#But here all those guys are giant for me hahaha

[maria-ruta]

walking into the kitchen after midnight, because family forgot to turn of the light there, while living in Argentina in summer, in the house of the ground floor, is like walking into a fucking disco party of little fucking critters on the floor

With 5 slugs and one giant cockroach roaming around 😫😭

[sideshow-cellophane-blog]

Wyll's Enchanted Boots: Part 2!

Act 2, also

It didn't take long for the group to come back. Tav, Gale, Laezel, and Halsin had spent a long day in the shadow lands searching for hints about a child named Thaniel, and had made little progress other than adding to their map, felling some enemy creatures, and meeting with some harpers. They would head northwest the next day in search of that inn they mentioned, but their day had been cut short to exhaustion.

Tav and Gale collapsed at Shadowheart's tent to heal while the others went off on their own. 

Halsin was used to getting looks from his new allies, but he felt more intense gazes as he headed back. He tried to meet eyes with Astarion and Wyll, who looked away too quickly. Both looked quite disheveled and flustered.

A smile tugged at his lips. "Did something happen while we were gone?"

"Hm?" Astarion answered too innocently. "Oh, nothing much. We scavenged a ruin nearby and found fresh clothes. Wyll found some boots your size, they're already near your tent."

Wyll snapped his attention to Astarion. "You-! Nonsense, Astarion brought everything back by himself."

"Don't be modest darling, not when you went through all of that hard work trying on the enchanted clothes."

"And here I thought you were the one to make those yourself. Seems I underestimated your mischief."

Halsin was too tired to mind whatever was going on between the two. He continued to his tent near the water and stripped off his armor piece by piece, sighing in relief to change into fresh clothing after a long day in darkness. 

The eyes remained on him, as they usually do when he changes. But this time something different happened. 

Something very different.

 He slipped into a fresh pair of boots, new ones that must have come from their scavenging, and he turned to check on the others.

He felt the boots tighten - odd - and as he took that first step he nearly crumpled to the ground. A feather-like tickle ran up his soles, and another after that. His face twisted in confusion, then realization as the enchanted boots started to tickle every inch of his feet without mercy. He chuckled and looked to Astarion and Wyll, whose grins were as wide as the druid's. He did not see Karlach and Shadowheart also looking, momentarily distracted from her healing spell. 

"Oh - OH!" He stomped his feet on the ground as the magic kept tickling, and his giggling picked up. Halsin crossed his arms over his stomach and crumpled to his knees. "Wha-HAHAHA! Whahat is thihihis?!" 

"Got him!" Karlach cheered. "Poor Wyll couldn't handle those things for more than a few minutes. Isn't it fun?"

"He couldn't handle being grabbed by his love handles either," Astarion teased. He pinched Wyll's exposed sides and got smacked. 

"I can't help my sensitivities," Wyll pouted. He fended off Astarion's teasing fingers as Halsin belly laughed harder and louder. "Stop! Let Halsin be the center of attention, will you? I've been tortured enough today."

"Hmph. I'd wager Halsin rivals even you Wyll! He's certainly as loud."

Halsin was fully lying on the ground, kicking his legs against the dirt. He tried to remove the boots, but they held tight to his skin. He flopped back over as they dug beneath his toes. A squeal escaped him, and he pounded a fist on the ground. How long had it been since his nerves were exploited in such a silly way? Had they ever been? Certainly no one was brave enough since he became an archdruid. He had forgotten how fun it could be, and admired how it brightened the team around him. They had all been so melancholy after the creche.

"Whoa," Tav breathed as they approached the hysterical giant behind Karlach. "Where did you guys find those?!"

"Astarion did earlier today near some ruins," Shadowheart said firmly. "He and Wyll were going at it earlier. It was his idea to give them to Halsin next."

"Stop dropping names," Astarion said nervously. "Stop dropping my name. Karlach brought them to his tent, after all."

"Yeah but he can't touch me without burning, unlike you Mister Giggles," Karlach laughed. "Halsin! You doing okay?"

Their favorite gentle giant was giggling so hard he could only gargle through half-started words and jumbled pleads. He kept his arms crossed over his stomach and rolled from side to side, kicking all the while. Tears of mirth were escaping the corners of his eyes. 

"Well he isn't begging for it to stop," Gale said softly. "I hope that means he's enjoying himself?"

Halsin nodded through his hysteria. 

"I don't think you can take them off when you're wearing both shoes," Wyll commented. "Astarion and Karlach got them off when they were wearing one boot each, but it was impossible for me when I was wearing both…So, uh, one of us will actually need to… step in here." He grinned at himself.

Tav groaned at the pun. "You guys were in camp tickling one another while we were risking our lives fighting shadow creatures? There was a massive fucking spider man out there, goblins, undead creatures...Godsdamn it all, why couldn't you wait until we were back?! I would have loved to see Wyll losing his mind! And Karlach can be touched with these?!"

"Oh yeah," Karlach sighed. "Wish it could tickle other parts of me…"

"We have to entertain ourselves somehow while you're away," Astarion shrugged. "And look! You have your giggley show now, don't you? I didn't think it would really be so easy to fall the mighty archdruid."

"IHIHI'M GOHOHOING TO KIHIHIHILL YOHOHOU!" Halsin roared. He wasn't really having a bad time. Their group had been through a lot in such a short period of time and he hadn't laughed so hard in many long years. Being the center of their delight wasn't a blow to his ego, if it brought a genuine smile to everyone's faces. "GeheheHET DOHOHOWN HEHEHEHERE!" He barely managed to sit up, his entire frame shaking with mirth. He took a swing for Astarion's legs, missed, and growled as he tried to crawl forward.

"Oh~!" Shadowheart giggled. "He's mobile, Astarion!"

"Oh fuck - I'll get those boots off if you don't retaliate! Wyll and Shadowheart already got their revenge on me earlier!"

Halsin lunged again for the nearest person and managed to grab Shadowheart's leg. "Nahahahat….FOR MEHEHEHEE!"

She squeaked and knelt down to stop his fingers from curling into her knee and subsequently thigh. "Hehey! I didn't do anythihihing!" Still, she didn't put up much of a fight when he pulled her down into his lap and started to squeeze her belly. She snorted and began to giggle with a very red face at being manhandled by the group's current crush - besides Tav - and subjected to torture.

"Bah," Laezel finally spoke. "To be stroked lightly and laugh in such a way - how human. And childish."

"Please, it's fun!" Karlach threw out her arms. "Gods, as soon as I can touch you all I'll show you how a proper tickle fight should go. You'll see Laezel, they're so much fun with friends! Wyll you'll have to be my first, I already know some of your tickle spots and your laugh is so sweet! Gods, we need to catch up with Dammon."

Wyll tensed at the idea of being under Karlach's mercy, giant that she was, and shuddered in secret delight. "I'd…I'd be honored to see your joy when that happens," He said honestly but very hesitantly. "As long as you show some mercy."

"I'll watch," Laezel crossed her arms, secretly admiring Halsin's mirth. "But involve me and suffer death."

"Now that I'll avoid."

"Hehehelp!" Shadowheart giggled. "C-cahahan't! Escahahahape!"

"GihihHIHIHIVE MEhehehe Astahahahariohohohon! HaHAHAHA!" Halsin bellowed out deep belly laughter again when Shadowheart stopped clawing at his hands, and instead reached back to claw his own sides. 

"Well if I'm being thrown under the bus I may as well deserve it," Astarion sighed and cracked his neck. Wyll was easy to defeat in a tickle fight, but he knew Halsin would absolutely kill him. "Tav? Or Gale? Get his arms up, won't you?"

Gale smiled and cast mage hand. It hovered in front of Halsin and Shadowheart, and with some extra concentration it grabbed Halsin's hands and lifted them. "Alright, have your fun."

"With pleasure," Tav and Astarion both descended on Halsin with Shadowheart. Halsin fell backwards onto his back, cackling madly. Fingers fluttered and squeezed over his muscled stomach, into fleshy sides, creeping into his armpits, tip-toed and counted out his most sensitive ribs. He roared when - Tav? - squeezed that most sensitive spot just under his pectorals and into his top ribs. Shadowheart was pinching the softness below his navel. He rolled back and forth in a new level of hysteria he hadn't experienced in well over a century - it wasn't unwelcome, but he was going to get them all back for this. Namely Astarion, whose fingers curling in his armpits and skittering over biceps were sending electric bolts down his spine. 

"FIHIHIHIGHT FAHAHAHAIRLY!" He yelled. "GAHAAAAA! AHAHAHASSES! YOU DARE ATTACK AHAHAHAN! ALLY?! HAAaaaaaaaAAAHAHA!"

"Here," Feeling more sympathetic than the rest, Wyll sat on Halsin's legs to try and pull the boots off - he needed some form of relief. "Don't go too hard on him guys, I'm sure they've had a long day."

"Mm, I did most of the work," Gale coughed. "I finally got my fireball spell back."

"Most useful," Laezel nodded. "But it was I who had the highest body count today. You merely helped weaken them."

"Well without my fireballs we would have needed to use a revive scroll, or Withers, with the way you charge into battle."

Laezel took a moment to give Gale the benefit of the doubt. When he didn't continue with an apology for his boastful ego she uncrossed her arms and hesitantly started to poke at his sides and ribs from behind in retaliation. She used softer touches that she observed being used on Halsin, and Gale's concentration was broken instantly to a giggle fit. He curled in on himself and bent over in vain to escape her vice-like grip, but she pulled him into her chest. One arm held his waist, and the other pinched and poked at it.

"Hehehey! W-what- Lae'zel! Hehe!"

"Say that I'm more efficient in battle than you are!" She demanded, gaining confidence now that he was reacting the way Halsin was. "Suffer my superior light hearted torture!"

"Aw, aw, guys!" Karlach gasped. "Guys! It's our first tickle fight and I can't even touch you? Fucking hells that sucks!"

"Want a boot?" Wyll quickly hopped off of Halsin's legs with the enchanted boots, just in time for the mage hand to disappear with Gale's concentration. Halsin was free. "We'll get you one of these days ourselves."

"Gimme one, nobody can keep me from being a part of this!" Karlach cheered and pulled on one of the shoes so she could be a part of the tickle fight that was breaking out. 

Wyll sat beside her and watched the madness erupt. "I don't think you'll need these boots when we can touch you again," He teased. "You'll have our very willing team."

With his arms free and feet no longer being tortured, Halsin had grabbed the person who wasn't running away fastest: Astarion. And that was only because he was pushed into Halsin's body by Tav and Shadowheart to avoid that very fate. The spawn squealed in fear, girlishly swatting at Halsin's large arms as they wrapped around him. Halsin managed to keep the vampire on his chest as one extremely large hand covered the entirety of his belly, and scratched at it with vigor. Astarion choked on his first cackle, and then the noises he made would have made one think a hyena had entered their camp. 

"Prank an archdruid, and suffer the consequences!" Halsin roared in victory. Astarion writhed like a flopping fish on him, but he held fast. "I'm coming after ALL of you!" His large fingers scuttled to Astarion's sides, then ribs, and avoided his swinging arms by going directly into his armpits. 

Astarion's arms clamped to his sides, quite uselessly, and he practically jumped out of his skin. "NAHT THERE NAHAHAT THEHEHERE!" He arched his back into Halsin's chest and howled, stuck on his back. With both of Halsin's hands preoccupied, he finally managed to roll off him to the ground.

The escape attempt was stopped quickly. Halsin sat up and pulled Astarion into his lap, wiggling his fingers in those death spots all the while. "I'll be staying right here," Halsin assured him. "To teach you a valuable lesson!" 

Gale made it to his knees in front of Wyll and Karlach, the unfortunate first victim of Laezel's merciless fingers. "Admit it or suffer more forced laughter!" She kept demanding. "I am the best fighter! Even now I have you lying defenseless beneath me in a hilarious fit! Suffer a most silly wrath!"

Unfortunately, Gale couldn't breathe, and therefore couldn't answer. Choked pleads and squeals and half-hearted attempts to get her to move were to no avail, and he couldn't laugh hard enough from the militant alien's insufferable tickle torture. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, and it was all he could do to keep his arms firmly pinned to his sides.

Tav and Shadowheart looked at each other with bright smiles. Shadowheart looked at Astarion, back at Tav, and had to shout over the maniacal cackling and howling laughter. "Get his knees!"

"No! Really?" Tav didn't hesitate. Too excited by the prospect of seeing Astarion giddy and out of control, they knelt down in front of the pair. Halsin had wrapped one leg around one of Astarion's, but the vampire's other kicked dirt. 

Just before Tav could start squeezing the trapped knee, Shadowheart's nimble fingers wormed their way under their arms. Tav squeaked at the betrayal and was pulled backwards into the cleric's chest, just like Astarion and Halsin across from them. 

Astarion was bent in half in Halsin's lap, shaking and cackling with giant bear fingers trapped and wriggling in his armpits. He started to slump over to the side and was pulled right back into Halsin's chest with a shout. He was shown a slight mercy as Halsin finally pinched his way down to Astarion's tummy again, and the poor thing snorted and twisted. 

Finally, FINALLY, the squeezes and skitters slowed to pokes and slower vibrations that Astarion could breathe and gasp through. "Oh, oho, haha, heheh, f-fahack…Ah gahahads, yohou're evihihil!"

"Evil wouldn't involve breaks," Halsin pinched his hip. 

"AHA!...B-break? You're not blohohoody stahahapping!"

"Look around you," He nodded to the group. Tav and Shadowheart were making each other squeak as they fought for control. Gale was wheezing as Wyll tried to talk Lae'zel into letting the matter drop. Karlach was in the middle of taking off the tickle boot, watching the group too. She gave Halsin and Astarion a wink. "I've never seen anything like it. You have made everyone so happy this evening. Even if it started at my expense, I intend for it to end at yours. Shared delight is such a wonderful gift like that, isn't it?"

"Hah? HAAAAAAHAHAHA!" Astarion swayed to the side and managed to fall over. Halsin was digging into his sides again, and focused both large hands on scribbling into the one now facing up. Astarion could only battle weakly at the stronger man's hands. 

Tav and Shadowheart finally called a truce, and Lae'zel was showing Gale mercy only because he had started to wheeze more than laugh. Wyll patted his back as Karlach grabbed the boots to hide at someone else's tent. Halsin wouldn't be done with Astarion for a few more minutes. Noticeably, he wasn't begging for it to stop.

[twilightmalachite]

Poltergeist - Prologue

Author: Akira

Characters: Madara, Natsume, Tsumugi, Sora

Translator: Mika Enstars

Proofer: Revoltrad

"Trying to solve your mistakes with monEY… That’s a scummy adult moVE…"

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Winter

Location: NewDi Office

ES’ first year of establishment, early January. The first work day following SS—NewDi Office…

Madara: Happy New Yeeeeeear ☆

I’m here to answer your call! Happy New Year! MaM’s Mikejima Madara is here! Time to welcome in the new year!

Hahaha! May you have a prosperous New Year! I wish for our up-and-coming idol agency, NewDi, to experience a bright future this year, too!

That is all! New Year’s greetings are over! I’ve done what I needed to do…☆

Natsume: WaIT, waIT. Were you a bomber aircraft in your past liFE? Can you not just come in shouting and yelling all over the place and then just walk away satisfiED?

Sora: Auauaua~? Auauaua~…?

Tsumugi: A-Are you alright, Sora-kun? Is it your eyes? Do your eyes hurt?

Sora: A-A huge color burst out when Sora let his guard down, so—

Madara: Ahh, that’s my bad. Sorry, sorry. Did you recognize my loud voice as color and feel it through your eyes, Sora-san? That’s pretty interesting!

Here, let Mama give you a New Year’s envelope as an apology for bein’ a bother! ♪

Sora: Yay~! ♪ With this New Year's money, now Sora can buy up all those games companies are shelling out for children for the new year!

Natsume: Trying to solve your mistakes with monEY… That’s a scummy adult moVE…

Madara: Wouldn’t it be more creepy to see a squeaky clean adult~? To live is to become dirty, no~?

Besides, since the conclusion of SS turned out to be a farce laughable enough to make tea boil in your gut[1], those of us idols who participated in the main competition were rewarded accordingly.

The massive amount of money that should’ve originally gone to a single unit has been distributed evenly.

Tsumugi: Yep. As a result, we’ve received more L$ than we know what to do with. NewDi has been struggling financially for a while now, so it’s a great help.

Natsume: As the experiment in SS nears completiON, the profits from SSVRS should be reaching our pockets shortly as weLL.

Madara: Mhm! But if I’m being honest, I don’t know what to do with all the money I’ve gotten!

I’ve attempted to give it out to show my thanks to the friends who came to help MaM out during SS…

Nearly each and every one of them snapped back at me, saying “It’s not like I came to help you for the money or anything!” in some old-fashioned tsundere style—I was completely pushed away!

So now I have way too much money left over. What should I do?

Sora: Does Mr. Giant not have any hobbies? Does he want Sora to recommend a game to him?

Natsume: It’s less that he doesn’t have any hobbies and more that he has his hands full touching grass in the real worLD, rigHT, Mikejima-senpai? You knOW, you’re a surprisingly empty persON.

Tsumugi: Is that surprising?

Madara: Quieeet! What’s up with you guys? The new year has just begun, and you’re toying around with my faults~?

If you’re looking for fun, can’t you just play Fukuwarai or Hagoita?[2]

Tsumugi: No need. Actually, Mikejima-kun, I have some news that should make you happy.

Madara: Yes? What could it be? I can’t recall anything, anything at all, but if you’re lecturing me for something that’s my fault again, then—

Natsume: Just why would you not remembER? Have you been rampaging on for so long you can no longer feel remorSE?

Madara: I’m a no-remorse, no-regrets kinda guy! Which is why I don’t like to be yelled at, because to me, I didn’t do aaaanything wrong!

Tsumugi: Hehe, so basically, Mikejima-kun, you just wanted to give us your greetings and head back before you could get a scolding, huh? You’re like a child who has misbehaved.

Natsume: Aptly pUT. You’re just like thAT, a chiLD, but with a massive boDY.

Madara: He~y, are you messing around with me for kicks again?

Natsume: Oh, not at aLL. RathER, it’s the opposiTE—ActualLY, our presideNT, who is still traveling overseAS, sends his congratulations to yOU.

Madara: Congratulations? Our president, who has a reputation for having too little presence in the company, is giving me what-now?

Natsume: Well you sEE… Thanks in part to SS, NewDi’s managemeNT, which has always been small and weak as an agenCY, just like a little peeping baby biRD, has begun to show signs of stabiliTY.

Thanks to your work in Double Face, obstacles behind the scenes have been eliminatED, tOO.

Developments continues on like sO, so operations are going strongly within the agenCY—

As presideNT, he wants to reward us for NewDi’s breakthrough as its affiliated uniTS… It’s sort of like thAT.

Madara: Is that true? So if we hadn’t been holding down the fort, this small and weak agency would have been crushed and eradicated long ago?

Tsumugi: Maybe so. But through this, we were able to survive.

It’s likely not a gift to us in the spirit of the New Year, but rather… As a way of recognizing our achievements thus far, the president has awarded us a bonus.

Madara: A bonus? More money? Right after I said that I don’t need any more of it?

Natsume: YeAH. That’s about how the rest of us reactED, tOO. The idols within our agency aren’t too obsessed with monEY.

Tsumugi: Ahaha~, which is exactly why we’re losing in this competitive capitalistic society! ♪

Sora: HaHa~♪ When Tsuka-chan in Knights heard he was going to get money, he said “Is this an insult!?” and got all angry for some reason~!

Madara: Hahaha, we’re quite the troublesome bunch, aren’t we? ♪

Natsume: You’re at the top of the liST, you know thAT?

StiLL, if we rejected the bonus like thAT, it’d make the director lose faCE. In other worDS… Seems even the president was a little uneasy about thAT, you sEE?

And so he started saying that it doesn’t have to be monEY, but he’ll grant us anythiNG, anything at aLL.

Tsumugi: He basically said, “Now, make a wish. I’ll make it come true, no matter what it may be.”

Madara: I don’t remember having collected the Dragon Balls.

Tsumugi: Well, anyhow, if you have any wishes, now's the time to tell me, essentially.

Natsume: The president boasted “any wish you waNT,” but this is a small and weak agency in the eND—So your wish can only be so bIG.

Tsumugi: But the president really seemed willing to do anything you’d like. So if there’s anything you have qualms with, please let me know, this might even be your chance to speak out about agency management policies.

Madara: Hmmm…?

Tsumugi: Well, by all means, take your time to think about it. Apart from that, Mikejima-kun, are you free right now?

Madara: Aren’t I always free, whether I like it or not?

Sora: Wanna come with us for Hatsumode[3], then? It was too busy to go during the New Year’s holiday, so Sora and the others were talking about going now~! ♪

Madara: Haha, everyone’s still feeling the New Year’s festivities, even though today’s supposed to be the first day back at work…♪

Madara: (…I wonder if that’s why I’m feeling festive too. I just came up with an “outlandish idea”~. ♪)

[ ☆ ]

story directory | next →

The Japanese saying heso ga cha o wakasu (lit. to boil tea within your navel) is used to describe something ridiculously laughable, comparing one's belly when laughing hard to a boiling tea kettle.

Two popular New Year's celebration games. Fukuwarai is a little similar to “pin the tail on the donkey”, but with players trying to correctly arrange facial features on a blank face while blindfolded. Hagoita, or Hanetsuki, is a racket and shuttlecock game, much like badminton but without a net.

Hatsumode is the first shrine visit of the year, as part of New Year's festivities. Typically done on the first couple of days of the new year. Traditionally, New Year's wishes are made and omamori (good luck charms) are bought. It's also popular to draw an omikuji to receive your fortune; hence the omikuji feature during Enstars' New Year's campaigns.

[naughtynanzhu]

new copypasta just dropped

guy was mad that another guy posted a video of him setting up a romantic date night at home for his wife, saying women never do anything for men except give bjs and MAYBE stay loyal and it was very long winded and wild:

image text:

"Why don't girls/females/woman do nice things for men?? "oh such a beautiful date thanks babe, I ensure I won't cheat on you for a little while and will stay loyal, until the next time you do this, unless you take too long, oh and and here's a bj... because that's all i've ever bring to the table.." Why don't woman set up nice things for men??? Do they not like men and prefer men suffer while they enjoy the luxurious of all the things men provide..... Like what do woman do to court or cater to their husbands needs??? This is what's complete BS about the dynamics of society and it really halves the enrichment of the civilization... Because Woman just want a free ride always and give nothing back but a "bj" Imaooo That's the most love a woman can show to a man???? And being loyal... (which is day one fundamental behavior for a relationship) Really???? I don't get it... Seriously what do woman do above and beyond like this?? I know a woman can't name nearly one example.... And just say some incomplete nonsense like "you have issues " hahaha. That's woman projecting their issues that they don't do anything for men. Sad world to live in. because they think their existence is good enough.. how about a man's existence is good enough? Because men run and protect the entire world. Woman need to be doing these things for men. Actually. I'm a warrior at heart and am willing to go the greatest lengths. The woman need to be catering to the men. I'm as manly as it gets and i'll challenge that against any man.. Making woman much less powerful, but we are inherently equal by existence. So actually the woman need to be courting the man.. The man holds a much more important role. This is called Simping for entitled girls who believe they deserve this. While they're probably cheating and being disloyal. Woman really are the devil."

he was then asked what he does for the world and had the most amazing reply:

image text:

"If you only knew little man. My father was airlifted to the hospital on the job, he was paid less his entire life. My mother was the breadwinner. He also stepped in front a man with a gun to save our families life. My mom worked inside the A/C her entire career. Her brother fell off a 2 story roof from heat exhaustion working construction his entire life and died on the job a few years ago. My grandfather has a purple heart. I protect this entire world in ways no one walking this Earth knows. I also have multiple documented rescues in Ocean Rescue where civilians would had died without my attendance. I have double rescues, meaning two adults at once, and other rescues on multiple occasions. I've had 12 street fight KO's protecting my family and friends all in self defense. All bigger than me. My friends call me the Giant Slayer. There's no woman on the planet that could endure the circumstances i've been in. I grew up surfing, in athletics, trained in the harshest environments during hurricanes with Navy Seals. I won National Championships in College Water polo in California. You can't be a stronger swimmer than a water polo player, not even a navy seal, because they don't practice water combat and wresting for 7 years. Only a summer at BUDS. WP is an olympic contact sport, with cuts and stitches every game. I've knocked ppl unconscious in the water in self defense during games. I carry lethal. capabilities with my bare hands and am willing to execute those actions to protect people I love from evil. I grew up with world champion fighters CFFC and in the UFC, my uncle was also a golden glove boxer in FL. Strangers have personally thanked me for protecting them, saving their child's life. These occasions could have been you or one your family members. It's all relative, you wouldn't wonder who I am then. I also fight the good fight for civilians. Against the biggest cooperations and banks in the world. Recovering millions of dollars in settlements for disadvantaged policyholders in neglected claims. Working along the top forensic engineers, attorneys, the biggest contractors, and private judges in my state."

amazing. fucking g*d tier.

[littledemon154]

kong x reader

Enemy to lovers

Im not done yet but I was thinking of making a fanfiction and wonder what you guys thought.

Under the cover of night, the moon cast its gentle glow upon a group of people dressed as soldiers, their laughter echoing through the air. They had discovered their favorite drinking spot, chanting the words "Tom yummys" in unison. It was a secret place where they could be alone without being yelled at by the Commander.

"Hahaha, hey, (Y/N)!" Kong yelled with an exaggerated enthusiasm, his voice practically doing a cartwheel in an attempt to grab his enemy's attention. Oh boy, does Kong love being the center of the spotlight! "What 'King Kong'?" Y/n retorted, their gaze swiftly shifting towards the figure wearing a mask. The mask made him look like a giant, and he sure sounded like one as well. He was tall enough that if Y/n reached out with both hands and tried to reach up, they would only touch his chest. "I got something for ya"

Me? Did you hear that right? He's got something for me? Well, well, well, now this is a plot twist I didn't see coming! It's like finding a diamond in a pile of cow dung. Normally, this guy's about as friendly as a grumpy hedgehog, always shooting snarky remarks my way. We're practically like two rival boxers in the same ring, constantly trading punches. (y/n) thought.

Kong eagerly reached over to his backpack, unzipping it with a grin plastered across his face. With an air of excitement, he began rummaging around inside, searching for something special. After a moment of anticipation, his hand emerged from the depths of the bag, holding a vibrant red present adorned with a sleek black ribbon. The gift practically shimmered in his grasp, promising untold surprises and delights. The sight of it caused Y/n's stomach to clench. Their eyes widened with curiosity, their lips curling into a wide smile. Kong grinned back with a mischievous glint sparkling in his black orbs.

"Here we go!" Kong said with a chuckle, holding the present out before them with a flourish. His grin grew larger as the anticipation built. With all the courage she could muster, Y/n finally spoke after taking a moment to collect her thoughts. "So… what's this all about?" They asked cautiously, trying not to sound too eager. But they couldn't help it!

As Y/n tentatively reached out to accept the gift, their heart pounded in their chest, the excitement mixed with a tinge of apprehension. The anticipation that had built within them was like a roaring fire, warming their soul, until… Until that moment when their existence plummeted into a whirlwind of anger, rage, and despair.

In their trembling palm lay a cat suit, a symbol of humiliation and defeat. The vibrant red fabric seemed to mock them, taunting their vulnerability. It was a painful reminder of a bet, a wager made in jest that had now come back to haunt them. Kong's voice, dripping with cheekiness, sliced through the air, further fueling the raging inferno within Y/n.

"Yeah, remember when you lost that bet?" Kong jeered, relishing in the power he held over them. His words were like daggers, piercing through Y/n's defenses and leaving them feeling exposed and vulnerable. His laughter blended with the chorus of the group, a chorus that only deepened the wounds inflicted upon Y/n's pride.

""Hey, how about this for a crazy idea?" Kong exclaimed mischievously, a twinkle in his eye. "Why don't you dare to strip off those boring clothes and slip into that adorable cat outfit? Let's have a little fashion show, shall we?"

Smudge's eyes widened, taken aback by his friend's audacious challenge. "You really think I'd back down from a bet? Well, think again!" Smudge retorted with a determined grin, determined not to let Kong have the upper hand.

Kong's smug smirk grew wider, his plan working like a charm. The surrounding men couldn't help but chuckle, enjoying the unfolding spectacle, while one opportunistic soul even readied his camera, eager to capture the amusing moment.

Meanwhile, inside the bathroom, (y/n) felt a mix of embarrassment and excitement flooding through her. As she donned the cat outfit, her cheeks flushed with a rosy hue, as if someone had sprinkled her with a dash of blush. The fabric hugged her form, transforming her into a feline enchantress.

[wavernot4love]

hello wanted 2 talk about a bunch of fun things from Thursday first show of War All The Time tour 2nite at the Town Ballroom in Buffalo (this will include setlist spoilers)

(starting with a random little video of title track, the rest of it is in the keep reading thingy)

- TURNPIKE DIVIDES FOR THE LAST SONG??? they let her see the light of day!!! i am probably the only person who has heard her at 2/3 of the thursday sets they have seen /lh

- geoff took the piss out of victory records for not paying bands while talking about how i'll be you & jbny are mirrors of each other then played them back to back (also described jbny as their heaviest song.... correct!!!)

- crowd was GREAT. great pits, surfing vibes, actually hell, vibes were just great all around.

- make sure you get there early so you can catch both many eyes & rival schools (steve (thursday) actually played for rival schools today which was cool). i thoroughly enjoyed both sets, and tonight honestly made me a fan of many eyes as a project. i wasn't sure what to expect receptionwise from a buffalo crowd [insert every time i die lore] but everyone showed up for keith (buckley, former singer of etid)/them. i also thought he/they did great, and he seemed genuinely humbled. also saw him around after the show, bro was loading out merch so i didn't wanna bother him, but yeah, dude seemed chill. really enjoyed the songs as well, i'll be spinning them and staying tuned for future releases for sure.

- between that set, everyone just feeling like a true community all night, & a cameo from a local scene legend (if you know hardcore, the singer of terror/buried alive was watching sidestage all show, keith shouted him out hahaha), let's just say i felt like how i'd imagine patriotic americans feel when they hear the national anthem, but the western new yorker edition.

- between rupture and rapture & division st. were probably my favorite non big singles. so great to hear watt in full dude and the crowd was very engaged the whole time

- one thing that really sucks is geoff explained as they came out that pretty much all their instruments randomly got stolen right before they left for tour, so they were a little panicky and stuff but basically, nothing was gonna stop them from having a good time in buffalo (paraphrased). apparently when they were sorting out the tour routing a while back someone told them they should start in toronto but they were like, nah dude, we want to start in buffalo. back to my western ny patriotism analogy, i see. anyways, now that's what i call resilience. they put on a great performamce with such great energy, you can tell this is a band that truly loves doing this whole thing. support the guys extra hard this run.

- as the opening bit of understanding started i looked back at the carnage going on in the giant pit that was open at the moment and had to just. smile at That being a moment people were crowdkilling each other to /lh

- i brought my (digital) point & shoot and shot from the crowd! very stoked on those as i was quite close all show, will update with those once i edit em! will probably also be posting a review kinda thing on my site/ziney thing once i get that back up and published

- one final thing that haunts me is the wonder of what geoff was talking about here in this instagram story post from earlier. i even stuck around after the show (which ended around 10:30) in case... i don't know, thursday were to fly out of some sort of confetti cannon at 11 pm sharp, i have no idea, dude. someday i will ask geoff about Minds Blown - 11.00pm

anyway, every time i've seen thursday this past year of having the joy of really knowing their music (i'd heard of them of course just through being in the scene for years, but had just never listened then) thursdayband has come 2 mean more and more to me and i truly hope they never stop playing together as long as it makes them happy <3

[quinloki]

THE MOST TAME WAS THE BRACES?

Jesus. My mom likes to joke that I was a handful and I'm tempted to say well at least I didn't do that. I was actually her mild child so idek what she's on when she says that. Had to pick my sister up from a party one time and she ran away into a corn field.

I'm over here in awe at your level of badassery, Quin.

Ah, hahaha, idk if it's badassery, most of it was really just dumb luck.

But I mean, I think at least part of why I'm content being a homebody at this point in my life is that I didn't have too many dull moments between... oh, 14-28 or so.

Joy and sorrow both for sure.

under a cut cause I went on a bit of a ramble!

I've had a rat fall out of a ceiling and land on me, a giant moth knocked itself out on a light and landed on me 😩, I had some drunk guy shove me down concrete steps once and ended up with just a couple bruises, had to escort police to the site of a several weeks' dead 6' long boa, learned how to disarm someone in my karate class because my ex was talking about, well, concerning things and I lived alone.

I've been in a handful of fist fights, and only lost one. Not that I should've really gotten into any, admittedly, but still. Survived 6 different stalkers, a one-night stand who turned out to be a drug dealer, and two "you shouldn't meet people on the internet face to face without telling anyone that's what you're doing" scenarios - for which I am quite grateful neither went terribly wrong.

And I don't mean those all bad things, just a short list of stuff that happened.

But I've lived out of my car, melted a steak to a pan (nearly setting my home on fire in the process, thank you whoever was looking out for me on that one), committed a crime for which the statute of limitations has LONG since passed (petty theft - I have said I was not a bright teen), had a job I still can't talk about cause that NDA is valid for the rest of my life (and the job was boring AF I swear on my smut-riddled soul).

I will say one of the coolest moments of my life was kind of silly, but I still love that I did it. I was working security - my cousin was my boss at the time, and trust me I got nothing special for it - but security tended to get along with maintenance.

One of the maintenance guys had stopped at the desk to talk to my cousin, and I lifted his keys. You know those big loop maintenance key rings with like 30 keys on them? Yeah, I pulled it clean off him and he didn't notice. He started to leave and I lifted my hand up, ring and all for my boss to see, and he just starts laughing, calls the maintenance guy to come back and get his keys.

I doubt I have the skill to do something like that anymore, but it might be fun to practice.

[malemacrofics]

Top O' The Mornin' To Ya, Little Laddie!

Request: "Could you do something with Jacksepticeye he definitely deserves a tiny guy and maybe transforming one onto his shoes or something hahaha" -@dabooi

Content: Foot Play, Playful Giant, RPF, Foot Worship

A/N: My first request! I hope you like it! Also, apologies for the length of time between uploads. Had finals the past week and I was very busy studying. But now it's summer, so hopefully my uploads will be much more consistent

You woke up with a pounding headache. The ground beneath you was frigid, what little skin you had exposed felt numb. Sitting up and rubbing your head, you looked around. There was a large object behind you, almost as tall as a building. A large glass face pointed in your direction. Through the tinted glass you were able to see what looked like electronic components. Wiring attached to various points inside, and you shuddered to think what the large fans inside could do if you got caught in them. To your left and right were large, black, metal beams. They looked like they were easily as wide as you were tall. And dead ahead was a structure you couldn't discern. Large plastic wheels, easily capable of pinning you if not outright crushing you, rested on the floor. More plastic beams connected the wheels to a central support beam that lead to a platform that had to easily be 75 feet above you, if not higher. From this angle, it looked like a regular gaming chair. But that was ridiculous, right? If the chair was that tall, you had to be miniscule!

Before you could decide on your next move, a large section of the wall beyond chair opened like a door, before a giant entered the room, closing the door behind him. As soon as the giant's face became properly lit from the ceiling lamp hanging from the sky, you easily recognized who it was. You'd been a longtime fan of his YouTube channel, his regular greeting long since ingrained into your memory. Walking through the door was none other than Jacksepticeye. However, your admiration and excitement quickly turned to fear. Each of his sneaker-clad footfalls caused thundering booms to resonate throughout the room. He was able to cross the miles long distance between the door to where you are in mere seconds. Or atleast, what seemed like miles to you.

As he pulled out his chair, you tried to force yourself to stand, to be able to do anything to avoid being spotted. However, luck was not on your side today. You hear the giant youtuber yell out "Oh fuck! What is that?"

As those words wash over you, you feel paralyzed. All sorts of emotions bubbling up from the pit of your stomach with fear being the predominant one. You turn just in time to see Jack reaching for a plastic cup that was sitting on his desk before dropping it over you, trapping you in place. Once he was certain the cup was secure enough, Jack removed his hand before bringing his face closer. You could his face in finer detail than any of his other fans ever would. But now wasn't the time for ogling his face. You ran towards the edge of the cup before pounding your fists against its surface. The cup still damp from the water it must've been holding previously. "What're you?" He asks, his voice muffled slightly by the plastic, "You're like some kinda... tiny guy..."

Once he said those words, you stopped banging on the plastic and instead started vigorously nodding your head. "Yes! I don't know how I got here!" You yelled out, doing whatever you could to let him know the truth. Jack seemed to register your words, or at least he was able to figure out what you were nodding at. "If ya promise not to bite me, I'll let you out. Understand?" Jack asked, hand already grabbing the top of the cup. You quickly nod your head in agreement.

A blast of drier air rushes over you as the cup is lifted. Jack places the cup back on top of his desk shortly before laying his hand next to you, palm up. "Climb on little guy, lemme get a better look atcha."

You hesitantly climb onto his palm, and he slowly brings you closer to his face. At this distance, and without the dewy plastic of the cup separating you, you're able to see a few beads of sweat on Jack's forehead. His now colossal eyes scan you head to toe before asking "So, I'm guessing you'll need my help to grow back to normal?"

"If you have any help to offer. Not like I can do much at this size." You respond.

"Well little guy, I gotta finish recording my new videos, and this sweat is kickin' my ass... Any chance you'd be okay with helpin' me first?"

You nod your head before even asking how you'd be able to help a titan like him cool down. But, before you're able to ask, you feel him shift as he pulls a socked foot out of one of his sneakers. "I'm gonna apologize ahead o' time for the smell. But if ya could just massage my feet while I record, I'll definitely help you grow back."

You don't even get to respond as Jack quickly brings his hand down to his open sneaker. Your nose is already being assaulted by the smell coming from the opening, but you strangely don't mind it. At least not as much as you thought you should. "God, the smell must be even worse for ya down there. I can't imagine being that small makes it smell any less. Thank you for this, little one." Jack says before turning his hand. You slide along his palm before landing unceremoniously against the warm insole. Your face immediately becoming slick with the youtuber's sweat. You turn just in time to see the socked foot return to its home in the sneaker.

You're pressed against the insole as the foot comes to a rest on top of you. The pressure not enough to squish you, but certainly enough to pin you in place. Your head is pinned between Jack's toes, and you can feel him wiggle and stretch them, almost playing with you. You move what little you can in an attempt to massage the giant's sweaty, socked foot, although you doubt you're doing very good of a job. Hopefully when this is over, you'll find a way to transform back. As much as you don't mind the smell, it's still incredibly powerful. Not to mention being pinned by this weight is far from comfortable.

Far above you, Jack continues to turn on his PC, scoot his gaming chair towards his desk and sit down. As he sits, the pressure pinning you gets relieved slightly, although not as much as you'd wish. Jack puts on his headphones and wiggles his toes one last time. Damn, that little guy is really comfortable down there, He thinks to himself as he opens the game he plans on recording. He seemed pretty willing to go into my shoe... Surely he won't mind if I keep him there a little longer than planned...

Little did you know when you entered your idol's shoe that you'd be finding your new occupation. Every day Jack would drop you in his shoe before going about his daily life. He'd record, exercise, or even relax while keeping you pinned under his sweaty feet. You weren't even spared the smell at night, when he would put you in his sock before putting it back on, pinning you against his bare foot all night. Eventually your duties grew past simply massaging his feet, as he'd force you to lap up his foot sweat and make sure his feet were sparkling clean. At least you had all night to worry about that, and at least your giant master was someone you already admired, right?

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Here’s a little something for the reverse Celestial Harmonies au for you guys.

Warning: snakes, transformation, Crowley makes a terrible dirty joke 

On with the fic!

--

Normally, Aziraphale would very much prefer to eat inside. Outside meant insects, dirt, a nasty gust of wind knocking his meal about, and the unholy heat of a summer day pressing down on him.

However, he’d rather all of that than to be inside, being lectured by his cousin Gabriel, who thinks he really should cut back on his lunch choices, and his little nibbles he kept hidden in his office. Aziraphale would rather brave the elements than be bossed around by his lunk of a relative. He huffed as he took a bite from his bento box, homemade by himself, hard to get decent ones out here in this place.

Well, not unless if he wanted to drive over an hour out of town, and he was tempted... he had done a day trip to Paris once just for crepes before. 

He sat at an empty picnic table, quietly working on his lunch, reading one of the books he had brought to the office with him today. It was one of the ones he had grabbed from the gift shop, a history of the park. It was rather fascinating, though Crowley tended to know more details than any of the authors did. He was too distracted by the text in front of him to notice something slithering up to him.

Aziraphale paused mid-bite as he felt something shift against him and he glanced down, nearly choking on his food. 

Something long, black, and smooth was slowly circling him. He swallowed the bite roughly, nervous as the creature moved around him, though kept his arms free. Then he noticed the start of the creature, the head, black as night that bled into a red underside.

This was a snake, and a rather large one, impossibly large! 

Aziraphale glanced around, but no one seemed to be paying any attention to the frompy man being constricted by a giant snake. 

The snake stopped, their head now eye level with Aziraphale, and he looked into large, golden eyes. Ones he recognized anywhere. Aziraphale huffed, giving the snake a look. “Really, my dear?”

He swore he saw them smirk, how can a snake smirk, before they shifted and the form became less scaly, though the colors weren’t too far off, black clothing, deep red hair, just more human in nature now. 

“Hello, Aziraphale.” Crowley said, happily sitting on the man’s lap, their arms loosely wrapped around his shoulders. “Fanccccy ssseeing you here.”

“Yes, well, I’d rather be outside than listening to Gabriel lecture me.” Aziraphale replied.

Crowley pouted at this, turning their head in the direction of the main building. “What’d the wanker do this time?”

“Oh, he... not today, but yesterday, I got a stern talking to about my, well, my eating habits.”

The demon snapped their head back to look at Aziraphale, suddenly looking on guard. “What’s wrong with your eatin’ habits? How’s that any of his business?” 

The blond sighed, wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist. “You know how he is, always has to nitpick about anything and everything that isn’t as boring and white bread as he is.”

“... Want me to put a mouse in his pants?”

“No.”

“A ferret?”

“Where are you going to get one of those?”

“I have my ways. No! A beaver! That might solve a lot of problems, but then again, I doubt he even knows what to do with a beaver.” Crowley was grinning, showing fangs, and Aziraphale blinked, before he burst into laughter at this. The demon snickered and leaned in, nuzzling against Aziraphale. “Knew that’d get a laugh outta ya.” 

“Crowley, that’s disgusting!”

“Hahaha! You got the dirty joke! Not so pure of mind, are you, angel?”

“Please, Crowley, I’m not that behind on euphemisms. Even I know what an eggplant means with those emoticons people like so much.”

That gave Crowley pause. “What does an eggplant mean in emoji?” 

“Oh my God, Crowley.” Aziraphale hid his face against Crowley’s shoulder, laughing harder now, leaving the poor snake very confused, asking for an answer. 

--

I am so sorry for the bad joke, it actually wasn’t meant to be in this, but I’ve had Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver stuck in the back of my head for a few days now thanks to me younger sibling who brought up that stupid song and... yeah. 

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Sin City

Welcome to “Jensen’s Stupid-Good Acting, Jared’s Fantastic Befuddled Face, and a PSA on Hurricanes: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

 Up today, s3e4: Sin City

 Sam and Dean investigate a town that has recently turned into a hotbed of vice. They figure it must be a case of demon possession—or a case of multiple demon possessions—but the more they investigate, the less it seems any of the folks who’ve suddenly turned murderous or suicidal or what-have-you is possessed. Eventually the boys figure out that there are demons involved, but only two, and all they really did was start nudging people toward their bad sides. No possession needed. It’s another case of humans humaning at their worst, for the most part. The boys take out the demons and hope for the best. Along the way we meet an old hunting buddy of Dean’s and watch Dean have a heart-to-heart with one of the demons about his impending trip to Hell and whether it scares him. Spoiler alert: it does, but he’s clinging to pretending it don’t.

 Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

  Lor:

 you hunt down those evil sons of bitches, Dean

 Mace:

 HA

 Lor:

 the SHOTS on this show sometimes. that stained glass window as a halo around Andy's head

 Mace:

you know, I though nuns would be made of stronger stuff than that

 YES

  Lor:

 right?

 one of my profs in college said "nuns may be married to god but they’re hell on wheels"

(I do not remember the context)

 Mace:

 HAHAHAHAHA

  Lor:

 Sam's laugh!

 Mace:

 YAAASSS

  Lor:

 "well it won't kill demons by then but I can promise it will kill you"

 Mace:

 I do love Sam in a tie

  Lor:

 I want the Dad!Bobby and His Sons Dean and Sam Annoy Each Other show

 Mace:

 YAS

  Lor:

 daaaw the pre-suits

 Mace:

 YAS

 if Sam’s a Buffett fan, I’m gonna have to do something about that

  Lor:

 HA!

please do

 omg Dean's face

 Mace:

 the juxtaposition of “this is my sister” and “this is my brother” is kind of hilarious

  Lor:

 HAHAHAHAHAH YES

 "until I came along your ass was toast"

 "fyi Winchester words hurt"

 omg

 Mace:

 SNORK

  Lor:

 omg the magic fingers his SMILE

 Mace:

 YES

  Lor:

 omg Dean and Sam having to pull him away

 Mace:

 YESYES

 ooof hurricanes

  Lor:

 "i do now"

 no idea what it is

 Mace:

 the reason I don’t remember an entire section of my trip to NOLA

  Lor:

 HA!

did it taste good at least?

 poor Sam. he's twitchy

 Mace:

 I…don’t remember

But I’m guessing yes

 he IS twitchy. he needs soothing

  Lor:

 "what a thrill"

 Mace:

 YES

  Lor:

 wow (i just have no experience with this)

 he DOES

do you volunteer?

 Mace:

 yeah, part of my ‘wild’ days

 I DO VOLUNTEER

  Lor:

 I AM SHOCKED

 Mace:

 “toys trump oils” THIS GUY

  Lor:

 "yeah, no, toys trump oils" haaaaahahaha

   Lor:

   Mace:

 HAHAHAHAHA

 (we HAVE to watch that movie together)

  Lor:

 (YES)

  Mace:

 HAHAHA

 welp, Dean was right - that guy can’t handle the job

 Mace:

 ope, Dean’s worried so he’s not eating!

  Lor:

 yyyep

 YEP

he's adorable

  Bobby smells like old spice and sawdust, I just know it

 Mace:

 ugh, LAUREN

 OMG YES YES HE DOES

and motor oil

  Lor:

 YES

 Mace:

 (old spice and motor oil is my dad 100%)

  Lor:

 (NICE. yep, old spice and oil or dust or gas--very competent older man smell. so comforting)

 Mace:

 (VERY comforting)

  Lor:

 look at his DUMB PROFILE

 Mace:

 YES

  Lor:

 "I just told her I had a thing for the bartender"

 Mace:

 SO SMOOTH

  Lor:

 is that a hurricane?

 I need to go look it up now

 Mace:

 it’s a small one if so

maybe they’re just giant in NOLA

  Lor:

 interwebs says it's popular in NOLA so maybe

looks like it's fruit juice, rum, and sugar

 Mace:

 “oh god” ADORABLE SAMMY

  Lor:

 OMG SAM

 Mace:

yeah that sounds about right

it’s the rum that’ll get ya

  Lor:

 "minor misunderstanding"

 Mace:

 SNORK

  Lor:

 "have a nice day?" HIS FACE

 yep. and with the sugar

 Mace:

 YAS

  Lor:

 my mom always told me to never drink sweet alcoholic drinks. shrug

 LOOKIT him standing there with his hands in his pockets

 Mace:

 that’s pretty much the only kind I will drink

don’t tell your mom

 YES and he’s SO SMART

  Lor:

 see, right? if i was gonna drink, I would WANT a sweet one

well. this is when I went to college. I don't think she'd have an opinion now

 "so are you. bitch"

 Mace:

 it was smart advice - with the sweet ones you don’t know until it’s too late that you’re hammered and at a college party, that can be…not good

 YES

  Lor:

 yeah

 ah Dean

 "having a little trouble there, sport?"

 "and, uh, he did pay attention in class"

 "everyone?"

 oh Dean, honey, you're just as smart as Sammy

 Mace:

 Yes you are, Dean. pets him

  Lor:

 "her place. for bible study"

 Mace:

 HA

  Lor:

 Sammy is giving very good slightly confused face in this episode

 Mace:

 YES HE IS

he’s adorable

  Lor:

 YEP

 and Dean is looking exceptionally pretty

 Mace:

 HE IS

  Lor:

 "I don't know. I'd like to" OMG

 Mace:

 I have trouble with Dean still not really believing in god at this point. how is there no god if there are all these demons who are allergic to churchspeak in Latin

  Lor:

 yeah, I agree, but his angst over it as he starts to find out that there is a god and he's negligent at best and evil at worst punches me in the feels

 Mace:

 oh well sure

 “what’s it like down there” oh DEAN HONEY

  Lor:

 "speaking of downstairs. what's it like down there?"

*WRAPS HIM IN SOFT THINGS"

 Mace:

 YES

he’s trying to look so casual about it, poor tiger

  Lor:

 YES

 "it's like a family business" SNORK

 Mace:

 YAS

 Sammy, dude, read this guy. he’s EVIL

  Lor:

 RIGHT?

 "sitting here like a couple of regular folk"

 Mace:

 yeah

 oh Dean

  Lor:

 omg his breathing gets heavier as he says "nah of course not" JENSEN

 Mace:

 RIGHT?!

He’s acts the crap out of this episode

  Lor:

 YES

which is awesome cause it COULD be phoned in. it's just a lot of talking. but he makes it MATTER

 Mace:

 YES

  Lor:

 "that's okay. hey, I barely respect you now"

 Mace:

 SNORK

  Lor:

 YES

 "thank god for that" pets him

 Mace:

 YEP

  Lor:

 "I was ready to follow Sam" that's gotta be a whole lotta weird feels for Dean

 Mace:

 RIGHT?! his second worst nightmare

  Lor:

 YES

 Mace:

 BOBBY!!

 YAS

  Lor:

 oh man I LOVE that Dean saying "Sammy be careful" tells Sam something's WRONG. that it's not just a throwaway

 YES Bobbyyyyyy

 Mace:

 YES

for all their trouble with communicating, in some ways they’re very good at it

  Lor:

 YES

when it's about work and/or when it's something they can ritualize (like having codes or something), it's effortless for them

 Dean's FACE when he says "you two?"

 Mace:

 YES and YES

 ooof that worried look on Dean’s face when Sam kills the girl

  Lor:

 YES

 "humans ain’t our job"

 Mace:

 YEP

  Lor:

 lookit him in his Dad's too big leather jacket over his adorable tiny self

 Mace:

 YES

 omg the lip quiver when he’s asking Bobby about Sam

  Lor:

 "you think... you think something's wrong with my brother?" that's it, that's the show

 YAAAAS

 Mace:

 I mean, Jesus, Jensen.

  Lor:

 RIGHT?

 Mace:

 yet it’s still not enough to make Lauren’s horrible acting palatable

  Lor:

 he SHOWS UP for every dang scene. it's amazing

 NOPE

 "oh I see" and Jared's managing pretty well given he doesn't have much to play off of

 Mace:

 YES HE IS

  Lor:

 "that little fallen angel on your shoulder"

 Mace:

 YAAASSS

  Lor:

 I get so caught up in "oh god Dean's gonna go to hell" that I forget that there's all this "is Sam really out of the woods of becoming the boy king of hell" stuff going on

  Mace:

Right?! So much happening

[the-firebird69]

ETERNALS (2021) Celestial Rises From The Earth [HD] IMAX Clip

We know you really haven't figured it out because you're so damned annoying. There's a one-to-one correlation and it's between the threats they have you do and what they're trying for there's huge stuff out there they are nervous afraid and very dangerous and plan for it to happen if they don't get control over these things they're in a lot of trouble and they are using threats by John remillard Stan and Mack and others on my husband to try and gain control of these everyday every hour then you're not even aware of it that's what it's all about mostly too and a huge chips that are in the polls but those ships are in hours for these Giants are and these people know it the max

Hera

Okay this is happening and it's real and they're threatening him like madness or something they had him do but it's really for full control now his armies are stopping them and they won't be able to do it forever and he's been screaming about it and this guy next door doesn't get it now are out there looking around we noticed that the monument valley is in that case place it's full of stuff that you can look at and down below it looks incredibly weird and we also noted that the upper desert there the black desert is completely insane you can't see through that clay and he's been saying it's probably in front of what the wall is made out of mostly and I got to look at it and he said it's possibly from a giant and we are going to go down there we understand what he's saying we going to get up there now

Ken the lawn mower guy from New Hampshire LOL it's mac daddy okay

We have to hitch a ride on this guy no we see what he's saying the max made it happen and they're trying to threaten for it and it's not working and they had Trump do the covid-19 and everything for these huge giants which I'll class almost everything and there's other stuff too we have to get going on this these Giants are so massive that everybody thinks they're fake and they sure as hell look real in the cinematics and the movies and what he's doing is something he knows what he's doing he's destroying a shell of something and it's the size of Earth and it's not earth and I I say this we have to get involved we don't even know where the hell that thing is

Ben Arnold

Hahaha very funny it was really me you said don't start yelling again Ben but been the same stuff and I'm saying stuff and it makes for a mental patient and I didn't figure it out something I keep saying stuff so people have me say stuff. What they're saying is they're having a threatened him because they got nowhere with my covid-19 it's becoming more and more intense and they have to get the stuff and they're starting to get angry and desperate I can I can believe this we're in a lot of trouble these things look weird and real and huge huge he says I need them and we have to stop him too we don't know what the hell's going on here but there's tons of Max down there that we have to figure it out

Trump

It's a giant you're f****** moron there's a huge mask on Mars you saw the Giants okay it's like one of those but it's over there in the desert you God damn idiot

Hera

Okay that giant was huge and we have to get to it he said these are a little different they're more powerful we have to tell you we have to go down there everybody leaves are up on Mars years ago and now they seem to be here and they could have just moved I have to tell you something these are massive Giants they're bigger than the ones on Mars and he says twice as big and those are like a thousand miles sunset 2000 and it's almost twice as big as 2,000 yes so we have to get going

Trump

We've heard this before so many times we're going down there and then we're going to drag the idiots there and yeah you can't see through that clay and her friends laughing you can't see through the ocean off Morocco either so we get it

Mac daddy

Olympus

[fkyumerica]

each area, circles on the map, to have their kids take care of their kids they left and the rest of them

how tall is she, how big is her head. She got to mate with all those giants then go giant. They made another big fucking everyone whore. Does she put her pussy on their hair too? Yea. Cupid area was they mated with the infants. Anyways. Kentucky ground. Wire. Blow it up.

is that carol. "my opponent" mama right im your mama. stfu and die.

she was running around at the neurologist office

cailigulaaaaaaaaaaa

she was taller than him

holy sht

and

cupid guard

chop off her legs

like in the mummy

holding onto a infant to fuck it

on her back

bent knees

hahahah robo

i googled legs chopped off the mummy

images

now jump

it was the group in the coliseum in the gladiator leading it, knew about it

the groups to kill

the rest was family didnt know or whoever went in it

wtf I wanna be that bitch again. him or her or who. the noroi guy. then full house after. her whole family to let out a bug. then bug houses the rest of the day. after. noam chomski.

uggghh

the water rape

to tko

gtfo

glenis

dead kennedy

yea we raped them

whole group on the ground

alive still

come back the next day begging

why why why

give me something

wtf

queer

make a punk concert

theyre in it

and push you down

wtf my ass

didnt have a kid

and

conceited

i know i got the biggest ass

good here too

alix said they used these

float

invincible

can do it again

cheat rob steal and fuck in your house

kids take it out of it

and if they hand me it i take it in and fucking mess up with it too new mom and dad in here whoa im new and come back and hit them

again

whaa

got the sex

good too

kids says the got the sex good too part

and we married hah take a picture

arm around the kid

her

too

dick

we can find the map to get her too (giant)

and all of it

see the blood man

after mating with 18 see his skull to crack. and they would number off. and his arms out after.

not knowing what any of it is

send it to mar ch again

it is march

once a year wtf go

rain

guitar

see the blood man

who

oo

ahhhhhhh

no fear

we live

so cute her

i do her

and terror

send cuer

wtf

85

one alert for sex

and they all fuck

heard it

kennedy

you and me

take her to, any leg surgery, i dunno i like it

and

went

to

march

i live this long

then sleep

come on

bed

a lot of the world that stayed was just short. and whoreing parties around the world you wanna go? mating was it.

theres the noroi kid

he had no eyes

and

the girl,, her head would go all the way back

isnt decapitated

like it was fabric or something cardboard cut out

and

a giant too

hwo to catch them

part of a litter, she was

her face was the ET

she was a giant

the grudge one

and kept inbreeding, for them to win

that was the point

have a kid throw it in the window

it is that big people go to it

they used the camera to edit their facess

of seecurity cameras

she only shows up when she is giving birth

or puts her son in her

it was her husband

any relative is

there were 44 of her with those faces

senritsu kaiki file kowasugi file 1 operation capture the slit they put face masks on them

it is like reverse bear trap

no shes alive

they will push in their molars to go in their eyes

they are shreks

they take a eye donation of a dead relative

i can draw it

cappa why

hahaha

i got my hair flower in the mail today

it is big

its so pretty i love it

now i gotta sew on the collar

and moddel it

shrek and fiona

she is as big as the garage next door

the neighbor will get them to leave

chris keeps saying no let them over

and thinks they are her kids

to attack me

for anything hahaha

her leader

no

what

well fuck your bear child

WTF was that

WTF was that

GIVE ME YOUR TRASH BAG

these guys did fk their moms

punch her head backwards

dad would drag her

and

shes knocked out

dead

i can fuck her

so her son would

and dad would hold her head and go oh no

so the whole area

would hop

and wtf i cant figure this out

woman didnt talk to her

or him

so they fucked as they wanted

anyone

and kids dump them on her she wants me to teach it

so they shit it out on her

and in too

rapists

abortion to in you

uma

make ghost noise

see i dont go back

make the noise for me to take my kid back

and shes my kid

go walk

hits her i dunno its her

her son would

for her to get raped by everyone

even cared

kids infants toddlers in their arms

sit it on her

flip it around its her

and the sons stay short she hits them on top of the head

she hits her son

and

the mom

and the dad

but super giant

dan and katie

her just born

grandparents

find her

and

again she gave birth 8 times

funny to her not to you, his mother is the one on the right or big boy raped him got him drunk or drugged him right before he said it

lied to a whole town

tommy lee

me and my whole family

the actor

and boomers was this

midget night

edit for grease

they took all the buildings

insane

huge skulls

midgets

clockwork

and

sun

wont be a dad them neither

and their moms

next to them huge too

or gay what is it

ewoks wasnt it

but hits them too to go giant

one on the ground

top of its head in

no cone head

wont set out cones either

wooo

planet of the apes said put it in the garbage, they arent even their word of the lord.

Wed 8:00 PM

they let out mass dope, empty right? the whole house

hole

you know you live young over 400 years

and the old men who fuck no face girls

and those guys to whoreing girls

haha joke

infant what

abortion

happened

fucked old men too wo ho ho hot

abandon house whoa.. uhhh

mmmm

they will just go in and fuck

and hey who wants to live here give her a play house

and school

yea amanda bye

shes et

and no face mask

they were c ommercials so no one moves south

or out

already our family did

i was nice once

to my state no

leaave

hell yea

and go to the map area where the land, have kids again, and float, and just leave wtf ever it flooded float to mee I feel my child make a church and it ended there, we found them, and news too woo hoo tubing the kids mated. Pregnant or not. I dunno leave it. The mummy guy said it. And movie get money go. Move in college area. Why build another one no one else moved in yet.

he brings over the kid after he fucks it

party fowl

it was alawys that if you party you cant bring it with you

oh and caught, oh and caught

tale of gregor, guys caught, suicidal, kill it too. marilyn manson

him hating everyone, is him. the whole time. curtis

im gay i can be your daughter- murder that obsessed italy, i am obsessed

gwen stefani/destiny- no im not you, yea she did it, hi

[aci32]

TOOL PART I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey everyone, here's my 12th review of 2023, Tool!!!!!!!!!! Reason this is my 12th review is because last show I saw was Unleash the Archers with Lutharo, but I didn't bother reviewing that show as to me that was more of a local show and I had missed Ammo at that time as well. But anyways, this was my 4th time seeing Tool and first time in 4 years seeing them as I last saw them on 11/12/2019, which was 4 months before Covid took a stranglehold on the world and when I saw Tool both times 4 years ago, they delivered the goods live.

Let's start the festivities!

First band up was Steel Beans. I had never heard about them before, but from what I saw it was a one man band who could drum, sing, and play guitar all at once and that took a helluva lot of mad skill to perfect those 3 things at once. In between songs the Steel Beans dude told a story of meeting a chap in a washroom in Saskatchewan and the chap said something about being in a small town and noticing the Washington state licence plate, and the dude said to the chap that they were heading to Manitoba to which the guy replied "Manitoba's a shithole" which drew laughs from the crowd and he then mentioned Toronto and Montréal and the chap said "Oh those are both shitholes and all they do is vape with that Blueberry cheesecake" and then went on another comical rant. All in all, he was more entertaining compared to Killing Joke. At the end of his set, there was a giant bag of popcorn that dumped from the rafters, which was fun to watch.

After Steel Beans it was time for TOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my 4th time seeing Tool as it had been 4 years since I last saw them which was their 2nd show on 11/12/2019 and at that time, Tool played a number of their hits which included Schism, Parabol, Parabola, Ænema, Vicarious, Forty Six & 2, etc. This setlist was more deep cuts this time around, which was a pretty good change of pace if you ask me. After Fear Inoculum ended, Maynard was telling the crowd to get loud and he said "Toronto, this is one of my favourite cities, don't embarrass me" and he then also said "Don't make me call you Montréal" which drew resounding boos, probably from all the diehard Argo fans who were still salty after they got trounced by eventual grey cup winners, Montréal Alouettes, hahaha 😆. He had also told the crowd to "Keep your phones in your pocket" in line to their strict no photos and no recording policy. Before Tool got into their last song Maynard had said "Here's the deal, take out your fuckin stupid cellphones you selfish entitled pricks" in which it was him trolling the crowd like he's known to do and he said "Here's the thing, people in the front, no light, no flash, no light, no flash. If you do it! We'll have no choice but to come down there and shit in your mouths" which drew resounding laughter and Maynard continued "I mean not healthy like runny option shit, but your hands are tied now, open your mouth wide. We love you, see you tomorrow". Maynard definitely was making the crowd laugh with his in-between song banters. I'll also say at 59 he's still got it and it's more remarkable he made a recovery from having contracted covid 3 years ago and having his lungs damaged from when he first contracted it in February 2020, and he's since contracted it 4 times but he sounded great on stage. Here's their setlist:

Fear InoculumPlay Video

The PotPlay Video

Rosetta StonedPlay Video

PneumaPlay Video

DescendingPlay Video

The GrudgePlay Video

Jambi(with Alex Lifeson) (with “A Passage To Bangkok“ intro and guitar solo)Play Video

Intermission

Chocolate Chip TripPlay Video

Culling VoicesPlay Video

InvinciblePlay Video

StinkfistPlay Video

Dancing Queen(ABBA song)

All in all a great show and a great way to spend a Monday night. Tonight is round 2 for Tool.

HEAVY METAL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[vienyx]

issei brain rot

“Issei!! I’m here to pick you up!”  I gleefully shouted when I spotted the thick eyebrowed giant that never failed to make me fall in love with him every single day for the last three years. He was just sitting on his chair without knowing that he looks so gorgeous doing nothing even when he’s just breathing. The way those dopey eyes looks at mine never failed to give me butterflies as it melts my heart like an ice cream that was unintentionally dropped in the middle of a desert.

“Pick me up? Yeah sure” his low chuckle made me squint my eyes. I swear this man is making fun of me like he normally does especially when Makki is around.

We were on our way to the gym, and I am aware that my life would be a lot more chaotic the moment we entered the gym. My first-year babies are still adorable but the second years are getting way more out of hand and don’t get me started with the third years. If I just didn’t let Tooru hear me saying that alien movies are freaking cool when I was hanging out with my cousin Hajime when we were kids, I will never be a friend of his and he will not force me to be this club’s manager. But if that didn’t happen, I definitely wouldn’t meet the love of my life. Ah seriously, what did this guy do to me to make me fall for him?

“Oh I gotta share this something funny that happened in our class earlier” I said while were walking, I could feel his gaze on me, so I continued even without him saying anything. “Well, you know that Makki and I are seatmates so I couldn’t really have a peaceful life here in Seijoh. But as I was saying, it was during our history class, HAHAHA it was going well and all until our teacher started sharing things about museum when someone suddenly farted HAHAHAHA it was so loud man! Then Makki just being himself suddenly said ‘did you know that there is a toilet museum?’ HAHAHHAH then our whole class was like--”

I wasn’t able to continue speaking when I noticed his loving stare and the sweet small smile that is plastered on his face.

“Well, that’s Hanamaki Takahiro. Anyways, you look really pretty today. What did I ever do in my previous life to deserve you?” he said as he cupped my cheeks and planted a soft kiss on my forehead before starting to walk towards the gyms again. 

It was so sudden. I was flustered to the point that I was frozen in where I am standing.

“But man how could someone fart in class, I bet that was really funny” how can he remain so calm and cool after what he just said. and he’s walking while laughing like nothing really happened. See? That’s my man. And this is how he keeps on making me fall in love with him. He never makes me doubt his feelings for me and with simple yet meaningful gestures he would always assure that I am still his only one. Ugh I just love him so much. 

[sanktpolypenbourg]

As far as the legal law-drones go, my skill and expertise are the lowliest of the low, not surprising seeing how I chose to work in a field that is Very Much Not My Passion, but I ASSURE you it is enough to make my skin crawl when I see some of the very bad amateur law takes... pretty much everywhere, but also, in particular, on this here tumblr

Some of the takes are so, so bad, you guys

Like fundamentally bad, like even across wildly diverse national legal systems bad, getting fundamental principles wrong type of bad, grown-ass-"legislators"-writing-laws-allowing-people-to-sue-third-parties-for-having-abortions-as-if-laws-were-the-type-of-tool-that-could-possibly-do-such-a-thing type of bad

...AND PRONOUNCED WITH UTTER CONFIDENCE

Like those are people who think they have it all figured out, who are gonna go all The Emperor Has No Clothes on the damn legal science

We all understand animals better than the law, right, so here is a zoology analogy, imagine an asshole declaring beavers to be lizards because their tails are somewhat scaly, or that triceratops was a giant 3-horned chamaeleon, wow are zoologists stupid for not having figured that out hahaha hoho

I'm sorry I am vagueposting I guess but as I said as a law creature who never even wanted to be a law creature I do not feel like I have it in me to personally Educate The Masses and lead the charge on this or that individual bad take (there are more than enough passionate law units around doing just that)

So if this post is gonna have any net value beyond personal venting, to help me not explode, it is this, regarding literally ANY subject:

I implore you, if you have not studied a specific field, not even on a passionate and well(!!!!!!!!!!!!)-researched amateur basis, do NOT talk about it like you are The Imperial Shit who is gonna make the whole thing obsolete with your exquisite thundering Gotcha, just by your plucky wits alone

[objectscountries]

(Almost entirely) AI-generated Markiplier video

(Setting: Let's Play video by Markiplier of Bruh Moment Simulator)

"Hello, everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Bruh Moment Simulator. Now this game has been highly reviewed by critics and fans alike, and it's been all the buzz... do people say that? All the buzz? Whatever! Twitter loves it, Reddit loves it, and now I am going to find out why. Here we go!"

(begin: part based off of AI, written by me)

"Okay, so this is a school. Kinda like Baldi's Basics, I- how do I move around? How do I control this game????? I'm pressing every button on the goddamn keyboard and nothing's happening! Oh, whoop, it's walking for me. Okay, now I get to control it. Let's see what these guys have to say."

"Hello? Hey? Hi? I AM HERE DO YOU hEAR ME HELLO !!!!! Okay, never mind then. What's that sign say?" (Markiplier walks over to the sign) "'Bruh Moment Simulator'. I... don't know what I was expecting, but alright. OHHH, the controls and the students not talking to me, THOSE are the bruh moments! I'm an idiot (laughs)."

"Alright, let's enter the school." (A giant monster immediately attacks the player) "WHAT THE HELL??? I LITERALLY JUST WALKED IN HERE, WHY IS THERE A GIANT MONSTER????" (The game now has a Dark Souls-like UI) "ELDEN RING????? Why is my weapon the Bruh Sound Effect #2 icon?????? Ah, well, I can do this." (Markiplier kills the giant monster and then begins to walk around the school, and the Dark Souls-like UI disappears)

(Markiplier enters the computer room) "Ooooh! Computer! Me like computer!" (He clicks on one of the computers and it loads up Pong, but all of the sound effects are the Bruh Sound Effect #2 sound effect). "Okay?? Bruh Pong??? This is boring." (He exits the computer and continues to walk around the school) "Um, where do I go?"

(end: part based off of AI, written by me)

(begin: part written by AI)

(Markiplier finds a student walking around) "Hey! Can you help me out?" (The student doesn't respond) "Hello??? Can you hear me????" (The student finally responds)

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Can you help me out?"

"Oh, yeah, sure, what do you need help with?"

"I need to get to my locker, but I can't remember the combination."

"Okay, let me see if I can help you with that." (Markiplier tries to open the locker, but it's locked) "Hmm, it's locked. Let me see if I can find the key." (Markiplier searches around the school for the key, and eventually finds it) "Here it is!" (He unlocks the locker and the student gets their stuff)

"Thank you so much!"

"No problem, have a good day."

(Markiplier continues to walk around the school) "So far, this game is just a bunch of fetch quests." (He finds another student) "Hey! Can I help you?"

"I lost my phone, can you help me find it?"

(end: part written by AI)

"Goddamnit! Not another one!"

"What?"

"It's under there!"

"...under where?"

"HAHAHA!!!!! YOU SAID UNDERWEAR!!!!!!" (Markiplier sets off a Bruh Bomb and explodes the entire school in a Bruh-splosion.) "Well, that was a Bruh Moment if I do say so myself! Anyhow, thanks for watching, like and subscribe for more bruh moments!"