#chat post

[petitprincess1]

Lucifer: Look what you've done to my peonies!

Alastor: They're marigolds!

Charlie: Dad, I think he's right, they are marigolds.

Lucifer: I may not know my flowers, but I know a BITCH when I see one!

[cocopop-04]

Dick: *ordering the other batkids around* Steph: yes, mum Dick: *splutters* why am i the mum? Jason: Dickface, have you seen your motherhenning? Steph: Plus, Babs has to be the dad Dick: But I'm dating Wally! Tim: You and Babs are divorced. Wally's the fun step-dad. Dick: *sighs* Well, fine. What about B? *all fall silent* Steph: He's the weird, edgy uncle

From chapter 5 of my fic World Without Grown-Ups on ao3.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46697407/chapters/117609160

[shieldherostuffs]

Naofumi: Hold up, I need to crack my back.

Naofumi’s Back: *The most ungodly cracking known to humanity*

Motoyasu: HOLY SHIT! Did you just break your back?!

Naofumi: Nope, that's just the sounds it makes after having to constantly carry everyone through the Waves.

[valiantstarlights]

Hob, talking to Dream on the phone while he's grading papers: So the kids (Rose and Jed) are visiting this weekend?

Dream: Yes.

Hob, distracted by the essay he's reading about Marlowe being better than Shitsbeard: Wonderful. Should I prepare some homemade meals for them?

Dream: No. I shall be the one to procure the food and drinks, as you have a late lecture class on Friday.

Hob, still kinda distracted: Oh, thanks, Dream. See you soon then, yeah?

Dream: Yes, Hob.

Hob: Alright, bye, I love you. *hangs up*

Dream:

Dream:

Dream:

Dream, appearing right next to Hob in the Waking World: I am in love with you as well, Hob Gadling. *kisses him on the lips and immediately peaces out*

Hob:

Matthew, who Dream had accidentally left behind:

Hob:

Matthew:

Hob: DID HE JUST--

Matthew: well to be fair you did say I love you to him first

Hob:

Hob: I did WHAT

Matthew: dammit I can't believe he left me behind again

[celesteablack]

Abb itna bhi na karu main?

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Ladybug: Stop this Chat noir!

(The area around them covered by downed heroes. Only Chat noir and Ladybug are standing. He was the one that took them down.)

Chat noir: No. I will not.

Ladybug: We can talk about this! You don’t need to act like a Mon… (stops herself)

Chat noir: (tears start falling) Like a what? Go on, SAY IT!

Ladybug: You aren’t…

Chat noir: (wipes tears) You’re right. I’m not a monster. My father was… and you let me think he was a hero! I’d say there is only one monster standing right now. And it’s the one wearing spots.

[x-emeraldsky-x]

Sasuke: Sakura...

Sakura: Yeah?

Sasuke: I want to try... being more affectionate in public... is that okay?

Sakura: O-of course! Absolutely!

*later that day*

Sasuke: *talking to Naruto and Shikamaru on the street*

Sakura: *walks up to them and slaps Sasuke's ass, holding her hand there* What's up, fellas!

Sasuke: *covers his face, blushing* This isn't what I meant, Sakura!

[sees-text-shenans]

now we need the inverse, one where minty is broke from fusing personas :)

rest in rip

[randomotherkin]

god: behold my child, i bestow a human body upon thee (with xx chromosomes)

me, transmasc and otherkin: thanks i hate it

[fehck]

[will-graham-crackers]

probably canon

hannibal: what did the cannibal get when he came home late for dinner? :3 will (done with this shit): what. hannibal: the cold shoulder! will: GOD DAMN IT.

(do they kiss? does will turn hanni into jack for his bullshit? up to your interpretation!)

[petitprincess1]

Yogirt, interrupting a court session: Satan, sorry, I just thought you'd want a latte with steamed Pride goat milk~

Satan: What do I look like, an imbecile? Of course, I want a latte. I love the way you make them!

[adhdbisexualramblings]

Michael, suspicious: ...

Michael: Evil-supercomputer-say-what.

The SQUIP: What?

Michael: HA!

[shieldherostuffs]

L'Arc: Is... Is this not the Shield Devil? L'Arc: I thought the Shield Devil was supposed to be evil and scary. L'Arc, gesturing to Naofumi: That's not evil or scary. That's a homosexual!

[valiantstarlights]

Dream: I want this, Hob. Will you buy it for me?

Hob: Of course, darling. Anything you want.

Corinthian: What the-- You can't buy that for him!

Hob: Why not? I have more than enough money to buy Dream anything he wants.

Matthew: Dude, we're playing Monopoly.