#Darkling Leader

[pekinaso]

Felt like posting some of my older art from almost 3 years ago. I'll just do it in batches to keep it simple :)

All are OCs for one of my stories. I've had them all for a while, and though I considered changing Pekinaso's name a few times, she's one of my special few OCs and I can't bring myself to do it lol

Batch #1: Pekinaso, Torux, Arix, Darklings, Darkling Leader, Virus Dragon

[greensaplinggrace]

does anybody else think about how all of the darkling’s survival techniques were taught to him by a woman experienced at surviving in a man’s world?

[kittenbradensgf]

sooo funny how a year or so ago i was fervently defending the darkling on here who is truly the staple of a YA villain where the villain isn’t even that wrong and now? well im just a full blown tommy shelby stan. it seems that fiction truly is fiction. evil men will stay evil idk. i still love them. morality is whatever. yes i will defend tommy too wdym he killed innocents and was the worst possible husband imaginable.

[wafflesandkruge]

tgt would have been infinitely funnier if “to bridge the gap between the first and second armies,” mal/zoya were put into an arranged marriage instead of nikolina

[littleladybirdsblog]

“Why do you ship Darklina; it’s such a toxic ship?” 

Ben Barnes and Jessie Mei Li are hot. Next question.

[lingeringscars]

I am a soldier. I am the sun summoner. And I'm the only chance you have.

[kayechanted]

visited grishaverse reddit wow I Don't Think I'll Agree With Almost Everyone regarding shadow and bone

[amsgrey]

Useful Skills

Shadow Summoner! Fem Reader x Kaz Brekker

SPOILERS for Wylans story arc and season two of shadow and bone.

Slow Burn with Kaz because he deserves someone willing to go his pace.

Synopsis: Kaz needs new blood and it comes in the form of Wylan's childhood best friend. A powerful Grisha.

warnings: angst, I did my best to be accurate to Kaz but show Kaz is a little different from Book Kaz so I'm still learning, general angsty crap, and mention of the reader being related to the darkling (trying to make it a little accurate to the books/show)

You had known Wylan Van Eck for almost 8 years, your mother was a maid in his house. You and your mother lived in the servant's quarters on the Van Eck property, meaning you spent almost all your time around him and his family. You never went to a proper school, your mother didn't want you to when you lived in Ravka in case the Grisha testers came. She kept your abilities hidden until you moved to Ketterdam where Grisha testers wouldn't find you.

Your mother died a few years ago, and you left the Van Eck house and found work as a server in a Pub. It was not a job you were happy with but it kept a roof over your head so you would suffer through it for now. You lost touch with Wylan until one day when he entered the pub with three other people.

You almost didn't recognize him, he hadn't grown much from when he was a child but he looked a little more confident. He was sitting against a lanky zemeni boy, exchanging hopelessly smitten glances. Opposite them was a woman dressed in a beautiful gown and a man clad in all black with almost no skin showing. They were in complete contrast to Wylan and the Zemeni boy, sitting as far away from each other as possible.

It was the end of your shift when another server seated them in a booth at the far end of the pub. You knew you had to walk past them to get to the back, where your bag was stored in a small closet away from customers, but walking past meant possibly being recognized.

You hadn't left the Van Eck residence in good faith, having lost your temper at Wylans father for working your mother into the ground and causing her death. When Wylan had tried to speak with you, you had snapped at him and stormed away. Did he hold that against you and would he be hostile? Why was he here of all places?

You tried not to think about it, walking straight passed the table and through the back. You stumbled around the chefs and untied your apron, shoving it in your bag. You took a deep breath before heading back the way you came. You opened the door and stepped out, sidestepping around another waiter serving food at a table close by. As you tried to walk past the table Wylan was seated at, a cane blocked your path.

You stared down at the black cane blocking your path, following it to the gloved hand which held it. You didn't have to remember his name to know who he was.

The man clad in black stared at you, "Y/N, take a seat."

You almost laughed, stopping yourself before offending the bastard of the barrel, "And why would I do that?"

"Because your skills are wasted here."

You would be lying if you weren't interested. But how did Dirtyhands, leader of the Dregs, know what skills you had?

The Zemeni slid over a little more on his side of the booth, dragging Wylan along with him. You hesitantly sat down, avoiding eye contact with Wylan.

"Hi," Wylan squeaked out, offering a shy smile. Your heart melted slightly Wylan was the kindest soul you had ever met. He wouldn't dare hurt a fly and didn't deserve the mistreatment he got from his father.

"Hey,' You replied, feeling any tension resolve. You offered him a smile, watching the anxiety melt away from his face. To further remove any tension, you stole a piece of bread from his plate that sat untouched in front of him. Picking off a piece and eating it casually.

The girl on the opposite side of the booth giggled, following your lead and humming an appreciative sound at the taste.

"So..?" You turned to Brekker, "What is it exactly that you think my skills are?"

Kaz's eyes flickered from you to Wylan next to you, "Wylan tells me you have a unique talent."

You paused your movements, turning to narrow your eyes at Wylan, "Did he just," You grumbled. You had shown Wylan your summoning when you were both 15. He was your best friend and swore he would never tell another soul, he was the only person you knew who wasn't scared of shadow summoning.

Wylan stumbled over his sentence, "I didn't, uh, tell him everything."

Kaz's face morphed into a scowl.

This time you did laugh, "So you came here on a whim?"

Kaz opened his mouth to speak but was beaten by the woman.

"We need your help to break someone out of Hellgate."

Your face gave away your surprise, you had never been anywhere near Hellgate but you knew the stories, "Hellgate? As in the most secure place in Ketterdam?"

"Wylan seems to think you can help us," Kaz said.

You looked at your childhood friend, thinking over the specifics. You just might be able to help but summoning meant exposing yourself and your abilities. The Fold and The Darkling were gone, but how would people react to another shadow summoner?

"So," the Zemeni spoke, his arm draped over Wylans shoulders, "You in?"

Stepping into the Slat for the first time felt strange. You hadn't been in a warm, dry place for years. Finding it now in the middle of the barrel felt counter intuitive. You weren't expecting it, but once you stepped past the threshold you were hit by a wave of warmth.

You were somewhat jealous, your own room in the boarding house was never this warm. And you lived on the outskirts of the barrel and the financial district.

The bottom of the slat held a bar that had seen better days, to say the least. Kaz led the way to another booth, clearly the group's go-to planning table. Maps of Hellgate and various scribbled notes were perched on the wood.

You slipped into the booth and sat next to Nina, who had talked your ear off the whole walk to the Slat about Matthias the (former) Düskelle and love of her life. You didn't mind, enjoying listening to something more upbeat than the drunken rambles of patrons you were used to. Besides, it was clear she was head over heels and you always tried to help out fellow Grisha.

As Kaz went over what he was planning, you listened intently. He had fleshed out almost every part of the plan, but kept on ending up with one key factor.

"We'll be seen."

You shared a glance with Wylan.

"I can help with that."

Kaz quirked an eyebrow, waiting for you to explain further. You were hesitant, they could fear you and kill you on the spot. Or you might have to kill them.

You looked around the room, by now it was so late into the night that even the bars would be closing. There was no one else in the Slat. The last Dregs had crawled in half an hour ago and were nowhere to be seen. It didn't mean anyone couldn't walk in at any time.

Nina could feel your heartbeat grow more erratic, "No one is around." She said, trying to assure you with her small science.

"The Dregs won't interrupt us while we're in here," Kaz spoke, for a second you thought you saw curiosity in his eyes.

"Just-" You took a shaky breath, you hadn't shown anyone your powers since Wylan. Only using them in hiding to avoid growing weak. For the longest time, your mother scolded you for using your powers, teaching you the dangers of summoning anywhere that wasn't in private.

"Never tell anyone," She would mumble, wrapping you in her arms as you both curled up on the small bed in your room in the servants quarters of the Van Eck Mansion, "Your powers are your gifts, but they are your crimes too, Milaya. If anyone finds out they will punish you."

You broke the rules she set out only once, with Wylan. Were you ready to risk your comfortable life for these people you just met?

"It's hard to explain," You leant back against the booth, twisting your fingers nervously, "It's easier to show."

Kaz gestured impatiently, waiting for you to show them.

"Wylan said your Etherealnik," Jesper said flippantly, "We have a heartrender," He gestured loosely to Nina, "A wonderful durast," He grinned and gestured to himself, "About time we add an Etherealnik.”

You smiled, "Well if you're so sure."

You pressed your palms together, pausing for a second and then pulling them apart. Twisting your hands in opposite directions, your fingers moved independently to call the shadows to you. For a fleeting moment, it was like the world was losing colour, and then darkness was gathering around your hands, amassing between your palms.

You heard Nina gasp but ignored her to focus on your shadows. They reached out in tendrils, spreading up your arms as they tried to block the light from you. You pressed your hands back together, and the shadows expanded quickly and overcame the room, plunging space into pitch black. As soon as the darkness overcame the room, you called it off. Returning the room to its usual light.

Once the room was back to what it was before, you glanced around at the faces of the Crows. Wylan had the same impressed smile he had all those years ago, forever in awe of your powers. Nina was staring wide-eyed at the table, a slightly unreadable look on her face. Jesper's jaw was slack, mouth agape and blinking rapidly.

You were surprised to see Kaz wasn't at all shocked. He had the slightest smirk, not an ounce of fear or hesitation on his features.

"Those skills," He said with the same smirk, "are definitely of use."

Getting into the Hellshow hadn't been an issue. You and Nina had gotten on a boat and calmy taken seats towards the back of the crowd. Nina had to keep her face somewhat hidden, deciding on tailoring herself slightly to avoid Pekka's gaze. She had told you briefly about the last time she was here, trying to deliver the pardon Nikolai Lanstov convinced the Kerch government to write. She had been thrown out on Pekkas orders, pardon ignored. She was forced to leave not knowing how Matthias was.

You felt bad for her, it was hard to be separated from those you loved. Not that you ever had anyone other than your mother, but when she died you would have done anything to bring her back.

"So," You turned to Nina, squished up against her to avoid being too close to the drunken men beside you, "What exactly is the hellshow?"

Nina's brow furrowed in disgust, "The prisoners fight for better living conditions, food, a visit from family. It's barbaric."

She was looking over the crowd, eyes filled with silent fury. You followed her gaze to where a bearded man sat surrounded by burly prisoners. She pointed him out, "Rollins." Her voice held a hatred you hadn't thought possible of her.

You had stopped Kaz the night before, asking him what you were thinking again now, "Why don't we just kill this Pekka Rollins?"

Kaz had given you an annoyed look - although almost all of his looks were annoyed. He gave you no answer, but Jesper had filled you in on how Kaz had something personal against Rollins, something about Rollins running a con that lead to his brother's death. The specifics he didn't know. Kaz was a mystery, even to those that he seemed closest with. He seemed to like it that way. In the week it took for you all to plan the heist, you had learnt very few things about the bastard of the barrel.

Almost immediately you noticed how well he kept his thoughts and emotions hidden. At first, you had jokingly declared you would hate to play cards against him and Jesper confirmed he yet to win against his boss. Then you started to admire him, the calculated look in his eyes and the strength he projected made him the force The Barrel knew him as. Every now and again you could see a crack in his resolve. The way a corner of his mouth would quirk up for a fleeting second when Jesper made a particularly terrible joke. The quick flash of a solemn emotion - regret? pain? - when he was accused of being heartless by Nina or Per Haskell.

The other thing you noticed was entirely by mistake. It was obvious how Kaz was never without his gloves, it was the first thing you noticed about him. You didn't need to know why, everyone had their cruxes. You kept your own hidden, you assumed he did too. Then you noticed how he kept himself away from others. He never stood too close or flinched away from others' touch. You noticed it quickly and adjusted, trying to respect his boundaries. To you, it was the least you could do after what he had done for you.

You didn't think the boy had noticed, but he had. Kaz had been interested in your mysterious nature too. You kept hidden well, he hadn't expected you to shadow summon even though Wylan had warned him you were uniquely talented. He had to make assumptions about you, you looked quiet and well-mannered. But he had been surprised to learn you were anything but. You spoke your mind with little regard for manners or etiquette. Kaz grew to admire it. Not many people argued with Dirtyhands, or offered different plans from his own, but you were constantly challenging his ideas and in many ways, making them better.

Kaz couldn't, however, find your crux. It infuriated him, he found himself watching you and trying to learn more. That infuriated him more.

He could see you seated in the bleachers now, but you couldn't see him. He had slipped into the arena unnoticed by Pekkas men, hiding away from their gazes.

The plan was set in motion when Wylan and Jesper made their first move. You and Nina would then find Matthias' cell and Kaz would lead Jesper and Wylan to you. The plan was to break him out of the cells and smuggle him hidden in your darkness. Nina had told you how Matthias had been unlearning Druskelle's ideas, but he still might be hostile towards you. It made you nervous, using your power in public for the first time with the risk of Matthias messing you up. It was a considerable risk. Nina had tried to reassure you she would prevent him from interfering.

There was a far-off rumbling, then a muffled boom. You and Nina pretended to be startled like the other patrons, adding to the panic as fog started to fill the arena. As the crowd panicked and headed for the exits, you subtly summoned your shadows to extinguish the lamps around the room. The darkness drew more panic. You and Nina used it to slip past the crowds and into the hallway leading to the cells.

You almost stabbed Jesper as he came barreling around the corner in his guard's uniform. He reeled back, hands over his chest in surprise as the sudden blade.

"Saints," You swore, pocketing the knife and reaching to steady the boy, "I thought you would be slower."

“Change in plans,” Kaz said with no further explanation, "Wylan's bombs will distract the guards for a time. We need to find the frejdan quickly."

You nodded, resuming your position and following Nina as she searched for Matthias' heart. Occasionally you would clasp your hand around her wrist - a gesture not missed by Kaz. Nina had figured out quickly you were an amplifier, allowing you to help her search more efficiently. She hadn't told anyone else, because she knew what it meant. A shadow summoner who was also an amplifier? It was undisguisable the relation there.

Your group halted at a large bolted door, Nina mumbled out how she was sure Matthias was in a room beyond.

"What about guards?" Wylan spoke quietly, half hidden by Jesper, who had his pistol in hand. Wylan was in a guard's uniform too, but it looked much bigger on him, giving him an almost adolescent look.

Nina paused, "Three."

You turned to Kaz, watching him as ideas turned around in his mind.

"Wait-" Nina spoke again, crossing her hands together, "There's more than just guards."

"How do you mean?' You pressed.

"There are men in the main space," She explained, "Prisoners perhaps?"

"Rollins." Kaz hissed. None of you could know for sure, but it seemed likely. This changed everything, you had all been operating under the assumption that the prisoners were locked in their cells during security breaches. At least, that had been what Kaz's inside source had told.

"Jesper and I should go in," You said, offering a plan before Kaz could, "I can hide us, Jesper can open the door and-"

"No," Kaz interrupted. You were taken aback, he didn't even let you finish.

"Matthias doesn't know you," Nina said desperately, her voice slightly louder than the whispers in which you had all been conversing. "He won't go with you."

You shook your head in frustration, "I can't hide all of us. Even if I could, we don't have a plan.”

"Everyone stop talking," Kaz snapped, his brows pulled together in concentration.

You bit back a smart remark, it wouldn't do any good now anyway.

"Nina, Jesper," Kaz started, "You take Wylan and create a distraction, explosion or whatever." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a watch, gesturing for Wylan to bring out his own, "When the minute clock is on the 8, something big that ensures we can slip out. Then you go back to Ketterdam, as quickly as possible."

That gave you all 25 minutes but meant Nina wouldn't see Matthias. Nina looked disheartened but waited for Kaz to finish.

"Y/N and I will get Helvar. We'll use the distraction to get out, and meet you back at the Slat."

"How will we get Matthias out of a locked cell?" You hissed.

Kaz fished something out of his pocket, opening his palm to show you the small silver lock pick.

"Of course," You sighed dramatically, "I should have known you know how to pick locks."

Kaz gave you an amused smile and a look that read, Do you even know me?

Nina reached up to her neck, unclasping a necklace she always wore, "Give this to Matthias, so he knows you are with me."

You nodded, tucking the necklace in the pocket of your skirt to keep it safe.

Kaz sent the three away but not before Jesper worked his Durast science and unlocked the door.

You turned to Kaz, "I can hide us, block the light, but I can't disguise sound."

Kaz followed your gaze to his cane, nodding once in understanding.

You took a deep breath, it was now or never. Kaz pulled the door open as quietly as possible, watching your face contort in effort as you called shadows to you to surround the both of you.

You turned to Kaz before stepping into the room, "You'll have to stay close."

You didn't wait for his response, just took a dubious step into the room and pressed against the wall. Nina had said Matthias was in the 5th door on the left, but once you had entered you realized just how open the space was.

The fifth door was in the middle of the circular space, the only cover would be from Pillars of stone that held the roof up. You spared a glance at Kaz, who was standing mere centimetres away from you on your back, his cane held firmly in his grasp off the ground. Standing so close to him felt different, you hadn't expected him to be so cold. It was like he was drawing your heat away from you, which you welcomed. You were always too warm, something about the effort of summoning made you overheat easily. Your mother used to say your skin always felt feverish. Now for the first time, you felt balanced.

Kaz felt it too. How heat rolled off of you in waves. Being so close to you warmed him, which seemed impossible. He hadn't felt warmth since he was a boy, since before the Queen Lady’s Plague. You sensed his unease, looking at him and offering the smallest of apologies, your voice so quiet he hardly heard it.

He nodded for you to continue, trying not to get caught up in the feeling of being close to you. You both counted the doors as you inched along, stopping as you reached the fifth door. Kaz slowly bent down, and you spotted a flash of pain as he moved his leg. He faced the lock and started working while you stood beside him watching the courtyard.

Nina was right, there were more than three men in the room. At least eight were seated around a makeshift table, sitting on the table itself was one Pekka Rollins. You could hear the vulgar conversation he was keeping, it made you think about how much Kaz hated him. You startled when there was a soft clang, the noise echoing off the cobble walls. You turned to look at Kaz, who was silently cursing himself and staring at the lockpick resting on the floor.

"What was that?" A rough voice groused.

Rollins climbed up from his seat, he took a few slow steps towards where you were hidden in the shadows. The lanterns on the walls weren't lit, you had made sure to block the one that was nearby on a pillar to avoid any obvious shadows. Rollins was staring into the darkness like he could see you, it made you so nervous you could feel your heart beating out of your chest.

Rollins snatched a lantern from the table, holding it up and taking a few more slow steps. You tried to step back slightly but only nudged Kaz. If he noticed, he didn't react, still working on the lock. As Pekka drew closer, the lock clicked open, allowing Kaz to push the door open. He blindly reached out, grabbing your wrist, pulling you into the cell, and shutting the door behind you as quietly as possible. Almost as quickly as he had held your wrist, he let go, stepping away as you held your palms facing up to draw the shadows back into the room to avoid Rollin's suspicions.

Thankfully, it was only Matthias in the cell. He had stirred from sleep at the sounds of footsteps, when he opened his eyes you stumbled around Kaz to shove your hands over Matthias' mouth to stop any words from coming out. The Frejdan made a disgruntled noise, sleep leaving his eyes and his hands locking onto your wrists with a deathly tight grip.

"You alive in there, Helvar?" Rollin's accent gave way to his chuckle, he kicked the door, causing it to rattle and groan.

You and Kaz stared at Matthias, urging him to keep his mouth shut. With any luck, Pekka would leave and chalk it up to the sleepy groans of a prisoner. You should have known luck was not on your side.

"Helvar," Rollins barked, this time bringing his fist against the door.

You pulled your hands away from the druskelle. Mouthing "Please" to him.

"Leave me be," The Frejdan spoke hoarsely.

Rollins let out an ugly chuckle from the other side of the door but after another few tense moments, you heard footsteps moving away.

You stepped back, accidentally bumping into Kaz in the cramped space. Matthias moved from the cot, fixing you and Kaz with a dirty glare that made you even more nervous.

"Who are you?"

"We're friends of Nina," You tried to explain, beating Kaz to speak because you knew he would only escalate the situation.

Matthias' face turned sourer, within a blink of an eye he was moving. You had no time to react as he grabbed you and pushed you against the wall, his forearm pressing against your throat. He put enough pressure to limit your air, like he was trying to warn you, not to hurt you. You quickly touched your hands together and reached out to summon. Matthias grabbed your wrist and slammed it against the wall. It made a sick crack, pain blooming through your wrist and hand. You let out a string of curses, biting your tongue to avoid being too loud.

Kaz used the crow end of his cane to press against Matthias' neck, "I suggest you let go, Helvar."

Matthias let out a soft growl as he spoke, "Who are you?"

His accent was so pronounced, every word he spoke in Kerch was thick with the Frejdan accent he would never be rid of.

"Friends of Nina," You insisted, "In my left pocket, Nina gave me her necklace."

Matthias loosed his grip slightly, looking from your face to your skirt's pockets. He let go of your wrist, but you daren't move it. He slowly fished out the necklace, holding it up to study the delicate chain. He slowly moved his forearm off of you, stepping back and staring at you with wide eyes.

As soon as he was the step back, you pulled your wrist to your chest. Kaz's eyes flickered from you to the giant Frejdan in the middle of you.

"Can you..?"

You shook your head, "Maybe," you pulled your wrist away from your chest and flexed your fingers. Pain shot up your arm, causing your face to twist in a grimace.

"You are..." Matthias paused, "...Grisha."

You nodded, "I was our ticket out of here."

Kaz scowled at the Frejdan, something about his look made you think he might leave the Drüskelle here after all.

"I'll make it work," You said, pushing the pain to the back of your mind to continue with the job.

Kaz looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't. He tried to move over as much as he could letting you shuffle past and stand in front of the door.

You turned to look at the druskelle, "Don't make any noises, they will hear it."

Matthias' brows pinched together, he looked to Kaz for an explanation but the boy just ordered him to stay close.

You took a deep breath, forcing your broken hand to open so that you could summon. Moving your fingers was hard, they were reluctant to dance like usual when you summoned. You pressed past it, drawing the shadows to conceal your group, opening the door slowly and sneaking out. Kaz and Matthias stayed close behind you, following you all around the room back to the exit. As you solely opened the door, a far-off bell started to sound.

"Jesper," Kaz said quietly.

You nodded, quietly slipping into the corridor and ushering Kaz and Matthias in too. You dropped the shadows once the door closed, ignoring the incredulous stare Matthias was giving you. Kaz led the way back through the corridors and winding hallways, leaning heavily on his cane as he walked. You knew that the time he had spent off it must have caused him pain, you felt bad that the plan had gone so terribly wrong.

Kaz seemed to always have a backup plan because he led you and Matthias out of Helgate like a man on a mission. You stumbled along behind him, keeping your wrist held to your chest. Kaz led you and Matthias down a stairway, the door at the end lead into the night air. You were surprised to find a small balcony, a rotten wooden platform perched on the rocks. The saltwater had eroded away the wood on the front, making it creak and flake dangerously under your feet. Kaz made quick work of slipping down the platform and onto the rocks, he pressed his palm against the wall to steady himself. He turned back to you and Matthias waiting impatiently for you both to follow him. Matthias went first, stepping down easily, making the drop look like a small step. You tried to step down with some sense of balance, but your foot found a slippery rock and you tripped forward. You hit into Kaz, who steadied you with a hand to your bad arm. You hissed and recoiled, watching Kaz's face change.

"Sorry," You whispered, noticing how he swallowed thickly, panic barely contained in his eyes.

Kaz took a moment, looking at your genuine expression. He knew that you knew, but you made no move to ask about it his weakness. For that, he was grateful.

Kaz pushed out of his haunted thoughts, turning and leading the way across the rocks and around the outside of Hellgate. You had been walking for ten minutes when the rocks started to mix with chunks of rubble. Walking on the rocks with the rubble moving underneath your feet became harder. You all slowed down and clung to the wall for the extra support it gave.

"Saints," You murmured when you came across the gaping hole in the wall made by Wylans explosives.

"Wylan knows what he's doing," Kaz quipped, slight amusement in his tone.

It took your small group at least two hours to get back to the Slat. The majority of that time was spent in a tiny row boat getting sloshed by freezing water. You were sat next to Kaz while Matthias rowed, you had offered your help but he had huffed in Frejdan something that seemed like 'I can do it myself'.

By the time you all had entered the Slat, there had been no one on the streets and you were freezing. Matthias seemed to be dealing with the cold best, no doubt his childhood in the icy Frejda had trained him well. You and Kaz were shivering as you stumbled along, all of you were damp from your trip on the sea. Your skirts were soaked, making them heavier and heavier as you walked.

Stepping into the Slat would usually warm you up, but this time it didn't. You could see Wylan and Jesper sitting at the bar, watching Nina pace up and down. They all snapped to look at you when the door slammed shut behind you. Nina let out a tiny squeal, running and throwing herself into Matthias' arms. You and Kaz looked on briefly before stumbling further into the room.

"Saints," Jesper looked both of you up and down, "We thought maybe you'd died."

You let out a chuckle, "You can't kill weeds."

Kaz looked at you surprised and you offered him a smile.

"What happened?" Wylan asked, watching Nina and Matthias approach arm in arm.

Kaz fixed Matthias with a glare, "Your oaf broke Y/N's wrist."

Nina looked from Matthias to you, then stepped forward to assess your wrist. You offered her your hand without complaint, letting her heal it the little she could.

"It was a mistake," You defended Matthias, mostly from Kaz's dark stare.

Later that night, which had turned more to early morning, you sought out Kaz in his room. You had changed into dry clothes, your wrist wrapped to keep it steady until morning when you would find a healer. You walked up to Kaz's door, then hesitated. What if he was asleep?

You knocked anyway, gently so as to not startle him.

"Yes?"

You pushed the door open, stepping into the room slightly. Kaz didn't even turn from his perch at his desk to look at you.

"I- uh," Your voice came out much quieter than you were expecting, almost sounding broken.

Kaz stopped scribbling on the paper on front of him.

"I just wanted to ask," You spoke clearer this time, "If you were okay?"

Kaz turned to look at you this time, surprised. After a few days with the bastard of the barrel, you had gotten better at reading his subtle emotions. Even the ones he tried to hide deep in his eyes. Like the anxiety when you touched him, or again on the boat.

Kaz didn't answer, he didn't have to.

"You don't have to answer," You said after a moment of silence passed, "Everyone has their..." You searched for the right word.

"Weaknesses," Kaz said.

"Weaknesses." You agreed.

You took a small step forward, testing the waters. Kaz didn't tell you to back off or look fearful.

"We all have them," You continued.

Kaz nodded once, "And you?"

You smiled, "Dirtyhands doesn't know?"

Kaz looked away and sighed in exasperation.

You stepped closer, approaching the desk, "It's this."

You summoned your shadows, forming them into a small tangled shape in your palm. The shadows reached up your arm, trying to tangle their way around you. You dismissed them, staring at the empty space above your palm.

Kaz thought about how wrong you were.

"If you ever need to share," You took a step back, "I'll be here."

You left him at his desk, exiting the room and closing the door behind you. Maybe it would take some time, but you were willing to wait if it meant becoming someone Kaz Brekker could rely on.

[padfootagain]

Hold My Hand Instead of His

Hello everyone!! We're answering a request for my event today!

Here is the first request coming from two anons, actually, who have requested the same tropes: “Hiya! Can I request The Darkling Soulmate AU with an arranged marriage trope? But the reader is meant to get married to someone else? Can have a little bit of jealousy if you wish. Either that or enemies to lovers you choose” and “Hi carooole!!! Congrats for 6k!! I'm so happy when I see you on my TL again i've been following you since 2020 aaaa

I would like to request The Darkling, Soulmates AU and Arranged Marriage please !🫶

I hope you're having a good day and congratulations again <3”

I love this idea of an arranged marriage with someone else ifoeofueuojeji that’s amazing. I hope you like what I’ve written for your request, anon! <3

Hope you all like this. Tell me what you think!

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Pairing: The Darkling x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff; I’m distorting canon rules of Grisha magic to apply to a Soulmate AU I hope you like it

Summary: You are engaged to the Prince of Ravka, through an arranged marriage, in order to pacify relations between Grisha and otkazat’sya. The issue: Nikolai Lantsov is not your soulmate, and you are torn between duty and love.

Word Count: 3554

The Darkling’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

What could happen if the world were to be devoured by shadows?

Sometimes, as you laid down at night, staring at the shining stars and moon, you asked yourself this question. Would it be the end? The beginning? The continuation? Would anything change?

You felt a little too lost in your life these days to be afraid of the shadows, of the blindness they carried. If you were so lost, weren’t you alone already?

Besides, these were his shadows. If anyone else could fear the dark because it was his, you felt the opposite.

Your gaze turned from the window to the door on the opposite wall. Why were you chosen to marry the prince anyway? Granted, you were a powerful Grisha, but there were others who could have done it, why did it have to be you?

You knew that Nikolai Lantsov was not your soulmate. There was no wonder about it. As a Grisha, your soulmate would be easy to detect: a simple touch and your powers would be amplified. A surge of power matching the rush of a heart. You had touched the prince before, had felt nothing. It wasn’t him…

Actually, you knew who was your soulmate. You had touched him once, without meaning to. While he was asleep, after a long day spent on a battlefield. You can see it all over again: the dry blood still tainting his forehead, the quiet of his breathing, the calmness on his features. He seemed so innocent then, so different from the man who had used his shadows against the world mere hours before. You remember as well the water you had been carrying to his tent, the reason for your presence in the first place. Because of course, you were a powerful Grisha, but he was The Darkling, a general, a leader, unreachable. You remember, though, the light shiver that shook his frame, the blanket that had fallen from his chest during his sleep. To this day, you didn’t know what had come over you that night, putting down your bucket of cold water, gently holding the blanket to cover his long frame once more. And it was an accident, really, a mere miscalculation of trajectory, when you brushed your fingers against his. And you remember the surge of power shaking your entire frame, making it hard to breathe, igniting every cell in your body. The sudden knowledge of your powers beating in your muscles at the same rhythm as your heartbeat. It was so strong, you could barely control your powers enough to not burn him, feeling flames surging to your hands. You were certain that the warmth escaping through every inch of your skin was warming the entire room. It felt like you could have burned the entire world…

It had taken you a long time to finally accept the truth that was revealed that night: the Darkling was your soulmate. Amplifying abilities could only happen between people bound by true love and fate alike, and that cold night spent on the verge of Fjerda, you had revealed an unbelieving truth. The Darkling was your soulmate. Your one true love.

Even now, you contemplated this fact with a tinge of bitterness. He was the Darkling, and you… it would be absolutely impossible for the two of you to be together. Now more than ever. You had been chosen to marry the prince of Ravka, it would strengthen the Grisha, protect them… you had worked hard to protect your people, you couldn’t abandon them simply because you were being a silly romantic. This wasn’t about love. This was about duty and the need of your people. Besides, it could have been worse. Nikolai wasn’t a bad man, marrying his brother would have been much closer to martyrdom.

These were the words you repeated yourself over and over again, every night since the announcement. And they were sensible and logical, but they did not prevent the aching in your chest, the tears at the corners of your eyes, or the urge to run across the Little Palace to the Darkling’s War Room to tell him the truth and beg him to take you away…

You closed your eyes, the world even darker than before. Against your eyelids, you painted his tall frame wrapped in his shadows, the dark of his infinite eyes, the sot beard on his cheeks. It was useless though, and terribly childish.

After all, how could the Darkling do anything against your union with Nikolai Lantsov? He didn’t even know you were his soulmate…

You didn’t know that he was your soulmate, and it was slowly killing him.

The Darkling looked at you now, dressed in the finest silk the kingdom of Ravka could offer. Your hand resting on Nikolai Lantsov’s arm, gloved in white fabric. He was showing you off, the bastard. He was playing his part in this political plot a little too well, took too much pleasure in parading with you by his side. And you were so unlike your true self. Too pliant, too obedient, smiling too politely. But Aleksander knew who you could be, this other side of you. The one covered with blood, the one burning like the flames ignited by your fingers and palms.

The Darkling was being ridiculous, and he knew it. He had worked too hard to reach this position, over the long hours of centuries, he had crafted his myth, his image, his power, his influence. And Nikolai Lantsov marrying a Grisha was a central part of his plot, it was vital, actually. It was a new step towards the throne…

But you… why did it have to be you?

He was being ridiculous, and he knew it. He had abandoned the idea of an everlasting love such a long time ago. Centuries ago. He had built an armour around his heart, he had grown as ruthless as his shadows, he had grown too determined to be drawn off-course by sentiments.

And yet, as he looked at you now, at the way you leaned against another man, he wanted to destroy the entirety of Ravka and the world beyond too, if need be. He wanted to tear the fabrics of the universe apart, and scream against the night sky.

The Darkling was selfish, and he knew it. And yet, his selfishness was always directed towards the same goal he had been pursuing for centuries, for lifetimes… he could not simply yield now. Of course he wanted you, you were connected by a power stronger than the Small Science he used as weapons and shields. Still… still he couldn’t simply yield, it would ruin everything.

Aleksander remembers, though. He remembers that afternoon, the clouds of smoke rising from the broken earth, the screams, the irony taste of blood in the air. He remembers looking for you, though he didn’t know why his instinct made him look for your frame across the battlefield. And yet, every fibre of his being was screaming at him to find you. He remembers the beating of his heart and his shallow breathing, the pain of his own wounds making his head spin. He remembers catching the colour of your hair there, lying in the dirt, his gaze moving to your closed eyelids… He remembers the sudden fear that shook him, even though he didn’t know why he felt that way. Because you were, of course, a powerful Inferni, he suspected that you were unusually gifted, and yet… you were just a soldier. Why was he so upset? He had seen thousands of people dying, thousands of his soldiers falling… why was it so different now? He remembers the way he had stumbled as he rushed to your side, falling by your side more than kneeling. Your still frame, your peaceful expression, you looked like you were merely asleep. He remembers too well the slow movement of his own fingers towards your throat, pressing against your pulse to feel your heart, and the surge of power that coursed through his frame, ignited his blood, sparkling every cell of his body. Such an overcoming beating of power in his heart, he didn’t control the shadows that sprang from his frame, that gathered from all around the two of you to cover both of your frames. He didn’t control it. He knew at once what it meant though. And his shadows pulsed, at the same rhythm as his own heart and, as he noticed your pulse, as your heart as well.

Two hearts. One heartbeat. Soulmates…

Aleksander looked away, focusing his dark eyes on the drink in his hands instead of your frame. This surge of power he had felt, unbearable, uncontrollable, too wild to be tamed… he knew what it meant, of course. When he was young, and naïve, and stupid, he had spent long decades looking for it. The reason of his failure then was obvious now. You did not exist yet, you were born centuries apart… how cruel the world could be, making him wait for so long, only to snatch you away…

The Darkling was being ridiculous, utterly ridiculous. For longing for you so much it hurt, for seriously considering walking over to you and lie about a need to see you alone, and kiss you in the safety of his shadows, with your back pressed against a wall and your skin under his palms…

But was he so ridiculous? He couldn’t help it, after all. If fate itself had weaved your two lives, your two souls together, how could he simply ignore it?

He could have laughed at himself for being naïve all over again, a boy who longed for a fairer world. Fairness didn’t exist, it wasn’t in human nature. Marriages had little to do with love at all when they involved the royal family. It was about politics, not sentiments.

But then, why did Aleksander felt your numb body in his arms all over again, the weight of your unconsciousness resting on his forearms as he carried you to safety that afternoon, the shallow warmth of your breath against his neck, as you turned to him and looked at him from across the crowd, catching his gaze with ease?

But then, why did he want nothing but to leave everything behind now, everything he had worked so hard on and had lost so much of his own self to reach, at the mere hope of running away with you?

But you didn’t know he was your soulmate. You were unconscious then, when he had touched your skin, you couldn’t feel the amplification held in his bones for you.

He turned around, his back to you now to relieve the temptation to stare at you for too long. The Darkling was patient, but Aleksander was selfish. Would he hold on, or tell you the truth?

The answer came with the breeze of spring and a kiss stolen by the lake.

It came from you, actually. From the feeling of warm lips against yours, and hands on your cheeks, and the sudden knowledge of a truth you had been pushing away out of duty.

You couldn’t do this.

You pulled away quickly, leaving a rather stunned Nikolai Lantsov behind. You didn’t look at him as you spun on your heels, as you ran away across the grass and towards the Little Palace. You didn’t look back as you spotted the Darkling there, under the trees, speaking with Ivan. You were crying, you realised it only because it made their frame a little blur. Still, you aimed straight for the Darkling, who frowned at the sight of you. He dismissed Ivan with a mere gesture of the hand, and walked towards you.

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

You wanted to rush into his arms, but didn’t dare to. Because he didn’t know you were his soulmate, and would notice if you touched his skin…

You were surprised when he held your upper-arm to steady you, though. But he was touching the fabric of your dress, you couldn’t feel the bond between the two of you…

“Y/N, what happened?”

You took a couple of deep breaths. You were being utterly ridiculous. You had fought battles, had killed people, had buried friends… this was a mere kiss, why did it upset you so much?

When you looked up at the Darkling, his expression was unreadable, a perfectly calm demeanour. There was but the ghost of a frown to show that he cared.

Did he care though? He didn’t know…

You couldn’t hold it back any longer. You had to tell him. Because he would probably push you away anyway, remind you of your duty towards Ravka, towards your fellow Grisha, and break your heart for good. And then, perhaps you could accept your arranged marriage with the prince…

“I can’t do it,” you let out in a breath, shaking your head. “I am sorry, but I cannot do it. I can’t marry Lantsov.”

The Darkling’s frown deepened, he leaned a little closer, his eyes searching yours, digging their way into your mind and heart until he could peer right into your soul.

“Did he hurt you? What happened?”

“He didn’t hurt me, he…”

You took a shaky breath, closed your eyes tightly for a moment, trying to release the words and hold back a sob.

“He kissed me.”

When you opened your eyes again, fell back into the gaze as dark as the shadows they summoned, you couldn’t read through them. Aleksander had clenched his jaw, but he was still as unreadable as ever.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do it… I can’t marry him…”

“Y/N, calm down. This is important.”

“I have a soulmate.”

His lips parted slightly, but he remained silent, frozen in expectation. His hold on your arm tightened, it was the only movement he made until you spoke again.

You wondered where your strength came from as you finally confessed the truth, you didn’t think you had it in you. Even if your voice was but a weak whisper, the words were let out, audible and clear, lifting a heavy weight from your shoulders and heart.

“It’s you. You’re my soulmate.”

You shook your head, eyes begging for forgiveness, even if none of this was your fault in the first place.

“I’m sorry. I… one day I touched you without meaning to while you slept, just… just your finger and… I felt it. The amplifying. And I… I didn’t tell you, because I know that you are focused on your task concerning Ravka, that this is not your priority, that you probably don’t even care but… You’re my soulmate. And I can’t marry another man, I simply can’t. I’ll fight as hard as I can, I’ll risk my life, I’ll kill and do whatever needs to be done, but as a soldier. Please… please, help me. Help me not marry him. I cannot marry someone else when I love you so deeply. I am not asking for anything else, I simply…”

Your voice died down as his hold on your kefta tightened, becoming almost painful, the hold unforgiving.

His stare was even more intense now, if that was even possible. You read hesitation in them, something you had never seen before on him…

His eyes fell from your gaze to your mouth, intense and holding you hostage, making your heart jump and crash against your ribcage. When his eyes flickered back to rest on yours, he was out of breath as he spoke.

“I know.”

You could only stare at him, stunned. You could feel your heart shattering…

“Do you remember when you were wounded in the South? About a year ago?”

Slowly, you nodded.

“I am the one who found you, unconscious, lying among the dead. I checked your pulse.”

“Oh…”

The ghost of an amused smile tugged at his lips.

“’Oh’, indeed.”

Slowly, you nodded. Because he knew, and yet he had done nothing to prevent this marriage.

“I thought you didn’t know,” he went on. “I thought it was better that way.”

“Because I must marry Nikolai to help the Grisha?”

But he was too earnest in his answer, his hand slowly rising to your cheek, but he didn’t touch you. Instead, he let his hand hover over your face, close enough to feel the heat of your skin, but still away, unbearably so.

“Because I do not want to have weaknesses. And loving you would turn you into a weakness.”

Again, you nodded, although you were more lost than ever.

“I can’t marry Nikolai,” you breathed again, the tears coming back into your eyes.

“If you do not, Ravka will be endangered, and Grisha more than anyone else.”

You looked down at your feet, the weight of duty too heavy on your shoulders now, despite the strength in them, the endurance of a soldier.

Aleksander could not bear the sight. Beyond duty, your frame was crushed by another burden he knew only too well, after carrying it for so many centuries.

Loneliness…

If he caved in, you would never have to be alone again, and neither would he…

Slowly, he closed the space between your two skins, his hand coming to rest on your cheek, guiding gently your face upward to look at him again. And the power that coursed through your bodies now was so intense, so overwhelming, that you couldn’t help the flames that sparked in the air all around you, and he couldn’t master the shadows that twirled around your frames. Fire and darkness mingled in a whirlwind that covered the world, made you escape from it. It was a strange dance on your features, the burning lights of flames dancing with his shadows in your eyes…

The decision was easy to make.

He leaned down before you could move, or speak, or master your powers again. Only when his lips moved over yours, when you lost yourself in his touch, when he melted under your palms and pressed himself against you, did your powers calm down. You felt the warmth of the sun against your face instead of the heat of flames, the constant light of the distant star painting your eyelids red instead of the unsteady black of his twirling shadows. And there was no thought left to be thought, no breath to be drawn, no duty to cave under. Instead, there was the passion of Aleksander’s kiss, the gentle tug of your fingers on his hair, the tingle of his beard against your soft skin. There was nothing in the world but the two of you, feelings overwhelming, and at the back of your mind, still, the knowledge of immense power waiting to be freed.

When you broke apart, both of you out of breath, Aleksander pulled away just enough to look at you again, to capture your gaze with his, making your heart stutter all over again.

“Do not marry him.”

You stopped breathing altogether as the words passed his lips. He slowly shook his head. His hold on your face tightened a little, he moved a little closer, and his voice was dangerously tempting, almost begging, when he spoke again.

“I can take care of this,” he assured you, his tone sounding like a promise. “I can make him back down. We are soulmates, this is our right…”

“But what about Grisha…”

“Lantsov can marry someone else. He chose you because he had a crush on you, he will get over it and choose someone else.”

“Do you really mean that?”

He smiled.

“We are soulmates. Do you not know the answer already?”

And as you stared at him for a little longer, you did. You knew he meant it. You could see it in his dark eyes, in the tension of his jaw, feel it in the way he held you a little too tight, a little too close, a tinge of desperation searing cracks through his perfect composure.

One of his hands let go of you, and he offered it, palm up and open, an offering of weakness and vulnerability.

“Choose me,” he demanded in a breathy whisper. “I’ll manage Lantsov, I’ll get you out of this marriage. We could be together. We can fight. Choose me. Hold my hand instead of his. Share your heart with me, not with him. Y/N…”

He fell silent as you took his hand, as you pulled him down to kiss him again, passionate and breathtaking.

He smiled into the kiss, he couldn’t help it. Because of your lips against his, because of the love you shared, because of the relief coursing through his entire frame after finally surrendering to the feelings he had held back for months, because of the shushing of its constant loneliness under your palms, because of the power you released into his body by a simple caress…

Aleksander was selfish, after all, and he would have you, if you chose him. He would do without this alliance with the Lantsov family. He didn’t need it. Instead of political leverage, you were now offering a power of his own.

He broke the kiss, held you close to him, rested his lips against your hair. Yes, he would have you. And if need be, he’d take the light out of this entire world, while you burned it to the ground.

[spideymichelle]

me explaining through my tears that zoya's and the darkling's dynamic goes way deeper (in the books) and it says a lot about zoya's relationship with authority and power but also safety as a whole because of the (almost) parental nature of their relationship like the darkling is already playing favorites with her by the time she is 13

they are close enough for him to pick her over a lot of the older grisha's at the little palace for the possibility of getting an amplifier something we know is so special and not something just anyone could have yet he gave zoya that opportunity and when she felt like she failed him for protecting and releasing the cubs it broke her in a million pieces because she doesn't want to disappoint him

the darkling represented grisha's as a whole. he was their leader, their protector in a world that hates them and wants them eradicated, for a power they were born with. it is the way the little palace was meant to be a sanctuary for grisha's to feel safe, a place where zoya felt safe, yet it was the darkling was the first to completely destroy it and kill any grisha that wasn't on his side he was their biggest protector and he killed them in cold blood like that absolute betrayal

it wasn't just about her losing her aunt, he took away her home, the home she made with her aunt and lada and the one she made at the little palace the friends she made he took everything from her because she believed him when he said they would change the world together like she put so much trust in him, she gave him her power and he broke it so easily that wound just festered on because the darkling betrayed her just like her mother did in the past

and it just parallels the darkling with her mother so well because as a young child just wanted to make her mother happy which meant getting the highest grades, eating only half her meals so her mother could eat the rest, and stealing fruit from the duke's garden so her mother could eat them something she could get severely punished for by the duke zoya a young commoner girl who is from suli descent like she could have died but her mother never stopped her from taking them again and again and didn't her mother truly never saw her other than a pretty face that she could capitalize out of

zoya didn't make a sound on her wedding, didn't cry a single tear on her wedding, and never spoke out because she couldn't bear making her mother angry until the only person who ever spoke up for her was her aunt who almost beat to death for speaking up for her and even then could only be spent little over 2 months with her (mostly on the streets) before being separated for the next 7 years when she first goes back when she is 16. (they did write to each other)

the only adult that "cares" for her was the darkling he had continuous access to her, to groom her, to make her his perfect little girl. she is so desperate to impress him, to be around him, to be noticed, and worst of all he does. he gives her privileges, the important missions and she gets to ride his coach with him like he makes it known and clear that she is special, unlike her mother he gives her the attention she wants. but it doesn't really mean anything to him

he has no issue switching her out with alina sending her faraway as a punishment just like her mother had no issue selling her to a man old enough to have grandchildren of her age

zoya being stuck in a vicious cycle of being abused by people who should be protecting her

and it just speaks volumes that is zoya is the one who advocates for the darkling's victims because if she doesn't speak for alina, genya, liliyana and baghra who will

it speaks to her relationship with nina, her worries, her concerns about her, i wonder if all she sees is a beautiful and powerful girl with a deep love for her country with no support, no family i wonder if she sees herself so desperately trying to prove herself to the world

basically zoya co-wrote would've, could've, should've

*will be edited after i had a good night of rest and crack open the books again

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

I already did something a bit like this for Jesper, I didn’t think we’d have to be back here again but here we go:

NINA ZENIK IS NOT JUST COMEDIC RELIEF.

Spoilers for the whole series ahead, also warning for discussing Nina’s trauma (and a bit of Matthias’ as well but not in much detail)

Nina has no recollection of what her life looked like before she taken from her home at about 3 and raised in the military of an abusive government to become a child soldier under a compulsory draft for all Grisha in Ravka. When she was around fourteen Nina and a group of other children also being raised to be child soldiers were abducted by the Darkling and held captive at Keramzin, where we know little of what they underwent. This abusive government had so greatly manipulated Nina that by the time she was rescued and the compulsory draft against her people was lifted, her patriotism had become so intense that she begged (remember she was still a child at this time) to be sent on military missions where she would convince other Grisha to join the army. And on one of these missions, when Nina was sixteen, she was taken captive by Drüskelle; by an order of Witch-hunters purposefully constructed for the destruction of her people. And so terrified of implicating and endangering her compatriots she was, Nina did not cry for help.

Nina was held in a cage beneath the deck of a ship with several other Grisha, presumably for a minimum of two weeks, and treated like an animal. During those two weeks the Grisha on the ship were rarely fed, were rarely given access to clean water (Nina begging Matthias to bring them water ends up being what saved her life), were given nowhere to relieve themselves, underwent theats, violence, and dehumanisation, and travelled that entire time with the knowledge that when they reached their destination they would be put on trial and sentenced to death. Almost upon their arrival to Fjerda, the ship feel victim to a massive storm. If it weren’t for the jagged edge of the cup Matthias had given her that Nina used to cut through her bonds, she would have drowned to death in a cage. As it was, she was one of two survivors from the entire vessel and her singular companion was a Drüskelle. Nina and Matthias had to rely on each other, on someone part of the very thing they each identified as their abuser, not only to swim to shore, but to survive for weeks on end afterwards as they travelled across the ice. And in that time, Nina was able to find something in Matthias that she thought was impossible.

Matthias was like her. Matthias had gone through something so similar, and yet so horrifyingly different to her, and where Nina had come to hate and fear his people out of necessity he had come to hate and fear hers through the death of his family followed by years of manipulation and abuse at the hands of his government as it raised him to become a child soldier. And Nina and Matthias were able to look at each other, at 16 and 17 in the most horrendous hellish experience they could have fathomed, and learn who each other truly were. And they knew it would be harder for Matthias, they knew the things he had done - even though he admitted to himself he had never wanted to do them - were going to be so much harder to accept and to unlearn and to move away from. But they had a chance.

And then Nina, believing she had no other options left when Grisha were threatening to kill Matthias, betrayed him - and in doing so, she knew full well, was forced to betray herself. She fought for his freedom for a year, staying in Kerch when she could have just gone home, endangering her life and getting herself in debt to a gang leader in her attempts to save him, knowing all the while that Matthias would not forgive her and would, she now believed, never have the chance to undo all the hatred that had been forged upon him and learn to be the boy he could have been without the abuse of Jarl Brum. And when she finally managed to help him escape, the first thing he did was try to choke her to death.

Nina, now 17, travelled back not just to the country she was to be killed in and that she was shipwrecked and stranded in, but to the very place where her death sentence would have been held: The Ice Court. She was part of the crew that broke in and out of the most fortified prison in the world, and whilst she was there she learnt the Drüskelle leader, who had killed hundreds of her people and abused Matthias for years on end, whom she believed had drowned on the shipwreck a year ago was not only still alive but had also begun to experiment on her people with an impossibly addictive and life-endangering drug to use them as slaves in his army - in his words “these creatures were made to be weapons”. Only minutes after learning this she believes Matthias has betrayed her and that she will be the next victim of the drug, only for him to attack Jarl Brum, save her life, and vow that he will do everything in his power to learn how to change, and that he will protect her for the rest of their lives.

But upon their escape of the Ice Court, Nina (still seventeen) realised that she and her friends were trapped by the Drüskelle and had no options left but to be taken captive and/or killed (I’m mostly putting the and/or there for Kuwei, I expect the others would’ve been killed where they stood). So Nina turned around and took the drug, unbelievably addictive and life-endangering after a single exposure, so that she would have enough power to save her friends’ lives. She spent the following weeks/months horrendously ill, battled addiction for months on end following it, suffered the fear of her closest friend being kidnapped and knowing she was unable to help, and for long periods of time basically waiting for the drug to kill her. Nina survived, but then she had new problems to contend with. She found that the drug had altered her Grisha power, something not only that she had defined herself by her entire life but also what she had been taught was why she was valued. Nina felt that she was no longer part of the world she grew up in and relied upon, but over time as Matthias unlearned everything he’d been through and began to plan to change a nation’s thinking, Nina learned to accept, use, and love her newfound power.

They had such a chance, they had so much ahead of them, they could have done so much together. And then Matthias was shot and killed by a Drüskelle child soldier (I think he was 14?) who was being manipulated and abused the same way he once was whilst Matthias tried to convince him to change his mind, and then he died in Nina’s arms. Matthias was 18. Nina was 17.

NINA IS IN FOUR BOOKS. WHAT I’VE SAID SO FAR IS ONLY FROM TWO OF THEM.

It has been a long time since I read KoS/RoW and also I’ve been going on for way too long so this is going to be in a nutshell but here we go: Nina was sent on another mission to Fjerda by the Ravkan government, to give her the opportunity to bury Matthias at home and to gather intelligence on the country. She begins to develop feelings for Hanne, a Grisha heartrender hiding their abilities in order to survive, only to discover that Hanne is JARL BRUM’S CHILD. She meets the Drüskelle who killed Matthias and endangers herself on a daily basis living with the Brum family hiding who she really is. And as the situation only gets more and more complicated and the intelligence she’s gathering only starts running deeper and deeper, Nina ends up stuck with the Fjerdan government IN the Ice Court, hiding who she is and her abilities, alongside Hanne doing the same, FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE.

And yet through everything Nina continues to be unbelievably strong, in every sense of the word, she is compassionate and wonderful and brave and yes, she’s quick-witted and flirty and she loves a good joke but that isn’t all she is, that’s a testament to her ability to maintain herself and her core of who she is after going through so much.

PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU, STOP REDUCING NINA ZENIK TO COMEDIC RELIEF. NINA IS FUNNY AND FLIRTY AND SHE LOVES JOKES, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT’S ALL SHE IS

[dearmantis]

Huff n Puff

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/The Darkling x Reader

Summary: After faking your death half a century ago you finally return to the Little Palace after hearing of the Darklings passing. You did not expect to see a familiar face when the new General arrives.

Warnings: period typical slut-shaming, outdated opinions on peoples sex lives, talks of loosing virginity (nothing explicit), faking death, a bit survivors guilt(?), implied smut (is that the right warning when it's a fade to black?)

Word Count: 3k

Authors' Note: I'm taking great liberties with canon again because I don't think the books ever went into detail about how Aleksander fakes his death and comes back all the time. Also I still can't write to save my life, I'm not a native English speaker and this is barely edited, what else is new.

When the new Darkling arrives at the Little Palace, you're on a mission to accompany a ravkan dutchess and her grisha husband on their travels back to Os Alta after spending a few weeks in her husbands hometown. You're disappointed to not be able to see something so rare and special — a once in a lifetime event like a total eclipse, like one of your team mates said — but you try to not be too upset about it.

The dutchess and her husband are quite sweet to you and your team, and the mission is simple enough. Nobody gets hurt, and the travel back home to Os Alta is comfortable enough considering the cold, snowy weather.

It's easier for you to get over the circumstances than for the other three in your team, of course. If you're smart, you will be able to see and meet many new Darklings over the next few centuries while they won't get the chance, so you don't judge them for being in a worse mood than usual. They should be in the palace, celebrating the arrival of the new general and drinking alcohol until they can't stand on their own feet anymore, instead of a two days ride away from the party, grilling some skinny rabbits on a fire or trying to remove the deep, thick snow from the campsite.

When it's finally time to eat you fill the silence with a story about your time before you joined the Little Palace, twisting the tale a bit to make it seem like you were a teen during the events.

It's odd to lie about who you are, but you can't risk too many similarities between this life and your last, so you form a tale about escaping Ketterdam after realising that a local gang found out about your Grisha powers and started to target you.

You're still considered a newer recruit in the Little Palace, and you haven't been able to make many friends since you arrived as an adult and not as a child like the others. The Grisha listen to your words excitedly, eager to find out more about their mysterious companion, and you're happy to oblige, weaving an encouraging story about your childhood in Ketterdam, training yourself in secret, and finding the power to fight for your freedom after hearing so many tales of the heroism of the Second Army.

When you're finished, the fire is starting to die, darkness creeping in from the forrest, and one of your fellow soldiers stands up to get more wood. The dutchess and her husband thank you for joining the ravkan army, tears in the young womans eyes, clearly touched by your bravery, and your team leader – Inessa, an older heartrender – tightly hugs you a few minutes later, telling you how proud she is of you.

You don't feel bad for lying. It has to be done for your own savety, and it makes sense for you to open up to your teammates during your first longer mission. This was a calculated decision, and it has only lightened the mood a bit, lifting some of the sadness from your fellow soldiers' shoulders.

Well and you did almost get murdered an kidnapped a few times during your travels in Ketterdam during the fifty year break you spend away from the Little Palace after faking your death. You were just in your seventies during that time, not a teenager, but who cares about details like that?

After your little storytime at the fire you open up more and more during the last two days of your travels to Os Alta, playing the role of the young soldier who finally feels like the Little Palace might become a home, like the other Grisha might actually turn into one big family, and for a second you wish that was truly the case. That you're actually just some runaway from Ketterdam, not an almost a century old Grisha who doesn't know why time hasn't claimed your body yet.

During your trip back, your fellow soldiers also theorise a bit. What is the general gonna be like? How will he compare to General Golubev, the Heartrender who took on the position after the last Darkling left the Little Palace to find a wife and continue the Darkling-bloodline in savety?

You have to bite your tongue and remind yourself that you're no older than 23 to these people. To them you are too young to know the General. He left the Palace forty years ago. Even Inessa barely remembers him from her teens, only saying that he was a beautiful man and could be very scary.

Karina, an Inferni in your group, tries to dig deeper, asking how pretty he truly is in so many different ways that Inessa ends up threatening to stop her heart until she's unconcious, and the dutchess giggles so loudly at the interaction that you can't stop yourself from joining her.

The fifty years traveling have been lonely and cold and even your first years at the Little Palace have been filled with an odd distance between you and the other Grisha, but in those last two days everything feels like back when you truly were 23 and surrounded by friends.

Your heart hurts when you finally arrive in Os Alta and say goodbye to the dutchess and her husband, already missing the uncomfortable camps in the middle of the woods you had to stay in to make sure the drüskelle wouldn't be able to follow your tracks easily, but the pain quickly gets overshadowed by the excitement vibrating in the voices of your fellow soldiers.

It's time. Your mission is officially over. Now you will finally meet the new Darkling.

The five of you quickly step through the familiar hallways of the Little Palace, almost getting lost after realising that you won't have to debrief in the office General Golubev used during his time. You end up leading the group to the formerly empty rooms where the old Darkling stayed, explaining that you discovered the unused rooms during your first month at the palace while exploring the place.

You knock quickly on the heavy wooden doors before slipping to the back of the group, hiding behind the others. Eyes hovering over the Oprichniki guard while you wait for the General to call you in, you realize with a slight pang of pain that you don't recognize the guards. You used to be quite close to several of the Oprichniki in your old life, so close in fact that there were rumours of you joining before you noticed that you weren't aging like the others anymore and decided to fake your death. Seeing the people the General chose for his guard in their uniforms hurts a bit, it's undeniable. All of your friends are dead. All of them are dead, and you should be dead too, yet you stand here, in front of these doors, waiting to be let in by the son of the man you once loved.

Finally the deep voice of the General calls out through the door, and your heart starts to beat quicker at the familiarity. He sounds so much like his father.

How heartbreaking that must be for his mother, you think, slowly following the others into the war room where the man dressed in black waits for you.

The old General was confirmed dead five years ago. According to a letter sent by his wife, he fell asleep peacefully one night and never woke up. After that letter was made public, you returned to the Palace as a new Soldier, hoping that the hard work in the palace will fill your mind with something other than grief and heartbreak and now you're standing in the office you've spend so much time in in your old life. The same rooms where you have surrendered your body and soul to the father of the new general.

The guilt and shame die in your stomach the second you look up at the man dressed in black, eyes widening and eyebrows shooting up.

You don't dare to make a sound, instead just staring at the tall man in front of you as he addresses Inessa and listens to her report of the mission. When his eyes finally find yours you almost expect him to prove you wrong, to simply look you over once before continuing and demonstrating to you that he just looks eerily similar to his father, but as soon as his eyes find yours his words cut off and his face goes slack.

Yes, this is the man you gave your virginity to. That fucker faked his death too. He held a stupid funeral after you were confirmed dead, left the palace ten years later to hang out in the woods or whatever, faked his death 35 years later through a letter acting like he's his own wife, and now he's here acting like he's his own son.

You would start giggling like a crazy person if the whole situation wasn't so fucking bizarre and infuriating.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asks, completely ignoring the confused looks of the others in the room.

"What am I doing here? What the fuck are you doing here?"

You two stare at each other for a few seconds until Karina quietly coughs, probably to remind you two that others are in the room, and both of your heads snap over to her.

"Do you two know each other?" Inessa finally asks, and you almost jump to deny it, stopping yourself after realising how dumb of an idea that would be. You two clearly know each other.

"When I fled Ketterdam, I spent a few weeks with him and his mother before I came to the Little Palace." You explain without thinking, hoping that the tale you're weaving together makes at least a bit sense.

"I was wounded during my escape and exhausted, and while I travelled through Ravka, I was found by his mother, a healer. She took me in and let me stay with them for a few weeks before I continued to travel to the Little Palace. I didn't know that I was staying with the Darklings family."

The General looks at you for a few seconds, nodding very slowly like he's trying to make sure your words will enter his long term memory, before he looks back at the other Grisha, jaw clenching.

"I would like to have a conversation with my... my friend. Would you please come back later for the report? Perhaps tomorrow? You must all be terribly exhausted. Eat a meal and then return to your rooms. I will call for you when I find the time."

The four leave the room slowly, all of them pausing to stare at you as if you held back some incredibly important information and deeply betrayed the team, before the General stands up and opens the door again to send the Oprichniki outside away.

As soon as the door falls back into the lock, he storms into your direction, grabbing you by your shoulders and shaking you like a ragdoll.

"Stop! What are you doing?" you yell out, trying to slap his hands away and remove yourself from his ironlike grip. "Sasha!"

Finally, he lets you go, hands mowing to run through his hair and then over his beard.

"I held a funeral for you. I held a speech as well, talked about how much I regretted never asking you to join my personal guard."

His voice is cold and accusatory, as if you betrayed him deeply. In a way, you guess you did betray him, just a bit. "I looked for you for weeks after the Drüskelle attacked our camp. Weeks." he spits, and you can't stop yourself from folding your arms in front of your chest in defence.

"Well, you should've looked harder then! I was still in Ravka for two years after faking my death!" You're fuming now, the feeling of betrayal finally taking root in your heart as well. "And why do you act as if you're the only victim here? I grieved you when I found out you passed! Shit, I grieved when I heard you left the Little Palace to find a wife! Did you spend even a single second thinking of me after my disappearance? After my funeral?"

His hands ball up into fists, and his jaw clenches so tightly you almost worry if he's gonna break a tooth. The shadows in the war room grow longer, swallowing the sunlight bit by bit.

"Of course I grieved you. I loved you, you stupid fool. A mistake on my part, clearly, since it has now been revealed that I have fallen for lies and manipulation."

Scoffing angrily, you stomp your foot on the floor like a child, immediately regretting the action. "I did not lie to you! Not until I faked my death to protect myself!"

"Protect yourself from who?"

"From you! What was I supposed to do? Reveal myself as some immortal abomination of nature? Risk that you decide that I need to be killed?"

Now it's Aleksanders' turn to scoff, his eyebrows pulling together and turning his face into an angry grimace.

"Killed? Do you truly believe I would've killed you?"

"Of course I do! You would do anything, kill anyone, to make sure the Little Palace stays safe and secure. If the king found out I was immortal, it would've changed his opinion of Grisha overall. We would be classified as a risk to his rule again. Of course you would've killed me! So I did it for you, left that life behind, and continued with the next."

Aleksander stares at you for a few seconds, clearly trying to find some fault in your words, something to twist this whole conversation to make you seem like the villain, like he didn't do the exact same thing you did.

He turns his back to you, slowly walking over to the window to stare outside. "I don't even know why I listen to a liar like you. You have betrayed me, betrayed your fellow Grisha as well. How could I ever trust a single word coming from your mouth ever again?"

Saints, how you hate this overly dramatic side of his.

Slowly turning back towards you, he looks you up and down once more, his voice dripping in false pain, the underlying coldness betraying him. "Was I even the first to touch you? The first to lay claim on you? The first you surrendered your body to?"

You almost scream when the words finally sink in. "You don't get to make accusations like this! You have no right to question my honesty, least of all in a topic like this. And how hypocritical of you! I know this is my first time faking my death but how many times have you done this? How many centuries rest on your shoulders? How many people have you dragged to your bed? Because I know you were my first and last. If there is a harlot in this room it's not me!"

An exasperated expression finds its way onto his face, but he doesn't deny your accusation. Instead, he turns back to the window, taking a few deep breaths before he spins around, crossing the room in three long steps. His large hands grab your face harshly, pulling you toward him before his lips press against yours, beard scratching slightly against your skin.

The kiss is not soft, far from it, actually. It's all spit and teeth, clearly showing off how angry and out of practice you two are, like two instruments that play in different tempos.

After a few seconds however, you both start to slow down a bit, the kiss turning softer as you both fully realize that you both are alive, that you didn't loose each other to a Drüskelle attack or the cruel passing of time. You have found each other again, and while you don't know why you're not dead, why time didn't claim you, you decide that it doesn't matter. Not while you're in the arms of the man you've missed for half a century.

The why's and how's can be answered tomorrow, after he devoured you.

"There was no one after you." he speaks after breaking the kiss, his forehead pressing against yours while he lets you breathe for a bit.

"l will not lie to you, not any more than I already have. There have been people before you, but there was no one afterwards. Not while I stayed in the palace and not afterwards. I loved you - love you - too much to move on."

His hands softly caress your cheeks before he presses a kiss on your forehead, breathing in the smell of your hair before his forehead finds yours again. "I know it's probably not particularly obvious, but I'm so glad that you're alive. I'm so, so glad to see that you didn't die."

Aleksanders arm carefully wraps around your middle before he pulls you closer to him and lifts you into the air, his other hand moving your head to rest in the space between his neck and shoulder, carefully stroking over your hair.

You wrap your own arms around him, fingers digging into the back of his black kefta as tears begin to fill your eyes. His familiar smell enters your nose and lungs, it's warmth and familiarity making you feel vulnerable in his arms.

"Sasha," you whisper, your voice wavering a bit. He hushes you softly before he begins moving, carrying you in the direction of his bedroom. "Tomorrow, milaya. We will talk tomorrow. We will fight some more, scream at each other, throw inexcusable insults at each others heads, and then we will forgive. Tonight I just want to have you. Let me have you, hold you, touch you. That's all I want right now. Let me feel your living skin under my fingertips, my love."

He drops you carefully onto the familiar dark sheets, and as you look up at him, you're reminded of the dozens of times you've laid on these sheets before today.

Finally, you nod. "Tomorrow," you echo before grabbing Aleksanders shirt and pulling him back down to let your lips meet his once more.

—

Darkling Taglist: @snowkestrel

[aleksanderscult]

Zoya was being celebrated as the true queen and Aleksander was being called horrible untrue names under a post and I would like to be petty. Would you help me in this pettiness by pointing out all the times Zoya was overly horrible and an unfit ruler?

Another day where I wish I had read Nikolai's duology just so I could talk about those kind of moments.

But you know what? She was horrible in the trilogy too!

The way she greeted Alina by being contemptuous and trying to undermine her value:

The way she slammed her to a wall because Alina beat her and that was too much for her:

Alina had already taken the Darkling's attentions from her (although I doubt she had his attention that much) but to humiliate her like that in front of others? Not on her watch!

Apparently she was unnecessarily mean to Genya as well:

Zoya shows scorn and mockery towards Genya and her job as the Queen's servant. Her arrogance for considering herself as better than anyone else is showing in every page she appears.

The first time Zoya displayed interest in becoming Queen wasn't out of a true concern for the kingdom and its people but for the benefits this position would give her: wealth and prestige.

(and then Leigh made her queen🙂)

Another important and prevalent part of her personality is her hot-temper and recklessness. I've read only a couple of her POVs from "King of Scars" and whenever someone provokes them she snaps at them, yells or threatens. If you want to become a true leader then you need to be calm, logical and diplomatic. Many will try to hit you where you hurt through insults, indirect remarks etc. But you can't just rise from your sit and start yelling curses.

Zoya's character is simply not fit to become a leader, let alone a Queen. How will she successfully control a kingdom and its problems when she cannot control her own temper?

(for many more examples about her behaviour in Nikolai's duology, I'll ask the assistance of @stromuprisahat. She has read the duology and can give a deeper explanation about why Zoya sucks as Queen)

[stromuprisahat]

Siege and Storm- Chapter 17 (Leigh Bardugo)

The units of Grisha and soldiers who had been assembled to hunt down the Darkling... Given the history, this is more horrifying than anything. Of course those nice, friendly otkazat'sya like to bond with Grisha... over plans for a massacre of their widely hated ex-leader.

The irony of the man, who's goal since he was thirteen has been to put an end to his people being hunted to the point, when their desperation turns them against each other, becoming the bridge between his and normies by being turned into prey once again...

What about Grisha following the Darkling? I'm certain they wouldn't be slaughtered alongside him...

But we're free to ignore those, since the focus is on nichevo'ya, right?

I’d brought in armaments experts from Poliznaya... I'm curious if those "experts" and other First Army soldiers are hand-picked with regards of their stance towards Grisha... like oprichniki used to be. Or are we still ignoring First Army's crimes against Grisha?

... to help familiarize the Grisha with modern weaponry and give them training in firearms. Again, it would seem Grisha don't get the newest weaponry.

[thebadgerclan]

Someday

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Requested by Anonymous

Summary: Someday, you will be his...

For as long as you could remember, you and Prince Nikolai had been the closest of friends.  You were the daughter of a nobleman, your position at court placing you close to the younger Prince from birth.  Your connection was innate and instant, your friendship growing fast.  And as you aged into a young lady and he into a young man, your friendship remained intact, the one sure thing in the chaos that was life in Ravka.

Then you’d enlisted, surprising everyone in your family.  Nikolai had pulled some strings to put you in the same unit as him, and for the next five years, you served at his side.  You were there when he took his first bullet, and when your feelings for your dearest friend began twisting into something more.  But he was a Prince, and you were…you.  He would wed for alliance, and you would wed for your family’s strength.  Love didn’t factor into the equation for either of you; it didn’t matter that you had fallen deeply and irrevocably in love with Prince Nikolai Lantsov.

***

Life had been turned on its axis.  The Darkling was in open revolt, the Grisha were fractured, and the Sun Summoner had returned to Ravka.  Prince Nikolai had returned to the Spinning Wheel with Alina Starkov in tow, both of whom were clearly ready for a fight.  You’d only had a few moments to reunite with your closest friend before all residents of the Spinning Wheel were summoned for a dinner, to celebrate the Prince’s return, as Queen Tatiana said.

As Nikolai’s lieutenant, you were seated at the Head Table, Alina to his left, and you to her left.  The meal had barely begun when Vasily made a comment about the Grisha, to which Alina quipped, “We are all Ravkan here.”  Nikolai rolled his eyes.  “It doesn’t need to be us versus them.”  The tension could be sliced with a dull knife, Alina stating that she would lead the Second Army if they needed a leader loyal to the Crown.

“Why should I believe you have any loyalty to my family?” Vasily asked, and Nikolai and Alina shared a heavy look.  Then he stood, raising his glass.  “Today marks the start of a new era of cooperation between Lantsovs and the Grisha,” he announced, and something in your stomach plummeted.  “I’m delighted to announce my engagement to Alina Starkov, the Sun Summoner, and new leader of the Second Army.  Together, we will build a better future for Ravka.”

He called for a toast, but you couldn’t bring yourself to raise your glass, much less force a smile.  The man you loved, unrequitedly, but loved nonetheless, was no longer yours, as if he ever had been.  Nikolai was engaged, he was Alina’s, and she was his.  The cheers of the crowd were suddenly too much to stand, and you stood, fleeing the room as you fought tears.  Vasily had left too, as had Alina’s tracker friend, but Nikolai only saw that you had left.

“Excuse me,” he said, both to his mother and to Alina, before following you.  “Y/N?  Y/N!”  Tears were flowing now, and you kept walking, wiping at your eyes.  “Y/N, stop!”  You didn’t, continuing until you met a dead end, resting your forehead against the stone wall.  Nikolai jogged to your side, laying a hand on your shoulder.  “What’s wrong?”

You sniffled.  “So that’s it?” you said.  “You’re engaged?”  “Y/N, you’ve got to understand, I-”  “You barely know her,” you shot, turning to face him.  “Alina is a good person,” he replied.  “She is kind, she…she will be a good wife.”  You wiped at your eyes again.  “I’m happy for you,” you said, and Nikolai cocked his head.  “Then why are you crying, Y/N?  Talk to me.”

You nearly growled.  “Why am I crying?  Because it hurts, Nikolai!”  Immediately, his eyes were scanning you for some injury, something that was causing pain.  “What?  What hurts?”  You spoke so softly, Nikolai did not hear.  “What was that?”  “Loving someone that doesn’t love you!”  The Prince was stunned by your words and he blinked.  “W-what?”

“I love you!” you cried, desperation filling your voice.  “I’ve loved you for years!  And you never saw me, and that was fine!  I could live with being your friend, even when I knew you’d have to marry someone who wasn’t me and leave me!  But now we’re at war and you’re engaged to the Sun Summoner!  And it hurts, Nikolai, it hurts!  And I…I…”

“Saints, Y/N,” Nikolai whispered, striding forward and pulling you into his arms, kissing you deeply.  You gripped him tightly, never wanting to let go.  He kissed you until your head was swimming, until your lungs were burning, until you were trembling in his arms, until you had to pull away for air.  “Y/N, I love you.”  You blinked at him, your noses bumping together.  “You do?”  “I do.  I’ve been in love with you since we were 14!  Since that boy told you that you should wear your corset tighter and you socked him in the nose.”

You barked out a laugh, unable to resist leaning in for another kiss.  “I’ve loved you since I watched you take a bullet and keep fighting.”  Nikolai smiled, kissing you again, and again, and again.  “But now you’re engaged,” you said.  “Sweet girl, that engagement is for alliances and appearances and we both know it.  I have no doubt that Alina’s in a corridor consoling her tracker right now.  Once we’ve won the war, we can break off the engagement and I’ll be free to court and woo you.  Which I fully plan on doing, by the way.”

You laughed again, pressing your forehead against his.  “I love you, Nikolai Lantsov,” you whispered, cupping his cheek.  “And I will always love you.”  “And I love you, Y/N L/N,” he whispered back, snaking an arm around your waist.  “Mark my words, I will make you my bride.  Someday.”  Someday, you liked that.  It was a promise, and it steadily became your mantra, as the war progressed.  Someday.

[juneisafantasyaddict]

The writers of the SaB show seem to be pulling the exact same shit that lb did in the books. because there’s no way they think ignoring everything the grisha have been forced to endure, pretending that the darkling is the beginning and end of their issues and ravka’s, making sure alina never understands what she’s actually fighting for, etc is going to do anything except make me root for the darkling even more.

The entire second season gives me flashbacks to that insane trilogy because somehow they managed to be even worse than the books. they have alina telling the darkling that he doesn’t understand sacrifice?? really??? a man who has spent centuries of his life fighting for the betterment of his people doesn’t understand sacrifice?? the person who literally made protecting grisha his life goal doesn’t understand sacrifice??? does alina realize that the only reason she wasn’t killed the moment she was discovered was because of him?? because of the work he has done??

They had time for baghra to tell stories about her crazy family and how she killed her sister, but there was no time for her to say “this is what life was like before my son decided he was going to make it better for our kind?” if anything, they just pissed me off more because how the fuck is it possible that they are pretending the biggest issue they have is the darkling?? not the monarchy that has exploited grisha and ravka, not the fjerdans who hunt and kill grisha, not shu han who experiments on them??

Sigh, I can’t even write out my thoughts coherently because I’m so irritated by pretty much everything that happened this season. I’m irritated that instead of telling a complex story, we got this dumbed down garbage that tells us nothing, accomplishes nothing beyond “guy in black is bad.” the narrative condemns him for using merzost because he was so desperate to save his people, he tried forbidden magic, but 20 seconds later the hero is using that same forbidden power to bring her boyfriend back to life??? With zero repercussions?? I want to scream!!

If the narrative is so sure they are right, if they are so sure the darkling is wrong about everything, then why are they so afraid to expose the hero to the suffering of her people?? Let her see what they have to deal with, let her truly understand then. She has been a grisha for less than a year, and somehow she knows what’s best for them?? She doesn’t even know them. The show writers literally spent this season making her chase Mal around. Look what happened when they were going after the seawhip, two people died because she didn’t want to kill it, but they moment it went after Mal, suddenly killing it was ok. Her side of the war got attacked and instead of checking to make sure everyone was ok, including her friend’s brother who was literally about to lose his arm, she was screaming about Mal. You want to tell me about sacrifice?? She only cared about one person, and he was perfectly fine at the end. What does she know about sacrifice?? Why oh why is this fucking story just so determined to make her make all the worst possible decisions??

Incase you haven’t noticed, I haven’t talked about the crows at all, because I hate their presence in this story. They are a distraction!!! The grisha are fighting for their right to exist, Ravka is in the middle of a civil war, I do not have the time to follow the shenanigans of a group of criminals from a different country. I still don’t understand their purpose in this story, except comic relief?? 🤦🏽‍♀️

I love Alina, I really do, but jfc you cannot girl boss your way out of real solutions. They have her basically serving the monarchy and the whole time I kept thinking, if I were grisha, I wouldn’t follow her. She’s the leader of the second army but she’s wearing a first army uniform, she’s more interested in protecting the Lanstov throne than she is in protecting her people. She’s so blinded by everyone saying “the darkling is bad, the fold needs to go” she’s not stopping to say “what happens when the fold is gone?” “What happens after the war?” Because surely, she isn’t naive enough to think the people who started killing grisha as soon as they thought the darkling was gone are going to live peacefully with them now?? It took 2 seconds after the darkling died for Fjerda to send an assassin on jurda parem into ravka. Now that there’s no fold to stop them, what will stop Fjerda or Shu Han from sending an army?? Ignoring everything else the crows did, Kaz was right when he said “when they stop looking at her with gratitude, they’ll start to wonder if she hasn’t overstayed her welcome.” Which is basically what Aleksander kept saying btw, they are not going to love you for long, they are going to hate you eventually because they are afraid of what they don’t understand.

I don’t even know what the point of this was, but yeah, I guess it was a rant about how Fucking ridiculous season 2 of shadow and bone was.