#Anuli

[glacierbunni]

What these hoes looking at 😹

First time doin scenes and will not b doing it again!

[anulithots]

WAIT

This one’s better in my very personal opinion

*insert screaming into pillows + happy stims*

Fae has the ANTENAE AND FAER LITTLE EARS AND SMILE AKLJFKLASDJFKLASDJFLKASJDFLKASDJF

*downloads and saves to 'special things' folder* JDSKLFJSDKLFJDSKLFDSK I SHALL CHERISH THIS FOREVER.

.... it would be kind of funny if I 'showed Anuli'

[forthesanityofstorytellers]

Writeblr Battle Royale, Lyra - Round 1

Oh Anuli 😭

Anyway.

Joined the @writeblrbattleroyale event and entered Lyra as one of my OCs to fight to the death!! And, well...I mean Lyra would do it except she's got an impulse to help/defend the ones that she can. So when she spotted @anulithots 's Anuli in the arena she just...really...couldn't...hurt fae. She wants to pick fae up and cuddle her until things are okay. But she's been in something similar enough to this that she knows how this goes and doesn't want fae to have to go through this again and again and again...so she makes a choice.

Content warnings for self-deprecating/ can be read as mild su*cidal ideation

Wordcount: 1,610

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Static. 

The story restarted with static. 

As it did. Every time. Every cycle. Leading to nothing but this ending and this ending alone. Some false lead that I may have won. That I might have written a happy ending. Or an unhappy one in this case… only to be blinded to a plot twist of my own making. 

How utterly ironic. The villain messed with faer own motives. Antagonistic, even to faerself. All I needed was an evil laugh. My realization arc would be complete. 

…As soon as my weight stopped tipping from side to side and I figured out if those spark-rimmed dark spots were real or not, and the static stopped consuming me whole. 

Plot holes and darling murders. 

I must have fallen. The tether finally snapped. Into the static I went. Into a happy ending, a release, a freedom I didn’t deserve…. How could it be a sequel? No one likes sequels. It was already the end after all. The villain got faer unhappy ending. It should’ve stayed that way. 

Sequels were narratively impossible. The story was over, all loose threads, resolved, one can’t write a continuation to something forgotten and finished. The only way to do it was a narrative spiral and even that… It hurts. My leaves smarted as the black spots danced. 

The captured star broke from its container, shattering the shards in an explosion of light. The shards stuck in odd angles, flesh punctured, beads of blood tricking, pooling in my stomach. It roared, setting my skin on fire. The static swirled in my head, throbbing, throbbing… 

When did my heartbeat get so loud? Was I breathing? Yes, weird and hollow, but there. Why was it so loud? 

Another one of those spooky antagonist paradoxes. 

…. Oh that was ridiculous. 

….

….

My vision blurred in and out. Didn’t I get rid of- I swayed, back and forth. Thoughts fizzled and popped. Not again. I rubbed my head in circular motions. Feelings exist. Feelings exist. Do not float into oblivion. Why did my skin burn? Was it that hot? Was there even sun? It hurts. Shouldn’t it stop hurting after…. a while? 

Oh no. No no no nonono.

Lyra shook off her disorientation as the white began to fade from around her into the space beyond, revealing an arena. The walls rose up around them in stone, the dirt scuffling at her feet as her ears began to swivel and she took in the sights and sounds around her. She flinched when a box up high began speaking, flattening her ears to her head as she took a moment to adjust to the noise and the crackle of static.

A gamemaster? Contenders?! Opponents!?

“No!!” she yelled, wings snapping out to either side. “Not again!!”

She hadn’t even been playing with the scroll this time. She’d given up the search for him, had started trying to fight the darkness back home without his aid. She didn’t have time for this, she didn’t want to be stuck in another death-match tournament with an onlooker that watched bloodshed for amusement.

She glanced around. Her bow. Where was her bow!?!

She caught sight of the one that was supposed to be her opponent, Lyra spreading out her wings and readying herself to fly. To use magic if she needed, damn the consequences. She needed to get back home as fast as possible.

But the one across from her…they seemed…like they shouldn’t be here. They seemed lost, confused.

Lyra lowered her wings. Glanced around at the arena. Looked back at the one opposite her.

“...Are you okay?” She called out. She took the risk of approaching. They didn’t answer at first. So she tried again. “You look so frightened,” she said softly. “Do you…have wings?” She flexed her own a little, enough to make them move. “Can you fly? Maybe we can fly out of here together?”

The words- for they were words after all… maybe… probably - floated over my head and to some far off place.

The other fairy (?) flexed their wings and the static ricocheted.

Oh 

Oh no no no, absolutely not. Forget narrative symmetry and thoughts stop burning up and form coherent words….

Battle of the fates. 

Kill the fallen fairy. 

And the other one, some other high protector, took that archetype in every shape, way, and form. 

They should kill the fallen fairy, before they realize its true nature. An irredeemable mushed up mess of antagonistic traits that would inevitably mess this up. It was only a matter of some sick comedic timing. Sequels were ridiculous like that. I growled. It made my roots curl into themselves, static sparking. And like a sequel, the story was set on reusing the same plot structure, beginning, progressing, and ending the same way.

Kamari should’ve realized sooner. 

They should’ve realized sooner. 

Anuli the antagonist couldn’t fly. Anuli the antagonist couldn’t say things right or find faer tree or function whatsoever or get faer thoughts off faer ridiculous stories for two seconds for simple, simple things that Anuli the antagonist just couldn’t do. No matter how hard fae tried. Fae wasn’t trying to be an antagonist… at least, I hoped that was the case. But whenever I tried to fix things, it never worked. I was just… the antagonist. 

They would waste valuable time trying to further the narrative of the opposition. It would cost them. It would cost them their happy ending. 

I really needed to perfect that evil laugh. 

The ground swayed. The static roared.  I couldn’t even be an antagonist. It was so hot. So loud. 

A small, selfish thought imagined the other - the protagonist, the ‘opponent’ - giving me a hug and singing and a lullabye, making the Place of Tethers retreat. I hissed at it. Never again. I would not repeat the same story twice. 

I gripped my antenna and yanked until my muzzle stung. 

“Oh, you poor thing,” Lyra muttered, backing away. Put her hands up. “I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.” She kept her voice soft. She glanced around. It sounded like this was a contest. Like there was another death match just beyond this one, and another and another and another. She glanced back at her ‘opponent’ and let out a sigh. “You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve…to have anyone hurt you, Kelouoyba. I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve gone through.”

She stood and backed away. “I’m going to make sure you don’t have to put up with this.” She glanced up at the white expanse above them. Raised her voice so she could be heard by the one no doubt watching. “And once I’m done here I’m coming for you, game master!!”

She would not go through this again. Would not watch as ones like this one were forced into fighting for their lives. Not ones that had clearly been through a lot. That had been through enough. That deserved peace.

Her wings stretched to either side and she took off into the air, keeping herself level with the top of the wall, just under where the wall turned into what looked like some sort of stands or seating of some kind. She turned her attention to the other one, began humming as she concentrated. Summoned her core magic from deep within. Reached out with hands and magic to connect with the earth directly under her opponent. Felt it as her magic connected to this strange ground, pushing with all her might to create a hole directly under them.

Mistake. 

Mistake. 

Mistake. 

I deserve it. I ruined the same story multiple times. I’m a villain. An antagonist. 

It would be so much worse. I could either let the tether tighten, or fall to everything different. Both were wrong - false leads to the same ending.

And so the story continues. The villain ruins the stories of the ones who gave the antagonist faer own. 

“Akonh Kelouoyba!!” Use your wings, little one. She shouted it as angrily as she could, made it sound like a threat to help sell the idea that she was attacking using her magic, knowing that they likely couldn’t understand her even as her voice rattled in her throat, the cost of her magic.

The Protector shouted. Shouted. Angry. Or wanted something. Something that I couldn’t give. I winced. I did it again. Couldn’t get out of my own thoughts for two minutes to prevent this. Perhaps I was meant to play this role for eternity. Over and over and over and - 

The Protector… was angry, during a battle of the fates. 

Fae realized. 

The story’s over. 

Villain defeated.  

The static roared and the world collapsed to darkness. 

Once they fell she slammed the top of the earth shut with a loud hammering sound and landed on the very spot. She knew she had left an opening big enough and deep enough for them to be safe, so long as they were able to flutter down and reach the bottom. She placed her hand on the spot they had just been and whispered, “Rmhte, Kelouoyba.” Be safe, little one.

-------------------------------------

Yeah. She's gonna try and fight her way up to the game master so she can kill him. She doesn't like being forced in these types of games and even more so now after Anuli. It'll be interesting to see how far she gets.

Also to see if she meets a certain OC that'll put her on edge and probably cause her to have a meltdown.

This was fun! ❤ I'm glad we got to write together and I can't wait for round 2!!

[talesfromtheunknowable]

I think you're the kindest sweetest most imaginative soul I know! I love your little universe and the fact that you've been with it for so long is so wholesome!! I love the different blogs you have and I would love to understand Anuli more! Fae are absolutely adorable and I relate to faer philosophy so like please I will absolutely fan around your finished WIP :D

ALSO the fae pronouns are so creative and it adds on to the magical finding yourself undertones of The Land of the Fallen Fairies! I love them a lot

- Anonymous ;D

THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME THANK YOU SO MUCH <3

(I don't know how to communicate how I stop and smile at each and every ask. How it makes my nights of worrying and frantic rewrites, hoping to the stars that this turns out nice. How it casts my internal world, the majority of myself that honestly is my sanctuary in such a wonderous way that I loose any words to express that feeling.

But I can say thank you.

So thank you. It's absolutely wonderous,)

And as for Anuli:

Anuli character sheet <- Basic info and little fun facts

'How did Anuli come to be?' <-- Original character sheets and general LotFF iterations

Lot's of info on Human AU's, Anuli and Kamari, and a philosophical infodump <--- has some more 'philosophical' Anuli info

General tag

ANNNDDD: @imjusthereforeternity

Anuli in general was supposed to be a character that is (a) easy for me to write - so not a ton of actions and as many thought processes as I can get - and (b) represents that need to chase happiness, to fix yourself so you deserve that happy ending.

And part of that is because of stories themselves.

Little me trying to navigate a world they didn't understand found that stories were... not a perfect framework, but by stars did they help. How to be funny. How people think. And most importantly, WHY. Why any of it works the way it does.

And yet, both stories, and the entire universe, told me that 'good things happen to good people'. That those who have a certain attitude, that those who believe certain things or have a certain lifestyle or go through a certain arc will have that whimsical happy ending I wanted so bad, it hurt.

Anuli was my companion, in every time I cycled over to the beginning, throughout all of it. It got to the point where I would accidently call myself 'Anuli' in my head because at times, when I needed a coping mechanism, life was simply story fodder.

... That was a slightly unrelated rant.

Anywho! Anuli's philosophy and internal dynamics.

Anuli does not remember faer tree, or being tethered. Just that fae has been tethered, for as long as fae could remember.

(This is definitely not because I didn't want to write these parts because it was boring in previous iterations... totally not. /j)

But at least fae had stories. Stories, and Kamari. The Place of Tethers may be a villain out to get faer. It may have bright captured stars that scream throughout the night in static, but Anuli has stories. Fae has Kamari. Anuli would have a happy ending someday, because of Kamari. Kamari promised. Fae promised.

And Anuli had glimpses of the happy ending already. Fae knew what it would be like, for fae had already felt that sort of elation. All fae needed was for faer tether to be broken, for the Place of Tethers to be vanquished forevermore.

And Kamari promised. Anuli had Kamari, so it would be okay. The Place of Tethers was bearable because Kamari was there.

...

So anywho, Kamari disappeared for a day.

(I'm probably going to fix bits and pieces of this draft, since it's the first thing I've written for this iteration, and it was difficult for perfectionistic me. Kamari probably told Anuli that fae may be gone for longer and Anuli would get distracted in preparing a story to tell Kamari that fae forgot that Kamari wouldn't be there.)

And Anuli ended up breaking faer tether.

Great!

Fae defeated the antagonist. The Place of Tethers was gone. They had a happy ending now! Kamari would be ecstatic.

Kamari was not, ecstatic.

All this is to say that Anuli had a happy ending before, and fae didn't truly enjoy it because fae thought it might get better.

Then fae ruined it.

And fae's been chasing that happy ending, what fae had before, what fae could've had if fae had just waited, if fae wasn't a fallen fairy, ever since.

This is that sort of 'I CAN FIX ME' that Anuli runs by.

Villains don't get happy endings unless they have redemption arcs. If Anuli had a redemption arc, if fae could only get rid of all the bad parts of faerself....

ALSO ALSO!

I want to try to make the bulk of the Land of the Fallen Fairies fairly episodic, so I can explore a different aspect of this concept each 'episode' and leave myself open to writing as I please.

So I want to try out different episodes. Specifically, 'metal adventure ones', like those where you split yourself into all the different aspects of your personality?

That, but Anuli tries to 'rid' of all the 'evil ones'

And the 'fix your past' episodes? Not time travel, but 'change your memories so they don't bother you anymore.'

The opposing aspect of Anuli is the 'I waste love' part.

And I always have the hardest time describing this in a way that feels how it is in my head. It's not 'hurting others'... more so 'not being able to repay them', they have sacrificed their lives, their time, all their love, for your betterment, for your happy ending, and all you give them is regrets.

And they will feel betrayed by that.

They should hate you for that.

But no, they still want you to get better, they still love you.

And that hurts more than anything else.

So Anuli's character becomes this contradiction of 'wants to change self for a happy ending' and 'me being around others... forget about happy... would ruin everything.'

WHICH BRINGS ANULI TO STORY CYCLES.

It gets worse and better then worse again. An aha moment that unlocks a so-close-to-the-happy-ending one day, then a dark night of the soul the next.

Because stories are by no means linear. There is regression at times... as painful as that can be to admit, and that 'trying to tame your garden' is absolutely exhausting. At that point, is happiness - this abstract unknowable feeling - worth it anymore? Especially when it feels so strained, so empty, on the rare occasions fae does feel it.

All I can offer to this is that... it's a garden, it's a story. It will cycle, all of nature does that. Stories end right after the happy ending, and you have to find another story. And that... well their cycles are not as painful as life itself, because by no means are you a character, you're just reading.

Life could be like that too.

---

As of the current arc of @imjusthereforeternity, Anuli thinks that its faer nature for faer stories - and faer life - to spiral into darker, more morbid storylines. THANKFULLY.

OUTLINES.

(I went on the planning obsession and sold my soul to the underworld trying to follow it to a T, so this will be fun.)

And Anuli keeps making disclaimers, these are new beings, they can be saved. If they are warned, they can be saved from trying to want anything from Anuli, from rooting for the antagonist.

Hopefully.

The archives excite Anuli quite a bit, fae's fixing faerself, this will work! Fae will never have to be an antagonist because Kamari's having faer happy ending and Anuli is completely rewriting faerself to follow these outlines.

I mean, sure, fae's having trouble getting faerself to do some of the things, and is getting distracted by other ventures, but the outlines will stop anything from getting too plot-ruining.

It has to.

---

Thank you again for the ask! I'm so so glad you like the Land of the Fallen Faires.

[thissliceofnonsense]

My fatal flaw was actually fatal after all. Somewhere - in the shadows of other thoughts- I always knew. This was my ending, no matter how hard I tried to be present or helpful or creative or happy, this would be how I ended up. A minor antagonist, more so an annoyance than anything else. Someone to rid of so the actual plot could go on.

The Land of the fallen fairies

[kundst]

Anuli Kroon (Dutch)

2021AC202103 (2021)

Oil on canvas (160x120cm)

[imslowlydisintegrating]

now playing on our screens: jujutsu kaisen

Ahem

JUJUTSU KAISEN GOOOOOD LUCKKKKK /pos /aff

SENDING YOU A TISSUE BOX!!

HELP WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THIS IM SCARED 😭😭

[danannie521]

Anulis

🌼🌸

[flame2ashes]

Oh my god it's her.....the ghost of Baia Bamare.....

[imjusthereforeternity]

Technically, I can tell whatever morbid story I want. No one will hear this. Time for spiders to get torn limb from limb, skin flaking off from decay, evil spiders returning for fresh blood, and they all fall to an indifferent earth.

[theknottedgarden]

Tronie & Stad VI, 180x150 cm, 2014-2017  ANULI CROON

// coll. EUC - Erasmus University Rotterdam, Rotterdam

[glacierbunni]

Se7en Se7en Se7en

[anulithots]

Proud of the expressions on this one. YEE. I'm getting better with them.

Mouths are hard

video these were used in

[thewriteblrlibrary]

A Step-by-Step Marketing Guide so we can spite traditional publishers (and make people cry).

~ This is a guide specific for fiction/writeblr. All of this is for free and there is little social media posting/ads involved (unless you want to venture into that). ~

Within the writeblr spheres, there's this underlying hope that our stories will find their audience. Perhaps we'll have a fandom full of fanart and video essays, or maybe we'll be an instant classic and sit on collectors' beloved bookshelves. Our stories could sit within the deepest corners of someone's heart and maybe they never tell a soul about what's so special to them. Maybe our stories become those 'underrated masterpieces'.

Or we just want to see people ugly cry over our writing.

Whatever your hope may be, marketing is an important path to venture on (especially because traditional publishers are rejecting diverse books in favor of ones that are already famous + the whole sub-par machine thing they seem obsessed with.)

And thus, my childhood marketing obsession will hopefully be of use to you. This is all for free (unless you want to spend money) and you don't need to figure out social media platforms (unless you want to, and this guide works if you decide to take that route too.)

Step One: Characters

Marketing spheres will define these fictious people as 'avatars' or 'the target audience'. You could also call them characters. Because that's what they are: fictional people.

For this step, you shall create characters that would love your story.

And here's some great news: You've already done this.

Perhaps you wrote your story to comfort a prior version of yourself. Perhaps each character in your story holds an aspect of your personality. Perhaps you were ridiculously self-indulgent and made the story you would've loved to read. These are all possible characters you can reuse for marketing.

Write down 2-4 quick archetypes for these characters. You'll chose an aspect of your story (characters, themes, or the younger-self that you wrote it for) and write a thumbnail sketch. (Main issue, fears, wants, personality traits if they relate to the main issue.)

I'll do it for my story (the Land of the Fallen Fairies) down below:

Anuli-like (my MC): Overthinking and aloof. Wants a happy ending but thinks their current personality/character isn't good enough for one. The present stales in comparison to the past/the childhood they lost. The 'gifted theater kids'. Kamari-like (side character): Postpones happiness in favor of creating a perfect schedule/getting accomplishments. Heavy masking. Creative but doesn't create anymore. Promises themself they'll enjoy themselves later, when they've earned it. Workaholics. My younger self: Wanting a fantasy escapism to embody the traits they wish they had in real life. Dissatisfied and worried about reality. Perfectionists. Self-indulgent: People who love plants and forests and fantasy worlds far away from reality/humanity.

Great! Now it's time to find these characters.

Step Two: Setting.

(Let's assume you're using the internet for your marketing. But a similar method works for real life too.)

Where do the characters live?

In order to figure that out, we need to discover the characters' interests, what they watch to solve their problems, and who they find #relatable.

(You can do this for each character or for all the characters at once.)

For example:

Anuli-like -

interests: Stories. Analysis videos. Fantasy escapism. Things that remind them of their childhood. (so nature, warmth, comfort, play, imagination and the times they would actually enjoy learning.)

Places to look: Nature quotes, ambience videos, children's shows and fairytales (comfort shows). Fandom culture - fanfic video essays, fan art.

Solving problems (the problem being wanting a 'happy ending' but feeling that their personality/lifestyle/characteristics aren't right for one): Mindfulness things. Self-healing. Quotes and meditations and candles galore. Slow living. Nature vlogs. Self care. All that 'live in the moment' culture.

Places to look: Slow living. Nature vlogs. The 'softer self-help' (spirituality stuff. Magic/ overnight answers). Witchcraft. 'aesthetic nature' places. Guided meditations.

#relatable: Burnt out gifted kids. People who think so much that their life passes them by. Storytellers and creative who create to make sense of the world. People who like dark, gory things in spite of who they want to be. People who don't like reality.

Places to look: Those 'learn better and remember everything' places. (The 'burnt-out gifted kid' recovery places.) Stop overthinking spots. Those quotes on Pinterest from poetic people who think too much /aff. Storyteller places. Dark academia. Classical music. One off quotes/ poetry.

Okie dokie. Once you have this, find channels, social media accounts, blogs, songs, books, etc. that fit with the categories you wrote down. (They should appeal to the characters) You can search up some of the terms you listed into searches and see who pops up. Bonus points if you find people that overlap with multiple sections.

I know I didn't include booktube or booktok in here. You can if you want too. But those can be a bit... 'consume these 500 books'. You also want to find other places where people who would like you story live, even if they don't follow booktube or booktok.

Congrats! Now you know where your characters live!

Step Three: the scary part

Take everyone you found on your search for the settings and write them down a list. Make sure you get an email/contact info. (they usually list them somewhere under 'for business inquires') Also feel free to watch their content and get to know what attributes these settings have.

And now... we talk to them. about our stories. You can do it. I believe in you.

This called 'pitching your product' in marketing spheres. But you can be informal about it.

I know it can be difficult to talk about your work, so here's a tone to have:

'I made this thing I like and I think you'll like it too'.

What you'll do is send an email (or dm) that goes like this (inspired by Creative Hive on youtube):

Hi [name],

[Genuine compliment]

[Quick sentence or two about your story. Include the themes and who it appeals to. If you have a logline/sentence summary, include that. But I find that the underlying themes and 'who's it's for' is more engaging.

For my story, I might say something like.

I've written a story you might enjoy, since you like [interest]. It's called the Land of the Fallen Fairies. It's a nature-themed commentary on the pursuit of happiness and fixing yourself to deserve that happiness, told by an overthinking, unreliable, houseplant narrator. It was supposed to comfort me when I got frustrated with myself and my happiness chasing, and I hope it can comfort others too.

(That's probably a bit long and I can trim it down a bit.)

You can phrase it like a gift if you want too.]

[Call to action.

'If you like it, I'd appreciate a mention on your [platform].

I know this part may be difficult to mention (imposter syndrome is not fun.) But I promise that if they do like it, they'll be happy to mention it.]

If they don't respond within... four-ish days? (A week at most). then you can include a follow up. For this you can include a template with info about your story. This way it's easy for them to talk about your story.

The template:

title

genre

blurb

Author

where to find the book

Bonus points if you have an additional, physical thing to send them.

Congrats! Now do this pitching process a few times until you've covered most of your bases. (Pitch to as many people as you can. It will get more comfortable as you do it. Play your favorite song and don't let yourself think too hard about it.)

----------

The benefits of this process are that you find people that are already interested in the themes and vibes of your story (in comparison to to ads, which get shoved in everyone's faces.). Someone your audience already trusts will talk about it, which means you don't need to do all this trial and error to find your audience and make content for them.

It's basically a bunch of people talking about something they like!

AND you diversify your audience across niches, but with an underlying theme/interests. Booktok/booktube must appeal to everyone, so it's a hit or miss for recommendations. (Unless there is someone that specifically does one genre/type of story.)

From here you can do fun little things to build up hype and make the book launch feel like this fun event. (I love it when that happens so here's my thoughts about trying to create an event with your story... although that may require another post entirely.)

preorder goals

charity goals

Arg's and puzzles

fund with side plushies and trinkets

Book blog tour

book boxes

as many memes as you can make

rewards (like bookmarks or posters or smth) that people can get for supporting

Talk about the process of creating your story. I know this one channel called 'Dead Sound' that creates 'making of' videos for his short films and they are some of the best videos on youtube.

Okay dear storyteller! Now go forth and share your story with the world!

Additional resources:

Creative Hive <-- a youtube channel that goes through the pitching process.

This video is also very good <-- Haven't watched the rest of the channel but I assume it's also good.

One of the best marketing channels on the internet (the videos are actually entertianing to watch.

Seth Goldin <-- I read his book and took the parts I liked and modified for storytelling marketing.

Dead Sound <-- propaganda to watch the short film series he has (he did the whole 2-d 3-d style wayyyy before spiderverse did... and he's one person making these. One person. It's amazing.

Glitch <--- If someone can figure out how The Amazing Digital Circus was marketed then I will pay you money. It seems to be a lot of memes and funny things.

[talesfromtheunknowable]

hey! question: how did Anuli come to be?

HIi! Thank you so much for the question.

ANnnnddd... whoooo boi, this is a long and convoluted history of the 'many drafts of the land of the fallen fairies'.

Grab some popcorn, there will be plot twists.

First came up with the 'Land of the Fallen Fairies' idea when I was around... ten-ish. I saw this book called 'the land of forgotten girls,' (just the cover, never read it) and I had watched the movie 'Fern Gully' in school, and had also learned of trees being able to communicate with each other from magic school bus. And thus, ten-year-old me decided to write a story about it, in the way you might imagine a ten-year-old writing a story.

Very overdramatic. No plot.

Basically it was about 'the last tree on the planet' and its fairy. They both lived next to a factory and no one on the plantet knew of thier existence. (Wow, spooky.)

The fairy (faer name was 'Oak'... which was very creative of me.) got stolen by some humans, who were children, but one of them worked for a scientist for some reason? They kept Oak in a jar where fae met the other fairy named Meadow (who was 'Oak's... mother? Or smth.). Oak eventually broke out and went to this 'hidden land' in the Bermuda triangle for reasons. (wow, spooky)

And I stopped at around there because I wasn't feeling nice while writing it anymore.

There are definitely iterations that I don't remember anymore, this is a seven-ish-year long project at this point after all, but here are the major ones.

The Floa and Naegi backstory.

I made these two dolls (that I don't have anymore). Floa was a redwood and Naegi was an evergreen. It was pretty much an 'enemies to best friends/platonic lovers / opposite attracts' sort of thing taking place in that Bermuda triangle island. They both watched the sunset together so yea.

Bloom

Insert the lychee tree that lives in a cave and made a bunch of doohickeys to survive and killed off faer younger 'siblings' accidently with... fire magic? At one point Bloom was a lychee tree and the whole 'fire magic' thing came from Mediterranean cypress's being immune to fire. I also made a doll for this one that started off as this tall and lanky and kind of scary crow-looking thing with long arms and burnt hands. Then it changed to a small deer thing, (Mediterranean cypresses are immune to deer too.) and it's legs kept breaking off.

The black fairy and Squioo

Another scrapped duo! The black fairy is based off the pando tree (and the only one so far that uses he/him pronouns) and the Pando tree is one large tree that looks like a lot of little ones in a huge forest. (It's a real thing! You can look it up.) And I think I had this whole thing where Squioo is another mediterranean cypress and fae died or something? I think at this point the land of the fallen fairies was more of a 'protective group' and fallen fairies were fairies that lost their tree, so they were almost 'apathetic zombies that could be dangerous if provoked'.

the houseplant

This is the iteration where it starts getting to where tLotFF starts looking how it does now. The scale isn't 'across the world' anymore and there is more of a focus on themes and always a protective guardian.

Although for this one the mc was called 'Amaris' and they started off in a houseplant store where everyone else shared memories. There wasn't really anything wrong with this one, I just didn't enjoy writing it.

Guardian territory

This is the previous version, and is also where you get Anuli. I just wanted something that would be easy for me to write, so I had Anuli use story metaphors for everything and be very contemplative, to the point of not knowing what is going on around faer. Fae isn't... 100% Anuli yet, but fae has the bones. In this version, it starts off with Kamari, Anuli and the sibling Maidoe (who got scrapped because fae had no purpose but may come up again later) leaving the 'bad place' to go to the guardian territory. I rewrote that version so many times and got super stressed out every time I wrote it because it had to be PERFECT.

The 'snippet version'

I changed my writing process to be what works for me and started from scratch, and so, after all that, we get to your question.

I wanted to write something that felt nice, that felt like my truth, especially since my life started feeling... monochromatic, and if I had to live for one thing and one thing only, that that thing better make me feel better.

(I just needed an outlet otherwise I would explode.)

And I always loved those 'metaphorical journeys with a very obvious message but it is told in a whimsical way' sort of stories, and I also wanted to tell my younger self to stop driving themself crazy looking for answers on how to make themselves 'better' in order to regain their lost childhood wonder, because 'better' was burning them out.

Also this video -

I wanted so hard to find that thing called 'happiness', to find that happy ending that I didn't let my story play out.

Anywho, I mention this because the writing process I follow is very 'theme based' and I wanted for my story to explore a theme more than anything else. (Think 'Little Prince' vibes mixed with a slice-of-life-children's show so I could be as dark as I wanted to).

Some of my earliest (for this version) planning pages! (I modified the 'Story Genuis' method to work better with my iterative, and impulsive self. Nowadays I write a 'scene' by exploring a sub-concept of my overall point, and writing out all the thoughts surrounding it, in five different pages at once.)

I needed Anuli to represent all of the aspects of myself that were 'too slow for society' and molded them around a bit to fit who Anuli wanted to be (fae wasn't as overdramatic and silly and metaphorical before.)

And as if this post wasn't long enough already, here are some extra things about where Anuli's traits come from <3

Anuli likes morbid stories because my parents didn't like how 'dark' my stories were, and where thinking of something happier and more 'inspirational for kids, new york times best seller', whereas I just wanted to explore this weird thing called existence. I didn't even think that version was so dark.

So I let Anuli tell the darkest possible things that fae can.

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The Land of the Fallen Fairies slowly changed moreso to a more 'pixie-based-concept' on who is and isn't 'good enough to be part of society' rather than a 'zombie fairy'. I don't fully know what the criteria is for a fairy to be a fallen fairy, for now it's just 'can't keep up with regular society'.

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Part of the reason Anuli's POV 'style' is the way it is, is because I wanted something that would be easier for me to write. There's very little scene description or character actions, 90% of it is thoughts and metaphors, and it's nice that the 'shortcut' that I put for myself so I could actually write something also works for the character I am writing.

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For both Anuli and Kamari, both their names come from the origin of the tree. Anuli, the fiddle leaf fig, originates from Africa, and faer name means 'joy'

Kamari, who comes from... northern Africa and surrounding areas if I remember correctly, means 'moon'.

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The land of the fallen fairies takes place in my backyard. So I don't really want to move (again... apparently the moving unspoken feelings I didn't know I had got expressed though the LotFF) because all the characters are outside. We got a magnolia, and I have a fiddle leaf inside my house for Anuli.

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I knew I didn't want to have Anuli describe any feeling, not even tired-ness with a word. Fae has an internal world filled with sensations and emotions fae does not understand and uses faer stories to create faer own 'shorthand' for how to describe them. I really really like this aspect of faer, because it makes communication that much harder for faer, but that much easier (hopefully, I've been told that no one understands what I write.) to understand what fae is thinking. Fae has built up quite the shorthand over the course of the backstory, none of faer thoughts are understandable without context.

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Anuli ended up liking sunflowers completely on accident. I needed to have something for Kamari to notice and prompt Anuli to tell stories about, and there was a small sunflower patch near the magnolia.

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Character design is a whole other thing. Before I made the doll, I drew a bunch of sketches based off all the character design videos I could find.

(The ones with the horns were designs for the 'Amaris' previous iteration.)

Oh wait! I remember this iteration. Anuli read the memories of dead pollywiggins for some reason before everyone else told faer that was bad and creepy.

These are some of my favorite Anuli drawings. I made a sticker out of the 'Responsibility' one.

Anuli had a hoodie for some reason, I don't think most fairies wear clothes other than for accessorizing or practical purposes. I may have Anuli wear a cloak when fae comes out of the archives because the weather is changing to fall now and @imjusthereforeternity happens in real time, and Anuil is not meant for cold weather.

getting closer.

Last sketch is from @mylee-sketches for Maidoe. This was around - I think - the time I started making Anuli the doll, which was impulsive as I did not have some of the materials I wanted (it worked out in the end) and I did not plan out sizes.

Anuli the doll took three long months and fae is MASSIVE. (I ran out of the color for faer face and had to improvise with other colors to make faer body match). Fae is around the size of a newborn/1year old CHILD. I can hold faer while I'm writing stuff and fae can stand in my lap and be up to my chin in height. The biggest thing I will ever make and I do not think I'll be doing something of that caliber again for AWHILE at least.

I got a desk recently and fae stands on that now.

Fae also sits nicely on a bookshelf.

... I think that's it. As far as progression from idea to now over the past seven-ish years, this is about everything.

Thank you so much for the ask! And for reading this LONG post!

[thissliceofnonsense]

"Why don't you have the common sense to do simple, simple things?"

TW: Self-deprecation. Wanting to fix yourself.

Naegi flicked faer ears. "Your guardian said that?"

"It's true. I don't have common sense. Every single time I've tried to do something important or nice or - I always ruin everything."

"Are you sure?"

"YES. I can understand all these 'difficult' things, but the basic knowledge one needs to survive...."

Naegi looked at faer paws. "Maybe you have *uncommon sense*"

"But who does that help? You don't - I'm not saying this right... hold on." I tried forcing my thoughts to make coherent sentences, but my head remained static.

"We were going to have our happy ending. Everything was going to be okay, and I - I still can't figure out how I messed up, but I just- I just know that I became my guardian's antagonist."

"But that's the past. It doesn't matter anymor-"

"I'm a fallen fairy. Naegi. I'll keep being in this - this 'darkest hour' and I'll keep dooming everyone else until you can FIX ME."

"You want to be fixed? To loose your personality in favor of a blank one?"

"I don't want to.... No. But... If you-" I growled. Wasn't this the right thing? If I could get rid of all the things that were wrong with me, they would be okay. We would be happy.

Naegi tilted faer head. "Are you going through with it, Anuli?"

I huffed. "Sorry. I - not now. There must be a way to... change all the broken parts? Without having to revise? Ah.. like an extremely fast character arc?" I startled, my words registering. "Oh, sorry that was a really bad metaphor-"

Yes. I can help you with 'an extremely fast character arc'" Naegi sighed. "I don't agree with what you are trying to do though."

"sorry"