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apocalypticgargoyle · 3 years

Note

Dream smut or fluff where reader and him are high key mean to eachotjer despite having so many mutual friends, but then something (very vague i know I’m sorry) makes them have to get close and the develop feelings? Sorry I’m shit at requests but thank you!!!

i know this is shitty im sorry akjsdh bls forgive me

𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑. ♘ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

± warnings: dream being a dick, slight slut shaming, toxic behavior, vulgar/suggestive mentions and language, sexual harassment on a bus (not by dream, you can breathe)

⋆ song recommendation: When the Night is Over by Lord Huron

You pulled a blanket beneath your chin, yawning slightly at whatever the tv was playing. You only had it on in an attempt to drown out the noises coming from your roommate's bedroom as she smoozed her date. You were honestly shocked the two hadn’t moved in together yet with all the time they spent wrapped up.

Her door opened, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of you sprawled out on the couch. He marched toward you quietly, hovering over your shoulder. You peered up at her hesitantly. “What are you watching?” She asked, voice barely above a whisper. You furrowed your brows, opening your mouth to speak but she hurriedly cut you off. “Do you mind watching it at Nick’s instead?”

You raised your eyebrows. “You’re kicking me out again?” She gave you an apologetic smile, making you roll your eyes as you stood up and pulled on your jacket. “This would hurt less if they also paid rent,” you mumbled, with a small glare.

She thanked you repeatedly, holding onto your arm as you gathered what little belongings you needed for the night. “I promise I’ll make it up to you,” she courted, opening the door for you. “Tomorrow, dinner’s on me okay?” You sent her a tired look and she apologized again. She stopped you as you stepped out into the cold night, leaning through the space between the door and the frame. “Maybe you can cozy up to that Clay guy? You guys have such a good vibe,” she mocked, making you chuckle lightly.

You shook your head, waving to her. “Enjoy your night. Please, for the love of God, clean the bathroom afterward,” you called, hearing her laugh at your statement.

The bus ride was quiet due to the time of night and the weather, both of which you didn’t mind. You knew Nick’s house would be warm and loud. Before you knew it, you found yourself in front of his apartment door, kicking at the concrete ground as you heard someone stumbling to let you inside. The door opened swiftly, Clay’s large frame blocking the light from the kitchen. He leaned against the doorframe mockingly as he looked at you.

He wet his lips. “Who’s the lucky guy tonight?” He joshed.

You rolled your eyes, brushing past his body to get out of the cold. “Whoever’s dick you’re not sucking, I guess,” you quipped back, making him laugh darkly. You kicked off your shoes as he shut the door. “Where’s Sapnap?” You asked, shrugging off your jacket. You’d texted him ahead of time to ask if you could stay over, which he readily agreed to.

Clay sent you a smug look. “You guys have a fun night planned?” He made a gesture with his hand to insinuate you were there to give Nick a handjob.

You bit back a chuckle. “Why? You wanna join?” You shot back. He bit his lip and moaned pornographically.

“Cut it out, Dream,” Nick grumbled as he walked into the room. He pulled on your arm to follow him.

Dream scoffed exasperatedly. “Me? I’m not the one who started it!” He called after the two of you.

As Nick pushed you out of the room, you turned your head. “You most certainly did!” You answered. You heard him chuckle at your words as Nick shut the door to his room. You plopped down on his bed as he sat in his chair, swiveling to look at you. “Why does Dream pick at me so much?” You mumbled, fishing in your pockets for your phone.

“He’s jealous,” Nick answered absent-mindedly. “What's the date look like tonight?” He asked, referring to the reason you were there in the first place. This wasn’t the first time or the last time your roommate had kicked you out. It was becoming a more frequent occurrence for you to end up on Nick’s couch or at their place in the middle of the day with your toothbrush and a change of clothes.

You moved to lean into his pillows. “I don’t know, it's the same granola fucker she’s been hanging around,” you answered.

He rubbed his chin with a slight smirk. “There’s a subtle justice to knowing she’s still with that asshat,” he commented, making you snort.

A week later, you were on your way back to your apartment after a lecture when someone felt you up. It was the straw on the camel’s back for you as you spin around to smack the guy, stirring up a few of the bystanders. You’d walked the rest of the way home, stepping through the door to be met with your roommate and her hookup twisted together in the kitchen.

You clamped your hand over your eyes, mumbling about how you just wanted to take a nap when you were once again sent to Nick’s. You let subtle tears fall as you trudged your way across the city, hoping to get out whatever darkness you had to your attitude. The last thing you wanted to do was confront Clay looking like you did. He was like the troll with the keys to the bridge. That was really the only reason the two of you ever talked, so you knew he’d be waiting to berate you before you could get to Nick.

As you walked into the building, you spotted Clay carrying a large box, his hair slightly disheveled and his hands dirty. You knew almost instantly that he was probably attempting to fix the kitchen sink and got a call because of the size of the package. That sink had been dripping since they’d moved in, making it Clay’s mission to futz around with it every Friday afternoon. You tried helping him one time, only ending up with a deflated sense of confidence and the second wave of your childhood anger issues.

He nodded at you as you held the elevator door open for him. “What’s up, babycakes?” He chirped, popping his gum. When you hesitated to answer, he looked at you fully, scoffing. “Damn, walk of shame gone sour?”

You crossed your arms over your chest, inhaling deeply to try and calm your nerves. “I’m not really in the mood today,” you muttered, tucking your hands between your back and the wall.

He snorted, setting the box down between his feet. “You’re always in the mood! Isn’t that like your thing,” he continued to jeer. “You look like you had a fun night though-”

“Clay, stop. I’m serious,” barked at him. His expression twisting at your use of his name.

He raised his hands in mock defense. “Sorry, I thought we had---like a bit thing, um-” he cut himself off, awkwardly shoving his fists in his pockets. After a beat of silence between the two of you, the elevator came to a sharp halt on the wrong floor, the light switching to red. The two of you shared a look, knowing that the landlord was probably flipping the wrong switches again. Clay texted Nick to see what was going on.

It began to grow colder in the elevator, as it usually did. When it was off, the cold from outside usually seeped in through the elevator shaft. There was one time you were stuck in the elevator for a few hours with one of your neighbors and Karl when he had come to visit. Back then, the three of you played Uno on the guy’s phone. It was also summer, so the chill creeping up your legs wasn’t as intolerable as it was now.

You rubbed the arms of your sweater in hopes of generating some kind of warmth. Clay watched you carefully, his hands moving to grip the bar behind him. “Do you want my sweatshirt?” He offered. You shook your head, sliding onto the ground and hugging your knees to your chest. He hesitantly slumped down beside you, kicking his long legs out towards the door. The red light filling the space made his features look softer.

He nudged your arm gently with his own. “I know I’m not Sapnap, but…” he chewed on the inside of his cheek, shrugging slightly, “I mean, we’re stuck in here. We can talk about it.”

You blinked away the tears threatening to spill once again, your eyes burning and tired. “I haven’t slept with him, you know?” You stated, turning to look at him briefly before moving to sit cross-legged, planning with your fingers. “I’ve never even kissed him. I’ve never kissed anyone,” you scoffed. Clay was silent, but out of the corner of your eye, you could see him watching you intently.

Being this close to him, you could smell the smoky vanilla undertones of his cologne. The scent reminded you of a masculine version of the candle your aunt always burned when she went out for a night to spite her ex-husband.

Clay leaned his head back against the wood paneling, his soft blond hair flattening in the back to spread against the wall. You swallowed, sighing slightly. “I haven’t even had my first kiss yet and I’m getting groped on the bus and kicked out of my damn apartment because my roommate and her fucking boyfriend have to hook up on every surface. Nothing is sacred.” You shook your head, wiping away some stray tears with the back of your hand and sniffling pathetically. “You can keep making slut jokes, I don’t care. But I swear to God, I haven’t done anything with Sapnap. Or Karl, or Quackity. No one.”

He chuckled softly. “I know. That’s why I used to make those jokes,” he mumbled. “It was like… ironic humor. And then it got so far that the only way I knew you’d talk back to me was if I was fucking around with you,” he admitted. You chuckled slightly at his words, taking a deep breath.

“Oh, Dream,” you sighed. “I would have hooked up with you if you weren’t such an ass,” you chided. His laugh made you feel better. He held his hand out to you, more for support than anything, but as you laced your fingers with his, your heart eased, feeling safe beside him.

After a beat of silence, he spoke up again. "I can ride the bus with you now... if you want..." He offered, a shyness that seemed so foreign to his character shown through his eyes. "I promise I won't grope you," he joshed, making you roll your eyes.

"That's really not something we should be joking about," you mumbled, wiping away the rest of your tears on your sleeve.

His thumb brushed against the back of your hand soothingly. "I mask my awkwardness around you in dark humor. I'm sorry."

#dream imagine #dream fluff #dreamwastaken imagine #dreamwastaken fanfic #dreamwastaken fluff #dream x reader #dream x y/n #dream x you #dreamwastaken angst #dream angst #mcyt imagine #mcyt x you

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Forgive Me

a/n: this was a request and an angsty one

im so sad theyre banning tiktok!!! :(

anon request: okok haikyuu hcs part 2: oikawa’s the reader’s best friend because their moms were also best friends but they went to different kindergarten + elementary schools so imagine how excited they were to go to kitaichi together,, anyway reader is the manager (again) but also functions as a really skilled medic,, (oh yea they start dating in second year) anyway they hit third year and reader protects bb kags,, so they break up. fast forward and reader is now in another school (either in miyagi/tokyo)

part 1.5

part 2

requests open!!!

oikawa torup in da house

so in this one,

yall are the iconic childhood friends

for the sake of this headcanon, hes an only child

so to explain

your mothers were actually college friends and became best friends and were so close that they decided to live next door to each other and have a child around the same time

also to mention, their husbands were also best friends and a few matchmaking rituals, they all got married

omg i want a friend to do this w me

it worked and they got pregnant and imagine their surprise when one was expecting a boy while the other was expecting a girl

they were already planning yall wedding before you were even born lmao

due to the closeness of your mothers, ofc yall would be best friends and you and oiks practically grew up w each other

every friday night was your night so sleepovers happened all the time

however, when yall were starting to go to school

you both ended up in different schools

dont ask me why ask your mom

oiks was throwing a tantrum and just crying bc you would be separated while you were just clinging on to him, thinking he would disappear

‘no! n/n-chan and me are going together! im not going if shes not!’

‘now, now, tooru, youre both going to be apart for only a few hours’

‘mommy i dont want to leave tooru-kun’

‘youll walk home together, baby’

i would cry too

so yall developed a routine that tooru would go to your school to pick you up and you guys would walk home together

again, explain to me how little 6 year olds are able to walk to and from school

he would always hold your hand to keep you beside him and you would swing your hands while humming a tune

‘ugh, i hate being so far away from you n/n-chan’

you sighed but gave him a bright grin

‘i do too. but we have to wait until we’re older so we can be together forever! mommy tells me that her and papa were not together for a long time but after school, they are now together forever. so once we finish school, i can be with you whenever i want!’

tooru nodded, a determined smile on his face

‘we’re going to be like mommy and papa. we will be together forever and we’ll have our own house and we’re going to die together!’

bls theyre like 6 and already practically thinking about marriage and they dont even know it

sometimes, if you both have leftover money, you would both go to a convenience store, Sakanoshita Market, and buy milk bread

‘mister, you dont have anymore?’

‘sorry, kid, now go on and have real dinner!’

you both lived in each other’s houses and sometimes, your parents would even wonder if they have a child bc you would disappear off to the oikawa’s house or the l/n’s

when he met iwa, ngl, you were jealous

even though you have the best friends rights due to being friends since day 1, you were still worried about being replaced

ofc oiks knew about that concern and kept you from being left out so he constantly dragged you to play with him and iwa

they developed an interest in volleyball and you wanted to hang out with them so you sometimes tossed the ball to tooru who would set it to iwa

whenever they wanted to do something else, you would always suggest going on an adventure

meaning going to the park

uwu kids are so cute

your little trio formed and soon, you three were the closest

despite going to different elementary schools, you still found ways to hang out together

however,

instead of you being jealous of being cast aside by oiks

it was him being worried that he was going to be replaced by iwa

it became apparent when iwa mentioned about going over to your house on friday to study something

and tooru is petty so he was mad that you didnt invite him

there was no way he was going to let iwa take you from him bc he knew you first and he was the first one to announce his intention of getting married to you in the future

he was yours and you were his, plain and simple

he went to your house unannounced and used his key to enter the house

your mom peaked from the kitchen and greeted him

‘oh, hello, tooru-kun! y/n is upstairs studying’

he nodded and went up to your room where you were reading some notes while doing some homework

‘y/n-chan’

you looked up to him standing at your doorway

your eyes lit up and your cheeks flared to see him

bahahaha yes feelings

‘tooru-kun!’

his face crumpled up and he tackled you, hugging the life out of you tightly

‘y/n-chan! dont leave me! youre mine, not iwa-chans! im better than iwa-chan, okay?!’

ofc you were just confused but tooru was weird and youve learned to accept that over the years

‘tooru, we’ve been friends longer. i’ll always be yours and youre mine too so youre always going to be first’

he was all teary eyed when you said that and demanded cuddles and a movie after making him run all the way from iwa’s house

‘but i didnt ask you to, though’

‘you were still the reason i had to run so take responsibility!’

he might be a handful but he was oikawa tooru and you love him otherwise

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

as yall were settled and the beginning of e.t begins

baby oikawa was absolutely in love with that movie fite me

he asked you why you didnt invite him to study with iwa

you stopped and looked at him confusingly

‘tooru-kun, youre good at science aren’t you? iwa’s this 👌 close to failing just bc he mixes up solid, liquid, and gas’

this is a random fact that i made up so pls dont blast me about this !!!

oikawa stops then just doubles over laughing

‘ohmygod! iwa-chan!’

yall know that arm wrestling video and his stage actor just yelling out iwa-chan? yes im imagining that

you looked at tooru weirdly

‘hm, laughing over your friend’s demise, okay’

needless to say, oiks called you during lunch and sounded like he was running and it was bc he was being chased by haji-kun after he made fun of him

‘ugh y/n! why did you tell him that!’

‘i mean,,,, its pretty embarrassing’

now comes middle school!!!

!!!!

yall are finally able to be in the same middle school as your friends!!!

you were so excited and you wouldnt shut up about it bc youve been looking forward to the day that yall get to be together everyday

not that you didnt have friends in your old school,

you just preferred being with the guys since you werent into the girly things yourself

and you get to see tooru everyday since he was in your class

oiks and iwa immediately wanted to join the volleyball club and they were soon accepted so it was only normal for you to be in practice a lot

you didnt join a club since none really interested you so it was okay for you to go the gym and do your homework while they practice

there was no choice on staying either since you usually walked home with them since oiks lived next door and iwa hung out at either your place or his

the current manager of the team noticed your friendship and frequent appearances so she asked you to be the manager rather than just being there

you didnt really have a choice bc oiks agreed for you and excitedly told you that you were going to be with them for the next 3 years

‘everyone! thank you for the past 3 years!’

hehe i just died inside

tooru was so happy that you would be in volleyball bc that was two favorite things lumped into the best 3 hours of his life: volleyball and you

so thus started your managerial duties

you became friends with the team but was closer to the first years

you quite literally watched them grow into amazing volleyball players and you sometimes cried along with them when they either got hurt or lost

specifically during the shiratorizawa match

it was then that you were sure of your feelings for your best friend

as he wept in the locker room, you stayed by the door, unsure if you should go in or not

but the others have gone to the bus already and iwa wanted you to go and get oiks ready so they could leave

so, you entered the room and your heart dropped, not even noticing the nasty smell of sweat in the boys locker room

he was hunched over the bench, a towel over his head

sure, he was just a first year and he has more opportunities to win

but it was the first time oiks experienced such a loss

and that smug look that ushijima gave him as he sat on the floor

you saw the defeated look as you stood with the coach at the bench

rushing forward and kneeling in front of him, you hugged him tightly

he cried, both defeated and embarrassed, but he didnt let go

it was then that you vowed to be there for him whenever this happens

every loss, every defeat, youll be there

it was painful and you had a feeling that this crush on him would make it harder in the future but you didnt care

bc tooru looked the most beautiful when he smiled

by now, second year has started

youve obviously noticed that your now second year friends are working much harder

and they were gaining more popularity

bc this was the age where puberty starts hitting everyone and lets just say god decided to bless the volleyball team

it shouldnt have surprised you that they were going to be known in the school or prefecture bc they were talented and handsome

perfect recipe for a dream boy

what was only a confession every few weeks or so, turned into nearly a dozen in a WEEK

dw you got some too!!

as a manager, you knew it was going to be a hard job being the only female in a team full of boys

but you didnt expect it to be this bad

girls would corner you in every hallway, outside or inside, to either give you their love letters to oikawa or to threaten you to stay away from their grand king

lmao king okay

and dw, you told them to catch you outside by chipotle after school but they didnt show up

that nickname seemed to get into oikawa’s ego as he told you about his love for that term

as you three walked home, oikawa was telling you about this one girl who called him her king and he giggled at the thought

‘she told me that she wanted to be my princess! but i told her i was a king so she should settle for a prince like iwa-chan’

you laughed at iwa’s angry face

‘shittykawa why am i downgraded?! you think youve above me or something?!’

‘PRINCE IWA-CHAN! HAIL PRINCE IWA-CHAN!’

you howled causing iwa to glare at you

‘not you too y/n!’

you were laughing so hard that your face was red and it got worse when iwa gave you a noogie

but little do you know, oikawa was looking at you at the side, trying to gauge your reaction

you didnt seem to be bothered at the fact that some girl wanted him to be theirs

that was why he frequently told you about his confessions

tooru wanted to know if you still felt the same about him being always yours by telling you stories about the girls and if you were jealous or not

but you remained indifferent and just laughed along

however, you WERE jealous but you didnt show it

youre like ‘im a bad bih you cant kill me’

with all these much prettier girls and talented girls than you, you were sure he would find somebody else

as long as he was happy and smiling, you were going to be just fine

again, another PSA! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT BC YOU ARE THE KWEEN TO GRAND KING TOORU AND YOU RULE THE WORLD BC YOU ARE A BAD BIH AND YOU WILL NOT BE KILLED BY INSECURITIES!!

tooru was lowkey hurt about you blushing with iwa and not being bothered about the threat that was looming in the distance

so he practiced more, slightly regreting now that you were in the team

he was being an insecure little bean again and suddenly hes thinking that you and iwa seem to be interacting more (even though you werent) and he was being jealous and this caused him to be slightly more irritated

with all of his practicing, he ends up hurting himself more often like bruises and such

that worried you deeply bc he was practicing too much and pushing himself way too hard and you knew he would combust any moment now

this energy seeped into the others and theyve begun to be more intense during practice and you were sure they were wearing themselves out

youve expressed your concern to the coach about the bruises on their skin and their wincing at every movement

‘the solution to this, y/n-chan, is to study about this and be the medic that helps heal our soldiers’

with that request, youve started taking more trips to the library, staying up late reading medical articles, and buying pain relievants and medical tape

this was when you decided you wanted to be a sports therapist or an injury related profession in the future

so you were obviously prepared when you caught oiks practicing late again

you were actually stocking up some medical supplies when you were passing by the gym and found it still open with lights

he was practicing those damn service serves again and you were starting to get irritated when he didnt listen to you about not pushing himself too hard

‘tooru-kun, lets go home’

your voice resounded from the loud sounds of the balls hitting either the floor or wall

he gritted his teeth

‘i need to do this. i need to be strong enough to beat ushijima. i need-’

‘tooru-kun, let’s go home’

(reference)

but he didnt listen to you and spiked once more but he didnt land back on his feet

but on his knee

tooru made a sound of pain

your heart started beating really fast and you busted out your bag that had emergency supplies

tooru saw you kneeling beside him and for a second, the pain subsided and he was only focused on you

the way your stray hairs from your bun framed your face and the delicate eyes that were so focused on bunching up your kita jacket and using it to elevate the sprained knee

‘ice. i need ice’

you kept mumbling and was about to stand up but his hand flies to clutch your arm

‘y/n-chan, please dont leave me’

‘but its going to swell-’

‘i dont care. i need you right now so dont leave me alone’

you stared at each other, one slightly irritated while one was begging

‘i told you that you were going to hurt yourself if you push too far and look where you are’

‘but it hurts and i need affection to cool it down’

‘N O, tooru, what you need is proper treatment’

‘cuddles are considered treatment, you know’

‘we’re literally in the middle of the gym-’

‘i dont care’

he gave you those puppy eyes and you harshly looked away to the side

then you sighed before sitting down behind him and holding him in your arms

he was content with your affection and your familiar cherry blossom perfume engulfing his senses

his back was rested against your front uncomfortably while your arms were around his middle where his fingers played with your hands

it was silent for a moment except for his occasional hisses of pain but he decided this might be the time

at this point, he was hurt already so he doesnt care if youd reject him since the pain in his knee would cover the pain of his heart

hes like 14 what he poetic and deep for

‘ne, n/n-chan’

‘hm’

‘go out with me?’

your arms tensed and he squeezed his eyes shut, prepared for the rejection

‘only if you stop doing these late practices bc i want to have dates with you after school’

oml oikawa was so happy

like so happy that he just turns around excitedly and hugs you, competely forgeting about the pain in his knee

‘omg tooru your knee!’

‘ow! ugh!’

so thus began your relationship

anon, im very reluctant to make this fluff to angst

he stuck to his word of not going too far with his late practices and yall often had dates at the park, the convenience store, or just at home

ofc it wasnt everyday but it was close to it

everything was great in the world bc you had your best friend as your boyfriend and he made you so happy

during the summer, you began being an apprentice to your uncle’s clinic to further advance your knowledge in the medical field

that meant less time to spend with tooru which meant sulky tooru

this often caused arguments between you two since he always brought it up

‘n/n-chan, i miss you!’

‘i miss you too, tooru-kun. but i have to continue this so that i can be a better medic for the team!’

‘but i matter more than the team! n/n-chan!’

that was his problem. he thought that now you were dating, youd be revolving him 24/7 and he was everything you thought about

but you still had a life to live and prepare for

you sighed before sitting next to tooru on the floor

‘i finish at 2. then we can go get some milk bread and hike up that trail in time to see the sunset. sound good?’

that made him brighten up and you were dreading of repeating this same cycle again in a few days

but you actually liked this boy and even could say you love him despite his clingy and slightly obsessive personality

when your third year rolled around, oikawa was finally the captain of the team

you were now on the hunt of another manager to take over for next year but so far, its been hard

theyve all been fascinated by the boys, especially oikawa, making it a hard task

during the practice, you notice that tooru has been different

to the others, he was fine

but to this one student, kageyama tobio, he was cold

harsh, even

it wasnt like him to treat his kouhais like that so you were confused and obviously worried for a player on your team

you pulled him aside one day and you asked him what was going on

‘tooru, why are you being mean to kageyama?’

he just smiled, but it was much more different

like a whole different smile youve never seen

‘hes the first setter ive met who is an underclassman. im just trying to toughen him up and shape him to his potential’

but you crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow

‘by criticizing every single movement he makes like breathing? by constantly embarrassing him in front of the others? by isolating him from everyone else?’

his eyes twitched and his grin got wider as he gently held your hands

‘we’ll talk about this later, n/n-chan, kay? now, i need to get back to practice as captain and you can continue being the manager’

to be honest, you were kinda pissed

‘no, tooru. you need to stop-’

‘y/n? stop it. this is a stupid thing to argue about so drop it’

boi watch yo mouth

but you didnt push further to not make a scene so you went to kindaichi and gave him his bottle and a towel to kunimi

it was tense between you and oikawa for the next few days

the team could pick up on the weird energy but refused to say anything because hello you were their mom and oikawa was their captain

but iwa didnt care so he straight up asked yall as you were taking spiking notes

‘oi y/n, shittykawa, did you argue or something? its kinda tense in here’

the entire team froze and even the coach looked between you two

lmao i love the coach

‘hm, y/n-chan and i just disagreed on something, didn’t we, y/n-chan?’

oikawa turned and gave you a grin

to others, it wouldve looked real and so convincing

but to you, you knew it was fake

thinking back on it, you shouldve known that was the beginning of his new persona

whenever you pointed it out, he would deflect and you wouldnt stop until he told you what was going on resulting more fights bc he was not doing his vital share in this relationship: communicate

‘tooru, listen to me!’

‘no, y/n-chan. im busy so later’

then it became like that

‘later, y/n-chan’

‘after this spike’

soon after, it felt like you didnt even have a boyfriend anymore

even iwa was starting to notice something weird since oiks was doing this to him too

he was distant, focusing too much time on volleyball which took a toll on his health

and he was getting angrier at tobio for unknown reasons

but these reasons soon came to light when that unfortunate day came

you were waiting for oikawa to finish up his practice so you could also pack up the balls and go home

iwa was already packing up to leave so it was only you oikawa and tobio remaining in the gym

youve talked to kageyama about tooru before and you encouraged him to ask oiks how to serve bc he was really good at it

today he was asking again but you already knew that he was going to refuse him like he has before

but you didnt see this coming

you saw him start to raise his hand with this manic look in his eyes and your eyes widened, running full speed towards kageyama

nYOOM

we finna change this up so buckle up babes

instead of kageyama, you pushed him aside so you took the hit

the force and the intensity of the slap was equivalent to the ones he used to his serves causing you to fly to the floor

you were breathing heavy, tears threatening to fall from the throbbing pain on your face, yet you didnt move

then your head turned to look at kageyama before giving him a nod and a smile

‘g-go to iwaizumi, tobio. he’ll take you home, kay?’

he looked unsure, looking between you and oikawa but your long blink and small smile told him that you would be okay

he ran to the exit and disappeared from view

it was now just you and oikawa

on the other hand, he remained frozen

he didnt know if he should grovel on his knees or cry to forgive him

‘n/n-chan-’

‘dont’

in all the years youve known each other,

from the very beginning in your diapers,

youve never spoken to him in such anger, venom, and hurt

‘dont say another word to me. dont apologize to me. i did what a normal person would do and protect an innocent child from something he doesnt deserve. he was just a child, tooru’

you stood up, eyes still not meeting his, instead focusing on his taped fingers that used to hold your hands with such gentleness and touch you so softly

‘what happened to you, tooru?’

you whimpered, arms wrapping around yourself

he was lost

he didnt know what to do

he had his own tears falling and he stepped forward in instinct to go to your arms but you flinched and backed away

that caused him to sob before throwing himself on the floor in front of you

‘y/n, please. y/n forgive me. i didnt mean to! please, y/n!’

part of you wanted to think that he was just so stressed out for the incoming interhigh that he wasnt thinking straight

but you knew you were just making excuses

this relationship started falling apart the moment you started your third year and you were just trying to hold it together

it was like holding water on your palms yet ignoring the water that was spilling on the side

you can only ignore it for a short while until eventually, the water is not there anymore and youre suddenly asking yourself, ‘where did it go?’

and now youre asking yourself, where did you go wrong?

was it your fault?

‘tooru, for months, ive made excuses for you. many times ive tried to sort out our problems, yet you always made excuses to not talk about it. it takes two to dance in a relationship yet it feels like im just dragging you in circles. we’re going in circles, tooru!’

he looked up at you, slowly standing on his feet with hands hovering over your shoulders, afraid to touch you

‘i can make this right, y/n. forever, right? you promised me years ago that we’d be together forever! we would get married a-and live together and be like mom and papa, right?!’

you choked back a sob at his face

he looked like someone else

he wasnt your tooru

he was the oikawa tooru that held you as you tried to walk

the one that pulled you back up to bed when you rolled off

the one who purposely tripped himself during your first year when you slipped so that you wouldnt be embarrassed in front of everyone

this was a selfish, jealous, tooru

the same look he gave you when he found out that you were studying with iwa without him

‘you hated tobio because he was a good setter, right? you were jealous and scared that he would take your place? was that it, tooru?’

that was then he really realized that you were the only one who could read him like you were reading a book

a single glance and you knew right away

and you calling him out on it allowed him to figure out why he truly didnt like tobio

and it was embarrassing that you said it out loud

and when oikawa tooru was embarrassed or flustered, he deflects

and it usually ends up badly

‘jealous? dont make me laugh!’

he scoffed while you glared at him

‘then what was it, then tooru? why did you do that, huh? because by the way youre acting right now, youre nothing but a green-filled monster. man, you seriously their captain?’

‘shut up, y/n!’

his personality took a whole 360 and you stepped back, scared he would lash out again

‘you dont know anything! you dont know how its like to feel second place from that bastard ushijima. you dont know how its like to feel threatened that your own kouhai could possibly be better than you. you dont know how it feels like to not feel enough no matter how many hours you practice or serves you hit. you dont know anything, y/n-chan’

he hissed and you shook your head in disbelief

‘so to satisfy your own insecurities, you hurt and put down others just so you could feel better about yourself. that just proves you are no longer the tooru i know.’

‘well i dont need you, then!’

you were taken aback by his shouts, composure now broken

‘im not him anymore so you either take whats in front of you or leave!’

at his suggestion, you narrowed your eyes

‘dont make me say my choice because you already know what im going to say’

despite knowing youd say that, part of him still wanted you to at least stay

but he was hurt and he wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt him

‘then leave! i dont need a distraction in my life anymore! you no longer satisfy me! so go!’

the tears now fell and you opened your mouth to say something but you closed it, replacing it with a sob

you bit your lip to compose yourself and swallowed that lump on your throat

‘fine. we’re done, oikawa tooru. and im sorry if i was a distraction to you for the entire 15 years of life we spent together. i can assure you that you will no longer have to put up with me’

then you left

nyoom?

you tried not to think about it bc you were only 15 and you were young so this wouldnt be the last time youd feel love

but not only did you lose a boyfriend, but you lost your best friend

and this is when you realized that best friends are only meant to be best friends

nothing more, nothing less

your parents knew nothing of what transpired and blamed your bruise at running into something bc you didnt want to strain the friendship your mother and his had if they found out her son hit you

family dinners were awkward and your parents kept asking until theyve just figured out that you were fighting

for the rest of your lives

iwa didnt know either

you made kageyama swear to you that he wouldnt say anything and you were relieved that it wasnt his business to say anything to someone else anyways

it was a secret that remains between the three of you

all was known was that you and oikawa broke up and you acted like he wasnt even there

if you had a problem, you went to iwaizumi since he was the vice captain

other than that, you no longer interacted with oikawa

it was an obvious thing that you wouldnt go to seijoh and your families were confused, wondering what the heck happened

‘y/n? youve wanted to go with tooru to seijoh since you were younger so what changed?’

‘people change’

tooru changed

instead, you went to karasuno

it was a suggestion from the guy in the milk bread store after you expressed your dilemma of finding a high school

‘karasuno’s right up there, kid. it’s not that far of a walk, right?’

‘i guess youre right’

during your first day of high school, you were shutting the gate when you saw iwaizumi and oikawa by his door

iwaizumi raised a hand in greeting and you smiled at him before walking down the road

‘i still wont force you to tell me but just know, you either fix it or get over her’

iwaizumi cautions tooru who kept his eyes on your slowly getting smaller figure

‘but i cant fix it this time’

you disassociated yourself from volleyball for the rest of years until a good friend of yours, kiyoko, asked you to help her manage the boys

she asked you to just help her out during your last year and you agreed since shes done a lot of things for you over the years

‘we have a practice match with aoba johsai on tuesday so you think you can come then?’

you froze, not knowing what to say

but its been years and you no longer cared

besides, you still felt protective towards one of your former baby chicks kageyama and him being there with that guy worried you

so you agreed

on your way there, kageyama stuck close to you since you were the only one he trusted there

‘are you okay with this, y/n-san?’

you squeezed his arm with a smile

‘it’s okay, tobio. besides, iwa told me that kindaichi and kunimi are there and i miss them so’

the boys and you started unloading their bags and kiyoko asked you to go and fill their bottles in case

the gray-haired setter, you knew as sugawara koushi, accompanied you to carry them so you were filling them up as he held the container of empty bottles

‘the boys are going to be good, you know. and dont worry about kageyama. hes extremely talented and we could win easily’

you gave him a reassuring smile and he nodded

‘i have faith in our firs-’

‘y/n’

a voice from behind you made the hair on your arms stand and you saw him there

he was shocked to see you there bc last thing he knew from iwa, you no longer had anything to do with volleyball

but here you were, in his castle, with an unknown person beside you

suga noticed your tense form and placed the box on the floor

he put a hand on your shoulder and made you face him

‘you know him, y/n?’

but you only gave oikawa one more look

‘no. not anymore’

oikawa screamed

yall that one last line is not relevant to the story but i put it there since someone pointed out that oikawa was always screaming and i thought that was a funny comment

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et-lesailes · 4 years

Text

hot young neighbor

pairing: andy barber x reader

word count: 2233

summary: you’re not expecting such a sexy next door neighbor upon moving into your new home. you already know you want to make a move, but he seems to do it first when he invites you over for dinner.

themes: smut, age gap, oral sex

taglist: @evanstush, @tanyam93, @bval-1, @wonderwinchester, @patzammit, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @sammyslonglostshoe, @jadedhillon, @bohemian-barbie, @whysparker, @sebastian-i-stan, @sebabestianstan101, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @heyiamthatbitch, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @bangtan-serendipity, @troublermalik, @beardburnsupersoldiers, @bookish-shristi, @kind-sober-fullydressed, @gingerninjaprincess16, @straightforwardly, @denisemarieangelina, @frencchfries, @xlanawriter, @littlemoistcarrot, @pottxrwolff, @arianatheangelworld, @ifuseekamyevans, @southerngracela, @nsfwsebbie, @rororo06, @savemesteeb, @raveviolet, @inactivewhore, @hurricanerin, @captainamerica-is-bae, @shaddixlife, @tessa-bl, @marvelouspottering, @pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc, @thegetawaywriter, @dwights-new-plague, @rynabarnesrogers, @fckdeusername, @doloreschanal, @ssworldofsw

notes: sorry, this was supposed to be posted earlier but my laptop was getting fixed! hope you guys enjoy!

You’re going for a run in your new neighborhood when you see him.

You had just moved in a few days ago, and while you had already gotten to introduce yourselves to a lot of your neighbors, he’s the one you’re most interested in, and haven’t gotten a chance to talk to yet, either. He lives in the house right next door, and you sometimes see him from your window when he’s pulling up in his driveway or on the lawn throwing a football with whom you assume to be his son. You have yet to see a woman around, though, which pleases you.

He’s hot. Sexy, really, you’ve never seen someone as attractive as him. While casually digging for dirt when talking to the other neighbors, you only know his name and his occupation, but nothing about his love life.

You glance down at yourself, happy that you’ve chosen your cuter workout apparel consisting of a sports bra and matching leggings. Coming to a stop in front of his house, you call out just as he’s about to open his front door, his arm carrying what appears to be takeout.

“Hey! Sorry to bother ya, I just wanted to introduce myself- I just moved in next door.”

He turns around and although it’s quick, you notice his blue eyes take in your appearance. Your entire appearance. Just what you wanted. A charming but genuine smile crosses his lips, nearly making you swoon. “Oh, hey there! Sorry, I’ve been meaning to come by to say hi. Work’s been crazy this week, though, hence-” he pauses to nod towards the bag, “- Chinese for dinner tonight, no time to cook.” He sets the bag down by the door, though, coming over to you and extending his hand. “I’m Andy.”

Now it’s your turn to eye the perfectly form fitting outfit he’s wearing, that coat, the button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, the tie, the dress pants. “You must work somewhere fancy, huh?” you tease (even though you already know). Shaking his hand, you reply, “Y/N. Nice to finally meet you!”

He laughs, and the mere noise in itself is arousing. It’s so warm and deep, you want to hear more of it. “I’m an assistant district attorney. And it’s very nice to meet you, too.” You swear you catch a bit of an emphasis on that “very”, and you smile up at him biting your lip. “I’ll let you get back to dinner, I’m sure your family must be waiting.”

“Actually,” he sighs, looking back towards the door before looking at you, “it’s just me tonight. My son, Jacob- he’s at his mom’s place for the weekend.” He suddenly tilts his head. “Would you wanna join me, actually? I got way too much food, to be honest. Got a little overexcited when I was looking at that menu.”

You can’t believe how lucky you are- sure, you wanted to get to know your incredibly cute neighbor, but you never thought it would happen so fast and so smoothly. “Really? You’re sure? Because that sounds great.” You smile, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I still have, like, no food at home. I’ll just go take a quick shower first, I’m kinda gross and sweaty right now.” You laugh, and he chuckles too. “Gross? No way. But yeah, sure, come on over whenever you’re ready- I’ll leave the door unlocked.” He gives you a smile and you return it, trying not to look as eager as you are as you turn back to your house to get ready.

Dinner with Andy is amazing. The two of you sit at his dining table and talk the night away, chatting about everything under the sun. He’s a perfect gentleman, always offering a drink the second yours is finished, urging you to eat more, and not even taking any phone calls while he’s in the middle of conversation with you. After eating, the two of you decide to watch a movie together- it’s Friday night, after all, neither of you have anywhere to be the next morning.

You’re walking to the living room when you notice a family photo on the credenza. “Is this Jacob? And your… ex wife?” you question, picking it up and observing it with interest. “It’s a really cute photo.” He looks over and nods, barely smiling though shrugging slightly. “Yeah. It was taken kinda recently, actually. Laurie and I divorced not too long after…”

“How are you doing with all of that?” you ask softly, coming over to the living room and sitting down on the couch. He aims the remote at the television, currently working on finding the movie you guys had decided on. “Honestly? Fine. Our marriage was a little messy for a while. I think in a way, I was always bracing myself for this to happen.” You listen to him somewhat curious, wondering how on Earth a woman could just let herself lose a man like him. He’s practically sex on legs.

“So are ya dating again?” you ask playfully, and he glances at you amused. “Hmm. Wouldn’t you like to know,” he replies in jest, and you laugh, nibbling on your lower lip. “I guess you’re not. I doubt a girlfriend would be very happy you invited the new neighbor half your age into your home for dinner alone, hm?” you muse with a smirk, and he scoffs in amusement. “Excuse me? Half my age?” He suddenly pauses and shakes his head playfully. “You know what? Don’t elaborate on that, you’re probably right. But yeah, I’m not seeing anyone right now.”

“That’s kind of surprising.” You blurt out, unable to help yourself. You’ve always had the tendency to speak your mind. “You’re, like, the most attractive guy I’ve met here.” He blinks in surprise but chuckles lowly, pressing play before coming to sit next to you. “Well. Thank you. And to think my son told me I had to step up my game.” You laugh softly, biting on your lip somewhat mischievously. “Yeah, I think you’re definitely doing just fine…”

He looks down at you, his expression suddenly becoming a little more serious. You’re practically lost in his deep blue eyes, staring back up at him as your heart begins to pound a little. It’s definitely happening. You can feel it. Whether this was always his intention or not, you’re unsure, but you know he wants you just as badly as you want him.

It all happens so fast. His hands are grabbing your waist and pulling you onto his lap, his lips against yours in a furiously heated kiss, his arms wrapping entirely around you to keep you close to his body. You kiss him back now straddling his lap comfortably, your hands already lunging for the buttons of his shirt to push it off. His grunts of arousal are turning you on more and more, showcasing his absolute need and hunger; it’s clear he's been deprived ever since his divorce, and you’re more than happy to give him what he’s been ravenous for. You let him pull your top off, adjusting yourself so you can remove your shorts. He pulls back and stares at your half naked body, already panting.

“Fuck. I forgot how sexy girls your age are,” he mumbles as his eyes rake over your figure, hands running up your waist to squeeze your breasts through your bra before traveling down to dig his fingers into your ass. “So damn tight and perky in all the right places…” You giggle breathlessly, unbuckling his belt as you lick your lips. “I think you’ll find I have a lot more… enthusiasm, too.”

You slowly slide off him, getting down onto your knees in between his legs. He looks shocked but pleasantly surprised when you push down his pants and briefs, his teeth digging into his lower lip in anticipation when you curl your fingers around his thick length. You can’t help but stare a little, somewhat intimidated by his shaft though excited at the same time. Looking up at his expression, you barely smirk. “What’s wrong, Andy? Your ex-wife didn’t like to get down on her knees for you?” You use your other hand to rub his thigh slowly as if to comfort him, leaning down to give his tip little kitten licks. “Mm… because I’d do it for ya anytime…”

He lets out a groan, bucking his hips already in greed. “Fuck, don’t tease, Y/N. You did enough of that today standing outside my house in that tiny little bra and those tight pants.” He mutters through clenched teeth, and you blink before giggling lightly, pumping his base. “Oh? You were checking me out even then, huh?”

“Of course I was… who wouldn’t be?” he growls, suddenly reaching out and grabbing a fistful of your hair, jerking your head forward. “Suck my damn dick already, honey, I want to fuck the back of your goddamn throat…”

You gasp slightly but feel the wetness pool between your legs upon the pet name and dirty talk, immediately leaning forward to wrap your lips around him. You’ve never wanted to please someone so bad. He’s older, much older, and all you want to do is impress him. You bob your head up and down as your tongue swirls around his length, enjoying the sounds of his pleasured grunts and groans, looking up to see his eyes practically half shut. “Shit. You’re doing so good, honey, so… fucking good.” He hisses, clenching your hair tighter as he bucks his hips upwards. “Keep going, just like that…”

You feel his cock hitting the back of your throat, your coughs muffled from how full your mouth is. You don’t want to stop, though. You want to do everything you can to please him, to show him just what a good neighbor you are. You keep sucking, peering up at him through hooded eyes, moving your tongue skillfully to draw him closer to his edge. “Oh… oh, fuck…!” he growls, his grip on your hair tightening. “Oh, baby, I’m gonna cum…”

He releases down your throat, his shoulders finally dropping as he releases his hold on your hair. You hum happily as you swallow his load, gasping for air immediately after, your chest heaving up and down. He scoffs in awe as he stares down at you, nibbling on his lip hungrily. “You look so good taking my cock like that, honey. But I want to taste you now.”

You squeak in surprise when he hoists you up, carrying you upstairs and to his bedroom with ease. You don’t even have time to look around before he tosses you down onto the bed on your back, crawling over and leaning down to leave a trail of kisses all the way from your collarbone, over the tops of your breasts, down your stomach and to the hem of your panties. He playfully bites on the lace to lower them down, making you giggle breathlessly. He stares at your soaked pussy, his blue eyes practically a shade darker from lust. “Look at you. All pretty and wet just for me,” he murmurs, voice dripping with fervor. “Taste me,” you whine, shivering slightly from the cool air now upon your entrance, arching your back desperately. “Please, Andy, I want you to tongue fuck me so bad.”

He groans just from hearing you. “What a naughty girl. I can’t believe how lucky I am you moved in right next door.” He smirks and leans in, swiping his tongue across your dripping folds. You whine slowly as your eyes flutter shut, fingers grasping the bedsheets. “Mm… something tells me I’ll be here just as much as… at my house…”

“I think so too.” His voice is low and husky, his sharp features displaying nothing but carnal hunger. He nibbles teasingly around the edges of your entrance before pushing his tongue inside, hands gripping your thighs to keep your legs spread apart. Plunging in and out, spitting once to create more wetness and saliva, his tongue travels all over and laps up everything it can get. He’s grunting to himself in enjoyment, his lips even finding your clit as he sucks on it carefully but excitedly, his fingers wrapping behind to squeeze your ass. You can’t help but moan loudly, your breaths airy and uneven, the occasional gasp coming out accompanied by pitchy and pleasured hums. “Andy…!”

“Mm… mmm…. so good…” he mumbles to himself in between, his tongue working your clit and wet core expertly and sending you closer and closer over the edge. “Oh! Ooh… I’m… I’m close…!”

You finally release and he happily cleans you all up, exhaling deeply as a satisfied smirk crosses his lips. He pulls back only to come lay next to you, his bare chest moving up and down with his irregular breaths and his fluffy brown hair now slightly tousled from his head in between your thighs. You look up at him with an amused and breathless smile, raising an eyebrow playfully innocent as you whisper, “Did I taste good…?”

“Incredibly.” He answers with a low scoff, suddenly rolling over to face you and throwing his arm around you. “You make the perfect dessert. And I think I’m going to want you every night.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m right next door…”

#andy barber x reader #andy barber smut #andy barber imagine #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber x you

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ren-c-leyn · 4 years

Text

FNF Story: Betrayer

Another tale for @promptsforthestrugglingauthor‘s Friday Night Fights event. This week’s prompt is here, additionally, I used these 1,2,3 other prompts from their collection, this prompt by @thependragonwritersguild, this prompt by @clean-prompts, and this prompt by @corvidprompts.

Warnings: This piece is a heavy angst piece that mentions death in passing, some alcohol use, a curse, fighting, some blood, but nothing graphic or in any particularly descriptive detail.

“I’ll fix it, I’ll fix it!” I stumbled forward, the world wobbling around me. My companion lay on the ground, breathing in shaking, labored heaves and surrounded by so, so much red. “You have to be fine, you have to!”

But he wasn’t fine. the crimson pool grew and grew as the breathing slowed. No matter how much pressure I put on the wound, it wouldn’t stop bleeding. All the while, I heard a chorus of whispers surrounding us.

‘Why?’

‘Why did you betray us?’

‘What have you done?’

‘Why did you do it, why?!’

‘We thought you were our friend.’

I blinked back tears, trying not to listen, trying to stop myself from shaking as I focused on him, focused on trying to save him. Both those pale green eyes were going glassy.

“Please don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t!” I begged, but they closed anyways.

The whispers burst into hideous laughter and then it all went dark.

I jerked out of bed, drenched in enough sweat that I may as well have just been caught in the rain. I clutched my own arms, breath ragged, trying to expel what I’d just seen. His hands fell on my shoulders, touch gentle and light, reminding me I was not alone.

“You’re gonna be okay. It was just a dream. I’m here,” he said.

And I froze. My mind reeled, trying to figure out exactly when this... this creature got in here. It was hard to think with the pounding headache and blurry tears, so I just shoved him away and stumbled out of bed and downstairs.

Bits of memory faded in and out as I wobbled closer and closer to the bottom of the staircase. Right. I was drunk. He helped me home. I was sobbing, something about the curse.... The curse.

I stopped on the last stair before sinking down onto it. There was the obnoxious pounding of footsteps as he came down after me. He sighed.

“You’re not ready to be up, yet,” he said gently before carefully grabbing my arm.

“Get your hands off me!”

“You’re sick, I’m not gonna just leave–”

“I would sooner crawl back up these stairs on my hands and knees than lower my pride enough to ask you for help–so, again–hands. Off.”

He let go and held his hands up.

“I don’t understand why you won’t just let me help this once.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Good. I don’t trust me, either.”

I groaned at the sarcasm.

“Infuriating as ever.”

“Guilty as charged.”

A tense silence passed between us as he stepped passed me and sat down on the rug in front of the stairs.

“It’s only going to get worse,” he ventured after a few minutes went by. “And alcohol isn’t going to help.”

“Don’t lecture me, I know. And...” flashes of the dream danced through my head, “I know what I need to do to fix it.”

“Do you?” he asked.

“To undo what has been done, I have to undo my betrayal. And I don’t need you getting in my way.”

His expression soured.

“Your death won’t undo it if that’s your plan.”

“I’m not planning my own death.”

He sat there blanked faced as I stood and slipped around him, heading to the kitchen. It must have clicked somewhere between my first glass of water and the second because I heard him screech in a way only he could.

“You can’t do this!”

“You can’t stop me.”

“It’s stupid! You’ll die before you kill him! And another one will just take his place, that’s how power vacuums work!”

I listened to him rant and rave for a few moments. Ironic that the traitor who helped the Empire take over was being advised by a traitor to said Empire now. We were always enemies, always on opposite sides, no matter who we decided to serve we were always against one another. Even now, even after he decided to pity me, we were still on the opposite side.

Around the third glass of water, I felt alive enough to pass by him again to collect my weapons and armor. He grabbed my wrist and I ripped my arm away.

“Touch me again and see what happens,” I growled.

He threw his clawed hands up in the air.

“Fine. But please take a moment to stop and think about this, think about it seriously. He’s guarded, he’s living in what is essentially a fortress, there’s magic on his side, and he’s only half mortal. Half mortal. Killing him is damn near impossible for warriors who have kept up their training and aren’t being slowly consumed by a curse.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’ve been using my downtime to think of smarter solutions than a duel, then, huh?”

He shook his head, white hair fluttering about.

“You’ve always been impossible.”

“As have you, my old enemy,” I mumbled as I resumed walking to my little armory. ‘As have you.”

He stopped protesting after that, just sat sulking on the bottom step of the staircase. Instead, he merely watched through silted eyes and a stony mask. Gargoyles, didn’t they have anything better to do than sit and judge?

It took me the better part of the day to finish preparations, but I had ample time before the main event. I paused by the stairs, meeting his solemn gaze.

“I’m not changing my mind.”

“You rarely do. Act impulsively, yes, but change your mind after deciding to do something?” he snorted before his shoulders sagged. ‘I wished you would, though. There might still be other ways. Ways that you might, I don’t know, survive?”

I shook my head.

“Tried already. No. They won’t forgive me, not while my betrayal still stands.”

“And so you rush to your death. Go then, my old enemy. I will bury you when it is over.”

I couldn’t find any words. Not a snarky reply or even a simple thank you. Instead, I gave him a nod and started walking to the door.

It was my last chance to make things right, my last chance to be honest. Better late than never, I supposed, but given how slow traffic was, it was looking like it might be never. I had hopped onto the farmer’s cart, thinking it’d be a faster trip. Turns out, it wasn’t. Horses and wagons filled the road to the city gates for as far as the eye could see and showed no signs of moving forward.

A sigh escaped me as I felt another throb in my bones, another pulse of a headache. I know, Renard, give me a little more time. I’ll avenge you. What I helped them do to you. It didn’t change anything, but I felt better for the thought.

Slowly, I forced myself out of the back of the wagon and began making my way forward, cutting passed farmers and merchants and travelers of all kinds until I was up at the front. Looked like the guards and some foreign nobles we arguing. I didn’t have time for it. Any of it.

So, with a light push, I started a distraction. A brawl between the noble’s guards and the city guards would get ugly, no doubt, but who would notice me slipping by? No one. That’s who noticed me slipping by.

The palace, or perhaps fortress was a better description of it, was also fairly simple. I just stood slightly behind and to the side of the first official looking person heading inside, and pretended to be their guard as we walked in together. Then, I promptly slipped away from him before he could notice we were being followed.

The palace was at half staff, thanks to battles up north, so now was the best time to catch him. Risky and probably going to get me killed, yes, but the best time all the same.

Finding the evil son of a lake serpent that killed Renard, that caused me to be cursed, proved to be the actual challenge. I listened around the servants, eavesdropped on the throne room, and just wandered around, searching for him. Eventually, I came across the war room and heard the unmistakable, booming voice of the Emperor. Wonderful.

Terrible, I corrected myself as I realized that this was where most of the palace guard had been hiding. And they had spotted me.

“Who goes there?” the woman demanded, scowling at me from beneath her spiraling horns.

I blurted out my name. My full name. And she stood there, staring blankly at me. I smiled.

“I come bearing critical information.”

She opened her mouth, but the booming voice echoed out of the war room.

“Let the spy in.”

She looked back at the door and then back at me before making a sweeping gesture towards it. Not questioning my good fortune, I made my way inside.

He stood tall, a hulking figure over the rest of the forms in the room. All were armed, but all made a conscious effort to keep their hands above the table. It would be a bad idea to get into a fight here, I assumed.

How unfortunate.

I placed myself right at his side, craning my neck upwards to look at him. He was as captivating as he had been back then. Quietly fierce and striking. His armor shined in the light of the crystals above his head, and his green eyes glowed ominously as he stared down at me.

“It has been a long time.”

“Indeed. Seven years to be exact.’

“They have not done you well,” he noted.

“But they have served me well,” I replied with a dip of my head, “and you as well.’

“The information?”

I grinned with a nod.

“Yes, allow me to get the point, then. You’re true enemy is not in the north.”

There was a collective of whispers and snorts from around the table, but I kept my eyes on him.

“Interesting accusations. Show me your proof.”

I gestured to the table and watched him lean over it again.

“Look at the table, My Emperor, and see for yourself. Notice something odd about the attack patterns? How they all seem to conveniently benefit one person?”

I didn’t know what the sea I was talking about, but it certainly seemed to get his attention as he leaned further down, inspected the placements of their colored flags with more scrutiny. I could almost reach it, now, that fabled soft spot.

I slid a little closer to his side, making a show of gesturing to the flags.

“If you look at where the boards of these territories, and the placement of the blockades, you’ll see that it seems to greatly benefit you’re general over there, as anyone moving through his land has to pay the fee....”

“How dare...”

“Silence.’

The general shrunk down as the Emperor leaned a little closer to my direction, paying closer attention to the general’s boarders. Slowly, I raised myself onto my toes and reached for the dagger in my sleeve. He turned his head to look to me, to ask a question, and that’s when I struck.

My dagger found that soft spot, but his hand also found my arm. I had just barely, barely broken the skin. I shook. So close. I had been so damn close....

There was silence in the room. A thick, suffocating one as all stared at me in shock. As I stood in front of him, barely able to conceal the tremble of my legs, I wondered what made me think I was strong enough to challenge him in the first place. I guess the gargoyle had been right. I had sentenced myself to death, not freedom.

His eyes burrowed into me, staring with that same intense glow and power that had convinced me to switch to his cause to begin with.

“I always wondered when you’d do it,” the emperor said at last. “I always wondered when you’d turn on me, betrayer.” He twisted the dagger out of my hand and it clattered lifelessly to the floor. “It’s all you are in the end, all you’ll ever be, a betrayer. No loyalties, not even to yourself. The first opportunity to drive the knife in, you’ll probably take it.”

“I should have taken yours sooner,” I tried to snarl, but it just sounded hollow.

“So you could avoid your curse?” He clicked his tongue. “Wouldn’t have worked. It wasn’t Renard who cursed you. Wasn’t any of your old allies. No. You are you’re own curse. You always have been, always will be. No one hurts you more than yourself, but you only care now because there’s a physical manifestation of your corruption inconveniencing you.”

“Killing me,” I corrected.

“Betrayer, you’ve sentenced yourself to death, not the curse.” He swung me around by my wrist, handing me over to the guards. “Take the betrayer to the dungeons.”

I didn’t fight them, didn’t have the strength too. And as the iron door swung closed, the words echoed around the inside of my skull.

It’s all you are in the end, all you’ll ever be, betrayer.

Story taglist (ask to be added or removed.):

@nemowritesstuff , @likelyfantasywriterspsychic, @hannahs-creations, @writer-candy, @kaylewiswrites, @tenacious-scripturient, @ofinkblotsandscript, @mischiefiswritten, @kespada, @silvertalonwriteblr, @inspiring-prompts, @greenwood-writes, @elkatheinkstained, @n1ghtcrwler, @writingiswilde, @say-no-to-negativity, @wordshavings

#friday night fights #short story #fiction #fantasy #original story #my writing #a story by ren #angst

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detectivejay-chuckles-halstead · 4 years

Text

Nervous Breakdown // Jay Halstead x Reader

Photo by @karihighman

Description: Jay is there when you start to break down.

Words: 1539

Warnings: None

Pairing: Jay x Reader

A/N: So, this I wrote for me. The schedule Reader talks about is my actual schedule. The sign offs are the things I actually need. This was me last night, except I didn’t have someone like Jay to talk me down from my nervous break down, I just had it and then had to be at my clinical this morning (which I’m still at btw lol). But yeah. Hope you enjoy. And if my posting is sporadic in the next month or so, this is why.

“Come to bed,” Jay told you softly, leaning on the doorframe of your bedroom with his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at you with papers spread across the floor, couch, and coffee table.

Your movements were frantic as you tried to organize them all, trying to figure out the best system to keep everything together. Every section was chronologically ordered for the online documentation, paper clips holding each stack together. Then, there were the colored sheets that had even more important signatures on them. You had to make sure everything was in order as class was drawing to an end.

“I’ll sleep when I’m done, Jay,” you snapped at him before closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I just-”

“I know.” He walked over, stepping around the stacks before sitting directly behind you in the only place clear of paper. “Come here.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from leaning back into his chest, his arms wrapping around you. Grounding you as your mind went a mile a minute. You also couldn’t stop yourself from grabbing your calendar, flipping it open to this month.

“What’s the schedule look like?” His chin rested on your shoulder as he looked at the planner.

“I have to help with the EMT class Saturday from seven to three. Then I start my shift at work at eight tomorrow night. Then, work Sunday night. So I’m going to try and catch up on some sleep on Sunday. I have my exam in Med Emergencies on Monday. Then, I have an ambulance clinical AM shift at seven. Same on Wednesday. A quiz in Med Emergencies on Thursday. Then, I work Thursday night. Off at eight on Friday morning, but I picked up a shift from two to ten Friday day. Then, ambulance clinical on Saturday AM shift.

Same with that next Sunday. A quiz in Med Emergencies on the seventeenth. Then work that night. Work the night of the eighteenth, but I’m off at four in the morning instead of my usual eight. Mainly because I have an OR clinical on the nineteenth from seven to three. But then I work that night, off at five on the twentieth because I have an exam in Med Emergencies that day. Ambulance clinical AM shift on the twenty-first. Twenty-second, I have an ER shift from seven to three, then I work that night. Work Sunday night, so I’m going to try to catch up on sleep that day.

Twenty-fourth I have another exam in Med Emergencies. Ambulance AM shift on the twenty-fifth and sixth. Then, we review for our Final in Med Emergencies, but I work that night. I’ll get off at six to get to my ambulance clinical on the twenty-eight at seven. I work that night, but off at five to get to my Maternal-Fetal Truck shift by eight.

On the thirtieth, I have an ER shift from three to eleven. The thirty-first, I have my final in Med Emergencies, and then work that night. Off the day of the first, but I work that night. Then, an ER shift at three on the second. Then, I work that night, but I’m going to try to switch shifts just because my ER shift won’t finish until eleven. The third, we have our student evals. The fourth, I’m helping the junior class with their Ops day, and then I have an ambulance clinical that night. Off the fifth, but work that night. Off the sixth, but work that night. Seventh is labor day, so completely free. ER shift on the eighth at three. Then, on the ninth, OR shift at seven.

“After that, I don’t know because we haven’t signed up for our capstone. Which all of this,” you said, motioning to the mess of papers, “is me getting everything in order to make sure I have everything done and what I still need. Because we can’t start capstone until all of our skills check offs are done, and we’ve hit all of our demographics.”

“What do you have left to do for your skills?” That question got you to sigh, putting the planner down and grabbing a notebook. You had to push your glasses back up on your face as you looked down at your messy handwriting.

“Five peer reviews for pediatric intubations. Two peer reviews for needle cricothyrotomy. Three peer and two instructor reviews for trauma assessment. Five peer reviews for trauma intubations. Two instructor reviews for joint splinting -- which I’m already an EMT, why the Hell do I have to sign off on the BLS stuff again? Same with long-bone. I need one peer review and two instructor for traction splint. Again, BLS bullshit. Seven peer reviews for medical and cardiac scenarios. Eleven peer reviews for IV starts, and one instructor. One instructor for IV piggyback. Five peer reviews for IO. Oh, and another instructor. Three peer for IM injection. Three peer for synchronized cardioversion. One peer for defibrillation. Three peer transcutaneous pacing. Four peer reviews and one instructor for adult team lead scenarios. Five peer reviews and one instructor for pediatric team lead scenarios. Eleven peer reviews for being a team member. Three peer reviews for being a team leader for geriatric scenarios. Six peer and one instructor reviews for adult physical assessments. And finally. Six peer and one instructor review for pediatric assessment,” you read off, letting the paper fall to the ground.

He held you a little tighter. You felt bad. With all the stress you’d been under for the past month, and with how crazy his job was, the two of you hadn’t gotten to spend a lot of time together. And the next month was going to be even crazier.

“When are you supposed to start your capstone?” He pressed a kiss to your neck, your eyes fluttering closed in response.

“They want us to start September Ninth, but I’m going to be the last one who gets to sign up because I’m so far behind! Everyone is going to pick the cool preceptors, and I’m going to get stuck with the ones nobody else wants,” you vented before huffing in frustration.

It was indeed very frustrating, stressful, and downright annoying that you were so far behind compared to everyone else. That’s what happens when you have to be off for six weeks because you tore your knee. Now, it was a constant game of catch-up.

“Just breathe when I breathe,” Jay instructed in that calming voice, following his breathing pattern. It got your heart rate down as tears came to your eyes, despite your internal protests. You were on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and it wasn’t going to be pretty.

“Maybe you should email your instructor?” he suggested when you had your breathing under control on your own.

“And have her take me off all my clinicals and reschedule everything? No. No fucking way. I can’t just email her and schedule my nervous breakdown, Jay. She was very clear in first semester that if we took on too much and couldn’t handle it, she’d take us off our clinicals and completely reschedule everything. I can’t do that, Jay. I can’t because then I’ll be even further behind.” You were talking a mile a minute, Jay taking a deep breath behind you. You took the hint and matched your breathing again.

“Okay, then don’t email her. But, I want you to come to bed right now. It’s two in the morning. You have an ambulance clinical in five hours. You need your sleep. All of this will be waiting for you when you come home tonight,” he insisted. You didn’t want to, but you knew he was right.

The two of you stood up, walking into the bedroom. You couldn’t help it as you collapsed on the bed with a groan, much more comfortable than the hard floor in the living room. He wasted no time in joining you, pulling you close again. This time, you were able to see his face at least, tracing his features gently with soft fingertips. You missed him.

“How about we do something Labor Day? Just you and me to destress a bit?” you asked, Jay nodding in agreement before lips met gently. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” he said with a soft chuckle, kissing you again. “But you’re almost done. This is the worst of it. After your final, you’re pretty much done with lecture. Capstone is your last hoorah. Then, your tests and you’ll finally be a paramedic after over a year. Doing this through a pandemic. Through all your family crap. I’m proud of you.”

“You really know how to sweet talk a lady,” you joked, resting your head on his chest.

It was the exact thing you needed to hear. Jay always knew what to say. You were so close to being done. Then, you’d be in your dream career. All the hard work was going to be worth it. The thousands of hours in clinicals, the hundreds of hours in class. The countless sleepless nights and caffeine filled days. Yes. It would be all worth it. Just a couple more months to go. And Jay was by your side.

#jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagines

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aliasimagines · 5 years

Text

Meeting, falling for, dating and eventually having to leave Billy Hargrove would include :

request: Billy has a girlfriend before moving to Hawkins, being her the complete opposite of him (shy, a good person, honest, kind, dedicated, sensitive, right, who likes games, who fights for the power of women, etc…) the headcanon / imagine could be how they met, how they fell in love, how was dating (the day by day), what does Billy's family think of his gf, maybe moments / hobbies / things they both did together and perhaps what the two looked like when they both had to move to different cities. by @im-hqlover

a/n: I'm soooorrryyyyy it took me this long. It's messy and all over the place but I think I included everything (?). Also this is long. Sorry 🙏

Metting & getting to know each other

You met on the first day of high school

Billy didn't have a mulet back then, he wasn't wearing the leather jacket and didn't have his ear pierced. So wasn't really having the "bad guy" look just yet

You didn't really interact since he soon became popular while you liked to stay in the shadows thanks to your shyness

He was arrogant and rude while you are kind and quiet most of the time

But of course you have noticed him. He is gorgeous. Whit his wavy blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes.

Billy first really acknowledged you when you got paired for a school project in sophomore year. (not cliché at all)

You were nervous. Why wouldn't you be? It's Billy Hargrove we are talking about. One of the cool guys.

But honestly you didn't really think he would care about it

Much to your surprise he found you in lunch break. Billy told you that he has to pick up his step sister after school, but if you give him your address he will meet you there at 5

You were a bit shocked. Does he actually care? About a stupid school project?

Turns out he really does because he is failing the class

It's 5 past 10 when he shows up. He's got a small cut on his cheek which weren't there at school.

"Are you okay, Billy?"

He shrugged his shoulder, annoyed

"Can you just let me inside so we can do that stupid project?"

Deciding it's better not to anger him you step aside and guide him to your room

You start to do some research when you hear him murmur quietly

"I don't get this"

he was pointing at the task.

"Which part do you not get?"

"All of it?"

So you begin to explain him calmly and slowly

After about 2 hours, Billy kind of gets it so you start working.

You eat dinner with books in your hands while discussing the project.

And it's like you have been friends for years. You forgot your shyness and Billy forgot about all his problems. You even joked around between two tasks.

It's pretty late when you finish but it's friday so it's okay.

When you said goodbyes and you're about to close the door he suddenly turns around.

"Thanks Y/N. For explaining that shit."

"Of course, Billy! I'm glad I could help you!"

On Monday you and Billy present your project and the teacher is blown away by it. And Billy is so happy he pulls you into a bone crushing hug. And your bl

The teacher says that if Billy can keep this up he won't fail the class. So the teacher asks you to tutor him.

Growing & confessing feelings for each other

Once a week Billy comes over after he walked Max home( cause he doesn't have his car jet) and you guys work on home work together and study. Overtime he a bit longer stays after you finished studying. He stays for dinner (your parents love him) or you just hang in your room talking and listening to music.

Billy feels so comfortable around you. It's the way you treat him. Always so calm, kind and caring. He just feels like he can trust you. And he eventually realizes that he fell for you.

And oh boy, that scares him.

First Billy doesn't want to do anything about because he thinks there is no way you like him back.

But after spending many sleepless nights with fantasizing about what your relationship would be like he can't keep his emotions bottled up.

He gets up at 3 am and just goes over to your house and starts throwing rocks at your window

"Billy! What are you doing here?"

"I want to speak with you. Can you.. come outside?"

2 minutes later you find yourself walking next to Billy in a short and an oversized shirt you quickly changed into.

Few minutes pass and he still hasn't said anything. So you nervously turn to him and open your mouth to say something but he beats you to it.

"Y/N thanks to you I've got good grades and I'm super grateful for that but that's not why... Ah shit.. I can't"

He notices you're slightly shaking.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine just a bit cold"

"Oh, here. Take my jacket" and he puts it on your shoulders

And you're jumping out of your skin.

Because over there months you spent together you grew feelings for this boy and now he was giving you his jacket. Billy freaking Hargrove was giving you his signature leather jacket!

Oh, you weren't blushing. Naaah, not at all.

"T-thanks Billy..."

"Sure thing."

"So You were trying to say something?"

"Oh shit! ...You... I was trying to say how fucking nervous you make me." *cute small laugh*

Billy took a deep breath and stoped. You looked at him, totally confused.

"Y/N... I... I like you. Like... Like like you. I have been for a while now. You are just the cutest and kindest person I have ever met. Whenever you and I are alone I feel so happy... You make me super happy."

He looks at you like a lost puppy. He is just so goddamn cute.

Even though you're shy you pull him down by the collar of his shirt and kiss him.

Just a few hours ago you wouldn't even dare to dream about Billy liking you, yet here you are kissing on the poorly lighted street at 3 am.

That's how it started

Dating Billy & what his family thinks of it/about you

So Billy likes to show you off. Take you to parties (but if you don't want to he won't force you to), hold your hand in school or even kiss you by the lockers.

You definitely earn some jealous looks after that, even some threatening ones. (don't worry, Billy will punch everyone who tries to hurt you)

You accompany him when he has to walk Max home

Max does not mind it. You're always nice to her. You quickly befriend with the cute little ginger and take her to the arcade or play video games with her.

Once Billy gets his car you go on nightly car rides

He loves surfing, so he takes you to surf whenever he can. You have little competitions like "who can stay longer on the board?"

Or if you can't surf he will teach you.

Once you come out of the water he likes to walk around the beach, fingers intertwined, maybe get some ice cream or something. You guys would stay till ot gets dark.

Or sometimes even after that. Billy wound find a nice hidden spot where you can gaze up at the beautiful night sky as he holds you in his strong arms. And he has that smile on his face. You know it's a smile he only uses when it's just the two of you.

Like I said he is a show of and likes to drag you to parties so in return you drag him to demonstrations for women rights.

Billy loves listening to music and he loves you so listening to music with you is one of his favorite things to do.

You met his father and Susan when you ran over to his house to return his jacket.

Susan opens the door, asks who you are and when you tell her that you are Billy's girlfriend she immediately invites you in

She tells Max to inform Billy that you're here

Susan was cooking when you knocked so you ask if you can help her in anything till Billy comes.

"Oh aren't you sweet! Thank you, I would appreciate it!"

You and Susan are in deep conversation while you are cutting some vegetables when Billy walks in.

"Babe? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I just brought back your jacket."

That's when Niel enter the kitchen too. He doesn't even says hello, he is just like: "who the hell is that?"

"I'm, uhm.. I'm Billy's girlfriend, sir."

Neil snorts and turns to his son "Your girlfriend?" Billy just nods so Susan takes the opportunity to speak up

"She is such a sweetheart, I didn't even know you had a girlfriend Billy."

"I guess I just didn't had a chance to talk about her"

Now his dad is looking at you "Does he take good care of you?"

"Yes sir, Billy is a wonderful boyfriend!"

"Pff are you talking about my son?"

And you're looking at him like wtf.

Later Billy tells you about his dad and how he treats him.

First your just so angry, because how can someone do that to their children?

But than you comfort your boyfriend. Tell him how he deserves the word and how you will always be there for him.

Moving to different cities

Billy is heartbroken when he learns you have to move.

But than his father announces that they will move to Hawkins and now he is hating every one.

You are devastated too, obviously. You just want to cry and be held by Billy but he is too busy being angry at the world.

You find him at your hiding spot on the beach, smoking.

"Billy, please don't be like this, this is hard for me too!"

He is too afraid of living without you, you're the only good thing in his life. And he doesn't want to lose you too.

"Baby I don't want this..." his voices is barely louder that a whisper, and you know he is fighting with his tears too.

"Me neither, Billy but... But we could figure out something?"

"What? We will be so freaking far away from each other!"

"Yes I know, but after high school we could still come back to Cali and live in a cute house by the ocean like how we planned"

"I... Yeah. Yes, you're right. But still, i don't know what will I do without you."

You sit next to him "We will talk. Every day on the phone. And I will write you."

The they you have to say goodbye is the worst. You are both crying. He doesn't want to let you go. You ran your fingers through his hair, one last time. He kisses you.

"Promise you won't forget me, Y/N. "

"I couldn't never!"

"Just promise."

"I promise, that I won't ever forget you Billy Hargrove."

#billy hargrove headcanon #billy hargrove would include #billy hargrove dating headcanon #billy hargrove one shot #dating billy hargrove would include #kinda #stranger things headcanon #stranger things woul include #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #Stranger things imagine #Long ass post #its 2 am but i finished it!!#Yey #gif not mine #Requested #request #im-hqlover #alias imagines

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seungmin-wrecked · 4 years

Text

Literally no one cares but here's my worst travel story:

So I go to a school 2-3 states away. Which according to Google, the college is a 9 hour drive, however, bc my family can't just drive 18 hours in one day to come get me and drive home, I normally take a train that goes across states. This train ride is about 6/6 and a half hours long. Not to mention :) the time you can buy tickets for this train at midnight and 3 am depending on which station you're leaving from (so if I'm heading back home, the train leaves at midnight. If I'm heading back to campus, the train leaves at 3 am). Keep this in mind :)

So the drive to the train station is a long one. It's about 4/4.5 hours long of a drive since the train station is in another state than the one I live in. So my dad decided to book a hotel like 15 min away from the train station, but not in the same city as the train station since prices were cheaper that way. We left the day before my train was supposed to leave so March 7th. We left our house at like 1 pm, and I had slept till 11 am since I had stayed up a bit late the night before. I slept in the car on the way to the hotel and was feeling pretty good!

We decided to waste some time looking around the town we were in, ate dinner at 3 pm, and actually had to go hunting to go find a place to print my train ticket since I had forgotten to (we eventually found a Staples 3 towns over and an abandoned mall that had bad vibes from the outside). Time passes and we head back to the hotel about 7 pm, but there's still a bunch of time before my train left. My boarding time that day was 4 am since daylight savings time was ending so we were supposed to jump forward, so it was really like my train was still arriving at 3 am. Amtrak suggests getting to the train station at least an hour before your train is supposed to arrive, so my dad and I agreed to leave the hotel at like 1:15 am. My dad fell asleep, but I was still pretty awake since I had gotten so much sleep already so I decided to read Manga on my phone until it was time for us to leave. We left the hotel on time, arrived at the train station early and thank goodness it was pretty empty. I managed to sit by myself and the train ride was relatively nice! Like it usually is.

Now here came the issue. The city I was arriving in, I knew about three people who lived there. One person I couldn't ask a ride from, another one I could have but there were already issues there, and so I asked the third person I knew there first. She was able to come get me!

.... Once she got off work!

...... At 1 pm.

Now I'm still very thankful she agreed to come get me, and I always will be. I have no idea how else I was supposed to make it to campus without her help, even though I would only be on campus for two weeks before getting kicked off.

However, my train arrived at 9 am. I had barely any money in my bank account and I had too much anxiety after sitting at the train station to get up and go get something from the vending machines, not to mention, I had no small bills on me. It was nearing 24 hours without substantial food, what I had eaten were some gummies my friend had gotten me for my birthday on the train, and that's it. It also came to my realization that while I was sitting there in the train station my p****d had started. There was no one in the station until about 11, since there was another train coming.

This lady approached me when there were like 5 other people at the train station (4 of them were Amish) and she asked me if she could borrow my phone to contact someone because she had left her phone in the Lyft she took to get to the train station. I figured why not and opened the app on my phone to dial phone numbers. This lady messes with my phone a bit and then hands it back to me with a new tab open with Lyft's customer service page open. I figured she was going to call her phone! Nope!!!! Now remember that I was reading Manga in the hotel room? Well I still had the tab up, and I can assure you that it was the one she opened the chrome browser up to. You'll never guess what fucking Manga I happened to be reading :)))) it was fucking Sekaii Wa (I can't remember the rest rn) but it's that one explicit bl Manga, and I remember being at a part where one of the character's may or may not have been naked :)) so I was fully screaming internally at this point. This lady had seen bl p*** on my phone and had given NO REACTIONS. She had to come ask to use my phone a couple of times bc she was trying to figure out what to do and at one point she just. Walked away with my phone.

After that had happened, a girl who looked very nervous came over and sat next to me, and asked me about how the train works since it was her first time. I also had to pee very badly at this moment too; I had needed to pee since I got off the train but was too nervous to get up and just go to the bathroom, not to mention I didn't have anyone to watch my stuff. I answered her questions and then asked her to watch my stuff. At this point I could create a temporary solution to the monthly problem happening and continue on feeling better about that situation since all of my pads/tampons were in my suitcase.

At this point it was 1 pm. For those keeping track, that is the time that my friend said she was going to be in work till, and a total of 22 hours since I had last eaten anything substantial. I was on my monthly, starving, sleep deprived, because also at this point I had gotten barely two hours of sleep on the train, which means about two hours of sleep in total for 22 hours also, and now irritated. I eventually get a text from my friend letting me know that she just got off work and was going to head home to shower and then come get me. I was just happy to know she was close to getting me.

3 pm rolls around. She arrives. I am tired, starved, irritated, in pain, and now surprised since my friend was NOT the only one to come get me. Oh no. Her mother had driven her and her sister to come get me. Which her family is lovely, they're so nice and really helped me out right before Christmas break when I needed to stay somewhere in the city before going to the train station at midnight. They pick me up, all is good. I'm still super hungry.

I am mildly lactose intolerant and when I am on my monthly, coffee messes me up (this is important for this next part).

Her mom turns towards me and goes "we're headed to Starbucks, would you like something?" my immediate response? Yes. Absolutely. My brain that is reminding me of the already horrid situation I am in, and telling me not to get coffee won though and told her no. I thought we were going to leave immediately after we came back to my friend's house. But oh no. She had laundry to finish, a resume to finish, and her mom wanted to take her to the grocery store to pick up stuff for her room. I went with for everything and ended up buying the oddest assortment of things (including almond milk, mandarin oranges, and canned soup).

My friend finished everything at about 6:30 pm and we were good to leave. I am so hungry at this point. Her mother had given me a slice of banana bread she had just baked and I had to refuse anymore bc I knew I would have eaten the whole thing given the chance. That was the most food I had eaten since 3 pm the day before. For those, once again keeping track, that is 27 hours. Again, I am in pain, irritated, hungry, and tired. We get into the car and as soon as we pull out of my friend's driveway I turned towards her and said "Can we please stop at the closest McDonald's. I am so hungry" she laughed and said sure. We passed at least 5 McDonald's. She then hits me with the "there's a Burger King like 45 min away, close to the school, can we go there?" and I just nodded my head bc I was just happy to be given the chance to eat.

We get to the Burger King and I am not kidding you. I ordered a Bacon Whopper with a side of large fries and large drink bc I was so hungry. I ate all of it before pulling into the driveway of my school. That burger is the size of my head and has enough fucking mayo on it for it to be it's own producer plant of mayo. It was heavenly.

I got all my stuff to my room (which was on the third floor of a building that only certain people could use the elevator) and passed out on my bed for an hour, woke up to tell my friend I was on campus. Did Not Touch My Luggage. And then passed tf back out till the next morning :)

TL;DR: I had the longest and worst travel of my life that lasted from 1 pm on a Friday till 7 pm on a Saturday, where I barely slept, ate, used the bathroom, and got heavily embarrassed.

#Thank you #This was very therapeutic for me :)

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drink-n-watch · 5 years

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Hello boys and girls. I hope you are having a great day. Healthy, happy and well rested. For my part, I’m still struggling to get that last one under control after that wonderful horrible thing that happened at the convention. What thing you ask? Well I’m so very glad you did ask! It would have been a really short post otherwise. Sit back, relax: let me paint you a mind picture.

do I have your attention now?

A little while ago, I dragged Mel out of Anime land where she’s been… Well… You’ve read the fanfics… To attend Otakuthon with me. It worked. Yay! I’m generally ambivalent about conventions but I’m glad I went. It was fun. And exhausting. Funny how those two things so often go together. Like most conventions, Otakuthon has a large amount of artists from all over coming together to sell goods. The special part is that unlike in US cons, you can hear them talk in French which is entertaining… I’m not a very nice person. I must say though, most did a wonderful job no matter what they may think!

Mel and I decided to do a tour in the artists’ alley (that’s how it’s called but it’s more like an artists’ gymnasium), on Friday evening after work. No big thing, I had been up since 5 and I really just wanted to scout out the place before going back the next day. I was successful! In one of the back rows, a pleasant and clearly very talented young lady was displaying her prints for sale (side note: there were so so many prints guys, it made me consider putting in more walls….) which caught our eye and we went in for a closer look.

This sounds like a casual venture but you need to fight your way through hordes of fans, occasionally in pointy and dangerous looking cosplay, to get anywhere near the booths, let alone buy something. Moreover with my vertically challenged state I really need to have a front row view. As I try to avoid touching strangers, this closer look involved a series of acrobatics, getting on my tippytoes and trying to figure out how to stretch my neck like a rokurokubi while working hard on giving off an intimidating aura to make people part before me. I’d like to think it’s the aura that did the trick.

there’s no way this can go wrong

When we finally reached the booth, victorious, Mel bought some stuff and I admired the images on display. Off to one side there were a few BL and Yuri prints that caught my eye. The images were lighthearted and loving. I didn’t recognize any characters but the BL one’s were labelled 19 days while the ladies sported a neat little tag with the words “their story”. I made a mental note, hoping it wasn’t original art work and moved on.

Friday evenings are busy for me. No no, not with social outings and tons of friends, you silly! Friday evenings are when I finish up the Given collabs with Karandi and put the gallery post together to go out on Saturdays. It’s also when I watch DanMachi, Dr. Stone, Granbelm and Fire Force and review them all (or as many as I can before passing out). Coming home late means it was around 11 when I was done watching and had to start on writing. Keeping in mind that I had been up since 5 and had a full Saturday planned. I got through 2 reviews before giving up and calling it a night.

That’s when I got the bright idea to read a little something before bed. I remembered the prints and got to googling! 19 days is indeed a rather popular Chinese you series. It’s artistic and a lot of it has no dialogue. It’s in my to read pile. Their story is also a Chinese webtoon (alternate or original title: Tamen De Gushi) about two girls finding each other and it devoured me.

I had to force myself to close my computer early Saturday morning when I got to chapter 130. I finished up the remaining 63 chapters when I got up a few hours later. It’s an ongoing series and believe you me that I will be keeping up with it!

anytime, anywhere

I read a lot of webtoons, doujin and even more traditional manga but I rarely talk about them on my blog. I also rarely give up my sleep on the one weekend I actually have to stick to a schedule in order to read something I could finish anytime. So why is Their Story different?

That’s an impossible question to answer. The short and most accurate response is : I like it. I really like it. The longer one is that it has great pacing and a good sense of humour. The narrative respects the characters which are all well crafted and complex while remaining realistic and consistent. They are recognizable as people you may be friends with but just a bit more fun since you only hear about the adventures. The discovery of sexuality and social pressure is modernizes, told from a contemporary setting where a lot has changed and the stigmas aren’t the same but some things are still painfully old fashioned. Their Story is a coming of age from the point of view of modern young women and we don’t get enough of those. And it is also absolutely heartwarming. Not everything needs to be tragic and sometimes we can manage to cut ourselves on the softest things.

I didn’t do a good job. I’m still trying to get back those lost sleep hours. Ok, let me just give you this one random chapter as an example:

This chapter isn’t directly related to the story so there are no spoilers here, but the general theme has a connection with an earlier arc. It’s obviously feminist and if that annoys you…well you probably have given up on my blog a long time ago cause I am way more annoying than Their Story. I don’t see that many webtoons trying to make these points. Their story is fairly innocent and could easily be targeted at a younger audience. An audience that might not have completely acknowledged these realities. It made me so happy to think that somewhere a 13 year old saw this and thought, I never thought about it nut that’s sort of true…it kinda sucks. I also don’t think this story is particularly targeted to girls, as such the more personal perspective is even more interesting.

And a chapter like this works only because the author spend 180 chapters before it making us laugh and worry and fall in love with the characters. It’s not a message manga it’s a story that occasionally has something to say beyond it’s own fiction. Have I mentioned it’s adorable. Ok. Let me try again, here is one of the early chapters…..

I hope this has wetted (yes, this one time the error is on purpose) your appetite enough. It really is a great webtoon. Unless you are opposed to Yuri for some reason, I recommend you give it a try.

For my part, I scrapped myself together best I could, trying to make myself look somewhat presentable for the con and went right back to spend an entire day walking in heels on a few hours sleep. When I got back to that booth I told this entire tale of woe to the poor confused artist and openly blamed her for my sleep deprivation. Then I bought the Their Story print. here it is. I love it. Thank you..

I Ruin My Sleep Schedule Again, This Time With Yuri! Hello boys and girls. I hope you are having a great day. Healthy, happy and well rested.

#love #manga #romance #Their Story #wow #Yuri

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arealcrow-archive · 5 years

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he’s a demon, he’s a devil, he’s a doll

Neo-Noir au with micah, brief appearance by steel, but mostly sidesteps flirt and do crimes together. fuck cops and fuck hollow ground. thanks @iseektheholygrail for letting me borrow jasper for this.

Twenty more minutes and we would’ve been fine. Twenty more minutes and we would’ve been long gone. Always better to be lucky than good, and tonight it looks like I’m neither.

ao3, 2.9k words

Los Diablos. A rainy Friday in November. 2020.

I’ve got no good reason to be here. That’s not to say I don’t have any reason at all to be here, just none that are good. No, tonight I’m here on strictly business. A job, and a big one. One that should set us up nicely for a while, give me the space to lay low while I live big.

Well. Maybe it’s not all strictly business. I’ve been to this bar every Friday night for over a month, making myself look like a regular. Sat at quiet spot at the bar for a few hours each week, sipping whiskey sours and taking note of security rotations. Chatted up bartenders, played cards in the back. I got real friendly, but never too personal. It’s an extensive casing of a joint, granted, but the payoff’s worth it. That, and the view.

5 weeks earlier

This isn’t the first casing I’ve done. Though espionage isn’t exactly one of my specialties, I’ve got the eye for details we need here. If only I could stay focused on the task at hand, and not the details of the bartender with the soft eyes. He’d caught my attention the second I’d walked in. Of course he did. How could he not, with an indecipherable set to his lips and warm glint to his eyes?

I can’t help but wonder what he would look like smiling at me. Laughing at a well timed joke. Moaning. I have to shake that thought from my head before it takes root, like a kid worried that his face will get stuck in the expression he’s making. Getting distracted before I find what I came here for would be a rookie mistake.

Maybe I lingered on the idea too long, or maybe it was just too vivid. Maybe I just can’t help myself around tall, dark, handsome men. I should’ve been paying better attention to who was at the table with me. Multitasking is supposed to be something I’m good at. This was a challenge I just wasn’t up to, feeling those grey eyes on my back the whole time I was playing poker.

Or maybe it was that I couldn’t read him. Not a single stray thought or feeling off him. Shields that strong meant he was one of two things; epileptic, or someone else with some kind of telepathic gift.

I guess it doesn’t matter the reason, I ended up at the bar either way. If I had to make a guess, I’d say that’s where the job went wrong. Curiosity always kills the cat. Worse things could’ve happened, though. I could’ve missed the chance to learn his name.

“Jasper,” he tells me when I ask, and I can tell he’s not lying. No, that habitual downturn to his lips shifts. It’s not quite a smile, but close enough to leave me wanting me more.

“Jasper,” I say back. Let his name roll off my tongue as my eyes slide down him. Maybe that’s a little too forward, but he doesn’t seem to mind. “Like the stone. Pretty. It’s fitting.”

He doesn’t blush like I want him to, but that’s not a surprise. I don’t need him to react to smell the blood in the water between us. “Though, I bet with a face like yours, you get told how pretty you are on a nightly basis.”

That gets me a small, polite laugh. The laugh of someone who’s hoping you’re at least going to tip them well. That’s fair.

“It happens. Every now and then, sure.” No smile, yet, he still just looks amused. And suspicious. That’s also fair, in an establishment brimming with the wrong kind of folks.

“So modest,” I wink at him, and take a sip of my drink. It’s strong. “What’s a civilized kid like you doing in a den of thieves like this?”

“Making a living.” That felt pointed.

“That makes two of us,” I let an easy smile slip across my mouth, hoping my eyes don’t give away too much of the heat starting to itch at the back of my thoughts. It’s distracting, so distracting. I’m supposed to be casing the damn joint, not pining over eyes like fog rolling into the bay in the early morning.

I can feel eyes on my back again, and a glance over my shoulder confirms they’re not the kind I want. A tall man, one I’d been playing poker with earlier. He’d been watching me like a hawk then, too; for different reasons than I thought, it seems.

“Someone caught your eye?” Jasper asks me, noticing my distraction.

“No one more than you,” I shoot back, turning back to face him fully despite the burning holes in the back of my head. It’s not a lie, and it’s what finally gets me a smile. Seems like I might have caught him off guard with that one.

“I think I’ve caught someone else’s eye, though. And not in the fun way.” I don’t know what compels me to tell him this. Sure, a handsome face always puts me at ease but this is a different kind of comfort. Feels dangerous.

With a resigned sigh, I pull out enough cash to cover my bill with a generous tip. It’s a little early to call it a night, but better safe than sorry this time around. I’ve got nothing good to report back yet, nothing worth blowing my cover for.

“Don’t be a stranger, kid.”

3 weeks earlier

There’s a whiskey sour waiting on the bar for me when I sit down. I try not to put too much stock into the warm feeling of familiarity seeping into my gut, have to remind myself I barely know this man.

“Evening, Micah.”

“Evenin’, doll. Thanks,” I tip my drink at him in acknowledgement before taking a sip. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him my real name. It’s too late to worry about it now.

Scanning the rest of the floor from my perch at the bar, it’s not hard to tell that something isn’t quite right tonight. Friday nights here are usually packed, the perfect environment for me to just slip into the crowd and blend. It looks like a weeknight. There’s people, The Gold Cat is never completely dead, but they’re scattered and mostly keeping to themselves. There’s not a single kingpin’s man to be spotted, and so nothing much for me to do tonight.

“Is somethin’ going on tonight, Jas? This place feels like a ghost town,” I finally ask him when my cup is empty. If I can’t get much work done, I may as well have a little fun with my night.

“Nope. Nothing that I’ve heard about.” From his tone, I suspect it’s safe to assume he hears about most things that happen relating to this bar.

“So that means you’d be free after you finish your shift then? Have time for some dinner and dancing?”

He takes a second to respond; I caught him off guard. But he doesn’t look surprised, so he must have seen this coming. I doubt he knew how impatient I’d be, though.

“I’ve still got another two hours,” he eventually settles on saying.

“That wasn’t a no. I’ve got time.”

His eyes slowly rake over me, appraising, judging. Deciding if I’m worth this time probably. Trying not to fidget under the inspection, I give him a cheesy smile. He laughs at that, and I think I can see a light pink flush rising in his cheeks. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

“Alright. Fine,” he says, nodding.

The grin on my face goes from put-on to genuine and beaming. I’m trying not to look excited, I’m not some kid in a candy shop. It has been too long since I’ve properly taken someone out, though, and I’d be lying if the prospect of spending real time with Jasper wasn’t making my blood quicken. Christ. I wonder if he’ll let me take him home. Maybe not home. To somewhere more private, anyway.

2 weeks earlier

“So, of all the gin joints and dives in the city, how’d you end up at this one?”

It was something I wanted to ask him for a few weeks now, but had never found a convenient way to bring it up. I should’ve asked before we had dinner. Before I brought him home that night, exposed more than one weakness. If he was here because he was actually working for the kingpin, like a good number of servers at The Cat, I may have just gotten in bed with the enemy.

His nonchalant shrug in response helps to relieve my tension, but the suspicion stays firmly rooted.

“They paid the best here. Flexible hours and good security don’t hurt.”

I spend too long searching his words for any hidden meaning. Any signs of danger. A lie, or a half-truth. He notices.

“I didn’t know who owned the place until I bought it.” He gets straight to the point with it. I haven’t said anything about it, but working here he has to know the kingpin has enemies. He continues more quietly, leaning forward so I’m the only one close enough to hear him. “I’m not going to tell anyone what you’re doing here. Not tryna’ get you killed after just one date.”

Never able to focus on business, I follow down that rabbit hole. “‘Just one date’? Sounds like you’re expecting a second.”

“Maybe I am. Depends.”

“On what?”

“If you’re busy after this. If you’d like to be.”

“I certainly would like to be.”

Jasper glances over at the clock and then back to me. He hasn’t stepped back and we’re still entirely too close, voices intimately quiet.

“Well. We can leave whenever you’re done. I’m finished as of three minutes ago. Maybe we skip the wining and dining tonight?”

My eyebrows stretch towards my hairline, surprise written clearly on my face and smugness slowly revealed on his. I feel outplayed; he’s got a better poker face by far.

“Uh, yeah. Yes. Definitely, absolutely. I’m, I’m done.” I’m tripping over my words, struggling to catch up now that Jasper’s taken the lead. I’ve only got a short moment to collect myself as he instructs me to wait for him there at the bar.

That’s all the time it takes for someone to slide into the seat next to me. It’s a tall, dark haired man I’d played poker with a few weeks prior. He’s got a sharp look to him tonight, the air between us already rife with tension.

“You’re a new face around here,” his tone is conversation, his expression is not.

“Relatively,” I shrug, making sure to give nothing hostile back. Playing dumb rarely fails for me. “Y’all don’t get a lot of fresh blood in here?”

“As much as any place. You just happen to be my type.” The wink he gives me is dead eyed, a threat. He’s just going through the motions of flirting, diverting the eye of any onlookers from the threat he’s making out in the open. It’s like a well planned magic trick, premeditated.

“I’m just passing through.”

I can see Jasper round a corner, now changed out of his work clothes into something more casual. I’m trying to diffuse, but that’s never something I’ve been good at. Escalation is more my speed. He’s eyeing the situation carefully as he approaches, with a look on his face like he’s got a plan. I don’t like hedging my bets on an unknown element, but in my experience two heads are always better than one.

“Ready to go, babe?” I try and keep my jaw from dropping at the term of endearment. The fondness is likely put on for the man next to me, and judging by the look of barely restrained surprise on his face it’s effective. Not that I’m doing a much better job hiding my own shock.

“Yeah. Let’s ankle.” I slide out of my seat at the bar and comfortably into place next to Jasper, wrapping an arm around his waist for good measure. If he’s made the decision that he’s going to be my cover, then I’m going to run with it.

Despite my arm around him, he’s still leading, guiding me towards a door I’ve never been through. It takes us out to a back alley, and my mental map of the building gets a little more complete.

Present day.

I’m halfway through my second drink of the night when the shouting starts.

The commotion actually starts when a set of cops in full gear kick down the doors, but I’m distracted enough asking Jasper inane questions that a dramatic entrance doesn’t catch my attention. In a bar full of criminals it’s on sight with the pigs, so of course a fight breaks out instantly. The sirens outside are on in a matter of minutes.

It only takes a quick shared glance between myself and Jasper, a jerk of my head in the vague direction of a back exit, and we’re moving. It’s easy for the two of us to fall into a wordless partnership, feels natural as breathing. This is where I’m most comfortable anyway, in a crisis, in a crowd, with someone to back me up. Even if the situation isn’t ideal.

Twenty more minutes and we would’ve been fine. Twenty more minutes and we would’ve been long gone. Always better to be lucky than good, and tonight it looks like I’m neither. We get about thirty seconds of respite after we make it out the back door before a figure in the shadows clears their throat. I should have seen him as soon as we’d walked out the door, it’s a silhouette I would recognize with my eyes closed.

“Micah Raziel. Word on the street is you’ve been telling a lot of tales for a dead man.”

“You don’t sound surprised. If you’re not here to confront me about that, you’re here for something else.

“This city’s gone to hell in a handbasket,” Investigator, formerly Detective, Steel says, stepping into the light. The years of injustice weighing on his shoulders are clear in his words, but clearer in his tired eyes, the grey starting to creep into his hair. He looks different, I’d expected that, but now how much older he looks. I can’t imagine what he sees when he looks at me, now. Seven years is a long time.

“Los Diablos has nothing left to lose, and everything to hide. That raid going on in there is just a show, something to keep the public from being suspicious about Hollow Ground having bought out the entire damned police force by now.”

Wei Chen’s always had a suspicious streak a mile wide. It’s what made him a fantastic detective. It’s also what got him kicked out the force after Commissioner Hood’s untimely death. He took the best detective in the force with him when he left, and it wasn’t long before two rookies, fed up with the system, followed them. He didn’t bring any of them with him tonight, to my surprise.

I’m not sure if I’m relieved or disappointed that Ortega isn’t here. It’s hard to guess whether Chen has told him yet that I’m not as dead as the papers made me out to be. Probably not, or he would have found me by now. Ricardo always found his target. Always got his man.

“And I’m guessing you want to do something about that? You never could just let it go, Steel.”

“We’re already doing something about it. We need help now. You and I both know Hollow Ground’s been using his paid off cops to take down his rivals, your lot must be coming up on his hit list.”

It’s true. It’s why we were trying this job, try and hit him before he hit us. I dare a glance back to Jasper, guilt creeping into my conscience. He doesn’t look bothered, much less surprised, but that’s par for the course. I’m going to owe him some explanations after this.

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” I say back slowly. “What kind of help?”

“Your kind of help,” crime, “To cover the bases we can’t.” His jaw is tense, I doubt this was an easy decision to come to. He’s been aware of the fact that I’m not dead long enough to track what I’m doing, there must have been a reason he didn’t follow up on it until now. Maybe he knew the danger he’d risk putting himself, and his colleagues, in.

“I haven’t told anyone about you yet, or that I’m here.” I slowly raise my eyebrows at that, the shock growing as he steps out of the shadows and extends a metallic hand out towards me. As far as I remember, that hand was still fleshy last time I saw him. That was years ago, and time slows for no man. The lines of it are etched into both of our faces.

There’s a business card held between those fingers, startlingly bare of information except for an address and a phone number.

“Ortega will be there. A week from now, 7 pm sharp.” Chen says as I stare down at it. He says it like it should entice me to show up, not make me question stopping to have this conversation in the first place even more.

“It’s your choice. That’s all we can do for this city. Choose.”

#fallen hero: rebirth #fhr #sidestep #wei chen #steel fhr #micah raziel #jasper colt #neo noir au #AHHHHHHHHHHHH #this is the longest thing ive ever written for fun #i will put more plot in the second chapter i swear i just needed to learn how to fucking writing in this style first

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girl-thunder · 7 years

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a rough kind of place; a good kind of place

A little drabble that delves a bit deeper into the moments before the Pierce sisters fall asleep at the end of the pilot episode. Inspired by this lovely piece by @youngerdrgrey (which I believe was actually the very first BL fic to be posted on the tumblrs!.)

“Anissa…”

The voice was small. Meek. Nothing like the voice that Anissa had come to expect from her baby sister.

“... can I come in?”

Anissa inhaled deeply for what felt like the first time in hours, pulling her upper body up in bed so that her weight rested against her elbows. Her mind was chock full of the events from the past forty-eight hours, thoughts spiraling. So much had happened.

At first Anissa couldn't understand why Jennifer would be shuffling around outside her bedroom door. Wasn't at all like her. Usually Jennifer preferred to be holed up in her own room, flicking between every social media profile known to man on her iPhone and taking last-minute selfies before it was time to wash her makeup off. But shit… the girl had nearly been killed that night.

And Anissa had nearly been killed, too.

Both she and Jennifer had been tested unlike ever before - and having grown up in Freeland, that meant something, you know? - so, yeah, on second thought maybe it actually made perfect sense that Jen would be up whisper-yelling from outside the bedroom door. Maybe she could understand why her little Jen didn’t want to be down on the far end of the hall where her bedroom was located, alone.

“Yeah... Yeah, come in.”

The bedroom door was pushed open quietly and as Jennifer slipped through it with socked feet, a sloppy bun and watery pink eyes, Anissa hoped that her own quick sniffles and sneaky swipes against the moist and puffy skin beneath her eyes would go unnoticed.

“Was just checking on you,” Jennifer said, rounding the bed and trying to act nonchalant as she slid in beside Anissa. The gesture made Anissa chuckle despite herself. It was obvious that Jennifer was coming in search of comfort but if pretending otherwise made her feel better, then maybe it was a big sister’s duty to play along.

“I’m good." Anissa raised an eyebrow. "You good?”

“Psht." Jennifer scoffed. “All good. Just a regular Friday night far as I see it.”

Anissa turned her head towards her sister and the two of them locked eyes, no more than three seconds passing before they were both laughing - deep, rich belly laughs that echoed through Anissa’s bedroom and started to pull down tears that they’d both been forcing themselves to keep at bay.

Anissa was thankful for it - for the chance to have a lighthearted moment with her sister in a safe space, Jen’s cheek against Anissa’s collarbone and Anissa’s arm around Jen’s shoulders. Right then and there in her childhood home, with the night light from when she was little glowing in the corner and both her father and mother holding court downstairs, Anissa allowed herself to feel safe. Safe in her home and safe in the city where she'd lived all her life.

Sure, Freeland could be a rough kind of place at it’s worst. The kind of place where star athletes could be targeted by gang bangers and med students could be arrested just for doing what was right and model fathers could be slammed up against cop car hoods for no fucking reason at all… But it could be a good kind of place, too.

The kind of place where two sisters could grow up happy in a house filled up with good memories from the floor to the rafters… Where there were young ones to educate and good people to stand up for and a hero that sparked lightning to watch over them...

As the two girls’ laughter died, replaced only by the quiet whistling of her father’s teapot downstairs and the faintest sound of a train’s horn in the distance, Anissa gave her sister a kiss on the cheek, rolling her eyes when Jennifer pretended to dodge the advance and settling back into bed. Jennifer settled alongside her, the two girls making themselves comfortable and pulling the comforter up over their heads the way they used to do when Jen was a toddler afraid of her own shadow and Anissa would pacify the girl with stories of their very own impenetrable blanket forcefield and how nothing could get to them as long as they tucked themselves beneath the covers real tight… Both in the past and in the present Anissa was coming to see the same lesson - that she had the power to protect people from the bad.

When Anissa heard Jennifer speak again, it was in a light and airy voice and Anissa knew that the younger girl was just breaths away from falling asleep.

“You don’t have to worry, Nissa,” Jen said said matter of factly. “Me, you… Mama, Daddy… We gon’ always be alright.”

The statement was simple. Straight forward hope. Anissa could feel more tears pressing against the back of her closed eyelids as she inhaled deeply and pressed herself deeper into the soft mattress beside her baby sister.

“That’s right,” Anissa nodded in agreement. There was enough good left in Freeland to make Anissa sure of her sister’s words. So much good left to fight for; and that's exactly what she planned to do. "We gon' always be alright."

#black lightning #cw black lightning #anissa pierce #jennifer pierce #black lightning fic #black lightning fanfiction #dctv fic #my writing #by me

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wsmith215 · 4 years

Text

San Antonio businesses on the long road back from the coronavirus pandemic – 60 Minutes

We were pleasantly surprised, Friday, when the Federal Bureau of Labor statistics said unemployment had fallen to just over 13%. But, there was a mistake. The BLS says, due to a “misclassification error,” the jobless rate was likely three percentage points higher, above 16%. In the confusion of the pandemic, it’s estimated nearly 5 million furloughed Americans weren’t counted as unemployed. Friday’s report also said joblessness fell for whites and Hispanics, but increased slightly for black and Asian Americans. It’s another sign of uncertainty as the U.S. reopens with no vaccine. Many states are now suffering a surge in COVID cases including California, Florida and Texas. We looked for hints of our future in San Antonio. America’s seventh largest city. It’s known as the Alamo City and it’s preparing for a long siege.

Scott Pelley: What does your business mean to you?

Elizabeth Johnson: It’s like a child. It’s my family. It’s my dreams.

Scott Pelley: And where do you find yourself today?

Elizabeth Johnson: Working harder than I’ve ever worked in my entire life, earning a fraction of what we’re used to earning. And waking up in the middle of the night, trying to figure out how we’re gonna keep the boat floating.

Her boat is Pharm Table. Elizabeth Johnson’s restaurant floats, on the federal bailout that pays her employees and money from charities that pay her to feed the hungry.

Elizabeth Johnson: If we can just make it to October and November without another relapse of COVID, without another stay-at-home order and shutdown that gives me hope.

Scott Pelley: If there is a resurgence, can you beat that?

Elizabeth Johnson: I have to. Failure’s not an option.

Elizabeth Johnson at work

She has no option but to improvise. Her federal payroll protection money runs out in July. Can she open and stay open at the state mandated 50% capacity?

Elizabeth Johnson: It is a hope and a prayer that we do not have a second wave between now and then. It is a hope and a prayer that our customers are going to continue to support and frequent us. And that they aren’t just– trying to quarantine themselves in their homes.

The historic, $3 trillion federal bailout, was far-reaching but not far-sighted. Paycheck protection money for many businesses, higher unemployment benefits and bans on foreclosures for federally-backed mortgages run out this summer. In March, two days after the bailout was signed, the view from the Rose Garden was rosy.

President Trump on 3/29/20 in the White House Rose Garden: We can expect that, by June 1st, we will be well on our way to recovery. We think, by June 1st, a lot of great things will be happening.

Nine weeks later, June 1, the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office estimated a full recovery will take nine years. June 1 also saw at least 16 states with rising rates of infection, including Texas which had nearly 70,000 known infections and 1,700 dead.

Ron Nirenberg: We’re not ever gonna be out of the woods until there is therapy, until there is vaccine. And we have to learn to live with that.

San Antonio Mayor Ron Nirenberg

Ron Nirenberg is mayor of San Antonio.

Scott Pelley: Are there metrics that you look at every day, every hour to see if this is the right thing at the right time?

Ron Nirenberg: There are. The ones that we look at most closely are the hospitalizations. But we also wanna make sure that we’re not seeing a spike in the severity of cases, people that are needing ICU treatment.

Scott Pelley: And the data right now are telling you what?

Ron Nirenberg: We are seeing an increase in transmission as a result of new activities being introduced in the slow opening of the economy. But we are also seeing a stable rate of capacity in our hospitals. And an increase in the amount of testing that allows us to assess the breadth of this infection.

He’s managing the breadth of this infection with a plan San Antonio developed itself, including testing, door-to-door, to try to contain outbreaks before they explode.

Ron Nirenberg: We’ve put our public health professionals, our medical experts, out front to give us the data, the plain truth of what this is, good, bad and ugly.

Texas had one of the shortest stay-at-home periods. In May, it opened most businesses with significant limits. The early result is a record spike in known infections, according to the Texas Department of State Health Services.

Zanel Pizarro is reopening a licensed daycare in her home.

Zanel Pizarro: If one child gets sick, we have to close. So, praying that everybody stays healthy, and we can continue operating. We’ll just have to ensure that we are able to have enough revenue to continue operating.

Zanel Pizarro

She has three teachers on federal payroll protection. That will last her about four more weeks. She has a mortgage deferment that ends this month.

Zanel Pizarro: That money that we’re not paying in mortgage allow us to pay for food, and to keep the lights on.

Scott Pelley: You had how many children in the daycare before?

Zanel Pizarro: Twelve.

Scott Pelley: How many parents are bringing their kids back?

Zanel Pizarro: About eight.

Scott Pelley: What happened to the others?

Zanel Pizarro: The others decided to keep their children home for safety reasons.

That question of public confidence is in the impatient eyes of every masked business. If you cleanse it, will they come?

Scott Pelley: Do you think it’s too early to open or too late?

Geronimo Lopez: I think it’s a little too early, in my personal opinion, in the sense that we have not yet seen the drop in the numbers that we’re supposed to see. But then again, I’m a chef. You know, I wanna cook.

Geronimo Lopez

Geronimo Lopez took the leap and reopened his restaurant, Botika, at 50% capacity, after retraining many of the 45 employees he laid off.

Scott Pelley: What are you training your employees to do?

Geronimo Lopez: The minimum contact with the plate and with the guest that we can. People can download the menu and look at it in their phone. Contact-less pay options for our guests so there’s less interaction there.

Scott Pelley: Can you make a go of it at 50%?

Geronimo Lopez: This is our best bet at the moment. To tell you that I’m confident that we can do it will be a lie.

He can’t be confident until humanity returns to the empty halls of the $15 billion San Antonio tourism and convention industry. The city anticipates losing 40 million in hotel taxes alone and had to furlough 270 city workers. The virus turned a battle-cry into a question. Remember the Alamo? The 2018 Final Four was at the Alamodome. Today, the venue is known for images of thousands of cars lining up for food. The San Antonio Food Bank is spending about $6 million a week, much of that donated by local businesses.

Ron Nirenberg: Those pictures are an illustration of the level of desperation that millions of Americans have had prior to this pandemic.

The mayor told us the virus exposed a mirage in our former economy. Even in the good times, San Antonio had the highest poverty rate among the largest metro areas, about 15%. But poverty among Hispanics and blacks is double the rate for whites. The economy was strong, prosperity was fragile.

Ron Nirenberg: Those food banks lines doubled almost overnight when this crisis began and things began to shutter and shut down. Up to about 120,000 families in a week in those lines. That means that prior to this pandemic, when we were at 3% unemployment, when we had an economy that was on a roll — 60,000 families a week in San Antonio were dependent on the food bank for food. And those pictures represent the desperation that far too many American families have had to deal with.

Among the desperate, Jackie Galvan. In 2010, she was San Antonio’s realtor of the year. Then the pandemic killed the market.

Jackie Galvan: There’s nothing going on. A lotta my clients just are at fear of the unknown.

She too, had little to fall back on.

Jackie Galvan: I got my first unemployment check, woo-hoo!

Scott Pelley: First time ever?

Jackie Galvan: First time ever. That was an ordeal.

Now, she is fighting eviction.

Scott Pelley: And how far back on the rent are you now?

Jackie Galvan: It’s three months now.

There’s a ban on evictions from property with federally backed mortgages. But that ends nationwide in about two months. Galvan’s landlord doesn’t have a loan. And so, he wants her out now. She endures on the extra $600 a week in unemployment but that program ends nationally next month.

Jackie Galvan: I thought we’re all in this together, like every commercial says. And it wasn’t the case for me.

The balled-up rage after the death of George Floyd in police custody, rose in San Antonio too. And, as elsewhere, anger caused amnesia– face masks were forgotten. Before George Floyd, there was a protest in Texas over the masks themselves. Reopening pitted the Republican state government which wants fewer restrictions against the mayors of Dallas and Austin who are Democrats and Ron Nirenberg, who’s independent.

Scott Pelley: You received a letter from the Texas Attorney General’s office saying that your controls in San Antonio were too strict.

Nirenberg mandated masks, with the penalty of a fine. He included houses of worship in his ban on gatherings of more than 10 people.

Scott Pelley: They even accused you of, quote, “trampling religious freedom.”

Ron Nirenberg: So we have had a groundswell of support within our faith congregations that have allowed us to begin to open. The attorney general’s letter was simply trying to score cheap political points, which he has been doing his entire career.

The governor overruled Nirenberg’s mask mandate and exempted houses of worship. The Texas attorney general’s office told us that the cities, “grossly exceeded state law to impose their own will on private citizens…”

Scott Pelley: How did a public health emergency become political?

Ron Nirenberg: Well unfortunately, that’s the era we live. People are starting to get antsy and frustrated. There are people in political positions that are want to take advantage of that.

The conflict confused business owners. But restaurateur Geronimo Lopez found a way to cut though.

Geronimo Lopez: Well, what we decided to do was follow the higher standard. So, that’s how I think we can clear all the misinformation and just whatever is the higher standard for safety, that’s the one that we’re gonna follow.

In late May, cars lined up again, as they had for food, at the Alamodome. But this time they carried a nervous hope. San Antonio’s reopening plan gave away protective gear to 5,000 small businesses.

Including Elizabeth Johnson’s restaurant.

Elizabeth Johnson: Thermometers, face masks, face coverings. Hand sanitizer.

Scott Pelley: And you signed the pledge?

Elizabeth Johnson: I did sign the pledge, and it is now posted on my front door of my restaurant.

The San Antonio pledge is a commitment by businesses to masks, distancing, temperature checks, sanitizer, CDC cleaning protocols, contactless payment, and employee training. Not on the list; holding your breath, for the results of the great reopening experiment.

Scott Pelley: What gives you hope?

Elizabeth Johnson: What gives me hope is our community. My colleagues, my employees.

Scott Pelley: What are your fears going forward?

Elizabeth Johnson: My fears are that we have not even begun to see the bottom of this economic downturn. And that the next six months to a year is going to be the most trying time of our lives.

Produced by Nicole Young. Associate producers, Katie Kerbstat and Ian Flickinger. Field producers, Claire St. Amant and Mario Leal. Edited by Joe Schanzer.

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evyisaks · 7 years

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The Isak + Even fan fics that I'm currently reading Part One: (This could be a recommendation list I guess, but it's more of a list of fics that I'm currently reading, so the ones that I've already read aren't there. The list is also in random order. I’m going to make a part two because damn, I read so many fics.)

→ Let Me In | milk_o_vich

“What are you doing here?” Isak asked, unable to keep the anger out of his voice. Even’s eyes were wide and a little unfocused, flitting over Isak nervously. He was quiet for a long time, rain hitting the pavement outside, and Isak became kind of aware that Even must be freezing in his thin, damp t-shirt. Even pressed his lips together, then said, voice hoarse and quiet, “Can I stay here tonight?” (Isak and Even broke up months ago) → Expect the Unexpected | bri_ness

In which Snakesak plays Big Brother.

→ right click > save as | kittpurrson

Isak, a fic writer in the Minute by Minute fandom, had the world's biggest crush on the fandom's biggest name. Or: the fandomception AU, in which two boys fall in love over Discourse, gifsets, and increasingly dirty hashtags. → The Weight Of Us | verlore_poplap

Isak finally takes the plunge towards what's seemed like an inevitability for almost ten years.Of course that's when some guy comes along and ruins everything

.---Isak Valtersen is literally the last thing Even's life needs right now.It pretty horrifying how hard that is to remember, everytime he's around.

→ I Would Do It Again | cuteandtwisted

"I dare you to hook up with him."

"What? The blonde guy?" "Yes, the blonde guy."

Or Even gets caught up in a dare, and Isak loses a little bit of himself in the process.

→ Home is wherever am with you | cuteandtwisted

“Hi. I’m Even and I don’t usually walk around in nothing but a towel.” “Uh, I'm Isak.” “Isak. Mind if I kidnap you for some fun sightseeing activities?” Or Isak and Even keep meeting in hostels around the world and parting with a kiss or two. → blue like the night in cuba | piccadilly

Isak and Even meet on a train and spend a night exploring Paris, losing themselves and finding each other.Or, a Before Sunrise AU.

→ Livredderen | Kudzibisa

I et parallelt univers møtes Isak og Even under dramatiske omstendigheter. Even er førstemann til ulykkesstedet når Isak havner i et voldsomt bilkrasj.Det blir et første møte som ingen av dem klarer å glemme.

Eller AU der Even (helt bokstavelig talt) redder Isak. Redder Isak han tilbake?

→ Summer Love | Chips2

Even has just finished University. He decides to spend summer at his parent's holiday house in the Norwegian countryside where he has been coming since childhood. He knows Isak, one of the locals, who has recently graduated from high school and is spending his break helping his dad out at his kayak shop.

Two boys from different backgrounds, both embarking on new chapters in their lives who find their worlds intertwined during their holidays and on one particularly hot summer break.

→ Little Harbour | MermaidsandMermen (SophiaSoames)

The all grown up AU where Even is lost and Isak is Norway's favourite Midwife. It is what it is.Title from It's the dream by Norwegian poet Olav V HaugeIt's the dream we carry in secret, that something miraculous will happen. That It must happen, that time will open, that the heart will open, that doors will open, that the rockface will open, that spring will gush.

That the dream will open, that one morning we will glide into some little harbour we didn't know was there.

→ stay a minute | grinsekaetzchen

"The leads of Even Bech Næsheim’s new 'Romeo and Juliet' adaption were announced yesterday, with Eva Kviig Mohn taking to Twitter to confirm, ‘Looking forward to playing Julieeeeet’. Her fellow Romeo was announced shortly after to be Isak Valtersen, which his publicist confirmed today. It seems that this will be Norway’s new star-crossed pair of lovers."

In which there is a tumblr fandom that is dying every time new information for said version of 'Romeo and Juliet' drops, Even is a beloved director and Isak - well, Isak would just really appreciate it if his mind would stop surprising him with memories at the worst moments possible.

→ it's about growing up, getting older, living on a lover's shoulder (it's about time) | babyturtle

The Sana-and-Isak-Childhood-Friends ft. Bookclubs AU you didn't know you were looking for.

Sana and Isak might've spent more time fighting than reading the first day the met, but sometimes that's just how it goes. Usually. Usually that's how it goes. With Sana and Isak specifically. In their mostly dysfunctional two person book club.

Or, life is hard and growing up harder, but take my hand and I'm right there with you.

→ torches (life's too short) | xxLeviBech

"My mom used to tell me my thoughts would pour out of my ears if I kept thinking too hard." Isak threw back another fry, keeping his gaze down.

"That's pretty fucked up, man." Even deadpanned, making Isak snap his head up in a laugh

."Fuck you," He giggled, tossing one of the soggier ones at Even and being decidedly unimpressed when he caught it in his mouth.

Or, a canon divergence AU in which Isak's childhood is exponentially more severe -- where he can't remember coming to school without bruises, a bottle of hand-sanitizer, and long sleeves. It's fine, he's fine. It wasn't for his friends, though; and that's how he wound up here, in a fold-up chair every Tuesday and Friday, talking about his experiences with other post-secondary kids diagnosed with some kind of PTSD. It's also where meets a guy whose name starts with the same letters as everything, because that's... exactly what he is.

→ Come On, Set the Tone | boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug

Isak is a recently out popstar who wants to prove that he is not just another pretty face in pop music and has the skills to make his own way in the musical world (just like his newly found idol, Even Bech Naesheim).

Even is a self contained, indie singer songwriter who takes shit from nobody - anyone in his cult following will tell you (including a certain popstar).Shortly after a public feud between the two begins, they’re forced together for a nationwide tour. 9 weeks, 50 shows, and countless hours (together) on the tour bus leave Even writing cryptic love songs and Isak wondering if he should leave everything he knows behind.

Ft. BL!SS, Balloon Squad, Wireless Problems, Jonas, and the Wobbles

→ Parallel Universe | RunningGirl

What if Even goes his own way, leaving Isak behind? What if he regrets it? What if he's given the chance to see what would have happened if he stayed?

Even made a decision after college. A decision he's regretted for five years. He's given the opportunity to see what would have happened if he hadn't made that decision. A glimpse into a parallel universe.

#skam #isak and even #evak #isak valtersen #even bech næsheim #fan fics #so many fics #omg #like wow #it's like 30 fics....#wtf

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forresthom-blog · 6 years

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12/02/19 Experiencing the New World: Crossing the Atlantic and Reading Old Scribblings

The past few days have been riddled with firsts: my first time flying alone, my first time in America, and my first time calling up and working with archival resources. Compared to my previous entries that have had an informative, historical angle, this post contains primarily my own musings about everything that has happened to me since I started my adventure at 3am last Friday. From an empty plane to crowding around the signatures of the Founding Fathers, and from being given free bread for being British to learning how to cross the road again - check out the first (and incredibly long) installment of The Making of the Angels in Blue right here!

Flying over the Atlantic. The ocean looked majestic and placid from so high. In the time of the Civil War, it took around two weeks to cross by boat. News reports also had to cross with the boats (there had been a functioning transatlantic telegraph cable in 1858 that shortened communication times to minutes, but it broke after just three weeks).

My journey from Birmingham to Bethesda, Maryland (a suburb of Washington, DC) took just under twenty-one hours. Only my final leg of my trip from Bethesda’s Metro station to my accommodation was made using a mode of transport available in the 1860s (foot!).

Economy class was almost empty! So, I spread out across three seats. My long haul plane flight was not long enough; I was actually disappointed to get off my flight and stop watching films, listening to music, playing solitaire, staring out the window, getting waited on by cabin crew, and getting twice as many drinks as if the flight was full. I can only hope that the flight will be just as empty on my overnight trip home...

Twenty-two years of observing the United States of America from afar - whether it be through TV, film, the news, sports, music, and so on - has resulted in me constructing a highly detailed, and doubtless prejudiced, perspective of what the self-professed ‘Land of the Free’ is like. Consequently, a lot of my initial reactions to the country are seen through this prejudiced lens. Nevertheless, the airport was huge, the border security was sharp, and the roads were several lanes wide. So far, my impression of America was as expected! Then, on the Metro, I had friendly chats with three strangers (from memory, this has never happened in my years of using the Tube). To top it all, on the night of my arrival, I went to Trader Joe’s for bread and milk and a very attentive shop assistant noticed I was struggling to find what I was looking for. When she discovered that I had just arrived that afternoon, I was given free parbaked bread rolls to welcome me to the United States. America and Americans certainly did not disappoint me!

Paying a visit to President Trump’s humble abode - perhaps I could post him a letter asking him nicely to not close any of my archives while I am researching for my dissertation...

My first full day was spent sightseeing around the centre of Washington, DC. Around every corner was hidden a new monument, building, or yet another star spangled banner. French-American military engineer Pierre Charles L’Enfant (1754-1825) drew up the plans for the capital city of the USA. It was designed to be a grand metropolis full of neo-classical architecture and monuments to great Americans. The National Mall from the the Lincoln Memorial to the Capitol Building is a staggering three kilometres in length. It was exciting to see in person all the views I had seen hundreds of times in photos and videos.

One view was particularly striking. As I was walking towards the Lincoln Memorial alongside the Reflecting Pool (which is much bigger than it looks), I turned to look back at the Washington Monument. L’Enfant’s plan for the National Mall was highly uniform with all the monuments aligned and symmetrical. By the side of the Reflecting Pool, I was slightly off centre and as such I caught a glimpse of the great neo-classical dome of the Capitol peering out from behind the Washington Monument which - due to L-Enfant’s exact design - had hidden the seat of Congress. Out loud I said, “bl$#dy h*ll”!

Here is the view of Congress that made me audibly swear. Admittedly, a phone camera and my limited photography skills do not pay justice to how breathtaking the view really was. The bright white of its dome and its sheer size (at 87.8m it is less than 10m shorter than Big Ben) was what impressed me most. A further result of the impressive architectural planning of the city, when I cross Pennsylvania Avenue to get to the National Archives, there is a stunning view of the Capitol Buidling perfectly framed by the buidlings either side of the road leading up to it. Unfortunately, due to crossing a busy main road each time, I have not managed to snap this view...

Escaping the cold, I then took a couple of quick trips around the Smithsonian’s Natural History Museum and National Gallery (in case a certain peculiarly orange gentleman with hair that blows away in the wind decided to close them again at the end of the week). Perhaps the most exciting thing for me at the National Gallery was a collection of three John Constable paintings. Constable lived and worked along the Essex-Suffolk border in the country that now bears his name: Constable Country. I grew up close to where Constable lived and worked; it was great to see his work exhibited so prominently so far from England and to see a little piece of Constable Country residing across the pond.

To finish my day, I went to the public side of the National Archives to see the originals of the Declaration of Independence and Constitution. I was inches from the signatures of all the Founding Fathers: most notably George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, James Madison and the world famous Broadway star Alexander Hamilton...

The most challenging thing that has faced me so far in the city has been crossing the roads. The roads here are massive and so are the cars. The crossings all look different and some are zebra crossings as we know them in Britain and some look like them but are most certainly not. Cars give way to pedestrians on ‘crosswalks’, but it feels wrong when you are just casually walking across the road in downtown Washington, DC and all the cars are just letting you go. The worst part, however, is waiting to cross not knowing whether you are allowed to ‘jaywalk’ when there are no cars but the crossing is still at ‘wait’, or if the police will spring out from nowhere and reprimand me. Anyway, I am sure I will learn.

On Sunday, I chilled out and recovered from my exhaustive day of endless walking, exploring, and road crossing (!) from the day before. Until the afternoon when I was itching to continue discovering new things. I had heard from some of my housemates that there were spare bikes in the garage. They had also talked to me about the Capital Crescent Trail and how good it was for running and cycling. So, it would have just been plain rude to not have taken a bike ride down the trail!

Getting out of Bethesda and cycling the Capital Crescent Trail was a welcome break from the city. It was now nature’s turn to astound me. What was most impressive was the magnitude of the open space I witnessed on my ride. Despite the vast majority of my journey being within the District of Columbia, the wide expansiveness of North America was tangible nonetheless.

The trail follows an disused railway line of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad that mainly served to deliver goods to Georgetown in the Northwest of the District of Columbia. It also runs alongside the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal and the Potomac River.

Even though I was only a couple of miles from the centre of Washington and was within the District of Columbia itself, the air was clear and I was surrounded by trees, nature and many local residents running, cycling and strolling down the path.

Another breathtaking glimpse of an iconic monument that Ben’s photography pays no justice. This time, it was the turn of the Washington Monument appearing in the distance across the fast-flowing and very wide Potomac River. I learned the day before that when it was completed, the Washington Monument was the tallest building in the world (555ft [169m]). However, at 150ft (46m) up, the quarry used for the stone changes. There is a clear line where the colour changes. I am sure that if you are building the world’s tallest building, you can at least keep the colour of its stone consistent. Now I have seen the colour change, I cannot unsee it.

How very off-putting. L’Enfant was not alive when the structure he planned was completed in 1848, but I am sure he was still seething about that ridiculous colour change.

Yet, the weekend soon came to an end and it was time to get cracking on what I traveled over three and a half thousand miles to do: visiting archives!

Against my initial plans, my work this week was primarily at the National Archives and Records Administration. It was closed as part of the longest government shutdown in history throughout the end of December and January. The threat is that the funding, which runs out on Friday, will not be renewed and the archives will be forced to close again.

The National Archives building keeps up Washington’s neo-classical theme with its impressive columns. Flanking the research entrance, are two plinths with quotes engraved. The lefthand quote is above: WHAT IS PAST IS PROLOGUE. A meaningful quote alluding to an idea that all of history has led up to this moment and that by researching history we can discover how we got here. This notion is slightly teleological (the concept that history has a direction and an overall goal), but it is interesting and thought-provoking nonetheless. In comparison, the righthand quote reads: STUDY THE PAST. Which seems rather dull and uninspired. Almost as if someone asked a bored historian what they get up to, ‘I study the past. I am a historian’.

It was exciting to be going to a real archives, looking at real documents, for real research and I almost felt like a real historian and not the amateur imposter that I really am! In all seriousness, it was daunting filling out request forms for the documents I wanted. It was also a privilege to be working in the National Archives where the general public do not get to visit. It was an even greater privilege to be able to read through the letter books of the Civil War.

The greatest difficulty I found was reading the nineteenth-century handwriting. Once tuned in, it was less challenging.

Inside a snazzy lift that is a pretty good match for my top. By my second day at the National Archives, I felt at home moving between the reading room, consultation room and the canteen for lunchtime and was beginning to recognise security guards and archive assistants began to learn my name. ‘A trolley for Forrest!’: being the call when a large set of letters sent to the Surgeon General arrived. Although it was exciting hearing my name called, the trolley of letters meant I had a lot of hunting to do for my small handful of indexed letters I was searching for.

All in all, this is a very long but potted summary of my first five days traveling to, around and working in the United States. I have enjoyed immersing myself in the friendly, go-getter culture of America and it has been amazing experiencing so many things that I have seen for years on screen (hearing and seeing fire engines with firemen leaning on the window while they roar down the street is a highlight, alongside the grand buildings and monuments of DC). Well done if you stuck with my longest post so far all the way to the end!

My plans for the coming days are to finish up my work at the National Archives and look to begin my most important work at the Library of Congress by the end of the week. I also plan to visit the National Portrait Gallery - which is right outside the Metro station I take to the National Archives. On Saturday, I plan to go to Fletcher’s Cove Parkrun which is on the Capital Crescent Trail.

Upcoming blog posts include an amusing story of an Amulance Corps Captain and his stuggle to acquire paint and hopefully my experiences of being a ‘Fresh Fish’ Civil War recruit when I take part in a reenactment with the 3rd US reenactors on Saturday the 23rd of February.

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queertransjew-blog · 7 years

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top surgery revision recap

A little background: I had top surgery on Monday, July 17 of this year. I had a hysterectomy about 1.5 weeks later, on Friday, July 28, so I asked for the drains to be pulled the day before, even though it was a little early for the one side according to how much was draining, because I didn't want to have to deal with the drains while getting a second surgery.

On hindsight, that probably wasn't the greatest idea, considering a seroma formed on the right side, where the drains had still been outputting a little bit more. I went back and had it drained 1-2x a week for the next month, but scar tissue formed, and so I had surgery yesterday, Oct 30, to have the scar tissue taken out.

I'm not upset with my doctor for pulling the drains, and the seroma could have even happened after pulling the drains at the right time. Of course, if I could go back in time, I would've just put up with the drains through the hysterectomy, but honestly I had no idea that this was going to happen, so...

Usually, revisions can be done in-office under a local anesthetic, but my surgeon (Dr. Bluebond-Langner at NYU) thought, due to the amount of scar tissue, it would be a better idea to put me under because it would be less uncomfortable for me. Which was fine with me, I wasn't too fond of the idea of being opened up while still awake.

I had to be at the hospital at 9 am. I got there a little early, check in, was brought back, a nurse took my vitals, etc. Then, I changed into the very fashionable, one-size-fits-all hospital gown and grippy socks, and brushed my teeth, like they tell you to do. She also asked if I still had a uterus, because if so, I'd need to take a pregnancy test. But I said no, so I did not, which was pretty nice. It'd be even nicer if I didn't have to answer that question, but...

Also, my gender was marked as 'female' on my wristband, which was frustrating, and I didn't remember that being the case when I had top surgery, but it must have been? Anyway, I guess next time I get surgery there I'll have to get that fixed.

My mom was brought back to wait with me. Then, I waited a while for Dr. BL. When she came in, she looked at my chest, since she hadn't seen it since I saw her mid-September. I told her it was looking better, probably because the swelling had gone down.

She agreed. At my last appointment in her office, she'd said she may need to put a drain in after the revision to be sure that another seroma didn't happen. Understandably so, considering why go through another surgery if the same issue was just going to happen again? But I was also like, ugh. Because drains suck.

But when I saw her yesterday, she said she didn't think we needed a drain anymore, and she was just going to use glue. I imagined her glueing me together with Elmer's glue, which I'm sure isn't the reality of it, but it's a funny visual. Anyway, I was much happier about that. She marked me up, branded me with her initials on my chest, and then left.

Then, I waited a very long time for the anesthesiologist to come in. I was supposed to go in for my surgery at 10:30, but when I went into the OR, I noticed it was about 11:15, so I'm not sure what exactly caused us to be running late, but it wasn't really a big deal.

The anesthesiologist was really nice. I told her that when I had my top surgery, I had been super groggy for hours afterward and hadn't been able to stay awake. She said she would try not to have that happen again.

Then, the OR nurse came in, talked to me, asked me more questions, and then finally I said goodbye to my mom and was brought back to the OR. The nurse was really nice, we were joking with each other as we walked down the hallway. I liked her, it felt like she was making an effort to distract me which was much appreciated.

I got into the OR, laid down, and they went to work attaching me to monitors, putting compression tubes around my lower legs, etc. The anesthesiologist took 3 tries to get an IV started in my hand. I normally have bad veins, even after being hydrated and fed, so I can understand the difficulty considering I hadn't drank or eaten anything since last night, and the room was also cold.

They started me on some 'relaxation' drugs, and the anesthesiologist said she was going to give me some oxygen beforehand, but I don't remember that happening.

I just remember waking up, either when they were rolling me into recovery or just in the recovery room itself. I asked if I had a drain in (I think about three times, haha), and they said no each time. They asked how I was feeling, and I said ok, just a little nauseous, and if I was in pain, which I really wasn't. They said they could give me two things for the nausea, and I can't remember the other option, but I opted for a shot in my arm. It hurt pretty badly, like, the pain from that was worse than anything else, and my arm is still a little sore the next morning. But it worked and I was not nauseous afterward.

Then, my mom was brought back and I asked if she had talked to Dr. BL, and she said she had, that it had went really well. Then, I guess the nurses asked me mom to leave for a while and told me to try to sleep.

I slept for a little while, I have no idea how long. But then I told them I was feeling ok when a nurse came back, and they asked if I wanted to sit in a chair, and I said yes. I also told them I had to go to the bathroom so they let me do that.

I was then sat in a chair, and they asked if I wanted anything to drink, so I asked for tea. I really wanted coffee, but they said it could make me nauseous again.

They said they could give me fentanyl if I wanted it, and I said no. I just wanted tylenol. So they gave me tylenol. I'm not a fan of narcotics. Then my mom came back, and I got some graham crackers.

Then they let me get dressed, and explained to me the post-op instructions, and then I was free to go. Initially, they had told me I would need to spend 23 hours in the hospital afterward, but I think because I didn't have the drain they let me go early.

Oh, and also, my mom talked to Dr. BL after my surgery, and she said (quoted from a text from my mom): "She came Out All smiles and said it went very well took out the extra tissue which wasn’t much and said that she knows how anxious you are but it will all be fine- just give it Time".

On the way out, I got an apple juice and a Clif protein bar from the cafe. I was hungry. I also saw one of the three nurses that took care of me, since apparently they were all going on their breaks around the same time, and waved to her.

Overall, it went really well. I wasn't misgendered at all by nurses or hospital staff (at least, not to my face) like I was last time, though I think I pass a little bit better than I did in July. But all the staff who took care of me were really nice.

Then we went home and I got changed and laid in bed. I peeked at my chest, and it looked good. They told me I'm allowed to shower the next day, and Dr. Bluebond even said I could go out for Halloween if I want (I'm not going to, haha, but...).

I'm just super anxious about the seroma coming back, but I'm trying not to be, and trying to trust that my surgeon did the right thing, which I'm sure she did. I'm going to take it really easy and hang out all this week. From what Dr. BL said, it seemed like I could go back to class pretty quickly, but because I thought I was going to have a drain in, I had already told all my professors and my job that I was going to be out for about two weeks. I'd much rather chill at home than stress myself out trying to get to class all wrapped up in a compression binder and carry a bag and etc., so I'll milk my time off a little.

I'm not a fan of sitting around, but I know that not moving and relaxing is probably what's best for me at this moment. I would much rather spend this week sedentary, lying in bed and watching Stranger Things, than potentially causing another complication. I'm sure I'll be back to my normal life in no time.

I'll keep updating y'all if anything else notable happens. Right now, the best case scenario happened -- I didn't have to stay in the hospital overnight, and I don't have any drains. I can shower today, too, instead of waiting a week, like after top surgery. Of course, having to get another surgery after already having two over the summer wasn't ideal, but, things happen.

If anyone has questions, I'd be happy to answer them. I'll also maybe post some pictures once I don't have to wear the binder anymore.

I know it seems like most guys have top surgery and heal really well and quickly. But, obviously that's not the case for anyone, and while complications are super frustrating, most problems can be fixed.

---

So I wrote the above right after my surgery. It’s been almost three weeks since then. I had glue over my incisions, and at my first post-op a week after, Dr. Bluebond removed the glue. She took the foam padding out of my binder but told me to keep wearing it.

Later that day, I noticed some fluid in my chest on the side where the revision had been done. Obviously, this was worrying to me. But I put my binder on and tried to ignore it. When I took a shower later in the day, I massaged the area where the fluid was, and it all started draining out of the incision around my nipple. Which I guess was a good thing, because my chest was flat afterward.

The fluid came back the next day, and my nipple also looked pretty gross and raw, so I emailed Dr. Bluebond’s office, and was told to come in the next day. Dr. Bluebond gave me Aquacel to put on the incision, thinking that perhaps the bactroban I had been putting on the incision was irritating it. She also drained the fluid in my chest.

I went back the next week, and she again drained a little bit more of the fluid. I was told to keep putting the Aquacel on my incision, but to alternate it with Aquaphor.

It’s been almost a week since then. After the fluid was drained a second time, it didn’t return. My nipple has finally been healing. I truly believe Aquaphor works miracles. My chest looks great and I’m really happy with it. I have my next post-op appointment with her in a day, and I’m hoping I’ll be cleared to return to the gym.

As always, I’m happy to answer any questions. If I’m cleared to stop wearing my binder on Tuesday, I’ll also post some pictures, despite my nipple still being in the process of healing.

#ftm #transgender #female to male #top surgery #nyu langone #dr. bluebond-langner #peri #periareolar

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