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honeylemonteaasblog · 2 months

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Your Protectors

summary: Five years ago you went missing, and now that they found you again they’ll never let you go again.

pairing: ot7 x reader

genre: mafia, a little angst but not much, a little fluff but not much, second chance romance

word count: 4.1 k

warning (not detailed): parent abuse, violence, death, sexual violence [protective boys, emotional Namjoon, I’ll burn the world down for you and never let a single flame touch you]

“T-Taehyung” Your voice shook as you looked at the man in front of you. You used to wish that they would come to rescue you, but they never did. You were left to save yourself, and you did. But now one of the boys from your past is here, standing in front of you instead of haunting you in your dreams. To be fair, he looks equally shocked. Taehyung is standing in front of you, mouth agape and eyes wide. Clearly, he didn’t know that you were going to be here. He hadn’t been looking for you, but after all these years you never expect him to be.

“Oh my god. I thought— we thought you were dead.” He continues to babble in front of you, but you can’t stay here. You just killed a man in the bathroom behind you and you need to get out of the club. You glance behind you once before shoving past Taehyung, which was easier then it should of been, but you think it’s because he still looks like he’s seen a ghost. Honestly, you know the feeling.

It takes him a moment to come to his senses so you are already down the hall when he calls out your name. You look back to see that he’s holding his phone up to his ear, probably calling one of the others. You really need to get out of here. Now. As you turn the corner towards the back door you make eye contact with Hoseok across the room. He’s sitting with Jimin and Jungkook in a roped off area of the club, clearly meant for VIPs. Fuck.

You turn before Hoseok can even make a noise, but you saw his shocked expression and you saw him hit Jimin in the shoulder and point in your general direction. You don’t wait for Jimin to look up, instead you turn and run.

You make it to your bike just before the door slams against the brick wall. You want to look back, even if it’s just to get another look at one of them, but you know you shouldn’t so you keep your gaze fixed ahead. You’re on your bike and tearing away before they have time to catch you. Only when you are about to turn the corner, do you glance behind you to see all four of them watching you. You knew that they would be. You want to go to them because you remember how comforting their hugs were, but you know that you can’t, not anymore.

You and the boys were best friends five years ago. Honestly, you were more than friends, but you all were too scared to put a label on it. But none that mattered because all of you knew that you loved one another. Within in your little bubble, the eight of you could simply exist and be happily in love with each other. But the reality was that the world was a judgmental place. All of you were scared that it’s judgement would taint your love.

You’d found the boys when you ran away from home. You were only 16 at the time and they had found you shivering in an alleyway that you’d been sleeping in for a couple of nights. They took you to their small apartment that Yoongi rented. They all lived together most of the time, but you quickly learned that Namjoon was the heir to a prominent mafia family so he couldn’t stay at the apartment often. Seokjin and Yoongi were gone a lot too, helping Namjoon. But Taehyung and Jimin who weren’t much older than you took care of you, claiming that they were older so it was their job to protect you. Jungkook claimed he would too even though you both were the same age, muttering something about being a man that made you roll your eyes.

But they did protect you. The seven of them saved you when you were scared and protected you when you couldn’t. They did their best to chase away all your fears away. Probably for the first time in your life you felt cared for; you felt loved.

You still remember when you went to a convenience store on your way back from school one day, it was in the winter so it got dark early. A man, probably late 20s, had pushed you up against the wall and was trying to get you to come home with him. If he cared, he probably should have chosen a different tactic… you know besides cornering and threatening a girl. It was clear that he didn’t actually care what you wanted, or felt for that matter. You had been trying to push him away when he suddenly was flying off you. Yoongi pinned the man to the floor and punched him. After he got a few good punches in, Seokjin pulled him off the man and told him to leave in voice that promised violence. The guy had ran without looking back.

The two boys turned to you with concerned eyes. Their once angry faces softened when they saw the tears streaking down your face. Seokjin pulled you into his arms and started whispering reassurances into your ear, then they walked you home. The rest of the boys were equally as angry and honestly looked a little upset that they hadn’t been the one to punch the guy. Yoongi just looked smug.

Though the seven of them were involved in the mafia, especially as they got older, they did their best to keep you as far away from it as possible. They promised themselves that they would do everything in their power to protect you. Yet, they also couldn’t find it in themselves to leave you. They loved you too much to ever walk away from you, despite the risks.

So when you were kidnapped they blamed themselves. They thought that they were the reason that you were taken. If only they had known the truth. If only you had told them the truth, then maybe they would’ve been able to help you. At the very least, they wouldn’t have blamed themselves as much; you would’ve been naive to think that the seven boys that you loved, that loved and protected you wouldn’t blame themselves at all. You just wanted to lessen their hurt.

The truth was that you were born into the mafia, just like Namjoon. You were the daughter of a powerful man in the mafia and while he wasn’t the leader, he was still important. He was important enough that you, his daughter, was valuable in securing an alliance with another mafia family. When you overheard your father basically selling you off as a bride to a man twice your age you took your chances and ran.

The first thing you did when you were safe enough, even if you were still staying on the streets, was find some decent looking guy to have sex with. Your family was old school and wanted a virgin bride. You would never let your father take that choice away from you. So, you had sex with a somewhat handsome man, who was young enough, and didn’t ask too many questions or pressure you into anything more than one night. There are times when you’d wish that you would have waited and one of the boys could have been your first, but you also know that, at the time, it was the only way that you’d be able to protect yourself. It was a choice you made for yourself, which felt empowering despite everything. If your father caught you, at least he couldn’t marry you off and tie your life to someone else. It was the only thing you could do to protect your future, and you would take anything you could get.

The boys were always so clear that they didn’t want you involved in their lifestyle, that they wanted you safe. So you never knew how to tell them that you had been involved. That you had run. You knew that they would still love you, but you weren’t sure if they would let you stay with them. When they got worried about a threat to your safety they weren’t the most understanding. You never knew how to bring it up, but as the years passed you thought that you might have truly escaped from your father. You never should have been so naive, so reckless.

When your father did find you and bring you home, the boys had no idea where to look. They certainly wouldn’t look towards your father’s mafia. Obviously you regretted keeping it a secret, but you hated that the boys would blame themselves when they were never the ones at fault. You hated the idea that you were causing them pain because despite everything you loved them.

You loved them with everything you had because in those years together you all had molded yourselves to fit together perfectly. When you were taken away from them it felt like someone had torn your heart out. Even now, five years later your heart still beats for them. You knew that you would never love anyone else the way that you loved those seven men and you carried that with you through all the hard times. You held onto that love like a dirty secret when everything else was falling apart, giving you hope despite the darkness. They might not believe it, but their love continued to protect you long after they were ripped out of your life.

The next time you saw the boys was when you were at the gym. You had been in the fighting ring with Daejoon. You loved fighting him because you were equally matched. It felt good to finally pin him after fighting for a while. Every time you won, even during training, you felt this rush of power. After being at other people’s mercy for so long the little bits of control and power you felt were intoxicating. It’s the main reason why you kept coming back to the gym to train, and why you would often fight in the ring.

You aren’t sure how the boys found you, but really you shouldn’t be surprised. After Namjoon’s father died a few years ago he would have inherited the title. With that came a lot of power, so finding you shouldn’t have been impossible, especially after you killed someone in his club. It’s why it hurt a little more that they hadn’t found you before. You had more or less found them instead. Accidentally, but still.

You heard Namjoon call out your name and you really didn’t want to look up, but he tone didn’t give you much of a choice. They were all looking at you. “We need to talk.” You nodded because despite everything, you still loved them and could never deny them anything, even when it’d be better if you did. It hurt to hear the vulnerability in Namjoon’s voice. To know that after five years, he still cared about you and he still wanted to know you. It hadn’t been a command, but a plea.

You see the pride in their eyes and realize that they had been watching the fight. That they saw you in a new light now. They saw that you were no longer the helpless teenager that had been torn away from them. They saw that you were stronger now and could literally fight for what you wanted. Instead of feeling threatened, they looked proud.

Realistically he should be worried you are a threat, but instead he just looks exhausted and worried. As you walk over to him he reaches out to you like he wants to hug you and it breaks your heart because it feels like no time has passed and just yesterday you were cuddled up on the couch. But that’s not true and the girl that you are now is a completely different girl than who you were when you all fell in love as teenagers. So, he may think that he still loves you, but you aren’t sure anyone is capable of loving you anymore. So you keep your distance and pretend like you don’t see the hurt splash across his face when you don’t fall into his arms like you used to.

“Namjoon” Your voice breaks and if it were possible, he looks even more heartbroken. “I’m s-so s-sorry. I can’t be here.” You shake your head and start to step back because this was a bad idea. You knew this was a bad idea. But you meet Jungkook’s chest instead. His arms come around to circle your waist. “Sweetheart, let us in. Please”

You want to shake your head. You want to pull away. But you can’t bring yourself to move. For five years you’ve dreamed of them and now that they’re really here you aren’t sure how to handle the situation. You may have dreamed about the boys, but those were only dreams. You had given up on them being a part of your life. “I’m not the same girl I was five years ago.” You don’t want me anymore.

The rest of the boys come around you also. “We aren’t the same either, princess.”

You find yourself nodding. With Namjoon now being the head of his mafia family they couldn’t be. And that hurt you more than you wanted to admit, so you pushed that down and tried to focus. “I can’t stay here. He’ll look for me.” Your words are soft as you finally give in and lean back into Jungkook’s arm. He easily supports you, holding you even closer like he is worried you might disappear if he loosens his hold. Its like the only place he knows you are safe is in his arms.

“Who? Princess, who took you from us?” Seokjin’s voice is soft despite the hard look on his face. He looks like he is ready to burn the world down for you. It looks like he would happily watch the world burn around you all if it meant keeping you safe. Some things never change.

You shake your head. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you but I worried about what would happen… I thought that it would be okay, but I don’t know why I ever thought that because it’s not fine. Nothing is ever fine.” As you begin to cry and your rant becomes harder to understand. You have been holding yourself together for so long by yourself. You aren’t even sure how you made it because now that you think about it, you are exhausted. Being in Jungkook’s arms and surrounded by the others makes you feel like taking a breath of fresh air after being forced under water. It makes you feel a little lightheaded, but in a good way.

Namjoon’s hands find your face, tilting you up to look at him. It grounds you, just like he always was able to.

“My father.” You feel the men around you still at your words, trying to process this part of you that you never gave to them before. It hurts to think about the lies you told them about your family. They protected you from anything and everything, but you were never fully honest with them. You were so scared that it might change your relationship, that they might leave you because they wouldn’t love you. All those fears are still there, but now you are so much more broken and you can’t imagine that they will ever look at you the same, let alone love you. No matter how kind they may be now, five years is a long time. You are a completely different person than you used to be. You’re broken. You don’t know how to truly love anymore. Well, not in the same way at least. And you don’t know how to be loved anymore.

You’ve been alone for so long that you no longer know how to rely on anyone anymore. Your father made sure that you never had anyone to rely on. He told you that no one was coming to rescue you because no one cared enough. He forced you to become so independent that you weren’t sure what you could offer the men that you still loved. You no longer had anything to offer them, so you weren’t sure why they would care for you anymore.

Hoseok shoved his boss aside so he could hold your face in his hands, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “It’s okay Sunshine. We will protect you now… like we should have before.” His voice trails off when a look of anguish replaces it.

“Little one, I-I’m so sorry that we failed you.” You feel tears well up in your eyes as you hear Namjoon’s voice break. Namjoon is the head of a prominent mafia family. He is one of the strongest men that you know, but he isn’t afraid of showing his emotion to the people that he cares for. Hearing his voice filled with sorrow, guilt, and pain makes you want to reach out and cradle the larger man. You hold myself back because you can’t.

“You don’t understand. My father will never let me go.” You pull out of Jungkook’s hold a little so you can steel your spine and put on a brave face. You know that you will need it. “I’m not his daughter, not really. I’m just a tool to wield. And he would never let one of his investments go.” You keep your face neutral even as you see their anger. It makes you want to reach out and comfort them, but you don’t. Involuntarily, your fingers twitch at your side.

You swear the you hear one of them growl, you think it came from Yoongi who is standing to your right. He stays just out of reach which makes your heart clench painfully. It’s like he isn’t sure if your really here and the little bit of space between you will protect his heart if you aren’t real. It’s like he wouldn’t survive you being taken from him again, even if it’s only in his head.

“I have to go. I have to leave because it’s the only way that I can protect myself.” The vulnerability in your voice makes them want to bundle you up in their arms so nothing can hurt you ever again. Jungkook’s fingers twitch at your sides because he want to hold you closer, but knows that it isn’t his decision to make. Enough men have made decisions for you; he won’t.

They would gladly be your shield if it meant that you could rest for a while. They would take on the world for you. They would take on anything and challenge everyone who dared harm you no matter the consequences. There is nothing they wouldn’t fight if it meant that you wouldn’t be forced to be alone again.

“I know that you can protect yourself, little one. I know that you are capable of fighting your battles, and I will gladly stand by and watch you.” Namjoon sounds so sure of himself. He sounds so sure of you and that confidence alone makes you look up to meet his eyes. You aren’t sure what you expect to see, but all you see is pride in his eyes. He looks so fucking proud of you and you aren’t sure what to make of that, not used to seeing such emotion.

“But just because I know that, it doesn’t mean that you have to prove it every time. Letting someone else protect you doesn’t make you weak.” When you glance at the others around him, you see they are all looking at you with the same promise. They are looking at you like you hung the stars and moon. Like you are the only thing that matters. They look at you with such intensity and emotion that you feel yourself shifting on your feet from the weight of their gazes. Jungkook’s hands land on your hips and pull you closer to his chest.

“I-I know. And I want to… I really do. But I don’t know how to.” You find that you are telling them the truth. You wanted them to save you for so long and even if you did give up, you never stopped dreaming about them. You never stopped loving them either. You don’t think that you could ever stop loving the seven boys that loved you in the best way that they could. The boys that swore to protect you from all the darkness in the world. The boys that love you despite five years of distance. You don’t think you’ll ever deserve these men, but your selfish so you also never want to give them up. You realize that despite everything, you want to be enough for them. You’d fight to be the person that they are worthy of.

They wouldn’t want to hear your thoughts though because to them, you are already everything. You give them a reason to be alive. You are the center of their world and the gravity that keeps them tethered to earth. Without you, they would float aimlessly without any direction in life. So, even if you don’t see it, they will make sure to remind you of that every single day for the rest of their lives. And one day, you’ll realize just how deeply they love you and that together you will get through the hard days.

“Shhh… It’s okay. You don’t need to know everything, we can figure it out together.” Jimin rubs circles on the inside of your wrist, trying to comfort you. But you know that Jimin likes to hold the inside of your wrist to feel your pulse. You think that he may be trying to comfort himself, just as much as he is trying to comfort you.

“I’ve always done everything on my own.” You’re barriers that were already barely up around them have fallen away completely. You sink back into Jungkook’s embrace. He peppers soft kisses on your neck and in your hair. His hands tighten around your hips. It makes you smile and twist around to bury your head into his neck. You think that this, being with them and hidden away in their embrace, may be your favorite place. You think that you would feel safe no matter where you are as long as your with your boys.

“We are here now. You’ll never be alone again.” You opened your mouth to protest Jungkook’s reassurance. But he cuts you off before you could even start. “We’ll learn together.” His hand finds the back of your neck and pushes your head into his neck even more, letting you breath in his scent and relax into his hold. You feel all the tension leave your body as Taehyung runs his hand down your spine.

“Let us protect you, not because you can’t but because we want to.” Yoongi’s voice is clear and he tilt’s your chin up out of Jungkook’s neck to catch your eyes so you can see how serious he is. You know that they’ll protect you, they’ve already done that before, but there is something deadly in his eyes that make you think this time they will be even more protective. “It makes us feel useful.” Taehyung presses a kiss to your forehead as if he is trying to seal his promise with a kiss and it makes you smile because for the first time in years you aren’t scared of your father. You know that together you and the men around you, your boys, will be strong enough to take your father down. To get retribution for the pain he caused all of you.

Then you will finally be able to find some peace. You’ll be able the rebuild your life with the men that you love— the men that love you. And this time you’ll welcome their love and express your love for them in a way that you’ve never allowed yourself to before. And no one deserves to be loved more than these men.

It’ll be then that you’ll realize that there is so much strength in being vulnerable and showing the people that you love that you love them. Expressing emotions isn’t a sign of weakness, it is an incredible strength. And that you should never have to find that part of yourself weak ever again because if anyone sees that at a weakness or threatens to exploit it, your boys will take care of it. They will never let anything hurt you ever again, even your own doubts.

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