#Car Park Design Services

[mcmansionhell]

we've found it folks: mcmansion heaven

Hello everyone. It is my pleasure to bring you the greatest house I have ever seen. The house of a true visionary. A real ad-hocist. A genuine pioneer of fenestration. This house is in Alabama. It was built in 1980 and costs around $5 million. It is worth every penny. Perhaps more.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Come on, Kate, that's a little kooky, but certainly it's not McMansion Heaven. This is very much a house in the earthly realm. Purgatory. McMansion Purgatory." Well, let me now play Beatrice to your Dante, young Pilgrim. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

It is rare to find a house that has everything. A house that wills itself into Postmodernism yet remains unable to let go of the kookiest moments of the prior zeitgeist, the Bruce Goffs and Earthships, the commune houses built from car windshields, the seventies moments of psychedelic hippie fracture. It is everything. It has everything. It is theme park, it is High Tech. It is Renaissance (in the San Antonio Riverwalk sense of the word.) It is medieval. It is maybe the greatest pastiche to sucker itself to the side of a mountain, perilously overlooking a large body of water. Look at it. Just look.

The inside is white. This makes it dreamlike, almost benevolent. It is bright because this is McMansion Heaven and Gray is for McMansion Hell. There is an overbearing sheen of 80s optimism. In this house, the credit default swap has not yet been invented, but could be.

It takes a lot for me to drop the cocaine word because I think it's a cheap joke. But there's something about this example that makes it plausible, not in a derogatory way, but in a liberatory one, a sensuous one. Someone created this house to have a particular experience, a particular feeling. It possesses an element of true fantasy, the thematic. Its rooms are not meant to be one cohesive composition, but rather a series of scenes, of vastly different spatial moments, compressed, expanded, bright, close.

And then there's this kitchen for some reason. Or so you think. Everything the interior design tries to hide, namely how unceasingly peculiar the house is, it is not entirely able to because the choices made here remain decadent, indulgent, albeit in a more familiar way.

Rare is it to discover an interior wherein one truly must wear sunglasses. The environment created in service to transparency has to somewhat prevent the elements from penetrating too deep while retaining their desirable qualities. I don't think an architect designed this house. An architect would have had access to specifically engineered products for this purpose. Whoever built this house had certain access to architectural catalogues but not those used in the highest end or most structurally complex projects. The customization here lies in the assemblage of materials and in doing so stretches them to the height of their imaginative capacity. To borrow from Charles Jencks, ad-hoc is a perfect description. It is an architecture of availability and of adventure.

A small interlude. We are outside. There is no rear exterior view of this house because it would be impossible to get one from the scrawny lawn that lies at its depths. This space is intended to serve the same purpose, which is to look upon the house itself as much as gaze from the house to the world beyond.

Living in a city, I often think about exhibitionism. Living in a city is inherently exhibitionist. A house is a permeable visible surface; it is entirely possible that someone will catch a glimpse of me they're not supposed to when I rush to the living room in only a t-shirt to turn out the light before bed. But this is a space that is only exhibitionist in the sense that it is an architecture of exposure, and yet this exposure would not be possible without the protection of the site, of the distance from every other pair of eyes. In this respect, a double freedom is secured. The window intimates the potential of seeing. But no one sees.

At the heart of this house lies a strange mix of concepts. Postmodern classicist columns of the Disney World set. The unpolished edge of the vernacular. There is also an organicist bent to the whole thing, something more Goff than Gaudí, and here we see some of the house's most organic forms, the monolith- or shell-like vanity mixed with the luminous artifice of mirrors and white. A backlit cave, primitive and performative at the same time, which is, in essence, the dialectic of the luxury bathroom.

And yet our McMansion Heaven is still a McMansion. It is still an accumulation of deliberate signifiers of wealth, very much a construction with the secondary purpose of invoking envy, a palatial residence designed without much cohesion. The presence of golf, of wood, of masculine and patriarchal symbolism with an undercurrent of luxury drives that point home. The McMansion can aspire to an art form, but there are still many levels to ascend before one gets to where God's sitting.

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams.

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! Student loans just started back up!

[fremulon]

Crowley was rather proud of the Employee Hellpline. There had been a contest, about twenty years back, to create the most confusing phone structure possible, and Crowley had won. (He'd got inspired by calling up a telecom company to cancel service. Despite the fact that he'd made the call without an account, he'd left having agreed to a phone/television/Internet bundle and two magazine subscriptions.)

What he’d forgotten was the fact that he was an Employee, and thus had to navigate the labyrinthine obscurity of the Hellpline every time he needed to put in a request for a little extra power or office supplies. Fortunately, he didn't tend to make many calls; unfortunately, this meant that any insight he gained into the pattern had generally evaporated by the next time he had to face it.

Which was how he came to be sitting in his car, twenty minutes late for lunch, being informed in a monotone that he’d better listen carefully to the following menu, as options might have changed.

“For complaints about colleagues, press 1. For complaints colleagues made about you, press 2. For accounts payable, press 3, then 8, then turn the phone around and repeat. For accounts receivable, enter your ID in reverse. For all other financial requests, spell the first 10 pages of the Bee Movie script using your keypad. For—”

There was a knock at the window. “Are you quite all right?” Aziraphale said.

Crowley rolled the window down, half-listening to the phone menu. “Sorry I’m late—”

“You weren’t late. You drove up twenty-five minutes ago and took the ‘Reserved for Customers of AZ Fell & Co’ spot. So no actual customers have been able to park here this entire time. Which is dreadful,” Aziraphale added happily. 

“This concludes the menu. Make your selection in the next four seconds or this call will be terminated. Four…three…” Crowley racked his brains attempting to remember whether accounts payable was 8, then 3, or— “Good-bye,” the voice said, with gloomy satisfaction, and hung up.

“Ahhh, sanctify it.”

“What?”

“I’m trying to get this reimbursement through. I had to buy eighty live bats for this work thing, and apparently that kind of order can’t go through the normal process. So I’m on the Hellpline. But this consecrated phone—”

“Didn’t you design the system?”

“Might’ve done.”

“May I?” 

Crowley hit Redial and placed the phone in Aziraphale’s outstretched hand.

Aziraphale listened thoughtfully to the first list of menu options, then tapped the phone. He listened a bit longer, tapped twice more, said, “Mammal, not otherwise specified,” and handed it back. 

A voice crackled in Crowley's ear. “Accounts payable, living creatures from twoscore to nine dozen. How can I hinder you today?”

“One sec,” Crowley said, and moved the phone away. “How’d you do that?”

“It was yours, wasn’t it?” 

“Yeah.”

“I suppose I simply know how to thwart you,” said Aziraphale smugly. “Go on,” he said, nodding at the phone as he got in the car. “We’re late.”

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Cleantech has an enshittification problem

On July 14, I'm giving the closing keynote for the fifteenth HACKERS ON PLANET EARTH, in QUEENS, NY. Happy Bastille Day! On July 20, I'm appearing in CHICAGO at Exile in Bookville.

EVs won't save the planet. Ultimately, the material bill for billions of individual vehicles and the unavoidable geometry of more cars-more traffic-more roads-greater distances-more cars dictate that the future of our cities and planet requires public transit – lots of it.

But no matter how much public transit we install, there's always going to be some personal vehicles on the road, and not just bikes, ebikes and scooters. Between deliveries, accessibility, and stubbornly low-density regions, there's going to be a lot of cars, vans and trucks on the road for the foreseeable future, and these should be electric.

Beyond that irreducible minimum of personal vehicles, there's the fact that individuals can't install their own public transit system; in places that lack the political will or means to create working transit, EVs are a way for people to significantly reduce their personal emissions.

In policy circles, EV adoption is treated as a logistical and financial issue, so governments have focused on making EVs affordable and increasing the density of charging stations. As an EV owner, I can affirm that affordability and logistics were important concerns when we were shopping for a car.

But there's a third EV problem that is almost entirely off policy radar: enshittification.

An EV is a rolling computer in a fancy case with a squishy person inside of it. While this can sound scary, there are lots of cool implications for this. For example, your EV could download your local power company's tariff schedule and preferentially charge itself when the rates are lowest; they could also coordinate with the utility to reduce charging when loads are peaking. You can start them with your phone. Your repair technician can run extensive remote diagnostics on them and help you solve many problems from the road. New features can be delivered over the air.

That's just for starters, but there's so much more in the future. After all, the signal virtue of a digital computer is its flexibility. The only computer we know how to make is the Turing complete, universal, Von Neumann machine, which can run every valid program. If a feature is computationally tractable – from automated parallel parking to advanced collision prevention – it can run on a car.

The problem is that this digital flexibility presents a moral hazard to EV manufacturers. EVs are designed to make any kind of unauthorized, owner-selected modification into an IP rights violation ("IP" in this case is "any law that lets me control the conduct of my customers or competitors"):

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

EVs are also designed so that the manufacturer can unilaterally exert control over them or alter their operation. EVs – even more than conventional vehicles – are designed to be remotely killswitched in order to help manufacturers and dealers pressure people into paying their car notes on time:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

Manufacturers can reach into your car and change how much of your battery you can access:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world

They can lock your car and have it send its location to a repo man, then greet him by blinking its lights, honking its horn, and pulling out of its parking space:

https://tiremeetsroad.com/2021/03/18/tesla-allegedly-remotely-unlocks-model-3-owners-car-uses-smart-summon-to-help-repo-agent/

And of course, they can detect when you've asked independent mechanic to service your car and then punish you by degrading its functionality:

https://www.repairerdrivennews.com/2024/06/26/two-of-eight-claims-in-tesla-anti-trust-lawsuit-will-move-forward/

This is "twiddling" – unilaterally and irreversibly altering the functionality of a product or service, secure in the knowledge that IP law will prevent anyone from twiddling back by restoring the gadget to a preferred configuration:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

The thing is, for an EV, twiddling is the best case scenario. As bad as it is for the company that made your EV to change how it works whenever they feel like picking your pocket, that's infinitely preferable to the manufacturer going bankrupt and bricking your car.

That's what just happened to owners of Fisker EVs, cars that cost $40-70k. Cars are long-term purchases. An EV should last 12-20 years, or even longer if you pay to swap the battery pack. Fisker was founded in 2016 and shipped its first Ocean SUV in 2023. The company is now bankrupt:

https://insideevs.com/news/723669/fisker-inc-bankruptcy-chapter-11-official/

Fisker called its vehicles "software-based cars" and they weren't kidding. Without continuous software updates and server access, those Fisker Ocean SUVs are turning into bricks. What's more, the company designed the car from the ground up to make any kind of independent service and support into a felony, by wrapping the whole thing in overlapping layers of IP. That means that no one can step in with a module that jailbreaks the Fisker and drops in an alternative firmware that will keep the fleet rolling.

This is the third EV risk – not just finance, not just charger infrastructure, but the possibility that any whizzy, cool new EV company will go bust and brick your $70k cleantech investment, irreversibly transforming your car into 5,500 lb worth of e-waste.

This confers a huge advantage onto the big automakers like VW, Kia, Ford, etc. Tesla gets a pass, too, because it achieved critical mass before people started to wise up to the risk of twiddling and bricking. If you're making a serious investment in a product you expect to use for 20 years, are you really gonna buy it from a two-year old startup with six months' capital in the bank?

The incumbency advantage here means that the big automakers won't have any reason to sink a lot of money into R&D, because they won't have to worry about hungry startups with cool new ideas eating their lunches. They can maintain the cozy cartel that has seen cars stagnate for decades, with the majority of "innovation" taking the form of shitty, extractive and ill-starred ideas like touchscreen controls and an accelerator pedal that you have to rent by the month:

https://www.theverge.com/2022/11/23/23474969/mercedes-car-subscription-faster-acceleration-feature-price

Put that way, it's clear that this isn't an EV problem, it's a cleantech problem. Cleantech has all the problems of EVs: it requires a large capital expenditure, it will be "smart," and it is expected to last for decades. That's rooftop solar, heat-pumps, smart thermostat sensor arrays, and home storage batteries.

And just as with EVs, policymakers have focused on infrastructure and affordability without paying any attention to the enshittification risks. Your rooftop solar will likely be controlled via a Solaredge box – a terrible technology that stops working if it can't reach the internet for a protracted period (that's right, your home solar stops working if the grid fails!).

I found this out the hard way during the covid lockdowns, when Solaredge terminated its 3G cellular contract and notified me that I would have to replace the modem in my system or it would stop working. This was at the height of the supply-chain crisis and there was a long waiting list for any replacement modems, with wifi cards (that used your home internet rather than a cellular connection) completely sold out for most of a year.

There are good reasons to connect rooftop solar arrays to the internet – it's not just so that Solaredge can enshittify my service. Solar arrays that coordinate with the grid can make it much easier and safer to manage a grid that was designed for centralized power production and is being retrofitted for distributed generation, one roof at a time.

But when the imperatives of extraction and efficiency go to war, extraction always wins. After all, the Solaredge system is already in place and solar installers are largely ignorant of, and indifferent to, the reasons that a homeowner might want to directly control and monitor their system via local controls that don't roundtrip through the cloud.

Somewhere in the hindbrain of any prospective solar purchaser is the experience with bricked and enshittified "smart" gadgets, and the knowledge that anything they buy from a cool startup with lots of great ideas for improving production, monitoring, and/or costs poses the risk of having your 20 year investment bricked after just a few years – and, thanks to the extractive imperative, no one will be able to step in and restore your ex-solar array to good working order.

I make the majority of my living from books, which means that my pay is very "lumpy" – I get large sums when I publish a book and very little in between. For many years, I've used these payments to make big purchases, rather than financing them over long periods where I can't predict my income. We've used my book payments to put in solar, then an induction stove, then a battery. We used one to buy out the lease on our EV. And just a month ago, we used the money from my upcoming Enshittification book to put in a heat pump (with enough left over to pay for a pair of long-overdue cataract surgeries, scheduled for the fall).

When we started shopping for heat pumps, it was clear that this was a very exciting sector. First of all, heat pumps are kind of magic, so efficient and effective it's almost surreal. But beyond the basic tech – which has been around since the late 1940s – there is a vast ferment of cool digital features coming from exciting and innovative startups.

By nature, I'm the kid of person who likes these digital features. I started out as a computer programmer, and while I haven't written production code since the previous millennium, I've been in and around the tech industry for my whole adult life. But when it came time to buy a heat-pump – an investment that I expected to last for 20 years or more – there was no way I was going to buy one of these cool new digitally enhanced pumps, no matter how much the reviewers loved them. Sure, they'd work well, but it's precisely because I'm so knowledgeable about high tech that I could see that they would fail very, very badly.

You may think EVs are bullshit, and they are – though there will always be room for some personal vehicles, and it's better for people in transit deserts to drive EVs than gas-guzzlers. You may think rooftop solar is a dead-end and be all-in on utility scale solar (I think we need both, especially given the grid-disrupting extreme climate events on our horizon). But there's still a wide range of cleantech – induction tops, heat pumps, smart thermostats – that are capital intensive, have a long duty cycle, and have good reasons to be digitized and networked.

Take home storage batteries: your utility can push its rate card to your battery every time they change their prices, and your battery can use that information to decide when to let your house tap into the grid, and when to switch over to powering your home with the solar you've stored up during the day. This is a very old and proven pattern in tech: the old Fidonet BBS network used a version of this, with each BBS timing its calls to other nodes to coincide with the cheapest long-distance rates, so that messages for distant systems could be passed on:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FidoNet

Cleantech is a very dynamic sector, even if its triumphs are largely unheralded. There's a quiet revolution underway in generation, storage and transmission of renewable power, and a complimentary revolution in power-consumption in vehicles and homes:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/12/s-curve/#anything-that-cant-go-on-forever-eventually-stops

But cleantech is too important to leave to the incumbents, who are addicted to enshittification and planned obsolescence. These giant, financialized firms lack the discipline and culture to make products that have the features – and cost savings – to make them appealing to the very wide range of buyers who must transition as soon as possible, for the sake of the very planet.

It's not enough for our policymakers to focus on financing and infrastructure barriers to cleantech adoption. We also need a policy-level response to enshittification.

Ideally, every cleantech device would be designed so that it was impossible to enshittify – which would also make it impossible to brick:

Based on free software (best), or with source code escrowed with a trustee who must release the code if the company enters administration (distant second-best);

All patents in a royalty-free patent-pool (best); or in a trust that will release them into a royalty-free pool if the company enters administration (distant second-best);

No parts-pairing or other DRM permitted (best); or with parts-pairing utilities available to all parties on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis (distant second-best);

All diagnostic and error codes in the public domain, with all codes in the clear within the device (best); or with decoding utilities available on demand to all comers on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis (distant second-best).

There's an obvious business objection to this: it will reduce investment in innovative cleantech because investors will perceive these restrictions as limits on the expected profits of their portfolio companies. It's true: these measures are designed to prevent rent-extraction and other enshittificatory practices by cleantech companies, and to the extent that investors are counting on enshittification rents, this might prevent them from investing.

But that has to be balanced against the way that a general prohibition on enshittificatory practices will inspire consumer confidence in innovative and novel cleantech products, because buyers will know that their investments will be protected over the whole expected lifespan of the product, even if the startup goes bust (nearly every startup goes bust). These measures mean that a company with a cool product will have a much larger customer-base to sell to. Those additional sales more than offset the loss of expected revenue from cheating and screwing your customers by twiddling them to death.

There's also an obvious legal objection to this: creating these policies will require a huge amount of action from Congress and the executive branch, a whole whack of new rules and laws to make them happen, and each will attract court-challenges.

That's also true, though it shouldn't stop us from trying to get legal reforms. As a matter of public policy, it's terrible and fucked up that companies can enshittify the things we buy and leave us with no remedy.

However, we don't have to wait for legal reform to make this work. We can take a shortcut with procurement – the things governments buy with public money. The feds, the states and localities buy a lot of cleantech: for public facilities, for public housing, for public use. Prudent public policy dictates that governments should refuse to buy any tech unless it is designed to be enshittification-resistant.

This is an old and honorable tradition in policymaking. Lincoln insisted that the rifles he bought for the Union Army come with interoperable tooling and ammo, for obvious reasons. No one wants to be the Commander in Chief who shows up on the battlefield and says, "Sorry, boys, war's postponed, our sole supplier decided to stop making ammunition."

By creating a market for enshittification-proof cleantech, governments can ensure that the public always has the option of buying an EV that can't be bricked even if the maker goes bust, a heat-pump whose digital features can be replaced or maintained by a third party of your choosing, a solar controller that coordinates with the grid in ways that serve their owners – not the manufacturers' shareholders.

We're going to have to change a lot to survive the coming years. Sure, there's a lot of scary ways that things can go wrong, but there's plenty about our world that should change, and plenty of ways those changes could be for the better. It's not enough for policymakers to focus on ensuring that we can afford to buy whatever badly thought-through, extractive tech the biggest companies want to foist on us – we also need a focus on making cleantech fit for purpose, truly smart, reliable and resilient.

Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/26/unplanned-obsolescence/#better-micetraps

Image: 臺灣古寫真上色 (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Raid_on_Kagi_City_1945.jpg

Grendelkhan (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ground_mounted_solar_panels.gk.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

[jammofsammichflip]

*°•_:JJK Headcanons:_•°*

;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;

!!!Fluff, ❌🍋(no smut)!!!

Featuring/Pairing: Itadori Yuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Kento Nanami, Inumaki Toge

(These are the (some) main people I absolutely know how to write for,

please give me ideas if you don't see someone/thing you'd like to see. <3)

*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::* °×•×°×•×°×•×°First Date°×•×°×•×°×•×°

Itadori Yuji: ° Your first date and 1 month' aversarry (1 month' anniversary) is gonna take place at a cat/pet cafe.

° No exeptions

° Itadori is gonna have a ball with you regardless of where your first date is, but he know how much you like cats/(other animals).

° All of his attention is on you as you take pictures of the animals and eat the cute food.

° He can barely take his eyes off of you <3

° He fell first and fell harder.

° He is the type of guy to bring you a bunch of unnecessary gifts (like Gojo) at random times

° Except his gifts are cuter and personalized (unlike Gojo)

° Love language is definitely Acts of Service and Quality Time

° He just loves seeing you happy and safe and that's all that really matters to him at this point.

° Honest to God, brags about how cute you are to anybody who'd listen: his friends, his teachers, your pets, somebody's child, random pictures YOU NAME IT

° Takes you to the movies afterwards (he looked for good movies with the help of Junpei (😭💕))

° Somehow ate 3 (full size) plates of food at the cafe before you had to ask him, "HOW DID YOU EAT ALL THAT? ARE YOU OJAY??? YUJI ITS BEEN 15 MINUTES SINCE WE SAT DOWNNN!!??!??!!"

° Gives you a soft kiss on the hand and then cheek once you get home

° Your name is filled with hearts and stars on his contacts bc it's cute

Fushiguro Megumi:

° He didn't know how much was too much so he took you for a cute park-picnic date

° He makes sure to bring lots of water and fresh fruit because its midday.

° He also brought (favorite cake flavor) to share <3

° Likes to look at all the dogs he sees and tell you everything he knows about them

° He blushes so hard when you compliment/flirt with him (if you dyed his hair he'd look like a damn tomato)

° (my headcanon) He talks about how he'd like to be a veterinarian when he gets older because he doesn't want animals to live the same life he lived at one point

° His point blank resting glare scares off anyone who tries to talk to the both of you

° Keeps getting the sneaking suspicion that Itadori, Nobara and Gojo are talking about him (he got really irritated at one point, that's how he knows)

° Has the cutest giggles when a bee lands near your nose

° Brings butterfly/dinosaur charms for you because he thinks you look cute when you talk about them.

° Leaves the picnic area better than he found it because he's just responsible like that

° Takes you too a pretty garden area where he gifts you (favorite flower)

° Kisses your hand goodbye (I faint)

° Told his classmates and teacher that the date was nice and nothing else (💀)

° Your contact has a picture he secretly took of you and thought was cute

Kento Nanami

° The epitome of class

° I swear he just keeps raising the damn bar

° Picks you up in the late afternoon/ evening

° Dinner at a nice restaurant (I think it's French/Louisianan cuisine)

° He bought a present for you because he saw it on the way to his car to pick you up

° A nice walk to set up for a good conversation

° He made sure that everything was so perfect, found a great path (walkable in flats/heels) that you can see the stars when you look up

° Calls you - My Lady - (see that capitalization?)

° Wanted to bust out in his singing voice when he heard MCR playing from somewhere (he's a diehard fan at heart and we all know it)

° Very excited to tell you about how much he likes bread (he prefers fresh made over store bought and loves to laugh at the silly designs on his sourdough)

° Almost choked on his spit when he thought he saw Satoru somewhere but it turned out to be flowers or sum.

° It was Satoru, he wanted to be a nosy bat and see what Nanami was doing since the couldn't annoy him today

° Very attentive to little details when you describe things things you (dis)like so he can be ready for future dates

° In his bag he definitely has chapstick, a notepad (he's so orderly), some mints and he made sure to pack a pair of slippers for you just in case your feet hurt at any point

° He's such a gentleman and he's so nice and respectful to the servers during dinner

° Makes sure to walk you to your door once he gets you home safely

° Puts a 💕 next to your name in his contacts.

° (Gojo is called 'The Annoying One 🤞😒' in his contacts, the only other one with emojis)

Inumaki Toge

° This chronically online ass mfker.

° He challenged you to a Fortnite battle

° It's a gaming date.

° So much mogging. You hit him with a 🗿🔥🐺 and he got quiet

° SALMONNN!!! 😭😭🙏

° POLLACK ROE 😤😡😤😤

° Rice 💕🥰😚😍

° MUSTARD LEAF¿¿‽‽!!¿??

° Then Super Smash Bros™

° Soon y'all we're laughing your asses off at the villager prisons on your newly created Minecraft server.

° The unhealthiest amount of junk food known to man kind

° I'm convinced he consumes Redbull and gummy bears like water and air.

° When a creep kept pressing you on the internet he took over as your big strong man (he's shorter than 5'9, I checked 💀😭)

° Legit kept calling himself The Skibidi Alpha Pack Leader™ and how much he want (the creep) to join his gang of Loners™

° Uses (🗿🙏🗣️🗿🌶️💬🥇📢🩼🎯🍃🐺🌘) religiously and unironically

° In all seriousness he does love you though. He's so glad he has someone he can laugh with and talk to (using text to speech- ofc it's set to Gigachad Voice)

° Absolutely the best at lifting you up when your sad because you humor has been marinated in the TikTok algorithm and is peak

° When he calls he uses facetime so you can see his reactions and his eyelashes that are always on fleek

° He passes little notes to you when he can't express his words through ingredients: "Your laugh is pretty <3",,, "That (game)skin is so cute, it goes well with your weapon",,, "Thank you for coming out with me, I like you a lot<333"

° Afterwards he gifts you little trinkets from when we was at the mall one time.

וװDid you like it?°×•× וװGot requests/recommendations?°×•×

*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*

[makeitmingi]

The Cat and Dog Game [Chapter 4]

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Yunho x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Chef!Reader, RestaurantOwner!Yunho, MaitreD!Hongjoong, Waiter!Yeosang, Waiter!San, Waiter!Mingi, SousChef!Seonghwa, SousChef!Wooyoung, PrepChef!Jongho

Summary: Yunho's dream was to open and run his own restaurant. But he doesn't know anything when it comes to cooking. Until you came along and accepted the job, bringing with you a small crew. How will the black cat tame the energetic golden retriever?

Word count: 3.2K

You were half asleep on Seonghwa's shoulder, on the way to the restaurant. Jongho was the designated driver for today, going around to pick everyone up before going to the restaurant.

"So, did you have fun last night? Getting to know the owner?" Wooyoung turned around from the passenger seat with a teasing smile. You shot him a weird look while Seonghwa kicked the back of his seat.

"I know you're older, hyung. But I will kick you out if you do that to my car again." Jongho threatened as he drove.

"We're here." He parked the car. You got out, pulling your hood up tiredly. Seonghwa quietly strolled beside you, his arms tucked into his coat pockets.

"Yunho gave me the passcode." You yawned and keyed in the passcode.

"He's not coming?" Seonghwa asked.

"Not this early. He looked tired yesterday and stressed out after trying to help me with the prep. Anyway, it'll be much faster with just 4 of us doing the prep and baking." You shrugged, opening the door.

"What did you guys make yesterday?" Wooyoung tilted his head while Jongho turned the lights on.

"Blackberry apple tuile in the dehydrator, made the shortcrust pastry for the tartlets and marinated the pork medalions for dinner service." You informed. All of you hung your coats up in the small storage room and got to work right away. With aprons on and tools laid out, you all knew what to do immediately.

"State what you're taking on so we can keep track of things." You called out, a sharpie in hand and a piece of paper in front of you.

"I'll get started on the red velvet cake batter so we can get it in the ovens and cooled in time for icing." Jongho said, heading into the walk in with a big bowl to gather ingredients.

"Guess that leaves me on the palmiers first." Wooyoung pulled his sleeves up.

"Shall I do the cheesecake?" Seonghwa asked. You nodded and crossed out the item on the list.

"I'll continue with the tartlets then. Speak up if you need help." You retrieved the base dough from the fridge and the mini tart shells to begin blind baking them.

When Yunho came in, about an hour after you, with Mingi, Hongjoong, Yeosang and San, they were all greeted with the amazing smell of sugar, butter and vanilla filling up the restaurant space.

"Damn, I'm hungry." Mingi said.

"I need them to sign the contracts." Yunho walked in with the manila folder tucked under his arm. The boys, except Hongjoong, curiously followed behind him, wanting to catch a glimpse of the crew that was behind the amazing smells.

"Good morning!" Yunho smiled. All 4 of you turned to the group at the door with acknowledging nods before focusing back on your own tasks in front of you.

"Sorry to interrupt. I have the contracts for all of you to sign." He cleared his throat.

"Sure." You all stopped momentarily to gather.

There was a moment of silence as the 4 of you read through the contract that Yunho gave out. Meanwhile, the other boys with Yunho were staring at you, the way you exuded coolness.

"Here's a pen." Yunho held out the pen to you. You were the first to sign. After that, Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Jongho followed suit.

Just like that, you handed the contracts back to Yunho and broke apart to your own areas of the kitchen.

"Yunho." You stopped the owner in his tracks. You nodded over to the main prep table in the middle and he walked over, tilting his head curiously. The other boys stood behind him. There was a tray that you brought over, with some red-purplish stuff on it. You lifted a piece to Yunho.

"Thank you but what is this?" He bowed his head gratefully but was still confused. You gestured for him to take a bite. He did and his eyes widened with excitement.

"Is this what we made yesterday?!" He beamed.

"Yes. Blackberry, apple tuile with thyme." You said. Yunho held the small piece between his fingers, like it was a piece of gold.

"Wow. I helped make this." He said in awe. You hummed, amused at how stunned Yunho was.

Yunho took your appearance in. You weren't just wearing an apron like yesterday, there were tweezers sticking out of pockets, a timer clipped to your sleeve and two towels hanging on the string.

"I'm (y/n). That's Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Jongho." You suddenly spoke, pointing to each person on your team that was busy.

"I'm Mingi. This is San and Yeosang." The other tall guy introduced. You figured they would be the wait staff.

"Excuse me. Hot tray coming through." Wooyoung said, taking a tray of palmiers out from the oven. The boys shrunk back behind Yunho, jumping out of the way. You turned back to focus on your tartlets, making the custard that will go under the strawberries.

"We'll be out of your way." Yunho quickly said, ushering his friends out. They were disappointed they were not offered any samples of food like Yunho was.

"My cakes are still in the oven but shall I start on the madeleines? We'll put them in once we have oven space." Jongho asked.

"Yes. Are you done with the cheesecakes, Hwa?"

"They're in the oven. I'm open now, do you need help with the tartlet assembly?" He walked over, drying his hands. You nodded and he laid everything out for you.

"Make the gelatin glaze?" You requested. It will be tart shell, with a thin layer of strawberry jam at the bottom, then vanilla custard over the top and a mix of fresh strawberries and basil on the top.

"Last batch of palmiers in." Wooyoung announced.

"Get started on the yuzu loaves please. We need them cooled for the drizzle." You replied. He gave a thumbs up. Meanwhile, San and Mingi have been peeking in, they were both mesmerised by the way you worked with your team. Mingi's parents owned a restaurant but he had never seen people who this way in a kitchen before.

"You two! We need to start setting up before opening." Hongjoong grabbed them by the back of their necks to drag them to the front counter where Yunho was.

"I'll be on coffee." Mingi said.

"I'll help you with that." San raised his hand. Hongjoong would be managing the cashier while Yeosang will serve customers.

"Yunho should float, introduce yourself as the owern." Hongjoong suggested. The others nodded in agreement and Yunho hummed. Soon, the doors will be open and people will be here.

"Sorry to interrupt but we've decided not to serve this first yuzu loaf since it is a little lopsided." You said.

"What she means is, you guys can have it for breakfast before opening." Seonghwa clarified. The 5 boys immediately bowed.

"It smells so good." Mingi said in awe.

"Enjoy." You and Seonghwa went back to the kitchen to continue. The 5 boys crowded the yuzu loaf like vultures, digging into it with forks. They didn't even bother cutting into it to portion out, they went straight for it.

"Oh my god... It's so good." San melted.

"Where did you find these people? This is amazing!" Yeosang said, eyes wide in surprise on the taste.

"Not me, Hongjoong hyung." Yunho chewed his food. Hongjoong smirked proudly. They didn't realise that you were watching them in amusement, especially when they fought over the last piece.

"What are you watching?" Jongho tilted his head when he saw you loitering at the kitchen entrance.

"They're fighting for the last bit of Wooyoung's yuzu loaf. Like seagulls fighting for the last shrimp." You chuckled.

"You look like you're watching television." Wooyoung laughed.

"It feels like I am." You replied. You walked away to continue your task. Once the fresh strawberries were mixed with basil, you spooned them over the custard layer.

"Done. You can jelly glaze them." You told Seonghwa. He nodded and brushed over the gelatin mixture which will make the fruits look shiny and glossy. When each item was done, you put one piece of each item on a plate to bring it out. Most importantly, you wanted Yunho to try them to get his opinion.

"This is a piece of each item. You've had the yuzu loaf. This is lemon poppy seed madeleines, strawberry basil tartlets and palmiers. For the cakes, New York cheesecake and red velvet." You explained.

"The yuzu loaf was super good, by the way." San smiled.

"I'll be sure to tell Wooyoung." You gave a nod. After that, you retreated back to the kitchen.

"Wait, strawberry basil? Like the thing on pizza?" Mingi blinked, realising one of the treats that you had just brought out to them. This time, Yeosang cut up each item.

"Oh my... Okay, this is my new favourite." Hongjoong covered his mouth as he chewed, pointing at the red velvet cake.

"This seashell cake things would go so well with coffee." Yunho said as he took a bite.

"Ah! Okay, let's quickly finish up and clear the counter. We're opening in 30 minutes." Yunho panicked, realising the time. His heart suddenly lurched and his stomach churned uncomfortably, he was getting too nervous and anxious.

"Let's do a final sweep." Yeosang and San grabbed the brooms to clean the floors while Mingi and Hongjoong went around to wipe the tables and chairs.

"I'm going to... get stuff." Yunho said to his friends and walked away. From the corner of your eye, you watched him cross the kitchen and enter the walk in fridge, closing the door behind him.

"Nervous?" Yunho jumped when you appeared. Your arms crossed and your eyebrows raised.

"Yeah... It's finally happening... And I just don't want it to fail." He hung his head down, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Why do you think it will fail?" You cocked your head to the side. The stoic look on your face made Yunho confused on whether you were asking a rhetoric or not.

"It's my first time doing this, clearly I've not been the efficient restaurant owner. I was supposed to do this with my grandmother. This was her dream. And if I waste it, I'll never forgive myself." He shook his head. There was a silence in the walk in fridge until Yunho heard you let out a soft sigh.

"You've said it yourself. This is your first time. It's a learning process and you'll still continue to learn. Your grandmother must have believed in you to give your this opportunity." You said.

"All that you have done, it is not a waste. What is a waste is you panicking here in the walk in when the place hasn't even opened yet."

"You're right..." Yunho nodded.

"Don't scare yourself with the negatives of what can go wrong. Go in with a fresh, open mind, be excited for what can happen and the positives." You advised.

"Thank you, (y/n)! I'll go out now and open." Yunho grinned happily and ran out. You walked out.

"What?" You blinked, seeing the 3 boys staring at you.

"Naughty (y/n). With the boss? On day 1? In the walk in?!" Wooyoung teased with gasps. You rolled your eyes, throwing your tea towel at him as you went back to your station.

"Are you good?" Seonghwa asked softly, coming to stand next to you. You looked up at him and nodded. He pulled you in to gently stroke your head. You all finished up the rest of the cafe confectionaries, getting some extras ready in case they sell out.

"Take a small break everyone. Get a drink, we can observe the cafe opening. Then we'll start cleaning and discuss dinner service." You instructed.

"Okay." The 3 replied, putting all their used dishes together to clean later on. Wooyoung and Jongho went out to get coffee at the front of the house, where Mingi and San were.

"Want a drink that's not coffee? They have ades." You laughed.

"Sure." Seonghwa walked out with you. You were just in time to see Yunho open the doors and flip the sign to open.

You watched with a small smile, Yunho grinned as he greeted the first customer that was already in the queue. There wasn't a large queue but people must have been curious seeing the posters around.

"Here." Jongho handed you a coffee.

"Thank you." You received it and took a sip. The boys went back into the kitchen first while you continued to linger around.

"Sorry, can I make a drink for Seonghwa? He doesn't drink coffee." You asked.

"Of course. Want us to make something?" San offered. You shook your head, grabbing a glass and whatever you needed. You didn't want to break their momentum when orders were already starting to come in from customers. After mixing a drink for Seonghwa, you moved out of their way.

"Here, Hwa. I mixed the tropical fruits and topped it up with soda." You handed the glass to him.

"Thanks." He patted your head and took a sip before continuing his cleaning. There were two sinks so you all just took turns cleaning up. While waiting your turn, you wiped down your station.

"I'm craving a reuben." Seonghwa said.

"Reuben? Nah, monte cristo for me." Wooyoung laughed.

"What's with both of you craving sandwiches all of a sudden?" You scoffed while rolling your eyes.

"Basically they want to make ham and salt beef for our next cooking get together." Jongho spoke, going to keep the leftover ingredients in the walk in.

"It has been so long since we've made those two things... I don't know if I remember how to..." You scratched your head.

"Liar." All 3 boys coughed.

"You know what? You make your own ham and you, make your own salt beef." You glared at them. Wooyoung dried his hands while laughing, coming over to hug your arm.

"My precious (y/n), you've made things so many things more complex than ham and salt beef that you saying you've forgotten how to make it is a joke. You aren't fooling anyone, especially any one of us." Wooyoung pinched your cheeks.

You swatted his hands away and went out to see how the cafe was doing. Most of the tables were filled, with customers enjoying the drinks and food.

"Oh, (y/n)!" Yunho jumped when he turned around and almost bumped into you.

"I didn't think so many people would show up." He said. You hummed, nodding your head as you continued to look around.

"The confectionaries are moving fast. Everyone likes all of them." He blurted out with a big grin. Honestly, Yunho had to urge to hug you and thank you for helping him at the start, in the walk in.

"Told you. Worried for nothing." You looked up at him but your face didn't show that you were teasing or making fun of him for his nerves earlier.

"You were right." He nodded in agreement with a shy smile.

"Umm, excuse me." A customer stood at the counter and you nodded over for Yunho to go. He went to attend to the customer while you went back into the kitchen.

"Ah! I need a break." Mingi complained as he entered after you.

"It's only been an hour." Jongho stated.

"Let's discuss our dinner menu and break for the day." You said as the 3 gathered around you at the kitchen island, ignoring Mingi. But Mingi stuck around, curious to listen in.

"Let's do the pork tenderloin medallions with cherry madeira sauce. I'm not sure how the crowd will be so let's not accompany it with the risotto this time since those are cooked to order. We'll do a parsnip puree as the starch component. Then a roast chicken with gochujang butter under the skin." You said.

"What's the starch for the chicken?" Seonghwa asked.

"We should do mixed roast vegetables. They can sit under the chicken as the trivet and they'll roast in the chicken fat- butter mixture." Wooyoung suggested.

"For seafood, we'll do a cioppino with crusty bread? We got some shellfish and we'll cook that with the monkfish." You said.

"I think we should have a pasta option." Jongho voiced out.

"Let's do miso butter tagliatelle with mixed mushrooms and borttarga." Seonghwa decided. The rest of you nodded then discussed some simple appetisers to make.

"Two desserts. One light, one heavy." You told them,

"I would say we do something simple. Panna cotta with raspberry coolis. Then bukkumi with makgeolli ice cream." Jongho suggested.

"That's a good idea. One western and one korean dessert." Wooyoung agreed. You hummed and wrote it down on the paper. Mingi quietly left the kitchen.

"What's with that look?" Hongjoong asked him when he came out.

"I just listened in on the kitchen team plan tonight's dinner menu. Like wow, I want one of everything they're preparing. It all sounds so good and amazing." Mingi said, star stuck like he had just witnessed greatness or a celebrity.

"Get back to work. There are customers that need service." Yeosang waved everyone back to their stations. Wooyoung came out.

"Yunho? Do you have time for us to quickly discuss the dinner menu before we leave for the afternoon?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm coming." Yunho nodded and left Hongjoong to the cashier as he entered the kitchen. When he entered, he immediately noticed you weren't there. He wanted to ask where you went.

"This is what our team discussed earlier." Jongho handed Yunho the paper where you had been scribbling on earlier with sharpie.

"Sorry, you might need to explain all this to me." He apologised with a sheepish smile.

"Sure." Wooyoung, Jongho and Seonghwa explained all the dishes to him, the components, how they will be cooked, etc. However, Yunho was slightly distracted by where you were.

You were actually standing outside in the cold, taking in some fresh air. After a stint of cooking, you usually wanted to get some fresh air on your own with peace and quiet, away from the busy kitchen. That's why the 3 usually let you be and gave you the space that you wanted, for as long as you needed.

He wondered if you were okay. But if your friends were not worried, Yunho shouldn't be.

"I'm ready. Let's go when you're done." You poked your head in to tell the boys and left without acknowledging Yunho. To be honest, you didn't even see him.

"Thank you for coming in so early. I'll see you all tonight." Yunho bowed to them.

"No problem." Seonghwa smiled.

"See you." Wooyoung said and the 3 bowed before exiting the restaurant. Yunho watched from the window as you waited for them by Jongho's car. Seonghwa wrapped an arm around you.

"I'm tired." You leaned against him, mumbling like a grumpy toddler.

"Yes, let's all get some sleep. We have a long dinner service ahead of us." Seonghwa chuckled and ushered all of you into the car.

~

Series masterlist

[faithst]

LIVESTREAMS WITH ZB1

pairing zb1 x idol!reader

genre mostly comedy, maybe fluff ? reader is in zb1 🤝

warnings mentions of food/drinks in hao and hanbin’s

notes hi anon, thank you for requesting ! i didn’t want this to be romantic as idol life is,, something.. but still, i hope you enjoy this ! 🫶

masterlist<3

— zhang hao

you’re playing drinking games

and before you ask, no. it’s not actual alcohol

you mix up the most unhinged drink combinations

like soy milk + tea + mountain dew 😃

the drink literally has particles in it

you play the ‘of course’ game and it turns ugly real quick

“you know that i’m better than you at everything, right?” zhanghao says, feeling proud

“of course! zhanghao.. you know that hanbin loves me more, right?” a smirk tugging on your lips that zhanghao so desperately wanted to slap off

loses the game because of that and has to chug down every drop (he’s ok tho i think)

“you’re lucky we’re live right now.”

— sung hanbin

since he was a barista, you guys are making drinks

he teaches you some tips and tricks but it’s more complicated than you think

his drink is so much more visually pleasing than yours although you both followed the same steps 😭

like pretty gradient colors that blend well together

but it’s expected cuz he’s a professional

you do a taste test

and his drink tastes like heaven 👍

you offered yours to him and he tries it

ngl, you were nervous about his opinion

“uh, it’s definitely a new experience.”

— seok matthew

some kind of crafts live

where you both are making those bead bracelets

you make ones for eachother and also the other members !

and matthew is all like ‘oh, you’re gonna love what i made for you’

he’s so proud of his creations

and at some point he accidentally spills every bead onto the table 😭

and you both take a look at eachother like 😐

and it becomes quiet for a whole 5 minutes as he picks everything back up

after that, you both continue making bracelets for the other members 🫶

“jiwoon hyung likes this color, i know him better than you!”

— shen ricky

painting live

you guys are making paintings to hang on eachothers walls

it’s actually pretty chill with ricky 👍

but then he accidentally splattered some paint onto his designer white shirt

his honest reaction to that: ☹️

but its okay, he can just buy a new one. maybe get a car too while he’s at it

since ricky is really good at arts

you wanted to paint him smth nice too

so you just put your autograph onto the canvas

he loves it tho and keeps it in his room 😔

“i can sell this!”

— park gunwook

workout stream

it was actually supposed to be a live for gunwook and matthew

but matthew had to do smth else

so you offered to accompany gunwook instead !

gunwook shares his workout tips and you just nod and agree

you both share your workout routines and people make articles abt them 🫢

‘zb1’s gunwook and y/n workout routine: is it effective?’

oh and you also get thirst trap edits bcuz of this

flaunting your muscles and abs and stuff idk 😭

“do you guys wanna know the secret to my godly physique?”

— kim taerae

from the content we have now..

it’s 100% a karaoke live

wbk he loves singing and he wanted to invite you to ‘taerae show #2’

has his anpanman guitar, ready at hand 🤝

you both have a blast singing and taerae becomes main rapper at some point

he’s so immersed in the ballad songs, he prolly starts crying for effects 😔

biggest hypeman

like he’s all ‘OH MY GOD WOAHHHH’

and he also harmonises w you

don’t be surprised when you get a compilation of ‘y/n and taerae: 5th gen main vocals’

“100 points?! i’m so good!”

— kim gyuvin

q&a stream

answering fan questions and basically fan service

“is a butt one or two?”

gyuvin actually thinks about it for a second and is like “oh my god.” 😭

it got too confusing though so you continued reading the comments

someone asked what he did today and he started thinking

“uh..” “sorry, i forgot.” you joke, making gyuvin stare daggers to you 🫢

he looks back to the screen

and with a wide smile he said

“i’m sorry zerose! i think we have to end the live here. thank you for watching!”

— kim jiwoong

makeup stream

where you do his makeup

and he’s giving you those eyes yk 👀

the comments are going crazy bcuz of it

and when you do his lips, he smiles and it curves so perfectly (ahdguajskshaikahdh)

you accidentally went overboard with the glitter

but jiwoong pulls off everything so it still looks amazing

everyone loves what you did and your makeup style is trending 👍

“i think some glitter got stuck in my eye.”

— han yujin

i don’t know why but you both are face painting

but instead of face painting on yourselves, you face paint eachother

“i’m gonna make you into a piece of art” he says as he paints a streak onto your face

he stops to take a step back and look at everything from a bigger picture

and bursts into laughter 😃

you’re so worried abt what he did to you

he tries to regain his composure but laughs every few seconds

“what’s wrong? what did you do?” “nothing! i made you look very.. cool.” 😁

and then you look into a mirror and you look like shrek's offspring (yes, you get turned into a meme)

“this is my best piece yet! should i leave my signature too?”

© keiwook

[jmdbjk]

Privates First Class Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook: Our first real look.

Jimin and Jungkook. I know, I'm being insufferable but I can't NOT dwell on them a little more. Festa activities will make us move past this so fast as things always do in BTS Army life.

But you don't realize how much is bottled up or how starving you've been until you finally get to feast on that one thing you've been missing. That didn't sound very appealing and I'm not really that pathetic (its mostly the busy-ness inside my head) but you know what I mean, right? I've missed them soooo much!

Military life seems to have been going well for them. Since January we've had very little news about them. Just military blips here and there... training with U.S. Marines... kitchen police... cooking rice... cleaning from top to bottom... learning to aim big-ass missiles and hitting targets and living on rations for a week. Even receiving recognition for outstanding service.

Almost every day I imagine them doing their daily duties and all... but there was little to go by. And that's fine. Some of those things I don't want to think about. But that's what they are doing every day.

Seeing them in real time in the flesh is very reassuring.

One thing that was noticeable to me is that Jimin and Jungkook did not look like their usual sleepy-head selves they are at that time of the morning. But they both looked strong and composed. Going to bed every night like a normal person and getting a good night's sleep is a healthy habit they will probably break the moment they are discharged.

Jimin... just wow. His hair grew out. No more buzz cut. But also, the duality continues:

Someone posted a comparison pic of Jimin's painted nails and a close up of his hands which now have what look like healed spots on his hands and knuckles and scuffed nails... I don't have the pic but it shows how he's fully immersed in his military duties. Hands do get beat up somewhat when you work with them a lot.

Jungkook looked amazing.

Jungkook's little burn scars... that damn edge of the oven or hot pan will get you when you least expect it! Got him twice too! Ouchie! I hope it didn't bother him for too long. To the infirmary!

He'll get Polyc to cover that up with a new tattoo. Or maybe design one around it to highlight Jungkook's battle scars he received while an enlisted man.

One thing they are most likely gaining now is self-confidence in the ability to do something NOT in their wheelhouse. Leading people or working with people who are not the ones they used to see day in and day out for ten years. Learning new skills, being part of a different team, doing different things can be enriching and will enhance other parts of their lives.

Not being with the people who are paid to be there to make sure they look good and every whim is taken care of....the isolation had to be culture shock for them. Knowing they are together, that center of familiarity when they are faced with something new, is a great source of comfort.

Jimin and Jungkook showed up to Jin's discharge in full uniform. I will assume they arrived together straight from their base, where they must remain in their uniforms at all times.

Hugs all around. Jimin's are the best, most heartfelt hugs.

Jimin and Tae's hug... I felt that shit. The squeeze, the "no, don't let go yet," the fullness of it. They mean a lot to each other. I know they've always been close, they've told us so, they've reminded us they speak to each other often even when they weren't working as a group.

And I'm sorry but the awkward side hug between Tae and JK was not "tHeY jUsT sPeNt TiMe ToGeThEr." Be for real. Are you fucking blind? That was Tae saying "bro, didn't realize you walked up behind me, are you not gonna hug me too?" And JK going "oh, well, ok if you insist, bro (since you won't let go of my wrist)."

No, Jimin and Jungkook did not hug each other... they just got out of the car that they rode in from their base where they live together. Where they showered and got dressed and ate breakfast together before getting in the car. It is perplexing how that is even a question I see people put out there.

There was curiosity as to whether Jimin and Jungkook were on day leave or what and initially seeing them in uniform the first assumption is that they might be only on temporary day leave and would have to return to base that evening. But then we got the group pic at the Hybe building and Jimin and Jungkook had changed clothes. From what I understand, when a soldier is on day leave, they must remain in uniform AT ALL TIMES during that day. No quick change into some other clothes for a while. REMAIN IN UNIFORM AT ALL TIMES NO MATTER WHAT. So them being in civvies tells us they are on vacation/days off. We don't know how much time they took off but perhaps they won't go back to the base until Monday.

During their days off they will probably separate and go do their own thing. Maybe they will take time to go to Busan and visit fam. Most likely, Jungkook will go check on the progress of the Itaewon house construction (the exterior of JK's new house is black and it will have a tiny balcony that faces the street and appears to have some livable rooftop space). Jungkook may visit Bam. They may visit their other friends. Since the entire group was there, they most likely shared how they were doing and most likely talked about next year.

The delulu mode has activated...

[probablyasocialecologist]

Ripping up concrete sidewalks and parking lots and instead planting urban forests and using less cars can all help to decrease indoor and outdoor air temperature. In cities with an abundance of water, “soft cooling” techniques using fans and pools can also greatly reduce extreme temperatures.

Many architects today are also changing how they design buildings: only providing AC in specific rooms instead of through a central heating system. This way, people can choose to open or close their windows if they want, while reducing the energy needed to cool the hallways and lobby areas.

If you face photovoltaic panels westward, you can time the peak electricity production from solar energy with peak electricity demand for cooling. Using better glass on buildings, external shading, increasing air movement and installing ceiling fans—all of these further reduce reliance on AC.

In the longer term, we can cool our streets by narrowing them, using less dark colors that absorb heat, and aligning streets to prevailing winds. There are also ways we can overhaul the way we do air conditioning itself.

Many cities already provide air-conditioned public spaces as a public health services; we could also redesign apartment buildings with social spaces for people to hang out, by, for example, transforming the much cooler basements into lounges.

We could build cooperative housing that is ecologically and efficiently designed, so that people can together manage their energy use and decide on their own innovations to lower temperature. Toronto has a district cooling system that uses cold water from the bottom of Lake Ontario, and then uses the warmed up water for the drinking water supply.

[theoutcastrogue]

Members of an ethical hacking group called Dragon Sector, including Sergiusz Bazański and Michał Kowalczyk, were called upon by a train repair shop, Serwis Pojazdów Szynowych (SPS), to analyze train software in June 2022. SPS was desperate to figure out what was causing "mysterious failures" that shut down several vehicles owned by Polish train operator the Lower Silesian Railway, Polish infrastructure trade publication Rynek Kolejowy reported. At that point, the shortage of trains had already become "a serious problem" for carriers and passengers, as fewer available cars meant shorter trains and reduced rider capacity, Rynek Kolejowy reported.

Dragon Sector spent two months analyzing the software, finding that "the manufacturer's interference" led to "forced failures and to the fact that the trains did not start," and concluding that bricking the trains "was a deliberate action on Newag's part."

According to Dragon Sector, Newag entered code into the control systems of Impuls trains to stop them from operating if a GPS tracker indicated that the train was parked for several days at an independent repair shop.

The trains "were given the logic that they would not move if they were parked in a specific location in Poland, and these locations were the service hall of SPS and the halls of other similar companies in the industry," Dragon Sector's team alleged. "Even one of the SPS halls, which was still under construction, was included."

The code also allegedly bricked the train if "certain components had been replaced without a manufacturer-approved serial number," 404 Media reported. [...]

404 Media noted that Newag appeared to be following a common playbook in the right-to-repair world where manufacturers intimidate competitor repair shops with threatened lawsuits and unsubstantiated claims about safety risks of third-party repairs. So far, Dragon Sector does not appear intimidated, posting its success on YouTube and discussing its findings at Poland’s Oh My H@ck conference in Warsaw.

[galaxygolfergirl]

Watcher's Expenses

I didn't major in accounting: I took three classes and it grinded my brain to a fine powder. However, after graduating with a business admin degree, being a former eager fan of their videos, and from a cursory glance over their socials, there's a lot to consider in their spending behavior that really could start racking up costs. Some of these things we've already noticed, but there are other things I'd like to highlight, and I'll try to break it down into the different categories of accounting expenses (if I get something wrong, let me know. I was more concentrated in marketing 🤷‍♀️). I'm not going to hypothesize numbers either, as that would take out more time than I'm willing to afford-- you can assume how much everything costs. Anyways, here's my attempt at being a layman forensic accountant:

Note: All of this is assuming they're operating above board and not engaging in any illegal practices such as money laundering, tax evasion, not paying rent, etc.

Operating Expenses

Payroll: 25+ staff salaries and insurance

Overhead Expenses

CEO/founder salaries

Office space leasing or rent (In L.A, one of the most expensive cities in the US)

Utilities (water, electricity, heating, sanitation, etc.)

Insurance

Advertising Costs

Telephone & Internet service

Cloud Storage or mainframe

Office equipment (furniture, computers, printers, etc.)

Office supplies (paper, pens, printer ink, etc.)

Marketing costs (Social media marketing on Instagram, Youtube, SEO for search engines, Twitter, etc. Designing merchandise and posters, art, etc. )

Human Resources (not sure how equipped they are)

Accounting fees

Property taxes

Legal fees

Licensing fees

Website maintenance (For Watchertv.com, Watcherstuff.com, & Watcherentertainment.com)

Expenses regarding merchandising (whoever they contract or outsource for that)

Inventory costs

Potentially maintenance of company vehicles

Subsequent gas mileage for road trips

Depreciation (pertains to tangible assets like buildings and equipment)

Amortization (intangible assets such as patents and trademarks)

Overhead Travel and Entertainment Costs (I think one of the biggest culprits, evident in their videos and posts)

The travel expenses (flights, train trips, rental cars, etc. For main team and scouts)

Hotel expenses for 7-8 people at least, or potentially more

Breakfasts, lunches and dinners with the crew (whether that's fully on their dime or not, I don't know; Ryan stated they like to cover that for the most part)

Recreational activities (vacation destinations, amusement parks, sporting activities etc.)

The location fees

Extraneous Overhead costs (not sure exactly where these fall under, but another culprit, evident in videos and posts)

Paying for guest appearances

Expensive filming & recording equipment (Cameras, sound equipment, editing software subscriptions, etc.)

The overelaborate sets for Ghost files, Mystery Files, Puppet History, Podcasts etc. (Set dressing: Vintage memorabilia, antiquated tech, vintage furniture, props, etc.)

Kitchen & Cooking supplies/equipment

Office food supply; expensive food and drink purchases for videos

Novelty items or miscellaneous purchases (ex. Ghost hunting equipment, outfits, toys, etc.)

Non-Operating Expenses

These are those expenses that cannot be linked back to operating revenue. One of the most common examples of non-operating expenses is interest expense. This is because while interest is the cost of borrowing money from a creditor or a bank, they are not generating any operating income. This makes interest payments a part of non-operating expenses.

Financial Expenses

Potential loan payments, borrowing from creditors or lenders, bank loans, etc.

Variable Expenses

Hiring a large amount of freelancers, overtime expenditure, commissions, etc.

PR consultations (Not sure if they had this before the scandal)

Extraordinary Expenses

Expenses incurred outside your company’s regular business activities and during a large one-time event or transactions. For example, selling land, disposal of a significant asset, laying off of your employees, unexpected machine repairing or replacement, etc.

Accrued Expenses

When your business has incurred an expense but not yet paid for it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(If there's anything else I'm missing, please feel free to add or correct things)

To a novice or a young entrepreneur, this can be very intimidating if you don't have the education or the support to manage it properly. I know it intimidates the hell out of me and I'm still having to fill in the gaps (again, if I've mislabeled or gotten anything wrong here, please let me know). For the artistic or creative entrepreneur, it can be even harder to reconcile the extent of your creative passions with your ability to operate and scale your business at a sustainable rate. That can lead to irresponsible, selfish, and impulsive decisions that could irreparably harm your brand, which is a whole other beast of its own.

My guess at this point is that their overhead and operation expenses are woefully mismanaged; they've made way too many extraneous purchases, and that they had too much confidence in their audience of formerly 2.93 million to make up for the expenses they failed to cover.

It almost seems as if their internal logic was, "If we make more money, we can keep living the expensive lifestyle that we want and make whatever we want without anyone telling us we can't, and we want to do it NOW, sooner rather than later because we don't want wait and compromise our vision." But as you can see, the reality of fulfilling those ambitions is already compromised by the responsibility of running a business.

And I wrote this in another post here, but I'll state it again: Running a business means you need to be educated on how a business can successfully and efficiently operate. Accounting, marketing, social media marketing, public relations, production, etc; these resources and internet of things is available and at your disposal. If they had invested more time in educating themselves on those aspects and not made this decision based on artistic passion (and/or greed), they would have not gotten the response they got.

Being a graphic designer, I know the creative/passionate side of things but I also got a degree/got educated in business because I wanted to understand how to start a company and run it successfully. If they’re having trouble handling the responsibility of doing that, managing production costs, managing overhead expenses, and especially with compensating their 25+ employees, then they should hire professionals that are sympathetic to their creative interests, but have the education and experience to reign in bad decisions like these.

Anyways, thanks for coming to my TedTalk. What a shitshow this has been.

[starwarsmum]

A new fic? Me? Must be Wednesday 😅 this is based off a prompt for @apileofashandember about Marinette meeting the batfam through Penny ❤️

The rating on this is Mature because it gets a little spicy further down the line! You have been warned 😘

Chapter 1: A Liar Ruins a Website

Marinette sat alone in her room, hands scrunched in her hair as she muffled her screams into her bed. Her laptop sat innocently on her pillow, new comments popping up every few minutes on her now ruined website. 

“Make a website, Jagged said, it'll get your name out there, he said,” she complained to Tikki. The tiny god wisely said nothing, but settled itself into her hair. “How did that liar even find out about it? No, don't answer that,” she added when Tikki took a breath. “If I don't take my website down now, my name will be ruined, and I will never design professionally again.”

One short internet search later, and her heart broke as she changed the code to an out of service message. She would have to email the half a dozen clients that she had secured in the past month or so, and contact Jagged and Penny to let them know. It wasn't fair, she had worked so hard on making her website cute and fun. And now all of that hard work was ruined.

She sighed and opened up her group chat with Jagged and Penny, looking back at the good luck messages she had received from them about the website. It made her miss the early days of her commissions, when Jagged had asked her to make a pair of sunglasses and an album cover.

Nette: hey, just to let you know, I had to take the site down. someone said I stole their work and I got a bunch of hate

Auntie P: what?! who dares? I'm sorry Nette, that's awful

Uncle J: that's not rock n roll! is it that girl you told us about? Leela? Layla? 

Nette: probably, not that I can prove it

Marinette sighed, rubbing her eyes. She fired off the emails to her clients, hoping to get ahead for the night. She had finished her homework, but she still had an hour or two before she crashed for the night so she was hoping to get at least one of the designs finalised.

She got lost in the designing process, fresh pages becoming covered in sketches and annotations. She surfaced from her work after Tikki reminded her that she had school the next morning, so she readied herself for bed. When she checked her messages again before she went to sleep, she saw a new one flashing on the group chat.

Aunt P: if you need a hand rebranding, creating a new website, just let us know. we're proud of you for being so mature with this and we'll help you succeed

Nette: thanks both, I may take you up on that. I just need a couple of days to get over this setback and we'll sort it

It was after a fitful night's sleep that Marinette awoke, late as usual, and ran through her morning rituals. She shoved her hair into a bun, dragged on a semi-respectable outfit and grabbed a croissant on her way through the bakery. Now that she was in lycée, she had to travel further in the mornings. Fortunately, with the motorcycle she had finally passed the test to drive, she didn't need to rely on public transport to get there.

“Girl, are you okay?” Alya raced up to her as she pulled into the lycée car park, throwing her arms around Marinette. “Lila told us your website went down last night, right when she was about to submit a request! What happened?”

“Someone started a rumour that I stole my designs and it meant a bunch of people started trashing the site,” Marinette said, trying to keep her voice even. She couldn't help stressing the first word, as she knew who was likely behind it, but she regretted it when Alya sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Not again, Marinette! I know it's been hard for you since you and Adrien didn't work out, and now it looks like he and Lila are going to start dating, but you need to stop with the jealousy! I love you, girl, but you get so into your head about him.”

“Alya, I didn't even say anything!” Marinette protested, weariness settling back onto her like an old, heavy blanket. “Look, whatever, it's not important right now. We're going to be late to class if we don't hustle.”

“I know you, Mari, you always think it was Lila!” Alya sounded exasperated, and it wasn't like Marinette could refute it. They walked along the hallway to their lockers, nodding at their friends as they passed. “And I get it, really, you can't help how you feel, but like I've told you before, you have to look at things objectively to get to the truth!”

Marinette bit her tongue, not wanting to point out that Alya’s blind insistence that Lila would never do such a thing was just as subjective as her believing that she had. She deliberately changed the topic to something else, ignoring the disapproving look her best friend shot her.

When they entered their classroom, Marinette greeted her other friends, sliding easily into her seat. She had chosen to sit at the back of the class so that nobody could say she had to give up her seat to someone else, reducing the upset it caused when Lila started spinning tales. She was fortunate that Lila had been placed in a different class in the previous years, but in her last year of lycée, her luck had finally run out.

“Oh my gosh, Marinette, I heard about your website!” Came the liar's high pitched faux-concerned voice. It grated on her that she would have to play nice with Lila once again, as Lila got her jabs in at Marinette. “It's so scary that someone would start a rumour about your work ethic, with so little evidence! Adrien and I were talking about it last night, he's always saying how you're still such a good friend to him.”

“Yeah, well, actually there's no evidence of me stealing designs because it's one hundred percent untrue,” Marinette said blandly, staring Lila down. She ignored the distressed noises the other girl started to make and waved a hand. “It doesn't matter, I have a few commissions to get through, but then I should take a break from designing to focus on the BAC anyway…”

Everyone around her told her it was such a shame that she wouldn't be able to take on new commissions for a while and she nodded glumly. She had no intention of stopping designing, of course, but this would hopefully give her some breathing room whilst she got herself set up again - anonymously this time. 

Which sadly meant that Max was no longer an option for making a new website. As much as she loved her friends, they really didn't look too hard at Lila's fantastic stories, which meant they would blithely tell the witch when Marinette set up again. This way, she would make a name for herself separately, and claim the brand in a few years once it was fully legitimised.

The lessons that day felt like they dragged on forever, Marinette just wanting to go home and make some progress on her commissions. She had learned to keep her sketchbooks at home - she didn't want to lose her work to people like 14-year-old Chloe - so she focused on trying to get a headstart on her homework whenever she had a free minute.

“Marinette! We were just talking about our Christmas plans, girl, weren't you making a bunch of designs for the local nativity play?” Alya beckoned her over and Marinette hid the grimace that threatened to cross her face. “Wow, that's so cool! Did you volunteer or something?”

“Not really, they saw some of my work and offered me a reasonable price for their main costumes for the play,” Marinette answered, wary of where the conversation would go next. She had stopped doing freebies for her friends, which had upset them until she had explained that she wanted to go to university in America and needed to spend all of her time on paid commissions. 

“Oh, it's so nice for you that you're comfortable taking pay from such an underfunded space, Marinette!” Lila put in, sounding sweet as per usual, but with all of the underhandedness that Marinette was accustomed to. “I was just telling Rose that I'm planning on volunteering my time at a soup kitchen throughout the Christmas period. My friends, Damian and Tim, their family funds a few different charities both here and abroad. Do you think Adrien will be able to help out too?”

“You should probably check with his aunt,” she replied flatly, refusing to be baited into an argument about whether she should be doing the costumes for free. “I need to go and eat, excuse me.” She pushed away from the table, feeling drained again and resolutely ignoring the conversation that picked up about Lila's ‘friends’. Marinette was sure that whoever Lila was claiming to know this time had no clue who she was and she wasn't going to get stuck in that mess.

She toyed with her phone before deciding that she absolutely needed a new website and that Penny's friend was likely her best bet. So she crafted her message, begging Penny to put her in touch with her computer whiz before slogging through her homework and lunch.

_ _ _

Marinette sat nervously at her desk later that evening, waiting for the video call Penny had promised her. They had decided a three-way call was the best way to introduce them both, but as the other two were in America, it was later than Marinette would have liked for a video call.

Tikki was sitting quietly on her shoulder as she sketched anxiously. She knew that whoever Penny was introducing her to would be nice enough, but she was always unsure of meeting new people. She added a few details to her work, and jumped when the laptop began ringing. She hastily accepted the call, twisting in her chair and tapping her fingers.

“Hi, Nette,” came Penny's bright voice. “And hey Babs, thanks for coming on the call to help. Marinette, this is Barbara, an old student of sorts. I worked with her back when I was an aide at Gotham U, she was studying library science with a minor in computer sciences. Babs, this is Marinette, Jagged's personal designer. She's done a ton of his more recent album artwork and designed all of his stage outfits for the last 2 years. She's also our honorary niece.”

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Marinette!” The woman was leaning towards her screen, scrutinising the teenager. Marinette eyed her as well, seeing a whole mane of red hair and glasses above a broad smile. “Penny mentioned you needed some help with a website, though she didn't mention you were so accomplished already.”

“Ah, yes, I had some recent trouble with my own website and I don't have enough technical know-how to create something secure. I'm planning to go anonymous, to prevent the same thing happening again, but I have no idea where to start,” Marinette explained, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. 

“And how do you plan to get clients if you have no base to start from?” Babs was beginning to type furiously, a gleam in her eyes. “Don't get me wrong, I'm sure your work is wonderful, but if you don't have any endorsements, isn't it really hard to break onto the fashion scene?”

“Oh, well I thought I'd have Jagged do the introduction, if that's okay, Pen? Because I'm under 18, I didn't tell anyone except my maman that I was working with Jagged and she promised to keep it to herself. I figured that way I can sort commissions and won't have a problem with getting new clients.”

“Wicked idea, M!” Came Jagged's voice from off screen, making her giggle. “Babs, let us know when you have her site up and running and I'll rep it on my socials. Rock n roll, girls!”

So they worked out the logistics moving forward, Marinette trading contact info with Barbara and promising one evening a week to go over the website details. It was everything Marinette had hoped for when Penny had offered to connect her with a friend. When the call finally ended, it was closer to midnight in Paris and she was relieved that it was a weekend the following day.

“That went well, Marinette,” Tikki squeaked at her, floating around head height as the girl got herself ready for bed. Marinette agreed before collapsing into bed with a groan. It didn't take long for her to pass out, a slight smile on her face.

[miniwheat77]

Save a horse. (Tommy Miller x Farmhand!Reader.)

(I read a fic that mentioned the cowboy hat rule, cannot for the life of me remember which fandom or who the fic was about but that’s a bit of my inspo for this.)

!NSFW, animal death, animal attack, guns, wounds, virginity loss, unprotected p in v sex, 18+ MDNI!

"Who's that?" Joel asks Sarah. He spots a very tired looking girl, she's got plain jeans and a band shirt on. Her face is bruised to hell.

Joel is parked in the drop off line outside of Sarah’s school.

"Oh.. that's Y/N. She's a super senior."

"Why's her face all messed up like that?" He's confused. Sarah sighs. "Nobody really knows but.. before she turned 18, CPS would get involved a lot so.. it's rumored her dad does it." Sarah shrugs. "Jesus." He shakes his head. Tommy sits in the passenger seat. Glancing at Joel. "You friends with her?"

"No."

"Why not?" He asks. "Cause.. nobody likes her." She shrugs. "Excuse me?" He turns to look back at her. "Dad." She huffs. He looks at Tommy. Tommy glances back at her. "Not cool dude. Maybe she needs a friend." Tommy looks back. "Yeah well, I don't. So whatever." She rolls her eyes. “She’s a super senior anyways, she’s way older than me.” She mumbles. Climbing out of the car to go up to the school. "Christ in heaven I thought I raised her better than that." Joel shakes his head.

Tommy shrugs. "She's a kid, kids are cruel."

"Yeah, now to drop you off." Joel rolls his eyes. "Don't even start with me Joel."

"You're lucky this guy is allowing you to do farm work for community service. If not, you'd be picking up trash off the side of the road like everybody else." Joel laughs. Tommy is on probation for a few months along with a thousand hours of community service. He had his work cut out for him.

The drive is quiet, Tommy is nervous but he knows he shouldn't be. The farm isn't too far out of town, maybe fifteen minutes or so, which is nice.

Joel drops him off at the gated dirt road that leads up to the farm and Tommy says he'll call a cab for a ride to Joel's. That's where he's staying for now.

Tommy makes his way up the dirt road, up to the massive farmhouse that's a little dingy. It needs new siding and paint. He knocks at the door, glancing around to get a good look at the farm. "What?" The man opens the door. He's gruff, an old man. "Hi, I'm Tommy. I'm supposed to help out for some community service." He explains. "Ah, nice to meet ya. I'm Jacob." He shakes Tommy's hand, he's got a firm handshake. "Let me show you around." He mumbles. He wastes no time to get right to the point.

For the next couple of hours he shows Tommy everything he's gonna be doing. He shows him how to care for the animals. Driving the extra farm truck to haul hay bales out to the pastures for the cows, feeding the chickens and collecting the eggs. Making sure the animals are in their designated pins at night, and to let them out in the early morning. It doesn't seem too tough.

"Me n my wife are going out of town tonight to pick up some furniture or some shit. Whatever the ol' lady wants. Be gone a few days. The kid will be here to help you figure everything out."

Tommy nods. "Kid?" He asks. "Ah. It's a girl I took in when she was a baby." Tommy wonders why he didn't call you his daughter. "She not here?" He asks. "No. She's at school right now." Tommy nods. "Anyways, we got a little guest house. It's small, you can stay there while you work on the farm if you want. The commute to get here at 5am sucks." He nods. Tommy nods. "Thank you sir. I appreciate it."

When all of the morning work is done, Tommy retreats into the guest house to check it out. It is small, about the size of a shipping container. Just like a tiny house. But it's perfect, considering Tommy has been staying with Joel. He takes the time to call Joel and let him know where he'll be staying and not to worry about him, then he takes a nap until the evening farm work.

When it's about time for the later farm work, he hears the loud diesel farm truck disappearing down the dirt road, letting him know that Jacob and his wife had left. He makes his way out, thinking he's alone when he catches a glimpse of a girl carrying a bucket into the hen house. He makes his way across the dirt road and walks up to the entrance where she is. He opens up the chicken wire door.

"Hey." He smiles. When you turn to look at him, he recognizes you immediately, by the massive bruise you have around your eye. "Hey, you must be Tommy." You say, turning back. Your attire now is far different than it was. Boots, bootcut jeans, and a wife beater. You had gloves on your hands. "Yeah, I didn't catch your name." He reaches a hand out and you shake it. "Y/N." You nod. He smiles. "Right, nice to meet ya. I'll be your farm hand for the next couple weeks" he laughs. You smile. "Cool."

"Your dad is cool with leaving you here with a stranger?" He tilts his head. "He ain't my dad. He knows I can handle myself. But he really doesn't care what happens to me." You mumble. He nods. "Right. Seems that way. That's a hell of a shiner, girl." He laughs. He can see you stiffen slightly. "Yeah, his wife packs a hit."

"She hits ya?"

You nod your head. "Nothing but a drunken bitch." You mumble, tipping the bucket of feed over for the chickens, they all start flocking at your feet and you step over them to get away. Tommy follows you around. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be." You laugh.

"He show you around?" You ask. He nods his head. "Cool. Thanks for the help Tommy."

He stops following after you, figuring that he should start on another side entirely and help you. He'd meet you some time down the line.

For the next few days, it's the same. Every morning you're awake in the early morning helping Tommy with the work load, every night you're doing more work. He wonders how you balance it with school but you seem to figure it out. He imagines that’s why you’re stuck in high school for another year. Probably held back. He can only imagine how this work takes a toll on your schooling.

Tommy is finishing up work, you've been inside a while now. He was just finishing up putting the chickens away when he hears commotion from the stable. An area Tommy was told not to worry about, Jacob said you'd handle it because you knew the horses better and he didn't want Tommy getting hurt.

Tommy understood.

He can hear the horses going crazy. Something definitely isn't right. He thinks about going and looking for himself but decides he should go get you instead. Feeling bad that he's pulling you away from your free time once more.

He makes his way to the farm house and knocks at the door. You open up the door, looking at him. You're still wearing jeans and that wife beater you like. Only now he can see you don't have a bra on. Your jeans hug your hips and ass just right. He needs to focus. "Something wrong?" You ask. "Uh.. well. Yeah. I just hear the horses going nuts, something doesn't sound right." He explains. "Alright." You nod. Cracking the door for a second. He doesn't see you reach for the table by the door, grabbing the pearl gripped handle, tucking it into your waistband and covering it with your shirt.

You follow him out to the stable and when you step in front of him to enter, he spots it.

Realizing why Jacob trusted you to hold your own.

He smiles to himself. He follows you inside, seeing you shine a flashlight into each of the stalls, but the stall on the end has the lock broken off. "Shit." You mumble. "What?"

"Horse got out." You mumble. You can see in the dirt where she'd taken off, so you follow her hoofprints. Your flashlight passes along the disturbed dirt. You spot the other footprints right away.

"Wait." You stop immediately, Tommy nearly runs into you.

"What?"

"Mountain Lion." You glance. You can't hear anything.

"Shit, stay close Tommy." You mumble. Starting to walk faster.

After a few minutes of walking. you can hear her. Your fast walk turns into a full sprint.

"Shit!" He hears you. You shine your flashlight up, now he can see it, the cat holds onto her back. Clawing at her. "Tommy, ears!" You yell. You grasp the pistol out of your waistband and draw it, aiming at the cat. Tommy covers one ear as you fire the gun a few times. He hears the cat yowl, letting go of the horse and running off. Clearly wounded. Both of your ears ring.

You stand back for a second while your horse continues to panic. She's in a frenzy, bucking and spinning in circles. You start walking slowly toward her, soothing her as you move toward her. "Shhh... it's okay. It's alright." You breathe. Hearing your voice alone she starts to settle. Eyes wide and she shakes her head. She's hurt. You get even closer, reaching out and petting along her neck to calm her.

When she's finally calm, you grab hold of her reigns and start walking back toward the stables with her.

When you get her back, finally getting a good look at her. You can see the deep gashes and bites on her backside. "You can head in Tommy. M'just gonna clean her up." You mumble. "Nah, I want to help. Tell me how I can." He mumbles.

You look at him, almost shocked. Like you're not used to people helping you. You start telling him how to help you. You flush her wounds and dress them, patching her up. Asking Tommy to get you some stuff here or there, but most of the time he just watches. When you're finished, you hesitate. The sun is starting to rise.

"I can handle the morning work if you wanna get some sleep."

He laughs. Your horse is back inside the stable, the door now repaired thanks to Tommy. "I'm fine, darlin." He laughs. "I can sleep when morning work is finished. Maybe you should go up and get some sleep before school."

"Nah, I won't go today." You grasp the gun off of the workbench. "I'm gonna go after that cat, make sure it's dead."

"Alone? I don't think so." He mumbles. You laugh.

———

He helps you find the cat. Seeing that it hadn't made it far from where you'd shot it. You're a good shot. Tommy helps you pack it back to the house. You dress it and skin it, telling Tommy to get started on the farm work while you cut it up. It surprises him at first, there's seemingly nothing you can't do. But he knows the meat is useful, it definitely won't go to waste.

He listens this time. Starting in on the work and letting the chickens out. A few hours later he catches up to what you've already finished. Your half of the work. He spots you sitting up in the hay loft of the barn, legs dangling over the edge. It's been almost a week of Tommy working here. Your dad has been gone nearly this entire time. Your face is even mostly healed.

He makes his way up the ladder, walking up behind you. He sits down next to you, dangling his legs over too. He's tired, exhausted really. But he's not worried. He sits next to you in silence. You'd gone in and taken a shower. Your hair was still damp. The collar of your clean wife beater was nearly transparent from the water. He could smell your body wash and whatever it was, it smelled really good. He felt bad, he still hadn't cleaned up.

"How old are you, Tommy?" You break the silence.

"Ah, I'm 32." He mumbles. "And you're doing community service why?" You turn to look at him. He laughs. He gets embarrassed. Usually Tommy didn't mind telling a funny story of him putting some asshole in his place, but when it comes to you, he feels different. Like he needed to be good, he didn't want you to think of him as some convict. "Cause I'm a dumbass."

You raise an eyebrow.

"I like to drink and have too much fun doing it. Get myself into trouble sometimes." He laughs. "Yeah, a fight?" You look at him. "Mhm. Some guy mouthing off to me in a bar." You nod your head. "Was it worth it?" You look up at him. You're clearly judging him. "Well. I suppose you wouldn't have got to spend time with the coolest guy ever if I hadn't.. so." You roll your eyes with a scoff. "Whatever." You laugh. "That stuff is stupid, yknow?" You look at him. He smiles. "I know. You think I'd learn." He mumbles.

"You a cowboy Tommy?" You ask. "Not really nah." He mumbles. "So what's with the cowboy hat?"

"Had it for a long time." He shrugs. You nod. It's a light colored cowboy hat. "Why don't you wear one?" He asks.

"Not my style."

"Yeah, you like band shirts right?" The words have left his mouth before he realizes just how creepy it will sound.

You look at him in surprise. "I.. wait." He laughs. "I ain't a creep, my Neice goes to the same school and I saw you walking in the doors. A few days ago." You nod. "Gotcha." You mumble. "Who's your niece?"

"Sarah Miller."

You nod your head. "How’d you know it was me?"

"That big ol' shiner made her dad point you out, asked how you got it. She's kind've a spoilt brat." He mumbles. You nod your head. "Right." You laugh. "So.. why don't you wear that stuff at school?" He asks. You shrug. "Don't really want people to know. They're mean enough to me as is." You laugh. He nods. "What's with the wife beaters here? Why don't you wear that stuff at home?" He asks.

"I wear these jeans cause they go around my boots. Wear boots cause I'd ruin normal shoes in just a couple days with mud and stuff. The jeans go over the boots so I don't get stickers and thorns in them. And I rip holes in my shirts and get stains all over em. You can buy like 5 of these in a pack at Walmart for cheap and it doesn't matter if I ruin em." You pause. "And I just wear that stuff to school because they're not farm clothes. Not exactly my style anyways." He nods.

"Makes sense to me. I don't know why I keep the hat. Just like it I guess. Never really had a reason to wear it."

He adjusts his hat and you smile, reaching for it. He catches your wrist. "Ah- you know the cowboy hat rule." He smirks. "What?" You look confused.

"You take a cowboys hat, you have to ride the cowboy." He smirks.

Your eyes widen slightly. "I didn't know that, actually. Thanks for your info Tommy, you pervert." He laughs. "Keeps girls from taking hats, right?"

You stand up, snatching it off of his head. "Does it?" You smirk. You take a few slow steps backward. He turns back to look at you. "Oh, it's like that huh?" He smirks. He stands up, looking at you. "You gonna run from me, hm?" He smirks, taking slow steps toward you. You set it down on your head, tugging it down slightly. "How about you come take it back, big boy." You smirk. He makes a move toward you and you go to turn around to run away but he's faster, grasping onto you. You try to squirm out of his grasp, laughing. He makes a 'tsk tsk' sound with his tongue. You squirm even more, until the both of you are tilting over into the hay, a gasp leaving your lips when you land on top of him. "Shit-" he laughs.

Your cheeks are beat red as you straddle his waist.

He picks up his hat that had fallen at some point, propping himself up on the hay bale. "Why don't you show me what you got, cowgirl." He smirks, setting the hat back onto your head. "Don't think you're ready for it."

"Think you'd be surprised." He's sly. You gnaw at your lip for a second.

"Fine." You mumble. You reach for your waistband.

He looks at you in surprise. He really didn't think he'd get this far. Once you've got your jeans off completely, his hands are on your hips. He feels bad because his hands are dirty. You deserve a better situation. You work at his jeans, unbuttoning them and unzipping them. Tugging the waistband of his boxers down to free his cock. He hisses when you clutch him in your hand. Your hands are soft.

You move up onto him, raising yourself onto your knees and lowering yourself onto his cock. The fat tip of his cock presses past your folds, you swallow him up. "Oh fuck-" he gasps. You lower down around him completely. You squeeze around him, wincing slightly. He catches it, but assumes it's just because you're not used to him.

"Shit." You rock your hips forward. He groans out. "Damn baby. You're so tight." He grits his teeth, seeing you smile.

Your nipples harden and he can see them under the wife beater you've got on. You never did put a bra on. He hisses. "I think I like this more than your band shirts darlin'" You lower your head to where he's looking, seeing the way you look. You roll your eyes. "Yeah, don't want every guy starin' at my tits all day, Tommy." You roll your eyes, the entire time you haven't stopped rocking your hips into him. Bracing yourself and lifting off of him. He notices you don't seem to be all of that into it, not at first anyways. It takes a little bit before you relax into him. Letting out small pants. He glances down, swallowing hard when he sees blood. "I didn't mean t'hurt you honey. Been a while? You even been with a guy as old as me?" He sees you roll your eyes.

"No, and no it hasn't been a while. It's been never." You laugh. He grasps hold of your hips to stop you. "What? What do you mean?"

"I've never done this before."

His eyes widen. "Shit-" he stops you completely. "Why didn't you say something? I wouldn't have-"

You laugh. "That's why I didn't say anything." You cut him off.

"Y/N..." he hesitates.

"Tommy. I'm a big girl and I know what I want. You ain't hurting me, I'm fine. Now shut up." You shake your head, rocking into him. He hisses. No wonder you're so tight.

He flips you over. Rutting his hips into you. He slows down, giving you time to adjust to him properly and taking his time with you. You really start to react to him, clutching onto him. Your eyes are slightly wider than before. Pupils blown out. You're letting out little mewls and cries and it's how he knows you're getting close. Tommy has been riding the edge for a few minutes. Not wanting to cum too fast and embarrass himself.

"T-Tommy." You grit your teeth. "I.. I think I-"

"Look at me darlin'" he says through gritted teeth. "Look at me when you cum sweet girl. Show me how you do it." He smiles. You look up at him, clutching onto his shirt. He hits his high the same time you do, thrusting into you harder than he intends. Hearing you cry out when you cum. Eyes rolling back before they screw shut. He doesn't pull out. He fills you right up with his cum.

He tries not to blush, having been so long since he's been with someone. Tommy doesn't think he's ever been with a Virgin before. This was new for him. "I'm sorry if I hurt ya."

"You didn't.. I got blood all over you though Tommy. 'M sorry." You blush.

He shakes his head. "I don't care baby, you know that. I care more that I made you bleed."

You shake your head. "It didn't hurt that bad. Nothing I couldn't handle." You mumble. He laughs, moving to lay next to you on the hay. He traces your lips with his thumb. "You should've told me. Coulda made your first time at least a little more special. It's supposed to be."

"I don't think I would've wanted it any other way Tommy." You laugh. "Just.. pretend like I wasn't."

"I can't do that. To be honest. It's.. the best I've ever felt." He runs his palm down his jeans. He's tucked his dick back into his jeans by now. Clearly Tommy had liked it, way more than you thought he had. You laugh. "Stick around and maybe it won't be your last with me." You mumble, standing up. "Cmon. I'll let you use the bathroom in the house to clean up. Sure Jacob has some old shorts lying around while I wash your jeans." You nod.

A couple hours later, Tommy's jeans are hung up on a clothes line to dry and he lays in your bed next to you, wearing a pair of old shorts that haven't been worn in decades.

You're sound asleep next to him. His phone buzzes with a text.

Howdy Tommy, Jacob here. Turns out the ol' lady likes it in the big city. Y/N is gonna be pissed when I tell her but you and her are gonna be taking on all the work load until the farm is sold.

Tommy swallows hard. This was about to drive a wrench right through his plans.

Thanks for the heads up Jacob. I can always break the news to her if you don't want to. But outta curiosity, how much are you going to sell your farm for?

There ain't much to it anymore. The house is pretty run down. All we got are just some horses, cows, and chickens. Probably a couple hundred thousand.

I'd be interested. Maybe we should wait to tell Y/N. If I buy it, she's more than welcome to finish out her school here.

Tommy swallows hard, glancing at you as you slept. He wondered if you'd hate him or love him for this.

Sounds good to me Tommy. Either way the girl would figure it out.

———

A couple weeks later, the farmhouse is fully in Tommy's name. He drained his savings for it, but it's his. And it's the only thing Tommy has ever had. And even though Joel thought it was a horrible idea, Tommy didn't. Not as long as you were here. Tonight, he was breaking the news to you.

"So uh.. can we talk?" He asks.

Your relationship had been strictly platonic after that day in the hay loft. You hadn't made another move and Tommy hadn't pushed. But since Jacob had been gone for so long, he'd been helping you cook dinner and he'd been inside the house a lot.

He figured you'd be really mad at him after he tells you what he's about to. You sit down on the couch across from him. Opposite him and between the two of you lies an antique coffee table. "What's going on?"

"A couple weeks ago.." he sighs. "The morning after uh... the hay loft." He laughs. Looking down at his hands. They're entwined together in his lap. "I got a text message from Jacob." He mumbles. Running his hand over his stubble. "He said that uh.. his wife liked it in the big city." He looks up at you.

"He ain't coming back, is he?" You ask.

Tommy hesitates for a second. Shaking his head. "He.. said that you and I would be working here until he sells the farm."

He can see the tears gathering in your eyes. "But.. did he say anything about me? About where I go? My horses?" You stand up. "Hey- just sit down alright? Relax." He breathes. He makes his way round the table, sitting down next to you. "He told me how much he was selling the farm for. It wasn't all that much." He bites at his lip. "But no. He didn't say anything about you. And he said everything goes."

You look down. "Why did you wait so long to tell me this?"

"Because. I just.. had to think about some things alright? But the farm sold."

He can see your heart break in your chest, so this is where he needs to say it. Your eyes are fixed on the coffee table in front of you. Tears pool at your waterline but you don't let them fall.

"He sold it to me."

Your eyebrows narrow, eyes drawing up from the coffee table to look at him. "What?"

"I bought it from him."

You say nothing else for a minute. Before standing up. "Tommy, I'm sorry but are you stupid?" He laughs, surprised at the words coming out of your mouth.

"This farm is nothing but a burden. The work sucks and it's worth nothing!"

"You really think so?" He smiles.

"Tommy. You had the opportunity to leave all of this behind and forget about this stupid farm and everything on it. I would've forged his signature on anything you needed to get away. Why didn't you?"

"Cause.. Y/N." He smiles. "I'm nothing but a fucking wreck outside of this farm. Having something that relies on me like these animals, it gives me something to keep out of trouble for. And I don't mind it all. I quite like it actually." He laughs.

"Now.. for.. what I was gonna bring up." He wipes his eyebrow. "You're more than welcome to stay. You don't have to move anything at all, you don't even have to help me with the work load like you do now, just focus on school n I'll take care of ya. On one condition."

You look at him.

"I'll need your help fixing it up." He smiles.

"Okay." You nod. Looking down. "Okay Tommy. Thank you."

"Hey. No need to stress alright? We'll get this farm back in business and get this shit handled." He claps his hands together. "But it's late and you got school tomorrow, so you better go get some sleep." He smiles.

———

For the next couple months, Tommy sells a bunch of old farm equipment and spends every single dime putting it back into the farm. The biggest thing that needed updating was the farm house and the barn. He focused on those things and even had Joel out to help him with it. When the farmhouse and barn were completely updated, it really started coming together.

They had new siding, new paint, the insides were completely updated and remodeled. Even Joel couldn't deny just how nice it looked. The kitchen had brand new countertops, he got your bathroom sink working and not leaking for the first time in your life. It was amazing.

After that though, Tommy hit a dry spell.

Tommy spent the next few months doing contract work with Joel. Outside of bills, he saved every single dime he made. After the winter was over, he started in on everything else and since you had graduated. You slaved away day and night helping him alongside Joel.

You drew up some plans with Tommy and completely changed everything about the farm. Made an entire blueprint for where the animal pins will be, where they'll fit best. He fixed up the horse stables, and found a few new animals to add to the farm. He got in new calves, sold off some cows, got more chickens and added ducks. He even helped you start a garden and it seemed to flourish.

It didn't take too long after that. Once the farm was in the swing of things, it had already paid for itself along with all of Tommy's debt and he didn't owe a single thing aside from regular bills. But groceries didn't cost much since he grew his own, he had a massive savings account for any reason at all. Maybe some vet bills here or there. But that was it.

Joel was proud.

"I gotta say little brother, I'm impressed." Joel nudges him with his elbow. "Trust me, if you're shocked, I'm even more shocked." He laughs. "You've done pretty damn good. I mean this is the longest you've been off probation in how many years?" Joel laughs. "Ah. I think I'm over all that stuff. I love it out here. No people to piss me off. I'm always busy so I got no free time to fuck this up for myself. I think I'll hold onto it." He smiles.

"I gotta ask though." Joel's eyes follow your form as you walk out of the newly finished chicken coop.

Same tight bootcut jeans and a wife beater. "What about the girl?"

"What about her?"

"Why'd you take her in? Trying to play dad?"

Tommy laughs. "Oh god no. Y/N.. she's about like talking to a fifty year old woman. She doesn't get bossed around and she's a good girl. Works real fucking hard." Tommy slicks his hair back. "Jacob is a real prick, I only met the guy once though. You know the story. I couldn't just tell her to get lost."

"You ain't like.. in a relationship with her or something like that... right?"

"Nah, nothing like that." Tommy's cheeks flush.

"You said that like you wouldn't be mad if you were."

"Well.. we're definitely past the friend stage if you know what I mean." Tommy laughs, leaning up against the fence post. "Jesus Christ Tommy. The hell happened? That girl is real young." Joel shakes his head. "She's over eighteen Joel. And It only happened once, 'bout a year ago. Couple months after I first got here." Joel nods. "What exactly happened?"

Tommy laughs. "She took my hat."

Joel is confused for a second, realization crossing over his face when he realizes the kind of hat Tommy has on.

Tommy leans off the post and starts walking away. "Jesus Christ." Joel rolls his eyes. "Cowboy hat rules Joel!" Tommy calls to him. Joel starts to follow after him. "Crazy motherfucker.." he shakes his head.

———

You sat across from Tommy, you'd made him dinner.

You couldn't be more grateful for Tommy coming into your life. You'd most likely be in some dingy apartment in the city or on the streets. He saved you pretty much. Thats why you'd gotten him a gift. You had just finished dinner, Tommy was looking at his phone. "If you wanted to go get some sleep, I'll pick up." He looks up at you. "Alright." You smile. "Before I go though, I got you something." He looks up at you. You pass over the box. It's a gift box and he looks confused.

"What's this for?" He asks. Sliding it closer to him. "It's.. a thank you." You mumble. He opens it and sees snake skin. "It's a hat band." You mumble. "Was gonna go for copperhead but the western diamond back had the rattles crossed over each other on the front." You blush. "That's awesome." He smiles. "Show me how to put it on?" He asks. "Yeah. Course." He takes his hand off and sets it down. You pick up the hat band and slide it down onto the cowboy hat. Noting to steal it and clean it for him later because it's dirty. Once the hat band is on, he places it back on his head.

"I appreciate it. This couldn't have been cheap." You roll your eyes. "Doesn't matter how much it was. It's to say thank you. For.. takin' care of me." He smiles. "I'll always take care of you, alright? Besides. I need help here. Even when you decide to run off at some point." He laughs.

"Now go get some sleep honey."

You stand up and push your chair in, going to walk past him.

Just as you pass by, your hand moves up. Snatching the cowboy hat off of his head. He turns to look at you. Flirty smile on his lips. "Orrr..." you smile. Setting the hat right on top of your head. "Maybe we can pick it up later." You've got an evil grin on your face. He stands up. "Think I like your idea better." He chuckles. He walks toward you, lifting you up so you can wrap your legs around his waist, carrying you up the stairs. "This is how it should've been for your first time, you know?" He smiles. You roll your eyes. "I think if someone asked me 'how'd you lose your virginity?' And I told them it was in a hay loft with a farm hand, it'd be more interesting than a bed." You smirk. He laughs. Rolling his eyes.

"You're somn else." He mumbles. He sets you down at the edge of the bed. Reaching for his waistband. You were actually wearing shorts and a t-shirt for once. Something you'd picked out. He offered to buy you better clothes but you didn't want them. Just wanted the comfortable ones.

He takes a deep breath as you tug your shirt over your head. Seeing all of you for the first time. When he's gotten his clothes off and they're discarded on the floor, he's back on the bed. You're crawling on top of him. Making due, cowboy hat rules after all.

You line him up with your entrance, he gasps when you sheath yourself on his cock. Feeling your tight walls once again. You look down at him. Raising your hips up and watching him grit his teeth as you rock into him. He tugs you down, your chest flush to his and he kisses you for the first time.

He doesn't let go, even when you're ready to draw back for air, he keeps you there. When he finally pulls away, you sit back. Sitting straight up on him now. Your nipples are hard, lips blushing and swollen from his now. He glides his hands up your hips and cups your breasts in his hands. Toying with your nipples. Your hair is damp with sweat and it's the sexiest thing Tommy has ever seen. You. All you. How the hell he got himself here after nothing but being a complete ass, he'll never understand. He runs his hands up your thighs, resting his palms on the tops of them. "Stay." The words leave his lips before he has time to stop himself.

You pause your movements. Chest rising and falling with each breath you take. "What?"

"Stay here with me."

"I'm.. here Tommy." You breathe. "No. I mean.." he hesitates. "I want you here with me, always. I know you hate it here but.. I can take care of you."

"Are you.. asking me if I'll-"

"I want you to be mine. Here. Forever."

Your lips start to part in surprise, your eyes seeming glossed over. "I don't hate it here Tommy. To be honest.. it's the best it's ever been. I didn't want to leave." You shake your head. "I'll stay Tommy. But you have to stay on the straight and narrow. If you start to fuck up, I'll leave." You look down at him. "I wouldn't dream of fucking that up. Not with you. Not here."

You rock your hips into him again. Picking up the pace. "You're mine, I'll show you." He breathes. He grasps you, flipping you over like he'd done before. But this time, he doesn't slow. He's more rough than before, fucking you. He wants you to feel him. Every bit of him. He holds onto you, tight. He keeps you steady as he hammers his hips into yours, the bed frame slamming into the wall with each forceful thrust he takes. Tears gather in your eyes, not sure if you were exactly ready to take this much force but you were going to. You can feel that knot forming in your stomach. The coil wound up tight, you cry when it snaps. Sending you spiraling. Your pussy clamps down around Tommy's cock and he hisses.

He can feel you throbbing around him and it sends him into his own orgasm. Whining out. Again, he doesn't pull out. Your eyes widen when you can feel him. All of him. You're full, his warmth settles between your legs and he collapses on top of you. He's panting.

Right here, right now. This is nothing Tommy imagined he'd ever want. But it's what he needed. And he was so grateful for it.

[blond-yallternative]

TSC boys will be TSC boys (ft. Cody, my beloved nb)

Low-stakes fanfic in which 3 backliners (Cody, Lucas, and Jean [included against his will]) bet 3 strikers (Jeremy, Nabil, and Derrick) that if the backliners can keep the strikers from making any successful shots on goal during a team exercise, then Jeremy will get his ears pierced.

Of course Jean balls out and so do the other 2 so the strikers lose.

Jeremy is deathly afraid of needles (in my head), and Nabil can't join them because he's going home to eat dinner with his family, but Pat joins in last-minute.

Pls be kind this is my first ever fanfic (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

By the time practice was over and they had all showered, changed, and dispersed to their cars, it was past six in the evening. The drive to their destination took less than fifteen minutes, and soon they were pulling into the parking lot of a low, dingy strip mall that looked like it had needed a fresh coat of paint about two years ago. The studio that Nabil had Googled for them was nestled in the far right corner under a large sign emblazoned Black Eye Tattoo. Between the second and third words, a large eye gazed out over the parking lot with a swirling design where its iris and pupil should’ve been. After they parked, Jeremy drummed his fingers on the steering wheel out of time with the pop song on the radio as he stared up at the sign. A few moments later, they spotted the rest of the boys and Cody heading towards them, and Jeremy twisted the key to kill the engine with a long-suffering sigh. He shooed Derrick off his car when he tried to strike a provocative pose on the hood, and Pat held the door of the place open for all of them as a doorbell chimed over their heads.

Jean was more than a little intimidated by the woman standing behind the counter inside. Her jet black hair hung in choppy bangs over her forehead but the rest was tucked behind her ears, making it easy to see the neon rings that stretched her earlobes to twice the normal size. Her haughty gaze didn’t change as the six of them filed through the door and crowded the small lobby space. Pat and Derrick flopped down on the low, bloodred velvet couch set against the far wall, so Jean and Jeremy leaned against the front windows. Cody and Lucas eagerly approached the front counter. The air felt near-frigid after the California heat outside, and Jean savored the sunshine warming his back.

“Aren’t you gonna go check out the options?” Derrick asked Jeremy, who cringed. “I’d rather not look at any of this until absolutely necessary,” he said, and Derrick smirked. At the counter, Lucas and Cody were explaining the situation to the indifferent-seeming woman. Jean squinted to read the cursive scrawl on her metal name tag. Cherie, with a little hand-drawn border of black flowers and vines. 

“All the stones here are available for lobe piercings, organized by size,” she said, dragging her finger in a line over one section of the glass counter that separated her from the lobby. Jean listened a little closer than he normally would, but her voice carried no hint of a French accent. “All our metals are surgical-grade steel, and they come in silver, gold, rose gold, or black finishes. No difference in price.”

“What’s the cheapest option?” Lucas asked. Cherie gave him an unimpressed look that said she was sick of servicing poor college students, but she tapped a black fingernail against the glass. “This one, three millimeter cubic zirconia. $65.”

“That’s quite the chunk of change for two little holes,” Pat muttered from the couch. Jean figured he hadn’t meant to be overheard, but Cherie said, “One.” 

The group looked at her. She clarified. “The $65 is for one piercing. And that doesn’t include tip,” she added, giving them a pointed look. When half the group made a sound of disbelief, Jeremy shushed them with a “Hey, guys.”

Lucas rounded on Cody. “So you’re loaded or something?” he asked, gesturing to their heavily-studded face. 

Cody grinned. “My friend’s aunt owns a tattoo shop. She does mine for free.” 

Lucas slapped his palms on the counter and sighed in dramatic relief. “Well, call her up then!” 

“Dude, she lives in Arizona.” 

Lucas sank to rest his head on his flattened hands in defeat. In the end it was decided that Jeremy would only be getting one ear pierced, but even when Cody and Lucas pooled the cash in their wallets they could only come up with $59.37. With a sigh, Pat chipped in a $20 bill to cover the rest plus tip, and Cherie swiped up the money to store it in the cash register. She surveyed all six of them now standing closer to her counter, and sighed. “You all want to come back, don’t you?” They nodded, and Jeremy said meekly, “Yes ma’am, if that’s okay.” She sighed again but tossed an impatient “Come on, then,” over her shoulder as she strode towards the back. She led them to what appeared to be the largest of the individual rooms of the main part of the studio, and bade Jeremy to sit on the black-cushioned chair in the center. There was one smaller plastic chair to the left of it, and Pat pushed Jean towards it before he could make a beeline for the back of the room. Jean sat as Cherie told the rest of them, “I’m going to need some space. Go stand in the corner over there.” The four of them obediently shuffled over and leaned against the graffiti-covered wall.

Cherie asked the room, “What’s the finish?” 

“Uhhhhh,” Lucas droned, and Jeremy looked to Jean, of all people. Cherie repeated the options to him. “Silver, gold, rose gold, or black.” Jean thought for a moment, studying Jeremy’s face. 

Well, it was not going to be black. But which of the other three? He narrowed his eyes, considering. Spray-painted daffodils, the Trojan statue from their first walk through campus, and a yellow cardboard dog flashed through his mind. “Gold,” he said decidedly, and Cherie nodded in agreement. Jeremy smiled at Jean, but the expression was a bit tight. 

“And which ear am I doing?” 

“Which one’s the gay ear?” Derrick asked, and Lucas snickered. Jeremy twisted in his chair to give them a look, but Patrick doubled down on it. “If the shoe fits, my friend,” he said with a shrug. “Cody, make them stop,” Jeremy complained, but Cody was too busy laughing along with Lucas. Jeremy sighed and faced forward again. “I’ll just do the right ear. I normally sleep on my left side.” After a beat he added, “Please don’t tell them whether or not that’s the gay ear,” and Lucas and Cody’s laughter rang out again.

He held still when Cherie commanded, and then inspected the purple dot she marked on his right ear with the handheld mirror she passed him. He turned and tucked a stray curl back so Jean could see it, too. It looked perfectly centered, so Jean nodded. 

Satisfied with her preparations, Cherie swiveled on her wheeled stool to rub hand sanitizer over her hands and pull on black latex gloves. At the snap they made against her wrists, Jeremy winced. “I like your nametag,” he said randomly, and Jean heard one of the boys snicker. Jeremy continued hurriedly, “You know, Jean here is French. You two might get along.” 

“Ooooh, parlez vous français?” Cody said in a ridiculous high-pitched voice. Lucas laughed maniacally as Derrick replied, “Oui oui, monsieur dumbass.” Jean looked around to see which of the instruments in the room he could use to put himself out of his misery as quickly as possible, but Cherie laughed, too. 

“I don’t speak French, actually. This is just what my grandpa used to call me. I don’t even pronounce it correctly, I know, but I still like it.” The entire room turned to look at Jean in anticipation. 

He gave Cody and Derrick a flat look. “I’m not going to say it.” Various sounds of protest arose from their corner, but Cherie started fixing the gold stud onto a long, sharp instrument and Jean saw Jeremy’s face go positively ashen. When she looked up, Cherie saw it too. 

“Are you afraid?” she asked bluntly, and Jeremy didn’t hesitate before nodding. The boys giggled from the corner. She kept her eyes on Jeremy, her expression unchanged. “That’s not a problem. It’s better if you look away, not close your eyes.” She dug her heels into the floor to wheel herself closer to Jeremy’s right side. “Would you prefer if I counted down, or just did it?” 

Jeremy swallowed. “A countdown, please.” 

Jean could practically feel the anxiety radiating off him with every breath. With a sigh, he shifted his chair to be parallel with Jeremy’s, and didn’t face him as he rested an elbow on Jeremy’s armrest. He cleared his throat. He could feel Cherie and Jeremy’s eyes on him but refused to look their way, and after another second he felt Jeremy’s hand curl under his arm to grip his bicep. His palm was warm and even sweatier than Jean expected, but Jean didn’t pull away. He ignored the whispered conversation happening in the back of the room. 

“Ready?” Jeremy nodded with a tense set to his jaw. Jean grimaced at the crushing grip his captain had on his arm but didn’t let himself move an inch. 

“Okay. Three, two, one,” Cherie said calmly, and Jean blinked in surprise. She had pushed the needle easily through Jeremy’s ear right after two. Jeremy blinked too, then loosed an exaggerated sigh of relief and said, “Dang, that actually wasn’t so bad! Do you do that trick with everyone?” His grip slackened, but he didn’t take his hand off Jean's arm.

“Only the wimps,” Cherie said matter-of-factly, and Jeremy laughed, a little giddy. The boys and Cody peeled off the wall to come admire the stud, and Jeremy only removed his hand from Jean when Cherie passed him the mirror again. Jean tried to be subtle about rubbing the now-sweaty inside of his arm against his shirt, but Jeremy was turning his head this way and that to see the piercing from different angles, completely oblivious. Cody gushed compliments, and Derrick said, “Yeah, gold was definitely the right choice.” Patrick clapped a hand on Jeremy's shoulder in approval.

Jeremy swung his legs over to hang them off the chair and face Jean with a beaming smile.

"What do you think?"

Jean considered the sparkle of the little earring in Jeremy’s lobe, bright against his flushed skin, and met Jeremy’s eyes. “It suits you,” he said simply. And it was true.

Somehow, Jeremy’s smile grew, and the stud twinkled like a miniature star as he kicked his feet.

As they all spilled back into the lobby a staggered chorus of “Thank you, Cherie!” arose from all five of the others. Pat already had his hand on the horizontal bar of the front door when Jean realized they had all turned to look expectantly at him again. He sighed and faced the counter. 

“Merci, ma chérie.” 

The sweet smile that curved Cherie’s lips seemed to soften her entire hardcore appearance, and she waved them all out amidst the chiming of the doorbell and the others’ whoops of triumph.

[clonerightsagenda]

I’ve been using the RLPL as my main book hookup, and to their credit, they’re trying. It started out as the lost and found car and before you know it it’s filled halfway to the roof with discarded James Pattersons, because those things breed in liminal spaces, like as soon as you put your airport book down because you just can’t take one more dime store action flick-in-a-brick it starts doing the nasty with an abandoned Michael Crichton doorstopper and there you go, a new Alex Cross adventure enters the world. There were so many books piling up someone installed a little free library, and then a librarian who got a condo at Park Street Station took it over. Set up a reciprocal borrowing relationship with BPL and everything, you fill out this form placing your hold and saying what your schedule’s like, and a page runs to the station and meets your train when you get there. Now that’s what I call service. Of course, business major bozo Bespin keeps banning things, but is that going to stop Red Line’s badass book jockeys? No way no how. When RLPD comes knocking they just dangle the books out the car window on fishing line and haul them back in when the fuzz moves on. That’s how I found out about the library, saw a train pull into the station with Transport Justice: Designing Fair Transportation Systems hanging out the window like they were trawling for urban planning students. I hopped on to let them know their book was trying to Shawshank its way to freedom and they told me don’t worry Mallory, it’s all part of the plan. They’ve got a decent vet med section actually, since program grads offload their old textbooks.

Doing a Mallory piece for Podcast Girls Week and finally bringing my vision of Red Line's library to the world

[sugar-omi]

omg idk if u do nsfw request but could you like write jealous cove x fem reader nsfw? i think cove isn’t the type to feel possessively jealous but there’s times he can’t let it go but it’s not a like “your mine!!” type possessive more like a “im yours!!” possessive? IDK IF THAT MAKES SENSE SORRY

DW IT MAKES A LOTTA SENSE N I AGREE W EVERYTHING U JUST SAID!! i hope i lived up to your rq 🙏🙏 i enjoyed writing this sm

tags : NSFW, fem reader, jealous cove, service top cove, hand jobs, penetration, between step 3 and 4, you are in college, mention of wanting to marry you

(mentions step 3 "happiness" moment and you getting upset when cove doubted you'd still be together at the end of summer in step 3.

also i'm thinking abt the patreon moment n how cove likes just a hint of pain n runnning w it, i'll never recover from it!)

synopsis : cove is jealous and worried about you finding another man, so you ease his anxiety.

you have always reassured cove that you love him, that he makes you the happiest girl in the world. you promised him that he doesn't have to do anything special to make you happy, that he alone makes you happy.

cove can't help but feel loved every time he thinks about it. and after you got mad at him for doubting the strength of your relationship, brought to tears by the notion, cove promised himself to never make you cry sad or angry tears ever again if he can help it.

but you're standing there, talking with a classmate of from one of your classes and you're laughing and he's looking at you with one too many hearts in his eyes and a darker voice in the smallest crease of cove's mind wonders if you'd like if he looked like that.

hair styled in a way that was casual but handsome, and a ribbed turtle neck under a cream jacket.

cove quickly dismisses that thought, knowing you prefer him in less layers and that you'd never ask him to change his style unless the weather called for more layers must to his chagrin.

unable to take anymore, broken by the guy putting a hand on your shoulder. cove steps out the car, easily taking long strides and he calls out to you.

"y/n!"

you turn around, happy as a peach to see your boyfriend and cove's heart throbs at how easily you forget about the guy in front of you. "are you ready to go eat? its gonna be lunch rush soon..." cove bites h is lips, wondering if thats a good enough excuse to get you out of this guys reach before he puts too many moves on you.

"yeah, just-" you adjust your backpack straps and turn to address your classmate but you step towards cove, taking his hand in yours. "i gotta go, but you should check the online class board, you can download the notes from there! bye!"

cove pulls you away as you barely finish your greetings, opening the car door for you but he slams his own door and winces but pulls out the lot nonetheless, making the drive back to your shared home.

"cove? what's wrong?" you put your hand on his thigh soothingly but cove just jumps at the sudden touch, his head hits the steering wheel, trying to use the break at the stop light to push away his jealousy.

knowing he can't hide from you, cove address you, looking at you with teary puppy eyes, not wanting to upset you but his heart is in turmoil.. "i'm jealous. i know i shouldn't be but- but! that guy was definitely hitting on you and i know you love me but i'm worried you'll leave me for someone better an-" cove whimpers, blinking his eyes as he focuses on the road again and turns onto your street.

"cove... i'm so sorry baby, i- i didn't even notice he was hitting on me. he was just asking about what he missed during class... if it helps, he's only in my elective class! we're not even in the same major so-"

cove cuts you off, quickly and smoothly parking the car in your designated space. "it's not just him. like.. baxter, or derek. i know we haven't heard from baxter in awhile but he was so smooth and flirty and confident. and derek, well derek is nice and reliable and.. i don't know." cove leans over the console.

"i don't want you to leave me for someone better, i know you said you won't but. i love you so much. i wanna be your's forever, i wanna marry you one day! i love being your boyfriend so much, y/n.." cove frets, pushing his head into your hand when you cup his cheek, fighting tears and failing.

"cove. i love you. you'll always be mine." you kiss his face, hovering over his lips, "you'll always be my special lover boy."

cove purrs, melting into your kiss. when you pull away, cove looks at you with hooded lids, "l-lets go inside..."

you barely make it through the door, your hands running under cove's shirt and he trembles trying to put the key in the door, steadying when you wrap your hand around his and guide him.

when the door unlocks, you pull cove in, kissing his neck as you reach behind him to flip the lock and slip the chain through the track. "y-y/n, ahh.." cove mutters breathlessly, some other words escaping his mouth in a jumbled mess but you hear a stuttered "feels good" and you keep going, pulling him through the house to your bedroom.

on the way, your shoes are left haphazardly in front of the door and a trail of clothes breadcrumb the hallway.

you push cove onto the bed, stepping out of your bottoms and left in just your underwear, you help cove unbutton his shorts, pushing away shaky hands.

you slip off his boxers, deciding to take care of cove while he's still pliable. "shh baby, let me take care of you.." you settle in his lap and cove throws his head back in a shaky moan when your hand wraps around his sensitive cock, stroking him slowly and swiping your skilled hands over his weeping slit, knowing how to work your boyfriend's body in the best ways.

"y/n..." cove whines, bucking his hips into your hand as you grope him through his boxers.

"t-tighter, please.. ah!" cove groans when your hand tightens around his cock the way he likes, feeling a knot build in his abdomen at your increasingly faster strokes. "i'm, i'm close.. mh-" cove gasps, finger tips digging into your hips.

in his lusty haze, cove looks at your bra and works the front clasp the way you showed him. you grin knowingly, enjoying cove's blush as his eyes train on how your breast bounce when the clasp comes undone.

you arch your back, encouraging cove to play with your chest. his lips clasp on your collar bone, nibbling and sucking lightly so as to not leave marks but when you flex your hand around his cock cove bites particularly hard, sure enough to leave a bruise.

something primal inside of him feels pleased at that.

cove shudders, looking up from your chest to meet your eyes. "w-why did you stop?.."

you smile, kissing your lovely boy on the cheek. "don't want you to finish yet." you reach for a condom, urging cove to lean against the pillows.

you're not too worried about stretching yourself as you'd had sex the night before and only applying ample lube for what will definitely be a bit of a long night, thankful your classes are over for the day.

cove takes his place, shaking when you roll the condom over his sensitive cock. you straddle his lap, hands gripping his shoulders as you line him up with your cunt.

you sink onto his cock, moaning sharply when his tip hits your bladder from inside, your cunt sensitive and nearly dripping with your slick.

when you finally take him to the hilt, his cock rubbing all the sensitive spots inside you and reaching deeper than you could ever reach on your own.

cove gasps and holds you tighter when your cunt trembles around him, kissing you as you gently bounce on his lap. "cove, cove..." you mutter, breathless and your eyes water at the sensation of his cock dragging against your gummy walls.

cove grips your hips, grinding your hips together making you moan loudly. "can i.. *swallows* can i move too?"

you nod, whining when cove instantly bucks his hips into yours, taking the lead at your instruction.

you pull cove into a kiss, your tongues dancing together before the kiss turns gentle and loving. breaking away for air, cove trails kisses down your neck as you gasp and moan, his cock hitting your walls in a way that makes you leak with more slick and clench tightly around him.

"i'm gonna cum, fuck please cove! more!"

cove reaches for your clit, his thumb circling your sensitive clit as he brings you over the edge. "i love you y/n, so happy to be yours.. please cum, wanna feel you cum around me." cove whispers sweet and dirty words in your ear, "you feel so good.. ahh fuck, thats it.. agh fuck!"

cove trembles, cumming into the condom as your pussy tightens and your thighs shake on either side of him.

cove collapses into your shoulder, wrapping his arms around you and you both shake in each others embrace.

"i love you." you kiss cove's head, coming down from your orgasm.

cove kisses your neck back, his lips tickle against your sweaty skin as he speaks, "i love you too.."

"cove? what're you-"

you pull yourself off his lap, cove throwing the tied off condom in the trash and before you can get up he pulls you back into his lap.

cove's brilliant blue eyes drill into you, sparking the flames of your heart and your cunt throbs with need. "i still want you.."

you laugh, happily sinking into the bed with cove on top of you.

cove grabs a condom from the open drawer and rolls it over his sensitive but still hard cock, quickly sinking into your warmth.

he moans shakily, drawing his hips back and slamming back into you, your legs wrapped loosely around his waist so he can fuck you and still steal a kiss from you.

cove leans into your neck, his body supported by his forearms but he still looms over you. "i love you.. so happy to be your boyfriend, ngh-.. i-i love belonging to you."

you scratch down cove's back. "you're mine.. ah!" cove picks up the pace, ignited by you agreeing that he's yours.

cove mumbles happily into your neck, most of his chant muffled by his face buried in your neck; sucking marks and hiding at the same time. most of it is moans, but you hear a few "yours.. yours..." among his moans.

cove grunts at the use of the nickname, buoyed to go further and he reaches between your bodies to rub your clit.

feeling that knot in your stomach, you tell cove you're coming. "c-c'mon cove! make me cum, want my sunshine to make me cum!"

you reach orgasm together for the second time, cove dripping sweat onto you.

you both pant, the temperature making you squirm.

cove speaks first, "..i love you, love you so much. i'm sorry i got jealous.."

"its okay cove, if this is how its gonna be you get jealous more often!"

cove groans, embarrassed by your teasing. "carry me to the shower?"

cove pops up, bright like an obedient puppy. "yes!"

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

There's Beauty in Tragedy: Part Five

Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Warnings: angst, stalking, being attacked, break in

Summary: Someone is stalking you. That much is evident, but you never thought they'd take it as far as to break into your home and make you understand that you're not the one in control here.

There's Beauty in Tragedy Masterlist

Square Filled: this is not. adrill for @badthingshappenbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

He’s parked outside Y/N’s expensive house but he’s managed to hack into her security cameras as easily as he does laundry. She’s inside her bedroom getting undressed for the night. Damn, she looks better than she did when he last saw her years ago. She pulls on the country-fair t-shirt her ex-girlfriend got for her in college. He remembers that night. Everyone in school went to that thing.

She climbs into bed and keeps her bedside lamp on for a source of light. There are so many things in her room that it makes him sick. She is so materialistic. She makes all this money and doesn’t do anything meaningful with it. She fills her house with trinkets and expensive things to make it look like she’s this glamorous person. She’s not. She’s putting up a facade.

He could go inside her house right now and take it all from her in an instant… if he wanted to, that is.

After a long and hard day at work, you’re ready to wind down and sleep easy knowing you’re about to see your girlfriend in two days. You grab your phone and FaceTime her so you can see her gorgeous face before bed. She answers from inside her hotel room with room service on the table. She’s on a case a few hours from where you are by plane.

“Hi, gorgeous,” you grin.

“Hey, I thought you’d be sleeping by now.”

“I couldn't go to bed without saying goodnight to you. I miss you.”

“I come home in two days,” she chuckles.

“I can’t wait that long. Maybe I’ll head to the airport and fly to you. Maybe I’ll surprise you in bed.”

“You’d cost me my job because we wouldn't leave it.”

“Tempting,” you smirk. “How was your day?”

“Long. It took us longer to build a profile of the unsub which resulting him killing two more women. We finally got it ready and gave it out. I’m hoping we have him tomorrow or else I’ll have to stay out here a little bit longer.”

“I just want you to stay safe even if that means you being away from me for a bit longer. You’ll get the bad guy. You always do.”

“My team does. I’m just the liaison.”

“That team would be nothing without you. You’re a vital part. Don’t forget that,” you wink.

“How was your day?”

“Productive. I had a meeting with a new client, someone I’ve never worked with before. No, I can’t tell you who it is but just know she’s A-list.”

“Wow, good for you.” JJ sees the slightly upset look on your face. “What’s wrong? Did something else happen today?”

“I got a call from Mark again. I didn’t think he’d be so bold to call. He called my assistant to set up a meeting with me, but I overheard her say his name. I told her never to make an appointment with him and to decline all of his calls.”

“Are you sure you don’t want my team’s help?”

“I can handle it but I love how much you worry.”

“I will always worry when it comes to you.”

“Alright, angel, I have to go. I’m tired, but I will talk to you tomorrow morning and I’ll see you in two days.”

“Okay, goodnight,” she smiles.

Both of you kiss the screens before hanging up. You sleep good knowing she is safe where she is and you’re safe where you are.

The next morning, instead of going to the office and working on your designs, you have to stop by one of your stores to check on how they’re doing. It’s so weird. The second you stepped foot out of the door, you felt like someone was watching you. Even now while you’re walking down the street to your store, you feel eyes on you.

You stop outside of it and look at the busy street behind you. People hustle to get to their jobs, cars drive by with passengers, and none of them are looking at you or watching you. Why are you feeling this way? You push down this feeling and walk into your store with a smile.

“Y/N! Welcome back!” the store manager greets.

“Betty, it’s so nice to see you again. How are things here?”

“Just fine. We’re doing pretty well this week, though, product is running a bit low.”

“Yeah, I have more in stock which I’ll bring tomorrow.”

“Oh, I almost forgot, someone came in asking for you.”

“Who?”

“She didn’t leave a name but she did leave this.”

Betty takes you to the back where a bouquet of flowers is. It’s your favorite kinds of flowers all rolled into one bouquet. Attached to the vase is a card, and you rip it off to read what it says.

Nice to see you still have that country-fair t-shirt I got you. You looked so good in it last night.

Fear creeps up your neck because how the hell did this person know what you were wearing last night? You did wear an old t-shirt your ex-girlfriend got you, but you’re confused because you haven’t talked to her since you graduated college.

“Are you sure she didn’t leave a name?”

“Yeah. She came in twenty minutes ago. She might still be outside.”

You immediately leave the store in search of the woman you once knew. People pass you by on their way to malls or their jobs but none of them are Courtney. The feeling of someone watching you has increased so you head back inside to escape it.

“Thank you for accepting the flowers. I’ll take them.” Betty hands them over and talks about the revenue for this week which has been in the high positives for quite some time now. “Keep up the good work. We’ll talk about raises next week because I’m impressed with your work. I’ll bring more product tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Y/N. We’ll see you tomorrow,” she grins.

You leave the store with the flowers only to toss them into the dumpster next to the store. You keep the card for evidence. You’re not sure what this is but you don’t think it’s smart to throw it away. On your way back to your office, you call the police to make a report that someone was watching you last night and left you flowers with a creepy note attached to them. You’re not sure what they can do with that information but at least a report was documented.

The second you get off the phone with the police, you call JJ.

“Hey, can I call you back in a bit?”

“I think I’m being stalked,” you blurt.

“Excuse me,” she says to someone in the room with her. She steps out to give herself some privacy. “Did you say you’re being stalked?”

“I’m sorry for bothering you. I know you’re busy--”

“No, what’s going on?”

“I went to one of my stores to check on things when the manager said someone dropped off flowers for me. I got a note with the flowers that suggested someone was watching me last night. Whoever this is mentioned a shirt I was wearing last night but I was alone.”

“Did you find out who left you the flowers?”

“No, but it’s implied my ex-girlfriend did it because I was wearing the shirt she gave me in college. I can’t think of why she’d leave me notes or how she knew what I was wearing last night. I haven’t seen or talked to her since I graduated college. I called the police to make a report about it but I wanted you to know.”

“We caught the unsub today. We’re heading home as soon as possible. We should get there really late at night or tomorrow morning depending on when the rest of the team wants to leave. I’ll help you out when I do get home.”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t think it’s anything serious that the FBI needs to get involved with.”

“I’m helping you, Y/N. I have the means to. Just let me look into it, at least.”

“Fine. I gotta go. Sorry I took you away from your job. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Maybe this was a prank. Maybe someone wants to scare you. How did this person know what you were wearing? Your security lights didn’t go off last night so there was no one close enough to your house to see what you were wearing. Did they hack into your cameras? If they did, they’d have to be really smart because you have a very sophisticated system.

Your paranoia doesn’t go away even when you’re getting ready for bed. You still feel like someone is watching you but you can’t see anyone inside or outside your house. Maybe this is just a bad feeling and it’ll go away tomorrow.

You’re maybe three hours into the night when you’re woken up by your house alarm going off. You shoot up in bed and look around the dark room, afraid that if you turn on the light, whoever caused the alarm to go off will know you’re awake. 

Plus, you know your own house better than anyone. You can navigate through the darkness.

You grab your phone and keep the backlight on dim as you go to your camera app. Every single camera you own has been disabled so you’re looking at a completely black screen. You have no eyes anywhere. You have no idea who is inside your house. The alarm shuts off presumably by the person who set it off.

The fear you felt from your first robbery is slowly coming back but you have to keep a level head. Panic is what kills people. You get out of bed just as you hear someone rummaging through your house. It sounds like they are getting closer so you dash to your closet and hide behind some clothes.

Your alarm is connected to the police so they should have gotten an alarm but you still dial 911 just to be safe.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

JJ is thankful that the team wanted to come home earlier so she can be with you sooner. She is eager to get to your place and get to the bottom of who is making your life hell. Her phone rings as soon as she gets into her car, and she answers it when she sees it’s her friend from the VAPD.

“Josie, what’s going on?”

“You told me to call you if anything happened at Y/N’s house.”

JJ doesn’t have to hear the whole story to convince her team to head immediately to your house. The entire street is blocked off by police and fire and ambulance are already at your house. She doesn’t want to seem desperate by running into your house like a maniac but she does speed walk to get there. You’re sitting on the couch with a cut on your head that a paramedic is looking at.

“Y/N!”

“JJ,” you whimper.

She joins your side on the couch while the rest of the team questions the police and tries to figure out what happened here.

“Oh, my God. Are you okay? What happened?”

“I don’t know. I woke up to someone breaking into my house. I was sleeping and I checked the cameras but they were all disabled. I ran into my closet and called 911 but he heard me and came after me. Either I hit my head or he slammed me into something but he definitely tried attacking me. Police were here in under five minutes. He heard the sirens and bolted. I didn’t see his face.”

You’re almost in tears from how scared you are and your whole body is shaking from fear. JJ pulls you closer and smooths down your hair and rubs your back.

“Come here. I’m right here now. You’re okay.”

“I don’t know how he disabled my cameras or if he stole anything but I’m terrified.”

“I know. You’re staying with me tonight, okay?”

“Okay,” you whisper.

You hate feeling like a little child because that’s what fear feels like to you. It makes you cower in and reverts your mind back to what it was like as a child. You hate feeling physically vulnerable.

“I’ll be right back. I’ll be right over there.” JJ leaves the paramedic to finish his job while she joins the officers whom Hotch and Derek are talking to. “Do you have any suspects?”

“None that fits the description she gave us. However, she did file a report about flowers and a note being left at one of her stores earlier today. I guess someone was watching her sleep the night before. An ex-girlfriend she seems to think. I’ll have someone get in contact with her and have her come down for questioning.”

“Okay. Is she okay to leave here?”

“Yeah, as soon as the paramedics are done checking her out. This place will remain a crime scene for a few days. There’s blood inside her closet presumably from her but we want to make sure.”

“Of course,” JJ nods. When the paramedic says you don’t need to go to the hospital, JJ helps you pack a bag. “You’re going to be okay. My team is on this and there is no one better to help.”

“I know. I just hate that it had to come to this.”

“Come on, let’s go home and rest.”

Fuck. She just had to fight back. He almost had her but the bitch put up a good fight on him. The second he heard those sirens it was either her or him, so he ran. He’ll get her another time but he has to wait until the smoke clears with the police.

He sits in his car a few blocks over with his eyes closed and mouth parted. As terrible as it was that he didn't get her, he got a rush of adrenaline just from being there. Damn, he missed that. He hasn’t felt this way in a really, really long time.

Now that he got a taste of it again, he’s just getting started.

x

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