#Anxiety: A Portrait

[charmfamily]

(SEMI) CHARMED KIND OF LIFE: EPISODE 3, PART XIX. “GENESIS IN BLACK”

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[ultrainfinitepit]

Questioning Angel (WIP)

[loomsims]

Back to Posting Sims and Yapping 🙌🏽

HI Y'ALL! I have once again resurrected from the dead <3 there has been a lot going on fr. I was super inspired back when I was posting Eddy pretty consistently, and then all of a sudden all the dopamine in my brain flew out of my body and stayed out :D literally nothing sims related sparked joy in me and I was really struggling to play my game. It sucked fr. Recently though my brain has seemed to get it together and now I miss posting and being on tumblr in general :( so even though I don't really have gameplay to post I'll just be posting the random stuff I've been doing in game :> Edward will eventually make his return as well!

quick sidenote- @sourlemonsimblr you ate DOWN with these face masks !! they are so gorg 😫🫶🏽

[dragonkick-bootshine]

blorbos from my hospital 🏠

[nemfrog]

Stress. Baby in a shoebox. n.d.

Internet Archive

[eldstunga]

Please let her sleep uninterrupted by pushy men with cutscenes.

[bigfreezzze]

[daftpatience]

guys im selling my sticker machine for $ to replace it with a different model of sticker machine and im so freakin nervouse. what if the fb marketplace guy that comes to get it does some cartoon villain shit and then i have 0 moneyand 0 sticker machine. wat then. aaaou

the thing is!!!! i intentionally priced it sorta high (still below what i paid for it) because i had it up for trade (i figure there was a chance someone with the machine i want was wanting to upgrade to a bigger size) and this guy wants to buy mine when there are like 15 other ones in our area that are way cheaper priced. im like whuh. why mine.

im hoping its just because i have it listed with a comparatively thorough description and a video of it working etc and not that this guy is tryig to scam me some how. im so weirded out.

[murdleandmarot]

@pinkieclown HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(This is their oc Oopsadaizee!!!)

There’s a right side up version under the cut :)))

[karrotkings564]

Tadahhhhh

Time taken 36 hours and 18 minutes

[stanford-photography]

The End of the Day By Jeff Stanford, 2024 Buy prints at: https://jeff-stanford.pixels.com/

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.

T.S. Eliot

[brancadoodles]

Branca is fully paralyzed! They can't move!

[pinayelf]

coping w anxiety by drawing hot men

[hauntedgardenking]

i am ancient moss lay slick against the ageless forest floor

i am static in that my mouth knows no news only hysteria

i am affixed to rotting ghost towns; languid seraphim

i am placid water in that urban explorers dare not disrupt the surface

i am 3 am cigarettes on winter terraces; junkie eyed