#Angel doesn't date

[ineffablydelighted]

[Cute Omens #4]

[Also called: Crowley gets j-e-a-l-o-u-ssss]

Right before Aziraphale leaves for Edimburg, ready to get inside the Bentley

Maggie: Oh, Mister Fell, wait! *runs towards him*

Aziraphale: Yes, Maggie? Hello?

Maggie: I just wanted to tell you again how grateful I am for... You know... *awkward shoulder balancing and smile* Not collecting the rent.

Aziraphale: *soft smile of an Angel* My pleasure, Maggie! No need to thank me everyday 😊

Maggie: You... You don't get it, do you?

Aziraphale: I... I'm not sure, now?

Maggie: Nobody does that anymore... People like you, I mean. They do no exist anymore. People are more like... your... *unsure but tries* boyfriend.

Aziraphale: Crowley? Oh, no, Maggie, you've got the wrong idea, Crowley is a very nice... *very long pause* friend... of mine? *shy smile*

Maggie: F-friend of yours? Oh, oh my, I am so sorry, I've... got the wrong idea, um... It's just that... I see him with you so often, and you are- and I just figured- Nevermind.

Aziraphale: *his smile starts to display some hints of regret without him realizing*

Maggie: Listen, Mister Fell, it is most probably not my place, but... In case you wanted to... You know, live something less... "friendly", I might know someone who might be... interested?

Aziraphale: *sudden flashes of Maggie's grandmother hitting on him* O-Oh? You do?

Maggie: You... Remember Mister Brown?

Aziraphale: Oh, yes, I saw him yesterday, he asked me to organize the next Monthly Meeting!

Maggie: Didn't he ask... Anything else?

Aziraphale: Not anything of substance I can remember of. Are you... implying he would have wanted to... hum... ask something else to me? *is never comfortable about these things*

Maggie: I think he likes you very much. And... I am sorry to say, again, certainly not my place, but... he might be a... better fit than your... friend.

Aziraphale: *embarrassed laugh* Maggie, truly, you've got the wrong idea about Crowley! He's the nicest person I've ever met *in over 6000 years which is saying something* and the best...*always marks a pause there for some reason* friend I could ever wish for!

Maggie: I understand, really, it's just that you seem... lonely, sometimes?

Aziraphale: Do I?

Maggie: Trust me, I know the feeling!

Aziraphale: *sympathetic smile* Nothing from... Nina?

Maggie: I'd rather not talk about it, it's... painful. Anyway, um... If you wanted to... Talk some more with Mister Brown, I'm pretty sure he would be very pleased!

Aziraphale: Well, I-

Maggie: *runs without warning* Oh, I-I really have to go, have a good trip, Mister Fell!

Aziraphale: *awkward wave**gets in the car* Oh, hello, there. I'm sure we're gonna get along just perfectly! *taps the steering wheel amicably*

Bentley: *activates a random song the second Aziraphale is seated and ready to go*

Oh, how wrong can you be?

Oh, to fall in love was my very first mistake,

How was I to know,

I was far too much in love to see oh

Jealousy,

Look at me now...

The next morning, the Bookshop's bell rings

Mr Brown: Mister Fell? Hello?

Jim: Hello, I'm Jim, Mister Fell's assistant! How can I help you not buying a book?

Mr Brown: Actually, I was hoping I could see Mister Fell himself, if that is...

Crowley: *arrives in style* Mister Fell is not here, who's ask- *stops and looks at him from afar* Oh. You, again? *is unsure why this last word came out of his mouth but still did*

Mr Brown: *startled* Ah, it is... you... Mister...?

Crowley: *reaches his glasses and puts them on**smirks and walks towards him* Crowley. Hello.

Mr Brown: I-I forgot to ask yesterday, you are...?

Crowley: *raises an eyebrow* I... am...?

Mr Brown: *tries to express himself with just the eyes*

Crowley: *does not get it**at all**makes some waves with his chin to signify he needs more details*

Mr Brown: Maybe... that was a mistake...

Crowley: *clueless Demon* A... mistake? What? The monthly meeting?

Mr Brown: N-no! Nothing to do with the monthly meeting! I...

Crowley: You wanted to see Mister Fell about... Not the meeting? Why?

Mr Brown: I... This is... *sighs* Can we, please, stop beating around the bush?

Crowley: *thinks he somewhat starts to get it but remains unsure* Uhhh... Sure...

Mr Brown: Is Mister Fell in a... relationship at the moment?

Crowley: *hesitates for much longer than he expected* Not... that I know of? And, well, I certainly... would know?

Mr Brown: Wait... You're not his... On-and-off partner?

Crowley: *feels something unexpected growing besides astonishment**is it... anger?* I am most certainly not.

Mr Brown: Oh... OH! G-good! I mean, okay! Are you his... cousin or something?

Crowley: *laughs* Hell no! *is tempted to remove his glasses for some reason*

Mr Brown: Business partner?

Crowley: Sort... of... speak?

Mr Brown: Oh, okay, hum... Can you please not tell Mister Fell about our encounter? I feel like I need to ask him out myself, you see?

Crowley: *finally totally gets it* Sorry. Ask him out? As in... Ask him for a date? *chuckles* Oh, no! Angel doesn't date, ever! *has heard the joke of the next three centuries*

Mr Brown: *gets offended**and cold**well, at least he tries* I-I'm sorry to say but that is not on you to decide, is it?

Crowley: *stops laughing out of nowhere and feels the anger taking the lead**approaches him menacingly* Or maybe, just maybe... it is?

Mr Brown: B-but, you said-

Crowley: *even colder voice* I know what I said, I just don't believe you heard me, so let me clarify... *takes him by the collar*

Mr Brown: *gasps*

Crowley: Mister Fell... doesn't... date. *ends up with a creepy smile*

Mr Brown: *muster some courage**looks at Crowley's hands on his vest**looks back at Crowley's glasses* What if he wants to?

Crowley: *gritted teeth* I assure you: he doesn't.

Mr Brown: How would you know that?!

Crowley: I just do.

Jim: *is back or maybe has never left, nobody knows* Uhhhh... Do you need... assistance in anything?

Crowley: *releases Mr Brown with the heaviest, most threatening smirk**turns at Jim* Can you show Mister Brown the exit? We're done here.

Mr Brown: But I...

Crowley: *turns back at him**accidently nose-on-nose* Ou-T.

Mr Brown: *recoils**frowns his brows**but remains intimidated* I guess you have some unfinished business to attend to, Mister Crowley.

Crowley: *looks at his nails* Yeahhh, I most certainly do. Taking care of Mister Fell's things takes such a long time indeed!

Mr Brown: *to Jim* I know the exit, thank you. Good... *to both* Have a... good day.

Crowley: *indifferent* Oh, I will. Taking care of...

Mr Brown: Mister Fell's things. Yes, I caught that.

Jim: Have a good day! *waves enthusiastically*

[The door closes]

Mr Brown: God, these two really need to talk!

***

Navigation time!

[While needing you to consider that, most of the time, the scenes are randomized and do no necessarily follow one another at all]

Previous - Beginning - Next

[dragon-spaghetti]

"I own you, or have you forgotten that?"

Parallel Husk & Alastor piece

(Please click for better quality!!)

[cheeseproducts]

have him home by 8:00 or else

[menelron]

Random Obey me headcannon i have is that angels love music. It's basically instinctual. They love to sing and will do it at the most random times and that the brothers, as newly fallen demons, would accidentally start singing while doing something, giving the demons around them another reason to scrutinize them. And another thing that Satan couldn't relate with, as he never was an angel.

[sharingoreozwithbeelfox]

I'M CACKLING NEVER CHANGE DIAVOLO

[petitprincess1]

[Eating at a restaurant]

Angel Dust: Yoo, that shit was bwussin bwussin.

Cherri Bomb: Forreal forreal!

Sir Pentious: My Lord, these fries are unequivocally fucking bussing!

Angel and Cherri: *wheezing*

[fatherfigureneeded]

i am 110% sure that Lily Evans would love Norman fucking Rockwell by Lana Del Rey. like, screaming the lyrics until her throat is raw type of love. like, top 0.08% of spotify listeners type of love. she wouldn't even listen to that much lana del rey outside of that song, but she has stared at the wall while that song plays.

[hes-sunshine-im-midnight-rain]

Mephistopheles TS playlist in this exact order based on his relationship/breakup with Dia + the last 3 songs on the list are about staring over with MC

Love Story

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

Better than Revenge

Look What You Made Me Do

I Knew You Were Trouble

Cardigan

Red

All Too Well (sad girl autumn version)

Don't You

I Bet You Think About Me

Clean

Begin Again

Delicate

Daylight

My favorite lyrics:

"We were both young when I first saw you" (Love Story) - literally him and Dia at the start

"There is nothing I do better than revenge" - Meph helping Satan and Belphie prank Lucifer

"Look What You Made Me Do" - after the prank he assisted Satan and Belphie with was successful

"A friend to all is a friend to none. Chase two girls demons, lose the one" (Cardigan) - Dia flipflopping between Lucifer and Mephisto playing them both

"Loving him was red" - do I have to explain this?

"gone was any trace of you I think I am finally clean" - Meph getting over and moving on after the breakup with Dia

"I once believed love would be burning red but it's golden like daylight" - Meph starting over with MC or anyone else

[one-winged-dreams]

I took Bee's advice AND made an embarrassing card, SO

SHOVES THIS INTO YOUR MAILBOX AND BOOKS IT

[jabberwockprince]

modern otome games dont do it for me anymore bc even though some of them let you pick pronouns/gender, theyre still heavily written for women (which is fair, its OTOME game for a reason, i stopped being their target demographic years ago) who specifically love to be dominated and/or degrated to different degrees, most of the time being seduced/whisked away lowkey against their will, which leads me to believe modern otome are the equivalent of those books for sexually repressed wives

[hellaversity]

When will the Hazbin fandom collectively agree that Vox and Velvette aren't much better than Valentino morality-wise?

[ridiasfangirlings]

Fushimi filmed Yata sleeping and told him about it. Yata thought that his boyfriend is very cute. After seeing the video, Yata decided that Fushimi was an asshole: there was no picture on the video, but even at the minimum volume level, Yata's deafening snoring could be heard.

That’s how he’s going to shame Yata into closing his mouth when he sleeps XD Imagine him showing this off in public too, like he comes to get Yata at the bar and all the Homra guys are milling around. The Homra alphabet can’t help but notice that Fushimi’s kinda mellowed a bit (for him, anyway) and are teasing Yata about his lovesick boyfriend. Fushimi gets this smug look and adds that he loves Yata so much he even filmed Yata sleeping. Yata’s like wait really and Fushimi says Yata just looked so peaceful, he couldn’t help it. He’s been waking up earlier than Yata lately after all, and he so rarely gets a chance to see Yata so quiet. Yata gets a little blushy as he’s like that’s actually pretty sweet I guess. 

Someone makes a comment about Yata never being quiet and Fushimi pulls out his PDA like here you all can look. He starts the video and imagine it begins with Yata just sleeping so peacefully and quietly, looking relaxed and precious…and then there’s a sudden loud snore, magnified by the relative silence of the rest of the room. Fushimi doesn’t even have his volume up but everyone can hear and imagine Yata’s face getting redder and redder. Bandou snickers and says so Yata really can’t be quiet huh and Yata’s like shut up, trying to grab the PDA from Fushimi who has this big shit-eating grin on his face. Fushimi’s like yes, Misaki is just angelic in his sleep, unfortunately it’s impossible for anyone else to get any sleep around him.

[all-seeing-ifer]

OH NO I THINK I MIGHT HATE THE PUPPET EPISODE ACTUALLY THIS SUCKS

[albonium]

.

[pcrfumebcttles]

I was talking about this with @reds-hub-and-main but one of the biggest pet peeves Allison has is people who think they can "change her."

Whether it be those that think they can "fix" her from being the broken fallen angel that she is, restoring her to her "former glory" and "restoring her lost potential." Taking the credit for "saving her from herself." Just another Romeo in disguise...

Or, alternatively, they'll try to still what's left of her purity. "Corrupt" her and turn her into a twisted seductress of their own making. They'll try to lead her down a dark path only leave her down there and go on to the next conquest.

Basically? Don't go into a relationship thinking you can "change" her. Love her as she is, and as she grows, or just fuck off.

[becca-alexa]

✨personal so read if you want to✨

the people in my immediate circle all think i'm crazy for saying i'd want to be in a relationship for 2-3 years before talking about marriage and i think they're all insane for it but then i remember the average time from strangers to married for them is around 6 months