#Anyway fuck this show and all who sail in her

[lazywitchling]

“So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?”

(Yes I did just order a pot pie from the chicken fast food place. I’m watching 12 hours of movies, I ain’t cooking a whole pot pie!)

Okay. Look.

When I was younger, my cousin bitched about elves at Helm’s Deep not being in the book, but I didn’t think it mattered because it’s cool and I liked elves and it made me the fun kind of sad when Haldir died.

But now I get why. (I mean, ultimately it’s a fictional story so it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of life, blah blah, you get the drill. I will complain about this, but I don’t care if you like it, ya dig?)

So here’s the thing. Theoden’s whole storyline throughout this movie and into the next is that he does not believe anyone will help him. Gondor could have come to save his people, but they didn’t. Rohan was left on its own, and people died, and that sucks. So Theoden has succumbed to the depressive thoughts of “We’re all gonna die anyway, why bother fighting?” (Hey that’s a major— actually THE major point of this whole story!!) He has hidden his people away to hide because he knows fighting is futile because they will be alone.

It’s a big deal when he agrees to go out and fight alongside Aragorn as the Uruks are about to overwhelm the keep. I said last year, Tolkien’s brand of hope is the difference between “I only have one hit point left :(“ and “I still have one hit point left >:)” Theoden STILL has no reason to believe help is coming, but he chooses to act like it is anyway, because the alternative is just curling up and dying right there. And he is rewarded, because Gandalf shows up with reinforcements!! Eomer, who has every reason to hate Theoden, brought all the riders to help! Everyone is saved! Hooray!!

But the damn elves show up in the middle of Theoden’s “Aw nobody will help us :(“ thing. And then elf help arrives. And he goes “Yay, help is here!!” And then nobody really mentions the elves again except for Haldir’s brief dying scene, and Theoden is right back in his “Aw nobody will help us :(“ thing. It just slaughters the pacing of the story, and Theoden’s arc along with it.

Furthermore, the elves say they were sent by Elrond, who has chosen to have the elves fight alongside mortals once again to honor old alliances! Except that Elrond isn’t really participating in this portion of his own character arc, and in fact doesn’t reach that “idk maybe mortals aren’t so bad after all” point until RotK. So it’s somehow fully out of character for him at this point even though he’s not even there.

ADDITIONALLY, it fucks up ARWEN’S story, because the whole thing with her is that she has to choose between sailing to the undying lands and being with her people forever but losing Aragorn, or staying with Aragorn who will eventually die and then she has no one left and no way to get to the undying lands and will never see her family again and will just live until the heat death of the universe. See, I’m pretty sure (don’t quote me on this) that there’s like… a respawn thing that happens with Tolkiens elves. They’re not only ageless, they’re unkillable. They CANT die. That’s why Arwen’s choice is so difficult. She couldn’t even live out life with him and then jump off a bridge after he dies so she doesn’t have to see the heat death of the universe. She’s literally stuck.

But friggin Haldir takes a sword to the head and has a sad death moment, and then I’m left wondering why everyone is pestering Arwen so much. If elves can die, then she has no problem.

I’m pretty sure it messes up other storylines too, but my pot pie is getting cold.

[anxresi]

Wait a second…

You actually think the writers (if that’s what they are)… put one iato of thought into this entire scenario.

Excuse me, but… 🤣

Actually no, that’s not quite sufficient…

Better.

That’s it. You can now continue on with your scheduled day.

[dollycxre]

Fem Mortal Reader x Yandere Hestia, but the reader isn't a pushover.

:)

yandere! Hestia x fem! mortal! Reader - ♡ general hcs

warnings -> none....it's hestia...actually, slight clinginess??

paring/s -> yandere! Hestia x mortal! fem! reader (gender of the reader isn't mentioned or relevant tbh)

a/n -> rising from my grave to finish this

————————————————————

-> meeting her as a mortal means that you're probably gonna meet her in your fireplace

-> the most likely scenario is that you had just faced one of the worst heartbreaks in your life— losing a family member, a regular breakup, whatever

-> Hestia, being who she is, would probably not be able to bear the sight of someone in pain, guiding the fire to warm you up, flames flickering up towards you as if in a comforting manner

-> her presence is a very comforting and homely feeling and when she concentrates on a particular hearth, her power increases tenfold

-> probably resulting in you dozing off in a cozy armchair, fast asleep like your world hadn't just come crashing down around you

-> she watches you sleep so peacefully (but like- in a non creepy way)

-> she keeps on at it for a while, watching you do your daily chores for a while, admiring you from a safe distance and slowly falling for you

-> I don't think Hestia would even bother trying to disguise herself as a regular human to you, she just pops up in your fireplace one day and shyly starts a conversation

-> Depending on your reaction, she'd either cool you down or happily continue your conversation like literally nothing ever happened

-> I'm not gonna go into details but she'd win you over pretty damn quickly and starts dating you as soon as possible

(now for some domestic fluff...cuz it's hestia)

-> I have this headcanon that because Hestia is the goddess of family, she'd know all the best picnic spots

-> like you cannot tell me that she wouldn't know the most gorgeous cliffside overlooking a sea view in the world and take you there as a date

-> she likes baking for you because she adores how your face lights up when she makes you those cookies you love so much

-> she already knows your allergies and taste in food so don't even bother telling her, she's already got the best recipes she has set in mind :)

-> she likes taking you on peaceful walks with her while she's disguised as a human

-> watching all the different people walk by with their dogs, significant others, etc, etc makes her very happy

-> she'll point out to you all the small, gorgeous details your eyes might've missed

->she wants to show you the beauty of the world you live in!

-> definitely takes you to visit her favourite places in greece

->dresses up like a local that the people know well by now and takes you to her favourite parts of her homeland <3

->wants you to try all the native food, 100%

->when it comes to the issue of her being an immortal goddess and you being a regular ol mortal with a short life span (compared to her anyway), she'll try to convince you to let her feed you nectar

->obviously, you say something along the lines of 'fuck no'

->she's devastated when you abandon her at the table in the restaurant she took you to, to run away

->keeps popping up in the hearth whenever you light your fire (only for you to extinguish the flames with water)

->she finally gets you to have a normal, healthy conversation with her when she catches you off guard while you're napping by the fireplace

->would probably end with a compromise (somehow) that she'd make your closest friends and family immortal with you so that you'd all be able to live together

->after that, your relationship is pretty much smooth sailing

->Hestia isn't a very possessive or jealous person and she usually communicates that she's uncomfortable when she is

->cuz, y'know...she's actually sane (unlike the rest of her siblings and nephews and nieces)

->adopts an animal with you, a hundred percent <3

->likes cuddling you in her hearth, because it's so warm and cozy that you always end up falling asleep on her chest

->and she likes that :)

->takes you up to Olympus because she isn't scared of someone else taking you away

->none of the gods would even try because who would want to make Hestia upset? (especially cause it's mostly out of fondness, rather than terror *cough cough* Athena *cough cough*)

->anyway, she's probably one of the best girlfriends in the world <3

->can't and doesn't marry you because of her vow, but gives you a promise ring and lets you give her one if you really wanted to <3

->mostly just overly clingy, staying by your side whenever she can and hearth-hopping to wherever you go— work, out with friends, etc

BONUS!

-> she leaves you with Aphrodite if she's busy, because Aphrodite thinks you're adorable and always spends her time with you helping her doves make you all pretty for Hestia, Cinderella's fairy godmother style :)

[nathanbatemanfucker]

The Bee and the Bear, Chapter 2: Back in the Beef

summary: carmy takes the first step to mending his relationship with you.

pairing: carmy berzatto x fem!reader (Bee)

contents: 18+/NSFW/eventual smut, grief, death of family member, explicit language, pining, longing

wc: 2.3k

an: back with part 2! i really love these two and the whole “will they, won’t they” vibes they give off. like obviously they’re in love and have been avoiding their whole lives, rippppp. let me know if i missed any warnings. thoughts/comments/reblogs are always appreciated!

series masterlist

chapter 1: And Then There Were 4 < |

Carmy usually doesn’t answer the phone– not because he doesn’t want to and not because he doesn’t care but because he’s busy. There’s always something to do. He’s always needed in the present, always necessary with each new step forward and that lends itself to be distant with those who aren’t right in front of you. But, when you call Carmy to let him know that The Beef is his, his phone is in his hand. He nearly drops it, watching as your contact name and an outdated picture of the two of you pop up on his screen.

He doesn’t decline the call, he watches it ring and ring until it goes to voicemail. And when your face disappears from the screen, his chest goes empty. The voicemail icon replaces the missed call notification on his phone and his hands grow clammy. He shoves his phone back into his coat pocket and fishes out a cigarette, lighting it quickly. After a few pulls he feels much more equipped to listen to your message.

This had to be about Mikey.

You’ve given up on him and stopped calling years ago when he failed to reciprocate your attempts at connection. Carmy’s sure that Mikey’s death is the only thing that could make you tolerate him after that. The ship he so desperately wanted to get on but ignored has sailed. But, maybe this call could be a lifeboat. Maybe through loss, he could get you back.

Were you calling to give him your condolences? To chew him out for not showing up to his brother’s funeral? He could take something like that from Sugar or Richie, even his mother– but not from you. From you, it would feel like a knife to the heart. He listens to the voicemail anyway.

Too much time has passed since he’s heard your voice. It's different and yet somehow all the same— a little deeper and less girlish— but still so smooth and sweet. You sound nervous and the beginning makes him chuckle under his breath in a white puff of air from the cold.

“Oh fuck, sorry. H-Hi, Carmen. It’s…it’s me. Nat and I just went through Mikey’s will and well…he left it to you. The Beef I mean, it’s yours. Sugar really needs you to come home to figure this out.”

Carmy goes breathless, eyes shutting as his mind starts to whirl. The restaurant he never got to work in is now his? Mikey had left him The Beef? Mikey had hardly ever trusted him with anything once he went away, and now is the time that he wants his skills? When he’s dead?

There’s a swell of emotions in his chest that make it tighten— grief, anger, devastation— and he’s about to hang up by smashing the phone into the ground when your voice plays again.

Your voice is softer this time, but infused with desperation and even some grit: “Just come home and help your fucking sister. Please, Carmy.”

He has no choice now. Not when you sound like that. He goes inside and quits his job. On the walk home he books a plane ticket and once inside he packs everything he can fit in a suitcase and calls around for storage units.

It’s time to go back to The Beef.

—

Carmy puts the ad out for a sous before he’s even finished packing. A day later when he gets a call from a chef named Sydney.

Sydney’s been waiting for something like this to roll around. She scours and picks through ads no matter the time of day: while she cases her route, in her ice-block of a mail truck on lunch, at 2 a.m. when she’s up writing recipe notes in her tiny black book. Before he’s even seen her resume he can feel that she’s the one but tells her to bring her resume to stag at the end of the week. He needs to feel the click in person before he just hires her on, especially with the shitshow he knows he’s about to put her through.

Mikey wasn’t wrong: The Beef is a mess. Nothing is clean, there’s no technique or nuisance, and the staff is rowdy and combative. Thank god for Sydney and her training, her tact. He’d be drowning otherwise. He was right about her, they’re perfect partners, finishing each other’s thoughts and movements, and ideas.

Richie’s hovering, ignoring his responsibilities to fuck with Carmy when he says, “Still can’t believe you let her walk out like that.”

Carmy meets Richie’s playful gaze with a glare, “Cousin, do me a favor and shut the fuck up.”

“Let who walk out?” Sydney asks curiously, eyes trained on her prep.

“Bee,” Fak supplies, perched on the counter behind them.

“Shut up, Fak,” Carmy pleads.

Sydney glances over her shoulder at him, “And who are you again?”

“I’m Fak. The Fak. Well there are multiple Faks but—“

Carmy cuts him off quickly, not in the mood to hear another one of his rants, “He fixes things for us. By the way Fak, aren’t you suppose to be, I don’t know, fucking working?”

“You got it.”

Sydney tries to keep her voice nonchalant, hoping that Carmy won’t feel pressured by her when she asks, “Who’s Bee?”

“Childhood friend,” He says reluctantly. “Can we focus on prep?”

Sydney ducks her head, that regret from before surging inside of her, “Yes, chef.”

“Thank you, chef.”

For the first time since he’s arrived, Carmy’s grateful for the insanity of The Beef. For the way that Tina and Ebra and Marcus and Richie never stop talking a mile a minute because they distract him from thoughts of you. All the guilt and shame that comes with the way he treated everyone of course, but most of all you. He’d always gotten vibes from you, even before he did on his own, Richie and Mikey and Sugar were trying to get him to open his eyes. Somewhere along the way he convinced himself that freeing you of him was the best for everyone involved.

“Cousin.” Richie’s voice pulls him out of his robotic routine.

Carmy’s eyes dart to the kitchen’s entrance but his hands don’t stop, “Fuck, what is it?”

When Richie’s voice is that quiet and earnest there’s a problem. Your face popping around Richie’s arm is enough of an answer and Carmy’s heart drops into his stomach. This wasn’t how he hoped to see you again. He’s been crafting a text for days, trying to figure out the best way to ask you to talk. But talking about all of it sounds so daunting. The double-edged sword of picking and prodding at all your shared wounds in some hopes of healing.

You glare up at Richie, “Richie, where’s Sugar? Why are you bein’ a fucking weirdo?”

“Oh, another person. Ok, ok,” Sydney nods, before turning back to her prep.

“Bee– what’re you doing here?” Carmy’s voice breaks and he winces at the way it sounds. It's not that he’s disappointed to see you, he just never wants you around this place. He’s all too aware that that sounds too much like Mikey, but quickly pushes the thought into the back of his mind.

Sydney’s curiosity peaks again at the sight of you. What are the odds that the seemingly infamous Bee would show up after Carmy avoided talking about her? 100%. She waves her knife at you, “Hi, I’m Sydney. Carmy’s sous.”

You smile at the woman, eyes lingering on her beautiful, patterned scarf for a moment, “Hi Sydney, good to meet you. Since Richie’s not answering my questions, have you seen Sugar?”

“Sugar’s not here,” Richie says simply, leaning up against the wall as eyes flicker between you and Carmy.

“She’s not here,” You repeat, your face twisting with confusion.

Carmy wipes his hands on his apron, stepping over to you with eyes full of concern, “Why? What’s wrong? What’s up?”

The way he’s looking at you makes your heart flutter in your chest. Goddamn those fucking blue eyes, so soft and so sad. “Oh, it’s nothing, really. She just— she told me to drop this off to her. Why would she not be here?

Carmy groans, scrubbing his hand over his face. His fucking sister. Always having to step in, always having to meddle and get in her hands in places they don’t belong. She’d set you— both of you up.

“I’ll be right back, Syd.”

“Gotcha.”

“Come with me,” He murmurs. You realize a beat too late that he's talking to you, so he grabs your hand and pulls you back to Mikey’s office. To his office. He releases your hand quickly, “Uh, what is it?”

You ignore the sweat that slicks your palms, trying not to think about whose it is, “Some paperwork that you’d need for the restaurant? I think it’s the deed, y’know switching it from Mikey to you. You’ll need it for like inspection or taxes or—“

He takes the envelope from your hands, his fingers brushing your own, “Thank you, thank you.”

“Yeah, of course.”

He does that thing he always does, squinting at you for a moment that shows he’s turning a thought over and over in his head.

You smile awkwardly at him, though that familiar look on his face endears him to you, “What?”

“Do you wanna hang out tomorrow night?” He asks in a mumbled rush.

He speaks so quickly that you almost don’t understand him, except that you’ve been waiting for him to ask you that question since you were 18.

“What?”

He shrugs, running a hand through his messy hair, “Hang out, do you want to like do something?”

“With me?”

He raises a brow like he doesn’t know what you mean, “Yeah, you could come to my apartment? I could cook.”

“Oh. Um, yeah, sure. It’s been a while.”

He laughs, nodding a few times, “Yeah it has.”

You chuckle, licking your lips, “I imagine this is what Sugar wanted.”

His eyes track your mouth before he can stop himself but he forces his gaze back up, “Yeah, she’s smart like that.”

“She is. I’ll let her know her plan worked,” You tease.

He laughs again— a short, bright sound, “Cool, cool. So, I’ll text you my address?”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Should I bring anything?”

“Some wine, maybe?”

“Any kind?”

“Anything you want, Bee.”

And god the way he says your name. The way he’s looking at you again with those stupidly pretty blue eyes. You never stood a chance.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

He sighs in relief now that the hard part is done, his smile widening at the thought of you sitting at his kitchen table, “Heard.”

You snort, shaking your head at his stupid chef talk, “Heard.”

The two of you are too wrapped up in each other, floating in your bubble of awkward bliss to have heard that Sydney’s knife stopped chopping, or that Richie stopped fucking with someone else. Too occupied to hear their steps get closer and closer to the office, or that the tips of their heads are peaking around the corner. That is until you playfully push his shoulder, pushing his body in a way that brings them into his peripheral vision.

Carmy’s eyes go wide for a moment, his head tilting in inquiry as he looks at Sydney and Richie, “You two joinin’ forces, huh?”

Sydney gives you a sheepish smile, her eyes full of regret, “We were just— we were um—“

“Good to meet you, Sydney. Richie,” You say as you snake between the two of them.

Richie dips to press a kiss to your temple, “See you, sweetheart.”

Carmy returns to his station without a word to either of them even when they join him back in the kitchen. For a while there’s silence again– though this time it is clearly awkward, full of things unsaid.

Breaking the silence, Richie does his best impression of Carmy, “Hang out, do you want to like do something?”

Carmy points the knife at him, scowling, “Oh, fuck you Richie! Why don’t you fuck off.”

Sydney tries to hold in her laughter and fails, giggling, “She must be down pretty for that to have worked.”

Carmy’s brows raise so high it’s comical, “Oh, really?”

“I’m fuckin’ with you, Carm.”

“Yeah, fuck you, fuck the both of you,” He says through a laugh.

Richie does fuck off, going back out to the front of house to do his job for once. It leaves Sydney and Carmy in the hustle and bustle of prep again.

She bumps his shoulder with her own, “You deserve it, Carmy.”

His mouth twitches as he glances over at her and when their eyes meet, he knows she’s being genuine. “Thanks, Syd. Can we like, maybe never talk about this again?”

“Totally, yeah. For sure. Absolutely,” She agrees easily and they both laugh, deep in their bellies.

–

You drive home with a lightness in your step, one you are pointedly trying to ignore because this is nothing but two friends seeing each other after being apart for some while. You have a partner to go home, a life to go home to. And Carmy’s never given you any indication that this was more than friendship. He wouldn’t have left you out in the cold if it was more…right? He wouldn’t do this to you if he loved you like that, would he? It doesn’t matter how many times you try to rationalize what has and hasn’t happened between you and Carmy– it never makes it hurt less.

That night a wave of nostalgia washes over you as you lay in your childhood bedroom, thinking about Carmy. You feel 16 again, staring up at the faded purple paint covered in droves of flowers. As you close your eyes, you answer some of those questions that popped into your mind at the thought of calling him.

He is the machine you thought he’d become. But his eyes are just as deep, but sadder. His laugh is the same, a little awkward but just as genuine. The flush in his cheeks proves that his heart still beats. He is that boy you fell in love with all those years ago, even as the man he’s become.

He’s your Carmy. Your Bear. It makes you ache.

| > chapter 3: Like a Bear to a Hive

18+ carmy taglist: @treefingers, @mrsdominickstark, @princess-of-fanfics, @whore-for-murdock, @xxxstormyninixxx, @dreamingwithlens, @thecraziestcrayon, @jam1esl0v4, @lilylovelyxo, @jadeittic, @jotarokuj0, @bunnysthngs, @gcidrvsh, @mistalli, @luvr-bunnyy, @s3xymoonman, @salinaiacono6

If you ask to be added to the taglist but didn’t verify you’re 18+ you will not be added!

[poppy-metal]

ranch hand!art is shellshocked after he hangs up the phone. he’s about to marry the woman he’s loved since his youth, and he’s feeling doubt trickle in the edges. for a split second he fantasizes about ending the sham here, running off to new york to find you, and fuck you then and there in front of your fiancé, but that fantasy dies as quickly as it came because art is a good man. he promised lucy he’d love her until death do they part, to hold her in sickness and health, and to fill her with the seeds of the children she will bear him. no matter how much you plague his being, he can’t continue like this. click! the lock on your box shuts into place and is shoved into the back of his mind.

he can’t even pretend to enjoy his wedding night. something he cherished since the very beginning of his courtship now sullied by you—by the thought of you. the shy blushing bride that lays below him makes his stomach turn, but he swallows it down and puts on a sweet smile. “no need to be shy, darlin’, it’s just your husband,” he says, rubbing on her clit softly. her soft pants throw him off. her shyness makes him sick. he wants to hear you: your loud unabashed moans and mewling, the way your hips would careen up into his touch, forcing more from him. the passive girl that lays in front of him cannot be further from you, but he loves her,,,right? so he shuts away any memory of you for now while he makes gentle, sweet love to his wife.

in new york you mull over art, something you only let yourself do when you were truly alone, because as good as he was, you couldn’t piece him together. he didn’t want you to leave, wanted you to love him, but he didn’t love you. but he also wasn’t happy, at least, he didn’t say he was. worst of all, the pregnancy test on your bathroom counter was laid face down. there were another 2 minutes left on your timer. you did the calculations in your head; honestly, it could be your fiancé’s; he had you in his bed after the second meeting. for him, it was your beauty and flirtations that made him cave so quickly. for you, it was the need for someone to hold you, to show you warmth. and has done nothing but that. but you can’t shake that the baby might be a reminder of your wickedness—that you spent the summer seducing a taken man over and over again. but you also might not be pregnant. there’s only a minute left. well, it wouldn’t matter who’s baby it was; both men would potentially pass on strawberry blond hair and blue eyes, but those were recessive traits anyways. your phone timer breaks the silence. you take a deep breath in and flip the test over. well shit.

art’s honeymoon is anything but smooth sailing. while he enjoys spending the day lounging next to his wife and going on excursions, the nights together makes him sick. because no matter how much he reminds himself of his love and devotion and promise to god, he cannot shake you from him. everything about her is a constant reminder of you and how she will never be you. her mouth that recites prayers every night with him before bed cannot make it past his tip without popping off for air. her hands that she keeps clasped in his while they walk along the beach are never shameless in their roaming, never gripping or scratching into his back. her cunt that she’s kept to herself all these years—saving it for him—is tight, but unlike yours, it’s vice-like. when art sinks in, it’s a reminder that he is bound to her forever; an eternity of gentle, polite sex. the one time he began fucking into her like he would with you, she cried and begged him to stop, and of course he did; he’s her husband after all.

it’s a week after art gets back from his honeymoon, and he’s out in the fields mending the fences after the storm. he wonders if it made its way to new york and if you found comfort in your fiancé’s arms. lucy found a job as your grandma’s caretaker—a new position since your grandma took a nasty fall at the beginning of the week and broke her hip—so there is not a moment in the day where she’s not around reminding him that you are not around. he’s focused in on his work when he hears a commotion from the house.

“what a fancy envelope!” lucy marvels, looking over your grandma’s shoulders, “what’s it for?”

“it’s my granddaughter’s wedding invitation, and it looks like she bought me plane tickets for it too.”you grandma reads over the letter you attached, “i hope you’re healing, praying for your recovery every night,,,please use the second plane ticket for a guest to accompany you, i know the travel will be hard on your own.” art’s ears prick up.

“why art, why don’t you come with me? you and her were quite close while she was here,” she says, a sly glint in her eyes.

“that’s nonsense, art has to tend to the ranch while you’re away,” lucy responds, her brows furrowed.

“you’re acting like he’s the only competent ranch hand here,” patrick butts in, “let the man go. i want to know how our cowboy likes the big city. plus i need him to convince her not to marry the guy,” art freezes at his friends words, “so she can come back and marry me.” art is going to throttle him.

“you’re being ridiculous. i’ll go with granny since i’m her caretaker, and art can stay and man the ranch like he always does in her steed,” lucy says with finality, “right, art?”

and because he is a good righteous husband, he obediently nods.

your grandma thinks he’s weak.

- 🤠

(up next, your wedding 😳)

GASP NOT THE PREGNANCY........ its definitely arts baby, no doubt about it. his seed is too potent. you already have a prominent bump by the time of your wedding - and in the end, art is the one who ends up coming with your grandma, if only because her and patrick are schemers and made it that way.

aurrrrrrr he's there for the weekend and you have him and your grandma set up in a fancy hotel - you didn't expect him to come - and you're nervous as hell to see him. his eyes darting to your baby bump immediately - pupils dilating - need him and reader to have a confrontation before the wedding, the day before or even the day of - dancing around eachother until the art can't help but ask who the baby belongs to. not knowing what he wants the answer to be. and you know its arts - had done the math in your head soon after going to the doctors. two months along, nearly three - when he'd fucked you in the barn - yeah, there's no question.

but you don't get the point in confessing it. he's already married. you're about to be. what good would telling him you're having his kid do? only cause more drama and pain, and you've given him enough of that.

but you can't lie to art donaldson, either.

"its yours, art. but don't - you don't need to worry. I don't expect anything from you."

he wants to die.

[alex51324]

OK, so it is actually thematically relevant, but not necessarily in a good way

I've mentioned before that a lot of the flaws in OFMD S2 seem to stem from DJenks and the team trying to eat their cake and have it too: when they have two things they want to do, but can't--or don't have time, budget, whatever--to make them actually work together, they just jam them both in anyway.

The biggest of these is, of course, having Izzy die at the end, and a "kind ending," where Stede and Ed launch a non-piracy-based life, while the ship and remaining crew set off under the leadership of the younger generation.

As I've also mentioned before, Izzy's death makes narrative sense as a setup for a revenge arc in the as-of-yet-hypothetical Season 3. The finale gestures toward that with Zheng suggesting they team up, she to avenge her fleet, Ed to avenge his lifelong right-hand man--and the rest of the crew, presumably, to avenge their unicorn.

Ed shrugs his shoulders and fucks off to start an inn, and the rest of the crew sail off for new adventures. That ending would make sense as a series finale: Ed and Stede, having accomplished what they wanted to do in the field of piracy, launch a new, land-based life, while the other sail off to new adventures under the leadership of the next generation. It hasn't quite been earned yet, at this point--for one thing, Stede and Ed have some relationship issues to work through--but given another season, it could work really well.

The trouble is, that you can't cram a happy ending and a sequel hook into the same five minutes. Neither one actually works. You can kind of make out the general idea of both elements, but what actually comes across is the two captains flitting off into a doomed, whim-based venture while giving, a most, maybe half a fuck about Izzy's death.

And the reason that's thematically relevant, is that wanting two contradictory things and once, and refusing to choose between them, is the core of Ed's internal conflict.

He's bored of being Blackbeard, and he's tired of doing violence, and he wants to be soft and open and have genuine relationships with people--but he also wants the respect and deference that come with the Blackbeard brand.

He wants, as we see in the Gravy Basket, to be a simple innkeeper--but for the guests to never be rude or demanding (because they secretly know he could kill them).

He wants to be able to offer a half-assed apology and be embraced without criticism (because he's Blackbeard and they don't actually have a choice).

He wants to be a fisherman who does not actually have to catch any fucking fish (because the other fishermen should be impressed and grateful that Blackbeard is slumming it with them).

Most of all, he wants emotional intimacy with Stede, without vulnerability and the potential of getting hurt. (Because the main thing the Blackbeard persona always was, was a way not to get hurt.)

Ed's entire arc is painting a picture of a man who doesn't know how to make hard choices between two things he really wants.

And season 2, especially combined with the scattershot, contradictory postseason interviews, paints a vivid picture of a showrunner with the exact same problem, artistically speaking.

That may be part of the reason why that aspect of Ed's character is so convincingly and compellingly depicted, but it doesn't bode well for the show actually resolving the conflict.

[sadesluvr]

NOPE Relationship HC's (SFW + NSFW)

Featuring OJ, Emerald + Angel (Mainly AFAB anatomy but some are GN)

OJ HAYWOOD

gif by @ayoedebiris

Having OJ as a boyfriend might seem difficult at first, but once you adjust it’s rather smooth sailing. It’s easier for him to understand you as he would a horse, so a lot of your connection comes through that. OJ takes his time through actions rather than words to get to know you; and once he feels comfortable enough, he’ll introduce you to the horses. ‘Dates’ aren’t really dates, more of a thing where you two do stuff together, not set on a certain date or time. His favourite activity is being with you whilst you do menial, but necessary tasks to help in the stables, and if you’re lucky he may even teach you how to ride one. OJ doesn’t venture far, so you’d spend spare hours inside, listening to records and having a drink. 

OJ’s favourite position is doggy, and whilst he doesn’t necessarily have a breeding kink, his favourite thing to do is to finish inside you. Backshots can sometimes lack romance, but that isn’t the case with OJ. He’s a bit on the huskier side, and in the heat of the moment he rests his full weight on your back, shoving you into the bedsheets as the fat of your ass slams against his own skin. You’re practically prone-boning at this point; his hands gripping onto the curve of your hip and ass as you angle your head to kiss him. It’s so rare to see him so uninhibited; but he’s still OJ – focused, analytical, all in the chase of your orgasm. He’s the type not to pull out immediately, holding it in you until you both catch your breath and eventually fall asleep... 

OJ is a total munch. He has a habit of devouring you, taking long, deliberate licks on your folds before sucking intently on your clit. He’s all eyes here; studying your face and all its little reactions as he fucks and fingers you until you cum. 

EMERALD “EM” HAYWOOD

gif by @horrorwomensource

Em is a bit of a player, but when she wants to settle down and commit, she will. Being with her is always fun; with spontaneous dates to music shows, arcades or sports events. She gives you complete princess treatment; and will fully walk down the street with her arm around your neck and show you off to everyone who passes. Em def has old school swag (she gets it from her Daddy of course), and in her slower, more intimate moments you spend time getting high and drinking together, listening to the oldies on the record player. Dionne Warwick and The Isley Brothers to Public Enemy and Biggie; they set the tune of your rare but cherished quiet nights in. 

Her nickname for you is ‘Lil Mama’. 

Homegirl is experienced so she knows just how to make love to you. Em eats you out with surprising variety; knowing when to speed up with her fingers and flick her tongue just at the right angle, or when to slow it down and really explore you. She’s humming and praising you the entire time, speaking into your wet pussy. “Damn mama, you sure is sweet.”  She loves it when you run your fingers through her short curls, gripping her roots as you beg for more. Being the competitive spirit she is, Em needs to hear how good she makes you feel. “That’s right pretty girl, say it. Say my name...” 

When she brings out the strap, she’s a total menace. She managed to get the ones that are flesh coloured, and she takes advantage of it. She’ll slap it on your lips and lie back as you ride her, taking it off at the last second and eating you out just as you cum. 

ANGEL TORRES

gif by @keefechambers

Being with Angel is the typical 20-something relationship experience. Meeting him at the store, or on Instagram, Angel is chilled, but sweet. Most of your dates/hangouts take place late at night after his shift; going to the movies, the arcade, or just crashing at his place. It isn’t the tidiest, but half the time you’re only there for one thing anyway. Angel loves a late night meal – whether it’s because he’s got the munchies, or that’s when he has free time – but most of your dates include eating at some diner or restaurant. He’s truly the plug when it comes to good eats. 

It’s cliché, but he does love seeing you wear his band tees, especially when you’re at his place, lounging on the bed as you watch him play video games and it rides up your stomach. It makes him feral. 

 His only red flag is that he’s a Bitcoin miner. 

Angel has big dweeb boyfriend energy. His favourite way to fuck you is when you’re both half high, or tired, or just plain bored. One minute you’re on his bed smoking and listening to one of his favourite niche rock bands, and the next you’re in cowgirl, lazily fucking back on his cock. He’s loves blowjobs, especially while high, and is definitely more of a receiver.  Angel prefers to cum somewhere on your body, just because he’s 24 and doesn’t want to risk having a child/getting a disease, but there’s been one time where you’ve fucked raw. He came inside and he loved it. 

Angel is more of a whimper, preferring to make soft moans rather than loud noise, but when he’s really riled up it’s damn near impossible to shut him up. 

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

It's all in the side notes

I can’t believe why is not painfully obvious for everybody else too, it's like everyone notices everything around it except this huge elephant in the Sydcarmy room.

Let me explain:

The side notes on the script are what the actors play, not just the script itself. The subtexts, the nuances, the silences, all of that is indicated by the director and rehearsed over and over before shooting at least 2 takes of every single scene.

02X01 was about teamwork towards The Bear's opening, that's why the director opened and closed the ep with that, to make that point. The side notes were all about playing every single scene with a SOU, fast-paced dialogues, etc, because every second counts and that's why a clock was ticking on pretty much every scene.

When 02x02 ends with a close-up of Claire smiling after Carmy gives her the wrong number, that´s not the point the director tried to make, but that Carmy TOOK HIS FUCKING TIME in giving her the wrong number, he almost gave it to her in slow motion, meaning that as he was giving it to her he was deciding what he eventually ended up doing with the last digit. He was on the fence the whole time and ended up deciding to "cut her off politely" in a very Carmy way. That was a side note in the script (the speech rate and the "decide as you go", and "be doubtful first" part).

In 02x03, the Sydcarmy vs Clairmy battle really began and it continued throughout the whole S2, all side notes because the script was barely obvious about Claire until he said: "I have to call my GF" after passing the gas inspection. Notice a pattern here? Or is it just me?

02X04 was mostly focused on Marcus in Copenhagen and introduced us to Chef Luca, raising the question, on purpose leaving it as an unanswered question - that will probably be answered in S3- on whether Luca was talking about Carmy when he was talking about a chef that was way better than him and that inspired him to become the chef he is today and up his game as much as he could. In other words: Not Sydcarmy material. Except we buy into the whole SydMarcus shipping they tried to insinuate with the Facetime call, which I won't get into because I feel dirty even typing about it. How dare they? Is it because they are both black? WTF?!! Well, my point is this is probably the least Sydcarmy episode of the season and we need to make a mental note about who directed it.

02x05 This episode's arc is all about the script's side notes: "Who's Claire? / I'm saying goodnight!" is all about the intonation, not the actual words. This is the bridge of the whole Sydcarmy song, that's why it's mid-season. Notice something? I have...

02x06 The masterpiece, it's all about the side notes but again, super non Sydcarmy, it's just supposed to show us The Berzatto's background story so Syd is not part of the equation. Claire is, in a way that will later make a lot more sense during Omelette's panic attack, of course.

02x07 AKA: My favest, is also a non-Sydcarmy kinda ep. Is all about Cousin's arc. BTW: I 100% ship these 2 and I hope S3 brings more RichJess fluff and stuff:

02X08 is all about the side notes again and takes us right back into SydCarmy vs Clairmy territory. Carmy had to call his new GF after passing the inspection to give her the good news.

02x09 I shouldn't even have to say a damn thing about this ep. Other than pointing out the obvious: IT'S THE MOST SYDCARMY EP OF THE WHOLE FUCKING SEASON, TYVM!

All I'm gonna add is that Carmy is laying awake after having sex with her:

I already talked about the common blue light in this scene here.

I'm not even gonna get into his panic attack. I mean... Do I have to? Seriously?

Anyway...

Storer finally joined the ship Calo was sailing since the beginning of the season here and all the side notes in this script are HIS.

The cinematography is his, the music is his, and every line, because he co-wrote it with Sydcarmy CEO: Joanna Calo herself.

And so we arrive to 02X10 where Sydcarmy is eaten alive by The Bear but ironically enough the one who doesn't survive is the Clairmy team LMAO! Sydcarmy on the other hand keeps going strong (Ayo was promoted to co-star for a reason, she's no longer part of the cast, she's the female lead of the show now) and in S3 we'll get to see how exactly will that play out.

My point is: The director and then the editors in the ER with the EP's sign-off can change what the writers write if they choose to and the actors have to perform the side notes according to the director's instructions.

In this case, since Storer joined the Calo Sydcarmy ship as I previously mentioned and usually they co-write and always co-produce the seasons those scripts, side notes, musicalizations and editions ARE ALL THEIRS. Every time Calo touches something, she turns it into Sydcarmy gold, and Storer and her are on the same page. That's why most Sydcarmy eps of the season were hers or his or directed by both.

June can't get here soon enough.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[decapitatedsnake]

My little (to no) context reaction to the wisdom saga 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

(I couldn't stay up to watch the live so I'm just listening to the music = no animatics)

[30th of august 14:58]

Legendary

. I mean I've already heard legendary but I'm excited

. Gorgeous music, I feel transported into like ancient greece

. This sounds amazing

. The guy who voices Telemachus (MICO?) is adorable

. I don't like the riffs but he sounds good

. Telemachus deserves the world

. "L-l-l-l egendary"

. 108??!

. Isn't he like 13 here? (anywhere from 12-15 i feel like)

. I don't think we got a snippet of the ending

. MAN OF THE HOUSE

. AHHHA

. 20 YEARS?? WHAT

. I can't tell if they said 12 or 20

."BOY" Lowkey scared me

. EXCUSE YOU SIR TRAMP?? WHO DOES HE THINK-

. Antinous didn't come to play DAYUM

. This is insane

. "Whatcha gonna do about it champ?" Jorge was totally right Ayron is such a good Antinous

. Awwww he can't do anything :<

. Wait?

Little wolf

. GET HIM TELEY

. I love Antinous's voice

. I really loved the snippets for this one

. "I'll teach you all the lessons your daddy never could" it's on sight actually

. And little wolf is just so ughh I wanna punch him

. ATHENA

. FIGHT BACK

. BAHAHAHA UPPERCUT?

. QUICK THOUGHT

. And he����is👏a 👏bully👏

. SHOW HIM

. ATHENA IS SO COOL

. OMG OMG

. Her voice is stunning

. The animatics are gonna go so hard

. Awww

. Oh he lost??

. Telemachus:((

. I mean yeah why did she come to your aid?

We'll be fine

. We only got Teleys bit so I'm excited

. Oo start with Athena

. FRIEND??

. Don't make me cry

. "He was a lot like you" gee I wonder why

. GREW APART :((

. HIS LIGHT!!

. GLORIOUS VOICE

. WAITT THEY CHANGED IT

. "Or if hes worth the hype but" > " I don't know what he's like"

. Fair enough

. And they changed "Cuz I got in a fight, sailed to an island when I've never left home shores"

. Okay it's been less than 5 minutes please refrain on the whole "friend" thing rn lol

. God telemachus voice (I can't shut up they're such good singers"

. DUET!!!!

. YOU WILL BE FINE

. Kid? Is he twenty or 12 I can't tell

Love in paradise

. FUCK YES

. WAIT THE INTRO?

. THEY WERE AT SEA FOR 10 YEARS, damn

. THE MUSIC SOARING, IT'S SO COOL, ouch

. CALYPSO MY LOVE (only the epic version though) [Ik it's up to interpretation but for me she doesn't sa him in this version]

. She's my wife 🙂 anyway 🤨

. HELL NO

. Oh shit love in paradise is athena watching, not Odysseus's experience

. Like this is when they first met and Calypso and Odysseus have been together for 7 years

. 7 YEARS

. YEAH I SAID THAT, before the song did

. ODYSSEUS!!

. WHAT > THE LEDGE

. ODYSSEUS 😭😭😭😭

. Wtf I am not emotionally stable enough for this

. Open..... arms.. BRO

. HIS MUM, POLITES AND EURY AND PENELOPE AND ATHENA??? BROO 😢

. YEAH I THINK HE DOES NEED HELP UGH

God games

. Ooo very grand

. Athena get him PLEASE

. She's about that business

. YES GOD GAMES INTRO OMGG

. WAIT WERE GONNA HEAR APOLLO AND HEAPHESTUS I'M SO EXCITED

. THE LITTLE MUSIC CHANEGS ARE SO GOOD

. ZEUS VOICE IS SO AMASZNIGN

. "and me" 😎

. That is not how I thought Apollo would sound

. He's batting for the sirens?? Um Ig that makes sense

. Oh Heaphestus I totally thought that aphrodite was next

. Well she's level 3 anyway

. BRO HIS DAD VOICES HEAPHESTUS I LOVE THAT

. Wait Apollo and Heaphestus are very reasonable, good for them

. NOW THE ONE WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR (excluding Hera)

. OMG IT'S THE SNIPPET THAT'S THE FINAL

. Athena's voice is new?

. Hmm she rerecorded but they didn't

. DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO KILL HER

. Don't fuck with Telemachus in front of Athena

. "Ughh release him"

. HERA

. OH FUCK SHE'S PERFECT CMON

. RELEASE HIM

. ZEUS YOU DICKHEAD SHE'S THE GODESS OF WISDOM LITERALLY ONLY HER COULD BEAT YOUR GAME

. WHAT WHAT

. NO

. WHAT???

. WHAT'S going on

. The music is telling me she like survived whatever his ambush was

. Zeus....

.THATS THE END WHATT

[kiwiana-writes]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your five favorite fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love. ❤️

I love that you sent this to me while I was still asleep, BEFORE the conversation we had this morning about me having 259 fanworks on AO3. I mean, I think you would have done it anyway, but still: asking me to pick a top five is extremely cruel and unusual behaviour 🤣

So. In no particular order in reverse chronological order because I just went through my works list to decide, kiwiana's five favourite kiwiana fics (at least today, because I definitely have the 'can't pick favourites' flavour of neurospicy):

Like loving the stars themselves

[RWRB, Alex/Henry, E, 7.2k words]

When he emerges out the other end of the alleyway and almost runs straight into a solid blue wall that wasn’t there last time he visited this area of town, Henry assumes his wandering thoughts have conjured an illusion. He blinks, and blinks again, but it’s still there: NORA’s unassuming back wall, the broken chameleon circuit now over thirty centuries out of date to blend into her surroundings the way she’s supposed to, her anomalous presence a wrench in Henry’s carefully laid plans. Alex is here. Or, Alex is a Time Lord, and time is complicated; Henry keeps meeting him out of order, and it's been a while.

I just... I genuinely think this is the best thing I've ever written. Along with Much Ado, it's the fic that is most strongly Peak MJ Vibes, and I am really fucking proud of the story crafting in this one. I LOVE writing fics, particularly one-shots, that have such a strong sense of the wider world they sit in while still being a satisyfingly complete story in their own right, and I don't think I've ever done that better than I did here. If you have no knowlege of Doctor Who, I PROMISE you do not need to be scared of this fic lol.

Puck It

[RWRB, Alex/Henry, E, 9.7k words]

“I’m English, dear,” Henry tells him, and fuck if the nickname isn’t doing something to Alex too. “Our national sport is rugby, and we play it with a lot less protective gear. Though,” he adds thoughtfully, “rugby players do wear mouth guards, which means they have the significant advantage of generally keeping all their teeth.” “We wear mouth guards.” It’s a common misconception, and one that annoys the shit out of him. “And I’ve still got all my teeth. Wanna check?”

HOCKEY! HOCKEY! THE GREATEST GAME IN THE LAND! This fic is so wildly different to what I intended it to be, but I absolutely love what it turned into. The college hockey AU that is somehow not quite a college AU and not quite a hockey AU, but is also definitively both. I love love LOVE both Alex and Henry in this, and I adore this fic.

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest)

[RWRB, Alex/Henry, E, 65.5k words]

Alex is a former child star struggling to make the transition into being seen as a serious actor. He jumps at an opportunity to perform on stage in the UK, seeing it as a way to break free from the typecasting and show what he can really do. But he wasn’t prepared to star alongside someone he hates. // Henry is a recent theatre graduate who accepts an amazing role in a queer reimagining of Much Ado About Nothing. And then it turns out his co-star is none other than the man he’s been hopelessly pining after for years—even though Henry made a terrible first impression when they met. // It’s… well, it’s practically Shakespearean.

First of all, I dropped chapter one of this fic one year ago today, so happy ficaversary to Much Ado! And... yeah. There's no universe in which this fic doesn't end up in my top five. I wrote this fic in a ~five week fever dream and it's probably only coherent because of @celeritas2997 and @ships-to-sail putting in a bunch of hard beta work lmao. It's just SUCH a love letter to theatre, to Shakespeare, to the power of queer joy. All things that are so fucking important to me!

And all the rest's illusion

[Schitt's Creek, David/Patrick, T, 1.8k words]

The first time David uses the word 'queer' to refer to him, it brings Patrick up short.

AKA 'MJ projects their feelings about how goddamn amazing the word queer is and makes a bunch of people cry, apparently'. This was a little bit of a spite reaction to ahistorical, ~q slur~ takes on queer as an umbrella term and I stand by that. Also, whenever I'm feeling like my writing isn't important/doesn't reach people/isn't adding any value to the world, I read through the comments on this fic and have a good cry. If YOU are feeling Not Queer Enough, I highly recommend reading through the comments on this fic and have a good cry even if you're not a Schitt's Creek person.

How much love will you happily take

[Schitt's Creek, David/Patrick, T, 8.0k words]

The trouble is, they don’t really have any privacy outside of the store — at least one member of David’s family is always at the motel, and Ray has never met a boundary he won’t cheerfully skip over. Neither of those seem like the ideal place to say 'so, I’m actually a virgin' or 'funny thing, apparently my dick’s so big no one wants to have sex with me', but the store hardly seems like an appropriate place to have that conversation either.

This started out as size kink and turned into eight thousand words of psychological kink analysis. I gave MULTIPLE people a humiliation kink with this one and I am, not joking, exceptionally fucking proud of that. LOVE to help people realise things about themselves with my writing.

[a-killer-obsession]

Some thoughts on the female crewmembers of the Kid Pirates? How do they interact with a big balls guy like Kid? 😅 I mean I see him threating women more disrespectful with a lot of ass grabbing 🤪

I honestly think Kid treats the ladies the exact same way he treats the men. In saying that: the kid pirates need a HR for sexual harassment from kid. He probably gets smacked a lot.

I do have a lot of personal headcanons though for what the girls are like! Behold:

☠️Kid Pirate Female Headcanons☠️

SFW under the cut 😊

Also including what I think their weapons would be!

Dive

I can never decide if she's a kid, or if she's just a short adult. The heels and fishnets make me lean towards adult, but then again her rolemodels for her fashion is the other kid pirates so she might not even realise how provocative those clothing items are. Either way, shes a fucking gremlin. Anger issues to boot but also so very happy go lucky, her mood can flip like a coin. We've seen how excited she gets for battle, I think she love love loves fighting. Shes a nuisance but everyone loves her. Has a massive stuffed animal collection (regardless of what her age really is)

Weapon: teeth

Hobbies: getting into mischief, swimming

House

Little old lady who is sick of everyone's shit. And by old I mean like, late fourties, early fifties perhaps. Ship doctor, but in a witch doctor sort of way. Big fan of dr kureha for sure! Has that same flippant, usually drunk on the job sort of personality. Everyone loves her though, shes the matriarch of the crew, and the commanders always ask her for advice. I headcanon she's related to Heat, perhaps his aunty. I like to think it was her that stitched up his Glasgow smile. She probably didn't want to be a pirate, but as the oldest she probably knew better than everyone what a shit show their home island was. Perhaps after all that gang violence maybe Heat is the only family she has left, so she naturally followed him out to sea.

Weapon: stays out of fights, but keeps a pistol on her just in case

Hobbies: collecting vintage medical journals, witchcraft

Hip

Most casual of the girls. Quiet, little bit stoic, bit of a tomboy, probably goes by she/they. Prefers to hang with the more masculine men on the crew, cos she'll gag if she has to listen to Quincy talk about makeup. I actually headcanon she's related to Killer, given they're both tan and blonde, and from the same island (probably, at least I headcanon all the kid pirates sailed out together), maybe cousins even. Strongest and the best fighter of the girls, everyone uses her like guard dog when they wanna go out. As the guard dog shes usually the one to smack Kid when he gets too handsy with one of the girls. He's a little scared of her tbh.

Weapons: the wiki says she apparently has two swords, i think dual weilding short blades would suit her

Hobbies: electric guitar, fishing (she likes the quiet time to think)

Hop

Bad bitch alert!! She's hot and she knows it! Bit of a stuck up bitch but she has her soft side. Gets along best with Wire. Considered the most stylish on the crew because somehow she makes even plain clothes look good, and everyone always wants her fashion and hair advice. I sort of imagine her to be like Nami, very obsessed with money and shopping, and a big time lesbian. Keeps her nails long and sharp as shit, and has a very impressive collection of knives. Her and Hip are very scary when they work together.

Weapon: wiki says she has a sword. I imagine her having a really delicate, slim sword, like a rapier

Hobbies: designing clothes, collecting vintage jewelry (she has very sticky fingers)

Quincy

Super ditsy tbh, really not suited to being a pirate but shes doing her best, its better than staying in the south blue anyway. Everyone makes fun of her cos she has a big obvious crush on kid, she's convinced shes gonna be queen of the pirates. Kid thinks its cute but shes not really his type, he doesnt mind her fawning though. Turns absolutely psychopathic if someone threatens her sweet kiddo! A real girl's girl, she loves anything cute and pink and fluffy, like just so very stereotypically girlypop

Weapon: usually kept away from fights, but like in Wavelengths I'd like to see her use that big chain of beads around her waist like a weapon

Hobbies: makeup and nails, fawning over kid and drawing bad fanart of her and him kissing (yes everyone thinks its concerning, but in an sweet way)

Emma

The quintessential 2010s tumblr scene girl. She reads A LOT of fantasy romance, draws fanart of her favourite book series, she would be a warrior cats girlie for sure. Bit of a scaredy cat and cries when she yells, but shes not afraid to pick up a sword if she has to if its to protect her friends. Really energetic personality though, she's easy to get along with, and she seems to know a little something about everything. Gets along best with Heat.

Weapon: rifle or similar, something long range and slim

Hobbies: reading & drawing

[helloalycia]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒 [𝐓𝐖𝐎] // 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐤

summary: after moving onto the ranch, you're met with the challenges of settling in and making a new friend of Alicia herself.

warning/s: mentions of death, bereavement and discrimination.

author's note: here’s part 2! bit on the long side but hope you enjoy it :)

one / three / four / masterlist / wattpad

Moving in with the ranchers wasn't smooth sailing, not that anyone expected it to be. There was a huge growing pain, with dirty looks being thrown our way and a heavy reluctance to obey the shared command between my father and Jake, or should I say my father and Madison.

I hadn't spoken to Alicia's mother much, only one quick informal introduction and the impression I received from when she burst onto the reservation to steal back Alicia and break the parley. I was trying not to hold a grudge from that, I knew she was only being an overprotective mother. But I wasn't sure if I could say I trusted her, despite my father seeming to respect her, much more than Jake anyway.

Working with Alicia as we all adjusted to living together wasn't going so bad. She was starting to grow on me, and I her, I think. Our goal was to show a unity between our people, and though many rolled their eyes when they saw us working together or chatting to one another, it kind of seemed to work. Some were encouraged to do the same, the ranchers following in Alicia's footsteps and giving my people a chance, which was all we wanted.

One day, we were searching the shed near the field for some gardening equipment when a rancher walked past, glancing at us and mumbling something under his breath.

"Pardon?" I said, pausing and looking to him with a quirked brow.

"You heard me," he retorted defensively, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I looked back down, continuing my search. I didn't know what he'd said, but maybe it was for the best.

"You're just a damn murderer," he muttered again, about to leave, but this time I heard and grew offended.

"Excuse you?" I asked with surprise, straightening up to glare at him. "I didn't murder anyone."

The rancher chuckled dryly. "Whatever you say, Indian."

Trying to contain my irritation, I said, "You can't just come over here and act like an ass. If you've got a problem, say it."

He scoffed, rolling his eyes, but before he could speak, Alicia walked out the shed from behind me and looked between us.

"What's going on?" she asked calmly, though judging from the disapproving stare she was sending the rancher, she already knew. "Do you have something to share, Andy?"

"A few of us are just wondering why you're spending your time with a murderer, Alicia," he snapped bitterly.

I raised my eyebrows, trying so hard not to punch him. "Fuck you!"

"Listen, you bitch–"

"Andy!" Alicia shouted, startling us both. "You can't just–"

"She killed the Trimbols!" Andy yelled. "Her and her people! How do you think Gretchen would feel to see you breaking bread with the enemy? Huh?!"

I scrunched my face together, confused. Alicia said the same thing, back when we were negotiating the parley. Why did everyone here believe it was us who killed the Trimbols?

"It wasn't her, now leave it," Alicia warned with narrowed eyes.

Andy scoffed, shaking his head. "Whatever."

Deciding this wasn't worth half the effort I was giving it, I was going to let Andy walk away and leave it at that – in my experience, people like him couldn't be reasoned with. But Alicia didn't seem to agree, as she spoke up before he could leave.

"Hey," she called to him.

Andy rolled his eyes. "What?"

She crossed her arms sternly. "We all work together now. The past is the past, and this sort of behaviour isn't acceptable anymore. Now apologise."

I sighed inwardly, not liking where this was going.

Andy pointed a finger at me with disgust. "To her?"

Alicia clenched her jaw. "Yes, to Y/N."

Licking my lips awkwardly, I leaned towards Alicia slightly, mumbling, "Alicia, just leave it–"

"No," she said firmly, before nodding to Andy. "Now apologise." When he stayed flabbergasted, like the thought of apologising to me was absurd, Alicia continued, "Without Y/N, we wouldn't have vegetables. We wouldn't have ingredients to cook food with. It all comes full circle, buddy, we work together, now apologise. I'm not asking again."

I pressed my lips together, standing uncomfortably as Andy exchanged looks with Alicia before looking to me, barely.

"Sorry," he forced out, and I didn't know what to do other than stare at the ground.

Once he left, I released a breath and the discomfort dispersed.

"Alicia, you didn't need to do that," I told her as nicely as I could.

She looked to me with assurance. "Yeah, I did. They shouldn't treat you like that."

Sighing, I tried to lighten the mood. "That was pretty polite compared to most encounters I've had."

She frowned, not taking much from my attempt at a joke, and her eyes grew serious. "We're one. There's no them or us. It's all of us now."

Seeing how passionate she was about this all working, admittedly, warmed my heart. I guess I hadn't really noticed how much she wanted this to work until now, especially because she defended me when she didn't need to. I knew she was different to the others from the way she spoke, but sometimes actions spoke louder than words. It was sweet of her.

"Thank you," I said softly.

She offered me a small smile, squeezing my shoulder before returning inside the shed to find the tools.

I was just about to pick up my sandwich and take a bite when I saw my father approaching the bench I was sat at, a smile on his face.

"You alright?" I asked, before digging into my lunch and noticing the absence of his own. "Not hungry?"

He took a seat opposite me, hands resting atop the wood. "I already ate. Just came to check in. See how you were. We haven't talked in a while."

I hummed in agreement, setting down my sandwich. "Yeah, it's been a busy one lately, hasn't it? With the move and settling in. I'm good though."

"Nobody's been giving you any trouble, right?" he asked casually, but I could see the hint of fatherly concern in his eyes. "I know some of the tribe have been struggling."

I shrugged, offering a small smile. "Nothing I can't handle, dad. Besides, I think working alongside Alicia has made it easier for the ranchers to see that we don't have to be enemies, y'know?"

He nodded. "Yes, I saw you've been making an effort with the Clark girl... I appreciate it."

"It wasn't intentional, but she wants the same things as us," I commented, before taking a sip of my juice.

"You're friends," he noticed, eyeing me curiously.

I hesitated, never really giving it much thought. Alicia and I had been spending a lot of time together over the past few weeks, but I'd never put a label on it. Though, I suppose getting to know her more and actually getting along has brought us closer together, a friendship of sorts forming.

"I suppose we are, yeah," I agreed, a little surprised myself.

"That's good," he said with a smile, "just... be careful, yeah? Don't get too close to her."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Lowering his voice slightly, he answered, "Just don't get too attached to her. Don't forget who she is. Who they all are. What we have here is great, but I'll still worry for you. I don't want you getting hurt."

"Dad, I...," I started, but struggled to find the words. I understood his concern, but it seemed futile given the circumstances. "You're right. What we have is great, and that's because of this partnership we have with them. We kind of have to trust them for this to work."

He sighed quietly, as if I still didn't get it, but nodded. "I know. You know I'll always worry though."

I rested my hand on his, squeezing it gently. "Look, I'll be careful. I promise. But I don't think anything is concerning right now. She's good."

He put his other hand on mine, nodding in agreement, and then we both let go when we noticed Alicia approaching the table, smiling awkwardly.

"Sorry, am I interrupting something?" she asked, hovering with her lunch tray. "I can come back and–"

"No, it's fine, we were just talking," my dad interrupted with a small smile, before standing up. "I'll leave you ladies to it."

Alicia nodded at him as I gave him a reassuring glance when he walked away.

"Everything okay?" she asked as she sat before me, the two of us having planned to eat lunch together.

"All good," I reassured her, before nodding to her tray. "So, what d'you get?"

She began to smile as she used her fork to point. "Trying out this beef lasagne which looked good. How about you?" Before I could answer, she pulled a face when she saw my plate. "Oh, c'mon, a sandwich again? Don't you ever get sick of eating the same thing for lunch?"

I chuckled at her look of disgust. "You can't beat a classic, what can I say?"

"Oh," she scoffed, and I tried not to laugh.

Okay, so yeah, maybe we were friends. But that came out of a well-placed mutual agreement to keep the peace, so it was a friendship well earned.

My friendship with Alicia only continued to grow as time went on, so much, in fact, that I didn't see it coming when I started to like her as much more than a friend.

A few of us were setting up a bonfire one evening, burning the rubbish we'd collated over the past few weeks. Crazy Dog – a member of our tribe – Ofelia and I were managing it as everyone came to dispose of their things and, without meaning to, it became a little getaway from the ranch as people hung around for a change of scenery. As I sat on the sidelines on a foldable chair, I spotted Alicia approaching me, taking a seat next to me.

"So, this is where you've been all evening," she commented lightheartedly. "Some of the others said, but I was like 'no, Y/N wouldn't have a bonfire and not invite me'.”

"Alicia, it's not like that," I started, but stopped when she was smiling with amusement. "God, you're annoying."

She laughed. "I'm kidding. How's it going anyway?"

I sighed, leaning back in my chair. "Not so bad. We've got rid of all that old packaging from the pantry. Also been able to get rid of some rubbish lying around. Plus I think it's making everyone relax a little."

She nodded, leaning back too. A silence fell upon us as we merely watched the bonfire crackle in the dusk-lit sky. It was peaceful, a nice change of association with fire compared to the horrible fires we'd both experienced in the past, with all the ranch-reservation threats.

"The last time I saw a bonfire like this was when I was a kid," she suddenly spoke, earning my attention. "I went camping with my family and my dad made something just like this."

"Sounds fun," I said, eyes fixed on her profile.

She had a distant look in her eyes, the firelight brightening up her face. "Yeah, it was. I had Nick and my parents all to myself. It was actually terrible considering none of us knew how to camp. But my dad really wanted it to work, so despite the fact that our tent fell on us in the middle of the night, or that he almost set his eyebrows on fire trying to keep the bonfire alight, it was really fun."

I chuckled as she reminisced, a soft smile tugging at her lips. That was when I noticed how pretty she was when she wasn't so work-focused all the time. Relaxed, no concerns, just a good old childhood memory to distract her. The curve of her jaw, the laugh lines around her lips, the vibrancy of her green eyes... how hadn't I noticed sooner?

"Have you ever been camping?" she asked, turning to look at me and pulling me from my state of admiration.

I cleared my throat, hoping she didn't feel my betraying eyes. "I– yeah. All the time. My dad loves nature and so do I. We're pretty skilled that way and he taught me all I know about surviving out here."

She smiled, looking back to the fire.

"It's funny, since the thought of camping for fun seems pointless now," I realised. "Having a home is a luxury now."

"True," she agreed, before grabbing her backpack from beside her. "Though, if you think that, then maybe now is a bad time to tell you that I saw the fire and thought roasting hot dogs for fun would be a good call."

I blinked, looking to her. "You what?"

Smiling sheepishly, she pulled out a small plastic baggy filled with hot dogs and wooden skewers. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw it, wondering how long it had taken her to put that together considering we'd only had the fire going for about half an hour.

"We definitely have to roast these," I gave in instantly, unable to stop smiling from how cute she was.

In no time, we had our skewers set up, hot dogs fixed on the end and the two of us attempting to cook them in the fire. Hers finished cooking first and she pulled it out, taking a bite off the end.

"Mmm, that's good," she said contently, before holding it towards me. "Here, try it."

Carefully, I blew on the hot dog before taking a bite, though it still burnt my mouth a little and I tried to cool it down quickly by taking deep breaths.

"You made it look less hot!" I told her as she began to laugh at my expression.

"Shit, your hot dog!" she suddenly exclaimed, before grabbing my hand and pulling my own skewer from the fire. We both blew on it repeatedly, but it was a goner, burnt to a crisp and smoking nonstop.

"This is your fault," I told her jokingly. "If you hadn't distracted me, I wouldn't have burnt it."

She was grinning as she apologised. "I'm sorry. C'mon, I've got plenty more."

As she helped me get rid of the burnt hot dog and make up a new skewer, a suppressed smile was on her face and I couldn't tear my gaze from how happy she looked right now. We hadn't had many reasons to let go lately, but this was refreshing. And for the first time, I realised that, shit, I might have actually liked her. Like that.

I had hoped it was a fluke and I was just caught up in the moment, but the more time I spent with Alicia after that evening, the more butterflies I got around her and the more I couldn't stop checking her out in a way that friends shouldn't. And that's what terrified me.

I was in denial, definitely, because liking her wasn't possible. I just couldn't. It wasn't right, not with so much at stake, not with our friendship on the line. I enjoyed having her in my life – gaining her when I'd already lost so much. But liking her and losing her when she meant so much to me would surely kill me. No, I couldn't put my feelings at risk like that. It was just easier to not get attached.

Though, it didn't help that my father was starting to warm up to her and the idea of us being friends. He brought it up one evening, as we were preparing to go to sleep.

"Things are really starting to get better around here, don't you think?" he was saying casually.

"Yeah, it's good to see," I agreed as I puffed up my pillows.

"Y'know, that's partially down to you," he said with a smile. "Well, you and Alicia. The ranchers and our people, seeing you both together... you really proved that we can work together."

I breathed out, feeling that fuzzy feeling I always did whenever Alicia was mentioned. "Yeah, I suppose it helped."

"Between me and you," he continued as he pulled back his duvet, "I think the Clarks are the best thing to happen to this place since Otto took over."

I raised my brows with surprise, pausing. "You said not to trust them."

He shrugged. "I know, but now that we've been working together these past few months, I've noticed that they're different. They're fair, something the Ottos weren't. Madison and her family only want peace. Maybe it's not a bad thing."

I hummed quietly, glad that he was finally seeing that they weren't bad people, but also conflicted because of my feelings for Alicia. His trust in them wasn't helping with my feelings.

"What's wrong?" he noticed, meeting my eyes. "You and Alicia fall out or something? You seemed pretty close."

I forced a smile, shaking my head. "No, nothing like that. Sorry, I was just thinking."

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder comfortingly. "Well, I've told you many times that you think too much."

I rolled my eyes playfully as he chuckled and kissed my hairline.

"Goodnight, Y/N."

"Goodnight, dad."

Things were going too good at the ranch, so good in fact that it almost felt comical when I realised how time had flown by and what day it was exactly. It was the anniversary of my mother's death, exactly nine years since she'd died.

It was never a good day for me, for obvious reasons, but especially because of how my father never seemed to grieve with me, but alone. I understood it could be a hard time for him too, but he made it even harder when he wouldn't talk about it.

That morning after breakfast, I caught him before he could shoot off to talk strategy with Madison and Jake.

"What is it, dear?" he asked, pausing.

"I was planning to go back to the reservation today," I told him calmly. "Get some belongings, mainly photos of mum. I wanted to ask if you wanted to come with me."

At the mention of mum, his expression fell. "I don't think I'll have time today. But you can go on ahead."

I tried not to feel hurt at his response, instead reminding him, "You know today is her–"

"I know," he cut me off instantly, avoiding my eyes.

I frowned, studying his face and how he couldn't even look at me. "So, that's it? That's all you have to say?"

Sighing quietly, he glanced at me. "You go back and do what you need to do today. I'm doing what I need, okay?"

And that was it. He wouldn't hear any more as he turned on his heel and left, leaving me hollow and deflated. I shouldn't have expected any different, not since he never wanted to talk about her all these years. But I thought it might be different, considering this was the first anniversary in the middle of a literal zombie apocalypse.

Never mind though. If he didn't want to remember her today with me, then he didn't need to. I was still planning to go back to the reservation for the day.

So, with all the determination I could muster, I went back to my cabin and began to pack my rucksack with enough things to get me by on the hike back. It would have been easier to take a truck, but I wanted the time outside to think, plus a change of scenery would be nice. As I was finishing up packing the last few things, a knock on my cabin door made me look up. I hoped it was my dad, maybe changing his mind, but then Alicia walked in and my hope dwindled.

"Just where Walker said you'd be," she said lightheartedly, smile on her face. "And I see you're packing a bag. Planning to take a little trip?"

She helped herself to a seat beside me on the bed, eyeing the contents of my bag that she could see. Usually I would feel nervous and elated to be around her – the terrible symptoms of a crush an' all – but today wasn't a regular day, and the last thing I wanted was to bring her mood down with mine.

"Just heading to the reservation to pick up a few things," I told her, tightening the top of my bag close.

"Were you planning to leave without saying goodbye or...?"

I looked up at her, seeing the amusement in her eyes as she awaited my answer.

"It was gonna be one day," I tried to defend, but she rolled her eyes playfully.

"Wow. Nice to know you care."

"Alicia–"

"It's okay anyway, because I'm coming with you," she said decisively.

I paused, raising an eyebrow. "You're what?"

Her twinkling eyes met mine. "I'm coming with you." When I didn't react, she continued, "D'you really think I'm letting you go alone? There may be no more war with the ranch, but infected still exist. You can't just go alone."

"I'm fine to go alone, I know the route," I assured her, standing up. "I appreciate your offer, but really, it's okay."

She stood up too, not seeming to get the hint. "Partners, remember? I'm coming."

I sighed, not in the mindset to deal with her stubbornness right now. And when I looked over at her, somewhat ready to tell her no, she was watching me with a focused stare and slight hopeful expression, and I just couldn't seem to deny her, even in my solemn state.

"Fuck," I muttered. "Fine. But hurry up. I'm leaving in ten."

Her smile widened as she nodded in agreement. "Ten minutes. See you by the gate."

And just like that, I found myself roped into a hike back to the reservation with Alicia by my side.

It was hot out, the sun beating down on us both, but that didn't knock Alicia's high spirits in the slightest. She was too cheerful for my liking, though maybe she was always like that and I was just too stuck in thought to deal with it today.

"So, what's so important that we're heading back?" she asked curiously.

"Just some belongings," I half-lied. "Some stuff I didn't bring when we first moved into the ranch because I wasn't sure if we would stay long enough. But we have now and I'd like to have them with me."

She hummed in acknowledgement. "Right."

Thankfully, she didn't question it any further and I was glad because it meant I wouldn't have to explain about the real reason I was here. It wasn't that I didn't trust her enough to share, but having being forced to keep it to myself all these years because of my dad's reluctance to talk about it meant sharing wasn't so easy for me. It was just easier to keep quiet.

Aside from the few ramblings Alicia went on about the latest in the ranch, from the new ways everyone was bonding to how annoying her brother was being, it was a pretty quiet walk and I was glad. Because of all her talking, it meant I could just listen and give the bare minimum in effort. By the time we reached the reservation, it was lunch time.

"How about you go find us some food and I'll drop our bags off upstairs," I told Alicia when we entered the diner. "I can pack my things too."

She nodded, giving me her bag, before trailing off to the kitchen to see what she could find. Some of our people still remained living here, so there'd be someone to help her out, giving me the perfect chance to pack some of my things.

I dropped Alicia's bag in my old room and mine in my dad's, knowing we'd be sleeping over tonight, and then grabbed some extra clothing, books and, most importantly, family photos. There was one particular photo of my mum and I that I had always adored. She was smiling down at me, the two of us kneeling down in the garden and me attempting to plant with her when really I was just making a mess. It always brought a smile to my lips because I remembered exactly when it was taken, and she looked so young, so beautiful, just how I remembered her.

Today of all days was my heart aching for her, but I refused to let myself get so emotional right now. There was no time, not with so much going on, and not with Alicia waiting for me downstairs. So, I dropped my things in my dad's room and returned to Alicia to have some lunch.

The rest of our day there was spent checking in on the others to see how they were doing and also helping out where we could, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't just wanna sulk in my room. It was harder than I thought, especially given the circumstances, and I was glad when evening fell and Alicia finally said her goodnight to me, leaving me alone.

I stayed in my dad's room with the intention of going to sleep, but then I found myself going through the family photos I'd collected. Ones of all three of us, just my parents, my mum and I... I looked so young in them and I hated that I wanted to know what my mum would have looked like if she'd aged with me. What would she be doing now if she were here? Perhaps staying with us at the ranch? Gardening with me during the day? Putting my dad at ease?

She was taken too soon. And though nine years had passed, it still felt like yesterday when I'd lost her. All I wanted was to talk about it, to spill out my feelings to my father and have him do the same, to fucking acknowledge my mother's existence. But he refused. And I'd never felt so alone because of it.

Suddenly, the room was getting too stuffy for my liking, though I suppose that was down to my teary eyes and wet cheeks. Pulling my shoes and jacket on, I grabbed the picture of my mum and I before sneaking out, settling behind the diner in the quiet of the night, where I could bask in the cool breeze and get my shit together.

Of course, the longer I stayed sat there, staring down at the smiling face of my mother, the harder everything got. My heart was bursting with pain and I just wanted her back. Even for a second, a simple hug. Why couldn't I have that? Why did I have to lose her for good?

I'd learnt to keep my feelings to myself, courtesy of my father's emotional unavailability, which meant I could cry without even making a sound. It was too quiet, but the hot tears were reminding me of the pain I felt, and I didn't know what to do. One day a year could I truly allow myself to feel this way – but this year was the worst one yet for some reason.

I wasn't sure how long I sat on the bench outside, sobbing quietly to myself, but I couldn't forget the panic and embarrassment that washed over me when I heard the back door of the diner opening. My cries ceased and I wiped my face subtly as a voice spoke up.

"Y/N?"

It was Alicia.

Clearing my throat, I avoided looking her way and was grateful for the shield of the dark. "Yeah? What are you doing up? Did I wake you?"

I heard her footsteps approaching and then she sat beside me, looking over at me.

"I knew you left, but you took a while to come back so I thought I'd come check on you," she admitted. "Look, you've been acting distant today and I knew something was up. So, I asked around and they told me that..." She paused, and I was holding my breath. "I know it's the anniversary of your mum's death. I don't want to leave you out here. I'm worried."

I exhaled shakily, trying not to let my emotions get the better of me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. Honestly, I'm fine. You can go back in."

"Y/N–"

"Please, Alicia, go back in," I pleaded, because I wasn't sure how long I could sit there and hold everything together.

"I'm sorry, but I can't in good faith just leave you out here alone," she said stubbornly. "It's okay not to be okay."

I frowned, hot tears pooling at my eyelids. "Alicia, please, I..."

I swallowed hard, but the tears were starting to roll down my cheeks, and then all she had to do was put her arm around my shoulders and I found I couldn't quite hold it together anymore. In an embarrassing, soggy mess, I broke down in her shoulder, hating that she had to console me and see me in such a vulnerable state. This was the opposite of what I wanted, but at the same time, being able to let it out on someone that wasn't myself felt so damn good.

She didn't rush me as she held me close, rubbing circles on my back and letting me soak her shirt with my tears. I wasn't so sure I deserved this, but it was hard to say no when she felt so warm, so comforting.

It didn't take long for my embarrassingly quiet sobs to stop, and then the realisation of how close I was and how many boundaries I'd crossed came to mind and I immediately moved back, startling her.

"I am so sorry," I blurted out, voice hoarse and eyes looking anywhere but at her. "I didn't mean to–"

"You don't need to apologise," she interrupted, stopping my hands from furiously wiping at my face. "Hey, don't be sorry."

I swallowed hard when she used her thumb to wipe my tears away, skin burning where she made contact. Her eyes found mine, concerned and patient. Why did she have to be here?

"I know it's a lot to deal with, but I just– it's hard to deal with it alone," she said considerately, pushing my hair behind my ear before dropping her hands to hold mine. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I let go of her hands, despite enjoying the warmth, and covered my mouth as I looked away.

"Y/N?" she tried again, making me close my eyes, as if that would make it all better. "Why isn't your dad here?"

I shook my head slowly. "He doesn't want to talk about it. He never does. The past nine years and he says nothing. I'm just– I'm so fucking tired of it. But it is what it is."

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "You can talk to me if you want."

I bent down, putting my head in my hands and letting out a sigh. It was starting to get cold and I involuntarily shivered, tugging my jacket closer around me, and then I felt a hand on my back, rubbing circles.

"Let's go inside," she suggested. "You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to, but you can't stay out here."

"Alicia–" I started, about to protest, but she stood up and held out her hand.

"Let me help you," she said, and I was touched that she cared this much. It would have been so easy for her to pretend she hadn't known a thing. I hadn't had someone like that in my life in a long time.

I nodded, accepting her hand and letting her lead me back inside and up to my bedroom. It was instantly much warmer, and once I lost my jacket and shoes, she made me get in bed, jumping in beside me and pulling the duvet around us both. We sat there in the dark, the only light coming from a spotlight outside and shining through the curtains.

"I didn't think this would happen," I said after being unable to sit in the silence for so long. "If I did, I wouldn't have let you come."

"I'm glad I did, otherwise you would've been alone tonight," she said like it wasn't a big deal. Shifting so she was sat slightly on her side, looking at me, she continued, "You don't talk about your mum. Is it because your dad doesn't?"

I held the edge of the duvet, fingers playing with it mindlessly. "Dad doesn't like to mention it. So, I guess I don't either. But her anniversary comes and I hope he'll change his mind. He doesn't."

I didn't know why I was oversharing so much, but it felt a relief as I did, and Alicia didn't seem to mind. I'd definitely regret it in the morning, but for now, under the guise of the late night, it was easy to open up.

"You can talk about her with me if you'd like," she offered generously.

I glanced over at her, warmed by her softened gaze, the light from outside making the green in her eyes look golden. "I don't even know what to say, Alicia. I just miss her."

She tilted her head thoughtfully. "Well... what was she like?"

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, looking away as I tried to find something to say. I was never at a loss for words about my mother, but actually vocalising them was a different story. All these years keeping her to myself made it difficult.

"She was a lovely woman," I started, though it didn't feel like enough. "Kind. Funny. She... she was my favourite person. She's the reason I love gardening so much."

I paused, hand reaching for the photograph I'd placed on the bedside table before getting in bed. Reluctantly, I held it out to Alicia, who smiled tenderly before taking and looking at it.

"She used to spend a lot of time in the garden like that," I explained, a sad smile appearing on my lips as I looked at the photo again. "She let me help her whenever I asked."

"That sounds fun," Alicia said, eyes flickering from the photo to me. "She's beautiful, Y/N. You look just like her."

I nodded, eyes glued to the photograph. "She was."

"Nine years ago," Alicia recalled what I'd said earlier. "What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

My smile faded as I accepted the photo back from her. "A drunk driver got her. She was driving to pick me up from school. He died, too."

Alicia began to frown. "I'm so sorry. That couldn't have been easy for you."

I shrugged, pressing the photo to the duvet and sighing.

"He should talk about her with you," she said apologetically. "It's the only way to keep her alive."

"I know it hurts him to mention her," I tried to defend my dad, knowing he wasn't doing it out of spite. "Sometimes it's easier to keep quiet."

"Well, people deal with grief differently," she said. "He doesn't have to talk about her, but he shouldn't stop you from doing so."

I knew she was right, affirming what I already believed, but it wouldn't change anything.

"If you ever want to talk about her and feel like you can't, I'm here," she added, resting a hand on mine. "Seriously, any time."

I looked to her, immediately put at ease by the comforting expression she wore. "I'll try. Thank you, Alicia. For being here." 

"Always," she promised, barely a whisper, before pulling me close to her side to hug me, and this time I melted into her.

[aroacesetitoff]

i want to make so many AU's for the infinights but i have so little time. Anyways heres what i got

Prince & the Pirate-Bart is the Captain of the Jebediah w/ Gum Gum & Kyborg on his crew and they sail up to the Witherveins and run into a runaway prince (Mudd). And at first Bart's like "ey guess we're kidnapping a prince, im sure they have lots of ransom money" and then Mudd's like "you guys wanna take ma far away from this place? Fuck yeah lets get outta here!" and Bart's like "well i cant send this guy back now" and Mudd joins the crew

Band AU-the Infinights (OG) were a really popular band until Luz broke them up and made the Eveguard (currently just her & Brink bc i forgot who else was there). Spectril's on drums (daggers = drum sticks), Grislee is on bass (hammer = bass), Elleve's a vocalist/maybe pianist, Slique's on guitar but can play multiple instruments, and Luz was lead guitar. Shit went down and Dr. Ahem/Prattle started looking for a new band and they got the Interns. Bart's a musical prodigy who up until that point never learned how to read sheet music, Gum Gum's on drums, Kyborg's on guitar, and Mudd's on bass. Mudd also knows piano (former rich kid) and the only one who knows how to read sheet music.

Class Swap-doesn't really count as an AU? I just wanted to give Kyborg a violin. But:

Bart-fighter/rogue multiclass. Leans into the pirate aesthetic more and also has a gun

Gum Gum-druid (Circle of the Stars maybe)

Kyborg-bard (Circle of Valor) uses a violin bc you know they both have bows

Mudd-barbarian (Path of the Totem Warrior)

Plotwise Bart & Gum Gum are the same, but maybe Kyborg survived and also made it down to Ürbloom and didnt get so uberly traumatized, while Mudd ran away very early and has just been surviving in the Witherveins (Seuss having convinced him to leave and his parents that he was dead)

Edit-one more AU

Internship AU-Luz doesn't uhhhhh fucking kidnap all the OGs and their legit heroes. Dr. Ahem still asks for interns and the boys still show up but they actually get to meet them instead of having to save them and fight Luz. Theres a running joke that Bart's Ostin's illegitimate son

[benny-the-spaceman]

who wants my overanalysis of metalbeard's ship? im posting it either way here goes 👍

🤓☝️i feel like nerding out more about the sea cow's design because it's actually really special/unique compared to other lego ship designs and all of it was intentional which makes it even cooler. it's design also tells a LOT about metalbeard, and by god do i have a lot to say on that too. first off, the original ship was probably stolen, which i say mostly because that ship is clearly some kind of greatly exaggerated carrack, and i severely doubt that metalbeard just decided to make a european cargo ship for funsies. it's possssssible that it's a galleon but i rly dont think so since it has a shape more characteristic of a carrack and the masts are rigged like a carrack's masts. anyways this ship, even though it's def stolen, was also clearly HEAVILY MODIFIED! Although the back of carracks are generally larger, the ass of this ship is fucking HUGE, like big big, even for a carrack. also compared to its height, the seacow isnt very long, which is also odd for this kinda ship. So my best guess about the seacows origins are that metalbeard and his crew pillaged some merchant who visited pirates cove, stole the ship, and then modified it to their liking. the seacow (specifically the masts) also tells us about a potential age range for metalbeard! the rigging of the masts is most similar to that of later carracks, with the typical square rigging of the foremast and mainmast, and the lateen rigging of the mizzenmast (there's also the sails on the flagstaff but that's not typical of rly any ship of this time period so im ignoring them). carracks themselves were around mostly in the 14th and 15th centuries, however this type of mast rigging is more specific and standardized to later carracks, typically 15th century carracks. from this, you can probably estimate that metalbeard was born sometime during the 15th century, meaning either pirates cove is rly fucking behind time wise or metalbeard is old old (pick your poison).

ok now moving on to specific design choices of the seacow itself, one of my favorites is how elegant she looks. sure, ships are typically pretty elegant, big woop, but what rly strikes me is how much it looks like an *instrument* rather than just a normal ship. The golds and silvers, the ships curvature, the giant fuckass steam pipe in the middle, it's all so majestic and could easily pass as an artpiece over just being a regular ship. also, unsurprisingly, she is *modernized*. steam pipes and turbines like the ones on the seacow arent typical of any ship of the time period she's from (big shock), and it rly goes to show how much maintenance and upgrading metalbeard does to the seacow. she stills keeps the beauty of wooden 15th century ships, but she's spiffed out with more 20th century equipment (and flight equipment), making her a real beauty. anyways tldr, metalbeard takes damn good care of that ship, he's probably really old, and he prolly beat up some guy and stole their boat which is kinda funny

[classicschronicles]

Hi lovelies,

I feel like I’ve just returned from ‘buying the milk’. I’m sorry I disappeared for *checks notes* 11 months, but it’s been a hectic year. I feel like if I get into it I’ll sound like an AO3 author, so here are some very quick highlights- I have just finished my first year studying Classics at university, I qualified as a fitness instructor (which is a side quest nobody asked for), I’ve become a theatre kid again, and I finally watched Game of Thrones. Studying Classics at uni is basically telling everyone that you study Classics at uni and then getting one of two reactions- “What is that? What kind of job are you going to et with that?”. To which I have no response, because honestly I’m not sure. Or the ever famous- “Oh like The Secret History?”. To which I cry inside because it is nothing like The Secret History. It is actually reading so much Thucydides that he becomes your sleep paralysis demon, and having to translate so much Caesar and Cicero that your daydreams become wishing you were in the Theatre of Pompey on March 15th 44 BC… for no particular reason. And also crying at 3am whilst you try to delude yourself into thinking that this is so dark academia core (spoiler- it’s not). All that being said- this has actually been one of the best years of my life and I am so happy I get to study what I love.

Anyways, I feel like we’re missing the most important part- and that is of course Game of Thrones. Guys. I have a crush on Jaime Lannister. HEAR ME OUT! I can fix him! I promise. I just need one chance. But also, I would fight him because why did he do my girl Brienne like that. Anyone who makes her cry can fight me fr. You know what made me cry though- Shireen Baratheon. What the fuck was that. And Ser Davaos’ finding out and his whole “I loved that girl like she was my own”. BAWLED. Anyways, it might surprise you to know that her death was actually based on a very famous greek myth- the myth of Iphigenia. So that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

Iphigenia’s story finds its beginnings in another myth entirely- the myth of Agamemnon and the Deer. Quick fun fact- the movie ‘Killing of A Sacred Deer’ is actually based loosely on this. The story goes that Agamemnon, out hunting one day, killed a deer belonging to the Goddess Artemis. This angered Artemis, not least because the deer was pregnant and Agamemnon’s little hunting accident killed both the mother and the baby.

Fast forward to some time later, Agamemnon launches a thousand ships to save his sister-in-law Helen from the Trojans at the behest of his brother Menelaus, and also the whole blood oath situation. The Spartans and the Mycenaeans make camp at the island of Aulis whilst they wait for the rest of the fleet to arrive, only to find that when they are ready to set sail once more, they cannot leave the island. There is not wind to push their ships, the air hot and heavy and remarkably still. This goes on for quite some time. Eventually Agamemnon consults the priest Calchas who tells him that the Gods (Artemis) are angry with him and demand a sacrifice. More specifically, the sacrifice of a virgin. This is also where some accounts differ- some claim that it could be any female virgin, some say that it had to be Agamemnon’s eldest daughter. In all honesty, I think the latter is probably more accurate because of the level of hesitation he shows before he makes his final decision. If he could sacrifice any virgin I don’t really think he would care.

Anyways, he obviously cant just write to his wife and say “hey babe can you please ship our eldest daughter over, I want to sacrifice her xoxo”. So he instead he comes out with an altogether more devious plan, and that is to tell his wife that the Prince Achilles wishes to marry Iphigenia before they sail for Troy. Both Iphigenia and Clytemnestra are of course overjoyed that she should marry ‘the best of the Greeks’ and she comes to Aulis where the army wait for her.

This is where it starts to break my heart a bit. On the morning of Iphigenia’s wedding day, Clytemnestra dresses her daughter and prepares her. She, of course, does not know that she is preparing her child for death. Her fathers men come to her tent and escort her and her mother to the alter. However, she never gets to say her vows because as soon as she steps onto the platform, they cut her throat and spill her blood as an offering to Artemis. Her mother is of course beside herself with shock and grief, but her husband does little to comfort her, telling her only that Artemis is appeased, and with the return of the wind he is leaving for Troy.

Euripides’ Iphigenia at Aulis, differs from this account and tells the story that on the morning of her supposed wedding, Iphigenia was aware of her fathers plan to sacrifice her and accepts with stoicism and all the bravery of a child put in an impossible position. He writes the following, heartbreaking, lines:

Iphigenia- “If only I could sing like Orpheus, father! Orpheus, who could charm even the heartless rocks into following him! If I could use such a voice and have everyone charmed, have them convinced to agree with me and follow me, then I would use that voice. But I have no such skill. The only voice I have, father, my only skill, is in my tears and, here, father, I’m giving them to you! I’m giving you my tears! I’m giving you all I have! She leans before him and embraces his knees Here, father, here is the body of a suppliant! Here is the body that your wife has given birth to. I wrap its limbs around your knees and beg you: Please father, do not cut off my life short. Let me enjoy the sweet light of day and do not force me to enter the world beneath the earth. I’m your first one, father! The first one to call you father, the first one you called daughter. Me, father! I was the first to play on your knees, the first one of your children to enjoy your love and the first one to give you a child’s love. Remember, father? You used to ask me, “I wonder, my darling, will I get to see you married one day, married and settled happily in your husband’s home, your life ever blossoming, making me proud of you?” And I’d touch your chin, my father, hang from your beard, father, like I’m doing now and say, “and what about you, father, will I get to see you, father, an old man, visiting me at my house, ready for me to repay you for your hard work in raising me?” No, you don’t remember these words, father. I do but you don’t! You’ve forgotten them and so, now, you want to kill me. Please, father! Please, in the name of Pelops and of Atreus who is your father, I beg you! Please don’t do it! And I beg you also for my mother’s sake, the woman who laboured to bring me to life, the woman who is being tortured even now. I beg you, father! What does my life have to do with the marriage of Paris and Helen father? Why has their marriage brought about my death, father? Agamemnon turns away. She continues despondently. Come, then, father, turn to me and give me a final kiss. A kiss to remember you by in the underworld, since my words have not convinced you. Agamemnon does not move. She goes over to her mother and takes baby Orestes in her arms. She swings him, sadly, gently back and forth and leans over him as she speaks to him What a weak little helper you are, my tiny brother! Won’t you cry with me, Orestes? Come on, won’t you beg your father not to kill your big sister? Come on, Orestes, even babies know when there’s trouble around! Ha! See, father? Orestes is begging you, too! Begging you by his silence. Do you not care about me any more? Spare my young life, father. Spare me! Here! Look here, father! Here are the two of us, one’s a baby, the other a grown up girl, a brother and a sister, both your children, begging you, by your beard, pleading with you… She turns and looks sadly around her, then up at the sun. That! Up there is my final argument. That light, this light all around us, will cut all other arguments to pieces. This light is the sweetest thing that can fill the eyes! The world beneath the earth is a world of nothing. Only fools would pray to go down there. I’d rather live a life full of misery than die a hero’s death!

If that doesn’t make you cry I don’t know what will. And then to top it off he follows it up 200 lines later this this tear jerker:

“C- What report shall I give to your sisters?

I-Do not dress them either in black garments.

C-Is there any word of love from you I should give the girls?

I-Bid them farewell; and make sure you bring up Orestes as a man!

C-You look at him for the last time- hold him tight!

I-(holding Orestes close): Darling boy, you helped you dear sister as much as you could!

…

I-Who will come to take me there before they drag me by the hair?

C-I will be at your side…

I-No, not you- that would not be right!

C-…holding on to your clothes!

I-Mother, oblige me in this: stay here! This is the nobler course for me and for you. Let one of my father’s attendants here escort to Artemis’ meadow where I shall be sacrificed.

(Iphigenia begins to move away from a crying Clytemnestra)

C-O my child, are you going?

I-Yes, and never shall I come back.

C-You will leave your mother?

I-Yes, as you see, we do not deserve this.

C-Wait- don’t abandon me!

I-I forbid you to shed tears. (C sinks to the ground)”.

In every version you read, however, sacrificing his daughter is not a choice that Agamemnon takes lightly. He is torn between sacrificing his daughter and angering his wife- but winning glory for the Greeks, or saving his daughter, but abandoning his men. As a father, he made the wrong choice, but as a king some would argue that he did what was expected of him.

I do like, however, in Euripides’ version the character of Achilles. He is adamant that he will not be privy to the murder of Iphigenia. He tries so very hard to save her and to offer comfort to Clytemnestra and genuinely I think that this might be one of the loveliest most favourable depictions of him.

This myth then gives way to part of the Oresteia trilogy and many many retellings of her Iphigenia’s story- every single one of which always make me want to cry. I can’t explain what it is- I know that the whole point of tragedy is that build up and release of emotion but no tragedy has every made me actually sad other than Iphigenia at Aulis.

Anyways, you can imagine my absolute horror when I watched S5 EP9 and saw Shireen tied to the alter, literally gave myself whiplash with how quickly I tried to look away from the screen.

I would say I hope you enjoyed reading about Iphigenia, but if you did you’re an absolute psycho! The two translations I used are from PoetryInTranlsation and Penguin’s 2005 edition “The Bacchae and Other Plays”. Hopefully, now that I’ve posted again I’ll try and be more regular with it and I hope you all have a lovely lovely week <33

~Z

[akwolfgrl]

Part 22 LFT

Zoro relished in the sound of Sanji's laughter and in having his full attention. His face was flushed from the alcohol, and his eyes almost sparkled as if the stars had fallen into the ocean. The waiter dropped off their meals and left them be.

“Who was your first?” Zoro asked. He needed to know his comptsion, who he was being compared to. He took a bite of his food while he waited for the answer.

“Hmm witch gender?” Sanji asked, taking a bite of his food humming happily. “Here try this,” Sanji held a fork full off food twords of his mouth. Zoro swoloed the food in his mouth before taking a bite. He liked his better the peppercorns where too much. “Form your face. I'm guessing it's not your thing, anyway, my first times. I was fithen and a new bus boy was hired, he had dark skin and dark eyes, a wkied grin, both a tounge and a lip pricing. I love a man with pricing,” Zoro grinned. He at least had that covered. “He would roll his sleeves up, showing off his mucalre arms any chance he got, we would slip away and fool around in a closet anychane we got. When I finally decided to go all the way we got caught in the act,” Zoro watched Sanji shudder, seemed like Sanji had a thing for getting caught. “Then when I was sixteen thire was an older teen, her father was a fishmonger, they would deliver fresh to us every morning. Sometimes she came alone and she would invite me to join her on a boat. She was baituful, with freckles kissing almost every inch of her skin. She had short blue hair with sides shaved. Before you, it was the best sex I've ever had. What about you, Marimo, who was your first?”

“This is a weird story, I was staying the night at an inn, and there was a knock on my door. Thire was a large chest in front of my door and out pop a naked leggy blonde. She only had jewelry on. She stepped out of the chest and started kissing me. Backing me up into the room. The next morning, I found out she was supposed to be a distraction, but they got the wrong room,” Zoro had turned her and her friends in for a pretty nice bounty after he found out. That had been quite the night. He wouldn't mind seeing Sanji like that, naked dripping in shiny pretty things, something he had to tear off.

“So you also like both?” Sanji asked.

“I don't care, I like what I like and what's between your legs doesn't matter to me, like Nami she could switch genders and I still wouldn't be into her, Nami is too much like a little sister. If you were to become a woman, I would still want you,” Zoro explained.

“I prefer women, I love all women and think they are all beautiful. My preferences in men are more specific, I definitely like muscles and scars, and pricing is a huge turn on,” Zoro was checking all the boxes much to his amusement. “Someone who I can protect but is strong enough to protect me in return, an equal. I want someone to fight with, and alongside with, I enjoy our fights and bickering. It's what I know from the Baratie. A bonus if he gets rid of bugs for me. What about you?”

“Some of the same things you mentioned, I vule strength, someone while I can portcet I know doesn't need it. I do have a thing long legs that go on forever and a nice ass. I'm not into someone who will just do everything I tell them to, I like being challenged both in out of bed,” Zoro changed the subject. “Can you finish singing the song from earlier sometime?” Zoro wanted hear him sing again.

“Hmm sure why not,” Sanji smiled at him.

I set upon the sea

To search for phantom sails from tales my mum told me

A ghostly gallion filled with gold

She sails alone

No crew, nor captains guiding hand

Can tame tame the one the sailors call the shadow

Zoro hadn't expected Sanji to start signing but he couldn't give a fuck that they were in public. Not when the man sitting in front of him had such a nice voice, Zoro never knew he had such a thing for voices but he loved the ero cook's voice. Their waiter came back shortly after the song was finished.

“Would you like to order dessert?”

“No thank you, just the check please,” Sanji smiled before paying the bill. “Ready to go mossy?”

“Yes,” Zoro nodded, standing up, glad he didn't need to choke down something sweet, Sanji took his hand once more as they headed on their way.