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renee-writer · 2 years

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Chasing Waves Chapter 1

A/N Happy New Year and welcome to @farmerscats and I's newest story. Jamie a surfer. Claire a reporter sent to interview him. He finds her beautiful. She finds him intriguing. Here we go..

AO3

“He will be cocky. They always are.” Claire Beauchamp sits, her feet crossed at the ankle, her arms crossed over her chest, and stares at her editor and best friend, Geillis Duncan. She has been a reporter for the Scottish Sun for close to ten years now and knows of which she speaks.

“Undoubtedly. Your job hen, is to get past that, to the real person under his professional persona.”

The he in question is raising surfer, Jamie Fraser. Scotland doesn’t boast many surfing champions and their paper had been lucky enough to be granted an interview with the lad. Geillis wants her best reporter on it and that is Claire.

“I will do my best.” Claire is resigned. Geillis gets her way and that is that. Besides, a lot of her fight was a part of her reputation, as Geillis also well knows. To peal the onion that was this bloke’s persona was a personal challenge. One she looks forward to.

A smirk from her editor. “I know you will.”

“You ken I hate the PR bullshite.” Jamie Fraser tells his Godfather and manager, Murtagh Fraser. “I don’t feel comfortable with it. I would rather be catching a wave.”

Murtagh understands. Jamie has been shy since childhood. He really only feels comfortable in the water. “I ken it well. I am nae nutter. The Scotland Sun wants to do a feature on you. Ye ken how important that is?”

He nods. He understands it is just he fears saying something that will make him seem a clodheid. Reporters always made him nervous. He had never made a shambles out of an interview but he constantly fears he will. “I will talk to him.”

Murtagh grins as he delivers the news. “Her. They are sending a lass out, an English woman.”

Jesus, Mary and, Joseph as if he wasn’t nervous enough! “A lass?”

“You will be fine. Just be yourself.”

She has the background and makes an outline, noting the history of the sport near the top. It will be combined with the surfer, Jamie Fraser’s personal surfing history and, she sincerely hopes, a bit of his personal history too. The Scottish Sun is no rag. They don’t search for the rubbish on their featured people but a bit of color is always helpful.

Gathering up her notebook and recorder, she heads off to meet her newest interviewee. She is meeting him at Stoer Bay. ��The drive takes a good hour. During that time she tries to line up her questions. She finds it helps to have an idea what to ask and, more important, the sequence to ask them.

A lass. A bloody lass. The only lass he has ever been able to be himself around is his sister, Jenny. Now he is to impress this reporter, Claire Beauchamp. He paces up and down the shore line, his mind struggling to calm his racing heart. The waves are beautiful and he longs to be riding the face of one instead of…

“Jamie Fraser?” her accent is a mix of English and several other things. He stops pacing and turns. Then totally loses himself. For she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.

He is taller then she expected with amazing curls, of chestnut color that seem more red in the sun. He turns when she calls him but doesn’t speak. “Jamie, I am Claire Beauchamp. I believe you are expecting me?” Still he stands, mouth slightly open. Goodness, is he a dullard?

Speak Jamie before you really throw a spanner in the works. She is already looking at you like you’ve nae sense! His mental arse kicking finally engages his mouth. “I am. I am sorry mistress. I didn’t expect someone so..” So what Jamie? You can’t say beautiful or she will think you a pervert. “Young.” He mental let’s out his breath.

“Well I thank you. I am not that young. You may call me Claire. May I call you Jamie?”

“Aye Claire.”

“Wonderful. We can do this one of several ways. We can sit down here.” She nods to the table, “Or we can walk the shore. Whatever you are more comfortable with.”

He chuckles. “I honesty Claire. I am more comfortable out in the water. But I doubt your little machine is water proof.”

She returns his chuckle. “Not that water proof or am I dressed for it.” She wears casual clothes, knowing she was doing an interview on the beach. Jeans, with a blue button down blouse, tucked in. Kicks on her feet. Her hair, a mane of dark circles that perpetually drive her crazy, are in a high tail.

“Aye, I see you aren’t.” He is. With swim trunks and a t-shirt that clings to his muscles, he is the picture of a healthy Viking male.

“No. So here or..”

“Let’s walk.” She thought as much. He seems the type that needs to be active. They start out. She asks him how he came to enter the sport. “By pure accident. My da gifted me with a boogie board when I was five. By the end of the summer, I was riding small waves with it. Riding the faces just came natural. Like I was born to surf.”

She has her title. “Born to surf.” Or so she thinks at the time. “So you went from a boogie board to a surf board when?”

“I was ten and two. My da keep gifting me with bigger boards until he saw I needed the real thing. Saved up for half a year. For my birthday he gave it to me.”

“What a wonderful gift.”

“Aye, I wish he could have seen me use it. Before I could get in the water, he was felled by a stroke. It came out of nowhere.”

She stops, dumb for a moment. That wasn’t in any of the background she had looked up on him. He stops beside her, looking down and kicking at the sand. Now why had he told her that? He hadn’t meant to. It wasn’t a secret it just wasn’t discussed. “I am truly sorry Jamie.” A shrug as he continues to examine the sand.

“Twas a long time ago.”

“Eleven years. Not so long.” She was right. It wasn’t. The ache he feels when he thinks about him.. Murtagh had done his best and Jenny saw that he was raised as right as she could but..

“I started competitive surfing when I was thirteen. Won several competitions before I finished upper school.” His head is back up and he is walking again. Moving on. Alright.

“Did it become your life or is there something or someone else that occupies your time?”

He grins as he looks out at the ocean. The waves are stunning. A sigh as he turns back to Claire. “Chasing waves is the majority of my life but there are two lasses that own me heart and soul. Maggie and Kitty.” Now he is referring to his nieces but doesn’t make that clear. Murtagh wants him to have more of a ladies man persona.

“Do the ladies have knowledge of each other?”

He grins slyly as he prepares to stretch the truth a bit more. “Well Maggie is aware of Kitty but Kitty isn’t aware of Maggie.” Or anyone else as she is only a week old.

“Living dangerously Jamie.”

“I am a surfer. It is in my blood.”

“Anyone else or is it just those two? No ladies on each shore?”

“Those are the two I love.” Oh Jenny will want to kill him for using her lassies such but, he doesn’t wish to straight out lie.

It is enough to get her started. Unlike some of her colleagues, she doesn’t like to do long, drawn out interviews. She prefers short, quick ones, ones that keep her subjects on edge. The last one she will do, will tie everything together. That will be long. It is a surprise to Jamie when she announces that is it for today. A welcome one. Now he doesn’t have to keep telling little half truths. One reason he dislikes interviews.

#my writing #outlander fanfic #chasing waves #Chapter 1 #new story #jamie and claire #cannon divergence #outlander fandom #modern au

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ibelieveinharrystyles · 4 years

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Chapter One: You Bring Me Home

Always Golden Masterlist

August 2019

Harry was lonely, isolated in fact. He was part of an industry full of creative and wonderful people, yet he was still alone. He lay in the bed in Anne’s spare room, staring at the blank ceiling, compared to the ceiling in his childhood bedroom it was lifeless, his old ceiling was covered in marks from all the times he had tried to catapult toys into the air as a child, convinced they could fly. He really must have been alone if he was that deep in thought about his beloved ceiling. If he was completely honest he had no clue why he was back home, since the fallout with Ashley he had felt lost in London, opting to spend months in Japan and Italy. Half of him hoped he might accidentally bump into her, he knew full well it was Linda’s birthday, and he knew what Ashley was like, she wouldn’t want her mum spending her birthday alone.

His lonely thoughts were interrupted by a light tap on the door, he shot up as his mum entered the room, “Morning love, I’ve got bacon for sandwiches, but no bread, you couldn’t run down to the bakery could you and grab a loaf?” Anne asked, her charm and grace echoing through the room.

“Of course mum, give me five and I’ll be on my way.” Harry hauled himself out of bed, grabbing the first pair of jeans and a yellow t-shirt from his suitcase. He slipped on a pair of vans and made his way downstairs and out into the early morning summer sun. As much as he loved the big cities he was lucky enough to travel to, Harry always found comfort in Holmes Chapel, maybe it was the people, maybe it was the pace of life, whatever it was, it put him at ease. The walk into the village wasn't a long one, just long enough to listen to a couple of the demos for his next album, something he was incredibly proud of.

“Barbara! Look who it is!” Harry stepped into the bakery, the familiar smell of fresh bread and cakes hitting him almost instantly, “How’ve you been Harry?” Claire asked from behind the counter.

“I’m good, just popped up to see mum for the weekend, she’s run out of bread, so I said I’d grab her a loaf.” Harry explained.

“Well Barbara’s just unpacking some, I’ll see if she has any of Anne’s favourites.” Claire disappeared into the backroom, leaving Harry with no one but the massive poster of teenage him for company.

“Mummy can I get a rainbow donut?” A young voice asked as the door to the bakery swung open, not wanting to get in anyone’s way, Harry stepped back staring at the reply Gemma had sent him about what they were getting Anne for her birthday.

“I don’t think they do those here poppet, I think they’re a London thing.” Harry’s heart jumped, he looked up at the woman and her daughter stood looking at the cake counter, it was her, it was Ashley. She looked different, her once brunette hair now had a golden haze to it, and she had a different glow about her. “What do you want then monkey? The gingerbread man or the pink cupcake?” Harry admired the sweet interaction, not wanting to interrupt or cause a scene.

“Pink cake please mummy, and can we get one for Nanny’s birthday?” Harry watched in awe, the little baby he had once cradled in his arms was now an adorable little lady, the spitting image of her mum.

“Ashley! It’s wonderful to see you!” Claire chimed as she returned with Harry’s bread, “How long are you up here for?”

“We’re heading home tomorrow morning,” Ashley glanced at Claire, who was looking straight past her at Harry who stood awkwardly at the back of the shop, with no clue how to handle the situation. She turned to see what Claire was looking at, the man who she hadn’t seen she stormed away from him in the middle of Hammersmith.

She wavered on her feet, he looked well, he had clearly been working out more since the last time she saw him, his shoulders were broader. His hair was tousled in its usual messy yet styled way, as always he was exceptionally dressed, leaving Ashley feeling very underdressed in her jeans and Live Aid t-shirt. “Long time no see.” Harry whispered, struggling to find words to end the awkward silence.

“There’s a reason for that,” Ashley replied bitterly, handing Claire the money and taking the cakes from the counter, “And you bloody well know why.” She took her daughter’s hand and pulled her from the bakery, the pair striding back to the car where Will sat waiting.

“Who was that man mummy?” Daisy asked as Ashley opened the car door.

“No one darling, no one you need to worry about.”

“What was that all about?” Claire asked, handing Harry his loaf of bread.

“I was an idiot a while back, I don’t think she’s forgiven me, and frankly I can’t blame her.” Harry explained.

“You two were great together, thicker than thieves, I remember when you both got your saturday jobs here. Dynamic duo we called you.” Claire smiled, she was right, Harry had fond memories of washing up beside Ashley, singing Shania Twain and Joni Mitchell songs as they made their way through a mountain of dirty trays and plates.

“Clearly we’re just not the same people we used to be.” Harry replied, handing Claire a five pound note as she passed him the fresh loaf, “Have a lovely day Claire, keep the change.”

“Daisy, sit still please,” Ashley sighed, it was a cool summer evening and she was sitting in the passenger seat of Will’s broken down car. They were meant to be taking Linda out for her birthday, but Will’s car had decided to throw a spanner in the works. Daisy, like any other three year old was grizzly, and getting restless. “Will, for christ sake just call the breakdown people.” Ashley huffed as her boyfriend stood with the bonnet up trying to work out what was wrong with the car.

“What do you think I’ve done?” Will sighed, “They said it’ll be a two hour wait.”

“Brilliant, bloody brilliant. Sorry about this mum, I had hoped we’d be there soon, but who knows at this point.”

After another half an hour, Will was still adamant he knew what to do, Daisy had been through all sorts of tantrums. Just as Ashley was about to give up another vehicle pulled up beside them, expecting it to be the breakdown service, Will put the bonnet down to see the headlights didn’t belong to a van, but rather a large Audi pulled up instead. The driver wound down the window as Will approached, “Do you need any help?” The man in the car asked.

“Not sure how much you can do for me mate, think this one is passed it.” Will explained.

“In that case can I give you a lift somewhere?” He asked.

“Are you sure? there’s four of us, we’re on the way to dinner.” Will explained.

“It’s not a problem, honestly.”

“Cheers mate, I’ll let my girlfriend know, I’m Will by the way.” He smiled.

“Harry.” The audi driver smiled.

Will returned to his car, “This guy’s going to give us a lift, said he’ll drop us in town.” he explained to Ashley who was getting fed up with waiting.

“Perfect!” she chimed, climbing out of the car, she took Daisy out of the back to get her into the new car. As she opened the back door, the driver turned to face her, offering a warm smile. Talk about convenient, the one person she had hoped to avoid was going to drive her and her family to dinner.

The car ride was almost silent, apart from Daisy talking about all sorts of nonsense. Eventually Will managed to put two and two together, realising who Harry actually was. They pulled up outside the restaurant and Linda turned to Harry, “Thank you so much for that Harry love, I owe you for that.”

“It’s not a problem Linda, honestly, I was coming this way anyway.” Harry assured her.

“Why don’t you join us?” Linda smiled, this was all Ashley needed.

“I wouldn’t want to intrude, honestly.” Harry replied.

“I’m sure Harry’s a busy man.” Will muttered bitterly from the back seat.

“Harry it’s my birthday, and I want to say thank you, you’re joining us.” Linda insisted.

Dinner was awkward to say the least, the waiter had just come to collect their empty dinner plates, and Ashley couldn’t help but wait for it to be over. Daisy was transfixed on Harry, seeing as she couldn’t remember him, he was far more new and exciting than anyone else sat around that table. Harry sat beside Linda, who was doing her very best to keep the conversation civil. “So Harry, when are we getting new music? Ash got me a record player for my birthday and I’m itching to buy some records for it.” Linda told him.

“I’m hoping, if everything goes to plan, to have it out by the end of the year.”

“Sounds wonderful Harry, I have missed you awfully,” Linda smiled, to her Harry was like the son she never had, she adored him completely, so when a wedge was driven between Harry and Ashley, she was heartbroken to say the least, Linda noticed the stale atmosphere, and decided to remove herself from the situation, “Tell you what Daisy, shall we go and see if we can find the puddings?” Linda asked, taking Daisy’s hand and leading her over to the bar.

“She’s grown up a lot hasn’t she?” Harry said, gesturing towards Daisy, in an attempt to make some sort of conversation.

“Yeah, she starts nursery next month,” Ashley smiled gently, appreciating Harry’’s desire to keep things civil.

“I mean you’d know that, if you’d been around for the past two years.” Will told him sternly, Ashley hadn’t ever seen Will like that before, maybe it was jealousy, maybe it was something else. He had a vague idea of the fallout between Harry and Ashley, and he knew about their history.

“Will, leave it out.” Ashley replied, trying not to cause a scene, knowing pictures of Harry would end up plastered all over tomorrow's news.

“Well it’s not like he’s been there to see her grow up is it?” Will chimed in again.

“And I suppose you have?” Harry replied, “I supported Ashley and Daisy as much as I possibly could in her first year.”

“Throwing money at a problem doesn’t make it go away.” Will answered back.

“I hold my hands up, I spent a fair amount of money on Ashley and Daisy, but one thing that never changed, is the love I have for them both, I treated Daisy like she was my own daughter and I would sure as hell do it again.” Ashley was taken aback by Harry’s little speech, she didn’t expect Harry to be so honest about where he went wrong.

“I appreciate the sentiment, but they have me now.” Will told him bluntly.

“You’re right, they do. This was a bad idea,” Harry stood up, taking his wallet from the pocket of his trousers, “Take this for the meal, I’ve cost you enough trouble.”

“We don’t need your money.” Will replied.

“I know you don’t, I know how much Ash earns, but I want to treat my friend, so that's what I’m doing, have a lovely evening.” Harry placed the wad of cash on the table before turning to leave. Ashley let out a sigh as he left the restaurant, rolling her eyes at Will.

“What?” Will asked.

“You just couldn’t help yourself could you?” Ashley replied.

“Hang on a minute, last thing you told me, you said you never wanted to see the face of that jumped up egotistical walking gucci campaign ever again.”

“Those are your words, not mine.” Ashley told him forcefully.

“I’m not wrong though am I? He used you and when he got bored you were hung out to dry, you’re better off out of it.” Will said sternly, taking a sip of his beer.

It’s more complicated than that Will, and I’m afraid it always will be.”

#BEST FRIEND HARRY #Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #one direction #watermelon sugar mv #harry styles imagine #sign of the times #harry styles one shot #imagine #fanfiction #one shot #harry styles imagines

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sablelab · 4 years

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Covert Operations - Chapter 129

SYNOPSIS: Fergus tests his friend’s theory about the calibrator and Madeline and Operations discuss Murtagh’s and later Fergus’ answers. After his interrogation, Fitzgibbons tells his buddy that he has nothing to worry about, but Fergus is still nervous on being summoned to the White room. However, an apparent equipment malfunction puts a spanner in the works.

Chapter 128 and all other chapters can be found at … https://sablelab.tumblr.com/covertoperations

My THANKS to all the lovely readers following this story. Jamie has taken Claire to a little piece of paradise to heal and recover and this will be explored in several chapters to follow beginning this Friday. Meanwhile Section One is still ticking over and Fergus Claudel is now in Madeline’s sights as he will find out when he enters the White Room for his interrogation.

CHAPTER 129

Once Murtagh had left the White Room, Madeline contacted Operations in his office via a video link up to discuss what had happened during his questioning. They had already discussed the possibility of Murtagh and Fergus being the source passing Intel to Colum, but Operations had quickly dismissed that notion. He was convinced that they were opportunists not traitors. Nonetheless, she had needed to check this out and now after the senior operative’s interrogation she was of the same opinion. Still waters ran deep with Murtagh Fitzgibbons but his loyalty to the Section seemed steadfast. Madeline was interested in Operations’ take on proceedings and wanted to know if they were on the same page concerning Murtagh’s mindset. She waited for the visual linkup to become activated. When it did so, she asked her question. “Dougal? Did you follow the interrogation?” In his office, Operations sat back thoughtfully in his chair pondering what he had just witnessed in the White Room. His image appeared on screen and Madeline heard his reply. “Yes.” “What are your thoughts? I'd appreciate them.” “What about? Murtagh’s denial? His impending marriage? Or what he said about Colum?” Madeline heard the growing scepticism in Operations’ voice. “All three of course. I’d be thankful for your feedback and point of view.” He gave her a wry smile. “Do you think Murtagh is telling the truth?” Madeline watched him, her mind already turning over possible scenarios about the answers Murtagh had given in her own mind. “I've studied his file very carefully. Reviewed his evaluations; assessed his psychological profile in great detail in the past.” “And?” Madeline smiled and shook her head, as perplexed as Operations. “I don't know. I can only go on what I saw and heard in the White Room … and I’m sure he is.” “I agree.” “He denied that Bóinne Rivière is the mole. What do you think?” “Could be his hormones have clouded his judgement. But … It’s possible. She does have unlimited access to Med Lab.” “We need to follow that up.” “Does Murtagh know that she will be put into abeyance regardless if she is the mole? She has been earmarked for the Somalia mission.” “No. Besides … nobody asked him to marry someone with a weak performance record.” “How do you think he’ll react if he does?” Ever cold and calculating she replied, “He'll put it behind him, in time.” “We don't have time Madeline.” The urgency in Operations voice was evident and it gave her cause to think. Section’s head strategist’s thought processes were churning in how to deal with the situation about Bóinne and Murtagh. “Perhaps we should postpone any talk of her abeyance for a while until we sort out this mess with Colum then.” “I’ll consider it … but if she’s the mole I won’t hesitate to follow through.” After a moment Madeline offered another solution to their dilemma although it was farfetched. “We could cancel Murtagh too. If Bóinne is the plant surely he would know about it.” However, Operations quickly dismissed that idea. “I don't want to do that ... He was adamant that she had no involvement.” Madeline unemotionally voiced another reason … one that would impact on Section. If they indeed acted on her previous suggestion, it could have greater ramifications in the long run. “And if a ... key member … of the Tactical Team dies just after he's been questioned ... it will only complicate things further.” Operations nodded his head briefly, his expression affirming Madeline's insinuation. “That, too. Mr Lambert would certainly be breathing down our necks wanting to know the reasons why. Murtagh has been here as long as I can remember.” “Colum would take great delight in that happening,” she added in clarification. “Too true. We can’t let that come about Madeline. We need to find the culprit who is feeding Intel to him A.S.A.P. We also can’t afford for Colum to know we may suspect him of treachery.” Madeline wondered if the same could be said of Fergus when his turn came to be interrogated. “Perhaps Mr Claudel can shed some light on the matter.” “We have a small window of opportunity while Jamie and Claire are away to get to the bottom of this.” “Let me work on it.” Operations sighed and nodded his head, just relieved that Madeline would find who was responsible once and for all. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ After his harrowing experience with the calibrator, Fergus made his way back to his own station and waited for his fate. Sitting down at his desk, he raised his hand and brushed away some beads of sweat that had pooled on his forehead and upper lip. He was nervous about being summoned to the White Room and he feared what might occur there. He knew he needed to get a grip or else Madeline would hone in on his weakness as she was apt to do to her victims. If she was true to form, then he knew he was a goner. She would be able to see through his demeanour and nervousness and would be able to know he was lying. No matter what Murtagh had said to appease his anxiety Fergus was still worried. He would only feel better if he knew that his buddy was okay after his inquisition. Opening his drawer Fergus took out packet of his favourite Oreos and started to demolish them one by one. The sugar fix immediately began to have an effect and he began to calm down. However, he nearly choked on a biscuit and jump ten feet in the air when a hand suddenly touched him on the shoulder. “Hey Fergus …” Quickly turning around he knew right away who was standing there. A Cheshire sized grin appeared on his face at seeing Murtagh at his desk. Relief crossed his face a seeing his friend while his eyes examined him from head to toe. “You’re back!” he stated excitedly knowing that his friend had survived the investigation. “How did it go?” “Piece of cake.” “How was it really Murtagh?” Fergus asked lowering his voice so as not to attract attention. “Fine … I’m still here aren’t I?” He smiled at seeing his buddy’s apprehension. Murtagh showed him his hands. “See … I have no signs of torture and I’m all in one piece.” Fergus gave him a thorough appraisal before acknowledging the truth of his words. “I’ve never been happier to see you come back alive … well except for after the retrieval mission.” “Thanks amigo.” “Do you think they’ll want to see me?” “They’re got everyone under suspicion. The security breach is unresolved in Madeline’s opinion. They’re holding the general inquiry after all, but don’t worry … it’s not too bad.” “I’d like to believe you … I want to believe you … but I’m still scared.” “You survived Operations’ interrogation, didn’t you?” He answered cautiously. “Yes.” “And you were able to think on your feet?” He was still apprehensive not knowing where Murtagh was heading in his replies. “Yes … but …” However, before anything else could be said, a message was conveyed that got Fergus' attention. “Mr Claudel … Report to Madeline.” Nervously he looked up at Murtagh standing there. He took a deep breath, sighed and got ready to leave his station. “This is it then.” The older operative looked him square in the face. “Did you do what I told you?” “Yes.” He said nothing at first, just looked around Comm., before concentrating on his friend’s worried face. Murtagh knew what needed to be done. He gave Fergus the encouragement he required to face his demons in order to answer Madeline’s questions. He smiled reassuringly.

“Then you’ll be okay. Good Luck.” Fergus didn’t reply as he got up from his station. Looking stunned he just exited his work area like a dead man walking and left Murtagh with thoughts of how his friend would cope with his first investigation at the hands of Section One’s head strategist. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As he watched Fergus walk away, Murtagh put his hands up and rubbed his temples a little worried about how his friend would cope with Madeline’s questions. He hated seeing his buddy get so worked up about what his fate may be, but he had great confidence that he would come through it with flying colours. Murtagh’s brain was a minefield of questions but few answers and in seeing Fergus walk away so miserably to his unknown fate in the White Room gave him cause to ponder. Madeline could be ruthless in her manner and he wondered if Fergus could cope with the tactics used by Section’s interrogator. She had been forthright with him about the breach but particularly in her questioning about Bóinne. However, it appeared that Madeline was more interested to know about a mole operating in Section. This was the first he had known of such a thing and the fact that she had been suspicious of Bóinne made him think that something had really upset the apple cart with Section’s leaders. They were concerned that someone was passing Intel on to Colum Mackenzie... but why would Madeline suspect him of such a thing? It was beyond comprehension. He may have had disagreements about how things were run in Section but he was still loyal as he’d told her. When Madeline had brought up the hologram of Bóinne and him, he was more than surprised that they viewed her as the possible person responsible for being the mole. Perhaps that was why she had probed his connection to her. She didn’t suspect him per se but others close to him were targets and whatever this person may have done, had certainly ruffled the feathers of Operations and Madeline. What on earth Colum knew, or had done, was certainly riling them. Why would the leader of Oversight want medical Intel about Jamie and Claire? Just what was going on between the leader of Oversight and Section One? Madeline seemed very irate that he seemed to have more Intel on the two operatives than he should have. He was in a conundrum just thinking about where this was all going. It was all very perplexing. Whatever Colum Mackenzie knew was certainly a thorn in their side but he was intrigued at the same time. Why would Colum need Intel on Jamie and Claire? What reasons or motives would he have to know this Intel? And come to think of it why was he always showing up at Section unannounced? The more he thought about it, the more curious were his thoughts. The only thing he could think of was that Colum was merely concerned about the operatives’ health out of courtesy or he was worried about their return to the Rising Dragons’ mission if they were not 100% fit and well. He shook his head racking his brain for other scenarios but was coming up with nothing else. No doubt when he gave it more thought he would get to the bottom of why Madeline and Operations were concerned about a mole passing Intel on to Colum and why he needed the Intel in the first place. Something was certainly going on in Section since Jamie and Claire had started their downtime that was for sure. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fergus’ technician, Marsali noticed that Murtagh Fitzgibbons seemed to be in a pensive mood when she saw him standing by the techie’s station watching his friend leave Comm. He hadn’t moved and he just stood there as if he was thinking about something. Having observed his actions, she came over to check on the older operative and lightly touched his shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?” She asked her voice laced with concern. Murtagh dropped his hands and looked at the young woman. “Yeah, I'm all right.” “What’s wrong? Is Fergus okay?” She asked worried for her co-worker. “Where’s he going with such a glum look?” He gave her a quick glance. “To see Madeline.” “Tearing him away from those computers is almost impossible,” she replied with a smile on her face, however, her smile faded as she continued, “There must be a good reason why Madeline wants to see him. Is it about the breach?” “Yes.” A look of anxiety suddenly flashed across her face. “Oh!” Marsali stood there for a moment longer deep in thought before she walked back to her computer. She sat down and turned back over to face Murtagh.

“He’s not in trouble, is he?” He watched Marsali’s movements and looked over at her and met her gaze too. There was an earnest expression on her face. Her concerned attitude about her colleague was gratifying and Murtagh appeased her with his reply.

“No … He’s got nothing to worry about.” “I sure hope so. You know how Fergus gets so intense about things.” “He'll be fine.”

Murtagh gave the technician a wry smile. Subconsciously he hoped that this would be true but he had no idea how Madeline would go about questioning his friend. Fergus had done what he’d told him to do so he would be fine … he just had to keep his cool. With much to consider, he moved away from the computer area and made his way towards Munitions to wait for his friend’s return from his inquisition. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ With a heavy burden on his shoulders, Fergus Claudel apprehensively made his way to the White Room. Concentrating on his fate he was unaware of the people around him. His head was lowered and he failed to see anyone who passed him by. Fergus was naturally nervous about a lot of things so they were not surprised about his demeanour this time. Operatives knew that he was distracted by something and given that he was heading towards the White Room they put two and two together. It was common knowledge that Madeline and Operations had instigated a general inquiry and they knew at some point in time that they too would need to face the music. That would explain why the techie was acting as if he was heading towards the gallows. Fergus knew he would need to suck up his fears though if he was to have any chance of appearing unfazed by what was ahead of him. However, Madeline always made him feel nervous and he knew he would need to bite the bullet on this occasion but he questioned whether he had the nerve to do so. He brought to mind his conversation with Murtagh. He only hoped that by doing what his buddy had told him with the calibrator would give him the courage that he needed to get through Madeline’s questions and come out the other side unscathed. However, it was Murtagh’s reminder about his meeting with Operations about the breach that was giving him more confidence the closer he got to the White Room. Operations had believed him and he’d backed up his claims to his satisfaction so Fergus hoped he could convince Madeline of the same conclusion. He thought about what his pal had said also that the session in the White Room was a piece of cake and he hadn’t been tortured. He desperately hoped it would be the same for him as well. If he was able to control his nerves then he was sure that he would be okay. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Section’s IT genius saw his destination come into view but he also saw Henry and Elizabeth waiting there for him to arrive. Nervously he walked up to them. Facing the steel door of the White Room, he was reluctant to enter, but was helped along in his decision by the twins who were there to escort him in if needs be. Noting Fergus’ hesitation, they moved to stand either side of him. However, before they could touch him, he shook them off.

“I know the drill,” he announced with gusto and with head held high he walked inside the room. Upon entering he sat himself down in the chair where he was restrained by the two operatives. He was a bit worried as he glanced quickly about the bright, empty room taking in his surroundings. It was cold, stark and foreboding. So this is what the White Room is like.

Now he knew what it was like for the terrorists who were interrogated here. The glaring white lights in the circular room were blinding, and Fergus felt a tension headache forming. Henry and Elizabeth stood to the side and he watched them through half closed eyes as they readied what Madeline might need for this session of questioning. He began to fidget a little as he sat in the chair nervous at what would unfold. Murtagh had said he hadn’t been tortured but nonetheless the pounding of his heart sounded thunderous in his head, while the hairs on the back of his neck rose up. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a syringe which could only mean one thing … they were going to inject him with a truth serum. He became more agitated at this fact and silently prayed that what he’d endured with the calibrator would help him with this grilling. Fergus knew he was scared, but … he was not defeated. He would show courage under duress. Summoning all the nerve he had inside he took a deep breath and waited for Madeline to appear. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ It felt like he’d been there for ages but it was only minutes before Fergus Claudel heard the heavy steel door open. The silence was shattered by the creaking hinges of the door and the sound of Madeline’s footsteps echoing in the room accompanied by her greeting.

“Hello, Mr Claudel.” As was her usual procedure, she circled the chair before beginning her questioning to put him off guard. It was working and had the desired effect. Fergus was well and truly shaking in his boots.

“Why am I here? I didn't do anything,” he blurted out. “That’s what I aim to find out Mr Claudel,” Madeline replied composedly. “I don’t know what it is that you want to know.” Madeline continued pacing slowly, circling Fergus as she spoke. She advanced on the chair intimidating him as she came closer and closer.

“Oh … but I think you do.” This reply made Fergus very worried. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Obeying orders, Elizabeth attached a small electrode to Fergus’ fingers then returned to the table to monitor his reactions to Madeline’s questioning. This was his first experience in the White Room and his nerves were in overdrive. “Please don't hurt me,” he implored. “I didn’t know I was going to be tortured.” “That’s not my intention … but you may or may not be … the decision will be entirely up to you. It will however, be at my discretion for Henry and Elizabeth to help with your questioning … if answers are not forthcoming.” The pupils in Fergus’s eyes had grown to the size of saucers as a result of Madeline’s statement. “Shall we begin?” All he could do was nod in acknowledgement. “Your name.” “Fergus Claudel.” “Your rating.” “Technical Operative, Level Two.” Madeline paced behind Henry and Elizabeth asking Fergus questions, while they oversaw and monitored the various readings. However, they were just getting a static line with his responses. “I'm not getting any kind of reading at all. Just noise.” Madeline looked down at Elizabeth and asked, “Is it the equipment?” “No. It's fine,” she responded after performing a quick status check on the apparatus and connections. Refocusing her attention back on Fergus, Madeline continued the questions. “Are you on active status?” “Yes.” Once again, Henry and Elizabeth got the same reaction … no significant reading. “No … Still not working,” they interrupted. “What's going on?” Madeline demanded as she turned and glared over at the two torture technicians. They in turn looked up at her. “A small percentage of operatives don't respond to testing. It seems that Fergus could be one of those.” Madeline walked over to the computer and pulled up Fergus' profile. It showed that he'd never been through this type of questioning before … that could explain the anomaly. “Try it again,” she instructed leaning over and hitting the button to reset Henry and Elizabeth's equipment. Again Henry shook his head and gave Madeline an apologetic shrug when he got the same reading. “Nope. ... It is possible there's been a change in body chemistry from being exposed to EMFs from his computer system.” “They can cause interference with the cell processes and functions,” Elizabeth added in clarification. Focusing her attention back on Section’s computer genius, it became obvious that dealing with all those computers for so long each day had obviously affected his metabolism with the unseen electromagnetic radiation waves which had in turn probably interfered with the machinery. It made sense.

“Very well. We’ll discontinue this experiment.” Elizabeth removed the various electrodes attached to Fergus while Henry packed up their equipment then waited for further instructions from Madeline. “You can go. If I need you again … I’ll call.”

They quietly left her alone with an extremely nervous Fergus who realized that, while he didn't fail the test, he obviously didn't pass it either. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He was extremely worried that the equipment malfunction and his responses had displeased Madeline and had put a spanner in the works to see if he was telling the truth. He wondered what she would do next and the fact that there seemed to be an awful long pause before Madeline stated her next question made him more alarmed. Her question when she asked it was one, he’d thought was done and dusted. “Why were you and Murtagh Fitzgibbons in a restricted area?” “I’ve already told you.” “I know what you told me; now tell me again. This time, the truth.” “I did tell you the truth.” He swallowed nervously. “I haven't done anything wrong. We were just on our way to the Common Area but took a wrong turn … that’s all.” “Why should I believe you now? What is it that you're not telling me?” “Nothing.” Fergus looked at Madeline face and knew immediately that he would have to elaborate more information to satisfy her, “Because I was trying to help him.” “Why?” “Because I had just seen him go through hell and I wanted to make things better. Murtagh was wound up about what had happened to Jamie and Claire and the retrieval mission and we had gone for a walk to clear his head.” “And you did this out of the goodness of your heart?” “Out of a thing called friendship.” “I see.”

Madeline circled the chair contemplating his reactions to her questions. She came to the conclusion that he didn’t seem to be holding anything back so questioned him on the commotion in Section.

“Did you have anything to do with the Breach?” With confidence he answered succinctly. “The Breach was a false alarm. I gave Operations the evidence that proved so and he was satisfied with my findings.” “Yes of course.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Madeline was impressed with how the young computer whizz had not been fazed by her questions but had remained steadfast despite his obvious nervousness. Collecting her thoughts, she knew she had been harsh on Fergus but she needed to be 100% sure that he was not in any way responsible. His answers were totally consistent with what he had told Operations, however, Madeline still needed to question him on the fact that there may be a spy in Section. If he proved to her satisfaction that it was not him, perhaps he could find out who it was that was feeding Colum Intel on an all too regular basis. “What is your relationship with Colum Mackenzie?” Fergus was surprised by this query. He looked at Madeline baffled by this line of questioning as it was completely out of left field. “I don’t have a relationship other than he is the head of Oversight.” “What would you say if I knew you were passing Intel to him on a regular basis?” Appalled that Madeline would insinuate such a thing, Fergus reacted strongly, “What! That’s lie! I would never do anything to compromise Section.” “Never forget what we do here. I don't need hard data to draw a picture but I do need to know where my operatives stand at all times … including you Fergus.” Protesting loudly, he replied. “I'm here for the Section!” “I hope so,” she replied studying his face intently and seeing the reaction she wanted. Then without further ado, Madeline stepped behind the chair and released his restraints. “Congratulations, you passed with flying colours.” Fergus was dumbfounded. “I don't get it.” He was perplexed at Madeline’s replies and actions, but he suddenly knew that this inquisition was nothing about the breach itself but was a test of his loyalty to Section One. He sat in the chair and waited to be dismissed, however, Madeline continued on a different tack … one that took him by surprise. “We believe that Section’s been compromised.” “Who did this?” “We don't know yet. Someone inside. It appears that the mole may have been on site.” “Inside Section?” How do you know this?” “Someone’s been passing Intel to Colum. We need you to find out who it is.” Fergus realised that his presence in the White Room was to gauge if he was aware that there was a mole in Section and if he had any knowledge about who may be passing on this Intel to Colum. Oversight’s head must know more than Operations and Madeline wanted him to. As Section’s head computer technician, it was apparent that he had the skills to find out how and where Colum had access to Section One. Madeline and Operations would want nothing less from him. It was obvious that they suspected that a mole had infiltrated Section One without their knowledge and Fergus knew that they wouldn’t rest until the mole was found. “I'll do whatever I can. I'll do whatever you want,” he replied with assurance. “Good. We know what you are and are not capable of; hence Operations and I need you to do something.” Fergus looked at her with reticence and asked, “What?” “We need to you scan Medical for any listening devices or hidden surveillance cameras … but with the upmost discretion. Everyone who works in Med Lab is under suspicion so you’ll need to put a dossier together on all who may have been working there over the last two weeks. Someone’s tipped off Colum. We need to find out whom that person is and we need to solve this problem A.S.A.P.” “I’ll start right away.” “It has to appear as business as usual. That's the only way we can flush out the mole.” Fergus’ mind was at sixes and sevens knowing that he would need to profile Murtagh’s girlfriend Bóinne and Dr Foster. He looked at Madeline hoping that she didn’t see the uncertainty in his eyes of what he’d been ordered to do.

“I understand. Is that all?” “Check out Hayes and Lesley as well,” she continued with a determined resolve. Fergus got up, getting ready to leave. Unfortunately, Madeline wasn’t finished with him. “Oh … there is one other thing … I will expect some progress on this matter quickly. Is that clear?” “Yes, of course.” “Good …That will be all.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ At the end of a long day, Madeline entered the Perch were Operations was waiting for a briefing of the situation with Murtagh, Fergus and several others that she had interviewed over the course of the day. They had already spoken earlier about Murtagh’s connection to their inquiry but he needed the final results of Madeline’s findings before they made any decisions about how to proceed further. Operations had given prior instructions that they weren’t to be disturbed when Madeline arrived due to the sensitivity of the data. The less any others knew about this the better. It was crucial that they kept their cards close to their chest for fear of alerting anyone who may be involved in disclosing any more information to Colum. Operations looked up when he heard Madeline’s footfalls. “I’ve been expecting you.” She came in and stood beside him. He offered Madeline a drink and asked, “How did the session go with Fergus?” “Interesting,” was her overt reply. Operations raised an eyebrow at her answer. “I gather that his interview went well then?” “Yes.” “And the others?” “Questionable,” was her succinct but ambiguous reply. “Sit down Madeline,” he gestured towards the table where some food had been laid out. “What are your impressions? Update me.” “Fergus is loyal to Section.” “That’s a relief … I wouldn’t have wanted to cancel him … He’s too important to the smooth running of things here.” “I agree … but there were some other interesting observations.” “Any problems?” Madeline took a small sip of her coffee then looked up at Operations. “Could be.” Placing the drink on the table she picked up the computer remote to activate a holograph that soon appeared, and proceeded to relay her findings about her sessions in the White Room. “The inquiry was ... inconclusive with respect ... to three Operatives ...” She pulled up holograph photographs of the three named Operatives.

“Hayes and Lesley … and Bóinne Rivière.” Operations was surprised by Madeline’s findings and to see the nurse’s name appear on the list as well. He now understood what his second in command was alluding to. There could be a problem with Murtagh if it was found that she was the mole. “Why them? You obviously have a theory.” Bóinne works in Med Lab and had firsthand knowledge of Jamie and Claire’s conditions and Gavin Hayes and Keith Lesley were in the vicinity of the breach.” “It makes sense. In the meantime, we have to assume … our mole had help from the highest level.” “Precisely.” He looked at her with intense scrutiny. “Who?” “Only one person comes to mind who may know our systems intimately.” Madeline changed the holograph and the three views of the named Operatives changed to a picture of Oversight’s leader. There was no need for a reply. The picture of Colum Mackenzie said a thousand words. “I know why he is doing this.” Operations remarked acrimoniously. “Revenge...” “Makes sense … we have long suspected his motives but if we are to find proof then that is a completely different story.” Operations wondered why Colum would turn a personal vendetta into something more sinister and try to destroy them at Section by keeping tabs on them.

Was his motive more than revenge? Was he planning a coup … or was he impressing Mr Lambert at Centre by stating that he was the better man to run Section One and Oversight and join them under one umbrella? Whatever his reasons they would need to be on top of this quickly before Colum poked his nose into the Rising Dragons’ mission as well. He’d certainly shown that he would if One couldn’t bring the triad to heel. “If I'm right, one of these three Operatives ...” The holograph had switched back to views of Gavin Hayes, Keith Lesley and Bóinne Rivière. “... is working with Colum and could be the one who is passing on Intel to him.” Looking at Operations she stated categorically, “We need to find out which one.” Section One’s leader nodded his acquiesce at her findings, but he needed to know what her plans were.” What about Fergus?” “He is not the mole, but I’m sure he could find out who is.” “So he'll cooperate?” “Yes. We should have some results in due course. Fergus’ loyalty is steadfast and I trust him to be able to find the mole. He'll confirm if there is any extra surveillance in Med Lab and then we’ll know for sure.” This was very pleasing news. “Good. Nothing would make me happier than to have Colum cease meddling in our affairs once and for all.” “I agree. We need to have an end to this and the sooner the better.” Operations cast a look Madeline’s way. “And if Colum is the one who planted any devices here in Section for his own gains then Mr Lambert will be informed. He’ll be reprimanded … demoted …” “There is another option.” “Cancellation?” The gleam in his eye was noticeable. “Yes.” “Keep me posted Madeline. We want this sorted out before the Rising Dragons’ mission resumes.” “Of course, Dougal.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~to be continued on Friday 26th June when we continue where we left with Jamie and Claire in their little bubble in paradise.

#Jamieandclairefanfic #jamieandclairecrossover #jamieandclaireau #the lallybroch library #outlander fanfiction #LFNoutlander #covert operations

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danganronpasurvivoraskblog · 4 years

Text

Mémoire (Part 1)

...

Huh?

*Shuichi sits up after a long nights sleep, still stiff from his injuries the previous day. He awakes to the sound of his phone ringing. He gets up and gets dressed as he answers it.

Hello?

Himiko: Hey! Shuichi! It’s me!

Oh, hey Himiko...What’s up?

Himiko: Come to the music room. You gotta see this!

The music room? Is everyone else there?

Himiko: Yeah! Get over here!

Alright, alright, keep your hat on...

Huh?

...

*Everyone is gathered around the stage in the music room, all looking up at a miniature performance.

...

*Kaede is letting her fingers dance over the keys of the piano, a big smile on her face.

Claire De Lune...

*Pretty much all of the V3 gang are present, except for Miu, who presumably is still working on Keebo. Kaede finishes her performance and everyone begins to clap her.

Thank you.

*She hops off the stage.

So...you finally did it...

Looks like the whole Claire De Lune thing and Memory thing were related.

Well, it’s a good thing you know how to play piano properly again.

Yep! Back in action!

*clap!* *clap!* *clap!*

Huh?

What?

*Suddenly, an additional person sitting at the far back of the classroom begins to clap their hands. No one else noticed them before now, so everyone is caught off guard. However, what catches everyone off guard even more is who actually is clapping.

Man...How have I never been part of a performance like this before...I’d gladly pay to see you jam it out on stage...

Oh...and long time no see guys...

Wha-!?

YOU!

Wh-Wh-Why is HE here?

...

Shuichi...Is this...?

This is what I wanted to tell you about recently...

*Shuichi quickly summarizes everything that happened with Kokichi and Keebo and Mikado.

So...Kaede’s kidnapping was HIS doing...!?

You bet your biscuits...

You know Shuichi, I found you interesting at first, but then I just let spite get in the way of that interest and appreciation...But now, I’m back to appreciating you...Good on you.

Forgive me if I don’t find that comforting.

I do sort of wish things could have gone differently in the past...We could have been great rivals...Or perhaps...even friends...?

Oh, well, there’s no point talking in hypotheticals...

And you needn’t worry. I didn’t show up just to say hi or anything...

Then why ARE you here?

...I’m here to make a proposition.

You see, now that I’ve basically betrayed them, Tsumugi and Zetsubou have stopped funding my cabaret. That means we won’t be able to function anymore...But now, the Future Foundation are agreeing to fund us, so thanks for that...

And what’s your point? Hurry up, before I throw you out...

...

I suggest we cut our remaining ties with each other.

Huh?

You heard me. This is probably going to be the last time I ever converse with any of you...

I don’t want to see any of you ever again...

Fine by me...!

Wait...but...what are you going to do from now on?

Isn’t that obvious?

Mikado was just the beginning...I’m not gonna stop until I bring down all of Organization Zetsubou...

Then why aren’t we cooperating? Teaming up will increase our chances of-

Because I don’t want to work with a group of people who hate me...Simple as that...

C’mon! No one hates you! Right...?

...

Guys?

Kaede...don’t try to deny the reality...And even if things were different, who’s to say our methods won’t conflict again like last time...

Kokichi’s already proven he isn’t above sacrificing others to achieve his aims...

...

Anyway...That’s all I came to say...See you guys...never...

Oh, yeah, I should probably pop off and see Miu before I leave...

*Kokichi exaunts...

Did he really come all this way just to say he doesn’t want anything to do with us...

...Maybe we were a little harsh...

No...This is likely for the best...Refusing to cooperate with us means that we won’t be burdened by Kokichi and his schemes...

...Is that really a good thing though?

Kaito!

Look, I hate him just as much as everyone else here...

But...give him a little credit, he’s clever...We kinda just lost a lot of brain power because of this split...

Maybe you’re right...

...

Kaede?

Oh, don’t worry about me...I’ll be alright...

Alright...

...

*In the tech labs, Miu sets Keebo up on a hoist, getting ready to work on fixing him.

Right...spanners, hammers, other things...did I miss anything?

How about your dignity and self-respect!?

AAAH!

Nihihi...

FUCKING ASSHOLE! How dare you show up here!

Just checking up on you one last time...

One last time?

From this point on, I’m cutting all contact with you guys. We won’t see each other again, unless some freak coincidence happens.

Good! I wouldn’t touch you with a 10 foot dildo! I don’t even want you here! Move on fucker!

Owch, so mean...This is the last time we’ll ever see each other and that’s how you treat me?

Like I give a shit!

...

But...for the record...what do you plan on doing from now on?

Dunno...Overthrow the government?

Get real...

I’m gonna keep running my cabaret...And while I’m at it, I’m gonna bring down the rest of Zetsubou.

If you’re fighting Zetsubou, doesn’t that mean we have a common enemy? We’ll totally run into each other if that’s the case...

...

Tch...Fine by me if you want to die friendless and alone...

I have friends...They just aren’t you...

Good...keep it that way...

...Will do.

*Kokichi leaves.

#danganronpa survivor #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #shuichi saihara #kaede akamatsu #kaito momota #maki harukawa #kirumi tojo #miu iruma #tenko chabashira #himiko yumeno #kokichi ouma #the amnesiac and the alter ego arc

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hannah-deserved-better · 4 years

Text

Psychoanalysis Of Castiel and Hannah

Hannah and Castiel are my favorite characters, I’ve been writing about them for a very long time, and a lot of the time, my stories are a way for me to understand them better. These two characters are the characters I relate to the most for a lot of reasons. Mainly because I think that if they weren’t angels, they would both be on the autism spectrum, so I relate to them on a personal level because I am autistic too.

Hannah is a character that not a lot of people like in the show. She’s unpopular with a lot of fans, and they seem quick to condemn her for her flaws, but to me, she is one of the most misunderstood characters. She did have character flaws and strengths; she was one of the more developed supporting characters on the show. And she complimented Castiel’s personality in many ways.

At the most basic level, Hannah is an angel’s angel. She is bound by heaven’s laws, and she has a strong sense of duty, responsibility, and regulations. For her, everything has its place, and it’s hard for her to understand when people stray from that. She values harmony and order and structure. So the concept of free will was hard for her to wrap her mind around, at least at first.

But at the same time, Hannah is unusual in that, unlike other angels, she seems to have emotions. She is very empathetic. And she doesn’t always understand feelings, how they work inside of her. Often times, she struggles with intense emotions, which causes her to be impulsive and to lash out when she feels she, or someone she cares about, is being slighted or taunted.

Hannah was quick to react with anger to Tessa taunting her, to Metatron teasing her, she did provoke Adina into an altercation, and I feel it’s because she doesn’t always handle these sort of emotions well, she acts out what she feels.

Hannah admired Castiel from the beginning. While other angels blamed him for the fall, Hannah seemed drawn to him as soon as she encountered him, and it didn’t matter to her the reputation he has in heaven. And I think this is an essential strength for Hannah. That even though she values order and rules, she is also somewhat open-minded. She strives to understand things, and Castiel, a rebel, represents everything she’s been taught was wrong. Yet she trusts him anyway.

When she learns about Castiel’s stolen grace, she walked out on him, and a lot of fans seem to get on her case for that, but think of it from her point of view. Stealing another angel’s grace is a pretty abhorrent thing; such a violent act isn’t something Hannah is too familiar with. It goes against everything she’s been taught. And Castiel was someone she admired, she chose to follow despite the chaos he seems to represent, and then to discover what he did, she probably felt betrayed, and she struggled with these feelings of hurt.

But here’s the thing. Hannah has this inherent need to understand. In many ways, she shares that intellectual curiosity with Castiel. If she didn’t, she never would have gone down to that jail cell to talk with Castiel and Gadreel. She wouldn’t have been there if she didn’t want to understand. And as soon as she did understand, she was right back at Castiel’s side.

See, Hannah needs proof. She is an angel who values order, and if someone is to deviate from that order, she needs to understand why she needs proof of why this deviation is necessary. She is an independent thinker in that regard, which again sets her apart from other angels. She is more than just a mindless drone, and I think Castiel sensed that in her, that she has the potential to be more than that.

Also, I don’t think people understand and recall that Hannah endured some trauma. She is a soldier of heaven. And unlike Castiel, she has never been to Earth before the fall. The fall must have been absolutely traumatizing for her. So suddenly fall from heaven, to be on this strange world with all of these strange humans, struggling to find her way in it all. And then, she is tortured by Gadreel.

There is some debate over what happened in that warehouse, but the facts are that Gadreel killed all the angels Hannah was with, and he beat her. When Castiel found her, she was beaten, shaking; she couldn’t even open her eye. She seems to have put up a struggle, but whatever happened, she was in bad condition, and she was left in a room full of dead angels. Angels she probably had to watch be brutally murdered. And at the same time, Metatron had ordered Gadreel to leave one angel alive, and he chose Hannah. Did he pick her at random, was she just the one who fought the hardest, or maybe even he saw something in her. Something valuable.

When Hannah started working on Earth with Castiel, it was clear how quickly she began to evolve. She went from being an angel’s angel who found things like stolen angel grace to be abhorrent, to actually wanting to make deals with Metatron to save Castiel of his fate, a fate that most angels would think he deserved. Including himself, and we will get to Castiel’s issues later.

It’s pretty clear at first that Hannah doesn’t really trust humans. She doesn’t trust Sam or Dean, and she doesn’t think there’s much that can be learned from humanity. But Castiel shows her otherwise, and her fascination with humanity begins to grow. She realizes that there is something more about these creatures.

And as Hannah spends more time on Earth, her emotions and passions begin to grow. She doesn’t understand, and her feelings are a source of some internal conflict for her. Because as she sees Castiel deteriorate, as she grows to care for him, her emotions tend to get the best of her, compelling her to go against her own moral compass to save him. What she once thought was abhorrent, like making deals with Metatron, or even suggesting that Castiel steal more grace, suddenly become more acceptable to her in her desperation as she watches Castiel get weaker and weaker. And she struggles with this conflict.

Eventually, though she tries, her emotions turn to compassion for her own vessel. She gives up her vessel, leaving Castiel, and giving up the one thing she wanted.

Hannah was flawed; she struggled. But she was so brave, compassionate, etc. She was more than just some potential love interest for Cas. She was her own person. She was a leader, and even Metatron once commented that under Hannah’s leadership, heaven had never been so stable.

Hannah left her mark on Castiel. She inspired him to take an interest in his own vessel, and in Claire Novak. And although in the later seasons he and Hannah were at odds, he valued her. And I think he loved her; he was visibly affected by her death in season 11. Castiel believed in Hannah. Even when he was dying of his stolen grace, he believed she could take his place.

And now for Castiel. Castiel is a genuine angel, and he seems to be very rare as far as angels go. He cares deeply for humanity, but he also cares about heaven.

In many ways, Castiel and Hannah are very much alike, especially in the beginning. Castiel was an angel’s angel, he believed in obedience, but through his time with the Winchesters, he became the poster child for free will. He took a stand for freedom. Maybe he had it in him all along.

But his stand for freedom has cost him dearly. I think it’s important to understand that for Castiel, he is stuck in between two worlds. His friendship with Sam and Dean has kept him on Earth, but to think that he has turned his back on heaven is wrong. He still cares about angels. But his internal conflict is the fact that it’s hard for him to care for both angels and humans.

Maybe Castiel always was a rebel at heart. As Naomi calls him a ‘spanner in the works,’ he’s never truly done precisely what he’s told.

Castiel is very genuine, and he has always tried to do good. But he’s made mistakes. I think guilt is Castiel’s constant companion. He puts others before himself, not just because he’s brave, but also because he doesn’t seem to value himself and his own worth.

Castiel has some trauma that has never really been resolved. From standing against Raphael to the fall, guilt has been his constant companion. All he wanted to do was help heaven and help humanity; he couldn’t do both. He tried to teach the angels free will, and it cost him a massive civil war. He went too far, and it all went so wrong, with the leviathans and such.

And that was probably the beginning of Castiel’s feelings of self-loathing. He truly believes he doesn’t deserve salvation because of the things he did to other angels, and the things he did to the Winchesters. The guilt he feels is so enormous that he no longer seems to value his own life. He will fight for others, but not for himself.

As if the civil war with Raphael wasn’t terrible enough, Castiel was tricked into Metatron’s trap on the pretense that he would be helping angels. And that’s the thing about Castiel’s personality. He wants so desperately to help others that he tends to be easily led astray by other’s false promises. With the civil war, he thought he was helping angels by teaching them free will, by trying to give him the freedom he had found with the Winchesters. Here, he thought he was helping angels in attempting to bring them peace- Metatron’s peace, only to be duped again, which ended up causing even more angel deaths.

It’s just ironic that Castiel’s need to help angels is what has led to heaven’s present situation. He has been single-handedly responsible for the angels almost being extinct right now. From making deals with Crowley to making deals with Metatron, it’s all been about helping heaven, and it’s all gone so horribly wrong for him.

And now, Castiel is hated by his own kind, and I think that is a pain he has endured through the years, contributing to his depression. I think it hurts him very deeply because he still longs to be an angel. He wants to find acceptance.

I think that in Castiel’s current mindset, and especially after the fall, he has been depressed- even somewhat suicidal- for a very long time. And I think that is the basis for why he felt uncomfortable with Hannah’s interest in him. Throughout the first few episodes of season 10, Hannah literally begged Castiel to take care of himself. And he shot her down each and every time.

I think Castiel brushed Hannah’s attempts to care for him away because he was uncomfortable with the notion that anyone valued him. Castiel loves the Winchesters, they are his family, but he knows full well that when it comes right down to it, they would pick each other over him no matter what.

And here is this other person, another angel no less, who is literally willing to risk the world by letting Metatron free to save him. This just does not compute with him. That someone would be that desperate for him to stay alive, he’s not used to it.

The Winchesters have both made some pretty potentially world-ending decisions to save each other, but here Hannah is, wanting to do this for Castiel, and at this point, Castiel doesn’t care about his own life.

And I think Hannah’s death probably reinforced it to Castiel that he was of no value to anyone. Even though she literally died fighting at his side. Castiel is so damaged emotionally and mentally, that when we fast forward to the last couple seasons, his deal with the empty just reinforces that.

Castiel loves Jack. Jack is the one thing that made him happy; after a long line of devastating losses, he finally has his one happy thing, which is why it was a no brainer that he would make a deal with the empty to save Jack. But it goes deeper than that. It’s not just that Castiel loves Jack and would put him before himself, it’s also that he values himself so little, and has felt that way for so long, that sacrificing himself for others is almost second nature to him. He is almost eager for a chance to die for someone else.

Castiel is such a kind, genuine person, and he deserves someone who would show him the devotion that he would bestow on them. After everything he’s gone through, after everything he’s endured, he still has this insatiable need to help others, whether it be angels or humans. The Winchesters taught him everything about free will, sacrifice, and standing for what’s right, and it’s cost him so much, but it’s made him stronger, it’s made him a better angel. But I think he really needs a chance to be redeemed. He needs to have one thing in his life succeed.

Castiel and Hannah are so perfect for each other. Through Hannah, Castiel could have learned to value himself. And though Castiel, Hannah could learn to discover her own humanity and embrace the passions that she has within her. They would have been an epic power couple together. They compliment one another so well. They are equals. Neither one overpowers the other. They are both independent thinkers; they are both so strong and brave.

This is why I value these two characters and why I write about them. A lot of this psychoanalysis forms the basis in all my stories. I like to pick about both characters from their relationship with one another to their relationship with humans, other angels, demons, etc.

When I write about Hanstiel Squared, and there are four angels instead of just two, I am still learning how to work out the kinks in those relationships, but I think when it comes to Hannah and Hana (male Hannah, face claim Lee Majdoub), Hannah takes the role of the provider. She is the leader. She is level headed, and her relationship with Castiel is about a long-enduring love that grows stronger as time goes on.

Meanwhile, Hana shares many of Hannah’s personality traits, but he is more spontaneous. He embraces emotions a little easier than she does. He’s playful and patient. He’s the entertainer of the bunch. He’s the listener; he’s extremely patient.

Hannah is the steadfast, devoted, compassionate lover while Hana is the patient, spontaneous, fun-loving lover.

When it comes to the two Castiels, there’s Castiel, and there’s Castielle (female Castielle, face claim Jessa Danielson), Castielle still carries the same need to help others that Castiel does. She suffers from the same guilt that he does, but it comes out as a shy, more withdrawn version of Castiel. She tends to doubt herself, is unsure of herself, afraid of making a mistake. And she has more of a desire to be loved and to seek love.

Castielle sees beauty. She is artistic, creative, and she likes to make people happy by making the world around them beautiful. She loves to nurture, which is something she and Castiel definitely share.

Castiel is the protector; he puts himself at risk to keep those that he loves save. Hannah is the provider, honed with a logical, reasonable outlook, Hana is the listener, and Castielle is the creator and the nurturer.

So that is my analysis. Whether its just Hanstiel or its Hanstiel squared, this is the basic framework for my stories. I love to dig into Cas and Hannah’s psyches, figure out what makes them tick. And as an angsty, dark fic writer, I do enjoy playing their flaws against them. I put them through hell often.

#spn: hannah #Hastiel #Hanstiel #Castiel

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undervaluedagent · 1 year

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Yellow Guy x Claire the Spanner fanfic except it focuses on how much the relationship just kinda sucked and was really uncomfortable.

#undervalued files #not tagging this #unless you want me to tag something you can filter out #but i might elaborate tomorrow on like the kinds of bad things and stuff

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bamby0304 · 5 years

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Spanner in the Works- Ch.13

Series Masterlist

Summary: Your car breaks down, leaving you stranded in a small town. Waiting for your car to get the all clear, you find yourself getting closer to Sam Winchester, the handsome mechanic working on it. Will he be able to break down your walls? Or is this just a pit stop before you continue to run?

A/N: Check out the scent Sam from @scentsfromthebunker for a next-level fanfic experience!!

Warnings: Explicit language. Angst. Like… angst. Mentions of past abuse (child abuse). Mentions of death. Yeah… as Dean put it once… other shoe.

Bamby

The drive to Charlie’s was tense. You’d sat there trying to think of something to say, but before anything came to mind Dean had already pulled in front of the cafe. With a quick order to stay put, her left you sitting there in the Impala. Sighing, you dropped your head back against the seat as you twiddled your thumbs and over thought the situation.

Dean was important to Sam, and despite your fears and unease, Sam was quickly becoming someone important to you. So in the end, you felt the need to get on Dean’s good side.

It wouldn’t change things with you, though. Whether Dean liked you or not, you were doubtful it would help with your dilemma. Your likeability wouldn’t affect the fact that you were hovering on your fight or flight instincts. Part of you desperately wanted to get out while you still could… but then there was the other part. The desperate part. The part that had been on the run and lonely for far too long.

Since your car had broken down and Sam had picked you up, things had been nice- except for the part where you stood on glass. His family- for the most part- were welcoming, and so was the rest of the town. The place was so inviting that you really were tempted to find your own little corner and make the town your new home.

But even though the temptation was there, it was nowhere near as strong as your fear.

The car drivers side door opened before the car shifted under Dean’s weight as he got back in. “Charlie said we gotta wait. She’s backed up with orders,” he explained without looking at you. When you didn’t say anything, he grumbled, “An ex is inside and I thought it would be less awkward in here… but I’m starting to wonder.”

“It doesn’t have to be awkward,” you assured him.

“You’re as quiet as a mouse,” he countered.

“Because every time I talk you shut me down, or roll your eyes.” You watched him with a pointed look. “Pretty hard to make conversation with someone who hates you.”

Shifting on the spot, he curled his hands into fists against his knees before relaxing them. “I don’t hate you.”

“Coulda fooled me.” Turning your back on him, you looked out your own window.

Despite the fact Sam had insisted that Dean didn’t hate you, the way his brother treated you kinda contradicted him. From the moment you’d met Dean, it was like he’d wanted you gone. You honestly felt like he’d hated you from the moment he saw you sitting on the fold-out couch.

“This place, the town… it’s small,” he started. “Everyone knows everyone. I mean…” He paused a moment before gesturing to a lady walking along the path in front of the car. “You see that old lady there? That’s Mrs Sanders. A kooky lady who thinks she can talk to angels.”

Turning back in your seat, you watched him as he focused on what was happening outside of the car.

“And that kid?” He pointed to a little boy hopping along to miss the cracks on the path. “That’s Jack Kline, my best friends’ cousin. Curious little shit,” he mumbled under his breath as a small smile spread across his face. Then he continued searching. “And the couple sitting in the corner booth by the window?”

You turned to look at the diner and spotted said couple.

“Jesse and Cesar. Awesome dudes. Got engaged two months ago.” Dean scanned the area before nodding to some girls crossing the street. “Kaia, Patience, and Claire. They’re three of the sheriff's adopted kids.”

Watching Dean, you realised here wasn’t a single person in sight that he didn’t know. Everyone really did know everyone.

“I don’t hate you,” he noted, turning to catch your gaze. “I just don’t know you. There’s a difference. And because I don’t know you, I don’t trust you.”

“I don’t blame you, Dean. I get i-”

“No you don’t,” he argued as he leaned back in his seat. “I came home, hungover, and found this chick in my home. Of course I’m gonna be suspicious and defensive. But then I watched her get closer to my baby brother. I watched my parents bend over backwards for her. I watched the whole damn town welcome her with open arms. Meanwhile, I still know nothing about her.” He returned the pointed look you’d given him earlier.

Shifting on the spot, you listened to him intently as guilt began to fall on your shoulders.

“I don’t know where she’s from, or why she was in the middle of nowhere when her car broke down. Hell, I don’t even know her last name. No one does.” He shrugged. “And no one questions her, or her intentions, ‘cause she seems like this damsel in distress, and they all lap that shit up.”

Chewing on your lip, you found yourself lost for words. While you knew you didn’t have any bad intentions, that it was all a coincidence, and that you’ve been just as surprised with how welcoming everyone else has been, you didn’t know how to reassure Dean of that.

“So tell me… how am I supposed to act around a girl like that? How am I supposed to trust her?”

Dealing with conflict wasn’t a talent of yours. It was pretty obvious that you were avoidant when it came to any kind of confrontation- hence all your running- but it you were going to make any progress with Dean, you were going to have to face the music and speak.

“You could have tried,” you suggested. As soon as the words left your mouth, your eyes went wide. “I didn’t mean to sound so harsh.”

Watching you carefully, he took a moment before shaking his head. “Not like I don’t deserve it. Keep going.”

Hesitating a moment, you took a shaky breath and averted your gaze before trying again, “You judged me the instant you saw me, and it only got worse. None of this has been easy on me,” you noted, earning a scoff.

“I’ll bet my left nut that Dad’ll let Sammy work on your car for free. He won’t charge you a cent.”

Brows furrowing, you looked up to meet his gaze again. “And that’s my fault, how? I don’t control your father’s decisions. And if you, for one second, think I’ll let him do something as stupid as that, then you’re an idiot. Which I never pegged you as. A jerk? Yes. An idiot? No.”

“Dad isn’t gonna charge you when you’d got nothing to give.”

“That’s not my fault either!” you snapped, and just like that the floodgates opened. “I didn’t have any of this!” You gestured to the town outside. “The family? The friends? The job waiting for when you were old enough to work. I had nothing. I love my family before I started school. And then I was tossed into the system like trash. I had no one, so I moved from foster family to foster family. I was beaten, and forgotten, and abused! I was someone’s meal ticket. And whenever someone did get close to me, I lost them, too.”

Your throat began to tighten as the memories flooded your head and heart.

“I’m not talking about leaving them. Dean, every person I’ve gotten close to has died. Anyone who has shown a ounce of care towards me, has died. So when I got tired of hurting people, I ran. I worked a few small jobs, saved up money, and hit the road. Everything in that car is everything I owe. Everything I am.”

Sitting there, staring at you wide eyed, Dean was frozen. For the first time since you’d met him, Dean had nothing to say.

“Now you know.” Turning away from him, crossing your arms over your chest, you thought to control the tears threatening to fall from your eyes. “Go get the food, Dean. I don’t want to keep your dad and Sam waiting.”

“I… I’m sorry,” he mumbled before slipping out of the car.

Once he was finally gone, you let the first of many tears escape as you began to drown in years of pain and loss.

Bamby

#sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester fic #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x you #sam winchester x y/n #spanner in the works

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