#Not-his-cousin Crowley

[ineffablydelighted]

[Cute Omens #4]

[Also called: Crowley gets j-e-a-l-o-u-ssss]

Right before Aziraphale leaves for Edimburg, ready to get inside the Bentley

Maggie: Oh, Mister Fell, wait! *runs towards him*

Aziraphale: Yes, Maggie? Hello?

Maggie: I just wanted to tell you again how grateful I am for... You know... *awkward shoulder balancing and smile* Not collecting the rent.

Aziraphale: *soft smile of an Angel* My pleasure, Maggie! No need to thank me everyday 😊

Maggie: You... You don't get it, do you?

Aziraphale: I... I'm not sure, now?

Maggie: Nobody does that anymore... People like you, I mean. They do no exist anymore. People are more like... your... *unsure but tries* boyfriend.

Aziraphale: Crowley? Oh, no, Maggie, you've got the wrong idea, Crowley is a very nice... *very long pause* friend... of mine? *shy smile*

Maggie: F-friend of yours? Oh, oh my, I am so sorry, I've... got the wrong idea, um... It's just that... I see him with you so often, and you are- and I just figured- Nevermind.

Aziraphale: *his smile starts to display some hints of regret without him realizing*

Maggie: Listen, Mister Fell, it is most probably not my place, but... In case you wanted to... You know, live something less... "friendly", I might know someone who might be... interested?

Aziraphale: *sudden flashes of Maggie's grandmother hitting on him* O-Oh? You do?

Maggie: You... Remember Mister Brown?

Aziraphale: Oh, yes, I saw him yesterday, he asked me to organize the next Monthly Meeting!

Maggie: Didn't he ask... Anything else?

Aziraphale: Not anything of substance I can remember of. Are you... implying he would have wanted to... hum... ask something else to me? *is never comfortable about these things*

Maggie: I think he likes you very much. And... I am sorry to say, again, certainly not my place, but... he might be a... better fit than your... friend.

Aziraphale: *embarrassed laugh* Maggie, truly, you've got the wrong idea about Crowley! He's the nicest person I've ever met *in over 6000 years which is saying something* and the best...*always marks a pause there for some reason* friend I could ever wish for!

Maggie: I understand, really, it's just that you seem... lonely, sometimes?

Aziraphale: Do I?

Maggie: Trust me, I know the feeling!

Aziraphale: *sympathetic smile* Nothing from... Nina?

Maggie: I'd rather not talk about it, it's... painful. Anyway, um... If you wanted to... Talk some more with Mister Brown, I'm pretty sure he would be very pleased!

Aziraphale: Well, I-

Maggie: *runs without warning* Oh, I-I really have to go, have a good trip, Mister Fell!

Aziraphale: *awkward wave**gets in the car* Oh, hello, there. I'm sure we're gonna get along just perfectly! *taps the steering wheel amicably*

Bentley: *activates a random song the second Aziraphale is seated and ready to go*

Oh, how wrong can you be?

Oh, to fall in love was my very first mistake,

How was I to know,

I was far too much in love to see oh

Jealousy,

Look at me now...

The next morning, the Bookshop's bell rings

Mr Brown: Mister Fell? Hello?

Jim: Hello, I'm Jim, Mister Fell's assistant! How can I help you not buying a book?

Mr Brown: Actually, I was hoping I could see Mister Fell himself, if that is...

Crowley: *arrives in style* Mister Fell is not here, who's ask- *stops and looks at him from afar* Oh. You, again? *is unsure why this last word came out of his mouth but still did*

Mr Brown: *startled* Ah, it is... you... Mister...?

Crowley: *reaches his glasses and puts them on**smirks and walks towards him* Crowley. Hello.

Mr Brown: I-I forgot to ask yesterday, you are...?

Crowley: *raises an eyebrow* I... am...?

Mr Brown: *tries to express himself with just the eyes*

Crowley: *does not get it**at all**makes some waves with his chin to signify he needs more details*

Mr Brown: Maybe... that was a mistake...

Crowley: *clueless Demon* A... mistake? What? The monthly meeting?

Mr Brown: N-no! Nothing to do with the monthly meeting! I...

Crowley: You wanted to see Mister Fell about... Not the meeting? Why?

Mr Brown: I... This is... *sighs* Can we, please, stop beating around the bush?

Crowley: *thinks he somewhat starts to get it but remains unsure* Uhhh... Sure...

Mr Brown: Is Mister Fell in a... relationship at the moment?

Crowley: *hesitates for much longer than he expected* Not... that I know of? And, well, I certainly... would know?

Mr Brown: Wait... You're not his... On-and-off partner?

Crowley: *feels something unexpected growing besides astonishment**is it... anger?* I am most certainly not.

Mr Brown: Oh... OH! G-good! I mean, okay! Are you his... cousin or something?

Crowley: *laughs* Hell no! *is tempted to remove his glasses for some reason*

Mr Brown: Business partner?

Crowley: Sort... of... speak?

Mr Brown: Oh, okay, hum... Can you please not tell Mister Fell about our encounter? I feel like I need to ask him out myself, you see?

Crowley: *finally totally gets it* Sorry. Ask him out? As in... Ask him for a date? *chuckles* Oh, no! Angel doesn't date, ever! *has heard the joke of the next three centuries*

Mr Brown: *gets offended**and cold**well, at least he tries* I-I'm sorry to say but that is not on you to decide, is it?

Crowley: *stops laughing out of nowhere and feels the anger taking the lead**approaches him menacingly* Or maybe, just maybe... it is?

Mr Brown: B-but, you said-

Crowley: *even colder voice* I know what I said, I just don't believe you heard me, so let me clarify... *takes him by the collar*

Mr Brown: *gasps*

Crowley: Mister Fell... doesn't... date. *ends up with a creepy smile*

Mr Brown: *muster some courage**looks at Crowley's hands on his vest**looks back at Crowley's glasses* What if he wants to?

Crowley: *gritted teeth* I assure you: he doesn't.

Mr Brown: How would you know that?!

Crowley: I just do.

Jim: *is back or maybe has never left, nobody knows* Uhhhh... Do you need... assistance in anything?

Crowley: *releases Mr Brown with the heaviest, most threatening smirk**turns at Jim* Can you show Mister Brown the exit? We're done here.

Mr Brown: But I...

Crowley: *turns back at him**accidently nose-on-nose* Ou-T.

Mr Brown: *recoils**frowns his brows**but remains intimidated* I guess you have some unfinished business to attend to, Mister Crowley.

Crowley: *looks at his nails* Yeahhh, I most certainly do. Taking care of Mister Fell's things takes such a long time indeed!

Mr Brown: *to Jim* I know the exit, thank you. Good... *to both* Have a... good day.

Crowley: *indifferent* Oh, I will. Taking care of...

Mr Brown: Mister Fell's things. Yes, I caught that.

Jim: Have a good day! *waves enthusiastically*

[The door closes]

Mr Brown: God, these two really need to talk!

***

Navigation time!

[While needing you to consider that, most of the time, the scenes are randomized and do no necessarily follow one another at all]

Previous - Beginning - Next

[ineveryfandom]

You know how much i love found family tropes?

Yeah, well, Supernatural embodies that. One the main reasons i love this show sm

[another-random-paradise]

Can you do twst child fem reader who always accidentally calls the dorm leaders dad and clings onto them since they miss their dad and isn’t taking the whole separation thing well please??

Suddenly a father

I am so so sorry this took so long!! I do hope you enjoy it <3 I do have a character limit, so I just picked the ones I had an idea for!!

---------------------------------------------------------

Clingy child!reader calls them dad

Characters: Riddle, Vil, Idia

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: none that I can think of

Riddle

-To say Riddle was concerned when a magicless child suddenly appeared is an understatement, and when Crowley decided to let you live in the Ramshakle dorm, on it's own, aside from Grim, the concern doubled.

-So, he pulled some strings, and now you're staying in heartslabyul! 

-Riddle did act similar to a parental figure. He is rather strict, but certainly not as strict as his mother, and while he does try and teach you all the rules, and the consequences of breaking them, he is much more lenient with you. Ace is jealous

-Chances are, you get a tart for every 15 rules you memorize, or if you've been especially good, you'll get a small tart as a reward!

-Seeing like how much he's acting like a dad, that is what your yet to be fully developed brain perceived him as.

-So, you follow him everywhere, like a lost puppy. It confuses him a bit, but he doesn't stop you, as there isn't a rule forbidding you from doing so! Also, he worries about you whenever you leave his line of sight

-When he hears you call him dad for the first time, he's shocked, to say the least! He is still in college, he has yet to get a stable career, find a suitable partner, buy his own house, hE ISN'T READY TO BE A FATHER!! 

-He is frozen in shocked, leaving you to tuck on his sleeve with a questioning look, till Trey gently suggests that the sudden change must be very hard on you, and that Riddle is the closest thing you currently have to a father 

-It's a realization that hit him hard. Once the Realisation settles in, he doesn't correct you when you do- in fact, he now feels like it's his responsibility to take care of you now. Your parents aren't there, the Headmage isn't trustworthy, and he is the housewarden of the Dorm you're staying in! Plus, it's hard to seperate you from him, without upsetting you, so his fate is sealed anyway-

-Not much changes after, just that he is ever so slightly more caring 

Vil

-He was very shocked to see a child at the entrance ceremony, to say the least. 

-Immediately takes you under his wing, no questions asked. He doesn't know why, but something about you tugged on his heart strings

-you get your own room  at pomefiore, and the students of the Dorm take turns babysitting you- but Vil and rook is the first to volunteer if someone can't take care of you on their assigned day!

-Vil would take care of you everyday, but he's a busy man, he has movies to film, photo shoots to do, a dorm to run, ect... but he does try to be there 

-Has posted you on magicamp, but never your face! He'll only post your face once your old enough to decide and consent! Meanwhile his fans are going crazy, trying to figure out if your his little sibling/cousin or if their favourite star is a teen parent!

-You start to run to, and go with him whenever you can, and if he can't take you with him, you patiently wait till he returns, before practically jumping into his arms 

-He is brushing your hair, getting you ready for bed, when you call him dad. 

-he pauses for a moment, taking by shock, before simply continuing on. He knows he is to young to be a father, not to mention to busy. He knows that you most likely have parents waiting for you at home.. yet he can't bring himself to correct you, while you almost fall asleep as he continues brushing your hair. 

-He supposes that, until a way home for you has been found, he can take on a parently role for you

Idia

-He doesn't even realise you're there until the commotion starts, cause, you know, he isn't physically there. When he does, he doesn't know what to do, so he tries to avoid the situation. 

-But you don't let him, being far to fascinated by the floating Ipad, following him around.

-It gets to a point where Crowley decides that you'll stay at Ignihyde under his watch!.. Idia freezes in shock, he doesn't know how to take care of a child!

-At first you're completely under Ortho's control- Half the dorm can't even take care of themselves, and you expect them to take care of a child? Ortho's the only one there keeping you alive.

-Nonetheless, you keep running to Idia, you don't know why either, something about him just feels like home.

-At first the small, clingy you terrified him, but eventually he gets used to you. He lets you stay in his room when you want to and occasionally shares his snacks with you! 

-After you show an interest in Technology, he teaches you the basics, and lets you watch when he builds something! with proper safety regulations, of course! He is gonna end up turning you into an ipad kid

-It is during one of these lessons that you call him dad. He short-circuts, and Ortho has to catch the tool Idia was holding, before it smashes into the machine- 

-Even after Ortho analyses and explains the situation, he is still in a bit of shock with no idea what to do. He very quietly corrects you, but it's barely audible. Meanwhile Ortho is celebrating having a new family member!

-Every time you call him dad, he freezes up for a moment, before quietly correcting you, only to not be heard :) 

Very fun to write, but I’ll be honest, I’m not around children much, so I don’t really know how they act :,) once again, so sorry you had to wait around a month for this request ^^“

Feedback is welcome, just be nice!!

Hope you have a great day/night <3

[dalliancekay]

Aziraphale does NOT need to suffer MORE

Can't believe I have to say this. TW: grief, mourning, death (sorry) I have, since falling into the fandom 6 months ago to escape real life, seen many takes on how Aziraphale needs to suffer in S3 to match Crowley's suffering. Mainly as the counterpart to the moment Crowley thinks he lost Aziraphale as he's looking for him desperately in the burning bookshop....

...after this he drinks, we suppose, to dull his pain, waiting for the Armageddon. Also, for the way Crowley suffers at the bandstand argument, the 'I Forgive You' moments, which many people find utterly devastating and incredibly heartless from Aziraphale. Not to mention when he doesn't react in the 'right way' to Crowley's confession in the Final 15. And then on top of that, 'abandons' Crowley. For Heaven. Oh and also for, and I quote: "The smug and entitled way Aziraphale went around in S2 assuming Crowley would love and follow him everywhere." And so for all this pain that Crowley endured for him, Aziraphale should suffer in S3 (to I assume) even out the scores. Some people want to see him lose it, show his emotions, to cry or beg or otherwise show how much he misses Crowley and how very sorry he is for what he has (so thoughtlessly) done.

Now for the TW grief content I motioned above. You can skip to the next sentence in bold.

I was on holiday late September last year, visiting my mum, stepfather and my two younger brothers. We went to a cousin's wedding. It was great. The day after, as I was hanging out reading a book, my mum got a call. The kind of call every mother fears. My youngest brother (he was 27) died in an accident. We needed to speak to police and the coroner. She cried and cried. She's still crying. She asks questions. She gets no answers. I...did not cry. I talked to the police. I googled a funeral home. I bought my brother his last set of clothes. He lived in a hoodie and torn black jeans. Mum wanted a suit. But he died in the one he bought for the wedding. I texted a lot of people. I bought snacks for the many friends who came to the funeral and wanted to speak to us after. My grief feels like a vice. I am not sad. I do not appear sad. Contrary to what people expect. But I am ANGRY. I am furious. But nobody can see this. I am not fine and I wish no one would ever* ask how I was again. TW/Personal content over. WE ALL SUFFER DIFFERENTLY Since I was small (because I am weird like that) I genuinely wondered if, finding myself in danger, I could scream like people in films do. I don't think I could. I cope with hard situations, fear and stress and anxiety by shutting down, sometimes by retreating as well, and by furiously (but quietly) trying to find a way out. And I think Aziraphale does the same. And that's why I love him so much. And why I feel I get him and understand that people sometimes can't tell how much he's actually feeling. I also express love the way Aziraphale does - by organising things for people, inviting them places, making plans. When Crowley said you call me for three things (and it's basically any old reason) I felt SO SEEN. This is what I would do with a friend who I know is feeling unmoored, sad, stuck (Crowley's 'What's the point of it all' at the beginning of S2). I'd text them with any old thing. I'd never actually say I love you, but I would try to get them to talk, meet me, go somewhere. Aziraphale does not express emotions the same way as Crowley.

But his emotions are valid nonetheless. He is worried for Crowley from around 3 minutes into their acquaintanceship. And he NEVER stops worrying from then on.

And are we quite sure he has never lost Crowley?

How many times did Aziraphale's heart freeze in horror when he realised Hell has taken Crowley and he had no idea if he'll ever come back and what is happening to him?

How did Aziraphale spend the night after vanquishing the demons and starting a war? He had no idea where Crowley was. What happened to him. He was probably sick with worry that Hell just took him away. We didn't see him drink and cry, but surely, the worry must have been overwhelming. The wait for what will happen.

ALL his worries over the Arrangement. Was he worried for himself? Do we really think that?

Crowley thought he lost Aziraphale in S1, yes, we saw that. And what happened to the angel then?

He got blown into atoms which I bet wasn't pleasant and when he arrives in Heaven he limps. Why is he hurt? And why is he quickly pretending he isn't? Why is he always hiding how he feels? Also, he immediately deserts, wants no part in the Holy War and quickly finds an extremely unconventional way to get back. It's not a grand gesture, he doesn't deliberate, doesn't worry that he will Fall (although surely that must have been what he thought will happen if he survives this), there's no pomp around it, he thinks it and then does it. No hesitation.

Is this coming from an angel who just can't leave Heaven behind and longs to be a part of it? Who loves to follow rules? And let's not forget in those moments Aziraphale thought Crowley was most likely gone. That he probably left for Alpha Centauri. Last he heard from him he was told he was talking to an old friend and had no time for him. Why we NEVER talk about how that might have felt for Aziraphale? About his sadness?

Things are not as simple as Aziraphale has been supressing his emotions and lying to himself about how he feels and he should get over it and become free. That's not how this works. And first of all, he was suppressing his emotions OUT OF LOVE. His main goal was always to keep Crowley safe. They simply couldn't run away or hoodwink Heaven and Hell. They had nowhere to go. They had no hope and yet they kept loving each other. That's courage. I know we all grew up with Romeo and Juliet and Heathcliff and Cathy and we FORGOT that those were CAUTIONARY tales. And this is not what Aziraphale wants for them. He would never allow himself to go so fast he would hurt Crowley. He feels guilty enough for agreeing to the Arrangement and for meeting Crowley at all when he knows they can be discovered and punished at any point. And Crowley knows it and RESPECTS it. He does not tolerate Aziraphale's decision to not go on a date and to hell with circumstances. He understands Aziraphale's reasoning and he respects Aziraphale's decision. Don't forget, they have NO POWER. They can't change Heaven and Hell. They can't stop believing in God and work on their religious trauma. Their Heaven and Hell are real places with real power and they both BELONG to them. Aziraphale's trauma and his personality are deeply intertwined and he'd probably never be the kind of person who is open in showing their grief or stress like Crowley does. He will learn to be more open, I'm sure. With his love especially, we see him reaching for and touching his demon in S2. Openly being with him, looking at him without guarding himself. They got a little bit of freedom for themselves despite ALL odds. So. Just because Aziraphale is not crying and screaming and I dunno, tearing his hair out or whatever some people would have him do, does not mean he isn't overflowing with pain, fear, uncertainty, doubts, worries, and so much anxiety that if he let it all out, half of the solar system would turn to ashes.

Aziraphale does not need to suffer in S3 to level out Crowley's suffering. They are, unfortunately, equal in their pain as they are in love. If there is one thing Crowley would never abide, it'd be this take from the fandom. * One more note on grief: (obviously from my personal experience) As initiated by @anthony-crowleys-left-nut in a comment

It's not that I mind to know people care and worry etc, not at all. But asking how I am can only end up in me lying (fine, thank you) and both of us knowing it's not really true and feeling awkward or not lying (I feel like shit, mostly cos I can't sleep and think the world is a stupid unfair place) and both of us feeling awkward anyway. Does that make sense? I wish I could tell friends/colleagues to ask what I've been up to or something similar instead. What I've been reading (um, AO3, but I'll make something up), watching, do I want to go see some spring flowers bloom (I do). I think...this would probably work not just for someone who is grieving but also for someone who you know is dealing with depression for example or a serious illness etc. Edit 2. It's now almost (in 15 days) a year since my brother died. The random attacks of pain and grief have lessened and I have started to do more of the things I enjoyed before... and I am able to answer how are you questions without feeling like they are trying to mock me (the questions, not the people). So I suppose things do get ... lighter? More diffused? I'm not sure. Because it's still exactly as unfair that my brother has not lived this past year as it will be however many years pass I expect.

[harunayuuka2060]

MC and their child self: ...

Ace, Deuce, Epel, and Jack: ...

Malleus: ...

MC's child self: ...

MC's child self: Um...

MC's child self: Hello.

MC's child self: ...

Malleus: *looks at them adoringly* Hello, little child of man. *extending his hand*

MC's child self: *holding and shaking it* Hello, mister. Nice to meet you.

Malleus: *his eyes sparking*

Ace, Deuce, Epel, and Jack: *immediately surrounded MC*

Ace: *whispers* Hey! What's going on?!

Deuce: Are they your little cousin?

Jack: Are you saying that kid got lost in here too?

Epel: I hope not. I'm sure their parents would get worried.

MC: ...

MC: That kid isn't my cousin.

MC: They're me.

Ace, Deuce, Epel, and Jack: ...

Ace, Deuce, Epel, and Jack: HUH?!!

Malleus: *already carrying MC's child self in his arms*

Malleus: Child of man, you didn't tell me you have an adorable cousin.

Malleus: They're so polite. With their doe eyes—

MC: You're holding me, Malleus.

Malleus: ...

Malleus: Pardon?

MC: *walks up to them*

MC's child self: *looking at them innocently*

MC: ...

MC: Did you sneak out of the house?

MC's child self: ... *nods*

MC: *smiles* Knew it.

MC's child self: Don't tell Mama.

MC: Of course.

Malleus: ...

Crowley: This is interesting. I don't understand how this could be possible.

MC: So you don't have an answer to this?

MC's child self: *sitting on their lap* *is quite occupied on the toy Malleus gifted them*

Crowley: I'm afraid so.

Kalim: Wha~! You're so cute, Little Prefect!

Jamil: Kalim, stop pinching the child's face.

Kalim: Okay! I'll just hug them!

MC: Kalim, if you squeeze them a little too tight—

MC's child self: *sniffles* *cries*

MC: Yep.

Kalim: Wh-What happened?

MC: I didn't like tight hugs because my mom made a mistake of letting me watch a bear hugging its prey to death.

Kalim: Nooo! *trying to calm Little MC down*

Jamil: Kalim, just let go so they would stop crying.

Kalim: *loosens the hug*

MC's child self: *sniffles* *then looks at Kalim* ...

MC's child self: *hugs him themselves*

Jamil: ...

Jamil: *looking at MC*

MC: I should be the one doing the hugs.

[maaikeatthefullmoon]

Once upon a time, there was a Good Omens fanfiction reader, who swore they didn't like AUs.

They read all the discussions about the 'classics', the 'must reads' and shrugged.

"But it's not canon", they muttered to themself. "They're not human. How on Earth can anyone write these stories about them when they're not actually bloody human? It’s not right."

And then, dear reader, they were persuaded to read just one AU. They were still an angel and a demon, just in a slightly different universe. And then...then they tried a human AU. And then...then they were hooked. Obsessed, one might say.

That reader, dear reader, was me. Of course. Obviously. Well, duh. And I would like to share the obsession in the form of some recommendations.

I have the wonderful @shadesofecclescakes to thank for MANY of these absolute beauties, she is absolutely the QUEEN of recommendations (and medicinal gifs).

So, now, in no particular order, some Highly Recommended AUs:

Or Be Nice by charlottemadison Rated E - A is a bookseller, C is a drummer, they are BOTH petty bitches. They're newly neighbours. C has a CAT and I'm there for it, he also has migraines and I hard relate. It's bitchy and the pranks were DIVINE. It was also deliciously spicy. The loveliness is that the author really captured the flawed nature of humans but also how it can be overcome. Same author as What We Make of It (what was Shotgun Wedding - an absolute GO AU CLASSIC and one of the best things I've ever read)

Not a Mounted Dildo but a Fuck Machine by NaroMoreau & summerofspock Rated E - So very, very E. This one was just filthy. So wonderfully filthy. The authors would like to tell you there was no plot to their porn, but there really was. A meets a girl online, because A is straight. He really is. Honest. But then, oops, lockdown happens. But, it's a good thing, really. For his best homeboy C is there, to help this poor virgin 'learn the ropes' for when lockdown is over and he goes on his first date...with the girl he's so very much into...coz, no homo, yo...;)

The Whole Damned World Seemed Upside Down by WyvernQuill Rated M - An AU in the way that it's still angel/demon but after Crowley makes a wish for things to be 'different', the universe obliges...and he's dumped into a reality which is very, very different to what he knew. He learns some truths and there's a whole lot of drama. Beautifully written with a wonderful plot and great drama. Excellently described and would make for great TV. (Oh, and Death in the new reality is really squeamish - it's brilliant.)

Telling Tall Tales by Siobhans_World Rated E - A sweet pretend relationship fic, where A pretends to be Maggie's boyfriend to help her pass as straight for her family. But he then meets her cousin, C, who he then inevitably (ineffably?) falls for. Miscommunication, angst, fluff, gay panic, it's got everything.

Flawless by @mrghostrat & @chernozemm Rated E - I've decided only to include one fic by each author and boyyy was it hard for ghostrat! But Flawless was, well, flawless. For such a relatively short story, it kept us guessing until the end. The characters were all beautifully written - the flaws (ha.) were DEEP and CRACKED but so fucking perfectly sculpted and presented. It was incredibly real and believable. Extremely maturely written and satisfying. AND THE ART!!!

How To Pull An Angel: A Bunnings DIY Guide by NascentSurrender Rated M - When I first saw the title, I thought it was going to be a silly, irreverent, comedy romp. But it was actually a funny, well written story that will stick in my mind always. Firstly, C watches Bluey - which is now CANON for me. Secondly, having lived in Aus as a child, I've got a soft spot for the country anyway, and I've barely ever seen it come up, so this was lovely. There were some wonderfully humorous bits, but also tender and beautiful moments that I adored.

Montreal Confidential by Maggie_Honeybite Rated E - I learned about Montreal (and Canada & their baked goods), classical music and mafia stuff in this fic. A is a widower. C plays the cello. His cello's name is Bentley. This is one of the only age-gap, mild D/s fics I've actually gotten into. There's fluff AND drama. CW for non-con (not A/C)

Under the Summer Stars by @pannotbread Rated E - an amazing astrophysics/astroecology/astrobiology fic that has pining, slow burn and Only One Telescope (yes, really, and it's everything you'd imagine). It's got beautifully written (erotic) imagery and So Much Science that's been written accessibly but still with amazing detail. It's poetry. It's hot. It's gorgeous. CW for internalised homophobia and self hatred. *Not completed yet*

Oddity by @tsyvia48 Rated E - A museum fic! About David Bowie! A is in charge of collections, C is an actor hired by (highly incompetent) Gabriel to guest curate a new Bowie exhibit. Miscommunication ensues for delicious tension. There's bitchiness, there's a bit of light angst, there's a lotta love. *Not Completed Yet* Poetry Carved In Flesh by @fellandcrow Rated E - I'm obsessed by tattoos. Hence, I am obsessed by this story. I'm planning a(n enormous) GO tattoo once GO3 is out, and this fic has actually helped me with my ideas. London-based A stalks lovingly follows Edinburgh-based tattoo artist C online. They build up a rapport. Well, C likes A. A is SMITTEN with C. C encourages A to get tattoos. Which he does. C designs a tattoo especially for A, the fic has currently left off at the point where C is in London and going to tattoo A. *Not Completed Yet*

There Is A Light & It Never Goes Out by @phoen1xr0se Rated M - A escapes from a disappointing, chaotic life to a remote island for five months to do research on puffins. There he meets lighthouse keeper C. Who also ran away, 20 odd years ago. There is a chaotic, found family on the island, but it is small, and it is lovely. This fic is written with love and passion and the imagery is so beautiful. The author has actually gone to do Actual. Physical. Research. on puffins. So how is THAT for dedication? Cannot wait until it resumes. *Not Completed Yet*

Ok, because I am Bad At Tumblr, I've not tagged the majority of authors, if you are on here - please let me know if you're here and I'll edit!

I should probably add in the following, I suppose. I'm writing an AU.

Free by, well, me. Imposterssyndrome (yes I know it's Imposter Syndrome, but that one already existed) Rated E - A runs a bookshop, C has an unfortunate past as a runaway ex-addict. They meet in an acute mental health ward after both having had a mental health crisis. Eventually A invites C to move in, and they navigate sharing a space, and their lives together. The story starts heavy, and is an emotional roller coaster, but there are moments of fluff and smut mixed in. There is a happy ending, I promise. It's a passion project, heavily researched and has a LOT of lived experience in it. I've gotten to know some amazing people through it who have messaged me and shared their experiences and I'm so glad I wrote it. *Not Completed Yet*

Last thing to say - once I finish Free, I will be teaming up with @shadesofecclescakes to write another human AU which is VERY much in her wheelhouse and I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT. I just know you're all going to LOVE it. The only thing that will make it even better is ART, so we're still on the hunt for someone.

**Last-last thing to say. I’ve missed off a few Biggies. There are some super popular AUs, mostly written around 2019. Most people will have read them. I’ve tried to focus on the perhaps lesser-known & WIP ones. Although I know many people don’t read WIPs, hopefully you’ll (book)mark them for future!**

[a-twistedheartslonging]

Nonhuman AU Jack.

Wolf beastmen are naturally bigger than their cousin, the dog beastmen.

Has black claws.

His fur is so freaking fluffy and he has so much of it. Arms, legs chest, underarms, floof happy trail, above his tail. It's perfect for shoving your face in. Be careful not to get it in your mouth.

Said fur is something he has a lot of and it’s thick. As a result, he has some problems with overheating, more so in the summer. Till his winter coat shades and… it's a lot and gets everywhere. It's around that time he’ll need to be taken outside a few times and given a good brushing. That floof will go everywhere and the local bird will wait nearby to take that floof going around for their nests. It's good quality nesting stuff and the birds want it. 

A wolf pup’s eyes are blue at birth. Their eyes turn yellow by the time they are eight months old. This was also the case for Jack when he was a baby.

Is fully capable of crunching bones with his jaw and there's a local butcher back home that he and his family like to get those along with meat.

Like a regular wolf, Jack has a light-reflecting layer on his eyes, also known as tapetum lucidum and it makes his eyes glow in the dark and he also has good night vision.

I found out ravens often follow wolves to grab leftovers from the hunt—and to tease the wolves. They play with the wolves by diving at them and then speeding away or pecking their tails to try to get the wolves to chase them. Imagine Crowley liking to bother Jack...until Owl Rook shows up cuz owls also have some beef with corvids.

“Wolves howl to contact separated members of their group, to rally the group before hunting, or to warn rival wolf packs to keep away. Lone wolves will howl to attract mates or just because they are alone.” Kinda funny if certain beasties like him howl when they want to hang with their homies. You end up hearing random howling during a normal school day. Also, him howling because he's trying to attract his mate (you) and just looking at you expectedly after.

He tries to seem cold and distant at first but that doesn't last too long, still a tsundere about things though. The others keep pointing out how he helps you out more than he does his other friends. Well, obviously it's because the human needs more help things being weak and all…totally no other reasons.

You know those lines about how he messed up making that flower crown his sister wanted and how she ended up crying? And then he smooshed all those macaroons during the cooking thing? Yeah, he’s cononly bad with delicate things and even more so with those claws in the nonhuman au, he asks for your help with delicate things and offers to help you with other things in return. Lifting heavy things, reaching, scaring off other guys. Though he already does all that without even being asked. He also likes comparing your hands but gets annoyed at you calling his paw pads toe beans. He has mostly human hands, he just has the patting on his fingertips along with the pad on his palm...and he has claws....and fur on the top part of his hand....yeah mostly human hands.....

One time he got a tail sprang because being around you makes his tail go nuts. The others teased the hell out of him for it.

Wants you two to do things together and convinced you to try going for runs with him, unfortunately, you couldn't keep up with his big wolfie self. But when you were about to mention it he suddenly picked you up and carried you for the rest of the run saying something about adding this to his routine to make him stronger. It does become a part of his morning running routine.

A wolf pack may contain just two or three animals, or it may be 10 times as large. Once you guys become friends he decides the two of you are your own little pack and expects you to know that.

The two of you are around each other…a lot and not just because you guys share classes. However, he does insist on sitting next to you for each class. Wolves are pack animals after all. Always staying close. Walking you back to your dorm, making sure you have lunch together, and even taking food from his plate to add onto yours, kinda hovers around you, and wants you to either join his club or hang out where it's happening.

I hope you're prepared for wolf kisses once you're together. Now regular wolves do it for a few reasons. To show affection, say hello, to show respect, to see if you are sick, to see if you've eaten anything good. Wolfs with human handlers will even do it to them and they have to keep their lips shut really tied or else they’ll get sloppily frenched. Jack is gonna have some deep wet kisses, and straight up lick your teeth. And your face…and your neck…and…

He’s totally going to try grooming you the wolf way and get growly if you push his face away.

You will be scented often. When he sees you in the morning, before you leave, after a shower, after he smells someone else on you.

Keep a lint roller handy cuz of this guy.

When you are alone he’s a lot more affectionate and especially loves getting scritches on his ears, chest, and above his tail. You're the only person he will let rub his tummy in his full wolf form. You might even catch him making wolfie noises when you find a good spot to scratch. 

He really likes it when you help him with his grooming, and with his kind of fur, he needs it often.

With wolf courting he will do with you what males do with females regardless if you're a guy, gal, or nonbinary pal. 

 With regular wolfs it usually involves the male following the female around and the female allowing him to approach her. They may vocalize, scent mark, and chase each other around. They may also touch noses, lick muzzles, mouth each other, bump bodies, groom, and nibble coats, the male may bow to the female, toss and tilt his head, and walk and sleep close together.

So, you not pushing him away is something he’ll take as you be cool with it. Tests things out with some nuzzles and a gentle nip or two. Some (cute) wolf noises, help you with your grooming, be it straightening out your clothes or even giving a lick. Will bump noses with you and gently bump your body with his. Will walk with you any chance you get and will want to have sleepovers more often.

Talk of wolf mating habits and Jack's junk below.

For wolfs mating season can be anywhere from January to April with the female having only five to seven days of estrus. During this time, the pair may move out of the pack temporarily to prevent interruption from other pack members. Since your human “mating season” is pretty much any time you ovulate if you can but really the whole thing that gets male animals when it comes to seasons is that they smell that their mate is excited/fertile, so anytime he smells you being aroused it's going to have him react. So, if he knows you're cool, with it he’s to want to get you away from everyone and take care of you. 

However, with Jack, he will likely want to hold off on sex and want to date for a long while, build trust, and make sure you are right for each other. He takes dating and relationships very seriously. He only wants to have one mate for his whole life after all. Anyways, once he does deem himself ready and knows that you are too he’ll want to work his way up to full-on sex starting with oral, using hands, and whatnot.

He really likes giving oral, especially because of the taste and scent. Male wolves will smell the genital region to determine readiness to mate, tongue flicking in and out, and testing the air for traces of sex hormones and only stop if their mate growls and snaps their jaws at them.

A kind of funny/cute thing wolves do right before mating is act happy by nuzzling and whipping tails in each other's faces. Just all happy about mating I guess. I mean, Jack probably has his tail going already when you're making out or having actual sex. Ask him if he wants a blowjob then his face is all serious but flushed and his tail is going back and forth. Pretty darn cute I must say.

Yes, his dick is big, and yes, he has a knot. You'll be stuck together for about half an hour before it deflates, and he can pull out.

Kinda gross but he likes to clean your hole out with his tongue after mating.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Physical Fitness

[at the beach] Sonia Greene: oh howard this was such a lovely idea! Greene: a romantic seaside picnic and just the two of us! Greene: and we've got your favorite food right here - untoasted white bread! Greene: isn't this nice? HP Lovecraft: [sweats, stares at ocean] right sure

HP Lovecraft: Hey! Quit kicking sand in our faces! Sonia Greene: that man is the worst nuisance on the beach! Aleister Crowley: [grabbing Lovecraft] listen here, I'd smash your face, only you're so skinny you might dry up and blow away!

Crowley: [to greene, as he manhandles lovecraft] look babe, why don't you drop that zero and get with the hero Crowley: i'll show you how a real man kicks sand in people's faces! Crowley: THE GREAT BEAST!!! DO AS THOU WILLT!!!!

Lovecraft: The big bully! I'll get even some day! Greene: oh don't let it bother you, little boy Greene: i'll fix you up a nice big meal, put some meat on those bones Lovecraft: and that'll help me build muscle? Greene: [sweats] um muscle? um sure yeah muscle

Poe: howard, you need to stop letting aleister pick on you Lovecraft: but he's twice my size! he's all buff cuz of all the mountain climbing! Poe: you could start working out? Lovecraft: you mean physical labor? Lovecraft: sport?! Lovecraft: [sweats] like a common cornishman?!?

Poe: you should try it Poe: a good regimen of rowing and swimming helped me build mass Barker: oh come on edgar Poe: no really! Poe: [removes shirt, revealing he is super swole] Barker: Barker: oh right Barker: right i forgot about that

Mary Shelley: listen up nerd you don't need exercise Shelley: what you need is one of these [flips switchblade] Poe: oh come on mary, what if he gets attacked when he doesn't have knife on him? Shelley: dunno, that's never come up

Shelley: next time aleister gives you shit, you give him one of these [pantomimes shivving] Poe: mary, violence never solved anything Shelley: it does if you're good at it Poe: Barker: ah ha ha she's got you there edgar

Lovecraft: Darn it! I'm sick and tired of being a scarecrow! William Hope Hodgson says he can give me a real body. all right! i'll gamble a stamp and get his free book Lovecraft: i'll just not eat this week to afford the stamp

William Hope Hodgson: are you "fed up" with seeing the huskies walk off with the best of everything? Hodgson: sick and tired of being soft, frail, skinny or flabby? Hodgson: i know because i myself was once a puny 97 pound "runt" Hodgson: today, I am two separate gorillas

Hodgson: give me 5 weeks and my body building plan will turn YOU into the bronzed adonis you were meant to be Hodgson: through a dynamic combination of cardiovascular training, lifting big kegs, and standing in the desert while getting your balls tanned by an ultraviolet machine

Lovecraft: wow, how's you get so buff?? Hodgson: from constant brawling during my navy days Lovecraft: w-wait Lovecraft: you're a sailor?? Hodgson: yeah you should know from my popular lecture series about how much the navy fuckin sucks ass Lovecraft: [sweats]

Hodgson: ugh, i tell you Hodgson: it's just impossible to pay the bills with pseudoscience fitness programs catering to mens' insecurities Hodgson: i'm gonna pivot to weird fiction instead Hodgson: that's where the big money is

Hodgson: what if a bunch of pig men attacked a big house Smith: [on phone] hey clark ashton? it's me! your cousin! marvin smith! Smith: you know that new horror genre you're been looking for? Smith: well, listen to this! [aims phone at hodgson]

[twstfanblog]

~Manhwa AU- A Fairytale Do-Over~ Pt 2

A/N: GUESS WHAT I FINISHED~? It's been hot as fuck over here recently and our house doesn't have central air. So writing has been hard, but I managed! Enjoy Malleus's huberous trying to hit him but he's still too short to get the lesson. Next part will be when Yuu meets Leona! Word Count: 3.9K Pairings: Yuu & Malleus (Their friendship has ended and he doesn't even know it), Sibling Malleus & Silver, Parental Lilia & Silver Prev / Next

The royal palace was massive, the size rivaling that of an urban village. And that didn't include the gardens, the patios, the woods attached to the grounds; the area was so large that there were even hidden places Lilia didn't know about. It was grand and it was lavished, all that an empirical bloodline could want. But it was empty, halls filled with priceless artwork and historical artifacts echoed with every footstep you took.

It was a sound Lilia had heard twice and never wished to hear a third time. First was when he was brought to the palace to be Maleanor’s playmate, second was the day after her and her husband's funeral.

And now, as he stared down a twitching servant, he was sure the palace had started to prep itself to return to such a state. He massaged his temples, taking a long and slow breath in, “Forgive me…I must have grown hard of hearing in my age…what did you say?”

The servant shook in terror, the silver tray he held in his hands jostling the letter on it. Lilia Vanrouge was retired as a general, but no one in the fleet of servants or guards dared to upset him. Even delivering bad news was seen as foolish and asking to be punished, “Yu-…The young miss Crowley’s invite was returned…unopened…We called their residence to ask…but the servants are stating that…she is ill and unwilling to attend…”

“…”

Lilia felt…flabbergasted. Yuu had attended Malleus's birthdays sick before, the adoration the young girl held for his charge gave her the will to suffer through hours of discomfort. No illness or annoyingly loud guests could deter her from spending time with her friend.

But even thinking that made him flinch. Malleus was not…receptive to Yuu's kindness or shows of friendship. The young fae lord had found the girl to be clingy, annoying, downright a pain. But no matter how he protested their playdates, Lilia kept scheduling them because Malleus needed someone to see as his equal.

Though he was the crowned prince, a marvel to the fae and kingdom, Yuu was by marriage his cousin and closest of equal royal standing. Malleus’s father was not of noble blood, a fact that kept his and Maleanor’s love from truly being accepted by the council. Luckily, Levan had cut a deal with Dire, being formally adopted into the Crowley line in exchange for more loyal ties with the empire's crown once Levan and Maleanor had married.

A promise that was kept with playdates to the two houses’ heirs.

Lilia bit his lip. Though both of Malleus's parents had passed and such a promise meant nothing now, the Crowley line was all Malleus had in terms of extended family. The old fae wanted them to be close should misfortune fall upon him and leave Malleus without a proper guardian.

But Malleus was his mother's son…

Haughty, arrogant, and beautiful. He looked down on nearly everyone around him, deeming them weak and powerless against his steadily growing might. He skipped his lessons; half from his naturally absent-minded nature, mostly because he felt too good to listen to weaker fae try to teach him.

So introducing a magicless girl nearly five years younger as his equal did not go well…

Since their first playdate and Malleus had stomped back into the palace covered in mud, furious, he had simply despised the Crowley child. Yuu had merely giggled and asked to play with Malleus again, saying he was funny and she liked him. To this day, Lilia wasn't sure why Malleus had been covered in mud nor why he seemed to detest Yuu so much so quickly…He refused to repeat what happened and it only sent Yuu into a fit of laughter whenever asked. He wondered if he should have used his magic to see what had caused the issue when he still had the chance…

He sighed, picking the letter up and ignoring the servant's flinching when his hand drew near. Studying it, he marveled, it really was unopened. A part of him felt the claws of dread slowly wrap around his heart, his fears becoming realized before his eyes. Had Yuu finally had enough? Were two years of verbal abuse what caused the young girl to open her eyes to Malleus’s mistreatment and simply not return.

Turning away, he dismissed the servant and bit his lip again. Malleus didn't have other playmates. Malleus, like his mother, was feared by his subjects. A fact that made companionship more difficult than Lilia wished it would be. He wondered if he should visit the Crowley duchy, slip a tonic from the royal infirmary to have the girl healed in time for the party-

“Lilia, Silver's fallen asleep again.”

Lilia looked to the doorway, his worries melting off his shoulders at the heartwarming scene.

While Malleus had created a type of feud with the Crowley girl, he completely adored Silver; claiming the boy as his brother since he first saw him sleeping in his bassinet. They stood in the opened doorway, Malleus in a more informal attire and cradling Silver to his front. The silver-haired nine-year-old fast asleep in the prince's arms releasing angelic snores.

Sighing, Lilia held his free arm out with a small smile, “Bring him here, I will watch him while you finish your studies.”

Passing the sleeping child over, Malleus scoffed under his breath and rolled his eyes, “Studies. I have no need…” His eyes catch the glint of silver in Lilia’s hand, “What is that?”

Lilia didn’t have a chance to answer, Malleus reaching up and snatching the letter out of his guardian’s hands. Huffing, Lilia used his now free hand to properly hold Silver, “We’ve been over this; don’t snatch things from people-”

“Is this…Yuu’s invitation?” Malleus stares at the envelope, turning it over in his hands and becoming bewildered as he notices it wasn’t even opened, “Have you…Not sent this to the Crowley’s Duchy yet…?” His party was only a week away and the grand duchy was at least half a day’s journey away.

“…” Sighing, Lilia turned away from Malleus’s inquisitive eyes, “The invitation was returned unopened. Word is that the young lady Crowley is ill and unable to attend…”

Malleus stood in silence, staring at Lilia’s back before looking down at the letter in his hand, “Oh…” With a smile, he flicked the letter past Lilia and sent it directly into the lit fireplace.

“Malleus!” Lilia watched the letter burn, flaring green in a flash as the wax melted into the flames. Turning around he tried to pin a glare at the giddy preteen, “Why would you do that!?”

With a shrug, Malleus turned around with a smile. Wiping his hands of the situation as though he had easily solved all his problems, “There’s no need for it. She’s ill, isn’t she? Plus, they returned the invite. It’s within my right to do with it as I will.” He clapped his hands together as his thoughts ran wild, the very promise of Yuu not attending his party making him more and more excited for the event, “This shall be my most wonderful birthday yet! Maybe I will be just as lucky next year and she’ll still be ill.”

Lilia could only frown as Malleus laughed, walking out of the room. While Lilia hoped the young prince would go to his lessons, he knew he was more than likely heading toward the gardens or to his growing horde room. Sighing, the bi-colored fae looks down to his sleeping child. It would all be much easier if he just placed Silver as the prince’s playmate. Malleus adored Silver, but Silver was quiet. Silver was so quiet. A fact that would only echo in this massive palace as the years go on. Lilia could only hope that he’d find a cure for whatever sleep curse affected his boy. Maybe Silver could be the bridge between the two; a thesaurus for two similar yet wildly different languages.

He hoped that Malleus wouldn’t be too upset on the day of his party.

The servants would say the day of Malleus's party was divine. Not a tantrum, eye-roll, nor threat of permanent dismissal in sight. He allowed himself to be dressed easily in his outfit, black silks and furs, precious gems stitched to mimic the night sky their lands were famous for and a winding silver banded crown. Malleus looked like a prince of the infamous Noctorn Empire and he was excited.

He had talked Lilia and Silver's ears off at breakfast; his plans to speak to everyone for once since Yuu wouldn't be attached to his side and babbling nonstop. He didn't notice the concerned look in Lilia's eyes when he'd excused himself to use the emergency phone. Lilia called the Crowley duchy directly to ask if they were truly not attending the party. Crewel merely stating they had sent their gifts and wished Malleus a happy birthday in their absence. Yuu hadn't even been heard over the call.

As the beginning of the event drew closer, Lilia felt his nerves worsen, as if a looming threat was breathing down his neck and waiting to strike. A feeling that only grew stronger as Silver lost his fight with wakefulness, falling asleep a little after the first few guests started to populate the entry hall. Lilia had gathered the deadweight child into his arms, tasking Malleus to greet the guests alone while he placed Silver in a more docile environment until he woke up.

Malleus tried, he truly did. He spoke aloud and clearly as Lilia had always instructed him, head held high so that his chin and the ground were two parallel lines. He tried to shake people's hands, growing frustrated as they refused to release the brightly wrapped gifts to do such a thing. After the 6th awkward shuffle away from his outstretched hands he simply elected to not shake anymore of the lord's hands. After the 15th nervous and stuttered hello, he stopped greeting them too.

He huffed, mildly pouting as he left the entry hall, walking toward the guarded room that held his mountain of presents; gifts to be opened and cataloged once all the guests had left. Greeting people alone wasn't as fun as he imagined it would be. It would have been easier if Lilia hadn't left to tend to Silver. Lilia was a social creature in such a way that Malleus never understood, neither him nor Yuu made sense to him as to how they got people to respond so easily to them. But then again, the very thought of Yuu beside him and greeting everyone in his place made him more frustrated. The sight of her gift, as always wrapped in black and white with a bright green bow, only worsened his mood.

Slamming his hand into the brick, leaving behind Cracks and a medium-sized indent he made the choice to enter the banquet hall. (Unaware of the few cowering party guests slowly backing away from him).

The room was filled with people, fine fabrics swishing around the room in elegant dances. Looking around his enthusiasm dipped again. There were so many adults more than children his age, adults that would only give him a half glance and a respectful bow. Malleus walked along the edges of crowds, trying to see if any conversation piqued his interest or if any of the adults would glance his way to wish him a happy birthday. He received plenty of quick bows, long-winded birthday blessings with his full title. A few had even tried to start a conversation, beginning with a comment on their relation to his mother or father. Only to suck their mouths in like they had tasted the worst type of lemon flavor, remembering he never meant his mother nor his father. From there they would bow again and turn to scamper away into a crowd, leaving him alone again.

Just as he began to wonder just where Lilia was placing Silver, he saw someone who made his hopes relight. Another child his age was standing by a window, looking out the large stained glass with an air of boredom around him. They were a noble of origin from outside the empire, their clothing was brightly colored and heavily patterned. A crown of beads and braids kept dark brown hair neat yet wild, a pair of small, round lion ears peaking through. The hint of brown skin visible from the edge of their loose sleeves and crossed arms.

Gathering a bit of courage, swallowing to wet his mouth, Malleus walked forward. He smiled and tilted his head, tapping the other on the shoulder to gain his attention, “Hello. Are you enjoying the party?”

The other boy seemed to startle, almost as if he had planned on being invisible for hours more and Malleus's acknowledgement broke his trance. The boy turned to him, showing his face was marred over one eye with a long thin scar, the bright emerald green slightly duller than the other.

Once he saw who was speaking to him, he frowned. Turning away and looking at Malleus from the corner of his brighter eye as though he was a bug, “Go away.” Short, simple, and sour.

Malleus startled himself. No one had…ever dismissed him in such a way. Even when Lilia sent him away to his own devices, He said as such with an air of teasing, jovial. This…this was just rude. Narrowing his eyes, he stepped into the other boy's line of sight when he fully turned away, “Why should I? You are aware this is my birthday party, aren’t you? You should feel honored that I'm speaking to you.”

The boy scoffs, facing him directly and placing his hands on his hips. Smug, arrogant; he wasn't taller by any means but it felt as though he was looking down his nose at him, “Why would I feel honored being spoken to by a lizard?”

“…” Lightning flashed outside, bringing the already soft ambiance into a fearful silence, “A LIZARD!?” YOU DARE CALL ME A LIZARD!?”

“A lizard who throws tantrums at that.”

“Leona!” Two older men quickly rush over, looking similar to ‘Leona’ with their attire, ears, and, face yet more alike each other with their matching bold red hair. The shorter, younger man had gripped Leona by the shoulders, trying to force the boy into a bow, “Apologize! You promised you'd behave tonight!”

The older man, his red hair streaked with thin yet vivid lines of grey bowed, “A thousand apologies, Your Highness. Please forgive my youngest son. He is still recovering from an injury you see-”

“I don't care about excuses!” Malleus glared, stomping his foot as the lightning flashing again and sent the room into spasms of eerie green light. He pointed toward the scowling Leona, “He called me a lizard!”

“Malleus, lower your tone. You are among company.” Lilia walked over, placing a hand onto his charge’s shoulder and pulling him back as a physical reminder to calm down, “What's happened here?”

“It seems my son-”

Scoffing loudly, Leona rolled his head back and spoke aloud, “I called the stupid lizard, a lizard and he threw a fit over it.”

“Leona.” The younger man strained, shaking Leona by his shoulders in an effort to physically shake the sense into him.

Lilia frowned, looking down his nose at the defiant child with lidded eyes, “That's rather rude don't you think?” He looked from the corner of his eye, catching the eldest man's gaze, “Duke Kingscholar. I wasn't aware you were raising such…brazen children...”

The duke's bow seemed to deepen, “Truly, I offer apologies for every star in the sky. My youngest is recovering from an injury and fever. He isn't thinking clearly-”

The eldest brother leaned down, whispering to the sour-faced child while their father tried to save face with Lilia, “Leona, apologize. Dad's gonna make you sit in the carriage again if you don't-”

“Fine then! I didn't want to come to this dumb party anyway!”

The duke sprang up, his face furious as he rounded on his youngest son, “LEONA!”

Malleus could feel the lightning crackle outside, the bolts dancing along the sealed windows in eagerness to strike Leona down, “How…dare you!? My birthday party is the highest honor any could hope to attend, and you stand here, wasting it and calling my wrath!”

Leona scoffed, rolling his eyes before leveling Malleus with an almost arctic glare, “Who'd consider it an honor to attend a party of someone they don't even like?”

The eldest boy tried to pull his brother back, worry on his face as the lights along the wall started to flash and flicker with the green electricity struggling to breach the walls, “Leona. Enough.”

Malleus glared back, eyes almost glowing from his rage, “I don't care if you like me or not. I am your prince and you will respect me!”

Leona lets out a loud and sharp laugh, shaking himself free of his brother's hands to step closer to Malleus, “I don't respect you and I don't like you. No one does.”

“That's…That's A lie! People like me!”

“Oh, look around!” Leona gestures his arms out, only continuing when Malleus makes small cautious glances around the room, “No one here likes you, they're all afraid of you! And you're too stupid to see it, you pompous motherfuc-”

Leona was all but snatched into the air, his older brother holding his body in one arm while the other pressed tightly to his mouth. He bowed, a mumble of his brother not feeling well before he quickly absconded from the area.

Duke Kingscholar sighed, offering one last apology and a birthday blessing before he followed his sons out.

Malleus watched them leave along with everyone else. And once the Kingscholars had left he looked around the room once more, a new feeling of a sinking stone growing heavier and heavier. No one would meet his eyes, nothing past an accidental glance before quickly bowing. No one other than Lilia came to his defense, every last guest letting him be berated and mocked by a spare. And for what? To stand at the edge of their tif and cower? To…to look at him with fearful eyes?

Only once the Kingscholars left did he realize just how far away everyone else was in that moment. How even as the lightning cleared, the storm calming, no one dared approach him. No one dared look him in the eyes.

The party continued, the Kingscholars did not return and Malleus was happy for that at least. Leona was…a form of abrasive that he didn't care to deal with ever again.

He thought this birthday would be amazing, the best of his short eleven years of life. Instead, he spent the night beside Lilia, holding onto his hand and refusing to look up. Not out of any true nervousness or shame. He just…didn't want to see how no one looked his way.

They danced, they had a meal, they had cake. Everyone left after another hour of standing and talking. Were birthday parties always so…boring? Or was it just because it was his 11th birthday? Was it because Silver didn't wake midway through for cake cutting like he normally did? Was it…was it because Yuu wasn't there?

The thought annoyed him. Yuu would have never left him alone if she was there, she never had any other celebration. Clinging onto him to greet guests, chasing him through the halls while the adults spoke and networked. A leeching shadow that no matter where he went, she would worm her way into the same place at some point.

“Malleus?”

The horned fae looked up, a half-asleep Silver holding the signature black and white present out to him, “Do you want me to have Yuu's present again this year? Father said she didn't come…”

“…” Sighing, Malleus took the gift from Silver's hands, ripping the paper with an annoyed air to the act, “No. I'll keep it. She's ill; there's no telling what kind of human illness you'll catch from whatever she's coughed on in here.”

Lilia sighed, but didn't speak more. Gathering the wrapping paper of the other gifts Malleus had opened and quickly discarded for not holding his interest. He watched his son yawn, smiling as he pointed to the small table with tea and two thin slices of cake, “Silver, have some tea and cake; it'll wake you up a bit.”

“But, you said I can't have sweets past 9pm?”

“Well, I decided you can today. You normally are awake to have a slice of cake during the party…”

“I know…I'm sorry.”

“Silly boy. There's nothing to apologize for…”

As Malleus looked into the gift box in his hands, the sounds of his guardian and brother faded into the background, equally muffled by the crackling of the fireplace. Inside the present was a pair of oddly knitted tubes. To anyone else, they'd be a pair of hideous mittens for someone who didn't even have hands, but Malleus knew what they really were.

Yuu had asked him, earlier that season when he was again forced to have tea with her, if his horns ever got cold in the Winter. He had glared, telling her to not ask such stupid questions, having no time nor the knowledge to explain that his horns never felt cold in Winter nor hot in Summer and he didn't know why. An answer that seemed to have not satisfied the annoying girl, since she had made and gifted him a pair of unseemly horn warmers.

He held them in his hands, the knots sloppy yet tight. The pattern was off and he's certain there were two different shades of green in the same area. They were ugly, plain and simple. But they were something other than a grotesque or a gargoyle cruelly ripped from their post. Useless, priceless gems he had no need for or the rare foolish gift of iron weapons and accessories. The black yarn was too thick, almost swallowing the designs made with the green yarn. Both colors pressed so close that the black seemed greenish in the right light.

Just as Yuu's eyes would.

He knew the Crowley girl's eyes were black, a brown so dark and deep that they mimicked a starless new moon sky mixed with the dying breath of a sunset. But when…when she looked him in the eyes…they almost seemed to leech the green from his own.

“…Lilia.” A beat of silence before the older fae gave a questioning hum, “Yuu's been sick before right?”

“…” Lilia perks up, turning to face Malleus directly as he notices he had opened Yuu’s present, “…Um…yes, a few times before. Why do you ask?”

“…Does…does she feel better soon? She isn’t sick for long, right?”

“…” Lilia smiles, stepping closer and ruffling the hair in the space between Malleus’s horns with a giggle, “I'm sure she will better quicker than you expect! Your little friend will be right as rain and back in the palace for playdates before you know it!”

Malleus pouts, slapping his guardian’s hands away and trying to smooth his ruffled hair. The woolen tubes in his hands not helping in the slightest as they only made his hair more frizzy, “I don’t want her back here! I just don’t want to hear about the bothersome thing dying!” He stands, forgoing his other presents but keeping the ugly warmers locked in his grasp unknowingly, “I’m going to bed! Even when she isn’t around, she manages to ruin everything…”

Floating, Lilia flipped himself upside down, pinching at a furious Malleus’s cheek, “Aw~! You do like her!”

“NO! I DON’T!”

[quoththemaiden]

@mrghostrat This is now the third time since December that I'm writing about your middle-aged men and their middle-aged-man problems (1, 2). Please come collect them, because they're causing a disturbance.

Or, if you aren't able to wrangle them, then please enjoy this scene inspired by Chapter 10 of Big Name Feelings.

For everyone who hasn't already seen the top portion of this on Discord, know that this is set sometime after the con but before the big bang.

—

"I think your hair might be getting long enough to braid now."

Crowley's eyes snapped over to him. "Braid?"

Aziraphale blinked at the sharp question. "I didn't mean anything by it." He'd still never figured out quite where Crowley's gender identity lay, or if it changed day-by-day. He suspected Crowley's public presentation of his gender was either "whatever's simplest for everyone involved" (around people he didn't know but generally liked, like at the con) or "whatever causes the most problems for everyone involved" (like with a particularly annoying security guard that had left Aziraphale remembering that being middle-aged, white, and extremely stuffy in appearance was its own form of armor). Aziraphale's own perception of Crowley's gender was just "Crowley." What Crowley felt about it was something Aziraphale had never quite managed to parse out. "You can do whatever you like—"

"Do you know how?"

"How...?"

"To braid hair." Crowley's tone was oddly urgent. "Like for your nieces or cousins or—"

"—for crafting, yes. Tassels for bookmarks and such. You want me to—" Crowley practically flinging himself down onto the sofa next to him was answer enough. "Oh."

Crowley's hair really was barely long enough to braid, Aziraphale decided as he gently freed it from its elastic band. He ran his fingers through it slowly and carefully, easing out the light tangles from a day's confinement. Crowley slumped forward in boneless contentment, and Aziraphale had to switch to prickling the top of his scalp with his fingernails to get him to sit up straight enough for Aziraphale to work.

Aziraphale determined his gameplan, then, and gently eased up a few locks of hair at the crown of Crowley's head, smoothing down the top with the flat of his palm. He started working the strands into a French braid, taking it tiny piece by tiny piece to ensure every section was balanced in size. If Crowley were doing it himself, he suspected he'd get it done in just five messy joins, but every strand he brought in gave Aziraphale another excuse to run his fingertips along Crowley's scalp and he luxuriated in each opportunity. "Has anyone ever told you your hair is unreasonably thick?" he murmured, his voice huskier with fond affection than he'd intended. Crowley spared him from a tease by being too utterly sedated to manage more than a vague hum in response. Aziraphale smiled at that and kept his progress blissfully slow and methodical until he had no choice but to tie the braid off at the nape of Crowley's neck — half a French braid, half a ponytail made bushy from having had waves worked into it. He placed a soft kiss to the back of Crowley's head, padded by the thickest part of Crowley's braid and somehow all the more intimate for it. "All done, love."

Crowley leaned back against Aziraphale's chest, tilting back his head to look up at him with eyes made impossibly soft with contentment. "I'm never putting my own hair up again. Just hope you know that."

Aziraphale chuckled softly, just as fond. "I'll manage somehow, I suppose."

—

Crowley's boneless appreciation of the hair braiding had turned into boneless napping, and while Aziraphale enjoyed having Crowley fall asleep against him at certain times of day, he had never been one for naps himself and there was a limit to how long he could stay motionless sans entertainment before even he got antsy. He eased his way out from under Crowley, grateful the other man was a heavy sleeper even during the day, and was left deciding what quiet amusement he could pursue until whenever Crowley woke up and started making noises about dinner. He could always read some fanfics, of course, but his eyes couldn't help but be drawn towards his favorite muse.

His muse who had, he recalled, tempted him into joining a rigged bang and had talked him into getting a digital tablet. Aziraphale still planned to do his official art for it traditionally, because he was sure Crowley's writing would deserve no less... and, if he was allowed to be vain in the privacy of his own mind, because he still remembered the feeling he'd had when Crowley responded to his scans with barely coherent keysmashing. He wasn't in deferential awe of Crowley anymore, although he still loved his writing just as much, but part of him still hoped that Crowley might respond with just as much enthusiasm at getting to see the finished piece in person, textured paper and unprocessed colors and all. Well, assuming he could be gutsy enough to actually give it to him in person instead of just leaving it on the drafting table for him to find, which was really the more statistically likely result. But anyway.

But anyway.

His muse was sleeping in front of him, and a stylus on an iPad would make hardly any noise at all. And if he got good enough at using it, maybe he could draw some extra digital art to celebrate the fic as well.

In any case, sketching Crowley while he slept was one of life's little joys. He didn't think Crowley knew how often he did it, and that was probably for the best. If he did it all in his notebook, it would have been too easy for Crowley to flip through and find the sketches (and removing sheets would have felt damnably like a guilty conscience). With his iPad, however, he was safe to sketch as much as he liked and there was no real way for Crowley to stumble across it. Aziraphale willfully shoved aside the thought that that didn't really sound any less guilty and started setting stylus to screen. It wasn't long until he'd settled into a comfortable rhythm, his eyes flicking back and forth between the screen and where Crowley was lying face-down on the sofa, his new braid highlighted in a beam of afternoon sunlight.

Something Aziraphale did appreciate about digital art was that white could be layered on top of other colors and be shockingly vibrant, which wasn't an effect he could get easily with his beloved watercolors. Something else watercolors didn't give him was the ability to pick out very fine details, and as his sketch started coming together, he found that was exactly what he wanted to do now. While Crowley's hair was a vibrant red in his selfies or on stage, when he'd had the opportunity to run his fingers through every strand, he'd found that Crowley's hair was showing his age just as much as his own was.

The first day Aziraphale had found a grey hair had come as a shock. He'd naively assumed that with his hair being as pale as it was, even if it started greying, he might well never know. Instead, he found that the grey hairs' texture was frustratingly different from the strands that were still blond, and until they reached a critical mass fifteen long years later, they had an unfortunate tendency to stick out unattractively if his cut was anything less than perfect. He had become quite a regular at his barber's.

With Crowley's hair being as long as it was, his grey hairs had worked smoothly into his braid. From even the small distance from couch to armchair, they melded into the red strands perfectly... but Aziraphale had just spent long minutes twining them into neat twists and didn't need to see them now to know they were there. Aziraphale zoomed in close (another marked benefit of the digital display) and set his pen to a thin, sharp line, layering sleek silver strands into the red braid he'd drawn. Following the way they weaved around each other and dipped in and out of view felt delightfully meditative.

Eventually, Crowley made a soft snuffling snort-groan as he roused from his nap, slowly turning to unbury his face from the pillows. "Wha' time'zit?" he mumbled, patting around blindly for his cellphone.

"Coming up on 5:30 now," Aziraphale replied softly, trying not to startle him into full wakefulness too quickly. He rose and fetched Crowley's phone, placing it gently into his fumbling hand. "There you go."

"Mmrrr. Don't need it now." Crowley tucked the phone under his side in what Aziraphale would have guessed would be a very uncomfortable fashion but which Crowley did without even thinking. At least it wouldn't be going anywhere from there, Aziraphale supposed. "What're you doin'?" Crowley made grabby hands at the iPad Aziraphale had brought over with him.

Aziraphale handed over the iPad without even one thought, much less a second. "Oh, I was just waiting for you to wake up, really."

"...Angel." Crowley had zoomed out on the picture (with a completely unsurprising lack of propriety) and was now staring, frozen and much more awake, at the drawing of himself. "You aren't going to post this on Tumblr, are you?"

Aziraphale laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of that, despite the ripple of shock Crowley's tense tone had caused him. "Come, now. When have I ever posted a drawing of you, my dear?"

"When have you ever made a drawing of me?" Crowley retorted. He waved vaguely at the screen, accidentally sparing Aziraphale from having to answer. "I don't mind being old, but I don't want the world knowing my boyfriend thinks I'm old." His frazzled waving turned a little more flaily.

"Crowley..." Aziraphale gently took the tablet back from him and set it down on the floor so he could take Crowley's hand in both of his. "I assure you, I'm not the kind of artist who spends my time drawing things I don't think are beautiful. And that includes every detail I put in."

Aziraphale would have hoped that was obvious, really. The strands of hair he had drawn weren't brittle grey; they were molten silver. They caught the light like a precious metal woven like a ribbon into cinnabar-red hair. Crowley could have been a queen, fallen asleep after a long day in her finery. He could have been a fae whose very essence was beauty, sleeping with no fear that it would be stolen away because it couldn't.

He could have been an ordinary man, who was so deeply, truly loved that even his grey hairs seemed to shine like the soft gleam of a newly-forged star when they caught the last strong beams of afternoon sunlight shining in through the windows.

Aziraphale hoped Crowley could see it, too.

Crowley made a grumpy noise. "I still don't want it on Tumblr. — Not that I can tell you what to do with your art, but—"

Aziraphale interrupted him with a warm smile. "I don't want it on Tumblr, either. I drew this just for me."

"...really? Even though...?"

"Just for me," Aziraphale whispered in confirmation, his eyes seeking out Crowley's and saving him from having to finish that sentence. "I've only ever drawn you for me." I love you to the point of creation, his heart sang. It wasn't quite how that quote went, he knew. It was the only way it had ever gone, for him.

"Hn..." Crowley shifted to look at the iPad where it lay down on the floor. "I suppose... Well. Despite the subject matter, you drew it well, at least."

"Well, thank you for that," Aziraphale jibed back lightly, completely devoid of malice.

"Ngh, you can't blame me for feeling self-conscious about my greys when you haven't got any."

Aziraphale let out a huff of a laugh. "Oh, Crowley."

"What?" Crowley looked defensive, then abruptly switched to looking shrewd. "Wait. Do you dye them??" He leaned forward eagerly, like this was taboo knowledge.

"Oh, where was that compliment two decades ago? No, not at all. Do you know how long I spent getting over feeling self-conscious about them, and now for you to not even realize I have them?"

"No way. You've been holding out on me!" Crowley's eyes had a light in them that Aziraphale had seen sometimes — the look of someone who has been wanting something very much and thinks he's just figured out how to get it. Aziraphale drew back instinctively in trepidation. He had no idea what Crowley could possibly be wanting, though a fluttering feeling in his chest suggested that it was, in some way, him.

Ridiculous. As if they hadn't had sex already.

"I'm going to go get dinner started."

Crowley let out a whine that cut off abruptly enough that Aziraphale suspected he actually hadn't intended to make it.

Aziraphale paused. "What?"

"Ehhh... just envious, s'all."

Aziraphale took a moment to muse about whether Crowley knew the difference between "envious" and "jealous" and decided, firmly, that he had faith that he did. "Of what?" he asked with an incredulous laugh, since he still had no idea what "envious" could possibly apply to here.

"Negghhh, you've gotten to play with my hair enough to know I have greys, and I haven't gotten to touch yours once."

Aziraphale blushed darkly at that, remembering some choice occasions in which Crowley had gripped his hair tightly enough to hurt. He cleared his throat and opted not to mention them. "That feels much more like your fault than mine."

"Just... tryin'a respect your boundaries, angel."

"Why would that be a boundary?" Aziraphale asked, baffled.

"I asked for it and you haven't."

Aziraphale didn't quite remember it that way, but it was a fair enough interpretation from Crowley's point of view, he supposed. "Well, no. It sounds perfectly nice, but I'd hate to bore you with it. I know you're much more fidgety than I am."

"Not bored," Crowley insisted, his eyes urgent. "Never bored when it's you, angel. Siddown."

Aziraphale laughed breathily. "Too late. I'm already up to cook dinner."

"Angel."

"You'll just have to wait," Aziraphale teased in a singsong lilt, casting a smile back at Crowley over his shoulder.

Crowley flung himself back on the couch with an impatient whine, leaving Aziraphale feeling very smug about his attempt at whatever the romantic equivalent of foreplay was. Crowley sounded very much like he was being left with blue balls. "Bastard."

"Only as much as you deserve, my dear," Aziraphale sang back as he went into the kitchen, acutely aware of Crowley's eyes following every step.

—

It wasn't really in question, at all, that Aziraphale would end the evening snuggled on the couch with Crowley's hands in his hair. There was also no question that he'd enjoy it thoroughly, and he also knew it wasn't the kind of thing that was likely to lead to anything more. So, instead, he just relaxed into it and let his thoughts drift.

"...do you really think I'd mind if my red fox turned into a silver fox?" he mused. The thought was languid, easy, relaxed. Crowley spluttered in incoherent surprise anyway, and Aziraphale laughed softly. "Yes, I know. There's a reason I'm not the writer of the pair."

"Y'are, though. Don't think I've forgotten that you are."

Aziraphale blushed a little at that. "Oh."

Crowley's hands resumed their meditative motion through Aziraphale's hair. "But... yeah. I'd rock it, wouldn't I?"

"You would," Aziraphale murmured with a smile. "And I'm quite looking forward to seeing it someday, my dear."

[elaemae]

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

Chp.2

[TwstxObeyme!AFAB!reader]

Whoa.. 😳

Thanks for the feedback, likes and reblogs guys~ It really makes me happy that my hard work is appreciated😊

Guys, what gender should my story's Yuu be in? It's quite hard to refer to two different characters with both gender neutral pronouns 😅

READ FIRST; PROLOGUE:1

• • • •

Again; Pronouns used to refer to MC are blue, because MC will be mistaken for a guy a lot.

SYNOPSIS:

With the Opening Ceremony going off the rails for a second time, MC is more than eager to get back home and probably binge-watch their stress away with their emotionally-repressed boys.

Though with the current situation right now, they don't think that will be happening soon.. Oh well, at least they're not the only otherworldly outlier here... *Nightbringer flashbacks intensifies*

$o|0m°N?

On the other hand, Yuu makes a new friend.

Yuu doesn't know if this makes them a problematic person or not, but Yuu is happy that there's someone else in a similar predicament as them in this strange world, even if it meant that their new companion also had to be kidnapped by a problematic school/lowkey-highkey a cult to be here as well.

But of course, there's trouble in the horizon as the whole fiasco in the mirror ceremony caused the students of NRC to keep a close and careful gaze onto the MC. I'm talkin' from but not limited to; The Fish Mafia, Queen of hearts and Evil queen Incarnates, even down to your perfectly normal 500+ year old war-veteran that looks like a child.

Meanwhile, The Devildom, Human world, and The Celestial realm are feeling a sense of something foreboding in the air... It's probably nothing though.. right?......right?? The calm before the storm. Or the calm before anyone barges into MC's room.

Prologue: 2 Electric-boogaloo

Watching the mysterious and somewhat confused-looking student continuously dodge Riddle and Azul's spells with a calm expression, sharp gaze and a frightening precision, Lilia is waiting for the perfect time to jump in.

Preferably when the student ran in front of him so that he could tackle him to the ground.

Crowley isn't doing anything but screech. Again.

Haah....

• • • •

Azul's smile widens when this ever mysterious new student blocks Riddles' Signature spell by quickly spinning his fancy staff into a make-shift shield once again. what an interesting staff, transforming from a necklace into a cane that can be used for offense and defense..

Azul straight up grins he can see Schoenheit's smile and Kingscholar's shit-eating smirk from here, as well as hear Shroud's maniacal giggles when Riddle screeches at the student to just cooperate and that "NO WE ARE NOT A CULT!!!!" "That's what cults always say!"

Prompting a round of laughter from the useles– *ehem* new students in the hall. How annoying..

What an amusing lad.. Though, Azul wonders.. can all his other jewelry transform as well? Besides the earrings, choker, necklace and forehead ornament that he's wearing, the student also has a ring in his middle finger and in both of his ring fingers, a wide bracelet, and even some bangles in his ankles.

And if all of those jewels can transform into something?....Ohhh, then he really needs to get his hands on them asap.

Seeing Lilia gearing up to jump the student, Azul shifted a bit and tried to lead the student closer to Lilia.

Help idk how to describe shit💀

You click your tongue as you got surrounded by Mr. bird-bitch, that red-mf, Solomon-but-from-wish, Columbina's cousin, lion-dude, "I'm a bad-bitch with a sad past" guy, and a floating tablet.

You ended up getting bound by the bird-bitch's whip the moment you tried to leap off a window in your belphie-escaping-his-responsibilities style. Your pact mark of pride flickered, and Lucifer wonders what MC could be dreaming about for their pride to have taken a hit at this time of the night.

You turned your staff back into a necklace by then, so you couldn't really block the whip and that redhead's spell from hitting you.

You had socked Walmart-Solomon in the face though when he sneakily tried to take one of your bangles while you were being yanked back from the window. Satan stirred in his sleep, feeling but not registering the creeping irritation under your skin.

So now you're here, with a collar for your troubles and a whip locking your arms to your body.

You're just about to resentfully summon Lucifer or something when the redhead who collared you with this uncomfortable fugly-ass neckwear started lecturing you and shit about etiquette and how disrespectful you are for trying to leap out the window and how you should be honored to be there blahblahblah—

Hell no. You ain't letting this short-pimp talk to you like this. (You should really stop hanging around too much with Asmo. Or Levi when he's being a hater on the internet.)

Satan stirred once again, starting to rouse from his slumber as he felt your irritation start to turn into embers of anger.

Lucifer furrows his brows, feeling a rush of indignity that can only have come from you. But why? Weren't you in bed? He hasn't felt you leave through any of the detection barriers he'd set up around your room so you should still be inside, right?

"I think it's much more disrespectful to have your fuckin horses kidnap someone straight from their goddamn bed just to attend a little ceremony they've never even heard of."

You narrow your eyes as you see the bird-man and goons look taken aback in varying degrees of obviousness. (A figure near the mirror perked-up; 'Maybe this person is in a similar situation as them!')

Bruh, what the fuck did they expect??

• • • • •

The Vice-prefects of all seven dorms have led the new students out of the Ceremony hall, leaving behind the five (sorry Mal. Also, Jamil's ass definitely dragged Kalim out with him.) dorm leaders with the headmaster to solve the issues of the sTiLl-uNdEr-tHe-efFecTs-oF-tHe-teLepoRtaTioN-sPelL new student who utterly refuses to cooperate with them.

Riddle is about to combust, Leona wants to go back to bed only to be dragged back by the headmaster—, Vil wants his beauty sleep but was dragged back by that petty bitch, Leona—, While Idia and Azul decided to stick around for their own personal reasons. ("He looks like an anime character—" "Brother, I don't think it's good to be taking pictures of someone without permission—" "AHH–! O-ORTHO?!")

While Yuu is.. hiding behind the mirror.

(The kinda-silver haired guy seems to be in his seventh ritual of making sure his face didn't get bruised from the solid right hook to the face he got.)

(Yuu would've felt bad for him if the guy didn't have such a shady smile on his face while he was massaging his punched jaw.)

Meanwhile...

"Oy human, it's me!"

Mammon knocked on MC's door, fully intent on bothering their sleep and cozying up on their bed again.

He waited for a few seconds, no answer.

He knocked again.

No answer.

... Look, it's not like The Great Mammon is worried or anything but this is strange..

The human always answers their door after a knock or two even if it's the middle of the night.

... Dammit.

Mammon is full of grumbles as he consciously sharpens his senses, tryna sense his the human.

They better not be ignoring him or he'll–

Wait.

What? W- wait a second..

• • • •

The quietness of the night in the House of Lamentation vanished as the sound of a door being busted down rang out.

It's other residents could barely even register the sound before a shout rang out. A shout that sent dread right into their cores.

"MC?!"

← Pr. 1 | Chapter List | Prologue 3 →

'What the?! Why can't I summon them??'

Elae: Hehe~ I'm back with some food~

Thanks for reading this far, I hope you enjoyed this chapter😊

Btw, do y'all want Yuu to be a love interest?

How do I tag ppl??

[vavoom-sorted-art]

Of Kings And Kids: Chapter two!

@gaiaseyes451 and me present: Chapter 2 is live on Ao3!

A little excerpt from Chapter 2:

Crowley's eyes were determinedly fixed on the road below as he sipped the wine. “That them?”

Aziraphale followed his gaze and spotted figures on the road, approaching the town’s entrance. A young man was leading a donkey at a gentle pace, he was tall but slight and wore the plain roughspun garments of a tradesman. The animal, burdened with the standard saddlebags, was also carrying a young woman, even from this distance she was visibly pregnant and swayed with the donkey’s movements.

A quiet fell over them, the playfulness of the moment had passed. ”Yes, that’s them.”

“Look pretty normal to me.”

Aziraphale nodded, “that’s part of the point, I think. Humble beginnings, nothing outwardly to indicate they’re particularly special.”

“Then why them? What’s so special?”

Aziraphale could feel Crowley’s eyes on him but he continued watching the party’s slow progress toward town. “Well, they fulfill the prophecy that the Messiah will come from the line of King David. They’re both descendents – distant cousins, not that it matters, in this case. She – Mary – is pure of heart and deeply faithful. Joseph understands his role, the importance of the child he will adopt.”

“Hardly seems fair,” Crowley gruffed.

“In what way? She is showing them tremendous favor. Entrusting them with Her only son, to be the Earthly guardians of the Messiah.” Aziraphale’s voice was steady but it lost some of its conviction as he met Crowley’s gaze. “They are the most favored humans to have ever lived – who will ever live.”

“Sure, they’re favored. But…but, they’re people. Humans.” His voice was intense even though it was barely above a whisper. “Musta had some idea for their lives, some hope for what it’d be like, being married, being parents. Now what? Caught up in Her plan, but what about theirs? And the kid, his entire purpose is set before he’s even born!”

This wasn’t the first time Crowley had questioned Her plan to Aziraphale; he knew his answer would be wholly insufficient. “It’s ineffable.”

The demon snorted. “It’s unfair.”

The sun was sinking into the late afternoon as they watched Mary and Joseph finally arrive in Bethlehem

*~*~*

Read the full chapter on Ao3

Find all related posts here.

[addledmongoose]

Good Omens Fanfic Friday (20 Sep 2024)

Because I finished my first draft of my latest (a Reverse Omens AU), and because two separate bangs are starting to come out this month, I have a really long list of (mostly short) stories to recommend this week. And if you like your GO fanfic smut-free, this is the list for you. Only one of these stories is rated E.

These first three aren't part of any bang.

Tadfield Zoo (40K; Rated E) by @groovynightstrawberry

Human AU. Crowley is the zoo's herpetologist. Aziraphale is the new vet. Crowley needs a plus one for his cousin's wedding, and Anathema has a great idea.

***

There’s no algorithm for the ineffable (12K; Rated T) by @thinkinginscripts

Human AU. A lovely, angst-free short with a lot of wonderful witty dialogue between the Ineffable Husbands.

Aziraphale Fell has been running Heavenly Matches, bespoke dating concierge for queer professionals looking for serious relationships, for over twenty years. His success rate is unsurpassed.

His new client, Mr Crowley, is just lovely - there are plenty of candidates interested in taking him to dinner. But after three dates with three perfect men, Crowley's not even sure what he wants anymore.

***

Flowers From Hell (42K; Rated T) by @entanglednow

I loved this story so much. Set post-notpocalypse, Aziraphale makes an effort to get more involved in Crowley's interests, especially his love of gardening. I don't want to spoil it, but I can say you will absolutely fall in love with Ivy.

***

These shorts are part of the GO Fairy Tale Minibang. There are a lot of stories in this collection, so be sure to check them out if you like fairy tales.

The Marriage of Robin Redbreast and the Wren (9K; Rated G) by @starryfull13

A Scottish tale about a wild red-breasted robin and a wren of the Royal court.

***

A Warrior in a Garden (9.8K; Rated T) by @snarky-synesthete

Set post-scene after Wessex, Aziraphale is a Knight of the Table Round when Crowley shows up to sow discord as Morgana la Fey. This story could have easily fit in the GO world like an extended Wessex minisode.

***

The True(ish) Tale of Hansel and Gretel (4K; Rated G)

Aziraphale arrives in a small town to find several of the village children missing and goes to find the witch responsible, only to stumble upon a lovely, ginger-haired demon he hasn't seen in a few years.

***

The Bounds of Gold (18K; Rated T) by @suavissimapenna

Human AU. Nice twist on the Rumplestilskin story.

All Aziraphale wants is to Illuminate a book commissioned by the royal family, but a gold shortage in the kingdom means he has to use a cursed spell book to spin straw into gold. All Crowley wants is to escape the curse that's bound him to the spell book for centuries. When the royal family finds out about Aziraphale’s new skill, things go to hell in a handbasket. A Rumplestilskin AU.

***

When The Lanterns Are Lit (5.7K; Rated G) by @the-ineffable-dance

Deep in The Wood, pixies Aziraphale and Crowley live a life of carefree delight. But when a doorway into Faerie appears, Aziraphale and Crowley have to work together to help two lost human boys admit the feelings they have for each other... and maybe recognize their own feelings along the way!

***

These stories are part of the Do It With Style Silver Screen bang. There are a lot more stories in the works, so be sure to check it out.

The Bookshop Around the Corner (18K; Rated G) by @luinlothana

It's You've Got Mail in the GO universe. This is NOT a human AU. It's the story of angel who doesn't want to sell books and a demon who is feeling a wee bit guilty about one of his plans coming to fruition.

***

The Crowley Family Values (11K; Rated T) by @ezomind-the-other-one

Human AU. As the name implies, this is a crossover fic with the Addams Family Values. If you don't know the other IP, you might struggle a bit simply because the dark humor can seem odd, but if you do know the Addams Family, you'll find the story fits perfectly with the style of humor.

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil!

My cousin got me an Aziraphale Funko Pop to go with the Crowley I already have (not pictured - he's on my desk at the moment)

What are your thoughts on Azi's missing eyebrow?

He looks very surprised.

[harunayuuka2060]

Principal Ambrose: I've heard you've caused an explosion in your History class.

Principal Ambrose: By trying to complete an unfinished experiment from the Science lab.

MC: I was trying to submit it before the deadline, sir.

Principal Ambrose: Ohoho! You don't care about deadlines, my child.

Principal Ambrose: You did it on purpose.

Principal Ambrose: Anyway, your goal was to startle the students and nobody was harmed.

MC: But I'm still in trouble.

Principal Ambrose: Not exactly. I've just happened to notice that you were not willing to socialize with other Royal Swords, so I'm thinking...

Principal Ambrose: Why don't I pair you with our senior students?

MC: Excuse me?

Principal Ambrose: They're tall, handsome, and kind gentlemen. I'm sure you're going to enjoy their company.

MC: ...

Khalil: *a cousin of Kalim, almost looks like him but with blue eyes and longer hair*

Obert: *a distant descendant of Princess Odette and Prince Derek* *has cute freckles*

Beau: *is based of Princess Belle* *holding a very thick book* *adjusts his glasses*

Beau: Principal Ambrose told us about your situation.

Obert: Yes. If I'm not mistaken, he described you as "one, spoiled brat".

Khalil: Don't be ridiculous, Obert. That's not what the principal's words are.

Khalil: He said that they're "a neglected child who needs loving and caring environment*

MC: ...

Beau: *looking disappointedly at his roommates*

Beau: You're from Night Raven College, aren't you?

MC: Yes.

Beau: I'll give you a pass. You can throw a punch or two on both of their faces.

Beau: Here's a seat so you can reach them.

Khalil: B-Beau! That's so mean!

Obert: H-Hey! Don't listen to him!

MC: *already cracking their knuckles*

Malleus: Is there no call from the child of man?

Ace: Unfortunately, no.

Crowley: *Malleus turned him into a crow* Draconia-kun, the Prefect is doing well in Royal Sword Academy.

Crowley: Why don't you fix our dear school and change me back to normal?

Malleus: No child of man, no Night Raven.

Crowley: You're being unfair! Why are you doing this just for a single student who isn't even from Twisted Wonderland?!

Ace: Because Prefect is the only human who treated him right?

Crowley: ...

Crowley: Well, if you really love them so much? Why don't you follow them to Royal Sword Academy?!

Ace: H-Headmage?! Are you crazy?!

Malleus: ...

Malleus: If I transfer to Royal Sword Academy, you'll be a bird...

Malleus: Forever.

Crowley: ...

Crowley: Alright. Please don't transfer.

[eras-mus]

I'M BACK BECAUSE YOU NEED ASK

So just, hear me out. M or GN!Reader that is biologically Hades and Maleficent son/child, Aurora is his little sister (he's in second year at NRC and Aurora in first year in a girl school).

How Platonic!Crowley, and any character’s you want, will react at the family days when they come to school for Reader ? (It's bad explained, i know.)

Ignore it if you don't want to write it.

Have a good day and night.

PS : The Alice Yuu was perfect.

Maleficent! ± Hades! Male! Reader

×You are Malleus's cousin

×Asra is your adopted sister and unknown to everyone, Silvers actual sister

×You and Idia are childhood friends (I don't think he's related to Hades, correct me if I'm wrong)

×You're not Yuu

×You're and third year Ignihyde student

Sorry I haven't been posting, I didn't have any motivation!

-

There were many things that were well known about Y/n, most people considered him an open book, but his family life stayed a mystery.

There were a few things that people could gather by just talking to him; his mom died, his dad remarried (Persephone), and he had known the shroud brothers for a long time.

The reason Y/n kept his family a secret was because he saw how people would avoid Malleus, leaving him alone and unwelcomed, but for some ungodly reason, nothing could be left a secret in this school.

Family day.

A day that Y/n had managed to avoid in the past thanks to either Idias hacking or a quick excuse that only makes sense because Crowley is an idiot.

But this year he forgot all about the dreaded day.

The day started as any other, he straightened out his uniform, found something to drink, and started making his way to the cafeteria.

But then he saw those gargoyles from the underworld waiting for him in the second he stepped out of his dorm mirror.

"He he- see I told you he'd be here if we waited long enough!" The shorter one spoke.

"Well, excuse me for hoping the boy had learned to get up earlier for once!" Panic shouted back.

"What are you two doing here?" Y/n asked, stunned.

"Well, we just missed ya and your horrible attitude soooo much!" Pain started. "NO! Its family day dumb-fuck."

"Does that mean dads here!"

"Of course, he is, he wasn't going to miss is first AND only chance to see you at your school." The taller one said in a tone most wouldn't dare have with the son of a god.

"FUCK! I gotta go!"

And just like that, the teenager was off like his head was going to be cut off.

"Not even a 'How are you?' or 'How's the Underworld?' Typical."

The cafeteria was filled with people in awe of one of the most recognizable people in the world. No one had the nerve to approach him as he tried to find his son and instead just circled around him, entranced by his existence.

"Have any of you seen my son?" The god asked the crowd, "He's about this tall, Ingihyde, of course, and always half asleep."

"Uncle! So good to see you." A familiar pair of horns made its way through the crowd.

"Ah, Malleus, have you seen Y/n? It appears no one else here as." Hades asked as he brought the younger boy in for a hug.

Malleus chuckled, "Unfortunately, not today, he normally sleeps in quite late."

"I assume he got that habit from that Shroud boy?"

"Probably."

"DAD!"

Everyone turned to see the boy whose father left everyone so stunned and audible gasps were heard as students quickly realized the similarities between their magic.

"Y/n! My boy! How have you been? Have you finally made some new friends?"

"What do you mean new friends! I have plenty of friends-"

"Name three other than Idia and Ortho."

"Well, there's Silver, and..." He thought for a moment "Well how have you been?"

"Well busy with the Underworld and ACTUAL responsibilities, unlike Zeus and the other gods."

"Yeah, yeah, let's go talk about that outside." Y/n said trying to rush his dad outside.

As they entered the courtyard Y/n noticed Deuce showing his mom around and Ace getting bullied by his brother. As Hades rambled on to his son about how unfair his job was Crowely took notice of the god and quickly made his way over in hope of some positive publicity.

"Y/n! I'm so happy to see you and your father enjoying yourselves!"

"Well, everything would be perfect but we're waiting on a couple more people." Hades started. "Do you think you could tell them where we are?"

"Who else did you invite!?" Y/n could already feel the eyebags start to form under his eyes as he wished he'd stayed in bed.

"Asra and Persephone!" Hades smiled.

"Stay here I'll go find them."

"Stay here and do what? I'll be bored out of my mind."

"Talk to Crowley or something! I don't care, just stay here!"

Y/n made his way back to the Ingihyde dorm, if he was going to do this, he was going to make Idia suffer with him.

"Get your ass up! It's family day!" The boy just barged into the others dorm, as he often did.

"What does that have to do with me!?"

After a couple minutes of arguing, Idia was now walking close behind Y/n with his tablet in hand. The loud environment was Idias worst nightmare, and he will never know how he was talked into this.

"Y/N!"

That was all the two heard before said boy was tackled to the ground by a familiar head of long white hair. A few looks a shock were shot their way making Idia jump.

"Asra! GET OFF OF ME!"

"So whiney!" She stuck her togue out. "Are you mad cause I interrupted your time with you boyfriend!"

Once again Idia jumped from something the girl did. This has been an ongoing joke that was only funny to one girl and very annoying to the brother and his friend.

"He wishes!" Y/n said, shoving his sister lightly.

"Now kids," a voice so graceful that it could only belong to one person spoke. "We're in public, act like it."

Soon the four made it back to the courtyard where Malleus, Pain, and Panic had joined Hades and Crowley.

"So, you started the Gargoyle club in our honor, right?" Panic asked, nudging Malleus.

Malleus laughed in response, "No but you two did he with my interest in gargoyles."

As soon as the four joined the crowed Crowely insisted he get a picture.

"It will be perfect for the school Magicam! Now say 'family!'"