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perpetually-sad-but-its-fine · 1 year

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chicago pd 10x11

GUYS

IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE

I WANNA LEARN MORE ABOUT KEVIN

WE GET TO MEET HIS DADDDD

ahhhh

im so nervous

oh yippee

it start w/ a funeral

im already invested

‘its all politics kev’

‘okay, i hear you over there being a cynic’

but is she wrong kev?

is she wrong?

she's not

oh no

COME ON

KIM

THEY CANT LEAVE HER ALONE

and oh my god

chicago pd writers not ignoring the trauma that kim went through????

*gasp*

that's a first

‘its just too much caffeine’

‘mhm’

kev not buying her bullshit

i miss my patrol buddies

back when they were so innocent

‘i raise you, its a little bit of both’

‘mhm’

best buddies

ahhhhhh

KEV AND KIM GETTING TOGETHER AND SHARING THEIR FAMILY

I LOVE ITTTT

I WANNA SEE IT SO BADLY

ohhhh

this is his father isn’t it????

ITS HIS FATHER

OH MY GOD

I KNEW ITTTTT

I FUCKIN KNEW IT

aw no

im not prepared for this

aw kim looking out for kev and kev looking out for him

i love it so much

oh my god what the fuck

THAT CAR CAME OUT OF NO WHERE

OF COURSE IT STARTS SHOOTING

OF COURSE

my god

bro

come on

kev’s vest isn't even on properly

I DONT WANNA THEM TO GET HURT CUZ THEY DIDNT PUT ON THEIR VESTS PROPERLY

kev looking for his dad

im not prepared for this angst

please tell me he doesn't do something stupid and delete the photo

kev is a good cop

oh noooo

hes close to crying

noooooooo

my baby

my poor baby

‘for good behavior’

im excited to find out why that's such a surprise

kev doing his job like a good cop

we love to see it

oh no kev

what're you gonna do now???

IS HE GONNA TELL VOIGHT

ohhhh that poor boy

this poor child

i feel so bad for this kid

oh kim letting kev take the lead

we love to see it

KEVINS SO SWEET

hes so understanding

and i love him

so so so so so much

hes amazing

chicago pd please give kevin a good storyline

please give him a love interest that deserves him

please let him be happy

please

oh this big guy is gonna be kevin’s father i can feel it

oh nvm

torresssss

my bby

adammmmmm

my loveeeeeee

haILEY

SHES SO PRETTYYYYYYYY

im not okay

im not

BURZEK

my babies

please let them be okay this season

ohhhhh

this is gonna be an interesting conversation

kevin and adam and kim are besties

and i want them to spend more time together

‘i'll let you know, promise’

‘oookay?’

he says very confusedly but lets her go anyway

kim looKS SO FUCKIN GOOD

oh we love to see the patrol babies looking out for each other

voight and atwater

the father-son duo that we love

see, this is why i love kevin

hes a sweetheart who's doing his best

he recognizes when to lie and when to tell the truth

he knows the value of his job and doesn't want to unnecessarily endanger that just bcuz he doesn't like the truth of whatever’s happening

he has strict morals that he follows and he acknowledges that he makes mistakes and knows that he can improve

he also

doeSNT FUCKIN KEEP SECRETS FROM VOIGHT

FUCKIN EVERYBODY ELSE

FROM ANTONIO TO JAY TO HAILEY TO KIM TO VANESSA TO ADAM TO ERIN TO AL

E V E R Y O N E

HAS KEPT SOMETHING FROM VOIGHT

EVEN TORRES HAS

THE WHOLE THING WITH DETECTIVE DICK LAST EPISODE????

YEAH HE KEPT THAT FROM VOIGHT

KEVIN IS THE ONLY ONE

WHO

HASNT

LIED

VOIGHT

he deserves so much better

and ik for a FACT

that chicago pd writers are going to ruin his character

i fuckin know it

okay

back to me being dramatic about the show

now

voight is asking questions about kevin’s father and im interested

poor kevin

he deserves so much better

voight looking out for him is so sweet

‘ill tell ‘em’

is amazing

bcuz the team is his family

the family that he deserves

and the family that loves him

god im so nervous for this part

oH MY GOD

THEY HAVENT SAID ANYTHING

BUT IM ALREADY CRYING

ohhhhhh

im so scared for how this is gonna go

this conversation is unsettling to me

‘i know that's not the truth’

come on man

tell himmm

TELL HIM THE TRUTH

poor kevin

they keep hurting him

and me

i can't

kevin can never get a break can he?

thank you kevin’s father

oH SO NOW YOU WANNA ASK ABOUT JORDAN AND VANESSA???

NOW YOU WANNA ASK

oh mY GOD

laroyce hawkins is an amazing actor

that break in his voice kills me

oooo

this'll be fun

ITS ONLY FIFTEEN MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE AND SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED

oH MY GOD

THATS SO FUCKIN VIOLENT

HOLY SHIT

oh nooooo

thERES A BABY

THAT POOR CHILD

AWWWWW

I WANNA CRY WITH THIS KID

THIS POOR POOR BABY

aw kevin covering the child of this baby

im soft

'emphatic no’

we love to hear it

kevin

my poor sweet child

kim doing her best to distract kevin and then giving up and just straight up asked him

we love it

i wanna see kim and kev and adam go out for drinks and talk about the terrible shit that's gone on in their lives and i want kevin to be okay

i need it actually

god

im dying here

chicago pd writers need to stop hurting me

seriously

im too sensitive for this

oh no

his dad’s here isn't he

oh fuck you kevin’s dad

fuck you

how dare you

kevin still doing his job

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

kevinnnnnnn

im so sorry my love

kevin my dearest child

i must hold and comfort

i must

goddamnit kevin’s dad

you better be telling the truth

why do i feel like hes hiding something

GODDAMMIT KEVIN’S DAD

YOU WERENT EVEN THERE FOR MAJORITY OF HIS LIFE

YOU DID SOMETHING STUPID

AND THEN HIS MOM DIED

AND HE HAD TO RAISE VANESSA AND JORDAN

AND YOU WANNA PLAY THE GUILT CARD????

NAH MAN

YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF

‘do i look angry right now? i don't got time for that.’

mY POOR CHILD

stop this hurt

stop it

hes juST

I HATE THIS

SO MUCH

poOR KEVIN

adam and kevin

my loves

they are brothers

kevin

please

for the love of god

TALK TO ADAM

kev

the fuck are you doing

kevin

please

ik hes doing his job

but like

I DONT WANT HIM TO GET HURT

voight looking out for kev

again

I love it

THE USAGE OF HIS FIRST NAME

GODDAMMIT

torres

my boy

kev and dante

i love it

dante reassuring kevins father

idk how to feel about that

TORRES IS STEPPING UP

MY BOY

this meet is scaring me

oh wait

kevin’s father is telling the truth

oh my god

he was telling the truth

waIT

HOLD ON

OH MY GOD

SO HE WAS A GOOD FATHER??????

this meet isn't gonna end well

danteeee

ma boi

i love you

god

i love him so much

hes great

ilovehim

now i feel bad for kevin’s father

im not okay

aw my poor kevin

my poor child

my poor poor child

‘hm’

we love the communication guys

adam and kim

looking out for their brother

i want a heart to heart with them

but i also don't trust kevin’s dad

im conflicted

WHY WONT THEY MAKE KEVIN HAPPY

WHY

oh comE ON

thEY WERE STARTING TO TALK IT OUT

GODDAMMIT

STOP

I DONT LIKE THIS

*gasp*

waIT

IS KEVIN’S DAD GONNA DIE?????

I DONT WANT HIM TO DIE

I DONT LIKE HIME

BUT I DONT WANT HIM TO DIE

i dont like how this is playing out

kevin’s dad, tf are you doing man

torres

be smart

oh good god

im too scared to watch this

‘i get the whole story playboy’

bitch i will smack you

upton and ruzek in sync

thEY BOTH GOT OFF THE BENCH AT THE SAME TIME AND IN THE SAME WAY

I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW THAT

bruh what is this nonsense

whats happening

im noT READY

god

kevin’s dad is gonna die

i can feel it in my bones

they won't let kev be happy

they never will

goDDAMMIT

IM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

thiS IS SO INTENSE

AUGEVPIWE

IM NOT READY

trudyyyyy

my mother who raised me

i need more of her

ooooooo

ITS SO INTERESTING

come on

please don't kill kevin’s father

kevin

please tell me that youre thinking clearly

kim’s face just reads ‘somebody fucked with my best friend and they’re gonna die today’

and we love her for it

where the hell is kevin’s father

where is he

whERE

W H E R E

oh thank god

hes there

hes not dead (yet)

can't wait to see how this goes

‘i aint never seen him before in my life’

adorable

so believable

kevin’s dad

please

be reasonable

god

i can't handle this angst

I cannot

im not strong enough

nowhere near strong enough

god

please

this is K I L L I N G M E

kevin

please

im crying

im sobbing actually

my poor child

finally admitting his feelings

my poor baby

please

solve this

its too much

kevin’s dad please

im begging you

OH MY GOD

STOP IT

HIS VOICE IS CRACKING

AND IM BREAKING

I NEED HIM TO BE OKAY

oh shit

this is

stop

COME ON

THIS IS SO MUCH HURT

THE LOOK IN KEVINS EYES

THERE ARE TEARS

AND IM FULLY SOBBING

OH MY GOD

COM E O N

his voice

stOP

PLEASE

thiS IS NO LONGER A JOKE

IM FUCKIN SOBBING

PLEASE JUST GIVE KEVIN A LOVING FATHER

HE DESERVES IT

LAROYCE HAWKINS IS AN AMAZING FUCKIN ACTOR

AND HIS PERFORMANCE IS MAKING ME CRY

P L E A S E

SIR

kevin’s dad im so sorry i ever doubted you

please hug

please

cOME ON

‘it was too late, son’

im numb

i. feel. nothing.

THEY DIDNT EVEN HUG

GODDAMMIT

stop

PLEASE

THIS POOR CHILD

THIS POOR MAN

HE WAS FORCED TO GROW UP TO RAISE HIS SIBILINGS

AND HE LOST HIS FATHER

AND HIS MOTHER

AND HE HAD TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING

AND HES STILL NOT HAPPY?????

CHICAGO PD WRITERS

DO YOU ENJOY MY PAIN??????

ITS NOT FUCKIN FUNNY MAN

#*kissy kissy* watches chicago pd #chicago pd 10x11 #kevin atwter #chicago pd writers are the devil #kim burgess #hailey upton #dante torres #adam ruzek #hank voight

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spreadplaylist · 7 years

Conversation

SPREAD CH.2 ARTIST SPOTLIGHT - Taylor Jamison

Hi SPREAD listeners! I hope everyone has been having a meaningful Pride month while enjoying the PRIDE playlist! The featured artist off SPREAD CH. 2 is dear friend of mine and a force to be reckoned with. Get a glimpse below of Taylor Jamison's life as an unapologetic songwriter and artist. HERE WE GO!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Taylor: Hey hey, my name is Taylor Jamison and I’m a songwriter/singer right here in most-of-the-time-sunny Los Angeles! I’m originally from Boulder, CO, but have been living here in LA for a second now, writing for some amazing new artists, and creating some cool tunes under my name as well!

Dan: Hi Taylor! Welcome! I am so glad that u are PRIDE's featured artist. You are a songwriting beast who is constantly on the grind. I'm excited for people to hear about ur career and your thoughts about the industry, so let's get started.

Describe a typical day in the life of a songwriter. What do u enjoy the most about it?

Taylor: I’d say a typical day in the studio with me, at least, is catching up on life with whoever I’m working with, joking around, sharing funny moments of the week, usually someone has a good hook up/sex story as well. My favorite part is that, from these shared moments, a story unfolds itself. I see myself as a “Storyteller for the Ears,” so whether it’s myself singing the song or another artist, I love being able to share a moment/feeling in time through music and watching how people react to it.

Dan: I would say that u just perfectly summed up the reason songwriters do what they do! It's all about the story and the connection. In finding this connection for yourself, describe the place that makes you feel the most inspired creatively.

Taylor: I absolutely LOVE the beach because it’s so many things to me. Gentle, but powerful. Beautiful, with a dark side. Tranquil, yet full of energy. It makes me nostalgic for days passed, while making me think forward into the future. I love going out and laying by myself with a notebook, letting the sound wash over me until the words start falling out of my head onto the paper.

Dan: LA beaches are definitely hard to beat, too! I could use a beach day myself. It's a great way to reset and get those creative juices flowing. After running through all of those emotions we then get to the actual songwriting process. Now you have countless songs to ur name. Out of those, what song of yours are u most proud of? Why?

Taylor: Ooooooo, this is a hard one. I’m gonna have to have a tie on this between, “Down”, and, “The Last Time”. When putting together the production and sound scape of, “Down”, I really wanted to create a sense of longing because that’s essentially what that song is: it’s the complete taking-down of your walls for somebody because you want to fall completely into them, letting yourself be vulnerable so they know just how much you want them. For, “The Last Time”, I decided to keep that song with just piano and vocals because adding production was going to end up making it sound cheesy, and this song has such a powerful sense of nostalgia that I wanted it to almost seem completely empty, just like how you feel sometimes when you think back on someone from your past. Plus, that key change is life (have to toot my own horn on that one lolz), I want more artists to do key changes again!!!

Dan: Girl, key changes are UNDERRATED. When done just right, they can completely change a song for me. The key change in "The Last Time" makes me scream every single time. I think we could see them make a comeback.

Now, just like anyone on this journey, there are numerous high and low points. Tell us about when the music industry has maybe made you feel inadequate. How did u overcome this?

Taylor: Ummmm, the industry can make you feel inadequate on almost a daily basis if you let it, honestly. I’d be lying if I were to say that every day is a walk in the park, cause it’s not: you feel like you're constantly trying to prove to the world that you’re talented, yet it falls on deaf ears. However, I think the cure for those feelings of inadequacy is surrounding yourself with amazing people who are just as creative, driven and positive as you are, but always making sure to be humble. Nobody likes a cocky bitch, ever, lolz.

Dan: You are speaking TRUTH in this interview, girl. Surrounding yourself with positivity is almost the only way to get through those moments of feeling inadequate. And you're right, nobody enjoys being around cockiness, even though there can be a lot of that in this industry.

As you surround yourself with driven and encouraging people, I know that also includes artists u look to for inspiration. Tell us about an artist/songwriter who inspires u. What about their artistry/ability would you like to emulate in your own?

Taylor: To kick it a bit old school, I’m gonna say Elton John because I think he was so groundbreaking and just what was needed in the world to move forward progressively. He was completely unafraid to be flamboyant and unapologetically homosexual in a time that it was still not acceptable in public overall. Plus, with Bernie Taupin on the lyrics and Elton on the melodies, they made some prettyyyyyyyy amazing music that still stands the test of time, if I don’t say so myself.

Dan: Elton is a legend and an icon, especially for what he did for queer visibility in the mainstream. I had to include him as a part of the PRIDE playlist. It would have been a crime not to, honestly.

I have mentioned earlier that u are pretty much on the go all the time, whether it's working on ur own stuff or writing for other artists. In the midst of everything u have going on, how do u manage a busy schedule and stress? How do you recharge when u need to?

Taylor: I actually work WAY better on a busy schedule, so I’m a fan of back to back sessions, all week long! But, when I do need a little break, I love getting out of LA for a sec and visiting places like San Diego, Palm Springs, Santa Barbra and more. I also love having parties with my friends, dancing around, being gay, playing beer pong. Oh, and Tequila. Tequila is always an answer to stress and busy schedules (Silver Tequila only though).

Dan: I think that LA is such an encompassing city that sometimes the only solution to getting a break is getting out. I do the same thing. Also, I did not know u liked playing beer pong! I sense a duel between you and me coming soon...

Looking past u only liking silver tequila (sorry I had to throw some shade), what do u think is the biggest misconception people have about working in this industry?

Taylor: Oh lordy, probably that you can just show up in town and become a super star. Sorry to say it, but being a cocky bitch doesn’t get you very far hahah. The only way you’re becoming an overnight pop star is if mommy and daddy are loaded, or a family member is tied into a label somehow. Gotta put in the work to really earn respect from people, at least in my book.

Dan: There are many, many people that agree with u! This industry easily and quickly exposes true talent and true intention. I love how honest and open u are.

Touching on your openness, how has ur identity influenced or affected your journey as a songwriter and artist?

Taylor: I think being gay totally influences my journey as both a songwriter and as an artist because it’s not, “normal”, per say. It doesn’t fit the cookie cutter mold of what a male pop artist has been for the past 5+ decades, so it’s sometimes difficult for people to want to get behind something still so new and not fully understood. But, even though it sometimes makes the journey harder, I wouldn’t change it for the world because I feel like it brings such a unique and interesting view to songs that straight men, and even women can’t entirely relate to.

Dan: I am holding onto hope that as time continues, more queer artists will be accepted as major label and mainstream like their straight counterparts. I think that progress in this aspect will really be made by people just like u, who are unapologetically themselves. What advice would you give to up and coming LGBTQ+ songwriters and artists?

Taylor: I would emphasize not trying to hide who you are, letting it all fall out, even if it’s hard to do. We’re in a time where LGBTQ kids need role models, people that they can say they want to grow up to be like. Unlike straight men and women, LGBTQ kids have had to feel the need to hide who they are from such a young age so as to “fit in” with normal, American society; now is the time for us to live our lives to the fullest so we can keep paving the road towards the future. (I felt like a motivational speaker there on a soap box lolz.)

Dan: U are dead on. The more LGBTQ artists and musicians that are in the spotlight, the more LGBTQ kids and youth will see that it really is okay to be themselves. We have to watch out for our LGBTQ youth as much as possible because our government doesn't seem to look out for them enough...

I am sure thinking through these questions has made u, in a way, look back on your own journey as an artist and songwriter. So what would you has been the biggest highlight of your career as an artist/songwriter so far?

Taylor: I think one of the coolest moments so far was opening for Bonnie McKee at OC Pride in 2014. Even though I now look back on my outfit and shake my damn head, it was so amazing to meet her in person, definitely one of my songwriting idols!

Dan: Hahaha, that's incredible. How cool that u were able to open for her at a Pride event! She is a songwriting queen. Definitely an idol of mine, too! (For those of you that don't know Bonnie, u can thank her for hits like 'Teenage Dream,' 'California Gurls,' 'Dynamite,' and 'Hold It Against Me.')

Taylor, it's time for my signature question. What artist/album/song have u had on repeat lately?

Taylor: Ok, album for SURE would be Kehlani’s, “Sweet Savage Sexy”: that shit is AMAZING. I’m also digging The 1975, Jon Bellion, Blackbear and Julia Michaels. “Issues”-Julia Michaels, “Do-Re-Mi”-Blackbear, “Escape”-Kehlani, “Bad Liar”-Selena Gomez and “Death Wish”-Terror Jr are definitely the go-to songs on repeat currently!!!

Dan: This list is SO solid. U know Kehlani has a soft spot in my heart. I was so excited to include her on SPREAD CH.2 as well!

Now that we are sadly wrapping up this Artist Spotlight, how can we check out ur music and stay up to date with ur releases/posts? Anything we should especially be on the lookout for?

Taylor: My Insta/Twitter handle is @TaylorJamison77, and you can listen to my shit on Spotify, Apple Music, iHeart Radio and more under Taylor Jamison! Also, you can check out Matthew John’s EP, “Chain Reaction” on all streaming sites as well (I wrote the title track, “Chain Reaction”!). In the next few months I’ll be having some new music come out, as well as some more releases with other artists (follow me on Insta for the most up to date info, as I share mostly on there. Plus, my InstaStory’s are usually pretty fun, from what I’ve heard!)

Dan: I can attest that Taylor is very fun to follow on social media! Everyone PLEASE go check his pages and his music out, and then go give his song '(Never Gonna) Change For You' another listen on PRIDE! Thank u so much for being so real with us, girl. I cannot wait to see ur name in lights one day.

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Thank u for tuning into the second SPREAD Artist Spotlight! Big thanks to Taylor Jamison for serving some tea today and giving us a closer look at his career as a gay singer/songwriter.

I hope u all enjoy the last few days of PRIDE month! I can't believe it's almost over. In just a couple of days a new playlist will be gracing the SPREAD website, and this one is about to be veryyy refreshing... ;)

Cover e v e r y inch!

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hospitalbracelets · 5 years

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i forgot that you existed is the best one of this era so far (yes i am at the beginning but this is SO GOOD)

cruel summer is so good too and i am legit tearing up because i was so scared that i wasn’t gonna like any of this but i love the first two alsdkfjadf “i dont wanna keep secrets just to keep you” “angels roll their eyes” i cant

the lover vid made the song so so so much better. wish i’d seen that before the lyric vid tbh. but i still think it sounds like a bad song written for riverdale :(

cringe @ the man. i get it, especially for her, but. ugh. everyone’s gonna be talking about how great this one is forever. at least the song is good. can we change the words?? haha

still wish the archer wasn’t so... reverberate-y?

her falsetto kills me. the rest of it is very good. this bridge sounds like... i just paused it to figure it out. two door? vampire weekend? there’s some indie band that uses exactly that same thing.

the miss americana vERSES AHHHH beautiful. okay this is SO GOOD i really really like this one. THAT GO FIGHT WIN THOUGH!!!! this is the best-written one so far imo

AHHH IM LAUGHING at paper rings omg. cute. pure. good. not pure i take it back i really like this. it feels... alive?? this is such a fun one ugh. it’s like an updated version of ours <3 i know i’m gonna be singing this one forever and ever. so cute and funnnnnnn ahhhhh

can we please eliminate this falsetto noise ahhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHH but the verses are gorgeous and i love it. such a fall song. is this like 21q that it’s about to be awful foreshadowing?? please say no. i never would have thought a and c would separate.

her voice <3 why do i feel like i’ve heard this one before?? i could cry i just am so happy to be listening to new taylor. this is so exciting. “i look through the windows of this love even though we boarded them up”

was that a patd reference?! hahahaha. i love the “american smile” that’s so cute. this is so cuteeeee it reminds me of sophie and joe. (im already not ready for the next track. been thinking about mr. w’s end for a long time. awsten...) anyway. this one’s another contender for fave. so sweet and cute and good. im definitely going to both nights of tour if she plays here twice.

“you’ll get better soon cause you have to” oh noooo this whole thing is awsten. “i’ll paint the kitchen neon”????? this is him. this is him. oh no there’s still another minute. oh good it’s over. okay. next.

i don’t want it to end. i don’t want the album to end oh no i’m crying i dont want it to end. this sounds like a 1975 song. is this the one people were calling “forgettable” bc-

yntcd

i like the repetition in the chorus. catchy + good. i’d be interested to know what or who this is about. her voice sounds great. i think this is my favorite vocally so far.

why the heck was this the lead single? i guess i kind of get it but AGAIN with the FALSETTO i can’t handle it. it’s not GOOD. and the bridge. i will never, ever get over the bridge. it’s fun. but again - not GOOD. pleeeaaaasssseeeeeee. at least the video was cute. omg she took out spelling is fun!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!

steel drums ooh. i wonder what i’ll wind up thinking of this one. not crazy about it now. she sounds good again though. is she married? lol

LAST TRACK. “i dont wanna look at anything else now that i saw you” AHH. i cant believe its almost over. “i only see daylight” im gonna cry. im so happy for her. i love when she does the half-talking thing yesss taylor. PRETTY. PRETTYYYYYYYY. “now im wide awake” she is making me weak. I LOVEEEEEE the end. OH NOW SHES TALKING. selena vibes.

THE END I LOVE IT

WHEN IS TOUR im gonna get my cheer outfit ready!!!!

#first listen #lover #ts

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