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#Car Suspension Type
hawnks · 11 months
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Enough dancing around it.
I need a loverboy. One who is insane though. Plans out in excruciating detail all the firsts (firsts dates first kisses first oral fem receiving), loves to gift roses and champagne, says I love you every ten minutes and always means it sincerely and with his whole heart. Takes everything incredibly seriously, cherishes every moment with his lover, would literally kill someone for hurting his little puppy and probably already has.
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achingly-shy · 10 months
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whoever was in charge of camera angles in daredevil should be in charge of camera angles for every marvel project ever
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cherry-leclerc · 22 days
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don’t lock the door ☆ cs55
genre: fluff, humor, smut, angst, thriller/suspense, mentions of depression, mentions of suicide, mentions of homicide, erotic literature, tragedy
word count: 9k
An oleander is beautiful—yet deadly. You’re beautiful—yet deadly. But Carlos has always been gentle, and has always known how to take care of things he loves. And even if he doesn’t, he’s willing to learn, just for you. But you can’t outrun secrets. Not when they have everything to do with the only thing he adores—you.
nsfw warning under the cut!
18+... fingering, riding, car sex
STOP AND READ:
The story you are about to read is not meant to be admired or looked up to. Regularly, the types of fics that I like to present to all of you are light, humorous, and sweet. While I feel that this story does have occasional glimpses of that, it also deals with heavy topics such as; suicide, depression, and homicide. At the end of the day, I care about all my readers, so if any of you feel like this is not something for you then you are always welcomed to head over to my masterlist for much lighter reads. You all know me by now, so you must know that sometimes I like to mix a story of traditional love with a dash of real life struggles, such as trauma and guilt, in this case. With that, I hope you enjoy word for word.
cherry here!...did you miss me????
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Tension is normally one’s enemy. It’s fairly simple, you try your best to avoid what makes your skin crawl. Isn’t that how the story goes?
Not quite. 
There’s tension, yes, but it's only because you’re the opposite sex. Nothing beyond that. It could also be because you’re both introduced to each other as a pair of miserable singles. Lewis is the person you share in common.
She���s a close friend, he proclaims as you two shake hands. The touch is sticky, just like hot glue— and for a minute—it feels like a knife cuts this invisible strain in half. He lets himself salivate over your lioness stare; dark, sharp, amorous. You lean towards him just the same; dominant, mature, suggestive.
I’ve seen you race.
He hums, still attached to your desirable touch. Yeah? Why haven’t I seen you then?
Fingers press sternly against his warm skin, as if to provoke him more than he already feels himself falling into. It should be alarming the way his mind slips into a frenzy because of it, but likes it. The rush. 
Maybe because I wasn’t rooting for you.
There. Right then, he disconnects. I was hoping that wouldn’t be the case.
You grin. Well, now you know. 
“You know what? Mingle—”
“Who says mingle?” you and Carlos question at the same time, judgemental eyes staring coldly. 
Lewis blushes. “I-I-Is that not a thing anymore?” Silence. “Fuck, I really am getting old...”
The night consists of mimosas, because according to you, it reminds you of your late-mother. “She liked something fruity, but also fun enough to make her head spin. It was entertaining to watch.”
“How so?”
“She’d ramble on and on. Slurred about her dreams.” A sad smile. “That’s the only reason why I ever found out she wanted to become an author. She was fifty—five decades too old—but she said she wanted one last adventure before retiring. It didn’t even matter if she made it onto the New York Times Best Seller list.”
The way your eyes even out, round and almost doughy, makes him trip for a second because this is not the same girl he shook hands with nearly three hours ago. No, this version of you was almost childlike, but he supposes that's how everyone who loses a parent becomes. 
It comes out shy—closed off—your laugh. As if you just caught yourself being too vulnerable. That was always the worst. “Look at me making you my therapist. I have got to stop doing that.” 
His mouth opens lamely, ghostly scoff sitting upon his lips. And if it were to be released, it wouldn’t hurt your feelings. It was a weird thing to note. “I like hearing you talk.”
A beat. “We’ve only just met.”
Carlos grins, crinkles tracing the corner of his eyes like some beauty. “Then let's meet some more.”
The opportunity is there, the kind you’ve been looking for. With a sheepish smile, you nod. “I should warn you though, I’m a bit of a mess.”
Finally, the scoff escapes. And like envisioned, you laugh at the sound.
“Consider me warned.”
-
He fucked you that same night in the back of his car. It was late, so dark that you barely even had the chance to register the fact that you squirted all over his vintage Ferrari. 
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” he pants as he snaps his hips up again, fast motion making you head loll bad. You wonder what he means, but as soon as his long fingers circle your swollen bud, you’re just as good as gone.
He asked you out an hour later, when he dropped you off right in front of your apartment. You happily accepted, unable to hide your excitement. 
Your smile falters. “Give me a reason as to why I should say yes.”
“Um, well, you sort of already said…yes?”
The confusion that settles onto his handsome features makes you glow with satisfaction. “I could always change my mind. Pretend this night never even happened.”
Panic rushes harshly against his shoulders. He doesn’t even know why he cares so much, but he does. 
Vulnerability is a bitch. 
“Huh,” he hums, relaxing against his seat, head hitting the expensive cushion. And you can see it. The challenge. He clicks his tongue, bored all of a sudden. “Listen, I want you, but I certainly don’t need you.”
You realize right there and then—you met your match. 
You realize right there and then—you two share the same green pride. 
You realize right there and then—
“It was nice getting to know you.” 
-
The only reason you’re even friends with someone like Lewis is because your mother married rich.
Filthy fucking rich. 
Then, somehow, married richer by her third and last marriage. The man was twisted, but you never knew just how much. Not for a very long time. 
He dabbled in stocks, or some boring shit like that, and later invested in some other crap. Somewhere along the line, you met the Brit. 
The same Brit who now hisses at you through the phone. 
“God damn it, what happened? Weren’t you two getting along?”
You sigh, rubbing your feet together as you admire the way the navy blue paint covers your pedicured nails. Stormy clouds match your mood as you shake the bottle of pills that lay on top of your desk. 
“He’s too vain.”
He groans. “You my dear, dear friend, are looking into a mirror then, I suppose.”
A sharp gasp. “Are you insinuating I’m the same?”
“If the shoe fits…”
“May I remind you that you sit and stare at yourself for God knows how long before any race? Newflash, dickhead, you’re going to sweat, look like shit, and one out of ten times, you’re going to win.”
“I see I triggered something.” He sighs heavily. The sound tells you he’s not really upset or anything, but more so worried. Ever since she died, you’ve been that way. 
Snappy. Defensive. 
“Hey, I’m sorry—”
“Don’t be. I know you.” 
And although he can’t see, you still smile fondly. Rattling the bottle of antidepressants, you inch up higher and higher onto your chair until you face your own reflection. Shattered glass stares back at you as you feverishly look down. 
“Do you still have an extra pass to this weekend's race?”
-
There had to be something wrong with you. Everyone could tell, and quite frankly, you could agree. Would you admit to it out loud? No, now that’s something different. Or maybe you’re just odd. That would also make sense. Whatever it was, it would explain as to why everyone around you screams with excitement as the fast cars fly by. You, on the other hand, simply stare with straight lips and empty eyes.
While all clap cheerfully when Lewis finishes on the third step, you cross your arms. While everyone runs out of the Mercedes garage to declare front row, you drag your feet slowly to the last. 
While Carlos makes eye contact as he lifts his trophy—notably bigger than the Brits—you yawn.
You’re not impressed.
She’s not impressed, the Spaniard remembers thinking to himself as he smiles wider towards the stacks of cameras that turn him temporarily blind. He selfishly thinks you’re here for him, but he knows that's straight bullshit. Truth be told, it didn’t seem like you were here to support your friend either.
“It’s been so long,” Lewis huffs in disbelief as you stare across with vacant eyes. To him, you’re simply jetlagged. “Can you believe it?”
An exhale. “You did good.” Extending your legs outward, you admire the black tiles that shine back brighter than if it were to be white. “Drinks. On me.”
The Brit laughs. “Deal.”
-
Somewhere close by, they play jazz. 
“Pretty,” you softly speak as you connect your lips to the glass. The live band sways back and forth, only adding to the charm you seem to like. And you like it a lot. “Dance with me.”
Lewis snickers. “I love you to death, but I’m gonna have to go with no.”
You frown. “Come on. I never ask you for anything.”
“You were born with a golden spoon and have used retinol since you were ten, you’re not allowed to ask for anything when you’ve already had everything.”
“Yeah…well not this.” You’re secretly envious of every lady in the room. The way they beam with sincere smiles at their husbands. Boyfriends? Flings? Affairs? Who cares honestly, you were jealous nonetheless. 
The Mercedes driver watches as your fingers lazily tap against your lap, as if signaling you’re free. Guilt slithers down his neck as he sighs in defeat. “Fi–”
“Nice seeing you two here.”
Lewis wants to cry with utter thankfulness as Carlos inches closer with a lousy grin. “Hey! Oh God—hey.” You blink. “Wh-what are you doing here? Not that I’m complaining, of course, because I’m not.”
The Spanirad shrugs. “I won. Wanted to celebrate, I suppose.” Brown eyes flicker towards you like thunder and suddenly you feel naked under his gaze. You swallow. “You look nice.”
And there it is again—tension.
He cocks his head to the side, almost as if waiting for a compliment of your own. Instead, he finds himself being ignored. Crossing your legs, you lift the empty glass up as the bartender hurries for a refill. 
Finally, Lewis speaks up. “I think I’m gonna hit the hay—”
“Who says hay?” you and the brunette spit out with snarkiness. You bite back a smile while he releases a chuckle. 
The Brit stands up, chugging the rest of his drink as he waves you two off. “I’m not that old,” he shouts as he turns the corner and disappears. 
Carlos takes the time to catch up on your appearance. Last time he saw you, you had longer hair, now it appears you’ve had a trim. He likes it. You were slightly tanner, but now appear a shade lighter. It could just be because it’s winter. It's nice seeing other versions of you. 
“So, how have you be—”
“Why are you still here?”
He freezes. It takes him a while to find the strength to open his mouth. 
“We never finished our conversation.”
-
He didn’t fuck you that night, no, he took you dancing. And maybe that’s why it worked this time around. Instead of taking the time to learn all the different types of moans you have, he took the time to learn all about your upbringing. 
I learned how to bike when I turned six. Had severe trust issues for a year, so I tried again when I was seven.
That must be where your scars are from, he thinks to himself, but he finds them endearing.
I like long hair, I find it beautiful, but as soon as it’s starting to grow out I think it looks too weird on me. 
That must be why your hair is shorter than he remembers, but he loves it. Has the urge to run his fingers through.
My favorite movie is How Harry Met Sally, but quite frankly, I don't find Harry attractive at all, so I never really understood why Sally settled down with him after so long.
And you’re honest. Brutally honest. And he finds that attractive.
“How about you, Mr. Singapore?”
I learned how to kart before I learned how to bike, actually. I, too, have scars on my hands from small crashes. 
You blush as you hide yours beneath your coat. 
I have two sisters, so I mainly learned how to dance because of them. I hated it at the time, but now I’m quite grateful.
Is it possible to swoon harder?
And I don’t have a favorite film, necessarily, but I’ve watched How Harry Met Sally, and I would agree. Sally was too good looking for him. 
You have to laugh. “Is that so?”
He smiles. “The name Harry sounds so…” He winks cooly before running a hand through his locks. You giggle. “He looks more like a Bob.”
“Oh my God! Could you imagine? How Bob Met Sally?” You pause. “Wait, that actually doesn’t sound half bad…”
He chews on his bottom lip slowly, nodding in agreement. Silence engulfs you two as you stare at each other with round eyes. He’s the first to crack a loopy grin and you quickly follow with a sheepish one. Then, it vanishes and he’s left looking like he swallowed a frog.
“Listen, about last time…”
“Long forgotten.”
He halts, almost surprised by your response. “No, no, there’s no need to pretend, I was a—”
“Jerk?”
The Spaniard rolls his eyes. “Great, so you haven’t forgotten.”
You shrug. “I’m a girl. We remember everything.”
“Got it,” he declares. “Ask me again.”
Now it’s your turn to freeze. “What?”
“Ask me why you should say yes to a date with me.”
“You don’t have to do this, we’re good—”
“I know we are, but I still want you to ask.”
You lick your lip anxiously before relaxing your stiff shoulders. He tilts his head as if urging you and you nod. “Why should I say yes to you?”
Satisfaction settles. “Because you like a good challenge.” He leans closer. “And isn't that what this is?”
-
Carlos Sainz Jr. was made for you.
“Leave me alone,” you scream, veins throbbing, as you rush past him, heading towards the guest room. You’re glad his parents aren’t home at the moment because Lord knows the embarrassment you would feel.
“No. Not until you talk to me.” As simple as that. Your eyes twitch as you turn back, then bring your hands up to your hips. He adores it when you do that, though he probably shouldn’t right now.
“You want to talk?” You let out an unhinged scoff. “Oh, would you look at that, he wants to talk! Now he wants to talk. Well guess what, fuckhead—I don’t.” 
With that, you march out into the balcony. His eyes follow the way you light up a cigarette. The way you drink the last drops of champagne that linger in the bottle gifted to you by his mother. 
She was kind. She was beautiful. She didn’t deserve someone being this mean to her son.
You barely recognize him because of how blurry your vision is, but his scent does it. Musky. Woody. Calm. 
He hands you the familiar pill, then a glass of water. He rushes the champagne away, then takes the cigarette and squashes it against the cold floor. He doesn’t so much call you out for being a lunatic, for upsetting his dogs with all your yelling, or for pushing him. No, he doesn’t do any of that. And you have never been more in love with him than now.
“I know I can be a bit much sometimes…” A sniffle. “I swear I try to catch onto it so you don’t have to deal with any of this, but—”
“You don’t mean it.” He tangles his fingers through your hair as you sob. And it’s soft despite spending the entire day near the ocean. It feels silky. He’s obsessed. “I know you.”
-
You were made for Carlos Sainz Jr.
“How do I look?” 
“Like an angel.” He swears he turns bright red when you blow him a kiss. “Your name must’ve been Bonita in another life because look at you…” A hand flies up to clutch onto his heart as he makes a face. “Though, I must say, you do know how to make me look bad.”
You giggle. “Oh? This old thing? I thrifted it. Nice, eh?”
He groans. “Very, but you’re supposed to be rooting for Spain.” A gag. “Not Italy.”
You frown. “That's all I had. Plus, you’re basically Italian given your working status.”
“No, amor, they pay me to like Italy. It’s a cover up, think about it.”
You huff, popping your hip outward. “Still. I like it, so I’m wearing it while cheering for the opposite team.”
“Always over complicating things.” He laughs. “Can’t say I’m surprised, you’re a complicated person.”
A deadpan expression. “Suck your own dick.”
“Oi, relax.”
Spinning to face the mirror, you fix your jersey one last time before skipping out the door, tube socks sliding as you go. The Spaniard lets out a dreamy sigh. 
Were you flawless? Not at all.
Were you put together? Not without a prescription.
But he loved figuring it all out with you. And that’s called love.
-
You’re in the middle of a rampage, during dinner. While everyone stares at you puzzled, he simply laughs at your cartoon expressions. 
“I mean, I offered!” A pout. “I clearly stated I could get the cap signed for her and she gave me the nastiest, ugliest, dirty-looking glare! I for sure thought her face was permanently damaged.” You relax against the chair, your shaky hand finding its way to your water bottle. “Like sorry for riding your favorite driver…”
Charles laughs nervously. “I don’t think that was a necessary thing to include…” 
You shrug, raising your brows over to your boyfriend who struggles to breathe. 
The conversation flows easily, like most nights you're all together, but this time there’s a minor bump. You’ve been good about it; avoiding the question for so long. Over the course of time, you’ve managed to be so mendacious, that truly no one knew the truth. Not even Carlos.
“I hope it’s not overstepping, but how did your mum pass?”
He means no harm, Lando, but you just wish so badly that you could believe that. While Carlos and Lewis were the closest thing you have to a family nowadays, even they knew not to ask. You never laid the rules out loud, but they could tell it was an unwanted topic to have on your behalf, no matter how curious they got. 
All of a sudden, your mood deteriorates. The look in Lando’s eyes makes sure to strike off as an apology, but you’re so busy looking down onto your lap that you don’t even pinpoint the meaning. The table grows awkward as time ticks by. 
No one has the power to change the subject, save you the same way doctors tried to save your mother—because they, too—wonder. 
You gulp, feeling small, but far too seen at the same time. It was confusing. “She, um…her last husband…” Everyone feels bad, like you’re some limping puppy, zigzagging down an empty highway, but remain quiet. Then, you look up, stone cold but the tip of your rosy nose and blotchy face is enough reassurance that you still have a beating heart.
“Husband number three strangled her to death.”
You say it like you don’t care. Like it hasn’t affected you at all, and that makes Carlos blink twice as fast as everyone else in the table. A droplet makes its way down your cheek as you let out a light laugh. 
“I guess he thought he was some Superior God who had a say in cutting her time short.”
They all freeze. 
“I am so sorry for asking—” 
“I didn’t need to respond.” You smile lamely. “It’s fine, Lando.”
But it’s not, not even close. They ripped the confession out of your throat, at least that’s what it felt like. No one stepped up, no one said anything. 
Your eyes flicker to the only man who makes your heart speed. 
He reaches for your hand and you grip it hard.
No one said anything.
Not. Even. Carlos.
-
You’ve always excelled at holding a grudge. It came fairly simple. 
But as you stare at him through the screen, for the first time—and only the first time—you struggle. Maybe it’s his puppy eyes that betray you, or his gentleness anytime he steps near you, you don’t really know. 
And you don’t want to.
“I was thinking mariscos.”
Hair flies past your eyes as you squint. He looks particularly handsome today, wearing a linen shirt that drapes over him like some silver armor. Long waves brush against his temples as he returns the squint, slightly smiling at your lips. 
“Sounds good to me.”
Soft music roams the isolated restaurant that almost seemed to belong to just you two, and that helps you relax. You could tell it helps him too. 
“The car felt good today.”
“Yeah?”
He nods, biting onto a piece of shrimp. “Felt like I was flying.”
You let out a whistle. There’s a comfortable silence that lingers for a while before you raise a brow up to the open sky. “Hey,” you start as his orbs flicker up with all the attention in the world. “Do you believe in angels?”
A moment. “I’d say so, yes. Yes, I do.”
Hum. “You sound freakishly sure.” You inch forward with teasing eyes. “Why?”
“Easy.” Chocolate orbs swirl with adoration. “There’s you.”
“I don’t count.”
He frowns. “And why not?”
“Because you love me, of course you’d say that only to be nice.”
“I say so because I know so.”
“Love is blind, love is blind,” you chant, sipping on his open can.
A second ticks by. “Why do you ask?”
And like the first night he met you, your eyes merge into doe eyes. “Because I do.” A sheepish grin. “And sorry to disappoint, but it’s not you.” 
“What’s his name?” he jokes.
But you’re not even listening. “My mom was pure. She was a good person, Carlos.” A beat. “She’s my forever angel.”
His heart physically hurts at your glossy eyes, immediately reaching for your hands. “You must really miss her…”
A wet laugh. “Is there a word stronger than ‘really’? If there is, then that would be one way to say it.”
And he has to apologize, even if it’s seven days too late. 
“I’m sorry for not stepping in that night. I-I-I should have said something and you should have said nothing.” Thick brows knit in together. “You don’t know how shitty I felt, but—”
“You wanted to know as well.”
The way his features freeze is enough confirmation. And you can't be mad. Not even a little. Not even a lot. 
“That doesn’t make you a bad person, Carlos. I should have been more open and honest with you first.” A gust of hot air slaps you across the face. “I tend to shut out people like you because…I don’t know.”
“Vulnerability is a bitch?”
You laugh. “That’s one way to say it.” Orbs scan his beauty with no shame before falling back. “You still have plenty of questions, don’t you?”
“O-of course not.”
Another laugh. “It’s okay. You caught me in a good mood. Go on.”
He’s awkward at first, but slowly eases with the sound of your breathing. “Why hasn’t he been arrested?”
“Because he’s a multi-billionaire.”
He gulps and you blink. “Why haven’t you sued?”
“Because I’m not a multi-billionaire.”
“So…he did a cover up with a wad of cash?”
“Mhm. No one dared ask whose hand shaped bruise was imprinted in her neck.”
He’s caught off guard by your bluntness, but he knows he needs this because he knows it will keep him up the same ways it’s kept him up since that god forbidden dinner. 
“This was the cause of your…” He doesn’t even want to finish his sentence.
“Depression…yeah. Losing someone you love will do that to ya.”
But he wants to ask—he wants to ask more because he knows there has to be more. He’s lost people he loves too—and he loved them very much—and he never got this way. In a flash, he feels guilty for comparing his healing process to yours but quickly looks down onto his lap. 
And the hot summer rain is enough warning for him not to question you any further. 
The Spaniard shares a grateful smile. “Thank you for trusting me. To take care of you, and all t-that,” he stutters, blushing.
“I love you, Carlos.” A beat. “I’ve always trusted you. The only person I don’t trust is myself.”
-
“Be quiet,” she hisses, urgently signaling you closer. “And make sure to shut the door.”
Confused, you hesitantly push until you hear a click. Inching closer to your mom, you slowly become more and more lost as you eye the scattered papers all over your step-dads office table. “What is all this?”
Color drains from her normally youthful face. Even the brightest shade of red can’t help add life. “Proof of embezzlement.”
“What?”
She slides stacks of black folders towards you and you quickly flip through, to which you don’t understand a single thing. “He’s stealing money, that’s what. We’re not talking thousands, we’re talking millions,” she whispers frantically before growing green. “Oh God, I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Okay, okay, hold on, you’re okay.” Rushing to be next to her, you clumsily tie her hair up into a messy ponytail before fanning her with the white sheets. You wince, quickly placing them back down. “How did you even come across this?”
Just as fast as a lighting bolt, she spins the chair. “I’m starting my book—” She gags, “I was supposed to start today, but I came in here looking for his typewriter. You know, the one with the tiny cherubs?” Across the office, you spot it, the tiny angels delicately painted onto the infamous typewriter. You nod. “Well, I started to search for some paper and instead found all of this…”
Even you grow dizzy as you eye the infinite zero’s that jump out against all types of sums. That’s not even enough to spend in ten lifetimes. It was no wonder he just recently made it onto The Forbes list. Her eyes—honest as ever—make you panic as you twirl your thumbs. “Wait…you’re not thinking of confronting him about it, are you?”
“I have to.” Pause. “Right?”
No. You don’t want her to. Not in any scenario. It’s taken you both so long to reach the life you deserve, and now that you were finally here it’s about to be ripped away from you? Your lack of words makes her glare. 
“I don’t know why I’m asking you, I have to! It’s the right thing to do.”
Adrenaline. “Mom, just think about it—”
“I did not raise you to be avaricious,” she spits out, fire practically fuming out of her.  You flinch. “I’m going to talk to him.”
“Y-you’re right.” There goes all your money down the drain. “I’m with you no matter what.” 
Knock knock.
Like mother-daughter, you both freeze as your eyes flicker to the sound. 
“Angelica, are you in there?”
You never liked the name Angelica. Not on anyone else that wasn’t your Angelica. 
Running over to open, she finds herself face-to-face to Lucifer himself as he cocks his head in humor. “Locking me out of my own office now?” He enters. “Fun.” Dark eyes roam the messy area. “Fun.”
Her eyes plead with you in a language only you both knew, but never did you mean to obey. You wanted to stay with her—something told you to stay with her. 
“Honey, give us some privacy, yeah?”
“U-uh…” He winks like that was the go-ahead. Like that was the last permission you needed to agree. And maybe it was. 
Deep down it’s almost like you knew he had sinister intentions. Deep down it’s almost like you knew he was capable of committing those sinister intentions. 
Deep down. 
It’s like you don’t even care.
You smile, tight lipped. “Whatever you need.”
You heard the argument that night, you heard the threats. You heard her pleads, you heard her chokes. You could only imagine what was going on inside, but you were your mothers daughter. You could imagine quite a lot. 
She could’ve been an author—with his resources she might just have hit the New York Times Best Seller list. She could have been a grandmother one day—surely your kids would have lived a luxurious life. 
She could have been obedient. Why wasn’t she obedient? Was it so hard to brush it all under the rug?
He was sweating, just as much as a pig. Or maybe he’s glowing, he is smiling after all. Here and there he apologizes in a lousy manner, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was—
“How much money am I gonna get to keep?”
He’s intrigued. “How much do you want?”
“Enough to not have to worry.” You can still see it; cramped rooms, tin canned meals on paper plates. You could never go back.
An eye roll. “You’re just like her…” A beat. “Fucking greedy.” You can feel the blood rush to your cheeks. You’re embarrassed—-of course you were—who is he to judge? He sighs. “No.”
“What do you mean no?”
“It means I’m not transferring you anything. I want you out of this house no later than Sunday.”
Plump lips open, then snap shut, teeth gritting. “I’ll tell everyone that you’re a murderer. You’ll lose it all, w-watch.”
He’s not phased. Not even in the slightest. “And who’s going to believe you? Tell me, really, because I’d like to know.”
Fuck him for having everything. Fuck him for having everything. Fuck him for having everything.
And fuck yourself for having nothing at all—again.
Months swept by, the death was ruled a suicide, and antidepressant became your loyal friend. There was no one else, and sometimes you feared there would always be no one else. 
Then—by some miracle—there was Carlos.
He was handsome. He was shy. He was sweet. He was kind.
He was rich.
You played hard to get, but so did he. You played the long haul, but so did he. You were a fantastic liar, but he was an ever better believer.
And it all clicked.
Just the way it was supposed to.
-
You’ve been accustomed to a certain lifestyle for years now, but somehow you’re always surprised about the sudden boost you’ve switched to ever since you’ve met him.
Chanel heels turned into red bottoms. Last season dresses turned into those that were not yet  released. You loved everything about it.
“You look so beautiful, cariño,” he groans against your lips, desperate for more. His large hands play with the silky fabric, fighting to slide it up against your hips. You shudder. “I mean…come on.”
“Hey, hey—that’s sweet and all—” You push yourself closer to his toned body, immediately feeling his erection. You nearly whimper.  “But why don’t you fuck me instead?” A kiss. “You missed me, no?”
And instead—he whimpers. “How dare you even ask?” 
With that, he picks you up with ease, pinning you against the wall. You’re dizzy, because unbeknownst to him, he’s casted a spell on you. Never did you think you could fall in love, much less, have someone reciprocate. 
Tender fingers make their way to your clit as you lunge forward, biting down onto his shoulder. It should amaze you how he holds you up with one arm, but you’re not. If anything, you leak more and more by every passing second. 
His dirty pants make you fold as you clench around him. The way they curl, the way they pulse, all of it was your kryptonite. 
“Shit, shit, shit,” you squeal, keeping your eyes trapped shut, feeling the familiar knot forming. He grins, pecking your sweaty forehead, digits speeding up. Berry lips form an O as you moan louder with every push.”I-I’m c-c-close—oh God.”
“Shh. It’s okay, let go for me, yeah? I’m right here with you.” 
Gritting your teeth harder, you moan like some pornstar as you finish all around him. Almost like some rule, he desperately sucks his fingers clean. The Spaniard hums like he’s living his biggest dream of all before opening his round eyes. 
“So sweet.”
You blush. “Yours tastes like shit.”
He laughs. “And yet you beg for me to finish all over your face, isn’t that so?”
Nearly choking at his bluntness, you fight back a smile as you play with his floppy locks. They’ve grown so much from the last time you saw him, so this was certainly eye candy to you. He sighs, relaxing as you continue to twirl thick strands around your fingers.
Soft legs still drape over his waist, hands still lay around your waist, and even breathing connects you both. Carlos feels like he’s nearly dozing off, but his hand remains firm, preferring to take a bullet than to let you fall. 
You like to think that you like his lashes the best. But then there’s his eyes. And his nose. And his heart. And his lips. And his hands. And his sculpture body. And his jokes. And his laugh. And his freckles. So you never could choose, not truly.
Inching closer to his ear, you smirk slowly. “Wanna fuck my mouth?”
His eyes snap open, jaw clenching. “You’re such a tease.”
A shrug. “Want to or not?” You bite your lip, legs letting go of his hips as you slide down. “Because this offer ends in five…” He raises a skeptical brow. “Four…” You motion him closer to which he steadily follows. “Three…” He laughs. “Two, one!”
Sprinting up the stairs in a flash, you giggle as he chases after you. The sound of his steps make your heart beat faster as you jump onto your shared bed. Rushing past the corner, he cocks his head to the side as he clicks his tongue. Stepping into the room carefully, he swung the door closed before locking it. You frown.
“Reassures me that no one will walk in.”
“No one will walk in,” you whisper as your stomach drops. “There’s no need t-to—”
“No, yeah, you’re right,” he agrees, taking in your breathless state. “But I prefer it this way. Just you.” A closer stride. “And me.”
Palms are sweaty. Blood slithers down your throat and thighs. And yet your freeze. You feel hot and cold, all at once. You don’t like the feeling, any of it, but you try to ignore the inner monologue. 
“You look stunning,” he states, finally reaching you. “You always do.”
Your speeding heart lessens. “T-thank you.” 
A beat. “You’re not nervous—are you?”
Hastily, you shake your head. “N-no! Of course not!”
Thick brows knit together. “Because you normally aren’t.” His smile fades. “W-we don’t have to do anything tonight if you don’t want to, you know that right?”
Physically, you’re cringing. Mentally, you’re spiraling. The act itself makes the Spaniard withdraw, taking a steady step back and shaking his head. Panic rises fast as you crawl closer to him, reaching the end of the bed. 
“I just have a lot on my mind, but I want this.” A beat. “I want you.”
It’s as if you’re a blank sheet of paper, blinking up at Carlos with such innocence. So much so, it makes his heart stop. He looks for reassurance, which you give him, and he looks for it again, which you give again without hesitance. 
“Come on, Carlitos…” you slowly whisper, batting your eyes. “I know you’ve missed my mouth.”
If you weren’t so breathtaking, if you weren’t so seductive, if you weren’t so goddamn tempting then surely turning you down wouldn’t be an issue. By alas, you’re here—and even better—you’re all his. 
“Eres un sueño.” It seems like an eternity passes by before he finally steps close to you once again, getting rid of whatever distance you ever had. Like it was never meant to be there to begin with. “Can I kiss you first?”
It’s sweet that he feels the need to build up to fucking you sore, but sweet nonetheless. That’s one thing you love about him—and there’s a lot to choose from—his respect towards you. Smiling warmly, you extend your arm, inviting him like an angel before he smashes his lips against you like the devil.
The contrast. It’s just what you needed.
“God, I fucking love you.” 
“I—” His lips press harsher as he continues marking his territory. All of it was making your head spin like a rollercoaster. “I love you too,” you manage to spit out as he makes his way down. You blush. “I-I-I sort of wanted to…”
He blinks. “Sort of what?”
“Well, you know…” You point towards his hardened cock. 
And he actually snickers. “Cat got your tongue today or what, bella?”
A groan. “You’re so fucking annoying—”
“No, no, no,” he cuts in with a whistle. “By all means, go ahead.”
Desperate hands crazily reach out towards his belt in a nanosecond. You should be ashamed how hopeless you are, but you don’t find enough strength to care. Not when he was looking down at you with hungry eyes. 
“Tan linda,” he whispered underneath his breath. As if you weren’t meant to hear him. As if he can’t quite believe it’s you he gets to keep. This must all be a dream to him, he thinks. 
Just as you’re about to pull his jeans down, large hands get ahold of your wrists. Confused, you look up at him, head tilted and messy hair falling over your shoulder. He grins wickedly. 
“Just one more kiss.”
You scoff, rolling your eyes. “Are you kidding me—”
But his soft lips move with such urgency that you don’t even have time to bitch and moan. Not that you’re trying. You can feel it; the hunger, the lust. The way you run your fingers through his hair, or how he squeezes your ass. In a matter of seconds, the room grows steamy, hot breaths expanding with every peck. It’s as if Carlos was too afraid of being ripped away from you even for a second, scared your lips might change and he wouldn’t know a thing about it.
Not knowing you might be his biggest fear.
It happens without a warning, his grip. You feel it slide slowly up your ribs—you remember thinking how much you like it, how much it tickles. Then it reaches your chest, to which his eager hands squeeze your tits, pathetically moaning into your mouth. You can’t help but giggle, but still not separating. And then…
It reaches your neck.
As soon as he squeezes, your eyesight begins to blur, but he doesn’t notice. Your chest begins to rise and fall at an alarming rate, but he doesn’t notice. And you’re terrified.
But he doesn’t notice.
“Carlos,” you whimper, but he takes it as a good sign, mouth moving with ease. “Carlos, honey…”
“Yeah, baby?” His voice is deep. “You like that?” Large palm squeezes harder. “Bet you do.”
“Okay, stop!” you scream, arms flying like some madman. “Let go of me!”
Panicked, he releases you in a hurry, jumping off of your trembling body. Color drains his face as realization hits him, but it's too late. You’re sobbing hard, shoulders bouncing up and down. The way you crawl back with fear makes his heart break as he shakes his head, running a hand against his jaw.
“Fuck.” More cries. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—I am so sorry, baby…” Desperate eyes stare back at you as you hide your face against your shaky hands. “I’m so fucking stupid. I should have known, I should have known.” Inching closer proves to be a mistake when you leap off the bed, throwing a mountain of pillows like daggers. 
“Stop it,” you demand. “Stay. Right. There.”
He flinches. “Are you afraid of me?”
The laugh that erupts from your throat is unlike the others he’s heard. It’s almost maniacal. It makes his skin grow with goosebumps. “Is that even a question?” Dark mascara runs down your cheeks as you breathe heavily. “You just tried to kill me.”
“No,” he pronounces. “No, you know that that’s not true. I-I-I thought you’d like it!” The glare you flicker is enough for him to wince, pinching the tip of his nose. “I should have known better, okay? Please, just…calm down.”
All your sniffles come to an end as you freeze. “Are you calling me crazy?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Oh my God.” Pushing your hair back, you release a chuckle. “You actually think I’m crazy.”
“I don’t think you’re crazy, stop putting words into my mouth.”
A scoff. “Okay, wow.” 
He doesn’t have a clue as to how he continues to dig himself into a hole—and yet—here he is. Digging his own grave. Exhaling hard, he licks his lips before looking straight into your glossy eyes. “I love you,” he starts, but you remain as still as a statue. “And I want us to work through this. I want to be able to talk to you, yeah?” A beat. “I’m sorry about…what I did, I should have never done it knowing you’re…traumatized.” 
He’s almost scared to see your reaction, but it never comes. Instead, you blink hastily, as if you’re mortified. 
You should’ve known. You should have figured that karma would catch up to you sooner or later.
I mean, all sins must be paid for, right?
As soon as he starts closing the gap, you’re thumping heart picks right back up. “I just want to talk—”
“No.”
Despite his hurt, he continues his march towards you. “I just want to be near you, please—”
“I said no!” 
It happens almost in the blink of an eye, the sound of glass shattering. He sort of thinks he must’ve imagined it, your hand flying to punch the mirror right besides you, but the gentle blood that oozes out of your hand makes his heart stop. Suddenly, all the scars you have make sense. So much makes sense. 
“Just…stay there, Carlos,” you say, voice trembling, small hand holding out a piece of sharp glass towards him like some wannabe knife. You bite your bottom lip. “Just—there.”
“Cariño…”
“Stop it with that,” you plead, teardrops slipping. “Stop calling me that.”
Somewhere in the shard, he catches his reflection. Half-scared, half-brokenhearted. He doesn’t even know how you two got to this point. 
He gulps. “Okay. I’ll stop, I’ll stop, but please put that down.” You shake your head fast, splotchy cheeks flushing furthermore. Carlos sighs desperately. “Come on—you’re bleeding.”
“I’m used to it by now.”
Tension resurfaces once again between you both as you stare at each other, awaiting for the next challenge. Playing the silent game for a second, curious to see who breaks next. 
“Why did you lock the door?”
He almost laughs. “We always shut the door—”
You raise the blade up higher as you begin to lose patience. Deep down, you know you’re not capable of harming him, but how could you ever let your guard down once again when he tried to strangle you to death?
History almost repeats itself, and you’ll be damned if you ever let it happen.
“You said it, we shut it but we never lock it.” A soft cry. “What were you planning on doing to me, Carlos?”
It’s like a knife to the heart, you’re sudden distrust. The brunette finds himself struggling to breath as he blinks like a lost deer. 
“You know that I would never hurt you. Not on purpose, at least…”
You let out a wet snarl, shaking your head. “I don’t believe you.”
A flinch. “All of this was a mistake and I adore you.”
“You don’t, though,” you protest, the shaky vision intensifying. “If not you wouldn’t have tried to mur—”
“For the last time, I’m not your step-father!” It’s as if he’s finally reached his breaking point, just now. His body is tired. His mind is tired. Everything is just tired of trying. Carlos shrugs lamely. “If you don’t want to believe me…so be it.”
The pain that rains out of him should be enough for you to know that he’s telling the complete truth. He’s a good guy, with pure intentions. He’s not here to get even with you on your mothers behalf. None of what you’re imagining is true.
But you just can’t seem to understand. 
“I don’t believe your lies, alright?” you spit out with deep breaths. You drop the blade, finally. “Open the door.”
With his head hung low, he complies, feet dragging with every step. And finally, with a hand on the knob, he turns to give you one last glance. He can tell you’re holding in your breath and he doesn’t know why it bothers him so much. Why it make him feel so much like a monster…
Click. The wooden door swings open as he pushes it gently.
“Now leave.”
A wave of nausea strikes with your words. “Amor—“
“Stop. Don’t even look at me.” Tension. “I don’t want to see you ever again—not even by accident.”
And that was the last stab that ended it all.
-
Every now and then, he wonders how you are. Hopefully better. 
He hears your name mentioned once in a blue moon, but instinctively blocks it out, too disturbed at the thought of what occurred between you two. 
What did occur between you two?
He could take a guess and say that you’re internally fucked. Straight and simple. 
But it’s still annoying. The way he wishes to forget you with every passing birthday wish. 
At first, it was because he missed you. He just wanted to forget you because he missed you—yes.
Later, it was because the memory of the cramped room suffocated him. The sound of glass breaking was stronger than the sound of his car crashing. And somehow the latter seemed better. 
He just wanted to forget that day—yes. 
Staring off into space has been his thing for a long time, often getting called out on it. Now, he finds himself with his eyes closed, too scared that someone might notice his feelings and feel the need to ask if he’s okay. 
He hasn't been. Not since you. 
“Grape or watermelon?”
Popping and eye open, he catches a glance of Lewis before rolling over. “I’m good.”
It’s tough, this silent war between both his friends. The break up simply made this…tough. Especially when no one really knows what happened. 
Setting the electrolytes down, the Brit claims a spot next to the brunette. Groaning at the unwanted company, Carlos switches to sit upright. Brown eyes glare strongly before Lewis laughs it off. 
“How you doin’, bud?”
Great, no yeah, just severely depressed thanks to your so-called friend. Would you mind asking her where she gets her antidepressants from for me? I mean, I would, but last time we saw each other she, uh, I don’t know, tried to stab me? And you know what’s the most fucked up shit? It’s the fact that I still love her just the same. 
I just wanted to help. 
He forces a shy smile. “Fine.”
A pity grimace. “I can tell she misses you, you know?”
Carlos hates how excited the thought of you alone—dreamily sighing for his return—gets him to sit up straighter, suddenly interested. It’s foolish, really. 
“She would never admit it, but I can tell because I know—”
“Her?” The Spaniard lets out a mocking scoff. “Trust me, you don’t. Not entirely.”
That shuts Lewis right up as he sits there, staring blankly. A dark brow furrows. “Listen, I don’t know what happened between you two—not that I need to know—but she’s a good person. And so are you. So…don’t be afraid of reaching out.”
He flickers his brown eyes accusingly. “Why should I? Did she put you up to this?”
“She didn’t—“
But the fact is, the hesitation gives him away. Anger arises as the Spaniard rolls his eyes. “I knew it, God, I knew it!” A second. “I know her.”
The Brit drowns with nervousness as he waves his hands in despair. “She just wants you to apologize!”
A singular laugh. “Apologize for what?” He pauses, squinting at his friend. “She didn’t tell you why we broke up, did she?”
“No.”
“Then you don’t really know who’s fault it was, do you?”
Lewis looks down onto his lap. “No. Not really.”
“Great, then let me be the one to tell you that it was both of ours. I’m no saint but neither is she.”
An award silence lingers as the Spaniards voice echoes the room. Lewis nods. “Understood. I got it, okay?”
He sighs an irregular sigh. “I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“Don’t worry about it, man.” A sheepish grin. “It’s not my place to fix anything about your guys’ relationship, I get it.”
Carlos’ face switches to bright red as he nods his head once. “T-thanks.”
The Brit, ever happily, stands up firmly before patting his back. “I’m always here if you need to talk.”
“Gracias.” Lewis is just a few steps away when he clears his throat before he can even stop himself from asking. “How’s she doing?”
It came across almost softer than a mumble, and one might have missed it if not alert, but not Lewis. 
Spinning to face the almost manchild with round eyes, he smiles as bright as the sun, and that makes his stomach turn. Because he knows. He knows you’re doing—
“Really well.”
Fluffy hair falls down as he tilts his head, clicking his tongue. “That’s good.” Sure. He returns the same smile with a twitch. “That’s really good.”
Lewis has known you two for a long time now. He’s unwillingly memorized your ticks. How the right side of your face slightly twitches before every lie, or how the left side of his does the same before every lie. Much like right now. 
The Brit contemplates for a minute, then two, then opens his mouth in the most hesitant manner. 
“She’s moving to Germany.” Carlos freezes. “Only for a few months. Maybe a year, who knows. But…you should read her book.”
He unfreezes. “Her what?”
A faint smile. Eyes crinkled. “It’s a tough read, but I believe it was necessary. You know, to finally talk about it.”
-
He never quite believed you would open up this way, and yet here he was, in an unknown bookstore, spacing out. Your name jumps out like some shooting star, too difficult to ignore. 
Without a doubt, you’d get a lawsuit from your step-father. Of course—you were only dragging the last name of what seemed to be the world's richest man. 
For what it’s worth, Carlos is proud. This must mean you’re open to moving on. To get the necessary help you so desperately need. From start to finish, the pages are enticing. You go into gruesome depth, something you never seemed to have a problem in doing. From the mention of how her eyes remained open with no sign of life, only terror, to the fact that you got your many scars from punching the door, trying to get in on time. How he bribed his way against the laws. 
Everything seemed to be coming out.
So then why, as he sits in his driver's room, staring at your picture in the back of the book, does he feel like doesn’t believe it? 
Not even a generous half.
-
Angelica lived up to the first five letters of her name. 
She was there for you in the moments you needed her the most. She braided your hair for playdates, she tied your shoe laces even when you were too embarrassed to ask, and she worked her way up, making sure you had it all. 
Undeniably, she was one hell of a woman. Then again, she had more within her—pulled some trigger you never thought she’d pull.
You were going to lose it all, why couldn’t she foresee that? That conversation was going to rip your inheritance straight from your tight grip; the one that ensured your future vacations. How could she ever betray you? Her own daughter? 
You were acquisitive. You were possessive. You were partially responsible for her death.
But call it naiveness, you really thought it’d work.
No one will truly know the way your soul left your body when you heard you wouldn’t get a single dollar. Not even a fucking cent. You had to find some other way to stay secure.
But Carlos was out to get you, you just know he was. You don’t have a clue as to how he found out about the truth, about what happened inside that stupid mansion, but he knew it all. And you had to get out of there.
Only it led you back to square one. With no purpose. With no money. Fuck men and their actions, seriously, too all hell with them.
However, you were your mothers daughter at the end of the day.
You could be a writer. An even better one that she could've ever been. If you wanted to, you could do it. 
And that is exactly what you did.
You typed, and typed, and typed until your fingers would cramp up. The multi-billionaire was a leviathan and everyone would see that no matter what. 
You, on the other hand, were an innocent bystander. Too weak to intervene, to fight back. Too young. Yeah. That was what happened that night.
But you also had your own perspective. One your mom could never match.
While she married for the illusion of love, you would’ve married for money with no shame. Carlos just happened to be the luckiest of strikes because you got both. 
While she always was at the front of the room without having to try, you were always in the back with a bitter smile. Why did she get to have two dimples? All eyes would have surely been on you if you had at least one. 
And while she never cared about reaching the New York Times Best Seller list—you did. 
She would have jumped with joy just by selling ten copies, but not you. You always wanted more—craved more. Label it as ambition. 
More copies sold means more money. A trust fund means more money. Playing the victim against your step-father means even more money. So yeah…
You did care about that stupid list. 
Tilting your head back against your seat, you flinch at the taste of the pill, too familiar for your liking, but the wine helps. It always does nowadays. 
Buzz. 
Picking up with a level of indifference was all fake—you had been yearning this call for what seemed like your whole life.
“Hey.” His voice is almost raw. Like he could use a couple cough drops. “I-I-I read your book. It was incredible.”
And for the first time in a while, you smile. “Thank you, that means a lot, Carlos.”
You can hear the static against the line, indicating once again that you’re on opposite sides of the world and not together. You can almost bet that it will always stay that way. 
The Spaniard coughs awkwardly into your ear.
“Oh, and also, congrats on making it onto the New York Times Best Seller.”
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sweetinsaniiity · 2 months
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My Heart, I Surrender
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► 𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 - intruder!san x virgin!reader ◄ ► 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜/𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 - smut with plot, age gap of 10 years (but both full adults), sociopathic tendencies but San is a !gentleman, suspense, somnophilia, fingering, hair-pulling, , corruption kink, breeding kink, oral sex (FL receiving), creampie, no protection (do NOT do this!), tit sucking, rough sex, size kink, overstimulation, cum tasting ◄ ► 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 - MDNI, sexual assault, degrading name calling (slut, whore), non-consent sex, reluctance, gaslighting and manipulation to give in ◄ ► 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 - 16.5K (goal was 14K but oh well) ◄ ► 𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 - The most unforgettable night of your life happens when an intruder breaks in and steals your body, your innocence, and your heart. ◄
► 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 - If this is triggering to you, please do not continue. This is a work of fiction not meant to represent the members in real life. I DO NOT CONDONE THIS TYPE OF ENCOUNTER. This is not a go-signal for anyone to do this. This is a fantasy and IT SHOULD STAY THAT WAY. You have been warned. More notes towards the end. Join the taglist here. Title from I Prevail ◄ ► 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 - @ginger-mingi ◄
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The pouring rain has always provided me with a sense of comfort I cannot even begin to explain. I wasn't sure if it was the sound of it hitting the pavement, or even the smell of it as it watered the meadow fields. Oh, the fresh scent of it when it hits my nose when I inhale brings serenity.
So here I stood under a dingy, little waiting shed where I sought shelter from the rain that I claimed to love.
I looked left and right hoping to see a bus coming while I rubbed my arms and my teeth chattered, but nothing. Even the waiting shed did absolutely nothing to shield me from the biting cold.
I sighed, instantly regretting not making it on time here for the other bus. With nothing better to do, I sat back down on the somewhat clean-ish seat that the shed provided and waited it out. If it wasn't for the rain, I would have been busy admiring the lush trees and the beautiful spring flowers that surrounded the area like I always usually did when I waited for the bus.
I perked when I saw headlights to my left through the haze, but I quickly became disappointed when I realized it wasn't my bus, it was just a car passing by.
"Damn," I deflated back onto my seat. dejected at the thought of staying in this shed for longer than I wanted to.
I stared at the oncoming car, suddenly wishing I could drive. I wouldn't be waiting if I knew how. It came faster and faster until I was able to make out its model and its colour - a sleek black.
And then it completely stopped in front of me.
I frowned, confused and then got frightened at what the owner possibly wanted. It could be anything, but the one that struck in my mind was some sick psycho that wanted to do things to me, a lone girl in a deserted area.
I cursed in my mind when I looked around and nobody was around to hear me scream for help just in case. I looked down suddenly, finding my shoes interesting, hoping that the driver would go away soon.
I bit my lip when I heard the distinct sound of a car window rolling down. Oh God, I thought nervously. Was I about to get kidnapped?
"Y/N?"
As if I wasn't nervous enough. My confusion grew not only because I heard my name out of nowhere, but that voice sounded a little too familiar.
I looked up and my heart stopped beating for a second or two. He was the kind of handsome that made me hold my breath and those chestnut eyes that stared already spoke to me before he even said a word.
"M-Mr. Choi!" I blurted out in mild surprise. I stood up and began to approach his car but quickly stumbled when I realized it was still raining. "W-What are you doing here?"
I blushed profusely when he smiled at me, it was heart-melting, especially when his dimples popped out from his cheeks. I mentally cursed myself for being this embarrassing in front of him.
"This is near my workplace," he replied. He slowly raked his eyes from my feet all the way to my face and his smile grew wider. "How long have you been waiting for the bus?" 
"Almost an hour," I replied truthfully.
His smile drops slightly and he clicks his tongue. He presses on something and I hear the click of something unlocking. "Get in," he cocked his head towards the passenger seat.
My face heats up even more if that was possible. "Oh," I squeak out. "I-I couldn't possibly impose on you, I'm fine, really."
"Please, I insist," he pauses to gauge my reaction. "I would feel awful if I just left you here stranded."
I was weighing my options, but the reality was, I was afraid he would hear how hard my heart was beating if I was to go into the same space as him, let alone something as intimate as a car.
He sighed when he saw me doubting. "We live in the same complex anyway, plus that bus won't be coming soon," he insisted.
I pursed my lips together, and it didn't escape his attention. He was right, I was the one being unreasonable. Plus, I knew him. I knew   he had pure intentions - to simply just take me home.
"Okay," I murmured, finally agreeing to his insistence.
I stopped breathing when he broke out into the widest grin. "Good," he beamed. 
I was about to move and get my stuff from the seat when Mr. Choi got out of the car and started to walk towards me through the rain. "You're going to get wet!" I tried to stop him.
"A little rain wouldn't hurt me," he shot me a wink and I almost fainted at the sight.
He passed me and I caught a whiff of his cologne, the smallest hint of it already transporting me into places I don't dare go in. He carried my stuff for me as he opened the umbrella I didn't even notice he had because I was busy looking at him.
"L-Let me carry the umbrella, at least," I offered like a decent human being. I made a move to grab the umbrella, but he quickly moved it away.
I glanced up at him and I was taken aback by the sharp and scathing look he gave me, but it was gone in less than a second. He opened the car door for me and I immediately forget about it. To his warm cologne and his even warmer actions, it was easy to like him.
"Cold?" he asked as he buckled his seatbelt. I nodded, not that I had a choice, I was literally shivering when I got in.
I murmured a small 'thank you' when he upped the heat in his car, and just like that, we drove away from that wretched waiting shed. I held in a satisfied exhale as I sank into the softest and most comfortable seat I've ever sat on.
"You said your workplace was near here?" I began to speak in hopes to fill in the awkward air. "May I ask what you do?"
"I have a startup company along with my friends downtown. You know that 7-Eleven by the corner?" I nodded slowly and he hummed. "It's near that area. I always pass this road to go home."
So that explains the aura he exuded - mature, well-put together. And, by God, the way he always dressed. Today, he wore a business suit that was tailored so well and emphasized his body. It made him look like he had power.
"You?" he continued. "Where have you been?"
"Oh, I just met up with a couple of my friends," I shrugged. "Got a little too carried away and missed my ride."
"No one offered to take you home?"
"They all live on the other side of the city, plus my complex is far. I don't mind riding the bus."
There was a moment of hesitation on his face. "I can drive for you from now on," he offered as he glanced at me side-eyed while he tried to focus on the road.
I watched him side-eyed as well, afraid to turn my head to stare at him head on. My mouth felt dry and I didn't know what to say, and there was a certain gentleness in his voice that made me want to reach out to him.
"N-No, I don't want to be a bother, Mr. Choi."
"San."
"Huh?" I asked, confused.
In an instant, he turned and our eyes finally met. "Just call me San."
"I-I can't possibly do that," I muttered. I felt my heart lodge onto my throat, but I tried to play it cool. "You are my senior."
He put on the most inviting, volatile, and apathetic smirk. It was such the opposite expression to his usual gentleness. "Why?" San raised a mischievous brow. "Your boyfriend is going to get mad?"
I couldn't move, it felt like I would have to muster tremendous effort to do so, and my brain was lagging. I had to think and move well.
"No, I don't have a boyfriend," I finally uttered. His smirk grows bigger, though I chose to ignore it.
"That settles it, then," San chuckled more to himself, the sound of it so low that it brought shivers to my spine.
He noticed it and before I could turn away from him clearly flustered, a grin spread across his face and made him look even more handsome than he already was, if it was possible. I'm pretty sure my face was redder than a tomato right now.
"Are you going to be a dear and think about it, at least?" San looked left and right on the street before driving across the familiar intersection that led to the complex.
At that moment, I felt my body flush warm. I must have made a small sound of agreement because San let it go for now and finally concentrated on driving both of us. I'm not even sure, and I don't want to care right now.
It was silent, the only sound we could hear was the rain hitting the roof of the car and the heater whirring in the air. Outside there is no traffic and the light had finally gone, which might mean that it was almost nighttime. The fragile peace had taken over us, and it gave me moments to think.
Being in the car with the one and only Choi San definitely wasn't in my list of things to do today. He was well-known in the complex we lived at immediately after he moved in a couple of months ago. He wasn't my neighbour, not even close, but even he had caught my unassuming eye.
He was attractive - hot, to be frank. When he walked into the room, it seemed as if conversation stopped to sit in stunned silence, he had all of our attention and he knew it. He knew damn well we all found him attractive, yet he never let it all go into his head. He was the sweetest gentleman who always smiled and helped around without asking for something in return.
I couldn't help the admiration I felt for him, and it wasn't only me who held a high opinion of him, everyone I knew did so that automatically doesn't make my admiration anything special in itself.
Or maybe mine was something more. I quickly brushed the thought away from my mind because I knew that it was impossible. San might not even look or want somebody that was much younger than him. In this case, if I wasn't mistaken, I was a good ten years younger than him.
"You look like you want to say something," San suddenly spoke.
"Do you have a family?" I sputtered out before I could stop myself.
I was waiting for San to laugh or think I'm stupid, or perhaps make a snide remark of how nosy I was getting, but it never came.
"No, I currently don't," he replied, the gentleness he was known for back in his voice.
Which means that he's open to having one in the future.
"I see," I trailed off. I didn't know what else to say, I already got the answer to my question.
I choked on my next breath when I felt San's right hand grab my thigh. Almost robotically, my head slowly swivels to stare at him wide-eyed with unparalleled surprise. He stayed focused on the road, but I saw a ghost of a smirk grace his lips.
"Close your mouth, doll," San whispered, his voice dropping into a husky rasp. "Look away."
It took everything in me to do so and stare straight ahead on the unwinding road. The sudden grab made my heart pound so hard, the way his thumb would slowly caress my thighs left goosebumps in its wake.
"Mr. Choi," I began, trying very hard to keep my voice leveled, but we both knew that it sounded shakier than the sky right now.
He side-eyes me once more, his other hand still maneuvering the steering wheel, and raised a brow. "I told you," he griped. "It's San."
A shaky breath left my mouth when he squeezed my thigh. It was enough for me to feel it, but not enough for it to hurt - not even close. He let go momentarily and drummed his slender fingers on my thighs, instead. I swallowed as I stared at his sinful fingers, the things they could do...
"Say my name."
I snapped out of the indecent thoughts from my head before they could fully form. "Pardon?" I questioned.
He chuckled, this time, those dimples of his popped out again. I could have sworn my heart leapt out of my chest. "I said," San spoke, his voice quiet but firm. "Say my name."
"B-But--"
"Say it."
I gasped when he squeezed my thigh with more pressure. It still didn't hurt, but something else of mine hurt. "Okay, okay," I sighed. "S-San."
His lips stretched into a satisfied grin and he finally let go and kept his hand to himself. "Good girl," he smiled.
The hair on my nape prickled at the way San's voice - deep, thick, and most of all, powerful - but that wasn't even the worst part. He was smiling, and that smile was something he reserved when he was being the sweetest, most precious gentleman everybody knew him to be.
What have I gotten myself into? Was he not who everybody, including me, thought he was? My chest was about to explode, my hands were getting clammy and I was close to hyperventilating as I leaned closer to the door to try and avoid him.
Soon enough, we reached the apartment complex and he had slowly stopped the car in front of my apartment. I don't know how he knew where I lived, but at this point, I was not even going to ask. I might hear something I was not ready to hear.
"T-Thank you," I mumbled and hurriedly grabbed my things so I could get the hell out of his car as fast as humanly possible. There was no way I was staying in it longer - it was suffocating.
I speedwalked immediately away and I was about to be completely out of his sight when he stopped me and called me back. "Y/N, wait."
I cursed under my breath and begrudgingly looked back at him with an expectant gaze. The tremors in my heart upped when I saw that beautiful smile I always found attractive on him.
"I'll see you later, doll," he said with hopeful vigor. Did I want to see him again?
"I highly doubt it," I nervously tucked a stray hair out of my face to avoid looking at him. At the end of the day, he was kind enough to take me home but it ended there. We had nothing in common and there was no way he would look at me like that.
He smirked, the dark look in his eyes made me shrink from where I stood. "You never know."
He definitely doesn't mean that. Right?
I didn't bother to watch his car drive off. I quickly ran into my apartment and straight into the shower in record time to take the grime off of my body and hopefully, relax.
That was wishful thinking on my part. There was absolutely no way I could erase that odd encounter with San from my brain in the next few weeks. 
I stood still in the shower and let all the water flow from my scalp all the way down to my toes. Heat filled my entire body when I stared at the section where San had squeezed my thighs. It was slightly pink from the pressure, something that would face away in a couple of minutes.
The way his personality would switch in a matter of seconds creeped the living hell out of me. He went from being so endearing to something else completely that went over my brain capacity.
I frowned, not fully able to comprehend how San was as a person. This is exactly why you should never take a person at face value - they might end up surprising you in ways you never thought was even possible.
I dried my hair, still in a daze. Usually I would spend some time with skin and body care, but tonight I didn't care enough to even make an effort, so after I was done with my hair, I put on my favourite silk nightgown.
I decided to sit down momentarily on the couch to do some deep thinking, but that ended up being a dud. Within moments, I was asleep.
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I stirred awake in the middle of the night, I was confused, I was the type who slept like a log once I'm out - this means I usually never wake up in between my sleep, if not, at all. I tried to shake the confusion and moved my arm towards the bedside table to grab my phone.
'4:20 A.M.'
I groaned softly, frustrated at the fact that it's dead in the night and I was sentient. I had to work in a few hours and I never did well when my sleep pattern was disturbed. I willed myself to sleep and put the blanket over my head.
I opened my eyes, startled. Blanket?
I tried to make sense of what my mind was slowly realizing. I was in bed when I knew for a fact that I had fallen asleep on the couch hours ago.
My brain alerted me into panic and this time, I was fully awake. Maybe I had walked to my bed half asleep and I just didn't remember it? Impossible. I was a heavy sleeper, I would have definitely remembered if I got up unceremoniously. So the question was, how am I here, and how long have I been here?
I sat up, rubbing my eyes timidly to will the sleepiness away from me. Maybe I have just been stressed out at work and am blacking out sometimes, which was worrying if that really was the case.
I looked at the couch I was in and everything was fine, except for the dark figure sitting down on it. I stared for a few minutes before shaking my head.
"Definitely tired," I mumbled to myself, disoriented, before laying back down and trying to fall back asleep. I wonder what that was...
My heart dropped to my stomach when I realized what the hell I just saw and I opened my eyes once more, this time, the sleepiness was fading away. A dark figure sitting on my couch?
How long has it been here just watching me sleep? I stiffened, the energy in the room felt absolutely different. I stayed still, listening quietly if something would be moved or if I was really imagining things. 
But nothing. Just the thick, sinister silence that enveloped the room. With mild unease slowly creeping up to me, I chose to stay still in fear, hoping that this was only a dream and that thing was a figment of my imagination.
Except that I knew it wasn't. I knew it was a person. I saw that it was a man. He was sitting comfortably on my couch with his arms crossed, watching me sleep.
My worst fears came to life when I heard a shuffle and the distinct sound of somebody getting up from the couch. My heart started beating frantically when I felt the bed dip behind me. I tried not to flinch at the sudden intrusion, I tried not to breathe either.
Who was in my bed? How in the world did they even get in? I was a thousand percent sure I locked the door when I came home too, so how? Luckily, the only other entrance to my apartment - my window - was in my direct view, and my heart dropped when I saw that it was wide open.
'Please, go away, please,' I prayed inside my head, but things never really worked out like that, didn't they?
I felt a large hand touch my leg, its presence leaving a burning feeling upon my skin. It stayed there for what seemed like forever until it gently lifted the blanket up a bit so the hand could slide up my skin.
I tried to remain unmoved as my mind struggled to make sense of what was happening and I almost let out a whimper when I felt the rough hand slowly caress my skin and it wept higher until it stopped at my clothed thigh. His hand was dangerously close to my core and it was terrifying.
I shut my eyes as tightly as possible, the dread of waiting what he was going to do next making me want to pass out in extreme horror. 
He did the unexpected - he lifted his hand away from my thigh and I would have been relieved, but I felt the mattress dip even more and I can tell from the movement that he was trying to climb the bed and stay next to me.
Tears started to pool in my eyes, I was petrified in fear. I heard the man sigh softly as he slowly started to stroke my hair in the warmest and gentlest manner. I stopped breathing when his fingers slowly started to trace my face - my cheeks, lips, nose.
"I know you're awake," I heard him whisper, cutting through the dead silence.
I willed myself to open my eyes and it took a while for them to adjust, but the panic seeps into me nonetheless when I saw him. He was sitting tentatively beside me, and since he was against the light, I still couldn't see his face clearly.
But I can tell he was huge. There was no way I could fight him.
"Did you...move me to the bed?" I asked, my voice shaking as I fought the tears from falling from my eyes.
"Yes," he replied, and the sound of it sent shivers to my body. He had a deeper voice, it was unfortunately pleasant to my ears.
"What do you want from me?" I asked next, afraid of what the answer might be. He began to stroke my hair again. "Please, don't do that..."
He tensed, his hand stopping at my head and I was terrified that he would start grabbing my hair, but surprisingly, he does stop. "A lot of things," he cryptically replied.
I suppress a whimper when I feel him move. I was too terrified to move and the intruder took the opportunity to lean down my ear. 
I exhaled a terrified sigh when I felt his breath hit my ear. I finally let out a whimper when he blew softly in my ear and more goosebumps flared up on my skin. He chuckled softly, the closeness of his proximity emphasizing how menacing it was.
"For example," I could hear the smirk in his voice. "You, for one." 
My eyes go wide, the reality of the situation crashing down on me abruptly, and I realize what his intentions were with me - he was going to assault me. 
Tears started streaming down my face, and without thinking, I  pushed the blanket off me and quickly tried to roll to the edge of the bed, but I didn't make it too far when I felt my feet being grabbed.
I screamed bloody murder when I was dragged roughly back into the middle of the bed, my hands grabbing I could to stop myself, but it was no use.
I was flipped to my back and I cried harder when he grabbed my arms violently and pinned them above my head as he straddled me.
"Please don't hurt me," I cried, my own pitiful voice getting to me. I closed my eyes as tightly as possible as if that would make the man on top of me vanish.
I flinched when I felt fingers stroke my cheek gently. "Shh, breath," he hushes. "I need you to calm down."
I struggled momentarily underneath him. I gasped when he pushed the hand he was using to pin both of mine on the bed with a pressure that was almost painful. "Stay still," he said, his voice taut.
I tried my luck again but all that earned me was a growl from him. "Stay still," he reiterated coldly, the gentleness in his voice gone. "And shut up."
I listened and I stayed still for what seemed like hours, my position vulnerable. I was afraid of what he'd do if I disobeyed.
I gulped when I felt him leaning forward, gasping quietly when I felt his other hand cup my cheek and give it a gentle kiss, his lips lingering for a while before he started whispering the most soothing words I'd hear for a while.
"Just like that, doll, breathe in and out for me," he mumbled tenderly. He started to soothingly stroke my skin - my face, my neck, my arms. "I am not going to hurt you."
"I'm going to scream if you don't get off me," I spoke in an attempt to threaten him, and it came out sounding pathetic.
He hummed like a gentle parent comforting their child. "There's really no need, I said I'm not going to hurt you, so don't be scared."
"Y-You're scaring me," I gulped, my eyes still closed.
How can I not be scared? He was huge and I knew for a fact that even if I died trying, I don't have a chance of overpowering him.
He planted a small kiss on the top of my head and I caught a whiff of his cologne. I froze, that smelled extremely familiar.
"Am I?" I heard him sigh. "I'm sorry."
I can hear and feel the blood rushing to my ears. Now that my sight is blank, all my other senses are stronger and I am now slowly realizing how awfully familiar his voice was sounding. I just couldn't pinpoint who exactly it was.
"Do I...know you?" I slowly asked, my chest heaving up and down to due my breathlessness.
Unfortunately, he noticed it. My breath hitched when his free hand, the one not pinning mine down, lightly brushed my hardened nipples. I cursed mentally for not wearing a bra tonight.
"You're a curious one, aren't you?" he mumbled before he stopped touching my breasts. I breathe a sigh of relief. A couple more seconds and I would have made a sound.
"Maybe you do," he continued. "Maybe you don't."
What a terrifying response. A stranger, an intruder, was in my home and basically holding me captive and I had no idea how far he would go tonight. 
I ignored him and my shaky voice sounded, "What do you intend to do to me?"
Fright constricted my chest when he leaned down and gave the soft skin on my neck little bites, pecks, and licks. "What do you want me to do to you?" his husky voice purrs into my ear.
Heat spreads all over my body at the involuntary pleasure I felt from the little of kisses, the small kissing sounds his lips were making against my skin loud in my ears and I ashamedly clenched my legs together. I felt him smile against my skin when my body betrayed me and I gasped a bit when he sucked on my skin.
"I'm going to make you feel good," he murmured, his free hand touching and squeezing my hips and sides, just stopping below my chest. 
I whined moving my head slightly in a poor attempt to get him off of me. It was extremely humiliating. "Don't," he warned, his voice rigid and gravely.
Tears started to form again in my eyes. It was so pathetic. Had I been stronger enough, I would have been out of here. I gasp when his hand kneads my breast, and he was doing it so tenderly as if he was afraid that I would burst if he wasn't careful enough.
"P-Please," I arched my back unwillingly towards his hand. I felt him groan deeply against my skin, the vibration sent shivers to my spine.
"Shh, I said stop moving," he held me tighter, more tensely. I got a bit frightened, he was so unpredictable that I didn't know how to act.
My brain can't properly wrap around the situation. He's an intruder, which I can only assume as someone who is never up to any good, but he is excruciatingly gentle, and the way he can make my body react to his touch was alarming.
"Ah!" I squealed when he suddenly pinched my nipple. He laughed huskily and he didn't do it again. My skin was on fire, I have never been more terrified in my life than right now.
"You feel so good, I can't wait to make you mine." he growled. "Not that you weren't yet."
It occurred to me that it must be a nightmare, perhaps I should just go with it, or maybe if she refused he would willingly leave. But that would never happen, he was here to take me.
I snapped back into reality when I heard the worst sound I could possibly hear all night - a zipper being undone.
I began thrashing and resisting again. "Wait, wait, please stop," I begged. "I-I'll give you anything you want, I have money---"
I screamed when his hand wrapped around my neck. "You're testing my patience, doll," he hissed, squeezing on the sides of my neck. 
I choked on little air, I was getting lightheaded before he let me go. I took big gulps of chair as I coughed, scared out of my wits. Oh God, I thought dreadfully. He's going to kill me!
"You move one more time," he whispered menacingly. "I am going to  shove my cock in you and fuck you like the little cumslut you are." I whined when he bit my shoulder painfully, I was pretty sure it drew blood. "You understand?"
When I didn't respond, he bit my shoulder harder. "Speak when told to," he growled.
"Yes! Yes! Okay, okay! Please," I cried like a wounded animal, - well, I am now - and he lets my shoulders go.
"Good. If you're a good girl, I won't do anything," he chuckled. He gave me soft kisses on the area he bit. "You poor thing..."
This was much worse than I thought. I hate this, I hate every single moment of this. I had noticed early on that if I did as he said, he would be fine, but the moment I acted up, he would get rougher.
"Anyway," he said sarcastically. "I don't want your money."
"Why not?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.
He laughed amusingly. He had an infuriatingly attractive laugh. If only it wasn't too dark, I could have seen his face too. "Because money can't get me what I want right now." 
I frowned. "I'm going to call the police on you," I stated, my voice shaking, hoping that he'd get intimidated enough.
"Cute," he chuckled lowly. 
"Please, don't do this," I begged loudly. 
"Why not?" he clicked his tongue. "I promise that I wouldn't do anything you don't want."
"I don't want you here," I sniffled.
"Don't say that," he replied tensely, his grip on my hands tightening as well.
There was nothing more I wished for right now than somebody to help me. My mind drifted to Mr. Choi. He would have helped me if I asked. I regretted not getting his number like everyone did.
Even with the odd encounter in the car with him, I knew him to be of moral standards and he would help. He was the only one I knew big and strong enough to take this stranger down.
He finally let my hands go and I tensed as I felt him moving in on top of me. I whimpered when his hands spread my legs so he could lay down on me in between them. I blushed both in anger and embarrassment. I had no underwear tonight and I can feel his erection straining through his pants.
His mouth found mine and my eyes flew open immediately. He gave me an open mouthed kiss before pulling away to grasp the back of my neck.
"Look at me," he demanded roughly. I shook my head aggressively and in rebellion and turned my head to the side in spite. He can honestly kiss my ass---
"Oh," I rasped when his hand started to massage and knead my inner thighs. I winced when his mouth started to attack my neck again. This time he roughly bit and sucked, his tongue swirled all over the sensitive parts of my skin as his hands slowly went higher and higher at a dangerous pace.
I was overwhelmed with the odd mixture of pain, fear, pleasure, and hopelessness. The way his hot breath hit my ears was so distracting too.
"Doll, look at me," he whispered against my ear in a tortured voice. "I want to see your beautiful face."
"Please, stop! I really don't want to," I gritted my teeth.
He chuckled. "We'll see."
He lifts my nightgown up to my hips and before I knew it, his nimble fingers grazed my pussy. I was petrified, heat ignited my whole being. I hear his shaky breaths against my ear and I fight off the urge to even breathe, myself.
"Stop it, please, stop," I begged through my broken cries.
He ignored my pleas as he played with little tufts of my hair down there. I didn't shave, yes, but I wasn't expecting this either. He traces my pussy lips with a finger, sliding up and down, and I couldn't stop the moan from my lips when he goes in between.
"That feel good?" he whispered, his voice taut. He groaned when my body shakes beneath him as he circled my swollen clit. "I can give you more than this."
"N-No, please, I-I think I'm good," my voice trembled from the sensation.
"Then look at me," he commanded, his voice back to its kind tone as he coaxed me. "Please, doll."
"I don't know you enough for that type of connection," I swallowed. "Just get this over with."
"But you do know me, have you forgotten?" he mused, his fingers slowing down. I tried to rack my brain for anything, but there was nothing. When I didn't reply, he sighed. "I guess not."
His form went from slight amusement to a detrimental, subtle disappointment. I can feel his despondent stare penetrate through myself, and it was then I realized that he was actually disappointed at my lack of response. 
"That man in the car earlier," he began. "Who's that?"
I was confused at first, then I remembered what he was referring to. Terror washed over me, he was watching me when San had taken me home?
"A friend," I curtly replied, making it short and hopefully he'll buy it.
He scoffed lightly and removed his hands from my aching cunt. I was pleasantly surprised when he actually got off me and sat on the edge of the bed with his back turned on me. I breathed a sigh of relief but not for long because he still seemed like he wanted to ask more and I was right.
"A friend, huh?" he scoffed again. "It didn't seem like it earlier. There was definitely a connection there."
I gulped. This man was dangerous. He was watching close enough to know the difference. I had to tell him the truth. "It wasn't like that," I bit my lip. "Mr. Choi has always been kind, he's a key figure in the complex."
His back tenses. "Why? You think you don't have a chance or something?"
"That thought never even crossed my mind," I sighed.
"Why?"
His voice was very strained. I paused, not knowing what to say. It was unnerving and the silence was making me sweat. I stared at his form and I almost gasped when I looked up at his face.
I couldn't see it but the shadows in his side profile blew my mind. This man was clearly handsome, not that it mattered since he was a creep, but I don't know. Maybe I was expecting a drunkard of an imp. Certainly not this one.
He clenched his jaw and I had to restrain the cynicism in my eyes. "Is it the age gap?"
My eyes widened in surprise. How did he know? San definitely didn't look that old from afar. That or I'm the one who looks old.
"W-Well, not necessarily," I stammered. "Though that is a huge factor, yes." I had this urge to tell him the truth, I don't know why. "Plus, there's no way Mr. Choi would look at me in that way."
"How would you know? You never once spared even a glance in my direction."
I was confused at what he was referring to. He did say that I knew him, but I certainly don't remember anyone that I was close with enough for me to look at them. The physical aspect too, this man is big and sturdy, I don't remember...
My brows furrowed in concentration as the man stood up from my bed and my breath halted. That was a lie, I did know someone who looked like this.
He stepped into the light and I audibly gasped. I'd always known he was incredibly good-looking but the light that the moon gave him did him justice. His jawline was exquisite, such a contrast to his cat-like features, and by God, his body. 
He stared at me with a seriousness I'd never seen him wear before as he took his grey suit off. He was left with a black turtleneck sweater that did nothing to hide his large biceps from me. 
"S-San?" I uttered his name before I could stop myself, sitting up so I could take a good look at him and determine if he was an apparition or not.
I couldn't help the shock and the dread that came over me. The one person, I had been putting up on a pedestal, the one man I had been thinking of asking for help in my dire situation was none other my intruder.
"I am deeply disappointed with you, Y/N. Truly," he shook his head in mock concern and crossed his arms over his chest.
San stared at me as I attempted to cover my almost naked body with my blanket and a couple of pillows. "That's not going to help your case," he smirked.
"I'm going to scream," I said indignantly. San raised a brow in amusement. "I mean it, please get out! I won't tell anyone---"
"Scream, if you must," he shrugged nonchalantly, walking closer to the bed again. "I paid the neighbours for vacation. They're probably halfway across the world now," he grinned sadistically.
I gasped when he put his arms on the bed, leaned on me, and whispered in my ear. "It's just you and me, doll. So go ahead, scream. It turns me on."
I pushed him away from me hastily and edged myself to the corner of my bed. "You're a monster!" I screamed.
San laughed loudly. "Finally," he mused. "I was so sick of playing nice with you. I like you like this. You look prettier."
The way he laughed out loud maniacally and sadistically scared me almost half to death. It was loud, deep, and menacing and it reminded me of how the devil would laugh if it existed.
I was alone, so screaming really wouldn't do anything. And I certainly wasn't going to knowingly do anything that was going to excite him. That was a terrifying thought.
The fact that it was the Choi San - the well-known gentleman, the man who was known to always smile despite everything, the one who drove me home without anything in return, at that time at least, and the person who was beloved by everybody from children to elderly people.
And the one I had admired from afar because of those qualities. I felt betrayed, and it hurt more than I'd like to admit.
We stared at each other for a moment, unmoving. San's icy glare was shrouded with the unmistakable fire of anger and lust, and I was afraid of how he would hurt me if he had become a little too unstable.
"You're a sociopath," I declared after the awkward silence. 
He raised his brows in a seemingly displeased manner, but at the same time, I knew he was amused. "Oh? Pray tell, my pretty doll," he mocks. "Enlighten me."
"I mean it," I declared, exasperated. "Y-You can't just break into my apartment like this and expect me to like you afterwards! You're sick in the head!"
He sighed, looking away from and staring at the window he broke into. For a second, I thought he was rethinking his actions, but no. He wasn't the Choi San I knew him to be anymore, I wasn't sure how far his instability would take me.
He side-eyes me, I looked back expectantly. "You can just give in to me or we can do this the hard way," San convinced, his tone calm but persuasive. He knew he had the charm and he was using it to his advantage.
"You took that option away from me when you forced your way in here and touched me in ways I didn't want," I scoffed. 
I was about to say more choice words, when San whipped his head towards me fast and I noticed his eye twitching slightly and the veins popping on his forehead while he looked at me long, too long, and hard. I gulped. He was angry.
I know I shouldn't, I know that I'm digging my own grave here by talking back at him but I can't help it. Whether it was the betrayal, one only I knew, or the adrenaline, I wasn't sure.
"I wouldn't be so sure, Y/N," he hid his annoyance with arrogance. It was the first time he said my name tonight and it dripped with venom. "Come hell or high water, I will make you mine."
The conviction in San's voice at his confession was nothing short of astounding and the way he's looking at me right now, I can't stand the intensity of it - he would rather take death than failure right now.
"And who do you think you are?" I was irked, really irked actually. It was the easiest way to hide my panic. "And if I say no?"
San smirked, darkness shrouding his features like he was waiting for me to screw up and say something stupid so he had an excuse to finally say what he's been wanting to say.
"I'm going to fuck you," San dared, no hint of amuse left in his tone. "The plan was to make you submit, but if it's impossible, then I'll just take you. The choice is yours."
I was taken aback. "You wouldn't," I whispered.
San cocked his head to the side. "Would you like to test that theory?"
I can tell he was serious, too. I haven't known him well, but tonight was not the night to test his integrity and if he was a man of his word.
"Can we just do this next time?" I begged. "I-I can come up with a better proposition for us--"
"No," he quickly cut off. "I already called out of your work earlier, anyway. We have all night and morning."
My face contorts in confusion. "What?" I apprehensively asked.
San started to stalk towards me until he was at the end of the bed. I gulped, the way his muscles rippled against his clothes emphasized just how big he was and how powerless I was. 
He poked his tongue against the inside of his cheeks as he looked down on me, literally and figuratively. He exuded a power that you can't touch, and honestly, it made me realize how truly dominant he was.
"I know everything about you, doll," he said as he took his wristwatch off and placed it on my bedside table. "I wanted you the moment I saw you for the first time."
I was tense and I watched him take his necklace out next while maintaining eye contact with me. "I kept asking around about you because for some reason, we never were in the same place together. You know what they said?"
I swallowed restlessly when he started to unbuckle his belt next. "You were the sweetest, kindest, and now that I'm up close and personal, the most innocent thing too."
His eyes darkened by the second and it reminded me of that sharp and scathing look I thought I saw on him earlier before I got in his car. It clicked; which one was the real San?  
"I know everything about you, my doll, except for one thing," he smirked before he took his turtleneck sweater off. "I don't know how you sound when I'm inside you, yet."
"You can't do this," I whimpered pathetically, trying not to look at how unfortunately beautiful his naked torso was.
His smirks widened. "You asked me in the car earlier if I had a family." Finally, his pants were off too. "I could give you one right now."
I didn't even have the time to look at his body - both in embarrassment and denial - and I let out a loud cry of protest when San grabbed my legs again and pulled me towards him. I kicked to try and stop him from having a good grip, but he was too strong.
"Hey, stop! Get off of me!" I screamed when he got on top of me and pinned me down on my back again. He secured me by pinning my legs as well with his knees. "Stop!"
His hand covers my mouth and my screams drowned into a muffled cry instead. "Shut the fuck up," he hissed. My eyes widened in terror at his threatening tone.
His eyes were so dark, fierce, intense, and domineering and it was then that it sunk in that he really was going to have his way with me. I groaned when he bucked his hip onto my stomach. I panicked, I could tell that it was going to tear me into two.
"Get off me, you bastard!" I growled when San took his hand off my mouth.
He laughed that attractive laugh of his again, the dimples that made me like him popping out once more. "You don't listen well, huh? I told you to shut up."
"And I told you to leave me alone!" I snapped back. His eyes twinkle in amusement. "So both of us are bad at listening then!"
In an adrenaline rush, I spit on him, and my saliva landed directly on the corner of his mouth. He was surprised for a second before he covered it up with annoyance. "You're getting on my nerves," he chuckled without humour.
Without breaking eye contact with me, he stuck his tongue out and slowly, sensually, licked my spit for him to swallow. I feel a gush of wetness between my legs and my cheeks burn in embarrassment while I whine in denial.
He raised a brow, pleased. "Don't fight on this. Your body knows what it wants."
"Go to hell," I growled in refutation.
His eyes narrowed into slits. "What's that?" San spat out in anger.
His hand hastily grabs the front of my nightgown with such force that the straps both broke. I gasped and then groaned in pain when his hand grabbed my exposed breasts painfully.
"Please," I croaked, my voice strained. "Don't hurt me."
A startled cry escaped from my lips when he bit down on my hardened nipple and tears formed from my eyes. He looked up at me and his eyes softened when he saw the pitiful state I was in.
"Be still," mumbled apologetically. "I won't hurt you."
I exhaled in relief but that relief quickly washed off of me at San's next words.
"If you listen to what I tell you, I won't hurt you."
"Please, I can't do--ah!" I yelped when he bit my nipple again.
"I wasn't asking," he hissed. His tone left me no chance to argue with him.
I can feel the fear in my chest waiting to take over at San's threats. But I was a virgin! It's not that I was a prude or I thought I was better than anyone else, no man has held my interest enough and most of them were after my body more than me as a person.
I bit my bottom lip hard when San's mouth started gently kissing my chest and then his mouth closed around my nipple while he played with other. 
"Wait," I whimpered when he started to gently suck, his tongue flicking out to lick them and then twirled it around his tongue. It was something new for me and I couldn't help but shake.
"Relax, doll," he murmured in between his sucks.
Tingles filled my whole body, and I felt something tickling down there. Pleasure radiated all over and body in ways I couldn't understand and I started to moan uncontrollably.
I looked down and saw San already looking up at me while he continued licking the sensitive bud. It was such an erotic sight and before I knew it, a wave of pleasure sent my body into shock and I began spasming against San's chest.
San held me in his arms and let go of my nipple with a small 'pop'.  I buried my face onto his chest in shame - I had just orgasmed with my nipples, alone.
San gently laid me back and we stared at each other wide-eyed, both of us clearly shocked at what just happened. Surprisingly, San doesn't comment on it. He leans in and gives me a kiss on my forehead.
"Good girl," he murmured. He put my arms around his neck and he buried his head on my neck and rocked my back and forth. "That's my good girl, just relax, okay? I got you..."
The way he was looking at me with such tender eyes and there was an expression in it that I couldn't exactly pinpoint. His soothing voice filled my ears and I let myself get lost in San for a moment.
"My pretty girl, oh, my Y/N..."
"Everything about you is so beautiful to me."
"I adore you so much, you know?"
"You are so perfect, and you are mine."
That hit me like a ton of bricks. I broke away from a confused San and my tears started to fall from my face. This was so wrong, what was I doing? But he felt so good with me...
"Baby doll, please don't cry," he pleaded.
"I can't do this," I started to try and get up. "Please get away from me..."
He releases a sigh and holds me in place. "Listen to me," his voice held an edge to it. I turned my head rebelliously and gasped when he held my jaw tightly and forced me to look at him. "Listen," he growled, eyes glazed in unparalleled anger.
I was having a small panic attack. "I just need a moment---"
San slapped my already aching jaw with a force enough for me to get out of it, but not enough for me to bawl in pain. "Listen to me," he snapped. "Silence. Not a sound from you."
I nodded my head quickly, afraid. "If you resist, I will punish you," he threatened. "And you know how I'm going to do it?"
I held in a whimper, truly afraid since San had this crazed manic expression on his face that I've never, ever seen him have. "Well," he smirked. "Let's hope you don't find out."
He gets up and quickly drags me using my arms to straddle him. "Wrap your hands around me," he demanded.
I did as asked and he grabbed my hips to immobilize me. San looked up at me with such intensity and I can't help but look away. I felt exposed and humiliated and I couldn't help but let out a small moan when I felt his hardness twitch underneath me.
"What was that?" he mocked. "What did I tell you about making a sound, you whore?"
I breathed hard and heavy, my exposed breasts moving about, but I didn't answer him back, scared that my response would trigger him.
"Answer me," he demanded.
"P-Punish," I stuttered pathetically.
"Correct," San grinned and it resembled a rabid animal who was ready to pounce on its unsuspecting victim. "Little sluts like you need to be dominated."
I was wide-eyed when he grabbed my hair and manually moved my head up and down. "That's right," he laughed sadistically. "Good girl."
San leaned in and put his lips against mine in a rough kiss. When I refused, he pulled the back of my hair again until I gasped in pain. His tongue plunged inside my mouth and I tried to turn but he painfully pulled my hair again as he moved away slightly.
"Stop it," he whispered against my lips. "I'm not going to hurt you."
He pushed my head and he kissed me again, this time, more gentle and more considerate. I tried to see what he was going to do if I moved, and true to my suspicions, I felt his hand tightening against my hair again.
Having no choice, I gave in to what he wanted. San groaned in my mouth and pressed his harder, playing with my tongue sensually as he massaged my tits. My skin began to feel warm and my heart began to beat faster and faster and I was pretty sure he felt it. Or was that his own heart beating with mine?
When San touched my cheek with frenzied motions, I hissed and I couldn't help but moan in protest. He pulled back and tenderly touched my face where a bruise was forming.
"What happened?" he asked softly. "Was it..?"
I quickly shook my head. "No, I-I mean, well, I barely felt the slap and you didn't even do it hard."
It was true. I don't mean to defend his actions, he's an asshole for that but even in a haze, I felt him repressing and it was only meant to break my panic attack.
"I'm sorry, doll, please tell me what happened," San murmured apologetically, his words somewhat loving.
I hesitated but the look in his eyes was so soft that I just had to. It was the gentle San that everyone knew him for when everyone would ask for his advice and wisdom. I bit my lip, remembering that there was a time where I almost went to him.
"Earlier in the car," I began muttering. "I didn't meet up with friends, I-I, uhm..."
"Go on," San assured me, tenderly rubbing my arms.
"I didn't meet up with my friends like I said I did," I revealed. "My ex called to try and get back with me. He got handsy when I-I said no."
His hands tighten on my arms and his eyes transform into a murderous glare. He pulls me into a hug and pulls away. "I'm going to fucking kill him," he cursed under his breath intensely.
"And you," he continued, putting my face in his hands. "You will never, ever interact with him ever again. You're going to tell me if he bothers you again, okay?"
I nodded apprehensively, unsure of what to say. "Good," San kissed my forehead. I bit back a cry of surprise when he laid me down on the bed and started to crawl his way down.
"W-Wait, what are you doing?" I panicked when he lifted the other half of my nightgown and lifted my legs to rest on his shoulders.
"I'm going to make you forget about that scum," he declared like he was telling me the weather. "Until you only know me."
I was still confused as he hadn't taken his boxers off, that is, until I finally got a good look at him. He was handsome, the type that can bring you to your knees. His dark hair was disheveled and when my eyes traveled down to his chest, I wasn't surprised to see that he was fit and the muscles on his abdominal area were very prominent.
The arms he used to leave my legs up were massive and I can tell he spent a lot on the gym working them out. However, it was nothing compared to the tent he had on his boxers. I'm not one to usually comment on it, but I can tell he was big. It's super cliche and honestly, it made me cringe to even think about, but I've only heard of that size in the novels I read. 
"You look so beautiful," he suddenly said. His stare was so intense and serious that I couldn't help but blush. "I mean it, Y/N. You're beautiful. I'm going to make you believe it."
Before I could say anything, I felt his fingers touch my slit. I bit my lip to stop the moan that threatened to pass my lips, but when San pressed on my clit, I had to let out a muffled mewl.
"Don't hold back on me now," he smirked, rubbing my nub gently at first. "I told you, you will forget everything but me."
My eyes widened when he licked his fingers and went back down there. The roughness of fingers added a new sensation I never thought I'd feel and it was bringing me such shame that I was even feeling this way.
"San, please," I mewled again when he added more pressure in his ministrations.
Suddenly, his fingers were gone and it was quickly replaced by his mouth. "San!" I screamed in surprise.
I felt him laugh and the vibration of it caused me to arch my back and accidentally rub myself in his mouth. San took advantage of this and dove his tongue between my folds, lapping at anything he could get his tongue on. 
"Just like that, doll, " he spoke in between his licking and sucking. 
I moaned loudly, my hands grabbing on the blankets in pleasure. He kissed my clit and gently suctioned on it, releasing it and doing it again and that tingling sensation from down there came back, but this one felt different; stronger.
"San, stop, it feels weird," I moaned and sighed, closing my eyes  involuntarily and shaking a bit against San's mouth.
"Quiet," he murmured, ignoring my plea and continuing on.
I choked on my breath when I felt his finger slip inside my pussy while he still licked. It hurt a bit, but nothing crazy. He pushed deeper and farther, until he stopped unexpectedly and quickly got up to look at my face with the most shocked expression I've ever seen him have.
"You're a virgin," he reeled in disbelief. "You're a virgin?"
I looked at him wide-eyed, embarrassed. My breath was quicker and it made me breathless. "I am," I admitted.
"B-But how? You're so beautiful," he stammered, clearly still in shock.
"I-I've been waiting for the right person."
He closed my legs, leaned his forehead on my knees, and a deep groan that was similar to a suffering soldier sounded at the back of his throat. He laid there for a moment until he got up from the bed and paced around my room.
I was left laying down on the bed as I watched him go through something akin to a midlife crisis. My virginity was the reason why my ex left me and why nobody stayed with me. I wanted someone true, someone I was sure I wanted to be with and vice versa.
San briskly walked around, stopping to face palm himself, then stayed in his spot to raise his head in frustration. He collected himself before he marched towards me with a stormy expression.
He leaned down and gave me a chaste kiss on my forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment before he pulled away and walked off to where his clothes were and started putting them on.
His gaze was steely when he looked at me. "I'm leaving," he said, voice tight.
I sat up slowly as I watched him put his sweater last and then his jewelry, a little surprised at the turn of events. "You are?" I couldn't help but ask, slightly confused. 
San nodded. "I am."
I wasn't complaining at all. This was a blessing in disguise. "I don't get it," I said as I covered my exposed chest with a blanket. "Why now?"
San exhaled a sharp breath, barely controlling himself. He closed his eyes tightly for a moment and he opened them again, he looked so tortured.
"Y/N, I cannot touch you," he whispered. "I want you so fucking bad. I don't just want you. I need you."
I couldn't breath, my chest was so tight. He exhaled a sharp breath again. "I won't be able to stop myself right now if I don't leave. I want to fuck you so bad, stick my dick in you and fuck you so hard you'll forget your own name."
"But not like this," he shook his head. "I don't want your first to be like this. I don't want to hurt you."
I was so stunned at his admission. "So we're...done here?" I asked softly, unsure of what was even happening.
"Yes. We are."
"What now, then? What's going to happen after this?"
San paused. "I don't know. I'll live my life, and you'll go back to ignoring me."
"Alright," I whispered. I was trembling as I tried to mend the straps of my nightgown enough for me to wear it temporarily so I wasn't too exposed in front of San. Not that it mattered, he's seen everything.
I stood up from my bed and San headed through the door to leave when he suddenly paused. He turned around and faced me hesitantly. "Have a good night," he said.
I nodded and turned to look at the damaged window where he came through earlier to break in my room. "How am I supposed to fix this?" I lamented.
He turned and marched towards the window and inspected it closely. I stared at the way he furrowed and unfurrowed his brows in concentration.
He stared me down and back at the window and he definitely got snappy. "I'll pay somebody to fix it tomorrow," he announced tensely.
"Why are you mad?" I asked.
He raised a brow. "I'm not," he denied.
I frowned but I let it go. "There's going to be a storm tomorrow," I sighed. "Nobody in their right mind will come down tomorrow."
"Can you call your parents right now?" San asked gruffly.
I shook my head. "They live abroad."
His brows raise in surprise and curiosity but he doesn't dwell on it. "Friends?"
"I didn't lie when I said they lived in the next city."
He ran his fingers on his hair with annoyance, his tongue poking his cheek with a scowl. "Doll, you can't stay here."
I smiled without humour in irony. I wanted to tell him that technically, this problem I'm having right now is his fault but I don't. I'm too tired to argue.
I heard him sigh. "Get dressed," he said. "I have tools in my apartment that we can both grab so I can do it today, myself."
"Okay," I murmured.
San nodded. "I'll wait outside."
When I was done, I saw San leaning towards my doorway and I had to suppress staring at him. He looked good, but he looked aggravated when he saw me, and he reached down for my hand and he began walking us through the complex.
I breathlessly tried to keep up with him. This is going to be the first time I'm seeing where San's apartment is. His hand felt warm in mine and without pausing, he walked both of us to the furthest part of the complex.
"No wonder we barely saw each other," I couldn't help but state. "You live on the other side."
He didn't reply. He took one glance at me and continued walking. I followed him obediently without question.
I had an idea where he was leading me. The complex was split into three parts - the regular kind, the modernized kind, and the luxurious kind. I lived on the second one, and true to my suspicions, San lived on the third kind.
"You live here?" I asked in awe.
I was so fascinated with this area and the fact that San was known to everybody. People here barely interact with anybody, that would mean that San would go out of his way to go join and seek out the people in the regular part.
I was so taken aback by my own thoughts that I didn't realize that we were by his door.
"Yes, almost two years now," he replied flatly. "After you."
Unsurprisingly, the interior looked grand and deluxe, albeit a little empty. It made sense, San seemed like a minimalist person and it showed both in how he dressed and designed his home.
He tilted his head towards a door at the end of the hallway. "Tools should be over there," he said, not looking me in the eye. "Let's go."
It was obvious that this was his bedroom when we both went in. The room was large, there was a king sized bed in the middle of it and a couple of pictures hung all over the area. I went and inspected them closely and saw that he was with a couple of people.
"Family?" I asked.
He hummed in response while he took his suit off and hung them somewhere. "Sort of. They're lifelong friends."
He stepped towards the bedroom door, closed it slowly, and turned the lock before he faced me. I was confused, when he looked at me, his eyes were the darkest I have ever seen.
"Get on the bed," he commanded. "I'm going to fuck you."
I didn't fully understand what he said. I thought I heard him wrong, but he was dead serious. "W-What?"
His eyes never left me as he stalked towards me like a predator. "I said," his tone was grim. "Get on the bed."
My eyes widened and the wind was knocked out of my chest. "B-But you said you weren't going to touch me," I whimpered.
"I know what I said," he snapped, his jaw clenching hard. "I'm taking it back."
San stepped forward and stopped a couple of feet away from me. I stared at him wary and not knowing what to do. I'm sure my eyes held terror. "Don't do this," I pleaded.
I yelped when San pushed me on the bed. He stood by it and watched me scramble to get up. I was truly frightened at the person in front of me. He leaned over and placed his hands on the bed while he stared at me.
"You don't get it do you?" San grimaced. "There are no tools. At least, not in my bedroom."
My eyes widened in realization. His eyes narrowed in veiled anger as he continued. "Why would you come here with me? I broke into your apartment and almost took you against your will! Do I look like the safest person to be with right now?"
My chest fell and ragged breaths escaped me, but he wasn't done yet. "Don't you think with your brain?" San hissed. "You are at my mercy right now. If I want to take you, no one would know."
"Are you going to...?" I whispered.
His scowl deepened. "Yes."
It all happened too fast and I had no time to dispute him. My shirt and pants were off in less than a minute and he slammed me against the bed.
"San, wait---"
I gasped when he slid a finger inside me quickly and I was unable to stop the small whimper of pleasure I felt. That felt a little too good. I didn't even notice that his clothes were gone too, and I couldn't help but look down.
My suspicions were unfortunately right - he was not small. And he was hard. I may be a virgin, but of course I knew what dicks looked like. It was very imposing, it made my heart beat with hesitation and a little fear. 
I tensed when he got on top of me and I felt him kiss my forehead softly. "I'm sorry," I heard him whisper.
I subconsciously pressed my fingers on his shoulder, trying hard not to look up at him or even inhale. The scent of him, alone, was driving me mad. I felt him hot and hard, pressing against my hole, and he thrust in bit by bit.
"Oh God, San, I can't," I cried out. The pain was so intense that it brought hot tears to my eyes. I heard him groan when I clawed his back.
"I'm sorry, I'll be careful," San cooed as he gave me tiny, little kisses here and there.
A strangled cry was torn from me when I felt him move again. His pleasure filled moans hit my ears, the vibrations from his chest sending tingles to my spine. "San..."
"Just a bit more, baby," he whispered. "You can take it, I know you can..."
He made small, gentle thrusts and I couldn't help but applaud the patience he had for this. I can feel how he was dying to just thrust in one go. I groaned again, fully wrapping my arms around his neck, in pain. I knew it was painful for the first time, but this pain was a bit too much.
"Fuck," he hissed, looking down at me with lust in his eyes. "I'm sorry, are you alright?"
I nodded and he took it as his signal to push in a little more. When he  completely bottomed out, I couldn't help but moan loudly. The pain  felt like the good kind.
"Oh fuck," he groaned. "Your cunt was made for me."
He pressed a hot kiss on my shoulder. The dirty talk was making me dizzy and I felt warm tingles spread all over my skin. San stayed inside me, unmoving, for a while and we decided I've warmed up enough, he began thrusting.
"San, it hurts," I yelped in slight pain. If I was being honest, it felt unbelievably good.
"Just take it for now, baby, it's going to feel better soon, I promise," he pecked my lips before he buried head on my shoulders.
And he was right. I swallowed a moan when San began to pick up the pace a bit. I didn't realize that I was moving my hips to his pace until I heard San whisper the dirtiest things in my ear.
"Y/N, fuck, Y/N, Y/N," San moaned my name like a prayer with each vicious thrust of his hips. "Doll, please tell me I can go faster than this, please."
I moaned in response, not being able to formulate a single word. San goes from fully gentle to straight up rearranging my insides. "San, San, t-too fast!"
Each thrust of his cock sent shockwaves through my body and it didn't take too long for my laboured breathing to turn into wanton moans with the way he went in and out with his quick rhythm. I felt him twitching, pulsating, inside of me and I squeezed.
"Don't do that, baby," San groaned. "God, you feel so fucking good…”
He pushed onto me and took my mouth in a stormy, demanding kiss. I felt his hand reaching from my hip to my front and his fingers pressed up to my clit.
"You like this, doll?" San asked tentatively.
I nodded my head and kissed his neck. "I do, don't stop."
His fingers stroke me, his thrusts not slowing down. Tears from the slight pain and pleasure combined fell from my eyes and his speed built back up, slamming into me so hard, I screamed loudly over and over again.
"Just like, Y/N, come, yes, come for me," San bit my shoulder and it was over.
It was my first orgasm from fucking and my body spasmed against him so hard, San had to hold me down. 
"Fuck, oh fuck, you feel so fucking good," San's muffled moans felt intense against my skin. "You're mine, okay?"
"S-San, oh, San---"
I screamed when he grabbed my hair and bit my ear. "Say it," he growled. "Say you're fucking mine."
"San---"
"Say it, goddamn it, fucking say it!"
His thrusts got more brutal, ferocious, more ruthless. "Okay, okay!" I moaned. "I'm all yours!"
"Fuck," he got out and thrusted back in roughly. I saw stars then and there. "You're mine, you're mine, fuck.”
His thrust went even faster than before, the bed was squeaking very loud, and the slapping of skin against skin more obscene than before. It was agonizing as I was still sensitive and I felt another wave of pleasure come, but this time, there was no pain.
"S-San, f-fuck, I-I can't---"
"I want my cum in you," he abruptly cut off, slamming into me so hard I was afraid I would bruise just from his thrusts alone. "God, I want my fucking cum in you."
"Please," I cried. "I-I can't do this anymore---"
He shushed me gently, slowing his thrusts down, but it was worse because he was doing long, deep thrusts instead. "One more, baby," he murmured. "Give me one more and I'll stop."
He kissed me hard. "I'm going to fucking pump you full of cum, doll, I'm going to breed the fuck out of you, fuck, this body deserves to be filled up..."
His words did something to me and I just came without warning. I screamed, my body shaking, shuddering beneath him. I felt warm liquid gush inside me and San's deep groans hit my ears and it felt more intense than the last. 
"Good girl," San gave me a hot kiss on my neck and I shuddered.
I moaned when he pulled out, though it stung a bit. I felt his fingers dip back in there and when he put it up, we both groaned at the sight of his cum glistening and stringy against the light.
"Open up," he murmured. I hesitated but did as told anyway. 
He put his cum-stained fingers inside my mouth and I grimaced at the salty, bitter taste. "I don't like it," I complained. 
San laughed out loud and crashed on top of me, exhausted. I almost fell asleep when I felt him get up and leave the room. It hit me of what I have just done, but I couldn't bring myself to care.
I groaned in protest when I felt something cold and wet down there and I opened my eyes to see it was San concentrating on cleaning me up like he was getting paid to do it with a damp towel gently and slowly. 
"Thanks," I murmured. "I...should get going."
He stares at me, all traces of roughness, maliciousness, and sociopathy gone on his face. He looked like the San I'd come to admire from afar before all of this happened. 
He titled his head. "Why?"
I frowned. "Isn't this customary? I'm not sure if you want me to stay. People will see, it's already morning."
"Let them see," he shrugged. "Of course I want you to stay. Plus, it's not like it's much of a secret, anyway."
That piqued my curiosity and all traces of sleep went away. "What do you mean?"
He finished cleaning me up, discarded the towel in the nearest bin, and tucked my legs back in the softest, most comfortable blanket I've ever laid down on. It probably cost more than my whole bed set.
I blushed when he smiled at me. It wasn't a fake or imposing one - it was genuine. "I'll be right back, okay? Then we'll talk."
True to his words, he went back, but this time, he had a glass full of water and two shirts. He guided me up to sit down and brought the glass to my mouth, the only thing I had to do was make an effort to swallow. I had to suppress a satisfied moan when the water hit the back of my throat. All the screaming before and after sex...
"Arms up," he coaxed. I was confused but did so anyway. He put what I assume was his shirt on me, and then put the other shirt on his own body.
I let him do what he wanted, the resistance felt so tiring to me. This was the man that violated me in every way possible, yet why do I feel this pull towards him?
I already knew the answer - there was always something there. Now that he had taken my virginity, the pull has increased tenfold, and the way he was so sweet to me was a mystery on its own.
"So, how many?" I asked when he laid down next to me and put my head against his chest.
"How many what?" San asked.
"You know," I gestured between the two of us. "How many girls have you done this to?"
I was referring to the break in. He frowned and shook his head. "I am deeply offended, but I understand so I can't be mad. The answer is zero."
"You expect me to believe that?" I deadpanned. "You were an expert in being a criminal."
"It's not that," he sighed. "I can't count the times I stayed awake in this very bed and pretended you were mine. That was enough practice on its own."
He kissed the top of my head. "And I told you," he continued. "It's not a secret."
"What do you mean, San?"
"I wasn't subtle about it, everyone literally knew I liked you," he chuckled. "No offense doll, but you're dense as fuck."
"Funny," I muttered, unimpressed.
San laughed. "No, seriously. I did everything to try and get your attention, I sent flowers to your doorstep every Friday, for God's sake."
My eyes widen and I look up at him. "That...was you?"
"Who did you think it was?"
I paused, hesitant, remembering his words earlier. "M-My ex..."
It was the reason why I even met up with him in the first place. I thought he was trying to win me back using his cheap ways. San stared at me, and I could see the anger slowly rising in his eyes, but alas, in the end he ignored it, thankfully.
"Hmm," he hummed. "If he tries something, tell me. I'm not just saying this just because of what happened between us, but as a human being concerned for another's well-being. What he did was wrong."
I nodded. That seemed fair for now. I tried to suppress the blush that was threatening to flare my cheeks up. His words make it difficult for me to hate him, for now.
"Having said that," he cleared his throat. "I tried to chauffeur you too, at the bus station."
"And I meant it when I said I didn't want to impose," I mumbled.
"The point is, anyone with two eyes can see it, doll. I always seeked you out of everyone," he sighed.
He cupped my face in his hands and looked straight into my eye. "I know you have feelings for me, and it's driving me crazy that you haven't realized it yet. I'm sorry it had to be this way."
"But what you did was wrong," I frowned, putting my small hands on his to push him away so he wouldn't see how distraught I was because he was telling the truth. "Just because I'm not putting up a fight, doesn't mean I'm happy. Why did you do it?"
San looked so crestfallen and I hesitated for a bit. "I...don't know," he admitted. "I'm so, so sorry, doll. Please don't push me away."
"You don't even know anything about me besides the basics" I sighed.
Held my hand tenderly. "Then let's try now," he smiled tightly, hopefully. "You said your parents were abroad, where?"
I stared at him, giving in eventually. "Yes. In London," I replied tentatively. It was a lie, but he won't know.
"Ah. Migrants?"
"No, I laughed a bit. "I was actually born there."
"So you have that accent?" San teased.
"Maybe, you tell me," I said with the said accent.
I reveled in his surprised face. "So why are you here, then?" San asked, genuinely interested.
"We went here for a vacation but I fell in love being here and yeah, I stayed," I chuckled. "It's probably why I caught your eye, because I moved differently."
San shook his head at me. "No," he said. "You would've caught my eye, regardless, United Kingdom or not."
He hesitated, pausing. "I know you're lying."
It was my turn to be surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Why you're here," he said. I was about to say something when he cut me off. "It's okay, you can tell me when you're ready."
I smiled at him. "Maybe one day."
"I'm just a little concerned about the age gap for now," he confessed. "And I know you are too."
"It's not that," I clarified. "Someone your age would prefer looking for someone your age, not someone ten years younger."
"Does it bother you?" San raised a brow.
"No, not in the slightest," I replied truthfully.
For the first time after we were done, San gave me a genuine smile. It was the type that reached his eyes; the type that reached a part of my heart I've been denying.
The next day, I woke up alone in San's bed on what seemed to be in the middle of the afternoon.
I couldn't suppress a hiss when I sat up. Besides my pussy, my entire body felt sore. I'm not surprised, we literally went straight into it. It made me realize that I was so out of shape and I needed to catch up.
When I felt the side of the bed, it was still relatively warm. San must've gotten up half an hour before me.
Which wasn't a bad thing. Now that I'm alone in my thoughts, I can focus on thinking about what to do from here not just for me and San, but for myself without him. I couldn't deny that the sex was mind blowing, but I had basically forfeited any real chance I had to erase myself from San's life and vice versa.
Giving in was a no-brainer. No matter how hard I tried, I knew all my efforts would have been proven futile in the grand scheme of things. I screwed myself up, however. And now, I want more.
After some more thinking, I decided to get up and talk to San. I put back on my underwear but I didn't bother wearing some pants, and San's shirt was large anyway. I just have to be careful not to bend over.
I was instantly hit with the smell of food when I got close to the kitchen, after much exploring, and my stomach began to rumble uncontrollably.
San was sitting by the kitchen island drinking a cup of coffee. He typed away on his laptop with furrowed brows. I watched the man I spent the night with - he wore a black shirt paired with black jeans yet he still managed to look good.
My heart palpitated when I realized he was wearing a pair of glasses. I've never seen him wear glasses before. He looked sophisticated, more chic, more attractive.
"Working?" I said out loud when he still didn't notice me.
San finally lifted his head up to look at me and his eyes slightly widen. I suddenly felt self-conscious when he started slowly taking in body slowly from head to toe until his eyes reached my face. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he gulped.
"Morning, well, afternoon," he snapped out of his trance. "Come sit. I ordered some food for us."
"This is a lot," I murmured when I sat down and tried to pick what I was going to eat. "Why did you order this much?"
"I didn't know what you wanted," he shrugged. "And I didn't want to wake you up to ask, better safe than sorry. Coffee?"
I nodded awkwardly. It was harder to be normal around him than I thought. San seemingly wasn't affected at all - he was still the confident, undaunting, self-assured, and bold man I knew who I was always careful with even before all of this. 
He sat back down on his chair. "Did you sleep well last night?"
"Yes."
"That's good."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
I cringed at how awkward I was acting. Not that I wasn't before, but I was more so now that we've far more things that normal acquaintances do. San smirked widely at my predicament, clearly enjoying the effect he has on me.
"I'm leaving in an hour," he said. "Something came up at work, but I'll be back before sunset."
He looked at me to gauge my reaction. "I would like it if you were still here when I come back, I'll take you out to dinner. If not, I understand." 
I had to stop the urge to smirk, myself. Wasn't dinner supposed to come first before the sex? This is going nowhere, I thought. It's either I talk to him now or I won't do it all. It was now or never.
"Uh, San," I cleared my throat. He looked at me expectantly and I almost backed out. "Can I talk to you?"
All the humour and mirth disappeared from his face and he became so rigid and tense right before my very eyes as if knew what I was going to say. In hindsight, we both knew he did.
"Okay," he mumbled.
I took a deep breath and laid it all out on him. "You don't need me to tell you again that taking me against my will whether or not we had sex was wrong."
San listened attentively. "You hurt my feelings," I croaked, my appetite suddenly going down. "You violated me, you couldn't approach me like a normal person? You could have knocked on my door."
Tears started to fall from my eyes but San looked twice as hurt as I did, if that was even possible. "Doll, please," he pleaded, reaching out to hold my hand but I didn't let him. He looked even more hurt. "I'm sorry, please don't say you're going to leave--"
"San, 'sorry' isn't going to cut it," I interjected rather harshly. "They way you went about this was so, so wrong. What were you even thinking?"
He didn't say anything for a while. "I don't know."
I saw red. "You don't know?" I scoffed. "What do you know?! Which one is the real San?"
"I know that my feelings for you are very, very strong," he answered without any hint of deception in his eyes. "You know who I am, Y/N."
"I wouldn't say that, you genuinely scared me last night."
He sighed before burying his face in his hands and groaning softly in frustration. "I know," he whispered. "I'm sorry, my doll, I'm so, so sorry. I truly am. I don't want to lose you, not like this."
When he looked up at me again, I held back a gasp of surprise when I saw his eyes glistening with tears. "I was wrong, I know I'm a piece of shit," he sniffled. "I'm sorry for scaring you, you were right, I was sick in the head. I don't know why I did what I did, and I have absolutely no excuses for it."
I felt limp and San took that opportunity to hold my hand in his and repeatedly kissed it and my heart ached. I felt lighter though, I know the apology was shit compared to what I went through, but the acknowledgement was much appreciated on my side.
"I'll make it up to you, okay?" San guaranteed. "You said you were waiting for the right person?"
He gave my hand another hot kiss. "I'm going to prove I'm the right person for you, Y/N, I promise you," he assured with desperation. "Even if it takes a lifetime, please baby, just one chance..."
Call me a bitch, but I intended to make him stew a little bit. 
"One chance, San, just one," I whispered. "If you screw up, I'm going back to London."
I won't go back to London though, that was the last place I'd go, but it was just a just-in-case type of a thing if he does screw up.
San buried his face in my hand in an attempt to cover the silent cry he was pouring out of his system. "Thank you," he whispered. "Can I hug you?"
I shook my head firmly. "No," I denied. "You don't deserve anything."
San pouted, and damn it, it was cute. "Okay."
He wasn't the only one screwed anyway - I may honestly be more screwed than him. I've liked him for so long but I was always afraid that he wouldn't look at me. When he found out I was a virgin and he stopped, I fell for him a bit more. If only he didn't fuck me afterwards.
The fault wasn't his own though. I didn't push him away. For now, it was better this way so I can gauge his sincerity, especially about why I wasn't in London in the first place.
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A couple of months passed since that fateful night, and true to his words, San did everything and anything possible to get into my good side.
We were the talk of the whole complex. San wasn't exactly the most private person when he was trying to show his affection. It was uncomfortable since the whole complex seemed to cheer when they found out San was trying to woo me, but I slowly got used to it.
Sometimes I would even look forward to it. I do feel a little bad sometimes because maybe I was power-tripping a little bit but the tiniest complaint from me and San would get into action.
"How was your meeting?" I asked when he entered my apartment.
He sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh. "Terrible," he groaned. "Bastards are trying to haggle from us with at least 30% of the original price. It's ridiculous."
I never denied him of time either. I knew I liked him so it wasn't difficult at all for me, so we would hang out at each other's places, though more him in mine than vice versa. 
We were in an odd spot, we were technically together but not at the same time because we never got intimate or held hands or kissed. Not ever since that night.
"So what did you do?" I asked out of curiosity.
"Oh. I said yes."
I raised a brow in surprise. "You did? That's a huge percentage, San. "
"Don't worry," he brushed off with a smirk. "You know me, doll, I always have to get something in return. Wait here."
He went outside again and he was gone for approximately half an hour before he came back again, this time, he was carrying a box.
"What's that?" I asked out of curiosity when he set it down at the dining table.
"It's for you, my doll," he smiled. "Open it."
I hesitated, staring at him apprehensively, to which he laughed. "Seriously," San insisted. "You'll like it, I promise, there's no bugs in there or something."
I picked it up and turned it slightly. It was a lot heavier than I thought. I raised my eye to San, and he had this look that was a mixture of pride and fear of rejection. Carefully, I lifted the covers of the box and was surprised at what I saw.
"Yubari King!" I exclaimed in genuine surprise. I looked up at San and he beamed ear to ear at my expression. "San? How?"
"That 30% I was talking about earlier, I exchanged it for these babies," he carefully tapped the expensive melon. "Our client had Japanese connections, you'll get more of these soon."
When San asked if he could get me something, I mentioned these in passing because I know they were extremely difficult to find in Korea and are on the expensive side as well.
"Y-You didn't have to," I said, feeling extra guilty.
"I told you," he smiled, grabbing my hand to kiss me. "I meant it when I said I'll do anything for you."
"Thank you, San, I really appreciate it," I murmured, giving him a small hug. "You're going overboard, I'm telling you."
"I'm really not," he teased. "How about you slice that for us? I kinda wanna try it."
And that I did. The moment I bit into it, I couldn't help but moan out in satisfaction. It was so crunchy, the middle of it the sweetest I have ever tried, and it really put it into perspective why these were very expensive.
"Holy fuck," San exclaimed. "I can't believe this actually tastes good."
"What were you expecting anyway?" I teased.
"I was hoping they'd taste like shit so I couldn't justify the price," he rolled his eyes playfully.
"So thanks to you, we're eating good shit," I chuckled.
"Yeah?" San smiled. "Would it be possible to get a kiss, at least?"
I froze, my arms and legs becoming a bit rigid. San notices and visibly panics. "No, I'm sorry--"
"We agreed that I was going to do this on my own time?" I was frowning, trying very hard to keep my voice leveled, but I was shaking a bit. I put the last slice of the melon and chewed on it rather roughly.
"You're right, baby---"
"Don't call me that," I hissed.
San deflated, looking visibly upset. I felt so bad, but I can't help the way I felt. "Sorry," he whispered.
This wouldn't be the first time I had snapped at him. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I wasn't ready for any sort of intimacy with him even though I did want to give him a chance. Maybe it was the small trauma he inflicted.
Deep down, I knew it was because I was scared that once I let him in, he would stop because maybe he only wanted me for the thrill I gave him and my body.
"I'm going to take a nap," I sighed as I got up from the couch and tried to head to my room.
"Ba--Y/N, please, please, I didn't mean to make you mad," San pleaded. "What can I do to make you feel better?"
"San, I don't know, go pick some four-leaf clovers, or something," I spat, finally closing the door behind me.
When I laid down on my bed, I felt a bit lonely and cold. Today, San was supposed to sleep here. Yeah, for people not dating, we would sleep in the same bed. It was my sick way of dealing with my bad memories of him; so I can replace them with good ones.
At the far corner of my room, my eyes landed on the bouquet of the most beautiful jasmines I have been taking care of for weeks now. My eyes teared up, San gave them to me and I was floored. They were very rare where we lived.
I hit an all time low depressive state today. It had been two weeks since San and I started trying for each other and a week since I last saw even his shadow.
Oh, I was pissed alright. 
I sighed, I suppose I was right in not giving him a full chance because where was he? He literally disappeared, it was infuriating. It was one thing if he talked to me before and after, but no, absolutely nothing.
But behind all that anger, was sadness. I thought we were going to have something real despite the horrible start we had.
I sighed deeply and was about to go to my room and try to sleep everything out, but my doorbell suddenly rang. I was confused, I wasn't expecting anyone.
My eyes widened. Unless it was my parents. I got nervous, I wasn't ready to face them yet after running away.
I took a deep breath and opened the door, only to be face to face with someone I thought I'd never see again.
"San?"
He thrusted a bouquet of flowers in my hand. "Hi," he whispered.
"What the hell, Choi San?" I gritted my teeth. "You disappeared for a week without telling me where you were! I thought you left for good!"
"I'm sorry, doll, I really am," he frowned. "I didn't have service in Virginia."
"Virginia?" I raised my brow in genuine surprise. "What on God's green Earth were do you doing there?" 
He smiled widely, looking proud of himself. "I bought you your favourite flowers."
"What are you talking about? Those are---oh my God," I gasped audibly when I took a good look at the bouquet.
They were blue jasmines, a very uncommon species of flowers mostly found in the United States. My eyes started to tear up. "San," my lips quivered.
"I'm sorry I took so long, but you deserve the best," he assured, his smile growing bigger. "I told you I'd do anything for you."
I woke up all of a sudden, the pitter-patter of the rain hitting my windowsill loudly interrupting my nap. Suddenly, my mind went to San immediately.
I went out of my room to check if he was still here. I felt horrible for snapping at him and I intended to apologize. I was confused when I didn't see him because his jacket and phone were both still here.
"San?" I called out of nowhere while I tried to look at every nook and cranny in my room, but he was nowhere to be found.
I decided to go in my small backyard, knowing San wouldn't be there anyway, but my feet took me to my destination in my half asleep state.
I was about to leave after looking around, but my head quickly whipped back around to do a double-take. My jaw dropped instantly, I was wrong, San was here.
"Oh God," I whispered, horrified.
There he was, the big and strong man kneeling down the soaked grass searching for something in a way so concentrated, you would think he was looking for gold underneath the soil.
He was looking for a four-leaf clover. What have I done?  
Without thinking, I quickly ran towards him in the pouring rain, not caring if I wasn't wearing any slippers or carrying an umbrella, I just wanted to get him out of there.
"San, you idiot!" I screamed in frustration, quickly kneeling beside him to try and get him up. "Stop it!"
He was startled at first. "Doll, you're going to get sick," he frowned. "Go inside, I'm sorry I can't find any---"
"Forget it, I didn't mean it like that, please," I begged in exasperation. "I don't want you to get sick!"
We both stood in the middle of the grassy yard, not caring if the rain hit us. "You care about me?" San asked quietly.
"Of course I care about you!" I exclaimed, stomping my feet on the ground as if it would help me explain my thoughts. "I care about you a lot, you dummy."
He revealed a dimpled smile - a smile that was only reserved for me. "I'm glad," he spoke, grabbing me by the arm, then the head, and then leaned in to give me a kiss.
I kissed him back with equal desperation. It was everything I needed right now and the sparks that traveled through our bodies were intensifying the unspoken feelings between the two of us. Yeah, intense would be the word I'd use.
Before we both knew it, our clothes were gone and we were a mess trying to have each other on my bed, not caring if we were both wet from the rain. It might sound ridiculous, but there was no other way to describe what we were doing but making love.
"This is something you want, right?" San asked. "You'll have me, and you're going to want me to have you."
"More than anything in the world," I replied. 
"Y/N, I mean it," he kissed my lips. "I want all of you, not just your body."
"Show me," I whispered.
All our pretense and doubt went out and the world melted away into nothing. Everything was raw and intense, every breath fast and both our hearts were finally becoming into one. This was only our second time being this intimate, and maybe I was delusional, but this one felt better than the first. Maybe because I had feelings for San this time. Everything happened as quickly as it started.
"I won't let you down," San murmured, hugging me and giving me a tender kiss on my forehead once everything was said and done. "My feelings for you are deep."
"As mine are," I tilted my head to meet his lips. "Just don't break through my window again."
San laughed loudly. "I won't," he turned to the window he fixed up quite well. "On one condition."
"The audacity," I playfully rolled my eyes. "What is it?"
"Be my girlfriend?"
I frowned. "I thought that was a given?"
"Oh," he shrugged. "I wanted to ask anyway. Is that a yes?"
I nodded and was about to say something witty to him, when my phone rang loudly in the background. Without thinking nor looking at the screen, I answered the phone. "Hello?"
"Oh, Y/N, it's about time you answered," my dad's irritated voice sounded from the phone.
I yelped in surprise and stared at a curious San. "Ah, D-Dad, can I c-call you back in a minute or two?" 
I hung up before my dad could even say no. I hit my forehead frustratedly with my fist while mentally how dumb I was.
"Doll? Is everything okay?" San asked, worried. "Why'd you hang up? This wouldn't be the first time either."
I peered at him cautiously. "You noticed, huh?"
"Is it related to why you don't want to go back to London?"
"Yes," I sighed. "I'll explain later, let's get dressed first."
I dressed hurriedly because knowing my father, he would call back if I was even a second or two late from the promised time. If San and I were going to be together, he needs to know why I'm here. It's just a shame that he had to find out this way.
"It's okay, doll, I'm here if anything," San assured while the phone rang. "Oh, he picked up."
I panicked a bit and positioned the front camera to my face and out of San's. "Dad!"
“I'm disappointed that my only daughter doesn't want to talk to me," my dad's face held a little sadness, but nothing crazy. "Mingi and mom say hi."
"Who's Mingi?" San hissed. He winced a bit when I kicked him on the leg.
"I'm sure my brother," I glared pointedly at San. "And mum is fine."
My dad rolled his eyes dramatically. I guess that's where I got 
my bratty attitude from. "They'd be better if you came back home," he sighed dejectedly. "Next time you don't answer your phone, I'm cutting off your allowance."
"Dad..."
"I'm serious, Y/N, I'm getting old," he began to say, and I got nervous because I knew what he was about to say next. "If you could just give my friend's son a chance, you might make a connection with him."
San's gaze went from curious to immediately pissed. He gave me a flat look of annoyance. "Don't say a word," I mouthed silently at him.
"Dad, you know I want to be with someone I truly liked," I sighed  exhaustedly. "And I want the relationship to be natural, not because we were matchmarked with one another."
"I didn't tell you to marry him on the spot, sweetie," he said with a frown. "I'm not going to force you, but all I ask is an initial meet up and see where it goes from there."
When I didn't answer, my dad continued his tirade. "And what do you do, you rebellious child? You run away when you know we can't reach you!"
I glanced at San with a tight smile and a mutual understanding passed between us. Now that the truth was out, San looked weary and I got extremely nervous.
"I've met him plenty of times, he's a great guy, Y/N. Very polite, intelligent, and easy on the eyes too."
"I'm sure he is, dad," I chuckled nervously when San glared hard at the phone. He glared at it so hard I'm surprised laser beams haven't shot out from his eyes yet.
"If only you gave him a chance," my dad hummed thoughtfully. "He's a bit older than you are, but I'm sure you'll be in good hands."
"You know I'm not into older men," I mumbled under my breath. San had the gall to look extremely offended.
I muted myself really quickly and lifted my phone up so my dad couldn't see my annoyed face. "I'm just making excuses, don't give that look," I hissed at San. He just rolled his eyes like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
"He's not that old," another voice said from the background who wasn't my father. He must be out with his friends somewhere.
San raised a tentative brow and slowly sat up, but I ignored him.  He can stew for all I care. It's cute that he's jealous but this wasn't the right time, my dad might ask me to separate with San and I wasn't ready to get heartbroken yet, especially since we just made up.
"Ah, that's my friend, Cheol," my dad said. "Actually, it's his son that we were hoping to pair you up with---"
"Give me that shit, I can't take this anymore," San hissed and roughly grabbed the phone from my hands. I was about to protest loudly but when he gave me that especially terrifying glare of his, I sat back down.
"Please don't say anything stupid," I pleaded.
He raised a brow and rolled his eyes. He's really pissed, oh my. He cleared his throat and positioned the front camera properly towards his face. My dad must be so confused right now.
"Sir," San started with the most polite, but firm voice I've ever heard him speak. Spoken like a true business. "I'm your daughter's boyfriend and with all due respect, I really like---dad?"
I was so startled at San's voice but apparently so was he. It was like he saw a ghost with how pale and how wide his eyes have become. 
"San? San! Is that you?! Give me that real quick, Hyun Sok..."
I swiftly sat beside San so we were both in the camera. I was so surprised I couldn't even say a word. We heard quick shuffles from the other line and another man that looked just like San, but older, also had this shocked expression.
"That was your dad?" San looked at me.
"That was your dad?" I shot back.
"What are you doing in London, dad?" San managed to say despite the shock.
"Never mind me, son, what are you doing there?" his dad queried. I saw my dad shuffle in the camera and if it wasn't for the situation, I would have laughed at how priceless his shocked expression was.
"I knew that voice sounded familiar," San grumbled.
"Well, since it came to this," San sighed. He held my hand and brought it up to the camera for both our fathers to see. "Dad, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Doll, this is my father, Choi Jongcheol."
"Y/N? Is this true?" my dad inquired. I nodded in confirmation, afraid of his reaction, but instead me and San had the surprise of the lifetime when they started laughing loudly and chaotically.
"I gotta hand it to your son, Cheol, he sure gets the gold, know what I'm saying?"
"I taught him no less than that! Shit Sok, this was even better than we were hoping for!”
"Didn't even need to set them up for a dinner date, my God."
"Definitely went straight to dessert."
"Aye!"
"Okay," I spoke slowly and awkwardly. "Dad, what's going on?"
"Your boyfriend," he chuckled. "That's who I wanted you to meet a couple of years back!"
I was surprised, and so was San, with the new information. Now that I think about it, everything fit. The timeline of when San moved here, especially, and one time he did mention his father trying to set him up with someone but he also denied the offer.
"I thought you didn't want someone older?" my dad raised a brow mischievously.
"Some things change," I shrugged, trying hard to hide my blushing cheeks.
"How did you two meet?" Jongcheol asked curiously.
"You don't wanna know," San chuckled nervously. I blushed harder when he kissed my cheek in front of both our dads and both of them had this shit-eating grin on their faces.
"Well, we don't want to hold you guys," my dad said awkwardly and not making eye contact. I was confused until he said, "Your hair is messy, and San's shirt is on backwards."
I groaned in embarrassment and covered my face as I ducked away from the screen in order to save face. San chuckled softly at my demise.
"Well, be careful you two," San's dad teased and I heard my dad laughing in the background. "Use protection, Choi San, but not too much. We don't mind grandkids soon---"
"Dad! Ugh, so embarrassing!" San screamed and hung up.
He tossed the phone away somewhere on the bed as if it was the plague, itself. We both burst out laughing at the irony of the situation for ten minutes straight.
"Had I known it was you," I chuckled as I laid my head on his shoulder. "I'd have agreed immediately."
"We both didn't know, it's okay," San hummed. "We both ended up together anyway, didn't we?"
"True. The irony of it all, I can't believe this," I smiled. "Still, we could have met sooner."
"Sooner than that," he sighed. "Your brother has been trying to invite me to your house back then too. I just always said no because we were both busy trying to start the company."
I was startled. "You know my brother?"
I hadn't seen my brother, Mingi, for a while now. He was the reason why I was successful in moving here, though I never told him why. And my parents never told him either because I knew they didn't want to stress him out for his---
The realization hit me. Mingi was also ten years older than me, I was a happy accident, you see, and he was also trying to start a company with his friends here!
"Yes," San confirmed. "He's one of my best friends, didn't you see the photo by the doorway?"
I knew the photo he was referring to. It was the one that hung in his room, one of the very few decorations he had, that I was looking at where I thought it was his family at first and he said they were lifelong friends.
"I-I don't remember what it looked like," I admitted. San whipped out his phone and showed me the picture and my jaw hung open when I saw Mingi at the very top corner of the photo. "I've never seen Mingi with pink hair before, how was I supposed to know?!"
Needless to say, I was definitely going to call Mingi later. San laughed out loud at my expression and once again, we were laughing together.
"This fate thing is crazy," I giggled. "Do you regret anything?"
"Never," San shook his head. "I say we celebrate this new found information."
"And how do you propose we do that, Mr. Choi?" I teased.
I screamed when San got on top of me and he hovered over me with a playful smirk on his beautiful face. "I can think of a few ways," he pecked my lips. "What do you say?"
I giggled uncontrollably and nodded. We might not have started on the right track and some people might think I'm dumb for giving the man who forced me to his will a chance, but something tells me we're going to be fine.
By all means, San isn’t perfect and neither am I, but sometimes we need people who aren’t perfect to help us achieve what’s good for us, not what is right.
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armpirate · 7 months
Text
Did I say I love you? || Jungkook
Bf experience
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pairing: idol!JK x fem!reader
w.c.: 6k
Warnings: smut, fluff, breast play, female masturbation, male masturbation, public sex, unprotected sex (Minors DNI! Refrain from reading if you're not +18, and ignore if you don't like this type of content)
Aprox. time of reading: 26 minutes
Summary: Jungkook didn't prepare that trip with the idea of confessing his feelings, but his heart spoke up before he could control it.
MASTERLIST
Boba ball: Put smthg comfy on today
Boba ball: I'll pick u up at twelve
You were quite used to the special weekend dates you two planned, it was the only thing that made you move throughout the week in a good mood, excited for Saturday ever since Monday kicked in.
Two months back, it was his way to adapt into your life when seeing you in the evenings, after you finished your shift, wasn't enough. Although most of those dates happened usually in either of your places, because even if you liked each other a lot, you knew the risks of going out in public. Maybe that was what pulled you back from actually accepting a date from him the first time he asked you out.
You knew him long before your eyes met at your company's year-end party. His aura was already powerful when you admired him through a screen, but it was completely different when he approached you first, with a nervous smile that you thought he'd never dedicate to you. You knew everything about him before you two went on a first date, but it felt like you were discovering those things for the first time as you heard them coming out of his mouth directly. You knew the superstar, and all the consequences that'd come with it. But you also knew that boy who made dumb jokes that you'd only find funny if they came from him, because his giggles had you smiling immediately after. And with that boy you were head over heels for, you completely ignored those consequences, and were ready to face them as soon as they came.
You frowned, confused when you saw his car parked in front of your building while he waited for you, with his lower back resting against the bonnet.
Jungkook smiled as soon as he saw you doing a little run to him, ready to wrap his arms around you as soon as you stood in front of him. Although you stopped yourself from doing, holding back from also linking your lips together in a small peck, followed by a new one, and a new one, until you moved your head back to look into his sparkly big eyes, when you realized you were out in the open.
"I see you're excited for today" he joked, standing straight in front of you.
"What did you prepare?" you questioned, tilting your head.
"Hmm" he pursed his lips, looking away from you, "Should I tell you or should I let you guess?".
"You won't tell me, right?" your eyes were squinted at him, knowing him for long enough to know that he probably would keep the suspense until he thought it was the proper time to reveal it.
You hopped inside the car after he opened the door for you, seeing him surround the bonnet before he joined you and gave you all those pecks he felt only safe giving you behind the tinted windows of his car.
As he drove, you tried to guess what the surprise could be, taking in consideration the fact that he was wearing comfortable baggy clothes -not that they weren't his usual style, but he also asked you to wear something similar-, and how he brought his car instead of his motorbike.
As time went by, and Jungkook kept driving on different roads you hadn't been in before, you turned to him.
"Are we going on a trip?" you asked excitedly.
"You're close" he nodded, tilting his head while he kept his eyes on the road.
That answer left you confused, trying to think what could be close to a trip, and that'd also require you to leave the city.
"We aren't going camping, are we?" you tried to take a guess, unable to hide the hope for a positive answer with your question.
His hand laid on your knee, squeezing it as he giggled to your reaction "That's exactly what we're doing".
Your legs shook on the spot, before you took off your seatbelt and kissed his cheek out of excitement. You remembered you had mentioned it a week back, while you were watching one of the episodes of the kdrama you started watching together. It wasn't something you gave a lot of importance to, just something you mentioned because it also appeared, and it reminded you of when you used to do it with friends back home. The fact that he took all that information, and turned it into a surprise made your heart squeeze in your chest.
After twenty minutes on the road, Jungkook turned his face at you, giving you a quick smile "Is it a good plan? Or maybe you'd have preferred to stay at home and get some rest?".
"Don't be silly" you squeezed his knee, trying to reassure him that you were the happiest by his idea. "This is the best plan you could've come up with".
Your words only made him smile wider, thinking the corners of his lips would leave his face at any point by how they kept stretching whenever he was around you. It was simple: you made it all better, and seeing you excited and happy only topped that full sensation on his chest that he was feeling in that moment.
He remembered the first time he saw you, and how it all clicked even before you two spoke to each other. He thought that floating sensation that people talked about was only real in movies, but then he met you. Jungkook was convinced that the moment you two made eye contact for the first time, his feet raised from the ground and made him fly exactly where you were.
It was a non-stop need since you exchanged the first words, never getting enough and extending that small talk, that was supposed to last a few minutes, to turn it into a conversation that would only end when he dropped you at home the morning after.
He didn't even think he had that many things to talk about with anyone.
"How's work been?" he asked first.
"Good. It has been a calm week, surprisingly" you scoffed, turning to him. "What about you? How was it like to go back to the routine?".
When you two met each other, Jungkook was enjoying his last few weeks of that improvised break. He had all the time he could think of, and he invested most of it in you as soon as he met you. Calls, texts, quick visits to your company, late night sneaks to take some fresh air, or chill evenings cuddling on the couch... that was what you were introduced to after you started seeing each other after only a few weeks. And right when you were close to growing a deeper connection, he was sent back to reality -almost having him regretting getting back to work.
It still worked out.
You didn't see each other as much, but it was still enough to remind you both of how bad you actually wanted to be next to the other. Even then, your minds were still linked, to the point where the smallest thing would be a reminder of your relationship, or the things the other liked or disliked, the places you could go to together, or the things you could try to eat when you saw each other in the weekend or in those secret and short night outs in the middle of the week.
Jungkook settled everything when you arrived at the place, all while you stayed to the side while waiting for him to need your help. But he'd only turn to you every two minutes to dedicate a gentle smile to you while his nose scrunched, before he turned back to the half assembled tent.
"Are you hungry?" he turned to you with a sided smile, clapping his hands when it all was already settled.
Your stomach squeezed at the mention of food. Even if you two stopped at the resting area to get something for lunch on your way to the beach, your body was already craving for something more than some snacks.
It only took him one tiny move of your head to start walking back to his car and open the truck to get a few bags out. As you looked inside, you could see some meat packages, but also some recipients that you were sure had food inside.
You sighed, aware of all the work it took him to prepare all that for you "You should've told me, I would've prepared or bought something".
Jungkook smiled at you fondly, poking his hands inside his baggy pants. He obviously had the money to buy all the food you wanted in the world, yet there you were again: making it seem like he wasn't and he'd probably go bankrupt after buying a packet of pork belly. Maybe that was what he liked the most about you. It was always with small gestures like the one you just had, with the way you never, in those two months you had been seeing each other, made him feel out of place. You gave him a safe corner, where he was allowed to be himself, to be seen as much more than just the idol.
"If I had told you, there would have been no surprise".
You puckered your lips while smiling, thinking that he definitely had a point with that, but still feeling a bit guilty.
"Don't look at me that way" he chuckled. "I'll let you cook if you want".
"Okay. Deal".
Your upset expression quickly turned into a playful smile as you reached for the camping gas box he had brought along with the bags. Although it'd quickly disappear in a frown when you tried to understand how to get that thing to work.
You looked up to him with a naughty smile, pointing to the pan "Can you do one last thing for me?".
"Five thousand wons" Jungkook answered with a serious expression, offering his hand to you. Your smile dropped at that, feeling your eyebrows slowly turning into a straight line while you looked at him "Or, a kiss".
"Okay" you giggle, motioning him to get that thing started.
It probably was more simple than what you thought if you had only paid attention to it, but your focus was on the way the tip of his tongue peeked through his lips and moved his piercing to care about how Jungkook got that thing to work.
"Done" he sighed, catching you red handed staring at him. "What will you do if it stops working?".
"I'll ask you to turn it on again" you shrugged.
Snorting before he giggled, he bent over you to go for that peck he earned, aiming to go for a second one before you moved your head back.
He was so good at distracting you. And he knew.
As you fought to open the meat package, he saw some of your hair locks falling over your face, turning into something that could bother you to cook -at least until he took his beanie off, putting it on you so your hair wouldn't be getting in your eyes and face.
While you cooked, you could feel Jungkook's eyes on you. It was nothing new from him, but they had a special spark that day. You could feel there was something different in the way he looked at you, but you couldn't quite tell what. You just knew it made you nervous, ending up feeding him every few pieces that were cooked to try to divert his attention from you. But it only had you giggling at him while he chewed on the hot food, exhaling some air while he tried to cool it down in his mouth. And Jungkook wouldn't take long to do the same for you, taking his chopsticks before blowing on the piece so it would be at the right temperature when he offered it to you.
Just like you cooked, Jungkook offered to clean all of the things that were used, singing random verses with his honeyed voice while you just stared at him the same way he looked at you before, unable to believe everything was indeed real, and that special human being allowed you to take a spot in his most genuine and intimate side, which wasn't too far from what Jungkook kept thinking about whenever his eyes laid on you. You fitted together perfectly like puzzle pieces, and you made him feel complete, aware of how there was something missing when he thought he had everything he needed.
Right when you thought he'd sit still and finally join you to enjoy the chilly weather and the beautiful sight, you saw him walking back to his car with the bags, and returning to you with a small bottle and something that seemed like a tiny canva.
Of course his creativity wouldn't relax, not even in that short getaway.
"What's this for?" you took the canva from his hand.
"I'll explain it to you there. Let's go".
Jungkook held your hand tight as you walked into the beach, leaving behind the grassy space you had settled your camping on. You'd have expected anything, but not that he actually wanted to create a memory out of that weekend with you.
It was special, meaningful... and it also meant that he probably saw your relationship as something that could be long-term even if you had been only two months into your relationship.
"Let's put some glue on your hand" he started, holding your wrist to keep your hand stable as he traced a line on each one of your fingers and some circles to mark your palm, "and stick it on the canvas".
"You saw this on TikTok, didn't you?" you teased him, with Jungkook answering shortly with a proud nod.
You knew because you had also seen that video of a couple doing exactly what you were doing.
"It reminded me of you" he confessed with a soft tone. "That's why I picked this place".
You smiled as you followed his guidance, pressing your hand to later help him pour some sand over it. When it was his turn, you tried to make sure you poured the white glue the same way he did, marking the main lines of his big hand before he placed it next to yours.
Jungkook lifted it up with his clean hand once it was done, showing it to you proudly. That was it, apart from all the videos and pictures, that was your first memory together.
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Sitting next to each other, you two looked up at the starry sky, while covered with a warm blanket Jungkook just happened to have in his car -and that thankfully he carried with him. Your hands were sneaked under it, intertwining your fingers close, while his thumb traced some nonsensical lines that made your head feel at ease.
"Thank you for today" you whispered, only moving from looking at the stars in the sky to looking at the universe reflected in his eyes.
"Thank you for every day you've spent with me" he answered back, dedicating one of the sweetest smiles you had ever seen on him.
The burning sensation on your cheeks didn't take long to show up, forcing you to move your eyes away to look back at the sky as you fought to control the wide smile that was attempting to appear across your face.
"Hmm, what wish would you make if you saw a shooting star?" you quickly tried to switch the topic.
At first, you thought it'd be a way to change his focus from you to get it back on the sky over you, but it only made his gaze feel heavier on you.
What wish could he make?
He already had everything he wanted and needed, but he still tried to find the answer to your question, going through all the aspects in his life, covering up every corner, and all of a sudden every wish had something related to you. Jungkook didn't want that to end, that was his wish. He wanted to be with you, and he felt the sudden need to know you also felt the same way.
His heart pumped against his chest harder when those thoughts started crossing his mind, trying to order them all in his head to find the best way to say them out loud and getting them to make sense so you could understand.
"That the girl I love says she loves me back".
When you first heard him, you thought that maybe your Korean failed at some point. Could be you misunderstood a word, could be you misplaced the sentence in your head as you translated it. But it didn't seem like it when you looked back at him, finding his doe eyes bigger than usual, filled with that spark you had seen a few times throughout that day.
"I love you" he pronounced each word with the softest voice, holding your hand a bit tighter as he said them. "I know it might be too early, and maybe I'm rushing it, but I really love you. I want to be with you, and have these dates for a long long time. But I also want to be there for you when you need me, and look after you when you feel weak, I...".
"I love you, too".
You couldn't contemplate a universe where you didn't tell Jungkook you wanted exactly everything he wanted. Getting to know him during that time, actually spending quality time with him as you witnessed each and every single one of his facets made all those feelings that you had for him intensify every time your lips touched.
Hell, even your body felt lighter when he only pronounced your name.
His lips felt soft in contrast with the rough metal of his two lip rings when you linked your lips together, sucking on his lower lip before you moved to suck on the top one.
You just wanted everything from him.
"Come here, babe" he whispered, breaking the kiss.
"That chair won't handle our weight" your giggle built a few centimeters of distance as your head moved back.
"It will. Come here" he assured you, letting go of your hand to move the blanket away on his side.
How were you supposed to ignore those big brown eyes when he asked for cuddles?
You held onto the warm cup filled with hot chocolate he made sure to prepare on the camping gas before you could get all cozy.
"Can you say it again this close?" Jungkook asked once you were covered by the blanket while sitting on his lap.
A scoff left your lips at his question, knowing by the look he was giving you that he wanted it to be the second of so many other times hearing those words coming from you.
"I love you" you whispered, kissing his cheek.
"That won't work" his head shook while his lips were pressed together in disappointment. "You can't say those words and kiss me on the cheek. Repeat that, please".
"I love your annoying ass" you repeated, kissing the corner of his lips.
"Wrong sentence, and wrong place again. I can do this all night" he assured you.
His sassy tone made you giggle, trapping your lower lip between your teeth before you spoke again: "I love you".
Jungkook moved his head first, capturing your lips before you could totally lean over to him. It started sweet and gentle, but both of your mouths opened a little wider with every move you made, knowing it probably would be only the beginning of a whole make out session that could last for hours if you wanted to.
Except for the chair underneath you.
You only felt your body losing stability, and a loud gasp announcing the soon landing on the ground before you were actually aware of what happened.
Your cackles could probably be heard from meters away once you both made sure the other was okay, except for the hot chocolate messing up your oversized sweater and staining a bit of Jungkook's hoodie -although it was barely noticeable through the black fabric.
He got up first to help you stand up, holding your hands tight to make sure you wouldn't trip in the process.
"Look at your clothes" his concerned face made you giggle, thinking that he was more worried about it than you. "Change it and wear this".
Your mouth went dry when he took his hoodie off by pulling the neck up, making the white t-shirt he was wearing underneath rise with the fabric and expose his well-marked abs. You could feel your hormones start boiling up with that slight exposure of skin, feeling like you were back in your teenage years when the smallest thing was instantly connected to sex.
It was his power though.
Ever since you started dating, and even if you two tried to assure a normal date, the desire and hunger you felt for each other was always bigger than your willpower. Neither of you ever got enough of it. And that night would be no exemption.
"Babe, what are you thinking about?" he scoffed, looking at your blank expression as you held his hoodie tight in your hands.
But he already knew what was going on through your head. He could easily recognize the way your eyes darkened with some thoughts, and how you instinctively bit your lower lip to suppress them.
"Nothing" you shook your head, trying to get back to reality.
But it was too late to escape your ideas, because Jungkook already had a glimpse of them.
"Let me help you take off your sweater" his eyebrow raised with pettiness, stepping closer to you.
He blew into his hands, rubbing them together to warm them up before he started lifting your sweater slowly, making your body squirm lightly when the reverse of his fingers touched your stomach for the first time. The smirk told you everything you needed to know in that moment: he was going to help you give in to those filthy thoughts that flashed through your mind at the speed of light.
His nose rubbed against yours softly, almost getting your lips to touch as his hand moved dangerously close to your bra.
And you were already lost in him and his touch. With your boyfriend not having to do much more than just move his finger through your torso to have your knees almost shaking, eager for the kiss that would get you to lose your balance.
Before Jungkook could kiss you to let all his intentions be known, you moved your head back while a palm stopped him by his chest.
"Someone could see us" you giggled nervously.
"There's no one around. No one will see us. Don't worry" he assured you with a honeyed tone, rubbing right below the arch of your bra.
You both had tried to be careful with your relationship since the beginning. Barely going out -or showing no affection in public when you did, acting like strangers-, unable to act like a normal couple because the weight of his image was always heavier than your relationship. That, now that you were alone in the middle of nowhere, just lighted up by the fire he started, had you paranoid of someone popping up out of nowhere.
Jungkook was relaxed about it though.
Two of his fingers hooked on your chin, linking your lips together on a sweet kiss that would wash all those worries away, knowing a little bit too well how to get you to focus on him only.
Not even his smile kept you from moving along when your arms wrapped around his shoulders, sinking your fingers in the strand of his short locks as you tried to deepen the kiss. You could feel his mouth opening a bit wider when the tip of your tongue played with his lip rings, asking permission to get through. A gasp was shut down and drank by him when the hand on your torso moved down it until it reached your ass, squeezing one of your cheeks to pull you closer to his body and allowing you to feel the way his bulge started to grow against your lower belly. His hand moved a bit lower, digging in the link between your legs to steal a moan from you, when his fingers teased your pussy over your sweatpants.
You broke the kiss first, pulling from his lower lip, sucking on it, until it freed from your grip with a loud pop sound. Your open-mouthed kisses through his throat and neck, giving attention to every single mole in it, were also in sync with your silky and cold fingertips digging down his t-shirt, hearing Jungkook's groan above you by the contrast with his warm skin. You could feel the way his muscles contracted as you traced down your fingers over them, pulling playfully by the earrings on his left ear to get him to squirm and giggle because of it.
Your clit throbbed when his fingers digged over your clothed pussy "You aren't naked yet, and I can already tell how wet you are" his raspy voice teased you, while his fingers traced circles over your entrance.
"I haven't touched you directly, and I can tell how happy you're to see me by just doing this" you grinded your pelvis against his, feeling how hard and big he already was. "You're in no position to tease me about that".
"Get inside the tent".
You obeyed, taking your shoes off before you crawled inside the tent he settled earlier that afternoon. Before Jungkook could join you and tell you to get naked, most of your clothes were already gone, only having your underwear left. And when he joined you, he was also dressed with only his boxers, kicking his pants inside the text to crawl inside and close the zip.
It didn't take him long to kiss you again, with hunger and neediness, that you easily recognized because it was the way he kissed you whenever you were in that situation, moving his lips dominantly over yours while his tongue fought against yours.
The straps on your shoulders felt loose when he moved his hand through your back, moving the fabric away until it was blocked by your elbows on the flood, although it was just enough to expose your tits.
His tongue moved around your stiff button, almost as if he was preparing you for the moment he moved his flat tongue over it, sending an instant electricity through your spine. While one hand held your back, covering most of it, to keep you arched, his other hand reached to your mouth, moving his thumb in between your lips for you to suck it. He felt every rugosity as it got harder against his muscle, with his dick twitching in his boxers by the way you sucked on his finger.
"You're so beautiful, love" he admitted with a raspy voice, giving a peck in the middle of your breasts. "And you taste so good, too...".
Those last words were almost muffled with his lips enclosing around your nipple, moving his thumb away from your mouth so he could move it around the other one, just like he would have with his tongue, just to later pinch it at the same time his teeth bit on the other to get a loud gasp from you.
Suddenly the straps of your bra were a bother, keeping you stranded from touching him until you took it off completely. Your fingers sank in his hair again, making sure he wouldn't move away from that spot, while your other hand moved back his wide back with a soft caress that almost made him go insane.
Jungkook was too focused on the way you tasted, on the sounds you made, and the way your body squirmed under his, to notice the moment your hand moved to the front and digged in his boxers until your fingers wrapped around him.
The chilly air made you hum when he moved your panties aside, sliding two fingers through your slit until he found your entrance. He slid them into you slowly, until they were knuckles deep into your pussy. The steady in an out pace made your heart a little bit faster, and your mind clouded a little bit more, driving you crazy when he added a thumb on your clit, to tease you back by the way your fingers wrapped a little bit tighter around him whenever they reached his tip.
His fingers curled inside of you, tempting a spot that almost turned your spine into hot tar as he moved them up and down against that sensitive spongy spot, with your legs trembling the longer he went on it.
"Kook..." you tried to warn him.
"I know, babe. Cum on my fingers".
He said those words while his chin rested on your chest, admiring your face as he helped you be teared apart. Jungkook loved seeing how those lovely and innocent eyes went all lustful and dark when he did those things to you. He loved knowing he was the only one who could see you that way.
Your fingertips digged on his scalp, and your fingers set him free as your wrist twisted with the pleasure that ran over you, and took control over your body, when Jungkook awarded you with an orgasm.
You took a few seconds to get back at yourself, looking down at him with hooded eyes and a pleased smile, before you pulled him again for a kiss.
Your bodies moved almost at the same time, reading through each other as you sat on your knees to get rid of the remaining pieces of clothing to be fully naked.
Jungkook dragged you with him, sitting with his legs crossed, while his hands guided you to wrap yours around his body.
"Wait, the condom..." you reminded him, breaking the kiss.
"Fuck, I didn't bring any" he whined, throwing his head back.
"I didn't either" you puckered your lips, holding onto his shoulders. "It's alright" you shrugged, moving your hands up to his neck ", I'm on the pill".
"Alright" he purred, giving small kisses that never fully ended up with him sucking your lower lip.
One of his hands never left your body, always making sure you knew he was there for you, while the other lined himself up to your entrance.
You both moaned in sync when you helped him, lowering your hips slowly to take him in inch by inch, feeling him stretch you out and getting used to him while your walls wrapped around him perfectly.
One hand was supported on his thigh, while the other found some support around his shoulder and neck, finding the perfect stability to start moving the best you could in that position. He dedicated you one sweet smile before you felt attracted to his lips, feeling the need to kiss him even if it'd be interrupted every few seconds by your gasps and moans, or your sudden need to get more air.
"Are you comfortable like this?" he tried to make sure, rubbing his palm on your flexed thigh.
"Uh-hum" you nodded, too concentrated on the way his cock felt every time you dug it back in after lowering your hips.
"You're such a goddess" he caressed your cheek.
Jungkook was the type to do dirty talk whenever you had sex. He loved the blush on your cheeks, or your fucked out face whenever he said something that'd have you slapping his face in any other context. But he also loved showering you with love and praises when the mood asked for it. And that night he only wanted to worship your body, stare at you as you took him in and admire the way your lips parted whenever his tip rubbed over the right spot every few thrusts.
When you opened your eyes, you found him staring at you with that particular look he had given you many times before, making you smile almost instantly. You wrapped your arms around him, gluing your torsos together as you worked on him.
"I love you" he whispered against your lips, moving your locks away from your face. "I'm so in love with you" he repeated, almost as if he indeed wanted to leave it clear for you.
Your answer was interrupted by a sudden moan, before you tried to speak again "I love you, too" you let him know with a high-pitched voice, resting your forehead on his.
Your fingers dented on each other's skin, tried to get ready for the new wave of pleasure as your pulse started racing up and your breaths got heavier and more difficult with every move. There was desperation in his eyes as you looked into them, knowing your eyes were probably reflecting the right same thing with every move you made. His needy short moans almost made you lose yourself, delighting yourself with those sounds and knowing that was one of the few things you'd want to keep hearing for the rest of your life.
Both of your moans turned messier and cracked, while your fast and determined moves turned into arrhythmic and sloppy as all the hairs in your body raised with the new orgasm. And even though you could feel his cock twitching inside of you, spilling his seed, Jungkook held you close and tight, caressing you through the last few and slower moves until you stayed completely still on top of him.
The only things that could be heard in the tent were your shaky breaths, and the fabric of the bed beneath you wrinkling as Jungkook adopted a more relaxed position for his legs.
"Did I already say that I love you?" Jungkook inquired, looking up at you.
You didn't answer with words, but you did answer with a happy giggle and an intimate peck that quickly evolved into a deeper kiss.
The next afternoon, after eating lunch early on the beach, he drove you back home. Jungkook's hand rested on your thigh, while the other kept the wheel controlled, dedicating you a few looks every few minutes just to get to see you smile again.
"Are you sure you don't want to spend the night?" you asked, after Jungkook parked his car in front of your building.
"I'd love to" he assured you. "But I have a schedule tomorrow, and I don't want to wake you up earlier than needed. I'll send you a text when you wake up".
He always did.
Jungkook learned your habits the more time he spent with you. So even if he woke up earlier and you weren't together, his good morning message always showed up on your screen at the same time your alarm blasted to interrupt your sleep.
"Don't stay up too late" you asked him.
Although Jungkook gave you an accusing look, reminding you you were always the reason he stayed up later than what he planned first.
"I won't answer your tests after nine. This time I mean it" the threat you just threw at him was probably the biggest lie you had ever told him.
"You will, unless you want me to show up here five minutes later".
And he'd certainly be able to.
"You're so annoying" you scoffed, shaking your head.
"But you love me anyway".
Jungkook had been dying to say that sentence and for it to be true for a long few weeks already. And the fact that he was already able to say it with certainty that it was true made him proud, and you could tell by the way his voice sounded cheerful as he said it.
"I do. That's why I'm telling you to rest well" you repeated.
"I'll try my best" Jungkook assured you.
"Send me a text when you get home" you softly said, leaning over to kiss him.
"I will" Jungkook always did, but you liked reminding him.
After giving him one last peck, you got out of the car and walked to your house. Not without turning to him a few times to wave goodbye at him and manage to see his smile one last time before you close the door to your building behind you. 
Taglist: @ttanniett
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pedge-page · 7 months
Note
can you write something where pregnant reader has trouble holding her bladder and joel messes with her a bit? 🫶🏻
Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife drabble - Hold It
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Notes: This is NOT Piss kink, just a little Joel and Preggo reader torture amusement. I have separate PK x preggo wife request coming up soon
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The one thing that women aren’t best at as they get older is holding their bladder. When you gotta go, you go.
And the number one thing that having a fat ass baby shoved up your uterus and pushing aside every organ and pressing the full weight of their tiny bodies on—is your fucking already-terrible-to-hold bladder.
Bumping up and down in Joel’s ugly ass truck with suspension that feels like shit because you can feel every single crevice from every single crack in the road does NOT do well for anything except stir up the amount of liquids inside you.
“Joel,” you whisper warningly, legs scrunched together.
Joel knows the difference between your “Joel” with legs scrunched together and the other “Joel” with legs scrunched together.
“You better not have to p—“
“I have to pee!”
He shakes his head with hearty laugh. “I told you to go 30 minutes ago when we were at the stop.”
“I did go,” you retort venomously. “But now I have to go again.”
“We’re 30 miles from the nearest exit. What do you want me to do?”
“Drive faster?!” Are you fucking dumb?
“We’re an hour late as is. I told you—“
“Don’t you dare fucking scold me like a child Joel Miller, this bitch needs to piss and she needs to go right fucking now.”
“You going on the side of the road?” He suggests with half hearted venom.
You whimper and shake your head. You do NOT want to squat down for a piss next to the highway on the road. You wouldn’t do it not pregnant, but definitely definitely not WHILE pregnant.
“Just—just drive faster. And shut up,” you rasp. You hold your hands between your legs and close your eyes, focusing on willing your baby to help you squeeze that lemon for once. “And don’t breathe. Or cough or just —just don’t exist.”
Joel has to wipe his face to hide the smirk on his lips. Your sheer concentration right now, all burled up and shaking side to side has him holding in a laugh.
 He checks his rear view for any signs of cops, then begins to lean into the gas more. You would pay for the turmoil you’re putting his poor truck through—not in any type of obvious payment of course, but in a more satisfying transaction.
Joel balances the wheel with one knee as he opens a bottle of water set on the dash.
He keeps his eyes on the road and makes the loudest, most grating, obnoxious slurping sounds known to man.
Your head slowly rotates towards him as if a killer hawk were seeing prey landed right next to her. He only peeks over and see the absolutely thinnest lined lips on you, and your exceedingly horrifying wide eyes ready to murder him. 
“MMmMM,” he moans, gulping down the bottle with big swallows so you can hear it sloshing down his jugular with each bob.
“You—you shithead,” you snarl.
He raises his eyebrow. “Do you want some?”
You shake your head, neck bowed low because you can’t concentrate on a scolding your asshole husband and holding your urine at the same time.
“M’ gonna ruin your seats.”
He shrugs. “Wouldn’t be so bad. Got all kinds of your juices on here already, what’s another variety to the blend—“
“SHUT THE FUCK UP.”
“Okay okay, I’m pulling off.”
You tumble out of the car before he’s even fully parked, crouching low to the ground begging to God as your last resort to keep. it. In.
Joel just puts his hands on his hips. “You gonna do It through your pants?”
shutupshutupshutupshutup Ohfuckfuckfuck.
He can hear your tiny whimpers, looks down upon his poor little wife and her even tinier bladder about to make a fool of both of them and piss yourself all over your stretchy pants—
He decides you've had enough torture.
“Gas station is 7 feet away, honey.”
You look up and lo and behold, you’re crouched in a parking lot right outside the quaint convenience station, its glowy neon signs and cigarette flyers and “2 for 3” signs illuminating like you had just won the lottery.
“OOHHHH” you gasp, sitting up and holding your vagina in your palm as you wobble into the quaint store like Road Running and down the alley to the bathroom.
Joel comes in afterwards and does the courtesy of buying a few snack for the trip. 
“Pregnant wife,” he muses to the clerk as he slams a few jerky sticks on the counter.
The two of them are startled by a very loud, satisfied moan coming from the women’s toilet room.
The clerk just chuckles and rings up the items.
-
He checks his watch again, tapping his fingers on the wheel impatiently. What the fuck is taking you 20 minutes?
Its not until the gas station door chime goes off outside as the door swings open, and you’re coming out with a 32 oz Big Gulp cup of Frozen Pepsi ICEE while happily waving goodbye to the clerk as you waddle back to the car.
You settle your bumbum into the seat with a little wiggle and slam the truck door closed, sipping away happily with two hands fisting the styrofoam cup.
Joel has one arm over the steering wheel, facing you with a frown and deadpan eyes glancing between you and your cup the size of Africa, your annoying slurps filling the silent car.
You don’t pick up on his silent aggravation at all, offering him a chipmunk smile. “M-ready now,“ you chirp.
He grits his teeth while looking at the cup you can’t even wrap your fingers around. Holds his tongue and doesn’t say anything, faces forward and turns the key into ignition.
-
25 minutes later, with your empty Big Gulp cup rolling around on the floor mat:
“Um, J-Joel,” you warn again, this time voice wavering timidly. “Joel, I have to—“
“NO!” 
- - - -
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hearts4golbach · 3 months
Text
Paparazzi.
pairing:
Billie Eilish x Fem!Reader.
a/n:
reupload since i never got it posted here! not proofread
warnings:
nothin
word count:
1.2k.
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you laid in billies bed, scrolling on your phone while simultaneously listening to her work on her new album. you looked through your tagged posts on Instagram, stumbling upon edits of you and billie. the suspicions and rumors of you and her dating were funny, even if they were actually true.
as badly as you wanted to repost some of the cutest edits, you couldn't. you and bil had agreed on keeping the two of you a secret for the sake of your careers.
you crawled out of bed and stood up, one of billies largest shirts was what you were wearing. it was funny, it nearly touched your knees. you stood behind her, wrapping your arms around her neck and showing her a few of the edits you had found.
a small smile grew on her face as she observed. "if only they knew," she placed a kiss on your lips.
you sighed dramatically. "when can we tell everyone? I feel so bad lying to our fans." -you were an artist, too. billie has asked you to collaborate on a song with her and that's how you two met. you quickly fell for eachother, being inseparable ever since.- "they deserve the truth."
billie agreed with you. "yeah, we can announce us soon. I think we'll be okay."
your face lit up, making billies heart beat slightly faster. "really?!"
"yes, mama." you smiled, peppering kisses all over her face. "I was planning on leaking a clip from one of the songs. I'll leak the one about you to prepare everyone. they can have their suspicions for a while."
"I like that idea." you kissed her neck before laying back down on the bed.
you decided to leave not long after. you had your own music to work on, aswell. you shut and locked her front door before walking out to your car. you had just took her shirt with you, not bothering to take it off before you left. you started your car and sped home.
when you got home, you had finally realized the serious mistake you made. you sat on your couch and opened instagram to discover the paparazzi photos from not even an hour ago. you panicked, wondering how they got those photos up that fast.
you stared at yourself in the post. there you were, standing on billies porch in her clothes. the caption read, 'Y/n coming out of billies house in billies clothes?! 😯' you cringed at the text.
you rolled your eyes as you screenshotted it and sent it to billie. she read the message almost immediately and began typing.
bil ❤️: nah
you: should we be worried?
bil ❤️: people can think whatever they want idrc
bil ❤️: and yk I plan to reveal us soon sooo..
you: yeah you're right
bil ❤️: just adding to the suspense baby ;))
and that's what you went with. everyone began reposting the photo of the two of you. it made you anxious. over the next week or so, the hype began to die down.
you and billie snuck out late on a warm Tuesday night and went to dinner.
it was a small, family owned restaurant about 20 minutes away from all of the drama of downtown. it was the safest place you and billie knew.
a small lady immediately seated you and bil. billie relaxed into the chair across from you. "so," she began.
"so?" you asked, intrigued by how she was starting her statement. you impatiently tapped your finger on the glass of water in front of you.
"I want you to be with me whenever I leak the song, and I wanna do it tonight." her leg shook.
the lady came back over to take our orders, interrupting the conversation unknowingly. the two of you hurriedly ordered your food.
"are you asking me to stay the night?" you smiled teasingly.
"well, obviously I am, ma. fuck, I want you to stay over every night." she grinned back.
"I would if I could," I leaned across the table and pecked her lips. "you know that."
she hummed. "maybe we should make that a reality as soon as all of this bullshit is over."
you giggled, watching as she fidgeted with your hand that was laying on the table. "I'd love that."
"then it's a plan."
-
billie laid next to you in her plush bed. you watched her phone carefully as she prepared the clip from her song 'Lunch.' Billie didn't want to leak too much, of course.
you became more anxious by the second, and watching billie work didn't help at all. you opened Twitter to distract yourself. a post you had been tagged in caught your eye. it stated: 'has anyone noticed @y/n.l/n is liking a bunch of posts about her and @billieeilish???!!??! is it just me?!?!'
you soon realized Twitter wouldn't help, either. you gave up, cuddling up closer to billie and going back to watching what she was doing on her phone.
a moment later, she sighed. "okay, you ready?" I could feel anxiety bubbling under her skin. of course, it wasn't the actual announcement, but that didn't mean you weren't slightly terrified. you nodded. "it's posted."
-
two weeks had passed, and the internet was buzzing with speculations. billie gave you permission to tease the announcement, aswell. you and her both wanted as much suspense as possible. you reposted a few edits as well as selfie of you with a song of billies playing in the background.
the day billie wanted to announce your relationship, she woke you up early and took to go get coffee. sitting in the parking lot of Starbucks, billie pulled up her favorite photo of the two of you together.
you watched, anxiously sipping your coffee as she moved the photo to instagram. it was an old photo, it must've been at least 3 years old. she still had her blonde hair and yours was a shade of rusty red. she held your face as she kissed your cheek, while you held a bright smile on your face. she included a few other photos to make a small collage, specifically ominous photos from dates you had been on. you were in a lot of them, of course.
she gripped your hand tightly as she typed the caption with her other hand. 'the love of my life ❤️‍🩹.' it read. she posted it with no hesitation.
she moved her hand to my knee and leaned over to kiss you. "it's done. are you feeling okay?" her voice was soft and soothing, almost like a lullaby.
you smiled. "absolutely."
the comments flooded immediately. everyone was screaming their congratulations and compliments. you scrolled through the first thousand or so, and 99% of them were positive. your heart was nearly beating out of your chest. you sighed, realizing it was finally done and you could post about Billie as you wished.
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Note
Please please please smut 1 and 12 with Frank Castle!
Mission Accomplished
--genre: fluff & SMUT.
--pairing: frank castle x f!reader
--word count: 2.7k
--warnings: kissing, mentions of violence, mentions of alcohol, oral (f receiving), PinV, unprotected sex (NOO), creampie, so much sexual tension, fluff, friends to lovers, semi-public sex.
thank you for the request! enjoy<3
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--gif credits: @bernthalized
You’ve been known to draw people in. Whether that be because of your personality, or something magical about you, people were always attracted to you, both romantically and platonically. 
Frank was hard to crack, but still, he quickly became someone you considered to be one of your close friends. You’ve seen him an inch away from death’s grasp, and even with his consistent rejections of help, he finally let you in. You became someone he could rely on, often with his injuries. 
At first, there was little to no talking while you patched him up. The occasional grunts and groans came from him while you asked him if he wanted water every so often. As the late nights continued, Frank began to talk. Sure, one-word responses weren’t much, but it was something. And as much as Frank wanted to deny it, he quickly realized why people were drawn to you. 
Your friendship remained very exclusive for a while, only seeing each other when Frank was injured or for emergencies, but that became hard when you started to see him in a different light. For as long as you wanted to keep it buried, your feelings for Frank grew with each time you saw him. You had to push your feelings aside, for him. 
***
The exhaustion of the day was evident, it was written all over your face. Locking the door behind you, you immediately kick off your shoes, set your things down on the counter, and sink into the couch; not bothering to turn on the lights. Maybe if you weren’t so tired you were able to notice Frank’s presence behind you, “Hey.”
Your once lounged state was now replaced by an alert one, sitting up straight you whipped your head around to find Frank standing behind the couch, looking directly at you. Walking towards the light switches, you catch your breath before speaking, “I know you’re not a big fan of your phone, but Jesus Christ Frank. Could you not just lurk in the shadows next time you decide to surprise me?” 
With the light on you scan over his broad frame, scanning for any injuries. He walks towards you, the look on his face not the stoic one you’re used to seeing, “I know, I know, but I need to ask you to do something for me. It’s gonna be dangerous, and it’s gonna be risky, but you know I trust you with this type of stuff.”
“Frank, just tell me,” you cross your arms, the suspense killing you. 
He sighs, “I’m going to a big tech gala tomorrow to retrieve some information on a ghost, and I need a plus one. Figured I thought it would be less suspicious if I brought you instead of going by myself.” 
And after discussing the fine details, you agreed. Frank was surprised that you even considered, let alone say yes, but he knew you would do anything for your friends, even putting yourself in potential danger.
***
Slipping on your heels, you hear a knock at the door. Walking over and opening the door you see Frank in a clean black suit, you can’t help but scan your eyes up and down his figure. Little did you know, Frank was doing the same thing to you. While you were still speechless, Frank snapped out of his trance, feeling slightly guilty, he asked, “You ready to go?”
“Yeah,” clearing your throat, “let’s go!”
The car ride was mostly silent, you weren’t nervous until right now, and Frank could tell. Your hands were fidgeting with the fabric of your dress when he reached down to hold one and give it a tight squeeze. Looking up at him, he responds, “I’m gonna make sure nothing will happen to you tonight, I promise you.” 
You squeeze his hand back and nod, taking a deep breath. 
It didn’t take long until you drove right up to the gala’s steps, still holding onto Frank’s hand, and only letting go to step out of the car. As Frank handed the keys to the valet, your body was immediately searching for him again. The simple touch in the car made you yearn for more. In an instant he was at your side again, extending his arm to hold as you walked towards the front door. 
You knew he was only doing this for show, but some of you hoped it was real. 
As the front doors opened, you were greeted by a prestigious sight. The walls were lined with the company’s accomplishments while the guests were mingling either on the dance floor or at the tables with drinks in hand. No one pays the two of you any mind as you make your way to the party, everyone is either too dialed into conversation, or drunk to notice. 
As servers walk around with trays of champagne, Frank swiftly grabs two and hands one to you. Your eyes crinkle in confusion, “Aren’t we supposed to be working?” 
Frank takes a sip, savoring the taste, “I’m supposed to be working. Don’t worry, it’ll help your nerves, sweetheart.”
Bringing up the flute to your lips, you try to hide the obvious flustered look on your face, your cheeks suddenly warm. Sweetheart. 
After finishing his drink, he turns to you, “I’m gonna go look around. I’ll be right back.”
You nod your head, and suddenly the worry is back. This wasn’t some silly fantasy, you were here because of Frank and whatever information he needed. This was all a front, whatever was going on between you and him isn’t real.  
You must have zoned out while Frank was gone because he was back in what felt like a few minutes, “Did you find what you were looking for?” 
Frank doesn’t respond, only shakes his head once. Whatever happened while he was away was clearly not in his favor, and even you could tell. Placing your glass on a table near you, you grab his hand, your touch causing him to flinch away for a moment before he allows you in. You look back up at him, “Let’s dance.”
It takes him a second before he agrees, the silence making you anxious, but soon enough he follows. The music is slow, and couples around you sway back and forth in a delicate rhythm. Frank comfortably places both hands on your hips as you place yours on the back of his neck, the sudden closeness making your head spin. 
You apparently don’t hide your emotions well as Frank speaks softly into your ear, “What are you thinking about?”
There he goes with that nickname again, and maybe it’s the champagne, but you have some strong feelings that need to escape, “I’m just thinking about how every time you call me ‘sweetheart’, I can’t help but think about it for a while.”
“Oh really? What happens when you think about it?” You hide your face into his chest, too embarrassed to answer. “You’ve never been shy, don’t start now.”
Pulling away, you look up at him through hooded eyes, “I can’t tell you in public Frank, it’s too crowded in here.”
“Then let’s go somewhere private. Keeping thoughts inside your head is bad for you, you know.”
Frank leads you off the dancefloor quickly and to a hallway near the entrance, the people around looking at the two of you confused. You giggle as he continues to walk towards a door. Opening the door for you, Frank has led you into an office of some sort. A grand desk was placed in the middle of the room, surrounded by bookshelves, and of course a chair. You’re still looking around the room when Frank’s voice echoes through the space, “So, what were you going to tell me, sweetheart?”
You’re tired of his teasing, walking up to him by the door, you smash your lips onto his, quietly locking the door behind him. His hands, once again, find his way to you, but this time to the supple flesh of your ass. 
Walking forward, Frank guides you back until your legs hit the wood of the desk, causing you to sit. And then all of a sudden, you realize what you’re doing. You pull away from his lips, “Frank…what are we doing? You–You’re my friend, fuck what am I doing?”
“Hey, shh–,”
You cut him off, “Friends don’t do this kind of shit, Frank!”
You’re still sitting on the desk when his hand comes up to hold your face, “You’ll always be my friend, always. But you’ll always be something else, and it’s not just a friend.”
There’s nothing but relief in your body when he leans back down to kiss you again, a weight feels like it’s been lifted off your shoulders. You grasp the back of his neck, pulling him in to deepen your kiss. 
Taking his other hand, he reaches down to your dress, bunching the fabric in his hands as he reveals more and more of your skin. As soon as he reveals your thigh, he releases the fabric to pool just above your knee. You whine into his mouth, disappointment, craving his touch once again. 
He releases your lips, not fully pulling away. He hovers over you, before he mutters, “Nuh-uh, you’re gonna be patient, or I’ll make you wait till we get back to your place. Yeah?”
You nod, slightly lifting your head higher in an attempt to kiss him, your eyes locked onto his lips. He lifts his head higher this time, “I need you to say it, baby. Say you got it.”
You finally look into his eyes before speaking, “I got it.”
In an instant, he kneels to the floor, gliding his hand along your thigh, his touch leaving goosebumps in its wake. You knew exactly where he was going as you spread your legs for him, giving him easier access to where you really needed his touch. As soon as he is met with the delicate material of your panties, he groans, the fabric soaking wet. “You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that?”
You giggle in response, another groan leaving his lips. It seems like his patience was testing him too as he wastes no time pulling your panties to the side to rub his fingers up and down your slit. The sudden stimulation makes you throw your head back in pleasure. 
After a few swipes back and forth, he kisses your thigh, causing you to look down at him, “You’re so wet for me, fuck…you think you’re ready for me?”
You’re breathless as you respond, “Yes! Yes, I’m ready. Please.”
“God, you’re so beautiful,” he marvels, “but, I think you can be wetter than this, baby.”
You’re about to object when he pulls your dress up higher until you’re fully exposed. “I can make you wetter,” he hooks his fingers around your panties, pulling them down, “will you let me make you wetter?”
“Frank, please–please.”
Frank lifts your legs to rest on his shoulders, causing you to lean back on your elbows as he wraps his arms around your thighs. The cold air fluttering over your core sends a shiver down your back, but Frank’s mouth quickly remedies the cooling sensation, causing you to gasp. 
His tongue quickly found its way to your clit, giving it a few delicate licks before he sucks on it. You can’t help but reach down to his hair, tugging and pulling on the dark strands. And suddenly your head was spinning, and the feeling of his mouth on you started to feel too good, “I’m gonna cum…oh god.”
With the sound of your whines, he pulls away, causing you to look at him with confused and slightly angry eyes. He rises from his knees and starts to undo his dress pants, pulling at the belt with one hand, “What did I say about being patient?” 
Sighing for what felt like the millionth time tonight, you don’t object, not wanting to prolong this feeling of being on the edge. 
Once Frank was finished with his belt, he unbuttons his pants, pulls down his zipper, and wastes no time pulling everything off, revealing his cock. Holy shit. He was hard, and there was no doubt he was thick. You look at his cock for a while before you look back at him in disbelief, “Now I know why you needed me wetter…Jesus, Frank.”
He chuckles, “You gonna keep looking at my cock, or are you gonna let me fuck you with it, (Y/N)?”
His choice of words shock you into silence, only three words escaping your lips, “Fuck me, please.”
You pull your legs into your chest, giving Frank easier access. Rubbing his tip up and down your folds, he groans before pushing into you. He’s slow with his movements, easing you into the new feeling. You both let out a collective breathy sigh when he bottoms out, the stretch making your walls pulse. And of course, Frank feels it all, “You’re fucking swallowing me, taking me so well–-shit.” 
You can’t bear to hold yourself up anymore, opting to lay on the desk when he starts to pump faster. Frank is hitting that sweet spot in you, and you cannot get enough of it. Delicate moans are heard from you, but they quickly build up until the sound of your pleasure reverberates off the office walls. 
Softly placing a hand over your mouth, he mutters, “Shh, there are people in the other room, and they can probably hear every single sound coming out of your pretty mouth.” You’re too far gone in pleasure to care, or to quip back a witty response. You just lay there and take his cock, and he’s hitting all the right spots. Frank can feel you tense around him. He knows exactly how you’re feeling. “I know you’re gonna cum,” he releases the hold on your mouth to pull down the fabric covering your breasts, giving your hard nipples a pinch, “do it for me. Let everyone out there know how good I’m making you feel.”
You cum, and you cum hard, for him. Your senses are flooded by ecstasy, the feeling making you shake. You can feel Frank still pumping into you as you cum, helping you ride it out. In your hazy state, you are suddenly aware of Frank’s grip on your hips when you look up at him. He’s so close. With your core still fluttering around him from your orgasm, it doesn’t take long for him to pump you full of his load. The feeling of him painting your walls makes you moan again. 
Frank takes a breath before he pulls out of you, looking at the mixture of both your arousal spilling out of your swollen pussy. You’re adjusting your dress when he looks back up at you, taking a mental picture of your current state when he pulls his pants back up. He sees you wince as you slowly sit up, a flood of worry washes over his face,  as he places a hand behind your back,  “Hey, you okay?”
“I’m all good,” you stretch out your neck, “who knew laying on a hard desk would hurt your back? Not me, that’s for sure.”
He smiles before planting his lips on yours; but this time it wasn’t lustful, it was caring, it was soft. You can’t help but bring both hands up to his face, gently holding him. As you pull away, you suddenly realize why you were here in the first place, “Wait! What about the information you needed?” He keeps his gaze on you as he reaches into his suit pocket, pulling out a small thumb drive. Your eyes light up in amusement before giggling, “You’re pretty good, but what was with that pouty attitude earlier? Hm?”
“Just needed to be close to you,” he answers nonchalantly.
You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in again, “Like this?”
He nods, “Just like this, baby.”
Your cheeks were warm, admiring every feature on his face, you could see him better when you’re this close, “Let’s go home. I’m pretty sure everyone in a 50-foot radius heard me, and now I’m embarrassed.”
“Alright,” he gives you one more glance up and down your figure, smoothing out a wrinkle in the gown, “let’s go.”
“Mission accomplished?”
“Mission accomplished, sweetheart.”
--author's note: GUYS!!! first frank castle fic, we are so up right now. i've been waiting to craft this up because he's so delicious and so tortured, i need him so bad. THANK YOU anon!!! this request is picture perfect! MY 200 FOLLOWER CELEBRATION IS STILL GOING ON, so send me a request if you love me (im jk...no i'm not). don't forget to like, comment, and reblog if you enjoyed! okay, bye ily<3333
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1956 Oldsmobile Golden Rocket
Bullet on Wheels: The 1956 Oldsmobile Golden Rocket
Easily one of the wildest General Motors dream cars of the Motorama era, the Olds Golden Rocket was the epitome of Jet Age design. Let’s take a closer look. 
Throughout the 1950s, Harley Earl and his forward-looking crew at the GM styling studios frequently turned to aircraft and space travel for their inspiration. There might be no better example of the automaker’s guided-missile design theme than the far-out Golden Rocket, Oldsmobile’s Motorama dream car for 1956. “The Supersonic Age comes to automobile styling!” the company proclaimed.
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1956 Oldsmobile Golden Rocket
Constructed in fiberglass on a shortened Oldsmobile passenger car perimeter frame with a 105-inch wheelbase, the Golden Rocket was essentially a bullet on wheels in side view (above.) But under the skin, the show car was fairly conventional with a 324 CID, 275-horsepower Olds Rocket V8 up front, Hydra-Matic automatic transmission, and leaf-spring rear suspension. The custom wheels employed integral brake drums, and a pair of fuel tanks were housed in the rear fenders. Note the “dotted-line” segmented whitewalls, a novel feature that never went any further.
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1956 Oldsmobile Golden Rocket
At a little more than 200 inches long but less than 50 inches tall, the Rocket sported an impressively low silhouette, which required some ingenuity in the packaging of the two-seat cabin. For easier entry and egress, a roof panel popped up when the door was opened on either side, while the steering wheel rim swung upward and the bucket seats rose three inches and pivoted on their mountings. Upholstery was blue and gold leather, while the speedometer was housed in the steering wheel hub. The lap belts and driver pedals display a strong aircraft influence.
While the Rocket seems to be one of the more obscure GM dream cars in current times, it did include some ideas that turned up later on the General’s production models. The stubby rocket-type tailfins would adorn some memorable Cadillacs of the early ’60s, while the split-window teardrop rear window is extremely familiar. It was next tried on a dead-ended 1958 Corvette styling proposal, then famously appeared on the 1963 Corvette Sting Ray coupe. As with a number of GM Motorama dream cars, the fate of the Golden Rocket was not officially documented, reportedly, but it hasn’t been seen or heard from in years and is presumed destroyed.
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1956 Oldsmobile Golden Rocket
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iiwaijime · 1 month
Text
06. meet me at the 7-11
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"y/n?"
he sends the text before thinking it through, and by the time he realises that it was probably a mistake — he's basically told her everything about herself — the tiny delivered under his message has turned into seen.
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you see him before he sees you. you wrap your jacket tighter around yourself, walking towards him. you walk faster, until you can see the mist of his breaths, and the wire of his headphones, illuminated by neon light — a beacon in the darkness, beckoning you home.
"suna," you call. "rin."
he turns around, face lighting up when your eyes meet. "hey."
"hi." you laugh awkwardly as he comes closer to you, and a heavy silence falls over the scene.
"let's go inside, i'll buy you something."
"no, you won't," you reply.
"yes i will," he argues.
"no you won't."
he hums in reply, flexing his cold fingers before pushing the door open for you. "don't you want to know how i found out you were catliker?"
"oh, yeah, how?"
he only talks again when the two of you reach the drinks aisle. "i saw your texts. on the TV. well, my texts, but you get the idea."
oh. oh. your fingers brush together when he passes you your drink, the cap already unscrewed. "thanks," you murmur, staring into your bottle.
rintarou isn't the type to start serious conversations. however, he also despises suspense. not that this can be called suspense, exactly, but he needs the confirmation — he needs to know. "we're avoiding the most important part of this."
"i know," you respond. and then: "i like you, like a lot."
"i gathered," he replies quietly. "let's go outside?"
just like in the car, your knees are touching — this time, though, it's much more obvious that he's chosen to sit this close to you. his shoulder nudges yours every time he moves, and the motions of your leg as you tap your foot nervously make his leg shake too, but the intimacy of the situation is surprisingly comfortable. he drains his bottle, chucking it into the trashcan on the other side of the parking lot with practiced ease, before doing the same with yours. and then he turns to you.
"i never really imagined telling you that i liked you, so i didn't really have an image of what'd happen in my brain. i didn't expect it to be in the parking lot of a 7-11, either, but here we are." he snickers mirthlessly; more from nerves than humour. "i've liked you a while now — a few years — and you're just perfect in every way, inside and out, and i really like you — fuck, did i say that already? either way, this is it, y/n."
silence.
"oh, and i don't like anyone else, and i did look at you so many times earlier today — or yesterday night, whatever — you just didn't see."
you laugh, and it's beautiful and wonderful and perfect and he might just die. you cover your mouth with one hand. "really? i thought you didn't like me."
"what? you looked absolutely gorgeous, i thought i mentioned it over text already."
"oh, you did!"
he half reaches out to you before he stops himself. "why do you do that?"
"do what?"
"cover your mouth. i mean, if you keep at it, you— never mind."
"i think it's kind of obvious why," you respond lightly. "but finish your sentence?"
"it's nothing that important," he confesses. "i just want to kiss you really badly right now."
"really?"
"yeah, and i can't do it if your hands are in front of your face."
"so if i move them, will you...?"
"only if you're okay with kissing me in a shitty 7-11 parking lot."
"i am," you assure him.
he angles your head up gently, leaning closer until his breath ghosts over your lips. "may i?"
"yes, please," you whisper, and rintarou suna carefully, carefully presses his lips to yours.
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storm-angel989 · 4 months
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Drugs 'n Memories (Valentino x Reader x Vox's Daughter)
Valentino’s limo pulled up outside the run down house. Flashes of his own teenagerhood raced through his mind. Part of him couldn’t blame his niece for wanting to have a little fun, to let off steam- especially when she had just aced her final exams last week. But as he and her father monitored the cameras that kept a watchful eye over every inch of the Pride ring, as well as the vitals on her tracker, their concern level grew. Anger pulsed through both of them as they watched a much older demon slip something into reader's cup. Valentino recognized the drug instantly. Nothing that would kill her, but it would definitely multiply the effects of the alcohol she was currently consuming. 
Vox’s reaction was instantaneous. On his feet, slamming the keyboard, his typical hot headed, kill them all reaction. Valentino, on the other hand, understood the scene. And more importantly, he knew how to counteract the drugs that were now rushing through her veins. 
“I’ll handle it, amicito,” he replied coolly. “You stay here and monitor the situation. I’ll bring her home. After all, she’s my niñita as well.” 
And so as he stepped out of the limo, the familiar spring to summer scent engulfed him. He smiled to himself as memories of his own teenagerhood remerged. Memory lane wasn’t a path he often allowed himself to venture down- he much preferred his life in hell to his life as a human. But still, there were some parts of his humanity that bubbled up from time to time, memories he couldn’t simply erase. 
Unlike his sweet niece, the younger Valentino, couldn’t have given less of a shit about grades. Not that he wasn’t intelligent, but brilliance isn’t defined solely on what happens in the classroom, and at seventeen, Valentino had bigger things to handle. Fucking, fighting, drugs- those were the three things he focused on. And rightly so, because when broken down, those three things translated into pleasure, protection and money. 
It was about this same time- the end of the school year, post exams. Excitement buzzed in the air as most looked forward to summer break, time on the beach. Valentino, on the other hand, had business to attend to. No matter the season, he was always incredibly busy, a master at the art of supply and demand. So when one of his competitors approached him in the hallway, there was no hesitation. His girlfriend at the time, his sweet reader, jumped in front of him and before Valenitno could react, his competitors first met reader’s face. 
Her reaction wasn’t expected. To every inch of Valentino’s bad boy reputation, reader was anything but. Straight A student, head of the student council, on the fast track to a law degree. And perhaps most importantly, had just earned herself her black belt. 
The hallway filled with deafening silence. Valentino smirked and crossed his arms, more than content to watch. He knew what was coming. In one swift move, he watched Reader take down his competitor, leaving him nothing but a moaning and crying pathetic excuse for a human being. 
Being hauled to the principal's office, no cameras to be had, it was Reader’s word against his competitors. Valentino listened as Reader vehemently denied Valentino’s involvement. And of course, the powers that be would believe her against him- she wasn’t exactly the type to be in trouble, while both Valentino and the other boy had suspension sheets a mile long.  Not that being suspended, or even expelled would honestly matter to him, but there was something sexy about watching his latest fuck defend him vehemently. Later on that night, in the backseat of his car, he made sure to show her just how much he appreciated her defense. 
Their relationship lasted the rest of the school year, and when he returned in the fall, she had been accepted to university a year early. Valentino never saw her again- not that he expected to. Nor did he care all that much. It was a long time after all. Besides, the little slut probably ended up in heaven. As he walked up the pathway to the house, he pushed back those thoughts, those memories. The past was in the past, and he needed to focus on the situation at hand. 
He swung open the door and watched the teenagers scatter like roaches. He made his way through the house as though he owned it, glancing every so often at the tracker to ensure his niece's location. Around him, teenage demons began to whisper as they scurried out of his way. 
Oh shit, is that Val?
What is Valentino doing here? 
I heard he’s related to someone here.
Maybe he’s here to scout?
Wait, isn’t Vox’s daughter here? 
You think that’s her uncle? 
He enjoyed their fear. Relished in it, actually. Perhaps if they made the connection between her and exactly what family she came from, they would think twice before pulling her into events like these. 
“Uncle Val?” His niece's voice squeaked from across the living room. She stared at him in shell shocked, deer in the headlights eyes. “What are you doing here?” 
“It’s time to go home now, niñita,” he said evenly as he strode up to her, plucked the red solo cup from her hand and casually tossed its contents over the demon who spiked it. “Come, before those drugs in your tummy hit.”
She looked at him in anger and he saw, not for the first time, a flash of himself in her defiance. How funny it was that although she wasn’t his biologically, she had streaks of him built into her personality as though she was. 
“Uncle Valentino, I am staying here with my friends and there is nothing you can do about it,” she put her hands on her hips and glared. “And for your information, I’m not doing drugs, it's just a little vodka.”
“You forgot the cardinal rule of going out, bebita princessa. Always watch your cup,” he replied calmly as he lifted her up and tossed her over his shoulder with ease. “I’ve already had a long day, do us both a favor and don’t make it longer.”
The usual grumbles, the screams, the cries and the I hate yous spewed from her mouth. But no one dared to interfere. They knew the consequences if they stepped between Valentino and his family. He brought her inside the limo and checked his watch. 
Three…two…
“Uncle Val, I don’t feel so good.”
Her head rolled to his shoulders and he laid her down on his lap. His timing was impeccable, right down to the exact second. 
“I know. And you’re not going to. Shit’s gotta work its way out of your system.” He said as he rolled her to her side and twisted open a bottle of water as he pressed two black capsules to her lips. “Swallow these. Drink this. It won’t make the feeling go away, but it will absorb whatever’s left in your belly.”
She shakily obeyed and he gently held her steady as the limo brought them closer to home. 
“Puke if you’ve got to, wouldn’t be the first time you got sick on me,” he said lightly as he held a plastic bag just below her mouth. “Better to get it all out than hold it in.”
She let out a groan. “Uncle Val? Did you ever…get into trouble when you were a kid?” she asked. 
He chuckled and looked down at her. “Trouble? That’s hardly the word for it, bebita.”
She was quiet for a moment and he gently tucked back a stray strand of hair. 
“Is Daddy gonna be mad?”
Valentino shook his head. “I think you Dad is just going to be happy I got to you in time. You need to be more careful, ninita. Especially if you’re going to misbehave so far out of town.” He stroked her back as he spoke. “Rape happens. It could have happened to you tonight, and you’re lucky- very lucky, I happened to be in the area and could get to you in time. Otherwise…” He paused and looked down at her, “I don’t want to ever see you in that situation, conejito. It would never be your fault, but you must be cautious. Not everyone is the kind soul you are.” He adjusted her ever so slightly. “Close your eyes. It’s going to be awhile before we make it home.” 
“Uncle Val?”
“Yes, cariño?” 
“Thanks for looking out for me. I’m sorry I yelled.”
He sighed, “bebita, I’m just glad you're safe. Save the apologies for your dad.”
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aylacavebear · 10 days
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Soulmates? Yeah, right, pft. - Ch. 14
When you turn sixteen, and your soulmate's name doesn’t appear anywhere on your body that you can find, you figure you had to be the only person on the planet who didn’t have one. Most of the town shuns you, so you stick close to family. Your Aunt Ellen raised you after your parents died in a car crash when you were two, but what happens when the Winchesters return to town and buried secrets begin to come to light?
Pairing: Mechanic Dean Winchester x OC Reader/You
Word Count: 2214
Warnings: Angst, suspense, emotional situations, Crowley being Crowley.
A/N: This is my non-Supernatural fic I'm attempting. Please let me know what you think, as I always love hearing from my readers.
----------------------------------------- Chapter 14
When the SUVs pulled up to what looked like a heavily guarded wrought iron gate, attached to a thick brick or concrete wall, your heart almost felt like it would beat out of your chest. Dean at least still had his arm over your shoulders, holding you close, but your eyes were focused on the things outside. Outside the gates, all you could make out were the tall hedges and trees that had grown past the top of the wall, which you assumed encompassed the property. There were a few different types of vines, but they looked as though they’d been repeatedly cut back.
You wanted to ask where they’d taken you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak at the moment, even after what the judge had said. As the gates began to open, you felt like you were almost holding your breath. The driveway was neatly kept, winding its way through a pedicured landscape of trees, hedges, and flower beds. The mansion of a house where the SUVs stopped took your breath away. It was the most elegant and extravagant home you’d ever seen in person. The agent next to Benny opened the door, stepped out, and then held the door for the three of you. You swore your jaw had hit the pavement as you stepped out, staring up at the mansion before you when that Scottish accent pulled your gaze to the man coming down the steps.
“Oh good, you made it without incident,” Crowley stated, seeming quite pleased.
“What’s going on?” you asked, relieved it was Crowley and not someone from the Vaught family.
“I’ve made arrangements for you to stay here during the course of your case,” he explained. “One of my men will be back with your belongings, and theirs as well. Now, shall we get some brunch?”
You were still fairly confused, but you followed Crowley into his mansion, Dean by your side and Benny bringing up the rear. The interior of Crowley’s mansion was even more impressive than the exterior. As you stepped inside, your eyes were immediately drawn to the high ceilings adorned with intricate moldings and chandeliers that looked like they belonged in a palace. The walls were lined with dark wood paneling and elegant wallpaper, giving the space a sophisticated yet intimidating ambiance.
You walked through a grand foyer with a sweeping staircase that curved up to the second floor. The marble floors gleamed underfoot, and you could see various pieces of antique furniture and art tastefully arranged throughout the space. It was a stark contrast to the cold, sterile environment of the courtroom.
Crowley led the way down a long hallway, the rich scent of polished wood and old books filling the air. You passed several rooms, each one more opulent than the last, until you reached a set of double doors. Crowley pushed them open to reveal a lavish dining room.
The dining room was dominated by a long, mahogany table that could easily seat twenty people. The table was already set for a smaller group, with fine china, crystal glasses, and silver cutlery laid out meticulously. The walls were lined with tall bookshelves filled with leather-bound volumes, and several large windows allowed natural light to pour in, illuminating the room in a warm glow.
A chef and a few servants were bustling around, preparing the final touches for the meal. The aroma of bacon, cooking meat, and something that was perhaps a fine fish dish wafted through the air, making your stomach rumble in anticipation.
“Please, have a seat,” Crowley gestured to the chairs, taking his place at the head of the table. Dean guided you to a seat beside him, and Benny sat across from you, giving you a reassuring nod.
As you settled into the plush chair, Crowley smiled and spoke to the servants, “Begin serving, please.”
The servants moved with practiced efficiency, bringing out a covered plate for each of you, while others had platters with delectable deserts displayed on them. The aromas only made your mouth water further. Another servant set a chilled, open beer on a coaster near your, Dean’s, and even Benny’s plate while another poured Crowley a glass of what looked like fine wine.
Crowley dismissed the servant as he looked at you, his expression more serious now. “You must have many questions,” he said, taking a sip. “Feel free to ask anything you need to understand.”
You wanted to answer him, but the servants set a dish down in front of the three of you, revealing what had smelled so good. Yours and Dean’s contained the most delicious-looking burger you’d ever seen, while Benny got something that was clearly something he hadn’t had in a long time. You were just too focused on your burger at the moment to even ask what it was.
“Figured you lot would prefer something simple,” Crowley told you, seeing you focused on the meal and not his prior statement.
“I’m sorry,” you apologized, looking over at him as Dean squeezed your knee in a reassuring way. “Why are you doing this for us?” you asked finally.
Crowley’s eyes met yours, and for a moment, you saw a flicker of something softer behind his usual confident exterior. “Let’s just say, I have a vested interest in seeing justice served. The Vaughts have been playing games for too long, and it’s about time someone put a stop to it.” Dean leaned in slightly, his voice low. “We appreciate your help, Crowley. But what’s the catch?”
Crowley chuckled, setting his glass down. “No catch, Dean. Just a mutual benefit. You get the support you need for this case, and I get the satisfaction of seeing the Vaughts lose for once.” Benny spoke up, his tone serious. “We’ll do whatever it takes to win this. They’ve messed with the wrong people.” Crowley nodded approvingly. “That’s the spirit, Benny. Now, let’s eat. You’re going to need your strength for what lies ahead.” As the meal progressed, you found yourself relaxing slightly, the initial shock of Crowley’s opulent home giving way to a sense of determination. You had allies in the fight, and together, you were going to bring the Vaughts to justice.
Halfway through the meal, the double doors opened, instantly pulling your attention to what looked like a butler. “They’re here, Sir,” he told Crowley.
“Ah, wonderful,” Crowley replied, delighted as a smile played at his lips. “Show them in.”
The butler nodded, and a few moments later, Sam, Ellen, Jodi, Bobby, Mary, and John came into the dining hall. You instantly stood as Ellen made her way to you, tears in both your eyes as you embraced her in a tight hug.
“Oh, honey,” she told you softly, and you heard the sadness and relief in her tone.
“I’m okay, Auntie,” you replied quietly.
Ellen held you at arm’s length, her eyes scanning your face as if reassuring herself that you were truly alright. “We’ve been worried sick about you,” she said, her voice trembling slightly.
Dean, Sam, and even Benny embraced in hugs before Dean hugged John and Mary. Even Jodi and Bobby hugged the boys, then came over to you, giving you a soft, but relieved smile, embracing you in a hug. 
“We’re here for ya, kid,” John told you with the softest expression you’d ever seen on the man.
Crowley, ever the consummate host, gestured to the empty seats. “Please, join us. There’s plenty of food, and we’ve much to discuss.” As everyone settled around the table, the atmosphere shifted slightly. There was a sense of camaraderie, of a team coming together to face a common enemy. You wished that Jo could be there, as she was more like a sister to you than a cousin. And, oddly enough, even Cas and Garth. Just as you were finally feeling like you were relaxing, your mark began burning, horribly, a pained hiss leaving your lips just as Dean was getting out of his seat.
Crowley snapped his fingers a couple of times while you put your hand over your mark, missing whatever was being said. Moments later, though, Dean was putting cream on your mark. “It’s okay, I’m right here,” he attempted to soothe you as the entire room had gone silent.
“Well, now, this changes things,” Crowley mused from where he sat, leaning back in his chair. “Why wasn’t I informed about that?”
“About what?” you asked, only wincing slightly as you looked at him.
“With that,” he began, gesturing to your mark, “we’ve got a little more leverage.”
You tried to look down at your mark, but with where it was, you couldn’t see it. Frustrated, you looked back at him, “What are you talking about?”
He practically laughed, “Dean, you haven’t told her?” 
All Dean did was glare at him and the others stayed silent, which only annoyed you further. “Tell me what?” you snapped, clenching your hands in your lap.
“I was waiting,” Dean managed through a clenched jaw, clearly annoyed.
“Will someone tell me what the hell you’re talking about? I’m tired of this, of all of you keeping secrets from me,” you snapped at them, looking around the table as your anger finally boiled over. When no one spoke up, you just got up and walked off, practically slamming the dining hall doors. 
Crowley sighed and nodded to one of his servants, who promptly followed you. The servant was a young woman with kind eyes, and she caught up with you just as you were starting to feel lost in the labyrinthine halls of the mansion.
“Miss, please allow me to show you to a room where you can rest. Your bags have already been brought up,” she said softly.
Too tired to argue, you nodded and followed her. She led you up a grand staircase and down a long corridor to a beautifully furnished room. “If you need anything, just ring this bell,” she instructed, indicating a small ornate bell on the bedside table.
“Thank you,” you murmured, sitting on the edge of the bed as she left the room.
Meanwhile, back in the dining hall…
Dean, still fuming, stood up, “We agreed to tell her when her mark came in more.”
Crowley shrugged nonchalantly, although he wasn’t pleased about his secrecy, “It slipped my mind. Besides, she has a right to know.”
Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair. “This isn’t helping. How did she not notice one of the letters came in all the way?”
Dean sighed and sat back down, “She never looked in the mirror at it, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her to.”
“Son, she’s gonna be more hurt if you wait much longer,” John told him sincerely.
“Does she have at least an idea of how you’re connected to all this?” Crowley asked, although clearly frustrated, but needing further information.
“Not completely,” Dean reluctantly answered.
“Benny, did she even pay attention when Dean testified?” Sam asked, fairly puzzled how you wouldn’t have found out.
Benny sighed, “No. I was talkin’ to her. Tryin’ to help er’ relax a little.”
Crowley was usually a calm, collected man, but this frustrated him: "What does she know?”
Dean grabbed his beer, taking a sip before he answered, staring at the label, “I told her I know she’s my soul mate, part of the thing with Lisa, and that she’s an empath.”
“That’s it?” Bobby exclaimed in annoyance and frustration.
“That explains why she knows we’re hiding something,” Mary sighed, looking back at the closed dining hall doors.
“I didn’t want to make it harder on her,” Dean mumbled quietly.
“Dean, she has to be told, before her birthday, or it’s gonna hurt her more, and not just emotionally,” Sam told him, his tone soft but firm. “I know what I told you before, but she’s quickly running out of time.”
Dean’s attention went to the doors, his mind on only you and what you were feeling. He’d hated not telling, not letting himself get closer to you than you’d let him. He’d felt everything from the moment he’d seen you that first day at the bar, and it was tearing him up inside that you still doubted him. Sam had warned him of the risks of waiting too long, but he just hadn’t been able to find the right time and he didn’t want to do it once you two had gotten stuck in that bunker. “Dean, are you even listened?” Crowley asked him, frustrated and now leaning forward in his seat, pulling Dean from his thoughts.
“Yeah, I mean, no. I wasn’t listening,” he grumbled.
An annoyed sound left Crowley’s lips as he leaned back in his seat. “Her birthday is in two days. Either you tell her tomorrow, or I’ll have to make sure the doctor is here.” His tone was of concern for you more than for Dean.
Dean looked down at his beer, “She’s gonna hate me, but… I’ll tell her tomorrow.”
“Son, she’s gonna be mad at all of us, but she’s not going to hate us, especially not you,” John tried to reassure him, feeling bad for what not only his son had to go through, but also what you have had to endure.
----------------------------------------- Chapter 15
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melanieph321 · 11 days
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Ruben Dias x Reader - Not Ready Part 3/12
Part 4 and Part 5 are out on my Patreon!
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Readers sister dies in a tragic car accident, leaving reader and her boyfriend Ruben in the urgent custody of her niece and nephew. Readers life is suddenly flipped upside-down since having children hadn't been the plan for her and Ruben's life together. At least not now when his football career was reaching great new heights.
Enjoy! 💞
The course of your life altered within the laps of that one phone call and the days that followed. Liza's funeral was arranged quite quickly, mostly because your parents couldn't bare the suspense of it. They wanted it over with as soon as possible.
Ruben was with you through it all, but eventually his profession forced him away even though the last thing he wanted to do was to leave your side. However, you couldn't bare to travel back with him to Manchester when there were two people that needed you now more than ever.
"How about your toys, don't you want to bring all of your toys to grandma and grandpa's?
"No." Vale sat on the bed of his semi empty bedroom, his feet dangling off the edge. You joined him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Now listen, I know you'll like staying at grandma's, she's got a big pool remember?"
"The water is green." He muttered.
"How about the beach then? In Bournemouth they've got really nice beaches. Don't you remember from last summer?"
"I don't like the beach?" 
"Of course you do. You've always loved the beach Vale."
"Not anymore." His eyes squinted, along with his body that tilted towards you. Vale wept in your arms. Weeping for his mother that would never take him to the beach again.
"Is he ready?" 
You left your nephew sleeping in his bed and went on to join his father in the kitchen. A now quiet kitchen, where the floorboards cracked when you walked over them. "No. He's still refusing to pack his bags."
"Oh."
He was quite distant, the children's father. He had always been the quiet type and sometimes you wondered what your sister even saw in him as she was his complete opposite. Liza was adventurous and full of life. Like you. Nonetheless, her husband was grieving and understandably so. He was now a widower left with two children to care for alone. But he was clearly not capable of taking care of Emmy and Vale in a time like this and so your grandparents offered to take them in until then. Of course, in the process, the children would have to move across the country and change schools. You could only imagine how difficult that must be for them after losing one parent so drastically.
"I'll go check on Emmy." You said and stood from the table. 
"She was going to get your present."
"Huh?" You turned around to meet his blank stare. Liza's husband had spent most of the days post the funeral staring out of the kitchen window. However, in that moment he looked at you, his droughtful stare penetrating your soul. 
"I told her to wait until morning. We heard about the storm on the news, yet Liza insisted that she'd get you your gift the same day it arrived in the post office. I believe that she was frustrated that it hadn't arrived on your birthday like it should have.
"W...what was it?" You stammered. 
"The gift?" He said, face pale. "How should I know? It's probably still left at the post office since Liza never made it there."
You felt a punch in your gut. Followed by the urgent need to throw up. You did so rushing to the nearest bathroom. After washing your hands and mouth you knocked on Emmy's door, her voice barely audible.
"Come in."
You peered open the door and saw her lying on the bed, a pillow covering her face.
"Oh, sweetheart. It's going to be okay." As soon as she felt your dip in the mattress, the pillow got tossed away, and the fairly heavy child clung to you. She clung to you in a way that no other human being had clung to you before.
"I don't want to leave."
"I know, baby. I know."
She cried against your shoulder, her body trembling in your arms. 
"Why can't grandma and grandpa move here?"
"They're old people, sweetie. Moving here would be more difficult for them than if you and your brother moved there."
"But what about daddy? Why can't he come with us?"
You sighed. "Oh, baby. Your dad is very sad right now. He just needs a little time to himself."
"Well, aren't you sad too?"
"Me?" You felt a sharp jab of your heart.
"Yes, you. Aren't you also sad that my mom is gone."
"Of course I am, sweetie. Why would you—"
"Does that mean that you want to be left alone too, like daddy?"
"Erm...no baby, not necessarily. But grief is very different for—"
"Great, then we'll move in with you."
"What?"
********************************************
You couldn't just leave them. The children had refused to leave their home, but you couldn't just leave them with their father. 
Your grandparents agreed for you to take them with you to Manchester for the week, perhaps get their minds off things. The only problem is that things happened so quickly that by the time you and the children got to Ruben's apartment, their suitcases packed to the rim, you realized that you had totally forgotten to give him the heads up about the whole situation
"Y/N, you're home." He greeted you at the door with the warmest smile.
"Ruben. I—"
"Uncle Ruben!"
His eyes widened at the sight of the children, the two of them tackling him to stumble backwards into the apartment.
"I've missed you Uncle Ruben!" Emmy squeald, her arms tightening around his waist.
"Erm....I missed you too." He chuckled. "I had no idea that the two of you were—"
"I missed you even more Uncle Ruben." Said Vale who clung to Ruben's leg. "More than Emmy."
"No you didn't." She hissed at her brother.
"Yes, I did." He responded and suddenly they were going at it.
"Hey, kids, cut it out!" You shouted. They did so tilting their heads at you. "How about you take your suitcase to the guestroom and unpack. I'll be right there with you."
"Okay." 
Just like that the children made up, Emmy helped her little brother carry his suitcase towards Ruben's guestroom. It's where they usually stayed when they came to visit.
You sighed once they were out of sight and almost forgot that you had Ruben standing in front of you with a slightly expectant look.
"They refused to live with my grandparents and so I told them that I'll take the kids for a week. I should have told you and I'm sorry." You fell back two steps, surprised that your apology was awarded a bear hug from Ruben. Nevertheless, that's all he did, hug you, letting you melt into his embrace. The smell of him brought peace to your whole being and with each inhale you realized how much you had missed your boyfriend.
"It's okay, I understand." He whispered, planting a soft kiss on top of your head. "I made dinner for two but I'm sure I can whip up something for all four of us."
It was a peaceful evening, with the children enjoying a home cooked meal for the first time since the funeral. They spent the rest of the night playing with Iker. The dog was more than excited to play with two beings with the same energy levels as him. It struck you how the children's eyes had lit up again coming here to Manchester. They lit up as a fragment of hope that despite the darkness that life has put them through, light was at the end of the tunnel. You were happy to have brought them that light.
"Auntie Y/N, I can't sleep."
The first night wasn't easy, though. Vale had come knocking on your bedroom door, which was a bit stressful for Ruben who really needed his sleeping hours. Despite this, Ruben had been the one to wave Vale over, allowing him to join you in bed. He fell asleep between you and Ruben with his thumb in his mouth. And right there and then you vowed to make sure that your niece and nephew had everything they needed in life to feel safe. Everything.
Part 4 and Part 5 are out on my Patreon!
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treedaddymcpuffpuff · 4 months
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Excessive Force : Tom Ludlow x Fem Nurse Reader (COLLAB W/ THE INCREDIBLE @johnwickb1tsch) - Chapter One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen
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TW: nsfw, violence, angst
“What–”
“The fuck you think you’re doing, McCauley?” 
The cop on the stool–who is clearly drunk–turns his attention to Tom towering behind you. “Just enjoying the view, Ludz. She’s got great tits.”  
He’s clearly stupid too. 
A second passes that feels like an eternity, before Tom bursts into action, knocking the asshole off the barstool with one punch. There’s a wave of outcry through the crowd, but before anyone can do anything, Ludlow has the guy up by the collar and is marching him out of the bar. You watch through the dimmed front windows, barely able to see past the crowd, as there’s more of a scuffle between the two on the sidewalk. It doesn’t last long at all–Ludlow hits the guy like a hurricane, knocking him down flat, before stalking away back inside. 
“Sorry about that asshole,” says Tom, barely broken a sweat, though you can’t help but notice his knuckles are torn. “Are you ok?”
“I’m fine,” you sigh, reaching for his hand. “Let’s go get you patched up.” Surely he has a first aid kit in his car. 
However, he can tell something has changed. He turns your gaze up to his with a hand on your cheek, searching your eyes. “What’s wrong? What did he say to you? Swear to god, I’ll fucking kill him.”
You grab onto his arm before this high strung man can march back outside and finish the job, if the idiot has not yet cleared out. 
“He said you’re married,” you inform him, doing your own search of his soul as you drop this bomb. 
“What?” He seems genuinely confused. 
“He said I should be careful, or I’ll end up like your wife?”
Tom shakes his head with a growl. “Fucking asshole. No, I’m not married, sweetheart, I promise you.” 
“Then…?” It’s only getting louder in the bar as the night goes on, and you can barely hear each other now. It’s not the best place to have a serious conversation, and maybe he senses that you’re not going to enjoy yourself again until that conversation is had. You’re not the type to take a don’t worry about it at face value. 
Tom sighs, throws some money down on the bar and lifts you down off your stool. “Come on.”
The ease with which he manhandles you is almost more intoxicating than the vodka you’ve just consumed. 
He almost tries to carry you out of the damn bar, but you protest against that vehemently. 
You spill out onto the sidewalk, and find the asshole has indeed made himself scarce. There’s a dark stain on the concrete that might be a little splatter of blood. You decide to ignore it. 
“I’m guessing you want me to take you home?” It squeezes your heart, how disappointed he sounds, but you nod anyway. You walk back to his car in silence, only broken when you thank him softly for opening the door for you. 
He starts the Charger’s engine, the thing growling to life like a beast of the jungle. His expression matches the sound of the car, thunderous and maybe a little feral. You don’t prod him as he drives, waiting. He knows very well what you want to know. It takes the whole journey home and him parking on the street before he’s willing to open his mouth again, and even then it’s begrudgingly. 
He turns towards you in the seat, taking your little hand in his. He’s very interested in your silver rings, and you think you just might die from the suspense. 
If this man is married, you are swearing off the dumber sex forever. 
“I was married,” he finally begins. “She died of a blood clot in her brain. She was with another man, and he just dumped her on the sidewalk in front of the hospital where you work, like she was a sack of garbage. She died alone, and I’ve never been able to find out who the fucker was that treated her like that.”
You know your eyes are the size of half dollars by the time he finishes his tale. You think you might recognize this story, told by the nurses in the trauma center from a few years back. “What was her name?”
“Cheryl.” 
“Fuck. I…heard about that, from the other nurses. God, Tom, I’m so sorry.” 
At least you know he’s not lying. 
He just nods, but he won’t look at you, and it chews your heart up. Finally you reach for him, physically turning his gaze back to yours. His eyes in that moment are black pits of despair, and a part of you is sorry for ever asking, even though you had every right to know. 
“Come upstairs with me,” you say. “I’ll patch up your hand.”
He looks down at his excoriated knuckles, grins, shakes off that abused puppy dog look. You can tell he’s about as good with emotions as you are, which is going to be a match made in hell, but it doesn’t really matter right now when you want him so bad you can taste it. 
“Alright, I guess if you’re gonna force me.” 
“Nurse’s orders. Come on.”
“Bossy. I like it.” You roll your eyes, but utterly fail at suppressing a grin. You had to hand it to him. He knew how to lighten the mood from misery to humor in two seconds. You suppose that came with his occupation. Otherwise, you’d go mad.
He trails behind you, your tall shadow, letting you lead the way through the security door and up the stairs. When you let him into your tiny one bedroom apartment he smiles, looking around with the curious eyes of a detective. You're sure after five seconds he could describe the scene with 99 percent accuracy, down to the colors of the tapestry hanging above your blue couch, and how many house plants you managed to cram in the one good window in the kitchen.
“Have a seat,” you invite, waving towards the couch while you go to get your medical kit.
He perches himself on the edge of the couch, almost awkwardly. It's kind of cute, and something you don’t expect from this brutish man. 
“The couch doesn’t bite,” you tell him, setting your little first aid bag on the stand and then taking his hand rather boldly in your own. 
“Sorry, feel like I’m gonna ruin your cute place with my man smell, or something.”
You giggle, resisting the urge to tell him that if he wants to rub against everything in here like a cat in heat and leave it smelling just like him, you won’t mind it at all. 
His woodsy spice would pair nicely with your patchouli-lavender candles and sandalwood incense.
“You’ve broken your knuckles a lot,” you inform him absentmindedly while cleaning his fist. You can tell by how prominent they are, how the ones in his left hand-his dominant hand-are bigger than the ones in his right. You’d hate to be on the receiving end of this fist when he’s mad.
“Yeah?” While you dote on his hand, wrapping and cleaning, his heavy attention is fully on you, and it would make you blush and squirm if you weren’t so focused on patching him up. 
“How many fights have you been in?”
“I lost count. You?” 
You scoff. “Hey, I actually have been in one fight.” 
He gives a little whistle. “I was actually expecting that number to be higher, feisty girl.” 
“Nah.”
“Okay, so who’d you fight on the school playground?” 
You roll your eyes. “It was an ex.” You know you should learn to think before you speak, because fuck if that doesn’t open up a whole other can of worms when you watch those huge knuckles flex white while the rest of him visibly tenses.
“He beat you up?” His voice is low, quiet, it makes you want to turn the convo back around into playful territory again. 
“Yeah.” You try to smile, play off the tension. “And I hit him with a flower pot.” 
“What’s his name?” 
It’s a horrible mistake to ever make direct eye contact with Tom, but especially in this circumstance. Even though his orbs are as black as the consuming ocean, the color of anger in them is vibrant and burning. 
“It was a long time ago. Back in Kansas.”
He uses his other big hand to cup your cheek, run a calloused thumb over your bottom lip. “I’m gonna find out who he is whether you like it or not, honey.” 
A cold steel spike of adrenaline straightens your spine when you understand his implication. “Tom, he lives in Kansas.”
“That’s the problem.”
You blink at him stupidly. “What?”
“That he lives.” 
You would roll your eyes and swat his hand away and tell him to get real because you’ve heard all this shit before from other men who thought they were valiant, vengeful knights in armor. So, yeah, you would just brush him off with a scoff, but you have this feeling—and maybe it’s because of what happened at the bar or maybe it’s because of him “arresting” Julian or maybe it’s because of his terrifying tenacious persistence—that Tom will actually find him and wreck his shit. 
The idea should not turn you on. It really fucking shouldn’t. And, since his knuckles are bandaged and you need to cut some of this tension and the alcohol still buzzes pleasantly in your veins, you lean up and distract him with a little wet kiss.  
His eyes get softer for you, which is a mini power trip of its own, and he hazards a smile again. “Alright, alright. You fixed me, now I’m gonna fix you.”
You’re confused for a minute until he scoops an arm behind your knees and drapes your legs over his lap, settling back into the cushions.
The hem of your dress rides up over your thighs again, giving him a little peek of the cute, perpetually damp panties, before you can wiggle your legs shut and tug the fabric back down.
He adjusts you, asks if you’re comfortable while propping your knees on a pillow and turning sideways. 
“I’m-yeah, I'm comfy. What’re you doing, Tom?”
“I’m gonna give you that massage I promised.”
Deja Vu. Two massages in one month from a hot doctor and a cop? You feel like an absolute little whore. “Wait, Tom, you don’t have to-“
He silences you with his mouth over yours, swallows the nervous words and turns them into a sweet moan. God, this man can kiss. You’ve never considered yourself unintelligent, but his lips make you absolutely stupid. 
He untangles your hands from his hair, because apparently they ended up there somehow, sets them in your lap, and pulls away with a little trail of saliva. “Settle down,” he murmurs, guiding you back onto the throw pillows. “I’ve got you.” 
“Really, you don’t,” you try with halfhearted sincerity.
“You know,” he says, making you jump when he engulfs your right foot in his hand. “My aunt, she had a chihuahua.” 
“Yeah? Okay? Was it cute?” 
His fingers press deep into your arch, and it’s actually really pleasant. The muscles in your foot, overworked and underpaid, sing for his hands as they knead the ache out. 
You debate whether or not to tell him he’s better at this than an actual doctor who studies human anatomy, but he already looks like his ego has grown impossibly bigger throughout the night, so maybe you’ll save the praises for later when his dick is inside of your weeping, furious cunt. 
“She was. You remind me of her.”
“I remind you. Of a chihuahua?” You feel the tension in your body fade while he works. “Okay, that actually feels really fucking good.” 
“You do. Tiny, nippy, sweet once you warm up to someone. Adorable.” He knuckles your heel and you sigh in pleasure, pressing back into his hand. 
“I’m gonna pretend you’re complimenting me just because of this amazing foot rub.” 
“Well, I’ve already told you how smart and great you are, and I’ve already told you how pretty you are, so the only two things left, obviously, are either comparing you to a chihuahua or telling you how sexy you look in this dress and how hard it’s been not to rip it in half the entire night.”
You swallow your nerves and your rationality. “So, do it.” Then, you rethink, because this dress was thirty damn dollars and you like it. “Okay, maybe just take it off.” 
This is when he offers you the most infuriating smirk in the history of mankind. “Maybe when I get up there…” 
Waiting doesn't feel like a valid option, because you're pretty sure you’re on the brink of self-combustion. His hands on your feet are heaven, and he’s even moved those strong hands up to your calves, and you just wish he would keep going until he could find for himself exactly the damage he’s wreaked on your panties this whole time.
You collapse back on the arm of the couch dramatically, fighting not to squirm in the grip of your pent up desire. “Tom Ludlow,” you grouse, “I think you might be an evil man.”
“You have no idea,” he murmurs, lifts your ankle up to kiss and graze with that rough, tickling stubble, makes you giggle, then turns the laugh into a groan while his tongue travels the length of your calf, right up to the bend in your knee. 
“Fucking shit.” It’s more your cunt talking than you, now, while he nibbles and kisses supple flesh. It's such a strange spot, one that you never thought could be erogenous in any way. And he finds so many of those tender slices of you with his mouth and hands that you’re sure by the end of it—panting and teary eyed and already asking please—it’s just the proverbial Tom Ludlow effect. 
His hands move up your calves, thighs, skip the important stuff, which you curse at him for, a mean protest that he subdues by tugging your dress up and kissing your pantyline. 
“You always give massages with your mouth?”
You don’t know how it’s possible, but that smirk just gets wickeder. “You need me that bad, baby?” 
He would fucking make you tell him about it. 
Not sure who you’re more annoyed with, him or yourself, you look away, huffing under your breath.
“Oh, no pouting, beautiful, a man can only take so much.” Suddenly he has grabbed you up, dragging you across the couch so that you are laying on top of him. All this happens in the blink of an eye–you’re not proud of the girlish yip that escapes you.
It only seems to spur him on, his mouth finding yours in one of those toe-curling, brain-melting kisses. “I am trying to prove to you that I’m a nice guy, remember?”
“Hmm,” you say cheekily, feigning amnesia. He is so broad and solid beneath you, that you just might pass out. “Seems unlikely. Your kisses are very nice though.”
“Oh?” He kisses your forehead, cheeks, the bridge of your nose, makes you laugh and bury your head into his neck where he uses the new found position to kiss your hair. 
You have to chastise him a little bit when he pulls you up by your hips so his mouth can pepper kisses on your throat and shoulders, not because you don’t love being handled like that stuffed bunny you won, but more because you love it a little bit too much, and a girl could really get used to this. 
“S’wrong, thought you liked my kisses?” He licks at the hollow of your throat, presses that knife of a grin to your jugular and sucks. 
You have so much you could say, and all of it is lost in the wet, heated sin of this moment. You should be frightened of how preoccupied you are with everything that is Tom—the delicious, dark cologne, the solid weight, the burning, roaming, calloused hands—except you don’t have enough sense to be scared because he’s suckling your neck and teasing your dress higher and higher and higher until his fingertips graze the bottom of your ass and you make a pathetic sound with a bonus hip thrust just to add to the humiliation. 
He pushes open your thighs just a tiny bit. “You want me to touch you?” He asks, tickling down the crease of your butt, so fucking close to where you need him. 
“I can’t-yes. Yes. Touch me.” 
His thumbs run the tops of your inner thighs, and you press down for more, absolutely positive you’re whining like that chihuahua he mentioned earlier. 
“Here?” He asks, and the humor in his voice makes your bare toes curl against his calves. 
“Maybe here?” He tries, smoothing the pantyline that covers the very start of your puffy cunt. “Oh, you’re soaked under here, huh?” 
“Tom. Please. Fuck.” 
“I bet.” He covers the center of you completely with three fingers. “I bet I could fit right in - nice and tight and comfy.” 
You grind down onto his hand. “Yeah, yeah, do that.” 
You let out an exasperated cry when he retreats from your center, moving to trace the lacy edge of your panties on your butt cheek, slipping his fingertip just inside the seam. Even that is enough to make you writhe against him; the impressive (perhaps even intimidating) bulge in his pants beneath you is driving you equally mad.
You decide to take matters into your own shaking hands, sitting up to straddle him, reaching for his belt, the buckle jangling beneath your fingers. You’ve never met a man who could resist it, once his dick was out.
But he outmaneuvers you in that too, pushing your hands away to wrench the leather free of its loops. The resulting crack raises every little hair on your body; yet you don’t have the sense to be terribly afraid.
Either that, or…you trust this man.
“So I’ve been thinking, about you, and Dr. Bitch, and what exactly about him might have appealed to you.”
Nevermind the fact that Julian is a handsome, successful doctor…You’re smart enough not to say this aloud.
He reaches around you, securing your hands behind your back with a loop of the belt. “And I think what you want, Miss Tough Girl, is someone to take charge for you, just for a little while.” He adds another loop. “Someone you trust.” He lifts one of those perfect eyebrows, and something crucial inside you just melts. His voice softens. “Is this ok?”
He can probably tell by your body language alone—the cant of your hips, the flushing goosebumps dimpling your flesh, the little choked sounds of anticipation while he tightens his belt around your wrists—that this is more than okay, but that’s not good enough for him, so he cradles your cheek and runs his thumb over your lips while leaving one hand secured around the unfinished cinch of his belt. You reach out to kiss his fingertip, suck and taste as much as he’ll let you before he takes it away. “Is it okay, baby?”
“Yeah.” 
“Is it what you want?” You have never felt so seen in your life as in this moment, with this man’s penetrating dark eyes looking straight into your soul.
You realize you do trust Officer Tom Ludlow implicitly, not to hurt you physically, at least. You do not feel any of the uneasy trepidation you’d experienced with Dr. Julian, only a burning desire that, if not satisfied, will surely eat you alive. 
Licking your lips, trembling like a newborn fawn, you slowly nod.
“You know you’re safe with me?”
You nod again, and fuck if his wicked smile does not melt all the rest of your doubts, your inhibitions, and your sanity. He is so handsome it hurts, and you know it’s stupid, but you want to give him everything. 
He seals the deal with an expertly executed cinch of that belt, and fuck if it doesn’t echo something inside your heart falling into place for this man. 
“Good. Now come back here, I like you laying on top of me with all these luscious curves of yours.” He guides you back down on top of him, and you swear this man is going to fry some crucial wires in your brain, and turn you into a vegetable. You are doubly certain of this, when he catches your mouth with his, working you over with those plush lips in a way that absolutely makes you see stars. By the time he is done with you, he’s turned you into a quivering, needy mess on top of him, and you can tell he’s loving every minute of it.
Really, you’re easy to please after a lifetime of being touch starved and mostly void of the basic pleasures of human softness, so his everywhere hands and hungry mouth and bulky warmth are more than enough to drive you up the fucking wall, but then he adds those little coos of reassurance—the hushed repetition of “you’re safe, pretty girl”, “I got you”—and just absolutely destroys you. 
For most men the position he has you in would be a problem, but his arms are so long he can easily reach his intended prize–or grab two handfuls of it, squeezing the globes of your ass with a groan of appreciation. 
“Finally, I get some payback for the torture you put me through, having to watch you in your cute fucking scrubs but you wouldn’t let me touch you.”
“I’m sorry I wouldn’t let you feel me up at work?” There’s no real venom in your words as you fire back–how the tables have turned. 
“You’re going to be.” You can just hear the grin in his voice, and that alone is enough to make you squirm against him, burying your face in the bend of his neck. You kiss the column of his throat, sucking at his pulse; you feel the rumble of approval from deep in his chest, more than hear it. 
His big hands slide up your back, under your dress, kneading the tension and ache out and in all at the same time, and there is something maddening about this man’s touch that makes you feel uncharacteristically small, and vulnerable. When at last his hand rubs down, into the back of your panties, you think you just might die. The tip of his middle finger tests your weeping hole, just barely pressing in. Before you can even think to whine about it, his mouth is covering yours, swallowing your cries and your curses as he only slides into the first knuckle, teasing you with slow circles.
While he plays with your insides, his mouth does equal damage to your lips. Fast learner that he is, he’s come to find that if he just sucks and licks and nips your top lip swollen without really kissing you it makes you clamp and pulse rhythmically and desperately on his long digit. 
You unstick your mouth from his to plead your case, because if you don’t get more you’re going to fucking die, and he follows your lips with his teeth. 
“Wai-“ takes you back into a slow, awful, soaked kiss that sets every piece of you on fire, sizzles the skin and fat and meat off your body to leave only exposed nerve endings. 
Reasoning turns to begging fairly quickly when he finally lets you talk. “Want your fingers on my clit, please.”
He hums and pushes sweaty hair behind your ear. “Just my fingers? Not my tongue?” 
“No no no yes that’s better ok-“
“Shh.” He gives you a tiny peck, nuzzles his nose against yours, inspires a strangled gurgle of frustration. 
You're about to press the issue, but then he’s on top of you with your body pressed tight into the couch cushions. 
He really does dwarf you, gets concerned about his full weight and keeping it off your lungs. Unfortunately-fortunately-the position his caution inspires puts his mouth in line with your chest. 
Your chest, with which you so masterfully distracted him into missing his last shot in the shooting gallery.
You just know he’s thinking about that, as he glares down at your breasts as though they’d talked back to him. “I should cite these,” he says between planting open mouthed kisses to your cleavage, “for Reckless Endangerment.” He sucks at your tender flesh, hard enough that you know there will be a purple mark.
“I can’t help it that you looked,” you protest, arching against him. Here you are with your hands bound behind your back, with the cheek to talk back to this big, bad man pinning you down with his delicious weight–you must be missing some crucial wrinkle in your brain just for risk assessment.
He just clicks his tongue in answer. “Please keep talking back to me, sweet girl, it’s giving me ideas.”
Said ideas seem to include nibbling at your nipple through the thin satin of your bra, sending a jolt of longing straight to your already agonizingly aching cunt. “Please,” you beg, on the edge of losing your mind to this man’s touch. 
“I could spend all day giving these attention,” he tells you, ignoring your begging, flicking a path of saliva over the fabric covering your tits, landing a wide kiss on your other hardened bud while his thumb tweaks the tip of the last. 
You wish you could grind into the solid mass of him, but his weight pins your hips still, and this inspires a little feral growl that is, apparently, hilarious judging by his responding laugh. 
“That so?” He asks, finally giving you a proper hard suck that puts little teardrops in your lashes and conjures a strangled scream. “Didn’t think it through, huh?” 
“I hate you. You expect me to be able to think right now?”
“Yeah. Maybe that’s not fair,” he agrees with a wicked curl of lips. 
You think that maybe, just maybe, he might take some mercy on you, as he begins to move down your body. His long fingers hook in your panties, drawing them down your legs as slow as is humanly possible. You hold your breath, determined not to make the slightest sound of complaint, because if you do you just know he will punish you somehow.
With your ruffly skirt up around your waist he stares down at you, long enough that you almost wish you could cover yourself. Yet when his dark eyes roll up to meet yours, the intensity in his gaze makes your needy cunt clench so hard it borders on pain. “So fucking beautiful.” Suddenly it’s as though he is the one who cannot wait, scooping under your hips with his strong arms, holding you down with his big hand spread over your belly as his tongue dips into your center.
This is how you die.
From pure pleasure, and if he did not restrain you, you would have arched off of the couch as he laps at your clit, driving you wild with pointed licks and wide strokes of his tongue. He does not tease you with a single finger, gifting you two thick digits as deep inside you as he can reach, your needy cunt clenching fiercely upon him. It makes him groan, and he slides his fingers in and out of your velvety wet warmth as he takes you to heaven with his lush mouth. You fight not to crush his head with your thighs, your hips canted desperately as you strain for release.
“Oh, god, Tom…” You don’t know how you manage to form even that much of a coherent thought. The deep grumble of his approval vibrates against your pussy, straight to your womb, and you feel the tightening coil of pleasure tensing in your loins. It’s ridiculous, how fucking grateful you are that he doesnt tease you any longer, his clever, furious tongue shoving you over the edge of oblivion into a place of ecstasy that lasts for just a few, perfect, seconds. You’re not proud, but you scream nearly at the top of your lungs as it washes through you.
You’re afraid he’s going to think you’re a spazz, because there are tears in your eyes, and you literally cannot remember the last time anyone took such good care of you. Jesus fucking Christ. Do you say that? To this man, who was so generous to you, but is so fucking full of himself? He already knows he holds the keys to your castle. Does he have to have access to the inner sanctum too?
“My pretty girl,” he coaxes you with a kiss to your inner thigh, bringing you down so sweetly with his fingers still stretching you inside. “You taste so good, I could eat you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” Just hearing it makes your pussy flutter around his fingers, and he smiles to himself, bestowing your clit with one last lazy lick.
“Fuck. Tom!” You're not sure if you’re begging, or protesting, at this point.
When he slides out of you, you feel almost unbearably bereft of him, too empty for words, only able to watch with a lazy gaze as he sucks your glistening cum off his fingers.
Those damp fingers flick some tears off your face. “You alright?”
You try a little timid smile. “Yeah, I’m great.”
“Good, cuz I might have to make you cum again just to see that pretty look on your face.” 
You squirm in either protest or agreement, unsure if your body can handle more so soon. It would be kind of like going from 0 to 100. Plus, your hands are going a little numb underneath you. 
He must sense your hesitation, great detective that he is, and helps you sit up. 
“Why don’t you lay on your belly? Let me put a pillow under your hips?” 
Even though your body is thoroughly stimulated, it bristles at the idea of him inside of you. The idea of getting him closer, of having more of him is intoxicating, enthralling. 
He pulls your bottom lip from the sharp grip of your teeth, and kisses the sting away. “C’mon, I know you can give me more than that, beautiful.” 
You don’t know why you feel so embarrassed asking for this, but your eyes can’t focus on his own when you open your mouth. “Are you—can you be inside of me?” 
“Ass up and I’ll think about it.” 
And you do—you do end up with your ass in the air, dress pooled around your hips, cool air licking at your soaked cunt that you didn’t realize would be so open for his viewing pleasure. 
You squirm, huff, make him laugh. He kisses the hill of your bottom and gives the crease of your thigh a little singing slap. 
“Ow,” you whine, attempting to slide away from his fingers. He settles you back into place with a tug on the belt around your wrists and then kisses the little raw red mark left from his hand. 
“Let’s take a vacation so I can spend it sucking on this pretty pussy.” He flicks his tongue over the plumped back of your cunt.
“Tommmm.” Frustrated. Because he promised—okay, he said maybe—he would fuck you if you got into this vulnerable position, and instead he’s just teasing you with his tongue again, cleaning up all that sensitive sticky flesh and coaxing you back into a needy little creature. 
You hear blessed fabric being pulled and shifted, the telltale sign of his beautiful cock springing free, and this has never happened to you before, but when you look back at him, your mouth actually waters. He’s perfect. Dark, plush hair, florid, plump tip with just a tiny bead of cum dolloped on top that you desperately want to lick into your mouth. The tops of his thighs are bulky and lined with muscle. He’s thick and slim in the right places, eats his goddamn wheaties, that’s for sure, and you want to taste every inch of that tight olive skin. 
He pets the length of his shaft with his thumb, grips the head, and smiles at the probably stupid little look of awe on your face. “You good?” 
Spectacular. Goddamn fantastic. “Take the rest of your clothes off. Let me see you.” You don’t even care that you’re basically begging at this point. Anything to see him, feel him sliding inside your deprived, clenching cunt. Anything for him. 
His smile does not waver, as his hands go to the buttons of his shirt. He is not shy about laying himself bare, but then, why would he be? He’s the most gorgeous specimen of male beauty you’ve ever seen. You make a small sound, when all his clothes are in a pile on the floor, and his broad chest is on full display.
You cannot stop staring.
His smile widens a little, though there is a softness in his eyes for you that melts you even more as he lets you stare at the beautiful length of him. All you can really do is look at him, so much so that it strains your neck and makes the space between your shoulder blades ache. 
He takes that wonderful appendage between his legs and presses the bulk of it inside your pussy lips, grinding the head against your clit and getting the whole thing nice and soaked in preparation. “You know,” he grunts, “when I first saw you in that waiting room, I thought you were beautiful.”
His sweet words contrast so beautifully with the filthy slipping tease of his cock, and you could cum from the combination, but you’d much rather do that with him stretching you open and pounding into your desperate pussy. “Tom, want you.” You take a ragged breath when he presses his tip more firmly against your clit. 
“You got me, baby,” he soothes, steadying the thrum of your hips with his sure grip. 
He’s so close to sinking inside you, splitting you open, filling you in a way that’s surely. going to ruin you for any other man. You sob into the pillows, hands knuckled tight around the thick leather of his belt when his head presses against your gasping entrance. 
“Please please please.” You’re not even sure if you’re begging aloud or if your voice is even coherent at this point. All you know is Tom, and he’s all you want to know. 
He sinks into you, deeper than his fingers and tongue, deeper than anything you’ve ever experienced. You feel more whole, in this moment, than you have in a very long time with him nudged up against your cervix, with his warm hips pressing into your ass. Maybe you never realized just how empty you were up until now. 
He doesn’t sound much better off than you do, and you can tell by the tightening of his thigh muscles he’s trying to give it to you slow and deep, just like you told him on the phone, instead of fucking into you like a depraved animal. 
You giggle when he curses, using this new found position to wiggle your hips and push him deeper, wrenching sharp groans from the both of you. 
“Jesus, fuck.” He spreads you open so that he can watch himself sink in and out, see your overfilled cunt milk him slowly. “I knew you’d feel like heaven,” he growls. “Do you have any idea how insane you’ve been making me?”
When he reaches to touch your clit with his thick cock filling you to the brim, your smug laughter dies on your lips, replaced by a hedonistic moan, a sound you hardly recognize as coming from your own mouth. 
“Yeah?” he says, as though you’ve said something actually intelligible. “Is that good, baby? You like my fingers while I fuck you with this big cock?” The panting strain in this steadfast man’s voice, who is usually so in control, is as maddening as all the rest. That this man goes to pieces for you is as intoxicating as it is seemingly unbelievable.
“Yes,” is all you can manage, your face pressed into the cushions of the couch, your hips straining for him even though it must be physically impossible for you to take any more. After the fury of your first orgasm, you don’t know how it’s possible that your body could deliver again, but by some miracle you feel it filling the cradle of your hips, the clench and burn of your nerves desperate to immolate themselves again.
You have a feeling this miracle has a name, and it is Tom Ludlow.
“You gonna cum again for me, pretty girl?” 
You absolutely are.
You answer him with a fierce squeeze that makes him curse again. You feel him trembling behind you, fighting not to drive himself inside you with total abandon. You decide that you want that. You want to feel him come undone, to fuck you the way he wants to. For once you’re not afraid. You want to give him everything. 
“Harder,” you pant. “It’s ok. Take me. I want you.” He stutters in his rhythm behind you, as though just the thought is almost enough to drive him over.
“You sure, baby girl?” His big hand makes a soothing circle over the globe of your ass. It makes you purr like a cat, and you know you are utterly lost to this man.
“Yes.”
He gives a tiny thrust, hitting just right, pinching your clit at the same time, taunting. “You positive?”
“Fuck you, Tom. Just fuck me. Please.” 
And he does. Not only understands the assignment, but goes above and beyond to achieve it. Your first orgasm on his cock is white hot, back arching, lip splitting. You think for a second you might pass out, like when you’re laughing too hard or stand up too fast, but he’s still drilling away. Rubbing diligently with three disperse fingers, staying right there despite having to fight against his own girth getting in the way and the absolutely slippery soaked mess between your bodies. 
“There you go,” he praises, “you deserve it, honey. Take it all.” His words are broken, voice evident with the threat of his own release. 
You’re an absolute mess, wracked with sobs, clawing at the skin of your own back. He tugs you back, because you’re trying to unconsciously get away from the overwhelming stimulation, absolutely painfully and pleasurably fucking cock drunk. The sole focus of your body is where you are joined with Tom, where he is doing exactly what you asked. 
He leans over you so that his scratchy five o clock shadow presses into the crook of your shoulder and makes a shiver curl down your spine. He’s not doing it because he’s tired, he’s doing it so he can talk to you, whisper in your ear and lick your throat and take you deeper.
“One more, baby girl. Can you do that for me? Love feeling you cum on my cock. Could stay inside you for hours, sweet girl, give me another one.” 
Filthy words whispered so lovingly against your skin–who knew it could work out for you, for once, to be a people pleaser? That is, if this doesn’t kill you. But God, what a way to go. You have reached a point of euphoria and overstimulation where you are practically hovering outside your own body, watching yourself with a birds eye view as Tom absolutely rails you from behind. Defying your own expectation and hell, maybe even anatomical possibility, that scintillating pleasure explodes and spreads through your loins. You cry out into the couch, partly for happiness and in part for mercy. It’s all so much and you’ve never felt anything like it in your life.
“That’s my girl,” rasps Tom from above you. “So perfect. So good for me, giving me everything I want.” His thrusts become longer, more erratic, his tip bumping your cervix before withdrawing almost completely, then slamming back inside you again. You can hardly control your own body at this point, your every muscle trembling with the intensity of it all. “Love the way you take me. Want me to fill you up, beautiful?” 
If you had a brain cell left in your body, you might have found this amusing. The unflappable Tom Ludlow, babbling, for you? But somehow, at the the same time, amidst the desperate bump and grind of this carnal dance between you–it’s also impossibly sweet. Without a grain of shame left to your name, you beg for it. “Yes, I want you. Give me what’s mine, baby.”
With a groan that rattles you to the marrow of your bones Tom’s hips snap and lock against you, filling you with the hot rush of his seed. You cry out with him, meeting him as he spasms against you.
The world has taken on a hazy, golden edged focus. You are vaguely aware of deft fingers on your wrists, the belt loosening behind you. “You ok, baby?” He rubs your wrists, kissing the reddened skin.
“Yes.” You laugh, a sound of dazed joy. “More than ok. Jesus fucking christ, Tom.”
He collapses on the couch beside you with a knowing smile, pulling you into his arms, where you both rest in a breathless heap.
“Fuck,” he says softly, kissing the crown of your messy hair. 
“What?” You ask.
“We’re gonna have to get Plan B.” 
“I’m–” You are still trying to catch your breath, your face buried in his broad chest. “On birth control.”
“Sorry, I should have asked.” he kisses your hair again. “Just wanted inside you so bad.” 
You giggle for a little bit, and he laughs with you. For a minute, that’s all the both of you can do. It’s the after euphoria, that pleasant droopy high.  “Oh, how terrible of you, Tom.” 
“We should get you cleaned up,” he suggests, making no move to untangle himself from you. 
“Mm, yeah,” you agree, also not moving at all. 
The temptation of sleep looms closer and closer while you’re wrapped up in Tom, and you know you have to go to the bathroom because UTIs are never pleasant, but the thought of getting up almost makes you want to cry. Maybe Tom Ludlow knows more about female anatomy than you would give him credit for, though, and it makes you admire him even more. “Hey,” he says in a sleepy voice, rubbing your side. “C’mon. I’ll be right here waiting.” 
He helps you stand, kisses your tummy, and then waits patiently to pull you back into his arms where everything is golden and warm and safe. You kiss his cheek, and he chuckles. “Me too, honey.”
You fall asleep in his arms, and you’ve never, ever felt more safe.
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seat-safety-switch · 1 year
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Just like ducks, you can't trust a push scooter. Designed originally for proletarian aims, these overgrown skateboards are an accident waiting to happen. Despite their lack of control, missing suspension, and predilection for throwing you over the handlebars into a life-altering head injury, folks put a powerful electric motor on them. And then they started to get actually kinda good.
A few months ago, I was on the highway. I looked over, briefly, and noticed that the bicycle path running parallel to the highway had someone enjoying a push scooter. I thought nothing of it, until I looked over again, and noticed that the scooter was still keeping up with me. Clocking triple digits on a multi-use municipal pathway? Now that was something I had to see for myself.
After a visit to the library to use their internet access, I found out all about them. In case you're curious, the computer at my house comes with too many court-ordered restrictions, but those restrictions don't apply to my alter-ego, Manfred P. Guy-I-Found-The-Library-Card-Of-In-The-Trunk-Of-A-1996-Grand-Am-At-The-Junkyard. I think that last name is Polish, or something. Lots of consonants. Once I had absorbed all the information I could before the chief librarian chased me out for once again smearing Lucas Red & Tacky No. 2 machine grease onto the keyboard while typing, it was off to the local classifieds to get ahold of a death scoot of my very own.
Here's a fun fact about most cars: they have a lot of accessory belts. Those accessory belts can hold a lot of horsepower before they snap, well in excess of the amount that my wheezy economy slant-six can actually make. If you were to add, say, twelve or thirty scooters' worth of batteries and motors to that belt drive, why, you'd finally have enough power to get up Old Man Hill without having to downshift. Which is good, because usually I have to turn my car off for at least fifteen minutes before it will do that.
And there's more benefit, too: after washing the blood off, the remaining parts of the scooters are still useful as scooters. I ended up selling them to a bunch of electric-vehicle degenerates who were happy to add their own Wish.com battery packs and motors to turn them back into electric scooters. Now that's how we'll save the environment: recycling.
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paigegonerogue · 2 months
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My Top 5 Shots in Every Episode of TLOU
Episode 1
TW: Guns, creepy imagery
Quick disclaimer that I was not able to find two scenes I wanted for shots in this list. I couldn’t find unedited versions of the scene with the infected child, or Ellie’s introduction, however their are plenty of other amazing shots in this list without them!
Number #5
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The Last of Us quite often has very shallow depth of field. That means shots in which the background is out of focus (blurry). It works well for a lot of things, like making really pretty shots or drawing attention to certain things, but in this case it uses it for suspense. Ms. Adler twitching in the background is absolute nightmare fuel, and the way that it was played, with the camera focused on an unaware Sarah the whole time, was so incredibly well done and scary that this shot became one of my favorites of the episode.
Number #4
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This one is great on a lot of levels. Not only is it pretty, with the out of focus fire lighting half of Sarah’s face (making the shot prettier with shallow depth of field), but the color scheme absolutely rocks too. But I think my favorite thing about this shot is the emotion it portrays without saying a word. Props to Nico Parker, because the tone of the visuals and her devastated expression really show the toll the apocalypse is taking on Sarah.
Number #3
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This shot is a masterclass in “show don’t tell”. With just this image, we instantly know exactly what type of place our protagonists are living in. Dirty streets, snipers on roofs, lack of freedom or happiness. Somehow this one shots delivers paragraphs of exposition, and does it so well and good-looking that it’s not only bearable, but excellent.
Number #2
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Another example of how well this show uses depth of field, this shot works on so many levels, and also just looks absolutely awesome. The contrasting colors of the oranges and browns of the set vs. the blues and grays of the screen is so striking, and I have just always been an absolute sucker for shots of shots, and this is one of the best executed ones I’ve ever seen.
Before I reveal my #1, here are some honorable mentions…
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This shot is simply fantastic. The explosion, the people, the view through the car window, it all just works absolutely so well.
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Another excellent example of visual world building, showing the tanks driving through the streets. The ultra-high camera angle also looks fantastic, and the way they used the rooftops and textures is just incredible.
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Two really gorgeous, well-lit shots of Sarah.
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Just like the entire show, this is a really well lite scene, and the way it uses depth of field is so well-done and pretty. Also the high 3/4 angle is fantastic, and don’t even get me started on the eery, creepy tentacles.
Number #1
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This is just an I incredible shot all around. The side profiles and rim-lighting for Joel and Sarah, the out of focus explosion centered in the background. It’s so well executed, and you can feel the emotion, the fear, coming through the screen. Bravo!
Tune in for ep 2 tmrw!
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