#And like? Yeah sure. There are some writers in this fandom that are more popular than others

[buckttommy]

+

[daincrediblegg]

no you know what I'm going to scream about the stuff I talked about in the tags of this post publicly

I'm tired of the well-meaning "don't feel bad if your work only gets 20 notes your genius is what counts and do it for you!" bullshit. I've had a good handful of friends who have straight up DEACTIVATED in recent months because their work was not getting reblogged AT ALL. No, it wasn't from lack of not being well-liked, no it wasn't from lack of trying to make sure it was getting out there to the people they knew would engage with it. It was because no matter how much they were praised privately for their work, when push came to shove, absolutely NOBODY reblogged it and gave it the audience that it was due, and I'm tired of people shoving the "unsung genius" narrative as an excuse for it. Nothing excuses that. And the boop event really proved that.

because I know given the opportunity, indiscriminately pressing a button (sometimes 10 thousand times, as I did) is not beyond this website's capability. y'all loved doing that. and look at what it wrought. nothing but love and affection and happiness. just from a couple of quick clicks of a little paw button. sure. nobody knew who you booped but the other person (which is how likes used to work on this website, btw). there was an element of anonymity to it. but that is kind of the core of this website that no other social media platform still has: the ability to be anonymous. and hyper-curating a blog on here like you might on twitter or instagram to project an image is simply not viable. and hey. you wanna know a secret: literally nobody cares what you post or whether it goes with the "theme" of your blog or not. yeah. I know. CRAZY concept in this day and age. but literally. I myself have reblogged things that have had nothing to do with whatever I am currently fixated by and you know what happened to my follower count? not a damn thing. in fact, I actively try to reblog things specifically BECAUSE it's my friends who made them (even though I'm not always good at KEEPING UP WITH HOW MUCH THEY POST @prismatica-the-strange will NEVER GO UNRECOGNIZED by me).

And you know what fucking sucks? I have to deal with this too. surprise right? you ever wonder why I reblog fics or art I post like 20 times the day that I post them? do you ever wonder why I ask about tag lists and beg for asks all the time? IT'S BECAUSE EVEN I GET LIKE. 5 LIKES ON THE THINGS I POST. AND THE REST OF THE REBLOGS ARE MINE SO I CAN MAKE SURE THAT PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SEE WHAT I MAKE GET TO SEE IT. and I say that knowing that I'm certainly not an unpopular blog, or an unpopular writer. I know that people love the stories that I create. Hell, half of the people that I've talked to about lady terror have told me that they consider her to be canon (AND EVEN SOME!! THOUGHT SHE WAS!!! WITHOUT EVEN HAVING WATCHED THE SHOW! WHICH IS STILL SO SO WILD TO ME!!!) But especially in the last 4 years (which really dates this phenomenon), my posts, no matter how well received they've been amongst people I've talked to about them directly, I still go into the notes and at least half (often more than half) are MY reblogs to make sure people saw what I posted. and it happens every single time, and I can't tell you how much it crushes me considering that it used to be that I would be able to post it only once, and people would reblog it sometimes even HUNDREDS of times.

It's not about popularity. it never has been. it's not about anxiety. or shifting website cultures. even if you lurk, the simple fact is, that if you want people to keep making what you love. you have to reblog. your theme won't suffer because you reblogged a fanfiction that you really admire. your posting won't be ruined because you reblogged some fanart from someone in a different fandom. really. I promise. and if people do unfollow you for that? who needs em. followers come and go but you should NEVER have to cater to them. on this website it has ALWAYS been the other way around. lean into it. make it yours. put stuff you ACTUALLY WANT to be seen and that you love and appreciate on your blog. no matter how old it is, how new it is, no matter how niche or off-theme it is.

so please. if you really want to show your appreciation for someone's work? you reblog. it's really as easy as that. check the tags. add some when you reblog if you like. but please for the love of god reblog. it's as easy as booping and even more rewarding for the people who you reblog from. if you want to let someone know that their work is genius and appreciate it? show it. reblog. then DM them if you're too nervous to say what you want to say but not in a public forum. but for christ's sake. REBLOG.

[rollercoasterwords]

like. ok i am going to spell it out

the reason having conversations about representation can be productive in the realm of like. tv or movies or published fiction is that

a) those forms of media are outside the realm of your control. like. most individuals do not get much of a say in the creation of film and most individuals never publish books, etc. BUT

b) those forms of media are largely driven by audience consumption. they exist in a profit economy and rely on reaching an audience to survive. so it does matter what the audience thinks, because a bigger, happier audience = more money

ergo, yelling about liking or disliking something is essentially one of the only ways you can make a difference in those forms of media. it can be productive to push for lesbian rep in tv shows, for example, because if consumers are putting their money where their mouth is then it incentivizes the people who do control what gets made to make things that consumers will want to buy.

but none of that applies to fanfiction.

do you see where i'm going with this? generally speaking, fanfiction is something made as a hobby by individuals who are writing stories that they want to see. because there is no profit, it doesn't really matter what an audience wants; at the end of the day, people generally aren't going to be motivated to write stories for free in their spare time if the story isn't something they themselves want to write. if someone is choosing to write stories about men over writing stories about women, that is not automatically or inherently misogynistic.

additionally--this is a space where you can control the media you consume! if there's a story you want to read, you can just write it. like. it's fanfiction. you can literally just write anything you want to see.

"oh but i'm not a good writer" "oh but that takes so long" "oh but that's so hard" "oh but i don't want to write it, i just want to read it"

okay? go search for the stories you want then. there are tons of people writing wlw fic in this fandom; you can find them if you try.

"yeah but the wlw fics aren't as good--" fuck off

"yeah but there aren't as many--" THEN WRITE SOME. or find a fic writer who writes wlw fic and shower them with praise if you really want to encourage them to keep writing. aside from writing it yourself, supporting wlw fic writers is the most productive thing you can do if you genuinely feel that this is a serious issue.

but when you complain that there's "not enough" wlw fic, you are approaching fanfiction in the same way you would approach media created within a profit economy. you are acting as if fic writers are obligated to provide you, the consumer, with certain types of "content," which deteriorates the boundaries that keep fanfiction outside the consumer economy and protect it as one of few community spaces left that has not been entirely swallowed by the chokehold of capitalism. is there a conversation to be had about how misogyny might play into the popularity of mlm vs. wlw fic? sure! but that is a nuanced conversation that cannot be boiled down to a one-sentence tweet or a single comment on tiktok, and trying to simplify it down to a punchline does more harm than good.

[laurfilijames]

All week I told myself that on Sunday, I was going to write all day.

I opened my laptop up for the first time in two weeks. I haven't written a word since I finished editing Expensive and tried for over an hour to work on my series Like My Dreams.

I thought about it all week and have been so eager to continue it, only the words won't come.

I know it's not for lack of passion or wanting to; I think about this story (and all the other ones) constantly.

I've been trying to deny some feelings for a while, or chalk it up to getting too much in my own head, but today it's come down heavier than ever and what is ultimately responsible for blocking my creativity and turning my love for my stories from thoughts into actual sentences.

I'm lonely.

I've never felt so alone.

The Charlie fandom seems to be relatively non existent, or just extremely quiet.

I have no space. No where I fit in.

I'm on the outskirts, trying to find a spot, constantly seeing if there is a way I can have a place for my ideas, stories, and even friendship, and have it hold some value to the others I'm around.

The more I post on here, the less I feel seen.

Engagement on this platform has reduced drastically across the board, and it's effecting so many artists.

It's not about numbers. I'm sure some of you are probably thinking "your last fic has over 100 notes". Yeah. It does. Almost all of those notes are likes, and more than half the reblogs are my own.

What I'm seeking is engagement. Conversation. A likeness and kinship started by a common interest that blooms into simple conversations and thoughts shared.

Comparison is a bitch. I see so many people living the Tumblr life I wish to have. Asks, comments, reblogs of teasers and moodboards for upcoming fics screaming of excitement and praise and how eager they are to read it. People dropping everything they're doing to read the latest chapter of their friend's new fic.

I realize the many reasons why I'm in a different position than they are, but lately it's been screaming at me louder than ever that I'm lacking something meaningful or whatever I'm doing on here isn't enough.

I've tried creating a buzz around my stories. I am aware that most of the time I write for unpopular characters with a smaller fan base, so I set the bar lower but am still left feeling inadequate even when I write for the popular ones. Whenever I've shared snippets of WIPs in hopes to gain some excitement from my readers, it falls short. Usually it'll inspire me to keep going, to write better than ever and make this next fic The Best One that makes me so happy and excited to get out. (For Charlie, I'll say, and write something I'm so unbelievably proud of) and then sometimes it makes me wonder if I should bother continuing at all.

I know I am not owed anything by anyone and no one is obligated to read or comment or anything of the sort, and I am beyond grateful for the comments and support I do receive, and the friendships I've made, old and new.

I'm not exactly sure what I'm getting at here, I just needed to write it down and "talk" it out.

I've been battling the decision to continue writing but not share it. I don't want that to happen, because as much as I write these stories for myself, a lot of the fun of it comes from being able to share it with all of you.

Nothing dramatic is happening. I'm not leaving, and I will be writing again because I'm not at all done with what I have to say about these characters, I just felt this needed to be said and already feel a little lighter by sharing it.

Write your stories, comment on your favourite fics, scream with your mutuals about a photo or gif that inspired something in you, tell your writer friends and writers you've never spoken to but love their stories just how much you do... I promise it makes more of an impact than you know. 💗

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Hello ! I'm fairly new to the fandom: a friend of mine advised me to watch the original series before watching the live action (I'm not American and I had never heard about ATLA before that).

So I wasn't there when the fandom seemed to be torn by the ship wars, like two decades ago. I keep seeing Zutara's fans claiming that their ship was the original endgame except that there's no evidence in the show (at least with my "virgin Atla eyes") and all I can see are interviews of the creators/showrunners saying that Kataang was the endgame all along.

I guess my question is this : is there an actual interview of them entertaining the idea of Zutara at the time (even just to shipbait) ? Because I've been in several fandoms where creators/writers would do that just to keep the audience interested (*cough* Riverdale - yeah you can judge me...).

You say that Nickelodeon promoted the ship wars. In what form ?

That was a long ask. Thanks for reading me!

Okay, so here's what you need to know to fully understand that mess: back when the show was first airing, lots of zutara fans had fully convinced themselves that either the story was going to be changed to make their ship canon (because "it's more popular than Kataang") or that Zutara was TOTALLY planned to be the endgame from day one and that's why some many people liked in the first place (because "there's no way this is all in our heads" - spoiler, it was).

And this wasn't a case of fans simply disagreeing on theories about how the show was going to end - lots of people were being AWFUL to each other on fandom spaces, and the behavior was not exclusive to zutara or even just the other non-canon ships. Everyone was calling anyone who disagreed with their takes stupid and bragging ahead of time of how THEIR ship was going to be canon instead. And because the internet was not at all as inescapable as it is today and information was much harder to verify, some people were making "100% legit claims" that their parents or uncle or cousin or whoever worked on Nickelodeon and had fully confirmed Zutara would indeed be a thing.

Nickelodeon, being the shameless corporation that it is, realized that ship wars could mean A LOT of money because people would keep watching if they thought there was any chance of their ship becoming endgame. So, whenever there was an episode in which Zuko and Katara would interact, they made sure to not only include it in the promo for the episode, they'd describe it as "sharing a special moment" or "growing closer" even when that was not what was going to happen in the episode itself. They didn't do that just with Avatar either, and would spend years pulling simmilar things with the hit shows ICarly and Victorious, both of which had ship wars too. In hindsight (and even back then if we simply compare the promos to the episodes) it's obvious that Nick's promos should not have been taken seriously, but Zutara fans latched onto them as "proof" anyway (and some Nick exec laughed all the way to the bank).

But then the finale happened, Kataang and Maiko were endgame, and Zuko and Katara were never even stated to be interested in each other like that. The ship just wasn't a factor in the story - much like Kataang and Maiko fans had said it wouldn't be, because it was obvious what the writers were actually going for.

So, instead of admiting they let their enjoyment of a fanon ship get a little out of hand and that, even though they had every right to like it, it simply never had any chance of being canon and they shouldn't have insisted otherwise when the truth was so clear, they went for a different approach: just double-down on the lie that they had inside knowledge about the show's writting and production, and make up a whole conspiracy about how the lead writer and "true creator" Aaron Ehasz and everybody else had been building up to Zutara from day one, but then Bryan and Michael or "Bryke", the evil showrunners, meddled at the last second and forced them to change everything.

They also claimed there were things like a "deleted" scene in the finale, with Iroh saying Katara would be perfect for Zuko, or with a kiss between the characters, or Katara telling Aang she loved someone else, ya know, all kinds of copes. Nickelodeon made it worse by airing some "fun production facts" during re-runs, plenty of which were obviously fake - but one mentioned "Zuko was going to be Katara's original love interest" so plenty of people were willing to pretend it was all 100% legitimate. And the icing on the cake was an "interview" in which Ehasz supposedly confirmed all of the conspiracies, "proving" zutara fans had always been right about everything and it's the Kataang and Maiko fans that were lying to themselves.

Unfortunatelly for these people, pretty much EVERYONE has a social media presence nowadays, and it's really easy to not only get in contact with writers and producers of the shows we like, but to also PROVE that what you're telling everyone is indeed what that person said.

And there's tons of videos and screenshots of everyone involved in writting and producing the show saying, including the ones that like Zutara, saying KATAANG was the planned endgame from the start, and Aaron Ehasz has repeatedly said that the supposed "interview" in which he validates the zutara endgame conspiracy and "calls out" Bryke is completely fake, and he's happy MAI got to live happily ever after with Zuko.

Finally, we got access to "the series bible", aka the original plans for the show, and we got to see everything that was cut or changed: Uncle Iroh was originally going to be a twist villain that would betray Zuko, Azula was still going to be a prodigy and Ozai's favorite child but she'd be Zuko's older brother instead of his younger sister, and there was a cut love triangle between Aang, Katara... and TOPH, who was going to be a super buff dude, much like we see in Ember Island Players and in the opening sequence of every episode because yes, they had already designed that character AND started book 1 when decided "Wouldn't a blind girl that looks delicate but can wreck people's shit be more interesting than this generic guy?"

But even now that disproving this Zutara endgame conspiracy is easier than ever because we can just ask the people who made the show, some people continue insisting that all these writers and producers, again some of which DO like Zutara, are lying for no reason - or because "Bryke is forcing them to hide it all."

They're just desperately trying to save face and pretend that they didn't spend over a decade lying to themselves and their buddies, and sometimes using this conspiracy to justify bullying, threatening and doxxing people.

It's VERY sad.

[idiotlovesongs]

i wanna talk about being latino (mexican and colombian) in bandom, specifically being a fan of ptv.

as we all know, bandom is so very fucking white. sure you can go looking for specifically poc bands, but the majority of the popular bands are white with one or two people of color in the band and they are either white passing or get treated fucking weirdly by fans because white fans don't know how to interact with their poc idols normally (not that they interact with their white idols normally but it's a bad weird when it comes to poc).

most bands are sexualized but with ptv it felt particularly gross in the way it was tied to the fact that they were mexican. they were and are hot, don't get me wrong, but did the term sexican have to be so fucking popularized?? the fact that they were latinos was really fetishized in a way that white artists really didn't get. i remember someone talking about how the only reason they got a girlfriend in middle school was because in between getting called a beaner and a wetback, she was also called a sexican. it gave emo and alt people almost a right to fetishize latinos, specifically mexicans. and emo latinos just had to sit and take it because it was the only love we really got from such a largely white fanbase. a lot of memes around them (at least the ones that i remember, the ones that stuck with me) were kind of racist and stereotyped them. not to say ptv didn't make those kind of jokes from time to time, but it's different when it's coming from your own people rather than some person on the internet who is probably white.

i really fucking love ptv. it was so nice to finally look and see someone like me up on stage playing music for you. it was nice getting recognition from other people that we could also fucking do that. it gave us something to be. and i grew up around a lot of poc, but i always identified more with fandom spaces and bandom cause i was a weird emo child with a fucked up sense of sexuality and gender. i experienced that sense of other from my irl community and then in bandom spaces because most people were white. i wasn't totally conscious of the effects until i noticed in my writing that all my characters (and i do mean all) were white. Do you know how embarrassed I felt? How ashamed I felt? How it still feels so fucking shitty? that shit sticks with you. how is it that i was so entrenched in a white community that i forgot that i existed? that people like me existed. ptv really helped pull me out of that.

rpf is bandom was and is a big thing. if you were gay or questioning in middle school and you were emo, you read rpf. that's just how it fucking goes. i read maybe like one or two from bands that i liked, but the ones that i fucking devoured involved vic fuentes. yeah most of the writers were white and fetishized him, but it was still nice to have someone there that looked like me. idk if other poc can relate to this, but i always feel super uncomfortable walking into a room and have there be only white people. it makes you feel alienated as fuck. having vic and the rest of ptv in these digital spaces made me feel less alone subconsciously. again, this works were definitely a little racist and homophobic but i wasn't super picky back then and i had yet to unpack some internalized issues.

a little sidenote that i've noticed is that people talk about gender envy a lot when it comes to white members in bandom, but i've seem almost no one talk about it when it comes to ptv. maybe i'm just on the wrong side of tumblr, but i've very rarely seen someone say shit about ptv giving them gender envy and they are so fucking gender. literally fuck y'all. the day another white twink gives me gender envy is a cold day in hell. i went to mexico and got it so fucking often because i finally saw what my actual fucking face could be. i saw my features on guys and wanted to fucking crawl into their skins just to see how it would feel. and the gender euphoria i got at everyone saying i looked just like my dad was literally unreal. and yeah i got told i was the female version but it was so fucking close. i felt like i could fucking taste it. tangent over.

this is not to say ptv were always amazing and helpful to the community. i mean, they definitely catered to a white audience. i still remember watching their music videos and wondering why all the actors were white. they were the only poc in most of their old music videos. i particularly took note of the fact that there were poc in the music video of pass the nirvana because they quite literally had none before. i still remember the day i watched bulls in the bronx and wondering why they didn't have latinos in a music video for a song that was so tied to their latin roots. i get that latinos come in all different shades, but they are always picking the palest shade?? come on.

and i acknowledge that ptv probably didn't have control of the actors chosen for their mvs, but it still demonstrates the issues in bandom and how even in their own music videos they are kind of othered. i know if i was in a band, i would at least try to push for one actor to be visibly latino or some other poc. but like i said, they could very well just have no control over this and it's someone else pulling the strings for their music videos. it just felt kind of shitty to look at their music videos and see that even their they were the only latinos in the space.

sidenote, being latino and emo is fucking hard. being emo is seen as a white thing and, if your peers don't make fun of you, your family and community sure fucking will. i was in mexico and had my hair dyed bright red (which is admittedly an attention grabber) and you have no idea the amount of stares i got in my dad's pueblo. kids, parents, grandparents, everyone looks at you and stares. i'm sure this isn't specific to latinos, but i'm talking about my personal experience. my uncle, who had admittedly been kind of creepy and weird, kind of stopped interacting with me as much when i got my hair colored, when it became very visibly obvious that i was kind of alt/emo, and i definitely felt like my family was gonna talk shit as soon as i left. but that's also just how latino families are. there's always chisme. i can't imagine what it must feel like to actually live in mexico while being emo (especially in the 00s-10s) but, from what i've heard, it's not fucking fun. you're just really othered in a way that i didn't totally feel in the states because i had my friends who were also emo. i mean the mexican emo wars is such fucking proof of the difference in the way white people interacted with alt cultures and the way mexicans did.

anyways this was just me putting words to a feeling i've always had about ptv. it is by no means articulate or well crafted, but i just wanted to get this out. i really do love pierce the veil and most of their work. i always smile when i see the way their heritage influences their music and they really effected the way i see myself and my culture. i love that they got a mexican folklorico dancer to dance with them on stage for bulls in the bronx. it seriously warmed my heart to see them embrace us that way and honestly makes me wanna fucking cry. don't come at me because this shit is half assed. i know it is. it is just me talking about my experience and feelings and what i've heard from other latinos. if you're latino too, add onto this post or message me if you want to talk about this stuff or just ptv in general. white people, don't engage in this convo. it is not about you and i don't care about your opinion on the latino experience in bandom. other poc are welcome to talk about their experiences too. was there a band like this that y'all had and how did that impact you guys' perspective of yourself and your culture?

[lemonhemlock]

hi! I wanted to know your opinion, I also love helaegon, but even in books it is written about aegon's infidelities. do you think he loved Heleina romantically if he was cheating? yet before B&C they slept together

i ship helaegon, so yeah, i do think there was romantic love woven into their sibling bond. which, in and of itself, is a curious and fucked-up starting point to expand upon. was he a perfect husband? lol no. sure, fire & blood doesn't stop to spell out every relationship and interaction between these people, bc the medium just doesn't allow for it.

but we do know some things about helaena. she is hinted to have been a very popular and charismatic person - she was an involved mother to three children, was beloved by both alicent AND viserys. even rhaenyra didn't have any particular beef with her. the common people loved her so much they rioted in her name, which means she had a very active public persona, perhaps related to charities and other good works and wasn't holed up in the palace all day.

she claimed dreamfyre, so that proves she was a brave and enterprising person, not afraid to take risks and take charge of the situation, if needed. milquetoast pushovers are not really successful dragon claimers - i feel like fandom glosses over this aspect a lot and the show doesn't help. can you imagine how it must feel like to fly in that time when the only method of air transportation is a dangerous fire-breathing creature? or to have a deep telepathic bond with one?

so, in this context, aegon isn't really given any particular reason to dislike her. she has a retort at hand whenever needed, is not afraid of her husband, is involved in political decisions before B&C and aegon even listens to her. is that a whole lot of build-up? ofc not. but it's really not the "helaegon h8 each other" gotcha zinger that's become popular in the fandom. although hotd does not help in this regard.

in the show she is kind of the opposite of what she was portrayed in FB - she's shy, withdrawn, keeps to the palace grounds, is mostly ignored and content that way. these traits are not "bad" or "good", but it does change the family dynamic and imo not much is done to compensate for it. i don't get the feeling they're telling a better story with this, just a more frustrating one by not providing some kind of counterbalance.

at the end of the day, this relationship has a lot of potential for interesting exploration, but any adaptation will boil down to what specific themes the writers want to develop. and, whenever readers interpret this ship, they're also going to be viewing it through whichever lends they find more compelling. it's always going to be like this with any underdeveloped aspect of any story.

so, if you make aegon hypersexual and helaena withdrawn, that's definitely a choice that's going to inform how these characters interact with each other, but that new dynamic is different from the text and we should acknowledge that, not pretend it was like this all along.

as for whether it's a good change to make or not, i'm not inclined to say so. transforming helaena into another long-suffering wife, when she is already going to lose her mind over the trauma she is subjected to, is boring. they already explored that with alicent and, at the end of the day, helaena is not your typical westerosi lady. her dragon is bigger than aegon's, but nobody bothers to take that into consideration. she should be whacking her brother over the head if he's being annoying, not cowering in fear of him.

[olderthannetfic]

I feel like I keep seeing antis/anti-leaning people claim that proshippers are against discussions of racism in fandom. Obviously there is the basic bad faith interpretation (deliberate slander), which I'm not inherently against, but do you have any idea if there's a potential good faith interpretation of why they think this? Is there a specific fandom where the proshippers are actually yelling at the antiracists?

--

I get this question all the time, which is ironic since I tend to be public enemy #1 for the "AO3 is racist" crowd. (Or maybe they've moved on by now. I don't really keep up with them.)

No, there is no good faith interpretation. It's recycled Star Wars wank from 2015, SamSteve vs. Stucky wank from the same period, etc. etc.

The "anti-racists" in question include a lot of big names who should know better. Their central arguments boil down to:

The demographics of which characters get shipped and/or written about on AO3 are racist.

A lot of individual fics about characters of color on AO3 are racist.

AO3's refusal to "listen" and then censor is racist.

Fans of color "need" to be able to speak up about fic that is racist... in that fic's comments.

It's all ass-backwards because it focuses on the needs of the reader to find the content they want, which is content creator influencer hell, not the writer-focused AO3 approach.

The whole point of AO3-style fandom is that everyone has access to posting, and you can write what you want. Want more fics about your fave? Write them.

There are individual AO3 fics I find racist, but the vast majority of the discourse around the site focuses on things like writers who ship the black dude but use him as a prop boyfriend and not the single perfect tear woobie who's obviously their favorite. Is the pattern racist? Well, yeah, but you won't solve it by trying to restrict those fics. And the extreme form of this turns into a cliched top/bottom shipwar, which just makes everyone involved look like a moron.

Teaching people how to write their tops with personalities is far more likely to make the collective fic in a fandom less racist than demanding that they switch which pairing dynamic they're into. Making more original media where the man of color is the woobie in the first place would also help.

Plenty of the discourse is crying that such-and-such a m/m ship is super popular on AO3, temple of m/m, while gen about characters of color or some particular het ship with a nonwhite character is less popular. "Why don't you ship het instead of m/m" is a gigantic red flag for people who refuse to understand libido or accept it as a valid reason for anything.

A lot of the discourse is anti-kink despite lying about this fact. "Boo hoo hoo, I for sure psychically know who's a racist white person and who's a kinky black person whose id doesn't match up with mine!" etc.

There's also a lot of "This fic is race kink!" nonsense thrown around about any fic where a man of color has a big dick, as though penis size by itself is the racist cliche often summed up as "big black cock" and as though all ethnicities and nationalities are subject to identical stereotypes. This garbage gets uncritically repeated by newly-minted "woke" people falling over themselves to correct hundreds of years of injustice by yelling at others for a couple of days on twitter.

This is where the "you're calling me an anti to silence me" garbage comes from. Sound like a kink-hater, get treated as one.

AO3 does have bullying problems by now, and the various blocking and muting features were overdue. They are now being implemented, which is great. Anyone with half a brain cell should see that these are key anti-racist measures so that people can block idiots who write fic they hate or who leave shitty comments...

But a certain number of jackasses complain even about that because it will ~silence fans of color~ who need to go tell someone they're a racist in their fic comments.

These dumbass arguments have been circulating for years at this point, so the talking points have boiled down to catch phrases.

--

Damn right I'm against "discussion" when it means telling everyone that only white people would like nasty kink.

When the whiny "plz censor AO3" crowd stops sounding exactly like that asshole who used "freaks of color" in a past discussion about these kinds of things and when they're ready to discuss how to write extreme kink about their faves non-racistly without reducing the kinkiness, then I will be ready to listen to their arguments.

But they have none other than "write the kind of fic I like!"

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove and I felt like some public masochism so here we are!

Edit: Holy fuck this got long, putting it under a read-more.

How many works do you have on ao3?

258 although I orphaned 100 works back in 2020.

What's your total Ao3 word count?

Why. Why would you ask me this. Why would you do this to me.

4,578,245 - although I shudder to think how much it will have gone up by the end of the year.

What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly 9-1-1, but I took a nosedive into Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves last year and still have one more fic I'm writing for it. I tend to have quick little detours into other fandoms, which I think is overall a good thing since it helps me flex my writing muscles with different characters and settings. I'm currently working on a fic that is from a show where the main characters are all constantly sassing each other and bickering, and it's pushed me into being witty and sharp with the dialogue and humor in a way that I don't think I have been in quite some time.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos:

Even Steel Blades Need Fire - that's right, a WITCHER fic. HA. You all weren't expecting that!

Leading with the Left - yeah yeah we all knew this one was coming.

Drowning in Dreams (You're My Raft) - I'm constantly surprised this little oneshot I wrote post-tsunami is so popular.

Footprints are More Easily Seen in the Snow - my first Witcher fic I ever wrote and might still actually be my favorite.

Sometimes a Hammer, Sometimes a Lockpick - another Witcher fic! I had a lot of fun with this one.

Do you respond to comments?

I do! I try to respond to every comment I get. I know not everyone can but given the anxiety I know readers have around giving comments I try to show how much every comment is appreciated by me.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I do happy endings, overall, but every once in a while I decide to be evil, so it's a tie between the two fics that are about a character dying:

The Soft Goodbye - a Timeless fic that focuses on the idea that time travel, like being in space for a long time, wreaks havoc on your body.

Full Circle - a Doctor Who fic written years ago speculating about the Doctor gifting a dying Donna her memories back so they can say goodbye.

For those of you in the 9-1-1 fandom however, since I'm sure everyone's looking at those two fics going "wait what," the fic with the angstiest ending is:

I'm Not Breathing Unless I'm Giving You CPR - spoiler alert, but I end this fic on an angsty and purposefully ambiguous note. It's up to the reader to decide what sort of ending they get.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uh. All of them, I'd say? With the exception of the two MCD fics above, I deliver happy endings. However based on reader feedback, I think I'll go with...

Your Love is an Oil Slick (It Glows Like Rainbows, It Stains My Soul) - the amount of angst in this fic, especially the Bobby and Buck relationship, seems to hit readers extra hard and so the happy ending, especially Buck's reunion with his father figure, is extra joyful and cathartic.

Do you get hate on fics?

I have once in a blue moon gotten "flames," as we used to say. Writing fanfic since I was thirteen, I don't think it's possible to fully avoid a few cranky people with nothing better to do than go around and shit on people's beds. But I've been extraordinarily lucky in the love and kindness I've gotten from my readers.

Do you write smut?

Baby, it's what I'm known for. Honestly sometimes to my chagrin - I hope people enjoy my worldbuilding, characterization, and plots as well - but overall I have a lot of fun writing smut and I love reducing people to slack-jawed water-chugging babbles.

Also someone had to bring the monsterfucking around here so by golly I'm reporting for duty.

Craziest crossover?

I don't do crossovers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup! Someone stole my Budde Porn Star AU and turned it into a Rooster/Hangman from TG:M fic. Someone kindly alerted me and I was able to report it to Ao3. Truly a surreal experience.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Multiple times. It's deeply flattering and I really admire translators who put in the work to take something from one language and convey the same meanings, flow, and story in another. Translation is a genuine art form, if you ask me.

Have you co-written a fic before?

Yes! A few times, all with my beloved @extasiswings. We did one Timeless fic together whispers like poetry and we had such fun that when I started my first long, plot-ty Buddie fic I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) and panicked, I roped her into finishing it with me.

We also co-wrote Carbon Date Me, Excavate Me because I was in a bad writing slump and she graciously made everything better, and then A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words (But Love is Undefinable) because she uno reverse'd me.

All time favorite ship?

I've been shipping for so long it's incredibly hard to pick just one, but I think given the sheer depth of my insanity, I have to say Buddie. I haven't had a ship grip me like this in... ever, actually. Honestly after being burned hard on some previous ships in my time, names redacted to protect the guilty (me), I didn't think it was possible to love a ship this much, and yet here I am.

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I plan to finish all of my WIPs. Once I start a fic I'm committed to finishing it. I do however have a couple fic ideas that I don't think I'll ever actually write.

What are your writing strengths?

Um. Smut, apparently. I also seem to do well with fusions; that is, taking one trope or setting and fusing it with another in a sort of plot mash-up. And people seem to really like my world building.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm a hyper-sexual person who is very casual about sexual relationships and so sometimes I think as a result I have characters think with their cocks a bit too much and jump too quickly into sex, and sometimes there's more smut than plot. Run-on sentences, my beloved (and my editor's beloathed). I tend to write out-of-order and so sometimes little plot details can contradict, not be followed up on, or get lost in the shuffle.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don't really write dialogue in another language in most of my fandoms, but in a few it's come up and I've approached it in different ways.

In Timeless, the character Garcia Flynn's first language is Croatian, so I would have him sometimes speak in it. In my dragon!Jaskier series, I was able to bastardize some of the Draconic from D&D (mixed with some Germanic root languages) for when he was cursing or communicating with his draconic family. In both cases, the other language was limited to only a line or two of dialogue, or perhaps a single word, so I wrote the dialogue in that language, and then had a translation guide at the bottom of the fic.

This tends to be my modus operandi, an exception being Xenk speaking Thayan, because I couldn't find any actual Thayan for the life of me, so I just describe how the phrase sounds or allude to him muttering something/swearing/etc. Since Ed, a former spy, also speaks Thayan, he can then inform the reader through his thought-process what the Thayan meant.

Occasionally, I will have two characters speaking in another language and simply italicize their words and have a line of description saying "they switch to French" or something similar, since I don't want readers to have to scroll up and down to understand an entire conversation.

In my original novels, however - the Horsemen quartet specifically - the characters communicate about fifty percent of the time through sign language. It's become the lingua franca, because noise alerts zombies and ASL is a silent language. In the books, I write the dialogue as I would English, and simply have the dialogue tag "she signed" instead of "she said."

As someone who speaks other languages but for whom English is their first, I'm not sure I get to really speak on how and when one should use other languages in one's predominantly-English fic in a predominantly-English-speaking fandom and online space. All I can say is that I listen to what others say in regards to what is most respectful and comfortable, and I don't have any personal preference in how a writer handles the use of secondary languages in their writing.

First fandom you wrote in?

I'm not sure which came first since they were right on top of each other, but Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean.

Favorite fic you've written?

Well that's just mean. How dare you. I don't have one favorite fic, that's like asking me to choose a favorite child.

I will say I am particularly fond of In the Gray You are Golden. I banged it out in a day in some kind of fugue state and I do think it's one of my best works.

Someday when I am filthy rich I will commission someone to draw it as a comic, especially the reunion scene between Buck, Eddie, and Christopher.

Tagging, with no pressure:

@princessfbi @buckttommy @extasiswings @kitkatpancakestack @gracieryder (once again I typed your fucking old url like five times...)

aaaaaaand @givemeunicorns.

[hillerskalibrary]

Event poll results!

(summary version)

So last week I opened a poll to check what kind of YR fandom events you guys wanted to see and the respondents were... how shall I put it... "very excited" is most applicable I think? ;)

Because I'm a nerd who likes to analyze the results but also doesn't want to chase her entire following away, I'm going to make two result posts:

This post, where I will summarize the results as succint as I can, and address some of the remarks and suggestions that I received. I'll also make a conclusion on what I would suggest to do - feedback on that is certainly welcome!

A second post (which I'll link when I finish it, most likely tomorrow or even after cause I'm slow as fuck) with some more graphs, percentages, observations, cause I don't know shit about statistics but that won't stop me from having fun with it!

Fair warning - it's pretty long. I just find it easier to explain a little about the decisions I'm (not) taking, both to invite discussion and because I don't want this to be a black box blog that does whatever and you never know why. That being said...

Ready? Let's go!

RESULTS

I received 72 responses, 36 writers and 36 readers.

The top 3 most wanted events by READERS is: Big Bang (89%), Theme Week (86%), and Weekly Challenges (83%). The event they were least excited about is Author Interviews (56%).

The top 3 events writers most want to PARTICIPATE in is, in order: Author Interviews (69%), Theme Week (64%), and Fic Exchange (61%). The events they DO NOT want to participate in are Author Interviews (25%), very closely followed by Big Bang and Advent (both 22%).

READERS were (very) slightly more excited about a Wilmon theme week rather than a general YR week. WRITERS clearly preferred a general YR week. For both groups, a YR women week comes in third, and rarepair week is fourth.

All types of weekly writing challenges suggested scored similarly.

(I know some of these seem contradictory, which I why I'll make the second post explaining how I calculated these rankings and why -for example- Author Interviews are both the most AND the least popular event for writers ;) )

SUGGESTIONS

A lot of people wrote in suggestions, which I was SUPER happy about (I closed the form now but if you have any more, please just hit my inbox or DM me at @hilliska). A few people also offered to help, which I'm definitely gonna hold you to when decisions are starting to get made! ;)

Many people were excited about possible collabs between writers and artists.

"What about a "finish your draft/wip" or "write a new chapter on a wip". I have so many languishing WIPs…" I think this is an EXCELLENT idea tbh - though we could incorporate it in the big bang by allowing wips as well. Also, as an FYI, there is also a (non-fandom-specific) Finish Your Shit-Big Bang that takes place every year (though this year's round is close to posting already) ;).

"I’d also love to see more Podfic in this fandom, but I don’t know how that could be an event." I have zero experience with podfic but this does sound (ha!) like it could be fun. Maybe someone has experience with this from a different fandom? (honestly I'd love to experiment with this so hmu)

"Authors sign up to take one shot requests or readers get to write a prompt. Or if readers could submit or vote on prompts or something? Or readers submit a song and author writes a one shot based on a song. Something like that where readers can be involved too :)" We could also easily incoporate this in a big bang - do a prompt bang or a reverse bang (fic based on art) for example? Or maybe involve readers in the weekly challenges, by suggesting tropes/words/... ?

"Write a comment on a fic-week!" Yessss!!!! I am like... 95% sure there is a tumblr-wide event for this already but I can't for the life of me find it. So I could signal boost that or yeah, we could just pin a day ourselves :).

"Group chat/watch" I'm afraid I'm not the right person to organize this kind of thing, but if you've been thinking of doing this and you were afraid no one would be interested - this is your sign!! ;)

"live writing event" Same as above - though I do think there's some discords where this happens already?

"Some sort of collab, where authors get to write a fic together." This could definitely be fun! There is currently one that originated on Twitter called Unlabeled - I don't know all the writers but I recognize at least @yourdemiurge, @skydragon05, @1-life-to-give, and @in-amor-veritas. Which obviously doesn't help if you're a writer wanting to collab, but at least there's people with experience in this fandom ;).

"Maybe a poetry week?" I don't even write poetry but I'm obsessed with this suggestion. Could also be a writing challenge? Not sure about a whole week either, but there's World Poetry Day in March so maybe that can be a mini-event?

"Something not fic centered? Like fanart, edits, cosplay etc." This is one of those things that I'm throwing out there for other people to run with, maybe, because. Well, I'm a writer and I know fic, but I really don't know much about the rest... Which is not to say I don't want to (help) run anything like this because it definitely could be fun, but it's a little out of my wheelhouse. But maybe @youngroyalsfanartarchive can help or knows people who would?

And now what??

Consider the below not as a definitive list but as a stream-of-consciousness conversation starters, so don't hesitate to send me your thoughts.

I will definitely do a Big Bang. Prompt-based or art-based or wip-based or something else remains to be decided, but this will happen. It will not happen NOW, however, because we don't know when season 3 will air. Big Bangs are big events, they ask a lot from writers, and if the s3 premiers at any time between signups and publications, it's going to make everything more difficult. But there was sufficient interest by writers to participate, so once we got a s3 date I want to put a timeline on this.

I'm talking with people about a possible YR women's week. The general/Wilmon week scored higher in the polls, but since we already had that in spring I'd like to switch it up a little.

I would like to do *something* for the anniversary of s2. Don't want to go regular theme week for this because of the above possibility, but maybe the not-fic-centered event could be good for this - we could do favorite episode/favorite non-wilmon character/... which are things that non-content-creators can also participate in by writing a short paragraph, reblogging gifsets/art of that episode/character, ... "Finish your wip" would also be a good one for this though :)

The people behind the 2023 Secret Santa will not organize one this year, but I don't really want to jump in that, necessarily, because there's enough other possibilities and they might be back. But a Valentine fic exchange could maybe work?

The advent calendar idea drew mixed reactions (maybe because it's less well known?) and while I do think it could be fun, there's enough other things that people are excited about, so I'm putting it in the freezer for now.

The weekly challenges also drew mixed reactions - both readers and writers were excited to see them happen, but only a third of writers said they would definitely/probably participate. Then again, half of them said they would POSSIBLY participate. Maybe because it's an ongoing thing, so they don't want to promise they'd participate EACH WEEK but only sometimes? So I'm not sure about this (also because it would significantly up the time required to maintain the blog). So I'd love more feedback on this to see which shape or form you guys would like this to take.

Fic recs scored solidly in the middle of the possibilities for both reader and writers. I wanted to include it because I was curious, but I'm a little hesitant to really do something with it, mostly because it often ends up being a popularity contest and. Well. We already know how to sort by kudos/comments on AO3. So I'm curious to hear other people's experiences on how to maybe circumvent that.

The Author Interviews were the most contested event - even (or rather *especially* among writers (and I secretly think it's hilarious the most wanted event by writers is the one that doesn't require them to write at all :D). I do think it could be fun (though I admit this is a format mostly geared towards writers) to help other writers to find other people to collaborate with, find betas, learn about different writing processes, ... And a self-rec feature would allow for fic recs without the popularity factor. So I'll most likely run this as a (bi-)weekly feature alongside the other events.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

CFWC Writer of the Month - June 2023: peonyblossom

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @peonyblossom We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: peonyblossom Blog Masterlist AO3

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Peony, Jay, or Ethan

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I started playing Choices when it was first introduced after I saw the promos on HSS and HWU. Ofc the first book I played was High School Story!! 

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the Choices fandom because of Thomas Hunt LMAO. After playing the Thomas dates in HWU, I looked him up on Tumblr to see if there was any fan content, and there was (HUGE shoutout to @lovealexhunt and @gutsfics because their works were the first ones I saw). Through following a few Thomas Hunt fan accounts, I found some other stuff in the fandom, like CFWC, and decided to read some other really popular stories, and it just snowballed lol.

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

I wanted something that wasn’t fandom-specific so I could post content for any of the many fandoms I’m in. And peonies are my favorite flower! 

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

The first first post in my archive is a reblog of a One Direction fanfic. My first original post was about the show Miraculous Ladybug. 

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Ooh. A long time. Sixth or seventh grade, so nine or ten years? 

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

My favorite Choices book is America’s Most Eligible, but my favorite book to write about is Red Carpet Diaries/Hollywood U. I think I just like reading and writing about stories in the film industry since that’s what I do, lol. 

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

Waiting Game / peonyblossom / AO3

I still like it! But, if I were writing it today, I would probably make it third person instead of first. It’s still cute, though!

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Okay, probably a tie between What If It’s Now? and Love Lost.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

I think there are a few I thought would’ve gotten a little more attention when I first posted them, but by now, I don’t really think that anymore. 

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

FLUFF. I mean, I pretty much only write fluff right now; I just love it so much! 

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Oh yeah. I think I see myself the most in my RCD/HWU MC, Jackie. In the HWU Universe, she’s a film student, like me, and in both universes, she’s an actor, like me! 

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Finding the time to do it 🥲 Other than that, probably just get started. I tend to psych myself out, especially with bigger projects. 

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

So. Many.

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 

It depends on who it is, but I’d probably let them. As for what I’d recommend, it also depends on the person. Honestly, might just send them my AO3 and let them decide ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing? 

Probably more than I know! I’m sure there are plenty of authors who influence me subconsciously. But, I would say I tend to be influenced by classic novels like The Great Gatsby and The Picture of Dorian Gray.

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

Forever Sounds Perfect! I would love to just watch Ethan propose to Sydney 🥺

17- Do you write original fiction? 

Yeah! I mostly do screenwriting, but I also do fiction and poetry writing. 

18 -  What other hobbies do you have?

Hiking, reading, and yoga!

19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

🥰 or 🫶

[bigskydreaming]

Last reblog - I’ll never forget one of my first interactions when getting into Batfandom again online around 2018 or 2019 or whenever I started being active in Batfandom on this blog.....I was reading a very popular prompt-response fic on Ao3, where one chapter was the author responding to a prompt to do a more cathartic take on Dick reuniting with his brothers post-Spyral.

For whatever reason, this author’s idea of a better version of this still had Dick getting punched by Jason, just then immediately make up with him afterwards, so I guess a speedrun from punch to ‘glad you’re alive’ is better, as long as the important part is Dick still gets punched? LMAO. Yeah, no. I don’t know about the person who gave the initial prompt, but I sure as hell didn’t find anything cathartic about a writer doubling down on the idea that Dick still ‘deserved’ to be greeted with violence because he’d emotionally hurt his brothers and so physical and emotional payback is necessary to balance the scales.

And I didn’t even leave a comment on the fic where it might start something publicly, I VERY politely just private messaged asking them if they’d CONSIDER posting some kind of headsup on that chapter, that it still contained Dick getting punched out on his return from Spyral by one of his siblings....because that’s not something people interested in the specific prompt of ‘cathartic take on Dick reuniting more happily with his brothers post-Spyral’ are likely expecting y’know? 

And look, for as much as Batfandom - ESPECIALLY Jason stans, which I’m pretty sure this particular writer was, primarily a Jason and Tim fan even if they did write fic for the whole Batfam - likes to go on about the tragedy and trauma of physical abuse, there is VERY little consideration in this fandom for the fact that abuse....and in specific, mentalities ABOUT abuse - can be triggering as well! Its not just stuff like sexual assault that can trigger people who are abuse AND/OR rape survivors. So I very politely and civilly, without making insinuations, accusations, attacks, etc, tried to point out that for some fans who’re abuse survivors who are disturbed by how casual and even outright permissive DC canon tends to be about physical abuse between family members, reinforcing the idea that Dick was OWED physical harm by his family to make up for his perceived crimes against them in the Forever Evil/Spyral stuff could legitimately be triggering.....

b/c it feeds into and even validates a lot of the exact same bullshit we were fed by family members justifying their own acts of harm or violence against us ‘because we deserved it.’

And I fucking AGONIZED over this message before sending it, FYI. It was before any of my overly aggressive or antagonistic tumblr posts on these topics, with a lot of my ire in those posts born FROM how all this (and other similar events) played out, but I pored over it before sending it, making sure I was being as diplomatic as possible, because I don’t know this author other than her work, I don’t know her experiences, who she is as a person, nor did I particularly CARE....I wasn’t trying to say or presume ANYTHING about that person, I was strictly interested in just getting some kind of optimal outcome from messaging them, ie getting them to reconsider their viewpoint there or at least include some kind of tag or message clarifying what the author meant by cathartic with that chapter & that it might not be as different from canon as readers might assume or hope.

Because literally my only endgoal in sending that message was so hopefully other abuse survivors didnt stumble into the exact sort of fic they - like I - might be coming to because they were seeking catharsis to MAKE UP FOR the fucked up view canon expressed about how Dick’s first encounter with his brothers post-Forever Evil should play out. 

Instead of just getting more of the same, with FURTHER validation of how he deserved that.

Of course, no matter how much I tried to ensure my message was received in the spirit it was intended....that’s not the outcome I got.

No, instead this author UNLOADED on me in her response, putting me on blast for daring to call her an abuse apologist and being a toxic stan who would make insinuations and attacks and basically call her a bad person just because I didn’t like how she treated my fave. And she definitely shared this and vented about me to all her friends, despite me making a point to message her in private rather than leave this in the comments for everyone to see, because for WEEKS afterwards I was seeing vagueblogs that were very clearly about my message, even including references to specific phrases I’d included in my message, and I heard from others that there were similar jokes and shit made about me in discord servers, etc.

All because I’d dared ask a writer to give people a headsup that they were doubling down on what some fans felt there was reason to view as validating a potentially abusive instance - ie a character accepting physical violence as penance for how he made his brothers feel.

And this, like that last reblog also said in its own examples - is EXACTLY why don’t like don’t read and curating your own content is BULLSHIT. Because it presumes that people KNOW when they’re endorsing or validating or justifying stuff that other people have ABSOLUTELY JUSTIFIED REASONS for viewing as harmful or toxic....and that they tag or warn appropriately.

And it further presumes that when informed that they might even UNINTENTIONALLY be perpetuating harm with a specific viewpoint or depiction of something.....that there is ever any kind of guarantee that they will accept this information or perspective gracefully, instead of perceiving it as an attack on their PERSON and innate goodness or whatever.

No matter HOW someone goes about trying to convey this perspective, either aggressively or with the utmost attempt at civility and diplomacy.

And nine out of ten times this escalates. Again, no matter HOW a person went about asking for a specific tag or to consider a specific viewpoint - which, y’know, when politeness only earns you escalation from people who won’t let shit go because they feel PERSONALLY ATTACKED by you saying hey maybe you’re not actually unproblematic in every view you’ve ever had....MAYBE there’s a reason why after YEARS of trying politeness or civility, people stop bothering with it and just say hey fuck you for this shitty viewpoint or depiction.....

But from my experience, nine out of ten times even a completely conciliatory approach only earns you vitriol and escalation from people who will absolutely go on the attack, grab all their friends, and freaking dogpile even on self-acknowledged survivors just asking you to consider adding some freaking TAGS....

Because some of you would rather throw survivors under the bus WHILE exploiting the hell out of knowing one who agrees with you (despite our experiences not being monolithic, sure is funny how the ones you agree with have in YOUR eyes the universally acceptable stance on stuff)....

Rather than just....

Sit with the idea that maybe you at some point in your life have unintentionally perpetuated a toxic or harmful mindset that you inherited or learned from previous generations, the media, or other people in your life, and didn’t think to question it because you personally had never experienced a reason TO question it before now.

LOL its funny, and I say its funny when its really not but lol you laugh so you dont scream am I right? Iykyk. But its funny how years later even just THINKING about this one fucking message I sent and what it got me in return has my hands shaking so bad its taking me three times longer than it should to write this post. I’ve had to get up and walk around at least twice to get my thoughts in order so I could finish it.

And here’s the part so many smug assholes over the years just willfully refuse to understand. I’m not TRIGGERED thinking about this cuz I’m oh so fragile. And frankly, it’d be fine if I WAS, whatever that happens to mean in your eyes, I’m just clarifying, its not the case here. LMAO. I didn’t survive a childhood of physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse, I didn’t survive being gaybashed and assaulted in college, I didn’t survive years of shitty experiences as a sex worker, my fucking jaw collapsing because of longterm physical consequences of being attacked.....

By being nearly as fucking fragile as some people on this site like to convince themselves I am when I get worked up about stuff like this.

My hands aren’t shaking because I can’t handle reminders of what I’ve been through or whatever people convince themselves of while telling each other in their discord server that I really should just stay away from content I can’t deal with.

I’m fucking vibrating like I’m Wally West because years after this stupid, should have been nothing message I tried so hard to make informative and personal instead of aggressive and accusatory......

I’m still PISSED.

At how STUPID all of this is. At how HYPOCRITICAL some of you are. At how I’ve made a point practically my entire time in fandom, to be open and forthcoming about my past and traumas because if I’m going to be in fandoms obsessed with male rape survivor characters and abuse I’d rather at least let my perspective be available as a RESOURCE if anyone wants it than just stew in how I feel every time I come across a post or fic I don’t think has the slightest awareness of how its coming across.....

And the sheer volume of times I’ve had people coo at me and ooh and aww about how sorry they are for what I’ve been through like that’s REMOTELY why I talk about these topics or what I’m looking for.....

Only to see those exact same people turn around and mock me behind my back, spread lies about me, attempt to gaslight me at every possible turn into thinking I’M the problem, if I would just quietly and passively accept that people are going to reinforce and validate the very mindsets that led people to do certain shit to me in the past, that some people are interested in GETTING OFF to these mindsets, well then everyone would just be so much happier....

And meanwhile, I’ve made post after post after post about my experiences or perspectives as a male survivor that I can’t even hit double digits on, note wise, even as the stupidest of my shitposts hit triple digits and more....

When the ONLY reason I post about those topics is not because I’m interested in being any kind of authority on male rape, childhood abuse, incest, etc, or think I ever possibly COULD be just because I’m one person these things happened to, but merely because if the conversations about them are going to CONSTANTLY be happening around me whether I want them to or not, I’d at least rather have my voice be INCLUDED and CONSIDERED in those conversations instead of just having to sit there LISTENING to people offer up uninformed opinions with complete certainty they know everything that’s ever been worth THINKING about in terms of that topic and if there’s anything else, well its obviously not important or else their enlightened asses would have already instinctively known it, wouldn’t they.....

My god. Its infuriating.

And hell, I’m KEENLY aware that even with all that, I’d still loaded to the brim with cis white male privilege, so trust me when I say I TRULY do not understand how some of my friends who have to deal with shithead hypocrisy on axes I don’t have any experience on, on a DAILY basis on this site and others, put up with some of you. And its why I will ALWAYS side with them no matter how ‘aggressive’ they’re being in the face of some faux-civil asshat crying fake tears about how they’ve been accused of being a heinous person which of course justifies anything and everything they say and do in response now.

But yeah. The hypocrisy of people. The fake ‘I care so much about survivors that I’m going to make this one a running joke on my blog because he dared make me THINK about the content I churn out every week to entertain myself and my friends, the GALL.’

That’s the shit that gets me. That keeps me from joining servers myself, that has me wary of even DMing with people I only know from their notifications on my posts, because I’ve got zero interest in having a fun headcanon chat session with someone who will two days later be faux-sympathetically vagueblogging with a friend how its so sad how I can’t move past certain things or let them go even though they’re part of the reason I’m constantly re-exposed to stuff even just in the tags people add TO MY OWN POSTS.

All because some people on here are so fucking TERRIFIED of what they might find if they ever tried a little serious self-examination, they’d rather reduce self-professed survivors to tragic victims while being fully prepared to vilify them the SECOND they say something a little too real or paint a picture someone doesn’t want to see themselves in.

Because god forbid some of you figure out how to just say....

”I’m sorry. What you brought up made me insecure and nervous when I thought about how many people I might have unintentionally hurt over the years while thinking I was just having fun with my friends, so I lashed out.”

Or “I didn’t know how to handle not being as thoughtful or informed as I like to think I am, so I made you the enemy instead.”

Or “I didn’t want you to be right so I made sure I believed you were wrong.”

Or “I was immature and not ready to tackle the work this might mean I needed to do on myself, so I pretended I couldn’t see it.”

I mean, after all, the ONLY thing I ever expected or hoped for - or hell, NEEDED - from that one writer I raised as an example, from years ago - was just a simple:

“I’m sorry, I literally just never thought about it that way before but I’ll add a note so people know that’ll be in the fic.”

That’s it. That’s all that was ever needed. I didn’t need or want their life story, their penance, them to fall over themselves making it about me or my trauma just because I brought it up, I didn’t expect them to shift their whole worldview from a single message.

Just a simple acknowledgment that I and my viewpoint were not unreasonable, and hey, maybe they’re not perfect and there’s still more work to be done on some mindsets or viewpoints they’ve always taken for granted.

The end.

(Or at least, it could’ve been).

[mylittleredgirl]

20 questions for fic writers

thanks @annerbhp for the tag! i really enjoyed reading her answers too!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

215

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

646,705 (average of 3k per fic, which sounds about right)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

stargate atlantis most often, followed by sg-1, various star treks, and the x-files (with other miscellaneous fandoms on demand for exchanges and gifts).

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

No Sooner Met (voyager, janeway/chakotay)

Career Day (sg-1, mini!otp)

Next Chapter (the good place, chidi/eleanor)

First Date (voyager, janeway/chakotay) editor's note: man my title game was weak in my voyager era

Occupational Hazards (the good place, chidi/eleanor)

it's so funny to spend my online time in small or inactive fandoms and look at statistics because i'm like yeah... i'm kind of a big deal... people know me... i have many leather-bound volumes... and not a single one of my fics crack 300 kudos (& very few over 100). the person i reblogged from topped out over 9,000! what's it like to write long fics for popular fandoms? is it cool?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do now! and it's awesome! for a long time i was intimidated by praise and had a hard time responding, but my brain works now and i really enjoy exchanging comments that turn into long threads of headcanon back-and-forth and sometimes new friends.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh god PLEASE let me unburden my soul about Twilight (sga, john/elizabeth). it's so uncharacteristically hopeless for me -- far future fic, complicated family dynamics, elizabeth has dementia and john is estranged from their son... really no one is having a good time. i think it's interesting and a cool departure from my usual writing style, but it's also a big sad mess.

i still feel sooooo guilty about these two thousand words of misery that i REGULARLY think about writing a sequel where john and his son fix it with time travel and mend fences. like i lie awake at night worrying about these characters because one time in 2007 i didn't give them a happy ending and suggested john might not break the bad father generational cycle. normal fic writer behavior.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Weaving Loose Ends (sg-1, sam/jack)! i love happy and hopeful endings but i think of all of them, this one is the most resolved and least complicated.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

nope. oh!!!! there was the one time when i caused Big Drama in a corner of the Dancing With The Stars fandom by turning people's headcanons into rpf, which everyone liked until one included porn. people got so heated with each other over this one smut fic (doxing! splinter factions! a fandom schism!) but somehow no one was ever actually mean to me. i didn't even get blocked or banned for my rpf transgressions, i was just standing there at the eye of the storm. so... i guess the answer is still no??

9. Do you write smut?

yes! i should probably write more, though. it has been all slow and gauzy the past few years, somebody should really get railed pretty soon.

10. Do you write crossovers?

nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so. happily toiling in obscurity.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

back in the x-files days i think someone translated some of my doggett/reyes fics for a spanish archive, so those might still be out there.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no i haven't!! i am really not doing well collecting my fic writer girl scout badges here!!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

john sheppard/elizabeth weir my beloved.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

i have 10k of an sg-1 episode-by-episode soulmate fic that started really strong and i would love to share someday, but i lack staying power so it will surely just go to seed in my dropbox forever!!

16. What are your writing strengths?

hopefully character complexity and dialogue. dialogue is interesting in fanfic, because the dialogue on many TV shows is really different than how real humans speak (it's scripted to be clearer, more concise and direct, uninterrupted, etc), so it's a fun challenge to balance that and get something that sounds both in-character and realistic.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

long fics!

the big related weakness is that i find it incredibly difficult to keep writing on a fic after i show it to anyone (as a sneak peek, or because i want feedback / encouragement / brainstorming help). i lose steam on my own, but posting or inviting other people into the process is like pouring sugar in the gas tank. why is that!! how do i fix this!!!

and i don't know if this is a "writing weakness" or an "egregious personal character flaw" but i sure did finish an exchange fic this year literally forty seconds before reveals, so that's... pretty bad.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

SO SCARY aughhhh my fear of Being Wrong really nukes me here. it doesn't even have to be a real language. it's like the ghost of JRR Tolkein himself is standing over my shoulder telling me that if i don't backwards engineer an entire proto-latinate space language instead of just chucking words into google translate and calling it Ancient i'm committing unpardonable sins.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

star trek! first internet-published fics were x-files, but first limited-print-edition fics were xeroxed hand-bound voyager stories my sister and i would give as "gifts" to family friends (and then stand there staring at them while they read the first few pages and told us how clever and creative we were and promised to "read the rest later").

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

new answer! i have always answered this before with ain't no sunshine (sga, john/elizabeth) or career day (sg-1, mini!otp), but i think i really stuck the landing this year on pieces (sga, john/elizabeth). which, incidentally, is the one i finished forty seconds before reveals so i'm definitely not going to learn anything from that narrow escape.

tagging @ussjellyfish if you haven't already done this one, @coraclavia, @havocthecat, @lonesomehighways, and anyone else who made it through this long post and would like to do it!

[astrabear]

Thoughts on sun/moon symbolism?

What a fascinating question to get with no context whatsoever! I have no idea how to answer it. Do you mean in general? In literature? In fandom? In The Old Guard in particular? Or just any thoughts I might happen to have lying around like spare change?

I'm going to go with the spare change approach.

First, a slight tangent: I got into the Old Guard fandom after having never been involved in fandom in more than a superficial way before. This means, for example, that I had no idea what the common fanfic tropes were. I'd see something and be like "my goodness! How creative! However did they think of that?" and it took a while to realize that's just, like, a thing that everyone knows about. "An AU in which one of them is a florist and the other a tattoo artist, that's interesting, I wonder what the draw was of those particular jobs..."

Anyway I saw a lot of sun/moon symbolism in art and fic, and sure, that makes sense, Joe calls Nicky "the moon when I'm lost in darkness," I dig it, it seems pretty popular. Then I joined tumblr (I started reading fic in summer 2020, joined a TOG Discord server in fall 2020, and didn't create a tumblr account until fall 2021. And I discovered that sun/moon symbolism is also a fandom thing, and people apply it to characters even when one of them doesn't call the other the moon. There was even a sun/moon character poll and I got very melodramatic about it just because it was a fun community bonding event.

But the thing is... after more than three years of TOG activity and especially after more than two years on tumblr and seeing how much of what happens in TOG happens elsewhere... I really don't have a whole lot of interest in tropes that tend to force characters into opposites/binaries. Joe = sun = warm, bright, passionate, loud, cheerful/ Nicky = moon = cool, pale, calm, quiet, inexpressive... they are so similar. They really really are. (They are also not the main characters and appear in a single two-hour movie, so most conclusions about their personalities and habits are extrapolated from very small details. Let's be honest, we've thought way more about this stuff than the writer and actors did and most of it is only one step above 'made up'.)

Also one of my pet peeves hates pet peeves is people trying to force these guys into some kind of weird heteronormative funhouse-mirror version of themselves that's just an awful tangle of misogyny and homophobia and racism. "Let's cast them as opposites" tends to overlap a little with this approach (so then you also get Joe = big, dominant, masculine, aggressive/ Nicky = small, submissive, feminine, meek) and that just makes me even more suspicious of the whole thing.

So... yeah. Those are my thoughts. I will say we've gotten some lovely fan art out of it.

[wyntereyez]

GalaxyCon

I should probably post about GalaxyCon before I forget everything, huh? 

My first day was Saturday and I. Was not prepared. Most of the cons I’ve attended are fandom-specific, and can draw large crowds, but nothing compared to this. According to a news article the next day, there were some 50,000 attendees.

I’d originally only planned to go Saturday, but then Colin’s panel was announced for Sunday, so I got another ticket for then. Saturday was spent beating my way through the crowds (or, more accurate, being beaten) - and getting my photo op with Colin.

It’s been four years since I’d last seen him at Enchanted 2, and damn, he looked amazing. The op was brief, because they do thousands of photos in one day, so I barely had time to do more than say ‘hi’ and ‘thank you.’ He thanked me for coming, and at that point I remembered just how blue his eyes were, and how lovely that Irish brogue is, since it’s currently very thick after being in Ireland for so long. Yup, I still swoon for Colin.

I didn’t get an autograph, but a friend did, and I hung around in line with her until were almost to Colin. His line was so long, it wrapped into the next aisle. I’m not sure the staff anticipated his popularity. And while I was in line, someone told Colin how long his line was, and he gave a little “Yeah!” and put up his arms.

Then we have the Sunday panel. I’m trying to remember as much as I can, but I know I’ll miss things. I’ll put it under a cut, since this is starting to run long.

First of all, kudos to the panel moderator, who helped rephrase questions and guide Colin so he could follow strike rules. That can’t have been easy, so good on GalaxyCon for being prepared and still being able to give us a great panel experience.

Colin was introduced as that actor from That Show, and That Other Show, and That One Movie, etc. At some point, OUAT became ‘The Thing,’ and now I want to embrace that as the show’s alternate title. Also, that would be an awesome crossover.

Anyway... We got a brief introduction, and Colin talked about how hot it was (it had been well over 90 degrees, with a Real Feel of over a hundred, on the day he arrived) and how he’d chosen to wear a suit jacket over his t-shirt and had Regrets.

He apologized for if he was difficult to understand, because he knew how thick his accent was, but someone yelled out they loved it, which he then said was why he brought it up, because he wanted people to say that.

He also said he was doing the panel because he liked having people tell him how great he was, to which the moderator had the entire crowd yell out, “You’re great!”

Then we got to the most bizarre mix of questions I’ve ever heard, and it was wonderful. Things we learned included:

- Colin owns 30 guitars, one of which belonged to Ringo Starr. He has another one that belonged to someone famous, but I can’t remember whom

- If he were a dog breed, he’d be a black Labrador retriever mix

- If he were a comic book superhero (the comic part is very important) he’d want to be Batman. He wanted to be Superman once, but now he wants to be Batman. He earned a blue candy for this, which he promptly put in his mouth with predictable results. Dude, don’t eat candy when you know you’re gonna have questions, LOL.

- Voice acting roles aren’t taboo, so he talked a bit about how different it was to voice Douxie, and how different it was to do dialogue in a booth because he had to be more dynamic rather than speak normally. He also at one point did a bit of Gerry the Leprechaun for us.

- Colin was asked about his feelings on ‘Rise of the Titans.’ He said he enjoyed it, then said he trusted the writers to know what’s best for the characters. I’m not sure if that’s how he really felt, or if he’s just being careful.

- If he were two scoops of ice cream, he’d be pistachio and vanilla - the real vanilla, with the bean.

- He likes pineapple on pizza. He will accept no criticism of this.

- If that one character with the thing on his hand had a dog breed, it would be a black Labrador retriever mix.

- Something he did for The Thing was play INXS’s ‘Need You Tonight’ and did a little strut while wearing the coat. Colin demonstrated. I died.

- When asked what comic villain he would want to be, he said the Joker. This earned him a green candy. He ate it, though he also said he didn’t care for the candy. Colin, why.

- If he could have one mythical creature as a pet, it would be Cerberus. But the heads would be black Labrador retriever mixes. I’m starting to think Colin really loves his dog.

- At one point, Colin said he was having a lot of trouble with this, and that he was worried he’d say the wrong thing. The panel mod assured him that he was doing well. I felt bad for him, because yeah, this can’t have been easy.

- Colin was asked what his most ridiculous phobia is. Colin answered that he fears NOTHING. Except panels.

- When asked if he still talks to people from The Thing, he said a very firm but teasing NO - then proceeded to list a number of people that he does, in fact, talk to.

- Then there’s the beard... at the end of the panel, he said he can’t talk about it, but there’s a reason he has the ‘stupid beard.’ He really doesn’t like it, and it’s kind of hilarious that thanks to the strike, he’s kinda stuck with it for an indeterminate period of time.

And that’s all I remember. If you have more, please add to this post!

[greenhikingboots]

Chispas's Prompt! Obviously! 😁

Haha. Obviously! About this post. I'm going to keep the original ficlet prompt in my inbox so I can eventually reply to it. So that others can start to envision where this is heading, I'm also going to copy/paste it here. And then the first section of what I've written so far will be below the cut. Prompt: Two popular fan-fic writers for the same fandom. Sansa writes sweet modern aus with a fair amount of smut, while Jon is a canon stickler who never has any romance. While on Sansa's laptop one day, one of her friends (I don't care who) leaves a comment on one of Jon's fics asking when x & y are going to kiss already, or something like that. You know...hi-jinks ensue.

Sansa Stark sits cross-legged in the living room she shares with her sister, peering at her reflection in an antique, floor full-length mirror she bought a few months earlier. It dominates the corner where she most likes to get ready — creates the perfect spot for her ritualistic preening and primping ahead of a fun night out. Tonight, for instance, Sansa’s celebrating her birthday with the rest of her family. They’ll soon be dining at one of Winterfell’s highest rated restaurants, The Glass Garden. “This place looks pretentious,” Arya says. She’s sprawled across the couch behind Sansa, most of her body visible in the mirror so long as Sansa tilts her head to the right. When she does, she sees Arya scrolling on her phone, presumably looking at the restaurant's menu. Instead of replying, Sansa shakes her head and continues curling her hair. It’s true she picked somewhere fancy for her twenty-fifth birthday, but, hey, a quarter of a century is a big damn deal, isn't it? She refuses to let Arya make her feel guilty about that. “This salmon dish sounds good, though,” Arya mutters after a moment. And then, without warning, she lets her phone drop to her stomach and says, “Hey, Robb invited Jon. Did he tell you?” Sansa’s heart nearly leaps out of her chest. She’s known Jon Snow, her brother’s best friend, for as long as she can remember. But it has only been since moving back to Winterfell after graduate school that she’s really started to notice him. At first, it was Jon’s improved looks and increased confidence that caught Sansa’s attention. Shallow stuff she told herself she’d be able to dismiss after a week or two of practicing. But then, during the practicing, more and more of Jon’s positive traits stood out. There’s a long list of them. He’s a good listener, a hard worker, and a generous tipper. He loves animals and his mother too. He asks clever questions and makes clever observations. He sticks up for outcasts and underdogs. And his smile — It’s cliche to say that when Jon smiles, he lights up the room. But because his smiles are so hard-won, Sansa’s starting to believe some cliches are true. And Seven save her when she's actually the one to cause Jon’s smile. Sansa pictures it now, without really meaning to, then tries not to smile at her own reflection in the mirror. Arya doesn’t know about her crush on Jon, and that’s how she’d like to keep it. “No, Robb didn’t tell me,” she replies. “But that’s fine. Jon’s practically family too.” Arya nods sagely, like maybe she’s crediting herself for setting a good example — she accepted Jon as family long before Sansa ever did — then begins scrolling on her phone once more. It’s five minutes later, when Sansa’s finished her hair and moved onto her makeup, that Arya breaks their silence, this time saying something totally mundane. “So, uh, I just got an email I need to reply to. It’s too much to type on my phone, so can I use your laptop instead?” Arya’s own laptop is in her bedroom, not far away, but since Sansa can see hers tucked in the corner of their couch, next to Arya’s feet, she grants the favor. “Yeah, sure. Go for it,” she says. Sansa doesn’t think any more about it until a certain sequence of noises piques her interest. After the clattering of Arya’s fingertips slows down, the clicking of the touchpad speeds up. There are so many clicks, in fact, that it seems like Arya’s comparing items on different tabs or following links in search of some hidden answer. After a glance in the mirror at her little sister, it’s more than Sansa's interest that is piqued. It's her nervousness. “Why are you grinning?” she asks. “No reason,” Arya chirps. But she’s fighting back a laugh and smashing the laptop closed as fast as she can. Lying, obviously.