#Did I get everyone?

[green5quirrel]

Star Trek SNW Headcannons

This is some of my Star Trek Strange New Worlds bullshit. Feel free to scroll, followers. Scroll like the wind!

So far Star Trek: SNW has been the most Heterosexual Star Trek in YEARS. Granted, we're just a bit past halfway through the first season. There's been queer shit mentioned-ish. But compared to DISCO, this series has embraced being the gayest straight show since TOS.

I like it. Don't me wrong. The nostalgia is ON FIRE with this show. I'm just eating it up like a turtle and a strawberry. (Om...nom...fucking nom...)

But my thirst to see my queer fam represented (as well as myself) on screen has lead my brain to turn into a neon rainbow cloud of electricity with one mission: gay everyone. Gay as verb, mind you. I want to gay EVERYONE.

Now, I won't. In my headcannons I'm sure they'll be a token straight character, so don't you worry my little allies.

But I need more queer.

Get ready your hate comments, my sweet lampreys, because I'm about to RUIN some stuff.

Pike: I'm about to start ruining right now. Pike is our token hetero. He's a tried and true ally, but he has a thing for powerful feminine energy. He wants to be RULED. (But what about Spock?? You leave Kirk's bitch out of this!)

Una: Bi. Lusting over La'an. Knowing the chain of command, tho, so not wanting to do anything about it. Probably has had a previous romantic life. Perhaps has a child/children.

La'an: Lusting over Una. Follows the damn rules so same as Una. Repressed emotionally enough to have only had unsuccessful flings. Is too intimidating for most, even the butchest among them. Loves women but doesn't need your fucking labels because she's so out of touch with her romantic side that she doesn't even think about it.

Ortegas: Ace/Demi (that's right, AT ME). She is passionate as hell. She is friend. She is queer platonic with Chapel. She is loving some garlic bread and cake. She is tired of your bullshit.

Spock: Pan. I mean, if he's gonna be bi (which he totally is) it would be just as logical to be pan because there are so many expressions of gender and spectrums of anatomical and genetic sexual characteristics...why limit? Fascinating. He also has a crush on everyone all the time. Polyam as well because ¿Por qué no dos?

Chapel: Thinks she needs a man but really she just needs a family. She's in so many queer platonics she has trading cards. She likes sex. If anything she is pan. But she thinks she wants to settle down. Pines for one person while not realizing she actually wants everyone. Also has a kink for aliens. Would never tell anyone she's sweet on Hemmer. But who wouldn't be?

M'Benga: Complicated. His love is focused on his daughter currently. His energy is taken by figuring out how to save her. No time for relationships other than the platonic family ones he's making with the crew or professional specialists he's working with to treat her. He's a sweet cinnamon roll and I hope they give him happiness. I'd want him on my side. Fierce love, that one.

Hemmer: My love! Hemmer! Hello, dear! He's super gay. Has an Andorian low-key partner he connects with daily on another starship (Shran story influence). They joke about how Starfleet tries to spread the aliens out to every ship and that's why they've never been assigned together. They're casual because neither have the emotional resources to dedicate to each other in a committed way. But neither one are too invested in seeking out other partners either. Both have traumatic backstories where they are rejected by their family units. I even have his partner's name. Etnar. Also, Etnar's a botanist.

Uhura: Super into other cultures, she is super pan. Everything is open to her. She wants to know. She has compassion. Her relationships have been strong and passionate. But she is still wandering before settling down. She is focused on what's in front of her, not the future. Crushes? Oh yeah. Like Christine she can't help but find everyone so attractive but also so interesting. She doesn't know if she'll ever feel like she truly belongs but she wants to make the MOST of her time! I just can't wait to see where they take her. And unlike the other characters, I really don't need to see her in a relationship. She is a such a full character already. I just want to see what she accomplishes!

Kirk: You think I'd pass up Sammy? Nah. He's curious. He'll try anything once. He defies labels. He just does things for the sake of doing them. He gets hurt. He gets up. He tries someone else. Ends up in a surprisingly stable relationship. Probably with an androgynous alien without the definitions of sex and gender that we have. They're very happy together.

[mausolealdrift]

its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website

[egophiliac]

bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word

I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.

(I'm sorry)

[twilight-zoned-out]

Some things about Allan:

He’s the only one who reacts to the narrator

He’s the only doll (besides the Weird House) who isn’t swayed in some way by Ken’s takeover

He also declares himself as “Ken's buddy" (making canon his official box description) which makes his inability to be swayed more interesting

He has bendable legs (probably the only reason he tries to jump the fence instead of going around like everyone else)

He easily decked a half-dozen construction Kens and could probably singlehandedly win the Ken fight

He seems to know more about the real world than most Barbies

He knows what NSYNC is 

He knows about other Allan copies living in the real world (I’m trying to figure out if he made this up to convince the humans he can live in the real world, but even if he did, how does he know what NSYNC is???)

There are no other Allan models

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[ninjasmudge]

thats a red flag narinder, get that crown back while you still can

+ top panel without text below the cut

[shslpunkartist99]

As someone who is still a bit new-ish here, I would very much like to hear some old facts about the Cast! 😄

Shotgun time (idk what that means but we rolling)

Keith lost his voice momentarily when Pico was going through a mental attack, a steay bullet hitting his neck (I'm not doctor, just pretend it makes sense)

Pico may be the brains for the most part, but his chaotic behavior comes out with Darnell and Nene because they've been through a lot of shit together, and he trusts them wholeheartedly

Morgana spray painted a mural in honor of the school shooting incident. This is how Pico and Morgana got reunited

The only reason Keith trained Sharky to be a support dog is so that he could take him to places that didn't allow pets otherwise. It worked out in the long run, but still

The Goth Punks were spared because Pico couldn't bring himself to kill them. They were later saved by Naomi's brother, Seth, because he tend to care and watch over broken children

Amelia was a lonely child because her parents were overprotective yet very busy. Naomi found her during one of her flights, and took Amelia for a ride, having Amelia fall in love with the Human World

Olivia gets lost a lot. Barry found her one day, starting their love, and then Otis found them both lost, starting their trio

Olivia fell from the sky and landed in Zardy's land. They helped her get back home, and they were able to make a familia bond together

When Keith was discovering himself, he asked Grammy "What do you think it's like to have a penis?" She laughed, but at least he had support

Every year for Rae's bday while Pico was in hiding, he would leave a bouquet of sunflowers by her door. No matter how ready she was to catch him, he always managed to get away

Pico, Nene, and Darnell made a su//icide pact, stating if they were all at their lowest, they would die together. Probably won't do it now since they've all gotten better, but it existed!

Core joined the Main verse cuz Beat-z was traveling thru verses, and when they found him, he was in a small child form. Feeling bad, Beat-Z took them to a safer verse, even though it's not usually the smartest move

Kurai isn't human/alive?; you're only able to see him if you've had very depressive thoughts/have attempted to un-alive yourself at least once. He's also weirdly in good terms with LD because Kurai doesn't bug it too much (also confuses it with his very presence)

Amelia kept her demonic form a secret at first because she was somewhat ashamed of it. After saving Keith and Pico from a car crash with her powers, they both accepted her, so she used them more frequently

Keith is gay blue beeping gremlin.... wait, we know this--

[pangur-and-grim]

I’m too gullible with people. I’ll have encounters and be like “aw they seemed nice ☺️” and then everyone around me will be like NONONONONO THAT WAS THE DEVIL!!!!!!!

[amnestyliketaz]

in honor of the nimona movie (it’s so good i’m gonna scream and cry for the next million years) i must share my favorite nimona art ever

drawn by ND stevenson ofc and posted on twitter a few years ago i believe

do i even have to SAY anything? the shark, it’s not rocket surgery, baby nimona, the DOMESTICITY of it all im gonna explode

UPDATE!!!! GAY DADS AU THREAD https://twitter.com/gingerhazing/status/1676058949504892928?s=46

[forgotmysword]

Not one person has mentioned marcille’s fucking breath hitch/quiver in the dub. Im literally foaming at the mouth.

[autoneurotic]

i’m going to throw the fuck yp WHOOOOOO made this WHY is it in my break room im losing my mind

[shimmershy]

Chara can stand exactly ONE human. That's it.

[areus-in-a-little-cave]

Mischaracterization in fics is annoying and can sometimes make me be like “he would not say that” EXCEPT when I do it. he would say that because I am holding him at gunpoint to do so

[idlesuperstar]

this speaks to me on a molecular level

[fromaliminalspace]

Steve helpfully offering his hand to everyone boarding the boat, only to get ignored or unnoticed every single time. that’s it, that’s the post

[ladylightning]

very special to me that every critic has panned lisa frankenstein while every bitch on tumblr is like "this movie was made specifically for ME"