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purplesurveys · 3 years

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The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? Yeah, I’m pretty paranoid and always feel the need to use conditioner because of a bad rebonding job from like a decade ago that stiffened up my hair as soon as it would get wet. It lasted for around a year, so I formed the habit of always using conditioner every time I shower. I don’t think I’ve ever used just shampoo since then.

Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark, but I suppose it would be nice to start experimenting with lighter shades as well.

When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? It depends if I know the lyrics or I’m feeling the song at the moment. Obviously with my new obsession with BTS I can’t really sing along to entire songs, but I do sing the few English lyrics they have per song, hahaha.

Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah but she’s been muted for like half a year already, as is the rest of her family. I do have plans to unfriend her entirely; I’m just not sure when I would push through with it, and I already gave Angela permission to log onto my account one of these days to be the one to do the unfriending.

Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Gabie. I miss the friendship sometimes; I don’t think I’ll have a friendship as deep and connected as the one we had, so I will always feel sorry about how that went to waste. But I don’t really think about our relationship anymore as I’m pretty good at blocking off certain memories, so I don’t miss her in that sense.

How many cars are parked at your house right now? Two.

Do you have any Italian ancestry? I highly doubt so. If anything there’s probably a tiny drop Spanish blood in there but that’s the most European I’ll ever get.

Do you prefer water to be ice cold or at room temperature? Like, drinking water? Ice cold, always. I hate warm water.

Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? Not to my face, but I know I’m one so I’m sure other people have said that about me at least behind my back.

Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? Yes, my friend Mik and one of my aunts. They were both found eventually.

What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Eating ghost pepper instant noodles was a pain I would never want to go through again...I threw that shit out after my first forkful, lmao.

Do you need to talk to someone? No, not in particular. In a more general sense I do wanna start gaining more friends though, so I’ve been meaning to expand my circle by creating a new Twitter account just for my BTS dump. In other words, I am a 23 year old with a stan Twitter HAHAHAHA

Is something confusing you at the moment? No, I’m good.

When was the last time you had a real deep chat? Maybe my conversation with Andi a couple of nights back. We were talking about a tricky situation with their ex-friend who turned out to be a real dick when they came out to him a year ago, and they just wanted to get my perspective on how I would handle it.

Who did you last see on webcam? The PR manager for one of our clients, who we all despise because he doesn’t know how to do his job. Thankfully he’s resigning soon so we’re all just waiting for him to leave and finally meet a much more competent replacement.

What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)? Angela has two dogs, Hailey and Kennedy. Andi had Apollo, who I wanted to meet so badly but sadly he passed away a week ago at 15.

Have you ever taken a picture while laying in the grass? There are photos of me sitting on grass, but not lying in it. I would imagine that would feel very prickly and uncomfortable.

Who’s your favorite Disney character? Baymax or Flynn Rider.

Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? I’ve made my friends chug drinks or down shots and it’s happened vice versa, but it was always in good fun and we never made each other harassed from it. It’s just your typical college rambunctiousness, and if anyone felt uncomfortable or iffy then we didn’t hesitate to move on.

When was the last time you used a pay phone and who were you calling? I’ve only ever seen those in my first school, when I was in kindergarten. I never got to use it and they also took them out not long after.

Do you like being kissed on the neck? Yessssssssss

Have you ever had sex with someone you weren’t dating (but had feelings for) in the hopes that they would ask you out later? Nope. I don’t think I would have sex with anyone I wasn’t dating.

What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a good bra? Probably a couple thousand bucks if I thought I looked good in it.

Do you have any of your teachers’ personal cell phone numbers saved in your contacts list? I don’t think so. I never tried getting close with any of them, and I always tried to stay hidden as much as possible. I was just in class to get good grades and pass.

Do you ever stalk peoples’ personal blogs, even if you don’t know them very well? I never really scroll through people’s Tumblrs anymore. That was more of a thing I did in like 2013, but these days going through my dashboard is enough.

What’s one thing about today’s generation that you just can’t stand? Some social media trends done for clout make me revolted, especially when it has anything to do with wasting food. I also hate when they do extreme pranks that I know I wouldn’t find funny if I were ever the victim, like tossing someone’s phone into the ocean.

Be honest: how do you feel about abortion? Pro-choice.

Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to? I would love to catch up with Katreen at some point, but I know we’re at different points in our lives now and it would probably never happen.

What is your favorite piece of art you own? I commissioned my sister to make an artwork of the 2D1N cast, and she did a great job making it! I haven’t gotten to use it or promote it yet, but I will soon. It’s really well-done.

What’s the one thing you apologized for this month? Replying late.

My favorite color is ______? Pastel pink.

I wish I had _____? Longer weekends.

What did you buy today? Nothing – I’d call that a success lmao, I’ve been spending money as if I had a million fucking bucks over the last week. I did have some packages arrive today though: my own copy of 2 Cool 4 Skool (my first physical BTS album!!!!!!); the official poster from their album BE; the Ivy Park sneakers I ordered earlier this month, and an Ivy Park bucket hat Bea had apparently gotten for me as a birthday present.

What has challenged your morals? Vices.

What made you pick up the last book you started reading? I had to read it in preparation for a one-on-one session with my employer’s CEO.

What about your life concerns you the most? Whether a stable future is in the cards for me.

What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend? Probably Filipino-American comedians or influencers who use stereotyping of Filipino accents and habits as a punchline; they do more harm to the culture than good. I can tell you not one Filipino who lives in the Philippines actually finds those funny, and Bretman Rock is probably the only personality who’s able to flaunt the culture in an entertaining and hilarious yet classy way.

When it comes to being offended, I guess it depends on the context. My humor can get pretty dark and low-blowy, but I would have a problem with someone who I know has genuinely problematic views.

What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? I think it may had still been Start-Up from last December. I’m not too big on Korean dramas since I find one episode waaaaaaayyyyyyy too long. I don’t think I’ll be starting on anything soon, Korean or otherwise.

What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same? I’m single now, for the first time in technically six years. I also think I’m doing better and happier, breakup notwithstanding. OH and I love wasabi now, hahah. As for what’s unchanged, I still like taking surveys and I’m still stuck at home, though the latter’s not really in my control anymore.

If you could learn about anything without the stress of grades or cost, what kind of classes would you take? I’d just go back to UP for the free tuition. We also have the widest range of programs out of any university in the country, so it’s a damn good deal.

Name a song you’ve listened to today? Fly To My Room - BTS

When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard? We didn’t; but one of our relatives that we’d regularly visit did have a playground that I’d use all the time. It’s still there, just very unmaintained since no one uses it anymore.

Is your mall nice? Which one? We have five different malls nearby lol. Mall culture here is on another level.

Do you have a Sonic near you? If so, what’s your favorite drink from there? No. I’m not so sure what they serve there, either. I’m guessing milkshakes?

Will you be voting in the presidential elections next time around? I’ll always exercise my right to vote.

How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries? I hate strawberries and I hate fruits, so even if you coat that shit in Nutella and cookie butter and chocolate syrup I still wouldn’t touch it.

Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? No.

Do you hate the last guy you had a thing with? I’ve never had a thing with guys.

To whom did you last give the finger? I haven’t had to do that in a while.

What was the last musical instrument played in your presence? My sister’s keyboard.

Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? Not particularly. They make things look cute, but they never taste like anything tbh so I never saw the point in paying extra just to have them on my desserts.

Honestly, have you ever crashed a party before? Nah. I cringe thinking about that.

Do you know how to do the moon walk? I don’t.

Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Never gotten that specific compliment before because I know I don’t have one.

Onion rings or french fries? Onion rings.

Has anybody ever described you as a heart breaker? No.

Has anybody ever told you that you talk too fast? I don’t think so, but I know I have the tendency to do so occasionally, especially while I’m presenting a deck. Once I notice it I make an effort to pace myself.

Who is the best cook that you know? My dad and both my grandmas all deserve that title.

Which meal throughout the day do you skip the most? I literally never have lunch ever.

What’s the largest amount that you can juggle at one time? I can’t juggle.

What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid? Sandboxes, since I liked the texture; the sandboxes in school were also often empty, which worked well for my introvert self. I find that it’s carried over to today, since I still enjoy touching things like slime and kinetic sand.

Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much? I think 5 or 6 lbs, I’m not exactly sure but it’s definitely somewhere in that small range.

Which aspect of your daily routine takes the most time? What do you do? Work, for sure. I work a normal 9–6 so that’s already 8 hours out of my day, but I also OT a lot after hours, and I work throughout my lunch break as well so that technically makes it 9 hours. I also like getting up earlier and starting some work before my shift so that I would have less tasks on my plate for the day.

Do you enjoy buying gifts for others, or could you do without this? I LOVE getting people gifts. Food is especially my love language, and I always get food delivery for my friends, family, and my team at work.

What is one thing you are expected to do, if anything? I mean, I have work deadlines tomorrow so there’s that.

How do you tend to view driving? Monotonous or entertaining? I love driving. I don’t think I ever complained about having to do it. It’s calming and relaxing when I’m doing it alone or with a partner; and it can be entertaining with the right set of people.

Do you enjoy talking about music with others? Not always. If I don’t listen to the artist then I can find the conversation quite boring, like if my friends would get into a full-blown discussion about Taylor Swift.

Is acting something you enjoy? No. It wouldn’t even be something I’d be interested in doing.

When do you feel most accomplished? Finishing a work day with no tasks left behind.

Do you think Manwich is amazing or completely gross? Idk what that is.

How many best friends do you have? Two.

Are you a smoker, drinker, pothead or none of the above? I drink sometimes. I also kinda smoke, I guess.

If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? My mom had them pierced when I was a month old.

Do you own any exercise machines? My mom has this rowing equipment thingy. I don’t have any of my own, though.

On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings? No.

Have you ever drawn or painted a self-portrait? I remember having to draw one as a school assignment, but I’m pretty sure I half-assed that because I couldn’t care less for art class back then.

Who was your last voicemail from? We don’t have voicemails.

Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious? I don’t think so. That’s the sort of situation that would stick out in my memory if ever.

Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? No, not a thing here.

When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language? Around an hour ago when I went downstairs and chatted with my sister briefly.

Have you ever received an anonymous gift? Nope.

Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? Nope but I definitely still wouldn’t be opposed to doing that haha.

When were you the saddest in your life? 2016 was fucking miserable. < I’d have to agree. 2017 was also awful.

Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? I used to know one but she got out of it. In a sense, I suppose I also was in one.

If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? Well they’re younger, so they definitely still live here, with our parents. I’m the first one expected to move out, but I’m taking my time.

Have you ever gotten searched by the cops? No.

Do you like fried rice? Of course. I like any kind of rice.

What was the last thing you drank? Water.

#survey #surveys

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anywhozits · 4 years

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All I Really Want Chapter 4

Rating: M

Pairing: Kristanna (at some point lol)

Verse: 90s High School AU / frozen retelling

Chapter Summary: Hans and Anna go on a their first date.

Notes: This chapter has some extra warnings—there are references to and conversations about underage sex. Nothing graphic, nothing explicit. None of that will be in any chapter of this fic. However, while reading this chapter specifically, it is important to note that this is a fictional account of one character’s experience. This is definitely not meant to be a universal depiction of how adolescence is “supposed to go” or anything to that effect. Everybody has their own timelines for things like this, which is perfectly valid, and in fact, exactly how it should be—individualized.

Read on Ao3

Anna took a deep breath, sighing contentedly while smoothing out her pink silk dress. She knew Hans didn’t mean to be late or keep her waiting or whatever, but she sat here, ready, for the last twenty minutes and he said he was going to arrive ten minutes ago. But Anna didn’t even know whether to trust his word at this point.

She didn’t even know him, really. She didn’t even know what he was like…

Yeah. True. Ugh—shit. Kristoff was right. She didn’t know that much about him.

Well. Okay—his last name was Westergaard. He had 13 brothers.

Um.

He had red hair and green eyes and this really pointy nose that looked really hot and cute at the same time. Like hotute or umm maybe hute. Nah. Hotute was much better.

So, yeah. He had red hair, green eyes, and a hotute nose.

What else…

He lived in Newport Beach.

And… she also knew that…

They had a lot of fun together! They had the most fun together she’d ever had with anybody in her whole life.

And this fun, well—she moved a little quickly with him. It was her decision to take things past kissing on their second night together. And duh—kissing him brought out some kind of really nice jolt of electricity, and it felt so absolutely amazing to actually share that electricity with someone else. So, she couldn’t help it. She was happy to move… quickly. She was more than happy to. They hadn’t done everything yet, but...

Well, it meant they didn’t do much… talking, exactly.

Of course, Anna still found the words somehow in between kisses and um—other things—to monologue about whatever consumed her mind.

But Hans didn’t say much at all. About himself, at least. He still asked a lot of personal questions about her life.

Maybe she should ask him some for a change. Besides, they couldn’t make out throughout the whole dinner, either. That felt like a big no-no in such a super ritzy establishment as Five Crowns anyway. So, they had to talk.

Her stomach suddenly sank.

It was like… she was nervous?

About spending the night with her… friend… with? benefits?

But that seemed so wrong? Why would she be nervous about spending a couple hours gnawing on steak and delicious soufflé and talking with the guy she loved most?

Why did the entire concept of conversation make her want to barf on the spot?

Her stomach fell to her knees.

Maybe Kristoff was right. Maybe love at first sight didn’t exist and she was just lying to herself because she wanted it so badly and…

No. No. Kristoff was getting in her head. It didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t mean anything.

She and Hans would make wonderful conversation at their friends-with-benefits-dinner-date and it would be all fine and dandy and wonderful.

She’d ask him some questions. She’d get to know him. And then she’d show Kristoff! She’d show the shit out of him and that grumpy BFF of hers would be totally wrong!

Except Hans still wasn’t here. So, Anna nervously fidgeted with her dress again. She tried to smooth it out. She clipped and unclipped the two hot pink sparkly snap clips that were on either side of her middle-parted red hair.

After her seventh time fiddling with the clips, she heard the intimidating chime of the doorbell.

Thank God.

She counted to twenty-five before she allowed herself to open the door, needing him to think she had better things to do than twiddle her thumbs and wait for him.

The second she saw his handsome face, her entire bundle of nerves completely disappeared. “Hans!” She ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck to give him a passionate kiss on the lips. He stumbled back a little bit, not quite ready for this show of affection, probably, but he caught himself easily, finally relaxing into the kiss and bringing his hands to the small of her back.

“You ready, babe?”

She kissed him again. “Mmhmm,” she mumbled into his mouth.

“Let’s do it.”

And all of a sudden, the nerves were back. Now that she had to contemplate how they would make it through dinner before getting back to this whole smooching business.

But she gave him no inkling of any of these likely-Kristoff-induced-second-thoughts and smiled brightly. She followed him to his black Mercedes and bit her lip for the entirety of the car ride. His hand rested on her thigh, squeezing it ever so slightly.

Only letting up when they pulled off Pacific Coast Highway and into the Five Crowns Parking lot and Anna caught herself shaking.

Nervous, still.

Thankfully Hans took her hand, guiding her into the restaurant in a way that felt more… relationship-y than she was expected. This wasn’t friends. It certainly didn’t seem like friends.

Oh, crap. Maybe she needed to have this conversation with Hans tonight, too. Crap. Crapity crap crap crap. That was not at all what she wanted.

But the fact that there were about five hundred million butterflies eating away at absolutely everything in her stomach right before she was about to chow down on some delicious and expensive food that she actually really wanted to enjoy…

She should do it. Yup. She should do it. All she had to do was wait for the perfect window of opportunity and then she’d just—bam get it all out there out in the open and then they’d say I love yous for days and then go back to his car for some making out and it would be glorious and perfect and probably the best date she’d ever been on.

Wait.

Date. This was a date.

She and Hans hadn’t really… been on a date since they met in February. Not a real date, at least. They went to the movie Vegas Vacation but classically sat in the back and made out the whole time, like, so much so that she didn’t even know exactly what the plot was besides the Griswolds going to Las Vegas and oh yeah—Wayne Newton was also there at some point?

She didn’t count that as a date, exactly. Because of the lack of… talking.

And all the other times they only hung out at each other’s houses.

Which meant… this was her first date. What better time to figure out if they were hopefully something more than just friends? Because friends with benefits wasn’t really what she wanted out of any of this. She knew she should be thankful that she had love. They loved each other. That was great. But… she wanted a relationship, too.

Okay. So that was the game plan. All systems very much go.

When she looked around at the restaurant, taking in the English Tudor / nautical hybrid décor, she began to feel a little out of her element. Her silk dress suddenly became itchy. Everybody else in the restaurant had to be at least 40 years old at a minimum and she thought she must seem like a child. Her pink dress and her pink glitter snap clips and her pink eyeshadow only further proved this point.

This made her even more nervous. Uncomfortable. It made her worry she’d never find the right opportunity to have this mature and important conversation when she felt like she was eight years old and at her father’s birthday dinner again.

But she’d try…

When they sat down next to each other at their corner booth, Anna’s stomach lurched. Still very worried. Still very young and out of place. Now was definitely not the right opportunity.

The right opportunity didn’t arise when they ordered their French Onion Soups and Filet Mignons.

The right opportunity didn’t arise when they received their French Onion Soups, when they slurped them up, when Anna realized her breath probably reeked more than she cared to admit.

But once the French Onion Soups were cleared, once Hans placed his right arm comfortably over Anna’s shoulders, so she could lean in close… she thought maybe now was the time.

But Hans wanted to talk, too.

“What classes are you in this year?”

This question jarred her. She hadn’t realized they somehow hadn’t covered any of this basic information in the last month. “Oh. Um. I’m taking Geometry Honors, Spanish II, World History, Conceptual Physics or whatever the freshman science is. Oh! And also, studio art because that sounded fun!” She had to take a break for a bit to catch her breath. “English I, too. But I’m not that happy about it because I really wanted Honors English but apparently that doesn’t exist for freshmen? Which seems really dumb because obviously there’s a lot of us who can handle it. I’ve already read like all of the books on our English I reading list. Like, Sense and Sensibility? Jane Eyre? Catcher in the Rye? Honestly? That feels like middle school to me but whatever.” Anna didn’t usually let that many people in on her secret middle school classic literature obsession, but once she got going she couldn’t stop herself. “Um. Sorry. I got all rambly again. I just really like English. It’s my favorite subject. If you couldn’t already tell…”

“Yeah. English is solid.”

“Mmhmm! And what are you taking?” Anna asked. “Let me guess. You look like an … AP US History guy. French III? Regular English. Ummm.. I don’t know what math. And probably um chemistry honors?”

“Close.”

“So, what is it?”

“I’m in Latin. And yep. APUSH, regular English, Chem Honors. I’m in AP Stats this year. I was so over calculus. Such a bullshit class. Tried it for a day but that bitch Ms. Maloney fucking hated me for no reason.”

“Oh. Okay.” Anna bit her lip. This was stagnating. And he was way too oddly aggressive about that calc class. Her stomach dropped again. She wanted to make sure they had the best conversation of their entire lives at Five Crowns on her first real date. “So, then what’s your favorite subject?”

“History.”

“What do you like about it?” Anna asked.

“Wars are hella dope. Cool to learn about.”

“Ah,” Anna said. “Any one in particular?” She tried her best.

“I dunno. I’ve always been into The Great War.”

“That’s World War I, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Sounds like that’d be a good one.” Anna cringed. Her whole body tensed. She hoped he didn’t notice. This conversation felt awkward. She needed to change the subject. “And you play baseball? Any other sports?”

“Nah,” he said as he squeezed her shoulder. “You had that track meet last weekend, right?”

“Yeah. I did. All day Saturday,” she explained, leaning in closer to him. “I did the pole vault, triple jump, and a relay.”

“That sounds pretty fly.”

“Mmhmm. I guess. But…” Anna sighed. “I kinda wish I hadn’t gone. It was, like, the whole day and I came home to a message from Elsa, so. I don’t know. Maybe I’m not meant for track.”

“What’d Elsa have to say?”

“Not too much, really. It was a short message…” Anna’s voice got a little lower. “But she said she’s pretty nervous because she’s meant to hear from colleges soon.”

“Ah,” Hans said. “Well, I wish her luck.”

“Me, too.”

Anna sighed. Sustained silence fell between them for a short while. And Anna couldn’t help but realize… maybe this was her window of opportunity.

“Um… Hans?

“Wazup?”

“What… are we?”

“What do you mean what are we?”

“Oh, duh. Yeah. Well, it’s not—I don’t mean like—what are we—like humans or whatever. It’s not… deep like that,” Anna winced at her futile attempts to explain her nervous thoughts. “I just mean… what are we? You know—in our… relationship or friendship or whatever it is.”

“Oh.”

“You get it? Does that make sense? I can try explaining it again if it doesn’t…”

“I get it.”

“Okay,” she exhaled. Then inhaled. She bit her lip again. For probably the 50th time that night. “So then… what are we?”

“We’re us.”

“Right. And what is us?”

“We’re having fun. Aren’t we? Didn’t you have hella fun watching Vegas Vacation?

Anna’s cheeks flushed red. “We didn’t watch—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. But didn’t you have a blast, anyway? Aren’t you having fun right now?”

“Of course I am, I just meant—”

“That’s all we’re doing, babe. We’re having fun.”

“So we’re… so you’re not my—we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend is what you’re saying?”

“We’re having fun.”

Anna could feel her heartbeat quickening. Her stomach couldn’t drop any lower than it already had.

Now they were confirmed just friends. Even though she wanted this date at Five Crowns to mark the start of something a bit more serious…

But maybe…

Maybe they didn’t need labels to be serious. Maybe they were already serious.

Thinking of this, Anna stared into his green eyes, catching some swirls of what she hoped was sincerity hidden within. “You love me though, don’t you?”

“Of course I love you, babe. I’ve loved you since the day I met you.”

She smiled now, snuggling into him further, content. It didn’t matter what they were, it didn’t matter what they called themselves. They had each other. They had snuggles and smooches and smiles and now a real, legit, super-fun date and they loved each other since the very second they laid eyes on each other.

Take that, Kristoff. Mr. Grumpy-Doesn’t-Believe-in-Love-At-First-Sight man. You lost today, sucker.

She planted a gentle kiss on his lips, a kiss that deepened, continuing until their orders of Filet Mignon were placed gingerly in front of them.

Without the constant pressure of the impending scary and mature conversation, Anna gobbled up her food with ease, quickly, in fact—because she was starting to look more and more forward to the after-date than the date itself.

So much so that she considered skipping out on the chocolate soufflé entirely. And chocolate was her favorite thing in the world. Period.

Once the chocolate soufflés arrived, though, she realized that would’ve been a grave error. No way no how.

Naturally she inhaled the chocolate soufflé. In a way that left Hans laughing and laughing, trying as hard as he could to wipe the chocolate off of her mouth and her shoulders and her dress… and also the walls and some areas of the booth… safe to say, Anna had made quite the mess.

And with him touching her and laughing with her, Anna became giddy. When Hans paid with his Visa platinum and signed the check, taking Anna’s hand again and helping her out of the booth, Anna’s giddiness turned ecstatic.

He thought she was funny. He laughed at her jokes. He laughed at her antics. He helped clean up her mess.

And they had a good conversation about school and a really informative conversation about their relationship. And they loved each other, of course. That was important, too.

Still overjoyed, Anna sat again in Hans’s black Mercedes. Hans drove to one of the Crystal Cove beach parking lots. They parked the car.

The entire area was dark. Nobody was there. Not a car. Not a soul. Not even a seagull.

Anna knew where this was going.

Her heart beat quickly for a new and exciting reason.

Their lips touched with sparks of electricity; a fervent move that sent them shimmying into the backseat of the car.

Anna was no stranger to the black leather seats. She was no stranger to this position.

She’d moved quickly with him. She recognized that. But hearing a chorus of Hans’s delectable I love yous made fireworks ignite within her soul. And so, it didn’t seem quick at all. It seemed just about right. Perfect. If they loved each other on the first night, then everything naturally had to follow at lightning speed to match.

Right?

“Hey, babe?” Hans whispered in her ear, so close that it tickled her a bit and she giggled.

“Yeah?”

“Can we do it?”

She giggled again. “I mean—sure. Yeah. When were you—”

“Tonight,” he said. “Now.”

“Oh.” Anna was out of her element again. Yes, she liked moving quickly. Yes, she liked everything else they’d done, but… this? Tonight?

She didn’t think she was ready. She didn’t feel ready. Did anybody ever feel ready? Did it matter?

It was then that she realized Arendelle Academy had failed her. The school had failed them, more like. She had the period talk in the fifth grade. But since then… all she had to do was some dumb assignment about chlamydia in the Human Development class she took last semester.

That wasn’t enough. Clearly.

And here she was—terrified.

Because, sure, she knew what it meant to do it. But only because of a healthy mix of Sex and the City (Anna knew she was a Carrie), Friends, and Anna Karenina. As a curious middle schooler, Anna learned more than she’d like to admit from Anna Karenina’s spicy affair with Vronksy.

But that suddenly felt all… abstract.

It was like she knew nothing. Nothing at all. In the backseat of Hans’s car, she was about to flunk out of doing it class.

The only shred of information that remained in her brain was her vision. Her perfect, wonderful vision of how she both imagined and desired it to happen.

She pictured herself sixteen or seventeen… on her birthday. One of her favorite days of the year. After some kind of wonderful birthday surprise party all planned perfectly by her boyfriend, the two of them would dash off to a swanky hotel, and when they would get to their wonderful suite, there would be rose petals scattered around the bed. They’d have bottles of some fancy champagne… oh—and some chocolate covered strawberries, of course.

But most importantly—boyfriend. She’d said boyfriend. Obviously. Because she imagined it happening with the boyfriend she loved with all of her heart.

That was just for it, though. The Big It.

For any of the other stuff—stuff they’d already done—she never had the same kind of perfect vision. So, it was easy enough to just… full steam ahead do all of it.

But not this it. Not the Big It.

So many parts of her vision were missing. She needed it to be special. She needed it to feel like the most intimate expression of love for another person possible.

Because…well—that’s exactly what it was to her.

So she couldn’t do it tonight. Not like this. But at the same time, she didn’t want to let him down.

She didn’t want to lose him…

“I don’t know,” was all she said.

“Well, why not? We’ve done everything else. What’s the difference?”

“I want it… to be special. And I’m only—I’m, like, young. Isn’t that bad?”

“No.”

But this didn’t comfort her very much. Because she was young.

Elsa would say that she was too young.

“You don’t think it’s bad? That I’m…” Anna gulped. She worried saying the word fourteen out loud would make him see her as immature and naïve. “You don’t think I’m gonna be bad?”

“No.” He kissed her, then, romantically. Anna relaxed a bit into the kiss. “You’re gonna be great.”

“Have you ever… um—have you done it before?”

“A couple times.”

She’d figured as much, and it made her nervous. Really, really nervous. In her vision of how this should play out, it was her first time and it was her loving, doting, wonderful boyfriend’s first time, too. There were no expectations. There were no comparisons.

Her mind flashed to Kristoff, eyes crinkled and mouth wide in that wonderful smile of his.

No. Don’t do that. Don’t do that, Anna.

She needed to shake herself clear of those thoughts. Of that visual…of that desire, maybe. If that’s what it was.

No. No. It was about Hans tonight. HansHansHans. His hotute nose and his beautiful green eyes.

She loved Hans. She wanted Hans in this way, yes. She did.

It was just…

“I think I want it to be special,” Anna said, her voice small.

“This is special, babe. Just you and me here in my car… loving each other.”

“No, no, no. I mean special special. Like… really romantic special. On a really big event or a really big milestone or something. I want it to mean a lot. And I’m not saying that I don’t want to do it with you because I really, really do want to—like…I want to, and my body wants to and… I just think I need to wait um… a little bit.”

“Okay,” Hans said, sighing. “We can wait.”

Anna’s heart soared. Now she just needed a new vision of how she wanted it to go down. She figured he wouldn’t want to wait that long and really neither did she. If she really wanted him to be her boyfriend and not her friend-with-benefits then she needed to double down. She couldn’t keep him waiting for too long.

But if she were worried about being too young… and if she were worried about what Elsa would say, and she wanted it to happen on her birthday, ideally. Then… she should just say it.

“My birthday.”

“What about it?”

“My birthday. We can do it on my birthday, okay? That’s… three months away,” Anna explained. In three months, she’d be fifteen. And fifteen seemed old enough.

Right?

Right. Fifteen felt right. Her birthday felt right. Elsa had to understand. And maybe Elsa would even be proud that she waited those three months instead of diving right in.

Shit did Anna want her sister to be proud of her.

She continued, “I know it’s awhile, but. It’s an important day and we can be together, and I think… I think that’s perfect. I think then it’ll be really special.”

And then… when it happened, she just knew he’d decide he wanted to be her boyfriend for real.

Hans nodded. “Okay. Deal. June 21st, right?”

And her heart leapt at the sheer fact that he remembered.

They made out some more. They got close, really close, to doing what he wanted, but they didn’t. He respected her wishes.

He respected her.

And when Hans dropped her off at home that night, Anna knew what she needed to do. It was late. Again. She always called Elsa so late. It was self-sabotage, really. Elsa’s world operated three hours later than Anna’s…

But she picked up the phone and dialed her sister’s number anyway.

Nothing but ring ring ring ring times infinity and then that condescending beep. Another beep… another message destined to be unanswered but not unheard.

Anna still couldn’t believe that stupid track meet had kept her away from Elsa’s once-in-a-blue-moon phone call.

“Um—Els. Hey. It’s me again. Your sister. Anna…” Anna shook her head. Elsa would recognize her voice. Duh. Anna always had to make everything so awkward. No wonder Elsa hardly ever called her back. “Um, anyway. I, uh—I’m so sorry I keep calling and I’m so sorry I keep leaving all these messages and I’m, like, the most sorry I missed your call Saturday—I wish I’d been home. I…I can’t even tell you how much I wish I’d been home…” She balled up her hands into tight fists and squeezed, hard, trying to keep a lid on all of her emotions. “It’s just—I really, really miss you and I have…” Anna knew what she wanted to tell Elsa, but she didn’t know quite how to frame it. She tried to squeeze her fists harder. “I, um—I did something. And I think…” But she couldn’t help it—her emotions had no lid. Tears spilled down her cheeks and she took a deep breath in a futile attempt to hide the trembling within her voice. “I think you’ll be really proud of me.”

#kristanna #fanfic #frozen

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sunnysideofsaturn · 5 years

Text

2019, oh how you’ve destroyed me.

basically i’ve seen a ton of posts like this, especially by one of my best interweb pals (lookin at you, C @hey-im-pan ) and it’s inspired me to make one of my own! i journal a LOT but it’ll be interesting to try and sum everything up in little synopsis.

*side note: i struggle with anxiety, depression, insomnia, and ocd, so those and their effects may be mentioned. be cautious. This also doesn’t include a lot of the more personal instances, so don’t take it as an accurate representation of what it is like living with these issues*

January:

Honestly, not much happened. I went on a college visit trip with a few of my friends to my dream school, which was stressful but informative, and my anxiety attacks were far and in-between. Sleep schedule was wack (has been since 7th grade), but i was functioning. Dysphoria (i’m nonbinary, but hadn’t really even come out to myself then) was pretty high this month in particular for some reason, so i finally started trying to convince my mom to let me cut my hair off. (I had like 2.5 feet it was a mess)

February:

Finally came out to one of my close friends as pan, kinda accidentally but she was chill with it :) My grandma had a weeklong sickness that scared the shit out of me, but she got better for the time being. I was constantly pushing myself academically and physically at practice, but my grades were taking a bit of a nosedive because i didn’t have the capacity to deal with everything, but i bottled it up because i hate feeling weak. I continued to explore my sexuality, and started to research the gender spectrum.

March:

School and Crew (rowing sport) were the only things on my mind at all times. I started having more anxiety attacks again, and decided it was time to talk to my doctor about going back on meds after 3 years off them. IB was kicking my ass, but i’m so grateful for all of my teammates for giving me an escape on the water. Started to accept I was non-binary.

April:

A month full of good vibes i really needed. Got my drivers license on 4/20. I hiked my grades up with the help of extra credit, held a “wedding” in a Dillard’s try-on section, and spent a few days of spring break at the beach with two friends. I finally cut my hair off!! That feeling was literally incredible and i try to get a haircut every other month to actually keep up with it now. Saw endgame, died inside, and competed in an art show! I was doing really well, so I went off my meds again (don’t do that without a doctors permission like me).

May:

BAdddd time to be off meds, anxiety and depression were dropping my health and IB finals kicked my ass and the class i had been most excited about taking had become my worst at this point, but I got through the exams without missing any. Went to Jr. Prom though! We actually used going to Jr. Prom as a coverup to throw a surprise birthday party for my best friend. I still have no idea how she didn’t figure it out. I also started talking to one of my internet buds, Rosie. She’s helped me through so much she doesn’t even know about, and it such a beaut inside and out <3

June:

MADE IT TO PRIDE MONTH!! I finished my actual finals with minimal panic attacks, and join a Parkner discord! That was short lived, but from it was born… The What the Actual Fuck Fam, whom i love dearly. You guys still crack me up, and i know i’ll always have people to fall back on ( or help me commit murder.) Turned 17 and watched Monty Python (again.) Was forced into not one, but tWo bible camps, but also went to my first pride in my city! I have never felt so loved by so many people i don’t know :)

July:

Depression hit me HarD. I was constantly in a bad mood and taking it out on other people and myself, and I was losing even more sleep. Went back on meds for a bit. I got to see Far From Home, but pretty much isolated myself from anyone in my real life. July is always hard for me to get though for some reason. On a happier note, I started talking to @winterrs-child , who I now love dearly and @exbrodokills , which started out by exchanging memes but i think we can now call a friendship :D

August:

More depression, yayyyy, but Rosie and my irl friends helped me through it so much, even if they didn’t know it was happening. I finally came out to my parents and grandma as pan. They honestly took it pretty well, even if my grandma thinks it’s a ‘phase’. Also came out to C, B, and T as non-binary. Ya’ll were the first people I told after a YEAR omg <3 developed a huge celebrity crush on a cosplayer i won’t name even though they’ll never see this :’) Also fell back into the kiribaku pit after finally stabilizing my Parkner obsession. Also, joined a sapphic server which is basically a big gay support group :) (thanks to Rosie)

September:

Started my senior year of high school. So far, it’s pretty much been one big panic attack but i’m managing. I’m a mentor on the crew team this year and have adopted pretty much every underclassmen on the team. I love them all equally (except for my favorites) Cut my hair even shorter! I love it! Got back into writing poetry and short stories after an intense writer’s and reader’s block that lasted for almost a year. Went off my meds again (I should stop doing that, ik) Went to a Harry Potter fest, which was great, but started building up major anxiety for planning the rest of my life.

October:

SPOOP MONTH. October is my favorite month, so I was determined to make it good. Went on a couple more college tours, but also celebrated fall and halloween with my favorite people. Came reallllly close to stabbing my IB Bio teacher, but he’s survived, so far. Cosplayer mentioned earlier followed me on insta, cue gay panic. i also accidentally created a huge cuddle pile of 30 girls on my team in the captain’s backyard. It was as amazing as it sounds :0 Applied for 6 colleges

November:

CAVETOWN omg. I was also murdered with a bent hammer (don’t ask) and my mental health was pretty stable. I joined yet another server created by the cosplayer, and have made so many friends through it, plus gained a new dad figure :). Contemplated buying a binder on black friday, didn’t and deeply regret it (planing on getting one with the christmas money i get from my homophobic grandfather we pretend doesn’t exist) Discovered the goodness of Baby Yoda. Did pretty much no spanish homework. Solid 7/10

December:

Honestly, school wise december has been the most stressful month of this year so far, and the 2nd worst depressive episode. I’ve written 6 essays and done 5 projects this month and that was not a good time for the already low seratonin levels. i got waitlisted for the school i mentioned earlier, but was accepted into the other 5 :) I got to see an Of Monsters and Men concert, and I’m trying to push thorough til break, but my grandma has been getting sick more and more frequently over this year and now she’s been in a lot of pain for over two weeks and in and out of emergency care 6 times. Just hoping to make it to 2020 with everyone in tact and healthy :) I’m doing a secret santa with my friends im looking forward to. My friends have been amazing support through all of this mess, even if ii didn’t tell you about it, and i love you all!!

special mentions:

@donnaschaunamanon

@dawdlzdoodles

@harleykeenerprotectionsquad

@bumbblebeeeeee

@lykkesw

@chai-studying

@hey-im-pan

@pumpkinparkner

@everyone’s users i don’t know/remember

#2019 #get to know me #recap #2029 is not a real year #i don't have 2020 vision

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notquitedailyamy · 5 years

Text

Three Weeks LA-ter

It’s now three weeks since I was plunged back into the ice bath of the UK. I’m sure those ’cubes ought to have melted by now, and that bathwater warmed enough to meet my shellshocked thermo-receptors in the middle.... But, alas, I still find myself favouring those extra two layers of clothing over flexibility.

I love winter. At heart, I’m a sworn pluviophile. Sucker for hygge. Quite happy to trade in the tan for a crunch of frost underfoot, swap the extra hours of daylight for the crackle of a fire and a blanket. I start getting excited about the dumplings on my Mum’s beef stew before August is out.

However, in the process of jetting off to land in 30 degrees for a good 23 days, before being plopped back here into mid-Feb British weather, my usual hardiness has been compromised. My four seasons have been interrupted, hijacking my enthusiasm for the darker months.

I’ve already transitioned from that annual spell of bothering to remember hat, coat and umbrella, coordinating layer upon layer of clothing, heaving on clunky walking boots, and moisturising dry hands three thousand times a day for fear of falling to pieces. My brain is tuned to remember sunglasses. I have once again tasted the ease of merely having to consider a top and bottoms, the luxury of sticking to one pair of shoes with no fear of trampling mud or puddle. My pasty limbs have surfaced and been greeted once more by the sun’s bronzing kiss...

Oh well. I’m working on getting back into the rhythm, and I trust it will happen. In the meantime: HAS SOMEONE TURNED THE HEATING ON PLEASE??!

Anyway, I was very lucky to get my early dose of sun-dowsed fun, and here are a few highlights of the trip:

1. SISTER

Highlight No.1 stands head and shoulders above the rest, and that was being reunited with my sister who lives out in Los Angeles. Visa issues + my own poverty had equated to the sum of over two years apart - weep, weep, weep.

2. FLORA & FAUNA

One of the things I love most about touching down in new places is being surrounded by a different spectrum of plants & wildlife. Even within the UK, a hop across to the Cornish coast will offer a whole new palette from that to which I am familiar here in Suffolk; in the wild flowers spattering the hedgerows, and the bright purples of heather and yellows of gorse and lichen that adorn the slate-grey rocks.

California certainly doesn’t disappoint on this front. Supersize is not only on the food menus... From the distinctive gravity-defying palms lining the streets, to the elaborate yet prolific birds of paradise, statuesque cacti and citrus trees lolloping over the walls of back gardens, branches laden with fruits so big one might question their genuity, it is quite clear this isn’t Suffolk, Cornwall, or indeed anywhere close to home.

Yet if the LA landscape alone is not feast enough for the senses - I have an idea for you: why not blitz them COMPLETELY at the Huntingdon Botanical Gardens in Pasadena...

The Huntingdon pretty much offers visitors a tour around The World, by means of a peruse through sixteen sizeable themed gardens. You begin in the Californian Garden, and weave your way, jaws on the floor, through an Australian Garden, Chinese Garden, Japanese Garden, Subtropical Garden, Desert Garden, Jungle Garden........ There are so many serene spots waiting to be sought out for lunching, coffee or a ponder. Save at least a whole day for this remarkable place, and don’t miss the turtles at the Lily Ponds.

One for the living room

Heading down the Pacific Coast Highway from LA to San Diego, and a small detour takes you to La Jolla Cove for some incredible sea life spotting. Just how up close and personal you want to get with the seals and sea lions depends on how prepared you are to put up with the horrendous smell.

For us, the cute vibes were worth the stench at first... Until we still couldn’t get rid of it from the car days later.

Um, not today mate, thanks.

Pelican!

By and large, it was a thrill spotting species I’m so little used to seeing, let alone in their natural habitat. There were, however, one or two fellows supposedly rolling around for which I’m grateful I did not get acquainted...

3. ART, ARCHITECTURE & DESIGN

I mentioned in a previous post about my enthusiasm for the the extreme mishmash of architecture in LA. Two years later, and it’s still a novelty for me how you can walk the lengths of residential streets and never pass the same build twice. One moment you’re outside something resembling a Spanish villa, and the next, something reminiscent of a small chateau. It’s all so interesting - I find myself transformed into a helpless busybody passing through.

The sprawling city is a bit of a swarm; so intense in parts, that it’s a relief when you happen upon a sanctuary, in whatever shape or form, to escape to. One of these for me is The Getty Center, and it was a delight to be able to return there.

Perched high up on its hill looking out over the metropolis below, The Getty was designed by Richard Meier, and is home to magnificent gardens, art collections and ever-changing exhibitions.

There’s architecture, and then there’s architecture...

4. SAN DIEGO

Downtown to Old Town, the Spanish Village to the Star of India, San Diego boasts a vast range of things to see and do, all in close proximity, and only a few hours’ drive south from LA.

The harbour is home to the USS Midway, the United States' longest serving naval aircraft carrier of the 20th century - it is overwhelmingly huge and impressive, and is now also the site of a museum. Also docked is the HMS Surprise, which was used in the filming of Master and Commander and Pirates of the Caribbean.

The Spanish Village Arts Center in Balboa Park is a hub for local artisans, housing the studios and shops of an eclectic mix of artists, sculptors, potters, silversmiths and many more of the like. Colourful and quaint, visitors are warmly welcomed.

Old Town - explore the Birthplace of California, get scared for $5 in haunted Whaley House, eat tacos & hand-dry with Haring:

7. SUNSETS

Our best experiences of the setting soleil were from the expanses of Coronado Beach and the San Diego harbour.

Blankets required for rapid drop in temp, tortoise imitation not mandatory.

8. DELECTABLES

Oh it’s ALWAYS a joy. From Mexican to Korean to Japanese to Vietnamese, you can get all the good stuff. And...

Naturally

...what’s that, my suitcase is how big now?

Am I transmitting enough cosy to you with this Mexican mocha?

9. HIKES

We loved the Wisdom Tree hike, Runyon Canyon & Echo Mountain (the biggest one!). We thanked our gods for not having crossed paths with rattle snake, bear, coyote or mountain lion.

One of my favourite things about LA is that, even when you’re in the depths of urbanicity, you can nearly always spot a mountain, and know that there’s a view like this waiting for you.

10. FURNITURE ASSEMBLY

I jest. This was no highlight, but an integral part of the trip, so seems necessary to include. My sister had just moved into her apartment when we arrived, and we assembled IKEA flat packs till our hands blistered and our vision blurred. Even wore out a screwdriver. Standing back to inspect the results can act as silver lining here.

Suitable Song - L.A. by Elliott Smith // Listen on Spotify

#warmer weather #los angeles #british weather #all seasons #acclimatise #hike #san diego #flora and fauna #getty center #spanish art village #la jolla #seals #old town #huntingdon botanical gardens #california #LA

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generalkenobi22 · 5 years

Text

Fic: as iron sharpens iron (Burn Notice) - 4K words & counting

SUMMARY: Somewhere along the way, at one point or another, Madeline tells them, “The three of you need to stick together.”

And that, more or less, is what they do.

So I know Burn Notice Week isn’t for a few weeks, but my work schedule is insane, and while I had a rare day off and moment to post, I seized it. More chapters will follow (one for each season) eventually. But for now, please enjoy the first part of as iron sharpens iron.

Can also be found on AO3.

————————————

Though one may be overpowered, Two can easily defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

—Ecclesiastes 4:12, NIV

—————————————

Somewhere along the way, at one point or another, Madeline tells them, "The three of you need to stick together."

And that, more or less, is what they do.

—

Even before he opens his eyes, Michael just...knows he's in Miami. Besides the humidity (he can feel the sweat pooling at his lower back) and the brilliant sunlight pouring through...wherever it's pouring in from (caves set high in the mountains of Afghanistan don't usually get a lot of natural light), he can hear the faint trace of calypso music coming in from outside.

So he doesn't actually need Fi to kick him with what feels like an especially sharp boot, but she takes it upon herself to do so anyway. Not that he knows it's her immediately. No, that little realization doesn't occur until after he momentarily blacks out from the pain (she was always a great markswoman, so it only makes sense that her foot connects directly to every single one of his cracked ribs) and before his head promptly begins pounding.

When he does finally see her (and hear her—he'd recognize that Irish brogue anywhere), it's...a lot. Especially since he halfway thought he would never see her again. Besides cosmetics (her hair's lighter, no bangs—she's tanner, too), she looks the same as she did the last time they were...together. And now she's here, in the flesh, complaining that he still has her listed as his emergency contact (he knew there was something else he needed to submit to H.R. when he last updated his W-4). It's equal parts comforting and completely unnerving.

There are countless questions running through his mind as he struggles to sit upright (who burned him, how can he contact his handler, is Fi still mad that he left, etc.?), but at least one of them is answered when Fi cheerfully admits that she contacted his mother.

Welcome to Miami.

—

Soon after, she ditches the accent. Buys a whole new wardrobe.

From a tactical standpoint, it makes sense—using camouflage to blend into your surroundings makes you a harder target to spot.

From a personal standpoint, it's still—well, she's—the whole thing is...it's a lot.

—

Sam Axe is what would happen if Magnum, P.I. ever did a reunion special where Magnum—a few decades older and well into retirement—started mooching off every widow and bored housewife in Oahu. And yet, unlike Magnum, with Sam it's a whole lot less grating and more...well, endearing.

With the exception of Fi (though even that might be stretching it at this point), he no longer has a secure network of people he trusts. Most of them, he assumes, went up in smoke alongside his job and identity the moment his burn notice was issued. That said, it's nice to see the familiar face of an old friend in the midst of it all.

Even if that friend sticks him with the bar tab when all he ordered was water.

—

It's practically an ambush, all things considered.

When Sam mentions his money laundering contact, Barry, and follows it up with, "We have to bring you up to speed, brother," Michael assumes he means an in-person introduction.

And it is, for all intents and purposes, an in-person introduction when Michael meets up with the two at Carlito's the next day...

But mostly, it's an ambush.

"So you're tellin' me Mike was absent for the whole dot-com boom?" Barry asks, as if Michael isn't sitting right there next to him. He's staring at Michael like he's the most fascinating installation at the Peréz Art Museum.

Sam, on the other hand, keeps looking at him with an almost insulting amount of pity. "'fraid so," he admits miserably, draining the last of his mojito. "Although he wasn't really absent, per se, just swamped with the whole covert black ops—"

"Sam," Michael cuts in, smile strained. "How about we avoid divulging classified intel to the stranger with the movie villain goatee I just met?" He looks Barry over once and holds up his hands placatingly. "No—well, some offense."

Barry frowns. "Some taken."

"Listen, Mikey, Barry's practically family," Sam says as he signals for the waitress to bring him a refill.

"Well," Barry clarifies, "estranged at best."

"Sure, fine." Sam redirects his attention back to Michael. "The point is: now that you're back in Miami, you have to be able to talk about non-job related topics. And that's pretty tough when you're not up to date on the last decade of popular culture."

Michael shifts uncomfortably. "I'm cultured," he insists, looking between both Sam and Barry. "For instance, the 2000 election? Here in Florida, there were hanging chads and—" Off their pained expressions, he switches tactics, having to dig deeper. "What about...?" He brightens. "J-Lo! She's still considered popular, right?"

Sam chuckles. "Not for the same reason you're thinking, Mike."

The waitress comes by with their drinks. Sam thanks her—his concluding wink almost subtle—but Barry looks like he might be sick.

"So, like...no American Idol?" he wants to know, his tone taking on an edge of urgency. "No Brangelina?" Michael shakes his head, wondering idly if Barry has started speaking Spanish somehow. "What about the Hilton twins? Or, even, Tom Cruise?"

"Wait, yes! He's the, uh, Top Gun guy."

"He was the Top Gun guy," Sam corrects. "Now he's just crazy."

Barry scrubs a hand over his face before downing his cocktail in one go. "I don't know, Sam. This is a much bigger job than you let on. I mean, I'm gonna have to clear my appointments for the day," he points out wearily, "and then I'm gonna have to deal with pissed off clients—wealthy and powerful pissed off clients."

Sam brushes him off. "Barry, this is for a worthy cause." He gestures over to Michael. "I mean, look at him!"

"I'm sitting right here," Michael reminds them through gritted teeth.

Ignoring him, Barry sighs and pulls his Blackberry out. Within seconds, he's shot out a half dozen texts containing haphazard apologies for the cancellations. "Fine," he relents. "Let's start with the basics."

"And make sure we touch on the 'Phins," Sam insists. "The last player Mike could name was Marino, and he hasn't been with the team since he retired in '99. It's embarrassing."

Michael emits a strangled sound of protest before he lets his head drop to the table with a soft, defeated thud.

—

No one is more surprised than Fi when Madeline, of all people, calls to invite her to play poker with her and some of the ladies from the neighborhood only a few short weeks after she makes the move to Miami permanent. With the exception of her sister, Claire, Fi has never really had many female friends. Not for lack of interest or trying, certainly, but the job does tend to have a frustratingly imbalanced male-to-female ratio.

So, obviously, she says yes. After all, it's not as though she could possibly decline. Not when Madeline had ended their phone call with an incredibly touching: "Fiona, honey, you're welcome over any time." And especially not when she can provide such crucial insight into Michael's early years.

In preparation, she finds the least threatening sundress she owns (A-line skirt, a floral pattern of goldenrods and peonies), and brings along a variety of snacks (surely these types of get-togethers operate like more civilized, less mind-numbingly boring stakeouts?).

When she arrives, Madeline greets her warmly with a hug (a bit of a surprise considering they've only ever spoken on the phone and haven't actually met in person before), places her snacks on the counter, and introduces her to the rest of the group. It's...nice. They're a friendly bunch: adorable retirees with a penchant for gossip and neighborhood intel that would put any spy to shame. A couple hours later, though, when she's down by nearly two hundred dollars, she has the sneaking suspicion it all may be a ruse designed to lull her into a false sense of security.

Oh, they are very good.

"So, Fiona," Evelyn asks her. She raises and throws a couple chips onto the growing pile at the center of the table. "How do you know Madeline's son?"

Fi takes in Evelyn's shockingly bright orange dye job as she thinks about how best to answer that question. Ex-girlfriend? Colleagues? Both invite their own share of difficult and obtrusive questions. She could go with "wife" (Michael would positively burst, she's sure of it), but Madeline would see right through that.

"He's my boyfriend." It's not...not true.

"How wonderful!" Madeline's other friend, Phyllis, exclaims. She has been knocking back Corona Extras like she hasn't had a spot to drink in months. "How long have the two of you been together?"

In addition to Madeline's affinity for nicotine, Evelyn seems to share her love of taking all of Fi's money. Fi folds and tosses her cards on the table.

"Oh!" she says suddenly playing at bashful and giggling. "It's—well, it's still kind of new—" Again, not...not true. "—but it feels like we've known each other forever."

She almost feels guilty at the way Madeline's face lights up, how her smile warms at her little fib. But she barely has time to dwell on it before the front door opens. When she turns around, she's met with the sight of Michael—in tan chinos and a light blue oxford—slack-jawed and cradling a casserole dish. She playfully waggles her fingers at him.

"Ma," he says carefully, only glancing at her briefly, his smile too forced to be genuine. "I thought you, me, and Fi were having dinner tonight. You said seven, right?"

Madeline brightens as she directs him and the casserole to the kitchen. "We are. Me and the girls are just finishing up." To the rest of the group, she says, "Ladies, this is my son, Michael!"

"Hey...Hi." He waves at them all awkwardly before taking the empty seat across from Fi, next to Evelyn. She shouldn't laugh, truly, but his discomfort in the face of the group's sudden enthusiasm over his distinctly male presence is palpable. She tries to hide her amusement by draining the contents of her beer bottle, but judging by the way Michael's brow darkens and his mouth practically thins into nonexistence, she is nowhere near successful.

Madeline is the last one to fold before Evelyn takes the pot. As she rakes in her winnings, Phyllis leans over toward Fi and makes it a point to say not at all quietly, "He's very handsome."

This time when she looks at Michael, unable to hide her amused grin, he smiles at Phyllis appreciatively before fixing Fi with a look of quiet desperation.

"Oh, he is!" She sighs dreamily and winks at him, relishing his discomfort only a little. He frowns back. "I'm the luckiest girl in all Miami."

—

It starts out innocently enough. Fi merely offers Sam a simple suggestion for how to properly apologize to Veronica—that unfortunate woman—yet somehow that evolves into him wanting to talk about all his "lady problems" with her.

(Seriously, that poor woman! She must be positively unwell. Perhaps she's deaf or blind? Best case scenario: she's deaf and blind, and this relationship is simply court-ordered community service outreach to the elderly.)

At first, Fi relished the thought that he picked her over Michael (who has all the emotional sensitivity of an unstable IED) to confide his most vulnerable secrets to, but it soon becomes too much. Phone calls, text messages, then phone calls and text messages. Eventually, she has to draw a line, demonstrate at least a little pride.

Plus, she's still pissed about the whole "him-costing-her-a-lot-of-money-because-he-interfered-with-her-legitimate-business-deal-with-the-Libyan-arms-dealer" thing, y'know? No one has ever accused her of letting go of a grudge too soon.

"I don't know what to tell you, Sam." She sighs dramatically as if talking to him is positively exhausting (which, it is) before she slams the trunk of her car closed, yoga mat in hand.

He blocks her path forward before she even has a chance to turn around. "Fi, you don't understand," he says desperately, and a small (fine, large) part of her finds a simple delight in his suffering. "This could be it for Veronica and me. She still hasn't forgiven me for the last job we pulled, and I—"

"Sam." Even saying his name is taking a lot of self-control at the moment. She manages to slip past him and dart across the street. To his credit, he keeps up and corners her in front of the studio. "I'm just too busy right now, and I'm going to be late." She holds up her mat pointedly and pushes past him to the front door. "So unless you want to join my Bikram yoga class, I—"

"Fine."

The little bell at the top of the door rings a second time as he follows her inside. As he not-at-all-subtly rakes his gaze over a couple of women in yoga pants on their way out, she gapes at him.

"What?" He shrugs when he catches her staring. "I told you: this is serious."

So that's how she finds herself some fifteen minutes later watching Sam—drenched through his linen slacks and hideous Hawaiian print shirt—struggling with downward facing dog on the mat right next to hers.

"Geez, Fi," he huffs, his gold chain now dangling over his chin, "you do this for fun?"

She watches as beads of sweat roll down his bright red face in rapid succession. It takes everything in her to keep a straight face.

"Why do you even pay for this?" he continues as if interrupting her meditation isn't enough. "If I wanted to exert myself in this much humidity, I'd ask my old CO to ship me back out to Kuwait, or hell, I could just as easily go outside.

It takes an immense amount of concentration for her to regain her balance (physically and spiritually) and counteract the irritation she's feeling, but she finally asks, short of snapping, "Wasn't there some...Veronica issue you wanted to discuss?"

"Fi," he says, breath haggard, "she's pissed about the car again."

She blinks as a bead of sweat hits her eye. "Well, of course she's pissed about the car." A little quieter, she hisses, "You practically blew it up!"

"I—" The instructor tells the class to transition to triangle pose just as the ventilation system switches back on, pumping more hot air into the confined space. Sam has to account for the increased sound, and the fact that her back is now to him when he clarifies, "That was for the job, and you know it, sister! It was either that, or a Czech assassin would have made mincemeat outta you, me, and Mikey."

She twists, fingers stretched out toward the ceiling. "Well, it's not about any of that for Veronica, Sam. It's...it's more like if you can't cherish her car, how could you possibly cherish her?" she explains as if it's the most obvious thing in the world (which, it is).

Sam's quiet for a moment—the instructor has them shift into chair pose—before he glances over at her. He swipes his soaked through hair out of his face. "Cherish, huh?"

She turns to him and nods, somewhat impressed that he has both made it this far in life being dense and that he hasn't passed out quite yet.

—

"So, neither of you will help me with this?"

Sam and Fi exchange a lazy glance before looking back at Michael from behind their respective sunglasses. Fi sighs dramatically. "It's not that we won't help, Michael. It's more like we..." She looks over at Sam for back up. "I want to say...can't?"

Sam laces his fingers behind his head and shrugs. "Sure, 'can't' works."

Michael throws both of them an unimpressed (and admittedly, envious) look from over his shoulder as he pauses his work on the Charger's carburetor. They're both set up in slightly rusted out poolside chairs with their feet soaking in a plastic kiddie pool that doesn't look a day younger than the early '70s. Probably some artifact from when he and Nate were younger.

He sets his 3/8" combo wrench on top of the engine. "Right, and you both can't," he probes, now leaning against the Charger, facing his two friends, as he gestures for them to continue, "because...?"

"What do you want from us, Michael?" Fi demands listlessly. He watches as she slides her bikini strap (she and Sam are both wearing bathing suits) off her right shoulder, so she can evenly apply more sunscreen. He swallows, possibly lingering longer than necessary (she's...well, it's...still a lot) before redirecting his attention anywhere else.

"Yeah," Sam agrees, snagging the tube of sunscreen out of Fi's hands, despite her protests. "You're the one that called for a debrief on the hottest day of the whole damn calendar year."

Michael pointedly ignores the rivulets of sweat soaking into his beater and, worse, the waistband of his jeans. "It's not the hottest—"

Sam cuts him off. "Historically high temperatures, Mike. I overheard your mom talking about it."

"Overheard me talking about what?"

Michael looks up, while Sam and Fi turn—almost in unison—as Madeline exits through the back door, a tray of iced tea in her hands. When neither Sam nor Fi rushes to help her (at least they're consistent, Michael thinks to himself bitterly), he walks over and helps her place the glasses on the small fold out table set up between the other two.

"Thanks, Maddie." Sam noticeably has no issue exerting himself to pick up his drink. Before he can take a single sip, however, Madeline snatches it out of his hands and replaces it with a beer. It may just be the widest Michael has ever seen Sam smile. "We were just saying how insanely hot it is today—"

"—and how only a certified sociopath would expect his dearest and most loyal friends to perform manual labor in this kind of weather," Fi finishes for him. She flashes a seemingly innocent smile at Michael from over the rim of her own glass. He responds in kind with something between a frown and a grimace.

Meanwhile, Madeline takes in his disheveled appearance. "And what happened to you?" she demands, handing him the iced tea that had previously been Sam's. He takes it, grateful. "You're soaked!"

"Yeah, I know, Ma," he says calmly, trying to restrain himself. "I've been out here fixing the Charger, but it would go a lot faster if I had some help..."

She follows his accusatory gaze back to Sam and Fiona and gasps. "Well, don't look at them, Michael!" she blanches as if he were asking them to help him bury a body, which...would not be an unreasonable scenario in his line of work. "It's hot outside!"

Michael stares up at the sky as if willing God to grant him the patience he is so quickly losing.

—

Virgil and...his mom.

—

Virgil and...his mother.

—

His own mom and...Virgil.

—

He's gonna kill him.

—

...Right after he drains a quart of bleach.

—

"He's here."

Maricruz doesn't bother looking up from her register. Their manager gave them a strict deadline for completing their cash counts today. "Who's here?

"The guy I was telling you about, the one who's in here all the time?"

Suddenly, Maricruz remembers. "Oh, yeah! The dude with all the yogurt, right?"

Her co-worker, Olivia, nods, cracking her gum in the process. "He only ever buys weird stuff, like screws and duct tape, never food—well, except for the yogurt. And, occasionally, beer." She pauses, then: "I think he might be a serial killer."

Maricruz finally looks up and watches as the man examines a box of 45-watt lightbulbs. She frowns, then turns to Olivia. "This guy?" she wants to know. "The one who dresses like some rich kid's hot, investment banker dad, who sometimes attends a lot of backyard barbecues?”

"Yes."

They pause in their conversation as Olivia rings up an elderly woman purchasing a bag of spinach and last week's People magazine. She waves goodbye to her and then once she leaves through the store's front doors, she zeroes in on her friend. "Hold up—are you saying hot people can't be serial killers?"

Maricruz rolls her eyes. "No. Duh, of course not. We both watched the same Ted Bundy documentary.

"True. Wait...are we saying Ted Bundy was hot?"

"I am not having this conversation with you."

Maricruz rings up her own customer (single mom with two toddlers, tons of sugary cereals) before looking back at Olivia. "There's no way this guy's a killer. Didn't you say he sometimes shows up with his supermodel wife?"

"Well, yeah," Olivia admits, "but, hello, ever heard of Scott and Laci Peterson?" She blows a bubble with her gum than pops it with an audible crack. "Also, for the record, I've never actually seen hot-might-be-a-serial-killer dude with a ring, so I think the supermodel's just his girlfriend.

Maricruz watches him grab a different pack of lightbulbs off the top shelf for an elderly woman behind him and sighs wistfully. "It totally figures he has a girlfriend." She stares a little longer. "I mean, serial killer or not, look at his arms."

Suddenly, Olivia clears her throat super loudly, snapping her out of her reverie. "Oh, my God, Maricruz, shutupshutup. He's coming to my lane!"

She looks over, and sure enough, the guy walks over to Olivia's lane and empties the contents of his basket onto the belt: a pack of lightbulbs, zip ties, rope, and two packs of blueberry yogurt. Olivia shoots Maricruz a look over his shoulder that seems to say, See? I told you so!

"Hi," he says with a bright, exaggerated smile, oblivious to their non-verbal conversation. It takes a moment for Olivia to recover while he digs in his pocket for his wallet and to respond back like a normal, human person.

"Welcome to Milam's Market," she says, totally using her Customer Service Voice as she rings up his items. "Did you find everything you need today?"

"Hmm?" He looks up from his phone, and the frown he was momentarily wearing transforms easily back to the smile from earlier. He snaps the phone shut and looks back up at her, somewhat sheepish. "Oh, uh, yeah. Even got a great deal on yogurt, so..."

Olivia gives him his total, and before he grabs his bags, he thanks both of them and tells them to have a great day.

As they watch him leave, Maricruz turns to Olivia. "Are we sure the supermodel is his girlfriend and not just his, like, insanely hot sister?" she asks desperately as she cranes her head to follow his exit beyond the store's double sliding doors.

Olivia nods sadly. "Yeah."

—

She tells him it's not good enough, but he doesn't know what else to say. He's never been good at this. He even has the scars from Dublin and Germany to prove it.

He feels slightly self-conscious, standing there shirtless, reminding her that they were profoundly unhappy together, nearly a decade ago. Ten years is a long time, and he's not exactly getting any younger—neither is his physique, frankly. He hasn't let himself go, by any means, but there's definitely a softness to his lower stomach that wasn't there the last time they were, uh...they last time they were...together. Fi doesn't mention it, or even really seem to mind much, however, when her foot connects with it just a few moments later.

He knows he's in trouble when his first punch accidentally lands, and she looks up at him afterward with that familiar fire in her eyes, the one that's equal parts terrifying and enticing.

He knows he's a goner when that same peculiar mix sends a jolt way down past his (grudgingly soft) gut while she deftly traces her lips along the lines of his palm.

And he definitely knows he's in way over his head when she lets him pin her to the mattress—when their eyes lock, and he anchors her face in his hand, while her hips cant slightly to meet his own. Admittedly, his self-control grounds to dust long before then, but it's only when his lips capture hers that he finally does the one thing he has wanted to do since the CIA dumped him in that trashy hotel with her all those months ago—

He finally gives in.

#burnnoticeedit #burn notice week #my writing #my fic #burn notice fic #michael westen #fiona glenanne #sam axe #madeline westen #fiona x michael

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leontincs · 6 years

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･:*:･ﾟ☆ jessica chastain. forty six. cisfemale. she/her ↷ léonie winters has been spotted by the paparazzi in los angeles. they are an a-list celebrity known for their career as an actress. they’re known by their fans to be industrious, meticulous, and philanthropic but the tabloids frequently portray them to be anomalous, cynical, & unorthodox. i wish them every success in the entertainment industry. ･:*:･ﾟ☆

hola everyone , my name’s frankie ( she / her ) and i’m a twenty - two year old living in the good ol’ state of texas ( cst ) , and i’m so excited that fameshq is back ! if you were previously in the rp and remember mariëlla * , bless your soul but i present to you miss LÉONIE WINTERS. i decided to start afresh with the rp back , so please bear with me. PLEASE NOTE : if you’d like me to fill out a wanted connection of yours , don’t be afraid to hmu either ! thank you for taking a moment out of your time in reading this lame intro. i love you. i’m being serious though.

* loosely based off of an old muse of mine , which is irrelevant.

before i forget , please click on the lovely heart so it magically turns to its natural color if you’d like to plot. if not , i won’t. just kidding. i’m going to disappear after posting this , but i’ll definitely be around before we open and hopefully with no interruptions. fingers crossed.

━━━━━ quick facts / basic information .

birth name: léontine thirza cruyssen viscaal .

stage name: léonie “ lay-OH-nee ” winters .

nickname(s): if you can come up with one , you’re a genius but perhaps leo .

age: forty - six [ 46 years old ]

date of birth: november 25th , 1972 .

place of birth: amsterdam , netherlands .

romantic / sexual orientation: panromantic + demisexual .

gender + species: cisgender female + human.

hometown: new york city , new york .

education: some high school in ny , nyu tisch school of the arts.

languages: english , dutch , and spanish .

nationality: dutch , american .

ethnicity: caucasian ( european ) .

religion: non - practicing christian / roman catholic .

drinks, smokes & drugs: yes / yes / no .

current location: los angeles , california .

occupation: actress / executive producer / wannabe director / writer .

━━━━━ personality .

zodiac sign: sagittarius .

mbti: esfp .

likes: matcha tea , peanut butter , volunteering , traveling , + writing .

dislikes: coffee , mint chocolate , traffic , reckless drivers , + hospitals .

bad habits: smoking , procrastinating , perfectionism , + swearing .

secret talent: probably none .

hobbies: cooking , hiking , writing , baking , + knitting / crocheting .

fears: probably too many , as in a few , to list .

five positive traits: industrious , meticulous , easygoing , philanthropic + zealous .

five negative traits: anomalous , cynical , unorthodox , anxious , + restless .

other mentionable details: a history of anxiety disorder / panic attacks ( tw ) , collects movie tickets , closet organized by color , tba / etc .

━━━━━ appearance .

tattoos: three tattoos but to be determined .

piercings: one single piercing on each earlobe .

━━━━━ family information .

parents’ names: constantin and thea cruyssen ( née viscaal ) .

parent relationship: healthy , tight - knit .

sibling names: tba because i might send in a wc to the main .

sibling relationship: all right , all right , all right .

other relevant relatives: saskia winters / maternal grandmother , etc .

children: three kids. might also send in a wc to the main but i don’t know .

pets: clea the dalmatian ( f ) , electra breed tba ( f ) , and toby the tuxedo cat ( m ) .

━━━━━ lazily written biography .

léonie was born in the city of amsterdam in the early 1970′s to constantin + thea cruyssen. they were a family of five. the cruyssens moved to manhattan when their kids were young ( their ages aren’t too far apart ) . raised the children mostly in new york city. every summer they’d visit their extended family in the netherlands. she wasn’t too bad of a student throughout her scholastic years. she had a keen interest in acting , but always had a great appreciation for film and its history . so when it was time for college applications , she chose tisch school of the arts and hoped the school would accept her application. they accepted her ! in that moment , her life’s made and was off to start her journey as an ACTRESS .

léonie graduated from nyu in 1994 for a bachelor’s in drama and performance studies. she spent two years working as a waitress in new york before having the desire to move , but she managed to earn herself some acting gigs. it wasn’t easy but she’d have guest starring & recurring roles on popular tv shows such as law & order and nypd blue. basically shows that were based in new york. fast forward to 1996 when she decided to move to los angeles at the age of 24. when leonie first moved to LA , she started working as a waitress ( again ) , babysitter , and a dog walker so that she is able to afford a roof over her head , pay the bills , and have food on the table to survive. after quite some time , she was able to hire an agent to help keep her career in check or offer what’s best. the redhead was pleased with how her life was going even with a few hardships here and there.

thankfully , she and her agent have been together ever since , and only being in los angeles for nearly a year. at the start of her journey as an a performer , she was eternally grateful for the roles she’d gotten ... but why did they have to be the most STEREOTYPICAL WOMEN portrayed on small screens and big screens ? THIS occured a few years before the 21st century ! so that’s when she started to slowly but surely build her career. her agent understood , meaning that they stood by her still. HALLELUJAH ! grateful as ever , léonie never once slowed down for anything. [ rihanna’s work plays in the background ] anyways , she hasn’t stopped working. her agent tells her that she’s a damn workaholic and all she can respond with is , ‘ so are you ! ’ or ‘ that makes two of us ! ’ throughout this time , léonie has secretly written and sold scripts to production companies without receiving any of the credit. to this day , it’s probably what she regrets the most.

years and years have gone by and miss winters is known for portraying very intense women on the big screen. she is probably most notable for being cast as POISON IVY from the dc comics. winters almost dropped out of the project without a reason , however she felt / believed she wasn’t good enough to act the part of a unique character. later , she’d take up roles such as a headstrong business woman to a spy and a central intelligence agent. for a women to portray ‘em was possible in the film industry and would kindly imply that women shouldn’t be afraid to follow their passions / dreams no matter what they were. her favorite role would have to be portraying a vigilante with an anti - hero qualities. forget about the comics for a sec , it was an “original” script. yadda yadda yadda , LÉONIE’S AN A - LIST ACTRESS. how the fuck did that happen ?

appearances , red carpets , excessive interviews , traveling , movie premieres , etc. the dutch - american never thought she would be in the position that she is in currently. she has a desire of wanting to disappear from the limelight and focus on herself a little more as she has been described as restless and anomalous. this red head in particular doesn’t have time for any bullshit NONSENSE , honestly. leonie’s gonna do what’s she’s gotta do with respect , harmony , confidence , and dignity. screw anyone that’s out to get her and other women in the industry. she will stand up for everyone , including talents that have potential. she’ll be following your career without you knowing it. she’s full of wonder and has an element of surprise. even if she’s feeling rather weary , she’s still working to the maximum degree today. the bitch needs to rest at some point.

━━━━━ extra info .

TBA AS SOON AND THE MORE LEONIE IS DEVELOPED. THANKS FOR READING.

#fameshq.intro

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seotipsandtricks-me · 5 years

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Starting out as a freelance writer can be confusing, can’t it? You have no idea what steps you should take, how you should be spending your time, or if you’re even doing the right thing. But the truth is that it doesn’t have to be that way: Starting a freelance writing business simple, easy and doesn’t require any money to get started. You just need to know the right steps to take, at the right time, to get your business moving. That’s where this article comes in, because in it I want to show you exactly what you need to do start a freelance writing business. Here’s what you can expect… What You’ll Learn The 7 free essentials you need to get started 9 easy ways any beginner can make money (without experience) How to find a profitable writing niche Where to find jobs that accept beginners (at good rates) How to write a pitch that will jump out of their inbox and into your bank account Who Am I To Teach You All Of This? Four years ago I was a dead broke shoe-salesman, with £18,500+ in debt; working 10 hours a day for £5 an hour. I had no qualifications, no connections and no idea what to do with my life. That was until I stumbled across an easy system for starting and growing a freelance writing business that transformed my life, freed me from debt, allowed me to travel to over 30 different countries and generate more than $120,000 in income. Then my passions turned to helping teach others start their own freelance writing businesses. And, I’m on the mission to help 1000 people like you start and grow a profitable freelance writing business. As a writer my work has been featured in some places you might have heard of: So, Matt approached me to write this article for you because, well…I know my stuff which lead me to create the Freelance Writers School. And if you follow the steps and the advice in this article, you too can start and grow a full-time freelance writing business. What Is Freelance Writing? A freelance writer is what I like to call a “Pen for hire”. You exchange your words (or time) for money, regardless of your niche or medium. You provide a writing service to a client based on their needs, which you’ll work out in advanced or will be published in their job description. Let’s say you’re a freelance writer who writes blog posts, and you’ve been contracted to write an article for Matt’s site. You’ll pitch an idea (or be given one) and you’ll work on this independently. The amount you’ll charge will be calculated on the amount of words, or the amount of time, it takes to write an article. You get paid when he’s happy with the article (you can get paid before once you’re more established), and you work together to make it right for his readers. You’re not an employee and you’re an equal partner to your client. Whilst this is a service and you’re obligated to provide what the client wants – the same way your phone provider is – this is a relationship between the two of you. Why Become A Freelance Writer? I’ll admit I’m bias, but freelance writing is one of the greatest jobs to do. Since 2014 I’ve been able to travel to over 30 countries, relocate to Germany, write for millions of readers, help people change their lives and earn more than $120,000. All whilst being able to sit at my laptop, sip coffee, and create art. You’re in control of your income – as long as you’re willing to put in the work – and can rid yourself of the shackles of a nine-to-five lifestyle. (Or use it to grow your income outside of your job). There are drawbacks, because you have to: find your own clients, motivate yourself, do your own taxes and learn extra skills. But if you want a life that you control, to do work that you love, whilst earning $40,000+ from the comfort of your own home, then every drawback is worth it. Quick Start Checklist: Do You Have What You Need? There are a few essentials you’ll need before you get started. The good news is that they’re freely available to anyone who wants to start this type of business. Here’s a short checklist: Computer: So you have somewhere to do, and save, your work. Internet Connection: You’re here so you’ve got that down. Email Address: Make it professional – [email protected] isn’t going to woo any clients. Word Processor: You can get this free from Google Docs or you can use Microsoft Office. Free WordPress Blog: So you can have a portfolio; but also practice writing and scribble down ideas as you go. A Paypal Account: That way you can get paid. A Desire To Write: Because this job is hard if you don’t enjoy it. That’s really all there is to it. The rest of it can be learned on the job. There’s no need for any extra products, or investments. If you find you do need anything you can just learn as you go. For example I’d been writing for a year before I knew what the legal requirements for an invoice were. It didn’t stop me making money or building a business, it just gave me an extra 60 minutes work at tax time. You also don’t need any qualifications. I have none, and I failed English at college. If I can do it, so can you. Get started and learn as you go. 9 Ways Beginner Freelancers Can Make Money Before we get into the nitty-gritty, I want to show you some of the ways that you can start making money writing in the next few months. These methods have lower barriers to entry and you can mix and match them whilst you find what you like to write, and to increase the amount of income streams you have. Freelance Blogging Freelance Blogging is how I’ve made 90% of my money over the course of my career (in conjunction with option too). It’s also one of the most beginner friendly ways to make money writing because the barriers to entry are much lower than elsewhere. There are two main options you should look at: Content Marketing: Writing blog posts for companies who are using blogs, social media and SEO to grow their business. Helping Bloggers: Lots of successful bloggers don’t have time to create all of their content anymore. You can come on board and help them with their workload. (100% the most fun way to earn money). Unless Google drops off the face of the earth tomorrow, or people decide they don’t want independent help and advice, then this is a way of making money that is here to stay too. Freelance Website Copywriting One of the easiest ways to break into freelance writing is by helping people create the copy for their new website. Here’s the thing: Hundreds of people get new websites made for their businesses every day. But they have no idea what they should write there. And why would your local plumber have any idea what they should write? Two of my first ever clients were local businesses (they were across a corridor from each other, so when I landed one I landed the other) who needed their websites writing for them. I saved them money doing it with the agency, and they helped me get my business off the ground. If you can find a local business with a new website where you can easily see they need better writing, or get friendly with a local design agency, you could find an endless stream of income. eBook Writing If you’re a specialist on a topic – let’s say from your past job, or what you studied at college – you can get your break into the industry writing eBooks for people. My first ever freelance writing job came writing a fitness eBook for a client through Elance (now UpWork), because I was a personal trainer when I was in my teens. Take a look at this video interview from Dave Koziel and Aleksander Vitkin: Dave’s entire business is built on freelance writer’s creating eBooks for him. And that’s just one guy. Think of how many sites sell eBooks, or offer them as a free download. Podcast And Video Script Writing Think Podcasters and YouTubers do everything off the cuff? Think again. Many of them have scripts that they work from to keep them on track and focused. And, even as a beginner, you could be the one to write them. One of my students, Rebekah Donovan, got one of her first gigs writing for a podcast in the health niche, without any experience as a freelancer. Transcription Speaking of Podcasts, Transcription is also a great place to get your foot in the door because it’s a non-skilled position. (You’re basically getting paid to write what someone said). However it can be incredibly valuable content for an online business. So, if you see a podcaster using transcription, you could be the one to help her. Translation Do you speak a second language, or is English not your first language? If so, there’s a market for you here. Many bloggers and content writers want to reach a wider audience, and if you can translate their content into: German, Spanish, Russian, French, Arabic, Chinese or any other language where there is high demand for content, you may have a niche. To make a professional note: you need to qualified to be a translator. However if you’re a fluent speaker of two languages, many potential clients won’t mind, as long as it’s accurate. Just be sure to declare up front. Review Writing Review’s come in a lot of different forms. You’re on an Internet Marketing site so you’re probably only thinking Amazon and Digital Product reviews, but your scope here fits into any niche: Product Review Writing: Amazon, Digital or other. This can extend into blog posts too, like this review Matt did of SERPed. And if you really want to grind, you can get paid by services like DooYoo to write reviews too. Show And Performance Reviews: If you’re interested in the arts, you can get involved with publications that will pay you (or at least cover expenses) to go and review shows. I got plenty of experience doing this with a local publication. Service Reviews: You can be hired to write a review on services in your niche. For example, writing about the customer service provided by a hotel or a retail chain. These all branch off into their own mini-niches too, that you’ll find as you become familiar with the niche you’re writing for. Product Description Writing When someone once asked me what I do for a living, I read out a mental list of topics and he said, “Oh yeah, I suppose someone has to write all of them!”. What he was referring to was Product Content Writing. Take a look at this random page for a fridge on Amazon that I pulled up: Someone has to write them, right? And they’re readily available jobs. I once went through and wrote product content for over 200 customer claims sites. It was as mind numbing as possible, but it sure felt good when I got that pay cheque. Ghostwriting Here’s a surprising fact: Many bloggers, business owners and even authors don’t personally write all of their own content. Often they bring in someone like me, a ghostwriter, to help them with their workload and create content they otherwise wouldn’t have been able to write. In all niches you can find clients screaming out for ghostwriting clients, and if you’ve got the ability to adapt and change your writing voice, this can be a long-term contract that pays well. Step Find Your Writer’s Niche Choosing a freelance writer’s niche is damn scary. By saying “I only write in this niche”, it feels kinda like you’re shutting yourself off from thousands of other paying clients you could work for. And, you are… But that’s a good thing. Let me explain: Working in a niche is kind of like playing a video game. At the early levels you get all of the lowest grade items, small payouts for your quests and all of the higher level characters can kill you in one swipe. But as you progress the levels, and specialise is a skill – magic, stealth, strength – you start getting better items, bigger payouts, and those n00bs will think twice before they try and fight with you. The same goes for niching down. At the start – where many freelancers spend their time – you can only get the low-paying entry level jobs because you’re not good enough, knowledgeable enough or well-known enough. But once you get through those entry level jobs and start working yourself up through a niche, you build a portfolio and can start writing for other higher paying clients and begin commanding, $60, $100 and even $200+ an hour for your services. So whilst you decrease the amount of total clients you can work with, you increase the amount you can earn. In this section you’re going to learn how to find your niche and unlock a world of higher earning potential. Start With The Past… When I first started thinking about niching down I had no idea where to look. I didn’t feel like I had any real interests and skills (outside of writing) that could make me any money. I told my Mum about this problem and she just looked at me like I was an idiot. “You’ve got lots of skills, what are you talking about?” she said. She ran upstairs, grabbed me a pen and paper, and told me to write down ten things that I’d done, achieved, enjoyed or read about in the last five years. Here’s what that list looked like: Worked as a personal trainer Backpacked around Australia and Europe Coached soccer in America for one year Was the highest KPI seller in my retail store Played in a semi-professional rugby league Mentored an 18 year old through his fitness instructor program Written guest posts for Lifehack and Addicted2Success Learned basic Spanish Read a lot of books on productivity and business Took a Salsa dancing class It was surprising to me to see how many skills and pockets of knowledge I had that were at least above a complete beginner level. Although not all of them were winning ideas, the options in bold are what I felt I would be comfortable writing about for a larger audience. . If you feel that you don’t have any knowledge or skills you could write about, I’d highly recommend trying this task for yourself, and don’t underestimate any skills you might have from the past. To steal a little from Ramit Sethi, even speaking English is a skill! Follow The Money The next best place to look for your writers niche is where you spend your money. This is usually a great indicator of what you’re interested in, and topics you could write about. As I wrote about in this article, you can look at: Recent Amazon purchases Recent eBay purchases Courses and classes you’ve taken (both online and in-person) Your direct debit / monthly subscription payments Items you’ve always wanted to buy (but never had the budget for) The types of books you buy Are you the kind of person who spends $50 on a haircut? Perhaps there’s a career writing in fashion and grooming. Are you the kind of person who takes Thai cooking classes? Food blogs might be calling your name. Are you the kind of person who has subscriptions to SERPed and Ahrefs? Then maybe a life of SEO writing is in your future. The Drill Down… Once you’ve fleshed out all of your ideas, you’d do well to group them into their major niche categories. This could look like: Travel Fashion Internet Marketing Technology The final step is to drill your niche into its relevant sub niches and where you can write for them. Each niche has a tree that looks a little like this: For example, if you were to write in the travel niche this could break down like this: And if you want to write in internet marketing – much like I did – you might find a breakdown like this: Each niche and sub niche will have businesses, blogs and podcasts associated with them. This is where you begin to really see all of the opportunities in your niche and where you can begin to look for jobs. What If My Niche Doesn’t Have A Lot Of Money In It? Trust me, it does. Unless you’re into Albino Badger Wrestling or Bon Jovi Themed Horse Racing Events, you’re going to be able to be able to find at least one form of income. Although, those niches probably need freelance writers too. You can break down a niche into a lot of different chunks and there’s money to be made in all of them. Take your niche – I’m going to use Travel for this – and explore to see which of these elements it has. Blogs Perform a quick Google search of “your niche + blogs”, for example, “travel + blogs”: If there’s blogs about your niche – which there will be – here’s one really lucrative opportunity for you to Freelance. In fact the more niche you go, the more money you can make for blog posts, because writers are few and far between. For example, Model Railroad Hobbyist will pay a minimum of $230 for a blog post about model rail interests. And, as AllFreelanceWriting.com points out in this article, some writers have made over $1000 writing for them. Companies With Products If there are businesses in your niche selling products or services or information, there is an opportunity to make money with them. For example, if I look for Travel Companies on Google I find STA Travel. On their site there is a section about Adventure Tours: Somebody has to write all of this copy, why not let it be you? Think of how many pages there are like this across the internet that you could get involved with. For every page on the internet, there’s a chance to write great copy (at a price). Affiliate Programs Where there are affiliate programs there is money to be made. For every product you can find here, there are blogs and niche sites and businesses making money from them. And, all of those sites need copywriting to sell those products: Not sure of the opportunities here? You can create: blog posts, sales pages, product reviews, website copy. Just about anything that involves writing and can help sell a product. This Step In Short Take some time to explore the niches that you want to work in. They can be based in: Your past experience Where you spend your money The topics you’re interested in Then explore the niche a little bit deeper; what products or services need you to write for them? Are there bloggers, product reviews, industry websites, news sites et al. that you could create for? If you get this step right, the rest of your business will effortlessly click into place. Step Where To Find Freelance Writing Jobs Online In this step I want to show you where to find freelance writing jobs. Don’t worry…you don’t need to pitch to anyone yet. But as early in your career as possible you should get into the habit of checking job boards, content sites and classified ads. Why? So you can get used to what a job description looks like, the little nuances in them, and seeing which work you’d like to do (and which you wouldn’t). There are three sub-sections to this section: Advertised Jobs: How to find people that are actively looking for writers. Non-Advertised Jobs: Choosing who to pitch to and finding those hidden jobs. Super Secret Insider Info: Simple methods I use to find clients that work. They’re all easy to do, they just take practice, but you’re never more than an email address away from your next client. Easy Places To Find Advertised Jobs These are the easiest types of job to find because they come from clients who are actively seeking your services. They normally come in the forms of: Freelance writing jobs Boards Website Job Alerts Classified Ads Content Sites (like UpWork) You can find all of these freelance writing jobs online for free. But keep in mind that they’re often high competition and low paying. They should be used as a tool to help you build your business and not as the lifeblood of it. However I have found lots of clients here and built long term relationships with them, that have grown both of our incomes over time. Not all the jobs here will be in your niche(s), but that’s completely normal and the whole point of having a niche! That being said, let’s look at how to use them effectively… How To Effectively Use Freelance Writing Jobs Boards Freelance writing jobs boards are the place to find mid-range job with established clients. Some people will say that job boards need you to be a better writer, but I don’t think that’s true. You just need to be good enough to get paid. Below are the only job boards I’d recommend looking at. The rest are normally rehashed links back to the pages here: ProBlogger All Indie Writers FreelanceWritingGigs.com Blogging Pro They all compile freelance writing jobs that have been posted there, or direct you to jobs posted on classified sites giving you the cream of the crop. There’s not much to this, really. You don’t need to sign up or do anything magical. You can just start bookmarking freelance writing jobs that you like the look of. I’ve used this method to land some of my most consistent clients like Nichehacks and Canva, so you’ll definitely be able to find some higher paying work here too. Setting Up For Freelance Writing Jobs Alerts If you’re interested in taking on high-paying, corporate clients, you can use job alerts to notify you of work that is posted in your niche. I use Gorkana for freelance writing jobs alerts because they have a ‘Journalism Jobs’ section; but you can also sign up to specific job boards, or use Matt’s advice in this article to set up Google Alerts. Don’t read too much into the titles of jobs on these job boards – like Journalist or Customer Content Creator – they’re just business jargon. All you need to do through a site like this is set your filters, find a search that suits your needs and then choose their update option. Like this email subscription box here: That gives me a lot of emails a month, like the ones below, with job information. These are usually pretty effective because they don’t just send you needless updates, they send them out only when a job gets posted: Classified Job Postings Classifieds are an underrated job search tool, but they can be highly effective. There are even services like FreelanceWritingGigs.com that pool the best of the best together for you for free. You can look for these job postings a little closer to home as well using sites like: Craigslist GumTree ClassifiedAds And refine your search under the jobs section of your local area. Like so: Getting Stuck Into Content Sites Content sites are a great stomping ground for beginners. You can get a lot of experience, and get paid for it because of the sheer volume of jobs. I wrote about all of these sites more in depth in my huge article about all the ways to make money online. But, here they are in short for you: Freelancer UpWork Guru People Per Hour iFreelance The lessons you’ll learn in this article will help you get jobs on these sites. But if you’re looking for a more tailored experience for this type of freelancing you can read this article about how I made $1,593 a month from UpWork and how you can too. That’s it for advertised jobs, time to move on to unadvertised jobs. Dig Out Those Unadvertised Goldmines There’s an unwritten rule in Freelancing that says: The highest paying jobs are never advertised. And it’s one of the most true statement you’ll ever hear. In fact, a solid 90% of my client base right now didn’t advertise their jobs. I went to them, or they were referred to me, and they’re willing to pay more. I don’t know why it works that way, but you’ll just have to accept that’s the way this world works. But that begs the question: how do you know to pitch to them if it’s not advertised? The short answer is that you don’t. You just have to go out there and speak to people, network and find out what they’re looking for. However there are a few strategies you can employ to make your search a little easier. Finding People To Cold Pitch Earlier you looked at breaking your niche down into categories – like Blogs and Companies – now you’re going to use those same searches to find people to pitch to. When I first got into the Internet Marketing Niche, I’d look for the parts of the niche that interested me: Social Media SEO Blogging Then I’d narrow them down even further to find what I could write about. Take social media, for example, there were a two options open to me: Blogs about Social Media Social Media Tools So I’d go and look for all the social media tools I could. Which lead to me pitching to Share As Image (now Stencil) and becoming their Content Manager. And, to me landing an epic blog post spot on Buffer: Think of how you can apply the same to your niche. What do the different parts of your niche break down to? You can find: Blogs Retailers Manufacturers Corporate Sites Tools and Plugins Local Businesses Fortune 500 companies And from all of those you can break down even further, like if you were to look at retailers for the travel niche, that could be: Hiking stores Camping equipment Travel Agents Online Guidebook Shops That’s just the tip of the iceberg as well. There are probably hundreds more options on top of that. Be thorough. Dive deeply into your niches and find all of the options of companies that will need writing in some form, as you looked at before. From there you can add them to your list of people you can write a cold call email too. Finding Referral Clients If you don’t have any clients at all this is a step for the future. But, I can show you how to get around that in the next section. Referrals are one of the most powerful ways of landing a client. Because you come with a guarantee, from someone they know, that your work is of a high quality. I regularly send out emails like this to clients, asking if they know of anyone who is looking for a freelance writer. And, sometimes you land a winner. Like when our very own Matt referred me to Colin Klinkert of SERPed, where I became the content manager there. Search For Local Clients You have a huge network you’re not even aware of. Like, seriously. Just cast your mind out to all of the people you know and all of the people that they know. There is an endless supply of people who could hook you up to a new client. Think: Friends Family Old Classmates Current Classmates Old Work Colleagues Current Clients Old Clients Your Hairdresser/Barber Your Social Media Friends People You See When You Walk The Dog The list goes on and on and on. Who’s to say what’s going to come your way through these channels? Two of my first ever corporate clients came this way. A Training Company and a Language Interpretation service that operated across the hall from each other. The first owner was my cousin’s best friend, the second just came and sat in on the meeting and chose to buy in. There will be hundreds of businesses in your local area that other writers have never even thought to pitch to, either. While they search the furthest reaches of the internet, why not walk into their building and request a meeting? And, as Sean Ogle once told me when I interviewed him for a Podcast (that never actually aired): “Get to local events – conferences, marketing events and anything else. There is no substitute for meeting people in person.” You can find a whole host of these events on MeetUp or pay attention to local publications and magazines. 2 Super-Secret Insider Methods For Finding Online Jobs There are some really easy other ways of finding clients, too. In fact they’re right under your nose and they can be accessed easily. Here they are… The Upside-Down Method I want to share with you the most effective way I’ve found of getting to write for people. These are instantly warm or hot leads you can pitch to, and the success rate is much higher than any other way I’ve tried. Take a look at one of the online magazines or blogs in your niche. And, find for times that a freelance writer has contributed. Usually they’ll have a biography that tells you they’re a freelancers, like this bio from Kristi Hines on Nichehacks: Now, even if there’s not a link in their profile, almost all freelancers have an online portfolio – whether that’s on their own hosted site or a free WordPress blog – so you can find that by searching in Google for their name (include freelancer or blogger if their name is really generic): Once you’re on their site, look for pages with names like Portfolio or Latest, where they show you a list of the clients they’ve worked (or are working for) by sharing their latest or most successful posts: Right in front of you right now there is a full database of potential clients that are open to having freelancers work for them. They’re at least paying one freelancer so they’ll be open to others, too. Using this method – including Kristi’s Site – I’ve been able to land writing work with a lot of big, high paying clients. Oh, and stay tuned for a niche little tip on pitching later on, too. The LinkedIn Lead Generator This process is a similar to the above. But, with a little twist that you can guess from the title. You do it on LinkedIn instead. Once again, find yourself a freelance writer on one of your favourite publications in your niche. Then, instead of looking for them on Google, go ahead and search them on LinkedIn: From there head down the page to find their Freelance Work Experience. This will either be under the tab of their company name, like it is for Kristi here: Or under different experience tabs like it is on my personal LinkedIn Profile: Once again you have a tonne of companies to reach out to and pitch to because they’re interested in freelancers. Don’t worry about stealing income from that freelancer, either. Normally you’ll be working in-addition to them so it’s not like you’re taking food off their table. You’re just putting it on your own. Okay, that’s how to find potential clients all wrapped up. Now, how can you actually get them? This Step In Short Freelance Writing jobs can be found in three different ways: Advertised: Where it’s posted on a freelance writing jobs board, forum or freelancer site etc. Unadvertised: Where you contact a company or person unsolicited looking for opportunities. Referral: Where friends, family or current clients send new clients your way. Advertised jobs are best found on job board like ProBlogger Jobs or Freelance Writing Gigs. Unadvertised freelance writing jobs take some searching; but you can use methods like The Website Hijacker to find companies that are open to working with freelancers. Or, get involved in your local community and find the people around you who are open to it. Referral clients come from asking the question and generating warm leads from people that you know. This can be a great method of automating your marketing. Step Build Your Sales Tools Writing is far too subjective for someone to determine what makes a good writer and what makes a bad writer. You can see it for yourself in literature. There will be writers and novelists who have a huge following but write in a way that you just can’t stand to read. I can’t bear to read Harry Potter, but J.K Rowling is still out there making a fortune. The way someone can choose whether you’re a good writer, then, is: Whether they like your writing style How good your portfolio is If other people have published your work What other people say about your writing They won’t even use all of these. They’ll be happy with just two or three of them. So don’t worry if you can’t tick all of these boxes. Heck, most freelancers can’t hit all four of these when they move from one niche to another. But you do need to do need to be able to showcase your work to people, in order to land the client. So let’s look at how you can start to build these up. A Rock Solid Portfolio Your portfolio is where you can show people your work and let them make a decision for themselves. There’s no right or wrong way to do a portfolio, but it should be: Frequently Updated Relevant To Your Niche Relevant To Your Skills I’m going to show you a few different examples of portfolios so you can get an idea of what I mean. Portfolio Simple And Visual This portfolio from Copywriting Is Art is simple, but really effective. If you’re going for a copywriting angle, this is a great one to follow: Simple imagery gives it authority and is easy for people to see that there is an endorsement of his work. When you follow the links through the image you get a comprehensive breakdown of the work done, too: Portfolio Direct Links This portfolio is my own personal one at JamesWritesThings. I use screenshots of my posts, with headlines that link directly to them: Again it’s simple and effective, but it serves to show people I’ve been published elsewhere and can be trusted to write for their site. When they see a site they know, it’s also a big bonus. Portfolio Excerpts And Logos This final portfolio comes from Erin at The Travel Copywriter. She again uses visuals – much like the graphic I showed you at the start of this post – to create a sense of authority: And to create less of a barrier between a potential clients and buying from her, she’s added excerpts of her articles with additional links to grab attention: Your Portfolio, Then… You can see in all the above samples that they aren’t anything special. They don’t sing and dance, they just provide the information that’s needed. So don’t worry about needing a big ol’ website full of widgets. Just create a space – using a site builder or WordPress or your own domain – and put your work online. But, What If I Don’t Have Portfolio Pieces? Great question. If you’re getting started you won’t have anything that even resembles a portfolio yet. And that’s okay, I’m going to show you how to create a portfolio from scratch, with little to no effort. There are two steps to it. Step Start Your Own Blog Start a blog about your Niche and start writing it. Use different techniques, use different styles and start writing as though you’re creating for a huge audience. You don’t have to share it with anyone if you don’t want. You can have it on a private link for all that matters. But you do need to give people an opportunity to see your style in the context of your niche. Step Find Freelance Writing Jobs And Complete Their Tasks I used to use this method a lot when I first started writing. Because, it gives you something more tangible to work with. And, they can go on the blog you’re going to start. Head to one of the freelance writing jobs boards or content mills and find a job posting. It doesn’t matter if it’s current or expired. Look for one with a pretty specific description, like this one: Then just go ahead and create an article or piece to that specification and stick it on your blog. This process has two benefits: You get to experience what clients are looking for and work to specification You get to build out your portfolio with real-world examples You can even go the extra mile and screenshot the job and present it to a potential client you’re pitching too, so show what you’ve done. Anything that gets you noticed from the other freelancers that are entering the field. Okay, there’s another way you can pad out your portfolio and gain endorsements from people. That section deserves a whole section of it’s own… Guest Posts Guest Posting is my go-to strategy for building a profitable portfolio quickly. It gives you valuable experience working with someone who will publish your work. It also teaches you to work to guidelines, deliver to an audience and what it’s like to have your content published. For example, the guest post on Buffer that I mentioned earlier has brought me a tonne of emails like this: And having written for sites like Addicted2Success and Lifehack and got a decent amount of shares showed that I could write for a big, well developed audience too. Landing guest blog posts is a whole topic within itself. So when you choose this option, I’ll hand you over to this expert post from Venchito Tampon. Testimonials Testimonials are powerful pieces of information. In fact, 90% of consumers say that online reviews impact their buying decisions. So these glowing endorsements from people can play a huge part in this. This Step In Short There are three components you need to sell your online: Portfolio: Where potential clients can get a feel for your style, tone and the results your work can deliver. Guest Posts: Having an endorsement of your work on someone else’s site, even if only slightly relevant to your niche, can have a big impact on converting customers. Testimonials: These reviews of your work – from paying customers – can be the final blow in converting a client. Seeing a glowing recommendation can put their mind at ease and make them more likely to buy. You can build a portfolio yourself by just writing blogs for your niche, or by finding jobs and writing them for your own site to gain experience. Guest Posts can be obtained by following the link in that part of the section. Testimonials can come from anyone who has seen or used your writing and can be built up over time. The sooner you get someone to write one though, the better. Step Writing Pitches To Get You Clients Pitching is a numbers game – more on that in the next section – but you can create pitches that grab attention. In fact, I’m not only going to show you how to pitch: I’m going to give you my own pitching strategy that you can copy and paste for yourself. But first, let’s talk about what makes a good pitch… Pitching To The Right Person The first question about pitching is usually: Who do I pitch to? This is an important question because it can make or break whether you get spoken to or if you just get lost being passed around between departments in a company. If you’re applying for an advertised job this is usually posted, like in the footer of this posting here: But when you’re not it’s a little more difficult. There are three points of contact that you need to look for: Direct Email: The best you can find is a direct email. This is usually to an editor, marketing manager or content marketing executive. Department Email: There are often emails that go to someone in a department – marketing etc. – that you can get through to someone on. Contact Form: If there’s nothing else find a contact form under the ‘contact’ page on a site or a publication Email Tools: You can also use a tool like Hunter.io to help you find the most contacted emails for the site. And if you really can’t find anything you can use this sneaky little hack that I came up with. When you’re on a site that you want to get in touch with go to the footer where you’ll often find tabs like this: Click the Terms & Conditions tab (or Disclosure policy as it’s called here) and it’ll bring up a page full of legal jargon. A quick search of the page and you’ll be able to find and email contact, like this one right here: Gotcha. Now, you can pitch to someone in the company and find a way to the right person. Pitching 10 How To Stand Out From The Crowd Considering freelance writers are a group of individuals paid to write things…you suck at writing pitches. Sorry, it’s just the truth. Don’t worry, I did too. In fact, so did every freelance writer I know at one point or another. Because pitching is hard. You’re trying to convince someone to pay you instead of the hundred other people they could choose from. It’s a daunting proposition. That usually means your pitches go on far too long. They miss the point. Or, they’re too short for anyone to know why you’re even writing to them. But I’m about to give you a simple acronym to help you remember how to write a perfect pitch every single time. It goes like this: Personal Easy To Understand Top-loaded Accurate Lean Okay, it’s not exactly the most masculine acronym I’ve ever created, but I know you’ll never forget it. PETAL pitches are the best kind, because they’re guaranteed to get responses. I’ve taught them to lots of writers and they’ve always come good. Let’s break them down: Personal Personal is simple. When you’re writing to someone, you should address them by their name. This will normally be the prefix in their email (‘james’@pitchtome.com) or on their job description. If that’s not available I’d suggest you opt for a “Hey Guys”, or “Hi Team” because it sounds a lot more personal than just “Hello”. Easy To Understand The people you’re pitching to often receive a lot of emails. So you need to be clear, concise and focused on why you’re writing to them. Especially if you’re cold pitching to someone who doesn’t know they’re being pitched too. Basically you need to make sure nothing is lost in translation. I usually combat this by saying exactly why I’m writing to them. Like: My name’s James and I’m a freelance writer from Manchester, England. I’m writing to you to see if there was any room for a freelance writer on the Company X team? I think I’d be a perfect fit! Now they can make no mistake about why I’m in their inbox right now. Top-Loaded There’s a rule in Newspaper writing: Put the most important information at the top and put the least important at the bottom. Because newspaper editors cut the information from the bottom of the article. The exact same rule applies to pitching. Put the most important information at the top incase they don’t make it to the end of your pitch. You’ll see more on how that’s done in the copy and paste section next. Accurate You need to state what you’ve done. Where you’ve worked. Provide information that’s relevant to the job you’re pitching for. And, any additional information that’s required. Lean As a writer it’s normal for you to…waffle on. You know, write more than is necessary. It comes with the nervousness with a pitch. But follow this rule for writing your pitches and you’ll be fine (this is stolen from Winston Churchill): A good pitch should be like a skirt; short enough to be interesting long enough to cover the subject. The 100% Golden Rule Of Pitching You Must Obey If you disregard everything else you learn about pitching in this article please remember this simple rule: Read the job description. When you’re pitching for an advertised job there will be part thrown in there to keep you on your toes. Specific requirements that will affect you getting the job or not. The most common form of this is them asking you to put something in the pitch to prove that you read it. Like this job pitch where I had to put two specific words in the subject line: So make sure you go through everything with a fine tooth comb before you send anything. Copy and pasting is great, but not if it loses you a job. The Copy And Paste Pitch Template Okay, so that’s how you should be pitching to get clients. But I’m about to save you a lot of time by giving you a fill-in-the-blanks pitch for you to use. You can edit this however you want but it is a sure-fire template that will help you land clients: But James, What About The Headline? I didn’t forget, I promise. I’ve tested a lot of different headline techniques and I’ve found two that work, at least for getting people to reply to your emails. The first, if you’re applying for an advertising job is to put a simple subject like this: But if you’re making a cold pitch, the undisputed best headline in my experience – and that of other writers I speak to – is to ask a question in your headline. I can’t tell you why this works, but it seems to be really effective. Toy around and find your own unique stamp. Play with headlines and ideas to see what’s going to get you the most return. Okay, you’re getting on to the final section, are you ready? This Step In Short People are pitching to your potential clients all the time so you need to craft pitched that make you stand out from the crowd. To do that, remember this (manly) PETAL acronym: Personal: Written directly to someone; in a conversational but professional tone. Easy To Understand: Be clear about what you’re writing or pitching to them for, and why they should care. Top-Loaded: Put the important information at the start and make it less important as you go down the pitch. Accurate: It should fit you, your niche, the job description and what your capabilities are. Lean: Short enough to be interesting; long enough to cover the subject. Always remember to read the job description and edit your pitch to fit the specific client you’re talking to. Ask questions in your headline, or reference the job listing, to get the best open rates. Step Setting The Right Price Let’s talk money. I’ve purposely saved this until last because it’s the most highly debated topic in freelancing. And, I want to make sure it get’s the coverage it deserves. But, I’m not going to spend too long telling you about it. Why? Because, regardless of the arguments for and against what your prices should be, it comes down to you. Let me explain… First, It’s About What You Want To Charge… More to the point it’s about what you feel comfortable charging. When you first step onto the scene you probably won’t feel like you can charge $100; you’ll not have the portfolio to back it up, either. So don’t charge it. If you feel comfortable charging $10, charge that. Then up it when you feel comfortable charging $20 and $30 and $40 and so on. But do remember you have to put food on the table and you need to respect your time. After all, you can’t get it back. I started at $10 and hour, and I now comfortably charge $60-$100+ an hour depending on the project. Secondly, Don’t Worry About Pricing Out One of the best lessons I learned came from the team at Nifty Marketing. In this post they share how they set themselves a minimum that they refuse to budge on to attract the calibre of client that they wanted. Set a minimum price that you will not go under by any stretch of the imagination. It can be whatever you think it needs to be, but don’t just take work for the sake of it. Respect yourself and be proud of what you will work for, as well as what you wont. Thirdly, It’s About Negotiation… Always be open to negotiation. Now if you have a minimum prices, that’s the lowest point you can negotiate to. But also be open to negotiations on different things. For example, let’s say you pitch $50 an hour and your minimum is $30, you have $20 wiggle room to negotiate with there. There’s nothing wrong with having different prices for different clients on different projects. It’s the way the freelance world works. Different Pricing Structures There are a couple of ways that you can charge client with freelance writing. Hourly Rate This is exactly what it says on the tin; the price you’ll charge per hour. This can chop and change depending on the client, too. It’s not unusual to charge $30 for one client and $50 for another, because the jobs come with different specifications and require different levels of effort. And, as you saw in the last point, you need to be open to negotiation. I’m terrible at Math, so the simple way I use to work out an hourly rate is: How many words per hour How much research is needed The average price of work in that niche For example if you have an easy, stream-of-consciousness style article in the Self Help niche. That would charge less because you can get 1,200 words out an hour on that, you don’t need as much research and you can wrap it up in just a few hours. Also, the payment in that niche is lower. But if you have a really niche, in-depth topic, that requires a lot of research – like SEO or Engineering – you would charge more. Why? Because not only would you be writing less per hour, you’ll be spending a lot more time writing and referencing. You’ll also have to block out a bigger chunk of your day to do it. The price per hour is also dependant on your experience. If you’re an established expert you can charge more than if you were the new kid on the block. Price Per Word We don’t mess about with the clarity of our titles in writing do we? Price Per Word is one of the most common pricing strategies. I use it for almost all of my articles, especially on those longer articles – like this one – because it often works out fairer for you and the client. And, it’s easier to pitch. When a client hears 15 cents per word it sounds better than $150 for 1000 words. I use a similar system to the above for working this out. If you’re productive you can really increase what you earn per hour. Price Per Project This is a standard pricing package for small businesses and copywriting clients. For example, when I created the copy on this training company website, I set a fixed price for all of the content: I find the price per project is normally based on your hourly rate, the hours you’re expected to work and a negotiation with the client. You can create a lot of ‘savings’ benefits here for a client, too. Where it feels like you’re doing more work and saving them money. Negotiated Prices Each client and project has it’s own specific needs. So, it pays to have a flexible option where people can talk to you and you will flesh out a price together for the work that needs to be done. This works on a per-client basis. Getting Paid There are a number of ways you can get paid, too. This is usually when you bill out when you receive money: 100% Up Front: This requires a built up level of trust but once that’s established it’s easy to employ. 50% Up Front: Clients are often open to this method – 50% up front, 50% on completion – because the risk is lower. Upon Completion: I don’t usually employ this method unless it’s per word pricing or with a client that I really trust. Because you can retain the rights to the article until they pay, there is also the option to keep it and sell it on if you do get stiffed. Insider Tip: The Subscription Payment Model Okay let me lay a little bit of insider knowledge on you: Clients are sometimes flaky. They’ll need six articles one month, two the next, disappear for a couple of weeks, come back with more work than you can handle and then drop off the map forever. That’s just the nature of the beast. Not all clients are like this, but there is always a level on inconsistency. But there is a way you can make it more consistent and guarantee yourself an income. You just need to employ a subscription model. With every client that that likes this model they agree to: A fixed number of hours or articles per month For a set price To be paid at either 100% or 50% up front For a fixed-term (three, six, nine months) That way you are definitely getting paid and you have guaranteed work every month. Clients are usually pretty responsive to this model too so don’t be afraid to pitch it. This Step In Short Setting the right price is personal to you. There is no right or wrong price to charge. Just what you feel comfortable charging, the value you offer and where you’re positioned in your niche. But, as a rough guide, I’d suggest these prices: Beginner: $20-$30 per hour / $0.05 per word – $0.10 per word Intermediate: $35-$50 per hour / $o.15 – $0.20 per word Expert: $50+ per hour / $0.25 – $0.50+ per word Look to employ a subscription payment model, or a 50% up front model when you’re negotiating with a client to make sure you get paid. Step The Extras You Need To Know About In this step I want you to explore some of the ways to improve and refine your business. And, learn about other technical aspects of the job. Project Briefs Every piece of work will come with a brief. Sometimes that can be professional and in the shape of guidelines, like this: Or it’ll be in a brief document like this (text covered, just in case): There are also times where you’ll be asked to create the project brief. Or, it’ll come in the form of an email chain or a written on a napkin or something illegible you have to decipher for yourself. But it’s essential that before you start on a project you create a clear brief for you and the client. Point out what it is you believe you should be delivering and if that is in line with what the client wants. There is nothing worse – for you and a client – than going in blind and hoping you hit the target. It’s a waste of time and effort. Ask as many questions as you need to and go into as much detail as possible. The clearer the picture the better the end product. Offering Revisions I don’t recommend offering any more than two rounds of revisions. Why? Because you’re a good writer. And you’re crafting articles or content based on what an audience wants. You’ve done you research and you’ve decided this is the content that is going to work. You do have to pay attention to what the client is saying and offer some changes based on what they ask for. But by the same token you have to respect your time and the decisions you’ve made. As long as the article is in line with the above revisions and the thoughts laid out in the plan, then you’re fine to only offer limited revisions. Invoicing I didn’t know this when I first started out, you may not have either, but there are minimum legal requirements for an invoice that you need to meet. More than just slapping what you did and your price on a sheet of paper or in a document and sending it across. If you’re creating your own invoices follow one of these links to see what requirement your country has (English speaking countries only): United Kingdom United States Canada Australia New Zealand But I highly recommend using a service like FreshBooks to manage your invoices. You can just input the client data, send it across, and the rest of it is taken care of for you. They also come with a tonne of different payment options too: Contracts / Terms & Conditions A contract can come in many forms and has to be made up of certain criteria, like this one from HMRC in the UK: Contracts will sometimes be sent to you to be signed, others will be be an email correspondence or done through a Skype call. And, there is a good chance you will never have to enforce a contract, but you should have one in place. They cover your back; make sure you get paid the right amount for the right amount of work; cover your client and make your business more professional. Much like a project brief, be clear in: What’s being done When it’s being done by How much it’s going to cost What the end product will look like What you’re offering For example, you could do all of this in one sentence: “Hey Matt, So I’ll going to be writing How To Become A Freelance Writer Online, it’s going to be 10,00o-15,000 words at the rate we agreed for the last article, and I’ll have it done by April th, is that correct? Cheers, James” They accept it. You’re covered. It’s that simple. Recommended Reading & Development Phew! Okay, onto the last bit now. Like I said right at the start of the article, you don’t need any qualifications to become a writer. But there’s a lot you can read and practice on to become a better writer and create stronger, more impactful content. Here’s some of my biggest recommends: Write To Sell – Andy Maslen: Probably the best book on Copywriting I’ve ever read. It’s not long, but it’s really in-depth and clears up a tonne of questions you have early on. On Writing – Stephen King: If you’re trying to create content with a story feel to it, this book is an endless supply of hints and tips to create them. Made To Stick – Chip & Dan Heath: Amazing for finding out how to write and create articles that people remember. Wrapping It Up… I hope by now you have a clear picture of what it takes to be a freelance writer and how to start your business the right way. It may seem overwhelming at first, but it really is as simple as choosing one of these steps and taking action until completion. As Matt often says, “Keep it simple, stupid”, and it’s a motto that works here too. And if you want to take all of the information from this article and learn how to put it into action, you can also take my free email course where I’ll show you a simple trick to help you get your business to $1000 per month. You can sign up here. The Ultimate Guide To Freelance Writing Jobs For Beginners [2018] was originally published on Matthew Woodward

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parf-fan · 5 years

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Followup: Blackfryars!

Mount Hope, I’m begging you. 👏 Hire 👏 a 👏 copy 👏 editor. 👏

As always, visit the Faire’s website for headshots

Estelle Angrist : Millicent Goodnestone – Apprentice Stone-Carver

Inside every stone is a piece of art, so says Millicent. All you need to do is listen to the rock and take away the unnecessary pieces. Now, the artistry comes in the patience with which one removes the extra bits of stone. Patience, hammer, chisel, and a light touch are all that are required. Otherwise, a good piece of stone can become a dust pile very quickly. Thank goodness today is a festival day, because Millicent has been sweeping piles of dust for a while.

Alessandra Appiotti : Bernadette Albright – Matchmaker

The shire is being visited by the World’s most famous Bachelorette: Queen Elizabeth! If Bernadette can find the one for Queen Elizabeth, she will go from rising star to full-on supernova! She’d better get started lining up eligible bachelors! Or Bachelorettes! She hasn’t met Her Majesty yet, so who is she to judge her tastes?

Andréa Barton : Lady Blanche Parry – Lady in Waiting

This devoted Lady has served the Queen from the time our monarch was in nappies! They are boon companions, sharing court life and all its intrigue and frivolity. While she may look like the marzipan on the cake, her skilled organization of the Queen’s library and fondness for a good jest keeps her wit sharp enough to cut like a knife. Just ask the fool that attempts to play with her heart strings or guitar strings!

Kristin Bauer : Frances Newton, Lady Cobham – Lady in Waiting

Lady Cobham is thrilled to be on progress with the Queen. After all, this busy mother needs some time with the Ladies. With her soft nature and quick smile, she can often times be found with the children of the Shire, telling stories, rhymes, riddles, and playing games. Her sense of mirth does not leave her without a streak of mischief, as she does love to put her finger in the pot, give it a stir, and see what happens! Naughty or Nice? You be the judge!

Lauralette Bernard : Tolly Muneford – Harbor Master

Nothing comes in or out of the shores of Mount Hope that Tolly doesn’t know about. Her web of knowledge reaches far and wide, and she does it all in the service of the Shire. If only she wasn’t so keen on sharing all this knowledge with literally everyone, she might be able to use it for personal gain.

Jennifer Blackwell-Yale : Emily O. Bales – Fire Brigade

It has been 15 years since a monarch last visited the Shire of Mount Hope. Coincidentally, it has also been 15 years since the last fire in the shire of Mount Hope. Emily is always ready for action, but no one is quite sure she would know exactly what to do should action arise. When in doubt: stop, drop, roll, and have some wine. It seemed to work out just fine for the Old Dun Cow!

Karen Rose Bitzer : Rosie DuLait – Milkmaid

This milkmaid typically spends her day milking the cows and goats on the farm; carefully churning the butter; separating the curds from the whey; making the precious cheese to sell at market; all the time, singing and talking to her fine, generous, milk-laden friends! Is it any wonder that Rosie’s dairy products are highly sought for their sweet, creamy nature? It is even said that her happy cows seem to prance in the fields, as if dancing to a jig. Is that even possible? With Rosie, one never knows! Today she was up early: the Queen is expected and she wants to offer the sweetest cream and the finest butter to lay upon the Queen’s table.

Tabitha Borges : Abigail Montgomery – Governess to the Lady Mayor

Abigail has always had a way with children, and has taken care of all the Lady Mayor’s progeny, which means she is quite resilient! Of the many duties, trials, and tribulations the Penburthys have put her through, her favorite activity is still telling stories, and she is a masterful storyteller. Now that the Penburthy children, Calvin, Penelope, and Danforth, have all grown up, she is experiencing Empty Nest Syndrome far more than Delores is!

Elizabeth Burkholder : Paraffin Dyson – Bellows-Mender

Paraffin is a fan. She is a fan of fans. Her bellows will blow you away, that’s how big of a fan she is. Sometimes she can be a bit of a blowhard, but usually she can play it cool. And yet, even the coolest of bellows-menders may have a difficult time not having a meltdown with our Queen on the Shire. Time will tell if Paraffin maintains her composure or has a blowout, but one thing is for sure; she will certainly enjoy this festival day!

Jasmine Crist : Mary Robin Richland – Shire Ne'er-Do-Well

Every shire has one, ours is Mary Robin! While good-natured and always seen with a smile, it is known that one must keep a hand on your purse and an eye on your goods, for you may come up short when the back side of Mary Robin you see! Slight of hand, quick of feet, and always with a jest to share, it is her good nature and sharp wit that keeps her just on this side of the law, for now! It has been heard that she has high aspirations, but for what? Ask her, she may or may not share!

Ashley Crowther : Ira Roth – Actuary

Everyone’s heard of mad scientists, but a mad actuary? That’s much rarer. If you stare at numbers all day long, apparently they start staring back. Eventually, everything starts to look like a ledger, and you can see the numbers everywhere. Sure... that adds up...

Josh Dorsheimer : Jakob Werner – Landsknecht

Professional mercenaries fight the wars of the Kings of Europe. Professionals like Jakob. He does his level best to never think about any of that, though! He would rather spend his time gallivanting around town, spending his hard-won gold on drink, friends, and frivolity. The oldest of the family, Jakob is sometimes mistaken as the decision-maker of the clan. While he won’t outright deny this, the three siblings all know who really calls the shots: their baby sister!

Elisia Freeman : Agnes Lambourne – Apple-Monger

Apple cider, apple butter, apple sausage, apple crisp, apple cake.... Just ask this happy-go-lucky lady what you can do with all those apples, and she will tell you! Be prepared, her list is LONG! Apple juggling, apple carving, apple tossing, apple dicing, apple bocci. Do not be fooled, she knows that man does not live by apples alone; everyone knows you need a little cinnamon and a lot of laughter!

Corey Graff : Wagner Werner – Landsknecht

Wagner travels all over Europe fighting battles with his brother and sister for one reason: he loves them both dearly. Honestly though, he would much rather be laying down in a meadow watching butterflies. Sometimes suffering from middle child syndrome, Wagner’s gadabout ways certainly make life interesting for all the Werner siblings.

Steve Hager : Rip Skeleton – Gravedigger

There are two things certain in this world: Death, and Taxes – and Rip ain’t no accountant. Its always nice to have a friendly face build your final resting place.

Jeremiah Halteman : Ronald P. Eversmeyer – Yeoman Guard

They say history is written by the victors. Ronald has every intention of ensuring that our good Queen’s name goes down in the history of the world as the greatest victor of them all! He is always prepared to put himself between Her Majesty and danger, wherever it comes from, in whatever form it takes, and at any personal sacrifice! His extensive training in the art of personal security has rendered him one of the elite of the yeoman guard; as long as Her Majesty is not attacked from the air. Unfortunately, Ronald has a fear of butterflies. Something about the wings just throw off his rhythm, but no worries....butterflies in Mount Hope? Never!!

Jonathan Heise : Sir John Giffard of Chillington, Minister of Parliament, Knight – Nobleman

This Minister of Parliament felt it his duty to be present during the Queen’s progress at Mount Hope. Concerned that perhaps this tiny village would not be up to the task of hosting our Queen, he would be quick to move the festivities to Chillington. Upon arrival he realized his foolish mistake; never had he seen such a shire, and thought perhaps ‘twas time to move Chillington to Mount Hope! However, for now, why not enjoy the festivities?

Brianna E. Holmes : Mary Hill, Lady Cheke – Lady in Waiting

This gentlewoman of the Privy Chamber is well loved by all. Her husband, John Cheke, a gentleman of the court, encourages her in her service of the Queen. The Queen has blessed them often with gifts, grants, and an estate or two. Even at this show of opulence, Lady Cheke takes it all in stride. She finds joy in the simple things in life; her children, her rose garden, and her love of arachnids. Their homes, their legs, and loving little eyes; can you ever have enough? I think NOT says Lady Cheke.

Anastasia Keno : Louise Weaver – Shepherdess

A diligent if mischievous shepherdess, Louise has a passion for all things fluffy! Why should sheep be the only animals allowed to graze free? Let the cats graze free! Let the puppies graze free! Let the mice graze free! Free the animals! Sorry... she can be very passionate.

Jennifer Litzinger : Cherie Piquant – Spice Merchant

If the first pinch of salt is free, be prepared to pay dearly for everything else. A shrewd business woman, do not let Cherie’s smile fool you. She was born to barter, and barter she will! Well-known on the shire as the woman who can get what you need, do not be afraid to ask; as long as its cinnamon, cloves, turmeric, or cardamom, by day’s end, it will be in your kitchen. Ask for a song, and you could be in for a treat.

Dana Micciché : Katherine Champernowne, Lady Kat Ashley – Lady in Waiting

Appointed governess, tutor, friend, and confidante, Lady Kat Ashley ensured that her Queen had all the necessary tools to rule England. Well versed in astronomy, geography, history, Latin, Spanish, Italian, and Flemish, this unassuming woman is also trained in the art of swordsmanship, axe-throwing, archery, and caber tossing! Think you know a little about a lot? Lady Kat knew it first!

Traci Mohl : Olivia Charnwood – Huntress

The family tradition of hunting and tracking lives on in the guise of Olivia. Like her mother and grandmother before her, ear to ground, sniffing the air; hunting prey is in her blood. Mount Hope’s finest archer, Olivia never fails to bring home the meat – just don’t ask her to cook it!! On this festival day, she plans on showing off her tracking skills by sniffing out a merry time!

Beverly Newton : Charlotte Seaswift – Shipwright

This buoyant aquatic engineer helps keep the Harbor of Mount Hope afloat. An eye for design and a passion for innovation drive Charlotte. She knows that the fine line between sink and swim is just a patch away, and she is always ready to keep things floating on.

Jared Nocella : Miles I. Gore – Professional Henchman

Some people are natural born leaders. Miles is not one of those people. Miles is a natural born lackey, and he’s the best there is at being second fiddle. Always down for doing the dirty work, and he does it dirt cheap! Miles is a sidekick with a smile and has a flare for following.

Alexandra Pentz : Dorte Werner – Kampfrau

The youngest of the Werner siblings, but make no mistake: she is the one that keeps the family together. From designing the boys’ clothes, managing the family finances, and fighting her share of battles, she is as clever as she is dangerous. And after all that, she still has the ability to be the most mischievous of the three!

Lianna Pike : Rosalind Anne Uxbridge – Gardener

Rosalind has had her hands deep in dirt, up to her elbows, preparing for the Royal visit. The gardens must be perfect! Simple details like stone placement can be so critical, yet every time she plants, those chipmunks and rabbits have a feast . That is why Rosalind has a bed in all of her garden plots. She sleeps in a different flower bed each night. Thank goodness the festival is finally here, she can finally get out of the beds and enjoy the beauty of her work with the rest of the shirefolk.

Nicolas Rainville : Grayson Thomas Hemplewhite – Squire to the Master of Horse, Sir Robert Dudley

What an honor to serve the horse that carries the saddle that seats the man who serves the Queen so closely! To say that Hemplewhite is a hard worker is putting it mildly. His work is never done. Clean the tack, muck the stall, check the hooves; not to mention ensuring that Tinker, the horse, is always sweet-smelling for his Master to ride. But today is a festival day. Tinker smells sweet, now its time for Hemplewhite to have a bit of merriment.

Jessica Reesor : Holly Teacake – Baker

Everyone likes sweets at a festival, and Holly has made sure the shire is stocked with confections to please any palate. Fruity, chocolatey, savory – whatever your taste, Holly has you covered! An obsessive planner, Holly loves the order of a recipe. It is a mathematical equation for pleasing people. If only everything else was that simple!

Laura Reesor : Pearl Topstitch – Tailor

A visionary designer with an eye for style. Never satisfied with the same-old same-old; when something works once, she’s done with it! Her appetite for new and exotic is matched only by her skill. She can look at a piece of fabric and see the hidden...pearl...of genius within. Now it is time to show off her skills to the Queen.

James Riley : Adam Cringer – Yeoman Guard

A newly-minted member of the Yeoman Guard following in the footsteps of his grandfather and father before him. Legend of Adam’s monster-hunting exploits have already preceded him. Now it is time to see if the man can match the Legend.

Victoria Sangston : Dorothea Anne Heartley – Etiquette Mistress

Today is a big day for the shire of Mount Hope, and the Lady Mayor has tasked Mistress Heartley with making sure everyone puts their best foot forward. Of course, is that the right foot or the other right foot? Joyfully surveying the shirefolk, she knows everyone will be on their best, smiling, bowing, hat tipping, formal greeting behavior – or else!

Michael Sheffield : John Dee – Royal Astrologer

A good ruler has good advisors. Time will tell what kind of advisor John Dee will be. He says he talks to angels. Perhaps he does. Perhaps he’s just a brilliant con man. One thing is for sure – eccentric only scratches the surface of describing this stargazing man.

Jessie Smith : Polly Lynne Pickering – Apprentice Rag-picker

Polly Lynne has been following in her mum’s footsteps for as long as she can remember. Mum does have a keen eye for bits and pieces, but Polly Lynne is impatient! When she is THE Rag-Picker, she will be much more efficient! Would anyone REALLY notice if a bit was snipped off a gown here and there? Bushes and scissors are a picker’s best friend. She has heard of the fine fabrics worn by the Nobles of the court and is hoping to snip.... errrr....snag a piece or two of those fabrics for herself!

Mary Smith : Penelope Ann Pickering – Rag-picker

Some call it rag-picking, but Penelope prefers to call it fabric repurposing opportunities. Opportunities abound in the shire of Mount Hope, all you have to do is look around! And look she does!! With a keen eye for bits of fabric, lace, gossip, and good will, she has a kind word for everyone and perhaps a bit of scrap for those in need; and, really, who doesn’t need a bit of scrap now and then? And now, with the training up of Polly Lynne, she’s busy busy busy! Thank goodness for the Festival. Mirth, merriment, and fabric scraps!

Evelin Stayner : Buttercup M. Rosehips – Scullery Wench

This young lady is happy when surrounded by a pile of dirty anything. Beginning, middle, end! That is where she finds her joy. Every day has its adventures, and they all start when the sun comes up and last throughout the day. You may find her dancing, singing, or generally making herself an asset to the Shire of Mount. Hope. Some might even call her a fledgling pillar of society; probably more like a fence post. But everybody has to start somewhere!

Katrin Stayner : Eva Froman – Sausage Queen of the Shire

Blessed with infinite patience, and a lithe mind to keep up with her husband. The Fromans are nouveau riche, and happy to flaunt it. Eva is the true brains of the operation. Her wurst is the best, and her husband is the best at being the worst. [the Sausage King is being played by one of the improv directors who doubles as an independent act.]

Jordan Taft : Dorothy "Dottie" Brooke – Lady in Waiting

This Maid of Honor is a seasoned Lady of the court. Certainly Lady Dorothy has done it all, seen it all, and has the bodice to prove it. However, Mount Hope intrigues her. After all, it is time for her to settle down and have a family of her own, and the matchmaker of the Shire is famous throughout the land. She may leave here betrothed, or at least,with several good prospects. Love is in the air, or, is that TURKEY???

Robyn Thompson : Fiona Erin O'Donald – Personal Foot Post of the Lady Mayor

When Fiona came to Mount Hope, the first person she met was the Lady Mayor, who had just lost her third foot post in six months. Fiona needed a job; she had no idea what a foot post was, but she knew she could do it! She is Irish after all! As it turns out, she is the best foot post the Mayor has ever had!! Messenger, she’s the Lady Mayor’s personal messenger!

Sandi Trait : Becky Billingsly – Town Crier and Lady Mayor’s Official Letter-Opener

Becky Billingsly, the voice of the shire, knows full well the weight her proclamations carry. As Official Letter Opener for the Lady Mayor, she is at the forefront of all the news that is news in the shire. Of course, nothing beats today’s happenings! The young Queen makes her way to the gates of Mount Hope. How thrilling to share her news and tidings with the court of her Majesty!

Ariel E. Urich : Kathryn Bridges – Lady in Waiting

This Maid of Honor is on her first progress with the Queen. She has lived her entire life in training for this very time and now that it is here, she realizes that something is missing. She knows how to carry the cup with grace and style; the basket is a simple matter; smiling at the proper time, sitting, standing. So, what is the problem? She has this deep desire to make people laugh! So far, she has shared a bit of her talent with the Ladies of the Court, but perhaps this small shire is where she can be a bit more free with her jests and merriment. Oh, the festival day could not get here soon enough!

Brianna Yale : Lydia der Schlachter – Butcher

Leaving home to work for the Fromans was a tough decision but one she is happy she made. Butchering brings her such delight. From the time she begins to sharpen her blade to the beauty of well-cut chop, this butcher knows her way around a slab of beef, pork, and lamb. However, never ask her for a capon! She has been squeamish since the capon incident of 1552. Enough of that! This is a festival day, and she plans on celebrating with the shire folk and perhaps even catching a glimpse of the new Queen.

Darrell E. Yoder : Sylvan Farelight – Tinker

If it needs mending, this is the man to do it. If it needs replacing, step right up, he has it. If you need a bit of magic in your life, having Sylvan on the streets ensures that your needs will be met! Always popular when he arrives on shire; Sylvan can be counted on to share a bit of news from afar; a bit of wisdom from within; and a bit of magic from, well, from where magic comes from!

To the newcomers, welcome! To those returning, welcome back!

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ashleysouniqueblog · 6 years

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A Guide on “How To” Habana

If you came across this blog post, you may already have found out that planning a trip to Cuba from America is not the easiest task. There is not much information online and the information that is online conflicts. This may be since some of the information is 4-5 years old and things there are in the development stages. I too had a hard time finding information and this is what made me determined to pass on real experiences and suggestions.

My trip to Havana, Cuba was a full 3 days, from Thursday to Sunday. I planned this trip for myself along with 12 others. So here are some key takeaways:

1. Flights: In order to a book a flight to Cuba from America you have to fall into one of the 12 OFAC Categories. All airlines require you to choose one before being allowed to book the flight. Make sure that you choose correctly as you will be asked again when it’s time to check in and when you land in Cuba. Also, Visas must be purchased at check in or at the gate they can range anywhere from $20 to $100 depending on the airline and departure city.

· Visiting family

· Humanitarian projects or to provide support to the Cuban people

· Official business of the U.S. government, foreign governments and certain intergovernmental organizations

· Journalistic activities

· Professional research

· Educational activities by persons at academic institutions

· People to people travel

· Religious activities

· Public performance, clinics, workshops, athletic or other competitions and exhibitions

· Authorization to provide travel services, carrier services and remittance forwarding services

· Activities of private foundations, research or educational institutes

· Exportation of certain Internet-based services

2. Housing: Booking an Airbnb instead of staying in a hotel falls under OFAC “Support for The Cuban People” also if you do choose to stay in a hotel make sure it is not on the U.S. Department of State Restricted List. Quality Airbnb’s tend to get booked quick so make sure you are giving yourself time to life the life you want to while in Cuba. Make sure you communicate with the house host as some houses have strict rules. For example, you may not be able to bring outside food or drinks into the home, no guests can come to the house, no parties, no loud music, men may not be able tot sleep in the same room, etc.

Due to my group of people being over 10 people the options we had for Airbnb’s were off the back limited as we later found out that the city does not accommodate large groups very well. Furthermore, I found an Airbnb called “Blue Mansion Hostel My Way”. This home had none of the house rules as above and the host was more than accommodating while communicating with me before I booked. La Casa Blue Mansion Airbnb pictures does not do this house any justice. This house was beautiful and huge we had more than enough space!! Online it says that there were double beds in most rooms then 6 single beds split between 2 bedrooms. When we got there the single beds were Queen sized and the double beds were King sized. Everyone in my group had their own bed, and even some had their own room. Every bedroom had separate bathrooms and ample towels etc. There was 24/7 security, house cooks and waitstaff were on standby for whatever you may need, or request. This is a very clean family house and it has a very cultured feel. My group spent a lot of time in the many patio areas around the pool or in the bar club area that also had a pool table. We were very pleased.

3. Currency: Visa, Mastercard, American Express or any other debit/credit card is not accepted in Cuba so bring enough cash with you for your entire trip. US dollars is hit with an extra conversion penalty and lose value dramatically is you convert directly from USD to CUC. Therefore, we converted USD to EUR prior to our flights, then converted from EUR to CUC once we landed in Cuba.

Cuba has 2 currencies: CUC and CUP. You should always get CUC as it is more widely accepted, and CUC has the higher value. For instance, CUC is 1 to 1 to USD/EUR/CAD (roughly), while CUP is 1 to 25 USD/EUR/CAD. CUC is what we seen prices in tourist areas listed, while businesses that displayed CUP were in neighborhoods. Of course, food was cheaper in neighborhoods.

How much to bring? We were there for 3 days converted between $500-1,000 USD and once the trip was over we pretty much converted most of it back. It’s safe to bring more than what you’ll expect to spend just in case. Also, if you save your receipt from exchange centers in the airport, within 30 days they allow you to convert back without a fee at the same rate you purchased.

4. Airport Experience: When you first land in Cuba, you will be outside and will walk into the building. The customs agents and TSA are 90% women. Their uniforms are quite interesting as the military style miniskirts and black fishnet stockings fit very sexy. I was pleasantly surprised. Waiting on baggage claim was okay until my bag was literally the last one out on the belt and the moment I grabbed it, agents wanted me to step to a table on the side for an extra check. The bag that I checked was actually school supplies that I was planning to give to the kids at a school near our Airbnb. They were speaking Spanish and I only caught on to key words like “violation”. I was started to wonder why? There was nothing I brought that was against the law, just folders, composition notebooks, crayons, markers, and chalk. As they checked the pages on the notebooks they had all my friends who were waiting close the door come back to scan all of our bags through a metal detector. Shortly after, they let us go. Weird.

5. Airport Transportation: We booked airport transportation through our house because several of us took different flights and landed at different times. The house had someone waiting with a sign at every single one of our flights. Airport Taxis literally wait in the airport line all day to get someone who is going into the city, not from one terminal to the other. So, keep that in mind for your departure date because it will be hard to find a ride from one terminal to another.

6. Taxis: Taxis in the city are cheap. You’ll be fine but ask how much before you ride off with them so that you aren’t shocked by the rate. We allowed our house to organize taxis to and from the city and club. We were dropped off at different meeting points and gave him a time to pick us up. He was always on time.

7. WiFi: Most American cell phone plans do not work in Cuba. So as soon as you touch down you most likely will not be able to contact anyone. Hotels and Wifi parks sell WiFi cards $2 for an hour of online activity. Two guys in my group found a park and waited in a long line to get one. The rest of us did not see any of the WiFi parks. Some people were able to make calls from there cell at $2.49 a minute, but they could not receive a call. We were there for 3 days so soon after we stopped worrying about being able to get on social media and focused on enjoying the time and people that were right in front of us. If you are anything like me, be prepared, plan ahead. Download Maps.Me and download the Havana, Cuba offline map. Also, take screen shots of restaurants, addresses, important information, flight information, etc. as it is very likely you will not have connectivity.

8. Giving back to the Cubano kids: I planned a school drive as a form of giving back to the Cuban kids. We all brought supplies we thought may be scarce or just needed to be replaced to give to them. With the help of our Airbnb host we were able to get the Principal of a local school (I will not name the school) to allow us into the school to give the kids supplies. They were happy children with big bright smiles in their uniforms. This warmed my heart.

9. Restaurants: Most dishes we found in Cuba of course were seafood. But you were able to find chicken, salads, and pizza as well. I won’t detail all of them but 2 in particular. There is the O’Reilly 304 Gin Bar and Restaurant. We were all completely amazed by the bartender and all of his concoctions of drinks. We also met the manager Julio we completely accommodated us and had a million stories to tell of U.S. celebrities who has stopped by his spot. One thing I must say is that we were wondering what was taking so long with our food and soon after Julio and another guy comes in with fresh veggies and a string line of fish just caught out the ocean! Not to mention the food was seasoned very well! Make sure you try the salsa for the plantains, you will not be disappointed. Another day we went to Del Mar beach but met at Rachon Don Pepe, a beach hut restaurant. There drinks were $2.50 each! If you find yourself in the area stop by and get the lobster tail and boiled shrimp with hot sauce! There is also a pinacoloda spot next door that will completely give you beach vibes.

10. Beaches: The most popular beach that everyone says to go to is Veradero. This beach is 3 hours out of the city. Planning this trip, I did not want to have to commute 6 hours for anything, so I did some research on other beaches and found Del Mar. ‘Playa Estes Del Mar” was absolutely perfect!!! We all fell in love from the moment we walked up a sand hill and got to the top and saw the crystal-clear water and warm smooth sand. If I could I would go back just to have another day on that beach.

11. Cuban People: I’m not sure if I just didn’t know what to expect Cubans to look like but they look like us! The country is full of beautiful black and brown people! I absolutely loved the looks. Everyone we encountered either did not say anything to us or was very nice and talkative. I believe they are just as curious of us as we are with them. A lot of Cubans are artists, I was not expecting so much beautiful art! If you have the chance stop by the market and bring extra cash to buy some timeless pieces of art and paintings.

12. Night Life: Our first night in town we went to a place by the name of “Mio y Tuyo”, drinks and food was cheap, and they had a good DJ with the videos to the songs playing in the background. We found out later that is place is someone’s home. They made the first floor of their home into a club. Cool right? Our second night, we went to “Fabrica de Arte Cubano”. This place is about 7 clubs in one big building with patios. Each club played a different type of music but all of them made you want to stop and dance. All throughout the building was a display of art from local artists, which I absolutely loved. The bartenders make all the drinks hand crafted and none of the mixers come from machine. Everything was from fresh ingredients. The 3rd night we were going to go to “Fantasy” but we ended up throwing a party for ourselves in our Airbnb club (the house seriously has its own club).

13. Tours: Book the Vinales Cigar rolling and Horseback riding tour, it’s an all-day tour but is worth it, so plan to have 1 full day of your trip there. If you are short on time as we were, there is a Cigar Factory and Rum tour in the city that is roughly 3 hours, and they are only open on weekdays. If you book an Airbnb, allow the house host to book the tours for you as they have direct contacts to these businesses. But I do recommend not to pre-book the old American car tours. Online prices were average $45 per person, while walking up to them and negotiating they quoted 60 CUC per car (split between 3-4 people in each car) for a city tour and to drop us off at a Restaurant in Del Mar (30-40min out the city).

14. Time is not of the essence in Cuba as it is in America. They are not in a rush to do anything. If you set a time for your taxi to pick you up and you are not ready they will wait on you. You cannot pay to skip the line at the club (trust me we tried to offer $$$), you must wait in line. There is no quick bite to eat as all the food is made to order and the drinks are handcrafted with detail. So, find some patience.

I hope my tips help you and yours enjoy your trip! Follow my group and our tags on IG: @AshleySoUnique @Wolf_of_Peachtree @DrCarlaMoore @Corrien3 @__Jayalessia @_miamor @_meaganh @Supreme.bliss @modernmillennia @teddy_atl @blkgrl_ashley @lala_kki @quinashai_chelette

#SomewhereInCuba #Travel #Habana #Havana #Cuba #Havanacuba #Habanacuba #blacktravel #travelisthenewclub #travelnoire #westaytraveling #weworktotravel #blacktravelfeed #blacktravelgram #jetsettingchicks #travelblacktakeover #travelandleisure

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