#Arboretum Cycle

[yeonzzzn]

for astra: park sunghoon

part one of for astra | spotify playlist

pairing: sunghoon x afab!reader word count: 15.1k

synopsis: sunghoon finds himself waking up and repeating the same day over and over again until he finally breaks the cycle and finds himself on a space station called ‘astra 1’. he soon learns he is one of the few who are still alive and that they aren’t alone…

genre: space!au, survival!au, neurologist!sunghoon, neurologist!reader, strangers to lovers, angst, smut.

warnings: swearing, blood, m*rder, guns go pew pew, other life forms, some science talk, unprotected sex, biting, hair pulling, sunghoon fucks reader against the wall, adding more as the story progresses, MINORS DNI!!! (these tags will be on every part even if they do not consist of said tag)

intro | part one | part two

this is part ONE for the series, please read the INTRO first before this one!!💜

Sunghoon found himself in the Arboretum. Nov directed him here saying he’d be able to find you here since it was your last known location. 

And Sunghoon desperately hoped it was still your location. 

Finding you wasn’t the only thing Sunghoon was hoping for. Nov mentioned a greenhouse filled with veggies and other plants that can help with healing and medicines for in case…ya know, he gets mind controlled or something. 

Apparently, there were worse typhon than just the mimic and phantom he encountered earlier. Heeseung named the phantom as well, apparently. The human-like one. It made Sunghoon wonder what was worse than those two. And he assumed since Nov mentioned mind control, then yeah there’s worse than the two he’s already had to deal with. 

The Arboretum was quiet, beautiful, but quiet. Too quiet for Sunghoon’s liking. But still beautiful. The Arboretum was so green. Despite the darkness of space leaking through the domed windows that surrounded the area and making it dark, the green still shined out that darkness. 

The greenhouse sat on the farthest side of the Arboretum to Sunghoon’s right. To his left was an elevator that looked to take you down to the crew quarters or up towards the bridge. Both of which he planned to explore to find Heeseung after you gained his bracelet's location. 

The wrench swung at his side as he walked and his hands clenched tightly to the shotgun, one finger on the trigger. Nov questioned the wrench before Sunghoon left the office, to which he just responded that he was keeping it. How could he abandon the trusty wrench? 

Sunghoon kept walking to the right, eyes wandering over every piece of plant and cobblestone of the path. He passed by a bench where a dead body lay atop of. The dead looked exactly like the ones he found in the lab. He shuddered, quickly looking away and walking faster. Sunghoon couldn’t help but think how busy this station must have been before the outbreak. How alive it could have been. It’s a shameful thing he had no memory of it or the faces of the dead he knew he would encounter. Anger boiled within him, he caused this. 

Following the cobblestone path eventually led him to the greenhouse. Even from the distance he was at, he could see how green and full of life it was. You had to still be alive if the greenhouse looked this good in shape. 

He lowered the shotgun down to his side and reached for the handle, his gloved hand gripping it and twisting. His senses were immediately filled with the smells of all the vegetables and plants. He took a step in, eyes already looking for you. 

But found himself staring down the barrel of a shotgun. 

Well, this is a turn of events. 

“Move and I’ll fucking blow your brains out!” his eyes shift from the barrel to a woman. She wore the exact same spacesuit. He looked for the name tag, seeing Dr. YN/LN printed across it. He found you. 

He shifted his eyes back to your face, taking in your every feature and structure of your face. His heart pulled to you, and he didn’t understand why. He assumed it was because you held the very thing he wanted desperately: the location of Heeseung. 

“Dr. LN?” he asked, “You’re Dr. LN?” 

You lowered the barrel to his throat to get a better look at him, and you’ll be damned, “Guess those tests didn’t actually kill you, Dr. Park.”

Sunghoon raised his brow, “Excuse me?” 

You shot the barrel back to his face, remembering exactly that he was put under test after test. Who knew what Typhon still laid dormant within him, “Are you actually Dr. Park Sunghoon? Or are you under mind control and acting normal?” 

He scoffed, “If I was under mind control you think I’d continue to just let you point your damn fucking shotgun to my face?” 

Yep. That’s Sunghoon alright. You couldn’t miss that attitude anywhere. 

Before you could lower your weapon, Sunghoon had pulled it out of your hand and tossed it. His shotgun barrel is now pointing at you, “Are you under mind control?” 

You laughed, “I don’t think a person under the mind control of a telepath typhon would be able to take care of this greenhouse, ya?” 

He lowered the gun, “I need your help.” 

You scoff this time, walking away from him and regaining your weapon, “You just accused me, pointed a gun to my face, and then asked for help?” 

Sunghoon locked his jaw, “You did it to me first, Doctor.” 

“Oh, please!” You whipped back around to him, “I have a right. Mostly after everything,” You could see how his eyes softened, “They completely wiped your memory, didn’t they?” 

Sunghoon shrugged, “I don’t remember stepping foot on this station or anything that happened here besides the tests they forced me to take and the fact I was drugged every single day as they stripped my mind over and over.” 

You watched how he tightened his grip on his weapon, you felt bad for him, honestly. To have those things done to you over and over and stuck in a loop. You’d be pissed off too. 

Your eyes met his and all it took was those few seconds for his headache to return, dropping down to his knees and clenching the side of his head, and biting down on his lips to keep from screaming. Blood filled his mouth from the bite on his lips and slowly pooled out the side of his mouth. 

“Sunghoon!” Your voice called to him, but he could barely hear you. 

Don’t black out again. Don’t black out again. Please. 

A flashback came to him then, small glimpses of you. Walking past you in the labs at the company building on Earth. Neither of you ever spoke to each other. The last memory he was given was seeing you hold up the first ever neuromod and your bright smile. 

Then his headache faded. He felt your hand on his back and the other on his knee. Sunghoon slowly dropped his hands and then looked up at you, “You created the neuromods. That was used to add human’s and typhon’s psyche into each other's brains. And the mind transfer.” 

You pull your hands off him and stand back to your feet, “Yeah. I did.”  You could tell that was the only piece of information that was returned to him in whatever kind of attack that was to his brain. Probably the effects of the neuromods he injected into himself finally wearing off. The other scientists obviously didn’t make it any easier on him. Not when they were drugging him on top of removing the neuromods and stripping his memory every single time. 

Sunghoon thought back to the neuromod and the three long prongs that stook out of the tip of it and how the body of it looked in the same shape as a handgun. Did he shove those things into his body over and over again?

“So you had just as much of a play on this happening as I did.” 

You had half a mind to kill him right now, “If you came here to remind me of my part in this, then I suggest you get the fuck out of here. I don’t need this.” 

Sunghoon wiped the blood from his mouth and chin, seeing that it wasn’t its normal crimson, but a shade of black mixed in with it. 

“An effect of the neuromods,” You said, glancing away from him and at the walls of the greenhouse, “It wasn’t as perfect as we had hoped.” 

Apparently not. 

Sunghoon stood back to his feet, getting everything back on track, “I need your help.” 

You scoff again, “What more could you want from me, Sunghoon?” Formal names. You’ve been formal with him on and off. 

“We weren’t strangers to each other, were we?” he asked, “You’ve been acting like you hated me since meeting just now.” 

You placed a hand on your hip and smirked at him, “Something like that,” you looked him up and down. He looks good for someone who was missing for three months without any food or water. You thought he either was dead or became one of the typhon. The human body couldn’t have survived that long unless someone was helping to keep him alive. It couldn’t have been November. Nov was destroyed. But knowing Sunghoon, he probably revived the little guy in secret. You shook your head away from the thoughts, “You said you needed my help?” 

Sunghoon nodded, “I heard you had the list of the tracking bracelets.” 

Your lips parted, “I did. Who told you that information?” Before he could answer, you answered for him, “You sneaky bastard, you did revive November.” 

Sunghoon gave you a confused look, clearly not knowing what you meant. But also wondering what all you knew. He needed to keep you close, “What do you mean did have it?” 

“I took the list and the software used to track them after the first outbreak and hid them in my room down in the crew quarters. But considering that I’ve been hiding out here, it’s proof the crew quarters aren’t safe.” 

The first outbreak? Meaning another one happened. Which is the one that caused so much death on this station. 

“I need that list and software,” was all he said and he didn’t care if the desperation showed on his face. 

You narrow your eyes at him, “What do you need it for?” 

“Heeseung,” he took a shaky breath, “I need to find Heeseung.” 

Ah, Dr. Lee Heeseung. Sunghoon’s best friend. How could you forget the second CEO who used to sign off on your paychecks and was attached to Sunghoon at the hip. 

“Heeseung has been missing for just as long as what you have,” you said, “The chances of him being alive are slim.” 

Sunghoon wasn’t excepting that answer, “Nov said his bracket was off, which means he could still be alive! I need your help to turn the bracelet back on and track where he is.” 

You studied him, this wasn’t the only thing he needed you for, “What else are you planning, Sunghoon?” 

He lifted his head high, “I’m going to find my best friend and any other survivor and get off this station and destroy it in the process.” 

You raised a brow, “You’re going to destroy Astra 1?” you laughed, “You think if that was possible, I would have done it by now? The power plant is the death trap filled with Typhon.” You knew the risks and what it would take to blow up this station. It was one of the safety precautions, after all, to know how to do this. He made sure of that. 

“I don’t care. Once we find Heeseung, the three of us can work together,” He took a few steps closer to you, “Please, YN. We need to survive this and destroy the typhon and everything that happened here.” 

You looked into his brown eyes, the same ones you’ve never been able to say no to, and forced yourself to look away, “Fine. But we’ll need to make a stop before heading straight to the crew quarters.” 

“And that is where exactly?” 

“Psychotronic. The place of the outbreak.” 

Sunghoon swallowed, “What for?” 

You smiled, “Someone stole my card key to get into the crew quarters and I am assuming you don’t have yours?” 

He sighed, already knowing this was a terrible idea. “Onward to Psychotronics.”

Astra 1’s lobby looked as peaceful as it did when Sunghoon first saw it, and the view of space? He still wasn’t over it either. The Arboretum had a good view of space, yes, but it was nothing compared to the lobby. 

Sunghoon followed behind you but stopped short and glanced up the stairs that led to his office, eyes stopping at the trauma center door. Relief washed over him when he saw the lock at the door was still lit up red. But his curiosity took over, legs moving him towards the stairs. 

You turned around in time to see him take the first couple of steps up. Where was he going? You knew his office sat on the top floor, but he did not need to go there. 

“Sunghoon!” you tried to whisper just loud enough for him to hear, but he indeed did not hear. He walked up the steps as if he was entranced. And that worried you. You double-checked the lobby and made a quick sprint to the stairs, praying no Typhon was in the area. 

By the time you caught up to him, he was staring through the small window of the trauma center door. 

What the fuck is he doing?!

Sunghoon locked eyes with the phantom, finding that it was still in its same place crouched in the corner. 

  ₒₕ? yₒᵤ’ᵣₑ ₛₜᵢₗₗ ₕₑᵣₑ?

Sunghoon narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brows, why was he here? He had more important things to do. 

𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝙸 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍?

Gᵤₑₛₛ wₑ ₐᵣₑₙ’ₜ ₛₒ dᵢffₑᵣₑₙₜ, yₒᵤ ₐₙd ᵢ. ₘₐybₑ?

Sunghoon tilted his head, and the phantom mimicked his motion, tilting its head the same way as if it was mirroring him. 

𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝. 𝚆𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝.

Its dark purple eyes widened, tilting its head to the other side. 

ₐᵣₑ yₒᵤ ₛₒ ₛᵤᵣₑ?

Sunghoon clenched his hands tight around his weapon. What is this creature on about?

You touched Sunghoon’s shoulder, “What are you doing?” You glanced in the window, your heart racing at seeing the phantom and how its dark eyes shifted to you, “Sunghoon, let’s go!” you tugged at his suit sleeve, “We need to go!” 

ₛₕₑ ₛₜᵢₗₗ wᵢₜₕ yₒᵤ? ₕₐₚₚy?

Sunghoon went to respond, but your unrelenting tug on his clothing took his eyes off the phantom, and looked at you, “Yeah, sorry. Let’s go.” He didn’t look back at the creature as he walked past you and down the stairs. 

You followed quickly after him, not wanting to take another glance at the phantom locked in the trauma center. 

The eerie feeling Sunghoon got the moment you both stepped foot in front of the Psychotronic’s door shook him to the core. This is where the outbreak happened. This is where it all started. The lock panel on the side of the door was red. He sighed, another passkey he doesn’t fucking remember. You walked up to the panel, typed the four-number passkey, and hovered your thumb over the unlock button, “The moment I unlock this door, we will have to relock it from the other side. God knows what we are fixing to encounter here. Are you ready?” 

Sunghoon lifted his shotgun up, “I survived my memory being wiped over and over, I can survive whatever the fuck is past these doors.” 

You held back a laugh, knowing damn well he wasn’t ready for what he was fixing to witness. But you pressed the button anyway, watching the door open due to the motion sensor. Sunghoon didn’t hesitate to walk in and you went in after him, quickly relocking the door behind you. 

Sunghoon couldn’t place his finger on it, but something about this small office didn’t feel right. There was another door with “PSYCHOTRONICS” printed in red across it. It was a full glass door, and it looked even more eerie than the feeling Sunghoon couldn’t shake off him. 

“Something doesn’t feel right,” he whispered, wandering his eyes to every inch of the room. 

You also clench your shotgun tighter, finger resting on the trigger. Something indeed did not feel right here. And you knew it wasn’t just because of what haunts psychotronics as a whole. 

Out of the corner of Sunghoon’s eye, a paperweight sitting on the desk in the corner fell to the floor as if it was pushed off. Mimic? No. Couldn’t be. He didn’t feel this unease in the presence of a mimic. Neither did he with a phantom. This was something else completely. 

The paper weight then shot across the room and the air grew thick. 

Gₑₜ ₒᵤₜ!

Both your and Sunghoon’s suits automatically flipped the helmets over your head just at the right moment of the both of you being lifted off the floor. 

“A poltergeist!” you screamed, gripping a hold of the bookshelf off to your left.

“A fucking what?!” Sunghoon snapped, wiggling himself in the air to try and steady himself, “Where the fuck is it!?” 

Your fingers started slipping from the bookshelf, dropping your shotgun and watching as it hit the floor in the same movement of gripping your other hand to the shelves and retightening your other hand, “It’s another Typhon! Its abilities are the exact same as a poltergeist ghost, you’ll need to find it!” 

Easier said than done, YN. 

At this point, Sunghoon’s back touched the ceiling. The poltergeist pressed him so hard he felt like he could barely breathe. Other smaller objects started to float in the room, making it harder to locate exactly where the damned thing was. 

Until Sunghoon caught movement by the door leading to the inner depths of psychotronics. The movement was quick, but not quick enough for him to get the location of the thing. He struggled against the force of its ability, but nevertheless, he lifted the shotgun up, closing one eye to help aim. The world seemed to have slowed at that moment of locking onto the poltergeist. Its body flickered slightly, “There you are.” 

One shot. One bullet piercing through the middle of its body was all it took for its invisibility to falter along with its lifting ability, dropping everything in the room, including you and Sunghoon. 

You pushed yourself forward to land on your back, knowing damn well the amount of pain you’d be in. Sunghoon on the other hand, was able to tuck and roll the minute he touched the ground. The minute he rolled back onto his feet he was rushing the geist, its deformed—and rather now angry—body rushed him too. It slowly flickers itself back to being invisible. But Sunghoon wasn’t going to let that happen, at least not fully. He dropped himself back to the floor the moment he sensed the geist was inches away and slid across the floor, aiming the barrel directly at the geist. 

One shot. Two shots. Three. The first hitting its middle, the second at its neck, and the last in the head. Its black blood coating his helmet and suit. The geist let out an agonizing screech and dropped its dead weight on top of Sunghoon, who quickly pushed the damned thing off him. 

Once he was back to his feet, he took a couple of deep breaths in and rested his hands on his hips, “What the fuck is a poltergeist Typhon?!” 

You slowly picked yourself off up from the floor, stretching your back out and praying nothing was broken, which nothing seemed to be, “It’s exactly what I said,” you walked over to his side, staring down at the creature, “Poltergeists are exactly like phantoms but not successfully created, which is why they look deformed and have different abilities than phantoms.” 

Sunghoon scoffs, the cool air now hitting his face as the helmet automatically retracted itself, smearing the black blood from the helmet now onto the back of his suit, “Poltergeist,” he mumbles, “Did Heeseung name that damn thing too?” 

Your helmet also retracted back, giving you access to fully look back at him, and you just smile, “You did, actually.” 

He raised his brows and let out a whistle of disprovement. He named this thing? And that was the best he could come up with? His thoughts stopped at the realization of the question he just asked you, as if he’d known you for longer than the short couple of hours. 

Sunghoon stared back at you, scanning his eyes over your features, trying to look into your mind somehow. To see what it is you know and to figure out why it is that he wanted to pull you towards him. 

“Let’s go, we need to get that card key.” You said, breaking eye contact and walking past him, and pushing the door open. Sunghoon slowly walked behind you, staring at the way your hair falls behind you, and how your hips sway. The way you carry yourself. His heart kept pulling and pulling towards you.

It confused him as to why. He just met you. The two of you were obviously complete opposites. Both your attitudes retract each other. So why? Why does he feel the need to pull you into his arms? Why does he want you in his arms? Why did he want to do all the things that kept rushing his brain with and for and to you? 

Sunghoon’s mind drifted away from the thoughts of you as the two of you approached the psychotronics lab. His eyes widened at what he was seeing in front of him. Not just what he was seeing, but what he was hearing. 

ₗₑₜ ᵤₛ ₒᵤₜ. ₗₑₜ ᵤₛ ₒᵤₜ. ₗₑₜ ᵤₛ ₒᵤₜ. ₗₑₜ ᵤₛ ₒᵤₜ. ₗₑₜ ᵤₛ ₒᵤₜ. ₗₑₜ ᵤₛ ₒᵤₜ.

He cupped his hands over his ears and grinded his teeth. There were rows upon rows of phantoms locked inside small chambers no bigger than the size that they were. 

You glanced back at him, seeing as he hunched over slightly, eyes wide and looking down at the floor. You walked back over to him and hooked your hand on his bicep, pulling him to walk forward. You weren’t sure what it was that was causing this, all you could guess was it was the effects of the neuromods. 

The minute you pulled him away from the phantom's chambers, he lifted himself back up and let out a pained exhale, “Why are they in there?” 

You tilt your head, clearly questioning why he cared, “They were the test subjects for the human psyche trials. They are the ones that weren’t so lucky to escape doing the outbreak. Some are ones that were caught and put back in there.” 

Sunghoon looked behind him, looking at each chamber, “There are no humans in there, right?” You tucked your lip between your teeth, his head whipping to you in your silence, “YN, answer me.” 

You look in the direction that you both need to go, “Just follow me.” 

So he did. Followed you to the very end of the ward and the fear Sunghoon just had became true. There were cells filled with people, some were dead, but most were alive. Their eyes burned with hatred as you both walked past their cells, “YN.” 

“They are prisoners, criminals given to us to use.” You hated every word of that sentence and could feel the piercing eyes of not just the ones trapped, but also Sunghoon’s, “They were the humans who underwent the first trials of gaining the Typhon psyche. They are the reason you went through the tests next after it was deemed successful. But when the neuromods were stripped from them, their memories stayed.” 

So they know exactly who I am and what I did to them here. 

Sunghoon looked each of them back in the eyes, telling them through his apologetic eyes how deeply terrible he felt for what he had done. Even if he didn’t remember any of it. 

He kept following you to the last cell that sat in the very back of the wall in the middle. The man who resided in was alone, his blonde hair slowly drifted into his eyes as he tilted his head to his left, a smirk growing wide across his face. 

“Well look who the fuck it is!” he clapped his hands, “Never thought I’d see your two faces ever again!” his smirk turned into a frown, “Especially yours, Park Sunghoon.” 

Sunghoon frowned back at him, but not out of sadness, but from the pure anger he felt towards this man. He didn’t understand why. 

The blonde lifted his head up, staring down at the two of you, “What could either of you possibly want?” Sunghoon looked at you and then laughter filled the room, “Now that’s a sight to see!” the blonde chuckled, “Dr. Park is actually quiet for once!” 

Sunghoon whipped his head back towards the male, “Why the fuck are you in this cell?” 

The male tilted his head again, “You don’t remember?” he chuckled again at Sunghoon’s silence, “Fuck, they wiped your memory?” 

You sigh, “This is Jay Park, trialed for several third-degree murders on and off Astra 1.”

The blonde smirked, stretching his arms at his sides and taking a bow, “At your service.” 

You continued, “He killed multiple doctors, nurses, scientists, and other normal everyday workers here just for sport.” 

𝙲𝚛𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢.

Sunghoon narrowed his eyes at Jay, the blonde mimicking the expression. 

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚖𝚎, 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞?

Sunghoon barely nodded, only giving a tilt of his head enough to show Jay he could, in fact, hear him. 

Jay smirked and glanced back toward you, “I am going to assume you didn’t come here for a history lesson, YN. So get to the point.” 

𝚆𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚔𝚎𝚢𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔. 𝚃𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚠 𝚚𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜.

Jay looked back at Sunghoon, “And why on Earth would I just hand over that keycard?” he reached into his back pocket and pulled the card out, your name and face printed over the front of it, “And what would I gain giving it back to you anyway?” 

You didn’t understand how Jay knew you wanted the card, but before you could answer, Sunghoon did it for you. 

“I am going to blow this motherfucking station to kingdom come,” he said without missing a beat, “So if you want to survive,” he tilted his head down, staring up directly at Jay, “I suggest you give us the keycard and we’ll give you your freedom and escape back to Earth.” 

Jay tucked his tongue into the side of his cheek, glancing back and forth between you and Sunghoon, clearly weighing out his options, “Is that all you’d need from me?” Jay questioned, “I have a baby sister back home, I can’t risk some bullshit that’ll end with my death. That stinkhead needs me.” 

𝚁𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝. 𝚈𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚌𝚎.

“Fucking watch it!” Jay snapped, snarling his teeth at Sunghoon and gripping his hands to the cool bars in front of him, “Guarantee my safety and I’ll help out in whatever you need.”

It was your turn to look at Sunghoon, trying to read whatever it was he could be possibly thinking. 

“I promise you’ll return back safely to your little sister,” Sunghoon stood up a bit straighter, “You will also release the rest of these people and lead them to the escape pods, but you won’t be allowed to leave until I say so,” Sunghoon made quick work to glance at Jay’s wrists, seeing a tracking bracket attached and snapping his eyes back to his face, “We can track your location, so the minute you step foot off this station,” Sunghoon walked up to the bars, grasping the wrench at his belt and releasing it, swinging with all his might and hitting the two metals together, the ringing of them echoing throughout the lab. 

 ₘₐₖₑ ᵢₜ ₛₜₒₚ. ₘₐₖₑ ᵢₜ ₛₜₒₚ. ₘₐₖₑ ᵢₜ ₛₜₒₚ.

The Typhon’s cries were so loud it not only affected Sunghoon, but also Jay. Both males wincing at their screams against their minds.  

Once the cries settled after the ringing stopped, with a few pants, Jay nodded, “Fine. I’ll help,” Jay tossed the keycard between the bars and on the floor, you rushed to pick it up, “Now let me out.”

Sunghoon had a bad feeling about letting Jay take control of the other prisoners and lead them to the escape pods, but he didn’t have any other option. Sunghoon also couldn’t shake away the fact Jay seemed to also be able to hear and communicate via the mind. Did they both go through similar tests? Had to have. 

All Sunghoon could currently hope for was for Jay to lead the others to the pods safely. 

The crew quarters were smooth sailing, or so you hoped. It was quiet and not a soul in sight. All the lights were still on and not a sigh of them even being tampered with. It definitely felt off, but you also weren’t going to complain. That still didn’t stop you and Sunghoon from treading lightly and not speaking a word with both shotguns locked and ready for use just in case. 

Yeah, the whole station gave Sunghoon an eerie feeling, but specifically the crew quarters did. Something was strange about this place. Something so unsettling. He wanted to get to your room, get whatever shit it was you needed to track down Heeseung’s bracelet, and get the fuck out. 

What made Sunghoon feel so unsettled was probably the lack of bodies, which you would think would be a good thing. But with the Typhon on the station and their abilities…

The entire area was filled with gold columns, silvery wallpaper for the walls, and a crimson carpet for the flooring. Each step was muffled by the carpet, which made the trek to your room easier. Sunghoon didn’t even realize he was holding his breath until the two of you stepped foot into your room and the door was closed and locked. 

Sunghoon let out a breath and steadied himself against the wall, watching you kneel down to the floor by your bed and pull out a laptop. Sunghoon raised his brow, “You hid everything in a laptop?” 

You rolled your eyes, typical of Sunghoon to judge something like this, “Would you rather I have just laid all the software and drivers in the open for everyone to see?” You quickly stood from the floor and tossed the laptop onto your desk and walked to the other side of the small room and to a picture frame you had on the wall, “I put everything onto this laptop, copied it into a neuromod and destroyed the rest.” You twisted the picture frame up, revealing a panel. You pressed in the code and the small door swung open, revealing the neuromod. 

Now Sunghoon was even more confused, “Why did you transfer the data into a fucking neuromod?” You glared at him as you took the neuromod and closed the safe, letting the picture frame swing back over and covering it. Sunghoon’s curiosity got the best of him, eyes scanning every inch of the photo: it was you with another male, another neurologist, he assumed. You and the male were in lab coats, holding up two of the neuromod guns with massive smiles on your faces. You noticed his eyes were on the photo and followed his gaze to it, thinning your lips to a line and softening your eyes, “He looks like a puppy.” 

You let out a breathy laugh and forced yourself to look away from it and take a seat at your desk, “He was known for being Astra 1’s puppy for a reason.” 

No matter how hard Sunghoon tried to put the male's face through his memory, nothing came up. He silently cursed to himself and decided he wasn’t going to rack his brain trying to remember. It only made him feel more like shit anyway. 

So he stood behind you at your desk, placing his hands onto the back of your chair and leaning forward, being nearly inches away from his chest touching your back, “You going to tell me why you’re using a neuromod to store data that isn’t a living things psyche?”

You held up the neurogun, pressing the trigger and watching the three prongs shoot from the barrel and loving the way Sunghoon flinched from the corner of your eye. He may not remember how painful those things had to have felt being injected into his body and he sure as hell doesn’t want to remember it. 

“It was the closest thing to a hard drive to put the data on that wouldn’t draw suspicions, obviously.” 

The fuck did this woman get her attitude from?

Sunghoon sighed, “You do remember I’ve had my memory wiped over and over again, right? I don’t know what it is I’ve done to piss you off, but I apologize, okay?” 

You swallowed and kept your eyes locked onto the laptop as it booted up, “Everyone thought you were dead.” 

Especially me. 

And that’s all you left it at and Sunghoon didn’t press it further, digging his nails into the cushion of your chair, “It was a smart idea, transferring the data into a mod.” 

You formed a small smile, “I know. I created the mods, to begin with, I know what they can do.” 

Sunghoon chuckled and rolled his eyes, his heart once again pulling to you and he unknowingly shifted forward, his chest barely grazing your back. You pulled up the bracelet tracking software and then inserted the prongs into the side of the laptop where the custom holes you created for it. It took a few seconds for it to process open and once it did, the entire list of staff and prisoners rolled up. 

His heart nearly stopped and his lips parted at the first two names on the list. 

𝖠𝖲𝖳𝖱𝖠 1 𝖤𝖬𝖯𝖫𝖮𝖸𝖤𝖤 𝖡𝖱𝖠𝖢𝖤𝖫𝖤𝖳 # 𝖠𝖭𝖣 𝖫𝖮𝖢𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭: 𝖢𝖤𝖮: 𝖯𝖠𝖱𝖪 𝖲𝖴𝖭𝖦𝖧𝖮𝖮𝖭: #20021208 𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖳𝖴𝖲/𝖫𝖮𝖢𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭: 𝖴𝖭𝖪𝖭𝖮𝖶𝖭.  𝖫𝖤𝖤 𝖧𝖤𝖤𝖲𝖤𝖴𝖭𝖦: #20011015 𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖳𝖴𝖲/𝖫𝖮𝖢𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭: 𝖴𝖭𝖪𝖭𝖮𝖶𝖭. 

Sunghoon’s mouth went dry as he stared at Heeseung’s unknown location, hands trembling against your chair, “You can turn his bracelet on, right?” 

You slowly nodded, “Yes,” you turned your face to look at him, seeing how he bit down on his lower lip with a look of desperation on his face. That look…that scared and worried and frustrated look was the same one you had when Sunghoon went missing. To this day you never figured out what happened to his bracelet or where the location of it even is. Nothing worked to turn it back on, meaning it was completely destroyed. It was the whole reason you thought he was dead to begin with, “But I need you to prepare yourself just in case it doesn’t turn on.” 

Sunghoon didn’t want to have to prepare himself, didn’t want to even put the thought in his head that his best friend could be long gone, “Please, YN, just…just check.” 

You faced back to the laptop and moved the cursor to hover over Heeseung’s tracking number then worked your magic into hacking the software on his bracelet and bypassing the mainframes. You bite down on your tongue, praying once you access the inner parts of it…then…

𝖫𝖤𝖤 𝖧𝖤𝖤𝖲𝖤𝖴𝖭𝖦: #20011015 𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖳𝖴𝖲/𝖫𝖮𝖢𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭: 𝖮𝖭𝖫𝖨𝖭𝖤: 𝖢𝖱𝖤𝖶 𝖰𝖴𝖠𝖱𝖳𝖤𝖱𝖲 𝖫𝖮𝖢𝖪𝖤𝖱 𝖱𝖮𝖮𝖬. 

The gasp of relief escaped his mouth as he flung his head down and to the side, resting his forehead against your temple, “You found him.” 

You stiffened, opening your mouth to speak but shutting it closed. You couldn’t bring yourself to bring his hopes down that there was still a possibility that…

So you gently shoved him away and stood up, “Let’s go check out the locker room and see what we find.”’

Sunghoon could see it written on your face on what you’re thinking, but he still had that hope regardless. His best friend could be alive. So he hoisted his shotgun up and followed you out of the room. 

Leading the way to the locker room was a short trip across the crew quarters, passing a set of stairs off to your left. Sunghoon’s footsteps fell quietly behind you, turning around to see him staring up at the stairs and to the doors. 

“Sunghoon?” you whispered to him. He slowly just looks back at you. How can he tell you something is drawing him up those stairs? Beckoning him? He chose to fall right back into step behind you. He needs to find Heeseung first. 

The main door to the locker rooms split off into the women’s going to the right, and men’s towards the left. You point your finger to the left, telling him that is the direction of Heeseung’s bracelet. With a deep breath, Sunghoon stepped through the door frame, shotgun pointing forward as he carefully walked in. 

The locker room was dark with one singular light flickering in the middle. A small droplet of water dripped down from a broken sink, echoing the room along with a sound of…heavy breathing?

Sunghoon’s heart pounded, walking faster past each row of lockers until reaching the end, seeing another person hunched over on the floor, their hands tangled into their hair on the back of the head. Mumbles escaped their lips as their entire body shuddered. 

“Heeseung?” Sunghoon whispered, lowering his weapon and reaching a hand out toward the male, “Hee?” 

Before Sunghoon could even touch the man, he quickly whipped around eyes wide and tears streaming down his face, “H-help me,” he mumbled. Sunghoon immediately recognized the male. Astra 1’s puppy. 

“Jake!” you whispered, trying to rush to your best friend but Sunghoon stopped you. His arm wrapped around your waist and yanked you back, “Let go!” you quickly snapped. 

“Something ain’t right!” he snapped back, lifting the shotgun and keeping it pointed at Jake, “Look at him!”’

So you did, seeing the way Jake’s body twisted and twitched. How his eyes were red and pupils were blown. 

“YN,” Jake cried, his aura changing as he stood up, his fingers gripping to the bench in front of him as if to stop him from fully standing, “Get out of here,” he begged, pleading with you both with his eyes, “Now.”’

Your fingers gripped into Sunghoon’s suit, “Jake…”’

“He’s under mind control,” Sunghoon glanced away from Jake and to the floor, “A telepath is around here.” 

As if it was beckoning him, Sunghoon glanced back up at Jake and to his wrists, seeing two tracking brackets. One look was all it took for Sunghoon to realize one of them belonged to his best friend. 

“Why do you have Heeseung’s bracelet?!” Sunghoon snapped and all Jake replied with was a hushed breath, begging once again for them to leave. 

“It knows you’re here,” Jake cried, still trying to fight the mind control, “You need to—“ and then his body stopped twitching, arms falling to his sides and head falling forward just to slowly lift a bit, eyes beating up at the two of you, the corner of his lip twitched and one more tear fell down his face, “Kill me. Please.”’

Not a second passed after those words and Jake was rushing forward. Sunghoon quickly flung you behind him, both hands gripping the shotgun, “Jake!!” he shouted, rushing backward as quickly as he could to stay out of the male's grasp. Who knew what would happen if he got ahold of either of you, mostly with a telepath somewhere in hiding. 

“KILL ME!” Jake was screaming now, his movements getting faster but his eyes stayed begging. Sunghoon couldn’t do it. How could he end another human's life? He clearly worked alongside this man before his memory was wiped. He couldn’t do it, “Dr. Park! Please!” 

I can’t do this. I can’t do it. I can’t do it. 

But you could. 

The realization hit you all too late that: 

You left your shotgun back in your room. 

Jake was going to die anyway. 

The Telepath wasn’t going to allow Jake to live much longer, and by how red his eyes were…Jake was already crossing that thin line between life and death. 

So with tears in your eyes, you snatched Sunghoon’s weapon, pointed it directly at your best friend, and whispered, “I’m so sorry, Jakey,” and you pulled the trigger. You could have sworn you saw a glint sparkling in those red eyes as his body went limp and fell to the floor, his blood pooling around him. 

Sunghoon immediately twisted you around and pressed your body against his, shielding you away from what you just had done, wrapping his arms so tightly against your frame. But it was too late. The image of the hole you just put between the eyes of your best friend’s head was stapled to your brain. 

Jake was dead. You murdered him. 

Your body shook as the tears kept flooding out. Sunghoon’s grip on you becomes tighter and one hand connects to the back of your head, “YN…” It was all he could say. Nothing but your name leaving his lips. No words would make this right or what you did to fade off into existence. 

You pulled yourself away from Sunghoon, staring deeply into his eyes, seeing the same hurt staring back at you. Seeing how he also was accepting the painful truth: His best friend more than likely is also dead. 

A scream then erupted deep within the locker room. Multiple sounds of footsteps echoing and rushing. 

Your eyes widened, “The telepath is sending everyone it has control over to us!” 

You needed to get out of here and fast. Without so much as another thought, Sunghoon’s hand was wrapped in yours and leading you out of the locker room. You both were barely out and back into the brightness of the crew quarters just to be met with multiple humans under the control rushing towards you from almost every direction. 

Those stairs. 

Sunghoon kept his grip on your hand tight and ran, “We need to get to those stairs!” You knew where those stairs led and knew the safety they held. Rushing Sunghoon to run faster. 

He took two steps at a time, eyes locking onto the first door he saw, barely catching the nameplate. 

DR. LEE HEESEUNG. 

The screams and shouts from the mind control humans were gaining on them, Sunghoon fumbling with the door and noticing…”IT’S FUCKING LOCKED!!” 

You quickly reached around him, typed the code in, and shoved the door open, “FUCKING MOVE!!” you yelled, shoving him inside and relocking the door behind you.

You both sat on opposite walls of each other, heads resting on the wall and lips between your teeth to keep any sound from escaping. The sounds of the mind-controlled more than likely drew in every type of Typhon in the area or nearby in this direction. And now it was a waiting game. 

How much time has passed? Thirty minutes? An hour? Sunghoon couldn’t be so sure. And it wasn’t until the echoing of the mind-controlled started to fade that either of you felt brave enough to move. You unlocked the door and barely slid it open, peeking your head out just enough to see not a soul walking the area. Nor human or Typhon. You quickly closed the door and relocked it, slowly turning to Sunghoon. 

He stood by the nightstand table, a photo frame of himself and Heeseung as children sat atop it. You wanted to speak but didn’t have a clue what to say. He just found out his best friend is more than likely dead. What words could be said at this moment? 

“Do you have any idea as to why Jake had Heeseung’s bracelet?” 

His words cut like ice and you had to remind yourself he was hurting, “No, I didn’t,” you swallowed and stood a few steps towards him, “I didn’t even know Jake was still alive.” 

Which was true. After the second outbreak, every employee and crew mate kind of just…went where they could. You’ve tried tracking down Jake’s bracelet too, it showed movement for a couple of days until it eventually stopped. You assumed he was dead, and left the safety of your room knowing damn well the moment you left the crew quarters you’d not be able to return without your lost key. 

Sunghoon slowly set the photo frame face down and let out a painful exhale. It broke you seeing him like this, “Sunghoon…” You walked behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist, and rested your head against his back, “I am so sorry.” 

He tilted his head up and quickly blinked away the tears that were forming. Heeseung was gone. He lost his best friend. Your sniffles brought Sunghoon back to reality and quickly twisted himself around to hold you to him, “Hey,” he whispered, pressing your face to his shoulder, “It’s okay,” he knew it wasn’t okay, that it wouldn’t ever be. Not after what you had to do. 

You pushed yourself from him and rubbed your eyes with the back of your gloved hands, “Let’s just search this room while we are here. Maybe you can find clues or something.” You weren’t sure what exactly you’d find here, but all you could hope for was Sunghoon finding some sort of peace. 

So you both got to looking, finding pretty much nothing outside the ordinary. A bunch of neurology books and records of patients are on the bookshelves. Any photo on the wall didn’t have any hidden compartment like yours did. Nothing under the bed or table. The last place to look was his desk. 

Sunghoon sat down at the desk, staring at the login screen on the monitor. His fingers hovered over the keyboard and his lips trembled. It angered him how he couldn’t for the life of him remember what Heeseung could possibly use as his password. 

You noticed this, reaching over his shoulders and typing in the password, and hitting enter. Sunghoon quickly wiped his head to you, “How do you know Heeseung’s password? You knew the one for the door too.”’

You didn’t know how to answer this but went with, “It’s kind of important to know all the passkeys around here,” you looked away from him and towards the monitor, “Mostly after the outbreak and over half the crew is either dead or missing.” 

“How, YN.” 

How could you tell him? 

Sunghoon shook his head and turned back to the monitor, deciding to dismiss the conversation and search through Heeseung’s computer. He was thankful for you and for you knowing every password. He might finally get more answers about Heeseung. 

And thank whatever god was listening that Sunghoon seemed to know how to navigate this computer, being it’s the same exact software back at the company building on Earth. 

There too, was nothing out of the ordinary on the computer so far. Just records of patients and some notes on neuromods and the prisoners and Typhon. Nothing that stood out. Until Sunghoon came across a folder that was clearly out of place, “What the fuck…” he mumbles, clicking the folder and a bunch of videos popping up. 

“He made video vlogs?” you question, leaning further over Sunghoon’s shoulder, “Was he the type to make vlogs?” 

Sunghoon shook his head, “I’ve never seen him make one.” 

You looked at the dates on the videos, seeing they started back on the opening day of the station, “Scroll to the bottom,” Sunghoon listened and stopped at the bottom. Your lips parted at the dates of the last three videos, “Those are the dates of before you went missing and a month after.” 

That’s all it took for Sunghoon to click the first video. 

The video started with Heeseung adjusting the camera with a goofy look of concentration on his face, Sunghoon couldn’t help but chuckle. “So,” he started, sitting back in his chair, “Sunghoon had another outburst today,” Heeseung rubbed his hands against his eyes, Sunghoon took notice of the bracelet on his wrist, his tracking bracelet, “I tried to convince them to shut the trials down. That we needed more time to research this. But those damn scientists act like they know MORE than me as if I didn’t slave my life away to get my degree,” he sighed and dropped his hands into his lap, eyes wandering to the door, “They won’t let me see Sunghoon. Completely closed off the area to the labs and denied my key access to getting in.” Heeseung locked his jaw and looked back into the camera, “As if I’m not their BOSS and sign their fucking paychecks every two weeks. Fuck’em!” There was a knock at his door and he stood from the chair, the sounds of a door opening and closing echoed, and then Heeseung dropped himself back into the chair with Jake appearing behind him. 

Your heart nearly stopped, what was Jake doing there?

Jake raised his brows at the camera, “Bro, you vlog?” Heeseung slapped Jake’s chest, both of them smiling wide, “Fuck off! It’s just a way to keep records and to talk.” Jake chuckled, “You know we have a therapist on the station right?” The two males ruffled around, “Anyway!” Heeseung said with one last shove of Jake, “Did you bring what I asked?” Jake frowned, “Yes, but I don’t think this is a good idea.” Heeseung stared at the camera, “Lemme see it.” Jake sighed and moved off to the side of the desk and then came back into the frame. Both your and Sunghoon’s hearts dropped. A neuromod was in Jake’s hand. 

Sunghoon quickly looked at you, seeing the same shock he had written all over your face, “Jakey,” you whispered, “What did you do.” 

Heeseung took the neuromod from Jake and examined it in his hands, “Thank you. And it has exactly what I asked for?” Jake nodded, biting at the skin on his lips, “Hee, maybe we need to rethink this. You’ve seen what these things have done to Sunghoon.” Heeseung didn’t take his eyes off the mod, clicking the trigger and watching the pongs push out, “We won’t get the results we want if Sunghoon is the only one sacrificing himself every single day!” he looked up at Jake, “I have a theory, and if this works we can recover the memories those asshats keep stripping from Sunghoon. It’s probably why he keeps having outbursts.” Jake’s eyes glanced at the camera, “And what does YN think about this?” 

Your body went cold at your name being mentioned and you didn’t miss how Sunghoon’s hand on the mouse twitched at your name being said too. 

Heeseung swallowed and looked down at his lap, “She doesn’t know. And we won’t tell her.” Jake shook his head, “You can’t keep this from her!” Jake slapped his fist into the desk, the aggression not affecting Heeseung one bit, “She has a right! Mostly if it affects Sunghoon!” Heeseung lifted his eyes up to the camera, “We aren’t telling her, and that’s final.” Jake looked to the other side of the room, “Fine. But if shit goes south I WILL tell her.” Heeseung nodded, “I have another request of you before you leave,” Jake tilted his head, clearly waiting for his instructions, “I’m going to disable my bracelet. I need you to dispose of it.” By the look on Jake’s face, he disagreed, “Heeseung—“ Heeseung didn’t wait for Jake to finish, “I need to be able to walk freely without them on my fucking ass. Please.” Jake nodded but clearly didn’t like it. The males worked together to get the bracelet off and disable it from the other side. Once it was finished, Jake shoved the bracelet into his pocket, “I need to go, they are fixing to prepare a phantom for a trial, I need to be there.” Heeseung nodded, and without another word, Jake left. Heeseung pulled himself closer to the desk, “I’m praying this works, and if it does…” He swallowed, “I can save my best friend and shut this shit down.” Heeseung lifted the neuromod up, facing the pongs towards his right eye, “Here goes nothing.” 

You barely were able to look away in time of Heeseung shoving the pongs into his eye socket. But Sunghoon kept his eyes glued to the screen, watching his friend torture himself and letting out screams of pain as a small stream of blood ran from the socket. Listening to the video was bad enough, you could only imagine what Sunghoon was currently thinking. 

Heeseung yanked the pongs from his eye and closed it tightly and reaching for a towel that sat at the corner of his bed and pressed it to his eye, “Fuck that hurts!” he said through gritted teeth, “How the fuck does Sunghoon do this?” Heeseung then opened his drawer to the desk and tossed the neuromod inside, slamming it shut. 

Sunghoon was quick to reach his hand over to the handle of the drawer and fling it open. His heart dropped at what he found: multiple neuromods with their pongs out sitting in the drawer. Sunghoon counted over twelve. 

Heeseung…what the fuck did you do?!

Heeseung stared into the camera, reaching his free hand up and grasping it, “Godspeed.” Then the screen went black. 

Sunghoon quickly exited out of the video and clicked the second one. 

Heeseung once again was sitting at the desk, his favorite black Prada tee shirt was stained, and Sunghoon assumed it was stained with blood. Heeseung lifted his eyes up to the camera, his right eye slightly red, “I’ve used about…six? Yeah six neuromods so far,” he leaned forward, resting his arms on the desk, “This phantom's psyche that I have consistently shoved into my eye socket…it’s a smart one. I can hear its voice. It showed me its past memories,” Heeseung leaned back into the chair and lifted up his right arm, “It has even granted me its gifts,” Then his arm shifted, turning from a normal human arm into one of a phantom’s, turning the color of the shiny black and twisting and pulsating. Heeseung was unfazed as he looked down at his arm and then returned it back to normal. “The phantom has even accessed parts of my memory that I have forgotten. This will work, or would have worked,” He dropped his arm into his lap, “There’s been an outbreak, two actually. The first was contained, the second…” He swallowed, “I need to get to Sunghoon. Fast. The scientists abandoned him down in the labs but the Typhon got to them before they could escape, trapping them inside.” Heeseung licked at the side of his lips, “Before the first outbreak, Sunghoon left a video message for himself and I helped him set everything up…it…it was the last time I was allowed to see him before the final trial they put him through. I need to get to Nov and see if we can’t hack into the doors and get them open so I can get Hoon out. The only problem is the Typhon running around. I’ll have to sneak around.” Heeseung pushed himself away from the desk and grabbed a briefcase, “Jake, if you see this video at any point, I am sorry. I stole more neuromods without you knowing,” he set down the briefcase, “YN, if you see this, I apologize for failing and breaking our promise of keeping Sunghoon safe. I don't know where you are on this station, but I pray to whatever god is listening that you use all the passkeys I’ve given you to get off this damned ship and take Jake with you.” 

You clenched your gloved hands onto the part of your suit at your pant leg, eyes glancing down at Sunghoon, “He gave you all the passwords?” Sunghoon felt more confused than he did before. 

“Also, YN, I’m the one who stole your keycard, they disabled mine again after you helped me re-enable it. So I took it to use and blamed Jay for it, it just happened to be a silly act of fate that he ended up taking it from me before being put back behind bars.” You bit at your lip and looked away from the screen, “Lastly Sunghoon, I am so sorry man, for letting you go through these trials. For not trying hard enough to stop them. I know I said all this when I saw you last, but I am truly so fucking sorry.” Tears fell down his best friend's face but quickly brushed them off, “I will get you out of that lab. I need to get to your office and reboot Nov.” The video ended there. 

Sunghoon didn’t miss a beat when clicking the last video. Heeseung was now in the trauma center, his right eye bloodshot red and his dark hair dripping with sweat, “I failed,” were the first words he said, his red space suit he was now wearing was torn, his nametag barely legible, “The Typhon…the phantom…in my brain…it’s taking control.” Heeseung dropped his head into his palms, “I tried to control it, thinking if I stayed in control and reminded it whose body it’s in that it would listen but…” Heeseung dropped his hands, parts of his face spotting the Typhon’s skin, his left eye completely turning from its brown to dark purple, “I can’t control it. We made a mistake using these creatures.” Heeseung glances at the door, “I hacked into a turret and used the last neuromod I had to give it the phantom’s DNA…MY DNA…” He swallows, “The phantom will take over my mind and body. I can’t take any chances.” Tears fell down Heeseung’s face and this time he didn’t stop them, “Sunghoon…I’m sorry. If you wake up…I sent Nov to leave notes that you wrote for yourself and had him drop them off around the station. I reprogrammed his system to only tell you the important details then erased his memory of seeing me. It’s what is for the best…mostly since…I won’t exist much longer.” 

Sunghoon’s hands were trembling…the phantom in the trauma center… it was Heeseung. That’s why Sunghoon felt so compelled to go there. The trials Sunghoon underwent were the Typhon’s psyche being placed and removed over and over again, it all made sense why he was able to hear the Typhon speak to him. Why he could hear Jay. Sunghoon still had a bit of their psyche left in his brain. 

“I will send this vlog to my computer and pray you find it, Sunghoon. I love you man…so much, thank you for growing up with me. For being my best friend and brother. See you on the other side.” 

Sunghoon shook his head, “No…” Heeseung’s features slowly started to shift and then the video ended. His best friend was gone. Forever. 

Sunghoon slowly stood from the chair and pulled you into his arms. His whole body was shaking, “We need to get off this station.” 

You nodded into his shoulder, “We need to survive, for Jake and Heeseung.” 

Once Sunghoon stopped shaking, you convinced him to go to the escape pods and make sure the other survivors got on and left so you both could go to the power plant and shut this station once and for all. For Jake. For Heeseung. And for all the innocent people who lost their lives working on this damned station. 

He followed you out of Heeseung’s room, watching carefully as you started to walk away, but stopped and turned to him, “What’s wrong?” 

Sunghoon turned and looked at the door beside Heeseung’s, DR. PARK SUNGHOON was written on the door plate, “I want to see what’s in my room.” Sunghoon obviously had more questions and more curiosity about the memories that were taken from him. Maybe he left vlogs like Heeseung did. Maybe there are records of all that happened to him. Literally anything. 

“Sunghoon—“

“YN, please.” 

You slowly walked past him and stopped in front of the door, fingers trembling as you typed his passcode into the panel, the click of the door stopping your heart. You stepped to the side, letting Sunghoon be the one to walk inside first. 

With a deep breath, Sunghoon pushed the door open and walked in, you following behind and closing the door behind you, resting your body against the door. The first thing he noticed was the workbench in the corner, pieces of what seemed to be the same material that Nov was made out of, along with a broken neuromod. This is where he created Nov. He walked to the middle of the room and looked at his bed and then the nightstand, seeing a photo frame sitting there. He furrowed his brows as he picked it up. Sunghoon stood in the middle of the photo, Heeseung was to his right, you to his left along with Jake at your left. Each of you was holding up a red solo cup and the background looked like what seemed to be a bar area on the station, “We were all friends, weren’t we?” You stayed silent, watching him with saddened eyes. Sunghoon noticed how close you were standing next to him, how his arm was wrapped around you, and the way you leaned into him. 

He set the photo down and looked at his computer desk, more photos sat by the monitors and even hung on the walls above them. Sunghoon slowly walked over, his heart pounding at the images. There were some of him and Heeseung. A few of him and Jake. But most of them consisted of you. You and him. Sunghoon traced his eyes over each photo, seeing all the memories he lost. Each photo of you and him held so much…love. The way he kissed your cheek in one photo. The way he held you to his chest in his bed in the other. The way you held your hands in his. One of the two of you in your lab coats and doing a silly pose. And then the last one…was just of your hands…matching rings placed on both your middle fingers. 

Sunghoon placed his fingers over his gloved hand, feeling the metal still there. He looked over to you, “We were together, weren’t we?” 

You mimicked his motion, and felt for the matching ring that sat on your middle finger, “We were, yes,” you blinked away the tears that formed and weakly smiled, “You told me you wanted to marry me the minute we landed back on Earth,” you looked down at your gloved hand, “So you made these matching rings as a promise that you’d switch it over to the right finger once our feet touched the ground.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sunghoon took a step towards you, afraid he’d overstep if he got too close. 

You met his eyes, “I thought you were dead. How could I tell the person I love that we were in a relationship without confusing him further after finding out all you have in this short time?” you broke eye contact again, looking to the floor, “It took everything in me to not rush to you when you appeared down in the greenhouse. I had to remind myself what was done to you. I wanted…” 

Sunghoon rushed to you, cupping your face between his hands and forcing you to look up at him, “I’ve felt this pull towards you since I laid my eyes on you,” tears now swelled in his eyes, “And I fucking hate myself for forgetting someone so important to me.” 

Sunghoon couldn’t explain it, but he knew he loved you. Even with all the memories stripped from him. He could feel the love you had for him radiating and knew that same amount of love resided within him too. 

Tears filled your eyes now too as you stared deeply into his, “Shhh,” he whispered, wiping his thumb against your eye, “I am right here, baby.” 

“I thought you were dead,” you couldn’t stop the tears from falling now, “I thought I lost you, I—“ 

Sunghoon pressed his body against yours, “I am right here, shhh baby, don’t cry I am right here.” Without hesitation, he crashed his lips to yours, sliding his hands down to your waist, “I am right here.” 

Three months. Three long months without him. With thinking he no longer existed in this world. Without touching him. You didn’t know what came over you, but you took advantage of this moment. Deepening the kiss and pulling him as close as possible against you. Sunghoon couldn’t get enough of you, every ounce of love poured out of him at this moment. His hands slid back up your body and gripped at the zipper of your suit at the same time as your fingers fumbled with his zipper, both of you pulling it down. You reached your hands into the suit at his shoulders and slid your hands down across his white tank top, the leather of the suit at your fingertips sending chills down his spine and oh god he couldn’t wait to actually feel your skin against his. 

You pulled the suit down his shoulders and arms, him pulling leather off his arms and dropping it at his waist, hands flying back to your now exposed waist and sliding them up, groaning at how your skin felt against his skin. His hands kept moving up, cupping your clothed breasts before pushing them up to your shoulders and pulling your suit off to expose your blue tank top and bare arms. Once it pooled at your hips, Sunghoon pressed himself further against you, taking in the feeling of you. He wanted more. Needed more. 

He grabbed your hands and placed them on his chest, moving them down his torso and stopping at the ends of his tank. You took care of the rest. Looping your fingers underneath the fabric and sliding your hands back up, grazing your fingers over his toned body as you dragged the tank up and over his head, disposing of it somewhere in the room. 

Sunghoon was losing his mind at your touch. Cursing himself more and more for forgetting the taste of you. For forgetting how perfectly your body connected with his. For forgetting you. 

You pulled the rest of his suit down, leaving him now in nothing but his boxers. You fought with the rest of your suit, Sunghoon’s hands making quick work to pull you off the wall and shoving the suit down and pressing you back against the wall, hands now removing your tank and bra then looping his fingers at your panties and removing them, leaving you completely bare to him. 

He tucked your lip between his teeth and pulled, loving the gasp of pleasure that escaped out your mouth, rubbing his clothed cock against your folds, “Let me have you,” he said after releasing your lip, his thumbs tucking into his boxers, “Baby, I want to feel you.” 

And oh god you needed to feel him. Your eager hands pulled down his boxers for him then placed your hands on his shoulder and lifted one leg up to his hip and did a small jump, Sunghoon catching you and wrapping your legs tightly around his waist, his tip prodding your entrance. 

Sunghoon stared deeply into your eyes as he lowered you down, his cock stretching you perfectly. You threw your head back against the wall, relishing in the pure bliss of feeling him deep inside you again after so long. Sunghoon might not remember the first time he’s fucked you, but he won’t forget this time. He’s going to fuck you to the point the memory and your sounds get burned into his brain. 

He pressed you harder against the wall, snapping his hips at a primal rate against your skin. He connected his lips back to yours, tongue licking at the inside of your mouth, not leaving a single inch of it untouched. Your hands slid from his shoulder and up to the back of his head, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling. Sunghoon released his mouth from yours to moan at the grip you had on his hair, relishing in the sensation of each tuck you made, “Fuckkkk,” he lowered his head into your neck, “You really know how to work my body.”

You tilted your head at the touch of his lips to your neck and hissing as his teeth took your skin into his mouth and sucked, “And you haven’t forgotten how to work mine.” 

Sunghoon licked at the now purple mark on your neck, loving how good you tasted on his tongue. His breathing became uneven as he lost himself to the pleasure your cunt gave him, hips stuttering. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer, not with how tight you hugged his cock. 

“Baby,” he moans against your neck, “I’m not going to last much longer,” you felt his cock twitch and his hold on you becoming loose. 

Without another word, you went from being pressed to the wall to being pressed to his bed. Your legs are now being moved from his waist to over his shoulders, your thighs pressing against your chest. 

“Ughhh fucccckkkkk,” he groans, flinging his head back at how much deeper he is now inside you in this new position. His cock kissed your cervix with each thrust he made. You also weren’t going to last very long, not with how he fucked into you. 

“Hoonie,” you whine, digging your nails into his back, “I’m cumming,”

“Shit baby, me too.” 

You latched your lips onto his shoulder and bit down as your orgasm flooded out, coating his cock with your juices. He hissed at how much harder you bit down, making him see stars with the final thrust, his seed painting your gummy walls. 

But he couldn’t stop moving, wanting to relish in the feeling of you as much as possible, even if it was overstimulating you both, “I love you,” he whined, finally dropping his weight on top of you, lips pressing to your temple, “I love you.” 

You slid your hands down his biceps, eyes looking at the ring on your middle finger and tears swelled your eyes once more, “I love you too, please don’t ever forget that.”

Sunghoon rested his forehead against yours, “I won’t baby. I won’t ever forget again.” 

You weren’t sure exactly how much time had passed, but you also didn’t seem to care. Not when there was so much lost time to make up between you and Sunghoon. 

Mostly not caring because of the way Sunghoon had flipped you over not even twenty minutes after the first round and had your face pressed into the pillows and pounding into you from behind. 

Sunghoon couldn’t help it. His love for you was pouring out and there was nothing he could do to stop it. The way you felt wrapped around him exceeded every ounce of pleasure he could have imagined. He just wanted to love on you in every way possible, and right now that was fucking you like tomorrow wasn’t promised. 

Both of you were cased in sweat mixed with both your legs sticky from the number of times he’d made you cum alongside him. Even once you both finally got out of bed and into the shower to clean yourselves off, Sunghoon had your back pressed to the cool tile wall. Rocking his hips against yours slowly as his hands explored every inch of your body and his mouth brushed on yours with soft moans escaping his lips. 

It took a lot of you convincing him after cumming once again that there was still work to be done and to finally clean up. He pouted but nevertheless listened to you.

With both your suits now zipped back and weapons in hand, it was time to move forward. 

“Next stop is the power plant?” Sunghoon asked, closing the door to his room behind him, taking one last long look at Heeseung’s door as you both walked past. 

You turned and looked at him, seeing the sadness back in his eyes, “We’ll send the survivors out on the escape pods first and get them off this station. Then the next stop is the power plant.” 

Sunghoon nodded, finally drifting his eyes off his best friend's door, and placed his hand on your lower back, fingers slightly digging into the fabric of your suit, “Let’s get going then.” 

The walk to the bridge was quiet, only encountering a few mimics which was nothing either of you couldn’t handle. Sunghoon followed close behind you as you guided him back through the Arboretum and into an elevator taking you up. Sunghoon silently thanked whoever designed this station because this elevator had the perfect view of space as you ascended up. His lips slightly parted, completely blown away by how beautiful space truly was. 

You noticed how in awe he was, “The first time I ever saw you,” you started, gaining Sunghoon’s attention. You smiled and looked away from him, letting your eyes trace the stars, “You and Heeseung were looking at live photos of space back in the company building. You had that exact same look on your face.” 

You turned to face him once again, moving to stand right beside him, and as if on instinct, he reached his arm out to wrap around your waist and pull you close, his lips making purchase on the crown of your head, “What about when I first saw you?” 

You looked up at him, “You were an asshole when we first met.” 

Sunghoon chuckled, looking back out into the infinite space, “Sounds about right.” 

You hugged him close, “It didn’t take me long to get you to warm up to me once we boarded Astra 1.” You smiled at the memory, feeling like it just happened yesterday when it was a little over a year ago, “I just had to separate you from Heeseung first.” 

Another chuckle left his lips, “He was my best friend, we were practically attached at the hip.” 

You traced your gloved finger over the line of his jaw, “Trust me, I know.” You stood on your tippy toes and planted a kiss on his cheek, “You both were a package deal, just like Jake and I were.” 

Sunghoon tried to act like the word were wasn’t affecting him. How could he just get used to saying it in a past-tense way? He was pulled from his thoughts as the elevator windows finally got covered by parts of the station and came to a stop, the doors slowly opening. 

The hallway was dark, immediately forcing Sunghoon to quip both hands onto the shotgun, eyes double-checking that his handy wrench was still attached to his belt. Sunghoon slowly stepped off the elevator, eyes darting straight ahead, “Stay close to me, YN.” You stayed on his heels as you both trekked down the hall, a set of stairs going up, which he assumed was the bridge, and another going down, which he also assumed was the escape pods. And sure enough, he was right as a sign came into view pointing him in the direction he needed, heading directly down the stairs. 

As you both gained closer to the door, the voices of the survivors echoed into the hall softly. Once Sunghoon pushed the door open, all eyes were locked on him and you, especially Jay’s. 

𝚃𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑.

Sunghoon scowled at Jay, “We had important things to deal with!” 

Jay eyed Sunghoon up and down. 

𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝.

Sunghoon cocked his head to the side and stuck his tongue into his cheek. 

𝙺𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.

Jay clenched his fists, “Try me, Dr. Park.” 

Sunghoon lifted the shotgun, parting the sea of people between him and Jay, “I will blow your brains out along with this goddamn station! Shut your fucking mouth!” 

You rushed to him, gripping the barrel of the gun and pushing it down, “Sunghoon, that’s enough. Same to you Jay!” 

Both men scoffed but backed down. 

“Get in the pods,” Sunghoon finally spoke back up after a few minutes of silence, “Now.” Sunghoon instructed to keep the first pod free, wanting to have it as easy access once the station was set to explode and make it an easier escape for you and him. 

One by one, each survivor piled into the pods, and one by one, Sunghoon closed the hatch and sent the pods out. The final pod to prepare was Jay’s along with the remaining survivors. Sunghoon set the pod to be launched, taking one final look inside at Jay. 

“Tell your sister hi for me, ya?” 

Jay stood to his feet, “You son of a b—“ he was cut off by the pod's door closing and the hatch covering the pod before sending it out. 

You rolled your eyes, “Did you have to piss him off?” 

Sunghoon shrugged, placing his hand at your hip and moving you back towards the entrance, “He just irritates me.” 

You sigh, “Yeah, he irritated you even before your memory was wiped.” 

Which didn't surprise him at all. 

He shrugged again, “Let’s just go blow this motherfucker up, ya?” 

The descent to the bottom of the station was short but nerve-racking. Sunghoon couldn’t shake off the feeling that something very bad was lurking around. He couldn’t describe it, the eerie feeling he got once the elevator arrived at the power plant. It shook him to the core. 

“We’d have to override the system,” you said stepping out of the elevator, “It won’t be hard, but once it’s activated we’ll need to run—“ 

“Shh!” he quickly hushed, pointing his index finger to his lips, “Something doesn’t feel right.” 

You wanted to question him but stopped yourself after seeing the terrified look on his face. You’ve never seen him so scared, or ever scared at all. Something has to be wrong. 

You looked around the power plant, trying to find what Sunghoon was so desperately trying to find. The air grew thick as you too, couldn’t shake off the feeling that something bad was lurking down here. And unfortunately, there were only two ways to go: either back up the elevator, or pass all this machinery and into the next room where you’d need to be heading anyway. 

Reaching out for his arm, you pulled him towards the office room to overrate the system, trying to be as quiet as possible. 

𐌉 𐋅𐌀ᕓ𐌄 𐌅o𐌵𐌍𐌃 𐌙o𐌵, 𐌌𐌙 𐌐𐌓𐌄𐌙.

A loud screech filled the room, forcing you and Sunghoon down to your knees and cupping your ears. Sunghoon being more affected than you as his voice almost matches the same pitch of the screech with his own screams. His throat went dry and his voice hoarse as his screams no longer erupted from his mouth. 

The screech stopped and something compelled Sunghoon to slowly turn his head, eyes widening. 

“What the fuck is that?!” He yelled, his whole body shaking and not being able to move. 

You crawled over to him and got to your feet, shoving your hands under his arms and forcing his trembling body up anyway, “A fucking nightmare! RUN!” 

The nightmare was the same height as the ceiling, his head barely scraping its surface. The thing had to be pushing eighteen—twenty feet. It looked exactly like a normal phantom, but huge. 

Sunghoon tried to reach for his shotgun, but you pulled him away all too quickly, “Leave it!” you screamed over the nightmare echoing out its screech but on a lower pitch, “That gun won’t do nothing for you!” 

So you both ran. The nightmare taking one step compared to your multiple, its arms reaching down, ready to grab you both. 

Almost there. Almost there. Just a few more steps. ALMOST THERE!!

And bless whatever idiot that was down here last and left the door unlocked, making the escape into the room easier. Once you both were in, you locked the door and hurried to the computer monitors, pressing your fingers away at the keys. 

Sunghoon dropped to the floor and hung his head low. He felt like he was going to be sick. This was it. It’s all over. 

The nightmare clawed at the wall and door, its screeches barely being muffled. 

“What…” Sunghoon swallowed, “What is that monster?” 

You kept your eyes locked into the monitor, “A nightmare, its sole purpose is to hunt its prey. It’s unknown how it was created or what even created it,” You looked back at him, then faced the monitor again, “Get up! I need your help!” 

Sunghoon couldn’t move no matter how badly he wanted to. 

𐌔𐌵𐌍Ᏽ𐋅oo𐌍. 𐌋𐌄𐌕 𐌌𐌄 𐌉𐌍.

He cupped his hands over his ears, “It knows my name.” 

You whip back around to him, “Sunghoon!” You snapped at him, his eyes locking with yours, “Please help me!” 

It took every ounce of strength for him to move, “What do you need me to do?” 

You pointed over to the panel, “Once I finish overriding the system, you’ll need to flip those three switches back to back. An alarm will sound off and it’ll push the nightmare away and off to somewhere else on the station or hopefully off it. It’ll also start the countdown until this place goes up in flames.” 

Sunghoon nodded, shaking his head and focusing on the switches in front of him. 

𐌔𐌵𐌍Ᏽ𐋅oo𐌍. 𐌋𐌄𐌕 𐌌𐌄 𐌉𐌍.

“SHUT UP!” He screamed, clenching his fists against the counter, “GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” 

Those words alone were enough to prove your suspicions true: Sunghoon still had a neuromod attached to his brain. It made so much more sense on his reactions each time you’ve encountered a Typhon and even Jay. This was a matter to take care of once back on Earth. 

You kept your fingers moving until finally the override was completed, “Sunghoon! Now!” 

He flipped the switches and the alarm sounded not a second afterward. The nightmare let out a pained screech then everything went silent besides the alarm. 

“Come on,” you pulled on his arm, “We have fifteen minutes to get back to the escape pods.” 

But Sunghoon wouldn’t budge, “How does it know my name?” 

You swallowed, gripping your fingers tighter around his arm, “This isn’t the first time you’ve met it.” 

That’s all he wanted to know. All he needed to know. You could see it was all the information he wanted, so you pulled at him once again, his hand now reaching for yours and leading you to the door, “Let's get the fuck off this station.”

Fifteen minutes. That’s all the time you both were given to make it from the bottom of the station to the top. It took five minutes for the elevator to reach the bridge. Three minutes to rush out of the elevator and to the escape pods. 

Seven minutes remain. 

The minute Sunghoon whipped around the corner to the pods, his hands got to work on the panel. Trying to work as quickly as possible to start up the pod. 

But something wasn’t right. 

Error code. After error code. After error code. 

Your eyes widened at the realization: this escape pod has been tampered with. 

Six minutes remain. 

“FUCK!” Sunghoon slammed his fist against the wall and then rushed his hands through his hair, stepping back from the panel and squeezing his eyes. After ruffling his hair, he rushed back to the panel, once again trying to set up the pod. 

“Sunghoon,” you touched his shoulder, “If we run fast enough we can make it to the shuttle bay and escape on one of the ships.” 

Five minutes remain. 

“We don’t have time!” he snapped, continuing to try and bypass the error codes, only for one last message to pop up on the screen before shit hit the fan: 

ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜ — ᴊ.

Sunghoon gritted his teeth. He knew he couldn’t trust Jay. Knew nothing good came from that man. Sunghoon should have held him as a hostage until this point. You looked down to the metal floor. 

“We need to—“ 

Just then the escape pod launched. Both your helmets automatically clipped over your heads to protect you from the infinite space. The panel door not closing after the pod launch. 

Time seemed to have slowed for Sunghoon, seeing you get pulled outside of the station along with him. He managed to grip a hold of a safety bar with one hand, and gripping the strap of your suit's belt with the other. 

Warning signs flashed on the hud of your helmets, warning about the lack of air and safety. 

You tried to remain calm as you gripped your hands onto Sunghoon’s arm, trying and failing to keep your tears at bay. You were terrified. And so was Sunghoon. 

“Keep a hold of me, YN!” he shouted, trying to use all his strength to pull himself back into the station, “I got you baby, don’t let go!” 

Sunghoon pulled himself close enough to plant one foot back onto the station, his foot then slipping and grip tightening on the bar. 

Don’t let go of her. Don’t let go of her. 

You stared through watery eyes at your lover, watching as he struggled to pull the weight of both of you. You both were going to die here if he couldn’t pull you both back in. You’d both die with this godforsaken station if something couldn’t be done right now. 

And that’s when you made your decision. 

Sunghoon’s left arm gripping the bar was getting weaker and weaker, you could see it. Even after he managed to plant his foot back on the station and hook his leg around the corner for better support, he’d still need to keep his left hand on that bar. 

“Baby, I need you to listen to me,” he said, voice shaking, “I need you to try and reach for the station, okay? YN are you listening to me?” 

You were listening. But you already had made your mind up. 

“YN!” 

“Let me go,” you said calmly, eyes locking deeply with his, “I need you to let me go.” 

Sunghoon quickly shook his head, “Are you fucking crazy! I’m not letting you go!! Pull your ass back into this station right now!!” 

You could see his grip was slipping. He was about to fall out into space with you. 

“Sunghoon,” you said, tears streaming down your face, “I need you to let me go and get to the shuttle bay and off this station.” 

He shook his head again, gripping his hand tighter at your belt, “I’m not letting you go!” tears swelled in his eyes, head shaking again, “I can’t lose you! I just found you…I can’t…” 

“Sunghoon.”

He ignored you, once again trying with all his strength to pull you back to the station, the air escaping the station was making it hard for him to keep his grip on not only you but the bar and leg wrapped around the corner, “Baby, please!” He begged, “Please, don’t leave me.” 

You slid your hands from his arm and placed them on top of his fingers, the tips of your fingers curling into his fist. 

“Astra commands,” you said, the menu pulling up on your hud.

Sunghoon furrows his brows, “What the fuck are you doing?” 

Your eyes glanced up to the number on the side of the station’s wall to indicate which escape pod was once there, “Close escape pod door thirty, on my command.” 

Sunghoon shook his head once again, “YN, stop!” 

He tried to pull up the commands as well, voice cracking with each word as he tried to disable your commands, but unfortunately, he couldn’t. 

“Should have never given me access to everything on the ship,” you said trying to lighten the mood in some way possible. 

The tears now fell down his cheeks, “This isn’t fucking funny! Pull yourself in! Please!” He couldn’t take his eyes off you, “I can’t lose you, too.” 

He would have lost everything if you continued down this path. He cursed Jay’s name for fucking with the last chance you and he had at survival. 

You pulled at his fingers, “I love you.” 

He continued to shake his head, “No, don’t say it as if it’s the last time.” 

You weakly smiled at him, “Please get to the shuttle bay, you need to survive.” 

“You need to survive too!!” 

One final tear jerked from your eye, “I love you, Park Sunghoon.” 

“I love you, too,” he cried, knowing nothing was going to change your mind but still fought against your fingers, “Baby, please.” 

“Close the door.” 

You quickly pulled his fingers from your belt and shoved his arm back. 

“NO!!!”

Before he could watch you float into the infinite space, the door closed, locking him on the station. 

His helmet retracted back. His heart pounded out of his chest as he balled his hands into fists and repeatedly hit them against the door. Nothing came out of his mouth besides his screams. 

He didn't know how much time he had left nor did he even care. You were gone. The last important thing to him was gone. 

He tired himself out from screaming, dropping himself to the floor and hunched over. He lost control of his own station and company. He lost his memories. He lost his best friend. He lost the love of his life.

Sunghoon twisted himself around, resting his back and head against the wall, staring off into the distance and slowly closing his eyes. He made his decision: he wasn’t going to live without you. 

“Dr. Park.” 

“Go away,” Sunghoon opened his eyes to see the little white ball floating above him, “Leave me alone.”’

Nov tilted to its side, “My purpose is to make sure you follow throu—“ 

“This station is set to explode at any moment now, you kept your promise to the past me. Now leave me be.” 

Sunghoon knew Nov was just following directions he himself had given him, “I was created to also protect you, Dr. Park.” 

Sunghoon stared up at the ceiling, “I want to be with them again. Please give this to me.” 

Nov said nothing as it floated its small body down to his side, resting against his thigh. 

Sunghoon took a deep breath in, picturing the photo back in his bedroom of him, you, Heeseung, and Jake. The three people that meant the most to him even if he doesn’t fully remember it all. He pictured the photos that hung on his wall, all the memories he’d made with you, and the promise of how he was going to marry you once back on Earth. A promise he wouldn’t be able to keep. 

The only promise he could keep was never to forget you again. He’d die knowing that. 

The alarm of the station finally stopped as a tear ran down his face and he squeezed his eyes shut, “I’ll see you again soon, YN, Heeseung, and Jake. I’ll be there soon.” 

The corners of his lips curled as the last thing he felt was heat.

intro | part one | part two

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@hee-lvrr @1309zip @moon0fthenight

[imtrashraccoon]

It's here!

The long awaited chapter 2 of The Nightmare of Apathy is here!

While actually it's on my AO3 because it's way, way too long to put here...at 5,439 words. Chapter 1 was only 4,712 words and I thought that was a long one. Sheesh.

Anyways, I drew some art for some of the flora I ended up creating for it. Maybe go read the chapter first to avoid potential spoilers? I can't stop you though lol.

Star Fruit:

- This is the fruit of the wild growing Star tree. It's on the smaller side as far as trees are concerned and it's fruit emits a soft glow. The fruit has many facets and is shaped like a tubular star. It's peel is orange and almost waxy in texture while it's flesh is yellow and tart. It's leaves are dark blue and it has coiled vines on its stems. It is commonly baked into desserts or made into jams.

- Technically, I took inspiration from lantern fruits from Subnautica and the real life starfruits.

Glow Berries:

- The fruit of common wild bushes of the same name. These bushes have lots of small thorns on the stems making gathering the berries slightly difficult. The berries are purple and are most known for the bright glow they emit. The flesh is bright pink and it tastes slightly sour as well as acidic. They have dark blue leaves and grow the berries in small bunches at the ends of its branches. They are commonly baked into desserts like pies and other things, as well as eaten on their own.

- The name and idea was inspired by the berries of the same name from Minecraft. Otherwise, they are shaped like cherries but without the pit.

Moon Pears:

- Named for when the tree grows it's fruit, Moon Pears are a carefully cultivated fruit tree. While the tree itself can grow rather large, it is generally kept in arboretums and is trimmed to remain at a manageable size. The leaves are pale and go from gray to pure white as they mature. They are very rare and only a select few people keep them. As a result, they are very expensive and not many get the chance to try them.

- The fruit only grows when the moon is out and best when it is a full moon, meaning it takes a while to be fully mature. It is white and is sweet and juicy. They are basically like real life pears just attuned to the cycles of the moon.

I have like ten more plants and herbs I have made, four of which were featured in the chapter itself. If I end up drawing them, I'll definitely be posting them in the future. Would you guys like more lore? Cause I have lots more...it took me several days to write lol.

[omgpurplefattie]

MLC WIp Wednesday

Next chapter of the Star Trek AU, still Li Lianhua's PoV.

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^

Li Lianhua lost his way three times before he caught the correct turn to the arboretum, opened the door, and slipped inside.

Inside, there were fruit trees flowering in starlight.

It was ship's night now, the party being for the actual evening before the wedding indeed, and the arboretum followed this schedule, giving the trees a natural cycle of sorts. There were trees from many worlds, and not for every species, a 24 hour cycle was deemed natural. In fact, Earth hours were somewhat shorter than Federation Standard Hours, but the number 24 worked very well, mathematically — you could have three shifts or four shifts, you could administer time nicely and turn the lights on and off without any complex mathematics.

So it was dark inside now, the viewports were unblocked, and the starlight from the Eridanus 40 system shone on the flowering trees from Earth, Andor, Betazed, and many other inhabited worlds that grew things on trees.

Fruit, fiber, fuel.

Xiaobao had been right with his quip — some kinds of fuel did grow on trees, just not the starship or warp engine kind.

On one of the silk trees from Trill, a Klingon was perched, dangling his long legs while sipping something from a bottle.

"There you are," he said, proffering the bottle. "Prune juice?"

"Hell no," Li Lanhua said. "Why under the heavens are you even drinking that?"

"I like the taste," Di Feisheng said. "Dark and soft and fruity. Also, it doesn't make you drunk and doesn't make you hyper. I like a drink that doesn't make you anything, for a change."

"There is water," Li Lianhua said. "Or fruit tea. Or orange juice. You could even drink milk if you are into that."

"Eurgh," Di Feisheng said. "What an off-putting idea. No, I'm good with my prune juice, but don't have anything else to offer you."

Smoothly, he jumped off the branch.

[astarab1aze]

Viostra Notes

a lot of this is very messy and mixed in refinement; please don't mind the disasterrific amalgamation of nonsense that doesn't seem related but is.

Viostra is an extremely old city that was once sister to Miraglas. A land now cursed by Hydre to forever remain suspended in rot, decay, unending cycles, suffering, illness, mindlessness, starvation, and more for the crime of Knight-Commander Azfodel's constant push for war - and the eventual destruction of Miraglas in the War of Souls - and the pollution of the Enum Glais, the river of life, cutting through Viostra's cliffs and forested arboretum. As a consequence of the curse set upon them, Azfodel fell deeply into insanity upon returning home from the war, death and trash polluting the river, and thusly waged the Viostran Civil War, which saw to a much more...violent culling of the people than was seen in Miraglas despite some castles, healing houses, schools, the like still standing. This madness was much more deep-seated than you might thing, and in some ways reasonable -

There are and were many who sought to harness Fate, Destiny, Life, and Death and such natural cycles. Azfodel returned from a long and arduous journey to find his home littered with the rot of hedonism and inequality, an oppressive ruling class crushing its servile classes beneath. He was righteous and just once. The enemies of Viostra (Miraglas, Hydre), too, sought to destroy them and take over, to covet the river's clarity and power (actually, Hydre was pissed about his water being polluted). Then starvation began, civil war broke out, and war with their enemies, too, was waged. Chaos.

Azfodel, too, was revived time and time again, steadily becoming more and more influenced by the "river's will" (the curse). He was only corrupted by his own anger, his own hatred, as is often the case in the real world. Noble causes becoming twisted and corrupted by the selfishness of their actors. The 'river' took advantage of his stalwart yet obviously broken will. To protect what still remains. Or did it? Does the river have a will, or is Azfodel batshit? Is Azfodel a good and noble man even in his unlife, or is he corrupted and enraged by the suffering he's been witness to? By the suffering he was forced to take part in? Is the River protecting what remains of itself by calling in the souls of stronger heroes from other worlds? Reviving them, subjecting them to untold suffering of their own so they yet become stronger, to put an end to evermore suffering?

Much of the wanton violence is a direct result of panic brought on by famine, widespread cannibalism. But why were they starving? The civil war, the aftermath of Miraglas' destruction, the curse. A battle of attrition, really. The once beautiful, clear river now runs red with the blood of those caught in it all. You might imagine there's also a shitload of bodies floating around in there. And since souls are real, tangible things in this world, it is their remaining life force that provides the Trespassers with revival. In the end, the river, despite its hideous appearance and all that's polluted it, is still life-giving after all.

Mage Class

Abyssus Prima are a methodical, meticulous, neurotic, scientific, and extremely powerful sect of sorcerers specializing in Void Sorcery. And also extremely hostile. They developed gravitational magic, shadow magic, abyssal magic, and were at one point favored by the Viostran Crown, with a number of its alumni enlisted as Royal Court Sorcerers. They primarily dress in silky, elaborate robes and their colors are black, silver, and white. All void sorceries are characterized by the same monochromatic shades, a glowing abyssal shimmer.

They have a not so friendly but not quite confrontational with the Natura Prima, who are sorcerers dedicated to the school of natural magic, spells involving bestial sorceries, earth magic, and some healing magic. The Natura Prima lasted far longer than the Abyssus Prima following the Viostran Civil War, but they ultimately succumbed to the consumptive, disastrous chaos themselves. They were favored by the nobility and often hired on as private tutors or on expeditions of varying natures to be healers/support - that is to say, they were more respected than the Abyssus Prima by the people, albeit the middle to upper classes mainly. They are associated with brown and green as well as vine and floral motifs, and their strange, breathy style of incantations.

The Flumen Prima are the 3rd sect of mainstream, acceptable sorcerer factions and focus solely on water-related sorceries. They are considerably more mysterious than the other two and it is thought that their sect is much smaller in population; Elusive and woefully, dramatically enigmatic. They developed all types of combat-related water sorceries; Manipulating water in all its forms is a hallmark of their combat style, though they aren't particularly well known for engaging in battle. They are hermits all, and loathe to be bothered for anything by anyone. Naturally, they are associated with dark and light blues as well as wave patterns and 'fluid' spellwork.

They were once a unified coalition of sorcerers, but if they had a collective name, it is no longer known. Nor is it known why they are divided, though it may have something to do with events leading up to the civil war.

The Sightless Eye

Sanctuary of Eyes, The Eyeless Sanctuary, something like that. This faction's magic is referred to as Cosán Dall, or the Blind Path. Initiation is done through the voluntary gouging of their eyes, which they are to offer to what they say 'sees all, knows all, and teaches all' - they call this entity the Sightless Leighis (Irish Gaelic for medic/healer/etc; sounds sort of like yay-giss. ish, close enough).

The Killgarden (the actual garden of eyes) is a sort of defense mechanism for the Sanctuary. A maze-like garden surrounding its cathedral, full of horrible things for would-be trespassers to get killed by. This is protection offered to initiates, what keeps them safe within their sanctuary, both pre- and post-eye gouging. The Sightless Leighis is considered to be benevolent and incredibly wise, and is associated with the air and storms here; the colors green, gold, and light blue; the sigil a vine-laden half-open eye with Storm Flowers blooming at the ends of the vines, a three-ring pattern where the pupil should be.

Now, the Sanctuary is in utter shambles. Broken down, crumbling stone, rotted wood, collapsed roof and broken Cathedral Anatomy Things. Shattered windows, blood splatter everywhere, bodies everywhere. Sections of the garden burned, Duskmorne soldiers among the bodies. And a single Grand Cleric of the Rún Bás* in just the right spot to make her seem entirely out of place, perhaps up to no good... And also very much dead. This particular Grand Cleric was Bláthóir (blaw-hayr), which means 'golden flower' (Irish Gaelic is a little tough to work out lol).

*The Rún Bás are the Sightless Leighis' assassins.

The Duskmorne

A faction within the Viostran city-state that touts strict adherence to values of a bygone era. Their true beliefs are ultimately rather unclear, as their behaviors suggest they are hostile as a whole and unwilling to divulge much information. They are characterized by a mysterious sigil involving an archaic moon above a sun with three lines vertically slicing through them, and the colors purple and silver. In addition, their symbols are often accompanied by Viostran star-runes (runes drawn from constellations, both in terms of power and appearance). The moon is a primary symbol and water is the element they are most commonly associated with. Before the war that would plunge Viostra into utter, unceasing decay, Duskmorne was considered a respectable institution that merely didn't put up with being slighted; They were perceived as just and capable, spiritual and righteous as they were calculating and sometimes cynical.

The god they followed - the Maiden of Evenfall (Mausza, technically) - commanded reverence and brooked no quarter, thereby considered to be an 'unflinchingly harsh mother' to her Duskmorne. Structure, piety, and propriety are notable principles among adherents, as unbending loyalty, duty, and selflessness (specifically in regards to the Maiden) are virtues. Whatever Her will, they exist to fulfill it. They believe her to be benevolent, to 'know what is best' and act accordingly, even if they do not understand why. To question or challenge their faith is widely considered heretical as well as pointless; She is the answer, and to deny Her is to deny truth, reality, love, loyalty, and so on. To deny Her is to deny guidance and faith.

There are few adherents who managed to maintain their sanity - and life - after the War of Souls, but nearly all remnants are mindless and hostile shamblers without purpose. They sided with Azfodel, who was himself a Duskmorne adherent.

They are alternatively referred to as the Twilight Order and Duskmorne Knights, though they have other names.

The Maiden of Evenfall is believed to appear as an ethereal, beautiful young woman clad in wine-colored, hooded robes dotted in starry patterns and an archaic full moon, with hair that shines of 'starlight and polished silver' and dimly-glowing eyes. The breadth of her power is unknown but believed to be rather wide, implying she is all-powerful or at least close to it.

Some Items

⸻Crystallized Blood Stones, Soul Stones - Curiously, a human soul seems to have condensed and crystalized into a glowing orb. While its use remains unknown, there is undoubtedly a feeling of strength emanating from it, and it appears to invigorate whosever holds it… ( desc. courtesy of @melancholymirth )

⸻Wings of the Valkyrie, Valkyrian Wings - What appear to be the wings of the mythical gryphon, hide torn from where they were plucked, now fashioned into a cloak that promises agility, altitude, and the potential to glide for the wearer. Its exquisite stitching and decoration, contrasted against obvious marks of rugged wear, suggest that it once belonged to a warrior of high rank and privilege. ( desc. courtesy of @melancholymirth )

⸻Unnamed Restorative* - A reddish-brown liquid, with crystalline powder settling at the bottom of the flask containing it. Like dirty water in appearance, that's been allowed to settle, more red in hue. Almost the same shade as the Enum Glais, but with the crystalline sediment making it almost, almost, almost prismatic in the right lights. Gives it an air of oh yes this might NOT be poison! A sort of shine that's dulled over unknown lengths of time. A little river water mixed with crushed quartz and Soul stones, and a select herb or two.

⸻Champions' Ripclaws - Formerly belonging to a champion of blood sport, who also served bloody justice to those condemned to death under the rule of barbaric law. These claws were designed to effortlessly rip through even the thickest animal hides, to say nothing of what it would do to the doomed villain's flesh and bone. It seems years of dedicated use has not left the steel any more dull than when first forged. The padded, leather lining makes these claws comfortable to wear. ( desc. courtesy of @melancholymirth )

*It's common practice to know how to make things like this, though I suppose there would be a group or two specializing in medicine at one time or another. With the cannibalism in Viostra, a sect of Plague Doctors would have become a thing since people eating other people inevitably results in madness and disease - and some of them would of course be avid liars, charlatans, thus turning their sect into a target during the civil war.

[ntenvs3000f24]

Unit 2 Blog Post

My ideal role as an environmental interpreter would be focused on working with families and children, using nature as a powerful and dynamic learning tool. As mentioned in my previous post, nature has been a huge part of my childhood and learning. For example, I learned to do basic addition with tools in nature, such as rocks and sticks.

In my experience, nature provides endless opportunities for growth, exploration, and creativity, particularly for youth. Through hands-on experiences, children can develop essential life skills, such as problem-solving, creativity, and motor skills, while also fostering a deep connection with the environment.

During my second year at the University of Guelph, I had the chance to work in the Arboretum, where I creatively used nature as a learning tool. For example, we engaged in transient art, using natural materials like stones, branches, and leaves to create temporary art pieces that also challenged fine motor skills. This activity also sparked creativity and challenges while also showing a glimpse of nature's cycles.

*Image shows Transient Art Examples from when I got to work in the Arboretum*

I would love to continue this type of work and foster it to include nature-oriented programs that emphasize the importance of environmental stewardship and growth through nature. These programs could include nature-based play, walks/hikes, and hands-on experiences designed to help children and their families connect or reconnect with the environment while gaining new skills and knowledge.

To succeed in this role, I would focus on communication skills, creativity, and a deep understanding of nature and how it can support various forms of development, including cognitive, emotional, and physical development. I also believe to succeed as an interpreter it is essential to be driven, knowledgeable, and to understand that the roles around us are not "black and white". Approaches and responsibilities can depend on your personality, passions, and goals. Success in a role requires flexibility, the ability to adapt, and the awareness that interpretation is dynamic and evolves with every step and every interaction.

Overall, my goal would ultimately be to create enriching, beautiful experiences where families can grow together while gaining an appreciation for the world around them.

[jedi-bird]

Recently, in the interest of getting outside more and exercising, we got a membership to a local arboretum. It's pretty cheap (three visits pays for a year, five for two, and parking is free); lots of different areas to explore; lots of places to sit if we need a break; just far enough from home that we'll actually stay and walk for at least an hour but close enough to be easy to get to and from; next to a mall with a nice food court so we can grab food after that reasonable healthy. It's been fun so far and we've already paid off our years membership.

We convinced mother in law to get a membership and join us in weekly walks. Our goal is to go at least three times a week. It's been... an interesting addition.

Mother in law thinks that all plants are edible and can't be convinced otherwise. This leads to lots of us repeatedly having to say don't touch that, don't eat that, that's not food, etc. She's not senile. This is how she's been her whole life. Plants equal food and all plants look alike to her. And "in cartoons that drink water from cactus, so it's perfectly safe!" (Each time this comes up we remind her of the atla episode with Sokka and the quenchiest of cacti; she just giggles and says well obviously that one was fake.)

Cacti look soft and fuzzy to her and she constantly wants to touch them. She also has a really low pain tolerance and loves to yell and complain nonstop if she's hurt. I got the cacti touching to stop by telling her that she can go ahead and touch it but she's not allowed to complain about pain at all. She got very grumpy about that but has yet to try and touch another cactus in four years.

There is a waterfall in this arboretum. "Is this a real waterfall?!" (Well, yes, technically it is because the water is falling.) I told her no, it's a closed circuit fountain that feeds a pond before cycling back to the top of the falls. She got upset. "Why wouldn't they just build around a real one!" Lady. We're in the middle of a major city in a desert environment. There are no creeks, no streams, and no rivers near this park. She kind of huffed. "Well, I guess this was nice of them to build but it seems pointless if it's not real." Let's ignore the fact that she has a fountain in her house because she likes to watch the water.

I love this woman with all my heart but sometimes it's exhausting. At least the scenery is pretty and I get to be outside for a bit.

[burnwater13]

Grogu was doing a lesson with his dad and frankly it was pretty boring. It was all about learning to recognize the various types of people and critters you might find yourself trailing by looking at their footprints. Footprints! Some critters had footprints that were bigger than him and others, like the ones that tiny tickle mice leave were so small, Grogu had a hard time seeing them and he was pretty darn close to them compared to the Mandalorian. 

So, as his dad continued to drone on about the variation in temperature and humidity and how that affected the aging of a footprint, depending on soil make up and speed of travel, Grogu thought back to the time he spent in actual school. And he didn’t mean that crazy pirate school on Nevarro either with the droid teacher and the kids who were pretty selfish. No, he was thinking about the classes he took at the Jedi temple and the various classrooms they used for them. 

His favorite classes had been taught in the arboretum. It was a light and airy space and the trees, shrubs, and flowers were beautiful and generally smelled nice. Basic biology and life cycles were taught in that space, along with food systems, foraging, and healing techniques, new and ancient. Considering that food and healing were pretty high on the list of life’s necessities, it made sense to him that this was the space his masters used to explain the systems, elements, and  outcomes of each area of study. 

His least favorite class was data analysis and research techniques because of course that class was taught in the great library and while he loved the space itself, he didn’t actually love the one librarian who used to pinch his cheeks and talk to him like he was a baby. You can make that mistake once, honestly, but after that you were just being stubborn.

There were some outdoor areas that they used for courses on astronomy and astronavigation, but Coruscant rarely had clear skies at night and it was pretty hard to learn anything staring up at that sky. Of course that didn’t stop the masters from teaching the classes, but it did create an environment that the younglings could take advantage of to do something completely different. 

Typically, they moved into small groups and then into trios and then pairs. Then one pair would sneak off to the main temple and bring back something to share with everyone who was still there. Once in a while a pair failed to return and the younglings who remained took pride in coming up with more and more implausible reasons the missing pair were gone. 

But one night, just as they were walking out, Ian picked Grogu up and ran the other way. Grogu didn’t say anything. He’d learned not to ask questions when Ian did stuff like that. They finally arrived at the back door to the kitchen and just waited a moment. 

The door opened and a cart was pushed out. Ian said ‘thank you’ and they were off again. Grogu hopped onto the cart because Ian couldn’t hold him and push it. They went all the way back to the access door to the astronomy garden and quietly rejoined the group.

Grogu had no idea what Ian had set up. It was the one time Ian hadn’t blabbed his whole plan while they were running to implement the plan or running away from the aftermath of implementing the plan. He was just along for the ride. 

They waited there in silence and Grogu wasn’t sure why. He’d hopped off the cart because whatever Ian was going to do was going to be spectacular. He remembered how long that class lasted and they waited by the cart the whole time. Grogu had started counting random things he could see because he was so bored. 

Finally the class was over, but instead of everyone leaving, Master Quallish limped over to where Grogu and Ian were standing. 

“Well, youngling, what do you have here?”

“The staff from the kitchen wanted me to deliver this to you master. They said that you would understand.” Ian spoke calmly and quietly.

“Ahh. Very good. I had a conversation with the head of food services and they were of the opinion that this class needed something special. Apparently, two of you leave class every week and descend upon the food hall and capture all the cakes and cookies you can hold and bring them back here to distribute to your class mates.”

Master Quallish paused. 

Grogu wondered if they were about to be lectured and then realized they probably deserved it for not paying attention to the actual lesson. He sighed, ready for whatever discipline the old Jedi Master decided to place upon their shoulders.

“This week I decided that I would instead bring those items to class and see what you would do. I very much appreciate that you all stayed here and waited so long. Here. Have a treat. Next time, remember to grab a couple of cookies for me. I prefer the blue ones.”

And that’s what they did. They ate the cookies and cakes and made sure that Master Quallish had all the blue cookies he might want. 

Grogu wondered if Din Djarin would like a blue cookie… he would have to ask, once the Mandalorian stopped talking about how to determine the weight of a person you were tracking based on the depth of the footprint they left. 

“Master Yoda. Did Master Quallish really allow the younglings to do all that?” Master Kenobi asked his teacher and friend, as they observed Grogu from a certain perspective.

“Quallish wise was. Younglings rely upon each other learned. Negotiating skills also. Stealth. Trust. Patience.” The ancient Jedi replied.

“I see. Those things have served young Grogu well.”

“They have. Still needs them he does.”

[butcherlarry]

Exercise Fic Recs

I’ve always wanted to do a fic rec post 😄 

I was able to use my little tread mill everyday this week except Wednesday (work shenanigans 😠) and Sunday (today).  Sunday is when I go out and touch grass by going to the local arboretum.  They have some nice trails I like to walk, plus I can feed into my current birb obsession with their bird watching area. 

Both fics are by the same author, and both are Superbat 🦇👽

A Common Misconception by rotasha

Exclusive by rotasha

When I find an author I like I go through their work, looking for the ships or characters that I love.  I’m excited about this author because they have a lot of Superbat fics for me to binge (and walk on my treadmill while reading!) 😁 

I also like to go through an author’s bookmarks (if they have any), and look for the ships and characters that I enjoy.  I figure if I like how they write and the topics they write about, then I’m probably going to enjoy the fics they read too.  And find more author’s works to read through.  And then read through their bookmarks.  And then find a new author’s works to read through.  And then...you get the point.  (This is also why I had 70+ tabs open on my old phone.  It’s a vicious cycle.  I’m better on my new phone, it only has 9 so far)

Unfortunately, I won’t be doing a lot of exercising next week.  I’ll be traveling for work 😞  Although, I’m pretty sure I’ll be active the whole time, so I’ll still get my steps in!  And I’m definitely going to be reading fic when I get back to my hotel room to decompress, maybe I can rec those? 🤔 We’ll see!!

[lemonseeds-blog]

Vlad Journal | Prologue

"At the start of the night, he was as far as he could be without blatantly sitting elsewhere. But as we went on, it was as if we were pulled together, unconsciously. A force that we did little to fight against. The rest of the night…I’m not sure I could pen it here properly. (And perhaps should not?)"

This will be an in-character journal entry summarizing Vlad's thoughts from the latest episode of The Sanguine Society. You can find the public copy of this journal here, if you prefer google docs. This particular post is a bit longer than is usually to be expected, as it contains several entries; it is also mildly NSFW, though not all entries will be. If you like to listen to music while reading, I would recommend Elegie, Op. 24 for today's entry. I Hope you enjoy 🖤

Wednesday, April the 28th, 2023

I had kaffe und kuchen with Elenor today. She found me sitting in the greenhouse again, practicing for the show. She has been such a dear since I took residence here; accommodating my 'odd' hours and habits, with hardly a question. We chatted a bit, but my German is barely conversational these days. Shame I did not pick it up more, and leaving already. But it is nice to sit quietly as well. She says she enjoys my playing, and I enjoy her company. 3 decades has gone impossibly fast.

Friday, April the 30th, 2023

Louis Roederer Cristal Brut (2008) 1.5L

Colour: Amber, Sunlight 

Fragrance: wonderfully golden fruit

Savour: Opens bright and fruity; pear and apple. A bit bitter on the end; floral, but pollen

Paired with Crème Brûlée: slightly too much fruit for the dish, but lovely to sip afterwards

Transcribe to wine notes⤴️

Sunday, April the 1st, 2023

Performance with the company has been going well; we will have our final show tomorrow. And my final altogether. I will greatly miss living here. The town is quiet. This apartment is quaint, but has only gotten finer over my stay. The people have been kind and allow me to keep to myself. I think I could stay here for quite a while longer without being bothered. But it is time. Adăpost Manor cannot sit absent and idle, it is a waste. I will be meeting with Reya after the show tomorrow, and perhaps get some updates on the community while catching up. It really will be so good to see her, it has been too long. Too long since many things. When I left Adăpost, I thought I might put it up for sale before returning, but I have found myself longing more and more. To perform in the music room and to have the smell of good food in the kitchens. To sit and read in the library and to tend to the arboretum. The place has had many lifetimes already, and it will be good to get back and find footing in a new cycle. It is not a home only for I, after all. 30 years of selfishness is enough. 

Monday, April the 2nd, 2023

Aurelio was at the show tonight. Aurelio. 

It was no accident of course, Reya must have planned this. Though I am not sure why. I had no words, and am still in lack. After 60 years, suddenly, Aurelio walks through my place of work. I don’t know that I ever gave much thought on what I would say, if he were to return. I would not have allowed myself to dwell there. And yet, here he is. And here am I, at a loss. He was polite, as always; asking about my colleagues and the city. Feigning interest, at the least. But he was nervous too, if I am not mistaken. In some ways it was just like we used to speak; joking, laughing, touching.  And in other ways, he was more frightened than I have ever seen him. He has been traveling around Europe; backpacking and visiting family. He spoke often of loneliness, and longing for the familiar, so I offered to accompany him while he is in town. He surprised me with his enthusiasm, and then even more, with an invitation to the opera. A bold proposition, coming from him. But his excitement showed genuine, and after all this time, a night out could be refreshing. A date? 

My coworkers invited us to a drink and we spent most of the night at Schlenkerla, and before I knew it, it was nearly sunrise. The rest of the lot turned in after the bar stopped serving, but I was not yet ready to watch him go. So I invited him to join me, and he agreed, even without knowing where I would take him. I showed him to the greenhouse. 

His delight was apparent as soon as he saw the greenery and life growing over it.

"It's like a part of the old world reclaiming what has become modern" he says.

 I had forgotten what it's like to see the world through his eyes. I feel I have been missing much. We sat and talked and waited for the sun to rise. He told me more about his family; how he has been tracing his blood lines and finding the ends. How he's gotten close to some of the younger ones, despite his eccentricities. And now he is unsure of where to go next. It seems like he has grown; the travel must be good for him. As the sky grew lighter, his face glowed with joy in telling me about the different generations he's met. His love has always made him beautiful. The sun coming through the leaves and on his skin and filling the colour of his eyes…I could almost let him burn to see his beauty in direct light. But he lives in chiaroscuro, and my heart aches all the more in the limbo. I feel that the opera will be difficult, I am not entirely sure what he expects from me. But I cannot let nerves stop me. I cannot miss this.

Friday, April the 5th, 2023

Yesterday was beyond words, but I will do my best. The opera was lovely. The champagne was delicious. And Aurelio, a beacon of light in all of it. He sent me a letter, penned in his own hand, though I did not receive it until nearly too late. I hardly had time to put together something to wear.  He still dresses in his classic fine things, and wears them just as well as ever. I worried at first that I had overdressed, and that I would look quite the fool showing up at his place of stay in a tuxedo. But he knows me well, and suited for the occasion just as we used to. It was as if I had taken a step back through time, and this persisted for a good portion of the night. We shared looks, we laughed, we walked arm in arm and talked and talked. About the show and technology and travel and Vienna. I admitted to him that I will be returning. He seemed a bit excited at the concept, and said that he would like to visit. Apparently he has been searching for his sire, and thought he might be able to find more information at the Manor’s library. Perhaps he could have more casual visits, along with the research.  

He apologized as well, for leaving all that time ago. Though I wish he hadn't. To see the pain I had caused him etched on his face and then take the blame for it all. I can hardly stand it. But he would not hear of my reasoning, and seemed nearly desperate to explain himself. The least I can do for him is listen and accept an apology. He said he couldn't imagine being enough; that he had never stopped to ask how I had felt. It never felt like we needed to. The fact that he suited me in a fashion that no other could, always felt so obvious. Until it was too late, I suppose. It was a bit of a relief though, to finally know. He says he was afraid, and so certain he would lose me, that he somehow ended up making sure of it.  

“I had not felt the way that I felt with you for any one before, and that certainly frightened me”

My heart aches at the words, but I do not dare ask if he still feels this way. The reassurance of what once was, is enough. I brought him to the townhouse after the opera, to show him the stereo system and have some more conversation. Sat on the couch next to me, sipping wine and talking music, it was almost as if he had never left. At the start of the night, he was as far as he could be without blatantly sitting elsewhere. But as we went on, it was as if we were pulled together, unconsciously. A force that we did little to fight against. The rest of the night…I’m not sure I could pen it properly here. (And perhaps should not?)

“I don't want to waste anymore time”

My hand went to his cheek, without a thought. And our lips, meeting in a second. I am shocked for a moment, and look to his eyes to find a familiar fervor. He pulls at me, and the nostalgia washes over. The touch of cold marble, the smell of orange blossom. The look of his eyes, that of dark woods at dusk. My teeth at his neck, a taste of bitter iron; and a moan rising from his chest and vibrating in his throat under my lips. A groan that laments all the wasted time, and every second lost now between touches. 

Waste no time.

My hands move faster than my thoughts, strict, leading; his fingers are gentle, pleading as ever. As always. On neck, on shoulders, on chest. Our movements and his song flowing and sliding ever down and down.

I can still hear it. And this letter he wrote, I trace the characters over and over to see the movement of his hand in the starts and stops of the ink. This letter that he penned and touched and surely fretted over, I can almost smell the orange blossom on it still. Perhaps I shall write him back; it would be my move at this point, no? I would not want him to think this was a single affair to me. 

Saturday, April the 7th, 2023

He is not here. I had hoped to catch him for some coffee before I departed, but that may have been asking too much too soon. It was a fine evening, and we talked of many things, but perhaps that is all that he needed. A chat, a date, some closure. I was a fool for expecting more, really. One night with him again…It will have to be enough. I have so much to attended to at the Manor in any matter, it is long time tha

He’s here. 

He came to me at the train station. He is coming with me to Vienna. He will stay in the Manor with me. I can hardly believe the words as I scribble them with him getting settled into the train car. 

We're going back to Vienna.

[ahsoka-its-all-of-us]

For the assumptions about you game, some hype specific ones:

1) I get the impression you probably like strawberry flavored things?

2) I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn you owned a small but smart dog like a Corgi or maybe a terrier mix.

3) I can see you being someone who enjoys going to arboretums.

4) I bet you are pretty good at playing Clue.

Did I guess anything correctly?

Ooohh fun, thank you!

1) Absolutely, I'm a big fan of fruit flavours! Lemon and lime are my favourites, but any fruit will do. As long as I can remember, I've always favoured fruit flavours in things like ice cream over chocolate or caramel or anything like that 😌

2) I have a tiny rooster, does that count? I'm not actually that much of a dog person (and also would absolutely not have the time to properly care for one). To call my rooster smart, though... I mean, perhaps he's smart for a rooster?

3) I do! Though frankly I don't ever have time for it, I haven't even visited my city's botanical garden in years despite passing it whilst cycling to school and work every day for over ten years 😬

4) I have no clue (lol), I've never actually played Clue (and I don't know anyone who owns the game actually, I guess it's not popular here?)

[meera000]

Arboretum shadow selfi+ my hand (ellie's pics)

lovely day on the ground with my friends. i always get so sleepy after spending time in the sun, but in a good way. we set up some blankets in a shaded spot and ate and played a game and drew and chatted. after a bit i got up and lay down in the grass and rolled around for like half an hour. at some point felt like

(i stopped writing this post bc hayden came by and now i forget where that sentence was going. we watched margaux williamson's teenager hamlet which i am currently ,for lack of a better word, pondering)

but basically i forgot how much i need the sun and grass to roll around in. i feel exhausted but also so energetic: like i could jump up and down and then fall asleep,and it becomes a cycle. laying in the grass was deffo top 10 life moments… zero coherent thoughts except woww that's a long blade!! or realizing that i needed to stretch and then roll over. i hit the most insane stretch where i twisted my torso while keeping my legs in place. then i rolled over. literally i extended my lifespan with that.

[noloveforned]

no love for ned is back on the holiday train after ten years! tune into wlur at 8pm tonight for four hours of holiday hits. we'll be rebroadcasting the 2012 holiday show at 8pm followed by two hours of new holiday hits at 10pm. if you miss it tonight, don't fear as they'll both re-air (in reverse order) next friday!

last week was the annual 'best of twenty year ago' show. over the course of four hours we heard from over sixty different records released in 2002. if you enjoyed the show, you can also check out the previous six retrospective shows spotlighting 2001, 2000, 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996 and 1995.

no love for ned on wlur – december 9th, 2022 from 8pm-midnight

artist // track // album // label evil wiener // koo koo // evil wiener presents billy sugarfix's lost gumdrop kingdom // smith level tullycraft // twee // beat surf fun // magic marker dressy bessy // there's a girl // sound go round // kindercore luna // lovedust // romantica // jetset spoon // the way we get by // kill the moonlight // merge the guild league // jet set... go! // private transport // matinée the national splits // afternoon was tight // the national splits // kittridge dear nora // on to september // the new year ep // magic marker darren hanlon // hiccups // hello stranger // candle belle and sebastian // scooby driver // storytelling // matador bikeride // fakin' amnesia // morning macumba // hidden agenda masters of the hemisphere // anything, anything // protest a dark anniversary // kindercore the sinking ships // out of key harmony // out of key harmony // darla track star // feet first // lion destroyed the whole world // better looking esg // it’s not me // step off // soul jazz yo la tengo // nuclear war (version two) // nuclear war ep // matador the blow // jet ski accidents // bonus album // k ugly casanova // things i don't remember // sharpen your teeth // sub pop vermont // ballad of larry bird // calling albany // kindercore matt pond pa // measure three // the green fury // polyvinyl azure ray // the new year // burn and shiver // warm electronic aarktica // nostalgia = distortion // or you could just go through your whole life and be happy anyway (bliss out, volume eighteen) // darla sigur rós // vaka // ( ) // mca múm // green green grass of tunnel // finally we are no one // fat cat the notwist // one with the freaks // neon golden // domino family fodder // tender words // tender words ep // dark beloved cloud flin flon // chicoutimi // chicoutimi ep // teenbeat the capricorns // the new sound // in the zone // paroxysm the apples in stereo // rainfall // velocity of sound // spinart the flaming lips // fight test // yoshimi battles the pink robots // warner bros. of montreal // jennifer louise // aldhils arboretum // kindercore jason anderson // astronaut, astronaut! // something/everything! // k sleater-kinney // oh! // one beat // kill rock stars rhett miller // this is what i do // the instigator // elektra guided by voices // back to the lake // universal truths and cycles // matador elvis costello // forty-five // when i was cruel // island brendan benson // you're quiet // lapalco // startime the arrogants // the distance between us // nobody's cool ep // shelflife cinerama // careless // torino // manifesto saturday looks good to me // diary // love will find you // whistletap acid house kings // sunday morning // mondays are like tuesdays and tuesdays are like wednesdays // labrador the brunettes // holding hands, feeding ducks // holding hands, feeding ducks // lil' chief mirah // cold cold water // advisory committee // k destroyer // this night // this night // merge june panic // see(ing) double // baby’s breadth // secretly canadian doleful lions // surfside motel // out like a lamb // parasol unbunny // swans are fainting // black strawberries // two-ton santa julie doiron // all their broken hearts // heart and crime // jagjaguwar jeffrey lewis // the chelsea hotel oral sex song // the last time i did acid i went insane // rough trade little wings // look at what the light did now // light green leaves // k lambchop // the daily growl // is a woman // merge beck // guess i'm doing fine // sea change // dgc johnny cash // hurt // american iv: the man comes around // american richard buckner // born into giving it up // impasse // overcoat songs: ohia // blue factory flame // didn’t it rain // secretly canadian the mendoza line // the triple bill of shame // lost in revelry // misra okkervil river // westfall // don't fall in love with everyone you see // jagjaguwar the mountain goats // the best ever death metal band in denton // all hail west texas // emperor jones dqe // i'm your girl // i'm your girl // dark beloved cloud swearing at motorists // this flag signals goodbye // this flag signals goodbye // secretly canadian low // in the drugs // trust // kranky

[hamiltonsmotel]

Affordable Motels in Canberra: 5 Must-Do Break Ideas

Explore More Than Politics - Canberra isn't just about government; it's a treasure trove of experiences waiting to be uncovered. From natural wonders to cultural attractions, Canberra offers diverse activities without breaking the bank. Dive into this guide to make the most of your budget-friendly trip to Canberra:

Embrace Nature's Beauty - Canberra's proximity to nature is enchanting. Escape the urban bustle with a short trip to the National Arboretum Canberra. With 94 forests of rare trees, it offers stunning views, scenic lookouts, and captivating sculptures. Whether you opt for a guided tour, a cycling adventure, or leisurely strolls, the Arboretum promises an unforgettable experience.

Wildlife lovers should explore the Tidbinbilla Nature Reserve, boasting diverse trails, wildlife encounters, and picturesque picnic spots. Meanwhile, Namadgi National Park beckons with 160 kilometers of hiking trails and rich cultural sites, showcasing Canberra's natural splendor.

Discover National Treasures - No trip to Canberra is complete without exploring its iconic national attractions. Rent an electric bike or scooter from the Canberra and Region Visitors Centre for a lakeside adventure around Lake Burley Griffin.

Explore Australian and international art at the National Gallery of Australia, or delve into Australia's history at the National Museum of Australia. Both offer free access to their general galleries, complemented by cozy cafes and unique gift shops.

Other free-entry attractions include the Australian War Memorial, the National Library of Australia, and the Museum of Australian Democracy at Old Parliament House, each offering a culturally enriching experience.

Indulge in Culinary Delights - Foodies will delight in Canberra's culinary scene. Start your Saturday at the Capital Region Farmers Market for fresh produce and artisanal delights. From jams and sauces to pastries and flowers, this market caters to every food lover's dream.

For a unique dining experience, visit CBD Dumpling House for steamed pumpkin and prawn dumplings, or explore the diverse Asian cuisines at Tiger Lane, a hawker-style food destination.

Don't miss out on Capital Brewing Co., Australia's first carbon-neutral brewery, and Brodburger, a local favorite known for mouthwatering burgers. Indulge in craft beers and gourmet burgers while supporting environmentally-conscious and local businesses.

Relax and Recharge - After a day of exploration, unwind at Hamilton's Queanbeyan Motel, offering exclusive Accommodation Canberra near Canberra. With unparalleled comfort and affordability, this Accommodation Canberra allows for a relaxed stay without compromising on luxury. Just a short drive from Canberra, it serves as the perfect base for your budget-friendly getaway.

Choose Hamilton's Queanbeyan Motel for a memorable staycation experience near Canberra without breaking the bank.

Whether you're an outdoor enthusiast, history buff, or food connoisseur, Canberra offers something for everyone. With these budget-friendly ideas, pack your bags and discover the unique charm of Australia's capital city without overspending!

[leonbloder]

The Tree Of The Year

For the third year, a Polish tree has taken the No. 1 spot in the European Tree of the Year contest. The 200-year-old common beech pictured below stands at the center of the botanical garden at the University of Wroclaw in Wrocław, Poland. It’s aptly named “The Heart of the Garden.”

There are so many things that I want to say about this. I'll begin with the first question I asked when I read about this:

"You're telling me that there is a "European Tree of the Year Contest?"

Yes, that is exactly right. Each year, all European countries submit entries of individual native trees to be considered for the contest. And for the third year in a row, Poland's entries have won.

This year's finalists included a massive Weeping Beech from France and an olive tree from Italy estimated to be between 3,000 and 4,000 years old.

You should also know that this isn't just a beauty contest because the organizers of this annual event are also very interested in the stories of the trees that are entered. This is what their website had to say about the winner this year:

This monumental tree grows in the centre of an old park. Its majestic appearance impresses us with its unusually shaped and thick trunk, widely spreaded branches, and purple-coloured leaves that shine beautifully in the sun. The "Heart of the Garden" is living proof of an old park’s historic turmoil and dominates over the Arboretum situated around it. Upon a shadow of its great, widely spreaded crown, enthusiasts still meet - just like 100 or 200 years ago - united by their admiration of nature.

So, why am I spending so much time on this for a Daily Devo?

It's the kind of news we need right now instead of the endless, divisive political drivel dominating the news cycles.

But we also need to know that good people care about these things. The world needs people who want to know the stories of trees and who draw attention to Creation Care and the importance of being good stewards of our planet.

Each year, all of the trees entered into this contest are landmarks within the communities where they have survived for hundreds (and even thousands) of years.

As I reflected on this story, I was reminded of Psalm 1:3, which reads:

[A wise person] is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.

The Heart of the City tree has stood at its post for nearly 200 years. It has seen a city grow up around it. It has borne witness to war, Nazi occupation, communist rule, and revolution.

And still, people gather under it, seeking shade, connecting to Nature, and providing a sense of center for a community that has come to love and care for it.

As people of faith, we have a high calling to care for what God cares for. Scripture teaches us that God looks upon Creation and calls it "good."

I have read that some Christian thought leaders believe that Creation Care is a "distraction" from what they believe the Church's mission to be, which is "sharing the Gospel."

I can think of a few better ways to demonstrate our commitment to the Good News of how God saves them by showing how much we care for the beautiful and good world we've been entrusted with.

St. Francis called Creation the "Fifth Gospel" for a reason. He believed that if we were open to receiving the gifts and lessons that Creation offers, we would know God more intimately.

What are the landmark trees in your own corner of the world? What are the places of beauty that make your heart sing? Don't you feel gratitude that they exist and that you can enjoy them?

May we all find those places and landmarks around us, be still in their presence, and know that God is within them, just as God is within you.

And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always. Amen.

[cairfrey]

As a home, Arturus was pretty good. Lights mounted on The Hub, the central pillar that the domes of Fletcher and White settled on, maintained a day-night cycle for those living on the rim or working on one of the sixteen spokes that branched out from the hub and connected to the rim.

The spokes were marvels of engineering. Sixteen cylindrical pillars that helped the rim turn with The Hub also provided the station's green areas. Parts of the spokes were utilised for crop growth, arboretums, play parks, sports fields, lakes, and a whole host of healthy *outdoor* pursuits.

The rest of the district that surrounded any of the spokes is made of sleek white buildings that turn an eye-easy orange during the night cycle. Neon LEDs trace the outlines of the buildings and utilise different colours to represent anything from occupancy, to opening hours, to personal preference. The Home Owners Associations of some neighbourhoods could get unbearable when it came to these lights.

Arturus runs smoothly through a series of districts and guilds. The districts governed the people. Making sure that they paid their taxes and sending the police when they don't. The guilds govern employment, which gave the people the funds they needed to pay their taxes in exchange for a series of favours that they called "labour".

The heads of the districts, elected by those in their constituencies, and the heads of the guilds, chosen by any number of methods decided upon by each self-governed guild, comprise The Council and report to The Chosen 49th who is the deciding vote on all matters and answers directly to the people.

"The Chosen 49th" is an archaic reference to the earliest days of Arturus when The Council was limited to 48 seats. The Chosen 49th was an individual selected to be the deciding vote.