#But either way it's a pleasure to have them in physical format

[ottosuwuen]

Two beautiful Lamia commisions I bought at a con!

Artists: Asukara and ZzzleepyBunny

[s-awturn]

Pilots and their love languages || F1 Grid

cw: superficiality, slightly suggestive, PDA and non-PDA and I don't know what else to say, so blah blah blah

starring: LH44, CS55, CL16, LN4, OP81, MV1

a/n: I'm testing something new, so please bear with me 😩 for now it will be just these pilots because they are my favorites here, as I get used to this format, I can include more pilots. Anyway, enjoy!

LEWIS HAMILTON - Acts of service

Lewis knows that you are inattentive and forget to eat, sometimes you fall asleep in the office while you are working, you forget your things when you are in a hurry, And luckily for you, your fiancé is always attentive to these details. So he always checks his things, whether he has his keys, whether he has had his coffee properly or whether he is about to finish his work at the office. No matter how much you tell him that he doesn't need to worry, Lewis loves taking care of you and making sure your needs are met, even the most basic ones.

"Sorry for giving you so much trouble, you must be tired from training"

"Nah, I'm fine and taking care of you is no work at all, it's a pleasure for me"

CARLOS SAINZ - Gifts

Carlos loves to give gifts and his generosity knows no bounds, especially for you, he loves to present you with whatever he thinks you like. Did you like that book? It's yours. Did you show interest in a bracelet? It'll be on your wrist before you know it. You've lost count of how many times you've talked to him about it, your closet couldn't fit anything else! But how could you deny it? Whenever your boyfriend arrived with that lost puppy dog look, you knew what was coming, Carlos knew you couldn't resist that look.

"You can't blame me for wanting to see my girl happy"

"You make me happy and as much as I love your gifts, I don't need them, I already have you"

CHARLES LECLERC - Physical touch

No matter where, no matter who is watching, Charles will always have his hands on you. Whether it's holding your hand, wrapping his arms around your waist or kissing you. PDA is not a problem for him, the Monegasque loves to show how much he loves you, he is completely ok with the idea of kissing you in the street, of fixing your hair when necessary or keep his hand on your thigh while chatting with friends in a cafe. As long as he touches you, the world could end.

"Charl, there are reporters here, they're going to make a huge deal out of this..."

"They can say whatever they want, I won't keep my hands off you, chérie. "

LANDO NORRIS - Words of affirmation

When you first met Lando, you could have sworn he was the gift or physical touch guy, so it was a big surprise to find out he was the words of affirmation guy. You'd often find notes around the apartment, or receive sweet messages at random times of the day, and Lando was the best at captioning his Instagram photos; He wants you to have no doubts about his feelings, so any chance he gets to tell you how he feels about you, he will.

"Are you paraphrasing Edward Cullen's wedding vows?"

"It was either Twilight or Romeo and Juliet... I chose the one where the characters stay alive... Figuratively speaking"

OSCAR PIASTRI - Quality time

Oscar is aware that he doesn't have much free time between races, so there aren't many good breaks he can enjoy with you. Knowing this, Oscar doesn't mind spending as much time with you as possible; It doesn't matter what you do, you can read, watch a series, having a skin care session, talk or just be silent, he just needs some time with you. It could be an hour or five minutes, as long as he's with you, it's fine.

"Are you sure I'm not bothering you here?"

"Baby, you never get in my way, I just need a few minutes with you before the race, alright?"

MAX VERSTAPPEN - Quality time

Just like Oscar, Max likes to spend as much time with you as he can, and that time is usually spent doing activities that focus on the two of you. Max will trade any party, any event for an afternoon at home watching his favorite movies or sitting by the window of your apartment, talking while it rains. Max really appreciates these moments because he knows they don't happen often, they both have very demanding jobs and he values every minute he has with you.

"Choose any movie you want, I'll watch whatever it is, as long as it's with you"

"And you still say you're not romantic"

Gif credits: rb19, callumilott, quadrantslandonorris, walkingonanunknownpath, artemispt and yungbludz

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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO S-AWTURN™ 🪐. I do not allow copying or republication. Any unauthorized publication will be reported.

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[detectiveneve]

Love your little meta analyses of Astarion and would LOVE to hear your thought on the optional "you don't have to do this just because you feel like you owe me something" line early in Act 1 when he first propositions Tav and his reaction to it?

Okay hi sorry, I lost a bunch of my saves and I thought I'd lost the save for this scene too but turns out NOPE I HAD IT & I'm so glad because I wanted to go back and play the different variations so I could probably scream and... scream I did! And I'm SO compelled by this, so thank you for the ask! & sorry for the late response.

So you actually only get this version of the conversation if you don't express any sort of confirmation that yeah, you're into him. If you confirm you're into him, or the biting, that'll bypass the ability to say "you don't have to do this," altogether, which makes me want to eat drywall because the whole conversation prior is still fairly shady, but the "reward for your noble sacrifice" only comes through if you don't fully confirm you were into it. which is very interesting because in the other two versions you can still express doubt, but only in the format of the "a less trusting person" line seen above as well.

The first time he propositions you, if you get this branch of dialogue, what I think happens here is Astarion quickly shifts gears. He sees that Tav isn't, at least according to what they say, charmed or aroused by the vampire routine.

One other thing: they helped him because, as a result of giving him blood, he would be able to physically help them more. He would be stronger, a better fighter, and thus useful. (Whatever is intended by each individual tav who takes his line is up to the player, but that's what can most obviously be received by Astarion).

So, he switches up instantaneously to accommodate the motivation that Tav seems to have (through his own eyes). Instead of appealing to Tav's horny brain and physical attraction to him, he's appealing to their "sacrifice." Tit for tat. Pleasure in reward for blood. You aren't lustfully interested in him as is? That's fine. He can switch it up and instead offer sex as repayment for what you've done for him, and for his body as an object that functions better due to the blood you've given him. Either way, the end goal will be the same: sex to secure his position in the group.

At this point in the game, it isn't about Tav, not really, I don't think. You could take any version of this conversation to the conclusion and it would mean the same thing to him. (That is to say: seduction and sex for security, and sleeping with Tav is a quick way to get that.)

So when Tav says, "You shouldn't do this just because you feel like you owe me something," I don't even think it really... registers for him? Because he hasn't even begun to conceive of that possibility. He is fully still in the same mindset he had prior to escaping, and is running through the same patterns of behavior as before.

He brushes off that reassurance immediately, says it's "more of an excuse," than anything, doing the same thing as before. When he gets this reaction from Tav, he switches gears again: oh it's not the only reason I want to have sex with you, I'm mostly interested in you, I promise. He's navigating the very shallow social interaction that this seduction routine entails by adjusting at a moment's notice to the next thing Tav says. If they're interested or flirty back, he'll fully play up the whole thing. If they're reluctant, he offers new reasons for why they should want to sleep with him.

And then if you reject him entirely:

"Deny your feelings all you like, it doesn't matter to me."

You don't get disapproval for rejecting him, but he still reinforces this idea to Tav that yes, you're interested in me. You just haven't realized it yet. Typically this kind of line in romance would be annoyingly obnoxiously all about "oh you want me you just haven't realized it yet" and the other party is supposed to find this hot, but with the context of the rest of his arc, it's fascinating. Because Astarion only knows how to secure safety and power through seduction and sex. He only knows how to get what he needs through emotional manipulation and cunning--and SHALLOW emotional manipulation at that. He's not playing an intricate game here. His manipulations become prettyyyyy overt by the second time he propositions you:

Like, it would take some serious emotional blindness to miss the hints he's laying out here. He's delighting in dangling the fact that he's lying and manipulating Tav right out in front of them. Because now he feels more secure in his position in the group. In Tav's attraction to him. Because they've already slept together once, he has less to fear about losing his station of safety via Tav within the group.

So then I thought. Okay what does he say when you reject him in other places where he propositions you. In the actual sex scene itself, he simply says "Why are you here then? I thought we had an understanding? (...)" but if you reject him during the "little treat," scene, he says:

In both instances, the "you don't have to" and "I don't think I really want this," Astarion gives Tav a glimpse at the, huh, trauma behind the scenes. In this later scene, when you've already slept with him once, he outright admits he's slept with tons of people and doesn't remember most of them, and in a very.... passive, "gotten on my back," phrasing that's so offhanded for all that it implies. Like can we go back. Can we unpack that. And he does not! I don't know what to make of that last line. "You, I'll remember." Maybe he's being saccharine one last time to keep up some manner of security within the group. Maybe he's confusingly genuine, growing to care about Tav in a way he has no idea how to unpack yet, if at all. Probably doesn't even realize it yet, if that's the case.

Either way, he gives you unintentional glimpses behind the scenes to the inner workings of his intentions. The inconsistencies in how he talks to Tav depending on their next reaction. The switching gears quick to accommodate different statements and personalities. The offhanded reveal of his total lack of care or feeling about the "lines" he spews to get people to be interested. IT HITS. It hits badly.

[serufu]

This week's Chainsaw Man chapter has some truly great and funny moments in it sure, but I also love how relevant to both the plot and general overall theme of the story they are, it's really helped me put into words what I love so much about the manga. At the end of the day, so many of the characters, even (or especially) the super powerful ones, all want some version of a life that they can enjoy with things that matter to them (usually, and importantly, mundane / earthly things too). I feel like so many motivations can be broken down into some variety of wanting the comfort of a relationship (and lots of different kinds are presented as desirable, not simply binary romance) or a craving to enjoy physical pleasures like good food or sex. But because almost every character is a devil or someone who in some manner exists outside of or removed from the comfort of a "normal" life (or often both!) these desires don't just come across as hedonism either, they are a genuine craving for life and something that has so far been unobtainable or been taken from them, and what might to a "normal" person be common or not worth much thought to them gets to morph into extremely important needs that represent more than just the thing itself. And that also isn't to say they don't have ideals or goals either, this approach is carried on in those as well in that SO much of what the characters are and believe in is expressed through what they want in life and what they decide to do to obtain it rather than one and done stated rhetoric or long speeches about ideology. I dunno, I just think it's a really fascinating and effective way to utilize what is ostensibly a shonen manga format to capitalize on it's over the top action and big ridiculous moments but bypass or subvert a lot of it's traditions and declarations in favor of much more nuanced characterization.

[blorbosexterminator]

What do you think of the first teaser? Its like... Its not Andres de fonollosa.

My reaction was... "I can watch this till the end" while suffering. Why am I feeling like this? 🥲

The first thoughts I had are:

They are really trying hard to make Andrés younger (not fully succeeding but I don't care to be honest, their intention shows and this is all that matters) which might confirm that this whole show either takes place before meeting Martín (and Jakov) or at least very early on, and which also has some indication that Alex Pina is going as far as he can in the past (while still having his fun little knockoff gang) to be able to make up to three seasons or more if Netflix allows it.

They are Moscow-izing the hell out of Damian haha. Not personality-wise exactly (that might a little more Sergio) but definitely parental guidance role, and I really think Moscow-like death for Andrés or otherwise. There are also equal visible trials aging up Damian as there are aging down down Andrés, which I think is because they are going out for a visible 10 years or so age difference between them.

Physically speaking (and age-wise haha), this Damian is more likely to be Rafael's father than Andrés is. Watch as their fall-out is Andrés discovering that Damian is his son's real father and he fucked his first wife haha then only after do we see Andrés accept Rafael because Andrés is allergic to his own offspring.

Keila is an an annoying stereotype that I will probably have less pleasure watching than I did Río and most likely to have an obnoxious romance with Andrés.

Non-Keila woman super hot

Roi has cool vibes but my acceptance of him is conditioned on a very important matter: him dying in the end. If he doesn't, I'll take it back. But he seems like a nice kid, out of all of them so far, he's the easiest for me to tolerate. Bruce has decent vibes too, but to a lesser extent because he's a knockoff.

I won't lie anon, I also had this jerk-knee reaction. It really feels like a different Andrés. Not in a good way. I think it's just normal as a first reaction anyway. This IS very different ground.

The one good thing I can take from this is that it's very obviously trying to put it around ten years before the monastery. Despite Pina never going to admit it lol. And other than the berlermo aspect, I can also really enjoy the depiction of Andrés in his youth, while still in formation, still the Berlin we know hasn't fully formed, under the guidance of someone who has a very different nature. Those are things that can be done well! (Or have no place in the show at all lmfao depends on Pina's mood)

[lifenconcepts]

oh I won’t even bother re-reading this one. (Been uploading some of my unposted posts)

We, as a species, ponder on many things. It’s sort of out main aspect. Yet like a robot with a defect, plenty of our kind form with an inherent struggle to do this. And so we do our best to teach them, and allow them to be incorporated into our society just like any other. It’s a fact that humans are naturally kind, sympathetic, and empathetic. They try to make sure that even the weakest are able to be given a chance of a life and survive, feeling a strong obligation through morals to not kill, a right only reserved to the natural passage of time and the world, and often abused by sickly people who are unwell in the mind and derive pleasure from other peoples pain or are suffering in a way that allows them to cope through horrible acts upon others, same species or not. Certain actions may even be taken without prior thought, subconscious acts done by nearly everyone from time to time, such as an automatic response towards a situation they’ve been in before, or a way they were taught is best, even if not out right spoken to them - rather a way of life they learnt through experiencing life first hand. Yet sometimes an individual is ruled by these subconscious ideas, unable to pilot their body much without having a force drag them to do something against their will. It’s not divine intervention but more if a mental state of suffering, one even we are still a bit troubled about and try to understand, but have came to the conclusion that sometimes the components in our minds break and work slightly different. At times going unnoticed and simply materialising as an individual habit, or sometimes being perceived and very clear to an onlooker that something is deeply wrong. These little breaks in the head we often refer to as “mental disorder” or “mental illness” despite plenty existing that do very little to actually harm the user’s way of living, but ofcourse, some being downright awful and a cruel way to live. They form in different ways, some even from birth, and some from exposure to external sources and events. It can even happen if an individual is confined with nothing entirely, as our emotions form strangely and our thoughts adapt to what we’re exposed to. Little things like a bed can play both an unnoticeable role and maybe even cause a sense of habit and comfort to form, like getting used to sleeping low to the ground or high up, while such a thing can even put a massive impact on the developmental stage of a human, usually as a child but able to form even in adulthood, and often followed by a situation related to that object - such as trauma of being physically or emotionally hurt near it, (verbal abuse is tightly connected to emotional distress) and physical trauma being able to cause an otherwise healthy mind to immediately go haywire, usually activating an escapism tactic that is categorised into the umbrella terms of “fight”, “flight”, “fawn”, or “freeze”, these being trauma responses and correspond to how a person reacts to a perceived threat, usually either to confront the target, to flee from the scene or individual, to appease the threat and cause as little damage or reaction as possible, or to shut down and become incapable of responding. All can be described and done in moderation but the user is in no control over them and often is left with consequences in all, especially with overuse, as too much exposure to stressful events or situations can lead to serious consequences on the psyche of an individual, leading to the formation of mental unwellness like I dabbled on prior, or maybe even more serious things like deeper psychological problems and issues like depression or anxiety or PTSD, all which come as a spectrum and some either light or heavy. As even the lightest of these can cause the following: unease in some individuals or places, often related to or resembling a prior negative experience. Mistrust in otherwise good individuals that were unconnected with the trauma.

[jefelen-presents]

“Bermuda Island” (2023)

Saturday, January 21, 2023 (12:21) JEFELEN was pleased to serve as Executive Producer for Mahal Empire Productions™ (in conjunction with Alien Donut Films™ and Stag Mountain Films™) on Adam Werth's debut feature, "Bermuda Island", which goes into general release as of today!

http://www.mahalempire.com/bermuda-island-2

Passengers on their way to a tropical paradise find themselves at the mercy of the elements when their plane crashes at sea, forcing the survivors to take refuge on a deserted island amid the Bermuda archipelago.  As infighting among their motley number mounts, they come to discover that the island has more in store for them than they could ever have imagined...

Practical creature prosthetics were provided by Tom Devlin's 1313FX™.  Distribution is being managed by Gravitas Ventures™:

http://www.gravitasventures.com/bermuda-island-2023

Now available to rent or buy through the following licensed streaming platforms:

Amazon Prime Video™: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B8Q3VGB8

Vudu™: http://www.vudu.com/.../details/Bermuda-Island/2197444

Verizon™: http://tv.verizon.com/.../bermuda.../GRAV1690000001427640

Google Play™: http://play.google.com/.../movies/details/Bermuda_Island...

iTunes™: http://itunes.apple.com/movie/bermuda-island/id1657769784

Apple TV™: http://tv.apple.com/.../umc.cmc.4yn2ure57ac7mw54xma9lc844

Microsoft Store™: http://www.microsoft.com/en-us/p/bermuda-island/8d6kgwxz4xd8

YouTube™: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5EvFWbmueE

Spectrum™: http://ondemand.spectrum.net/movies/23593102/bermuda-island

Vimeo™: http://vimeo.com/ondemand/bermudaisland

Physical media is be catered to the US market by electronic vendor Amazon.com, as you might expect, and is available to purchase in the following home video formats:

DVD: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKH8721V

Blu-Ray: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKH856BG

International availability (including such territories as Australia) is currently in negotiation, so stay tuned for future announcements.  Promotional material provided by Trailer Den™.

#BermudaIsland  #AdamWerth  #MahalEmpire  #GravitasVentures  #StrandedInParadise  #UntilTheSunGoesDown  #AvailableNOW

Saturday, January 21, 2023 (13:31) As recently promoted here:

http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=6180204708677280&id=100000634350634

Sunday, January 22, 2023 (14:41) In addition to the success of the previously referenced première, which took place to coincide with the movie's promoted commercial release, it's now my pleasure to announce that "Bermuda Island" will be enjoying a brief theatrical run through Cinelounge Cinemas™:

http://www.cineloungefilm.com/movies/312189-bermuda-island

Commencing at 3:30pm PST on Sunday, January 22nd, at the Arena venue (located at 6464 Sunset Boulevard, Hollywood, California), to be presented upon the Sunset screen, tickets are available for purchase here:

http://ticketing.uswest.veezi.com/purchase/10825...

Following, at 6:00pm PST on Monday, January 23rd, at the Tiburon venue (located at 40 Main Street, Tiburon, California), to be shown on the Lagoon Room screen, with tickets available here:

http://ticketing.uswest.veezi.com/purchase/10644...

If you should happen to be in either area on these specified dates, please consider swinging by to maybe attend a session.

Monday, May 1st, 2023 (15:51) Exciting news: for those who have hitherto been hesitant to splash out on the cost of a rental, Gravitas Ventures™ has now made "Bermuda Island" available on the Tubi™ ad-supported streaming service for FREE:

http://www.tubitv.com/movies/100002715

What's more, it's currently available in Australia (along with other territories) in addition to The States!  Still hoping for an Aussie physical release, but will have to keep you posted on developments regarding that possibility...

Wednesday, March 13th, 2024 (15:51) 2024 UPDATE: whilst in the process of conducting routine quadrennial housekeeping, it has come to my attention that I neglected to reference a number of supplementary viewing options available to audiences.  Being that this is the case, I should like to recommend that, in addition to those already outlined, "Bermuda Island" is furthermore at one's disposal through the following streaming platforms:

Prime Video™: http://www.primevideo.com/detail/0OS372M1QT70SSLKH27LTKLG0X

hoopla Digital™: http://www.hoopladigital.com/title/15703895

Xumo Play™: http://play.xumo.com/free.../bermuda-island/XM0DYPIXDCDBX1

Cineverse™: http://stream.cineverse.com/.../1000000021809/1000000021809

Plex™: http://watch.plex.tv/movie/bermuda-island

With still no word on the prospect of physical media outside of the United States market at this stage...

Sunday, March 24th, 2024 (15:51) Further housekeeping has yielded the following:

Gravitas Ventures™: http://www.gravitasmovies.com/det.../Bermuda-Island/C7RlXKsn

Freecable TV™: http://www.freetv-app.com/.../bermuda-island-webChannel...

In my haste to publish, I neglected to mention these prior...

[asexual-abomination]

Hi!! You write so good!! If requests are still open, I was wondering if you could write something about the reader living with the Zoldycks. How would they treat them? Are they protective of the reader, or do they not like them? Thank you!

Okay, this request confused me for a while because I wasn't quite sure what it meant.

There may be some formatting issues with this since I copied it and the copy seems to have come out strangely! Please forgive!

Here's the scenario I landed on eventually:

One member of the Zoldyck family has brought home the reader (who is autistic, because that's the point of this blog) for some part of a job or something, and while the rest of the family thinks they're an annoyance at first, they find themselves liking and growing protective of them over time.

I'm so sorry this request took so so long, I just couldn't find motivation for it for a long while!

Sorry if this wasn't quite what you were requesting, feel free to send in something more specific if it wasn't right! Hope you enjoy reading! -----

Zeno Zoldyck

Upon arrival

Seeing as he was the one who brought you to the mountain, he took it as his responsibility to keep you safe from the murderous intent of the other inhabitants

He introduces you to the rest of the family in a meeting, at which point they express their displeasure for your intrusion

He’s quick to shut them up, but also finds it quite amusing how hard you were trying to be respectful even in the face of terrifying assassins (whether you knew it or not)

Leaves the responsibility of choosing a butler for you to Illumi, since he’s the one who interacts with them most often

While you stay

Once you’re over the “Why have I been kidnapped am I gonna die” phase, he actually finds you quite a pleasure to talk to

One of the few places that you’re allowed to be (almost) completely alone with your thoughts is while you sit and read in his room

If you have any sort of fascination with any of the bespoke furniture that his room contains, he’s happy to tell you all about it, since he also enjoys reading up on such histories

Surprisingly doesn’t consider you weak immediately.

Well, obviously he knows that there’s no way you could ever beat him in a fight, but he also doesn’t immediately write you off as a weakling like most others who cross his path

You have a strength to your conviction, and he likes that in a person

Is definitely observant of the changes in behavior within his family, and smirks whenever he notices them warming up to you

He’ll begin taking his role as your main guardian more and more seriously over time, to the point where when he isn’t out on a job, he’ll be trailing quietly nearby to ensure nothing untoward happens to his dear charge

When you leave

Of course he didn’t think that you would stay forever, but he didn’t think that he would ever grow so fond of someone that wasn’t either family or physically strong

And yet here we are

As he gears up the dragon on which you will be flown back to a forest near your home, and left to find your own way back without guidance, he feels a moment of worry

Not just worry that he might die on a job or lose income from losing one of his children or grandchildren, but deep-seated, genuine worry for another person’s wellbeing

He had to do something about this feeling

No matter what, he knew that if you returned home safely and quietly, he may never have a reason to interact with you again

Remembering how the feelings of his family had changed, he also realized that they might be upset as well

Of course they’d never voice it once, such is the Zoldyck way, but such stress might cause a rift within the family, even bigger than it was now

So he knew that, in the end, there was no way that you could be allowed to leave Zoldyck grounds

Silva Zoldyck

Upon arrival

As I said before, he originally planned to have you held by the butlers, so when you first show up to stay in his actual house there is no end to his irritation

He won’t bemoan your presence, but you’ll feel personally victimised by his dead stare

While he initially dislikes you no matter what, if you’re polite and respectful of his status to some extent, he may feel slightly more lenient towards you at first

While you stay

He spends most of his time in his guarded room, and won’t allow you in for a long time

But when he does need to leave his room and speak with the family, he finds himself strangely fascinated by you

You certainly strike him as different than anyone else he has had to protect for a job (even though that isn’t often) and he wants to better understand why that is

(For educational reasons, of course)

Getting to his heart will take a long while, since it will be done entirely on his schedule

He takes to passively observing you quite often, at every family dinner, you’ll feel the eyes of this beast of a man on the side of your head as he ponders to himself why he feels so connected to you

It’s when he sees you getting along with his children that he decides that he now owns you, not wanting to let go of something that makes him feel such a way

When you leave

He is probably the least direct about wanting to keep you

He has an image to maintain, and while his eccentric father may have the guts to do whatever he sees fit, Silva doesn’t

Not to say he doesn’t have guts, just not in the sense of immediately resorting to kidnapping you without warning

He would be much more pleased if you choose to stay, but will never state it out loud

In the days leading up to your departure, the few times he speaks to you will be laced with thinly-veiled threats

“Those people who were after you might still be out there” “Will you really be able to handle yourself once we drop you off in the middle of nowhere?”

He’s not trying to scare you, but... that’s exactly what he’s doing

Kikyo Zoldyck

Upon arrival

Frankly, no one in the household is more furious than her

She dedicated her whole life to becoming and raising her children to be the best assassins on the planet, worthy of calling this mountain home, and some random fool is allowed to waltz in without even passing the testing gate??

Preposterous!

It’s made worse by the fact that you’ll be residing in close contact with her, if you were just staying with the butlers she likely couldn’t have cared less

On Zeno’s order, she won’t be cruel to you, but even the densest person on Earth would be able to feel her venomous glare underneath her visor the entire time

While you stay

Probably the most upset if you have positive interactions with her children, especially Killua

She thinks you’re trying to befriend them, which is obviously off limits

Her master plan to stop that from happening ends up backfiring on her immensely

She pulls you away by *kindly* offering to take walks with you around the estate, finding it a simple, yet effective method of drawing your time away from potentially befriending her children

She’ll also offer you a traditional tea time, where you both sip and eat snacks and “gossip” (as much as you can given the situation)

She didn’t account for enjoying her time with you

While she can be snappy, she holds etiquette and chivalry in very high regard, and would never be rude to a houseguest without immediate reason

Whether you’re talkative or quiet, or a mix of both, you’ll be a sharp contrast in company from the rest of the household, something she likely hasn’t experienced in years

Resulting in an odd connection that she really didn’t want to feel

Once she finally realises that she likes you, you’ll be allowed to speak with her children more freely, but she’ll expect to have her daily walk and tea time with you no matter what

When you leave

The most openly distraught, it took so long to accept that she liked your company, and here you are about to leave?

Preposterous!

Although, in true Zoldyck fashion she won’t mention her irritation once, she’ll be subtly (as subtly as she is capable of) speaking with Zeno and Silva about potentially keeping you around

Tries not so subtly giving you a “parting gift” that’s incredibly expensive and personal to guilt trip you into wanting to stay, at least to try and pay her back

Illumi Zoldyck

Upon arrival

On the surface, he’ll be as blank as ever, not expecting any real changes in the household with your presence

But he’ll have a watchful eye out for his sibling’s reactions to you, especially Killua’s

Probably more likely to confront his siblings than you if he notices anything he doesn’t like

But he’ll give you a cryptic warning to keep your distance if he considers you the problem

While you stay

Obviously he’ll have a watchful eye over any of your interactions with his siblings, but unlike his mother, he won’t pull you away directly

(I have a slight headcanon that Illumi is autistic or at least neurodivergent himself, so I’ll include some of that here)

Probably would notice the way you hold yourself at first, if you go to “raptor arms” instinctually when you’re anxious, he’ll feel an odd connection with you

He’s been trained over the years to avoid similar instincts when he’s upset, so he’ll almost start to try and live through you when you show autistic traits without really realising it

The moment that most massively changes his opinion of you is when you happen to be alone together

Up to that point, he believes that you are nothing more than an incredibly temporary nuisance on his family’s property

But a few moments alone with you gives him ample space to think about the ways in which you make him feel almost happy and content

And decides that since you’ve likely behaved well, you’re a good influence on him, and by extension, his family

When you leave

Certainly the most forward about the fact that he wants you to stay

“You don’t think you’re really leaving, do you?” All said with that creepy big smile

You’ll try to convince yourself that he’s trying to joke with you, or at least just being his usual weird self, but it’s so difficult to tell what tone he’s trying to take at the best of times, and you’ve never seen him like this before

You’ll brush him off and probably end up avoiding him, which will only end up inciting his worse stalker tendencies

Though when it comes to his grandfather getting ready to you home, he would never argue with actions of his superiors, so he’ll starting setting up a way to watch over you long after you’ve left

That is, should you ever leave at all

Milluki Zoldyck

Upon arrival

Likely to be the last one you meet, since he keeps himself isolated and wouldn't care for someone new

If I'm being completely honest, unless someone else on the property felt the need to mention your arrival to him, he wouldn't even know

When you do encounter him, on one of his few trips out of his room for some family dinner, he's going to be over-dramatic about it for sure

"Who's this weirdo you've just let into our house? What do you mean they're a guest?"

He'll probably give you an odd look, but as you're sat with him at the dinner table, he'll have to tolerate your presence civilly (lest he face the wrath of his mother)

The thing that will start any sort of relationship with him is expressing any sort of interest in something he enjoys

You don't even have to feel particularly strongly about it, but he's so excited to have interaction about his interests with someone who isn't online

While you stay

You showing interest in something he enjoys, for example one of the many shows that he obsesses over, is only the start of what he likes about you

He won't let you into his room, at least not straight away, but he'll give you some kind of communication as fast as possible

You probably won't be allowed a phone, but he can get you some sort of modified phone that only contacts family members

Your relationship with Milluki will be dictated by how much Kikyo likes you, but once you're on good terms with her, you'll have access to pretty much anything you want through either of them

They're pretty similar in many respects; they'll exchange spoiling you for time spent keeping them company

A major turning point in the household, whether good or bad, is when he steps out of his room exclusively to speak with you, something practically never-before-seen

You keep him happy by chatting with him about his shows, and if he is in charge of punishing his younger siblings often as the show suggests, they'll thank you for it, since he has a lot less pent-up rage than before

When you leave

He will not stand for this!

Much like his mother, he'll be buying all sorts of things to convince you to stay (most of which will contain hidden cameras that feed directly to the screens in his room at all times)

Unlike Illumi, he will directly talk to his parents and Zeno, trying to convince them to let you stay, but he'll be a tsundere about it

"I've already spent a bunch of money keeping them entertained! They need to stay to... to pay me back!"

Yeah we all believe that

Killua Zoldyck

Upon arrival

You'll struggle to get in any interaction with him, what with the watchful eyes of his mother and eldest brother on you like hawks the entire time

He has a similar attitude to Zeno, genuine excitement for time spent with someone other than his oppressive family

He knows he's not allowed to have friends, technically, but he's still a kid, and any unique experience or interaction is going to be appealing to him

While you stay

As you may guess, your ability to befriend him, or really have any interaction with him at all, is dependent at first on your relationship with his family, particularly his mother and brother

So you'll need some patience if you want to capture his heart

Once you have gained the trust of Kikyo and Illumi, a very strange shift will occur

They will actively encourage you to speak with him and give him positive interactions, thinking a connection between you and Killua could be a good excuse to keep you bound to Zoldyck grounds.

But any real relationship between the two of you won't develop from the pushing of his family

Instead, most of what he likes about you stems from his fascination with the outside world, as you teach him things about the world from a perspective that he had never been trained to think of

That is what will make him certain he wishes to keep you

When you leave

Takes a leaf from his father's book in these final days

Constantly bringing up the ever present danger you were hiding from, asking you in not so subtle tones if you really think you shouldn't be afraid anymore

There is so much training he must participate in, in addition to spending time with Alluka, that he usually only has mere moments to spare for you, even after he takes a liking to you

But in those final days, he'll try to take as much time as possible to appreciate your presence, since by this point, he's barely learned the concept of truly standing up to his superiors, and he truly thinks that you're going to disappear the next day

It saddens him deeply, to think that you will be lost, but he makes a silent oath to himself that he will find you again, the second that he gets himself some freedom from his annoying family

Alluka/Nanika Zoldyck

Upon Arrival

Depending on whether or not they've been locked in the basement by this point, you may not even know that they exist until you grow close with Killua

He'll be sure to tell them everything about you, since he likes to keep them updated when he can

They grow quite interested in meeting with you, but the other members of the family who may have already become protective of you will be strongly against it for a very long time

While you stay

You'll only meet Alluka near the end of your stay, as Killua decides that he wants you to meet his favorite siblings

They'll be happy for any company that isn't either Killua's, or some butler who couldn't even give their name's, so be prepared to be cuddled and sat with plushies for what feels like days on end

If you've gotten Killua to take a liking to you, these two will warm up immediately, and Nanika will even make a personal appearance to introduce themselves to you, though you needn't worry for the prospect of them forcing you into a wish

When you leave

Unfortunately, they can't really express any upset from their place deep underground when they first hear that you might be taken away

But if anyone wants to make a wish that might keep you nearby, they would charge no price

They would seek you out in your last days on the grounds, basically treating you to puppy eyes from both Alluka and Nanika, trying to convince you to stay

Kalluto Zoldyck

Upon arrival

Given that he clings to his mother's side quite often, he probably won't care too much for you when you first arrive

Since Kikyo doesn't like you at first, no matter the circumstances, she'll probably pull Kalluto away from you for a while, meaning that he won't have chance to interact with you for some time

Which leaves him with a childish curiosity to find out more before you leave

While you stay

While you're on your walks with Kikyo, you won't be able to notice his perfectly concealed presence trailing not too far behind

Before Kikyo decides she likes you, she won't mention his presence when she senses him, thinking he's just practicing his stealth

But once you've finally won her favor, she'll call out to him, inviting him to join you

He actually started liking you during the stalking phase, thinking you were such a sharp contrast from the horror of his family, but he'll only try to reach out to you once his mother has given permission

He can't really reach the same level of spoiling that Kikyo and Milluki can, but as a peaceful gesture, he'll give you personalised origami pieces

(hat allow him to spy on you with Nen)

You'll feel pretty safe around him, since he's the most harmless-seeming member of the family, but there will be an edge of fear should you ever happen to witness his training

When you leave

Another case of puppy dog eyes, but he's a bit more subtle about it

Where Alluka and Nanika will happily resort to tears and sniffling, Kalluto takes too much pride in his appearance to do that

Instead he'll guilt trip you with words

If you've witnessed his training, he'll use it against you

"You know how much they put me through :(. You're one of the only things I like nowadays :(. You can't just leave me :(."

If there's absolutely nothing he thinks he can do, he'll make sure you take one of his origami pieces with you when you leave

----- Thanks for reading!

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

Thank you sm! I love ur view of the Silm characters. As that is the case, any Maedhros headcanons?

no thank-yous necessary, it's really my pleasure! i'm just flattered that you feel so positively towards my interpretations :)

same format approach as before: tamer headcanons are above the cut and the grimmer/more graphic stuff is underneath.

he has pretty large age differences with most of his brothers, so his role tended much more towards the parental than the sibling-y.

at Valinor-era family functions, he was always designated caretaker for the younger crowd.

as a result, he found it a lot harder to make friends with his younger cousins because they tended to not really see him as a peer (he and Fingon originally got close because they both got the i-love-my-younger-siblings-but-sometimes-i-wish-i-were-an-only-child thing).

in fact, other than Fingon, most of his cousins don't really like him (authority figure, no fun, blah blah blah), which was kind of rough for Mae to deal with as a teenager.

he's the most into traditional scholarship out of all his siblings! pre-Beleriand, he was the kind of person who would write a dissertation for fun.

he originally wanted to go into academia or medicine, not politics.

he loves animals, though he's pretty quiet about it because it's kind of Celegorm's thing and Celegorm a. doesn't like sharing and b. it feels like intruding

he isn't charismatic or charming in a typical way. i think he's actually pretty shy and awkward! Maglor tries to coach him into being suave, but it never sticks. but he's funny (once you can get him past monosyllables,) and he's kind, and he's good-looking, which makes up for a lot in the eyes of Valinorean society

he starts putting a lot more effort into appearing "nice" and "approachable" post-Thangorodrim, because he has to counteract fear rather than extra attention based on how he looks.

he loves music and singing but isn't especially talented at it. he mostly just listens.

he adores children and wanted to have a family growing up

Nerdanel is his go-to parent for advice. he keeps consulting her in his head up to the end of his life.

post-Angband, he's almost completely blind in one eye and can't see in the dark from either one, due to parts of his eyes being removed as experiments and resulting infections. glasses don't help very much, but he wears them anyways in social situations to seem less intimidating.

he hoards food in secret for most of his adult life. he got so used to never having enough that he can never relax, even when resources are plentiful.

he feels responsible for his brothers swearing the Oath, as well as for their actions in pursuit of it, even the ones he had no part in. he's a relentless self-flagellator over almost anything bad that ever happens and will willingly take blame any time it's offered.

he makes health sacrifices in favor of trying to look "stronger" and provide more reassurance to his follower. he's always pushing past his physical limits (i.e. he almost never walks with a cane, he goes out on patrol more times than his soldiers, he purposely stays in rooms on upper floors so he has to climb stairs, etc.)

he honestly hopes he's going to the Void when he dies. he thinks he deserves it and it's what's best for the world, because he's obviously a cowardly, destructive, weak person and shouldn't be able to hurt anyone else.

the only promise he ever broke to Fingon was to not blame himself if Fingon died.

over the years in Beleriand, his relationships with his brothers gradually get worse and worse--they resent that he's kind of a broken record about everything being their fault, and he's afraid of hurting them by being too close.

anyways, i hope you liked these! feel free to share any of your own too! :)

[shingia]

hi alma 💖 hope your day is/was good!!

i love your blog and as i saw your requests are open could i have some headcanons or short fics (whatever format you think fits best) for oikawa, akaashi, atsumu and sakusa with an airheaded/teasy s/o? like someone who would come up randomly to them and just poke them/kiss their forehead and stuff like that.

tysm!! please feel free not to do my request if you don't like it! love u 💖💖🤍

✗ AIRHEADED, TEASY S/O HCS

hi !! my day was rly good, i hope yours was too <33 here are hcs for your request (that i loved btw) and thank you for your kind words, i really appreciate it ! love u too ! 💗

-> oikawa, akaashi, atsumu, sakusa

— OIKAWA

• ohh oikawa is a sucker for these kind of displays of affection, especially if they’re random

• he’s definitely not afraid of pda so please feel free to kiss him without any warning, it’ll make him kinda proud actually

• he has no problem with brushing off his team’s snarky comments, because he honestly couldn’t care less about them when you’re here being so entertaining (because yes, you genuinely entertain him)

• so yeah it’s all fun and games for the two of you, except for that one time…

• after his practice, you went behind his back to poke both his cheeks, without knowing that his mouth was full of water

• obviously he spat it all out, and that would have been perfectly fine. if only iwaizumi hadn’t been standing in front of him

• let’s just say that the two of you had never run so fast

• like i said, oikawa loves all your silly affectionate gestures but if he had to choose a favorite, it’d be the super short but super tight hugs you always give him when his back is turned on you

• every once in a while, he manages to grab hold of your arms before you can pull away, and makes you stay glued to him for as long as he wants

• « don’t start what you can’t finish, darling »

— AKAASHI

• akaashi is definitely surprised at first, and he’s a bit startled every time you tease him like that, mainly because you often do it out of the blue

• but after a few weeks, he starts to develop a big sense of satisfaction whenever he receives one of your random kisses, pokes or even little tickles

• because he loves to know that you’re comfortable enough around him to do that

• although this doesn’t mean he does not raise his eyebrows every time you sneak up on him for a hug, but it’s always followed by a blushy smile, that’s for sure

• « where are you getting at ? » he asks, cheeks tinged red. his flustered tone brings a smirk to your lips, that immediately end up on his. « i don’t know, you tell me, keiji »

• he might not answer these when he’s in public but trust me when i tell you this man can and will give you a taste of your own medicine at some point

• also, it is physically impossible to resist the urge of kissing his chubby cheeks when he eats. overall it’s really hard to resist his cheeks

• his favorite thing ever is when you kiss and squeeze them at the same time

• a close second is when he’s sitting down and you come to rest your chin on top of his head, bonus point if you have your hands on his cheeks (again those damned cheeks)

• he doesn’t even care if you do it in front of the whole team, he just lets you do your thing and quietly appreciates it

— ATSUMU

• in all honesty, atsumu probably giggles like a three years old whenever you’re randomly poking/kissing him

• it’s either that or he gives you overly confident winks

• at first he thought these gestures were your way to ask for cuddles (which was not entirely wrong), but when he found out that you also just liked to tease him for the sake of fun, he was astounded

• you obviously know he’s super competitive by nature, so expect him to keep score : poke his sides once and he’ll give it back to you tenfold

• it’s pretty rare that your random bursts of affection stop once you’ve done what you wanted to do. because he always follow up with something else, and so do you… before you know it, you’re either making out or bickering, no in between

• his favorite thing is probably when you give him a peck on the corner of his lips purposely - as cliché as it sounds, it definitely gives him butterflies. and that’s probably why he likes it so much

• since atsumu’s pretty comfortable with pda, feel free to randomly grab his hand and put it on top of your head, he’ll know that you expect him to play with your hair

• also : smack ! his ! butt ! in ! public (plz)

• just don’t be afraid of getting yours smacked in return

— SAKUSA

• ok now you gotta be careful with that one, because it can backfire really quickly

• sakusa probably has very sharp reflexes when it comes to predicting your actions. it’s like he can feel your aura moving around him or something

• one time you tried to boop his nose but he grabbed your wrist before you could even extend your arm

• « hands are washed ? » he asked, suspiciously glaring at you. « of course they are » you answered with an excited smile as he let go of his grip

• sakusa kiyoomi’s nose was booped multiple times that day.

• he rolled his eyes a lot but got genuinely concerned when you started doing it less frequently

• tbh he didn’t realize how much he liked you being an affectionate dork before that

• he’s not really prompt to answer your gestures most of the time, but he appreciates all of them. all of them

• even that time you almost gave him a heart attack when you ran to him for a back hug after one of his matches (his elbow was this close to hitting your nose)

• his guilty pleasure is definitely forehead kisses, but he refuses to admit it - although it’s pretty obvious considering that he can’t help but chuckle everytime

• only problem is that he can only get them when he’s sitting or laying down :/

@toworuu @catwithangerissues

[bring-it-all-down]

I think it’s easy to think of Vane’s season one arc as being out of place with the rest of his time on the show, but I’d like to offer an alternative understanding. I think that Vane’s arc is an extremely cohesive examination of Hobbes’s social contract theory that begins with its acceptance and ends with its complete rejection. This is a rather lengthy analysis, but it’s one that people might find interesting if not compelling.

Hobbes’s Social Contract Theory

Central to Hobbes’s conception of political life are four terms: liberty, equality, fear, and power. Liberty for Hobbes is “the absence of external impediments” such as water being enclosed by riverbanks or humans being chained to something (xiv). This conception of liberty is purely physical, detailing a relationship between concrete things. Next, Hobbes understands equality as being the equal ability of one to kill another; there is no natural inequality among human beings as anyone has the power to kill any other person, either through strength of body or of mind, or of some combination of the two. Because everybody has equal power over everyone else’s life and one’s ability to be free, Hobbes states, “they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man” (XIII). This condition necessarily leads to “continual fear, and danger of violent death” (xiii).  

Finally, Hobbes defines power as the ability to acquire some future good. This conception of power stems from the fact that there is no private property in Hobbes’s state of nature: “It is consequent also to the same condition that there be no propriety, no dominion, no mine and thine distinct; but only that to be every man’s that he can get, and for so long as he can keep it” (XIII). Power, according to Hobbes, manifests itself in two ways: natural or instrumental. Natural power is acquisition through using physical characteristics like strength and intelligence, whereas instrumental acquisition requires one to use one’s reputation, friends, good luck, etc. 

It is this fear of death and desire for acquisition that leads us to form political communities, which is our natural end; we are meant to live in communities. These communities form when their members “confer all their power and strength upon one man, or upon one assembly of men, that may reduce all their wills, by plurality of voices, unto one will” (xvii). This singular power, known as the Leviathan, is absolute; it cannot be transferred to another body (no separation of powers) or forfeited, and there is no power above it. The Leviathan enforces this power by tying its subjects through “fear of punishment to the performance of their covenants,” namely their covenant to live peacefully with one another (xvii). 

While the Leviathan’s power is absolute in theory, Hobbes does allow for its dissolution if it becomes too arbitrary or capricious on the ground that it would then plunge a civil society back into the state of nature, from which point they would be allowed to choose a new sovereign. However, because the state of nature is so feared, people are highly unlikely to dissolve the Leviathan’s power. This, then, is how authoritarian states justify their power.

In this account of the social contract theory of government, we see the relationship among liberty, equality, fear, and power. In order for people to fully exercise their liberty and power, their fear must be redirected from one another toward a singular entity. This creation of an unequal civil society is what allows for the development of private property, as well as concepts like justice and morality, which are absent in the state of nature due to the lack of agreed upon definitions. 

Vane’s Season 1 Arc

Initially, Vane appears to embrace a Hobbesian conception of the state of nature. His season 1 arc, I believe, is his embrace of Hobbes’s state of nature through the confrontation of the two people who hold power over him: Eleanor and his enslaver. After Eleanor gets him deposed as captain of the Ranger, he tells Idelle, “No captain on this island's ever known that kind of power. Power that doesn't care how many votes you can tally, who loves you, who hates you, who fears you...none of us have any right to hate her for it. She's strong and we're weak. That's the reality of things here. And no one down there is strong enough to change anything” (1.05). Here, Vane reduces things to power. Eleanor has the power to acquire private property and to cut off pirates from doing the same, and so people––including Vane––fear her. To them, she is a quasi-Leviathan figure. However, Nassau exists more as a state of nature than it does as a civil society, and so the possibility of being her equal remains.

While Eleanor threatens Vane’s power, he doesn’t fear her in the same way he fears his enslaver, Albinus, who threatens his life. This constant fear of Albinus manifests itself in Vane hallucinating Albinus’s presence in Nassau. This vision causes Vane to realize that if he is to become equal to Eleanor, he must first become equals with Albinus. He initially seeks to overtake Albinus through taking away his other slaves. He pitches Nassau to them as a place “where strong men live lives of pleasure, not labor, a place where you could be feared and respected once again” (1.07). For Vane, the pleasure comes through realizing one’s equality and thus one’s ability to instill fear rather than have fear instilled in them. As is typical in the state of nature, Vane’s relationship with Albinus ends first with Albinus believing he killed Vane and then with Vane actually killing Albinus. 

Vane’s conversation with Jack upon his return to Nassau cements his role as a Hobbesian figure. He tells Jack, “In some ways, Jack, it had to come to this, don't you think?...Me deciding if you live or die” (1.08). Over the course of the season, Vane has increasingly reduced relationships to the ability one has to kill the other and the fear such ability instills in people. Following a Hobbesian model, then, we would expect Vane to think the formation of civil society with a Leviathan figure to be good, but this is not where his season 2 and 3 arcs go.

Vane’s Season 2 Arc

Indeed, Vane quite explicitly rejects Hobbesian social contract theory. While Hobbes argues that humans are driven toward society in part because of a natural “desire of such things as are necessary to comfortable living” (xiii), Vane says to Flint, “‘Give us your submission, and we will give you the comfort you need.’ No, I can think of no measure of comfort worth that price” (3.08). For Vane, then, living in the “pre-political” Nassau is better than submitting to the power of the state. This is the case because no such “state of nature” exists; there will always be a state attempting to impose its authority on Nassau.

Vane’s separation from Hobbesian political thought, then, begins as a matter of practicality. He does not abandon fear of death as the starting point, but he expands his thought beyond himself. It is no longer simply his own fear of death that drives him, but the fear within his fellow pirates of that same death. After he learns that Charlestown has captured and will kill Flint he tells his and Flint’s crew that “Nassau is strongest when she’s feared. And if what promises to happen here tomorrow actually happens, a trophy made of one of her most notorious captains, she may never be feared again” (2.09). He reiterates this point to his quartermaster, who is concerned that his crew will kill Flint’s crew to steal the Man of War: “Tell them if this ship tries to run on a skeleton crew, they’re going to get chased, they’re going to get caught, and they’re going to get killed” (2.10). It is not fear of one another, then, that drives Vane toward a community but rather fear of the authority of the state. While he and Flint are equals, he realizes that neither is equal to the state, England, and if they remain as individuals, the state will kill them one by one.

Flint’s (and then Vane’s) trial stands as an example of a Hobbesian state; the lawmakers are the executors are the jury. All sovereign authority is placed in the hands of one body with no authority above it. When confronted with this example, Vane comes to conceptualize of community as the only means of instilling fear in the state; as the state is unified, so must be the pirates. 

In accord with Flint telling him “we remind them that they were right to be afraid,” he provides a refutation of Hobbesian sovereignty for the audience: “these men convinced you that they speak for you, that the power you’ve given them is used in your interests. That the prisoner before you is your enemy and they your friends. For those of you who live to see tomorrow... know that you had a choice to see the truth and you let yourselves be convinced otherwise” (2.10). He reminds them that they’ve granted the sovereign power on the basis of it working toward their collective good and can thus conceivably revoke said power. He then illustrates that the sovereign cannot fulfill its purpose of providing for their safety against the threat of pirates and therefore the covenant on which the sovereign’s authority is based is inherently faulty. He pokes metaphorical holes in Hobbes’s contract theory of government before he pokes literal holes in Charlestown with his canons.

Vane’s Season 3 Arc

Vane’s season 3 arc offers an alternative foundation for civil society than fear and desire for property: friendship. When Vane confronts Jack in the first episode of the season for lying to Vane about using slave labor to rebuild the fort when Vane stood up for Jack against Flint, Jack lays it out for Vane: “you and I had been through enough shit for you to know that I would do the same for you, that I have done the same for you, and would again without hesitation. I made a commitment to you, with you, to restore this place, to make it strong again...Please know that I meant no slight by it. No lack of respect or friendship. It's quite the opposite” (3.01). Vane is certainly right to be angry about enslaving people, but Jack is correct in reminding him that this new effort to free Nassau has as its basis friendship and mutual respect.

At this point, however, Vane does not yet understand what friendship entails. For that, he needs to confront his understanding of friendship, which he does through the return of Edward Teach to Nassau. The conception of friendship Vane learned from Teach is simply to let people live when you could have killed them. Teach did this for Vane when Vane betrayed him for Eleanor, and he did it for Jack after Jack lost the pearls in the ocean, and it was his offer to Eleanor after she betrayed him by freeing Abigail from him. 

When Teach offers to defend Nassau if afterwards Vane sails with him away from Nassau forever, he outlines what their relationship is: “I do not seek your partnership because I am too weak to defend myself. I don't seek it to protect my things or to increase profit...There is an instinct to leave behind something made in one's own image. Nature has denied me the ability, it would seem, but not the need” (3.03). This understanding of their relationship rejects the fundamental Hobbesian basis for such things––it’s not fear of death or desire for acquisition––and instead points toward a desire for a certain kind of immortality. However, this relationship still fundamentally falls within a Hobbesian conception of the family which is artificially constructed in civil society and which requires the children to obey and honor their fathers. Therefore, this, too, is a relationship not based on friendship.

It is Jack’s conversation with Vane before he leaves with Teach that offers Vane a different kind of friendship. Despite Woodes Rogers’ early arrival ruining their plans to defend Nassau and the target placed not only on Vane but on all pirates close to him, Jack refuses to leave with Vane. His refusal is predicated on the fact that he desires freedom: “Teach respects you...but me, I have no interest in living as a target of his….Nor would I be a ward of yours. I've made something for myself here. I'll make it again somehow, but I've come too far to go back” (3.04). Here, Jack presents friendship as a type of equality predicated on freedom. Friendship must be a choice rather than the obligation to repay a debt, and it must result in some type of good for the parties beyond the acquisition of material goods. Jack refuses to go with Vane because his desire to make something of himself is greater than his desire to live a subservient life.

Flint reiterates this notion of freedom to Vane when he comes to ask him to rejoin the effort to free Nassau from England. Vane tells him “my pledge to him began a long time before I ever knew your name. What I owe him…” (3.06). In response, Flint says this project is too important to be clouded by any of that: “Forget me, forget Teach, forget loyalty, compacts, honor, debts, all of it. The only question that matters is this. Who are you?” (3.06). While Hobbes defines liberty in relation to external impediments, both Jack and Flint understand it as something greater than that, something that points inward and moves beyond the desire for safety or the terms of contracts, be they written or otherwise.

After being presented with this understanding a second time, Vane finally accepts it as true. He leaves with Flint to join the revolution. He allows himself to be arrested in order to free Jack. He does all of this on the basis of this new understanding of friendship. When Jack asks why he came back to Nassau, Vane jokingly tells him, “got worried you two'd be lost without me,” but it’s more sincere than joke (3.08). He is committed fully to liberating Nassau not to return it to the days of Teach but to provide it as a counter to the social contract theory of civil society. His final speech before being hanged reveals this shift in his political thought:

These men who brought me here today do not fear me. They brought me here today because they fear you. Because they know that my voice, a voice that refuses to be enslaved, once lived in you. And may yet still. They brought me here today to show you death and use it to frighten you into ignoring that voice. But know this. We are many. They are few. To fear death is a choice. And they can't hang us all (3.09). 

He has gone from believing the fear of death to be the greatest fear, the motivator for all human action, to somebody choosing to let civilization kill him. He does this because he now knows there are things worse than death and things greater than physical freedom. He does this because he understands that he owes his fellow pirates the chance to obtain this freedom for themselves. He does this because he has come to recognize that friendship is the act of helping people better themselves.

Conclusion

Vane’s arc therefore acts as a critique of Hobbesian social contract theory. He demonstrates that the sovereign’s power is based on an illegitimate conception of human nature that emphasizes the desire to dominate others. But he also illustrates the fundamental problems with living in a pre-political community attempting to exist outside of the sovereign power. Through his arc, then, we are presented with the fact that a legitimate society based on true friendship in achieving the good of all is not only possible but is worth the sacrifice of one’s life.

[fabricated-misslieness]

Hello! May I request sfw/nfsw hcs for Corpse (or Sykkuno) x Male reader please? If not that's cool, I hope you have a wonderful day! - 🥀

Corpse Husband and Sykkuno x male reader

Ah, back to my normal format-- WAIT A WILTED FLOWER ANON

Requested: Yes

SFW & NSFW Relationship Headcanons with Corpse and Sykkuno

Corpse Husband

SFW

My man’s got drip, so if you don’t got drip, he’s probably going to help you dress up.

Imagine matching outfits with Corpse, that’d be so cool.

Painting your nails together is nice bonding time.

He doesn’t go out in public very often, so if you don’t either, that’s great. That said, if you do go out, you’re probably going out together.

Crippling social anxiety ain’t going to stand going outside alone

Corpse doesn’t take care of himself well, so you have to. You’ve got to remind him to shower, brush his teeth, eat, and go to sleep for at least three hours. Don’t pressure him into trying more than three, cuz it’s hard, y’know? And help with the foil

You’ve got to help him with his issues, reassure him he’s good and that he’s enough.

If he’s feeling depressed, you’ve got cuddles for days, though you do have to get up sometime.

If you’re gen z, he'll quote a vine or tiktok and expect you to go along with him. If you don’t know the reference, you’ll get a feigned disappointed look and a small teasing comment.

Sometimes he starts singing his songs while he’s doing something, so follow along with him, it’s cute.

Stargazing and other edgy date ideas are his go-tos.

If you’re dating him and aren’t like a youtuber or internet personality, you’re not allowed in his youtube room. 

Maybe he’ll tell you he’s a youtuber, but even if he does, you’re still not allowed.

Coffee, always, every morning

You’re a tea person? Okay, but he’s not drinking any of your stuff, he’s drinking his dirty Earth beans, as Jack calls them.

You’re a coffee person? You wake up to a hot cup of coffee, but not breakfast.

Corpse needs you to cook for him, he’s not the best cook, certainly not the worst, but he likes your food.

Unless you suck at cooking, in that case, he’ll cook.

I don’t see him as much of a physical affection kinda person, apart from cuddling since it’s relaxing.

He’s fine with it cause it’s you, he won’t really take hugs or shake hands with strangers, but you’ve got to initiate everything apart from cuddles and kisses, unless he’s in some sort of love bug mood.

Sometimes he’ll just silently drag you to the bed or couch and plop himself in your lap.

You better get good at reading him, cause sometimes he wants something, but he doesn’t want to be a bother, but he really wants it-- it’s just a mess.

Help raise his self-esteem, too.

NSFW

Once again, you have to initiate everything.

I don’t imagine Corpse is very experienced in being bottom so you have to guide him.

He’ll probably feel like he’s being a nuisance to you, so you have to reassure him he isn’t.

The first time is awkward but once you get comfortable together, he’s good at it.

The first few times he’s a pillow baby, when you get comfortable he might be a brat sometimes. Most of the time, though, he’s a pillow baby.

Corpse loves to please you and do what you ask of him, but he has his boundaries, of course. Things like testing his flexibility too much, hard degrading, knife play, public sex, etc.

He’s probably into slight praise, since he’ll grow a bit desensitised to praise if you use it too much; choking, bondage, overstimulation, orgasm denial, and degrading. How can one be into degrading and praise at the same time, you ask?

✨mood✨

Would probably love you dirty talking to him and making him beg, too.

Favorite position is from behind because you can go deep and you won’t see his face. He gets a little embarrassed from his moans and your gaze on him.

He’s a mix between a moaner and a groaner, more of a moaner though. His moans in comparison to his voice are a way higher pitch, like his laugh to his voice, which is a fact that gets him a little embarrassed.

His voice makes dirty talking amazing, and so is his begging. (For reference, remember that one time he was saying “Please vote Rae” like he was desperate)

He likes receiving but he also loves giving, he gets to pleasure you and choke himself at the same time. His face going down on you is an absolute turn on, it’s so sexy, and the way he smirks up at you.

After care is just cuddles for him, since he feels a little lazy and doesn’t want to get up to clean himself up. He only will if you tell him to.

As for how often you have sex, it depends on you. The only times he’d initiate is sexual tension or special occasions.

Sykkuno

SFW

He’s inexperienced, since as he says “The ladies aren’t attracted to me.”, which they are but he doesn’t give himself enough credit.

He’s a cuddle bug if you’re alone. That said, he likes showing off that he’s yours in public by holding hands and kissing your cheek, but anything apart from that will render him into a blush.

Sensitive baby, so most pick up lines and flirting make him flustered.

Sykkuno is a disaster in planning dates, he finds a place he wants to go to but he thinks you wouldn’t want to go there, a place you’d like but you end up not liking it, some place you like but he doesn’t, he’s just a mess.

You’ve gotta take care of him, but not as much as Corpse. You have to make sure Sykkuno doesn’t forget to shower and that he eats nutritional meals, rather than only gamer or college student food.

Imagine dressing him up like a soft boy. He’d be so cute. The pastels already go so well with him.

The kisses he initiates are always soft and short and usually don’t drift off into anything else. Anything rougher than a normal kiss would drag out a small moan from his throat, making him embarrassed.

He likes hugging you from behind and resting his head on your back. If you turn around and hug him back, he’s a little flustered. If you nuzzle into him, he’ll get even more flustered.

Cuddles are usually spooning, laying his head on your lap or embracing with a soft blanket over the two of you.

He loves it when you play with his hair, it lulls him into a sleepy state.

Coming out to the internet entirely depends on you. Whether you want to or not, it’s your decision.

If you do, however, you’ll definitely be in plenty of videos, including OTV ones.

NSFW

Also inexperienced here, totally inexperienced.

You’re his guide. He’s a stuttering mess throughout the first few times, and he will always be, though just a little less.

There’s a lot of “umm”s and “uh, okay?” when he doesn’t understand.

Once you actually get to the fucking, he’s a total pillow baby. His moans are so pretty and he mewls and whines along with them.

They’re high pitched and loud, one after the other with small breath breaks.

He pants and sweats a lot from the beginning.

Usually, at the end he has small tears in his eyes. They’re not from pain or anything, they’re from all the pleasure you’re giving him.

He prefers receiving over giving since he doesn’t think he’s very good at giving, that said, his face going down on you is hella cute too.

He has tears in his eyes and his face is flushed red.

His ahegao face is just as beautiful, if not, even more.

Favorite positions would be riding, because he doesn’t want you to do everything, and from behind, because he’s embarrassed about the faces he makes, despite all the praise you give him.

Kinks would probably overstimulation and praise.

After care is totally up to you, since he’s too tired for anything. He will complain about how sticky he feels if you don’t want to get up either, which ultimately urges you to get up and help him.

How often you have sex depends on how Sykkuno is feeling, which could be entirely random.

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

Infodump/Long Post: Caffeine, Sugar, Dopamine, & ADHD

Hi. I’m Nico. I don’t usually infodump on here but Aiden did before & fellow neurodivergent people seemed to enjoy seeing nd centered content, & people gave him a lot of attention, so…

Here goes I guess. I hope y’all like it.

It’s gonna be a bit long but I found it fascinating so—

So first important thing is, this is based on research studies I found & theories I know, as well as my own observations, & may not be absolutely perfect because of that. But for the purpose of sharing information I’m going to tell you the theories & findings & build from there. Just bear in mind these aren’t set in stone & knowledge could change in the future - this is based on recent/current findings & understanding.

((& I don't want any arguing about the theories, the existence of ADHD, the addictive nature of caffeine/sugar (that's not the central topic here), or the way I formatted this in replies/reblogs please))

——

So many of you may know that ADHDers are affected differently by caffeine (coffee) than non-ADHDers (& neurotypicals). It’s actually been so consistent that I can tell if someone is ADHD or not based on their reaction to coffee - even before they’re diagnosed. It’s generally accepted that stimulants affect ADHDers differently. Coffee/caffeine usually puts ADHDers to sleep, or makes them drowsy, or makes them very focused, & it’s sometimes baffling as an ADHDer that some people can drink coffee to feel energized & jittery (it feels like a lie sometimes). That’s not to say that people who aren’t put to sleep by caffeine can’t have ADHD, but it’s very common to be put to sleep/calmed down by coffee.

Based on my personal experience with coffee, I’ve had a 20 ounce black coffee put me to sleep for four hours. I also, just yesterday, had a 20oz sugared latte & ended up hyperfocusing on this (topic of infodump), rewriting an intro template we made around a year ago, & writing stories (a special interest of mine) for around 6-8 hours total.

Now I think I might know why.

So I suspected the other day that maybe it had something to do with dopamine, & I did some research on how caffeine affects the brain. But because I also know sugared coffee (e.g. syrup-flavoured lattes, which is what I prefer) seem to have a different affect (especially depending on how much sugar you use), I looked into how sugar affects the brain too.

——

This is gonna use a few technical terms so I’ll explain them first for anyone who doesn’t know—

Adrenaline/Epinephrine: “A hormone your body can release (especially when you’re under stress) that increases blood circulation rate (quickens heart beat, strengthens force of heart’s contractions), breathing speed, & carbohydrate metabolism, & prepares your muscles to be used. It’s part of the human ‘fight or flight’ response to fear, panic, or perceived threat. An adrenaline rush can feel like anxiousness, nervousness, or pure excitement as your body & mind prepare for an event.”

Adrenaline Simplified - It gives you heightened energy, excitement, strength, & alertness, & a lot of it will make you jittery, anxious, or panicky.

Serotonin: A neurotransmitter compound which constricts the blood vessels and acts as a neurotransmitter. It’s responsible for influencing/stabilizing mood, feelings of well-being & happiness, cognition, reward, learning, memory, & numerous physiological processes (nausea & vasoconstriction (narrowing (constriction) of blood vessels by small muscles in their walls to slow blood flow)).

Serotonin Simplified - reduces depression, regulates anxiety, heals wounds, stimulates nausea, maintains bone health, helps with sleeping, eating, & digesting, & regulates happiness, well-being, & mood stability; it’s a soother & a happy chemical. A lot of it will make you extremely energetic & jittery.

Dopamine: “A neurotransmitter compound. When dopamine is released in large amounts, it creates feelings of pleasure (happiness, achievement) & reward, which motivates you to repeat specific behaviours; low levels of dopamine are linked to reduced motivation & decreased enthusiasm for things that would excite most people. It controls mental & emotional responses but also motor (physical) reactions. Known for being the “happy hormone”; responsible for the experience of happiness. The anticipation of most types of rewards typically increases the level of dopamine in the brain (anticipatory pleasure), & then you get a larger dose later when you get the reward.”

Dopamine Simplified - It’s your happiness/pleasure response to achievements, rewards, praise, etc. It functions as both motivation & reward, & when it’s functioning properly it’s what keeps you focused on tasks until they’re done.

Residual Dopamine: Dopamine that’s “floating” around in your brain, ready to be deployed as needed to motivate you & help you get through less fun tasks.

Temporary Dopamine: Dopamine that you get as a reward from things like beating a level in a video game, winning the lottery, etc. (accomplishments); is released after an accomplishment or event is over.

Note that typically, these chemicals (dopamine, serotonin, & adrenaline) are supposed to be balanced, & they’re supposed to be generally not very difficult to get. In mentally ill or some neurodivergent brains, however, these chemicals are imbalanced.

——

Now that the technical stuff is out of the way -

Caffeine lowers your serotonin levels, majorly increases dopamine, & releases adrenaline.

Sugar raises all three - serotonin, dopamine, AND adrenaline.

So sugared coffee will raise serotonin, dopamine, & adrenaline levels.

So how does that make them affect ADHDers differently?

——

This part is based on something called Low Arousal Theory (& no that’s not sexual).

Basically, the theory states that what makes an ADHDer appear inattentive or hyperactive has to do with dopamine in the brain - both how much we have & how easy it is to get it.

ADHDers, according to this theory, have lower residual dopamine. This causes an imbalance between dopamine and other neurotransmitter compounds/hormones.

Because of this, then, ADHDers have to rely on temporary hits of dopamine, both to focus & to boost their mood. There are often less ways we can get enough dopamine, since our brain doesn’t pre-produce enough & we thus need more dopamine total to be able to focus. So we end up hyperfocusing on anything that automatically gives large doses of dopamine - which usually ends up being things like TV shows (binge watching), video games (blackout hyperfocus where you play for hours & lose time), & social media (like, scroll, comment, scroll, lots of feedback/reward).

——

(Note in this case sugared coffee can mean coffee with sugar cubes/physical sugar added, coffee with sugary creamer added, coffee with milk added coffee with sugar syrup added, coffee with flavoured sugar syrup added, & coffee with any combination of those added (because those will all add at least a little sugar); & black coffee means coffee/espresso with not even milk added)

So if black coffee raises your dopamine levels, that means, for non-ADHDers, that it makes them energized, jittery, anxious, motivated and alert. Sugared coffee has a more significant/amplified, but similar, affect & this often shows up as shakiness & inattentiveness.

Non-ADHDers will get an artificial imbalance & a whole lot of dopamine, adrenaline, &/or serotonin. Since they already have enough dopamine naturally, this spike causes hyperactive/inattentiveness.

For ADHDers, however, their dopamine levels are low, so black coffee will cause an artificial imbalance but will leave the ADHDer with enough dopamine (higher levels of dopamine) to be motivated to do tasks & focus, & this usually causes focused drowsiness in small doses. Large doses (usually 20+ ounces of black coffee) will put the ADHD brain to sleep.

Sugared coffee though, for an ADHD brain, will cause an artificial balance with higher levels of dopamine, so this usually creates either blackout hyperfocus (medium dose of sugar + medium (16-20oz) coffee), calm focus (large coffee (20-32oz) + some sugar), or amplified hyperactivity (small coffee (8-16oz) + a lot of sugar or large coffee (20-32oz) + a lot of sugar; jittery, jumpiness, running around).

((Note the oz are an estimate & will vary depending on your personal tolerance for caffeine & sugar))

Essentially, sugared coffee could have a similar affect to prescription meds for ADHDers who don’t trust meds, get bad side effects from meds, or aren’t allowed meds? (I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it or say anyone should ditch their meds to try it, especially since coffee can be addictive, but I found it fascinating either way (since it explained (potentially) why black coffee could put me & other ADHDers to sleep).)

It also means being put to sleep by coffee, or suddenly able to Do The Thing™ because of coffee, is ADHD culture. (/lighthearted)

~Nico

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with MustangSally

MustangSally has 33 stories at Gossamer. Even if you haven’t read it, you’ve probably heard of at least one of them, Iolokus, since it’s an X-Files fanfic classic. All her fics hit big and are well worth your time. I’ve recced some of my favorites here before, including And Dance by the Light of the Moon, All the Children are Insane, and Iolokus. Big thanks to MustangSally for doing this interview.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I could tell you but then I would have to kill you.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Yes and no. Yes, because life has moved on since the early nineties and the characters and the fans are in vastly different places now. Our current tech would make the premise of the X-Files impossible. No, because of the longevity of some of the Star Trek TOS work (there’s an archive of hard copy fanzines at the University of Iowa). Top-drawer authors started out in TOS fandom.

I’m just greatly saddened that my physical body is showing wear and tear while the fic doesn’t. Fic gets to stay smooth-skinned and muscular, captured at the peak of perfection.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

At the risk of sounding atrociously trite, I think of the friends I made.  I met some very remarkable women that I’ve been able to stay friends with online for over twenty-five years.  We may have moved to Facebook and post entirely too much about our pets and which of our body parts has sagged this week, but we’re friends.  It’s a furiously funny, feminist, and well-educated group of women with jobs in the highest levels of academia, finance, communications, and media.  I’m amused by the fact that if I have a question about how a virus replicates, I can ask a PhD I’ve been drunk with in Las Vegas.

Back in the day, I had a job that sent me traveling around major cities in the US and UK. I could post on a message board and within ten minutes there were people I could go out for dinner and drinks with. We already knew we had something we could talk about for at least a couple of hours. Additionally, most of these people were women so there was an added level of security. Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Well, it was mostly atxc and the Yahoo! groups mailing lists that spiraled out into Geocities sites and, eventually, LiveJournal. The amusing thing is that getting in on the ground floor of social media and the Internet has helped me get jobs!  When I look at a new piece of software, I think, ‘this is hella easier than uploading to Geocities.’  We had to walk uphill both ways, in the snow, on dial-up, fighting off dinosaurs with our AOL CDs while writing HTML code. What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.

The past four years in politics have basically been the ugliest online kerfuffle the world has ever seen. I survived the Shipper Wars of ’96 and I thought those were brutal, but that was NOTHING. The only way to win an argument online is to not have the argument at all. Arguing with a troll is like mudwrestling a pig: You both get filthy and only the pig is happy.

Also, READ THE FUCKING TERMS OF SERVICE.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I had the most terrible straight-girl crush on Scully. I wanted to be her best friend, I wanted to BE her.  I wanted to order Chinese food and paint each other’s nails and talk about bones.  Scully and Princess Leia and I could all just hang out poolside with hot and cold running waiters and poolboys, drink margaritas, and bitch about how unfair it all was – if the stupid men would just get OUT OF THE WAY AND LET US DO OUR JOBS, the world would be so much better. What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

This question is really about Iolokus, isn’t it?  You can’t fool me. [Lilydale note: I can neither confirm nor deny the motivation for this question, but I cannot complain about the answer.]

Simply put, I was enraged. The moment it was revealed that Scully’s ova had been used in experimentation, I lost my feminist mind. It was the most obscene defilement imaginable.  Scully wasn’t nearly as angry as I was.  What I thought needed to happen was for Scully to become a fiery force of vengeance against the MEN who had done this to her.  Clearly, I was not going to get that level of satisfaction from the show, as I was imagining Kali-like carnage on a global scale. I emailed RivkaT (whom I did not know well at that point) with a proposition that we work together. Strangely enough, we didn’t meet face to face until we were well into the project, but we did talk on the phone quite a bit. The rules were simple – everyone had to be punished in truly horrific ways, and at some point, we had to see if we could write a car chase (only because that seemed impossible).  Then it basically turned into a very twisted game of chicken to see who could be the most outrageous in terms of killing people off or writing really horrific things that fit within the structure of the narrative.  I did, in the end, write the car chase, but RivkaT one-upped me by throwing in a helicopter (a FOX News helicopter, at that).  

Really, RivkaT?  A helicopter? What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? I am terribly proud of what I wrote, pleased that it brought pain and pleasure in equal amount to people, and, again, thrilled by the people I became friends with. I admit that I stopped watching the show when Scully announced her pregnancy.  I could only see a long jump over a shark tank for the rest of the series. I haven’t watched the new episodes, either.  It is complete in my mind and doesn’t need to be continued.  I wouldn’t say no to having a reunion with some of my fic friends, although we’re still chatting online like everyone does.   Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Rivka and I wrote in the Buffy fandom for a few years, but then we moved on to real adult jobs that left absolutely no time for me to write. I’m in education, and I regularly sweat blood for fear that someone is going to find my old fic. The Buffy people were fun; there was a certain *shininess* to them that I really enjoyed. The X-men authors were just batshit and delightful, and some amazing stuff came out of Marvel fandom, particularly in the Thor/Loki and Steve/Bucky subgenres. I’ve learned to appreciate a good coffee shop AU and one famous Erik/Charles fic where all the main characters are crabs. Seriously, crabs—it’s hysterical. [Lilydale note: Other Crabs Cannot Be Trusted by groovyphilia currently has almost 2,500 kudos at AO3.]

Every few years, I’ll have a student try to explain to me what fandom is and I just smirk. Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully? No. Not really. Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom? I fell into an X-Men hole a few years back and had a great old time wallowing in the Cherik muck, and there was a flirtation with BBC Sherlock as well. Strangely enough, I became interested in A/B/O fics only because of what they were saying about the role of women in our society. The limitations on the male omegas seem absurd and then you realize those are the same limitations put on women all. the. time.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

RivkaT very nicely formatted everything and put it up on AO3. What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I will always be stupidly proud of how shocked and horrified people were by Iolokus. The truth of the matter is that Iolokus has Greek drama at its core. Scully is Medea, and the entire story is lousy with “blood on the threshing floor” and Dionysian rites. The everyday is subverted into horror, and wives and daughters will tear men limb from limb like the Maenads. Since I was ultimately disappointed with what Chris Carter did with the entire show, that approach seemed appropriate.

At a certain level, all fic is corrective fic.  Like critic Anne Jamison said, “Irritated fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.”  And because fic has fallen so much into women’s sphere, a pure form of correction is not just the death of the author but the MURDER, a new creation springing up from the spilled blood like Cadmus sowing dragon’s teeth.

Okay, that’s a bit much. Maybe I should just take myself back to the isle of Goth Amazons or something. Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I had to write a self-evaluation and a reflection on pedagogy today. If that’s not fiction, I don’t know what the fuck is.

All my creativity is caught up in trying to pretend to be a normal middle-aged white woman so no one knows I am really a lizard.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Keep writing, keep reading, keep fighting the commercialization of narratives. As things grow more and more commodified, all our dreams and desires reduced to tchotchkes made in China, it’s a revolutionary act to separate your work from the marketplace. Be bold, take chances, turn the trope on its ear and kick it in the ass. Take everything the creators have done to make a work palatable to the unwashed masses and set it on fire.

Be subversive.

Be mean.

Have a great fucking time.

(Posted by Lilydale on March 2, 2021)

[sugar-petals]

Hey Caro ☺️ I just took your super m quiz - thanks for making such a fun quiz, I feel like it helped me get into super m! I know nothing about them yet but I thought it fit soo well that I got Kai bc I’m a full time dancer - now you have me super curious about him 👀👀

KAI :: INTRODUCTION MASTERPOST (dance focus)

so you wanna know about the god of k-pop choreo? oh yeah, i’ll talk to you about fucking kai! if you dance, this guy is the #1 must-know. once you see him move, there’s no going back. i don’t exaggerate: kai is the gold standard. brace yourselves, i’ll show you why.

kim kai aka kim jongin (27) is a solo artist and super m’s plus exo’s main dancer — est 2019 and 2012 respectively — heading either group with a passionate, hyper-physical style that roots in his early practice of of jazz dance and ballet. the influence definitely shows. 

learning choreography, he’s become the gorgeous fusion of emotional grace and explosive power that unites both tension and extreme accuracy. while at the same time: never sacrificing his interpretation. and HOW MUCH HE BLEEDS FOR HIS CRAFT. he enjoys it so much. 

and he’s communicating it 100%, jongin’s dance is so interactive and raw, luring. i swear to god, put the seatbelts on for this one. it’s never just him, it’s you as well. you’ve never seen this before. he’s like “yes, i meant you, i’m looking at you”:

he’s even gonna modify the choreography to point right at you to underline that very thought. he’s so good, he can learn it, ace it, epitomize it, and do his own thing anyway. even the person in the last row will get whatever point kai wants to make. this is dance that belongs on the biggest stages.

even when he films without a crowd, it’s like you’re literally standing opposite to him. he focuses on two people: his moves, and the viewer. he has it look like you made him smile and self-aware, or you made him determined. INCREDIBLE. he shows his charisma, BUT he also shows your own (!) impact on him. it’s a duet. he wants you to join him on the dancefloor. this is from exo’s call me baby mv where kai does his famous come-hither:

he flirts and he encourages. he values the audience and wants them to be confident as well. i think it’s the reason why he’s so outstanding and addictive, kai thinks beyond himself. it’s a tango he involves you in with his eyes and how he opens his body, interprets a lyric.

it’s not about imposing himself going one way. instead: he plays the back and forth ALL. THE. TIME. in any context. whether it be frivolous, or fun, or gloomy, or sweet. even with a simple little smiley wink it’s happening. and he acts like you had a reaction to it. there’s literally just a camera.

this guy’s physique, strength, elegance, feeling for the beat, character portrayal (!), and control is unbelievable. he’s destroyed it in every fancam out there. he can’t switch it off even if he tried. your eyes would go toward him in the largest group formation still. put him in the center, that’s his spot, he showcases it.

because he doesn’t just show learned moves, he makes it radiate something dynamic and animalistic (he embodies superm’s ‘tiger inside’ all the way). 

jongin’s dance says: i love this, you love this, let’s do this, the feeling is right. he makes bodies and unrestrained touch the opposite of wrong, he pronounces it a source of having fun and being instinctual. and he never breaks the tie with you throughout, and uses his shoulders and lips to put the oomph into it. 

he uses innuendo and a ‘we both know’ sentiment perfectly as an invitation rather than just going through his routine. that’s how he can make each move fascinating. you can tell kai knows exactly how to make everyone scream their lungs out. i bet somebody held their breath just reading this post already.

exo’s most famous choreo is ‘monster’ (kai focus linked) with good reason: jongin can turn himself into nothing short of a roaring beast. it’s one sharp, complex move after the other. kai can bend any gravitational law he wants to show any feeling and pose he wants. a glimpse:

now, how to spot him in general if you’re new to him? here are some pointers. kai’s execution is clean, fast, and powerful. those are two decades (!) of experience showing. kai is an all or nothing dancer, he plays no games. he treats every group and solo stage like his best and last. his work ethic is beyond words. yeah, he’s a capricorn. his style is direct as can be, working every axis.

as you can see, jongin is hard to overlook anyway: he’s a 182cm giant made of steel. he strives to acutely visualize impact in his style and it is always successful. in fact, it’s his signature. it’s like he creates invisible objects and pushes through them. boom, he just burst another bubble.

when the song gets to his part, i guarantee you won’t miss him and all the boldness and expression he brings to enrich the performance. hell... he carries it. jongin can handle the center, i’m telling you. (look how fast he rotates here)

talking features — this is what to look for when he dances in a group setting: you can recognize kai’s face by how wide, bluntly structured and sensual it is. jongin is a sight. he has such an aura, serious, sultry, and smiling alike.

with a very recognizable silhouette (like... holy hell!):

he’s very cute as well ♡ the fandom and kai himself have an adorable analogy going on. jongin calls himself a teddy/nini bear and we joined in on it. (i made a thread about it here, it talks more about his offstage life) — hence kai’s fans are called eri-gom, eris as in exo’s fanbase and gom meaning bear. 

and i mean. look at him. what an attractive guy. he’s that handsome. strong brows, teddy eyes, square jaw, swept hair, glorious lips, tan skin. 

now yes, something important concerning his appearance and a serious topic: i don’t want to list you the endless instances of colorism that kai has to endure but it has to be mentioned. jongin has been called every name in the book and people agonize him over his skin incessantly. it goes on and on and on. every day a new terrible comment about him emerges because some pitiful person thought it was funny and would elevate them. 

he’s had to deflect, ignore, reframe, defend, remotivate, assert, harden, prove, denounce, and push himself, protect his confidence, decline skin bleaching constantly, laugh along, dance and practice thrice as hard to get the respect, and still see his dignity torn to pieces all day. i’ll just give it to you straight, that’s all fucked up. kai’s skin is perfect, he’s amazing and wonderful. 

in his own words:

— exactly right. say it even louder.

having him at the bottom of every joke is weird and messed up. this man is an utter beauty and nothing has to be fixed. it is up to him to define himself rather than get called ugly for his skin’s appearance by default, and get whitewashed at every opportunity. it’s been going on for 27 years, he scrunitizes himself all the time and doesn’t look at himself fondly because he hears these beatdowns daily.

it’s heartbreaking that this happens literally with no end in sight (’kai is just a stripper!’... ‘he has bad vibes’... ‘darkest guy jongin!’). for his skin, and how he decides to show it, too. jesus christ his skin looks fantastic, end of debate. they just can’t handle him, kai couldn’t be any more immaculate.

♡

jongin has vigorously protected fans from discrimination, bullies, and shaming himself whenever it came up. in a very straightforward and deadpan manner because he knows exactly how it damages you. (”J” in the subtitles = jongin, he’s wearing the plain white top at the very back)

we need to protect and praise him that way right back. it’s important.

so, needless to say. all in for jongin getting the center stage he deserves. because he has the wow factor in every regard. kai usually opens an MV because there’s no better way to get people’s attention with that level of presence. with kai, you can’t go wrong. if you get the center in a an all star group like superm, you are the king.

being part of that presence, kai’s stage alter ego has reached levels of infamity you can’t even imagine. it’s great to see him being sovereign without apology.

and it doesn’t stop there. he shows time and again that acting, props, and commanding the audience has to be mastered to be an exceptional dancer. kai owns his sex appeal. sometimes, he even dances a portion of choreo with his eyes closed because he’s feeling it so much.

he is a pro in using his surroundings as well, superm’s stages are a glorious opportunity for kai to show how he comfortably ‘lives in’ the 3D space around him.

which makes the viewer do the same: watching kai makes you feel amazing, energized, but also serene and enjoying the moment. 

there’s always balance. it’s the magic of it. e.g. he comes along with so much impetus and decisiveness but eventually, he halts to offer himself. here i am — take me. i’m yours. closed arms, open arms. walking, kneeling. looking down, looking up.

kai goes every extra mile there ever was and makes each eye contact count. involving the audience, one grin at a time. it works. it’s about establishing contact. he connects to the onlooker with so much nuance. 

kai’s smirk is notorious and you can see why it’s so raw and real: he makes it linger. it’s such a duality since his dancing says i’ll come over, while his message is come and get me, i know what’s on your mind.

with a hilarious twist – kai expertly uses humor. you don’t get that in many dancer repertoires. i love it. all those quick expression changes. his smile! 😊 what a man.

so — what makes him so good and known: yes, his style doesn’t deny that dancing and eroticism are one in his business. that takes courage. kai has it. iconic performances have been his reward. point dance/killing part: exo’s love shot choreo. 

that suit has swept the nation. what’s more: kai shows you it’s more than just good hip movement that a good dancer needs. he does everything at once, he puts the pleasure on his face, all his limbs are following the template he chooses.

the thing is. kai couldn’t be any shyer, but when the music starts he becomes a oscar-winning madman. he emotes constantly (!) and stays in character. this is gold.

jongin always plays it up. he knows how to use that face and does a lot of power posing. this is how visceral looks like. he’s interpreted exo’s aggressive concepts to a T.

and he has so. much. fun. it propels him. on every beat.

past every hurt, heartbreak and injury, man. if you know about his genre you knew this was coming, kai does all of that with 4 herniated discs. since debut days, never recovered. every gif in this thread, he dances with a battered spine. wheelchairs, stage collapses, relapse-recovery-schedule tales, the dilemma of injuries being inevitable, limping, kai falling into depression during breaks, constant pain killers, countless tears on stage, we’ve seen it all, the extreme end of it. 

kai works out like hell to literally keep his body from falling apart. but it doesn’t help the nerves in his back that are impacted. doing choreo you can sometimes literally see the pain kicking in and he pulls himself through with force for the last minute. once you know how strained his back is, you can see it.

at the end his expression goes fuck now it’s coming when the adrenaline fades. he takes every second-pause he gets to rest but still finishes each move. even when he holds back, he keeps it together and executes each turn. sometimes, he has to restrict himself and soften his movements to protect his health (especially in hard choreographies such as lucky one which is universally disliked by exo — still jongin makes the very best of it smiling bright and dancing so hard his sleeves come off).

he frequently states he ‘dances in any case unless his legs are affected by something’. all torso injuries are fair game, this guy is hardcore. and people claim he’s just pretending. chen (a fellow exo member) says not a single part of jongin’s body is intact. he has paid every price to get this far to follow his love. he’ll step on stage with crutches. he works SO HARD.

that being said: exo being called the official nation’s group, i say kai is the nation’s dancer. period. he has had his great moment at the korean olympics flawlessly dancing in a hanbok with traditional instruments and fulfilling his dream. 

i love the tension and drama he can bring. he can also thrill with slow, vulnerable movements alike.

kai’s is called a legend, he’s all that and even more. the facial expressions alone are feared by any kai stan because they hit home. 

this guy is a sex icon and goes off like a gun, messing around was never kai’s incentive. 

while at the same time being incredibly nuanced and so, so descriptive with his movements.

point dance: baby don’t cry. yep, kai has danced in water. must-watch.

this man loves what he is doing. he said he wouldn’t regret to die on stage because dancing is his destiny. boy, it shows. this guy has found his purpose. he can tell any story he wants. he’s a complete artist.

he’s perfectly portraying his incentive and he couldn’t look any more like a god on earth.

long story short, kai is dance and motivation goals. if you dance professionally, you can easily look toward him for the right words.

if you want to further your study and knowledge: he released a self-titled solo album recently. highly recommended. he worked forever on it, and he’s really dishing it on there. you get to hear his soft voice plus sizzling footwork. and he isn’t even getting started yet. you’ll hear from kai, i promise. he constantly achieves new levels of artistic perfection.

a last remark. jongin is amazing for a myriad of reasons that go beyond what i show you here given the post focuses on his work on stage. but the point stands, while other people have tried to break him, he broke through every barricade instead and stood up for himself. we can be extremely happy to have him and witnessing his unreal dance is an exceptional pleasure. here’s to jongin continuing his passion and confidence, healing, and getting the sweeping respect and acknowledgement that is his.

[mollyyoung]

Why write zines?

Well, pretty simply: It’s a way for a writer to participate in written culture without subjecting herself to market forces. You don’t have to pitch a zine to an editor. A zine can’t be optimized for search engines. Advertisers aren’t competing for the attention of a zine reader. The space is unencumbered. 

They are drawbacks to being unencumbered. For example, the zines I’ve written don’t have editors. They are worse in many, many ways because of this. They’re also (I hope) better in some ways. Flawed writing can be pleasurable to read. I like seeing authors work out their ideas on the page, leaving space for the reader to complete or extend or rebut those ideas. 

A finished article on a website lands in the world as a sealed object, and maybe this is why so many of them are quickly skimmed and either approved or rejected within seconds, if not totally ignored. There’s no entry point. Or maybe there is, but then you clicked on a banner ad for boxer briefs or moisturizer and now you’ll never find your way back. 

A zine creates its own primitive social network. There are no advertising or algorithms, and no influencers stoking and then profiting off of your anxiety. The social network is almost entirely implicit rather than explicit. The social network is “other people who are reading the zine, or people who might want to read the zine if I give them my copy.”

Isn’t the same true of online newsletters, you might ask? Sort of. But a newsletter still starts from a format. It is subject to the decisions of people who work at companies like Substack and Mailchimp and Tinyletter. A newsletter also bears the weight of its delivery environment, which is your email inbox. It’s hard to switch from processing emails—delete, delete, reply, archive—to processing ideas. 

(I say this, by the way, as someone who has been writing a newsletter for two years and really enjoys doing it! But I still think the inbox context stinks.)

Which brings me to another “plus” in the zine column: you can’t multitask while reading one. It demands your attention—and then, maybe, loses it—but at least it gets a fair shot. And you get a fair shot, too. You get to decelerate and experience one thing without being dogged by a thousand other things. Your clicking finger rests.

And—

Not everyone feels the same way, but I prefer when the experience of reading is connected to a physical reality (lamp, chair, rain, subway, bus, bed, whatever) instead of a digital one. My memory captures information more readily when the information is absorbed within a context of weather and smells and sounds.

But ok, you might add, isn’t most of the above true of books? Aren’t books just better and more polished zines? I mean, yes, some of them. But man, you should hear how people in (major) publishing talk about books! Books are “properties.” The half-life of a book is about ten seconds long: if one doesn’t get traction the millisecond it hits (Amazon’s) shelves, a publisher abandons it and moves on to the next. Books are spaghetti thrown at a wall. Sometimes one sticks. No one in publishing knows why. 

When it happens, they double down on that author and scour the landscape for books like it—”comps”—that can be designed with similar covers and marketed to similar groups of people. This is why it can feel like you’re reading the same book over and over. It’s not sinister. It’s just a market.

A zine starts from nothing and is subject to no one except its creator. Again, this is not always a recipe for success. But it’s always a recipe for interesting.