#Cause it is clear they keep their secrets and like their lies and manipulation

[forgottenwyrm]

me when Caledonia's concepts first dropped cause i doing a good playthrough: she's good. Probably chaotic good a bleeding heart maybe

Me as I get deeper into dragon lore and white dragons and every headcanon: oh no she's spiteful she's funny she can be mean she can be influenced and persuaded either way, chaotic neutral, easily tipped scale in either way based on who she ends up with during tadpole days, a true blank slate but there is some pre written, likes humor but also vengeful, spite what wrongs her or wrongs you, prideful

Its fun. Honestly. She's silly and very cerebral in thought still. Still friendly. Like.you can't take that out, but like she really does not view certain things on a morality scale.

Doesn't necessarily do evil for evil sake or gain of power. Doesn't necessarily want control, but like if you were a problem to her or someone she liked. You could end up dead. Doesn't necessarily do good or search out to the greatest amount of goodness.

Now she does like faerun as is, so she'll take action to keep things the way they are, or if they disturb the peace of her life or the people, again, that she likes. So good characters will influence her to do things cause well they'd be happy about it. Just as if evil characters, well, yeah the same can be applied.

There is a certain thing about as long as she maintains a sense of control over herself and power in a friendship or relationship; she's fine and will do just about anything. But like she is always affectionate in the same way toward either kind of party.

True Caledonia run if I played the game, if you removed the level system, like she'd skip so much of Act One if she was leading. If she made all the decisions. Like the Grove dies because she doesn't even go to goblin camp. She'd end up at the githyanki cutscene and go straight to creche. Skipping like so much. She'd do the bare minimum of Act Two.

Act Three. It's just immediately like okay. Fuck up orin immediately. Fuck up gortash immediately. She'd try to save as many in iron throne just cause. Boy she doesn't like this thing called cages. Or anyone being captive. Like she's a kill or let go. Take no prisoners.

But like in the end? All of this? Ends up solidifying her true nature as dragon. Causs they don't just do anything without a reason, without usually someone persuading them to this action. She goes after the Dragon Cult cause one guy from it personally wronged her and now it'd all bad, which I mean it is an evil cult, and she doesn't feel beholden to any God.

Its very fun, finding what stays the same, but realizing how flexible Caledonia is to based on literally who she is written against.

But also like there is a whole personal story with her too, and her memories and The Tiefling; who admittedly was doing evil for her father's sake and maybe her own, who did have a major crisis cause she got attach to the captive dragon she's known since she was five; and really the core of Caledonia is tied to; she realized she cared deeply for this tiefling, like a big sister; but she doesn't know what would honor her memory most; and feels survivor's guilt; so she keeps wearing her face cause it is her face now. And if the tiefling couldn't live, then she'll live for her; at least for a little while.

But she doesn't actually know what would truly honor who the tiefling was or what the tiefling would make decisions (which the tiefling would have done evil route but coming from a place of being literally raises this way and in an abusive cycle herself)

And, just I can't wait to write more on the tiefling and drabble of caledonia's memories aprund her years captive, and the tiefling girl talking and caring for her. And the ways in which Caledonia grows to be persuades and manipulated by the tiefling girl in a way and cares / like Caledonia absolutely went on hunger strikes while being chained and kept under a concoction of so many spells and then drained for her dragon blood; and the tiefling girl convinces her to eat.

But like, Caledonia has been so fun write cause she is an exploration of "how influences make a person" I hope this all reads well in my writing and creation, and everyone enjoys the character.

[fazedlight]

Why am I obsessed with the rift?

From my first fic to the many many many many season 5 fics I've written, to the fic where the whole thing could've been averted in season 2, to my no-villain-era-for-Lena in season 3 (twice) and season 4 fics......... I seem to have developed a bit of a rift pattern.

A reasonable person might ask: Why?

There's something that itches in my mind: I think either woman would've been fully justified in walking away from their friendship, and yet they ultimately didn't.

It starts with Kara, who is ultimately a fractured person. She deeply values the truth, and yet she's forced to live with various lies, unable to be her full self.

Her identity is in the in-betweens. She feels adrift between two cultures, she knows her alien state while reaping the privilege of passing, she hides core aspects of herself on a daily basis. I'm sucked into the rift, in part, because of who she is and how she struggles to put it all together. I think her frustration will resonate with anyone who's stuck in the in-betweens.

Kara's struggle for identity plants the seed for the rift. The bigotry of society meant she had to have a secret identity in the first place, and keeping the secret from Lena was certainly reasonable for a time.

We can debate endlessly about when Kara should've told Lena - I think it's really hard to find the line between "too soon" and "too late" - but it ultimately doesn't matter. Because it's Kara's kneejerk reaction to Lena's kryptonite that forms the first sort of betrayal, not the secret itself.

Kara screws up - she says something she regrets, she doubles down when threatened and scared. These are common mistakes... but we have super-level circumstances, so we get super-level consequences. And the engine she has inside her that fears loss (which she's suffered to a level that is unimaginable to anyone on Earth) kicks in. She can't lose another person she loves.

But who is she holding onto?

In the series, and in flashbacks, we watch Lena's progression from idealistic techie to cynical recluse. While she's experienced loss and isolation, that's not the cause of her shift.

It's in experiencing her idol and protector become the madman who kidnaps her. It's in realizing her best friend has betrayed her by taking the one thing that could've saved her brother. It's in moving to a new city to start over, and meeting a mentor who uses her to start a global invasion. It's in her partner in scientific discovery being a pawn to her brother, colluding behind her back.

And then there's the final downfall. Her new best friend - her trusted confidant, her hero, the one who made her feel not so alone anymore - is the super who denigrated her, maligned her, spied on her. Lena had two important people in her life at that point, and she sacrificed one for the other... only to find out the other was a lie.

With betrayal after betrayal - Lex and Andrea and Rhea and Eve and Kara - she loses faith that anyone is above their worst impulses.

So she falls to her own.

How can good people do bad things?

There's a saying I heard around MIT sometimes: there are no technical solutions to social problems. It's easy to forget - when you're surrounded by people seeking to improve the world via science and engineering - that you can't solve humanity via technology or logic or rules. Lena forgot this.

Myriad marks a shift in the rift. Kara lied to Lena, antagonized her, spied on her - but her wrongs were directed towards Lena. Lena's initial response - the petty manipulation and the plan to out Kara - were directed back at Kara.

But then the rift fundamentally shifts.

At this point, Lena's wrongs are no longer just about Kara - she's trying to brainwash the world. She mindcontrolled Malefic and enslaved Eve. This went beyond the fallout between two friends.

It's clear that her intentions are still good here. She's not a megalomaniac like her brother, she's not forming an us-vs-them mentality like her stepmother. She's an anti-villain at this point in the story - desperate to find what's true, in a world full of lies.

It's a hard line to walk, acknowledging Lena's trauma and well-intentioned motivations while realizing she's still ultimately culpable for her own actions. But it's important to try to balance, because Lena is still redeemable.

But getting back to the relationship itself - Kara played a large role in pushing Lena to the edge of her trauma, which was entirely motivated by Kara's own trauma.

You hide things so you don’t lose people. I run from people who hide things. I guess we were bound to explode.

Lena says this in my first fic mentioned earlier, and it summarizes the rift as succinctly as I can put it. Their traumas were incompatible, and their relationship should've failed.

And yet.

Delving into how the CW screwed up the rift could be its own essay. They gave us a complex and layered situation, only to gut it with It's a Super Life (beloved/beloathed), the narrative retroactively justifying Kara instead of examining her foils, glossing over Lena instead of delving into her ethical blindspots. The rift was cancelled.

What does that leave us with?

Well, I guess it left me seeking the rift, over and over again. I'm certainly not the first author to do a rift fic, and I doubt I'll be the last. There seem to be a few different approaches:

Some authors delve into the nuance, having the two characters hash out what they've been through in a way that feels balanced and real. In particular, I love the @searidings fic with the birds i'll share this lonely view. I don't think I have the skill to pull off that type of story.

Some writers lean heavily on one "side" or the other, often with lots of grovelling. This never resonates with me, because at some point in a relationship there has to be the realization that it's "us vs. the problem", rather than "you vs. me". In my mind, these fics miss the layers of trauma that led to the rift.

Some authors make the rift not matter. If you put the characters through hell and back, the anger will lose its thrust, and they'll be left wanting to heal.

I fall into the last category.

There's a moment from permanence by @itllsetyoufree that I especially love, where - in the aftermath of season 6 - Eliza asks Lena why she forgave Kara. Lena can't answer.

We like to think we're logically driven. But in my experience, forgiveness - and a host of other emotions - never work that way. Sometimes "sorry" cuts it, sometimes it doesn't. A lot of times, forgiveness comes from the realization that someone genuinely wants to connect, and that the fallout was relatively unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

Of course, when your fallout includes extra levels of gaslighting and a bit of global brainwashing, making it relatively unimportant requires something drastic.

That's where I end up landing. Putting my blorbos in Situations helps them see the other in a new light - see the other's genuineness, the other's fears, the other's love. Often times, this comes with the simultaneous threat to someone's life (though that's not necessary, especially if it's earlier in Lena's breaking point cutoff).

I do assume - and sometimes imply - that they're also having those discussions, working things out in the background. Because of what I put them through in my fics, I don't think those end up being explosive discussions. It's about figuring out the practical aftermath of what the heart already knows at that point.

Whether I deliver on that is ultimately up to the reader, but that's my approach. Because at the end of the day, love is about cherishing and understanding the person in front of you - flaws and and traumas in all. These stories are driven by loving both characters, and trying to see them the way they see each other.

The rift is a story about love and connection - how those things can't happen without embracing someone else's trauma and without understanding one's own imperfection. Because that's what's at the root of all of us.

And that's why I write the rift.

[total-drama-brainrot]

Thinking about the fake dating AU again. 🤯

What if, during his segment on the Aftermath, Noah plays off his 'cheating' as something so emotionally detached it makes him look almost psychopathic, in an attempt to make himself as unlikable as possible?

The 'cheating' was simply strategic, is all. It wasn't his fault the two of them had to go and catch real feelings; Noah was just playing the game. Nothing more.

What? You thought he had feelings for them? Don't be ridiculous, Noah felt nothing for either of them- they were just there to carry him through the competition.

(He doesn't anticipate the ache that twists through his chest after that statement. It isn't true in the slightest, yet even just pretending to not care about his partners is physically painful.)

At first, both Geoff and Blaineley commend him for enacting some long overdue karma/vengeance on the antagonistic duo, but the more Noah intentionally digs himself into a hole- the more hateable he makes himself- the more people actually begin to pity both Heather and Alejandro. Which was the plan from the beginning, so Noah fully commits to it, playing off every interaction as just another cog in his manipulation machine; he's the 'High IQ', after all, of course he planned it all.

And he hides the nausea writhing in his gut from the blatant lies he's sprouting under a carefully blank, uncaring mask of indifference. Every claim he makes is said in the most casual tone- as if he's commenting on the weather instead of admitting to masterminding the heartbreak of two strong competitors- and that's somehow worse than if he would at least seem smug about his achievement. Because at least then he'd (appear to) care.

So, when the Aftermath finally ends, Noah becomes persona non grata. No one wants to even look at him- who knew the little snark could be so ruthless? So uncaring?

And Noah, knowing that he can't confide in Owen (who can't keep a secret to save his life) or Izzy (who's too unpredictable to trust- and who also 'leaked' fake information about him to Sierra during her time on Celebrity Manhunt, so who knows what else she's leak?) turns to his friend Eva, who promptly decks him in the face.

"I'm not friends with cheaters."

And when he tries to explain himself, clutching at his quickly bruising face and hoping that she'll see reason or at the very least afford him some decency, she throws his actions back in his face (actions have always spoken louder than words with Eva). Claiming that, if he's willing to lead on two people romantically, who's to say he isn't also faking their friendship? How can she trust anything that comes out of his slimy mouth?

It hurts. Every accusation is like a wave of searing heat against his already blistered heart, and yet Eva's eyes are so cold as she looks at Noah like he's the scum beneath her shoes.

So he flees to his hotel room.

And, for the first time in years, he weeps.

.

Given the informative finale of World Tour, the Aftermath crew were given the go-ahead to host one last hurrah, to properly question their finalists about their scheme, and to clear Noah's name.

Their audience was practically frothing at the mouth for an update.

During their interview segment, Blaineley (in an attempt to stir up some drama- she's always endeavouring to stay on brand after all) plays clips of Noah's callous 'confessions' on his Aftermath segment post-elimination, hoping to cause some trouble in paradise for the lovely throuple by sewing the seeds of doubt in their minds.

To her surprise, both Heather and Alejandro start laughing at the clips as if they're the funniest thing they've ever seen, huddling closer to Noah as they poke and tease him. Noah, in turn, sinks in unto himself, red-faced and mortified.

"What? How can you be alright with him saying that?" Cries Blaineley, scandalised that her attempt at brewing tension somehow didn't work.

"Because he does not mean it." Alejandro explains. To his side, Heather nods in agreement.

"How can you be so sure?"

Heather points to the screen, where past Noah is lying his ass off for the world to see, stoic save for the barely noticable twitching of his fingers and the occasional jump of his leg.

"He's lying through his teeth! It's so obvious- you weren't even trying to hide your tells, and after all the practice we did!"

"I didn't need to. Neither of you were there to call me out on the bluff."

[psychic-refugee]

This is taking most of the situations out of context and grossly ignores Bianca’s own toxic behaviour.  

Xavier broke up with Bianca because it’s implied she used her powers ON him, without his permission. She admits “I make one mistake, and you can’t forgive me.” (Woe is the Loneliest Number). I don’t think it’s unreasonable to lose trust in someone who would force their will onto you via powers. If anything, she’s the toxic one in that moment because she brushes off what she did as no big deal when he’s made it clear it upset him. Why give someone a second chance when they seem totally disingenuous? She proved herself to be manipulative. Not just with him, but with everyone. She's lying to everyone about who she is. She poisoned her fellow Nightshade to win the competition.

Xavier tells Wednesday not to trust her visions because she doesn’t have full context. “The first thing he’ll tell you is that visions can’t be trusted. They only show one part of the picture.” (Friend or Woe). An example is her vision of Rowan. She sees him die but has no idea in what context or why. It turns out she inadvertently caused his death because the Hyde was protecting her. If she never ran to the woods and followed him, Rowan would likely still be alive because WE know that Tyler is the Hyde and would have been with Wednesday if she had run away from Nevermore as she originally planned. I’m aware that Wednesday is written as perfect and overpowered, but Xavier is right in this instance. She’s working backwards and using the visions to explain what she wants them to mean instead of just admitting she doesn’t know something. It's like reading one random paragraph in a novel and thinking you can expound the entire story just from that. Further, Xavier tells a psychic that no psychic can solely rely upon their visions, not just Wednesday. He’s not targeting her specifically, he’s acknowledging a flaw in their powers, which is a) true and b) Wednesday never practiced or had a handle on her powers. She admits this to Thing when they’re at the Crackstone barn. "No, I can’t just touch something." Id. She can’t call forth a vision at will nor has any control of what she sees. Not trusting her visions is a fair assessment even if he was specifically speaking about her. It’s not “mansplaining” when Wednesday actually doesn’t know or have experience with her own powers. We know she has a stressed relationship with Morticia ("I would rather dye my hair pink than ask my mother for advice." Id.) and kept her powers a secret for months. She really has no reason to be so reliant on her visions or take them at face value when she literally has no context nor experience.

So, it’s more like telling a baker who inherited their position, with no previous training, and who never actually bakes unless forced to, not to trust the yeast. In addition, yeast does expire and goes bad. An experienced baker tests the yeast ("blooming") before adding it to the recipe, they don’t blindly trust it. This is a failure of an analogy all around.

Xavier does not know the extent of Bianca’s relationship with her mother. Bianca specifically is living a lie at Nevermore. Her name isn’t even Bianca. I don’t think it’s fair to assign him blame of “leaving her” when a) Bianca lied about her home and personal life and b) has never met Bianca’s mother. If anything, he’s presuming she’d be happy because he would be happy if his absentee father had shown up. Again, if Bianca purposely lied about her home life to be better than it was, how is that Xavier’s fault he believed her? His psychic ability isn’t mind reading. I think Bianca looks shocked, but not “terrified.” Any fear Bianca may have is more about her lie being exposed than she is afraid of her mother. Further, since she has admitted to using her powers on him, how do we know she didn’t Siren him to ignore red flags in order to keep her secret? I can sympathise that Biance is getting away from a toxic situation, but why date someone while living a lie? What’s her endgame if she never plans on being honest?

He yanks her into the room for both their benefit as she’s not supposed to be in the boy’s dorm. They’d likely both get in trouble if she were caught. He didn’t invite her, and she could have tried to talk to him somewhere else at any other time. They both literally live on campus. Why is she coming to his room uninvited to go over an issue he’s already made clear was a deal breaker for him? Bianca' s jealousy in that instance is her own issue. They're broken up and he's allowed to move on.

I do agree he shouldn’t have taken her to the dance and then sulked the whole time. He should have gone stag. I’m willing to give grace to a 16-year-old, however, for not perfectly handling every situation in his life with perfect maturity. It was a low stakes dance and in the big scheme of things of what Xavier has done vs what Bianca has done, I think Xavier comes out on top.

[an-angel-in-the-garden]

Hello! I hope you are having a good day! I read the rules but I'm not sure if this is allowed or not, if not, you can ignore this!

Aizen x (Fem) Reader,

What about the reader being from another universe (Like from another show/anime) and being much stronger than Aizen and plus mostly scary because of how powerful she is? At first, she is cold to Aizen, but him being mysterious makes the reader more interested in him, so she is not really cold towards him unlike how she is cold towards anyone else. She would slowly start to like him.

I hope this is clear enough 🥲!

This was very clear! Thank you for providing so much detail, this is within my rules. So I couldn't think of a show for reader to be from so I hope it's alright that I made her just a typical goddess character, kind of like Artemis if that helps! Also like needy Aizen cause Idk it just happened. More under cut~

It was only natural that Aizen would notice when someone new showed up. The rush of power was impossible to miss and it only made him more interested. Perhaps this person could be useful, it was a thought that lingered in his mind while he searched. At least she was easy to find. It seemed she wasn't worried about people wanting to hunt down that power and thankfully he was the first to find her. Regal yet strong she stood out from the things around her in this wasteland. It felt almost overwhelming standing so close and Aizen knew right away he needed to keep her around. From that day his feelings only grew for her. This goddess was powerful he learned, far stronger than him but that only made him more interested. Aizen wanted no, needed more, he needed to be the one she focused on most and maybe he could be.

It seemed simple enough at first. Getting people to like him was never a problem yet this goddess wouldn't fall for anything. Not the smiles or small talk, not the invites for tea, nothing seemed to work. It was then he realized that she likely just wouldn't fall for his lie. She was not as easy to manipulate as the other captain and people of the soul society; she was better, smarter. No way would she believe such simple lies. With that out of the way he figures there's no point in hiding his true nature then, it's likely she already knows anyway. For a few weeks after things go on like normal. There's no longer an attempt to hide what he does or plans, instead it's laid out in the open for her to see and so begins the hesitant friendship that blossoms into something more.

Aizen is not someone who give up easily and the moment he notice you treating him differently is the moment he's sure he's won

It's not often he can make a real connection with people but you make it feel worthwhile 

With such power he can see why others respect and fear you, he himself would never want to be on the other end of your skills but that just adds to the thrill

At first he wanted you to be his queen but after seeing what you could do, seeing the power and control you had he knew empress was a far more fitting title 

The Espada are fully at your will and Aizen is willing to do almost anything to get in your good grace

That's part of why you end up taking a likely to him

Though he's willing to help, Aizen never goes out of his way to be kind anymore and he refuses to spill all of his secrets 

Anything with him is very push and pull. No matter how much he wants your attention he won't beg and in the same way you won't bend to his will

When the two of you become closer he wants to fight against you at least once 

Knowing you wont kill him makes him excited to take on the challenge, you're someone he can't predict, someone far stronger than he thought possible and it drives him mad

Your love makes him more ready to take over the soul society preferably with your help 

Love and obsession will become a part of your everyday life, such a powerful goddess is someone who can full handle whatever he wants to give and the fact you can set him straight only adds to it

I truly don't know if I got what you wanted but I had fun writing it and I like how it came out. Feel free to let me know what you think, but I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you for requesting and reading! ~ Lilly

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku's Sister CH14

Chapter 13: "He Doesn't Want To Be Saved”

Summary: As Odasaku's sister tries to find a way to make up for Dazai's missed birthday, she learns that it might not be so simple. Because why would a boy so intent on dying ever want to celebrate living?

Warnings: pm!sixteen year old dazai, suicide mentions, guns, manipulation on both sides, odasaku death mentions, dazai being a simp, protective ango

(This is chapter fourteen of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Master List Here

A03 Here

Work Count: 6k

Ango placed a hand up to his face before rubbing his temple in order to quell the dull pain that resided there. This was the fourth week in a row that he had spent in his office alone and the man was starting to get used to the dim and windowless walls around him. 

The tasks in front of him were extensive, they always were for his line of work and the process had become a force of habit lately for the man. It was easier that way, working himself into the ground in order to keep his mind off his deceased best friend and the mistakes he regretted every step of the way. 

Because in some sort of sick way the agent still believed that he was partly responsible for Odasaku’s death. Maybe not directly but he was a spy in the port mafia, he still betrayed Dazai and Oda by telling the government all their secrets, the ones that he promised to keep. He lied, he betrayed them in the worst possible way and Ango knew he didn’t deserve forgiveness. 

And then there was Asagao. 

It had been almost an entire year since he last saw her in person but the government check ups he ordered seemed to show that she was doing fine adjusting to Yokohama. 

And he promised himself that he would be there for her, that he would take on that brotherly/ paternal role that Oda couldn’t do anymore but who was he kidding? He wasn’t equipt for that kind of thing. He never liked kids, and now he was responsible for the most important thing in the universe? How could he possibly be worthy of such a thing? 

In a twisted way, he couldn't help but look at her as an atonement, a penance for his past crimes. Because maybe if he kept her safe then the universe would forgive him as well, maybe he could finally have a good night's rest without the consent guilt on his back. 

But he knew it was wrong to look at her that way, to only see her as a bargaining tool of his own psyche. How despicable of him. She had nothing to do with all of this. Asa was just a lost sixteen year old child that needed guidance. 

And though he was sure he wasn’t equipped for that, Ango knew he had to try. 

He couldn’t fail anyone else, especially Odasaku’s little sister  

Sighing to himself, Ango then reached his office door before opening the surface and pausing at the familiar sight of crimson across his vision. “Ah, there you are! I’ve been waiting for ages. This is bad Ango, this is really really really bad! You gotta help me!” 

Almost immediately, the man felt his mind turn blank with confusion, watching the frazzled and fidgety Asagao race up to him in clear distress. 

And though he should’ve focused on many things, the only thing that he could comprehend was her cry for help. 

Oh no, what could’ve happened? She looked so scared and helpless like this. Did someone try to hurt her? Did something happen that the government reports didn’t pick up on?!  

Ango then reached forward in order to place a firm hand on her shoulders and stop her jumpy body language. 

No, it didn’t matter what happened, he would fix it. He had to. Anything to make sure she was safe. “Asa..h-hey..it’s okay..what happened..?” 

The girl only shook her head though, causing Ango to grip onto her even tighter, a sense of dread in his voice. “It’s okay, you can tell me. Does it have something to do with Dazai?” 

Asagao then nodded her head sadly, causing the agent’s blood to boil. He knew this would happen, he knew that allowing her to hang around a destructive force like Dazai was a horrible idea. He could only imagine how he hurt her. 

That selfish little boy, how dare he hurt the last remaining piece of Oda in this world. He didn’t care if the two used to be friends, Ango wouldn’t  forgive him for ignoring his warnings. 

Just then, he saw her lips start to quiver in reply, Asagao’s hand moving up in order to weakly grasp onto his buttoned down work shirt as Ango leaned in closer with anxiety at the sound of her voice.”Ango..I..I..”

Feeling his heart twist and turn at the sound of her broken little tone, the agent frowned, ready to tear down the entire city in response. 

Oh my god, how bad could it be? What possible could’ve had her acting like this?

Ango’s mind then began to run rampant, already coming up with a list of people to call and documents to get in order to take Asagao away from Yokohama. Sure, it would be tricky but he could do it, he could get her away from..

Yet that’s when Asagao finished her sentence, a whine etched in her throat. “I missed Osamu’s birthday..!” 

…..what?

Almost immediately, the agent felt his mind stop, his own eyes blinking in disbelief as he tried to process the ridiculous statement. That’s what this was about? She wasn’t hurt, she wasn’t in danger? All of that, for a missed birthday? Oh, you have got to be kidding me. 

Forcing his hands to fall from her shoulders, Ango’s lingering headache seemed to return ten fold, his fingers reaching up to the sight with a groan. He really was worried for nothing. 

Although now that his panic had passed, more questions seemed to appear in his mind. “Hold on, how did you even get in here?” 

Asagao only turned her head in reply, like the answer was obvious. “Through the door, duh. You're so silly Ango, how else would I do it?” 

Ango deadpanned though, knowing it wasn’t that simple. “You know that’s not what I mean. This is a government owned building. There are extensive levels of security. You can’t just..” 

Realization seemed to flash on her face then, Asagao clapping her hands up before wiggling a finger in air quotes at the man’s direction. “Oh yeah! That reminds me, you should really look into that. It’s not as “secure” as you think it is.” 

At that, Ango couldn’t help but widen his eyes in horror. 

Wait, did that mean what he thought it meant? Did this girl just break into a high level government building and illegally gain access to his office just to tell him a stupid statement like that? Forgetting a birthday, that’s what constituted committing a literal crime?! 

She was insane, literally insane. What if she got caught, what if things didn’t go as planned? Then she would’ve been in prison for something so incredibly stupid. 

Feeling a sharp shiver run up his spine, Ango then looked at the goofy unbothered smile on her lips only to thank the gods that Asagao wasn’t evil or else he knew he would’ve been screwed. 

 To have her as an enemy, he imagined it was probably just as bad as having Dazai as an enemy. 

Asagao seemed to notice his disapproving stare though, her hands going up in defense before frowning. “Hey don’t look at me like that. I tried doing things legally but the people out front wouldn't let me in and this is really important, Ango! I couldn't wait!” 

The man only let his shoulders fall in defeat, already utterly exhausted from this conversion. He knew that she was spazzy and strange but this thought process was way more messed up then Odasaku ever was. She was like the man turned up to a million.  

If only her brother was here, because right now the agent felt like he was clearly in over his head. “I don’t even know where to begin with that statement..” 

Walking over to his desk, Ango stumped into the chair only for Asagao to turn around to place her hands on the surface in reply. “Come on Angoooo, we are getting off topic. I’m really at a loss here, that’s why I came to you in the first place. You’re the only grown up I know and I really need someone to talk to about this. Pleaseee?” 

Then to add dramatic effect, the girl practically draped herself over his desk in order to bat her eyes as innocently and sweetly as possible, making Ango’s heart hesitate with guilt. 

Damn it, why did she have to say that? Why did she need to bring up that he was the only reliable adult she had in her life? How could he possibly turn her away now? Even though her methods were foolish, scolding her wouldn’t change that she had searched him out. 

Sighing to himself, Ango then closed his eyes before speaking apprehensively. “Alright, fine. What do you mean you missed Dazai’s birthday?” 

Then almost immediately, Asagao’s expression brightened up in order for her to snap back up with a clap of excitement, almost like she had planned her pathetic little act purposely to make him cave.   

But that was crazy, right? 

Not giving him time to think though, Asa spoke. “Right, so we were talking and the conversation came up but then when I asked him about his birthday Osu said that it was six months ago. He told me not to worry about it but how can I? I’m his girlfriend and I couldn’t even have the decency to wish him a happy birthday. Ah, I’m the worst, aren’t I?” 

Yet Ango couldn’t help but catch something else in her explanation, red flags immediately going off as his head snapped up. “Hold on, didn’t you say that your relationship is in name only? You just called yourself his girlfriend.” 

The way she said it, it seemed so natural and that was something that worried Ango immediately. He was only okay with Dazai and Asa’s relationship if it was surface level. But this didn’t sound surface level anymore. And that scared him. 

He then watched the girl pause before shaking her head to will away the idea. “Girlfriend, fake girlfriend whatever..you’re missing the point, Ango. This isn’t about that. Anyways, like I was saying I just..”  

Ango only cut her off though only, his tone sharp. “You’re not getting attached are you?” 

Practically jumping in her skin, he then watched Asa hesitate once more before stuttering out a reply. “W-What, no. Of course not. Osamu and I aren’t like that. Our “relationship” is by convenience, that’s all. I told you that. We use each other to get closer to Oda.” 

Sure, that’s what she told him but relationships change. Surface level things become deeper without warning and that was something that Ango needed to shut down the moment he sensed it. 

And the way she was looking at Ango right now was the man's worst fear. Her voice cracked on the first part of her reply, which meant that he had struck something unknown. 

Not letting her wiggle out of this one, the man refused to break eye contact with her. “If that is the case, then why are you so worried about such a trivial thing?” 

Not understanding, Asa scoffed. “What are you talking about?” 

Yet Ango simply gave her the hard truth, whether she wanted it or not. “Dazai’s birthday has nothing to do with Odasaku. You know that, and yet you break into my office because of it. Why?” 

It was a flaw in her story, one that the man couldn’t help but notice. Because if Dazai and her were really using each other for convenience and for Oda’s memory then why had she broken into a government facility and risked imprisonment for something that had had nothing to do with their original promise?

Watching her stumble on her words, Asa filtered with her hands  “Well…because..”

Ango spoke over again though, his accusation throwing her completely off guard. “Asagao, please tell me you haven’t fallen for him.” 

That was his worst fear, for Dazai to latch his greedy little claws into her so much so that she could never escape. He could so easily wrap her around his finger and make her do unspeakable things with the guise of love and Asa would know none the wiser. 

He could wreck her, destroy her until she was a shell of herself and this poor girl would thank him for it. 

No, that couldn’t happen. If that was the case then he would have to go back to original plan and drag Odasaku’s sister out of Yokohama as quickly as possible. 

But it seemed like the idea hadn’t even crossed her mind, Asagao’s face immediately turning a bright red in order to flap her arms around in distress. “W-What?! No, no no it’s not like that. I haven’t..I didn’t even..that’s not...you're wrong. I just wanted to do something nice for him. You know, because of all the things he did for me.” 

And for Asagao, the agent’s acquisition wasn't something she could comprehend. What was he saying, that she was in love with Osamu? What kind of crazy idea was that? Of course it wasn’t like that. 

Love? How could she possibly be worthy of such a thing with him? He didn’t even know her. Sure, maybe they weren’t strangers anymore but Osamu didn’t have the connection that Asagao had. He didn’t have years worth of letters to go off of. 

He knew her from the last year they had been together but even Asa knew not to get carried away by their relationship. Osamu would never have the bond that she had for him, and that was okay. She didn’t expect him to. 

Ango was getting carried away, there was no way things could be like that. Osamu would never fall in love with a freak like her, she knew that. That’s why the idea had never crossed her mind. 

The way they were now, it was enough for her. 

She couldn’t expect more. 

Sucking in a heavy breath, Asa then closed her eyes in order to calm her erratic heartbeat before answering his question. “You asked me why I’m so worried about such a silly little thing? Well because it's important. That’s why. Everyone deserves to celebrate their birthday, even Osamu. Thinking that he let the day pass all alone, without anyone knowing, it doesn’t feel right..” 

Asagao then watched a vivid memory cross her closed eyes, causing her expression to crunch up with sadness. “Especially since I know what that’s like.” 

She could still remember the feeling, every holiday and day lingering past her each year as she sat alone in her room and read her brother’s letters for a sense of warmth. No, she didn’t want Osu to have to feel that, so lonely and insignificant. It was painful. 

And it seemed Ango even knew what she had meant by that statement, his stern gaze softly with painful guilt in order for his shoulders to slump with understanding. 

Perhaps he read this all wrong, she was just trying to do a good thing for his old friend. 

So much so, the agent then sighed to himself before standing from his desk in order to place a warm hand to Asa’s head with a reassuring smile “You don’t have to look so guilty about it. Dazai told you not to worry about it, right?”

He hated how personally she took such a small mistake, that she blamed herself for her inability to predict every little thing. It was the biggest flaw she had, burdening herself with everyone else’s problems and calling them her own. 

Although her topic of conversation still struck something interesting as well, Ango’s mind wandering back to their nights at Bar Lupin and finding a gap. “But now that I think about it, Dazai never brought up his birthday to Odaskau or me, not once.”

At that, Asa couldn’t help but look up. Now we were getting somewhere. “Why do you think he never brought it up?” 

Ango only shook his head though, not having the answers she was looking for. Odasaku was always better at reading that boy than him. “I don’t know, I imagine it just never interested him..”

The man then frowned before whispering mostly to himself. “I mean, for a kid so intent on dying, why would he want to celebrate another year of living?” 

Then all at once, Asagao felt her eyes widen in heartbreaking realization. She had never thought about that before but Ango was right. Osamu wanted to die, he wanted to leave this world by his own volition. That was his end goal. 

And the idea of a birthday was about the exact opposite. It was soaked in life and celebration, everything that Dazai Osamu absolutely despised. 

After his many suicide attempts, after the world rejected to take him, she was sure that his birthday was like the equivalent of a slap in the face. 

Because every year that passed was a failure to him, it marked another eternity stuck on this earth, almost like the day of his birth was continuing to mock him for being unable to finish the job. 

No wonder why he looked withdrawn when she mentioned it. Asa probably brought back that rejection tenfold without meaning to. That’s why he brushed it off and told her to drop it. 

Damn it, now she felt even worse than before. 

There had to be something she could do to make him feel better. 

Lowering her eyes in silent thought, Ango then broke through the silence, his words laced with warning. “I know that face. Stop it. I know you mean well but getting wrapped up in Dazai’s suicidal tendencies will do you no good. It will end in disaster and you're just going to get hurt like that.” 

Asa only shook her head though, hating that he was right. Osamu’s world was so dark and sad, laced with loneliness and misery she could never understand. His desire to die surely stemmed from a mix of horrible experiences and feelings that he kept locked tight to himself. 

Feeling her shoulders slump in defeat, the girl was at a loss. “I just want to help him, is that so bad?”

Ango only softened though, his hand landing on her shoulder with a sad smile. “No, it’s not. I want to also, but it’s not that simple. You have to understand that Dazai’s been like that for a long time, even longer than Odasaku or I have known him. Any attempt to fix what’s broken is long gone.” 

Asagao slumped her head down at that, her blurry uncertain eyes boring to the floor. 

She would never be able to understand it, not fully. What made him like this? 

Because while she saw the good and the possibilities of beauty Asa knew that Osamu was the complete opposite. His life had only provided him with awful memories, memories that have always been incomprehensible to her.

But even still, she couldn’t help but catch glimpses of his past every once and a while. The way he would become strangely quiet and stare out Oda’s window silently while she slept, the way his eyes would narrow in deep thought when they watched a movie or the way he would flitch and tense when she tried to touch anywhere but his bandages. 

Something in his life had broken him, far beyond repair. 

And Asagao wasn’t stupid, as knew that crying to him or begging the boy not to kill himself was pointless. He was too far gone for that. The idea of suicide had been ingrained into every one of his cells, suffocating him and making him see no other option. 

After years of suffering, how could she possibly change any of that? 

Still not wanting to believe it, Asa grasped for anything she could find, anything that would heal his broken mind. “But..I..” 

Yet that’s when Ango cut her off, his voice serious. “Asagao.”

Looking up from her spot on the floor, the agent finished sadly. “He doesn’t want to be saved.” 

And that broke the final straw of hope that she had, the girl crumbling down internally as her entire face fell.

Ango was right. Dazai didn’t want to be saved. This whole birthday thing was a part of a larger much deeper scale, one that she couldn’t fix no matter how hard she tried. 

But could it really be? Could she really not do anything? Even after he gave her so much, even after Osamu’s presence calmed her heart back home. 

Right now was she truly utterly useless to him? 

Searching for an answer, Asa whispered. “If my brother were still here, what would he have done?” 

Ango knew the answer immediately, although it wasn’t the one she wanted. “He would’ve dropped it. Odasaku knew better than to dive too deep into Dazai’s problems and so should you.” 

Drop it? Really? Oda saw this sad broken little boy and he just ignored his problems? He never brought it up or tried to fix it, not once? He pretended like they weren’t there and went on drinking with Dazai like nothing was wrong? How could he stand that? 

Shaking her head, something about that sentence didn’t seem right. “But that’s what everyone else in his life has done. That’s what he’s grown up with, that’s what he probably expects..” 

Just then, Asagao paused, the words getting lost in her throat before her eyes widened with realization. “I get it.”

Why hadn’t she seen it before? Why didn’t she realize that? How could she have been so stupid? Oh, she needed to get to work quickly. There wasn’t much time. 

Then Ango watched the red haired kid immediately turn towards the door only for him to chase after her. What did that mean? She wasn’t about to do something dangerous, was she? 

Because that was something he wasn’t going to allow. “Wait, where are you going now?” 

Turning around immediately, Asagao answered back, her voice rushed and manic, like she was trying to process her thoughts by the second. “You’re right, Ango. Empty words mean nothing to him, and maybe backing off would be easier but that’s not going to fix anything. Telling him not to die, that’s not what he’s looking for.”  

Ango still looked completely lost though, causing Asagao to groan in frustration before connecting the dots for him. “Don’t you see? Osamu doesn’t want to be saved, he wants to be noticed.” 

Lifting her hands out in explanation, Oda’s sister continued. “How many years has Osu been alone, how many times has he let his birthday pass because he simply believes that no one will care and no one will hear him? He’s given up because he realized that it’s easier for everyone else to ignore him than to acknowledge his suffering..” 

Of course, of course that’s what it was. He didn’t want someone to pull him from the ledge, he wanted someone to notice that he went up to the roof in the first place. How many years had he been ignored, looked over, and passed off because of his inability to be understood? 

So much so that at some point down the line, Osamu stopped calling out, he stopped waiting for someone to see him and just buried himself in the darkness, not seeing a point in trying anymore. 

That’s why he didn’t bring up his birthday, because he thought that no one would care, that no one would ever acknowledge the fact that he was alive and struggling with the wish not to be. 

Oh, how lonely and isolating that must have been for him, to have given up hope. 

The ideology that her brother and Ango shared, it was only part of the problem. Ignoring his pain wasn’t going to make it go away. 

And perhaps acknowledgment it wouldn’t fix it either, but at least it would show Dazai that she was looking at him, that she saw him. 

He wasn’t alone, she would walk right beside him for as long as she was able. 

Because of that, for the first time in her life, Asagao couldn’t agree with her brother’s choice. ”But I will always acknowledge it, I won’t ignore it like my big brother. I refuse to let him suffer alone.” 

Balling her hands into fists with determination, the girl then turned around in order to leave only to hear Ango’s voice once more. “Why? Why are you pushing yourself so hard for him? Dazai isn’t the kind of person that would ask you to do this.”

Asagao only nodded her head though fully aware of that. “I know.”

She knew Osamu wouldn’t have expected such a thing for her, but that’s why she had to do it more than anything else. Because he was worth it, and although he may have not believed it, he deserved only the absolute best in life. 

So what if he never outwardly cried out for help? That just made his desperate silence even more prominent. 

Ango then watched Oda’s sister pause by the door, her hand on the side of the frame as her next words caused a ring of newfound clarity to appear in his eyes.

“But those are the kinds of people that need it the most.” 

--------

Turning the lock to Odasaku’s apartment, Dazai happily skipped inside in order to throw his usual black jacket on the floor and kick off his shoes with a holler. “Asa-chan! Your favorite person is here!” 

Almost as if on cue, the girl herself came racing to the entryway, her face the epitome of sunlight as she waved towards him. “Oh, Osu! You’re just in time. I’m almost done with dinner.” 

Dazai only hummed at that, already making his way towards the table in the corner as his stomach grumbled with reply. 

He never liked eating before but ever since he visited Asa’s place more frequently the boy found himself looking forward to whatever would be waiting for him. 

Settling down at his usual spot, Dazai placed his hands onto the table before hearing the soft humming from Asa as she moved through the kitchen causing the boy to close his eyes in contentment.

He hated how relaxed he was in this mutate and normal atmosphere. It contrasted the cold port mafia basement he had that spend the first half of his day in.

In fact, it was like night and day, the boy finally able to un-tense his shoulders and breathe for the first time in hours.

Although that’s when he heard Asa’s voice from the kitchen, just as sweet as always. “Hey, Osamu. Can you do me a favor and close your eyes for a sec? I wanna show you something.” 

Lifting his head up with amusement, the boy called back, fully intent on teasing her. “So bold, Asa-chan. You plan on attacking me while I’m defenseless? Although now that I think about it, dying by your beautiful fingers wouldn’t be a bad way to go so I'll allow it.. “

Then as promised, Dazai closed his eyes, leaning back on his arms as wistfully thought about that possibility. He wasn’t kidding when he said he wouldn’t have minded her killing him tonight.

Usually the boy wouldn’t have let his guard down like this with anyone but on the off chance that Asa did betray him the executive knew he’d be okay with it. At least he would die in this nice warm place.

Perhaps she would hum for him while she did it also? That sounded like the prefect way to die. 

He then vaguely heard Asagao’s footsteps sound around him before hearing the light behind him click off before she spoke again, anxiety in her tone. “Alright, open them!” 

Dazai then did as she asked, opening his eyes before the soft glow of a tiny flame welcomed him, only to look down to find a small circular strawberry cream filled cake below it. But what was this? 

Looking up with confusion, the boy then opened his lips only for Asagao to speak above him, her voice rising to a sing-songy tone. “Happy Late Birthday, Osamu!” 

And almost instantly the boy was stunned, Dazai not knowing what to say only for Asa to continue in his place. “I know, I know what you’re going to say. But I already missed way too many of your birthdays’ I couldn’t miss another one.” 

He then watched her hesitate before reaching underneath her in order to pull out a stack of colorful folded construction paper in order to place it on the table. “Besides, who knows how many of them you’ll be around for before you go. That’s why we should treat every single one as special.”

Then the girl simply slid the stack over to Dazai with a shaky nervous smile as the boy picked up the first one on the pile with confusion. Just what was her plan, and why did she look so anxious for him to look at these? 

Although Dazai got his answer the moment he opened the paper, his eyes greeted by a homemade drawing with big huge bubble letters and a short message underneath. 

----

Happy 1st Birthday, Osamu

I'm glad you were born.

----

Feeling his fingers turn numb, the boy then quickly closed the sight before immediately reaching for another folded paper, this time in the middle of the stack. No, it couldn’t be. These weren’t, they couldn’t be..

----

Happy 13th Birthday Osamu

This is the year I first heard about you from Oda’s letters and I wouldn’t have in any other way. You gave me so much hope and wonderful feelings. You may have seen this day as a failure but I’m glad you made it another year so I could know who you are. 

-----

They were. They were birthday cards. Counting the folded pieces of paper immediately, the boy gasped. Sixteen, there were sixteen cards, one to represent every single year she wasn’t there. She made these for him. 

Not knowing how to process the gesture, Dazai stared dumbfounded at the brightly colored pieces of paper. Asa went through so much effort for him, why? He told her to drop it. He wasn’t expecting her to care this much. 

No one ever cared this much. 

Not knowing if he wanted to continue and yet feeling the desperation to even so, the boy then reached for the final one in the stack with a shaky breath of uncertainty. 

-----

Happy 16th Birthday Osamu 

I know you want me to forget that I missed your birthday but I simply can’t do that, Osu. Because this is the first year I have the honor of saying to you in person. All the other times I silently spoke it through the letters but this time I’m going to get it right. So, here it goes. 

I know how you probably look at this day. You see the failure, the mockery of another year alive but the time we spent together this past year has been a gift to me.

The things that you despise like your very existence or even waking up in the morning to see another day, I can't help but be grateful for them because it means I get the privilege of sharing my life with you for just a little bit longer. 

And just as I cherish them, I hope you do too. So much so then when you do finally leave this world you may realize that not everything in life was bad. That someone noticed you when you thought no one ever would. 

You are the most important thing to me, Osamu. 

Thank you for being alive another year.  

----

Once he was done reading, Dazai remained silent, his eyes glued to the page as a heavy wave of emotion coursed through him. It made his throat close up and his chest ache with unspeakable pain by the second. 

No one had ever thanked him for being alive before. 

These letters, she wasn’t trying to get him to live, she wasn’t shaming his desire to die. No, she had acknowledged his wish and yet thanked him for it. 

God, he felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he was dying from his own faltering body. What was wrong with him? Why was his hands shaking on these cards, why was his eyes stinging with pain and his throat closing up against his will? 

Asagao on the other hand watched his reactions with anxiety, her fingers flittering under the table before standing up in order to get the rest of dinner. 

Perhaps her cards didn’t do much but it was worth a shot, at least he knew she was thinking about him now. 

Yet that’s when she felt two arms reach around her waist, pulling her backwards into Dazai’s chest as he buried his messy brown hair into her shoulder in order to hide his expression. 

His grip was firm and tight, unable to let her move or turn around, almost like it was on purpose so she couldn’t see his weak and fathering display from just behind her.

 Asa didn’t mind though, allowing her body to still as she felt him squeeze her midsection in a silent thank you for not pushing it.

How could she break his rules when he was holding her with such warmth and desperation? She couldn’t, not when he was showing her such a fragile side to himself. 

And this was the first time without the blindfold that she had been allowed to witness the crumbling inner boy that was Dazai Osamu. 

Of course she couldn’t see him given their position but she could feel his hands and the trembling frantic hold he had as he tried to tether her to the world. 

Asagao didn’t argue with that though, happy to be his anchor of hope that life could be a tiny bit better than what it was. He could cling to her as long as he needed to and as tightly as he desired because she wasn’t going anywhere. Not ever. 

So much so, the girl then lifted her hand up before lightly touching the hands that were holding her, her fingers tracing over the bare skin as Osamu twitched at the contact before allowing her to rest her palm on top of his lovingly and in absolute silence. 

They stood like that for what seemed like forever, listening to each other's shaky breath before Dazai finally muttered under her shoulder. “You think of something too.” 

Not understanding, Asa’s hand fell from his before shifting her head in confusion. What was he saying? What was she supposed to think about? 

Yet that’s when Osamu spoke again, his head lifting from the safety of her shoulder. “I missed all your birthdays also. So think of something you want to make up for them.” 

Feeling her eyes to flash with realization, Asa immediately felt her lips curve into a warm smile. He was trying to meet her halfway, wasn’t he? How sweet. The scary demon prodigy wanted to get her a birthday gift. 

Although, just the thought was enough for her, not wanting to step on any toes. “Oh, thank you but I couldn't possibly want anything. Just being with you is enough.” 

Dazai only frowned though, immediately twisting his hands around in order to flip the girl so that she was facing him. Why couldn’t she make this easy? He was trying to do something nice for the first time in his life and she wasn’t giving him any ideas. 

He couldn’t just live with her choice. Giving her nothing would’ve been like a slap in the face considering the care and time she put into him. 

There had to be something she had wanted, something that he could provide.

Yet that’s when his mind flashed back to the couple days ago only for his face to light up with twisted realization. There was one thing he knew she was interested in, something she kept asking him about…

Putting his hands on her shoulders, Dazai then smiled in sick joy before speaking. “Aw come on, Asa-chan. I think we both know that’s not true, there is something you want, something you’ve been bugging me about.” 

The then boy paused speaking the words he knew Asagao wouldn’t be able to resist. 

 “How would you like to play with my dog again?” 

[tea-the-not-understanding]

Caps….how…how did they capture you. No offense but your super strong…unless they tricked you.

And I’m sorry you went through all that. ( sends a hug to Prune and Capsaicin )

This is a very rush and quick sketch. But to simplified, he were tricked badly.

To Capsaicin, he would be blaming himself for the death of someone that is isn't his fault at the first place. It were self defence.

And that person, were someone who were captured by the place, manipulated and poisoned. And lied to, the person mind were beyond fixing and lied, and in pure desperation to try to stay alive from the poison that's killing them, they obey and fight the unknowing Capsaicin that left the tribe for some fresh air to clear his mind. The person were yelling attacking Capsaicin, Capsaicin couldn't tell what they were saying but in the moment of defending himself, he fought back and killed the person, not knowing that it were the poison that killed the guy and making the scene look like it were his fault.

Capsaicin were so shocked and stunned as he hold the now dead person in his arm, trying to shake them awake hopelessly, soon to find out that someone been watching him. They approach Capsaicin slowly but still act like they are in fear of Capsaicin being. Capsaicin began to tell them that it not his fault, he didn't meant to. Fooled by the person as they approach and told him that they saw the scene and will tell others about the murder.

Capsaicin hopelessly begging them to not tell anybody about it, and telling them that he couldn't control his power. Blaming his power and ability, The person who work in the lab used his weakness and mental as a way to manipulate Capsaicin, saying that he will tell capsaicin about the murder unless Capsaicin come with them and let them help him control his power better. Explaining that he were one of the 'researcher' for the better cause.

I guess you could guess what happened the rest. Pure manipulation and tricks is how they captured Capsaicin weakness and innocent into their den to test and torture him for their researches.

Capsaicin : "...I-I have no choice... They caught my acts and I just... everything is black when I tell them yes. I'll come with them to keep my secret."

[cpd-55055]

i find it funny that it is said that hailey was under vo*ght's control (8x16 - 9x04) during the manipulation in 8x16 yes with the rest not because she made her own personal decisions when she lied to jay and kim (8x16 - 9x04) and as she said in 9x07 nobody controlled her... she did what she could live with best because vo*ght didn't force her to lie it was her own decision whether she is right everyone has to decide for themselves... but that then hailey fans like jay for what he did in 9x09 to vo*ght to protect hailey... but then hate jay in the finale (9x22) for making his own decisions as well as in 9x09 and hailey not clear with that comes because he is his own decision just his no one else controls him neither hailey nor vo*ght.. he was loyal to everything and everyone the entire season and then is hated for being loyal although hailey was from 8x16 - 9x04 too but she's celebrated for it even when she's lying... and if jay's decisions end up putting him behind bars or in the ground, it's still his decision

I feel like this is a 2 part question, so I'll answer it like that:

Who is to blame for the Roy situation?

As a major Hailey Upton fan, I will say that Hailey is not entirely innocent for what happened during the Roy Walton case. Yes, she decided to go to the warehouse. Yes, she decided to stay at the warehouse even though Voight told her repeatedly to leave. But if you think about it, the root factor for all her decisions is Hank Voight. She went to the warehouse cause she knew Voight was up to something. She probably knew what she was walking into when she got to the warehouse, but she still stayed and tried to convince Voight to bring Roy in because that was the right thing to do. Many fans complain that Hailey should have left the warehouse when Voight told her to go, and things would have ended a lot easier, but that would have been cowardly. Hailey saw Voight beating the crap out of Roy, and she knew she couldn't just stand and watch. She knew that killing Roy would not solve any problems, only create more, so she pleaded with Voight to bring Roy in. And as a Hailey fan, I am proud of her for standing her ground.

But Voight used her vulnerability and firmness to manipulate her into a situation she never wanted to be part of. He convinced Hailey that they would bring Roy in but then decided to give Roy easy access to his gun, which would then force Hailey to shoot. And even in a frazzled state, Hailey still wanted to call an ambo and stop the bleeding, but Voight stopped her. Voight prevented her from doing the right thing and used her vulnerability to control her and the situation.

And you are right; Hailey was the one that lied to Jay. She was the one that hid this big secret from her fiance. But if you rewatch 9x03, in the scene where Voight talked to Hailey about the Feds' investigation, he specifically says that it's important that the secret stays between them. The less people that know that better. So Voight did push her to keep the secret. Hailey wanted to tell Jay, Kim, and the rest of the unit what had happened. In fact, in 9x01, she was willing to tell the whole world the truth just to save a civilian's life, but she didn't because Voight pushed her not to.

At the end of the day, Hailey is an adult, an experienced cop. She made those decisions, and she has to live with them. But she wouldn't have had to make those decisions if Voight had just played by the rules from the beginning.

If Hailey can make her own decisions in 8x16, shouldn't Jay as well in 9x22?

At the end of the day, I have to ask Jay, "have you not learned anything after the Roy/North stuff"? Is Jay willing to risk his entire life and career for a CI? The conversation Jay and Hailey had at the district was so on-point. They both made good points. Jay claimed they should try to help Anna however they could since she had dedicated her entire life to this case. He claimed that the team should protect Anna just like he protected Hailey during the Roy mess. And although what he is saying is fair, what Hailey tells him is even more meaningful. Yes, they had lied and buried evidence to protect Hailey, but it also cost them a lot of things. There was tension within the unit. There was tension between Voight and Halstead. Hailey and Jay's relationship almost fell apart. The unit was almost disbanded, and Hailey, Jay, and Voight almost went to prison. Even though there was a happy ending, much of the journey was chaotic and stressful for all of them. One lie, one cover-up, almost led to the end of Intelligence. They were lucky, but they might not be again. Hailey doesn't want to go through that again. She has learned her lesson and has made it clear what kind of cop she wants to be. I don't hate Jay for what he did. He was trying to help someone who had been loyal to the team for months. But is it worth it? Is he willing to put everything on the line just to protect a CI?

[blackbird-brewster]

I didn’t hate cme and it still made me happy getting to see AJ and JJ again but it annoys me so much that all of JJ’s screen time and stories basically revolved around Will. And it’s not like anything of significance even happened in the end, it was just a rehash of the work life balance struggle and Will’s life potentially being at risk. It feels like we barely even got to see her do proper profiling work or interact with others outside of Luke and Garcia (a couple of times). They really just made her into Will’s wife and I hate that. They had such a good opportunity to explore her further, maybe even show how she would grow after being promoted to Unit Chief or how she deals with her PTSD after the explosion in 16x05, but they wasted it. And now the fandom keeps fawning over Will and Willifer (even people who dislike JJ and have criticised her in the past for not having a personality or story outside of being a wife and mom which wasn’t true until this season imo, but then again some of these people say that JJ doesn’t deserve Will and that he’s the perfect husband so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that they like what this season has done) and I’m scared that they’re going to shove him in even more next season. I think I even saw Erica Messer mention trying to get him back in an interview after the finale. Nothing against the actor but I really hope he isn’t available so much next season and that we actually get a proper JJ story about her. But knowing the showrunners and writers, without Will, JJ would probably just not be given any stories.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE THIS ANON!!!

I'm so mad they had four incredible women for CME and instead of focusing on the female characters who have been side-lined so dudes could have screen time, they just...brought in more dudes.

Literally, it felt like the ONLY time we really got to see JJ was with Will in each and every scene. and for WHAT?!?! Like you said, it was the same old shit they've been arguing about since they first got together. It feel like the writers suddenly didn't have Reid to frame the entire season around so they brought it Will, because HEAVEN FOR FUCKING BID they show JJ as anything OTHER than a mother/wife.

And now the fandom keeps fawning over Will and Willifer (even people who dislike JJ and have criticised her in the past for not having a personality or story outside of being a wife and mom which wasn’t true until this season imo, but then again some of these people say that JJ doesn’t deserve Will and that he’s the perfect husband so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that they like what this season has done)

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. It's very clear that the cishets are not okay. If women see Billiam GatorTang and think he's the perfect husband after he LIED TO HER ABOUT TEST RESULTS???? KEPT SECRETS ABOUT HIS HEALTH???? Then says 'This is just out marriage, it's always been unfair'.

Hey, HEY if you're a str8 woman and you think this man is a GOOD husband.....you need high standards. I worry for your relationship. If you think lying to your wife and constantly making her feel like her career is the cause of all your marital problems....hey, you need to go to therapy and learn your own worth. That shit is toxic and manipulative and if you look at Shirmplliam Jr and say 'Just like my husband uwu!" SUSAN, I AM BEGGING YOU TO LEAVE YOUR MAN.

I have seen my fair share of FUCKING tomfoolery with this show, remember when AJ and Paget were forced to leave bc CBS refused to pay them what they wanted??? Remember what a shit show it was EACH AND EVERY year for the women of this show??????

Mark my words, if they bring this fucking dude onto the team in some sort of regular capacity, I will be on the next plane to the US so I can burn it all to the fucking ground. Bc JFC I hate where this is going.

[princeofgod-2021]

LIGHT OF LIFE 485

John 1:4

DIVINE ORDER 50: Process Of Marriage 20

Gen 2:24 FOR THIS CAUSE will a man GO AWAY FROM HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE; and they will be one flesh. BBE

NAKED AFTER MARRIAGE 3

I was in a car with a Pastor’s wife, who had asked me along to help with something.

I noticed she was quite jittery as she conversed with me, and each time she changed her gear, she quickly adjusted her skirt helm, in a bid to cover her knees, which was impossible because the skirt was a bit skimpy.

Question is: why did she leave home in that skirt?

Gal 5:17 For THE FLESH HAS DESIRES THAT ARE OPPOSED TO THE SPIRIT, and the Spirit has desires that are opposed to the flesh, for THESE ARE IN OPPOSITION TO EACH OTHER, SO THAT YOU CANNOT DO WHAT YOU WANT. NET

There are sets of Christian women who know it’s wrong to indecently expose themselves in public but in serious struggling with the FLESH, they succumb by “settling” (compromising) with “in-between” dressing, where they are neither outrageously naked nor sanely dressed.

We forget to consider the “Works of the Flesh” and the Motive for its “compulsions”.

Gal 5:19 THE WRONG THINGS THE SINFUL SELF DOES ARE CLEAR: committing sexual sin, being morally bad, DOING ALL KINDS OF SHAMEFUL THINGS, ERV

[Please read in different versions, if you can].

When a woman claims that her husband is the one demanding that she dresses “loosely”, simply understand that both she and her husband are influenced by Mr. Flesh.

The counsel that she should use her dressing and feminine “modes” to keep him at home is outrageous.

We are admitting that there’s an “animal” in him that must be “fed” consistently, or else…

Rom 7:17-19 So I am not the one doing these evil things. The sin that lives in me is what does them. I KNOW THAT MY SELFISH DESIRES WON'T LET ME DO ANYTHING THAT IS GOOD. Even when I want to do right, I cannot. INSTEAD OF DOING WHAT I KNOW IS RIGHT, I DO WRONG. CEV

It is not easy for anyone to “admit” that he/she is “compulsively depraved”, but is it not foolish to rather “attack” Spiritual values?

We chose to [erroneously] cling to the “Liberty of GRACE” instead of battling with the “Works of Mr. Flesh”.

What should we do about fleshly innuendos please?

Col 3:5 DON'T BE CONTROLLED BY YOUR BODY. KILL EVERY DESIRE FOR THE WRONG KIND OF SEX. DON'T BE IMMORAL OR INDECENT OR HAVE EVIL THOUGHTS. Don't be greedy, which is the same as worshiping idols. CEV

The moment anything “permits” you to expose yourself to anyone other than your spouse, whether it is a matter of sharing secrets or not bothering about showing off your body parts, you are under manipulation of “seducing spirits”.

Cry out for deliverance or else…

Gal 5:21B I already warned you that those who use their “freedom” for these things will not inherit the kingdom realm of God! TPT

Now, there is another category of Christian women who “don’t give a damn” what anybody says about their dressing or looks.

It is simply a Gradual Moral Degeneration Syndrome.

If you were in the 1st category but keep arguing without dealing with the Flesh, you soon “graduate” to category 2, where your conscience dies and you forget what “Naked” means.

1Ti 4:1-2 But the Spirit expressly says that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, GIVING HEED TO SEDUCING SPIRITS and teachings of demons, SPEAKING LIES IN HYPOCRISY, BEING SEARED IN THEIR OWN CONSCIENCE, MKJV

A “sister” in my church was rebuked over indecent dressing, and she got infuriated.

Next Sunday, she dressed like Jezebel in defiant rebellion, shouting at anyone that dared to ask her what’s wrong.

She’s daughter to well respected leaders in church.

I am sure you are not surprised. We are having to beg pastor’s wives these days to dress a little less to “kill”.

Gal 5:24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their corrupt nature along with its passions and desires. GW

My wife told me recently, that a teenager screamed at her mother who sewed a dress with one arm for her. She exclaimed: “how could you expect me, a Christian child, to wear that?”.

If we’ve dealt with the “adamic nature”, a married woman would be ashamed to show even her shoulder in public.

May God keep Sanity in our homes, IN JESUS NAME.

Come back on Wednesday, as we proceed in digging into this inspiring Subtopic.

Brother Prince

Monday, March 18, 2024

08055125517; 08023904307

[sugarylawliet]

no good for me (light yagami x reader)

i’m back lol

> warnings: smut, degradation, spit kink, inappropriate use of the death note, VERY toxic relationship, song fic kinda, lyrics are in bold and italics, based off of diet mountain dew by lana del ray

> tag list: @ygm1slt @cradiot28

❛ you’re no good for me, baby you’re no good for me ❜

Nothing on this earth scared you more than the man you were about to see; the pretty boy brunette flaunting good grades and a picturesque family life whose facade of ambitious, respectful young man was a mask almost no one could see through. Some people felt dread at the thought of spiders or snakes, felt fear in their stomach imagining the paranormal, shadow ghosts or criminal stalkers invading their comfort zones. None of these perfectly rational fears scared you the way Light Yagami scared you. There was no fear to be had at the thought of something undesirable creeping its way into your privacy or comfort zone, because Light had manipulated his way into your comfort and trust long ago. He was scarier than a murderer ready to kill at an urge’s call, his blood lust hid in shadows behind his golden boy facade, his words were tools and his touches were negotiations. You couldn’t trust a single thing that came from his mouth, you often questioned your own sanity. Light Yagami had a terrifying grip on you, and it was exactly what he wanted.

Your eyes scan over the text Light had sent you for the millionth time, the words almost ingrained in your head at this point.

Come to my house. We need to talk. 

You were sure he kept his words vague on purpose, yet another tactic to keep you at his disposal out of pure fear. You weren’t exactly sure if you loved Light anymore; what was your definition of love at this point? You loved him, yes, but was it out of obligation? Was it survival instinct?

It was true, in the beginning you had loved Light purely and truly. You believed his ambition was justice, to make the world a better and safer place for you. But as time went on, “Kira doesn’t kill innocents” began racking up more and more exceptions, and as the twisted justifications spilled from his mouth, so did the gaslighting. Over and over, his sweet words convinced you to keep coming back. His empty promises were a drug and you were addicted. 

His text, you were sure, was a reference to this fizzling out of your love for him. He could sense it, and surely he must have found out you were planning on leaving. You weren’t planning on revealing that he’s Kira- that would cause more commotion you were not interested in being a part of- no, you simply wanted to move states, get away and forget about Light Yagami, forget about Kira and Ryuzaki and Ryuk and everything that has overtaken your life. However, if he did find out your plans to skip town, you may just have to reveal that he’s Kira for safety measures.

❛ you’re no good for me, but baby i want you ❜

Hestiently, you opened the door you had been staring at blankly for what felt like hours. Light had been staying in an upscale hotel during the investigation, so maybe the other tenants could hear you if you screamed for help; the overdramatic thought brought you comfort. 

You walk in the room, closing the door behind you. You’re met with the sight of Light’s back as he sits in the rolling chair across the room. In the absence of any words, without even seeing his face, you know he’s mad. Every slight change of Light’s emotions could strangle a whole room by tension alone; his aura manipulated the feeling in the air, which served as a helpful alarm to know when he is upset. And man, is he upset.

You open your mouth to greet him, but he cuts you off, spinning around in his chair to face you, “Don’t talk.” You nod and close your mouth. Why do you even listen to what he says?

“I knew I couldn’t trust you. From the very beginning I knew you would run that pretty little mouth of yours. I know you’re planning on leaving. And then what? Telling the first news outlet you see that I’m Kira?”

“No Light,”

“I said don’t talk.” He stands up from his chair, “If you tell everyone, you’ll also have to tell on yourself. Imagine what everyone would think of you if they knew...You knew I was Kira and you still dated me, you defended me, you kept my secret, you even got on your knees for me. Are you gonna tell that to the media? That you let Kira fuck you?”

You purse your lips, restraining yourself from talking back. You knew it would only make things worse, but you couldn’t stand the way he talked down on you and expected you to take it. 

“Come here.” He motioned to his desk and you followed, sitting on his lap per his instruction. He placed the death note open on the desk, handing you the pen. With one hand gripping yours and the other on your hip, he began to guide your hand, the pen spilling out the first letter of your name on the pages.

❛ do you think we’ll be in love forever? ❜

“N-No, Light, you can’t do this, please.” You begged, your heart rate quickening as you realize what he was doing. It can’t end like this, it just can’t.

“Shhh, just write. That’s it, baby. This is what bad girls get, you see?” His death grip tightened on your hand as he spelled out your name, the last letters leering closer and closer before you could register the implications of what he was doing. This was it, this was really it.

Light lets his free hand wander up to your jawline, pulling your face closer to yours and enveloping you in a kiss as he wrote the last letter of your name. You shake your head with a whine, however he disregards your concerns and runs his hand on your upper thigh. 

“What’s the matter, Y/n? Don’t wanna spend your last moments with me?~” His nose kisses your neck, and the soft, sensual gestures almost make you forget your life was quite literally slipping away at every second that ticked by. 40 seconds. You had 40 seconds to do something.

You jump off of Light’s lap, reality rushing to your lungs as you felt your world closing in. Your pants become heavier, harsh air ripping through your throat as if they were the last breaths you would ever take because, well- they were.

Your head felt buzzing and dizzy as you fell to your knees, crawling towards Light who had spun around in his chair so his back was facing you; completely apathetic. After all you’ve been through together, after all you’ve done for him, nothing. Nothing at all. 

You crawl closer, grasping towards the notebook Light held in his hands, your weakness limiting your reach as anxiety stole your clearness of mind. He only  chuckles at your meek attempts to save your own life. Your head was racing as your nervousness blacked out everything in the room except for the little black notebook your boyfriend had a death grip on; ‘I’m running out of time, I’m going to die, I need the death note, I need to cross my name out, I need it I need it I need it I-’

“Goodbye, Y/N. You were fun to play with for a while.” Light kisses your nose with an arrogant smirk, peeling your hands off from his lap and wrists before checking his watch, signaling your last few seconds. 

You quit your pitiful attempts to grab the notebook and instead push yourself further and further away from Light until your back hit the wall, lacing your fingers tightly in your hair as you cried your last moments away. 

“5, 4, 3 2...” Light spoke.

“No no no no no, please god,” You cried out, squeezing your eyes shut in preparation for the pangs you would soon feel in your chest.

“1...”

And

Nothing.

You breathe. You let the air flood your lungs; it shouldn’t be possible. You dare to open your eyes, revealing the same scene. You, pathetically on the floor with tears down your face, Light before you in his chair with his head thrown back in a maniacal laugh. 

He tossed the death note down to you, like a dog being thrown a bone. You frantically grab it and flip to the newest page, your name scratched out with two thick lines. 

You were alive- no, he let you live.

❛ hit me my darling tonight, i don’t know why but i like it

“Well?” Light asks expectingly, standing up from his chair and kicking it to the side of the room. You look up at him questioningly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as tears still brimmed your eyes from the just-curved anxiety attack.

“No ‘thank you’? I spared your life even after you betrayed me- lied to me. You’re so ungrateful.”

“I, I-” You found it difficult to shape your words with your hitching breath. You inhale deeply, eyes closed, calming down, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Light.”

Why were you even apologizing?

“I’m so sorry, please, just take me back. I’m sorry.” The words spilled from your mouth so quickly simply because they felt right. You needed to apologize, you did wrong, you need to be good. You wanted him back more than anything so you can be good.

❛ scary, my god, you’re divine ❜

“That’s right,” Light smiled, his voice softening unnaturally, “Now, how about you come over here and show me just how sorry you are.”

You hesitate for a second before crawling over to him. You sit obediently with your legs beneath your thighs on the floor in front of him.

“Mm, that’s my babygirl.” He pets your head affectionately, coherencing a smile from you. Despite everything he’s done, he always knew how to reel you back in. You needed the approval. You needed his approval.

You look up at him with puppydog eyes, to which he cocks his head to the side. “You know what I want.”

Nodding, you slowly unzipper his khaki pants and pull out his cock. You run your hand up and down, pumping it slowly. 

“Don’t be a fucking tease” Light scoffs, raking his fingers through your hair and forcing your mouth down onto him. That sweet, caring demeanor was gone in barley a second- of course it was. What were you expecting? It was a thinly veiled facade and you fell for it everytime without exception. 

Light groans, pushing your head further onto him as you try not to gag. You feel the tip of him hit the back of your throat as he thrusts into your mouth faster. “God, Y/N, you take my cock so well. Hah, if only the media could see you now. Poor little Y/N wants to run away from big bad Kira, meanwhile here she is on her knees for him, sucking him off like the dirty slut she is.”

He lets out a deep sigh before pulling out of your mouth. “Be useful for once and get on the bed.” He commands, bringing you to your feet with his strong grip on your hair and pushing you in the direction of the bed. You obey, sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for his next instruction.

Light slinks over to you, standing over your figure as his delicate fingers dance up your inner thigh. He takes off your skirt and slowly rubs your clit through the fabric of your panties.

“Mmm, Light, more...” You buck your hips up to meet his touch, his movements were agonizingly slow and you needed more friction.

“More?” At once he removes his hand from between your legs and grabs your face, your jaw in between the tight hold of his thumb and forefingers. “You want more, huh? You don’t get to make demands of me. You really think i’m gonna give you what you want after that stunt you pulled? Hah, I’m not letting you off that easy.”

You let out a whine, bucking your hips again asking to be touched.

“Aww, poor baby...” Light cooed, “Open up.” You obeyed, opening your mouth before Light brought your face closer to his, spitting in your mouth. “Now swallow.”

You do, earning a smirk from Light. “Mm, good girl. Good girls get rewarded.”

He pulls your panties aside before dipping two slender fingers inside you; wasting no time, he pumps them in and out frantically.

“Oh god Light, fuck,”

“You’re so wet for me Y/N, you like this, don’t you? I knew you would, such a dirty whore. You like when I treat you like this? You like being treated for the slut you are? God, you probably got wet when I almost killed you. It makes me hard, having you under my thumb like this, under my control...”

“Fuck Light, it feels so good, I’m close...”

Quickly, he removes his fingers from you once again, earning a cry from you at the loss of heat. “Please Light, I need you so bad,” You beg.

“What did I say? You’re still not forgiven for that stunt you pulled. Don’t whine.” He wraps his hand around your throat, pushing you down onto your back.

He fully pulls his boxers down, aligning himself with your entrance.

“Beg for it.”

“Please, please light, god, I need it so badly. I want you.”

“Hmm, yeah? You’re so desperate for my cock? I’m not convinced.”

“Please, Light, I’ll never be bad again, I’ll never mess up again. I need your cock so badly, I need you to use me. Do anything you want.”

“Mm, that’s more like it,” Light remarks before pushing into you, earning a loud moan. HIs thrusts were slow, no doubt teasing you.

“Oh, Light, please, faster...”

“More demands? God, you’re such a needy slut. Fine.” His grip on your throat tightens, pushing you further into the bed as he snaps his hips into you without mercy. His pace is relentless, quickly finding your g-spot.

“Fuck, Light. It... it feels- fuck,”

“Hah, stupid slut, what’s wrong? Cat’s got your tongue? Or is it me fucking you so hard you can’t even think straight, can’t form sentences?”

His words only egg on your approaching orgasam, “Hmmph, it- it feels so good. I’m gonna...”

With that, Light pulls you up slightly by your neck before slamming you roughly back into the bed, thrusting into you with speed. “Cum, show me how sorry you are.”

You obey, releasing with a loud moan of his name. He finishes soon after, roughly letting go of your throat. “Clean yourself up. You look like a fucking mess.”

You slip your panties and skirt back on as Light sits apathetically at his desk, his focus buried in paperwork. You heart skinks to your stomach. 

Once you finish dressing, Light allows you to leave, informing you of the Kira case work he had to finish and opening the door for you. 

“And Y/N,” He catches your attention before you step into the hallway of the hotel, “Let this be a lesson. Don’t ever try to leave me again. You’re mine.” He grabs your jaw and kisses you tenderly- but you weren’t stupid. You knew the motivation behind it, and let you still kissed his soft lips back and let yourself melt into him. 

“Goodbye,” He remarks after pulling away, “Behave yourself.”. The door slams in your face. 

You can still feel his cum dripping from your heat daring to spill out of your panties. The hallway was empty, allowing reality to rush to you at once. Your senses only seem clear when you were alone- with Light, you didn’t see with your own eyes or hear with your own ears.

You let your back touch the door of Light’s hotel room, slowly sliding down until you were sitting on the carpeted floor. Your life was broken pieces and you cut yourself picking up the glass shards, relishing in the fact that your boyfriend liked the way the blood looked on your pricked fingers.

❛  hurt me and tell me you’re mine, i don’t know why but i like it. ❜

[chaucer-blackwood]

I was wondering. What's your view of the conflict that happened between Team RWBY and Ozpin? Either an in universe view or meta view (like how they are written and how well)

This is one of those "hot topic" things in the fandom, isn't it? Alright, I'll play.

Ozpin was an ass. But he was an ass for an understandable reason.

Before anything else, I think we really, really need to remember what we, those of us who were already in the fandom at that point and had been for some time, were actually thinking.

People seem to have forgotten that for a long, long time leading up to the premiere of The Lost Fable, there was a popular theory that Ozpin might've actually been responsible for Salem; that his actions in the past somehow screwed her over and gave her a justifiable grudge against him. A few were honestly speculating that he was actually evil, a hidden villain who'd been puppeteering the heroes all along for his own ends.

Theories about him sending Summer to her death or being responsible for this or that villain's origin story were rampant for the entirety of the first five volumes. That's five full years real-world time, guys.

In Volume 6, chapter 2, when Team RWBY go after him like they do, fed up with his secret-keeping and demanding he finally gives them answers, that's not just them being unreasonable abusers so many want to paint them as; it's not even solely the justified emotional response of people sick of being lied to: It's exactly what the audience wanted to see.

We all, at the time, wanted exactly this; we wanted Ozpin called out for his secret-keeping, and we wanted his secrets spilled out in the open, and the fact that he was resisting and fighting tooth and nail against it just made us that much more insatiable to know what secrets he was keeping.

Because, hey, if he's that determined to hide it, it must be really bad right?

And then... it's really not. Turns out he was easily the biggest victim in that whole mess. A victim of Salem, arguably a victim of the Brothers (that's an entirely different conversation).

Perceptions shift. We finally see the man behind the curtain, and it's not at all what we expect. Suddenly Ozpin's not the secretive mastermind cunningly manipulating the heroes, he's not even the brilliant mentor slyly guiding them along his plan to victory; he's a sad broken man barely holding the world together, lonely and terrified of yet more betrayal. So terrified he'll lie to his own allies to keep them from abandoning him (again).

Another problem actually arises here: people see Team RWBY's reaction as not flowing naturally from what they just witnessed. There's an incongruity here, and it bears elaboration: we already knew Salem was immortal. Or at least, we assumed it. It had never been outright stated in the series, but I think most people were pretty clear that if Salem could be killed by any conventional means, it would've happened already. We didn't know the extent of her immortality, or the cause, but was anyone actually shocked to learn that she can't simply be killed?

Out of everything we learn, that is the single least-surprising element of the entire story. So, when it becomes clear that Team RWBY thought Salem could theoretically be killed like any other Grimm, it doesn't really follow for the audience. Then that's the thing the show chooses to focus on like it's a shocking reveal, when to the audience it really doesn't feel like one. From Team RWBY's perspective, they've been risking their lives for what just turned out to be an impossible mission, and that emotional reaction overrides sympathy for Ozpin's motives, and they've heard enough people claiming he's untrustworthy that they're as primed to believe the worst as we were. But because the audience fully expected some form of "She can't easily be killed" to come up, well, it doesn't sit that way for the audience, who will be focusing far more on Ozpin's tragic story. So from they're perspective, Team RWBY are completely unjustified in their anger.

[angstymdzsthoughts]

(1/?) Bcz of his absences during akuma attacks & his hero life taking up more time, WWX’s ‘suspicious’ behaviour is soon noticed by YZY. She suspects he’s causing trouble (ex: drugs, smoking, harassing, cat-calling etc.) and after a particularly nasty akuma + the fact that he once again did smthg better than JC + JFM’s lengthy absence, she snaps and kicks him out of the house.

(2/?) WWX tells himself it’s ok, now he can do hero work 24/7. YZY lies to JFM & authorities, claiming he ran away. NHS suspects smthg (he alrdy more or less knows everyone’s secret IDs tbh) and investigates. But WWX insists it’s ok and not worth it, they had bigger problems anyways & he can’t abuse his power (plus, he’s secretly glad to be away from such a toxic household).

(3/?) WN offers him a place to stay & LWJ, JZX and NHS keep it a secret. They continue to be heroes, fighting akumas but they’re getting stronger and harder to defeat. One day, YZY gets akumatized and boi, she is a STRONG ASF akuma due to all that pent up bitterness and resentment. She becomes the Violet Spider and wreaks hell on the heroes. Unfortunately, JYL & JC are caught in the crossfire.

(4/?) Just before YZY could kill her own kids, WWX pushes them out of the way and gets hurt. Fatally. Even worse, his timer runs out and he detransforms; caught live on the news. LWJ screams, rips YZY’s spider leg off and carries WWX away but it’s too late. WWX used the last of his energy to purify the akuma & cast miraculous cure at the cost of his life. Everyone in the city heard LWJ’s anguished cries.

(5/?) A funeral is held, NHS casting illusions of their herosonas so they could attend too. When the Jiangs arrive, LWJ SNAPS. He calls out YZY on her abuse, JC on his entitlement, JFM & JYL on their passivity. He calls YZY for lying to the authorities and revealed she purposefully left WWX to fend for himself on the streets again.

(6/?) LWJ has to be physically restrained but it did make the police finally look into YZY and arrest her for child/domestic abuse & murder. But LWJ feels it’s not enough. After all, if WWX wasn’t a hero, would anyone have cared? Not too long ago, everyone in their school spat on his name but now shed tears and sang praises of him as though he was a close friend.

(7/?) Then LQR suggests him, WQ or JYL becomes the new Ladybug but the wound is still too raw (he just lost his zhiji, did his uncle see him and WWX as expendable child soldiers?). He runs away and goes to weep over WWX’s grave, regrets never making his feelings clear when he had the chance. Then someone arrives- his own father. He reveals his mother’s body and offers (manipulates) him to share the wish to bring both their loved ones back.

(8/?) LWJ agrees and lets himself be akumatized. He goes back to dig up WWX’s body (to be preserved like his mother's) but WN catches him. They fight, NHS & JZX also join to help but are no match against him. LWJ was always the most skilled; combined with the akumatization, he was leagues ahead. He tore through WN's shield, knew NHS's tricks and was a better fighter than JZX. Finally, he saw his beloved. Some magic had rubbed off on WWX, preserving his body & beauty, much to his relief.

(9/?) His uncle & brother went into hiding, knowing they’ve lost LWJ. He goes on a rampage- he made sure to torture YZY, made her feel every ounce of pain, suffering & fear she put WWX (a mere child) through. He ended her misery by slicing her into pieces with his qin strings and rearranging her body into a macabre kowtowing position (as if begging for forgiveness) before WWX’s past grave. Soon, more victims joined (ex: JFM, JC, Jin Zixun, Su She, Teacher Yao; JYL was the only Jiang spared).

(continuation of ML AU) (10/?) LXC takes up the ladybug mantle and confronts him but it isn’t enough bcz 1. this is his baby brother, he still(optimistically, naively) has hope for him & 2. LWJ knows LXC will hesitate, he’s too soft-hearted, he’s pragmatic enough to use that to his advantage. He pretended to be hurt, got LXC to drop his guard, then ripped the earrings off. Before leaving, he told LXC the secret LQR kept from them.

(11/?) Both sets complete, a wish is made. As the light envelopes them, LWJ tenderly caresses WWX’s cheek and kisses him, promising it’ll all be over soon and this time, he’ll do better. He’ll do right by him. Everything will be right and just at last, as it should be.

(12/12) Thus, it’s the dawn of a new day. LWJ goes to school, hangs out with JZX, WN, NHS & WWX, study at his home under the guidance of his stern uncle and father, his patient brother & his kind mother, and then play video games at WWX’s home (filled with warmth & love by a now alive Cangse Sanren & Wei Changze). Before leaving, WWX being the loving bf he is, gives LWJ a tender goodbye kiss. As for the Jiangs well, how can you find answers for someone who never existed?

[maddiwrites]

Let Me Go

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Summary: This was requested! Y/N still lives with the Cameron’s following the death of her brother, but she’s being held there against her will. After many failed escape attempts, Y/N finally gets out of Figure Eight, but she’s far from safe. (The request was long so I’m going to link it here so you can see the full summary of what anon wanted!)

Note: I’m sorry this took so long to get out!!! I literally had half of it written and then it all deleted and I’m so upset because my first attempt at writing it was better but oh well. I hope you like it. Again, sorry for the long wait!

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: MENTIONS OF DRUG ABUSE, CHILD NEGLECT, GUN VIOLENCE, ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THESE TOPICS TRIGGER YOU. PLEASE. SUICIDE HOTLINE: 800-273-8255

Masterlist

You weren’t always like this - sitting up in your unmade bed, staring at the blank wall in front of you like you could see through it, unshowered, trembling from your shoulders down to your toes, feeling empty from the inside out. 

You forget what it’s like to be free. Following the death of your brother, you’ve been trapped like a rat in a cage. Figure Eight is no longer the luxurious part of the island to you. It’s filled with lies, manipulation, secrets, murder. 

You’re still living at the Cameron’s. No, not living. Surviving. Ward refused to give his guardianship of you up. Some people wondered why - why would Ward want to live with the sister of a murderer? Yeah, that’s what they thought - that your brother killed Sheriff Peterkin and tried to kill Ward too. But you knew why.

Ward no longer treats you like a member of his family. He has you locked in your designated room on the third floor that’s basically only used as an attic and storage area. Your own personal prison. Because you know what he did - not only to your brother and his daughter but to your dad. 

You felt like you were losing grasps of reality. You only knew fall was approaching because you could hear Wheezy talking about it to Rose outside your door. You guess the time of day by the sunlight through your window and the meals brought to your room. 

Of course there have been times you tried to escape. You managed to run away a few times. The first time, you went straight to the police station and tried telling them that Ward was keeping you trapped in his home. Of course they didn’t believe you. Instead, they called Ward to come pick you up. He told the police that you’ve been experiencing delusions since the death of your brother. Without a second thought, they believed him and ignored your cries for help completely. The second time, you tried going to Kie’s, but the police found you first and brought you back to Ward’s now that they think you’re going through some kind of mental breakdown. 

By now, you’re exhausted. You’re tired of fighting and arguing and screaming. You feel empty inside, craving some sort of release or embrace of comfort. You haven’t seen your Pogues in weeks, maybe months. You wonder if they still think about you. Do they blame you for leaving John B to go off by himself with Sarah? Do they hate you?

Not only is living inside an enclosed box hard enough, but dealing with the loss of your brother, friend, and father, is killing you inside. You can’t help but feel guilty that you weren’t with them. You and your brother were supposed to be partners in crime and you totally let him go off on his own. You feel like you abandoned him and that keeps you up at night. 

Since your ways of coping are limited, you’re not proud to say you found an unhealthy way of relieving your pain. 

When you were first locked up, you would scream and kick the door that hid you from the rest of the world, begging for anyone in the house to let you go. Never did it work, but one time Rafe got extremely fed up and raced upstairs to make you shut up. You didn’t know it, but Rafe was on the verge of a breakdown himself. His dad complete shut him out as he tried to fix the damage he caused. He assumed Sarah was dead. And Barry basically owned him, making him do all his dirty work. Maybe he deserved it, but he didn’t live a luxurious life either despite living in Figure Eight.

You took a couple steps back when you heard heavy footsteps approaching your door. Rafe quickly undid the locks and barged in so fast that he almost knocked you down. 

“Oh my god. Do you ever shut the fuck up?” Rafe was breathing hard and quickly getting red in the face. You stumbled backwards, suddenly afraid of being alone with him. 

You sniffled. “I need to get out of here.”

“You’re not leaving.”

“Please, Rafe. You got to get me out of here. Please!” You never thought you’d be here, begging Rafe of all people for help. Yet here you were. With no other choices left.

Rafe paced the room and raked his fingers through his hair. “You do realize you're not the only one going through something, right?”

You swallowed back your tears and scoffed at the Kook in front of you. “Seriously? Your family is keeping me locked in here like some kind of zoo animal! My brother is dead -”

“Sarah is too!”

“But that’s not my fault!” You screamed. You pointed an accusatory finger in his direction. “That’s yours!” Rafe froze and turned to look at you. You didn’t know where you grew the balls to keep going but you did. “I know what you did. I know what your dad is trying to cover up. And he’s using my brother to do it.” You saw Rafe’s adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed. “Why do you think your dad is keeping me locked in here?”

“Shit,” Rafe cursed. Now he knew why his dad gave him strict instructions to never come up to your room. He started shaking his his head and shaking in his skin. “I didn’t mean to - I - I - it happened so fast.”

You could go on and on about how Rafe would never be able to dig himself out of this hole. How he will never be able to convince you that he wasn’t guilty. But you didn’t. Because he’s the only one who could help you.

“Rafe, please,” You begged. “I won’t say anything. I just need to get out of here.”

Rafe sniffled back his own tears and fears and looked out the one window that looked out into the backyard of his home. He couldn’t let you go. He knew it was selfish, but he had to save himself. 

“I can’t,” Rafe said.

A new wave of tears hit you and you felt defeated. You fell back on your bed and cried into your hands, hunched over above your knees. 

“I’m sorry,” Rafe said, but his apology was as empty as you feel. 

“Just go,” You rubbed your eyes hard enough to see stars. 

You hear something light hit the bed next to you. “I know it’s not much. But this helps me get through all this messed up shit.”

When you didn’t look at him or whatever he gave you, he took that as a hint to leave and quietly left the room. You listened to each lock being fastened again, each one leaving a crack in your heart. 

Rafe offered you something you should have never taken. A small baggie filled with fine white powder. You should have never even considered it. Drugs were never your thing. You wouldn’t even smoke with JJ when he offered a hit of whatever he was smoking. But the idea of anything taking your pain away enticed you.

And that’s how you ended up here. Broken, alone, and craving something only Rafe could supply you with. Literally. He came around every so often, sliding a small baggie under the door for you. It was the closest thing you and Rafe had to a friendship. 

Today was particularly a bad day. It was dark and rainy outside and you remembered John B’s birthday should be quickly approaching. You missed him. God, did you miss him. You would do anything to hear his voice again or steal his clothes or go surfing in the ocean with him. 

You trudged out of bed towards your dresser that held a faint line of coke left over from yesterday. With a one dollar bill, you sniffed the rest of it up your nose and blinked back the sting of tears that pricked your eyes after you did it. A rush of energy sparked up your body, through your toes and up to your head. You immediately felt lighter and that the world was spinning a little faster. But with that rush came a surge of emotions. You went from being sad to being angry real fast. 

You hated Ward. You hated Shoupe. You hated this house.  You hated Kooks. You hated yourself. You hated everything about the Outer banks. You just wanted to leave. 

You find the closest thing to you, a small makeup mirror, and smash it against one of the locks on the door. You’ve done this hundreds of times and by now the door was scratched and bruised from your abuse, but you didn’t care. You didn’t feel the glass of the mirror slice into your skin as you continued to bang it on the metal lock. You didn’t care if Ward and the others heard you throwing another temper tantrum. You just wanted out.

When you felt the lock stumble to the side of the door, you froze in your place. You stared at the broken lock, wondering if this was all a dream or a hallucination from your high. “No fucking way,” You mumbled. You looked down at the door knob and repeated the same movements until the handle completely fell off and clattered to the floor. 

You dropped the mirror and stuck two fingers through the hole in the door where the door knob use to be. While holding your breath, you slowly pulled the door open and couldn’t believe when it moved without any hiccup. 

You never thought that you would get this far, and now that you were here, you didn’t know what to do. You felt scared. Cautiously, you stuck your head out to make sure no one was in the hallway. When the coast was clear, you tip toed throughout the house, listening to the eery silence that filled it. No one was home. 

When you passed Rafe’s room, you stopped. You were out of supply and you needed more. Rafe owed you anyway, you told yourself. So you ransacked his room. Found about four more small baggies and stuffed them in your pocket before leaving.

As you walk through the halls, you pass Ward’s office and paused. It was open and unlocked. Even before all this shit happened, you never remember it being this way. You didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was the adrenaline from another escape attempt or maybe it was the cocaine, but you walked yourself into that office and looked around. 

You cursed at all the accomplishments hanging on his wall, the trophies, and expensive relics of random shit. His desk was neat and orderly despite the major crime he was trying to cover up. You sat yourself in his chair, trying to imagine what it felt like to be him. Motherfucker probably felt like a king. 

You went through his drawers, thumbing through random files you had no business looking through - most of it work related stuff and banking information. You tucked that one in your pocket for later. 

Then you hear something thump against the drawer when you pull it out. A revolver. Small and silver. Cold against your fingertips. You breath hitched as you brought it up to your face. It felt like you were holding a bomb. An object that could change your life forever. Another fresh set of tears threatened to roll down your face but you shook them away. No. No more being sad. 

You shut the drawer hard and walked out with a couple new items in your possession.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The Pogues were spending another dreary day at The Wreck. The September sun might be out, but their spirits were down. Two of their best friends are dead and the other is trapped with two murderers. They were scared for you and have tried everything to get you back. They tried talking to the cops, they tried breaking her out. But each times the cops got in the way. They were running out of hope. At this point, they didn’t even know if they would ever see you again. They just hoped you were okay. They knew you tried escaping a few times and prayed that you would eventually get yourself out of there soon.

“JJ, you gotta eat,” Kie sighed as she watched JJ play with the fries in front of him. If anyone was handing it the worst, it was JJ. Both John B and Y/N were his best friends first. Hell, he was in love with Y/N. Had been since the sixth grade. One of his biggest regrets is that he never told you. Now he didn’t know if he ever would. 

“’M not hungry,” JJ mumbled. 

The door above the restaurant entrance rang as a couple of police officers walked in for their lunch break. The group of three glared at them as they walked in with their cocky stride and their hand resting on their tasers and guns as if everyone should be scared of them. 

“Fucking cops can’t do their goddamn job,” JJ sat back in his seat and flicked one of his fries down on the table. He hated them. More than he ever had. He couldn’t believe these people took an oath to protect this county. Fucking cowards, all of them. 

“Fucking assholes,” Kie said and watched her father approach them with a friendly smile. 

Pope snapped up when an idea popped into his head. “Sarah’s sister.”

“What?” Kie’s brows furrowed. 

“School starts next week,” Pope explained. “She’s starting high school, right? What if you tried talking to her? Maybe you can -”

Pope paused when he heard the sound of the police radios echoing off the walls from their belts. 

“Code10-92. Runaway teen last reported on Baker’s Street. Proceed with caution. Last seen wearing black sports shorts and a white tank. Suspect may be armed and dangerous.”

JJ’s head snapped back to his friends with his brows pinched together. Could this be you? Could you have made it out again? But what did armed and dangerous mean? That didn’t sound like you.

Shoupe radioed back to the station. “On our way.”

The officers dropped ten dollars in the tip jar before charging out the door to go to their vehicles. 

“We gotta go,” JJ stood up first and stuffed his phone and keys into his pocket. The other two nod and follow him out the door. If that call was about you, they wanted to find you before the cops did. “Okay. Kie, go home. She tried going to your house last time. Maybe she’ll try that again. Pope, go to Heyward’s. She trusts your dad. She might try to find him for help.”

“Where are you going to go?” Pope asked. 

“Everywhere else.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

You trudged through your old home with heavy feet. Nothing in there felt familiar to you - like it belonged to you in another life time. You first went to your room and stared at the girl in the mirror. You didn’t recognize her. Bones sticking out of your skin, dark bags under the eyes, and cracked lips and dry skin. 

Without thinking, you took the gun that’s still in your hand and smashed it against the glass, shattering it all around you. 

Ignoring the stinging in your hands from the shallow cuts on your skin, you moved on to the next room. Your brother’s room. It looked like a tornado made its way through here. Everything was tossed and turned from the police and FBI ransacking it during their search for John B. Nothing felt like it was John B’s anymore. Nothing felt private. And that pissed you off. 

Next you went to your dad’s office, somewhere you haven’t been since you found the compass. Even now, it felt like you weren’t supposed to be in here. If you believed in an afterlife, you would think your dad would be shaking his head at you. 

The office looked like John B’s room did. Whatever belonged to your dad now belonged to the state. The only things left were random files and belongings the police didn’t find of importance. But they were important to you. 

The first thing you found was a picture in a cracked frame of you, your dad, and your brother from when you were ten. Your dad was holding both of you as you blew out the candles on a birthday cake. Looking at the picture, you felt your heart being shredded apart. The picture only brought back pain and grief. You wanted that happiness back that ten year old you portrayed in that picture. But you can’t have it. Ever again.

A cry ripped through your throat as you chucked the picture across the room. From there, you went on a rampage, throwing and kicking anything that was in your way. You took one of the baggies out of your pocket and dumped it on the desk in front of you. Without any precision, you fixed the lines up with your finger and took a long whiff. You gripped the roots of your hair and tugged as you sobbed loudly and felt one of the biggest headaches explode in your brain. 

You paced back and forth in the office with the gun held in your shaky hands. You were mumbling to yourself about your options and how horrible of a sister and daughter you were for leaving your family behind. You wanted to see them. You wanted to be with them and prove to them you never meant to abandon them. 

You didn’t hear the door to the Chateau open or the sound of footsteps following your cries. It wasn’t until you heard his soft, delicate voice that you turned around and stared at your best friend with wide eyes and a startled expression. 

“Y/N...” JJ breathed out. He didn’t see the gun yet. He just saw you, crying and broken and not looking like the girl he knew only a few months ago. 

“What are you doing here?” He didn’t recognize your voice either. Hoarsed and scared. “You’re not supposed to be here!”

“The cops are looking for you! Okay? We need to get you out of here!”

“I’m not leaving!”

“What?” JJ looked at you like you grew two heads. “What are you talking about. We -”

“No! I said I’m not leaving! Agh!” Your hands flew up to your pulsating head and gripped at your hair again. The pounding in your head was excruciating and wouldn’t go away. Between the cocaine, your cries, and the exhaustion, you didn’t think it would ever go away. 

That’s when JJ saw the gun and took a shocking step back. His hands immediately flew up in surrender and he gulped down his nerves. Now he knew why the cops had called you armed and dangerous. Probably because Ward reported a stolen gun. JJ never knew you to be a violent person. It wasn’t in you. You couldn’t even hurt a fly. Which meant you didn’t steal this gun to hurt someone else. But probably...

Then his eyes flickered to the desk where he saw the reside of white powder next to an empty baggie. Now he was petrified because he didn’t know how to get through to you - if he even could get through to you.

“Y/N, baby. Put the gun down.”

“No,” You shook you head. “No, no, no. I need to see them. I need to see my dad and John B!”

“Y/n...”

“I should’ve gone with them. I should’ve - I - I didn’t mean to leave. I’m so-sorry, John B. I’m so sorry.” You were a mess. Tears and snot and running all over your red and puffy face. 

JJ kept looking between you and the gun. His only comfort was that he knew you didn’t know how to use it. You wouldn’t even touch the one he stole from Scooter Grubs. But that didn’t mean accidents couldn’t happen.

“I can’t do it anymore,” You continued. “I can’t go back there. I won’t. I won’t. I just want to see my dad.”

JJ took a hesitant step closer to you and nodded his head, keeping his hands up. “Okay. Okay. What if I helped you see your dad?”

“H-How?” You hiccuped. JJ didn’t know where he was going with this. He just knew he had to get that gun out of your hand. He took another step closer to you, but this one made you jump back. “No! No! Stay away!”

“Okay, okay!” JJ yelled back at you. “Hey. I’m here to help you, okay? Whatever you want to do.”

“I want to see them. I want to say sorry. I - I’m so sorry.”

“Y/N, they’re not mad at you-”

“I’m sorry, daddy, I -”

With you distracted, JJ took the opportunity to run at you and tackle you to the ground. He ignored the pang in his heart when he heard you cry harder, wondering if he hurt you, but he cared more about keeping you alive. He wrestled the gun out of your hands and quickly emptied the cartridge. He chucked the multiple pieces across the room and wrapped himself around your crumpled body.

“No! No!” You shrieked in JJ’s shoulder and gripped onto his shirt for dear life. “Please! Let me go!” 

JJ held on to your crumbling body as you wracked with sobs. Exhaustion quickly took over you as the adrenaline slowly vanished out of your system. Your throat was on fire from all the crying and the screaming. Your chest felt empty and your lungs heavy. All you wanted was to close your eyes and never open them again.

JJ couldn’t hold back his own silent tears as they ran down his cheeks. He hated seeing you like this. And he hated even more that he didn’t know how to help you.

“It’s going to be okay,” He said as he brushed the hair out of your face. He kissed the top of your head with his soft lips and kept mumbling into your head. “You’re going to be okay. I’m never leaving your side again. It’s going to be okay.”

He didn’t know if he was trying to convince you or himself. He jus knew he had to make you believe it.

About ten minutes later, he felt your body relax against his. When he found you fast asleep, he pulled out his phone and texted Kie to pick the two of you up. 

Until Kie got there, he stared at the delicate skin on your face with such admiration. Rage bubbled through this veins as the ideas of what you possibly went through in the that hell hole in Figure Eight. 

He knew it was going to be a long road to recovery. He knew there was a lot of fixing that needed to be done. But he made a promise that he will never let you out of his sights again. Because today was a close call. And he never wanted you to be that close to death ever again.

[bowtiesandflutes]

How You Met

First Doctor

You were a Thal he had met on the group's first trip to Skaro. You noticed the tension in the group and tried to ease it, talking to the Doctor who called you a 'silly girl' but you never took offense. You knew he was rough around the edges, but he did care about Susan, although he had shown it in the worst of ways. You helped them escape Skaro and left him with parting words that stuck with him centuries later.

Second Doctor

You were the wife of Ramón Salamander and met the Doctor when he impersonated him, but you could see through it immediately. "We need to warn him!" Victoria whispered to Jamie who nodded in agreement, grinning when he saw you appear in the doorway. He knew they had to warn the Doctor, but he would enjoy his reaction.

"Oh Ramón, you have finally returned!" You walked towards the man you believed was your husband, kissing him passionately. He froze in the beginning, awkwardly returning the kiss. "What's wrong, my love? Are you unwell? I told you not to overdo it."

"I'm fine." He cleared his throat, "You worry too much."

You playfully rolled your eyes and hugged him. "I am your wife it is my job to worry about you." You pulled his hand with a smirk, "He needs rest, gentlemen. You can continue this meeting in the morning."

"Yes, Mrs Salamander."

The Doctor quickly figured out where you were leading him and looked around for a quick exit, or a distraction. You took him to the bedroom and closed the door, locking it with a smirk.

"There. Now no one can disturb us." You approached him, taking off your dress which caused panic to flash in his eyes, breaking character briefly.

"Oh Ramón, I have missed you!" You kissed him and when he pulled away minutes later you smirked, listening to him stammer, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"You are not my Ramón." You interrupted.

"N-No."

"Where is he?" You asked.

"O-On business. While I-I was over there, he was here. Then I heard he was leaving so I came here. Believe me, this was not my idea." He said.

You nodded, stepping toward him. "Alright. I'll keep your secret." You said.

The Doctor thanked you and you tugged at the collar of his jacket. "My pleasure."

His eyes widened when you kissed him, but he didn't pull away, though he took a few moments to respond. His hesitance and uncertainty faded away and soon he was kissing you with more passion than you had ever known.

Perhaps Ramón being away for a few days wouldn't be so bad after all.

Third Doctor

You were a nurse at the hospital and were the first face he saw when he woke up. You helped him when a group of men tried to kidnap him from the hospital and when he found he was stranded on Earth, he would visit you and invite you along with him on his adventures and watch him work in the lab.

Fourth Doctor

You were the Brigadier's secretary and you had spoken to the Doctor many times during his third incarnation before passing him through to Alistair. Your job became muddled with his adventures and you became his companion and left to travel with him until he had to go back to Gallifrey.

Fifth Doctor

You were a companion in his eleventh incarnation and used a Vortex Manipulator to travel back to his previous selves and got stuck for a year, the Doctor is the one to fix it. Your teasing was irritating at the beginning as you refused to tell him your real name. But over time, your teasing becomes flirtatious comments and Teegan is always trying to guess what your relationship to the Doctor is in the future, and even when she guessed correctly, you still didn't confirm it. But the Doctor knew and when the Vortex Manipulator is fixed, he himself knows what your relationship is and kisses you goodbye, telling you he can't wait to meet you.

Sixth Doctor

You traveled with him during his fifth incarnation.

Seventh Doctor

You were a friend of Ace who (like Ace) could handle yourself in dangerous situations and you both got invited to become companions in the Tardis at the same time.

Eighth Doctor

You heard noises coming from the morgue and turned off the television, heading to investigate. A man you had wheeled in earlier, confirmed dead, walking out while keeping himself covered, was not what you were expecting to find. You screamed, probably scaring him more than he had scared you, and you grabbed the closest thing near you to hit him with when he approached.

After much confused and frightened yelling back and forth, you helped him find clothes. You were sure the outfit he had settled on was meant for Halloween but didn't dare speak as you stared at the strange man.

"You were dead."

"I was, yes." He smiled, eyebrows furrowing when you pressed a finger to his cheek, checking he wasn't a figment of your imagination. "You're not going to hit me with a clipboard again, are you?

"No."

You helped him against the Master, believing him when he remembered who he was, saying, "You came back from the dead. This night couldn't get any weirder."

And when it was over, you agreed to travel with him.

War Doctor

You attended the academy together, meeting again during the Time War. You were ushering children to safety and when he had come across you, he had stopped to help.

Ninth Doctor

You were a scientist enlisted to help examine the genetically altered pig and had caught him looking around. When he tried to use the psychic paper it didn't work so he resorted to telling you the truth and you helped him find the pig, saddened when it died. You helped him against the Slitheen and parted ways after Downing Street was left in a pile of rubble.

Tenth Doctor

You met in the alternate universe, an ordinary woman turned soldier to fight against the Cybermen. You were trapped in his universe and helped him after he lost Rose.

Eleventh Doctor

You were Rory's sister and when Prisoner Zero was in the hospital, it had knocked you unconscious and when you woke up, the alien was gone and you were introduced to the Time Lord, who didn't hesitate to persuade you to join the three of them on adventures.

Twelfth Doctor

You worked at the school with Clara and despite his many attempts to keep distance between you, you were always caring towards him. When you found the Tardis, he gave a brief explanation while insulting your intelligence and when you called his bluff, he took you on a trip, claiming it was only to prove a point. But you became a great friend in time and later became more.

Thirteenth Doctor

You were traveling with her when she regenerated.

Delgado!Master

You were a scientist at UNIT and a companion of the Doctor. You met the Master when he took you hostage, not harming you, and you were caught between the two Time Lords every time the Master reappeared.

Ainley!Master

You were a companion of the Sixth Doctor and he took you with him for a while, leaving the Doctor to chase him down to find you. Only when he did, you didn't want to leave the Master behind.

Roberts!Master

You were the wife of the man whose body he had possessed and when you saw the odd colour of his eyes in the light, you immediately knew something was wrong. You fought against him and he knew you would be valuable to him alive. So he got you to help him, spouting lies in the beginning that you never believed. You were stubborn and he realized early on that he could not hypnotize you so he settled for the truth. You made a deal with him that once it was over, he would leave your husband alone and he agreed.

Jacobi!Master

You had been traveling for weeks to reach the silo. You were skilled at fighting Futurekind and stepped in when a group of Futurekind tried to hunt a family heading where you were going.

When you entered the gates, you began to ask questions, questions about a man who everyone was calling their savior. So, desperate for answers, you sneaked past guards and found the lab was empty. Chantho had caught you looking around, and when the Professor returned, he summoned guards, but you had seen the missing factors in their plan and bargained with them. They didn't toss you to the Futurekind, and you helped everyone reach Utopia.

Simms!Master

You were his secretary who organized meetings, calls and was attached to his hip nearly 24/7. You always knew there was something about him and when you were going over an itinerary in his office before he had to go to a meeting, he caught your curious staring.

"Didn't your mother tell you that staring is rude?"

You apologized, looking at the desk.

"Well, what is it?" He asked.

"Nothing, Mr. Saxon."

He knew you were suspicious, but you were more help to him alive (as much as he hated to admit) so he told you the truth and his plan. You were shocked by it and he used your attraction toward him as a weakness, starting an affair with you. When he captured Martha's family and turned the Doctor old, he tossed Lucy in a cell and you were no longer his secretary but his lover who was almost as mad as him. He had changed your shy personality for the better in both your minds, but others would disagree. The Doctor had tried to reach out to you but you were loyal to only the Master who was surprised by how much you had started to mean to him.

Missy

You met when the Doctor brought her onto the Tardis. You were traveling with him after you were captured. She was relieved to see you again, and although she was no longer the blonde-haired hoodie-wearing Time-Lord you knew, you were open to continuing your relationship.

Dhawan!Master

You were a companion of the Doctor since his Twelfth incarnation and had grown close to Missy. You would often sit and talk about the people around you. Missy organizing people into different torture factories (telling you who would go where) and you would join in. You were mischievous like her and even the Doctor had trouble reigning you in at times. You had a feeling that something wasn't quite right about O when you first met him and when you confronted him before going to Barton's party, you surprised him when you said, "I won't tell her." You had hugged him and whispered in his ear, "Welcome back."

Jamie McCrimmon

You were arranged to be married to join your clans. You went traveling with him in the Tardis and got married when you returned.

Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart

You were born decades in his future and had met the Second Doctor during one of his adventures and became a valued addition to the Tardis. You met the Brigadier, then Colonel, during the Web of Fear. He was taken back by your flirtatious personality, leaving him speechless. You weren't like, women in his time and that was something that drew him to you immediately. You meet him again during the Invasion of the Cybermen and decide to stay in his time to pursue a relationship with him.

Mike Yates

You met when you were teenagers.

Alydon

You were a Thrall and it wasn't uncommon for his eyes to wander from Dyoni whom he was to be betrothed to, however, when the war with the Daleks grew nearer, your father pledged his alliance to Alydon. People used to call your father paranoid for he always said that the Dals would return and bring nothing but death with them. Alydon was shocked that he had a daughter who was a trained warrior. His staring caused teasing that you ignored as you questioned the bashful leader about the Daleks. He swore that the planet stopped turning when you looked at him, the only beautiful thing in the withered forest.

Rory Williams

You met during his time in Rome. You helped him blend in and he was thankful for your help. A friendship quickly blossomed between you.

Ian Chesterton

You were the new teacher at the school. Ian had overheard many students talking about you and when Susan entered his class late he wondered if she really thought his class was that boring. He would have been insulted if she wasn't the smartest in his class.

"You're late." He stated.

You followed Susan inside and Ian paused when he saw you. "Its my fault, Mr Chesterton."

He cleared his throat, shaking your outstretched hand. "Right. Well, don't let it happen again.

You smiled, "Of course." You left the room, sending Susan a wave that she eagerly returned.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

You're the first Donna Anti I've seen on this hellsite. (Tho the Suits following is pretty small from what I've seen.) I liked her okay up until The Kiss. Had to give up on her after that.

Okay first of all, I love how you capitalized it and referred to it like that, because it reminds me of how the Potter fandom refers to The Prank from the Marauder era. We all know, we can all well remember. And yeah, I'm 100% down for this incident being immortalized the same way, because what even was that.

I honestly gave up on D*rvey ever happening or being interesting when Donna went back to work for Harvey, because it basically undid all of the growth their relationship went through in Season 5. So when Donna kissed him I just kind of thought, "Huh, so they're finally doing this." But then it still took another season and a half to get there. Like, I just figured it was the will they/won't they finally answering with the "they will" that was inevitable at that point, but instead, we got...the kiss storyline. See, the kiss itself isn't what bothers me the most. What bothers me...is the scene where they talk it out. How Donna reacts when confronted. (A lot of grumbling lies ahead.)

Now, to be fair, this is coming off the tails of Harvey letting his anger out during a meeting, but still. First, Harvey calls Donna selfish, and then she says what she always says, which is "You have some nerve saying that to me, when you know I have put you first for years." Like...actions speak louder than words, Donna, and you really love to say that, usually whenever you fuck up. Which happens a lot. Even if I do believe that statement, It has nothing to do with her kissing Harvey, because that was selfish. She claims that she "needed to know." No, you didn't. What you needed to do was respect Harvey's relationship and boundaries.

"Our lines have been clear for a long time." Is a pretty clear statement, but then Donna just ignores it and says that their lines are blurry. Like, no, maybe yours are, but Harvey seems to disagree, so instead of listing off a bunch of aspects of your friendship, none of which are inherently romantic except maybe the claim that "we flirt" why don't you try to figure out where the miscommunication happened? These two are supposed to be best friends, and it's been thirteen years. Oh and, not too long ago, Donna pushed Harvey to consider becoming more than friends and when he was reluctant, she went to work for Louis! Since then, he has entered a relationship with another woman. What did Donna think was going to happen?

But that's okay, because she actually doesn't want to be with Harvey. Are you freaking kidding me? She kisses him without his consent, and then decides she doesn't have feelings for him? What kind of emotional manipulation is that? What if Harvey had decided he wanted to be with Donna instead of Paula after that kiss, and dumped her as a result? What if he'd dumped Paula out of guilt? Or told her, and then she dumped him out of anger? Or she didn't dump him, but it caused a lot of anger and tension they had to work through. Or what if Harvey decided to keep it a secret and felt terrible guilt for doing so? And all because Donna couldn't sort her feelings out on her own. I like how she says "I didn't feel anything when I kissed you, so you can relax if that's what you're worried about." Yeah, because this is about your feelings, Donna. That's what matters right now.

Ultimately, Harvey does seem to go for one of the options I listed. He points out that he feels like he has to keep this from Paula, Donna says to just go ahead and tell her, because he didn't do anything wrong. For someone who always claims to be inhumanly smart, she really does live in a fantasy world. Paula didn't see the kiss, she doesn't know what happened, and Harvey and Donna have always been close. Of course she'll be upset. I also don't like how it comes out that Harvey felt something during the kiss. "It did affect you, didn't it?" Donna, no, stop, that's not even close to being any of your business, and it so, so not the point. "That's not the same as feeling something." You're not the one who decides that Donna, Paula is! How is it that she's steered the conversation to being about this instead of, y'know, what she's done wrong?

Harvey finally spells it out for her, something she ought to have implicitly known since...well, honestly since before she carried out this stupid idea. That by kissing him while he's in a relationship, Donna forced him into a situation where he felt like he cheated on his girlfriend, and there's nothing in the world Harvey would hate more than that. That was Donna, Harvey's supposed best friend, his eventual wife (gag) putting him in that position, that she knows (or should know) damn well is going to hurt him worse than anything. She knows about his issues with infidelity. She knows how far back they go. She has watched him end previous relationships because of situations like this in the past! In what universe did she think that wouldn't be a problem? And when Harvey calls her out on this...Donna just kind of...ignores it. She downplays it.

She remarks that it was just a kiss. (Y'know, that thing that almost tore Mike and Rachel apart?) Which...again, Donna, Paula is the only one who gets to decide how serious this is. She reminds Harvey that they've done more than kiss in the past...which has nothing to do with the current situation either. She then asks if Harvey has told Paula that they slept together, and that is likewise none of her business. (Semi-irrelevant question, did Harvey not tell Paula about his past with Donna during their therapy sessions? Seems like the kind of thing that would have come up.) When she realizes that he hasn't told her, Donna offers one final middle finger by suggesting that Harvey shouldn't be mad at her, that it's his fault for not telling Paula that he slept with Donna thirteen years ago. Just...Harvey does bite back that he doesn't want her advice, but the moment she even said "If you want my advice" I just shook my head at the screen. Like, no. Stop. You have completely misunderstood the situation and utterly failed to take responsibility for this betrayal. You are trash, Donna Paulson. Glitzy, fancy trash.

She's not evil. She's not even really an asshole most of the time, the way so many of the characters on this show can be. But she oversells herself to an astounding degree, and for whatever reason the characters keep buying - so to that effect, it feels like the show itself is overselling Donna, which makes her flaws that much more pronounced. She's arguably the biggest screwup in the cast. I could make full rant posts like this one about The Liberty Rail fiasco, about the document that she shredded, about the time she broke privilege. But go on, Donna. Tell me more about how kissing Harvey was "one mistake, in thirteen years." Y'know, she's a much more realistic kind of annoying, and I sort of like that? But I also don't like what a karma houdini she is, how self-absorbed she acts. "The Donna" storyline almost felt like parody for that reason, but no...that was a plot-line in the show, that actually existed and aired, and we were meant to take it seriously. Like...wow...