#Dean was thinking all the cas is amazing of course he forgives him stuff but he couldn't say it

[srijellyfishtempura-archive]

Supernatural is a tragic love story and nobody can convince me otherwise

[blxssom-221]

Supernatural season 15 episode 9 thoughts (SPOILERS)

Let’s start with the things that had me flailing my arms:

JACK KLINE AND BILLY!!!

I REPEAT J A C K K L I NE & B I L L Y!! MY CHILD IS BACK! I REPEAT MY CHILD IS BACK!! (I mean like I knew he would be back but it’s been like weeks since I saw him sooo...)

Supernatural: the only show where you will find people hating on God but loving Satan’s kid and death

I mean can you think about?! Freaking death herself and a nephilim teaming up together to take down Chuck? What. A. Powerful. Freaking. Duo!!

After all that crazy, intense stuff that was happening, seeing Jack at the end of the episode was a FREAKING WIN!!

I didn’t realized how much I missed that nougat loving child until I saw him

“Dean. You asked what about all of this is real? WE ARE”

“After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore” Saileen kiss “I KNOW THAT WAS REAL”

“JUST STOP BEING SO STUPID” 😂

I think I just found my new kink...

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Castiel was once a SOLDIER THAT has led an ARMY. I’m so glad that these past few episodes shows how much of a badass Cas really is and how he’s not willing to take Dean’s bullshit anymore

Like you go sweetheart! You’re doing amazing!!👏🏻👏🏻

And also...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DID YOU SEE T H E I R E Y E S?!?!?!

DEAN WAS SO HAPPY AND RELIEVED TO SEE HIM!

When Dean called Cas his “best friend” while praying to him, I was just like: okay... okay, whatever. This is why I wear a permanent clown mask. Bestfriend my ass...

(“Just friends”, huh? Well “just friends” don’t steal secret glances at each other. “Just friends” don’t get jealous when the other one talks about someone else. “Just friends” don’t get butterflies from each other. “Just friends” don’t hold each other like that. “Just friends?” Yeah right.)

But then again, (and this is the clown mask talking) sometimes best friends are often linked to friends-to-lovers trope and “my husband/wife is my best friend”

Doesn’t make sense, yea I know, but like I said clown mask

At least we got a somewhat love declaration from Dean

That prayer... OMG

I was on the edge of my freaking seat the whole time! I mean that was some intense level of fanfiction over there

Destiel really graduated from eye-fucking to eye-lovemaking

(I’m surprised the empty didn’t take Cas right then and there but thank goodness it didn’t)

When Dean FINALLY acknowledges his anger as his flaw, that was freaking refreshing! He finally understands that his anger is what pushes people away. And you know what makes me happy? That is Cas that made him realize how his anger affects the people around him

Now the things that made me ball my eyes out/shout into oblivion:

While watching Chuck slowly strip Sam’s hope away from him, I felt so angry but I mostly felt sadness

Because this is Sam, guys! This is the guy who who always see the light at the end of the tunnel, the one who always fought for his family and friends when they couldn’t.

Now all he probably feels is despair. But I have hope still

God may be powerful but he isn’t that powerful enough to break Sam Winchester

Speaking of God, WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS USING OUR SWEET EILEEN LIKE A PUPPET?!

SOMEBODY HOLD ME BACK CAUSE IMMA SNATCH THIS HOE’S WEAVE

That prayer and hug scene... I-I have no words for that... Jensen Ackles deserves an Oscar award

If you think about it, a part of Dean probably thought Cas was dead and can you imagine how shattered he must’ve felt while searching for him? Like you saw how desperate he was. He’s mind was solely focused on Castiel.

To find him, make sure he’s alive, kind of paralleling their first time in the Purgatory. He saw he only had two min. left and any other person would’ve ran back to the portal so they wouldn’t get stuck and plan another way to get that flower.

But not if it’s Cas. Dean would not be able to stomach it if Cas died or if he left him with their relationship still in a rocky place. You saw that he was ready to stay. He wanted to stay because, like the last time, his basic instinct came forward. There’s no life on earth without Cas

(Plus when Sam saw the future, you saw how depressed Dean became, how he felt there’s no point in fighting anymore since Cas died and he had to bury him. Second time that happened.)

BENNY!!!

ANOTHER REASON WHY I WAS EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE WAS THAT WE MIGHT SEE BENNY

BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? HE DIED

CAN MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS STOP DYING?! THE AUDACITY!!!

I’M STARTING TO THINK DEATH IS THE NEW TREND THESE DAYS

Also...

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FUTURE?!?!

I will RIOT if the big finale ends with Team Free Will’s work being worthless and them turning into monsters to kill their friends

Oh, and another thing...

WHAT TYPE ANGSTY FANFIC IS THIS?!

And this is basically him saying that he would’ve stayed even after just saying that he needs to move on if Dean would’ve just STOP HIM!!

I need a drink...

Conclusion

I feel like Jack (and Cas) is the key to defeating Chuck. I created this post a few days back, but to summarize it, I feel like Jack will bring paradise back on earth similar to what Cas’ vision showed him by defeating Chuck and getting rid of all those demons and monsters Chuck released on earth.

And Castiel, he was never part of Chuck’s stories, same with Jack. He keeps on not including them to his stories, it’s like they don’t even exist in his mind. But they keep coming back. Especially Cas. He’s the one who’s been defying destiny and doing the complete opposite of what was expected of him.

The rebellious angel

And it looks like Jack is following in his footsteps.

Jack is supposed to be dead. I’m pretty sure Chuck isn’t expecting for him to return but with the help of Billy, he will and he’s going to be a big part to defeating Chuck.

Another thing I want to conclude with...

Dean’s biggest fear is losing Cas. For years, he had done nothing but direct his anger to Cas and take him for granted, even though I know what sometimes he doesn’t mean to.

But every time, Cas came back. He just bows his head and takes it. But not anymore. He stood up to Dean and left because it was what was best for him. He knows his worth and he’ll no longer be treated badly by Dean.

But of course Cas will still end up coming back. He’ll still help and everything but doesn’t mean he’ll just easily let Dean get away with what he did. That’s why he’s so distant. He’ll forgive Dean, of course he will but first he’ll have to own up to his mistakes

And Dean? He realized this. It took losing Cas to realize how much of a jerk he’s been. And whether be it the past, present or future, losing Cas will shatter him. (As seen in the future, how he felt like there’s nothing left to fight for)

It’s kind of bittersweet how Sam has lost all hope and this time it’s Dean who’s keeping that faith alive between them

I also hope Michael/Adam and Amara and Queen Rowena helps Team Free Will 2.0

Just imagine how powerful and badass they would be

[one-more-offbeat-anthem]

(felt kinda sad-weird when promptober ended so now I'm doing a wintry prompt list! may not be every day, but whatever. we need softness and fluff rn :) I'm using this list) (also if you have a specific prompt you want make sure I get to, drop it in my ask box!)

36. you knit me a sweater for christmas and i realize i am in love with you

“I wish there was a better name for this...” Cas mused, “Like how we call our Thanksgiving ‘Friendsgiving’? What’s our Friend-mas called?”

“You’ve gotta quit it with the air quotes, man,” Dean replied, turning the corner, “Or I’m gonna just leave you on the side of the road and pick you up after I’m done at Charlie’s.”

“You always say that, and you’ve never left me.” Cas’s tone was smug. “Seriously, though. This needs a fun name.”

Dean rolled his eyes. Since college, he, Cas, and their other friends had been doing their own Thanksgivings and Christmases--and once, an incredibly ill-fated Valentine’s Day that ended with Dean drunkenly kissing Cas and then pretending he didn’t remember it the next day.

(Honestly, Dean was surprised he had only done that once, since he and Cas lived together and there was the constant temptation.)

“Who do you have for secret Santa?” Dean asked. He had been trying to figure it out for weeks, but Cas had just kept shutting himself in his room. Cas preferred to hand-make gifts, and he wanted them to be a surprise for everyone, so this was normal, but Cas would also usually give Dean hints as to who he had.

(Dean, for his part, had their friend Benny, which was easy enough--a cookbook devoted solely to nachos did the trick.)

Cas smiled at him serenely and then resumed staring out the window. 

“Alright,” Dean said, “Be like that.”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Cas replied, “Patience, Dean.”

“Ugh.”

When they got to Charlie’s house, Dean was nearly attacked by her enthusiastic hug.

“Jesus, Charlie! You saw us a few weeks ago!”

“But I always miss you guys when you’re gone.” She turned her attention to Cas, her red curls bouncing, “And how’s everyone’s favorite angel?”

“Not an angel,” Cas said, but he was smiling. It was true, Dean thought, Cas was sort of angelic--way too nice and forgiving, especially to Dean himself. 

“Everyone else is already here,” Charlie continued, “Apparently Benny took it upon himself to pick everyone else up.”

The group was small-ish, but cozy. There was the aforementioned Charlie, who was a video game developer, Dorothy, who was Charlie’s girlfriend, Benny, who worked with Dean at the auto shop, Jo, who was nearly done with law school (and was going to be a kick-ass lawyer), and Ash, who wasn’t doing much these days but was having a good time.

And, of course, Dean (mechanic) and Cas (librarian), who had been randomly made roommates freshman year and had been inseparable ever since. 

After a rousing round of drinks and a disaster of a cookie-decorating session, it was time for secret Santa. Dean accepted the lumpy package that had his name on it and squished it slightly, wondering what it was. 

Benny, as Dean predicted, loved his cookbook, and proposed that at their next get-together he would cook for them (”Then I just won’t eat,” Jo had said, causing gales of laughter). Cas got a leather-bound set of Paradise Lost books from Dorothy and Dean thought the guy was gonna break down and cry.

Then it was Dean’s turn.

He slowly unwrapped his gift, but the guessing game ended as soon as he saw a patch of knit.

“I don’t even have to try,” he said, holding up the forest green sweater, “Cas?”

“You got me,” Cas said, his cheeks coloring slightly.

“Dean, we can match!” Charlie said, pointing to a hook by her door where the scarf Cas had knitted her the year before hung.

“Thanks, man,” Dean said, smiling. Inside, though, his stomach was flip-flopping. 

Cas had knitted him a sweater. 

Dean was in a daze for the rest of their...”Friendmas,” Jo and Ash concurred with Cas, “I think Friendmas is a great name.” They watched Home Alone and got fantastically drunk--drink every time Kevin thwarts the robbers! Drink every time you see a Christmas tree!--and all ended up bunking at Charlie’s, too inebriated to drive home. 

Dean and Cas were relegated to the pull-out couch in Charlie’s basement, as per usual, while everyone else made use of the guest room, the couch, Charlie’s own bed, and a blow-up bed she had tucked into a hall closet. Dean and Cas didn’t mind bunking together, so they usually ended up here.

Dean felt himself starting to drift off when Cas whispered, “Dean?”

“Hm?” 

“I hope--I hope my gift was sufficient.”

Dean rolled over to face Cas, able to barely see the outline of his face in the dark, “Dude. It was awesome. Your talent at that stuff always amazes me.” Cas didn’t answer, so Dean asked, “Something on your mind?”

“I just--no, nevermind. It’s nothing.” “Doesn’t sound like nothing.” Dean tried to keep teasing out of his tone, but it was hard.

“Dean, I don’t really want to--” Cas sighed, “It’s not like it would change anything. I just feel how I feel.”

I just feel how I feel.

Dean recalled how Cas’s cheeks had turned pink when Dean had complemented his work earlier, how comfortably they had fallen together during the movie, like they always did--their lives were molded around each other, it happened so easily.

I just feel how I feel.

“Hey,” Dean whispered, “Remember a few years ago, when we tried to do Valentine’s Day?”

“Yeah.” Cas’s voice sounded heavy.

“I lied, then.....I remember kissing you. I just thought...you hated it.”

“No, I...just didn’t want to be an experiment, or something. We were drunk. We kind of are now.”

“But...” Dean reached out, found Cas’s shoulder, hoped it was okay, “We’re not drunk all the time, are we?”

“Are you--” Dean interrupted Cas’s sentence by leaning forward in the dark and kissing him, missing his mouth at first, lips over his stubbly jaw, until he found Cas’s lips and then Cas was kissing him back, slowly at first, before Cas started really putting his jaw into it.

Dean eventually pulled back, leaning his forehead against Cas’s, “I love the sweater.”

“And me?” Cas asked, a hint of mischief in his tone.

“And I love you.”

[pathetic-has-been-rockstar]

Memories and a movie

Pairing: Castiel x Dean

Written for: @spnchristmasbingo

Square filled: Miracle on 34th Street

Warnings: none

Summary:   Dean Winchester has never been one for holidays, but he's fond of his few good childhood memories. When Castiel unwillingly upsets him, he will have to find a way to make up for it.

Words: 2391

Beta: @raspberrymama

my work can be found on AO3, here! If you’re interested in the whole series, you just have to click here!

Dean is in the kitchen again, making popcorns and humming a cheesy Christmas song that he heard while grocery shopping, and just won't get out of his head. He's not too bothered about it, all in all.

You won't be joining them at the bunker at least for another day, due to the closed roads, but the rest of them can start to get in the Christmas spirit. They decided to watch a Christmas-themed movie, so to give Cas and Jack the full holidays-are-coming experience. While he throws some more butter in the popcorn, he looks for the salt, trying not to spill stuff around.

A moment later, Sam walks in the kitchen, holding his pc and looking at him.

“Hey. Need a hand with that?”

“Yeah, pass me that bowl. Do we have it?”

“Yep. Miracle on 34th Street, as usual. Are you sure you don't want to watch the new version, too? I think maybe Jack...”

Dean stops him before he can go on. “Sammy, we've been over this. You and I are going to show the kid our Christmas movie, and that's it. If he doesn't like it, he'll show us his favourite one, and we will never forgive him for that.”

Sam scoffs softly and clicks a key on his pc. “Alright, then, I'll throw in the subtitles and we're good to go. We'll wait for you in the...”

“Dean cave!”

Sam sighs, exasperated. “... yes, Dean, we'll wait for you in the Dean cave.”

“Don't say it like that. It's a temple of happiness and comfort. It's the Dean cave!”

Sam opens his mouth to say something, then decides against it. He sighs and walks away from the kitchen, smiling. Dean is insufferable, of course, but it's a different kind of a pain in the ass. A light-hearted, happy Dean who teases and mocks people around him because it's fun, and not to keep a distance to avoid painful separations. All in all, he's glad of being nagged like that.

He walks in the infamous Dean cave and he finds everyone already settling down. He connects the HDMI cable to his pc and goes to sit on the couch, next to Eileen. She makes a small hint at him, and Sam nods. He clears his throat and looks at Castiel, curled up on an armchair next to the couch.

“Uh, Cas... why don't you give us the armchair? We can definitely be more comfortable there. Here, take the couch.”

Shrugging, Castiel moves on the couch. A moment later, Dean walks through the door with a ridiculously huge bowl of popcorn, and goes to sit next to Castiel. Jack stands up, going to turn off the lights, and Sam hits play on the pc before going back to the armchair and letting Eileen sit on his legs.

“So... did you love it, or did you adore it?” Dean beams at Castiel and Jack as soon as he turns the light back on.

“I like it! It put me in a good mood”, Jack nods, smiling. Dean chuckles, satisfied, then turns at Castiel, who still hasn't spoken, and looks pretty confused.

"What troubles you, Cas?" Dean asks, curious to see if he will have to explain something.

“I don't really understand the point of this movie.”

“The-the point? Cas, it's the best Christmas movie ever made, until Trading Places, what do you think is the point?”

Castiel shakes his head, an incredulous expression on his face. “Dean, it's a terrible story about how the American system cages a man for believing to be a fictional character. The judge emits his sentence on a case that doesn't belong in a courtroom, based on what's written on currency. It all stems from the troubles of an alcoholic man. How can you love this movie?”

Dean looks at Castiel, horrified. Sam knows that face. It's the same expression he had when he was forced to destroy Baby to survive a ghost attack. Whatever it's going to happen, the happy atmosphere of movie night is about to go up in flames. Surprisingly, Dean just sets his jaw and nods.

“Alright, I get it. Not everyone can appreciate it.”

“I'm just saying that there's not a lot that...”

“Shut up!” Dean barks, a second before walking away without giving anyone the time to stop him. Confused, Castiel turns to Sam.

“What did I say?”

“Cas, uh... Dean loves this movie. Very, very much. We... we used to watch it with dad, so... I-I think he was hoping you'd like it, too.”

For a long moment, Castiel stays quiet, then nods. “I understand. I suppose I'll go apologize to him.”

“It's not... let him cool off a bit, maybe.”

“Don't worry, Sam. I know exactly what to do.” Castiel ignores Sam's suggestion before going after Dean, leaving Sam, Eileen and Jack in the room. Jack stands up and stretches, still in a good mood.

“Don't worry Sam. If there's anyone able to calm Dean down, that's Cas.”

Sam chuckles, taking Eileen's hand. “You know what? You're right. Let's clean this place and go to bed, we'll deal with the lovebirds tomorrow.”

They all laugh, and start tidying up the place.

Castiel walks in Dean's room, awkwardly standing just a few steps from the door. Dean is sitting at his desk, going through some stuff, and Castiel can take a look at him. He studies how his dark blond hair is slightly ruffled on the back of his neck, after being pressed against the back of the couch for the last couple of hours, how the shirt's fabric stretches on his broad shoulders. It's looking at the movement of his shoulders that Cas realizes that Dean is moving. He turns to him, and gives him an indecipherable look.

“Hey, Cas.”

“Dean... I wanted to...”

“Ah, look... it's fine, man. It's just a movie. No big deal.”

“Sam explained to me it was a sort of tradition. I should have known there was a story behind it. There's always a story with you.”

Dean's lips curl again in one of the half smiles that Cas has learned to map and interpret down to a fine art... in a few seconds. There's always a moment or two of pure amazement at seeing how his whole traits seem to turn him from a weathered hunter into a smiling man, showing the Dean he's always cherished so deeply.

“You know... you're right. Guess I was mad because it's one of the good stories, this one.”

“... would you like to share it with me?”

For a fleeting moment, Castiel sees the surprise in Dean's eyes, as clear as fleeting. It almost hurts to think that he could be surprised to be asked to share something obviously so dear to him, but Castiel stays quiet and watches Dean nodding in agreement.

“It's just... you know we didn't have exactly an easy childhood. I had to take care of Sammy from day one, cause dad... you know. You heard more than enough. But Christmas... soometimes it was not about... this.” Dean says, gesturing at the room around him. “Sure, it was always in a different motel, always after some monster. But... the police rarely work on Christmas' night. Families stick together, making it harder for the monsters to hunt. Motels would offer something to their guests, especially to us. They saw a single dad working his ass off with two children... it tends to make people feel sympathy, especially at Christmas.”

Castiel nods, entranced by Dean's voice. He keeps smiling, and it's clear that, despite everything that man put him and Sam through, he still misses his father. His dad.

“And no matter where we were... that movie is a classic. If it wasn't on a channel, it was on another. When he managed to stay with us, Dad would make some popcorn, usually with so much butter that you could see through the bag once you were done, and we would all hunker down and watch that movie together.”

“... it sounds like a wonderful memory, indeed.”

“Yeah, it... it is. One year... one year Sammy was so upset that we had to decide: telling him that Santa wasn't real, or inventing an excuse to justify the fact that, once again, we didn't get a new house.”

“How did you deal with that?”

“We told him that Santa couldn't get a new house for us because we had to move constantly, to stay safe. We had to stick with that for a couple of years, before he grew out of that. I... I did my best to let him be a kid, Cas. Standing up to dad wasn't easy, and I... I just did my best.”

Castiel must fight the anger he feels understanding why Dean sees himself the way he does, and walks as close as possible to Dean. He places a hand on Dean's shoulder, trying to find the right words to say.

“Dean... you did a wonderful job with Sam. You shouldn't have been forced to look out for him. Your father was supposed to do it... and I'm sure that Sam is grateful for it. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate the movie.”

“Ah, Cas, it's fine. I overreacted.”

“No. It's not fine. Allow me to apologize.”

“... there's no need to...”

“Dean, I understood that around Christmas is customary to make kind gestures to each other. Please, let me.”

Dean chuckles, raising his hands.

“Alright. Let's see what you got for me.”

“Fine. Get dressed.”

“... what?”

“Get dressed.”

Dean smiles, curious to see what Cas has in mind and stands up to grab his coat. He puts it on, takes a scarf and a hat, puts on his gloves, and finally turns to face him.

“Is this enough?”

“It is. Are you ready to take a flight?”

“Not a fan of it, but... whatever makes you happy.”

Castiel gives him a small hint before placing a hand on his shoulder, and Dean experiences the familiar and dreaded feeling of his stomach being mashed from the inside during teleportation. A second later, when he opens his eyes, he manages to steady himself against a brick wall and take a deep breath before bending down and trying to catch his breath.

The air is cold, heavy, and Dean knows the smell lingering in the air, even if he can't pinpoint where or when. It feels familiar, but somehow distant, and it brings mixed feelings with it. When he finally feels his stomach settling down, he straightens his back and looks at the angel who just brought him there.

“Cas... where are we?”

“Why don't we go find out?” Cas answers, with a small smile that lets out his anticipation. Dean, affected by Cas' visible excitement, starts walking towards the exit of the alley where they appeared.

Before they walk out of it, Dean has a clear idea of where they are. There's only one city in the world that has that particular kind of bright night, those sounds mixed in a cacophony so terrible to result irresistible, topped with the smell of a thousand different foods, people and exhaust pipes. When they walk out from the alley, his hypotheses are confirmed, and Dean laughs, incredulous, turning to Cas.

“You brought me to New York?”

“So it seems.”

“What the...”

“There.”

Cas points at something behind Dean, who feels his heart stopping for a second, then starting to beat furiously in an attempt to catch up. Sure enough, turning around Dean sees the building of Macy's, dressed in blinding lights and Christmas decorations.

For a moment, Castiel is deeply worried. He never saw Dean reacting like that. His mouth fell open, while his whole face transformed into a blank expression of utter disbelief. He just keeps staring at Macy's, his eyes running up and down the building the only movement that Cas can see, as if trying to find a way to get in, or something like that. After a few very long moments, he decides to risk a question.

“Dean... are you alright?”

Dean turns to Cas so quickly that he almost takes a step back. He raises his arm, pointing at the building.

“You... you brought me to New York. On Christmas' week. To friggin' Macy's? Because you didn't like my favourite Christmas movie... you thought it was a good idea to bring me into it?”

At six and seven for Dean's reaction, Castiel nods. He thought he'd appreciate the intention behind the gesture. Perhaps he's been too intrusive. Perhaps he interpreted the sharing of his story in the wrong way, or perhaps Dean didn't mean that...

“Cas... that's the... that is the most stupid, senseless, sweet thing that anyone is ever done for me!” Dean practically shouts in Castiel's face.

“Why are you yelling now?”

“Because you are not supposed to... Cas, how... why did you do this?”

When he finally realizes why Dean is so upset, Castiel smiles. A big, wide smile that makes his eyes crinkle and the most human side of him flash clearly like one of the Christmas lights around them. Dean Winchester, the legendary hunter, the man who came back from Hell, the one who died and came back to tell the tale more than once... is embarrassed. The most brazen, skilled conqueror of waitress of the United States has no idea about how to react to a genuine gesture of care and affection.

The smile of Castiel erupts into a light-hearted laughter, and Dean is bedazzled in finding out that, in fact, he loves that. He thought he'd hate Castiel laughing at him in a moment like that, but... he was wrong. He adores his laughter. It tells him that Cas just read all the right things in his reaction, understood where they came from, and why they are there.

Dean blushes, sticks his hands in his pockets and mutters, in a falsely angry tone “Shut up” at Castiel. He doesn't stop Castiel when he nudges him with a shoulder and stays close to him.

“What do you say about we go and take a closer look at that place?”

Trying to keep his coolness, and failing miserably, Dean nods. “Well, since we're here...”

Cas shakes lightly his head, impatient and slightly exasperated. “Yeah, we're here. Thanks for seconding me. Come on, let's go.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! 

I truly hope you enjoyed this little story. Every kind of feedback is very much appreciated, just as much as likes and reblogs!

Please, do not repost my works or part/s of it on different places, not even if you give credits.

[beatlejuice64]

Destiel: Season 7 - A catalog of Supernatural episodes

A catalog of each episode in Supernatural that features scenes related to Destiel. This includes scenes between Dean and Castiel, scenes with other characters that address their relationship with each other, and scenes that allude to Dean’s bisexuality.

Season 7 Summary Analysis

Despite having felt betrayed by his actions in season 6, Dean is devastated by Castiel’s death, spiraling into depression and becoming self-destructive. When Cas returns, Dean is happy he’s alive, but also still upset about Castiel’s previous manipulation and betrayal. Cas takes on Sam’s burden of mental instability to atone for his mistakes, and he avoids conflict out of fear of messing up again. Cas is only able to come out of his funk when Dean tells him he forgives him and still believes in him.

My interpretation: Castiel’s betrayal hits Dean harder than anyone else because Dean trusted him more than he’s trusted anyone else in his life. He feels lost when Cas dies, not knowing who to trust. Dean is able to fully forgive Cas after he saves Sam, and still values his help even though he’s gone a bit wonky. Cas feels utterly appalled at himself for the cataclysmic mistakes he’s made. He reverts to a childlike state in order to cope with the knowledge that he has caused intense suffering. He feels connected to Meg because she is one of the few people with a level of darkness in her comparable to the one he feels within himself. Dean is the only person who can talk Cas into getting back into the fight because he trusts Dean’s judgement above his own—if Dean believes in him, then he can allow himself to believe in himself.

7.01 Meet the New Boss

The Purgatory souls have completely scrambled Castiel’s brain. He turns away from free will ideals and becomes a tyrant, killing many angels and doing lots of damage on Earth. Dean has given up on Cas: “Cas is never coming back. He’s lied to us, he used us, he cracked your gourd like it was nothing. No more talk. We have spent enough on him.”

After his vessel starts falling apart, Cas asks for help returning the souls and feels ashamed: “I feel regret about you and what I did to Sam. If there was time, if I was strong enough, I’d fix him now. I just wanted to make amends before I die.” “Okay.” “Is it working?” “Does it make you feel better?” “No. You?” “Not a bit.”

When Cas falls unconscious after Purgatory has opened, Dean is still concerned for his welfare and upset that he’s (apparently) dead: “Cas, you child. Why didn’t you listen to me?”

Cas desperately wants to redeem himself: “I’ll find some way to redeem myself to you.” “Alright, well, one thing at a time. Come on, let’s get you outta her.” “I mean it, Dean.” “Okay. Alright, but let’s go find Sam, okay?”

7.02 Hello, Cruel World

Dean is devastated when Cas (apparently) dies, and he keeps his trench coat that has washed up on the shore: “Dumb son of a bitch.”

Bobby recognizes the extent of Dean’s loss: “Just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother’s in the bell jar, and Purgatory’s most wanted are surfin’ the sewer lines, but yeah, I get it. Right. You’re fine.”

7.07 The Mentalists

Sam calls Dean out for pretending he’s fine when he’s not: “You can’t just look me in the face and tell me you’re fine. I mean, you’re not sleeping, you drink for the record... Just be honest with me, how are those the actions of someone who knows they did the right thing? [in reference to killing Amy]” “I went with my gut, and that felt right. I didn’t trust her, Sam. Of course, ever since Cas, I’m having a hard time trusting anybody. And as far as how I’ve been acting, I don’t know. Maybe it’s ‘cause I don’t like lying to you. You know, it doesn’t feel right. So yeah, you got me there. I been climbing the walls.”

7.09 How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters

Sam talks about Dean‘s struggle with Bobby: “So you don’t worry about him? ...Ever since my head broke, and we lost Cas. I mean, you feel like he’s going through the same motions but he’s not the same Dean, you know?”

Bobby calls Dean out for his despondent behavior: “I’ve seen a lot of hunters live and die. You’re starting to talk like one of the dead ones, Dean.” “No, I’m talking the way a person talks when they’ve had it, when they can’t figure out why they used to think all this mattered.”

7.12 Time After Time

Sam makes a joke about Dean’s sexuality: “Are you gonna look at more anime, or are you strictly into Dick now?”

7.13 The Slice Girls

Sam observes Dean’s distracted behavior again: “You know what? Bobby was right. Your head’s not in it, man. When Cas died, you were wobbly, but now... Look, Dean, the thing is, tonight it almost got you killed. Now I don’t care how you deal. I really, really don’t. But just don’t get killed.”

7.17 The Born-Again Identity

Dean is dumb-founded when he sees that Cas is alive. Even though Cas has no memory of what happened, Dean talks about it with him: “You know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know, whatever it was, it might take me some time, but I always could. What Cas did, I just can’t. I don’t know why.”

Dean looks uncomfortable when Meg flirts with the amnesiac Cas.

Dean encourages Cas to use his powers: “It’s in there. I’m sure it’s just like riding a bike.”

When Castiel’s memory returns, he feels ashamed for what he did. He tries to run off, but Dean stops him: “If you remember, then you know you did the best you could at the time.” “Don’t defend me. Do you have any idea the death toll in heaven? On Earth? We didn’t part friends, Dean.” “So, what?” “I deserved to die. Now I can’t possibly fix it, so why did I even walk out of that river?” “Maybe TO fix it.”

Dean is able to convince Cas to stay and help after he pulls his trench coat out of the trunk of his car.

To atone for what he did to Sam, Cas shifts Sam’s broken mental state into himself.

7.20 The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo

Dean walks Charlie through flirting with a man, and he tells Sam not to tell anyone about it: “It shows. You look amazing.” “You do anything else with your free time, like take a girl out for a drink?”

7.21 Reading is Fundamental

When Cas wakes up, Dean is happy to see him, but not sure how to handle his wackiness.

Cas exhibits fondness for Meg: “Will you look at her? My caretaker. All of that thorny pain. So beautiful.”

When Dean tries to talk to Cas about what he did, Cas makes him play a game of Sorry!: “We live in a ‘Sorry!’ universe. It’s engineered to create conflict. I mean, why should I prosper from your misfortune? But these are the rules. I didn’t make ‘em.” “You made some of ‘em. When you tried to become God, when you cut that hole into that wall.”

Dean is still furious with Cas: “Forget the game, Cas.” “I’m sorry, Dean.” “No. You’re playing sorry.”

When Dean yells at Cas, he gets upset. He explains that he doesn’t want to get involved: “No, I don’t fight anymore. I watch the bees.”

Dean expresses his frustration with Cas to Kevin: “The angels, they don’t care. I think maybe they just don’t have the equipment to care. It seems like when they try, it just breaks them apart.”

When Hester shows back up again, she mentions Castiel’s deep connection with Dean: “The very touch if you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell, he was lost!”

Cas gives his blood for a spell: “Well, you know me. I’m always happy to bleed for the Winchesters.”

7.23 Survival of the Fittest

We learn that Cas apparently showed up naked on Dean’s car: “We can call Castiel again.” “Dude, on my car, he showed up naked, covered in bees.” “Yeah, I’m not really sorry I missed that.”

Meg complains about Cas to Dean: “Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first.”

Dean gets frustrated trying to communicate with Cas, who is still acting wonky, but he tries hard to be patient with him.

Cas makes sandwiches for the Winchesters made with uncontaminated food from out of the country: “Please, accept this sandwich as a gesture of solidarity.”

Cas still feels ashamed for what he did and is afraid of messing up again: “I can’t help. You understand? I can’t. I destroyed everything, and I will destroy everything again. Can we please just leave it at that?”

Dean loses his patience with Cas: “No, we can’t leave it. You let these freakin’ things in, so you don’t get to make a sandwich, you don’t get a damn cat, nobody cares that you’re broken, Cas! Clean up your mess!”

Dean convinces Cas to help by explaining that he still believes in him: “Bottom of the ninth, and you’re the only guy left on the bench... sorry, but I’d rather have you, cursed or not.” ... “Well, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I detect a note of forgiveness.” “Yeah, well, we’re probably gonna die tomorrow, so...” “Well, I’ll go with you. And I’ll do my best.”

[easypeasybreezy]

Browsing the Archive

Ch 4- Can We Fix It?

Words- 1824

Rating- M

Summary- Sam, Gabriel, Cas, and Dean are on a road trip after stopping the apocalypse.

Tags/Warnings- language, a little angst, uhhh non explicit sexual content (they make out but nothing happens)

Today’s Sabriel week prompt was Canon Fix-It. Once again, thank you @warlockwriter for the beta!

Read on Ao3 here ~

@ditsauthor99 @sabrielevents

***

Gabriel shot up with a start, peeling his face off glass. He was in the back seat of the Impala, and apparently had fallen asleep with his head propped against the window.

“Good morning Sammy!” he heard from the front seat. Gabriel saw that Dean was driving and Sam was sitting passenger, while Castiel was next to him in the backseat behind Sam.

“Dean?” Sam questioned.

“Uh, yeah it’s me,” he said, confused.

Gabriel rubbed the side of face, trying to get some feeling back into it. He decided he would get some information about the situation they were in. “Remind me what we’re doing again?” he yawned, trying to stretch out.

Castiel answered, slightly exasperated. “We’re going to Boise to hunt vampires.”

“Oh yeah. Now I remember.”

Gabriel felt a buzz in his pocket. He took out a cell phone and saw a message from Sam.

These aren’t our Dean and Cas. Should we tell them?

He thought about it for a moment. What would they gain from telling their fake brothers? It wasn’t like they could help. He typed out a response.

Better not Sam, won’t do us any good.  Might as well enjoy the ride ;)

He could almost feel the eyeroll coming from Sam.

Well, let’s try and figure out what the deal with this world is. Check out the date.

Gabriel looked at the date on his phone. July 3rd, 2010. So they had gone back in time to just after the apocalypse? Also, this was obviously a world with supernatural creatures, but he still didn’t have any powers. As far as he could tell, Cas was still a full powered angel. He thought of a way to find more out more information and sent a message back to Sam.

Let me try something.

Before he could start his plan, Dean spoke up. “Who are you texting Sam? Got a hot date?”

“What? No!” said Sam.

“I believe he’s texting Gabriel, he’s been on the phone as well.” Castiel oh so helpfully interjected.

“Huh?” said Dean.

Gabriel tried to get the situation under control by changing the subject and trying his plan. “So, Castiel, I meant to ask. How’s heaven doing now?”

Castiel looked at him confused but answered the question. “It's just fine as we left it. Raphael is still locked away and Samandriel is running things smoothly.”

That was a lot of info to take in. “Great,” was all Gabriel could say, then he continued. “Say, how long have I been with you guys now?”

Castiel squinted his eyes then answered. “I believe it’s been around 5 months now.”

“Wow, time flies.” Gabriel got a message on his phone shortly after that.

You joined us after TV land. Maybe stopped the apocalypse faster?

Gabriel frowned and texted back.

Somehow lost my grace in the process too. Also, left Samandriel in charge of heaven???

He could see Sam shaking his head as he got another text.

I’ve seen a couple of fics like this. You probably used up your grace to get Michael and Lucifer in the cage.

Gabriel sighed. Of course there would be some way to keep him powerless.

At that moment Dean spoke up. “Baby needs some gas, and I could eat something too. Let’s stop at the next gas station.”

“Sure Dean,” answered Sam. The messages stopped, and in a couple of minutes they were pulling into a Gas ‘n Sip. Sam announced he was going to take a walk, and Gabriel followed him. 

They headed around the side of the gas station while Dean pumped gas and Cas went inside to buy snacks. Sam stopped on the other side of the gas station and broke the silence.

“Look, about yesterday,” he started.

“We don’t have to talk about that,” Gabriel quickly answered.

Sam gave a sigh of relief. “Oh, good then.”

After remembering the torture that was yesterday, Gabriel grew frustrated. “How long do you think this will keep up? What does Chuck want? What’s his endgame?”

Sam gave him a pained look. “I don’t know Gabe. I don’t think there is a reason besides entertainment for him, punishment for us.”

“So what, we’re just stuck in here forever? There’s nothing we can do to get out?”

“I don’t know!” Sam repeated a little louder. “Maybe if we go along with things, he’ll let us out eventually.”

Gabriel took that in for a bit in silence. Then he decided to change the subject. “You know, you’re handling this pretty well Sam.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked, tilting his head.

“You’re calm, levelheaded. Don’t really freak out with all this hopping around.”

Sam chuckled in a sad way. “Well, I’ve had a lot of practice.”

What was he talking about? Then Gabriel remembered. He had done pretty much the same thing to him. “I’m sorry.”

Sam put his hands up, palms facing Gabriel. “No, I didn’t mean that, just like, my entire life I’ve been through crazy stuff.”

Gabriel had heard enough. “Still, I put you through so much shit. And look!” he said loudly, gesturing with his hand. “If I hadn’t been such a coward and actually helped out, we could have had this!”

Sam shook his head. “No, we don’t know what we could have had. For all we know, you could have died, or the apocalypse could have actually happened.” He stepped closer to Gabriel. “This isn’t real! This is something that some fan of Chuck’s books thought up.”

Gabriel had to admit Sam had a point. He sighed. “I guess.”

Sam took hold of his shoulders. “Gabriel, listen to me. I shouldn’t have to say this, but I forgive you, okay? I did a long time ago. And if things hadn’t gone the way they did, who knows where we would be now.”

Gabriel was speechless taking in Sam’s words. Sam was too kind, offering his forgiveness that he wasn't sure he deserved. Gabriel actually felt himself tear up. Sam pulled him tight against his chest in a hug. Gabriel tensed up at first, but then allowed himself to relax. He brought his arms up around Sam and hugged him back, pressing his face against his chest.

Gabriel pulled away from Sam with a smile. “You mean, we wouldn’t be in some weird alternate universe created by my dad?”

Sam laughed. “You know what I meant”

Gabriel laughed a bit with him, wiping his eyes, and stepped back.

“Anyways,” said Sam, “this universe doesn’t seem so bad. How about we just enjoy it while we can?”

“Couldn’t agree more, Sam.”

They walked back to the Impala where Dean was finishing with the gas. Cas arrived at the same time with four plastic bags full of snacks.

“Let’s hit the road,” announced Dean, and they all climbed back into the car.

As Dean pulled away, Castiel started dispersing the snacks. Dean got suspicious gas station hot dogs, Sam got suspicious gas station sandwiches, and Gabriel got copious amounts of candy. Everyone received water and chips, but Dean had a Coke and Gabriel a Dr. Pepper. All Castiel got for himself was a coffee.

They spent the trip eating and joking, plus telling embarrassing stories about their brothers. Dean played some classic rock music on the radio and started to sing along. Cas smiled fondly and Sam shook his head with a grin. Gabriel started to sing along, to Dean’s enthusiasm. Sam gave them annoyed looks at first, but eventually joined in singing.

Gabriel couldn’t remember the last time he felt that happy, that content. It felt like home. If he and Sam ever get out of this mess, that’s what he wanted. Life with the Winchesters and his brother- no world ending issues to deal with.

The ride went by in a flash, and they pulled into a motel. They all got out of the car and Dean left and returned with the keys.

“Here’s one for me and Sam, and one for you and Cas,” he said, handing one key to Gabriel.

Gabriel accepted the key then smiled mischievously. “Actually,” he said, moving to Sam and linking his arm with his, “I think I’ll share with Sam.”

“Really?” said Dean, looking at Sam with a raised eyebrow.

“Fine with me,” answered Sam with a shrug.

“What?” Dean looked back and forth from Sam to Gabriel. Cas looked on in silence, just tilting his head.

Then Sam got caught up in the moment and leaned down to give Gabriel a quick smooch. Gabriel beamed at him.

“What the fuck?” Dean eloquently managed. Cas wore a small approving smile.

Sam grinned. “You have your own angel to be with. Goodnight.” Sam and Gabriel turned away to go to their room. 

As they walked, they heard Cas say gently from behind them, “Dean, let’s go.“

Gabriel burst out laughing when they got inside their motel room. “That was amazing.”

“I know, right?” Sam laughed back. “I always wanted to say something like that to him.”

As they put their stuff down and looked around, they noticed there was only one bed in the room.

“Cas doesn’t sleep, so I guess your room only needed one,” Sam explained.

“Well, we probably would have ended up in the same bed anyway.”

“They do like the sharing a bed trope,” Sam chuckled. 

They got quiet, then Sam sat and slid back on the bed. Gabriel followed him and climbed up on his lap. Sam took Gabriel’s waist in his hands, and Gabriel gently cupped his face. They moved towards each other until their lips were pressed together.

They had kissed before, most recently just fifteen minutes ago, but this- this was different. Slow, meaningful, like nothing else mattered in the world. And Gabriel loved it. They explored each other’s mouths, Gabriel humming in contentment. Sam moved his hands under Gabriel’s shirt, and ran them over his stomach, up his chest, enjoying the feeling. Gabriel shuddered, and removed one hand from Sam’s face run through his hair. Sam moaned in response, then reached towards Gabriel's pants.

Gabriel immediately broke the kiss and pulled away. “Sam, wait.”

Sam stopped, putting his hands on the bed. “What is it?”

He slid off Sam and sat next to him on the bed. “I’m sorry, I know I'm sending mixed signals,it’s just, I don’t think I want to go any further while we’re trapped in these worlds. I don’t know if you really want to do this, or if we’re being influenced.” 

“While I’m pretty sure it’s one hundred percent me who wants to do this, I get it Gabe. You don’t have to apologize.”

Gabriel bit back the apology that was on the tip of his tongue.

Sam smiled. “A little kissing is still okay though?” he asked. “And we can still go to sleep together?”

Gabriel brightened up. “Absolutely.”

They kissed one more time before getting ready for bed, and fell asleep curled up in each other’s arms.

[saywhatjessie]

Fucking Hollywood

Aro!Dean 1.8k (Ao3)

“It’s just so frustrating!” Sam threw up his hands, the breath of his explosive sigh blowing his bangs around.

Dean just nodded non-committedly. Sam had been going on about this for the last twenty minutes.

“I mean, representation is important. Everyone knows that. Studies and stuff, right? So if we all know this, why is it still so hard to find content without sex in it?!”

Dean grunted. Sam waved a hand at him as if it had been a grunt of agreement.

This would be better if Dean had somewhere to go, but it was his own fault for offering to drive his brother back to school after his visit. He could have easily given the kid money for a bus but, no, Dean — being the amazing older brother he was — had offered to drive Sam back to Stanford.

And now he was trapped in his own car, listening to Sam bitch about sex in the media. Again.

“I’m not even talking, like, explicit HBO sex. But just this idea that sex is always the endgame and the thing that’s the most important of all things. When a character has sex for the first time it’s a Big Deal and like, why? Narratively? For what reason? Why does it matter in movies if someone’s a virgin?”

“Well, you know Hollywood, Sammy,” Dean reasoned, doing his best to diffuse the situation. “It’s like Hooters. Just there to do one thing.”

Sam snorted. “What? Titillate men?”

“Okay, A) You’re men. And two I meant make money. Sex sells, Sammy. I hate to say it but it’s true.”

Sam groaned. “Okay, maybe , but media also helps define culture. If we continue in this cycle where sex is the most valued commodity than how are we supposed to move past it?”

Dean sighed, unsure how to respond to that.

Sam had gone to college and come back gay. Or, rather, ‘queer’. Dean wasn’t totally sure what that meant except that, according to Sam, ‘gay’ and ‘queer’ didn’t necessarily mean he wanted to fuck dudes. Actually, in Sam’s case, he was gay in a way that meant he just didn’t want to fuck at all. Or he only wanted to fuck people he also wanted to marry. Something to do with Demi Moore? Dean still wasn’t clear on the details.

Whatever Sam’s sexual status, he had also come back from college with a vendetta against society’s obsession with sex. Which, objectively, Dean could get behind. But as a card-carrying, porn watching, one-night-stand having red blooded American, Dean couldn’t invest any personal devotion into it.

“It’s not even just Hollywood! Fan created content has historically been a refuge for marginalized people to create a space in the universes they love for people who are like them. Like Kirk and Spock in Star Trek.”

“Are you writing a thesis? What the fuck?”

“But even in fan-created spaces it’s like all they care about is whether or not the characters are boning,” Sam said, disgusted. “Like, that’s not what their relationship is about. Kirk and Spock aren’t compelling because they wanna bone. They’re compelling because they’re, like, accidentally the greatest love story ever told.”

Dean sighed again, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel.

“Okay…” he started, aware that the only way out of this conversation was through. “So I admit, I don’t know a whole lot about,” he gestured vaguely at Sam. “That. But me, personally, I have a hard time telling the difference between romantic and platonic love.”

“So like aromanticism.”

“No, what?” Dean glanced at Sam who was looking at him weirdly. “I don’t know. But one of the only ways I know how to confirm the difference is with sex.”

Sam was shaking his head before Dean had even finished. “But that’s not how that works. You don’t need sex to prove it’s love. That’s what I’ve been talking about!” Sam slumped dramatically in his seat, throwing his head back, before sitting straight again. “The difference between romantic and platonic love is there without sex. They feel different. They just do. As an asexual person, I know this better than anyone.”

Sam was pretty sure ‘asexual’ wasn’t the word Sam had used before but he didn’t really understand it all anyway and didn’t want to ask.

“Okay…”

“You can’t tell the difference between romantic and platonic love?” Sam asked, his focus now entirely on Dean.

Shit . Dean squirmed. “No, not really.”

“So you’re aromantic?”

“I don’t know, man.”

“No, no, stop looking like that.” Dean made an attempt to stop grimacing. “No pressure or anything, it’s just that that is, definitionally, what aromanticism is. Not being able to distinguish a difference between romantic and platonic love. Because you don’t really feel the first one.”

Dean was definitely grimacing again.

He looked down at his arm when he felt Sam lay a hand on his bicep. “Thank you for trusting me with this moment.”

Dean shook him off, scoffing. “Shut up, man. Whatever. You know how I feel about labels.”

Sam took his hand back, biting back a smile. “Yeah, I know. But it’s good to have a word for it. Helps other people understand where you’re coming from. Helps you understand yourself.”

“I think I have a pretty good understanding of myself.”

Sam just snorted, not bothering to further respond to that, but then, blissfully, changed the subject.

Dean hated himself for bringing it up but it didn’t stop him from asking. “Hey, Cas, you ever hear of aromanticism?”

It was Thursday which meant it was Roadhouse night. There wasn’t any real reason they’d chosen Thursday for their weekly bar meetup, it had just been the only night they had free early on. Further down the road, they had begun cancelling plans to make it to the bar on Thursday, and now Thursday was firmly bar night. The bar of choice: The Roadhouse.

Cas blinked over at him over his large pint of whatever shitty IPA he’d chosen that day. “From my understanding of Greek prefixes I can presume it means to be without romance.”

Dean snorted, taking a sip of his own (proper, dark) beer before nodding. It figured Cas could guess what it meant without being told. He was smart as fuck.

“Eh, kinda,” he continued, tracing patterns in the water droplets on his glass. “I think it means to be without romantic love. Romantic attraction?” He shrugged, eyes in his beer. “Sam explained it better.”

Cas nodded back, smiling softly. “It was lovely to see him. He’s grown up so much.”

Dean grinned, ducking his head.

It was a little embarrassing how soft he let himself get around Cas. They’d been friends for four years, meeting in Cas’s Sophomore year of college when he needed to interview Dean for his college paper. Dean had been working as a mechanic at the time. He was still working as a mechanic, actually, but Cas, as an actual reporter person, interviewed people far more interesting than Dean.

Cas had been there for John’s death. For Sam’s high school graduation. Sam going off to school. Cas had seen Dean in way more emotionally compromised positions. Dean let himself be soft around Cas.

It didn’t mean he’d let it last longer than he had to, though.

“Yeah. That kid picked up all kinds of wild shit in college. You know he’s gay now, right?”

Cas rolled his eyes, a touch of annoyance furrowing his eyebrow. “You really shouldn’t casually out your brother, Dean.” Dean rolled his eyes back. “But yes, I saw it on Facebook. He posted about it.”

“Well then I didn’t out him!” Dean waved his hand as if to say ‘there you go’. “And, besides, I couldn’t get the words right if I wanted to. I still don’t remember what he actually said he was.”

“Demisexual, heteroromantic,” Cas responded automatically. He blinked and then corrected himself. “Or… aromantic? Is that why you brought it up?”

Dean shook his head, looking into his beer again. “Nah, Sam’s not that. That’s what he says I am.”

A horrible pause of horrible silence Dean stared into his beer.

“Are you?” Cas asked, gently.

Dean looked up. Cas appeared nothing but softly interested.

Dean shrugged, all shoulders, no eye-contact. “Nah. Maybe. I don’t know about labels, man.”

Cas nodded, consideringly. Dean watched him take a sip of his beer. He spent a lot of time staring at Cas’s neck this way.

Cas tipped his head as he put his glass back on the bar. “You don’t have to talk about it. But it may be worth looking up so you can potentially learn more about yourself.”

Again with the learning about yourself thing.

Dean shook his head. “I don’t think I need to do that. I think I’m fine.”

Cas seemed to deflate a little, the sag of his shoulders making Dean cautiously curious.

“Of course,” he said, taking another long pull from his glass. “Forgive me, I suppose I hoped — ”

He cut himself off, looking sternly into the dregs of his own beer.

Dean watched him. His blue eyes were washed out in the yellow light from the bar but the dark shadows defining his profile made him just as striking. The clench of his jaw. The furrow of his eyebrows. The tension in his shoulders.

Dean downed his beer.

He put the glass gently on the bar, pushing both his and Cas’s away from them before turning and putting his hand on Cas’s shoulder.

“You wanna go on a date with me, Cas?”

Cas looked up at him, sharply, eyes wide. “Dean?”

Dean suddenly wished he had beer to nervously swig. Well, no going back now .

“If I don’t feel romantic attraction or whatever – if I’m not just waiting for the right girl and I’m never gonna – then I wanna be with my best friend. And that’s you.”

Cas’s eyes were still wide and it looked like he was biting his lip.

“My best friend who I’m still very much attracted to!” Dean rushed to correct, realizing that Cas might be afraid that this was just him settling. “Jesus fuck , am I attracted to you. I never did anything about it because I was probably straight, ya know? But obviously I’m not so...” He shrugged.

Cas was still just staring at him.

Dean’s hand twitched. “You gonna just leave me hangin, man? I don’t really know wh–”

Cas surged forward, hands coming up to cup Dean’s jaw as he kissed him quiet.

Dean had never allowed himself space to imagine this kiss. But he’s sure he never would have been able to capture it anyway. So easy. So nice.

It was the kind of kiss where if Dean would ever have had butterflies, he’s sure they would have been hammering away in his stomach at that moment.

Guess it’s official, then. I’m aromantic .

Dean could feel Cas smile as he kissed him.

I’m fine with that .

[illuminating-dragons]

In Name

Summary:  With Chuck and Amara made up, Sam, Dean and Cas decide to take a vacation. But on their way back, they find a case, and it hits close to home.

Note: Sequel to In Vain (on AO3 only)

Word Count: 10, 810

           Dean looked up in shock as the dark and light clouds intermingled. There was a rumble, and he was standing in another place, with Sam and Cas beside him.

           “Dean?!”

Sam grabbed him first, hugging him tight as he could. Dean patted his back. “Okay, Sammy. Okay.”

           And somehow it was, after all. Somehow Amara and Chuck…they’d decided not to fight. They’d decided to be family instead. And Dean had somehow convinced them to do that.

           That was pretty awesome.

           So was the next moment, when Sam let go of him and Cas dragged him into a kiss that sent his head spinning. He clutched at Cas’ coat to stay upright, but Cas pulled him closer.

           Dean broke away at last. “Oxygen, babe, oxygen.”

           “Irrelevant.”

It was almost as hard to breathe now, clutched against Cas’ chest. But that didn’t really matter. He was alive, he was with his family…amazing.

“Um, can we have a group hug?”

Cas let go of Dean just long enough to drag Sam in too. “Of course.”

“This is a lot of hugging,” Dean complained.

“You admitted it about the chick-flick moments, dude. You can’t go back from that.”

Dean could feel Cas’ laugh, and he could barely manage a muttered ‘shut up’. Barely wanted to, honestly.

Something in the air shifted, and Cas stopped laughing. “Father.”

Dean looked up. Chuck was there, Amara beside him. They were both smiling hugely.

“Wait, I thought you guys were going to like…bond and stuff,” Dean said, confused.

“We did. Three millennia.” Amara looked more relaxed than Dean had ever seen her. She was wearing a bright flowered dress now, her nails multicoloured and her hair up in a bun.

“It’s only been five minutes,” Dean replied.

“Well of course!” Chuck looked surprised. “We just went to another dimension. We’ve got a lot of work to do here. I didn’t want to leave you in the lurch here.”

“Wait.” Sam looked at Dean. “What did happen?”

Dean thought about how to explain it best. “They’re family.”

“Oh. Okay, great!” Sam smiled at Chuck, and nodded a bit nervously to Amara. “I’m happy for you.”

“Sorry about trying to kill you, Sam.” Amara looked genuinely regretful.

“Eh, it’s alright. It’s happened.”

Dean pressed his lips together. “Not funny, Sammy.”

“It’s hilarious.” Sam grinned at him.

“Children,” Chuck scolded.

Amara looked at Cas next. “And nephew…I didn’t want to damage you, did I—”

“No. You never touched me. Lucifer kept any reverberations from my Grace.”

“Assbutt wouldn’t have had to if he hadn’t worn you to prom.”

“Lucifer will be dealt with,” Chuck promised. His voice was softer than Amara’s. “I caused a great deal of his problems, and I let him run amuck. He will be punished, but when that is done, if he seeks forgiveness he will be granted it.”  

“I don’t mind.” Dean was shocked to hear that from Sam.

“Wait, really?”

“Is he ever going to be able to hurt me or my family again?” Sam asked.

“No.” It was Amara who said that, and Chuck nodded.

“Then I don’t care. Just make sure of that.” Sam paused. “Please.”

“We can do you one better,” Chuck said. He reached towards Sam. Sam tensed, but allowed Chuck to touch his face. Dean saw the hurt bleeding out of his brother, saw him calm. Sam pressed a hand to his stomach, stared at Chuck in wonder.

“You needed to be healed, Sam. And I’m sorry it didn’t come sooner.”

“That’s okay,” Sam managed. He was trembling now, but smiling, and Dean’s heart ached. He hadn’t seen Sammy smile like that in years.

Amara reached out to Cas. “Here, nephew. Your wings are hurt.”

There was a flash of light—so bright Dean couldn’t look—and Cas stood tall, looking as surprised as Sam. “Thank you, Aunt.”

“It’s the least I could do, Castiel.”

“We’ll deal with Heaven too, Cas.” Chuck looked more relaxed now. “Your brothers and sisters will understand what you have done and why, and they will welcome you home. You won’t be living there, though.”

Cas looked stricken, but Dean’s heart was pounding. Did Chuck mean…

“You’re welcome to visit, but I have a very important mission for you. I believe two men need a guardian angel. Can you follow orders this time, Castiel?” Chuck’s eyes were dancing, and Sam laughed.

“I think Dean needs him more than I do.”

           “Neither of you are good at taking care of yourselves,” Cas contradicted him. “I’m happy to guard you both. I will follow orders, Father.”

           “It’ll be great to have you Cas.” Sam smirked. “And you can have Dean’s back. Or have him on his back.”

           Dean blushed. “Damn it, Sammy, you can’t just—”

           “Seven years. Seven years, Dean.”

           “To be fair I was dead for some of that time,” Cas pointed out.

           “And we were in Purgatory.”

           “See I figured that would help. Just you, Cas, Benny and endless woods.”

           “Not to mention endless monsters.”

           “We have to go,” Amara interrupted. “Heaven is calling, as is Hell.”

           “Right, sister, of course.” Chuck put his hand on Cas’ shoulder for a moment, and father and son shared a long look. Cas drew in a sharp breath.

           “You should tell them.”

           “No, you go ahead. You deserve to.” Chuck stepped back and took Amara’s hand. “Farewell, Team Free Will. We may see you again.” The two dissolved into clouds again, and this time Dean watched as they went into the sky once more.

           Sam let out a huge breath. “That was…wow.”

           “Awesome,” Dean agreed. “Cas, what did he tell you?”

           He was struck by the light in his—boyfriend? Lover?—his Cas’ eyes.

           “My Father has decided to return some people to Earth.”

           Dean’s heart started pounding. “Some people?”

           “Your family. Your friends. Several other innocents who have died.”

           “R-really?” Sam’s smile grew bigger, somehow.

           “Yes. It will take time, and some…negotiation with the Reapers. But they will return.”

           “They’re coming back?” Mom was the first one who popped into Dean’s head. And Bobby, Charlie, Kevin, Ellen, Jo, Ash…

           “Yes, dearest. All of them.”

           Dean couldn’t speak. He pulled Cas and Sam into his arms, and let the relief of the Darkness’ presence being gone, of not having the Mark, of the world maybe, maybe being safe for the first time from powers beyond their pay grade.

           “So you’re good with the group hugs now?” Sam asked, his voice muffled.

           “Shut up, bitch.”

           “Jerk.”

           When they pulled apart at last, they looked around themselves properly for the first time. Dean recognized it—it was a road about forty-five minutes outside of Lebanon. Baby was there too, parked and gleaming in the sunshine.

           “Let’s go home,” Dean said. “We’ve got work to do.”

“Sammy, we’re back!”

           Sam looked up from the catalogue. “In the library!”

           It was four weeks after the sun was saved, and Sam had made a decent amount of progress. Going through the Bunker’s catalogue and making sure that they still had all the books (and that they were where they were supposed to be) wasn’t so hard, but digitizing the books was taking longer. It wasn’t just that finding a good scanner and filling out enough fake credit card applications that he could buy one (and then drive two hours to pick it up) took time, but he kept getting distracted. There was so much new information here, and some of the books were so interesting that he ended up reading several chapters instead of scanning the pages.

           Not that it really mattered. The others would be here soon, and Sam knew that Charlie for sure would be really into this part.

           It still blew Sam away that people were really coming back. But it was happening; Cas had gone to visit Heaven once a week, and each time he reported on the progress with bringing their family back. To their surprise, Billie had agreed to let it happen. The real trick was balancing the energies of souls leaving Heaven. Cas had attempted to explain until Sam and Dean had begged him to stop.

           In the end, the solution was just to have two people come back at a time. It wasn’t just their family; there were other people coming back (Sam wanted to know how they were going to explain that, but Cas asked, and the response to that hurt his head even more). So it would take time, but Chuck promised that by the end of six months, their entire family would be home. They had a list of names, and a letter signed by all of the returning saying they were happy to come home, yes they knew everything, and that they didn’t want to hear any damn apologies.

           (That particular statement had been bolded, underlined, circled and initialed by all).

           So the three of them had been a little bit at a loss the first few weeks. Sure, it was great to sleep in and watch crappy Netflix (and good Netflix) and finally get around to organizing the Bunker, but something stopped them from getting too deeply into any project.

           For the first time, they could plan projects and know that people were going to be there to help contribute. And there were no major bad guys to deal with, either. In fact, the supernatural world had been very quiet lately (Crowley had called late one night and muttered something about Hell being back under control, and Rowena chimed in that the ‘Mega-Coven’ was finally getting off the ground).  

           Dean’s solution was to start setting up rooms. He’d cleaned Kevin and Charlie’s room and bought them some updated geek gear, and set aside rooms for the other people coming home who’d never seen the Bunker. Cas had been darting in and out with groceries, making sure they were fully stocked. He’d also disappeared into the store rooms a few times, and apart from a couple of crashes there’d been a lot of progress. There were now neat notecards for three shelves of artifacts. Only seventy-five to go, but they’d be there to take care of that.

           And so were the others.

           Dean and Cas came in, holding hands. Sam still wasn’t used to that; he was partly sure he was dreaming. But it was real, Dean and Cas were smiling and happy, very much in love, and there was so much less eyesex. And Cas had even soundproofed their room after that one time.

           “What you reading?”

           “Treatise on church use in hunting,” Sam said. “Looks like we weren’t the first to take advantage of sacred ground to kill a ghost.”

           “Probably the first to kill a racist possessed truck though, right?”

           “So far, yeah.” Sam put the book down. “So what did you two get up to?”

           Dean opened his mouth and Sam inserted hastily “that I want to hear.”

           “Child,” Dean sniffed. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

           “Yes you do.”

           Dean shrugged. “Whatever. We mostly just drove, and we had an idea.”

           “We want to go for a road trip, Sam.” Cas said. “One without a hunt. Dean was telling me about the times you went as young adults, and they sound fun. I’m also eager to see more of the country than several thousand Biggersons.”

           “Oh, that’s a great idea!” Sam ignored the disappointment in his chest. Some quiet might be nice, after all. “Where are you thinking?”

           “Well, obviously we want to be home for—well, when everyone starts to come back. So not far. Maybe down to California? Go to the beach?”

           “Yeah. I can give you a list of great places there.” He’d travelled a lot with Jess the summer before their fourth year.

           “Cool. Go start packing, I’m making burgers.”

           “Oh. What?”

           “Do you not want to come?”

           “I thought you meant you and Cas. Like a…a romantic trip or something.”

           “And leave you alone? Sammy, you won’t get fresh air if we leave you.” Dean smiled fondly at Cas. “He’s like a puppy. He forgets how doors work.”

           “Bite me.” Sam straightened the treatise. “I don’t know, I just thought…”

           “We need a Team Free Will trip before we do anything else.” Dean’s face softened. “It’s been a rough few years for all three of us. It’d be nice to have a break.”

           “Sounds good.” Sam stood. “So burgers?”

           “Yup. And fries. I got some potatoes and I’m gonna make some from scratch. Now go get packed. We’re gonna leave early tomorrow morning.”

           Cas smiled at the desk agent. “Two rooms, please.”

           It was nearing sunset, and they’d finally found a hotel. Cas had rejected every motel they’d driven by. This was a vacation, not a hunt, and they weren’t staying anywhere that didn’t have at least three stars.

           If Cas had his way, they’d never stay in a motel ever again, but Sam and Dean had their habits.

           “That’s our last two,” the woman said cheerfully. As she was cutting the keycards, her eyes looked over to Sam and Dean. “Are you three reporters?”

           “No,” Cas replied politely. “We’re just on vacation.”

           “You didn’t look like reporters,” the woman admitted. She handed him the keys. “But that’s all that’s been in today.”

           “Really? What about?”

           The woman leaned forward. “Well, it’s kind of sad, actually. There’s been two deaths in Joshua. It’s not far from here, but it’s such a little town there’s nowhere to stay there.”

           “I am sorry to hear that,” Cas said. And he was, for more reason than one. “Why all of the media interest in this tragedy?”

           “There hasn’t been a murder in Joshua. Like, ever. And two so close together?”

           Cas swallowed. “Has this been on the news?”

           The woman handed him a newspaper. “The first one happened last week, and the second was three days ago.”

           “Thank you.” Cas took a glance at the first few paragraphs. He fought the urge to slam the paper down, to burn it.

           This was supposed to be a vacation.

           When he rejoined the brothers, he was tempted to say nothing. But of course, Dean could tell something was wrong.

           “What is it Cas? Not enough rooms?”

           “No, no. Come on, they’re next door to each other.”

           “How next door?” Sam asked.

           Dean glared at him. “We’re not that loud.”

           “I didn’t say you were loud. I said I could hear you.”

           Cas let his thoughts wander as they bickered. Perhaps it was only a serial killer—well, serial was three, so a double murderer. Perhaps there was nothing supernatural about it.

           But as they’d been driving he’d felt a bit of a tug in his Grace, a warning. He’d prayed about it, and his Father had answered for once. It hadn’t been helpful.

           Let it happen, Castiel.

           Because that, of course, wasn’t mildly terrifying at all.

           Threats to come up to Heaven and demand answers hadn’t provoked his Father, but there was no further information.

           Cas knew he was being selfish. He just wanted to be able to relax with his mate and his best friend. To spend some time with them in peace after all of the forces that had tried to pull them apart. Apparently that was asking too much.

           When Dean put a hand on his neck, he jumped.

           “Babe,” Dean said seriously. “Can we go inside?”

           Cas realized he was frowning at a hotel door. Sam looked concerned.

           “Sorry.” He swiped the key and entered.

           It was a nice room, clean with two queen beds. Cas put his bag down and Dean did the same.

           “Can I have my room key, Cas?” Sam asked softly.

           “In a second, Sammy. Cas, what’s wrong? Did the desk lady say something to upset you?”

           Cas took Dean’s hand. “No, dearest. Well, she did, but not intentionally.”

           “Cas…”

           Cas handed Dean the newspaper. The article was splashed all over the front page, and Sam stood over Dean’s shoulder to read it.

           “Well that sucks.” Then Dean read the article again. “Wait a minute.”

           Cas groaned. He wasn’t a very good hunter, but even he’d noticed the pattern.

           “That looks like a woman in white,” Sam said. “Look; both men’s bodies were found by the highway, leading out to an abandoned house.���

           “It may not be,” Cas said. “The desk agent says there hadn’t been a murder in fifty years. Isn’t that odd for a woman in white?”

           “Not necessarily.” Sam was now deep in thought. “They don’t have to kill all the time. Maybe there aren’t a lot of unfaithful dudes in this town.”

           Dean noticed the trouble in Cas’ face. “Cas? What’s wrong? This is just a ghost, we’ve done this a lot.”

           “I was hoping we would be taking a vacation.” Cas sighed. “I didn’t want the supernatural to intrude upon that.”

           “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to, honey.”

           “Don’t be ridiculous.” Cas got himself under control. “We can’t allow people to suffer when we can help.” He touched Dean’s face. “Besides, I want to practice hunting more anyways.”

           Sam laughed. “You did a pretty decent job last time, Cas.”

           “Are you sure you’re okay with this, Cas? You look worried.”

           He’d promised not to lie to Dean anymore. “I feel like something is going to happen. Something bad.”

           “Has your—has Chu—has anyone said anything?”

           “He told me to let it happen. Which means that it can’t be that bad, because he promised you two would be okay. Perhaps it’s just going to end up with one of you injured. Again.”

           “Yeah, but my angel can heal us,” Dean said with a grin. “Remember? It won’t be like before.”

           That made something in Cas’ heart unclench. All those years of sitting helpless as Sam and Dean suffered, unable to heal them fully, unable to shoulder their pain…those were over too.

           Adjusting to good things was sometimes just as hard as adjusting to bad.

           “You’re right. Joshua isn’t far from here, and we’ll have a couple of days before we have to drive home.”

           Dean grinned. “Exactly. It’ll be good to get an old-fashioned one under our belts, anyways.”

           Cas tried to be positive through the rest of the night, eating room service and watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine before Sam went to bed. Dean was tired, and they exchanged only a few kisses before he fell asleep.

           Cas had no need to sleep, and as he held Dean against his chest he looked up at the ceiling. Father, please answer me. Please don’t make me lose them.

           There was silence for a while, and then: let it happen, Castiel.

         “I’m sorry for your loss, Mr. Grant.”

           Dean was sitting on a porch in Joshua, feeling much more awkward than usual. He’d gotten used to dealing with grieving people over the years, though it was never easy. But this man’s grief was radiating from him with an intensity Dean had never seen before.

           “I appreciate the condolences, Mr. Novak.” Eric Grant was in his early sixties, but Dean guessed that without grief weighing him down, he wouldn’t look a day over forty-five. Far too young to bury a child.

           “So you were sent by which paper again?”

           “It’s a blog, actually. My brother likes to write about California small towns, and he’s always hated the fact that crimes go cold in small towns because of lack of interest.”

           Mr. Grant sighed. “My wife died when my boys were young. It’s always been the three of us. I thought it always would be.”

           “And your son James was the first…the first man who died?”

           “Yes. He was such a good kid. Always loved tinkering with things.” There was a momentary expression of pride on his face. “He got out of here, you know. Made it all the way to college. But he came back to visit me and his brother every chance he could.”

           “Did he ever have a girlfriend?”

           “No, but he’s had a few boyfriends.” Eric looked him in the eye. “Got a problem with that?”

           “No sir,” Dean promised. “I’ve got a boyfriend of my own.”

           Eric relaxed. “I never had a problem either. Some people in this town did, but they came around eventually, or I knew the reasons why.”

           “Was he dating anyone…recently?”

           “Nope. There’s not a lot of out people around here, and James was here all summer. He broke up with his last boyfriend a few months ago because he wanted to come home, and Buck didn’t want to follow.” Eric’s eyes filled with tears. “And he came home to…”

           Dean winced. “His story will be told, sir. And I promise the answer will be found.”

           “I appreciate that.” Eric rocked back in his chair for a minute. When he’d regained composure, he said, “may as well get it over with. What do you want to know about Tyler?”

           “Tyler Thompson?” Dean asked in surprise. “Did you know him?”

           Eric narrowed his eyes. “Of course I do. He is—was—my younger son.”

                                                    ************

           “So Tyler changed his name when you got married?” Sam asked. He and Cas exchanged a look.

           Rita Thompson was wrapped in a too-big robe, holding a too-big mug in shaking fingers. She was still crying, she hadn’t stopped since they’d come in the house. Her daughter slept in a bassinet on the counter, arms around a purple dog.

           “Yes,” Rita answered at last. “I didn’t want to change mine, and he respected that. But he said he wanted to—he wanted to show the world he was mine. So he was Tyler Thompson, and our daughter has my name.”

           “Tyler sounds like a great guy.”

           “He really was. He was the best man I’ve ever known. He was always so gentle, but strong too. He could lift me over his head, and that’s high.”

           Sam had noticed the doors when they came in; he hadn’t had to duck. “Did he build this house?”

           That brought a small smile. “He just adjusted all the doors. He was six-five. He said he was sorry when Jill was born—she was almost eleven pounds, and he was worried she’d inherited his height.” The tears were still flowing, slow and steady. Sam remembered crying like that after Jess died, endless tears for three days while Dean took care of him. After that, he lost the ability to cry that long.

           “Rita?”

           Sam looked up. Another man had just come in the back door, a little bit shorter than Cas. Cas tensed beside Sam as the stranger pressed a kiss to Rita’s cheek.

           The newcomer looked at them coldly. “I swear to God, if you’re reporters—”

           “Isaac, don’t. They’re…they’re nice.” Rita patted his arm. “I promise.”

           Isaac still didn’t look friendly.

           “We can leave, if you want,” Cas offered. “I understand you need time as a family to grieve.”

           “Family?” Isaac’s stared at Rita. “Did you tell them?!”

           “No,” Rita whispered. “I didn’t.”

           Then Isaac seemed to deflate, sagging against the counter with his arm around Rita. “Guess I kind of did.” He glared at the two of them. “Don’t you fucking print this.”

           “Print…what?” Sam asked.

           Rita took Isaac’s hand. “We were all together. The three of us.”

           “Oh.” Sam took a second. “Did you change your name too, Isaac?”

           “No.” Isaac half-laughed. “Obviously we couldn’t all get married. And it was easier for Rita and Tyler; I have some…unpleasant family members. They wouldn’t like it if I suddenly married a man, and even Rita’s not right for them.”

           “I offend their racist sensibilities,” Rita explained. “ ‘Indian’s only one step up from a black woman,’ apparently.”

           Sam hadn’t even noticed, but now that she’d pointed it out he noticed the high cheekbones, the narrow brown eyes, the darker skin.  

           “I’m sorry for your loss, Isaac.”

           Isaac just nodded. He laid his cheek against Rita’s hair and closed his eyes.

           “Did anyone know about you three?”

           “We’ve tried to keep it quiet for Isaac’s sake,” Rita answered. Jill started to fuss, and Rita reached over, resettled the dog. “But Tyler’s dad knew, and some of my friends.”

           “Have you ever been publicly affectionate?” Cas asked.

           “Not really. Hugs, and that, but like I said, we’ve been quiet about it. Why do you ask?”

           To Sam’s surprise, Cas told the truth. Well, part of the truth.

           “Sam’s brother is my lover. He’s here as well, and…it’s always a risk, you know?”

           “Don’t worry about that around here,” Isaac said. “My family lives a ways away, and I don’t even think they’d be violent. The only reason I don’t tell them all to go to hell is that my dad would never let me see my mom again, and she’s sick. I don’t want to lose what time I have left with her. But you’ll be okay.”

           “Thank you.” Cas shook hands with both of them. “Do either of you need anything right now? Other than to be left to grieve in private?”

           Rita trembled and closed her eyes.

           “We’re alright,” Isaac said hoarsely. “At least we will be.”

           Sam took out one of his new cards. “Let us know if you need anything at all. We’ll probably be around a couple more days.”

           When they got outside, Sam took a deep breath, but the weight of Rita and Isaac’s grief still lingered. He was about to ask Cas what he thought about this development, when he got a text from Dean.

           They’re brothers.

           I know.

           Now what?

           Cas laid on the bed, newspapers spread out around him. There were only four newspapers in a twenty-mile radius, but they carried plenty of local gossip. But apart from an interesting article about a local beekeeper association, there was nothing relevant to him.

           Dean was sitting on the floor (he’d protested but Cas had really needed the full bed, if only for a moment), and he was on the phone with the morgue.

           “Alright yes, I understand. Thank you for your time.” Dean hung up and sighed. “Tyler and James were both found with their shirts open, and the wounds are consistent with Woman in White victims.”

           “But neither of them cheated?” Cas said.

           “James didn’t have anyone to cheat on,” Dean confirmed. “I know dads don’t know everything about their sons, but they seemed really close. And Sam’s pretty damn sure about Tyler too. He had a wife and a guy.”

           “Then perhaps these men were simply killed by some sort of serial killer. Rita and Isaac mentioned trouble with Isaac’s family.”

           “Did some checking on Facebook for them. They were all miles away at a family reunion. Guess Isaac didn’t make the cut.” Dean’s jaw clenched. “Could be someone else, but…”

           The hotel door opened to Sam, his laptop under his arm and holding a takeout bag. “I stopped by the diner,” he explained. “They actually had a Cobb salad.”

           “Any luck at the library?”

           Sam took out his salad and tossed the rest of the bag to Cas. “A weird kind of luck. But here’s the thing—I went to the scene too.”

           “Sam!” Dean stopped unwrapping the burger. “That could have been—”

           “I’m not with anyone, Dean.” Sam didn’t seem riled. “And I didn’t go to the scene of the bodies, just along the road. And EMF readings…it was going bonkers. There’s been ghost activity down there for sure.”

           “So maybe it’s a vengeful spirit,” Cas theorized. “Perhaps it has something to do with their father?”

           Sam shook his head. “I still think it was a Woman in White, but…kinda different. When I was at the library I went pretty deep into the weeds, and I think I found her.” He opened his laptop. On the screen was a picture of a woman in late 19th century clothes.

           “Her name was Prudence Jennings. She lived a couple of towns over. In 1891, her children were reported dead, and her death day is the same date.”

           “So you think it’s the classic Woman in White scenario?” Cas asked. “She killed her children because her husband was unfaithful?”

           “Yeah, but get this. I went into the archives, and man, those people save everything. If I was actually running a blog I’d want access. But I found Temperance Morris’ diary. She was Prudence’s sister—”

           “Those names are made up, right?”

           Sam ignored Dean. “Temperance wrote that her sister’s husband wasn’t fond of women, even if he’d given her two children. She hinted that maybe Mr. Jennings was sleeping with…well, a man.”

           “Ah. That’s more complicated.”

           “Is it?” Sam asked. “I mean, it���s still murder-suicide because of infidelity. And there were cases back in the 30s and 40s in this area of Woman in White activity. At least there were murders of men, and some of them were…uh, ‘known homosexuals’”.

           Cas winced. “So she’s going after unfaithful gay men.”

           “Yeah. The last one was in Joshua in 1951, and it was a man who was out. Apparently it broke his partner’s heart when he went missing.”

           “That’s still a long time between kills,” Dean said. “Maybe another hunter wasted her?”

           “I don’t think so,” Sam said. He took out John’s journal.

           Cas scowled.

           “Dad—he wrote about this case. It’s just a small paragraph, but it mentioned Prudence’s sister, that’s how I got onto the journal. He marked it possible Woman in White, but he marked it cold too.”

           Cas leaned back. They’d only had the one conversation about John, and he was still a touchy subject. “Is that possible? For Women in White to stop?” Your father cannot be trusted.

           “She could have moved on, maybe? That would be really hard, but maybe she got up the courage to go home with her children.”

           “So let’s say it is Prudence. Why did she go after Tyler and James? Neither of them have been unfaithful.”

           “But they’re both men who have been in relationships with men,” Cas said. “And Tyler is married to a woman and carrying on a relationship with a man. Even if the three are in agreement…”

           “That might be enough.”

           “So there hasn’t been anyone gay or unfaithful in this town since the 40s? Is that even possible?”

           “We’ve got to rule it out, I guess. There definitely haven’t been any murders.”

           “This seems fake.”

           “How cynical you two are,” Cas said.

           “Are your angel senses telling you anything?” Dean asked.

           Cas rolled his eyes, but he nodded. “I believe the records in this town are honest, and I don’t sense anything odd. But I’m still getting used to having my powers again, and some of what I sense isn’t making…sense.”

           “What, exactly?”

           Cas reached out again, like he’d been doing for the last two hours. “I believe there is a ghost, and they have…they have a grudge. But that’s all I know. I’m sorry. I can go fly out.”

           “We might need you for something else,” Sam said. “If it is a Woman in White, we should do our best to lure her out. And that means someone queer needs to cheat on their partner.” He smiled at Cas and Dean.

           “Do you think that’ll work?” Dean asked.

           “I promise I won’t do anything to betray you, Dean,” Cas said gently. “I will only go as far as absolutely necessary. Do you know where Prudence’s house was, Sam?”

           “Yup. It’s right along the road I drove earlier. There’s not much left of it, but that’s fine. It’ll work for what we need to do. If you’re going to be the bait, Cas, why don’t Dean and I run out there earlier? That way we can wait there for you.”

           “Alright. Should we do this tonight?”

           “May as well. We should start heading home soon. And it might give the families a little bit of closure.” Sam bit his lip, and Cas knew he was remembering the grief in the Thompson house. Closure wouldn’t help that family for a long, long time.

           “I’m going to take a shower before we go,” Sam announced. He got up and headed to the bathroom. The minute the water started running, Dean grabbed Cas’ hands.

           “Babe, are you sure this is going to work?”

           “Well, it will not if this ghost is not a Woman in White. But we may still attract the ghost. Don’t worry, Dean, we’ll be home in time to greet your family.”

           “That’s not really what I’m worried about. I mean…will it count as you being unfaithful to me?”

           “I told you, only as far as necessary, Dean.”

           Dean sighed. “Have we even been—have we been together long enough?”

           By now, Cas was fluent in Winchester, particularly the Dean variety. “You mean more to me than anyone else living, Dean Winchester. I love you deeply. Any act against that would be a great betrayal. I’d deserve to be killed by a ghost were I unfaithful.”

           Dean’s breathing was still a little bit shaky, but he nodded. “Sorry. I guess I…I guess I still need to hear that. I love you too.”

           Cas pulled Dean into his arms, wishing away his anger. It was no good to Dean right now. “You know, if you’re worried that the Woman in White might need convincing…”

           Dean smirked. He was out of his shirt in a minute, which conveniently was right when Sam came out of the bathroom.

           “FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!”

           “THIS IS OUR ROOM, ASSHAT.”

           Sam just slammed the bathroom door shut.

           Dean laughed, and the pressure in Cas’ chest loosened. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

           “Are we there yet?”

           “Sammy, I swear to Chuck—”

           “Shouldn’t you be swearing to Amara?”

           Dean glared at his little brother. “I can swear to whatever cosmic sibling I want, bitch.”

           “Jerk. Are we there yet?”

           “No. This is what happens when you only take backroads.”

           They hit another bump and Dean swore, apologizing to Mr. Grant’s car quietly. Women in White liked highways, so the only way they could drive to the Johnson house was along old backroads and used-to-be-backroads.

           “Are we—”

           “Sam. I will eat you.”

           “Not that. Are we moving too quickly?”

           Dean glanced at Sam. “You were the one who said go.”

           “I was. But…but now I’m not so sure.”

           Dean drove around a pot-ditch. “I know.” There was something off about this entire case, more so than the orientations of the victims. “But it’s supernatural, so it’s our gig. And if it isn’t a Woman in White, at least we’ve got it narrowed down. And if something goes wrong, we have my Cas.”

           “Oh my Amara. My Cas, eh?”

           The old Dean would have told Sam to shut up. The new Dean just blushed.

           “I’m happy for you,” Sam said. “Just so you know.”

           “Thanks.” Dean remembered just before they left, that look in Sam’s eyes when they talked about the trip. “You realize that Cas loves you too, right? Not the same way that he loves me, but he cares about you a lot.”

           Sam was quiet for a second. “Thanks.”

           “You know you’re still important to both of us. That hasn’t changed.”

           “You sound like divorced parents.” Sam still wasn’t quite smiling. “I know, but it felt like…I don’t know. As much as I wanted you two to be together, before we were both his friend. And now I…I don’t want to be in the way.”

           “The only time you’re in the way is when we’re having sex,” Dean said bluntly. “And we’ve got to be more careful about where we bang, but Sam, you’re family. To both of us. We don’t want you gone. We kinda just want you to start respecting socks on the door.”

           “Gross.” But Sam was smiling now. “I can do that.”

           “Good. End of conversation.” Dean rolled his eyes. “We don’t want you around, the idea.”

           A few minutes later, Dean spotted the house. He stopped the car and got out. Sam followed him.

           “We’re here, Sammy.”

           “Yeah, I know.”

           “You’re such a—”

           Sam grabbed his arm. “Quiet. Just in case.”

           Dean nodded, forgetting Sam couldn’t see him. Then he tapped Sam’s arm in affirmative. There was a theory in the hunting community—when dealing with a Woman in White, don’t make too much noise at her house. It could lure her back, which kind of went against their plans with Cas.

           Instead, Dean took out his phone and texted Cas.

           We’re here, babe.

           The response came a moment later.

           I love you.

           Dean froze. “She’s with him, Sam.”

           Sam immediately quickened his pace. Dean followed, the shotgun bouncing against his back. It’s just a Woman in White. Cas will be fine.

           The house was in much worse shape than Constance’s—it was barely held together. The only part that actually looked like a house was just off the sagging porch. The moon was coming out now, and Dean saw Sam motion towards it.

           Carefully, the two of them eased their way onto the porch and through the gaping hole where a door must have been. The room was covered in dust, and there were sticks of old furniture, but other than that it was empty.

           “I wonder why this place hasn’t been torn down yet,” Dean muttered.

           “It was lived in until about fifty years ago,” Sam whispered.

           In the distance, Dean heard a familiar rumble.

           “There’s Cas.”

                                                 **********

           Cas had thought it might be harder to find the Woman in White.

           Sam and Dean had left a few hours before, and he’d spent those hours alone in the hotel room, waiting for darkness to fall. Finally, just after sunset, Cas got into the Impala and drove back to Joshua.

           He could feel the grief of the little town as he approached, and he grimaced. That was one of the unpleasant parts of his powers—before he’d met Dean, the emotions of humans had moved him to pity, but had never assaulted him in this way. His time spent human had given him a chance to feel how horrible grief could be, and now it was compassion, not pity, that moved his prayer.

           “Father, help these people find hope again. And let us give them justice tonight.”

           He continued driving out to the highway, slow enough that he could see the empty fields passing by. His phone pinged twice, and he answered the texts quickly—‘see you later’. That would tell Dean that he hadn’t encountered the ghost yet.

           And then, ten minutes after his last text, he spotted her. A woman wearing a thin white dress and an even thinner shawl stood by the side of the road.

           Castiel pulled over. “May I help you?” he asked.

           “Can you take me home?” the woman asked. Her form flickered, just a bit. Definitely a ghost.

           “Of course. Can you give me directions?”

           The woman approached the car slowly. As she got settled, Cas’ phone went off.

           He texted I love you, and put the car in drive.

           “Who were you talking to?”

           “My boyfriend,” Cas replied. “Where am I taking you?”

           The woman was quiet, only speaking to give directions. But as they drove her shawl came off and her skirt hitched up higher and higher. Cas shot her a couple of what he hoped were meaningful looks.

           “Why were you alone?” he asked her.

           The ghost looked at him. “Does it matter? I’m with you now.”

           The words could have been seductive, a temptation to forget the past and concentrate on the present. Instead, the words were dull, dropping into the silence of the car.

           Cas smiled encouragingly. “Are we nearly there?”

           “Just the next bend.”

           Something was wrong. This woman wasn’t trying to be seductive at all. Even the baring of her skin had been done with great reluctance. But she was a ghost; Cas could tell. Everything here pointed to a Woman in White, so what was the missing piece?

                                             ****************

           “Sam, get down,” Dean hissed. The Impala wasn’t that close, but Baby’s headlights were powerful, and the last thing he wanted was for the Woman to jump them early.

           “How much further down do you want me, Dean?” Sam hissed back. He was crouching, his back to the window, frowning at the EMF reader. There was only faint beeping coming from it.

           “Where are the children?” Dean asked.

           “I don’t know. There’s no second floor here. And I’m not sensing anything…”

           “Did they…maybe they only appear when their mother comes home?”

           “No idea.”

           Dean ground his teeth in frustration. The entire house felt strange, and it was starting to get to him. He wanted to call out for Cas, to warn him, but what was there to warn him about? ‘Oh, we’re ghost-hunting, and I have a bad feeling?’

           Through the window, Dean saw the Impala in the moonlight, driving up the long path to the house. Dean let out a deep breath. Cas was here now, and he had the ghost lady with him. Now they just needed to waste her…

                                                            *********

           Cas could see the house up ahead, and he knew Sam and Dean were there.

           “This is your home, yes?” he asked the woman.

           He turned to her, half-expecting her to try and kiss him, or something. Anything to assuage the worry in his mind. To his shock, he saw that the woman was crying.

           “I’m sorry,” she gasped. And her face was changing, her form shifting into a different woman, with black curly hair and a million freckles. Cas shrank away from her, suddenly afraid for the first time.

           “I didn’t want to,” the woman sobbed. “He made me. I’m sorry!”

           And she shoved at Cas.

           The car went flying into the air. Cas struggled to hold on to the steering wheel as the Impala rolled three times. It landed right side up, but the doors were badly mangled. Cas could tell he was bleeding from several places, but nothing too serious.

           The ghost was gone from the car. When Cas managed to look outside, he realized that he was in a wide field. Even with his keen eyesight, he could hardly see the house.

           Sam. Dean.

           And with that thought, the house burst into flames.

                                            ********

           The crash sent them both to their feet. Dean cried out in horror as he saw the Impala flip in the air, soaring over to the next field.

           “What the hell?”

           “I’m sorry!”

           Dean whipped around and saw a ghostly woman standing there. But she wasn’t wearing white; instead, she wore modern clothes and her hair hung past her elbows.

           “You’re not Prudence,” Dean said stupidly.

           “I’m sorry!” the ghost gasped again. “I’m sorry. You need to run! He’ll get you!”

           “Who?”            The woman started to wail. Dean watched in horror as the ghostly figure was dragged across the room, shrinking as she did. The last light of her went into a jar.

           Someone picked up the jar.

           Dean raised his gun; Sam was beside him.

           The figure snapped their fingers, and a strange glow came into the room.

           Dean nearly dropped his gun.

           John Winchester stood in the room with them.

          “Dad?”

           Sam was still trying to catch his breath. Their father was standing there, not quite solid, still dead for sure. Sam had enough experiences with people coming back from the dead to tell by now; there was something about their shadows.

           “How?” Dean asked.

           John shrugged. “Well, you boys set me free, after all. Good job, opening a Gate to Hell.”

           Sam almost wanted to say, wow, are you behind a few years, but John beat him to it.

           “But that was you getting started, wasn’t it?” John’s eyes were cold, and when he stepped closer Sam couldn’t help but flinch.

           “Dad, what’s going on?”

           “I thought I’d bring you boys on a little trip down memory lane.” John held up the jar. “Woman in White, that was the first case I sent you on together, remember? Right before your pretty girlfriend burned, Sammy?”

           Sam felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. “You killed—you killed those boys?” Don’t think about Jess, don’t think about Jess.

           “Two brothers in a little town, both abominations of love.” John advanced on Dean. “Seemed about right.”

           Dean shot, but John dodged the rock salt. “Dad, just fight it. Hell fucked you up, this isn’t you talking.”

           John laughed. “You really believe that, Dean? I’m touched.”

           Sam fired two shots into John’s head. The ghost dissipated with a snarl, and Sam ran to Dean’s side.

           John reappeared a second later on the other side of the room. “Hell just removed my filter, sons, and now I’ve got a chance to do what I should’ve done myself.” The hate in his eyes when he looked at Sam pierced him like a knife. “You abomination, you killed your mother. Good thing your girlfriend died before she found out what you were.”

           “Don’t you fucking dare say that to him!” Dean fired off a shot, but John reappeared by the windows. “He didn’t have a choice, and he’s a better man than anyone gave him credit to be.”

           “You’re a great judge of character, aren’t you Dean?” John’s eyes glittered. “I gave you one job, one job. And you turned out to be just as much a monster-lover as your brother. Fucking an angel, really? Bad enough you’re a faggot.” He raised his hands. “You two disappoint me. Your mother would be ashamed of you both.”

           “Really?”

           “Yes. Shame you’ll never find out.”

           John snapped his fingers, and the room burst into flames. “Hellfire,” he said conversationally.  “Seems appropriate for you two.” He tossed the jar into the centre of the room, the trapped ghost glowing brightly. “Go on, try to get out.”

           Sam looked around desperately. The smoke was already thick, and Sam coughed. His lungs remembered this feeling, heavier and darker than breathing normal smoke. We’re going to suffocate before we burn.

           Dean was already on the ground, hacking. Sam raised his gun and shot at where John had been a moment before, but he heard the shell crack off the window.

           “Pathetic.” That was his father’s voice. “Pathetic little freaks.”

           Then the smoke and flames vanished, gone as if they were never there. The room was still bright, and it took Sam’s eyes a moment to adjust. It was the Impala’s headlights, the familiar beams lighting up the room.

           A figure stood where the windows had been a second before.

           “Ualolina Nolil.” Cas’ blade was out, his eyes glowing blue. “What do you think you’re doing?”

           Dean was bewildered, still coughing as Sam pulled him to his feet. Cas stood deadly still, eyes locked with John’s.

           “Get out of here, you—”

           Cas waved his hand and John went crashing into the wall, hitting it solidly.

           “I asked you a question,” Cas growled, and Dean shivered. Cas had never sounded quite so…vengeful. “How dare you harm them? You are not worthy to look upon them, let alone judge them!”

           John struggled to his feet. For a second his face softened, and he looked scared. “Dean? Sam? I’m sorry boys. This vengeful thing—it’s fucked me up. You were right.”

           “Oh, no.” Cas was across the room in one stride. He grabbed their father and slammed him against the wall again. “No, John. You don’t get to pretend with these men anymore.” He punched him across the face.

           Dean couldn’t do anything except stare.

           “Let me go you fucking freak!”

           Cas punched him again. “You used your sons. You abused them. You left them to die, and you betrayed their trust. Your wife’s death is no excuse for you to become the biggest monster in their life.”

           “I did my fucking best!” John swung at Cas, but he blocked it easily.

           “Your best would have been to understand the wrongness in your own brain, your broken spirit. You could have loved them. Instead you let your loyalty to a dead woman blind you to the children you had living, who needed you, who needed guidance and safety and love! List all the excuses you want, but the moment you decided to bait a shtriga with your children, you forfeited any forgiveness.”

           “What?” Dean croaked.

           John looked scared now, and he struggled violently against Cas’ hold. Cas held him impossibly still. The angel looked over at Dean, a deep sadness in his eyes tempering the fierceness in his face. “You didn’t know, dearest?”

           “Know what?”

           “Tell them, John.” Cas ordered. “Tell them what you did.”

           “Go to hell. I didn’t do anything wrong! If Dean had been where he should, it would have been—”

           “You left your sons alone, late into the night, when you were hunting a shtriga. And Sam was asleep. What would have happened, John, if Dean had stayed in the room and fallen asleep?”

           “He was on the job!”

           Dean felt cold all over. “I was ten,” he whispered.

           “You were old enough to do your job!”

           Sam leapt forward and landed a blow on John. “You motherfucking asshole! You—”

           But he got cut off when in a burst of strength John threw both Sam and Cas off. Sam fell hard, and even Cas was thrown back.

           He’s not going away, Dean realized. Cas could keep hitting him, but something was tethering John to Earth.

           I want him gone. We need him gone.

           Then Dean figured it out.      

           He sprinted outside. Baby was badly dented but the trunk looked okay. Dean yanked it open and dug around until he found what he needed. He spared one last glance at the object before running back inside.

           Sam was back on his feet, leaning against the wall as Cas grappled with John.

           “Hey, John!” Dean shouted. He held up his father’s journal.

           Everyone stopped moving. Dean clicked his lighter and held it up.

           “Dean!” John’s face softened again. “I’m sorry, son. I am. I fucked up. But you’re still my boy. I love you. Give me a chance!”

           “Sorry, Dad.” Dean lit the papers; they caught like kindling. “I couldn’t save you. It’s not my job.”

           John started screaming, his ghostly figure coming apart.

           Sam raised his gun, emptying it until John vanished. The journal’s cover was still smoldering.

           “Dean?” Cas was beside him now. “I can finish it.”

           “Do it,” Dean whispered.

           A burst of fire came from Cas’ hand, and the journal turned into ash in an instant.

           Dean took a deep breath. John was gone.

         Cas caught Dean before he collapsed. Sam was across the room, sinking to his knees.

           “I will take you both home,” Cas whispered. But he had one thing to do first. He summoned the jar, and examined the spirit inside.

           “That’s not Prudence, is it?” It was Sam’s voice, but…but not really Sam.

           “No.” Cas cursed himself for not realizing it sooner. “This is the spirit of a girl named Marie. She died a year ago in a car crash. I suppose he found her and forced her to work. He was a more experienced spirit.”  

           Cas unscrewed the cap. “Go to Heaven, Marie. You are free now, and forgiven for your crimes.” By him at least, but he had a feeling that his father would be understanding.

           “Come here, Sam.” Once Sam had gotten close enough for Cas to touch his arm, he flew back to the Bunker.

           “The Impala…” Dean mumbled. He was shaking against Cas now.

           Cas snapped his fingers. “She’s in the garage, Dean. I will fix her completely tomorrow. Right now you and your brother need my care.” He hesitated for a moment—it wasn’t really finished, it was messy—but he got Sam to his feet. “Follow me.”

           Cas led both brothers down the Bunker halls, past his and Dean’s room, past Sam’s room, past the library.

           “Where’re we going?” Sam mumbled. The younger Winchester was pale, and his eyes were just…empty.

           Cas opened the door at the end of the hall. “In here.”

           The room was just as he’d left it; stuffed with pillows, blankets, and soft chairs. It still needed a few touches, but it would do for now.

           Dean lifted his head from Cas’ shoulder. “This—this feels like you.”

           “It’s my nest,” Cas explained. “Well, a nest. I thought it would be nice to have a place to relax for our family. For all our family. Sam, lie down please. I’ll take a look at your head.”

           Sam obeyed silently, choosing the nearest pillow pile and sinking into it with a quiet sigh. Cas removed his trench coat and helped Dean lay down as well. He touched two fingers to Sam’s head, healing the brewing concussion and developing bruises.

           “Are you injured, Dean?”

           “Just bruises,” Dean mumbled. His skin was cool when Cas touched him, and he didn’t respond to Cas’ worried surge of Grace.

           Cas stepped away and grabbed the two biggest, warmest blankets he could see, and spread them out over the brothers. “You’re both in shock,” he whispered. “Can I get you anything?”

           “Come here?” Dean whispered.

           Cas laid down between the two. He was expecting Dean’s embrace, but Sam’s arms winding around him and Dean together was a bit more of a surprise. The big man was clinging to them both, and he was shaking now too. Cas pressed his lips together.

           “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I had no idea.”

           Sam had started to cry, tears pouring down his face without a sound. Dean wasn’t crying, not yet, but he was nearly there.

           “I promise, you are safe from him now.” Cas took Dean’s hand in his. “You’ll never have to see him again.”

           Dean’s whole body went rigid. “Wait—what about—Impala—”

           “In the garage, Dean,” Cas reminded him, rubbing his thumb over Dean’s knuckles. “She’s good as new.”

           “No, that’s not—” Sam’s eyes were wild with horror. “Is that—is that a tether too?”

           Then Cas understood, and his heart broke again. “No,” he said. “No, I promise it isn’t.”      

           “How d-do you know?”

           “I couldn’t feel your father in the journal because it wasn’t a very strong tether,” Cas explained. He rubbed Sam’s shoulder, trying to warm him up. “Usually when a ghost remains, it’s through a stronger pull. I am not sure why he was able to hold on for so long; it might have something to do with his sojourn in Hell. But there is nothing of him in the Impala, or even that leather jacket. You’ve made those objects a part of your lives, not his. The last traces of him are gone now.”

           Sam let out a huge, shuddering sigh, and Cas could hear the sobs building in Dean’s throat. He moved so he was laying on his back, the brothers on either side of him. “Let it go,” he said. “Let him go.”

           Dean had his face in Cas’ shoulder, and Sam was still reaching over to Dean, so he was pressed against Cas. Cas wondered if he should move, let the brothers grieve alone, but when Cas tried to get up Sam clung to him.

           “Stay?”

           “Of course.” And Cas did, through the long hour of tears, murmuring reassurance as best he could, his heart aching as Sam admitted how broken he felt, as Dean screamed silently with rage and pain. And when the brothers fell asleep at last, Cas stayed awake, protecting their dreams from the nightmares that tried to crawl in. Not his boys. Not this time.

When Sam woke up he felt lighter, better than he had in ages. He stretched, and saw Cas looking at him in amusement.

“What’s so funny?”

“You snore.”

“I do not!”

“Yes you do.” Dean was standing at the door to the…nest, it was the nest. He had a tray of breakfast. “Only once in a while, but when you do it sounds like a chainsaw in heat.”

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

Sam sat up and took his plate. As he dug in, he saw Cas glancing between him and Dean.

“What is it, babe?” Dean asked at last. “You’re freaking us out.”

“How do you feel?” Cas asked.

Sam looked at Dean. “We’re…I think it’s going to be okay. We’ll be okay. That wasn’t easy…” he could still feel his father’s hand slamming into his head, still hear the hurtful words…but there was distance now. “But it’s a bit easier to live with him hating us than trying to…”

“Than trying to figure out if he loved us,” Dean finished.

“You both deserved better.”

“We have plenty.” Sam said. “We have our home, and a family who loves us.” Then he sat bolt upright. “What about the families? We need to tell them why James and Tyler died.” He took out his phone. “I’ll call Rita.” He dialed the number, trying to figure out what to say. How could he explain that her husband had died because of Sam’s family?

“Hello?” It was a man’s voice. It should have been Isaac, but it didn’t sound quite right.

“Hi, this is Sam. We spoke yesterday.”

“We did? I was in a coma yesterday man, I don’t think it was me.”

Sam’s jaw dropped. “Tyler?”

“Hi. Oh, are you the blogger? Rita, baby, was the blogger dude’s name Sam?”

There was a quick shift. “Hi Sam.” That was Rita’s voice, breathless and happy. “Yes, he woke up, isn’t it wonderful?”

“Woke up?” Sam stared at Dean and Cas.

“Yeah. Looks like you and your partners weren’t necessary. The explosion was ruled to be accidental.”

“Rita...” Sam had no clue what to say. “I thought Tyler wasn’t…going to make it.”

“It sure looked like that. He and his brother were in bad shape; that old Jennings place was a death trap waiting to happen. They shouldn’t have been anywhere near there, right, honey?”

“Yes, honey.” Tyler’s voice had a laugh in it, and Sam blinked hard.

“Well that’s great to hear. I…well, you lose hope in this job sometimes. I’m glad to be proven wrong.”

“Me too.”

Sam heard a baby crying.

“Sorry, Sam, I’ve got to go. Baby’s demanding food. Mr. Grant will probably call your partner Dean later on.”

“He’ll be glad to talk to him,” Sam said. “Have a good day, okay? All of you.” He hung up and stared at Cas and Dean.

“They’re okay?” Dean asked.

“Rita said they’d recovered from being in an explosion at the Johnson place,” Sam replied. “Apparently they were both in comas yesterday, but they’ve woken up and they’re home.”

“But—” Cas stopped himself. “What a miracle.”

“You think?”

“Yes.” Cas looked overwhelmed. “I suppose my father answered my prayer.”

Sam remembered the grief-stricken house of the day before. “I’m glad.”

Dean nodded. “Hang on, what day is it again?”

“They’re coming tomorrow,” Cas replied.

Sam caught his breath. He’d almost forgotten. Tomorrow, their family was starting to come home tomorrow.

“Then we’ve got time for a drive.” Dean stood. “Sammy, want to go?”

“Sure.” Sam looked at Cas, but the angel shook his head.  

“I have some business in Heaven. I will return when you’re finished.”

A few minutes later, Sam was in the passenger seat of the Impala, and Dean was gunning the engine and roaring down the highway. Sam looked at his brother, and was struck by the way he was sitting. His shoulders were looser, his eyes were bright, and when he smiled at Sam, there was no guilt in them. There was no sense of failure.

Sam rolled the window down. “How fast do you think we can go?”

Dean laughed. “Sammy, let’s find out.” He hit play on the cassette, and AC/DC started blaring.

********

Cas landed in Heaven’s throne room, and the first thing he saw was that the name should really be ‘thrones room’. Both his Father and Amara were sitting on elegantly carved chairs; Father’s looked mahogany, while Amara’s looked like marble. They weren’t, of course, they were carved pieces of pure energy, but Cas supposed they had to look like something.

Both deities looked worried. “How are Dean and Sam?” Amara asked.

“Mending.” Cas considered the two. “Which one of you brought James and Tyler back?”

“I did,” Father said. “Amara dealt with the details.”

“I thought so.”

“What do you mean, nephew?”

“People with comas aren’t sent home the morning they wake up.”

“Even when they’re perfectly healthy?” Amara exclaimed.

“They’re not supposed to be perfectly healthy.”

Amara shrugged. “Oh well. Food for thought. That was easier, and their families missed them.”

Cas smiled, but it faded quickly. “Where is John Winchester?”

A wave of anger poured from the thrones, and Cas shuddered.

“He is in Hell,” Father said. “Crowley has promised to continue what you started, Castiel.”

Cas thought of the demon—infuriating, treacherous, but fiercely loyal to Sam and Dean Winchester in his own way—and smiled. “Good enough.”

“Amara, would you give us a moment?” Father asked.

“No, Father. I am not angry with you.”

Father blinked. “Oh. I was sure you would be.”

“Did you kill James Grant and Tyler Thompson?”

“No. But I knew who did it, and I knew your path would lead you there. I warned you as best I could.”

“You were right to let it happen. I would not wish the pain of that encounter on Sam and Dean…but they needed to see for themselves. They needed to lay him to rest seeing what he truly was. They got their answers, and I hope that will help them move forward.”

“I suppose you’ve gotten your own answers, Castiel.”

Cas thought of that long year of desperate searching, all the painful years of seeing everything he trusted and believed in questioned, missing, broken…but in the end, someone who found their courage and came back.

“Not yet, Father. There’s still some time.”

Father looked hopeful.

“I know that you care,” Cas said, and there was an all-too-human lump in his throat. “That’s all I need for now. I’m lucky, I suppose—Sam and Dean know their father didn’t.”

Father nodded. “Thank you, Castiel.” He cleared his throat. “On that subject, I think two people can come back today. Amara figured out a way to balance the souls more efficiently.”

“Crowley was a good teacher,” Amara said with a grin.

Cas beamed. “And it will be the two we discussed? Are they…aware of what’s happened?”

Father nodded. “They both know. They’re ready.”

“Of course they are. I can escort them back, if you like?”

Father nodded. “Go ahead, Cas. And know that I…I will work to be worthy of your faith.”

“I’ll try as well, nephew. Your faith is inspiring.”

Cas bowed to them both, and left the room.

*********

Dean parked Baby and leaned back in the seat with a sigh. Sam was half-asleep in the passenger seat—kid looked more relaxed than Dean had seen him in years, and a relaxed Sam was a sleepy Sam. Not Dean, though—he was wide awake, and every breath felt easy. He shook his brother’s shoulder. “C’mon, Sammy. We’re home.”

Sam blinked. “I wasn’t asleep.”

“Need a nap?”

“Dude, you nap too!”

“No, Sammy, I power sleep in short bursts. There’s a difference.”

“Sure there is.” Sam got out of the car. “That’s why you need nap music.”

Dean was about to retort when he heard wings flapping. Smiling, he got out and came face to face with his Cas. “Hey babe, great timing.” He kissed Cas, delighted by how easy it was to kiss him at last. “How was Heaven?”

“It was nice.” Cas had the glow he always got when he walked on holy ground, and his eyes were soft and fond. It had been ages since Dean had seen him like that. “I brought back gifts.”

Dean didn’t understand, but Sam sucked in his breath. “Do you mean—”

“My father and aunt were able to begin this process early,” Cas confirmed. “Your parents are back.”

For one stuttering heartbeat Dean was afraid again. Had Chuck not understood? Didn’t he know?

Then he heard a fondly muttered “hello, idjits,” and Dean spun around.

“Dad!”  

Bobby stood in the garage’s door. He came towards them with his arms open, and Sam got to him first, Dean only a step behind.

“Alright, sons. Alright.” Bobby patted Dean’s head. “I’m here.”

Dean hugged Bobby as tight as he could. For a minute, he forgot everything else. Their dad was here, and he was the first to come, and they could have the rest of their lives together in a world where there wasn’t an annual apocalypse.

But then Bobby let go, and Dean saw behind him a blonde woman with a plaid shirt and a silver charm bracelet, with a smile that Dean had almost forgotten.

“Mom?”

[jarpadandjensenaremyheroes]

The Little Princess: Chapter 8

A/n- I didn’t really mean for this to happen…it just kinda…..came out this way. My bad. Enjoy? Pretty please?

Word count: 2,224

Warnings: ANGST, missing person, but I put tons of fluff in the beginning!

Chapter summary: Dean and reader reconcile

Characters: Dean Winchester, OFC Mary Winchester (baby), Sam Winchester, Castiel, OFC Tori Newman

Need to catch up? HERE is the masterlist!

Chapter 8

You finally got Mary to sleep somewhere around 1 AM. She was so excited with Dean and Sam there that she refused to sleep. Dean followed you around wherever you went with her. It was sweet, but you weren’t sure what you were supposed to do. It had been just the two of you for so long now, you didn’t know how to act with Dean there. Once you had her asleep in her crib though, you and Dean went on the back porch to talk for a few minutes.

“Dean, I need you to understand why I did what I did. I loved you, still love you. I always will. But when those little pink lines showed up, I was terrified. A hunting life is no place to raise a child, all three of us know that from first-hand experience. And as many times as we talked about the apple pie life, you always made it a point to tell me that you could never truly leave that life behind. You wanted kids, but couldn’t afford to have them because they would inevitably get hurt, or worse. I left without telling you because I didn’t want to see your heart break when you eventually had to leave us. I didn’t want to see her little heart break when you left us. I didn’t want to put any of us through that. And I couldn’t stay because if I had, I would have continued hunting. And the last thing I want is for us to leave her an orphan. So I broke your heart and my own in the process, and went to Ellen and Ash for help. They got me set up here and swore they wouldn’t tell a soul. I figured eventually you would wear her down though. I knew this day was inevitable. And I’ve been terrified but excited for it. I hated myself every day for what I did to you, for keeping you from your daughter. I thought for sure you would hate me, and never want to see either of us again. Cas has been keeping watch over us, but please don’t be upset with him, I made him swear not to tell you. It killed him too, keeping things from you. I’m so sorry. If you don’t want us, I understand, I won’t be upset. I have no right really at this point. I’ve been showing her pictures of you and Sam so she would know who you are. And legally, she has your last name as well. Mary Grace Winchester. Just know that I love you so much, and Mary does too, and I don’t want to lose you again. I just-”

He finally stopped your rambling with a soft and tender kiss and a hand on your cheek. “Princess, I could never hate you. And I could never reject you or our little girl. I want nothing more than to be with you both all the time. But I can’t stop hunting. And I don’t want you to either. We make an amazing team.  It’s up to you, but we all want you to come home. You and Mary belong with us. I’m not gonna force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, but you have to know that you would be safe with me. Mary would be safe with me. I would never let anything happen to either of you. Neither would Cas or Sam. We love you both so much. So please, come home princess…”

You had begun to cry again. But this time, they were tears of joy. “What did I do to deserve you, Dean Winchester? I love you. I love you and I would love to come home. Can we bring Mary’s stuff though? I don’t want to have to go out and buy everything again.”

“Of course. I had already made tentative plans to rent a trailer so we can haul it all back to the bunker. We will have to use your car though; Baby can’t handle towing something like that.”

“That’s perfectly fine, I was going to suggest that anyways. We would have to stop a little more often than usual too. Well, Mary and I would at least. She would need food and new diapers every few hours.”

“How ‘bout we talk to Sam and see if he will drive your car back to the bunker, and you, me and Mary can go in the Impala. We can stop as often as we need to, and even stay the night if you wanted. And Sam could get a room set up for Mary, and you if you wanted, that way once we got there everything would be ready. How’s that sound?”

You felt the grin spread across your face. “That sounds perfect. I would love nothing more.” You took his hand in yours; finally feeling the happiness that you so desperately wanted these last two years. “Oh, and Dean?”

“Yes princess?”

“If it’s okay with you…I-I don’t think I want my own room…we’ve spent long enough apart, and if this night has proven anything, it’s that we are better together. That we belong together. So if you don’t mind, I-”

He surprised you by picking you up and swinging you around in his arms. As he set you down, he kissed you. It was a long, passionate kiss that said everything the two of you needed to know. You kissed him back with as much fervor as you could possibly put into one kiss. When you both needed air, you broke apart and it caused you to let out a little moan at the loss of contact.

“Y/N, I don’t mind at all. I want you with me, as much as possible. I don’t ever want you away from my side.”

You stretched up on your toes to press another kiss to Dean’s lips just as Mary let out an ear piercing scream. Even if you didn’t have the baby monitor, you would have heard it echo through the house. You both took off running back into the house. You got to the staircase and saw Sam lying on the floor. The sight made your blood run cold.

“I got Sammy. Go get her!” Dean yelled. But you were already halfway up the stairs, taking them two at a time. You skidded around the corner of the nursery and were horrified at the scene in front of you. The floor that held the demon trap in front of the door had been cracked clean through, and the crib was empty.

You didn’t even recognize the scream that left your mouth. Dean came barreling in behind you and caught you in his arms just as you fell to the floor. You were immediately screaming and sobbing simultaneously, the emotions coursing through you uncontrollable. You barely registered Dean sobbing into your hair as he held you tight. Your scream must have woken Sam, because he came running into the room not long after.

“No no no no no!” He rifled through the blankets and stuffed animals in the crib, as if Mary was just hiding.

Sam yelling snapped you out of it, and you were instantly angry. “THIS IS WHY I LEFT, DEAN! THIS is why Mary would NEVER be safe in this life!” You were yelling at the top of your lungs. For the second time tonight, you were beating on his chest like your life depended on it. Only this time, Dean just sat there and took it. Sam was the one to pull you off his brother and wrap his arms around your chest from behind. You finally stopped thrashing around, and Sam set you back on your feet. You sank to your knees in front of Dean. In between sobs, you softly whispered over and over again, “I’ll never forgive myself. I’ll never forgive myself if anything happens to her.”

Dean reached out to grab you and you just fell into his lap, still a sobbing mess. “I will find her, Y/N. And she will be just fine. Nothing is going to happen to her. We’ll get her back.”

“I hope you’re right, Dean. If they do anything to her, if we don’t get her back, I won’t survive that…I won’t be able to live with myself Dean…”

He pulled you back into his chest. “Shhh. You won’t have to deal with that. She’s gonna be fine. We’re gonna get her back, and she’ll be just fine.”

You got up, suddenly remembering Cas. You raced downstairs and pulled a knife from one of the kitchen drawers. You went to the wall in the dining room where all the enochian warding was, and started slashing this way and that way. As soon as you severed the last one, Cas appeared behind you. He grabbed you roughly and sobbed into your shoulder as you clutched to the front of his ever present trench coat in an attempt to hold yourself up. You were so weak from all the emotional distress of the night.

“Y/N I have failed you! I am so truly sorry, and you will never know the pain this has caused me. I have failed the one task you have ever asked of me…”

“No Cas, no. It’s not your fault. I should have taken the warding down after you approached me near the park all those months ago. You couldn’t have gotten in. You couldn’t have known.”

“Y/N…it was James. He’s been possessed. I did not see it at first. He used some kind of enchantment to hide his true face from me. I did not know until I saw him scratch away part of the trap on the porch. I don’t know how he even knew it was there…”

“Wait, if it was James…then Tori is in trouble too! Cas we have to go check on her! We have t-”

“I already did. She sustained severe injuries, but I got there in time. I healed her, and she is peacefully sleeping at the moment.”

“We still have to go to her! We have to keep her safe! Her husband is a friggin demon Cas!”

He disappeared with the flutter of wings, and returned just moments later holding a sleeping Tori in his arms. Sam and Dean had come downstairs by now, and had heard enough to know what was going on.

Cas had a look of confusion on his face. “Y/N, are you aware of the fact that your friend has an anti-possession tattoo? Here, on her hip.” He lifted your friend’s shirt slightly to show a partially covered tattoo. Tori started to stir in his arms.

“Wha-what’s going on?” She was still hazy it seemed.

“Tori…why do you have that symbol on your hip and how long have you had it?” You were done messing around. You wanted answers and you wanted them now.

Cas put your friend down. “Y/N, I know what this looks like, but you need to hear me out. Okay?”

You gave her a curt nod.

“I used to be a hunter. Years ago. But then I met James, and I wanted to get out. I had no family left, and hunted alone more often than not, so I just left. James and I moved here and settled down. He didn’t and still doesn’t know anything about the life I used to lead. Ellen gave me a call when you came to her, asked me if I could keep an eye on you and the baby. Make sure no harm came to either of you. I promised her I would...” she trailed off for a moment, her eyes glazing over with tears. “But I failed you and her… I knew you were a hunter, but I didn’t know anything else about you. Who your family was, or who you hunted with. So when Dean fucking Winchester showed up tonight, it all clicked into place. Why you ran, why you didn’t want him to know, everything. It all made sense. And then you came home, and there was a demon waiting. I have my tattoo, but James doesn’t, and it picked him to use as a meatsuit. I know where they took Mary though. The thing was stupid enough to tell me his plan while he was beating me. He didn’t count on you having an angel in your pocket anymore…”

“Tell me where they took my daughter!” Dean’s voice was a booming growl as it echoed through the room. Tori actually jumped, and you felt your eyes go wide.

“There’s an abandoned warehouse on the other side of Orlando. That’s where they’ve been working from. They’ll expect you three, but they won’t suspect me or the angel. I’m supposed to be dead, and they don’t know about him I don’t think.

“Let’s go,” you said. Your voice was flat and emotionless. You grabbed Dean’s hand, mostly for strength, and headed towards baby. You climbed in the front seat, once again sandwiched between the brothers, and Cas and Tori sat in the back. Before the last door had even shut, Dean was pealing out down the street.

“These bastards are going to wish they had never left hell,” his voice a low roar. And with that, the car went silent. No planning or plotting, just intense brooding from all of you.

These demons picked the wrong family to fuck with.

@petrovadixon

@quackerstheduck663057

[awed-frog]

hey! i wanted to let you know that i think your cas/stages of grief meta was absolutely amazing. cas's story never really made sense to me, it always seemed so inconsistent, like they had no idea where they were going with it, and your meta is the first i've read that made me see some central theme in it after all. so kudos for that :) just out of curiosity, you have any idea where they're going with crowley? bc his story is another one that always felt the opposite of straightforward to me.

Whats your hope for Crowleys arc on this season?

Hi! Thank you so much for all that! I am the most awful person, because not only I’m like, two months late in answering this but I’m also going to bundle it up with an anon ask. Sorry, @andallthewildthingsroared!

(I did write the overly long thing I promised you, though, so there’s that.)

I understand where you’re coming from - Crowley’s arc is sort of zigzaggy, but if you take away what was clearly bad characterization (such as that one-off threat to Sam complete with red eyes which never went anywhere), I sort of feel like we can know who Crowley is, and what he wants.

Background

So, just as a summary - we know he was a bastard, and that he had a stable enough relationship with his mother that he remembers her (not fondly), and that she up and left soon enough that it felt like she was abandoning him (eight is a bit soon to fend for yourself, even in the seventeenth century). We know he had a son, and since Gavin’s mother is never mentioned, I want to say unremarkable entity who died in childbirth? Because if this had been his great love, and if she’d survived long enough to be remembered by Gavin, I hope to God that would have been brought up in the narrative (come on). So, either Crowley didn’t give a damn about her, and got saddled with the kid for some reason, or he cared a lot and she died pretty early on and that’s possibly the reason he started being so awful to everybody (hello, John Winchester’s parallels). We also know he was a tailor, which, in those times, and for an orphan, implies either that Rowena used magic to help him out (unlikely for a number of reasons) or that he was actually a very smart, very talented kid who had to work his ass off during his apprenticeship, as was usual for the times. In this case, we’ve got someone whose life was out of his control from a very young age, and who knows what it’s like to be at a master’s whim. 

Demon deal

Now, what doesn’t fit with this picture is the idea a kid like that would sell his soul for a longer dick, as Crowley boasted to have done (also, as amusing as it is, this would be a moot point by now, since Crowley’s in a different body). What I consider more likely is that Crowley’s current vessel - the literary agent in his late forties possibly all work and all play as that job often entails - tried to make a similar deal (and that would be a reason for Crowley to stick with the body afterwards; after all, we know he’s vain and likes to sleep around, so, vessel for vessel, why not go for a bigger dong?); as for Crowley himself, I really can’t guess what happened. Gavin remembers him as a useless drunkard, and he certainly had no riches to pass on - so much so, Gavin was forced to emigrate to the Colonies. What did Crowley gain, exactly, in exchange for his soul? An intriguing possibility is that, like Dean, he took the deal to save someone else - perhaps Gavin himself from some childhood fever - and became a drunk asshole out of blind panic the closer he got to the deadline. I like this explanation, because there was always this weird pull between Crowley and Dean, and this would go a long way towards explaining it; but, really, this is one of those things it’s useless to speculate about - either the show will tell us, or it won’t.

(Another possibility I like, but which would have come up by now, is that Rowena sold her kid’s soul to pay for her own magic - a plot bunny I explored here.)

Whatever his reasons, Crowley’s time in hell took this primal lack of control over his own life and made it a thousand times worse. We still don’t know, exactly, how demons are created, how long it takes, and who decides which eyes you’ll get, and which job you’ll do. This is, like, one of the 2000 things the show could get into instead of inventing new lore (I’m not complaining, though - S11 was magnificent, and S12 has been very good so far). What we do know is that the entire process is excruciatingly painful; that it distorts, or takes away, your human soul. If we think about other soulless creatures we’ve encountered, what Crowley is makes a lot of sense. It’s not about being evil, exactly; it’s more about a lack of caring and empathy. There are moments where Crowley actually reminds me of soulless!Sam - like when he pushed Dean into Cain’s arms just because it was convenient on the short term. 

Crowley the crossroads demon

Becoming a demon is also the worst kind of punishment, we should assume, because it completely takes away your free will.

(This is not exactly true, since we’ve seen a lot of demons doing stuff on the side and betraying their masters left, right and centre - but I want to think those demons breaking ranks parallel the mess that’s going on in Heaven - that these are creatures that, under normal circumstances, ie, pre-Winchesters and pre-Apocalypse, functioned as mindless servants under a king. Like angels, demons can, theoretically, think for themselves, but I feel like they’re not designed to? Although, where the angels craved order - and orders - Crowley was hoping to get support by promising other demons ‘a say, a virgin and all the entrails they can eat’ - which means demons are perhaps not as happy as angels to give up their agency. And, well, it would make sense: they do not belong to a different species, after all. They used to be human.)

And so we’ve got the transformation from human!Crowley, indentured to some abusive master as a boy, to demon!Crowley, who’s got no choice but to follow his torturers around. Except, well, Crowley’s smart (too smart for his own good, probably) and ballsy and free will is something he cares about, very fucking much (and this is another tie to Dean). From what we know, it looks like Crowley schemed and schmoozed his way into acquiring enough weapons, knowledge, powers and secrets that he was almost part of the inner circle which was preparing for Lucifer’s return. And here is where his story gets interesting, because, to get Roman about it, “We rob the world, but he will rifle the deep. If the enemy be rich, Lucifer will be rapacious; if he be poor, Lucifer will lust for dominion; he will make a desert and call it peace.”

Crowley and the Winchesters

I don’t remember if it’s ever explained why Crowley chose to bet on the Winchesters, of all people, to go against Lucifer. I think we’re meant to not question this - to assume that they’re our main characters and fierce hunters and yadda yadda, but it’s still interesting that Crowley would know them - and well, at that. I like to think they’d been on his radar from the very beginning (or, at least, that Sam was) because of Azazel’s demented scheme, and it’s certainly possible Crowley knew everything about their dealings with Hell, including Sam’s death, Dean’s self-sacrifice, and how and why he was saved. He’s been shown, after all, to be one of the most knowledgeable characters on the board, and if he’s been keeping track of the Winchesters for years and years, that would go a long way in explaining his fond exasperation for their antics. 

Now, Crowley is, of course, fascinating and interesting in himself, but what is also worth noting is that his character, like Cas’ (and perhaps even more than Cas’), is relevant in light of his relation to Dean - and Dean’s sexuality.

The first thing here is - unlike Cas, who, inevitably, had a very strong relationship with Dean from the start which made perfect narrative sense, Crowley could always go either way. It can even be argued that logically, it would have made more sense to pair him off with Sam. First of all, there’s the symmetry (Dean and his angel, Sam and his demon); then there’s the fact Crowley’s got more in common with Sam than he does with Dean - the books, the art, the interest in weird languages and weirder mythology, a general ‘the end justifies the means’ attitude - I know we now have years of backstory to influence how we view those characters, but if we take them in isolation - sure, Dean and Crowley would have fun on a night out (and we’ve seen what they do together: play pool, get drunk, sleep it off with a various number of partners of unspecified gender), but Sam and Crowley - now, that had the potential of a real friendship of the minds (as I said, forget about their history and put aside Crowley’s shady morals for a second - can’t you see how much fun they would have had to explore the Bunker’s library together? how they could have planned thefts, Leverage-style, to recover some painting stolen by an oil magnate - how they would have fought at the end, because, of course, Sam wanted to donate it to a museum and Crowley, well, was planning on keeping it, because he0d bloody well earned it?). Sam becoming friends with a demon after the whole Ruby ordeal would have been a huge bout of character growth, in line with his ‘forgive and don’t judge people by their birth’ personality. And as for Crowley, it would have made sense for him to bond with Sam rather than Dean - if only for the obvious reason: Sam could still be (potentially) his future boss. The boy with the demon blood; the only vessel that can hold Lucifer. Honestly, since Crowley never wanted to be king in the first place, it would have made perfect sense for him to seduce Sam (platonically) and then guide him to the throne - there, problem solved. He would have been chief advisor of The One Who Was Foretold, right there at Sam’s right hand to keep an eye on his every decision, and he would have known, because he would have taken the time to get to know Sam, that Sam (even as a demon king) would be a fair ruler - and, more importantly, a ruler loyal to his old friends.

It was, really, the perfect scheme - and yet the idea never came up at all. In fact, Sam and Crowley lost another momentous occasion to get closer to each other - even after Sam fed Crowley his own blood, the relationship between them remained distant at best, and hostile at worst. That always struck me as really, really weird. Sam saw Crowley at his most vulnerable, and despite being Mr Forgiveness, he continues to hate Crowley with a vengeance and the whole thing never comes up at all. Uh.

I mostly think the main reason for this is very simple: Sam ‘I desperately need my own plotline’ Winchester is straight. Very straight. Pairing him with a man would have been weird. Mirroring the relationship Dean has with Cas - weirder. The thing worked until Ruby was around, but with Crowley they would have missed a lot of juicy subtext. And so, once again and despite all odds, Dean got yet another character to add to his court, and Sam was left with nothing more than Lucifer’s mild interest in him (or, as Sam himself put it in entaglednow’s side-splitting series, “Great, you get the epic love story and I get the creepy sadomasochistic non-con.”).

(This is another reason, by the way, why their refusal to be clearer on the whole ‘Dean is bi’ issue is hurting the show: it is partly, or mostly, because they’re desperate to keep that subtext going that Dean gets all the characters - people like Charlie, or Benny, or even Jody offering him to talk in her most suave mom voice - all of these things make sense in the narrative because they’re feeding the underlying subtext. And since this is, objectively, a Big Story and the core of who Dean is, and Sam’s only stake in it would be a tragic ‘I know I said I’d die for him, but I’ll now reject my gay brother out of moral virtue’ nonsense which clearly doesn’t apply to the character, he’s left with literally nothing to do. Really - most of the story seems to gravitate around these two open secrets - Dean’s sexuality, and Dean’s love for Cas; and since, as I said, Sam’s got nothing to do with either, and no reason to be mad about either, he’s left with no narrative role. Only yesterday @tinkdw was saying how the entire myth arc of S11 doesn’t make any sense without Destiel, and she’s perfectly right; most things, for a lot of time, have been about Dean’s heart.

And I want to add that I’m not okay, or happy, with any of this. First, I think it’s dishonest to include so much subtext that it basically props up your whole narrative while denying anything’s going on; and second, Sam’s a fantastic character and there’s a lot he could do - it defies logic and reason that they’re not using him better. Like, I still can’t believe the entire God reveal was only about Dean, that we still haven’t heard how Sam feels about Lucifer being around, that he’s barely had one conversation with his mother, and that he basically has zero relationships with other characters. Come on - there’s so many awesome things you could do with someone like Sam, why aren’t they doing them? On a show that’s supposedly all about the two of them, and only the two of them?)

Crowley’s arc

By having Crowley’s represent Dean’s eros to Cas’ agape (and I want to say this is a learned reference, but I’m really just thinking about YOI right now), the main mirror for Crowley, and therefore his character arc, was firmly established. Crowley would parallel Cas - and viceversa. The journey, for both of them, is to get closer to humanity (and ‘humanity’), and what’s been fascinating is that, of course, they start off in two very different places.

As I said in the beginning, Crowley’s all about control. He’s very Scarlett O’Hara about things, and he’s got good reason to be. In this, he’s heavily paralleled with Cas, but where Cas focuses his newfound (?) free will on everything but himself - hence the Jesus-like characterization - Crowley’s most consistent character trait is his selfishness. All of his schemes, and most of his ambitions, are ultimately directed at saving himself and avoid pain and death, which, to be honest, would be sensible from anyone’s point of view but is particularly understandable if we consider we’re dealing with a soulless creature who’s got no capacity to love and has endured decades, if not centures, of torture. What is most significant about Crowley, therefore, is the same thing that makes Cas stands out: how Crowley is learning about himself, and how to become who he truly is, through his love for Dean. This is something that we discuss every other day, so I won’t get into it (see for instance the ‘drowley’ tag on my blog, or read here, here or here), but it’s clearly become a major part of his character arc. 

(His decision to sacrifice that spear to save Cas, for instance, was a huge step in this direction - selfishness to selflessness - so huge I still can’t believe I watched it with my own two eyes. It will probably be mirrored, quite soon, by Cas making a step of his own - in his case, towards selfishness, ie, the Winchesters’ happiness, and therefore his own, and away from yet another idiotic heavenly battle plan.) 

As for what will come of it - the problem with this kind of Are you truly my enemy? characters - or, well, the trouble with everything - is that there is a limited number pf ways their story can end. And, again, the problem with Crowley and where his story is going is the same problem we have with everything else - Dean, Sam, Destiel and so on: it all depends on which kind of story this is, and what they’re trying to say with it. So, let’s have a look at it.

A) Crowley could remain his slightly evil self and die because of it - this would place Supernatural in a kind of ‘moralistic’ narrative: the good guys triumph, and the bad guys pay the price.

B) Or, he could try to do the right thing and get killed in the process: that’s the definition of tragedy, which somehow works even better when a character was despicable to start with - think Last of the Mohicans, or Severus Snape. In this case, his death would likely be the first (or the last) of many other significant characters.

C) Another possibility is that Crowley could become human, and that would be both interesting and heartbreaking to watch, because we know Crowley is very ambitious, but, as I said, my headcanon is that he became wary and power-hungry because of what was done to him in Hell. After all, Dean did get a kind of special treatment, but what he went through was also the standard procedure to destroy someone’s soul - so drunken tailor Fergus was probably on the rack for decades, until the last shred of humanity left inside him burned and withered, and it’s likely that at some point he had his O'Hara moment and that’s why he always puts himself first: because he’s bloody scared shitless to be vulnerable again. In this sense, a human Crowley would be resentful and terrified - and therefore, a beautiful character to watch.

(Not that there would be anyone left to watch, since if they go there, I think they’ll do it at the last possible moment.)

D) Or, Crowley could remain a demon but shift his priorities so completely as to work with the Winchesters full-time, sort of like Cas did. Now, this would be quite something because Cas and Crowley are often paralleled, but at the same time it would put Crowley in a difficult position: I am sure Sam and Dean would fully accept him as a member of TFW only if Crowley repented and behaved like an unpstanding citizen from then on, and how is all that compatible with being the king of Hell? Plus, what would happen to the other demons? Was Crowley making more demons when he had complete control of Hell? We know he turned Hell more bureaucratic and 'punishment fits the crime’ and whatever, but his demons were still eating human flesh, and I’m not sure they can even survive without? So, well, however noble Crowley’s intentions, that would be an uneasy alliance. If Crowley remains his lovable and snarky demon self, I see more of an Eric Northman ending for him: sure, he gets his throne and all sort of pretty distractions, but he loses his Sookie forever.

E) And finally: Crowley could be killed in a freak ‘accident’, maybe by an ally of the Winchesters who didn’t know he was sort of a friend (Mary is a prime candidate), or by Cas or Sam because of the greater good, or maybe even by Dean himself - but not by choice - and that would be a sort of fridging because it would shift the meaning of his death to the damage it’d do to his killer.

Which hypothesis is more likely? 

Well: first of all, we need to bear in mind a few RL factors. They’ll probably want to keep Mark around because he’s awesome, the fans generally like him so that’s another plus, and I firmly believe they still don’t know how they want Supernatural to end (or even what the next season’s theme is going to be) so a character like Crowley is a godsend, because when weird shit needs to happen or you suddenly need drama or whatever, you can always count on someone like that to make it happen (and that’s another reason why I don’t think Crowley will become human any time soon: it would severely limit the weird shit they can pull off) - which means, it’s likely they’ll keep him around for a while. And also: his death would bring nothing, narratively, to the table. For instance, John’s death and Bobby’s death sort of made sense, because the boys had some growing up to do, and killing someone like Cain or defeating Lucifer was important because it told us our boys are on the Good side even when it’s difficult, but now we know all this. 

To me - if we’re looking at the very end, there are only two ways this makes sense: either Crowley is killed off, or sacrifices himself, in some heartwrenching scenario so that his death will mean Cas or Dean or even Sam lives, or he becomes human - my headcanon is that he’ll still know how to do magic, because I’m a sucker for magician!Crowley - and walks away from the boys entirely. If Supernatural ends in tragedy, then it’s the first option all the way; but if its end is more like, there are no more monsters and you’re now free to open a car repair shop, then it only makes sense that both Cas and Crowley become human. Cas will be the sort of human who still stares up at the sky from time to time and will lie to Dean when Dean asks and say it’s okay (hopefully, Dean won’t believe a word of it and kiss him extra hard that night), and Crowley - Crowley likes to be the centre of attention, so I’m thinking politics. Or maybe he’ll hoodwink his way to the very top of a renowned auction house and meet some wealthy widow at his local golf club, and that will be it - a sort of happy ending, and the occasional drunk call to Dean to reminisce about that happy, happy summer they once had.

[magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics]

Miss Everything - Request

Requested by @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester:  Dean x reader have been married for years, she gets pregnant but he doesn't want it. She leaves but never moves on. He ends up in another relationship and about to marry her. At the altar he decides he needs to be with reader and their child.

Summary: Basically, everything from above.

Pairing: Dean x Lisa/Dean x reader

Word count: 1,878

Warnings: Slightly angsty.

A/N: This was odd... I never imagined Dean doing such thing but requests are requests and I liked getting out of my comfort zone. I hope you like it.

Enjoy!

“We are here reunited to celebrate the union between Lisa Braeden and Dean Winchester in holy marriage…” The priest spoke. He wasn’t a regular priest but rather a priest that had turned into some kind of hunter after realizing demons walked among the rest of the creatures on Earth.

Dean’s hands were sweating. Him and Lisa had taken a while to take the choice of getting married, of starting “a new life together” as some would say. But there was something off about the whole thing.

Lisa was giving him a certain look, but Dean couldn’t identify which one. All he could see and hear inside his head were memories from another woman, a woman he had betrayed, a woman he had hurt. He hadn’t thought of her in a long time, but for some reason, he was remembering her then: at the altar.

“I do.” He heard her words softly, perfectly pronounced and so confident… She actually wanted to marry him.

“Then I pronounce you husband and wife.” The priest smiled warmly at them, who were shaking like teenagers, with sweaty hands and big grins. “You may kiss the bride.

And her kiss was lingering, excited and joyful. She was smiling from ear to ear as Sam took their first picture together. They were young, so young John didn’t fully approve of their relationship – less to say their marriage – but they were in love and so they took the first chance they got to travel to Las Vegas and get married in secret.

It was the first time Dean broke his father’s rules, and he wasn’t even sorry, he loved her too much.

Lisa squeezed his hands as a plead for him to pay attention. The seconds felt like year to him. He couldn’t help but to notice how different the aura was compared to his first wedding.

Sam wasn’t smiling. Dean knew he liked (Y/N) better, but he was still there supporting him through all the bullshit. Castiel was now there as well, and he had also a frown on his usually neutral face. None of them felt like Lisa was the one; especially not after Dean told them why he and (Y/N) split up.

“Dean, don’t dare to do that.” Sam had threatened.

“Bad news, Sammy. I already did.” Dean hissed. He was drunk, and he was bitter to the soul.

“You always promised to be a better father than dad… What changed?” Dean slammed the glass of whiskey at the table, smashing it into tiny pieces of crystal as the rest of the liquor dripped to the floor.

“Do you honestly think I can be better? In this life?” Sam didn’t say anything, “She had to leave.”

“You did this to her… You can’t just abandon her.” Sam begged, “Not now, Dean… It will be so hard for her to…”

“It will be better for her to stay away… For them to live out of this life and away from me.” Sam huffed.

“Is this the problem? Your self-loathing?” Dean shook his head, “That baby needs a father, Dean.”

“I’m sure (Y/N) will find someone better.” Dean whispered bitterly, “I can’t be a father, Sam. Not now, not ever.”

Lisa had maintained the look until Dean acknowledged it. He mouthed a “sorry” and so Lisa turned to see the priest once more. The ceremony felt slower than usual, and Dean was starting to get frustrated. He looked at Sam, who was patiently standing by his side like the best man always did. Dean knew exactly what his brother was feeling, but he also knew Sam wouldn’t say a word. He respected Dean’s decisions; or at least, he didn’t try to make him change his mind anymore because “It’s a waste of time.”

Dean tried to remember his past wedding. It had been secret, but even so there were a lot more attendants there. Bobby was there – he had called John to allow Sam and Dean to help him on a case in Nevada as an alibi for the wedding – and Rufus was there as well. (Y/N)’s best friend – a huntress – and Sam. They were all a bit tipsy, especially Dean because only alcohol would make him brave enough to defy his father’s rules.

(Y/N) had a rented white dress. It was simple, but beautiful. She barely had any make up on and her hair was messy because she and Dean had decided to take their heads out the window during their way to the chapel.  Lisa, on the other hand, had her mother’s dress which wasn’t precisely ugly but it was way too much. She had a natural eye makeup and lips gloss, nothing out of normal in her, and her hair was curled.

That wedding wasn’t secret, there was no one left to hide things from. Lisa’s parents were dead, as well as Dean’s and, for some reason, she had decided not to invite any of her friends. So there were only Sam and Castiel with their frowny faces and tense vibes.

She had expected him to react differently. Dean loved children; he truly did, so why did he say such things?

Maybe it was the fact that John traumatized his kids. Or maybe Dean felt like he would never be a good father. Maybe he wasn’t the man (Y/N) thought he was… Whatever reason, he had ripped her heart in pieces.

(Y/N) cried for hours as she packed her stuff and left to the closest motel. But Dean wouldn’t know that because he never talked to her again. Sam had tried to contact her, and he did for a few months until (Y/N) asked he to stop calling her – it was too painful to remember the life she had lost – and so every bit of information Dean could get about his child or (Y/N) got lost.

Sam had stopped talking to Dean. He pulled the ice law for over a month, only talking when it was truly needed but always keeping it short and simple, because he couldn’t stand to hold a conversation with his brother without getting the urge to stab him.

Sam nodded at his brother. He wasn’t happy, but if Dean loved Lisa as much as he claimed, he was willing to keep up with her and maybe one day he would grow fond of her as much as he did with (Y/N).

Dean then looked at Cas who was by Lisa’s side. The angel was utterly confused because God hadn’t told anyone that that was the only way to get married. On the contrary, God allowed couples to just be with the other without needing any snazzy ceremony or loads of paperwork. However, Sam had begged him not to say it during the wedding, and so Dean noticed his frustration at trying to keep his lips sealed.

If he had been at his first wedding… Dean knew he would’ve loved that. Elvis performed the ceremony and Marilyn Monroe danced around them and threw plastic rice over them once they kissed. There was music and laughter and so much joy that day. The chapel was red and pink and it had all kinds of strange ornaments on the walls.

But no, this time he was getting married at an ex-convent’s basement, with a hunter-priest, without music or even light – expect for the small dot that came from a small window at the back of the priest and the few flashes the used candles gave – and his brother and angel were unhappy, and Lisa wasn’t comfortable and he was missing (Y/N). It was a real pity party.

“What will you tell your dad when he finds out?” (Y/N) asked, unable to take away the stare from the metal ring Dean had just given her.

“He won’t.” Dean promised.

“So we get married and then what? We lived apart and meet each other in secret like we do now?” Dean looked down, of course he hadn’t thought of that.

“Only until we are old enough, I promise.” (Y/N) sighed heavily.

“We are old enough now, but to the eyes of John… We’re just kids.” She lifted her gaze. It was holding back a few tears. It hurt her to be like that.

“I know… But I’ll fix it, I promise.”

John died a month after the wedding. He never got to know in life about Dean’s secret shenanigans, and so he and (Y/N) could finally live the real married life – hunter’s version – with a honey moon all over America, visiting the most famous hunted houses and yanking as many spirits as they could.

Where would he take Lisa? He hadn’t even thought of it. He didn’t have money to take her to a real honey moon, and she wasn’t a huntress so the idea of hunting demons together was an absolute no.

Hell, Dean didn’t even feel like discussing such things. The idea of going on a honey moon with Lisa was frustrating. He didn’t want it; he didn’t want any of that. But he was afraid the realization had gotten to him too late.

“Do you, Dean Winchester, take Lisa Braeden as your wife…” The priest’s voice took him out of his mind.

Millions of flashbacks invaded his mind. (Y/N) laughing, (Y/N) crying, (Y/N)’s kisses, (Y/N) hunting, (Y/N) sleeping… Just (Y/N). He couldn’t help but to imagine what kind of child had she gotten to raise.

Of course he or she would be polite, and kind and well-behaved. (Y/N) was an excellent mother, and he didn’t even have to spy on her to know that. She had everything a mother required and even more, so he was confident the child would grow up like a champ.

He imagined a little girl with her eyes and his hair. Playing to fight the fairies rather than dressing up as them; making gun noises at the other kids at school and kicking whoever-bothered-her’s ass. She would be an absolute bad-ass with a sassy attitude but moral values that she would appreciate more than anything. She would have a big heart and a great mind… And Dean was missing that.

He couldn’t help but to chuckle sadly, interrupting the priest’s question. “Sorry,” he apologised after Lisa gave him a death glare, “where were we?”

“Will you take her as your wife?” The priest asked again, shortening the sentence.

It was time for him to make a decision. Lisa was an amazing woman, with a normal life and all, he couldn’t screw it up. Sam would never forgive him if he broke Lisa’s heart as well, and it was bound to happen, so Dean had to truly think it through.

“Dean?” Lisa insisted. He cleared his throat and let go off her hands.

“I can’t drag you into this life, Lis… Not you.” He said.

“What does that mean?” Lisa whispered.

“Dean, do you take her as your wife?” The priest insisted. He was an old friend, and he knew exactly what happened with (Y/N), so if Dean refused to marry Lisa he wouldn’t make such a fuss.

“No.” Dean apologized and walked out, taking off the tie he used when playing an FBI agent and throwing his coat – also from the FBI costume –to Sam.

“Where are you going?” Castiel asked.

“To find (Y/N).”

*Requests are ALWAYS open.*

Tags: @deanwssister @oaisara @coffeebreakandwinchesters @dreamingintheimpalawithdean

[omeglerpsokyeah-blog]

Destiel #36

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You both like destiel. You: [College AU. Cas and Dean broke up a couple weeks ago.] (3:53 am) I know we’re not together anymore, and that you’re angry with me, but the nightmares are back and you’re the only one who can calm me down. CN Stranger: Hey, Cas. DW Stranger: Bad night? DW You: Dean. Hey. I didn't think you'd answer. CN You: Yeah. CN Stranger: I was up. DW Stranger: You wanna talk about it? DW You: Nothing to talk about. It was just the same dream as usual. CN Stranger: It's not true, you know. You're here. We're okay. DW Stranger: I mean... you know. DW You: We're not okay. CN Stranger: I know. DW You: I'm still sorry. CN Stranger: Fuck, Cas. Is this helping? Bringing up the apologies right now? DW You: [no reply] Stranger: I'm sorry. I'm not trying to snap at you. DW You: No, it's okay. Just can't argue right now. CN Stranger: Talk to me. DW Stranger: Rate the bad from one to ten. DW You: Started at 7, but it's getting worse. CN Stranger: Do you want to discuss what's going on or just get your mind off it? DW You: Get my mind off it, please. CN Stranger: Sam called me again today. DW You: Yeah? CN Stranger: Says that he's being elected head of soccer and Model U.N. next year. Couldn't stop rambling about it. DW You: Always knew he'd do well. From a kid. CN Stranger: Mm. I'm just glad Dad hasn't pulled him out of crap since I've been here. But I'm proud. So much. DW You: You should be. You raised him so well. CN Stranger: He was like, I could hear clicking? Nerd was writing a paper while he talked to me. Or trying to at first. It stopped. He told me he kept writing 'fuck that' by mistake because of me. DW Stranger: So I told him I'd stop swearing if he cut his hair and he hushed up. DW You: Don't be horrible. Sam's hair is great. CN Stranger: It looks ridiculous. If I see so much as a single bun I will go fix it myself. DW You: M'gonna send him links to youtube videos on how to do a man bun. CN Stranger: Man bun. Ugh. DW Stranger: Ughhhhh. DW You: Might grow mine. CN Stranger: You'd look shitty with a manbun. DW You: :( CN Stranger: :T DW You: My hands have stopped shaking. CN Stranger: That's good. DW Stranger: Stay away from coffee. DW You: Mm. What about tequila? CN Stranger: Maybe not the best idea either. DW Stranger: Not sure how willing I am to scrape you off the ground today. DW You: Well, coffee and tequila is all I have in right now, so that's me done for. CN Stranger: Water, Cas. DW You: We're out of bottled water. You know I can't drink tap. CN Stranger: There's a vending machine literally two halls down from you. DW You: That's like a minutes walk. Too far. CN You: And it's dark. CN Stranger: Pineapple juice and bottled water. DW You: Possibility of getting kidnapped. CN Stranger: Check the panic box under your bed. DW You: [delayed] Did you put your shirt in there? CN Stranger: Sounds right. I don't remember the full contents. DW Stranger: I know there's water and juice and fruit snacks, though. DW You: Yeah, yeah. Got all that. CN Stranger: Yeah, yeah, yourself. Bam. I'm the best. DW You: You really are. CN Stranger: What else is in there? Advil, food. Shirt. DW You: Yeah, all that. A mixtape, too. CN Stranger: I'm disgusting. DW You: Sickening, really. CN Stranger: You can throw that out or whatever if you want. DW You: Why would I do that? CN Stranger: I don't know. DW You: I'm going to listen to it. Stay tuned for comments. CN Stranger: Stay tuned for defensiveness and self-repulsion in response to prior emotion. DW Stranger: I always liked making mixes but giving them is suffering personified. DW You: [delayed] Starts with you talking. Forgot what your voice sounds like. CN You: The smiths. Nice. Classic. CN Stranger: Murder me. Honestly. DW You: You keep talking in between songs, telling me to calm down and stuff. It's nice. CN Stranger: I definitely sing at one point, too. This was pre-guitar-death. DW Stranger: White Stripes, I think. DW You: [delayed] Yep, got to it. CN Stranger: 'I can tell that we are going to be friends'. DW Stranger: Skip over the part where I cough and fuck up. DW You: That's my favourite bit. CN Stranger: Gross. DW You: I miss you. CN Stranger: [no response] You: Sorry. Ruined it. CN Stranger: [delayed] You hurt me. DW You: I know. And I'm so sorry. CN Stranger: Fuck. DW You: I'm sorry. CN Stranger: I know. DW You: You don't. You don't know how sorry I am. I'm fucking. Jesus. I'm so sorry. CN Stranger: This isn't a good time. DW You: Okay. CN Stranger: One to ten. DW You: Nine. CN Stranger: Tell me what your favorite song was. DW You: We're going to be friends. CN Stranger: Gay. DW You: Caught me. CN Stranger: I miss having a guitar. DW You: Where is it? CN Stranger: Fucking roommate broke it. DW You: New or old one? CN Stranger: Old. DW You: That's shitty. CN Stranger: I sold the new one. DW You: Why? CN Stranger: Repairs fund. DW You: Nice. CN Stranger: I try my best. DW Stranger: Speaking of repairs, Dad crashed the car. DW You: The Impala? CN Stranger: He's fine, but she's in the shop. DW You: Drunk? CN Stranger: Probably. DW You: I'm sorry. CN Stranger: Not your fault. DW Stranger: Just gives me something to do next time I visit. DW You: Yeah, that's true. You always was amazing fixing her up. CN You: Charlie came by today. CN Stranger: Yeah? What'd she have to say? DW Stranger: Was it venomous? Because I told her to back off. DW You: No. She got all her anger out after the last time she visited. Think she just wanted to check on me. CN Stranger: I'm still sorry for that. Sisters. What can you do. DW You: You don't have to be. She was right. CN Stranger: You should eat something. DW You: Don't want to get up. CN You: I've eaten my snacks. CN Stranger: See, I'd have put French toast in the box, but it's a bit less 'last forever'. DW You: Mm. French toast. CN Stranger: Beat two eggs with a dash of milk and cinnamon sugar, fry in butter for a few minutes on each side, serve with syrup/jam/powdered sugar/cinnamon to taste. DW Stranger: Bread. Dip bread in eggs then fry. I missed a step. Dw You: Saved into notes. CN You: Probably won't end up as good as yours. I'm tragic at cooking. CN Stranger: I know. Don't burn it, please. Three minutes each side. Set a timer. DW You: I'll do it when I'm less exhausted. CN You: My mom's sick. CN Stranger: Christ, Cas. I'm so sorry. DW You: Not your fault. They want me to go home and see her. CN Stranger: Do you want to? DW You: Don't wanna see my dad, but I kind of have to. CN Stranger: Dads are shitty. All of them. DW Stranger: Moms are the real thing. Dw You: True. Who needs 'em? CN Stranger: Nobody. Dw You: Can't lose my mom, Dean. CN Stranger: You should go see her. DW You: I will. CN Stranger: Your mom taught me to make soup. DW You: So, the Novaks are responsible for your incredible cooking skills? CN Stranger: Just the soups. DW You: Soups are the gateway drug to cooking. CN Stranger: Hey, I grew up cooking. DW Stranger: Just couldn't get the simplest part. DW You: She did make great soups. CN Stranger: She showed me the egg drop one, halfway through sophomore year I think. Sophomore year sucked. DW You: God, it was the worst. CN You: But, it's the first time you kissed me, so at least I made your life a little better. CN Stranger: I dunno where you were, but I remember her holding the fork because I was hungry and shaky and she kept telling me, "This is a good soup for when you have nothing else. College, or whenever." DW Stranger: You were the highlight for sure. DW You: We never thought we were gonna make it to college, and look where we are. CN You: Glad to hear it. CN Stranger: My bathroom, sitting in an empty tub staring at mold on the ceiling? DW You: Living the dream. CN Stranger: The dream has more Spaghettios than anticipated. DW Stranger: You had no competition, by the way. Best part by far. DW You: Same for you. I mean, experiencing cheerios for the first time in Sophomore year came as a close second, but you were the best. CN Stranger: I friggin' love Cheerios. DW You: I can tell by the way you capitalised them. Cheerios. You: CN Stranger: You eat *c*heerios for forty percent of your diet and it's either love or hatred. DW You: I love Cheerios. Cheerios are the most important thing in my life. CN You: Cheerios will never leave me. CN You: Unless I forget to buy them. CN Stranger: Cheerios loves you, too. DW Stranger: Unless you forget to buy them. DW Stranger: But it can be forgiven, I think. DW You: Are you sure? Is it not a crime punishable by life-long unforgiveness? CN Stranger: I mean, it'd be pretty bad. It'd hurt. Getting overlooked or forgotten by someone you trusted. DW Stranger: But maybe not lifelong. DW You: Sure, yeah. But my hope would be that if I apologised to the Cheerios enough, they would forgive me. CN Stranger: I'm guessing they just didn't want to hear it at first. Cheerios can be pretty stupid. I mean, just look at the mascot. Why does the bee rap now, you know? Like, what? DW You: Your mind is so weird. CN Stranger: Guilty. DW You: M'tired. CN Stranger: You okay? DW You: Four. CN Stranger: Better than nine. DW You: A lot better than a nine. CN Stranger: I'm glad you're feeling better. DW You: I'm going to go home tomorrow. CN You: Want me to call in and check on Sam? CN Stranger: Right now? DW Stranger: I have a feeling he's asleep. DW You: No. Tomorrow, when I go home. CN Stranger: Oh. Sorry, tired. Yeah, if you want. DW You: You can go to sleep. CN Stranger: Nah, I'm very busy assessing this mold situation. DW You: None of my brothers are going. Home, I mean. CN Stranger: Do you want me to come? DW You: I can do it. CN Stranger: I'm offering. DW You: Don't you have things to do here? CN Stranger: Your mom is more important than my math class. DW You: Only if you're sure. CN Stranger: Wouldn't have offered otherwise. DW You: Thank you. CN Stranger: No big deal. DW You: Course not. CN Stranger: Are we flying? DW You: Shit, yeah. Are you okay with that? CN Stranger: Yeah, of course. DW Stranger: I'll be fine. DW You: You sure? CN Stranger: You know me, I ain't scared of anything. DW You: Dean, you're terrified of flying. CN Stranger: And abandonment and not being good enough, but we don't talk about it, so it's fine. DW You: You are good enough. CN Stranger: Eh. DW You: Doesn't matter how many times I tell you, I know. CN Stranger: What can I say? Can't undent a messed up cereal box. DW You: Tried. CN Stranger: More than I deserved. DW You: My eyes are getting itchy. What does that mean? CN Stranger: Either allergies or crying. DW You: Probably both. I'm going to book you a plane ticket. CN Stranger: Middle seat, please. DW You: Already done. CN Stranger: You're good. DW You: Hm. Debatable. CN Stranger: Do you remember what you told me, at a sleepover one time? We were like, thirteen. DW Stranger: Mistakes don't ruin the whole thing. DW You: You'll have to give me a bit more than that. CN You: Ah, yeah. I was a wise child. CN Stranger: Very pretentious, but wise. DW You: I'm still sorry. CN Stranger: I love you so much it hurts. DW You: I love you, too. So much. I fucked up, and I will never be able to forgive myself. But I'm so fucking sorry. CN Stranger: I don't want this to be how it ends. DW You: Take me back? CN Stranger: Yes. DW You: Yeah? CN Stranger: Will you have me? DW You: This isn't just you being sleep deprived, right? CN You: I'll always have you. CN Stranger: I'm so sorry for everything I said. I was a huge dick. DW You: Shut up. I deserved so much worse. CN Stranger: I shouldn't have said any of it. DW You: It was true. CN Stranger: Fuck. The true shit hurts the most. DW Stranger: I was so scared. DW You: I'll never do shit like that again. I promise. I was just drunk and upset and fucked up. CN Stranger: Sounds like my autobiography. DW Stranger: Don't leave me. DW You: You're the only person I want. CN Stranger: //i gtg but this was super emotional and good!!! tysm!!!! Stranger has disconnected.

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

GABRIEL JOINS TEAM-FREE-WILL

"Sam!" Dean yelled out, as the vampire advanced towards a passed-out Sam, lying in a heap on the stone cold floor, hoping it would trigger a response. "Hey! Sammy!"

If Dean's yelling at the top of his lungs had produced more effect than making the vampire turn, and snarl at Dean baring his fangs - more as in caused Sam to wake up with a jolt and seize the silver knife and cut down the vampire's head with it - what happened then would not have happened. But it did.

"Hi." Came an unexpectedly calm voice, and with a loud swoosh of wings - one learns the difference between wings and wind after the first million times an angel flies in front of you - a figure materialised, in front of Sam, almost like a shield. Before Dean could process how an angel had come to their aid - because Cas was getting the victims home and no way was he back so soon - the man had sliced through the neck of the Alpha Vampire, who was headed towards Sam, with a flourish of his blade. "Merry Christmas." He spoke, his eyes turned to Dean, in a voice way too cheerful for someone who'd just killed a vampire.

The man's eyes shone with a twinkle in the poorly-lit room, and Dean ran his eyes down the short guy, sporting a smug, self-satisfied half-smirk as he stood in the middle of the room; golden eyes with tints of orient, brown jacket too big for him, and silver blade in hand. "Archangel," Dean recognised, and forced a smile on his face for the man who'd just saved his brother's life. "Gabriel."

"Random hunter," the shorter man grinned back, imitating Dean. "Dean."

Dean rolled his eyes but kept his mouth shut, observing, as Gabriel kneeled down next to Sam, and touched Sam's forehead with two fingers.

Sam shivered, and his eyes widened open, jaw dropped as he gasped for breath. "Agh!?" He let out, as he struggled to get to his feet.

"Agh to you too, Sleeping Beauty." Gabriel straightened, and Sam too stood up in a second.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked, his brow furrowed, having to look down at Gabriel.

"Saving your gorgeous ass, duh." Gabriel shrugged nonchalantly. "Even platypuses learn stuff faster than you. I healed you, by the way. The cracked ribs are okay now, and how about you go see a doctor next time when you begin to feel pain in your ches-" he noticed the glares Sam was shooting at him, "Oh, Dean didn't know? Of course! You guys seriously do not share enough stuff for the codependent relationship you have. One would think that when you live with a..." He droned on, in his highly-intelligent voice he reserved for, everyone.

Sam sighed, tuning him out, since Dean was now shooting daggers at him with wide eyes. "Thanks for saving my life, jerk." He muttered.

"You're welcome, Samsquatch." Gabriel said instantly, continuing with his lecture. "As I was saying, you must be more sharing as huma-"

***

"He wants to what!?" Dean thundered.

Castiel sheepishly bit his lip. "It's what he said. I didn't know what to tell him, so I came to you."

"So, what!? He comes up to you and says, 'Hey, Cassidy' - I know he calls you Cassidy Cas, don't pretend like I am wrong - 'I wanna be a part of your-" Dean would've continued ranting to his best friend, expressing his anger at Gabriel through rudeness and loudness which was wasted on Castiel, who knew Dean too well to get irked up at the yelling.

"I could hear you through my headphones in my bedroom, at least fifty metres away." Sam entered the Bunker Kitchen, where Dean and Castiel had been basing their argument, with a mug in his hand, and got to filling his mug with coffee again. "Whatcha yelling about? Gabriel?"

"That jackass told Cas that he wanted to be a part of Team Free Will, since clearly, he, that is Cas, wasn't enough angel for our briga-" Dean began furiously.

"Gabriel wants to hunt with us?" Sam cut him off calmly. He knew Dean could get incredibly worked up if someone hinted that Castiel was inept, even his own brother - you know, angelically, Gabriel and Castiel are brothers - but the proposal sounded interesting. "Us 'mere mortals and seraphim'." He drew air-quotes.

"Yes." Castiel breathed out, with his usual unreadable expression. "He asked me how he could 'sign up'."

Dean rolled his eyes, slapping a hand to his forehead. "I'm not working with that-"

"Amazing appealing, athletic, adorable, Archangel." Completed Gabriel, entering the room casually, actually walking for a change.

"This is private. You can't just walk into the Bunker Kitchen in front of us when we're talking about something private." Sam informed Gabriel, because Dean was too busy turning red.

"You want me to fly here and stay invisible?" Gabriel propositioned, blinking and looking up at Sam through his eyelashes, innocently.

Dean rolled his eyes. "You're none of the stuff you said, except the last one. Unfortunately."

"Hey, hey, hey, there's no need to get rude." Gabriel smiled crookedly. "Remember, I'm of the same brethren who can do this," He waved his hand in the air, and as per habit, Dean and Sam gulped to see if their throats were still working. "And stop your lungs from getting air by blocking off all air supply."

"See?" Dean pursed his lips, and almost complained to Castiel. "This is why i dont wanna work with him! He's always threatening to kill us!"

Gabriel feigned shock. "When did I ever!?"

Sam laughed, at the look of betrayal on his face, and noticed as Gabriel looked at him intently. He closed his mouth mid-laugh, suddenly conscious of the pair of dazzling golden eyes on him, and spoke in a more serious voice. "Listen. Gabriel, you actually wanna join us?"

"It's been my dream since, like, I don't know, forever!" Gabriel imitated a teenage fangirl who might've been asked to become the lead singer of One Direction.

Sam stifled another laugh. "Well, then, I'm sorry to disappoint you. We're not looking for more members."

Gabriel protruded his lower lip mutinously, looking like a kid who'd been denied lollipops. "But..I am the Archangel Gabriel."

Castiel nodded his head thoughtfully, turning to Dean. "He would be a pretty good addition.."

"I am not working with him!" Dean crossed his arms. "This is the guy who killed me hundreds of times in a time loop he created to torture Sam into learning to live without me."

"Hey, I know I seem like the type to be perfect but even I make bad decisions. At that moment, it seemed correct." Gabriel shrugged, and turned back to Sam. "And plus, Sam forgave me for it. He was the one who had to go through it. Why can't you?"

"Probably because I'm not Sam Forgives-everything-Good-to-everyone-Never-hate-anyone Winchester." Dean snapped back.

Sam narrowed his eyes at Dean.

"What? Its true!" Dean defended.

Sam, encouraged by the insult, turned to Gabriel, with new determination to prove his brother wrong. He didn't forgive everything. He wasn't going to. "For your information, Gabriel, I haven't forgiven you." Steely expression, check.

Gabriel squinted. "Yes, you have. You're just saying that to prove Dean wrong."

Sam sighed, again. Of course, Gabriel could read his mind. He didn't even have to touch him for it. "Get out of my brain, Gabriel. As I was saying, we're not looking for members."

"But you're only three!" Gabriel protested.

"And that's enough." Dean growled back.

"Yes," Castiel added. "As Charlie put it," Castiel spoke almost proud of himself to be quoting the redhead whom he had absolutely come to admire, "Sam's the smart one. Dean's the sexy one. And I'm the nice one."

"There's so much wrong with that, but I'll point that out later." Gabriel replied cheerfully, making his eyebrows wiggle. "Fine, let's say that it is true. You got a smart one, a sexy one, a nice one. What about the genius immaculate delightful one?" He finger-gunned himself.

Sam rolled his eyes, suppressing a smile. "I don't think we need one of those, Gabriel."

"Puh-lease," Gabriel smirked back. "You guys so totally need one of those. I mean, you do manage to save the World each time, but you die so many times in the way." He rolled his eyes casually.

"As if you don't," Sam retorted. "I mean, you've died almost as many times as..." He thought about it. "Almost half as many times as Castiel." His death count was the least of all of them. Dean was in the hundreds, Sam was well over 10.

"So I've got you believe." Gabriel reciprocated, tossing his head with a look of mystery.

Sam sighed, once again. "Look, Gabriel, if Dean doesn't wanna work with you, we can't do anything about it. We can't let you enter unless everyone is willing."

Dean still had his arms crossed against his chest. "I can't trust you. You're too strong."

"That's an advantage, dumbass." Gabriel said, suddenly serious, his eyes gleaming with authority. "You don't get it. I am far stronger than the rest of you. I can teleport you to the moon if required, faster than your angel can, even if he still had his wings. I can heal you all, angels even. For most monsters, my true form is enough to turn them to a pile of dust. I'm one of the four strongest beings of God's creation, and for the first time in aeons, I actually want to use my powers for the good of mankind. I can just go back to being the Trickster, or doing nothing at all but chilling on Netflix from Neptune with a planetful of magical girls and candies, but I actually want to do something notable. Like you guys. Prove myself to daddy- to God. An-"

"Dean." Sam turned to Dean, cutting Gabriel off. "I trust him." He spoke singularly.

Dean looked a lot less negative, and hesitated. "But, Sam.."

"I trust him too, Dean." Castiel added.

Dean smiled smally at Castiel. "He's telling the truth?" He questioned the angel. Castiel could tell when a man was lying, something told his angelic grace.

"I wouldn't know, physically," Castiel replied truthfully. It was an Archangel. He was just a Warrior angel of the garrison. "But I think so, yes."

Dean stared at Gabriel for a minute. Gabriel stared back, holding his gaze.

"Fine, you're i-"

"I knew you were not just beautiful with no brains." Gabriel grinned back, cutting him off. "Awesome, I'm one of you guys now! Cassidy, say the tagline in your growly-sex-voice now!" He commanded.

Castiel sighed, as Sam smiled. "Tagline?"

"Oh, you know, 'family business'-" Gabriel spoke in a voice octaves lower than his usual.

"Saving people, hunting things, the family business." Sam obliged instead. "Welcome to the team. You're family now."

"What now?" Gabriel grinned.

"Strippers and Ice Cream at Bob's?" Dean proposed.

"Hey, you officially hangout with me now." Gabriel cut him off. "That's a thing of the past. We're going for champagne and French food I'll pay you ten bucks to pronounce correctly. So tell me, guys, any of you got any special preferences? On a cloud? Dinosaur era? Mariana Trench?"

"Show-off," Sam muttered under his breath, as Gabriel blissfully ignored him and continued listing stuff which had Dean almost sing in pleasure.

"Or we could go visit the first Oper- oh, I almost forgot. Here's my contract. Sign under your names, boys, on the first and last pages." Gabriel produced a lengthy paper document out of air. "You don't need it. It's just got stuff saying how you agree to accept me as your boss, and how you'll all get matching tattoos of my nam-"

"Gabriel!"

[tinkdw]

;-; Hello Can you tell us what's your favourite things about Sam Winchester, please ? Why we should love him ? Because i don't saw a lot of metas or just post about him without cas or dean (and of course i love them both but i need this pleaase)

Hi! 

I do post about Sam I promise :) I just get so many asks about Dean / Cas and Destiel that it’s not as common.

I’m actually thinking right now about Sam… about… well, WTF happened with the whole demon blood / hunger games kids bumping each other off thing in season 2? What was that all about? Cos in the end, Sam is Lucifer’s true vessel? So… he didn’t earn that right, that was about his blood and lineage, so, was this a separate thing? Was this a Boyking thing? Could Sam have been Lucifer’s vessel AND King of Hell?

I’m honestly just a little confused…

Anyway, I have a tag for Sam, specifically my endgame wishlist for Sam which is #give sam a dog and #give sam a dog and a magic book and #Witch!Sam because I LOVE the idea of Witch!Sam.

Witch!Sam is my jam because for me TFW’s endgames are:

Sam - Self forgiveness, releasing himself from guilt

Dean - Self acceptance, liking himself

Cas - Self worth, a sense of belonging

Witch!Sam fits with the self forgiveness and releasing himself from guilt arc because a huge part of this is the supernatural element within himself and his guilt / cleanliness issues around the demon blood. I could talk for hours about how he represses this through food. Did Sam really have such a big thing about clean eating before the demon blood? It wasn’t at all on the same scale, plus as @super-sootica pointed out to me a while back, the whole Sully thing was a clear exposition of this, of his repressed desire for Candy and a way out of hunting etc etc and how this fits with being reconciled in his endgame. Yeah, I could also go on for hours about food meta in this show.

Accepting that he might have a Supernatural skill, innate within him and that it can be a force for good would be absolutely amazing for his endgame.

Sorry to bring it back to this, but as a clear mirror of Sam accepting the Supernatural within himself, Dean’s would be loving and being loved in return by a Supernatural being, one that he didn’t believe existed, that he thought were too good to exist, that his mother put up on a pedestal, telling him they were watching over him, one who tells him he will watch over him (and I head canon one day he will tell Cas he will watch over HIM) and certainly one he thinks, or used to thin, before his endgame, is too good for him. Yeah, so you see, I always come back to Destiel because it just FITS their individual arcs dammit and is a perfect mirror here for Sam’s endgame arc within himself.

Anyway, SAM. Yes, my personal head canons are:

- Sam wanted to escape but now he has reconciled the scholarly side and the hunting side within himself, he will be a perfect MoL/Hunter reconciled community leader, the scholar (while Cas is the strategist and Dean is the hands on teacher).

- Sam x dog, for sure.

- Sam x Eileen, yes dammit I want Eileen.

- Witch!Sam

- Sam x actual food. Not rabbit food. Sam x candy when he damn well wants it (and sharing a massive bag of skittles with Cas, who also loves Candy, while Dean munches down on his toffee popcorn and they all watch Netflix together please).

- Sam x Dean ultimate bro-tp. Supportive, caring, equal footed brothers and no more child/parent dynamic.

- Sam x Cas ultimate bro-in-law / BFF - tp. Going on runs, sharing candy, playing pranks on Dean, bonding over shared books, scholarly stuff, farmers markets and art.

- Sam x HAPPINESS.

[tinkdw]

The future - and it is showing us this loud and clear

This episode was amazing. After flailing and basically shouting all day I am so happy and so excited that I joined tumblr - the quality of posts today has been excellent, both humorous and inciteful and I LOVE YOU ALL :)

I hope its ok I’m going to tag a few great posts in this to reference as I don't want to go over stuff other people have already meta-d about so excellently!

This episode, titled the future, seems to me to be Dabb basically telling us what he wants for the next part of the show, the “better way” that he wants to take it.

So here are my main bullet points that I will expand on a little below and link those excellent posts to where relevant:

A. Sam 

Sam is clearly portrayed again, recurrently as the researcher, the “brains” of the operation (before you say ‘Dean is so clever though!��� I’m just pointing out Sam’s love of the scholarly side of things and how this is where he fits). Sam’s endgame must now be to head up the MoL/hunter network in this respect.

B. Sam and Dean 

They work so well as a team here, Sam putting a tracker in Cas’s phone while he’s distracted by Dean, researching v whatever Dean was doing (maybe making a pining mixtape along the lines of “all by myself” and “I miss you” “please come home”, BUT they are shown as different people, with different interests, skills and relationships - with Cas for example, & not codependent. Again hammering this home in this episode. THANK YOU DABB, GLYNN & BERENS.

C. THE RECURRING AND CONSISTENT NARRATIVE OF DESTIEL.

This whole episode is one big love fest. We went from one ‘wow I can't believe they just did that!’ to the next to the next with hardly enough time for us to catch out breath! WHAT WAS THIS EPISODE?!

OK, so we have :

1. My Romeo & Juliet / Gaze up Trope Balcony Meta.

2. The Mixtape Meta, another EXPLICIT romantic trope by @drsilverfish.

3. The Dean “keep it” parallels, the first one that came to my mind was Arwen (another human+ / eternal being who decided to relinquish immortality couple):

Aragon: this belongs to you. Arwen: keep it, it was a gift… it is mine to give to whom I will, like my heart.

But also all the other ‘gift’ tropes, the standard romantic trope that when a couple breaks up you return the gifts.... I think Cas wasn’t sure he was going to be forgiven, after Dean’s outburst in the war room, so he goes to return the cassette, but Dean does forgive him nearly instantaneously, which actually makes it even worse that he has to steal the colt straight after...

5. The difference between Sastiel and Destiel again emphasised, more and more this season. I don't think I even have to detail this, just, basically the whole episode shows this.

6. This magnificent gifset by @magnificent-winged-beast which shows the difference between Dean’s angst at actually watching the colt get destroyed and the potential killing of Cas...

Slight aside - Performing!Dean. 

This magnificent gifset that shows Dean’s facade coming down, he doesn't even attempt to make it sound less ‘gay’ when he tells Sam that Cas came to his room, played him and took the colt from his secret hiding place under his pillow, he even looks down before he says it like he KNOWS how it is going to sound but says it anyway. 

source: @yourfavoritedirector.

And Sam doesn't even flinch. YES THANK YOU DABB, GLYNN & BERENS!

4. SO...WHY is Dean still doing everything he did for Cas during this episode and still defending him to Sam even though he appeared pissed and Cas repeatedly betrayed him?

Well, in 12x12 Cas said “I love you”, clearly understood by Dean (and Sam to be directed at Dean). There was no real reciprocation though from Dean, other than Dean family-zoning him and Sam’s fantastic “we are doing this for you, Cas”. 

So regarding Dean, Cas is hurt and believes it isn't reciprocated. Now Dean is pissed and still using the WE card at every turn, so what is a celestial being to do? Cas assumes this is the end, that there is no hope, he returns the mixed tape. BUT Dean says no keep it, this is NOT the end. 

Cas understands that this is therefore not the end, but it is complicated. He explains that he wanted to “come back with a win for you.... for myself”. He wants this for Dean and for himself, this is very important, everything he is doing now and in the future is NOT all about Dean, there is his own agency and morality involved here too.

For Cas, when it comes to it, he wants this reciprocation of his love of course, but right now he has bigger fish to fry and really he wants to protect Sam and Dean and save the world. 

Now, going back to the “what the hell is wrong with you man?” followed by an awkward silence.... and where Cas then goes to return the gift. Yes, Cas feels that he has said his piece in 12x12 and is rebuffed, but meanwhile Dean is struggling with what Cas has said and everything else that is going on. He has a lot on his plate, not only Cas but his own personal history, his deep seated issues that he is clearly working on this season (see all the performing!Dean facade crumbling meta going around), his issues around his mother, the BMoL, Lucifer, the nephilim.... I mean that is a lot for an emotionally healthy person let a lone DEAN WINCHESTER.

Dean is trying to say / show how he feels he’s just rubbish at it, but he's getting better!

“We?” “Yes dumbass, WE.” This is his forgiveness. And it is betrayed just moments later. But does this stop him trusting Cas again? NO.

THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. For their dynamic, to show that they still do ultimately trust each other.

EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING DEAN STILL DEFENDS CAS TO SAM!

Oh, and I just need to add how desperate I am for Sam to turn to Dean soon and just say “No, Dean, this is between you and Cas, stop bringing me into this”. PLEASE I SWEAR I WILL BE GOOD! I mean, how repeated, consistent and out of place it was (I mean, not only to shippers, I think anyone would think it was out of place the way it was portrayed in their personal conversation in Dean’s room) - this has got to be addressed, no?!

 5. A better way

So. What does this mean moving forwards?

Well, firstly, I have moved from being 85% sure Destiel would be endgame to about 95% sure. Lets be real. This episode cements this. Whether you like it or not, it’s happening.

So, what is the better way?

Overall, it seems that Dabb wants to move things forwards. And his key points all season are Free Will, breaking from past repressions and negative influences, moving forwards with what the characters choose and want for their endgame and for sure now endgame Destiel.

I have in the past speculated about quite a lot of stuff, some right and some... still to be seen and some not right, but the overall arc speculation that I saw foreshadowed since early season 12 is RIGHT ON TRACK.

Now, the question is will Dabb go backwards and go to the old, standard SPN ways where probably Dean and Cas will be separated, Cas will be wrong again in his trust in the nephilim - it WILL be evil (rehash of s6 and s8) and he will need to be ‘broken’ from the mind control by Dean in a stronger crypt scene etc etc etc.

Or will he move forwards, onto a “better way”? Will we get another s11 ‘happy ending’? Where it appears all good but there is still stuff going on behind the scenes for s13... Or maybe a not so happy ending but that ultimately will be resolved happily? 

Maybe the baby has it’s grace removed (so glad this is an option it was driving me insane that they hadn't mentioned it by now!) OR it’s not evil at all! it’s the ANTI-anti-Christ, it chose Cas because he is Lucifer’s mirror in that he LOVES Humanity. I mean, the whole point of the show is agency, free will and not being forced to follow the result of your parentage / past ....especially this season with Sam and Dean’s arcs....

Maybe human!Cas, potential hunter Daddies, Cas staying at home calling Dean while he's out on MOTW hunts with Sam being all “Dean there’s poop everywhere, I’m sorry it got on your favourite shirt, but please please come home this is so hard!” “OK babe, don't worry, we’ll be back tomorrow, the case was a milk run!” when actually Dean nearly died and Sammy saved the day and.... etc because really? what are we supposed to think from that motel scene? With Cas smiling all cute and using the world “righteous” when talking about the kids future guardian?! (and Kelly survives if we are going to be extra nice).

Maybe Lucifer will die / be dealt with and it is the MoL that are the big bad next year.....aiding the overall future arc of TFW as leaders of the MoL/Hunter collaboration (Chuck I hope so).

Or will it be a mix of the two?

Well my money is on that it will be a mix....  

DABB IS SHOWING US THE FUTURE Y’ALL. AND THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT.

[tinkdw]

I often find so much negativity about Sam y destiel blogs... why is that? and if you could lead me into some sam positive blogs...

Hi! This confuses me, everyone I know loves Sam too :D

The only thing I would say is that we meta writers in the Destiel side don’t have a blind martyrising view of Sammy, we view him flaws and all, as we do both Dean and Cas and everyone else, so if you want OMG SAM IS AMAZING HE HAS NEVER PUT A FOOT WRONG HE IS TO BE ADORED AND WE MUST IGNORE ALL HIS MISTAKES then I would say we are not for you. 

We pick apart all the characters and their flaws as well as their amazingly positive points and tbh we focus more on the positive, because why would you want to bring the mood down when the show is something we all love and seems to be in itself going down a more positive route these days? 

Sam at the moment is having some awesome plot points that are going to get really relevant going forwards for his arc, which I call his self forgiveness arc (whereas Dean’s is self acceptance and Cas’ is self worth).

Sam’s story is getting really interesting and much more relevant to the mytharc again after seasons 6-12 have been, lets be honest, very Dean focused, not solely of course but still, and I think it is going to pick up massively in season 13 so if you want positive but not blind meta and general stuff about Sam as well as Destiel and TFW in general then I would say take a look at me, @amwritingmeta, @postmodernmulticoloredcloak, @mittensmorgul, @elizabethrobertajones, @margarittet, @godshipsit, @obsessionisaperfume, @bluestar86, @nerdylittleshit, @grey2510, @k-vichan for a start :)