#Deadpool mcu
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hurtspideyparker · 10 months ago
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Logan and Wade in the Honda Odyssey, a sex metaphor:
The fighting was purely for a release of energy and emotion since they regenerate
The constant penetration of weapons over and over, Logan smiling in satisfaction during the penetration
"I take it all back, the Honda Odyssey fucks hard. Too bad you don't, needle-dick" "oh we're just getting started bub" they're literally flirting.
The grunting, panting, yelling.
Come hither hand motions, asking for more, the rocking of the car
Constantly on top of each other, rolling around, switching positions
Staying in the car. There is no reason to fight inside the car/keep going back in, but it forces their proximity and cars are a common place for sex
Their bodily fluids sprayed all over each other and the vehicle (blood... or)
There was a time skip.
Seatbelt bondage
Exhausting themselves and sleeping next to each other afterwards
In summary; they totally fucked in that thing
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jakegyllenbaalz · 10 months ago
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literally the realest thing i’ve seen today
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animentality · 11 months ago
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Bringing Chris Evans back to the MCU but having him play JOHNNY STORM from the old Fantastic Four movie is fucking brilliant.
the best fucking joke ever made.
I was actually screaming when he yelled flame on, it just took me so off guard.
and thank god they let that man swear.
Deadpool and Wolverine really saved the MCU in my mind.
Finally some good fucking content.
Someone in the MCU with some fucking bite.
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sporadicallychill · 9 months ago
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Logan: I think I'm in love with Wade. Thoughts?
Blind Al: And prayers
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juridical-angel-blog · 7 months ago
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Abstract Painting Superheroes MCU & DCEU!
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willymontana · 10 months ago
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[REVIEW FOR DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE, SPOILER ALERT FOR THE CAMEOS BUT NOT THE PLOT]
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Okay, I wanna start this out by saying that I am NEITHER a professional movie critic NOR a huge movie geek NOR a comic book geek. I'm just someone with some thoughts about a movie I enjoyed recently and wish to share. My opinion doesn't reflect the general consensus and y'all can agree or disagree all you want, just be nice about it, please🥲
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I've anticipated this movie for a long time as a casual Deadpool fan. When Disney acquired the rights to the character, I, like many, was worried that Mr. Bob was gonna try to family-friendly-ify Deadpool. There was also the fact that the quality of many Marvel projects since Endgame has gone downhill, which made me stop keeping up with them for a while. But Ryan Reynolds is passionate about Deadpool, he said it himself (I believe), and I quite enjoyed the first 2 movies despite not having seen them in a while. So I, with a couple of friends, walked into the cinema last Monday with a pretty high expectation. And oh boy did I come out feeling so goddamn high.
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First of all, the CHARACTERS. The man of the hour, Deadpool, still has all of his charms. The jokes, narration, fourth-wall breaking, violence, dirty-ass innuendos, etc. are all very much still present. His growth from the previous movies carried on in this showing. Of course, he's still your good ol' merc with a mouth but now rather than acting out for selfish reasons, he always puts his found family and friends first, even if it means stop being Deadpool or losing them and never seeing them again (this growth might have been present already in Deadpool 2 but hey, like I've said, it's been a while). Another thing I'm utmost joyful about his characteristic this time around is that Deadpool is finally fruitier🤭. For those who don't know, Deadpool is canonically pansexual (don't believe me, look up the Deadpool/spiderman 2016 comic run, the girlies in dying of a new otp; you'll thank me later). And seeing such a big part of his character unapologetically being represented on a big screen is truly fulfilling. Ryan really pulled off one heck of a performance here and it really shows his passion and dedication for the character.
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Next up is Wolverine. I've got to be honest with y'all: I wasn't a big Wolverine or X-men fan, not for any particular reason besides many fans and critics alike weren't too fond of the live-action movies. So I've passed out on the X-men franchise, even the highly-regarded Logan from 2017. This movie is actually my first introduction to Hugh Jackman as Wolverine and I must say, he REALLY did the damn thing. The gestures, his accent, the aggressiveness, they told me exactly who this character is. And I really was just blown away by Hugh's performance. I've only seen him through The Greatest Showman and some interviews, he seems like a pretty nice guy. So, to see him pull off the whole aggressive act and do it so well and flawlessly, I was speechless. I also love the redemption arc the writers gave to 'The Worst Wolverine'; it might not have been as epic as Logan from what I've heard, but it was solid.
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The plot, what is there to say about it except EVERYTHING. Ryan Reynolds really gets the audience and also pop culture in general. I understand and hollered at most of the jokes and references. The soundtrack is absolutely FIRE. We have the mesmerizing BYE BYE BYE by NSYNC dance sequence at the beginning, the suit-up scene with GLAMOROUS by Fergie in the background, a road-trip montage with I'M WITH YOU by Avril Lavigne playing on the radio. Heck, there's also a lovey-dovey-stabby-bloody scene featuring YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I WANT from Grease for all the goldies out there. As a US-UK pop music enthusiast, I was like a kid in a candy store. And also, how can I forget about the EPIC battle near the end that used LIKE A PRAYER by Madonna?😩 All I have to say is 'fantastic, glorious, EXTRAORDINARY'. Ryan went through one hell of a journey just to get the license to the song and he sure did make the most out of it. I'm not kidding when I say that that montage is probably one of the best I've ever seen (I might be a little biased 'cause I love that song but the scene, overall, is truly incredible). And while we're on the topic of action and montages here, everything was beautifully filmed. The fighting sequences were such a treat to watch, nothing ever felt too busy to the point of not being able to focus on anything. Also, Ryan and the Mouse did not spare any expenses when it came to cameos. My gosh, like I've mentioned above, I was in the dark when it came to everything mutants-related, but even I was able to recognize a few familiar faces that fans online would go crazy over. And in addition, when Blake Lively came out as Ladypool, I literally lost my shit. She looked so good, her body was SNATCHED, like HELLO MOTHER???💅 But all these amazing cameos and jokes brought out what I considered the downside to the movie. I felt that the plot was outshined by them. To be clear, the plot was not bad but it wasn't that spectacular either. And when the credit started rolling, it was the thing I remembered the least.
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Overall, I really enjoyed this movie. I had a great time at the cinema and laughed out loud with friends. Sure, there might be a few flaws, but the product, in general, is truly outstanding and worth checking out. I, your casual movie enjoyer, rate this movie 9/10❤️
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dreamofbetterthings · 10 months ago
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Finally Home Wolverine x mutant! Reader
Prompt: “I’ve spent forever thinking about what I’d say to you when I saw you again. Now that you’re here in front of me, I can’t seem to find the words.”
VIP: Logan Howlett aka Wolverine (Played by Hugh Jackman)
Universe: X-Men (Originally Fox), Marvel
Summary: Wade was a man of his word, and managed to get Logan back to his universe, right into the arms of someone he hasn't seen in ten years.
Warnings: This is a different ending from Deadpool and Wolverine. Minor spoilers for the plot. Reader is basically a modern-day avatar (The last air bender universe, not the Jake Sully blue folks lol) since all the good powers are already taken haha. Also, The Last Stand doesn't exist in this universe because I refuse to acknowledge the pain I had watching that movie.
A/N
Holy cow I took my boyfriend to see Deadpool and Wolverine, and we loved it! Originally, there were a couple of stories for these two individually that I had in my WIPS, but I just needed to get a couple of stories out while the movie was still fresh in my mind. The ending might be a little out of character for Wade and Logan, but I had no idea how to end it, so it is what it is. Once again, minor spoilers ahead for the film. I'll have another one out soon for you all.
Enjoy!
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Logan was never one to be straightforward with his emotions. Nobody knew what he was thinking, or how he felt about anything. The only thing he managed to convey was anger and rage. Not now though. The party at Wade's apartment was in full swing, and everybody was having a good time knowing their existence wasn't on the verge of collapsing.
Almost everyone, anyway.
Logan sat on the couch and watched Wade interact with his friends, his newfound family, and that damn dog. He watched as they all smiled and joked with each other, passing food and drinks about. It was a domestic life that he hadn't quite learned to adapt. He almost did though, with you. Logan pulls a photo out of his jeans and a melancholy look spreads across his face as he looks at it.
"That's not fair, you can teleport!" Brushing what was left of the water balloon off your clothes, Kurt shrugs his shoulders. "You'll just have to be faster and catch me!" You quickly aim before he disappears again, leaving you without a target.
It was a sunny day, thanks to Storm, and Charles decided to give the students a break. With so much going on in the last few months, everyone was exhausted. He thought it would be a good idea to set up a pool and let everyone relax. Most of them were just kids after all, and they were pushed so much harder than they needed to be for the sake of a world that won't always accept them. They yearned for a day to be themselves, to be kids, and today, was that day.
Everybody was outside either in or by the pool. Students were chasing each other with water balloons and water guns. Others were taking turns jumping into the pool, or playing water polo, or volleyball. There was a barbeque off to the side when the kids got hungry, and of course, alcohol for the adults. The sun was out, and it gave a warm contrast to the nippy water of the pool. The X-Men team, the adults anyway, were sitting in lounge chairs or standing around, making sure the kids were being careful and not hurting themselves. Storm was even walking around and taking pictures of everyone having fun, mentioning she wanted to get them developed and put in a scrapbook. A memento of when life was easier and calm.
Then there was Logan. Off to the side drinking a beer, watching everyone have a good time. He wasn't much for the domestic life, as he didn't make a habit of getting close to people. But, these were his people, and he was thankful to find a community that accepted him as he was, even if he would never say it out loud. He watched all the kids run around, but his eyes always found their way back to you. You looked happy and relaxed, even when chasing Bobby or Colossus around with water in your hands. This was a huge contrast from how you looked during the missions you went on. It was a good look for you.
Logan was pulled from his thoughts when a sudden burst of cold hit his chest. Looking down, he noticed his once-dry black shirt was sticking to his body, water dripping from it. All the kids gasped and stopped their movements. Charles looked at his friend, a slightly amused look on his face. He looked around, trying to figure out who had just signed their death wish before his eyes once again landed on you. Standing next to the pool, you looked around, pretending like you didn't just water bend to hit him from across the yard. Logan did something that confused everyone. He simply grunted, wiping off his shirt before taking another drink of his beer. Everyone relaxed and continued to have fun, although slightly surprised at the lack of reaction from the stoic man.
You had stopped the antics and started talking with Scott, asking him how things had been with him and Jean. The last mission put a bit of a strain on their relationship. Your back was to Logan, so you didn't see when he put down his beer and started to creep up towards you. Scott noticed when he finally made his way behind you but decided not to say anything. After finishing his sentence, Scott quickly excused himself and stepped away. That was when Logan decided to grab you from behind.
You screamed from suddenly getting picked up and tried to reason with the man as he walked towards the pool. "Logan, come on, let's talk about this for a second. You don't have to do this. I'm sorry, please just put me down!" Unfortunately, your pleas fell on deaf ears, and the others sat there laughing as Logan hurled you into the pool. The kids all yelled in excitement. They'd been trying to get you in the water for hours. Had they known it was that easy, they would've splashed Logan themselves earlier. When you finally came up for air, everybody was laughing, and you even heard a couple of shutter clicks from Storm's camera.
Logan just stood there with an amused smirk on his face. You fake pouted before he came over to the edge of the pool with his hand out. "You shouldn't have splashed me." With a huff, you go over to meet him at the edge. "You don't sound too sorry about it." He pulled his hand away and shrugged his shoulders. "Alright, I won't help you out." "Okay, okay. I accept your apology. Would you be so kind as to help me out of the pool?" He reached his hand back out, and you happily took it, only to shock him by pulling the man with all your strength into the pool with you. This got everyone laughing. Scott laughed so hard he fell to his knees. Logan finally came up for air, his poor shirt clinging to his body for dear life, and wrapped his arms around you to keep you from getting out.
He was smiling.
He didn't smile often, and it always warmed your heart to see those pearly whites. Storm ran up and managed to get a couple of photos of the two of you before running off again. "I think that makes us even." You shake your head. "Not even close, however, I don't want the entire school to think you aren't the brooding mysterious man that you waltz around as.” Leaning close to his ear you whisper so the kids can't hear. "So, if you want, you can make it up to me tonight." Logan stays frozen in place, his eyes following you out of the pool to look for a towel.
Storm had the photos developed later that night and slipped a couple under Logan's door with a note. "Don't worry, I didn't put these in the scrapbook. I think the fourth will be your favorite." - Storm
Logan's eyes welled with tears as he held the photo. She was right, the fourth photo was his favorite one. The two of you were soaking wet in the pool with your arms around each other, smiling towards the camera. The picture got crumpled over time, always in his pocket or folded out of reach, but he kept it.
He missed you.
Dear god, he missed you.
Your body was never found when the mansion was raided. He always assumed you were taken and experimented on. He would've rather you be killed instead of kept alive and tortured for who knows how long. After looking for you for what felt like forever, he finally gave up, assuming you were dead. The crumpled-up picture was the only thing he had to remember your smile, your laugh, you.
Logan blinked the tears away when Wade approached. "Hey there peanut. You got a second?" A grunt left Logan's lips. "What do you want?" The self-proclaimed marvel Jesus took his hand and pulled him towards the door. "I got a surprise for you, I think you'll like it. Don't worry about the party, we'll be quick." As the two men walk out the door, Wade pulls a TempPad out of his pocket, and Logan starts to protest. "I'm not about to do more universe jumping with you. Once was enough." Wade nods. "I understand, but I think you might change your mind once you find out where we're going." Before Logan can say anything else, he is pulled through a portal into a hallway that looks like a carbon copy of the one he was previously in. "I swear if I have to listen to another one of you assholes I'm going to kill you both." Wade shrugs the comment off. "It's not another me." He gets serious for a moment.
"I know I lied to you about being able to fix your universe, and I'm sorry. However, I did jump around and find someone that you've been missing for ten years." Wade knocks on the door and then steps back. It opens a few seconds later.
"Logan?"
You stood there, shock and disbelief on your face. Without a second thought, both your feet move until you collapse in each other's arms. A sigh of relief leaves the broken man's mouth as the war in his mind begins to subside. "It's me bub. It's me." Tears spill down your face as you hug the man who you haven't seen in years. The two of you finally pull away, and Logan turns to Wade. "How did you do this? I thought they were dead." The merc shakes his head no. "Took a while to track them down. I almost thought they were dead, luckily I was wrong."
A portal appears behind Wade as he reaches out to hand Logan the TempPad. "I couldn't fix your past, but I at least wanted to give you a familiar future. Don't expect you to, but come visit anytime. My door is always open. We'll miss having you around." Logan took the device from Wade's hands. He starts to walk through the portal before Logan calls him. Turning around, Wade sees tears in the older man's eyes. "Thank you." He nods, before walking through the portal, and everyone in his apartment smiles and waves goodbye, before it closes.
Logan puts the device in his pocket, before looking at his lost love. He reaches his hand out and touches your face, afraid that this is some sick illusion and you'll be ripped away from him. “I’ve spent forever thinking about what I’d say to you when I saw you again. Now that you’re here in front of me, I can’t seem to find the words.” You smile and take his hand in yours. "Well, luckily for us, we have the rest of our lives for you to figure it out." You begin to walk back into your apartment, Logan's hand in yours. He thought about visiting Wade again when the time was right, but right now, he had a life with you to catch up on.
He was finally home.
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k-nayee · 26 days ago
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Like Father, Like Hellspawn Deadpool ii
wc: 5.7k a/n: got carried away and was writing too much🤭
Traveler M.List
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ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ
recap
Finally holstering your weapons, you turned to Deadpool with a grin beneath your mask. A mask that was a perfect mirror image of his.
You practically bounced over to him as casual as someone greeting an old friend.
Then, in the most cheerful, sing-song voice imaginable, you threw your hands up like a child and chirped—
"HI DADDY!!"
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BANG!!
Your body jolted violently, the kinetic force of the bullet slamming through your forehead with such deadly precision your head snapped backward and knees buckled.
Time seemed to slow as your limp frame crumpled to the concrete with a thud, limbs folding awkwardly beneath you like a marionette with its strings cut.
The hole between your eyes smoked faintly as a spreading pool of blood bloomed thickly beneath your head into the grime-streaked ground.
The silence that followed was suffocating.
No one moved.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead stared in disbelief, mouth parted slightly, eyes wide behind her dark eyeliner.
Yukio gasped, delicate hands flying to cover her lips.
Colossus stumbled back a step, silver frame somehow pale with horror. His deep voice fractured into a rasped accusation. “Wade...what have you done?”
Even Logan looked momentarily frozen, steel-gray eyes narrowing into a dangerous glare as his drawl cut through like a jagged blade. “Jesus Christ.”
And Deadpool himself?
Well he just stood at the center of the chaos, one arm still outstretched holding the raised pistol. The barrel smoked faintly as his entire stance radiated the universal body language of uh-oh.
His masked gaze dropped to your lifeless form, then up to the stunned team.
Back at you.
Then them.
You. 
Them.
He even tilted his head further as if maybe—just maybe—the scene would make more sense from a different angle. (It didn’t.)
“Okay—” Wade finally blurted, both hands raised like a kid caught red-handed next to the empty cookie jar. “You all saw that right? She jumped at me. She said the D-word! Who says that unironically?”
He basically barks out, somewhere between hysterical panic and righteous indignation as he points a shaky finger at the blood-streaked heap that was your body.
“That’s terrifying! You don’t just vaporize a whole warehouse of criminals and then skip over like Mary Poppins and say, ‘Hi, Daddy!’ like this is a goddamn trauma-themed tea party! That’s not normal!”
Negasonic slowly crossed her arms tightly across her chest, jaw tight. “You shot her in the face Wade.”
Colossus loomed closer with a solemn nod, eyes still locked on the corpse. “You shot your daughter. Right between the eyes. Very clean.”
“Allegedly and thank you,” Wade proudly answered automatically, then caught himself. “NO! Not thank you! The shot was a reflex! A panic shot! It happens! You guys remember the pancake incident of ’23!”
No one laughed.
Yukio cautiously knelt a few feet from you, caught somewhere between concern and disbelief. “I think...I think she was actually trying to hug you...”
Wade rounded on her, flailing both arms like a malfunctioning windmill. “Hugs kill too Yukio! Emotional vulnerability is a weapon!”
From behind Logan sighed heavily, massaging the bridge of his nose with the weariness of a man who had seen things. “She's wearing your mask Wade.”
Wade spun to face him in retaliation. “Lots of people wear my mask! Ever heard of merch? I’m iconic! There’s literally a bobblehead of me somewhere in Topeka—”
A low and wet revolting crack interrupted causing every head to whipped toward the source....you.
Your back spasmed once—then twice—as vertebrae realigned with an audible pop. A shudder rippled through your lifeless frame.
Head lolling grotesquely from side to side, your fractured and pulped skull began knitting itself back together with sickening crunches of bone and cartilage; shrinking slowly under the fabric of your ruined mask as the surrounding blood retracted unnaturally back into your veins.
Then, with a deep guttural gasp of a diver breaking the surface of water, your body arched violently off the ground as if pulled by an invisible force and sat up.
“OH GOD IT’S ALIVE!” Wade shrieked like someone had shoved an ice cube down his suit.
Groaning, you lifted one gloved hand to your forehead, rubbing absently at the nearly closed bullet wound.
"Ugh... that tickled my frontal lobe," you muttered under the battered mask. It hurt to move your mouth, muscles stiff with the lingering echo of death, but you grinned anyway.
Because he shot you.
Of course Deadpool—your father in any universe—responded to overwhelming emotional vulnerability by putting a bullet in your face.
God. You missed him.
The others, however, did not seem as charmed by your resurrection. They stood frozen in a semi-circle around you like statues, their expressions a medley of disbelief, horror, and (in Logan’s case) thinly veiled annoyance.
You rolled your neck slowly, vertebrae popping and crackling with each careful tilt of your head. It sounded like a bonfire chewing through dry kindling.
Finally, you turned your gaze on Wade.
"That really hurt ya know," your voice was sweet and syrupy with mock hurt. "Right in the ‘daddy issues.’"
The noise Deadpool made was somewhere between a dying blender and a cat choking on a hairball.
Logan could only give a single slow nod. Voice flat and unimpressed as he turns to Wade. “You still think it’s alleged now dumbass?”
The last syllable barely left Logan’s mouth when a ripple of horrified realization swept through the group.
Because he was right. The bullet had gone clean through your brain. You should be dead.
You could almost hear the mental gears grinding inside Wade’s head as he processed the undeniable truth staring him in the face: the truth that only he and a select handful of freaks could survive a bullet through the brain like it was an inconvenient paper cut.
The truth that somehow... impossibly... undeniably—
You were his daughter.
For a single glorious heartbeat the carefully built walls around Wade seemed to crumble.
His posture softened, shoulders drooping like a deflated balloon as his eyes flicked between your eerily calm form and the shredded corpses of the gangsters strewn across the warehouse floor.
And then—
Wade suddenly drops his weapons entirely, spreading his arms wide in mock-tragic overexuberance. “MY BABY GIRL!”
You didn’t hesitate.
In fact you doubled down.
With all the dramatic flair of a star-crossed heroine reuniting with a long-lost parent on the fields of battle, you got to your feet and staggered toward him with a theatrical limp.
“Oh Father!” you cried in perfect melodramatic agony. “How I have longed to see you again!”
The impact sent Wade staggering back a step but he caught you easily. He squeezed you tight like a kid gripping a teddy bear mid-nightmare, practically vibrating with pent-up emotion and chaotic joy.
Behind you the rest of Wade’s ragtag team watched in varying states of horror, discomfort, and mild nausea.
Negasonic brows raised in trademark disdain, scowling at the display. “As much as I hate this sickening-ass Lifetime Original reunion,” she interrupted dryly, “that still doesn’t explain who the hell you are or the absolute shitstorm of chaos you’ve been causing all over the city.”
You were about to reply in feigned offense when Wade beat you to it. He whirled around dramatically, shielding you behind his frame like an overprotective bulldog. His voice dropped into an offended snarl.
“How dare you?” he barked, pointing a gloved finger at her. “That’s my daughter! She knows exactly what she’s doing. Don’t question her methods. It’s rude.”
Then, under his breath, his voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper only you could hear. “You do know what you’re doing right?”
You tilted your head toward him, replying softly and sweetly, “Most definitely.”
Wade straightened up with renewed bravado and announced to the room, “See?! She knows what she’s doing!”
Logan exhaled loudly through his nose, utterly unconvinced and clearly desperate to distance himself from the nonsense.
Colossus (bless him) stepped forward, steel armored skin glinting under the flickering warehouse lights. His booming Russian-accented voice was warm and brimmed with sincerity.
“Oh how wonderful! A family reunited is always a beautiful sight...” he rumbled, massive hands clasping together in front of his chest. “To witness such joy is a blessing.”
Logan waved a hand at the carnage that surrounded them—the bullet-riddled bodies, the wrecked vehicles, the shattered crates. "We're literally standing in a puddle of dead gangsters that she was a part of. This ain't no Hallmark moment, bub."
"Hey!" You pulled back slightly from Wade and wagged a matter-of-factly finger at Logan. "There are over eight billion people on this rock. I couldn’t exactly go door-to-door asking: ‘Hi, are you Wade Wilson? Do you have regenerative abilities? Did you ever father a child and abandon them to the winds of fate?’”
You gesture vaguely at Logan’s massive frame. “And here I thought even you, Mr. Wolverine, with your brooding scowl and criminally hot muscle-bound body, would appreciate that logic. Tch.”
Logan stared. Blinked once. Twice. Without a word, he takes a full step away from you, almost as if proximity alone might trigger further chaos. “Yeah...you’re his kid all right.”
You laughed lightly at that and sauntered toward him. “Oh don't be so uptight wolvie!” You slowly drag a single finger down his chest, tracing the seam of his muscle as if admiring a marble sculpture. “Wanna massage to help? I'll even give ya a happy ending—free of charge~”
Before you could trace any higher Logan’s claws shot out violently. He slashed downward in a warning swipe, severing your hand clean at the wrist.
The gloved appendage fell to the ground with a soft wet slap, fingers curling slightly in postmortem spasm as blood immediately gushed from the wound in hot crimson spurts.
You stared at the severed hand lying on the concrete floor, blinking once...then twice.
Wade stared.
Logan stared.
Negasonic stared.
Everyone stared.
Then calmly, you bend down and scoop up the limp hand and rotate it in your remaining grip. With an exaggerated flourish, you twisted and shaped until it forms a clumsy but unmistakable finger heart with the thumb and index finger.
“Here you go!” You shoved it toward Logan with a bright and chirpy voice. “Not my real heart, but it’ll do.”
A tiny spray of blood splattered across Logan’s scowl as he glanced at the dismembered hand and your cheesing smile. 
Behind you Wade was practically vibrating with glee, clapping his hands like a proud dad at a kindergarten recital. "That's my girl!" he cooed.
The bleeding slowed to sluggish drips as your body’s regenerative magic kicked in with gory efficiency. Thick sinew and bone began the grisly process of reconstructing itself beneath the torn sleeve.
Still...you didn’t have a hand nor wrist. (Minor details.)
You dusted your hand(s) off, turning back toward the group
—just as the wail of sirens rose sharply in the distance, growing louder with every second.
Wade’s whole body sagged with a loud groan. "Ah shit. I forgot we made that deal with the cops to take out the DeLuca gang. They’re on their way.”
You glanced around at the sea of corpses. "...I mean...they’re dead but go off I guess."
Negasonic rolled her eyes. “That includes you too dipshit.”
You gasped dramatically, placing a blood-smeared stub over your chest. “Moi?! Well then she" You accusingly jab the stump at Yukio "She’s going in too. She was just as much in cahoots!”
The team was taken aback by the revelation. 
Wade turned to you, eyes wide behind his mask. "Wait, you knew she was a mole?"
You opened your arms in mock defiance. "Hell yeah I ran this place! Well..." you kicked over a crate, sending a head rolling out. "Not much left to run now."
You shot Yukio a smug look. "And by the way...you might wanna be more careful with your phone settings. Wasn't too hard to bug it. And oooh! All the spicy text messages between you and your girlfriend over there."
You waggled your eyebrows suggestively as Yukio’s face flushed a deep furious red.
“I mean that embarrassing thing you did at the pier? Oh c—”
A sudden surge of blinding firepower cuts your words off, bursting through your chest as a scowling Negasonic's extended hand still pulsed with a violent atomic energy.
She shook her head and turned to the others. “We’re gonna let her get arrested.”
Wade threw his hands in the air as your convulsed steaming body collapsed. “And let them take away my perfect and indestructible sassy-as-fuck child? Hell no!”
The rest of the team groaned in unison at his predictability. But none of them moved to stop him.
As the sirens grew ever nearer, Wade cheerfully hoisted your limp and semi-charred frame over his shoulder with surprising tenderness.
Straightening, he adjusts you like a sack of potatoes before casually strolling toward the exit with a whistle.
"We’ll just say she died in the massacre," he called over his shoulder lightly. "And we burned the body out of spite. Everybody cool? Cool."
.*.·:·.☽✧✧☾.·:·.*
The first thing you felt was softness.
A warm worn couch cradled your aching body, the cushions sinking beneath your weight as though trying to swallow you whole.
Limbs heavy and muscles sore, skin was tender where the atomic energy blast had danced through you. You groaned softly, shifting just enough to pull your legs up and curl your stiff fingers against your chest.
Your healing factor worked fast. The worst of the pain was already fading. But the exhaustion? That was bone-deep.
You peeled open your eyes.
The first thing you registered was the familiar grandiose design: sweeping staircase, polished hardwood floors, stained glass windows filtering soft morning light across expensive-looking antique furniture.
A giant oil painting of some dead white guy stared down at you from the far wall, his expression permanently locked in judgment.
Your brows knit beneath your still-cracked mask.
"...What the actual hell?"
You sat up slowly, eyes scanning the oversized lounge with growing suspicion. The room was eerily familiar. It had the air of old money meets superhero boarding school.
A sharp inhale escaped you. 'No way.'
Your heart gave an odd little flip of excitement. "Oh shit....Am I in Xavier’s Mansion?" Like...the actual X-Mansion!?
You’d only ever heard about it in rumors and messy side mission reports. Were you really about to meet the real Professor X, Storm, Jean Grey, maybe even Nightcrawler? Gosh you’d always wanted to pet his tail—
Joy deflated in record time the moment your eyes landed on the cheap Ikea lamp duct-taped to a corner table. The peeling leather recliner patched with bright pink Hello Kitty duct tape. An half-eaten burger left abandoned on the expensive Persian rug.
You sighed heavily, flopping dramatically back into the cushions. "Of course."
Of course you weren’t in the X-Mansion. This wasn’t the prestigious, state-of-the-art mutant sanctuary. You’d been brought to the Wish.com version.
The knockoff team base.
The Dollar Store X-Men.
"Figures," you muttered bitterly, throwing your arm over your eyes. Before you could spiral deeper into self-pity a familiar voice broke through the silence.
"Heads up!"
Instincts kicked in. You snapped your hand out just in time to snatch an object sailing toward your face.
A warm chimichanga, still wrapped snugly in foil, rested in your palm.
You stared at it blankly as a shaky huff of laughter escaped your throat. 'Same as always...' “Thanks...” you breathed weakly.
Across the room, Wade Wilson stood framed in the doorway. Gone was the red and black suit; instead he wore threadbare gray sweatpants and a dingy stretched-out white t-shirt that had seen better decades.
With the mask off his scarred hairless head caught the warm light. Sunken eyes and a twisted mouth...a deep roadmap of burns and lumpy scar tissue that resembled a melted candle with attitude.
"Don’t mention it kiddo," he said through a full mouth of his own chimichanga, flopping bonelessly into a sagging recliner across from you.
He spread his legs wide, one arm draped lazily over the armrest, the other lifting for another obnoxious bite, sauce and crumbs falling freely.
"For god’s sake Wade! Stop eating like a damn pig."
You craned your neck to see a woman standing in the hallway struggling to balance several overfilled bags, narrowed exasperated eyes that softened only slightly when they locked on Wade.
Predictably, the animated mercenary ignored her plight entirely with a lazy finger wave of his free hand.
"Hey babe! This is who I’ve been telling you about." He jerked the foil-wrapped food in your direction like it was an extension of his arm. Sauce and shredded meat flung violently onto the rug. "Child, meet the love of my life, my light in the darkness, my ride-or-die..." he lowered his voice dramatically, "Vanessa."
The woman—Vanessa—paused mid-step. Her eyes flickered toward you as if only now realizing you existed. You froze, holding the chimichanga awkwardly in both hands, still curled on your side like some startled raccoon.
Vanessa's expression softened and her lips quirked into a quick polite smile. "I'd give you a proper hello, but..." she tilted her head toward the bags, "...I’m a little full."
Dark eyes sharply flicked back to Wade. "Someone decided to go ahead and inhale the takeout instead of helping me carry anything."
Wade stuffed the rest of the meal in his mouth and spoke around it. “Now you know I’d never stand in the way of your independence babe. Besides, gotta make sure my seed is fed after all.” He jerked a scarred thumb toward you proudly.
You stared, blinking at the surreal sight, the still-warm chimichanga resting heavily in your hand.
Before Vanessa could skewer him with her glare—
"Let him keep eating. Maybe the bastard’ll choke."
Logan.
The man appeared in the doorway, bags slung effortlessly in both arms, his massive shoulders filling the frame. His grizzled features twisted into the permanent scowl of someone forced to tolerate Wade’s existence for far too long.
Without ceremony, he snatched two of the heavier bags from Vanessa’s grip. She gave him a grateful look.
“Okay...” Wade finished his meal with a loud swallow and suddenly popped up from his seat with forced enthusiasm. “Now I’ll help!”
Logan and Vanessa both immediately shifted out of his way, scowling in perfect unison as they dodged his flailing hands.
“Too late for that,” Vanessa muttered under her breath as she dropped the bags on the coffee table in the center of the room.
Logan followed, brushing past Wade deliberately with a shoulder-check so hard it sends the mercenary stumbling sideways.
Wade, true to form, spun and collapsed onto the floor with a drawn-out wail. "ASSAULT!" he cries. "I’VE BEEN ASSAULTED BY A HAIRY CANADIAN!"
The chaos only escalated as more familiar faces walked in.
"Shut the hell up you whiner!" Negasonic barked as she stomped into the room, Yukio and Colossus trailing close behind, arms also loaded with bags as well.
Without missing a beat, she sends a sharp kick directly into Wade’s side. The vigilante groaned and rocked gently on the floor.
"My child...avenge me!" He whimpers weakly.
“Nah.” You waved him off, casually taking a massive bite of the chimichanga as you stretched luxuriously across the long armchair, your mask fully off and tossed onto the couch beside you revealing the sweat-slick hair clung to your temples.
The room froze once they realize this; all eyes turning to you in varying degrees of surprise, confusion, and curiosity.
You blinked, chewing slowing down. "What?" you asked flatly, lowering the half-eaten food. "Do I have something on my face?"
That snapped Wade out of his daze. He lurched to his feet with a gasp, hand slapping across his mouth in shock as his eyes bulged cartoonishly wide. "...Oh my god."
"...well damn." Your stomach sank slightly at the reaction. "I must be hideous or something."
You reached calmly for your mask, fingers brushing over the familiar texture. "Welp. There goes a major blow to my ego. Lemme just put this back o—"
"W-wait! Don’t!" Wade blurted out.
You froze.
"You’re not ugly," he insisted. His voice was softer this time, almost panicked. "You’re just....not what I expected." He turned to his teammates, eyes narrowing threateningly. "Back me up. Now."
The group shifted uncomfortably. Logan scowled deeper. Negasonic crossed her arms tighter. They all knew better than to poke the Wade Wilson bear when he got like this.
Colossus spoke first, earnest and sincere as ever. “You are very striking,” he said kindly.
Yukio nodded enthusiastically. “Very cute!”
Even Logan, jaw clenched, forced out through gritted teeth, “You look... fine.”
Negasonic gave a long suffering sigh. “Yeah sure. You’re pretty. Whatever.”
You beamed, preening at the half-hearted praise as you dramatically tossed the mask back onto the couch and took another satisfied bite of chimichanga. "Mmm. Thank you Ellie~"
Ellie's eyes narrowed into razor-thin slits. “You don’t have permission to use my civilian name,” she snapped. “It’s Negasonic to you.”
You pretend to consider it, licking a stray glob of sour cream from your thumb as you tapped your chin thoughtfully. “Yeah...no. Prefer to call people by their actual government names. Sowwy.”
Colossus chuckled warmly as he continued unpacking and arranging boxes and containers across the low table with delicate care despite his massive steel hands. "I do not mind. Names bring companions closer together."
You smiled, turning your attention to him. "Exactly Piotr." You paused and added warmly in perfect Russian, "Спасибо тебе, мой стальной брат." (Thank you, my brother of steel)
Piotr blinked, visibly surprised. His metal brow lifted slightly, mouth parting for a half second before softening into the faintest smile. His entire body seemed to relax with pleased astonishment.
He replied with matching warmth, "Не за что, маленькая звезда смерти." (your welcome, little death star)
Your grin widened. It was hard to catch the team’s stoic tank off-guard, and you considered that a small victory.
As the others busied themselves, Vanessa, who had been uncharacteristically quiet for most of the exchange, continued to watch you from across the room. Finally, as if coming to a decision, she stepped forward.
You froze as she approached. The room felt suddenly smaller, the soft buzzing of a nearby lamp growing louder in your ears.
Closing the space between you with slow deliberate movements, Vanessa leaned down, slender fingers reaching out to gently tilt your chin up, brushing lightly against your jaw as her thumb rested against the curve of your cheekbone.
Your breath hitched faintly as you stared up at her wide-eyed, caught somewhere between confusion and fascination.
Brows furrowed deeply, she studied your face in absolute silence for what felt like an eternity. Her dark lashes cast long shadows beneath her eyes as she scrutinized every angle.
Once satiated, she leans back and nod. “I can see some resemblance to Wade in there.” she says at last.
You let out an groan as you dramatically tossed your head toward Wade. “Goddamn...” you muttered dryly. A slow smirk spread across your lips, eyes narrowing with wicked intent. “Would you be mad if I tried to fuck your woman old man?”
The room came to an immediate crashing halt.
Vanessa sputtered, mouth falling open as she reared back with a choked half-laugh half-gasp as Logan groaned audibly and turned away with a grimace.
Wade didn’t even flinch. He swallowed a bite of another chimichanga and waved a dismissive hand, still chewing as he spoke. “As much as I would give you everything kiddo...you can’t have Vanessa. Them’s the rules.”
You held up your hands in mock defeat. “Understandable. Have a nice day.”
Logan let out a guttural bark of disbelief. “How low-down can you be?!” His heavy boots thudded as his face twisted somewhere between irritation and mild disgust. “Isn’t Vanessa basically like your mom or something?”
You nearly doubled over laughing, slapping your thigh as you wiped a stray tear from the corner of your eye. “Shawty? Hell no,” you snorted. “Vanessa’s most definitely not my mom. Doesn’t look a damn thing like her.”
You stood and motioned dramatically at yourself, fingers running theatrically along the outline of your features; from your fluffy hair down to the gloved hand against your toned skin. “Look at me! You really think this woman popped me out?”
Logan’s mouth snapped shut. He grimaced and narrowed his eyes, clearly trying to find the words and failing miserably. He finally pressed his lips into a thin line and muttered, “...Whatever. Still weird though.”
Wade, never one to pass up an opportunity, immediately swung a heavy arm over your shoulder and pulled you into his side like a proud dad showing off his kid at a science fair.
“Can’t help it Wolverine,” he stated smugly. “It’s in our DNA to have impeccable taste.”
You nod along solemnly .“Agreed. No discrimination over here. If you’re hot? Game over for me. It’s a wrap: Man, woman, non-binary badass, alien demigod, vampire dominatrix, whatever.” You paused thoughtfully and let your lips curl into a smile. “Even heroes. Like... I don’t know...”
You drew it out intentionally and syrupy-sweet, watching as Wade narrowed his eyes suspiciously at your tone like a hound catching scent until you finally said it:
“...Spider-Man?”
The reaction was immediate.
Wade’s head snapped toward you so fast you half-expected a cracking sound. His eyes widened comically. “Shut up!” he gasped, between disbelief and something dangerously close to excitement.
Before you could even blink, he yanked you to sit down beside him on the couch, scarred hands framing your face firmly, holding your cheeks in place like a gossip-starved aunt who had just cornered you at a family wedding.
“Tell me every-fucking-thing!” he demanded, shaking you lightly with each word.
You slap at his arms as you wheezed, “Okay okay, stop! Jesus Wade!”
He finally let go but didn’t move far; sitting cross-legged and hunched forward, his hands clasped tightly on his lap, rocking slightly like a kid awaiting storytime.
You settled comfortably into the cushions as you took another chomp of chimichanga, savoring the center of attention.
“It was freshman year of college when we ran into each other,” you started wistfully, like a storyteller remembering the beginning of an epic legend. “Literally. Stormed into the lecture hall chest-first into this scrawny nerd with coffee and a backpack twice his size. Dumped his drink all over my brand-new hoodie.”
You paused for dramatic effect, watching Yukio and Vanessa lean in ever so slightly. Even Logan had subtly shifted his weight toward you, arms crossed, jaw tight but listening.
“Of course we argued. I told him off. He babbled apologies. Classic meet-cute disaster.” You sighed dramatically. “It should’ve ended there but fate had other ideas. Because a week later? We crossed paths again. Only this time he was in full spandex swinging across rooftops. Turns out both of us had been operating under masks the entire time. Him, Spider-Man. Me, Deadpool.”
 “Um actually,” Wade immediately raise a finger up at that. “You can't be Deadpool because I—”
“Yeah, yeah.” You waved him off with a grin. “But it got really interesting when I found out his secret identity.” You wiggled your eyebrows. “Crime-fighting date nights. Web-swinging across Manhattan at 2 AM. Dude has stamina like you wouldn’t believe.”
Wade was practically vibrating next to you, his hands squeezing your shoulders hard enough to almost pop a joint. “You fucked Spider-Man?!”
You gave wistful sigh and popped the last bite of your chimichanga into your mouth. “Oh most definitely. Many times in fact! Did you know that man likes going at it on rooftops? Bridges too. Apparently it’s the thrill of heights and getting seen.” You snorted. “The freak.”
There was a stunned silence, then the room practically tilted toward you.
But you weren’t finished.
“And...I may or may not have taken Captain America’s V-card during one of me and Spidey's little ‘off-again’ phases.”
The bomb dropped like a thunderclap.
Wade sputtered violently like a broken espresso machine, eyes bulging as he choked on absolutely nothing.
“EXCUSE ME?” he shrieked. “No. No, absolutely not. Steve Rogers is America’s ass, not yours. There’s no way. You’re full of it.”
You nodded enthusiastically, head lifted with an indignant sniff. “Oh hell yes. I tapped that. Turns out he only told people he lost it during the 1943 USO tour to keep Stark and Thor from bullying him. And let me tell ya: guy’s built like a Greek statue but soft as a marshmallow inside. Total sub. Puppy man all day.”
The team erupted again, everyone talking over each other in disbelief. Yukio had collapsed into Vanessa’s lap, giggling hysterically at this point while the brunette doubled over in laughter. Ellie on the other hand simply groaned loudly with a slap to her forehead, ignoring the way Piotr made a strangled metal noise and looked away awkwardly.
Wade, all the while, was still flailing. “No. No. No. No! Steve Rogers does not bottom. I refuse to believe this. My soul rejects this!”
Unfortunately, Logan had to be the one to end the fun. “Not possible anyway. They don’t exist.”
You froze.
For just a moment, your teasing bravado faded. Your lips parted slightly, breath catching faintly as the weight of reality slip back into your chest.
“Right...” You rubbed the back of your neck. “They’re not here because they're just in my universe.” You looked back up and offered a weak grin. “From Earth-617.”
The collective silence was deafening.
Wade, halfway through unwrapping his third chimichanga, froze completely. His jaw hung slack as the tortilla slipped limply from his fingers and plopped onto the table. “...you what?”
You bit back a grin. Straightening up a little to throw your arms open with an exaggerated shrug, the worn leather of your suit creaking slightly with the motion.
“C’mon!” you teased. “You really think I’d take over an entire crime syndicate, impersonate the city’s most wanted antihero and fight your team—” you pointed at the group with a lazy spin of your wrist “—all because I was bored? If I were local?”
You watched as realization slowly dawned across each face.
But it was Wade who sat back against the couch like he’d been sucker-punched, shoulders sagging as he dramatically wiped a nonexistent bead of sweat from his grotesquely scarred forehead. “Holy shit...” he whispered faintly. “You're serious.”
You nodded. “Yup. I’m from another Earth. Earth-617 to be exact.”
Casually unzipping the pocket on your tactical belt, you pull out a sleek black phone and unlock it with a flick of your thumb. The cracked screen glowed softly as you swiped through a series of photos.
There he was.
Your Wade.
Your father.
The ache that wrapped around your heart was bittersweet and unrelenting the longer you glanced at each image: you on rooftops at sunset with your Wade during a stakeout. Another of him ruffling your hair as you scowled playfully and tried to bat his hand away. Another of him carrying you piggyback during a gang shootout.
You paused on a particular image. It wasn’t as polished. It was slightly blurry, a selfie your Wade had taken on some random Tuesday before a job with your stolen phone. He stood in front of the bathroom mirror, making a stupid kissy face with a peace sign raised.
You smiled softly.
Without looking up, you spun the phone around to face the others.
They all leaned in to get a closer look.
“Almost forgot….he had the most luscious blonde hair back in the day,” you murmured with a fond grin, swiping to an even older photo of your Wade before Weapon X ravaged him, probably no older than you were now. Rugged and handsome, his golden hair spilled messily over his forehead as he smiled effortlessly at the camera. “Total heartthrob. I mean look at this.”
The room couldn’t help themselves.
Logan let out a low grunt of reluctant approval as Vanessa's eyes widened. “Damn,” she murmured. “He’s fine as hell.”
You turned your head just in time to see Wade physically recoil backward as though he’d been shot point-blank. His scarred face twisted into an almost cartoonishly wounded grimace as his hand flew to his chest.
“Vanessa?!” he nearly wailed. “Are you seriously thirsting over alternate me?!”
You hid your smirk behind your hand. “Relax old man.”
Wade was in full pout-mode, his arms folding tightly across his chest as he mutter under his breath. “He’s not even that different…” he grumbles. “I'm sure there’s some resemblance between us.”
Dragging your gaze slowly and deliberately over Wade’s scarred face, you squint before shaking your head. “Nah. My dad and you look nothing alike.” You tapped your chin thoughtfully. “If anything...you kinda look like Ryan Reynolds.”
Wade pointed an accusatory finger at you with offended indignation. “You shut your filthy mouth!”
You shrugged with a wide grin. “I just call it like I see it.”
Wade let out a long suffering groan and slumped deeper into the couch, throwing his scarred arms dramatically over his face.
“I hate the multiverse,” he muttered. “First I get dragged into timeline shenanigans. Now I’m related to a sassier version of myself? What fresh cosmic bullshit is this?”
You smirked, leaning back into the cushions beside him, warm and weirdly comfortable for the first time in what felt like years. “You love it,” you said quietly.
Wade peeked at you from under his arm. His voice softened just a little. “...Yeah. I kinda do.”
You let your playful grin fade just a fraction as you stare down at the photo of your father still glowing faintly in your hand. The edges of the screen flickered softly. You thumbed it off and slipped the phone back into your belt with a soft click.
You didn’t say it aloud. You didn’t have to.
Different Earth. Different Wade. Different world.
“Hey kid,” Wade’s voice broke the quiet, back to full dramatic chaos. “Just so we’re clear... if any more alternate versions of you show up, I am not paying child support.”
You shook your head as you reached over to slug him lightly on the arm. “No promises old man.”
Off in the distance, sirens wailed faintly once again. Another mess waiting for you both. Another day, another ridiculous chapter about to begin.
You stood and stretched lazily with a grin. “C’mon Dad. Let’s go cause some responsible mayhem.”
Wade jumped up like an overexcited kid. “BEST. DAY. EVER.”
The two of you strode out together, the dysfunctional team trailing behind, bickering already. A new world. A second chance.
And maybe... just maybe... this was exactly where you were meant to be.
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z3phyr23 · 10 months ago
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Genuinely obsessed with how much of Deadpool and Wolverine was actual sets and costumes and prosthetics and props. Like yes!!!!!!! We all know marvel is dogshit at using practical effects over CGI. Cause they use CGI for EVERYTHING. But D&W was primarily practical effects rather than CGI. And it’s so sad that this bare minimum is something I’m this excited about, but it really really is. I adore their dedication and the effort that was put into this movie, and their support of various practical effects artists.
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stardaiyamondo · 9 months ago
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. 𖥔 ݁ ˖ 💋 wade my baby!
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adeliadrawstuff · 10 months ago
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More Deadpool fanart to bless your tumblr feed's
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mymy4802 · 10 months ago
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Logan i love you but my god can we talk about how Wade (Deadpool) is so fine ?!
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ashypooh-art · 10 months ago
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Really love how this sketch turned out 😂
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trenchcoathunnybee08 · 11 months ago
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Spoiler free Deadpool and Wolverine review.
Just got out and can confirm I will not be shuttling up about this movie ever. This was so fucking good down to the most minute detail.
It was god dam glorious and DP really was marvel Jesus. Logan was fine as fuck and they were beautiful together.
Nobody ever can tell me there was anything wrong with this movie. I don’t care if it is wack or whatever the haters might say. It was great and I can’t wait for the resurgence of Wolverine content on the internet. The edits are going to be so good.
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sporadicallychill · 9 months ago
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Logan: Ugh! I can't believe I'm gonna sleep with him.
Peter: Well, you don't have to.
Logan: No, I'm gonna
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bonesleftcomposed · 10 months ago
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omfg i just watched deadpool 3 i have thoughts (vague spoilers?? youll be fine)
- deadpool is the goofy queer rep the world needs he is me i am him i love him BAD
- im convinced part of the marvel jesus “mj if youre nasty” thing is a reference to spideypool and how mj (mary jane, michelle jones, etc) is almost always spidermans love interest
- they did NOT do more than fight in that car. the fighting was all they needed. they knew both of them would regenerate and they kept fighting anyways because THEY LIKED IT. they took their energy out on each other and thats their equivalent of “more than fighting”
- HOWEVER. a lot of their arguments couldve been avoided if they had just made out. id watch.
- only negative right now is that they left me with an insatiable yearning for someone to be gay with. a gaygayhomo and we’re filthy little queers together thats all i want
sincerely, a raging queer that has deadpools humor
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