#But treating them as such too much can lead you down some really weird paths

[jonnywaistcoat]

Hey hows it going? I was wondering if you have any thoughts on putting characters you've created through misery. Strangely, I was more okay with it last year, but now I feel guilty when I read about misfortunes that are important for the story.

But that's just how a horror/tragedy exists, right? It's a better story when the characters don't escape unscathed. Is it tough for you to write or re-read that sort of thing? Thanks for your thoughts, and your stories.

So, what you have to remember, and I cannot stress this enough, is that the characters your create are not real. That may sound dismissive, but it is something that's worth reminding yourself of occasionally - these characters are not actual people, they are constructs in you mind and the minds of your audience. They cannot suffer or be harmed because they do not exist. So when considering how you write them and what you write happening to them, the only things that matter are the effects those decisions have on you and on your audience.

In terms of suffering, imagining not-real people suffering can have all sorts of effects on you and your audience, depending on how you're writing it, and the key is to make sure you know what effect you're trying to achieve and why. If you don't like writing bad things happening to your characters, then don't do it - write the stories you want - but don't not write stuff out of a sense of guilt about it. Or perhaps go a step further and actually explore those feelings in your writing, because your characters are concepts that allow you to engage with things like this.

[francesminos-tt]

Pride and Prejudice au part 3

Joffrey dreaded the ball that was to be held in the Red Keep. He never enjoyed balls, but he had never dreaded attending one either. He would accompany his omega brothers to these social gatherings as a loyal chaperone, though Jace had told him multiple times that he was too young to be one. Joffrey always shrugged it off. He had not the slightest interest in socializing or finding himself an alpha husband, so he’d rather keeping an eye on his brothers than making awkward conversations. This time should be no different. He would show up at the ball with Jace and Luke, have a nice glass of wine and retreat to a good vantage point after his brothers started dancing, just like he had done many times before. However, for the first time, Joffrey felt reluctant to show up at all.

“What’s matter, Joff? You are awfully quiet this evening.” Lucerys called for his younger brother after they settled down in the drawing room after dinner.

The three brothers each had their favorite spot; Luke preferred the cushioned armchair near the hearth, cozy and domestic, an ideal space to read a letter or do needlework. Jace often chose the sturdy reading chair that had been brought back by Daemon from Pentos, a good book in his hand to pass the time. Joffrey, on the other hand, lived up to his carefree nature by choosing to sit on the window sill facing the garden. It provided him with a nice view of the small but lovely garden they had, and also the path leading to their cottage. Joffrey was always the first one to spot any visitors or passing carriages. Unfortunately, since it was already dark outside, all Joffrey could see was his own reflection on the window, with a troubled frown lingering on his brow.

“Not just tonight.” Jacaerys added, “You have been acting weird since you went out to the market in the rain, Joff. Did anything happen?”

“I am fine.” Joffrey shrugged, trying to avoid the topic, “Nothing to worry about.”

“Are you still not feeling well?” Lucerys got up from his armchair and joined Joffrey on the window sill, before placing his hand on Joffrey’s forehead, “You don’t feel warm. Perhaps Elinda can make you some concoction for relaxation.”

“I am perfectly fine.” Joffrey insisted, “It was just a small cold, which I have completely recovered from.”

Joffrey had caught a cold from staying out in the rain for too long a few days ago. By the time he made it back that day, the rain had made a complete mess of him. His dress was covered in mud, dark curls soaked and plastered to his face, and he was shivering from cold. He nearly gave his mother a heart attack. Rhaenyra’s thoughts immediately went to the darkest places, and honestly, who could blame her? Her unmated omega son had come back in such a horrible state, as if her worst nightmare had come true. Thank the Seven that nothing scandalous had happened. A small cold sounded so much better than other situations in Rhaenyra’s mind.

“How did you forget your umbrella in the shop? Did anything happen?” Jacaerys asked for the first time since that day. He knew his brother well. Joffrey might appear carefree, but he was not careless. It was unlikely that he had forgotten the umbrella at the shop out of carelessness, not to mention it had been raining on his way home. Something must have happened that made Joffrey rush back without his umbrella.

“Nothing happened.” Joffrey blew a strand of naughty curls from his face, “Really. I swear. I was just too caught up in conversation with Ben. I would have gone to the shop to retrieve the umbrella days ago if mother hasn't grounded me.”

“Mother didn't ground you. You were too sick to leave the cottage.” Lucerys reminded him.

“Whatever.” Joffrey rolled his eyes.

Their maid, Elinda, brought them tea and thus interrupted the brothers’ conversation. The middle-aged woman was well respected by the three brothers, and in turn, she treated them as her own. Joffrey, in particular, admired her wit profoundly.

“I finished ironing all your gowns for the ball.” Elinda said as she placed a silver tea tray down on the carved table next to Jacaerys’s armchair, “Do you need me to iron your new gloves as well, Master Jace?”

Jacaerys’s blushed visibly, but he managed to keep a straight face. He had received a new pair of silk gloves this morning, along with a carefully folded letter from Captain Stark. Joffrey had been worried that Captain Stark might tell his brother about his embarrassing encounter with Uncle Daeron, but judging from Jace’s earlier questions, this was not the case. Captain Stark had just earned another point by keeping his nose out of Joffrey’s business. Joffrey made a mind note to support the good captain should he decide to confess his love to Joffrey’s brother.

“No, thank you, Elinda. I will take care of it myself.” Jacaerys said politely, ignoring the teasing glare of his brothers.

“Very well.” The woman nodded before turning to Lucerys and Joffrey, “I’ve added some new ruffles to your dress, Master Luke. I think you will like it. As for you, Master Joff, your mother decides to make you a new dress. You have overgrown your current one.”

“I don't need a new dress.” Joffrey murmured.

“You need a proper dress to attend the ball at the Red Keep.” Elinda said firmly, “You don't want to make your mother look bad by exposing your ankle for all to see, do you?”

Joffrey had grown taller in the past year, now the tallest of his siblings. His current dress had become too short, its hem barely touching the middle of his shin. It was considered inappropriate in formal social events, like the ball to be held in the Red Keep.

“I’ll stand in the corner the whole night. Nobody will notice me.” Joffrey argued, though he knew it was impossible to convince Elinda. That was probably why his mother had sent the maid to inform him of the decision in the first place.

“Nonsense. You will be swarmed by reckless young alphas who are desperate for your attention.” Elinda stopped in front of Joffrey and smoothed the young master’s evening gown, “You have your mother’s fine figure. One has to be a fool to ignore you.”

“That’s exactly what I try to tell him all the time!” Lucerys exclaimed, “Come on, Joff. I will help you pick up the perfect dress. You will be sure to impress everyone!”

Joffrey had not the heart to reject Lucerys’s enthusiasm, though he dreaded to meet Daeron again in the ball. His feeling towards his youngest uncle was strange, unlike anything he had felt before. Initially, he thought it was annoyance, or even hatred, but Joffrey would not feel so hurt by the words from a person he hated. Daeron’s attitude should not affect him so. Daeron was just an arrogant, thick-headed, stereotypical alpha, who Joffrey should hate the most. Why would Joffrey care about Daeron’s opinions about him? Whether Daeron considered him a dishonorable omega or not was none of Joffrey’s business, right? Then why was he so desperate to prove his uncle wrong?

“Luke is right, Joff.” Jacaerys joined the conversation, “I am proud of you no matter what, but I will be very excited to see you in the new dress.”

What could Joffrey say? He was not cruel enough to deny his dear brothers’ excitement.

“Fine. I will be your dress up doll,” Joffrey said in feigned annoyance, “but just for once.”

Joffrey tried to ignore his own excitement. He didn't want to dwell on the fact that he was secretly very flattered by his brothers and Elinda’s words. He didn't lack confidence, no, but it was always nice to have his self-esteem boosted once in a while. Joffrey couldn't help but wonder how Daeron would react to his new dress. Perhaps Joffrey could make the alpha speechless by pretending to be a perfect omega. See what Daeron had to say then.

Joffrey smiled to himself after making up his mind. Wait and see, uncle.

Joffrey ended up with a double-layered dress that hugged his body like a glove. The under layer was made from white satin, paired with a sheer silk overdress in the color of burgundy. The wide scoop neckline showed off Joffrey’s full bust, and made his neck appear longer and more elegant. The overdress was adorned by intricate flower embroideries, so rest of the dress was kept simple, slightly flared skirt, puffed sleeves, and high waistline.

“You need a pair of long gloves to finish the look.” Rhaenyra said after observing her youngest omega son closely, “You can use mine. Elinda, will you fetch my lace gloves, please?”

“Mother, please, do not bother.” Joffrey pleaded, a bit uncomfortable with all the attention. He was sitting in front of the dresser in Rhaenyra’s room, surrounded by his mother, Elinda, Jace and Luke, and his other two younger brothers, Aegon and Viserys. Now, Luke was fixing his hair, while Jace was trying to pick out the perfect rouge shade. Rhaenyra had half a dozen of different shawls laid out on her bed, trying to choose the perfect one for Joffrey’s new dress.

“You look very pretty, Joff!” Little Viserys claimed, taking Joffrey’s hand and planted a sloppy kiss on it, “Will you dance with me?”

Viserys was far too young to ask anyone for a dance, but Joffrey smiled at his little brother’s cute mimic of alpha etiquette.

“Of course. I will save my first dance for you, Vis.” Joffrey replied.

“I want a dance too!” Aegon waved his little arms, reluctant to be left out, “Joff, I want a dance too!”

“How about you two dance with me together?” Joffrey chuckled, “I can use extra support for spin.”

“Okay!” Aegon nodded seriously.

“Come, egg. Let’s choose the color of Joff’s rouge first.” Jacaerys put his arm around Aegon to keep his brother in place, “What do you say? Pink or red?”

“Red!”

“Excellent taste, egg!” Lucerys chimed in, “Deep colors suit Joff’s complexion the most.”

“Here, my dear,” Rhaenyra put a cream colored shawl decorated with shimmering threads around Joffrey’s shoulder, “how do you like it?”

“I don't know, mother.” Joffrey admitted, “It looks nice, I suppose.”

Joffrey was being honest. He had little experience or interest in dresses. He had no idea why everyone seemed so keen to dress him up, but he appreciated their kindness. He looked in the mirror, and was greeted by a face that felt so familiar yet so foreign. His skin looked supple from all the creams and toners that Lucerys had put on his face. His makeup was simple and fresh, a thin layer of white powder and some castor oil on his eyelids to make them shine. Jacaerys was putting the final touch to his face by adding some color to his cheeks and lips. His wild curls were tamed by Lucerys’s skilled hands, now bouncing gracefully on his shoulder. Joffrey almost failed to recognize his own reflection in the mirror. The somewhat unkempt omega was gone, replaced by an elegant image of a perfect omega.

“You look good with extravagant designs.” Rhaenyra kissed Joffrey’s head, “This shawl was a gift from my dearest friend Laena. It once belonged to her grandmother, Lady Jocelyn. The threads were made from mother-of-pearl, a technique unique to Driftmark. I think Laena would be happy if I pass it down to you. You both have free spirits.”

“I can’t just take such valuable piece from you, mother.” Joffrey rushed to say, but Rhaenyra shushed him by a pressing a finger on his lips.

“No, take it, Joff. I insist.” Rhaenyra took the pair of long gloves from Elinda and put them on Joffrey’s hands, “There, you look wonderful, Joff. I am sure all the guests at the ball will be mesmerized.”

Not all guests, Joffrey thought to himself. Captain Stark and Uncle Aemond would be too busy courting his brothers to notice Joffrey. At least that was a relief.

There was a bell from downstairs, announcing the arrival of the carriage. Jace and Luke rushed to finish their own looks before the brothers went down to the main hall. Their stepfather, Daemon, a veteran from the Army, waited at the front entrance.

“I know you don't need to hear it from me,” Daemon said as he gave them a courteous salute, “but you all look ravishing, especially you, Joffrey. I can’t even believe my eyes. Who could have thought a wild boy like you will look so different in a nice dress?”

“Stop making fun of my son.” Rhaenyra elbowed her husband, saving Joffrey from another fit of wild blushing.

“I will take it as a compliment, father.” Joffrey replied, grabbing his fan so hard that he was about to snap the poor thing. Thank God he was wearing gloves, so no one could see his knuckles turn white.

“It is, son.” Daemon led them out to the carriage. The coachman had served the family before, a patient and trustworthy man. Daemon exchanged a few words with the coachman as the three brothers boarded the carriage. The carriage was not the most spacious one, but large enough to comfortably host three young omegas.

“Don’t stay too late.” Rhaenyra reminded them, “Be careful and have a wonderful night, boys.”

“Yes, mother.” The brothers replied in unison as the carriage slowly left the country cottage and went for the Red Keep.

The journey to the Red Keep was a smooth ride. Joffrey barely felt any bump before the carriage arrived at the magnificent castle looking down at King’s Landing. The main hall was already brightly lit, and they could hear the lively music as the brothers walked arm in arm to the entrance. They were quickly mesmerized by the grandeur of the Keep, as well as the number of guests walking past them. The ball seemed to have a much bigger scale than they had expected.

This keep should belong to mother. This could have been our house, Joffrey thought as he stepped in the nicely carved door. He was immediately greeted by a strong aroma of perfumes and candles, the mixture of flowers, herbs, incenses, and other exotic spices almost suffocating him. Jace and Luke clearly shared his thoughts; Jace cleared his throat while Luke covered the lower half of his face with his lace fan.

The ball room was already packed with guests. Everyone was dressed in their best, especially those unmated omegas and alphas. A social event of this scale was the perfect place to find a potential mate. If Joffrey didn’t know better, he would say this was a whore house judging by the overwhelming pheromones. Compared to the extravagance of the guests, the room itself was decorated with green silk drapes and ribbons, adding a little solemnity to otherwise giddy event.

“Jace! I am so glad you can make it.” A tall figure in soldier’s uniform went straight to Jacaerys, failing to acknowledge the other two omegas.

“Good evening, Captain.” Jacaerys curtseyed perfectly, a pink hue slowly climbing up his cheeks, “It is nice to meet you again.”

Cregan Stark bowed and planting a light kiss on the back of Jacaerys’s hand. The gesture wasn’t overly inappropriate, though it did feel rather intimate, especially for a soldier like Stark. However, the good Captain seemed to care not about his public show of affection.

“You choose to wear my gift.” Cregan said with a bright smile, “How do I like it? I am afraid choosing gifts is not my specialty, but your brother was kind enough to offer his help.”

“It fits perfectly. Thank you, Captain.” Jacaerys smiled back while shooting Joffrey a glare, “My brother never told me anything about gifts. I hope he didn't force you into buying anything too extravagant.”

“Hey! Have a little confidence in me.” Joffrey chimed in, “I am not a gold digger.”

Cregan seemed a little taken back by Joffrey’s choice of words. Granted he liked the youngest omega’s friendliness and carefree nature, yet he was still surprised at the vast vocabulary of street slangs Joffrey seemed to have.

“Joff!” Jacaerys hissed.

“No, not at all.” Cregan said, “Mr. Joffrey was very helpful and considerate. Besides, nothing is too extravagant a gift for you, Jace. You deserve the best.”

“How are you enjoying the ball so far, Captain?” Lucerys spoke before Jacaerys blushed himself to death.

“Oh, the ball is nice. Lady Alicent made a great effort to entertain her guests.” Cregan replied, as if he just noticed Lucerys’s presence, “But the scene is bit too sumptuous for me.”

“It never hurts to enjoy the occasional luxury in life.” Lucerys smiled. He didn't seem too offended that an alpha failed to notice him, because he knew Captain Stark only had eyes for one person.

“I suppose you are right.”

The band switched the upbeat music to a slower one. The brothers were all familiar with this song, for their mother often played the same song on the piano in her drawing room.

“Why don’t you ask Jace for a dance?” Lucerys nudged his older brother, “He’s excellent at dancing to this tune.”

Cregan took the hint and asked Jacaerys for a dance. Though still embarrassed by his younger brother’s teasing, Jacaerys accepted the offer with grace. He was desperate to get away from the teasing smile of his brothers, especially Luke. Jacaerys made a mental note to get back at Lucerys later as he followed Cregan to the dance floor.

“Now, Joff, let us find you a dancing partner too.” Lucerys linked his arm with Joffrey and dragged his brother to the other side of the room, nodding and smiling to numerous strangers in the process. Joffrey didn't know any of them, so all he could do was smiling along like a complete idiot.

They settled at the lounge area near the main hearth, where only a few chaperones sat. The group of old ladies were enjoying their champagne while keeping a close eye on their respective young wards on the dance floor. Lucerys shoved a glass of wine in Joffrey’s hand.

Joffrey gulped down half a glass in one go. The room was too crowded to his liking.

“No! Joff!” Lucerys stopped his brother before Joffrey could finish the glass, “I didn't give you the wine to drink!”

“Then what are you giving me the wine for?” Joffrey asked and licked the wine drops from his lips. He would have wiped the wine clean, but he couldn't ruin the pristine gloves he was wearing now.

“For you to use it as a disguise while you observe the room.” Lucerys rolled his eyes dramatically.

“Why would I want to observe the room?”

“To find a dancing partner, of course.” Lucerys brought his own wine glass to his lips, and turned his eyes to the crowd. He pretended that he was sipping the wine, but Joffrey could tell that the red liquid only touched his lips. Lucerys casually observed the room, as if he was just resting after an intense dancing session.

“Oh, Aemond is here.” Lucerys said after spotting an unmistakable silver head in the crowd, “Who’s the man he’s with?”

Joffrey looked in the direction of Lucerys’s gaze. Aemond wasn’t dancing, but stayed in the corner with an unimpressed look on his face. He seemed to have dressed up tonight, the usual moderate leather jacket replaced by a more festive one, with green silk lining on the shoulder, collar and sleeves. His eye patch was lined with golden thread too, adding a bit creepiness to his features. There was another man standing next to Uncle Aemond, conventionally handsome, with golden hair and pale complexion. The man’s hair was too golden to be a Targaryen, so Joffrey knew he was not one of Aemond’s brothers.

“I don't know.” Joffrey shrugged, retrieving his gaze, “And honestly, I don't care.”

Lucerys hummed, still curious. Fortunately, his curiosity didn't have to last long. Aemond finally noticed Lucerys’s gaze and walked towards to them with the blonde man trailing behind.

“Good evening, nephews.” Aemond greeted the two brothers with his usual seriousness, “I hope the journey here wasn’t too cumbersome.”

“I won't say it was pleasant,” Lucerys replied, twirling the wine glass in his hand, “but we managed.”

Aemond nodded, his lips pursed into a thin line. If Joffrey didn’t know any better, he would say that his one-eyed uncle was annoyed for some reason. Yet there was no reason for Uncle Aemond to be annoyed.

“Why aren't you dancing, uncle?” Lucerys flipped his soft curls over his shoulder, exposing his smooth neck. A thin layer of sheer silk covered his scent gland, but it only left more room for imagination.

“Aemond is persistent not to dance tonight.” The blonde man spoke, his grey blue eyes turning back and forth between Aemond and Lucerys, “But I think he’s about to break his own words.”

“Uncle.” Aemond glared at the blonde man.

“Don’t glare at me for speaking the truth, Aemond.” The blonde man shrugged, relaxed and unaffected by Aemond’s death glare.

Now was Joffrey’s turn to be curious. He hadn’t met anyone who could mock his scary one-eyed uncle without consequences. Daemon could probably do it, but Daemon didn’t count. Daemon would mock a dragon if he had the chance. Besides, Daemon was Aemond’s uncle. Aemond called the man Uncle too, which meant the man must be a Hightower.

“Gwayne Hightower.” The man introduced himself, “Glad to make your acquaintances.”

Gwayne bowed to Lucerys respectfully, but he kissed Joffrey’s hand as a greeting. The clear difference made Lucerys raise his eyebrow and Joffrey blush.

“I would kiss your hand too, but I don't think Aemond will be too happy about it.” Gwayne explained with such kind humor that both Lucerys and Joffrey laughed at his words.

“Stop trying to charm everyone, uncle.” Aemond took a step closer to Lucerys, as if trying to shield the omega with his body, his scent of leather and ash growing stronger.

Gwayne shrugged, a teasing smile on his thin lips. He turned to Joffrey again, and offered his arm to the young omega.

“You must be Joffrey.” Gwayne said politely, “I have heard a lot about you. Will you honor me to a dance?”

Joffrey had never expected to be asked for a dance in a grand ball like this. He had only attended small social events before, with familiar guests from his precinct. Everyone in the area knew about Joffrey’s wild nature, so no one was foolish enough to ask him for a dance. It suited Joffrey just fine, for he had neither the interest nor the skill to dance. However, he couldn't help but feel flattered when a handsome alpha like Gwayne chose to ask him, out of all other omegas in the room, for a dance. Gwayne’s gesture fed to Joffrey’s pride perfectly.

“Well, why not?” Joffrey placed his hand on Gwayne’s forearm, “Though you will have to put up with me, sir. I am not the best dancer.”

“I doubt.” It seemed that Gwayne had more confidence in Joffrey than the omega himself.

The pair moved to the dance floor in the surprised eyes of Joffrey’s brother. They joined the dancing crowd in the middle of a song. It took Gwayne almost no time to catch up with the rhythm, but the same could not be said about Joffrey. Joffrey loved a little merry dancing from time to time, but he dreaded the formality and social norms of dancing at a ball. Fortunately, Gwayne guided him through the rest of the song by keeping his arm around Joffrey’s tiny waist. The blonde spin Joffrey around in a flamboyant movement when the song ended, sending the omega into a fit of surprised laughter.

“Where did you learn how to dance, sir? I swear I have never seen such technique!” Joffrey asked as they lined up for the next song.

“Just a little trick I’ve learned from the Army.” Gwayne replied with a smile.

“Are you an officer then?”

“I just got my honorable discharge from the Infantry, so I think I might as well visit my sister before I decide what to do with my life.”

“Your sister?” Joffrey tapped the floor with the heel of his shoes before turning.

“Yes, Lady Alicent is my sister. She’s the host of this ball.” Gwayne grabbed Joffrey’s wrist to keep the omega’s balance, “I understand that she has a history with your mother.”

“That’s a nice way of putting it, yes.” Joffrey scoffed, “I am glad you are not as hateful as the other Hightowers.”

“Well, thank you.” Gwayne laughed, “I am indeed very flattered to get such an opinion from you.”

Gwayne didn't seem to mind that Joffrey’s rude comment about his family, which made him more than tolerable in Joffrey’s books. Gwayne wasn’t as upright as Uncle Aemond, and he was certainly not as arrogant and snobbish like Daeron. He was wittier and less awkward than Captain Stark, and gentler than Daemon. He could easily be at the top of the perfect alpha list, if Joffrey were being honest with himself.

“You seem to know a lot about me.” Joffrey said, a little out of breath from the aggressive dancing moves.

“Just as I said, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Gwayne, on the other hand, sounded perfectly calm as if he was having a conversation at the dinner table other than the dance floor.

“From whom?” Joffrey blushed a little after realizing that he sounded too rude, “If you don't mind me asking?”

“My youngest nephew, Daeron.” Gwayne replied, “He just can’t shut up about you.”

Daeron’s name was certainly not the answer Joffrey expected. Why? Daeron hated him, right? Why would Daeron talk about someone he hated?

“I hope he only talks good things about me.” Joffrey frowned, his mood souring the moment Gwayne mentioned Daeron’s name.

Gwayne didn't answer. Instead, he pulled Joffrey towards his chest, covering the omega with his scent of forest drizzle. Gwayne’s scent was prominent even among the crowd of other alphas, indicating his high status. However, his scent wasn’t intrusive, as was expected for a high status alpha. Instead, it was gentle and refresh, a nice compliment to Joffrey’s own herbal scent.

“Sir?” Joffrey was taken so off caught that he barely reacted as Gwayne’s hand slide down to rest on his lower back.

“You are very beautiful, Joffrey.” Gwayne whispered in his ear, “And you smell nice.”

Joffrey twitched uncontrollably as a tingling sensation rushed up his spine. He had never come so close to another alpha, not even his stepfather, so Joffrey had no idea how alpha’s pheromones could affect him. He felt dizzy and hard to breathe, as if the walls were closing in on him. His vision narrowed, and all he could see was the sheen of sweat on Gwayne’s forehead.

Just when Joffrey was about to fall forward, someone grabbed his arm and dragged him away from Gwayne’s chest. Another alpha scent joined, fiercer, harsher and more familiar. The two pheromones seemed to be in a battle against each other, the scent of incense trying to dispel the rotten smell of the rain. Gwayne’s pheromone alone was already too much for Joffrey to bear, and the addition of another made the omega stumble and lose his balance.

Shit. That was the last thought in Joffrey’s mind before his world went dark.

Joffrey woke up in a cool and dimly light room. The distant music told him that he hadn't passed out for long. He was disoriented for a moment, but the memory of fainting in the middle of the dance floor quickly jolted him wide awake.

“Careful.” Someone said to him as the stranger rubbed Joffrey’s back soothingly, “How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts.” Joffrey murmured, blinking to regain some clarity to his vision, “Where am I? How did I end up here?”

“You fainted earlier, so I brought you to an empty room.” The stranger replied, “Here, have some tea. You are a bit dehydrated.”

Joffrey emptied the cup obediently and handed it back to the kind stranger. However, he soon found out that the man taking care of him was no stranger at all.

“Uncle Daeron?” Joffrey’s eyes widened in surprise.

Daeron had a small frown on his brow, the dim candles in the room casting a shadow on his angular face. Even a fool could tell that he was holding back something. Probably anger.

“Who do you expect? My uncle?” Daeron scoffed, “I suggest you not to get too familiar with him.”

“Who I choose to be acquainted with is none of your business.” Joffrey retorted. He just couldn't stay calm around Daeron for more than a few minutes. He was about to thank the stranger who had saved him from further humiliation, he swore he was, but the moment he realized the stranger was Daeron, his thankfulness turned into guarded annoyance.

Daeron probably only intervened to save his own face. It would definitely make his mother and himself look bad if Joffrey caused a scene on the dance floor. Joffrey was sure that fainting in public failed to meet Daeron’s standards of a perfect omega.

“I am just asking you to be more careful-” Daeron stopped after seeing Joffrey’s annoyed face, “Never mind. Sorry I overstepped.”

That was unexpected.

“No need to apologize, uncle.” Joffrey spoke, the edge in his voice had faded by now, “I suppose I should thank you for saving me from humiliation.”

“I thought you were not interested in dancing.” Daeron said, “I am shocked that you decided to dance with my uncle.”

Joffrey had nothing to say to that. He didn’t know what had gotten into him, but Gwayne’s charm was impossible to reject. His mother would like him to dance too, right? He didn't spend hours fixing his hair and dress if he were only to stand in the corner.

“I am entitled to dancing from time to time.”

“I am sure you are.” Daeron laughed dryly, “The dress suits you very much, by the way.”

“Thank you.” Honestly, Joffrey had no idea where this conversation was going. Since when did they exchange pleasantries instead of arguing at every chance they had?

Daeron stood up from the chair next to Joffrey abruptly and walked to the cold hearth. Joffrey watched him go, confusion building up.

“Nephew, no, Joffrey,” Daeron spoke, “I must confess that I didn't notice you losing balance by accident. I am keeping my eyes on you all night.”

Joffrey was speechless, so he stayed silent.

“I noticed you the moment you walked past the entrance. How could I not? You are ravishing in your dress. The color complimented your features so well that I almost mistook you for an angel. And your eyes. You have no idea how beautiful your eyes are. Dark, wild, and full of the liveliness that I only wished I could have.”

“Wait, uncle, what are you talking about?”

“Please, let me finish, because I cannot hold back any longer.” Daeron turned to face Joffrey again, his face full of emotion and pure affection, “I fell for you since the first time we met. You were half drunk, but it only added to your charm.”

“Stop making fun of me, uncle.” Joffrey stood up as well, his confusion slowly turning into annoyance again for Daeron must be messing with him again, “I am not your perfect omega. I speak rudely, I make friends with other alphas, and I suck at dancing. I look ridiculous next to my brothers. How could you fall for me?”

“No! You are not ridiculous!” Daeron took Joffrey’s hands, now out of gloves, into his and squeezed gently, “Forgive my earlier attitude. I was only acting out of jealousy. It should be me who stays at your side, not Stark or my uncle. My heart sings every time I lay my eyes on you, nephew. Will you accept my love, Joffrey, and make me the happiest man ever existed?”

It was not about accepting or not. No. It was more about believing the alpha in the first place. Was Daeron telling the truth, or was his confession an orchestrated way to humiliate Joffrey? Joffrey had never seen Daeron as a potential mate. Daeron was just another stereotypical alpha who regarded omegas as inferior creatures. He didn’t even respect Joffrey’s views. How could Daeron claim to be in love with him?

“I am sorry, uncle.” Joffrey pulled his hand back, shivering slightly as the warmth of Daeron’s skin left him, “I cannot return your affection.”

Joffrey fled the room before Daeron could speak again.

[fandsart]

The platonic stobin prompt of wedding guests.

I accidentally implemented prompt 9 as well

Robin was really hoping her parents wouldn’t find out she had plans to attend Hopper and Joyce’s wedding. Even worse is that it was all thanks to her own big mouth. It just slipped out at dinner last night and now she’s insisting on taking her shopping for a formal dress that she knows Robin doesn’t already have.

She ends up coming out of it feeling like she’s showing so much skin, because anything with more coverage is ‘probably too formal,’ and ‘it’s still more than your old Scoops Ahoy uniform.’ As if that uniform didn’t have an accompanying counter covering the rest of her from most people most of the time and still remained a curse laid upon her.

She calls Steve pretty much as soon as she gets home. He lets her go on the rant about the audacity of her mom and how annoying it was to pick something out she felt halfway comfortable in and how much time she felt like she’d wasted since she didn’t even want to wear it.

“Just give me the outfit we planned for you to wear before the wedding day, and then when it comes, you can get dressed again after you leave your house.”

“Yeah, except she wants to drive both of us to the wedding.”

“First of all, I’m a legal adult who isn’t related to her at all. She can’t make me do anything. Second of all… Why?”

“Surpise! Finding out that we were going to a wedding together did nothing to sway her perception that we’re dating. She wants to be involved in ‘the closest thing to my prom experience’ or something.”

“Man, your mom is so weird. She thinks that you talk too much but gets annoyed that she’s not more involved in your life?”

“ I think she’s reliving her childhood, vicariously, through me.”

Steve lets out a kind of grunt that Robin can tell means he’s rolling his eyes.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

It’s only two days before the wedding that Robin’s mom really puts her foot down. Not only would she not allow Robin to go to the wedding at all, but she’d be grounded for the next two weeks, if Robin didn’t let her drive her and Steve.

When she tells Steve, he lets out the biggest groan she’s maybe ever heard from him before asking what color the dress she got is.

“Why?”

“If we have to use it, we’re gonna match.”

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

Steve glares at Mrs. Buckley the entire trip to the wedding. There’s no reason he and Robin both need to be crammed into the back seat except that it makes Mrs. Buckley nostalgic and she thinks it’s cute. Steve hasn’t been treated like this since he was maybe ten and the fact that Robin still has to deal with this infuriates him on her behalf.

She’s kind of hunched over herself, holding the end of the dress over her knees. When they finally get dropped off he finds her practically hiding behind him as they make their way to the seating area of the venue. Until Steve diverts their path and starts heading to the bathrooms.

“Whoa, what are you doing?” Robin asks, still trailing behind him.

“We don’t have to deal with this.”

She scoffs. “Technically I’m the one dealing with it.”

“Oh, please.” He leads her to the family bathroom and she follows him inside.

“So the plan is…” she prompts.

“Switching outfits if you’re down for it.” He doesn’t expect her to step back with uncertainty. “What? It’s not like we haven’t shared clothes before. We’re only off by, like, one size.”

“Yeah, but we’ve never shared a dress before. Are you sure you’re comfortable wearing one?”

He shrugs. “I’ve never worn one before so I’m not entirely sure, but I’m pretty sure I’ll at least be more comfortable in it than you are right now.”

“Ok, but… people will see you.”

He puts his hand on her shoulder comfortingly. “Only our friends. And we can always explain the situation. They already know dresses make you uncomfortable. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

They do get some double takes, but a lot of the group had seen them enter, and had looked more confused at Robin in a dress than Steve. They must have inferred what happened themselves. The only one who really scunches their nose at the visual is Mike, who retreats with an eyeroll when Steve flips him off.

The wedding itself goes on without a hitch. Joyce looked beautiful in her dress and Hopper made a joke about his own ‘intense journey to getting in shape for this wedding.’ It’s nice, and no one even pays attention to Steve past the initial double takes, and Robin is much more physically comfortable.

But the night ends soon enough, and they have to re-change before Mrs. Buckley has to pick them up again

Still accepting prompts from the Prompt list

[rxttenfish]

ironically i don’t actually like miranda ships that have her with anyone who’s too passive or eager to please. that just feels like a recipe for disaster for me, because even though miranda very sincerely tries very hard to make people happy and to accommodate for them, she’s also... well, miranda. she has her own very specific ideas on what is wrong and what should be done to help, and anyone who will lay down and let miranda do whatever she wants without ever raising a fuss or calling her out will quickly discover how miranda can and will trample over boundaries that she wasnt told about.

its kind of weird to talk about i suppose, because its not a dynamic that comes up in ships all that often, but in experience from my own relationships, sometimes you need someone who won’t take your shit! sometimes you need someone who’s a little combative! and i don’t necessarily mean arguments or fights in the traditional sense either, but rather a kind of boldness and a lack of fear that comes with someone who isnt afraid of you or the possibility of having a fight.

and likewise there’s another extreme to this, where someone is too upfront and aggressive about confronting miranda about her issues, because she’s just... she’s in the kind of situation associated with a very particular headspace and a way of looking at the world, and all of which involve her being told that there are people who will disagree upon these things with her, and that she should immediately shut their arguments down and refuse to budge and dig her claws in deeper and deeper. trying to push someone who’s in that kind of high control group situation too hard often only ends up forcing them deeper in, confirming how hostile and terrifying the outside world is and that it can’t be trusted, that only the high control group can be trusted.

so there has to be a middle ground between total passivity and outright rejection, and it’s the very specific space of being challenged in a way that feels safe and even secure. someone who will not walk all over you, but will not let you walk all over them either, who will question things that should be questioned but will not shove an answer in.

it’s why i don’t really like shipping miranda with any of the PCs — their primary, defining character trait is a willingness to do whatever and say whatever it is to get the object of their affections, and while i certainly imagine miranda loves to have people fight over her and her affections, i can’t see it working out long term in the slightest. there are two people in every relationship, after all, and thus both of them have to be considered as their own independent entities with their own emotional and mental worlds and needs. all too often in ships people will either treat the PCs as non-entities or miranda as a non-entity, and it just doesn’t work out for me, imo. if i wanted to just focus on one or the other, i would just focus on one or the other

all of this being why miravi actually works so much better for me, although certainly there are other ships that reach the same end. aaravi’s definitely the kind of person to immediately show how displeased she is whenever something happens that she doesn’t want or when someone is trying to make her do something that she doesn’t want to do, and these dual traits of being combative and very vocal about it immediately mean that miranda can’t say that she wasn’t aware or that she missed some cue. 

likewise, aaravi makes her wants and needs very quickly known and won’t let someone else force her away from them, so there is an alternative path that becomes very clear, and forces miranda into a point of negotiation to figure out something that can work between the both of them. meanwhile, aaravi, in being more standoffish, has the greater attitude of other people can do whatever so long as it doesn’t get in her way, which helps prevent the issue i was talking about in forcibly taking miranda’s hand and leading her to something, and how this often has the opposite of the intended effect. aaravi, in being a bit more of a token “lone wolf” type who wants to demonstrate how much she doesn’t need other people (even despite evidence to the contrary), actually helps miranda in trusting her further and seeing her as an equal since aaravi is neither trying to gain her approval and love, thus treating her as a superior, nor trying to push her around to make the “correct” decisions and be the “correct” type of person, thus treating her as an inferior. 

she’s just... aaravi, and will quarrel and push back if miranda tries to overstep, but won’t expect anything from her in turn. even if this is ultimately because of some pessimistic view on aaravi’s side and an assumption that the world is solely out to get her, it does work out in miranda’s case, sort of leading me back to my whole point of mutually compatible damage. it’s easier for each of them to intuit what the other needs and what is too far after these initial boundaries have been set, because they have an easier time seeing where the other is coming from after they actually start talking. in a weird way, they’re both already familiar and aware of the tropes that the other is playing off of, as aaravi in playing a token video game protagonist role, is already aware of the trope of the princess with the evil family, and miranda in playing a fairytale princess role, is already familiar with the knight or hero who was pushed into this role and uncertain of their own humanity or goodness. its an extra little layer of understanding where each one is coming from, without necessarily needing to elevate or suppress the other’s position.

TL;DR: i don’t like a lot of miranda ships because elevating her and treating her as a superior is just as dehumanizing as debasing and treating her as an inferior, and the best miranda ships, in my mind, strike a balance between the two characters where they treat each other as equals

[bells-of-black-sunday]

Going to be very up front with the warnings for this one, because it involves Damian: Do not read this if you cannot handle discussions of self harm and mutilation. This is a man who took the 14th century practice of harming yourself to get rid of sin to a very extreme level, there will be a lot of that being discussed with sexual undertones. I mean it, I will be delving into uncomfortable topics involving it and while I won't be going into detail, I am still discussing it.

With that out of the way:

Damian is a very troubled person, he obviously had to have some reason that pushed him to live on the streets and take the path he did. Now I am not going to sit and speculate on his history or mental health, quite frankly I don't really care that much. What I do want to talk about however is his obsessive dedication to suffering to the point where you cannot have multiples of him in one party, because as he puts it "The burden of suffering can't be shared".

How I personally read it from his in game barks and what they come from, I think it's something very sexual for him that he's tricked himself into thinking is holy. I mean he literally was beat half to death by drunk people leaving a tavern and "forgave their sins" finding power in the pain that was inflicted on him. But with lines where he is practically begging people to hurt him it's hard not to read it as having sexual undertones. He wants to be hurt. He calls it ecstasy and hints in his amorous lines he wants to be hurt in the bedroom too. Still, he is a deeply religious man and calls it his holy path and says his blood itself is holy even going as far as telling people to drink it.

I don't think it's a mask for any deeper depression or anything like that, I think he's just a freak who doesn't know what kinks are, because it's a vague medieval/victorian period setting and their isn't even a label for it yet. It's easier to label it as God telling him he's on a holy path, because he can bear the suffering for others and carve out their sins on his own skin while enjoying himself in the process.

Okay onto actual "I literally have no in game supporting evidence for some of these" headcannons:

To be very up front and blunt; he self mutilates a lot to pretty extreme degrees. This is very obvious with his trinkets and level portraits. You have trinkets that are the pliers he used to remove some of his teeth, in the second game you have the part of his face he cut off himself, and lets not forget the brand he has that he burns himself with. I think he chases the pain, he loves the extreme forms of it, why else would anyone skin part of their own face off? Still, it did lead me down a rabbit hole that made me wind up on a study about eunuch's from the various cultures that practice it which talked about a extremist religious movement in R.ussia and S.lovakia from the 1800s where they'd practice it on themselves to make their bodies pure.

I think it makes sense that he'd be the same way with how he speaks about his body being holy and him being a part of a extremist chapter of the church, though to be a tad more tactful about it, I think he just gelded himself. If he's willing to remove his face for supposed holy reasons, it makes sense he'd go far in the other direction too especially with how dark the game can get. I don't think he regrets it at all and I doubt it comes up much and he absolutely is still a freak so obviously it did not do much. I don't think other people care much either, he can still enjoy himself. He's also a stupidly devoted lover, that man is an abandoned dog that attached himself to them. He is begging at their feet and wagging his tail every time they compliment or insult him, when he loves he falls hard just in his own ways. He's still very weird about everything he does, so expect him to ask them to hurt him or ask for their confession. He also holds grudges, so you better treat him right.

I think he's also extremely pleased with the symbol he carved into his chest and hates when he's not bleeding even minorly. He will absolutely be weird about other people's scars and get too far in their personal space to call their scars beautiful especially if he's into them, he pretty much preens himself over every wound and scar he gets. This man will never shut up if you get him started about it, he gets excited talking about it and will start pushing caltrops into his skin idly while he does so.

He is very anemic. Do not let him stand up too fast, he will get so dizzy.

Every inn room he has basically is his own penance chamber, he sets it up that way and rubs vinegar into his wounds when he's done praying. He has to confess nightly, it's a routine for him for all the harm he's done on the road, he has to keep his path holy. He would never be led astray which also makes him quite the stubborn party member and probably makes a lot of them hate mornings, because it takes so long to leave. This man prays a lot every day. Him and R.eynald probably do it together sometimes, but I don't think J.unia will ever like him very much with him torturing her and all when they were still at the abby.

For as much as he hurts himself, I don't think he pushes it onto others beyond an occasional comment about telling them to find power in the pain. He is very pushy about his religion though, that much is very obvious. I think with his whole line about not wanting to share the suffering that he just doesn't push it as the only correct way to worship, but he will also hear the parties confessions and carve their sins into his flesh so that they may be pure. It's weirdly a very nice gesture if a little disturbing.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (June 1/2021) - All Roads Lead to Rome

Ponk tears down one of the towers of L’Llamaburg for overshadowing his supreme fridge.

Tubbo creates a new outpost just outside Las Nevadas to overlook the country.

Techno has a birthday party with the Syndicate and Quackity comes over to bring a message. 

Quackity speaks with Foolish in Las Nevadas about his future plans for the country and roads.

Niki finds out about Wilbur’s revival. 

Bad asks for Techno’s help with destroying his enemies, as he’s upset about L’Llamaburg violating the buffer zone agreement. Puffy confronts Bad about the brewing war.

---

VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Foolish

Tubbo

Technoblade

Nihachu

BadBoyHalo

Captain Puffy

---

- Ponk tears down one of the towers of L’Llamaburg

- Ponk sends Foolish through the labyrinth he built

- Afterwards, they visit the turtle sanctuary

- Ponk shows Foolish that he tore down the tower for overshadowing his supreme fridge. Foolish points out that he and Puffy don’t have the best history. Ponk is still bitter over Puffy destroying Sacrifice’s shrine

- Tubbo creates an outpost on a mountain just outside of Las Nevadas to keep an eye on the country

- Quackity comes over and asks what Tubbo is doing. He says he’ll speak with Tubbo later

- If anyone asks, Tubbo will say it’s just a cookie outpost from Snowchester

- Foolish comes over as well and tells Tubbo that he sent Punz on the mission to find the nuke

- Tubbo asks why Foolish has left Snowchester. Foolish says he’s trying something new -- he’s joining Las Nevadas, actually

- Foolish takes Tubbo on a tour through Las Nevadas. He asks if Tubbo would want to join Las Nevadas, but Tubbo declines

- Techno starts off in his house. He walks outside to find Niki, Phil and Ranboo launching fireworks for his birthday! They also set up a table outside the house with some cake

- After they eat some cake, Techno asks what he’s missed. He’s gone off into the wild to train, while Phil thought he was hibernating. Techno asks if they found out Tommy actually died. Phil tells him he did, but Dream brought him back

- Speaking of things brought back...Wilbur is back too. Niki and Techno are both shocked. Phil tells them that he’s actually living in Phil’s house currently. He tells Niki Wilbur’s changed for the better

- Techno brings Steve out

- He notices the new forest, which the others say sprouted up. It just appeared

- The subject returns to the revival book. Niki says, if Wilbur and Tommy have been brought back, there’s one person left that can be brought back that they don’t want back: Schlatt

- Niki asks if there are any new governments. Phil says no, Snowchester is still there but nothing much has happened that they need to step in on

- They solved the government issue with brute force. Techno says it was “mild property damage,” but Phil disagrees, saying it was mass destruction. They agree to just blame everything on Dream

- While he was away, Techno studied the blade. He suggests a training session for Niki and Ranboo

- Techno has something to do. He leaves, noticing Quackity standing on a hill nearby

- Quackity says hello. Techno tells him it’s his birthday (he’s not sure how old he is, though) and Quackity thanks him for helping with the Egg. He asks if Techno has visited Dream (Techno hasn’t)

- Techno went to the Dream SMP equivalent of Italy on vacation

- Quackity tells Techno he’s been visiting Dream, and that while in prison Dream seems to be a completely different person. Techno asks if Dream’s been treated well, and Quackity says he’s fine 

- Just a few days ago, Dream told Quackity that he wanted Techno to visit, that he finally wanted to call in a “favor”

- Techno explains that the “favor” is that he has to get Dream his favorite meal at some point, since they were at a restaurant once and Techno forgot his wallet

Quackity: “He’s changed a lot. If you walk in there, he doesn’t seem like the person he’s always been, which is weird, how a person can change just like that.”

Techno: “It’s strange what five months of near total isolation can do to a person...as we know, it’s always a positive effect.”

- Sometime during this weekend, Techno will visit. Techno asks if Quackity has any written message from Dream, and Quackity says he can probably get one. He only has notes right now

- Techno asks if Quackity is telling the truth. He would hate to be lied to on his birthday...Quackity says he’s not lying, and as he said, he’s glad they set aside their differences

Quackity: “At the end of the day, scars fade away, Techno...”

- Quackity says goodbye and leaves. Techno wonders if he can trust him

- He returns to the others and they celebrate some more

- Phil takes them all down to show off the training arena he made in the basement

- They go back up and talk some more

- Meanwhile, Quackity meets Foolish at Las Nevadas. He asks about Tubbo’s outpost, and Foolish says it’s a cookie outpost. Quackity tells Foolish not to trust it, realizing he actually hasn’t talked to Tubbo recently

- Quackity is bothered by how clear the view of Las Nevadas is from the outpost and questions why Foolish didn’t stop Tubbo from building it

- He asks the last thing Foolish did in Las Nevadas as they walk over there, and then whether or not he’s already discussed the possibility of a “contract” of formal citizenship

- Quackity wants to get to know Foolish better. He makes sure that he can trust Foolish, confide in him certain information

- Foolish remarks that Quackity seems like the kind of guy who would make a lot of enemies, and gives him a set of Netherite armor

- Speaking of making enemies, Quackity takes Foolish over to the lake to look out at Wilbur and Tommy’s headquarters. Someone paid them a visit

Quackity: “Have you ever met...Wilbur?”

- Foolish hasn’t. Tommy told him a bit. Quackity points out an empty spot in Las Nevadas where he wants something done. He tells Foolish he just paid a visit to an old friend and he went unprotected, so the Netherite is a good idea

- Only two people have just given Quackity armor, and one of them is Quackity’s “right hand man” at the moment: Sam. Foolish mentions Sam screwed him over with L’Sandburg

- Quackity points out Eret’s cobblestone ocean pyramid. This country needs more citizens, more things built

- He shows Foolish the gambling machine and gives him diamonds to try out. Foolish wins Linda! 

- Their objective with Las Nevadas is to build the biggest, most powerful country, and Quackity’s read his fair share of Sun Tzu. He’s actually helped run a country before, which Foolish is surprised to learn (countries are before Foolish’s time)

- Quackity says he’ll talk to Foolish soon and leaves for a couple minutes before returning. He asks for PVP lessons, but Foolish hasn’t done much fighting for a while

Quackity: “I do all my fighting through dialogue, if you haven’t noticed...That’s my biggest weapon, Foolish, it’s the way I say things, everything, all that. But I think, you know, given what could come of all this...”

Foolish: “I was gonna say, I don’t know if that will work forever...unless you’re very, very good with your words, eventually you’ll say the wrong words.”

- Quackity suggests they make their own lookout outpost 

- Quackity has some plans to show Foolish, a project he thought of when he was thinking about making Las Nevadas. His first plan was to build a highway system

Quackity: “They say all roads lead to Rome...in this case, all roads lead to Las Nevadas.”

- He shows Foolish some sign ideas and Foolish says it would be no problem to build up some roads

- Quackity shows Foolish an old idea for a path with rail lines on both sides, layouts for advertisements

- The first place Quackity thinks the road should go is the Spawn area, for when someone joins or dies. Quackity is annoyed that Tubbo blocked the route, but they can go around it

- They plan out the path of the road. Foolish asks if Quackity wants the road to go to Kinoko Kingdom. Quackity goes silent before saying he wants to focus on the main attractions right now

- Quackity leaves again to go check some things

Foolish: “When you choose a side, there’s always other sides...which means I can’t be buddy-buddy with everyone forever.”

- Foolish does the boat slime jump. Quackity comes back with food and continues to discuss plans. Besides connecting everyone, they also need to make cash off of this highway, so he wants to make sure there’s plenty of advertisement

- L’manburg is destroyed, but it also has a lot of history. Quackity’s noticed no one’s really claimed that area. Wilbur and Tommy are neighboring them now. Foolish asks if they’re enemies...Quackity says he’ll explain that in a bit

Quackity: “We can make L’manburg a main tourist area.”

- Foolish knows a few people might be against that. Anyone from L’manburg, maybe. Quackity reminds him he was in the cabinet, and proceeds to tell him the story of Wilbur:

---

When Quackity joined the server, L’manburg was the biggest nation. Quackity asked to join, and he was declined because he wasn’t British -- the one requirement. He didn’t like this, he felt left out, he wanted to be a part of something.The election rolled around, it was SWAG vs. POG.

(They walk over to the ruins of L’manburg)

Wilbur was going to run a “democratic” election with only one option available to vote for, which Quackity didn’t think was very democratic.

(Quackity gets interrupted by George calling him)

Each party had a Vice President. Foolish assumes that Wilbur’s was Tommy...and Quackity’s was George. Quackity points out King’s Court to Foolish in the sky, the place they had their debate. After their debate, Quackity and Wilbur had a talk, a conversation that stuck with him for a very long time.

Then it was Election Day. What happened was, each party had sponsors. Who endorsed Tommy and Wilbur?

Vikkstar.

Tommy accidentally posted the Vikkstar endorsement video in the Discord before deleting it seven seconds later, but that was still enough time for George to get the link and send it to Quackity, and Quackity needed the one person who could match that endorsement: KSI.

Unfortunately, KSI never replied, as it was quite last-minute. 

That’s when the turning point happened, and Quackity calls it the worst day of his life. George slept through the event. Quackity had no endorsements, no Vice President. The other party was going strong -- but they made a mistake. Their second endorsement was Schlatt. However, Schlatt arrived drunk, and instead of endorsing Wilbur and Tommy, he made his own party on the spot. SCHLATT2020. Not only this, but Niki and Fundy also made their own party too: COCONUT2020. 

The votes go out. POG2020 wins. But, Quackity had an idea, to pool votes with Schlatt. They ended up with 1% more votes than POG, and that’s how Quackity ended up as Vice President of the country. However, this was a big mistake. The policies Schlatt enacted were to exile Tommy and Wilbur, took down the walls, changed up things -- and to be fair, Quackity did join him on this. He was down with taking down the walls. Everything started going downhill. Schlatt would constantly undermine Quackity’s Vice Presidency, his policy ideas, and he did the worst thing to Quackity -- took down the White House that Quackity, Wilbur and Tommy built together. 

Schlatt didn’t care. He started teaming up with bad folks like Dream, other people, and the rest is history. Imagine everything that had to happen to lead to this...

(he gestures to L’manhole)

Foolish: “Do you regret it all?”

Quackity: “...No.”

Foolish: “So, you would’ve let it all go the exact same way, down to Wilbur blowing it all up?”

Quackity: “I wouldn’t have changed a damn thing, Foolish...And let me tell you why...All these mistakes, all these things, have made me the person I am now, Foolish. All these experiences, all these bad moments in my life, have made me the man I am today.”

“And you never...you never mess with history. Because everything happens for a reason, Foolish. Everything happens for a reason. You don’t ever pander with history, you don’t ever try to turn it around or change it, because the way things happen are the way things happen at the end of the day. And that’s how we build character. I wouldn’t have Las Nevadas if not for all these...for all these...mistakes, maybe.”

After that, something happened with Wilbur. Quackity didn’t know much about it, but he changed. He was so obsessed with his country that if he couldn’t have it, no one could. He blew up the entire thing, and in that process he ended up dying, and that’s when Ghostbur came to be.

So many more things happened (Foolish finds out that this crater isn’t just from Wilbur), but...it is what it is.

“And if you dwell in the past, you’ll live in suffering your entire life. So take it from me, Foolish. Take in all the experiences you’ve ever had, and apply them to something greater than what you used to be. Take one last gander at...the country that never was.”

---

- Quackity shows Foolish his old house under Karl’s. He’s not seen Karl in a while. He sees that it’s been blown up, and there’s an old message to him from Sam. He’s not sure what happened.

- Quackity shows Foolish the message. Just as he’d said, Sam had given him Netherite armor once. Sam has a good heart. It’s in the right place, he just needs some guidance.

- He leads Foolish down the Prime Path, showing him the other buildings. He takes Foolish over to the museum. 

- They look at the maps and discuss routes again. Foolish asks about a road to the prison, and Quackity says improving his “commutes” would be nice 

- Quackity is glad Foolish is taking the chance on Las Nevadas. Quackity has to leave to address some business, but he’ll get on to help Foolish build the roads later. 

- Foolish goes back to Las Nevadas, looking out over at Wilbur and Tommy’s headquarters.

Foolish: “It’s kinda been a while since I’ve really had enemies enemies...but I have the feeling that is gonna change soon enough...Maybe not even enemies, but certainly not friends. Kind of a shame, though, I’ve yet to really meet Wilbur...”

- He gets out his shulker box from an Ender Chest and looks inside. There is a stack of TNT.

“It’s been a while...”

- Niki is at the Arctic. Wilbur is back. She thought she got rid of him and doesn’t know why he’s back now, in the only place she feels safe

Niki: “Who are you going to manipulate next, huh? Because it’s not gonna be me this time! It’s not gonna be me this time.”

- Tommy? Tubbo? Jack? Jack wouldn’t fall for it. Niki is upset that Wilbur didn’t check up on her. Why would he change? He never changes or cares

- Why would Dream revive him? Dream was his enemy, but at the end he was pretty fond of him

- Niki heads back through the Nether to her secret city. Now the world revolves around Wilbur again

- She still hasn’t finished her city and hasn’t been able to sleep. She goes to a chest to find the diamonds Wilbur once gave her

- Niki saw the TNT when she broke the wall, but she didn’t tell anyone, covered it back up. But Wilbur still blew it up anyway

- Niki puts the diamonds in a chest buried deep in the wall and covers it back up

- She goes back to the main area, to L’manburg. When she was in Manberg, Wilbur promised that he would get her out of there, and she waited weeks. And then Wilbur wasn’t the same person anymore

- Niki thought maybe while Wilbur was still alive, he could still be rescued, could still be happy

Niki: “But you will never be happy, because all you want is what you can’t have. And when you have everything...what will you fight for?”

- Niki wants to see him, ask why he never came back to her. She walks back to the Nether portal and the stream ends

- Bad shows up to L’Sandburg and notices L’Llamaburg next door. He’s upset about the new castle and wonders why Foolish would allow this, as it violates the agreement

- He reads the purpose of L’Llamaburg and is enraged. There’s only one option, and that’s war. He sets fire to the walls of L’Llamaburg, builds an extension on top of his tower to make it taller than Puffy’s build, and builds a giant sign saying “LIAR” 

- After visiting the main area to get some resources, he meets Antfrost on the Prime Path, who has a new skin for pride month! 

- Bad goes to the Arctic to bake a cake for Technoblade’s birthday. After finishing it, he leaves a letter requesting Techno’s assistance:

---

Dear Technoblade,

Greetings on this fine evening. I hope this letter finds you well and I hope your polar bears are doing excellent. It is with my sincerest apoligies that I disturb your peace but I must inquire about possibly obtaining your services. 

Important matters aside I have built a delicious giant cake for you in honor of your birthday. I hope this cake finds you well and may you have many excellent birthdays to follow. If you would be interested in possibly destroying my enemies for me and salting the earth they call home so that they never find happiness again that would be most kind. If you would like to discuss this matter further you know where to find me.

Kindest Regards BBH

---

- Later, Captain Puffy hears of this brewing war and comes online. She confronts Bad about the missing tower from her castle. Bad insists it wasn’t him, it was Ponk

- Puffy reminds Bad of Puffy and Ponk’s conflict from a while ago in which they destroyed each others builds, and says it’s only fair that, if Ponk really did destroy the tower, then she should destroy Ponk’s fridge

- Bad tries to reason with Puffy to not retaliate, while Puffy thinks tearing down the fridge would be doing the place a favor

- Bad brings up the buffer zone violation and they start arguing with each other over Foolish’s land, the turtles, Puffy blames Bad for killing her son, one thing leads to another and soon enough Puffy tells Bad that his L’Sandburg llama citizens are all into BDSM

- They go to the turtle enclosure and see Ponk’s ransom note. Bad says Ponk has to die. Puffy points out they could start with the fridge, and Bad says they should take his other arm. Ponk stole Shelly, they have to kill him

- Puffy gets angry at Bad not wanting to take down the fridge and brings up the death of her son again, how she thought Bad was going to turn over a new leaf at the Banquet and then that leaf ended up covered in blood instead

Puffy: “I should have taken your goddamn arm, Bad!”

- After talking more, the two finally work together to take down the supreme fridge

- Once finished, the two write a return note to Ponk. Bad wants to discuss things with Ponk, and there’s a place in Las Nevadas that he thinks would be good to meet

The note reads:

---

Dear Ponk,

It has come to our attention that you’ve been responsible for some heinous crimes!

Not only did you completely demolish Puffy’s original mushroom house which she let slide. You now have destroyed a tower of her sand castle. BUT IT DOESN’T STOP THERE!

WHERE IS SHELLY PONK!? You’ve not only commited crimes against Puffy but Bad as well! You’ve kidnapped Bad & Sheldon’s dearest Shelly for ransom!

So me and Bad decided to return the favor and give you a taste of your own disgusting medicine!

YOU’RE FRIDGE NO LONGER SUPREME! YOU’VE MESSED WITH THE WRONG MUFFINS AND TAKEN OUR KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS TOO MANY TIMES!

We all need to talk immediately before this escalates more then it already has.

Leave a book back giving us a time and a place and we will try to attend.

You’ve been warned!

With love, BBH & PuffDaddy

---

- Bad still wants Puffy to move L’Llamaburg, but Puffy wants to stay and protect her son. Bad suggests an alliance: what if L’Sandburg and L’Llamaburg simply combine their territories? It would be beneficial for both nations

- Puffy is skeptical about Bad’s idea and decides that relocating is probably the smartest idea, as Ponk will probably retaliate against her

---

Upcoming Events:

- The final Egg lore stream

- Technoblade’s visit (this weekend)

- Puffy’s lore

- Tales From the SMP: “Space Race”

- Ponk’s lore stream

- Dream’s lore video

- Sapnap’s possible lore stream

- Awesamdude lore stream

[violettelueur]

— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE TWENTY ONE (PART TWO) || JAMAIS VU

↳ featuring : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + kugisaki nobara + gojo satoru from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 27 april

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 2.8k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : jujutsu koshien

↳ next episode : the origin of blind obedience 

↳ barista’s notes : lets play a little game...find the genshin reference ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5. for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique : hopefully this video is slightly better...

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

“May I ask why you are following me right now?”

At this moment in time, you were seated within a train in the Tokyo Underground Metro travelling to your planned destination wearing a white button-up shirt with the first two buttons loose since it was quite oversized that was tucked into a pair of wide-legged trousers since you didn’t want it to show at the bottom of your large oversized grey v-necked sweater with the final touch of a pair of Stan Smiths that Gojo had gifted you the second you entered the Gojo’s estate after packing the last of your things back at the Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College - ‘think of it as a housewarming gift’ you remember him saying.

Speaking of Gojo…

“Why not~ It’s mine and your’s off-day, so let’s have a father-daughter day out together!” Gojo exclaimed in an excited tone, as he tilted his glasses down to look slightly down at you, showcasing his sparkling blue eyes with a cheeky smile planted on his face.

Turning your head to the side to look at him, you couldn’t help but want to snatch his glasses off and throw them across the other side of the train carriage since you have informed him all the time that you wanted to go on this outing of yours alone due to the fact that you wanted to clear your head about everything that has happened within the past week.

“Also, why the hell are those three following me?” you questioned in an annoyed whispered tone as you turned your head back to face forward before crossing your leg over your other one as you could sense the lingering but obvious trail of cursed energy from the other side of the carriage. However, you didn’t want to make it crystal clear that you knew Itadori, Fushiguro and Kugisaki were sitting on the other end looking at you while trying to not be or look suspicious.

“Well, let’s just say they are worried about you~” Gojo answered before placing one of his hands on the top of your head before beginning to gently ruffle your hair causing you to relax from your tense posture since it left a somewhat warm feeling in your heart - you also have gotten used to this little action of his since he would do the same thing when you were walking around the estate.

“So where are you planning to go? I did jump on this train because you were going in it,” Gojo asked, as he fixed his glasses leading you to look up to find that the next stop was the stop you were looking for, causing you to stand up and walk towards the exit leading Gojo to follow since he was just going by your lead at this moment in time.

“Kiyose Station?” Gojo said in a curious tone, only for you to step out of the train the second the doors opened leading Gojo to follow you as well as the three first-years that were trailing you from behind, just a few feet away to not get caught by you - even though, you already knew that they were stalking you from behind.

‘Really...did these guys forget I can sense their cursed energy?’

“Yeah, I guess I never really told you that I come here every year…’ you quietly confessed, causing Gojo to look at you with a confused expression before wondering why you were willing to take an hour-long journey for something to come to every year on the same day.

“Is that so?” Gojo questioned before looking up to the sky as he took in a deep breath of the fresh air that he was able to obtain after a long journey in the underground train station.

From his view, the sky was quite clear making it known to him that you probably had checked the weather beforehand when you were planning to go wherever he was following you to, you were always the type to be somewhat prepared for the day from what he could remember from past outings. For example, when you and him came out of a cafe to find that it was raining, you immediately took out an umbrella and held it above you and him even when you knew he could use his infinity to protect himself from the wet droplets.

“Don’t use your technique too much, just use an umbrella, you drag,” he recalled you saying and to be honest, he was somewhat gleeful at the fact you treated him the way you did. It was like you cared for him but didn’t want to explicitly admit it or make it too obvious, he felt like you were treating him like he wasn’t above you in the jujutsu world, you were basically the reason why he could relax and get away from the gripping pressure of being ‘the strongest’ - instead, you gave him the role of a father figure that he wasn’t an ideal person for, but you could tell he was trying.

“You know we are here right, you’re too much in a daydream right now,” you announced causing Gojo to snap his head back down to see a simple fence gate in front of a massive and bright field of sunflowers looking at his way like they were greeting him with their yellow happy petals.

“A sunflower field?” Gojo asked in a confused tone causing you to give a somewhat deadpan expression before turning back around to open the gate before entering the large field with other guests already hiding within the mass of tall flowers as you could sense your triplet classmates coming closer.

“You know, I knew I had weird classmates, but I didn’t know how weird…” you mentioned, causing your adoptive father to start laughing before wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you both began to walk around to view the tall flowers that had been planted and grown for the season causing Gojo to somewhat come to the realisation that you had some fascination with flowers ever since he had come to meet you - except for your weird addiction to orange juice that he learned first.

“Wah~ the sunflowers are in full bloom~” Gojo excitedly beamed out, causing some visitors to look at the tall man with a surprised expression to then quickly turn into admiration when they realise how handsome the man looked causing you to cringe since this is what you wanted to avoid coming here.

“So why do you like flowers Y/N?” Gojo suddenly queried you causing you to turn your head up to look at him while continuing to stroll down the path you both were going at, leading you to begin questioning how your fascination with flowers came about and to be honest….

“I don’t know,” you answered in a low tone before turning back to view the beautiful display that was surrounding you with the warmth you needed right now. “I guess...it’s like a remedy...one that I need,” you further explained causing Gojo to look down at you with a small smile before turning his head back slightly over his shoulder to notice his over students a few feet back arguing about whatever they were talking about while trying to keep up with the both of you - it seemed like his unnecessary tall height somewhat helped them to scout both you and him.

“Also, the estate is so dull, you need some sort of colour, so I might as well buy some sunflowers here,” you quickly added, causing the strongest sorcerer to quickly snap his head back to look at you before childishly complaining how the estate looked fine and there was no need to judge the decor of the clan house you were living in at his current moment, only for you to counter his argument with how paintings weren’t helping and the empty antique vases were not going to fill themselves up magically.

“The servants can find flowers, you don’t need to do this yourself,” Gojo mentioned causing you to give him a side look before saying that you wanted to do this, leading Gojo to close his mouth quickly as he suddenly remembered how you would always help out even when they would try to push you away since they were worried about you over-working when you were emotionally recovering this week. He also recollected how you would just admit that you were used to doing chores yourself since you had lived alone for six years before he took you in.

Unexpectantly, you turned somewhere to the right causing Gojo to be somewhat surprised since he didn’t expect you to take a sudden different route, only for his eyes to come into the sudden appearance of a little market place where some people (especially some elders) selling vegetables, small accessories, flowers and what seemed to be some charms.

However, it seemed like you weren’t telling him where you were planning to start since you were now basically just guiding him to wherever you wanted to go - after all, it was his first time here and probably needed some guidance from you.

From behind, Itadori and Kugisaki were chatting about how they were going to stay hidden away from you, while Fushiguro looked exhausted with both of them by his side and somewhat knew that you knew they were following you since he remembered that you were able to sense people’s cursed energy like a tracking system - he even reminded both his classmates about this technique of yours and they flat out ignored it, not recalling his first lesson when him and Itadori were forced into a maid cafe while tailing their teacher.

“Gojo knows a lot of places, doesn’t she?” Kugisaki muttered in amazement as she spun around to obtain a 360-degree view of the sunflower scenery that they were at right now, leading Itadori to agree with her as he smiled happily at the bright-like atmosphere that was surrounding them right now.

“Fushiguro, look! There are so many!” Itadori beamed, leading Kugisaki smacking him on the head before informing him that he was being too loud and they were about to get caught causing Fushiguro to let out a sigh in slight annoyance.

‘I can tell she’s laughing at us, right now’ Fushiguro thought as he could see your shoulders going up and down like how they would when you would giggle.

As time went on, the trio kept tabs on you as you went from market stall to market stall to view those items that the sellers had for sale leading them to wonder what you were looking for since you never really took the time to bring out your wallet and pay for whatever the seller would pitch you.

“These are so cute, why didn’t she buy them?” Kugisaki questioned as she lifted up a pair of sunflower earrings that you had previously viewed causing the seller to start telling her how they made it and how beautiful they would look on her, while Fushiguro looked to the side peering at you and Gojo only to discover you at this one stall where the seasoned sunflowers were being sold.

However, before you could even ask the seller for a bouquet, a little girl sudden ran up to the stall asking their mother if they could get a sunflower, only for the worried woman to inform their child that they weren’t about to afford it due to them using the last of their money to pay for the food that they ate causing the little girl to quickly become quiet before turning back around to view the bright flowers that she wasn’t able to get with tears pending in her eyes.

“Excuse me madam, how much for two flowers?” you asked gently, causing the old woman being the stall to turn her head to look at you before answering your question with a price leading you to place a purchase while adding your bouquet to the order, causing the little girl standing beside you to look at you with a confused expression since she didn’t understand why you were buying a whole bouquet of her favourite flowers with two single ones alone.

While the woman was wrapping the last of the single sunflower she was preparing for you in the classic brown paper, you gently took the one she had finished before handing it to the small child that was by your side, causing her to look at the flower in complete awe before looking up at you, only to see a small but gently smile painted on your face.

“It’s for you,” you informed her in a light and soft tone, leading the girl to slowly take the bouquet away from your grasp before noticing how you were going to pay extra for the black ribbon tied around the flower as well as the white baby breaths that surrounded the single flower before giving the other single flower to them mother that was behind the child, causing the woman to look at you in shock before thanking you for the gift as she didn’t expect you to buy something for her as well after you gifted her daughter with what she wanted.

“What do you say to the nice lady, dear?” the mom questioned her daughter causing the little girl to look confused before realising what she meant as she jumped in excitement.

“Thank you so much, miss!” the girl cheered, causing you to smile at her before excitingly showing the mother the flower you had gifted her as you then turned back around to collect the bouquet that you had brought for yourself as you processed to give her the amount of money needed for the large purchase.

“Shame...and I thought you were giving one each to me and you…” Gojo muttered with a pout, causing you to give him a weirded-out side glance before scoffing in amusement.

“Never in a million years dad,” you answered in a teasing manner before making your way towards the trio that was at the stall behind you, leaving the strongest sorcerer shocked at what you had just said to him, as the duo of Itadori Yuji and Kugisaki Nobara screamed at your sudden appearance since they would they were in the clear, while Fushiguro was looking at you with a gentle but his usually stoic face as he somewhat found out about your side of kindness you had for other people.

“Gojo!” Itadori screamed, causing you to give them a small smile.

“So...care to explain why you have been following me since I left the estate? Why is it once you finally get a break from being a sorcerer, rather than taking a rest, you instead come to me?” you questioned in a sinister tone, causing all three of your classmates to shiver at the dark aura that was emitting itself from your body right now.

However, before they were even able to answer in their frightened state, Gojo suddenly launched himself at you from behind with tears in his eyes causing you to yell at him for his childish behaviour, only for him to wrap his arms around your shoulders before rocking you from side to side in pure happiness.

“You called me ‘dad’, come on, say it again! One more time!” Gojo requested in pure glee as tears of happiness streamed down his face with a silly smile, leading the trio behind you to look at the sorcerer with pure horror as you informed him that he was already asking you for too much as once was enough causing Gojo to complain in a childish voice again that ‘it wasn’t too much’ and that you have to say it again, almost causing you to smack the bouquet across his face.

“Let me go!” you yelled out, as you tried to pry Gojo’s arms that were around your shoulder while trying not to crease the flowers that you have just bought only for your adoptive father to cling onto you tighter to which caused your body to give up and you stood there with a disheartened expression on your face, completely forgetting that Itadori, Fushiguro and Kugisaki had followed you here as you had another issue to deal with.

While this was going on, Fushiguro couldn’t help but continue to recall the situation that had happened earlier between you and the little family, especially the small action of your hand going down to pass the flower to the little girl...as if a hand has reached down to him before leading little images of a hand passing him a bandage came into view, yet he didn’t seem to have any recollection of it...like a memory, he technically didn’t remember.

“Gojo?” Fushiguro called you out, causing you to turn to him while grasping on the bright sunflowers that were facing his way as if to give him encouragement to say what he was planning on asking you.

“What’s the opposite of Deja vu?”

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[alovelyburn]

Rambles about the Golden Age Arc Part 15

Leeeets see how far this can go. I think at most we’ll end up with 17 - this one, the eclipse and the eclipse aftermath. But I’m hoping and dreaming that I can pull of 16. And I’m not changing this regardless of what happens, let it stand as a testament to the giddy heights to which I aspired, whether or not I fall short.

(I fell short!)

Rambles about the Golden Age Arc Part 15

1. I have a lot of really complicated feelings about this whole section of the series. I think it’s fantastic, beautifully written, deeply heartbreaking and kind of disturbing? I mean I talked about this a bit last time - the dehumanized way the Hawks in general regarded Griffith, the way they saw him as a ticket to better things and the way they treated him like a doll when he couldn’t help them anymore.

The thing is, I don’t really mean to make it sound like they were disgusting moochers who didn’t care about him or anything. I think they... looked up to him in a way that bordered on religious and like any group of such people, they saw him as the thing that made their life meaningful and brought them comfort and possibilities. And @zombiesgohome, which is a much nicer person than me, also pointed out that its especially difficult for them to let go of the dream of climbing back to the top... because they were THERE. Griffith took them on and turned them into the strongest army in Midland. This group of mostly commoners and the occasional noble-too-far-down-the-line-to-inherit suddenly found themselves knighted, on the verge of peerage. They were war heroes. And then suddenly it all ended and... because they thought of Griffith as untouchable and miraculous and retained that faith in him that they build (with his help) over years, they never doubted for a moment that if they could get him back, they could just do it all over again.

And they’re  so young, right, like even Corkus was only in his early 20s. It would be devastating to feel like all your hopes are over when you’ve just started living. 

So, you know, I get it. But that said.... it’s still very uncomfortable, and i do kind of think it’s intended to be.

It’s telling that as soon as it becomes clear that Griffith can’t help them they try to attach themselves to Casca instead. There’s no... ability to make their own path or forge their own future, they’re always looking to someone greater than them to provide it, and that’s why Griffith never... saw them as friends. Because they had sort of a mutually beneficial parasitic relationship with him really - much moreso than just a normal commander and army.

Also Judeaus line on the first page above is changed in the deluxe edition - it now says��“Without Griffith, there is no Band of the Hawk.” Which I think is... much more pointed than just saying he’s the founder. I mean, the group’s name just means “Griffith’s band,” doesn’t it?”

But okay there’s a lot going on here lemme see how I can break down my personal perspective on it...

2. When I’m writing these things sometimes I flash back to some weird shit I saw people say about the series at some point. I mean, it’s definitely obvious when that happens because I start arguing against things no one said to me, but anyway right now the thing in question is the belief that Guts and Casca were still intending to take off, and Guts said he’d stay entirely because Casca said she would (presumably so he could be with her). 

Okay, no. First of all, when it becomes clear that Griffith can’t be their war leader anymore and the Hawks ask Casca to remain as commander, Guts is just about to tell them yeah let’s do it? He has at this point already begun changing his mind, he just hasn’t articulated it yet, and that’s extremely obvious in the scenes to come. What’s more, Casca herself is already wavering, saying she has to think about it. I’m sure some of that is an attempt to stall because I really don’t think she wants to keep leading them - she barely wanted to do it to begin with.. But it’s clear that she also feels an obligation to them as well as to Griffith. 

But really let’s look at Guts. She knows he was about to tell them to keep going. And he is already like, wtf Casca don’t tell me you were thinking about quitting? He has obviously, at this point - and perhaps without even fully registering that he’s done it - begun to give up on leaving and not because he feels obligated the way Casca does but because not giving up is who he is.

Also Deluxe edition - that last panel is “There are some battles a person can’t give up on because they started them.” Which just has a completely different implication - she’s not saying yeah since you started doing this i guess you have to keep going. Rather she’s drawing a line between the battles started by people like Guts and Griffith, who chose a direction and headed in that direction and who cant change courses because it’s their fight that means everything to them... and the battles someone like the Hawks or Casca herself were part of  for someone else’s vision. Because without Griffith that vision is gone, isn’t it? If they keep going what are they even aiming for?

Because Guts is a Big Epic, though, he doesn’t have the same reaction to that loss as everyone else, you know? Because the thing is, even when he was originally part of the Hawks, Guts didn’t actually hang from Griffith’s dream. He did what he wanted. He made his own choices even if it meant disobeying Griffith’s orders. That’s a lot of why Griffith loves him. In the wake of losing Griffith’s guidance he may waver but he still stands up, he still finds a direction of his own. Casca understands the despair that falls on the Hawks without Griffith much better than Guts can not because Guts doesn’t care about Griffith (...obviously. Griffith’s his most important person and anyone who thinks otherwise should read it again) it’s because he is “Just like Griffith.” They’re made of the same stuff. They’re people that get clung to, rather than people who cling.

Except to each other.

Anyway, that becomes really evident with the Raiders in a minute or two.

Deluxe says: I wanted someone to be by my side.

Not a huge difference really, but. Anyway one of the things about Guts and Casca’s romance is that so much of it is, as they both said, licking each other’s wounds. I don’t think that’s meant to discount or undermine their connection, it’s just interesting because the connection grows in their mutual sadness. For a long time I wanted there to be some deep meaning behind her saying that at this moment, but ultimately, now that I’ve taken a step back, I think she’s just explaining why she comes over and leans on Guts. She was just looking for a moment of comfort. 

And Griffith hears it, which is relevant my God, I wish people could read.

Anyway!

And there’s Guts turning the wheels in his head.

3. Anyway back to the scene that some people think is a sexual assault for some godforsaken reason. Look. Not that anyone’s going to listen to me but fuck’s sake. Okay.

Let’s recount Griffith and Casca’s relationship briefly. 

She’s in love with him, but more than that she’s always felt that he gave her strength through being near her and touching her. Whenever she felt anxious he would place a hand on her shoulder and she would feel strong again. He just heard her express her fears and say she wants someone near her. Now she comes into the wagon and she’s bandaging him up. So like ok.

When she first starts, hes just watching her with this soft expression. At this point she’s still calm and composed on the outside. 

But as she continues to think about him and their history, she starts visibly shaking and becoming increasingly upset.

And he’s ... watching her face? Like he can tell she’s getting worked up.

Many people take that look he gets as evidence of his evol or whatever, but he gets it when Guts is endangered and he tries to help him. He gets it when he catches people trying to poison him. He gets it when Charlotte says she missed him. Guts gets it too - ALL THE TIME, when he’s focusing or intent. It’s literally just Miura’s way of visually depicting that kind of mindset, and of course then she knocks over the water in her anxiety which then leads to what people think is some kind of rape attempt.

But like, that obviously makes no sense, right? Because even aside from the non-sequitur that would be, how’s he going to assault her when they’re both fully dressed? How can you call it a rape attempt when she says no and he just kind of hugs her?

Look. I don’t know whether Miura was trying to imply that he was making a sexual move on her - it’s wholly possible, i mean he does focus on their crotch overlap. Or maybe that was meant to show what Casca perceived him to be doing. 

Because this moment does look to me like a moment when her perception of what he’s doing changes. So I don’t know. Maybe he was just trying to hold her like she said she wanted someone to. I don’t know. But calling it a sexual assault is bugfuck and I think people need to pull their twisty glasses off their eyes and stop guzzling the haterade. Confirmation bias is a bitch.

Also, the placement of the scene is kind of obviously meant to call back to all the times she had anxiety and he comforted her, because it’s literally right after she thinks about his tendency to comfort her when she was anxious, followed by her becoming visibly anxious. So like, clearly he’s trying to comfort her? You could say he’s doing it sexually or with poorly coordinated hugs, either really works given his personality, but it’s really not an attempt to assault her. It’s like the Charlotte thing - if you’re reading it that way, it’s because you want to. Full stop.

The other and honestly kind of dickish but still wholly accurate reason this makes no sense as a sexual assault is, even if you perceive Griffith (as opposed to Femto) as someone who would rape a person, the only reason Femto did it was to taunt Guts, and Guts isn’t there so what would the motivation even be?

Moving on!

4. Back to Guts and how he very obviously had no intention of leaving before Casca even opened her mouth about staying. Literally Judeau is like gonna go back to training? and Guts is like “............................................” Like, come on he’s already wavering. But more than that:

He does want to stay for Griffith. Because the second Judeau mentions that he intends to look after him, Guts goes from “.......” to “oh, yeah ok me too.” 

The thing is though, even though I do think in this moment (and since getting back from the rescue), Guts has been wavering because he,... loves Griffith and doesn’t want to leave him in this state any more than Casca does, for example...  his want to stay as a generality isn’t solely about Griffith just like it isn’t solely about Casca - 

It is, in a larger sense, about his growing realization that all the times he wondered where he belonged, he was already in that place and didn’t realize it until it was too late. Because as Gaston says, they’re his family... so how can he leave them now?

But going back to the Judeau scene, the difference between Guts and Judeau in this is really obvious. Because Guts isn’t trying to stay from obligation, he’s trying to stay because he loves Griffith and he loves the Hawks and he doesn’t want to leave them anymore especially with Griffith as he is. For Judeau it’s duty, but for Guts it’s personal. This comes  up again in... Volume 18 I think it is, when he thinks about how how technically he doesn't have the duty or obligation to avenge the Hawks since he wasn’t even a Hawk anymore - he chose to do it because of his own pain, and because he still loves them, and can’t forget them.

Judeau is looking to take care of Griffith because of a sense of loyalty and obligation - like Gambino’s mercenary band taking care of him in his fallen state. 

But Guts just... wants to take care of his friend.

Guts’ face here is pretty funny to me because it is not the face of someone who is enthusiastic about taking off with his girlfriend, it’s like he’d like Judeau to stop meddling in his shit or something. But really Judeau’s main allegiance has been to Casca since way back when - what he really cares about is making sure she doesnt get sucked into Griffith’s orbit again.

Ultimately I do think if the Eclipse hadn’t been triggered Guts would have ended up staying around. I don’t know whether he would have headed off with the Raiders or stuck around with the larger group... and I don’t know whether he or Casca would have ended up leading.  ...well if I’m honest I suspect it would have been Guts because Casca didn’t even want the job and everyone knew, even going back to just after the timeskip, that Guts is the only one who can stand in Griffith’s place without drowning in his shadow. But either way, I don’t think he had any interest in leaving again.

I guess you would have ended up with a situation similar to the merc group he grew up with - formed by Gambino who, post-injury, ended up being taken care of by the group while it operated under a new leader.

It’s a little fitting really, a lot of Guts’ life goes in cycles - eg the way Casca becomes an echo of Cis after the eclipse. Cis who, notably, went mad after a miscarriage.

I mean if nothing else Judeau does know how Casca is. 

Anyway, the thing is, their individual battles with themselves over whether to go or stay, their individual decisions to stay (even if Judeau kinda half-pushed Guts out the door), those are things that don’t really have much to do with each other, right? Yes they are trying to be together, but when it comes down to it they both make a decision about what to do based on what Griffith needs... because in the end they both always focused on him over themselves or each other. I feel like trying to turn that into a non-thing is kind of missing the weight and tragedy of the story because part of the reason Griffith’s actions are so devastating to Guts (and Casca presumably once she actually remembers them) is that they were inflicted by someone that they were willing to kill and die for. Someone they never would have willingly abandoned - even someone they chose over one another. If you see it like Griffith wasn’t that big a deal to them, then the Eclipse actually loses some of its bite to me. 

And it is based on Griffith. Casca is explicitly deciding to choose Griffith because he needs her, but Guts already decided to stay when Judeau said he would take care of Griffith even without knowing what Casca would choose to do, you know? 

This scene really reminds me of Griffith asking Guts if he’s a horrible person and Guts telling him not to worry about it. Because in both cases, Casca-and-Guts are trying to be supportive of this person they love. But much like Guts didn’t fully understand what Griffith was trying to ask him, Casca doesn’t fully understand Guts’ reasoning. Because they’ve been spinning their wheels independently, they haven’t been touching base, she has no idea he already realized that these people are the home he was looking for. She’s trying to support what she thinks he wants.

But... 

In reality, he just regrets leaving to begin with. He wants to stay.

I really want to keep blabbing but I feel like all the Griffith psychology stuff from the hallucination of himself at his prime through the sacrifice needs to be in one post so I guess I’ll lay off for the moment. Also I need to bring tissues to talk about that. 

Besides this one is short in chapters but long in blah blah, so, NEXT TIME.... The Mind of the Hawk! My very favorite topic. Except maybe the Mind of the Dog.

[starseed-twenty]

🌌Saturn in the Houses✨

Brief summary

Saturn is a planet, a generational planet, that rules structure, discipline, necessary limitations, responsibilities, lessons and karma. Some may describe it as malefic because of the rather 'negative' energy it gives off. Personally, I've grown to seen it as benefic because of the 'end-results' it aims to provide. Sure, it doesn't start off by being good to you and giving things to you nice and easy (like Jupiter does), however - it doesn't just give things bad and gloomy either. For one, it is trying to give you great lessons with the house it is in (by helping you to basically learn the right way and gain experience in the house) for you. And for two, while Jupiter gives an abundance, Saturn gives some restriction - helping you to be able to handle what goes on in the house its in. Because, as we know it, too much of a good thing can be bad. For example, Jupiter in 6th may mean a person finds it nice and easy to maintain work, planning, a schedule, time-management and maintaining a good body. Sweet, right? Well... this person can actually also overwork themselves sometimes, and be a little bit obsessed with their body too, and become critical of others because of their (the people's) work & planning, since they (the person) know how to maintains theirs. So... 😬 Jupiter isn't completely a good planet, and Saturn isn't completely a bad planet either. In a lowkey way, they're Yin & Yang. There's a bit of good in Saturn, in the same way there's a bit of bad in Jupiter too. Now... On to individual houses.

- This can also apply to transits -

🌌 1st House :

You may experience issues with the way you see yourself, your life and perhaps the way people perceive you. You feel like they have constantly either made fun of you or said inappropriate, harsh things, or they see you in a way you don't see yourself. Or even other times, you feel like you've done or said the wrong things, or live life in a bad way because it's not the 'normal' way people live, leading you to become critical with yourself. So you may be fighting some battles internally at times. On the other hand... The good news is that this does not last forever. As much as you feel like it does. Because as you grow, somehow you find yourself becoming more confident, more happier and feeling not the need to prove yourself to anyone and anything anymore. So, with time, Saturn teaches you how to be good to yourself and do good for yourself.

🌌 2nd House : 

You may experience a lot of financial issues (money, savings, material gain/possessions and assets), as well as issues of self-worth, values and resources. These could be in the form of you struggling to have a proper income or money seeming to be a scarce resource for you. You may also even find it hard to save or invest at first. For example, you try to save or invest, but the money has to go somewhere else or it turned out to be a scam. Additionally, you struggle internally as well. Your sense of self-worth or self-esteem fluctuates quite often, but most of the time it's lower than normal and this is because Saturn makes it hard to see/have value in not only capital gains, but yourself too. The lesson for you in this life is to learn how to comprehend value in tangible things as well as your self-worth the right way so as you do not take these for granted. So, the good news is that as time goes, you will be able to accumulate (a huge chunk 😉 of) these gains, and appreciate yourself more than you ever have.

🌌 3rd House : 

You may experience issues with communication and learning, or speaking and being listened to, or with technology/media. This means it can sometimes be a struggle for you to communicate efficiently/assertively at times, or there can be tension when you voice out your opinion. You may also struggle with having a bad rep when it comes to the media and technological things. People may come at you negatively a lot or they just do not understand you at times and think you're rather odd. Saturn in this house tries teach you to appreciate the art of proper communication and being educated (even though it can be through difficulty). So additionally, you can struggle with learning too, whether it's education (school) or work/training. It takes a long minute for you to get it. But the good news... you eventually do. And when you do it's close to perfect. Also, with time, people really understand your ways of communication and perhaps even love it.

🌌 4th House : 

You may experience issues with foundations (starting up anything), family, home/internal environment and ancestral roots. For example, you just happen to keep struggling when it comes to starting up your own little business or form of income (a blog, YT channel, mini job, etc.) and so there's always a delay or it doesn't turn out the way you thought it would. You may also have problems with your family or home environment more often than normal, something that they do that upsets or has upset you or something you do that upsets them and so it raises conflict between you quite often. But, the good news.... eventually, the issues will die down with effective communication and healing, and the bond will become even closer. Or, that foundation for that business/income will eventually be properly set up and exceed your expectations.

🌌 5th House : 

You may experience issues when it comes to your peers/friends or the people you vibe with (short-term dating), creative endeavours, children or maintaining hobbies. One or more of these is not something you find easy to connect with. For example, the people you get to know or start to vibe with may eventually start acting weird or the connection between you guys doesn't end up the way you thought it would. Additionally, your friends or peers are people who may not understand you at times... so getting along with people at first can be hard. As well as some creative endeavours, such as finding it within you to do artsy stuff or going bold with themes, colours, words, etc. The good news though... is that as time goes, you surpass the need to understand why this is and be hurt by it, but simply love your inner-self more, until  good people, friends and lovers start gravitating towards you. You also start to connect with your creative side, hobbies, and children more.

🌌 6th House : 

You may experience issues with time management and planning. You find yourself either being too early or too late for something, for example; an appointment, an event, or a project due. This (issue with time management) may also manifest into you struggling with completing tasks a lot of the time. But this may be more when you’re just growing up rather than when you’re older and have established the ability to take control of your time and complete tasks. You may also experience issues with your diet or body's health, so you may be someone who either eats too much or doesn't eat enough, or having some kind of body condition. But the good news... the problems do eventually fade away. You will find yourself loving your body and being content with your state. Plus, you eventually perfect the skill of  planning and time-management (with much discipline unfortunately).

🌌 7th House : 

You may experience issues with people around you, or partnerships you're involved in. For example, people seemingly going behind your back or treating you weird even though don't really do bad to them. People just suddenly find a way to be weird and take your kindness for an advantage, which then makes you have rocky relationships with them. As well as with relationships or partnerships, you can sort of struggle with the people you're in these with. They may hurt you or do something shady and you don't even understand why. But, on a brighter side... you do eventually find the right people and right someone who will do very good by you and it will end there. You'll never be hurt again. They will give the perfect love, respect and kindness you deserve. But only after you've learnt the lesson of not trusting too easy.

🌌 8th House : 

You may experience issues with either death, sex/sexuality, changes or transformations, or debt. Or maybe even all. This house is a rather sad one to have Saturn in unfortunately, because a lot of people I know who have this particular placement may feel or see life in a gloomy state, but they do try their best to have hope it gets better. But overall, the issues they encounter may feel like burdens a lot of the time. Such as, for example, their sexuality. They may be surrounded  by homophobic people, whereas their sexuality is one they are still trying to define properly because they can be stuck in being open about who they really are. Or, another example: people who have debt almost all their lives - or just something to owe (money, a job/task, an asset, etc.) because of the continuous struggles they go through. Good news though... is that this all ends eventually. They do find ways or fall on to paths that make it easier for them to live comfortably and not stress too much anymore. And when they do, they become way more optimistic about life.

🌌 9th House : 

You may experience issues with higher learning/knowledge, travelling or long journeys, foreign lands, or law & religion. This may be in ways where you don't connect with other, different cultures, religious endeavours or laws easily. You may have your own interpretations or understandings and they perhaps don't agree with these. Also, travelling far or going to 'exotic'/foreign places does become weird for you, or you don't get to do it as much as you've wanted to. And (this one may be random), you could experience issues with getting taught or finding the right teachers. You're keen on learning, but getting the right understandings doesn't happen the way you thought it would. However, in due time, you do become set on getting the right knowledge and perfect understanding on things (including cultures, religions, laws, etc.) and find yourself in tune with long journeys and exotic places.

🌌 10th House : 

You may experience issues with your public image/status, career, how you work, what we are working/have worked towards and long-term goals. So, you see how the 4th house (opposite house) is about foundations, developments, and the home environment... The 10th house is more or less the opposite of that; the external/public environment and successes through developments & foundations. Having Saturn in this house can then mean you struggle seeing your successes and end-results of your foundations come to life the way you want to (at first), as well as your public image or reputation/status can fluctuate or you (or other people) tend to see it in a bad light. This is not the case for long though. As time goes, your 'tarnished' reputation starts to heal and people then see and admire your work and success. Greatly so, that you become almost iconic. You also eventually fall in love with your image too.

🌌 11th House : 

You may experience issues with the community or large masses, organizations, social groups, social media/technology, global connections and perhaps even successes in your hopes & dreams. So for quite a while, people as a collective may be quite disconnected with you and either radiate negative energy towards you or no energy at all, to which you don't understand because you don't really do anything too wrong and would like positivity. This can also be a time, if it's a transit, that a good reputation is something you have to work hard towards because people have seen you the wrong way for some or other reason.  At the same time, it can be a tad bit difficult for you shine through social settings, social groups, social media and technology the way you want to. Your hopes and wishes can be dimmed, though you keep attempting to let them shine. At the end of it though (as Saturn eventually provides structure), you start to align with these social endeavours, and your hopes & wishes do start to radiate greatly to the point of you looking pretty lucky.

🌌 12th House : 

You may experience issues with connections to the subconscious, spiritual gifts/dreams, fears, healing, confinement, as well as perhaps abandonment/imprisonment/isolation issues. Saturn in the 12th house usually breeds people who are pretty shy, isolated or have a bit of trust issues. They can also be people who grow up heavily be in tune with routines or organized things, structure and wanting to have (or focused on) clear understandings of things. If you have Saturn in this house, it can become really hard for you to understand the concept of hidden things, karma, intuition-based ideologies at first (though you do constantly try and makes sense of these). You can also be suffering from a bit of closure/healing, but it's also something you don't know how to make sense of. So you may be hurting a lot inside, but will try to avoid it or make it seem as though it's not deep. But what Saturn does at the end of it all is allow you to see light in healing, connecting with higher entities and spiritual guides and gaining closure for your mental and emotional health. So you suddenly find it easy to tap in to the subconscious and become almost a master at understanding spiritual endeavours.

Side-note : The weird thing (and perhaps even sad thing) I've noticed about Saturn though, is that it possesses some sort of energy that doesn't allow you to give up on the issues it provides. So, while you may feel like you struggle with these issues... you can't give in to not caring about them or brushing them under the carpet. They appear within a minute and you're lowkey addicted to trying to fix these issues. For example, a person with a Saturn in 12th house : They probably struggle with dreams, understanding things beyond reality, spirituality, healing and all things subconscious. However, they simply find themselves always wondering about this whole 'spirituality' thing and trying their best to understand it. So while they may avoid it because of the huge struggle that comes with it, they revert back to trying to dream a bit more, heal, be in touch with spirituality, etc. Until eventually, they get it so right that they're lowkey experts.

💖💖💖

[gangrenados]

Yandere Jason Todd

I have to say that these are a bunch of multiples ideas, so it might a little bit dispersed.

Warning: murder, kidnapping, manipulation

I don't condone any of this behavior, we all know this is a really shitty thing to do.

Matthew Daddario as Jason fancast cuz I like it!!

▪Let's start with something simple: Jason is a very possessive and over protective yandere who doesn't fear to kill whoever dares to put themselves between him and you, especially if they're rivals.

▪There's a big difference when it comes to how he'll be with you depending on what state of his life he's in.

•Fresh of out of the Pit Jason will obsess over you for the sole reason that he wants to posses something in order to feel like he has gained some control over his life.

° Jason doesn't love you, you're just an object that he use to feel in control so he will manhandle you and break you as he pleases.

°It's hard for him to realize that what he's doing is wrong and by the time he finally accepts it, you'll probably be death or in a terrible mind state.

°Jason will have succeed in breaking you and he will punish himself about it.

•Arkham Knight Jason see you as a something that he needs to possess in order to feel human and loved again. He almost worships you as a higher being.

°Jason will hold on you in dear life, hoping that your company will make him feel better.

° Jason is more mindful over your needs and what you might feel about him and being held hostage, those thoughts makes him deeply insecure and sick to his stomach. However, Jason can't bring himself to let you go, he needs you.

°He wouldn't hurt you on purpose, but rather will choose to threaten you with breaking all your bones or killing those you love.

°This applies when he's jealous. Jason will pin you up against wall and point a gun at you as he cries and screams why was the cause for you to betray him.

°You always knew Jason was by far more strong than you but having him towering over you in the middle of a breakdown as he waves around a loaded gun is making you panic.

°Jason wouldn't kill you, but he know where to shoot without killing. You're gonna suffer with him if you don't start to give him answers.

°This version of Jason is mentally and emotionally unstable, he's more likely to breakdown and cause chaos since he can't fully control what he's feeling or how to process it.

°Jason might worship you and treat you as if you were made of glass, but he might kill you in one of his anger rampages.

• Red Hood Jason in the other hand is in a better mental place so it's less likely that he'll hurt you out of an emotional decontrol.

° Also there's the fact that, as that his Arkham Knight version, Jason prefers to use threads to keep you under his control rather than physical punishments. However, he'll use them if your being too defiant.

His punishments tend to be: isolation, spanking, making you use a collar shock, etc

°Jason doesn't see you as an object that will make him feel better, he genuinely loves and cares for you.

°He's deeply afraid that something bad will happen to you if he's not there to protect you.

°Jason see you as a defenseless, naive person who needs him to survive. He's gonna be your savior and lover even if you don't want him to.

°Oh don't try to escape, he'll find you pretty easily and drag you back to the safe house as he scolds you for being such a stupid brat. And if someone else was helping you escape? Jason will kill them in front of you to show you a lesson.

°He might nice and caring to you, but Jason doesn't tolerate when a darling talks back or defy him.

He doesn't like a bratty darling since it makes him think you don't trust him enough. Jason truly believes he knows what's better for you, so it's not gonna end well if you question his decisions.

°Might pull up a dirty move to make you stay, like hiring some goons to scare you if you decide to leave him. So Red Hood can come, kill them and be your hero!

°One thing to keep in mind is that all of his version are deeply insecure and touched deprived. They might want to hold you and kiss you, but it's gonna be a long way until they finally don't hesitate to do such thing.

°Their distan and pretty close to you at the same time. This goes more with the Arkham Knight and Red Hood though.

I'm gonna keep talking about the Red Hood version, so keep reading!

▪Jason wants you and will have you, he doesn't care how far he has to go for that to become true.

▪He wants to know every little single detail about you, it doesn't matter if they're insignificant.

▪So he will study you and take notes about your preferences, your weaknesses, what you like and what not and what are those little habits you have so internalized that you don't even notice you make.

▪It will lead to a point that Jason will know you better than you think to know yourself.

▪He will set cameras and a security system in your house and you will notice that Red Hood has been appearing too much near your neighborhood lately...weird.

▪Also the crippling sensation that someone is watching has been being so persistent when you go out.

▪You have tried to calm yourself down saying that it's normal since you live in a city like Gotham, but that doesn't make it any better.

▪Also lately you don't feel alone when you're in your apartment. You don't feel alone at all to be honest and it's creeping you out.

▪And what about this new guy in your life? He looks so mysterious and bad boy-ish, also wow he's pretty damn handsome and easy to talk to! How this guy can be friend of yours!?

▪Yeah, Jason got over his doubts and went out of his way to reach to you and be part of your life (with you knowing this time)

▪There's something we have to address here: at the beginning Jason couldn't accept that what he was doing was wrong. He didn't even want to acknowledge that he was deeply infatuated with you.

▪Jason didn't mean for this crush to go that far and the idea of what he's really doing, looking through the cameras he installed in your room, was making him sick.

▪However, he couldn't be away from you for long, if something happened to you it would drive him crazy, since the idea that you weren't there was enough to make anxiety paralyze his entire body.

▪Jason needs to protect you like he needs to breathe. It's not an option but a vital necessity.

▪What happens is that Jason's mind is torn between the voice that tells him to watch you closely and the one who's screaming at him and begging to stop all of this.

▪ Jason wants to possess you so he can keep the dangerous world away from you, is better than the rational part of his mind that tells him that what he is doing is foolish and will end badly.

▪But to be honest here, Jason doesn't pay much attention to the rational side of his brain unless he has a breakdown since he's more sensitive and open to those sad thoughts.

▪During one of those breakdowns were the main reason why he took you one night after about a month of overthinking every decision he has made so far and the numbing that he might lose you if he doesn't do something drastical.

▪So during a seemingly normal night in Gotham, when the rain soaked everything in it's path and made your warm bed even comfortable than ever, an exalted Red Hood broke into your apartment to kidnap you.

▪He didn't leave any space for doubt, so without hesitation he pricked your neck with a needle and carried to one of his safe houses.

▪Jason feels like he can breath again now that you're on his bed, sleeping fondly thanks to the tranquilizer.

▪You look so beautiful and innocent, it only reassures Jason that what he did was the right thing.

▪You need him to protect you from the horrible things of the world, it's more than obvious that you can't take care of yourself and Jason is more than glad to keep you safe.

▪Yeah, that's all he wants in reality. Jason doesn't give a fuck if you don't love him right away since he have the hope that one day you'll understand and finally accept his love and devotion for you and you'll do the same.

[amane-by-together]

Crème Brûlée || Hanako-kun

part two of crème brûlée

genre: lime

pairing: vampire!hanako x female guest! reader

summary: [name] is now settled in the ghost hotel after being offered by hanako to stay with him. one night, after hanako had finished his errands, he decided to visit [name] in her room. getting messy with hanako during the night doesn't seem so bad after all.

warning: heated content, blood, groping and biting (stay away if ya ain't comfy)

Hanako smiled in satisfaction, finishing the last of his errands for the night since he didn't get to do it while having dinner. He can finally take a break from his duties. It was a tough day managing the hotel's maintenance as they will accommodate the needs of their guests.

As night falls, Hanako can't help but to feel in his intuition that there's something missing. Dinner felt really boring because he just ate some bland food that doesn't even reach his taste buds. The last time he had a good feed was when he licked off the blood on [Name]'s lips.

A smirk spreads across his face, remembering the night before. Hanako had a mental image of [Name] softly calling his name, begging him to make her his. The thought excites him more, constantly being betrayed by needy thoughts about [Name].

Her blood, lips, neck and chest, he wanted them all to himself. Hanako bit his lip, his mind flooding with such sinful thoughts. He stood up from his seat, grabbing a candle holder and lighting up the candles.

Hanako left his quarters and closed the door. He roamed around the silent hallways of the floor, aiming the flame of the candle on his path to see where he was going. It seems that the guests have fallen to rest.

The sound of thunder boomed loudly and the lightning flashes through the glass window from Hanako's peripheral vision. It seems that the storm was still there, maybe it'll take a day or two for it to pass.

'Hopefully she's still awake.' Hanako stopped in front of the door to [Name]'s room. He raised his gloved hand and knocked gently to the wooden door. "May I come in?"

"Just a second~!" [Name] yelled slightly in response, probably organizing some things inside. "You may come in."

Hanako opened the door as it creaked, revealing himself while holding the candleholder. "Good evening." He greeted with a gentle smile. "Thank you for letting me in."

"Good evening to you too, Hanako-kun." [Name] addressed with a sweet tone. Hanako eyed her soft lips, and then the clothes she was wearing; an off-shoulder white dress with lacy sleeves. His amber eyes landed on the glimpse of her cleavage through her dress.

'Now that's a nice view~' Hanako slightly smirked at the sight in front of him, licking the side of his lip. He wanted to lower that dress to see more, but he must lure his prey in before completely trapping her under him. [Name] waited for Hanako to talk, it seems that he's busy staring at her with ogling eyes.

"Um, Hanako-kun?" [Name] waves her hand in front of the male to snap out of his trance. Hanako blinked and its like his breath was taken by her. "Are you alright?" She asked with concern.

"I'm alright." Hanako replied immediately, closing the door behind him and hung his cape by the coat hanger. "I recently finished my duties and ate dinner, honestly the food is bland and it has slight flavor in it so technically I haven't been eating well..."

Hanako suddenly feels light headed as his cheeks flushed, feeling intoxicated towards [Name]. He darts behind her, placing his gloved hand on top of hers and intertwined their hands. [Name]'s cheeks went red at the sudden action. "You smell really sweet tonight..." Hanako inhaled her scent as he puts his arm around her waist.

"H-Hanako—" [Name] stuttered, her knees turning weak because of Hanako. It reminded her back when they first made out in her room, and something tells her that it's happening again.

"Sorry sweetheart, I can't help it~" Hanako whispered, his breath lingering against her ear as if she can feel his lips on that part. "But you look really hot right now..."

[Name]'s heart raced inside her chest. She looks like a scared bunny that is about to be hunted by a hungry wolf. "H-Hanako-kun~" Hanako started to kiss her neck gently as a start. "Right there..."

Hanako softly nibbles at the spot, turning it into a small hickey. There's no backing away now, Hanako was about to dig in to his dessert in front of him. Hanako spins [Name] around before kissing her, looping an arm around her torso then putting his hand on the back of her hair to caress her locks. "Mmm~"

[Name] puts her arms around his neck, tugging Hanako closer. Her fingers sliding in between his choppy locks and taking off his hat. Hanako grows even more eager by licking her bottom lip in which she opens her mouth slightly, letting him slide his tongue inside. 'Ahh, her mouth feels warm.' Hanako thought as he swirled his tongue gently with hers. 'I can't stop kissing her...'

Hanako couldn't pull away from [Name], even if he did, he'll end up wanting more from her. [Name] can feel herself melting against the kiss, her legs weakening and her mind turning foggy with neediness. Both of them slowly pulled away with a string of drool hanging from their tongues, staring at each other with flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes. "Do you have anything to do after this?" [Name] asks while panting softly.

"Other than you? Not really, how about you?" Hanako bounces a question back to [Name] in which she shakes her head no. Hanako bit his lip, he looked kinda hot while doing that. "I guess it's just you and me tonight~"

Then, an idea came to his mind. Hanako glances at [Name] suggestively. "Wanna get messy with me?~" he asks, holding her chin between his thumb and pointer finger. "Like how things were getting messy last time?~"

[Name] blushed, looking down on her feet. Hanako chuckles lowly at her demeanor, she has always been sweet and shy towards the male. "I wonder how long would it take till I turn you into a mewling mess~" he teased with a playful expression and a glimpse of his fangs were showing. "Hmmm~"

"I would appreciate it if you stop teasing me..." [Name] can feel her whole face getting hotter.

"But I like teasing you dear~" Hanako implied with a cheeky smile as he booped her nose. "You're so cute I could just eat you out~"

[Name] raises her palms and places her fingertips against Hanako's lips. She shyly glances away from the vampire and muttered. "H-Hanako-kun, that's really needy of you..."

"Weren't you needy for me too?" Hanako gently yanks her hands away from his lips and then putting them around his neck as he reeled the maiden closer. "I can feel your lips mumbling for more, you know~" He says, grinning charmingly.

"Let's just continue..." [Name] blurts in with a nervous smile. Hanako tugs her closer in a kiss as [Name] eagerly kissed back. Hanako makes the kiss even more heated by moving his lips sloppily with hers.

Hanako moves [Name] to her bed, not breaking away from her lips. They both fell on the mattress while they were kissing and now Hanako was on top of her as she was underneath him. "Mmmm~ Hanako~"

"[Name], more..."

[Name] parted her lips as Hanako slips his tongue inside of her once again, exploring her wet cavern and leaves nothing unlicked. The sheets turned messy at each movement they make. Hanako pulls back, brushing his hair to the side with a smirk. "I barely did anything and you're already a hot mess~"

"Hmm~ I think I'm still needy." Hanako removes his gloves slowly with the use of his teeth. His amber eyes trailing down to her neck and chest, eyeing them with hunger causing him to lick the side of his lips. "Maybe tasting you again won't be such a bad idea~"

"What do you think? Will you let me have a taste?~"

"I don't mind, I guess..."

"Then, what if I needed more?~"

[Name] squeezed her eyes shut, turning her head away. "I'm just gonna take a tiny sip on each bite, I won't turn you into a raisin, don't worry." Hanako chuckled at her reaction, running his fingers down to her neck. "Just hold my hand again if you feel scared."

"Please be gentle..." [Name] pleaded.

"I'll try not to make it deep." Hanako assured her in which the latter nodded gravely. Hanako hooks his finger to her sleeves and lowering it down to get a better view.

"Why did you lower my dress down?" [Name] asks, feeling a little embarrassed since she's showing too much skin. "I-It feels weird..."

"It's kinda sexy~" Hanako replied with a wink and then stared at her top half. "Besides, I can see your chest better this way~"

"H-Hanako—" Hanako cuts her off by planting a soft kiss on her neck to stop her from talking. [Name] gives in too much when it comes to Hanako like an insect waltzing to a spider's web on purpose.

Not that she's complaining. [Name] is letting Hanako bite her, letting him taste her blood that excites his taste buds. She can feel him breathing against her neck. "Okay, I'll start now..."

A small squeak escapes from her lips as [Name] felt his fangs sinking down her skin, then pulling away with a bit of blood on his teeth. Hanako starts to suck the blood that is coming out from the bite. "H-Hanako-kun..." [Name] whimpered, tears forming from the corners of her eyes.

"So sweet..." Hanako licks off the running blood from her neck. "I need more..."

Hanako did the same with [Name]'s shoulders and near her chest. He wipes the bites after he took small sips of her blood with tissues. Hanako moves down to her thigh, giving it a small bite as the crimson liquid runs down in his mouth. "H-Hanako-kun~" [Name] calls him in a weak voice. "I-I think that's enough..."

"Alright then," Hanako tore his mouth away from her thigh, licking the remaining blood on his fingers and the bite mark. "Thanks for the dessert~"

"It's like you're treating me more like a dessert than an actual person." [Name] pouted.

"Sorry dear, I have a sweet tooth. You know I can't resist sweet things like you~"

[Name] initiated the kiss first, which caught Hanako off guard but he went along with it by taking the lead midway. She can probably taste her own blood since Hanako fed off her blood recently. His hands slithered down to fondle with her chest. "Mmmm~ Hanako-kun... more please..."

"You're liking this aren't you?" Hanako whispers softly in which [Name] nods her head timidly. Hanako pulls her up by her legs and wrapped them around his torso, setting her on his lap. "Look at you all hot and bothered~"

"So soft..." Hanako digs his face between her chest, inhaling her scent. [Name] patted his hair, sometimes his duality is concerning. Like a minute ago, he was ravishing her body and now he's a soft boy.

"For someone who has lived longer, you sure do act like a kid, Hanako-kun." [Name] softly said as she played with his hair. Hanako chuckled smugly and lifted his head.

"I may act like a child, but I know how to please a woman~" He smirked. His eyes glowed an ominous gold as his fangs shimmered against the candle light.

Color filled [Name’s] cheeks. "Aish you’re such a tease-" [Name] pouted and smacked his head while he laughed. Hanako leans in for a kiss, then a loud crash can be heard from outside of the room. "What was that?!"

"It's probably something else." Hanako sweatdrops, looking over to the door. "I'll check it out later, I still have to finish my treat." Hanako turns to her and smiled innocently.

[Name] was panting heavily as Hanako was groping her chest while marking her all over her top half. 'He's definitely enjoying this.' She thought as a soft moan came out of her lips. "What if someone sees the marks?"

"Then they'll know you belong to me~" Hanako smirked, cupping her cheeks and kissing her abruptly. [Name] started to unbutton his top as Hanako guides her hands till it was fully off to reveal his white undershirt. "[Name]..."

"Do you love me?" Hanako asks, his eyes turning soft towards [Name] and a small blush can be seen on his cheeks.

"Of course, Hanako-kun." [Name] smiled at the male in front of her. "I love you."

"I love you too." Hanako replied, his hand sneaking behind her, slowly lowering the zipper of her dress. Hanako connected his lips once again as he toppled on top of [Name].

It's up to your imagination on what happens next~

The next day, Hanako was back in his quarters to do his task with [Name] helping him organize the files. The telephone rang on Hanako's table, startling him a bit. "Hello, this is the manager speaking." He greeted.

"Hi, I would like to file a complaint." The guest started to speak from the other line. "Last night I heard some noises coming which made difficulty for me to sleep, maybe you can find the source of the noise? It sounded like a girl's voice if I can remember."

Hanako and [Name] knew what the person meant. [Name] blushed heavily, covering her whole face as Hanako whistled innocently. "Thank you for calling dear guest, I'll be sure to find the source of the voice and maybe I'll have a nice discussion with them~" Hanako wiggled his eyebrows at [Name], knowing that those sounds came from her.

After the call, Hanako grinned teasingly at [Name]. "I didn't know you were that loud last night~"

a/n: guess what, there's a part two :') and due to the law of nature i updated :)

[bluefirewrites]

not sure if u are still taking this but, celebrity/fan au for JUKEE 🤭

Okay this one's a little involved but I got you!

Rated T for mentions of sex and maybe some language

SEND ME A SHIP AND A NUMBER AND I’LL WRITE A SHORT FIC

******

Julie tugs against the rather short dress Flynn had squeezed her in, not caring for how much she looks like a glorified candy wrapper in the shimmering gold.

She feels like she's some Ferrer Roche, waiting to be devoured.

Which seems to be her intention for tonight because she's insane, and so is her bestie Flynn, because she's supposed to grab the attention of a certain someone in this club.

Her motives for tonight sound like they come straight out of a Wattpad story, but her boyfriend- or well maybe an ex boyfriend now'- forced her hand.

So a year ago, right around the time they started dating, they both disclosed their 'hall passes'. Just a list of celebrities they were both 'allowed' to cheat on their partners with. It was fun. Just to see who the other person would pick. 

It was harmless because the whole point is that these people are so famous, so far out of reach, that the odds of hooking up with them would be essentially impossible.

Nick's was the lead singer of the world famous pop group Dirty Candi. And Julie remembers drunkenly applauding the choice ("She's pretty! Wowww you like them Bubblegum Pop girls?")

They had a laugh that night and Julie doesn't really consider that hall pass conversation all that much since then-

-Until fast forward to last week when Nick disclosed to her that he ran into Carrie Wilson at an event. And then promptly disclosed to her that he invoked his 'Hall Pass' rights.

His rights?! She had exploded at him, and he claims that its no big deal. That he thought she would understand that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, a crazy set of circumstances, and that- 'Holy shit Jules, she was actually into me. Like what?'

Understandably, Julie stormed out and has been staying with Flynn for the time being. And it must have been the haze of crying and watching a lot of true crime series to cheer herself up that she and Flynn concocted this... plan.

One fueled by spite and pettiness.

Get back at Nick, make him jealous, make him feel how she did- by invoking her own 'Hall Pass' rights- 

-which so happens to be Sunset Curve frontman, Luke Patterson... 

"There he is" Flynn whispers from their corner of the club and Julie gulps.

"I don't think I can do this," Julie hisses at Flynn, when they spot him at the bar, nursing a drink with his bandmates like he usually would (they did their research). 

See, Julie’s been a fan of Luke’s for a long time. Ever since she heard ‘Now or Never’ in freshman year of high school, she’s been hooked onto their music- especially Luke and his voice and playing. 

She had their posters on her bedroom wall and had been that girl who would (when no one’s looking) press her fingers to her lips then press them against Luke’s image before going to bed. 

It was that bad. 

And Julie had probably fantasized on more than one occasion of meeting him and all the other scenarios you would picture in a typical Celeb x Reader scenario. 

And she’d like to think she grew out of it, now she’s in her mid-twenties and just casually listens to Sunset Curve, following up on their careers every now and then. 

But you can never really shake your first major celebrity crush. Hence he had been on her so called ‘Hall Pass’ list. 

(”You into rockstars, Jules?” Nick had teased her that night.)

Seeing him there, in the same place as her, is so surreal, but Flynn’s continued pinches to her arm remind her just how real this is. 

“This is ridiculous,” Julie crosses her arms, ready to bow out because what is she thinking? Why would Luke Patterson pick her up, of all people, at the bar? It’s like a supermodel runway in here, filled with girls more accomplished and famous. Her confidence is shaken a bit and she rethinks everything. 

"Nick didn't seem to have a problem when he did it," Flynn points out, “And girl, you look great. He would be blind to not want you.” 

The mention of Nick still boils her blood, which only reaffirms her plans for revenge. She’s still nervous but they both stand up from their booth and walk over to the bar. 

“You’re just saying that because you’re my best friend,” 

“No. You’re musician extraordinaire, Julie Molina! The world may not have heard about you, but they will one day. I bet that’s something you can talk to him about. Music? Lyrics?” 

Julie could use her songwriting credentials to her advantage, “I mean I guess-” 

“Quick, he’s getting up!” 

“Flynn, wait I’m not-” 

With a forceful push, Flynn sends Julie into the path of Luke Patterson, colliding into him and effectively spilling his drink all over her dress. 

“Oh my god,” Luke gapes at her, “I am so sorry-” 

Julie fans herself, shaking slightly from the fact she’s drenched and also that her freakin’ high school celebrity crush is looking at her, actually talking to her. 

But she recovers quickly, and she speaks, “It’s fine. Really. I guess I’m just... clumsy.” She shoots a glare at Flynn, who merely winks and retreats to their booth. 

Luke grimaces and takes her by the hand, leading her somewhere, napkins in his other hand, “Here, let’s get you cleaned up. Again, I’m sorry. Hate to ruin a pretty... dress.”

It’s the way he eyes her that catches Julie off guard. He’s... not talking about the dress, is he? 

Julie reels it back in tries her hand at a joke, “I wouldn’t call this a dress. I feel like fancy leftovers in this thing.” 

Luke stifles a laugh, “Okay, I mean I wasn’t gonna say anything but yeah. I guess it’s a bit tin foil-y.”

“Not your style?”

His gaze drifts over to her one last time, “Well, any way to take a meal back home is fine by me. I mean-” Luke scrunches his nose, wincing, “I didn’t- I didn’t mean it like that. Shit. That was too... much. Are we-” he laughs nervously, “Are we still... talking about food?”

“Unless you just called me a meal. Then no.” 

The look in his eyes say that he’s absolutely mortified, “...yeah. I think I did. I was hoping that was a nightmare.” 

“Nope, it definitely happened,” 

“Feel free to slap me,” 

Julie giggles, somewhat delirious because she hasn’t tried to flirt with him but here Luke is, flirting with her. Or trying. And failing. Like a far cry from the suave rockstar she had pictured him to be. 

“No need. Just, can you-?” she points to the napkins he’s holding hostage. 

“Oh yeah. Here,” They stop in front of the coat check, and he hands her the napkins so she could try herself off with the best she can.

Suddenly, a weight falls onto her shoulders, she looks up and sees Luke draping a jacket over her- his presumably. 

“You looked cold,”

Julie wraps the jacket tight against her, relishing in the warmth, “Wow, thanks.”

Luke smiled and stepped back, “Just so you know, if I made you feel weird in any way, I’d like to throw out my third ‘sorry’ of the night. Nothing has to happen though. So, just say the word and I’ll leave you alone.”

Whew. Um, okay. Julie stands there, faced with this decision. 

The compliments aside (she will revisit those later), Luke’s giving her an out. Any reservations she has about moving forward with this plan, this is her chance to leave. 

She could just treasure these amazing few minutes for the rest of her life. This could be a story to tell friends at a dinner party, about the time a rockstar lent her his jacket. Would be up there with the time Jack Black passed her on the street and said “Nice hat!”. 

But-

Maybe she wants to see where this goes. 

“All this talk about food is making me hungry though...” she says and Luke lights up, “I could go for a bite to eat.” 

Luke snaps his fingers, “I know just the place.” 

*******

Half an hour later, Julie and Flynn are in a smelly alleyway with the guys from Sunset Curve, in line for a street dog cart just a couple blocks away. 

“An Oldsmobile?” Julie gawked after hearing Luke and the guys describe the delicacy, “Are you trying to poison me?”

“I swear by it,” Luke insists, taking her hand and moving them up in the line. Flynn sees this and doesn’t comment, but Julie’s starting to get used to Luke doing that, “You have to try!”  

Julie doesn't know when she got over her initial starstruck, but by now its so easy to treat Luke like a regular person.

Well, celebrities are all regular people in the end, but more so now that he and his friends, have their sleeves rolled up, smiles wide, ready to dig into what may be the most disgusting hot dog she has ever seen.

Julie takes a bite out of hers and her eyes widen. Wow. It's not terrible.

"Ayy! We got another one, boys" Reggie laughs, noting her reaction.

"Told ya" Luke needles her sides and she giggles, ticklish. Her knee jerk reaction is to playfully shove him, but in the process accidentally smeared some mustard onto his face.

Luke goes to lick it off with his tongue, making funny faces as he did which amused Julie even more.

"Here," she takes a napkin and wipes at his cheek, "Now we're even."

The whole group gets to talking over by the couches, while Flynn chats up the other boys, Julie and Luke are sequestered in their own corner, and yes, eventually the topic switches to music.

"Wait, so you know Rose and the Petal Pushers?" Luke chokes out, "Like everyone I talk to hasn't heard of them!"

"Yup. Have their record actually" Julie beams proudly, censoring out the part that its her mom's band and hence she has one of the few records ever released.

Luke is floored by that and continues to poke her brain for music and Julie finds that their spiels go on naturally, that she could probably talk with Luke for hours and hours.

Which ends up happening. Flynn had already made her escape, having texted her to come home safely, the boys had gone too, leaving them in the nearly empty lot.

When the food truck closes down for the night, they end up taking a stroll down the streets of L.A, talking and getting to know each other.

Julie learns so much about Luke, things she's never heard about from the press- like his songwriting practice, that he cries at Finding Nemo, and that he can do a cartwheel only when drunk.

And in return Julie shares with him her crazy college stories, how she misses her mom sometimes, and that she is encyclopedia of commercial jingles (a fact Luke exploits by rapidly quizzing her at random moments)

Somehow they end up near the beach, with Julie pointing out the different stars she could see, but finds that Luke isn't looking at the sky.

"Hey, Julie..." He gets her attention, "I had a really good time tonight."

"Me too"

"So... would it be alright, if I kiss you?"

Julie's mouth parts, speechless. It happened. Holy shit it happened or... is happening. She has Luke exactly where she wants him.

She could only nod and Luke takes it as the sign to lean in, but just as his lips is about to brush against hers, she freaks-

"Wait" she steps back. Luke opens his mouth, "No. No more 'sorry's from you. This one's one me. I'm sorry but... this- this" She sighs, "I have to be honest with you."

Then she tells Luke everything- Nick, The Hall Pass, her plans for tonight- basically admitting to using him.

When she's done, she expects for Luke to get angry, to leave in a huff and never want to see her again.

That's not what happens.

"This Nick guy sounds like a piece of work" he says.

Julie nods slowly, "Yeah... I guess he was. So maybe that's why I did it. But I don't think I could have gone through with it. Like I don't think we're together, me and Nick but-"

"You wouldn't want to do what he did. Because you don't want to hurt people," Luke surmises, understanding, "And by doing that, that means you're a better person than he is."

"I guess"

"No Julie, you're a good person" Luke insists, "Man, I think that makes me like you even more."

Julie laughs, "God, if my high school self could see me now..."

"You were a big fan?"

"I'm not having this conversation right now with you,"

"Okay cuz now you got me curious-"

Julie swats his shoulder but it doesn't deter the guy from snickering.

On a more serious note though-

"I think..." Julie hums, "I think this means that I got some stuff to work through. Before I could start considering... this."

"I understand"

"But thank you... Luke. For tonight"

"It's been real, Julie,"Luke smiles and pulls her in for a half hug, "And you should keep the jacket. Looks better on you anyway."

****

Julie goes back to Flynn's that night and her bestie's still awake, wanting all the deets. But there's not much to tell. Nothing happened.

She shrugs off the jacket and resigns to the couch, not caring that her makeup is still on. She's about ready to pass out.

Her phone dings.

She pulls it out and sees two notifications.

luke_patterson is now following you

luke_patterson is requesting to message you.

Curious, she accepts the request.

'here if you want to talk, Tin Foil :P'

Julie rolls her eyes and collapses onto the couch, sleeping with a smile on her face.

She doesn't know it now, but the oncoming years would be filled with more messages back and forth, meetups with their friends for more shady street food, building a solid foundation of friendship and eventually, when Luke asks again if he could kiss her, Julie would eagerly prop herself on her toes to close the gap.

Yeah, Julie's high school self would definitely be screaming...

[seyaryminamoto]

Do you think canon Zuko has any understanding of the idea of duty? That he, especially given that he aspires to political power, should act like his status as Prince gives him certain responsibilities? That doing what's best for the for Fire Nation or the world might require him to do things which make him unhappy or uncomfortable or require him to make grave personal sacrifices? Does he even understand duty as a concept?

Oof. Complicated questions, thus, this sat in my inbox for a veeeery long time.

I honestly, seriously, genuinely... don't think Zuko truly understood, at any point in canon, what it really meant to be a leader. I know many of us (and I think you, too?) don't particularly like the comics, but in my opinion, The Promise did a surprisingly decent job at highlighting several problems left in the wake of the end of the war, and perhaps unintentionally, this is one of the problems: upon becoming Fire Lord, Zuko is remarkably erratic, unsure of his choices, even seeking advice from his FATHER, of all people, because he has no idea what he's doing.

In the most favorable possible view of Iroh, he taught Zuko to be a better person. I don't entirely adscribe to this belief, but fine, let's concede that he did, or else this answer would never end: not just because you're a good person, however, are you guaranteed to be a good leader. Zuko, as we both know, is far from the best person in the world, and he is prone to making impulsive, emotional mistakes that can cause harm and trouble, and typically, Zuko doesn't face the consequences of most his actions, or the narrative just pins the blame on someone else. When we see this sort of behavior in a real-life politician, the immediate reaction we would have is "this guy is awful at his job", and sadly, I find myself thinking that quite often when it comes to Zuko's canon tenure as Fire Lord.

So... what is Zuko's concept of duty? Going by his pursuit of Aang in the first two seasons, duty is a task given to him by someone whose approval he seeks (in this case, Ozai) and he must pull it off, no matter what, to gain said approval. By Book 3, this logic still applies fairly easily to how Zuko acts over Iroh: I've highlighted in the past that the main motivation for Zuko's redemption is Iroh, doing right by Iroh, making amends to Iroh, regretting how he treated Iroh. He points that out explicitly in Ember Island Players, he does it as well indirectly by bringing up Iroh first of all, when confronting Ozai: this is his main priority. Ergo... I'd honestly say it's safe to judge that this is what Zuko regards as duty, as what he has to do. Iroh wants him to be Fire Lord? That's exactly what he becomes. The difficulties and complications in this particular line of work are taken for granted, and so, we have an outcome that was remarkably well depicted in The Promise, despite that comic's many glaring flaws: Zuko gets swept back and forth, twisted left and right by all the pressures and responsibilities, because he has no idea what he's doing as Fire Lord, and no idea/experience in how to be a real leader.

As far as I can tell, the core of the matter is that nobody really seems to have taken Zuko all that seriously as future Fire Lord. Ozai, evidently, wasn't training Zuko to be his personal heir. Ozai himself is a questionable source of information regarding learning what it means to be Fire Lord, considering he, as well, wasn't raised to take that role, just as he didn't raise Zuko for it. Yet Iroh didn't exactly teach Zuko how to lead anyone either, as far as I can tell: his lessons were meant to be of a more personal nature, and even then, Zuko had lots of trouble accepting most of them. Iroh's firebending lessons to Zuko were typically stunted in the basics because he was hot-headed and rash about getting to the intense and interesting stuff...

So: neither Ozai nor Iroh gave Zuko actual responsibilities. Ozai gave him a punishment Zuko was trying to endure however possible, a punishment he wanted to prove himself unworthy of by finding the Avatar and "regaining his honor". Then, Iroh punished Zuko as well by giving him the cold shoulder in Book 3, then he escaped and Zuko did everything he did, after betraying Ozai, to prove himself worthy of Iroh's kindness once again. It's not actual duty, the way it is in Azula's case: no doubt, Azula wants Ozai's approval too, but she has the madman's trust when it comes to finding her brother and uncle, to taking down the Avatar, and to conquering Ba Sing Se, as far as anyone can tell. I do doubt Ozai gave her all these missions at once, but he gave her the resources through which she pulled off ALL of them: she had the firebending procession, she had a ship, she had a train-tank, she had mounts... Zuko had a rundown ship that looked like a 1:10 scale version of every other ship in the harbor back in the very third episode: he was being punished. In contrast, Azula is entrusted with a mission, with LEADERSHIP, while Zuko has no visible, tangible, objective experience with the latter (consider how Azula steals the Dai Li's loyalty from under Long Feng: when did we see Zuko pulling off something like this? Even with Jet, Zuko was more of an associate to the Freedom Fighters, and Jet was still the leader).

I've always thought Zuko wasn't prepared to be Fire Lord, and the main reasons are the ones you indirectly point out through this ask: Zuko doesn't seem to treat the throne as a responsibility, but as his right. I won't get tired of pointing out that this was NOT Zuko's birthright, he was NOT born thinking he'd be Fire Lord: he was born to the second branch in the Fire Nation family. We literally SEE the day in which Lu Ten's death is revealed to him. According to somewhat official sources? He's ELEVEN in Zuko Alone's flashbacks. I, personally, think he looks a little younger than that, but I think that's the official wikia age, no idea where they got that info but that's what it says. Meaning...

Zuko, objectively, only had been crown prince for FIVE YEARS.

Zuko was NOT raised, not by his mother, not by his father, with the belief that the throne would one day be his (Ursa is gone before Ozai is crowned and Ozai clearly wanted Azula for the job rather than Zuko).

And yet, when you backtrack to the show? It seriously looks like that was the case. He clings to the throne in Books 1 and 2 as though he had no other purpose in life, as though this was everything that was promised to him (in contrast, Azula only ever indicates wanting the throne in Sozin's Comet: Part One). Even when he's an outlaw, discarded and cast out, he STILL talks about the throne, as though most his identity were built upon the notion that he must become Fire Lord: why? How come? Within five years, he's crafted his entire existence around being the heir to the throne? That's... a bit weird.

And a bit wishful, too. Which is why I commend that the comics show him struggling as Fire Lord, if anything they should've had him struggling MORE than that, because Zuko is simply NOT prepared for these responsibilities. He never gave any indication, any sign, of seeing it as such. He sees it as his right, his birthRIGHT. Why? Why more people don't ponder how utterly strange this behavior is, beats me. But it really does bother me that Zuko built his entire existence around being Fire Lord in a very similar way to how Korra built her own about being the Avatar. I have very little praise to give LOK in general, but the premise of Korra learning she was a person, a human, and not just the Avatar felt like the perfect parallel to Aang's story, where he was very much anchored in his humility and belief that he was just "one kid", and his rejection of his duties as the Avatar was meant to change gradually as he learned to accept himself as he was. Korra, however, never fully hit the mark with this subject, in my personal opinion... much as Zuko doesn't hit the mark either, since the show's only direct attempt to "deconstrue" Zuko's clinging to the throne happens in one dialogue, and his attachment to the idea is built up again, right afterwards:

Zuko: And then ... then you would come and take your rightful place on the throne? Iroh: No. Someone new must take the throne. An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko. Zuko: Unquestionable honor? But I've made so many mistakes. Iroh: Yes, you have. You've struggled; you've suffered, but you have always followed your own path. You restored your own honor, and only you can restore the honor of the Fire Nation. Zuko: I'll try, Uncle.

And there we have it. The only point in the show (that I can remember) where Zuko seemed to not feel worthy of the throne and questioned he should be the one sitting on it (RIGHTFULLY!), buuuuuuuut he goes right back to wanting it, right afterwards, based on how this single exchange was enough for him to be 100% determined to take down his sister, merely a few lines later.

As for his willingness to make personal sacrifices... some might say he was outright willing to die for Katara in the finale -- though I'll point out he was trying to redirect the lightning anyway, didn't do it as well as he should have, but he wasn't exactly, consciously, trying to DIE for her... --, some might say that he left Mai behind in the FIre Nation, and that as well was a sacrifice... but was it? We don't see him missing her, or suffering about her fate, at any point in time after SHE sacrifices herself for him in the Boiling Rock (my biggest gripe over this particular canon couple is this, tbh). I feel like the show generally presents Zuko's situation as somewhat... self-sacrificial? Especially in Books 1 and 2, and yet that's really not the case: it isn't Zuko himself who makes the choice of traveling to find Aang, it's a punishment inflicted upon him.

This particular view upon his circumstances makes it so Zuko is never responsible for... well, any of his choices? It's always someone else's fault, therefore, whatever he suffers through, there's always someone he can (and usually does) resent for it. Therefore... I can't genuinely think of anything Zuko sacrificed in order to come as far as he did. He was forced to let go of things by his father, typically, by Zhao as well, maybe, but even then, it's not like we saw that he has a super healthy and happy relationship with, I don't know, Earth Kingdom people (his only meaningful positive EK bond was with Jin, which went nowhere and goes forgotten after a single mini episode)? The Palace staff? The commoners of the Fire Nation (they just treat him like a hero and he seems awkward and distant about it anyway, like he can really just do without their worship)? He doesn't have other friends beyond Azula's own friends... thus, he doesn't sacrifice anything that really matters. And in a sense, some people might say he doesn't have to sacrifice anything at all: he already went through so much strife and struggle that why would he need to sacrifice anything else? But the thing is... you DO have to learn to make such sacrifices if you're going to be a good king.

So often, people who devote themselves to their jobs have to consciously neglect their families, to name one thing: Zuko neglects Mai and she explodes at him for it in The Promise, then he just tries to get her back at all costs in Smoke & Shadow, with no thoughts given to the fact that maybe he isn't ready to juggle both a relationship and the throne, that maybe Mai could be happier with someone other than him, someone who can give her the attention and relationship she's looking for... THOSE are the sacrifices I'd be referring to, personally, sacrifices where his happiness and peace of mind have to be set aside for the sake of something much more important than himself, and I expect that's the kind of sacrifices you're referring to, too. I seriously don't think he's ready to make them, and with the comics as reference, there's seriously no evidence to suggest he's prepared to accept these burdens that come with the heavy mantle of leadership and ruling. I've never seen any signs of him being ready for it, myself. Maybe I need to reexamine the show and see if maybe I'm missing something... but I don't really think I am.

The worst part, for me, is that Zuko isn't even doing the bulk of the things he's doing in pursuit of genuine happiness: he's doing it over a sense of destiny. He never stops to reason with that destiny, to wonder if maybe he doesn't need to be Fire Lord, if maybe he could have a life beyond that role. Book 2 veeeery briefly suggests he MIGHT be on his way to questioning that destiny, but as I've said before, I don't see the sense in Zuko's big change of heart after the Appa incident considering we don't really understand what he's learned, other than how to be the perfect nephew for Iroh, apparently. Zuko never really is happy, as he says in the show: his happiest moments are with Mai and they're only like a 25% of his relationship with her, everything else is a mess (and his relationship with her isn't exactly the core of his character, either). So, the way I see it... Zuko is even worse off than it looks at first glance. He's out to fulfill a destiny he has never stopped to reason with, a destiny he's 100% sure is his, despite he has only been on that path, objectively, for five years? Despite he wasn't raised all along under the belief that this was what he was supposed to be? If given a chance to be genuinely happy, what on earth would he even do? A lot of the growth I gave him in Gladiator was based on that particular question: is the throne really what Zuko needs to be happy? It doesn't look like it, even in canon. If it's not... then it's not happiness he seeks, it's some sort of sense of assurance that he's doing the right thing, according to the figure of authority he follows at a set point in time: by Book 3, said authority is Iroh, and Iroh wants him on the throne. His motivation, as far as I can see it, is as simple as that.

Long story short... I don't think Zuko really has a strong grasp on many concepts that he absolutely should have reasoned with and worked out in order to become Fire Lord. In a sense, he's way too young for the role he's given, for the heavy burdens he has to deal with, and I'll NEVER see the sense in not having Iroh taking the throne (beyond how "poetic" the creators and writers found it to crown Zuko to finish his story, of course), at least for a short time, before Zuko can be ready. This is exactly why I wrote things that way in my oneshot where Azula takes Zuko's role, more or less: Iroh serves as regent while Azula prepares for taking the full role of Fire Lord when she's ready. I love her, she's awesome, I absolutely adore her character... but I don't think an Azula who was sidelined and sent on a long voyage with her uncle for YEARS could possibly be ready for the responsibilities of being Fire Lord right away.

Meanwhile? Iroh was given leadership of military missions enough times that he became a general in the Fire Nation forces. By all evidence, he was Fire Lord Azulon's pampered and spoiled son, whom he DID prepare for the duties of a Fire Lord for as long as Iroh was born: Iroh literally had fifty-ish years of preparation, as far as I can tell? How is he NOT the better suited person to take the throne, if just temporarily, while his nephew learns what it really means to rule by watching him, or by maybe learning leadership by managing smaller duties first, a specific town or city, and then putting his knowledge to good use by becoming Fire Lord properly?

Eh... because it wouldn't be an epic enough finale for the show, I suppose. That's the only answer I can find for this particular question.

So... yeah. That got long :'D but in short... I don't think Zuko has a strong grasp on responsibility and duty, let alone on the burdens inherent to these concepts. Yet more reasons why his character's arc can't hit all the marks it should, imo, to make it as great as the whole fandom is already convinced it is.

[yourmcu]

102

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader

Summary:

Songfic based on ‘102′ by the 1975. Moments when Natasha’s really in love with you.

A/n: listen to that song here, it’s good

Word count: 2,442

Warnings: fluff. pining. angst. angst. one sided relationship. r’s an idiot

Well, we’re here We’re at the common again

To put it simply, Natasha’s in love with you. It’s been a while now and she’s positive about her feelings. She’s not even in denial of it.

Natasha loves everything about you especially those little things and how you can make her day a thousand times better just by being around. Only realizing it a few years after you became a full time Avenger, you’re still unaware even though you’ve got this wonderful friendship with her.

Friendship, she sighs. She thought she could do anything, unfortunately admitting her stupid feelings isn’t one of them. She’d be risking the friendship and bond you two have, or, you could admit that you felt the same and everyone’ll be happy.

However, the thing is, you don’t.

“I like the way that your face looks when I’m arguing with you”.

She finds you adorable even if it's just the dumbest thing ever.

"Nat!" You whine, flailing your hands at your sides like a child. "I called shotgun!"

"I got here first, didn't I?"

"Children, better hurry it up or we'll miss the premiere." Tony gets in the driver's seat.

Natasha sticks her tongue out and crosses her legs to get comfortable, teasing you. The way your eyebrows furrow and your lips turn into a pout, sometimes you'd flail your arms or cross them is so adorable to her.

"Nat," you drag out, crawling in to sit on her lap and attempt to push her out. You don't think of it much because you're frustrated. "Come on, Nat!"

"There's room for both of us here, this is fine." She smirks, wrapping her arms around your waist making you jolt. You're ticklish like that.

Natasha teasing you is the norm for the team so they barely react, so normal that Tony just goes ahead and drives while you're still on the redhead's lap.

"Stop! We're gonna get pulled over!"

"Eh, they owe us an unpayable debt, remember?"

Even if the matter's more serious, she couldn't help but feel soft for you. Every time.

Inside you were freaking out. It was when the Avengers were handed the Sokovia Accords. They were all your friends and to see them split in two sides was - crazy. You remained undecided, but you knew if you didn't sign you'd probably be behind bars.

Both sides made valid points. After Steve abruptly left you were with Natasha most of the time. She tried her best to persuade you that signing was the best option for the team.

"You know I'm not one with politics, I just don't trust them, Nat," you sigh, gently taking her hand to fiddle with. "But - but then again, we've done enough collateral damage through the years."

Natasha nods. "you know I'm with you no matter what happens, right?"

You nod as well and offer a thankful smile. She truly is your bestest friend.

"Just because it's the path of least resistance doesn't mean it's the wrong path," she continues. "Staying together is more important than how we stay together."

Her hand now intertwines with yours. But she gently removes hers, that's way too... weird. You can't just do that, Romanoff.

She mentally sighs in relief since it doesn’t look like you noticed. You remain silent, deep in thought, but you snap out of it when she gets up.

"I'm making a quick stop to London then I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the Accords. You're welcome to join me."

And so when, when we all grow old I hope this song will remind you that I’m not half as bad As what you’ve been told

Here we are, sort of like your origin story on how you met the Avengers.

Steve introduced you to the team when you've settled, healed, and able to control your pyrokinesis. You were thankful for them saving you from the HYDRA base because unlike the others, the experiments they ran on you were forced.

As Natasha first laid her eyes on you, that cliché moment in movies where in the character's surroundings seem to slow down and the only thing you're focused on is that one particular person-

She didn't believe in that shit. She would scoff and roll her eyes whenever she saw a scene like that.

But it happened to her. She hated it and would've accused you for taking her breath away.

"Yeah. Natasha Romanoff." She curtly extends a hand for you to shake and you smile at her, taking it.

And for a while she ignores you while simultaneously looking you up behind your back.

Why would someone like you, a genuine and beautiful ray of sunshine, want anything to do with someone like Natasha?

She's terrified of the thought of what your reaction would be if you realize what she'd done in the past. Ah, her past, something she isn’t proud of.

You finally confront her one day, hating how you seem to get a long with everyone just fine except her.

Your real reaction being, "we've all done something really bad that we regret. I mean, look at me, I was treated like a weapon for a quarter of my life and I can produce fire anytime, which I didn't ask for - sorry, I guess what I'm saying is, I don't think you're a bad person Natasha. You're here, aren't you? Saving people's lives? You're a better version of yourself, you're changing and if you ask me that's what really matters. Now, can we get some coffee?"

Natasha's been in love with you ever since.

And when I knock at a hundred and two, And I see your pajamas I can’t stop smiling at you

Natasha heard soft knocks outside her door one night. To be honest she'd be most likely to ignore the harsh and hard knocks, so she got up and made her way to open the door.

There you stood in your pajamas. You hate the matching ones, just like the pair you had on that night. But you also hate mismatching them. Natasha wouldn't admit to think that you look nice in them though. "Hi," you manage to say, avoiding looking her directly in the eyes since you already doubt she'd let you stay just this once. "I... uh, m'sorry for waking you up, Nat-"

While you find the words to say Natasha just observes - that's creepy - admires - she looks, she looks. You're clearly dying inside, probably regretting you knocked, the way you prefer looking at anything but her as you try and get words out, and how you fiddled with the hem of your shirt.

"God, you know what? Never mind, I... I'm sorry for waking you up."

Before you could walk away Natasha opens her door wider, her face displaying full concern. "Hey, what happened?"

"It's nothing serious, I was just-"

"As your friend, I'm here for you no matter what," she wonders what'd it be like if it’s more than that. "Plus, I won't be able to go back to sleep either if you end up not telling me." She offers you a smile.

You sigh, looking her in the eye for the first time that night. "Had a nightmare. It was one of those kinds where I had no idea if I was gonna wake up from it - it was just - I feel like if I went back to sleep I'd see it again, you know?" You exhale, frowning.

She's glad you chose to show your vulnerable side to her, it just goes to show that you trust her that much, feeling like you could tell her anything.

You bite your lip, looking away. "I'm being such a baby about it, sorry-"

"Y/N," she states. "Stop apologizing and come here,"

Natasha motions you inside her room and almost immediately you latch yourself onto her, hugging her as you near the bed. It must've been bad, you seem shaken up about it.

You sigh in relief when Natasha pulls the covers over both of you, enveloping you into warmness.

Natasha lies beside you with her elbow propped up to look at you. "Do you... want to talk about it? Or I can put on a movie if you'd like."

You shake your head slightly, scooting near her. "I'm all good now."

Natasha's heart skips a beat, knowing that she's the one making you feel at ease, calm. She smiles and nods, turning to turn off the lamp.

Friends can cuddle, right? She wonders. She wants to wrap an arm around you more than anything but she feels that would be some sort of violation. So she hopes that the closeness of your bodies would be enough, for now. Hopefully.

I said “well I, I like the cut of your jib,”, “I like the way that your face looks when you're yapping on about him,”

Even though you were being affectionate with Natasha sometimes, you never returned her feelings.

Only a total asshole would hang around with someone often and do something that would cross that barrier, giving signs and subtle hints that you liked her, at least that’s what it looked like to Natasha but it ended up actually didn’t. Were you really the one to blame though? You have no idea Natasha likes you more than a friend.

Which lead you to making a very poor choice of opening up about someone you liked, to the one who liked you.

Natasha’s heart was racing when you mentioned you liked someone and planned to take them on a date, but you decided to go to her for advice first. 

It was a fifty-fifty chance for her, really.

“I mean, she is very mysterious,” you thought while running your thumb across your bottom lip. “Wanda.”

From there, Natasha just tried to ignore the sudden ache in her chest, pulling herself together in your presence. Of course it wasn’t her, you would never like someone like her. Plus, it was expected. You and Wanda shared a few more things in common than Natasha.

Noticing that the redhead hasn’t spoken a word, you continue. “I’d like to get to know her better but... you’ve known her longer than me, right, Nat? I want her to be comfortable if I ever get to go out with her.”

She tried to swallow the lump on her throat subtly, avoiding your eyes. She wanted nothing more than to walk away, out of anybody’s sight so no one could see her mercilessly destroy anything in her sight.

“You don’t need to,” she finally replies. “You could watch her favorite sitcoms together and you’ll win her over.”

“Sitcoms?”

“She likes them.”

You pout, pondering about the idea further while Natasha sighs to herself.

And after you excuse yourself to talk to the young witch, Natasha wastes no time to head to her floor to have some well deserved alone time to herself and mope, telling herself that she doesn’t and never will deserve someone like you.

But on this shirt I found your smell I just sat there for ages Contemplating what to do with myself

You and Natasha are both lucky to have each other on the team. The both of you are a match made in heaven on the battlefield, you have each other's backs.

"So... that went well," you state, referring to the mission, putting your hands on your hips as Natasha packs her stuff to get ready to leave for the next day. You bite the inside of your cheek, cursing yourself for packing lightly. "Can I borrow a shirt?"

Natasha just finished showering, now in the process of doing her usual routines before going to bed. She grabs a shirt from her closet and pulls it on.

She sighs exhaustedly, running her fingers through her hair. The fact that the shirt she put on was the same one you borrowed from her that day doesn’t click immediately.

But when it does,

"Fuck."

Natasha told herself to slowly move on because a more-than-friends relationship with you is not happening.

Well, not that she's ever told you directly that she's in love with you, but she can take a hint. You clearly aren’t interested.

And now she sits there alone with a shirt that fucking smells like you, her favorite person. At that moment she wants to just march over to your room and confess.

Trying to move on isn’t a good look on her, key word: trying to.

You’re something else. No one's made her feel this way before.

I called you up at a hundred and two, We just sat there for ages Talking about that boy who was getting on to you

You just might be the most oblivious idiot ever.

Because after your first, second date with Wanda you still failed to notice the changes in Natasha’s mood. You should know, you considered her your best friend, but being with Wanda became your priority ever since you pulled off impressing her on the first date.

Instead of letting you be, Natasha had to call you. At the time you were on your break, taking time off out of the compound. She just wanted some sort of closure at least, wasn’t even sure if that’s what to call it considering you both would still be friends, but she needed it.

“Hey, I won’t take up too much of your time,” she starts, but you immediately bombard her with what happened with your day with Wanda.

Natasha bites her lip as you do, every little thing you mentioned that she could only imagine doing with you sends her heart throbbing. But at the same time she’s happy for you. She simply loved seeing you happy. 

“I couldn’t have managed to do any of it let alone talk to Wanda without your help. Thanks, Nat,” she smiles sadly at your words, completely scrapping the thought of confessing her feelings to you. Maybe it didn’t matter anymore. “We should hang out when I get back. I miss you.”

She shakes her head. “I can’t, I... I’m being sent off for a mission soon,” she blinks back the tears and she could’ve sworn the ache she felt just got worse. Before she could utter another word, you sigh.

“Oh. I’ll see you when you get back, then?”

“I guess.”

When the call ends she goes to her messages to type out the things she’s been dying to say. She’ll be gone when you get back, she won’t have to face you once you’ve read it. After everything I still love you. It’s been too long, you deserve to know.

[0littlestwolf0]

All that matters

Yandere! Percy Jackson

Ship: Yan!Percy Jackson x innocent/fragile reader

Warnings: Violence, over use of powers.

Requested by: @xxscreamingcolorxx

It started off innocently enough. Way too innocent for that matter, maybe that’s what ignited him.

You were just the new kid in the big apple, someone who just moved there because of your parent’s job, and like any teen would have, your mind started wandering off, imaginating all the possibilities, all the movies that could come true before your eyes!

As for him, it was just another year in yet the same school (something he was really grateful for), only the first day and he was already counting the days until he could return to camp, to his friends.

Annabeth.

The name stung him like a bee, scratch it, it felt more like an angry wasp, but he ignored it, she was the closest person he had, who could actually understand him, and hey, he did love her, maybe not in the way she did him but for all he knew that was it for everyone, maybe that’s why people say that friends end up falling in love, more like a ‘next step’ thing than actual love.

Was that even real though? He surely didn’t know, but he was comfortable with what he had, and that was good enough, so he tried to shrug the thoughts away and finished getting ready for his day.

Soon enough he was already in his seat, headphones blasting a playlist he had spent the night downloading from questionable websites, and his head between his hands, doing everything in his willpower not to start a mess.

Naturally he didn’t notice someone new entering the classroom, he tried to stay away from most others, and people didn’t really like him either, much of a troublemaker, they’d say.

His lack of social skills made sure you got a seat on your first day. But he didn’t look up as you seated, his senses did however, perk up at your perfume, some wildflower and another thing he couldn’t quite pinpoint, but it reminded him of camp, so he couldn’t help inhaling even deeper, he made the silent decision to start sitting near you.

And it could have been that way, you being your a scent he liked, just another person, but the fates had other plans, as did the first teacher, who didn’t waste a second on explaining the week project to be done in pairs.

His music was gone at this point, and he sighed, he didn’t like working on teams for school. Better yet, he didn’t like ending up with whoever else didn’t have a partner. Just then he felt a finger poking his arm, with a raised brow he turned to see you.

And your breath got stuck in your throat, he was probably one of the cutest boys you had ever seen, yet, his resting face (or so you hoped it was his resting face) looked just a combination between angry and dangerous. But you didn’t listen to your gut and talked “Would- uh... Sorry! I’m new and I was wondering if you’d like to partner up?”

Your voice had to be the sweetest thing, he was already starting to take a liking to you. You see, he isn’t the type of yandere to just get obsessed, it was your scent that drew him to you, yet, your willingness to spend time with him did make him feel better.

“Are you- Yeah, sure” he had to stop himself from pointing you to another person without a partner, not yet believing you’d want to partner up with him. But your enthusiasm changed his mind.

—

Before any of you knew, the day was over and you were waiting for him on your designated spot just outside the school, it didn’t take him long to reach you.

You saw his expression change as he crossed the glass doors, first a schooled glance to the floor, not allowing himself to even look at anybody else, you didn’t understand that, he didn’t look that strong but when you touched his arm you did feel hard muscle, then, why would he avoid trouble so much?

He didn’t seem to see you at first, but he did, trust me on that, he was just afraid of you changing your mind and would very much rather if you just left than the direct confrontation, but he couldn’t understand why, why the idea of you turning your back of him turned him inside out.

But of course you didn’t, you approached him with the sweetest smile on your face and stood right in front of him “Hey!” He couldn’t hold a smile at your voice, you just sounded so eager “Should we go to the library?” Were you always this eager? No, that seemed impossible, maybe you were just happy to be with him, that certainly made his smile bigger

“Uh- I mean- Sure” he was nervous, which made him want to laugh his ass off, sure he could fight gods and monsters but send a pretty girl his way and he’d stutter “I mean, I was actually thinking we could do it on the park” he finally added, the park was a bit far, but if there were any monsters he’d be able to deflect them easily on an open place rather than a dead-quiet-library.

“Yeah! Sounds good to me!” You agreed with a sweet smile and allowed him to lead the way “Just help me with the whole getting back thing, I still don’t really know the city” he nodded eagerly, almost as much as you had before, it was an excuse to spend more time with you.

Now this didn’t concern him as cheating or misleading Annabeth, for he didn’t think you’d like him, you see, he doesn’t seem to find himself as someone most girls, especially girls like you, would feel attracted t him, so even if he felt the this growing killer bees on his stomach every time he saw you, nothing would ever happen.

You walked with him through numerous streets, he took advantage of your lack of knowledge and took you through the long path, he didn’t even notice that he’d done that at first, but you were just so engrossed on your retelling of that X-Men movie, that he wanted to hear you talk like that for hours, suddenly, you stopped, your head held down “I’m sorry, I just get a bit excited sometimes” that sobered him “No, no, it’s okay, please continue, I really want to know what happened to this Logan dude after that”

You blushed but tried to hide it with a laugh, still looking down “It’s okay, I know I can talk a lot, and it might be stressing” you added, it was your attempt to stop yourself from boring the first friend you made on that school, but it made his blood boil, people just didn’t understand you fucked up the world was, fighting every day against monsters, losing friends on the way, and how amazing it was to hear stories from someone like you, someone without the blood that he had in his hands.

“Well, I like it, and I really need more context, so the future isn’t the future then? He just changed it and that’s that?” He understood the story, but sometimes making an easy question was the easiest way to make others talk.

And you went on, you arrived to the park and sat on a desk with him, taking your supplies and started working on the project, you were open, and gave ideas, still never shut any of his, you asked for his opinion every step of the way and used almost every idea he had.

That made him feel warm, you were most likely the first person to trust his ideas and hear him without a scowl or a frown, he couldn’t understand how would anyone shut you down when you talked? Every time you looked down and scratched your arm he noticed you were stopping yourself from over sharing.

Why would anyone hurt you like that? He just wanted names, they didn’t deserve someone like you in their lives, not one bit, they deserved to suffer for making you ashamed of your words. It surprised him, really, that rage boiling inside him, and how soon it’d be gone as soon as you smiled back at him.

And then it happened, a manticore loose in the park, running around and tearing people apart, he saw the moment your instinct kicked in, you could see through the mist.

He took Riptide from his pocket and stood up, but you grabbed his arm and pulled him down, holding a finger to your lips “Don’t” was everything you said, and he gulped, maybe you did care about him a little, his mind started wandering, maybe you felt as connected to him as he did you, he wanted to nod and stay with you under the table, to keep you from danger, but the only way he knew was by killing it.

“Please” you pleased “it’s going to hurt you” he laughed humorlessly, “Not my first rodeo” was all he said as a smirk took over his mouth and winked your way, maybe he also wanted to show off a little.

It was weird, he had never wanted to show off before.

But oh well, the manticore was closing in as soon as it’s nostrils flared up with the demigod scent on him, he needed to stop thinking and start moving, natural talent and years of training in camp made it easy for him, more like a dance than a battle, not that he’d ever been good at dancing, but you get the idea.

A move to the left, an angry manticore to the right, sarcastic comment out about how bad the sun had treated the manticore’s skin and a “you should really get some moisturizer for that crack in your skin” and proceeded to stab it directly on the belly as the manticore jumped.

And he laughed, allowing the rest of adrenaline to leave him, after getting so worked up with thoughts of people hurting your feelings, killing something felt really good. Maybe too good.

He turned to look at you, and his stomach dropped, your throat was being held tightly, lifting you ever so slightly from the floor by an empusai, were monsters working together now?

Of course it would happen to him, out of all demigods in New York.

Now he realized, his blood hadn’t been boiling before, but it was now, burning his very skin from the inside, the empusai giggled and he gave a step closer, then you were struggling again “Now, now, one more move and your pet dies”

Pet? Oh now it was personal, he didn’t understand his blind rage, maybe by an outside point of view, you had reminded him of what light was, even with the ability to see monsters you saw the good in people, that much he realized from your speech about Magneto being just misunderstood.

Maybe you weren’t as innocent as he once thought but you still tried hard enough to make conversation with him, you even tried in your way to keep him safe, and now, everything he’d seen was good and worth saving was being threatened.

It didn’t took him a word, just a small move from his left hand to the side, and now it was the empusai’s blood that boiled, literally, she started crying, he didn’t stop, all the fluids in her body boiled now, and started moving inside her, desfigurating her, she screamed and let you go, he didn’t stop.

You ran to him and he threw Riptide to the ground, instantly feeling the (now lesser) weight of a pen settling on his pocket, with his now free arm he grabbed you by the showlders and held you to him.

“Don’t look” he warned, grabbing now your head and pulling it to his shoulder, one last move of his left hand to the right and the empusai’s blood chocked her to death, streaming down her ears, nostrils and eyes, her mouth forever set on a silent scream as she fell to her knees and finally turned into ichor.

Just then did he allow himself to fully hold you, his arms wrapped tightly around your as your heavy breath tickled the side of his neck, your arms wrapped just as tightly around his waist.

He realized with guilt that you were shaking, you were probably scared of him now “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” he repeated in a whisper against your hair, unable to let you go.

“No” you shut him and separated your body from his by merely centimeters, his stomach dropped “I’m okay, you’re okay, that’s all that matters” you said grabbing his face, forcing his wandering eyes to stay still on yours “Survival of the fittest, right?” You joked and he allowed a worried breath to leave his body, you weren’t treating him like a freak.

He nodded and you hugged him again, just as tightly, he still felt you shiver every once in a while.

I’m okay, you’re okay, that’s all that matters,

I’m okay, you’re okay, that’s all that matters,

I’m okay, you’re okay, that’s all that matters.

He repeated in his head over and over like a mantra.

You were too good for this world, and if that evening showed him anything was that monsters were probably going to come for you at some point, and he wouldn’t let them get even a step close.

He promised himself then and there that no one would ever harm you, monster or otherwise. After all, the gods owed him, he could get his way this once.

[fallasleepscenarios]

𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓫𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓼𝓸𝓶 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓽 [bakugo x reader]

type: one shot, angst, fluff pairing: bakugo katsuki x reader (gender not specified) summary: (Y/N) and Bakugo have not established their relationship, leaving (Y/N) to question their whole "friends with benefits" thing. And it all goes down to what happens when they attend Kirishima's party. rating: R for implication of sexual act word count: 2.4k disclaimer: I do not own any of the mha characters and all of them are written as if they are of age also posted on my wattpad one shots book

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

"You're so silly. Get your butt here."

Bakugo shrugs and pouts angrily but eventually lets his body fall on me and weighing me down on the couch as I try to lift him off me. I laugh at his silliness, knowing that this is the best way someone like him can show affection. He lets his guard down so rarely after all, doesn't even want to show softness, ever. Only with me he does. He can be mellow, can't express it in words easily though.

"Tsk, I don't want to go to the stupid party with all the stupid bastards", he growls while finally making himself comfortable without hurting me.

"You promised! Besides, everyone's waiting for you", I run my fingers through his hair, "You know how much Kirishima has been waiting to see you!" I could tell by his look at this was somehow enough for him to accept attending the party with me. All his UA classmates would be there.

"Whatever! I have to train." In a swift move he gets up and leaves the room, like he always does.

"Bakugo--! Wait!" he stops without turning to look at me. "D-Do you wanna spend the night?" I gulped.

"I have to train", he says and leaves.

And at times like these, I ask myself, what the hell am I really doing. Having a crush on Bakugo Katsuki? That's far enough. Establishing a relationship with him? That's so far beyond the line of sanity. More times than not, I question myself for any signs of emotional masochism, because this really doesn't feel like a mutual feeling. Yes, he can be soft and sweet, would never admit it, though. Yes, somehow, he does like me in a sexual way, at least, or maybe considers me as a way to relieve stress? The past three months and a half have been so exciting, and I've been.. happy. But..

This really isn't enough for me. If only I could do anything to make him say what's in his mind, 'cause his actions really really don't match with his words. And then again, well, whatever, never mind, it could all be way worse for me..

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

On the day of the party, Bakugo was supposed to pick me up at 8 and head over to Kirishima's together, since I've never been to his place before. I put extra effort on picking an outfit I like and felt pretty cute and confident in it. At 7:45 I was already by the door, tying my shoes and receiving a text message by Uraraka-chan.

[19:45] From: Uraraka-chan<3 I can't wait for tonight! Deku-kun will also be there, haven't seen him in two weeks! Don't be late Y/N :D

I smiled at myself and happiness overflew in me. Don't want to jinx it but tonight sounds ideal; Bakugo agreed to come, I'm going to see everyone, even Midoriya found time off his strict training schedule, and Uraraka-chan is very happy, as well, I am glad.

But as I waited for Bakugo, the clock turned 8. And then 5 minutes after 8. And then a quarter past 8.

Normally, that's acceptable, since when one is late, they probably have informed you beforehand. Or at least, an apology is waiting for you at their arrival. Oh, but when Bakugo arrived..

"What took you so long?!!" My mood, the outfit I wore that I liked, the excitement, all had disappeared.

"SO WHAT, I had training to do! Deku has been training all week!", he snapped back at me and frowned. "Let's go damn it!"

"You're unbelievable-! That's how you treat me?!" This time, I was not going to take it.

"Tsk, you don't understand"

"At least you could have told me you were at practice..! Not arrive, what, a quarter to 9 and not even apologizing for keeping me waiting?!"

"YOU attacked me right when I arrived, when I would I apologize?!"

I refrained from saying anything else. I didn't want to completely ruin my mood for the party.

"Okay, stop." I let out a sigh. "Let's go. I really want to enjoy the party. I even wore that outfit that it took me so long to come up with, I really wanna enjoy it.." I closed and locked the door behind us and Bakugo just stared at me.

The road to Kirishima's was quiet. I caught a few glimpses of Bakugo walking by me and leading the way. Surprisingly, he didn't say anything at all. We passed by the river, it was beautiful and I so wanted to comment on the cherry blossoms showing as the path alongside it.

I tried not to overthink about this but it was bothering me, that Bakugo didn't even consider my feelings. He stood me up. This definitely isn't what you expect of your partner to do. Details like this, how he never calls me just to talk to me, he never texts me "good morning" or "good night" like my friends' significant others do, how we've never really agreed to have a proper date but always meet up at home, eat inside and are secretive, I don't like that. I think I am the only one in this relationship.

Heck, there is no real relationship. Friends with benefits, after all.

"(Y/N)! Bakugo-kun! You've arrived at last!" Uraraka-chan was the first one to greet us by the door.

"I'm sorry we're late, I asked Bakugo to pick me up since he lives so close-by, but he was training and couldn't leave early", I felt my cheeks flush up. Everyone's attention was on us and I didn't like it. "Besides, Kirishima-kun! Thanks for having us!"

Thankfully, I quickly felt comfortable and no one talked about how they've been waiting for us. We had a fun time, joking around, eating cakes that Sato baked and listening to what everyone's been up to on their vacation. I was able to forget about Bakugo's attitude, but every time I looked at him, it all came back to me, so I tried to avoid him as much. But still, I was able to catch glimpses of him, noticing that he never looked at me too. I am better than this.

I got up to pout myself some water and when I came back I noticed that Deku had joined Uraraka and they were cheerfully engaging in conversation by themselves, so I decided I wouldn't go back to Uraraka and third wheel them. Instead I decided to get some fresh air and went outside. The cold wind felt so nice on my face but I could tell I'd soon be cold enough to return inside.

"Y/N!", I didn't even hear Kirishima opening the balcony's door.

"Kirishima-kun, are you having fun?"

"For sure! I'm glad you could bring Bakugo with you. Wasn't really sure he'd come, since he's been eager to train as much as he can during the vacation time, but maybe having to accompany you made him responsible to come" Kirishima smiled and he'd never looked so innocent to me before.

"Ah, I just guess he came for you Kirishima-kun. You're his best friend after all."

We laughed and I suddenly felt really soft and comfortable talking about Bakugo with him.

"Kirishima-kun, you're great.. I wish I had a relationship with someone like you!"

And then I realized what I just said. Kirishima turned red and I no longer felt cold outside.

"Y/N, I-I don't think I like you like t-that.."

"Ah! No, it's okay, I don't think I do either.."

What am I saying, I know I like Bakugo.

I know he said he didn't like me but the vibe sure felt weird and tense and somehow comfortable. I could so simply say things like these with Kirishima and it did feel awkward but it was okay, we could sit in silence. And it was easier to stay outside now.

But then he called out my name, and I couldn't read his face. He surely thought that I might like him now. I noticed Bakugo was arguing with Iida-kun by the door, when Kirishima raised his hand to cup my cheek and-

"Can I kiss you?" he whispered.

Why am I not pulling back? Maybe he wants to find out if he'd feel something.. maybe I do as well. Bakugo wouldn't even care anyways. He wouldn't be the least jealous if he saw us.

"Yes", I whispered back and closed my eyes only to feel his soft lips on mine.

It lasted a few seconds but I knew for sure that this wasn't what I felt when I kissed Bakugo. Kirishima was now smiling softly as me and I knew we were on the same page. And this will be between us and nothing will be affected. Except that something caught his attention and he gasped ; I turned to see who else other than Bakugo staring at us.

He looked mad, but doesn't he almost always?

Suddenly I felt overwhelmed with regret towards him.

He wasn't supposed to get jealous, he has no right to!

"Ah, Bakugo saw us maybe", Kirishima shrugged, "He probably thinks we're stupid hahah"

I chuckled, not to make my uncomfortableness look so obvious and we headed back inside, since Bakugo had also disappeared from the entrance.

The rest of the night I felt so out of place and it was hard not to show, but I had to. Spent it mostly chatting with the girls and playing cards and board games.

But soon enough, it was time to go.

Midoriya had already left and so had some of the others that aren't late nighters, and I felt tired from all the tension of the day. I was glad that I had some fun though.

"I'm off, everyone!" I greeted them and put on my shoes and coat.

"I'm going to. Have to train early tomorrow"

I froze. Bakugo was also leaving and this could only mean he wanted to confront me.

I waited for him to be greeted by everyone as well. It was inevitable, we'd go the same way anyways.

But Bakugo didn't say anything. He started pacing fast and it was kind of hard to keep up.

When we reached the cherry blossoms, Bakugo stopped.

"Are you stupid? Why did you do that?!"

He was indeed jealous!

"What does it matter to you even!". Tears were forming in my eyes, I felt so guilty! But it wasn't entirely my fault!

"TO ME? That you're stupid?"

"What does it matter to you??! It didn't even matter to me!"

"Then WHY DID YOU DO THAT"

Bakugo turned around but he wasn't looking at me.

"..I.. don't know... I was curious.. "

"Tsk, 'curious', what even..!"

"I was, okay?! Kirishima was being so nice to me..."

"And you had to be stupid?!"

"STOP it! Okay? This, this is why I did that. Because I can no longer pretend that you care about me! You made that clear today!"

"I don't go around doing things a scumbag would do!"

Bakugo was starting to redden up, he had become really angry..

"BUT YOU DO!" I shouted, glad that we were the only ones on the street. "You do, when you're late and don't inform me, you do when you're embarrassed and secretive of me, you do when you never really tell me what's on your mind"

"You.." he frowned. "And YOU GO AND DO THAT"

"YES because MAYBE, MAYBE HE would actually LIKE me!"

He seemed to be taken aback. And I was properly crying. And I felt the cold wind against my face and hands. It was too bad we're ruining the effect of the beautiful cherry blossoms.

"Stupid.. STUPID STUPID STUPID", he was now pulling his hair in anger.

"Bakugo, stop! What are you doing!" I rushed out and grabbed him by his shoulders forcing him to look at me. And I felt guilty and sad to see him this angry but this had to mean something.

He looked away, avoiding my gaze at all costs.

"I should be asking you why are you being like this now..", I said softly. "It.. hurts to think about this, but did it feel like you were losing towards Kirishima?"

No answer.

"I'm sorry anyways, I am too tired to argue anymore and I'm sorry I kissed him. I.. didn't think it'd make you angry"

"Tsk, what are you apologizing for, loser.."

Bakugo's voice was soft and quiet..!

"I should be the one saying sorry. I FAILED don't you understand? I didn't make my feelings clear to you"

What?

"All this time, I've been failing to this, I don't no a thing about romance"

What?

"And you never even said anything, either! You just went along when I first kissed you!"

I had nothing to say. Suddenly, everything seemed so meaningless, because he was opening up to me.

"Bakugo.."

"No, shut up, you listen to me now. It drives me crazy cause I can't concentrate and think about you all the time! I LIKE YOUR STUPID ASS"

This can't be for real. I've always wanted him to open up but I never..

"SAY SOMETHING"

"Can you.. say that again?", I was too startled.

"Weren't you listening?!"

"No, I was, it's just that I liked hearing you say that.."

I'd forgotten I'd been holding him weirdly and suddenly felt conscious about being so close to him, when I've been closer to him so many times before, but not like this.

"Tsk, I like you stupid ass, stupid", he frowned jokingly and it was his turn to wrap his arms around me. "I like your stupid stupid ass."

My cheeks have probably never flushed as this much before.

"I like you"

He kept repeating and I felt like I could faint.

"And I promise, I won't ignore my feelings anymore and I won't be USELESS!"

I backed away to look at him.

"Bakugo,.. does this mean, we're really together?"

And Bakugo blushed!

"Yeh" he simply said.

I couldn't help but smile and the cherry blossoms were beautiful around us.

Then, Bakugo tightened his grip on my waist and brought me closer. He kissed my cheek and looked at me again. And I couldn't decide over staring at his eyes or kissing him that moment.

But I couldn't bring myself to stop, I leaned forwards and felt his soft pouty lips against mine, his warmth transmitting to my skin. And we didn't pull back for a few moments.

"Do you want to stay over, Bakugo?"

And he nodded excitedly as we walked home together.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ