#CAN YOU TELL i slept 2 and a half hours and am kinda losing it

[maadorii]

taste my disaster— i. matsukawa x gn! reader

max.note’s: i really thought about not posting this and just keeping this in my dungeon to never see the light of day but i really like this concept so here it is, mattsun romcom hehe 

synopsis: where a supposed “one time fling” during iwaizumi’s bachelor trip turns into something more. somehow.

warnings/tags: strangers to lovers, fluff, implied sexual content, suggestive themes, slow-burnish, mutual pining, recreational drug-use, food mention, pancakes

w.count— 3.8k

if there was one thing matsukawa was expecting to do on this trip, it was to get drunk while speeding down the strip at 2am from a night of gambling from the most expensive casinos las vegas had to offer. right? it was iwaizumi’s 2-week bachelor trip that oikawa had so meticulously planned mostly because he didn’t want to throw some measly little party like everyone else. he was getting married, why wouldn’t they all go out for him this one time.

but, if there was one thing matsukawa was not expecting to do on this trip, was somehow end up black out drunk; the only thing he could remember was hanamaki losing a game of black jack at caesar’s palace–– and wake up in a unfamiliar bed, naked, with a unfamiliar warm body next to him still sound asleep. who was just as naked as he was. 

it took him a minute, but when everything clicked together in his brain, matsukawa let out the deepest sigh he could muster. sinking deeper into the plush bed below him, dragging his hands across his face, pulling at the skin. his head was pounding, unbearably so, the luminous rays of the sun that filter through the curtain drapes making it worse. he looked over to you, your back turned towards him as you slept away peacefully. matsukawa’s indolent eyes leisurely scanned the expanse of your back, how it bloomed with hickeys and teeth marks. your muffled snores were the only thing that filled the stark silence of the room. 

matsukawa didn’t know what to fear more, the fact that he had sex with a random stranger last night and is now laying in their bed or iwaizumi’s wrath when he eventually gets back to the hotel. 

iwaizumi’s wrath, he chooses. definitely. 

peering over the bedside to the floor, he sees the clothes he had on yesterday strew haphazardly along with your own clothes. in the mess he finds his phone just barley alive and about several hundred text messages and missed phone calls. most of them were from oikawa, unsurprisingly. a lot of “where are you’s” and “please call us” and even a “did you die on us bro?” but that’s when he noticed the time. 

[12:42 pm]

“aw fuck.” matsukawa cursed as he flopped back on the bed, his arm lifting up to cover his eyes in annoyance. as he contemplated his options on potentially surviving this fuck up of his, you shifted next to him which caught his attention. he watched as your body turned to face him and how your eyes slowly fluttered open, the way your pupils dilated to welcome the grating sunlight. 

and when your eyes met his, you stared for a moment before closing your eyes again and snuggled back into your pillow. “––mornin’ random person in my bed...” 

matsukawa looked back confusingly, opening his mouth to say something back, when your eyes shot back wide open and jolted out the bed, dragging the duvet with you. 

“random person in my bed?! how–– how did get into my room,” you paused as matsukawa’s naked and lean body was on full display for you to gaze upon, inevitably resulting in your face burning up like a sauna. 

“and why are you naked, why am i naked?!” you screeched, wrapping your duvet around yourself, completely drowning yourself in the material. and then it sunk in for you. 

“oh no, don’t tell me––”

“that we fucked? yes.” if any more possible, you could feel your face grew hotter at his... extremely blunt statement at your predicament. you watched as matsukawa reached over the bed and slipped his legs through his boxers. at least he had the decency to cover up you thought to yourself as he shifted his way towards you on the other side of the bed. 

“look... i- i’m just as surprised and quite frankly, embarrassed about this too. i’m really sorry about all this. i’ll... just grab my stuff and i’ll be out of your hair in no time.” you didn’t get the chance to say anything as he backed away to start pulling on the clothes he had on the night before, watching him silently as he did so. you couldn’t help but feel bad as he took his time to dress himself. your gaze lingered on his eyes, and how they droop in remorse. 

just as he was pulling on his right sock, you stepped closer into his field of vision. “can i... at least know your name?” you take note of how the dark umber in his eyes seemed to glow for a split second, his gaze shifting over to you. still draped in that damn duvet like a fucking burrito. 

“it’s issei, issei matsukawa.” 

you nodded your head, jutting your chin out confidently. 

“well then, issei matsukawa. i, (y/n) (l/n), kindly ask you to join me for breakfast–– wait time is it... brunch? lunch? ahhh, fuck it. just come get something to eat with me. please?”

––

matsukawa watched as you shoved half of your omelette in your mouth, your eyes gleaming as you chewed happily, savoring the flavor.

the table was loaded with an assortment of all kinds of food, mostly breakfast food. from sweet honeyed pastries to smoky, charred sausages. in front of him was a stack of warm and fluffy buttery pancakes, dripping in warm gooey syrup. matsukawa could feel his mouth water just simply staring at it, his fingers twitching to inch towards the fork next to the plate, dying to have a bite. 

you noticed his tentative actions towards the plate in front of him, the way his teeth pulled on his bottom lip in slight anticipation. swallowing the mouthful of food, you nudge him with foot, catching his attention. 

“eat, i know you’re hungry. you don’t need my permission to eat,” you chastised, returning to your omelette. 

matsukawa didn’t waste any time digging into his food, practically shoving the whole pancake in mouth. his nostrils flared out as he chewed, moaning at the flavor bursting on his tongue. you chuckled as he quickly shoveled another one in his mouth. 

“woah, slow down there tiger. good aren’t they?”

he nodded frantically and continued to shovel bite after bite. and you smiled at that. it still was kinda crazy how you’re out eating with someone that you... just had sex with last night. a one night stand? can you even call it that? was this even a normal thing? you weren’t entirely sure considering you couldn’t remember a single damn thing from last night.

when you both finished most of the food, tummies full and satisfied, a slightly uncomfortable silence fell between you two. 

“so...” you started, tapping your fingers against the mug as you looked anywhere but the man in front of you. 

“so...” matsukawa copied your actions. you sunk lower in your chair, blowing the hair that landed on your face. why was this so hard? oh wait...

“since we...we, well you know where i’m going with this––”

“since we had sex? fucked?” his eyebrow twitched upward.

“well shit, you didn’t have to put it so... bluntly, issei.” you remarked.

“shit, i was just simply stating what we’re both thinking, (y/n).” the corner of his lips tugged with mirth at your annoyed face, his eyes crinkling at the corner.

you couldn’t help your own lips tug the same as his, your body shaking as laughter struck between the two of you. as you both laughed, the waiter brought over the check, clearing some plates out the way while doing so. matsukawa was about to reached out to grab the bill before you snatched it out of his reach. he was about to argue but you pulled out your card, already handing it to the waiter as he returned. 

––

“oh, so you’re from new york?” you asked as you both weaved through the heavily dense sidewalks of the vegas strip, an assortment of performers and tourist, big and small accompanied you. nothing new you haven't seen before. all while dying in the blistering heat that did nothing but sit on your backs. 

“well technically, i was born in a small town in japan, but moved when my parents decided to immigrate here when i was about, ahhh i don’t know 4 or 5 years old.” matsukawa explained, wiping the sweat beaded at his brows. “what about you?”

“me? i was born and raised here in good ole' nevada. but i didn’t move here to vegas until high school.” you cheered unenthusiastically with just as unenthusiastic jazz hands. "it's nothing really special, vegas i mean."

“really? well, i guess that makes sense. you did take me a hole in the wall restaurant with damn near the best pancakes on the fucking earth. ” you chortled at his statement, hanging off matsukawa’s arm as you laughed loudly, catching the attention of a few bystanders.

“oh god, you’re still on about those damn pancakes?”

“yes i am! those beautiful, golden brown cakes of pure buttery fluffiness that just basically melt in your mouth at the first bite?” he rambled, basically foaming at the mouth. conversation was light between the two of you, it felt natural. not forced. matsukawa didn’t make things awkward. it felt so carefree talking to him, almost as if you’re floating. 

but it was when you came to, that you realized that you made it to the hotel that matsukawa was supposed to be staying at. a part of you grew glum at the thought of having to separate from the man next to you. within the last few hours that you spent with matsukawa, you came to the conclusion that you really, really liked him. what wasn’t there to like about him? he had a great sense of humor, he was charming and gentlemen like. and, that fact he was incredibly attractive was just the cherry on top of the sundae. 

you didn’t want to leave, in fact, you can bathe in the attention he showered you in. 

“welp, i guess it’s time to die.” he said dryly as he turned to you, rubbing the back of his neck shyly. 

“good luck with that. i hope your friend doesn't kill you, but based on the description of him you gave, it seems likely.”

“yes, highly.” 

a silence fell over the both of you again for the second time that day, avoiding each other's lingering gazes. why was this shit still hard?

“can- can i have your number?” he blurted out randomly, voicing your thoughts out loud for the both of you. staring into his umber eyes, you broke contact first to pull out your phone from your back pocket to hand it to him.

“i’ll be honored.”

––

surprisingly, matsukawa wasn’t murdered by iwaizumi when he walked into the hotel room ten minutes later. though, he did get a hard scolding from not only iwaizumi but oikawa as well while hanamaki snickered in the background.

“i feel like a five year old who's been caught with sticky fingers.” matsukawa slumped, crossing his arms over his broad chest. 

“as you should! what the hell were you thinking last night? getting drunk and having a one night stand with someone else, jesus mattsun, and i thought maki was bad.” oikawa grumbled frowning, but it didn’t last long when hanamaki threw a dirty sock at the back of his head. matsukawa rolled his eyes at the two childish adults began fighting with each other, wrapping each other up in headlocks of the sorts.

he sighed again, lifting himself up from the so called “interrogation” chair as hanamaki called it to head towards the shower. “hey, mattsun.” 

perking up at the nickname, he turned around to see iwaizumi standing behind him with an unreadable face. earlier when he walked in, his face definitely was the face of anger and rightfully so. but now...

“just be careful next time, okay?”

and matsukawa knew exactly what he meant.

“yea, okay.”

––

later that evening, after contemplating whether or not you should send a “hi!” or a simple “hey,” you finally texted matsukawa. and almost immediately you got a text back from him. you bounced up and down in your room, feeling like an excited teenager who just talked to their crush for the first time all over again. is this what it was? a crush? maybe, and you should be mad at yourself for feeling like this, but you didn’t have the heart to do so. 

and over the span of the next week, the messages never seemed to end. on some nights, he would call you instead of texting you to tell you about his day. what attractions he went to see that day, what places he went to eat at that day and how much money he lost playing poker at the casinos. and he would ask you about your day, about your day at work. did you eat today, are you taking care of yourself? 

your heart melted at the sweet messages he would send you throughout the day, reminding you to care of yourself and heck, maybe even be a little selfish if need be. some of your coworkers caught onto your starstruck gaze when you looked at your phone and few even tried to ask why but you’ll brush them off. oikawa, hanamaki and iwaizumi even noticed matsukawa’s sudden interest in his phone recently. and even when they're all laughing at oikawa losing again for the third time at russian roulette, matsukawa wasn’t entirely in the moment.

 because he’s waiting for a text from you. 

they noticed the way his eyes glowed when his phone ping, indicating that you texted him back finally. the way his ears perked like dog. although they were suspicious, they didn’t say anything, knowing he’ll come around eventually. 

–

it was the friday before they all had to fly back to new york, the cool desert night air filled his lungs as matsukawa perched himself on the balcony of the hotel room. the gleaming lights of the vegas strip below illuminated the curves of his face in a soft glow of blue, magenta and gold. 

suddenly, his phone started ringing in his back pocket. he smiled when he saw it was your contact lightening the screen of his phone. answering, he brought the phone towards his ear, “well hello my dear (y/n). nice of you to call me on this fine evening we’re having here.” 

he hears you snort on the other end over the slight static of the phone. there was muffle shuffling before you replied, “nothing much my dear issei, just sitting here bored as hell so i thought, why not give you a call.”

matsukawa felt his heart skip a beat at your statement, trying to contain the smile that was tugging on his lips. 

“haha, how thoughtful of you...” and then it was quiet again, save for the occasional horns of cars stuck in traffic.

“hey, uh… issei?” you interrupted.

“yeah?” 

“can i… can i see you tonight?” 

––

matsukawa stood outside the place you asked him to meet at 30 minutes ago on the phone, which just so happen to be a very crowded and loud nightclub not far from the hotel he was staying at. he could hear the bass of the music thump against inside of his bones, the rhythm sending chills up his spine. he watched as people filed into the building like a swarm of files. 

it was another 5 minutes until he heard your voice call out to him from behind. and when he turned around to say hi back, his jaw dropped to the floor at the sight of you. but he quickly contained himself as you approached him, trying to blow away the rouge that tinted his cheeks in the slightest. 

“hey, ready to go inside?” you questioned, reaching out to hold his hand, pulling him slightly towards the entrance of the club. and he nodded dumbly behind you, cursing himself inside his head for acting like a hormonal teenage boy in front of you. he couldn’t help it, especially when you’re holding his hand. you can blame it on being touch-starved.

when finally inside, bulbs of black light were hung overhead on the ceiling, making everything brighter, making the sea of club goers nothing more than blobs of fuchsia, tangerine, and aqua. you and matsukawa wormed your way through the swarm of adults, bodies sweaty, sticky and hot, shaking and bobbing their heads to the music that blasted in the overhead speakers. finding two available seats at the bar, you both situated yourselves onto the stools overlooking the crowd. 

“this is an interesting place you’ve brought me here, i honestly wasn’t expecting it.” you hear matsukawa say next to you, turning his attention to you. 

“yeah, this is one of the few clubs here in vegas that i actually go to from time to time. plus security is pretty tight here, so hopefully you won’t end up fucking someone else.” you gave him a thumbs up, a dorky smile making its way onto your lips. matsukawa’s shoulders shook as he laughed, turning towards the bartender, ordering two old fashioned’s. 

“an old fashioned? wow, i didn’t take you for a rye whiskey type of guy.” you teased, reaching out to grab your drinks when the bartender placed them in front of you. matsukawa shrugged nonchalantly, taking a sip of his own drink. 

“well, i’m always full of surprises, they say.” and when he looked at you from the corner of his eye, you could’ve sworn a you felt a chill borrow itself into your bones from the predatory gaze he sent your way. that, mixed with the half-buttoned up shirt with the gold chain he wore exposing so much skin–– much to your own liking; the way his inky curls were slicked back away from face. you swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling incredibly hot under the neon lights. 

this was simply a recipe for absolute disaster, but you didn’t mind at all. 

an hour later, after several drinks later, you found yourself being dragged onto the dance floor by a slightly tipsy matsukawa leading the way. reaching the center, the lights dimmed down even lower, the neon lights appear more luminescent in the room. The nerves you felt moments ago seemed to vanish as your body began moving to the beat of music along with matsukawa, feeling lighter than the air around you. matsukawa started doing these stupid dance moves to the song currently playing, getting a rise out of you. and at some point, the mini circle formed around the two of you as you danced the night away together, encouraged by the cheers and whistles of the crowd. 

matsukawa didn’t want this to end.

the way you’ll cling to him whether it was from laughing too hard or when you danced together to another song.

then this one song started crooning over the speakers, catching his attention. 

almost instantly, it was like time stopped around him, bleeding into a colorful flurry of fireworks. illuminating your face even more so with explosions of lavender and magenta, hints of quinacridone gold and phthalo blue.

his body relaxed seemingly watching you jump around without a care in the world. the beaming smile that radiated on your face that could argue the sun. your eyes glittering with such mirth. he hasn’t even known you for very long, but was really going to admit to himself that he… that he was possibly in love with you?

no, no, no, it’s too early to say something as... drastic as something like that. but was it?

he’s never felt like this with anyone before at all, but with you, he felt at ease. like he could be himself without having to worry about what’ll think. but there was no denying that he felt something for you.

“issei? hey, are you okay?” it was you who snapped out of his daze. 

“oh yea, i’m fine… say, how about we get out of here?”

––

you drove yourselves just outside the strip to the open desert, gazing up the phosphorescence of stars in the pitch black sky on the hood of your car. no words were shared between the two of you as you let the alcohol sink into your systems. And it was like that for a while, until you interrupted that silence. 

“you have to go back to new york on monday, right?”

matsukawa didn’t answer right away, letting your question digest in his mind, word by word. he wanted to say no, he really did, but y’all both knew that’ll be a lie. 

“yes…” 

at his answer, you sat up from your lying position on the hood, matsukawa following right behind you. your eyebrows were scrunched in distress, and he was about to say something before you beat him to the punch line. 

“issei, i… i know this whole thing is really out of the ordinary for both of us, but i can’t get these feelings off my chest. i’ve only known you for what–– two weeks? but it feels like i’ve known you my entire life and i don’t know what to do— a-and you’re leaving and i don’t want you to leave and—” you rambled on before matsukawa leaned forward to press his lips against yours, ultimately shutting you up. you didn’t waste any time returning the kiss. the same fireworks from before were going off like crazy around you like it was new year’s or the fourth of july. the moment was too surreal for any of you to believe it was real. 

and when he pulled just enough where your lips barely met, he the corner his lips twitched upwards, his hand coming around to cup the supple roundness of your cheek, his thumb gently grazing the warm skin, “it’s okay, (y/n). i feel the same way.” 

“then, promise me you’ll come back.”

“for you and those pancakes? a thousand times over.”

smiling, your lips dove to meet his again, this time harder, steamier. matsukawa slowly pulled himself on top of you, trapping you as you lie back down on the hood of the car, intensifying the kiss. he moved his lips away from yours to latched them onto your cheek, leaving a trail of glowing kisses, trailing down to your jaw as a small mewl slipping past your teeth. you weaved your fingers through the ringlets of curls of his hair, gently tugging on the strands. 

matsukawa’s hands felt up and down your torso underneath your shirt, feeling the expanse of skin beneath the pad of his finger tips, leaving burning trails in its foot. 

“issei, p-please…”

“with pleasure.”

turns out he wasn’t wrong, he was certainly always full of surprises. 

copyright © 2021 maadorii. all rights reserved. 

[sarahlynnirl]

Losing my best friend - Sugar Daddy culture is not empowering

I finally feel strong enough to talk about this and hopefully get some love, support, and reassurance from other women who agree that this is fucked up. I’ve never been “terfy on main” before so here goes. (TW child abuse + SA but no graphic descriptions of SA)

My mother is a narcissist who financially and emotionally abused my father and myself, with some additional physical abuse of me, for as long as I can remember. My dad made plenty of money but my mom controlled it all and made sure it didn’t go towards anything for me beyond the bare minimum required not to look obviously guilty of child abuse and neglect. I met Kiara (not her real name) when I was a junior in highschool and she was a freshman. Her mom was a single Korean woman doing her best to support Kiara and her 2 sisters while also running a Korean restaurant. My first jobs were a summer camp counselor and fitting room attendant at Forever 21. I would spend the last scraps of my paycheck making sure Kiara was able to order a full meal when our friends went out to dinner, buying her little gifts, and generally trying to keep us both as happy and healthy as possible.

When Kiara graduated highschool her mom drove her into Koreatown New Jersey, got her a room in the apartment of an acquaintance, and basically left her to fend for herself. Kiara spoke barely any Korean. She began working at a Korean salon where she met Ariana (not her real name). She had a NY cosmetology license, not an NJ one, while Ariana was an illegal immigrant from Korea so they were both overworked, underpaid, forced to work overtime, paid under minimum wage, and deprived of their tips. They couldn’t report or complain about this since they were both working illegally.

Kiara had to pay rent for the one room she occupied despite her land lady yelling at her, walking into her room while she slept, banning her from having friends over, and reporting to her mom if she spoke to a guy on the phone or a guy dropped her off. I was working at a restaurant in my college town on top of my classes and doing my best to keep surprising her with little gifts, but neither of us had enough disposable income to afford to visit each other. This was really difficult for me as she was my favorite person in the world and I was used to spending every second with her when we both lived in upstate NY. Ariana got them both to start using SeekingArrangement for one time meet ups with Sugar Daddies where they were paid anywhere from $200-2000 for sex. “The first time I ever did it I walked out of the hotel and just screamed because I was so disgusted and I was thinking about his wrinkly skin touching mine and all I wanted to do was get in the shower and scrub it off but I had $1000 cash in my hand for a couple hours of work which was so crazy and kinda made it all worth it ya know?” - Ariana to me

I was immediately skeptical and a little grossed out but Kiara genuinely seemed happier. She was buying new clothes for herself, ordering food to the apartment when she was hungry, and taking trips into NYC to have fun with Ariana and her friends. By the beginning of the summer of 2019, Kiara had found the Sugar Daddy who she would establish a long term agreement with and who ultimately ended up completely supporting her. I’m not going to say his name here but if people want to know it just ask, I am willing to share. He moved her into a much nicer much bigger apartment with Ariana as her roommate. He paid for me to fly up and visit her, and all of our activities during this vacation. I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry. I wish I shoved the money back in her hand before it was too late, I wish I worked harder and longer hours and got us an apartment in Florida and paid both of our rent. I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t listen to my instincts and allowed her to brush off my concerns. It was the most freedom we had ever had, I ran around NYC by myself while she was at work, and my ex took the bus to NJ from upstate NY and joined us for a few days. I feel so selfish but I also didn’t know how bad things would get.

One night Kiara and I went to NYC for dinner with her SD and she took the bus back to the apartment because she had to work early the next morning. It made sense for me to stay in the city because I was supposed to visit my friend at NYU the next morning. In the Uber to his apartment alone with him he was drunk and high and I very clearly looked scared shitless. At this point she was 19 (but she had looked that way since age 17 and I doubt he would have minded if she was lying about her age), I was 21 and he was 44. He seemed offended by my discomfort and was basically like “jeez relax I’m not gonna touch you, I really care about Kiara I think she’s so amazing, just go to the guest room and sleep, make a left to walk to NYU when you wake up.” I peaced the fuck out of there early the next morning.

After that summer Kiara and Ariana quit their jobs at the Korean salon and sugaring became their sole incomes. Ariana was still doing one time meet ups, not nearly as financially stable as Kiara, and got herself into a lot of credit card debt that to my knowledge she’s still in. At this point Kiara was flying down and staying with me in Florida so often that people at my college thought she went there too. I also wasn’t working at this point because college had gotten harder and my ex was fucking up my mental health real bad. He had given me a coke problem and Kiara sending me “grocery money” was enabling me to continue. I wasn’t honest with her about where all the money was going. During Halloween week we didn’t know that she couldn’t just snort molly (MDMA) with the frequency I was doing coke, she ODed, my guy best friend took us to the ER, it was so fucking scary, she got IV fluids for 2 hours and made a full recovery, she stopped doing molly, I kept doing coke. I’m so sorry :(

In November her SD paid for us to take a trip to Cancun Mexico. He was with us for the first part of the trip and this is where things started to get really bad. He tried to be my friend and act the way a boyfriend of my best friend who was my age would, but it was creepy and wrong and I was so uncomfortable. He asked about my drug use in a way that was gross and shamey and basically him seeing me as the “coke whore” stereotype...while continuing to buy me more coke. He also brought and gave us ecstasy pills. He asked really invasive questions about my relationship with my ex, why I stayed, my sex life, etc. It felt like an uncle asking me these questions, I did NOT wanna talk about any of this with him. But from what I did say it was very clear to someone with 44 years of life experience that I had an abusive mother, an addictive personality, and was in an unhealthy relationship. He offered to set me up with an SD friend of his looking for a sugar baby. I of course declined because I always knew this was a boundary I wasn’t willing to cross. No matter how bad my addictions got I would NOT give up that piece of myself in return for money.

In this part of Mexico, drugs that were only given with a prescription in the US were available over the counter. Kiara and I got a little box of 1mg Xanax with my money. My ex had given us Xanax a couple times in NY and we had fun with it, but at this point in time we did NOT have a problem with it. We had bought one bar, broken it in half, and each took half one night of Halloween week and called it “xanpires”, but this wasn’t something we were scripted or buying regularly from plugs. We went to dinner with her SD, we got up to go to the bathroom, and she immediately slipped and hit the ground. I was like woah did you take one of the xans and forget? Because we were supposed to tell each other if we were taking one so we could look out for each other. I was never mad at her! I never wanted money from her! I was just a little concerned, and once I determined that she was safe we thought it was kinda funny that she had taken a xan without realizing and started joking around about it. Her SD of course didn’t understand how a 19 year old and 21 year old girl joke with each other because he was a creepy old man, decided that we were “arguing”, and got up from the restaurant, walked across the street, bought a 90 count bottle of 2mg xans and gave it to me. This was honestly the most irresponsible way someone has ever treated me in my life, and this is coming from someone with an abusive and neglectful parent. Google “benzo withdrawal” if you’re not familiar with it.

We went to a different hotel, and Kiara and I both took xans and blacked out. I passed out on the guest bed, while Kiara was awake but in a conscious blackout. I woke up on the couch on the balcony (which was fine, it was comfy and I saw the sunrise over the beach. The gross part was that meant her SD had picked me up, put his hands on my body while I was unconscious and carried me out there). I remembered that at one point I had woken up, wanted to go to the bathroom or get something from inside, caught a glimpse of what I thought was them having sex, and went back outside. I mentioned it to Kiara and she had no memory of it whatsoever, she thought all she had done was gone to sleep. She was rightfully pissed the fuck off that her SD had taken advantage and done things with her while she was blacked, screamed at him, he gave us a half ass apology, and bought us more stuff (buying our silence). He finally flew home and we got to enjoy the trip with just each other, but I was careless with the dosage of a drug called tramadol, and I ODed with my head in her lap...I’m sorry. When I woke up I was hallucinating, hearing voices, crying hysterically and terrified. Kiara called my ex who asked how many mg I took, told us I was 100mg short of the amount that would require medical attention, made me laugh, and told me to go to sleep. I recognize how scary and unfair to her this was and I really do take responsibility for my actions. The day I was supposed to leave I did ecstasy, hooked up with a guy from Canada, and tried to skip my flight. She was mad because like yeah what the fuck. She got me on the flight, the ecstasy comedown hit, and there’s pictures of me crying in the airport because I hated when we fought.

I was supposed to stop in Miami, then fly back to my college town but while in Miami I texted my granny that I was “sad and really didn’t feel good and could she and my uncle visit me at the airport and bring my uncles dog?”. Her parenting instincts went off that something was very wrong, made me skip the flight, picked me up from the airport and took me to her house where I immediately threw up and ran an extremely high fever that night. She said it was one of the scariest nights of her life and she kept checking on me to see if I needed to go to the hospital. She drove me back to my college town where my guy best friend took me to the ER and it came out that Kiaras SD, in addition to giving me drugs, had also allowed me to drink Mexican tap water throughout the entire trip. I was treated for that + given chlamydia meds just in case since I’d had unprotected sex in a foreign country. I was fine, promised to do better, Kiara forgave me, things started to go back to normal. Except I had begun taking Xanax daily to deal with the anxiety of the illness...and she had a trip to Bali planned.

During that trip things managed to get even worse. She was there with her SD and another Korean friend and her SD was pressuring her and guilting her into sex, isolating her from her friend, going through her phone, and becoming extremely aggressive. She would call me crying and having panic attacks and I would walk out of class to try to comfort her over FaceTime. She did not have panic attacks before this trip. She begged to go home early because something was very wrong but he said it was a waste of money and kept her in Bali until the planned end of the trip. I think it was almost a month. She sent me a recording she secretly took of him screaming at her and her saying “don’t touch me, don’t grab me like that, leave me alone”. When she got back to the US I was begging her to stop. I was so worried for her safety. I said the money wasn’t worth it, we’ll get jobs, please just stop. I’m pretty sure he read those messages. We also had a suspicion that he had installed spyware on her phone but were never able to prove it. At this point I also reached out to my dad for help and his response was basically “I don’t care, not my problem, focus on school”. I reached out to my granny who absolutely cared, but her response was “I’m sorry but I can’t afford to support her, I have to focus on taking care of you, if she won’t stop this you’ll have to stop being friends with her”.

I went home to New York for winter break, suffered through my first round of Xanax withdrawal and was truly trying to get better but my ex manipulated his was back in my life and got me addicted again....but now this bottle of 90 had run out. I went back to my college town, got scripted, and was copping street bars when my script inevitably ran out early. What comes next is blurry for obvious reasons. We moved to the town in Florida my granny lived in and got an apartment together. The female friends she made in our town (my current home) she got most of them into sugaring and using SeekingArrangement. Things deteriorated super fast at this point. I was struggling hard, failing my online classes, and eventually got completely financially cut off by my parents. My granny was paying my half of the rent and my puppy’s vet bills but I was too embarrassed to admit I couldn’t afford groceries. Kiara was pressuring me hard to go on SeekingArrangement but I still refused. I would sit on the floor of the bathroom in a towel after I showered and just cry because the steam made me nauseous and dizzy since I wasn’t eating.

I met my current boyfriend and something just started to click: I didn’t wanna live like this anymore. The mom of a friend from this town who also refuses to sugar landed me an interview at the gym I currently work at, I fought for the job, and I got it. Now I knew I didn’t wanna be completely fucked up all the time anymore but I was still doing enough Xanax to keep me out of withdrawal. The 2mg that had blacked me out at the beginning were now just barely enough to keep me functional. Kiara and I were fighting frequently and bad by this time. She and her partner in sugaring, Mena (not her real name but pretty close to it, fuck this bitch fr) were expecting me to keep how they made their money a secret....from friends and guys that I saw every single day. They both very obviously did not work and were flexing new cars, designer clothes, and cash all over their social media. Kiara thought she could cover her ass by saying she dealt drugs but it was also obvious that she wasn’t putting the time into that to come up with the amount of money she had. The only one dealing drugs was me, and not enough to do anything flashy, just enough that in addition to my work money I was usually getting enough to eat. But there were still some times when the previous weeks paycheck had run out and I was having my first meal of the day at 3pm after someone had bought adderall from me. We had our serious serious fight where she threw my stuff in the lawn and I lived with my current boyfriend full time for about a couple weeks since my bedroom at my granny’s was getting refloored when this happened.

By January 20th he was concerned by my Xanax problem and wanted me to seriously try to stop. At the time I started tapering because I wanted the girlfriend title but I’m forever grateful for him giving me a reason, even if it was a shallow one, because I just needed to START. We tried to reconcile once, despite boyfriend and guy best friend begging me not to, and of course the same problems reappeared, we had another serious fight and haven’t spoken since.

Now the fog is clearing and today I’m 96 days clean of xanax, 16 days clean of all benzos, and 19 days clean of gabapentin (what was keeping me from having a seizure while quitting benzos). But it’s hard because being out of the fog means feeling all of my emotions, even the really bad ones. This past week I’ve been waking up and crying sitting in front of my mirror trying to put my makeup on for work and it just drips right off and I have to start over. She was my best friend for 8 years. My favorite person. My partner in life. I loved her more than anyone.

My boyfriend and guy best friend are pretty uncomfortable when they hear someone express an opinion of me that’s “Kiara’s side of the story” and I don’t correct it. Both of them saw exactly how bad it got near the very end and don’t get why I don’t defend myself more or tell people about her letting my dog eat dab (THC) wax while she was supposed to be watching her and having to be rushed to the animal hospital TWO separate times. (She’s a Pomeranian and the highly concentrated THC was super dangerous to her tiny little body). Yelling at me and giving me the silent treatment because less than 48 hours after my SA she expected me to drive her to a hair appointment in Miami and I woke up late and didn’t get her there on time with traffic. Me begging her to be there for me when it felt like everything was falling apart and I self harmed for the first time and her leaving me to go on a vacation to Orlando with a girl we didn’t even really like. Me not wanting to sleep in the apartment alone after my SA and her not letting me sleep in her bed anymore, her and Mena just dumping me at the neighbor’s so they could continue to sugar, party, and see guys our age at night (this sounds super awful but neighbors roommate —> current boyfriend. He kept me safe until I felt better, was really sweet and careful, and I was the one to make the first move). There’s more but I really don’t like talking about it, after the abuse she went through and I assume is still going through, I expect her to be pretty damaged and not have it in her to treat people right all the time. Not exposing every bad thing she’s ever done to all our mutual friends and acquaintances is kind of my last gift to her.

I also admit that sugaring wasn’t responsible for everything that went wrong. Loving an addict is difficult and exhausting and I went through it myself with my ex. I was also out bi and she was “probably straight, maybe a little bi-curious” in her words. But when she was drunk or on Xanax she’d kiss me first...we had done more than kiss but only during 3somes with a guy. I don’t know, I think I loved her more than I was supposed to and some of the stuff she’d say made me think she saw me in a way she really didn’t. When we first moved to this town I had a thing with a girl and expected it to be no big deal but things here were different than up north. I got called the d slur for the first time by someone who wasn’t joking. It was like getting slapped I was so shocked and hurt, I truly didn’t think that happened anymore. I think she saw what happened to me and kinda closed off that part of herself because she didn’t wanna experience that herself. She stopped making out with me at bars and parties after that and it made me sad and maybe a little jealous. But I really do blame her SD for basically “breaking her”, for handing me that first bottle of free Xanax, for a lot of other little things that I can’t possibly include because this is already way too long. This is my first time even saying this much. Feel free to add your own experiences or thoughts on this or anything you’d like. [I’m prepared to get death threats or called a SWERF or whatever but I don’t care, now that I started talking about this I’m not going to stop.]

[descendantofthesparrow]

Protective v.2 - Harry Hook x reader - oneshot rewrite

rewrite of one of my first oneshots! Protective! which was a request back when i was taking them! i just wanted to update the writing and plot a bit lol. i dont remember who originally requested it, i think it was an anon request otherwise i would @/ them! 

=

You stared down at the plus sign on the little pink stick in your hands, you had taken the test three sperate times, only for it to be positive each time.

You were pregnant.

With Harry Hooks baby.

How did you know to check if you were? It had been three months since your last period, and you had not been feeling the best for the last two.

Throwing up each day, motion sickness, and then unable to eat at times, then get the oddest cravings only minutes later.

Uma told you there was only one option.

And there it was, staring right back at you, pregnancy.

How were you going to tell Harry…

How were you going to tell Mal?

She hated Uma and Harry, there's no way in hell she would approve of you and harry together, that’s the whole reason you never told her about your meetups in the seven months you had been seeing harry.

You were glad that Mal never got the inkling to walk over to Uma's territory and see you and Harry together.

Evie might be happy for you but with one word from Mal she would turn, and you didn’t want to lose any of them, but you didn’t want to lose Harry and Uma either.

Harry had saved you at a dark time in your life, and Uma had taken you in even though you were apart of Mal's crew, the two-no them and their crew had become a second family to you.

If Mal refused you simply because you had been flirting with the “enemy” you would gladly throw down her flag to raise Uma's.

But you still at least wanted to tell your friends about your accidental pregnancy before they left for Auradon, which was within the hour.

=

“hey guys?” the four vks stopped, looking over at you and raising their brow “I need to talk to you before you leave”

“Okay, shoot” Mal hummed, tossing her sketchbook in her backpack and leaning against the wall. Claros and Evie stopping in their little card game and giving you their full attention, Jay sighing and nodding to you.

“um-im pre-“ “MAL!” Mal jumped at her mother's shrill voice echoing through the room, leaning over to look at her mother looking into the room “get your butt over here, the limo is here!” “you said it wouldn’t be here till 11!” Mal yelled back, Maleficent just pointed over at the wall clock, the five of you hurrying to look.

It read 11:01 am.

“shit” Mal cursed, grabbing her bags and running out of the room, the rest of the vks quickly packing up their things and following after Mal, Evie quickly grabbing your arm and tugging you along.

You tried to get a word in but by the time you caught your breath, everyone but Mal was already loaded into the van.

“mal?” you whispered, stiffening as Mal smirked and patted your arm.

“you can tell us when we get back kay? Oh, and stay away from the docks, Hooks been eyeing you up and I don’t trust him or Uma as far as I can throw them.”

You couldn’t get out a word, your brain shorting out  “i-I okay” you muttered, watching mal nod and hop into the limo, feeling your nails dig into the palm of your hand as you watched your friends drive away.

=

Hours later you sat in Uma’s room, watching Uma stare down at the positive test in her hands, your leg bouncing as you waited for her reaction. She looked up at you and smiled.

“congrats girl, now how you telling Harry?”

You sighed in relief at her calm demeanor and shrugged “I have no clue how i’m going to tell him, i’m-i’m not scared of it, but I don’t know how he’ll react, I mean, he’s never shown any interest in kids other than the twins and-I really don’t know if he’ll react…positively to this?”

“well you have to tell him at some point (y/n), it's his kid too”

“I know I know….I just don’t know how to tell Harry im-“

“tell meh wha?” you squealed and spun around, seeing Harry in the doorway, brows raised in confusion “sorry love, but Uma, yer mom is lookin fer yeh”

Uma groaned and stood from her bed, pushing past harry and nodding at you “tell him” Harry gave her an odd look and walked over to you, taking your hands and pressing his lips to the back of your hand.

“what do yeh need ta tell meh lass?”

“um-i-“ you stuttered, eyes moving about the room, avoiding his gaze. The grip on your hands tightened before they released, moving to your shoulders.

“are yeh okay?” Harry murmured, worry buried in his tone, “yer kinda scarin’ meh?”

“i’m-i’m” you took a deep breath, taking Harrys hands and placing them on your stomach “i’m pregnant”

Harry entire body stopped, eyes locked on your intertwined hands placed on your stomach “harry” you whispered, feeling bile rise in your throat and the anxiety grow the longer he stared at you “um-are you….is this okay?”

“im gon’a be a da’” Harry finally whispered, tears trailing down his cheeks as a smile broke out on his face, he looked up at you, his eyes shining with joy “im gonn’a be a da!” he picked you up by the waist, spinning you around as he laughed and continued to repeat the phrase “im gonn’a be a da!”

You broke free from your trance and started to laugh with him, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning back in his arms, stumbling a bit as he set you on your feet and pulled you into his chest. “ill be the best da’d I ca’n be on this dumpster fire of an island I swear” harry muttered into your neck, you hummed and tightened your grip around his shoulders.

“well we might not have to raise them here” Harry pulled back, raising his brow “Mal and the others went to Auradon today, and they’re going to get the wand and free us all” a grin spread on Harry's face, his eyes brightening.

“yes!” he picked you up again and held you tightly, you giggled, wrapping your legs around his waist “we can get a house by the shore! An’ well get our own ship to travel the world an-“ you laughed and pressed your finger to his lips, silencing him.

“why don’t we take this one step at a time okay?” Harry pouted, but nodded, setting you down on your feet again and grabbing your hand.

“fine, let's go get yeh some food okay?” he lead you out of Uma’s room and towards the chip shop.

“okay~” you sang, feeling the weight on your shoulders fall as you mentally reaffirmed yourself that Harry was happy to be a dad, and wouldn’t be leaving you.

-

You stared at the tv in the chip shop, watching in horror as your…friends, betrayed you, choosing to stay in Auradon and be good.

They…..they weren’t going to come back….you knew it….some might say it was too early to tell, some might say they were playing the long con.

But you knew Mal, you knew Evie, Jay, Carlos….they were truly choosing good, and were leaving you behind.

The world around you blurred, Harry's feral cursing and growing fading into the background, you feebly reached out, fingers brushing against his jacket.

“(y/-(y/n)!” he called out to you, his hands wrapping around your head and waist as you fell out of your chair and crumbled to the floor.

-

The sound of something being hit woke you from your impromptu sleep, Harry's quiet cursing in the background.

You cracked your eyes open, surveying the room, seeing that you were in Harry's room, buried in his sheets while he paced around the room, hands buried in his hair and muttering to himself.

“gakit cunts, tell Uma n’ I that she's theirs then jus’ leave her” he cursed, stamping his foot as he spun on his heel, his bright blue eyes locked with yours, widening and bolting over to you, crashing on his knees to kneel next to you “love are yeh okay?!” “i’m fine” you sighed, slowly sitting up and sitting against Harry's pillows “just….shocked you know?”

“aye…i’m so sorry (y/n)….” He pressed his hand to your stomach, shoulders slumping “we won't be able ta raise them in the open world like we wanted”

“as long as i’m with you harry, it doesn’t matter” you comforted, pressing your hand to his cheek and rubbing it with your thumb. He gave a soft smile and leaned up to press a soft kiss to your cheek.

“I feel the same” he smiled, standing and climbing onto the bed next to you, pulling your head to his shoulder and letting you relax against him “ye need ta be more careful from now on okay? We can't ‘ave more spills like that”

You snorted, closing your eyes and rubbing your cheek against his chest “you say that yet everyday you half risk your life for the stupidest shit”

Harry rolled his eyes, kissing the top of your head and closing his eyes “whatever” he mumbled.

You gently smacked his thigh and maneuvered to rest in the crook of his body, pulling the blanket over the two of you and sighing, ready for a nap.

Uma entered the room thirty minutes later, looking for harry, stopping as she saw you and Harry wrapped up in each other's embrace, your face buried in his neck and head resting on his shoulder.

One of Harry's arms completely wrapped around your waist protectively, the other arm resting beneath your head and hand covering his eyes as he slept silently.

Uma sighed and smiled, stepping out of the room quietly and closing the door behind her “I’ll get Gil to do it” she muttered, walking back up to the main deck.

=

After 7 and a half months and an exhausting 72 hours in labor, you had finally delivered your month and a half early baby. “hi” you whispered, a tired grin spreading across your face as Desiree handed the screaming babe to you “you came a little early hun” you cooed, feeling fresh happy tears prick at your eyes as the small hand of your newborn wrapped around your finger, her eyes cracked open the slightest bit, Harry's bright blue irises staring at you for a moment before they closed.

“Harry” you laughed, not taking your eyes off the babe as he slowly leaned up from his crouched position by your side and looked at the swaddle of red and pink in your arms “she has your eyes”

“really?” Harry whispered in wonder, reaching out to touch the baby's pudgy cheek gently, gasping as she let out a small whine and released your finger to grab his “i-iahhghghg” Harry fell back on his knees, his eyes shining with tears “she's perfect” he whined, voice wavering.

You giggled and shifted to maneuver the baby into Harry's arms, he sputtered for a moment before he took her comfortably in his arms, the babes head resting on his arm safely. “oh” he whispered, unable to look away from the little girl in his arms….his little girl “she's amazin’ love” he sniffed, biting his lip.

You smiled, snuggling down into the sweaty pillows and contently watching Harry hold your brand new baby girl in his arms, looking down at her with the softest look.

“what-what are we naming ‘er?” Harry whispered, gasping as the babe let out a little burp and snuggled into his arms, tiny hand grasping onto his shirt.

“what about the names we discussed” you mumbled, feeling sleep weighing down on your eyes.

“….Emma? but I thought yeh wanted the name ta be Arella if it was a girl?” Harry asked, carefully standing and sliding onto the bed.

“why not both,” you asked, resting your cheek against his arm, smiling softly at the sleeping baby girl.

“….Emma Arella?....that sounds a bit odd, Arella Emma Hook….I like that?” Harry rambled to himself, staring off into a corner while absentmindedly rocking the babe.

“I like Arella Emma” you sighed, closing your eyes and slowly falling into the comfortable reins of sleep, following your little Arella’s lead.

“Arella Emma Hook” Harry whispered, leaning down and kissing her head “Welcome to the world, my love”

-

You bounced Arella on your hip as you traveled the back alleys of the Isle to get back to the ship after visiting Dizzy to have her cut your hair. You cooed at Arella and turned a corner, stopping as you locked eyes with a familiar blue-haired “princess”

“(y/n)?” Evie gasped, her hands covering her mouth “you-you’re still-“

“here?” you snapped, glaring at the three-no four teens standing across from you, shock clear on the vks faces, and confusion on the fourth….king ben. “how surprising, but considering you abandoned me, I guess It shouldn’t be” you lifted Arella to your shoulder and started to turn back towards the docks when Evie reached out to grab your shoulders.

“(y/n) wait we never-is that a baby?” Evie stopped mid-sentence, staring right back at Arella, who was glaring back at her, her bright ocean blue eyes flashing.

“yes, and she's the reason I needed to talk to you before you left” you muttered, smirking at the look on Evie's face. “oh? Did I forget to mention? Oh, wait! I just never got the chance since well, you never came back like you promised” you spat, stepping away from Evie as she tried to reach out to you again. “(y/n)” Evie started, her brown eyes dark with tension “whos the father? Did you say yes?”

“how-how dare you?!” you screamed, taking several steps back from the vks, tightening your grip on Arella, “you think she's a rape baby?! I-I” you sputtered, feeling your face heat up the longer you looked at the traitors “and for your information the father is-“ “Step away from them, now” the deep growling voice of your boyfriend seeped in from the shadows behind you, hand gently curling on your shoulder and guiding you behind him as he stepped up, drawing his sword, guarding you against your old “friends”

Jay glared at the pirate, attempting to rush him and grab your arm to get you away from what he thought was the enemy. Harry snarled, slashing down at his arm, making jay leap back, yelping as harry slashed to the side with his sword “what did I tell  yeh Jay, stay away from my girl”

“yo-your girl?!” Jay sputtered, eyes leaping between you and Harry “but-she-“ he shook his head “there's no way that kids yours Hook! (y/n) couldn’t have possibly gotten pregnant AND given birth within six months!”

You grabbed Harry's shoulder as his entire body tensed, shaking your head as he turned to you with confused eyes, you handed the squirming Arella to him, who immediately latched onto his neck and snuggled into him.

“look” you sighed, crossing your arms and cocking your hip “me and Harry were together before you left, and I was three months pregnant the day you left, I was trying to tell you about it but you left before I could tell you and then you never came back, I really didn’t have a choice” you sighed, shrugging your shoulders “I never told you before that because I knew Mal would throw me to the streets to fend for myself, and not one of you would have said a thing”

The three vks looked at each other, shame clear in their expressions, Evie tried to speak up again but you silenced her with the waved of your hand “don’t bother, nothing you say will make it better” you turned around, grabbing Harrys now free hand and leading him away.

Ben watched the two teen parents walk away from him, frowning as the vks shook their head and continued onto their hideout. They-they were just going to leave it at that? They defiantly knew who she was, and expressed worry for her but….they were just going to move on? Not even ask him if she could come to Auradon…in the six months, not once had they mentioned her…

Ben looked back to where the red-coated pirate and (y/n) had once stood….as soon as he got back to Auradon, the next round of vks would finally be coming to Auradon.

Starting with Harry, (y/n) and their baby.

-end-

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@verboetoperee​ @rintheemolion​

[misc-headcanons]

Can I get a cute scenario for Aizawa where his pro hero wife is fighting a villain who has a quirk that can turn people into animals and she happens to get turned into a cat and the effects last for 2 days. And when he gets home he finds a strange cat waiting for him outside their home and she's trying to get him to understand it's her and that she hasn't disappeared but she can only meow

Aizawa/F!Reader: A Strange Re-mew-nion

Word Count: 1500+

(I had no idea what the title should be, but I DID know I wanted to make a shitty cat pun)

He wasn’t a stranger to finding new strays by his apartment. There were plenty of them in the neighborhood, and they always enjoyed the small bowls of water he’d leave in the summertime and the cardboard boxes lined with towels in the winter. But when he made it to his doorstep after a long night of work, he noticed a cat that was leaning against the small front window, pushing against the glass with all its might. The moment it realized it was no longer alone, it ran right up to Aizawa as it yowled and meowed over and over.

Aizawa knelt down to let the cat sniff his hand, but it seemed to already be familiar with him; instead of getting accustomed to his scent, the stray rubbed its head against Aizawa while it continued to mewl. Had it met him before? It didn’t really look like any of the other strays that would come up to him--and he would’ve definitely remembered a cat that babbled as much as this one.

He fished his keys out from his pocket and went to unlock his door, and he saw the cat eagerly watching him as it stood beside his foot. “...I don’t usually let you guys inside,” he said with a yawn. He tried to guide it to a small wire basket with an old towel placed inside, just a few inches away. “You can sleep there, alright?”

The cat didn’t even give the makeshift bed a second glance. It looked intently at Aizawa, and then at the door before letting out an insistent chirp as it rubbed against the door. Why the hell were they so eager to go inside his house? It wasn’t as if it was cold or rainy out, and even if it was they would have plenty of shelter in the bed underneath the apartment awning.

Aizawa was about to just pick the cat up and place it in the basket when he froze in place and stared at the front window. Even with the thick curtains in front of it, he could tell that the lights were off in the living room. He hadn’t come home to that sight since he was still living by himself, before ____ had moved in and insisted on leaving the lights on for him no matter what time he came home during the night. “It’s just to let you know that I’m thinking about you out there,” she’d insisted with a bright smile. “I won’t leave every light on obviously, but you can see the light coming from the window and know that I’m here waiting for you.”

It was nearly 4 in the morning. She should’ve left the light on hours ago when she’d gotten back from her shift at her own agency. She should be inside. Aizawa remembered that he’d first seen this stray cat desperately trying to make its way inside, and a sick feeling of dread crept into his chest.

He withdrew his bindings and carefully turned the key to unlock his front door, with a soft click of the bolt moving in the lock being the only sound he made. As he opened the door and was ready to face a potential ambush from whatever--or whoever--was inside, the cat ran inside and jumped onto the sofa nearby. Aizawa made a quick and stealthy sweep through the house, checking for any signs of disturbance or a struggle. Oddly enough, he couldn’t find that seemed to indicate ____ had gotten hurt or kidnapped; in fact, the still-hanging laundry on the balcony, the pristine bed, and the missing leftovers she usually placed in the fridge for him pointed to her not coming home at all since she left to go to work.

The stray cat followed him through the apartment, its head swiveling around as it seemed to search for something. Aizawa noticed it peering at a photo frame on a bookshelf in his bedroom, and then watched it make a dash for the shelf. “Oi, what--”

The cat leapt up to the third shelf and placed a paw on top of the frame, meowing louder than before. It used its other front paw to beckon Aizawa closer as if it were a stereotypical maneki-neko placed on a shop’s front counter. With no other leads to go on, Aizawa hesitantly stepped forward and waited for the cat to do...something. It carefully placed a paw on the photo, right on top of ____’s smiling face; it then moved to place its paw on its chest. It continued to meow more and more, repeating the same gesture.

Aizawa’s bloodshot eyes narrowed as he observed the cat. He had to be sleep-deprived, misinterpreting or humanizing what this animal was doing. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d imagined something strange, only for his wife to tell him that no, the little flashing light he’d seen on the ceiling wasn’t a camera or bomb: it was the smoke detector they’d had for three years, just blinking the way it usually did. He must have forgotten that ____ had plans with someone, or was going on an overnight trip, or--

“Nyaaaa!”

Aizawa blinked a few times, snapping out of his tired train of thought as the cat pressed its nose up against his. Without breaking eye contact, it slowly pointed at the photo of ____ again, and then to itself. “Mrrow?”

“...____?”

The cat nodded, and Aizawa stared wide-eyed at the cat--no, his wife...his wife-who-may-also-be-a-cat. “You’re ____?”

The cat-who-may-have-been-his-wife nodded.

Aizawa sat down on the bed and stared at them with his fingers tented. After taking a deep breath, he rubbed his eyes and then looked back at the cat. “Nod for ‘yes’, shake your head for ‘no’,” he said flatly. “Do you understand?”

____ nodded.

“Did this happen due to someone else’s Quirk?” Nod.

“Is it from a criminal with a registered Quirk?” Nod. Aizawa nodded slightly to himself; if it was a registered Quirk user, he could find out the specifics of this ability and hopefully find out if this transformation would go away on its own or if he needed outside help.

“Okay.” He pulled out his cell phone to access the country’s Quirk registry using his Hero credentials, and noticed that he’d missed two voicemails from his wife’s personal assistant. A very nervous voice came over the speaker:

H-Hi, Eraserhead. I know ____ said to only use this contact number for emergencies only, and this isn’t really life-threatening or anything, so don’t worry! She’s okay, she’s unhurt, but...um...There was a Villain she fought, one with a transformation Quirk. It’s temporary, the registry file says the effect only lasts 48 hours, but...yeah. She’s currently a cat. Her Hero costume is at the agency, since she kinda, you know, crawled out of it after changing sizes and species and all that. But don’t worry! She’s perfectly safe here at the agency, so call us back and you can come pick her up whenever you’re back from your shift.

Aizawa listened to the next voicemail, made a few hours later.

Hi again, Eraserhead. So, about the whole cat situation. ____ seemed to be in shock about the whole thing, she was meowing nonstop and running all over the place. And the thing is, one of the janitors we have on staff, he um...He hadn’t been informed about the situation and kicked ____ out of the building while I went to pick up some cat food. That was about twenty minutes ago...I’ve been searching for her, and if she’s not at the office then she might be trying to go somewhere else that’s familiar. So if you see a cat by your house with no collar, and it’s meowing a lot and is like...WAY too intelligent and human-ish to be a regular cat, then it’s ____. Probably. Hopefully. Oh my god, I am so fired…

Aizawa set his phone aside and felt something soft land in his lap. ____ fidgeted with her paws and sulked about her current situation, trapped as an animal for the next day and a half. Would she have to eat cat food? How would she go to the bathroom? Would she still be able to think like a human the whole time, or would she lose her mind and really become an animal before she changed back? Aizawa couldn’t really think of what to say that could comfort her, so he simply crawled under the covers of their bed and patted the space next to him. ____ curled up next to him and smiled as he scratched a spot behind her ears and then stroked her from head to tail. She let out a low purr as she started to doze off comfortably in his arms, and she moved to rub her cheek against his before finally falling asleep. Aizawa smirked and let himself drift off to sleep as well, thankful that even though his wife was a bit different than when he’d left her this morning, she was safe and cuddling him as he slept like every night they spent together.

[flirting-with-psychology]

[yoliebloop]

Hey bitch, What’s your fucking name? Star, bitch

what color are your nails? They’re not painted

last time you got some ass? A couple weeks ago

do your parents like your style/music choices? My mom likes my music for the most part, and I think they both like my style

ever been verbally abused? No

ever been in a fight? why? Not a physical one

do you believe in God? No

describe your looks? Brown hair, white, glasses, brown eyes, a little above average height, a little overweight, big nose

in 4 words describe your day. My dad's birthday today

when did you last break down? Last night did you take mirror pictures a lot? Not a ton

what do you do before you sleep? Brush teeth

what time do you fall asleep on school nights? I’m done with school but it was like probably 1 or 2 am

one season forever - which one? Fall.

do you use hair products? Just shampoo, conditioner, and detangling spray.

what’s the worst thing about your school? The film program was disappointing

what food do you always have in your house? Eggs

last time you showered? Today

ever seen your parents make out? Maybe when I was little

who was your first kiss? A guy in band

what’s your dream height and weight? I like my height but I wish my legs were more proportional so I wouldn't have to buy short pants or hem them. I'd like to weigh like 30 pounds less

do you put your hair up a lot or down? About half and half

most of the time do you straighten or curl your hair? Neither, but I straightened it when it was short, and I curl it for special events

what do you do when your house loses power? Wait like 10 minutes

what piercing do you hate? I don't really like lip piercings were you raised in a religious house? No

do your parents get mad when your on the computer for hours? Not mad, but annoyed

what kind of iPod do you have? I had an ipod nano

have you ever been asked for a nude picture? Yes

what’s your favorite thing about your crush/bf/gf? His sense of humor

what’s the worst thing? He lied at the beginning of the relationship so it's hard to really 100% trust him

ever been so scared you pissed? No

can you watch scary movies at night and not be scared? Not really

would you rather be held or kissed? can’t have both pick one! Held

do you use a watch or a cell phone? Phone

last reason you got your cell taken away? I don't think I've ever had it taken away. When I was in high school I had a flip phone and it was never what I got grounded from

When you cry is it usually hard to breathe? A little

what song can bring you down? There's a couple about growing up that kinda get me

On rainy days what are you mostly doing? The usual, or moping

Do you listen to sad music when your upset? Yes

Has anyone laughed in your face when your crying? No

If you get the chance to kill your enemy, would you? I don’t have an enemy

if your in a hurry how do you do your hair? Down or ponytail

Style?(classy,trashy,goth) Comfy, creative, or fancy

What’s your current dream job Something creative but steady that pays well (the goddamn unicorn of jobs apparently)

what song is always playing on your iPod/stereo? Taylor Swift or showtunes

when you cry can you speak clearly? No

What would you do if your parent hit you? Idk, probably tell my other parent

What’s your most common mood? Bored

what’s your grades in school/what were your grades? As in high school, As and Bs in college

do you like poems? Sometimes

do you quote lyrics on your status often? No

what band would you love to hang out with? Taylor Swift

who has your heart right now? My boyfriend

have you ever felt so hurt you can’t move? No

do you wear your jammies all day on weekends? No

take out the 2nd and 3rd letter of your name, how would it be spelled? Sr

would your rather never hear or never see?(just pick one) Hmm, never hear I think

Have you ever caught your ex cheating? No

ever see yourself going to jail? No does your family look down on you? Not really

last song you sang? Something Taylor Swift

do you know all the words to your top 3 favorite songs? Yes

when you lie to someone can you look at them in eyes? I don't really lie

do think Jerry Springer is fake? Idk

Megan Fox or Kat Von D? Idk who Kat Von D is

has the last person you kissed slept with more then 3 girls? No

ever been tested for any STD’s? Yes

what’s on your take of music these days? I know I sound like an old fart but I don't really like a lot of the popular music lately

do you make your bed? Kinda

what food item could you live off of? Pasta

how much money did you last spend? I think like $8

do you think its weird when girls change in front of their bf/gf? No

to do like Techno, Rock, or Rap remixes of songs? Sometimes rock are interesting

can you name one song by the Beatles? Yesterday

this Christmas, what do you want but cant have? To go back to normal

tongue ever hurt from eating to much sour candy? Yes

rather get Chinese or pizza delivered? Pizza

do you like cartoon or anime? I'm not really big on either, but cartoons if I have to pick

do you think anime porn is kind of creepy? Yes

are glasses hot to you? Depends on the guy. But they are not practical for kissing

what do/did you usually eat at school lunches? PB&J

get a new camera or new phone? New phone, it will have a camera in it

do your parents have time limits on phone calls? This must be old

what about when you have to be in bed? I am an adult

does short hair girls mean there a lezbo? No

would you change your eye color? Maybe, I think green is pretty

last person that saw you naked (can’t be yourself) My boyfriend

ever kissed someone half naked? Yes

is being sweaty nasty? Yes

do you wax, shave, or pluck your eyebrows? No

would you spend 5,000 for hairless armpits and legs forever? No

do you think its gay for male swimmers to shave there legs? No

can you talk about your flaws and not be embarrassed? Depends on how socially acceptable the flaw is

[nikkzwrites]

Yesterday Once More | Dark Fix-It Fic Series | Chapter 2

A/N: This fic is one that I started with my OC because honestly, I personally didn���t like how season 3 ended. So I am rewriting all of Dark with my OC Annalise Dahlheim. I hope you all like it. Some things will be expanded more on just for more depth to Dark that season 3 kinda skipped over so…. yeah.

CW: Canon Typical Triggers: Smoking, Sex, Language, Drugs, Drinking, Death, Violence.

Word Count:  5.1k

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Nine hours had passed since Mikkel’s disappearance. A man with an older looking suitcase overlooked the police canvassing. His dirty scruffy face bent down to scoop up a dead bird.

Jonas shot up from his bed. He looked next to him to see Annalise missing. He threw off his duvet. He guessed it must have all been a dream. Tinnitus ringing in his ear caused him to walk towards his mirror. He turned to check his ear to see black liquid flowing out of it. Jonas studied it on his fingers for a moment trying to figure out what exactly it was. It almost seemed like ink or like a waste product of some sort.

“Jonas,” a haunting familiar voice called to him. The boy used his mirror and turned it to be met with the face of his father covered in the black liquid dripping down from him.

Jonas shot up. His breathing was hard and unsteady. He swallowed his breath as he checked his ear to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming again. As he looked down at his hand, he realized there was the sound of soft breathing next to him. He turned quickly to see that Annalise was there. His terror slowly subsided as her gentle energy embraced him once more. His half-lidded blue eyes studied her. They must have fallen asleep not too long ago. As he made a move to carefully leave his bed, Jonas heard a faint whimper.

Magnus stood in the woods. He didn’t know exactly what he was doing there, but he felt like he needed to be there, for Mikkel. He just wanted his little brother back. His heart wounded from despair. He looked up hearing a noise to spy Franziska walking towards him.

Franziska just looked at the boy who stood in her way for a moment. This moment was unwieldy for her. What was she supposed to say to him? What did he want her to say? Those questions rushed around in her head. Instead of trying to dwell on it, she just tried to move past him.

Magnus quickly grabbed onto the smaller girl and pushed her against a tree. “What were you doing there,” he asked angrily. 

The girl complained, “Ouch! Are you crazy?” She studied Magnus’s face. It was full of turmoil. A face that was filled to the brim with emotions he didn’t know how to let out and where to properly put them.

“What were you doing,” He rephrased his question.

Franziska pursed her lips for a second getting more annoyed at his questioning. She stared at him and answered honestly, “I heard you guys talking at school. About the caves… And Erik’s drugs… So I thought… I don’t know what I thought.” She looked down at Magnus’s lips then back into his eyes. 

Magnus started to shake before he let her go. He just stared at her trying to understand his life.

“I’m sorry about Mikkel,” she said finally understanding the words she wanted to say to him. But in the end, Magnus just turned angrily to storm away leaving Franziska there to watch him go.

Annalise wept as she slept. She kept reliving losing Mikkel in between her fond memories with him. First, she woke up in her bed with Mikkel huddled next to her from the night before. The poor young boy had gotten scared from a horror movie the three teenagers had been watching. Mikkel, not wanting to get anyone in trouble, had tried his other siblings who both turned him away before Annalise had welcomed him into bed. She could still remember his squeaked, ‘Thank you, Lise.’ After watching him sleep gently, the scenery slowly changed around them to the two of them in the woods. Mikkel curled up in the dirt and leaves shivering and crying. He was in the red puffy coat and the silly skeleton outfit that he loved so much. Annalise tried to call for him, but her ears just filled with Mikkel’s cries. He never responded to her but just kept crying out for help. Annalise started to see dark liquid start to drain and puddle around him. His cries became more desperate. 

Jonas couldn’t take seeing her crying softly. He gently leaned over her. He rubbed her shoulder. “Annalise,” he whispered her name. He watched as her face contorted into more anguish. Jonas filled with panic. He gently shook her awake and in a harsh hushed voice demanded to her, “Annalise.”

Annalise slowly awakened by a force and voice. Her face was wet. She wiped her eyes and sat up. She looked to her side to realize just what had happened and how close she was to the sweet boy who took her in. She sniffled and scoot back, “sorry. I didn’t realize.”

“It’s okay,” Jonas soothed, “I had fallen asleep too.” His lips forced a small gentle smile, “I guess we both are having a rough time.”

Annalise forced a small giggle to escape her. Jonas noticed once more that she wasn’t just muted color like everyone else. Her sunset tones filled him with comfortability even as she teased, “Did you just imply that we wouldn’t?”

Jonas actually smiled and nodded, “Yeah. I guess I did.” He laughed at himself. There was nothing else they could have done, he told himself. They sat awkwardly for a moment. He looked her over again. He didn’t know how to feel when he remembered that Hannah had given the girl some of her own pajamas to borrow while there. They were rather baggy and big on the small-statured teen.

Martha stared at the pictures on the counter as she laid on the couch with her head in Katharina’s lap. “When Dad’s brother disappeared, how old was he,” she asked.

The picture of Mads and Ulrich they had given to Jana in 1986 for Mother’s day sat in between the pictures of the Nielsen’s and another with Annalise with the family for Halloween when they all matched costumes from ‘The Wizard of Oz’ for Mikkel. Mikkel had a cool trick to actually simulate the Wizard’s, Martha dressed as Dorothy, Magnus and Ulrich being the scarecrow and tin man in their respective order, Annalise dressed as the Lion seeming to be having a lot of fun, and Katharina as the Good Witch. They all seemed to be having a lot of fun. Mikkel was right in the center of all of them with a giant grin that he had gotten his family to do a giant group. Little did they know that it was going to be his last Halloween. 

Katharina stared at the pictures and said, “Your father was 15. Mads was three years younger.”

Martha looked up at her mother, “And he was never found?”

Katharina started to play with her daughter’s hair hoping to just let the question and the distressing conversation drop.

“We talked about Erik,” Martha continued, “In the forest. Mikkel thought that was the worst. When someone isn’t found.”

Katharina comforted her daughter and herself, “Mikkel’s coming back. Definitely.”

Annalise shifted uneasily under Jonas’s gaze. She asked, “Got a problem Kahnwald?”

Jonas nodded, “Yeah. Those clothes are too big for you.”

This caused the girl to blink. He was just so honest about it. She looked down at Hannah’s sleepwear and asked, “Is it really that bad?” She looked up at him, “I can go change.”

Jonas shook his head, “I think my mom said something about washing the clothes from last night.” He swallowed hard. His mind started to piece together how he was sounding. He blushed and shot up to walk to his wardrobe. He absentmindedly rambled as he looked for some clothes, “I think I have some old clothes that may fit you though. They are from before I went to the hospital so they are a bit too small for me now.”

“You were in the hospital,” Annalise questioned. She started to look around his room. It was messy as normal teenaged boys’ rooms were but something stood out to her. A pill bottle. She studied it for a second before turning her attention back to the blond.

Jonas replied back without thinking, “Yeah. My first day officially back was yesterday.” He finally found what he was looking for and stopped. He turned horrified now fully aware of his mistake.

Annalise blinked, “I thought Bartosz said you were in France.” Her brow furrowed as she tried to put the pieces together herself. It wasn’t long before she gasped and exclaimed, “That’s why you didn’t text Martha or talk to anyone! You couldn’t!” She shook her head then asked, “But, why didn’t you tell anyone?”

Jonas slid himself down to sit onto the floor, “Why would I want to?”

Annalise sat next to him. She sighed and rest her head against his shoulder, “I get it. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”

Jonas nodded. He let his head fall back to look up at the ceiling, “Thanks.”

They sat there in silence for a little bit. Their breathing synchronized. Time stood still as the two teenagers just tried to process their life leading up to this moment. Being together alone with practically a stranger that was somehow closer than any other person in the world right at that moment.

Jonas spoke up first again, “Do you ever feel like you were just meant to meet someone?”

Annalise looked up at the ceiling with him and asked, “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Jonas motioned with his hand at nothing, “Just someone that you meet and it changes your entire life. Better, worse… whatever. Just someone who changes you.”

Annalise looked up at the boy and took a deep breath, “My dad used to say, ‘We are lead to those who help us most grow if we allow them and we help them out too.’ So I guess I know the feeling.”

Jonas sighed, “He sounds like a wise man. You must miss him.”

“I’ve missed him every day for a while,” Annalise explained, “My dad died not too long ago too. Probably what drew me to come here.”

Jonas swallowed a breath. Tears started to fall from his eyes, “You think…”He couldn’t complete his sentence. It didn’t seem as though he needed to though.

Annalise nodded, “Yeah.” She turned and reached around to give the boy a hug. She buried her face in his shoulder to hide the fact she was starting to cry as well. She started to laugh though thinking about something Jonas had said the night before. She pulled away from him with a warm smile through tears, “What? Dead dad, bad topic?”

Jonas burst into laughter. His entire body shook with his entertainment. His eye squeezed close from the force of his smile. 

Hannah must have heard the laughing from downstairs because she called “How come I haven’t heard either one of you go clean yourselves up yet? I didn’t offer Annalise to stay here for you two to be joking around.” She puffed out her chest. She honestly had taken Annalise in knowing that Ulrich would come to check up on the teenager eventually. It just gave her even more of an excuse to be alone with the man.

Jonas rolled his eyes, “I’ll go first that way I can get the water warmed up for you.” He laughed then walked towards the direction of the bathroom.

Annalise called after him, “That sounds more like you are going to take all the warm water for yourself.”

Hannah looked up the stairs seeing the two teens playfully teasing each other. She rolled her eyes and called to Annalise, “Come here. We need to make a list of what we are going to need to pack from the Nielsen’s to get you moved here for a few days.”

Annalise nodded, “Yes ma’am.” She hurried down the stairs to do the activity Hannah had asked of her.

The cool water was just what Jonas needed to calm down. He closed his eyes and allowed his mind to focus on making sure he was clean. As the shower warmed though, he felt his heart start to race once more. Images of Martha and Annalise spun in his head. He could barely concentrate for long. He quickly turned the water off and panted as he looked at himself in the mirror. He quickly dried off, brushed his teeth, changed, and walked out. He called down towards where he heard Annalise’s voice and called, “Your turn! You need help?”

Hannah blushed. She called upstairs to her son, “What would Annalise need help with? It’s a shower! Not a group project.”

Annalise stifled a laugh. Her snort had caused both Kahnwald’s to look at her. Annalise lifted her hand, rushed past Jonas on the stairs, “Sorry. I’m going to go.”

Jonas watched as Annalise closed the door and argued, “To make sure she knew how to use our shower. Some people have different ones.”

“Oh, you think the Nielsen’s have a different shower,” Hannah replied flushed.

Jonas shook his head, “What are you talking about?” He rolled his eyes. The boy used this time to go into his father’s shop. Talking with Annalise finally made him feel ready to be there again. The boy wanted to have some time to himself just surrounded by Michael. He walked in and sat right in the middle of the room.

Warm water refreshed Annalise more than she could describe. She lathered her hair and body in shampoo and soap to get the grime off of her. The feeling of being clean intoxicated her. She hummed happily as the water washed away the forest from her. As the water started to cool, her brain started to fill with images of Jonas. Her heart raced. Her hand rushed to end the shower to stop those thoughts from happening. Her chest heaved as she tried to calm herself down. She wrapped her hair up and brushed her teeth. Then she got dressed into Jonas’s old clothes and walked out.

Across town, the bearded stranger walked out of the shower. His things scattered across Regina’s eighth hotel room. He dried off his hair as he kept the memory of his loved one close in his mind. She would have been getting out the shower about now right? He looked over to the time. He had timed it right. He hummed to himself pleased with the little luxury he was able to give himself. He threw the towel for his hair onto the bed then went to look at his charts and diagrams on the wall.

Jonas laid on the floor. His legs crossed. From above he was reminiscent of an angel. As the rain started, he decided to start to explore more of his late father’s workspace. He walked around. As he studied the closet, the boy noticed one of the boards slightly off kelter. He reached up to uncover its secrets to reveal a map of the Winden Caves.

As it started to rain, Katharina found herself outside. She was just standing there her mind wandered through possibilities hoping for her baby to come home to her. The rain had forced Magnus to also return home. Katharina turned hearing the noise of someone walking behind her to see the tormented face of her eldest son. She turned back to look out into the rain.

Magnus walked into his room to lament. He finally allowed himself to let out the agony he felt. He walked to his wall and just kept punching until he could feel something on the outside just as hurt as he felt on the inside.

Martha looked out of her window. She longed for Mikkel just to be there and walk past the view of her window again. She looked down at her phone and sent Bartosz’s call straight to voicemail.

When Annalise walked out, she realized she was completely alone. Jonas completely quiet and on his own somewhere in the house and it didn’t seem like Hannah was still there. The list they made was gone as well. Annalise made a face. She looked at her phone and figured now would be the best time to Face chat with her family. The girl holed herself into the room Hannah had put her in and started the call.

Freida answered quickly and scolded her daughter in their native English language, “What is going on over there?! I got an email from Katharina that you are staying with a family friend because her son Mikkel disappeared?! Please tell me you are okay. You weren’t there were you?”

“I’m fine Mom,” Annalise calmed her mother, “I-...” She looked off into the distance hearing shuffling inside of the house. “Hold on,” Annalise put her phone down and walked out to see what the noise was. 

Jonas was trying to scramble into his room without anyone noticing but he heard the door open near him. The boy looked then let out a breath relieved. He smiled, “Hey Lise.”

Annalise smiled, “Hey. I’m on the phone with my mom. Want to meet her? It’s only fair yeah?”

His ears turned red but he nodded, “Yeah. Let me put this in my room real quick then I’ll be right there.”

“I’ll leave the door open,” Annalise slipped her head back into the room. She did just as she said then settled into her bed. She lifted her phone back up. She took a second to remember to speak English again then said, “Sorry Mom. That was Jonas.”

“Oh, the cute one yeah,” Freida laughed forgetting what had panicked her for the moment, “He’s going to come to say hi right? I’ll go get Zayde so he can be here too.”

Annalise blushed, “Mom, really. There is no need.” She shook her head trying to convince her mother not to get her grandfather, “I only wanted him to meet you since it’s only fair because I know his mom and am staying here for a few days.” But it was no help, she had already gotten close to his chair for them to share the screen. 

Jonas smiled as he walked in. He laughed and settled in next to Lise leaning his back on the bed. “Hello,” Jonas tried his best to speak English, “My name is Jonas. It’s nice to meet you.”

David looked at the blue-eyed blond boy sitting next to his granddaughter and spoke in German, “Oh, you think I can’t speak my native language?! Fuck you.”

Freida tried to calm her father down and Annalise laughed. She looked at Jonas and said, “I should have warned you that my Zayde is from Winden, huh?”

Jonas laughed and nodded, “Yeah. Rather than the first words out of his mouth being fuck you. I can see why German terrified you.”

“We can hear you,” David replied. He spoke up again, “Anyway kid, this is my daughter Freida and that’s her daughter Annalise. I’m David. Don’t do anything to her. I know people in Winden.”

“Yes Sir,” Jonas laughed. He looked towards Annalise who was just shaking her head.

Annalise spoke up in English, “Anyway, we are safe. You know where I am and who I’m with. I’ll chat with all of you tomorrow. Bye Bye,” She waved.

Jonas stuck his face in once more to wave bye as well. He chuckled. Just as he was about to say something to Annalise her phone made a small text received tone. He didn’t really want to pry but he was right there. ‘He is cute’ Her mom had texted her. He couldn’t help but chuckle a bit.

Annalise’s face started to glow red she quickly texted back, ‘Mom, if he can speak English, what makes you think he can’t read?’ She looked at Jonas and apologized, “I’m sorry about that. She and I talk like every day so Martha had ended up talking to her at some point too and-”

“It’s okay,” Jonas shook his head. He looked at the girl nervously. They sat there awkwardly for a second before Jonas spoke up, “Martha called me cute?”

Annalise pushed him gently, “Go away, Jonas. God. Is that all you think about? Martha?”

Jonas stood up forcing a laugh, “Sure. Why not?” His plan had worked, now he could go investigate the map on his own without worrying too much about Annalise. He walked out of the room and went inside his own.

Hannah pulled up at the police station. She sighed and waited for Ulrich. He had to be back at his work sometime, she reasoned with herself. The woman walked to the waiting area and crossed her leg over the other. She watched the door.

Drenched, Ulrich walked into the station. He was walking to his office when he spotted her. He turned and asked, “What are you doing here?” His hands finding themselves in his jacket pockets.

“I wanted to see you. We have-” Hannah started.

“Come on.” The man interrupted the woman by grabbing her arm and pulling her down to the archives. Once inside he asked her, “What is this? Why are you here?”

Hannah shrugged a bit and replied, “I’m so sorry.” She stood for a second before she sighed. Hannah wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him close and kissed his jaw. She held him close for a second. She then moved to press their foreheads together. “Have you found out anything,” She asked.

Ulrich had wrapped his arms around her in momentary weakness. He really needed to be held close after everything going on. His youngest son, his Mikkel, was gone with no explanation and no trace. Ulrich simply shook his head and tried to hold back his sorrow. He pulled up his face in a moment of clarity. When he did though, Hannah took that as a sign to try and kiss him. As the woman tried to continue, Ulrich whispered against her lips, “Stop it, please.” He pleaded with her, “Please.” 

Hannah pulled her face away in slight annoyance. She took a step back from him and looked up a the tall man.

“I can’t do this,” Ulrich explained, “Not now.” He reached over to move some of the hair out of Hannah’s face. He watched her as she looked around feeling guilty about what had just transpired. His heart still aching, Ulrich reasoned, “I’ll call you, okay?” He pulled away completely and walked out of the room leaving Hannah just standing there.

Annalise used this time to try and text her friend. She really didn’t know what to say other than, ‘I love you. If you need me, I’m here.’ She stared at the picture of her and Martha in her contact picture. Annalise, then, went to the full photo to go and look through the pictures she had with the Nielsen’s. Seeing all of them happy, laughing, completely unaware of the future turmoil made Annalise start to cry again. She zoomed in on Mikkel. He was such a great kid. He had a popsicle stain all around his mouth and a big old cheesy toothy grin. Annalise then allowed more of the picture in the frame to see Magnus holding his little brother up in the air about to toss him back in the water at Martha who was, despite trying to look annoyed, had big sparkles in her eyes. Annalise laughed through her tears.

Jonas’s hands traced over the map he had found in his father’s studio. He carefully started to read all of the text written on it. It seemed as though his father was exploring and trying to make his way through the caves. Something seemed very off to him when he was studying it. His fingers went to the anomaly that read, ‘Where is the Crossing?’

Bartosz was getting frustrated. Martha wasn’t contacting him back. He looked around. The boy hated this feeling. He was alone. Completely alone. He looked at his phone deciding that desperate times meant to do desperate measures. He pressed Annalise’s name and tried to call her.

Annalise stared at the picture only to have a surprising thing happen. Why was Bartosz Tiedemann calling her, she questioned. She declined the call and texted him, ‘What do you want?’

Bartosz stared at his phone. Another straight to voicemail. He growled. He was just about to throw his phone when he saw her text. He walked back to his sofa and texted her, ‘Can you tell Martha to call me back?’

Annalise rolled her eyes. Of course, she thought. She texted the boy back, ‘She hasn’t talked to me either. I’m not there anyway. I’m at Jonas’s.’

Bartosz scrunched his nose. Why was she there, he thought to himself. He shook his head and decided to just investigate and get the answer himself, ‘Why?’

Annalise’s brow furrowed. Did he just, the girl questioned. She rolled her eyes again, ‘Why do you care?’

‘I am worried about my girlfriend, thank you,’ Bartosz replied.

Annalise texted back, ‘I think she needs her family right now. Not either of us. I really don’t think where I am makes a difference right now. Chill out. One of the things she asked us to do is be cordial towards each other so let’s just try to do that and wait for her to talk to us. She will come around eventually.’

Bartosz growled. That girl really knew how to push his buttons. He looked out the window. She’s right though, a tiny voice within him spoke. He shook his head and texted back, ‘Fine. If she texts you first, can you let me know how she’s doing? I’ll do the same for you.’

‘Deal.’ 

Hannah walked into the house to find both teenagers deathly quiet. She called up that she was home and started to make some food for herself. Footsteps started down the stairs. She turned to see her son standing there. He walked over to the counter and sat on it. Hannah pulled herself up and sat next to him to give him some company after lighting a few candles since the power wasn’t working again.

Jonas started first, “Do you think they’ll find him?”

“I hope so,” Hannah answered her son honestly. She stared at the refrigerator with her hands in her lap.

Jonas looked towards his mother for guidance. He sat in silence for a minute before asking, “Do you think he had a secret?” He thought back to the maps that he found in his father’s studio.

“Mikkel,” Hannah asked confused. She looked towards her son for his input. She wondered if he knew more than he let on.

“No, Dad,” Jonas replied quelling all of his mother’s questions instantly but now creating new ones. Jonas thought of how to ask his question then asked, “Do you think he was keeping something from us?”

“Why do you say that,” Hannah asked Jonas. She was growing more concerned for him. Maybe she had done too much or had him come back home a bit too early, she worried internally. 

Jonas sat trying to process everything going on. He let Hannah’s question drop to the floor then questioned, “Do you miss him?”

Hannah lightly sighed, “I think I miss the notion of him.” She didn’t want to lie to her son and tell him she missed someone she really didn’t know if she did. She shook her head and told Jonas, “I don’t know who he really was. Maybe we never know that, what a person is really like.”

Jonas looked at his mother, “Did you love him?” Right when he asked, the lights in the house illuminated once more. 

Hannah looked around noticing the lights then let out a small scoff at how ironic everything at this moment was. 

It wasn’t too long though before the lights of Winden started to flicker leaving most of the town confused. Birds started to fall from the sky once more. Dead instantly.

The Stranger pinned up the news article about Mikkel on his board. The headline read, ‘Where is Mikkel?’ He stared at it, then the boy in the photo. He reached over to scribble his own inscription. He crossed out the ‘Where’ and replaced it with ‘When.’ He stood back to admire the new headline reading, ‘When is Mikkel?’

Mikkel climbed his way through the caves he was trapped in. He limped his way out of the cave. The boy looked around. Something seemed different about it and it wasn’t just because it was the morning. Mikkel just couldn’t place his finger on it. He decided instead to try and run home. He knew everyone would be worried about him. When he finally arrived, he started to notice other strange things. Vehicles parked that he had never seen before. On his way into the house, he stopped to look at an older fashioned motorcycle. He shook his head. He figured it must have just been people who were there helping his family look for him. Mikkel just tried to continue his way inside. When he walked up and tried his keys, it didn’t work. His eyes furrowed. It wasn’t long before a teenaged boy opened the door. Mikkel looked up at him and asked, “Who are you?”

The teenager looked down at the strange boy with scrapes all over his face and chuckled a bit, “Why? Who are you?”

“Mikkel,” the younger boy answered just as confused as the older boy in all of this, “I live here.”

“Ulrich,” the teen laughed, “And I live here.” He watched as Mikkel swallowed hard, “You going to grow roots? You’re at the wrong house, fool.”

A girl’s voice called him outside. She stood in the driveway, “Hey Ulrich. Come on, we need to go.”

“Yes, Katharina, I’m coming,” Ulrich responded.

Mikkel and Katharina stared at each other. Both of them trying to understand why it felt like they knew each other.

Ulrich interrupted their staring content with, “Are you dense? You don’t live here.” He pushed past Mikkel and grabbed his bike.

Katharina looked at Ulrich and asked, “Who is that?”

Ulrich looked back and laughed. He turned to Katharina to tease, “The Grim Reaper. Can’t you tell?” Katharina gently popped Ulrich in the head causing him to complain, “Ouch! Katharina.”

Mikkel watched as the two drove off. Katharina still looking back at Mikkel every so often. The boy then looked at the newspaper on the doorstep. The headline read, ‘Chernobyl - Half a Year Later.’ Mikkel started to panic as he looked at the date of the paper that read, ‘5. November. 1986.’ His mind focused completely on the year, ‘1986.’

[skernerd]

Using

when i was 19

i blacked out for seven months

suddenly i was 2 weeks out of school and

realized i didn’t remember anything from before i got home

spring turned into summer

and i felt like i missed winter

because i did

i don’t remember being cold once

i hardly remember fall

i only remembers the parties

winter is gone

makes sense

i overdosed back then

i remember the way the hallway looked

when i was high

i don’t remember that night

except for the throwing up blood

and that i only remember because

i told the story to myself

over and over

i only really remember bits and pieces

i remember parts of the next day

sleeping all day and

my friends bringing me dinner

tried to sleep off 50 pills

it was an accident if you can

believe it

i’m not surprised i survived

i was taking near that amount most days

just never all at once

it’s awful

awful to not remember

awful to know that’s the reason why

awful to know i don’t even remember

getting clean

the first month

i came to my senses at 6 weeks clean

tell me how that isnt fucked up

tell me how i maintained

passing all of my classes

with large margins of error

when i was blacked out for seven months

tell me how i learned half an entire fucking

language

and how i don’t remember learning it

you get what you pay for

with these university classes

i could go to that country

and laugh with the locals

but i hardly remember

sitting in that classroom at all

i remember the nausea

when i took too much

i remember always thinking

i never had enough

i remember those 3 am

walks to the nearest open place

when every time i closed my eyes at

night i felt his beard against my face

i remember sitting on the curb

of the 24 hour wawa

opening up the pill packets

and dry swallowing them

pushing little pills in between

my lips

not even thinking someone would ask

that night i saw a mentor

drunk with his friend

he came in while i was checking out

with 7 packages of my drug of choice

being rung up by the hesitant cashier

he asked me how i was

i replied “shitty.”

after he left he passed me

getting high on the curb

and i watched him enter his building.

one of the nights i remember best.

i remember taking a walk and getting

on a bus

getting off when the driver asked me

how old i was

lost in the middle of the night

on a little old timey street

i remember being afraid

when i overdosed i remember thinking

“fuck.”

when i saw the toilet

stained red

i remember where i was kneeling

i remember losing time

suddenly four hours had passed

the sun was going to come up any time now

i spent four hours delirious searching my room quietly while my

unsuspecting roommate slept

i remember the moment where

two of my friends

stood beside my bed and

wrote an email calling me out of work

i told them it was because my mental

health was so bad

but it was because i was still kinda

high from the night before

felt like shit

wanted to puke

i remember sitting up at one point and staring at the wall and thinking

“fuck, i wanna get high.”

it was never enough.

[shuoshuzhe-aa]

warning: violence, alcohol, drugs, prostitution

            they gave him 2 weeks . . . he didn’t need very long  .  he’s already used this profile previously on another case  .  it was how he was going to worm his way into one of seoul’s most wanted drug rings  .  his chinese background helped a little before  ,  he only hoped it would help him now  .

“  what’s your name  ??  ” “  chen ruoyin  .  ” “  where are you from ??  ” “  shanghai  .  ” “  what brought you to korea  ??  ” “  i’m ducking authorities in china  .  ” “  really  ??  what’d you do  ??  ” “  i was a drug dealer  .  but they brought down the gang  .  guess you can all me lucky  ,  or something  .  ” “  what have you dealt before  ??  ” “  weed  ,  cocaine  ,  ecstasy  ,  ketamine  ,  morphine . . . name it  ,  i’ve probably done dealt it  .  ”

              repeat . . . his colleagues drilled him every day for TWO weeks until he could naturally respond without a need to hesitate  (  not that he needed the time. he’s already had it down pat  )  .  that’s what his department liked about him  ,  he didn’t take long to get into role and he does it convincingly well  .

            it was a long term case . . . they needed enough evidence to pin it on the drug lord  (  who always seemed to slip through the cracks and they needed enough to nail him for it  )  .  riley worked hard  ,  made his way up the ladder to get to the head of the entire operation  ,  it took him a year and a half . . . then another year and a half of sucking up to the big boss while sneaking out information before they brought the man in  (  jailed for life on multiple charges )  .             riley chen ruoyin was also charged with drug possession and distribution  — as well as prostitution  .  phony charges  ,  but he can’t help but to feel the weight of it on his shoulder and heart  ,  he knew his allies were being thorough so he could be safe  .  he supposedly went to jail for a few years before a tragic car accident claimed chen ruoyin  (  the drug lord’s favorite  )  and he died at the scene  .             riley isn’t proud of what he had to do to advance so quickly  . sometimes  ,  he feels like his body itches just at the thought of it  .  he’s never mentioned it . . . he avoided it .  he hadn’t divulged what he did to get past all the potential candidates to be a part of the drug lord’s tight circle of allies  .

“  so what’d you do  ??  how’d you do it  ??  ” “  i flaunted what my mother gave me – charmed them with a smile and sent them on their way with money and drugs  .  ” “  no  ,  seriously  .  ” “  seriously  .  ”

            flaunted what his mother gave him . . . he did exactly that  .  he was pretty  (  he acknowledged that  )  and attractive and it seemed to catch the target’s eyes so what’d he do  ??

“  $50 per hour  ,  how about it  ,  big guy  ??  ” “  so cheap  ??  ” “  i heard you were a big shot around here  ,  so i figured i’d pay my respects and give a discount  ,  you know  ,  kinda like a thank you for letting me do business around here  .  ” “  oh  ??  but i haven’t heard of a new hooker around here  .  ” “  nah  ,  it’s a side job  .  drugs is what i usually deal but a man’s got two needs  :  sex and money  .  here  , i get both  .  ” “  you’re a smart kid  .  i’ll take you up on that offer  .  ”

            dirty . . . disgusting  . for 3 years  ,  he heard the name ruoyin fall from the man’s lips as he faked enjoying the deed  .             ruoyin . . . ruoyin . . . ruoyin . . . the name echoed in his mind  ,  how long has he used the name  ??  5 years now  ??   4  ??  he couldn’t remember but since the operation ended  , his coworkers began realizing something was odd about his behavior  .             riley would come into the office, tired . . . he’d brush it off as the fact that he got caught up watching a movie and ended up sleeping to late  .  in reality  ,  he had been having nightmares about his last operation  ,  it was so deeply ingrained into him . . . 

            the line between riley  (  the undercover agent  )  and ruoyin  (  the prostitute drug dealer  )  blurred when he slept  . he’d wake in cold sweat in bed and forget who he is  ,  he’d look beside him as if he’s searching for someone  .  he’d rub at his ear as if someone had just whispered in his ear . . . he’d panic because he couldn’t remember who he was, where he was . . .

“  you won’t betray me right  ??  ” “  no  ,  never  .  ” “  because you know what i do to people who betray me  .  ” “   i do  .  ”  (  it took all his will not to flinch at the threat  , not to recall the torture the people go through  .  ) “  i’d hate to hurt someone as pretty as you  .  so beautiful . . . i really ought to thank your parents  .  ” “  not necessary  .  they don’t have a son anymore  .  ”   (  he didn’t feel like a filial son with what he was doing  )  –  he could recall feeling the man’s hand wrap around his neck  ,  seemingly a loving gesture before a slight squeeze  . “  perhaps . . . just for you  ,  i’ll come up with another way . . . to preserve that pretty head of yours  .  i really love your eyes  .  ” “ . . . . . .  ”  (  fear . . . he was scared but he can’t show it  .  his breath was caught in his throat and all he managed was a grin  )  , “  my eyes  ,  only  ??  i’m hurt . . .  ”

            riley gained a habit of rubbing at his neck whenever the drug lord’s name was mentioned or whenever he was anxious or nervous or scared . . . he’d place a hand at his neck and rub at it as if it was sore ,  as if there was a hand holding it  .

             his colleagues began realizing that riley wouldn’t respond to his own name sometimes  , no matter how loudly they yelled it or how many times they said it . . . they realized he had this blanked out stare from time to time or the fear that floods his eyes when the drug lord was mentioned  .              it was obvious he was unsettled . . . something said to him during the operation had snagged his mind that he could never forget  .  it was conditioned into him  .  they knew he was breaking  ,  a undercover agent as great as riley also had limits . . . and it seemed the man reached his  ,  it was blatantly obvious when riley responded to being called ruoyin and he froze  .              he needed out . . . and his friends gave him an out. they wanted him to stay but they knew riley’s psyche was breaking.

“  be honest  .  tell us what’s going on  .  we won’t tell anyone  .  ” “  . . . i don’t know what you’re talking about  .  ” “  don’t be like this  ,  we can see it  .  you’re tired every day  ,  you have this glassy look in your eyes  .  ” “  . . . i’m fine  .  ” “  you’re not  .  ” “  stop prying  .  i’m fine  !!  ” “  why don’t you trust us  ??  ” “  i do  !!  it’s just . . . it’s nothing  , okay  ??  small nightmares  . i’ll get over it  .  ” “  it’s not small if it’s changing you  .  what’s going on  ??  ” “  . . .  ”  (  let them help – his mind urged  ,  his tired and broken mind . . . he wanted to rest  ) “  please . . . riley . . .  ” “  i’ve been having nightmares . . . where i wake up not knowing who i am  ,  where i am . . . it’s terrifying because i think i’m still there  .  i think he’s there and he’s ready to kill me . . . for betraying him  .  ”

            he admitted he didn’t want to sleep  ,  to spare himself from all that fear . . . to save himself from losing a sense of who he actually was  .  he admitted to having a mantra to remind himself of who he was  . they were right, riley was fearful . . . but no one could blame him  ,  it was one of the largest operations they pulled off  ,  someone was bound to come out scarred and that turned out to be riley . . .              they had to do something to alleviate that fear . . . they did  ,  they recommended him to another taskforce that could possibly use his skillset  .  a forming task force  ,  it was a spot where he could still do the amazing things he can but without fear  .  it was an out for riley  ,  away from the drugs and trafficking  ,  away from ever hearing the drug lord’s name again  .  it wasn’t much but it was a start  .

when he joined the new force  (  with much reluctance  ,  he was leaving friends and a position he used to enjoy  )  ,  that was when he got the tattoo behind his ear  .  large but not imposing . . . his initials  ,  behind his right ear and he put mirrors in his house  .  he’d see his name whenever he looked in the mirror  ;  when he wakes up in the middle of the night in cold sweat  ,   not know who he was  ,   he’d see it in the mirror, his name . . . 

[xserpentlife]

Open Your Eyes (Pt.3)

Requested: Anon Hello! Can I request a fangsxreader where she’s jughead sister and dating Fangs and instead of Fangs the reader is the one who gets shot and fangs is like super worried and thinking that reader could die? I love loveloveeee your blog so much thanks.

A/N: Final part. I am so in love with what this story turned out to be. It made me incredibly happy how well everything flowed. Thankyou to @wayward-river for being my main beta on this and helped me figure everything out.

Warnings: Blood, mentions of death. Gunshot, guns

Word Count: Little more than 2200

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

“Is she okay!”

“Sir are you family”

“We are all family” FP stood in front of the doctor then.

“Well good news, no great news. They are both going to be just fine the bullet missed many…”

“Wait… huh?” Did I hear what he said correctly? Did he say both? There is no way… well I mean there is, however… she would've told me. “Uhm doc you said both…?”

“Yes, both Miss Jones and the baby are doing great. Vitals are great and they are both very healthy”

“Oh my god”

“Are you alright sir” My face fell, I was gonna be a dad. How did I not know I was gonna be a dad.

“You knocked up my daughter!”

“Sir I need you to stop yelling or you will be escorted out of the hospital”

“Let’s take a walk dad”

“I’m gonna be a dad…”

“Oh your the father congratulations”

“Thank you… uhm are you sure everything is alright with the baby I don’t think Y/N knows yet”

“Well we checked on both her and the child as far as it looks like everything is great, I can give you a name of a few doctors she can choose from for further check ups if you would like”

“That would be great thank you”

“Well sir again congratulations and if you would like to go visit her she is in room 124. She should be awake by now I will be in soon to let you guys know everything. I would like her to stay the night for observation though” The doc left but I stood still.

“Fogarty you good”

“No how am I gonna do this Pea?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m gonna be a dad, Pea. I… I don’t even have a dad how the fuck am I gonna do this. How am I gonna fucking raise a child? I can’t raise a child!”

“Look at me. Your having a baby with Y/N the girl who you say is the life of your life. Fuck not having a dad in your own life. Your gonna be a great dad, you know why Fogarty? Your gonna be a great dad cause your gonna be better than your own and your already a step ahead cause you haven't left yet”

“What if…”

“No stop with the fuckin what if’s it ain't gonna be rainbows and unicorns… well maybe if you have a girl but you get my point. It may not be easy but you guys are gonna be fine. You have each other, fuck you have an entire family standing in this room right now that are gonna be there for both of you. I’m here for you and I’m here for her okay, you’re not alone in this”

“Thank you Pea”

“Oh shut up you know you don’t need to thank me. Now go get your girls Fogarty”

“Girls we don’t…”

“Oh that’s my guess you gonna have a mini Y/N running around”

“Save me now”

“Go you idiot” It was time to see my girl, and meet my baby for the first time. Well, not meet but see. No not see touch, I don’t...  first time to be in the presence of my baby. I had to tell her because she didn’t even know yet.

*Knocks* Y/N POV

“Come in”

“Hi baby, how you feeling”

“I’m okay now they gave me some more medicine for the pain”

“I thought I lost you…”

“Fangs!” You couldn’t hold the tears in.

“Hey, hey I’m right here no need to cry baby it’s okay, your okay now” You watched as he brought your hands to his lips and felt tears slipping out of his eyes.

“Well if I’m not allowed to cry you’re not allowed either”

“Hey I deserve to cry, my worst nightmare came true when I thought I was gonna lose you. Fuck I thought you were gone. Why would you do that!”

“What like I wanted to get shot”

“No but why did you push me out of the way, I should be in here not you not…”

“I’m sorry okay I barely had time to think after I saw the gun, but you know I don’t regret it for one second. The doc said that if I had been over even a tiny bit more it would have hit a major artery. So you know maybe me pushing you out of the way was the better thing because I couldn’t handle you dying Fangs. I need you now more than ever. I'm sorry I put our baby in danger though I didn’t know. I’m already risking her life how am I gonna fucking do this” You put your baby in danger. Yeah, you may not have had any idea that you were pregnant, but you could’ve killed her with that gunshot. You felt like you were gonna be a terrible mother. You had nothing to go off of. Your mother left you years ago when you and Jug were around 3 years old.

“Hey you are going to be a great mother Y/N”

“But I have nothing to go off of Fangs, fuck I never had a mom how will I…”

“I said the same things earlier”

“Hey! I love your mother”

“No, no about my dad baby”

“Fangs… your way better than him”

“I know that now. Pea kinda stopped me from freaking out but he said something important. He said You have each other, fuck you have an entire family standing in this room right now that are gonna be there for both of you. And he’s right we have an entire family backing us. Hell even if we didn’t there is no one I’d rather be having a baby with”

“Fangs we’re so young though how are we gonna do this!”

“I don’t know but we will figure it out”

“Fangs I get if you wanna leave this shouldn’t be your problem I should've been more careful”

“I’m not going anywhere. Plus it kinda is my fault… ya know. We made a baby together so that is kinda like 50% my fault”

“You're a dork”

“Oh I know, A dork that fucking loves you and this child till the end of time. I am so happy to be having a baby with you Y/N. I mean I am scared shitless but I am so fucking happy” He leaned in slowly placing his hand on your stomach as he brought his lips to your own.

“Fangs can you come lay with me… miss you”

“I’m right here baby. I don’t wanna hurt you”

“Please” You scooted over slightly and he took his boots off and laid his jacket over the chair before climbing into the bed. “Thank you”

“I’m just here to please my queen”

“Shut up”

“I love you”

“I love you too” You laid your head on his chest.

“I’ll be right here when you wake up, not gonna move okay”

“Okay” You slowly drifted to sleep. With him everything was calm. You could always sleep in his arms no matter the situation. He was warm, comfortable. He was home.

*knock*

You slept for about a half-hour cuddled into the chest of Fangs. You slowly drifting into consciousness recognizing the sounds of your father and brother talking to Fangs, but you wanted to hear what they had to say so you pretended to be asleep.

“How is my baby?”

“She’s doing okay, she was in a little pain but they gave her more medicine for it. I think that’s why she fell asleep”

“It’s weird not having my sister up and yelling”

“She only yells cause she cares”

“I know”

“Look FP, Jug I am so sorry”

“No boy, stop. I’m sorry I never should have blamed you for her getting shot. It was her choice, hell I would’ve done it if it was her in your position too. Hell, we all would’ve done it so I get it. I understand her choice. I mean I’d rather her not have done it but still, I’m not upset with you, I’m not upset with her”

“Fangs, I’m sorry for turning in that tape to the sheriff. I just, I thought you had cheated and I was so mad. She’s just my sis you know and I got a step ahead of myself”

“It’s fine. You just wanted to protect her, I get it. I feel the same way. I would do anything to protect her. Hell I would’ve probably done the same thing”

“You really love her huh?”

“She’s my everything Jug. With her, nothing can go wrong. We could be sitting there doing nothing just being in her company makes me undeniably happy and now, now I have this little bean growing inside of her that’s half mine and somehow I love her even more if that is even possible”

“Fogarty… look boy I’m sorry I got over my head earlier when the doc told us. I was so shocked. Their mom and I were so young when we had them I didn’t want that life for her, but ya know you're a better man than I was and I know you're going to be there. I just wanna say sorry for getting pissed and sorry for yell…” He yelled at your man. The one thing you always tell him not to do since the first time he did it.

“I’m sorry dad you what!”

“Oh hi, baby glad your awake uhm…”

“Dad I swear to god if I could get up out of this bed quick enough I…”

“I know baby I already apologized, I’m sorry. We were all kinda shocked with the whole you getting shot and then the whole baby thing it was just a lot. I am glad you're okay I don’t know what I would’ve done” See the thing with your father was it was not often that he cried. But you saw the tears in his eyes.

“Dad… hey come here give me a hug, I’m okay”

“I know I just”

“No, we are not thinking about that. I am fine and that is all that matters. Your grandchild and I are fine we don’t need to think about the what if’s”

“Okay, hey ima head home do you need anything?”

“No, I’m okay dad thankyou”

“Bye sis”

“Bye Juggy” You watched as they closed the door. You instantly snuggled back into Fang’s chest.

“Wanna go home Fangs”

“Doc said you gotta stay till tomorrow morning baby, he wants to make sure everything is good with you two”

“Well, then you should go home and get some sleep babe, just pick me up tomorrow” He started laughing and you didn’t understand why. “Uhm…”

“Your funny Jones”

“What are you talking about?”

“Go home… are you insane? Oh, sweet girl, you ain’t getting out of my sight. I told you I would be here when you wake up. I’m not leaving”

“What if they kick you out”

“I’ll hide in the closet”

“You are insane”

“I know… now get some sleep baby and tomorrow we can go home okay, promise”

“I love you Fogarty” with a kiss to the top of your head you slowly drifted to sleep. You woke up the next morning to kissed on your forehead and a hand rubbing circle along your stomach.

“Hi baby”

“Hi sweet girl”

“I love seeing you open your eyes thought I would never…”

“Stop”

“I’m sorry”

“I know it was hard Fangs, I get what I did was hard for everyone, just wanna forget”

“Okay baby, hey the doc came in said you can go if your feeling alright. I had Pea grab us clothes so if you wanna get dressed we can head out”

“I’m fine not too much pain, I just wanna go home”

“Okay, can you let go so I can get up?”

“But you're so warm”

“Okay I know but… we can be warm in our own bed if you let me take you home”

“Okay”

“He stood up grabbing the duffel and placing it on the bed. You stood up Fangs helping you as you gabbed the clothes from him. You took your pants of but leaning down hurt a bit.

“Fangs…” “You okay?”

“This is embarrassing”

“What is?”

“Need help getting dressed, it hurts a bit. But nevermind I can do it”

“No, I’m right here, I wanna help. Baby that isn’t embarrassing” He began helping you step into the clothes. “Imagine in a few months you’ll be in the same boat won’t even be able to tie your own shoes”

“Oh no…” You looked down in embarrassment.

“Hey, hey but don’t worry I'll  be right here just like I am now”

“I know babe”

“Alright, you good to go?”

“Mhm,” He grabbed your arm helping you walk out of the room.

“Say goodbye to the hospital baby because we are not ever stepping foot back in here for you unless it’s for that little bean growing in your stomach got it” You were signing the paperwork to check out when Fangs turned to the nurse “You know the next time we are here she’s gonna be having our baby” You laughed at his antics. He could always make you laugh no matter what. He was so happy, you saw the light in his eyes when he talked about the little bean you were carrying. His little bean.

Taglist: @chipster-21

[crispyapplepies]

Copy pasta improvised terra-slept-with-joshua-and-ven-is-upset-about-it fic i wrote in a discord chat for any terravens willing to overlook the present tense sketch writing, i hope you enjoy the angsty comedy drama --

so by chance, vens assigned gym partner for the day is joshua~ sora is stuck with roxas in the bg which is also amusing if you wanna know the background noise to this xD ven is an utter sweetie and has no personal problem with joshua so hes happy to pick up his slack on their activities today since he understands some people just dont care for athletics, especially when they have pretty looks to preserve for rehearsal tonight^^ at the end of class joshua offers his coy appreciation to ven who was such a cute gentleman today in getting him through that~ and then he makes some remark about how he never wouldve guessed ven even was that physically inclined given what he thought terras taste in men was~ ven lowers an eyebrow and asks "huh? what does that mean? =o=" and joshua chuckles "oh it was a long time ago, nothing to wonder about now~ i will say this though, you my friend? are one very very lucky bottom ;) keep a close eye on him." and then he saunters off to his next class. ven squints =.= hes a lil grumpy now x)

come lunch time, terra and aqua have already sat down at their usual table, seniors come in first, and theyre settled in with aqua going over some extra terms with terra for their history exam. sophomores finally file in and ven marches over with the tray of food he didnt even look at when he was at the counter. terra turns with a smile to see him and plants his usual kiss hello on his cheek as ven sits down with a slight fwomp, not responding to it. terra asks "everything okay? :o" and aqua looks over to check if hes feeling alright, not spotting any signs of sickness. ven responds almost gritting his teeth "i've been better. =_ =" terra tells aqua he'll help her study in a minute, cuz obviously upset boyfriend takes priority<3 he sinks his fingers into vens hair and asks him if he wants to talk about it. and ven takes a deep breath, trying to resume his usual Good Boi Angel attitude, gently swats terras hand away and says "Maybe later, you and aqua can go ahead and study! 8) I'll even help you if you like~" terra recognizes that this is certainly not over but hes not gonna force ven to talk or anything so he kinda nervously says okay.. and then tells aqua "Wanna quiz me?" and aqua says sure, and starts reading off the list of vocab words only for ven to suddenly smack the table and turn sharply to terra and ask "WHEN WERE YOU GONNA TELL ME YOU SLEPT WITH JOSHUA????" and terra just- O//__//O oops.. and aqua looks at terra all disappointed and grossed out and groans "Oh, terra, you didn't... >~<" and terra is so embarrassed and tries to explain to ven's scowl "i-it was a long time ago! really it meant nothing! :'D... a-and besides it was even before I met you! so.. thats- alright?" and he glances over at aqua hoping for some kind of validation but she just goes "ughh..." in the most smh big sister voice xDDD

ven exhales, trying to cool off and be rational, but his usual sweet happy face just cant help being all =_ = at terra, and he says "I guess its- fine, but- gosh, really? joshua? you didnt have feelings for him, did you? er was this just a fling? how long ago was this?" and terra stumbles to answer saying "i-it was- um... back when i first came out! people were telling me i couldnt say i was bi if i'd never had sex with a guy too, so i- had to prove it! thats all, really, it was nothing meaningful to me, honest<3 :'3 I'm not like that." as he cups vens cheeks playfully, but where theres usually a smile between puffed out cheeks theres still just a >:T ven folds his arms and tries again to collect himself and says "i guess i get it.. i guess xT thats really all it was? no more secrets?" and terra swears with his hand up and his eyes closed "I swear thats all it was v_v." aqua shakes her head and tells terra "Youre gonna owe ven preeetty big after this blows over :/" but before ven can even respond terra has already jumped in to tell her "I'll do anything to make ven happy! theres absolutely nothing to worry about~ :')" and ven is still kinda pissed but he finally says "okay. i'll let it go. here aqua, i can read off the list and quiz both of you" and aqua slides ven the paper to read off while she glares at terra who glares back at her as if to say 'drop it =.='

so thats the end of it for the day, and the next day too, but then the next day is gym again, and whatever sora and roxas are struggling with in the bg is still going on xD and ven and joshua are partners again. ven is still not comfortable with the idea of his terra sleeping with joshua, the twink incubus of the school fdkjgh but hes a nice boy so hes going to continue being nice and get joshua through this "drag of an hour, and not even the fun kind" pff joshua can kinda tell ven is pretty tense today though, unusual for him since ven is always the nicest kid in the whole school next to maybe sora. so finally near the end he asks if something's on his mind and ven realizes ack, what am i doing? there is no reason for me to be such a jerk. so he tells joshua "im really sorry, I mean it, I have no business acting like this;; i just- when i found out you slept with terra i was kinda.. uncomfortable about it to say the least, but i have no reason to be, youre perfectly nice :) besides, it was before he even met me so it doubly doesnt matter~^^" but thats where joshua raises an eyebrow. "oh? i think youre a little mixed up there cutie pie~ terra and i had sex together last year. some time after you transferred. I was amazed at the offer, really, i honestly thought that once he met you, none of us other cuties had a chance. but it looks like he landed you in the end, so it is of no matter. but i do certainly hope that you and he are happy, terra is quite the catch and we'll all be quite jealous of you til the end~ catch you around ;)" and thats the end of that conversation. ven. is. livid. 8)

so ven actually skipped lunch with his friends 8) terra looks around curiously, he still isnt showing up and hes not texting him back either. aqua asks him "doesnt ven have gym today?" and terra answers like its a dumb question pff "yeah? its thursday, everybody has gym today. its gym day." and she shakes her head at him and says "I think you should give him some space. im pretty sure i know where he is. :/" terra looks uneasy tho. "do you think hes okay?" and aqua says "oh... im sure he will be." terra grips his arms and tries not to think about it 8)

senior gym class is last period and they start filing in as the juniors file out. terra fist bumps riku on his way in xD terra is practically exempt from whatever is on the activities list cuz hes.. terra and gym class is honestly childs play pff he finishes everything in 2 seconds anyway. so usually the coach just lets him bench press for a while. highschools are bullshit xD aqua has that privilege too but she considers it a warm up before her practice later and does them anyway. terra takes his time prepping the bench, saving himself the trouble of dealing with the crowd in the locker room, and once they all run out he yoinks his gym bag up to his shoulder just to be extra pff and marches on in there to change. weird that everyone is snickering at him on their way out though... he walks inside, humming mindlessly to himself cuz gym class is his chance to relax after school before his practice. and then he half screams in surprise as his gym bag falls to the floor. ven is sitting right there in front of the lockers with the angriest look on his face terra didnt even know he /could/ make jhdfgl ven "sings" out "hello, terra. >8(" and terra just- run kdjfhglhdfsg

terra runs back to the bench as if he can just- run away from reality kdjsfhgljkdfs xDDD and start bench pressing cuz he doesnt know what else to do sdklfjhglsdj im having too much fun with this i love dumb ass jocks and soft cuties xDDD ven launches himself on top of terra pushing down on the weights terra was about to pump up and yells "YOU SLEPT WITH JOSHUA WHILE YOU WERE COURTING ME?!?!?!?!!!!"

(everyone in the gym is cackling quietly to themselves at the display sdfkjgh this AMAZING xD) terra looks up at ven in fear and stutters "I-I didnt think i had a chance with you! you didnt seem interested D:!" ven yells "OF COURSE I WAS INTERESTED YOURE JUST SHIT AT FLIRTING!!!!!!!" terra tries to calm him down "youre gonna break the bench press, ven! D:" the coach comes over at all the yelling and yells at them "HEY, break it up--" only to be shut right up when ven glares at him and growls and terra looks at him utterly terrified dfkjhg and motions for him to leave them alone. the coach is both very scared of ven xD and also doesnt wanna lose his quarterback so he smiles and holds his hands up in surrender and says "hey, you know what? why dont you two work it out amongst yourselves?^^;;; maybe somewhere that isnt my expensive bench press though?" ven yells "FINE." and grabs terra by the wrist and drags him back to the locker rooms using a scary strength terra didnt know he had dkfjglh O_O;; aqua pauses her stretches and shakes her head and mumbles "it was nice knowing you, terra. :/" and then resumes her work out xD

well ven flings terra into the locker room and shuts the door with a slam and chews him out. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HUMILIATING THIS FEELS?!!! YOU SLEPT WITH THAT LITTLE HORNDOG AFTER I CAME HERE AND THEN YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT IT SO I HAD TO FIND OUT FROM THE HORNDOG HIMSELF?!!! GIMME YOUR BEST EXPLANATION FOR THAT, TERRA, JUST TRY ME!!!! >8UUUUUU" terra reaches out his trembling hands bravely to try and calm ven down, before he pulls his hair out and he cries out "I'm SORRY, i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry, okay, I didn't do it to hurt you!!!! It was just a small thing-" "AHAHAH IS THAT WHAT IT IS THEN??? WELL IF IT WAS SUCH A SMALL "tHinG" THEN WHY WOULD YOU LIE TO ME ABOUT IT, WHAT OTHER SECRETS HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING?!!! DID YOU SLEEP WITH RIKU TOO? ANYMORE CHEERLEADERS I DONT KNOW ABOUT??? OR MAYBE JOSHUA AGAIN AT SOME POINT????!!! >8'DDDD"   ven is about to lose his mind sdjfhg terra is starting to feel upset too ;~; "No, I don't have anymore secrets, after we started dating I havent even so much as THOUGHT of anyone else! I mean that! :'U" he pleas, finally managing to place loving hands on vens shoulders as he prays for forgiveness dkfjhg ven finally just cries it out letting himself sob into his palms and terra steps in closer, hating to see ven cry, and this is much worse knowing hes the cause of it ;-;

ven glances up again, terras scent hitting him and that warm chest right in front of him that he loves and he just buries his face in it not knowing what else to do dkfgh terra holds him, stroking his back, mulling over in his head how many ways he could apologize for this but then ven pushes himself away again, hes still so upset >~< and he sniffles "why. did you lie to me about it." terras face goes red and he fishes for his words "because i- i care what you think ven." ven scoffs, but his frown hardens and he wipes his eyes "you care what i think, and so you LIED to me? what am i supposed to think?" terra replies quickly "i dont know :'u i guess i just didnt want you to think..." ven holds himself and turns away. terra supposes he has to just- be honest then, its worth a try if  it keeps him from losing the love of his life. "Look, I- I lied because the way you look at me matters to much. I care what you think of me more than anyone else, ven." ven sniffles, his back still turned to terra "oh yeah?" and terra glides over to turn him around and look at him, taking vens hands in his. "yes! ven youre the nicest, kindest, most pure hearted person i've ever met. i cant even imagine there being a darkness in your heart. who even says "slept with" and "courted" anymore besides a sweetheart like you? youre like an angel to me, but i- dont have the best reputation anymore. and the number of partners ive had seemed to disgust you. it broke my heart the way you looked at me the other day knowing that id slept with joshua. like you thought i was- i dunno.. im sorry i did it, i really am. i never wouldve done it if i'd known you really did want me too." ven reaches up and places a hand to terras cheek promising "Terra, I think the world of you. i wouldnt be with you if i didnt think you were a great person. the best even! you know how much i admire you. i just- was I just a fling? how do i know im not the next joshua or shiki you sl- have sex with and drop?"

and terra leans down to kiss his forehead and chuckles "because you're you, silly." that gets ven smiling again, the cornier the better with him<3 he presses his nose to terras chest and slides his arms up over his back for a tight hug and terra is so relieved they got through that dkfgjhdjl f ven tells him "I'm sorry for making you feel judged. i was way too rash about that whole thing." terra tells him its alright, imeanididlietoyouafterallahem.. ven goes = _= for just a second, cuz yeah that sure wasnt cool dfkjgh but he removes it cuz mostly hes back to smiling and he pulls himself away to look up at terra again, admitting with a blush "i guess i'm still in disbelief that youre really mine. maybe in 5 years or something i'll believe it" ven chuckles at his joke, but terra smiles down at him very sincerely and says "then i'm counting the years with you til then~" and that just tickles him and he jumps up to give terra make up smooches for a while<3 eventually they emerge from the locker room, ven clearly looking like hed been crying but smiling away again, even feeling okay enough to go to class now, cuz hes a good boy who wouldnt just ditch at that point like i would xD terra looks relieved too. aqua breaks formation when she sees them come out and runs up to ven to ask if hes okay and hug him if he needs, but ven says "everythings fine :) thanks aqua~" and aqua looks up at terra to double check that and terra nods affirmatively that yes, everything is fine. ven nudges aqua "see you at practice today~" and waves at terra too, knowing he prefers not to smooch in front of the other seniors;; but terra tells him to hang on and he runs over to give him a smooch goodbye and all is well after that<3 and axel snarks "tchh- drama queens :/"

[bbyboybrock--archived]

Serendipity (C.B) | Chapter 22

Summary: Serendipity: (n) the chance occurrence of events in a beneficial way

Popular youtuber Isabella Hart, known as Bella to her audience, bends over backwards to separate her youtube life from her private life. Known for her overall clean content and her bubbly attitude, Isabella has a wild side to her that only those inside the youtube community know about. When Bella meets Colby during one of the trap house parties she finally meets someone she can be her genuine self with. When trouble arises after their meeting, will Bella be able to hand the pressure or will she destroy her relationship with Colby as well as herself in the process. [This starts in 2018]

Written: 2019

Word Count: 3,408

Warnings: swearing

Serendipity Masterlist

"Just be safe, all of you. Keep me updated. I'll be home all night in case you guys get arrested again." I joke as I kiss Colby and hug Sam goodbye.

"We're always safe and there is like, no way we can get arrested for this. We've already gone there a few times." Colby says ruffling my head.

"Yeah, we're not going back there." I watch them walk down the hall before closing the door and throwing myself on the couch.

I have stuff I should do, that I need to do. I can't get over this overwhelming feeling that something bad is going to happen tonight. Ever since Sam and Colby got back from Florida, things have been off. Nothing major where they've been completely changed by that experience. I know that Sam has been feeling weird about a lot of things. He even started overthinking more than he should. Colby keeps saying that everything is fine, but he hasn't even talked to me about what happened. He has trouble sleeping most nights. I end up going to bed before him, and I've been going to bed close to 2 am. It's been two months, and I don't want to push him, but I'm worried.

I can't tell Sam and Colby what to do. They're grown, men. I can't tell them that I don't want them going back to ritual tunnel with Matt and Elton just because I feel like something bad is going to happen. Just like how I can't force Colby to open up to me. He's my boyfriend, and I love him, but he has to want to come to me with his problems. If I charge at him with all my concerns and questions about his wellbeing, he might retreat further into his shell.

I push myself off the couch and grab my phone to order food. I go into my office and grab my laptop and headphones. I also take my blanket and adjust the pillows on the couch. I decided after one particularly scary night when Colby left me home alone to film with Sam that it would be best for me to work in the living room. I finish setting up my little impromptu work station and wait for my food to be delivered.

I've been working on an album for the past few months and it's finally being released next month. Nick wants me to do an album release party where we invite fans and a few people in the industry to see if anyone will sign me. I'm working on new merch designs that'll be released with the album. I turn on the tv and start working.

****

I wake up to the sound of glass breaking. I rub my eyes to see that I'm in a pitch-black room. Judging by my surroundings, I think I'm in bed. The last thing I remember was watching a movie in the living room. I don't remember falling asleep or going into the bedroom. I get out of bed quickly and rush to the living room where Colby is kneeling on the floor.

"Babe?" Colby looks up for a second and then goes back to cleaning up what he dropped.

"I didn't mean to wake you. I accidentally broke your Winnie the Pooh mug. I'm sorry, I'll get you a new one." I quickly grab the broom from the closet and hand it to Colby.

"It's fine, it's just a mug. When did you get home?" I start cleaning up what's left on the table, which is just my work stuff. Colby already threw away my food trash.

"We got back a while ago. I was in Sam's apartment until 15 minutes ago." Colby empties the dustpan and puts everything back in the closet.

"Really? Doing what?" I fix the pillows on the couch and sit down.

"We were just talking." Colby leans against the doorframe to our little hallway.

"About what? Did something happen tonight? Are—"

"What's with the third degree, Isabella? Sam and I are best friends and we sit around talking all the time."

"I'm sorry, you just seem off."

"No, you shouldn't have to apologize. I'm sorry for snapping. It's late and some shit happened tonight. I'm just tired. I'm tired and I really need a shower. Can we talk about this later?"

"Yeah, no, for sure, we can do this later. Go take a shower and get to bed. I'll leave you alone." I collect my things from the table, kiss Colby on the cheek, and put everything back in my office.

I climb in bed and decide to scroll through Twitter while waiting for Colby to get out of the shower. I stop on a tweet from the Sam and Colby twitter account about them almost losing their lives tonight. I close twitter and listen to some music. Nearly half an hour later Colby comes in, turns off the light, and flops down next to me. Almost instinctively, he wraps his arms around me. I turn the music off and try to sleep.

I stop thinking about that tweet. What happened? If what happened was worse than it turned out to be, would I still be sleeping on the living room floor thinking I'm going to wake up to Colby being home or would I be standing in a hospital? I can understand Colby not wanting to talk about it right now. He's probably still processing what happened. I wish I hadn't seen that tweet. Now I'm left with a million little questions bouncing around in my head. I can only imagine how Colby's feeling right now.

I adjust myself in his arms so I'm facing him. I softly stroking his hair and listen to his breathing. I don't know what happened, but the idea that I could have lost him tonight is scaring me shitless. I wouldn't be right here right now sleeping next to him. I probably would be regretting all the times I didn't take advantage of Colby's presence because I think he's always going to be here. His smell is all over this apartment, and it would be for a while. I would miss the fact that when we're sleeping, Colby is always touching me in some way. Like he's reassuring himself that I'm here. This is how Colby must have felt when I tried to kill myself. I hate myself for even doing that to him.

How would I even find out? Would they have died inside the tunnel? Would I have woken up tomorrow to an empty apartment? Would I spend the day calling every single police station in the area to see if they had gotten arrested only to find out that they were nowhere to be found? Would random people in the forest find them right away or would it take days? Would I deny even looking in the tunnel because I would hope that Colby is somewhere in the area hiding or playing a sick and mean prank? Who knows? Just thinking about this is making me feel nauseous. I focus on the sound of Colby breathing again and try to sleep.

****

"I'm coming! Jesus Christ..." I shuffle through the apartment to open the door to reveal Addison holding coffees and food.

"I know, I know. I have a key but I don't want to risk walking in on you and Colby. Were you still asleep? It's like 9 am. Where is Colby?" Addison walks in and starts setting everything down on the counter when everything from last night floods its way to the front of my brain.

Colby wasn't there when I woke up. I rush to the fridge to find a note saying that he and Sam are in a meeting and he doesn't know when he'll be back. For a second I thought that I dreamed Colby coming home but everything else was real.

"I didn't sleep much last night. Kinda slept through my alarms. Colby is in a meeting. Listen, Addy right now isn't a good time." I take a coffee from Addison and take a big gulp. Luckily, it wasn't too hot.

"Okay, but you have deadlines. I know it sounds rude but you have your album release party next month and vendors need to do test designs to make sure everything goes smoothly. Just give me everything that you have completed and I will be out of your hair. I'm your assistant, so let me assist you." Addison takes my coffee from me as I was drinking so I wouldn't brush her off.

"Fine. I'll set you up in my office. I finished the merch designs so you can email those as well as go through and start drafting the emails for the VIP list for the event. I also really need a nap so I'm going to eat the food you brought, take a shower, and then sleep on the couch. I'm giving you my phone. Only wake me up if I'm needed to approve something for a vendor or someone on the pre-approved list calls. And can you text Colby from my phone that you're here in case I'm asleep when he comes home? I don't want him to get scared." I bring Addison to my office and start pulling up everything I worked on last night onto the big computer. I'm hoping Addison will be gone by the time Colby comes home so I can see if he'll talk about what happened last night while he was out.

I take a sip of my coffee before hopping into the shower. I take a quick shower to clear my mind a little. I don't even wash my hair. I did that last night and I don't want the pink in my hair to fade out too much. I get out, change into comfy clothes, and then decided to take my nap in bed so I don't have to make it right now.

****

I climbed into the backseat of Colby's red Toyota Corolla because whenever Sam Colby and I need to go somewhere together, Sam always gets the front seat if I'm not driving my car. Not that I'm complaining too much. Sam was here first. Sam is Colby's best friend. He might even be his platonic soulmate. I'm only Colby's girlfriend and I would have a problem if Colby bumped Sam to the backseat because of me.

My quick nap ended up being nearly 2 hours despite chugging an entire cup of coffee to avoid that from happening. Addison woke me up because Sam texted me asking to go to lunch. And then soon after, he called. She said the tone in his voice sounded urgent and that's the only reason why she woke me up. When she handed me the phone Sam said that both he and Colby wanted to talk. So I told him that I would be ready by the time they came to pick me up. I changed quickly and waited nervously with Addison until they came.

Which leads to this exact moment in time. The music is on, but low. I can't even tell what station it's on. It might be on a long commercial break that won't end until we've neared our destination. The tension in the car is thicker than Colby's vape smoke. We make small talk, about trivial things: how our day has been, the strangely cool weather— things none of us care about. They're speaking lower than normal and I can barely hear them. It's what they don't talk about that's deafening: what happened last night and what their meeting is about.

Colby pulls into a parking lot of an unknown diner and all three of us get out. When we're seated, we still don't talk about what actually needs to be talked about. Instead, we continue our small talk, this time about what we should order. A few minutes later the waitress takes our order and after she leaves we still don't talk. I realize that it's because they don't want to be interrupted, which scared me more because what could have possibly happened last night where they wanted to take me out of our complex and have lunch in a random diner.

"Why do I feel like both of you are going to dump me?" I ask before taking a sip of my soda. The food finally arrived and I was getting tired of the unspoken.

"No, no we just wanted to get some advice from you. We just figured that it would be best to feed you beforehand." Colby responds. He's smiling, but not really. The corners of his mouth are making the shape of a smile, but the crinkles in the corners of his eyes aren't there. The same goes for Sam.

"Advice about what?" I pick up a fry and eat it slowly. I didn't eat it because I'm hungry, but because I needed to calm myself.

"Things just don't feel right with us right now. Everything has felt off since Florida and everything that's happened last night just doesn't help this feeling. We've been escaped pretty dangerous situations both times, but you know the rule of three. We've talked to our families and management this morning and they all suggested taking a break. Since you're the only one who took a break like this that we know of, we wanted your advice on that." Sam explains.

I stop stress eating my fries for a second and think carefully of what I'm about to say.

"You two have been making content for youtube practically nonstop since you switched platforms, so yes, in my opinion, you guys should definitely take a break. Especially because you guys are starting to feel off and what's happened. Do it now before you burn out later and regret it."

"Okay, what do you suggest we do? How do we go about this break?" Colby asks. He's not even looking at me. I look both of them in the eyes and the life that used to be in them before is nearly gone.

"You have a few things to consider: how long you're taking a break for, the purpose for the break, and how much you want to disconnect. For example, when I took my break, there was a time where I didn't think I was going to go back to the social media world. When I figured that I was going to come back, I set a mini deadline. The original purpose for my break was to let the drama around me fade and possible quit and go back to having a normal life. The new purpose became to change how I was on the internet. And when I disconnected I went cold turkey; I only exited through the inactive shells of my accounts. Nobody knew a thing about me because I didn't even want you guys positing anything about me on your social media. So, Sam and Colby, how long are you guys going to be gone, what is the goal of your hiatus, and how inactive do you want to be?" Sam and Colby look at each other for a second.

"We'll think about it. We do want to go back eventually. We just don't know when yet. Everyone we've talked to so far said that we should take a break while everything cools down. Especially with the whole thing with us getting arrested not being completely done yet. But thank you." Sam explains before finally starting to eat his food.

We all eat like our previous conversation didn't just happen. Colby is more quiet than usual. But I don't push, I will never push. If I push, Colby goes away.

****

Eventually, we finished talking and they take me back to the apartment. I only got dropped off because Sam and Colby still had another meeting. When I got home Addison left for the day and I had nothing left to do. So I wandered the apartment cleaning and doing the chores. I start doing the laundry, clean the sink, finally make the bed, etc. I run across the shopping list Colby and I keep on the fridge. It's a mix of food items and general hygiene things that we need. When one of us notices that something's out, we write it on the list and we either go together or one of us does the shopping. I took the list and went to Target.

When I got home I noticed Colby's keys on the hook. I set the bags on the counter and start unloading them.

"Colbs! I'm home and I did the shopping! Come help please!" I should as I put a tub of ice cream in the freezer. He doesn't respond. I don't even know where he is.

"Colby?" I shout again. I wait a few seconds before I stop what I was doing and start to look for Colby.

First I look upstairs. Sometimes he has his volume up so loud in his headphones that he can't hear me. He's not there so I walk back down and check in the bedroom. When I open the door I find Colby sitting on the floor with his back against the bed. Something's wrong. He's breathing heavy with his hand over his chest.

"Colby, what's wrong?" I rush over to him and place my hand on his back. He doesn't respond.

"Whatever it is, it's going to be okay. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. Why don't we sit on the bed." I stand up and help Colby up slowly and have him sit on the bed. I sit next to him and have him lay down and put his head in my lap.

"Let's just focus on breathing... let's just count for now. Let's count and breathe. Ready? One— Come on baby, count with me— breath in, breathe out, one... breathe in, breathe out, two... good job, keep going..." I stroke Colby's hair as we count together.

He stares up at me with tears in his eyes threatening to fall. The whole time I kept a small smile but seeing him like this was killing me. He calmed down by the time we got to eight. But I don't stop stroking his hair. I start to softly sing the only thing that I can think of, Colby's song. I do that until Colby slowly drifts to sleep. When his eyes finally close, the tears he was holding back finally fall. I dry his face, lift his head so I could get up, and kiss his forehead before writing him a note that I would be right back.

I quietly leave the apartment and walk over to Sam's. I knock and wait. I don't even know if Sam's home or even alone. I knock harder and fast and eventually, Sam opens the door.

"Isabella? What's up?" Sam moves out of the way so I could walk in.

"Look, I'm sorry to barge in and I know you have a lot to do but I really need you to tell me what happened last night." Sam closes the door and stands by me.

"Izzy, I really think you should talk to Colby about that. I mean, I could tell you but it's not going to be the same as him telling you and talking about it."

"Colby is Colby; he's not going to tell me anything if he knows that I'm going to worry about him. You know that. He still hasn't even told me about Florida. But I'm his girlfriend so I'm going to worry about him either way. I just want to be able to help him. And most importantly, I want to know why the hell I came home to my boyfriend having a fucking panic attack in our bedroom."

"What? Is he—" Sam starts walking to the door.

"He's fine. I got him to calm down. He's sleeping right now. Please, Sam, you know Colby better than anyone. I love him and I know you love him too so help me help him. Just tell me what happened. You don't have to talk about when you got arrested, just at least tell me about last night." Sam hesitates for a minute. He stares at me for a few seconds before sighing.

"Fine," he ruffles his hair, "I'll tell you everything. Let's go talk in the filming room."

[teenwolffan-with-nolife]

Someone Else

Word Count:1,933

Characters: Isaac Lahey, Scott Mcall, Mcall!Reader, Stiles Stlinkski, Allison Argent (mentioned)

Pairings: Isaac Lahey x Mcall!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Isaac being a dick of a boyfriend Request(s): 1.)TW imagine the reader is Scott sister and is getting suspicious of Isaac and Allison and the reader is just tired of his lies and late nights and the excuse of Allison needs me for this and she just doesn't want half a boyfriend and she yells at him and breaks up with him and it feels like her heart has been ripped out of her chest.

2.) TW imagine the reader is Scott sister and she notices that Isaac has been hanging out w/ Allison a lot more and it feels like her heart has been ripped out of her chest and she's emotionally hurt by it too and breaks up with him.

3.)TW imagine the reader is not with the pack even though she is dating Isaac and he is spending all of his time with Allison or Scott which ever one needs him the most and she breaks up with him threw a text and she separates herself from him.

@cokecola4211 A/N: I got as close to the request as I could! Hope you enjoy! Feedback is appreciated!

A/N: I know the title sucks, I didn’t know what to put so.....

Lately, things have been weird between you and Isaac. Normally, things were weird. Why wouldn’t they be? You have only been dating each other for a month, and he already moved into your house because Derek kicked him out for some reason. Even though everything happened, and the two of you felt like you were moving too fast, things were never like this.

He’s barely there anymore. You guys probably spend 5 minutes with each other a day. You didn’t even have normal conversations anymore.

You questioned your relationship with him, a lot, but every time you did, it was either Scott or Stiles who would reassure you that he still loved you, always making excuses for him. Like, “Don’t worry, he still loves you. He’s just going through something.” Or, “Don’t worry about it, he just doesn’t want to be awkward around you, so tries to go.” Even Derek tried to reassure you that he still loved you, but it still hurt.

There was one person that he was always with, Allison. You couldn’t help but think something was going on between the two of them.

---

“Hey Scott, where’s Isaac?” you asked your brother as you walked to his room and laid down on his bed.

“I don’t know, but what I do know is that you have your own room.”

“I do, but it’s more fun coming here to bother you.” you teased.

“Don’t you have any homework or anything?” Stiles asked you.

“I finished that hours ago. I’m bored,” you replied.

“Well, why are you bugging us? We’re trying to figure out our homework. Did you come here to brag?” Scott asked you.

“No, I came here to ask you if you knew where Isaac was. But, I can totally help you with your homework.”

“No, it’s fine. We have to learn stuff. I can’t keep asking my little sister for help with my homework. It should be the other way around.” Scott said.

You smiled.

“Okay then, I’ll head back to my room. Goodnight.”

“What? You’re going to bed?? This early?! That’s a first.” Stiles spoke in shock.

“Oh shut up. First off, it’s not early, it’s 11 PM. Second, I have a chem test tomorrow morning, and I would really like to be prepared for that.”

You never really slept. You would normally binge-watch shows till 3 in the morning. But the nerve in your stomach, which constantly made you worry about Isaac, was telling you otherwise.

“What’s wrong?” Scott asked.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just want to sleep early.” you shrugged.

“(Y/N), I know you. I know that you stay up till 3 in the morning watching Supernatural. I know that you don’t care about Chemistry. I can tell something’s off.” Scott sighed.

The two of them sat on each side of you.

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just worried about Isaac. I think I’m losing him.” you said, as your eyes started tearing up a bit.

“(Y/N), don’t worry about that. Isaac loves you, you won’t lose him.” Stiles tried to reason with you.

“I don’t think that’s true anymore. I mean, we barely even see or talk to each other anymore,” you explained, as more tears started coming down your face.

“He does still love you,” Scott said.

You didn’t reply. Scott and Stiles noticed you crying, and they were shocked. They both hugged you. You just laid there on the bed, looking at the roof of Scott’s room, slowly drifting off to sleep.

---

Once you fell asleep, Scott and Stiles slowly carried you to your bed. As they put you in bed, they heard the front door open. It was Isaac.

“Stay here with her.” Scott mouthed to Stiles.

He nodded his head as Scott went to Isaac.

“Where the hell have you been?!” Scott asked Isaac in anger.

“Whoa chill. I was just helping Allison with something.” Isaac replied, not sure what the big deal was.

“You need to talk to (Y/N). She thinks she’s losing you. She cried herself to sleep today! She’s worried that you’re going to leave her, and  Stiles and I are always covering for you!” Scott yelled softly.

“I’m sorry Scott. I’ll make it up to her, I swear.” Isaac replied, looking worried. You never cried, ever. Not even when something sad happened. You were a strong person, and that was one of your many good qualities. Isaac knew he made a mistake, and he had to make it up for you.

---

As you woke up, you smelt something burning, then you heard some yelling.

“What the hell?” you said, as you took your sheets off and walked downstairs.

“Isaac, what the hell are you burning?” you asked him, as you covered your face from the smoke.

“Sorry, I, uh, was trying to make you breakfast. I’m not really the best with a stove,” he replied.

You started coughing.

“I really appreciate the thought. Thanks, Isaac.” you smiled at him.

After the smoke died down, Isaac went to you and pulled you into a passionate kiss.

“What was that for?” you smiled.

“I’m sorry for being the worst boyfriend, ever. I really screwed up. To make it up to you, I made a reservation. For tonight at 8.” Isaac smiled.

You grinned widely and kissed him once again. “I love you,” you said with a smile.

“I love you too,” he replied.

---

After school ended, you went home to quickly finished up your homework and started getting ready for your date with Isaac.

“What’s going on?” Scott asked you as he leaned against your doorway but quickly fell over.

You laughed at him. He immediately got up, as his face was red with embarrassment.

“Oh my gosh, that was the best thing I’ve seen all day!” you laughed harder.

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. So, where are you going?”, he asked you, ignoring your laughing.

“Isaac’s taking me out for a date tonight,” you said with a smile.

“Nice. Well, have fun.” Scott said as he left your room, and tripped over the rug.

You started laughing even harder again.

“Today really isn’t your day!” you laughed at him.

---

You were finally ready. You wore an ocean blue dress, with black heels.

“Hey brother!” you said as you peeked your head into Scott’s room. As usual, Stiles was there.

“Do you need something?” he asked.

“Uhmm, I kinda, sorta need you to uh, drop me off at the restaurant.” you smiled at him.

“I’ll do it,” Stiles said.

“Really?” you asked him.

“Yeah, I have to go home anyway, it’s on my way,” Stiles said.

“Thanks! I’ll see you in the car!” you exclaimed as you disappeared.

“You have to go home? I thought you were gonna stay here and help me figure out what the hell this is!” Scott asked worriedly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back. My dad needs help with something. I’ll be gone for an hour, tops.” Stiles replied as he grabbed his keys and left.

---

“Thanks again for the ride,” you said to Stiles.

“No problem. Have fun.” Stiles smiled before you hopped out of the car and he drove off.

---

You stood there waiting for Isaac, for a long time. Longer than an hour for sure. You were freezing. You decided to call him.

“Hey Isaac, are you coming?”

“Isaac it’s getting late. Are you coming or not?”

“Isaac, it’s (Y/N) again. I’m still waiting for you. Please tell me if you're coming or not. I think I’m getting sick.”

“Isaac, it’s been over two hours.”

“I’m going home.”

---

You sent Isaac voicemails until your phone died, so you had no way to contact anyone. You felt heartbroken, as you walked home in the freezing cold weather. You couldn’t help but cry. Isaac let you down. You couldn’t believe you actually believed he would come. You cried to yourself. It was gonna be a long way home.

---

When you entered the house, your hair was ruined, as well as your makeup. There were mascara smears all over your face as your freezing body opened the door. You looked like hell. You were crying and your teeth were chattering. Scott was the first person to see you, and he got scared.

“(Y/N)! What the hell happened?!”, he yelled as he ran to you with a blanket.

“I-Isaac didn't come,” you cried shakily.

“Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve picked you up!” he exclaimed.

“M-My phone died,” you said as he walked you to the couch and hugged you, giving you some warmth.

Soon after, Stiles came as well.

“(Y/N) what the hell!?!” he exclaimed.

You saw Scott mouth something to Stiles, but you weren’t paying attention.

“Where the hell is he?” Scott said angrily.

“I-I don’t know. H-He’s not answering my calls.” you cried.

“(Y/N), let’s get you to bed,” Stiles said softly.

You nodded your head as he led you upstairs.

“I’m so stupid.” you cried.

Stiles looked at you in pity. “No (Y/N), don’t say that.”

“I trusted Isaac to come! I actually believed him! That proves what an idiot I am!” you cried.

“Listen, (Y/N), you’re not the idiot. Isaac is. He doesn’t know that he has the most valuable person in the world by him.” Stiles comforted you.

“Thank you, Stiles.” you gave a small smile to him, sniffling.

As you started getting ready for bed, Isaac came into your room.

“(Y/N)!” he exclaimed breathlessly.

“Don’t talk to me.” you hissed.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. It’s just, Allison needed some help and, I forgot and-” you cut him off.

“Enough about Allison! Every time I want to do something with you, you’re always with her. I try not to be a jealous or controlling girlfriend, but you make it so hard! You’re always with Allison!” you yelled at him.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. I am, but-” you cut him off again.

“Isaac, I just want to ask you one question. Do you like Allison?”

He went silent as he looked down.

“Do you like Allison or not?” you asked him.

“(Y/N)-” he sighed.

“No! Stop lying to me! Just tell me the truth!” you cried.

He slowly nodded his head as he continued to look down. That was when your heart shattered.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” you asked softly, still crying.

“I-I didn’t want to hurt you. (Y/N), I did love you. I promise.” Isaac said, his eyes getting watery.

“Go away Isaac,” you said.

“(Y/N), please. Let’s talk about this.” Isaac begged.

“No. Please, just leave Isaac.” you cried softly as you turned away.

“(Y/N),” Isaac said as he put his hand on your shoulder.

“No Isaac! Please! Go away!” you screamed at him as you pushed him out and locked the door as fast as you could.

“(Y/N) wait!” Isaac yelled, trying to stop the door, but it was too late. He leaned his back against the door and slid down, tears taking over his face.

---

A little while after, you were still laying on your bed, crying softly. Isaac left your door and was off somewhere else. Scott came in and sat next to your sobbing figure.

“(Y/N),” he said softly as he hugged you.

I hate him. You guys were wrong!” you cried.

“(Y/N) he’s just an idiot. I’m sorry.” Scott whispered to you.

“I-It feels like someone ripped my heart out. I-It hurts Scott.” you cried.

Scott sat there hugging you gently, as you clung onto his shirt tightly, crying on him. You didn’t need words. You just needed your big brother. And you were happy he was there for you.

[mysticalmagicalunicornheart]

I was just sitting here all depressed. I’m a bit sleep deprived. I went to sleep after 4 am, and was woken up by my husband saying I was so rude and a fucking hypocrite for not coming to bed last night. I tried to tell him that I didn’t come to bed because I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake him. But he couldn’t hear that he had already made up his mind that he was mad at me 🤷🏼‍♀️ what can I do. So I let the dogs out and went back to sleep on the couch until 8.

I woke up and immediately jumped in th shower. The dogs were all piled on me so I kinda felt sweaty and I always try to wake myself up that way. I mean I only slept about 2 and a half hours total time last night. But today is a day I have to go to court and see LC Noel’s murderer—— it’s always stomach sickening to look at her all alive and getting to do life after killing a five year old. I just don’t get it, how can you sit there and act like you’re not guilty? I would never be able to live with myself I swear. I’d end up killing my self or happily go to prison forever. I’d do anything to make sure the family knew I was so sorry. But not that gross woman can’t do that....

Tonight I guess we’re going to a MADD candle light tree lighting thing in uptown. I hate going out and doing anything but I wouldn’t want to miss anything for my niece Noel. The same way as if she were still here with us I’d show up for her anytime I can and that won’t stop now. So I’m going even tho I am completely exhausted.

Well I have about and hour or so to get some cleaning done and smoke before court. So I’m trying to lift myself up a little bit and become more positive. I was browsing all these depression blogs like SAME, exactly!!!, I thought I was the only one!! ..... yadayadayada....but at the same time I asked myself. Is that who you want to be?

fuck no.

I can’t let myself get like that I don’t want to feel the same. I’m getting help, I’m gonna put in the work on myself for myself.

I am sad— depressed after trauma—and a part of my heart will always be this broken because losing Noel broke me. I am gonna have bad days, I’m gonna have sleepless nights, I’m going to have to see terrible people, I’m going to have to stop the bullshit and remind myself that Noel wouldn’t like who I was becoming and neither did I. I want to be the best version of me. The best Wife, sister, daughter, aunt mom etc... I strive to always be the best for my relationships and that is why I fight so hard. And I notice that sometimes I’m fighting with myself because I am trying to make everyone happy and don’t feel like anyone notices. But I know that is my mental illness talking. So I am trying to be better at recognizing that.

I don’t want to be so sad anymore. I don’t want to let depression kill me. I don’t want Noel’s deaths to overshadow all the life she put inside me.

So today from this day forward I’m going to be fucking working so hard on myself and never stop working on myself. No trauma and tragedy is going to stop me because that is an unfortunate part of life. And a huge part of mine too, but I love myself when I am happy. I love being happy. And although it is gonna be hard to find happiness somedays. Ya kno “ how can i be happy without Noel here” “ how can I be happy when my sister is suffering so hard and she can’t find happiness” it’s rough for me it’s gonna be rough, but I have the vision and goal in my head that maybe I just need to be that first step and leader in our family. And what I mean by that is I will lead our family through grief and not let it destroy us. Not let it destroy the people we want to be. We are gonna be sad, mad, angry and everything in between but we can’t just jump in the pot and let those emotions marinate or that’s what we will become. The mad, sad, angry, and everything in between family. I want to be the family that stands strong together through it all, holding each other up when we need it but never let the other fall under at least not for long. Life doesn’t have to miserable without Noel. I imagine all the things it could have been with her here-that’s painful- but I’m not gonna alllow my life to become miserable. Gonna Live loud and carefree and always Love Like Noel. She truly inspires me and she has again today. I’m grateful for the connection I share with her because I still feel it. It’s weird, I know but I talk to her and she shows me things.. opens my mind I know I sound crazy but it’s real. You can’t lose connections with people after death I think it’s still there but you have to be really open minded to find it and keep it alive.

It’s Hard to be positive around my family. They’re so negative and I get it so I can’t be like okay y’all come on.. cause I get it I’m feeling it too. I’m hurt. But I can’t believe that this is how we’re supposed to live now? Noel would not be cool with us living like we’re broken, unable to function the way we wish. I’m not doing that anymore.

Somethings gotta change cause this isn’t working. Here goes today is the first day on the way to getting a better life for me and my loved ones.

[alexconfusion]

1-100 please (I’m serious... or at least do like 20 of em. The first twenty. But I’d prefer them all)

Is this a challenge

1 Middle Name- Katherine

2 Age- 13 (yah I know I’m a baby blah blah blah shut up guys djskdjjd)

3 Birthday- May 8, 2006 (8:29am, to be exact)

4 Zodiac- sun: Taurus moon: Virgo, I believe

5 Fav Color- blue is my aesthetic but purple is my fav

6 My Lucky Number- five

7 Pets- two guinea pigs (ginny and lily), two dogs (bailey and maya) [i will provide pics if you want]

8 Where I’m From- Massachusetts

9 Height- 5’1

10 Shoe Size- eight

11 How Many Pairs of Shoes I Own- three

12 My Last Dream- Shane Dawson fixed my family issues and helped me come out to them (it was awesome, 10/10 would do again)

13 My Talents- piano (I have soundcloud check it out if u want), writing

14 Am I Psychic- HELL YEAH I AM shoot me an ask if u wanna know more cuz it’s kind of a long story (ok maybe not actually psychic but it’s a fun story)

15 Favorite Song- Amnesia - 5sos (it makes me cry every time and I don’t even care)

16 Favorite Movie- Into the Spider-Verse

17 My Ideal Partner - idk u tell me

18 Do I Want Kids?- potentially, but if I did I would adopt

19 Do I Want a Church Wedding- nah they look boring. I was part of the wedding party for my cousins wedding and it was absolute torture

20 Am I Religious- not really

21 Have I Ever Been to the Hospital- yeah, I was seven and stepped on glass at the beach (huge gash, kinda gorey, wouldn’t reccomend) anyways I didn’t know I cut my foot open at first and walked around the beach and a fuck ton of sand got in it (I had a very rough summer)

22 Have I Ever Been in Trouble With the Law- fuck no who do you think I am??

23 Have I Met any Celebrities- nope

24 Baths or Showers- showers duh, they’re good for so many things: crying, hair washing, pretending you’re standing in the rain,

25 What Color Socks am I Wearing- striped gray with blue owls (yes they are lit)

26 Have I Ever Been Famous- uh no

27 Would I Like to be a Celebrity?- sometimes I think it would be cool because if I make a lot of money I could help a lot of people, but usually no because having privacy is important to me

28 What Type of Music do I like- pretty much anything but acoustic versions have always had a special place in my heart

29 Have I Ever Been Skinny Dipping?- no gross

30 How Many Pillows do I Sleep With- one on each end of the bed so I can flip upside down and still have a pillow

31 What Position do I Sleep in-

(It’s comfy)

32 How Big is My House- two main floors, attic, basement

33 What do I Have for Breakfast- usually nothing, either because I slept through the normal breakfast time or because I didn’t have time to eat

34 Have I Ever Fired a Gun- no

35 Have I Ever Tried Archery?- Hell yeah I did, summer camp was a wild time almost shot someone in the face

36 Fav Clean Word- twilight

37 Fav Swear Word- fuck

38 Longest I’ve Ever Went Without Sleep- forty eight hours (those were two of the best days of my life btw)

39 Do I Have Any Scars- yeah

40 Have I Ever Had a Secret Admirer- nope but I wish

41 Am I a Good Liar- fantastic, actually

42 Am I a Good Judge of Character- what,, what does this mean??

43 Can I do Any Accents- I can do a really terrible British accent but nobody likes it

44 Do I Have a Strong Accent- nope

45 What is my Favorite Accent- Australian

46 What is my personality type- on the Myers Briggs test I’m an Adventurer (it’s creepily spot on, I highly recommend taking it)

47 My Most Expensive Piece of Clothing- Are vans clothing? If so my blue high top vans that I fucking adore. If not, probably my adidas shorts or something

48 Can I Curl My Tongue- I can do the classic fold in half one and the three leaf clover. look it up, it’s cool as hell

49 Am I am Innie or an Outie- innie

50 Right or Left Handed- right, but I’m ambidextrous when playing golf and I play lacross lefty

51 Am I Scared of Spiders- a little, not a phobia

52 Favorite Food- pears or frozen yogurt

53 Favorite Foreign Food- sushi

54 Am I a Clean or Messy Person- tbh it fluctuates but mostly clean. Like I myself am clean but my room is a wreck yknow

55 Most Used Phrase- “oh shit”

56 Most Used Word- oof

57 How Long do I Take to Get Ready- ten minutes, fifteen tops and five minimum

58 Do I Have an Ego- I don’t think so?

59 Do I Suck or Bite Lolipops- bite

60 Do I Talk to Myself- sometimes, it’s usually just strings of curse words

61 Do I Sing to Myself- yeah on occasion

62 Am I a Good Singer- no but my friends seem to think so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

63 Biggest Fear- losing everyone I care about/everyone I care about hating me

64 Am I a Gossip?- only if it’s not something serious and only to my closest friend

65 Best Dramatic Movie I’ve Seen- schindlers list, haven’t seen the whole thing (I’m kinda scared to) but it looks incredible even though it’s so horrific

66 Do I Like Long or Short Hair- I don’t really care, but I do kind of like longer hair on other people (i.e I like girls) (yes girls with short hair are awesome too but long/medium length hair is just.. yeah.)

67 Can I Name all 50 Stares of America- I could when I was 8 but now I can only list like 10

68 Favorite School Subject- English

69 (haha) Extrovert or Introvert- introvert

70 Have I Ever Been Scuba Diving- no and I don’t think I’d want to

71 What Makes Me Nervous- talking to people I don’t know

72 Am I Scared Of The Dark- not really. unless I like hear a noise and start imagining all the possible causes of the noise and freak myself out

73 Do I Correct People When They Make Mistakes- yeah sometimes, but I try to do it as nicely as I can (unless I don’t like the person *cough* my brother *cough*)

74 Am I Ticklish- yes. very.

75 Have I Ever Started a Rumor- no, but people thought I did and that was a whole mess

76 Have I Ever Been in a Position of Authority- I mean I was a captain when we played kickball in gym (does that count)

77 Have I Ever Drank Underage- nope, and I don’t intent to

78 Have I Ever Done Drugs- nope, and I don’t intend to

79 Who Was My First Real Crush- olivia, fifth grade. I pretended I had a crush on the guy next to her so I could stare at her and pretend I was looking at him

80 How Many Piercings Do I Have- none

81 Can I Roll My Rs- no matter how hard I try I can never seem to get the hang of it. and I’ve tried, believe me, I sound like an idiot every time but I still try

82 How Fast Can I Type- 135 wpm

83 How Fast Can I Run- Moderately fast, but not for very long

84 What Color is My Hair- dirty blonde

85 What Color Are My Eyes- they switch between gray, green, and blue, but they’re mostly a combination of all three with green being the most noticeable (I ask people this question a lot and they usually say blue or green)

86 What am I Allergic to- nothing I’m invincible.

87 Do I Keep a Journal- yup, eight years and counting. fun fact my first entry ever was a full two and a half pages about dolphin facts, complete with a picture

88 What do My Parents do- my moms a vet, idk what my dad does (it’s something with pharmaceuticals I think)

89 Do I Like My Age- eh on the one hand I can say I’m a teen but on the other people are like “omg!!! babey???? ur a babey omfg..”

90 What Makes Me Angry- when people are condescending or hypocritical

91 Do I Like My Name- I hate my first name (irl it’s not alex but I’ll probably end up changing it) and I hate my last name (long story) but I kinda like my middle name cuz it reminds me of Six

92 Have I Thought if Baby Names, if so What Are They- idk I’d probably name them after my friends (i.e hailey, lander, flan, drew, finn, that’s about it)

93 Do I Want a Boy or Girl For a Child- first of all when did I say I wanted a child and second of all I don’t care

94 What Are My Strengths- shitposts

95 What Are My Weaknesses- dealing with emotions, controlling anger, handling criticism, there are definitely others but I’m tired okay

96 How Did I Get My Name- first name: bible, middle name: my great grandmother, last name: my dad

97 Were My Ancestors Royalty- not that I know of

98 Do I Have Any Scars- see #39

99 What Color is My Bedspread- I don’t have one but my sheet is dark blue

100 What Color is My Room- a light blue teal-ish color

[noonetosmilefor]

Flower asks.

Thank you once more, @uneven-odds. <3

Alisons: Sexuality? - Straight.

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender? - Her.

Amaryllis: Birthday? - 11th of July.

Anemone: Favorite flower? - Tulip.

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show? - Stranger Things.

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger? - As far as saving their life without risking mine.

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes? - “Nothing in the world can trouble you as much as your own thoughts.”

Aubrieta: Favorite drink? - Tea.

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - No.

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love? - Yes.

Baneberries: Favorite song? - Currently Lost by Dermot Kennedy. (Or literally the whole album.)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family. - Close, open-minded, strong, supporting. (I love them!)

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it? - Yes. Her name is Iris and we’ve know each other for 9 years already and I love her so so much! 

Begonia: Favorite color? - Blue.

Bellflower: Favorite animal? - Horses.

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person? - Night person.

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be? - Eagle.

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? - Veterinarian. 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children? - I’m not a big fan of children but if a child smiles at me, you sure as hell can bet that I’d smile right back at them.

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why? - Losing loved ones, well it’s self-explaining.

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood. - It really was a safe and carefree childhood and I had everything and everyone I needed.

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth? - Hiking to my favorite place and reading my favorite book.

Buttercup: Relationship Status? - Single.

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go? - New Zealand.

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved? - Whenever I’m with people who love and accept me the way I am.

Canna: Do you have any tattoos? - Nope.

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings? - No.  

California Poppy: Height? - 5′9″.

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts? - Yes.

Carnation: What are you currently wearing? - Just a t-shirt.

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight? - Yes, as a child.

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged? - My sister.

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed? - Someone I don’t want to kiss again.

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font? - Don’t really have one.

Columbine: Are you tired? - Kinda.

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to? - Winter.

Coneflower: Dream job? - My job right now.

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert? - Inbetweenie.

Crocus: Have you ever been in love? - Yes.

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about? - Far FAR and beyond.

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it? - Yes, a white tiger.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign? - Cancer.

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering? - I don’t think so..

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment? - Being myself and self-confident.

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)? - Well I never thought about that haha.

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to? - To someone I don’t want to be reminded about.

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at? - Listening.

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at? - Opening up.

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month? - I found out what I want, I had some time for myself and I’ve been with one of my best friends for a few days.

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today? - Okay, I’d say.

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life? - Kind of, not fully.

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two? - Traveling more.

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life? - My friends, my family, my pets, music, books, especially Sebastian Fitzek’s books haha, health, traveling, cinematography and my home.

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? - Watching HIMYM.

Hellebore: How do you show affection? - By listening to people.

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of? - My family.

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day. - Waking up late, getting some breakfast, drinking tea and reading a good book, probably napping haha, some more reading, going for a walk and back to bed again.

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time? - Sleeping, going to the movies, reading and traveling.

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them? - 9 years. I’ve met her in school.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything? - @uneven-odds. <3

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have? - If I do count really close and good friends, around 10.

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? - That I’m the kindest and funniest person they’ve ever met. It shocked me tbh.

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself? - I’m too stubborn and that I can’t really show my emotions.

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself? - My patience. 

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself? - The fact that I’m too much of a perfectionist sometimes.

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child? - Race against my dad.

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid? - A girl called Tamara.

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for? - Not being there for one of my friends when he needed me..

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about? - Loving the person I loved.

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name? - So I googled it and it means “the anointed one”. My mum and dad named me after my mum’s brother, his name is Christian. My mum loves him so much, that I got this name, well the feminine form.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it. - In a suburbia. It’s very small but I love it here. I do love Vienna and it’s not that far away. But here in this small town is where I feel most comfortable.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up? - Big, full of wood furniture and toys and a few posters of the Backstreet Boys.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years? - I did not really enjoy my teenage years at first. But I’ve always been grumpy about everything. That has changed through the years and I had happier teenage years later on.

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom. - I love her and she is one of the toughest women I know. I’m sad that she feels left out that often and that I can’t really give and show her the credit she deserves. Because she deserves the world, really.

Onions: Tell about your dad. - My dad is the best dad. Even after he and my mom got divorced he’s always been there for us. And he did everything he could for us to be happy. I’m very thankful for that.

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents. - When I think about them I almost every time start crying. They’re in their 70s now and I’m constantly worried that I’d loose them. They’re 2 of the greatest people in the whole world - they deserve the whole world. And if I ever feel annoyed by them I do cry a few hours later. I love them so much. Sometimes I wish I could die before they do so I don’t have to feel the pain of losing them..

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable? - My most memorable birthday was on my 11th birthday with my best friends and cousins. It’s been so carefree and full of laughter.

Peony: What was your first job? - My first job was the job I’m doing right now.

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any? - I don’t have a special plan on how I want to meet my future partner. If it happens, it happens.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain? - I don’t. It sounds hard but I just ignore it until it get’s too much and then it literally bursts out and I can’t stop crying for literally 5 hours or so.

Pink: Where is home? - Wherever the people I love are.

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change? - I’d stop the cancer that killed my half-sisters mother.. she’s been like a second mom to me.

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them. - My dad. He literally had no one who supported him when he was younger but he somehow managed to build his life and stand on his own two feet. He managed to give the love he never received from anyone before, to my sisters and me and I really admire him for that.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life. - Carefree and happy.

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child? - Elves.

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life? - My sisters.

Rose: What’s your favorite sound? - The sound of people’s genuine laughter.

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory? - One night in Berlin with @uneven-odds. (That sounds so wrong, but you know which one I mean haha. <3)

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory? - My “second” mom dying.

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want? - Inner peace.

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things? - It’s very difficult for me because I rarely open up, not even to my closest friends.

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without? - My family.

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night? - Around 7 hours.

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning? - Work.

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job? - I love it.

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing? - My yellow trench coat.

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic. - My aesthetics are always plants and books.

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you? - Books.

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now? - My future.

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called? - None because I’ve been too busy to read.

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year? - At the same place but a little happier.

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is? - If it’s from the Latin word “vorare”, it means “to swallow” as far as I can remember but idk really haha.

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself. - I love doing my nails. Ok, that was really random haha.

[eldritchsurveys]

455.

Do you love anyone who's name starts with A? >> No.

When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug? >> ---

Who is the last person that made you smile? >> I don’t remember. I just woke up like 2 hours ago, I haven’t even seen anyone.

Do you lose interest in someone easily? >> Yeah.

Who was the last person you flirted with? >> ---

Are you dating the last person you kissed? >> I don’t “date”.

Has anyone ever asked you if you were bi polar? >> No, but I was misdiagnosed as such as a teenager.

When is the last time you cried? >> A couple of nights ago, because the neighbours woke me up at 3am with whatever the fuck they were doing outside and I was so tired and frustrated.

How many people have you given your heart to? >> LOL

Who is the last person that disappointed you? >> Meh.

What's one thing in your life that you wish you could change? >> ---

Do you fall in love easily? >> No.

Do you still talk to the person you fell the hardest for? >> ---

Have you ever liked someone you didn't expect to? >> No.

Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers? >> No. If I was afraid of that, I would post privately. Tumblr does have that option.

Are you trying to avoid liking/loving somebody at the moment? >> No. I don’t even understand that.

Is there someone that you miss right now? >> No.

Have you ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? >> No.

Do you and your last ex hate each other? >> I don’t hate him.

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not? >> No.

Do you think that people are trustworthy? >> I think some are and some aren’t. I also think some are in some areas but are not in other areas. Regardless, I prefer to play my cards close to my chest no matter what.

How many best friends have you had through out you life? >> ---

Who's the last person that slept over your house? >> ---

Have you ever regretted kissing someone? >> Yeah.

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life? >> I assume so, because that’s kind of just how shit works.

Has anyone ever made a difference in yours? >> Yeah.

Is someone on your mind right now? >> No.

Are you too forgiving? >> No.

Do you want someone you can't have? >> No.

Is your last ex still someone you care about? >> No.

How do you feel about your life right now? >> It’s pretty all right. I have no major complaints.

Has someone put their arm around you in the past five days? >> Inworld, yeah.

What'​​​s one thing ​you do when you're mad? >> Something completely unrelated to why I’m mad, so I can get over it.

Do you tend to fall for players? >> No.

Do you know anyone who has been arrested? >> Yeah.

Did the last person you kiss have tattoos? >> Yeah.

Are you currently sad about anything? >> No.

Do you pray to God often? >> I don’t pray to God.

How would you feel if your last ex fell in love with someone else? >> I wouldn’t feel anything. I probably wouldn’t even know about it.

Who was the last person who left your life and hurt you? >> Meh.

Do you know anyone who died of breast cancer? >> No.

How long does it take you to get over someone? >> It depends on what kind of connection I had with them. But even then, not terribly long. Not anymore.

Are your parents strict? >> ---

What are you afraid of? >> Meh.

Do people often disappoint you? >> No. Expectations would be required for that to happen.

Did you wake up in a good mood this morning? >> I woke up in a kinda bleh mood because of this damn weather, but it wasn’t a terrible mood or anything.

Are you a good liar? >> I could be.

Do you have any mental disorders? >> I don’t know.

Which one of your friends is the funniest? >> ---

Would you ever forgive your boyfriend/girlfriend for cheating on you? >> It’s not possible to cheat on me.

Are you depressed right now? >> No.

What's the worst thing about your personality? >> I don’t know. I don’t think of my personality like that.

Is there at least one ex boyfriend/girlfriend you can trust? >> No.

Are you picky about who you date? >> I don’t date.

Did you like anyone last summer? >> ---

Have you ever liked someone that all your friends hated? >> No.

Is there anyone that your texting right now? >> No.

Who was the last person that made you upset/angry? >> I don’t remember.

Do you honestly like the person you are? >> Sure.

Have you done many bad things in life? >> Eh, not too many.

Have you ever been arrested? >> No.

Who's your best friend right now? >> ---

Have your parents ever said they were disappointed in you? >> Probably.

Is there a key to your heart? >> No.

Has anyone ever stabbed you in the back? >> No.

Have you ever been called a slut? >> Maybe.

What's the most important thing in a relationship? >> I don’t know. Trust, I guess, of some sort.

Would you date someone 8 years older than you? >> ---

Have you ever broken someone's heart? >> Probably.

Have you ever kissed someone that was the same sex as you? >> Yeah.

What's worrying you right now? >> Nothing.

Do you believe in God? >> I don’t believe or disbelieve. That particular god is just irrelevant to my life.

Does it bother you if someone doesn't like you? >> No.

Would you ever take someone back after they've cheated? >> ---

Do you miss any of your old friends? >> Sometimes, but not in a way that makes me want them back in my life.

Have you ever been used before? >> Probably.

Where is the person you gave your heart to for the first time? >> ---

Do you believe that there's good in everybody? >> I don’t really think of people that way, as “good” or “bad” or whatever.

Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of the year? >> No.

Is there someone you will never forget? >> Maybe, but forgetfulness is not something that I can really control (especially if degenerative diseases get involved) so I wouldn’t know.

Has anyone ever written a song for you? >> No.

Does it annoy you when people play dumb? >> I don’t really experience that often.

If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be? >> I am marrying the last person I texted, and my name is going to remain the same.

Are you confused about anything? >> I mean, sure. But not at this exact moment.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? >> Sure.

Are you a jealous person? >> No.

Do you think you could you handle being in the military? >> No. I don’t even listen to my own orders half the time.

Would you ever quit a bad habit for someone? >> Not for them, for myself. But I might use them as a motivating factor.

When was the last time you gave your number to someone? >> ---

Have you thought about an ex today? >> Yeah, because surveys ask about that sort of thing a lot for some ass reason.

Who was the last person to compliment you? >> I don’t remember.

Are you a social butterfly or a loner? >> More on the loner side of the spectrum than the social butterfly side.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? >> Yeah.

Do you ever think about stuff and start crying? >> Not usually, unless I’m already in a shit mood.

Are you keeping a big secret right now? >> No.

Have you ever walked on the beach at night? >> I’ve been to Coney Island and Brighton Beach at night.

Have you noticed that it's mostly girls who post bulletin surveys? >> Yeah, so?

When was the last time you felt alone? >> I don’t know. I mean, I often feel like that but it’s a low-grade kind of feeling, like the sound of distant traffic.

Do you want to be famous someday? >> No.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? >> Sure, just not necessarily from me.

Are you good at hiding your feelings? >> I think I am.

Are there currently any stressful situations in your life? >> No.

Who is the last person that said you were sexy? >> I don’t know.

Did you kiss anyone tonight? >> Tonight hasn’t happened yet.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? >> Can Calah.

At what age would you most like to get married? >> ---

How often do you type ''<3'? >> Rarely.

What if your ex found out you fell in love with another person? >> Dude.

When was the last time your mom yelled at you? >> ---

Do you trust all your friends? >> ---

Do you believe your latest ex thinks about you? >> I mean, he takes surveys and surveys keep asking about exes, so....... lmao

Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life >> I would really, really, really hate to lose Can Calah. But if I did lose him, I’m pretty sure it’s because of something neither of us could control, not him “walking out of my life”.

Do you laugh a lot? >> I don’t know. What’s a lot?

Anyone say they want to be with you forever? >> Sure. That’s just a thing people say for ~teh roamance~, innit?

Could you ever be friends again with someone that broke your heart? >> ---

Do you want your ex to be happy, even if it means not being with you? >> I mean, sure. I don’t wish unhappiness on him or anything.

Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? >> No.

Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you? >> No.

When's the last time you were surprised? >> I went to grab the doorknob to my bedroom last night and there was a pair of socks on it. Sparrow had bought them at Meijer for me.

If an ex said they hated you, what would you say? >> Nothing? Like, why are they telling me, lmao, I don’t care.

When was the last time you were drunk? >> I don’t remember.

Ever taken a picture kissing someone? >> Probably.

Are you giving up on anyone/ anything? >> No.

Is there anyone you wouldn't mind punching at the moment? >> Not unless it was for fun.

Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life? >> Why would I want to be friends with anyone who hurt me that much? I could instead be friends with people who don’t.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? >> ---

What's something new you recently learned about yourself? >> I don’t remember.

Do your feelings get hurt easily? >> Nope.

If you see a girl with big boobs, do you automatically think shes a slut? >> What the fuck.

Why did you last cry? >> I could have sworn I talked about that on this survey already.

Would you want to know the date of your death? >> No.

Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? >> No.

Would you prefer a baby girl or boy? >> ---

Are you feeling guilty about anything right now? >> No.

Are you anyone's first love? >> IDFK.

Would you care if your best friend cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend? >> ---

Whats the last thing you lied about? >> I don’t know.

How old were you when you had your first relationship? >> Meh.

What was on your mind mostly today? >> Nothing specific.

Are you in love with anyone at the moment? >> No.

Have you ever been heartbroken? >> Yeah.

Who is the last person you texted? >> Sparrow.

Who do you trust with your life? >> Can Calah.

Are you very family oriented? >> No.

Are you afraid of falling in love? >> No.

Isn't it annoying when an ex doesn't leave you alone? >> That doesn’t happen to me, but I’d definitely find that annoying if it did.

Who's the last person you told I love you to? >> IDK.

Do you believe that it's best to have a friendship first and then love? >> ---

Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person? >> Nope.

Are you happy with your life right now? >> Sure.