#BUT there is something to be said about . god im launching into something but i should have been asleep 30 minutes ago

[dykedivorce]

HACKS | 1x10 // 2x08

[tender-rosiey]

hii, hope im not bothering uu!!

my brain is obsessed with ur daddy gojo ficsss!! 🤭🤭 just a thought though. what if gojo brought his kid to work since reader couldnt hire a babysitter and had work to do!! 😱😱 kid can be a baby or like, 7-10?? or something? (idrc i jus need to feed my head with more dad gojo fics 😔😔, kid can be a girl or boy!!) hopee u have a nice dayyy!! ❤❤

missing – gojo satoru x f!reader

a/n: I wrote the kid being around 5 or 6 max, I think?? hope you like this as well! <3

you are standing at the door, checking over everything with your husband, "satoru, you got the toys?"

like the proud and confident dad he is, he replies with ease, "yep."

"the snacks?"

“of course,” he grins, pulling up the bag of snacks and toys to show you.

but you’re still stressing, "what about—“

"wifey, relax!” he starts rubbing your shoulders soothingly; “I got everything she needs. you have nothing to worry about,” he presses a loud kiss to your cheek.

"last time you said that, you teleported with d/n to the maldives."

he laughs loudly, before pulling you into a big hug, "aww, babe; I said I am sorry,” he is swaying the both of you, “you know I wanted you to be with us."

"that's not the point!"

"oh wowie, look at the time!” he looks at his fake watch and starts gently pushing you towards the car, “you’re gonna be late sweetheart."

"oh god!" you gasp, quickly giving satoru his goodbye kiss, and running to your daughter to give her own goodbye peck on the cheek as well, “I will miss you; take care of dada, okay?”

“aren’t I the one who is supposed to do that taking care part?!”

“bye ‘toru; bye d/n! love you!”

“love you too!” they both reply in unison before looking each other in the eye. satoru grins at her, “do you want to see uncle nanami?”

“nanamin!” she squeals then runs to god knows where.

soon, they finally get to jujutsu tech.

it took longer than usual because the little missy ran off and decided to play hide and seek. in addition to that, since the madlives incident, you banned satoru from teleporting with d/n because it gets her really dizzy and she starts puking.

so like the common people, he takes a car and has to wait till they arrive there. he wants to grumble, but, at least, his princess is there to play with him and make conversations.

they are finally in class when nobara coos, crouching down in front of d/n, “oh, you’re so cute!”

the little girl grins, “thank you!”

“also, I love your dress!”

“oh; thank you!” d/n gasps and starts twirling around, “mommy picked it for me! It’s so pretty, right?” nobara nods eagerly at her and it makes d/n giggle.

d/n pauses for a moment, a pout on her face and eyes get teary, and looks at satoru, “mommy…”

satoru pats her head, “we will see her soon; don’t worry.”

“wow; I am surprised you’re acting like a proper dad,” megumi comments, waving at d/n who grins back at him.

swiftly, yuuji defends his teacher’s pride, “hey! sensei is a great dad!”

d/n starts swinging her arms around and running in place like she is preparing for something. soon. it is revealed what she is waiting for. the door opens and she launches herself at the new guest, “nanamin!”

nanami effortlessly catches her and secures his hold on her, “d/n, that was dangerous; what if you got hurt?”

she looks down with yet another pout, “I know…’am sorry. just missed you.”

nanami sighs before patting her head, “it’s alright,” a tiny smile creeps up, “are you having fun so far?”

she nods happily and starts rambling about how cool nobara is or how much fun yuuji is to be around. meanwhile, satoru is standing in a corner with his arms crossed and grumbling, “that’s my daughter, you know.”

“imagine losing your daughter’s affection to someone else,” megumi pops up from behind satoru.

he retorts with no hesitation, “imagine not having a father.”

satoru looks petrified at megumi who is so very offended. satoru starts mini-panicking, “wait—megumi, I was kidding!”

“divine dogs.”

satoru shrieks and d/n squeals, pointing at him, “minmin, daddy’s playing with ‘gumi’s dogs!”

nanami averts his attention to gojo playing (read: being attacked). he nods slowly at the suffering man, “he is having so much fun; isn’t he?”

 “yay!” she throws her arms in the air.

nobara snaps a picture of d/n, “she’s adorable!”

yuuji sobs beside her, “I know right?!”

that was at the beginning of the day, but, right now, satoru has to attend a meeting for some reason with the higher-ups, including yaga. though, it hardly counts as a proper one considering that satoru laid out d/n toys so she can play with him.

“daddy, you’re not supposed to give him the green shirt; he needs the blue one.”

satoru quickly obeys, “yes ma’am,” and he changes the doll into his fabulous blue outfit. d/n giggles and holds his face to kiss his cheek.

one of the higher-ups clears his throat, “refrain from such disrespectful behavior during the meeting, gojo.”

satoru smiles humorlessly at the elder, “last time I checked, my daughter’s happiness is a lot more important than the nonsense you spout every single time.”

d/n carefully makes her way down the table and pulls on satoru’s pants, “daddy, toilet, please.”

“this was a fun meeting!” he beams, collecting d/n’s toys in her bag, “I have more urgent matters to attend to so adieu!” he mock bows, before bending to pick his daughter up, “let’s go princess.”

the door closes after satoru and d/n leave, and everyone looks at yaga. he takes a deep breath, “listen, that's his daughter. asking him not to pamper her is like asking a cat to let go of her kittens. you will get bit.”

time passes and satoru is chilling with d/n in the common room. she is laying on his lap and curled around herself. she groggily looks up to him, “when are we going to see mommy?”

he starts stroking her hair, “soon; I promise,” he takes out a candid picture he took of you and hands it to her, “how about you take this until we go back home and see mommy?”

she nods slowly and hugs the photo close. satoru smiles softly and presses a kiss to her forehead. not much after, d/n falls asleep with your photo secure in her hold.

it makes satoru chuckle. it reminds him of how he can never sleep without you either.

that’s why when he goes on mission, he scrolls endlessly through your photos until sleep takes over him or he listens to any voice message you sent. it helps him with the dilemma of missing you, and he is glad it helps his daughter the same way.

taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @sonder-paradise @jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @starlostlaiba @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @dazaisbloodybandages @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @the-midnightskies@pianopuppygirl @gojosblackqueen @kryscent @kunikida-simp @whoami-72 @mx-0-child @fiona782 @kisakitwister @imjustasimpxd @psychopotatomeme @dreamcastgirl99 @watyousayin @doobiebochana @laylasbunbunny @hojicha-expresso @4sat0ruu @nineooooo @chuuyasboots @alekssashka7 @rieejjyubi02 @satoryaa @nothisispatrick300 @fallencrescentmoon @etheviese @ho34gojo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @the-weeping-author @stray-npc @libbyistired @anon1412 @anakalana @maehemthemisfit @satorustar @b4nka1

copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[bbyjackie]

𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈'𝐒 𝐆𝐅 — ♡

one piece social media + dating feat: sanji

》 almost everyone wanted sanji's ver

♡ liked by sogekingg.usopp, FRAAANKY and 3.9k others

_ynln: hard launch

tagged: blackleg.sanji

theroronoa.zoro: what is he pondering so hard about 💀💀 (liked by nicorobin)

↳ blackleg.sanji: i was staring at a polaroid of the most beautiful, fantastic, gorgeous, jaw-dropping, mind consuming, pretty, lovely, enchanting, heart-throbbing, charming, attractive, cute, captivating, bewitching, stunning, irresistible, elegant, heavenly.. see more

↳ theroronoa.zoro: oh my god forget i asked

sogekingg.usopp: wdym your relo has BEEN hard launched since like four months ago 🤨🤨

↳ _ynln: sad 💔💔 i wanted to soft launch it but that was never possible

↳ theroronoa.zoro: i was trying to sleep and all i heard was screaming

↳ lovenami: real, if i was sanji i would be shocked too if i pulled yn ☝️

↳ blackleg.sanji: @theroronoa.zoro I HAD TO ANNOUNCE TO THE WORLD THAT MY DEAR YN SAID YES 💞💘💝💗

↳ sogekingg.usopp: y’all got NO faith in sanji 😭😭

p1rateking_luffy: what's hard launch?

♡ liked by theroronoa.zoro, ilovecottoncandychopper and 5.3k others

_ynln: he made me dinner, i might just cuff him rn 😪🤞

tagged: blackleg.sanji

p1rateking_luffy: OOOO IM COMING TO THE KITCHEN RIGHT NOW 😄😄

↳ blackleg.sanji: don't even try, i locked the door

↳ p1rateking_luffy: LET ME IN!!1!1!!1

↳ theroronoa.zoro: LUFFY STOP BANGING ON THE DOOR I CAN HEAR YOU FROM THE GYM

↳ p1rateking_luffy: LET ME INNNN PLEASEEEEE

↳ _ynln: luffy omg wait im making you a plate 😭

↳ p1rateking_luffy: OOO THANKS YN

↳ p1rateking_luffy: btw whats a hard launch

_ynln: @blackleg.sanji you actually look so fine in this photo i might just have to delete it 😮‍💨😮‍💨🫵

↳ blackleg.sanji: ANYTHING YOU WANT MY LOVE 😍😍😍

blackleg.sanji: DO IT. I WOULD GLADLY MARRY YOU MY LOVE. IF THAT MEANS THAT I GET TO BE WITH YOU EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY I WILL GET ON MY KNEES RIGHT NOW. I WILL COOK FOR YOU FOR EVERY MEAL AND BUY YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT BEAUTIFUL GIRL 🧎🏼‍♂️🧎🏼‍♂️❣️❤️‍🔥💓💘💗💞💝💕

↳ _ynln: ok 😭

♡ liked by nicorobin, p1rateking_luffy and 13 others

priv.ynn: usopp is a real one for taking these photos ☝️☝️

tagged: blackleg.sanji

sogekingg.usopp: I AM THE CERTIFIED BEST WINGMAN 💪💪

blackleg.sanji: I WILL KEEP THESE PHOTOS IN MY WALLET AND PUT THEM NEXT TO MY PILLOW SO THAT WHEN I WAKE UP I AM REMINDED THAT I HAVE BEEN BLESSED I LOVE YOU MY YN 🥰🥰😘😚🤩

↳ theroronoa.zoro: yn blink twice if you need help

↳ lovenami: ngl yeah that was a bit concerning 😭😭 (liked by nicorobin, sogekingg.usopp)

↳ priv.ynn: EVIL AHHAHA

p1rateking_luffy: yn what's hard launch?

CAPTAIN.KIIIID: i hate happy people

ilovecottoncandychopper: i love that you guys love eachother ❣️

↳ nicorobin: agreed

↳ priv.ynn: AWW YOU GUYS <333

♡ liked by _ynln, S0U1K1NGBR00K and 7.4k others

lovenami: robin w us in spirit </3

tagged: _ynln

S0U1K1NGBR00K: May I see both your panties? 🤲

↳ lovenami: words cannot explain how much i DONT want that (liked by _ynln)

↳ blackleg.sanji: NO ONE DESERVES TO SEE SOMETHING SO INTIMATE OF YN'S OR NAMI'S I WILL FIGHT YOU 🤺🤺‼️

sogekingg.usopp: YOU GUYS SAID WE'D GO SEE BARBIE TOGETHER WTF ?!?

↳ _ynln: WE LITERALLY INVITED YOU BUT YOU WERE TOO BUSY MAKING FUNNY FACES WITH LUFFY 🤨🤨

↳ sogekingg.usopp: YOU SHOULDVE SLAPPED ME

↳ p1rateking_luffy: WAIT I WANTED TO SEE BARBIE TOO

↳ p1rateking_luffy: anyway what's hard launch?

↳ lovenami: luffy you can barely concentrate on a five minute video, we aren't taking you to the theatre for two hours 💀💀

↳ _ynln: yeah luf, love u but you're gonna be bouncing off walls by the 20 minute mark 😔😔

nicorobin: so pretty! (liked by _ynln, lovenami, blackleg.sanji)

↳ _ynln: MISSED U SM ROBIN 💔

↳ blackleg.sanji: I AGREE MY YN LOOKS SO GORGEOUS SHE RIVALS EVEN GODDESSES, I LOVE HER SM I WOULD FLOP OVER A PUDDLE BECAUSE DIRT DOES NOT EVEN DESERVE TO BE WITHIN HER VICINITY ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥💗💘‼️💝💕💞❣️💘🥰😍😘😚😮‍💨😍☝️🫵

↳ FRAAANKY: sanji im worried you're one more comment away from a restraining order

blackleg.sanji 2h

[blackleg.sanji] _ynln replied to your story: omg sanji stop im so in love with you 😔💞

[love-belle]

well, i'm still in love with you !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their fall-in-love-again era is them soft launching each other while driving their friends wild.

or

for when you're still in love with them and will be for forever. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader

prequel - saw ur mom at the grocery store ·˚ ༘

warnings - language. suggestive jokes (???)

author's note - im so SORRY for not updating life is CRAZY rn like ???? so much has happened like im in LOVE im DONE with SCHOOL i have EXAMS SJSHSJSJKSKS im so sorry i hope u like this i love u all <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 1,725,819 others

yourusername he's in my head so much i might as well just give him some

11,628 comments

username HOLD UP

username im shaking in my big girl boots rn what the Fuck

username y/n ?????

username SCREECHING

username roman empire or roman empire

username IM DYING OH MY GOD

landonorris just because you can type something doesn't mean you SHOULD

-> yourusername shut up u literally sprouted like an unwanted weed and not even the good kind

-> yourusername i am sorry that was mean

-> landonorris 😕

-> username someone keep these two away from each other before y/n makes lando cry 😭

username live love laugh y/n y/l/n

username i need cameras recording their whole vacation !!!!!!!!!

username this whole holiday will be so much more entertaining than 90% of all the tv shows out there 😭😭

username lord i pray that this is about charles

maxverstappen1 you didn't hear it from me but he's giggling

-> yourusername tell him to stop giggling and help me chase those seagulls away

-> landonorris LEAVE MY SEAGULLS ALONE

-> yourusername THEY ATE MY SANDWICH

username rip y/n's hater girl era u will be missed 😞☝️

username i know charles is thoroughly enjoying this like

username i will get over a lot of things in life but i will never get over lando and max joining the y/l/n-leclerc vacation simply because they do not trust charles to do the sensible thing

-> yourusername actually they're all dumb

-> maxverstappen1 excuse you

-> yourusername u called grey "dark white"

-> maxverstappen1 I PAID TO KEEP QUIET

-> yourusername blocking out the haters 🫸🙄🫷

username forever entertained by this group they never disappoint

username need me a max and lando to get me a bf or whatever 🙄🙄🙄

username waiting for charles to come here and say some stupid shit before going on with my day !!!!

charles_leclerc i bet u think about me

-> yourusername nah bc no way ferrari can make u THIS delusional what's the cause

-> yourusername i am sorry i was told that i cannot say shit about ferrari clown private limited whatever corporation

-> username please never change

charles_leclerc i will make u pasta !!!!!!!!

-> yourusername no thank u i saw what happened to arthur

-> charles_leclerc THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT THE PASTA WAS NOT GOOD

-> yourusername skill issue

charles_leclerc where r u

-> yourusername why r u typing like that

-> charles_leclerc lando said it's cool

-> yourusername lando thinks birds don't have feet don't believe him

-> landonorris why am i catching strays

username WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT CHARLES LIED TO GET MAX AND LANDO ON VACATION 😭😭

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, landonorris and 2,167,926 others

charles_leclerc we'd still worship this love

12,628 comments

username NAH WHO IS THIS MAN

username OH ??????

username false god lyrics imma die 🤣🤣🤣

username y/n effect is so real

username PLEASE NOT CHARLES SOFT LAUNCHING HIS EX 😭😭😭

-> username y'all put some respect on my girl's name 😭

-> yourusername i am no one's ex i will sue u for defamation

-> charles_leclerc for legal reasons she's JOKING

-> yourusername how do U know that tf

-> username i missed this

username hshshdjssjdjsjjsajjn;;;;;;;;bwywuuaj;...

username crying this is everything i've prayed for

username no one's mentioning the fact that charles wasn't even supposed to go on the vacation 😭😭😭

-> landonorris he booked his tickets and acted like it was a mistake

-> charles_leclerc you're a mistake

-> username and THAT'S how i know y/n and charles are back together 🤞🤞🤞

username i need a documentary on this vacation u don't GET it

username max and lando we trust u

maxverstappen1 you just pushed your love in water

-> charles_leclerc she told me i looked like tweety from looney toons

-> maxverstappen1 well

username crying i love every second of this

username i need to study this man's brain under a microscope like

-> username his thought process is just so UNIQUE

username i need them to confirm their relationship so i can breathe a sigh of relief thank u

username need me a man who posts like this

yourusername told u taylor swift songs slap

-> charles_leclerc highkey

yourusername i'm the most hilarious person ever idk why ur mad

-> charles_leclerc you called me tweety

-> yourusername hilarious

-> charles_leclerc my lover's got humour

-> yourusername OMGGGGG

yourusername we might just get away with this

-> charles_leclerc i told you, if you commit murder i will NOT be an accomplice

-> yourusername those are lyrics but fuck u too i guess

username i prayed for times like this 🤞🤞

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

charles_leclerc added to their instagram stories

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, carmenmmundt and 1,972,628 others

yourusername well i'm still in love with u 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 (❤️)

tagged charles_leclerc

comments are disabled for this post

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 2,126,891 others

charles_leclerc 2 out of 262819 photos where she stole my phone and the one (1) photo with me in it like okaaaaaaaaaay (🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️)

tagged yourusername

12,728 comments

username NAHHH WHO TAUGHT HIM HOW TO TYPE LIKE THAT

username PLEASE OMG

username andddddddd we're 🔙 to having charles have a breakdown every single time y/n (HIS GIRLFRIEND) interacts with him

username god heard my prayers

username why do i have a feeling lando and max went EXTREME

-> yourusername if u call pushing us both off the yacht and not letting us back on until we said "hiiiiii" civilly to each other extreme, then yes. they were EXTREME.

-> charles_leclerc still mad about it. i said "hiiiii 😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘" and you said "hi 😐😐😐😐."

-> yourusername sorry i was too busy finding ways to poison u then ❤️❤️❤️ im good and better now ❤️❤️❤️ (police and officials LOOK AWAY)

-> username netflix needs to leave dts and document THIS

username someone should write a book on this vacation and it should be max ☝️☝️☝️

username WAR IS OVERRRRR

username they're BACK god bless

username the way i KNOW charles is thanking max and lando on his knees like homeboy would be stuck without them fr

-> danielricciardo excuse you i was the mastermind

-> landonorris you literally did nothing except sit on ft for hours and yell at us.

-> danielricciardo tell that to all those thank you texts (money) charles sent me

-> landonorris YOU TOLD ME NO ONE WILL BE GETTING PAID charles_leclerc

-> charles_leclerc i sent him $1 because heidi asked me to

-> heidiberger_ he threatened to fly out to italy i did everyone a favour

username the y/n effect is coming back with full throttle like yeaaaaaaaaah

username i need a trilogy on this vacation like i need EVERYTHING

username the way i KNOW both of their families just rejoiced like they were going through it 😭😭😭

username everyday i wake up and thank the lord and heavens for daniel ricciardo, max verstappen and lando norris

yourusername i look so good wtfff

-> charles_leclerc yes you do 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

yourusername bébé ( baby )

-> charles_leclerc mon ange ( my angel )

yourusername soulmates 4 sure

-> charles_leclerc 👍

-> username lord i am not your strongest soldier

-> username why is he like this 😭😭😭

yourusername lowk missed taking 26271727 selfies on ur phone

-> charles_leclerc missed seeing your pretty face every time i opened my gallery 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

-> username y/n never leave him again please

-> username my man's TRAUMATISED

[81folklore]

heaven - OP81 - part 2

pairings: oscar piastri x private!secret!reader (fc: gracie abrams)

summary: a very sweet softlaunch ends pretty quickly

authors notes: first of all a huge thank you to everyone who has liked, reblogged and taken the time to read my works it means so much to me and im so so grateful!! next, this is something i made at 1am so please bear with me😭. i am working on the lando and charles stories i PROMISE but i want them to be special and i currently have zero thoughts about where to take them so it might be a while🫣 also i almost finished this when tumblr DELETED IT?? i want to cry😁 ALSO i started this at like 1am and i cant be asked to do tweets rn so insta smau it is

part 1 part 3 masterlist

yourusername

liked by yourfriend2, user7 and 583 others

ahahah i love the beach and my friends

view comments

yourfriend2: dont be fooled she called me crying after the fourth photo bcs she lost 5 games of uno in a row

yourusername: i called you in confidence and this is how you repay me??

user6: its fine we know how emotional uno can get😁

yourusername: ??

user7: im so single hahahahhaa (im dying inside)

user10: is it confirmed that this is oscar?

user9: im not being funny but oscar doesnt even follow her so i think yous are just reaching

user10: …they have the same dog??

yourfriend6: might aswell post his face at this point

yourusername: leave me aloneeee im having fun!!

oscarpiastri

liked by clementnovalak, paularon_ and 93,357 others

second part of the season incoming 😁👊 (after a very competitive round of uno)

view comments

user7: ready to see you up on the podium🧡

user10: uno you say?

user3: right could they be more obvious😭

yourusername: its race week babyyy

*liked by oscarpiastri*

user17: literally what is happening why are all of the grid softlaunching😭

user8: and why does it always end in the hardest of launches

yourusername and oscarpiastri added to their stories

yourfriend2: 😭😭

yourusername: i am sick and tired i just want to POST him but softlaunches are so fun😔

yourfriend2: its really fun when everyone already knows?

yourusername: no but we are in too deep now☹️

user6: god you guys are insufferable

user23: JUST POST THE CUTE COUPLE PHOTOS ALREADY

user23: i lied please dont im so single it hurts

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 6,572 others

the world through my eyes☀️

view comments

oscarpiastri: i love you sososo much

oscarpiastri: my favorite person in the entire world

yourusername: ur literally my sunshine🫶

yourfriend1: god you make me SICK

yourusername: ..okay😁 oscarpiastri i love youuu🤭

landonorris: i hate people in love (you guys are very cute)

user10: THE NOTE OH

user18: THE HARDEST OF LAUNCHES HAPPENED

user7: he is her world oh my lord

user63: and the fact that hes her sunshine too😭😭

user63: literally crying myself to sleep

oscarpiastri

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 143,572 others

my happiness

view comments

yourusername: teheehee thats me🤭

yourusername: i LOVE YOUUU

yourusername: i didnt know you took photos of me like this☹️

oscarpiastri: of course your my favorite🧡

yourusername: oh could you get any cuter🫠

yourfriend4: thought you should know yn is currently jumping up and down and giggling while looking at this

user23: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO POST THESE?? I CANT HANDLE THIS??

user8: god really saw me sad and said ‘heres the happiest and best couple, wallow more’

user16: YOU GUYS ARE LITERALLY THE CUTEST?? THE NOTES?? THE POSTS??

user1: i cant stand people in love (i want to cry and drown in my tears)

yourusername: oh my god im so obsessed with you

oscarpiastri: i loooove youuu

oscarpiastri added to their story

yourusername: ahhhhh im so☹️

yourusername: osc☹️☹️ur literally the cutest thing to exist

yourusername: my boys🫶🫶

yoursusername: im so in love with you sunshine☀️

oscarpiastri: love you, thank you for showing me happiness🤍

[caesium-55]

—everything is orange. [ ii ]

pairing: lando norris x kpop idol! reader

summary: a racecar driver who needed a fake girlfriend to dispel rumors and a kpop idol who needed publicity for her song. somewhere in between orange cars and orange sunsets, stands something they're afraid of naming.

warning/s: graphic description of blood and gore, body insecurity, lando might be a lil ooc

masterlist.

God bless Jinnie Jo and her overly prepared self because you thought you’d die when you got attacked by the damn shellfish allergy in the car on the way to the hotel. It's fortunate that Jinnie happens to carry around your allergy meds. You dry-swallow the tablets without hesitation, uttering your thanks to Jinnie.

“Song Dan-ssi gave me a list of your allergy meds before we left,” Jinnie tells you. Warmth floods your chest. Manager-nim may be in another country but he never fails to take care of you. You're definitely going to buy something for Manager-nim when you return to Seoul. A jacket perhaps?

The first thing you do the moment you enter your hotel room is kick your boots off, take a warm shower, and reunite with the love of your life—the bed. The mattress swallows you whole and you let out a content sigh as you allow your body to sink in it. Not even ten minutes later, you grab your bag, which you have haphazardly thrown on the bed, take out your phone, and open the X app. You type Lando’s name in the search box.

username1: i am disgusted by the people who still support lando norris like yall really support a man who got a girl pregnant and refusing to take responsibility? i just know mclaren is lying when they said he's not the father

username2: justice for the girl that lando norris got pregnant! he should be kicked out of mclaren!

username3: that girl lucky bc her baby daddy is THE lando norris. she should tell us how he fucks in great detail

You cringe. Your fingers tap the three buttons at the upper right corner and without hesitation, pressing report. You continue to scroll down the tweets, reading them one by one as the clock ticks.

username4: what lie will mclaren tell again to protect little lando norris?

Your phone pings. A notification bar appears on the upper portion of your phone screen. You have received a message. You stop reading the tweet and open your messages app.

unknown number: hey

unknown number: this is lando

unknown number: your boyfriend?

unknown number: the fake one

You immediately save his number in your contacts. You name him Lando Norris.

you: hey there

you: do i just call you lando or

lando: you can call me baby

You snigger at his flirting attempt. Ten points for trying, Lando Norris.

you: okay baby

lando: 😳

lando: okay

lando: we agreed on hard launching each other in socmed right?

you: yah

lando: i kinda don't have a picture of you?

lando: pr told me to ask you if you can send me one

lando: i’ll send you one too

you: i have an idea

you: put me on your story

lando: yeah im planning to do exactly that

lando: have you been listening to what we talked about earlier in the meeting?

you: then delete it after a few mins

lando: wait why

you: make it look like you did it on accident

Your first mistake in your first PR relationship with another idol is that you immediately hard-launched each other on Instagram after Dispatch released his pictures kissing a guy in a bar. People got skeptical and most of them called out your relationship as a PR stunt. They called you a cover up, which you were, but they weren't supposed to know that.

You're not going to make the same mistake twice.

lando: and this will work?

you: let's not shake the confidence i have

lando: 😂

you: people are already expecting mclaren to set a pr stunt so you can gain the public’s hearts back

you: u have to make yourself look like you never needed a pr stunt in the first place, that you’re not trying to win the public back

you: people will catch up if you suddenly post that you have a girlfriend in the middle of your hot issue

you: netizens are quickwitted theyre not as dumb as most of us think

You hope you're explaining it well. You're trying to make your point as clear as possible but it's hard. You forgot the other English words you’ve learned.

lando: okay i get ur point

lando: i’ll do what u want

lando: someone has to tell pr what u planned though

lando: it's not going to be me

Fuck the PR. You're not going to tell them and let them have a field day tomorrow. That's what they get for expecting you to sign that stupid first contract they made.

You open your camera app and take a quick selfie.

No. Your nose looks too big at that angle.

Again.

Now, your forehead looks like an airport.

Again.

Your teeth are showing. The coffee stains are visible.

Again.

Again.

Again.

you: *sent a photo*

lando: i

lando: help me with the caption? my braincells flew off

you: idk not good at captions

you: just say hello loml or smth

This is the story you want to tell:

You met Lando a year after you departed from ORACLE in Australia.

You have a mutual friend—named Tori Allen—who introduced you to one another. Tori Allen does not exist. She's just the fictional side character of your love story.

You started out as friends. Lando is freshly out from a breakup and you’re just trying to live a quiet life after your fall from grace.

You talked for months because of your mutual interest in cars. Eventually, you started going on casual dates.

You asked Lando to keep it secret. He said yes in respect to you. HAN Entertainment already released a press statement regarding your mental health status after the 2021 incident so the public would assume that this was the reason why.

The relationship turned serious three months before Lando’s scandal.

Lando never got the girl pregnant. He never touched that girl. He was loyal to you.

Jinnie almost breaks down the door the next morning. You open it before she can do so. She angrily stomps inside your room and you close the door behind her. Her face is red, her expression taut.

“It's seven,” your eyebrows crease together. You make a quick glance at the phone in your hand. 7:22, the clock in your lockscreen projects. “You told me we are supposed to meet at twelve.”

“McLaren PR called me up,” Jinnie informs you. You’re beginning to get an idea where this conversation is going. “You didn't do what we agreed on.”

“And what did we agree on?” you cross your arms over your chest. You flutter your eyelashes innocently at her.

“That you’re going to choose photos to post on each of your accounts and let PR handle the captions. Norris posted something immediately without PR checking it and deleted it!”

“Did he tell you that it was my idea?”

“No, but I know that it was and it turns out I’m right. You just confirmed it.”

“Did it work?” you question.

“I can't with you!” she throws her hands up in the air, frustrated. “We are supposed to follow orders!”

“No,” you say. “You are supposed to follow orders. That's what Yoon PD-nim told you. He told me to do what I believed was best.”

You open X. Lando’s name is at the top of the trending list. You press his name and read through the tweets that appeared.

username5: LANDO NORRIS WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOR

username6: EVERYONE HERE ARE THE RECEIPTS *screenshot*

username7: is this what you call the freudian slip lol

username8: I AM NOT CRAZY GUYS LANDO ACCIDENTALLY STORIED HIS GF IN HIS PUBLIC ACC

username9: he deleted it so quick too 😭 im sure the man panicked

username10: HE CHEATED ON HIS GF AND GOT A GIRL PREGNANT??!?

username11: for all we know he didn't even bang that girl 🤷 his girlfriend’s pretty hot he’s definitely not cheating on her

username10: men cheat on their pretty wives and girlfriends all the time

username12: not lando norris that man’s in love LOVE can u see his caption

username13: the caption??? lando’s pretty smooth with his words

username14: he’s taking smooth operator lessons from carlos

username15: im crazy but what if this is just a pr stunt 🤔

username16: girl he won't delete the story in a panic if it's a pr stunt

username17: he was definitely going to post it in his priv and made a mistake 😭

username18: very lando of him

username17: he stronger than me bc if my girlfriend was that pretty, her face will be flooding my instagram

username19: ignore lando, his girl tho 😳

username20: he called her loml omgggg

username21: booo luisa’s prettier

username22: fok off and move on

username23: lando can you fight? meet me at the kfc parking lot and let's fight

username24: probably not but he can run you over with his car

username25: i swear ive seen that girl before i just cant pinpoint where

username26: IT'S [NAME] EX MEMBER OF ORACLE WE HAVENT SEEN HER SINCE 2021

username27: so he bagged a kpop girlie??? lando got game dayummm

username28: isn't [name] an illegal street racer? that's why she got kicked out of the group right?

username29: an f1 racer and a street racer couple 😳 omg what in booktok is this

username30: she's not a streetracer she only watched the street race

username28: she told you that herself?

username30: her company did

username31: THEY CANT BE DATING OMG LANDO YOU CAN DO BETTER SHE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE A WAG

username32: and u think ur better than her?

“It's working,” you state. You turn to Jinnie, raising your phone in the air and waving it. A smug smirk spreads to your lips. “It's working.”

Nobody is doubting the relationship like the time with Minhyung. This is a good start. Now, onto the next part.

“So are we really going to keep having lunch dates until your race?” you poke the shrimp on the plate with your fork. You're having pasta again. In the same place, too. It sucks but you swallow the food and smile as if you’re enjoying the meal.

For today's outfit, Jinnie chose a Valentino Garavani black midi dress paired with Jimmy Choo Antia leather sandals. Lando matched your outfit with a black silk button up and off-white pants. You’re both playing the “looking like a couple” card well.

“I believe so,” Lando says. You mentally count the days of the calendar in your head. The FP1 is scheduled to begin in two days. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask….”

“Hm?”

“The team didn't scold you a lot, did they?”

“They didn’t,” you give him a tight smile. Did he worry? For you? That's very sweet of him. “Why would they? My plan went great.”

Lando nods, “It did. You’re good at this.”

You smile at his compliment, shrugging a shoulder. I’m supposed to be good at this. I have no other choice.

“Let's show them our story,” you say. “Show, not tell. People are more inclined to believe actions rather than words. Show them the story we want them to know and we don't answer their questions early so we can keep the attention and the curiosity on us. Once the timing is right, you answer their questions, one by one. This is risky because if we don't act right, we’re done….”

You set the fork down and finally stop terrorizing the poor shrimp. It's completely obliterated now.

“But I believe we can act right,” honesty bleeds through your words. “You're lovable and you already act like a sweet boyfriend without trying.”

Lando purses his lips and averts his gaze. You see pink dusting his cheeks.

“I try.”

“Nice try,” your words come out dry. You give him a thumbs-up. “Also, I’m full.”

“You only ate half your plate,” Lando points out.

“The portion is too big. I’m a light eater.”

HAN Entertainment is partly to blame for that. You got accustomed to their extreme diets and small meal portions that you cannot even eat more than a small bowl of rice.

“Do you not like the food?” he asks, concerned.

You don’t answer the question. Instead, you lace your fingers together and rest your chin on them, leaning slightly forward.

“I have another plan. Wanna hear it?”

You still don't like having attention to yourself. The feeling of having eyes watching your every move, waiting for you to make a mistake still terrifies you. But attention, the right kind especially, is a weapon. You need a weapon to fight this war. A war to build your career again.

“Keep them on their toes,” the instructor of your PR training class once said. “Give them what they want piece by piece, just enough to keep them wanting more, but never give them everything.”

Until now, you still abide by her teachings. God bless Kim Gaon-ssi and her big brain, wherever she is now. She resigned from HAN entertainment a year ago.

It's been a few days since Lando pulled that stunt in his Instagram story and yet, the attention you're receiving from the fans is not simmering down. You didn't expect anyone to be this involved or curious about a driver's love life but here everyone was.

You wake up at seven and then proceed to spend an hour on your phone while lying in bed to push all the sleepiness away from your system. You leave your bed at nine, change out of your sleeping wear, perform a whole morning ritual inside the bathroom, and by eleven, you send Jinnie a message to get brunch and invite her to eat together inside the privacy of your hotel room. She arrives after fifteen minutes with hotel service food. You eat until twelve thirty and after eating, you begin to get ready.

The free practice session is at 5:30 PM. You can afford a bit more time to get ready so you shower again. It took you nearly two hours. In the meantime, Jinnie prepares your clothes.

You mentally thank the heavens when you see trousers neatly folded on your bed. If Jinnie forces you to wear dresses again, you’re going to lose it. You're conscious of how big your thighs look. You don't even have a thigh gap. Big thighs, small ankles, and muscular calves. They're just a few of your numerous bodily insecurities.

Jinnie pairs the Moon Choi black back pocket trousers with a Dior Toile de Jouy Sauvage silk top. For the shoes, she chooses a pair of white Fila chunky sneakers. She helps you apply your makeup and fix your hair. To finish the look, you grab your black cross body bag, smart watch, sunglasses, and a black ball cap.

Jinnie snatches the ball cap from your hands and replaces it with a McLaren ball cap. A tacky orange with the number four. You raise your brow at her. She gives you a pointed look, a look that says: don’t even try to protest. You sigh, resigned, and pull it onto your head.

She scans your appearance, dragging her coal eyes from the top of your head to your toes. She huffs, satisfied.

“You look perfect.”

Perfect is the goal.

Jinnie drives you to the race venue. She drops you off at the parking lot. She's not happy with it. Jinnie wanted to come. You told her no. You can handle this little act alone. You don’t see an ex-idol with a manager, do you?

The moment you exit the car, you slip on your mask. Figuratively and literally. You tip your ball cap upwards to scan your surroundings, searching for the way in. You carry your phone in your right hand and your paddock pass in the left. Lando gave it to you during dinner yesterday.

A racing event is crowded with people. That's a given. Perhaps not as crowded as a concert but still crowded nonetheless. A stage will not separate you from the people nor a barricade. Unfortunately. You have no bodyguard, no manager, no HAN Entertainment staff.

You're not here as ORACLE’s [Name] but as Lando Norris’ girlfriend.

Your feet lead you to a path where there are less people. You message Lando that you’ve arrived. He replies in a matter of seconds.

lando: ill come and get you

lando: wait for me

You remove your cap, fix your hair, before pulling the cap on. You spot a man with a Nikon DSLR standing a good distance. He is wearing a cord around his neck. The word MEDIA is printed in bold white letters. Your lips curl a little underneath your face mask.

It is show time.

During your trainee years, acting classes are mandatory. You know the basics. You're confident that you're good at acting. If you weren't, the company wouldn't have pushed you to act in two dramas as a side character during your rookie years. You received a reward for your performances, too.

To look lost, you have to keep glancing around you as if you’re contemplating which way to go. You have to look unsure of your actions. Hesitant. You have to constantly look at your phone as if you’re reading directions in it or texting someone to tell you where you should be going. You have to scratch your nape a few times to express nervousness. You're in a place you don’t know, it’s natural to be nervous.

Someone is bound to approach you and help you. When they do, you remove the cap but not the mask and then hope they know who you are. When they don't, well…. that's a problem for future you. You haven't thought that far.

“Hi, excuse me, do you need help?”

You perk up. Orange fills your view. A group of four girls have approached you and they all wear twinning McLaren merch. You can see that three of them sport the number four in their shirts, Lando’s race number. You involuntarily swallow.

There was a case once where a rookie actress got beaten up by her idol boyfriend’s fans promptly after the release of their dating news. Fans can be so jealous to the point of violence. It's a toxic fan culture. That's why so many Kpop idols resort to keeping their relationships private and secret. You hope you won’t get beaten up.

But also, given that they’re McLaren and Lando fans, there is a high possibility that they’ll recognize you. Which is exactly what you wanted. So you push that stupid fear aside and keep the show going.

“Hi, uh,” you remove your cap and lower your face mask until it's bunched up below your nose. “I’m kind of…lost? Do you know the way to the, uh…”

You forget what it's called. McLaren garage? You don't remember the exact word Lando used. You're still not confident that you know the difference between a paddock, a garage, and a livery.

“Wait, I know you!”

You purposely widen your eyes.

“You’re Lando’s girlfriend!”

You smile sheepishly, scratching your cheek with your finger.

The girls break out into loud and high-pitched squeals. Their voices are so shrill that you cannot help but wince. You motion for them to quiet down. Inwardly, you want them to keep being loud. Loud enough to warrant the attention of the photographer, your target.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, we absolutely have to take a selfie!”

You barely understand her rapid spitfire of words until she takes out her phone. Panic instantly swells within you.

This is not the plan. You only wanted one person to take the necessary picture. Not this.

You hastily slap your hand over the lower half of your face. You stagger backwards and stumble against a sturdy wall. Your hands fly out to your sides as you feel yourself lose your balance. Two hands grip your shoulders and you hear a surprised woah! from behind you. You lift your head.

It's not a wall. It's Lando.

His beautiful, beautiful eyes gaze down at you. The colors look lighter under the sun. His thick brows are furrowed together, his forehead creasing.

Lando spins you around so you're face-to-face with his hard chest. You squint at the multiple logos printed on the long-sleeves he’s wearing. Is this what he wears when he races? He swiftly takes the McLaren ball cap off your hand and puts it on your head. His hand remains tenderly flat on your shoulder blade, the other lays on your cheek as if he's trying to cover your face. You tug your face mask up and rub your throat.

“Hi,” Lando greets the girls sweetly. This causes the eruption of another wave of high-pitched squeals. “I’m sorry but do you mind if we keep the cameras away? Our relationship isn't out and as much as possible, we’d like to keep it that way. Can we respect my girl’s privacy please?”

He sounds exactly like a male lead in a romance Kdrama. You know it's fake, that the both of you are playing roles, but his words and the way he delivers them so effortlessly makes you momentarily doubt if he's really acting. It causes a butterfly to flutter in your stomach and your pulse to steadily accelerate. His hands are large and warm and for a moment, it makes you wonder if this is what security feels like. If this is what it feels like to be loved.

Then, you get reminded that it is all an act.

How can actors not fall in love with their co-actors when acting can feel this real at times?

“Thank you,” you hear Lando say. You miss the previous parts of the conversation because of the thoughts that invaded your mind.

“You look so cute together, oh my god. I’m going to die,” the fangirl adds. Lando’s chest vibrates as he chuckles, the sound deep and warm.

“We need to go, sorry. Enjoy the race today.”

He taps his thumb against your shoulder blade and he starts walking, his hands not detaching themselves from your skin. You keep your head low as Lando guides you away. In your peripheral vision, you see the photographer’s camera pointed towards the two of you. A self-satisfied smirk plays on your lips.

“How did I do?” Lando asks the moment he removes his helmet. He is sporting a bright grin, so bright that you're sure it’s going to make the sun envious, as his fingers comb through his damp curly hair. A few stray strands are stuck on his sweaty forehead. You feel the urge to sweep them aside for him.

You search through your mental thesaurus for the synonyms of the word amazing and have chosen: “Impressive.”

Light beads of sweat trickle down his face and neck. A McLaren staff member comes and hands him a towel to wipe them off. Lando thanks her and she leaves. He thrusts the towel towards you. You blink in confusion.

“Will you do the honors?”

“Can't you do it yourself?”

“But you have to play the part of a sweet girlfriend, am I right or am I right?” You roll your eyes at his cheekiness, rising to a stand. You place the McLaren jacket in your hands on your chair. Lando handed it to you before he climbed into the car. You don't know the reason behind his action. Nevertheless, you held the jacket for him.

You take the towel from his hands, your fingers grazing with his. Lando’s smile threatens to split in half as he puts his hands behind his back, parts his legs a little, and then bends down so you won't have a difficult time wiping his sweat for him. You're not that much shorter than him and your height difference is perfectly reasonable and comfortable but you're still grateful that he's doing this for you.

You don't wipe his sweat. Instead, you pat them out. Patting is gentle on skin. The towel will simply absorb the sweat on his skin. Rubbing the skin can lead to skin irritation and inflammation. Lando’s eyes flutter close at your actions and you swear you see him leaning against your hand.

“You raced good today,” you praise him.

You have zero idea on what happened in the past hour. The cars went around in circles. Then, they time their laps. They’re not even racing each other. You thought they would.

In all honesty, you think the entire thing is a bore. The street races you went to when you were a teen were more fun. A minimum of three drivers gets injured every race and it's highly likely someone ends up dead, which is your messed-up definition of the word fun.

You’re more interested in the special guest who decided to grace the track with its great reptile presence. A dinosaur. Kidding, it's just a lizard. It looks like it was surveying the scene and strategizing a great dinosaur invasion.

Lando's chest swells, “Well, I have to impress my girl.”

He opens his eyes and they meet yours. They're twinkling with mirth.

“Color me impressed then.” Despite your words, your tone is unimpressed.

He smiles impossibly wider, now showing his full set of pearly white teeth. He bites his bottom lip. You stop patting his sweat and lower your hand to the side.

“You don't have any more races tonight?” you question. Lando straightens.

“Later at 9 PM.”

“That's quite late.”

“It is?” Lando’s head tilts to the side a little. “Do you sleep early?”

You hardly sleep at all. You have a hard time maintaining regular human sleeping and waking hours. Like the other half of the world population.

“That's not it,” you shake your head. “I kind of just expected that the next practice session would be tomorrow morning.”

“Singapore usually holds night races. Track temperatures are low and the organizers can broadcast the race during peak viewing hours in European time,” Lando explains. “And they hold two practice races a day because it only lasts an hour.”

“That makes sense.”

“Are you hungry?” Lando questions, smoothly redirecting the conversation to food.

“I could eat.” You're not particularly hungry. You're not full either.

“I know a good place that sells these amazing wraps.”

Wraps sound enticing. You can't remember the last time you've eaten one.

“Lead the way.”

You chew on your beef wrap slowly as your eyes focus on the screen of your phone. The voices of the sports announcers live broadcasting the ongoing race fill Lando’s driver room. After buying the wrap, he brought you to his driver room so you can enjoy the privacy as you ate. You appreciate the thoughtfulness. You don't think you can eat outside. So many people can see you.

username33: LOOK AT THESE PHOTOS I AM GOING FERAL

username34: HOLUP LANDO'S GIRL WAS IN THE PADDOCK??? ON THE DAY I DECIDED NOT TO GO?? EVJSNSVSISKS

username35: girlie was hiding 😭 she deliberately went through the back of the paddock so no one can see her going to the garage

username36: my friends and i met her today! she looks like she's lost and as fellow mclaren fans, we went to help her and she was so sweet omg and so so shy too. we tried to take a pic with her but lando arrived and told us to respect his girl’s space

username36: and i quote “do you mind if we keep the cameras away? our relationship isn't out and we’d like to keep it that way. can we respect my girl’s privacy please” WHEN I TELL YOU I MELTED ON THE SPOT

username37: girl he really said that???

username38: i’m her friend and yes he really said that 😭

username39: little lando norris is not so little anymore

username37: pls tell me you backed off immediately

username38: we did!! we kinda feel bad now that we discovered she's been battling anxiety since 2021 and that she doesn't like having photos of her taken

username40: NO BECAUSE THE WAY LANDO IS SO PROTECTIVE OF HER?? THE WAY HE SPUN HER AROUND AND PULLED HER TO HIS CHEST?? THE PROTECTIVE HAND ON HER BACK?? HIM COVERING HER FACE?? WE ALL KNOW [NAME] HASN'T BEEN IN THE PUBLIC EYE SINCE 2021 BC OF MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES AFTER HER SCANDAL AND LANDO REALLY TRIED TO PROTECT HER

username41: bae i think you forgot that he's also the reason why [name] is gaining attention again bc he accidentally storied her in his insta

username40: that's why i said tried bestie

username42: i cant believe im crying over this LANDO NORRIS U BETTER TREAT OUR GIRL [NAME] RIGHT

username43: im waiting for @hanentertainmentofficial to say smth

username44: girlie’s career flopped and now she's leeching off lando’s money smh 🙄

username45: bestie she never needed his money she’s already rich from being an idol

username44: correction ex kpop idol, her money’s probably already running out

username45: bestie she's still richer than you while you're 14 (your bio says your 14) and still living with your parents

username46: AND THAT'S VERY SLAY OF HER,, YOU CAN'T EVEN GET A RICH MAN TO LOOK AT YOU

username47: that girl who claimed that lando is her baby daddy is suspiciously quiet rn

You turn your phone off and toss it inside your cross body bag. A sigh flies past your lips as you lean against the back of the couch, setting your unfinished wrap down. Your eyes flutter close. They're beginning to sting. Too much reading.

Sleep latches its claws on you and you allow it to take you.

You stand in darkness, allowing the deafening silence to swallow you whole. Suddenly, a thousand eyes appear. Unblinking. Bloodshot. They're bulging out of their sockets. In unison, the eyeballs move and lock on your figure. Judging. Judging. Judging. Your body trembles at the weight of a thousand gazes. You can’t breathe. You can't speak.

Please stop looking at me.

Please.

I’m begging you.

Stop.

The eyes slowly became bigger and bigger. Then, they disappear. You let out a shaky exhale. You turn around and the world becomes a blinding white.

Cameras. Thousands. No, millions of them. The loud clicking noise fills your ears. Your hands stretch in front of you, trying to cover your face and your body from them. You can only squeeze your eyes shut.

Silence.

The scene changes.

You register the feeling of sand getting stuck in between your toes. Your eyes slowly flutter open. The overcast skyline and the rising tides, the telltale ingredients of a brewing storm over the horizon, can be spectated from the shore. You recognize this place. This was a place you swore you're never going to step foot again.

Jeju.

You hear your mother’s gentle voice whisper your name behind you, causing goosebumps rise on your skin and your entire body to stiffen. It's not the name you own now, but the name you were born with, the name she gave you, the name you lost when you moved to Seoul.

She calls your name again. Again. Again. And again. You ignore every single one.

She stops.

You slowly turn around and you see your mother standing there, a few steps away, barefoot like you and wearing a dress. You remember this dress. She wore it when she was pregnant with you. She keeps the photo in her wallet.

No Eun Ha looks as beautiful as she was in your childhood memories. You greatly resemble her. The eyes most especially. That's why looking at mirrors feels more like a punishment to you more than anything else.

The word “Eomma” rots inside your mouth.

Your Eomma smiles at you. It's empty, her smile. When she smiles, they never reach her eyes. That's the way it has always been. For a second, you consider apologizing.

Eomma, I’m sorry that you have to raise a child you didn’t want. I’m sorry for stealing the light in your eyes.

You don't grow the courage to say it out loud.

No Eun Ha remains smiling. You notice that the edges of her lips curl higher and higher until the smile begins to look unsettling and sinister. Then you see the skin on her cheek tear apart as her smile grows and grows. Blood drips down slowly to her neck and stains the top part of her dress. She opens her mouth into an inhumane size and you see a thousand razor-sharp teeth lining up inside it. Everything is a gory red.

You scream in absolute terror.

She says your name again, her voice this time is not as gentle as you remember.

You wake up screaming and in cold sweat. You fall from your bed and onto the floor on all fours and begin vomiting your guts out. Nothing comes up. Only saliva. You break into pathetic sobs on the floor. Terror is a familiar feeling but you will never ever get used to it.

You don't know how many hours have passed. The floor used to feel cool against your skin but now, it's never been warmer. You still don't possess the strength to leave the floor. Your body feels as if it's being anchored down giant stones.

You're exhausted. You’ve done nothing but you feel exhausted.

You want to run.

You want to run away from this pain and exhaustion.

You need a life where you're no longer exhausted.

Desperately.

A sudden shriek interrupts the silence that wraps the air. A woman's. You don't even flinch. You know it’s just Jinnie. She's the only one who has access to another keycard of your hotel room.

When Lando’s panicking face comes into view, you are shocked. So shocked that you involuntarily raise your arms and accidentally hit him below his jaw. He stumbles backwards, not expecting the blow. He let out a pained groan, hand clutching the area you hit. You quickly rise to your feet, a thousand apologies already on the tip of your tongue. This action, however, triggers a wave of vertigo. Your vision blackens temporarily, your knees giving out at your own weight. Reflexively, you grab hold of the nearest thing beside you, the mattress to soften your fall, before your shaking knees meet the floor.

“[Name]!” Lando’s voice is so loud, you flinch.

When your vision returns, his face is the first thing you see.

“Good morning,” your voice is flat and rough.

Lando hisses and his large hands cradle your cheeks. You're suddenly made aware of how large his hands are. They can cover your entire face with how big they are.

“You're pale,” his voice wobbles. “Shit.”

You want to pass out again. His hands feel so, so comfortable and so, so warm that you want to sleep with this feeling.

“Hey, hey, don't close your eyes. [Name]—” Lando hands move swiftly. One second he’s holding your face. The next second he’s lifting you up in his arms. “Jinnie, call an ambulance!”

The word “ambulance” causes you to wake up. Like really wake up.

Oh, shit.

You struggle in Lando’s arms, “Andwae! No ambulance!”

You pry yourself away from Lando, hopping down to the floor, but the man doesn't retract his hands completely. He still holds onto your forearms to support you as you try to stand.

“No. Just no. I’m fine.”

“[Name]!” Jinnie scolds. She's finally functioning again. She froze in shock when she saw you earlier.

“I’m fine!” you shout. “I’m fine! Really!”

When you get caught that you're weak, you retaliate.

You grit your teeth and clench your jaw.

“I’m. Fine.”

They don’t believe you. You can see it in their eyes. However, they're not going to argue with you. You know they won't.

“I’m going to shower,” you announce. Lando’s grip on your forearm tightens just as you pivot your heels to head to the bathroom.

“I think it's best if you stay today.”

“We all agreed that I’m going to be in the paddock from the practice sessions until the race night.”

“I’ll tell the PR team that you won't go today.”

Your brows furrow.

“Just… Rest for today, okay?”

You turn quiet. Hesitantly, you nod.

“Thanks.”

He turns to Jinnie and tells her, “Take care of her for me. I’ll visit after the qualifying.”

And like that, Lando Norris leaves the hotel room.

[sophsicle]

im not being mean or anything and not judging u at all but why don’t u like taylor??? im just curious bc there is some reasons why u could not like her

I MEAN okay. first things first. taylor swift is fine. like she is totally fine. i don't think she's a villain or anything. she has a fan base that is loud, and obnoxious, and currently dominating the public sphere and so if you are someone who doesn't WORSHIP her (hm hm *me*) it gets to be just a little annoying.

like there are t swift songs i bop out to. i don't have a fundamental problem with her. it is more the way she is spoken about that starts to get on my nerves.

and like. y'know. i don't think her winning album of the year again is something to celebrate. she's grammy bait. pretty lil blond girl who makes palatable pop music. im with jay-z on this one. in general i think she is someone of mediocre ability who has received praise far surpassing what she deserves which, is not her fault, but i find the god-like status she has acquired aggravating

the other thing is that taylor swift has a tendency to adopt political causes exclusively to the extent that they financially benefit her.

she presents herself, especially in her netflix documentary, as someone who wants to be an activist for causes, but she is quite frequently silent about things that she could clearly have a huge impact on *cough cough* Palestine*cough cough*

AND BEFORE someone comes at me with the whole "why do you need celebrities to speak about political issues blah blah blah" two things

like i said, taylor swift has specifically placed herself in this conversation

she doesn't HAVE to do anything, im not saying throw her in jail, but, you know, when you have all the power and all the money and you consistently choose not to use it (except, again, in very specific situations that benefit you) i don't respect you

taylor swift's carbon footprint just from her private jet, not her whole lifestyle, but just her private jet, is unconscionable and that is a specific her problem, like the negative impact she is having on the environment is extreme even when compared to other celebrities, which I’m so sorry, makes her an asshole

taylor swifts specific brand of uneducated white feminism that she tends to weaponize against, usually other women but, people in general, who she just feels are being mean to her is annoying and not helpful to anyone but her

her pursuit of a sexual harassment case as a spring board to launch a new album, just to several years later publicly associate with a man charged with aggravated sexual battery feels hypocritical

LIKE there are worse people in the world

but she does not have the talent or the moral fibre of someone worthy of the adoration she receives

[cranetreegang]

Save Her - Ominis x FemReader

Alright my fellow Ominis Simps. Here is the angst chapter (a lil late i know my b i was watching a rocket launch). If I don't make at least one of you cry, i will shut down my account and never write again. on god. no cap.

im just kidding ;) i ain't leaving suckas! hahahah you're stuck with me >:)

But low key, i do need someone to tell me to stop. i think im getting too crazy with some of these ideas.

Read Part 1 Here

🎶 Music to enjoy/feel to -> I'm Sending You Away and Never Goodbye and The Departure 🎶

Summary: Ominis and the Fifth Year are no longer speaking to one another. A rift Sebastian takes note of, and tries to bridge for them. Things take a turn, and she may be lost to them... forever

Word Count: ~7,400 words

Warnings: ANGST, Fighting, slight cursing, mentions of death, near death

Read my other Ominis Fics Here

------------------------------

Sebastian knows something is wrong. 

Over the past few days, Ominis has been far more curt than normal - not even bothering to exchange pleasantries half the time and he rarely ever smiles unless it’s a sneering smirk after a scathing remark. His patience is all but gone as well. His short temper extends not just to Sebastian though. A Second Year, who made the unfortunate mistake of bumping into Ominis one morning, received a tongue-lashing so intense, it would have made Professor Sharp blush. And now, almost everyone gives Ominis a wide berth so as to not face his wrath. 

Sebastian hasn’t witnessed Ominis this cold and cruel since their First Year, but even then he was still civil if not a bit aloof. He’s tried to speak to Ominis about his recent behavior, but Ominis is quick to dismiss him. Even going so far as to state it’s none of Sebastian’s concern and to stop ‘meddling with affairs he has no business being in’. Sebastian would be lying if Ominis’ words hadn’t stung him. 

Sebastian also took note in the lacking presence of their mutual friend. She was a common sight in the Undercroft or hanging off Ominis’ arm, but she’s been notably absent. When Sebastian brought up asking her to come study with them, Ominis gave him such a scathing glare, Sebastian had flinched away to avoid any hexes he might send his way. But, beneath the menacing stare, was an undeniable pain at the mention of her. And Sebastian almost couldn’t believe it. He stormed all over the castle to confront her for hurting Ominis. But then he found her.

She was leaning against a window overlooking the courtyard - her gaze far away. She looked abysmal and her features were contorted into an equally pained expression as Ominis. After he saw her, he started to really take notice of the state she’s been in. 

She's all but withdrawn. At dinner, she picks around her food while she glances towards Ominis - barely replying to anything Sebastian is trying to tell her. He’s caught Natty and Poppy both trying to help with her unkempt hair - brushing out the tangles in between classes while she stares blankly ahead. The dark circles under her eyes shows she doesn’t sleep much, if at all. When others speak to her, she rarely acknowledges, or she speaks so softly she might as well not have said anything at all. And everytime she tries to approach Ominis, Sebastian swears Ominis turns his back to her and goes the other way. It’s her longing gaze which eats at Sebastian the most. He’s never seen her this pathetic and beaten before.

Sebastian sighs as he thinks about his two friends. This cannot continue, he decides. And since they’ve yet to mend whatever is wrong between them on their own, he knows he has to step in and figure out what’s going on. If not for their sake, at least for his own.

He first approaches her after potions. Having just witnessed Ominis storming out without so much as acknowledging Sebastian as he passed, he figures he would have far more luck with her than Ominis at the moment.

“Hey.” Sebastian greets her with a tentative smile while he helps her pack her things.

She gives him a smile back, but it doesn’t even come close to reaching her glassy eyes. 

“Alright. What’s going on between you two?” Sebastian questions her as they walk out of the classroom. “And don’t say it’s ‘nothing’ as it most certainly is not. Tell me what’s gotten into the two of you.”

She looks at him as if she had been stricken. Her eyes trail over to where Ominis stomped away moments ago.

“It’s my fault… I messed it all up, Sebastian.” She whispers, her lip quivering.

He doesn’t waste time and he takes her to the more secluded section of the castle - since the Undercroft is absolutely out of the question. They take their place next to one another overlooking the Black Lake - where the wind carries its damp smell all the way here, on the rickety, old long bridge outside the Clocktower Courtyard. The looming gray clouds bring about an oncoming winter storm and it makes the wind bite their cheeks. She grips onto the wooden post with a somber expression and her eyes are glazed over. 

“Tell me what’s going on. Maybe I can help. I mean, I can’t fathom how you could actually mess something up with Ominis beyond repair. He adores you.” Sebastian says with a grin.

She gives him a wry smile, “I doubt he adores me anymore.” She closes her eyes with a deep sigh then asks in a whisper, “Have you ever made a mistake that you wish with every fiber of your being you could take back?”

Sebastian nods with a solemn expression, “Of course. I think we all have, at some point.”

It takes her several breaths before she continues.

“I’m sure you’re aware that Ominis comes from a long line of Legilimens.” 

He nods, “I know Salazar was one. Can’t say I’m surprised the talent stayed in the bloodline.”

“Well, I was hoping I could help him master his Legilimency. So he would be able to… feel me whenever he wished. It was supposed to help quell his worries when I’m not at the castle. So he knows I’m alright.” 

He waits for her to continue while her fingers pick at the weathered wood and a grimace consumes her features.

“After a particularly intense session, he now believes that I want to-, that I-I want to fix him. Wh-Which isn’t true. He’s not broken. He doesn’t need mending. I know this.” 

Sebastian lowers his gaze to the chasm below with a quiet inhale. He knows Ominis to be sensitive on the subject. Ominis’ mother in particular has been keen on him being ‘cured’ - going so far as to procure him magical eyes to be inserted at the removal of his current eyes. 

She lets out a shaky breath as her head falls, “B-But, maybe my motives were never in good nature. Despite my intentions, perhaps on some level, I did want to… fix him. And this was always selfish in nature.”

She sighs, “I won’t deny the allure of him able to see - even if it’s just through memories. It’s exciting. A gift.” She pauses and Sebastian can see her body trembling. “A gift, he never asked for, but I assumed he wanted.” 

Her hands cover her face, “Oh, Sebastian - I didn’t realize how carelessly I approached all of this until it was too late. And now, he won’t even speak to me.” 

Her last sentence comes out as a near whisper and she ducks away from him to hide her crying. Sebastian grabs her, turning her back to him, then he pulls her into a tight hug. She holds onto him as her head presses into his chest.

“Hey. Don’t cry. Don’t cry now.” He hushes. “It’s okay. It’ll all be okay.”

“No. No it won’t. You didn’t see the way he looked at me, Sebastian. I’ve never seen him so cold. He hates me. I fear this can’t be mended in any way. I-I’m sure he believes I’m no better than his wretched family.”

Sebastian pulls her away with a frown and furrowed brows, “You are nothing like that. Don’t even compare yourself to them. Do you hear me?!” 

She lowers her gaze from his and his fingers jerk her chin back up to him.

“Look at me.” He demands in a stern tone. “You need to stop wallowing in self-pity this instant. And we need to come up with a way to sit Ominis down to work this whole thing out. You both are being absolutely ridiculous. Him even more so. He’s being a right bloody arse, and you’re the only one who can sort him out.” 

“But, he doesn’t want to hear what I have to say. Anytime I try to go to him, he just ignores me, or walks away.” She grimaces - biting her lip to keep another wave of sobs from spilling out.

Sebastian smirks, “It’s a good thing I have my own way with him. I think I may have an idea.”

===========================

Sebastian will be the first to admit his surprise at Ominis’ acceptance to go to Hogsmeade, but he’s not about to complain. 

The journey there is all but silent. The storm of yesterday is upon them and leaves the sky in a dark gloom. Chilling winds cut through the wall of trees - kicking up the snow along the banks - and Sebastian wraps his arms around his chest to keep some of his warmth. He spares glances at his friend, noting how his brows are pinched together and his lips are pressed into a tight frown - seemingly unaffected by the frigid gales. He sees the dark circles under Ominis’ eyes as well and he finds some hope, that underneath all his bitter anger, Ominis still cares for her. And he’s just as upset by all this as she is. 

It’s once they’re at Honeydukes, does Sebastian finally find his chance to broach the subject. He catches Ominis lingering on a shelf of candies. Her favorite. His fingers glide over the boxes and he has a somber smile as he does. 

“You should get her something.” Sebastian says as he stands near Ominis. 

He retracts his hand, as if burned, and he sneers, “Why on earth would I do that?” 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Sebastian drawls out while Ominis turns towards the door - the bell ringing as they both leave the warm shop and head into the bitter cold, “to cheer her up. She’s been quite down lately. Like someone killed her beloved pet right in front of her. Not even Poppy can cheer her up - and she’s been throwing Puffskeins at her all week.” 

Ominis frowns at this, hurrying his stride - but Sebastian is hot on his heels.

“Is that what this venture is about? Did she put you up to this?” Ominis spits. 

“Far from it. She barely speaks any more - did you know that? I couldn’t talk to her if I tried.” 

Sebastian catches the wince rippling across Ominis’ features before he resumes his stoic indifference. 

“Well, perhaps that’s for the best.” 

Sebastian’s eyes widen, “You don’t mean that, Ominis.” 

“What if I did?” He retorts with an edge in his voice - any others would have backed down, but Sebastian has never been one to take heed of such things.

“Because if you did, you’d be as cruel as that brother of yours. And you and I both know, that’s not true.” Sebastian states. “Tell me. What’s wrong? What happened between you two? I thought you adored each other. And now, you practically hate her guts. Has she done something truly that unforgivable?” 

“I don’t hate her.” Ominis snaps then he grimaces with a slight shake of his head, “I thought she was different. But, she’s just like all the others. I should’ve known better than to expect anything else.” 

“What does that even mean, Ominis?” 

Ominis scoffs, “It means exactly that. If you want to know more - go interrogate her instead. I’m sure she’s dying to tell you all about it. Since she’s so apt on fixing everyone’s problems, it’ll be good for her to worry about herself for a change.”

Sebastian winces at his harsh tone while doubts of him being able to help start to bubble up. He sucks in a sharp breath, clenching his fists in determination.

“You know,” Sebastian says while they wind their way on the path back to Hogwarts, “is there any way you two could talk this out? Perhaps this is all one big misunderstanding!” 

“Doubtful.” 

Sebastian curses to himself at Ominis’ stubbornness. He hates when Ominis gets like this - and there’s only ever been one person who’s able to get him to come around to reason. And Ominis is refusing to ever speak to her again.

“Can’t you at least give her a chance to apologize? Bury the hatchet, and whatnot?” Sebastian practically pleads. “You do care for her. I know you do, Ominis. Despite all this guise of pretending you don’t. And guess what - she still cares about you. So, what’s stopping you? Your pride? I sincerely hope not. Because you, of all people, should know better.”

Ominis’ brows pinch together and his eyes soften. Ominis won’t deny, it’s been extremely difficult to keep up his ‘indifference’ towards her. He longs for her. But, he doesn’t know how to face her. 

“I-,” Ominis stops, his wand pointing to something ahead on the path. Sebastian follows his wand until he sees what’s got Ominis’ attention. 

She’s walking up to them - her hands are wringing together and her eyes are glued to Ominis. Sebastian curses to himself again.

Ominis turns to Sebastian with a scowl, “You lied. You did speak to her. To what? Ambush me?!” 

“I told you to wait in the Undercroft.” Sebastian hisses at her. 

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t wait any longer.” She speaks up. “I just want to talk to you, Ominis. Please.” 

Sebastian can see the hurt within Ominis, despite his best attempts to keep it all at bay. 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Ominis stomps past her. 

“Wait, please!” She catches up to him, tugging on his sleeve to get him to stop. 

“Get your hand off of me!” He whips around with a snarl, “Are you dense? Surely you must realize that I want nothing to do with you!” 

Sebastian stands next to her with his mouth agape, “Ominis.” 

Ominis bites his tongue hard enough to flood his mouth with a hot copper taste. He’s ready to yank his arm from her loose grasp and run away from the both of them when the noise of twigs breaking gets all of their attention. 

“You!” A masked man shouts as he emerges from the treeline - his wand pointing towards her and Ominis. “There you are! You lil’ meddling brat.”

Without pause, Ominis hears a spell being cast. He doesn’t have time to react before she steps in front of him. He hears her gasp and her body crumples to the ground with an audible thud. Sebastian is firing back at their assailants and spells whiz past Ominis’ head - just barely missing him. Ominis gathers his wits enough to help Sebastian. His casting is frantic and phrenetic. He hates the satisfaction he has in hearing the Ashwinders cries of pain when he and Sebastian land their heated spells, but he doesn’t restrain himself. 

It doesn’t take much to drive the dark wizards back, and they soon retreat into the forest from whence they came. A chilling stillness settles in the air with not a bird’s song nor insect’s chitter to break it - only the howling wind and Ominis’ and Sebastian’s heavy breaths. 

Ominis turns to check on her, when his foot hits something. He falls to the ground and he nearly recoils at touching her leg. He says her name over and over again as his hands move up her body to her face. He searches her face for any sort of movement, but she’s still. His heart seizes once he gets to her eyes. They’re wide open. Frozen in a lifeless expression. Sebastian stares at the scene with his mouth agape and his heart twisting.

“Sebastian? Is she alright? What’s wrong with her?” Ominis whimpers. He shouldn’t be this numb, nor feel that his world is disintegrating around him. But he does. And he doesn’t know how to make it stop. 

Sebastian is somewhat thankful Ominis cannot see her as he’s sure Ominis would shatter at the sight. Her eyes are wide, swallowed in an eerie teal mist, and staring blankly ahead. If it weren’t for the slight movements of her chest - he would believe her dead. Ominis drags her into his arms as he feels over her face in horror.

“Answer me!” Ominis demands, his haunting gray eyes a full on tempest as he searches in vain for Sebastian.

“She’s alive.” He states in a stern tone and Ominis lets out an audible sigh. “But, something’s wrong. I-I think they cursed her.” Sebastian can taste the bile in his mouth at the thought. “We need to get her to Hogwarts. Now.”

Ominis shuts his eyes then nods. 

Sebastian casts a Hover Charm on her - making her float lifelessly in the air. Ominis holds her close to him and they carry her back to the castle. They sprint into the Hospital Wing and start to babble like madmen once they arrive. The Nurse helps set their unconscious friend on a bed then pushes them back with a flick of her wand and she’s quick to work without a single word.

Ominis and Sebastian stand in silence. Sebastian glances over to his eerily still best friend and he places his hand on Ominis’ shoulder. 

“She’ll be okay.” He whispers. “She’s a lot tougher than she looks.” 

Ominis trembles under Sebastian’s touch, so he brings Ominis under his arm into a strong side hug. Sebastian hates this. He hates waiting for an answer. He hates seeing his friend - hurt and unmoving. And he hates the wretched expression upon Ominis. It sends Sebastian into a spiral of helplessness. He holds Ominis tighter - it’s the least he can do… the only thing he can do.

“I told her I wanted nothing to do with her.” He closes his eyes with a shaky breath. “Why did I say such a vicious thing to her?” 

Sebastian opens his mouth to speak, but Madame Blainey approaches them with a grim expression.

“Her body is unharmed. But, she’s suffering from a botched Memory Charm.” Madame Blainey states.

“What does that mean? Will she be alright then? That means you can fix it, right?” Sebastian questions. 

Madame Blainey sighs, her eyes downcast, “The state she’s currently in is not optimistic. She will have to be transferred to St. Mungos for further treatment. And…,” 

“And what?” Ominis’ voice is cold and devoid of any emotion. 

“St. Mungos will keep her comfortable.” Blainey spares them a sad, pitying smile between the two boys. “You may need to prepare yourselves for the possibility of her not waking from this.” 

Ominis’ shoulders sag and Sebastian scowls - taking a step towards the Matron with clenched fists. 

“That can’t be. You said it was a shoddy charm. So, why can’t it be remedied? Why can’t you heal her?!” Sebastian demands, his voice rising with every question. 

The Nurse raises both of her hands to ease Sebastian, but it does little to quell the indignation dancing in his dark eyes.

“The Charm may not have worked as intended. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t affect her.” Madame Blainey turns towards the occupied bed - where she lays, unmoving upon the pristine white sheets. 

 “She’s currently lost in her own mind. Unless she’s able to find her way back, I’m afraid she will remain lost to us.” 

Madame Blainey turns back to the two boys, “I am truly so sorry. I wish I had better news. I’ll leave you two alone with her.” 

Madame Blainey bows her head before she goes into her office - shutting her door with a click. 

Sebastian glares at the shut door while Ominis takes shaky steps forward until he reaches the foot of her bed. His fingers trace up her leg until they reach her hand. His hand wraps around hers and he lets out a gasp.

“She’s so cold.” He whispers. 

Ominis collapses to his knees with a silent sob, “This is all my fault.” 

Sebastian goes to his side, wrapping an arm around his heaving shoulders. Sebastian bites his lip to keep his own tears at bay. 

“This is not your fault, Ominis.” He squeezes Ominis’ shoulder while his other hand rubs up and down Ominis’ arm.

“It is. It is.” Ominis cries. “She wouldn’t be like this if I hadn’t been so cruel to her. I-If I would’ve given her the chance to speak. Instead, I-I just ignored her. I knew she was hurting, Sebastian. I knew I was hurting her. But, I chose to ignore it. All because I assumed the worst in her. And now, the last thing I said to her was that I didn’t want her.”

Ominis lets out a heavy breath, “Yet, she still chose to protect me. Even then she still… cared.” 

Ominis manages to get back to his unstable legs long enough to stumble towards the head of the bed. He feels over her face, brushing aside her hair as he does so. He buries himself into the crook of her neck and Sebastian can only place a reassuring hand upon Ominis’ back - and watch. 

“Please. Please. Wake up. Wake up and tell me what a fool I am. And how foolish I’ve been. Please, just wake up.” Ominis begs.

Sebastian can’t stand how hurt Ominis is, nor can he stand the blank expression upon her face staring at him. So, he leaves without a word. His destination - plainly written in his mind. 

====================

Ominis can barely hear the breaths leaving her. He has to strain his ears to catch the hint of an exhale escaping her. He places his hand over her heart. There’s a slight rise and fall, and a faint strumming of a near nonexistent heartbeat against his palm. 

“If this is your way of getting back at me for how-,” his throat cinches and he has to suck in a sharp breath, “For how I’ve been. I’d say you’ve made your point. You can stop. You can wake up now.” 

He sounds pathetic and desperate, even to his own ears, but he doesn’t care. He’ll gladly grovel at her feet, weep for forgiveness, anything. Anything. He'd give, he’d do, he’d say anything, just to hear her curse his name - to direct all the malicious things he’s said to her unto him. At least then, she’d be… 

He shakes his head at the grim thought. She’s not dead. She’s simply lost, as the Matron put it. 

“Lost in thought.” He murmurs. “I hope they’re pleasant thoughts. An old adventure perhaps? The ones you like to tell me about - even though they worry me to know you were in such a perilous situation.” He laughs, bitterly and near sobbing. 

“I hope it’s the one you and I were on together. I enjoyed it. Although, you did nearly get us killed.” He smiles to himself.

He feels over the top of her far too cold hand and he slips off his school robe. He drapes it across her while he focuses on the rise and fall of her chest - satisfied she is indeed still breathing. 

“Or maybe it’s best to not think of me at all. I wouldn’t blame you.” He murmurs as he grabs her hand once more. 

“I don’t know why I didn’t come to you. I wanted to. So badly. So very, very badly. It’s been driving me mad. Not being able to talk to you. There’s so much I want to tell you.”

But now, those words may forever remain unspoken. He shudders at the thought. 

“It’s not to say I wasn’t upset with you.” He confesses. “I was. Even now, I’m angry at you for throwing yourself into harm’s way - yet again. You’re so incredibly, unbelievably careless. And look at where it’s gotten you!” 

He lets out a sharp breath, ripping his hands away while he falls back into his chair. 

“You must be laughing right now at how-,” he gasps, “At how much pain I’m in. I’m in absolute agony right now, and you don’t even realize. Because you care about everyone so much - but never yourself! Why is that? Why don’t you love yourself to the same degree that everyone else loves you? Like I love you.” 

He falls into his hands and his fingers dig into his hair, practically ripping it from his scalp. 

“I love you so much. It pains me. I thought this was supposed to be a sweet, wonderful thing - yet here I am. In misery.” 

He strains his ears again, and he catches a slight exhale. 

“Say something, will you? Anything. Please. Just say something. End my torment.” He whimpers. 

Another near silent breath is his only response. 

He sits back up and slowly, carefully, reaches out for her. He tangles his fingers in her hair - far more gently than he had for himself - and he has her hand in a vice-like grip. He strokes her scalp while he listens for any slight changes in her breathing. But, it’s steady. Like she’s in a deep sleep and he’s merely trying to disturb her rest. 

“I know. I know.” He sighs. 

“I know you don’t like it when I’m upset. Especially over your… adventures. I just wish it was someone else in your place. Selfish, I know. But I never claimed I wasn’t. I wish you weren’t the way you are. So wanting to do good and to help those that have no merit for it.” 

He smiles softly, “But, that’s also why I love you so fiercely - that bleeding, kind heart of yours. Which, so foolishly, believes me worthy. Worthy enough to protect me. To care and love me.” 

He shakes his head to dispel the tears threatening to fall, “You are such a fool.” 

He squeezes her hand, his heart twisting when he doesn’t feel her squeeze right back, then he shifts to be closer to her. He presses a kiss on her forehead then rests his head against her temple. His nose brushes against her cheek and he sighs, taking in her sweet, calming scent. 

“It’s alright. For I’m a fool, too. We can be fools together. You and I.” He laughs, “It sounds wonderful, actually. We can live a foolish life. Doing foolish things. And, it’d be perfect. Because, you’d be there with me. And I, with you.” 

He closes his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose and letting it pass through his lips in a near whine. 

“I hope that’s what you’re lost in right now. Us. Doing foolish things. Together. You and I.” 

He whispers with a tear trailing down his cheek, “You and I.”

==============

By the time Sebastian returns, it’s the early hours of the morning. He goes towards the candle light emitting from her bedside. It’s not nearly enough to keep the shadows at bay and the dark silhouettes of his two friends sends a chill down his spine. Ominis is in a chair holding her hand and stroking her hair. He’s never seen Ominis so disheveled. His hair is pulled out of his neat, slicked-back style and his starched clothes are rumpled and wrinkled - his school robe lays over her as a poor excuse of a blanket. 

Sebastian doubts he fairs much better - feeling the sting in his eyes from straining them and refusing to let the exhaustion manifest to slow him down. Sebastian can hear the soft whispers Ominis speaks to her the closer he gets, but he can’t make out what’s being said. Sebastian hovers by the foot of her bed, unable to break Ominis from his hushed pleadings. He’s like a stranger intruding on something intimate - something not meant for him to hear.

“She’ll be transferred to St. Mungos at first light.” Ominis states, his head not even turning towards Sebastian. Sebastian closes his eyes with a deep breath - his throat impossibly constricted. 

He moves towards Ominis to rest a hand on his shoulder.

“We can save her.” He says with not an ounce of wavering in his voice.

Ominis whips his head towards him with wide, glassy eyes, “How?” 

“We can’t do it here. We need to take her to the Undercroft.” 

Ominis nods, “Very well. How do you suggest we sneak her out?” 

Sebastian is grateful Ominis isn’t fighting him on this - and he’s quick to cast the Hover Charm on her once again. 

“Quickly. Before anyone sees.” Sebastian takes the lead, with Ominis trailing behind. 

They arrive at the Undercroft and place her down in the middle of the circle Sebastian has prepared. Ominis smells the distinct stench of incense in the air and he frowns.

“What is it we’re going to do?” 

Sebastian guides Ominis to kneel right by her head.

“It’s you. It has to be you, Ominis. You’re the only one who can save her.” Sebastian states. 

“Me? H-How?” Ominis reaches out in front of him until his fingers nestle in her hair. 

Sebastian takes his place next to Ominis, “You have to reach into her mind, find where she is, and then guide her out of the charm.”

Ominis shakes his head, “No. No, I can’t.”

“You’re the only one who can.”

Ominis wants to object, but Sebastian places a strong hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll be with you every step of the way, Ominis.” Sebastian says. “You can do this. I know you can. She does too.” 

Ominis lets out a sharp exhale and he moves her head to rest on his thighs. He traces along her cheeks and jawline before he gives a short nod.

“I’ll try.” He whispers. 

Sebastian grins for a moment, “I’ve drawn a grounding circle around us to protect you from getting lost in there as well.”

“A grounding circle?” Ominis grimaces. “Sebastian, this doesn’t sound-,”

“Yes! Alright, yes.” Sebastian snaps. “This is experimental magic we’re doing - and it might not even work - but it’s all we got.” 

Ominis takes a deep breath as he closes his eyes, “Is there anything else I need to do?” 

“Just find her.” 

Ominis swallows down the apprehension, the fear, and the doubts. She needs him. And he won’t abandon her now. He takes another deep breath then searches for her eyes until he feels something tugging on him. 

He’s not greeted with the normal familiarity of her emotions. Instead, it’s an empty, stillness. It would be enough to send him reeling away, but he refuses to leave. Not without her. The more he feels around in the empty confines, he begins to notice there’s slight tears within this place. He reaches out and rips the veil apart. 

A slew of memories rush over him. He’s tossed around from one to the next and just when he’s beginning to understand what he’s seeing, he’s jerked to the next one - all fresh memories from the past few days. He has to watch as she tries to go to him, only for him to turn away from her - again and again and again. Each one hurts more and more, but he refuses to pull away. 

He keeps going even though his head feels like it’s being split into tiny pieces. 

He catches voices - Sebastian and her speaking. Then the voices of the men who attacked them. She didn’t even hesitate to move in front of him - all to protect him. How she still loves him, even though he said such horrible things to her not but mere moments ago is not something he quite understands. How could she be so…

Love. 

It speaks to him and the torrent he’s in slowly dies down as he focuses hard on the warm feeling. More images shift past him until finally it stays on just one, singular memory. 

The sun peers through the autumn leaves. Golds, reds, oranges, and browns are all in front of him. He blinks several times, nearly retreating from the overwhelming sight. It’s almost too much. All these colors swirl around him and it takes his breath away. He reaches out to grab the leaves as they flutter past, but they pass right through him as if he were no more than an apparition. He’s lost in absorbing the sights around him - walking along a stone path as he takes it all in. The chilled air and distant bird song brings him solace and the memory wraps around him like a warm blanket on a cold, winter’s night. Whatever this memory is, it’s important and it's like he’s been here numerous times before with how at home he feels.

He hears her soft laughter and he’s harshly reminded as to why he’s here. He sprints right towards it - going around bends and following the path until he finds two people walking next to each other. 

A boy with slicked-backed brownish-blonde hair wearing a black and emerald school robe and a girl in a similar black robe as the boy. The boy’s sightless gaze is in front of him - his head craned towards the girl next to him- and his wand emits a pulsing red glow. Ominis can’t believe he sees himself. More importantly, he can’t believe he sees her.

The sun casts a soft glow upon her smiling face and her shining hair. She keeps looking over at the boy - over at him - and every time, a warm smile tugs on her lips. He’s amazed at being able to see this smile reach all the way to her eyes - making them sparkle and shimmer. It’s enough to send his heart hammering in his chest as he watches them. He finds himself enamored with every little detail about her. Even the way she walks and moves her hands as she talks is captivating.  

He knows this day. 

They’re walking back from Hogsmeade. Long before they ever admitted to one another their feelings. Although he knew she looked at him often, he never imagined it was with such adoration. And the way her smile entangles in every word, it’s a wonder he didn’t piece it together sooner. He’s like a bystander as he watches them - they’re moving, yet they’re going nowhere and if he doesn’t keep his concentration on where he is, he finds himself looking through her eyes instead. A very disorienting sensation. 

He sees himself talking, but the words are distorted and cut in and out. He notices the woods around them are starting to get blurry and it’s all beginning to fade away. 

He concentrates until the memory comes back into focus with sharper clarity. They continue walking down the path and he goes to follow. He calls out her name, but nothing comes out of his mouth. He tries once more, yet again, nothing - not even a whisper. They’re walking away from him now and he’s running in place.

‘No. Come back! Don’t leave!’ He screams, but no sound comes out. He’s slipping and losing his grasp of this memory.

He won’t let her go. He digs within himself to compel the words to be uttered with every ounce of strength he has. 

Her name reverberates in a great shout and she stops walking. She turns to face him, the real him, and her eyes widen.

“Ominis?” She whispers. 

He laughs in both relief and disbelief. He runs towards her - his hand outstretched, “Yes. Please. Don’t go. Come with me.” 

She cranes her head and takes a step towards him with a slight smile until a voice cuts through:

“I want nothing to do with you!”

“Leave me alone!” 

“Get your hand off of me!” 

The memory begins to distort as she grimaces - backing away from him. The words keep repeating in a horrible mantra. It’s deafening and it makes him sick to hear his own vile words again and again.

“You’re not real.” She says, blinking back tears. “None of this is real.”

“Wait!” Ominis calls to her, but she’s already running away. 

No, no, no, she’s slipping from his grasp - then she may very well be forever lost. Something ignites within him - a sudden surge of control and power unlike anything he’s felt before and - with great effort - he forces everything to cease. The echoes of his words silence and the world around them fades until it’s just them in a dark, empty space. She turns towards him while he all but rushes to her. 

“Don’t go.” He cries. “Please. Come back.” 

She shakes her head while she steps away from him, “No. No, I don’t want to go back.”

“No, wait! Don’t leave me. I-I need you.” He pleads. 

He wants to go to her, but his feet refuse to lift. Some force is keeping him at bay. 

“I hurt you, Ominis. I didn’t mean to, but I did. I ruined everything.” She cries. “At least here, I can pretend. I can go back to how it was.” Her lip quivers and it breaks his heart to see her so upset. 

“You haven’t ruined anything, my love.” He whispers with a pleading expression. “It’s I who’s done that. I never should’ve pushed you away.”

He lowers his head, “I’ve been acting like that scared little boy that Marvolo would take toys from. The one Father would torment by ripping apart my mind. The son, a mother, so desperately wants to fix.”

He lets out a shuddering breath as he whispers, “It was easier to accept that you had ill-intent towards me than the truth.” 

She shakes her head, “The truth?”

He finds it impossible to look at her awaiting face, but he does. He knows he has to.

“It frightened me to see into your mind. Because, I wanted more. I wanted to see more. I wanted to be just like Father, and tear into your memories to make them all mine.”

He gasps at the truth leaving his lips. He stares at her as she stares back at him. He wishes he could understand the expression written upon her face. But, he doesn’t. All he can do is wait for her to speak.

She steps closer to him, “You are not your father, Ominis. And I’m so deeply sorry I put you in a position which made you feel even remotely like that. I never should have pushed you into doing what I believed you should want.”

He shakes his head with a bitter laugh, “If you hadn’t been so adamant on me learning how to do this, I wouldn’t be here right now. And you would be lost to me. And,” he looks at her with a wide smile, “I wouldn’t be able to see you now. Nor that beautiful memory.”

She lets out a near cry and her sweet smile brings him unfathomable joy. 

He steps towards her, “I’m not my father - I don’t have to use this ability the same way he does. I understand that now. This is, indeed, a gift. And I’m so sorry it took me so long to realize that.”

Her features morph into an earnest, pleading expression.

“This was never a means to fix you, Ominis. I don’t want to fix you.” She whispers. “I love who you are. And I’m so sorry if I made it seem otherwise.”

He smiles as he nods emphatically, “I know. And I was such a fool to believe otherwise. You didn’t deserve that.”

She beams with a slight laugh, “We’ve both been fools, haven’t we?” 

“I’m afraid we have.” He laughs. “So, please,” he holds out his hand towards her, “come back with me, love. Come back.”

She glances between his outstretched hand and him. A warm smile comes over her.

She closes the space between them and embraces him. He lets out a gasp at how close he feels to her - far closer than he has before - as he embraces her just as fiercely back. He senses something tethering to him. It’s trying to bond with him. It’s a magic he’s never experienced before, but he knows it’s stemming from her. He lets it tangle around him and the dark place they’re in begins to shatter.

Ominis gasps, reeling from the experience, and he has to gather himself. He blinks several times, a frown forming at his sight being normal once more.

“Ominis! Are you alright? Did it work?” Sebastian grips Ominis’ arm while Sebastian’s gaze is firmly locked on her. Ominis’ hands feel over her unmoving face and his frown deepens. 

“I-I don’t know.”

She jolts up with an audible breath before she falls back into his lap. Sebastian laughs, shaking Ominis as she blinks up at both of them in confusion. 

“O-Ominis?” She mumbles and her brows pinch together. “Oh, Ominis. You look like you’ve been romped by a herd of Puffskeins.” 

Ominis chuckles, his relief palpable, “That would’ve been far more preferable. Oh, it’s so good to hear your voice.”

She stares at Ominis with wide eyes. 

“So that was real.” She whispers with a wide smile as Ominis nods. He strokes her cheeks and she holds onto one of his wrists to ensure he stays right there.

 She turns her head towards Sebastian, “If this was your grand idea to get us back together,” she laughs, “well, I suppose it could’ve been worse.” 

Her eyes flutter shut with a groan,  “Although, my head is certainly killing me.”

Sebastian - unable to retort with a witty response - holds her free hand with a chuckle. Ominis leans his head against Sebastian’s shoulder, in both relief and exhaustion, while she glances between the two tear-stricken, grinning boys with a grin. 

“It’s so good to see you awake.” Sebastian smiles. “We were worried one of us was gonna have to slap you until you finally came to your senses.” 

She giggles, “Thank goodness it was unnecessary.” 

Ominis lets out a sharp laugh, “All thanks to you, Sebastian. None of this would’ve worked without you. Thank you.” 

“Anytime.” Sebastian grins at both of his friends, alive and well, with unmasked relief. Ominis plays with her hair with a warm smile while she looks up at Ominis with such adoration, it’s enough to churn Sebastian’s stomach from their sweetness. 

“So, let’s discuss my reward. I take many forms of gratitude.” Sebastian smirks. “Butterbeers. Doing my homework. Answers to next week’s test. I’m open to most ideas.” 

Ominis chuckles, “I’ll get you a whole keg of Butterbeer for what you’ve done.” 

“I’ll hold you to that.” Sebastian says. 

=================================

Ominis leans his head onto hers as they slowly stroll along the rickety, old, long bridge by the Clocktower Courtyard. She plays with his hand - intertwining their fingers together then releasing them to hold his hand, only to tangle them once again. 

“When do you expect to return?” He wonders.

“By this evening. I’ll try not to take too long.” She squeezes his hand. 

He hums, “I’ll be waiting for you.”

She smiles as they reach the end of the bridge and she turns to face him, “And I’ll be looking forward to seeing you.” 

He’s still captivated by the sight of what his wand paints of her. Like waves crashing to shore or a crackling inferno, magic rolls over her body in a steady hum. It’s electric and fiery - unbridled energy which sparks and ignites across her. He wonders if the pulsing is in time with her heartbeats as it thrums to a gentle beat. It’s breathtaking and he’s the only one who can see her like this - and he’s forever grateful his wand has adjusted to this new connection between them.

He cups her cheek with a soft smile, “I hope you don’t run into too much trouble, love. I do rather like you unharmed, and intact.”

She laughs, “Don’t fret. I promise to return just as I left.” 

He leans down and places a heated kiss on her awaiting lips, one which takes her breath away and leaves her wanting for more. It’s a brilliant supernova in her mind as he intertwines himself with her. She feels his lips on hers, but also her lips on his. For a brief moment, they are one. The sensation dies down as he parts, but his presence doesn’t fully leave her. She sees the strands of Ancient Magic tangled around him - glowing in a vibrant radiance as it stretches all the way to her. She wonders if he regrets it. This bond he’s been forced to share with her. He silences the thought before it can fully form with another deep kiss. 

“Do be careful.” He whispers against her lips with a sweet smile.

“I will.” She steps away from him before he can lure her back into his embrace. She summons her broom - sparing him one final, loving glance - then she takes off. 

He sucks in a sharp breath at her departure. If he concentrates, he can feel the wind in her hair and against her face. Whatever bond they had created in the confines of her mind, has not dimmed, but flourished. And as she flies further from him, he can find her like his guiding star. And he smiles - turning back to the castle to await her return.

--------------------------

AN: i like the idea of Ominis' mom being far different from his father and brother. Meaning, I want his mom to be a type of devouring mother where she manipulates you into believing she's only doing what's 'best' for you. idk, i can just see her being very sweet and doting in a twisted kind of way. like ripping out her son's eyeballs to 'help' him.

also, hope the magic bond and legilimency mind shit wasn't TOO weird. idk, i like the idea of magic bonds and Ominis' wand being able to detect her in his own special way. and ancient magic seems like a pure form of magic for this to be viable.

ALSO ALSO, is it Ominis' or Ominis's???? i might blow up my computer and then my local walmart on minecraft if it's the latter. I was told if a word ends in an s, then you don't add the 's. idk im not an english expert. im a dumb idiot writing mediocre fanfiction.

Any feedback is appreciated and wanted! I love hearing from y'all and thanks for reading <3

[bunny-bandit69]

Sanji × Fem!Reader

Sanji is hot, yes. And this is mainly based off the Live Action version so, yehh.. wouldn't really say spoilers as I jumped parts a good ammount to reach the smut, but enjoy~! @gamekun I dedicate this to you.

Warning: FemDom, Pegging, Praise, Swearing, Sanji is a goddamn bottom, both characters are switches. <3

You grew up along side Sanji, from the day you were dropped on that ship to following the boy around in the kitchen to help with anything at all.. However Sanji was always picking fights with the head chef because he wanted to have something cooked a certain way. Which that went on for ages, until the night pirates came to raid the ship.. " Sanji Im scared! " You sobbed, holding onto him whilst he backed you both up into a corner, a knife grasped in his hand tightly. " Don't worry, I've got you. " You knew he was brave, Sanji always was even in the most fucked up of situations,, However you knew that you both didn't stand a chance against a ship of pirates. And soon enough a big scary man barged through the door proving your point exactly,, the man however started looking around to notice what Sanji had last been cooking,, what he did next shocked you, he tasted it and said that it was good but needed oregano which caused Sanji to launch towards the man while screaming. " SANJI NO! " You yelped, chasing after him blindly.. Then everything blacked out,, you did not remember much after that.. You woke up on a cold wet rock in the middle of the ocean, with no one around. " What happened to everyone? " You heard Sanji ask the man,, The man of course said they all died before throwing a bag at him. " This is for you and her, go slow as its the only rations we have, and dont bug me unless you see a ship. " And with that.. The horror of your life began in motion, for days on end you sat at the edge of the rock beside Sanji, never speaking a word...

Time Skip ➜

The man who had rescued you both soon enough became a guardian of sorts, as well as revealing that he was a pirate named Red Leg of the cook pirates. At some point he even retired and became the chef and owner of a restaurant named Baratie. Along side were you and Sanji who were still as close as ever, you dare say you even became a couple after long enough. Zeff was always harsh on Sanji about his cooking, but Sanji put up with it and kept creating new things,, Till the day a bunch of shit excuses of pirates came into the place. One wearing a straw hat, one with 3 swords,, one with weird hair,, and another, a female with orange hair. Sanji became almost instantly infatuated with the orange haired woman which caused your blood to absolutely boil. You knew he was a flirt by nature to get better tips but, the way he absolutely stared at her didn't sit right with you. That night you hardly saw him, he was off doing god knows what with seas know fucking who. It was the first night you had slept alone in the bed and you hated it.. You hated it so much that you even cried a little.

Time Skip ➜

After having gotten to know the band of pirates as well as help Zeff save the green haired one youd come to learn was named Zoro, you'd forgiven Sanji and he apologized for being so absent so everything was back to normal as it should have been. All good things come to an end at some point, always.. and that ending was the day Luffy was almost killed by Arlong.. Nami had betrayed the entire group and fled with the map Luffy so desperately fought to get,, but even in the situation being so dire you couldn't help but stare at Sanji. After he dove into the water to save the little pirate, he sat knelt on the dock panting softly.. The unholy thoughts that racked your brain watching him kneel like that was the most inappropriate thing for the moment.

Even later that evening while everyone recuperated themselves you were lost in thought, imagining the ways you could bend the blonde to your will. You couldn't lie, the last time you and Sanji had been physical was months ago now, and it made your thoughts even worse. " Y/N? Are you alright? " Luffy called, eyeing you from his side of the ship which snapped you back to attention, nodding quickly before standing. " Im.. going to go find Sanji, try to get some rest guys. Goodnight " You muttered, glancing at Usopp before fulling leaving.You eventually did find Sanji, in your bedroom on the Baratie packing some of his things. " So you're going with them? As Zeff said. " Sanji only nodded, continuing as he was until you came to stop him by grabbing his arm. " Do you plan to take me with you or leave me here? " And with this you saw pain cross Sanjis face. " I can't take you with me, this is dangerous, and Zeff needs you.. And I won't be anything if I stay on this ship. " You only grinned, taking his words as a challenge. " You really think, I'm going let you walk out of here without bringing me with? Think again, now be a good boy, and kneel for me my love " Sanjis face now went blank, almost like he stopped thinking but his body obeyed like it always has and sunk down to the floor, his hands resting on his knees. " Im.. forgive me mon amour.. I will not abandon you here.. " At this you smiled softly, running your hand through his hair while he leaned into your stomach. " Can we have some fun..? " He muttered just loud enough for you to hear it, which caused your smile to grow ten fold,, as your hand traveled along the crown of his head to the back of his head you grabbed a handful of his hair to pull his head back. " You best apologize to me first, for threatening to leave me on this ship. " You could see it in his eyes he was internally screaming. Normally Sanji had control but every now and then you'd have the wheel,, and he was always so cute as a submissive little whore between your legs doing everything possible to please you.

Before you knew it he had already pushed your lower clothing down,, almost if a core memory he instantly started to place kisses along your stomach and thighs, but avoiding your cunt until given permission.. " Go ahead~ " You cooed softly, moving to lift one of your legs onto the stool sitting at the end of your bed to give Sanji better access of which he quickly took advantage of.. The feeling of his tongue cirling around your clit had you moaning softly while grabbing his hair harder,, pushing him as far against you as you could.. You didn't care if he suffocated right now either, just wanted your release and to punish him for possibly leaving you. " Fuck.. just like that,, good boy... " You kept spitting out small praises between moans that seemed to urge him on even more,, suckling harshly on your small bundle of nerves which caused your vision to explode in stars. Before you got to the edge though you could feel him starting to slow, starting to gain control of the situation which urked slightly as you were the one holding him buried in between your legs. " If.. you stop, I won't even touch you Sanji. " Your voice croaked, breathless from how well he was able to use his tongue but,, guess that's given due to him being a chef having to taste his food. Your threat alone caused an audible whine to escape him while he started back up his momentum, easily bringing you crashing over the edge onto his face.

After a moment of coming down from your high you'd let him pull away,, and my fucking God the view of his flushed face,, hair sticky from sweat as well as the puppy dog look in his eyes almost had you bursting again, it was earlier on the docks but so much hotter,, but now it wad time for his punishment. " Up. " You commanded gently, watching as he stood and a wave of confusion crossed his face,, " Stay still~ " You cooed, moving behind him, now going to grab one of his ties he normally wore.. but it was specifically the one he's tied you up with before. " Strip for me baby~ " He still couldn't see you which made him nervous,, worried of what was running through your brain. Once he had stripped entirely you'd grab his arms and pull them behind him to start tieing the soft fabric around his wrists,, you could tell his brain instantly stopped working which you took advantage for to be able to push him onto the bed once you tied the final knot. The fact you had this man bent over your bed with his hands tied gave you such a powerful feeling. " Say.. What do you think I should do to punish you? .. Should I just tease you or,, " As you spoke your hands started to grope his ass gently. " Should I see how well you could take me this time? " You watched him visibly shudder at this,, shudder at the fact you had threatened to peg him, but honestly he didn't seem against it. " D-do your worst.. " He huffed, his accent making his stutter sound so much cuter. You'd specifically ordered a special item just for the case a nice 8 inch dildo with a strap to go around your hips. He couldn't see the size or what you were holding in general since his face was buried against the pillows,, most likely mentally preparing himself. " Cmon my love~ spread your legs for me~.. " You purred softly, trailing one hand along his back while the other held a small bottle of lubrication that tilted slowly to pour a little ammount onto his hole. " Hey that's cold! " He yelped, pulling away only for you to laugh softly and rub his lower back. " It's okay dear,, it'll warm up soon enough~ " And you were correct as you just as quickly grabbed the base of the dildo to line it up with his entrance before slowly pressing in, watching the man before you moan out like a whore at the stretch was the last thing you'd expected,, " Oh? My Sanji is a little whore huh~? " You voice purred, now pushing half way inside, giving him the false hope that was all until you slammed the last half inside of him and you could swear he came just from that. " S-shit.. Y/N.. please move~ " He mewled, whining softly while trying to move himself along the dildo only to have no luck as you pulled away slowly, snapping your hips to shove back deep within him causing even more filthy mewls and begs to grace your ears. " That's my good boy.. Always doing so well for me.. " With each word you spoke you made sure to insinuate it with a thrust, burying as deep as you could within him. " im- I can't take it! Is too much I'm gonna explode! " He cried out, causing your pace to speed up even more until the point you had to lean over him for support while railing him over and over.. " Do it. Cum for me like the slut you are. " You spat, watching his body spasm as his own orgasm washed over him harshly. " That's it.. Relax.. " You purred, leaning into giving him the affection he deserves for being so good, as you pulled out and took off the harness you saw that he was still trembling slightly. " Damn, I didn't know you liked taking it up the ass that much~ " You laughed, smacking his ass before climbing onto the bed to untie his wrists from their binds. " Fuck you. " He mumbled, blushing heavily while turning over to look at you. " I just did. "

Time Skip ➜

The next day you and Sanji had both piled onto the Straw hats ship and started along your way,, Sanji of course wanted to ignore Zeff but in the end caved and said his goodbyes. " So guys! What's on the dinner menu?? " You heard Luffy shout, clapping his hands together. " Well tonight I will be making a smoked salmon with my special sauce. " Sanji responded, which caused Luffy to run around happily. " And you, I'll deal with you after Y/N. " That stopped you dead in your tracks, looking towards Sanji who only winked before walking away leaving you dumfounded. Well shit.. You were fucked.

[peaceloveandf1]

Soft Launch pt.3

part 1

part 2

part 4

part 5

part 6

summary: A month into the f1 winter break, y/n and Lance have been spending quality time in the US. Y/n is making her long awaited return to music after her divorce and she’s picked two songs to announce that it’s final.

pairing: Lance Stroll x Reader

Face claim: Taylor Swift

warnings: smut, oral seggs (f! receiving)

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yourusername posted a photo

liked by yourbestfriend, lance_stroll, atlanticrecords, sophiarichiegringe, and 8,620,100 others

yourusername we were something don’t you think so? Proud to announce my two new singles “The 1” and “Clean” are out now.

75,572 comments

atlanticrecords: so happy you’re back!!

yourbestfriend: so proud of how far you’ve come

yn1fan: HOLY HOLY SHIT IM READY

chloestroll: so excited for you 💗

enews: are you trying to tell us something bestie??

formulwon: Chloe commented and Lance liked🤨

^ WagsF1: okay and? They run in the same circle.

^formulwon: idk they both were posting at the same times……

peavceandlove: so sorry to hear about the divorce…I loved y’all 😔

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enews posted a photo

enews It’s over. y/n l/n has confirmed in two new songs that her and nhl player Matt Boldy have not just separated but they have finalized their divorce. click the link in bio to read more

3,000 comments

HughesLuvr: wow. Actually heartbroken. I hope the baby is okay

ynandMatt1: mom and dad divorced😔

boldysgirlie: I bet she cheated… she’s been with a f1 driver

ynfan: I hope she’s doing so much better now

yns.style: albums boutta be fire

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yourusername posted a photo

liked by oliviarodrigo, Versace, atlanticrecords, and 8,590,729 more

yourusername Daylight out right now.💗

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“Congratulations baby!” Lance said pecking me on the cheek at midnight. Bringing two pieces of cake out of the fridge as we lounged on the couch. “It’s only a matter of time until the tabloids put shit out though” I groaned laying my head against the arm rest. “That’s why you and Matt have already talked about it. He knows this is your job. You write songs. Fucking good ones I would like to add, but no way people think you’d release an album with songs about him without talking first.” He added pulling me up by my hands.

“Lance. I don’t know if you know but I love you” I smiled as he pulled me into a hug. “I think you may have said it once or twice” he laughed, “I love you too. I’m proud of you” he said, pulling me in for a kiss. Smirking, he whispered in my ear,“I think we should celebrate”, before pull me into a heated kiss the cake left forgotten on the coffee table.

“Babe I’m so fucking proud of you” Lance sighed, breaking the kiss and playing with the hem of my or his shirt. Hands grasping my waist, a sigh of relief escaping my mouth as Lance’s warm breath grazed my neck.

“Can we take this somewhere else?” I whispered as his lips connected to my neck, sucking softly.

“Thought you’d never ask. Jump” He said, pulling away from my neck and pulling me up, one hand in my hair, the other under my ass.

Reconnecting the kiss, Lance guided you two toward the bedroom. This wasn’t any regular kiss. It was different. Lance’s kisses ignited a fire in me, I felt giddy and burning with desire every time we were together. You would’ve thought the feeling would fade after the “honeymoon” stage but the desire is still prevalent. Every time we end up in bed together it’s new, it’s exhilarating, it’s fucking hot.

His lips attached to my neck as soon as we passed the threshold to my room, biting down and then soothing with his tongue. “Oh my god” I moaned out as he found the spot he knew I loved. I quickly covered my mouth to stop more moans escaping. “Let me hear you babe. Please”, Lance says kicking the door shut behind us.

Our clothes were ripped off in a whirlwind and thrown somewhere into the darkness as we backed up toward the bed. Lance’s hands found my skin, allowing a tiny whimper to slip past my lips as he brushed his palm against my breasts and then nipples.

“Oh my god Lance”, I groaned, grabbing his bicep, and sliding my hand to his thigh, making him take a sharp intake of breath. “I’ve been thinking about this since you left for London”, I moaned as his hand slipped down in between my legs, cupping the emerald green panties I wore.

“Fuck.” He grumbled, bending his head to leave open mouthed kisses across my abdomen, “I think about this so much”.

A gasp slipped from my mouth as he dropped to his knees, hands reaching the waist line of my panties and letting them pool at my ankles.

I shivered when I felt cool air hit my clit. “Don’t tease. Please”, I moaned, causing Lance to smirk up at me. His calloused fingers brushed against my inner thigh and I gasped as hit fingers finally slid in between my folds.

“You’re so fucking hot” Lance breathed from his spot between my legs. I gasped as his fingers finally pressed into my clit, while his tongue licked a stripe across my pussy.

“Oh god”, I practically yelled as his pace sped up, causing my hand to fly into his hair. More soft moans flew past my lips as he stroked you into a state of bliss. His tongue continued to hit the perfect spot as my thighs began to tense and moans got louder.

“Shit, babe I’m so close” I gasped as Lance continued his pace.

You knew that he could feel your muscles contracting and groaned, sending a wave of pleasure straight into your body.

“You gonna cum?” He asked, with a hit of cockiness in his voice and I continued to moan loudly.

“Yes, it feels so fucking good” I gasped as I felt myself come to the edge, expletives leaving my mouth. My legs began shaking, as my spine began to arch under his touch.

Lance groaned, wiping his mouth as he pulled away from me, smirking up at me before capturing me in a kiss. “Fuck that was hot” he whispered, “nice panties” he laughed before kissing me again.

I snickered as walking toward the bathroom. “I thought you’d like them.”

He stood there watching as I reached the door. “You coming?”, I asked him and to no surprised he followed, wrapping his hands around my waist.

“I love you”, he breathed out.

“I love you too.”

[yonpote]

as someone who wasnt here at the time (was a fan from about 2011-2013) what exactly defines the "softlaunch era" pre-coming out that i hear you and others refer to?

you've come to the right place cuz this is the era when i truly became a Phannie... "gay softlaunch" is generally considered 2017-18, but to be more specific it was october 31, 2016-june 13, 2019!

before they came out this was also referred to as "post-baking universe" referencing the halloween 2016 monster pops video that had an (at the time) abnormal amount of raunchy humor and just general derangedness. nothing like it is today, but that point felt very significant and dan even brought it up in liveshows like yeah idk what happened there and when phil called a peach an ass in a gaming video dan said "we live in a post-baking universe" (i believe fans coined the term tho).

people have also called it the "glass closet era" which is a divisive name for a lot of people cuz "glass closet" can be seen as kind of a mean term and it implies like, stereotyping or speculating or the "we been knew" behavior dan had talked about in BIG. which i understand that feeling, but i don't think that's what was happening, because the way i see it was queer flagging. ways they could show a little bit who they really were without saying it just yet. they weren't Out out, but they were just like. openly talking about attraction to men and finding men hot and not calling it a Man Crush or anything. dan would bring up queerness more often in liveshows, which hes mentioned queer artists and stuff before but now it was also making jokes about like.. being in a gas leak man porn fantasy in his first livestream of 2017 LMAO. phil would make a lot more innuendos, which hes always done, but now he wasnt pretending like he didnt know what he was saying. dan started wearing a single hoop earring on his right ear. this is an old school form of queer flagging, in The Olden Days (im too lazy to look up when but like my 70-something year old history teacher knew about this) if a man had an earring on his left ear, he's straight, and if he had one on his right, he's gay. that one's pretty subtle if you don't know much about queer history and there were Great Debates over whether or not we should take it to mean he is gay, but personally i saw it as like. he was letting us know without needing to say the G word out loud just yet!

i think a really important part of this era was even outside of directly discussing queerness, they were both trying to become more authentic online and figuring out how to do that without compromising their own privacy. dan stopped straightening his hair and rebranded and opened up about his mental health. phil's authenticity journey seemed a bit slower and wasn't as overt or seemingly drastic as dan's was, but it was happening! he changed up his hair!!! which yes its kinda silly to talk abt dnp's hair but the emo fringe was Their Brand. phil in particular said that, the emo fringe was a comfort place but he was feeling like he was trapped in having it forever because it was Who He Was, so it was a huge deal for him! he opened up a little bit about his physical health, both of them were a bit more honest about all the stress and anxiety they were dealing with (the mukbang is a pretty good video where they talk about that and an interesting one to watch in retrospect) and their whole 2018 tour was themed around whether they should Give The People What They Want or do what they wanted to do.

god i talk too much ANYWAY then dan disappeared in 2019 and phil was manning the helm for a good five and a half months and then the Big Gay hit! the Hard Launch Era if you will :) and now i would say 2023-present is the Unhinged Era so i have no clue what the hell their next move is gonna be...

[kindestofkings]

sunshine baby [2]

heyy you can find part one here!

yourusername posted to their story!

guys just woke up and have over 2,000 follow requests from people who love my boyfriend @bobby why the softlaunch

bobbyskeetz hahahahah Im prized goods but allll yours bobbyskeetz brb gonna go hardlaunch ya yourusername DONT YOU DARE

yourusername

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

yourusername a mad bittersweet week. some temporary goodbyes and I made my last coffee in THE BEST COFFEE SHOP IN DUBLIN, cause my boyfriend and his silly little band are in need of a piano player for a few gigs 🫣

view all 32 comments

bobbyskeetz ooooohhhh yeeahhhhh lets GO

ryanmcmahon_15 thank you for making our little boys dreams come true

joshjenkinson_ fr its his first good idea in years bobbyskeetz jenkinson you can not ruin my mood ;)

yourbestfriend IM SO HAPPY THE WORLD IS GONNA SEE MY SUPERTALENTED BESTFRIEND

yourusername i am freaking out, that god the girlies get so distracted by the four handsome devils (liked by elijahhewson,bobbyskeetz, ryanmcmahon_15 and joshjenkinson_) yourusername its me I am girlies

yourfriend1 dinner was amazing as always! keep us in the know about touring life!!

yourfriend2 gonna miss the free coffees, and you ofc :(

inhalerdublin

liked by yourusernames and others

inhalerdublin we still can’t believe you nearly broke the floor at this one. the greatest fans in the world. it's great to be back!

view all 210 comments

inhalerfan1 eli: "we're gonna ask you to please stop jumping, the floor is collapsing" hahahaa (73 likes)

inhalerfan2 we love you!!

inhalerfan3 who was on keys last night!?

inhalerfan1 I noticed they didnt introduce them, was defo not louis tho!

yourusername

liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others

yourusername like paris in FOURTY FIVE the whole world's waiting to come aliveeee 🕺🕺

view all 20 comments

lewevans please please get over the shyness I have cute pictures of you that belong on inhalerdublin

yourusername hahaha im TRYING lewevans its also so refreshing taking pics of people that acc smile!! yourusername hahah they have a image to uphold you know this loll

inhalerfanupdates

liked by inhalerfan2 and others

inhalerfanupdates GUYS i got a really clear pic of the girl who's on keys for the boys at the moment!! so then I did some digging and found this photo of her with the ryan and eli a year or two ago, do you think they're friends from home?

view all 22 comments

inhalerfan1 no stop shes sooo pretty

inhalerfanupdates Ikr ! she seems really shy tho I think thats why the boys dont introduce her, cause they used to with louis...

inhalerfan2 I think I'm gonna make her a cowboy hat! welcome her to the inhaler family!!

bobbyskeetz added to their story!

life is pretty great rn. barcelona you're next !

inhalerfanupdates

liked by inhalerfan2 and others

inhalerfanupdates this was sent in by inhalerfan2 who was at the barcelona show:

omg hi so Im just back from the inhaler show,they were obviously incredible! but I wanted to send you my pics of yn! who I made a cowboy hat for, she seems like the sweetest person ever, the first pic is her reading my sign (about making her a hat). then the second picture which is i think the most beautiful thing EVER, is her coming down to take it. after she stole josh's mic to thank me 😭����

view all 22 comments

inhalerfan1 wow she is gorgeous. what were the boys doing during all of this hahah

inhalerfan2 they were loving it haha kept laughing and all, think eli said something like "if only we knew all it took was a cowboy to get her to say hi" inhalerfan2 also rob had major heart eyes for her the whole time

inhalerfan3 WAIT remember the soft launch rob posted a few months ago, i think the instagram username that replied to him had the name yn in it!!

inhalerfan2 awww wait do you think they're dating inhalerfan1 let her cook!

inhalerdublin

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

inhalerdublin we finally got the go ahead from our shyest (and sweetest) member of our crew! yourusername has been with us from the very beginning in music class and then in the recording studio for both albums, only felt right we got her on the road with us <33

📸 lewevans

view all 290 comments

inhalerfan1 OH MY GOD SHES SO BEAUTIFUL

yourusername ahhh my gonna cry you're so SWEET

inhalerfan2 not so patiently waiting for her to make her account public...

yourusername hey gorgeous I think it'll be another while yet until I do that sorry !! <33

bobbyskeetz angel on the keys

(liked by yourusername, ryanmcmahon_15, elijahhewson and joshjenkinson_)

inhalerfan2 called me single in a thousand ways

yourusername

liked by yourbestfriend and others

yourusername romance is not dead, if you keep it just yours.

last few weeks have been a dream thank you boys, particular this handsome devil !!

view all 15 comments

bobbyskeetz ah would you stop! keep going...

elijahhewson 👍💪👊

yourusername old man you know what an emoji is??

yourbestfriend is he giving you back yet??

ryanmcmahon_15 never thought id see the day we'd get you on the band insta

yourusername me neither tbh, talk about some personal GROWTH! joshjenkinson_ feel like a proud mother 😭

bobbyskeetz added to their story!

home time with the don 💪

inhalerfan1 SHES SO PRETTY PASS IT ON

-finished-

[love-belle]

this is how you fall in love !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which they were best friends but they were so much more than that.

or

for when you fall in love with your best friend. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lando norris x fem!reader

warnings - language

author’s note - literally falling asleep as im writing this hope u like it i love u thank u

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, yourusername and 986,628 others

landonorris oh ur in her dms? well she's doing her british accent in front of me

tagged yourusername

11,628 comments

username HELLO

username babe wake up lando posted y/n AGAIN

username the fact that his acc is just a y/n fanpage at this point

username THEM IN THE 4TH AND 5TH SLIDE GOODNIGHT

lilymhe stop stealing my gf thank u.

-> landonorris no <3

username i will be losing sleep for YEARS over the fact that lando drew that star and she got it tattooed like :///

username they're so in love my lord

username best friends to lovers. 300k words. angst with happy ending.

username last slide is so cute i sobbed ❤️❤️❤️

username me waiting for their relationship post like.

danielricciardo she has a horrible british accent

-> landonorris don't tell her but yes

-> yourusername fuck u

username THE CAPTION HELLO

-> username RIGHT LIKE IT HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING

username she's so beautiful like ❤️❤️❤️

username i fall in love every time i look at her

*liked by landonorris*

username caption made me giggle ngl

username i love them so much oh my god

username no bc i will NEVER get over the fact that lando brings y/n flowers EVERY time he sees like like

-> username REAL LIKE I CAN'T EVEN GET A TEXT BACK

yourusername thank u for sitting me with for 3hrs ❤️❤️❤️ sorry u had to listen to me say "what's all this then" 2638282628 times

-> landonorris no it's fine i love listening to u

-> username and i am dead

-> username lando saw that tweet about "no rizz" title and decided to pull the big guns out

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, francisca.cgomes and 991,628 others

yourusername r u done pretending like i'm not the love of your life

tagged landonorris

13,728 comments

username GOODNIGHT WHAT.

username COME AGAIN

username WHATCTHEBFCK

username I MEAN WHAT WHATCHWAT

username OH MY GOD O H MY HKD OH MY HKD OHCM YUDOCO HM Y HSK

lewishamilton so happy for you both!!!

*liked by yourusername*

username THE CAPTION THE PHOTOS THE EVERYTHING

username i just fell to my knees in the parking lot that.

username hold on im not awake enough for this shi

username WE WON 😭😭😭😭😭

carmenmmundt the cutest 🤍🤍🤍

*liked by yourusername*

username so y/n woke up and chose violence huh

username she really said fuck soft launch

username her hard launching her man as she should u go queen

username i like a proud mother like OH MY GOD

landonorris yeah sorry it took me so long 💔

-> yourusername it's okay i forgive u 💔

landonorris wanna bang?

-> carlossainz55 LANDO

-> danielricciardo MATE

-> pierregasly OH MY GOD

-> yourusername LANDO OH MY GOD

-> landonorris *HANG OMG

-> username sure...........

username im so happy like u don't UNDERSTAND

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, danielricciardo and 1,926,527 others

landonorris goodnight to my girlfriend and my girlfriend only

tagged yourusername

14,628 comments

username "girlfriend" IM CRYINF

username we've come so far omg :///

username tears are flowing

username THE MATCHING LEGO NECKLACES IM GONE

username they're so in 🤮love🤮 (i love them so much)

charles_leclerc for the love of god stop saying "girlfriend" over and over again

-> landonorris no girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend

-> charles_leclerc blocked and reported.

username THEY'RE SO CUTE OMG

username violently sobbing

username im fine (i lost two of my most ❤️❤️❤️ parasocial relationships)

francisca.cgomes 🤍

*liked by landonorris*

username the way they're literally in a best friends to lovers trope

username im so 😭😭😭😭

username i've prayed for times like these

username AHHHSHHSHSJDBXNS

georgerussell63 finally!! thought you'd never make a move

-> yourusername he didn't i did

-> landonorris STOP TELLING LIES

username the way they look at eachother 😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username god me WHEN

carlossainz55 finally!

*liked by landonorris*

username not me crying and screaming as if it's MY relationship

yourusername i love u boyfriend

-> landonorris i love u so much girlfriend

yourusername we make such a hot couple

-> landonorris fuck yeah we do

username the fact that they're best friends except they now kiss and all

username IM SO ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ABT THEM OMG

[the-duchess-of-domination]

College Tummy Tales

due to popular demand, here is a comprehensive list of all tummy-related events that happened on campus this semester (these are all 100% real, i promise you 😭😭😭)

1. this literally happened last friday. i live in a sophomore dorm with my roommate and best friend. we live in an all-gender wing, so me and her are constantly patrolling the hallways because really weird stuff happens at night. last friday we heard some activity near our door, and we decided to be nosy and see what was happening. we came out into the hallway and saw our RA standing near the bathroom, and this twenty-year old guy we live across from sitting on the floor (he’s SUPER cute, like he’s got that shoulder-length middle part haircut and is generally just really friendly and playful. i think he’s a theatre major). anyway, he was curled up on the floor with a bottle of ginger ale and he looked absolutely AWFUL. we asked if everything was okay and he cracked this really weak smile and told us the fish from our dining hall made him sick, and he puked and felt really dizzy and had to sit down on the floor. our RA passed by and got really worried about him and just stayed with him until he felt like he could walk back to his dorm. my roommate knows about my interests (she’s SO FUNNY and supportive) and she was like 😏 girl you gotta take care of him. i didn’t want to overwhelm him so we let him rest. i ended up texting him later and asked if he was feeling better, and he said he was and thanked me for checking up on him. i guess the moral of the story is don’t eat the fish from the dining hall.

2. i am friends with a lot of male theatre majors LMAO. this story happened like, a month ago and isn’t as eventful, but another cute male theatre major is in my ballet class (he is the ONLY guy in my ballet class), and one morning he was sitting out from dancing and i came over to talk to him. COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED he LAUNCHED into a monologue about how bad his stomach hurt that morning, complete with the moaning and groaning and everything, even like, sitting up and showing me his stomach and pushing it out. i was so stunned i just started laughing and he jokingly was like “why are you laughing at my pain????” and i was like “idk i guess you just saying the word tummy as a grown man” and he was like “my tummy? my delicate hurting tummy? my sore little belly?” i swear to god, the male theatre majors are built DIFFERENT.

3. on the topic, men seem to feel really comfortable just using the word “tummy” in general, which i find amusing. i can count a couple of occurrences of men using the word tummy for comedic effect, using phrases like “tummy ache survivor” or “having a tummy ache and being a very brave boy about it”

4. this next one happened in the dining hall and i thought someone would find it amusing. im not huge into burps, but last week this big boisterous frat guy kept burping SO LOUD in the dining hall. it was so fucking obnoxious and the burps were so long and sustained. i kept looking over to give them the stink eye, and the guy had like, 5 empty plates, so ig he was a little full and gassy or something because LORD. hopefully he didn’t eat the fish 😟

5. this last one is the real kicker. in one of my design classes there is this cute, chubby redhead that sits next to me. before class started he had begun complaining to no one in particular that he woke up nauseous that morning. im a really friendly girl so i guess people just feel comfortable sharing things with me, but during class this redhead leaned into my ear and whispered something. like ballet, i was so stunned i asked him to repeat it, and it turns out my ears did not deceive me. he said “i have a tummy ache” into my ear, and my eyes widened and i just couldn’t believe it. i asked if he was hungry or something and tried to offer him a granola bar from my bag, but he turned it down and said he was going to eat something after class. but WOW. im still in disbelief about that one.

anyway, that’s all i can think of for now. me and my roommate have a counter called “X amount of days without a man telling [my name] about his stomach.” so far we’ve only made it 2 days because that halloweekend guy in my poetry class made me have to reset the counter. anyway, love my roommate 💖 the other day she was like “girl you’re only attracted to him because he had an upset stomach 🤨” and i DIED because she’s so right. the bar is so low, boys.

[faeriescorpio]

Mission Impossible Dashboard Simulator

🎮 letmewearamask Follow

Why is it called the Impossible Mission Force if we've succeeded at almost every mission we've done? Impossible mission? More like possible mission

🪈 ihatemi6 Follow

she mission on my impossible til i task force

🎮 letmewearamask Follow

this was an unnecessary addition to my post. i have your IP address.

#im going to tell Bravo Echo 11 what you wrote

154 notes

📺 failed_da_field_exam Follow

I can't believe that they decided to tell the public that it was a gas leak. how many gas leaks per month will the public accept??? theyre so gullible smh

⚙️ tiredofthisshit Follow

dude... don't know how to tell you this. it was really a gas leak this time.

📺 failed_da_field_exam Follow

oh my god?! you're joking. well i guess one of them had to be real

⚙️ tiredofthisshit Follow

ha! got you. you're just as gulible as the general public it seems.

📺 failed_da_field_exam Follow

BLOCKED.

📺 failed_da_field_exam Follow

guys can we not reblog this. can we stop reblogging please

1,369 notes

🎯 mycircus-mymonkeys

i hate it here. let me resign.

#officelife #imissbeingafieldagent #workingforkittragefuckingsucks

3 notes

📼 BE11-deactivated10112023

Hey guys. I'm new to tumblr. My partner told me to make an account. He also said to tell you guys some stuff about me but that seems like a breach of information.

🎮 letmewearamask Follow

Dude. I promise no one's going to know it's you. You can share something, like, what's a hobby of yours?

📼 BE11-deactivated10112023

i climb things.

🎮 letmewearamask Follow

...no. That's what you do for work.

🎮 letmewearamask Follow

hello? did you just delete your account???

6 notes

🔪 i-fucking-lovefieldwork01 Follow

guys talking to some of my peers and im encountering some strange opinions. just want to clear things up.

🔪 i-fucking-lovefieldwork01 Follow

...

🔪 i-fucking-lovefieldwork01 Follow

jeez. reading the tags and some of you need a raise in morale. sure this was the only option that left you alive or free but after a certain amount of years most of you should be allowed to retire to a civilian life. couldn't be me though. i fucking love shooting people.

735 notes

🎯 mycircus-mymonkeys

sometimes a workplace rivalry is just as good as a workplace romance

🎞️ should_you_choose_to_accept Follow

guys OP let his team leader give real nuclear launch codes to a terrorist. dont follow him

🎯 mycircus-mymonkeys

I can neither confirm nor deny details of any operation without the Secretary's approval.

545 notes

💻 hackerrrman Follow

you guys will not believe how insane my team is guys. the mask machine broke again and my team leader decided we would just go without masks. does anyone else have this problem?

📡 tango-foxtrot32

omg yes!! we always keep TWO mask machines on hand for all of OUR missions because one of them is always breaking! ive complained to the tech team so much but apparently its 'our fault' and we need to 'be more gentle' with the machines

💻 hackerrrman Follow

what do they mean, "be more gentle"?? i mean my team once had a guy slam the mask machine against our targets face and it broke. but i cant imagine other teams doing that

📡 tango-foxtrot32

yeah no that's.... why did you use the mask machine as a weapon? i... our problem is that we've been 'making too many masks at once' according to the tech. what.... how have your other mask machines broken....

💻 hackerrrman Follow

well now i don't want to say.

📡 tango-foxtrot32

...

#goodlord #imscared

2,001 notes

🚐 vanguy Follow

so was anyone going to tell me that the prisoner ive been transporting to america was actually the most wanted terrorist of our times. or was i supposed to find out when i dropped him off and the CIA congratulated me for keeping him contained.

🎯 mycircus-mymonkeys

It wasn't your buisiness to know. especially if you're going to be talking about it on social media.

🚐 vanguy Follow

im so sorry please dont fire me

125 notes

⌛️ fuckthecia Follow

day 78 of saying FUCK THE CIA

🪈 ihatemi6 Follow

FUCK THE CIA

⌛️ fuckthecia Follow

HELL YEAH! day 1 of saying FUCK THE MI6

🪈 ihatemi6 Follow

HELL YEAH

903 notes

🎙️ good_evening

good evening everyone. you probably could figure out already by my manner of typing, but I am in fact the person who voices all your mission dossiers. I just want to say that I'm also responsible for gathering and summarizing all the information you need. and let me just say. you all have some serious shit going on. jesus christ.

🔪 i-fucking-lovefieldwork01 Follow

...and?

🎙️ good_evening

and what? I'm glad I'm not a field agent. LOL

#my average day is me reading papers out loud #your average day is 'if your team is caught or killed you will be disavowed' LOL

219 notes

♟️ its_treason_then Follow

guys why is Lane kinda.... 😳

🚐 vanguy Follow

??! no he's fucking not

♟️ its_treason_then Follow

politely i disagree with you.

🚐 vanguy Follow

YOU'RE looking at dossier photographs. *I* saw him IRL

♟️ its_treason_then Follow

omg you met him?! can you get his autograph for me please

🚐 vanguy Follow

what is wrong with you?!

58 notes

🪣 hr-sux Follow

do you guys ever just sit in a local coffee shop and try to profile random strangers for fun

🗝️ washington_locale Follow

no? wtf

🪣 hr-sux Follow

what? theyre civilians. its fun

🗑️ techboy33 Follow

girl.... in D.C.? ain't no one a civilian

📁 imf-heritage-post

Official IMF Heritage Post

986 notes

🗂️ days-without-disasters Follow

0 days without a disaster

📡 tango-foxtrot32

WHAT HAPPENED?!

🎮 letmewearamask Follow

dude... you don't even want to know....

413 notes

thats all for now ^w^ i have more ideas

[ofallthingsnasty]

Urrrgg im such a wuss about physical pain but something about punctured wounds specifically makes me scared more than cuts or bruises. I think it’s something about the “intrusion” that a sharp object does when it stabs you that it doesn’t do when merely cutting you

Suffice to say Crocodile even threatening to give me a “piercing” will scare me into submission. Suddenly I’m throwing out my escape plans because I do not want to be hurt like that 😓 Sir you can spank me however you want but PLS don’t put that hook anywhere near my face

oh goodness anon, you're way too cute 😭💕 he would never ever hurt you because i say so.... but this also made me think...

tw. yandere, violence, a little over-the-top gore (facial), references this post

Now that you mention it - there are two ways he could harm you with his hook in that specific scenario, one more planned and one more impulsive. (To pierce your tongue, he’d need a forceps or at the very least a very steady hand or else he’s going not only cut into your tongue but the floor of your mouth as well - which could lead to severe bleeding and neurological damage, oh my. Your cheeks are a different story - he might still injure a tiny branch of the facial nerve but you’re not going to lose some motor functions.) 

But to be honest - if he does this to you, it’s going to be entirely impulsive because he’d have to be exceptionally mad. Angry beyond belief or reason, so precision and thought aren’t going to be present. (Even if I really want him to get my tongue, ugh 😔) He isn’t even going to threaten it, he’ll just launch forward like a man possessed and puncture your cheek, force his hook through the fat of your face until he hits your teeth, just lashing out, just senselessly hurting you to shut you and your horrid mouth up.  And god help you if you react on instinct and pull away, because that is going to net you an open cheek and a nasty scar.

Will he feel guilty just moments later, as rare as that emotion is for him? Yes. Will it stop your incessant  babbling and shock you into submission? Also yes. Like you said, I can only see this happening once, maybe twice? You’d have to do something so outrageous and disrespectful and keep at it to get this rather calm man to that point - but it’s achievable and a serious escape attempt could do it.  But you being feisty plays a big part in this - because if you aren’t (if you grovel and cry and beg for forgiveness, kiss his feet to soothe that anger, worship him like you’re supposed to), he won’t end up that mad. You’re still going to regret it, no doubt, but he has this pesky little soft spot for you that, if pressed, can mellow him out rather quickly. It really depends on you and your actions.

But if it happens? If the meat of your right cheek suddenly loses tension and flaps around because his hook is too big to control and you instinctively pulled back, away from the pain, the hurt? All that anger is going to evaporate in an instant. He just needs to see your stunned face, pain barely registering because of the adrenaline that is running through you, just needs to see all that exposed fat and muscle to immediately regret it. It’s a grotesque sight; yellow, pink, stark red mixing as your teeth gnash in horror and your thoughts are going a mile a minute trying to register what just happened. Of course, he wastes no time and takes you in for the best care he can find in that moment, intent on keeping both the functional and aesthetic damage to a minimum - but his hook is big and brutish and the wound leaves you with a gnarly scar, no matter how skilled the hands of your surgeon are.

When it’s all said and done, he’ll still feel that little pang of guilt from time to time when he traces the scar with his thumb - but it’s more that feeling of regret a little boy gets when he scratches up a brand new toy, that disappointment that it isn’t shiny and new anymore and not genuine remorse because he inflicted so much pain on you. He can’t feel bad about it for too long when he remembers that you see what disobedience gets you every time you look into the mirror. It might have marred your looks - but it has made you so wonderfully pliant as well, has earned him your respect.