

Next on the beer crawl of Blackpool, was local Irish bar ‘Shenanigans’ which can only be described as a shithole, where we stopped for an hour only before my dancing got even worse! Last pub for us was The Miffin which was a decent café style bar, but it was a bit dead like that scene out of The Inbetweeners whilst we sang along to ‘Sugar Sugar’ by The Archies as requested by my mate Andrew! That said it was time for me, Geoff and Jan to leave The Indy Corner boys and Andrew to party the night away in the local Popworld – of which I had reports of stunning barmaid from Andrew.

Waking up the next morning at 930am, we made our way down for breakfast which was a good effort, but I never understand why all B&B’s insist on only giving you 1 sausage??? Meeting up with Jan and Andrew we made our way in for Show 3 of the Blackpool weekend, not before being surprised when walking into the local CEX to see a DVD of something called ‘The Brave Little Toaster’, supposedly a Children’s film from the late 80’s costing the pricey sum of £28 – FUCK ME!!

Anyways, less about toasters and let’s get into what happened in Show 3 and 4 – these being the TV tapings for the Fight Network shows, so be aware of spoilers to come! Starting off the first taping we had Philip Michael who was still carrying a bit of a knee injury from the previous evening taking on Dave Birch! A very good start to proceedings here, with both wrestlers impressing, but if I am being a bit picky it maybe could have had a couple of minutes shaved off it as they were trying to hit all the moves – still excellent by all accounts. Philip got the victory here with the Rings of Saturn to Birch after earlier hitting a Canadian Destroyer on Birch for a two count.

The sounds of Big T’s entrance were heard next as he came out to take on Arcadian. As expected this was a bit of a mauling apart from Arcadian at least getting the big fella down to one knee with kicks. T finished off Arcadian in quick fashion with The Final Sentence to get the win, once again teasing us with the non-appearance of his famous rack move ‘The T-Break’.

More comedy stylings next as ‘BIG TIME” Bruce Wheeler took on Sugar Dunkerton. Plenty of talk prior to the match was of Bruce Wheeler saying that he had the writing credits to the tune ‘Sugar Sugar’ like a 1960s version of Gary Barlow nicking all of the writing credits – which got a few laughs from my mate Andrew about this! Sadly, this was no laughing matter for Wheeler as he was put away with a roll-through X-Factor for the win.

Non-title Women’s action with Desi Derata taking on the PCW Women’s Champion Nightshade. Derata who had been beaten by Nightshade in a 3-way match on Friday in Leeds was looking for revenge here. Early portion of this match was a bit rough around the edges, but as it went on it turned into a good contest, in which Derata got the shock victory by hitting a spinning bomb to Nightshade to get the 3 and as we would see later in Show 4 – a title shot. Unfortunately, though in the later match, it wasn’t meant to be for Desi as she was put away by Nightshade with a high-angled German Suplex to get the win. Nightshade it has to be said is very good at getting the crowd riled up and it is good to see her getting some newer opponents to start off 2019 – keep an eye out for her!

Next two matches were a decent Big lads match with Jaxon Stone taking on Franco Varga in which Stone got the victory and Iestyn Rees disposing Danny Hope in quick time – let it be known this wasn’t a good weekend for the Sheriff of Tasseltown, as apart from the 6-person match, he lost every match!

Up next we had the unveiling of a new PCW signing that being Joe Hendry, who we would find out was a supposed attacker of Matthew Brooks (which was announced at the start of the show that Brooks would not be appearing because of this). With Hendry proclaiming that he is a better singer and a wrestler than Brooks, this prompted Brooks’ friend Sugar Dunkerton to come out to remonstrate with Hendry – in a very good back and forth talking segment, it would be Sugar who ended up sending Hendry packing to the back with a right hook, but not before Hendry challenged Sugar to a time of his choosing which would be later on in the Second show. Good stuff this!

Main event of the first show was an All-Star tag with Sheikh El-Sham and Tel Banham trying to work out their differences, taking on Joey Hayes and Tom Lawlor. A chaotic tag match that ended up with the crooked referee Mark Price getting involved once again with some underhanded skulduggery and also the rest of Buyout interfering to stop Lawlor doing any damage. With Danny Hope and BIG T occupying both Tom Lawlor and Jeff Cobb, the latter who had come out to save his mate, this left Banham free to clock Joey with the PCW Title belt to Joey Hayes to floor him to get the three count as Price counted the fall to get the tainted win for The Buyout!

After the match though, Joey dusted himself off to challenge Banham for the PCW Title in the second show to send the crowd off for an hour break before the 4thand final show started. During the break, it was time to get some Fish and Chips from the Chippy next to Coral Island, which were are solid 8/10 standard costing £6.55! I forgot to say whilst I am typing, that beer was shunned in the first show by quite a few of us nursing hangovers – instead plumping for £2.50 cups of Slush Puppies – many a brain freeze was had in the space of 2 hours.

4th and final show now, starting off with 4-way action with Jaxon Stone taking on Dave Birch, Bruce Wheeler and Franco Varga respectively. In a really fun opener to get the crowd warmed up once again, the popular Franco got the victory here by hitting the F5 stunner to Birch to get the victory here to end what was successful first time showing here in the U.K for the Puerto Rican! After the match, Dave Birch got onto the mic, to say that he was sick of all the losses and needed to seek change to get his fledgling career back on track.

After the aforementioned Women’s match we then had 3rd on – Danny Hope taking on Arcadian. After a prolonged beat down of Arcadian by Hope, out of nowhere the man from Planet Bolton shocked The Sheriff with a springboard cutter from out of nowhere to get the shock win! Which was nice to see as Arcadian impressed quite a few onlookers on this weekend, including Joe and JP, whilst we are on the subject got us all talking about Babylon Zoo which Arcadian uses their hit ‘Spaceman’ as his theme – only at the wrestling can these conversations ever come up!.

Next up was announced as an ‘I Quit’ match between Sheikh El-Sham and Philip Michael (something to be probably explained on TV to this stipulation). An added stipulation to this match was if the Sheikh won, then Phil would have to join The Buyout, if Phil won – The Buyout would have to disband! This was very much a match to show off the Sheikh’s dominance as he beat down on Phil’s already injured right leg, constantly targeting this throughout the match and after around 15 minutes he eventually made Phil scream ‘I QUIT!’ after the pain was too much for the lad from Accrington – so with that said – A reluctant Phil now has to be The Buyout’s slave for the foreseeable future.

Joe Hendry vs Sugar was up next to settle out their squabble in the earlier interview segment. In another good storyline driven match, for which PCW are very good at nowadays, it would Joe Hendry who would get the victory with a roll-up and a hand on the rope similar to an MJF victory the night before – very much to the boos of the crowd in attendance. So with that win, it looks like Hendry is going to be moving into a feud with Matthew Brooks, expect the Sing-Off and many other singing related games between these masters of the voice.

Three matches to go and we come back with a return match from Show 1, with Jeff Cobb once again taking on Filthy Tom Lawlor in a similar type of match to that one, with both hitting hard strikes and throws, but on this occasion, it would be the man from Guam getting the victory as Jeff Cobb hit the ‘Tour of the Islands’ to give Lawlor a hard landing to get the three count in a hard-fought contest with both lads giving each other a deserved show of respect!

More big lads action with Iestyn Rees and BIG T trying to settle their differences. Even though this was short, it still had some great spots including Rees doing a wonderful dive to T on the outside and also managing to slam T in the centre of the ring. With Rees locking in the Alpha Lock to T and with him ready to tap, Sheikh El-Sham ran in to attack Rees with a Chair to cause the DQ. It now looks like this is the direction for the next couple of months in PCW with Rees taking on Sham – which I am certainly all for! Rees is certainly getting over well in this new babyface role.

Main event time now and your final match for the weekend was for the PCW Heavyweight Title with the Champion, Tel Banham taking on the No.1 Contender Joey Hayes. Luckily for Joey fans at the start, PCW Honcho Steven Fludder ordered the dismissal of crooked referee Mark Price, leading to Price being fired and then duly removed by security - an excellent way to end the weekend long storyline with him. You would think as well with all of the wrestling that had just passed that the crowd would be tired, but this match the whole audience engaged from the start. None more than the moment Tel Banham went to hit Joey with the belt only to be thwarted by Referee Des, and then hit with a JKO for the nearest of three counts that had the crowd on the edge of there seats.

Thankfully though for Joey, he was wise once again when Banham went to hit him with the belt again, only for Hayes to lock in the Cross Hayes on Tel to make him tap out onto the belt (great visual) to become PCW Heavyweight Champion to a great reception from the crowd.

There we have it then! A tour de force of a weekend, which a couple of thank you's go out to the young lad in the front row who didn't stop chanting all weekend and gave me a rest which was needed much on the Sunday shows. Also a thank you to Rick 'The Rock' (PCW Regular) with his help with some of the results and his thoughts on the weekend - go and check him out on Youtube (The Peoples WWE Channel)!

In closing, despite some low attendances, the outlook for PCW does look good from a storyline stand point with the main baddies looking a threat especially Banham, BIG T, Hendry and Sheikh El Sham. From the goody side Hayes, Rees, Sugar and Brooks look to be their dance partners with also Philip Michael looking on within the buyout - I for one am excited from a story standpoint of things!

I hope you have enjoyed reading this review of PCWs weekend in Blackpool - give them a check out online or when they are on The Fight Network. I will see you next time when I go to Leeds once again for Tidal Wrestling so until then - BYE!!

[mysidewriting]

Through the Storm

From the start --> Previous chapter

Chapter Four:

The walls of Professor Oak's lab were lined from ceiling to floor in thick books. Titles ranging from things relating to the overall population of Kanto, to specific species of Pokémon. Large machines whirred in the background and an interesting assortment of the native beats wandered the lab, aiding assistants with their work or just lounging in corners.

The man himself was short, square faced, and entirely grey. He welcomed me ceremoniously with a large grin and a steady handshake. His hands were so raw with callouses that I felt as though I needed lotion after simply shaking hands.

He directed me towards a side room of the lab where some thick binders sat on a round table. I could tell by the scribbled words on the cover that Oak's work laid between the plastic. He promised my time here wouldn't be mostly reading and would actually include some hands on experimenting and sampling of the Kanto population, but for today it would be most beneficial for me to read as much as possible.

So that's what I did nearly all day. Sat at that round table with my nose in binders full of research findings and questions. As monotonous as it was, the content was shockingly interesting and exciting so I never got too distracted or bored.

Towards the end of the day I moved on to the last binder, a significantly thinner piece of research than the ones I had worked through. The cover was black and speckled with gold, a sheet of paper with a drawn rune on the front sparked my interest.

The index held nothing other than Pokémon names and page numbers, nothing I recognized at all. Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, Mew, and MewTwo.

Articuno, currently believed to be sleeping somewhere in the depths of sea foam cave, was one of the three legendary birds. An ice and flying type and that held unspeakable power. I wondered if it was any stronger or even stronger than Lunaala or Solgaleo. Not much information was in the research about the ice bird, and not much was in there for the other two birds either.

Zapdos was last seen in the power plant near Pewter City and Mt. Moon. It was an electric flying type and was known for striking lightning with each beat of its wings.

Moltres, the fire and flying type bird had not been seen anywhere other than the sky in the last ten years. Its location was completely unknown, and its presence was feared by many. The bird was almost entirely covered in flames, much like the Phoenix spoken of in old mythology. Despite the fact that its location was unknown, researchers speculate that it was living in a tropical environment such as the orange islands not far off the coast of Kanto.

The final two Pokémon covered in the binder had their sections merged and not much information had been provided for either of them. I'd just started reading about the psychic type, Mew, when Oak entered and informed me it was time to head home for the day. He was surprised to see I had gotten through nearly everything and agreed to let me finish the last section tomorrow.

Green had invited me to stay at house for the whole week I was supposed to be in Pallet and working with his grandfather. I thanked him repeatedly, and promised to repay the favor in the future. The guest room was made temporarily mine and I unpacked all the contents of my backpack into the empty dresser, washing my dirty clothes in his basement. I met his younger sister, a girl who sparked no resemblance to the narcissistic man whatsoever. She was shy and quiet, only two years younger than me.

Daisy was a Pokémon groomer with a magic touch, not even my still rambunctious nidorina could act disorderly around her. She was calm and didn't react negatively when I asked if she would groom Type:Null, she only asked where it was from. We had tea together and talked about various things, she told stories of Green when he was younger and more annoying than he was now.

Later in the day, as the sun was falling beyond the horizon and the rattata scurried around in the shadowed grass for scraps, Green came back to the house with another guy in tow. They were both covered in dirt and debris.

"Cinnabar is uninhabitable, in case either of you were wondering." Green said as he tossed his dirty jacket into a corner of the living room. His sister rose her eyebrows in annoyance at him but he shrugged it off. "That volcano eruption destroyed everything."

"That's not surprising." Daisy stated bluntly, still gazing at her older brother with a look of aggravation. "The news said the eruption was huge."

"Eruption?" I questioned, gaze falling on the other guy who was shucking off his own jacket and hanging it up on a rack.

"Some volcano under Cinnabar Island blew up two months ago. Red and I wanted to see if anything from the city made it." Green explained, referencing the new guy. Red the champion of Kanto, oh.

"So that old mansion and the fossil lab are just destroyed?" Daisy asked.

Red nodded disappointedly.

"That's a lot of scientific research and history lost." Daisy complained, setting her cup of tea down on the side table. She stood from the couch both of us had been sitting on for the past few hours and scooped up Green's dusted jacket and Red's as well. "You should have taken Moon with you, though." She said as she left the room, likely taking the jackets downstairs to wash them.

"We'll take you with us when you’re finished with gramps's stuff." Green said with a beaming grin in my direction. "We're going to explore Seafoam Island with you."

Seafoam! That was where the ice bird was thought to be located, excitement gripped me and I grinned back to him. "You better take me with you!"

The three of us, excluding Daisy. Went out to the backyard where Green released half his team to wander and stretch before being in for the night. Red did the same and I gazed in awe at his bulky charizard and somehow intimidating pikachu. Green half forced, half requested me to release lycanroc and Type:Null so Red could see the rare species of Pokémon from Alola. I obliged and had to stop Null from ramming into Green's arcanine out of intimidation. Kai was preoccupied showing off to the two men staring at her with amazement.

Red wasn't much for words, as I learned when attempting to ask him about his training regimen. He'd just shrugged and pointed to Green - who then explained that they trained off each other for the most part. The only thing he did say was 'sure' when Green asked him if he wanted to watch some movie before calling it a night. The Pokémon were left outside while everyone in the house nestled into the living room to watch some cheesy flick about team rocket.

After it was over I told them about Alola's former Team Skull. How there was nothing all that scary about them aside from some crazy crap with Pokémon from another dimension. Both Red and Green stared at me like I was insane, I just shrugged. I wasn't really allowed to talk about ultra space or the ultra beasts with anyone other than those who already knew about them.

M//I met the champion of Kanto!

H//REALLY?! Ooh what's he like?

M//quiet haha //he's got a real scary looking charizard and pikachu

G//pikachu?

H//yeah why not a raichu?

M//idk and he wouldn't tell me if I asked

L//I've met him before too! He's very quiet, but very nice //I've heard that Kantonian Raichu aren't as strong as Alolan.

G//odd.

M//Gladion, the Null you gave me tried to fight Green's Pokémon for no reason hahaha

G//you brought it with?

M//yeah!

H//I still want one 😒

G//There's only two.

L//Moon's is much cuter than yours, Bub. 😝

G//Okay?

L//she also saved me life so

M//you wouldn't have died! Just probably broke something.... haha //also she?

H//HOW DID SHE SAVE YOUR LIFE? Why did you almost die!!!!

G//What did you do....

L//Moon and I found a weird cave and explored and I almost fell off a cliff 😅

G//Moon, that's exactly what I told you not to do...

M//this was before that though! //And I guess Null is just a girl now, ok haha

H//LILLIE DONT GO IN THERE AGAIN! You either Moon what the heck?

M//I want to go back though

G//D o n ' t. I swear to Arceus, Moon, do not go back.

Mew was apparently the first decedent of the god Pokemon, Arceus. The first Pokémon that created every other Pokémon? Something like that, the way the research was written it was hard to understand what they were trying to explain. Either way, it was rarely seen but apparently whenever it did appear in front of someone it was very playful and loved to play tricks on people.

Mew was the only other Pokémon known to use the move transform, where it took on the image of another beast. Ditto, the man made Pokémon, is such thought to be a failed attempt at recreating the legendary mew.

Mewtwo, was a more successful attempt to create a clone of Mew, for research purposes. Drawings were scattered throughout the pages of Oak's work. Depicting a humanoid figure with a long tail and two spinal cords. The lab it had been created in was destroyed with 180 casualties and almost all information about the man made creature was destroyed in the exploding lab. It used telepathy to speak with humans according to the information that had been saved... only eyewitness testimonials to its power... of those who survived, all believe it was Mewtwo who had destroyed the lab - killing all the professors and assistants.

The Pokémon had escaped and was now in hiding somewhere, likely in Kanto.

I want to find it.

The rest of the day was spent surveying the wildlife just west of Lavender Town. Oak provides both of us and a small group of assistants a helicopter ride to the area. I searched for growlithe and tried to tag at least two girls and two boys with trackers.

The only thing I could think about while looking at all the growlithe was my father's pet of the species. I struggled to focus on counting the population as my mind drifted to wonder about my mother's wellbeing.

I would have to call her again, check up on the whole situation.

Most of the work I did with Oak was relatively similar to the things I did the first two days. I learned a lot about the native species of Kanto, and helped to put away some new found information about some rarer species.

I'd explored the safari zone very thoroughly, seeing Pokémon that couldn't be seen outside of the 'playground' as easily, at least in Kanto. I certainly recognized a lot of them from Alola. We studied the interactions between humans and Pokémon by interviewing with various trainers, people with pets, and businesses that used Pokémon for various tasks. I helped a few of the assistants to put together a quick report on our findings. I got a chance to explore Mt. Moon much more thoroughly then I had when I transversed it myself. Finding some new areas and tunnels that I hadn't seen when I was only looking through the caves.

All of the time spent traveling across Kanto had exhausted me by the final night of my week with Oak. I'd spent most of the time after what Green had deemed 'work' for me, just lying in bed and listening to music. Recounting all the different things I'd done and seen already was amazing to me. I still had another five months to do similar things and I couldn't even imagine what events would unfold as I traveled and met new faces and Pokémon.

I was packing up my things from the borrowed dressers when Green suddenly burst in the room, a bag over his own shoulder. "One more day with gramps, huh?"

"Yep!" I passed him a small smile, "thanks for letting me stay here."

"You kidding, kid? It was a joy." He chuckled, "You’re always welcome to stay with Daisy and me."

"Thanks! Maybe I'll come back then. Maybe I'll come by every week." I joked. I stuffed a tightly rolled up ball of undergarments into my bag, hoping the man standing in the doorway wouldn't notice.

"Uh, let's not over use my generosity here." He affirmed warily, his eyebrows low and judgmental before realizing I was only kidding. It was quiet for a moment before he spoke up again, his tone taunting. "So you know what this means, right?" He said with a sly expression on his face. Sliding around the doorway so he was officially in the room, leaning against the wall.

I stared at him quizzically, "no, what?"

"Seafoam Island soon!" He half sang, the sound falling into more laughter.

I actually jumped with excitement, dropping my bag so nearly all the contents spilled out. "Oh! Right! I want to find that legendary bird in there."

"Ha! Fat chance." His voice was loud enough to make my ears ring. "It's nearly impossible to get to the bottom of the caves."

I returned a sly grin in his direction, "I can make it down there."

His hazel eyes rolled, over dramatic. "Sure, sure."

Note: So this is kind of a super uneventful chapter and I apologize for that. I may just post chapter five later today, to make up for that. To continue off of that... Could you guys let me know what you think of length for these chapters? I'm conflicted about how much to post at a time. :c So two things - do you guys want chapter five tonight/tomorrow? (Next chapter is posted!) and what do you guys want to see with length for chapters? (For reference, this chapter was around 6 pages long. Chapter three was a whopping 13-14) Thanks!

[placetobenation]

**I was born in 1990 and became a wrestling fan in 1996. Shawn Michaels was my first favorite wrestler, and I watched every minute of the Attitude Era religiously. Needless to say, 90s WWF is my wrestling foundation. I have heard about the mythic era of the NWA and the territories, (and of course I’ve seen bits and pieces) but never truly steeped myself in all its glory. Follow my fresh/ignorant breakdown of classic wrestling!**

Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling—October 17, 1981

Bob and Davy preview the show, which features the usual cast of characters, aside from one new face–Jimmy Valiant. According to Davy’s wonderfully Southern phrasing, Mid-Atlantic just “keeps getting on better and better!” The WWE Network has a gap in episodes, so we have skipped a few weeks ahead.

Jake Roberts, who seems to switch partners weekly, is now chasing the tag titles with Jay Youngblood. Jake calls out Ole over the fact that the NWA Tag Team Championship has not been defended in 60 days, (30 days overdue) so he will either have to get Gene out of retirement or find a new partner to give them a fair shot.

He throws it to Youngblood, who gives a complete mess of a promo. His bloodshot eyes suggest he may have just smoked a joint. He stumbles on his words, and at one point, completely turns his back to the camera. Jake even seems to be snickering at him in the background. (Maybe Jake just likes to pick partners that humor him.) They just send guys out there and let them do what they do on the mic, for better or for worse. I can respect that.  

Piper walks up to Youngblood and just tears into him, going on a breathless tirade about how he will fight Youngblood and his entire “squaw” family. He says they could fight have a deathmatch, until each literally cannot fight any longer and looks as if he might spontaneously combust at any second. In an unexpected turn, David steps in to tell Piper that the stipulation has already been made for this match, and his partner, Abdullah the Butcher, has been suspended, so he better just accept it. As David explains, it’s just a “regular match.” Youngblood comes back to fire back at Piper with the line, “you better not mess with any Indians…or any of these fans.” Yeah I’m pretty sure he’s stoned.

Youngblood cannot even come close to matching Piper’s intensity and really looks weak here. He has to have, of all people, David squeak something out to defend him against Piper’s ranting. Still, you get a face and heel confrontation to set up a good match later in the program, and Piper raving like a lunatic about deathmatches is fantastic.

Before we get to any matches, David and Bob are excited to show us some footage of Jimmy Valiant, and it might be the greatest montage ever spliced together at a TV studio in North Carolina.

Here are the highlights:

a.) The same clip of Handsome Jimmy strutting around ringside in a glittery hat with a cigar in his mouth. This clip appears about three times total from what I counted.

b.) Some short clips of him in ring punching people in a tiny tv studio illuminated with various colors of the rainbow. Also, the ring doesn’t even have a damn apron and looks to be on the verge on imploding with every step the wrestlers take. Really, I have seen better rings in backyard wrestling.

c.) Jimmy rocking out, though not necessarily singing, with his band in a foggy haze.

d.) Jimmy emerges from a limousine wearing a blazer with no shirt at what appears to be a smoky jazz bar.

e.) Jimmy beats up a man dressed in blue tights and diaper.

As Bob tells us, we now know “a few of the things Jimmy Valiant can do.”

Jimmy Valiant vs Jim Nelson The match consists mainly of Valiant bopping around the ring and landing the occasional strike or toss on Nelson. There really isn’t much else to add.

Match Notes The match basically served as an introduction to the entertaining Valiant and his mannerisms, including the way he constantly bounces from side to side. He’s a pretty cool character. If Santa Claus joined the Doobie Brothers, he would look like Jimmy Valiant. I’m looking forward to some Handsome Jimmy promos.

Winner: Jimmy Valiant via pin Rating:  ½*

 Roddy Piper vs Jay Youngblood The match broke down into three distinct segments that all made sense. In the early going, the two tie up, and Youngblood wins nearly every exchange, managing to toss Piper out or work him into a hold. Piper heads outside after each of these exchanges to regroup and do some quality pissing and moaning. Eventually, Piper takes control, works the back, and gets the sleeper locked in, only for Youngblood to get the ropes. Piper continues to work Jay over, but makes a crucial mistake of hitting his own head on a vertical suplex. When the two regain their strength, they trade big strikes back and forth until time expires. The pace ebbed and flowed nicely, and the narrative was rock solid.

Match Notes There were so many great little elements that made this awesome. I loved how they used Piper’s earlier comments about wanting a deathmatch to build heat on him. He wanted this brutal deathmatch, yet complains every that Youngblood’s every move is cheating. By turning into a normal match, it allowed the two to build to a time limit draw through an awesome last sequence where both guys were groggy and just nailing each other until time expired. Youngblood’s chops (one in the early going especially) were just lethal. The pace was super quick early, but slowed as both guys wore down, building to the dramatic punchdrunk finish.

I love the use of the “critical mistake” as a storytelling device in many of these matches, and the guys really do a great job of executing it. When Piper hits his head on the suplex, it completely changes the momentum of the match and allows Youngblood to get back in it. It helps to transition between different sections of the match. 

Finally, it was a little uncomfortable to hear Bob call Youngblood “this Indian” so many times. “This Indian can really fight, David!” Piper proceeds to beat Youngblood down after the match until officials pull him off. Amazing that as legendary as Piper would become, some lucky folks in the Carolinas got to see him work great matches like this in a tiny venue for 80 people. 

 Winner: Draw via Time Limit (10 minute) Rating: ***½

After the break, we cut to  a completely different studio for a promo from Blackjack Mulligan Jr. (a super young Barry Windham), Johnny Weaver, and Paul Jones. Junior has an issue with Kevin Sullivan, while Jones and Weaver will face the Russians (along with their manager Lord Alfred!) and it might end up in the parking lot. This promo came out of nowhere, but regardless, you can check out all the action at the National Guard Armory in Ronceverte, WV. All I could focus on was Weaver’s gaping mouth through the entire promo.

The Great Kubuki vs Charlie Fulton After some lengthy histrionics and unmasking, Kubuki nails Fulton with a stiff chop, a kick, another chop, and then pins him. That’s it.

Match Notes Illustrated that by their fears that he may use a samurai sword in the match, Bob and David are completely befuddled by Kubuki. 

(Kabuki unmasks)David: OH GAA

Bob: (Deadpan) Heck, I still don’t know who he is.

Even though there wasn’t much to the actual match, I can’t completely thrash it because Kabuki did grab my attention and his theatrics at the start built some suspense around what he would actually do. He’s fully into the character, so I can appreciate that. Also, that first chop was vicious. Lots of quality chops on this show. Between Kubuki and Handsome Jimmy, more and more colorful characters are being introduced that I would have expected. 

Winner: Great Kubuki via pin Rating: *

Next up, the promo carousel! Wahoo Mcdaniel is up first to run down Piper. In a nice touch, Wahoo’s forehead still looks purple from the slaughter by Abdullah a month ago. Jake steps up next to once again call out Ole for not defending the tag straps. Both of these guys have a more reserved promo styles that really draws you in. 

Bad Bad Leroy Brown and Jake Roberts vs Rick Harris and Ali Bey   Despite his power, Leroy finds himself in his opponents’ corner until he manages to escape and tag Jake. Jake starts fast and furious, but eventually finds himself in peril. He finds a way to sneak to his corner to tag Leroy, who then rams Harris into his stomach a few times, then hits the big splash for the win. Solid, logical, and nothing spectacular.

Match Notes On the surface it seems like an odd pairing, but Jake and Leroy make a pretty cohesive team. Jake can use his quick fiery offense and be face in peril, then Leroy can clean up with his big power moves.

Winner: Leroy Brown and Jake Roberts via pin Rating: *1/2 

Announcer Aside This might be the first time on these shows that the announcers all but ignore the action in the ring to discuss other wrestlers and angles. They still can’t get over Kubuki’s alleged purple tongue or the dastardly actions of Roddy Piper.

I’m starting to see that the focus remains on the in ring competition, but they still like to bring in wild characters and personalities. Still, even the odd characters are presented in a fairly serious way.

We get some more promos for the Armory show. Young Kevin Sullivan looks like a total stud (or a jacked up Owen Wilson) and will take on Blackjack Mulligan Jr.  Also, cool moment as we get to see a glimpse of Lord Al playing a smug British heel managing the Russians. A great one too, turning his nose to the cretins of Roncerverte who “quaff beer.” He is an entirely different character, far from yucking it up on TNT, and I can only hope for more Evil Al. Many of the older guys from the territory days can just transition seamlessly from face to heel.

US Heavyweight Champion Sgt. Slaughter vs Frank Monte Monte tries to stave off Slaughter with some desperation blows. However, that does absolutely nothing, and Sarge beats on his midsection and lower back relentlessly, then locks in the cobra clutch for the win.

Match Notes Slaughter deserves this championship because he has been nothing short of great on these shows. Like Piper, he fills the gaps with so many great heel moves, like screaming the Marines’ Hymn while Monte loses consciousness. He also delivers the third brutal chop of the show.  

Winner: Sgt. Slaughter via submission Rating: *

We close with more interviews. Slaughter goes on a wild tirade about how he is best, and in the process, calls out Leroy Brown, Jim Crockett, the cameraman, the tape, and, of course, that blonde haired maggot whose the World Champion. Slaughter kills it here as always and has even more gusto after winning the US title.

Ivan Koloff shows up for the first time in a while, and Bob looks sincerely afraid that Koloff might bite him. He calls out Steamboat and then does some other general growling.

Finally, Ole  vehemently denies making excuses and says he will defend the title when he gets a partner. Ole always does a good job of showing that he really does see himself as a reasonable, respectable guy, when we all know he’s nothing of the sort.

The credits roll over a shot of Slaughter murdering Frank Monte.

End of Show Notes

MVP: Roddy Piper Piper always brings the goods with his promos, but on this show he brought it in the ring as well, in the best match on these Mid-Atlantic shows so far. Go out of your way to watch this match.

If You Only Watch One Match: Roddy Piper vs Jay Youngblood

Best Nonwrestling Segment: “Handsome” Jimmy Valiant montage

Overall Impression: This was a strong show down in the Carolinas. You have the excellent Piper/Youngblood match, the fun Jimmy Valiant montage, and solid performances from Jake and Slaughter. Anytime you get a match between two featured guys, you savor it. And least we forget about the mysterious Great Kubuki. I’d call this the best so far.

Rating: 8/10

So long for now!

[junker-town]

NFL Dad, Week 17: Good riddance to the Ravens, Seahawks, and 2017

On the final day of the year, one NFL fan tried to watch all of the RedZone action while parenting two toddlers.

It’s fitting that the NFL season came to a close on New Year’s Eve. After the Week 17 games, every team will start with a clean slate — either vying for the Lombardi Trophy in the playoffs, or taking stock of what went wrong and planning for 2018. Coaches will be fired, management restructured, free agents signed, hopes laid upon draftees. Injured players will return stronger than ever, and you’ll take this opportunity to improve yourself, too. Exercise more. Eat better. Work harder. A fresh start for all!

It’s a lie, of course. Unless a franchise has recently fired Jeff Fisher, a team will only take incremental steps forward or backward. Sure, there are exceptions: One or two teams will experience huge leaps in the win column thanks to turnover luck and positive results in close games, and those teams’ fans will be CERTAIN that it was the result of effort and superior coaching, and not the random providence of luck, destined to regress to the mean.

The truth is, the calendar is the only thing that’s changed. We can experience temporary improvements, but most of us are destined to regress to our personal means. And NFL teams are the same: Your team is unlikely to improve dramatically.

But the NFL monolith will scrape forward nonetheless. Your favorite players will get injured. People will complain about the refs. The Patriots will go 12-4. 2018 is the same hell as 2017, just fresher.

EARLY GAMES, FIRST HALF

— It’s a tame early slate. Bears-Vikings, Jets-Pats, and Browns-Steelers are the only games with playoff implications, and that’s being generous. The (heavy) favorites in those games only have minor jockeying for bye weeks and top-2 conference seeding. I’m saving most of my attention span for the late games.

— A common theme for many of the early games is the extreme cold hitting much of the country. Players wear extra layers, helmets shrink, and Jets quarterbacks live out the metaphors of their station in life.

Inspiring start for Bryce Petty and the Jets http://pic.twitter.com/3t9LvfGCxb

— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) December 31, 2017

— My wife and I rented a car to take our kids to my sister’s place for a couple days after Christmas, with a stop along the way to see old friends. And I’m not going to relive the entire journey, but I will offer one unpleasant travel snapshot: Experiencing carsickness from constantly torquing my neck and back around to fruitlessly attempt to soothe two toddlers completely unaccustomed to car travel as snarled traffic turned a 3.5-hour car trip into a 6.5-hour cry-a-thon.

The lesson I refuse to learn: NEVER. GO. ANYWHERE.

The lesson I refuse to learn as a parent of young children: NEVER. GO. ANYWHERE.

— James Harrison is making his debut for the Patriots, and some Steelers fans are aghast. I don’t quite get the surprise. When Harrison was cut by the Steelers in 2013, he signed with the division rival Bengals. He also had a stint with the Ravens after being on the Steelers’ practice squad early in his career. This is James Harrison we’re talking about. He’s not a paragon of virtue loyal to the black and yellow; he’s a vindictive maniac who has dedicated his entire life to hitting people. Of COURSE he went to the Steelers’ biggest rival this year.

— Juju Smith-Schuster’s touchdown celebration gets an A for joyous creativity, and a D for snowball packing.

— It’s 2:15 p.m. and my son is awake at least 45 minutes earlier than my wife and I would like. He only ever takes 90-minute naps now. My daughter at his age would regularly sleep for three hours in the afternoon. Hell, she still sleeps longer in the afternoon than he does, and she’s twice his age. Sleep longer, you adorable goblin! You’re tired!

— The Bears score a touchdown on the famous fake where the punt returner feigns tracking the ball on one side of the field while a second player catches it on the other side of the field. Long live this explainer on why the play is so unstoppable.

— Dallas and Philadelphia are tied 0-0 at the half. Someone named Jeff Sudfeld is playing quarterback for the Eagles. Nick Foles is too valuable for the Eagles’ playoff run!

Last reminder of the year: (extremely long sigh) Any team in the NFL could have signed Colin Kaepernick on the cheap.

EARLY GAMES, SECOND HALF

— The Colts attempt a surprise onside kick, and there appears to be an end-of-year fire sale on trick plays. If I were a coach about to get fired, you can bet your ass I would throw every unused page in the playbook at an opponent in Week 17: Fake punts, surprise onside kicks, hook-and-laterals, Fumblerooskis — the trick plays would get the defense so on edge for the trick plays that they would get knocked over by power runs.

And then I would be fired.

— Much of what I do on a week-to-week basis has already been collected, with much more brevity, in this piece of service journalism: Every dumb thing that happened in NFL Week 17. (No bits about parenting there, though.)

— Eight minutes into the third quarter, the Giants and Washington are a combined three-for-19 on third downs. It’s hard for me to express how much I’m enjoying not watching that game.

Instead, I’m watching these bad bartending videos:

There’s a whole series of those that are equally confounding, and they are either the stupidest videos on YouTube or the subtlest troll jobs I’ve ever seen.

As someone who’s been absorbing online culture as a job for more than a decade, it’s rare for me to find something like this inscrutable. Hundreds of dollars for a full bar, but no muddler? The totally incapable but somehow believable bartender? The pint glass of whiskey? This is a ruse, right? I refuse to be anyone’s mark.

— A fun new thing I have since the round-trip car voyage is a semi-permanent eye tic. Just a tiny little muscle spasm on my lower left eyelid that’s like, “Hey, remember that time you were trapped in a rolling box of stress for six hours? Twice?” Look for it on SB Nation’s YouTube channel in 2018.

Hey, remember that time you were trapped in a rolling box of stress for six hours?

— My wife leaves to walk the dog right as the early games wind down. Because we’re keeping our children out of the Arctic blast, I stay back with both kids. My son immediately grabs the iPad off the table and shoves his face into it.

“I want Elsa,” my daughter says, so I play “Let It Go” on Spotify and pull up an image of Elsa for her to look at while the song plays. Frozen is the next horizon for us after Moana. I’m fine with this eventuality, but Moana definitely has the superior story and soundtrack. The important thing is that they’re both better than the 50 years of Disney princess movies that came before. GAHHHH WHY DO I SPEND SO MUCH TIME THINKING ABOUT DISNEY CARTOONS?

— The Browns, despite their best effort against the Steelers’ B-team, finish their season 0-16. Congratulations?

— Because all nine (!!!) late games start at 4:25 p.m. Eastern, RedZone’s Scott Hanson must deal with an action-less lull that’s unusual for so early in the day. It’s 4:15 and RedZone is running highlights, snippets of press conferences, and fantasy updates. And come on: I know the segment is sponsored, no self-respecting fantasy league is active in Week 17. Much like Le’Veon Bell.

LATE GAMES, FIRST HALF

— GAME TIME. My focus today is Panthers-Falcons, Saints-Bucs, and Cardinals-Seahawks. I want the Seahawks to win to stay alive for a playoff spot, and I need the Panthers to be motivated to beat the Falcons, which means I need Tampa Bay to give the Saints a fight, which means the Seahawks are probably going to miss the playoffs. Which, frankly, is probably better than getting blown out by the Rams or Saints on Wild Card Weekend. Everything is meaningless, by the way.

— Ah crap, Arizona opens the game with a touchdown. Drew Stanton escapes Michael Bennett on what could have been a 15-yard sack, buying enough time to throw a TD pass instead. I am going to hate today.

Tyler Lockett returns the ensuing kickoff for a touchdown to tie the game. I am already closing off all emotion to deal with whatever happens for the next three hours.

— In Tampa, the Bucs score game-opening TD. Yay! But then Alvin Kamara returns the ensuing kickoff for a TD. I NEED EVERYONE TO SETTLE DOWN, PLEASE.

— The kids are at the dinner table, alternately painting with watercolors and screaming. My son, whose relentless teething continues, takes a sip of water from the cup he’d been dipping his paintbrush in. My daughter, who has recovered from a double ear infection over Christmas only to get ANOTHER ear infection, has a Moana-themed coloring book. I read her the plot point that goes with each picture as another Panthers drive stalls. COME ON, CAM.

— The Niners are dominating early and up 10-0, but a Jimmy Garoppolo INT sets the Rams up in the red zone. However, the Niners D holds firm, and the Rams are forced to kick a field goal.

— Oh, hello there, AFC. I understand there are some stakes in your conference today, too, hmmm? In Los Angeles, where the Chargers need a win and some help to secure a playoff spot, Melvin Gordon fumbles, but Keenan Allen scoops up the fumble for an awesome TD.

Wait. WHAT?! Gordon loses it. Allen recovers. And SCORES. #Chargers http://pic.twitter.com/PQ59L012NB

— NFL (@NFL) December 31, 2017

My feelings on the four AFC teams vying for two Wild Card spots, ranked by preference:

Chargers. I know they deserve nothing but misery for leaving San Diego, but this team is genuinely fun to watch. Philip Rivers has been incredible this year, and Keenan Allen has stayed healthy! Melvin Gordon is great and likable! The defense has the kind of scary pass rush that can enable a deep playoff run (read: can knock Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger on their asses).

Bills. I hate tables.

Titans. This is one of the least inspiring winning teams I’ve seen in a long time, which is what it’s been since RedZone last clicked over to the Seattle game. Who has ever looked at the AFC South and said, “Yes, this division needs TWO playoff teams.”

Ravens. I strenuously object to Joe Flacco’s existence. If the Ravens offense touches your field, the earth there will be fallow for seven years.

— My kids, still sitting at the table, dance to “Twist and Shout” like two little Elaine Beneses, a brief moment of cheer before the Cardinals punch in another touchdown to take a 17-7 lead over the Seahawks. But the dancing! It’s so herky-jerky and devoid of coordination — like Seattle’s offensive line, but happy.

— What was I saying about the Chargers’ fearsome defense? On third and 22, Derek Carr unloads a bomb to Amari Cooper for an 87-yard touchdown.

EIGHTY-SEVEN YARDS!@DerekCarrQB to @AmariCooper9 for SIX! #RaiderNation http://pic.twitter.com/GLf0Q7bAva

— NFL (@NFL) December 31, 2017

My wife tells my daughter that the Raiders are Uncle Sean’s favorite team. “Can you say the Raiders?” she asks.

Daughter: “The Raid-ahhhhhs.” Chris Berman’s tics are much better when they’re done by toddlers.

— I get a text from Steven Godfrey, SB Nation’s excellent college football reporter who is also doomed to an existence of Falcons fandom. It is to me and Brian Floyd, our managing editor who is also a Seahawks fan: “Please God take this wildcard spot.”

Floyd and I both reject any desire to see these Seahawks in the playoffs. It feels good to own the feeling, to want a different team in a new season instead of watching this one for another week.

— Here is the first RedZone play featuring the Ravens offense that I see: Joe Flacco throws a one-yard crossing route to a running back, who drops the ball. A graphic pops up that says it is the Ravens’ fifth dropped pass of the day. Put this offense in a rocket and fire it into the deepest reaches of space.

— Philip Rivers throws another deep bomb for a touchdown. God, this team belongs in the playoffs, and they’re not going to make it because the first quarter of their season was a grotesque monkey’s paw retribution inflicted by the San Diego city council.

— The Saints attempt a fake field goal, the Bucs don’t fall for it, and Wil Lutz gets CRUSHED. If you ask me, there are simply not enough punters getting blown up by defenders in today’s NFL. (Miss you, Sean Taylor.)

Not enough punters are getting blown up in today’s NFL.

— A big hit in the Ufford household these days is the Daddy Monster. I become my alter ego, roar, and chase my son into the corner where I tickle him and pretend to eat him. “OM NOM NOM!” I say.

He stands up and says, “Naan naan naan!” in his little voice. I feign terror and let him chase me. I hope you didn’t take what I said about the car ride and the eye tic too seriously, because parenting is great.

— Breaking news: The Colts have fired Chuck Pagano. So we’re doing away with Black Monday now? Just getting it out of the way on Sunday?

— I change my son’s poopy diaper. But don’t think of it as poop! It’s more like his butt threw up.

— Flacco watch:

Flacco 3/16 says "Hey remember that time I won a Super Bowl?" http://pic.twitter.com/pvaQG3RKhs

— James Dator [waiting for recognition] (@James_Dator) December 31, 2017

— HALFTIME SCORES:

The Seahawks trail at home 20-7, their only score a kickoff return TD. Burn this season to the ground.

Chargers lead the Raiders 20-10 despite having a FG and PAT blocked. Very on-brand.

Carolina and Atlanta are tied 7-7.

Buffalo leads Miami 10-0. David Fales has replaced Jay Cutler, who is riding a jet ski pantsless to the nearest bank with a boat-thru teller to cash his game check. I am gonna miss that guy so much.

Only a missed extra point is keeping the Bucs from being even with the Saints. New Orleans leads 14-13. Get inspired, Carolina!

Titans 12, Jags 3. Jacksonville trails because its defensive and special teams units have struggled to score touchdowns.

49ers 20, Rams 6. If anything, this score is flattering for the Rams. San Fran-Clara will be a chic pick to win the NFC West next year.

An 85(ish)-yard kickoff return with seconds left in the half gifts Baltimore with a touchdown that cuts the Cincinnati lead to 17-10. C’mon Bengals, don’t Bengal this one.

LATE GAMES, SECOND HALF

— I make a vow to myself: The Seahawks have one possession, the first of the half, to keep me interested in the result of their game, and even then … BARELY. Naturally, the run game comes to life, Russell Wilson connects on a pass, and this appears to be a crude approximation of a drive.

— Shady McCoy is carted off. Screw this season.

— I help with the end of the kids’ bath time. My son, who hates getting out of the bath, sits in tub as the water empties. “Fee-oh,” he says, for frio, because my children are dual-language geniuses. I let him chill there while I peek at the TV; I’m just in time to see Doug Baldwin score a touchdown that narrows the score to 20-14.

The next drive — at least, the next drive I catch a glimpse of — Shaquill Griffin intercepts a Drew Stanton overthrow, and I now feel confident that the Seahawks can get a comeback victory, only for the Falcons to lock down the last playoff spot with a win. (With the Panthers trailing 10-7, Cam Newton promptly throws a terrible interception.)

— The Saints have been a little shaky for the last month of the season, but I could definitely endorse Alvin Kamara destroying the entire playoff field. Look at him make a contested catch downfield:

Oh my goodness, @A_kamara6. #GoSaints http://pic.twitter.com/4bLIJaPrzI

— NFL (@NFL) December 31, 2017

That drive ends in a field goal, and the Saints lead 17-13.

— Ravens WR Chris Moore bobbles a red zone pass, which is intercepted and returned for a touchdown. The Bengals lead 24-10, and I am HERE for the season implosion.

Yes, that is Joe Flacco's pick-six. http://pic.twitter.com/Utx1SfhBP3

— Seth Walder (@SethWalder) December 31, 2017

— The Bucs force a fumble on a punt return and return it for a touchdown! The used coffee grounds of the NFC South are ahead of the division leaders, 20-14.

— With the Seahawks trailing 23-14, they definitely could use a field goal to make it a one-score game. Instead:

Thomas Rawls' taunting penalty cost the Seahawks 15 yards and likely cost them three points as well.

— Brady Henderson (@BradyHenderson) December 31, 2017

— With the Tennessee leading 15-3 in the fourth quarter, all the Titans have to do is bleed clock and let Blake Bortles throw it to their defense. Instead, Marcus Mariota and Derrick Henry collide on a handoff, and the Jaguars return the fumble for a touchdown.

I just checked, and the Jaguars have seven defensive touchdowns this year. That’s a lot, but I could have sworn it was more. Like, if you told me that Bortles had thrown as many touchdowns as the defense scored, I would have believed you. But Bortles had 21 passing TDs (to 13 picks); the NFL works in mysterious ways.

— I pause RedZone to put the kids to bed. I read my son Good Night Moon because he freaking LOVES seeing the moon. “MOON! MOON! MOON!” every time there’s a moon on the page of a book. As I read the last page — “Good night noises everywhere” — he puts his finger to his lips and says, “Shhhh.”

I offer him a choice of second books but he olds up Good Night Moon again. So I read it a second time, but with four pages to go, he shuts the book and says, “All done!” Oh, I’m sorry. Did you perhaps already know how it ends?

— Twenty minutes later, the kids are in bed and I’m back in front of the TV, but I don’t have the energy or desire to watch everything I missed, so I just skip to live TV. The biggest news is that the Panthers have farted their way around the second half to lose to the Falcons by two scores, rendering the Seahawks game pointless. Or more pointless than usual, at least.

And the Panthers should be kicking themselves over that performance: With nine seconds remaining in Tampa, the Bucs score a go-ahead touchdown that gives them a meaningless win and leads to a super-awkward unfriendly never-ending handshake between Sean Payton and Dirk Koetter. The Panthers will go on the road to face the Saints instead of hosting them next weekend.

— The Titans lock up a playoff spot with their win over the Jaguars. When it comes to the other Wild Card spot, the Bills win, but they need help from the Bengals, who have lost their lead in Baltimore. Ravens ahead 27-24.

— Oh, the Seahawks lost, too. Blair Walsh missing a 48-yarder to lose a game that couldn’t save their season is the perfect ending to this campaign. (I may have been miserable watching the Seahawks this season, but they were also an effective kicker away from being 12-4.)

��� The last game of the RedZone season is Bengals-Ravens, and my remaining hopes and dreams rest on ... an Andy Dalton drive? Oh Jesus, where’s the liquor?

— On 4th and 12 near midfield, the Bengals season is about to sputter and die, and I’m beginning to accept the Ravens beating Kansas City when DALTON COMPLETES THE PASS! TYLER BOYD SLIPS A TACKLE AND GETS TO THE END ZONE!!!

THE @BENGALS! TOUCHDOWNNNN! WOW. #Bengals50 http://pic.twitter.com/NB78jk9U2a

— NFL (@NFL) January 1, 2018

YEAAAAAGGGHHHHH I COULD LIFT A VOLKSWAGEN OVER MY HEAD RIGHT NOW

— With a chance to respond, Joe Flacco quickly leads the Ravens to zero first downs and 4th and 14, at which point he completes a pass eight yards short of the first-down marker. GOOD RIDDANCE, GARBAGE BIRDS.*

And good riddance, 2017. Here’s to marginal improvements in 2018.

*insult also applicable to the author’s team of choice

[aion-rsa]

Thanos: 15 Times The Mad Titan Was Defeated

When you hear the Mad Titan’s name, you probably think of near-godlike power. Thanos is a nihilist who courts Death and with his various mystical and artificial augmentations, he is without a doubt one of the greatest threats the Avengers or any hero has ever faced (if not the greatest).

RELATED: 11 Marvel Villains More Dangerous Than Thanos

That is why the Marvel Cinematic Universe has continuously teased audiences everywhere with him, slowly raising our expectations of how much power we’ll see him wield as well as whether or not, like his comic book counterpart, he’ll be seemingly difficult to defeat. Difficult? Maybe, but it’s certainly not impossible. In fact, to show you just how possible it is to beat Thanos, we give you the 15 times the Mad Titan met defeat.

SQUIRREL GIRL

The Christmas holidays are a time for miracles and the 2005 “GLX-Mas Special,” written by Dan Slott and illustrated by Ty Templeton, gave us quite a miracle indeed. When Thanos threatened to end the multiverse as we know it, there was only one hero who could stand up to him: Squirrel Girl! For those who aren’t familiar with the furry heroine, her name is Doreen Green and she’s the most powerful superhero in the entire Marvel Universe — something Thanos discovered the hard way.

Thanos, armed with his incredible Titanian abilities, powers and the blessings of Death herself, fell to Squirrel Girl, armed with… a squirrel. Uatu, who’d witnessed the entire thing, makes it a point to clarify that Squirrel Girl defeated the real Thanos. Not a robot, a clone or a simulacrum. Even if it was off-panel, this is a testament to the strength of the unbeatable Squirrel Girl’s hilarious capabilities, just as much as it is evidence that maybe Thanos isn’t as powerful as he thinks he is.

DRAX

In a giant crossover event focusing on the cosmic characters of the Marvel Universe, Thanos was once again unleashed, this time in a mad dash for cosmic power amidst the onslaught of an armada led by Annihilus, who Thanos allies himself with (only to betray later on). This puts him on a collision course with many of the cosmos’ greatest heroes, including Drax the Destroyer, who was literally made to destroy Thanos.

Thanos kidnaps Moondragon (who is Drax’s daughter) and uses her to bait Drax. That may not have been his brightest moment since it results in Drax coming after him, not only rescuing Moondragon but killing Thanos in spectacular fashion; i.e., ripping his damn heart out. Drax and Moondragon then release Silver Surfer, who releases Galactus to beat back Annihilus and his army. Unbeknownst to them, that was what Thanos had been planning to do all along. It just goes to show how sometimes Thanos’ nihilistic views and drive work against him. He might see victory far more often if he would just pick the side of life. But love (or whatever you call Thanos’ attraction to Death) blinds everyone.

THANE

Written by Jonathan Hickman with art by Jim Chung and Dustin Weaver, “Infinity” #6 is a perfect example of how difficult it is to defeat Thanos. Following a shocking discovery that Thanos has conquered Earth, the Avengers head away from the worlds they’ve recently fought to free to liberate their home from the Mad Titan. Unfortunately for them, despite being aided by the Guardians of the Galaxy, when they arrive to face Earth’s new tyrant, they’re quickly defeated by him and his soldiers. Even the Hulk is unable to best Thanos. With both the purple Titan and the Black Order, the odds seemed stacked against our heroes.

Just as they’re about to be obliterated, they’re all saved by the powerful Thane. Thane is an Inhuman with the ability to alter existence itself with his left hand while with his right hand, he can trap people in a state of living death (manifested in a sort of amber prison). The latter is exactly what the Inhuman does to Thanos. What makes this defeat so great is that Thane is Thanos’ own son and this was a turning point in the young Inhuman’s life.

ADAM WARLOCK

Having acquired the six soul gems, Thanos and his army battle the Avengers in “Marvel Two-In-One” #2, written by Jim Starlin with artwork by Starlin, Josef Rubenstein and Petra Goldberg. It continues the events of “Avengers Annual” #7 where, alongside the Avengers and Captain Marvel, Adam Warlock find and battle Thanos. Warlock immediately falls and finds himself caught in his soul gem. The heroes battle Thanos again in “Marvel Two-In-One” #2 and find themselves losing once again until Spider-Man releases Adam Warlock, who finds vengeance by finally defeating Thanos by turning him to stone.

We wouldn’t see Thanos again until 1990, when he would return in “Silver Surfer Vol. 3” #34, resurrected and as powerful as ever. This was one of Thanos’ most significant defeats, since it seemed the writers had found a way to get rid of the character and make it seem as though he had been killed off. Of course, neither the heroes of the 616 nor future creative teams would be rid of the demi-god that easily.

THOR

When we see Thanos in the pages of a comic book, he’s usually acting as a symbol of destruction, collecting power from various cosmic sources, then wreaking destruction so he seems like an eligible bachelor for Death. It only makes sense that our heroes have to overcome him as a villain. Still, sometimes the way in which our heroes do it pushes the boundaries just a bit, as it did when Thor hammered him to death with Mjolnir in “Thor Vol.2” #25, written by Dan Jurgens and illustrated by John Romita Jr.

We find out later on that this was just a Thanos clone, though similarly empowered. Still, there are many who think Thor should have had a much harder time fighting the Mad Titan replica, especially since this is the Mad Titan that took on all the heavy-hitter heroes in “Infinity Gauntlet” #4 like it was nothing (though he did have help from the Infinity Gauntlet). Was this fair? Maybe not. Was it a defeat? Most definitely.

ZOMBIE HULK

When the zombies had devoured pretty much the entire universe in “Marvel Zombies 2” #1, written by Robert Kirkman with artwork Sean Phillips, things got a little tense between them. Zombie Thanos began complaining that they might not have such a difficult time sustaining themselves if a certain green undead rage monster would stop taking so much. The Hulk, annoyed by prune-face’s comment, rams his green fists straight through Thanos’ head. That was the end of zombie Thanos.

A lethal sucker punch by an undead Hulk isn’t exactly a fair fight and it’s surprising that this version of Thanos could be destroyed so easily (we blame the virus). After all, we’ve seen Juggernaut destroyed as a zombie, but that was with the help of the power cosmic. Thanos should arguably have at least presented a bit more of a challenge. But, it seems Death had truly abandoned him in this universe, since that was his first and last appearance in the “Marvel Zombies” series as an agent of the un-dead.

AVENGERS / GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

The Avengers and the Guardians of the Galaxy faced Thanos once again in 2013s’ “Avengers Assemble,” written by Brian Michael Bendis with artwork by Mark Bagley, Danny Miki and Paul Mounts. It’s the conclusion to Bendis’ 8-issue story arc wherein the Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy try to stop Thanos from turning Earth into his throne planet and wiping them all from existence using the Cosmic Cube. Unfortunately for him, the cube he holds is not the original reality-warping Cosmic Cube.

Thanos’ cube doesn’t obliterate his victims, it merely sends them to the cancerverse. The heroes escape, knock the cube from Thanos’ hands and proceed to pummel Thanos into submission, with Groot getting first swing. This highlights how, despite being a mystical and cosmic force to be reckoned with, Thanos doesn’t always pay the closest attention to the universe around him and isn’t always aware of his vulnerabilities. Strangely for such an intelligent being, in his quest for destruction and power, there’s a lot of oversight. That’s what happens when you swallow your own hype.

NEW FANTASTIC FOUR

In “What If? Newer Fantastic Four,” illustrators Patrick Scherberger, Craig Yeung and Chris Sotomayor, and writer Paul Tobin explore what would have happened if the New Fantastic Four had fought Thanos. It begins with the discovery that Thanos once again wields the Infinity Gauntlet and, as usual, wants to woo Death with it. He displays his awesome might by separating Bruce Banner from the Hulk, proving that he’s perfectly capable of destroying each and every one of his foes, who are in this case, Spider-Man, Hulk, Iron Man and Wolverine.

So, with all that power, how is it that the Mad Titan fell? Well, Wolverine, who replaces Mephisto as Thanos’ advisor, betrays him and cuts off the arm bearing the Infinity Gauntlet. Disarmed and vulnerable, the Hulk beats him to a pulp before Spider-Man dons the gauntlet and restores the world to the way it was. It’s a strange defeat for Thanos, not just because it takes place in an alternate dimension, but also because he was too trusting, something we wouldn’t expect from the cosmic mutant. Of course, you could argue that it was because he was blinded by his affection for Death. When will he ever learn?

CAPTAIN MARVEL

Thanos and Captain Marvel (Mar-Vell) maintained a fierce antagonistic relationship while Vell was alive. They proved to be worthy foes for each other and in their battles, no one could ever be certain who would emerge the victor. “Captain Marvel”# 33 (written by Jim Starlin and Steve Englehart, illustrated by Starlin and Klaus Janson) is a perfect example. Captain Marvel returns to face a Cosmic Cube-empowered Thanos after a stunning defeat in “Avengers” #125. This time, with the help of Drax the Destroyer and Mantis, they��re able to restore the Earth.

This particular defeat is notable because after this, Thanos’ life became forfeit to his beloved Death, meaning that she had abandoned him for his failure. This is a fact he’d discovered after being revived by his ship, Santuary II, though he was now in mortal form. We’d see later on that this defeat only strengthened his resolve and made him more deadly in his attempts to win over Death. We know he’s a nihilist, but here we see just what that really looks like. He shows no regard for his own life and doesn’t even care that he’s mortal. All he cares about, all he thinks about, is Death.

SPIDER-MAN AND HELLCAT

This has to be, without a doubt, one of Thanos’ most humiliating defeats. Once again, we find him in pursuit of the Cosmic Cube. That’s no surprise. What is, however, is that in this particular endeavor, he uses the infamous Thanos-copter (you might count that as a defeat for embarrassment alone). In the end, Spider-Man and Hellcat take him down. Thanos loses the cosmic cube (which Hellcat sort of just brushes off — no use crying over spilt milk after all), which falls into the hands of an oblivious little boy.

It’s a hilariously odd little story, completely disproportionate with the Thanos we’ve come to know. Spider-Man and Hellcat subdue the Mad Titan and how does his part in this tale end? He’s taken away… in handcuffs. This particular defeat doesn’t say much about Thanos, except maybe that sometimes, he might not feel like trying very hard for cosmic power. This defeat was more important for Hellcat, who represented a very human character taking down a powerful unearthly evil. This is something Mary Jane supports when she tells Peter that women can be super too.

EVIL MAR-VELL

After the events of “Annihilation,” Thanos returned to the Marvel Universe, imprisoned but alive. In “The Thanos Imperative” (written by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning with artwork by Miguel Sepulveda, Brad Walker and Andrew Hennessy), an alternate Mar-Vell threatens the multiverse with a plague of un-death, Thanos is forced to work with the Guardians of the Galaxy to fight the lord of the Cancerverse… or so they thought. When Mar-Vell and Thanos confront each other, the latter immediately betrays his team and surrenders, before willingly allowing himself to be sacrificed. This was all part of a plot, however, as Death appears to claim Mar-Vell and all his followers. Unfortunately for Thanos, who had hoped that this brilliant plan would earn him Death’s affections, but Death continues to spurn him.

He brought this one on himself. As we said before, Thanos thinks of only one thing, and that is Death. While that often proves to be one of his strengths through nihilism and the fearlessness that follows, it also usually proves to be his undoing. This is a perfect example of that flaw, since his nihilism leads him to betray those who might have actually grown to trust him a bit.

THE ULTIMATES

Having been unintentionally resurrected by the world-eater Galactus, Thanos arrives on Earth to raid a Project Pegasus facility and steal a cosmic cube. It seems like it would be like all the other attempts he’s made to wreak havoc, but it turns out here that he’s the blade that cuts the world of superheroes in two. When a team of Avengers arrive to stop Thanos, a battle breaks out. The Titan kills War Machine and leaves She-Hulk seriously injured. In the end, though — thanks to a timely premonition by the Inhuman, Ulysses — the Avengers manage to subdue him.

His defeat here was swift and it doesn’t really say much about Thanos as a character. Once again we find him being used purely as a symbol of destruction to divide the Avengers once more and help explore the question that “Civil War II” was all about; that is, the ethics involved in stopping crime before it happens? Obviously, there are serious consequences and that first battle in the Free Comic Book Day “Civil War II” (written by Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Waid, with art by Jim Cheung and Alan Davis) showed us just that.

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE

Thanos is a force to fear, and all adaptations of the character have recognized that about him, even the “Avengers Assemble” animated series in which he’s the main antagonist, though here he does it all for Lady Chaos as opposed to Lady Death. It is a kid’s show after all. His machinations and plot to acquire and use the six Infinity Stones had to come to an end. So it did, momentarily, in the episode “Thanos Triumphant,” written by Kevin Burke and Chris Wyatt. We see Tony Stark rebuild his robot, Arsenal, to take the Infinity Gauntlet from Thanos (voiced by Isaac C. Singleton Jr.), and use it to defeat him.

This wouldn’t be the last time we’d see Thanos, of course, as he’d return later on with a vengeance. That’s one thing you have to respect about him, no matter what medium he appears in, he’ll keep coming back regardless of how much he’s lost. If nothing else, he’s incredibly persistent.

DEADPOOL

Although he’s arguably the one that puts in the most effort, Thanos isn’t the only one caught up in love with Death by trying to win her heart. The Mad Titan has to compete… with the likes of Deadpool! There’s only one way to settle this, right? The cosmic Titan, who has enslaved an entire planet and wielded cosmic power multiple times, just has to battle the guy with two swords who won’t shut up. Yeah, that sounds like good times, right?

“Deadpool vs Thanos” #4, written by Tim Seeley and illustrated by Elmo Bondoc, follows the two titular characters having at it (luckily for Deadpool, he acquired the power cosmic) as Death watches. Thanks to Deadpool’s analytical and philosophical insight, Death is persuaded to abandon Thanos, since he also serves life. There’s no way Thanos could have won this one, so this loss was through no real fault of his own. It’s just further evidence that Thanos perhaps should look for meaning elsewhere to combat his nihilistic views, because deep down, he might not even really believe in them.

HIMSELF

Let’s get this out of the way first: Thanos himself doesn’t actually see defeat in this one. The “Infinity Abyss” mini-series (written and illustrated by Jim Starlin), centres on five imperfect clones, experiments of the Mad Titan called The Thanosi. X, Mystic, Warrior, Amor and Omega, each attempt to kill Thanos through some pretty destructive methods. To stop the universe from caving in, Thanos (the real one), allies himself with Spider-Man, Doctor Strange, Moondragon, Adam Warlock and Captain Marvel, to take out the Thanosi.

The clones were essentially everything terrible about Thanos — his destructive impulses, his immense and focused power and his nihilistic outlook. The only real difference between the real Thanos and his imperfect clones is intelligence and a lingering respect for life. After all, he courts Death and claims to care about nothing, and yet he took the battle against Omega (the most powerful clone) to a place where there would be few casualties. The battles and permanent defeat of the clones showed us that all his power doesn’t amount to much without the mind wielding it. There’s only one Mad Titan and defeat doesn’t keep him down for long.

There are plenty of other times when Thanos was defeated, of course, like in Infinity Gauntlet and Secret Wars! Let us know your favorite in the comments!

The post Thanos: 15 Times The Mad Titan Was Defeated appeared first on CBR.com.

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