#Chuuya crack

[osachiyo]

trying this trend on chuuya :3

you set up your phone on the table, angling it so it shows both you and chuuya. "is it on?" chuuya glanced at you, to which you nodded — suppressing a smile at what you were about to do.

"if you wanna get to him," you raised an eyebrow to the camera, sassily putting your hands on your hips, "you gotta get through me, first!"

"hell yeah," chuuya grinned, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to pull you into a hug. you gladly came closer, sweetly pressing your lips on his — to which he gladly reciprocated.

pulling away, you smiled widely at the phone — "he's the best big brother ever!"

chuuya immediately pulled away, greyish blue eyes widening as his face morphed into one of disgust and pure mortification — "babe WHAT THE FU—"

"okay, bye guys!"

safe to say, chuuya did not want to be in any of your videos anymore 💀

[justcallmesakira]

Bsd men with a childish s/o:

Sypnosis: how they go on with their day with you :333

Genre: crack, low key fluff

Warnings: mention of roblox, McDonald's, LOADS of blasting stuff, torturing Mexican man, war flashbacks

Dazai-

• one word, power couple (more like powerblasting the agency every couple of hours)

• he absolutely loves your childish demeanor, like bro you saw how he acts? He gives undeveloped 22 year old man and so do you🙃

•anyways he actually enjoys your company, your cute little childish acts and stuff

• ex: blasting the electricity cables of Yokohama, drawing silly little Sanrio doodles everywhere, going ":3"after cutely making the enemy go insane etc.

•honestly he would definitely take you to the playground instead of a fancy restaurant 😘👍

•probably swings with you on the swings •"Couple found playing in a children's playground before getting hit in the anal by lighting"

•bro he would go with your childish and stopid tactics😰😰😰

• "omg let's make a paper boat and ride it down the river😍😍��😘😘🥰" "anything for you babygorilla😏😈😈😈😽😼"

•like seriously though the agency actually worries, not for dazai but for when he gaslights you with a lollipop into committing double-plugging each other off

•he still enjoys your childish antics, you would go with a cute Lil face doing dumb stuff and he will just watch you with soften eye

•anyways you two have matching energy but unless your in real danger he's not saving you... He's joining you😰😰😨

Chuuya-

•hahh....

•he's so done with you

•you would act so silly and chilly that's he's gonna get literally WAR flashbacks (dazai I am lookin at you and your little lighter🤨🤨

•when ever he took you to McDonald's you would ask the employee for extra sauce and he would ask "why would you want extra sau- AND WHY ARE WE IN MCDONALD'S ORDERING HAPPY Meals????!!!" *slurps down every sauce packet* "it's for the toy, chuuya"

•he totally not traumatized by your tactics <33

•poor chuuya he just wants to have a nice romantic bath with you and there you are with rubber ducks and balls everywhere

•"darling Ily but why the hell did you stick rubber ducks on your body with Elmer's glue? 😃" -chuuya probably

•even during hard missions your so unserious😭

•it's scares him how goofy your are during a shooting..... *flashback*

•he wants to put like a dog leash on you so I don't wander off Dora the explorer live action (NO YALL NOT IN THAT Way) •chuuya=🙅 you begging him to buy a children's kitchen set= 💁‍♀️🔪🍳.

•he genuinely likes your sweet little innocent side

•whenever he's tired of babysit-- I mean taking care of you he takes you to kouyou and goes 🕳️🎢 'bye'

•HELP AUTOMOTIVE BIBI FOGASA STARTED PLAYING-😰😰😰

•he still cares for you especially when you are tired and fell asleep he would carry you to the bedroom and sleep with your head on his shoulder and him giving you a soft smile :)

•just don't remind him of a certain someone.... 🤕

Fyodor-

•he doesn't know why he picked up a street dawg like you

•careful who U call street dog before I leave you on the streets😃

•you and gogol would do stupid stuff in his room, run around playing tag all over his office and there he is with his silly little discord mod on his computer (fyodor please get your rusty ass off from that computer)

•you actually like his goofy cartoon mouse logo and made merch out of his organization 😘😘😘

•"myshka, why are you wearing my organization's shirt and a-" "shhhh- I am promoting your company" "what"

•he's just like chuuya but calmer and is questioning how you can act so carefree while he's brutally torturing a Mexican man

•LEAVE THE MEXICAN MAN ALONE FYODOR-🇲🇽

•still he buys you those kitchen set toys so you won't scream "shimmy shimmy ya" during the Doa meetings😃😃😃

•it's actually kinda sweet bcs of the dynamic you share like-- cold x cheerful

•you begged him to play roblox with you

•"I have work to do" "you can blast people in this game" "..."

•"yadayadaya safusafusafu" -you

•he likes your cheery mess but keep it at an extent before he sends you to the adoption center

•ADOPTION CENTER KINK---

A/N: I am sorry this is bad but it's my first post so please be patient I will start a writing blog with rules and all ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

Divider crds: /@junkyukim on pinterest

[saltedbiscuiit]

Silly doodles just for fun!!

[dandelion-roots]

[ID: a digital comic in two panels featuring bungou stray dogs characters. the first shows atsushi banging open a door and shouting, dazai-san! are you oka- the second shows a shot from the anime where chuuya is holding dazai against a wall by his neck. the text reads, homoerotic atmosphere, and four squares with text point out whats happening. they read, casual hand in pocket, chokehold, knife, and lastly um... followed by two sweat drops pointing at chuuya's knee between dazai's legs. a tiny panel in the corner shows atsushi covering his eyes with his tiger paws and blushing as he says, i'm sorry... end ID]

come here. crack open the canon with me for a minute. consider. what if atsushi hadn't listened to everyone telling him dazai would be fine and left to save him only to witness whatever the fuck was going on in that cellar. consider the bit.

[pleucas]

colored some band skks from the gram 👍👍👍

[zaisamoo]

more soukoku. ok i swear my next post will be an actual and colored drawing that isnt soukoku

[sableeira]

My drops of tears I'll turn to sparks of fire.

or ode to new beginnings

[sensitiveheartless]

Storms always stress out my cat. He hates thunder, heavy rain, strong gusts of wind, pretty much any loud noise he can hear — he either ends up hiding under the bed or wandering about and yelling mournfully until the bad weather stops.

Unless, that is, he is sandwiched between me and the back of the couch. If he is thoroughly squished, he chills out and starts purring. He purposefully puts himself in that position, too: if he’s not squished enough for his liking, he will wedge himself further against my side until he is.

He doesn’t like to be touched directly very much, and he’ll turn into a snapping turtle if I try to pet him in this state, so sometimes I roll onto my side so he can be squished between my back and the couch cushions without having to worry about being disturbed. And then whenever he’s done he can just wriggle his way out and lay by my feet instead.

Anyway this is making me imagine Chuuya using Dazai as a weighted blanket during storms and jamming himself up against Dazai’s side even when there isn’t much room, because it feels safer that way. That sometimes Chuuya needs to be completely squished by another person in order to chill out (perhaps partly because the feeling of a human pressed up beside him, warm and solid, is enough to remind his subconscious that he’s not back in N’s lab. Not suspended in liquid, not tied up and impaled and shocked. Maybe he used to sleep in piles with the other kids in the Sheep, only to lose that reassurance once he joined the Port Mafia, and he doesn’t even know why he’s become so anxious and untethered until he rediscovers that comfort later)

…Of course, despite needing that comfort, he will bite Dazai’s fingers if Dazai tries to poke him.

[cheshire-writer]

The Problem: Mori wants Dazai as his successor. The mafia wants Chuuya as Mori's successor. Dazai doesn't want it. Cannibalism stageplay revealed that Chuuya doesn't want it either.

The solution: They deal with is skk style. They flip coins, draw straws, battle it out at the arcade. Loser has to lead the PM for a week. Winner gets time off. A week later, rinse and repeat.

Yes, they cheat. Yes, they know the other is cheating. No, it doesn't stop them from trying to out-cheat the other. No, they don't miss a beat picking up right where the other left the work, no matter the codewords, operations, secrets, etc involved that they should technically be clueless about. No, they don't think that's strange. Yes, everyone else is screaming into their pillows.

(Bonus: Dazai spends his ill-gotten time off at the agency, working for the government for a given definition of Dazai-working at a job that pays less than 0.01% of the PM boss salary. He does it to be annoying (and also for mental health reasons).

Chuuya spends his ill-gotten time off attending classy wine-tasting events, writing poetry, and being lead singer for a rock band. He's got a healthy life work balance for the first time in his life.)

[daz4i]

bungou stray dogs + @ao3-crack

[osachiyo]

✧˚ 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐗 — dazai, chuuya, akutagawa, atsushi & tetchou .ೃ࿐

˚➶ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — female reader, n/sfw content (mdni), fluff + crack some of y'all will get second hand embarrassment, prolly the only thing i'll write about period sex, breaking the bed, spicy cunnilingus, accidental anal, reader hits her head in one of these but dw it's fine, overall just some silly stuff ! wc for each character is like 300-400 words long :) not proofread !

˚➶ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 — i've been putting this off for too long 💀 anyways, happy reading and enjoy ! also is it tetchou or tecchou idfk how to spell this dude's name 😭

"Nghh - fuuck— you're s'good at this, angel—" Dazai moaned, encouraging you to bounce on him faster. He had you in reverse cowgirl— watching your ass bounce on his pelvis as you jumped up and down on his cock, desperately trying to chase that release you've been working for.

"Feels— feels so g-good!" You cried out, pretty nails digging into his thigh, making him let out a pornographic moan - which made you clench on him even more.

Dazai groaned, grabbing handfuls of your ass and spreading them apart to see the mouthwatering view of your cunt greedily swallowing his cock. That's when he saw little streaks of blood coating his cock - mixed with your slick and his precum... and he realized that you must be starting your period.

If Dazai was being completely honest - he didn't really care about the blood, and no way he was stopping right now— when you're riding him so deliciously and looking so fucking sexy while doing it - he'd be insane (like he isn't already) if he were to stop you now. Plus, he didn't want you to get embarrassed— no, that's the last thing he wanted.

He definitely told you after sex, though. He was like, "oh yeah, you're on your period, by the way." It kind of shocked you how casual he was about it - which he noticed, of course. He'd laugh at your bewildered face, chuckling as you ask him if he's not grossed out. He'd wave you off, "sweetheart, do you think i'm a boy? Trust me, a little bit of blood doesn't bother me."

You were about to reply when a cramp hit you straight in the guts - making you hiss out and curl into yourself in pain. Dazai frowned, quickly sitting next to you to brush your hair out of your face - "you alright, sweet girl?" You groaned in response, "mm - yeah, j-just these damn period cramps are killing me."

Dazai pretended to think for a bit, even rubbing his finger on his chin to add the extra effect, making you roll your eyes at his silly antics. he looked deep in thought for a moment until you heard him snapping his finger, pointing at you with a wink - "aha! I know exaaactly how to get rid of your cramps." Your eyebrows pinched together at his words, knowing it's gonna be something dumb.

"Let's go for another roun— oumph!" You threw a pillow at him, resulting him falling backwards on his butt. "I knew you were gonna say that!" You groaned, kicking your legs - snickering at the way he rubs his bottom. "Gosh, you are just the meanest, aren't you?" He whined - making you giggle, "oh? well, that would make you the horniest!"

"Hey! I was serious - it really works— oumph!"

You were currently face-down, ass-up on Chuuya's lavish bed— as he pushed your face further into the pillow, cunt greedily sucking his fat cock in. He didn't even bother with taking off your clothes— just ripping them and grumbling about buying you new ones when you went to protest.

"Argh— shhiiiit- takin' m-me s'well, babydoll," growling, he pulled you up by your hair - back against his chest and fuck, you could feel him in the deepest part of you - hammering inside of your puffy pussy while reaching a free hand to play with that tiny clit. "Chuuya— C-chuuya!" You squealed, face landing on the pillow with an "oof!" as he pushed you back against it. "S-shut it, fu—ck! 'yer so tight," he almost whimpered, hand untangling itself from your hair to pinch and tweak at your nipples - before landing a mean smack on your ass.

He was speeding up - almost at an inhuman pace, as the headboard continuously slammed against the wall. But the both of you failed to notice the cracking noise - too lost in the pleasure, before the bed came crashing down.

'fuck, you're doin' so good ba— whAT THE FUCK—?!" Chuuya screeched as you both fell on the floor along with the broken bed. "Shit - are you okay, baby?" He quickly checked you for any injuries— only to see that you were still dazed, your mouth agape and eyes glossed over— too cockdrunk to even process that the bed broke.

“Argh— fuck it,” he thought, just going back to pounding your cunt as if it didn’t just break down. Making his pretty girl gush all over him was way more important— and plus, he could easily buy another bed.

You scolded him after getting your back blown out. But he couldn’t care less, if he was being completely honest.

In reality, it actually turned him on even more— his new goal from now on is breaking the bed everytime while fucking - from the sheer force of it. So um.. goodluck walking..?

You were cuddled up on the couch with your boyfriend of 6 months, watching a cute movie when you suddenly felt something stiff poking against your ass— how cute, you thought - biting your lip as you ground back against him, earning a sharp gasp from Atsushi.

Things escalated from that to you being on top of him— fervently making out, shy fingers digging into the plush of your hips as you continued grinding on his dick— moaning into each other's mouths.

Eventually you ended up on your back, with Atsushi rutting into you fast and hard as you threw your head back. He was inexperienced— but you had to say, what he lacked in technique, he made up for in enthusiasm. His face was buried in your neck, letting out puffs of hot air as he suppressed the urge to bite down on your shoulder and mark you up— he didn't want to hurt or scare you off.

"Oh— god, 'sushi that feels so—" you moaned, lips parting as you silently begged for a kiss - to which he gladly complied. "Fuck— yes, s'good—!" Atsushi moaned, eyes rolling back slightly as you clamped down on him further, you were close and so was he.

But somehow, he managed to slip out of your tight cunt— making him whine and quickly try to push it back in, desperate to feel your warm walls around him again. He slipped in with some issues— it felt like you had gotten tighter but he didn't mind. Holy shit though, it felt so much warmer and tighter no— "OW OW—! ATSUSHI!"

He immediately jumped upon hearing your pained shriek, "what's wro—" "Pull out - right now!" You sneered, glaring at him as he complied. "That was the wrong hole— you idiot!" You scolded, but your gaze got softer when you saw him sulking - he didn't mean to hurt you!

"I- I'm so sorry— it just accidentally slipped out a-and then I tried to push it back in and—" he was speaking really fast, trying his best to explain himself before you put your hand up, palm against his chest.

"I get it— sorry for yelling at you," you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck as you climbed onto his lap. He nodded, still sulking because he felt so guilty— god, he just can't do anything righ—

"Don't beat yourself up for it, okay? It wasn't your fault," you spoke as if you could read his mind, making him relax his tensed shoulders as he nodded.

..You two just decided to continue the movie and cuddle the night away.

Akutagawa had you backed up against some large shelves inside a storage room, while you two were on a mission. He'd normally prefer to have you somewhere else— somewhere more private and comfortable but you just had to be a damn tease the whole fucking day, and now he's finally got his hands on you.

"So— fucking— desperate—" each word that fell from his chapped lips were accompanied by a mean thrust, the tip of his cock brushing against that one spot inside of your walls. He had you completely trapped against the large set of shelves with rashōmon— leaving you with no ways to escape him. "Haah— d-did a little bending g-get you this worked u-up?" You added fuel to the fire— making his right eye twitch in annoyance, what a lousy mouth you had.

He said nothing, though— only speeding his pace up, as heavy breaths and pants left him— an unusual flush spread across his cheeks. "You really— shit!— d-don't know when to shut the fuck up," he growled, as a pale hand found your tits— slapping the jiggling fat before landing a harsh slap to each.

Your back arched with each pound of his hips into your gooey cunt— both of you feeling lightheaded from the pleasure circulating through your veins. So lightheaded in fact, you both somehow failed to notice the heavy book on top one of the shelves inching closer and closer towards the very edge— a small impact against the wood would most likely make it fall.

"oh— AkuOWW—!" And fall it did— right on top of your head before it bounced off and fell on the floor. You yelled in pain, the dull pain making you head throb. Akutagawa just...paused— eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. He didn't know what to say— should he ask if you're okay? He's never been good at this stuff — so he just.. kinda... stood there and stared.

Made sure you're alright after he was over the initial shock, though — telling you that you should've seen it coming, earning him a few curses from you.

Tetchou had you spread on the couch, strong hands holding your thighs against your chest, giving him a perfect view of the soaked cunt he was about to devour.

"You look so pretty between my legs," you cooed, running your fingers through his burgundy locks. "Yeah? Well, I wish you could see my view, gorgeous girl," he spoke while nibbling the insides of your thighs— placing sloppy, open mouthed kisses wherever his lips could reach. His face was lightly flushed pink — your praises always made him hot and bothered, it encouraged him to do even better — make you feel even better.

A small moan caught in your throat when your boyfriend slowly peeled away the slick-soaked panties from your juicy cunt, pulling them down your legs before flinging them off somewhere. The cold night air hitting your bare sex made you try to clench your thighs back together — but to no avail, as Tetchou kept them apart firmly. He felt himself salivating at the sight of your exposed cunt — wanting to dive right in.

And dive right in he did, licking a fat stripe up your cunt, collecting your juices on his tongue before smearing them all over your clit, feeling your thighs shake and tummy clench at the stimulation. "Don't hold them back f'me," he let out a muffled grunt. "Your moans — don't hold 'em back," he clarified, before shamelessly shaking his head back and forth on your cunt — causing you to arch your back as your fingers tightened their grip on his hair.

"A-ah, Tetchou—" you threw your head back with a whine, trying to lift your hips up to grind into his mouth, to which he responded to by pushing you even further into the couch, "don't move," he panted, basically growling into your pussy. He couldn't help but hump into the couch — way too turned on by your pleasure.

It was all going great — amazing even, until you felt a light burn on your cunt, confusion lacing all your features. It didn't take long for the burning sensation to build up — the pleasure slowly disappearing, as discomfort kicked in.

"W-wait — Tetchou," you panted, trying to pull his head away from your aching (literally) cunt. Tetchou only growled in response, latching onto your pussy harder — you knew better than to interrupt him during a meal.

But it fucking burned! So you just yelled out, "it burns!" And felt him immediately pause — slowly lifting his head from the spot between your thighs and looking utterly confused, "what?"

"I — I don't know, but my pussy fucking burns," you snapped, worry laced all over your features.

Then suddenly, a look of realization mixed with mortification fills your boyfriend's face. You cocked an eyebrow at him, "what is it?"

"... I forgot I ate those... spicy noodles and... some of the sauce was probably still on my lips...."

©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated♡

tags ・ @hopefulpain @inkmooon @constant-existential-terror @nda-approval @mellieellie @seiiushi @lynxxyyy @kentopedia

@sorasushik1 @himebwrries @nopethenope @neviex @fyodorisbbg @stygianoir @saharei @x-lunawrites-x @munnaitorei @emyyy007 @dearhoney-31 @the-foreigner @angoisfine @osaemu @honeycombflowers-blog @yuiiasathesilly @kaithegremlin @sukiischaotic @squigglewigglewoo @cupidszvlvr @ashthemadwriter-archived @bloobewy @mrs-bakugou @hauntedsol @ask-me-or-not @hanakotateyama @kissesmellow21 @dazaichuuya69 @xxsilverjackalxx @gettinshiggywithit @deaths-presence @sugaredpersimmon @rjssierjrie @iheartpieck @angelof-darkness @dazaisimpletmereadfanficspls @hellokitty-4-lele @scinclaitnoir @aly-insanity @kemis-world @bisexuawolfsalt @thateldribitch

[justcallmesakira]

"You look lonely... I can fix that"

Sypnosis: Embarrassing your sugerpoo in front of subordinates is the best thing to do especially of he's a ginger!

Chuuya x reader

Genre: Lowkey crack, tiny bit suggestive

Warnings: none unless your talking about reader dominating ch-

A/N: hehe go read part 1. Go read it👿👿

Chuuya was in his office sitting down, ordering his subordinates to get ready for the next mission. It was quite a difficult mission so atleast akutagawa needed to join.

You opened the door loudly and came marching done to chuuya desk which made his subordinates turn towards your marching figure.

"Doll???! What are you doing here, I thought you had a mission" chuuya blurted out with slight shock in his face especially since he's in front of his subordinates.

But before he could even stutter out any more words, you turned his chair towards you and locked his sitting figure between your arms which were placed on the armrest of the chair.

Tachihara instantly takes out his iPhone ultra legendary rare pro max 69 with a shocked face recording the whole thing

“Say chu-chu, can I follow you out? My parents always told me to follow my dreams”

you say with a wide grin, mouthing the words with pure malice and seduction which made chuuya jolt up inside with a red face

Higuchi was eyeing everyone in the room because this was embarrassing but then saw tachihara randomly taking out a saxophone and play romantic jazz music. Higuchi totally understood the assignment and threw rose petals all around the scenery where you were pinning chuuya against his chair which made him look at his subordinates then To you with a big blush on his face.

“Ah my bad, I am not good at holding conversations can I hold your hand instead” you spit out before he could even response which makes him lose the ability to talk.

Akutagawa just stares at the room not being able to understand why there’s jazz music and rose petals everywhere.

“y/n,,, w-what the F-fuck-“ chuuya stutters out his whole body pushed against the soft cushion of the chair.

Let’s just say that day, the ginger couldn’t do anything properly that day and had a rapid heartbeat all day.

A/N: this was so funny that while I was washing my face I accidentally drank tap water

divider Creds: @plutism

[saltedbiscuiit]

Silly 15!skk comic that I sketched awhile ago and dont remember what compelled me to draw this

[anticidic]

AU where an ability user zaps and turns others into animals.

Then you've got Dazai just standing around in the agency's office surrounded by his zoo colleagues. Kunikida "the goose" Doppo still wearing his glasses and he hops up and waddles across all the desks, honking at Dazai and flapping his wings.

Kenji became a young giraffe who's constantly ducking his head so he doesn't hit it on the ceiling. He looks at the plants wanting to munch on them, but knows he shouldn't.

Atsushi's a tiger cub sunbathing by the windows, all curled up and having the best nap of his life. He's completely unbothered by the change.

Then a smack hits the window and startles Dazai. He whips around and sees a bird hit the window. A crow. And it has a tiny hat that looks a lot like Chuuya's and it's angrily pecking at the window trying to get in.

Now Dazai could just touch them all and nullify the animal ability, but he's just a little amused being surrounded by animals like a skit out of Snow White. Except most of them are angrily following him trying to get him to turn them back.

Dazai running for his life from Kunikida waddling after him as he shuts all the windows to keep crow Chuuya from coming in and smacking into him.

[aeshiiteiru]

soo could you write about dazai, chuuya and tecchou's red green and beige flags?

…My Flags?

— Their green, red and beige flags ft. O.Dazai, N. Chuuya, S. Tetchou

— Warnings & Notes

sfw | Mix

|| thx for the request, made me have an unwanted reality check lmao

|| kinda angsty but also fluffy and funny, those are based on my own thoughts and opinions!

m.list | writing rules

— Dazai

The green flags

He tries his best to be a good boyfriend. Of course it takes time and effort, but he really tries to give his all for you and you notice it (most of the time). He just tries his best for you (even though he has his moments)

He showers you with compliments. He wants you to know what he feels for you every step of the way. Some compliments are actually just so ridiculous it’s funny

“Mh, ‘bella! You’re so beautiful I would definitely steal your photos, make a fake account, and impress other people online!”

“That’s, uh….creepy but cute, thank you love…”

Conversation with him are never boring! He will find thousands of stupid topics just to talk to you about them! He wants to hear you laugh and see you smile as you state your opinions on all these weird things. (He probably doesn’t want to do his work smh)

The red flags

He tends to gaslight you…a lot. Mostly about that you’re just paranoid that he gaslights you. He doesn’t do it on purpose most of the time, it’s just how he is.

Unfortunately he still flirts with other women. He isn’t cheating, but the sweet words and looks still happen sometimes. He does it unintentionally, but it’s there, it happens. He says he tries to get rid of these habits, but you’re doubtful.

 Dazai runs away from his problems. Always. Whenever there is a conflict between you two he tries to brush it off and act like everything is okey. That is until he notices you’re genuinely upset with him, then he just leaves. He leaves and returns after a few hours or days of no contact and acts like nothing happened again.

The beige flags

 When he notices that he accidentally made you cry, he will jump on top of you to aggressively suck the tears off your face like some human vacuum in order to make you laugh and feel better. It’s ridiculous but it works.

Whenever you ask him what he wants to eat he always, always replies with “you” or “nothing”. No in-between, no specifics. It was funny at first, but at some point you just started to sigh and shake your head at it.

He keeps his undies that have holes in them so that he can surprise you by walking out the bathroom and tearing them off his body only leaving the waist band. He calls it the “grand reveal”. Always whenever you least expect it. Makes you question many things.

— Chuuya

The green flags

He notices the little things. You have a sparkle in your eyes whenever you see a flower you like? Expect a bouquet of these flowers on the table the next day. You pick out a vegetable from your food because you don’t like it? He noticed, and he made sure that that vegetable never appears in your house ever again.

Yeah so he is always trying to impress you with things. He often makes a fool out of himself because of it, but it brings a smile to your face so you let him do his thing.

Chuuya loves to gossip about people with you. You know the second he says “you won’t believe what happened.” Means you’re in for the hottest, spiciest tea spill in history. His gossip is always so juicy it leaves you gasping with every sentence. You love how he trusts only you with it.

The red flags

The way he expresses his anger makes you feel unsafe sometimes. You never know when he will accidentally harm you during one of his anger outbursts. It’s very worrisome to you and actually him too.

He is an alcoholic already a separate red flag, so stuff happens when he is wasted (which is often). Chuuya often tells you hurtful things during that time. It’s things he would never, ever allow to leave his mouth while sober, but we all know drunk Chuuya is not your Chuuya anymore.

Always needs to know where you are and what you’re doing. He is very, very controlling. Is it because he is worried? Possessive? Obsessive?? No one knows. But he is, and it’s suffocating sometimes. You basically have no privacy. (It’s probably because he has trust issues that you’ll leave him at some point just like others ekhem Dazai )

“So, where are you going? Who will you be with?”

“….to a bar, with just some friends..?”

“Is that so? What friends? Actually, I’ll have some of my men go with you to be sure you’ll be fine.”

“……”

The beige flags

Whenever he spills the hot tea of the day in the mafia, you’re no longer “love, dear, doll or baby” etc. No, no, that’s when you become “dawg” or “bro” and you deal with it. He is not aware of it and you never tell him. You are dawg. That’s final.

Whenever he misplaces his belongings, the first thing he does is ask you “what did you do with my (insert item)?” It doesn’t matter what it is, his phone, his hat whatever, he thinks you took it.

When you guys go to bed he scoots closer and closer over the course of the night in order to cuddle you, except he always scoots a little too much and you always end up falling off the bed, and then when you try to get him to move back a little he will complain that it’s late and you should be sleeping instead of waking him up. (He is only half awake the whole time, forgive him for being a bitch)

— Tetchou

The green flags

He respects your boundaries. When you say no, it means no, and he understands.

He never flinches when you order something no sane person would eat. That's because he also does that. (It should be a red flag that his taste in food is horrendous, but he will never judge you sooo forgiven)

He always listens to you. He might not understand a thing you're talking about, or might not get why that thing is so exciting but he will listen, and agree with everything you say to show you he is interested and is paying attention.

The red flags

Puts his job above you. You always come second. He loves you, but if the job required him to break up with you, he would without a second thought. I’m sorry, justice above all.

He is lacking in emotional intelligence. He doesn't really know how to comfort you or empathize with you which leaves you to mostly deal with the emotional distress yourself.

Sleeps with his socks on during summer. Thats all, that’s the reddest flag.

The beige flags

Whenever he's hungry and you're not he will starve himself, because he refuses to eat when you're not eating. It makes him feel bad and you don’t get why.

Whenever you ask him a question he will answer without elaboration. —

"How was work?"

"Good. As usually."

— A man of few words, but you need him to spill the details, right now.

He can't use emojis. He thinks “🙄” is someone looking up, not an eye-roll. It makes texting more difficult than it should…

Copyright © 2023 Aeshiiteiru.

[sirdullahan00]

Self-indulging sketches cuz I miss these 2 idiots

⎛⎝(•̀ ‿•)⎠⎞

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Not sure about any brush rn so I am a bit clumsy