#Cat Peeing Themselves

[bunnyboy-juice]

stink monster appreciation post 💕💕

[unluckyxse7en]

Watching a cat video and realizing I can't remember the last time I'd had a cat irl who had genuinely chill or relaxing moments with no baggage attached is just... kinda sucky.

[boimgfrog]

not a dog person but a dog enjoyer. overjoyed to see a dog, love when my friends have a dog, lord fucking forbid i ever own one though i cant think of a worse fate

[lastoneout]

Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.

I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.

I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.

[mushroomates]

legolas headcanons:

is, by all accounts, the worlds most awkward elf

most of the fellowship doesn’t even realize how weird he is

thranduil did not socialize his boy well. legolas is not aloof he just has no idea what he’s supposed to be doing.

will walk very slowly with exaggerated movements around hobbits because he thinks they won’t see him otherwise.

the hobbits thinks this is elf custom. frodo theorizes this is because elves want to rest their eyes and ears when they’re at home, so other elves like to announce themselves so no one gets spooked.

this is aided by the fact that legolas loudly announces his presence whenever he enters the room, just incase you missed it.

this conclusion is false. legolas will approach other elves by charging at them, full speed. alternatively, shooting an arrow in their vicinity for a vibe check.

he also likes shooting at people to wake them up and/or scare them

legolas likes that it’s a gentle reminder to his companions that he could kill them at any time and they should be honored that he doesn’t.

aragorn has options about this. legolas tells him that he should be grateful that such a skilled elf is on his side and cares for him. aragorn maintains that if legolas really cared, the elf would stop waking him up with ‘good morning’ shots. he also would like to note that legolas’s loud singing is only slightly better than an arrow flying at you first thing in the morning:.

legolas tries to make friends by staring at them from afar and when they look at him he looks away. like a cat. he will also blink at u as if to say “look! i like you! i’m closing my eyes!!!” again, like a cat.

will bring you small gifts to curry favor, also like a cat. interesting rocks and pretty feathers, samples of dirt, fallen leaves in different shapes and colors, and whatever flowers are near by and catch his eye. gets very upset if you don’t marvel at them for the appropriate amount of time.

will eat bites off of your plate. this is a form of endearment. he’s showing he trusts you and likes you. he’s also showing his inability to cook and hopes you’ll take pity on him by sharing your food.

sometimes will intentionally walk loudly around the camp if he’s bored, angry, or lonely so he can wake aragorn up and they can be awake together :)

likes to sing, loudly, at inappropriate times

no one in the fellowship has seen him piss. some of the hobbits are under the impression that elves don’t pee. aragorn and gandalf do not correct them.

up at the asscrack of dawn. this is annoying, because he’s chipper, looks amazing, and is a tad judgmental that you aren’t as well.

captain obvious as well as worlds most unhelpful elf ever. will point out your mistake, claim to know how to fix it and half the time not offer the solution or his assistance.

cannot do laundry. he doesn’t even get dirty enough to consider it, and with how little people in middle earth wash their clothes anyway, none of his clothes have been cleaned for easily centuries.

is very confused by dogs. doesn’t understand what he’s supposed to do with them. they’re always so happy and want (physical???) attention and,, it’s not a one and done thing either. you’re supposed to keep petting them? after you already pet them.

they’re like wolves, but smaller and maybe stupider. they also stink. boromir has explained to him many times that dogs are man’s best friend and are beautiful creatures. this worries legolas, because that means either dogs are more evolved than they let on,, or men are significantly further behind than elves than he first thought..

can not play the harp. is upset by this fact.

never really bothered to learn how to harp, either.

he believes he should be able to play the harp regardless because the harp is just a big bow with many strings. this is, in fact, false.

will eat anything. mushrooms and questionable berries mean nothing to him.

this upsets aragorn as he believes legolas is setting a bad example for the hobbits, dispite hobbits having the most durable digestive systems. (note: elves can eat almost anything, but hobbits have the stomach of a labrador retriever. they are always hungry, can can eat anything, even what they’re not supposed to)

DID set a bad example for boromir, who mistakingly ate some of the berries legolas offered him and had the shits for weeks.

is like 90% sure who frodo is. it’s definitely one of the hobbits. it’s probably not the one with the pony.

is faceblind. he can’t recognize other people’s faces for the life of him. if you asked him to pick out aragorn in a sea of humans, he’d panic dispite knowing the man for 50+ years.

this also goes for all races, including dwarves. gimli thought he might just be racist and covering his ass, but then watched him stall for like 30 minutes making small talk with some lorien elves and try (and fail) to pick celeborn out of the crowd.

does know what galadriel and thranduil look like. has a hard time pointing out elrond.

will forget your name almost immediately after you tell him. guys like 3k old and has met a lot of people give him a break

to be fair he does know who you are and what you sound/look like. defining features like voice and hair help a lot. it’s just if you were to give him a book of cropped faces and ask him to name, just one,,, he’d panic and throw it at you.

feels robbed of the golden ages,, resents the fact that the world he knows is drastically different that the world he could have been. wishes there were more elves his age and just more elves in general.

that being said he wouldn’t change this for anything as the world he’s in gave him the friends he’s made and the adventure of a life time :)

he doesn’t wash his hands. like ever or at all.

[armandisdaddy]

Arrogance (Modern Au!)

(Daemon Targaryen x Fem Reader)

(Content/ Warning: 18 +, Age-gap, cheating, angst, swearing, violence, avoidance, p in v penetration, sexual innuendos, cat and mouse.)

(Summary: After finding out your boyfriend and best friend have been screwing behind your back you find comfort in the one person you cannot stand…there won’t be any sex in this chapter. But it’s coming…)

Chapter One

Today was you and your boyfriend Aemond’s third anniversary. You enjoyed the three years you spent with him and even the thoughts of marriage and children bounced around your mind. Things weren’t perfect but beyond everything you were still “happy”. Today your best friend Alys was throwing a party in your honor. You were getting ready deciding on a dark green dress that hugged you just right and stopped just above you knees and two slits that came up either side. You looked amazing and you knew your man was going to love seeing you in it. You both showed up together looking like the perfect couple everything was going smoothly as everyone clapped or the both of you and your best friend was there to greet you. She gave you both a hug. “Oh my god’s y/n…you look amazing.” She gushed over you as she past you a drink.

The night was perfect and you and Aemond danced the night away along with a few of your other friends. You had a few drinks and the liquor was starting to set in when you notice your best friend and your boyfriend were no where to be found. You shrugged it off not thinking about it too much and then you realized you had to pee. Stumbling into the bathroom you heard a couple enjoying themselves in the stall next to yours and for a moment you cheered them on until you recognized the man’s voice that was echoing off the walls. You’re heart started to pound and your head was spinning so you leaned over to see the shoes that were planted on the floor it was Aemond’s dress shoes and Alys’s dress pooled on the floor. Being as drunk as you are you gasped and finally your presence was noticed. “Oh fuck…y/n..” Aemond said and you quickly got the fuck out of there. Running and sobbing Aemond was fixing himself tailing after you and so was Alys. Everyone saw it all and as you can suspect the party was over you were in your car too drunk to move it but you sobbed with your head pressed against the steering wheel. Aemond and Alys had been begging you to let them in so they could gaslight you into thinking you imagined what you heard and saw but after the first three attempts didn’t work they started going at each other yelling and cursing.

Your eyes were hot from all of the crying and your head pounded profusely from the pressure. You noticed that it finally got quiet they had decided to leave. “Thank the seven.” But you were yet again disturbed by a knock on your car window. This time it wasn’t Aemond or Alys it was his uncle Daemon. You were surprised to see him of all people at your car checking on you. He made it quite clear the first time he met you that he wasn’t too fond of you and after that you kept your distance. You let your window down a bit. “What do you want?” He wasn’t he usual arrogant self. His eyes were soft while he looked at you and finally he spoke. “Do you need a lift? You’re too drunk to drive.” You wanted him to say something snarky so you could come back with some witty comeback but he didn’t. “Yeah…I guess I do..” Stepping out you left the keys to Aemond’s porche inside it It didn’t matter at this point if someone stole it good for them you thought. “So where do you want to go?” He asked and you started to cry again realizing you couldn’t go back to the apartment you shared with Aemond and you could even go to your best friend’s place. “Hey hey…look you can come to my house I have a room you can sleep in yeah? Does that sound good?” You nodded still sniffling softly…, “Why are you helping me? I thought you didn’t like me..” He sighed and shrugged the question off, “Don’t worry about that right now. Let’s just get you somewhere warm.”

Pulling up to his house you had never seen it before but it was goregous…and of course it was he’s a Targaryen. He was holding your heels for you as you walked in and quickly led you to the room you’d be sleeping in. “There is a bathroom in this room if you wish to take a shower or bath.” His eyes were wandering a bit…You did look amazing in that dress… showing off just the right amount of skin… he shook himself from his thought. “If you need a change of clothes I can get you one of my shirts and some sweats.” You nodded softly and took down your hair. He left for a moment and came back in with your clothes for the night. “Daemon…can you help me unzip my dress?” He nodded and you could feel the warmth of his hands on your back. Slowly sliding down your spin as he unzipped the dress stopping just above your ass. He cleared his throat and left soon after. You took a quick shower washing away everything away. You cried in the shower and even in the bed not getting a wink of sleep. By the time you finally passed out Daemon was waking you up with breakfast. “Come on sunshine I’ve got pancakes waiting in the kitchen for you.” You were groggy and irritated; your head was stilling pounding as if someone was tap dancing on your head. Daemon smiled seeing you in your natural element passing you your plate. You weren’t in the mood to eat but he stared you down and didn’t touch his food until you took a few bites.

“Could you possibly find your own place in a few days? I’ll be happy to help you get your things today and you can keep them here until you do.” You sighed and took a sip of your coffee he had ready for you., “No…I just finished college…and needed to start looking for a job…Aemond handled everything.” He hummed drinking his coffee and finishing his plate. “Alright, well I needed a new assistant anyway so you will be working for me. You will atleast need a month to get on your feet and be on your way yes?” You were still very confused. “I mean thanks for the job but why are you helping me…remember you said you thought I was a cunt…” He chuckled remembering the day he met you. “Yes I did say that well honestly I thought if I had ran you off you would be saved from the cunt…my nephew that is.” You scoffed, “Don’t you think “he’s not a good guy” would’ve been more affective.”, he smiled, “Yeah you’re right…I just wanted to be a bit of a dick I guess. Well, the weekend is over so your first day is tomorrow. Let’s go ahead and get your stuff.”

It took about 30 minutes for the two of you to get to what was soon to be your old apartment. You were met at the entrance with all of your stuff on the sidewalk with a small note it saying trash…mostly everything you had of any value was ruined. Now this pissed Daemon off and he went up there to have a small chat with his darling nephew. You were still trying to pick through things and fighting back tears when Daemon pulled you back to the car. “Daemon…my stuff.” He groaned in a low tone, “I will get you new stuff don’t worry about it. I’m cooking dinner and we’re getting drunk tonight.” He knew this was what you needed after all this so he made a five star dinner for the two of you and paired it with some fancy red wine. “Listen y/n I know you and I aren’t the best of friends right now and I know you’re going through a lot so I’m trying to give you a helping hand. From what I understand you are a very self sufficient young woman. My brother was considering giving you a position with our company if you didn’t know so I’m making the call to put you on our team also because I know it’s going to pissed Aemond off to have to see flaunting in and out of my office every day. So do not disappoint me, understand?” You nodded and without another word you toasted to a wonderful working relationship together. The food was delicious you had no idea Daemon had so many hidden talents…interesting. After dinner Daemon offered to watch movies with you and obliged. The wine was flowing and he had made popcorn. You two were watching comedies to keep your spirits up and you ended up leaning on his shoulder which he moved away from but he ended up letting you nuzzle into him. He enjoyed this more than he’d like to admit but quickly his mind was taken from such a sentimental moment when your hand started to wander and it all seemed so innocent your hand was laying on his thigh then it eased up his chest. His breath hitched within his chest and he looked over at you only to see you looking right at him he chuckled nervously and moved your hand. “If I’m being honest y/n I’d enjoy fucking you into oblivion…but I uhhh…believe it or not I don’t like taking advantage of women especially you. Maybe we should go to bed we have a long day tomorrow with it being your first day and all.”, you sigh softly a bit hurt by the rejection but he wasn’t wrong you were very vulnerable right now and you appreciated his honesty nonetheless. The next day was the beginning of an interesting work life with Daemon. You were awakened by him he was acting as your own personal alarm. It was five in the fucking morning. “Why the fuck are we up so early the office doesn’t open until nine?”, He laughed placing her work clothes on the bed neatly. “Well, I usually go for a morning run before work so I figured you’d go with me to keep your mind off of that cunt of an ex boyfriend of yours. Especially since you will be seeing him a lot more these days.”, your groggy face twisted into a grimace. “I forgot he works in the family business fuck…me…great. I’m not going on a run today. I’ll be getting ready and I’ll make breakfast for you, deal?”, you held your hand out and he hadn’t experienced your cooking yet, but he figured what could it hurt so he shook on it.

You took a well needed shower did a simple make up look with lashes, lip liner, and lip gloss. You made bacon, eggs, and waffles for Daemon and decided to look at the outfit he had left out. A rather sexy secretary ensemble for you to wear a white button up with half sleeves, a tight pencil skirt, black panty hose, and black heels. You didn’t know what to do with your hair so you pinned it up. By the time you were ready Daemon had already arrived and was in the shower. While you waited at the door he approached you with his white tresses slicked back and a suite tailored just for him. You were taken aback at how well he cleaned up and he was speechless seeing how well everything fit on you. This was going to be harder than he thought., “You look nice.” He said rather plainly trying to hide what he was really thinking. You nodded in thanks and now you both were out the door getting into his car. The ride wasn’t very long but by the time you pulled up it was about eight-thirty. “Perfect timing. I can show you around and get you in the loop before we get busy.”, He spoke in an elated tone.

You had only been in this place once, you had forgotten just how humongous it was inside. It was as if you were seeing it all over again. Your new boss was showing you around giving you a quick tour of where to find the coffee maker, printers, bathrooms, and now his office. Your desk was right next to the entrance of his office and you placed down your things. “So y/n I know this is all new to you so I won’t be to harsh, but I will be stern and mistakes can be made but not too many will be tolerated, understand?” You nodded quickly and he sent you off to get coffee. The doors were open and everyone was rolling in. And of course the first person you see was a familiar one. Aemond but he had a black eye and a busted lip…was this the result of the conversation his uncle had with him. You were certain it was and while you waited to use the keurig Aemond finally noticed you. He was at a loss for words seeing you here and looking as good as you did. “Y/n what are you doing here?” You decided to ignore him as if he wasn’t even there. You made Daemon’s coffee and went back to your wing of the building and Aemond followed until he realized who you were working for. He was fuming when he stormed into his office. “Why the fuck is she here? I know you don’t care for me that much, but after what just happened you want her to work here.”, Daemon spoke it a rather conniving tone, “Your father, my brother planned on extending a job offer to her and you knew this already. So you think just because you fucked up by screwing her bestfriend that we were going to leave her assed out after all she’s had to deal with being with you? You are highly mistaken, Aemond. If this is all you came to speak to me about you can get back to work. I need my assistant in here to help me with a few things.” Aemond huffed in irritation and left to go speak to Viserys.

Daemon called you into his office and you quickly entered. “You alright?”, He asked and you sighed holding back tears. “Listen it will get easier don’t worry about that bastard. If anything seeing him squirm should be fun.”, You smiled. “You know I never thought of it that way.”

to be continued…

They make quite the conniving pair don’t they..?

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for calling animal rescue/welfare on my mom who loves her pets?

My mom has 2 cats and 1 dog. I want to start off by saying that she doesn't physically abuse her animals.

They're in a weird state of being really emotionally spoiled and completely physically neglected. The dog sleeps in bed with her and is always on the sofa, doesn't get told off when he pees and poops in the house, and the cats are always getting cuddles. The cats are getting kinda fat because they're fed a lot.

My mom is an alcoholic and she doesn't look after herself or her home at all. It's been years since she showered or bathed, she goes weeks without changing her clothes except for when she works, her house is genuinely falling completely apart. Cupboard doors are falling off at the hinges and propped up with buckets, doors don't close, carpets are coming up off the floor, wallpaper is peeling, the shower door fell off and shattered, the toilet lid is cracked in half, the floors are too dirty to step on without shoes, the entire house STINKS of animal urine and there are stains everywhere. A couple of years back she had an insect infestation in one of the bedrooms.

Now, my mom loves her pets and really emotionally relies on them. Ever since I moved out she's been alone and has regressed even worse because when she's at home she has nothing to do but drink and watch TV. The pets are her only company most days.

However, her bad hygiene and home care translates to them. It has been YEARS since the dog was walked, and months since he even got a cursory trip over the road to the small grass area outside her house. His fur is always matted, and he recently had fleas (god knows how when he doesn't leave the house but there you go). He has bald patches of fur missing. He pees and poops all over the floors and carpets because he just doesn't get let outside to do it enough - and he runs away or hides when you find it so he 100% knows he's not supposed to, he just doesn't have a choice because he's not able to go into the garden. His claws are always so long they're bothering him when he walks, and as gross as it is to describe there have been COUNTLESS times I've visited and he's had literal shit caked onto his fur around his tail because he's had diarrhea and when I've pointed it out that he needs to be washed my mom brushes it off with "It's only a little bit" and continues to let him onto the bed/couch.

The cats are mildly better off because they can clean themselves, but their litter trays are always OVERFLOWING - like, genuinely, mountains of cat poop piling up in the trays to the point where they're going on the floor because they don't have room in the tray - and one of them is sleeping in a bed that is Caked in vomit stains, clumps of hair, other miscellaneous marks, all of that.

I've called someone about it before when I still lived there, and a woman did stop by to check it out and told my mom that the cat litters were unacceptable, but my mom just lies to them. According to her the dog gets walked twice a day without fail, gets a ton of enrichment, everything, and you can't really prove her to be lying. The woman told her she'd drop by in a week to check on the litters, my mom kept them clean until she came back and gave the okay, and then just went right back to neglecting them and nothing was done about it.

I have no idea what to do anymore but I want to call again and really impress upon them that they're not being cared for. I sent photos and video evidence last time along with an explanation, but it doesn't seem like it got me anywhere at all. I just don't know what else to do. I've brought up the idea of taking at least the dog with me to my new place (it's very nearby so she'd still be able to visit him and I'd be able to walk him up to her house), but she VEHEMENTLY objected and told me she'd never be able to let him go.

I'm not sure what it would do tbh, even disregarding that she'd probably just get a new pet I would be genuinely worried she'd lose all interest in life if they were taken away.

TL;DR Mom's alcoholism means she doesn't look after her pets and they're not being cared for at all, but taking them away would severely impact her mental health.

WIBTA for calling animal services on her again?

What are these acronyms?

[yourgoddesspenelope]

I think the best way to punish a kitten sub is by making them piss themselves. Think about it. Cats are literally some of the cleanest creatures on earth. I mean they spend 90% of their day cleaning themselves. They can’t stand to be dirty. So if my kitten misbehaves, what better way to punish them by making them soil themselves? I’d keep them on a tight leash and I’d keep refilling their little water dish. Then I’d wait as long as it takes for them to ask me to let them go to the bathroom. When I tell them “No” I can already see the panic in their eyes. It won’t take long before the begging starts. And I’d just have to keep telling them “No baby, this is a punishment, you’ve been such a bad kitty today. If you need to pee that badly you’re gonna do it right here”.

[hyunsvngs]

JUNO JUNO JUNO JUNO JUNO

PLS PLS PLS

CAN U GIVE UR 💭S ON WHO OUT OF SKZ LIKES STUFFIE/PILLOW HUMPING!??!?! LIKE EITHER WATCHING THEIR PARTNER DO IT OR THEM FOING IT THEMSELVES!?!?

BC BC BC I WANT CHRIS TO WATCH ME AND LIX HUMP OUR STUFFIES WHILE HE PUDHES OUT HAIR BACK AND SPITS IN OUR MOUTHS!! BONUS IF HE PEES IN OUR MOUTHS!??!?!

OR MINHO MAKING ME AND JISUNG HUMP OUR STUFFIES WHILE WE WEAR CAT EARS AND WE ARENT ALLOWED CUM!??!?!

WOOF WOOF WOOF

PLS JUNO IM LOSING MY MIND

wants to do it themselves:

lix: wants to do it himself!! and wants you to watch!! he’d LOVE THATTT! maybe on the bini pillow in a pretty little skirt.. sit on the bed and watch him, calling him a pretty little princess or maybe even a pretty slut.. he’ll whine so pretty for you and cry when he cums all over the pillow. spit on it and make him keep going because lixie looooves the overstimulation

jisung: he wants you to do it too, both of you grinding desperately on pillows and making out with eachother doing so. he’s frantic with his movements, whining and tweaking his own nipples while you tell him how filthy you look as if you’re not gushing and creaming all over the pillow yourself. grab him by the hair and make him lick both pillows clean afterwards and he might just cum again for you<3

wants to watch you do it:

chan: oh this would fuel his corruption kink. beg for him while he’s working and he’ll send you onto your knees next to him, bucking your hips onto that spotify pillow from the studio… keep begging and whining for him and he might let you cum. he’ll act disinterested all the way through but chan just cant help himself! he’ll probably pull you onto his lap halfway through and whine while you sink onto his cock

minho: definitely wants to watch you hump a stuffie with your little kitty ears on. put a tail plug in and he’s gone. he’ll sit on the edge of the bed and jerk his cock over and over, maybe even record you to send it to the other boys.. he wants to cum before you do so that he can cum on the pillow, giving his kitty some milk and making sure you keep grinding on it to give your swollen little clit some reprieve

jeongin: this is straight from his dirty fucking dreams. he wants you to hump it completely naked, tits bouncing so he can gawk at them. maybe he’ll fuck your ass open while you grind your cute little pussy on your pillow, or even your favourite stuffie so he can degrade you while you do it.. “really? so desperate for my cock in your pussy that you’ll hump the fucking thing you sleep with? no, jagi. i’m fucking this hole.”

[steddieas-shegoes]

Request: THIS IDEA JUST SPARKED HOLY SHIT?? OK have you ever watched Hot Ones with Sean Evens (first we feast is the youtube channel) so basically that but Steve is the one being interviewed but he LOVES spicy food??(watch the episode with Florence Pugh i LOVE it but basically I want it to be kinda like that) just yeah that. Jxjxnxnx please and thank you

MY LOVE ❤️ I admit, most of what I watch of really anything is either highlights on Tik Tok or short clips my friends send me because I am out of touch with the cool kids. But Hot Ones is SO GOOD. The Lewis Capaldi episode (I do love him anyways) had me actually almost pee my pants laughing. I hope you love this fun (short, sorry) thing for this! - Mickala ❤️

-------------------------------------------------

“I just don’t know why you got Hot Ones. They could have had the whole band on there making idiots of themselves,” Eddie pouted.

He’d been pouting for two days now.

In fact, his entire band was from the moment Steve called him on tour to let him know that he would be doing the Hot Ones interview next week.

“I told you, they had a last minute cancellation and my schedule just worked. Maybe you’ll get next season,” Steve said over the phone as the oven timer went off to let him know his brownies were done cooking.

“Whatcha makin’ Stevie?” Eddie’s curiosity was adorable.

He was in London, just got off stage from their last show in Europe. Steve was in their home in LA, having the last lazy day in before his awards season started.

“If I tell you, you’ll be sad you’re missing it.”

“Tell us! Tell us!” Gareth said from much closer than Steve would have expected.

“Hi Gare Bear. No personal space tonight?”

Eddie laughed as Steve pulled the brownies out of the oven and shut it off.

“He said personal space is for people who don’t like each other and he likes me very much,” Steve could hear Eddie’s eye roll in his voice. “A shame because I can’t stand him.”

“Play nice boys. You’ll be home in less than 24 hours,” Steve reminded them.

Gareth lived a mile up the road from them with his boyfriend and their excessive amount of cats.

Excessive being four.

Steve was allergic, so any amount of cats seemed excessive to him.

But Steve and Gareth were close, had been since even before Eddie and Steve started dating.

He was Steve’s best man in their wedding, much to Dustin’s bafflement. He only didn’t argue because Eddie softened the blow by asking him to be his own best man.

Usually if baked goods or a home cooked meal were involved, Gareth would show up at their door ready to partake.

“You’ll be home when I get there?”

“Yep. Cleared my whole day just for you, baby.”

“Good. Miss you.

“Miss you too. You heading to bed?” Steve poked at the brownies, making sure they were cooked.

“Yeah, I’m beat.” Eddie yawned to emphasize how exhausted he was. “Did your manager tell them you love spicy foods or are you just gonna let them assume you’re a wimp?”

“Nah. It’ll be fun.”

—-------------------

When he arrives on the set of Hot Ones, Sean greets him with a smile and a handshake.

Eddie wasn’t able to come with him, but Robin had promised to record the whole thing just for them.

She watched from the side next to his manager, Nancy, and his bodyguard, Hopper.

They settled at the table, got mic’d up, makeup touched up, and Sean reminded him that if he absolutely had to tap out, they could stop recording and edit everything accordingly to make it look like he made it through the challenge.

Steve wasn’t worried.

The first three wings didn’t even have a kick. It was just a casual conversation between friends.

He talked about his work with a theater group for kids in New York City, as well as his work on an indie film that was coming out in the fall.

The fourth and fifth wings had a pinch of spice to them, but nothing to make even bat an eye.

Sean continued asking questions, Steve continued answering them.

On the seventh wing, Steve was barely distracted from the question: “What project of yours are you most looking forward to doing next?”

“I think I’ll be most excited to take some time off with my husband, working on starting the family we’ve wanted for a while. He’s been on tour for most of the last year, and we agreed it was a good time to figure out what we wanna do,” Steve said as he took another bite.

He could feel the burn of this one at least, felt the sting on his lips and tongue.

But it was very manageable, and the jalapeno flavor was almost refreshing. It tasted fresh.

“Okay, I have to ask: did you practice these beforehand?”

Steve snorted.

“No. I’m just not very sensitive to spicy foods. I usually keep a lot of hot sauces in my house. Poor Eddie’s learned how to tolerate spice because of it,” Steve said as they brought out the eighth wing.

“I’ve never had anyone so calm at this point. I’m starting to think even the hottest one won’t really bother you!”

“I guess we’ll see!”

The ninth wing was hot. He wouldn’t try to deny it.

“It does have a lovely watermelon flavor to it, very fruity and tangy on top of the spice. I like it,” Steve smiled.

He knew his face was getting a bit red from this one, and he reached for the water, but only had to take a couple of small sips before he was ready to keep going.

“Alright, for this one, we’ll ask a question for you to answer before and then we’ll have one for right after. You ready?”

“Bring it on!”

And it definitely did.

It was hot, and he could feel tears in his eyes, and sweat breaking out across his forehead.

“Finally, we have a reaction!” Sean exclaimed.

“This one’s definitely a lot more than the others,” Steve added, reaching for the milk.

He could tell Robin and Nancy were laughing, probably very much enjoying any amount of pain he managed to have when he went into this so sure that none of them would get to him.

“Final question: Would you ever consider retiring to follow Eddie on tour with your future family?”

Steve nodded once, taking another sip of the milk.

God, this one was hot.

“Uh, yep. I mean, retiring is a strong word. I would definitely take a long break. I’ve always wanted a family,” he stopped to take another sip and a bite of the celery. “I’ve wanted to be a dad for as long as I can remember. And I know Eddie wants that, but he also doesn’t wanna stop making music, and the rest of his band isn’t ready to take a break like that. I know it would be easy for me, so my plan would be to take at least a few years off.”

“Doing alright over there?”

Steve laughed, fanning his face.

“I’m okay. That just went from a kick to a beatdown pretty quick.”

“Well, you’re a pro at making it look easy. You deserve an Oscar for this performance!”

It was a ridiculous sentiment, but funny, and Steve was up for an Oscar this year.

He finished the glass of milk and shook Sean’s hand, thanking him for having him.

“Eddie is already in tears watching Sean watch you in disbelief,” Robin started as soon as he joined them again.

“What was all that at the end?” Nancy asked, arms crossed, face furious.

He usually had free reign in interviews, but he knew Nancy would tell him not to mention anything even slightly related to retirement.

His career had really only just taken off a couple years earlier, and talking about a break or retiring now would immediately cut his chances of good roles in half.

“Just the truth, Nance. You know Eddie and I wanna start a family,” he said as they started walking through the backstage area to leave.

“I just didn’t know that meant taking a break. I thought you’d just take turns with stuff or hire a nanny.”

Steve knew that worked for a lot of couples, but they both were too family-focused for that. They didn’t want a nanny raising their kids.

“Why are you freaking out?”

“I’m not! I just would’ve liked a heads up.”

Robin stared between them, eyes bouncing back and forth like it was a tennis match.

“I don’t have to tell you every single detail of my life. You know all that’s relevant right now.”

Nancy sighed, but nodded, turning away and typing furiously on her phone.

His phone rang seconds later.

“Sweetheart, let me just say: it is so sexy how you handle those hot sauces,” Eddie’s teasing voice was enough to get him back into a happy mood.

“Your standards for sexy are so low,” Steve said as he walked to the corner to get as much privacy as possible.

“No, it’s just that everything you do is sexy.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“But I’m yours.”

“And I’m yours.”

“Steve!” Sean’s voice came from behind him, large smile lighting up his face. “Sorry to bother you, but would Eddie and the guys like to come on the show as our bonus episode this season?”

Eddie was screaming yes through the phone, much to their amusement.

“So…yes?” Sean asked.

“Yes!” Eddie yelled.

Sean walked away to update the producer while Steve kept talking to Eddie.

“See? Now you’ll get your show, too.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

[bardic-inspirjaytion]

Why do you call your cat piss king? Is he really good at it or something?

hi anon!

we're gonna learn a bit about cat urinary systems and issues! it may be a bit TMI for the scope of the question but, given how few cat guardians know about this, I'm always looking for chances to educate since being informed can literally save a cat's life.

the main takeaway: if you notice that your cat cannot pee, HEAD TO THE EMERGENCY VET NOW, DO NOT PASS GO! full stop.

if they cannot pee, that is one of the few true emergencies in a healthy cat, and you NEED to treat it as such.

usually you'll see a blocked cat straining and vocalizing in the box, licking themselves, whining and highly reactive to being touched on the lower belly, and - of course - you won't see any proper urine in the box. there may be dribbles or blood, but no pee. this is a problem that escalates really fast, and can easily be lethal. do NOT fuck around with it.

what qualifies me to talk about this? it's exactly what happened to pekoe (peek for short) about three years ago.

proper Storytime and more detail below the cut.

see, the thing with cats is that their bladders are tiny and their kidneys are, uh, bad! so if they can't pee, not only is it incredibly painful, but the liquid and toxins building up in their system can do a LOT of organ damage in a VERY short amount of time. this can get very bad, very fast, and it is very easy for them to die from it if the issue can't be fixed easily and promptly.

usually, the vet will be able to get a catheter into the blocked cat to relieve the pressure, flush out their bladder if there's a physical blockage (ex, if they've made bladder crystals/stones, we gotta get those out of there!), and give them medication to prevent spasms and infection as they heal. a cat then needs to go on urinary-friendly food to prevent additional blockages for the rest of their lives, and some other lifestyle adjustments should be made to treat any underlying risk factors that the animal might have.

sometimes, however, that doesn't resolve the issue, and they block again. and if you're extra unlucky, they'll block AGAIN after that. and maybe again, for extra spice. if you're extra extra unlucky, this will all happen in the same week.

this is the situation that peek and i found ourselves in.

picture the urinary system of a cat as a funnel, with the external bits being the tip of the funnel. when you ultimately need to make a funnel bigger because it can't drain anymore, what do you do?

you remove the tip.

this is an operation called a perineal urethrostomy, or a PU for short. it's a last resort salvage procedure that essentially removes the external genitalia of a male cat to widen the exit of the urinary tract and prevent future blockages. it's a difficult and delicate operation with a very long recovery time. it was also the only option left to save peek's life.

real talk before this next bit: i will never judge pet guardians for impossible decisions made in good faith based on qualified medical advice, in the interest of trying to do what's best for their pets. flat up, i don't stand for that shit.

okay? cool, let's keep going.

a PU is definitely not a surgery that has any guarantees, it can be very painful, it needs a very skilled vet to do it, and it's both expensive and difficult to see an animal through it safely. it was also the one option we had left to save peek, who was very very VERY sick at that point. the vet told me that she was also willing to do euthanasia, if the PU was not right for us, with zero judgment - the little guy had been through a lot of pain and several surgeries already, and doing this operation would be asking a lot more from an animal that was already very weak, with no guarantees of success.

he was briefly stable so i took him home to think about it and sat with him overnight. hours in the darkened living room, with my fluffy best friend sleeping fitfully in my arms like a sick baby. in the morning when he woke up he gave me a little lick on the face, and then a headbutt with a weak but undeniably hungry little meow. he hadn't had an appetite in a week, but now he wanted breakfast. in that moment, i knew he was letting me know that he wasn't finished fighting yet, so i knew the right decision for me was to keep fighting for him.

i called the vet, and we went ahead with the surgery.

i'll spare you the rest of the grisly details - the procedure was a success, and i was lucky enough to be able to work remotely and nurse him through the recovery. it was long and difficult and stressful. it sucked! it was crazy making. i would break down weeping with relief every single time i saw a dirty litter box for WEEKS. if you're reading this and going through it yourself, please feel free to reach out to me any time, okay?

but we persevered. i took care of him, and he rallied like a goddamn king. and hey. anon. guess what?

that was almost three years ago. his life went fully back to normal after he healed. you wouldn't know that this had happened if you didn't already know, because that fluffy little king still pisses like a champion race horse.

so, that's the story of how pekoe became

THE PISS KING.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Since you have chinchillas, how good would be skeletons with chinchillas?

Thor and Mjöllnir approve this post.

Undertale Sans - He loves to just sit for hours looking them run everywhere. Papyrus is not too happy about the death of the wallpaper they turned to confetti, but Sans thinks it adds charm to the house. He hates a house looking too clean, and that's great because they are as clean as he is: not at all!

Undertale Papyrus - He's happy he has company during the long night when he's not sleeping. However, he never realized small animals like that could be even more chaotic than this annoying dog roaming the house, and sometimes even teaming up with it! He spends hours cleaning their mess, to the point it doesn't feel like Sans moved out, never lol.

Underswap Sans - They're matching his energy, he loves to play with them at night and even race with them in the corridors. He feels like he's turning into a chinchilla himself, tired the day and overexcited at night.

Underswap Papyrus - He never thought his first heartbreak would be because a chinchilla pushed his hand away while he tried to pet it but here he is. If soft, why not cuddly? Honey is devastated.

Underfell Sans - The best day of his life is that day when both him and his chinchillas teamed up to attack Doomfanger. They're maybe little, but they can defend themselves, and with his help, they're invincible. He finally takes his revenge on this damn cat. He showers his babies with treats afterward.

Underfell Papyrus - He thought Doomfanger was a snob but that was before he got chinchillas. He woke up his female a bit too fast and she threw pee at his face for all answer. Wow. He's in love.

Horrortale Sans - He realized he made a mistake after his chinchillas found a way to his headhole, the chinchillas decided it was the best game ever and now are obsessed with going in there. He tried to teach them to not do that but quickly realized that a chinchilla is training you, not the other way around. So he had to train himself to accept having a chinchilla in the head... Because they for sure don't take no for an answer.

Horrortale Papyrus - He never thought such small animals could be so stressful. Since chinchillas don't like heat, he spends his day monitoring the weather and kinda panics when it's too hot outside, to the point he feels like he's burning from the inside himself. Honestly? His chinchillas sleep all day and don't give a care in the world about how hard he's struggling to keep them cool. He hates summer so much.

Swapfell Sans - He's sipping a tea, a chinchilla on each shoulder, facing one of his tied rivals. What? You think they are not as scary as pit bulls or Doberman? Wait for them to prevent you from sleeping three nights in a row and we'll see if they're not so scary anymore. They're a menace. You stand no chance. If you persist, he makes them take their dust bath right in front of your face to blind you. Most dangerous creatures on Earth.

Swapfell Papyrus - They all have Pokemon names and he sends them in battle against random people (even if it's not really effective, even if it can summon cuteness aggression). You see, Rus couldn't adopt one or two. He adopted twenty of them. He has an army of Pokemons and he's unbeatable now. He walks around with all twenty of them hanging on his shoulders or in his pockets and he's not scared to use them. What are you even going to do to stop him?

Fellswap Gold Sans - He wouldn't do good. They're throwing hay and poop everywhere and he would have a mental breakdown just picking their poop over and over again. Since chinchillas poop around up to 240 times a day, he would explode after two hours.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He just wants a hug! Just one, please! But now, his chinchillas are giving him the cold shoulder, and refuses to stay on his knees for more than two seconds. Coffee is terribly frustrated, but he can't force them. So he just lays in bed, looking sad. Buy him a dog please.

[luxxtuxx]

Hobie SFW Alphabet

This is going to be based on the version of hobie I use in my stories

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) In public: He throws his arm over you, grabs your hand, or just sits close enough that your legs touch In Private: The man becomes a lapdog, unless you are working or showering, he is attached to your hip. You have multiple videos of him sleepy, being grumpy because you need to get up from the couch to go pee

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) He was just drawn to you, you became friends quickly and there was a lot of dancing around feelings

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) This man has two cuddle settings and unless you ask for otherwise that's it. He will either lay down on top of you and snuggle his head into your stomach and stay there or he will pick you up and hold you to his chest

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) He doesn't want to settle down because that's too much consistency, he is decent at cooking, but cleaning he is perfection due to his height it helps gets a bunch of dust on top of shelves

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) He would try to explain and be nice and peaceful with it

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) He doesn't want to be married, but sometimes he likes to imagine how pretty you'd be in a dress like that

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) Physically sometimes he forgets just how strong he is and when you guys rough house, he plays a little too rough. Emotionally he is great

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) He loves hugs, again when home he is a cat. but around people, he hugs you sparingly. He doesn't want people to think he is going soft

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) When he asked you out for the first time it was one of things out of his mouth.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) This dude gets jealous, and fast. Especially when guys he doesn't are touching on you. He once got jealous because Miguel handed you some candy for your birthday. He bites his tongue because he doesn't want to upset you though

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Hobie is a kissing addict when you are not around people, every two seconds there is a kiss somewhere. He loves to be kissed anywhere, but his lips, or the palms of his hands. He'll kiss you anywhere, but often it's the top of your head, your knuckles, or your stomach

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) He is great with children, he isn't sure how but mayday is in love with having playdates with you and 'UNCLE PUNK' (he may have cried the first time he heard that)

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) He won't let you leave bed unless you gotta go pee. His arms hold you tight and doesn't like getting up.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) He does face care with you and always makes sure you are comfy.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) If you weren't a spider person, once you two were serious, he would lay everything out on the table. He didn't want you to be hurt due to him not telling you

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Other people: He gets easy fast but normally can hide it You: He can't get angry at you if he comes home frustrated he always makes sure he calms down before talking to you so he doesn't accidentally snap at you

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) You are this man's whole world, He remembers almost everything, now some things will slip away but he remembers the important shit, like birthday, Starbucks order, fav animal, and stuff like that

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) Definitely the first time you slept over, Seeing you cuddled into his bed, with his hoodie covering you

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Oh Hell, he is protective, like super protective. When you are out on dates and you look super cute, he looks like the world's scariest human watchdog

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) 1000% He once accidentally snapped at pavi because pavi told him to relax and that you would love the flowers even if they were the wrong color

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) he forgets to do the chores you spilt like the dishes sometimes. he doesn't mean to he swears

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) He does not care, he will only try and be dressed up when you ask, like meeting your parents

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) If he is on a mission without you, he will speedrun the mission, because he just feels lonely without his angel of music around

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) He calls you any nickname in his head and you swear he has never called you something two times in a row.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?) He hates when you think lowly of yourself or when people disrespect you

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?) He can't sleep in quiet, so if you listen to music to sleep he is happy if you can't sleep with the noise he uses his earbuds

[silkclan]

Silkclans Starclan guide…

Maplepaw he/they

Careful

Constantly climbing

10 moons in life and 180 in death

TW: Animal/Child death and some tough real world pet problems

Maplepaw is an ancestor to Cinnamonstar, which is why he sticks so close to Silkclans territory.

Constantly worrying for Silkclans safety, when Tornshadow was alive they would constantly send visions or be just out of view in the background. Which often made her really angry.

In life Maplepaw would say he was happy, though that’s not clear when it’s been so long sense he lived. Maplepaw was born in a small cramped apartment of a cat breeder. Due to this he wasn’t as lucky as some of his siblings and had a lot of bad health conditions. Maplepaw never knew his parents well, and was taken from his siblings at a young age. Maplepaw was bought by a twoleg, where he was put inside a monster, traveling many miles. Suddenly he went from one apartment to the next. This twoleg den was much less cramped then the last, no cages lined the walls. Compared to his old home this new den was great, even when his twoleg left the house for a few days. Him and this twolegs deal seemed to be merely coexisting after the initial excitement and joys of having a new kitten. His twoleg would always coo at him for doing hardly anything, when it stopped they kind of missed it..But it was okay.

Days grew so tiring, his body ached for rest most the time and he wasn’t sleeping he was drinking or peeing on the floor. His twoleg would always yowl with disappointment but these days he couldn’t find much energy to feel any strong emotion about it. The twoleg seemed melancholy as they put him into the small box, it had bars on the front, he didn’t want to be in a cage again. He felt himself be lifted like he was on air. The box bumped and shook, vibrating with every moment he was inside. Maybe they were in a monster? Maybe.

A new apartment and then a new cold cage, I guess he was destined to feel the ache of his bones against the hard floor below him. It was so bright and loud, he wished to tuck themselves away into a soft nest of sleep. But how could he?

“Hey champ first time to the Cutter?” Oh, there were other cats here. He didn’t know how they didn’t notice those smells. “Is this..?” He weakly mewed. “Hahaha…yup, and if I were to guess they’re probably gonna poke and prod ya a bit.” what sounded like an older she-cat hoarsely chuckled. “Oh.. I hope not, I don’t think I’m up for that…” he trailed off. “I don’t think I’m up for much either champ.” The she-cat said more dejected this time. They sat in that silence of each other’s presence for so long yet so brief, though a metal wall divided them he felt as comforted as they would be sitting side by side. “You know my favorite thing about this weird life?” She said “The stars.” He could almost imagine the far off look in her eyes. “Stars…I’ve never seen those before.” “Well that just ain’t right.” She said almost like she’s was disappointed at some outside force.”They shine like the sun dappled on the rivers bed, atop a spanning blanket of night, far as your paws can take ya..” he had never seen a river either, he would like to see one. “If I were to drop dead tomorrow the last thing I’d want to see are those beautiful stars, that would be livi’n” she finished. “I’d like that to..”

After awhile the she-cat’s presence was gone.The silence wasn’t so lovely anymore.

I think..maybe he knew he was gonna die, as that single needle pricked the back of his scruff, the bright lights and noises fading. All fading into a dark night, He could see those beautiful stars, carry him away.

[insipid-drivel]

Tack And Upkeep: The Equine Influencer's Daily Routine

This is a continuation of my post, "Horses: Since There Seems To Be A Knowledge Gap". The first post I'm pretty satisfied addressed general horsie behavior and what's genuinely realistic in portraying horses, riding, and the relationships between horses and their riders that most people just plain don't know because you only learn it by working with them. The overall reception to the first post has been sincerely touching and inspiring from those of you who have shared and tagged or commented, so let's expand your knowledge some more! In this post, I'll be addressing the specific routines horses go through on a daily basis to be happy and healthy, and covering the different names and uses of tack.

Warning: This Is Going To Be A Very Long Post And So I've Placed A Readmore Below

Phase One: The Asscrack of Dawn

Horses are extremely high-maintenance and demanding animals when it comes to their routine upkeep. They're highly routine-focused, and will literally scream at the tops of their lungs if you're late in getting to the barn. If you think your cat is strict with their daily routines? It's because they learned it from horses, I'm 99% sure. My mom was once late as a teenager to getting to her horse and feeding him breakfast. He responded by picking the latch on his stall door, escaping from his paddock, and nosing his way past her bedroom window to whinny at her asleep in bed so she would get up and feed him. Like "I know where your stall is, too!"

Horses usually want to start the day in the pre-dawn hours. This is why stable hands and squires are essential throughout history. We adorn our eye crusties from rolling out of bed around 4am with oat dust as we head to the barn and first start with breakfast while you're able to stay in bed and sleep in time to get to work without being so sleep-deprived you walk into your car door instead of getting inside it.

So, what do horses like to eat anyway?

-Hay: The generic Wheaties of the horse world. Hay is a mix of dried grasses and healthy herbs meant for general munching and snacking on when the horse is in their stall or otherwise has no access to a pasture for grazing. They tend to be pretty "meh, okay" on being presented with hay, which we stable hands deliver in wheelbarrows and go from stall to stall filling each horse's individual feed bucket/trough. Hay and straw are not the same. Straw isn't very edible for livestock, and is almost exclusively used for insulation and bedding instead of food.

-Alfalfa, aka Clover flakes:

(source)

Alfalfa flakes, or clover flakes as I'm used to saying, are a sweet-smelling, green bale of lightly dried and compressed alfalfa and clover. The bale itself can be broken up into flat, square "flakes" that we often present to horses like treats. The flakes can either be placed on the ground in the stall (not recommended; they poo and pee there), or in a loose net, open-topped grid, or some other form of mounted feeder they can comfortably snack on. The flakes themselves smell very sweet, herbal smell that was always my favorite when I was a stable hand.

-Oats: Oats are kind of the treat of treats for horses, and are carefully measured and controlled when it comes to portioning. Horses tend to love oats so much that, if allowed to, they will literally eat until their stomachs rupture and die. Every barn and every horse has different dietary needs, such as ratios for oats vs. alfalfa vs. hay in order to keep them healthy.

-Molasses: Horses absolutely love sugar, but molasses in particular is something they go crazy for. When I was learning to barrel race and was establishing my working relationship with my Quarterhorse, Chip, my mom would help me out by making homemade horse treats consisting of rolled oats, molasses, and chopped up bits of apple that I'd slip to him when it was time for me to bring him his breakfast.

-Apples: The stereotype is true that horses adore apples, carrots, and other safe-to-eat fruits and veggies. But again, we treat these like actual treats, since they wouldn't be something a horse could safely eat in large quantities without developing stomach and intestinal problems.

-Thistles:

(source)

Horses go absolutely hogwild for thistles like the ones that grow in Scotland, Ireland, England, and Wales. They're a common sight along a lot of roads in the US nowadays, too, and while they're spiky as hell to us, horses are kinda like giraffes in that they have very tough mouth and tongue tissues designed to be tough against thorny and rigid vegetation. If you happen to be a fan of artichokes (also thistles), you may understand why horses get so excited to eat the little purple flowering ones! They're just yummy to 'em.

A very good rule of thumb to follow when it comes to writing up a rough feeding routine for your OC's horse, think of the natural ratios of food a wild horse would find. They would mostly eat grasses, with limited access to grains and fruits, and alfalfa/clover only tends to grow in large patches compared to the way grass likes to spread everywhere, so even the alfalfa would be lower on the list of most-eaten foods for a horse. As for stuff like thistles; those are treats even among horses. Stable hands will put up with a lot of literal horseshit, but the horses can forage for thistles themselves.

Phase Two: Bathtime

Now, routines can vary, but in my experience, the horses tend to be more relaxed and cooperative for cleanup time after they've been given breakfast, but every owner runs their barn differently.

The first thing we do is put a halter on. This is a halter:

(source)

The difference between a halter and a bridle is a bit like the difference between a sports bra and a steel-boned corset: One you can stand to sleep in if you have to, while the other is there for good looks and tight control. Most horses don't mind wearing a halter 24/7, while others are crafty enough to figure out how to rub their heads against a tree/fence/stable door to slip their halter off.

It is possible to ride with a halter instead of a bridle, but you basically have to be willing to trust the horse with your life/are learning to ride bareback (although even bareback riders will often still use a halter or bridle for their own safety, and to control the horse when they're not riding it). 99% of the time, the halter is just there to help us stable hands guide and direct the horse to where we need them to be, with the rings on the halter used for clipping things like ropes to them to control the horse's head:

(source)

The above image is a good idea of how we "control" the horse's head. In the barns I worked at, we usually took the horses to a hitching spot just outside of the tack room to keep them warm inside while we prepped them for the day.

Once the horse is comfortable and properly controlled in place, it's first time to "swamp out" the stall behind them! A horse's stall only stays clean when the horse isn't in it, and so every time you're preparing to take the horse out or put them in their stall, it's essential to clean the stall first. This means shoveling poo and soiled straw and hosing down the stall floor (most modern barns these days keep heavy rubber mats on the stall floors to keep the horses warmer and more comfortable in general), distributing fresh straw for them to sleep in, refilling water buckets, and topping off hay feeders. Once all that's done, we turn our attention to the horse.

Bathtime Stage 1: The Gear

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The diagram above is a bit fussy and more meant for show horses, but it gives the gist of what all we use to make sure the horses have their best glam day, every day. We'll often keep our grooming tools in designated bags or buckets that just make keeping track of our tools a lot easier than getting them one at a time.

ADVISORY: NEVER WALK BEHIND A HORSE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRUST AND LOVE THEM! The biggest etiquette no-no you can commit when practicing horse safety and working with horses is to walk behind them. Horses have nearly 360 degree vision, with their only blind spots being directly in front of and directly behind them. When you're in a horse's blind spot, if it's spooked in any way with its head restrained, its first response will be to kick. A kick from a horse can absolutely be lethal depending on how big the horse is, where they hit you, and how hard they kick. A horse will easily kill you by breaking your skull if their back hoof impacts your head. To avoid being kicked by a horse if you have no other way to get around them, you literally hug their butt with your body while scooching around to the side you need to get to. Only once you're clear of the horse's back hooves can you un-hug that booty and step away. That way, if the horse does decide to kick, they're more likely to scoop you up on their legs and knock you aside than pummel you with an iron-soled fist made of thumbnails compressed to be hard enough to crush a wolf's skull.

Bathtime Stage 2: Brushies!

Now, brush time is usually happy time for the horse! It feels good and is very much like stimming for them. On more than one occasion, I've actually had horses doze off and start snoring while standing up as I was brushing them because they were having such a nice time. It's a myth that horses always sleep standing up like cows do; they usually hunker down in their piles of straw and curl up like even bonier borzois, but they can nap standing up. And yes, horses can and do snore! They can fart hilariously loud, too. I've never heard such thunderous cheek-clapping as when I've heard horses farting.

Generally speaking, the body-brush we use is called the "dandy brush" in the above diagram, but I was always used to calling it the "bristle" brush, because they're usually made with the bristles taken from wild boar hides to make them. We generally brush their bodies with the dandy brush for as long as our arms can hold out, because you never can get all the dirt and shed hair out when you're brushing a horse, and we're going to bathe them anyway.

Some horses don't like having their faces brushed, and don't usually need it unless they actually have gotten dirty. That's when we use the face brush, which is much narrower with denser, yet slightly softer bristles for working out mud spots and dirt without irritating the horse's skin. I, personally, would only spot-clean visible dirt, and then use a small washcloth during bathtime to give horses a face wash.

A "curry comb" is just a brush with very thick, firm pegs or wire bristles that's meant for breaking apart thick cakes of mud matting in the horse's hair. Horses instinctively like to roll in mud and dirt as a natural way of keeping pets like flies away and to keep cool in the heat - especially after they've just been bathed and prepped for a show goddammit - and so they can come in from the pasture pretty heavily caked in mud, and proud of it. Curry or wire combs just help break up dried mud and loosen it from the horse's skin so it's easier to wash out.

Combing a horse's mane and tail are also essential to their care, just like it's important to care for your hair on a regular basis to keep it from matting and getting yucky. Their manes and tails tend to be very, very wiry and stiff, and it can be surprisingly tricky to work out tangles and knots. Along with a very sturdy steel comb, sometimes we'll use something like coconut oil - which is safe for their skin and if they ingest it - like a natural leave-in conditioner to help us work out bad tangles without hurting the horse. Braiding a horse's mane and tail is highly traditional, especially in folklore from the British Isles. To this day, legend says that if you find your horse's mane and tail braided overnight one day, the faeries snuck into the barn and did it as a show of favor!

There's actually a huge link between horses and Celtic folklore that's really fun to explore, but that's another post.

Stage 3: Hoof Picking

While stable hands and riders aren't necessarily trained to trim a horse's hooves, we do keep their feet and legs healthy through regular "picking". Maintaining a horse's hooves is how you can directly protect them from injury and illness, and is probably the most important part of a stable hand's job in prepping a horse for the day.

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Horseshoes are always crafted to sit on the very outermost edges of the bottom of a horse's hoof, as that's where their feet spend the most time impacting the ground as they walk. As you look inward, their hooves actually have hollow spaces in the bottom like the arches to the sole of a person's foot. The person in the above photo is using a hoof pick to gently scrape out dirt, mud, rocks, and any other bad stuff that can get gunked up in those hollow spots.

In my experience, horses are often trained to lift each leg on command for picking-time by either a verbal command, or a gentle squeeze to the tendon on the leg you want them to lift. For most of my working time, the signal was two light squeezes on the back of the leg.

Once a horse lifts their leg up for picking, it's easier for people who have limited physical strength to straddle either side of the horse's bent leg, facing away from the horse's face, and help keep the hoof held up with one hand while picking and cleaning it out with the other. While we're picking, we're looking closely for anything that could hurt the horse later. The #1 worst thing to find in a horse's hoof is a rusty nail, which are very, very common around a farm setting, and can cause a serious and life-threatening infection if it's able to pierce the horse's foot. We also check for any smells or visual signs that the horse is injured or hurting.

Regarding horseshoes and nail trims: It's pretty uncommon for your everyday stablehand to trim your horse's hooves. A significant, yet essential, cost for any horse owner is maintaining a ferrier, or horse foot specialist, whose main job is to maintain a horse's feet. Many nowadays are also equipped to make and fit their own horseshoes on-site for if your horse "casts a shoe" (has a horseshoe come loose and fall off), so they can fit them with a new one at the same time as they're trimming up their nails. I met one ferrier that actually had a miniature forge in the back of his work truck. It was awesome watching him work.

Stage 3: The Bath Begins

For the sake of their long-term health, most working ranches will see to it that their horses are bathed daily - sometimes multiple times - just like giant dogs. Horses that aren't ridden every day or are otherwise kept more like pets don't typically need as much bathing, but you should never put tack on a dirty horse. Horses don't have fur; they have hair like humans do, and so we use special horse-formulated shampoos and conditioners for bathtime, even in winter when it's so cold your hands go numb carrying in the water buckets.

I've never encountered a horse that was bothered by cold water, but that's because I live in a region that gets very cold winters, and I always bathed horses inside the barn where it was warm on days where it was very cold out. Some horses will refuse to cooperate unless they have tepid or warm water to bathe with (or will only allow a cold water bath if it's already very hot outside), and you have to be careful when around their legs and feet, since they'll sometimes stomp their legs from the sensation of water dripping off them.

For the most part, you only need to wash a horse from neck to backside, and down their legs, and you want to get them wet with their bathwater first before you apply any shampoo. Then, gently rub/massage with a soft sponge or grooming gloves until caked-on mud gives way and the shampoo starts to really lift away dirt and grime. We always wash manes and tails, but we never use shampoo or soap on their faces! Like I said before, a soft, damp cloth and regular water is usually all that's needed to bathe a horse's face.

Blow-drying horses isn't usually something I'm used to seeing, as they don't tend to appreciate the noise. Microfiber towels, or even just regular paper towels, combined with a sweat scraper are usually enough to get the horse comfortable and able to air-dry the rest of the way. After the excess water is gone is when coat conditioners or skin moisturizers are applied, and if a horse needs to stay pretty before a show or event, it's not unusual to line their stalls with wood shavings instead of straw beforehand. Wood shavings wick away the moisture they want to roll off, and are also pretty easy to brush off before it's showtime.

Phase Three: Tacking Up

I'm going to break this up into two examples: English, and Western style tack. There is an absolutely massive array of different kinds of tack all over the world, but the most common forms of riding and tacking in the Western world are English and Western, and I'll be comparing the tack used in both.

Blankets:

English Saddle Blanket:

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Western Saddle Blanket:

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Blankets or saddle pads are essential to riding! Saddle blankets/pads help protect the saddle - which are universally Not Cheap - from the horse's sweat, dirt, and shed hair, the blanket itself also protects the horse from developing sores on their backs from the friction of the rider moving in the saddle. Generally speaking, the very first thing we grab when it's time to tack up the horse is the blanket or pad that goes under the saddle.

The essential aesthetic difference between Western and English blankets is mainly that: aesthetics. Western blankets tend to be a lot bigger and almost always rectangular, made of a heavy material like wool or alpaca fleece, and bearing some kind of flashy pattern woven into the blanket itself - the most common styles being either made by or reminiscent of local Native American art styles. An English blanket or pad is either much smaller (again, a key to the aesthetic of the English riding style is subtlety), can be made of smoother and lighter fabrics, and can even even cut specifically to fit beneath the saddle with as little excess material showing as possible.

Speaking of, a lot of indigenous groups in America sell things like hand-woven saddle blankets at shows, farmer's markets, and online as a way of supporting their community! There's nothing wrong with you, as a non-Native American, buying from a community that's willingly selling to you, and it's a great way to help both show them monetary support as well as show off their work to other potential customers. Horse-people talk a lot about where they get their gear!

Western vs English Saddles:

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As you may be able to see, Western saddles are a lot more complicated than English saddles, mostly because they're designed for different types of riding.

English saddles, and English riding, is usually considered the typical "fancy rich people horse show" riding style, and the most common things done with that riding style is something commonly called "showing". Western riders tend to practice more competition-based, sports-centered riding, while English riding is more about showing off you and your horse's grace, etiquette, and bearing, and it's usually the horse that gets the most scrutiny out of the judges; being assessed for the quality of their gait and their precision and speed in completing tasks like a jumping obstacle course.

As a result, English saddles don't have that many bells and whistles to them, and generally tend to be designed to be as light and unassuming as possible. As I've said before, I've never liked English riding, because I feel fragile in the saddle and like I can't really get stable to go fast, as I am a speed freak in the saddle.

Western saddles were designed to be tough, heavy, stand up to a lot of abuse, and give the rider plenty of room on the horse's back to move around and work. Western saddles are built to be less likely to slide off the center of the horse's back if the rider has to lean hard on one stirrup (such as to shoot a gun sideways or lasso a sprinting cow before it can barrel off the side of a gully and get itself killed). The iconic horn is largely used for holding things like coils of rope, and it's considered a Western riding etiquette no-no to cling to the horn for stability. The horn is not there to stabilize you. It's there to keep your hands free.

The stirrups are also very different. A Western style stirrup needs to be much thicker underneath the rider's foot in order to give the rider a better platform to stand on, as well as more static friction (yeah, physics is involved in this stuff) to keep them stable in the saddle when the horse is moving very fast or very aggressively while they're also doing their own thing on the horse's back. The extra long fenders compared to the English knee pad are also there to help keep the saddle itself, which can weigh up to 60lbs/27kgs, centered so it doesn't slide and dump the rider off!

English stirrups are more there to slot into the heel of a riding boot, which always have a tiny bit of a heel regardless of whether it's designed for a male foot or a female one, as the heel serves an active purpose for the riding process rather than being there for fashion. Riding boots are designed with a channel in the heel to more securely and comfortably align with the stirrups, and don't need to be very thick or tremendously sturdy to heavy use, as English riding is more about showing off the skill and communication between the rider and the horse with as few flaws as possible vs. something more sports-oriented like target shooting, where the judges are factoring in your accuracy:speed ratio.

The Dreaded Cinch:

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Depending on the rider and the style, a saddle can have either one or two cinches (leather belly straps). The frontmost strap usually fits behind the horse's front legs, out of the way where it could cause the horse any harm while running, and often comes with a pad to keep the strap from chafing the skin, and to help keep the front portion of the saddle centered. Most horses don't mind that strap, as it just needs to be tight enough to fit.

What every horse I've ever met hated is the center belly cinch, which is the primary cinch for a lot of riders. It's critical to keeping you, the rider, alive on horseback, but it's one of the least fun sensory experiences for the horse due to how tightly it needs to be drawn to keep the saddle steady regardless of speed. Some horses will inflate their bellies to look fatter while you're tightening the cinch up to try and trick you into leaving it a notch or two too loose. It doesn't actually hurt them to have the cinch properly tightened; they just find the sensation annoying and can get mischievous if they're having a lazy day.

After the belly cinch is tightened, if you share your saddle (such as if you're taking classes and rent the tack that goes on your horse), you also want to adjust the length of the stirrups to properly suit the length of your legs. If you own your saddle and aren't getting any taller or shorter, this is usually a skippable part because you've already done it a while ago.

Bridles:

Once again, there are different kinds of bridles for different uses! There are bitless bridles, like this:

Reasons for using bitless bridles can vary. A bridle with a bit usually doesn't do any harm to the horse while providing more control to the rider over where the horse is going with its head. Horses that spook easily, are prone to misbehaving, or just aren't very thoroughly trained yet are usually trained on bridles with bits in order so the rider can take control of the horse's head and better guide them in the direction they need to go.

Bitless bridles are naturally more comfortable for the horse, since nothing has to go in their mouths, and allows for them to do things like graze freely if you're riding them out in pastures and spaces where you're likely to take breaks from riding in places where food is growing. Horses with sensory issues, that were late in being trained to ride, or that have dental problems a bit would irritate tend to do better with bitless bridles, but the rider themselves have to be willing to sacrifice that extra control and trust the horse more.

What are bits for and what types are there?

The main bit types I've seen most in my experience are Snaffle Bits.

Snaffle Bits:

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As you can see, there are quite a few varieties of snaffle bits. In horse terminology, snaffle bits are considered "severe" bits, although they don't actually do any harm to the horse. "Severe" is more meant to describe the level of control and rigidity the bit provides to the rider compared to the level of freedom the horse has when they're riding together. Most horses are trained on and completely fine with snaffle bits, and if they do have any issues, the owner can switch types to see if the horse is more comfortable with a different type.

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With bits, their primary uses are to communicate with and direct the course of the horse's head when the rider pulls on or relaxes the reins in their grip. Some horses can be very flighty and need the help of a sturdy bit that has the potential of pinching the corners of their lips if the rider has to pull too hard to get them under control in the event of a scare. For other horses that don't need as much correction or situational control, they respond best to the sensation of the metal's pressure even on their tongue and lower jaw and move in the direction they feel the metal press the most firmly in their mouth.

Bits do not automatically destroy a horse's teeth. What a lot of people who haven't worked with horses aren't totally conscious of is that horse's jaw looks like:

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Between their frontmost teeth and molars, there's a huge gap where there's nothing but free space, and a bridle's bit is usually so small compared to the space the horse naturally has in its mouth that they can often comfortably graze and drink water with the bit still in, although some will try their hardest to spit the bit out when they want to eat, but that's more of a preference than a pain issue. Their front teeth are used for plucking food out of the ground (or biting the shit out of your unsuspecting stable hand's love handle when they're distracted), and they use their tongues to guide the food back toward their molars to chew. Experienced horses can often figure out how to eat around the bit still in their mouths, but they don't like it, and nice riders will take the bit out (you can do this without removing the bridle) when they're not needed so the horse can have its mouth back.

My character is in from riding. What's the routine like after you're done?

Firstly, if the horse is very hot and still huffing and puffing from all the work/running it's been doing, we'll swap their bridles out for halters, put them on a leading rope:

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Which, yes, can be tied into a bridle if you aren't a raging lazy ass like I was if you have the right type of rope, and then we'll take the horse on a cool-down walk in the paddock or a covered arena.

Like joggers and other heavy-exercisers, it's essential for the health of the horse's heart to help them slowly wind back down from working themselves into a literal sweat for so their heart rate gently returns to a lower pace. Stopping an overheated and overworked horse cold can actually be more stressful on them than if you take them for a slow, steady walk (sometimes just in circles until they slow down to a stop on their own), until they're steady and relaxed enough to be ready to tack down, brush out, and either let them back out to the paddock to roam, or put them to bed in their stall for the night with some fresh food and water. Their hooves are re-picked and checked again for any signs of damage or wear, and if they're especially sweaty, may need some towel-off time with a sweat-scraper and actual towels or fistfuls of straw.

The final, most important part of the day:

Spending quality one-on-one time with the horse with no tack, no riding, and no fussing around with work. Horses love to play, they crave affection and attention, and are extremely intelligent and curious. They get zoomies. They can be complete dorks. They can be love-bugs. They can even be protectors. They love following their favorite people around and watching what they're doing, and even try to involve themselves somehow (usually by flagrant acts of hat/jacket theft). They can get bored and destructive like puppies and kittens. If they're lonely for you and you haven't visited in a while, they'll chew on the edge of their fence to comfort themselves - it's called "cribbing".

You know those videos showing quirky families that live with a horse in their house part-time or full-time? That's not that unrealistic for horses at all. They're highly social, and prefer to sleep and live in close groups. They love to be pet and scratched, and often will try to reciprocate shows of cuddling and affection the best they can.

When a horse loves their rider, riding becomes fun for them both! When there's a real bond between them, the tacking and riding process can all be part of what the horse perceives as play and bonding time. Horses that are trained to do handle other sports, such as horseback sharpshooting, barrel racing, racing in general, polo, and the like can also genuinely enjoy the sports they play like human athletes!

[cappuccino-bear]

Cats, noses, smelling and how my rewrite uses biology to do interesting things

Aka: here's musk babyyyy

When I started thinking of writing xenofiction I wanted to look at how animals, cats in this case, live the world. The first thing that I though of were senses: how do they differ from us?

Reading Warriors, I noticed the cats would often scent or smell things, but looking into real cats, I would see some misconceptions in how the book handled this whole side of cat life. And just putting it in as it is in real life would be cool... but how could I make it better?

Long story short, I came up with a nifty idea based on how cats' noses work: musk.

To explain it better, and show you why I think I made a pretty useful concept, I'll go through these points:

1- Warrior Cats and scent marking

2- a cat's nose and "hidden nose"

3- "layers" of smelling

4-  musk and blood

Click under the readmore to check this!

1- Warrior Cats and scent marking

Aka the Erins are too cowardly to say that cats piss.

If you have any knowledge about cats, you know that their pee is super smelly and they rub on things leaving their smell anywhere. This is because, in the wild, many animals like cats use "scent markings" to denileate their territory, letting their smell be what tells prey, rivals, and other predators that that general place is their zone. It's not the only way to mark a territory, but cats do this so we'll focus on this.

Warrior Cats, in the books, go on patrols to refresh their scent markings... except it's never stated what they even do. What is a scent marking for a warrior? We can assume it's urine and rubbing on trees with their scent glands, but the books themselves never even say it. In fact, the books rarely think of cats as more than tiny quadrupedal humans, which inevitably makes you wonder if it even is scent marking in the "traditional" way.

Personally, with how they're written, I think it'd make more sense if they delineated territory with paint or flags or signals of some kind but I digress.

But scent is so important to cats! It's arguably half of the way they investigate the world! Yet warriors, other than smelling the other clans, or prey, or scent markings, rarely ever describe what's around them through their smell.

One of, in my opinion, the stupidest concepts for Warriors, if you look at them as cats, is the dirtplace, basically an open aired latrine right by their camp where they live. While cats tend to pee in the same places, it's not ONE place, unless you have a pet and give them a litterbox that you clean regularly. Even then, it's recommended for multiple cats in the same household to have separate litterboxes.

Side tangent 1.1- the dirtplace is stupid.

It's an open aired latrine that nobody cleans. I can give you five reasons off the top of my head why it's a bad idea:

1- the camp is next to a pile of shit so everything will smell like shit the moment the wind picks up.

2- if someone is sick someone else might get the same disease just from going to the dirtplace after them.

3- so. Many. Flies. That also could carry disease.

4- a predator, which the cats deal with often enough, will smell it from a mile away and will know that there is a giant group of cats that might or might not become a perfect snack. Or even an enemy warrior trying to launch an attack just needs to follow the poop smell to find the camp!

5- if they do their business there then what the heck are scent markings???

Even without following this whole post beat for beat as instructions of how to write, at least consider removing the idea of a singular dirtplace near camp. Do it for me. Lil old me. You can make it multiple ones around the territory, or a stream so it gets washed away, or even use scent markings and everything else that comes with it.

So, when I started rethinking it, I decided to focus first on what the sense of smell is like for a cat.

2- a cat's nose and "hidden nose"

Cat noses are not just the little leathery triangle we see! There's a reason cat's olfactory sense is 9-16 times higher than humans!

(Noses in general are pretty interesting in my opinion. Even in humans. What do you mean you use it to taste.)

Just through a quick googling and reading the first articles on the matter (so very little effort), I can tell you cat noses have a lot more olfactory epithelium (the internal tissue of a nose) than humans. They also divide the airflow between air and smell particles, which are then divided in even more ducts, making the smelling part super efficient by essentially dividing the task between different nose tunnels and through their 200 million olfactory receptors. For a comparison, humans have 5 million.

Then, there's the "hidden nose", the Jacobson's organ or vomeronasal organ, which specifically detects pheromones when cats pull their lips up a little, in a process called Flehmen response. This is the magic stuff, they can detect different pheromone scents super accurately because they have an entire organ just for that!

This also makes their nose incredibly sensitive to diseases and bad air agents. Smoke especially is super deadly to cats, so keeping that in mind I think cats who survive a fire might still have their nose impacted severely.

Also, this means that a cat not being able to smell is even more of a disability than for humans. Humans with anosmia already have problems like not being able to taste or recognize potentially dangerous substances like smoke or rotten food. It's maybe not as life threatening as other disabilities, but smell impacts our day to day lives without us noticing. Imagine not being able to smell ever, even the good things, and you might already invision a bleak life. Then put on top of that not being able to tell if the air is moldy in a room so keep sleeping in it, putting your lungs in danger.

Cats are this but tenfold. Not being able to tell apart other cats from friend or foes, not knowing where scent markings are, not smelling a dangerous fox nearby, not being able to track prey, not immediately knowing if you're sick or not.

This is not a disability specific post but yeah I think you understand why I put cat smell in high regard as a sense, even more than touch prehaps.

3- "layers" of smelling

So when we think of a smell for cats we could describe it in two layers: the ambient scents, like plants, or the ground, or water etc., and then the pheromones of other living creatures, from prey to pedator to fellow cats.

I know plants also release pheromones but I wanna think that they're different to other organisms' ones. I could be wrong tho.

When I imagine a cat in the forest goes to smell something, I think that they mostly smell the ambient smells until they lift their lips in the Flehmen response, then they can smell mostly pheromones. This means that a cat could "choose" which types of scent they're looking for by using their "hidden nose" or not.

No I am not calling it Jacobson's organ or vomeronasal organ in my explanation, hidden nose is funnier.

This also means that cats themselves can have layers of smells! Their pheromone smell and the smells they picked up around, for example by walking around in the forest, or getting wet, or rolling in a patch of lavender will both be "theirs", but one comes from their enviroment and one comes from the cat themselves.

4- musk and blood

This is where I Warriorify this concept into something I can write with and implement in the culture!

A cat's pheromone smell is what I'm gonna call musk, like a personal scent that a cat has and that varies from one cat to another.

Musk to a cat is almost the same as a name: it's so subjective that you can recognize someone else through it alone. And while all cats have different musks those variations are lesser and lesser the more the cats are related. Humans kinda have that too, have you ever entered a house and it just has a different smell than your own?

When I put blood in the title of the chapter, it's because I realized that this can be an explanation for something that I think is pretty important in canon: recognizing relatives. Cats rarely talk of their family, especially in the first books, and in the later ones the families are so muddled it becomes a mess. So I though, what if they can just tell if they're related in some way? So musks are somewhat "shared" by families, where they'll always smell similar. I think they think it's because they have similar blood to their relatives.

I will also make it so cats are inherently attracted to others with a distinctly different musk, where they'd rather not mate with someone with a similar musk, even if they don't know they're related.

And Clans will have different smells because of what they eat and their enviroment, but the musk of a cat is unchanged from their enviroment. Smelling an enemy warrior will come with both their musk and their clan scent, so even if you don't know their name, you'll know if they're Riverclan or Shadowclan just by smelling!

Scent marking, therefore, becomes more personal, because a cat with a good nose might be able to tell apart each and every cat in a border patrol by their musk in the scent markings. It might even be cool to have it be an intimidation tactic: if an enemy patrol comprised of some random young warriors strays over their side of the border it's probably a taunt, but if strong warriors, or even the leader, leaves their musk there? It might be even more serious.

Also, with the whole blood smelling similar thing: it could come up that some cats from different clans smell strikingly similar, so this could set off alarm bells... but I wanna think that the ambient scent of a cat can cover the musk a bit, making it seem similar but not exactly the same. A cat that only eats fish will probably smell of fish despite their musk, so that could cover what similarities it has to another cat's own.

(Still, I think it'd be funny to have Bluestar try to dodge sitting close to her biological children because then someone might just recognize they smell the same lol.)

Conclusion: cats are smelly, nature is smelly, I'm just leaning into it for my own ideas!

Sources:

https://neurosciencenews.com/cat-olfaction-23557/

https://www.rover.com/blog/how-far-can-cats-smell/

https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/smell-disorders