#also len does the BEST old person acting of the bunch

[idlesuperstar]

this speaks to me on a molecular level

[audhdnight]

Okay I can’t sleep because I have a Snape rant brewing so I’m just gonna get it out.

(Obligatory disclaimer: I fucking hate JKR. I’m not talking about this out of any love for her or her work, I’m talking about it because people still genuinely think Snape is “morally gray” or “misunderstood” and I can NOT take it)

I know we all have soft spots for the bad guys with tragic backstories but what I can’t get over is that snape’s backstory isn’t even tragic??? It’s not a tale of lost love, like, even a little bit. He didn’t lose Lilly to James because he and James were never competing for her, at least not from her point of view. We have absolutely no indication in the text that Lilly ever saw Snape as a romantic prospect at all. They were childhood friends, that’s it. It’s the “nice guy” incel bullshit all over again. Snape thought he had a right to her affection, thought that the only reason she didn’t love him was because James somehow took that love away, and that is just not how any of this works. He was not entitled to Lilly’s love, ESPECIALLY not when he was a literal wizard N@zi.

Say we have a little white boy and a little black girl. This boy is raised in an extremely racist household, but still becomes friends with the girl because he comes to see her as a person. This makes her the exception, because he knows that black girls aren’t really people. Then these two kids get older and go to school, and while there, instead of realizing that black people are in fact people, the boy digs even more into the racism he was taught. He even joins the junior kkk group at their school! He actively conspires to commit hate crimes, and this continues until he is more than old enough to realize it is wrong. He still sees the girl as the exception to the rule though, by virtue of the fact that she is associated with him. She is his, and that is what makes her different from all the other black kids. The girl hates what she sees in her best friend, but she holds out hope that he could change, despite all her friends constantly reminding her that he’s bad news and he’ll never change. Then one day they fight, he calls her a slur, and she realizes it’s time to let him go. He’s just a racist, and that’s that.

Then, after they leave school, the guy graduates from junior kkk to regular kkk, where he routinely commits hate crimes along with a bunch of other horrible racist dudes. He tries to make sure the girl won’t be targeted, not because she’s a person who deserves to live, but because he still sees her as the one that got away. He still thinks he deserves to have her, and he doesn’t care if her husband and child die, so long as she’s left alive afterward for him to have. Then she dies anyway, and he vows revenge on the members of his little group that did it. He leaves the kkk, not because he has realized that it is wrong, but because they destroyed something of his and so they have to pay.

People act like snape switching sides was a nod to his shifting moralities, like that’s what makes him “actually kind of a good guy, when you really think about it”. He didn’t leave the death eaters because he disagreed with their mission, he left because he wanted revenge for the hurt they caused him. If any of his anger had actually been about Lilly, he would have done everything in his power to take care of Harry once he came to Hogwarts (and no, keeping him barely alive out of a duty to Dumbledore while actively participating in Harry’s abuse in regular day-to-day life does NOT count as taking care of him).

Even if we completely disregard all of the shit with Lilly and the marauders, if we look at snape through the lens of a regular teacher, he’s still a horrible person. He abuses his students for gods sake! That is not and will never be “morally gray”. He is a child abuser, period. He is evil.

People also like to say that his patronus shifting to be the same as Lilly’s is somehow proof that he really loved her, and I just don’t see how that argument can even seriously be made. It proves he wants her, it proves he’s still hung up on her, sure. But you don’t need to love someone or something to just really want them. Honestly, it always seemed to me that it was a sign he was still obsessed with her, still hanging onto his bitterness at “losing” to James. He’s just a pathetic man still living his highschool rivalries through a child who has done nothing to him and didn’t ask to be part of this ridiculous “feud”.

Snape isn’t a case of moral ambiguity. He isn’t a case of a tragically misunderstood antihero. He isn’t a case of “doing the right things for the wrong reasons”. He doesn’t even do the right things at all. Snape is a bad person, plain and simple. He’s not someone you should sympathize with or make excuses for just because “but he really misses the girl he had a crush on in school 🥺”.

In conclusion: Snape didn’t love Lilly, he though he owned her. He is not morally gray in any sense of the term.

I also have SO much I could say about fucking Dumbledore and how telling it is that JKR genuinely tried to present him as a good person (also snape too in that regard) but that’s a whole other post.

[aegisheart]

✧ ; Dimitri.

i  will  ,  at  some  point  ,  get  into  this  LATER  ,  but  for  now  ,  i  have  found  this  in  a  discussion  that  i  have  had  with  another  individual  who  writes  &  draws  EXCESSIVELY  about  the  subject  of  dimitri  ,  felix  ,  SEPARATELY  ,  &  of  their  relationship  together  .  i  will  ,  again  ,  at  some  point  ,  discuss  this  in  more  detail  ,  but  for  now  ,  have  this  explanation  . 

❛❛ Ughhhh I'm so tired.. I see this so often. There is already an issue of western culture vs JP culture and us basically viewing everything through a western lens that's a problem when we interact with Japanese media

As for Felix, he was fifteen years old when he saw his best friend brutally slaughter a bunch of people. And what's worse is he saw him ENJOY it and that's fucking scary. It's scary. It's terrifying. He said Dimitri's face looked like all the world's evil was in it. And I can't imagine imagine how traumatizing that is for a young boy who can't even process his own trauma

To witness, and think about years later

He has no idea what Dimitri is going through, no idea of his own mental struggles because he sees Dimitri and he sees him ACTING FINE, AND ADULTS AROUND HIM ACTING FINE even though Felix knows, he knows something is wrong he just doesn't know what it is. I don't think he is aware of Dimitri's psychosis, or if he is he doesn't understand what that means. He calls him boar because of Dimitri's VIOLENCE. his bloodlust. He calls him an animal because he didn't witness a human being that day at fifteen years old, no. He thought he saw his best friend become a monster

Is boar dehumanizing? Yes. It's also coming from a fucking seventeen year old boy

Yes he uses it again as an adult because again he is still processing Dimitri's violence and - and it's gotten worse. He sees Dimitri as having lost his last bit of humanity after being missing for five years

And now he sees him using dead people's wishes to excuse what he is doing

And he's like what the fuck is happening now  ❜❜

as i , GHOST , have said before , people often don’t realise how old these people are when things are FIRST happening to them . to be 15 , a MINOR , & NEVER once had any education or understanding about mental health given what kind of time period this is in , its TERRIFYING to witness your BEST FRIEND killing people . & enjoying it . do not tell me that you , at the age of 15 , would be okay with your friend doing that , even if it is for the sake of defending your country . that’s terrifying , there is a REASON why people coming back from the war having PTSD . 

there is also plenty of resources & documents that explain PTSD & offer an understanding in it . one simply has to look , I am merely just letting people know that there is a REASON why felix calls dimitri a boar . & as this individual explained it . it has nothing to do with whether or not felix hates dimitri . felix doesn’t hate dimitri , he’s jsut TERRIFIED of dimitri . he doesn’t understand what is happening and as a DEFENSE mechanism , he lashes out . 

felix is a DEFENSIVE person . its how he grieves . you get that exact backstory when you find out what he does when his brother dies . he simply CUTS people out . he casts them away because that’s what he does . its bad behaviour . he self isolates - that is HORRIBLE - but he doesn’t know how to find a safe space because the people he was CLOSEST to are either dead , or have changed . 

he’s scared . & like an injured predator , he lashes out . 

also , one last thing this person has also said months later :

❛❛ 'Inoshishi' or wild boar are respected, and even feared in Japan because of their courage and their tendency to charge and attack. Wild boar are the symbols also of recklessness, fertility and prosperity.  ❜❜

[princessofgayskull]

Hi sunflower, what's your thoughts on T Swift's Betty being a catradora song???

Me, taking a break from spop to focus on my mental health and setting better boundaries:

Me, reading this ask:

This ask woke me up from like a deep, sleeping beauty type slumber, not joking. I don’t get asked to talk about Taylor Swift often, despite being a fan of hers since I was nine years old (I’m 22 now *wink*) and we are about to find out why. But I pride myself on taking any fiction piece of media I interact with and connecting it somehow to Taylor Swift. I can do so to varying degrees of success (usually depends on the ships and romance of the world) but there are so many songs of Taylor’s that have just fit Catradora so well for me, both in and out of canon. 

Some of my favorite examples: out of the woods (AND IT KEPT ME UP AT NIGHT WHEN NOELLE SAID THIS WAS HER TAYLOR SWIFT SONG FOR CATRADORA LIKE GAH CASUAL TS LISTENERS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND) bad blood, lwymd, don’t blame, dancing with our hands tied, the archer, breathe, you’re not sorry, the way I loved you, forever & always, should’ve said no, safe & sound- I could go on.

But I won’t because I wanna stay on topic and talk about betty. Now I have a number of songs from the folklore/evermore series that are for me catradora songs (we’ll get to that in a minute) but this one is… challenging. Because I could be like “yes, because [insert casual reason here]” or “no, because [insert casual reason here]” but I can’t because Taylor feeds her children well and there’s several aspects of this song I feel like should be considered.

This biggest one to be considered, for me, is the love triangle aspect. Folklore features at length the betty/james/Augustine love triangle, each of them having one main song on the album from their POV. Betty's is cardigan, augustine’s is august, and james’ is betty. (also I’m going to throw out the gender component for a second; I know taylor says that Betty is about a guy’s apology and I totally vibe with her reasons why she wanted to write a song about a boy apologizing BECAUSE HOW GREAT WOULD THAT BE?) The love triangle makes the application of Catradora iffy at best. Because it’s like, who would be who? I am going to go out on a limb and assume that you’re seeing Catra as James? I think that personality wise, Adora as Betty and Catra as James is not a stone’s throw away from fitting actually really well. Adora’s canon journey is one of coming to realize “I know what I want and I know that it’s okay to want it” and a big part of Catra’s arc is her being like “Well shit… there goes my plans. Kind of feeling like a dumbass rn” especially in s4/s5. 

(That s4/s5 distinction is important; I’ll show why in a second) 

But for me, there’s no augustine. Or one that’s obvious anyway. I never imagined that either Catra or Adora dated or even had any inclinations with anyone else during the five season run- that’s just my personal opinion, people are completely welcome to feel free to disagree. I don’t think Catra acted even out of distraction with Scorpia or DT, and I think Adora was so focused on being She Ra that when she wasn’t thinking about failing/abandoning Catra when she alloted time to do so, she was thinking about the crushing weight of her responsibilities. So you know, not that much time to get back out there. So I rule out what causes James to apologize in the first place- cheating.

Side note about James cheating- I’m pretty sure Taylor confirmed this, in the long pond studio sessions doc, when she’s telling Jack Antonoff (MY BOY JACK) and Aaron Dessner ( GRAMMY AWARD WINNING KING) that James “was a fool!” And James did sleep with Augustine as confirmed in august, but cardigan makes it seem like he was definitely dating Betty before the summer. Maybe Taylor took inspiration from friends and they “were on break.” I also believe that the kiss in the Heart is the first kiss, that Catra and Adora were never ‘together’ together before Adora found the sword and defected (again, that’s just an opinion, but Adora just looks so wonderfully gobsmacked), so…

We can rule out cheating, and I think we can accomplish this and still reserve the essential meaning of the song of “I did something wrong, I see that now, I apologize for doing it, and I still love you” by widening the lens of what the “did something wrong” was (or “did something bad” you know *wink*). In that wider lens really you could fit either Catra or Adora into the song, but I’m still going to assume Catra is the James in this scenario based on how much of her redemption arc is formed around her refusal to say sorry and then eventually doing so. Of course there is no standing your porchlight but rather standing while wrestling a bunch of murderous clones…. Hmm….

But there are some stupid friends! I wholeheartedly believe Catra is James because of the dissing of Betty’s friends. That’s what Catra does to Bow, Glimmer and the rebellion et al., for most of the show and by the end of s4 she has no friends for Adora to even mock (terrible and cruel of me, I know, but it’s true). Also I know people are like “he called her friends stupid and then expected betty to take him back?” but I scream sing the line “WILL YOU KISS ME ON THE PORCH IN FRONT OF ALL YOUR STUPID FRIENDS?” every time. It brings me serotonin. 

Along those lines we can ask “Who’s Inez?” in this situation. When I think gossip no one from the show really comes to mind, well, expect for Double Trouble. But Double Trouble doesn’t ever speak to Adora about Catra. This happens vice-versa, and in Betty, James reveals that Inez told Betty he cheated on her. 

I want to say something controversial… Glimmer comes to mind when I think “who’s the Inez?” And this is based off of two things: 1) Inez’s closeness to Betty, and 2) Inez drags James out to dry, rightfully so. And when I think of that I think of Glimmer screaming “Do one good thing in your life!” directly in Catra’s face. James gives Inez a bad wrap in Betty. Not cool James. 

Of course there’s the pivotal, “would you tell me to go fuck myself?/ or lead me to the garden?” To me this a fun way of showing there’s vulnerability to what James is doing, so automatically I’m led to is the scene where Catra asks Adora to stay, or each time in s5 when Catra risks, basically an identity crisis to let Adora in how she really feels, but there’s always the potential that Adora could spurn her by not returning her feelings or rejecting her outright. 

I think the best argument that can be made for “is betty a catradora song” can really be encapsulated by the lyric(s): “the worst thing that I ever did is what I did to you” and “the only thing I wanna do is make it up to you.” That is what about the song SCREAMS Catra to me. And yeah, it could be argued that Adora hurt Catra pretty brutally (Shadow Weaver makes that point EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO) that she messed up by abandoning Catra- but Adora feels guilt for... literally breathing. Adora is the quintessential embodiment of “pick your battles, no that’s too many battles, put some back,” but Catra picked one battle first and foremost (yes, she had a few others but this was the one) and that was Adora. Everything that motivated her was surrounded around a narrative of surpassing Adora for a multitude of reasons, and because of that she pretty much hurts Adora every chance she gets after Promise. Adora is really Catra’s first casualty, it makes sense that she has to be her first apology. And I think that after being vibed checked back to back by DT and Glimmer and realizing “oh hey fuck, I’m still in love with her” and then almost dying just to not die because Adora saves her, I think much of Catra’s motivation shifts to “how to do I get Adora to want to stay?” 

That’s my logic for how Betty could be a catradora song in canon. Now not all of my Taylor associations are with canon catradora, many of them do belong to uws catradora, because it’s a lot easier to apply the more modern details of Taylor’s songs to a modern au. The song Breathe is big that way. (it’s in Upper West Side, it’s the song Adora listens to and cries to after that first ride, I just never mentioned that it was taylor because my conditioned reaction to bringing up taylor is to have my head bit off with someone’s semi incorrect and slightly sexist opinion that I never, ever ask for) And this ask got me thinking about what it would look like if I applied not Catradora to Betty, but Betty to Catradora. What would it look like if Catra skateboarded and wore black lipstick, Adora wore a cardigan and they had homeroom together until Catra really messed up? What would it look like if they were seventeen when they admitted their feelings for each other instead of 21? What would it look like if they spent a summer fighting but dreaming of each other? What would their love story look like if Catra and Adora were in that town where Taylor envisioned this “same event that affected three people in different ways?”

I think it’d look something like this. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31141973/chapters/76952048

what do you guys think?

quick but INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT thank you to @gimme-tea-bitch for helping me with this, being my beta, and listening to me talk about folklore/evermore.

[thejudgingtrash]

Annabeth is a good person,but not a nice or pleasant one,IMO.

YES.

That’s it. That’s the post. Pack it up everybody, we just cracked the case and cleared up one of the most compelling fights in the PJO fandom since forever. Good job everybody, clap it out and there’s the door! Don’t forget ordering the drinks at Starbucks, Mitch! They’re on me!

Okay, but on a more serious note: YES. YES EXACTLY.

And before some of you roll your eyes or grab your pitchforks – put your biases aside and hear me out for once. I like Annabeth. She’s my in my top three characters only second to Percy himself. I love Percabeth. It’s my favorite ship in the entire series and to be frank, the only ship that I care about PJO wise. Hell, I spend my time creating my own headcanons or writing my own fanfics with Percabeth being the star in them.

But that is not to say that I’m unable to see how certain things have developed over the years or where they stand now in regard to Annabeth. I’m not here to ignore things that have been said and/or done due to or in the name of Annabeth and I’m not here to vilify anyone that doesn’t like her. And I’m here to admit that I’m guilty of some of the things that may be addressed in this meta essay that you will read in just a second. However, I try my best to assure you, that I’m for once able to recognize my own bias.

Warning: a monster essay lies right upon you.

This should count as a paper of its own.

Back to the statement on top: I would go out even further to reframe your claim, anon:

Annabeth Chase is a good character but not a nice or pleasant person.

Annabeth is a wonderful character but she isn’t a nice one. Or at least not nice to everyone. She is (construction wise if I dare say) the best character out of the series. She has her positive traits (she’s caring, she’s emotional, she’s encouraged and volunteers, she fights for what she believes in, she forgives (even if doing so begrudgingly)) but she also has her negative traits (she’s stubborn, she’s brash, changing her mind takes forever, she is prejudiced, she baits others). That balances things out. She is branded as the intelligent kid but does irrational things (like I’ve just said a) she’s a kid and b) she’s not a robot). She should probably know better, but we all make mistakes and hopefully grow and learn from them. The clouds in the sky do blur and cover our visions sometimes.

Annabeth had clashes with other characters or was about to have fights due to her stubbornness or jealousy (Rachel, Reyna, etc.) and has of course her problems with the mortal world and her family but she also found new friends, some things cleared up throughout the narration and she was/is quite popular in Camp Half-Blood.

The thing is: she doesn’t have to be nice or pleasant (as a character). Or at least not all the time. Her character is humanized. That is what or who she is. Human. She does stand out as a character, not just because she’s the (future) love interest. She feels like someone you could meet in real life and either adore from the top to the bottom or declare as your biggest enemy. And that’s totally okay if you lean either way – liking or disliking her. Or even feeling indifferent about her. Also great!

To say that she has been the best character that Riordan has crafted is easy to say, because she has been sculpted after Riordan’s wife. He had a model he could rub some of real-life events or traits on. That’s not the problem. The problem truly doesn’t lie on Riordan’s side for the most part for once.

The problem is inherently on the fandom’s side. What the fandom does, how it acts and how it treats Annabeth as a character is the problem. The problems vary but it’s mostly the mischaracterization of Annabeth, starting fights and fan/ship wars, internalized misogyny (in some cases) and how some of the Annabeth stans lash out (ha, got firsthand experience in that field among many of my friends and mutuals!). There is a reason why many people are wary of people that have Annabeth or Percabeth related URLs.

The fact that we see Annabeth mostly through Percy’s lens and (until the Heroes of Olympus saga hits) we never really see her in chill everyday situations is essentially Riordan leaving the back door of the house open, ready for all of you asshats to rob his mansion in Boston. Because a frame on a character means that we don’t get to see the character in its entirety (unlike we do with Percy in PJO for the most part). That means a bunch of stuff is left open for interpretation which is the reason why Annabeth gets so many polarized headcanon and opinions tossed around. I think that is one of the true appeals of Annabeth. You can add on stuff and it necessarily doesn’t have to contradict itself.

We have people calling her abusive due to a (n admittedly stupid and unnecessary) judo flip and we have people that act like she’s never done anything wrong. People sorta use this excuse to form and shape Annabeth however they want and distort her characterization.

People in the fandom act like Annabeth is some weird prized possession. We perceive Annabeth mostly through the eyes of others (Percy, Apollo, etc.) and when we had some sort of insight in her ways (MOA, HOH) it felt… weird? Somewhat? Like Riordan left two bullet points of her characterization and told the ghostwriter: aight, fuck it up, gringo, see you on Tuesday and greet Fred the next time you see him for me. 

There have been many posts lately (by Tharini, Simi, Sawasawako, Jewishpercy and Annie I believe?) that HOO Percabeth felt weird. That they felt weirdly constructed, that there was no conflict, no growth. It felt stagnating, like we’re turning back. We had five books prior where we had Annabeth and Percy slowly shifting from disliking to liking and crushing each other. True development. And when we finally got the cake it felt… dissatisfying. Like the cheap box stuff and not the delicious exquisite taste that we were promised.

I said it previously in my Percabeth ship roast, but let me repeat myself: many Percabeth related things are straight up fanon. Some of it is very old fanon so that’s been unable to distinguish unless you’ve read the books recently and subtract nearly 99,9% of things you see on Tumblr (and occasionally the other shitty parts of the fandom like Reddit, IG, Twitter. Although they mostly steal and recycle tumblr stuff oh well. But back to the topic).

The way people treat Annabeth is so strange. She’s either an innocent fluffy smush baby that’s never harmed a fly and all that she wants for Christmas is being Percy’s lapdog or she’s the devil incarnate, broke into your house, killed your parents Batman style, kicked your puppy and didn’t flush the toilet on the way out. I think this is what mostly makes people hate her or the ship Percabeth. And both extremes are wrong and right at the same time? She is multifaceted so both stereotypes are true and untrue and sorta cancel each other out in the same way.

The true reason why people dislike Annabeth is because the stans are doing the most. (The haters as well, don’t get me wrong, but oh boy. Piss of a stan and you’ll know what I mean). That isn’t inherently new. Are you guys old enough to remember the ship wars that have happened cross platform? Perachel vs. Percabeth? Oh boy, oh boy. I saw some kids on tumblr a few months ago trying to infiltrate both tags and start shit (and also fail). The fact that Rachel still gets used as the bitchy (ex) girlfriend in fanfics? It’s 2020 guys. I know this apocalyptic year is far from perfect and over but I think we can let this trope die, right? Right? I thought we’ve established that Rachel is a pretty chill charcter by now… right?

If you posted your stuff on FFN back in 2010-2013 and it wasn’t the typical cutesy Percabeth story (Goode High, the gods read TLT, punk/prep Percabeth, college AU, etc.) people would’ve come for your fucking throat. Not because the story or the narration was shit. But because the pairing wasn’t Annabeth and Percy (in the sense that Annabeth had to be paired with Percy. I mean Percy gets shipped with everyone and their mother but for Annabeth it was strictly Percy. As annoying as this whole Connabeth thing is – the people behind it actually had a point. She never had a different love interest unless it’s a Percy centered story and he goes off dating Athena, Artemis and Zoe at the same time for some odd reason. Yeah, FFN Percy ships are something). Or it wasn’t the action filled canon compliant story or it wasn’t an AU that was popular.

People were really stubborn, snobbish and wanted their stuff in the four five boxes that were the most popular ones and that’s it. People have been bullied off the site in many fandoms, so it’s not a PJO-only thing but it’s still sad that it happened. (Off-note: most of these FFN tropes are still alive and well and thriving on AO3. Don’t be so snobbish and pretend that every piece you’d find there is a holy grail. There’s a lot of trash you have to waddle through. Same with Wattpad, Tumblr or anywhere else where fanfics get posted. Also had this discussion with Annabeth stans. Sigh).

And Tumblr back then? Forget it, wasn’t much better.

That view has sorta changed (at least for people that have been in the fandom for several years or have managed to find a way to navigate through it) but some of the negative sentiment from back in the day has survived. Be it by new fans coming in or from old fans that never let their stance die. The aggression feels differently and somewhat not. (I don’t know if the anon function had been abused that much back in the day. I was an observer not a participant in the fandom).

Crack a joke at Annabeth’s expense (Kal’s famous “Annabeth is a Republican” post or Dee Dee’s and many others “Annabeth has the education of a second grader, chill with the college plans, girlie” stance) and you have people insulting you, making callout posts, unfollowing and blocking you (based on only that? Okay, honey), making aggressive counter-posts, etc. in a minute. If you respond with “It’s a joke, it’s not real” you have a 50/50 chance of either getting blown off or embarrassing them so that they apologize for once.

This isn’t just about jokes. You can make a headcanon that’s not the cozy cute convenient mainstream saga and people would react the same way. Or art piece (no, not including the whole Tannabeth Blackchase shtick done by Viria and others) or fanfics.

People project so much onto the unfinished canvas that is Annabeth Chase that any form of negative sentiment as little as someone not liking her to straight up criticism, regardless of how tiny it may be, seems like an affront. Like an invitation to a fight. Like an insult to them, their character, everything they believe in. Let me state something:

You are NOT Annabeth Chase. Annabeth Chase IS NOT you. Annabeth Chase is NOT real. Her feeling cannot be hurt. Someone criticizing, disliking, joking about her or even insulting her will not bother her. Someone making a statement about her is not an insult to YOU.

Let me repeat that:

Annabeth Chase isn’t real. Annabeth Chase isn’t you.

So think a little before you act? I get it when you’re a kid and new to fandoms or haven’t been up with fan cultures in the past and are back in the scene. But if you’re in your late teens or even older as an adult and you’re unable to understand that you aren’t what you like – you aren’t the extension of a fictional character – I feel incredibly sorry for you. Because that’s just incredibly sad. Someone disliking something you like isn’t an attack of your character. It shows you that you are you and the other person is a human just like you. That they just have different taste. Disliking something you like isn’t a crime, you know? But me feeling sorry for the way some of y’all act won’t mean that that’s even remotely okay. Especially if you’re no longer in the intended audience for PJO age wise and should know better.

This isn’t a “white stans” only thing. I’ve seen and witnessed firsthand how people of color, mainly women of color, act the same or not even worse when it comes to her character. People have projected their problems and real-life occurring events into her character (I’m sure that she isn’t the only character nor that this is the only fandom where this is happening) and in some cases like I’ve said cannot separate their own personality from the fictional world. Fights with woc happened because of Annabeth fucking Chase. So many things have happened in the fandom the past few months, mostly due to people being forced staying at home because of the quarantine but I’d say it’s 10% on quarantine and 90% on people for acting up like this.

So here’s a little story: There was the act of Riordan blowing the fandom up because of his own stupidity and being unable to apologize for his mischaracterization and lack of research (the whole Piper fiasco) back in June (?) and admits the upset fandom, people on Twitter, Tumblr and Discord legit thought that none of that mattered and that the outcry was destroying Annabeth Chase’s birthday. That’s right. People thought that Annabeth Chase’s non-existing birthday because she’s a fictional character had a higher priority than the rupture and prevalent racism in the fandom. Okay. This isn’t a great look, Annabeth stans. And this of course pissed a lot of people off. I made a post about it and someone not only berated three other people on said post but no, we had a mighty argument which had disrupted many friendships in our circle which haven’t recovered until this very day. We both had our parts in it and no one is innocent. But the cause of this still remains Annabeth Chase or how people prioritize her non-existing well-being. Anyway. I’m getting agitated just thinking about it.

Let’s go back to the characterization thing with Annabeth. Let me remind you:

Annabeth Chase is an asshole. There I’ve said it in a post ages ago (too lazy to look it up, sorry) and I’ll say it again. And that’s not me insulting her. That’s me actually loving that about her. Annabeth is one of the very few unapologetic female characters that really showed all young readers across the world that you can be a girl, a badass, smart, strong, standing up for yourself and what you believe in. You don’t have to be nice. You don’t have to hide your feelings. You don’t need a man in all cases but it’s also okay to accept help and defeat.

A large reason why I think she’s an incredibly important character in children’s literature/YA because many other novels (mostly (sadly)) have the “Oh, I’m a white skinny dark-haired girl that likes unconventional things like READING. I’m not like the other girls, that take care of themselves and pamper themselves by enjoying shopping and wearing make-up. No, I’d rather be one of the boys but a sweet cute little boy and not the jock fuck that drank vodka shots out of a filthy shoe once. Despite me calling myself hideous every man in a 10-kilometer radius falls in love with me and tells me I’m oh so sexy and by the way I’m only 16 years old” shit going on for no goddamn reason.

Yes, I do blame Twilight for this mostly in recent years, but this trope isn’t by any means knew. Pretty sure that you could even use classics as Pride and Prejudice and dissect them in the same manner (Bold statement: Lizzy Bennet is the OG Bella Swan. There. Go fight somewhere in the corner, people). The new wave of YA focuses on girls belittling themselves and only starting to believe in themselves because someone else (mostly the male love interest) tells them they’re worth it. And these books hit the mainstream because they’re incredibly bland and picture perfect white.

With Annabeth it’s different. She shows up for the job and is done with it. (Brie Larson would probably be the perfect in real life version of her. You either like or dislike her. Or you really don’t care). That is what is so refreshing about her. Her unapologetic nature. Can it be off-putting? Yes. Is it annoying? Yes! Hell, every time I read The Lightning Thief, I want to rip her goddamn head off. And it’s just so well written. Her shift from mistrusting Percy but secretly still believing in him to her opening up. Wow, Riordan did something right there.

Annabeth Chase isn’t a young character. She has existed along with PJO for 15 years. She’s on her way to the second decade. I’m pretty sure that with the success of Percy Jackson (and Harry Potter) many lives have been warped and shaped.

But when I say the problem lies mostly in the fandom, it doesn’t mean that Riordan’s completely innocent. The only problem that I have with Annabeth lies not truly with her but the fact that Riordan is only able to produce three variations of female characters:

The sweetheart (Hazel, Silena, Calypso, Hestia)

The strong feminist (Annabeth, Piper, Thalia, Reyna, Artemis)

The bitch (Drew, nearly every female goddess in the goddamn Riordanverse next to every female monster)

And these female characters only know three endings:

End up married with a mortgage, three kids, two dogs and a cat somewhere in Connecticut by the age of twelve

Get dumped into the hunt

Chill on Mount Olympus and only come down to be a nuisance and/or give a cryptic message before going back and doing a godly rave party or something

We know Annabeth as the badass strong female first (or the bitchy character we’re supposed to actually like. Choose your approach), the blueprint so to speak, so some of the other characters feel almost pale in comparison and almost not needed? Doesn’t mean that other characters can’t behave similarly, but it feels kind of redundant especially if their character arcs end in a rather anticlimactic way (Thalia, Reyna). The new additions are the much needed woc as the main story with PJO was inherently white (anyway stan black!Percy and Grover, folks). So it’s not to bash on the new characters, it’s more Riordan’s fault more than anything.

Since Riordan only knows three female character arcs it feels like he tried to copy the formula several ways with different nuances. Some more or less successful. This is where fandom actually comes in handy and helps create more distinguished and fleshed out characters in form of headcanons or fanfiction.

But even in these cases people still make it about Annabeth when it’s time for characters of colors to shine. Remember that whole spiel and discussion that broke out when people (Kal, diver-up, Caitlyn, Bee, reynaisalesbian, etc.) joked about or criticized that Annabeth thinks that she’s having it harder because she’s a blonde? In front of Hazel and Piper? If she would’ve been a real person that’s an invitation for getting decked. And then all hell broke loose because Annabeth stans couldn’t accept the fact that in the real world and/or in fictional worlds the woc/coc have it harder? That the white woman wasn’t the victim that needed the coddling? Yeah, that was mad pathetic.

I hope you people get my point?

Well fuck. I wrote so many things and have the feeling I’ve said nothing. Anyway, I hope I made sense. This is way too long.

TLDR: Chill about Annabeth please. She’s an important character but that doesn’t mean that everyone has to like her, regardless of being a character in the books or a reader/fan of PJO in real life. She isn’t nice or a sweetheart all the time. She also isn’t the monstrous asshole that some try to make out of her.

Peace out.

[joezworld]

📁

Specifically, any headcanons of the Sodor Engines interacting with the internet, or the internet in general?

For some reason, I’d imagine that podcasts and the like are popular among vehicles in general.

That is a question that I've been working on for some time - because I'm workshopping my own Tornado headcanon (and boy oh boy does she use the internet a lot) - but I have some ideas for the Sodor engines as well: 

Henry is probably the most "plugged in" engine on the island, weirdly enough. One of his drivers gave him an iPod back in the early 2000s, and kindly preloaded it with a bunch of torrented music.

 BTW, that works because all the engines are now equipped with automatic train warning systems, and the little on-board computer has a USB port - as a nice side effect it allows music players to work with the engines in the same way as bone-conducting headphones do. The computer also acts as some kind of computer interface, which I am not going to explain how that works because Jesus Christ I don’t know how it does either.  

 Henry has managed to upgrade his iPod a few times since thanks to hand-me-down units from NWR staff, so he eventually got his buffers on a wifi-enabled iPod Touch and now downloads new music from the station wifi. He does listen to podcasts, but as every other engine will tell you, you could show Henry ten thousand new and exciting songs from the best artists in the world, and his top ten played songs are still going to be Genesis, Phil Collins, and Yes. Bear considers it a win that he managed to convince Henry to regularly listen to Rush after a mere twenty years of convincing. 

 Mavis and Daisy listen to a very interesting program called The News, because as stated elsewhere, they invest a shitload of money and need to be on top of things. Thomas and Percy wish that Daisy would use headphones or something similar to that, instead of listening to Bloomberg TV at loud volumes in the middle of the night. Toby frankly doesn’t mind, as it’s very nice to be kept up-to-date on the outside world.  

In a move that surprises no-one, Bill and Ben have a podcast where they talk about whatever they think about at that moment - usually horse-racing, investing, and clay mining. As such, they have a wide audience, almost none of whom know that they’re that Bill and Ben, as their podcast is audio-only.  

 In an also unsurprising move, Edward and BoCo have been made very much aware that Bill and Ben have a podcast, but are still unsure as to what the hell a podcast is, despite being frequent guests on it.  

Of the main line diesels, only Bear has shown any real interest in the internet, and was immediately put in charge of the Amazon Alexa when a unit was installed in the diesel shed. He also has an iPod that he got for Christmas a few years back. (The NWR has a very good personal  electronics recycling program called give it to Henry, he’ll make use it.)  

Bear does listen to podcasts as well as music, but his choices are so insufferably boring that even Henry refuses to listen to them. (I don’t really listen to podcasts - despite making one - so insert the most boring podcast you can think of here.) 

 As for other internet uses... 

Gordon is very up-to-date on the newest social media trends - somehow - but only really cares when he is involved. He won’t admit it, but he’s been trying to figure out how to work a camera/selfie stick for some time so he can start up his own Instagram account. So far he has been unsuccessful, but one day he will manage it. 

 James has had an ongoing feud with his own Wikipedia page for about a decade now. The article sourced most of its information about his construction off of some out-of-print book about the L&Y. The book in question is accurate about James’ class, but not James himself - as he was a prototype engine. There’s no other primary sources available, so the very dedicated Wikipedia mod who created the page won’t change it - no matter how much James complains that he was there! He knows what happened! 

Every now and again a TTTE fan blog/tumblr will make a post about hypothetical “ships” of the Sodor engines. Most of the time it’s shipping the core characters like Gordon and Henry, much to Gordon’s bafflement and Henry’s amusement! 

Only one blog (a ttte fan tumblr by the curious name of @mean-scarlet-deceiver  ) has gotten it right. Henry actually reached out to congratulate this blogger, but was unfortunately mistaken for a very dedicated roleplay account.  

James is very annoyed by these blogs, as they have never once correctly guessed who he is “shipped” with! He has tried several times to be seen in public with Delta, but these events have never gone as planned - the “best” instance is when Edward rolled by at exactly the wrong moment, leading to months of speculation that JamesxEdward was the ship to look out for! 

Thomas, being a generally oblivious sort of engine, was totally unaware of the online fan community around the TV show until he started getting actively harassed by vloggers and Instagrammers in the early 2010s. He’s fine with it now, but it was a deeply unusual experience for most of 2012.  

Toby has developed an unexpectedly popular following on social media following his collab with Stormzy. His official twitter is huge now, with over a million followers, even if he has no idea what to do with it. He posts rarely, but usually manages to make an incredible post when he does.

No-one is sure who told Oliver what a “fan-production” is, but if you manage to get ahold of him for any period of time and ask him nicely, he will lend his voice to your TTTE fan-project, so long as it isn’t about [INSERT TERRIBLE SOCIAL/POLITICAL VIEW(S) HERE]. This means that he has 100% voiced dramatic readings of NSFW Fanfics before, which is always an absolute riot to spring on people unannounced.

There is a series of slice-of-life TTTE fanfics on Ao3 that have been written with such accuracy and innate railway knowledge that people are sure it was written by a Sodor engine, but nobody knows which one.

The Culdee Fell Railway has very active Instagram, Twitter and YouTube accounts, with all of the engines and coaches showing up regularly. It’s about the closest any of the railways on Sodor have come to what those outside the UK would call “normal locomotive social media”.

The Skarloey Railway has social media accounts too, but they don’t really feature the engines in any meaningful way, instead being used as a normal service announcements page.  

 The SR is a real working railway that doesn’t rely on tourism money as much as the others do, so they get a bit of a pass here.  

 The Arlesdale Railway has Twitter and YouTube, which didn’t usually get a lot of hits until 2020, when Ivan and Amanda Farrier started badgering the staff to make some videos just to alleviate some boredom. So far the most popular videos on the channel are a front-mounted camera video of the entire line slow-tv style, Bert explaining how steam engines work, and a video of Mike complaining about Justin Bieber for a solid half-hour.  

 That’s about it as far as Sodor goes, but before we’re done, I want to take a moment to talk about Tornado, because I have some fun ideas for her... 

First of all, we need to establish that Tornado is very young. Her construction only started in late 90′s, and she was steamed to life in 2000, putting her firmly into the “Zoomer” category. Add in the fact that she was built by a bunch of old men who didn’t really know how to treat a new engine, and she was raised much more like a human than a locomotive - I’ll get to this much more in the proper Tornado Headcanon post, but what this means here is that when social media started being a thing in the mid-to-late 2000′s, the people at the A1 Trust decided that they needed a young person to run things like Twitter, Facebook, and Myspace... and, well, Tornado was the youngest person in the trust by a large margin.

I should state here that in the rest of the world, locomotives are on the internet at roughly the same level as humans are, so there’s plenty of equipment to connect a phone/computer/camera to an engine - being English, the A1 Trust didn’t know how common it was, but they managed to get it up and running just the same.

 So Tornado has very quickly become attuned to the internet, just like any other teenager would. (yes, let’s let that settle into our minds for a moment - Tornado is barely old enough to drink in the US!) Quite naturally that means that she knows social media inside and out, and is actually quite a proficient social media manager for the trust, managing all of their social pages. More than one person who has complained about the trust on twitter has unknowingly been complaining to Tornado herself! 

 “On the internet, nobody knows that you’re a dog Engine”. 

 Tornado has her own personal social media accounts too, but most/all of the time she gets mistaken for a very dedicated role-player, as the general perception of British Locomotives is that they don’t tweet. This has resulted in some amazing reactions from podcast hosts (because, as you might expect, Tornado is very knowledgeable about steam traction in the 21st century, and tweets about it often, so train podcasts want to talk to her) when she gets invited onto video calls, turns on her webcam, and is met with screams from people who suddenly realize that her profile picture is accurate.  

 By far the best instance of this is when she was invited onto a video call with a railfan podcast. She was at the NRM at the time and managed to convince them to let her use their Skype setup. A wide-angle lens was needed because she was on the turntable in the Great Hall, so that podcast quickly got sidetracked when her webcam was turned on and revealed Tornado, with Mallard, Evening Star, City of Truro, and Green Arrow visible behind her. Whatever the original topic was quickly got thrown out in favor of a 2-hour Q&A with some of the most famous engines in the UK. 

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

2. twisted

The cartoon that came out of the machine was pretty as a picture, perfect in almost every detail, and had a bubbly, positive personality. But she was not what Joey had wanted Susie to become. (Set in an AU where Joey gets perfect toons from his freshly killed employees and STILL isn’t happy, the unpleasable bitch…)

“Progress report to GENT home office, Client; Joey Drew Studios.

With the addition of the new ink recipe to use in the machine, we have made an unbelievable leap in progress and have almost met our client’s expectations. What had started as a machine to mold life sized figures out of ink has now done things that border on being supernatural.

Although Mr. Drew seems unimpressed, even frustrated with the results at times, in spite of the fact that the models have come out identical to their cartoon counterparts.

The process of running the cartoon film through the machine for the figures to imprint on has been successful, but it looks like that unless someone goes through the trouble of making a short that only has ONE character in it, the machine picks what character it makes at seemingly random. That is our client’s complaint; that instead of being user chosen, the machine picks out which living, breathing, thinking ink models it makes at random. Upon working on this, if I were to be in the client’s shoes, I’d have several valid complaints regarding the machine and the models it created, but our client’s complaint… Is that the machine that doesn’t have a system that allows the user to pick and choose which model it makes yet creates a physically flawless model every single time, does not allow the user to pick and choose which model it makes. He never ceases to infuriate me.

On a sour note, there was an incident with the figure in the likeness of a character called ‘The Brute’. Upon its creation, it immediately went and broke our client’s leg in a very… well, brutal fashion too. But fortunately, it has not physically attacked anyone since The Cameraman figure was made as we have threatened to separate them if it keeps up that behavior. It still likes to insult people, and it still does things that unnerve me though. We’re hoping that the rest of the figures will be less violent and or creepy.”

Thomas clicked off the recording and sighed as he looked at the newly made report, there was no way he could submit this to his boss without someone sending in someone to make sure he wasn’t huffing in ink fumes and whatever the Studio workers smoked to consider any of this to be normal.

“Hey Tommy! I think I figured out the issue with the machine! Or rather, its fuel.”

The mechanic grit his teeth and turned to face his client.

“What? I wasn’t aware that there was a problem with it.”

“Why, Tommy, how could you forget? I’m talking about the figure deposit problem of course! Why did we get The Brute when we wanted to get Boris? Why did we get Cameraman when we wanted Bendy? The answer was so simple, why, it was even staring at us the entire time!”

“Uh huh…” Thomas did not look convinced. “And what was this issue?”

“The ingredients, the Ink of course! You simply can’t put blueberry pancake batter in an oven and be surprised when you get blueberry pancakes instead of blueberry muffins, We got those two knuckleheads before we got the real stars of the show because the souls used to make them weren’t fit to make those two, but the machine still did what it does best: made living cartoons.”

Tom had an uneasy feeling in his gut as Joey grabbed his arm and led him to the Ink Machine’s room. He felt like a sheep being led to the slaughterhouse, he KNEW what went down in there! He knew the other ingredients, not well, per say, but for long enough to judge them and their characters.

He didn’t shed a single tear when Sammy was used in it, in fact, he was rather pleased with the results before it started acting out like that. He and the music director were almost always at each other’s throats for one reason or another. If you asked him, the ex-musician was strange, rude, clearly mentally unstable, and sometimes even cruel. And even if he wasn’t, his physical health had declined so much over his time at the studio that it was obvious that he would die regardless of whether or not he was put in the machine. Feeding Sammy to that machine was an act of mercy, really, and even if it wasn’t, it served him right to become a- err, The Brute and have him put the former musician in his place- put his villainous ways to a decent cause. Now if only someone could ensure for a fact that The Brute would behave...

Now the other ingredient, Norman Polk, was a different story. The man was old, weird and kinda creepy. On the surface, the man was an ideal candidate. Like Sammy, he would die anyway and nobody would miss him when he did. But on the contrary, he seemed like he still had some good years left in him. And while he was weird and creepy, he had been those things in an oddly endearing way that most of the studio had either liked or tolerated enough to not be bugged by it. The mechanic didn’t know how to explain it, that man reminded Tom of a mysterious, mostly-estranged relative that shows up out of nowhere and was always there for you even if you don’t always see him. So when the man snooped too much for his own good and had to be silenced… Tom could never look the resulting toon in the eye, or in his case, the lens.

But the mechanic couldn’t deny that it needed to be done, after all, the former projectionist was far too nosy for anyone’s sake. Nobody who knows the secret of the Ink Machine (or rather, it’s unconventional secret ingredient needed for its ink) should be free to wander the studio and spill the beans.

And a feeling in his gut was beginning to tell him that that was why he was the next on the chopping block.

He had built it, he learned what it would take to make it work, he had done what it took to make it work, and it was working now; No more models that would only move a tiny bit before collapsing into puddles! No more off model models! No more issues aside from x, y, z… -No more reasons for Joey to keep him alive when it was now too dangerous to his business… 

A tiny voice at the back of his head told him it served him right. The creator of this unholy torture device would now be consumed by it, just like how the maker of the Brazen Bull was the first victim it claimed.

At this point, he was almost morbidly curious on who or what the machine would make him; would it poke fun at his past and make him that territorial junkyard guard, Canoodle? Would it ironically punish him for his greed by making him The Fat Cat of the show, Boswell Lotsobucks? Would it acknowledge that although he was a villain to the bitter end, he still tried to go clean only for demons to drag him back down his dark paths and make him into Charley? Thinking about it, any butcher gang member would be a good enough fit really.

He was a mix of relieved, disappointed, and horrified when he was brought into the room and saw the unconscious voice actress of Alice Angel strapped to a mobile operating table. Joey seemed to ignore his reaction as he proudly showed her off and began to monologue.

“Like Boris, Sammy was a musician, simple-minded, and was very loyal to those he considered friends until the bitter end. But what made Sammy more like the Brute then Boris- Aside from body type, obviously, was that Sammy had quite the short temper on him, one that got messed with often, and a tendency to hold onto a grudge that can’t be swayed away with a good meal or a bad joke… Just like our friend; the Brute.”

Tom stayed speechless as Joey continued his seemingly prepared and rehearsed speech.

“As for Bendy and Norman, well, it’s obvious that those too simply weren’t compatible in the slightest! Sure, they both have their mischievous sides, but that alone doesn’t make a man into a good imp… However, do you know who DOES have more in common with Mr. Polk? That’s right! A certain smart alec-someone who knows a thing or two about anyone, everyone, and everything whether he wants to or not. Someone with a darker, more jaded sense of humor than our little devil, someone who can lurk in the shadows, or in his case, ‘backstage’ for safety or to gather Intel, but be happy and proud to take the front stage when the need arises! ...Alright, I can see that Norman’s soul may have influenced the personality of our Cameraman, but at least he did it in ways that make sense to the character.”

The mechanic continued to stay silent as Joey continued.

“But the main point is: we know what to do to fix this little issue. If we want a main character, we need someone who embodies the soul of that character. And Ms. Campbell here said it herself; Alice is a part of her!”

“Joey…”

“Why, she’d be thanking us if she knew what was coming! This is a dream come true for her! She always seemed to be the happiest when she was singing our angel darling’s songs…”

As if he was snapped out of a trance, the mechanic pulled Joey to his face, gripping the animator’s arms tightly and shaking him up a bit.

“Joey! We can’t do this! Susie isn’t like Norman or Sammy. She’s young, healthy, and still has a lot to live for. Nobody would buy that she passed on from something out of the blue, or that she moved away without warning or telling anyone. Everyone in the studio loves her and talks to her frequently! If we do this, especially so soon, they will make the connection, and they will find out about this. It was bad enough when Norman went, imagine if someone as well loved as her went too!”

Joey just laughed and slapped Tom’s shoulder.

“Oh Tommy, all we need to tell them is that Susie got her big break and is Bringing Alice to life in ways never before seen! And to sell the illusion, also tell them ‘you know how those folks in Hollywood are with their schedules, always a bunch of busy bees.’ They’ll bite, you just have to trust me.”

“What if they don’t?” the mechanic argued. “What if they start snooping around and start to piece together what really happened to her?”

Joey’s smile wavered a bit, but remained steadfast.

“Well, we’ll just have to cross that bridge when we reach it. And when we do, we’ll have our answer!”

“Nnnnggghhh…”

Both of them shuddered when they heard the voice actress start to stir awake.

“I swore I used stronger stuff in her drink…”

“...Jo...Joey..? ..Mr. Conner..?” The voice actress’s real eye widened in horror as she looked around, and her voice wavered as she grew more and more frantic. “WHat’s going on?! Where am I- Why am I tied up?!”

“S-Susie! Everything’s perfectly fine my dear, you just need to calm down a bit and I’ll explain everything…” He subtly jabbed Thomas in the ribs with his elbow. “Tommy!” He hissed “Throw her in the machine already!”

The frightened voice actress began to struggle against her restraints while Tom hesitated. Joey shot him a glare as he strolled up behind Susie and put a ‘reassuring’ hand on the weeping angel’s shoulder.

“Joey, please… let me go… Don’t do this to me!” Tears were running down the woman’s face, her voice was soft and breaking from her stress. “Just let me go and I promise I won’t tell anyone…”

“Now, now, Susie, there’s nothing to worry about, yes I know this looks unsettling from your position… But you and Alice are going places, new, big places that most people only dream of seeing! You’re going to bring her to life in ways that will touch the hearts of generations!”

A flash of realization crossed her face.

“Joey… answer me this: when Sammy ‘died from untreated lung cancer’ did he actually die from lung cancer? And when Norman ‘died from a workplace injury’ did he really…?” her voice trailed off a bit with uncertainty before asking her third question. “Did their deaths have anything to do with those two toons that showed up?!”

Her questions were not answered by words, but with actions as the two men stuffed her into the machine. When it turned on, her screams echoed throughout the mostly empty studio, chilling all who heard them to the very bone.

When they finally stopped, the machine whirred and roared to life and Joey rubbed his hands together in glee as he watched the machine work its magic.

Thomas, on the other hand, stood in silence while staring at his hands as dread and guilt sank in his gut.

The former man’s smile fell into a look of confusion when he saw a pair of gloves with ‘X’ marks on them come out, followed by arms that connected to them. That look of confusion fell deeper into a frown when he saw the arms stretch, curl, and twist when the gloves reached the floor as if they were streams of ice cream coming out of the machine at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Alice didn’t have arms that curled and stretched, but Joey knew a certain demoness toon who did; Miss Twisted. He was cursing under his breath, of course it would complete their little trio before giving him what he wanted! Now he wasted his one shot at getting Alice!

The rest of the toon didn’t even get out of the damn machine, it was like she was taunting him by continuing to stretch her arms and let them continue to coil in piles on the floor instead of showing him the finished product.

Furious, he marched over and grabbed the toon demoness’s arms and yanked her out of the damn machine.

“Stop messing around!” He scolded before pausing and reapplying his signature smile. “Your friends Brute and Cameraman have been worried sick about you ever since their creation! You wouldn’t want to keep them waiting for you any longer than they’ve already been, right?”

He could’ve been imagining it, but he swore that she had a look of pure terror on her face before she put on a fake smile of her own. And was it just him, or was this Miss Twisted’s left eye slightly discolored, glassy looking, if that made sense for someone with pitch black pie-cut eyes. The grayer eye she had reminded him of Susie Campbell’s fake eye.

“Y-yeah! You’re right!” She pushed Joey out of her face, clearly uncomfortable by his staring but pretending to be perfectly fine. “I can’t keep my boys waiting for too long, who knows what they’ll do?” She chuckled nervously. “So… where are you keeping them? where are they hiding?”

“Tommy here will be happy to show you, just follow him and-”

“Thanks!”

The demoness chipperly chirped and swiftly yanked Thomas out of the room at a speed that almost insulted the man.

[vacation-grif]

What kinda feelings?

A LOT, ACTUALLY. Like I said before, the RTNY group was telling me to skip it because it wasn’t a good season, and I want to express how much I wanted to just form my own opinion, only to end up agreeing with them in the end. Let me break this down as best as I can now that I am on my PC. I mean no disrespect to the director and writer, as well as the cast and crew. Honestly, I’m worried that my opinion makes me feel like a boomer at this point.

First off, if anyone was going to tell me that I’m going to have headaches over bright flashing lights and colors over a Red vs Blue series, I wouldn’t have believed you. As I said before, they should’ve just called this “Red vs Blue: Epilepsy Warning THE M0VIE”. I understand that they are using the Unreal Engine, because my god the graphics on this is INSANE. But everything is...too bright. TOO. BRIGHT. Everything has a lens flare no matter where the camera turns, and with the high paced action, all the lights and colors, it HURTS.

-

Next, this is a fully CG-animated season. We haven’t had one like that in SUCH a long time, and this is the first in the 20-ish years of Red vs BLue. When I was a kid who didn’t have a cellphone, I could only imagine what Red vs Blue was like when my best friend would play it over our landline on a weeknight before we would go to school the next day. And I would come over and be like, HOLY SHIT. IS THIS FUCKING HALO?! So imagine my excitement when after 8 years of Red vs Blue using Halo 1 to Halo 3 assets, you see a Warthog just crash through the walls of Valhalla, something you’d never see in a Halo game. A fully animated scene of Grif running over Washington (hell yeah), and an angry Washington outside of his game model just climbing onto the hood of the car and shooting at Grif through the windshield at pointblank range. Then cut to episode 10 of the same season, Tex makes her triumphant return, fully animated instead of her Halo 3 game model. And in the last two episodes of the season, you get OUR VERY FIRST FREELANCER VS FREELANCER FIGHT. You find out this was the work of the late Monty Oum (rest in peace), and until Season 10, Red vs Blue was THE HIGHEST POINT OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE.

Then we go to Season 12 where the animation post Oum (he was working on RWBY at this point but iirc this was just before he died) was choppy at best and didn’t feel right until Season 13, where within the one year the animation team REALLY stepped up. And this actually carries over into Season 17, Singularity, where it became more animation and less game effects, or rather it was balanced. It wasn’t extravegant like Oum’s works, but given that these are the Simtroopers, some Freelancers, some Mercs, and time gods, it felt par for the course. It felt right.

We cut now to these upgraded graphics, which felt like when you were playing on your Xbox 360 and you jsut FUCKING SHOT into the Xbox One. It was, as you would say, unreal (lol). But it felt...off. The first two episodes, the entire action didn’t feel like what you spent 16 seasons watching. It felt like a whole another beast entirely. With the use of super powers, you would think oh the Freelancers had that! Yes, but those were all suit enhancements. These...didn’t feel like it. Zero’s and Phase’s teleportation didn’t feel like something that Fragmented AI can control. Shatter Squad’s at least felt more at home. 

The models themselves were a bit off too. Choppy at best, but understandable given that they were using the Unreal Engine. But you notice that they do a lot of hand on hip pushed out to the side type of thing a lot? Everyone does it. Except Raymond, West, and the big dude. Like the SASSY STANCE. Also, there was way too much power stance. Where if your feet were shoulder width apart, it was a bit wider, and also the pelvis was out a little more. A bit weird. Finally, everyone has an ass. Everyone. Even West. West has an ass, it was like, everyone was dummy thicc and the clap of their ass cheeks was alerting Viper.

-

Next, voice acting. I...absoultely could not stand the voice acting. It was completely over the top, overdramatic, over exaggerated. Granted, I’m a singer, a perform, but I’m not exactly a good actor myself in the few shows I’ve actually done. It felt like watching an anime. When you wtach something with dialogue of your own language, you can tell when you feel something is to over the top. If you watch something of a language you don’t speak, it’ll go over your head, unless you start to speak that language, and you speak to people who speak that language, then you start to pick up what is regular speaking and what is acting. When an anime gets dubbed, most times, the voice actors tend to over dramatacize in the same way the Japanese due, and some times it works, most times it doesn’t. This is because the Japanese way of acting comes from kabuki theater. When English dubbers do that with this weird over emphasized emotions, it is extremely offputting.

In some places, the voice acting is poorly done. Jen Brown’s performance from just getting out of a hospital to giving an expositional lecture about the new cast in literally 5 seconds of time was...off. Carolina should’ve had more time to recover, especailly after losing Washington, one of her closest surrogate family, she felt...a little too calm and normal. Not like the Carolina who was hesitant but trying her best to be a whole better person (see the Paradox Arc, S15-17). It was jsut quick shift, and now she’s making snarky remarks in that Jen Brown voice she does (my god step on me please) and also being a mother hen. Also, she really calls Washington David way more this season than she ever did before that.

Fiona’s performance was shaky at best in my opinion, I don’t know her very well outside of what everyone says. All I know is that sometimes, the way she emphasizes some of her lines don’t fit the situation very well. I think East/Phase was a lot better done than One imo. But she was mostly angry and competitive.

Raymond is the textbook definition of what I hate about taking a character’s role and making it their entire personality. Think of it like watching Power Rangers, and all of their roles is just defined by the shit they say. Jason is the jock, Kimberly is the pretty girl, Trini is......I’m not gonna lie, I don’t...know what to classify Trini, Zack was the cool guy, and Billy was the nerd (Tommy was Jock II also the rebel/loner). Raymond reminded me a lot like Billy, where Billy was defined by being so smart, half of his dialogue was just look at me, i’m fucking smart, let me use all of these big words. Half of Raymond’s dialogue was, look at me, i’m the tech guy, I’m nerdy and loveable, it felt like it was too over the top of trying to stand out. By the end of the season, after East’s big reveal, I started to like him a lot more because he knew what was more at stake. I want to say that my initial impression of him was immature at best.

West was too stiff. Just.. Too stiff. I get he’s old. But show some emotion, please.

Why am I emphasizing on this more? When you listen to the dialogue of RvB, and then you listen at this, even with the return cast of Carolina, Washington, and Tucker, the direction was different. I think it’s because of the new medium with Zero being all super animated like an action, where RvB was just a bunch of net videos that you’re gonna laugh at with well timed jokes. It was super casual, but also super real. Geoff and Gus and everyone else aren’t big actors or anything, but that’s what made it feel real. That’s what made RvB feel like its own thing.

-

In terms of writing, I get that this is RvB meets FnF (Fast and Furious). But I honestly feel that it doens’t belong. The story of Shatter Squad vs Viper would have been a lot better if it didn’t have the RvB name tacked on. It’s such a cool concept, but given what RvB was before, the tonal shift is jsut too great, especially when you only have 3 of the previous cast returning.

Speaking of, what happened to Tucker?! What happened to the guy who became a leader? Responsible? Not as arrogant? Maybe playfully arrogant at best, but not stroking his ego? What happened to HIS SWORD? Did they forget how Tucker’s sword works? That it only works IF HE DIES? Tucker didn’t die, and yet Phase was able to use his sword (which by the way is now hers). One of the earliest stories/gags of RvB and they just...retconned it and threw it away! Also, Tucker’s voice acting did NOT match the scene at all. It’s like watching a video game that was localized from Japanese, and the dubbers spoke too fast before the character could finish. Tucker moves outside of his dialogue and there is this weird seconds of silence. That...that was just a BAD return for him.

-

My final thought is that, if RvB Zero is not...the RvB I grew up with. Maybe the jokes are dated, but the memories of what RvB was is still real. This just...doesn’t feel like RvB anymore. This should have just been it’s own show, it’s own story, replace Wash and Carolina and Tucker with new characters, it just wasn’t their place to be in this.

The only thing I liked about this? I’m glad Danielle (I’m assuming this is how you would spell her name) didn’t go AWOL and returned to the team. I actually really liked her the most next to Axel. She was done dirty, but she still held on to that one bond she had as East that Zero didn’t give her as Phase.

-

I know this is probably not a great opinion, and I really hope that Rooster Teeth finds the ground they want this series to go in. Sometimes, you have to try new things, or else staying stagnant will make it go stale. It’s all about trial and error. I don’t know how everyone else feels about Zero, how the new audience and the old audience feels. RvB as a whole wasn’t perfect. They had their down moments. But when you feel that way for an entire season...it’s a problem.

[reliciron]

Notes on Redeeming Arcann: Part 1

Ok, here are my thoughts on redeeming Arcann. This is just my own current analysis of his character and where I might take him in possible future fics. If someone has a different interpretation I would love to hear it as my own ideas on him continue to shift. If anyone is struggling with his character, I hope this might give you a starting point or jog some new ideas. And if you’re just reading this because you like character analysis (I do too), then I hope you enjoy it and it’s not too incoherent.

This first part will focus more on redeeming Arcann. The second will be my thoughts on his character motivations.

Part 2

Alright, this is going to be very, very long, so strap in. 

Ok, so since I don’t have a lot of experience writing, I felt my own grasp of what it takes to redeem a villain was a little too shaky to do Arcann’s redemption justice on my own. He’s admittedly a pretty horrific character at his worst, and the game itself really doesn’t do a very good job of giving him a believable redemption arc. I feel it would be very easy for an inexperienced writer like me to fall into character apologia and try to ignore what he’s done in favor of ‘it’s not his fault’. Fiction is full of men who act like jerks and excuse it with daddy issues, and I’m really trying to carry that awareness into his redemption so I can avoid that pitfall. The atrocities he committed were his choices, but understanding why he became a character who would make those choices does not mean that he wasn’t ultimately at fault for what he did.

So with that in mind I did a quick search, looked through a few guides on redemption, and eventually settled on this one.

In an effort to make this smooth, I have copy/pasted the major points from the article and put them in brackets with my responses following each one.

[Realism is derived from a multitude of factors, but one of the most important is having authentic motives. Villainy is a dark path for a reason – it’s hard to come back from – which is why you need a super-bright ‘why’ torch to help your baddie see the light.

The best way to create a ‘why’ (or a motive) is to understand where it comes from. For example:

Maybe your villain wants a bigger pay off and this is how he thinks he will get it

He could be taking an order from someone more powerful

A more emotional reason might be that the hero appeals to his heart by saving someone the villain cares about

Or perhaps the villain just wants to right a wrong or past mistake]

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Ok, so Arcann has a little of the last 2 of those reasons. Now that he’s gone through the Force Healing dishwasher, he wants to try and make up for all the horrible things he did (Mostly the people he killed for shits and giggles while hunting down the Outlander. War is war, and he might not beat himself up over the people he personally killed on the battlefield. They made the choice to be soldiers/Jedi/Sith, and they knew they might die when they went up against him.)

He was also swayed by the Outlander letting him and Senya go, and how they cared for her while he was figuring things out.

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[Whatever the plot point for justifying your villain’s redemption, you can create added depth to their motive by linking it to an old wound in his past.]

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His mother left, and it’s possible that he still wonders what would have happened if he and his siblings had gone with her (I can’t remember if he touched on this in one of his cut-scenes during KOTFE). But more importantly, no one has ever come back for him except his brother. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t expect Vaylin to care about him enough to help him unless it benefits her, so after Thexan’s death he feels like he’s alone and nobody would miss him if he died. And that’s… really not a good place to be.

He doesn’t feel connected to his people since I doubt he ever saw much of them while growing up, so it’s easier to treat them like dirt if he can’t empathize with them. Also, the closest person to him, and the only one he seems to care about, is Vaylin, and she’s even more messed up than him so they just echo each other’s cruelty and drive each other to new heights of awfulness.

So that’s why it’s so important to him and game changing that his mom shows up after he’s been defeated.

Now the scene in KotFE goes like this: Senya finds Arcann dead (unconscious) and pinned under a bunch of debris. She drags him out and cries because she thinks he’s dead. Then Vaylin shows up, and while Senya is focused on her, Arcann blinks awake. Vaylin starts to attack, and Arcann stops her. Blah blah blah, Senya saves Arcann because he tried to protect her and she “feels the good in him”.

Ok.

(Keep in mind, my computer chugs much worse if I have the background music on, so I always play with it off. So scenes that maaaaay be relying too much on the music to carry the emotional weight, don’t have that crutch to lean on when I see them.)

Putting aside some dumb stuff, like why didn’t Senya sense that he was alive, and why didn’t she “sense the good in him” until after he pushed Vaylin away, here’s a few tweaks I might make:

Senya finds Arcann badly injured and pinned under debris. She realizes that he’s still breathing so she drags him out, sits down, and cradles him in her arms. She fully expects that he’s going to die, and her resolve crumbles. She rocks him gently and sings to him, her voice breaking here and there as the ship comes apart around them. She left her children once, and she refuses to leave Arcann again. She’s going to stay with him until he succumbs to his wounds, or the ship disintegrates.

To her surprise, he begins to wake. He turns his head into her chest, instinctively remembering her voice and the way she’d sing when comforting him and his brother after a painful day of training. He opens his eyes blearily with a mumbled “Mother?”. And now, finally, after years of being apart, she senses the conflict in him. Buried under years of pain and rage, is the tiny flicker of the boy she used to know.

The ship shudders underneath them and she makes her choice.

She hauls him up and throws his remaining arm over her shoulders. He can barely support his own weight and is fading in and out of consciousness as she drags him off the dais. They’re almost to the door when Vaylin appears and cuts them off.

Senya pleads with her, but Vaylin refuses to see reason and moves to kill her. Senya tries to throw Arcann out of the way, but the minute his arm is clear he manages to force push Vaylin away, where she appears to be crushed under falling debris.

Senya can’t save both of them, but she didn’t feel any conflict in Vaylin. So she chooses Arcann and takes him to the shuttle.

After they’re far enough away, Vaylin comes to in a rage, only to find that she’s missed her chance. She too, escapes in a patrol vessel.

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[Epiphany Redemption

Sometimes we don’t realize we have bad habits until someone tells us or we suddenly become aware of them. One of the most famous epiphany redemption examples is Scrooge going through an awakening. With the help of the Christmas ghosts, he’s shown the impact of his actions which causes him to see that he’s been leading a terrible life. The end of the story show him as a changed man, being kind and charitable to others.]

----

This sounds like what happened to Arcann.

It could be that with his mind clouded with pain and a likely concussion, he forgets his anger enough to think that, if his mother cared enough to save him and feels there’s still good in him, maybe there is.

It could be worked into the healing ritual, instead of this nebulous “light sapping the dark from him while he lays unconscious” thing. It could be that the ritual lifts all of his emotional baggage up so that he can view his past choices through a clear lens. Kind of A Christmas Carol speed-run, where his actions flash by in his mind and the horror of what he’d become slowly builds and replaces some of the rage. So the healing ritual doesn’t cure him of the darkness, so much as it’s a cold dose of the reality of his actions without the rage and bad justifications covering it up. The pain and rage is still there, and he’ll have to deal with it naturally later (get that boy a THERAPIST), but it no longer gets in the way of his decision making and he’s free to make better choices.

This explains why he was so panicked when he woke up that he didn’t notice his mother was still alive. And her “death” was just one more horrible thing he’s done. That even in healing, he still manages to kill the people close to him.

(It’s also why I always take the choice to tell him that Senya’s still alive right before he flies away, to spare him from that extra self hatred.)

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[It takes time. Just as a hero takes an entire novel to overcome her flaw, it will take some time for a villain to make this monumental change. Don’t let them flip-flop like a beached fish between good and evil – the change needs to build slowly throughout the book.]

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I think this is the main issue that a lot of people seem to have with Arcann’s redemption. The healing ritual was such a hand-wavy “ok he’s better now” cop-out for what would normally be months or years of interesting character development.

I understand of course. This is a game, not a book series. There isn’t time to give Arcann the kind of focus that sort of development needs, and they weren’t allowed to weave his redemption too much into the story because not everyone spares him.

We can lessen the impact of this by ignoring some canon things and writing around others, but it would take a major rewrite of a large chunk of KotET to integrate this point.

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[Foreshadow, foreshadow, foreshadow. Readers don’t like to be cheated. You need to drop breadcrumbs throughout your story to let your reader know subconsciously that the villain is going to change, otherwise they’ll feel cheated. It doesn’t take much – the occasional soft glance from the villain, a nicely spoken sentence, and action that is ‘good’ rather than evil. Tiny clues.]

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There were tiny hints here and there, but not really enough for my taste and they were very easy to miss.

Some examples I can think of are:

He sort of yells at Vaylin at one point and without her saying anything, he immediately backs off, calms his voice down, and tells her that he’s not blaming her. She’s flippant about it, but it made it clear that he cares about her enough to treat her with respect and what little affection he’s capable of at that point.

@swtorpadawan made a good point in this post about how Arcann’s hesitation in destroying the Gravestone might’ve been because he sensed his mother’s presence.

And while I don’t think it was supposed to be hesitation on Arcann’s part, just the game forgetting about the time as we are shown Koth lining up the shot, he technically DID hesitate in killing the Outlander after he stabbed them (assuming you refused Valkorian’s power). There was a decent length of time where he had them, mortally wounded and defenseless, and he hesitated so long that Koth discovered the scene, figured out a plan, and shot out that big thing on the ceiling.

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[Don’t make it easy. It’s hard for the hero to overcome her flaw and likewise, it should be hard for a villain to overcome his. A quick way to make it harder for the villain to redeem himself is to catch him between two of his values. For example, while this character isn’t a villain, it still illustrates the point: Ned Stark in Game of Thrones values loyalty and wisdom – his wisdom tells him if he helps his King it will inevitably lead to his death, and yet, his loyalty forces him to help the King anyways.]

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This one is closely tied to the “it takes time” point, and is also horribly ignored in the story. Once he’s healed he’s practically a different person. Now I don’t know if it’s because they didn’t devote much time to his writing since he’s an optional character, or if they meant to write him like this, but it’s still unfortunate.

He strikes me as determined and ruthless (like his mom). His interaction with Thexan and his commitment to the Outlander seems to imply that he’s loyal once he’s found someone worthy of it. He’s intelligent, but can be arrogant sometimes (of course this will have been knocked down a few pegs since the Outlander kicked his ass).

An easy point of conflict between his values (especially soon after he joins the Alliance), would be between his loyalty to the Outlander and his ruthlessness.

He could be on a mission with the Outlander, and have an enemy defeated but alive. The Outlander might want to spare them, while his ruthlessness demands their death. He knows how people like this work, that sparing them is a good way to get stabbed in the back, and if the Outlander is too softhearted to look out for themselves then he will.

BUT the Outlander is showing him trust by letting him accompany them, both trust that Arcann won’t kill them and that he will follow orders. Their trust is extremely precious to him (especially if he’s already crushing on the Outlander) so he really wants to do as they say.

He’s forced to balance their trust against his need to protect them.

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[Don’t let them go soft. Villains are villains for a reason. Keep them authentic by retaining some of their sharper personality edges. Just because their actions are good doesn’t mean the whole of them will be.]

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I feel like this one is especially important, and also terribly overlooked.

Arcann learned some bad habits while being a villain and even when growing up, some of those should carry over into his healed self.

They might lessen with time and careful retraining, but he will always have sharp edges.

He will probably have a temper (although this must be handled very carefully to avoid making him look childish and abusive).

And if someone he cares about is threatened he may fly into a rage until they can calm him down. This rage may be followed by flashbacks of the battles he’s been through and the way the hatred felt in his gut, leaving him panicked and shaky once it’s over.

He probably has nightmares regularly, and care must be taken in waking him up to avoid a violent response, same thing with sneaking up on him: DON”T.

Honestly, the dude went through so much and did so many horrible things that I don’t see how he wouldn’t have PTSD. He certainly has self-hatred up to his eyeballs.

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One more thing:

Once he’s joined the Alliance, I think we need to be careful when writing him to make sure that his goal of trying to make up for the horrible things he’s done isn’t overlooked. I mean yeah, he’s helping by coming along on missions with the Commander, but that is super small time stuff compared to what he’s done and I don’t think he’d be satisfied with it for long.

He’s an intelligent man with experience commanding armies on the battlefield, and an extremely talented Force-user. At minimum, and when not accompanying the Outlander, he should spend most of his day immersed in Alliance reports giving tactical advice (once they trust him enough, of course) and helping with combat training in the Force Enclave. When they trust him more, he can maybe become the official liaison between the Alliance and Zakuul, using the resources and tech of his home world to help the reconstruction on the planets he bombarded and getting Zakuul what they need as well.

Of course, once the Republic/Empire war starts up again, his position will change and he may take on a more military role, commanding offensives on behalf of whichever side the Alliance has picked.

My point is, wallowing in emotional hurt/comfort and developing romance is really fun and satisfying, but don’t forget his promise to atone for his misdeeds.

[frankensteined]

DEPUTY ROXANNE BAILEY (made using this template, edited to add/remove some stuff like body temperature who needs that)

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: roxanne bailey (no middle name~) PRONUNCIATION: rox-ann bay-lee MEANING: roxanne means “dawn/dawn of day” or “bright, radiant one” (which i did not know until right now!) REASONING: she was named after her father’s baby sister, who passed away when she was four years old (her father had been eight at the time). NICKNAME(S): roxie, rox, deputy/dep, rook/rookie (by the entire hope county sheriff’s department), “kid” (by dutch), shorty (by unexpected bff sharky boshaw, though he, along with most of her allies, tend to stick with “roxie”), brosenkrantz (by hurk jr, after a very intense debate over which of them was brosenkrantz and which was guildenstern), Various Terms Of Endearment from adelaide (but she calls everyone by those names so it doesn’t really count) re: the seeds and how they address her: • jacob’s taken to condescendingly calling her “precious”. as in, he did not take her seriously at first, so her attempts at bravado when they first met were greeted with a patronizing “aw, that’s cute. that’s just...precious.” so now he calls her ‘precious’ instead of ‘deputy’ half the time and she hate hate hates it.  • joseph has a way of saying her first name that somehow makes her feel like he’s the one that gave it to her, so she prefers him to use “deputy” as well. it makes her feel too exposed, otherwise.  • it doesn’t matter what john calls her; it always sounds like he’s playing with the name like it’s a toy she can’t get back from him.    • and faith asked during their first encounter if she could use ‘roxie’ for her “like we’re friends”, so even though that’s just her regular nickname, the way faith uses it always feels a little like a trap. or an invitation. roxie isn’t sure which is worse, especially since she isn’t entirely sure that it isn’t both.  

PREFERRED NAME(S): “just...anything but what the seeds call me. or the way they call me. ..you know what i mean.” BIRTH DATE: april 10, 1987  AGE: 31 (circa fc5 time, set in 2018) ZODIAC: aries GENDER: female PRONOUNS: she/her ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: biromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual NATIONALITY: american CURRENT LOCATION: hell hope county, montana LIVING CONDITIONS: UHHHHHH....currently not. awesome??? (”occasionally, i’ll find a house that hasn’t been riddled with bullet holes that i can rest in for a couple of hours? that’s fancy.”) often crashes either in fall’s end or nick rye’s house, but will catch a few hours of sleep at various locations that she’s helped liberate when she’s not in that area. nothing has become a sort of “home” for her yet, though. pretty much, as soon as she finds a place with a working shower she’ll plop down for a bit to recuperate and then moves on. likes to talk/joke about moving into the seed ranch now that it’s out of john’s hands, but also worries that if she does that he’ll harm hudson worse than he already has, out of revenge (so for now it’s just stops there to do laundry and shower and that’s probably pushing her luck enough).  TITLE(S):  junior dep-yoo-tee with the hope county sheriff’s department 

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: america  HOMETOWN: gunnison, colorado  SOCIAL CLASS: lower-middle class EDUCATION LEVEL: high school graduate; was attending columbia unversity on a scholarship (studying psychology), but didn’t complete her program  FATHER: jameson “jim” bailey -- owner of a local hardware store in gunnison MOTHER: elizabeth “liza” bailey (nee wright) -- high school art/music teacher SIBLING(S): none BIRTH ORDER: only child! CHILDREN: hahahaha no  PET(S): she grew up with a bunch of cats and no dogs, though she desperately wanted one. currently, her parents have four cats back home: ginger, roy, caesar, and bunny. in hope county, she has boomer (which is why she got so attached to him so quickly). there’s also cheeseburger and peaches, but they’re....not really pets, exactly (even if she pets them all the time)  OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: lloyd bailey (paternal uncle, lives in missoula, montana), richard bailey (paternal grandfather, lives in flathead county, montana), sarah wright (maternal grandmother, lives in gunnison, colorado) PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: michael lennon; ex-fiance. (he insisted on going by “len” which, now that she’s long out of that relationship, she jokes “should have been my first red flag that we weren’t going to last”. gets roasted pretty regularly by her friends in hope county over it after they find out: “your judgment’s been pretty good so far, but then again: you were gonna marry some dude who wanted people to call him len...so...”, etc)  ARRESTS?: nope! PRISON TIME?: ...not unless you could the literal cage that jacob’s kept her in~ DETAILED BACKGROUND:

• her father, jim, was born and raised in flathead county; he was the middle child, with an older brother and a younger sister, but lost his sister to an accident when she was four years old. he and his older brother became inseparable, and on his twenty-first birthday they set off on a roadtrip around the country, just to see what else was out there

• her mother was born out of wedlock to a woman who “found god” after she discovered that she was pregnant and was subsequently abandoned by her lover; liza wright never knew who her father was, as her mother refused to tell her, but she was assured that she was considered a gift, rather than a punishment.

•  jim and liza met when the brothers ventured through gunnison while on their trip; initially, it was lloyd who was interested in her, but jim’s soft-hearted demeanor was much more appealing in the face of his brother’s louder presence, and lloyd bowed out graciously. it quickly became a whirlwind romance, but liza called it off once he started talking about just staying in gunnison instead of completing his trip. jim told her he’d be back once he was done, but she didn’t believe him. she should have; he returned that fall, hoping she hadn’t moved on. she hadn’t. they resumed their romance, much to her mother’s displeasure, and were married the following spring (also to her mother’s displeasure)

• jim got work at the local hardware store, while liza began her career of teaching at the local high school. she’d planned on just teaching one subject, but due to a series of administrative mishaps she took on an additional role as the music teacher as well. within a year, though, she discovered that she was pregnant. they hadn’t planned on having kids so soon, but there was no helping it. jim ended up taking over the store, while liza worked until she couldn’t anymore. their daughter was born the next spring; they named her in honor of jim’s baby sister 

• roxanne was a healthy, happy baby, but her parents were finally beginning to come down from their whirlwind relationship, and began to worry about money more and more. they did their very best, and they loved their daughter, but roxanne grew up thinking that it was normal that her father was only around for dinner time at 6 pm, and that he was in bed by 8 o’clock. she grew up thinking that it was normal for mothers to stay up late into the night with work, so she’d need to put herself to bed from the earliest age she could. she grew up entertaining herself, but needing to be quiet about it, lest she wake her father, or interrupt her mother’s grading or lesson planning.

• she grew up lonely. roxanne has very vivid memories of sitting on the school steps, watching parents picking up their children one by one, and having to wait until well after everyone else had gone home before one of hers remembered to get her. she remembers being embarrassed as her teachers had to sit and wait with her, and she remembers being in third grade and deciding to try to just walk home on her own; naturally, she got lost, and was found crying on a corner by the sheriff. after he drove her home, arrangements were made for her grandmother to begin picking her up and keeping her at her house until one of her parents were done work

• sarah wright might have disapproved in her daughter’s choice of career, her choice of husband, and her choice in her granddaughter’s name (she had been hoping that liza would have at least given roxanne her name as a middle name!), but she wasn’t a cruel person, and she tried her best to make her home accommodating for her increasingly moody granddaughter. roxie would later go on to recall how her grandmother would refrain from bludgeoning her with “too much church talk”, but she would make comments such as “i’ve been praying for you lately, because i know you aren’t doing it for yourself”, and other such things that would sour her on faith in general, but she shrugs it off by adding “at least i wasn’t alone all the time”. it was her grandmother who suggested she try some sort of physical activity to get her frustrations out, and she enrolled her in dance lessons, which roxanne would stick with for much of her adolescence.

• by middle school, roxanne’s moodiness had given way to real, proper anger. she was angry at her father for always being at work instead of spending time with her. she was angry with her mother for prioritizing other people’s children over her own. she was angry with her teachers for innocent infractions, such as not realizing that casually suggesting that her parents could help her with her homework felt like the equivalent to open mockery to her. eventually, the anger turned into acting out, which eventually landed her in a chair opposite a children’s counselor; here, she’d actually begin to voice these issues, which delivered a much needed wake up call to her parents. they began to seek out ways to better balance their lives, and roxanne began to realize that she rather enjoyed being able to see where her anger was stemming from, and see where it was going. it was her first brush with understanding psychology, and that redirected her focus towards the subject once she hit high school.   

• speaking of which, things improved by the time she entered high school. it helped that she was now seeing her mother regularly in school, and she got a part time job as a waitress in the diner across the street from her father’s store so she could see him on his breaks, but beyond that she simply...had a place to put her energy now. more accurately: her goal was to get out of gunnison, and to study psychology. everything else seemed to fall into a strange, but welcome place in the background. her family began taking yearly trips to visit her uncle and grandparents in montana, where they would go hiking and camping, and her uncle would introduce her to bird watching. those trips became some of her fondest memories

 •  she worked her ass off in high school, academically-speaking, in order to have a shot at a scholarship. her mother’s position definitely helped her to at least get the audience she needed to apply for one, but roxie somehow, miraculously, managed to get one to her top school of choice mostly through her own merit. she left for columbia university, and while she was feeling wildly out of her depth there, she managed to attract a small bunch of (much more well-off) friends who saw her as a “project”. it wasn’t a flattering comparison, but by this point she had come to attach herself to anyone who actively appeared to choose her over others, and so she was inducted into their numbers and it shielded her from getting too in over her head, financially and emotionally 

• one member of that social circle was michael lennon, a bio-med student, son of a senator, asked that everyone just refer to him as “len”, who, for reasons she still doesn’t understand, decided that he needed to pursue her. he was far from her type, and she turned him down initially to focus on her classes, but that only increased his interest. despite herself, roxanne was flattered by the attention, even if he was self-important. eventually, they began dating, whereupon he introduced her to things like galas (which she hated), yachts (which she hated), and how to fly his own, personal, two-seater plane (ridiculous...but she kind of enjoyed that). eventually, he asked her to marry him, and, again, for reasons she still doesn’t understand, she accepted his proposal. (...it was because it was the ultimate “i choose you” display. that’s the reason, even if she doesn’t want to acknowledge that)  

• back home, her father’s struggles with money only increased, and her mother returned to throwing herself into her work at the school. it became the perfect storm needed for a man by the name of “cal jethrow” to waltz on in and offer jim help, only to turn around and con him out of everything. jim had thought that he was going to expand his business, and that could keep him afloat, but by the time that cal vanished (with his fakey-fake name), he was left with nothing. as soon as roxanne had all the details, she was already on a flight back home. her parents had told her not to return, but she ignored them. len had told her not to go, but she ignored him. her return home was bittersweet, but she was in a better position than any of them were to dig her heels in and try to help her parents back on their feet

• len told her that if she stayed, their engagement was off. with a detachment that really should have tipped her off to how little she actually loved him, roxie replied “then it’s off.” he then went on and told her to hold onto the ring “for when she came back around” (because he’s a jackass). she turned around and pawned it as soon as she got off the phone with him, so her father could keep the store running for the next month. with her life firmly turned on its head, she began looking for work that would help her help her parents, and found herself facing that same sheriff that had helped her all those years ago. she was trained up, and joined the ranks of the sheriff’s department as soon as possible.

• eventually, financial matters smoothed, somewhat, but issues between jim and liza only worsened. their relationship, which had never exactly been on anything other than shaky legs to begin with, had been strained to the point of fraying. they were forced to admit that they were struggling during another trip to montana, after jim’s mother’s passing, and roxie, attempting to keep her own anger in check, asked them what she could do to help beyond what she’d already done for them. they admitted that they were blaming themselves, and each other, for her returning home, so she suggested that she just stay in montana, with her uncle lloyd, for a while in order to give them space to figure their own shit out (direct quote). so, that’s what she did. 

• her uncle was (self-appointedly) tasked with helping her find a job in montana, initially in missoula, where he lived, but he heard from an old friend, earl whitehorse, out in hope county, that he was looking for a new deputy. lloyd and his niece debated the position, with him filling her in on hope county’s history, and the cult that was operating within it, framing it as nothing she couldn’t handle, given her psychology background.  “you think i can, what, deprogram people in a cult?” she asked.  “christ, no! you just won’t get scared from it, is all i’m sayin’! anyways, those seeds are keeping to themselves, so i hear. you probably won’t even see them very often. it’ll be breaking up barfights and handling domestics, just like you’re used to!”  she considered her uncle’s sales pitch. “alright,” she shrugged. “give your buddy a call. what’s the worst that can happen?”     

• freshly relocated to hope county, roxie found herself immediately taking a liking to sheriff whitehorse, as well a fellow deputies joey hudson and staci pratt. they welcomed her with genuine warmth, taking it upon themselves to give her rides to work, as well as good-natured hazing (referring to her exclusively as “rook” when it wasn’t just ‘rookie’, and teasing her when she decided to wear the nickname as a badge of honor, since she already was a bit of a dork as far as bird knowledge went). by the time us marshal cameron burke appeared, tasking them all to accompany him in his arrest of joseph seed, pratt and hudson had delivered her one last prank: they’d had her uniform shirt ordered with the name “rook” on it instead of “bailey”. roxie found it hilarious, but nancy, the dispatcher, assured her that she’d already placed a new order for a proper uniform shirt for her. roxie dramatically thanked her for being the only person to have her back. (*sad trombone noises*)

• on the way over to the compound, while on the helicopter, roxie was checking her phone for the briefest of refreshers on the project at eden’s gate. her mother attempted to call her, but she dismissed it, intending to call back later than night, after the arrest was done and they’d all gone home.

• and. well. ....here we are. (note: at the time that i’m writing this, roxie’s sitting just shy of full resistance points in all three territories, but she’s yet to confront any of the heralds in their final encounters yet. so, that’s where i’ll be imagining her at for the most part, because it’s a fun dynamic to be playing around with, in terms of her relationships with all the other characters)  

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: does “deputy with the HCSD” even mean anything anymore? she isn’t exactly getting paid right now... SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: ummm...selling pelts?  TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME: UMMM....looting peggies? APPROXIMATE AMOUNT PER YEAR: $Who, cares, about, money, right, now. ?? CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: “...y’know...i think my job could be better these days...”  PAST JOB(S): waitress, deputy with the gunnison county sheriff department  SPENDING HABITS: she’s actually always been pretty frugal, but given her current situation she’s more willing to part with funds for the sake of better supplies (or clothing). mostly, her response has been “why are you making me pay for this when i’m helping--no. you know what? fine. just give me the keys to the helicopter.” (Capitalism Never Sleeps, roxanne)  MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: a necklace with a gold wishbone pendant; her mother gave it to her when she was leaving for university, “for luck”. it has since absolutely gone missing thanks to the nightmare that is her current life in hope county, but she doesn’t know when she lost it. could have been when john had her in his bunker and he was prepping her for confession. could have been when she was being dragged into a cage at jacob’s behest. could have been while she was wandering around in some bliss-fueled hallucination. she doesn’t know, it does upset her, and, yes, she’s taking it as a sign that her luck’s running out.   

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: 7/10 (she’s stronger than she looks and has decent enough upper arm strength to pull herself up ledges and ropes without struggling, but she’s also not going to win any brawls unless she ends up with an unexpected advantage) OFFENSE: 6/10 (knows how to fight, But Would Prefer Not To) DEFENSE: 8/10 (knows how to defend herself And Prefers That Very Much Actually) SPEED: 8/10 (outruns a lot of chosen in their helicopters. pisses them off. pisses the seeds off. feels good. ♥) INTELLIGENCE: 7/10 (she was a good student and has a good enough head on her shoulders, but generally isn’t too above average outside of her preferred interests) ACCURACY: depends on her condition 8/10 (generally, pretty good! she hates it!) AGILITY: 8/10 (can successfully walk in a straight line and run without tripping, can dance well, but has also slipped off a dock and fallen into the water while trying to be sneaky, so...) STAMINA: 5/10 (running on fumes most of the time these days, but still does just enough to keep going!) TEAMWORK: 9/10 (she prefers to work with others! the only times that she tries to go it alone is either if she thinks a situation is going to be too dangerous for them, or if she’s experienced something especially upsetting. she can quickly get called out of that funk by someone simply reaching out to her, however, so all in all she’s a really good team player) TALENTS: ignoring the practical skills she is honing during this ordeal (ie: picking locks), she has a stupid amount of knowledge about birds and how to get by in the woods, thanks to her uncle. she’s also a fairly skilled dancer (she was absolutely That Person who went out to clubs to actually just dance when she was in university), but generally just prefers to dance like an idiot to relieve stress. she’s a little bit crafty, too, thanks to her mother’s background in the arts, but her talents are limited to making non-fancy jewelry (though she will friendship bracelet the hell out of someone if given the chance)   SHORTCOMINGS: not so great with melee weapons/hand to hand sorts of situations and has been knocked on her ass too many times to count. she’s also not super wild on heights, so every time she needs to climb something high her heart’s firmly lodged in her throat.     LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english is the only language she speaks fluently, alas DRIVE?: she’s a great driver! [footage not found] JUMP-STAR A CAR?: she can get it eventually, but definitely not on the first try. luckily, she travels with much more competent car-lifters :’) CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: if she has to but there are so many abandoned vehicles everywhere is it really worth it when you can just take a new one?  RIDE A BICYCLE?: yes!  SWIM?: yep, and she’s had to do a lot of it lately, unfortunately. she’s always in need of dry socks :( PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: her mom tried to get her into playing instruments when she was younger, and she can pluck away at guitars well enough, but she never stuck with anything long enough to get really good at it PLAY CHESS?: hahahahahahaha no. BRAID HAIR?: yeah, but she can’t remember the last time she’s braided anyone’s hair (including her own) TIE A TIE?: yep! PICK A LOCK?: heck yes that was the second or third perk i unlocked for her

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: krysten ritter EYE COLOR: hazel  HAIR COLOR: black HAIR TYPE/STYLE: shoulder length, straight. ties it back when it’s hot out.  GLASSES/CONTACTS?: thankfully unneeded (though she will wear sunglasses if she finds a cool pair)  DOMINANT HAND: right handed HEIGHT: 5′9″ WEIGHT: 130 lbs BUILD: slight EXERCISE HABITS: running and hiding and climbing and crouching and swimming and absolutely none of it is done for fun :) SKIN TONE: fair TATTOOS: none yet PEIRCINGS: she has her ears pierced once in each ear, but nothing more fun than that MARKS/SCARS: she’s absolutely covered in scars across her torso/arms/back/legs these days (or, if they aren’t scars already, they’re definitely going to be once they’ve healed up properly!). by far her most concerning scar is the one on her neck that came from a wolf attack, uncomfortably close to a spot that’d have been pretty fatal if she’d been less fortunate. she’s also got a burn scar on her upper left arm thanks to being too close to sharky being sharky (she doesn’t blame him, though. honest accident!)     USUAL EXPRESSION: lately it’s been like this when it comes to seeing what an epic shitstorm she’s landed herself in, but prior to this she was much more relaxed and oftentimes open, if not downright playful, with others. that side still shines through when she’s with her friends in hope county, but it’s getting harder and harder to feel that way the worse and worse it gets. still, she’s trying to keep it together.  CLOTHING STYLE: currently she’s stomping around in a tank top, jeans, combat boots, and a hat on, but even before coming here she was always a pretty basic jeans/t-shirt type of person. doesn’t get too attached to clothing these days, because it always gets damaged if not literally torn off her JEWELRY: the aforementioned necklace that’s gone missing, as well as some larger rings that she’s found in abandoned houses throughout the county that she keeps on to add extra insult to any punch she might need to deliver.  ALLERGIES: n/a DIET: ironically, she eats fresher food now than she did before coming here. her current diet mostly consists of whatever gets hunted/fished up and whatever canned foods she finds in prepper stashes around the county, though now that the resistance has reclaimed a number of farms she’s been able to enjoy more variety. is gonna storm john’s bunker for a chocolate bar someday, though, seriously PHYSICAL AILMENTS: just...basically perpetually injured at this point. always at least a little Fucked Up 

PSYCHOLOGY

JUNG TYPE: i took three different tests to see and in two of them she got the “hero/champion” archetype, so that’s what she is (as much as it pains her) MBTI: ENFP ENNEAGRAM TYPE: six “the skeptic” MORAL ALIGNMENT: neutral good TEMPERAMENT: choleric ELEMENT: fire PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE: interpersonal/intrapersonal MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: she was neglected for much of her early upbringing, and with that came issues involving anger and attachment. while she was in a much healthier place recently, some of those issues are resurfacing as she’s feeling more and more pressure from dealing with This Mess  SOCIABILITY: prior to all of this, roxanne was slow to engage with others, but quick to befriend and trust them if they showed her an equal level of enthusiasm towards her. that’s essentially still the case, and she certainly excels when she’s in groups of people, but she’s becoming obviously more withdrawn and jumpy, finding it hard to accept praise or to feel like others are being honest with her when they thank her. but she still thrives off of that validation, so she keeps herself surrounded by other people as often as possible.   EMOTIONAL STABILITY: L O L it’s all over the fucking place these days. she has a hard time controlling her anger, but on the flip side she’s also become even more fiercely affectionate and protective towards her friends. some days, she will swallow back every feeling she has, and the next she might end up crying over any little thing. her emotional state is kind of like sharky’s homemade, duct tape reinforced flamethrower: it’s holding together, but you’re always gonna be a little worried that it’s gonna blow up and take out everyone around it under the wrong circumstances.  OBSESSION(S): for the sake of keeping sane, she’s 100% thrown herself into collecting the comics and bobbleheads and whatnot that she comes across. sometimes, roxie and her team will search a house that contains nothing but a baseball card for her collection and still consider it a success COMPULSION(S): she’s compelled to...break every tv set she comes across that’s broadcasting something she doesn’t want to see on it :) PHOBIA(S): shockingly, she’s developed an extreme fear of drowning! wonder where that came from. ADDICTION(S): she’s addicted to validation and having people choose her (going all the way back to her childhood, where her parents often did not prioritize her over others, despite their best efforts). this really, really isn’t something that she acknowledges in herself, but it does explain her responses to the accolades the people of hope county throw at her: even though she absolutely doesn’t think she deserves it, it keeps her going. she tells herself it’s because she has to keep going for them, and that’s true(!), but there’s a part of her that is sated in having others validate her. unfortunately, that also subconsciously influences her responses to the focus the cult has on her as well.      DRUG USE: recreationally in her youth, but hasn’t done any for some time. (unless you count helping aaron kirby/tweak out once by being his guinea pig) ALCOHOL USE: occasionally; more so when stressed, though she tries to keep a clear head as often as possible. still, if it’s there, she’s gonna drink it. PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: ........guilty.

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: she’s fairly blunt, but surprisingly playful even now. keeping a sense of glibness to her responses, hopefully, masks just how poorly she’s coping with all of this. it isn’t all a front, though: she does genuinely speak with levity when she’s with her friends, enjoying being able to banter and joke with them, because they bring out the best in her. she used to be much more mouthy towards her enemies, until she saw firsthand how her allies were faring in their clutches. now, she saves those kinds of comments for just the right level of tension. there’s no sense in antagonizing them verbally when they’re in a better position to hurt her friends than she is to save them.

ACCENT: american QUIRKS: • even before coming to hope county, she was someone you could count on to always have gum on her person, and that’s especially true now. she’ll use pieces of gum as a peace offering/extending of an olive branch to people who don’t quite trust her, figuring that even the grumpiest of people can be won over thanks to the promise of fresh breath these days.  •  she also tends to “ask permission” of her animal companions before doing something dumb or reckless. if cheeseburger didn’t say no, then it’s fine, right? NERVOUS TICKS: fidgeting and picking at her hangnails  DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: • from the beginning, her main drive was to understand herself, which fortunately branched out to understanding others. that’s how she came to understand and make peace with her parents, it’s what made her able to harness her own negative emotions (...usually), and it’s what made her think that she’d fare okay in hope county in the first place. she’s still trying to understand these people, as much as she is trying to survive them. •  she also, of course, wants a place to belong to. so much of what she grew up tolerating was in the name of being wanted and appreciated, and whenever she finds that it becomes dear to her, even if it isn’t necessarily a positive thing (ie: frickin’ len). thankfully, the friends she’s made here are quite happy to accept her into their numbers, so she doesn’t need to pull validation from elsewhere (even though...it’s out there, in some twisted form)  • also, revenge? vengeance? not a positive goal, but!! it’s in there, simmering! FEARS: she fears so much lately it’s easier to list what she isn’t scared of, but obviously the biggest one is failing everyone that’s counting on her. it’s dying here. it’s her own mind, thanks to jacob. it’s joseph. but also, it’s turkeys, because those assholes are bloodthirsty. POSITIVE TRAITS: roxie is loyal to a fault, and absolutely fails any attempt she makes to turn her back on someone that she could help. she’s genuinely affectionate with her friends, and enjoys having inside jokes and opportunities to be silly with the people who like having her around, which, all in all, makes her a really good friend. she grew up without many of those, so she tries to be better than what she started with.      NEGATIVE TRAITS: roxie’s prone to flashes of anger and tends to hold grudges because of it. it makes her somewhat vengeful (part of why she leaned toward law enforcement was because she liked to imagine taking down the guy who conned her dad), which can sometimes make her take risks she really shouldn’t. she has a stubborn streak that borders on foolishness at times, and that makes her unable to just walk away when it would be better for everyone involved. she also does not handle loneliness well at all.

also she’s been turned into a brainwashed attack dog whenever jacob plays his gd song SENSE OF HUMOR: her own brand of humor is pretty dry/sarcastic/it’s-a-defense-mechanism, but in the right company she’ll lean into being silly/absurd and goofing off a fair bit (traveling with sharky and hurk together really brings that side out the most often, though nick and adelaide can get that too. she at least tries to be more serious with grace and jess, but between the three of them she’s probably the most likely to goof off). roxie does find sharky and hurk’s nonsense genuinely hilarious about....85% of the time, and although adelaide’s style doesn’t match her own at all, it still cracks her up a lot of the time as well (in an incredulous way). DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: only when stressed :) which :) i mean... :) :) :)

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: dancing ♥ ANIMAL: birds (except turkeys. she knew true betrayal when a wild turkey first attacked her)  BEVERAGE: no one believes her when she says this, but it’s really just any herbal tea! COLOR: the kind of deep orange you associate with autumn FOOD: blueberries! she likes blueberry flavoured anything. (least favourite: peas) FLOWER:  peonies  (least favourite is.....bliss flowers. obviously. but also roses, because she associates them with cheap apologies) GEM: citrine HOLIDAY: halloween! (all about that fall aesthetic) MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: cars, though she’s getting less rammy with big fuckoff trucks in hope county :) (least favourite is probably the quad because she. tends to crash them.) MOVIE: the wizard of oz (least favourite: moulin rouge, entirely because of “el tango de roxanne”. or, more specifically, how it influenced people to say her name for like five years after the movie came out)  SCENERY: as shitty as her situation is, montana really is beautiful, and she appreciates a lot of the natural sights around when she’s moving from place to place SCENT: fresh laundry is always a good one, but she’ll be the first person to admit that a really nice cologne or perfume will turn her head quickly. it’s a weakness. (least favourite is....uh. the smell of burning bodies, which wasn’t something she’d ever expect to have firsthand experience with, but here we are.) SPORTS TEAM: “uh....go cougars?” WEATHER: the kind you get right before a storm is rolling in, though she’s also fond of a good ol’ thunderstorm as well. (least favourite is snowy anything. she does not enjoy winter) VACATION DESTINATION: ironically, it used to be camping in montana. now it’d be...literally anywhere but here.

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: being able to see her parents again GREATEST FEAR: “i just don’t want to die here.”  MOST AT EASE WHEN: she’s taken to setting some time aside for herself to play with boomer, or to lounge against cheeseburger when there’s some precious downtime. sometimes peaches will come lay across her lap then, too, and there’s something really reassuring about having these apex predators just relaxing with her, knowing that they’ll keep her safe.  also, the jukebox at the spread eagle often gets hijacked after really stressful days, and being able to dance for a bit without worrying about an airstrike or something interrupting does wonders for putting her at ease. sometimes, her friends will put the music on for her and force her to dance with them when she’s in an especially bad funk, and it’s hard to really stay up in her own head when she sees them go to that much trouble for her sake ♥ worth noting: most of this dancing is not, strictly speaking, good, but it is ridiculous and fun. (and that’s valid!) LEAST AT EASE WHEN: joseph seed is making very intense eye contact with her (which is the only way he seems to make eye contact with anybody, in his defense) WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: she literally can’t think of anything at this point that could make things worse for her, save a literal, actual apocalypse hahaha :( BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: retaking the hope county jail and saving sheriff whitehorse. having him back has been the first real sense of normalcy to return to her life, and was the push she needed to press on towards trying to locate and rescue hudson and pratt.  BIGGEST REGRET: ...failing thus far to save either hudson or pratt. in joey’s case, roxie can sort of forgive herself, because she wasn’t in the absolute best position to be able to rescue her, but having been so close to her that she could see the tear tracks on her cheeks while john was wheeling her out of the room still weighs on roxie even now. she can’t stop to think about what she left hudson to deal with in there without feeling sick.  in staci’s case, the feelings of regret and guilt are even worse because they’d come so close to being able to escape jacob together, but it was never enough. pratt had saved her, and he was left behind to suffer for it. she’s taken to smashing every tv she comes across that’s looping that video of him being left to die.    MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: probably this moment when she first met hurk. it was a Class Act. BIGGEST SECRET: the seeds get to her. they’re in her head, she can’t shake certain things that each of them have said to her, and it all really boils down to the fact that a part of her -not even a part that she wants to recognize or acknowledge - thrills at the attention they have fixed on her. that part of her that yearns to be a priority is grateful, in a twisted way, that she’s apparently worth more than just a bullet in the head to them. that’s the part of her that’s keeping her skirting between territories, rather than just finishing it with the heralds one by one. roxie doesn’t accept that that’s what’s happening to her, but if she’d just stop to really think about it...she’d see that it’s true.   • despite the warnings, she can’t help but...wonder if maybe faith is actually sincere but has been manipulated. if maybe she could be reasoned with. she doubts it, but roxie has to admit that hearing faith’s accusatory “i thought you were different!” made her feel. well. bad. (roxie’s totally wrong about her, and she’s been warned against faith by loads of people, but. oops.)  •  she isn’t....not attracted to john. like. aesthetically. it’d be an absolutely terrible idea, she would hate herself if it happened, and she loudly rejected both sharky and adelaide’s observations on their dynamic, so she’s not even thinking about it, but. ...well, anyway. that’s one of those take-it-to-the-grave secrets so shh  •  out of all of them, despite what everyone else has done to her, the one that’s gotten to the her the most, the one that scares her the most, the one that’s seen through her the most, is joseph 

TOP PRIORITIES: “stay alive, save my team, save my friends, save the rest of the county, if i can. stay alive some more, finish this, then sleep, for a long, long time.” 

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #184 & 185

Thur Aug 22 2019 [12:35 AM] Wack'd: We still haven't resolved why kidnappers kidnapped Agatha who kidnapped Franklin so we're probably back to that in [12:35 AM] Wack'd: FANTASTIC FOUR VOL 1 #184 [12:35 AM] Bocaj: I hope someone kidnaps the kidnapper's kidnapper [12:35 AM] maxwellelvis: I'd like to at least see the covers for these, but I guess we're too far in now. [12:36 AM] Wack'd: You can just...go to Marvel Wiki and punch in issue numbers? [12:36 AM] Wack'd: There's a reason I don't post covers often [12:36 AM] maxwellelvis: yeah [12:36 AM] Wack'd: So Reed has had...a very long day [12:37 AM] Wack'd: And for once in his life lets his family take care of him and get him into bed [12:37 AM] Wack'd: Mostly because he was literally passing out, but still [12:37 AM] maxwellelvis: And probably because he no longer has the physical ability to resist their efforts to get him to take a break [12:37 AM] Wack'd: Also true [12:40 AM] Wack'd: So Ben calls to check in with Alicia ( 🎵 checking in with Alicia / Alicia what's uuuuup 🎶) [12:40 AM] Wack'd: And Alicia, on Sue's orders, doesn't mention what's happened to Franklin to stop him from doing something reckless and stupid [12:41 AM] Wack'd: All the ruckus knocked AUNTIE offline (hey! someone remembered!) and Thundra and Greer are like "actually, fuck this" and leave Ben to clean up the damaaaaay wait a second [12:41 AM] Wack'd: WE FORGOT ABOUT THE HEAT-GENERATING ROBOT [12:41 AM] Wack'd: Gotta circle back to that at some point, probably [12:41 AM] Wack'd: But not right now [12:42 AM] Wack'd: hrrrrrrg

[12:43 AM] Wack'd: Johnny is also leaving, having decided he's not going to harrass Frankie [12:43 AM] Wack'd: Instead, he's gonna get hit by a laser, I guess

[12:44 AM] maxwellelvis: Also, Johnny's dialogue here? CRIMSON BANNER RIGHT THERE [12:44 AM] Wack'd: I have no idea what that means [12:44 AM] maxwellelvis: Red flag [12:45 AM] Wack'd: Oh yeah [12:45 AM] Wack'd: I mean [12:45 AM] maxwellelvis: I mean more so than usual, y'see. [12:45 AM] Wack'd: He's deciding not to harass her until she confesses her deepest traumas and decides to date him again? [12:45 AM] Wack'd: Seems like kind of the opposite [12:45 AM] Wack'd: A green...something [12:46 AM] Bocaj: green street sign [12:46 AM] maxwellelvis: The way he's been acting since finding out she's got a phobia of fire has been... [12:46 AM] maxwellelvis: very much not how you treat that sort of thing, even for the 70's [12:47 AM] Wack'd: hahahahahahahahaahahah this is so fucking stupid i love it

[12:49 AM] Wack'd: So Reed, Sue, and Ben head off to rescue Franklin and Agatha, with Ben shooting off a flare to see if Johnny will notice anything's up [12:49 AM] Wack'd: (He won't) [12:50 AM] Wack'd: And shortly thereafter the Fantasticar is shot by another one of those lasers, which transport them to an even bigger, spookier haunted house than Whisper Hill [12:50 AM] Wack'd: "It's darker than Doctor Doom's soul in here," quips Reed [12:50 AM] Bocaj: Weirdly poetic for him [12:51 AM] Wack'd: They find Johnny, completely out of it, hanging from a banister by his shirt [12:52 AM] Wack'd: And then there is this asshole

[12:52 AM] Wack'd: The Eliminator is here to dispose of any evidence that Agatha Harkness ever lived [12:52 AM] Wack'd: And that includes living evidence [12:52 AM] Wack'd: Fight fight fight [12:53 AM] maxwellelvis: TECHNOMAGES! See! Maria was right! They ARE real! [12:54 AM] Wack'd: Sue is like "okay, fuck this, I'm gonna force field this doofus" [12:54 AM] Wack'd: And then she is atomized [12:54 AM] Wack'd: Len Wein sure likes to set Sue up to do something cool and then have her unceremoniously disposed of [12:55 AM] Wack'd: OH OKAY NEVER MIND [12:55 AM] Wack'd: She only pretended to be atomized so that the Eliminator wouldn't suspect anything if a hit didn't land [12:55 AM] Wack'd: Using invisibility [12:56 AM] Bocaj: As I would say "I can't believe Sue Storm is dead forever and now the book will be about <x inane thing> from now on" [12:56 AM] Wack'd: And then she saves Reed and Ben from getting got, and uses the force fields to block their life signs so Eliminator thinks they're dead [12:56 AM] Bocaj: I guess force fields can do that [12:56 AM] Wack'd: Yep [12:56 AM] Wack'd: Johnny then follows his sister's lead and pretends to blow himself up on a suicide run [12:57 AM] Wack'd: The Eliminator, having eliminated the last of the witnesses to Agatha's existence, congratulates himself on a job well done and starts to self-destruct [12:57 AM] Wack'd: And then the Four all pop to their feet and tell him they're fine. Just to mock him in his dying moments [12:57 AM] Wack'd: And then he explodes [12:57 AM] Bocaj: ... wow [12:58 AM] Bocaj: thats [12:58 AM] Bocaj: wow [12:58 AM] Wack'd: Weirdly cruel actually [12:58 AM] maxwellelvis: That's like something the Seventh Doctor would do [12:58 AM] Wack'd: But he did just try to murder them and may or may not have murdered their prepubescent child and family friend [12:58 AM] Wack'd: So he earned it, honestly [12:59 AM] Wack'd: Anyway [12:59 AM] Wack'd: With that done with they're more determined than ever to find out if Franklin and Agatha are still alive [12:59 AM] Wack'd: (I mean spoilers, they are, but they don't know that) [01:00 AM] Bocaj: Like I said, Agatha is sometimes a ghost and it doesn't mean anything. Vitality is just something that does or doesn't happen [01:00 AM] Wack'd: Maybe she's a lich and she cloned her own body so she could wear it like a suit sometimes [01:00 AM] Wack'd: Who's to say [01:01 AM] Bocaj: Who's to say indeed

Thur Aug 22 2019 [01:02 AM] Wack'd: I dig the hell out of this Gaspar guy's lettering

[01:02 AM] Wack'd: Man I wish hand-lettering was still a thing in comics [01:02 AM] Wack'd: I miss it [01:02 AM] Wack'd: Like there's not necessarily any merit to doing it for dialogue bubbles but for stuff like this it's invaluable [01:03 AM] maxwellelvis: It feels like he just got back from seeing Dr. Strangelove or something for the writer and illustrator credits. [01:03 AM] Wack'd: I got more of a Batman TAS vibe personally [01:03 AM] maxwellelvis: That too [01:03 AM] Wack'd: With the low center of gravity on the Es [01:03 AM] Wack'd: And the big round Os [01:04 AM] maxwellelvis: I just had Strangelove on my mind is all [01:04 AM] Wack'd: It's good lettering [01:04 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, last issue, I forgot to mention because it was on a two-page spread that was rendered [01:04 AM] Wack'd: Really small for some reason [01:04 AM] Wack'd: But they found a metallic egg in the woods outside the big gothic mansion [01:04 AM] Wack'd: And have now determined it's probably where Eliminator came from [01:05 AM] Wack'd: So Reed's doing his workaholic best to figure out something about it to save Franklin and Agatha [01:06 AM] Wack'd: Reed manages to pinpoint the metal to somewhere in the Colorado Rockies [01:07 AM] Wack'd: Also, waaaaaay back in #39 the team lost their powers so Reed's hauled his old extendo-arms from out of the basement to cover for his lack of stretching [01:07 AM] Wack'd: This requires him to wear his 60s uniform for some reason

[01:07 AM] maxwellelvis: They were probably built into the suit. [01:08 AM] Wack'd: And then Sue and Johnny also get into their 60s uniforms because Len Wein seems determined to rehash literally every ounce of the Kirby years for moral support [01:08 AM] maxwellelvis: *literally every ounce of the Kirby years Roy Thomas hasn't already [01:08 AM] Wack'd: Generally when Thomas or even Conway brought back stuff from the past it was to put a new spin on it. Wein seems to just do it because he likes it [01:10 AM] Wack'd: JOHNNY HAS MADE MODIFICATIONS TO THE POGO PLANE [01:10 AM] Wack'd: THIS CAN ONLY GO WELL [01:10 AM] Wack'd: Remember the last time Johnny was allowed to so much as touch this thing he and Medusa got stranded in the Himilayas [01:11 AM] Wack'd: So they land in the Rockys [01:11 AM] Wack'd: And Johnny has built--I shit you not--a hot-rod-in-a-box [01:12 AM] Bocaj: huh [01:12 AM] maxwellelvis: Like, like you throw it on the ground and BOMB! there's a hot rod? [01:13 AM] Wack'd: Some assembly required but the implication is that Johnny has done this in like five minutes

[01:13 AM] Wack'd: And so the Four go exploring in the whopping one tiny town they found in the Rockies in hopes this is anything [01:14 AM] Wack'd: Reed has Ben do his old Ninja Turtle shtick because Len Wein is nostalgic so no one notices them [01:15 AM] Wack'd: Everything about this man screams "trustworthy"

[01:15 AM] Bocaj: That’s impressive facial hair [01:15 AM] Wack'd: Not just a twirly mustache but a beard you can also twirl in two directions [01:15 AM] Wack'd: Also his name is SCRATCH [01:16 AM] Wack'd: You know, like THE DEVIL??? [01:16 AM] Wack'd: The Four find nothing odd about this at all [01:16 AM] KarkatTheDalek: Truly, I have never known a more trustworthy name [01:16 AM] maxwellelvis: "Nick Scratch" [01:16 AM] maxwellelvis: That's not even TRYING [01:17 AM] Wack'd: The Four wander around this tiny town aimlessly for a bit and then give up [01:18 AM] Wack'd: But Agatha sees this from her window and realizes she has to do something, even if it means alerting her captors [01:18 AM] Wack'd: So she raises A GAINT WALL OF FLAMES around--oh right, also this town is named NEW SALEM [01:18 AM] Wack'd: You dinguses [01:18 AM] Bocaj: oh [01:18 AM] Bocaj: New Salem comes back up again for the Scarlet Witch Vision maxi series [01:19 AM] Bocaj: The one where Vision dry humps a mystical pregnancy into Wanda [01:19 AM] Wack'd: Was it ever really time for deception at all? Signs point to "no"

[01:20 AM] Wack'd: "YOU!", Sue yells, like this was a surprise or something

[01:21 AM] Wack'd: Anyway this asshole summons a bunch of gargoyles to fight the Four [01:21 AM] Wack'd: Fight fight fight [01:21 AM] Bocaj: I’m sick of fighting silly fights! [01:21 AM] Bocaj: heeheehee [01:21 AM] Wack'd: "No one had yet considered that I could hit people hard with things"

[01:22 AM] Bocaj: A force field with momentum is a blunt object and trauma [01:22 AM] Wack'd: Anyway they best all the gargoyles so Nick Scratch unleashes his most terrifying plan yet [01:23 AM] Wack'd: "Why're you hitting yourself, why're you hitting yourself, why're you hitting yourself"

[01:23 AM] Wack'd: Also this is a thing that happens

[01:25 AM] maxwellelvis: I wonder if, when these two were kids, and Franklin Storm had to tell young Sue to stop hitting her brother, if he ever imagined that ^ would happen? [01:26 AM] Wack'd: I think if his powers of foresight were that good he wouldn't have gone to prison and then died tragically [01:26 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, they're defeated, darkest hour, yada yada yada let's get on with it

[sumukhcomedy]

Seinfeld: The Show That Treated Race Like Nothing

Seinfeld was a “show about nothing.” It was the most popular sitcom of my generation and arguably considered the greatest sitcom in American television history. Of course, the show wasn’t purely about “nothing.” It had concepts that were strong enough for nine seasons and a massive amount of syndication money and even a fan base that eagerly embraced a return of the cast for a season of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Over the almost 30 years since the show’s premiere, a criticism of the show has been its handling of race. Much like its longtime “Must See TV” lineup teammate Friends, the show was criticized for its lack of non-white characters in New York, a city filled with every single type of person in the world. Such criticism can head directly back to the show’s creative team and writing staff which were largely white and male throughout the show’s run.

Seinfeld wasn’t racist. It actually was a fine example of revealing white people’s uncomfortableness and awkwardness with race. This was exemplified both by the characters on the show but also by the writers themselves in how they created episodes and guest characters. Perhaps the comedy of Seinfeld still resonates 30 years later which is why people still love watching it. But episodes revolving around answering machines, pay phones, fax machines, and an inability to get in contact with someone else immediately reveals its age. If anything, race and the manner in which Seinfeld handled it from a white lens may be the topic that has truly stood the test of time.

When the show touches upon race and succeeds is when it reveals its main character’s weaknesses and awkwardness towards race. Its failures occur when the white writer of an episode unintentionally infuses his awkwardness into the plot of the show.

One of the best episodes of Seinfeld that highlighted the awkwardness of race is “The Cigar Store Indian.” In it, Jerry is attracted to one of Elaine’s friends, Winona. He brings over a cigar store Indian statue to her apartment as a gift when Winona is over and begins to joke around with it only finding out later from Elaine that Winona is Native American. Jerry apologizes and is able to go out on a date with Winona but his interactions with Winona over the rest of the episode are a series of uncomfortable situations revolving race. None of the Seinfeld characters are seen as particularly good but Jerry is still an understanding individual who isn’t portrayed as a racist. He is well-meaning but certainly has had a white upbringing (like the others) and clearly doesn’t fully grasp the effects of racism even with his comedy in casual conversation. While the episode clearly had moments that don’t make anyone feel good for either comedy or racial equality 30 years later, it still was probably the best example of Seinfeld balancing humor with its characters’ inability to deal with race properly.

Similarly is the episode “The Diplomat’s Club” in which George feels he must validate that he doesn’t think all black people look alike to one of his bosses, Mr. Morgan (who he thinks looks like Sugar Ray Leonard) by introducing him to one of his black friends (of which he has none). He ultimately ends up trying to pass off Jerry’s exterminator as an old high school friend. Again, the episode does a good job of showing George’s neuroticism towards all things including race. His desperation to show he believes in equality and is not racist makes him look even more ridiculous and insensitive, which is a main characteristic of George Costanza throughout the show. Though, the episode ends with a black waiter validating George’s belief that Mr. Morgan looks like Sugar Ray Leonard rather than continuing to make him look like a fool. 

“The Chinese Restaurant” was a wonderful early episode showing how much laughter could occur in just one setting on the show. It choreographed like a funny play. Despite the host of the restaurant (played by the masterful acting veteran James Hong) being the start of many stereotypical immigrant characters on the show, his innocence and zaniness towards seating the Seinfeld characters worked really well for the situation.

Not surprisingly, when the show attempts to venture into race in a bit of a deeper way or involving interpersonal relationships and more depth to a character of a non-white race, it fails. An episode like “The Chinese Woman” makes little sense. In it, George’s phone line is crossed with a woman named Donna Chang. This leads Jerry to asking Donna out and relishing his first date with an Asian woman only to discover when they meet that Donna is not Asian. Jerry believes she is playing up the Asian angle of her last name. At one point in the episode, she pronounces ridiculous “ridicurous.” She ultimately ends up giving advice to Estelle, George’s mother, over the phone. This advice leads Estelle to remain in her marriage and she tells Jerry that the advice were some words from Confucius. However, Estelle is disappointed to find out when she meets Donna Chang that she is not an Asian woman. The lines of thought towards Asians in the episode are absurd and insensitive (seriously, “ridicurous” as a punchline?) and culminates with Jerry’s suggestion to Donna that she perhaps change her name. Whether Donna is purposefully playing up being Asian or it’s another example of Jerry and the gang misconstruing race’s presence in their lives, it’s just a terrible episode in its humor and perspective on Asians.

The limited relationships depicted on the show where the characters date people that are not white also are perplexing. In “The Wife,” Kramer dates a black woman, sleeps in a tanning booth for too long, and shows up to meeting her family basically in blackface. The episode concludes with her father saying, “This isn’t a white boy! This is a damn fool!” It’s a strange end and not worth much in the realm of laughter given its punchline ultimately comes down to being minstrelsy. In “The Wizard,” Jerry believes Elaine’s new boyfriend is black. Elaine isn’t sure. She spends the entire episode trying to determine if he’s black. Once again, a bunch of stereotypes come up and it ultimately culminates with her and her boyfriend realizing they’re both white (the boyfriend thinking they were in an interracial relationship because she was Hispanic). Once again, it’s an uncomfortable punchline of “Oh no, we’re both white?!” to end on when you’ve spent an entire part of the plot shredding interracial relationships for not great laughs.

Seinfeld likely fails the most towards immigrant characters of all races. Actor Danny Hoch was originally cast as the role of Ramon in “The Pool Guy” but objected and asked for changes because of the way the character was depicted. Seinfeld and the other decision makers refused and Hoch was re-cast. There was no purpose to the character’s ethnicity being present as part of his annoying pest ways. “The Puerto Rican Day” is easily the worst episode of the show with nothing funny and just seems insulting to Puerto Ricans and even pregnant women who aren’t married. Babu Bhatt, The Soup Nazi, the Parking Attendant at Jiffy Park, Coco the cleaning woman, the Korean nail salon workers, the list goes on and on of guest characters on the show who were stereotypes and, in the case of Babu and The Soup Nazi, became some of the most memorable guests who returned for the finale. Even the people of color who are Americans aren’t done with much grace on the show.

Seinfeld is an indication of what happens with a show with a lack of representation that chooses to discuss issues of race but, in doing so, it also perfectly exemplifies where white people in America are even today. They are uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and awkward with the topic of race even when they supposedly embrace equality. A character like Elaine Benes who throughout the show is depicted as an ardent feminist is still awkward when dealing with an interracial relationship. It speaks a lot to much of the current criticism of white feminism and white liberals when dealing with race.

Seinfeld was the most popular sitcom in the 1990s for a reason but it’s still popular today for another reason and it’s not nostalgia. The comedy still stands the test of time in a variety of ways. Now as I’ve gotten older, an episode like “The Pen” is so accurate. My parents in their older age behave exactly like Jerry’s parents and the other senior citizens in that episode. I also can’t deny that Seinfeld was extremely influential in making me love comedy and want to be a stand-up comedian. Jerry Seinfeld made stand-up comedy accessible each week especially to kids who didn’t have cable TV like me. And, even with a show with adult themes, once I saw Kramer running on a runway in “The Airport,” I laughed so hard and was hooked. The show’s goofiness and Michael Richards’s physical comedy managed to make it funny for children, too.  

But years later, I can look back on the way that race was handled on the show and see that the show is still appealing because white people’s handling of race hasn’t changed much since the world and comedy of Seinfeld existed. The show wanted to exemplify that its characters did their best to try to be understanding of race while also being clueless towards it but it truly revealed that the creators of these stories and characters lacked similar compassion.

There is a recurring line in “The Wizard” when discussing Elaine’s possible interracial relationship where each character says, “I really don’t think we’re supposed to be talking about this.” That line could sum up Seinfeld’s approach to race as a whole. It could also sum up many white Americans’ discomfort with race. But what’s troubling is that feeling is still the same today as it was 20 years ago when Seinfeld ended. If there’s one thing that shouldn’t have stood the test of time in Seinfeld, it would be its comedy towards and depiction of race and yet it has. That’s likely because many white Americans, even the ones that supposedly yearn for equality, have been as progressive over the past two decades towards race as the Seinfeld characters they love.

[wineanddinosaur]

The 15 Best Drinks-Focused TV Shows — and What to Sip While Watching

Binge-watching a favorite television show is a universal hobby, and that was true even before the pandemic. While we wouldn’t recommend binge drinking while doing so, pairing a can’t-miss series with a must-have drink is a natural combination. With moderation in mind, of course.

As it happens, many of the best television shows of all time are also the booziest. We’ve seen everything cross our screens at this point, from iconic television bars to cartoon characters who would handily drink anyone under the table — and even entire drink revolutions spawned by popular shows. The Cosmo, anybody?

Pull up your streaming service, find your favorite show below, and get ready to pop open a bottle or mix up some cocktails with these perfect TV-drink pairings.

15. ‘Succession’

Viewers of “Succession” were likely introduced to the idea of “hyper-decanting” (read: blending, as in, with a blender) your wine prior to serving. But beyond that questionable idea, the show has plenty to offer. “We think ‘Succession’ is the best show television has seen in a long time — from the acting, script, and the epic music, it’s a winning combination,” says Joseph Mintz, co-founder with Amanda Victoria of Siponey canned cocktails.

“Amanda is a huge fan of Scottish actor Brian Cox, who plays Logan Roy, and I would love to share a dram with Mr. Cox,” Mintz says. Not a bad idea, considering that Cox enjoys enduring internet fame for the video pronunciation guides for Scotch brands he made with Esquire. Pair with a hard-to-pronounce single-malt Scotch — only the best for the Roys!

14. ‘Dead to Me’

The Liz Feldman-produced dark comedy has gone through two seasons thus far, with a third en route. And while many shows have unofficial drinking games, “Dead to Me” and Netflix posted an official one before Season 2 dropped this spring. Highlights include drinking twice if someone drinks on screen, or finishing your drink if “Karen almost ruins everything” (trust us, it happens).

Wine is very much what’s being glugged on screen, though you’ll find a cast of characters willing to open a bottle of just about anything on this show. But for a pairing, go with a gluggable red or an orange wine, which gets name-dropped in the first episode of Season 2 by way of a sub-Reddit about menopause.

13. ‘BoJack Horseman’

Everything you need to know about “BoJack Horseman” the show, and BoJack Horseman the, uh, horse man, can be summed up with a scene where he’s looking for a drink to forget his problems, gets served vodka, and taunts the bartender in response, “What is this, breakfast?” For Ben Rojo, brand ambassador for Don Papa Rum, such a scene encapsulates the show’s ethos. “’BoJack Horseman’ is my favorite show of all time! It’s such an honest and human depiction of depression, through the lens of a giant cartoon horse-person,” he says.

For Rojo, the ongoing theme that setbacks are not the opposite of progress is a highlight, and one of the best reasons to watch. “The characters’ sublimation of trauma through substances is a little on the nose,” he says, “but there’s something oddly gratifying about watching Princess Carolyn down a bottle of ‘Catbernet’ after a rough day while sitting on your couch and doing the same.” “Catbernet” it is, though Cabernet will do in a pinch. Just don’t try to go drink-for-drink with BoJack.

12. ‘Entourage’

“Entourage” was either the show you loved or the show you loved to hate. But either way, you probably watched. And the freewheeling, big-spending lifestyle certainly lends itself to some fun drink pairings.

“So, with ‘Entourage,’ there’s one guy making all the money and a bunch of other people orbiting him and starting shenanigans; it’s like Seinfeld only everyone is super hot, and like all my favorite trash TV, it’s easy to get hooked whether you want to or not,” says Erica Long of Sourced Craft Cocktails.

She suggests going just as big as the characters might. “Watching ‘Entourage’ screams an occasion to be a little over the top to me and that means bubbles,” Long says. “A bottle of Moët and a bottle of Dom because Vinnie Chase would never pick just one.”

11. ‘The Simpsons’

“The Simpsons” doesn’t pull many punches with its social commentary, and the world of drinking is taken head on, too. Barney Gumble is the poster boy for a love of drink gone wrong, as is Duff for the ubiquitous big-brand beer that will sacrifice all for more profits. We’ve heard there are one or two scenes where Homer indulges in a few of the beers himself.

Then there’s Moe Szyslak and his eponymous Moe’s, a neighborhood dive if there ever was one. Until, that is, the smash success of the Flaming Moe, a drink Moe stole from Homer. Duh duh duh. If you’re feeling fancy (and have a fire extinguisher handy, just in case) make a flaming cocktail and you’ll feel like you’re right there at Flaming Moe’s, too. Otherwise, channel your inner Duff with Schlitz or Natty Boh.

10. ‘Archer’

If James Bond drank even more than he already does, followed even fewer rules, and generally caused even more mayhem, the result would be Archer, Sterling Archer. The title character of the show by the same name is famous for his one-liners, and none more so than, “All I’ve had today is, like, six gummy bears and some Scotch.” The man enjoys himself a drink or 12.

In the show’s world, Glengoolie is Archer’s Scotch of choice, a drink known as being “for the best of times.” At other times, though, Archer lambastes the use of sour mix in a Margarita, and praises the virtues of the Bloody Mary, saying: “Forget the glass, Woodhouse, just give me the pitcher. For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry god. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now, at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon.”

You have plenty of options, clearly, for your drink of choice while watching. Of course, if you want the evening to be the best of times, Scotch is the way to go.

9. ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’

Pull me a pint at Paddy’s Pub and I’ll be a happy man. Just don’t make me do any Charlie work for the privilege.

“’It’s Always Sunny’ is the greatest show in general but drinking might help you get on the gang’s level a little easier,” says Nick Sadowski, distiller at Philadelphia Distilling. “The show comments on every hot topic in society, usually with some part of the gang taking one side and the other taking the other side.” The show is edgy, delving into controversial conversations that others might steer away from. What makes it work is that the characters have these un-P.C. conversations in a way that showcases their ignorance and obliviousness to the rest of society. “All the jokes are ultimately on them — with them or without them realizing it — and it’s the reason they’re still making the show 15 years later.”

Sadowski says he doesn’t want you to overthink your pairings here. “Rip some shots and drink a Coors or Hamm’s, or whatever you can find, bud,” he suggests. “Eat some rum ham and a hard-boiled egg while you’re at it.”

8. ‘Game of Thrones’

Raise your hand if you own an “I drink and I know things”  T-shirt. There’s a few of you, at least. Meanwhile, in Westeros, the only thing more common than a dead royal is a dead royal who liked to drink too much. Siblings Tyrion and Cersei Lannister enjoyed more than their fair share, as did, of course, Robert Baratheon. But few characters didn’t imbibe heavily in the show, and who could blame them? Living in a world rife with betrayal and back stabbings, murders and coups, dragons and White Walkers and … yeah, that Dornish red looks pretty appetizing.

With the popularity of the show and its penchant for booze, some official options for your pairing pleasure were made available, including partnerships with Ommegang beer and Johnnie Walker Scotch. When you don’t want to go corporate, though, just fill up a beer stein with the strongest suds you can find — all the better if you opt for an old-school barleywine or mead.

7. ‘Futurama’

In the “Futurama” universe, robots must heartily consume alcohol as fuel, and the underpinnings of that metaphor are fairly clear. “Looking at Bender as a character representing the ‘working class everyman’ it’s easy to see why he’s literally fueled by alcohol,” says Sother Teague, beverage director of New York’s Amor y Amargo. “For him, it’s an absolute necessity to perform optimally. For us, it’s often a crutch to help cope with the things we either can’t change, disagree with, or don’t understand. Obviously this is an exaggerated characterization but one worthy of a little navel gazing.”

Even so, there’s room for bartenders in the show. “It’s also comforting to think that the role of bartender is still a valuable member of future society as portrayed by iZac, a parody of the beloved ’70s era barman of TV’s ‘Love Boat,’” Teague says. He’s going everyman with his suggestions, too, calling for you to find your favorite lawnmower beer, or what he prefers to call hammock beer, more properly fitting how he’d partake. “And on the side, Jägermeister! Plus, there’s a scene where iZac pours Jäger.”

6. ‘Absolutely Fabulous’

For Aubrey Slater, a bartender who’s worked at many New York bars over a 25-year career, British sitcom “Ab Fab” is the perfect call back to the neon-tinged ’90s, when “the economy was great, everyone had money to spend,” she says. “I was also a go-go dancer at Limelight and Palladium, and had a lot of friends in the vogue-ball houses. One of them introduced me to “Absolutely Fabulous”!

Slater describes the characters as icons who epitomized the decade as independent businesswomen, who were also fashionistas and party girls. “They had a frosted glass double-door refrigerator constantly stocked with Veuve and Bollinger, and they drank Stoli Martinis like water,” she says. As a perfect pairing, Slater recommends the Stoli-Bolli, a tall glass of Stolichnaya on the rocks topped with the Bollinger Champagne, which was created on the show.

5. ‘Billions’

In “Billions,” the only thing more important than having entirely way too much money is ensuring that the world knows it. Then there are a few subplots, like achieving those perfect moments of comeuppance, and planning new ways to screw over your rivals.

Both Bobby Axelrod and his cohorts, as well as Chuck Rhoades, know their way around a bar. Most typically, a whiskey bar, stocked with absurdly expensive bottles like Michter’s Celebration, or highly touted imports such as Kavalan. By all means, feel free to join in with a bottle of either. Or, just grab your favorite special-occasion whiskey from the shelf and pour yourself a dram of that.

4. ‘Sex and The City’

“Sex and the City” launched the Cosmopolitan to stratospheric heights, of course leading to its inevitable crash back to Earth. The Toby Cecchini-created drink is now often wrongly derided as a symbol of the darker years of cocktailing (when Appletinis and Long Island Iced Teas were the most interesting cocktails you could find).

Of course, there’s more to it than that. “’Sex and the City’ is the ultimate grab-your-girlfriends, veg-out-on-the-couch, and finish- off-your-favorite-bottle-of-booze show,” says Effie Panagopoulos, founder of KLEOS Mastiha. “That show was directly responsible for a huge increase in Cointreau sales in the ’90s, since it was a love letter to the Cosmopolitan and the city it was created in, New York.” For a classic combo, pair a “SATC” viewing session with a Cosmopolitan.

3. ‘Mad Men’

Ah, the good ol’ days of corporate life, when the two-Martini lunch wasn’t merely acceptable, but expected. From costume to set design, “what I loved most about ‘Mad Men’ was how incredibly detailed and on point every aspect of the show was,” says Alex Jump, head bartender at Death & Co Denver. “Of course, as a bartender, too, I appreciate how much attention they paid to the drinking trends and fads of the time, from how vodka was perceived, to Heineken’s role as a newer beer in the U.S. market.”

The bottle of whiskey at the desk channels Don Draper better than anything, and points us to the best show drink pairing. “Of course, I mostly drank whiskey while watching the show, particularly American whiskey for me,” Jump says. “I wasn’t trying to keep up with the guys on ‘Mad Men’ though, so sometimes I’d even enjoy mine as a Highball rather than slammed back in one quick gulp.” A modern solution!

2. ‘Scandal’

“Scandal’s” Olivia Pope, played by Kerry Washington, lives a very stressful life, putting out one political fire after another. And in times of need, wine is her friend indeed.

Crystal Sykes, a cocktail and culture writer based in the San Francisco Bay Area, says she thinks about “Scandal” every time she writes a story with a personal element. “There’s no Black woman alive who hasn’t felt gutted by being a superwoman placed in the shadows,” she says. “So, whenever Olivia Pope, at the brink of mental and emotional collapse, took solace in a glass — or bottle — of Bordeaux, I could almost swear it was cascading down my own throat as she gulped it down. And so did my homegirls.”

Sykes says that “Scandal” gave her friend group a reason to meet up on Thursday nights. “[We’d] drink wine and talk about how no matter how hard it may be to be a Black woman in today’s world, we’ll always be standing in the sun together,” Sykes says. A bottle of Bordeaux it is, then.

1. ‘Cheers’

“Cheers” depicts the platonic ideal of the neighborhood bar, the local, the “third place.” Sometimes — and we cannot stress this enough — you really do want to go where everybody knows your name.

“’Cheers’ is the ultimate drinking show because, well, it’s entirely set in a bar!” says Paul Hletko, founder of FEW Spirits. “It’s a caricature of bar tropes, sure, but the characters are all lovable but flawed, and, to a large extent, ‘Cheers’ was my first view into ‘bar life’ as a youngster unable to go to bars.”

Surely, this is no time nor place for a craft cocktail. No sir. “I would drink old-school for ‘Cheers,’ with a shot of FEW Spirits Straight Bourbon Whiskey and a High Life,” Hletko says. Beer and a shot sounds about right.

The article The 15 Best Drinks-Focused TV Shows — and What to Sip While Watching appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/best-drinking-tv-shows/

[johnboothus]

The 15 Best Drinks-Focused TV Shows and What to Sip While Watching

Binge-watching a favorite television show is a universal hobby, and that was true even before the pandemic. While we wouldn’t recommend binge drinking while doing so, pairing a can’t-miss series with a must-have drink is a natural combination. With moderation in mind, of course.

As it happens, many of the best television shows of all time are also the booziest. We’ve seen everything cross our screens at this point, from iconic television bars to cartoon characters who would handily drink anyone under the table — and even entire drink revolutions spawned by popular shows. The Cosmo, anybody?

Pull up your streaming service, find your favorite show below, and get ready to pop open a bottle or mix up some cocktails with these perfect TV-drink pairings.

15. ‘Succession’

Viewers of “Succession” were likely introduced to the idea of “hyper-decanting” (read: blending, as in, with a blender) your wine prior to serving. But beyond that questionable idea, the show has plenty to offer. “We think ‘Succession’ is the best show television has seen in a long time — from the acting, script, and the epic music, it’s a winning combination,” says Joseph Mintz, co-founder with Amanda Victoria of Siponey canned cocktails.

“Amanda is a huge fan of Scottish actor Brian Cox, who plays Logan Roy, and I would love to share a dram with Mr. Cox,” Mintz says. Not a bad idea, considering that Cox enjoys enduring internet fame for the video pronunciation guides for Scotch brands he made with Esquire. Pair with a hard-to-pronounce single-malt Scotch — only the best for the Roys!

14. ‘Dead to Me’

The Liz Feldman-produced dark comedy has gone through two seasons thus far, with a third en route. And while many shows have unofficial drinking games, “Dead to Me” and Netflix posted an official one before Season 2 dropped this spring. Highlights include drinking twice if someone drinks on screen, or finishing your drink if “Karen almost ruins everything” (trust us, it happens).

Wine is very much what’s being glugged on screen, though you’ll find a cast of characters willing to open a bottle of just about anything on this show. But for a pairing, go with a gluggable red or an orange wine, which gets name-dropped in the first episode of Season 2 by way of a sub-Reddit about menopause.

13. ‘BoJack Horseman’

Everything you need to know about “BoJack Horseman” the show, and BoJack Horseman the, uh, horse man, can be summed up with a scene where he’s looking for a drink to forget his problems, gets served vodka, and taunts the bartender in response, “What is this, breakfast?” For Ben Rojo, brand ambassador for Don Papa Rum, such a scene encapsulates the show’s ethos. “’BoJack Horseman’ is my favorite show of all time! It’s such an honest and human depiction of depression, through the lens of a giant cartoon horse-person,” he says.

For Rojo, the ongoing theme that setbacks are not the opposite of progress is a highlight, and one of the best reasons to watch. “The characters’ sublimation of trauma through substances is a little on the nose,” he says, “but there’s something oddly gratifying about watching Princess Carolyn down a bottle of ‘Catbernet’ after a rough day while sitting on your couch and doing the same.” “Catbernet” it is, though Cabernet will do in a pinch. Just don’t try to go drink-for-drink with BoJack.

12. ‘Entourage’

“Entourage” was either the show you loved or the show you loved to hate. But either way, you probably watched. And the freewheeling, big-spending lifestyle certainly lends itself to some fun drink pairings.

“So, with ‘Entourage,’ there’s one guy making all the money and a bunch of other people orbiting him and starting shenanigans; it’s like Seinfeld only everyone is super hot, and like all my favorite trash TV, it’s easy to get hooked whether you want to or not,” says Erica Long of Sourced Craft Cocktails.

She suggests going just as big as the characters might. “Watching ‘Entourage’ screams an occasion to be a little over the top to me and that means bubbles,” Long says. “A bottle of Moët and a bottle of Dom because Vinnie Chase would never pick just one.”

11. ‘The Simpsons’

“The Simpsons” doesn’t pull many punches with its social commentary, and the world of drinking is taken head on, too. Barney Gumble is the poster boy for a love of drink gone wrong, as is Duff for the ubiquitous big-brand beer that will sacrifice all for more profits. We’ve heard there are one or two scenes where Homer indulges in a few of the beers himself.

Then there’s Moe Szyslak and his eponymous Moe’s, a neighborhood dive if there ever was one. Until, that is, the smash success of the Flaming Moe, a drink Moe stole from Homer. Duh duh duh. If you’re feeling fancy (and have a fire extinguisher handy, just in case) make a flaming cocktail and you’ll feel like you’re right there at Flaming Moe’s, too. Otherwise, channel your inner Duff with Schlitz or Natty Boh.

10. ‘Archer’

If James Bond drank even more than he already does, followed even fewer rules, and generally caused even more mayhem, the result would be Archer, Sterling Archer. The title character of the show by the same name is famous for his one-liners, and none more so than, “All I’ve had today is, like, six gummy bears and some Scotch.” The man enjoys himself a drink or 12.

In the show’s world, Glengoolie is Archer’s Scotch of choice, a drink known as being “for the best of times.” At other times, though, Archer lambastes the use of sour mix in a Margarita, and praises the virtues of the Bloody Mary, saying: “Forget the glass, Woodhouse, just give me the pitcher. For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry god. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now, at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon.”

You have plenty of options, clearly, for your drink of choice while watching. Of course, if you want the evening to be the best of times, Scotch is the way to go.

9. ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’

Pull me a pint at Paddy’s Pub and I’ll be a happy man. Just don’t make me do any Charlie work for the privilege.

“’It’s Always Sunny’ is the greatest show in general but drinking might help you get on the gang’s level a little easier,” says Nick Sadowski, distiller at Philadelphia Distilling. “The show comments on every hot topic in society, usually with some part of the gang taking one side and the other taking the other side.” The show is edgy, delving into controversial conversations that others might steer away from. What makes it work is that the characters have these un-P.C. conversations in a way that showcases their ignorance and obliviousness to the rest of society. “All the jokes are ultimately on them — with them or without them realizing it — and it’s the reason they’re still making the show 15 years later.”

Sadowski says he doesn’t want you to overthink your pairings here. “Rip some shots and drink a Coors or Hamm’s, or whatever you can find, bud,” he suggests. “Eat some rum ham and a hard-boiled egg while you’re at it.”

8. ‘Game of Thrones’

Raise your hand if you own an “I drink and I know things”  T-shirt. There’s a few of you, at least. Meanwhile, in Westeros, the only thing more common than a dead royal is a dead royal who liked to drink too much. Siblings Tyrion and Cersei Lannister enjoyed more than their fair share, as did, of course, Robert Baratheon. But few characters didn’t imbibe heavily in the show, and who could blame them? Living in a world rife with betrayal and back stabbings, murders and coups, dragons and White Walkers and … yeah, that Dornish red looks pretty appetizing.

With the popularity of the show and its penchant for booze, some official options for your pairing pleasure were made available, including partnerships with Ommegang beer and Johnnie Walker Scotch. When you don’t want to go corporate, though, just fill up a beer stein with the strongest suds you can find — all the better if you opt for an old-school barleywine or mead.

7. ‘Futurama’

In the “Futurama” universe, robots must heartily consume alcohol as fuel, and the underpinnings of that metaphor are fairly clear. “Looking at Bender as a character representing the ‘working class everyman’ it’s easy to see why he’s literally fueled by alcohol,” says Sother Teague, beverage director of New York’s Amor y Amargo. “For him, it’s an absolute necessity to perform optimally. For us, it’s often a crutch to help cope with the things we either can’t change, disagree with, or don’t understand. Obviously this is an exaggerated characterization but one worthy of a little navel gazing.”

Even so, there’s room for bartenders in the show. “It’s also comforting to think that the role of bartender is still a valuable member of future society as portrayed by iZac, a parody of the beloved ’70s era barman of TV’s ‘Love Boat,’” Teague says. He’s going everyman with his suggestions, too, calling for you to find your favorite lawnmower beer, or what he prefers to call hammock beer, more properly fitting how he’d partake. “And on the side, Jägermeister! Plus, there’s a scene where iZac pours Jäger.”

6. ‘Absolutely Fabulous’

For Aubrey Slater, a bartender who’s worked at many New York bars over a 25-year career, British sitcom “Ab Fab” is the perfect call back to the neon-tinged ’90s, when “the economy was great, everyone had money to spend,” she says. “I was also a go-go dancer at Limelight and Palladium, and had a lot of friends in the vogue-ball houses. One of them introduced me to “Absolutely Fabulous”!

Slater describes the characters as icons who epitomized the decade as independent businesswomen, who were also fashionistas and party girls. “They had a frosted glass double-door refrigerator constantly stocked with Veuve and Bollinger, and they drank Stoli Martinis like water,” she says. As a perfect pairing, Slater recommends the Stoli-Bolli, a tall glass of Stolichnaya on the rocks topped with the Bollinger Champagne, which was created on the show.

5. ‘Billions’

In “Billions,” the only thing more important than having entirely way too much money is ensuring that the world knows it. Then there are a few subplots, like achieving those perfect moments of comeuppance, and planning new ways to screw over your rivals.

Both Bobby Axelrod and his cohorts, as well as Chuck Rhoades, know their way around a bar. Most typically, a whiskey bar, stocked with absurdly expensive bottles like Michter’s Celebration, or highly touted imports such as Kavalan. By all means, feel free to join in with a bottle of either. Or, just grab your favorite special-occasion whiskey from the shelf and pour yourself a dram of that.

4. ‘Sex and The City’

“Sex and the City” launched the Cosmopolitan to stratospheric heights, of course leading to its inevitable crash back to Earth. The Toby Cecchini-created drink is now often wrongly derided as a symbol of the darker years of cocktailing (when Appletinis and Long Island Iced Teas were the most interesting cocktails you could find).

Of course, there’s more to it than that. “’Sex and the City’ is the ultimate grab-your-girlfriends, veg-out-on-the-couch, and finish- off-your-favorite-bottle-of-booze show,” says Effie Panagopoulos, founder of KLEOS Mastiha. “That show was directly responsible for a huge increase in Cointreau sales in the ’90s, since it was a love letter to the Cosmopolitan and the city it was created in, New York.” For a classic combo, pair a “SATC” viewing session with a Cosmopolitan.

3. ‘Mad Men’

Ah, the good ol’ days of corporate life, when the two-Martini lunch wasn’t merely acceptable, but expected. From costume to set design, “what I loved most about ‘Mad Men’ was how incredibly detailed and on point every aspect of the show was,” says Alex Jump, head bartender at Death & Co Denver. “Of course, as a bartender, too, I appreciate how much attention they paid to the drinking trends and fads of the time, from how vodka was perceived, to Heineken’s role as a newer beer in the U.S. market.”

The bottle of whiskey at the desk channels Don Draper better than anything, and points us to the best show drink pairing. “Of course, I mostly drank whiskey while watching the show, particularly American whiskey for me,” Jump says. “I wasn’t trying to keep up with the guys on ‘Mad Men’ though, so sometimes I’d even enjoy mine as a Highball rather than slammed back in one quick gulp.” A modern solution!

2. ‘Scandal’

“Scandal’s” Olivia Pope, played by Kerry Washington, lives a very stressful life, putting out one political fire after another. And in times of need, wine is her friend indeed.

Crystal Sykes, a cocktail and culture writer based in the San Francisco Bay Area, says she thinks about “Scandal” every time she writes a story with a personal element. “There’s no Black woman alive who hasn’t felt gutted by being a superwoman placed in the shadows,” she says. “So, whenever Olivia Pope, at the brink of mental and emotional collapse, took solace in a glass — or bottle — of Bordeaux, I could almost swear it was cascading down my own throat as she gulped it down. And so did my homegirls.”

Sykes says that “Scandal” gave her friend group a reason to meet up on Thursday nights. “[We’d] drink wine and talk about how no matter how hard it may be to be a Black woman in today’s world, we’ll always be standing in the sun together,” Sykes says. A bottle of Bordeaux it is, then.

1. ‘Cheers’

“Cheers” depicts the platonic ideal of the neighborhood bar, the local, the “third place.” Sometimes — and we cannot stress this enough — you really do want to go where everybody knows your name.

“’Cheers’ is the ultimate drinking show because, well, it’s entirely set in a bar!” says Paul Hletko, founder of FEW Spirits. “It’s a caricature of bar tropes, sure, but the characters are all lovable but flawed, and, to a large extent, ‘Cheers’ was my first view into ‘bar life’ as a youngster unable to go to bars.”

Surely, this is no time nor place for a craft cocktail. No sir. “I would drink old-school for ‘Cheers,’ with a shot of FEW Spirits Straight Bourbon Whiskey and a High Life,” Hletko says. Beer and a shot sounds about right.

The article The 15 Best Drinks-Focused TV Shows — and What to Sip While Watching appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/best-drinking-tv-shows/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/the-15-best-drinks-focused-tv-shows-and-what-to-sip-while-watching

[techouspeaks]

Classic Reviews: Ruby Gloom

I take a look at the bright side of the dark side as I review Ruby Gloom!

I was gonna do other things. In fact, I was going to go swimming today but decided to just chill out. Since I have been watching the show lately I decided, “Hell with it! I’ll give my thoughts about!” Before we do, I’ll go ahead and explain what Ruby Gloom is about. It was a Canadian show back in 2006, based on a apparel franchise of the same name. The franchise mainly revolved around this goth girl name Ruby Gloom.

Ironically the clothing had Ruby as well a typical goth girl. She’s kinda mopey, doesn’t smile that much but with a cute edge to it. Sorta like how Monster High started out. Creepy but with a cute, fashionable edge to appeal to young girls. Sometimes the apparel would also include her love interest Skull Boy, which was another early character that would show up in the series and of course, her black cat, Doom Kitty.

The most ironic part is that in the actual show, Ruby is anything but depressing and mopey!  She’s actually the exact opposite. She’s kind and constantly optimistic, always “looking at the bright side of the dark side”. 

The show itself is just random episodes  that you pretty much can switch around any order, with only the exception of episodes that may introduce characters like Boo Boo or Mr.Buns and of course, season finally episodes that string into two parters. The episodes are of Ruby and her friends, usually focusing on particular friend for that episode, with Ruby just trying to help them, if she shows up at all. Yeah, there’s actually times where she may not show up despite being the title character. Other times, they may have a special guest character that may show up in later episodes and the episode will focus on them.

The characters are pretty likable and they’re all unique enough to stand out on their own. You have Iris who is a cyclops girl that’s energetic and constantly getting into trouble or at times, endangering the other characters. Though, she doesn’t do it on purpose. She’s just adventurous and naive. Misery, who is often a favorite among fans, that as her name suggests is constantly miserable because bad things constantly happen to her. She gets struck by lightning, gets terrible illnesses but at the same time there’s a charm and they poke fun of it. She even helped her friends survive Friday the 13th. The only day when nothing bad happens to her, but at the price, bad stuff happens to her friends. And how she kinda misses the misery because she’s grown so accustom to it.

Poe is kinda annoying and if you took him out, I wouldn’t miss him all that much. He’s not bad. He’s just not as interesting as the other characters and he kinda plays a part of the show I don’t like or don’t think works, which I will get to in a sec. Also, I don’t think I recall any episode where Poe was actually useful, a side from pushing Skull Boy into acting as a love heroic towards Ruby.

Scaredy Bat is adorable! I dunno if his accent is offensive or not. I didn’t have an issue but with people’s sensitivities these days, I dunno. I didn’t find him bad. He can be kinda annoying but he’s not anywhere near annoying as Poe is and he does actually do more than Poe does. That and I just love bats especially shown a bit more positive. (For the most part, aside from the accent, I guess.)

Frank and Len, who are two brothers that are basically conjoined twins. They share one body and aren’t the brightest of the bunch, with Frank being a little smarter than Len. They often get into trouble. Sometimes their trouble will be the main focus, but more often then not, they’re usually a side gag to keep the episode a bit more light hearted during dramatic or less actiony times.  They’re not exactly my favorite but I stomach them okay. They get a chuckle out of me once in a while. 

Then you have Skull Boy, who is my favorite character. He’s a jack of all trades, mainly because he wants to find out who is his family. He doesn’t know where he comes from and I really had wish they did an episode about how Ruby and the gang meet him. In fact, shoot, that would have been the most interesting of all the episodes. How they all meet! You kinda feel for Skull Boy because you do seem to wonder if he lost all his memories, including of his family when either he died or if skeletons in this world are born? They kinda establish he’s dead but when a character nearly does die, they shocked by it so it kinda makes you wonder if skeletons and ghosts are another race or are they dead people in this world?

In terms of personality, I like how laid back and down to earth he is. He’s adventurous and his inventions will cause problems when he’s the center focus of the episode, but it doesn’t take long to get him grounded and there’s kinda naive and most of all innocence to him. You can tell why he’s called a “boy” and not a man because he’s just so innocent, sweet and curious. I also love his voice too. I think the actor does a pretty good job capturing his personality.

And yes, I’m one of those fans that ship him with Ruby a lot. They’re just so sweet and again innocent. There’s nothing sexual or dirty about it. It’s just a cute crush but they have great chemistry  and you can tell the feeling is mutual, even when they don’t admit up front about it. They get close to it in some episodes but it’s brushed off quick. Which I think is best because that’s not what the series is about. It’s about good friends, solving problems and living or in some ways, unliving their unlife. 

Ruby, last but not least is a likable character. I like how she is cheerful but she does have her limits and again, like Skull Boy, in fact a bit more than Skull Boy, she’s really grounded. Cheerful but calm. She’s helpful but sometimes she does get out of hand in it. She doesn’t usually push her way into things and knows when to back off and let her friends handle the situation, if they insist. Doom Kitty is also nice too and I like how she doesn’t talk but clearly can tell what she’s trying to say. I like it when shows do that. It’s very clever. 

Now there are problems as you can imagine and yeah, they are distracting problems. One does have to do with Skull Boy, mainly with his accents. When he does an accent it’s just so cringe worthy. I know that it’s suppose to be written as funny but I dunno. I don’t find it offensive, I just find that they’re trying way too hard to make him funny, when he doesn’t need to be. You got Frank, Len, Iris and Misery as kinda comedic reliefs. At the same time, I guess its because if he wasn’t trying to be funny, he would either just be a typical cool guy that’s talented or just be another Ruby with opposite being less feminine and more boyish. I dunno, I just wish they had lost the accents and tried something that wasn’t trying too hard to make him funny.

And that’s the main issue I have with this series is that sometimes it does try a little hard to wink at the kids and be a little over the top goofy. I don’t expect the series to be serious, but more so do it to where it’s not so cringe worthy obvious. You can do comedy in a kid’s cartoon well and the comedy in this is just not for me, I guess. Aside from Misery’s dry humor.

Then again, that’s mostly a nitpick. It’s a very distracting nitpick but a nitpick none the less. The series does have good and welcoming characters, the adventures they get into are interesting. The animation is pretty good for old flash animation and I like some of the steampunk and goth themes they put into it. There is some good stuff and the distracting stuff doesn’t keep me from liking the show. If anything, I’ll watch or skip a little bit of it just to get to the parts that are really that good. 

It’s a good series with lovable characters. It’s not perfect but it doesn’t need to be. It’s just a fun misadventures with great characters.  I rate this series a good 7 1/2 Stars out of 10. Visit the dark side to see the bright side for yourself!

7 1/2 Stars

Level: Great!

Also, what is with Skull Boy’s design in the merchandise? Do they just don’t like drawing him like how he is in the series? He just looks so weird! They draw the other characters like how they are in the series.