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myopicry · 1 month

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Hi hi! It's ya girrrlll

So I read your rant (delightful BTW, I'm a nosey hater at heart lol) and am here to ramble too! :3

Firstly though, I'm really sorry for the situation you're in and hope it gets better. I'm lucky enough to have an accepting family (my parents and sister at the very least) and to have recently moved to western Europe where it's pretty progressive(?) in terms of lgbt stuff (ignore the fascists and right wingers behind me trying to access the governments), but I can imagine how isolating your experiences might feel. Hang in there, there are better things in store, I'm sure!

Now for the rest of your rant, I found that you've raised some interesting points, notably about how amabs can easily take on the lesbian label while some afabs have yet to claim it for themselves due to the homophobia they mightve endured and amabs probably haven't thus far (they probably dealt with transphobia as transfems, which I'm not gonna diminish no matter my views on transgenderism, but they probably haven't really dealt with lesbo/homophobia especially if they're pre-transition). Afterall, lesbian transfems were probably straight guys before, and their orientation is sure as hell not condemned by the wider society.

It kind of reminds me of this one lesbian transgirl ik who I met on a server on discord and formed a group of online friends there which included her. I knew her before she came out/identified as trans and I remember at that time she'd sometimes mention how she'd listen to lewd asmr of girls and such. She also talked about how she wished she was lesbian. So I, being the lesbian debator I am, basically said that that's not a great thing to say (I refrained from saying it sounds fetishy), but she replied with basically saying that I don't understand and that lesbian love or whatever is so "pure" unlike hetero love or something. So guess how I felt when she started identifying as a lesbian trans girl and later found out it's something observable in a portion of the online transbian community (not saying every transbian is like this, but still). (Oh yh she also (sort of?) cheated on her gf so there's that but I don't think it's related.)

I think I feel a similar sentiment as you in the sense that while I can sympathise with some of the struggles transfems may face, I find it irritating at times when people seem to go above and beyond to label/treat them as "the most sapphic and lesbian ever" as you put it, most of the time in an effort to validate their identity and place in the sapphic and wider lgbt community, when they probably never had to face the struggles afab sapphics were faced with since forever and more importantly some say some... Questionable things about their orientation and attraction to women. Not all obviously, but still. Am I making any sense lol?

I definetely don't think transbians have 0 place in the sapphic community, I think it's a complicated matter and there can be some gray areas (I also have grown increasingly distant from the (at least online) lgbt/lesbian community the past year so idrc about most discourse ig), but I kind of wish this was all treated more "normally" if that makes sense and that afab lesbians or sapphic could talk about certain things related to their orientation without constantly being scrutinised to make sure they're including trans folk in everything ever. I also kind of wish we could call out problematic behaviour in trans people without being called transphobic, but I think this applies to specific cases mostly.

Anyway I think I was mostly nonsensical here, apologies, but feel free to reply to whatever you managed to latch onto here lol.

Also, if you ever feel the need to vent and don't feel comfortable airing those issues on tumblr.com for whatever reason, my dms are always open, I check into this hellsite daily <3

~🪼

(wow retroactive preface I go on a long ass ramble about semantics in this I apologize in advance for how many times you might have to read the word "definition" lmao)

hey!! so happy to keep seeing you here around these parts (my inbox, that is) and I'm glad you especially do get some enjoyment out of my far less polished vent posts :p I always feel bad when I post something so singularly interesting to me and me alone because it is just a full on personal blog moment, but to be fair to myself this entire blog is an exercise in actually voicing my own opinions and feelings for the sake of learning to express myself better, and it is nice to know even in the least poignant or least thought out posts, it isn't just fully self-beneficial lmao

I also (of course, as always) appreciated your response! honestly, I admire how level-headed and nuanced you can be with these topics, I myself often feel like I swing wildly from being harsher with my words and trying desperately to be as passive as possible to appease everyone, and I do have to say it is an ongoing challenge for me sometimes to strike that perfect balance between understanding but still standing by my convictions and not solely focused on people pleasing. it's a bit of a weird life, in my private time I do feel like I tend to be highly cynical and sort of an asshole lolol, especially towards other people, but in public I would never dare say any of the things I think because at the end of the day, I do still feel as if preserving friendly atmospheres among peers is paramount to being a productive part of a society. I'm like the opposite of the asshole with a heart of gold trope, in a way. gold with the heart of an asshole lmao

all that to say, I think you make some really astute observations that are still compassionate to trans women who identify as lesbian, while still pointing out the objective faults of their common language and behavior! I really think this (like so many issues whose current is pushed most strongly by the english speaking west) is a matter of semantics for the most part. labels, communities based on labels, and their inherent flaws I guess. because I really have no problem with someone identifying as a trans woman and also having a sexuality surrounding liking women, or if they want to talk about it or even if they want to define it separately than heterosexual attraction. it's their attraction, and I'm not the ceo of how people choose to define their own sexuality (and I wouldn't want to be, that sounds like a headache job lmao). for me, I think the issue really comes with when personal definitions of sexuality are enforced upon others, and when suddenly, highly personal definitions become community-defining ones. the term "sapphic" is such a great example of this weird treatment of labels and their definitions. the term "sapphic" can mean a lot of different things to different people, despite the fact that it is, at its core, a term held together by a single definition. in our society people will ideologically define every single word in a definition differently (ex. what does love mean? what does a woman mean (lol)?) and so even a fairly universal term can be personal based on one's own framework of thinking. BUT the thing is, a lot of transbians/people who identify as queer/tra positive/whatever you want to call the current hegemonic popular opinions of the lgbtq+ have taken to a personal definition of words like lesbian and sapphic, and have decided to supplant the originally fairly universal term and replace it with something that does kind of inadvertently alienate a lot of people who identify with the most "neutral" and non-ideological version of the definition (women who love/are attracted to women). instead, the basic definition has essentially shifted in its meta, though the words stay the same, the meaning is pushed to imply these terms can be understood as "someone who identifies as a woman who loves/are attracted to people who they identify as women" and that's just both too broad and too specific at the same time, excluding those who don't agree with the notion of identifying into what was previously understood as a sex class, and including people who wouldn't have even met the original definitional criteria to begin with. this, in turn, creates a vacuum in meaning, allowing for "aesthetic" to take over as the primary meaning of the term. I think that's where that "weirdness" comes in.

it's hard to find community with people who are coming at the definition of what the community is built on from a completely different direction. when I think of being "sapphic" (other than the brainrotting pop culture/online/algorithmically driven stereotypes) I simply think of being attracted to my same sex, that being female, and that being women. but, I would assume for transfems, they obviously don't have the simple way of just relying on same sex attraction as a definition, because they don't see the world in that way definitionally, and must apply more effort to justify why their attraction to women deserves to distinctively be defined from regular opposite sex attraction. that's where we get the strange insistence on sapphic love being more "pure" or making their entire personality curated towards "sapphic culture". in a way, though on the surface I am still pretty jealous that they get the privilege to express these thoughts and be backed up so strongly by people I know who would care less about me, I do feel bad that they must subconsciously feel the need to "prove" they meet the criteria for these labels because for them, there is no easy, biologically material fitting of the definition. I personally will have never have to care that much about fitting lesbian stereotypes or involving my life in sapphic culture. in fact, I basically can't not be sapphic. it's just the only way my future looks. it's the only way my attraction manifests. people will see me as a lesbian (well, that or a nerdy disheveled teenage boy at first glance lmao) just based on how I don't present in a way that centers men. it's the only way I fall in love.

and yeah, it really would be nice if there was space for a community where we could discuss that reality, openly, in mainstream progressive spaces! but for reasons that would be pretty bleak if we unraveled them, people would much rather play these games of labels and proving your place in them than creating avenues for people to congregate in spaces that actually bring them community and cater to their needs.

as always after these really really tangled word threads I slowly begin to run out of steam so I'll just wrap this up and say you made excellent points dear anon! maybe one day we can all just accept that sometimes definitions should be exclusive in that they exclude people who don't fit them, and not exclusive in the way that they exclude people who do fit them, and that afab women, and especially afab sapphics, deserve the right to preserve spaces for themselves without having to worry about appeasing men or anyone they don't want to!

and wow holy shit this is a whole lot of words trying to pick apart the way words can mean other words sometimes I would not blame anyone if they skim most of it lmao.

tl;dr the meta of labels and their definitions are kinda dumb and I'm maybe more dumb for spending so much time thinking about them

and lastly, thank you for the kind offer of your dm space as an area for venting! perhaps...I will take you up on that offer...it is inevitable I will be struck by another petty urge to vent about people in my life because I continue to work with people who are essentially the most fascinating but headache inducing parts of tumblr and twitter personified and I do still primarily have very "gendery" friends irl! we'll see if I end up having anything interesting to say about it though first, or if I can bear to actually talk to someone online once instead of passively yelling into the digital void!

#anon I really love the vibes you bring to my blog I genuinely think your writing helps balance out the growing cynicism within me lmao #it's grounded and concise in a way that really forms a nice contrast with the oft unhinged and unedited mind vomit I end up writing :p #plus you just seem like a kind and nuanced person!! which is awesome!! especially for tumblr the famously unnuanced website lolol #and thanks for the well wishes !! luckily I'm privileged enough to not be in danger for my sexuality and honestly that's the most important #responding to asks.#not lying about the inevitable future venting I do in fact encounter a lot of mind-numbing progressive university student body shenanigans #young people do tend to be silly :p #myo is rambling.

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pe0ple3ater · 8 months

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so im trawling nsfw!qsmp tumblr and just saw your tazer/craft/fit fic and a) loved it loved it loved it, fave ship + fantastic writing = 😍😍😍 and 2) i KNOW everyone loves blushing virgin!Fit (i do too) but the way he was so casual when mike showed up in your fic made me think: virgin!Fit who doesnt know the difference between kinky and vanilla. missionary? surprise threesome with your soulmate? all the same, how is Fit supposed to know whats 'normal' or not for sex when this is his first time ever? (this is sort of a prompt for you if u are inspired in any way but also i just wanted to share a thought 👍)

I can't think of a way to make this into a full drabble but I love this idea so much so have a rant.

Fit who's never really had much sex until he gets with Pac and Mike. The first time they have sex, it's so soft and sweet. Fit has Pac laid out on his back and he's fucking him in missionary and maybe Mike is lurking but he stays away so they can have their moment.

The next time they have sex, it's completely different. Mike's got Fit held down while he chokes on his dick until he's crying and Pac riding his face. Mike is being mean as fuck, edging Fit until he's one touch away from blowing his load and scolding him when he gets too distracted to eat Pac out properly.

Fit is shocked by the intensity switch, but he's never really had sex before so what does he know? Mike absolutely takes advantage of this fact, pulling out random shit to torture Fit with and broadening his kink horizons very quickly.

#qsmpnsfw #m!ke #f!t #p@c #i loved this idea anon thank you #I'm sorry I couldn't write something substantial

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tokillamockingbird427 · 10 months

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Overheard conversations pt44

Ajax: That wasn’t our escape route right?

Keegan: Oh you mean the one that’s been blocked off? Yes, it was.

Ajax: Shit.

He's so calm, hiding the massive ball of panic that he really is. Ajax knows this. Ajax knows if he doesn't get something figured out in five minutes that Keegan's gonna go into cardiac arrest from the stress of it. Ajax will also go into cardiac arrest from the stress of Keegan.

#call of duty #call of duty ghosts #keegan p russ #alex v johnson aka ajax #beloved anon #kejax #I'm counting it. if you can stress over someone's well being bad enough to stroke out you're in love: I don't make the rules

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non-fantasy · 8 months

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Hello!! I saw your post about the game you're making - it sounded fascinating, and out of curiousity about a genre I don't know much about I got into a visual novel/dating sim related rabbit hole.

If you don't mind my asking, do you have any recommendations? VN or datesims or both! or any adjacents too.

(thank you, and good luck with the game!!)

YIPPEE!!!

i'm a huge fan of it gets so lonely here because it does a lot of cool things with the narration and multiple playthroughs. her tears were my light does similar things with the multiple playthrough thing and it was the first visual novel to really open my eyes to what the genre could be like! and because apparently today is horror yuri day i will add liar liar and liar liar 2. the artstyle is very cute! and there's blood!

for less horror yuri and more dating sim, i am currently completely obsessed with tokimeki memorial girls side 1-3, the dating sim/visual novel/stat-raising hybrid that inspired a lot of otome games—— and for good reason, too, because it's JUST THAT GOOD. i almost exploded something trying to play the fourth game but i will not let that stop me

in pure visual novel, i have to recommend heartbaked, it was one of those games i played in my free visual novel frenzy when i was younger and it really stuck with me! i still think about the radley ending.

i adore adore adore pacthesis games and i would love to direct you to my number one favourite and inspiration, number days sim date, because the intertwining of plot and romance and friendship was wonderful. xolga and mr toko is more point and click but check those out too

i love you was REALLY GOOD and i adored it. if you want proactive women and blushing boys this is the game for you! kill them with blushing right now

senpai please look at me was good!!! i love it! absolutely worth sticking around for all the bonuses! very short and sweet and you will love it

sweetest valentine is a game. in a genre called :). if you don't know what :) means don't worry about it!

play yuki 4p for lesbians and its sequel, scheme, for even more dumb lesbians. i am absolutely begging you to click those links because the names are too long for me to type out and i don't know if googling lesbians scheme will bring you to the masterpiece properly

hermes and gry is REALLY FUNNY but also one of those games that opened my mind to how complex the ren'py system could be. you made a map, a constantly-updated journal, an inventory, and the best damn ending ever? i was screaming when all my evil schemes came together. absolutely 10/10 worth it if the creator wants my liver i'd hand it over

hot coffee is SO SO SO good that i ended up reaching out to the creator just to praise it so much please play it please i'm on my knees please

speaking of games i am begging you to play

absolutely play i want to pursue the mean side character and my sweet zombie!!!! tsun is a great artist and the stories are good and you have to have to have to have to play okay!!! tsun is also making i just want to be single which is so so so cool the game of the year every year and it hasn't been released yet and you need to become. a fan okay because aro pride is right now

#thank you anon it really was delightful to hear that you liked my game even before it was released!#i wanted to recommend no-good noelle but. apparently the creator just went offline?? sad #there was also our life beginnings and always which is very acclaimed and i loved the demo #but i haven't finished the full game so i don't want to recommend something i didn't finish #xoxo droplets is also good but it's half free half paid and i was focusing more on free stuff that is underrated #(p)lanets and heartstring bugs are also games i played years ago that i'm fond of #but like in a nostalgia kind of way.#it was absolutely wild to play tokimeki memorial girls side and realize that heartstring bugs was so heavily based off it tho #like it wasn't copying characters or settings but the stat raising and events and clothing system were all drawn from it #special shout out to corrine cross' dead and breakfast which isn't a visual novel or a dating sim #i just like it #i also need to clarify that her tears were my light is not like HORROR horror but like. existential gay nightmare kinda deal

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dootznbootz · 8 months

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opinions on helen of sparta being compared to prey animals? blink blink

*blink blinks back* Then immediately sits like this because of the question.

It's a good question that I'm happy to answer! It just makes me mad.... I sincerely hate the wording of "prey" being used to describe her.

SHE IS A VICTIM! THAT DOES NOT MEAN SHE IS "PREY"!

I can...see how people in ancient times may have used that word and still meant it in how she is a victim... but modern-day English-speaking people calling her that??? (considering how in different languages the word "prey" could have different meanings.) I'll just say that as someone who has been "prey" herself at one point, I REALLY hate that word as a descriptor. Just say victim or survivor. 👍

Honestly to call ANY victim "prey" is so fucked up. "Prey" to me, feels like "it's meant to happen." "Prey" are part of the food chain and so that's what happens. And to compare that to abduction and SA? Almost as if "that's our place"? It also kind of implies something being "eaten" or killed... Helen SURVIVES. She's traumatized and definitely needs healing and support but it's not like she can't find joy or peace ever again. Prey just feels so fucking gross.

Also, if someone calls victims "prey", I hope they know that Moose, Elk, Boars, Bovine, ZEBRAS, etc. are technically "prey". And these are VERY aggressive animals while still being "prey" for some other animals. And also that doesn't mean that "Oh, they're powerful! Clearly they should've been able to stop it." That's victim blaming :P

She is a clever, determined, caring woman who was ripped from her home for YEARS because Paris was a dipshit who decided he needed the prettiest woman in the world despite already having a wife. He didn't care about the fact that Helen didn't want to be there and was already married. He is so selfish that he will not let her go back even when THOUSANDS have died in the war! EVEN HIS BROTHER HECTOR AND PRIAM DO NOT BLAME HER! Granted, we do not know if Aphrodite would have let him undo their deal of "I want the prettiest woman" if he DID end up feeling bad for Helen and he wished to let her go home (I doubt it based on his personality though).

"Oh, if she is so independent/strong, then why didn't she just kill Paris and leave?"

AGAIN! Victim blaming!!! First thing, people who ask that have media literacy that is piss on the poor. You also have no idea about the political implications that would have happened if she DID kill Paris. She literally cries about staying there and argues with Aphrodite about seeing Paris, only to get strongarmed by Aphrodite as, guess what? A GODDESS WILL ALWAYS OVERPOWER A DEMIGOD. (This isn't Percy Jackson where he "killed" Ares as a 12 year old (Percy, you were my childhood, but that's bullshit.))

Even confined in Troy, she ARGUED with APHRODITE about going to see Paris! She is not some meek woman who just does as she's told with no pushback! She argued with a GODDESSS! Very few survive doing that!!!

She's not "Prey to fate", she's a "VICTIM of Fate".

#Thank you for the ask anon!!! :D It's a very fun question! I just really don't like the word of 'prey' being used to describe her.#...#Yes. there's poetic shit with writing. but if I heard someone say 'Helen is prey to Paris' I would be miffed and think that person's stupid #Prey just feels like 'one and done. You'll be a victim from now on and nothing else. You have no life after this.'#I mean you can probably say that if you simply mean that Paris is an abuser I guess. but...idk homies. I just really hate Helen being calle #that you know?#as if she could never be anything but prey in a way. as if she herself has never been the one pulling the strings or the trickster #Helen isn't a rabbit in an eagle's talons about to be eaten. She was a PRISONER. Who still lives and thrives afterward.#idk I'm probably looking too far into the word 'prey' and what it means to ME as an animal lover and survivor but it just feels #really bad to me. like wrinkling my nose and thinking 'out of all the words out there. that's the one you use?'#*sighs*#probably got quite fired up about this :P #ask #anon #yes I plan to write Helen as a big buff cheeto puff but again. she could never fight a goddess no matter how strong!! she's Mortal!#end of story!! I just want to write her that way as A.) it's fun. B.) Sparta upbringing.#(I got SUPER into ancient athletes stuff. (look up Pankration. it's so cool) and since I really love writing women. I just...like it :D #And no. everybody is strong in their own way even if they don't physically fight. I have plenty of women who are not fighters #but still have their own strengths and personalities and silliness #Leda actually doesn't like the 'exercising lifestyle of Sparta'. Ctimine loves running but that's it. Anticlea is the one who taught #Odysseus how to carve wood and is a 'trickster' but she's not really into athletic stuff. (she actually has a heart condition later on)#there's more too it but...tags are already long as hell #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #my headcanons #kind of #If Helen is prey then she is “prey” like those clever mother birds who pretend to be injured to get predators away from their nest.#*shrieks into a pillow* I'm fine now :D #essay

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mymp3 · 8 days

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I had a lot of the same issues with reload as I see you’re having, and I do think most of it is from the new team’s inexperience. They’re trying to recreate a game that made very purposeful decisions in its mechanics and cutscenes without understanding why those decisions were made, which really undermines the experience.

If the team had more experience under their belt, or had full creative decision on an entirely new game, I feel like they could make a really good game! Reload is not that though.

I completely agree anon. It's a shame too, because it's not an awful game, just a different one. I wish they hadn't tried to recreate FES as a test project on a shoestring budget when it was literally the benchmark for our modern Persona games. It changed so much, it's iconic, a cult classic.

I really wish they wouldn't have lied about not planning EpiAi beforehand so they could cover the fact that the game doesn't look all too good. I wish they hadn't charged $200 for an "Aigis Edition" and not include the dlc. I wish they hadn't sanitized and scrubbed the game about death and grieving of all things that were slightly upsetting. That's what ended up happening though, and as you said, they're trying to recreate a game that was very purposeful in its creation.

Reload was a cheap quick test that they knew would work because it has a wonderful story and dedicated fans. As long as they make it a fun popcorn game, they don't have to put in those purposeful additions or think about it much at all.

#compendiumnotebook #thank you for the ask anon!#These characters are new characters #This game is a new game #Its fine if this was your first expierence to P3 and its wonderful if you enjoyed it #I truly do believe Persona3 is a timeless test of art. I don't hold Reload in that same regard.#i wish they would have given them a new game to work on rather than remake an old game.#its already done though #just gotta look towards the future #man epiai was egregious #i really wanted to love it #and i did enjoy it more than base #the gameplay loop was super addicting #and i loved the chapel floor #but those characters and that story and how they retold it left a really bad taste in my mouth #loved erebus though!! he was fun. the model was p good in the dark #heartful cry was good and the colosseum fights were difficult #and metis was lovely #loved metis #but oh my god the downplay of yukari. the complete redaction and rewrite of scenes. unforgivable.#i really hated how i felt during the end of base and epiai #and i hate that i felt so sour.#its fine. I'm probably just gonna stay off twitter and away from reload stuff from now on.#gonna give it some time #maybe I'll go back and answer some questions in my inbox that i haven't yet #talk about and analyze fes some more #and when im feeling better maybe I'll go back to criticize and analyze why i didnt like reload as much #untill then

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themeeplord · 1 year

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I absolutely adore how you draw hands, thank you for this good food

Hehe, thank you! And you're welcome~

I'm guessing this is about that hand post I posted back in May? It's really doing rounds again now huh fpkfkdidk

#i made it rebloggable again and I'm currently paying the price pdjfjfkfj #I appreciate the love it's getting but anything can become overwhelming for me. don't be surprised if I turn off the reblogs on it again :p #again thank you anon! i didn't mean to make this negative in any way. thank you so much <3 #asks

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i-like-her-like-that · 3 months

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soooo if i was german i could say 'hallo hallo!'

so i would be saying hello hello :}}}

alsooo i thought amame was an ironic name for me bcs im aromantic :}}}

GIGGLES Yeah you could

That is quite ironic :3

#well not yo worry #I do love you [/p] unlesss youre uncomfy with me saying that ofc #and I'm aroflux hihi fellow arospec #halloran inbox #amame !!!!!!#beloved :} anon

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egbluh · 4 months

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wait holy shit!!! same hat!!! this is so pog. its so cool that u and ur host r so open about urselves cause I wouldntve realized its what I am otherwise!!! were like. 7, not counting our host, and technically were all fictives? if only because we became ocs after we ''appeared'' but its probably not the same. im sending on anon cause its from my hosts blog and theyre shy. it sucks that people r bein dicks tho - Z

i'm glad we helped in figuring yourselves out. :)

i have 8 other headmates who are fictives, except for 2 because they're our hosts ocs. and we have one headmate who's a fanon version of the source(bro) and he's actually really cool.

personally, me as a fictive, i'm "canon complaint" and our host describes me as "john egbert from homestuck, but worse" and so is sonic lmao. like, we look into our sources every other time. i am john egbert, but i'm also not john egbert. i was molded to be like him, and i also choose to be him. though not in all aspects, but i'm cool with that. and we won't let other people decide on who we are, and don't ever doubt yourself!(we keep saying that to our host.) being a tulpa is awesome and cool!!!!!!

yeah, the "anti-endo" people really think they know what they're talking about. they're just hurting themselves in the process. they want to be in a community, yet they're alienating themselves. it's so sad to watch. no use in talking to them though. only positivity and joyous whimsy in my blog!!!

#asks stuff #pro tulpa #fictive #pro endogenic #tulpa #tulpamancy #endogenic #i'm the system's designated yapper. i love talking about our experiences. but dirk and our host hold me back sometimes #when i go too far lol. that's fine. gotta have impulse control. (me. i'm the impulse. :p)#and we block people under the anti tag and it feels so good.#just because we're pro endo DOESN'T mean we automatically dislike people with did. you don't need to hurt any longer.#you're a tulpa fictive? you're a fictive originating from trauma? you're all valid! and we have to stick together.#our real enemy is the people who don't even care and want us all gone just because we're different from them.#z anon

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lostmykeysie · 1 year

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AHHHHH KEYSIE!! I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT. Got me smiling and kicking my feet over a fan fic again hehe😘

OMG HI BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO SO GLAD!!!!!!!

and you know what i can heavy relate because writing this has me GIGGLING i feel so silly rn!!! it's actually crazy to think that a month or so ago i was in a writing slump and now look at us!! here, together, smiling and giggling and kicking our feet!!!!

also don't gasp BUT i just posted chapter four of reason to paint (wolfstar buy a bachelor AU for my folks who are like wtf are they on about) and it has my first explicit wolfstar smut scene / my first detailed, start-to-end smut, and when i tell you i was writing this and questioning my whole life it's sooo cheeky i'm so embarrassed it's EMBARRASSING

experienced smut writers please tell me, your friendly local virgin, how you do this???? i need to learn because i am blushing i am scared i am hiding away!!!!!!! i'm afraid of the smut!!! i'm afraid of its power !!!!!!!!!

love u kisses

#someone asked me a q #lovely wonderful anon #i am writing #wolfstar #reason to paint #buy a bachelor au #like do i just need to stop feeling shame #is that what i have to do #or is everyone else like this are you all just fighting your shame and posting the fic anyway #im EMBARRASSED guys #i'm writing about a p*nis!!! more than one even!!!!!

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pe0ple3ater · 7 months

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uh… more etoiles!

i’ve been mulling on this for a while, but remember in purgatory, when the teams drew for members? imagine etoiles wrapped in chains, the french beast taken down. so many islanders would find it utterly erotic…

and then imagine pac, surveying the options, pausing in front of etoiles. there’s a chain around his neck that pac would tug on, smiling sloooowly… the power rush and ideas he would get…

- ✒️

Okay I need to explain before you read this, I got carried away with the idea of some of my fav ships in this scenario. So it turned into this idea from Pac, Roier, and Phil's povs...hope you enjoy anyway

Roier: Etoiles is the only one of them chained, because he’s their leader and dangerous. Roier is the first at his side, tugging uselessly at the chains. He watches how they tighten around Etoiles when he pulls, and the sight of the imprints they leave makes heat flare in his stomach. He stands by his side and snarls at anyone who gets too close like a wild animal, though he can’t help but eye the way Etoiles legs are forced to be spread just a little, and he can’t deny how good a collar looks around his throat. He stands closer and sees the hunger in some of the Islanders eyes. He understands them, Etoiles looks fucking phenomenal tied down in chains. The binds cross his chest and highlight his pecs. The leaders of the red and blue teams are given some time to look over green team before they're forced to make their picks.

Pac: he likes having Etoiles tied down when they sleep together so this is just flooding his mind with similar images. The chains look really nice on him, and his muscles flex and strain with every tug. The wild anger in his eyes is sexy, Pac wishes Etoiles was a cruel man sometimes, so that he’d really rip Pac apart. When they get to go closer to them all, Pac grabs at the chain around his neck and the way Etoiles’ barely bites back a growl has Pac getting a little hot under the collar. He places his hand on Etoiles thigh, and notes the way Roier bristles at his side, and slides it up just a bit. He tugs again on the chain connected to his neck and Etoiles breath hitches, eyes losing some of that anger "I hope you end up on my team" he'd mumble, and then walk away to go check on Fit.

Phil: he’s obsessed with the sight. Etoiles is fighting against the chain and snarling like an animal and Phil feels bad for him but also it’s incredibly erotic to see how much it takes to keep him down, not to mention the sounds he’s making are animalistic and do something to Phil’s head. When he walks over to see him closer, Etoiles whines at him and tells Phil he’s sorry, he didn’t want to fail. Phil tells him that Etoiles will be able to make it up to him, not to worry. He tugs lightly on the chains and coos softly at the way Etoiles arches to try and get Phil to touch him. Phil runs his hand up Etoiles calf and feels the twitch of his muscle under his hand. Etoiles strains against the chains and Phil feels heat curl in his stomach. He'll have to get Etoiles on his team and held down in chains, soon. It'd be a good way to remind Etoiles who owns him after he killed him the first day, Phil thinks Etoiles could use the reminder.

#qsmpnsfw #✒️ anon #p@c #eto!les #ro!er #ph!lza #I'm always happy to write anything related to purgatory because I loved it #eto!les in chains..save me #thank you anon I love you did you know that

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