#Cuban Coffee Recipe

[pardonmydelays]

"i don't think i'll ever understand musicals the way you do" is something i've heard from one of my friends a couple of days ago when i told him i'm about to cross the whole country just to see one of those (my favourite one!) live in theatre. and i can't blame him. if you'd have told me a year ago that i would do something like that, i'd probably have laughed in your face. life is so unpredictable. i guess i have changed a lot. and i could write thousands of essays about how musicals helped me get through the shittiest period of my life, but we are not going to talk about this today. today we are talking about in the heights, the first musical i got a chance to experience live in theatre, hopefully not last. so grab a cup of coffee and make yourself comfortable, this is going to be the longest essay you've ever seen, friends.

a little warning: spoilers. a lot of them actually. so if, by any chance, you haven't seen/heard it yet and you are going to, don't read it.

first thing i feel like i need to mention is that they had this mini bar inside the theatre and you could order a lot of different drinks there and one of them was called abuela's coffee. i heard one lady explaining to someone that it's actually coffee with condensed milk. my jaw dropped and i was like CAN I STAY HERE FOREVER, PLEASE? for those who don't understand why, here's a quote from the first song:

USNAVI: abuela, my fridge broke, i got café but no con leche ABUELA CLAUDIA: try my mother's old recipe: one can of condensed milk

so this was my first "OH! THEY GET IT!" moment (a little note here: i had a lot of oh, they get it moments, mostly because i don't have any people around me who understand musicals the way i do... honestly, you'd have to live inside my brain). that was the first time ever when i could actually be in the room where it happens with all those people who get it and care about it as much as i do (mostly actors and people responsible for the whole show tho, but we will get to this later).

let's get to the show. so when i finally went inside and i saw the stage, i already had tears in my eyes (don't judge me please). usnavi's store, abuela's door, daniela and carla's salon, all those puerto rican, cuban and dominican flags (one couple behind me was trying to figure out which one is which and it was funny because i knew and i wanted to scream)... listening and memorizing the whole soundtrack is one thing. being able to experience it all live is something else. all those things around me were so familiar and this was the first time in months (MONTHS! OR EVEN YEARS!) i felt really understood. after all, it was all like a little celebration of lin's story (the one i love with all my heart) and i truly felt like home. so that was another OH! THEY GET IT! moment.

i don't think i'm going to talk about every single song here, that's not the point. i will talk about my favourite moments, but also about things that didn't work very well in my opinion (again: this was a polish version so all the songs were translated into polish. and they did a really great job here, surprisingly. but it wasn't perfect, more about that later).

one thing you need to understand is that i will never be normal about musicals so of course i had to burst into tears at the very first song (i don't even know why, i think i was a little bit too excited). i was actually crying in the most random moments like when i first saw nina or at the end of carnaval del barrio because I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT (who the hell cries at carnaval del barrio when everyone is having the time of their lives lol, me apparently).

ok, so the first song. the choreography, oh my god. it was everything. the translation was also pretty good here, i need to say this was probably one of my favourite moments. imagine me leaving today giggling like a child when usnavi came on that stage and started rapping, i was in heaven. also, i have to admit, the cast was amazing. i could never imagine anyone better for this role (and again, i am talking about polish actors because everyone knows who's the best usnavi of them all). he was cute and charming and awkward and so adorkable and also really handsome. he was actually perfect in my opinion.

i kinda lost my mind when i saw nina for the first time. first of all: i already knew who was going to play her and let's just say i fell in love with this actress before i even saw her live on that stage. this was important to me, because (as some of you know) nina rosario is my favourite character. and oh my god, she was an absolute perfection. what a voice, sweet jesus. i'm being serious, this girl is so talented, give her every award (i honestly hope i will have a chance to see her again one day, i'm just crazy about her). and breathe was so good! polish version was amazing, i was so scared they would screw it up, but they didn't, so all's good (this song is very important to me, ok?). also, she's a phenomenal actress, i could feel all her emotions for real. and of course i cried, what did you expect?

i don't have that much to say about benny, except that he was really cute and he had amazing chemistry with nina, so once again, the casting was really good. i mean, he is not chris jackson of course, but i have decided i'm not going to compare all those actors because everyone knows at this point how much i love OBC, i was trying to have an open mind. vanessa was also pretty great, amazing voice and her dancing skills, wow, just wow. i could talk about all those actors for days actually, but i'm not going to do that, so i will just quickly mention that i absolutely loved daniela and carla, abuela claudia made me cry, sonny was the funniest character in the whole play and i don't think i will ever recover after piragua guy's performance (i was the only person in the audience who was laughing when he came on that stage, they don't get it, ok? polish people have no sense of humour and that's a fact). actually, there were a lot of funny moments (obviously) and i was the only person who was laughing, god help me.

so let's get to the first thing that was a little disappointing for me. you will not believe it, but it was actually... 96,000 (this is one of my favourite songs and i seriously can't live like this). it's not the translation tho (it was honestly fine), it's the voice overlapping part at the end (again, the best thing ever, just listen to we don't talk about bruno from encanto and non-stop from hamilton and you will understand why it works so well in every lmm's song). the thing is, you could actually only hear vanessa's part and i wanted to die, because EXCUSE ME. i always sing usnavi's part and you could barely hear a word from it. but apart from that, the rest was fine, the choreography was amazing and it's just something i needed to mention because i had thoughts about it.

paciencia y fe! ok besties, i have thoughts, again. abuela claudia was absolutely incredible, also, her relationship with usnavi is something that you can't see in the movie version (they were so sweet i wanted to curl up and die. i knew about it before, i saw slime tutorial with obc on yt, ok? i'm pretty sure lin would be mad at me for watching bootlegs lol. i just wanted to say this). the translation didn't work out at the very end of the song tho, because when in the og version abuela sings about the "winning ticket", everyone knows already she won the lottery. i don't remember polish translation exactly, but it was something with double meaning, depends on how you interpret it, and i'm 100% sure people who didn't know the plot just didn't catch it. the rest of the song was absolutely beautiful tho.

when you're home. i was so afraid of this one, because i am totally crazy about this song (did i ever mention lin wrote this one after one of his first dates with vanessa? no? yes? ok i'll shut up about this now). oh, they did a really great job with it and it's a relief. i have nothing else to say, except that i was crying like a baby, but this song always makes me cry so what did you expect exactly? one of the best moments for sure. again, nina and benny's chemistry was absolutely incredible.

as much as i loved the club, i was actually really disappointed with one part, which is usnavi's famous "jealous i ain't jealous, i can take all these fellas, wHaTeVaaaaa". i've been waiting so long for this! and they messed it up with their stupid cringy translation which i don't even remember at the moment but usnavi was actually mad at benny and he cursed? ANYWAY. the rest of the song was great and the choreography was absolutely phenomenal, oh vanessa! let me get the next one! (i love her so much, she was amazing here). a little note from me: no one was laughing at the "no hablo ingles" part, NO ONE BUT ME!!! THEY DON'T GET IT! WTF! i was so mad (i am aware of the fact that most people probably didn't even know this story before and they just wanted to see a musical, not THE MUSICAL, which is totally fine. but sweet jesus, where is their sense of humour? they left it at home or what?).

and blackout was that part where the voice overlapping effect worked very well, so all's good. actually, one of the best moments for me as well. people were actually so confused when all the lights went down, but that was just so amazing. all the panic! everybody was screaming, crying! WE ARE POWERLESS! THE END OF ACT I!!! oh, i had the time of my life.

i had this weird feeling that they didn't exactly know how to translate most of hundreds of stories so they just made this song shorter than it actually is. which is fine i guess. honestly, it's better than bad translation, so i can forgive them. what i absolutely can't forgive tho is that the audience wasn't laughing at US NAVY. polish people, you have no fucking taste. i said what i said. and then again, usnavi and abuela's relationship was so sweet this song actually made me cry (mostly because i knew what was coming but also, i was just this weird girl who was sitting there in the second row and was crying at the most random moments).

ok, guys, honestly. carnaval del barrio was the best moment from the entire musical. oh, how much i want to experience it again! daniela was absolutely incredible, carla was so sweet, piragua guy stole the whole fucking show for me (seriously guys! he was just so amazing!). also, those little details i have never noticed before? i can't even tell if the same thing happened in the original version (the quality of that bootleg is actually terrible), but benny dancing with american flag somewhere in the background was so fucking funny and i don't think i will ever get over that part where at the end they were all still dancing and celebrating and nina and usnavi just ran away as fast as they could because... because you guys know what just happened. also, this is the moment i started crying.

i was so scared of it. let me tell you one thing, i experienced abuela's death at least fifty times and i still cry every single time. so atención is something i have to mention, because all the emotions and kevin's shaky voice made me burst into tears right away, and this time i wasn't the only one because i saw a lot of people crying when they realized what happened (i also heard a lot of OHs when he said abuela passed away, so yes, most of them didn't know this story and they were surprised). and alabanza was something else. believe me when i tell you i am writing this with tears in my eyes, i have never cried so much in public. this was the moment i was the most scared of and i was absolutely right because holy fuck. i was a mess. all the actors with those candles singing alabanza a doña claudia! (yes, they didn't translate it, all the spanish parts were left like in the original version and i am so grateful for that), it was just so sad and so beautiful. and this time i was actually like oh, they get it now (everyone was speechless and people were crying).

everyone must know at this point how much i adore champagne and i wasn't disappointed (thank god!). once again, usnavi was absolutely adorable here and people were actually laughing this time (also thank god!). how do you get this gold shit off? (my favourite line from the whole musical) was translated really well and the moment when usnavi and vanessa kissed! with all lights on them! this was so emotional and the audience reacted so well! we were all clapping (it was so funny to pretend like i didn't know it was gonna happen haha i was just as excited as all of them and once again i was like OH! THEY GET IT!). 10/10, would recommend.

if you think i wasn't crying during the last song, think again. one thing i absolutely hate about the movie version is that they actually changed the graffiti that made usnavi stay in washington heights, but i'm not gonna talk about that and i'm not gonna talk about vanessa also being there in the movie. in the original version it was a portrait of abuela claudia made by graffiti pete and oh boy, i lost my mind (i knew about it but i still lost my mind because it was absolutely beautiful). i got the feeling it was a little rushed in our polish version, but i can forgive them because it still made me cry. also, at the very end, usnavi did not only finally acknowledge he's home, when the song was over he pretty much told the audience that we are all home right now and may i just say... i felt that. i was home. they made me believe for the first time in my life i was where i belong, and somehow that was everything.

one thing about me is that this is actually all new to me. this was my first musical i saw live in theatre (and also lin's first child, which is exactly how it was supposed to be i think), and believe me when i tell you i've never had this much fun in my entire life, not even at all the concerts of my favourite artists. it was worth every money. it was worth spending 11 hours on the train and 11 more on my way back home, which by the way we should normalize (people are doing crazy things just to see their favourite artists on the stage and it's considered normal, so why can't we consider THIS normal?). anyway, i don't expect anyone around me to understand it the way i do, but i feel like i really found my thing, and it's all because of lin-manuel miranda, our beautiful puerto rican genius. he made me believe musicals can be cool and i truly wish i could thank him for that one day.

and like i said, in the heights is my favourite story with my favourite characters and i listened to it so many times i have memorized all the little details. experiencing it live is something completely different tho and i think it's safe to say this was the best night of my entire life. even tho most of the people in the audience didn't really get it, i finally felt like i was a part of this world created by my favourite genius and for the first time ever i felt understood. so i think i can say that now: i found my island, guys, i'm there, i'm home!

[cocosnocalcocoa]

low cal meal tips

here’s a few meal alterations and recipes i have that make eating low cal easier, and healthier!

black coffee/espresso- cafe a la llave espresso

cuban coffee bean is very sweet and rich in flavor so drinking it without adding anything isn’t as unpleasant as drinking a plain american.

if you have a sweet tooth or just cant stand bitter coffee, this is a perfect alternative.

2 cals per 8 oz

healthy sandwich/toast alternatives

this is my go to lunch meal: two slices of toasted challah or whole grain bread, 2 turkey ham slices, equal lettuce slices for each bread, and two slices of tomato.

challah bread is made without butter, and is sweeter, so when i cant come across whole grain bread, i use challah. both are about 80 cals per slice.

this recipe can be really diverse; you can also replace the bread with low carb tortillas if you would like it to be lower in calories + add or replace it with cucumber and tuna or eggs and avocado. its up to your preference!

i like this because it provides a healthy balance of carbs, protein, and greens, and overall its refreshing and filling.

about 200 cals per sandwich- but it varies depends on what you make it with. you can slice it in half and save the rest for later to have 100 cals per meal if you’re looking to eat lower cals

oatmeal

plain cooked oats with a pinch of salt for flavor cooked with water, not milk

you can add almonds, some fruit, or cinnamon if you want extra protein or flavor!

this is my go to if i need fiber and want to stay full for a long period of time

140 cals for 1/2 cup of dry oats, but i usually do 1/4 cup of dry oats for 70 cals

quest protein bars

after trying a lot of different protein bars, this is now my go to

they’re the lowest in cals per serving in comparison with other brands, and provide the most protein per serving as well

at first the flavor and texture is a little gross, but after a while and once you get used to it, its a great alternative if you’re craving dessert or something sweet

170-200 cals per bar, depending on the flavor. (theres a wide variety of favors to choose from!)

those are all the meal tips for now, theyre not very original, but i’ll make an updated list as i come up with more recipes!

lmk if you have any questions or concerns <3

i wish y’all safe eating

[imanes]

To the coffee anon - u can also just use a stovetop espresso maker. I had a cheap espresso machine and lemme tell u the stovetop coffee was way better and the cafetieras arent expensive. If u want ur espresso with a little crema on top look up cuban coffee recipes

Thanks!

[knifesforks]

Coffee Shop: Cuban Coffee Recipe (Cafecito)

[magimark1]

Exploring the Exotic Flavors of Colada Coffee: A Bold Brew with a Tropical Twist

Colada coffee is a unique, bold, and rich brew that has become a staple of Cuban culture and is making its way into cafes worldwide. This strong, sweet coffee is known for its intense flavor, social significance, and the sense of community it fosters. But what exactly is Colada coffee, and why is it gaining popularity among coffee lovers? Let’s dive into the world of this powerful brew, its origins, and how you can enjoy it.

What is Colada Coffee?

Colada coffee is a traditional Cuban espresso-style coffee that is typically brewed using dark roasted coffee beans and served with sugar. The brew is known for its bold flavor, strong caffeine kick, and a thick, frothy top called "espumita," made from whipping sugar with the first few drops of the espresso. The result is a smooth, sweet, and highly concentrated shot of coffee that is often shared among friends or family.

In Cuban culture, coffee is more than just a morning pick-me-up—it’s a social experience. Colada coffee is typically served in a large cup with several smaller cups or "demitasse" to share among a group, symbolizing friendship and togetherness.

The Origins of Colada Coffee

Colada coffee traces its roots to Cuba, where it is deeply ingrained in the island’s daily routine. Cuban coffee culture dates back to the early 18th century when coffee plantations began to flourish in the tropical climate. Over time, Cuban coffee evolved into different styles, with Colada becoming one of the most popular due to its strong, sweet flavor and the sense of community it promotes.

While traditional Cuban espresso was already known for its strength, adding sugar during the brewing process became a way to create a smoother, more balanced flavor. The Colada style emerged as a way for friends and families to enjoy this rich coffee together, turning the simple act of drinking coffee into a shared experience.

How to Make Colada Coffee

Making Colada coffee at home is easier than you might think, and with just a few ingredients, you can recreate this classic Cuban brew in your kitchen. Here’s a simple recipe to get started:

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons of finely ground dark roast coffee (Cuban-style coffee is preferred, but any espresso will do)

2 teaspoons of sugar (or more to taste)

1 cup of water

Moka pot or espresso machine

Instructions:

Brew the Coffee: Use a Moka pot or an espresso machine to brew a strong shot of espresso. The key is to use finely ground, dark roast coffee for an authentic flavor.

Prepare the Espumita (Foam): While the coffee is brewing, place the sugar into a small cup. Once the first few drops of the espresso are brewed, collect them and pour them over the sugar. Quickly whisk the sugar and coffee together until it forms a thick, frothy foam.

Mix the Coffee: Once the full shot of espresso is brewed, gently pour it over the espumita, stirring gently to combine the foam with the coffee.

Serve and Share: Pour the Colada into a large cup with smaller demitasse cups on the side for sharing. Enjoy the bold, sweet flavor with friends or family.

Why Colada Coffee is Gaining Popularity

As coffee culture continues to evolve globally, Colada coffee has gained attention for its unique combination of strong espresso and sweet, smooth flavor. Coffee aficionados are drawn to its powerful taste, while others enjoy the communal aspect of sharing a Colada with friends.

In an age where coffee is often consumed quickly and on the go, Colada coffee invites people to slow down and savor the experience. The ritual of brewing and sharing this drink adds a social element that many modern coffee experiences lack. This has made Colada coffee a popular choice in cafes, especially for those seeking a more intimate and engaging coffee experience.

Colada Coffee Variations

While the traditional Cuban Colada is known for its simplicity, there are several variations you can explore to suit your taste:

Café con Leche: If you prefer a creamier brew, try adding steamed milk to your Colada. This smooth, rich variation is a perfect balance of bold coffee and creamy milk.

Iced Colada: For a refreshing twist, try making an iced version of Colada coffee. Simply brew the coffee as usual, let it cool, and pour it over ice for a cold, sweet treat.

Colada with Spices: Add a dash of cinnamon, nutmeg, or cardamom to your coffee grounds before brewing for a flavorful, aromatic twist on the classic recipe.

Conclusion

Colada coffee is more than just a cup of coffee—it’s a cultural experience that brings people together. With its bold, sweet flavor and the ritual of sharing, it’s no wonder that this traditional Cuban brew is becoming a favorite among coffee lovers around the world. Whether you’re looking for a strong caffeine kick or a moment to share with friends, Colada coffee is sure to satisfy your taste buds and warm your spirit.

[miramarbakery]

A Taste of Cuba: Exploring the Delights of Miramar Cuban Bakery

Nestled in the heart of Little Havana, Miami, lies a culinary gem that transports visitors straight to the vibrant streets of Havana: Miramar Cuban Bakery. Stepping into Miramar is like entering a portal to Cuba itself, where the aroma of freshly baked pastries and the lively chatter of patrons create an atmosphere brimming with warmth and authenticity.

A Culinary Journey

Miramar Cuban Bakery is not just a place to eat; it's an experience that immerses you in Cuban culture through its food. The bakery offers a tantalizing array of traditional Cuban pastries, each one a testament to the rich culinary heritage of the island.

From flaky pastelitos filled with guava and cream cheese to savory empanadas bursting with seasoned meats and spices, every bite tells a story of tradition and craftsmanship.

The Sights and Sounds

Upon entering Miramar, your senses are immediately awakened by the sight of colorful displays showcasing an array of pastries and desserts. The rhythmic sounds of Latin music in the background add to the ambiance, creating a lively and welcoming atmosphere that invites you to linger and savor the moment.

A Hub of Community

Miramar isn't just a bakery; it's a gathering place for locals and visitors alike. Here, you'll find people from all walks of life coming together over a cup of strong Cuban coffee and a plate of freshly baked treats.

Whether you're grabbing a quick and healthy breakfast on the go or enjoying a leisurely afternoon with friends, Miramar offers a sense of community that is as comforting as its food.

The Art of Coffee

No visit to Miramar is complete without sampling their renowned Cuban coffee. Served in small, potent shots known as cafecitos or cortaditos, this bold brew is the perfect complement to the sweetness of the pastries.

The coffee culture at Miramar is a ritual in itself, where each cup is crafted with care and served with a side of warm hospitality.

Preserving Tradition

Miramar Cuban Bakery takes pride in preserving and sharing authentic Cuban recipes passed down through generations. The bakers here pay homage to their roots by using traditional techniques and quality ingredients, ensuring that every pastry is a true reflection of Cuban culinary tradition.

Conclusion

In a city known for its diverse culinary scene, Miramar Cuban Bakery stands out as a cultural beacon, offering not just food but a glimpse into the heart and soul of Cuba.

Whether you're a seasoned aficionado of Cuban cuisine or a curious newcomer, a visit to Miramar promises a taste of Cuba that will linger in your memory long after the last crumb has been savored.

[hangseneliquids468]

The Global Flavor Quest: Exploring E-Liquid Varieties from Around the World

In the world of vaping, the quest for unique and exciting flavors knows no bounds. As the popularity of e-liquids continues to soar, vapers are on a global flavor expedition, seeking new taste experiences from different corners of the world. In this article, we embark on a journey to explore e-liquid varieties inspired by cultures worldwide, celebrating the rich diversity of flavors that add a global twist to the vaping experience.

Exotic Asian Delights: A Panorama of Oriental Flavors

Asian-inspired e-liquid flavors offer a captivating range of tastes that reflect the diverse culinary traditions of the continent. From the delicate floral notes of jasmine and green tea to the sweet and tangy profiles of lychee and dragon fruit, Asian e-liquids provide a unique vaping experience. Discover the richness of flavors inspired by Japanese sakura, Thai mango sticky rice, or Indian masala chai, transporting your taste buds to the vibrant streets of Asia.

Mediterranean Refreshments: An Odyssey of Mediterranean Flavors

The Mediterranean, renowned for its wholesome and flavorful cuisine, has inspired a variety of e-liquid flavors. Taste the sun-kissed harmony of citrus fruits from Sicily or the aromatic blend of Mediterranean herbs like thyme, rosemary, and basil. Indulge in the creamy sweetness of Greek yogurt or savor the essence of Turkish coffee. Mediterranean-inspired e-liquids offer a delightful fusion of fresh and complex flavors that capture the essence of the Mediterranean region.

Latin American Fiesta: A Symphony of Latin Flavors

Latin American e-liquid flavors samba their way into the vaping world, offering a fiesta of tastes that reflect the vibrant and diverse culture of the region. Experience the tropical bliss of Brazilian açaí berries or the alluring spiciness of Mexican chili chocolate. Delight in the refreshing tang of Argentinean mate tea or the luscious sweetness of Cuban guava pastries. Latin American-inspired e-liquids evoke the passion and excitement of this palpable and dynamic region.

European Elegance: Captivating E-liquid Traditions

Europe, steeped in rich culinary traditions, has inspired e-liquid flavors that exemplify elegance and sophistication. Transport yourself to the fragrant lavender fields of Provence with a floral-infused e-liquid or evoke the cozy ambiance of an Italian café with an authentic espresso flavor. Delve into the delectable allure of English custards and French pastries, or relish the refreshing zest of Mediterranean citrus groves. European e-liquids offer a taste of family recipes and time-honored flavors that embody the continent's culinary legacy.

Middle Eastern Treasures: Supremely Satisfying E-liquids

The Middle East presents a treasure trove of flavors that add depth and richness to the world of e-liquids. Explore the sweet indulgence of Arabic desserts like baklava or delight in the floral notes of rosewater-infused e-liquids. Savor the smooth undertones of Middle Eastern spices like cardamom and saffron or immerse yourself in the energizing warmth of Turkish black tea. Middle Eastern-inspired e-liquids bring a touch of exotic elegance to the vaping experience.

From Asia to Europe and Latin America to the Middle East, the global flavor quest in the world of e-liquids offers vapers an opportunity to experience diverse cultures and cuisines. These flavors capture the essence of different regions, transporting vapers on a gustatory journey around the world. So, embark on your own flavor adventure at hangseneliquids.co.uk, exploring e-liquids inspired by global traditions and satisfying your taste buds with the exciting tastes that know no boundaries.

[pinochobakery]

Debating the Best Cuban Dessert: Miami's Sweet Contenders

Regarding sweetness and flavor, Cuban Desserts Miami offers a variety that is hard to beat. Miami, a melting pot of cultures, is particularly known for its Cuban influences, especially in the culinary realm. Whether you're a local or just visiting, the Cuban dessert scene in Miami is one you cannot ignore. From flaky pastries to rich, creamy custards, the city's bakeries and restaurants serve some of the most delectable treats. But with so many options, the debate over the best Cuban dessert is a hot topic among sweet-toothed aficionados. Let's dive into the world of Miami's Cuban desserts and discuss the top contenders.

Classic Cuban Desserts

Tres Leches Cake

Rich and Creamy: Tres Leches is a sponge cake soaked in three kinds of milk: evaporated milk, condensed milk, and heavy cream. This dessert is beloved for its moist, rich texture and sweet, creamy flavor.

A Party Favorite: Often found at celebrations, Tres Leches Cake is a go-to dessert for birthdays, weddings, and other events. Its popularity lies in its decadent, comforting taste that appeals to all ages.

Variations: While the traditional recipe is a staple, many Miami bakeries add their twist with chocolate, fruit, or rum flavors, making each slice a new experience.

Flan

Smooth and Silky: Flan is a caramel-topped custard that's smooth, silky, and utterly delightful. Its simplicity is its strength, focusing on the pure flavors of caramelized sugar and creamy custard.

Versatility: Though the classic vanilla flavor is timeless, Miami's chefs have experimented with coconut, coffee, and even cheese flans, offering a range of tastes to satisfy different preferences.

Cultural Significance: Flan is not just a dessert; it's a part of Cuban heritage, a sweet link to history and tradition that resonates with many in Miami's Cuban community.

Guava Pastelitos

Sweet and Tart: These flaky pastries filled with guava paste offer a perfect balance of sweetness and tartness. The combination of buttery pastry and fruity filling is irresistible.

Everyday Snack: Unlike Tres Leches and Flan, which might be reserved for special occasions, Guava Pastelitos are an everyday treat. You can find them in nearly every Cuban bakery in Miami, often enjoyed with a morning or afternoon coffee.

Cultural Icon: Representing the tropical flavors of Cuba, Guava Pastelitos have become a symbol of Cuban cuisine in Miami, embodying the city's love for Cuban flavors.

Emerging Favorites

Coconut Questions

Light and Fluffy: Quesitos are cream cheese-filled pastries, and the coconut version adds a tropical twist. The light pastry and sweet, creamy center make them a delightful snack.

Growing Popularity: While not as traditional as some other desserts, Coconut Quesitos quickly become a favorite among Miami's Cuban dessert lovers for their unique flavor and airy texture.

Perfect Pairing: These pastries pair excellently with Cuban coffee, making them a popular choice for a midday treat that's not too heavy but still satisfying.

Arroz con Leche

Comfort in a Bowl: Arroz con Leche is Cuban rice pudding. Made with rice, milk, sugar, and cinnamon, it is comforting and familiar, with a warmth that evokes home cooking.

Versatile Treat: Arroz con leche is a versatile dessert that can be served warm or cold. It fits every season, whether cooling down in the summer heat or warming up on a chilly evening.

Nostalgic Flavor: For many, Arroz con Leche is a taste of childhood and nostalgia, making it a cherished dessert beyond its flavor profile.

The Sweet Debate

Personal Preferences

Subjective Tastes: Debating the best Cuban dessert in Miami often depends on personal preference. Some may prefer the creamy richness of Tres Leches, while others lean towards the fruity tang of Guava Pastelitos.

Occasions and Moods: The "best" dessert can also depend on the occasion, time of day, or mood. What's perfect for a party might not be the ideal comfort food for a quiet night.

Cultural Connections

Cultural Resonance: For many, the best dessert is the one that connects them to their heritage and memories. This emotional tie can make certain desserts stand out more than others.

Sharing Traditions: Debates over desserts are also a way to share and celebrate Cuban culture, bringing people together over shared tastes and stories.

The Miami Influence

Local Innovations: Miami's culinary scene is innovative, and local twists on traditional Cuban desserts can influence opinions on what's best.

Seasonal Ingredients: The availability of fresh, local ingredients can also shape the dessert scene, making certain treats more popular at different times of the year.

Conclusion: The Joy of Choice

Ultimately, the debate over the best Cuban dessert in Miami is a testament to the city's rich culinary landscape and the diversity of its cuisine. Whether you're a fan of the classic Tres Leches Cake, the comforting Flan, the iconic Guava Pastelito, or any other sweet treat, Miami offers a world of flavors to explore. Each dessert has its story, place in Cuban culture, its own story, its place in Cuban culture, and its loyal following. The true joy lies in the variety and the freedom to choose your favorite—or better yet, to keep discovering new favorites. So dive into Miami's Cuban dessert scene and join the sweet debate. No matter where your preferences lie, you're in for a delicious adventure.

[subikshafoods]

Global Flavors with Curd: Take Your Dishes on a Tasty Adventure

Embark on a culinary journey worldwide by incorporating the versatile and creamy goodness of curd into your dishes. From savoury to sweet, explore global flavours of the best quality curd that will elevate your meals and transport your taste buds to new and exciting destinations. Hello foodies, welcome to this blog that gonna be very useful for all of you.

Greek Tzatziki Sauce: Transport your palate to the Mediterranean with a classic Greek tzatziki sauce. Blend curd with cucumber, garlic, and dill to create a refreshing condiment that pairs perfectly with grilled meats or as a dip for pita bread.

Indian Raita with Mint and Cumin: Infuse your meals with the vibrant flavours of India by preparing cooling raita. Combine curd with fresh mint, roasted cumin, and grated cucumber for a side dish that complements spicy curries and biryanis.

Turkish Cacık: Experience the Turkish delight of cacık, a yoghurt-based dish with cucumber, mint, and garlic. This versatile accompaniment can be served as a dip, sauce, or refreshing soup, adding a burst of flavour to your table.

Cuban Tostones with Garlic Aioli: Give a Latin twist to your snack time with Cuban tostones dipped in garlic aioli. Create a zesty aioli by combining curd with minced garlic, lime juice, and cilantro, adding a tropical flair to your crispy plantain bites.

Japanese Matcha Yogurt Parfait: Indulge in the subtle elegance of Japan with a matcha yoghurt parfait. Layer curd with matcha-infused granola, fresh fruits, and a drizzle of honey for a delightful and visually appealing Japanese-inspired dessert.

Moroccan Labneh Balls: Elevate your mezze platter with Moroccan labneh balls. Roll curd into small spheres, coat them in aromatic spices like za’atar or sumac and serve as a flavorful addition to your Middle Eastern-inspired spread.

Mexican Street Corn (Elote) with Lime Crema: Spice up your corn on the cob with a Mexican elote featuring lime crema. Mix curd with lime juice, chilli powder, and cilantro to create a tangy and creamy topping that takes this street food favourite to the next level.

Italian Lemon Ricotta Pancakes: Transport your breakfast to Italy with lemon ricotta pancakes. Incorporate curd and ricotta cheese into your pancake batter for a light and fluffy texture, enhanced by the zest of fresh lemons.

French Yogurt Cake (Gâteau au Yaourt): Delight in the simplicity of a French yoghurt cake. This classic dessert is made by blending curd into the batter, resulting in a moist and tender cake that pairs perfectly with a cup of coffee or tea.

Thai Coconut Mango Sticky Rice Pudding: Experience the tropical flavours of Thailand with a coconut mango sticky rice pudding. Infuse cooked sticky rice with coconut milk and serve it with a dollop of curd, topped with ripe mango slices for a sweet and satisfying dessert.

Conclusion: Take your taste buds on a global adventure by incorporating curd into dishes inspired by cuisines from around the world. From the Mediterranean to Asia, these recipes showcase the incredible versatility of the best quality curd, adding a creamy and flavorful touch to diverse culinary traditions. Embark on a tasty journey and let curd be your passport to international culinary delights.

Find us inside Subiksha Foods at No 110 A, Bypass Road, Bethaniyapuram, Opp Babu Sharkar Marriage Mahal, Madurai — 625016, or call us at +91 80567 44906. You will be able to browse our website at https://subikshafoods.in/ for details.

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[maximuswolf]

Cafecito

Cafecito Lately, I have been making my own with a Moka pot and Cafe Bustelo.I even got a thumbs up from one of my Cuban friends.Does anyone have some secret recipes or a certain brand of coffee they use?Inquiring minds want to know. Submitted February 20, 2023 at 09:18AM by easy10pins https://ift.tt/TuvFk5z via /r/Coffee

[zena-marchant]

What is the Most Popular Food in Miami?

Mofongo is a traditional Puerto Rican dish that is very popular in Miami. It is made of fried plantains with spices and garlic. These are cooked until crispy and are served with meat or vegetables. The dish is often paired with plantains and shrimp. It is one of the most popular dishes in Miami and can be found in many Latin-American restaurants. Miami has a variety of food from all over the world.

Fried pork skin is another popular dish in Miami. You can find it in almost any Cuban restaurant. It is served with a spicy, sweet and tangy sauce. If you're in a rush, you can grab a quick bite at one of these Cuban restaurants. You can also find Cuban hamburgers called fritas, which are served with matchstick potatoes and secret sauce on Cuban bread. You can get a Cuban-style version of a hamburger in Miami. Whether you're looking for a sweet or savory treat, you can find it in Miami.

Food in Miami is a mix of American, Caribbean, and Latin American influences. Locals refer to this unique mix of flavors as Floribbean. While there are staple foods like fried chicken, fish, and pizza, there are many other popular cuisines found in Miami. Cuban food is abundant, but you can also find South American, Deep South, and Caribbean cuisines, as well as a plethora of fresh seafood.

You can also find Jamaican food in Miami. The city is famous for its fried chicken, and there are many places in Miami where you can grab one. Another place to try conch is Clive's Cafe. The Cuban-style restaurant serves conch in various forms.

Another popular food in Miami is Cuban sandwiches. While the original Cuban sandwich was invented in Cuba, many Cuban restaurants have adopted this classic dish for the American palate. It is often stuffed with ham and cheese and served with mustard and pickles. Cuban sandwiches are very popular in Miami and other parts of Florida. You can dine-in at the sandwich shop or grab some to-go.

Key lime pie is a popular dessert. Key lime pie is a sweet and citrusy treat. It is served until 5 a.m. daily, making it a popular late-night snack. Key lime pie is an American favorite, so don't miss out. And while you're in Miami, don't miss out on the key lime pie. It is an iconic dish of the city.

Another delicious option is stone crab. This unique food is commonly found in the shallow waters of the Atlantic coast, but is available at many Miami restaurants. It is delicious, and can be served as a crab cocktail or as a steamed dish. Stone crab claw meat can also be added to recipes. It goes well with cocktail sauce, remoulade, and other seafood condiments.

One of Miami's top restaurants is 3030 Ocean. The menu takes inspiration from around the world and combines it with stunning presentation. It serves seafood, mainly fish, but also has some modern American dishes. The famous Shishito peppers are also very popular, and the restaurant's atmosphere is warm and inviting. It is the only restaurant in Miami mentioned on The Golden Girls. If you're looking for a romantic dinner, this is the place to go.

Pastelitos are a Cuban treat that should not be missed. Cuban coffee, made with Cuban spices, can be found at most walk-up windows in Miami. Another must-try Cuban food is the pastelito, a puff pastry treat that is filled with sweet or savory items such as coconut, fruit, or cream cheese.

[fullcravings]

Cuban Coffee

[straightboyfriend]

Pardon me, but you made a what latte and where can I find the recipe for it?

cookie butter latte ! i will post the recipe here & compile a google doc w other lattes i make :•)

what u will need:

• 2 shots of your preferred espresso (i use a cuban one because it’s sweeter & more chocolatey)

• a spoonful of cookie butter (i bought the biscoff type from target)

• vanilla syrup (also bought it from target lol)

you put the spoonful of cookie butter in your cup along with 3 pumps of vanilla syrup (or as much as you’d like) then pour the 2 shots of espresso over it & mix until it’s incorporated. the cookie butter should melt into it & then you just add whatever milk you prefer (i use oat milk) & then add ice & it’s done :•) it’s a very thick & rich latte, it sorta tastes like a melted milkshake to me a little bit & it’s so so sooooo good i really recommend it! you could also probably just use strong brewed coffee if you don’t have an espresso machine & it would be just as nice

[knifesforks]

Coffee Shop: Cuban Coffee Recipe (Cafecito)

[yougotthat-write]

Traitor (Reader x Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson)

Word Count: 4,500+

Warnings: No actual cheating but Rafi definitely isn’t going to win the #1 bf award with you; angst, :(

Summary: Even though Rafael Barba is in a committed relationship with you, he can’t help himself from getting closer to Olivia Benson.

Author’s Note: I’m not a Barson stan (I’m strictly a Benson/Tucker shipper and every Raúl character is shipped with me thx) but since Barson is a popular ship, when I listened to the Olivia Rodrigo album and heard Traitor, it made me think of Barson. Also, it started out being inspired by the first verse and I was like "I'll do the whole song!" but this was so long and kind of veered off in a different direction at the end so idk.

Read on AO3 here!

***

Brown guilty eyes and little white lies

Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew

That you'd talk to her, maybe did even worse

I kept quiet so I could keep you

Olivia Benson always seemed to have a glassy look in her eyes. If she was sad, angry, happy - her eyes would gloss over and she would seem to be just one simple word away from having tears slip down her cheeks and her body rock with sobs. But that special thing about Olivia Benson was that she was strong. No matter how sad, angry, or happy she got, Olivia wouldn’t break down. It was a blessing and a curse. She could help each victim through their investigations and trials with such vigor that her passion alone could make the defendants want to make a plea deal right then and there, but Olivia didn’t know when it was the right time for her to take that moment for herself and breathe.

That was until A.D.A. Rafael Barba made a place for himself in her world. Olivia was ecstatic to have another powerful being added to her small army of justice seekers. Seeing Rafael strut around the courtroom with his quick wit and an equally quick mouth made Olivia swell with admiration and respect towards the Cuban man. Even after his first case that he worked on with SVU, Olivia knew that Rafael was a man who could be trusted, not just as a fellow colleague, but as a friend.

You and Rafael had started dating around the time that he started working with Special Victims. When Rafael first told you of his new job months ago, you were obviously happy for him. Getting justice to those who needed it the most made you feel proud of your boyfriend. You both knew how hard these cases would be to prosecute but you knew your boyfriend. He was too smart for his own good and would certainly work himself into an early grave but his job was all for a greater good.

Over the course of a year, you saw your boyfriend transform into an even stronger attorney. But something inside of him changed. He definitely had a fire lit within him but he was also sad. A part of him knew that after he closed one case with a successful guilty verdict and handed the victim a full plate of justice for their trauma, dozens of more cases would be slapped onto his desk by his assistant before he could even get down the courthouse steps. Constantly seeing victims come forward with their traumas - physically, mentally, and emotionally - was hard not just for Rafael, but for the rest of the SVU team.

You would try your best to help him deal with his pain. You never knew about all the gory details because Rafael would never disclose them to you. He wanted to keep you safe. He didn’t want you to become jaded like he would soon be with each new case that would introduce him to just how disgusting and horrible people could be. And the fact that they were walking around the same planet, let alone the same streets as you and him - it made his blood boil and his mouth filled with a foul taste.

You would bring him a fresh cup of coffee. Or make a favorite meal with the recipe that you got from his mother. You would hug him and kiss him. You would listen to him voice his thoughts - even if they weren’t one hundred percent honest. When you confronted him about it, he paused, grabbed your hands, and said, “Thank you for worrying, mi amor.” You blinked. “I’ve been talking about it with some... colleagues, though. I think it’s been helping.” He pressed his lips to your forehead before asking you what you wanted for dinner that night. You gave a small nod when he suggested Mexican.

Over the next few weeks, you noticed Rafael become happier. While he was still jaded to a point, he was always seemingly reminded how there were people out there who would try to be their best like their own life depended on it. Like the only reason they existed on the Earth was to remind people that they could be better whilst also being given compassion.

***

If Rafael was asked about who he admired the most, he would certainly have to pause. He would need to know the overall context. He admired his mother and Abuela dearly. Those two women raised him to be the strong and headstrong man that he was today. He would consider his childhood best friend, Alejandro Muñoz. Alex was a boy who had charisma, drive, and showed kindness to Rafael when no other boys would. Even his own mother adored Alex. The last person he would consider for his admiration would be Olivia Benson. Ever since he met her, she was the poster child for what SVU stood for. If Rafael had been a mad scientist, he would have copied Olivia thousands of times and sent the army into the streets of New York. Rafael would be sure that crime would disappear overnight and the world would find peace.

But he couldn’t do that.

And so instead, he became friends with Olivia. The two would spend more and more time together. Whenever his office door would be pushed open without Rafael’s permission, he was always ready to bark and bare his teeth to whoever tried to interrupt his work, but all of that would be swallowed down when Olivia walked in. She would either have a sad smile on her face from having to give Barba a new case or it would be scowling and bubbling with anger because she had just gotten bad news about a current case.

Rafael didn’t like either of those looks. But he did enjoy what came out of it - conversation. Olivia and Rafael had gotten into the habit of talking with each other. Things seemed to flow so easily between them. After a particularly horrid case that involved children who were scarred for life because of some rotten man who betrayed their trust - Rafael hadn’t gone to you to talk about it. He knew he should have. Hours after the guilty verdict was won, Rafael had found himself in a cab and told the driver to head over to the precinct. He made his way through the eerily quiet police station.

The bullpen was empty. Amanda had gone home to her daughter. Fin had a dinner reservation with his son and son’s fiancee. Nick had the weekend off for a short trip to D.C. to see his daughter who lived with his ex-wife. Carisi was probably in one of his night classes. And the light on in Olivia’s office would tell Rafael that she was still here. Before he reached the door, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He dug for it and the screen lit up with a text message.

Working late?

Rafael’s tongue flickered over his lips. His thumb hovered over the keyboard, mind reeling.

Yes.

When the text was sent, the door to Olivia’s office opened. Rafael’s gaze flickered up as his fingers fumbled to lock his phone as it let out a quick buzz. You had texted back but Rafael didn’t read it. He eventually made his way home hours later.

It was late. You were already asleep in your shared bed. Rafael’s heart was thrumming so loud in his chest that he thought it would wake you up. He felt a thickness in his throat. He thought he was going to throw up. Stepping out into the living room, he fell back onto the couch with tears in his eyes. He ran his hands over his face. His fingers struggled to loosen the tie around his neck. He felt claustrophobic. He felt hot. Pushing his suit jacket off, he blinked quickly. His vision was getting blurry. He tossed his jacket onto the coffee table as his fingers went to his tie again but they didn’t reach their destination.

His jacket made a louder thud than normal. Taking a shaky breath, he reached for it and grabbed his phone. His vision blurred again as his screen lit up with two texts.

Thank you for tonight, Rafa.

That was from Olivia.

The tears finally slipped down his face when he read the second text that was from you.

Don’t work too hard. I love you, Rafi.

Rafael slept on the couch that night. When you found him the next morning, you were confused and worried. Practically jumping from the couch from his weak slumber, his lips pushed against yours, hard. His hands held your face in a vice and when his lips weren’t kissing yours, they were mumbling “I love you.”

You didn’t know why, but you felt sick.

***

You had only met the SVU team a few times. They were quite a memorable bunch. Each detective had their own quirks. You found that Amanda and Fin shared the habit of gossiping. The two of them had come up to you numerous times - whether when you visited the precinct or met at Forlini’s after a long day of work - and asked you about any dirty secrets about the very private A.D.A. Despite their nagging, you found them to be friendly and funny.

Nick seemed to be brooding whenever you saw him. And from the information that was given to you from Amanda, you understood why. That man seemed to never catch a break. But he was still polite. He bristled whenever Rafael’s name was brought up and you could put it together that the two Latino men have gone head to head more than once.

Sonny was maybe your favorite. He was a charismatic Italian man with an accent that took some getting used to and he was so eager to learn new things. He told you about his night school classes and how he wanted to be a lawyer. One time at Forlini’s when you were both grabbing some refills at the bar, he had quietly asked you, “I don’t uh, wanna sound weird or anything-” he peeked over his shoulder, before leaning closer to you, “but uh, what does Bahr-bah like? Like, I know he likes coffee and stuff, but whenever I try to be nice to him... He just-” Sonny’s cheeks started to get pink. Probably more than they normally would since he had a few drinks already. “I’m studying to be a lawyer and he’s really good, you know. Couldn’t hurt to get on his good side.”

You awed at the man, pinching one of his cheeks before telling him of Rafael’s favorite brand of bourbon. You warned him of the price but with the holidays coming up, maybe it wouldn’t be looked at as something too outrageous to get. Sonny gave you a hard nod and you could tell he was trying to lock that information in his intoxicated brain.

When you met Olivia, it was… weird.

While you had met the rest of the SVU team here and there, you met Olivia late one night. Rafael had texted you earlier that evening. Working late, love. He had texted you a variation of that message every day that week. You barely saw him in the mornings when the two of you did the early morning dance of getting ready for your jobs. A quick peck on the lips would be the only physical contact you would have until the next morning since you were typically asleep by the time he came home.

But it was a Friday. You were hoping he would come home at a reasonable time with the weekend coming up. Wanting to do something for your boyfriend, you made dinner and packed up a portion for you and a portion for him, and left your shared apartment hoping to distract your hard-working boyfriend for a little while.

The night air was chilly and 1 Hogan Place was practically empty. You passed a security guard, flashing him a smile and your reasoning for being there so late. His brows knitted up, grunting out, “I don’t think anyone here’s ma’am.” But he let you head over to Rafael’s office without much of a fight.

The hallways were empty and the offices you passed were dark. You could hear the faint sound of a machine of some sort that was down another hallway. A janitor was waxing the floors of the immaculate building. When you finally reached the familiar outcove of Rafael’s office, you saw Carmen’s desk. Papers, sticky notes, and Rafael’s schedule were plastered all over her desk. A button flashed on the phone, ready to let her know that there was a plethora of messages to listen to when she clocked in the next morning.

When you stepped over to Rafael’s office, the door was shut, which wasn’t unusual. But it was dark. Your brows furrowed, adjusting the tote bag that held your freshly cooked meal on your shoulder. Your hand grabbed the handle and tried to turn it.

Locked.

Your lips twisted as you tried to think. You grabbed your phone from your pocket, opening up the thread of messages between you and Rafael. You read his last message for a long time. He’s working late. So where is he? You gave the knob another try as if it would magically open but nothing. You even rapped your knuckle against the wood, the hoarse whisper of Rafael’s name filled the small room.

You took a step back from the door, finger shakily finding Rafael’s contact. The line trilled loudly and your mind was filled with awful thoughts. “Please,” You begged down the phone, “Rafi, please-” The trilling stopped and you took a breath.

“You’ve reached Rafael Barba. Please leave your name, number, and message. My office number is-” You ended the call. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. Your head felt dizzy and the tote bag on your shoulder felt like it was a thousand pounds. It slid off your shoulder and your hand gripped the straps hard as it knocked against your leg, inches above the carpeted floor.

Your other hand redialed Rafael. When you listened to his voicemail for the fifth time, your eyes were watery and you could barely see what was around you in the dimly lit room. Your feet were guiding you through the building, and past the security guard with speed. The guard looked up at you briefly as you flew by him before going back to his phone.

You didn’t know what to do. Do you call the police? Do you keep trying his cell? The New York streets were dark and you knew that you shouldn’t be out and about. Especially on the verge of tears. After listening to Rafael’s voicemail for another time, you searched your contacts as best as you could. The words on your phone were blurred and you squeezed your eyes shut to stop it. When you opened them again with a sniffle of your nose, you found Amanda’s contact.

She answered on the fourth trill, “Hello?” She paused like she was seeing who was calling her. When she saw your name, she put the phone back to her ear and said your name, confused. You had never called Amanda before.

You tried your best to steady your voice, “I don’t know where he is.”

“Who?”

You sniffled again, “Rafael-” A tremble rocked through your body as you watched a cab pass by. “I-I don’t know where he is. H-he’s not answering his phone. He’s not at his office. Amanda-” A tear slipped down your cheek and you wiped it away harshly.

Amanda took in a breath. “Alright,” There was a rustling over the phone like she was moving around her apartment. “Calm down, okay? Where are you?” You heard the clunk of shoes and the jingle of keys. You told her that you were outside of Hogan Place. “Okay, get to the precinct. Text me when you get there. I’ll call everyone else and we’ll meet you there, okay?” Amanda’s voice was stern but even you in your almost blubbering state could hear the tremble of uncertainty. Amanda knew Barba enough to know that him not answering his phone was out of character.

You nodded at her words before assuring her in words. She hung up with a click and you adjusted the tote bag onto your other shoulder, needing to give your right arm a break. Your coat sleeve was brought up to your cheeks, trying to soak up the wetness that trailed down your face. Hoping you didn’t look too scary or vulnerable, you hailed down a cab and told him to bring you over to the 16th precinct.

The precinct was only slightly more alive with life than Hogan Place. You exited the elevator onto the floor where Special Victims was with your stomach in knots. You made your way to the bullpen, passing some cops who were stuck with the night shift. You found Amanda’s desk which was marked with the various pictures of Jesse and slumped the tote of cold food onto the desk. Now free of the dead weight, your hands went to cover your eyes as you tried to steady your breathing.

You had sent Rafael a handful of texts in the cab ride over.

Raf, please pick up.

Hello?? Are you ok??

Call me, please.

Please.

I can’t have anything happen to you.

Your hands dropped from your face and your body perked when you heard something… a laugh? You blinked a few times, needing to adjust to the lights in the bullpen. You took in the room, glancing at all the desks of the detectives until your eye caught the sliver of light coming from behind a door. Your eyes drifted up the wood. A small window was in the middle of the door, a small curtain drawn. Then, you saw the plaque above it.

Captain Olivia Benson.

Your chest heaved when you read it. She can help! A thankful smile graced your lips as you ran over the door. Your hand twisted the handle with lightning speed and you pushed the door open with your whole body. You didn’t care if it would be looked at as rude. The only thing on your mind was finding Rafael. And even though you haven’t met Olivia yet, Rafael had mentioned more than enough times that she was a good cop.

You practically fell into the room, your gaze landing on the wide-eyed brunette who was sitting at her desk. “I-I’m so sorry,” Your lips were moving fast, “I-I need help finding my boyfr-”

You cut yourself off. A noise of disbelief bubbled from your throat. Your hand still gripped the handle of the door and you thought you were going to rip the entire slab of wood off the hinges. You blinked rapidly, trying to see if the scene in front of you was some hallucination. Like some weird, absurd dream. Or a nightmare. Would this be considered a nightmare?

In the office that you barged into, sat Olivia Benson at her desk. Her hair was down, her eyes were wide and worried. She didn’t know who you were. She immediately thought of you as a woman who needed to report an assault or worse, a rape. But when she heard you start to explain your reasoning being there - before you cut yourself off - she was still worried and would help. She was just relieved. The team had just closed a rough case involving multiple rapes on the West Side. Having a softball of a case would be preferred, even if it wasn’t a sex crime. Olivia had on a form-fitting t-shirt. Her blazer was hung on the back of her chair. In front of her was a few white boxes of Chinese takeout. She had dropped one of her chopsticks onto her desk when you had barged in.

But Olivia wasn’t what you were looking at.

In the chair sitting on the other side of her desk was Rafael Barba. When you first came into the office, his back was to you and he was slurping on a noodle. His chest struggled for air as he choked on his food. When he turned to face the intruder of his late night dinner with Olivia, his jaw dropped.

His eyes flickered over your appearance. Your jacket was pulled tightly against your body to keep you warm from the chilly New York night. Your eyes were red and swollen. Your cheeks glistened in the light of the office. He could see the invisible trails your tears had carved out on your face. He tossed the white carton he was holding onto Olivia’s desk without care to where or how it landed and stood up quickly, wiping his mouth from the grease of the noodles.

“Cariño,” He whispered as his head filled with the same thoughts Olivia had moments ago. Why were you here? What happened to you? Did you get raped? He stepped towards you, arms outstretched to grab you and pull you into a hug but you took a swift step back. His brows furrowed as he watched you. After saying your name and taking another step, you kept the distance between you two.

Your brain felt empty. Walking in on this late night work session had absolutely wiped your mind. You stood in your spot as Rafael watched you cautiously and Olivia stood up from her seat. She didn’t say anything. She just watched. As your whole being rebooted itself, your gaze looked anywhere other than Rafael and Olivia.

You took in the decorated office. Shelves with books. File cabinets were in the corner, filled with cases that went all the way back to the ’90s. There was a small couch against one of the walls. You saw pictures on the wall - some of Olivia, some of nameless people, some of a small boy. You didn’t look at Rafael until he said your name again. It was stern. He wanted to know what the hell happened to you.

His green eyes locked with you and for the first time, you hated to look at them. Your bottom lip was sucked into your mouth and you chewed on it. The hamster wheel in your brain hadn’t started running again yet. You were surprised at how calm you were right at that moment. Rafael was hesitant, but he took a half step towards you. He didn’t want to scare you off like you were some small wild animal. When he moved towards you, your gaze hardened and he saw it.

He got the first syllable of your name out before you finally spoke, “I thought you were dead.” His eyes widened again and he looked at you like you had three heads. You took a deep breath in and out through your nose. “I went to Hogan Place.” Your grip tightened on the handle and Olivia watched as your knuckles tried to break through the skin of your hand. “I made dinner and decided to bring it over to you at your office. You said you were working late and we hadn’t seen each other much this week.” You looked over at the cartons of food that sat on Olivia’s desk taunting you. “Your office was locked. Empty.”

Your free hand went to your hair. Your fingers threaded through your hair and you gripped the strands in frustration before speaking, “I called you. Probably twenty times.” Rafael’s eyes moved from your face and to the carpet of Olivia’s office. His stature began to slump the more you went on. “I texted. I-I,” you shook your head, “I thought you probably went home early but when you didn’t pick up, I thought the worst had happened.”

Olivia watched you. She took in how you were trying so hard not to yell or cry at Rafael. Your eyes had that oh so familiar shine to them. “I didn’t know what to do. If I should call the cops,” You had added a slight snicker to the last word, “so I called Amanda. She told me to come here and wait for her. I saw your office light was on,” You locked eyes with Olivia, speaking directly to her like Rafael wasn’t even there. “And Rafael has always told me how amazing you are as a cop. The best he’s ever met.” Rafael’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. “But you’re fine.” You finally looked at him again. He lifted his head and his heart pounded in his ears. He winced when you spoke again, “I’ll leave you to finish your work.”

You didn’t intend to slam the door of the office of a woman you had just met but your blood was boiling through your body. Your coat felt like a cocoon of heat. You ran a hand through your hair, trying to think, trying to process. You didn’t even hear the elevator ding, alerting the arrival of Amanda who was leading the pack of a yawning Fin, a furrowed brow Nick, and a Sonny who was mumbling about an assignment for one of his classes.

The four of them looked at you, standing in the middle of the bullpen, pulling at your own hair. They could visibly see that you weren’t currently in the real world. You were stuck in your head. Amanda stepped forward, placing a hand on your shoulder. You jumped at the touch, eyes snapping over to the blonde. She was taken aback by your energy. Something felt off.

“Are you okay?” She whispered to you.

You shook your head.

Nick jumped in, “When was the last time you heard from him?”

“He said he was heading here after the trial,” You heard Sonny say. While Sonny didn’t mean anything by the statement, it felt like the lanky detective had thrown a hard punch directly to your chest. You let out a sharp chuckle. It was dry, cold. Amanda’s face contorted into confusion.

“Hey,” Fin grabbed the attention of the other men, “Cap is still here. We should let her know he’s missin’.” Fin made his way over to the office door of Olivia and rapped a knuckle against the window. The sound of the glass being tapped made your legs start to move you towards the elevator. Your shoes echoed in the quiet bullpen. Sonny made a noise of confusion, watching you leave. His thumb was pointed over in your direction as he looked over at Amanda.

Amanda called your name, ready to ask you what was up when the door to Olivia’s office opened. Fin scowled before stepping back. Olivia let out a shaky breath, stepping out into the bullpen. Your finger jabbed the button to call the elevator. You heard Nick grumble and Amanda let out a “huh?” The four detectives watched as Rafael stepped out of Olivia’s office. His hands were in the pockets of his pants.

“What the hell is happening?” That was Amanda.

“I thought you were missing?” Fin said.

You heard the ding of the elevator and the doors slid open. Rafael watched you as you stepped into the small box and when he heard the doors closed, he saw the colorful tote bag that was resting on Amanda’s desk. The food inside of it was empty of any heat.

Cold.

Rotting.

Just like his relationship.

[tropes-and-tales]

Every Unhappy Family, Chapter Six

Characters:  Nick Amaro and F!Reader

WC:  5330

Other Pieces:  This is part of a series.

CW:  Language.  Smut.  18+ only.

________________

It was exactly how Nick had expected it to go:  in the morning, you joked the kiss away.  You punched him lightly (‘we’re just two bros,’ your punch told him, ‘nothing more.’)  You poured yourself a coffee and told Nick that you were going to make sure he led the next enthusiastic consent seminar that NYPD sometimes put on at Hudson University.

“Taking advantage of a half-asleep woman,” you admonished him with a smile.  “And you, drunk on light beer.  Shameful, Nicholas.”

You didn’t get that he knew your tells by now.  You probably thought you were fooling him, but Nick knew you better than you realized.  He saw the way your cheeks pinked just a bit.  He saw how you carefully stepped around him in the kitchen to get your coffee.  In the past, you’d just charge him like a bull until he stepped out of your way at the last minute.  Now, you kept a careful six inches between you and him, like when the nuns stalked his Catholic middle school dances to make sure no one’s genitals were too close to each other.

Nick let it go for the time being.  He wanted more with you, but he couldn’t really complain about what he had:  he was your partner at work, he lived with you.  He was in your tiny spare bedroom (decorated in Star Wars with stray Legos that crept out at night to get under his feet) and not in your bed, but he didn’t want to rush anything anyway.  He loved you – he knew it.  He wanted to do it right.

And he knew you needed approached in a certain way.  You were still deeply hurt over your own ended marriage from years ago.  There was also a failed engagement afterwards that he didn’t know much about.  Nick wanted to be the charmed third time, not another link in a chain of misery.

So he let it go.  For now.

He had to sell his house.  It was part of the divorce agreement – sell the house, split the proceeds, no alimony.  Maria made more than him anyway, and he was too proud to take alimony.  Nick handled dinner the night he had to break it to you.  You were easily swayed by his Cuban recipes, and when he described them to you in Spanish, he noted how your eyes drifted to his mouth when he did.  Interesting.  Nick didn’t hide his heritage, but he didn’t play it up like some Latino men did.  Maybe he should.

“There’s an offer on my house,” he explained over ropa vieja and wine.  “Once it sells, I’ll have enough for a deposit somewhere.”  He paused and glanced up at you to see your reaction, but you had a carefully neutral expression.

“Okay,” was all you said.

“Or,” he offered.  “I thought maybe I could start paying you rent, halving the utilities…I can always stay at my mother’s when I have Zara or when your nephew comes to visit.”  He let the idea trail off and tried to gauge your reaction to that.  No reaction, which told him plenty.

“You’re always welcome here, but whatever you think is best,” you replied, and Nick could read between the lines.  If you wanted him out, you’d tell him to get the hell out.  But if you wanted him to stay, you’d never say so.  You hated to appear weak, so you never asked for the things you needed or wanted.  You’d say “whatever you think is best” with a blank expression and hope he’d stay.

So he did.

*****

There wasn’t a word to describe how you were living.  

You’d never felt this way about someone before.  With Jamie, it had been a natural progression from kids riding bikes together to kids in love.  You’d never had a crush on him because he’d always just been there.  You loved him, but that love had grown out of familiarity and friendship.

With your ex-fiancée, as much as you hated to admit it, it had been largely due to timing and loneliness.  You had reached a few milestones after Jamie died – a year, two years – and you felt like you had to reenter the dating scene.  You’d met your ex.  He seemed fine.  It was convenient.

Nick, though.  Nick Amaro – handsome, smart.  A wreck in some ways, remarkably pulled together in others.  A great father, a good husband until life spiraled out of control.  A good partner at work and a better roommate.  

And a good kisser.  You’d been half asleep and he’d been half drunk, but that lone kiss had sparked something inside you that you’d been carefully ignoring for a while.

But one kiss meant nothing, and Nick was coming off of a messy and painful divorce.  It was far more likely that he was just lonely or rebounding, so you tried your best to just ignore that feeling that made your chest feel tight and your stomach feel a little flu-like.  

That feeling?  The only reason you didn’t recognize it was because it had been so long that you’d felt it.  It was love.

*****

Cases at SVU came and went, and they were rarely anything but awful.  The latest was a domestic violence.  A former football player had been caught on camera punching his girlfriend and dragging her across a parking garage like a bag of garbage, and it was all Nick could do to keep his temper under control.  It made him sick, every time he had to watch the footage.  A.J. Martin was three times the size of his girlfriend, Paula.  

It disgusted him.  Even in his worst times with Maria, he never once thought to raise his hand to her.  He had loved his wife, and maybe it was old-fashioned, but he had always felt a tender sort of protectiveness around her.  Which was laughable, really – Maria was an ace markswoman and had survived active duty.  She’d be better at protecting him, most likely.  But still – a husband and father should protect, not attack his family like a rabid dog.

They were halfway through the trial.  Nick begrudgingly admitted that Barba was giving a spirited attack to Calhoun’s defense, but it was tricky territory.  The victim was firmly on the accused’s side, which put the ADA in a tough spot when it came to questioning her.  Everyone was on edge, frustrated.  You had suggested drinks after court was adjourned, and both Nick and Amanda took you up on the offer.

Nick realized afterwards that you had been trying to break the hold of the trial.  You ordered a round for the three of you and tried to broach different subjects – the exorbitant price of tickets for the hit show on Broadway, the weather, a movie you’d recently seen.  You even mentioned the Mets (for Nick’s benefit, he realized), and you hated baseball.  You could sense the tension and were trying to dispel it.

He’d realize too late that you were doing what you’d done your entire childhood – try to head off a disaster before it happened.  At the bar, however, Nick didn’t see it.  He just talked with Amanda about the case. Finished a drink.  Bickered with Amanda.  Had another drink.  Before he knew it, he and the petite blonde were full-on arguing, and you were forgotten between the two of them.

Amanda was clearly drunk.  Nick was only tipsy.  It was the same argument they had in the squad room days earlier, but stirred up now by the trial and booze and bad feeling.

“Take it easy,” Nick warned Amanda, but she was in a belligerent mood.  

“You counting my drinks now?” she sneered back at him.  “Saint Nick, Savior of Damaged Women.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Nick saw you reach for Amanda’s arm to try and soothe her mood.  “No man has a right to hit a woman,” he told her.

Back and forth they went.  Nick barely saw you as you winced at each barb he and Amanda traded, and his temper was steadily rising.  Amanda took cheap shots – about his arguments with Maria at the precinct.  He didn’t rise to those, so she started shoving him, pushing his shoulder and goading him to hit her.

Nick would never, ever hit a woman, but he still snapped.  He took his mostly-empty drink glass and threw it, and he relished the satisfying sound of breaking glass and gasps of startled patrons around him.  It was a split-second of satisfaction until the shame immediately set in.  He was no better than his father, for Christ’s sake.  Or nearly as bad.

But his temper re-flared when he saw you – your hands on Amanda, holding her back and fussing over her.  Of course – you were on her side.  Sticking together with your original partner because you never wanted to be paired with him in the first place.  He felt angry at you too.  Angry that you barely let him into your life, angry that you didn’t see how he felt about you.  

Angry that you’d seen him lose his temper, angry that you’d judge him for it.  He could do a million things right – with Maria, with you – but he’d always fall short in the end.

“I’m doing what A.J. Martin should have done,” he snapped at Amanda – and you.  “I’m walking away.”  He pivoted on his heel, and the last thing he heard was you asking Amanda if she was okay, and her huff of bitter laughter in response.

-----

He waited up for you.  He knew he shouldn’t:  he should shower and go to bed and just joke it away in the morning like you always did.

Nick was too worked up though.  The more he ran through his fight with Amanda, the madder he got at you. You didn’t stick up for him at all.  You sided with her.  He didn’t know too much about your childhood, but out of anyone, you should have been on his side.

He was spoiling for round two of the fight, and he waited up to have it with you.

You got home an hour later.  He sat on the couch and watched you kick off your shoes and shed your coat, and you gave him a tight smile when you caught him watching you.  You asked if he was okay, and he only scoffed at you and didn’t answer.

You walked over to where he was sitting, and you put your hands on your hips as you stared down at him.  “You mad at me?”  He grunted the affirmative, and you sighed.

“I had to get Amanda out of there,” you said as you plopped down beside him.  “You seemed fine to get yourself home.”

Nick gritted his teeth and responded.  “It’s not the logistics of getting everyone home.  It’s this case.”  He swiveled his head to look at you.  “You really agree with Rollins, that Paula Martin can take care of herself?  You think this case is a bust?”  The more he talked, the angrier he got.

You only shrugged at him.  “I’d agree with Amanda that the moon landing was faked if it meant getting her home in one piece.”  When he didn’t laugh, you sighed again and scrubbed your hands over your face.  

“Look,” you told him, and you didn’t look at him.  You kept your gaze focused on a spot on the floor.  “My dad hit my mom every day when I was growing up, and when I was old enough to try and intervene, he hit me.”  A pause.  “Neighbors called the cops all the time, but my mom never pressed charges.  Teachers saw bruises on me, called the cops, but my mom made excuses.  ‘She’s clumsy,’ she’d tell them.  ‘Trips a lot.’  When I was sixteen, seventeen, I just left home.  Went across the street and lived with Jamie.  His dad was a widower and made me sleep in a separate room, but he knew what my family was like.”  Another shrug, and you raised your head to glance at Nick.  “So no, I don’t agree with Amanda.”

Nick’s anger didn’t fade – it just shifted to your father.  A man he’d never met, but he could guess what he was like.  His own father, Nicholas Amaro Sr., used his fists and his hurtful words in equal measure, and it had left everyone scarred – him, his sister, his mother.  

He knew what it was like to grow up in a home like that.  It made Nick feel rage, the thought of you as a kid, absorbing the same blows he had absorbed as a kid.  It was a pointless rage.  There wasn’t anything he could do to fix it.

You dropped your head to stare at the floor again.  “You know, Amanda grew up in…less than ideal conditions too,” you told him, halting as you chose your words carefully.  “I know she was…challenging tonight, but try to spare a little understanding for her.”  You turned to him with eyes that looked a little watery.  “When I tucked her into bed, she was already starting with the self-loathing.”

Nick nodded, and you nodded in return.  There was a stretch of silence.  It was heavy, but not from awkwardness between the two of you.  The weight of the silence was more likely attributed to the bad memories that were crowding in each of your heads.  That, and the Martin case.

“How’s that saying go?” Nick finally asked, breaking the silence.  “’Every happy family is the same, but every unhappy family is unique’?”

You snorted and sat back against the couch, slumped in exhaustion.  “I think it’s backwards, actually.  Happy families are unique, but unhappy ones are the same.  Think about it, Nick – me, you, Amanda, Barba…we all had the same sort of childhood, and I bet we all have the same issues because of it.”

“Probably.”

You shifted on the couch a bit until you were facing him, and he turned to look at you too.  You were clearly tired, worn down.  You had dark circles under your eyes, and you were doing that slow blink you did when you were tipsy or, more often than not, exhausted.  Like him, you weren’t eating well or sleeping well, and it showed.  

“You know I have your back, right, Nick?” you asked.  Your voice was soft and almost pleading.  “Don’t be mad at me.  I just wanted to get everyone out of the bar before there was any trouble.”

He sighed, and the last stubborn bit of anger faded away.  “I know.  I’m sorry…I didn’t react better.”

You gave him a half-smile.  “Amanda has a way of needling people right in their soft spots.  I just need you to know that I’ve got your back, even when it might seem like I don’t, okay?”

Nick nodded, and he reached out to grasp your hand in his.  You didn’t pull away, which was saying something, but he joked with you to keep the situation light.

“You say you have my back,” he said mournfully.  “But you’ve never once came to one of my rec league softball games.”

You groaned, rolled your eyes.  Pulled your hand from his to chuck him playfully in his arm.  “I don’t even like professional baseball games, and they have beer and brats there.”

“Still….”  He tried to look as woebegone as possible.  “A good partner would come cheer me on…”

You laughed at him and stood up, and you extended your hand to him to haul him up too.  “Hell might freeze over, Nick,” you told him as you walked towards your bedroom.  “So don’t give up hope.”

Nick went to his own room, and he fell asleep nearly as soon as his head hit the pillow.  He realized though, before he drifted off, that he had stayed up to fight with you – and had ended up laughing with you by the end instead.  He never had that before, even with Maria in their best of times.

-----

The jury in the Martin case came back with a guilty charge, shocking everyone – including SVU and Barba.  A rare victory in a domestic violence case, so everyone went to Forlini’s to celebrate.  You must have spoken to Rollins at some point – she pulled Nick aside and apologized.  Nick, for his part, apologized too, and Rollins replied by jerking her chin in your direction across the bar.  You were trying to pretend that you weren’t watching them, and you were failing utterly.  It made Nick smile, and Rollins caught it.

“You like her,” she said.  A statement, not a question.  He nodded.

“No,” she continued.  She tilted her head and fixed him with her bright blue eyes.  “You love her.”  That was more of a question, and Nick only made a noise in his throat that was neither an affirmation nor a denial.

Rollins only looked at him a moment, trying to suss him out.  “A bit of insight, Saint Nick.  She thinks you’re rebounding.  And she doesn’t think she could take just being a rebound.”  

Then she walked back to the table where Fin was telling some story from the old days at SVU, and Nick followed a moment later, lost in his own thoughts.

*****

There was something about springtime that made you feel antsy, and “antsy” was just a nicer way to say that your interludes with your detachable showerhead wasn’t cutting it.  It was almost like the spring pollen set off your allergies and your libido.  

Having Nick in the apartment didn’t help, although he helped nurse you through your annual bout with hay fever.  You were a complete grouch, unable to breathe, eyes constantly running.  He handled it all like a pro, dosing you with Allegra and feeding you your favorite foods and ducking your blows when he made fun of your nasally voice.

Then your allergies passed, and you could see your partner/roommate more clearly – in his shorts, and his t-shirts that strained just a bit around the shoulders in that way you inexplicably liked.  It was hard enough to resist him from his personality; it was criminal that he could be so hot too.

You went out with Amanda a few times now that the weather was nice, but you were just there as a wing-woman.  Technically single, but you didn’t really consider yourself available.  Amanda called you out on it once.  You told her the same thing you always did – you didn’t want to be a rebound – but she gave you that look she had that made you feel like you were utterly transparent.  

“Nick is too much of a Boy Scout to be a player,” she told you.  She sounded weary, like she was tired of seeing the world clearly and translating it for the idiots around her.  “He plays for keeps.”  She looked you up and down pointedly.  “Maybe give him a prize worth playing for.”

That made you snort at her, but her words stayed with you all night.  When you got home, Nick was asleep on the couch (a baseball game highlights on the T.V. – since moving in permanently, you reluctantly agreed to the expanded sports package).  You didn’t think anything of it at first, but then you remembered Amanda’s words.  Maybe he was waiting up for you.

You only watched him sleep for a moment.  Asleep, he looked like a boy almost – all the tension he carried in his face during the long work days was melted away, and his hair was tousled.  You turned the T.V. off and pulled the light blanket from the back of the couch to cover him.  

The next morning was Saturday, and you were both off for the entire, glorious weekend.  Nick had a softball game, and he asked with that kicked-puppy look he had if you were coming to cheer him on.

You listed out the other things you had to do that were preferable – clean the apartment, get groceries, get a root canal, do your taxes by hand on paper forms…Nick only gave you his saddest eyes, and he said he’d be back later.

If you got your chores done early, that was just a coincidence.  If you took a quick shower to clean up, it was just because it was a muggy day in the city.  That’s the excuse you gave too for the sundress you put on, but you dressed it down with a pair of Keds.

And if you made your way over to the park where the inter-borough rec league played their games, it was just because there was literally nothing else to do – no books to read, no movies to watch – so you might as well go watch an amateur version of the worst sport ever.

There was a small cluster of spectators, and you made your way over towards them.  You scanned the field – it looked like Nick out in the outfield, but your eyes weren’t that good.  You waited until they got their outs and came in to bat.  Yes, it was Nick.

Christ, this was a bad idea.  The low-simmering desire you tamped down daily was bad enough when he was in his stuffy dress shirts and ties.  You much preferred Casual-Nick, the boy next door loping into the infield in gym wear and a hat.  That was the Nick that joked around and smiled and wasn’t completely ground down by his job.

He didn’t see you right away, and you drifted to the chain link fence.  You could hear the men in the dugout, their casual banter and laughter.  You recognized it from your own days as a hockey player, and you felt a wave of nostalgia for the comradery of a team sport.  You were lost in reminiscing, and you almost missed Nick stepping up to the plate.

Some of his teammates tried to overcompensate for a lack of skill with big, meaty swings.  Nick had finesse, a casual athleticism that made you wonder if it extended to more intimate activities.  He took a few practice swings, then stepped into the box, and his swing was confident and true.  He hit the gap between center and right field, and he was a quick sprinter (which you knew from running down perps with him).  A double, and he settled on second base before taking a nervy leadoff towards third.

You twined your fingers in the chain-link fence.  “Stealing can be a felony, detective,” you called, and you laughed at the surprise as Nick swiveled his head towards your voice, saw you, and broke into a broad grin.

Then he turned, too late, to see the pitcher toss the ball to the second baseman.  Who tagged him out with a smirk.

You ducked your head as Nick jogged past you to return to the dugout, where his teammates were jeering at him for ogling a woman instead of paying attention.  “Sorry,” you told him, but he only shook his head and smiled at you.

*****

Nick never in a million years thought you’d actually turn up to one of his games.  It had only been a joke when he asked you to, since you had a hatred of baseball.  But there you were:  not just standing on the sidelines, but looking like a vision in a sweetly sexy dress and a pair of sneakers.  He could barely look away.

You stayed the entire time, and every time he looked at you, you were present – watching the game, not fiddling on your phone.  He was able to make up for his embarrassing tag-out by hitting two triples, and his team won in the end anyway.  He gathered up his gear and walked over to where you were standing and waiting for him with a smile on your face.

“You came,” he said.

“Well, I didn’t want to be accused of not being a good partner.”  The two of you fell in step together as you made your way out of the park.

“A good partner wouldn’t get me tagged when I’m trying to steal a base.”

You elbowed him in his side.  “Take it or leave it, Amaro.  I came and cheered you on, didn’t I?”

The joking, the easiness with you was the same as always, but Nick was hyperaware of you walking beside him in your dress.  You favored comfortable clothes, but you wore dresses – usually when you went out with Amanda.  Had you dressed up for him?  More likely, you’d just worn it because it was muggy and hot out.

He studied you out of the corner of his eye as you waited at a crosswalk.  Your hair was up in a high ponytail, and a few stray strands were curled against your neck from the humidity.  The dress wasn’t explicitly sexy – it was a simple cotton affair in deep green, and it showed off the swell of your breasts nicely.  The skirt wasn’t short, hitting just above the knee.  It had thin straps, showing an expanse of your smooth skin.  Nick imagined putting his mouth there – on your neck, on your shoulder.  He wondered what you tasted like, what sort of noises you’d make if he did.  He felt himself getting aroused, and he shifted his gym bag surreptitiously to hide the fact from you.

If you noticed, you didn’t let on.  You only chattered about your day:  running errands, talking with your sister and nephew.  The following weekend, Zara was coming to visit, so you were planning your own trip to Boston to see your own family.

Once you got to your apartment building, though, you fell silent.  In the elevator, your bare arm brushed his to hit the button, and it made you jump.  When Nick looked at you, your face was blushing furiously, and he realized all at once that he wasn’t the only one feeling amorous.

Maybe it was just winning the game, but more likely, it was you coming to his game.  The simple action spoke volumes to him, and it gave him the courage he’d been lacking with you.

Mostly, he was tired of waiting.  He wanted you, badly.

You both entered the apartment, and you turned to throw the deadbolt.  Nick dropped his gym bag, and when you turned back around, you turned straight into his arms.

“What – “ you started to say, but he only pressed you against the door, pinning your body with his.  Not hard or forceful, but insistent.  There was a single second of doubt when he leaned in to kiss you, but you gave yourself away – your gaze flickered to his mouth before returning to his eyes.

If your half-asleep kiss months ago was sweet, this one decidedly wasn’t.  It was pure hunger:  you parted your lips and slid your own tongue against his, groaning at the taste of him and swallowing his own groans as he tasted you.  Nick was made nearly breathless by your ardor, how you pulled his lower lip into your mouth and twined your fingers through his hair to pull him closer to you.  

He reached up to cup the side of your face, and he tilted your head to deepen the kiss.  His other hand ran down your bare arm, warm from the sun, and came to rest on your waist.  He pulled you closer to him, and you obviously felt his erection pressed against your hip, judging from the way your breath hitched in your throat.

Nick broke the kiss, and he gazed down at you.  Your face was still flushed, and you were doing that same slow-blink you did when you were tired or tipsy.  Maybe you were drunk on him.  The thought made a pulse of blood go straight to his groin.

“This okay?” he asked, his voice rough with desire.  You only nodded at him.  Dazed.  A little stunned.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he muttered, and you tugged him back to you to kiss him again.  You sighed against him and arched your body into his.  He wanted to carry you into the bedroom and put his mouth on every inch of you; he wanted to fuck you against the door until you came apart against him.

Instead, he broke away to kiss the soft skin of your neck, just like he had imagined.  He tried to slow his pace and lay a trail, from the spot below your ear, down your throat where your pulse thudded under his lips, across your shoulder.  He pushed the strap of your dress carefully aside, then kissed the little indent on your skin.

“This okay?” he muttered again against you.  When you whispered “yes,” he reversed the path and repeated it on the other side of you – from the hinge of your jaw down to your sun-kissed shoulder.

Your own hands were moving now.  You shifted one hand to rest between his shoulder blades, and the other hand drifted lower, skimming over his chest and stomach until it circled dangerously close to his erection.  There was a question in your hesitation, though, so he pressed himself forward into your hand, and he groaned thickly as you cupped him through his shorts and stroked him.

It had been so long for him.  Maria had been overseas for a year, and their marriage had crumbled when she returned to the states.  He’d been living with you, and wanting you even longer than that, and here you were now:  your warm body pressed against him, heated by the summer sun and your desire.  Your bare skin under his mouth, the clean scent of you surrounding him.  

Your hand, stroking him.  Tentative at first, then bolder the more he muttered against you between the kisses he was laying on each inch of skin he bared as he pushed the top of your dress lower and lower.  

He was only at the top of your breasts, still hidden under the green cotton of your dress, when he realized with dawning horror that he’d crossed a threshold he hadn’t crossed in a very long time.  He’d blame his long involuntary celibacy later, but now…

“Wait, stop,” he whispered, and you did, but a beat too late.  Nick felt the steadily tightening coil in his belly snap, just like that, and he came with a groan.  Like a goddamned teenaged boy.

You only pulled him into a hug, and you stroked the back of his neck as he shuddered against you and then recovered.  He didn’t want to pull back and look at you – if you laughed at him or were disappointed in him, both options seemed terrible.

You finally pushed him away gently, and your weren’t laughing or disappointed.  The drowsy, stunned look was gone though, and it was replaced by your carefully neutral face.

The one you used when you were trying to hide your real thoughts.

“We shouldn’t have…” you started and trailed off without finishing.

Nick felt his stomach drop.  He messed it up, and he’d barely even had a chance to start.  He felt an irrational flare of anger, the same heat in his gut that bubbled to the surface in harsh words.  He took one look at you – that too-cautious face – and knew what the problem was.  You still loved your husband, the dead Jamie, elevated to sainthood in your mind, probably.  So he told you.

“Yeah, we shouldn’t have,” he retorted.  “Because I can’t compete with a fucking ghost.”

Your careful mask fell, but you didn’t look at him with hurt like he expected.  It was surprise.

He didn’t give you a chance to argue with him.  He saw the situation clearly.  You were never going to want him.  “I’m gonna shower,” he said.  “Then I’m going to my mom’s house.”

He pivoted and went to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.  When he came out after his shower, your bedroom door was shut, so he only packed an overnight bag and left.

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