#But it's necessary

[choosinganamebrokeme-notagain]

Soukoku 😋 - my take on what could happen in chapter 110

[fella-lovin-fella]

the best thing you can do for yourself is believe people when they say they love you.

[allthingsbucktommy]

You already know that we don't want to get into this kind of stuff, but due to certain things that have happened recently in the fandom, we have the need to write this:

First of all, trolls clearly need attention, and they are getting what they want, one way or another. Don't pay attention to them, report them, block them, disable anonymous asks for a while or forever if necessary. The tags (equal parts bucktommy and buddie) are for enjoying what people like, not for filling them with hate or even "k*** urself". We ask everyone not to continue fueling this madness. You already know what you have to do to make your space, and the entire fandom, a safe place, regardless of your preferences. Try to be more empathetic, and put yourself in the shoes of others, and how you would feel reading certain things.

Sending hate to the other fandom, posting about what you don't like about the other, etc, will not make Tim, the actors or whoever, decide that you are right, that they will do what you want. That's not how it works. Tim will continue writing what he wants, it's his show, not ours. If he or the cast sees certain things, all you will get is the exact opposite of what you want.

And on a more personal note, using "k*** urself", csa, murder, etc, to harm others, has left me speechless. These things that some want are very problematic, and I'm sure they don't realize what they are really doing, so I hope that at some point they will open their eyes and make peace with themselves.

That said, we will continue doing what we have always done, enjoying 911, all the characters, the good things about the fandom, and hoping to be able to share and spread all the good things that you write and create.

[roboticchibitan]

Craft update!

I'm tolerating heat even less well than usual which is saying something. I have POTS and a fun (derogatory) thing about POTS is it gets worse when it's hot so normally if I'm in an area that's above 75°F/24°C I get really nauseous and migrainy and faint because my blood isn't getting to my brain. This, naturally, makes me very cranky! And I've somehow been WORSE the last few weeks despite being better hydrated than I ever have been before.

So not only is it time to drag out the wrap pants and crop tops, but I've also ordered some linen and a linen/cotton blend to make myself two rectangle wrap shirts because I don't want to be evil all summer. I've also decided to make myself a detachable pocket cuz the wrap pants don't have pockets and I've started carrying around a handkerchief to wipe my long covid watery eyes and I can't shove that into my bra like I would my phone because it'll get sweaty and then I can't use it.

I also need to finish the green linen pants. Remember those? That I was doodle embroidering on? I finished the embroidery months ago and the embroidered pant leg has been lying in the reusable grocery bag that my serger is in. I didn't actually manage to get either item back to where it goes after my serger class back in.... March... There will be leftover fabric that I'm planning on turning into some kind of crop top. and let's not talk about the 3 yards of turquoise linen that's just lying around waiting to become another pair of pants and matching crop top

I don't particularly enjoy sewing. I do it because it's necessary. Either because I need something that's cheaper or easier to deal with if I just make it myself (hello yes I am plus size and very very short. I decided if I'm going to have to hem every pair of pants I ever own then I might as well custom make myself pants that fit right so they're at least comfortable) or because I know exactly what I want and it's impossible to find in a store (like plus size hot pink/bright turquoise/lime green linen pants with a 24" inseam). So I put off sewing and now I have a project backlog to work through. Ugh. And also Bleh. And ugh again.

[kakusu-shipping]

The Fight

Trying to pick up the pace a little bit, but I'm not very good at writing action so this might be a bit clunky. Please excuse me.

Mountain's Peak (Part 1)

Nepal Sanctum (Part 2)

Talk it out (Part 3)

In which we let it all out

Ramattra found his brother exactly where he expected to; Tucked away on the highest roof top of the Monastery's temples, an old withered place few monks visited simply for the egregious amount of single wide stairs clearly poorly placed by the original builders.

"Brother Mondatta is looking for you," Ramattra spoke with no worry of startling his brother, positive Zenyatta had already sensed his approach at least three levels down. The fact that he hadn't run was a good sign.

"He can look a while longer.." Zenyatta replied, relaxing from his curled up position to allow his legs to dangle over the edge of the building.

Ramattra sat himself down beside his brother, taking a moment to appreciate the view. The sun was setting, stars had started to dot the soft pink sky. From this high up, one could truly see on into forever if they desired to.

"You hit the human..." Ramattra finally pressed, giving a glance to Zenyatta, who curled back in on himself slightly.

"I did."

"You said you would only use what I taught you in self defense."

"I did not use what you taught me, dear brother. I used my fist."

Ramattra couldn't help the slight chuckle hearing his elder defend himself so sharply released. If he could still shoot back, then he couldn't be all that tore up about what he'd done.

"Mondatta will expect an apology when we finally return."

"I did nothing to him." Zenyatta once again uncurled himself, his legs once more dangling over the building's edge as he relaxed into the flow of conversation with Ramattra.

"To the human, Brother."

Zenyatta released a loud, dramatic sigh noise, clunking his head into Ramattra's shoulder. "I would rather be placed on cattle clean up for the next 7 years."

Ramattra chuckled once again, "And I would love to assist you with such chores, but that is not Mondatta's way."

"No... I suppose not..." Zenyatta's voice softened as he once more pulled his knee to his chest, placing a hand on the ground next to Ramattra for balance.

Ramattra found his hand placed gently over his brother's, keeping his sensors locked to the stars as he leaned his head atop Zenyatta's.

With the sunrise the brothers would make their way back down to the village, they'd catch Master Mondatta on his way back from his morning meditation, when the monastery is silent and the human is still asleep. Zenyatta would give his apology, and be given laundry duty in return, with Ramattra would happily assist with despite Mondatta's preaching on how one must face their misdoings on their own.

That would all come tomorrow. For tonight, the two sat peacefully on the temple roof top, hands intertwined in a painfully human way, counting stars until the sun arose the next morning.

That stare made everyone in the monastery uncomfortable. Bright red eyes that only ever saw the monks as who they were, what they had been made for, how they'd failed or succeeded at a task that had been forced upon them.

It was sickening.

Across from Zenyatta stood the human, shouldering off thick layers of cloth and robes and scarves until only one remained, tied tightly off at his waist by a cream orange cincture belt. He then removed the thick, straw woven snow boots Mondatta had made for him, stepping bare foot into the chalk drawn circle of the training area, holding his hands up in a ready pose.

He'd kept his eyes locked on Zenyatta, not in a glare of malice, or even his usual annoying fascination, but a neutral look that challenged him without words.

Ramattra's hand grabbed tightly to the back on Zenyatta's upper robe. He was shaking. He was going to stop this.

Zenyatta shoulder off his brother's grasp and the robe along with it, leaving him in only his pants and the red cloth he'd kept tied around his waist.

Stepping into the ring, Zenyatta stood wide and placed his palm against the human's, keeping their gaze locked.

"If you win, I'll leave. Permanently. And I'll tell every human I meet they're not welcome here." Emile spoke evenly, despite the rapid pulse Zenyatta could feel coming from their freezing fleshy hand.

He tilted his head in amusement, "And what will you get if you happen to win?"

This was the sort of confrontation that would usually draw this particular human to tears, so it was quiet the shock to see him hold together while speaking. "You can decide that when it happens."

'When' Zenyatta thought on, wrapping his fingers around the human's small hand. It was cold, and soft, and easily crushable in even the flimsiest of Omnic hands.

"Usually a match is called when one is forced from the ring, but that feels a touch too easy, wouldn't you agree?" The human nodded along with Zenyatta's proposal, "So we keep going until one of us taps, agreed?"

Zenyatta watch the human give a small nod once more

And then kicked them as hard as he could right in the stomach

Emile flew out of the ring, scratching to a stop along the stone flooring. He hacked and coughed, gripping onto his stomach. If he'd eaten anything for the past few days he surly would have hurled it up.

"Get up." Zenyatta spoke from the ring. The human did as commanded, pulling himself up on shaky legs. He did not glare at Zenyatta for landing the first blow, he did not look on in fear for how much stronger his opponent was, he did not bask in awe at how mighty a kick it was. He kept his neutral expression.

And that pissed Zenyatta off worse than anything else.

Blow after blow, the human continued to get back up. Even after he'd started spitting up blood. Even after his glasses were shattered on the stone ground, rendering him near blind. Even after he'd stopped being able to feet his fingers in toes in the cold and after his arm stopped moving and after his ankle had made such a horrible crack and swollen to the size of an orange.

And even after Zenyatta still stood perfectly pristine.

Emile hadn't landed a blow on his opponent. Zenyatta was starting to doubt he was even trying to. Had he even raised his hand once to the monk? Had all he done was stand there and take Zenyatta's blows?

Zenyatta clenched his fists, "Get Up." He demanded, as he had over and over again, to the human laying still on the stone before him. "Get Up and Hit Me."

Emile's form shook as he pushed himself up with only one arm, his white hair dangling before his face, tips red from his own blood. As commanded he got up on shaky legs once more and looked to Zenyatta with those red eyes that pierced into his history, a history he'd been trying so hard to ignore, to hide and run away from.

"Get up." Zenyatta demanded again after landing a hard hit right into the human's nose. It was broken for sure.

Emile did as commanded.

"Brother, that is enough-" Ramattra reached to grab Zenyatta, to put an end to this, but stopped inches away.

"It's not enough..."

The human's voice was ragged, breathless and broken and shaking. He sounded on the brink of death.. He very well might have been.

"It's not... enough...."

Blood mixed with tears down Emile's face, big wet eyes stared at Zenyatta, making the Omnic hesitate.

Ramattra wouldn't dare touch a human, but he made a motion like he was going to either way, "Human you cannot take much more, please just call it-"

"I CAN'T." Emile's voice cracked, he coughed, and took a step just to keep himself from collapsing, "I can't... it's not... enough... yet...."

The human but his hand on his wrist, and Zenyatta found himself mimicking the motion. His finger tips touched delicately at his exposed arm wire, one of many fragile pieces of himself he'd been forced to show to the world after nearly loosing his life before coming here.

He could still feel the human's cold finger tips on it...

"it's not... enough... to... ma...ke up.. for what... i..."

His body was too heavy, everything hurt, and the world was spinning.. In his last few moments of consciousness Emile braced himself for one more cold embrace from the stone steps of the battle field..

And instead found warmth...

[greenhorizonblog]

Homestead update

Had a long informative zoom call with my designated friendly advisor from the program yesterday :) We went through my goals and rough ideas for it all which will then be sent on to another advisor who will lay out a plan for my next steps in the project these next few months :)

[anangelcalledinquisitor]

hey does anyone else hate it when you're writing a scene and you have a specific direction you need to push the scene (to get to the next part you need to write) but the characters just refuse to let the dialogue happen naturally, and thus end up making you rewrite the dialogue

BUT THEN THE DIALOGUE TAKES THE SCENE INTO A DIFFERENT DIRECTION EVEN IF YOU TRY TO PULL IT BACK ON COURSE???

or is it just me?

[becaexists]

Just got a call from one of my friends, they've just found out they go to the same uni that Technoblade went to and they're very very excited

[chickensarentcheap]

Last Line Tag (or something like that)

I was tagged by @mrsmungus and @themaradaniels. Thank you lovelies!

I am leaving the tag open for anyone to participate.

But I will tag some of my readers. It’s from a filler chapter,  but it has some stuff (that probably seems boring AF) in it that gives Esme some more background :)

@tragiclyhip, @munstysmind, @youflickedtooharddamnit, @secretaryunpaid, @appletreesinwinter and anyone else that reads:

“There are way too many delicious things to choose from,” Esme laments.  “But I think I’ve narrowed it down.  Between the lemon and pepper swordfish and the mussels and shrimp fettuccine.  What do you think?”

“I think you should get whatever you want.”

“They’re kinda expensive though. And probably huge portions. Last thing I need is to get fat.  I’ve already put on ten pounds since I moved here.”

“Must be invisible because I sure as hell don’t see it.”

“All my clothes are getting too tight. I’m going to need new ones soon.  And then you’re going to find me gross and unattractive and some pretty little thing is going to catch your eye and…”

“First of all, that’s never going to happen.  We’ve had this conversation. More than once.  There isn’t going to be anyone else.  No one is going to show on my doorstep, or catch my eye, or anything like that. Second,  I wouldn’t give a shit even if you did gain weight.  You’re the most beautiful woman on earth.  I don’t want anyone else. Just you.”

“Still…”  she sighs, and chews on her bottom lip. “...maybe I should just go for a salad.”

“Maybe you should just order whatever you like.   I don’t know if you grew up with this kind of thing, but you don’t have to be this way with me.  Never with me.  So please…”  With his free hand, he snaps her menu closed. “...just get what you want.”

“But they ARE expensive.  We’re not exactly rolling in cash.  Are you it’s okay?”

“Are you honestly asking me for permission? To order food?”

A blush creeps into her cheeks and she quickly diverts her eyes.  “I hate that I’m like this.  I hate that this stupid shit never leaves me alone. Just when I think I’m over it and I’m doing okay….”

[greencreeker]

.

[swan2swan]

It felt a lot more like going to get a shot this year than throwing a stone in a war, but I voted.

[thatsneakymedic]

Hey! BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out. 💕

// !!!! I will pass on the love, but it's so sweet that you sent this! I did kinda need this since offline, I'm kinda sad as I had to throw away so many old things and clothes that I didn't need or fit anymore and the fact that I had to, to move on with my life made me feel so many bad things about myself that I rather not mention here.

I do hope that your tooth problems are fix soon, since my sister is also going through that too and I know how it feels to know that someone is hurting and there's not much you can do for them. Sending you and your muses lots of appreciation and love. ;_;

[paradoxesofgalaxies]

Oh no. I was wrong. My neck is very much still not ok.

The migraine just came roaring back and anything putting pressure on my neck is nauseating.

Beanie-Boo went to cuddle husband and burst into tears the moment our head touched the pillow. He helped them settle down and they told him about the pain and that we did too much yesterday and that I knew it was too much but didn't stop and asked him to tell me I can't do anything today.

So yeah, I've been banned from doing anything today. Husband told me I need to just rest today and everything else can wait. I protested at first bc I was supposed to get groceries today but he assured me we have enough leftovers and groceries can wait. If I really need something today, our partner can pick it up on her way home.

So I guess if anyone wants to send me asks today I'd super appreciate the distraction. It's gonna be tough resisting the hyperfixation drive to keep embroidering. I'm open to asks about parts stuff, chronic illness/disability, things I've mentioned you want me to expand on, or anything else ^^

[4fahy]

I miss loona so much

[violent-darkness]

I had an informal dinner with people from work. One of those "not mandatory" events which you absolutely must attend. I put on my fake smile, acted like I was having fun, thinking the whole time how I could've actually spent this time doing the things I love like catching up with tumblr and fics, reading a bunch of Wikipedia articles I have on my bookmarks for days now and cuddling with my partner and my cat. But noo spend your precious extremely limited free time in a fake social environment. This drained my energy completely.

[christadeguchi]

MONKEY MAN (2024)