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summary ۫ ꣑ৎ . . you and dazai cuddle to fall asleep.
𓂃⊹ ִֶָ featuring . . dazai x gender neutral reader
the night was gentle, the rain dance gently tapping its rhythm against the window - the sound accompanied by a deep rumble in the back of your throat as you nuzzled your nose into your lovers chest. a promise of a safe time and an interwined pair of hearts.
"..You wanna know something?" Dazai mumbled, his hand weaving through your hair, pausing to gently scratch your scalp. You let out a low hum, opening an eye to glance up at him. met with lovesick chocolate gaze in return.
"..We aren't doing this tonight , 'samu." came your muffled response, resting your hands on his tummy as you adjusted to get comfortable. A whine sounded through the bedroom, the brunettes expression turning to a mock hurt.
"Why not? Can't I tell my sweetheart how much I love them?"
"We do this every night .. m'too tired .."
"What if one of us doesn't wake up?"
silence, for just a moment. then a small sigh. You lifted yourself to cuddle closer, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "I promise we'll both be here in the morning. You have work, I won't let you stay up ranting again.."
Dazai chuckled, nuzzling his face into the top of your head. a gentle hand wrapping around your waist to tug you closer, enjoying the weight on top of him. It felt like a blanket - a weight that loved him back.
"..Alright, beautiful. get some sleep.."
he watched as your eyes closed, staying firmly pressed against each others bodies. Dazai could recognise the moment your breathing was deeper, you always fell asleep first, after all. he figured it must be exhausting.
a gentle sigh, a glance to the jacket with the velveteen box in the pocket - the puffs of warm air under his chin. maybe living wasn't so bad if this was the fate he was given.
dazai closed his eyes, and drifted to sleep. he couldn't wait to wake up next to you again.
#✎𓂃 𝐍.ᴏᴛᴇʙᴏᴏᴋ#dazai x reader fluff#dazai x y/n#dazai x reader#dazai x you#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs x you#bsd x reader#bsd x you#bsd x gender neutral reader#dazai x gn!reader#“zai what are you doing! why are you posting writing on your main instead of your writing blog!” get good#its only short so. why not#its old. ok. so its bad. ok. we get it we GET IT SHHHHHHH
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boyfriend!dazai who…
a/n : for my love @perfectlyjollyland who requested this ages ago but i didn’t see until recently because i only pay attention to my inbox! im so sorry ill be checking comments too next time, hope you’re well! <3
a/n : also i hope you’re okay with the pre-boyfriend/before boyfriend part, i just thought that’d be cute i love lovesick!dazai sooo much.. more boyfriend dazai under the cut!!
chuuyas version | atsushis version
dividers used belong to @/benkeibear
masterlist | taglist | main page
pre-boyfriend!dazai who at the start asks you for a double suicide (as per usual), but when you give him the cutest smile and giggle and say no, he knows he’s too deep in now.
pre-boyfriend!dazai who becomes head over heels when he first meets you and now has a new mission, making you reciprocate those feelings.
pre-boyfriend!dazai who loves the cliches, the random ‘anonymous’ love notes on your desk when you’re at work or the random flowers delivered to your workplace/home - he loves it all.
pre-boyfriend!dazai who respects your boundaries if you were to tell him to lay off or if he was making you uncomfortable.
pre-boyfriend!dazai who finally gives up..gives up throwing hints and just decides to take his shot.
“So..say, if a handsome stranger who’s kind of not a stranger since you know him as an acquaintance asks you out because he’s given up with all of the deadpanned hints he’s been giving you for the past few months but he’s kind of scared of being rejected..what would you say?”
You stare him with a few blinks as he looks at you with a great smile on his face, although you can see subtle drops of sweat dripping down the side of his temple.
"..Is this said handsome stranger you, perchance?”
Dazai let’s out a single laugh, placing his hands on his hips.
“Ha! How bold of you, though..I am charmed your first thought of this handsome stranger would be me, bella~” He coyly smirks, closing his eyes in what you can’t tell is either pride or suspense.
You furrow your eyebrows with a little smile, fixing up your paperwork as you place them on the desk. “No, I just figured since it was you who’s been leaving such persistent and eager notes on my desk as of late.”
You watch his expression slightly change as he lets out a cough of embarrassment, locking eyes with you now.
“Well..” He starts, then gives up halfway through.
“..Is it a yes?”
pre-boyfriend!dazai who not only is taken by surprise by your response, but his heart does a few jumps in joy as his efforts became a success, making him now your boyfriend.
boyfriend!dazai who has his hand down your back pocket whenever you two are walking together.
boyfriend!dazai who’s love language is both physical touch and acts of service, always having his hands on you in the littlest way and also providing the most he can to his s/o.
boyfriend!dazai who has the reputation of being quite the flirtatious one, gives it up to his precious s/o.
boyfriend!dazai who googles cheesy and dirty pickup lines to try and rizz you with, always ending them in a winky face.
boyfriend!dazai who sends you little messages every day now that he has your number, little words of affirmations and talks to get you ready for your days.
boyfriend!dazai who if he had a tiktok account he’d make slideshows of you two and repost videos of couples relating to you two.
boyfriend!dazai who you spend all of your holidays with, especially christmas and new years.
boyfriend!dazai who practically lives at your house now, but nobody’s complaining.
boyfriend!dazai who has a box of every little thing you’ve given him, so when he’s feeling down he can look at it and smile.
boyfriend!dazai who tries to keep you away from his past, to protect you from the ugly truth.
boyfriend!dazai who opens up about oda, not all of it but most of it since he believes oda would’ve liked you.
boyfriend!dazai who takes you to the places he has the fondest memories in. the lupin bar, the art gallery, the agency.
boyfriend!dazai who appreciates the little things, as he’s not someone who can afford much he tries to give you the best he can.
boyfriend!dazai who always argues that he loves you more trying to get the last word and when you think you have it, you hear a little mumble of “I love you more” as you walk away.
boyfriend!dazai who loves your hands, tracing the lines of your palm and fingers and creating little shapes on them makes him feel at peace.
boyfriend!dazai who can be possessive but in a good way, he has good reasons to be possessive.
boyfriend!dazai who when he sees someone give you a half lidded smirk or bedroom eyes, he gives them a deadly stare that could imprint on their skull as he wraps an arm around your waist.
boyfriend!dazai who constantly babbles on about you at work with the agency, always telling Atsushi about the cutest things that you did the night before or what you did the day before that.
“Ahh..and the way they just clench their fists at their sides when they are angry with me! Ah~ I could melt..”
“That’s..really nice, Dazai-san..”
“Oh! And the way they grab my hand so tightly when we’re in public ahhh~ I could melt!”
“D-dazai-san..-“
“Ahhh, and the way the-“
boyfriend!dazai who ends up with about 14 wounds all over his body because of kunikidas beatings..kunikida says he’s lucky it wasn’t 15.
boyfriend!dazai who you take care of at his lowest.
boyfriend!dazai who sometimes can’t understand why you put up with him, but you reassure him with words and kisses all over his face.
boyfriend!dazai who peppers your face with kisses back and gives you a small smile despite how sad he can feel.
boyfriend!dazai who watches the fireworks with you and doesn’t think of going out just as beautifully because why would he let such a precious thing slip out of his hands like that?
boyfriend!dazai who doesn’t care about himself or his mental health, but cares the most about yours.
boyfriend!dazai who once felt like he was drowning, but then found his light to the surface who has a smile of diamonds and a heart of gold.
TAGLIST : @hauntedsol @hopefulpain @forgotten-blues @ruru-kiss @texas-bitch-yee @lvstyangel @thetizzler @is-therelife-onmars @atlasnessie @101strawberries101 @reesesnieces @suzurans-world @mackereland-slug @heartsfourdazai @iratherowan @onlinewhisper14 @nomnomventi
white = unable to be tagged :(
@/riiwrites - reblogs are highly appreciated ❤︎︎
#𝐫𝐢𝐢𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 ༄#dazai headcanons#dazai osamu x reader#bungo stray dogs dazai#osamu dazai x reader#bsd dazai osamu#dazai#dazai x reader#bsd dazai#dazai bsd#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai osamu#dazai x reader fluff#dazai x fem reader#dazai x you#dazai x y/n#dazai x male reader#dazai x gn!reader#bsd x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader
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Pathetic!Dazai x GN!Reader
Content Warnings: sub!Dazai, dom!reader, no pronouns for reader, no anatomy described for reader, edging, bondage, aftercare
-> 700 words
NSFW CONTENT AHEAD - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
You can’t think of a prettier sight than the one in front of you: Dazai, stark naked, shaking, and leaking precum on the bed, with his arms tied behind him in an intricate shibari knot. He’s fighting back tears, hips jerking forward with every throb of his aching cock.
“Please, I wanna cum,” he sobs, voice cracking. He doesn’t normally sound quite so blubbery, but edging will do that. “Please, please, please,” he babbles. “I’ll be a good boy, so good for you I promise… just wanna cum…”
You shift the weight of the vibrator in your hand ever so slightly, making him breathe in sharply. It’s just a basic bullet vibe; the one you normally use on yourself for solo play (thoroughly cleaned, of course), but for someone who’s never used one… it’s intense. It’s not even on right now, but Dazai is literally drooling at the way you teasingly turn it over in your hand.
How many times have you brought him right to the edge, only to pull away? Must have been 4 or 5 times tonight. You just couldn’t help yourself, he looks so adorably pathetic on his knees like that.
And you tell him so, carding his sweaty hair away from his face to kiss his temple. “Love it when you beg for me,” you whisper. His chest heaves with another sob when you pull away, the fabric of your shirt brushing against his sensitive cockhead.
“Swear you’ll be good for me?” you ask, thumb circling the power button.
His wrists and forearms burn from tugging on the ropes holding them back; legs shake from kneeling for so long under so much tension. He nods vehemently, straightening his spine.
You smile and switch on the vibe. “Good. I don’t want to have to use the ball gag on you. I love those cute sounds you make.”
Dazai’s been zoned in on the vibrator from the moment you turned it on, not a word of what you said reaching his ears. His pupils are dilated, drool already dripping down his chin.
He lets out an agonized cry as you press the vibe to the base of his cock. You run it up the shaft slowly, pressing so lightly it’s barely touching his skin. He’s shaking so much you have to hold his cock in place with your other hand. It jumps in your palm, beading another drop of precum.
Dazai whimpers, teeth gritted in an attempt to stay quiet. His cockhead is red and angry, but you tease ever closer to it.
“Look at you, just crying for it,” you murmur. You run the vibe up and down his shaft a few more times. “Think you can handle a bit more?”
Instead of a response, more moans fall from Dazai’s lips. His eyes are squeezed shut, brow furrowed enough he’ll probably have a headache later. “Please,” he whines.
“Gonna make a mess for me, pretty boy?” You pull his chin closer and whisper, “Gonna cum for me?” You slide the vibrator up until it’s nestled at his frenulum, just below his cockhead.
He doubles over as though he’s been kicked in the stomach, a sharp cry punched out of him as his cock pulses. There’s enough force behind the orgasm that his cum shoots onto you, dripping down your shirt in thick globs. It lasts longer than usual too; he writhes against the ropes around his arms as he rides through it for a good 30 seconds.
Finally, it lets up. His muscles seem to give as he sinks into you, breathing hard. “Fuck,” he says under his breath.
“Hold still for me,” you say softly, working to undo the knots binding him. This isn’t your first time, so you’re able to quickly release him from the ropes. You give him a quick kiss before reminding him to do some stretches. He complains, but does them anyway, stretching his sore arms and shoulders along with you.
“Feeling okay?” you ask.
“Yeah,” he says, then makes a face. “My baby’s such a sadist, edging me for hours like that.”
You laugh and cuddle into him. “You know you love it. Now what movie do you wanna watch? I’ll order pizza.”
Back to Masterlist
#rashoumon writes#dazai x reader#dazai x you#dazai x y/n#dazai x gn!reader#dazai x gender neutral reader#patheticzai#pathetic!dazai#sub dazai#dom reader#bsd x gn reader#bsd x gender neutral reader#bsd#bungou stray dogs
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₊˚⊹♡ WEEK THREE ๋࣭ ⭑ BITING / MARKING & MIRROR SEX
Specifically Osamu Dazai x Reader
Warnings; mirror sex, harsh biting / marking, penetration, slightly more aggressive than usual, aggressive sex? degrading words, mentions of the male reproduction organ, warnngs were typed out before I actually wrote the fic so. I'll miss a lot of stuff sorry guys.
A/n; erm so i've decided for week 3 nd 4 to only do one as ive said, its just so stressing to constantly rush rush rush out a fic for it to just flop so yea. see you guys next week for the last fic of kinktober
Date night for Osamu was always such a big deal, when the two of you first got together you wouldn't have even imagined this rat.. Would be into such things. Of course he wasn't a rat but he seemed like one when y'all first started dating. But when you fully got to know him he was actually a good boyfriend. Back to the point of tonight, you were looking at yourself up 'nd down in the mirror, making sure nothing had to be tweaked about your outfit, hair or anything else. You let out a huffed as you slouch over the bathroom counter, eyes following the door opening as your lover walked in. His hand quickly finding your back, rubbing soothing circles with his lengthy fingers. "You look fantastic, baby." The brunette said with a grin, but he couldn't help but get turn on at just how amazing you truely looked.
Slowly, he adjusted behind you, his slight erection pressing against your ass, shivers running down your spine. "Hey, 'Samu. What are you doing I thought we were going on a date?" You mutter, electing a quiet groan from the other as he rolled his hips into your ass. "We can go on a date tomorrow or something." Dazai huffed, taking off his pants before helping you with yours. You never understood how he got it up so quick but that was the least of your worries. Osamu's lengthy fingers already found between your legs, strocking your sex slowly, moans escaping your mouth. Once the bandaged man had stripped your from the waist and below, his hands grip under your thighs before picking you up, your legs spread wide as your back pressed firmly into Dazai's chest.
"God, look at you. So fucking gorgeous." He hissed into your ear, voice raspy with lust. His mouth quickly found your neck, biting harshly before sucking on the mark. "Ah..~ Osamu. What even turned you on.?" You gasped out as your boyfriend's digits found your entrance, slick with his saliva before penetrating inside, working you open. "You, you turned me on. You look so damn good. Look at you." He cooed, pulling his fingers out of your tight heat once it felt "good enough." Looking into the mirror, he adjusted himself, the tip of his cock at your entrance, one aggressive thrust and he buryed himself deep within you. You let out a shaky moan as you cover your mouth and squeeze your eyes shut. "Oh? Cmon, babe, open those eyes and look at how much of a pretty slut you are." He teased, that stupid cocky grin on his face as he gripped your chin, jerking your face to look in the mirror.
His hips roll and buck into your tightness at an unforgiving pace as your moans fill the bathroom. "Ahh~! Hold on Osamu! Nggh~." You whimper between your words, your lover's thrusts harsh and unforgettable as he bites down into your neck, leaving messy teeth marks everywhere. He was like a dog marking their territory, messy and aggressive. You allow your head to fall back onto Dazai's shoulder as you moan, your entire being trembling with each thrust and bite. "You're gonna cum for me, yea? Going to cum all over my cock like a good whore?" He teased, biting your shoulder as he continues to pump his length in and out of your tightness, feeling your walls squeeze around him. "Just a second! Ngh~ Please~." You choked out a bit as you swallowed down saliva.
"Just a second? Cmon just cum, cum all over my cock." He urged, bucking his hips harder, deeper within your heat. He let out soft groan as his hand returned it's grip to your chin, forcing your to look at yourself in the mirror. "Watch yourself come undone. Look how much you love my cock, baby. You're basically sucking me in." He hummed with a chuckle, sucking hickeys on your neck as he fucked you faster. Your body jolted as you reached your peak, The brunette's tip constantly hitting that spot that made you see stars as he calmed you down from your orgasm. You pant heavily, body basically limp against your boyfriend's as his movements got sloppy before releasing deep inside you.
"Fuck, there we go, love. You look magnificent." Dazai cooed in your ear, pressing soft kisses to your nape before slowly putting you down. His arms wrapping around your waist to stable you. "You did just as amazing as you look. Let's get you cleaned up now." Dazai told you as he slowly pulled his limp member out of you slowly, arms still wrapped tightly around you.
A/n; I'M SO DANG TIRED GUYS WAHHH THIS WAS SO RUSHED.
#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bungō stray dogs#bsd fanfic#bsd x reader#dazai bungou stray dogs#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai osamu#dazai#osamu dazai x you#bsd dazai osamu#osamu dazai x reader#osamu x reader#osamu#bsd x gender neutral reader#bsd x you#bsd x y/n#dazai x reader#dazai x you#dazai x y/n#dazai x gn!reader#gn!y/n#gn!mc#x gn!reader#gn!reader#bsd fanfiction#bsd fic#osamu x you
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PLAYING : HOTLINE ! — DAZAI TUNES IN!
𝗧hinking about Dazai, your childhood friend and the one who shows his vulnerability only to you. Years after you've gone and left the Port Mafia and your terrible past behind, he knocks on your door. He looks downright terrible. His bloodied hands are trembling as he grips onto the fabric of Odasaku's coat, he's trembling, and on the verge of tears.
"Dazai, how'd you—" he practically leaps, his bandaged arms wrap around your neck, squeezing harshly, though you wonder how he found you... Ango.
There's not a word spoken between you two, but you know exactly what he needs. You pull him inside, carefully closing the door. "How about we clean you up first, okay?" You whisper. He stinks. His eyelids are puffy and there's red underlining his eyelashes. His hair is due for a wash with split ends, and he's pale. You guess he hasn't taken too much care of himself since you left. He silently nods, leaning his full bodyweight into you.
You bring him to your bathroom, carefully peeling the layers of clothing from him. The first to come off is the black coat he's regularly worn since he joined the Port Mafia.
His knees are to his chest as he speaks for the first time. "Mori-san's coat, burn it. I don't need it," he whispers in a raspy voice as if he's been screaming. You hum in acknowledgement as you set the dirty thing on the bathroom tile. Your hands carefully help him undress before starting to undo his bandages. "Years later and you still can't change your bandages like I told you to," he hears you whisper with a small smile. The bloodied and worn bandages fall to the floor as he hears the sound of streaming water come from the bathtub inches from him.
Once he's in the bath, you carefully rinse his body with warm water, lathering his new and old scars with soap carefully. There's a hint of guilt in your heart as you hear him wince, though this is probably for the best.
The pads of your fingers massage his scalp as you wash his hair, just like you did when the two of you were kids. You carefully trim his wet hair and brush it before getting him out of the tub, helping him dry off. You were likely the only person he could truly trust to see him so...bare and vulnerable. You couldn't exactly tell if the silence was tense or comforting, regardless you continued with is predictable mute moment. He always got like that when there was something wrong, you sigh.
"How about, I get you something to eat? I made some bento boxes, you can eat one and then brush your teeth, is that okay?" You speak softly and re-bandage his tender skin.
You smile softly at him when be finally nods. "Okay," you whisper and attempt to finish quickly before his mind changes.
As his hair dries it becomes its usual fluffy self, you'd assume hair matches personality; however, Dazai's eyes were close to dead. He only seemed to relax, feel different, when you touched him so gently. You quickly clean up and head to make him food. "You don't have to eat all of it y'know...just some, okay?" You whisper, setting the box in front of him.
He can tell your eyes are studying him as he eats, wondering what your Dazai from years ago has turned into. You look at him proudly when he finishes half of it before pushing it away. "Thank you," you whisper.
Handing him a toothbrush, you let him brush his teeth and fix the mess that is your bedroom, knowing he'll ask to sleep. And surely, 5 minutes later he stumbles to your doorway. "Can I...Can I stay?" You look him up and down, smiling softly. Compared to the terrible look he had when he first appeared at your door, he looks better. No longer like a man seconds from being a corpse.
"'Course," You smile, pulling back the covers, "C'mere."
He walks to the bed, crawling onto the soft sheets carefully. His brown eyes look at you expectingly, watching you get under the covers with him. He moves his body next to yours, putting his face into your neck without a word. "Ready to talk?" You whisper. His hoarse voice whispers a 'No.'
The calming effect your fingers have as they glide along him and his hair makes him feel like he's home. "Okay, just sleep. I'll be right here, I'm not leaving."
Dazai again, speaks no words, but his legs entertangle with yours. He remembers just why he came here. He missed you. Even if Odasaku is gone, he has you to make sure he doesn't go over the deep end. He'll save people, he'll grant Odasaku's last wish. But first, he wants to rest. Right next to his home.
"I promise, sleep." The man listens, squeezing onto you as if to test that this is real before drifting off.
For the first time in days...he's at peace.
A/N: dazai srsly needs a hug, 'n ill b the one 2 give it 2 him if no one else will! we need more fluffy fics of taking care of dazai, rather than dazai taking care of us. nyway, if u haven't signed up 4 the new tag list u totally should! there's new options n better format.
SUBSCRIBERS : @avatsu @sofliesy @tamreadfanfiction
#(💿) -> SNIPPETS!#(🎵) -> O. DAZAI#dazai osamu x reader#x male reader#x gender neutral reader#x female reader#dazai x reader#dazai x gn!reader#bsd x reader#bsd x gn reader#gn reader#bsd fluff#bsd angst#dazai fluff#dazai angst#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs
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@KAELOHVER☆
PM!DAZAI WITH A YOUNGER SIBLING
TW: Yandere behaviour (?), violence, suicide mentions, spoilers for Dazai’s past, guns, controlling & possessive behaviour.
-Pm!Dazai as your brother would be a force to be reckoned with…
-He’d be extremely protective and would probably only trust you with Odasaku, Chuuya and Hirotsu.
-I’d imagine that you were with Dazai through childhood, including his suicide attempt that got him into Mori’s care.
-After you were put into Mori’s care with your brother, he’d definitely make sure you were the less-traumatised one.
-He would protect you innocently at first (making sure you didn’t see much bloodshed etc) but it would become less innocent through time.
-He would put a gun to anyones head if someone even hinted to show disrespect or dislike towards you.
-Even so much of a rumour of someone disliking you would cause them pain and suffering.
-If you ever get a crush on someone and Dazai gets wind of that information…
-Your crush will literally be watched 24/7 by port Mafia agents for months.
-Dazai would decide most things for you no matter your age and If you questioned him then you’d be met with a glare.
-I’d guess that you’d be one of those members that does stuff in secret and makes sure the bare minimum knows of you.
-The bare minimum means those who he trusts and those that absolutely have to know of you.
-He would be less of a brother and more of a boss, which he would absolutely despise about himself.
-He would act like a child a lot, despite his controlling nature towards you.
-He would actively ignore orders just to lay his head on your lap then walk about like nothing happened around 20 mins later..
-If you seem hostile towards him, he’ll straight up ghost you.
-He would and wouldn’t feel bad about his behaviour towards you.
-On one hand, he feels like you did nothing to deserve seeing violence and end up being isolated..
-But on the other hand, he feels like he’s protecting you somehow.
-The Mafia teaches twisted ways, so it’s no surprise Dazai thinks most of the stuff he does is somehow justifiable.
-It’s shown that the Port Mafia teaches people to use their bodies to advantage in situations (as shown with Kouyou, Dazai & Kyouka in situations) so Dazai wouldn’t want you going on missions that might include such uses and would more than likely give missions away to his agents whilst still crediting you.
-When Oda dies and tells Dazai to join the good side, Dazai doesn’t think twice about getting you out the Mafia.
-He’d go as far as to fake your death if it meant getting you out (which he wouldn’t have to do, considering he didn’t fake his own to get out)
-He’d get Ango to erase anything that involved you in the Mafia (despite the already big lack of evidence) as well as himself.
-During the years he hid, he would try to fix your relationship.
-He’d be heavily unsure of whether to bring you in the Ada or not.
-He would probably decide that you should join, considering you wouldn’t be particularly safe away from him anyway.
-He’d feel guilty about the way he treated you considering you were the only one he had, so don’t be surprised if he clings to you all day and acts 10x more clingy.
-So, you’d have quite a rocky relationship (a lot like Kouyou & Kyouka) in the Mafia but would recover it over time!
#yandere dazai#platonic#dazai x reader#dazai headcanons#dazai hcs#dazai imagines#dazai x y/n#dazai x you#dazai x gn!reader#kaelohver🎋#bsd x y/n#bsd x you#bsd x reader#bsd x gender neutral reader
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“ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐑 . ”
character : dazai osamu
context : you’re an agent going undercover, you encounter port mafia executive dazai. he finds you interesting. yeah..
authors note : you should listen to the diner by Billie ellish to get the vibe to it.
warning : stalker briefly mentioned, stalker!dazai, can be interpreted romantically or whatever, shout out to my bbg @riiwrites 😼☝🏽, murder and blood mentioned too, gender not mentioned, literally we rock with they/them 💋‼️.. uhm I think that’s all gays yeah..
,, 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐓. 𝜚
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐊𝐘 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐒, the last remnants of daylight clinging stubbornly to the horizon. It was a view [name] had come to appreciate, standing on the balcony of the modest clinic where [name] built their cover. As a doctor specialising in human behaviour, their role was simple enough—listen, observe, and blend in. Standing there in viewing the people going about their days, [name] ran their fingers along the balcony’s iron railing, feeling the coolness of the metal beneath their skin. In this quiet neighbourhood, [name] was simply known as Dr. [name]—a doctor who listened to the woes of the weary, a person who could help people understand the storms in their minds. In some ways, [name] had taken to the role more naturally than they expected. It wasn’t far from what I had trained for, after all. But beneath that calm exterior, my real purpose was far more pressing.
The wind picked up slightly, rustling the papers on my desk inside the small office. I stepped back inside, closing the door behind me as I glanced at the scattered reports and profiles I’d been reviewing. Every interaction I had here was a potential lead—every patient, every conversation was a thread that might lead me to the missing documents. I was hunting for the whispers in the crowd, the signs that something was about to crack.
I sat down and opened one of the files again. A name stared back at me—Takeda Masaru, a local journalist with a reputation for being nosey. He had been in to see me twice, under the guise of seeking help for stress and insomnia. But I knew better. Knocking me out of my train of thought, my smartwatch started vibrating. It was morse code.
‘GOOD EVENING AGENT [NAME], IT'S NICE TO YOU ALIVE AND WELL.WE HAVE NEW INTEL. THERE'S BEEN SIGHTING AT THE LOADING. THE DOCUMENTS SHOULD BE THERE. IT SHOULD BE A DARK RED CARGO BOX WITH THE NAME ‘MELLUVS ART AND WRITING SUPPLIES’ . QUICKLY GET THERE BEFORE ANYBODY INTERVENES. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU.’
I quickly changed my clothing still keeping my pants and shoes and swapping my glasses with sunglasses, my shirt with a business shirt. Taking my coat off the rack I jumped off of the railing onto the pavement. The cold air hitting my face, I felt that familiar rush of adrenaline. The peaceful exterior I’d adopted as a doctor was peeling away, revealing the true purpose behind the mask.
I arrived at the loading dock slipping past guards. While remaining on my toes, looking around, finding the maroon cargo box, picking the lock, catching it before it could fall can make noise. Opening the door and sorting through papers. I found the papers of the document, putting the papers in my doctors folder, I turned to step out just to be greeted with…
"Are you lost?" a voice rang out behind them.
“I’m sorry?” You turned towards the stranger with a simple smile.
“I said, are you lost? Dr. [name].” He repeated.
Standing in the shadow of a weathered chimney was a young man, barely older than them, with an unsettlingly casual grin. His black hair fell messily over his eyes, his posture loose and unthreatening, but I knew better than to trust appearances. There was something sharp beneath that smile.
“Ah. No I’m not..”
"Dazai Osamu," the man introduced himself, stepping closer without a care in the world. "What a coincidence, meeting you here."
"Coincidence?" [name]’s voice was flat, unamused. "I don’t believe in coincidences."
Dazai’s grin widened. "Smart. I don’t either."
This wasn’t good. My mission had suddenly become complicated—this was Dazai, a notorious figure in the Port Mafia, rumoured to be both brilliant and dangerous. Getting caught up with him was exactly what their agency warned them about. But retreating now would be even worse. They couldn't afford to show any weakness.
"You’re in my way," I stated plainly, their eyes locked onto him. Dazai’s expression flickered briefly with interest.
"Am I?" he mused, not moving an inch. Instead, his eyes gleamed with curiosity. "I wonder what someone like you is doing up here. You don’t seem like the usual riffraff the mafia deals with. You're different."
I said nothing. They were trained to maintain a poker face, but they could feel Dazai’s gaze piercing through them, searching for cracks.
After a tense silence, I decided it was better to end this encounter quickly. "I have no business with you. Walk away."
Dazai’s grin softened into something almost playful. "I could say the same. But I don’t feel like walking away just yet. You intrigue me."
Before you could respond, a shout echoed from the alley below—footsteps, too many of them. The mission wasn’t over yet. With a sharp glance at Dazai, [name] moved quickly, shoving him out the way with the documents I hand, disappearing into the shadows of the cargo port.
𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟 . ♡ . 𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎢
The mission was complete, the documents recovered, and the city’s fragile calm preserved. Days passed, and YN pushed the encounter with Dazai to the back of their mind. They believed they had left him behind in that port, a fleeting figure from a fleeting night.
But they were wrong.
It began with small sightings—first at a diner near one of their agency’s hideouts, a quaint place where [name] often went to clear their mind. They walked in for a quiet moment, only to find Dazai, seated by the window, sipping his coffee as if it was the most natural thing in the world. His eyes met theirs, and that familiar grin spread across his face.
The next time, it was at their ‘job’. [name] worked as a hired security operative for a private military company, and the sight of Dazai loitering near the building was more than unsettling. He didn’t approach them, but his presence was a constant reminder that he was watching.
The evening air felt heavy as [name] returned home from a long shift, exhaustion pulling at their every step. They hadn’t noticed the lingering presence outside, the demon in the shadows, waiting. The lock clicked into place behind them as they shut the door, and for a moment, they stood still, listening. No footsteps followed. The silence was almost comforting.
They kicked off their shoes, fingers absently unbuttoning their dress shirt, craving nothing more than the solace of the couch. As they sank into it, something caught their eye—an envelope, placed conspicuously on the coffee table. A surge of unease rippled through their tired mind, heart beginning to race as they reached for the envelope, fingers brushing the edge of the paper with caution. Slowly, they opened it, their eyes scanning the contents.
‘THIS IS A REALLY NICE PLACE YOU’VE GOT HERE! MIND IF I MOVE IN? I HOPE YOU’RE READING THIS SILLY NOTE! I MIGHT’VE STOLEN SOME DOCUMENTS AND IMPORTANT FILES FROM YOUR OFFICE, SORRY, AGENT [NAME]~!’
A low groan of frustration escaped their lips as they crumpled the note and tossed it into the garbage. [name] rubbed their temples, too drained to deal with the antics of a certain mafioso tonight. Just as they tried to let the tension slip away, they caught sight of something—someone—standing on the balcony.
Their heart skipped a beat, and instinctively, they reached for their gun, gripping it tightly as they cautiously approached the window. They slid it open with precision, never taking their eyes off the figure leaning against the railing. "You’re persistent," [name] said, gun ready but posture steady.
The man on the balcony didn’t seem fazed by the weapon. Dazai Osamu smiled as if this were all part of a game. "And you’re elusive," he countered, voice light and carefree. But there was something beneath that tone, something deeper, lurking behind the casual amusement in his gaze. "I like people who don’t give themselves away so easily."
[name] sighed, lowering the gun but keeping it in hand. Arms crossed, they met his eyes with thinly veiled exasperation. "What do you want, Dazai?"
He tilted his head slightly, as though considering the question, his eyes glinting with amusement. "I’ve been trying to figure that out. You’re… interesting. And I’m rarely interested in anyone."
"Flattering," [name] muttered, voice laced with sarcasm as their patience wore thin. "But I’ve got work to do."
Dazai’s expression shifted, his grin softening, but his presence growing more intense as he stepped closer. "I know," he said quietly. "That’s what makes this so fun. You, with your little secrets and dangerous missions… I can’t help but want to unravel it all."
"You can’t follow me forever," [name] warned, voice quieter now, each word a warning laced with resolve.
Dazai’s smile softened further, almost genuine. "Maybe not," he agreed, his voice low, "but I can follow you for a little while longer.”
“Get the hell out of my apartment,” [name] snapped, their voice sharp as they levelled the gun at Dazai. The cold metal clicked audibly as they cocked it, a clear threat in the air. They pointed toward the door, eyes hard and unyielding. “Do it now, or I'll shoot you.”
Dazai’s grin didn’t falter. If anything, it widened, his eyes gleaming with that same unsettling amusement, as if the threat didn’t faze him in the slightest. He raised his hands in mock surrender, but his body remained relaxed, nonchalant, as though he were in complete control of the situation.
“Shoot me?” he mused, voice light but laced with something darker. “Now, now, Agent [name] that seems a bit extreme, doesn’t it?”
“You think I’m joking?” [name] growled, finger hovering dangerously over the trigger.
Dazai took a step closer, completely unbothered by the barrel pointed at him. His voice dropped to a near whisper, his eyes locking with theirs. “No, I don’t. That’s what makes this so exciting.”
There was a tension in the room now, thick and palpable. [name] held their ground, but Dazai’s calmness, his lack of fear—it was disarming. He was playing a game they weren’t sure they could win.
“Get out.” [name] demanded, not lowering the gun but sensing this encounter was only going to spiral deeper.
Dazai’s smile softened just a touch, his tone almost genuine. “Nope~!”
“You’re testing my patience,” [name] warned, heart pounding but steady, still aiming squarely at his chest.
“Good,” Dazai murmured, stepping back toward the balcony door. “I like it when people have limits. It gives me something to push.”
With a final glance, he gave them a playful wink. “Until next time, Agent.” Then, as quickly and casually as he had appeared, Dazai slipped out, leaving the tension in the room behind him like a lingering shadow.
[name] stood still, their gun still raised, breaths coming in heavy. The sense of danger hadn’t left—it was only a matter of time before he returned.
additional author notes : ending kinda sucked ass again smh..
word count: 1k
reposts are welcome but do not steal my work!
#❛ 𝒞 ⏖ melluvs writing. 𝜚 𓈒#dazai x male reader#bungo stray dogs#dazai osamu#writers#x male reader#bsd#bungo gay dogs#bsd dazai#bsd x gn reader#me obesssed with dazai? no…#dazai x gn!reader#dazai#dazai x gn reader#dazai x m!reader#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai x reader#writing grind time to do a yosano requests woohoo (kms)#i say things sometimes#...yeah#we rocking with ooc DONT we.. also why the fuck he smirk so much in this fics what the fuck
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[ 治 ] osamu dazai hcs.
genre : fluff , smut.
t.w : choking kink, suggestive info.
request on : dazai’s muscles.
author’s note : ahh, i’m sorry for the time it took for me to produce this ! it was really hard for me to find stuff on this and all, along with studies, but i hope this suits your liking, i tried my best. (and, don't apologize, have a good day to you as well.) anddddd... i also accidentally deleted the request, i’m so sorry ahh.. D: but whoever requested it this is for you <3.
sfw hcs.
— i feel like, although he may look weak from his physique, he’s rather strong, as seen in chapter 106.5.
— i would mention his chest size, but i do not know about ab sizes.. (surprisingly?)
— i feel like his chest would be a tad bit more muscular than average.
— his physique’s pretty slim, but that does not stop him from being strong though.
— he’d love to love to surprise you by just picking you up and carrying you in bridal style or over his shoulder (like a sack of potatoes).
— bro’s strong as hell though... like that one scene where he pushes sigma out of the elevator through? damn.
— i swear, you’d try to pick on him or like (lovingly) assault him and then he’d just pick you up ‘with little to no effort, barely breaking a sweat
— whenever you two hug, you can feel his one hand ruffling your hair and his head resting on yours, as well as his chest against your face.
nsfw hcs. — scroll away if you’re uncomfortable.
— although most people headcannon him as a rough dom, i’d feel like he’d be softer, but a bit degrading with his words. (such as “aren’t you needy, hun?” , “look at you, we’ve barely even started.”)
— anyways, other than that. he doesn’t really use his strength during it that much, since he likes it gentle and slow.
— whenever he does go rough though, he’ll let you cling onto his shoulders or his well-built, toned chest.
— would hold you down with his veiny, strong hands if you ever squirm too much, or just try to escape from him in general.
— he would definitely agokui you and kiss you while caressing your waist/hip/thigh area with his other hand.
— or he’d just take both of your hands in one of his and place a knee between your crotch, smirking deviously and then, whatever happens, it’s up to you tbh.
— when he’s feeling really rough or needy, he’d pin you down or tie you up, or even choke you.
— speaking of choking, if you happen to have a choking kink, he’ll use every chance to wrap his hand around your neck.
— whenever he’s eating you out, or sucking on you, he’d like to hold your thighs down with his hands, making sure you don’t fall or anything.
#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#dazai x reader#osamu x reader#dazai x y/n#dazai x you#dazai fluff#dazai smut#dazai scenarios#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bsd smut#bsd x reader#dazai x female reader#dazai x male reader#dazai x gn!reader
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ROUND 2 : PG.00 — well shit
ROUND 2: dazai osamu x gn!reader
SYNOPSIS: When you decided to attend Chuya's volleyball game, you didn't expect to see a familiar face. A face of someone you thought you would've never seen again; what's more annoying however, is seeing said face repeatedly.
TW: talks of a successful suicide
round 2 master list || next
OCTOBER 18 ; 18:07
IN ALL HONESTY, you were just there for the fact that you all were going to get ice cream afterwards. What you expected was for your team to win, everyone congratulates Chūya, then you both drive to get ice cream.
Your expectations came true, for the most part. Chūya's team won, but when him and other teammates were celebrating you catch a glimpse of a face you had presumed to have died.
Dazai Osamu. Now grown compared to the boy had once knew, still giving the same shit eating grin to a pissed off friend — not a mutual one this time.
Eyes locked onto him, afraid he was going to disappear on you like he had before, Chūya gently slaps your arm to get your attention, "What're you looking at?"
You simply point in the brunettes direction, still unmoving.
"What the fuck?" his eyes widen, two pairs of eyes now locked onto a man they haven't seen in three years.
A man they once knew.
His grin fell as he turned towards your direction, but there was nothing to be seen where you both once stood. "Huh, I swear I felt someone staring at me."
"What're you on about this time, Dazai?" the blond man raised a brow, adjusting the glasses on the bridge of his nose.
"Don't worry about it, it’s no longer a matter that’s important to me,” he replied.
“You’re not as edgy as you think when you talk like that.”
Your grip on Chūya's shoulder loosened, as you both slowly turned towards each other. "There's no fucking way that was him," Chūya muttered.
"And here we thought he actually succeeded in killing himself," you huffed out, "Of course he wouldn't be lucky enough for that to happen."
"Well, I guess our night's been ruined," he sighed, kicking his shoes against the gravel, "And you teleported us without letting me change out of my uniform."
"Did you want him to see us or not?" you ask, looking at the frustrated expression on his face.
"I doubt he'd do anything in the first place," he rolled his eyes, "Clearly he wanted to cut all ties with us and start fresh at another school, don't know how he'd manage that with how popular he was here."
"I guess he did grow taller and doesn't have a broken arm this time around," you shrug, amused at Chūya's eyebrow twitch at the mention of height. "Still has that insane look in his eye though, don't know how anyone can miss that.”
Chūya sighed, "Well, people are dumb. Now I'm gonna go change." As he begun to walk away he felt your eyes trailing on his figure, "Don't worry! I'll be back in under ten minutes, you won't be waiting long."
"Good," you say, not loud enough for him to hear though; you didn't feel like shouting right now. Unlocking your car, you hop into the drivers seat and went on your phone as you wait for Chūya.
'SHIT SHIT SHIT shit! Why would those guys be here of all places? To make themselves feel better? That’s actually kinda pathetic… Are they seriously glaring at the back of my head right now?’
Sitting in the booth by yourself, you swallow another serving of ice cream down your throat, pretending to observe the color changing spoon that you were given.
‘Ah yes, the spoon is changing from pink to blue. How cool.’
Tasting the remaining ice cream left on the spoon on your tongue, you glance behind you to see if they had moved and meet Dazai’s eyes.
He was standing behind his friends admiring all the ice cream flavors, his face blank as he continued his make-shift staring contest.
Your eyes widened slightly, but your gaze slightly hardened noticing the intense look in his eyes. You shift yourself so your legs are no longer hiding under the table; ready to get up if he wants to try something.
“Dazai! What flavor do you want?” a voice interrupted, but failed to shake his gaze.
“Cookies n’ cream.”
“Okay!”
A few more moments passed and the frown you initially wore didn’t change, the only thing that caused you both to break your gaze was a white-haired boy handing Dazai his ice cream.
Unbeknownst to you, the brunette looked back only to be met with the back of your head.
You continued to munch on your now somewhat melted ice cream as you could hear footsteps approach your booth.
A sigh made you look up to see a familiar redhead sitting across from you again, “What were you even trying to do there?”
“What do you mean?” you tilt your head as Chūya scooped his ice cream into his mouth.
“That staring contest you both did. Hella weird,” he elaborated.
“The bitch was staring at me and I ain’t no pussy so I stared right back,” you shrug, “Shit, I finished my ice cream.”
STICKY NOTES:
im trying my best to not unintentionally make this an enemies to lovers
TAGLIST : @heeslovr @atlasnessie @cvidy @rattyrattyratty @chaos-inperson [ if you want to be added, send me an ask or feel free to comment! ]
#round 2 - dazai osamu 🪞#dazai smau#dazai x reader#dazai osamu x reader#dazai x gn!reader#dazai x gn reader#dazai osamu x you#dazai osamu x y/n#dazai x you#dazai x y/n#bsd smau#bsd x gn reader#bsd x gender neutral reader#bsd x you#bsd x y/n#bsd x reader
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Could u do dazai x reader with ocd?
Featuring: Osamu Dazai x gn! ocd reader
Content: sfw, fluff, slightly angst, mention of some swearing words, I believe that's it?,
Author's note: hiiii anon, so sorry for the late response, I swear I was working on it since I received it. I'm also working on all of yall's requests - I'm not sure if you wanted a fic, drabble, or headcanon so I just did a rock paper scissors.
Word count: 1k
❥ Dazai is a smartass, quick witted even, and don't forget that he works at the agency as a detective so of course he will quickly notice how you constantly worry about things going wrong—whether it’s leaving your water bottle uncapped or making a mistake at work. He sees you zoning out at the office, caught in a loop of anxious thoughts, and quickly deduces that it’s more than just everyday stress.
❥ At first, before really getting to know you, he was just a quiet observer. But he never judged, not even once. He’s got his own mental shit to deal with, so he knows how fucked up minds can be. He’d make mental notes of your quirks, just in case he needed to handle them during a mission or whatever.
❥ As he gets to know you better, he figures out how sweet and lovely you are—unlike the twisted side of your mind. It’s like an addiction for him; he craves that balance. He enjoys being friends with someone who has their own dark side, just like he does. Maybe you’ll understand where he's coming from, push him to be a better version of himself.
❥ It’s only after your relationship becomes official that he feels entitled to meddle in your problems. He believes that getting involved in such matters is only appropriate once there’s a solid, established connection between you. Until then, he's just an observer.
❥ You were the one who approached him first, explaining that you have OCD. You felt more anxious than you’d anticipated, having considered telling him many times before but never managing to do so because your mind held you back. He remained calm, and it was only when he revealed that he had known all along that you felt embarrassed. In his typically laid-back manner, Dazai might say, “Oh, I’ve known about your OCD for a while now. You don’t need to be embarrassed—it's actually quite endearing. It doesn’t change a thing between us. We’ll work through it together, and honestly, it’s no big deal.”
❥ One day, while on a mission with him and Atsushi, you were deeply focused on analyzing the crime scene. You managed to uncover evidence that even Dazai had missed, piecing together how the victim was killed with remarkable accuracy.
❥ Needless to say that dazai was surprised by how quickly you cracked the complex case. Even after the murderer was arrested, you continued to ramble about additional details, anxiously checking the file in your hand and worrying about missing something, though there was nothing left to find. Eventually he stopped you, gently holding both your wrists. As you looked up, apologising profusely, he simply shushed you, saying, "It's fine. The case is solved, and we’ve caught the murderer."
❥ Atsushi the poor kid he is watched the exchange between you and Dazai with curiosity. When you reluctantly handed him the file with a nod, Atsushi leaned in and whispered to Dazai, asking if you were alright. Dazai simply smiled and replied, "They're just the perfect detective, doing their job flawlessly."
❥ Dazai is surprisingly attentive to your needs when it comes to your OCD. If you’re stuck in a loop of checking something multiple times, he’ll gently steer you away from it by engaging you in conversation or distracting you with a task. He might even playfully mock himself to make you laugh, using humor to ease your anxiety. “Looks like I’ve accidentally left my keys at home for the fifth time this week. Isn’t that a catastrophe?”
❥ If you’re particularly anxious about a big case or an important event, Dazai might surprise you with a comforting gesture. He could leave little notes or small tokens of reassurance in places you’d find them, like a hidden message in your desk drawer or a comforting snack in your bag.
❥ When you’re feeling overwhelmed, Dazai has a knack for knowing when you need space and when you need company. He might give you space to deal with your thoughts but always makes sure you’re not alone. He could show up with your favorite coffee or a calming playlist, knowing just when to intervene.
❥ Dazai might not always express it directly, but he has a deep understanding of how your OCD affects you and often subtly adapts his behavior to support you. He might avoid making sudden movements or loud noises if he knows it could trigger your anxiety. His sensitivity to your needs shows how much he cares.
❥ Dazai would likely offer reassurances in his own, less conventional way. Dazai might not be that sentimental boyfriend but he makes casual but heartfelt statements that affirm his love, such as “You’re the only one who can put up with my nonsense,” or “I can truly be myself with you, without a second thought.”
❥ Dazai would be more mindful of his humor, staying away from jokes or comments that might trigger your OCD. He might use humor in a way that’s supportive and aligns with your sense of comfort rather than distress.
❥ If someone makes fun of you, Dazai would likely handle it with a blend of nonchalance and protective instinct. He might casually brush off the mockery with a witty comment, like, “Oh, they’re just jealous of your intellect,” showing his confidence in you. If needed, he would also step in to defend you.
➵Want more of Osamu Dazai ?
#bungou stray dogs#bsd x reader#bsd x y/n#bsd x you#bsd angst#bsd dazai#bsd fluff#dazai headcanons#dazai x reader#dazai x gn!reader#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai bungou stray dogs#dazai osamu#dazai osamu x you#dazai osamu x reader#osamu dazai#dazai osamu x y/n#osamu x reader#dazai fluff#bsd headcanons#bsd x gender neutral reader#bsd x female reader#bsd#bsd manga#bsd atsushi#atsushi nakajima#bungou stray dogs atsushi#ada dazai#osamu dazai and the dark era#headcanon
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starry silence
dazai x reader my lil contribution to the chaos that was today's episode <3 not quite a reunion, but the aftermath of one ෆ. i'm happy he's safe & sound, but he must be so tired. :( sfw !! kind of sad bc i’m also dealing w jjk leaks i love being in pain (i don’t)
as dazai slept, moonlight cut across his face, highlighting the contours of his skin, the dark maroon cuts and bruises that had been littered across his face. though he seemed the image of a soldier home from war, his freshly washed hair and soft breaths turned him into something much more gentle. dark strands fell in soft waves over his head, shifting as he stirred, his inhale just a skip before his breathing evened out once more.
you traced his jaw, watching the steady streams of air flow through his chest, out his nose. he looked so angelic, so tender in that waxy moonlight, comprised of something otherworldly and earthly all at once.
a soft sigh left his lips as you traced his chin, and something about that sound of relief, of him relaxing completely under your palm, had you choking up. tears pricked at the edge of your waterline like sharp needles, each one filled with something poisonous.
dazai didn’t move, but you curled into a ball, squeezing your legs to your chest as he slept on.
he’d been out for hours, ever since he’d gotten out of the shower, collapsing in a pile of long limbs stretched toward every corner of the room.
the blankets were much kinder to him than the steel bed he’d slept on at meursault, where he’d always kept one eye open. now, though, even his own clothes fit him poorly, like the white prison pants that had hung so loosely off his waist.
under his t-shirt, the angles of his collarbone had become sharper, the planes of his stomach much flatter than you remembered. though his features had never been soft, even the skin of his cheeks had thinned, stress taking more of a toll on him than he'd admitted.
it was peaceful night outside, no sounds of screams to be heard in yokohama. you were certain that you’d absorbed every ounce of turmoil that had lingered in the city beyond your doorstep, and it gathered up in your chest like a bundle of fiery energy. something that you weren’t sure how to get rid of without bending over the porcelain toilet.
everything had resolved itself, hadn’t it? yet, you couldn’t shake the twisted anxiety that lingered in your chest, even when dazai was right beside you, sleeping soundly with no lasting injuries.
you rested your chin on your knees, letting that emptiness swallow you whole, disappearing somewhere that wasn’t entirely there. the steady rise and fall of dazai’s chest was the only thing that kept you grounded, kept you from drifting away, lost in a spiral of every possibility that hadn’t come to be.
a small sound of misery left your lips, and you bit down hard, tasting blood as two salty drops rolled down your cheeks. though the cry had been nearly inaudible, dazai heard it nonetheless, alway attuned to you, even the simple fluctuation of your heartbeat a beacon for him across the universe.
“what’s wrong, darling?” his words were quiet, like he was hesitant to break the atmosphere, in fear that he might startle you.
you blinked, not sure when your vision had become so blurry, and twisted your neck, letting your jaw rest against your shoulder. “nothing,” you said, but your smile was weak, and the word was hardly a sound at all.
dazai had tucked his cheek under his hands, blinking up at you with sleepy brown eyes that so resembled a child's. it hurt you all over again, that this aching soul who had never seen the beauty in himself had almost been taken away from you.
your lips parted, but the words halted at your tongue as you pinched your eyebrows together, trying to explain what exactly was within you. it wasn't quite sadness, but it wasn’t relief either, a cumulation of everything you’d ever felt, and something entirely new.
though, as always, dazai seemed to understand. he reached a hand out, fingers slender and delicate, placing them on your wrist. “it's not good to hold back your tears, my love.”
as if you’d just been waiting for dazai’s permission, you shook once more, silently, the tears rolling down your cheeks faster, harder. he sat up, bringing you closer with every moment, until you were wrapped in his warm arms. ones that were battered and bruised, but still the safest place in the world.
he smelled clean, more like himself than he had when you had reunited with him, and that fact alone sent another nauseating wave of emotion over you. you gripped his shoulders, his chest, unable to get any closer, even as you tried to fuse yourself into his being, turn yourselves into one whole that could never again be separated.
dazai kissed your temple, holding you as you cried, saying nothing until you could form the words to explain the ache that in the deepest part of your stomach, stretching to the back of your throat.
“i was so close to losing you, osamu,” you said, and even if dazai denied it, even if he said he’d always had it under control, you knew that wasn’t true. one slip up, one miscalculation, and you never would’ve seen him again. a single error by chuuya, by ango, by yourself…
dazai’s fingers twitched against your spine, and he, for once, was faced with uncertainty. like he hadn’t considered what would’ve been ahead of you when he was gone for good, even if his death would always be a possibility. even if you'd always known that if the world wouldn’t kill him, maybe he’d do it himself.
“i’m here,” dazai said, and it wasn’t a promise, but it wasn’t a lie, and you'd accept it for what it was woth. “I’ll be here.”
there was no way to predict how long that would hold true, but you’d grasp that last spark of hope tightly nevertheless. you'd shelter it away in your loving embrace until the universe clawed it from your bloody palms, stealing the very last light that it had dropped down from heaven into your life.
and that would have to be enough.
"i probably won't write anything abt the episode, i really need to work on—" … rylie is such a silly liar (´。• ◡ •。`) ♡
#sorry this was done in like 30 mins#pls forgive any errors :(#osamu dazai x you#dazai x reader#osamu dazai x reader#dazai osamu x you#dazai x you#dazai angst#bsd x reader#bsd angst#dazai x fem reader#dazai x y/n#osamu dazai imagines#dazai imagines#dazai osamu x reader#xoxo rylie 💌 ୧⋆ ˚。⋆#dazai x gn!reader#dazai osamu x y/n#osamu x you#xoxo rylie 💌 ⋆ ˚。⋆
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𝐍𝐎 𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒, 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐒 & 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒.
I have included a ‘daily click’ with a link that sends you to a site where you can help to deliver support to palestinian refugees with just a click. please take the time to click on the link each day to help and do what you can, thank you.
summary : in which you walk in on dazai and one of his unexpected habits.
genre : angst to fluff, comfort
warnings : mentions and links to overthinking, sad dazai :(, not proof read.
a/n : hi my beauties, it’s been a while since i’ve wrote anything so i hope you all enjoy this in honour of chapter 114 :3
dividers belong to @/benkeibear!
masterlist | main page | daily click
Dazai was a man of many things. He had many demons. Ones that would sometimes crawl up his back at night like a pitiful insect that could cause a shiver up one’s spine as they lay awake at night thinking of the things they could’ve done better. A perfect way to describe Dazais night as he stares at the naked ceiling with dull eyes as you sleep right next to him ever so peacefully.
He had dragons he couldn’t possibly dare to slay as they were just too undefeatable even for someone as calculating and conniving as Dazai. No matter how many plans ending in alphabetical order he tried to create, those dragons would always somehow manage to slide and slither like a snake into his mind. They were fake, the dragons of course. He convinced himself that most nights. ‘These worries will pass’ He’d tell himself, and most nights they did.
But not this time, this time it was much worse. Like a wave crashing on the shore, so did Dazai’s mental state crash as it crumbled before him like a king on his heavy throne without a protective shield to protect him from the things he hated.
It was a stressful day for you. This morning had been an absolute disaster for you as you had woken up way past your alarm and your lover was nowhere to be found. Sure, he might have just been doing his daily errands or doing whatever but for one, Dazai wasn’t quite the morning person and two, he was acting awfully..odd last night, and it was the kind of odd that you wouldn’t consider to be your lovers.
“Don’t you ever think that we..were born to die..?”
You furrow your eyebrows as you turn on your side to face your lover in the twin sized mattress you two were both quite comfortable on.
“Elaborate?” You ask.
“We as humans, live for a while, and then die..isn’t that our only purpose?”
“What, just to die? I don’t know maybe..” You answer, propping your head up with your arm, pressing your elbow into the soft material of the mattress.
“Hm..” He answers mindlessly. It was short and abrupt, but you could feel the tense aura in the room as he stared blankly up at the ceiling.
“..Something on your mind..?” You ask in a soft tone. Reaching your hand out slowly to brush some messy hairs back from his face. He always looked better with his hair off his face anyway.
He turns to you with a smile, but not one of the sweet and sunny ones, oh no. This one had sorrow.
It was such a sad smile. One of woe and pain that not even words of the finest lips could speak to convey such torment.
“Just peachy.” He replies, but you both knew that was such a lie.
“Y/N.” Kunikidas curt voice snaps you out of the reigns of your own sorrow. “You’re free to leave.”
“Huh..?”
“I understand you are not in the correct mindset to resume your work duties. So please, feel free to head home.”
Your eyes widen as you furrow your eyebrows in sympathy at the man. Were you that readable?
“Oh, Kunikida there’s no need really-“
“It’s an order.” He interrupts, not a single change in his expression as he tells you so. “It’s an order from me that you go home and take care of yourself.”
Silence fills the small work space you two find yourself in as you can only nod, standing up in the same silence as you quickly gather your things and turn to the door.
“And Y/N.” Kunikida speaks again, to which you turn your head over your shoulder to see that his expression had changed just a little bit, to one of concern.
“If you ever need to speak to someone. I’m here.”
You smile, a short but sweet one that shows you appreciate his kindness.
“Thank you.” You whisper. Kunikida returns the favour with the same short kind smile you gave him, before returning to his same demeanour and professionalism as he says one last thing.
“And tell damn Dazai to come in for his paperwork also..I’m getting worried about the bastard.”
This makes you frown as you turn to leave. Dazai hasn’t been in the whole day? Then just where the hell is he..?
You walked home with an umbrella over your head as the weather spat rain from the skies. ‘What a perfect way to capture the mood’ you thought as you looked down at your feet splashing against the wet tiles of concrete on the ground as you walked on the sidewalk.
You soon reach home after the boring walk to your apartment. You jingle the keys into the lock before walking into your ‘homey home’.
That’s when, you noticed something on the shoe rack. Shoes of the man you loved oh so dearly. Dazai was here! You can’t ignore the jump in your heart when you recognise his presence.
Given the fact that you couldn’t hear any footsteps or sounds coming from the kitchen or living room, you can only imagine that he was upstairs in the comfort of your bedroom you two shared together. You look up the staircase and began your adventure upward.
Once you head upstairs, you head towards your room, you could hear the sounds of..shuffling? which you could only assume was your lover doing whatever it was he was doing in your room. You expected something stupid, as that’s what he was normally known for doing. So you expected something of the sort.
What you didn’t expect however, was to find said lover rolling along the carpet of your bedroom floor.
But, here he was - rolling. What an odd thing to say..
Silence fills the room once he realises you’re in the room. He abruptly stops and leans up to see you.
“..Hi.”
“..Hi my love.” You say, still in a bit of shock after seeing this..delightful sight.
“..So you probably have questions..” He begins to say, looking off at the wall beside you to avoid eye contact from this awkward exchange. You only smile at him, before shaking your head.
“I do, but not related to what you’re doing.” You say, before closing the door and making your way over to him.
He snaps his head to look at you, furrowed eyebrows and a look of confusion pair well together as he looks at you with bewilderment as you stand above him, suggesting to the floor.
“May I?” He smiles at this.
“..You may.” He replies, scooting over to make room.
Your smile remains as you shimmy off your coat and place it on the bed before you sit on the floor and lay down next to him, turning your head to face him with the same kind smile.
“Are you alright?” You ask in a soft tone, the same soft tone you use with him that he loves so dearly.
“Just peachy.” He replies, and you recognise this conversation all over again.
“I know that’s a white lie.” You reply, urging to push further. Dazai hates to lie to you, but sometimes he does to protect you. But he knows now he simply can’t lie another time to you. His heart knows better.
“Just a little..” He replies, smiling mischievously as you flick his forehead playfully.
“Please talk to me.” You plea, furrowing your eyebrows in a rush of worry. He mirrors your expression as he realises just how concerned you actually are.
“I’m worried about you.”
Well, this was new. To Dazai atleast. He knew you cared and worried of course, but to hear you say such words awakened a type of emotion he didn’t have in him. It was a little punch in the stomach that made his insides churn with warmth, he didn’t know what to call it.
“..I’m sorry.” He begins with a soft tone, grabbing your hand gently and holding it to his lips as he presses a gentle, apologetic kiss to the knuckles of your hand.
“Oh, why are you apologising my love..? You mustn’t..” You whisper as you take his same hand that was holding yours and press it to your lips, now kissing his knuckles also.
A moment of silence passes before he takes a deep breath to answer. This would be a hurdle, but he knows he’ll need to jump for you.
“..I get like this sometimes.” He answers. “I get these thoughts. I like to think of them as dragons..because they’re like big and powerful. That’s what my thoughts are like.”
You nod in understanding, beckoning him to continue.
“..and sometimes they just get..too much for me to handle.”
You furrow your eyebrows in concern again, to which Dazai reaches his finger up and rubs your crease away.
“Don’t frown, you’ll get wrinkles.” He teases as a way to cheer you up from this confession. You let out a chuckle, reaching out to brush his messy hair off his face.
“You always look better with your hair off your face..” You say, to which you can see him smile. But not a sad one, oh no, this one was a genuine one. You could tell.
“I have been trying to control them, I don’t just let them haunt me.” He reassures and continues. “That’s why I’ve been away the whole day. I tried to go out for a walk early in the morning.” He shrugs.
“It’s also why I’m laying down here.” He confesses. “It..somehow relaxes me, calms me, helps me to organise my thoughts.”
You smile. “It’s unexpected, but healthy. I’m glad you’re finding better ways to cope, Samu.”
“Thanks my love.” He responds as he leans forward and kisses your forehead, to which you pull him in for a big hug, rubbing his back gently.
“..I’ve had a shit day..” You whisper.
“I’ve also had a shit day..” He whispers back.
“We’ve had a shit day.” You laugh into his shoulder, he laughs with you as he presses a kiss to your head.
He pulls away as he sits up, holding your hands to help you sit up too. You face him at the same eye level as you finally ask the dreaded question.
“..Why didn’t you tell me..?”
To this his smile slowly fades, but he smiles softly as he rubs your hands.
“To protect you, I guess. I don’t want to drag you down. Don’t want the dragons getting to you.” He jokes with the last part, to which you smile and say.
“I’ll slay dragons with you anyday.” You squeeze his hand, he squeezes back in return.
“But!” You swipe your hand away from his, to which he’s a bit taken back with.
“No lies next time. If you’re feeling down, please turn to me if you need a helping hand, okay?”
He smiles at your face, the face he loves so much. He takes your hand and presses one last kiss to your knuckles.
“No lies, only truths.” He promises, before he leans in to give you a sweet but firm kiss on the lips. “and kisses.” He smirks and gives you a cheeky wink.
“Oh wow.” You sarcastically reply, rolling your eyes as you can’t hide the smile you have on your face. “You’re adorable.”
At times like these, Dazai cherishes. He cherishes so hard that he feels that if you took his brain out he’d have memories literally ingraved inside his mushy brain of things he cherished.
You were the most kindest, selfless, and loveable human being Dazai could have ever asked for. He was so grateful for you.
Not only does he have a lover, but a friend, and also a partner he can slay dragons with any-day and night. No dragon was too big for the both of you.
✿ riiwrites 2024 ; please refrain from copying, plagiarising or reposting my work anywhere else without crediting.
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#𝐫𝐢𝐢𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 ༄#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bsd x reader#bsd headcanons#fluff#bsd x you#bsd dazai#bsd osamu dazai#dazai headcanons#bungo stray dogs dazai#osamu dazai x reader#bsd dazai osamu#angst#dazai angst#dazai#dazai x reader#dazai bsd#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai osamu#dazai x you#dazai x reader fluff#dazai x fem reader#dazai x y/n#dazai x male reader#dazai x gn!reader#osamu dazai#dazai osamu x you#osamu x reader#dazai x reader angst
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Dazai x GN!Reader drabble
NSFW CONTENT AHEAD, PROCEED WITH CAUTION
♡ ♡ ♡
Thinking about Dazai casually cornering you, backing you against a wall. A knee slotted between your thighs, caging you in place as he crowds into your space. God, that slow smirk as he watches you realize he’s got you trapped. His hand on your neck, thumb toying with your jaw. It’s only resting there lightly— he doesn’t need force to keep control. And the way he leans in to kiss you, stopping just short of your lips to tease you. How he huffs out a small laugh as you chase his mouth with your own. Instead of closing the gap, he angles your head aside to whisper in your ear, “On your knees.”
♡ ♡ ♡
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Masterlist
#I almost never write dom dazai but something possessed me today idk#rashoumon writes#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd dazai#dazai bsd#top dazai#dazai smut#dazai x gender neutral reader#dazai x gn!reader#dazai x reader#dazai x you#dazai x y/n#bsd drabbles
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HESITATION.
⋆ Character: 15!Dazai x Reader
⋆ Summary: In which Dazai wants to confess.
⋆ Genre: hurt no comfort(?) , slight fluff at the end
A/N: My first time writing and my first fanfic ever lol, and I apologize for any grammar mistakes since english is not my first language (๑•﹏•)
1.5k ish words
Dazai took you to the beach, insisting that he had something confidential to share with you and that he made you pinky promise to never tell 'slug', a bit confused but you obliged anyway, you let him drag you, his hand grasping onto your sleeve tightly as he walked hurriedly to the beach, where the sun was about to set.
He huffed, his chest puffing up and down as sweat started to gather in his face making his bangs stick to his bandaged forehead, the sun lit up the whole beach with a warm orange tint and Dazai looked over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of you, you faced the sun with your eyes squinted and your mouth slightly agape in a half smile he could hear your soft murmuring in awe at the breathtaking sight of the sunset,
'if Dazai had to choose which one is the brightest he'd pick your smile over the sun'
Dazai's breath hitched at the thought and he stopped abruptly making you bumped forward into his back—
'...since when did he become so vulnerable in front of you? ...maybe this was a stupid idea, he could just walk off right now and says that he's just messing around with you, shrugging it off playfully and pretend it never happened or he could just run away—'
"So... What is it?" You ask and Dazai snapped out of his trance, his whole body went stiff, you raised an eyebrow, tilting your head to the side to catch a glimpse of his face but when you take a peek over his shoulder, he immediately blinks as he looks away.
'...he doesn't know what to do with all of this feeling, it feels so overwhelming and it makes him so vulnerable in front of you.'
But eventually he clears his throat before he turns around to face you and he quickly looks down his gaze focused on the sands, and you've never seen him so... abashed, he looks so shifty and on edge, his hands clasped together, his fingers fidgeting against the edge of his bandages.
'what is he supposed to say to you now that you're right here in front him...?'
"I..." He murmured and he closed his eyes, "I... Uhm." you tilt your head to the side again to search for his face, nodding slightly as a silent encouragement for him to continue to speak, one of his hands slowly reaches up and you look down at it wondering what he's going to do and judging by the trembling of his fingers he doesn't seem to know what to do either.
"I think i...-"
His fingers curls and with a tentative smile...
"...I think you're an idiot." he shows his middle finger in front of you and he's quick to run away from you before you could punch him in the face, you shouted in annoyance and he laughed mockingly.
'...in the end, he ran away but he promised himself he'll try again someday.'
#✎ᝰ. . .writing#bsd x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#dazai x reader#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#bsd fanfic#bsd x you#bsd x y/n#bsd imagines#bsd x gender neutral reader#dazai x gn!reader
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hmm I hope I did this right :'D
- Where's My love, SYML w/ Dazai :o + romantic !
Where's My Love?
Pairing: Dazai Osamu x Gn! Reader
Type: Oneshot
Genre: Angst
Warnings: major character death, implied suicide, blood descriptions, mentions of death, cutting, implied death.
Synopsis: Dazai always tries to find his lover and when he sees them, he only says a 'hello' but never did he say his goodbye.
A/n: Thank you for requesting! Reader is refered to as 'them' or 'they'. Hope you'll like this! Dw you did it correct! Italic for flashbacks
Event // Ada.Masterlist // M.Masterlist
There was nothing he could feel, he held the cold and lifeless corpse of his lover; just as he did to his dear friend a few days ago. Cold pulse, it was the only thing he could find; coldness, just as who he was before he met them. How hard he tried to find the love they once held in their eyes. He didn't mind his bleeding hand, he could only focus on holding them. His bloodied hand was mostly theirs and a small mix of his. The tears that dripped to his scarred hand made it sting; just like a wound topped with salt. He tried to make their heart beat once again but it was hopeless, they only held him dearly—as if they were fine and smiled before their eyes completely shut; never to open again. He screamed their name at the top of his lungs before he slowly laid their body on the floor, just like they were resting. He walked away, numb tears escaping his hazel eyes. The room was illuminated by the warm sun they once loved, and the crimson blood was oozing out of the three bullet holes on their chest. He tightly clenched his hand, not minding how much it hurt from the wound. The rain started to pour while the bright and orange sunset was covered with dark, thundering storms. He walked away, turning his back on everything, the Port Mafia, Chūya, his crimes, Oda and you.
"Dazai-san? Are you there? Kunikida-san called me and told me to go to work with you." Atsushi knocked on a small apartment room owned by the Agency.
Dazai sat up and looks at his hand again. It was clean, no blood was leaving his body through a wound that once was. A mark was left there, a memoir that the day he got that wound was the one where he failed to save you.
"That dream again.."
A few tears escapes his eyes and landed itself on his hand, just as that day. He wiped them away after hearing Atsushi knock on the door again.
"Yeah I'm here Atsushi-kun!" He said through the door, trying to sound as cheerful as possible though his voice came out dry and hoarse.
"Are you okay Dazai-san? Are you sick?!" Atsushi asks, his tone full of worry and franty.
"Nop! I just woke up so please wait for me in a few minutes Atsushi-kun!" He said in his usual cheery tone making Atsushi sigh in relief. Dazai's words soon registered in his mind, and he began to panic.
"But Kunikida-san will scold both of us for being late!"
"It's fineee! Its just going to be the same old Kunikida!" He tried explaining while ramaging through his drawer, trying to find his bandages.
"But—"
"I'm gonna be quick Atsushi-kun, I'm just going to dress! You don't want me to go to the agency shirtless do you?" He said in a spiteful voice, wrapping his arms, hands, neck and torso with leftover bandages.
"eww no!"
"exactly" Dazai replied before wearing his shirt and vest. He glances at the scar again before opening the door and throwing in his overcoat.
"Let's go Atsushi-kun!"
He skipped to the agency with Atsushi behind him. They got scolded by Kunikida but it the end he was the one that took his hour long lecture and Dazai got punished by him.
The day passed again, and the moon showed in the midnight sky. Dazai was laying in his futon, staring at the dark ceiling, bottles of sake throws across the floor. He turned his head beside and saw them, a worried look was plastered on their face as they looked at him. He knew that his mind was playing games with him, despite that he came to caress their cheek to feel their warmth; but they disappeared, and his hand only met the cold and empty sheets beside. He clenched his fists tight before standing up and grabbing his overcoat and leaving his messy apartment. Walking in the dark streets lighted by the faint moonlight, was something both of them used to do. He gently smiled at the small memory before continuing to walk, he arrived at a small greeny fields in the outskirts of the city.
"Darling! Osamu! Wait up!" They said before panting.
"You really need to run faster my love!" He turned around and saw them with furrowed eyebrows. He chuckled before going to them.
"You're so unfair! I'm on my slippers because you called me and told me it was an emergency!" They pouted, taking his assistance and grabbing his hand for support.
"It is an emergency! I was bored and I missed you!" He pointed out.
"Haii.. whatever.. Don't you dare try to lie to me" They sighed shooting him a worried look before caressing his bruised cheek, and he leaned on her hand.
"What do you mean love?" He sent them a cheeky smile, trying to feign innocence and ignorance.
"Osamu." They said his name in a serious tone, and he only laid his head down.
"I-its nothing" He quietly muttered, getting closer to them, trying to feel their warmth.
"Shh, it's okay. I'm here" The hand cupping his cheeks snaked it's way to the back of his head, as he leaned his head into their shoulder.
Their hand slowly and gently patted the back of his head while he hugged them. The silent crickets are the only thing that was heard. He felt scared, he didn't want them to know his line of job in fear that they would leave him. They were a civilian and he was a mafioso—no an executive of the Port Mafia, the rulers of the night. He needed comfort, he wanted to tell them how his friend betrayed them and now the other was dead; but he couldn't, he was afraid of them abandoning him too. Nobody spoke a word, they didn't bother to ask him more, they just waited for him to open up. They gently hummed a tune as they waited for him, their voice was like a lullaby that comforted a scared and crying child.
The event plays on his mind, seeing illusions of that day in the fields, he could not remember what happened afterwards. He put his hands on the pockets of his overcoat as his fingertips got colder and colder. Walking to a small cliff near the ocean, a name was carved in a rock just near the edge, beside it, was a fresh bouquet of roses. He leaned against the grave as he closed his eyes, reminiscing the old memories.
"Hello love... I missed you" He gently smiled, feeling the cold breeze pass.
A faint voice whispered comfort in his ear.
"I missed you too.. tell me.. is that little girl, the one you told me about—Kyoka, I think—is she okay?"
He felt his hair ruffle, as if someone was playing it just like they did. He wanted to open his eyes to know who it was, but he knew that they would disappear just as he looks behind. He knew that he was just thinking how they would respond but he didn't mind it.
"Mhm.. the conflict was over and the Moby Dick returned to the ocean... Kyoka's now home with the agency" He whispered, trying to feel their warm.
"That's good.. How is the agency treating you.?"
"hmm.. Atsushi-kun is as usually kind.—" he faintly smiled.
"—oh, Kunikida tied me to a chair earlier and beat me up because I was late, it hurt a lot. Ouch" He dramatically whispered and they faintly laughed in return. Silence once again came, the howling winds and the clashing waves are the only things that can be hear besides his lone heartbeat.
"Come back to me please.." His voice cracked. He heard no response, he opened his eyes and looked behind to see nothing but a view of the night sky and the dancing leaves. A part of the cloudy sky was clear, showing the moon perfectly, as if it made way for someone to go high above.
"I'll go to you soon love.. and if the heavens forbid it... I'll fight against God myself just to return to your embrace" He sat up and glanced at the grave once again before finally returning to his apartment.
He closed his door and muttered a small "I'm home" hoping for someone to respond. Taking off his shoes and overcoat, he took a blade from his bathroom drawer, and then made himself comfortable in the bathtub. He rolled up his sleeves and sat up, positioning the blade just perfectly on the veins in his wrist. With one quick and deep slash, blood started gushing out of his left wrist. He winced in pain, taking the blade once again, he slashed his right wrist; it was less deep than the cut in his other wrist but nonetheless, it was deep. Blood started to drip to his garments and bathtub, his vision started to blur and he leaned completely to the wall, closing his eyes. At the last moments of his life, he remembered what happened after that day.
"Hey... If you don't want to tell me it's okay, but don't ever try to hide your emotions from me.." They smiled at him, their fingers playing with his hair.
"What do you mean? I don't hide them—" He left their embrace and tried to put on a facade.
"Osamu. You don't need to hide them" They said, walking upfront, their voice was full of calmness, just like a lullaby. Their arms was behind them, their right hand holding their left arm
"Fine... But let me ask you this then." He looked at their back with a serious tone.
"Why did you come in the middle of the night to a cliff just because I told you to do so?" He asked, his gaze following them as they walked forward to the edge, admiring the moon. They continued to hum before they responded to his question.
"Because I love you" They turned around and smiled at him. They put a strand of hair behind their ear, as the wind passed by.
"mmm.." He opened his eyes to see their illusion planting a kiss on his forehead.
"I..finally..found..you...." His voice slowly faded into nothing but air.
It was as if time stopped for a mere second. The pain that engulfed him whole was now only faint. Their warmness returned to him and his vision completely faded to black, submitting to the sleepiness he held after hearing them hum his favorite tune...
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