#finding my way

[rainyfestivalsweets]

Weekend photo dump.

Balance means:

Active lifestyle - kayaking and workout 2 of c25k

Lots of veggies- ordered zoodles at restaurant.

Shared appetizers.

Cold.stone ice cream treat- tried the silk almond ice cream.

A delicious watermelon 🍉

My thought was: every choice matters.

Enjoyment matters too.... every choice, every day will make a difference.

[mansorus]

You can’t be scared to do what needs to be done take care of yourself

Get them pockets Swoll and put on for the ones you genuinely love 💰💎🧭🏔️💐

[yousta]

I'm not scared of love

I open up and if it's not enough

I don't reminise a swing like I'd miss,

Cause in the heart is art

when everyone else won't let it out, or wonder what's the art about?

I'm down here on earth, wondering what's it worth

but you could say the planets collide

when your spaceships arrived

I cried cause I got everything I wanted.

Eyes cute and wide

I'd show you heart till I've tried

I try when it feels right,

It's still like the night,

how you shine bright.

Despite being at cold night

to where I couldn't hang tight

in your warmth I'm curled,

I will make this our world 

[killthemwithkindness1122]

I hope you find the strenght to heal your soul, your inner wounds, your inner child, that is screaming for your love and attention.

I m wishing you so much healing and awareness. Awareness about the power of love. About the power of selflove. The only key to a healthy life including healthy relationships.

Please fight your demons, please do not turn into coldhearted behaviour, please distance yourself from warm hearted human beings, if you‘re emotionally unavailable. Please, please just don‘t hurt anyone.

No one, but you can heal and save yourself. No one else is able to do that for you, no matter how much love and affection they give. That‘s the painful part. But besides the pain… thank you for reflecting my own shadows and for forcing me into my boundaries, but also for the intense moments of ecstasy and… the continued push into my self-love. I pray for you and wish you a life full of love and happiness. With all my soul. With all my heart. Even though you nearly broke it. // Goodbye, my almost Lover.

[riebreads]

[downthefandomholewithaya]

Getting back into the groove of being Aya.

I am sitting here trying organize the words that are a jumble in my head. Trying to write out the emotions of what I've been feeling and dealing with. It's coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my father's passing. The day I became a parent-less adult. Not an orphan, as I have been called, or heard others in my situation be called. This label doesn't sit right with me. I haven't been abandoned and their passing wasn't a surprise. I'm not a child, unable to marshal my own resources. I'm an adult who needed help and support. Who needed a shoulder to cry on. And people who gave me grace when my was graceless. As I look at the possible breath of life before me, I don't feel abandoned, just that their lives, in the inevitable way it does, moved on in a different direction. I know that at some point I will see them again, and from time to time in my dreams I still do. When that time comes, maybe, they would have been given the resources to heal the traumas that still burdened them when they passed. Maybe I am just projecting. I won't know until I see them again. I look forward to it, but am also in no rush. Instead, I am doing my best to learn from what I saw, and to heal the trauma I hold and it's taken my body months to finally come down from the state of high alert I operated in. I want to get back to producing my podcast and look forward to all the amazing people I'll get to meet. And I want to go out and find a job that matters and I can grow in and meet more new people. Maybe, even someone to share this new chapter of my life with. I don't know, but I look forward to it, and it has taken me almost a year to feel this way again, to truly feel it, in my bones, and not just as a reminder to keep moving forward and taking life one day at a time.

[lilredhaze72]

[psychicuniiverse]

Everything that shines isn't gold. Every one thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive. Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy. You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it’s better to listen to what it has to say. Never stop being a good person because of bad people. The broken will always be able to love harder than most. Once you've been in the dark, you learn to appreciate everything that shines.

[disassociativesaddiebaddie]

Fuck anyone who says crystals don't work, ever since I started wearing Rose Quartz and Angelite, I have been more in tune with my inner workings, I finally allowed myself to grieve for things I couldn't change, I finally saw myself through others eyes, just a girl trying her best to make it through this beautiful hell of a world. I know I am enough and always have been, I just had a film over my eyes, blinding me to what was right before me. I am more than an object or a convenience. I am me and I am beautiful.

[sensaationaal]

Returning to tumblr after 10 years>>>>

[mansorus]

A peek at what my notifications be looking like…. You feel me 👀👀👀🫳🏾🫴🏾

🧭🏔️

[asteroidgalore]

Ceres (1) is the capacity to nurture. The pain of ceres is felt deepest when the opportunity to nurture is denied and one is unsure of the state of that which needs nurturing. It’s a feeling a helplessness without the ability to change it. It’s about having that which you love and are the protector of ripped away from you and the worry, hate, regret, and hopelessness that results from it. To be overpowered and have the most vulnerable piece of you taken without the power to stop it. Men working against a woman to get what they want despite anything else involved. That’s why she’s a lesbian.

On another end of the spectrum and a less obvious Ceres issue is HAVING to become independent a little too early. That is having your nurturer taken from you and the adjustments and pain one goes through if that happened or happens.

These Asteroid Goddesses are the hurt aspects of Lilith. Not the glorified sexuality that is so mainstream and aired out that it’s almost boring. They’re the pieces that seem to never get acknowledged. The essential pieces that are necessary to understand the dark feminine before ever attempting to truly embody her.

Lilith being stuck and tormented with anger and all the hurt pieces that hurt so bad without the ability or knowledge of them is how the patriarchy oppresses the truth.

[90shouseboat]

I’m walking home from work and it’s been

Six months since I’ve seen my home and

I’m finding my way

I’m finding my way

Six months alone at sea

With nothing but memory

I’m finding my way

I’m finding my way

Six months out at sea

That time weighs on me

I carry it alone

While rocked into a dream

Something to do with you and me

I’m finding my way

I’m finding my way

I’m walking home from work and it’s been

Six months since I’ve seen my home

That time weighs on me, I carry it alone

Working my hands to the bone

With nothing for company

Except an old photo of you and me

And I may have lost myself but

I’m finding my way

I’m finding my way

[not-a-zen-master]

Negative Self-Talk

This is a very bad habit of mine. Instant reactions to anything that is not “perfect”.

“I’ll never win.”

“I hate my life.”

“I hate this place.”

“I hate my job.”

“I’m so tired.” << I’ve actually said this the moment I woke up in the morning!

It’s so odd that deep down I know that these statements are both self-defeating and untrue. But, they’ve become default responses to almost everything in my life.

I have a daily goal now to stop these thoughts, and replace them. Just stop, take a breath and think… what is true in this moment? What is good? If nothing is good, what can I do right now to make things better? If I can do nothing, then what is wrong with just accepting the reality of this moment? That in itself, the acceptance of this moment, IS a good thing!

Maybe I will start writing on here twice a day. Gratitude and goals in the morning, a summary of my day in the evening. I feel better already!

[outwardlyme]

[writingsbynh]

The Middle

Im in a place

Not sure where

I can’t see the front

And only a little of the past

I’m not sure where I’m at

Have I just gone past the beginning?

Or am I nearing the end?

All I know is this is somewhere

Somewhere in the middle

- 𝑵𝑯

𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑝 𝑎 𝑠𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑟? 𝙍𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜, 𝙛𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩!