#Congratulations for being the first ask!

[askdeerpaw]

How long were you an apprentice for?

[hellsitegenetics]

HELLO OH MY GOD THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE BLOG I LOVE THIS!!!!!!

IF ITS NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK COULD YOU DO THIS MESSAGE FOR MY BOYFRIEND FOR VALENTINE'S DAY???

HI HUN!!!! I LOVE YOUUU MWAHMWAHMWAHMWAHHHHH HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!! ITS ALMOST OUR ANNIVERSARY TOO!!!!!! THREE HUNDRED SIXTY FIVE DAYS OF MAGIC!!!!! I LOVEE YOUUU FOREVER AND ALWAYS

String identified:

G T AT G T!!!!!!

T T T C T A C T AG AT' A???

!!!! AAAA A AT' A!!!! T AT AA T!!!!!! T T A AGC!!!!! A AA

Closest match: Lymantria dispar genome assembly, chromosome: 27 Common name: Spongy moth

[ask-thearchivists]

So the only relationships allowed would be with other Collectors? Speaking of, what is the culture when it comes to relationships between Collectors? Any taboos, or "ideals," or whatnot? I know your ideas regarding gender are much more expansive than us mortals and am quite interested in how they interplay with relationships, especially considering the asexual nature of your reproduction. -Frog

The Charmer: I'm going to presume the others did not tell you that all Collectors are family, and I will easily let these...suggestions...slip from my mind. To expand upon the first person's questions: There is none, it's only "taboos" or flat-out bad if you want me to not dance around the issue, and there is no ideal.

The Charmer: Well, I need a palate cleanser. How about you all tell me how you're enjoying your stay here in the enclosure so far, and if there's any amenities I can attempt to acquire to make you all feel more comfortable.

[mooodyblue]

i'm all for free speech when it comes to writers. write whatever the hell you want but there are boundaries, because jesus fucking christ. elvis x austin???? trans!el???? give it a week and y'all be writing about el running around graceland in diapers. that shit's WEIRD. elvis was into baby talk but it was so not what you are making it out to be. stop putting labels on people that are very obviously straight. if you can't accept the fact elvis liked coochie, get a damn reality check and "fangirl" over someone else.

idk who the fuck you are and truthfully i don't care but if it really bothers you that much—you could easily block those of us who are writing these things in the first place.

it's called FICTION for a reason. you may not like it, others do. some people find comfort in it, some people may think it's weird or gross—but guess what!! it's fiction!!!! who the fuck cares!!!!!

the fact you wasted all that precious time of yours to go out of your way to send me something like this is actually insane. this is my page and i will write what i want to write. thanks!

[the-daily-male]

Today's daily male is Jade Harley from Homestuck! 🏳️‍⚧️

for anonymous!

[martinkate]

amelie hi new mutual amelie i’ve listened to next of kin approximately ten times in the past week. it’s a really really good song what can i say !!

HELLOOOOO I LEFT MY LOVE IN THE RIVER THE ONLY ONE I SEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YED!!!!!

[sundriedsanctum]

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out

THANK YOU I LOVE YOU <333333

[x-tracuddlycactus]

The idea that Bai Zhu can't hide his bulging belly when he's stuffed because of his crop top…

I actually have a funny lil' headcanon that he gets extremely sluggish and lethargic after he eats (cause he be a snake boi) so he always waits til after he's off work to indulge.

He also has a voiceline about walking to help aid with digestion, so it's pretty common to see him after hours taking a stroll through the streets, a hand ever-present on his distended tummy. 🥰🥰🥰

His brain is basically mush at that point, so I get the feeling that if anyone points it out, he'll just chuckle, pat his belly, and brush off the silly little comment. However, later on, once the food daze is gone, he'll look back and immediately feel the delayed embarrassment hit him like a truck.

[butchbush]

i just wanna sit on your lap and tease your cock :(

aww you would like that wouldnt you? just a pretty, needy thing grinding and making a mess on my lap.. is that really what you want? To be a desperate mess on my cock?

[mooonboy]

why is my ex celebrating her three year anniversary with her girlfriend in november when WE broke up in october

[saxandviolins88]

Bleep bloop blop

Yes, of course, "bleep, bloop, and blop", according to my academic textbooks the correct response would be something along the lines of...bloop beep bloop...

[foldingfittedsheets]

The mattress company I worked for the first time no longer exists. It was long ago eaten and assimilated by a bigger company. But when I started it was an incredibly intense five weeks of training. I was told I was extremely lucky to be selected, and I was. From a pool of a hundred applicants only fifteen of us made the cut to entering the training program.

The course covered how to talk to customers, how to ask open ended questions, how to close a sale, and product knowledge. I learned a lot, and truthfully my greatest takeaway was a lot of social scripts that I could use in other areas of my life.

We also had a midterm exam and a final. Both included a roleplay element with a trainer and a written portion. They told us when we started that the course was challenging but it was still a shock to come in after the midterm and realize half the class had failed.

I was named valedictorian of training- a dubious honor as it meant I’d done the best in the class, but popular lore had it that valedictorians struggled the most on the sales floor. Lo, I struggled.

Not because I wasn’t good. I was. But because my manager set out to systematically destroy my self esteem. Every sale, every interaction I had was scrutinized and criticized.

If I sold a bed with protectors, moveable base, and pillows he’d ask why I hadn’t managed to sell pillow protectors too. His first trainee had thrived on being challenged and he’d never bothered to learn a different way to coach.

It was wretched. My performance started strong but nosedived after a few weeks with him. My trainer, a man I loathed for stonewalling me in my interview, came in to inform me I was on new hire probation. If I couldn’t get my sales numbers up I’d be let go.

His actual phrasing was, “When you have a bandaid do you like to rip it off or pull it slowly?”

Since it was eminently obvious why he was visiting and because I thought it was condescending I sweetly informed him that I liked to soak my bandaids in hot water so they come off on their own.

He was briefly startled at this derailing but then got on with the bad news. I signed some forms stating that I understood my job was in peril.

I went home furious. I thought long and hard about why I wasn’t succeeding and how frustrated I was with my manager. I came in the next day and my anger had crystallized into a cold sharp edge.

My manager opened his mouth to address the probation and I snapped, “Just leave me alone. Go in the back if I have a sale. If you must address a serious issue then you will give me praise on two things I did right and present it as a compliment sandwich. Otherwise just say good job and shut up. Your constant nitpicking just makes me anxious and I do worse. Back off.” Belated and begrudging I added, “Please.”

He raised his eyebrows in dim surprise but I’d gauged him well. He backed off. Dutifully he’d meander into the back when I had a sale and praised me when I closed it. I resented knowing it was only because I’d demanded complimented but they still boosted me up. My numbers skyrocketed, I landed my first split king sale, and I exited probation with flying colors.

The trainer came back in to congratulate my manager for turning things around. To my gratification he gave me credit for setting him straight and said I’d taught him a different way to lead. My manager would often genuinely praise that moment when I’d stood up to him, impressed with my stubborn refusal to fail and my insight into what would help.

My biggest takeaway from the whole thing was just that people need positive reinforcement to succeed. Praise people for doing a good job. If you’re ever in a position where you need to criticize someone put it in a compliment sandwich instead of just saying the negative.

[mymelx]

being pregnant with Sukuna's child in the Heian era

True form Sukuna. Established relationship. They're married, actually. Sukuna is stern, cold, and cruel. Yet insanely in love with you.

No usage of y/n

Currently thinking about how Sukuna would act when you're pregnant with his child.

You're his little girl, always in his private chamber, mostly acting like a brat but always getting pampered by him. At first, you complained about always being held in his private chamber, but gradually, you started finding comfort on his bed, his scent.

You would lay on his bed when he's out of his chamber, taking his scent in. Walking between his clothes in his closet, looking at all the things he owns.

Now you're heavily pregnant with his child, looking absolutely adorable and gorgeous. You ask him for help more often, looking at his stern yet gentle eyes innocently with a cute pout, complaining about how heavy and tired you feel.

He would chuckle softly and gently put two of his four massive arms around your waist, bend down to reach your cute face and fill it with smooches. Your temples, your cheeks, your sensitiv jaw. He would whisper praises into your ear

"Is my little girl tired..? How cute. My little one is carrying my child. I am proud of you."

Then he would help you with whatever you want.

One time, he came back to his chamber, seeing one of the servants next to your bed.

His eye twitches since he doesn't remember allowing any of his servants to come to his private chamber to you, his precious woman.

He thinks maybe you have asked for the servant, so he doesn't say anything and silently towers over you and the servant, inspecting carefully.

You notice him and smile while tilting your head

"My lord, I asked her to come to help me with my hair."

He only replies with "I will do it for you."

Then he turns to the servant, his eyes speaking for him. The servant quickly bows and walks out.

The other time, you were walking with him in his mansion, an excited servant daring to congratulate you on your pregnancy. You giggle, and thank her. She excitingly extends one of her hands to touch your pregnant belly, only for it to be cut off by Sukuna before reaching your belly.

He hates how people look at your belly, obviously wanting to touch it. But to actually attempt to touch it was insane to him.

You were his pretty little pregnant wife. Only he had the right to touch and caress you.

He would cuddle with you every night, caressing your hair and belly, kissing your temples, praising you, and thanking you for carrying his child, for being his wife, and for being his first and last lover.

[the-largest-fool]

Torture and bound, for whomever you choose

ok I was not expecting anyone to do this but since you did here goes, doing this for the main trio

TORTURE: Has your OC ever been tortured? Would your OC ever torture someone else? Aaron: one time his evil uncle decided to psychologically torture him for reasons Aaron does not care to try and understand. it mostly just annoyed him. as for whether or not he'd be willing to torture anyone else, I would say probably not. he wouldn't try and prolong anything, even if he really hated whoever it was he hypothetically had at his mercy Cassie: in the aforementioned evil-uncle-psychological-torture incident, she was used as a living torture device. legally, this does not count as Cassie herself being tortured, but she would say it does because of the scars it left on her. she also made a custom-built psychological torment dimension for herself one time because of her guilt over her involvement in everything else the Idiots have gone through. as for her willingness to torture anyone, yes, definitely, absolutely. if she really hated someone she would make them suffer the best she possibly could Nellie: much like Cassie, she was used as a living torture device in the Snowblood Incident. aside from that, she hasn't really been tortured herself. in regards to her willingness to torture others, she did try to artificially prolong the painful death of the demon that killed her parents, so I would say yes, she is willing to do so in certain circumstances

BOUND: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars? Aaron: unless temporary death counts, no, he has not been imprisoned at all. small compensation for everything else he and Cassie have been through, though Cassie: being brainwashed and turned into a personal puppet for a sadistic psychopath counts as imprisonment I think. her brother managed to rescue her from that but it still did some serious damage to her. didn't leave any physical scars, but it did leave plenty of mental ones. mental ones that are the direct cause of the entire rest of The Plot Nellie: same situation as Cassie (same incident actually,) just better at processing it. she's still got some mental scars from it, they just didn't cause her to almost end the world twice

this is probably incomprehensible but still fun to do, thanks for asking!

[blondwhxrewrites]

ꨄ Mattheo with a shy girlfriend is literally the best thing to ever exist AND I WILL DIE UPON THAT FUCKING HILL 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

ꨄ He's walking to his class one day when you accidentally stumble into him. Of course, you're just so embarrassed. I mean, this was THE Mattheo Riddle, son of the dark lord and one of the most attractive boys in the school. While you're busy apologizing and scrambling to get your things, he's just staring at you absolutely stricken by your beauty and presence. He almost wants to cry when you run away from him because—HOLY SHIT HOW DID HE NOT KNOW YOU EXISTED UP UNTIL THAT MOMENT?!

ꨄ He is instantly going to Pansy and asking about you after that incident. Literally is so pressed when she doesn't know anything about you. Now he has to do all the work and by that, he means stalking you and learning everything about you 🙄

ꨄ Congratulations you now have a stalker 🎉

ꨄ But seriously he has a few uhh... interesting ways of getting to know you 😃 It's a bit creepy and obsessive but he means well.

ꨄ The more he learns about you, the more he falls for you. He notes all your little, mindless habits. He makes a list of things he knows you like to spoil you in the future. He threatens anyone who treats you badly. He also makes sure no boys try to steal you away from him because there's no way he's gonna lose to some pathetic Ravenclaw. (Caw caw motherfuckers)

ꨄ He knows you're shy, so he takes his time when it comes to actually interacting with you. At first, it's just little interactions, like smiling and waving at you or holding the door for you. Then he's starting conversations with you, and interacting with the very few friends you have. He wiggles his way into your life like a little worm. HE'S IN IT FOR THE LONG GAME GIRLS

ꨄ He would literally condition you into being comfortable with his touch, like touching your shoulder and hands a little when he's talking to you, or subtly wrapping his arm around you when you two are walking. This motherfucker is so subtle—it's not even funny

ꨄ Praises you whenever he can, and he loves the way you get so shy and giddy whenever he does. He knows you are giggling and kicking your feet 🤭

ꨄ He tells Theo and Draco about you, and it gets to the point where the two boys know more about you than your friends. They just want you to get with him already because they are so sick of Mattheo gushing about you whenever he can. They both secretly are happy that Mattheo trusts them enough to be so open to them about his feelings for you

ꨄ When you do get together, Mattheo feels like he is on top of the world. All that hard work paid off, and now he has you in his arms—AND HE AIN'T EVER GONNA LET YOU GO 😤

ꨄ Well, congratulations on becoming Mrs. Riddle!!!

[verstarppen]

now riddle me this .

since all the drivers talk about how hard the singapore gp is because its so hot and humid HOW ABOUT

singaporean fem driver reader whos used to the climate and her shenanigans with the f1 grid

idk i thought this would be a good idea 😢😢

summary; the singapore heat can't kill you, but the sight of him sweaty and disheveled just might

pairing; oscar piastri x fem! ferrari driver! reader [ no faceclaim ]

a/n; this is my thank you letter to @localwhoore for helping me with the oscar series, i owe you big time; also if anyone has any idea what to do when i hit 3k send me an ask

liked by scuderiayn, charles_leclerc, f1 and 3,204,985 others

scuderiaferrari The heat never bothered her anyway

view all 982,547 comments

36rg P1 BABY IT'S OUR YEAR

gonestappen not for longggggg

gothfrogasly oh they're so hot for that (get it?)

buttonette_20 It's Oscar and Lando congratulating her mid interview for me

meepshoemaker WHERE buttonette_20 Post quali interviews!! They were walking by, Lando stopped to congratulate her and Oscar had the audacity to wink but it looked so awkward 😭 meepshoemaker bless his soul that boy has 0 rizz

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiayn, landonorris and 2,111,901 others

mclaren We, at McLaren, do not take a side in the conflict, and if we had to, it would be Oscar's. That said, here are some of the ways he looks at Y/N. Happy Race Day! 🧡

view all 877,301 comments

sebwebb admin you're so brave for this

maxielhearter take a shot if mclaren admin knowing about oscassgate was on your bingo card

g3org3zilla NAHHHHHH THEY DIDN'T

mclaren Oh, yes, we did 😊 oscarpiastri 🤨

scuderiayn girl

mclaren Just doing my job 😊 scuderiayn how much did mick and max f. pay you to post this mclaren I plead the 5th maxfewtrell DUDE

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, landonorris and 7,800,552 others

scuderiayn i won or whatever LANDO P2 BABYYYY

view all 920,012 comments

forzapluto FERARRI WIN??? WHAT YEAR IS IT????

bottaswiththefur breaking the verstappen domination and being more excited about your buddy getting a podium is insane but not as insane as oscassgate

scuderiayn I JUST GOT A WIN AND WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT OSCAR'S ASS?? oscarpiastri You're no longer interested, then? scuderiayn oh charles_leclerc At last mickschumacher I teared up, they grow up so fast landonorris and if i said i caught him looking at your ass too what then scuderiayn you didn't landonorris no i didn't but like imagine if i did what then

liked by maxfewtrell, scuderiayn, fernandoalo_oficial and 3,121,347 others

oscarpiastri Thank you @ charles_leclerc for revealing your DMs. Without you, it would have taken longer for this to happen.

view all 920,012 comments

scuderiayn *being dumb enough to reveal his DMs

charles_leclerc First of all I just scored you a date. scuderiaferrari You should be scoring points instead scuderiayn ha scuderiaferrari You included scuderiayn oh im sorry, you're talking to THE max destroyer charles_leclerc Bow to her highness landonorris someone's about to be known as THE y/n destroyer scuderiayn ok mr nowins scuderiayn wait scuderiayn LANDO

pic credits: instagram and pinterest

fic-specific taglist; @onecojg @spilled-coffee-cup @cixrosie @sheridamn @namgification @thehufflepuffavenger1 @sxrcxsm26

blog taglist; @wtfisakilometer2 @aexitizen-ln4 @localwhoore @onecojg @sheridamn @cixrosie @gulabjamooon @melozyxo @spilled-coffee-cup @biitch-with-wifi @coffeehurricanes @iifloweringnightsii @jsjcue @lanando4 @fastcarsandshit @christianpulisic10 @allygatcr @marshmummy @lavenderhazeeworld @ravisinghs-wife @namgification @sheridamn @whatislifebutlemons @demvnsriot @stinkyjax @sxrcxsm26 @beskardroids @tbsloneely

(it's my birthday on sunday im about to get the best dutch anthem of the year)