#And I honestly don't know what I want to do because right now? Coming on here? Is making me feel anxious as all hell

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

a/n: 2.1k w.count- boothill needs a lil tune up [...y'all should've seen this one comin' honestly]

you're not sure why you bother setting an alarm every time you go to sleep. you don't even know when you'll be sleeping for one; it could be in the afternoon, it could be in the morning, it could be for ten minutes at your workbench, and on the rare occasion, you can even go to bed at night like everyone else. although, that last option when blessed upon you, never lasted the whole night.

as for the original dilemma of alarm clocks? who needs 'em! the critters getting into your shop and wrecking your tools around were a surefire way to get your blood pumping with a wild chase around the shop with a hefty, swinging wrench. kids stopping by to see the newest hunk-of-junk thing you've been tinkering with or maybe even bringing you some toy to fix with whimpering chins are always sure to keep you awake- you couldn't send them away with smashed hopes. perhaps it was a good natured older lady or gentlemen just stretching their legs one fine morning after you had pulled an all nighter, but now you have to entertain their gossip well into the morning past the ass-crack of dawn because you can't be a bad host!

this instance, however, just so happens to be the familiar sound of heavy, metal boots clanking their way through the shop's public entrance. the sound of the stomping reverberates around your small little rest room at the back of your shop through the camera feed you keep running at all hours (mostly for those critters previously mentioned). having just fallen asleep on top of being hyperaware of sounds from the feed, your eyes fly open. with a well-overdramatic, one-person show worthy groan evolved to frustrated yell, you were throwing your shabby blanket off your legs.

"wakey, wakey!" the synthetic voice of an overly familiar man projects into your room.

you stomp across the room in two short strides. slamming your palm down on a button attached to a small table with all sorts of other switches and knobs, the small indicator that audio is feeding from your microphone kicks on as red as your temper.

"the hell do you want?" you growl, voice muffled at the end of your exhausted question by your free hand running down your face. you hear his voice chuckle on the other end. peering through your fingers into the video screen, he had moved to stand away from your shop door. his arms are crossed across his metallic chest, chin tilted up so his one eye can gaze into the camera that follows his movements.

"now, now, sugar," he chuckles, "just open the door, would ya'? i could use some fixin' up." as if trying to coax you into letting him in, he waves one of his arms around by the elbow.

you're not sure if he heard you click your tongue before you lifted your hand off the audio feed button, but he chuckles nonetheless as the soft click of disconnection echoes on his end. he knew you'd come racing to the door... well, at the very least you wouldn't leave him out to dry.

the cowboy dips his chin and chuckles under his breath as the brim of his hat shadows his face. he could hear you stomping your way towards him and just imagining your irritated face with a possibly twitching brow was highly amusing to him.

the door in front of his toes swings open inwards and the rush of air as it did so flutters his long bangs that always covered the right side of his face. his chin rises a fraction, and he was right. your face was assuming.

standing in a wrinkled shirt that you no doubt had been trying to sleep in, arms crossed and a crease so deep in your brows he was tempted to push his thumb between them.

"well," he starts, swaying his hunk of metal bodyweight to one of his equally metal legs, "ain't you a sight for sore eyes."

"what. do you want." you hiss. before he gives you a verbal answer, his arm swings down and swipes something from his pocket before presenting it in front of your face. your eyes nearly go crossed to examine it. then you're looking back up at him, not any more amused than before. "is this supposed to be a bribe?"

the cowboy shrugs playfully, twisting the covered candied sucker between his fingers.

"do ya' want it to be?"

you roll your eyes, bringing your arm up to snatch the small boost of sugar from him. "just get in here, boothill." you sigh, free hand coming to rub your forehead. turning your body to retreat back into your home, the clanking of him following behind echoes at your back.

boothill whistles at the state of the familiar shop he'll find himself in from time to time for quick fix-ups. a workbench loaded with heaps of scrap metal, tools, random bobbles, and screws all littered on top of pages and printed blueprints of projects or repairs. it's even more of a chaotic mess than last time. he sits on the stool he normally snags as his when he's here and, without speaking, you're hooking up a small machine attached to the wall next to the bench and offering him the end of a circular cord.

"need a charge?" you ask with a small lisp from the candy you had already unwrapped and placed in your mouth against your cheek.

"well, why not," he entertains. taking the thick, extendable cord from your hand and plugging it into the port on his lower back.

you flit around a few other places before your snagging a stoll for yourself and placing it in front of his knees. you push some estranged tools around with your forearm and, while moving your sucker from one cheek to the other, you begin to maneuver your hair out of your face.

boothill enjoys watching you in this way. it felt familiar- just seeing someone move around in rather mundane ways. this small sense of domesticity was familiar and comfortable. it calmed him; reminding him of home.

"what's the problem?" you finally ask, looking a tad bit more awake and more or less ready to work on whatever issue he had to present.

his right arm moves to cross his lap and his palm bangs twice on his opposing forearm where his internal revolver barrel is.

"i got myself in quite a fuss with this dang thing. forkin' bullet got jammed in the goose-dud thing and i can't even pop the barrel open to reload it."

you stare at him like he just said the dumbest thing you've ever heard. "you came all the way here. because your arm got jammed by a bullet." the way you spoke sounded exactly how you looked at him.

"this ain't no one-handed fix, sugar." you stay quiet, not willing to admit he had a point. using both hands to not only try and pop open the jam, but also tinker around with what was essentially his whole arm's motion control- that did require a bit more finesse than just slamming his arm on a wall until it gave way... which is precisely what you could imagine him doing.

"fine," you yield. "take off that sorry excuse of a 'jacket' unless you want that sleeve covered in oil."

you twist away from him, half-standing at a strange angle to reach across your workbench for something as the satisfying sound of the bottom of his small zipper unlatches. shrugging it off, he tosses it onto your bench, covering a few loose tools and scribblings of paper.

you fully get out of your stool and trot over to the other side of the shop to roll over a smaller table with a metal tub. you wheel it to his left and, without instruction, boothill lays his arm over it.

as you begin to tinker around with his arm, picks, pliers, oil and all working on trying to dislodge the stray bullet that had caused such an issue, boothill has taken to lounging comfortably as he watches.

his right arm, free of any issues or problem fixing, was propped up on the corner of your workbench at his side with his forearm resting along the edge. his metal fingers had snagged a stray nail from the workspace and had been twirling it absent-mindedly between his knuckles like a bullet.

the only words spoken between you both as you worked was the occasional quick apology if something you did prods against a wire that sent a shock up his arm or made his fingers twitch.

"easy. last thing we need ya' doin' is settin' my gun off, sugar," he had told you. just because his arm machinery wasn't properly loaded- ain't nothing was stopping you from accidentally relodging the bullet and sending it through your wall. the sudden discharge coupled with his exposed wires could easily kick his arm back with enough recoil to knock you clean out with how close you were leaning in to see what you were doing.

"okay..!" you whisper to yourself before the sound of something sliding down in his arm is followed by a sensation; one he was almost familiar with. "give me a wrench. heavy," you instruct. on hand was spread across his forearm just at the start of the revolver barrel, the other outstretched towards your bench. grabbing the nearest one, he slaps it into your palm.

with a two, heavy whacks using your newly acquired wrench, you slam the barrel shut and boothill lets out a small breath.

"now, that feels a heck of a lot better," he chuckles. you reach around his forearm, release the tension latch and the barrel swings out successfully. with your pliers, you easily remove one problematic, greasy bullet. "knew i could count on you to get the job done."

"and thanks to you, my hands are gross," you chide. fingers greased in oil. boothill grabs a rag from your workbench drawer and tosses it over your sullied hands. you start working the cloth between your fingers the moment it hits your skin. "i recommend you stick around and charge up before heading out on whatever you got lined up next."

"shucks, you mean it?" you can't tell if he's genuinely thankful you'd allow him to stay or if he was just being facetious. once your hands were at least dry, you start using it to wipe down his arm next.

"course i do. i'll have to give you a quick check again before you go. i'll mess around and try and make it so it doesn't jam like that again. whatever tech-doc you worked with before really needed to focus on the finer details." boothill wondered if you knew that you had lifted his newly repaired limb and started rotating and twisting it like you were admiring your work. like you were admiring him.

"they don't matter no more," he tells you. "i got ya' now, don't i? who needs some random rear shirt-bag, when i got the best in the forkin' business right here?"

"careful now. flattery will get your everywhere."

"no shirt?"

"watch your mouth," you tease before you stand. "i mean it though. stay put and charge."

"i ain't no stupid electronic," he clicks. his body moves and twists so both of his arms are now leaning on the workbench behind him. both elbows supporting him as his arms dangle off the ledge. "but I hear ya'." his eye shuts under the shadow of his hat.

his eye reopened no sooner than it shut when the shadow caused by the brim of his cowboy hat disappeared and the light of your shop flitered through his eyelids. with a clear, open eye, he lifts his chin to see you standing in front of him.

you had pinched the brim of his hat between your fingers, snatching it off his head and revealing the fullness of his long, dual-colored hair and cross-hair-infused eye. you take his hat and nonchalantly toss it behind his right shoulder to avoid getting any residual oil from his left arm on it.

"take your damn hat off inside my shop will you? you don't need it." you turn away from him as he continues to stare at your back, slack jawed. you mutter something about washing your hands and arms before you disappear behind a doorway and around the corner of the wall. he'd been in the entirety of your shop before, so he knows where you went but all he could think about was you flicking his hat off him.

the cowboy let his head fall backward, the hair on the backside of his skull tangling with screws and pencils as his right hand comes to rest over his face. he can hear the water running in the other room.

"ah, son of a nice lady...!"

boothill has really got to tell you not to mess with his hat.

a/n: one day i'll write a flirty hat rule fic. *sigh* one day.

[seospicybin]

PROFESSIONAL COURTESY.

PART II

Felix x reader. (s)

Chapters: Prologue / Part I

Synopsis: Discovering that his new boss is someone he had one night stand with, Felix struggles to separate work life and personal business. And at times, finding himself mixing those two as he works under your dominance. (16,9k words)

Author's note: Please enjoy this one too and don't be shy to leave feedbacks 🙂

Felix is getting better at keeping his work and personal life separated.

When he clocks into work, he naturally adjusts himself to the environment. He knows it's all about business with you and all he needs to do is do his job right, there's no space for him to be emotional in here.

However, there are times when he can't help but get a little personal and that's because he finds you the most attractive when you are focused on work, you have this little crease formed between your eyebrows and your lower lip slightly jutting out, and sometimes, you have your index and middle fingers pressed against your temple as you read something.

Felix has the trick for it, he'll just quietly admire you through the glass wall from his desk and then think about what he's going to do later with you.

He consoles himself with that thought whenever he can't do certain things to you in the office, going home with you and executing one of his ideas to you.

Today, he's thinking of kissing you against the kitchen island in your apartment and if he's lucky, he plans on getting you on it and—

"He wants to see you," Yoon shatters his daydream with her brooding eyes.

Felix drops the pen he's been twirling in his fingers to his desk, "Who?"

"Who else?" Yoon annoyingly asks, not answering his question.

"Mr. Kang?" He guesses since she is his assistant. He gets up from his chair because, despite Yoon's sluggish way of delivering a message, it seems important.

Yoon disappears to the pantry as he keeps walking toward Mr. Kang's office, he knocks on his door even though it's wide open just to be polite.

"Oh, Felix, yes, come in!" Mr. Kang says with his glasses slumped down the bride of his nose.

"You're calling for me?" He asks as he comes toward his desk and waits for him to allow him to sit.

"Yes, please, sit down," he says, putting away a stack of files on the side of the desk.

Felix feels nervous because it seems serious, he knows he's not getting fired but it's serious, still. He clasps his hands together on his lap.

"I'll be quick," Mr. Kang says, putting down his glasses as they rest on his chest with the small chain securing them from falling, "You know I always want you to be in my team and I think it's the right time to start"

It comes as a surprise to him because he's slowly forgetting his true purpose of working in this company, he wants to be a journalist and now the opportunity presents itself to him and weirdly, he's not as ecstatic as he imagined he would be.

"Oh?" He simply responds.

"Do you still want to be a journalist?" Mr. Kang asks, stacking his arms on the desk.

"Yes, I do," he shortly replies, he should be happy that the climb to his dream job has come to an end.

It would be impossible for Mr. Kang to not notice his slight vexation, he smiles and starts talking about, "We're not going to start right away. I just need you to do one thing to see if you're ready for the job or not."

Not wanting to seem like he's being ungrateful or not happy with the news, Felix politely smiles before speaking, "I am truly honored with this opportunity but Mr. Kang, I'm still working as an assistant and I don't think I can do it with my current position..."

Mr. Kang is smart, he understands his concerns about taking this job, "Also, don't worry. I consulted with the chief beforehand and she agreed to it," he explains, addressing you as the chief like he always does.

"Really?" He hastily responds, slightly shocked to find out you knew about it before him.

"Yes and you fully have her support, you have nothing to worry about," he informs.

Honestly, he's happy about it but what stopping him is knowing that he's not going to work for you again and that makes him sad.

This is what he wants so knowing that you support this means something to him. He gets consoled by the fact that you have his back on this and he's ready for whatever he has to do to get this job.

"So, what's the one thing that I need to do?"

Mr. Kang smiles before shuffling a file in front of him and pulling it out, laying it in front of him, "I want you to write about this senior soccer club, I know their manager so you can tell me when you want an interview with them."

Felix scans through the papers to see just the important details about the subject of his interview, "Do I have a deadline?"

"Uhm... how about a week? Next Tuesday, you'll bring me the finished article."

Felix can't tell if he's negotiating or challenging him, he's not one to back down from a challenge, and he confidently agrees to it.

"Next Tuesday it is," he says with a smile and shakes his hand.

The happiest part of the day has finally come.

He can relax as he drives you home and once he gets in the elevator with you, he can step out of his professional self and into himself. He gently puts his hand on the small of your back after pressing the button on your floor.

"Want to order dinner now?" He asks, his one hand is occupied with your purse and coat.

"Yeah. I'm kind of hungry," you answer, not hesitate to place your hand on his hand that rests on your hips.

"French?"

You lightly shake your head, "I'm thinking Italian?"

"Italian sounds nice," he says, smiling before leaning in to peck your lips.

The best part of his day is when his lips finally meet yours and fulfill his need for the taste of your lips. He holds your jaw as he presses another kiss, longer than the previous one, and has the power to take the pressures of the day off of his shoulders.

After dinner, you refill the glasses with more wine and he's been dreaming about kissing you against that kitchen island from the moment he woke up from his sleep, it feels surreal to finally be able to do it for real.

He slips his arms under and around you, "Why didn't you tell me about it?"

You turn your head to the side, "About what?"

"That you support me to be a journalist," he says.

You put down the bottle of wine, "Well, I think it's great for your career. I don't see why I shouldn't support that."

He buries his nose in your neck and inhales the natural scent of your skin, he lets it intoxicate him as it gives him a sense of comfort.

For a second, he forgot about what he was about to say to you, "But I want to keep working as your assistant."

You refrain from sipping your wine and let out a chuckle, "Don't be silly! You can't be my assistant forever."

"Yes, I can," he disagrees and digs his nose further into your neck.

"Stop. That tickles!" You grumble, breaking away from his hold, and turn to face him.

Felix is more than happy to look at you and your beautiful face that endlessly fascinates him, he needs a moment to take it all in and to convince him that you are real.

"I want to stay close to you," he blurts out and he thinks it's coming from deep within him.

You slyly smile and rest your hands flat on his chest, "We're already close."

"Not close enough," he says with a head shake.

"How close then?"

He closes the gap between your bodies so that you can feel his body heat and his breath warmly brushes your lips.

"This close?" You lowly ask.

Felix slightly tilts his head to the side, teasing you by rubbing his lips against yours and letting it tantalize him more in return.

"This close," he mutters in his low voice then crashes his lips against yours.

Oh, to turn his fantasy into reality! He kisses you so passionately, letting his desires drive him and control him. His hands roam down your body, his hand trailing down your spine and eventually landing on your clothed ass, he cups that ample flesh through your tight skirt while continuously kissing you.

It's unfair that you can turn him on as if he were a light switch.

The other thing he wants to do to you is lift you and sit you on the kitchen island so he starts gripping each side of your waist and gathering his strength to—

The sound of your phone ringing interrupted the heating moment, he ignores it and hopes you do the same. He distracts you from it by holding the nape of your neck and keeps kissing you.

However, it's not enough to make the phone stops ringing and your hand gropes around the kitchen island to look for your phone.

He presses a haste kiss on your lips and whines, "Just leave it."

You laugh because he sounds cute whining with his deep voice, "At least, let me check who's calling."

He whines again yet gives in, letting you check your phone but he keeps you caged between his arms.

One glance at your phone screen and you hit the button to accept the call, "Sorry, I have to take this," you lowly mutter while breaking away from his hold.

Felix sighs and then pouts as you enter your bedroom to continue talking on the phone. He drinks his wine and spends the time to check the mail and packages on the side of the kitchen island.

He learns that you subscribed to a lot of magazines from fashion to finance and obviously, sports ones too. They are mostly bills and invitations to various events, then... there's the big bouquet of flowers. He can't find any cards inside but he finds them in between the pile of mails. He opens the card to find a handwritten message, congratulating you on the release of the annual issue, and on the bottom corner, he finds the initial of the sender. K.S which he believes stands for Kim Seungmin, only seeing his initials is enough to make Felix roll his eyes and scoff in disbelief.

Not long after, you return from the bedroom and walk up to him, picking up your glass of wine to have a long sip. He could have asked who called you or asked you about the flowers but he knows better that he should respect the boundaries.

"So how much time does Mr. Kang give you to write?"

"Oh, so you knew about it too?" He puts one hand against the kitchen island and places the other on your waist, wanting to keep you close to him. He doesn't need your explanation of how you knew, he knows the answer, and it's because you're his boss.

"He gave me a week," he tells you.

"You'd better go home and start working on it then," you say, putting your hand on him and holding it.

"I don't want to go home. We have to continue—"

"No. That's an order!" You firmly tell him.

"But we're not working right now," he grumbles like a fussy child.

"That doesn't change the fact that I'm your boss," you remark, coyly declaring your dominance over him with a piercing gaze and a confident smile.

Isn't that just the sexiest thing you ever did? Instead of feeling offended or intimidated, Felix finds you more alluring and he doesn't mind if he has to be on his knees and worship you all day, he would do that for you even without you asking him.

He swallows hard and takes the message like a good boy, "Yes. That's right."

You reach for the collar of his shirt and fix it for him, "As a professional courtesy, I wish you good luck," you say with a chaste kiss on his cheek.

Without saying anything, Felix obeys your words, collecting his things and getting ready to leave. If you want him to go home and start working on his writing, then that's what he's going to do.

In other words, he's simply obeying the words of his boss whether it's professionally or personally, or both.

-

It's official, Felix has no personal life.

Well, not exactly that, he works as usual and goes straight home to work on his article so he has no time for anything personal at the moment. Even in between work, he goes to Mr. Kang's office to consult about his article.

That's when Felix comes to a realization that you've been cutting him a lot of slack. He makes sure that when it comes to you, he does his job right.

"Got you a new cup of coffee," he says, placing the cup of coffee on your desk.

You swivel your chair to face him and put down the file you're reading, looking at the coffee then shot him an impressed smile.

"No sugar, two creams, and searing hot just the way you like it," he says with a smile.

"Thank you," you softly mutter as you wrap your hand around the cup.

Seeing that he brought you coffee unannounced and you're in the middle of work, and he's in your office, it's better if he leaves you to your work.

"I'll just leave you to continue working," he says, excusing himself to leave.

"No, stay," You order, gesturing for him to sit on the small sofa in your office as you get up from your chair, "Have a seat!"

He stops on his track and makes a turn to sit on the sofa, awkwardly sitting there, then watches you coming to sit across from him.

"So, how's the writing going?" You ask while getting yourself comfortable by crossing your legs together

For a second, he gets distracted by your exposed thigh and how your legs are crossed at the ankle, "It's going well," he simply answers.

"You did the interview yesterday, right?" You ask, then take a careful sip of your coffee.

"Yes. It surprises me that I had a delightful time interviewing them," he shares with a smile.

"Because they're elderly people?"

"No, it's not that," he immediately denies, "It's just refreshing to talk with them about their experiences, their passion..."

You suddenly let out a chuckle and say, "I wasn't serious with my question."

Felix can't believe that he gets to this point of being able to be playful with each other in the office, he allows himself to relax and well, be playful as well.

"Well, actually, that too," he jokingly says.

"How close are you to finish it?"

"I just need to do a few things but it's almost there," he calmly answers.

"So you're confident you'll finish it on time?" You ask with your face slightly turned serious.

"Yes," he confidently and seriously answers.

"That's great to hear," you respond with a soft smile.

You sit straighter on your seat then lean forward, and that makes him feel like you're putting all of your attention on him, "Maybe once you finished your article, we can do something to celebrate it," you say.

It sends a shiver down his spine and it's because he can't tell whether you're being professional or personal, either way, it makes him nervous.

There's a line that Felix knows he shouldn't cross and he oftentimes doesn't find it hard to resist the temptation to do it until today.

"I'll look forward to that," he manages to keep his calm.

"Better finish your article on time then," you say, slyly smiling at him.

He never thought that he'd be this scared to be in the same room with you, scared that he'd lose it and do as he pleases in this very room.

He shoots up from his seat and looks at you, "I'd better get back to my work," he says in one breath, not even waiting for your permission to leave the room.

-

Felix keeps his word to finish the article on time. He sent the finished article last night to Mr. Kang and he's been anxiously waiting for his call when he can just go to his office and ask about it.

When the phone rings, his first thought is that it's Mr. Kang and his heart skips a beat. He draws a long breath and then picks up the handle of the phone.

But instead of the call that he's been waiting for, it's the one call he doesn't expect to answer.

"It's Kim Seungmin," The caller says to him.

He knows it's his job to inform you but he finds it very hard to do, "Please, wait a minute!"

He calls your office and hopes that you don't pick up the call, but he sees through the glass wall that you're picking it up just now.

"Yes?"

"Mr. Kim Seungmin is on the line to talk to you," he informs with a sour expression.

"I'll take it," you shortly reply.

"He's on line two."

"Thank you, Felix," you mutter as you press the button to switch lines and accept his call.

Felix should be hanging up his phone by now but he hides behind his computer screen and quietly listens in on your conversation.

"Hey, sorry for calling you through the office."

"I was about to ask you that. You could have called my numbers."

"I called but it seems you were on the call with someone."

"Oh yeah, I was on a call with Suze."

"Suze, huh?"

"Just the usual rant about her brother," you say with a laugh and he hates how you can be so casual and comfortable talking to him about personal things like that.

"I kind of figured. Well, I'm calling you to ask about the dinner."

"What dinner?"

"Your family dinner, I got invited so I thought..."

"Oh, of course, they invited you first before telling me about it."

"It seems like it."

Felix smirks at that, knowing that he's been invited by your family and not you which means that the two of you are close but not that close, he reckons.

"Should I come or...? I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I can—"

"No, please. You'll be the only person I can tolerate there."

"Oh, great. I was thinking—"

The slap on the desk startles him and he hurriedly slams the phone down, forgetting that you might noticed that he's been eavesdropping.

"Mr. Kang is asking for you," Yoon says, greeting him with her usual brooding eyes through her thick glasses.

"Goodness, Yoon! You could have reached me through the phone," he scolds her while calming himself from almost getting caught listening in on your call.

"Well, your line has been busy and I'm impatient," she says, she stops lingering by his desk as usual and leaves without saying anything else.

This is what he's been waiting all day, a call from Mr. Kang and now he's got it so he should get himself to it. He comes to his office with his heart beating so fast that he thinks it's about to jump out of his chest at any moment.

"Come on in! I've been expecting you," Mr. Kang says with a welcoming smile.

Felix suddenly fills with hopefulness, he somehow gets the assurance that no matter what happens, he's going to be alright.

"I read your article as soon as I received it last night," Mr. Kang says, clasping his hands together in front of him.

From his expression, Felix can tell that he likes it or at least, he doesn't find it that bad, "And what do you think, sir?"

He smacks his lips together and nods, "I think you've done a wonderful job!"

Felix can finally let out a sigh of relief, he knows Mr. Kang will like it but knowing it for sure relieved him from the pressures that have been weighing on his chest.

"I'll have it published on the site tomorrow morning," he shares another great news.

"Published?" Felix asks in disbelief, thinking he misheard it.

"Yes," Mr. Kang excitedly answers, he then offers his hand at him and says, "Welcome to my team!"

Shaking his hand means that the climb is finally over but that also means he'll no longer be your assistant, his heart feels heavy about moving on to a new part of his career but it's necessary.

Felix takes a deep breath, takes Mr. Kang's hand, and then shakes it.

-

Felix feels bittersweet as he packs his stuff from the desk he's been working in for almost three years now. But he knows the bitter part is coming from knowing that he's not working under you anymore, at least, not directly.

The phone rings and shattering the melancholic moment for him, he immediately picks it up.

"Please come into my office!" You concisely say to the phone.

He doesn't need to answer but come into your office like you asked, "What can I help you with?" He asks as he stands in front of your desk, ready to take your orders.

"Oh, no. I'm not asking you to do things for me," you tell him, putting your files on a neat stack on your desk, "I only have a few things to say to you."

Somehow, hearing that makes him disappointed, he wants to do things for you before he can't do it anymore for you. "Okay," he meekly answers.

"Well, first, congratulations on your first article," you say, pushing the stack of files away to the side of the desk.

"Thank you," he gratefully mutters, "if you don't mind, I'd like to hear what do you think about it?"

You look up from the file you're holding, "I say it's a very well-written piece of writing. I think you did great on your first gig on the job."

You get around the desk and walk up to where you hang your coat to get your purse, "Which I also should congratulate you on that."

"Thank you again," he says with a smile.

"I promised you about doing something once you're finished with the article so..." you walk up to him and hand him your credit card, "Here, drinks are on me tonight."

That's not what Felix expected as something that you promised him but his disappointment doesn't stop.

"Unfortunately, I can't join the celebration. I have a family dinner to attend," you explain with an apologetic smile.

He's not upset about you not joining the celebration of his job promotion, but knowing that your ex-fiance will be there.

"Once again, congratulations and hope you enjoy your new role in the company," you say, keeping it formal and business with your courteous smile.

What did he expect though? He's working and he's in your office, you can't just run hug, or kiss each other.

"Thank you so much," Felix says and that's all he can say for now.

Honestly, he has something to ask you but not here, not now. He flashes you a grateful smile before turning around to leave your office but something keeps tugging in his chest and he needs to get it off.

Felix braves himself to just go with his gut and comes up to you, he gently places his hand on your elbow while using his body to shield this whole interaction.

"Hey, I know that we're still working and we're in the office but..." he pauses to breathe in and out while checking if you're comfortable with what he's doing.

"Can I take you on a ride this weekend?"

You remain quiet for a moment then a soft smile appears on your face, "I would love to."

Now he got his answer, he should be letting go of his hand on you but he insists on lingering there for a moment, seeing you eye to eye until it lessens the yearning in him.

When he lets go, he immediately takes a step back and raises your credit card, "Thank you for this. I'll make sure to have fun tonight."

Deep down, Felix knows he's excited for something else other than tonight.

-

The second Felix sees you coming out of the door, his heart palpation. He believes it's you and your radiant smile that makes you look stunning even though you're dressed in a plain white t-shirt and blue jeans.

He doesn't notice you've been carrying the jacket you borrowed from him in one hand until you come up to him.

"Have you been waiting long?" You ask.

He shakes his head and smiles, "Not long enough," he jokingly answers.

"I'm sorry. I had to take a phone call from my mom," you explain as you put on your jacket.

"That's okay. You're here now," he says, turning around to get a helmet for you.

You stand still as he helps you put the helmet on, he fixes your hair first, brushing it to the side but seeing your face this close and not kissing you feels wrong. Tempted, he holds your jaw and places a soft kiss on your lips, longer than he intended to.

When he pulls away, he sees your eyes are still closed so he allows himself to place a quick peck on your lips.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it," he apologizes.

You only respond with a low chuckle and tilt your head upward so he can clasp the straps of the helmet together for you.

Felix gets on his bike and puts on his leather gloves, then turns the key in the ignition until the engine roars to life. He revs it up a few times to get it warmed up then holds his stance to let you hop on the back of the bike.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

He puts his helmet on and pulls the visor down, before launching his bike towards the main road and rides on.

The weather is nice today, he plans on taking you on a slow ride out of the city through the scenic route. He stops at a few spots that offer breathtaking views and then stops at a diner to have a quick lunch.

On the road with you like this pulls him out of the harsh reality and into the life he dreamed where he can be with you without having to worry about what or where he is.

He remembers your hands were around his waist earlier but now, they're resting on his thighs again. He chuckles when he glances at it, and shifts his focus back on the road ahead of him.

In the afternoon, the weather takes a drastic turn as thick clouds cast dark shadows on a supposedly sunny day and not long after, the rain starts showering you together.

Since the rain is only getting harder and it's dangerous to keep riding, Felix stops at the first sighting of a neon sign that leads to someplace he can take shelter in.

What he doesn't expect is that "someplace" to be a motel, he cringes once he notices it but he already parked the bike and you already got off.

"Do you want to...?" He gives up on suggesting to check in to the motel, he alternates with a new idea, "I think there's a hotel not far from here—"

You hug yourself as your jacket is drenched and so are your jeans and shoes, "What's wrong with the motel?"

He takes your helmet from you and brushes his wet hair to the back, "Are you okay with it?"

"We can't keep riding in this weather," you simply answer, emphasizing that comfort comes second after safety.

The motel costs not even half of the cost of one day stay in a 5-star hotel you book in but for a motel, it's adequate. A bed, a TV, a working room heater, and complimentary packs of instant coffee.

You take the first turn to use the bathroom and come out wearing the t-shirt he bought from the souvenir shop downstairs that are two sizes too big for you because they only have one size available.

"That looks good on you," he sincerely compliments.

You shyly smile and sit on the bed next to him, "So what's for dinner?"

Felix scrunches his nose, embarrassed that he can't find anything decent except for some inconvenient store foods.

"Cup noodles and..." he brings the cup of instant coffee he made earlier, "Coffee."

You take it from him with both hands, using the heat to warm you up as you put your legs on the bed and cross it together.

"I don't know if you'll like it," he sheepishly says.

You take a careful sip and swallow it, doing it so calmly.

"How did it taste?"

"It's..." you pause for a second before continuing, "alright."

He can't help but laugh watching you befuddled by what you've just drank, "You don't have to keep drinking it."

"No, it's okay. It's not that bad," you assure him and take another sip of the coffee.

The night is getting late but the rain doesn't come to a stop, the constant raindrops pattering against the window somehow adding to the sentiment of the moment as he lays with you on the bed, sharing the thin blanket.

"This isn't what I planned for today," he groans as he stares at the ceiling.

"What was your plan?" You curiously ask.

"There's this nice restaurant with a nice view..." he doesn't continue his sentence but sighs.

"But this is nice too," you mutter as you snuggle close to his side.

Things didn't go as planned and Felix has been worried that you're not enjoying the trip as he wanted it to be, but knowing that you're enjoying this detour the same makes him feel relieved, he quietly smiles in triumph.

"And you know," you murmur, rubbing the tip of your nose against his cheek, "we can always make it better."

He'd be lying if he said this is not what he's been waiting to hear, you permit him to make things better.

"That's right," he agrees, putting his arm around you and pulling you closer. This way, he can look at your face and admire it, before slowly putting his lips on yours.

The truth is things will always be better when he's with you, either it's your smile, your hand that rests on his chest, or the warmth of your body against him. But it's the kiss, it's your kiss that makes things ten times better and reminds him of the purpose of his life.

He holds you tight as he deepens the kiss, one hand rests on the nape of your neck while the other grips your waist, steadily keeping you close to him.

But also, in a moment like this, something starts to gnaw inside him and force its way to come out. He slowly pulls away and tries to convey what's bothering him from the inside.

"I have to ask you something," he murmurs as his hand cups your cheek.

"Yes?"

He has arranged words in his head to say and opens his mouth but nothing comes out of it, "I think—"

The sound of the door being slammed shut startles both of you and Felix snaps his head in the direction of the door, turns out, the sound is coming from the next room as he can hear footsteps and also the TV being turned on as the noise drowning out the sounds of the rain.

Fuck, no! Things are just getting good and whoever stays in the next room decides to come back now, ruining the kiss, the moment, the tension building in the room, everything.

"Thin walls," you mutter, making it obvious that the two of you can't do certain things here without being heard by anyone in the next room.

"Yep," he bitterly answers, guessing that you're going to call it a night.

Instead of that, you get on top of him and kiss him deeply, "We just have to keep it quiet then," you easily resolve, planting your lips on him again.

That's an easy thing to say but a hard thing to do, not when your body makes him want to scream, letting the world know how heavenly your body is.

"Oh, you're so soft," he mutters into your neck as he runs his hand down your back as you sit straddling him.

You giggle as he roughly kisses your neck, you put your hands around his neck, letting him bury his head between your breasts which he's more than happy to do.

"You like them so much, mmh?" you murmur as you give his hair a quick ruffle.

With his mouth full of your breast, he can only nod in response.

"That's enough," you calmly order him to stop but he's too focused on enjoying himself.

You put your hands on his chest and gently push him away, forcing him to let go of your breasts. With his mouth gaping open, he looks at you in confusion.

"Lay on your back," you mutter right into his ear.

He slowly lets go of his hands on you and lowers himself onto the bed, laying on his back as you instructed. Soon after, you hover above him with your hands propped next to his head. You flash him a naughty smile before placing a passionate kiss on his lips.

"I'll take care of you tonight," you murmur with your warm breath brushing his lips as you speak along with a gentle caress on his freckled cheek.

That's a way to get him all hot and excited. Being naked on the bed with you is already enough for him and now you want to take care of him? This is too good to be true.

"I have a condom with me," he says, slowly getting up to reach for his jacket.

You push him down, so hard that it startles him, "I told you to lay back," you tell him again with a glare.

"Okay," he slightly stuttering as he lay back on the bed again.

Your eyes are staring into his eyes but your hand is gliding down his front and stops on his abdomen, trailing the outline of his abs with your fingers.

"We don't need that tonight," you tell him as your hand lowers to find his hardening length.

Knowing that you want to do it raw and added with the fact that he knows how good you feel around him without a layer of protection, those things tell him that it's not going to be easy for him.

"I need you to relax and just..." you pause as you start giving his cock slow, steady strokes, "...let me take good care of you."

Felix finds himself caught under your spell, repeatedly nodding and agreeing to whatever you say. You slyly smile as you're straddling him and begin to rub his cock between your folds, wetting it with your arousal.

"Oh, and one more thing," you suddenly add, getting him alerted when he's about to try to relax.

"What?" He asks with his voice turned hoarse.

Catching him off guard, you align his cock with your entrance and slide him in, making him groan at the overwhelming sensation.

You immediately cover his mouth with your hand, "Shh... keep it quiet, remember?"

This is your plan all along, making him struggle to stay quiet as some sort of entertainment for you but hey, as long as both sides gain something, there's nothing to lose here.

"How do I feel?" You ask, then remove your hand from his mouth.

He holds your hand close to his mouth and kisses your palm, "You're always good. Always," he emphasizes every word to you.

"Hmm... ah..." you let out low, breathy moans with your hands going all over.

Felix has the best view from under you, he can see his cock buried deep inside you and at the same time, watching you touch yourself. He joins in on the fun, using his hands to admire your soft, warm skin and touch you as much as he wants.

You take one of his hands, guiding him to where you want to touch him, down south to where you and him connected. From there, he needs no directions anymore, his fingers can easily locate your bundle of nerves and start circling on it.

"Oh, baby..." you moan and giggle at the same time with your head tilted upward.

After a moment, you look at him again and say, "I'm going to start moving, yeah?"

For support, you rest your hands on his chest and begin by slowly rolling your hips in a circular motion, making you feel his whole length inside you.

Felix realizes the danger he's in as he can feel how tightly you are wrapped around him, so hot and slippery. He keeps in mind that he needs to relax and stay quiet so he bites his lips to prevent him from making any noises.

The bed is fainty creaking as you rock your hips back and forth, making him feel the drag of his cock against your velvety walls in each movement. But with this steady pace, he's confident that he can hold it in long.

"You're so hard, so big inside me," you mutter to him while keeping your voice low and sultry.

You're using compliments now to get him off and strangely, it works on him as he tries so hard to do the opposite.

"And you're always tight for me," he compliments back, cupping your ass cheeks in his hands and kneading on them as he talks.

"You feel so good inside me," you praise him more with a rather sexy smirk on your face.

His brain is close to short-circuit, all he can do is return the compliments to you, "You feel so good inside me."

You slide your hand up and wrap your hand around his neck, "I don't think I'll ever find a more perfect cock to be inside me than yours."

With your hand on his neck, you can easily angle his head to make him look at you and ask, "Don't you think?"

"Yes, yes," he hastily replies as he feels your fingers pressing in around his neck.

With a sloppy kiss on his lips, you decide to let go of his neck only to change your position, you plant both feet on the mattress and put your hands behind you, propped against his thighs.

"This way you can see yourself slipping in and out of me," you tell him then proceed to show it to him by doing it.

Watching it and feeling it at the same time sends his mind into overdrive, he feels nothing but pleasure after pleasure, coming to him non-stop.

"Slow down, oh! Please!" He pleads while gripping your thighs so hard his fingers dug into the flesh

You hear his plea and abruptly stop moving, you get back to straddling him and leaning in as you softly ask, "Want to take a moment?"

"Yes, yeah," he breathlessly answers.

You hastily kiss his lips and hover above him again, "Okay."

Felix needs to calm down but he knows he can't waste the chance to be intimate with you, he pulls you by the neck so he can kiss you, hard and deep, taking as much taste of you as he could.

"I'm going to start moving again," You announce with a kiss on his cheek.

Felix thinks he's ready to go again but he believes it's mostly because he doesn't want to stop. There's a big chance that he'll be a moaning mess under you but does he mind though?

"Let's take it slow this time, yeah?" You sweetly mutter with a peck on his lips.

Your spell binds him stronger, all he wants to do is say yes to you and obey your words without question. It sounds easy to say but putting it into action is a different thing.

Keeping true to your words, you're moving at a slow pace, alternating between rocking your hips back and forth to roll your hips in circular motions. At times, you pull back just enough so you can take him deeper inside you.

"Argh!" He groans, finding it harder to keep quiet.

You grab his hands and place them on your waist, you keep moving while holding them, "You like that, mmh?"

His mouth is dry from constantly moaning so he nods instead.

"Mmh... You're getting bigger and bigger inside me," you say with a sly smirk.

"Oh, so fucking good..." you hum with eyes closed.

The way you're riding him and the way you're enjoying yourself riding him along with the sweet praises you utter in between, oh, he can't take it anymore.

"I'm going to cum," he blurts out with his hands gripping at your waist again, helplessly trying to stop you.

"Huh?" You ask in disbelief as you slow down and eventually stop moving, "Already?"

He hates to admit it but finds himself nodding, he can't lie when you can feel it inside you, how his cock throbs and pulsates with so much desire.

You hover with your face only inches away above him, "I'm so disappointed," you say.

Best believes Felix is also disappointed in himself for having such weak self-control, but what can he do? His body wants what it wants.

You bury your head in his neck and place soft kisses in there, "You can't cum yet, baby."

He takes a long, deep breath and looks at you through his half-shut eyes, "You're just too good," he explains with his deep, hoarse voice.

You catch his lips in a kiss and keep kissing him, your teeth playfully biting at his lower lip as a way to help him relax. When you pull away, you hold his face and take a second to admire the freckles dusted his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, it would take a lot of time to place a kiss on each freckle but it's a challenge you're willing to take.

"Can I continue now?"

Not sure he can hold back longer or even as long as the previous one, he stifles a nod in response to your question. What he knows for sure is he wants you, he wants you so bad.

You prop your hands against the mattress and stay hovering above him, "It's your fault for having such a good cock," you jokingly say with a kiss planted on his nose.

"I just want to keep fucking you," you say, starting to move your hips.

"And fucking you," you set a steady pace, pulsating your hips with intensity.

"And fucking you more," you continue, suddenly picking up the pace.

The previous stimulations are making him more sensitive than before and you become tighter, clenched around him and you're just so fucking sexy, fucking him with your breasts bouncing along to the movement and a blissful smile on your face.

"Oh, fuck," a profanity falls out of his mouth. He's really on the brink of climaxing.

There's no way he can get what he wants without asking, he ignores how pathetic he'll sound and asks you, "Can I cum?"

"No, not yet," you shortly reply.

"Please, let me cum!" He desperately begs, his eyes are fluttering shut and open, and he's holding on to the last shred of his sanity.

"Do you want to cum that much?"

"So much," he answers as much as he could.

You let out a light chuckle and kiss him as you lower yourself on him, you're probably seeing him like a needy baby and he doesn't mind at all.

You lean in and hold his gaze, "How about you finish it for us then?"

Did he hear that right? Are you letting him take control? Will he be able to handle it though? And so many thoughts are rushing through his head right now.

Not getting an answer from him, you kiss him to snap him out of his head, then ask, "Why am I not hearing anything?"

"Yes," he hastily replies before you change your mind. He puts his arms around you and rests his hands on the arch of your back, he allows himself to kiss you first before turning you over without pulling out of you.

Having you pinned underneath him doesn't change the fact that you still have him in your spell. Your body endlessly enticing him, the eyes you're giving him are seductive and you have that sweet yet devilish smile on your face, everything that makes you you is his weakness.

"Are you going to make me cum too?" You teasingly ask, tugging your finger between your teeth.

"I'll try," he manages to jokingly answer.

You softly chuckle and put your hand on his arm, feeling his bicep contract as you grip on it, "Let's see you try."

Now that he gets to do everything he wants, Felix can't decide what he should do first but he soon settles with a kiss, planting a kiss on every inch of skin he can land his lips on and eventually, makes a return to your lips again.

"I want you to do one more thing for me," you speak so low it's almost like a whisper.

His heart skips a beat and that's because he knows your request is never one that is easy to fulfill, possible but hard to achieve. Then again, your spell is still working on him and at this point, he's spellbound for life.

"You can tell me," he says to you with his fingers tenderly playing with your nipples.

You rest your hands on his shoulders and look at him with your eyes filled with wild glints, enchanting him to look back into your eyes.

"I want you to cum inside me," you casually say like it does not affect him whatsoever.

Felix feels a surge of electricity throughout his body, it makes him feel tingling inside and to his surprise, making him feel more alive. But his brain is processing your words slower than his body.

"Wh-what?" He stutters.

"You heard me," you coyly say, then your sly smile vanishes in a second as you ask, "Or do you want me to repeat my words?"

He knows the meaning of having you repeat your words to him and it's not good. His excitement is tinted with a slight fear now, but he's excited nonetheless.

"I heard you," he immediately says.

"That's a good boy," You mutter, the sly smile returns to your face as you slip your hand into his hair and softly give his scalp soft scratches, "Now, kiss me!"

He complies without complaint, lowering his mouth on you again and indulging himself with the taste of your lips, he patiently pries your mouth open with his tongue to slip in to get more taste of you.

Meanwhile, you part your legs wider and put them around his waist, crossing them by the ankles behind him, sending him launched deeper inside you.

"Oh, my fu—" he manages to stifle his breath, stopping himself from finishing cursing.

"Good, yeah?"

"Always," he hisses through his gritted teeth.

Felix can't decide where to look, he wants to see his cock going in and out of you but at the same time, he wants to see your face, how you're reacting to his performance and he ends up alternating between the two.

You take his hand, shoving his thumb into your mouth and sucking on it. He reckons you're doing it to prevent yourself from making noises.

He glances down to see his cock is slippery with both of your arousal then looks up to find you looking at him. Not just looking, you deeply look into his eyes with your innocent yet seductive eyes.

As he continuously thrusts into you, he bravely maintains eye contact with you and finds those eyes do more than just look, they're speaking so many words that the mouth can't say. They are filled with so much want, so much passion, they're provoking him and arousing him more and more.

"Are you going to cum for me?" You lowly ask.

"Yes."

"Going to fill me with your cum, yeah?"

He eagerly bobs his head in agreement, "Yes."

"Want to be filled with your hot cum," your voice is shaking as his body responds to your words by picking up the pace and he thrusts harder into you.

"You can't stop until you fill me full with your cum, mmh?" You grip the sides of your pillow as he thrusts even harder into you, sending your body forward with each thrust.

"You're so close, mmh?"

"Can I cum?" he asks with an overwhelmed groan.

"Now?" You calmly ask like you're not watching him struggling to keep it together.

"Please, let me cum!" He pleads, holding your waist so hard that his nails make crescent marks on the skin, "I can't hold it in. I need to cum."

Despite how tired he is, he keeps pushing himself to the limit, using all of his remaining strength to keep moving his hips and incessantly thrusting into you.

"Please..." he desperately begs with his eyes screwed shut.

You coil your hands around his arms and pull him closer, "Okay, baby, you can cum now."

With your permission, he can finally let himself go, thrusting into you and letting it take him to his release. He gets to the point that he stops caring about staying quiet, he wants to let you know how much he wants it by moaning and groaning to the pleasure that fills him to the brim.

With the way you keep clenching, sucking him deeper and deeper, it doesn't take long for him to finally come undone. Your legs are locked around his waist and you keep him close, not letting him pull away yet.

The feeling of filling you with his seed triggers something deep within him that makes him growl and it sounds nothing like a human with his deep voice, he hurriedly plants his mouth on your sternum to muffle his noises.

"Look at you cumming inside me," you murmur with your hands cradling his head in your chest and gently brushing his head.

"That's my good boy," you coo with a kiss on the top of his head.

-

The rain has turned into a light shower outside and the quiet in the room has been replaced with the echo of your giggles as Felix places ticklish kisses on your neck.

He's lying naked under the cover and cuddling on the bed with you, the things that he's not even dared to dream of ever happening but it happened, right here, in this moment with you.

"How are you—" you got cut off with a haste kiss on your lips to finish your words.

Felix shifts his attention to your breasts, taking them into his mouth in turn and twirling his slick tongue around your nipples, making them hard and wet.

"How are you still hard, mmh?" You try again as you put your hand in his dark locks and gently scratch his scalp.

What you're doing to him makes him purr like a kitten with his mouth latched to your breast, he closes his eyes and clings to your chest while his other gently kneading on the other.

In a tender moment like this, Felix sees for what you truly are: genuine, self-assured and you may seem aloof to many but you're very attentive, only if one knows to treat you right.

In this moment, he also feels like he can comfortably share things with you and vice versa.

Felix happens to have something he's been wanting to ask you, something that gnawing inside him and won't stop gnawing at him until he gets the answer.

"Can we keep doing this?" He asks.

The question catches you off guard, you stop playing with his hair and look at him, "You mean the sex or...?"

He realizes that his question lacks context, he chuckles and plants his elbow against the mattress, he uses his hand to prop his chin, "Since I'm no longer working under you, I figure that... you know, I'm afraid you'd find it uncomfortable to keep doing this," he sounds sad without he's intending to.

Felix knows that you value your privacy so much, he knows you're risking your family name by secretly going out with him like this and now that he's not directly working for you anymore, you would want to stop doing it as well.

"If that's what you want, I respect it. I'll respect your decision nonetheless," he quickly adds, not wanting to sound demanding or forcing anything on you.

"So... not just the sex?" You ask in confusion.

"Not just the sex," he answers, finding himself not able to look at you in the eyes.

Instead of answering, you stretch your arms out to the air and then drop them around his shoulders. You let out a delightful sigh and then smile at him.

"Well, first thing first, you're still working under me," you tell him with an eyebrow raise.

Felix grins and says, "That's fair."

"Second thing is unless one of us wants to stop doing this then I don't see why we should," you tell him.

"Do you want to stop?" He asks with his head beating out of control inside his chest, afraid of hearing the answer he doesn't want.

"No," you answer without a beat, "I like this."

Hearing you say something about this unnamed relationship makes him feel elated, moreover, he feels acknowledged and seen.

"You should worry more about getting the time to do this," you say.

"Why is that?" He asks in confusion.

"You're a journalist now. You'll do a lot of fieldwork, busy writing, and...'

"Nah. I don't. I don't think so," he doubtfully says, but he's confident that he can always make time for you.

Looking at his troubled expression, you let out a chuckle then continue talking, "The third and the last thing is... you will always be working under me," you mutter those words with a smirk on your face, knowing exactly what it does to him.

Those words aren't just words, they are a declaration of your dominance over him and it'll stay like that for the unforeseeable future. Felix doesn't mind being a submissive, he is in love with the idea of catering to your wants and needs, helping you to achieve things and the most important thing is he gets to stay close to you.

"Did that answer your question?" You ask while brushing his hair away from his forehead.

"Yes," he answers with a satisfied smile, boldly leaning in to place a long, lingering kiss on your lips.

"Do you have another question or do you want to try to make me cum for real this time?"

You were busy making him cum to focus on pleasing yourself and he was busy with himself trying not to cum fast, it's his turn to return the favor to you now. And let's say, he's determined to give you the utmost pleasure.

"I'll try harder this time."

"You'd better be."

-

If there's one thing he should learned by now is that you're right. You're always right.

Felix hardly comes to the office because he's busy doing his job on the field, covering various sports matches and events. He only comes to the office to attend meetings or when he needs to finish work by the nearing deadlines

He's well aware you're in there in your office, working and being your graceful self as always, but he barely has time to see you.

But today, he gets his chance. He purposely comes early to the office to borrow the office's laptop, there's hardly anyone in there except for the janitors sweeping the floor but just in case, he takes the longer route to the elevator and walks past your office.

At first, he doubts that you'd already come but the universe seems to hear his plea and decides to grant his wish, he enters your office and finds you standing behind your desk.

"You came early," he blurts out, still in disbelief that he finally meets you in person and not just a glimpse of you he sees through the window of your office.

You look over your shoulder and hang your jacket on the coat hanger before walking up to him, "You came early," you say back.

"I notice your new assistant isn't here yet," he says, pointing to his former desk right outside your office.

"She'll be here," you say, "after getting the copy of a book I want and my breakfast sandwich with a cup of searing hot coffee."

It feels like a distant memory that he used to be that person doing all sorts of errands for you, it's crazy that he's kind of missing it.

"Bookstores aren't open until 8 I'm afraid," he informs.

"Well, she only needs to find a bookstore that opens earlier than that," you say with a coy shrug.

Your cold act doesn't fool him, he knows you're actually a very warm person inside but then, he reminds himself that he's in the office now, therefore, he should act accordingly.

You're leaning against your desk and cross your arms together in front of you, "how are you?"

"Never been better," he says, now that he's seeing you looking as beautiful as always. He must say there's something that seems not right about you, he just can't tell what is it.

"Are you sure?"

He's busy figuring out what's different about you, "Huh?"

"You said 'never been better'. Are you sure?" You ask again, coming to close the gap between your bodies by a few steps.

Then he realizes that things are only better when he's with you, "Oh, sorry. I was wrong," he immediately takes back his previous answer.

You smile and take another step to close the gaping space between you and him, "Are you going somewhere?"

"Yeah. I need to interview this new baseball player," he explains, sparing the details from you.

"On your bike?"

He gets it that you're not interested in where he's going, "Yes," he answers.

You take the final step and stop right in front of him, you place your hand on the lapel of his leather jacket, sighing as you feel the fabric under your touch.

Afraid that anyone may walk into the office and see this, Felix looks around in slight panic, but the office remains empty just as he saw it a moment ago.

"Mmh..." you hum as you place your other hand on his chest and look up at him.

In your eyes he can easily find the answer, they're not filled with fiery glints and mesmerize him the same, they're dim and rather sad.

"Are you okay?" He asks, sensing that something is bothering you.

You shake your head and weakly smile, "You can always make it better," you give him a cryptic answer.

To his surprise, you bring his head close and kiss him, long and lingering, making his heart rattle in his chest. Your kiss is always something you assured yourself doing, it's something that he knows for sure you wanted but this kiss somehow feels different.

The moment you break the kiss, he smiles and asks, "Did we just kiss in the office?"

"Well, consider that as a professional courtesy," you give him a witty answer.

"Can we do this professional courtesy once more?" He appeals with his sweet, bright smile.

"Sure," you answer with a coy shrug.

He holds your face and then slowly leans in to kiss you, softly yet intensely. At the same time, this kiss helps him recall what it reminded him of and it's of the kiss you shared in the hotel room, that night after the boxing match.

When he pulls away, he wonders what makes you seek solace in him. What bothers you? Who dares to make you sad this time?

"Are you okay?" He asks again, allowing himself to cup your face in his hand.

"I feel better now," you assure him with a smile.

If there's something to gain, there's something to lose as well. Felix is living his dream job right now but in return, he's losing and that is time with you. He can feel that this distance strained your relationship in a way that he no longer feels as close to you as he used to be.

All of a sudden, you get back to your formality and walk back to your desk, "You'd better be on your way then. You don't want to be late for the interview."

He has the feeling that you behave that way because there's a presence of another person in there, he looks out of the window of your office and sees that your assistant has come.

"Wow. She's good," Felix lowly mutters, watching her bringing your breakfast on a tray for you.

"Good morning, ma'am," your new assistant says as she enters the room.

She walks past him and serves your breakfast on your desk, she then fills your glass with a newly opened bottle of sparkling water.

"Your breakfast," she says, announcing that it's ready for you.

She nervously stands with her hands clasped in front of her, watching you reacting plainly to it as you take the cup of coffee in your hand.

Before it gets awkward, Felix excuses himself out of your office but before he reaches the door, he can hear you ask about the book.

"I couldn't find any open bookstores so I have someone to deliver it soon," she says.

"We have friends in so many publishing companies and you can't get a copy for me?"

"The release date for the book is today. I don't think it's possible to—"

Felix shuts the door before he can hear the rest of the conversation, he gets a shiver from remembering the first few days working for you. This job is not for the faint of the heart, and he's partly lucky because you cut him a lot of slack.

"She's not that good apparently," he mutters to himself.

However, Felix lingers by his old desk and waits until your new assistant comes out of your office, her face flushed and she keeps her head down as she walks to her desk.

"Can I help you?" She asks.

Felix glances at the name on her desk then slides his phone on the table at her, "So June, this is my friend's number, I believe he can help you to get the book she wanted," he says.

June's face lights up, she quickly copies the numbers on Felix's phone and inserts them into her phone.

"What do you want in return?" She asks, knowing exactly that this should be a fair trade.

Felix doesn't need to put on a charming smile for her, he leans and whispers, "I just need to look at her schedule."

She gives him a questioning look, probably wondering what his intention is but she can't say any of that to her savior, right? She turns the computer screen toward him and pretends to be busy on her phone.

Felix knows where to check your schedule, he skips past the weekdays to see if you have anything to do on this weekend but they're blocked with red.

"What's with this? Why it's—" He asks June, tapping the computer screen with his finger.

"She said she's going somewhere and not to be disturbed," June answers.

"Do you know where?"

"Nope."

"Did she mention anyone going with her...?" He tries to sound casual as he asks it, pretending to not care but secretly dying to know the answer.

"She only said she's leaving for a personal matter," June simply answers, turning her computer screen facing her.

Trade is completed, he got what he wanted in return but did not quite meet his expectations. He can simply go back to your office and ask about it but he's going to be late for the interview.

As Felix stomps his way out of the office, he gets reminded of something, he opens his phone to check if it's right and he is, next Sunday is your birthday.

-

Felix knows almost everyone working as the concierge in your apartment building, they let him in without questions, probably thinking he's still your assistant or simply because they trust him. He doesn't know exactly when will you get back from your trip but he knows it's today because tomorrow, you have an important meeting with a client.

That's right, he eventually found that that you went on a weekend trip with a few friends to celebrate your birthday, he knows it for sure after seeing Suze's Instagram page.

So his plan for today is to prepare a welcome and birthday party at once, you'll probably be too tired to party anyway so he only set a simple celebration and a birthday cake for you.

As for the gift, he struggles so much to find one for you because one, you have everything, two, even if you don't have it, you can easily buy it yourself and third, doesn't matter what the gift is, it's the thought that counts.

He reckons, a gift that comes from the heart would make an impression on you so he baked the birthday cake himself and even bought flowers, in case the cake is a disappointment.

Is this considered as crossing the line though? He stands by his words that he's doing it out of good intentions and he hopes you see that.

He prepares everything in the kitchen, setting the cake in the middle along with the plates and cutlery, he also brings a bottle of wine that you like.

Oh, it's so convenient to know everything you like and don't like!

He's busy choosing the glasses for the wine when he hears the front door open, he doesn't know why but he decides to wait in the kitchen and surprise you when you walk in.

"Thank you," you mutter to someone, he guesses it's the doorman who helps you with your things, "And thank you for the ride home."

Oh? You can't possibly be thanking your chauffeur, right? Since when they walk you to the door of your apartment though.

"Want to come in?

"No, that's okay. You must be tired. You should get in and get some rest," the other person says.

Felix can't really see who it is but he heard this voice before. Getting curious, he walks to the foyer and keeps himself hidden behind the wall, he peeks just enough to see who you're talking to.

"What about you? You took care of everything the whole weekend and now you gave me a lift home. Must be tiring."

"Well, it's your birthday and it's the least I can do for you."

It's when he steps into the light Felix can see who it is, he stands there watching the whole interaction with jealousy in his eyes.

"I had a wonderful time. Thank you so much," you tell him.

"I'm glad you liked it and you're very welcome," Seungmin says, he then places his hand on your cheek and gives it a gentle caress.

"Don't think about it too much and just rest."

You smile as he takes your hand in his, "I'll try."

"Have a lot of rest," Seungmin says.

You nod, "Once again, thank you for everything."

"Get in and get some rest, okay? Goodnight," he says.

"Goodnight," you say back, then lean in to place a soft kiss on his cheek.

You watch him leave through the door and close it after, turning around to walk further inside to find Felix there, standing behind the kitchen island with a scowl on his angelic face.

You drop your purse onto the sofa and walk up to him, "Why are you here?"

"Are you getting back together?" Felix asks with his jaws clenched.

"I told you not to question me about it again," you calmly say, crossing your arms together in front of you.

He wants an answer but you're giving him nothing but acting like you didn't just play with his feelings, saying that you broke the engagement but now he found you doing the complete opposite.

Are you getting back together with him?" Felix accidentally raises his voice at you.

Despite him losing it right in front of you, you remain calm and do that thing where you massage your temple with your fingers which means that you're upset, or worse, stressed about something.

"You know what, Felix," You pause to exhale air and then intensely look at him, "Why is it important for you to know?"

Felix may have overstepped but now that he's done it, he may as well jump with both feet.

"Because I like you," he simply answers and since a part of it is already out, he may as well let everything out.

"You may think because it was once my job but it's not. I care about you, I think about you all the time, I worry whether you have eaten or not because when you're busy, you always forget to eat. I know everything about you, what you like, what you don't like and things in between you can tolerate. You know so little about me and that's fine, but you should know that I like you," he runs out of breath at the end of the sentence.

Instead of piling in on those words, he lets them hang in the air and eventually make their way to you, and perhaps, you get what he meant by what he said.

"I like you and you should've known that by now," He says to you, his eyes intensely staring into your eyes with either disappointment or affection, or a mix of both.

You stay quiet despite all these words he said to you, revealing what has infected his chest other than his feelings for you, there is jealousy and resentment, making a nest in the pit of his heart.

"And you know what I've only realized just now?" He pauses to let out a chuckle in disbelief, "I love you."

This is not how Felix imagined himself saying those three words for you but there he is, emptying his heart into words and hoping that you'll return it. He waits and waits, but all he hears is nothing.

"I don't— I don't know why I even tried," he mutters to himself with a dry chuckle.

Felix grabs his things and walks out of the door, and since the love is not returned, he leaves with a gaping hole in his heart and things couldn't be worse than this.

-

What's a better way to forget his misery than burying himself in work? He's been doing that for a week now and it works alright, well, until he comes home and is left alone with this thought again.

Tonight, he has a baseball game to cover. He could have watched the game through the live broadcast but he wants to get away from the office, not giving a chance for him to meet you or be anywhere close to you.

Being in the crowd is where he needs to be, the loud cheers help him to drown out his thoughts so he can focus on watching the game.

He jots down the important points of the game and when it ends, he hurriedly joins the other journalists to the press room to get a chance to ask the players about today's game.

As he waits with the other journalists in the room, he checks his work emails, replying to the urgent ones. He's aggressively typing on his phone when suddenly someone stops next to his chair.

He looks up to see if it's someone he knows and it is, but the one he expects to meet.

"I think I know you," Seungmin says, looking dapper in his navy blue suit and striped silk tie.

Who dressed like that to a baseball game though? Then it hits him that the home team is the one he owned and it happens that he also owned the stadium. He is in the enemy's territory here. Fuck!

"I see you're a journalist now," he says with a delighted smile.

Felix awkwardly gets up from his chair because it seems rude to keep talking to him in his seat while Seungmin is standing.

"Yes. I am," he says with a courteous smile while thinking of something to say to him.

"Congratulations on the win!" He sincerely congratulates him because his home team won the game tonight.

"What did you think of the game?" Seungmin asks, genuinely curious about his opinions whether as a sports journalist or acquaintances.

"Excellent!" He shortly replies,

"I enjoyed the game from start to finish," he immediately adds after realizing that Seungmin may mistake his eagerness for sucking up to him.

Seungmin nods and smiles so are the other two people who he assumes to be his entourage and that's what he believes is sucking up to him.

Someone appears on the podium to announce that the representative players are going to come out soon.

"Guess I have to let you do your job," Seungmin says, offering his hand for a handshake, "I can't wait to read your review of the game."

Felix shakes his hand and smiles, having nothing to say to his kind face because he expects the opposite from him, he wants Seungmin to be mean or says something coarse to him so he can hate him more. But no, Seungmin has to be a decent man and makes Felix the bad guy here.

-

Well, it's his fault for wanting more work and now, he has to work on the weekends too.

Felix usually hates going to prestigious events but he's attending with Mr. Kang since his wife is going out of the town for a seminar so he ended up inviting Felix as his plus one. He gladly accepted the invitation because Mr. Kang will likely introduce him to some of his friends which he can safely assume consists of acclaimed writers and journalists.

More importantly, Felix needs the distraction.

It's been a month now and he's still got nothing from you, it seems like what he said to you that night leaves no impression on you, as if those words were... nothing.

It has been a month and it haunts him still, how those words trailing behind him, unanswered.

Whenever the thought of you appears in his head, he'll swallow the bitter aftertaste that comes with it and move on with his day.

"You're dressed impeccably for the occasion, Felix," Mr. Kang says once they meet just outside the building where the event is being held, "But something about you doesn't play the part here."

It must be his mood, Felix just can't hide the fact that he's not that enthusiastic to be here. It would be unfair to Mr. Kang if he came just to ruin the night so he reminds himself to, at least, enjoy the company he's with.

"I'm just nervous, I guess," he lies, adding a sheepish smile to assure him.

"Oh, yes, I hope there's nothing else other than the nerves," he says, hinting that he's still concerned, "What about we start with a drink, eh? For the nerves?"

Felix smiles again and nods, "Lead the way, sir!"

The night gradually gets better with every person he meets and is introduced to, and every drink he takes to help him loosen up. At least that's something he can enjoy here, free drinks.

Call it a hunch but Felix knows that something will eventually ruin his night and it's walking up the stage right now to give a speech. His enemy but doesn't feel like an enemy to him, Kim Seungmin.

"Apparently, he donated a million to the sports foundation," Mr. Kang whispers, applauding for him with the rest of the people in the room.

It shouldn't offend him in any way, Felix doesn't have a million to donate to start with but every time he hears anything Kim Seungmin does, he hates it.

"The chief is also here," Mr. Kang delightfully gasps, pointing at you who stands not far from the podium where Seungmin is giving his speech.

Felix hates it more when he finds you there cheering for him with a big smile on your face.

"Let's greet her. Come on!" Mr. Kang drags him to join him walking up to you to say hi.

His heart is pitter-patting inside his chest, it's not excitement, not fear either, it's from not knowing what your reaction would be when you see or is he going to hate knowing that you don't care at all?

"How delightful to meet you here!" Mr. Kang gasps as he places his hand on your elbow.

"Oh, Mr. Kang, you're here and you're with..." your words trail off as you set your eyes on him, "... with your protégé."

Mr. Kang laughs at that and Felix should be honored to hear that he's unofficially his protégé but he's holding himself back from vomiting words at you.

"Yes, my wife is going out of town so I had the pleasure to take Felix instead," he says, glancing at Felix.

Felix gulps air and tries to remain calm, but he can't stand seeing you looking alright and acting like that night didn't bother you as much as it does to him.

"Excuse me, I have to go to the restroom," He turns around and leaves. He knows it's rude but he just can't stand it having to face you and his feelings altogether.

Instead of the restroom, he makes a turn to the bar and orders more drinks for himself, trying to drown his sorrow in alcohol. The bitter aftertaste of it is nothing compared to the realization that the hatred Felix has is not for Seungmin, it's for himself.

The next thing he knows, Felix finds himself following you and the tail of your black dress that sweeps the carpeted floor as you make your way to the restroom. Obviously, he can't go inside so he waits by the hallway, rubbing his eyes as he keeps wanting to close them, mistaking it for drowsiness.

A few minutes later, you come out holding your purse in front of you and before you can even recognize him, he grabs you by the hand and takes you to the end of the hallway.

There's no hint of surprise on your face when you finally see that it's him taking you away from the party. Gosh! He would be lying if he didn't think of kissing you, he wants to so badly.

He licks his lips like it would help him diminish the urge to kiss you and exhale air, not forgetting to slowly let go of his hand around your forearm.

"Why didn't you say anything?" He blurts out when deep down he wants to say how much he missed you.

You dare to look back at him as you lean against the wall, "What do you want me to say?" You calmly ask back.

Honestly, he wants you to say those three words back to him but that's just something he can't force out of you, but he will be fine if you only sigh in response to it, anything would do.

Anything is better than this suffocating silence.

"Do I really mean nothing to you?" He tries not to sound hopeless as he says it but failed.

"I think you're drunk," you state a fact instead of giving him the answer he seeks.

Felix is aware that he can't get what he wants by pressuring you so he tries another way. He takes your hands and holds them in his, leaning in close until his forehead is pressed against yours.

"I just don't understand... you said you broke the engagement but why are you with him?"

"I told you to trust me and you didn't," you simply answer while holding his gaze.

"How can I trust you when you can't even answer a simple question like that?"

"You didn't even give me a chance to explain," you snap, losing yourself for a moment there.

He pulls away just enough to get a good look at your face, "When did I—"

You cut him off with a sharp remark, "Maybe I was wrong about you."

"Wh–what?" He stutters, sensing the conversation is going off track, "What did you mean by that?"

"It's okay, Felix. You don't have to understand," you mutter, turning your body to leave but Felix is quick to stop you from leaving.

He holds you by the shoulders and pins you against the wall, "Say something, please," he says with an exasperated sigh, "I don't want to give up on you."

From the way your shoulders relaxed, he can see that you're softening around him, you inhale air and look at him again, "Or you can just... give up."

You take her hands and get them off you, slowly, you let them go until they return to his side. With one last look at him, you turn away from him and leave.

Felix's heart sinks deeper the farther you walk away from him and instead of making it better, things only get worse from here.

-

A month later, on a peaceful Monday morning, the news of you acquiring Sports One spreads on the internet and it doesn't take long for everyone in the office knows about it.

There's one question everyone is dying to know why did you bother to acquire it when it's owned by your family? Welp, Felix can only wish these curious people a lot of luck in getting an answer from you. One person though is neither surprised nor curious about it and Felix wonders if he knew about it before anyone else.

"Mr. Kang, you seem to know something we don't know," he playfully says as Mr. Kang is using the computer on the desk across from him.

Mr. Kang doesn't say anything but lowers his glasses on the bridge of his nose and lets out a chuckle, "Well, The Chief always said she wants to own the company."

"Isn't it hers already from the very beginning?" Felix's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. He stops typing and pushes his chair away from his desk, getting a little space to breathe.

"You could say that..." Mr. Kang says without looking away from the computer, then swivels his chair to face him, "But she didn't have the full authority over the company."

"So we're under her control now?"

Mr. Kang bursts out a laugh, he takes off his glasses now and lets them hang around his neck, "Well, we have always been under her control," he states the existing fact there is.

"And you're okay with it?" Felix curiously asks.

"One thing that I know for sure is that she truly cares about the company," Mr. Kang answers without a beat.

"Why do you think she did it though?" Felix says, failing to not sound like he cares too much about it.

Mr. Kang rubs his eyes before putting his glasses back on, he flashes him a thin smile as he riffles through a stack of papers on the desk.

"People put more interest in the reason why she did it but no one says anything about how she did it on her own," he says, pausing to let out a low sigh, "She's going against her family... so I can't imagine how lonely it must be for her."

Despite the amount of information you've shared with him, Felix never really takes the time to sit and think about it. He always thinks highly of you and expects the same out of you he forgot that you're just a human with feelings and thoughts, you have your struggles, the only difference is you hide them too well, you keep them and face them yourself.

And what Felix did? He's too focused on his personal issue with you that he forgot to be the help you needed.

-

Besides the fact that he's tied up with work, Felix couldn't find a way to reach you since you've been absent from work for a few days now. He walks past your office this morning and it seems like you're not coming today too.

He understands that you have a lot of things to do now that you become the sole owner of the company and Mr. Kang is temporarily taking your role in the office to handle everything.

Since he only came to the office for one thing, he stops by his desk to grab his laptop and got ready to leave again to work outside of the office.

"Are you leaving?" His colleague asks from the next desk.

"Yeah, I have an interview at the hockey training," he vaguely answers while carefully placing his laptop inside his backpack.

"You're not coming to the auditorium then," he says, swiveling his chair from side to side.

He then zips his backpack and slings it on one shoulder, "Auditorium? Why?"

"Must be the chief coming with the official announcement," his colleague replies.

"Oh?" Felix stops moving altogether and without thinking, he puts his backpack down on his chair, immediately canceling his plan to leave the office.

To avoid the queue for the elevators, Felix and his colleague are going to the auditorium at the last minute but thankfully, he comes at the right time. He can hear your voice even before he enters and when he is finally inside, he sees you already taking the podium.

Gosh! He misses you so much that his heart leaps at the sight of you. Instead of getting a seat, he decides to stand on the side of the room and crosses his arms together in front of

"... make necessary changes for the better of the company," you pause talking to take a second to look at everyone in the room.

Felix knows you can't see him among hundreds or so people in the room but somehow, your eyes are looking in his direction and he feels seen. You suddenly look away and continue with your announcement.

"And so we've come to the last announcement," you continue, flipping the paper in front of you.

"As I'll be focusing and continuing my work to shape the management of our company, I've decided to step down from my current position as Editor in Chief of Sports One."

The announcement comes as shocking news and is greeted by a collective gasps. Maybe it's coming from the fact that people know you've been doing your job well and you stepped down from the job seems unnecessary, including to him.

"And I'm using this opportunity to announce that Mr. Lewis Kang will be taking my role as editor-in-chief of Sports One effective immediately," you further announce.

The other news comes as another surprise but not as shocking as your exit, everyone seems to be happy to hear about it and begin applauding.

The applause intensifies as Mr. Kang steps onto the stage, Felix joins in applauding him, he couldn't be happier to know that the right person has taken over the job. But he also can't deny that he feels a little sad that you will not be working in the office anymore.

He watches as you and Mr. Kang exchange a handshake and a smile, inaudibly muttering something to each other before taking his turn to speak on the podium.

His eyes follow you after, watching you getting off the stage and talking to your assistant. He so badly wants to talk to you but he knows that what he wants to say to you is personal, and he's at work now.

Felix finished his work as fast as he could, he's riding his bike and pushing the speed to its limits, it's unclear whether you're at home or not but it's worth a try. The concierge lets him in without questions and he's going straight into the elevator, then pushes the button to your floor.

As he stands right in front of the door of your apartment, a lot of things rushing through his head, but ultimately, how are you going to react knowing that it's him knocking on your door? The possibilities include you shut the door right to his face or you don't open the door for him at all.

Now that he has explored those possibilities in his head, he knocks on your door and gives it a few seconds before going for another try.

A moment later, he hears clicking sound from the other side of the door and the door slowly swinging open. From every reaction he pictured in his head, the one he's seeing now is not one of them.

Your eyes are glassy and both of your cheeks are wet with tears, you're crying. This is the first time he sees you crying which makes it a heartbreaking sight for him.

The first thing that gets to him is the urge to comfort you. Without thinking or second-guessing your reaction, he comes up to you and holds you.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He asks while holding you tightly.

His question only makes you cry harder into his chest and then hoarsely say, "I have no one."

He gently holds your jaw and tilts your head to make you look at him, "What is it?"

With teary eyes, you look at him and swallow air to calm yourself down, then say, "I have nothing now."

"No, no," he hurriedly denies, holding your face as he stares back into your glossy eyes, "You have me."

Despite your triumph, you get nothing in return but loneliness that haunts you still. His heart breaks into a million knowing that he takes part in what caused you this much sadness.

"You still have me. I'm here for you."

He pulls you closer, holds you tighter, and uses the back of his hand to wipe the tears off your cheeks, offering you everything in him just so he can stop the sadness from taking over you.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you," he regretfully says, his heart shaking and aches in his chest.

"I'm sorry," he says again even though he knows how many times he says it won't change the fact that he is partly responsible for this.

You press your hand to your eyes to stop the tears from flowing and then look up at him, "I'm not getting back together with him. He was just helping me with—"

"Shh..." he hushes you, then places his hands on each side of your face, "You don't have to explain. I know."

Everything that happened, especially the bad parts, he's putting it all behind him and takes this as a lesson as he moves forward.

"I love you," he steadfastly mutters and this time, he asks nothing in return, he's saying it for the sake of letting you know that from this moment on, he'll stay by your side.

-

The bedsheets rustle as you squirming on the bed, your hands are interlaced with his and resting on your stomach as his mouth dives into your wetness.

Hearing your moans is like listening to his favorite song, he doesn't want it to stop so he continuously pleases you with his mouth, using his lips and tongue, alternating between sucking and licking to give you the utmost of pleasure.

"Baby oh..." you let out a broken moan as your waist is floating in the air.

He ignores it at first, thinking that you're simply reacting to him sucking on your clit.

"Baby," you whine again with your legs clamping his head in between.

Felix reluctantly lets go and looks up at you with his mouth glistening wet with your essence, checking if you're calling him to say something.

"You can take it slow, baby," You murmur as you slip your hand in his hair, "It's all yours."

It feels embarrassing that you called him out but what can he say? All he thinks about is pleasing you and he wants to do it well. Especially knowing that it's all his now and he can get as much taste as he wants.

He places a soft kiss on your inner thigh and crawls over you, then slowly putting his lips on your lips, ignoring that you can taste your arousal on him.

"How can I stop when you taste so good, mmh?" He mutters, along with a long peck on your lips.

You smile at him and it makes his heart burst, he can't help but try to catch the warmth of your smile with a haste kiss. You tug the hair on the back of his head and gently, pushing his head down.

"You can continue now," you tell him.

Oh, how he misses seeing this side of you that's bossy and confident, always telling him what to do because you know he'll do anything for you like a fool.

Felix is not afraid to say he's indeed a fool for you.

He enjoys pleasing you and he's just as pleased to know you're cumming against his mouth with your legs trembling around his shoulders. He looks up to see your mouth gaping open as a long moan escapes your mouth in one breath.

As you're slowly coming down from your high, Felix hovers above you and carefully lays himself on top of you, covering your face and neck with kisses.

The natural scent of your skin intoxicates him and gives him a sense of comfort that he can't find anywhere but there, in the crook of your neck.

"God! I missed you," He groans into your ear, letting you know how much this longing torment him.

You turn your head and capture his lips in yours, responding to his words with an eager kiss that shows how much you miss him too.

"Did you miss being inside me too?" You ask with a seductive smile.

"Oh, you have no idea!" He honestly answers with his eyes fluttering shut because he can't even picture how much he missed it, it's abundant.

"Why don't you put it in and show me how much you missed it, mmh?"

First of all, you don't have to ask for it and secondly, he'll show you alright. He crashes your lips on yours again, kisses that make you both breathless and dizzy from the lack of oxygen. He gasps for air the second he breaks the kiss.

Felix gives his throbbing cock a few pumps even though he knows how much it wants to be inside you right in this very second, he patiently takes time to tease your entrance, either with his fingers or the tip of his cock, getting you drenched in no time.

You keep arching your back at him, impatient to be filled with his length and at the same time, making him cannot wait another second to be inside you.

He aims his cock to your gushing hole and slowly pushes in, just the tip but it's only making him more impatient to push the rest of his length inside you. But he remains calm, fucking you with just the tip of his cock.

"How does it feel?" He asks you with his hands steadily keeping your legs open for him.

You look at him with innocent eyes that somehow only provoke him more, "I want more, baby."

"You want more?" He asks again with his hand tenderly rubbing your thigh.

"Yes," you innocently answer with a nod.

Since Felix wants more of you too, he gives you more of his length and looks at you again, "How about now?"

"More," you shortly reply.

"More?"

"Please..." you sweetly say, making his insides melt and arousing him at once.

He rushes to give you a kiss then says, "Your wish is my command."

Felix pushes the remaining length into you until he's buried to the hilt inside you. He bites his lips to muffle his grunt of pleasure.

"Oh, baby..." you breathlessly moan with your hands fisting the sheet underneath you as you take his whole length inside you.

He gives your thighs gentle rubs and looks down at you, "Always taking me well," he coos at you.

All of a sudden, you put your legs around his waist and pull him closer, at the same time, sending him launches deeper inside you.

You hold his chin as you place a soft kiss on his lips, "Make love to me."

You kiss him again, longer and tenderly, "Gently," you add.

Like he said, your wish is a command to him. Felix starts moving, thrusting into you at a painstakingly slow yet steady pace. His lips always latch on you, your lips, your neck, your chest, just anywhere where he can land a kiss on your soft skin.

For once, Felix doesn't want to make sex more than just a physical pursuit, he wants to make love to you like you wanted, showing you how much he loves you, cares for you, and how you'll always come first to him above everything else.

"You always feel good around me," he praises as you closes your eyes, overwhelmed with pleasure under him.

Unable to speak, you pull his head close so you can kiss him and for the rest of the night, letting him take control.

He presses his mouth to your ear and whispers, "Oh, you keep clenching around me, baby."

Your chest is heaving and your breathing is ragged, the moans spilled out of your mouth are incoherent and breathless. He knows he's doing well at getting you closer to your release so he keeps the pace and restlessly thrusts into you.

"So beautiful moaning for me like that," he coos, attentively brushing the hair out of your face.

Without stopping, he thrusts into you and lowers himself onto you to give you the closeness you seek. He kisses you and maintains eye contact with you as he once again speaks out his heart.

"I love you so much," he tells you.

From the way you keep clenching and your walls pulsating around him, he knows you're on the brink of climaxing. He kisses you hard and deep, before propping his hands against the mattress to give him the leverage he needs to keep thrusting.

"Close, mmh?"

You nod in response with your eyes fluttering shut and your hands gripping his shoulders.

"It's okay. You can let go," he tells you while picking up the pace of his thrusting.

Your moans turn into breathless cries, or that's what he think you're doing, just overwhelmed with pleasure that fills your body.

It takes a few more thrusts to get you to your release and Felix slows himself down, giving you time to relish yourself from the waves of pleasure washes over you. As he lowers his lips on you again, he finds you crying again.

Panic, he hurriedly holds you close, pulling the duvet to cover both of your bodies just in case the cold bothers you.

"Are you hurt?" His voice is heavy with concern, he's putting your hand away from your face so he can see you.

"Did I hurt you, baby?" He asks again with his hand checking every part of your body.

You shake your head with your eyes screwed shut and tears rolling down the side of your face, seeping into the pillow. It's a relief to know that he doesn't cause it but he's panicking still for not knowing why you suddenly cry.

"Don't cry, please?" He begs as he gently wipes your tears with his knuckles.

He hastily kisses you even though he can taste your tears and holds you tight, patiently waiting for you to calm down so you can tell him what made you cry this time.

"Felix," you croak as you brush your tears away with your palm.

He cradles the side of your head and looks at you with such loving, "Yes?"

You put your hand around his neck and hold his gaze, "Thank you for being here with me."

He catches your hand and kisses your knuckle, "I'll always be here for you," he assures you.

You exhale air and lick your lips before talking again, "And I know I'm late to say this but... I love you too."

To say that he's happy is an understatement, he's ecstatic, over the moon to hear you finally say those words back to him. His heart inflates and overflows with warm feelings, it would be a lie if you couldn't see hearts in his eyes as he looks at you.

"I love you so much," you say with a hand placed on his cheek and a smile on your face, making his dream come true all over again.

Knowing that his feelings are being reciprocated and Felix must say, things couldn't get any better than this.

-

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[mj0702]

For @helen-with-an-a

Lucy was laying on the couch Ona pressed against side and partly on top of her your sister absently drawing patterns on her girlfriends back as she heard the door got opened – rather aggressively. Seconds later you made your way into the living room and alone on the way you stormed inside Lucy saw how angry you were. You stood in front of them and looked down on them with an absolute furious look on your face

“Yes?” your sister looked up at you bewildered

“You...” you growled out before your focus switched to Ona “... and YOU”

“Bubs... calm down and tell me.. us.. tell us what upset you” Lucy said trying to calm you down

“BOTH of you are fucking hypocrites!!!” you said and both Lucy and Ona sank a little deeper into the couch by your outburst

“Excuse me” your sister asked perplex

“I just got asked by a “fan” if your little tete-a-tete started... if it really started at Lstans wedding or even before when you were both in Manchester?” you exploded before pointing at Lucy “YOU get angry and upset because I didn't say anything about Georgia and here YOU are fucking that little spanish girl all the way back then... I can't believe you did this to me... you Lucy... YOU of all people... did you even wait till Kei moved out??”

“Woah calm down...” Lucy said sitting up after she gently nudged Ona of her “You do NOT speak like this to me OR Ona...”

“You apparently don't talk to me either” you spat back and Lucy saw how your fingernails were digged into your palms

“Calm down” your sister repeated soothingly

“The fuck I will” you said furiously turning around leaving and as you were about to leave the room you couldn't hold back and punched the wall

“Y/N Tough Bronze! Come back here - NOW” Lucy exclaimed shocked and angry at the same time

“NO” you yelled back already halfway down the hallway

“I'll...” your sister looked at her girlfriend pointing in the general direction where you just disappeared to “I don't know what's going on – but please don't take her seriously”

“I would lie if I'd say it doesn't hurt what she said” Ona said carefully

“I know... and I'm sorry – but... I'll figure it out okay?” Lucy said pleadingly

“Go.... whatever is going on – she needs you” the blonde spaniard said offering a weak smile and Lucy left towards your room

“Can I come in?” your sister asked through the closed door

“You can go and...” you started to spat already throwing stuff into your bag

“... if you finish that sentence there will be consequences” Lucy interrupted you angrily before she took a deep breath calming herself down

“No need....” you said coldly after you ripped your door open with your bag in your hand storming past her – or at least you tried

“No you don't...” your sister reacted quickly grabbing your arm “We're going to talk about it – you won't run away”

“Let go” you growled towards her “... or I see myself kicking your right knee – hard... very hard”

“Go on then... do it.. kick my knee if it makes you feel better – but I won't let you leave” Lucy said calmly her grip loosening a little around your arm

“Lucy.... let go” you growled

“No...” your sister said lowly “... I NEVER cheated on Keira... NEVER...”

“You fucked...” you spat but your anger started to leave your body with Lucys calm demeanor

“... I never... not until I transferred to Barcelona – you know Keira and I were way over at this point...” Lucy said honestly

“... but you never talked to me.. you never told me” you said your anger switching to sadness

“... I didn't know how... you love Kei... you adore her....” your sister said letting go of your arm seeing you wouldn't try to run again “... I didn't want to bring you into a position where you feel the need to pick sides – I wanted to wait until you would … I don't know.. better understand the situation or see how good friends Kei and Ona are so it would be.. easier?”

“You got so mad because of G and I and yet here you stand saying you wanted it to be easier” you said sadly

“I'm sorry about who I reacted about G... I really am Bubs” Lucy carefully laid her hand on your shoulder

“Okay...” you said not really comfortable with your sisters touch at the moment but still needing the physical touch

“Bubs please...” your sister pleaded with you for a little more reaction feeling how tense you were

“I... just can't at the moment...” you said “... can I please leave? I'll be at Keiras”

“Sure...” Lucy said biting her lip hard so you wouldn't hear how hard it hurt her you asking her that question “... of course you can leave... Just... just let me know when you're at Keis okay?”

“Yeah okay” you breathed out before you walked down the hallway

[thatfuckinjester]

sorry i missed yesterday but now i can just mix them :D

thanks to @cirrus-ghoulette for organizing whumpmonth!! also i'm using @wrathofrats beautiful dividers!!

Days seven + eight: Broken bones + "Who did this to you?"

Phantom can't really explain it, but there's something so comforting in this whole situation.

Laying on the cold grass, not being able to talk, to call for help -not like he even wanted to, not like help would come- or do anything really, just let the tears from the pain and shock fall down his face, map them out with wet lines.

And he can't even look at the stars, which was the only thing he wanted to do but it's not like it matters, the stars don't want him there.

And Phantom thinks that it's just so funny, because it happened by mistake, the funniest mistake that happened to him lately.

And yeah, maybe falling, well getting pushed really but he can't think about it right now, from the rooftop is horrible and painful, but he can't help the laugh that's bubbling in his chest.

And maybe he just play along with it all, maybe he should let the darkness that's creeping towards the center of his sight take over.

Maybe...

Maybe he'll catch on fire.

Phantom shuts his eyes, it won't really matter if he rest for a bit, he knows that he'll never go home again.

And yeah, maybe thinking about the pack as home is scary, because when did that happen? But Phantom is already drifting away, too far to think about it.

And it's a funny dream he finds himself in, really.

Aether is there, and Phantom likes him, even if the bigger ghoul scares him most of the time, he makes sure to tell him that.

He likes the small smile Aether sends his way. He doesn't like the frown on his face though, or the way his back was tingling.

"Tell us again," Omega asked and Phantom honestly forgot that he was in his dream too, he likes Omega too, there's something very confusing about him, but he feels like what home is supposed to be.

He likes the way Omega's ruffling his hair. And once again there's that frown he hates.

"Focus Starlight," And Phantom tries, but this dream feels so weird, so much more dizzy and fuzzy than usual.

"Who did this to you?"

"Did what?" Phantom asked and Omega looked away for a second, his hand still petting Phantom's hair but everything feels heavier.

"Who pushed you, love?" Aether came into frame again, Phantom knew that his tail was supposed to be waggling, he can't really feel it but it's okay, or at least he thinks it's okay.

"Pushed me?" He's so confused. It's a dream, dreams supposed to be nice, not whatever this is, he shouldn't hear beeping, shouldn't feel so little, dreams were his specialty, after all.

"Oh." He said, maybe it's a memory type of dream, maybe he needs to remember something like when he fell asleep baking cookies.

"The stars pushed me," He started and then thought a little bit more.

"But it happened by mistake, I swears to Satan it was just a mistake. They were just upset."

Omega looked at Aether as Phantom kept talking again and again about a dream and angry stars.

Maybe dosing him with painkillers was too much for the little ghoul, but with a vertebral fracture it's preferred, especially with how much Phantom screamed when they moved him.

Phantom once again called Aether cute, mentioning another thing he loves about the ghoul. It could've been nice, Phantom never really opened up to them like that, but with everything that's going on it feels horrible.

Aether smiled and kissed his forehead, as if it was his own little promise to find out who that stardust character was on the roof that night.

[itsrainingbubbles]

We should get married

...what?

I said we should get married

No, I know what you said, but what!? Where is this coming from?

I've been thinking a lot about it

That's never good

Hey! I'm trying to be genuine here!

Sorry, sorry, continue

So while you've been gone I've realized that this is like- the worst thing ever

Haven't you had many near death experiences?

Shut up! You being gone is the worst thing ever

If you say so

I do say so! Now let me talk. Being apart from you is the worst feeling ever, I miss you all the time and that's not something new, I always miss you even when you're just a 10 minute drive away, but now I miss you and I have no easy way of getting to you and it's the worst. Torao, I want to be near you all the time, I want to stop missing you because we'll always be together, I want to spend the rest of my life with you and even longer after that. I want to marry you, law... Do you want to marry me?

...

Torao?

..give me a second, lu-ya

Are you crying?

Maybe. God you can't just say things like that! Especially when we're so far away! You have no idea how bad I want to kiss you right now!

I think I might know the feeling, but you haven't given me an answer

Right, okay, I'm gonna say something but you aren't allowed to interrupt me, okay?

Okay

Okay, Lu-ya, Luffy, I love you so damn much and hearing you say you want to marry me makes me so fucking happy you have no idea. You have me over here crying at 1 am and it's so frustrating I can't kiss you stupid but maybe it's for the best right now since I know if we we're together I'd say yes with no hesitation. I want to marry you, but right now I don't think it's possible with my schedule and everything going on, but that's not a no. When I marry you I want to have all the time in the world for you, so let's make a promise. Not exactly an engagement yet, but a promise to be engaged if that makes sense. When life isn't quite as busy, ask me again, or maybe I'll ask you next time around. Is that okay, Luffy?

YES! That's more than okay torao I was scared you were just going to say no!

That's ridiculous, honestly I'm fighting the urge to get on a plane and elope right now

Is that an option?

Technically yes, but when I marry you I want to stay with you and not have to get on a plane immediately after and be apart again

Shishisi 'when'

Yes, we've established this, I plan on marrying you eventually

Still nice to hear it though

[aihoshiino]

Hey! I’ve been hearing a debate pretty recently about Kana’s character, especially after 151. Some are saying that Aka is weakening her character…ignoring her past development..reducing her to a love interest…etc, stuff along those lines, by making her dream be just being Aqua’s idol. What’s your take on this?

Saying this with the full awareness that i am Asking For It by phrasing it like this but. this honestly just feels like a bad faith read by people who already don't like aqukana/kana in particular LOL. Like... idk, I can get being frustrated by the sudden swing over to all the romcom stuff again when we have A Potential Serial Killer just kind of vibing in the background, but Kana -> Aqua is something that's been part of the series for over a hundred and thirty chapters. It was going to need resolving before the series ended regardless of whether they actually hook up or not and it's baffling to me that people are throwing this accusation at Kana's arc when like... sorry, but Ruby is right there, lol

Like, if we're going to talk about 'ignoring past development' and 'reducing her to a love interest' whose dreams revolve around a romance with Aqua... is that not just describing Ruby since 123? Everything to do with Sarina's trauma of abandonment and emotional abuse at Marina's hands and the way it continues to affect Ruby, Ruby being triggered and retraumatized by having to engage with material depicting Ai's abuse at Ayumi's hands, the way she mistreated and took Kana & Mem for granted while she was clout chasing and how that caused fan backlash against those two while they did their best to keep B-Komachi afloat for her - all that shit goes out the window at mach speed once she finds out Aqua is Gorou and she spends the majority of her screentime after that gushing over her oniichansensei and having her narrative recentered around her obsession with Gorou. Never mind how bizarrely she'd flanderized and dumbed down she is in relation to it all.

(Note in advance: shout out to this thread by KizzityKaito on Twitter that I stumbled on while I was chewing on this ask that helped me to articulate some of the stuff re: Kana that I was kind of struggling to put to words - I don't agree w/the whole thread but I think the Kana analysis here & 'reincarnation as child acting' is fascinating and really in line with what OnK seems to be going for.)

By contrast with Kana... this feels consistent to me! This feels like additive characterization building on top of and not contradicting what came before. I've seen people frothing and screaming about her talk vis-a-vis being an actress not being her 'dream' but like... that just kind of checked out to me?? Kana is an actress. If that's her 'dream', she's already achieved it, as she says. Everything else has been her fighting and clawing to hold onto it. That's what she means when she says she didn't have any dreams; for Kana, becoming a nationally recognize actress again isn't a dream because it's just a return to the status quo.

Not only that, but like... being an actress wasn't even necessarily Kana's dream in the first place! She herself outright says it - it was enforced onto her by her abusive mom so she could live vicariously through her.

That's not to say Kana hasn't found her own spark for acting and that she isn't deeply passionate about it in her own way. But again, this is something Kana already has. A 'dream' is something you want to achieve - it's something you, well, dream about. And if you read between the lines, Kana's dream has never really been about acting.

It's about love. It's about Kana feeling secure in her relationships with the people she loves.

I think a lot of people are taking Kana's words in 151 entirely at face value and just... totally failing to read the subtext because they've been ignoring her all this time and now her arc is actually coming to a climax they don't know what the conclusion is building off of lol. Kana's 'dream' right now is something pitifully simple - to have the boy she loves not even return her feelings necessarily, but just to say that in his eyes, she shines brighter than anyone else.

[etincelleart]

I'm sorry that people hurt your relationship to 'RWBY'. It sucks that this fandom is so ready to go to the torches with that sort of junk.

I'm glad that 'Spark' has breathed new life into you and it's nice to see you keep drawing Gris and Fauve. :D I hope, someday, you'll feel comfortable to come back to 'RWBY' and those wounds heal in time, or at least stop stinging.

There is no need for you to justify yourself to anyone. As you know in your head, you have done nothing wrong. But you also don't owe your EXISTENCE to anyone else. What matters is that you exist, however that makes you feel best, and your existence is for you and ONLY you. You have nothing to prove or justify to others and you deserve to live for your own happiness, not to meet the unreasonable expectations of others.

I know that you are kind and gracious and loving. Even if others don't believe that, that doesn't change what you are and there are better things for you to do with your time, energy, and space than sate their unreasonable demands for proof or justification.

Maybe I'm reading your post wrong. I could be. But you just being here is enough, and the most important thing of all is that you exist. What you do with that existence is up to you, for no other purpose or reason other than what you decide.

That's really unfortunate this happened and went that way, but I'm grateful for the support and for people loving my work and appreciating my ocs as well, thank you so much.

You're right about justifications, that's something I really did a lot this year, not only online but irl as well. I get that talking is important, but you shouldn't have to justify your entiere existence to people. And that's really unfair when I don't ask other to justify themselves, because I simply don't have the right to do it, but people shouldn't have to ask me to justify myself. Honestly, the mood I have now is that I should more tell people to fuck off. :')) Not because of anger but because I have to put boundaries that I want to respected, for once really

Anyway, I'm happy you see me that way, and I think now that as you say, what's important is that I know I did nothing wrong, and my friends supported me as well because they know me and I'm glad they believed in me. It still hurts that some chose to believe nonsense but that's up to them now, I'm honestly better off people who doubt the second something like that happens.

I'm rambling now but I'm still thinking about all of this--- it's been a lot, basically march, april, may and now june are just months to process and recover of what happened with the loss of my cat, but also this because it hurted me so so so much and I just bottled it because too much was happening at the moment. And even if at the moment, the most important thing was my saying goodbye to the cat - my friend and furr baby I grew up with, it's thought to think about these events with some perspective months later. Being known in a community is something I never expected to be so pressuring, especially not for that kind of reason really...

I'll definitely come back to RWBY but I'll stick to what I should do, aka draw it when I really feel like it, when the hype is kicking, not for anyone else. For now I'm really happy with my Spark characters ♥

[imminent-danger-came]

The 1x00 AHiB -> 4x06 glowup

[whentherewerebicycles]

question: when you're starting a new job, what do you most want out of your first week of onboarding? what's most helpful for you to know/understand upfront? also... what's not helpful? tell me your onboarding nightmare stories too lol

[jils-things]

memoryshipping x studio ghibli: the masterpost ✨✨

see them separately: (x) (x) (x)

no need to rb!

[aberooski]

If I take a second to breathe and think and 3 seconds into it someone calls me over the radio to come clean something they could do themselves again I'm going to actually scream

[ox1-lovesick]

sorry for being ia I just haven't been in the best place mentally

[levil0vesyou]

Having a post get popular enough to be independently reblogged by someone you follow but aren't mutuals with is. Wild

[cornertheculprit]

wait omg i didn't realize the hd version of turnabout goodbyes changed phoenix's inner dialogue to edgeworth in the detention center to "(i didn't want to see you like this, either. believe me.)" vs. the original which said "(hey, i didn't want to see you either, believe me.)" that's so funny. they said yeah he's being too much of a bitch here let's make it a little nicer

[eats-the-stars]

love the guy assigned to my case at the “help you get a job” program. i have exactly 2 modes. 1) procrastinating until the absolute last minute. And 2) guess I will complete months worth of work that is also due at the end of the year in exactly 3 days of non-stop effort. You can basically flip a coin as to which approach my brain will decide to take for any given task.

so yeah I have a job now. and my poor case manager dude is like “wait. no. that was so fast. it’s been one week. you did how many interviews? and you picked...this one. the one that is not like anything you have done before and also was not on the “jobs I think would work out for me” list that we made?”

and he was scrambling like “accommodations. training. oh god. um. do i need to talk to your employers?” and getting more anxious when I was like “no i think I have it covered.” like i am sorry bro but i know that my vibes in person are like “quiet forgetful autistic person who can pass for either a high school student or a grandma at any moment” and this does not inspire confidence, but I am actually pretty independent once someone gives me a little push to start a thing.

also...dude you have my job history. winter sports area general worker (concessions, ticket sales, renting ski/snowshoe equipment, managing cross-country trails, monitoring the tube hill, etc.). family restaurant hostess (basically every role in the place except a cook). person selling fireworks out of tent for all of July while also living in a smaller tent behind the shipping crate filled with things that go boom. call center customer service rep handling 4 different clients that range from crafts and home decor to incontinence products and super expensive furniture. freelance dog-sitting with clients ranging from “rich couple who wants me to let their elderly cockapoos out twice a day for $50 bucks a pop in a house with a basement theater” to “i’ll give you $10 a day to exercise and feed the 3 huskies in our small apartment also they can jump higher than you are tall and scream louder than you thought possible.” bro we added a whole “volunteer experience” section to my resume because I wrote grants and worked with an environmental group to restore native bluebirds to the community and volunteered at the community table and the animal shelter and the library. like i have done lots of things that are not really connected at all. someone says “hey do you think you could do this?” and I am suddenly living out of a tent for a month googling “what the fuck is a crossette?” i once ended up in Memphis for 2 months doing volunteer construction work in the aftermath of a hurricane because my cousin didn’t want to go alone and everyone was like “oh we know someone who goes with the flow so hard.”

so you better believe i told you “oh i don’t know, maybe a receptionist position would be nice” and then applied to every local job known to god and then a few extra and took the first one to say “cool can you start next week?” i know i did not give off “I will try anything at least once if you ask me fast and then go ‘great!’ before I can process what i agreed to” vibes while sitting in your office in my colorful leggings, grandma sweaters and animal hats while not making eye contact and talking about how lovely my nephew is and how much I enjoy quiet time alone and gardening and i struggle with a poor memory and navigating social interactions. but i know you proofread my resume my guy. you asked questions about all these things except the construction thing because i actually forgot to mention that actually which is good because then i might have had to mention the cult involvement that i wasn’t aware of until i was stuck on-site but it all worked out so no sweat. still, i am glad that he is concerned by my “out of the blue” spontaneity. it’s kind of his job to help people settle into jobs that they can handle, and I also know that I would realistically need more assistance from him if I wasn’t so good at adapting on the fly due to my bad habit of saying “sure, I can do that” to literally anything. also my new job is honestly pretty tame, so i am not sure what he is freaking out about. i should really not mention some of the other jobs i spontaneously applied for before accepting this one. like..my friend...i could be working in a bridal shop. i could be training to install and repair vending machines or decorating cakes or delivering medical equipment. i applied for a job that was literally “window production.” none of these are actually as wild as that time I spent 2 months with a religious cult doing manual labor and living out of an abandoned, half-destroyed school building because my cousin talked me into it. i had to watch a dramatic reenactment of the crucifixion of Jesus on my very first night that brought the whole gymnasium of strangers to wild, howling tears while I was awkwardly clapping my hands as my cousin sobbed incoherently into my shoulder. i once dog-sat a bluetick coonhound for 2 weeks in the dead of winter, and the snow if his yard was so high that he was able to jump the fence and book it down the street. i had to chase him through knee-high snow for over an hour before he stopped to sniff a bemused old lady long enough for me to catch him. i once had a customer at the restaurant rail at me for a good twenty minutes because she was absolutely sure that we did serve pineapple upside down cake and i was just withholding this dessert from her, specifically. the bar for “jobs I would apply for” is so low that I actually thought “well as long as nobody spits in my face, pukes on me consistently, or shanks me in the kidney again I could probably do anything.” although to be fair to my case manager i did not mention those things to him (except the pineapple upside down cake lady because I mention her all the time, i am still pissed off about that situation). also, my sister was actually the one to have a dog wake her up in the middle of the night only to puke directly into her mouth, but I watched it go down, so the psychic trauma of witnessing that still exists.

[mattynmarns]

hey so