#Bad Miracles (Good Omens au)

[anotherhumanpet]

@xflashbastardx replied to your post “This is one hell of a message to wake up from a...”:

"Cat's out of the bag I guess. Now you know why I've really been keeping an eye on you." He's absolutely messing with him, poor kid.

"I don't want to be Jesus 2.0. I didn't sign up for sacrificial worship!!"

[foolishlovers]

COLLEGE/UNIVERSITY AUs: Below you can find a list of Good Omens fics in which Aziraphale and Crowley are either students or professors at college/university.

[Requested by anon. You can request more fic recs here.]

Catch Me When I Fall by Ghostinthehouse (G, 666) Later, at home, they laugh openly about it, and lay bets on how long it will be before this year's undergraduates catch on that they are married. "Your turn to drop a clue next, angel," Crowley drawls from where he sprawls with his feet on Aziraphale's lap.

A New Adventure by Arielavader (T, 1k) Crowley did not expect the new guy in their D&D group to be so… gorgeous.

Emporium by wingeddeanmon (Not Rated, 1k) Aziraphale's friends ditch him at the local goth store. The employee working is friendly, and he soon develops a crush.

Ineffable Professors by spoondrifts (G, 2k) After noticing all the blatant pining, the classes of Mr. Fell and Dr. Crowley join forces to set up their respective teachers.

The Best College Parties are the Ones that You Leave Early by MariMoon812 (T, 3k) For a moment they just started at each other as Crowley’s spinning head tried to comprehend what, exactly, was happening. Was this one of the professors? No, he clearly wasn’t that old, but then why was he dressed like that? Was it a hipster thing? Did the guy also have an antique typewritter that he used to write history papers? What? Why was he just staring at him? Just as Crowley was beginning to short circuit, the boy squinted at him and leaned forward slightly. “Erm…” “Why are you wearing sunglasses?” “Huh?”

But Together We Have it All by HolyCatsAndRabbits, Dannye Chase (T, 3k) College student Aziraphale discovers that it might not be so bad having terrible roommates if he’s got a handsome fellow student offering the use of his couch for the night. Especially if it seems he’s got a crush on Aziraphale. Really especially if it seems he needs rescuing from his own awful roommates. A Good Omens human AU written for the Good Omens Holiday Exchange on Dreamwidth.

Poor Men by smol_bird (G, 3k) What To Do When Two of Your Professors Are Hopelessly in Love With Each Other: an instruction manual by Adam Young (featuring Pepper Moonchild because someone has to be the voice of reason here).

Snakes and Stones (Never Broke My Bones) by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee (G, 4k) “How many people don’t believe I exist?” Crowley asks in the doorway. “I’m sure no – ” Aziraphale begins, only to be cut off by Gabriel and a reluctant Newton. “Everyone.” No one wants to say it, but the residents of Dorm A, floor 3, are collectively convinced Aziraphale Fell’s boyfriend does not exist. This is their story.

Seven Minutes In Hell by AppleSeeds (T, 4k) Being trapped in a cupboard with the guy he has such an intense crush on he can hardly speak to him is bad enough, but things get even worse for Crowley when he starts having a panic attack and Aziraphale sweetly comforts and cares for him.

Hanging By a Moment by NaroMoreau (E, 5k) Sometimes the best thing is to leave. Fresh slate and all that. For Crowley, it seems like the only option, having fallen hopelessly in love with his best friend. Who, absolutely, definitely doesn't feel the same. Does he?

Miracles (Or How to Fall in Love) by hope_in_the_dark (T, 6k) “Group project,” the blond guy chirped. “We’re partners.” “Fuck,” Crowley said.

Borrowed Time by NaroMoreau (E, 6k) Meeting a stranger by chance will make Aziraphale face things he hadn't expected.

Comfort and Joy by musegnome (M, 9k) “Extra-large peppermint mocha, triple espresso, double whip!” called the barista. Crowley stepped forward and claimed his giant sugar-drenched monstrosity. The whipped cream ballooned over the rim of the paper cup, and the whole thing shed crumbles of crushed peppermint candy.  Aziraphale’s eyes widened at the sight of it. In awe? Horror? Crowley couldn’t tell.   He didn’t want to leave, not yet, but as he looked around he didn’t see an open table. Not even so much as a bar stool.   “Er – were you planning on staying?” Aziraphale asked, a little shyly. “I’ve got an extra seat.”   Written for the Good Omens OTP Prompts Event.

Raspberry Ripple by FeralTuxedo (T, 9k) Every afternoon, a man in a velvet waistcoat sits on the bench by the stone fountain and eats ice cream. Every afternoon, Crowley watches him from his office window. One day, he’ll pluck up the courage to talk to him.

Secrets by AppleSeeds (M, 10k) When their housemates invite friends around, Crowley and Aziraphale get roped into a game called 'Secrets'. Having played the game before and therefore knowing what might happen, Crowley tries to manipulate the outcome to protect Aziraphale, who is feeling pretty uncomfortable about the whole thing. By the end of the night, however, some secrets will inevitably end up being revealed, but not all of them in the way that Crowley expected.

Just Around the Corner by accidentaldemon (M, 11k) "I don't live far, if you, ya know, don't mind sharing a bed." He swallowed thickly. This was definitely not how he had planned his evening to pan out. “I’m Crowley, by the way. Well, Anthony Crowley technically, but I prefer Crowley.” “Aziraphale." - All Crowley wants to do is leave the party and go home to study. But then he meets a cute boy with absolutely angelic curls who's in desperate need of a bed for the night.

The Summoning by AppleSeeds (M, 15k) Aziraphale's horrible university housemates convince him to accompany them to an old, supposedly haunted, abbey on Halloween. He's not worried about ghosts, Aziraphale is pretty sure they don't really exist, but when his housemates send him into the toilets alone to perform a ritual that's intended to summon a demon, Aziraphale can't help but be afraid. Surely it's not that easy though. Surely a demon won't just appear because he asked it to? Will it?

i was in love (with the place in my mind) by weatheredlaw (E, 17k) There are so many things neither of them can change — how they met, the things they did, the words they said. It’s happened, it was probably always going to happen. And what it is, he can’t say, what he feels is almost too great for any one language. Inutterable, unspeakable — Ineffable.

New Approaches by FeralTuxedo (M, 19k) Aziraphale Fell, Professor of Creative Writing at Tadfield University, welcomes the attendees of the First Conference on New Approaches to Genre Fiction. Among them is keynote speaker and best-selling thriller author Anthony J. Crowley. Aziraphale has not seen him for twenty-five years. Sometimes, he can still feel the ghost of their parting kiss on his lips. Or: Exes reunite at academic conference. A Human University Professor/Author AU.

Convergent Evolution by AppleSeeds (T, 22k) Genetics PhD student Crowley meets Aziraphale at a workshop in the second year of his PhD, and they quickly become incredibly close friends. Crowley longs for there to be something more between them, but as the years go by, they seem destined to spend their careers living at opposite ends of the country. That is, until Aziraphale shows up again in Tadfield, back where their friendship began seventeen years ago, with some very exciting news.

Free Trial Boyfriend by MrsCaulfield, angelsnuffbox (T, 37k) Overall, Anthony Crowley considered himself a lucky fellow, with his good looks, good grades and a full ride swimming scholarship. There really wasn't much he can complain about. But his real struggle was that he's completely, maddeningly in love with his best friend - a strong, passionate and oblivious angel who, even after a full year of pining, still can't seem to get the hint, no matter how many times Crowley has tried to flirt with him. - Crowley would never forget the day that the angel first talked to him, for he was certain that was the day that all the clocks around the world began suddenly moving.

search terms by Vagabond (M, 43k) Aziraphale expects it to be a quiet night working in the university library when a flashy red haired, foul mouthed, panicking student needs to find credible sources for his paper and can't figure out how to use the search. Little does Aziraphale know that meeting Crowley will lead him on a path to self-discovery, and give him the family he didn't realize he needed.   From a prompt on tumblr: College AU - You’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline.

Joint Honours by FeralTuxedo (E, 43k) PhD student Aziraphale is busy enough with his studies at Tadfield University. But at the start of a new semester, his measured routine gets shaken up by the sudden responsibility of teaching, the arrival of an irresistible new house mate, and a mysteriously flirtatious sausage roll.

Angel in the Window by themaybedoctor (E, 66k) Aziraphale has the best job a young bookworm could ever hope for—he works the evening shift at an independent bookshop, just a stone's throw away from Tadfield College, where he's only a few months away from getting his degree. He likes the location in Tadfield's cosy downtown, the friendly regulars, and his coworker, Newt. But most of all, he likes having the key to the biggest treasure trove of books he's ever seen. Aziraphale knows that he's not going to make friends sitting in the dark shop at night, alone with a book and some chocolate, but that's all right. He's not lonely while he has a book, which means he's hardly lonely at all. Really. Crowley works at a record shop, and he's got the biggest crush on the cutie working at the bookshop next door. Whose name he doesn't even know, because he's too awkward to ask. At least nobody's noticed. If his co-worker Anathema found out, he'd never hear the end of it. A story about bravery, misunderstandings, acceptance, and love.

Golden Handcuffs by seekwill (E, 70k) Far from any city, near the Scottish coast, Tadfield College has a celebrated history, an unrivaled academic reputation, and two departments at war. When the Biology and English departments are forced to share a building, Senior Lecturer and botanist Anthony Crowley finds himself drawn into the orbit of the polite but strange English professor, Dr. Aziraphale Fell. As the new term begins, two academics navigate the politics of both their offices and academia, and try to solve the puzzle of one another.

[You can find more fic rec masterposts here.]

[mixtape-racha]

angel with a shotgun - k.th

part of the aria birthday series ˖°🦇ִ ࣪𖤐 (will eventually get a part 2)

words: 1k // warnings: light angst, established relationship, supernatural au, werewolf!reader

some would say kang taehyun was a villain. a scoundrel, a thief. others would say he was a bad omen. but their opinions didn’t matter - not to him anyway. the only person whose opinion meant anything was yours.

you and taehyun had been together for a little over a year, and you’d never had anything but a good word to say about him. he was your angel, your light in the dark, and your escape when home seemed too suffocating.

to you, finding taehyun when you did was nothing short of a miracle. he seemed to have made his way into your life when you needed him the most, and you’d rather be burned alive at the stake before letting him go.

finding love as a…. creature of your predicament was difficult enough. while supernatural beings were far from hidden to the human world, most still saw you as a threat. or worse, a disease to be washed out. so yeah, as a werewolf, love and relationships weren’t something your life was given in abundance.

at first, you thought taehyun was just… different. a human who wasn’t afraid, or eager to trap you. nor was he on the opposite end of the spectrum - he wasn’t one who fetishized supernatural beings, saw them as a toy to use and keep as simply a sexualized pet. and it was nice to be with someone who had no ulterior motive. a breath of fresh air.

until it wasn’t - he’d been acting strange. canceling dates last minute, never staying over when he promised to. its like he was hiding a whole part of himself from you, and it frightened you. gave you ample reason to put those protective walls back up, and disconnect yourself from romance once again.

but the worst part was how much it hurt. you truly thought taehyun was different, would be better than anyone you’d attempted to bare yourself to before. that's why after a few days of moping when he canceled yet another date, you’d decided enough was enough. if he truly wanted you, he’d need to reciprocate your energy. and if not… well, he could at least have the balls to tell you to your face.

it was creeping towards 4 in the morning on a saturday when your late night drive dragged you outside taehyun’s apartment building. you assumed it was your subconscious telling you to get answers, and you knew you had to do it eventually, so why not now? you knew he was at home and awake - the light of his balcony was on, and you could see the shadows on the tv playing.

the elevator ride up to the fifth floor filled you with dread - brain working overtime to give you visions of all the worst case scenarios that could play out. even as you approached his door and raised your fist to knock, your heart was fluttering at an alarming speed.

you knocked gently, fully aware that he had neighbors that wouldn’t appreciate being disturbed at such an unsociable hour, and tried to calm yourself before taehyun saw you in such a state.

but when the door swung open and he realized you were standing on his doorstep, he looked more surprised than you could have imagined.

“y/n? what are you doing here? … why are you out alone at this time?!”

he was quick to drag you into the apartment, the door swinging closed behind you. you cringed as it slammed, pulling your arm from taehyun’s grip as you grappled with how to go about your feelings next.

“expecting someone else? you of all people know i’m more than okay being outside alone at night, tae.”

his expression softened at your words, and it was hard to deny the butterflies you felt when he visibly relaxed and took your hands in his.

“what’s going on, hmm? talk to me.”

“i think you need to do the talking, really,” you half-smiled with a slight shrug of the shoulders. “you’ve been acting so… weird lately. did… do you wanna break up or something?”

taehyun’s eyes widened and he shook his head fast, the shock and confusion evident on his features.

“no! no, of course i don’t! why would you think that?”

you sighed, pushing away from him once more to pace across his apartment hallway.

“why? maybe because you’ve been so distant! i feel like i’m the only one putting any effort in, like you don’t want me as much as i want you.”

he lead you into the living room, gesturing for you to sit on the couch so he could explain himself, and you were more than eager to listen. anything to get answers to all the questions running through your mind lately - to put your doubts at rest.

“i’m..” he sighed, hands rubbing at his temples as he tried to formulate the words he wanted to convey. “i don’t want to mess this up, okay? i’ve been… i’ve been trying to learn more about werewolf culture. about– about your courting ways, how to track when you’re going to go into heat, what you can’t do and what will make your inner wolf happy. i want to be good to you, and i don’t want to do something wrong.”

and oh, how your heart ached at the pleading expression on his face, as if he was begging you to forgive him. when in fact, there was nothing to forgive. he had actually achieved a great step - he had officially done more for you than anyone ever had before, and you could cry with how grateful you were.

“tae.. that’s– you’re amazing. i’m so sorry for overreacting.” your eyes welled with tears and he rushed to wipe them away before they could fall, cradling your head to his chest - his heartbeat instantly calming you.

“don’t be silly, you have nothing to be sorry for, yeah? now.. since you’re here, and its so late, why don’t we head to bed?”

god, you couldn’t think of anything better.

taglist: @pretty-racha @demetrisscarf @bangtancultsposts @watariisbestboy @yevene @zuzuhasablog @popesfirstluv @zuzuhasablog @hearts4tubatu

[hot-soop]

don't let me tempt you / ch.1

pairing: angel!seokjin x angel!f.reader ⇢ au: Good Omens universe (none of the characters or the plot are mentioned so this fic can be read without knowing anything of Good Omens) ⇢ genre: forbidden romance, friends 2 lovers, comedy(?), fluff, eventual smut (not in this chapter) ⇢ summary: Seokjin is temporarily banished from Heaven and you're not all that good at paperwork. ⇢ chapter wc: 4.5k ⇢ rating: fic rating is explicit/18+ for eventual smut; chapter rating is 16 & up bc they're the equivalent of ken dolls rn, but minors please DNI anyway. This isn't for you. ⇢ chapter warnings: LOTS of religious imagery bc this is set in the Good Omens universe and there's gonna be a bunch of biblical references, but please remember that this isn't meant to be accurate. Author is an atheist. Author did next to no research on calendars that pre-date the Georgian one bc she is lazy and can't do maths. Swearing. If there's any tags you think I'm missing, please let me know - I'd hate to be the cause of any upset or discomfort <3 ⇢ a/n: thank u to my beloveds @the-boy-meets-evil and @ugh-yoongi for reading this over and thinking my babies are cute. thank u to my angel @effortandmore for your encouragement! Ur all cute too. Ily

1106 BC

Time in 1106 BC follows some kind of construct that the author has not deemed necessary to research, but if the Georgian calendar (or indeed days of the week) had been invented, the day our story begins would be in mid April, on a Tuesday, around 3pm. 

The weather in Heaven is, as you would expect, perfect. The company is not.

“Sorry to bring you in here like this,” you say, as the thirteenth angel of the day takes a seat on the other side of your desk.

There’s a spiel to this. Angels have a tendency to lean towards the dramatic, so you’ve learned the ways of ‘softening the blow’, as the humans call it. Doling out God’s punishments wasn’t your preferred assignment, but it’s the role that was dropped in your lap after you quit the last - and you’re not in a position to refuse Her again. Here goes another. 

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news but-”

“Let me guess,” the other angel interjects. “She’s demoting me?”

This is unusual. The angels know God’s wrath, but they’re usually surprised to find out when said wrath is directed toward them specifically. Not this one, he’s sitting there, arms crossed, foot tapping impatiently, waiting for you to rip off the bandaid. 

“Uhh. A temporary banishment actually.”

He stares at you. “It was only a little miracle.” 

“Three very large miracles, I’ll have you know. We’re not supposed to be bringing people back from the dead anymore.”

“Since when?” he asks, rather like a petulant human toddler. 

You frown. “Since protocol changed - didn’t you read the memo?” The angel shakes his head. “God’s decided to save those types of miracles for someone really special in-” You pause to check your watch “- a thousand years, give or take a century.” 

“Special how?” The angel asks, sitting up a little straighter. 

“You know we’re not told details of The Great Plan.” You flip the file shut. “Well, it seems like you know the issue at hand, and there’s little else to discuss-”

There’s a look of unease creeping over his assigned face that gives you pause. His fingertips drum on his knee. Too human for a heavenly body. “Are you alright?”

“She’s not- they’re not going to cut-”

“Oh! Goodness no,” you’re quick to reassure. “Oh no, you’d have to do something really awful for that, like, question her authority like Lucifer did.” His laugh comes out like a bark, and you’re confused because it wasn’t a joke. “No, but I am terribly sorry to say that you’re being sentenced to four-hundred years on Earth.”

He blinks twice. “Excuse me?”

“Four-hundred years - horrid, I know. But God does say the punishment must fit the deed-”

You’re interrupted again, this time by the kind of laughter that starts as disbelief and quickly has his shoulders shaking and tears rolling down his cheeks. Most unusual. 

“You’re telling me I get to spend near half a century on Earth?”

“What do you mean ‘get to’?” The thought of even spending ten years in such a place sends shivers right through your wings. “You won’t be able to return to heaven at all during that time. No correspondence with anyone, unless of course we contact you first.” He’s positively glowing and you can’t understand it. “You’ll have to live amongst humans-”

He’s standing now, moving to the screen and zooming in on earth. “Can I pick where?”

You move to stand next to him. He’s zoomed in so far, you can’t quite tell where it’s supposed to be. In truth, you spend very little time looking over God’s preferred planet, choosing instead to focus on the vastness of the universe in all its glory. You prefer the stars and the galaxies and all of their colours. 

“May I?”

“Sorry, I don’t understand.”

“Can I choose where to live? Will I have a role?” 

There’s nothing like this in the training manual. No one ever has these questions. They’re too busy crying, wailing for another chance to stay in heaven, let alone look excited as this one does. 

“I suppose you could,” you say slowly. “And no - there’s no role.” You wait for the penny to drop, but he doesn’t seem to get it. “Pointlessness is the point of this sentence.”

Wonder breaks out in his expression, and he turns back to the screen and zooms in on a peninsular you’ve never noticed before. “Can you drop me here?”

“Where’s here?”

“Gojoseon.”

“Why?” 

“Good people.” His smile spreads wide. “Good food.”

You gasp. “You’ve consumed their provisions? You’ve eaten?”

He looks at you in shock. “You haven’t?”

Of course you flaming haven’t! Even if you could stomach it - how in heaven would you get the opportunity to dine on Earth, what with all the work piling up in your pigeonhole and the lack of angels rights to paid time off, not to mention a union?

Your expression must say it all because he laughs again and says, “Well then visit me sometime, I’ll cook for you.” 

“You’re very peculiar.”

“Yes,” he says with a shrug. “I get that a lot.” 

You move back over to the desk to complete the rest of the paperwork while he stands there, still looking at the map with a satisfied smile.

After a few moments, he says, “I’ll need a name if I’m to live with humans.”

You find his given name at the top of the page. Soterasiel. 

“What’s wrong with the one you’ve got?”

He shrugs again. “Doesn’t quite roll off the tongue for everyone.”

“I hear John is rather popular these days,” you muse, still checking boxes. “And Abraham. Or what about Jos-”

“Seokjin.”

“Bless you.”

“No, I mean- Seokjin.” He moves to sit back down. You don’t quite like it, the way he walks, like he’s got a bravado he hasn’t done anything to earn - rather the opposite in fact, given his grievous error in judgement. “That’s my new name.” 

“Oh-” You glance up at him. “It suits you.”

Seokjin beams. He’s quiet for the next few moments, but you can sense his eagerness as he watches your fingertip move down the page. When all the documents are signed, you show him over to the chute, and he peers into it.

“This is the one-way?” 

You nod. “We’ll send someone to relieve you once your sentence is up.”

He steps inside without hesitation, and it’s almost too late. You've been itching with curiosity since you opened his file, so you blurt out exactly what you’re not supposed to ask.

“Why did you do it?”

Seokjin tilts his head, confused.

“Why did you bring those humans back from the dead?” you clarify.

His eyes soften. “They’re my favourites.” 

There’s a pregnant pause as you regard him. You don’t understand. Favourites? Angels aren’t supposed to have favourites. Angels aren’t supposed to be anything like him. Maybe you haven’t met enough to speak on the matter.

“Come visit me, won’t you? I get the impression you’ll like it down there.”

And before you can scoff at the very idea of visiting a banished (albeit temporarily) angel on earth, the chute opens up below him and he’s gone.

It’s difficult to get back to work after all that. All day there are punishments to give out in God’s name, but thankfully they’re nothing as extreme as that one. You get through a few sanctions, several warnings filed, and a strongly worded letter to the Department of Animals to remind them to stop creating wasps (apparently earth has enough) and then (at what would usually be known as 6pm), like clockwork, Turiel enters your office. 

He’s another one you can’t get a read on, but in an entirely different way. He came up the ranks quickly, and became your boss without the necessary qualifications within a single century. He’s kind of course, but he’s a Watcher, so naturally he watches everything. Being watched makes you uncomfortable. 

“How is everything?”

“Wonderful, thank you.”

“What happened with the banishment this morning?”

“With Seok- Soterasiel? He took it rather well.” Turiel stares at you, and you clear your throat to fill the awkward quiet. “Seemed quite happy about it, actually.”

Turiel frowns. “That’s odd.”

“Yes, quite.”

“We should watch that one,” he says, already making his way out. “Oh- you remembered to strip his miracles, correct?”

Strip his- why in heaven would you do that? It seems horribly cruel enough just to leave them there, let alone take their ability to do anything worthwhile. 

“Sorry?”

Turiel stops on the spot and turns, frown deepening further. “Tell me you saw the memo from Metatron? We’re to strip any and all banishments of their miracles going forward. Too many mishaps and too many angel turned demon that still have their powers.”

If you had any blood in your face it would surely drain. No, you haven’t seen any blasted memo. The pigeonhole is stuffed to burst and it’s something you’ve been meaning to work through, you truly have, but there’s so little time in the day and- and- heavens, he’s still staring at you. Tell him the truth. Tell him you didn’t take Seokjin’s miracles. They’d overlook one error, especially as it’s the first offence. Surely?

“No need to worry,” you hear yourself say, voice unnaturally high. “Of course I did.” 

Turiel blinks, smiles with relief, and shuts the door behind him as he leaves.

For the first time in your existence, you’re tempted to curse. 

879 BC

6:43pm. Patchy rain showers through til 8.

Seokjin’s home looks like nothing. A shack at best. It’s hardly worthy of the name home but you still need his sodding permission to cross the threshold, so you knock and wait, huddling as close to the door as possible to keep dry. As the rain pelts your back you bitterly wonder why angels have to wait at the threshold for permission to enter. It’s utterly beyond you, surely such a restraint could be reserved for those who are up to no good?

(You pointedly ignore the little voice saying that you are actually up to no good.)

“Oh my God,” Seokjin says when he opens the door (if it weren’t for the threshold force you’d keel over) and your nose wrinkles automatically at the blasphemy. “It’s you.”

“May I come in?” you say, too busy watching for Watchers in your peripherals to take in the sight of the angel in front of you. It would be terrible to be caught now, after the web of lies you weaved in order to get an hour off work. 

“Why?” he asks, suspicion lacing his voice. “You’re not bringing me back early are you?”

“Oh heavens no,” you say, starting to feel a little desperate, pushing the wet hair from your eyes. “I forgot something in your documents, a quick signature and I’ll be off in a jiffy.”

“You forgot something?”

“Yes-” 

“And you decided two hundred and twenty-seven years later was the right time to fix that?”

“Time slips away when you’re working!” 

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Your lot really need to unionise.”

“Shh!” you hiss. “Let me in, please?”

“Alright, alright,” he says, stepping aside. “Come on in. Take your shoes off at the door.”

“I don’t have shoes,” you say as you push past him. A little miracle as soon as you’re out of the rain has you dry and warm again. What a pity, you think, that Seokjin will have to live without these little perks for the rest of his banishment. The sympathy you feel for him catches you unawares.  “What are shoes?”

Seokjin smiles. “Thought you were a watcher?”

Part Cherubim part Virtue actually, but you won’t be telling Seokjin that. That’s between you and God. You bustle past him inside the shack and you can finally relax. All protocols are being broken right now, but with the teeny tiny miracle that you performed earlier, only you and Seokjin will know about this clandestine meeting.  

Seokjin’s home is much nicer on the inside. Rather homely. And clean. And it smells good. What is that smell? 

“I just made some tea, would you like a cup?” 

Drinking? Apparently you can’t hide your expression because Seokjin's responding smile is mirthful. “Haven’t changed much, have you?”

“I suppose not, no.”

There’s no time to dilly dally like this. If you’re not back in the office soon, there’ll be questions you won’t know how to answer without twisting the truth. An angel can’t be going around telling lies. It’s uncouth. 

Seokjin busies himself at the table while you unroll the documents. The scroll is horribly long, but eventually you find the line you missed all those years ago. You cough to get his attention, and he looks up and takes the scroll from your outstretched hand. 

But then he starts to read. Oh goodness gracious. You hadn’t expected that. He seemed the sort that wouldn’t get hung up on the details, that would trust an angel (one like yourself in particular) implicitly. It’s offensive, actually, that he doesn’t trust that you’re not trying to pull the wool over his eyes, even though that might be exactly what you were trying to do. Are you not trustworthy? Are you not angelic?

Seokjin frowns. Uh oh. 

“You’re taking my miracles?”

“Uh-”

“Why?”

“Well- uh. It’s protocol, you see.”

Seokjin stares. The silence is palpable.

“You fucked up.”

You gasp. “Don’t curse!”

“You did!” he says, eyes wild. “You fucked up when you sent me down here!”

There’s heat creeping up your neck.

“It really doesn’t need to be such a big to-do,” you splutter. “Just sign the form, and I’ll be on my way and then you’ll be back in Heaven in no time at all!”

“But I won’t have my miracles?”

“You’ll get them back on your return!” 

“What if I need them?”

“You won’t.”

“I’ve needed them a lot, actually,” Seokjin insists. “You’ve no idea how many sticky situations I’ve been in thanks to all the creatures our Heavenly Mother made!”

“Oh!” you exclaim. “Have you seen a tiger yet? Those are my favourite.”

Seokjin looks like he might slap you.

The door opens.

“Seokjinie-hyung! We’re back!”

We? Who’s we?

We are three men, one short, one tall, and one somewhere in the middle. 

The room is very suddenly too small and too quiet as all of you stare at each other. 

The small one’s eyes, wide and curious, dart between you and Seokjin. 

“Who’s this, Seokjin hyung?”

“Uh-” you say.

“Uhh-” says Seokjin.

You can’t think of a human name. Not a single, blasted one comes to mind. Of course, humans know angels exist, but you can’t go around telling everyone who you are when you’re not exactly here on official business. Their mouths blabber too much. Word on Earth gets around faster than in Heaven.

“This is-”

“Oh my God-” the somewhere-in-the-middle one exclaims, while you grimace. “You’re that angel hyung told us about!”

You turn to glare at Seokjin, who is all of sudden very interested in the wood grain on the table. His ears are strawberry red. Strawberries were one of your ideas, you’d know that colour anywhere.

“You told them?” you say, incredulously. “What were you thinking?”

Seokjin sighs. “They’re not going to say anything.”

“Yeah!” the small one says. “Don’t worry, we’ve kept Seokijn hyung’s secret for two cent-”

He’s cut off by a loud cough from the tall one, but you’re not stupid. Humans aren’t supposed to be alive that long anymore, not since The Great Flood when God finally got sick of Noah and his bothersome family - that was one of the few memos you read. 

“Seokjin-” you say slowly. He’s pointedly looking everywhere else but your face. “Are these the same humans you told me about during our first meeting?”

The small one grins. “Oh hyung, I knew you loved us more than you let on.”

Two centuries they’ve been alive - at least. Oh Goodness. You need to report it, but how could you without telling them you didn’t do your job properly. 

“You don’t need to say anything to Heaven,” Seokjin says. “What they don’t know doesn’t hurt them.”

“The protocol-” you start, but you’re cut off by a groan.

“Fuck the protocol! Don’t you want to think for yourself for once? Didn’t She give us free will for a reason?”

“She gave them free will, not us!” you reason. “We’re to do as we’re told!”

“Why? What for?”

“The Great Plan!”

“The Great Plan-” he parrots in the most condescending tone. “-is supposed to be ineffable. If we knew what was in it, we wouldn’t have a choice. If I didn’t have free will, I wouldn’t have been able to turn them into vampires.”

You frown, confused. Vampires weren’t in the handbook, but then you never could keep up. “What’s a vampire?”

Seokjin swallows thickly. “Uh. Nevermind that. The point is, if this wasn’t in The Great Plan, if it wasn’t written, would I have even been able to do it?”

The thought gives you pause. He’s got a point, actually. The Archangels talk often of fate and destiny and what She wrote. No one knows the plan, of course, and it can change at Her will, but the whole point of this charade is that you’re all to trust in God’s Plan, regardless of what happens.

There’s a long moment of silence. The three men- or rather, vampires- are still just standing there watching the two of you argue. 

The small one finally breaks the tension and introduces himself. “I’m Jimin,” he says.

You nod, and give your name. He repeats it, butchering the pronunciation, but of course you expected that. Humans have never quite managed to get their tongue around it. You muse for a moment if you should give yourself a more human name, like Seokjin, but your thoughts are interrupted by the large one. 

“I’m Namjoon,” he says, and points to the last one, who gives a tentative wave. “This is Taehyung.”

You nod again, and start to feel a little ridiculous.

Okay, so the plan needs to be adjusted. You can’t take away Seokjin’s miracles without getting him to undo whatever he did to the human-vampires. 

“How long have you all been alive?” 

Namjoon glances at Seokjin, who nods. “Around three hundred years.”

“Okay,” you say. “And do you plan on dying any time soon?”

The three of them stare at you. “It’s not something we’d considered, no,” whispers Jimin. 

“Right,” you say, and then turn to Seokjin. “You need to fix this, make them human again. I’ve got to go, they’ll be looking for me, but I’ll be back soon to check in on you so you’d better have done it by then.”

Seokjin’s Adam's apple bobs in his throat. It’s… somewhat pleasant to look at.

“Pleasure to meet you everyone,” you say tightly to Seokjin’s friends. “Enjoy the rest of your lives.”

You catch their confused expressions shift into something horrified before you appear back at your desk in Heaven. It leaves you befuddled. That was a perfectly pleasant first interaction with humans that are aware of your celestial-ness - you’re not quite sure what they could be so bothered about.

827 BC

Early Autumn. 8:12am. Current Earthly conditions: foggy

It’s another fifty years or so before you can catch a break long enough to get back down to Earth. The shack has improved drastically - quite the pleasant looking home in fact. There’s flower boxes on the windowsills that are covered in a light morning dew, but the plants seem hardy. Purples and yellows. Dainty looking little things. You wonder what they might be. 

The door opens as you bend to smell them, and you look up to find the angel wrapped up in the largest item of clothing you’ve ever seen for something that just seems to be used for a neck. It’s ever so bright. Mismatched colours and patterns that don’t seem to line up. One end of it drags along the floor. Seokjin doesn’t appear too pleased to see you. 

“What are you wearing?” you ask, amused.

“Taehyung made me a scarf.”

“It’s very big.”

Seokjin glares.

“Did you really come to ruin my life so early in the morning?”

You roll your eyes. “You’re immortal. I hardly doubt this little blip will destroy you. More like God would if you don’t pull it together.”

“I could say the same about you.”

He’s got you there. But as you hold his gaze something in the air shifts, and he reluctantly lets you in. This time you take his offer of a cup of tea. You take a tentative sip, and it warms your belly in such an unexpected way. The weight of the cup is heavy in your hand, and the warmth of it seeps into your palm. It’s rather nice. 

You sit at the same table he had fifty-something years ago. There’s a few more marks in the woodwork by now. 

“Shall we get it over with then?” he says. “Where do I need to sign?”

You stop his hastiness with a gentle touch to his arm. He stares at your hand.

 “Did you get everything in order first?” you ask.

Seokjin coughs. “Yes, of course.” 

His ears are strawberry red again. The colour really is pretty, you’re glad you chose it. You’re glad you see it in other things, even if they are the tips of this angel’s ears. 

“They’re dead?”

“Not yet,” he says, lips twisting bitterly around the words. “They’re living out the rest of their lives. You might get a chance to see them, if you stay awhile. They said they’d be popping by later.”

“Oh,” you say, surprised. “Well, I suppose that’s something. You know, I am really sorry about that. I thought about it after my last visit, and I think I understand now why you’d want to keep your friends around for longer.” 

“Feeling lonely up there?” he asks, voice gentler than usual.

“No!” You snort with (only slightly put on) derision. “Of course not. Too busy for such a thing as loneliness.”

He chuckles. “Maybe I wasn’t busy enough then.”

You ignore what feels like a thimbleful of sadness dropping into your stomach.

Seokjin does most of the talking while you drink your tea. He talks about what he does down here - cooking mostly, but also a little pottery. He’s been training under a man called Yoongi. Says he made the cups you’re holding, and you inspect them. They’re quite ugly, thick and uneven- and you’re about to say as such, but Seokjin looks proud, so you smile and tell him he did very well, and that you like the colour of the clay. You wish you could bottle the way he beams.

All too soon the tea is finished, and Seokjin signs the document. It’s done. His eyes still shine, if a little less bright now. 

“What now?” he asks.

You suck in a breath. “Your miracles are in trust until your return to Heaven. Until then you can live as a human. More or less.”

His eyes snap up. “I’m still immortal, right?”

“Oh of course,” you say with a laugh. “You think they’d go through all this trouble just to risk you being eaten by a giraffe?”

“Do you know anything about Earth?” Seokjin says it like you’re an idiot. “At all?”

You’re tempted to roll your eyes. “I know plenty-”

“Name one thing,” he interrupts, crossing his arms and looking at you with an almost amused expression. 

You draw your shoulders back. You’ll give him three. “It weighs five point nine-seven septillion kilograms.”

Seokjin blinks three times fast. You must’ve caught him off guard with your knowledge. Good.

“It’s made up of thirty-two point one percent iron, fifteen point one percent silic-”

“Alright,” Seokjin says, lips twisting into a small smile. “I get it. You don’t need to prove yourself.”

You grin, ever so pleased with yourself, and Seokjin laughs.

“You’re cute.”

“What?”

“Cute,” he repeats. “It’s a compliment.”

“Oh,” you say, wondering why reciting facts from the Earth’s handbook would warrant a compliment on your character. “Okay…” You look down at your mug and see it’s empty and you’re struck with a surprising pang of disappointment. The tea was really rather good, it’s something of a pity as you realise you won’t be able to make it the same back in Heaven.

“Well, I’d better get going. Paperwork to do. Miracles to take.”

“Of course,” says Seokjin, and stands to see you off. “If you visit again will you let me know in advance?”

“Why?”

“I’ll make dinner.”

You smile without thinking. “I don’t eat, Seokjin.”

“You know,” he says, in a very matter of fact tone. “Despite the fact that every time we meet you’re taking away something of mine, I’m growing quite fond of our meetings.”

You blink. 

His eyes are so big and gentle and- “Let me know- okay?” he says with earnest.

“Okay,” you promise, already wondering when you could possibly get away long enough to watch Seokjin eat dinner.

“Would you like to take some flowers with you?” he asks suddenly. “I saw you smelling them.”

“Oh! Ye-” you start, and then you think better of it. So you plaster on a smile and say “No, that’s quite alright, I can whip some of my own up in no time at all.”

Seokjin nods. He looks like he’s going to say something else, but time is getting on and you’re not used to these odd goodbye rituals the humans (and this angel in particular) seem so fond of, so with a flash of a smile you’re back in Heaven. Seokjin and his lovely brown eyes remain on Earth. 

Your office looks so bland in comparison to Seokjin's home.

It takes a second to notice that the cup he gave you is still in your hand, remnants of the sweet tea drying on the bottom. You briefly consider going back down, just to hand it over and say goodbye properly, but in walks Turiel to squash any ideas you have about leaving your post again.

“Great, you’re finally back,” he says, dumping a stack of files on your desk. “We’re swamped.”

“What happened?” you exclaim. You’re barely able to see him over the pile. 

“Some bright spark in Organisms made a new virus. Let it loose in Greece without proper authorisation, killed half of them,” he says with a frustrated sigh. “The higher ups are fretting because one of the dead ones was supposed to be a prophet.”

Oh dear.

Turiel leaves without display. No time for pleasantries like offerings of tea and flowers up here. You sigh, dejected. 

Being around Seokjin makes you wistful for things you didn’t know you wanted. You set the mug on your desk, turning it to and fro so you get a view of the prettier side- and with the smallest of miracles, there grows delicate flowers, in purple and yellow.

[hevexns-realm]

Introducing -

Nazo, for the triple stars AU!!

(Info beyond art piece!)

Nazo is 21 years old in this AU, and is the backup vocalist and guitarist for an upcoming rock band called

“bad omens”

He’s usually the more reserved type when it comes to being on stage, but is actually quite sweet towards his fans.

He’s actually the fan favorite of the band. Why? Well, outside the dashing good looks and being the boyfriend of the main vocalist and a famous bar singer known as “Lady I”.

He actually sang one song amongst the whole album, and his backup vocals can be heard amongst on a few other songs.

His song? Bad decisions (by the actual bad omens band!)

Most noteable backup vocals? Miracle (by the actual bad omens band! Mainly the start and first half of the vocals!)

Yeah, these two songs are what got the band to the top of the charts, outside of just pretend, and also made him the fan favorite!

Now, Nazo is well aware of eggman’s allegations. Mainly because of the fact he had a friend work for him, and it was absolute hell. So you better believe that once eggman contacted them, he lawyered the hell up with the best lawyers money can buy. (He’s already rich enough from not only his family, but because of how well the album sold!)

The original triple stars AU belongs to @triple-starsss, give them some love!! 🖤🖤

(and before y’all ask, yes, I did ask if this was okay, and they said it was fine!)

(I also don’t know how to use the triple star tag on my phone, so bear with me! ^^||)

[beaker1636]

Hello everyone! I’m Bree and this is my little corner of the internet! I write for Motionless In White primarily but also Bad Omens and Black Veil Brides! I am open to smut, fluff and angst! I try to post requests and updates as quick as I can but it sometimes takes awhile because I am a full time teacher and a mom! If you have any questions just ask :) even if it’s just because you want to ask me a random one like a favorite color or something, I love getting asked things and talking to all of you! My master list is in this post below, hope you all enjoy!

Side note, I created a tag “#bree sucks at fanfiction” as a joke but now it’s the easiest way to find and search for all my fics because I always tag everything that 🤣

Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Thank you @ladyveronikawrites for helping me make my masterlist pretty and creating the Motionless In White and Bad Omens headings for me 🥰

Key:

Smut: 🔥

Fluff: 💕

Angst: 💧

Chris

Halloween Surprise 💕

Christmas Miracle 💕

Christmas Miracle pt. 2 💕

Fight and Make Up 🔥

Fireworks 🔥

Mic Stand 🔥

Busted 🔥

NSFW Alphabet 🔥

Donors Wanted Masterlist 💧🔥💕

Vinny

First Date 💕

First Kiss 💕

Roomate 💕

Lying To My Family 💕

First Christmas 💕

Bad Day 💕

There For You 💕💧

Christmas Lights 💕

A New Year's Kiss 💕

Caught 💕

Streaming 🔥

Streaming Pt. 2 🔥

Streaming Pt. 3 🔥

Finally Home 🔥

Masquerade 🔥

Stress Relief 🔥

Playful Kiss (Smut and Fluff) Proposal 🔥💕

Baby It's Cold Outside College AU 🔥

NSFW Alphabet 🔥

Ricky

Drunken Kisses 💕

Love At First Meeting Pt. 1 💕

Love At First Meeting Pt. 2 💕

The Scavenger Hunt (Multi Part) 💕

Coming Home 💧

I'll Be Home For Christmas 💧

A Love Reunited 🔥

Rainy Day 🔥

NSFW Alphabet 🔥

Ryan

Engagement 💕

Snowball Fight 💕

Single Lyrics (Multiple Parts) 💕💧

Car accident 💧

Let's Get Deep ft. Justin 🔥

Justin

Tour Confessions 💕

Baby's First Christmas 💕

Good Girls Get Presents 🔥

Whole Band

The Alphabet Game 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Headcanons/ Preferences

Meeting Their Family For The First Time

How You Met/ Realizing They Liked You

How They’d Comfort You After A Loss

How You Met

Noah

Unexpected Visitor 💕

Accidents Happen 🔥

Tied Up 🔥

Stress Relief 🔥

Sweet Dreams 🔥

Nicholas

Permanent Mark 🔥

Nick

Jolly

Headcannons/ Preferences

How You Met

[copias-sewer-rat]

Against the forces of Heaven and Hell, just us.

PART 1|PART 2|

What does really mean to fall? As an angel that question wasn’t unfamiliar to you. Moreover, you have been questioning the heavenly gospel for a very long time. It all started when you met a human-loving demon and ever since then you had strayed from heaven’s path.

⸸tags: Good Omens AU, no serious tw (for now) but maybe sexual innuendos and foul language, around 4.5K words, Copia goes by he/they and the angel has no pronouns so it fits everyone who reads. Hope you enjoy this first chapter!

⸸ my masterlist ⸸

⸸ read it on Ao3 ⸸

I. ENJOY THE SILENCE

“Tis one thing to be tempted, Escalus, another thing to fall.”

William Shakespeare - Measure for Measure

----

18/8/2023

'There is something beautiful about demons. You might think it is ineffable, but I’ve had enough time to think, to know what is so special about them, let me tell you. Mainly, they get to experience all the pleasures that humans create for themselves without any sort of negative consequence. Exquisite food and refreshing beverages are those pleasures that we angels can indulge in but can never take too far. Demons can also enjoy the sin of the flesh without repercussion -not that I am interested, just curious…- Demons get all that, but we get to love and trust God, and that is more than enough. I have no doubt about God’s love, but humans portray the enjoyment of another one’s body in such a pure way it makes me a tad jealous.'

----

You put your diary down, not really sure how to continue something like that. You decide to focus on something else. The painting before you is mesmerizing. The Kiss, by Francesco Hayez, portrays the most tender embrace between a man and a woman. The image is still, but you swear that you can see the man gently caressing the face of his lover, and the woman trying to put her hands around the man’s neck. The painting was part of a temporary exhibition. It was brought from Milan to the Galeria degli Uffizi in Firenze-or Florence as English people say-. There is where you spend most of your time, contemplating your existence as an immortal and holy being.

Looking at the picture, you begin to reminisce about how your love and understanding of human art and knowledge, and as a result of humans themselves, had started in the first place. Your arrival to Earth had been long ago, exactly the day when the Great Library of Alexandria had burned down in 48 BC. The pain for all the knowledge lost was enough to make you come down from heaven, but it was too late. You had been interested in humans for a while. Curious about those creatures God had created so long ago in her image. However, your appreciation of humans was always done from the distance of your heavenly office.

The Library of Alexandria was an astonishing building, so enormous in size and in meaning. Formed by structures of white and grey stone with beautiful engravings, all of it surrounded by a luscious garden and the glorious city of Alexandria itself. It was the place the humans had erected to keep their precious knowledge for all eternity. So, when you saw the fire start, you had no choice but to come down. You had gone down to Earth without permission. The punishment would be severe but nothing compared to what you were feeling by seeing those flames. It was knowledge being destroyed without salvation, you had to do something, and maybe that thought alone made you a bit selfish. Despite that, not even a miracle could help restore so much without being too obvious.

Not everything was bad that day, however. There, between the clouds of smoke and the heat from the flames you had met your very first demon. For sure, it would have been a negative experience if it hadn’t been for him. They stood there, in the exact middle of the library, looking everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Their beauty was ethereal and androgynous, which felt a bit dangerous. Their hair, long, wavy and soft brown fell gracefully over their shoulders. Also, two locks of hair on the top of his hair were raised as if to give the impression that he had horns, bold choice. Lastly, he wore a black tunic, which was very fitting for a demon. The demonic look was completed by pointy ears and a couple of mismatched eyes, one white and one green and… freckles. They were very light but also distributed throughout the whole face and making it look like a map of the night sky. But that wasn’t all. It seemed that the demon had smeared some of the ash on his eyes, maybe as some kind of human disguise that you didn’t understand, or even to celebrate his demonic deed.

You were about to blame him for the fire until you noticed the look on his face. He seemed tired and in distress. A pain equal to yours for the loss of words, art and knowledge.

“I assume this wasn’t your doing? Judging by your expression…” The demon suddenly turned to you, a bit taken aback. He hadn’t noticed your presence until that very instant, and for sure they weren’t expecting an angel.

“N-no, i- it wasn’t. But it wasn’t a human act either.” - You did not know that demons stuttered…- He looked down and you could swear you could hear the cogs turning in his head.

“You then believe this despicable act to have been caused by another demon?” He shook his head. “Not exactly. If this had been planned or acted by my kind, I would have known.”

“Are you insinuating this was a plan from my side? Preposterous! It is impossible. God would never allow something like this to happen!” The demon chuckled bitterly at your words.

“You haven’t been down here a lot, huh, angel?” He savoured that last word as if he hadn’t said it in a long time. It was your time to shake your head. “God and her archangels like to do things like these from time to time, or even allow them to happen, just to test humans and have some fun.” You could not believe your ears. You hadn’t read anything of the sort while in heaven.

“How do I know you are not lying to me? Why put that ash around your eyes if it is not to disguise yourself?” The demon rose an eyebrow at your accusation.

“Ash? What are you-?” He touched his eyes and looked at his long-nailed fingers. “Oh… I hadn’t even noticed. It was so anguishing here during the fire… I tried to save everything I could, but some of the scrolls broke on my hands. Maybe I smeared the ash on my eyes without noticing…” He looked defeated, but still gave you a toothy smile. His fangs were big and shiny. You felt your cheeks heat a bit… weird.

“Ahem. Well, if it is any consolation… I believe you, demon. But I do NOT believe that this was heaven’s doing.” The demonic creature tilted their head.

“Stay a bit longer on Earth, angel. Then you will see.” You were surprised at their suggestion. They probably could see it too because you heard a chuckle.

“Are you trying to tempt me?” The demon fully laughed at your question.

“Clearly not, angel. Do you find Earth tempting by any chance?”

“It is not like that. But obviously Earth is where temptations and sin become a reality, you could be planning something.” You scoffed. They smiled at your words and for the first time, you could truly see that their demonic nature.

“Then we are lucky that you seem to be such a… pure and incorruptible angel…” An awkward cough escaped your lips, but your eyes could not leave the demon’s mismatched ones. You thought to yourself that he didn’t know you, that you didn’t know what you are capable of yourself, and that scared you a bit. You decided to put up the front of the perfect angel and keep the conversation going.

“I should get back, there is a lot of paperwork waiting for me… after this… But even if I did accept to stay here… I wouldn’t trust anybody who is so rude that they don’t even introduce themselves in the first place.” The nameless demon snorted at your comment, made a deep but gentle reverence and looked back at you.

“The name’s Copia. What about you, angel?” You told them your name and they hummed. “Bel nome. It suits you.”

“What was that?”

“Mm? Oh! Italian. It is a language that some humans will start speaking in a few centuries, it is my favourite one, so I am learning it in advance.” That was endearing. He was interested in human culture as you were, even more, if that was possible.

“I think I will hang out on Earth for a bit, then… I will ask for a transfer, I know an angel in the heavenly administration that owes me a favour. Maybe I can investigate what’s going on, and learn a thing or two about humans.” Copia nodded.

“Angel, you won’t regret it, I assure you. Humans are the most delectable little creatures. I would also like to know the reason for the fire. Maybe we can even work together.” Suddenly the demon Copia was right beside you, nudging at your side.

“What a crazy idea! We belong to different sides. Neither of them would allow something like that!” To your words, Copia exhaled exaggeratedly.

“You would be surprised to know how little do hell and heaven actually care about what happens here.” You turned to look at him with a brow raised.

“That I cannot believe. Heaven cares a great deal about the humans, I have read about it.” Copia crossed his arms, as if about to lecture you.

“Antagonizing hell and caring for humans are two different things, angel. Heaven and hell only want to be on top, like greedy lovers who secretly hate one another but cannot stop fucking. It is a game of power, humans are only the pawns.” You blushed at his choice of words.

“What are you saying, demon?”

“I am saying that there are beings like you and me that love humans because they are deeply interesting and complex, but that is not the norm. I would like it to be though.” Me too, you thought. You also thought about the nature of the demon right in front of you. He was so different to those you had heard about up in heaven. You were told they were arrogant and selfish creatures, but Copia didn’t seem like either of those things.

“How do you know so much? Who are you?” To your question, Copia gave you a guttural laugh.

“That is a conversation for another time I am afraid, angel. After all, we just met. I cannot give away all my secrets on our first encounter.” You felt your cheeks heat again as the demon’s eyes glistened with an emotion that you didn’t couldn’t quite place yet.

You hadn’t noticed, but during your conversation with Copia there had been black clouds forming above you, and then something started to fall. You extended your hand and grabbed what seemed to be floating flakes.

“Do you know what is this, Copia?”

“Well, humans would call it snow. Which is very cold, previously-condensed water falling to the Earth. But this isn’t it. This is ash from the fire, a reminder of my failure.”

“You did not fail… you couldn’t have known.” You were surprised by your compassionate tone. You were having compassion for a demon.

“Thank you for the kind words, but I do not deserve them. I am a demon, remember?” It was like they just read your mind.

“It is taking me a bit to actually believe that, Copia. And snow sounds beautiful, I wish I could see the real deal.” You smiled at him.

“You will someday, angel. I am sure.” There was a somber aura to his tone, as if he wasn’t entirely sure about it but wanted to believe that it would happen nonetheless.

As the flakes continued to fall, both of you were starting to get covered in ash. The feeling on your skin was not an unwelcome one, it felt soft and gentle. You touched your arm, taking all the flakes that had fallen there and making a trail on your skin. Copia looked at you with an amused look. Then, you looked at your ash-coated fingers and thought of something. You turned so Copia could not look at your face. The ash was easy to manipulate, dark and velvety, and in an instant you had copied Copia’s ‘eye makeup’. With a twirl of your feet, you showed the demon your new look and he rose his eyebrows.

“How do I look?” You said adorably cupping your face.

“With all honesty, I don’t think it is too flattering on you, angioletto.” You smiled.

“I imagined so. You looked so cool, I wanted to give it a shot.”

“Cool, huh… I guess it adds to the demonic look.”

“It is more than that, I think. It accentuates your eyes, gives them depth and character.” You stepped closer, getting on your tiptoes, trying to prove the statement to yourself. Copia rose his eyebrows again. There was also a small tint of pink on his cheeks.

“I-in any case. I think is time for me to go.”

“Oh… then wait for just a second.” Very gently you took a carcass of a scroll that was at your feet, put your hand over it and miracled it back to its original state. It was a tiny miracle, nobody would notice. “We cannot do this with the whole library sadly, but not everything is lost, Copia. There is always hope, and we will find out why this happened.” You handed him the scroll, it seemed to be a poem, but you were not sure of what. Copia gave you a puzzled look. “Have this as a memento, as a reminder to keep loving humans, no matter what.”

Copia extended his hand and grabbed the scroll. You were sure that it was an accident but his fingers brushed yours, just for a second. You felt the heat of his skin, and even for a moment, it felt intoxicating. That is when it all began for you, since then you became obsessed with the human idea of connection and all its derivatives.

Copia took the scroll and hugged it tightly.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“That is perfectly fine, Copia.”

You smiled, said your goodbyes to them and left.

----

The leader of your heavenly section was pissed, but ultimately they let you get off with only a warning. They didn’t even notice the miracle. It was then time to visit the administrative section of heaven that was in charge of assigning angels to Earth. It was a section that not many visited, most did not want to spend time there. For a second, you remembered your conversation with Copia. How he had told you that heaven and hell didn’t care at all. Maybe he was right. You reached your destination: the desk of the angel that owed you a favour.

You had helped them a while ago to get the post they currently held. The angel did not want to work much. They wanted to be in a section that did not receive many visits or paperwork. You suggested the Earth dispatch section, talked to the right people and the angel was transferred. You did not think at the time that little favour would help you in the future, but you were glad it did.

You told the angel that you wanted to be dispatched to Earth. They asked you for how long and you answered that indefinitely. They looked at you as if you were the weirdest being in existence. Maybe you were. After a lot of convincing, your wish came true.

The first day on Earth was difficult. You had been dispatched close to Alexandria and so you decided to look for any clues that would point towards the reason for the fire or even its culprit. Sadly, when you got to the destroyed remnants of the library, almost every salvageable piece of art or literature had been ransacked. You felt defeated, and it was only your first day on Earth. This is what you always wanted, a purpose linked to humans. You weren’t going to give up so easily.

It was difficult to navigate the library, or what stood of it. Pillars and debris making inaccessible some of its most important sections. After a couple of hours of investigation without any luck, you were properly ready to give up. Suddenly, something caught your eye, you don’t remember how, it was like an instinct of some sort, but then you saw a section that wasn’t there before. It was also destroyed in its majority and everything inside was burned to the ground, but there was a name on the entrance, the name of the section which you learned later, it translated to English as: ‘The Shared Archive’. You decided to give it a shot, to try and find anything of worth, and you did.

Inside a pile of ash, you found a scroll, it seemed intact enough, so you took it. You didn’t know what it said at first, but time later when you were able to translate it you were shocked by its content. The scroll said:

“Cain kills Abel - Heaven +1; Abel kills Cain - Hell +1”

----

You rise from your seat. It had been an hour since you had put your diary down. People were starting to look at you weirdly, but you don’t care. The gallery was about to close for the day so you took your leave. You had been reminiscing for far too long, and you were late. The streets of Florence were as always full of life, with locals enjoying the afternoon and tourists taking pictures and enjoying the beautiful sights that the city had to offer.

After a short walk, you reached your shop, an antiquary, full of paintings, statues, books and everything that could come to mind. The sign at the door said closed, but the door was unlocked… weird. You stepped inside, not very sure about what was going to happen and-

“You are late, angioletto…” Copia’s voice surged from the shadows, a white eye piercing through the darkness of your store and looking directly at you.

“Dear, you scared the living heaven out of me!” Copia chuckled.

“Good, you deserve it. We are late. I made the reservation for 9 pm. It is 9 pm and we are not there.” You put your hands on your knees and gave Copia a small apology bow.

“I am very sorry, dear. I lost track of the time.” You hear Copia’s steps slowly getting closer to you and then a gloved hand graces your shoulder.

“It is okie-dokie, I know you would. That is why I moved the reservation to 9.30 pm.” You rise very slowly with an annoyed look on your face.

“You scoundrel of a demon! You are incorrigible… You made me worry for nothing!” Copia laughs uncontrollably, wiping a tear that had formed in his green eye because of the laughter. You feel embarrassed and a bit angry at him, which is noticeable by the red on your ears.

“It is quite impressive that you made it here before the sunrise. Were you at the Galleria degli Uffici again?” You press your lips, feeling seen by the demon.

“Em… yes…” The words come out timidly. “There was a new exhibition, I had to see it. You know how I am…” Copia smiles fondly and his fangs shine with the light coming from the outside.

“I know, I know… once again angioletto, that is why I changed the reservation. However, if we don’t make haste my efforts would have been in vain.” You nod, leaving the diary on the entrance table and making your exit with Copia by your side.

----

The sun has set, and the lights of the streetlamps mix with that of the full moon, drenching the city of Florence in a dreamy atmosphere as if had been painted by Claude Monet himself. Thanks to the ethereal shine of the city, you can now observe Copia who walks silently right beside you. He is wearing black gloves with golden nails on the outside. A long black coat covering a black turtleneck and the crimson suit pants he always likes to wear. Very smart and expensive black Italian tailored shoes cover his feet. The look is complete as always by the accessories: a silver upside-down cross necklace adorning his chest, a metal earring on his pointy left ear with the symbol of that band he likes to help sometimes and a pair of round sunglasses hiding his mismatched gaze -you had told him a thousand times that it wasn’t necessary, that wearing sunglasses in the dark would attract more attention to him rather than the fact that he had a white eye and a green eye, he didn’t care, he likes the drama-.

His hair was still long, over his shoulders for your disappointment, but still long. He has taken some of it in a ponytail and the rest is set loose- except for the curls on the top that look like horns, those are always there-. He now also has a few white hairs which he has miracled for himself to make everyone think that time passes for us, I think he likes feeling like a silver fox. He has also been rocking the facial hair for a couple of years now, with sideburns and a pencil moustache to be exact. To top it all off, he always wears a bit of makeup, ever since he could after you had met him actually, a black upper lip and some black eyeliner and eye shadow. Some things stay the same however, you can still see the freckles that have always adorned his face. You love his freckles.

“Do I have something on my face?” Copia asks, you have been staring for too long. Bollocks.

“N-no, I was just wondering why you were wearing the sunglasses during the night again. Everyone is staring at you.” You try to excuse yourself.

“Oh, so you don’t like when everyone looks at me? Do you want me all to yourself, angel?” Your excuse bites you in the arse and now you are beet red, luckily there isn’t much light and Copia might not notice.

“On the contraire, my dear. You are too precious to keep to myself, that is why everyone is cheering your name when you help that little band of yours… They can’t get enough of you.” You frown at your own words, you just wanted to take the iron off the conversation, but you just ended up being crushed by an anvil of your own creation. Copia stayed silent at that, expression unreadable under the dark veil of the city.

Copia and you were nothing, just associates. You had been just that for centuries, always side by side. You helped humans, you enjoyed the pleasures of a human life, you spent your time right beside the other and also lived your own lives, but nothing had ever happened between the two of you. Not that it could ever happen, you are an angel and they are a demon, being together would be sacrilegious and most certainly it would make you fall. If you fell, there would be nothing left for you, all your heavenly purpose gone, just because you indulged in your carnal desires. Even if you did, maybe Copia didn’t feel the same towards you. You had heard all about his one-night stands and his participation in orgies from that insolent satanic Papal figure that Copia calls a friend. Nonetheless, there had been moments during your partnership when Copia’s behaviour had made you think that something else would be possible. Lingering touches, furtive looks and thoughtful gestures made you fall more and more. You weren’t falling, but you were falling. That scared you plenty, but it was harder trying to deal with Copia’s absence for weeks at a time helping the band which left for heart aching in pain. You decided to stop thinking about that.

----

At 9.25 pm you both enter your favourite restaurant. A very typical Italian restaurant that served Copia’s rigatoni of choice and your favourite pizza. With time it had become your spot. It wasn’t just a restaurant anymore, it was a place to meet and share information, to celebrate, to release stress by eating or just to spend time with one another. The restaurant was quite humble and very aesthetically Italian, which for you was a plus. Many of the eating spots throughout the city had become tourist traps, so you were grateful to keep the little spot intact. You had to help a couple of times with some miracles to avoid bankruptcy, but nothing too serious, just for the benefit of the family that owned the restaurant.

Carlo, the older son of the owner, has already your table prepared with your water and Copia’s wine, you sit and make your usual order. Apart from that both of you stay silent for a while, the awkwardness from your previous conversation still lingering in the air.

“I have to tell you something…” Copia finally breaks the silence.

“What is it?” You ask, taking a sip of your water.

“Do you remember when I sent you a message a couple of weeks ago when I was on the European tour?”

“Yes, you mentioned that you had found something, but you said nothing else…”

“Well, that was because I wasn’t quite sure, but now I am. I have found something.” You open your mouth slightly, not knowing what to say. “I have found a scroll, angel. One that is legible.” Your mouth opens completely and your eyebrows rise in surprise.

“Are you sure? We have been tricked before.” Copia nods.

“I know, that is why I have checked with my contacts…” You huff.

“You know I don’t like your ‘contacts’.”

“Yes, well, we have no other way of telling if it is real.” You stay silent, looking at your water.

“Have you translated it already?” You look back up to Copia’s eyes, looking for an answer and the smiles.

“Yes, and it is a very important one…”

“What-” Instead of telling you, Copia hands you a piece of paper. On it, there is a picture of a scroll with a writing in old Latin and under it a translation written in pen:

“Judas betrays Jesus +1 hell; Judas stays with Jesus +1 heaven”

----------------------

Here is the very first part of the Good Omens/Ghost AU with our dear Copia as our personal Crowley (also I am back at using song titles for the chapters). I have a lot of plans for this AU (even little side stories and drawings) so get hyped! This doesn't mean that I have abandoned other projects, I just had an ADHD moment with this fic so I had to do it. Let me know what you think as always and thank you for all the support.

[rippleclan]

[Image ID: Twinekit and Moonpaw in their StarClan forms. The title above them says "StarClan: Structures & Basics of Power"]

So, StarClan is… an interesting group. Everyone has their own take on them, because almost no one likes how they are written in canon. The Erins clearly want StarClan to be a Christian analogy. They want interaction with StarClan to be a story about having faith in an omnipotent, benevolent force despite the challenges you face. I don’t think this is a bad thing, per se. However, the basic world building of StarClan makes this almost impossible to effectively portray for two reasons.

A: The living cats speak to StarClan all the time. This means that the writers must write dead characters in a character-accurate way while giving them divine knowledge and power. StarClan lacks the separation needed to say “we may not understand them but we need to trust they’re working towards a greater purpose”. When our heroes can actively talk to God, God needs to have something of value to say, something that would contradict the characterization of whatever dead cat you’ve chosen to deliver the information.

B: StarClan is a body of dead spirits who make terrible decisions. As readers, we can scan through the entire Warriors timeline, and that makes a lot of decisions seem ridiculous, contradictory, or outright cruel. Some notable examples include the Leafpool and Squirrelflight issues, Goosefeather, Jayfeather, letting Ashfur into StarClan but sending Frecklewish to the Dark Forest, and more. Some of these could work if we weren’t in constant communication with StarClan, but we are.

With all these issues, every AU or FanClan needs to explain how they view StarClan in an effort to craft better world building and useful tension. For RippleClan’s Promise, I take some inspiration from @bonefall and his Better Bones AU (hi bone love your work hope you like this). Other details are based around the mechanics of Clangen and my own personal tastes. For this lore post, we’ll discuss the basics of StarClan and what they are capable of.

Positions In StarClan

Clan culture is based on hierarchy and on listening to figures of authority, so why would StarClan not have their own unique positions? In this series, positions are based on how long someone has been dead, their reputation among the living, their personal interests, and the occasional bout of StarClan politics. In StarClan, all are meant to be equal, but authority is to be respected when working towards the good of the living.

The Newly-Dead are StarClan's most recent arrivals. They are often chosen to present information to the living due to their close ties to living friends and family. They could also be called the "face" of StarClan. They spend their time learning about StarClan, reuniting with loved ones, and delivering prophecies/visions/omens under the orders of others. After some time, they can move onto other roles, although some prefer just to rest.

Fetchers spend their time escorting the souls of the Clan's dead away from Earth. When a Clan cat dies, their soul sticks around for a while. Their souls can be stuck on Earth if their deaths are not properly acknowledged and/or the Fetcher cannot find them. There are stories of souls hiding from Fetchers long enough to return to their bodies, but the Clans aren't sure if they are stories for historians or artisans. Fetchers also protect the souls of leaders as their bodies recover from a lost life.

Judges keep an eye on the choices of the living to see who deserves to join their ranks. When someone dies, if there is a chance they do not deserve StarClan, the Judges will host a trial, like those of codekeepers on Earth. One judge will defend the soul while another accuses them of breaking the code one too many times and standing against the values of the Clans.

Blessed Ones can create blessings and miracles for the living. When the living have earned their favor, Blessed Ones encourage the growth of certain plants, foster the expansion of prey, and design kits in the bellies of pregnant queens. If StarClan is angry, the Blessed Ones help guide that anger into a specific manifestation.

Rather than fading, if a cat is forgotten by the living and has grown tired, they join the All-Seeing. The All-Seeing is considered a singular deity who stores the memories and personalities of every StarClan cat within them. If they push themself, they can separate a soul from themselves to present as an individual, but they prefer to stay whole. Few living cats have ever met them, for they stay out of living affairs. They tend to the river of space and time, which shows them all events of the past, present, and future concerning the Clans. They share these notes with other StarClan cats through prophecies and orders for dreams and visions. It's hard to tell if the All-Seeing truly cares about the Clans, or if they just want to watch a story unfold.

Sometimes a cat reincarnates rather than joining the All-Seeing. They can be dead for any length of time, but the act of reincarnation is a sacrifice. Their next self will recognize who they once were after they die, but their own personality will be gone.

Cats who want to stick around or have a strong memory in the Clans gain more power and authority in their chosen roles. These cats are known as Celestials and are similar to Christian saints or niche gods in a pantheon. Celestials can display god-like forms and are considered the guardians of a specific domain.

The highest of the Celestials is a small group known as the Guides. There are five Guides, one for each Clan. They can be considered the leaders of StarClan due to their determination to maintain their beloved Clans. Each Guide died or lived in such a way to permanently tie them to their Clan. Moonpaw was chosen as the guide of RippleClan and is therefore the Celestial of RippleClan.

What Can StarClan Do?

StarClan's power is largely based on individual prestige and collective emotion. All StarClan cats can take a form matching any part of their lives and visit the living Clans. Fetchers have unique abilities that allow for the manipulation of souls. Judges have the power to take cats between StarClan and the Dark Forest. The Blessed Ones work together to bless the territory. Celestials have some special abilities connected to what they represent. However, all these cats only have power because they have a community to look after so they can one day join them in their peaceful, starry abode.

The All-Seeing is the only one who actually receives knowledge of the future. Their rather neutral perspective on life, death, and what the living need to know is a source of frustration for anyone who isn't ready to join them. Sure, StarClan sees a lot, but the All-Seeing gets mad if they reveal too much to the living. Even the Guides don't want to piss off the All-Seeing.

In terms of influencing events, StarClan's power is limited by their emotion. Some of their greatest signs are the result of moments of utter rage. The Blessed Ones manage the collective emotion of StarClan and guide each boost of emotional power into a stronger blessing or curse outside of their own limited abilities.

There is more to StarClan, such as their relationship with the Dark Forest, but I'll save that for another day. I'll leave you with this: Twinekit may be a Newly-Dead as of Moon 8, but she will eventually become a Fetcher for RippleClan.

[sparrowsortadrawzzz]

Okay I’m on another thought train and you are the designated person to travel with me on these trips. So. Consider. Reverse omens, right? Classic. Sometimes it’s all the angels and demons flipped, sometimes it’s just the husbands. But consider. Reverse omens but ONLY ineffable bureaucracy gets switched. If anything I think this has the possibility to be the MOST interesting variation of this au because, like, if only Aziraphale and Crowley are switched it changes some things but they’re like…middle to upper-middle class in terms of ranking? Not much about the structure of how things work in heaven and hell changes. Everyone gets switched? More variation but arguably too many moving parts and characters to keep track of. Just Beelzebub and Gabriel (or as Beez would probably called according to our headcanons Zuriel. And …whatever Gabriel is called in this. Any thoughts?) get switched? Throws the whole system into chaos! Like here’s how I see it. Season 1 Gabriel was a total asshole. No doubts about it. Heaven was institutionally fucked up and half of it was probably his fault. Beelzebub though? I’ve always had more of an impression that hell was bad because it’s, y’know, hell. Not that Beelzebub themself was an awful boss. Like aside from killing Eric that one time and yelling a bunch they actually seem like a pretty fair boss. Just evil because that’s their job. So like in this universe hell would be like…infinitely worse. But heaven? I feel like it would actually be substantially less fucked up with Beelzebub calling the shots. The other archangels and the metatitty would likely still cause problems as always but I genuinely don’t think it would be as bad. Crowley likely has a bunch of trauma now so oops but like Aziraphales boss is pretty chill so he likely isn’t as messed up as usual. They probably do still have that firm belief in Armageddon and all that but there probably less “we’ll kill you if you don’t go along with this. pick a side Aziraphale” about it and more “Look man I’ve been ignoring you and my brothe- (yes I’m bringing ssiblingzz shit into this. You probably know my brainrot well enough by now to have guessed I would.) Crowley’s shit for millennia I can’t do that any more. It’s time to fight. Please stop being stubborn I don’t wanna have kill you you’re the only bitch I respect up here.” (Beelzebub has always seemed more aware of Aziraphale and Crowley’s situation than Gabe so I kind of think in this situation they’d actually be the type to turn a blind eye to it?)

I do have more thoughts but I need to make food so enjoy this for now and share any of your ideas. I’ll probably be back soon with more.

OOOOOH WAIT YOUVE GOT A POINT THERE- I think Gabe would be some demon like perhaps Camio (from googling, he seems to be "Demon of persuassion and communication", which seems very up his alley, and his Wikipedia article mentioned him being leader of a bunch of demons, so it makes sense-), and he'd treat Hastur, Shax, and Ligur like he treats Uriel, Michael, and Sandalphon. Beez would for sure be dry, and tired, but I think ze'd be a pretty good boss too- the other Archangels may treat zir with an actual respect! ze might also give Aziraphale some slack for interacting with Crowley, since a) it's zir brother, and b) ze might understand how he feels 👀 Demon!Gabe (Cammy?) tho, he'd smell more of plastic-promises, be more manipulative and conniving, and maybe even be more in his element, cuz being a demon doesn't take a "I'm smart and mighty, follow me" mentality, it takes an obey-or-die mentality. I mean, "t-o-s-t...e. TOAST!!" put great emphasis on that ADHFH- (also him possibly being considered as Lucifer's brother? and fellow starmaker with Angel!Crowley?? SO MANY ANGST OPPORTUNITIES-) however, he would probably be extra with keeping track of the intentions of Crowley's miracles, and yeahh poor Crowbro may be kinda frucked up even more-

I think once he sees how Zuriel actually cares about him and sees him as someone other than a big scary demon, as an actual friend and companion who understands him, he puts down his guard and fight-or-flight, and changes for the better with zir. (maybe he didn't particularly enjoy having to manipulate and scare others into doing what he'd been ordered to do, but had to in order to survive? or maybe he and his possible brother team up and are conniving little shits, whatever you think is best ^^)

THANK YOU FOR SHARING ALL OF THIS WITH ME I LOVE YOUR HEADCANONS ADN STUFF SO MUCHVAHFJDHG

[ageofbajabule]

GVF as Bad Omens TDOPOM Songs Mini Series

Hey everyone!! I don’t know if a good handful of my readers are Bad Omens fans but I’ve been sitting on this idea for a little, and my baddies convinced me to do it. And well here we are! The mini series is going to take place in an AU where the guys are tatted/pierced and what not. Each song will have some sort of scenario that fits with the song each member is paired with.

I’ll give a little insight of what songs the guys will be.

Josh - Just Pretend

Jake - Miracle

Danny - Like A Villain

Sam - What Do You Want From Me?

I’m really excited to write this mini series, it’s been itching at my brain for a while. And I do hope you guys will enjoy them when I have the chance to work on them and post them!

[anotherhumanpet]

@codenamejudas

Whenever Judas is back 'home' again from his latest adventure on the road, he will not be granted peace. He will be given a moment's worth of peace - time to settle down, to catch up with Jaden - but he will not know the bliss of quiet nothingness for any amount of time because Dennis is laying in wait for him. The kid watches and hovers like a hawk, waiting for the first opportunity he sees to be alone with Judas for an extended amount of time, before approaching to metaphorically put Judas in the corner and blurt out:

"I know about Crowley."

[returnsandreturns]

more of the matt/foggy good omens AU because i love them

this one is definitely nsfw

“Do you think it was a bad idea to do miracles together?” Matt asks, unlocking his apartment door and holding it open for Foggy. “I think there might be a difference between doing them together and doing them adjacent to each other.”  “I liked it,” Foggy says, shrugging. “I felt all tingly.”  “You just like holding my hand,” Matt says, shooting a smile back at him. “Wait here. I’ll need a minute.”  It’s a combination of him being evil and it being longer than a minute and Matt leaving the door open that leads to Foggy walking softly over to look in and see Matt looking very much himself but shades of different – a few new curves in the low light making him softer, small breasts and fuller hips. “Wow, your ass looks exactly the same,” Foggy says, amused. “God knew exactly what She was doing with that, huh?” 

[spacerangersam]

I got carried away with thoughts on a good omens au, whoops-

Pat is an angel who's job is to look over humans. He's not the biggest fan of God on account of her continually allowing things to happen which harm the very humans he's supposed to look over, but keeps it quiet, lest he loose his powers and be unable to help anyone. He owns a library in Surrey and runs a scouts group where he tries to teach the local kids good behaviours. Just a nice, friendly angel who's occasionally consumed by an apocalyptic rage and has to be dragged away from a fight by a demon. You know how it is.

Julian is his demonic friend who's been bothering him since the beginning of time, a initial wildcard who was all about inflicting lust and tempting people. He's mellowed over time, though still a troublemaker, and would very much like it if Hell would back off and just let him enjoy eternity. He occasionally joins in the scout sessions to cause havoc and teach the kids lessons they probably shouldn't be taught, but Pat allows it. Sometimes. He does have a very expensive flat, but somehow always ends up at the library. He does, of course, have a very expensive car.

Daley is the cheery antichrist who's been misplaced for a number of years (funnily enough, Pat visits Yorkshire quite often and knows him quite well, but doesn't know he was one of the two babies involved in the switcharoo), while Rachel is the grumpy daughter of a politician who's mistaken as the antichrist for a number of years. She's not happy about her nanny and gardener disappearing after her birthday, managing to find her way to Yorkshire to be a part of the fuss. Her and Daley learn the truth, become friends, and she's only a bit disappointed that she doesn't have the cool powers. She does insist Pat and Julian visit occasionally, and they do.

I know the obvious choice would be to make Alison the witch since her actress voiced Anathema in the radio show, but I want it to be Mike. Mike, the only one out of his immediate family who has any aptitude for magic and is constantly worried about messing up and ruining his family legacy.

Alison is the clumsy descendant of a witch hunters who just wants a job she won't muck up and also for this weird witch hunter guy called Barclay to leave her alone.

Captain is a high-ranking angel who's never left heaven and still hasn't gotten over his second in command leaving him for earth (whether that be Havers, Pat or someone else is up to you). He's not fond of any angels stationed in earth because of it, and would prefer if no angels went to earth, actually.

Fanny is his replacement secondhand who's a very traditional angel and not a big fan of how human all these earth angels are. She and the Captain are bad guys, per se, they just have some stuff to work through.

Mary is a low ranking angel who's initially very devout, but nevertheless ends up befriending a friendly but mischevious demon named Robin and falling for another called Annie (previously called Lilith). Humphrey is also a demon, a very polite one who didn't actually mean to fall, but he's a demon now regardless so tries to get on with life. Thomas is an angel who'd rather be a demon so he can 'suffer for his art' but somehow keeps failing at falling.

Kitty is a perfectly normal human who, because of a miracle gone wrong, is somehow immortal. No one bar Pat and Julian have clocked onto that yet, and they just sort of leave her be. She seems happy enough.

[jnjlen-ou-skinjbir]

La Passe-Miroir/The Mirror Visitor ask game: give me a character's name and I will give you three headcanons + an AU! one for them

Blasius

1 - Whenever there is an insect, a spider or a scorpion in the house, he doesn't kill it (not because he doesn't have the coordination for it nor because the smell of freshly killed arthropods is unbearable to his Olfactive nose, but because he doesn't want to kill animals if he can help it), he uses the glass + paper method and releases it outside

2 - He began practicing yoga, hoping it would help him less clumsy; and while it didn't do miracles for his coordination (he regularly falls in the middle of asanas), he kept practicing because he felt better afterwards

3 - He can tell when a dish is done cooking only by the smell (to his parents' dismay, his powers are the most efficient when it comes to food)

AU! - His parents wanted him to follow their steps and become a nose for luxury perfume brands, just like them; so they were réal mad and disappointed he didn't nothing of the sorts and began working in a library because the smell of books was one of his favourite

Wolf

1 - He isn't a morning person, he is definitely a "don't talk to me until I've had my coffee" (nor after the coffee for that matter) type

2 - He easily gets freckles when he spends too much time under the sun (which never happens given he spends his time scooped up at the Secretarium, the Good Family, his home or Blasius')

3 - He is secretly a cat dad (yes, the irony to not like canines when you're named after one) and can't resist petting cats, even if it means spending half an hour picking all the feline hair out of his black garments

AU! - He would totally be a military historian and, convinced what actually happened around the Tear is a heavily curated version, would be spending his time trying to get special exemptions to consult the relevant archives.

Wolf/Blasius

(because why not, we need moar content for them!)

1 - It's no secret that Wolf is perpetually grumpy, even around Blasius; hence the latter's surprise, when he realized that Wolf almost always smiled when they kissed ( when he pointed that out, Wolf blushed a bit and grumbled an unintelligible answer)

2 - The first time Blasius went to Wolf's, he saw a black cat on the doorstep and immediately began to wonder if it was a bad omen. Turns out, it was just a stray cat that hangs in the block and that Wolf often feeds and pets (and despite his wariness of cats, discovering Wolf was a doting cat dad just made Blasius fall a little more in love with him).

3 - Wolf never once complained about Blasius' clumsiness, no matter how many times he got harmed or his things got damaged as a result

AU! - They'd be both into alternative music: Wolf more into hc punk and black metal, and Blasius into post-punk/wave/goth stuff (Wolf makes a whole show of groaning every time before going to a goth/alt night with Blasius, but once there he actually enjoys himself there and eventually began to two-step on certain Sisters of Mercy songs)

[comradeboyhalo]

you are forbidden (it makes me want you more) • skephalo • good omens au • 10/10 chapters • 37.8k words

The Arrangement was what Skeppy and Bad liked to call their hundred year old deal--a deal that could very well send the forces of Heaven and Hell crashing down on them. For such a dangerous agreement, the details of the Arrangement had three exceedingly simple rules:

1). Angel Skeppy, assigned to perform miracles, and demon Bad, assigned to perform evil, will swap jobs due to their differing personalities.

2). Skeppy and Bad will meet at undisclosed locations to exchange information and report back to their respective authorities when needed.

3). All meetings must be done in complete secrecy. Any unnecessary contact is to be avoided at all costs. All relations shall stay strictly business until the end of time.

“It was rule 3.” Skeppy covered his face in his hands. “We broke rule 3.”

[addledmongoose]

Good Omens Fanfic Friday (22 Mar 2024)

A bit of an eclectic mix this week.

Like one of your French Girls (8K; Rated E) By@thescholarlystrumpet

Crowley convinces Aziraphale to go watch Titanic in the theater. Aziraphale is inspired to draw after the drawing scene in the movie. He just needs the right model.

***

amaretto (70K; Rated E)

Human(ish) AU. Aziraphale, a bookseller/restorationist in South Downs, accidentally summons a demon and is forced to enter into the soul contract by the terms of the summoning spell. The only thing he asks Crowley for is to spend time with him, and so begins a relationship that goes from friendship to a deep, abiding love. There's sadness and angst with regards to the contract, but their relationship is sweet and kind and loving, and you might be surprised by the (happy) ending. I would love to see a follow-up short story if the writer was ever inclined to follow them afterward and see how they're getting along.

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An Inducement to Marry (45K; Rated T)

Regency-era Human AU. Aziraphale Fell is a bookshop owner in the small village of Tadfield. His neighbors are all under the impression that Crowley, a repeat visitor of the shop, fancies him despite Aziraphale knowing such an idea is preposterous. When news breaks that Crowley is being pressured to marry by his mother, Crowley comes to Aziraphale with an unusual request. The story is written in the style of Georgette Heyer and features some lovely language and zero homophobia. The reader is well aware that Crowley is arse-over-teakettle for Aziraphale, but our lovely angelic bookseller is a bit slow on the uptake.

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Big Name Feelings (104K; Rated E) by @mrghostrat

Human AU/Fake Relationship. It's finally complete! Crowley is a BNF (big name fan) fanfic writer for a popular series by author, Agnes Nutter. Aziraphale is a fanfic artist with a crush on him. They become good friends, and a month from Prophet Con, Crowley asks him to be his fake boyfriend for the weekend, so he can avoid unwanted attention. Like most of ghostrat's work, this one is filled with terrific art, gorgeous workskins, and of course, beautiful writing. Please try to read it with the workskins on. It loses something not seeing all the Discord/text/etc. messages in their intended format.

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One Miraculous December (188K; Rated T) by @journeytogallifrey

Ignore the fact that it's no longer Christmas. This is probably the most sweetly romantic GO story I've ever read. A bit slow burn. A bit through-the-ages (via memories). A whole lot of romance, pining, kissing, and cuddling. And of course, a whole lot of not properly communicating. But the angst level simmers, it doesn't flame.

Candles. Mistletoe. An entire frozen lake. Festive memories from their past together keep appearing out of nowhere.

Crowley's sure he's manifesting them accidentally out of sheer romantic desperation. It's bad enough trying to hide his unrequited love as they grow closer post-Apocaloops - what if Aziraphale sees the objects for what they are, a window into his yearning soul? Unfortunately, the only way to banish the objects seems to be talking about each memory...

Meanwhile, Aziraphale is just trying to woo his demon boyfriend with big gestures, ready to prove his devotion. And if Crowley acts awkward about the miracles? Surely that's just his difficulty accepting affection. The solution: shower him with as much of it as possible...

Eventually these two will communicate, even if it takes 'til the end of the year. For now there will be cuddling, excuses for closeness, sappy words, flashbacks, nostalgia, bickering, and an obscene variety of holiday foods. Oh, and footnotes. That's right. We're doing those too.