#But we haven't even really met in person yet so it definitely doesn't count

[jeromesmith]

Found family?.....

I- Well. The only family we have right now is me, Magnus, our two cats, Gravy and Biscuit, and possibly this girl we have been taking care of lately named Stella. No others.

[godfrey-the-chaos-duck]

Things The Good Omens Fandom Has Collectively Decided Upon And I Love With Whatever The Hell Is Left Of My Soul

I do, however, have notes at the bottom.

Crowley's middle name is Janthony. †

Aziraphale's pyjamas are thus: light blue, either collar pyjamas or a nightshirt, fluffy slippers, and DEFINITELY a nightcap.

Gabriel is an Asshole™.

Muriel is a wholesome baby. (we haven't even MET them yet and we love them!)

Aziraphale and Crowley are just Together. It doesn't matter what your idea of their relationship is - they can be best friends, in love, in a queerplatonic relationship, married - but they are Together, and that's what counts. Also I love how there is basically ZERO shipping discourse in this fandom (that I know of, and I don't want to ever see it if there is).

And we have a whole LIST of names for the failed apocalypse. ‡

† Here is my opinion on the Crowley's Full Name Thing (a lot of these are my own suggestions)

Tired: Anthony J. Crowley

Wired: Anthony Janthony Crowley

Inspired: Anthony Jay Crowley (he does say "just a j, so maybe he meant it this way?)

Desired: Anthony Jupiter Crowley (because he helped make SPACE)

The Person Who Wrote This Ought To Be Fired: Anthony Just-A-J-Really Crowley. (I'm the one who came up with this and I am so sorry. I'll see my sorry self out.)

‡ These are a few of my favourites (including my own ones), feel free to add more if you wish!

Armageddoff

Apocalypse No

Ragna-right-okay-never-mind

The Apoca-nope

Armageddon't

The Not-Pocalypse

Arma-get-on-with-it

The Apocaflop

Arma-didn't-happen

The Sikepocalypse

And finally, for your pleasure...

The Little Rapture That Couldn't.

Thank you and goodnight! (walks out of the room backwards, bangs into doorframe before continuing like nothing happened)

[scarasimping]

But have we talked about Pirate! Scara angst?

He knows he’s a pirate and he steals and gets in trouble but it doesn’t you from loving him, he’ll distance himself not wanting you to get hurt, if he got caught stealing something of value you would run after him and the guards, you know when they lost him were he would be and when you find him…

Insert fluff

note before you start!: I haven't mentioned it in anything yet, but in my mind the princess is under strict watch, so it's almost impossible for her to leave the castle and see scara....almost. I'm also trying to stick closer to the plot I have in mind for pirate scara and the princess’s story, so it's a little different than the request. hopefully it all makes sense.

also i was listening to work song by hozier while writing this i think its fitting for how scara feels about the princess.

word count: 1.85k

Pirate! Scara believes wholeheartedly that he does not deserve you. He's a liar and a thief; he can't wash away the blood on his hands from all of the battles he fought, where someone had to die and he couldn't let it be him.

Yet, these same hands are the ones you hold so gently, the ones that you bring to cup your own face and kiss the palm of. He feels as though being with him is going to stain your perfect and gentle soul, that he's smearing the blood he's taken onto you while you just smile so beautifully and tell him how much you love him.

He doesn't even notice he's begun to distance himself from you; it happened instinctively. His nightly visits soon turned to every other night, to once a week, until he stopped showing up all together. 

It wasn't like you could ask someone to check up on him, or else that would give away all the rendezvous you were having, so you really had no idea why he stopped coming to see you. All you know is that in his more recent visits before he disappeared, he seemed so much more...sad. He clung to you tighter, his voice cracked like he was going to cry, but the tears never fell, and his responses were much more vague, whereas before he would tell you all sorts of stories in great detail about his adventures on the open sea.

For a while, you thought he left your kingdom all together, without even saying goodbye. That soon proved to be false, however, when you overheard some guards talk about how they heard someone sneak into the people’s bank on the far side of your kingdom, and how they almost caught him, but were a few seconds too late. 

So, not only was he ignoring you, he was getting sloppy with his work, meaning something had  to be wrong with him, and you were determined to find out what. 

When the moon rises the following night, and the kingdom is asleep, you put your plan into action. Waiting until just after a set of footsteps passes your door, since there’s usually a large gap of time between each person passing, you step out onto the terrace and start climbing down the same way you had watched your lover do many times before. It definitely took a lot longer than he would take, too scared of falling and getting gravely injured to go any faster, but eventually you made it to the cold, grassy ground underneath. Pulling the hood of your cloak over your head, you made a break for the treeline that separated the castle from the ocean. After a short run through the miniature forest, the sound of waves crashing against the rocks and sand reaches your ears, soon followed by the ocean coming into view. Though there were many ships at the pier, it was easy to tell which one was Scaramouche’s, his being the only pirate ship in a swarm of those meant for business only. 

The crew members on night watch easily picked up your presence as you approached, as any cloaked figure nearing the ship would be suspicious and hard to miss. Though you hadn’t met most of them before, you could tell the man staring down at you from the edge of the ship was Xiao. Scaramouche had described him before, and said he was the only crew member with tattoos.

He was observant and knew who you were as well, staring down at you with an unblinking and piercing glare.

“I know why you’re here, but if I let you on, you won’t like what you’ll see,” he warned, and a loud thud coming from the ship drew your attention away from his face. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that it was Scaramouche making that noise.

You look back at Xiao with a determination on your face, your own glare matching his own. He sighs, turning his back to you and lowering the gangway for you to climb on. Walking on the ship without Scaramouche right next to you is definitely a  different experience, and one you are not happy about. 

Xiao watches as you approach the captain’s cabin, before walking away, not wanting to invade at a moment that should be private.

The thudding you heard earlier only gets louder as you approach the door to Scaramouche’s quarters. You knock softly, barely audible, and there’s no answer, so you assume he didn’t hear you.

You’re cautious as you open the door, peeking your head inside. Scaramouche is there, standing over his desk with his hands gripping the wood so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. Crumbled pieces of paper were scattered across the floor, his bottle of ink thrown across the room as well as his hat. Everything was shoved off of his desk as well, as if knocked off in one fell swoop, and many other things were thrown around in anger, making a mess of his usually neat room.

“Did I say you could come in?” Scaramouche seethes, looking up with such fury in his eyes, it had you scared. He didn’t seem to realize it was you until after he said those words with such a bitter tone. When his eyes lay on you, they soften just a bit and a look of regret washes over him. He never wanted you to see this side of him - the angry and harsh side he only showed to his enemies or his crew when he was really upset.

“You..” he starts, sighing and dropping his head to avoid looking at your fear-stricken face. “What are you doing here?”

“Did you really think you could disappear and I wouldn’t notice?” You responded, shifting awkwardly where you stood, still behind the door. 

“Can I…come in?” 

Scaramouche runs a hand down his face, shaking his head at his own foolishness. It was clear you were trying your best not to upset him more, and that only made him feel worse.

“Yes, yes, of course, get in here.”

At his words, you cautiously step inside his room, closing the door behind you softly. Still, you were barely inside, hanging by the door and attempting not to overstep. Scaramouche sighs once more,  moving away from his desk and sitting down on his bed, head in his hands. “Sit.”

Though it’s true he was a man of few words, how little he was saying made you anxious. You sat down on the bed, keeping a few feet of space between your bodies.

“So what happened, dearest?” You asked him, breaking the silence that had grown between you.

“Nothing, I was just writing, that’s all.”

“Just writing?” You looked at him incredulously, glancing at all of the papers and the ink bottle spilling on the floor. “What were you writing that could have possibly made you so angry?”

“It’s not necessarily what I was writing, more so that I couldn’t explain everything the way I wanted to,” he responded, and true to his deceptive nature, you could tell he was only telling half-truths. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole story.

“I’m sure it’s not so bad, let me see,” you say, leaning down and picking up a crumpled paper from the floorboards, unraveling it in your hands.

“No! Don’t read that!”

Scaramouche snatches the paper from your fingertips, but it was too late. You had already seen the most important part.

“You were going to leave? And you were going to tell me through some letter instead of coming to see me?”

Scaramouche sits in silence, tonguing his cheek as he looks away from you, crushing the paper once more in his hands. It took him a while to form words, and for a second you thought he simply wasn’t going to answer. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath before, finally, he speaks.

“It’s for the best…that way you can finally marry someone like your father wants who would treat you way better than I.” Again, he doesn’t say the whole truth, but growing up with a dismissive father and a mother who never spoke up, you have learned to read between the lines.

“You don’t think you’re enough for me, do you? Is that what this is?” 

His silence answers your question for you, and the fact that he couldn’t face you only enforced that fact. You scoot closer to him, closing the distance that separated you two. One of your hands rests on his shoulder while the other cups his cheek, turning his head to look at you. His face was tinted red and tears welled in his eyes. You decide not to point that out though, as to not ruin how far you had gotten to being able to comfort him. When it came to emotions, Scaramouche was difficult, to say the least, so the fact that he was almost crying around you was a big step.

“I don’t want some pompous prince or a rich man’s son; I want you.”

He simply clicks his tongue at this, rolling his eyes. He takes hold of the hand that holds his face and removes it, simply planning to let go afterwards, but you intertwine your fingers instead. When comforting a man that’s as emotionally constipated as Scaramouche is, persistence is key after all.

“Dearest, if you weren’t enough for me, I wouldn’t be with you despite the universe being against us or sneaking out of the castle to come see you. I only want you, so stop being an idiot and avoiding me!” You tried to reason with him.

He simply drops his head once more, and you lean your forehead against his. He bites his lip, holding back a smile as you insult him in this situation.“Alright, I get it, now drop it please.” 

A small chuckle escapes you, and once again you hold his cheek in your hand. His eyes look up, meeting your own, and you can see the relief flooding through him.

“Are you still going to leave?” You whisper, and Scaramouche shakes his head.

“Not yet, though you know I will have to eventually? A man like me can’t stay in one place for long.”

“We’ll figure that out when the time comes, but for now, can I stay with you?”

Scaramouche doesn’t answer; he simply leans forward and presses his lips against your own. The hand that holds onto yours tightens as he pulls you even closer, turning his body to face you even more. His other hand holds onto your waist, thumb caressing you over your shirt. He’s smiling as he kisses you, each movement filled with more and more longing than the last. Even without words being spoken, you can feel how much he’s missed you these past couple of weeks. He’ll allow himself to taint you with his hands that have committed countless sins just this once, and be selfish with you, because who knows how long it will be until his hands can’t hold you anymore. 

[tonyglowheart]

"Does Shen Qiao even like Yan Wushi?"

I feel like it may be relatively easy for people to pick out "what does Yan Wushi like about Shen Qiao / what does YWS get out of yanshen." but I think a criticism/line of thought I see around is people struggling with "well what does Shen Qiao get out of all of this?" and like, "does SQ even like YWS, what with how YWS annoys him and gets him angry all the time."

But I think that actually is the crux of their relationship, lol. Because if you think about it, to everyone else, Shen Qiao is this lofty ideal, this untouchable immortal/仙, maybe even this obstacle or goal to conquer or shoot down.

Who else treats him casually and teases him and pokes at him to get emotional reactions out of him because they like that about him?

If he wants to seek people who treat him with respect and reverence, he just has to step out into the city square - hell, he just has to travel out and random people he meets are likely to treat him with that sort of dazzled awe or reverence too (we literally see this happen several times in the course of the novel).

So yeah, I think joking not joking, YWS makes him angry and feel Emotions and he likes that, YWS is enrichment for him, YWS pushes his buttons and his boundaries but reframing that it's pushing him out of his comfort zone and like hardening him off to the elements and realities of the world like a gardener with plants out of the greenhouse. But also, YWS treats him like a person, like a man, and not like Shen-daozun, Shen-daozhang, Shen-zhangjiao. To Yan Wushi, Shen Qiao is Shen Qiao. (and he loves to tease the shit out of him hehe (￣▽￣) )

CONVERSELY! This also gives Shen Qiao a space to *be* Shen Qiao. With Yan Wushi, he does not have to be Shen-daozun, Shen-daozhang, Shen-zhangjiao. He does not have to always be magnanimous and generous and a bastion of righteousness. These are in his nature, yet, but it's not ALL of his nature - he is, after all, still a man, a human, with human emotions -- including the full breadth of human emotions. Yes Yan Wushi annoys him and he shows it, but it's specifically BECAUSE of that that they are closer than him and anyone else in the world. He can "be himself" around Yan Wushi, he can get worked up and be petty and be snippy, and it's fine and won't cause catastrophes or undesired splashdown sociopolitical effects.

But also, he (lets himself?) get worked up by Yan Wushi - they HAVE that level of intimate understanding with each other where they can be like this and not have feelings hurt in any irreparable way. This isn't something that SQ does (lets himself do?) with just anyone, which we see throughout the novel reflected in his internal narration and comportment. So really, the fact that he DOES get annoyed with YWS shows that they are on a different, more "real" level with each other than SQ is with anyone else.

And like, they didn't get there in a day, sure, but imo we definitely see through the novel how they get there, so imo, the yanshen relationship is incredibly justified.

(I also say this bc I think literally every "I've connected the two dots" moments I've had in my reread, I would metaphorically flip the page only to be met with that connection I'd made spelled out on the page by MXS lmao. Like... yeah okay MXS *shakes your hand* you know your stuff. oh and also because I do think there may be some level of skepticism about yanshen esp from SQ's side floating around lol, but like... MXS did the legwork! yes chapter 45 happened, yes YWS never "apologizes" with words, but that doesn't mean that they don't share a deep mutual understanding of themselves and each other by the end, nor that they haven't moved past the events of literally 83 chapters ago, 96 if you count the extras -- a whole literal two-thirds of the novel ago. Like, I know we piss on the poor here and many educational systems around the world are in shambles these days, but work on developing reading comprehension skills, pls :') )

(lmao rip this post got long AGAIN. well, hopefully at least some people are reading all of this lol.)

[taruruchi]

I just finished the archon quest.. and.. UHUUUUUUUU WHYYYYYY 😭😭😭

Warning: Long post ahead. Sorry ^^"

Tbh, I wasn't that fond of Furina when I first met her in game. I guess she was an okay character for me? Though her personality was.. interesting to say XD Though I didn't like Fontaine's culture of making a trial look like a show because.. well, being in trial at a court is a serious thing.

Anyways, further along the story, a part of me did think Furina was possibly pretending, but I couldn't of a reason why. I also thought that maybe Neuvi was the real Hydro Archon? But then we find out the truth and... Gosh. 500 years of having to pretend. I feel that. I feel for Furina. Furina the human. And for Focalors the divine to sacrifice herself, and ohmygosh. Her message for Furina before she vanished. To live her life. UHUUUUU I CRY. THE PAIN. THE SORROW. UHUUUUU 😭😭

And after finishing the Finale, I don't know where she is. Like, is she okay? What will she do now? Will she return to Fontaine? I haven't started her companion mission yet. Will probably find out soon but it still makes me think. SHE NEEDS A HUG!! TT

Also, I thought the big fight would be.. well, bigger. I feel like the fight was too short for me XD And I need to know what happened to Childe while he was in there!! I want to see it with my own eyes!!! And why did he leave so soon after the battle TT (I missed Childe huhu)

Hmmmmm.. let's see, what else.. I feel like my mind is overloaded with information. I'm thinking about a lot...

Does it mean that Fontaine doesn't have an Archon anymore? Why does Sigewinne look more human than her fellow melusines? And that thing with the Gnosis being "remains of the Third Descender"?

...I'll be reading some lore. But maybe not now. Again, the story leaves me with more questions than answers XD

God bless the archon quest was a RIDE. And don't worry about it being long, I will talk about fontaine ANY day

I get how you feel. Especially the law part because I've always had an interest in it and know a bit about it sjdnkfks Their legal system is definitely weird, from the way they treat their trials to the laws themselves. Which leads me to realize this really is the tarucore nation because it's the land of justice and I personally think they should let me be a judge or something /j

(More under the cut bc it's getting long!)

THAT PART IS THE PART THAT MADE ME CRY. She did it for so long and for others' sake, even in the moment where he wanted to badly to share to the traveler SHE STILL PICKED THE PEOPLE OF FONTAINE OVER HERSELF 😭😭😭 I love all the fontaine characters dearly, hoyoverse did well with this region

Now that you mention it, maybe it was a bit shorter than one would expect? Raiden's DEFINITELY felt longer and so did Scaramouche's. But the Furina's whole story distracted me from that fact, so I don't have much of a problem with it. I still don't really get why Skirk had to appear though? But maybe we're getting closer to more stuff about Celestia and stuff 👁️👁️ I'm curious what was going on with Childe though. What did the guy do in there.

Focalors is dead + Furina is fully human now without a curse and she's not presenting herself as the archon, so I guess they don't have one? But Neuvillette has the archon's power so?? I guess this means he'll also be the one handing out visions? Eh idk I don't wanna think about it or else my brain will explode jsmdkfks

I'M CURIOUS WHY SIGEWINNE LOOKS MORE HUMAN TOO. She says she's a melusine and she does act similar, but she doesn't look it? Maybe hoyoverse just wanted to make a playable melusine but needed her to look more appealing to players 😔

I'M ALSO CURIOUS ABOUT THE DESCENDER STUFF!!! I'll admit, I didn't pay attention to the sumeru quests after the dream loop thing, so idk the other context sondkfkdf but it means there were other "travelers", right? 🤔🤔 But my brother told me that the other sibling doesn't count as a descender so...??

YEAH I'M JUST. I DON'T FEEL VERY SATISFIED. Maybe because I don't want to leave fontaine too but it felt so short 😭 And it actually IS shorter than Sumeru's. I'm hoping there's still a biiit more, I'm not ready for fontaine's stories to end :(

[thezolblade]

If Martin asked Jon why he likes him, what qualities does Jon see in him, what would Jon say? (And what does Jon actually think)

This prompted a lot of thoughts, and some of them crystallised into this. (It'll probably be used in one of the next few parts of Reconciliation, depending on how that shapes up.) There's definitely a big discrepancy between what Jon thinks and says. And between how he feels, and what he lets himself think. This isn't a complete answer, but I hope it's enough to sink your teeth into for one post.

---

Jon considered the question for a while, leaning against the kitchen counter. "...I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Martin asked, hearing his voice turn tight with stress. 

Jon at least had the decency to look uncomfortable. "Well, you've put me on the spot here. It's like those interview questions that ask for your five greatest strengths and weaknesses. Unless I've prepared an answer in advance, my mind goes blank. Isn't it enough to say that there's something worth exploring between us, even if we haven't gotten our heads around it yet?"

"Yeah, that's fair." Martin tried to suppress his disappointment.

Jon stepped closer. "You look like you have more to say."

"No, you're right."

"And yet you're still pouting." Jon reached out to stroke his face.

"Sorry." Martin looked away, but Jon tilted his chin back up and waited until he met his gaze.

"I want to know what you're thinking, even if you already know that you're wrong."

Fucking hell, how did he say things like that with a straight face? Martin took a step back, and tried to find the words.

"It's just... You really can't think of a single thing you like about me? I can usually tell when people are into me, even if it's just superficial attraction. I know I'm not everyone's type, but I am some people's type, and I've gotten compliments about being tall, and having a nice smile, that sort of thing. Are you saying you don't even like the way I look?"

"Of course I do, but that doesn't count. You asked me about your personal qualities, so I assumed we were talking about your personality."

Martin blinked, and tried not to react. Why had he opened his mouth in the first place? He should have taken 'I don't know' as an answer.

Jon seemed to read something alarming from his expression, as he rushed to explain himself. "Lately, I've gotten the feeling that I don't understand you as well as I ought to. And that's incredibly frustrating."

"Oh. Really?" Martin wasn't sure what to make of that.

"Maybe it doesn't make sense to call you an enigma, considering how often you seem flustered and keen to please. Honestly, that sort of behaviour is quite appealing. I'd be able to call it cute without a downside if we didn't work together, and I wasn't relying on you for results. But there are times when your actions don't seem to add up, and I can only conclude that you've been careless when you should have known better, even though you gave every appearance of making an effort. Sometimes I can't help but wonder whether you're being deliberately obtuse. I can't stand that kind of bad attitude. Lately I've been more inclined to believe that there are other explanations. It's perfectly understandable that you're preoccupied, what with everything that's going on. If you really are doing your best, then I - I want to do more to look after you, even if I find it hard to trust that you're being genuine."

"Jon... I wish I knew what to say."

"I've been told that I can get overly paranoid under stress. When I'm not sure what to think, I often fall back on talking about work, to avoid making things weird. Though that didn't quite work out for us... Now that we're on more familiar terms, I hope we can move past our doubts. I want to know everything there is to know about you."

Well, fuck. If Martin said that he'd always been completely genuine and that Jon was clearly struggling with paranoia, and then his CV fraud came to light someday... Until now, he'd been able to tell himself that it was a victimless crime, but if he carried on lying after Jon had opened up about his issues, then he'd be gaslighting his lover. Or close enough that his intentions wouldn't make much difference.

"That's, uh... Thank you for telling me all of this," Martin replied, trying to smile despite the fresh serving of guilt weighing him down. "I... There are things that I don't tend to talk about at work, since it isn't the time or the place. I guess I do get preoccupied, even if I don't vent about everything that's on my mind. I don't think I can fit my life story into one conversation, and I'd still like to focus on having a nice time tonight. We can take our time getting to know each other, can't we?"

"Alright." Jon stepped closer, a strange look in his eyes.

Martin held his breath as Jon leaned in and kissed him, soft and sweet. As their lips parted, Jon's hands landed on his waist. He pushed Martin into stepping backwards until he was pressed against the wall.

"Wh-what did you want to...?" Martin loosely wrapped his arms around Jon's back, unsure what exactly had brought this on.

Jon kissed his cheek, then replied in a clear attempt at a seductive purr. "Let's have a nice time."

"Okay...?" Martin found himself smiling at the surprisingly sweet non-answer.

"I did say we'd do things your way tonight."

[s-el-fships]

1, 2, and 4 for whichever s/i you feel like, I can’t find your list at the moment!

i'll respond for my genshin s/i, since i'm working on something with her right now!

you can find my list of f/os here by the way! i haven't made a page for my s/is yet but i may do that!

What is your s/i's name & pronouns?

el imunlaukr! she/her or they/them.

2. How similar is your s/i to you? Are they a carbon copy, completely different or a mix of the two?

not quite a carbon copy, but her life story is fairly similar to mine. i even chose imunlaukr for rather personal reasons-- i'm not sure if when we get the lore for the imulaukr clan that that parallel will remain, but it means something to me and that's what's important i think!

of course her story diverges from my own life at some point, but her childhood/teenage years/some early adulthood all have direct parallels to my experiences.

i'm not sure i'm supposed to infodump about her story here, but a couple of quick facts for you!

she's from mondstadt of course!

however her vision was gained while she was studying in inazuma (i'm considering changing this one, but i think it's a difference from my own life that i'd not mind changing lmao)

she's a cryo sword user!

she learned to fight in a liyue style.

catgirl. nya

i didn't mean to do a lot with her outside of just. yay self-shipping! but now i've got a whole story going in my brain lmao. so i might write it out!

4. How did your s/i feel when they first met your f/o(s)? How do they feel about them now?

❄️ eula: at first she wasn't entirely sure what to think of eula. there was a general disdain when they first met, as of course el knew the stories of the lawrence clan (and eula likely took el's introduction as an imunlaukr as a bit of a rude gesture), but after a few run-ins they got to talking more and getting to know one another better. namely, eula tended to show up at good hunter around the same time as el, so they'd chat in line and eventually started eating lunch together. she really treasured that time since she didn't really have many friends either... but over time those feelings blossomed into something other than friendship. they frequently write to one another and send small gifts in the mail. eula doesn't usually go far from mondstadt, so el makes it her goal to find strange and fun souvenirs that suit her wherever she winds up. whenever they're together el can always count on a delicious dinner, and eula can look forward to a listening ear and a warm catgirl to cuddle!

🧪 dottore: enemies to lovers speedrun (actually writing an au for this now!). el didn't trust him (the proper response, probably), but he had become rather fascinated with her for one reason or another-- a chance run-in with one of his segments, most likely. oddly enough, both of them were rather upset with how the other made them feel-- for el, because she was upset about being attracted to... y'know, (gestures to the whole man). he of course was annoyed that she was making him feel something he couldn't quite identify. and so he set on a quest to find the answer, as he usually does. at this time, he's definitely not reformed and still largely acts in his own self-interest, but el at least acts as something of a morality chain. he doesn't want her to cry, so better not do anything too awful. on the other hand, el has become a bit more relaxed with her own ideals, though this wouldn't be a full on corruption arc lmao. ultimately, he cares about her in his own way, even if it took him a while to understand it and for her to accept it. she can't help but feel the same way.

🔥enjou: i haven't thought as much about this one since i have an oc/canon ship with him. this one's mostly just "i am attracted to this man and would like to kiss him"! sorry! i can talk about the oc/canon ship a bit, though. my oc was in the abyss order with him, but after some time she began to start questioning their mission, and after a time made a break with the organization. they remained friends, and had a bit of a saucy friends with benefits situation. for fun. spicy. following the enkanomiya storyline he sets up a base in the library there and things become official between them. she likes having a quiet place to rest and he just likes having her around. neither of them try to convince the other of their causes, it's just... a sense of caring and a bond between them. there's a third option somewhere they're looking for.

🔶zhongli: while el was in liyue harbor for the first time, she caught a glance of the unfairly handsome consultant for wangsheng funeral parlor in the market, where she witnessed the extremely relatable moment of him realizing he didn't have enough money to pay for the things he'd wanted to purchase. while she didn't have enough either, she did offer to buy a couple of things off his list, and so of course he wanted to repay her that money (that he didn't have). she thought it was kinda weird that he was so concerned with paying her back, but given liyue is the land of contracts she assumed he was just particularly devoted to the nation's way of life. i can't decide if she knows his secret or not, though i'm leaning towards whichever is funnier honestly.

[jodilin65]

I was reading about how easy it is to meet people online these days compared to when I was young. I've often wished it had been this easy to meet other women back then, but at the same time, I'm glad it wasn't. Otherwise, I might never have met Tom. I know some people believe you're either gay or straight, but I don't think it's that black and white. Many have questioned how I could like a guy when I've been attracted to many women in my life. It's kind of like this: say your favorite color is red, and you're looking for a red dress. You find five that are appealing, but then you see a couple of green dresses, and one of those has everything you want, from style to price to comfort. Tom was that unique green dress. That's the best way I can explain it to anyone who doesn't have common sense. ;) I’ve been attracted to dozens of women in my life, but none of them have compared to Tom, especially in personality.

Speaking of hubs, I was a little annoyed last night because I lost a few hours of alone time when I had plans to do certain things I do better by myself. One of us with a wacky schedule is bad enough. However, the day he gives plasma tends to drain him, and he fell asleep early and woke up early. It turned out okay, though, because we had fun golfing, and then he went down for a nap for a few hours.

Some of the tiny houses I've seen pictures of that are right on the ocean are so cute. I joined a tiny house group on Facebook and even made a Pinterest board for them. I would never want to live in one unless I was single and didn't have much stuff, but they are adorable. The view is to die for no matter what you're living in. Anyway, maybe I will use Pinterest a little more often than I have been. I have nearly 23K pins!

I woke up super tired today because I woke up a few hours after crashing, needing to use the bathroom, and I couldn't get back to sleep for two hours. When I finally fell back asleep, I kept waking up. Then, I stupidly napped for a couple more hours. While this helped give me a little more energy, I've got to really try not to let my schedule jump ahead too much because I still have five days before my appointment, which is early in the morning.

For some reason, I thought I was having about 1600 calories a day. But for the last several days, I actually started counting them without limiting or changing how I eat, and I'm actually closer to 1100 to 1300. As a postmenopausal woman who no longer has the hunger of PMS or perimenopause, if I ate like this back when I had a normal thyroid/metabolism, I would definitely be skinny. In my 20s, I used to swear that all fat people stuffed themselves and anyone could lose weight. How I've learned my lesson!

I've been having tummy issues the last few days, and I'm wondering if I'm sensitive to Ezekiel bread. The research I just did suggests it certainly could be the cause.

At least I can still eat Chinese! I don't think I'll pick it up today, but I'm going to try a restaurant I picked out soon. I'm gonna start with their house platter and some beef fried rice.

I got my patchouli incense yesterday, along with the incense matches and my VR lenses. Not sure things are much clearer, though, because I swear the last eye doctor we saw gave me a bad prescription. I haven't used them enough yet to really make a judgment.

Leave it to Facebook to remove a post of mine from 2010. Really, guys, why now??? This was on my main account of course.

Finally, I came up with a good idea for the bedroom windows. They have these sticky foam tiles used for sound dampening. It's black foam and not a decorative textured vinyl tile with foam inside like what we're going to get for the walls. They're ugly, but the curtains would cover them. I decided we should put them on both the upper and lower panes of the back window and then stick them on the bottom pane of the front window. Then we'll take something with a little bit of flexibility so we can fit it in snugly yet remove it to open that window when we air the place out after bombing, and stick the tiles to that. Maybe a piece of cardboard just a little bigger than the pane or something like that.

[shxfting]

the royal "we" part 2

under the cut is mei's generation of the family!

caius, the future king.

fiadh and cassius' oldest. arguably the most responsible in his generation. but there was a phase where he was absolutely unhinged. there was a bit of a scare when he took things too far and it was enough to make him get his shit together. he takes his future seriously and spends a lot of his time soaking in as much knowledge as he can. he hopes he'll be the kind of king the people love more than they fear.

felix, the partier.

fiadh and cassius' second child. extremely close with cassia and is usually the one in possession of their shared brain cell. here for a good time and a long time, but never anything overly reckless or outright harmful. felix uses he/they pronouns and prefers to be referred to using gender neutral terms (ex: person over man).

cassia, the people's princess.

fiadh and cassius' third. extremely close with felix. she has ever thought a single thing she's done through once in her life. not malicious, but just doesn't really care. that being said, she's very charming and most of the court adores her. she's not as closed off as most of the family and even if she's not the most savvy, she tends to be able to read the court's mood better than the rest.

aeliana, the orphaned.

fiadh and cassius' youngest. she's adopted and biologically cassius' niece. her parents were murdered by her mom's jealous lover. it was...messy. and everyone decided it was better for to be raised away from their court. all things considered, she had a pretty decent childhood. she loves her siblings, even if they can stress her out. she's closest with caius. very apt at court politics so he runs a lot of ideas by her.

carys, the romantic.

saoirse and rhys' oldest (by about 2 minutes, but it still counts). emrys' twin sister. very bubbly, very open, very much a 'strangers are friends we haven't met yet' type of girl. sort of has her head in the clouds. down for a good bit of fun no matter what, but does not have a single mean bone in her body. the least cutthroat in the entire family.

emrys, the wanderer.

saoirse and rhys' youngest (according to carys). carys' twin brother. he's incredibly sweet, but he can't sit still. the fae world is a bit more risky, someone would definitely say something and he'd get busted for sneaking out, so he pops off to the human world any time he can feasibly get away. he doesn't tend to get close to mortals, he mostly likes to observe.

belle, the illegitimate.

tadhg's daughter. her parents used to rule a court but heard there was a coup coming. tadhg was a trusted friend so while they were on the run, they brought him their daughter. as far as she and most of the world know, she's tadhg's illegitimate daughter. she's a bit aloof and not always the best socially, but she would always help someone who needs it. she also has pretty strong magic that hasn't always been the easiest to control.

lorcan, the despondent.

eamon and flora's only child. his life was pretty perfect up when he was a kid. his parents were deliriously in love and doted on him, making sure he never wanted for anything. and then his mother got murdered. and his father couldn't cope. his aunts and uncles tried to fill the void, but he was young and grieving both parents in some ways. and then his father got remarried and had new children and he saw pieces of the father he remembered. things are better, but there's still a black hole of emotion he can't quite deal with.

líadan, the liar.

eamon and lin's oldest. as part of her parent's marriage arrangement, once she was a teenager she was sent to live with her mother's family. so she's not involved in the court and she doesn't come to visit. there's not much she misses, except maybe her father. but things were always weird for her in the court. the family knew she could lie since she wasn't full fae and it made hard for any of them to trust her. she gets it, but god it fucking sucked. at least where hse is now, they all accept her.

mei, the bold.

eamon and lin's youngest. mei is easily the most outgoing in her family. she has this natural energy about her and has so much love to give. down to do almost anything once. if there's a revel, she's there. but she also knows the importance of the royals and takes her role seriously when needed. probably the most adept at court politics outside caius and aeliana, which surprises a lot of people because it's not a skill she tends to flex.

[treadmilltreats]

Why do you think you're better than others?

So yesterday was Juneteenth, which is now a federal holiday in the United States. This date commemorates the emancipation of enslaved African Americans. Deriving its name from combining June and nineteenth, it is celebrated on the anniversary of the order by Major General Gordon Granger proclaiming freedom for enslaved people in Texas on June 19, 1865.

Now I know that there is still racism in this country, but I never realized it was this bad. Maybe because I am like Tinkerbell, and I have always just seen a person's heart. To me, if you are a good person, if you are kind, caring, and compassionate, that is what counts.

My mother grew up in Harlem, for God's sake, so I never saw racism in my home. I was lucky enough to be brought up in a town that had families of color. We had Jewish families, we had Spanish families, mixed raced families, and we even had gay families. This was in the late 60s and in a small town, so it was rare that we were not closed-minded about these things, as many towns across our nation were.

We didn't judge a person by the color of their skin. We saw their hearts, we saw their kindness, and they were our friends. It was an incredible place to grow up in, and maybe because of that, I thought the rest of the world was like we were.

My very first best friend was black, my "Uncle" who was our family friend was black. Hell, I even go to a black church, so this has never been an issue for me. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Not only does the rest of the world still have racism but I realized that it is also in your own backyard.

With so many friends and family showing their true colors on social media, it is shocking to realize how many racist were hanging out in their closets for so many years.

I remember meeting someone online. He was mixed race, and he seemed nice, so after a few emails, we decided to meet at the beach. As we are walking and talking, he starts off by telling me his mom was Italian and his dad was black. Then he asked about my church I go to and when I told him about my church, he responded that he would never go to my church because there were way too many blacks in one place, and that he didn't want to hang out with ghetto people.

Hello? He didn't just say that? I told him he was sadly mistaken if he thought my church was ghetto! I have met some of the kindest, sweetest, which, most, which I giving, smartest business people there. He had no idea who went to my church or what they were like, and yet here he was prejudging them.

Well, right away, we are off on the wrong foot, insulting my church? Oh hell no, I am definitely not feeling this man, but I am polite, and we keep talking. He goes on to tell me how his dad is an ex NBA basketball player and how he played for a professional team in another country. He tells me how rich he was, how people always stop him, and recognize him on the street. Now come on, really? Does anyone you know here watch Swedish basketball? Okay, buddy, keep dreaming.

I am getting more put off by the moment and as I tell him "Oh really, well money doesn't matter, I walked away from a marriage with lots of money, and I know for a fact that money doesn't make you happy" He looks at me like I have lost my mind, oh yeah, this date is going downhill fast.

Until it imploded when he asked me if I was married to a white man. I told him yes, a Jewish man. Now he proceeds to tell me how Jews own the world, they think that they are all that, that they are not chosen people.

"Let me tell you how it goes," he says, and I'm thinking, "Oh, go right ahead because if you haven't dug your grave already, this will really do it." "Please go on," I say.

"It goes whites, then Jew's, then blacks, then Indian's and on the bottom of the barrel are Spanish people."

He did not just say that???

And with that, the date was over for me, but before I left him standing there by himself, I turned and said.

"Oh, by the way, I guess I didn't mention that I am half Puerto Rican."

He stood there with his mouth open, then he said as I turned and walked away. "Oh, are we leaving?"

I said, "No, I am," and with that, I walked away.

Wow, I remember thinking. It's a good thing I didn't dress up for this date! I am still in shock, I have dated a lot of losers (okay, no smartass comments from the peanut gallery), but this one took the cake.

Now I tell you this story for a point, did he really think there was more white blood in him than black? Was he mad at the rest of the world for this reason? I don't know what his problem was, but I know he was a racist, as stupid as that sounds.

What I have never understood is that it doesn't matter what color you are, cut us, and we all bleed red. When we die, we all go to the ground. We all become dust. Doesn't matter what color you are, it doesn't matter how much money you have, it doesn't matter who you love, we are all the same, so why can't people realize this?

No one is better than anyone else. Money doesn't make you better, and your color doesn't make you better. Your "rank" in society doesn't make you better. What makes you a better person is how you treat others, period. Yes, I have been learning a lot of lessons these past years, but the one I keep learning over and over is what I will put up with and what is definitely not okay!

Being an out and out racist is not okay. Treating people like trash is not okay. Being okay with the way black people have been treated for years is definitely not okay.

So today, my friends, on this special day, that acknowledges the horrible abuse Black people have suffered. My last thought is what I always say at the end of every blog. Be the change you want to see, it starts with you. Love thy neighbor, like you love yourself because in the end, we are all just children of God.

"Be the change you want to see"

@TreadmillTreats

[angellesword]

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (13)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It’s simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if…Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

“A future without you is a world without color.”

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: discussion of injuries which i know nothing about, effects of drunk driving.

SERIES: CHAPTER 12 | CHAPTER 14

Jeon Jeongguk missed you.

He missed you so much he felt like he was going crazy.

He didn't realize that a big part of you was occupying his whole being to the point that when the two of you separated ways, he felt like everything he had meant nothing if you weren't in his life.

He had been dreaming of buying his own apartment ever since he was young, but now that he finally had a house that he could call his own, Jeongguk came to know that this wasn't what he wanted.

What he desired was not a house—he wanted a home and home was wherever you were.

The walls surrounding him weren't going to protect him. It actually hurt him. The deafening silence kept on bouncing that he felt like he was gonna lose his sense of hearing.

Jeongguk decided he hated silence.

He wanted his house to be filled with your laughter.

"Seriously, Guk. Why am I here?"

Jeongguk couldn't speak as Red continued to glare at him.

Ji-eun and her father couldn't visit today because Namjoon had work to do. This left Jeongguk with no choice but to invite his ex-girlfriend in his abode. He hated being alone since it reminded him of how fucked up he was.

He needed a distraction.

"So now you're giving me the silent treatment?" Red rolled her eyes. This was one of her ex lover's habits that she hated. Jeongguk was so bad when it came to communicating.

"You need to tell me the truth if this is about her." Red sighed and Jeongguk froze. The former hadn't mentioned your name, yet Jeongguk was already affected. He knew Red was referring to you.

"I like her a lot and as much as I enjoy doing you a favor, I can't do this forever."

"Msorry..." Jeongguk avoided Red's eyes as he bit his lower lip. His heart hurt a lot.

"No." She shook her head as if her ex's apology was pure bullshit. This was truly unacceptable. "This isn't just about you, Jeongguk. Did you know that the whole office is either questioning my sexuality or thinking I'm a kiss-ass?"

"What?" The confused boy flicked his gaze at Red.

She snorted and then rolled her eyes once more.

"People think I'm in love with your soulmate because I basically cook her three meals a day. I also remind her to drink water, take her vitamins, leave her sweet notes, and change the flowers in her vase just because you are too much of a pussy to do it on your own!"

Jeongguk averted Red's glare again. She was right. He was a fucking coward—too scared to do all these good things on his own.

He was the one who left you, but he felt like you didn't want to do anything with him anymore. Jeongguk had accepted his sad fate, but it didn't mean he would stop taking care of you.

The truth was he was the one who cooked the food you eat every day. He was the one writing you sweet notes, he was the one bombarding Red text messages to kindly remind you to do the simple things you usually forgot because of your busy schedule.

Jeongguk was doing all of this without your knowledge.

How could he tell you when he knew he was unnecessarily mean to you?

"I mean it's about right. I told you I'm gonna stay here for a few months. It's over now. I don't want to be your tenant anymore."

What he said to you six months ago was deeply engraved in his head. This lie was what kept him awake at night.

Jeongguk was lying. Yes. It was true that he didn't want to be your tenant, but it didn't mean that he didn't want to live with you anymore.

But he was so confused—so fucked up in the head that the only solution was to push you away.

He stood by his belief. You did not understand anything and you did not love him.

But Jeongguk was sure of one thing—or at least he thought so.

"I-I," his adam's apple bobbed up and down. He was nervous.  "I think I like her..."

The girl's scoff indicated that she didn't like what he just said.

"You think?" She crossed her arms, making Jeongguk flinch. Her reaction reminded him of the time he met Red at Seokjin's birthday party.

"Why did you follow me, Jeongguk?" Red looked like she had seen a ghost, but she still folded her arms over her chest to intimidate Jeongguk.

It was easy to frighten him. All she had to do was to raise her brow and cross her arms.

"Wow," your soulmate gritted his teeth. "You haven't seen me in so long and this is how you greet me?"

Jeongguk wasn't expecting to see Red at this party. He was here because he wanted to be your date. The thought of you bringing Hoseok to this party made him so angry.

"How do you expect me to react, Guk? I don't want you here!" She was panicking. Jeongguk called her a bitch the last time they had seen each other.

Right now, Red couldn't help but think that Jeongguk would cause ruckus again.

This couldn't happen. Not right now. Not when people were watching Seokjin, and definitely not when you were here.

Red went to the veranda to get some air. She couldn't face you, couldn't face Jeongguk, and couldn’t face Seokjin. The latter had no idea that Jeongguk was the ex she was talking about. They hadn't had the chance to talk about your soulmate because Seokjin was too caught up with the divorce trial.

"So that's it, huh?" Jeongguk clenched his fist. "You'll just decide you don't want me anymore just because you found your soulmate!?"

"Yes!" Red did not even hesitate. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She was so scared. All she could think about was the fact that Jeongguk could destroy this evening.

"I found my soulmate and I'm okay now. You should be happy too, JK. You have met the person destined for you."

Jeongguk looked away. How could he be happy? He found you, but he liked Red.

Red knew what was running inside his mind, so she shook her head and looked at Jeongguk straight in the eyes.

"Do not hurt her, Jeon. She's a one of a kind girl. You can't find another person as sweet and smart as her."

'But you're sweet and smart too!' Jeongguk wanted to argue.

"She saved my life. I owe her everything I have. I wouldn't even be able to meet my soulmate if it wasn't for her." She sobbed.

"So don't. Please. Don't hurt her."

Jeongguk blinked back to reality upon realizing that he broke Red's request.

He hurt you. Bad.

"You have to be one hundred percent sure about what you feel for her, Jeongguk. She deserves better than this."

He remained quiet, still pondering on what he felt.

Six months passed, but he felt like it wasn't enough to ease his doubts.

"No." He blurted out. "I-I like her,"

Red's expression softened, but she wasn't convinced yet. Jeongguk was stammering as if he wasn't certain.

"Are you really sure? I know I'm always pressuring you, but I want you to be real." She said carefully.

Jeongguk's heart was hammering. It felt like it wanted to be free from the cold cage he built.

"I don't know!" He looked like he was in a lot of pain. Tears were actually threatening to fall down his cheeks.

Jeongguk hated feelings. Why were they so complicated?

"Okay, Gukkie. Calm down."

Gukkie. You called him this. Jeongguk had another realization. That nickname was only cute when it came out of your pretty mouth.

He wanted to kiss you.

"I think you're just guilty and confused right now," Red started.

He could only listen.

"Guilty because you are being held back by the amount of time we spent together. You drilled it in your head that I am the one for you. You ignored the fact that soulmates exist and now that you're experiencing how the soulmate bond works, you became confused."

Red could feel that Jeongguk was skeptical of his own feelings. He was probably thinking that it was impossible for him to fall in love with you with just a few months.

But you see, that was how the soulmate bond worked. It made the impossible possible.

"I know it's hard to suddenly believe into something especially when all your life, you ignored and denied the existence of it."

Jeongguk only pursed his lips into a thin line.

Red continued.

"You feel guilty for trying to unlearn what you believe is a myth, but it's okay, Jeongguk. It's okay to let me go. You aren't cheating. Your feelings simply changed. Don't let our memories together ruin what your heart truly wants."

Confusion was eating him alive again.

"H-How do you know all of this?" He asked softly, making Red chuckle.

"Why do you think it took me so long to tell you that I found my soulmate, huh?"

Jeongguk shook his head. He honestly had no idea.

"It’s because I also went through this, Guk. It took me months to finally admit the truth to you since I was so guilty. We have been together for almost a decade and I feel like it would be such a waste to just let you go, but the heart wants what it wants. It's so much easier to just let things go."

Jeongguk grimaced. He regretted being an ass to Red when they broke up. If he only knew that it was this hard to be in denial...

"But don't get me wrong, okay? Letting go doesn't mean that you have to completely erase your memories with people. I still treasure the moments we spent together and I love you, Jeongguk—not in a romantic way, but I will always love you."

He was his first love, his first friend. Jeongguk had always been there for her. She knew he truly loved her.

As Red talked about their memories together, Jeongguk then started to reminisce the moments he had with you.

It was weird.

Weird that your memories together were not even half as many as the moments he spent with Red, yet all that's on his mind was you.

This was what terrified Jeongguk. You barely spent time together, but what he felt for you was strong—too strong that it defeated his ten years with Red.

"I don't know what to do," Jeongguk choked out a sob. It's annoying because Red was laughing.

"You poor bunny. I wish I could tell you how I did it, but you have to figure this on your own." This was the last thing she said before leaving Jeongguk alone.

Alone with his treacherous thoughts.

He kept playing the conversation he had with Red, making him realize that his own thoughts was the one making this hard for him.

Red was wrong.

Jeongguk wasn't confused.

He knew exactly what he felt for you.

He was just too much of a coward to admit it.

He never learned.

The six months he spent away from you should have served as a lesson by now, but no. Here he was, still ignoring the ache in his chest.

Jeongguk regretted leaving you months ago. He had to admit that it wasn't instant though.

That's the thing about regret. It came into a beautiful form—a disguise telling him that this was what he wanted even though he knew deep down that it was not.

He hated himself because of this. There were many warning signs from other people. He had heard so many times that regret was a two-faced bitch. It felt good at first, making him feel like he was floating because he was finally free.

But then it would come back to haunt him—to drown him with what ifs and I should have—to suffocate him until he couldn't breathe anymore.

Jeongguk hated himself because of this. Why couldn't he be like others? He envied those people who could express their feelings in the right way. Those people who knew how to dodge regret.

He wasn't like them. He got overwhelmed too quickly—causing him to panic and do stupid things.

But really. What was his way of expressing himself? How could he ease the doubts in his head?

What kind of outlet would serve as his way to be able to express the heaviness in his chest?

Jeongguk could only think about one thing.

He went to his art room. There was too much space in this house, but his loneliness still couldn't fit.

Everything in this room was sad. The easel looked sad, the palette looked sad, his blank canvas looked sad.

It was sad that he couldn't find the will to paint anymore.

What was the use of seeing colors when he couldn't do what he loved? What was the used of seeing colors when he couldn't see the color in your eyes?

Jeongguk's lips trembled as he gripped the brush in his hand.

He really couldn't do it.

Maybe he should look at his previous works to get inspiration?

Yeah. That's probably the best thing to do...

Jeongguk brought out the box full of the things you had bought for him.

It had been half a year since he touched these materials. He couldn't bring himself to even look at this before. It reminded him so much of you.

Jeongguk let out a shaky breath.

The box was overloading with art. The months he spent with you caused him to produce these lovely sketches.

He smiled while looking at the pile of sticky notes on the floor. These were the ones he drew when he was overwhelmed with colors.

Sketching was much simpler. It calmed his raging emotions.

Jeongguk started to absentmindedly piece together the pictures in the sticky notes drawn by him.

"Holy shit," his eyes suddenly dilated upon realizing that these tiny sketches made up a larger picture of your eyes when they were put together—similar to a puzzle.

Jeongguk's blood was rushing. It was as if he was slapped by reality.

The larger picture was your eyes, the small ones that were drawn in each sticky notes were every tiny detail about you: your mouth, your neck, your fingers, and everything in between.

This was it.

This was his way of expressing feelings.

His lips lie, but his artworks tell.

Jeongguk understood now what Red was implying. She was right. No one could help him, not even the love you claimed you felt for him.

This was all on Jeongguk. He realized that he had to admit it himself that he loved you, that he wanted to be with you, and that he believed in soulmates because he wanted to and not because other people force him to do so.

Realization was the complete opposite of regret. The latter was slow, the former was instant. It would hit you when you least expected it.

Jeongguk was certain.

His doubts were cleared because he knew you could see colors now.

You should be able to see with flashing colors and light, so why weren't you?

"J-Jimin?" You whispered, uncertain, unstable, and unhappy.

You were surrounded by negative prefix that was making him feel sick.

When Jeongguk found out that he loved you, he imagined begging for forgiveness at your feet— telling you how much of an idiot he was and that he was willing to take whatever you could give—no, scratch that. You didn't have to give anything at all.

It was his time to show you how much you meant to him.

This was why Jeongguk texted you, asking you to meet him. When you didn't answer, he was forced to call you.

Unfamiliar voice welcomed him to bring the terrible news.

The person on the other line told him that you were in a hospital. Your car crashed because you were driving under the influence of alcohol.

Jeongguk didn't know what to do after knowing this information. He was out of his mind. It was a miracle that he was able to reach the hospital in one piece.

He remembered running like crazy, he was crossing the street even though cars were approaching. He ignored the profanities leaving their mouths.

He just didn't care about anything. He just needed to get to you.

He couldn't get to you—at least not now. The doctors were still treating you. Luckily they told Jeongguk everything. He didn't even need to show his I.D to prove that the two of were related. He only needed to tell them that he was your soulmate.

It's funny how he refused to believe in the idea of soulmate before, but right now, he was using it to beg other people to believe that you were destined to be together.

Jeongguk waited in vain, staring into the space and praying to God he didn't believe in.

Desperation always led people into doing things they never thought they'd ever do.

"You're Jimin, right?" You continued to ask, still unsure.

Jeongguk didn't know how to answer. You were acting strange. Couldn't you tell that it was him who was in front of you now? Was this one of effects of the accident?

"I'm sorry I keep asking," you bit the inside of your cheeks as tears filled your eyes.

Jeongguk was quick to wipe your tears away. His touch was gentle, but you still winced.

Everything about you hurt.

"I can't see you. I-I can't see anything. It's all black..."

Jeongguk's heart sank, his blood running cold.

What did you just say?

"I'm so scared, Jimin-ah. This is different from the colorless world." Your tears were flowing non-stop, similar to the painful sound that kept on hammering your soulmate's chest.

"I feel like I'm going crazy. There's nothing here, it's just darkness sucking me in."

You were quivering in agitation. You felt helpless. It was as though everyone was fully geared up and you're here, naked—just waiting to be taken advantage of.

Being blind made you more vulnerable. You just wished this wasn't forever. The doctors said that there were two probable reasons why you couldn't see.

The first one was because of the accident. They already treated your injuries, but they said you still needed an eye surgery. Apparently, you hit your head when your car crashed. They said you didn't need to worry since this was the most common type of treatment for people experiencing temporary blindness.

Temporary.

You hoped this was temporary. Your heart couldn't take it if the reason why you were blind was because of your tragic fate.

The doctors told you that your blindness might be because of the existence of soulmate. It had come to your learning that the medical world was now considering this myth as a reality.

If this was the case, you were really damned.

"I'm sorry..." Jeongguk blurted out. He couldn't stop crying after knowing what happened to you.

This was not how it was supposed to go. Why was the universe being so cruel to him? Was he wrong? Was breaking from the phase of denial not enough? Was he really your soulmate? But why...why did you turn blind after he finally accepted the love he felt for you? Was it not enough?

Was Jeongguk not enough? Did he hurt you to the point that nothing, not even his love, could bring you back to light?

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry!" Jeongguk wailed, he was aching to touch you, but he was scared to cause you pain.

He caused you pain.

He would always cause you pain.

This was evident when you felt a sharp pang in your chest upon recognizing his voice.

He wasn't Jimin.

You did not pour your heart to Park Jimin.

You told everything to the wrong person.

You made yourself vulnerable in front of Jeon Jeongguk. Again.

"J-Jeongguk?" Your voice was loaded with disappointment and sadness.

He sobbed even harder.

"I-It's me," his voice cracked. "I'm here."

It's me. I'm here. If you were the person you were before, you would probably be rejoicing now.

Jeon Jeongguk was here. You didn't know if he was here because of you or not. In the end, it didn't matter since:  "I'm glad," you said." I'm glad you're here."

You did not sound like you were glad. Not at all. Jeongguk couldn't be mistaken. Your voice was too monotonous to be considered happy. Your expression was impassive it made you look like you had no life.

But you were glad. You're sure of this because at least you didn't have to beg Jimin or any other people to ask Jeongguk to come see you.

He was here so you could already tell him what you had been meaning to.

"I'm sorry, Jeongguk," this was what you meant.

He did not understand.

Why were you saying sorry when he should be the one begging you to take him back?

"I'm sorry I made you feel uncomfortable so many times. I didn't mean to—"

"Don't say that," he cut you off, but you continued.

This time you were smiling.

"Allow me to," you gulped. "Allow me to so that I could understand why."

What were you saying now?

"I have to apologize and you have to tell me what I did wrong, Jeongguk. You have to tell me what I did to make you hate me this much."

You were crying. The pain was unbearable. It was making you think of the worst case scenario. It was making you imagine things that weren't true. It was making you feel like his hatred towards you was the reason why you couldn't see.

You were blaming him.

You had the right to.

He hurt you so much.

"What did I do to deserve this?" You had been a good person. You weren't hurting anyone consciously. You had been giving everything you had, so why? Why was your soul still bleeding?

"I let you go, Jeongguk. I am letting you go. Can't you do the same? Can't you really let go of the hatred in your heart and just let me live?"

Jeongguk couldn't speak. You were feeding your head with lies.

Jeon Jeongguk did not hate you because Jeon Jeongguk loved you.

He loved you with all of his heart.

"Let me go, Jeongguk."

With his body.

"I don't want to be your soulmate anymore."

And soul.

You did not want to love Jeon Jeongguk.

You loved him. Once. But not this time.

[kusagrasskusa]

Hanzo Hisashi X Innocent! Reader

Thank you EzraPFoxglove01for requesting this adorable thing! I sorta changed a lot you asked for by making it go into depth, and it ended up being the longest story I've ever written lol. So I'm definitely gonna add a shorter, more cutesy version of this story soon.

Change her outfit all you wish; it doesn't have a big part in the story at all. Though due to where she lives, it sorta makes sense for traditional Japanese wear to be her attire. And this is the kimono I have in mind, but change whatever :D To be honest, it makes sense to change the look to be more suitable for fighting while still maintaining an innocent, feminine character.

Word Count: 6733

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hay....ya!" A feminine voice yelled out as she kicked a large hole into a tree. She didn't really have an specific training area so she often kicked and punched holes into tough looking trees, which proven to be as affective as training dummies and whatnot. She pulled away from the tree with a large smile on her innocent features.

She held her arms up to her chest with clinched fists. "Alright! Just 113 more to go," she reminded herself as she prepared for another kick. Yet just before she kicked the tree, she heard rustling in the bushes surrounding her.

She paused and looked around her everywhere. The wind began to blow which made it hard to hear whoever or whatever move again as the wind blew the all the bushes. She made a pouty face and walked over to where she heard the noise the first time. She had a bag that wrapped around her colorful kimono that contained kunai knives, and she pulled one out just in case. To be honest, with her small, airhead, and pouty form, she was the least intimidating person most people could ever see. And her small, F/C kimono with cherry trees on it added onto it.

The wind slowed down for a second and in that time, rustling in the bushes was heard again, where it did last time. "Huh?" She hummed as she slowly and cautiously opened up the bushes. "W-Who's there!" She yelled nervously as she parted the bushes completely. "Ahhh!" She screamed as she stepped back, tripping on whatever she stepped on. A baby bunny jumped on top of her from the bushes, it's guinea pig looking face staring boldly at her. Fuck it was frightening for a bunny to withhold so much toughness and boldness.

She whined as she pulled the bunny of her, causing it to run away quickly. She stumbled to her feet, barely managing to maintain her own balance for a moment. She watched the bunny hop away into the forest as she calmed her nerves. Once it disappeared, she sighed and opened her bag to put away her knife. Yet the sound of a voice behind her caused her to throw it towards the voice with perfect aim and fast speed. Yet as she turned around, she saw her kunai knife had been frozen but it wasn't frozen quick enough to prevent the one and only Kuai Liang from behind cut a little.

"Good aim," the Sub Zero complimented in his deep and husky voice, a smirk on his face. He pulled the kunai from the ice prison it was it and tossed it towards Y/N. Y/N's innocent E/C eyes widened as she gasped.

"Liang!" She ran towards him to hug him– but no, we can't have that without her tripping halfway. "Oof!" She hit the ground hard and whined as she slowly stood back up. She had cut her face on a rock but that wasn't good enough for her to not want to hug him just as hard. So once she stood up, she lunged at him and hugged him so incredibly hard. "I missed you! How are you!"

Kuai chuckled as he softly wrapped his arms around her. "I see you haven't changed one bit, dear friend." It's true that the two of them are close friends; although they don't have any fundamental qualities in common, they managed to meet one day and their opposite personalities captured each other's interest. And so here they are, together after departed months back. Right after Sub Zero and others were free from Quan Chi, the two got close again and only had a couple weeks to get close again before Kuai had to leave. Finally, months later, they're together again!

"I've been just fine, L/N. How about yourself?" He asked as he pulled his arms down. As expected, Y/N didn't let go and continued to sway back and forth.

"Oh, I've been good! Sorta lonely, yeah but I met this one guy! He leads an entire clan that let me in!" Y/N sweet voice called out in reply, her eyes twinkling. "I don't see him often but we've been talking a lot more recently. He's really nice...like a big, strong, teddy bear, hehe," she giggled as her legs went limp. Kuai chuckled at her dramatic description and pat her head; pushing the person she's talking about to the back of his mind. She got back on her feet again and pulled away from him. "Sooooo...do you have any combat stories to share? An adventure?"

Kuai shook his head. "Unfortunately nothing to tell now, but soon," he spoke as he looked up at the bright blue sky. It was maybe 8 in the morning  at the time. Y/N held her arms in front of her as she swayed back and forth as her head tilted in confusion.

"Okay...Oh! There's flowers growing around here and I want you to see it. They're so pretty- and pink," She emphasized as she took Kuai's hand and pulled him to a nearby pond. The trees surrounding the pond were waves with red and pink flowers ground from them. It's hard to tell, but in the distant was a village. And jn that village was, drum roll please, Hanzo Hizashi himself. As the two friends spoke about the scenery, Hanzo had just gotten ready for a day of training.

As he stepped outside, he took a deep breath and examined the place surrounding him. The birds were singing, the soft winds brushing past the trees and plants, the warm sun and clear skies. The sound of children playing can be heard from the background. It was pure bliss really. Yet even so, he had an uneasy feeling wash over him. The feeling that there could possibly be an unwanted visitor.

Hanzo walked closed the door behind him and walked out. He took his time going from his home to a place a little outside of the village; a more personalized dojo. It contained dummies and targets designed for his spear and fire. The little dojo was little ways across a pond near the village so that's where he was headed.

"And that's why that's my favorite color," Y/N said as she finished her story. Kuai Liang, to be honest, wasn't paying attention to her at all and simply nodded. She smiled at his politeness to at least pretend to acknowledge what she's saying; Y/N knows she can get really immature sometimes and right now really isn't her best moment. "Eheh, so what do you want to do?"

Kuai looked over at her with a soft smile on his features. He really was such a peaceful man at heart. "I believe I saw a few rare ducks fly into the pond. Would you like to go see them?"

"You're not going anywhere."

Y/N sharply turned her head towards the pissed looking man walking towards the duo and gasped. She stood up, saying, "Kuai, this is the man that let me into his village! Hey Hanzo, this is Kuai‐"

"He already knows who I am," Kuai cut her off coldly and stood up. "Hanzo, I mean you no harm; had I known this was your territory, I would not have come." Hanzo pulled a sword from his back and held it up in a firey fists once he got close to them. Y/N stared idlely at them with growing anxiety. The two picked up on that quickly, making Kuai speak up again before Hanzo could. "The girl does not know of our rivalry. Don't punish her for my mistake, Hanzo‐"

"Do no speak to me like that. Leave at once!" Hanzo may be alive, but that doesn't mean he can't revert his voice back to his hellish Scorpion one. Kuai took a few steps back before turning around and disappearing. Hanzo and Y/N watched the whole way through in complete silence. Once Kuai was gone, they silence broke.

"I–"

"And you," Hanzo walked up to her and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt. "Exactly what made you think bringing a guest without permission was anywhere near exceptable? You endanger every one of us at this village that way." Y/N could feel his fire-hot breath against her as he spoke. A shiver fell down her spine as looked him right in the eye. She didn't respond, but rather bow her head. Hanzo scoffed, flames igniting from his fist that began to burn her clothes, making her whimper beneath him. She felt the flames heating up her neck, which made her whimper more as the pain wasn't something she was exposed to often. "Part of me wants to kill you right now. You are very lucky to have caught me in a better light."

Hanzo let go of her, stepping away. Y/N bowed her full body lowly, hands to her knees. "I'm deeply sorry sir, I really am. I promise I will never bring another guest again. I knew not of Kuai and your's relationship and if I had known when I met him in the woods a little bit ago, I would have got him to leave. It was foolish of me to have not stayed in the village and possibly risks a bloody situation. For that, I am sorry." As Y/N finished, she heard nothing but the sound of a sword being put away.

"As long as this never happens again, L/N," he spoke coldly. "I forgive you. You may continue what you were doing before he arrived here."

"Thank you so much, sir!" Y/N called out happily as she stood up straight with a smile on her face. "I promise you won't regret it!" Hanzo remained quiet and simply glanced down instead. A more calm and positive feeling took over his previous anger quickly, leaving behind a little bit of confusion. Y/N took a few steps back over to where that tree she was kicking earlier was before Hanzo spoke up again.

"I apologize for being so harsh, as well. You said you met you here; was this planned?" He asked her as he his fists were undone. Y/N shook her head when she turned back towards him. Hanzo examined her face for a moment before sighing, then a smile grew on his face. "Very well. I appreciate your honesty. Actually, would you care to join me for tea later? As leader of this clan, it feels right for me to know all my people, whether they are a weary traveler or blood."

"Of course I would," she said softly. "What time?"

"Tomorrow at dawn."

"So be it." And with that, Hanzo began to walk towards his dojo and Y/N walked towards her special tree. The two of them had that tea on their minds as they practiced whatever it is they were practicing. How would it turn out? Would Y/N innocent immaturity get her in trouble? Would Hanzo appear too serious? Will they make up and gain trust? Maybe something else? We'll see in the next paragraph.

Time flies by quickly when you're having a good time, and for Hanzo, he was quite happy about the thought of getting to know Y/N more. And also to learn more of her relations with Kuai. As for Y/N, she was nervous as all hell since she knows she can be a handful sometimes. To be honest, a simple deep breath was able to calm her down and bring the adult side out of her. So here she was now, looking at herself in the mirror of her guest cabin and taking deep breaths to calm her nerves.

"You got this Y/N," she told herself as she took her final deep breath. The kimono she was wearing was different as it was longer and above the wrists, meaning she was unmarried. It still had a pretty design on it, with the colors overall being F/C, pink, yellow, and blue. The had her H/C hair up in a bun with two strands falling over her shoulders. She had a pin that kept her hair up with a beautiful flower attached to it. To contribute to her Japanese asthetic, she had a folded fan that was black with red cherry trees designs in it in her hand.

She smiled at herself in the mirror one more time before she turned to face the door. She slid open the door to the guest home and put on her shoes before walking outside. She closed the door and prepared to head off the selected location. On the other hand, Hanzo was sure to be formal as well.

He wore a montsuki, which is a formal black kimono worn over a white under-kimono and hakama, which are traditional Japanese trousers. It was common for samurais to wear this underneath their armor, so it suited him well. After all, he was both ninja and samurai; he kept his hair in a man manbun as well. He was very good at maintaining a formal way of speaking and acting, yet he knew Y/N isn't all that. Someone as free spirited and naive really isn't all that capable of it, in his mind.

He was sitting down in a chabudai; one of those short legged tables that have cushions to sit on your knees on rather than to sit on chairs. At the moment, in another room of his lonely home, was a kettle that was boiling water. Authoress is not a Japanese fanatic who knows Japanese and is basing these designs of real Samurai and Wife dolls by their bed, I swear. It was perhaps halfway done by the time he heard a voice call from the outside of the front door; "Hello, it's Y/N. May I come in?"

Hanzo smiled softly to himself as he stood up and walked over to the door, sliding it open. To say he was shocked to see the free spirited girl in such a good-mannered attire was an understatement. "You look lovely tonight," he stated as he looked Y/N head to toe. On Y/N's side, she noticeably blushed and gave him a sweet look.

"You look lovely as well, truly."

Hanzo raised a brow and stepped aside for Y/N to step inside. And rather than her normal fast walk with swaying arms side to side, she slowly walked in with her hands held together in front of her. "I haven't yet seen this side of you, Miss L/N. I am a proper kind of person so don't think I won't hold it against you if you act unmannerly," he teased as Y/N giggled to herself and took her shoes off at the front door.

"I thought that maybe I should act a bit more, I guess, fancy in order to match you. As long as you don't believe in the whole women are beneath us bigger men and shouldn't talk unless spoken to thing, then this shouldn't be too hard, hehehe," Y/N said as she was lead to the chabudai by Hanzo. She sat down on her knees on side and he on the other.

"Of course I would not act on such a thing. We are all human with equal rights," Hanzo replied as he sat his hands in his lap. His looked down at Y/N'a hands, which were on the table, before shooting her a look that told her that she was doing something wrong. Y/N hummed in confusion before gasping lightly. She put her hands in her lap and smiled innocently, creating a chuckle from Hanzo.

Come to think of it, the hone hasn't yet been described. It's easy to imagine the paper and wood that made up the walls and doors, and the warm light that shun over the two people. The carvings on the wood above them and around them, the large pot with a bonsai in it in the corner of the room. The little wooden seats with drawers distilled in them built into the walls of the home. The wooden tables with traditional statues and little plants in pots across the home. The sword holder near the front door, the mats across the floor to give the unique taste. In the kitchen had built in furnaces where people would burn a fire in the wholes on the bottom and put cooking appliances and kyūsus on top of it. If you don't want to imagine that, here's something help.

"Have you ever studied Japanese arts? Surely you must have had some experience in a place like this, or perhaps a friend to lecture you on what to do," Hanzo explained his thought process as he looked interestingly at the smaller girl.

"Actually, I had Kuai teach me a lot about Chinese culture. But when I met a swordsman named Kenshi, I learned more of Japanese tradition. I may not be the best, but I tried to use my knowledge of both cultures to act as good as possible! Um, I mean," she paused as her face lit up red. "To act as good as possible." She but the inside of her lip nervously as she grew more and more embarrassed of her voice level as she spoke. Hanzo chuckled.

"I'm glad I invited you here. You are very knowledgeable it seems. Plus quite entertaining," he complimented. The kyūsu began to steam loudly, meaning it was finished. Hanzo glanced over to the kitchen.

"Heh, I wouldn't say knowledgeable," Y/N replied, "but thank you." Hanzo stood up, nodding his head towards her as he walked put of the room.

"I apologize but the tea must be attended to. I will be back in a few moments," Hanzo explained before he disappeared behind a wall. Y/N nodded in understandment and began to fight with her hair, kimono ends, fingers, and whatever else she could once he walked out. When Hanzo walked into the kitchen, he felt heat rise to his face. He leaned onto a little table with his hand on it to keep his steady and his other hand over his chest. Oh kami, he thought, she gets cuter each time I see her. Whether she's trying to be like me but failing miserably or being her bubbly self does not matter; she is perfect.

He did his best to calm his nerves before grabbing the kettle from the furnace and grabbing a kyūsu, an appliance for making tea, and slowly pouring hot water into it. He made a kind of sweet green tea, one that many foreigners don't know about, called Sencha. It has to be made with the coolest kind of hot water, basically, otherwise it will turn bitter. He made sure the watch it carefully for about half a minute before grabbing two cups and pouring the tea. He then picked up the two cups and headed back to the chabudai. Yet before he got to the room, he paused.

A feminine voice sung a soft song as she waited for Hanzo to return. Hanzo felt his cheeks heat up again and his chest felt warm. He could recall this feeling but from where he first felt it is unknown to him. The ready may be able to assume that he was thinking of his first love, his wife, and how he felt when he fell in love with her. But that idea hadn't even crossed his mind as he felt there was no way he could ever feel such an extreme emotion towards anyone else. And marriage isn't even a question since she isn't from the clan. He took a deep breath before walking back into the room.

Y/N stopped singing and she smiled widely as she saw him. "Hey Hanzo! Or, um, sorry, haha. The tea smells very nice," she complimented as she gripped the sides of the cup with her little fingers. Yeah, there was definitely a way he could feel such an extreme emotions towards anyone else. Hanzo sat down on his knees on the other side of her, mumbling a quick thank you to Y/N and a thank you to the Gods' gift of tonight. And in his mind, a thank you for what to him felt like a gift from the Gods' to end his grief from his early wife.

"Mm! This is really good!" Y/N gasped after tasting it. "This is the best tea I've ever had!" Her eyes were wide in awe and her expression showing her impressment. Hanzo chuckled at her adorable reaction as he took a sip of his wom drink. It's been maybe 8 minutes since Y/N got there and she already forgot to remain all traditional and civil. It was adorable to him; she was so precious really.

And throughout the night, the two of them talked and laughed and jokes and got close. They remained at the chabudai most of the night, aside from when Y/N asked for a tour. She adored the bonsais, scenery that can be seen from outside the window, paintings around the home, and everything. She was so naive but to Hanzo, that wasn't particularly a bad thing. It made her all the more fun to be around. And because of how great of a night they were having, they even agreed to meet up the next day.

"Excuse me, Miss Y/N," Hanzo said as he stood up from the chabudai. "I will be back in one moment. Please help yourself to more tea if you'd like."

"I will," Y/N responded sweetly. Oh, on a side note, Y/N completely forgot about the traditional thing completely so don't expect her to stay put in the few minutes Hanzo was gone. Actually, by the time Hanzo came back, Y/N had her head in her arms on the table her body slowly rising and falling with the rhythm of her breaths. Hanzo couldn't help but find himself smiling down at her. He got that warm feeling in his chest again though it was different this time. It wasn't as unfamiliar as before. He knew what it was; it was love slowly blossoming.

He sighed softly before picking up the sleeping girl's tired form and carrying her against his chest. She shifted a little bit in his grasp and ended up being hudled against him more, making that warn feeling in Hanzo's chest grow more. Such a sweet, innocent creature. He slid open his door and brought her back to her guest home, where he laid her in bed and brought her hair down from its updo in order for it to not be as bad of a mess tomorrow. He kissed her forehead and then left to sleep in his own bed until the next morning.

The next day was the same as the previous. And then the day after that, and the day after that day, and so forth. But one day was a particularly cold day and a cold blanket of snow began to cover the land. Y/N was at Hanzo's place, watching the snow fall through an open window with her E/C eyes wide in amazement at the beauty. Hanzo was standing behind her with two cups of tea in his hand.

"Would you care for a drink?" He asked, making Y/N turn around.

"Thank you, Hanzo!" She said as she took the drink from him and took a big sip. It tasted sweet, as it was the tea she had when she came over for the first time. "Say, I sorta wish we could have gone outside today. I noticed that you like to fight in that place by the pond a lot; which is really great to watch! You're so strong, hehe. But you've never actually seen me fight before," she explained right before she took a sip of tea. "Y'know, I'm painfully aware that people view me as an immature, innocent, naive girl who isn't the most aware of her surroundings. But I think you'll be impressed to see what I can do," she said confidently as she hummed.

Hanzo took a sip from his tea and nodded. "Perhaps. When it gets warmer out, I'd love to watch what you can do," he replied with an extra caring tone with his voice. He caught onto his tone quickly and blushed a little bit. "But there is something we can do outside," he started.

"What is it?" Y/N asked, standing up.

"Well, there's a hotspring nearby. We can swim in there if you'd like. However be sure to dress in something not too revealing if you would like to."

"There is? I'd love to!" She exclaimed as she bounced up and down. "I'll dmgi get dressed now," she eagered on as she put her shoes back on before leaving. Hanzo grabbed her up of tea and brought it to the kitchen. It's a shape it would go to waste, but he can always make more. He returned to his bedroom to grab something to put on while swimming but please, just imagine what he'd wear to swim. Traditional swimwear is too nasty to be used in this book, but swimming trunks are too modern. As for Y/N, considering she never had a particular home or culture, it made sense for her to just wear a full body suit she could have gotten from anywhere in Earthrealm.

Of course, the both of them were sure to bathe before hopping into the hot spring. Well, Hanzo slowly got in whereas Y/N jumped in without any care. It was warm, shocker there.

"Ahh...Thank the Elder Gods for getting me here before I froze to death," Y/N shuddered as chills ran up her spine. Though those chills were disappearing as the warmth of the hot spring washer over her soon enough. Hanzo rested his body against the large rocks around the hot spring and found a seat-like area. Y/N swam around happily and sung to herself.

Oh, one thing worth mentioning for the sake of the next paragraph is that Y/N had a necklace around her neck. Hanzo had never noticed it before as it was always under her kimono or shirt. However that necklace had a great significance go it; she was told that with that necklace, she would be able to find her parents who seemed to have lost her at birth. That necklace was the only thing that remained of them and hopefully destiny was kind enough to help her find her parents.

"Kyaa–" shrieked as a splashing sound was heard. Hanzo stopped daydreaming and looked over at Y/N, who's hair covered he face and arm frantically tried to keep her body floating. She quickly pushed her hair out of her face and whined over and over again worried. Hanzo instinctively swam over there as fast as possible, grabbing ahold of her gently yet sturdy. "Where is it!" She cried out, feeling her body and looking around the waters.

"Where is what?" Hanzo asked in his husky voice that was now in a confused tone.

"My necklace! I can't find my necklace!" She replied worriedly, tears swelling in her eyes. Hanzo looked at the tears forming and felt his whole body shiver woman's his heart drop. "I can't see it anywhere!" Hanzo began to swim towards the rock formation he was against earlier, making Y/N cry out, "wait!"

"Y/N," Hanzo sternly spoke. "I will find your necklace and return it. Worry not, please, dear friend," he reassured, taking her hand in his. She shook nervously and wiped her tears. Slowly, she nodded which told Hanzo he could swim away now. And so he did; he headed towards the stop where she cried out and with one deep breath, he went underwater. He had to hold his nose for warm waters were very dangerous to go under as dangerous fungi grow in hot waters. Yet even so, he swam to the bottom of the hot spring using one hand to stir around to look for the necklace.

Y/N waited on the rocks, sniffing and whimpering. She hasn't told Hanzo the origin of the necklace, but he could tell it was important to her. When she was little, she was handed the necklace and was told it would help her find her missing mother as long as she stayed pure. What that means is that Y/N had to remain free from murder, theft, and other ways of sin. Not only that, but she could not ever preform certain adult actions as then she would never find her parents (I say that because Y/N never had a parent figure to teach her what nono stuff is), which is her number one goal in life. She grew up going from city to city, state to state, country to country, and even had been in Outworld before. She grew up with so many cultures and had never found someone that was like her in any way. It felt like she didn't have an identity as she had nothing to trace her orgins to.

Splash! Hanzo took a deep breath of air as he finally reached the surface again, with a silver necklace with a S/F/C gem inside it that's carved to show an unknown design. "Is this your necklace?" He asked as he held it up. Y/N gasped, lunging back into the water and swimming towards Hanzo. Once she got up to him, she wrapped her arms around his muscular figure and cried.

"You found it! Thank you so much!" She cried out happily, pressing her body against him. Hanzo blushed at the sudden affection and slipped the necklace back onto her. He adjusted the back of of it so it wouldn't fall off her so easily again. "I love Hanzo... You're the best friend I've ever had... I really mean it," she whimpered out. Hanzo began to swim towards the rock formation again and once he did, Y/N let go of him.

"I appreciate it, Y/N. I love you as well, you're the closest friend I've ever had," he said back to her with a warm smile on his features. Y/N smiled back at him before examining her unharmed necklace.

"Hmm... Ever since I could remember, I would move from every country in the world to another. I've been to Paris, Beijing, New York, London, Los Angeles, a few different places in Mexico and Colombia, Holland, Tokyo, Osaka, and many more. I was carried from place to place by various of adoptive mothers, and each of them left a bit of their culture and identity with me by the time I left.

"But I had one that was a fortune teller and psychic. She was incapable kf having kids and didn't want to go through the trouble of raising one, so she took me, an 11 year old girl. She gasped when she saw me and took me in immediately. Before I left her, she gave me this necklace. "Y/N," she said, "you have the potential to see your real parents again. Train, grow stronger, read, grow smarter, listen, grow wiser. Stray away from the evil in the world and remain pure from your soul to your body. This is how you'll find your mother.""

Y/N paused and looked up at the larger male. He seemed intrigued with her story and made sure to listen carefully to her every word. So she continued, "as I grew older and began to travel on my own, I thought of her words every single hour of every day. I had no reason to live as I ever did was travel and meet new people, only to leave and never see them again. Just knowing who I really was became my only reason for existing. To this day, I bet the relief of meeting my real mom will feel like being deaf and hearing music, or being blind and seeing color, or being able to walk again after being paralyzed. But now," she paused.

Y/N smiled and looked up at Hanzo. "It's strange to feel so in place, so correct. I-I know I never felt this way about any place before! But I really think that as long as you're around, my chances of meeting my mom are good! Just being with you gives me hope for the next day, truly. It's like being with you is my reason to exist."

Hanzo closed his eyes and smiled back at her. He wrapped his arms around and embraced her warmly, his head being filled with nothing but pure bliss. Y/N hugged back tightly, feeling just as happy as he is right now.

And just as soon as it came, the day was over and the two had to return home and sleep. But this particular night, their dreams were better than usual. And two days later, the snow had cleared up and the ground was dry! That meant Y/N could go train today! Unfortunately, with her absent-mindedness, she forgot she wanted Hanzo to watch her so she remained in private as she kicked thicc ass trees down in two strong kicks and crushed stones into bits by simply punching it once.

"Hai...ya!" She called out as she forcefully brought her first to a stone celler that was abandoned randomly in the woods. But hey, no one was using it, so who's gonna cry about it being broken? The impact of her punch brought a giant circular impact onto the wall, and bits and pieces of it fell down. "Hehehe! 22 more to go!" She thought out loud as she pulled her fist back again. She wasn't alone in these woods, no, as there was a particular ninja/samurai person thing, idk, watching from the nearby bush. Not to be creepy of course! He was on his way to his dojo but heard noises, and discovered it was her after checking it out.

And d a m n. If Y/N saw his shocked face the first time he saw her punch the wall with that much force and endurance, she would laugh and tease him about it for a long time. He didn't expect her to be so quick in her movements and to cause such force. Like, a short little bebe in a pink, cutesy kimono with cherry blossoms being able to cause a fucking massacre to the wall? How could you blame him?

"Hmm... that reminds me!" Y/N exclaimed as she spun around to look at Hanzo. "I told you that you should watch me train! Is that what you were doing?"

Hanzo blushed heavily and was unfortunately incapable of hiding it in the direct daylight. "Indeed, Y/N. This is truly a wonderful sight to see," he replied as he looked away for a moment. Y/N gasped and ran towards him. He took a few steps back when he noticed how close she gotten, which caused him to get a little bit more flustered.

"You're sick? You're face is all red, Y/N whined as she pulled Hanzo closer. "You should be inside, mister, getting better! Not out here watching me fight when it's colder out here! Let's go bring you inside," he said as she grabbed his muscular arm and held it close. She turned towards the village of the Shirai Ryu and began walking towards it, pulling Hanzo along. How bold.

Hanzo but his bottom lightly and remained as flustered as before. "There really is no need, Y/N," he replied back.

"You're being quite irresponsible for a ninja, y'know," Y/N replied as she continued to walk him home. Hanzo sighed and just let her pull him along. He knew she would question him if he told her he wasn't sick so he choose into except it.

"Thank you for your concern," he replied lowly. Y/N giggled proudly and nodded.

"The best for you!" They arrived to the pathways of the village and began their walk. There was a few pedestrians walking by, including a dad and daughter and a separate woman. "I'll make you some tea and you can go to bed, okay?" Hanzo nodded, smirking to himself about how funny the situation really is.

"How caring," Hanzo spoke as they arrived at his home. The got inside and took their shoes off at the front door.

"Of course," she replied before heading towards the kitchen to make tea. Hanzo wasn't sick but he's been tired lately and what's wrong with sleeping in for one day? When he got the tea, it no doubt tasted way too bitter as Y/N doesn't really know what she's doing to be honest. But hey, it's the thought that counts.

Hanzo lied in bed, with an empty cup by his side and an small girl on the other. She sat on the bed, talking to him quietly about a bunch of random things until she said something strange. "To be honest, I know this is weird, but it almost feels like we're married sometimes. I mean, we're together all the time and have a very close friendship. You let me drag you in here and give you bitter tea even though you didn't want to. That's really nice, hehe," she giggled as she looked over at Hanzo. Her eyes shun something different from simply joy this time. Instead, it showed rather care. And potentially something more.

Hanzo felt a shiver go down his spine as he looked deep into Y/N's eyes. Emhe had to examine them to ensure that he wasn't just crazy or actually sick, but no, it looked like she really did care about him more than a friend. After all these months, it was officially, wasn't it? It was mutual. Hanzo smiled as he sat up on the bed. Y/N's cheeks lit up a little bit as he stared down at her with that look.

"Sometimes it really does feel like that, does it not? I can see as a good pair to be truthful. What about you?" Hanzo asked softly. Y/N cheeks flushed pink and her expression softened.

"I agree, definitely. I mean, how can I not, heh heh. You've been there from the very beginning and I've always seen you as this big, strong teddy bear of sorta. So sweet, so nice, so caring," she replied. Hanzo leaned in, making Y/N want to lean in too. And slowly, the pair came together and finally...they kissed. It was soft, tender, and it felt like it was meant to happen. Y/N's face turned red and Hanzo's tense emotions he felt disappeared immediately.

Heh, you know what? To be honest, they lady next door was known to be crazy about losing her baby girl a very long time ago. They had matching necklaces that were bought from a village far away from their's years ago when the Shirai Ryu was attacked by Quan Chi's forces. She escaped and went into hiding, and then found a man to marry to. Her child was named Y/N L/N, and whether she's not fully Japanese or fully related into the Japanese clan, she is blood and therefore she is capable of being the love of Hanzo Hisashi. Maybe the two of them will meet some day, huh?

[fakeikemen]

The "Cave of Two Lovers" foreshadows the Zutara interactions in "Crossroads of Destiny"

[And maybe after that too; (yeah this part will be purely based on speculation)]

(See also: A meta that everybody has already written but I haven't because I was living under a rock and watched Avatar very recently)

Like seriously, it is so obvious? I see people try to interpret "The Legend Of Oma and Shu" in so many other ways; like yeah, you're free to interpret it however you want but— most people try to make sense of it while thinking that the tale is just a random occurrence? But it's not.

And here's why:

(I'm so sorry, I tried to add the "keep reading" link here because this gets kinda long but it just won't work) (Also click on the pictures if you want better resolution).

The tale of Oma and Shu is about two lovers who belonged to villages that were at war against each other. To continue meeting each other, they learnt earthbending to create caves in the mountain that divides the two villages. But one day Shu didn't come to the caves. He'd died in the war. So Oma unleashed a terrifying display of her power. And then when people were willing to listen to her, she called off the war and strived for peace between both the villages. As a result the city of Omashu was created— as a monument in remembrance of their love.

So in comparison:

1. Two people belonging to the opposite sides of the war

(Other than the 100 year old war that has been going on, Zuko and Katara are involved in a very fundamental conflict: Capture the Avatar Vs. Protect the Avatar.)

2. With the same colour scheme:

3. Share intimate moments in a cave lit by green crystals:

A popular argument for this comparison is that; Oma and Shu had a positive impressions of each other when they first met. Unlike Zuko and Katara where Katara's first impression of Zuko was pretty negative because he invaded her village.

Zuko and Katara's first proper conversation happens in "Crossroads of Destiny" i.e.; the scene I'm talking about here. After this interaction that they have, I think it's safe to say that they did have positive impressions of each other. (Until Zuko made the wrong choice.)

Other than that, about the colour scheme being a coincidence: Here and here are posts by @marsreds about how the colours are definitely not a coincidence.

But seriously guys? Oma and Shu were the FIRST EARTHBENDERS and yet, instead of greens and yellows they were designed with RED and BLUE?!? (I'll take about Oma's green dress below.)

And on that note, why were Zuko and Katara the only ones who were thrown into the catacombs when everybody else was being held at the dungeons? The dungeons wouldn't have been easy to escape, neither for Zuko nor for Katara.

It's because Zuko and Katara were meant to share an intimate moment in a cave that was supposed to jog our visual memory to remind us of the caves built by Oma and Shu.

(Seriously though, I wasn't really paying attention during CoTL and thought that the Omashu legend was just put in to consume screen time, so I missed the red/blue thing. But then I watched CoD and saw the catacombs and I was like: "Isn't this like that cave made by the lovers?" And then I proceeded to have an oh shit moment because, I knew that Zutara was not canon so I never even considered the possibility of the narrative hinting at anything between them but then this happened. I mean, it's pretty darn obvious).

The colour of the crystals being the same in both caves is no coincidence either— if they just wanted two random caves with crystals, then they could've used a different colour because crystals of different colours exist:

Moving on,

The Visual Cues:

According to the colour coding Zuko = Oma (red) and Katara = Shu (blue).

So,

EXHIBIT A:

I feel like this one speaks for itself.

(I personally think that in this parallel Oma is in red because Katara at this point still sees Zuko as the face of the Fire Nation.)

EXHIBIT B:

This sequence of frames show Oma (dressed in green, like Zuko was in the catacombs) and Shu (dressed in his usual blue), standing on neutral territory and reaching out to each other and then being torn apart by the war.

Pretty much like:

The first time they are in each other's presence without the cause of their conflict (i.e. the Avatar), Zuko and Katara reach out to each other empathetically and attain bone deep understanding of each other within a matter of minutes. This whole encounter is in Ba Sing Se, which counts for the neutral territory because it hadn't been completely taken over by Fire Nation at that point.

And honestly? The raw vulnerability and intimacy of this scene and the high emotional energy of their powerful dynamic is just— wow. (I put off my binging spree for a whole day because I didn't have the heart to see Zutara not become canon after all of this.)

And soon after, Zuko and Katara face each other in battle, their tentative friendship torn apart, as they fight from their respective sides of the war.

EXHIBIT C:

Whenever Oma and Shu appear in the same frame during the visualization of the legend, Oma is always on the left half of the frame and Shu is on the right.

Similarly, throughout all their interactions in the Catacombs, whenever the frame exclusively includes Zuko and Katara, Zuko (like Oma) is on the left half of the frame and Katara (like Shu) is on the right.

The parallels (or foils rather):

#1

In CoTL, we see Song who is a healer (cures Iroh of his poisoning). She mentions that she hasn't seen her father since a Fire Nation raid took place in her village. Zuko empathises with her and says that he too hasn't seen his father in a long while. But then he refuses to say anything else about it.

Later Song tries to reach out to Zuko and tries to touch his scar— which Zuko prevents her from. She shows Zuko her own scars to show that she understood him.

And yet, Zuko doesn't open up to her.

After a while of life-changing and eye-opening experiences, in CoD, when Katara has her meltdown and cries while saying that her mother was snatched away from her by the Fire Nation; Zuko sees an opening to offer an olive branch and he takes it, he empathises with her and tells her that how his mother was snatched away by the Fire Nation as well.

Then Zuko opens up to Katara in a show of complete vulnerability. He openly talks about his scar and what he feels about it. In response, Katara offers to heal his scar and then Zuko lets her touch his scar.

It was nothing but a deliberate choice to make Song slightly parallel Katara (a healer, lost a parent because of the war) and then making Zuko not open up to her and not let her touch the scar, only for Katara to be the one he opened up to and allowed to touch the scar.

#2

After being trapped with Aang in the cave in CoTL and sharing an intimate moment with him, as soon as they find their way out, Katara runs straight ahead without looking back.

But after her time with Zuko, trapped in the Catacombs in CoD, while leaving she turns back to look at Zuko.

Judging by the amount of time the animation puts into showing us Aang's disappointment at Katara running off and into making it clear that Katara did look back at Zuko and that Zuko looked right back at her, to me, it feels like the choice to show this was pretty deliberate.

(Turning back to look at a person while leaving is a romantic trope that has been overused to death? Or is it just bollywood?)

Also I wouldn't have paid this much attention to this small detail if not for the fact that just a hint of the Omashu legend theme is played here?

No, I swear I'm not making it up.

The Omashu legend theme is used in CoD:

The Omashu legend theme is largely dominated by the music of a stringed instrument (forgive me, I don't know what it's called) alongwith a steady melody playing in the background.

In CoD, when Katara and Zuko start conversing for real, (i.e.; when Katara says: "I'm sorry I yelled at you.") what sounds like a variation of the background melody in the Omashu legend theme, starts its subtle ascent as the background score, but sans the music of the stringed instrument.

It is when Katara says: "Maybe you could be free of it." [About Zuko's scar], when then first hint of the stringed instrument is heard. It is only a single note of the strings but it's there. And this "single note" sound keeps on repeating at regular intervals with the melody building up until Aang and Iroh burst into the catacombs.

But then, when Katara is leaving with Aang and she turns back to look at Zuko, this time the music that plays for a few seconds at best, is dominated by the stringed instrument again and this time it's unmistakable.

Also I don't think this music is used anywhere else in the course of the whole show? So it can't really be a coincidence? But I don't really know. I'm saying this on the basis of as far as my memory can reach.

And this is as far as canon stands testimony to what I am trying to say here.

But what about the second half of the story yk, the dying thing, you say?

Well this is where the speculations come in.

Speculation Time:

#1

As a thumb rule, a romance foreshadowed by a tragic tale is meant to have a happy ending.

So this time when Katara's (Shu) life is in danger (Azula's lightning bolt), Zuko (Oma) steps in at the nick of time to save her life (by jumping infront of Katara to intercept the lightning).

(Since I have crossed the limit of images in a post, here is a post by @araeph which illustrates this point.)

Yes, I am completely aware that Zuko taking the lightning bolt for Katara is not his declaration of love for her. What I mean to say is that the whole scene was so very painfully obviously romantically framed (the immediate change in music when Zuko realises where the lightning bolt was headed, both of their expressions, Zuko's agonized "Nooooo", the slow-mo throughout the shot).

I am also aware that Zuko would've taken the lightning bolt for anyone. But it is the narrative that demands that Zuko take the lightning bolt for Katara and Katara only. Because this has atleast 10 different payoffs (a direct callback to the Book 2 finale where Azula had shot Aang with the lightning; the grief of which was for Katara to bear but this time Zuko himself stands between the lightning and Katara instead of being the silent spectator, the culmination of both Zuko and Katara's personal character arcs, Zuko's scar would parallel Aang's: Aang got it because he chose Katara over the world and Zuko got it because he was willing to give up the world to save Katara, etc, etc).

Tl;dr: The lightning scene wouldn't hold all that much weight if it wasn't Zuko taking the hit for Katara because the narrative literally demands it.

#2

This is where we start wading into really murky waters.

From mucking around on Tumblr due to Zutara feels™, I came across this post where some of the ideas for Book 4 were written:

• The Southern Water Tribe experienced the longest series of attacks from the Fire Nation. Zuko and Katara become political partners and work together to help end the animosity and repair relations between their two nations.

• Just like how Zuko learned to appreciate the Earth Kingdom, he would learn to appreciate the Water Tribes. Katara also learns to respect the complexity of Fire Nation culture. There is no such thing as an “evil” nation.

And that basically means that Zuko and Katara would've been working together to de-escalate the hostility between their respective nations and improve the relations between the two nations, while learning about each other's cultures simultaneously as the world would be in the process of being rebuilt after the war and they would be major role-players in shaping the new world.

Which is quite similar to how Oma strived for peace between the two villages and then as a result of the improved relations between the villages, the city of Omashu was built as a monument to the love story of Oma and Shu; which might just be symbolic of building a new world where both the villages could live in peace due to the initiative taken by Oma on behalf of herself and Shu.

The story would've come a full circle; that's all I'm saying.

If you've stuck around for this long, thank you for taking the time to read this long ass post with points that you may already have read ♥️

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Last First Kiss

Summary - Jensen finally lets his feelings towards you known but it doesn't get the reaction he had anticipated.

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen x OFC!Jessica (brief)

Characters - Jared Padalecki, Gen Padalecki, OMC Mark, OMC Luke, OFC Jessica

Warnings - Fluff, Insecurities, Bad dates, Implied smut, Language, Angst-ish, happy ending

Square Filled - Valentines Day ( @anyfandomgoesbingo ) Jared Padalecki ( @spndeanbingo )

Word Count - 2262

A/N - Written for my 500 Followers challenge

Request by @akshi8278 - Hi, once again congratulations on your 500 followers. 🥳🎉 Could you write number 23 and 25 for Jensen. It could be fluff/ smut, whatever you want. Thank you 😊 (I added a little bit of angst for the course of the story. Hope you like it!)

This is also a submission to @negans-lucille-tblr' 6k Roll The Dice Challenge

Unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. Prompts are in bold.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

You trudged down the empty hallway, your body slumped with exhaustion and feet hurting from wearing the ridiculously high heels to impress a man who never showed up. The silence in the empty halls was deafening unlike the crowded diner which was buzzing with lovestruck couples on the fine evening of Valentine’s Day. When you reached his door, you were barely hanging in there. Hesitantly, you knocked twice, immediately cursing yourself for fucking up his Valentines Day as well.

“Y/N?” Jensen tilted his head in confusion at your dejected state. “What happened?”

“I am done with dating.” A stray tear rolled down your cheek as you replied. Jensen pursed his lips as he opened the door wider to let you in. He threw an arm over your shoulder, guiding you towards the couch.

“Mike was a douchebag.” He said, as you plopped down on the blue couch.

“His name is Mark.” You rolled your eyes at him, “I dressed up all for nothing. I am done trying to find the perfect man. I will get a cat and become a cat lady. At least it will show up when we have a cat date with cat food and pizza.”

“You can't just swore off dating because Macaroni didn't show up.” Jensen smirked. “You just haven't met the right person yet.”

“I got stood up thrice within a span of two months. I surely know how to pick them.”

“Sweetheart, I'm so sorry but I know you'll definitely meet the right person. It's just a matter of time.” He rubbed your arm as you snuggled closer to him. “Should we order takeout? I am starving.”

“Mhm. I wouldn't mind some chinese. I'm sorry that I fucked up your plans for the night.” You said.

“I didn't exactly have anything better to do. Spending time with you is much better than third wheeling Jared and Gen.” He chuckled.

“What am I doing wrong, Jay? Something is definitely wrong with me or the entire male population is a douchebag.” You sighed, as Jensen took out his phone to place an order in your favourite Chinese restaurant.

“Y/N/N, nothing's wrong with you and there are good men out there in the world.” He said.

“They are all taken.” You replied, nonchalantly.

“I'm not.” Jensen said and your heart skipped a beat at his words.

“Maybe I was too blind to notice it,” you wanted to say instead you blurted out, “You're my best friend, Jensen.”

His hands dropped to the side as he visibly tensed up. An unbearable silence followed the awkward conversation. You could barely look at the actor beside you who was staring off into the distance, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Fortunately you were both saved from further conversation by the delivery guy.

You bit down on your lip to stop the yawn that was threatening to leave as you pretended to listen to the man in front of you complain about his work life. You hummed along to the man’s words as your mind reeled back to that night at Jensen's house. You still didn't know why you didn't speak about your true feelings. Even though his little confession didn't break you two up, whenever you used to hang out, a discomfort lingered in the air and so you had ditched the weekly movie night the day before.

After another painfully long hour, your extremely bad date came to a very fortunate end. As a sign of politeness, you had agreed with Luke, your date, when he had offered to drop you at your doorstep. With no promises for a second date, you had left Luke’s car after successfully dodging his attempt at a kiss. You sprinted across the usually empty hallway and found yourself in front of Jensen's room. You knocked at his door.

“So I was on a date and oh god, time wasn't passing by at all! Luke was such a boring guy. I surely do know how to pick the guys- and I'm so sorry I didn't come yesterday for our weekly movie night-” You rambled on as soon as Jensen opened the door without giving him a chance to pitch in his two cents.

“It's okay.” He finally spoke but his words were soon forgotten when you saw the half-naked brunette standing behind him, glaring at you.

“I'm sorry,” You turned your attention to the man in front and noticed the swollen lips, tousled hair and his unbuttoned jeans, “I didn't know you had company.”

“Next time try to call before you barge in complaining about yet another bad date.” Jensen grumbled, rolling his eyes before he shut his door to your face. You stared at the closed door, crestfallen as tears started to pool in your eyes. You made your way back to your room which was on the next floor in the same apartment building all the while wondering if your insecurities had really messed up a good friendship.

Jensen had neither heard nor seen you since he had closed the door on your face. He winced every time he remembered how rudely he had pushed you out of his apartment when Jessica was over. He was finally trying to move on since now he knew how you felt. Jensen was definitely hurt when you made it clear that you didn't reciprocate his feelings but he didn't hate you. You were still his best friend so it hurt when you had started to distance yourself from him, even ditching him on your weekly movie night. All that bottled up frustration had turned into anger when you had knocked on his door the next night to complain about your boring date but he still regretted the way he had told you off.

“Is Y/N going to come to Gen’s party?” Jared asked his tv brother during one of the takes.

“I don't know. Why don't you ask her yourself?” Jensen snapped as he went back to reading his script.

“What happened?” The hazel eyed actor frowned at his friend's behaviour.

“I haven't talked to her in weeks nor have I seen her.” Jensen grumbled.

“You two are like the Siamese twins and now you are saying you haven't even talked to her? Dude, what happened?” Jared asked. “Maybe you should talk to her.” He said after Jensen opened up about what happened.

“I have called her. Dozens of times. She is not picking up.” He scoffed.

“Gen is going to invite her I suppose. Maybe you can talk to her then.” Jared shrugged as they were called back on to set.

Jared was right about everything. You were invited to Gen’s backyard birthday party and so was Jensen. You had hesitated before you finally made up your mind to go to the Padaleckis' because you knew someday you had to face Jensen. When you had returned home that night, you had realised why no one was ever good enough for you since the perfect person for you was right in front of you but your insecurities had made you blind. You knew you had missed your chance when you had caught him with the brunette but what hurt more was when he shoved you out of his apartment.

Jensen had called you a dozen times but you hadn't picked up. You didn't know what to say and the longer you stayed away from him, your feelings for him grew stronger so instead you started to avoid him like plague, trying your best to move on.

The clinking sound of bottles behind you pulled you out from your deep thought.

“Hey.” Jensen awkwardly said.

“Hi.” You returned the same awkwardness.

“You weren't picking up my calls. I'm sorry for the other night.” He said, his gaze quickly dropping to the floor.

“It's all right.”

“No it's not. Then you wouldn't have avoided me.” He said. “I know things have been awkward since that night but no hard feelings. It's perfectly okay if you don't feel the same. I just want my best friend back.”

“I do feel the same.” You muttered quietly which made him look up to you. Jensen stared at you dumbfounded.

“Then why didn't you tell me?” He finally said.

“I panicked. I got scared because you know me, I don't do well with men and I thought if we didn't work out, I would lose you.” Your lips trembled ever so lightly as you stared into his green eyes.

“You won't ever lose me.” Jensen walked up to you, “Even if things don't work out relationship-wise. I will always be your best friend.”

“I don't wanna lose you. You're my person, Jay. So I lied not realising that I had pushed you away myself.” You said.

“I will always be your person just like you're mine but I can't fight this feeling anymore. I think I'm in love with you and I don't know what to do.” He said while walking up to you.

“Maybe you do know now.” He leaned down, cupping your face, his lips hovering over yours. You closed your eyes, feeling his hot breath fan against your skin but then you felt him pull back. You opened your eyes as you saw him stare at you with a look of regret in his eyes.

“I can't.” Jensen sighed.

“Why?”

“I have a girlfriend.” You gaped at him, heart broken into millions of pieces. Before Jensen could get another word out, you fled the scene.

“Hey Y/N.” Gen beamed. “Are you going home already?”

“Yeah I think I'm coming down with something. Sorry Gen. Happy birthday, again.” You said and wasted no time to get into your car and quickly drove back to your home.

Jensen had repeatedly called you since you had fled the Padaleckis’ house but you hadn't picked up. The first two days you had hardly left your house. You had been sobbing uncontrollably. You had bared your heart and soul to the man you had fallen head over heels only to get your heart broken.

You were lying on your couch, watching a sappy romantic movie when you heard a knock on your door. Pausing the movie midway you got up to open the door.

“Hi.” The green eyed man spoke quiet as when you opened the door. The sight of him brought tears to your eyes again. He was carrying a box of chocolate and a bottle of wine. “I would have brought flowers but I know how sad you get when they start to wilt.”

“What're you doing here?”

“I heard a guy hurt my best friend so I'm here with chocolates and wine.” He smirked. You snatched the box of chocolates from his hands as you held the door wide open.

“Sappy romantic comedy? Oh sweetheart, want me to kick the guy's ass? He deserves it. No one hurts my best friend.” He said as he pulled you into a tight hug. The intoxicating smell of his cologne finally breaking you. “I'm so sorry.”

“I'm so sorry too.” You sniffled as you looked up at him. “Our timings sucked.”

“It did. Can we start afresh?” Jensen smiled.

“What about your girlfriend? I don't wanna be your ‘slutty mistress’.” You said, quoting Grey’s Anatomy which made him chuckle.

“I broke up with her. I tried to date other girls to keep you off my mind but there wasn't a single damn second when you didn't cross my mind because I am totally, completely, hopelessly in love with you.” He grinned as he leaned down to kiss your cheek.

“I am in love with you too, Jay.” You said, “Kiss me.” Jensen dropped his head as he leaned into you, capturing your lips with his. His hands travelled all the way down your body before stopping at your waist. He gripped you tightly and pulled you closer, your hands landed on his biceps as you tried to steady yourself. His teeth grazed your lips lightly, making you moan into his mouth. Your hands left his biceps, hooking themselves at the nape of his neck, your fingers tugging at his hair, eliciting a groan out of him.

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you just that oblivious?” He growled into your ear.

“Is it working?” You smirked. Jensen growled once more into your ear before pulling away from you. He effortlessly picked you up, your legs hooking behind him as he went towards the bedroom.

Panting hard you tried to come down from your high as you felt him go soft before he pulled out. He placed a chaste kiss on your lips and rolled off to the side. His chest heaved as he tried to control his breathing, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Lost in an euphoric state, you didn't notice when Jensen had left the bed to get a cloth to clean you up. After a few minutes, he returned back to bed. You laid there in his arms, naked, basking in the afterglow of what was actually the best sex of your life. Jensen was tracing tiny, imperfect circles on your arm as a sigh of contentment left his lips. Your back flushed against his chest, smiling, you spoke.

“We might be each other’s last first kiss.” You turned towards, kissing the corner of his mouth.

“No more bad dates. No more bad first kisses. You're mine.” Jensen whispered.

“You're it. You're my person. My world is a better place with you in it.” You said, snuggling against his warm chest. “I love you.”

Feedback is highly appreciated!

[firemanwhenthefloodsrollback]

side character deaths in buffy

I've been thinking a lot recently about death in buffy, mainly inspired by Help and everything that has to say to us about avoiding, accepting and understanding death

obviously the main characters' deaths are heartbreaking, because they're written to be heartbreaking and break our relationships with characters we love and know well. buffy (twice), angel, spike, joyce, tara, anya, and all the many alternate universe and dream vision deaths that kill the main characters rip my heart out of my chest for obvious reasons. but today I've been thinking more about the deaths of people we didn't know that well and whose deaths we watch without knowing them well. so I'm gonna talk about some of those cause it's my blog and you can't stop me.

(for the purposes of this post I'm counting main characters as anyone who was in the credits, with the addition of joyce because come on)

Deputy Mayor Allan Finch/Warren in Bad Girls and Villains

These two deaths both make you gasp for the same reason - they're sudden, physically icky (warren has the edge here with the flaying but the dark blood and death rattle for allan is also horrible to watch) and while we don't have a lot of positive feelings for the victim, we gasp because of what it means for the murderers and how we suddenly realised this season is going to get darker than we thought. faith and willow both spend the rest of their time on the show dealing with the consequences of these deaths and the audience knows in the moment they happen what it has to mean for the main characters. we want to save faith and willow from the consequences of having done this. just like faith, we're confused in the dark when a figure comes towards the slayers and we don't realise what's happening immediately, and with willow we've been watching her friends approach through the forest the whole time she's giving her evil speech thinking they have to be in time to stop her because no way would the writers let willow torture a man to death on screen. If warren or the deputy mayor had died because of a demon or accident we probably wouldn't have noticed (in the deputy mayor's case) or we'd have actively applauded (I rly wanted to watch warren die).

Jesse in The Harvest

I'm guilty of forgetting about Jesse (and so is the buffy writers room when they fail to mention him for seven years) but killing off a character who looked all set to become a scooby in the pilot and then making his best friend dust him as a vampire was both shocking and showed us a lot of the issues the show would go on to consider in miniature, right at the start. we've had campy vampires running around and wisecracking, we've had vampires being cool and edgy, the master being a total ham, but then we suddenly have to watch xander grapple with the idea that vampires are more than strangers in graveyards, they're the people you knew with yellow eyes and no soul, they can talk to you with all their childhood memories of you intact. season one might do a lot of floppy cardboard monsters but Jesse's death tells us they fully intend to Go There with the horrifying psychological implications of what vampires can do to you.

Jenny Calendar and Kendra Young in Passion and Becoming

I think of these deaths together because they were both characters that we half-knew and thought we'd get to know more. they were both characters who we felt could have gone on to be in the credits, have their own plots, and had a lot left to explore on the show. having two slayers in town could have been interesting (and would go on to be interesting in season three) and as well as her love story with Giles, we'd just had the veil pulled back about Jenny's heritage and reason for coming to Sunnydale - so both of these deaths were in the horrible sweet spot of having got to know the characters more than someone like Jesse, but not feeling 'done' with them yet. they were both killed by vampires who didn't even feed on them, by neck injuries that weren't bites by 'big bad' vampires who were really after someone else. after their deaths they both set more in motion and had long thematic afterlives - we think about Kendra when faith is called, and when we meet the potentials, and Jenny gives us the soul curse and gets willow started casting spells. Kendra definitely deserved more remembering than she got, and in a world where Joss Whedon had more time for Black characters I like to think we'd have got more of her and Mr Pointy.

the normal teens buffy couldn't save

before I started writing this post, I knew this was where we were going to end up.

(Jonathan maybe doesn't totally count here but I did because his final lines made me so sad)

characters who chose to join a battle between good and evil and died as part of that fight break my heart, but at least with Jenny and Kendra they knew at least partly what they were signing up for. Larry and Harmony we knew enough to have compassion for, and even when they were mean they were mean in regular school kid ways rather than big bad evil ways. I went to school with all of these people and probably so did everyone else.

Larry and Harmony died on graduation day when they were meant to be becoming adults under posters that said 'the future is ours' - Larry was newly out as gay and Harmony was about to get out from under the popular girls and maybe become a person who could stand on her own two feet, and Buffy could have helped them if there'd been less murder and death going on everywhere around them. harmony as a screaming blonde teen was exactly the type of victim buffy saves ten times an episode in alleys outside the bronze. Jonathan had more of an arc but at the end, back in high school after making an optimistic, bittersweet speech about coming to terms with high school and being optimistic about the rest of his life, leaving behind Andrew and Warren's bitter obsessive revenge of the nerds fantasies.

and Cassie, my heartbreaking queen, the one that gets me more than anyone that I wrote about a lot yesterday, knew what was coming and that no one could save her, and all the things she listed that she knew she'd miss were teenage coming of age things. she wanted to go backpacking, attend college, go to a dance with a boy, and fall in love one day. the whole of Help, she's considering the rites of passage she won't get to do, and in her therapy sessions Buffy tries to inspire her to want to go to college or join the french foreign legion. for buffy, saving Cassie means giving her a future. we haven't met the potentials or heard the word potential yet in Help but this episode is all about potential, and Buffy's attempts to save a life meaning safeguarding someone's potential and right to grow up.

[unknownwriting]

Ruin Our Friendship

[Part 2]

Summary: Poor Ace has fallen head over heels for his best friend but he's scared that he'll ruin their friendship if he tells her. (pt. 1)  

Characters: Portgas D. Ace

Song Inspiration: Jenny by Studio Killers

Work count: 1.6k

Notes: Omg I love Ace so much and I miss him so much too. I wish I could find more fanfics with him ☹️

━━☆⌒*.

Loud music and laughed filled the college bar, as everyone celebrated the beginning of the weekend. It's not rare to have parties like these every Friday, the weekend is the only free time said students can relax and party. While shouts of laughter ring from the happy drunk, cries of stress and sadness can be heard from the sad drunks too. One sound of drunken cries can be heard from a college regular who always companied with his friends. Portgas D. Ace, a junior in college who seems to be having a bit a girl problems at the moment.

"I just don't understand why this has to be so hard. Why can't I just tell her!?" The jet-black haired male cried out slamming his beer onto the bar, along with his head. His friends looked down at him, all thinking the same question.

"You've never had trouble before. Just tell her, she probably won't even shoot you down. And if she does, a bunch of other girls would be happy with you." His close friend Thatch tried to soothe the younger man with his girl problems. It was true though, Ace never seemed to have any problems with any girl so what made this girl so special. Why can't he just come out and say it?

"I wanna but (Y/n)'s my best friend and if she doesn't like me, it's just gonna make things soooo awkward." Ace exclaimed picking his head back up and looking over at Thatch. With his ears ringing from the noise and his head hurting from the alcohol, he found it hard to think straight. Ace didn't mean for the night to go this away either but after a few cups, he just couldn't help himself from talking about it. It's been a while since he first fell in love with his best friend and the feelings don't seem to be fading anytime soon, they only continued to grow. Although he's dated others before these feels seem to be so new to him, he couldn't help but overthink them. At one point, he honestly thought he had heart failure. His eyes fell back down to his beer as he mumbled, "I don't wanna ruin our friendship..."

"Then don't." Another voice, Macro, chimed in as he's finished his drink. The others looked at him clearly confused and raised an eyebrow.

"Huh?" Seeing how the 2 of them didn't understand at all, Marco sighed as he began to explain what he means.

"Decide whether or not you wanna date her. Because being friends and being lovers are 2 different things. So make sure you wanna actually date her before you make your move." Marco explained, clearing up the confusion for Thatch but not for Ace. He still looked at Marco with confusion. Ace knows (Y/n) like the back of his hand, so why would she be any different from his lover. Now that Marco tried to explain his thoughts, Thatch took over hopefully to clear up at least some of the confusion.

"Take her on a practice date."

"A practice date?"

"Yeah. Invite her to an amusement park or a movie and see how it goes. Just make sure you don't bring up it being a practice date and all." Thatch explained. Ace looked at him, slowly coming around to the idea, and once he was able to understand the idea his eyes lit up. It wasn't a bad idea, going on a date with (Y/n). He thought about how it would be a go on a date with her and how cute she would end up being. However, the more he thought about the idea didn't make much sense to him after all. Wouldn't it just be like going to an amusement park with his best friend?

"Uh...but isn't that the same as hanging out with her?" Ace questioned already feeling sober. The idea completely sobered him up, as if he hadn't had any beer tonight.

"Tell her that you are inviting her to a date and I promise you it won't feel the same." Thatch laughed, slapping Ace's back, "If you tell a girl it's a date I guarantee she's gonna be a completely different person."

"But you said not to tell her it a-"

"Just ask her!"

ミ☆

After a long night of Macro and Thatch trying to help out their dense friend, they finally got Ace to ask (Y/n) out. It took a bit longer for him to build up the guts to ask her but it didn't come as a surprise when she ended up saying yes. Marco and Thatch heard of (Y/n), they've seen her around school and heard so many stories about her from Ace. They haven't met yet with her being a year below Ace, but they already knew what she was like. Of course, she was gonna say yes because she's just that nice of a person, even though the date was very last minute. With Ace going on a date, the 3 of them had called it an early night and helped Ace with a few things, like buy the tickets and planning out his outfit. Once all of that was done, all Ace has to do is go on this date with his best friend, which sounds more stressful than it was. He ended up arriving a bit early but it wasn't long till (Y/n) had shown up.

"Ya'know, I was a bit surprised when you asked me on a date. I almost thought you didn't have it in you." (Y/n) teases as she walked up to Ace, who leaned against the railing of the entrance, scrolling through his phone. Once her cheery voice filled his ears though, he quickly perked up and dropped his phone to his side.

"Didn't have it in me?" Ace questioned, raising an eyebrow and checking (Y/n) out. Thatch was right, mention 'date' to any girl and they will certainly prepare for it. She wore a simple outfit: shorts, a cute top, and a long cardigan to cover up. She's never been on for accessories but a small backpack covered her back. It really wasn't any different from an outfit she would wear to class but there was something about her now that just seemed different. Maybe it was the glow of her skin, or the bright smile on her pink stained lips, or the sparkle in her (e/c) eyes. It was as if Ace was seeing her for the first time again. That's when the nerves kicked in. His heart began to race, butterflies began to set in his stomach and his palms began to turn all sweaty. It was obvious that Ace had it bad. Real bad.

"Well seeing how dense you are, I just-"

"You look so pretty." Ace had blurted out, cutting (Y/n) off. Not only did he cut her off but it completely caught her off guard too. A small blush crept up to her cheeks and she let the compliment sink in. (Y/n) took a moment too long because Ace began to worry and definitely began to panic. The date had barely even started and he already messed up. But before he could even think about it long, (Y/n) giggled softly and smiled back up at Ace.

"You think so? I wasn't sure what to wear so I chose to keep it simple. I didn't want to show up too fancy when all we're doing is going to an amusement park." (Y/n) happily explained, loving the comment so much. It was that reaction that gave Ace the boost of confidence he needed. With the butterflies still in his stomach, he smiled brightly down at her thinking that maybe the feelings just might be mutual. Maybe (Y/n) could feel the same way about Ace.

"W-we should probably get going then. I don't want the lines to get long." Ace cleared his throat, as he turned on his heel and faced the entrance. (Y/n) raised an eyebrow at his suddenly shy behavior, but seeing how she somewhat already knew what the reason was, she didn't press the matter. A teasing smirk fell over her lips as her eyes trailed down to Ace's hand that hug at his side. This was a date, after all, might as well treat it like one. Jumped right to his side, (Y/n) grabbed his large, warm hand and intertwined her fingers with his, sending chills down her back. Before Ace could even react, (Y/n) laughed out loud and began to skip off with Ace's warm hand still in hers.

"Let's go ride all the rides!!" (Y/n) cheered loudly, dragging a confused Ace behind her. Once he finally realized what the situation was, his face burst into a million shades of red. The last thing he had expect was to feel her hands within his. His heart began to race as he took a moment to just try and process. Ace didn’t think (Y/n) would act like this one a date, whenever the 2 of then hung out (Y/n) would always end up commenting on how she doesn’t need a boyfriend. So it’s safe to say that was one of Ace’s concerns, she always says that so what makes Ace thinks that she would say yes. Yet here they are holding hands and going on a date, something (Y/n) said she wouldn’t have time for. Although all those thoughts seem to disappear when he felt her hands within his. They were so soft and warm and felt so small in his. Filling her hands oddly made him relax and calm down. With a sigh of relief, Ace caught up with (Y/n) so he wasn’t stumbling and smiled down at her. 

Maybe today will but just as he imagined