#But we're getting back into it we're getting into it it's alright

[surielstea]

In The Act

Based on this request.

Pairing: Modern!Azriel x Reader

Summary: In which Cassian catches Azriel and Reader who had been trying so hard to keep their relationship a secret.

Warnings: fluff | Az openly being a perv

2.6k words

"We've got to get ready Az," I murmur into his bare shoulder and he groans, pulling the sheets over our heads. I look up at him in the darkness of the blankets. "We're going to be late," I warn but he doesn't reply and rolls over, half of his body crushing me into the mattress.

"We should just stay here all day," He says, his voice still deeper than usual with the effects of sleep.

We were supposed to meet our friends for a late breakfast in less than half an hour but Azriel and I haven't even left the bed yet.

"Az, c'mon," I ran a hand through his hair, tussling it from his face while he rolled off of me, gripping my waist and taking me with him, forcing me on top of his chest.

"I'm not ready to stop being your boyfriend yet," He sighs and a smile tugs at my lips at the sentiment. "You don't have to stop, just don't mention it," I shrug, leaning forward and pressing a tender kiss to his lips which he returned with equal devotion.

We had been keeping our relationship secret from the rest of our friends for the past month, it had been only a week after I broke up with my previous boyfriend when Az and I got together— and though I trusted everyone in my friend group to keep me and Az a secret, I couldn't risk word getting out and being eternally slut shamed for the rest of my young adulthood.

"Just wait it out a few more weeks alright? Then I promise you can tell everyone I'm all yours," I hum with a cheeky smile, slowly dragging my hands up his arms and then around the nape of his neck so my chest was flush with his.

"All mine," He says with a look in his eyes that made my heart swell.

"But only if you get ready," I slide from his lap and off the bed, despite his protests.

"Gods, you're gorgeous in the mornings," He admires as he watches me stretch, his eyes particularly staring at the way my shirt lifts to expose the curve of my ass when I extend my arms upward. I yawn and take off the oversized tee, walking towards the closet in nothing but my underwear. "So gorgeous," He mumbles, mostly to himself so I pretend not to hear, but my soft smile remains.

I picked out a simple summer dress, a pale blue color with thin straps that accentuated my figure nicely. I turn to my boyfriend, looking at him, still sprawled out in the bedsheets unabashedly staring at me with so much adoration in his gaze. The warm blankets were welcoming enough, but with him in it, the bed might as well have been screaming my name.

I walk closer, closing the distance between me and the bedside. His eyes light up like he recognizes that I'm about to crawl back into bed, but instead of clambering over him, I lean down, my nose brushing his. "If you're not ready in the next ten minutes I'm revoking kisses for the rest of the week," I warn and his eyes widen a fraction, then they oddly relax.

"You couldn't keep that up if you tried," He says with a polished grin. I shrug and then begin to back away but he catches me by the back of my neck and keeps me close. "Wait I'll get ready, just give me a kiss," He immediately switches his tone and I can't help but give in, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his lips.

"Now do I need to help you get dressed or can you get ready by yourself?" I tease as soon as I pull away and he shakes his head, playfully pushing me away as I giggle.

The car ride had been silent for the most part, other than the music playing steadily from the radio and my botched singing. But Azriel didn't mind, just placed his hand on my thigh and continued driving with a soft hum emitting through his lips.

"You ready to ignore me all breakfast?" I say with a cheeky smile as he pulls into the parking lot.

"Don't remind me," He groans and I only laugh with a light-hearted attitude. He puts the car in park and looks at me with a pout.

"I appreciate you for being patient with me," I cup his face in my hands. "I promise I'll be so good to you tonight," I grin, leaning over the center console and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"I just want to look at your ass in public without Cassian calling me out," He mutters and I chuckle, giving him an amused grin.

"How romantic," I taunt, ghosting the words over his lips. "And, because I want to take you on dates," He argues.

"Oh, I'm sure," I say, my words laced with sarcasm.

"Swear it, I can't wait to take you to your favorite restaurants," He said, fingers dancing along my thigh. I wait for him to finish that sentence. "And so I can see you in those obnoxiously tight dresses."

"There he is." I grin.

He rolls his eyes and presses his lips to mine, soft and tender, a silent goodbye because he knows that for the next hour, he won't be able to stare at me with every chance he gets. "I'll go in first, alright?" I whisper softly against his lips and he nods, pulling away and slumping into his seat.

I open the car door and give him one last look before closing it behind me. We carpooled so often it had become routine to enter a place separately, either he or I would go in first, wait a few minutes, and then the other would enter so as to not raise suspicion.

On my way inside I spotted Cassian and Nesta approaching the entrance so I held the door open, greeting them with a smile. "Morning," Cassian wiggled his brows at me and I creased my own, confused at his awfully amused tone. I look to Nesta for answers but she offers none and only gives me a smirk, doubling my confusion.

I walk behind them, following them to a table where Rhys, Feyre, and Morrigan already sat chatting. They all looked up at us with wide smiles as we seated ourselves, leaving two empty chairs to the right of me.

"I love your dress," Morrigan said from my left side, pinching the fabric between her painted nails. I smile over at her.

"Thanks, Mor," I bump her shoulder.

"How do you look so good so early in the morning?" I ask and she beams.

"It takes hard work to look this magnificent," She fans herself and I chuckle.

"It seems to pay off—" I stop my next words when someone sits beside me. I turned my head to spot Azriel doing his best to ignore me, but he was awfully obvious with the way he inched his chair closer to mine whenever adjusting his position.

"Az I haven't seen you in forever, where have you been?" I tease him, deciding that this game would be a cruel kind of fun. He looks to me, clearly unamused. But the grin on my face is contagious and sooner or later I have a gentle smile coming to his features.

"Been busy with work," He shrugs. "Plus I've been talking to this new girl," He adds.

"Who?" Morrigan gasps, now entirely interested in the gossip.

"When can we meet her?" Feyre asks with an eager smile.

"Do you like her?" Rhys crosses his arms over his chest.

"Yes, and not anytime soon," He warns the golden brunette.

"Is she the one?" I impose as a mere taunt but he looks to me with utter seriousness and a lack of hesitance.

"I think so," He answers, and something about his voice was so very honest. It was hard not to crumble into his arms, hard not to press my lips against his and melt into his every crevice.

Cassian coughs and we all look at him in concern, dropping the subject of Azriel's new girlfriend, but the tall male only dismisses us with a wave of his hand as he drinks from his water. "Don't tell me the party started without me," A familiar cold voice stated and we all looked to Amren with cheerful smiles as Rhys said, "We wouldn't dare."

Halfway into eating our food Azriel had gotten a text. I was acutely aware of everything he did, so when he pulled out his phone to check the message and choked on his food I startled. The male rarely gave away any form of a reaction so when he jumped we all looked at him confused.

But he only looked at Cassian, then to me. He discreetly passed me the phone beneath the table and then continued eating.

The message had been from Cassian, and it was not words but an image, one of me and Azriel in his car, noses touched, staring at each other with a pure expression of love. The image rocked me. Not only because it had been revealed that Cassian knew, and most likely Nesta, too, but because of the way he looked at me. I hadn't realized how obvious it must've been to all our friends that we were irrevocably in love with each other.

I look to Azriel, then to Cassian, panicked. Cassian mindlessly dug into his food as if he had no idea what he had just stirred.

"Excuse me, I fear I've grown faint," I stand, making a show out of clutching my stomach. "Oh no, do you need anything?" Feyre said with pure concern that I admired. "I'm sure it'll pass, excuse me," I clear my throat tucking my chair in then navigating my way towards the washroom.

"I'm going to check on her," Azriel silently got up, dismissing himself. "Cass, I could use some assistance,"  He added and the male who was gorging himself on food stopped his eating, only to look up at his brother. "Right," He set his fork down and chased after Azriel who did not wait for a reply and began to rush after me.

I stood in the secluded hallway, back leaning against the door of the female bathrooms. Two males approached and I squared my features, wondering what part it was I would be playing in front of Cassian. I looked to Azriel for answers but his stoic features offered me none.

"Care to explain?" Cassian immediately interrogated and Azriel shifted to my side so we were both facing the other male, a clear line drawn between us.

"What do you mean Cass?" I ask, feigning innocence. He deadpanned, but inevitably pulled his phone from his pocket and brought up the incriminating photo, noses touching, hands all over each other.

"That's not me," Azriel denies.

"Oh really?" Cassian zooms in on the image, putting Azriel's face so clearly on display. We both swallow thickly.

"Every person has seven doppelgängers each, must be one of them," The male shrugs innocently and I look at him with creased brows, he had to have known how ignorant that had sounded, right?

"You have the same tattoos," Cassian narrows his eyes at his brother, as if he even had to argue. He had photographic proof in his very hands, there was nothing more to be said.

"So it's just a coincidence that both of your doppelgängers are at this diner right now and I just so happened to see?" He arches a brow and we both shrug. He looks to us, then to the image, then back to us as if we were genuinely convincing him.

"Alright fine, it's us," I confess and Azriel looks at me slightly shocked, I had been the one hiding this from them for so long, it was my rule. There was no way he was going to let some stupid coincidence ruin everything he's been trying so hard to hide. "I had something in my eye, she was helping me get it out," Azriel cuts in and I crease my brows, gazing at him with an odd look. "It looks wrong I know but we're not like that, could you imagine?" The male looks at me with a scoff and I feign a laugh at the idea. "Me and Az? Psh, never," I wave him off and Cassian's features settle. "Not in a million years," Azriel seconds, patting my head the way one might to a little sister, the action making me viscerally cringe but I managed to contain it with a smile.

"Alright, whatever you say," Cass mumbles, either believing us or giving up entirely because he knows we won't give in, he puts his phone back into his pocket with a defeated expression and some part of me feels bad for lying, he had us trapped in a corner and we just kicked him until he let us go. I look to Azriel, silently communicating my pity. He shakes his head no, but I keep nodding with a mischievous smile.

"Hey, you've got something on your lip," I say, bringing my hand up to his jaw then rising onto my toes and pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth. His hand wraps around my waist, pulling me closer greedily. I press a hand to his abdomen and push him away because I know he wouldn't have let me go otherwise. "There, got it," I swipe my thumb over his bottom lip and he only stares at me with such wonder in his eyes, like he had never seen anything greater.

I look back to Cassian and he just stands there, stunned. "Am I dreaming?" He mumbled and I only laughed while Azriel's hold tightened around me.

"You can tell Nes, but no one else alright?" I warn.

"Wait— I don't get more information than that?" Cassian whisper-shouted and I shook my head. "No, no, no. I deserve an explanation, Azriel has been talking my ears off for years about how badly he wants you—" Cassian begins to expose but my boyfriend smacks a hand over the other male's mouth before he gets the chance to finish.

"We don't have to get into the logistics, we'll explain later, we've been gone for too long," Azriel grits out then removes his hand. "Go on now." He shoos him with a hand gesture that makes his brother grit his teeth, but inevitably he spins on his heel and stomps away.

I let my concealed amusement bubble out the moment he turned the corner, out of earshot. "We'll tell the others tomorrow, I doubt Cass can keep his mouth shut for long," I point out and Azriel nods with a chuckle, loosening his hold around my waist. "Alright, c'mon," I intertwine our hands, tugging him down the hall but he pulls me right back to him, my body pressing into his chest with the sudden change of momentum.

"Hold on, you've got something on your lip," He repeats, his thumb pulls at my bottom lip and I roll my eyes with a soft grin, rising onto my toes and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, warmth spreading through my body as he fills me entirely with tenderness.

"Is it gone?" I mumble when he pulls away a fraction. His gaze wanders over my lips.

"Let me check," he leans back in and I giggle into his mouth, overcome with endearment as butterflies soar in the pit of my stomach.

General Taglist: @fxckmiup @olive-main @iluvyewman-blog @gaymistakeboi @glitterypirateduck @amara-moonlight @impossibelle @fauxdette @going-through-shit @glam-targaryen @cauldronboilme27 @sarawritestories @tele86 @rogerbarnesxx @azriels-shadowsinger @stinkinstuffie @sandramalikstyles-blog @sassyangel16 @lilah-asteria @starsinyourseyes @inloveallthetime @melsunshine @nighttimemoonlover @ireallywannasleep127 @cumuluscranium @adharanotfound @azrielsmate3 @aelincaddel @hiddlestonspassionsackx @dee-writes-smut @secretlyhers @pit-and-the-pen @mybestfriendmademe @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @circe143 @bubybubsters @joshysloshy @username199945 @aaronwarnerobsessedmylove @notsarareallynot @vixenshiftsvrs @mahealanipunea @pey2618 @loving-and-dreaming

Azriel Taglist: @coolepowersthings @lovely-giggles @quiettuba @ilovewarner45 @judig92 @tothestarsandwhateverend @je-suis-prest-rachel @call-me-a-fool @brieflyclassymortal @cherryjain17 @stqrgirlies-blog @chelsiemp @nyxbranwenn @dnfhascorruptedme @summerandsalt @annamariereads16 @thisiskaylin

[leclercstarrs]

idea: patrick fingering reader while they’re in the bathtub. like, he just walks in while reader is taking a bath and goes to town. i know he’d be so smug, pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you, talking you through each one🫣

patrick fingering you in the bathtub ; mdni

after a long tennis practice, you decided the best remedy for your aching limbs was a relaxing bath before your boyfriend got home. however, your plans changed when just a few minutes after you got into the tub and nearly fell asleep, patrick walked into the bathroom and decided to join you as well.

now, you're sitting in between his legs, your back pressed to his chest and his arm reaching around your torso, sliding down to your pussy and curling his fingers inside of you.

"had a long day, hm?" he coos, pressing small kisses along your shoulder.

"yeah, i'm really tired." you cut yourself off with a loud moan when he hits the sweet spot of your cunt. "patrick, i just want to relax with you, i don't think i can take this." you pant.

"you can take it, baby. gonna make you feel better, mm'kay?" he whispers, nipping at your earlobe.

"patrick." you gasp, resting your head on his shoulder. "fuck, 'ss to much."

"be a good girl, it's alright."

you look up at him and are met with the sight of him smirking just as he slides another finger inside of your cunt, stretching you even more. with each movement of his fingers, you feel your walls adjust to them, as if his fingers were made to be inside of you.

he continues finger fucking you, watching your eyes glaze over and your lips part, getting dumbed down from the pleasure he's giving you.

"gonna cum, patrick."

"yeah? cum for me, baby." he nods, his tone mocking your current state.

his words push you over the edge and you feel your cunt tightening around his fingers, then releasing as you ride out your orgasm, your juices mixing with the water. you're left a gasping mess, your chest slowly rising and falling.

"we're not done yet, princess." he pauses, "we're just getting started."

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

{ A little rockstar Eddie for you all this evening. Matchbox Twenty always gets me in my feelings about these two dont ask me why. I hope you guys enjoy! 🧡 }

He and Steve break up. It's gentle. And mutual. And it breaks both their hearts. Steve isn't happy on the road with him. And wasn't happy at home without him. So they agree to separate. To take time away. To grow, hopefully, both of them hoping they find their way back to each other.

They still text pretty frequently. But the main thing is, Eddie and Robin still text too. And she tells him she's gonna tell him something. That she's breaking her and Steve's sacred best friend oath, to tell Eddie this.

Steve's still not happy.

They're roommates, he and Robin. And she sees him getting sadder and sadder, missing Eddie. The only time she sees him smile is when he's talking to Eddie, either texting, or actually talking, or every now and then they all do video chats. And that's when Steve is happy. She tells Eddie. The HE makes Steve happy.

And Eddie can't just let that go. Cuz he's been miserable too. Not going out after shows anymore with the CC boys, just going back to the bus and texting Steve. The only thing that's making his days bright.

And he loves his music. He does. But god does he love Steve too.

So one night. Eddie and the boys are on a talk show. They play one of their new singles before the commercial break. And are supposed to play another at the end of the show. Steve goes to the bathroom for one second, and then Robin is yelling for him. He washes his hands runs back to the living room, hands still wet.

Robin has the tv paused, Eddie's face almost filling the screen.

"I rewound it a little just... here. I'm gonna... go in my room." And she tosses the remote at him and runs to her room. Steve feels nervous, looking at the tv, Eddie's larger than life face making him smile before he sits, pulls his lip between his teeth, and presses play.

"Alright so I know we're supposed to be playing a single of ours, but I gotta change things up. Cuz... I have something that needs saying, and Matchbox Twenty unfortunately already said it best, so..." he wipes at his head with his forearm, looking nervous, giddy.

"Here goes. Steve. If you're watching. And god I hope you are. This one's for you." He sighs, takes a step back and starts the song.

The first notes hit Steve like a freight train. His heart pounding in his ears, he turns the tv up and tucks his knees up to his chest, eyes locked on the screen.

Eddie's playing is old acoustic guitar, his hair falling in his face. He sings the first few lines, voice soft, and deep, and god Steve misses him so fucking much. And then he sings,

"You think I'm weak, I think you're wrong." And his eyes flick up at the end, looking right into the camera, right at Steve. He literally gasps, drops his feet to the floor and scoots to the edge of the couch, his hands shaking.

The next few lines are just as soft, his eyes moving away from the camera again, until he sings,

"And I think you're so mean, I think we should try." Little smirk on his mouth when he says it, Steve knowing Eddie loves when he's mean, loves when he's bitchy. But his brow furrows when he says he thinks we should try, and his voice shakes and Steve's hands move to cover his chest as he watches Eddie keep singing.

He looks straight into the camera again when he sings,

"Baby you need to come home." And Steve feels the first tear fall down his cheek. The music softens again but then Eddie's singing with that little smirk and Steve's breath catches.

"I bet you're hard to get over." The smirk melts to a smile and Eddie closes his eyes, sings,

"I bet the room just won't shine." He looks sad as he continues, until he gets to the next,

"And I think you're so mean." And he's smiling again, giving that knowing look to the camera again. Steve laughs, tears falling freely now. And then Eddie is frowning, his fingers moving over his guitar,

"I think I'm just scared, that I know too much." His head shaking.

"I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feelin. If you're gone," his voice goes rough, his eyes move to the camera again and Steve almost sobs, he knows that frustrated look, Eddie always feeling outside things, like he can't relate.

"Baby you need to come home, come home." The desperation in his voice has Steve sliding to his knees in front of the couch, hands still clasped against his chest, fingers moving toward his neck.

The house band kicks in then, orchestral backing to the CC boys playing and it's beautiful. Eddie smiles as he keeps singing, nodding their way.

He moves his eyes back to the camera and is basically pleading with Steve now, as he sings, and Steve is humming along as best he can, his throat full of fire, fingers wrapped there, pressing gently to ease the pain a little.

"I think I'm scared. Do I talk too much?" Eddie sings, his eyebrows furrowing with a mocking thoughtful expression, Steve laughs through a sob as he watches Eddie play, watches him sing, watches him ask Steve to come home.

The CC boys chime in soflty,

"Somethin in me." And Eddie follows them, softly too, but strong.

"Everything in."

The boys going even softer.

"Somethin in me in."

Eddie follows, voice going impossibly soft, eyes on the camera.

"In you."

And then the lights drop and it's just Eddie sitting in a spot light, he keeps his eyes on the camera and whispers,

"Please come home." And lowers his head, hair falling as he looks into his lap. The light stays on for a few more moments and then goes off.

The camera cuts to the host, looking a little teary eyed themselves, and they call for commercial and Steve loses it. He hunches over and is claws at his chest, sobs falling silently past his lips. He gasps a few times, falling to his butt on the floor, trying to catch his breathe.

"They're in Chicago in two days." Robin's watery voice cuts through his crying. He turns and sees her standing there, leaning against the wall near the hallway, arms wrapped around herself, her cheeks are wet too.

"I just bought us tickets. You should probably start packing now. We all know it takes you fucking forever." She rolls her eyes, wipes at her face, and laughs when Steve crashes into her.

She helps him pack. It takes him almost the full two days. Robin teasing him about it as they dash out the door to catch their train.

Robin texts Eddie that their coming. She doesn't tell him that Steve's planning on staying. Eddie puts them on the backstage pass list, gets them all the upgrades, and sends a pack of the good earplugs because he knows Steve always forgets his (he did).

Steve's waiting nervously in the dressing room after the show. Moves around. Doesn't know what to do with his hands suddenly. But as soon as the door swings open it doesn't matter.

Eddie is on him in seconds, a blur of hair and flailing limbs before he collides with Steve. And then they're both crying, holding each other, swaying on the spot. Eddie breaks first, sobs,

"Are you staying?" He sniffles, hands moving over Steve's face, wiping his tears. Steve's already nodding, smiling, and crying, and wiping at Eddie's face too.

"Yeah. Yeah for as long as you'll have me." Steve laughs, sobs, pulls Eddie close again. Eddie kisses his shoulder and squeezes him and then pulls back and looks... shy? His cheeks are flushed from crying but he won't meet Steve's eyes when he says,

"Good. Cuz I might have done something crazy." Eddie says, giving a small smiley cringe as he finally looks at Steve.

"Crazy like not playing a new single on late night tv so you can serenade me with Matchbox Twenty?" Steve laughs, his heart pounding, feeling giddy. Eddie laughs, kisses Steve, pulls back, his head shaking.

"Oh it's way crazier than that." Eddie laughs, his eyes wild.

"Oh god what did you do?" Steve laughs, feeling manic, his hands not leaving Eddie, holding onto his arms.

"I bought a house." Eddie says, laughs, high in his throat.

"You-"

"I bought, us, a house. You and me." Eddie nods, cups Steve's cheeks.

"I meant what I said. I wanted you to come home. I just... hadn't mentioned that I bought one, for you to come home to." Eddie's smile wavers for a moment, and Steve barks a laugh.

"You bought us a house." He says through his laughter, Eddie smile coming back, it starts soft, and then gets big, wide, bright and shiny the way Steve loves it.

"I did, yeah." He's still nodding, cheeks dimpled as Steve clings to him, still laughing.

"We have a house!" He yells at the ceiling as he starts jumping in place.

"We have a house!" Eddie echoes, jumping along with him. They keep saying it, laughing, and jumping, and holding on to each other as they shout their excitement, giggling maniacally.

Eddie carries Steve over the threshold of their new home a week later. The rest of there tour cancled as the boys and the party all help them move in. It's nothing crazy, bigger than Steve's childhood home, but nothing too theatrical, surprisingly. It's out in the woods a ways, because Steve, despite all the shit that went down in Hawkins, loves being in the woods, in nature.

Steve cries off an on all day, because the house is perfect. Eddie had some personal touches added before they got there. It's the perfect mix of the both of them.

Steve settles into bed after they have everything unpacked, Eddie's arms wrapped around him, his nose buried in Steve's hair, feeling warm, and loved, and so fucking happy he has a place to call home. So fucking happy that the man he calls home, wanted a home with him.

[dixonrising]

We're Together

pairing: Daryl Dixon x reader

summary: After someone else try's to get with you Daryl makes it known your his.

"Im goin' on a run with Glenn" Daryl said as he entered your cell, "Be back before dark."

You nodded turning to him," Be safe," you smiled at the man before you. You stepped closer placing a kiss to his cheek before he turned to leave.

You and Daryl never defined what you were but, there is a mutual understanding that you were more than friends.

-

"Hey, Ronnie!" You said as you took the seat next to him.

"I’m glad you're on watch," He smiled. Your face looked questioning as you spoke again, "Why is that?"

"I have been meaning to ask you something," He spoke nervously as he turned to face you even more.

"I noticed it's just you in your cell, I was wondering if maybe, you wanted to maybe," he paused taking your hand in his," maybe, try us? like together?" He questioned.

You nearly laughed," Ronnie, that's sweet but, I’m not interested," You spoke softly, moving your hand from his, "Daryl, is well," You paused unsure of how to continue, "I'm not sure what Daryl would call us." You laughed.

"Dixon?" He questioned,” Doesn’t seem like the type to settle down.”  

“Like I said I am not sure what we are?” You said, genuinely feeling as though you and Daryl might never become anything.

“Well you know where to find me, if that cell of yours is still empty’” He said laughing.

“You got it, Ronnie.” You smiled knowing that would never be happening any time soon.

Little did you know though Daryl had heard that whole interaction between the pair of you.

-

"How, was your shift?" Maggie asked as you entered the prison.

"Terrible," You nearly laughed," Ronnie, asked me out.” She joined in the laughter barely believing what you had said.

"Well, we're on duty together tomorrow," She smiled.

You were more than happy with that. "Alright, Mags, I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow, I'm beat." You smiled at the girl before heading to your cell.

You were confused to see bags, outside of the door and a mattress being pulled into the cell. You headed to the door hearing a rather loud groan.

"Daryl?" You questioned stepping into the cell," What are you doing?"

"Nothin'" He said, lifting his mattress onto the top bunk. He moved past you bringing his bags into the room.

"So this is a thing now?" You questioned sitting on the bed.

"You don't want me in here?" He asked sitting next to you.

"I am more than fine with you being in here." You smiled, "But, why the sudden want?"

"I over heard that douche, Ronnie, hittin' on ya," He said looking down twiddling with his fingers.

You smiled, "Jealous?" You questioned.

"No." Daryl responded now looking at you.

"You crazy, you know that right?" You asked.

He smiled shaking his head.

"Just don't bring anything you catch in here," You smiled laying back on the bed," And I guess you can stay."

He laughed laying back next to you, "If you don't want me in 'ere, I can go," He laughed as you snuggled into his side. His arm moving behind your head.

“oh no, your staying,” You laughed into his chest.

-

Thank you all so much for reading!! Request are open! Please share and comment I love to hear your thoughts!!

[bs2sjh]

An Extra May 20 Prompt - Do-Over

Okay, I couldn't let today pass without writing an actual do-over, so I chose this scene to rewrite. Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Let me through, he's my friend." 

John could only sit there on the pavement as he watched his friend be lifted onto the trolley and wheeled away. The blood ran in rivers along the cracks in the pavement, forming a spider's web of red. Soon, it would all be washed away, leaving nothing to mark the devastation of this moment.

"John?"

The voice was nearby, yet he couldn't bring himself to turn towards it, to tear his eyes away from where the person who made his life worth living had just ended theirs. 

"Come on, John. Up you get. You can't stay here. You're wet through."  Hands wrapped around his arm, pulling him upwards off the floor. Sluggishly, he stood, his legs feeling like jelly, a hollow emptiness filling his entire body. "Come on. Let's get you warmed up." He followed the hand on his arm, his eyes never leaving the now faintly pink paving stones. 

John blindly followed. His feet moved automatically. Sometimes, he stumbled as his knees threatened to give out again; each time, an arm came around his waist to keep him upright. 

"You're alright. We're nearly there now." The voice was vaguely familiar but distant like the voice was a recording playing through far away speakers. 

You're in shock, John. You should have a blanket.

John shook his head. Hearing his best friend's voice already. Definitely a bit not good. 

"Here we are, just through this door." John heard the door squeak slightly as it opened. The room was dark inside and seemed to be empty. "You'll be alright in here." The familiar stranger left the room and left John alone in the dark. 

"Hello, John." John shook his head. 

"You're not real. I just watched you die." Someone flicked the switch, flooding the room with fluorescent light. 

"I assure you, I am very much real and alive. I have the bruises to prove it." Sherlock stood before him, a sad smile on his face. 

Upon seeing his friend, John collapsed onto the floor, the stress of the last forty minutes leaching the last of his strength. Sherlock at once knelt before him. "You weren't meant to see. You weren't meant to be there. I am so sorry, John." 

Sherlock folded John into his arms, holding him close, John gripping on just as tightly. 

"Oh, God. You're really here. You're really here." 

"I am. I really am. But we can't tarry for long. We have a mission, John, and I will need your help. I can't do this without you." John sat back, keeping hold but just far enough to see Sherlock's face. "It could be dangerous." John couldn't help but laugh, his body feeling a thousand times lighter for knowing Sherlock was alive.

"Only could be?" Sherlock smiled. "Were you actually going to leave me thinking you were dead?" The smile faded. 

"That was one version of the plan. But I'd be totally, hopelessly lost without my blogger." As Sherlock's lips met John's, Mike Stamford decided his job was really done and walked away, a very big smile on his face. 

An extra one-shot for @calaisreno's May Prompt Challenge.

[janeyseymour]

La Costa Nostra- pt 21

Cowritten w @schemmentis

Summary: You find yourselves falling into this new life. Meanwhile, things back at home change.

WC: ~2.05k

The girls love their new school- something you’re eternally grateful for. You manage to find a new business to manage the accounts of, free of any secondhand business on the side while your wife falls back into teaching like she used to before she left to open her restaurant.

This life is different, but it isn’t unwelcome. You easily blend in to the always lit and alive city. You spend much of your time out exploring, finding new special spots and diners to take your girls. You even join a new perish- one that you know will never quite feel like the one back in Philly. The people there are nice enough, but no one will ever be Barbara and Gerald Howard.

Meanwhile, back in Philadelphia, Gerald Howard brings the ledger into his place of work. He calls up the two who handled your case to begin with and brings them in while his wife is there.

Together, the four of them promise to take down the mafia. Neither agent lets it slip that the four of you are still alive; Danik almost does though at Barbara’s shed tears for your twins.

Instead, Danik puts herself into the work at the end of your case. The dismantling of the mafia in the city. A workaholic already, she pushes herself even further. It's only Shaw that reminds her to sleep, at least for an hour or two. To eat, even just a few bites. Danik might know the truth of you and your family being alive. It doesn't negate that there are people out there who would stoop to order the hit. To include two very young children in that hit.

They start back at the very beginning. Working through your old salon and Melissa's cherished restaurant. Neither look the same now, a few months since your ‘deaths’. It's far more obvious now that both locations are fronts. Whoever is running things is getting sloppy. Danik guesses because they've run out of people they can use to hide behind; like you and Melissa were. The members of Cosa Nostra are front and center now. Running in and out of both the salon and restaurant at all hours.

“That definitely wasn't as good as the last time we were here.” Shaw mutters as he follows Danik out of Twelve Tables.

“I'll give her this much;” Danik starts as she gets into their unmarked car. “Melissa was much better with the food than whoever is back there now.”

Shaw sighs as Danik begins driving back down the street. “Back to the salon? Again?”

“Yes. We're closer there than we are with the restaurant. Besides, I called Andretti. He's still undercover and is with the Italians. He's going to try to nab Luca tonight. I need to be there.”

“Grace, you need a break.” Shaw says quietly from the passenger seat. It's rare for them to use their first names, but in the last few months it's grown in frequency. He silently blames a former Melissa Schemmenti and her teasing him from her hospital bed.

He hasn't asked his work partner out. He won't until the case is done. Still, he's been driven to show his affection for her in trying to make sure she takes care of herself at least while they work. Because if people around here are okay killing kids; there's a good chance they're more than okay with killing a federal agent or two in the right circumstances. Circumstances they're pushing their luck on every day and have been for a long time now.

“Ben.” Agent Danik says, almost sounding through her teeth. She's grown from looking at him with a glare for pulling out first names to returning the use of them. At least sometimes. It's progress. “Not tonight, alright? Just…tonight could be the break we need. Leave me be about the rest shit. Just for tonight.”

Agent Shaw sighs. “Just for tonight.” He reluctantly agrees as his partner parks their car adjacent to the salon. “But tomorrow, you’re sleeping. I’ll drag you to bed myself if it means you’ll get sleep.”

He doesn’t miss the blush that creeps into his colleague’s cheeks.

From here, they can see the front through the large glass windows. The very few clients and hair stylists moving about the front. They can also see down the side alleyway. The door you told them any side business went in and out of. The occasional meeting was held in the alley, too.

Tonight, there's a figure leant against the brick next to that door. The dim glow of a cigarette seen each time a draw is taken from it. In the light of dusk, it isn't easy to make features from where the figure stands. Though the height and build matches Luca Bellino.

“There's Andretti.” Grace says with a nod to a man walking down the sidewalk, from the direction of Twelve Tables.

Andretti turns down the smaller path of the alley way. It's then that the figure near the back door of the salon drops the cigarette, stomped out beneath a shoe. The figure steps closer to the street to meet the undercover officer halfway. Just enough distance for the street lamp to illuminate features. It's without any doubt Luca Bellino.

Shaw and Danik watch silently over the next few minutes. The conversation can't be well heard from their car, though they're certain Andretti has some recording device hidden. It looks like a normal conversation between friends. Like two men chatting and catching up over newly lit cigarettes. Until finally, Andretti pulls a thick, nearly over-filled, envelope from beneath his jacket and passes it to Luca.

Danik is already throwing open her car door and tugging her holstered weapon out as she crosses the street.

Shaw scrambles to follow after her, not bothering to even close his car door. He jogs to catch up to her, pulling out his own weapon in case.

“Freeze!” Danik calls once she's on the sidewalk. “Put your hands where I can see them.”

Both Luca and Andretti raise their hands in compliance. Danik nods for Shaw to cuff Andretti to maintain his cover as much as they possibly can. “You're under arrest.” Danik says as she tugs Lucas's hands behind his back to cuff him herself.

“The fuck?” Luca spits, turning to Andretti in a look of panic. He tries to look over his shoulder at Agent Danik. “What for?”

“Money laundering.”

“Money laundering?!” the nephew of Melissa shouts. “This isn’t money laundering! He owes me money for buying my car!”

“From a fat manilla envelope in a dark alleyway?” Danik shoots out. “Sure. We’ll believe it when we see it.”

The two men are taken into the station, and Andretti is a great actor it turns out. He huffs about the entire time that he knows Luca can hear him. And then they’re separated, and the undercover cop breathes a sigh of relief.

“Jesus, Shaw,” Andretti sighs as he rubs at his wrists. “Did you have to cuff me that aggressively?”

“Maintaining the story,” Shaw chuckles. “Sorry man.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Danik rolls her eyes at the two. “Shaw, get in there and get him to say something- anything. About the Schemmentis, about the hit on Bobby, about Cosa Nostra. Anything.”

Benjamin Shaw would be lying to himself if he said that Grace Danik ordering him around like that wasn’t hot. He obliged her orders, storming into the interrogation room.

As soon as he’s in there, Luca spills everything aside from the fact that he’s the one who was contracted to kill you and your family. Of course, he only offers up the information at a deal of not being put into jail and only paying a small fine in comparison to what he would have actually had to pay if not for the information.

Danik’s eyes raise at all of this information coming so freely. He tells who is in charge, the way that the Schemmenti family found their way into the mob- the fact that you were tied into the Irish side of it all. He takes down Tony and Uncle Dominic, and everyone else who was involved. Luca tells where they’re all planning on meeting tonight.

The police hold Luca until they can round up everybody within the family. Danik and Shaw are able to come out of the raid without a scratch on them, although other members of the family aren’t so lucky. They manage to keep both Tony and Uncle Dominic alive- if only for the information that they hold. Others are slain as they all turn on each other and try to find out who the rat is, pulling guns out of their coat pockets and firing without hesitation.

The next day, Mickey is set free from prison. He knows that originally, you, Melissa, and the girls were supposed to be the ones to come retrieve him and bring him out into the world for the first time in years. Instead, it’s Kristen Marie. He’s thrilled to see his blonde sister, but what he really wants is to see the four of you.

When he cries, Kristen can only pat his arm in an awkward fashion. She thinks his tears are being shed because he’s finally on the outside- only until he chokes out Melissa’s name and your own does she understand why he breaks down on the sidewalk of the prison building. He drops to his knees as ugly sobs wrack through his body. He was looking forward to the day that he would be able to hug your girls for the first time as a free man- to be able to pick you up and spin you in a circle without the guards looking at him as if he were clinically insane. All he wants is to be able to punch his oldest sister in the arm with a shit eating grin without having to worry about being chastised by security.

That Sunday, he finds himself slipping into the church that he knew the four of you attended. He recognizes Barbara Howard right away. As he makes the sign of the cross over his chest, he looks up at the ceiling- as if he could see that the four of you were looking down on him. He goes to slide into the pew, but a quick hand stops him.

“This seat is taken.”

“Barbara,” Mickey whispers softly through the sermon. Only then does the woman look at Melissa’s brother and see eyes that resemble your wife’s so clearly.

“Mickey?” she gasps softly as she pulls her hand away from the spot and invites him in.

The three, Mickey and the two Howards, end up at your diner in the booth that you always sit in. For the first time in months, breakfast isn’t a silent affair. Mickey trades stories about his sister and you from your past while the Howards tell him about what the four of you were up to for all the time he was behind bars. It’s therapeutic in a way for all three of them. He promises to meet them again for the next sermon.

That's the start of a new tradition. One similar to the one you, Melissa and your girls had with the Howards. Sunday morning services, Sunday brunch. Mickey fills the pew for you. They don't let anyone else sit in that last pew. After a few weeks, they don't even have to tell anyone the seats are taken. Your old parish knows not to even try.

@thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @sunsol-22 @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld

[carmenized-onions]

Doing Too Much. | House Call

logline; Appliances can reach their breaking point, when you push them too far. Same goes for people.

[!!!] series history, this is the sixth; First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth

[New Thing!!] Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin' added to.

portion; 4.8k

possible allergies; eatin' meat, besides that, we're pretty good actually. did somebody say calm before the storm....?

pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader (no pronouns, but girl is said a couple times, i believe.)

After this chapter, I'm entering my era of couch hopping as I move to a new city n start a new job. I'm really excited for the chapter after this one, so hopefully I actually get time to write it-- But that's just my lil warning if you're left rereading for like two weeks </3 But I'll def be stalking my activity/inbox so please do yap to me

Monday morning. The next morning after everything. Well, closer to noon than morning, at this point. You’re supposed to have, what, a work ethic this week? After the most insane weekend of your life? No. You’re lazing around and doing fuck all. No matter who calls. Well… Not completely no matter, but like, most people.

When you check your phone, you’ve gotten a text at 6:43 A.M. Unknown number. Ah. Carmen. You put him in as Carmy, and put his nickname as ‘Mister New York’. Listen, old nicknames Mikey ingrained in your brain die hard.

It’s a simple text, deeply un-romantic.

‘Connections Puzzle #342’

Then, four lines of four perfect categories. Flawless. Purple first, even. The hardest category. And then,

‘Morning’

Stupid. Incredibly stupid, to be enamoured, by this. You reply,

‘Good morning!’

‘Connections Puzzle #342’

And then a failed jumble of coloured squares, you get one out of four categories. What the fuck is 'dogleg' and since when has it meant taking a sharp turn? You follow that up with,

‘Fuck you.’

Aside from Carmen, you’ve actually gotten texts from a couple people. Your boss at Eden’s asking if you’re alright. What the fuck did Cicero say? Oh well. You tell him you’ve ‘been better, been worse. Will be okay by next week.’ Perfectly vague, and you still get wired your cheque and tip out. Alright, maybe Uncle J does deserve your free labour.

Speaking of, the next text on your itinerary is from Uncle J, just info for the winter nuptials of Vinnie and Mira. Oh yeah. Three-hundred guests, you remember that part. You also remember him saying it’d be an ‘easy gig’… He did not mention you’d be the only bartender. This is going to be a nightmare. Oh well. You text back that despite it being an open bar you get to put out a tip jar. He just reacts to it, ‘haha’. That sounds like a yes to you.

And then, adorably, a selfie from Syd, wearing the collar and pins you’ve gifted her, under a green sweater. Cutie. You hype her up accordingly.

Besides some texting though, Monday is relatively unbusy. No calls. No emergencies. No businesses knocking down your door for your services. You’re thankful for a break, letting the inertia set in, finally being able to relax after fix after fix after—

Tuesday comes, you get sent another perfect round of New York Time’s Connections around half past six in the morning, along with a good morning text. And again, you fuck it up. You send him your Wordle results this time, as an act of rebellion. You then ask,

‘How’s reworking the menu going?’

‘Hard to say’

‘Ask me tomorrow’

God he’s an awful texter. Horrifically dry. You know you’re down bad beyond a belief when you find that endearing. You spend Tuesday drowning and pruning your plants after depriving them for so long.

Plus working on your art piece for Carmy. You’re pulling out old film photos, a canvas, and a load of bleach—It’s like high school art class all over again— Surprise surprise, the handyman who loves to up-cycle is a mixed media artist. Who could’ve guessed?

While trimming a photo, an exterior of The Beef, a picture frame on your wall falls down behind you, you tut, turning your head to it, chastising the air. “Mikey! It’s a copy, relax! I’ve still got the original print…”

There’s every chance you’re insane— No, you’re definitely insane. But you’re allowed to be, your best friend died, you’re allowed to talk to the air as if he’s still around. Sometimes the timing of doors swinging open for you and things falling down are just too uncanny to not be a ghost.

Wednesday arrives, and again, just after 6:40, Connections results. And the Wordle, this time; plus a ‘Good Morning’. It looks like this is simply just your thing, now. Every morning, the second both of you get up, you send each other puzzles and wish a good morning. You don’t mind that. It’s nice to have a ‘thing’, with someone. With Carmen.

Part way through the day, around two o’clock, you get another text. Two, actually. From Carmen, in quick succession.

‘Are you busy?’

‘Don’t worry if you’re busy. Can call Fak’

You’re quick to reply, frankly deeply offended.

‘Are you fucking firing me????’

‘I’m gonna get ready. Text me details’

While getting dressed, you watch three dots bubble, bubble, bubble… He’s taking forever, just don’t look at it, you’ll get anxious for no reason. No jumpsuit today, you’ve got to switch it up every now and again. Navy cargo pants with the perfect number of pockets and zippers, and an orange Chicago’s Kindest shirt, tucked in. Hm. Looking in the mirror, hickey is still there. Lighter, but there. Foundation? No. You’ll sweat it off and that’ll just bring up more questions. If Syd asks you’ll just tell her you fell down the stairs… On your neck. She's not the type to confront anything remotely sexual anyways.

Speaking of Syd, before Carmen can text you back, she calls you, which is fair— Don’t leave a Carmen to communicate. You stick your phone in the crux of your neck and answer while you pack your utility belt. This feels nearly nostalgic. “What’s fucked?”

Carmen is in the background; you can hear the tail end of a sentence, grumbling. “—Don’t call—”

“My life.” She responds without missing a beat. “And also, Carmy’s stove and oven.”

“Oh.” You squint. “What the fuck happened?”

“Overuse? I actually don’t fucking know, it just stopped working. We plugged it in and out— He even reset his apartment’s breakers. I dunno what’s wrong with it. It’s probably got something to do with him putting his fuckin’ jeans in there.”

“…He what?”

You can hear him in the background, again, clearer this time, grimacing, “What are you doing to me?”

Syd does not mind him at all, continuing, “I know! He’s fucking weird!”

“He’s extremely weird.” You like him a lot. “I’ll be over soon, were you guys like, mid-cooking?”

“Yessir.”

“Christ, alright… I think I have a dual burner hot plate laying around somewhere, you want me to bring it—”

They both speak clearly this time, together, “Please.”

You’ve got a pile of things to give to them anyways, and maybe you miss Carmy’s face. Just a little.

Instead of just buzzing you in, Carmy comes down for you. When he sees you through the door window, carrying a cardboard box, he almost breaks into a full run. He’s somehow opening the door, grabbing the box from your hands, and chastising you all at the same time. “You should’ve left it in the car, I would’ve—”

You step in through the entryway and kiss his cheek, cutting him short. You can’t help yourself, it’s the first time you’ve seen him since and you feel like a giddy teen. The teenage girl in your head is no longer just in your head, she’s fully manning the station. “You’re very sweet. But it’s also not heavy.”

When he continues to be frozen, the regret starts to mount, “Is—Sorry, is that okay to do—?”

“It’s very okay to do.” He manages to reply, with haste. Nodding to himself. “It’s good.” He nods again, then marches off, expecting you to follow to the elevator. You do.

“What floor?”

“Eighth.” He sniffs; you press the button. He stands next to you, looking you up and down. He astutely observes. “Orange.”

“Yeah.” You smirk, looking back at him, “Turns out, businesses can have two colours in their designs.”

What’s a little roasting of fellow small businesses between two not just friends?

“Oh yeah?” Coy, smirking. Oh no. You’ve gotta get the teen off the controls. He tilts his vision to stare at your jacket. Ah. You opted to wear your Carhartt instead of his jean jacket.

“Didn’t wanna give Syd more questions.” She already guessed you’re a sugar baby, you don’t want to wrap Carmen in on that too. Especially since ideally in a month or two he’ll be your boss. Hm. The Bear is going to need an HR.

He hums, nodding. “We’re not telling Syd?”

“What’s there to tell?” You grin, crossing your arms. “You suddenly have free time, Bear?”

He takes a beat, thinking, then just takes a deep frustrated yet amused exhale. “I’m gonna fuckin’…” He can’t think of a threat. “…Get you.”

You snort, “You’re gonna get me?”

“Fuck you—!” “You’re gonna fuckin’ get me, Bear?”

“I—” He tries to hold a straight face, it doesn’t work. “Yeah, I am.”

“Can’t wait.” You nod, grinning, turning back to the doors. “You told me to ask how menu’s going tomorrow.”

“I did.”

“It’s tomorrow.” The door dings, opening on the eighth floor; you step out together. He switches his grip to hold the box in one arm. Alright Biceps, we don’t need to brag here...

“It’s… We’re getting there.” He grimaces. “Syd’s recipes are always… Almost perfect.”

“Ah.” You nod, you know your friend well enough to know where this is going. “And she fucks up one thing hard?”

“Mhm.”

“And when you tell her it’s okay and give her a hand she just feels worse?”

He nods. A touch surprised you’re right on the dot so quickly. “Everything ends up perfect, but I think she’s finding the edits…”

“Demoralizing.” You walk down the hall together, he nods. “I know what she needs, I’ll find an in.”

“You always do.” He hums, you walk just a touch ahead of him, unknowingly walking past his door. He pulls you back by the back of your jacket, making you stumble back into him. This seems to be this villain’s intention; as when you turn around, he’s quick to grab your chin and kiss you.

“It’s very good.” He emphasizes, again, before opening his door and acting like everything’s totally normal and fine. Since when did he turn the tables and make you the desperate one? Son of a bitch.

Ah. Actually, subtract any attraction you had in this moment— He lives like this? Books on the floor, by the window. Jeans on the dinner table, because they were in the oven. The kitchen actually looks alright— You’re almost certain that’s purely for utilitarian purposes while they’re working on the menu. This motherfucker better have a bed frame or him asking you to sleep over would be downright offensive. God, he’s wonderful. God, you’re an idiot.

You find Syd at the table, moping, head in hands. Carmen sets the box down, sitting beside her. You pat the top of her head. She silently moves one of her hands to go over yours. You nod. The silent exchange of girls who know.

“Yeah?”

She nods, grumbling. “Yeah.”

Carmen has no fucking idea what’s happening and he’s never been more intrigued by a near wordless social interaction in his entire life. What? You’re not even making eye-contact. What the fuck is happening?

You fish through the box with your free hand, grabbing a pot. You place it in front of Syd. “Look.”

She peeks through her fingers. A tiny but flourishing nursery pot of basil sits before her. You speak. “You’re gonna hyper-fixate on this basil I’m gifting you, and then you’re gonna crack back into it with the dual burner until I’m done fixing the oven.”

She nods, putting her hands in her lap, “Yes, Chef.”

You pull out a second nursery pot, setting it down for Carmen. “For you.”

“What for?”

“Basil grows like a motherfucker and it’s getting unhinged. I need to start pawning off to people that’ll make good use of it. A-K-A, chefs.” You look at Syd, pointedly, “Talented chefs.”

You hand off the heating pad— Wrapped in brown paper with a card tied to it, to Carmen. “For Nat.” You add, when he looks confused, “Can’t imagine I’ll see her sooner than you will.”

He looks even more confused, when you hand him a spray bottle full of reddish water. It’s one of the good spray bottles, too. Continuous. Carmen wouldn’t know the difference, but you do. “Rosemary. —Water, that is.”

He squints; you clarify, gesturing to your own hair. “You mentioned, losing hair, so— Thought I’d make some, with the trimmings of rosemary I had. Got ginger and cloves in it, too.”

Why have you trapped him in hell? You’ve remembered such a specific off hand from days ago and acted on it? And he can’t express the grandiose level of affection he feels right now? Are you serious? You’re the devil. You’re absolutely the devil. He just coughs out a ‘thanks’.  

“And, the pièce de résistance,” You pull out the old ass, boxed up double burner countertop stove. “A stovetop that ideally fuckin’ works. It was my single claim to fame in my college dormitory.”

Carmen’s already opening the box. Sydney smirks, curiosity peaked. “Was that legal?”

“You a fuckin’ RA?” You grin, poking her forehead. “It was not. And that’s exactly why everyone loved me— Didn’t serve them fuckin’ hot pockets.”

The configurations of Carmen’s apartment would be great for literally any occasion besides the current one. The kitchen is narrow, and so, when you pull out the stove to check the back, there’s an estimated no fucking room left for Carm and Syd, so they sit at the dinner table with your stove top. You’d think they’d look like they’re doing a cute hot pot. No. They look like two conflicted and confused twelve-year-olds working on a science project.

So do you, honestly. Wiring is definitely more your speed than plumbing, but if you’re being honest, this is the first oven you’ve worked on without your dad, and you’re having a hard time remembering everything. There’s a lot of embarrassed Googling on your phone, when you're sure they’re not looking. They can’t know you’re even slightly incompetent!

You’re pretty sure it’s just a couple damaged wires, fried from overwork— Easy fix, if you had wire. You don’t. Slightly harder fix. But soldering is your bitch really, you’re in your bag. You look stupid, wearing chunky goggles and a respirator, but you’re in your bag, baby! What’s that one saying? Skills make you hot? That’s not a saying.

But it is true. When Carmen’s able to peer into the kitchen, quickly looking over his shoulder when Syd takes a moment to write a measurement or direction down, you look stunning.  Respirator and all. You just look correct there, in the kitchen. His kitchen. So stunning he feels guilty. Do you find it annoying? Constantly fixing errors behind him? Probably. You say it’s not a lot of work, but that can’t be true.

“How’s The Bear, ‘sides menu rework?” You ask, raising your voice in the kitchen.

“S’good.” Carmen. “I’m in hell.” Syd. Not hard to tell which statue is lying, here.

Syd stutters on, “Nat’s takin’ care of baby Michaela— Which is very good and—and cool, actually.”

“But?”

“But we’re back to handling the business side entirely ourselves, for like— The next month. Maybe two? Fuck, are we doing the wedding without her?” Sydney almost burns her sauce, Carmen’s quick to move it off the burner.

He mutters, “Don’t even start to think about it. It’s gonna be fine. We’re gonna figure it out.”

“Oh yeah, wedding— Have you gotten your menu yet?” You call from the kitchen, muffled by your respirator.

“Oh my god!” Sydney exclaims, and Carmen is wincing. She can’t tell you things are going wrong; doesn’t she know that? You’ll fix it, if things are wrong. You always fix it. Fix him. You’re gonna put him in your phone as Carmy Bad News. If you haven’t already. Start a support group with Tif.

Syd continues, “They’re so fucking particular and somehow also vague—Like, ‘we want salmon and chicken’ for main course— What kind of preparation? ‘Surprise us!’ Okay, how about roasted chicken—? ‘Mmmm, no, not that’. I’ve been told ‘non quello’ at least ten times in the last four days.”

No, you’re witty. Bad News Bear. Fuck, that’s definitely his name in your phone, isn’t it?

“Fuckin’ nightmare. Y’know, I’m the only fucking bartender? For like three hundred guests? Thank God they’re not asking for a custom cocktail or anything, I’d lose my shit.”

Sydney laughs, and she steps back into her flow easily, reducing the sauce without burning it, now. She looks more serene than she has in days. What? How are you doing that? What are you doing? Are you casting a spell?

“Can you even fucking imagine what their couples’ cocktail would be?”

You groan from the kitchen, laughing in return, “Not you too, Syd! Must you make me work!?”

“C’mon maestro, make a cocktail!”

“Bleh. Uh… They give long island iced tea energy, but it’s a wedding so— Like a boozier negroni?”

“That sounds fucking disgusting.”

“I didn’t say it’d be good, I said it’d be their couples’ cocktail.” You’re both giggling, like school girls. It’s like you said— You become teens, together.

Despite the fact that Syd is making an incredibly complex dish, and you’re fixing an oven—His oven— Ridiculing the other impossible tasks set out for the both of you… Despite all of that, you’re laughing.

Carmen is, what, nearly thirty? A restaurant owner, with a full crew, who attends Al-Anon, and is only now truly registering the power of an unsolvable burden being shared. Not fixed, shared. Talking. Laughing. God, this all comes so easy to you, doesn’t it?

You finish soldering, test each burner, and the oven— All working, thank God. You quietly cheer in the kitchen, removing your respirator and goggles. “We’re good here! Fixed!”

“C’mere!” Syd calls out to you, and so you do. Eagerly. She hands you a fork. Unprompted, she does the thing. You’d missed the OG, really.

“Beef Oxtail, pressed in a Foie Gras casing, seared. Basted in a King Oyster mushroom sauce. Pureed greens on the side.”

“I never know what the fuck you’re saying.”

She pushes the side of your face with the palm of her hand. “Put it in your mouth and chew.”

You want to make some sort of kink joke, but you respect the already struggling man in the room and take a bite. Hm. Hm. You put a finger over your mouth, swallowing. “...Now it might just be my unrefined palate.”

“That’s why we have you try it.” Carmen pipes in. Syd nods, following. “It’s important to know the baseline.”

“…It’s got like,” You hand the fork to Syd so she can try it, while you think. “A bit of a bitter aftertaste? Which might be the… goal?”

Syd spits it out the second it touches her mouth, she shouts your name, your actual name— A rarity. She’s so terrified that she forgets the Walk-In bit she’s been in on all week. “I just fuckin’ poisoned you— Oh my god?! Are you good? That was— Fuck! You swallowed that?!”

She grabs your face like a concerned mother, also maybe to check if you have superpowers, you’re not sure. All you know is there’s a golden opportunity to make another sex joke and you have to hold back. Life is so unfair.

Carmen takes a quick taste, also spitting it out. “I’ve got it, Chef, don’t sweat.” Immediately looking to the drafted recipe card to see where they went wrong.

Syd almost squeezes your cheeks like a stress ball but thinks better of it, letting go, groaning, beyond frustrated at this point. “You shouldn’t have to fix it— I should fuckin’ have it, at this point.”

Carmen's trying to ignore how much he relates to the sentiment. He's not the focus, right now.

“We make mistakes, Chef—” “Syd.” You snap your fingers, pointing to her, interrupting Carmen. “Can you help me grab something, from my car? It’s kinda big.”

Carmen’s quick to chime in, already going to untie his apron, “I can—”

“No!” You look at him pointedly, trying to communicate through look alone. He kind of gets it? “It’s… Girl stuff.”

Syd squints. “You need me to help you carry a big girl thing?”

“…Are you fuckin’ helping or are you gonna poke holes?”

“What are you actually dragging me out for?”

“Technically I do actually need your help grabbing something, it’s just not a girl thing. And it's also not from my car.”

“Oh?”

You walk out of Carmen’s building with his keys, and gesture out to every apartment buildings treasure trove— The spot everyone throws their furniture when they move out and don’t know what else to do with it.

“Bookshelf!” There is actually one pristine looking bookshelf, a cheap one, definitely just something from IKEA. But it’s better than the fucking floor. “I spotted it on my way in, we’re gonna bring it up for Carm.”

She groans, hating the concept of manual labour, but still walks with you and grabs one end anyways. “Why didn’t you make Carmen carry his own bookshelf?”

“Because you need a fuckin’ pep-talk.” You pick the other end of the bookshelf up. It’s thankfully not that heavy. You walk backwards so you can keep facing Syd.

“…I don’t—” “Yes the fuck you do.”

She kisses her teeth, you frown. “What’s up, Adamu?”

“It’s just fucking annoying— I keep, I keep fucking it up. I keep—Keep—”

“Doing too much.”

She gives you a look, ‘are you serious?’, type look. You continue. “You’re doing too much. You’re not cooking like you.”

“I can cook like Michelin—”

“I never said you couldn’t. Watch your step.” You interrupt, walking over a bump in the sidewalk. “You can do star level shit, Syd. But that’s a grade, not a type.”

She kind of reels, at that. You continue, “You cook great complex dishes, you always have, I’ve tried them. But now, you’re all caught up trying to prove some shit, to Carmen, to—to— Who gives stars? The tires guy?”

She laughs, almost dropping the bookshelf. “Yeah, I’m trying to impress the tires guy.”

“Fuck you.” You snort, stepping up the stairs. “What I’m trying to say is, you should make what you want to eat, not what you think you should eat.”

She nods, you stop on top of the stairs, both taking a second to breathe. “…Thanks.”

You nod back, hands on your knees for a second before standing back up, opening the lobby door. “I’ll always be your cheerleader, Syd.”

“More like coach.”

“Can you let me have one hot girl career, please?”

When you get back up to Carmen’s, he’s already grimacing. You and Syd are split apart by the bookshelf standing between you in the hall. “Fuck is this?”

“It was free and I’ll clean it!” You press your hands together pleading. “C’mon, you can even put your jeans in it!”

“Jeans on a bookshelf?”

You turn to Syd. “Better than the oven.”

“I think he’s doing that to dry them.”

“I think it’s ‘cause he doesn’t own a dresser.”

“It’s both.” Carmen clicks his tongue, single-handedly picking up the bookshelf and carrying inside. Alright, does he need to show off this much? Whatever. It’s definitely not making you feel any type of way at all.

You squint, watching him walk further in his apartment, and then to Syd. You speak at the same time. “He stays doing too much.”

As promised, you wipe down the bookshelf, making sure it’s free of grime and roadside pests. Syd and Carmy work together in the kitchen, with a now functioning oven. You load the shelf up with the books on the floor— Thankfully they’re piled into categories already, so you don’t have to bother him about that.

You’re tempted to clean his living room, but that would probably be rude, right? Don’t want him to take it as you saying he’s a slob. But they are taking a while… Alright, you’ll just throw out trash. You won’t fold blankets or pick up dishes or anything. Just trash! No big! He can’t be mad at you for that.

You pile together the garbage, then sneakily throw it out in the kitchen trash can as fast as you can, before he looks. He’ll think he’s just sleep cleaning, or something. “How’s it goin’ in here?’

Carmen pipes up, eyes focused on the dish as Syd plates it. “Good.” Syd holds the plate in one hand, and silently corrals you with the other to sit at the table. You do. She sets it down the plate before you, handing you a fork and knife.

You look up at her expectantly. She shakes her head. “Eat first, this time.”

She looks serious, so you nod, cutting into the dish. It’s different from the last one. Instead of oxtail, it’s pastry. Or at least, a puff pastry exterior. You’re pretty sure it’s Pillsbury, you remember Carmen buying that, the other day, on your excursion.

Inside it, you believe is the beef oxtail, there’s other things, too. Some sort of sauce, some greens— Oh well, no time to bask in the cross section because Syd looks like she’s about to explode. You take a bite. You nod, chewing.

Syd starts, “Searing the duck caused the bitter taste— So instead of- Of searing the outside, I coated it in the mushroom sauce, the greens— Not pureed, this time, for texture. Your basil, too. There’s a crumble of feta, for a subtle tang. And then wrapped it all together in puff pastry, and baked. It’s sort of like, a varied take on a beef welling—”

“You made a fucking gourmet hot pocket?” You swallow, wheezing. The second you say this, Sydney’s focused face beams, laughing, like she’s just pulled off the most perfect prank of all time.

Carmen was so intrigued and focused on Sydney’s explanation, that you watering it down to hot pocket and being right makes his entire system reboot. He cannot stop smiling, aghast. He's been helping Syd make a hot pocket for the past hour?

“I told you to make what you want and—” wheeze “—you make a fucking hot pocket?!” You double down, laughing with her, she’s trying to defend herself but she can’t stop wheezing in tandem.

“I— I can’t fuckin’ stand you!” You snort, covering your face with your arm. “I hate your ass, oh my God, Syd.”

“Did—” snort “What did you think?” She recovers, slowly but surely.

You shake your head, handing her the fork. “It’s sick, Syd, obviously, it’s fucking perfect… Chef.” You tack on at the end, almost forgetting. “I’m not gonna be able to have an actual hot pocket, ever again. You’ve ruined my life.”

She takes a bite for herself, nodding. She does a small cheer, pumping her fist. “Let’s fucking go.” She points her fork at you— Purely on muscle memory, and you both instantly remember the days of her testing out recipes and you pairing them on first taste. She’d point her fork to you like a microphone. It was a fun game between two nerds.

It’s a reflex response for you, even now. “Barolo. Savory, dry, red. A young one, though. Light body. Could also do an Amarone, if you’re not buried in money.”

She hands the fork off to Carmy to try it, then writes the pairings down, mumbling, amusement still in her voice. “How the fuck do you do that?”

“I honestly don’t know. I think I have some wires crossed.”

“Fire, Chef.” Carmen swallows his bite. “We cannot call it a hot pocket on the menu.”

“Then what’s the point!?”

Leaving Carmen’s place is objectively the most awkward experience— But also the funniest. You offer to wait for Syd and drive her home— You’ll need a second to pack anyways while they make their business plans.

When you do offer, of course, Carmen stutters short, almost asking you again to sleep over or at the very least stay late, but saves it, realizing himself.

Syd accepts the ride offer. You pack up and wait for her to be done. When she is, Carmen offers to carry your things down with you both, in which Syd accuses him of thinking you’re both weaklings— He does not have a defense case for this, he has to let you go. You can tell he wants to kiss you at the door, and you do too. Sadly, you’re equally down bad, but he can’t know that…

You say your goodbyes, Syd helps you load your tools and hotplate in the trunk of your car. Your phone vibrates. Text from Mister New York.

‘Look up I’m on the balcony. 8 floors.’

You look up, sure as shit, he’s out there, cigarette in mouth. Unlit. He waves, you wave back. He texts again, in rapid succession.

‘Thank you’

‘For helping Syd’

‘And the oven and the hot plate and the bookshelf (not necessary)’

‘nbd + I think it’s v necessary’ Does Carmen understand acronyms? You’re risking it, here.

‘and cleaning my trash’ Sonofabitch.

‘ah fuck. I don’t think you’re messy!!! I just wanted to help!!!’

‘I know. You’re you. Be safe.’

Oh goddammit, stupid dry texter, saying something so gah. You jump as Syd taps the roof of your car behind you, getting your attention. Watching from a far distance, Carmen laughs, though you don’t notice it.

“Are we going?”

“Yes! Sorry!” You hurriedly pocket your phone, waving one last time as you get in your car. Syd sits beside you in shotgun, her pot of basil sat safely in her lap. You drive off.

You’re half way down the road, when Syd pipes up again. “So y’all are fucking, correct?”

You almost brake check the guy behind you.

 “How do you fuckin’ do that!?”

the opening is dedicated to my dear friend and i who have sent our wordle results to each other everyday for the past like year and a half.

Things of note, one - people usually skip the shit up top-- I made a spotify playlist! Listen if you like, I'm not your dad.

Two, I know this is a self insert right, i know what I set myself up for-- Do you know the hell i am in as a syd x carmy girl writing scenes with both of them and it NOT being them? What have I done, to myself? The only coping mechanism I have is imagining in this universe Syd is a lesbian. And that is helping.

The hot pocket recipe-- Who fucking knows, if that would taste good? I think it would? In theory? I fucked with a dish from Daniel NYC, to make it into a bit. Would it work? ....Beef wellingtons do, I can't see why this can't???? Idk man.

Rosemary water w cloves and ginger does fucking work btw. I am part of the so stressed out i lost my hair brigade. Also basil does grow like a motherfucker.

We're seein' a little bit of that tenseness that comes with being in an 'almost relationship' both of them feel like they've got something they can fuck up now. Poor birds. They'll be okay. Probably.

I'm really excited for the next chapter, I don't wanna give shit away, but it's gonna be,,,,,, different. I haven't seen anyone try this kinda formatting on tumblr before, and I'm excited to see what you think. Between my moving and how complex the choreography of it is gonna be, it's gonna be a much longer minute between this chapter and the next, I fear. But listen, you already knew your ass was gettin' spoiled with a chapter every two days. Hehe.

As always, please come yap to me in the replies/inbox/dms/reblogs. I love to hear thoughts!! It sustains me, baby!!

[garkgatiss]

{{esquivalience}}, The Auteur, and Doctor Who the TV Show

alright so this novella.

First, its provenance: I was googling the Twist at the End song last week because it's catchy as hell. I ended up on the Tardis wiki and realized that there was a song by the exact same name that appeared in a licensed DWU novella that was published April 9th. As in, last month. Which is weird. It's hard to say how weird, but given the timing, it either has to be a) pure coincidence (lol), b) someone who worked on the show abusing their advance knowledge of plot details for personal gain, or c) intentional coordination between showrunner and novella-writer, a la Joe Lidster writing John Watson’s blog for BBC Sherlock.

The likelihood of (a) is decreasing by the week. I feel like I have to entertain the idea of (b) happening, but it's hard to square why a DWU-writing supernerd who is also involved somehow with the production of the show would risk a lifetime of blackballing from DW for a bit of cheap promotion for their extended-universe tie-in novella. I am so sorry to be saying this, but I think (c) might actually have legs.

The novella's title is {{esquivalience}}, which is a fake word invented in real life by editors of the New Oxford American Dictionary. The invented word means "deliberate shirking of one's official duties", and it was added to the dictionary to protect the copyright of the electronic version. In S9, Face the Raven showed us a “trap street", i.e. a fake street drawn on a map by a mapmaker to identify any copyright infringement of said map -- a dictionary entry for a word made up by the dictionary editors operates similarly as a copy-trap. The definition is apt for a copy-trap as well, because anyone illicitly copying a dictionary is themselves shirking a job they ought to be doing themselves... it's clever, it's very fun, we're off to a great start.

{{a crash course in esquivalience below the cut}}

THE STORY:

The unnamed protagonist applies for a custodial job at this library that serves basically as a databank for the history of everything in the universe. If a book about something is thrown away, that something ceases to have ever existed. Exhibit A: Protagonist works in the Dead & Dying Language Department. They throw away The Book of Belgian Dutch, and a) a couple coworkers with Belgian Dutch heritage either disappear or get completely different names/family trees, and also b) everyone quickly forgets that Belgian Dutch was ever a thing to begin with.

The librarians cover for this accidental deletion of reality by copying/fudging a new book on "Belgian Gerench", their name for what they replace Belgian Dutch with. They try to catch most of the people who were deleted, bring them back, and fit them into that new language/culture/ethnicity bucket they just made up.

(The narration explains that because both Belgian and Dutch still exist separately as concepts, there aren't too many knock-on effects in terms of loanwords in other languages that needed to be modified/recovered. It also explains that time-traveling back to make an exact copy of The Book of Belgian Dutch wouldn't work because of the universe's copyright laws or something.)

Protag then comes after the head of their department, the Head Dictionary Contributor, or Head DC. They find him in a hidden room called the Internal Reference Room. Instead of languages, the books here hold the life stories of every employee, which auto-update as the person lives their life, but can also be edited or destroyed to alter that person's reality. Protag sits down with the Head DC's lifebook and starts adding and erasing things.

It turns out that Head DC knows how wrong editing these books can go from personal experience. Years ago, wanting to leave his mark on the universe, the Head DC chose to add his own copy-trap into The Book of Dutch -- the fake word "esquivalience". This action seemingly created the concept of cutting corners at your job, leading to the insufficient vetting of Protag for this job and therefore their subsequent hiring, which results in Head DC's eventual death.

Head DC pleads with Protag for his life, but Protag is undeterred. They finally tear out the final page in Head DC's book, which kills him. Protag then writes themselves in as Head DC. Settling into their new role, they turn their attention to The Book of English (8th to 25th Century). They first look up the dictionary entry for “esquivalience”, which says it came to English from Dutch, and then flips to the entries for “ravel" and “unravel”, described as contranyms from Dutch roots, both “meaning variably to tangle or to fray”.

This is the central story of the novella. There is also a Prelude and Postlude that describe the lives of two young men, first in a reality in which they never meet, and then in a reality in which they do meet and fall in love (their meeting is enabled by one of them skivving off work in time to make it to see the movie where they first meet -- esquivalience!)

Just before the Postlude, there is also printed the lyrics to a song (see below), and an excerpt from The Book of English, this volume covering the 4th to 5th billionth centuries of history. This excerpt again gives the definition of “unravel”, but refers the reader to an appendix for the full list of definition, and notes they are “largely in usage as reference to Unravel, The” and “N.B. to be used with extreme care and caution”.

NOVELLA-SHOW CONNECTIONS:

Mavity [Wild Blue Yonder]: Mavity happened all the way back in Wild Blue Yonder, so it's not necessarily surprising to see it in a novella published in April 9, 2024, but there's a whole scene establishing that the M has seemingly replaced the G in all Romance languages, while Domhantarraingt in Irish-Gaelic is unaffected.

Rope [The Church on Ruby Road]: We're all learning the vocabulary of rope now! The Unravel is what the novella calls the meta-historical revisions caused by making edits to the books. There are also rope/weaving metaphors everywhere. Again, the rope themes of the TV show predate the April 9 novella just far enough that in theory it would have been possible for the novella to have taken inspiration from the 2023 Christmas Special. Except. The wiki page for The Unravel credits ownership of the concept to Jamie H. Cowan, the author of the novella. Not just that, but The Unravel was used – with credit to Jamie – in a DWU short story collection published December 26, 2023 – the day after The Church on Ruby Road aired.

Dot and Bubble [Dot and Bubble] : At this point, “Dot and Bubble” is a contextless episode title to me, first announced on March 31. In the novella, we get this:

The Twist At The End [The Devil’s Chord] : Just before the novella's Postlude, there are the lyrics to a song called “The Twist At The End”. Just listed there, no context, like an azlyrics.com entry. They are not the same lyrics as the song in The Devil's Chord, but then, meta-historical revision would kind of be the point, wouldn't it? There's just this sentence to connect it to anything happening in the narration: "Somewhere, in the far distance, as ______ continued to erase, an old 1960s Earth tune began to play."

EDITED TO ADD: @corallapis has pointed out to me that not only did the existence of the song "Twist at the End" by John Smith and the Common Men leak, but the novella's author tweeted about it in December 2023.

The Chumerian languages of the planet B’llauit, for instance, needed much consideration. Particularly Krulvan. There was still a great deal of work to be done in compiling the post-technoweb aspects of Krulvan. Like how most emotional words and phrases contracted more and more, until finally, they were little more than abbreviations. The old dot-and-bubble effect.

A parent’s love was no longer expressed post-technoweb as “Kal-at lur amoi”, but instead as merely “KLA”. Which needed to be carefully distinguished in the relevant encyclopedia from another abbreviated Krulvan phrase “Kal’ati Lepr’en Acrumpsal” – which was something rather equivalent to the expletives of other languages like “D’Arvit”, or “Bleno”.

It's only a brief mention in the book, so it's possible in theory that it was added after the episode titles were released, or even after the novella’s publication (Amazon allows post-publication changes up to 10% of the text, and it’s not possible to track those changes). I’ve included the second paragraph because it’s interesting that the example they’ve given is the word for a parent’s love, which we can see as a running theme in this season of DW (though Moffat has said before that the only thing he writes about is a parent’s love, so who knows).

Not the strongest evidence of two-way coordination, but we may learn more when the episode airs.

Dutch [Space Babies, Boom]: Yeah, as in, the Dutch language. The words “spoor” & “smelt” both get a "oo, good word!" callout, spoor in Space Babies and smelt in Boom. These words both have Dutch roots. Splice, the daughter's name in Boom, is not only from a Dutch root, but also means the joining two pieces of rope. I read this novella just before Boom dropped on Disney+, so I can personally confirm that this is not a post-hoc addition to the novella. It hardly could have been anyway, this element is much more integral to the novella’s narrative than any of the other pieces.

The Auteur

This is where this all becomes relevant to the “Doctor Who is a TV Show” theory.

While the Protag is shredding the Head DC’s book, the Head DC is in the room, and what follows is an extremely meta narrative-aware pre-death monologue from the Head DC. He's pleading with Protag to stop changing things in his book, but he also refers to an "It" whose power surpasses them both.

He held eye contact with them as they looked up, “You didn’t pick up Belgian Dutch by chance. It’s how it plays. In weaving coincidences.”

“Just stop reading. Stop changing things. Stop, and we can be spared. Be free! If you keep going, then it will get what it wants. It is a happening [sic]. Out there, and in here in the basement. Everywhere. It will win if you keep going.”

“One day, you’ll make the same mistakes. Goddamn, you will. Because it’s all already written. It has already written it all. The paths, the choices. Rewrites, erasures, and even the contradictions. If you don't just... stop... it will... Unravel us all."

The "It" in question is presumably the author. Like an author writing a story, "It" plays by weaving coincidences, "It" gets what it wants when we keep reading, "It" has already written everything.

The Head DC mentions a special disposal chute, which had recently appeared as if by magic, which enabled Protag’s destruction of Belgian Dutch. Head DC’s references to this “It” suggest that his decision to create a word meaning cutting corners caused his eventual death, not by inventing the concept of cutting corners, but by creating a set-up that the Auteur, a godlike being that cares only for the rules of narrative, was compelled to write a satisfying follow-through for. The Auteur changed reality in order to weave a narratively-satisfying coincidence.

The Auteur is a character from the DW-spinoff series Faction Paradox. The creator of the Faction Paradox universe describes it as “on the surface an SF universe, but it works on the same principles as traditional folklore.”

I am but a humble Moffat scholar, so explaining the character of The Auteur is immediately getting into lore that I cannot even begin to decipher.

But it seems plausible that in the show we’re dealing with a godlike being, someone along the lines of Maestro or the Toymaker, but instead of caring only for the rules of play, cares only for the rules of narrative.

And this being, The Auteur, is altering reality and creating the narratively-satisfying coincidences in 14’s and 15’s timelines, possibly starting all the way back with the coincidence of 14 regenerating as David Tennant and immediately bumping into Donna Noble.

And it seems plausible that this season was created in cooperation with these DWU authors to whom concepts like The Auteur and The Unravel are licenced, and the novella is a tie-in text full of references to the current season to lead savvy superfans on a merry chase that foreshadows the season’s big bad.

Because I... don't really have another explanation for the existence of this novella at this point.

[onlyonetifosi]

chapter 15

series masterlist my main masterlist

hello hello, im back with a chapter that i've wanted to write since Charles got Leo so here it is uncle Yn and Uncle Joris in babysitter duty

The morning sun cast a golden glow over Monaco, the calm before the storm of the Grand Prix weekend. Yn Leclerc stretched lazily in her apartment, enjoying the tranquility before the chaos. Her phone buzzed on the nightstand; a message from her twin brother, Charles.

*Be there in 10 with Leo. See you soon!*

Charles was on his way to drop off his tiny puppy, Leo, before heading to the media day obligations. Yn quickly got dressed and made her way to the kitchen, whereJoris, was already brewing coffee.

"Morning, amour. Ready for a day with Leo?" she greeted with a smile.

"Always," Joris replied, setting out two mugs. "Let's get  the breakfast started before Charles arrives."

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Yn opened the door to find Charles, looking dashing in his Ferrari team gear, holding a squirming Leo.

"Morning, sis," Charles greeted with a smile, holding the tiny Dachshund in his arms. Leo wagged his tail excitedly at the sight of Yn

"Morning, Charles. Ciao Andrea. Bonjour, Leo!" Yn cooed, taking the wiggling puppy from her brother. "Did you sleep well, little guy?, come in, we've got breakfast ready," Yn replied, stepping aside to let him in

"Yeah, he was good" Charles replied, stepping inside. "But you know how busy today's going to be. Thank you for watching him"

"Of course. Joris and I are happy to help. Plus, who could resist this face?" Yn said, nuzzling Leo, who responded with enthusiastic licks.

Joris emerged from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. "Breakfast is ready. Come on, let's eat before you get swept away by the media storm"

Charles entered, followed closely by his trainer Andrea, who eyed the kitchen warily. The spread on the table included croissants, fresh fruit, yogurt, and—much to Andrea’s dismay—a stack of pancakes topped with syrup and berries

"Charles, tu ne devrais pas manger ça (Charles, you shouldn't eat that)" Andrea admonished, shaking his head

"Andre, relax. It's just one breakfast. He'll need the energy for today" Yn interjected, handing Charles a plate

Charles grinned. "Listen to Yn, Andre. She knows what she's talking about"

They all sat down, with Leo happily run around the apartment. As they ate, Charles filled them in on his schedule for the day, while Yn and Joris shared their day plans

"Alors, comment te sens-tu pour cette course, Charles? (So, how are you feeling about this race, Charles?)" Joris asked, pouring coffee into mugs

"Je me sens bien, confiant. Monaco, c'est toujours spécial. (I feel good, confident. Monaco, it's always special)," Charles replied, taking a sip of his coffee. "And having all of you here makes it even better"

"We're all here to support you, Charles," Yn said, squeezing his hand. "And Alexandra arrives this afternoon, right?"

"Oui, she lands around six. She's really excited to see everyone, especially Leo and you" Charles said with a chuckle

After breakfast, Charles stood up and gave Leo one last pat, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Merci encore, I owe you one and thanks for the breakfast, guys. We need to get going, see you tonight?"

"Of course," Yn replied, giving her brother a quick hug. "Bonne chance aujourd'hui (Good luck today)"

"Merci. See you later," Charles said, waving as he and Andrea headed out the door

With Charles gone, Yn and Joris turned their attention to Leo, who was busy sniffing around the apartment

"Alright, Leo. Ready for an adventure?" Yn asked, crouching down to pet the little dog and Yn asked, clipping on his leash. Leo barked in agreement, his tiny body quivering with excitement

Their day with Leo began with a walk along the scenic streets of Monaco. The tiny Dachshund drew attention wherever they went, his tail wagging furiously as he explored every new scent. Leo’s curiosity was piqued by every new scent and sight. Locals and tourists alike couldn't help but smile at the sight of the small, energetic dachshund trotting happily beside Yn and Joris.

They strolled down to the harbor, where the luxurious yachts bobbed gently on the water. Leo's nose twitched as he sniffed the salty sea air, and he barked at the seagulls that swooped overhead.

"Il est tellement mignon. (He is so cute.)" Joris remarked, watching Leo’s antics

"Oui, il l'est. (Yes, he is.)" Yn agreed, laughing as Leo tried to chase a butterfly

Their next stop was the Japanese Garden, a serene spot that Yn loved. Leo sniffed around the carefully manicured bushes and trees, clearly enjoying the change of scenery. Yn and Joris strolled behind him, holding hands and chatting about their plans for the rest of the day

"Maybe we should take Leo to the beach later," Joris suggested. "I bet he'd love running around in the sand"

"That's a great idea," Yn agreed. "We can go after lunch"

As the sun climbed higher, they decided to take a break and have lunch at a seaside café. They found a shaded spot on the terrace and ordered a light meal. Leo curled up at their feet, content after his playtime in the garden

After their lunch they headed to Larvotto Beach. Leo was ecstatic, barking and chasing after 

the waves that gently lapped at the shore. Yn and Joris watched, laughing at his antics and Yn took the opportunity to snap a few pictures to send to Charles

"Leo's having a blast," she texted along with the photos

By the time they returned to the apartment, it was soon in the afternoon. Yn checked her phone and saw a message from Charles saying that Alexandra’s flight was arriving soon and they were heading home to freshen up before dinner. Yn and Joris spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and playing with Leo until it was time to get ready

The afternoon flew by with more playtime, a nap for Leo, and a bit of work for Yn and Joris. Before they knew it, it was time to prepare for dinner. Alexandra, Charles' girlfriend, had arrived from Paris, and they were all meeting up for a family dinner

Yn felt a flutter of excitement as they made their way to the restaurant. It had been a while since the whole family was together, and she couldn't wait to see everyone, especially their little brother, Arthur, who she hadn’t seen in over a month

That evening, they all gathered at their favorite restaurant, a cozy place tucked away in a quiet corner of Monaco. Charles and Alexandra were already there, looking radiant and happy. Lorenzo and his girlfriend Charlotte arrived shortly after, followed by their mother, Pascale, and their younger brother, Arthur

"Artie! Ça fait si longtemps! (It's been so long!)" Yn exclaimed, squeezing her brother tightly

"Je sais! Tu m'as manqué (I know! I missed you)" Arthur replied, smiling

“Hi Alex, I’ve missed you! How was Paris?” Yn said greeting her brother’s girlfriend

"Merci, Yn! It's so good to be here. I missed you all," Alexandra said, her eyes lighting up when she saw Leo "And there's my little Leo!"

Leo bounded over to her, tail wagging furiously. Alexandra scooped him up, showering him with kisses "I've missed you, mignon!"

Dinner was a joyous affair, filled with stories and catching up. Charles recounted his very busy media day, while Lorenzo and Charlotte talked about their latest adventures. Arthur recounted his recent races, and Yn and Joris shared funny anecdotes about their day with Leo while Pascale admired their sons and the people they love.

"Merci d'être là, tout le monde" Charles said, raising his glass (Thank you for being here, everyone)

"À la famille," Yn replied, raising her glass as well (To family)

"À la famille," they all echoed, clinking their glasses together

taglist: @love4lando@gcldtom@im-mi@hiireadstuff@celesteblack08@reblog-princess@sunf1ower16@janeholt3@athena-artemis-dorian-gray@minkyungseokie@tesi1

[that-trans-autistic-guy]

DBD Incorrects Quotes from a Random Generator Online

Edwin: You have your weirdly sincere humility Charles: I prefer the term 'self loathing' actually

Edwin: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this? Crystal, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

Niko: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Crystal: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back… Charles: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Mick: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Jenny: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Edwin: Mental stability, my old friend! Niko: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

Niko: We all have our demons. Crystal, grabbing David: This one’s mine!

Crystal: Seriously, all you do is bitch. Edwin: I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation.

Edwin: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer. Charles: Why are we so fucking awesome? Edwin: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.

The Sprites: PEASANT. I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE. Niko: You know there are other ways to say you want McDonalds. The Sprites: FOUL PLEBEIAN. YOU DARE SPEAK AGAINST ME— Niko: sigh What do you want? The Sprites: Chicken nuggets please.

Charles: Are you a cuddler? Edwin: I'm a machine of death and destruction. Charles: Edwin: …Yeah, I'm a cuddler.

Esther: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me. Charles: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

The squad is playing a team sport Niko: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Edwin? Charles: Have you ever played a game with Edwin? Niko: No… Charles: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine? Meanwhile, on the other side of the field Edwin, chasing Crystal: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!

Crystal: Why are we friends? Edwin: Poor decisions on your part.

Charles: falls down the stairs Edwin: Are you okay? Niko: Stop falling down the stairs! Crystal: How’d the ground taste?

Crystal, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, Jenny. Jenny, not looking up from their coffee: Good morning, problem child.

Edwin: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

Monty: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?! Charles: … Monty: Oh, right. The lying.

Charles: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world. Crystal: Unless you're home alone.

Edwin: Are you really planning to shoot the demon? Crystal: Don't worry, it's a holy gun. Edwin: How so? Crystal: It makes holes.

Crystal: I need life advice. Jenny, sipping wine and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

Charles: Edwin, you love me, right? Edwin: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

Edwin: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Charles: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Edwin: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Charles: Is it working?

Charles: Edwin taught me to think before I act. Charles: …So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

Night Nurse, smugly, after security arrives to escort Edwin and Charles out: So, do you wanna walk out of here or do you wanna be carried out? Edwin, in defeat: Let’s go. Charles: Wait. Edwin: What? Charles: I’d kinda like to be carried out…

[lewis-winters]

Hey you possibly have answered this already, but what’s your take on why Nix jumped in the lake, and the symbolism/meaning therein?

So sorry I didn't see this earlier! Here's some new bob meta for you!!

What's important here is this: the water (and to some extent, the act of swimming), is a symbol for Dick's acceptance of the end of the war, his life now that the war is over, and the acceptance of a future he can finally allow himself to dream of having.

I mean, water in and of itself is already a regular symbol or allegory for the passage of time, change, and acceptance anyway. River water eroding a boulder into a pebble. The way water carves out new paths for itself, even with obstacles in the way.

Or the ritual of baptism and how it symbolizes rebirth into a new faith/perspective, and therefore a new life.

Austria's mountain water is no different. And it's no mistake that the narrative of episode 10 has Dick swimming in the lake basically bookending the whole episode. The episode is a bit like episode 1, in that you have present day, and then flashbacks to scenes that took place a few months prior, before cutting back to the present day again, where now we the viewers, have better context for the opening scene and the character motivations of those within it.

Which, on a larger scale, also works for the whole series, ya know? It's bookended by episodes similar to each other in narrative structure, which I find to be very clever!

It is also bookended by Winnix!

Which is. Very important. To me, personally, and to the analysis of Lew's actions later on.

Anyway. I digress. Dick swimming in the lake in Austria is his baptism and rebirth.

First, the episode opens on him standing at the beach of the lake with the intention to swim, before he's approached by Nix, and they share that moment together before Dick gets in and, literally, swims into his flashbacks-- no. I'm serious. He's swimming, and then we fade into his narrative of the events leading up to Germany's surrender and the end of the war in Europe (and maybe the beginning of their war in the Pacific).

And then, when that narrative ends, Dick emerges on the otherside to Lew waiting for him at the dock. And then it gets really on the nose, when Lew shows him a photo of them together at the very beginning!

Like. Alright. Another water symbolism: Water and moving through water as a stand-in for the passage of time. Got it.

And then the Water as a tool for Rebirth Into New Life part of the symbol is further emphasized by Dick going "oh, New Jersey huh?" "yeah think about it" "I am" when just a flashback ago, he was planning on jumping into Japan. Which tells us, the audience, in so few words, that Dick is now letting the war go, and is finally allowing himself to dream of a future.

And Lew throwing himself into the water is him following Dick into that future.

Like. Think about it. Lew asks Dick for his plans for after the war on the banks of this lake, then offers him a place with him in New Jersey. Just for them to be together. Then tells Dick to think about it before answering, and literally waits for Dick's answer at the dock of this lake. Almost like he was waiting for Dick to be ready to be rebirthed into this new lease on life.

But while we, the audience and Lewis both, await Dick's answer, we're treated to flashbacks where Lew, repeatedly, says: if you jump into Japan, I jump into Japan. I'll follow you. Even if it means possible death again and again, it doesn't matter to me, so long as we are together. Ok. That's his perogative. That's what he plans on doing, and Dick isn't going to stop him. In fact, he's delighted.

But then, this is where that flashback helps supplement the scene we got at the very beginning (again, much like the narrative structure of episode 1), because then we get a moment, where Lew goes. Actually. Maybe our life doesn't have to be about war anymore. In fact, I think you and I can go home, Dick. We can go home together. I've been thinking about it. Will you?

And Dick DOES!! He doesn't just brush it off. He thinks about it so hard, in fact, that he goes through this whole journey of a baptism, to emerge on the otherside to go: Hey. You're right. And it's my turn now. This time, I'm going to be the one to follow you back home.

And Lew goes, yeah. Ok. Great. I was waiting for you, metaphorically, to come to that conclusion and choose me, just as I was literally waiting for you to come join me at this dock. Cool.

Let me throw myself into this symbol of Rebirth so I, too, might be baptised into this new life with you. We'll go together, like we always have, from the very beginning.

And that's why I think Lewis throws himself into the lake.

[pawborough]

April 2024 Check In

Hi, all! 

Happy update, everyone! With short breathers between posts, we will be uploading the updates that haven't yet been crossposted to our Tumblr! Additionally, from now on, we will share information that was previously only available on our Discord server on a regular schedule.

First off, Longhairs were added to the demo! In the coming days we are fixing any graphical errors observed. Pre-release test-launching into the demo like this has been great practice for our pipeline. Each time, we learn a lot about the process and work to improve it every time. 

Such graphical errors come from not yet being a final product, and give us opportunity to practice how to efficiently remedy them in the future, and we're excited that our supporters get to see our growth along the way! 

Alright, let's get into the meat! 

New Accessories 

The art team has been working hard on accessories! 

Regal Crown 

Sponsored and concepted by SolsticeStar, illustration by Hydde

The Regal Crown is our newest backer accessory! 

Next, we have completed designs for three full accessory sets. 

The Sweetheart Set 

Design and illustration by Remmie

The Sweetheart set had an early pre-production preview shared on our Tumblr and Discord last month.

It went through some development! After considering the furgonomics of hats, we ultimately decided on ear-holes. 

The Guard Set 

Design and illustration by Hydde

The Jute set 

Design and illustration by Hydde

We have one more set planned called the Woolen set, this in addition to our backer accessories and our Kickstarter items will round off our accessory catalog for the beginning of our game. 

We hope to add more as we grow and gather further resources, but as said in the beginning: accessories will be somewhat lacking early on! We hope to make this up with backdrops and decor. 

As a reminder, each accessory item will have a consistent number of recolors, in addition to potential special recolors! 

Development Update 

Huge progress on the development side! 

First off, we have movement and collision working for combat. 

Next, we have the whole process for creating a team at the Guild, inviting other users, kicking users, editing permissions, editing information, and registering new cats! 

In this video, you also get a sneak peak at a rudimentary Dashboard feature. The Dashboard will be your front page, where all your notifications such as friend requests, sale notifications, co-op and team requests, timer notifications, cat relationship requests, and other such interactive features are easily seen. 

The Dashboard will also feature a list of all quick and casual “daily activities” which can be easily accessed and “checked off.”  

Lore Check In

We're working on the lore side of things in tandem. While we care a lot about it and its quality, it's taken a backseat to the more pressing priority of “have a playable game.” Despite this, we’ve worked on lore as necessary to create cohesive visuals, especially our backdrops, accessories, and decor. 

And this is where I’d like to have a heart to heart with our users with full transparency. Our very early lore was a great jumping off point, and we had a timeline with beats for a year 1 story laid out with some very fun variety. 

However, when I grew concerned and ran it all past sensitivity readers, some things became very pressing. I had to ruminate back on many of our early criticisms, and rethink how we were tackling some of these topics in our worldbuilding. 

PawBorough is a 13+ piece of media. We're not shying away from more complicated topics or a little bit of blood. However, it's no secret that we are also a cute kitty cat game. We can have very serious, epic, heartbreaking prose. But this is all inevitably coming out of the mouth of a pink cat with sparkles for fur. 

That is to say, we have to be careful not to patronize very serious topics. 

The most pressing problem presented to us when reaching out to sensitivity readers was our portrayal of The Metropolis. A blatant New York clone with relatively modernized tech, capitalizing off said advancements, acting as an antagonist in geopolitical tension can come off very tone deaf. Considering the chilling atrocities committed by modern corporate America which have far-reaching repercussions and affect peoples’ lives and families today, there's just no other way to easily frame The Metropolis as has been presented other than a 1 to 1 stand-in for modern capitalistic American colonialism. 

And to treat this sort of setup with the care it deserves, we have to be explicit in the atrocities, and we have an ethical duty to be violently critical of modern America as a structure, so much so that users may not have much fun in the space. Our game is just not the right medium to be this realistic. 

While the concept of xenophobia as a topic isn't in itself a topic that we can't ever touch on sensitively in our stories, specifically modern America is so wrought with atrocities happening now, today as we speak, that we don't find it appropriate to even be touching on it the way we have been. The demand in this medium is beyond my comfort as a writer. 

Therefore, the first change we are making to The Metropolis:

1. Develop The Metropolis, and Cogwheel in turn, as less a 1 to 1 New York clone. 

The Metropolis will from now on have far less of an exclusively and explicitly “Americana” aesthetic and culture. This is a change that was well-needed, as all other Boroughs have a large variety of inspiration. We will be incorporating quite a few different architectural aesthetics from hereon. 

The Borough is still a huge, bustling cityscape with industry and development! 

But that brings us to the next change: 

2. Change the focus of the antagonistic nature of The Metropolis from “corporate development” to “magical development.” 

The Metropolis can still have a leg-up in industry, development, and trade, but with this change, the enemy is now less explicitly modern Capitalism, and instead a general simile for classism. The Metropolis is now full of high-up, modern, domineering magic-doers. The Borough still capitalizes upon resources, but now there's much more fantasy directly involved with the power conflict. 

That brings me to the largest change we are making to The Metropolis, and the story as a whole:

3. Roll back technology to the late 1800s - early 1900s. 

This is our most uprooting change, but we feel it actually fits much more within the world. The 1990s as a setting caused so many problems and holes in our vision that didn't make sense when put under routine scrutiny. With this timeline instead, it now is reasonably clear why there's lots of trains in Cogwheel, Metropolis, and Harvest, but little in Sol or Luna. It now makes sense why Abyssal still has mast ships. It's easier to understand why cats are using mounts instead of cars. It's easier to believe that communication and travel between Boroughs far apart is challenging and arduous. 

It also helps with the idea that magic is not yet well-understood, and therefore supports The Metropolis's powerhouse efforts towards magical advancements. 

We now have these drafts for the history of The Metropolis and Cogwheel, which have gone into our lore bible: 

The Metropolis:

With the development of mass-producible agriculture, cats started settling down. At this time, magic was largely unknown and seldom understood. Cats traveling the wastes were eaten by magical beasts, and the full capabilities of magic were unknown. 

But with a full belly and a warm house, cats started studying magic more closely. Harvest cats especially continued migrating south towards the water for settlement. 

The Metropolis became a premiere area for magicians as its major cities funneled catpower into experiments and further understanding. Magicians became well-scholared, and developments in magic and its rules created a boom in industry and invention. In the present day, if you want to know about modern magic, you travel to The Metropolis. 

However, one will likely be taught the magic of surveillance first and foremost. The Metropolis sees itself as every Borough’s big brother, despite being one of the youngest.

Cogwheel: 

Whether the official establishment of Metropolis or Cogwheel came first is uncertain, but Cogwheel was said to first be born of catfolks' desire to fiddle with machinery over pompous magical learning. A group of cats in The Metropolis location had formed what was called "The Cogwheel Union" and traveled away to grow their establishment. Eventually, the union grew large as more inventors took interest. Cogwheel was for building. Cogwheel was where engineers thrived. Fire burned in the hearts, minds, and paws of all Cogwheel citizens. 

With this, the Metropolis capitalized on the industry developing in its neighbor. What was once two cities with differing philosophies became a tug of war for geopolitical power, and Metropolis is winning. Cogwheel cats were more keen on their Harvest roots, favoring community and generosity. But they are hardened to the state of things, worked long hours, kept under a boot, and revolution is simmering in their factories. 

Cogwheel invented the railroad, which has quickly advanced through the tri-Borough area of Harvest, Cogwheel, and The Metropolis. Cats not in these areas still rely on ferries and mounts.

So there you have it! We realize a change like this won't please everyone, and we still encourage you to tell the story you want to tell with your own characters, but this alteration is far more in-line with our vision! We believe there's more general appeal to a storyline like this, and it's great for our lore to put the focus of magic so front and center.

All other lore is in-tact and will be significantly buffed out in our next drop!

Thank you for reading!

To Summarize: We showed a new backer accessory, three new accessory sets, updates to team game play and setup within The Guild, and a new approach to our lore. 

What to expect next month: Daily duty/territory ground setup, potential forums setup, more Borough site themes, further asset development. 

[jangofettjamz]

Stay with me

Jenna Ortega x Autistic!Male!Reader

TW: Depression, Self Harm, General Unhappiness

Summary: Jenna discovers your ongoing depression.

2nd Person POV

Three weeks.... three long weeks of loneliness. You had all but isolated yourself from the world, not to be seen by anyone. Your family and friends constantly worrying about you and your whereabouts. But you didn't care. You just didn't care anymore.

Your sleeping pattern was completely destroyed, eating habits fluctuating between eating too much or too little or just not eating at all. Hygiene was at an all time low, snack packets littered the house like a landfill.

You felt defeated, conquered. You couldn't even get out of bed to check the time. The only thing you could hope for is the mattress to swallow you whole removing you from the world; not that it'd make a difference. So you kept telling yourself.

You lay in your bed staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours, only to be disrupted by the ringing of your cell phone on your nightstand. You almost didn't lean over to see who it was but curiosity had its way with you and forced you to look. It was Jenna.

Embarrassment radiated through your body having not even thought about how your absence might effect her. Your reached out your arm to pick it up and hovered your thumb over the answer icon.

Mustering up the courage, you finally answer the phone and gave the best performance you could to ensure her that you were fine. "Hello"

"Y/N? Baby are you alright? No one's heard from you for weeks! I've been trying to call you and went to your door multiple times, babe." Regret. Thats what you felt the moment she expressed her worry for your well being. How could you be so selfish?

Still you persisted in trying to convince her "I'm fine, Jen. Really I am. I've just been really really busy at work; barely any time to myself" you fake laugh.

Jenna saw right through your facade "Really..? Because I called your boss and they said you haven't turned up for work in about a week and a half and I haven't seen you for three. Honey you know I'm the first one to call if you ever need help, so why won't you let me in?"

She was pleading, something you had a very emotional reaction to. The last thing you ever wanted to hear from her was pleading. "Jen... its... *sniffles* "

Jenna doesn't back down "Y/N... please... Tell me what's wrong"

"I... I can't get out of bed... my bed is a mess and so is my room. I feel sick to my stomach and I..." you held back tears.

"Go on, sweet boy it's okay. Tell me what's going on" She says with pure softness in her voice. No hint of contempt.

"I hurt myself. I've been hurting myself, Jenna" There it was, an admission. With your pride broken and tears down your face you confessed to your girlfriend about your dangerous little habit.

"I'm coming over. I'll be there in 5 minutes tops." You can already here her bustling around her house looking for her car keys. You were sobbing from the guilt. "Hey Hey l sweet boy it's okay. I'm not mad I promise. We're gonna get you cleaned up and figure this out together, okay?"

"O-okay.... I love you, Jennie..." you sniffle as you call her your little affectionate nickname.

"I love you too, sweet bunny. I'll be there very soon." She blew a kiss through the phone before hanging up.

*Five minutes later*

Jenna opened the front door via the spare key, her eyes taking in the mess of the living room. She couldn't focus on that right now, instead she made her way up to your bedroom and knocked the door.

"Y/N? Bunny are you in there?" She called out to you but you refused ti answer, hoping that she would leave and not see you in your pathetic state. "Babydoll I'm gonna come in now, okay?"

The sound of the door opening made you hide under the covers from the fear of judgment; her judgement. However, that never came. The footsteps drew closer and closer and you felt a hand remove the sheet you were hiding under.

The state she saw you in broke her sweet heart, wanting nothing more than to just pick you up in her arms and shield you from everything despite the height difference. "Oh sweet boy... hey... it's only me"

That did it. The dam of tears collapsed on itself and you bawled like a child leaving Jenna to pick up the pieces. "Shhh, sh, sh, sh it's okay baby. You're safe I promise. It's only me in here, no one else." Her hands went through your greasy hair, evidence of your lack of hygiene the last few days."

"I-I'm sorry for n-not calling you J-Jenna..." you wanted to give her a thousand apologies and you didn't even know why.

Jenna shut down your apologies immediately "its okay bunny you did absolutely nothing wrong. You're just going through a very hard time right now." Even in the dimly lit room she could see the marks on your forearm, but didn't draw any attention to it; nit yet anyway.

"My love why don't you have a shower, hmm? Or bath up to you. While you do that I'll clean up your room and check up on you afterwards. You have any clean bedsheets for me, angel?" She asked sweetly.

"In the basket downstairs with all the other clean washing" you answered lowly.

She gave you a loving kiss to your forehead "Thank you. But before you take a bath, can I clean your cuts? I'll be gentle I promise" you were hoping she'd just ignore the cuts, but they do need to be cleaned. You nodded your head with lingering shame.

She helped you to the bathroom, which was thankfully clean and sat you on the toilet seat. Jenna grabbed the first aid kit and got to work "Honey I need to clean the cut of dirt first before I disinfect it. Can you put your arms under the sink for me?" You did as you were told "That's my good boy there you go. Just hold your arms under for a few minutes"

It stung but you weren't expecting it to be painless. After the wound was clean of any dirt she started to disinfect "You're doing such a good job for me, bunny. So brave for me" she praised. You truly did not deserve this woman

"These dressings are waterproof so you can bathe with them, but try not to get it too wet, okay?" You nodded at her instructions and she proceeded to run the bath. While the water ran she rubbed your back and rocked you to keep you calm and not overstimulated.

"Alright baby it's bath time" She helped you into the bath with a gentle guidance. The temperature felt just right, something you were very grateful for. The last thing you wanted was to be overstimulated from how the water felt on your sensitive skin.

While you cleaned yourself, Jenna cleaned the bedroom from all the junk and replaced the bedsheets. She wanted to ask so many questions but she knew not to overwhelm you in your extremely vulnerable state.

Around 35 minutes after you got in the bath you finally decided you were clean enough. Your hair was clean and fresh and the body odre was gone. You grabbed a towel and went back to your room to find Jenna sitting on the now clean bed inside your now clean room.

She tapped the bed signalling you to sit down next to her. Once you did she instantly wrapped her arms around your fragile body in a protective hold refusing to let go. "Sweetheart what happened?" The inevitable question was finally asked, you couldn't really narrow it down to one event since it's been building up for a while.

"I... its been building up for a while. I started feeling unhappy for about a year and it just escalated from there. You know I've been going to therapy and stuff but it just kept getting worse and worse... I didn't think I'd start hurting myself... *sniffle* I feel so stupid" you started crying heavily again

"Shhhhh you're not stupid baby boy, not stupid at all. You're just going through so so much and you felt like you needed some form of release from all the stress regardless of what it was. But please don't feel like you can't let me in, I wanna help my precious baby whether be physically or mentally." She wiped your tears with the pad of her thumbs and held your very close.

"I know you had your reasons for doing this bubs and they're completely valid, but please let me help you. There's better ways than this I promise. I don't wanna lose you, bunny. You're too precious to me to lose, I love you so so much and I need you here with me. I need you to stay with me baby."

You weakly nodded at her words, you knew this wasn't going to be an easy road ahead but she was going to help you navigate it together. "I won't leave, Jenna. I promise."

"That's my perfect angel..." the two of you share a loving deep kiss, only sealing the love you two felt for one another. She pulled back and looked into your eyes. "So gorgeous. My perfect boy" the praise made you tear up again which made her hold you against her chest and lay down on the bed.

"You're gonna be okay, Y/N. I'm here now, everything's gonna be okay. Such a good boy for me, it's all gonna be okay." And you really believed her, despite everything you've went through you fully believed her words. Jenna cradled you in her arms in whispered sweet words, pulling you into a safe space where you felt nothing was wrong.

"How about we get some pizza and chill for the next few days. Its the weekend and I've missed you a bunch. Maybe we can even go somewhere tomorrow, whaddya say?"

"Okay. Dominoes?"

"Whatever you want, sweet boy. I'd do anything to make you happy" Those words brought a smile, a small smile but a smile nonetheless.

And that made Jenna very very happy

A/N: This hasn't been proofread so the spelling/grammar/punctuation might be shit. Sorry I've been M.I.A but I've been really down lately and that's putting it lightly. I haven't forgotten about you guys and I hope this fic can make it to you.

[minminyoonjii]

Forever clawing at the cement walls that surround me for needing to call Felix mommy

❤️Ultimate Masterlist

💜Rules and Guidelines

🕯Summary: There's nothing a good old-fashioned BJ can't fix, especially when you're stressed.

🌹CW

Fem Dom! Reader|Heel Grinding|Oral Sex|Blow Job|Oral Fixation|Messy Head|Edging|Praise Kink|Wet & Messy|Voyeurism|Mommy Kink|Pervert! Jisung|Aftercare

You sighed, rubbing your sore neck, "Baby?" you questioned, closing the front door behind you. Felix peeked his head out of his room, "You're home early," he pointed out, walking towards you. "Yeah. Is that a problem?" you teased, leaning forward. Felix chuckled, placing a peck on your lips, "Nope, not a problem at all. I was planning to bake something later if you want to join," he prompted, biting his bottom lip.

"I'd love to," you said, pulling him in for a hug. "Maybe we could catch a movie or two after," you suggest, squeezing him close. Felix giggled against your chest, "Sounds great," he said, looking up at you. "Call me down when you want to start baking, sunshine. I need to wash up," you groaned, rolling your shoulders. Felix smiled, "Sure can do, I'll set an alarm," he said, making a beeline towards his gaming room. 

You stripped off your clothes, setting the water just right before getting in. The feeling of water coaxing your skin instantly made you relax and soon thoughts began to pour. Some pure and some filthy, you imagined how the rest of your day would play out. Baking and then cuddles sound absolutely perfect but an itch deep within your brain thought of less wholesome things. You shook your head, blaming the heat of the water for your dirty ideas.

The thoughts spiraled from sucking Felix off before the timer rang or pinning him against the kitchen counter while he's stirring the baking batter. "Fuck," you whispered, pinching your cheeks. You sighed, getting out of the shower, "I need a drink," you mumbled to yourself, tying a towel around your body. You walked towards the kitchen, searching for anything cold in the fridge to subdue your thirst. 

A loud thud came from Felix's room, "What is the healer doing, we're getting crit here," he groaned, tossing his headphones in frustration. You knocked on the door, making him flinch, "Are you alright, baby?" you asked, opening the door. Felix nodded, "Yeah, just shitty teammates," he grumbled, crossing his arms. You cooed, placing a kiss on his forehead, "You'll get them next round," you encouraged. Felix's cheeks burned, noticing that you were only in your towel.

You furrowed your eyebrows at his silence, "Ah," you chuckled, seeing his agape jaw. Felix closed his mouth when you tilted his chin up. His eyes waver under your stare. The shower thoughts from earlier came forward again but this time you weren't going to stop them. You got on your knees, cleavage perfectly plump for him to stare at, "Do you want this baby?" you whispered, seeing Felix quickly close his game tabs.

He nodded, "Please, Mommy looks so pretty," he whined, gripping his seat. You cooed, "Can you do something for mommy before that?" you asked, hand grazing over his obvious bulge. "Yes, yes. Anything mommy wants," Felix said, eager to please you. "Good boy. Now turn on your recording system and plug in your mic, sunshine. Mommy wants you to hear yourself fall apart," you purred, pulling down the zip of his pants.

Felix moaned at the idea and did what you said, "Mommy," he keened, bucking his hips against your palm. You hummed, rubbing your throbbing clothed cock. Precum leaking through the tip. "Hah, Hhgh," Felix mewled, back arching to feel more. You chuckled, pressing your thumb between his clothed slit, drenching his boxers in slick. Felix sobbed, "Mama, mommy. No mo-more, teasing," he whimpered, aching to feel your mouth or hand around his cock.

You cooed, "Aww, but you're so pretty, sunshine. Look at the pretty mess you made," you said, showing him your slick-covered hand. Felix whined, pulling your wrist towards his mouth and taking a lick. You chuckled out a moan, "Mommy's dirty little prince, aren't you," you praised, tugging his boxers down to his calves, letting his cock slap against his plush tummy. "Mommy's prince," Felix mewled, tossing his head back when you finally stroked his cock.

"Moan for mommy, sunshine," you purred, pumping his cock within your palm. Twisting your wrist at his throbbing cockhead. Precum leaked all over his thighs. "Ah, hah, hah, ah," Felix panted, lips wobbling from pleasure. You gulped at the sight of your lover falling apart, "Fuck it," you grumbled, tapping his cockhead against your tongue. Felix squealed, staring down at you with half-lidded eyes, "Too much, it's too much," he babbled, overstimulated by your stimulating tongue working his slit apart.

You moaned, wrapping your lips around his cockhead just to hear him cry from the pleasure. Felix sobbed, thighs trembling at the waves of arousal buzzing through his body, "Need to cum, Mama," he cried, his cock throbbing on your tongue. You hummed, sending more stimulating vibrations. Felix sucked on his bottom lips, abs tensing from the appending orgasm. You smirked around his cock, waiting for the moment his body arched and you pulled off.

Felix sobbed, tears spilling down his cheeks at the denial, "Mo-mommy!" he sniffled, his cock hard and aching. You shifted your body, heel placed directly on your bare clit, "Aww, I know pretty baby. Mommy knows," you cooed, licking a stripe up Felix's shaft. He keened, gripping the seat hard. You blew on his warm cockhead, smiling at the way he shivered, "Just relax, yeah?" you whispered, flattening your tongue to take his cock to the hilt.

"Shit, shit. Feel so good," Felix slurred, eyes rolling to the back at the warmth engulfing his cock. You bobbed your head at a relentless pace, his cock head making a filthy 'pop' sound every time he slid perfectly down your throat. Felix thrashed in his seat, his body quivering from the immense pleasure. You ground your hips, chasing your own orgasm as you swallowed around Felix's cock. "Cum-cumming," he wailed, digging his nails into the seat.

You sucked, gulping down every last drop. Felix mewled, his body convulsing as your mouth held a tight suction around his cock. You moaned, eyes rolling back as you came, soaking your feet with slickness. Felix's body twitched, cumming again from the overstimulation. You pulled off his cock, laying your head on his thigh. Felix lay spent, "Kiss," he rasped, jutting his bottom lip. You chuckled, wobbly standing up to kiss him.

Felix melted into your warmth, "Thank you, Mommy," he whispered, nuzzling your chest. You cooed, patting his hair, "Anytime, sunshine," you said, kissing his forehead. "You forgot to mute our call," Jisung said, jolting Felix from his daze. You shifted his messy tabs and pulled up Discord, only to see a flustered Jisung on the other end, "Didn't Chan teach you privacy, Ji?" you smirked, eyeing his oddly placed lotion on the desk.

Jisung whined, "How is it my fault your boyfriend is dumb," he grumbled, crossing his arms. "Hey, I'm not dumb," Felix retorted, glaring at the screen. You rolled your eyes, "You should've stopped listening the moment you heard him moan, Ji," you teased, turning on the camera. Jisung gulped at the sight, the both of you disheveled with post-clarity evident on your faces "Sounded hot," he mumbled, looking away. You smirked, "What was that?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ugh, you both sounded hot now fuck off," Jisung rambled, ending the call. You looked at Felix and instantly burst into laughter, "Do you still want to bake?" you asked, wiping a stray tear. Felix nodded, "Yeah, just let me wash up and we can start," he said, pulling you in for another kiss. 

[ltash]

Promise

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."

Aristotle

The chirping of birds and the warmth of the morning sun filtered through the curtains, gently waking me. I felt a hand softly brushing through my hair as I opened my eyes.

"Good morning, love," I heard him say, his voice a deep, comforting rumble.

He was sitting beside me, his fingers tenderly threading through my hair. A cup of hot tea was placed on the side table, steam curling up invitingly. I noticed he had already changed his clothes-he was wearing a black buttoned casual shirt and jeans.

What caught my attention most was his face, fully visible without the usual mask.

I sat up, blinking away the remnants of sleep. "Good morning," I replied, my voice still groggy. "Your mask." I pointed, curious about his choice.

"No need for it today," he said with a faint smile. "Nobody's coming. We're on our own."

"Soap said that you sleep with it," I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

He smiled, a rare sight. "Yes, but back there. Not here in front of you."

"Simon, when am I going to meet your family?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

His expression shifted, a shadow passing over his face. "Unfortunately, never."

"What? Why?" I pressed, confused and concerned.

"They're all gone," he sighed, the weight of his words hanging in the air.

"Gone? Where?" I asked, my heart sinking.

"To heaven," he replied quietly.

A shock and a wave of grief pierced through me. Without thinking, I pulled him into a hug, cupping his face in my hands. "I'm so sorry," I whispered, feeling his pain as if it were my own. "You've lost everyone and you're still helping me through all this."

He didn't say anything, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes. He was a man who had endured unimaginable loss, yet he stood strong, protecting me. I realized then just how much he meant to me and how much I wanted to be there for him, just as he had been for me.

"Nora!" he said, looking into my eyes with a seriousness that made my heart skip a beat. "I need to talk to you."

"Yes, I'm listening," I replied, holding his gloved hands gently in mine, feeling the warmth through the fabric.

"You know, my job requires me to go to different places. We are deployed here and there every now and then. The missions are dangerous and life-threatening," he paused, his eyes searching mine for understanding.

"We can lose our lives anytime we're on a mission. Also, I can't keep any relationships during my job because relationships come with expectations, and I can't fulfill any expectations. I'm not in a position to," he said, his voice heavy with the weight of his words.

I tightened my grip on his hands, searching his eyes for any sign of hope. "But Simon, I don't need you to fulfill any expectations. I just need you," I whispered, my voice trembling.

His eyes softened for a moment before the steel returned. "Nora, it's not that simple. My work... it's a constant danger. I can't put you through that."

"You're not putting me through anything. I'm choosing to be here with you," I insisted, my resolve strengthening. "We'll figure it out together, no matter what."

He looked at me, a mixture of admiration and sorrow in his eyes. "You're braver than anyone I've ever known. But I don't want to be the reason you suffer."

I shook my head. "Simon, you're the reason I feel alive. We can't predict the future, but we can face it together. Isn't that worth something?"

For a moment, he was silent, the internal battle evident on his face. Then, he pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly. "Alright, Nora. We'll try. But you have to promise me something."

"Anything," I said, my voice muffled against his chest.

"Promise me you'll stay safe, no matter what happens."

"I promise," I whispered, closing my eyes and holding on to him with everything I had.

"I will always be here for you, Simon," I said, my voice steady with conviction. "Waiting for you to come back whenever you get time. I will also try to visit you from time to time. Don't worry! I will handle everything. I will handle Papa Price too, since he is the only one I see after my dad was assassinated."

Simon's eyes softened, a rare vulnerability showing through. "Nora, you're incredible. I don't deserve you."

"Don't say that," I replied, cupping his face in my hands. "You deserve all the love and support in the world. You've been through so much, and you're still here, still fighting. That means something."

He leaned into my touch, closing his eyes for a moment. "You're my strength," he whispered. "I don't know how I'll manage without you, but knowing you're here, waiting... it gives me something to hold on to."

"And I'll always be here," I assured him. "No matter what. We'll get through this together."

He opened his eyes, filled with a determination that matched my own. "Together," he echoed.

A small part from the new episode of my novel.

[artoutoftheblue]

Alright its toon au lore dump time, this explains the backstory up to the point where we're at on the toon au askblog!

Season 1:

•The show begins, Sun and Moon get separated. Seemed like it would just be a normal life. Sun has a small arc where he falls head over heels for Roxanne Wolf, while Moon has to deal with Montys shenanigans

•Moon notices Sun beginning to act out a bit, especially while they're playing games. Each time Sun seems to not remember what they were doing during the periods of acting out

•Eclipse reveals his identity, and begins to cause more ruckus for the brothers afterwards. Sending them to random dimensions and putting them through hell

•The brothers do their best to keep their problems a secret from the other bots, but unfortunately all of them are noticing Suns violent tendencies

•Circus Baby and Glamrock Freddy begin to piece together what's going on, and Glamrock Freddy suggests going to visit Golden Freddy to learn magic and expel Eclipse from Suns head

•Golden Freddy accepts and offers to help teach them magic in order to expel Eclipse, though Moon is much more interested in it than Sun is

•Moon convinces Sun to break up with Roxanne, because she was being an absolute bitch about the situation the entire time, theres no maternity chip situation in this universe

•Moon tries to negotiate with Eclipse to get him to stop bothering them, and Eclipse asks for one thing and one thing only, The [Newton] Star. But Moon refuses to give it to him

•Sun and Moon start fighting a lot more due to the Eclipse situation, with Moon saying that he needs to learn how to repress Eclipse more, and Sun trying to explain that he cant

•Sun meets Eclipse in his mindscape, and tries to negotiate with him to get him to stop taking over his body, but Eclipse refuses to do so

•Monty calls Sun at one point, and Eclipse manages to connect himself with Montys code for a bit and use Monty to try and convince Moon to give him The Star, but the two end up fighting, and Eclipse retreats back into Suns head

•Eclipse transports Sun and Moon to a dimension that is being eaten up by a wither storm, and Sun and Moon realize that the only way out is to make up for their mistakes when they fought with each other, and take on the storm together. They both succeed and are safely transported back to their home dimension

•Sun and Moon meet their creator, and ask him on how they can get rid of Eclipse, but he ends up being absolutely useless, so they just leave it be

•Eclipse puts a line of Suns code into Moons head, thus creating Lunar, who he uses to suppress Moon and keep him from messing up his plans

•Lunar ends up revealing himself much sooner than he should've, and Moon begins trying to figure out how to get rid of Lunar, since Lunar seems unwilling to work with Sun and Moon

•Monty starts taking things more seriously, and tries to help out Sun and Moon with Eclipse and Lunar

•Moon confronts Lunar in his mindscape, and tries negotiating with him to get him to stop taking over his body, but Lunar refuses

•Lunar does his best to be more sneaky about taking over Moon, to the point where Sun cant tell, but really mainly does it so he can play games with Sun since Eclipse never wants to

•Sun and Moon try to quickly come up with a plan to stop Lunar and Eclipse, but it eventually ends up being too late, and Lunar and Eclipse completely take over Sun and Moon

•Eclipse and Lunar start searching for Monty, since he seems to have hidden the star from them

•Eclipse manages to get Monty on the phone, and Monty states that he will give Eclipse the star, only if he kills Lunar. He agrees to it, and attempts to kill him, but Lunar hauls ass and gets the hell away from Eclipse

•Monty later finds Lunar himself, and Lunar finally agrees to try and help stop Eclipse. Lunar tells Monty about an old project that Eclipse created, named Bloodmoon. Monty thinks that Bloodmoon could be the key to ending Eclipses reign of terror

•Lunar seeks out Bloodmoon, and later finds them in an old and banged up model of Moons body, and offers to give them a new one in exchange for them to help take down Eclipse

•During all of this time, Lunar is pretending to still be helping Eclipse so that he isnt suspicious of what him and Monty are up to

•Monty finishes making Bloodmoons new body from nanomachines, and Bloodmoon begins using that one from there on

•Lunar begins to sporadically let Moon out at random intervals so that he can help come up with a plan to defeat Eclipse, as well as share that plan with Sun by going into Eclipses head using magic while hes sleeping

•The plan is set. Bloodmoon will attack Eclipse enough to where hes too weak to fight back, and Sun will drag Eclipse into his head, and successfully expel him

•The plan goes forth, and it seems to work. Eclipse is gone from Suns head. Things can go back to normal! Or so they thought...

Season 2:

•Bloodmoon now has complete freedom with the deal being over, and runs off. Sun and Moon try to locate them, but to no avail

•Moon tries locating any possible backups that Eclipse has anywhere, to be sure that he cannot come back

•Moon begins getting exhausted at the search, and Sun forces him to rest

•Eclipse returns, as he had placed a backup in Bloodmoon. And Eclipse encourages them to cause chaos and torment Sun and Moon

•Due to Monty making their body out of nanomachines, they could shapeshift, and made sure to put that to use

•Moon accidentally falls into the ballpit portal while its activated, and is transported to a dimension where Eclipse had won. He and Lunar got stuck there for three days

•During that time, they had met the dimensions Sun, and with how he acted, Moon and Lunar then realized what this dimension was, and now wanted more than ever to find a way out. They also came across Monty, who told them what happened

•Lord Eclipse confronts Moon and Lunar, and attempts to capture and brainwash them just like he did to his Sun, but failed, and Moon and Lunar managed to get back home

•During that time, Sun had his own problems going on, trying to locate Moon and Lunar. He attempted opening a portal himself and hopping in in hopes of finding the two, but instead was transported to a dimension where he and Moon never separated, and had to deal with a Mad Moon. Thankfully he managed to get out of there unscathed

•Christmas comes around, and Sun, Moon, and Lunar spend some brotherly time together, and Sun gifts Lunar a small Rudolf plush, who Lunar names "Spigot"

•Meanwhile with Eclipse and Bloodmoon, Eclipse manages to find an empty bunker, and starts using that to keep him and Bloodmoon hidden from Sun and Moon while he figures out what to do next

•Eclipse builds himself a new body in the bunker, as well as another companion, and names it "Solar Flare"

•Sun, Moon, and Lunar currently have no idea that Eclipse has returned. To them, everything is finally calm

•Eclipse later shows his face again via hacking into the daycares computer system, and announces his return, along with stating that he has some new ideas, and promises to put the three through hell