#EVERYONE LOOKIT DIS

[fractualized]

Today in TMWSL #10, we get half our answer and also Joker in a skirt again! Look how happy he is.

Spoilers and violence, yadda yadda…

We open with Black Mask interrogating a police officer about what the Commissioner did with his men, but it quickly becomes clear something is wrong!

Joker (our favorite Sewer Rat one) comes over the speaker in Roman's office (?) in the fashion of a flight crew, as Roman manages to get a gas mask.

And our boy makes his entrance as grandly as always.

With the henchmen dispatched, Joker starts to tell Roman about his complaints.

And here's where I bring up Gotham War, and how I guess this is happening at the beginning of Bruce's 2-month unconsciousness after Knight Terrors, right as Selina is starting to steal all the henchmen and train them to be Good Nonviolent Thieves. Because here it's alleged that all the Gotham bosses are still doing fine getting their underlings and it's just Joker who isn't. I have to assume that because otherwise the inconsistency would be another reason to dunk on Gotham War and who would do that!

Anyway, we cut to Wesker who is collecting clues from the men Joker did manage to round up about where the other Joker came from.

C'mon, Scarface! They're probably doing their best! Besides, you've got other things to worry about. 

Jason, noooooooooo! He's just a lil murderous conniving puppet! He can reform! He can do a YouTube series about mob history!

As for Joker, we know where he is. I mean, one of them.

It looks like, for some reason, Joker is giving this cop Lazarus resin, assuming @clownprince's theory about where Joker #2 came from is where all this is going. Though it doesn't explain why Joker is reviving this cop. Not yet….

Also lookit them heels!

Anyway, Joker is looking for clues about his doppelganger with Roman personally, which implies he has a strong feeling Roman of all people has key info?

Oh right, Joker doesn't know the other guy is back in town. But unfortunately Joker #2 knows his twin has wrangled up some friends and is having his own friends, er, de-wrangle them.

In a way, they're just making room for Mr. Waffles' defection!

At least Joker gets to feel himself in this outfit before he figures out his scrappy crew is already being dispatched.

Look, I don't know what Wesker is alleged to be up to but I don't think Joker has a leg to stand on calling him a pervert.

Anyway, Jason brings down Joker's mood. 🙁

Ooh, I love when Di Giandomenico gets him all dark like that.

Joker does manage to get in touch with Shocky back at the warehouse and tells him to get everyone back there.

SHOCKY ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. … Also who are you and how did you of all people manage to find out??

Sadly AND PREDICTABLY, we cut to the warehouse and Shocky has also been attacked by persons unknown. Jason, Steph, and Ravager are already on the scene. And then Manhunter shows up and nobody has any chill so they all get into a fight. Steph manages to calm everything down.

They compare notes and realize they're tracking the activities of two different Jokers. More importantly, they realize Shocky is alive! And we see Joker watching from the rafters.

At first I wondered if Joker didn't like what Shocky told him and tried to kill him, but nah, it looks like the warehouse got hit by Joker #2's crew. And I think they took Fake Jackanapes because he's nowhere to be seen, but per #12's cover he does appear to be back with Joker. Hmmm...

All four heroes are conspicuously absent when Shocky gets taken to the hospital, but Joker hitches a ride on the roof of the ambulance. From flight attendant mode to gremlin mode!

In a completely impractical way of figuring out what Shocky knows, Joker decides to interrupt his surgery in a new costume. I'm not sure if he had time to change into the cops' clothes outside or if he was wearing the first cop's uniform under his Sewer Rat outfit. I am sure that Mimi does not care!

Joker shoots the doctor because he has not learned any lessons about why he has no friends, and gets to the big question.

GODDAMMIT, SHOCKY– but actually I think the trope here is clear. Shocky did answer Joker's question in one word. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN but that's confirmed shortly, after this hilarious page:

It's Albert, the Knight Terrors son! Reading a Wonder Woman comic. It doesn't look like he took Joker's suggestion to ask for better toys to heart. 

Inexplicably, Joker stops in the middle of everything to steal the kid's drugs.

The implication may be that Shocky's words have jogged something in Joker's memory, and he's trying to ease the rest of it out. And that certainly seems to be happening, because we abruptly jump into the surreal "backer," which has a stronger tie to the main story than the others.

Joker is poisoning civilians when it turns out something's wrong with a henchman's mask.

Joker takes this opportunity to create his twin himself (dun dun DUNNNN) with the assistance of Professor Pyg.

Pyg successfully transforms the henchman into a Joker look-alike, and the fun begins, with Joker using his double to seem like he can be in two places at once, and to explain sudden changes of heart or ability. And all that goes fine until:

Original Joker does not appreciate anyone killing his men but him! (For once.) He confronts his creation when he's sitting on a park bench feeding critters. (A Joker enjoying himself at night on a bench? If only a bat doppelganger was there to join him.)

And we end on panels very reminiscent of what happened back in TMWSL #1.

Is this dunking on Three Jokers? I'm choosing to take it that way (even though TMWSL itself could still go the same direction).

Unlike other issues, we return to the main story for a page.

I had to include both these panels because 1) I enjoy the clown balloon exploding perfectly positioned in the cop's face and 2) like the last time Joker was in the hospital, he's reading a comic and replacing the story that's in there with something in his head.

But here it is! Half the mystery solved: Joker himself made his doppelganger! Which raises questions like "why?" and "how?" and "when?" but look there's only another couple issues to go.

And we can keep speculating in the meantime. Again I point to clownprince's theory linked above that some clone or plastic-surgeried reanimated corpse was mindwiped into thinking he's Joker. If that holds true, which it seems like it will because the Lazarus resin came up again, now we have Joker saying that he is the person who did it. Of course, if we go by how it went in the backer, then it's Sewer Rat Joker who is the fake, but since the backers are surreal and strange, the story Joker "read" in the comic may just be inspired by the actual goings-on and he really is the original as he says. It's also possible that we'll find both Joker's are so mixed up that they simply can't agree on who the original is, and we never get confirmation.

Regardless, we can further extrapolate that after seeing the clones at the end of Joker 2021, even though Joker was pissed about that, he may have been inspired too. It wouldn't be the first time that he thought a joke was only funny if he was the one who told it. So after he left Texas, he came across the mindwipe tech Bloom used in Task Force Z, and decided to give it a try? Except the person he brainwashed would be as vain as him and want to be the one-and-only Clown Prince of Crime, and it would never occur to him that he's the copy.

I'm hoping that's what it is, and not that the double was created earlier and it really is like Three Jokers where there's been more than one Joker tHe WhOle TiMe. I mean, Joker's last line could be taken to mean, "I was the one behind our best shenanigans and am responsible for our fearsome reputation." At least it's definitely not some multiverse shit as implied by that Batman #135 page.

We've got a couple issues left to get more answers. My understanding is that TMWSL stops at #12, which is a bummer. I've had a great time reading it, which only makes me grumble more about what's going on in Batman and Gotham War. "I Am A Gun" was delightful, but ever since Batman's storyline hit the alternate universe, the writing has gone… not great, IMO. So I'm not sure what Zdarsky is gonna do with Joker for the reunion. :|

[green-loser-lover]

more meth snake au (read w caution this could hurt maybe)

we left off with ace having ideas!! basically he was like "if snake likes booze that much what if i find somefin stronga" (his speech is fun to write sorry). ace is a guy who knows a guy whos cousins dogs friends hair salonists grocer sells drugs and he buys(eh..) a bit of meth

i think ace would pull snake aside and basically lie through his teeth like "just one time wont kill yah buddy" "sures i done this before. lookit me! i turned out fine" "juust one time" and snake cant rrly say no so yeah down the hatch it goes (idk what kinda meth it would be yet, its up to interpretation) and well one time turns into two snd two to three three to four four to BEGGING for more meth

basically ace is using meth to control snake.. and it works very well lol. no one else in the gang knows for awhile (he def planned on doing the same to them) even when snake starts getting aggressive (to the gang and to victims), or when he stars scratching like crazy, even when he kinda just stops talking to them (excluding ace obvs) -GRUBBER is the first to realize!! AFTER snake starts convulsing on the floor bc ace gave him a bit to much "pbbbht" "pff whaddya mean? snakes fine he dont need no hospital" newsflash yes he did and after a lot of convincing they took him and the doctors called them heros bc snake almost died! shock all around everyone's a lil emotionally scarred

anyway snakes fine hes out thehospital and hes okay! the end :)

jk, hes back to begging ace for more meth. but surely ace learned by now? nope, he gives snake more and its back to the hospital. NOW he knows better? again no he plans to give snake more meth when he gets out but now the gang knows and theyre all scared hes gonna die so ace decides he'll just stop (this is bad, very bad. ace is.. yk the rest)

snakes back again!! he wants more meth and ace is like "no" so snake freaks and practically tears the shack apart looking for the meth (that ace hid), when he doesnt find it he almost nearly beats ace up but the guys hold him back and THAT!!! THAT VERY MOMENT is where ace finally realizes what hes done was really shitty. so now what? how does he fix it? lock snake in a room bc they cant afford rehab. im so dead ass and im sorry

they just leave him in a room that locks from the outside only and feed him every so often (not too often bc he doesnt want food just meth) and this lasts for a month at most. like they have a whole system and everything so he doesnt escape, ONE PERSON stays near his room always like they can still do their things but they cant leave the shack when its their turn

back to "this lasts for a month at most" yeah it failed eventually because for a while snake is just so out of it he just sort of sat there and asked for stuff (mostly meth) for a bit, but as his clarity comes back more and more he starts scheming (uh oh thats how we got here) so he waits till its arturo's turn to watch him then he pull an ace

basically he lies to arturo and tricks letting him out and giving him meth "imss gonna burnss it all, destroy it ssso we can putss thiss behind uss pal" (oh yeah arturo knows where ace hides it bc he watched ace do it once, so yeah whomp whomp)

anyway snake obvs inst gonna burn it all but arturo is convinced and helps him and snake leaves

JFUEHFUHFKUWE i didnt realizehow much i wrote until now (AND THERES MORE) so ill make another post!! mostly so ur pretty orbs dont hurt

uhhh bye

[moosecow]

I think I realized something. In the ROTTMNT movie, when Raph screams for everyone to retreat after Splinter get’s hurt, he assesses the situation and sees that they are indeed over their heads. Leo’s response of “What? We don’t retreat?” Makes total sense to me.

Raph: I’m not going to argue with you, Leo. Dad’s hurt.

But here’s the deal…LEO’S RIGHT. Not because they should stay and fight, but because the boy’s don’t usually run. IN fact, they’ve only done that probably twice in the whole show. From fighting Draxum, to big Mama, to all the lower end villains, they almost never run in fear. Annoyance, maybe, but even when these dummies are in over their heads they still face the challenge.

Asdfsdfsaf

The first time they run, it was Splinter that ordered them to so so. So it wasn’t even the boys calling for a retreat.

The second time they run, again, it was because Draxum and Splinter told them to, and because Raph pulled his brothers away to safety. Also…

Lookit dis boy! He’s so sad, I wanna give him a hug! Anyway, it makes sense that Leo is surprised Raph called for a retreat in the movie, because Raph is usually the one following orders for a retreat, not the one issuing them. Heck, when Leo wanted to leave Big Mama’s hotel, it was Raph’s idea to head back in and get the oozequitos. I can’t remember a time Raph was the one that said that they should run. Sure, he’s followed orders but he’s always been gun ho about the whole heroes thing.

[theinsanecrayonbox]

new character who dis?

great question! i do not recommend having to roll up a new char high leveled midsession unless you have a clear idea mostly solidified (yes 6th is high when i've only played 2 other classes). for me at least, it was very stressful ^^; i got overwhelmed trying to do a different character for a more confusing class, but then i noped out of that and did this lady instead because i had at least 75% of her thought up whereas the other was like 12%...despite us already having a cleric ^^;

anywhos, Lupe Lunas, but everyone calls her Lulu, the moon bunny cleric. i'd actually had the idea of her a few weeks back, and thought she'd be my primary backup, but then S'tara kept surviving, and like said we have a party cleric so i didn't wanna double up...but again this is my second 5e campaign, i only know how Warlock and Druid work. but i know Clerics (far better than the Artificer ^^; ) so here we are. her history...idk man, she just got dumped in the middle of an ongoing narrative; she was in a debris field from a battle with Vampirates...why would a very-against-undead cleric be with vampirates? (though as i was putting together her art pack i chuckled realized i'd made my DM a liar when he said according to the book there was no cleric with the vampirates when when trying to see if maybe they could resurrect S'tara).

i guess after working on her art pack, and mulling it over for a week though...her family was part of a moon colony, and either their moon or the planet the mon went with was also attacked by the Evil Empire, so she and her family members went out to help refugees and/or find a way to help stop the Evil Empire, so she happened to be on a ship that hooked up with the vampirates' grouping, and then that got blown up in a dog fight, and thus she was flung onto the party's ship as they were coming to seek out to join up with the vampirates. yeah, that makes sense, i can work with that.

so she's kind of a bit nervous, a little skittish, and small. and fluffy.

just cause i like height charts, lookit how small she is compared to Theta, Nyxie, and S'tara. so not *that* small, but still. small moon bunny girl.

i don't fully vibe with her playlist (it's mostly got songs to get me into a voice than her story mood) but hey, at least she got a sticker-charm. i do admit, i really do like her design, and drawing her is fun.

[missjoolee]

📗

Lookit you! Hallo and welcome to the book exchange! (you exchange one book for one of my ideas i probably will never get around to writing) I've been holding onto this ask for a good one though. something unique! and recently i watched a video on the internet (:P) that prompted a few versions of "make it juke" and idk. i'm pleased with them but honestly i don't have it in me to continue any of my wips at the moment, let alone start something new, so here you go!

(Thanks to @preoccupied-educator and @story-courty for helping me fine tune these a bit.)

(Happy Juke Jeudi!)

-----------------

College au. it's a college town and so a lot of houses are rented to students. The guys have a gig at a house party and after the set, a lot of the partygoers decided to play a neighborhood-wide game of hide and seek. So you have a rowdy group of drunk people running all over the place. (i don't know much about the traditional college experience but I feel like this could happen lol)

In one round, Reggie is one of seeker's and found Alex pretty quickly. but they've been wandering around for awhile and haven't seen anybody new and Luke isn't back with the group gathered in front of the party house. Seeing one of the houses has a camera doorbell, they decide to knock and see if the residents might be able to help them out.

Julie had been at the library studying when her phone started going insane with alerts about movement outside her house. then she gets the alert that someone is at the door so she moves to the stairwell to look at the live feed at the door. Seeing two guys around her age looking around, she turns the mic on just as they begin to walk away. They explain whats going on and ask if she can review the video footage and look for a guy in a cutoff shirt. They were polite so she chooses to help out. she reviews the footage from the timestamps of the original movement alerts. sure enough, she sees a guy in a cutoff and jeans running around the house and climbing into the recycle bin. Laughing, she lets the guys know and decides to sit and watch to see how this pans out, already formulating her story for Flynn later.

When she sees them open the lid, their friend is no longer running and he looks kind of grumpy as he stumbles out of the bin. but he's also kind of cute and now she feels kind of bad. as they walk past the front door again and she hears them telling him how they found him, and he walks up to the camera all "Not cool!" and now she has a real good view of him and before she can think it through she offers to make it up to him by buying him a milkshake or something.

He pauses before he accepts the offer because he recognizes her voice from a class he shares with her. a class that he constantly gets distracted in because of her.

OR

Same situation, but Reggie is the one hiding and Luke is the seeker. and he gets a bit distracted just hearing her speaking voice through the speaker and tries to hold a conversation instead of look for Reggie, but Alex keeps him on track. And in this one, he offers her a milkshake as thanks for helping out.

OR OR

HS au where the guys play at a party that gets the cops called on it. everyone SCATTERS and Luke gets separated from Alex and Reggie. Julie wasn't really doing the party scene ever since her mom died and was home alone, and when the cops come knocking, she doesn't feel like dealing with it directly so she talks to them through the doorbell.

but when they ask to see if she could see where one of the kids went, she looks and recognizes Luke. Not being a snitch, knowing he probably was just there as another opportunity for his band and not because of the underage drinking or drugs, she tells the cops she didn't see where he went. but now she is very alert and paranoid because she just lied to freaking cops! she keeps watching the live doorbell feed as the cops slowly move on.

eventually she notices Luke's friends and she wants to tell them but she is also rooted to her bed. (what if the cops come back and realize she was home the whole time?) so she "pssst" into the mic trying to get the boy's attention without being so loud it attracts the cops back, and it takes a few tries but eventually they cautiously walk up to the door. and Julie kind of knows them from school and does the unthinkable and gives her phone number and says "text me. it's about luke". Alex immediately is on his phone and texts her and she's like "he's in my recycling bin. get him out and lay low in the garage. it's unlocked"

and then she grabs one of Carlos' bats and moves through the dark house to sneak out the back to confront them and make sure she shouldn't actually call the cops. they scream at being approached with a weapon which causes her to scream and then they are all shushing each other because COPS, and then the rest is history?

(Send me a book emoji and I'll share the plot of a fic I'll probably never get around to writing. No time frame on this. I will answer any that show up in my inbox so long as I still have ideas!)

[dwn012]

Welcome everyone taking refuge from the #cottagecore takeover it was inevitable and you should not be surprised.

Anyways lookit dis

[the-nexus]

"Deal with my mother. Please." He says this through perpetually grinning, yet gritted teeth, before slithering his way into the next room with not even a modicum of context given. In walks Mother St. Cyr, with baby pictures of a once human Alastor that the Radio Demon can't believe she actually brought with her when she'd passed on into the afterlife.

" Lucifer, my sweet child! Won't you come entertain your mother in law with baby talk? Darling Charlie has grown up to be so beautiful and smart, just like her father, but when will you have a sweet baby for me to dote on from you and Alastor? I'd say you two owe me for not getting it done before we died! "

@radiodaemon

And he is left in confused silence as Alastor departs. Lucifer has no words. Why the sudden need to flee from his mother after all the trouble Lucifer had gone through to get her visitations?

As she entered the room, flashing the photos before Lucifer and the others, the king melted at the sight. "Awww, lookit 'im! He was such a cutie!!" Was it embarrassment that had made his husband scurry away? Was he that unhappy with the photos being shown to all that had made him so...uneasy?

When the questioning of a child was posed, he only wished he could join Alastor in fleeing the questioning. Keeping a smile, albeit a rather nervous one, he chuckled weakly, tugging at the collar of his coat.

"Oh, well...You see, I don't really, uh..."

Surrounding the king and his sweet mother-in-law were the hotel's residents, making Lucifer even more nervous. His grip upon his cane tightened as he attempted to avoid eye contact, but it was hard not to meet the gaze of even one person.

"Yeah, Short King. When're we gonna see a little gremlin from you's and Smiles, eh?" Angel's smile is wide, rivaling Alastor's notorious grin. Even Charlie seemed interested in the thought, hands clasped together and a shine in her eyes. "I'd love a sibling one day, dad!"

"I...I don't think it's a possibility for us. I know magic, sure! But...not that kind of magic."

As much as he wished he and Alastor could have a child of their own, it was simply not in his own power, despite being an angel. Creating life remained in the hands of his father and couples bearing the ability to reproduce.

He failed to see it, but his own features had become just a little sad, but he quickly restored his smile, quickly taking notice of the curious mass of eyes on him.

"Sorry to disappoint, everyone. It's just not something I'm able to do."

Besides, hadn't he already failed as a parent once?

[2bu]

angie = canonically pacific islander/black

hagakure = might simply be a nonblack character with locs, this game sucks so i wouldn't put it past the creators, but might also have a black parent as we never see his dad. plus if you compare him to his white skinned peers he is a little more brown, though still notably paler than asahina/sakura

akane = while she is canonically from japan she is also canonically not tanned iirc, her skin is naturally brown, so who's to say she doesn't have black heritage

sakura = also from japan but one of her older designs shows she was once depicted as a black woman and her skin tone remained unchanged from there, so again. who's to say she's not black

tldr anon sucks you're great please keep doing whatever you want forever and ever

@ other anon LOOKIT DIS this is basically going in on the charas better than i ever could. but fr tysm like you basically covered everyone i was thinking of/that most people see as black + japanese/mixed otherwise

[swirlyswirls]

@leoandreeda submitted: *LEAVES THIS HERE AND RUNS* ✨

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DRAWING MY MODERN!ZOSAN AU ;3;

For context: Zoro is a CID police and Sanji is a hairdresser. Zoro gets a new murder case that is located near Sanji’s salon. Sanji totally doesn’t need a Marimo cop to protect him while there’s a cold-blooded murderer on the loose.

[sparring-spirals]

Noticed tonight how hesitant FCG was about healing or even just stabilizing the the verdict. Like, iirc they were totally, 100% fine with leaving the rival team to die. Gonna have to go back and rewatch later to see if I actually got a good read on it but. God FCG creeps me out in a way no other CR pc has and I’m so glad everyone seems to be noticing it now

I meaaaaan.... they might not have DIED died... just like. Died a little. ....

I like F.C.G, although I get what you mean. Its fair if this particular facet of F.C.G sets you on edge a bit, because... I THINK that's the point. Honestly, I've grown increasingly fond of F.C.G the more we learn about them, and the clearer the divide between the cheerful demeanor and the underlying morals of their actions become. Previously I was a little hesitant about it, but now that I know the vibes are intentional, things open up a lot more. The vibes being: Absolutely terrifying and slightly terrible in a well intentioned, uninformed way. Which is both wonderful to dig into, and extremely true to life.

(this got a little lengthy, throwing it under a read-more. Rampant speculations and assumptions abound below)

I talked about it a little here, and the more I've contemplated it, the more I really like my comparison of an AI attempting to apply an overly specific model to increasingly nuanced situations. F.C.G means well. I absolutely believe that. The casual cruelties, and moral gaps we're seeing more and more come down to things like:

inflexible definitions- of humanity, of empathy, of people who deserve better and people who aren't worth it. "Well, I'm not soul touched, but you all are-" The whole situation with the drunkard early on. Horses having less of a soul than people. The definitions set the rules, and everything outside of that doesn't matter.

very specific rules or solutions applied to situations that they don't fit on- attempting to give couples therapy to two random strangers, asking ritual questions and providing canned lines as comfort to people who aren't asking for it. Even the mind delve from this last episode- is almost like some kind of fucked up diagnostic, I guess.

And then, as a result, some of the more jarring behavior just feels like prioritization, with very specific models and rules in mind. The Verdict are less important than the Bells, so its not really as much of a concern if they die (even if it, clinically, would be a shame). If F.C.G's priority is to keep the Bells as a whole safe, tricking Imogen to dive into her mind is a fine concession. Imogen’s wellbeing, even, probably takes a higher priority over their relationship, or even Imogen’s desire to... not have her mind invaded.

And, I've been making a ton of comparisons to AI's, but honestly, its a very real-to-life comparison too. It's every inexperienced person who learned something new and then attempted to overapply the concept to everything in their life. It's why the comparisons to "college freshman who took 1 semester of psych and is way too confident with it" make sense. It's the way someone with a very specific life experience will explore something new and run into problems when their experiences and judgements no longer translate correctly. It is why someone with a great deal of confidence in something they only have a surface understanding of can stir up problems even with pure intentions.

It is not often malicious, but it can be extremely harmful.

But back to F.C.G specifically: I think F.C.G is supposed to make you feel a little uneasy, for what its worth, at least in this context.

And it IS possible Sam is planning to go a "silently evil and plotting murderbot" route, but I'm hoping for something closer to *points above*, if only because. I dunno. I find that more compelling. Plus he's a cute lil robit who loves his friends awww lookit :'D

[kushami-hime]

bro… my body my choice. don’t tell me i have to get a substance injected into my body when it literally doesn’t affect you at all. if u want the vaccine, then u get it. then you’re protected and shouldn’t care what i choose to do. and if u believe the vaccine doesn’t protect u, then there’s no reason to force it on everyone else. and same thing for masks, u wear one if u want, but don’t be forcing that on others. medical freedom is still a thing and should be cheered for. i’m sorry to rant but like wtf??? why would u be mad ur job is respecting its employees freedom??? (btw i’m 20 and think this so it’s not a generational thing, it’s a medical rights/freedom thing.) like seriously can u explain why ur mad? how does other people choosing whether or not to get the vaccine effect u at all??

Bro IM FINALLY IN THE ANON HATE CLUB! omg I thought I was too unpopular but lookit!

Let me be clear, I don't care if you don't get it or not. And I never said people should get it against their will or PERISH- What bothered me was that people were cheering to not get the vaccine when their fellow coworkers have up and died from covid, so like...I'm just frazzled that people still aren't taking this entire thing seriously to begin with

I'm sorry but I trust science more than I trust the strangers I work with every day

[lunarblazes]

OKAY SO. slb lore. cracks my knuckles lets go:

this lil blue bitch right here? their name is strive. their planet (moebius, yes named after the famous artist) is dying because these crazy triangle ship things stole all the starlight from them and now everything’s dying. the thieves are named The Void.

^^ seen here. they’re being bastards, killing planets, stealing stars, and fighting wars. that’s The Void.

anyway strive’s all sad about the stars and shit but THEN. A STAR APPEARS. AND THEY RUN AFTER IT WITH AN ANGSTY GLANCE BACK AT THEIR ELDER.

(again if you compare them to my grian design i’ll kill you that’s bullying you’re bullying me)

strive goes to investigate the fallen star and finds Holy Shit! That’s Not A Star! it’s a whole ass void ship that’s crashed down into their front yard! they touch it and BOOM they get sucked inside of it by some Magic and it shapes itself into a custom ship for them and blasts the fuck off. bye moebius rest in fuck i guess.

strive goes through a GOD DAMN SHIP GRAVEYARD that surrounds moebius when they get a message from a smiling mustache guy! it’s the intergalactic band members of twrp and the brigadiers who are fighting the void together!

lookit them all at this table. isn’t that nice. the robot one is havve hogan, the orange traffic cone man is doctor sung, the ninja one is ninja brian (he’s not in twrp but it’s complicated), the furry is commander meouch, and the red one is lord phobos! they all have lore too but it’s insane and not related to the mv SO we’re moving past it. (the lady in the helmet is an unnamed oc for the video; in the fandom we called her captain elle, after the animator who designed her— elle power!)

oh SHIT The Void is attacking. that’s not good! the brigade assumes attack position! everyone fights The Void fleet with everything they have to prevent more stars from being stolen. interestingly, strive’s ship is the only one without weapons (the rest of the brigade has weapons and controls tied to their instruments, i believe), and so they have to resort to making the voidships fight each other. the brigade tries to find their way to destroy the Main Dorito, but there’s a shield! oh no! strive is shot down and legit fucking dies.

like legit fucking dies. but it’s an anime death and they’re fine and they wake up all glowy and cool with Sick Anime Hair and enough power to ram the FUCK out of that Dorito Shield.

they get in! and then they’re all sucked INTO the Ultimate Dorito and have to fly through so that’s pretty crazy.

look at how crazy that fucking shot is. they’re going through what i like to call “the black and gray” because it’s a line in the song :^)

anyway the Ultimate Dorito is no match for the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP. that shit explodes and all the stars are returned to the galaxy! strive is accepted as part of the now intergalactic hero band: THE STARLIGHT BRIGADE.

and that’s the BASIC plot. i have like a billion hcs but that’s the gist of it! some details from the patreon posts:

strive is meant to be somewhere around 16-21 but they could be any younger or older depending on the viewer’s interpretation!

the void is controlled by a huge hivemind that commands all the ships. there aren’t any void pilots for this reason, though some people do suspect that there is a queen.

moebians are based on starlings, and have little feather-styled ears! (NO GRIAN. NONE WHATSOEVER. I AM BEATING MYSELF W A STICK.) they can have different facial markings and skin tones. the crystals in their chests are suspected to be tied to their hope or starlight intake; either way, strive is the only one whose light is still intact at the time of their departure.

THERE’S MORE BUT I GET HCS AND CANON MIXED UP A LOT. WHEN I TELL YOU THAT WE MADE OUR OWN CANON WE REALLY REALLY DID.

[rikalovesrice]

My Thoughts on Trollhunters : Rise of the Titans

WARNING : ALL THE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

.

.

.

Mmmmm. Okay. So I just finished the movie. I’m fatigued as always so this’ll be a bit of a mess lol. Gotta spew the thoughts while they’re still fresh, y’all know how it is.

Right out the gate, I definitely want to talk about the things I loved.

The animation was, of course, phenomenal and gorgeous!

Voice acting was incredible as always

MUSIC SLAPPED

Douxie. I just loved seeing Douxie again and honestly kept my eyes trained on him for most the of movie lol

OK DOUXIE AND NARI SWITCHING?? BODIES??? Definitely didn’t see that coming and I legit started screaming lol

Nari in Douxie’s body is the most precious, chaotic, and wholesome thing like holy cow that was so adorable LOOKIT DOUXIE CROUCHING AND CRAWLING AROUND ON ALL FOURS WITH THOSE NOODLE LIMBS OF HIS I CAN’T --

We called Nari’s mind control and Douxie trying to reason with her!

In the very few scenes they were together, Douxie’s love and affection for Nari really came through. You could really feel how much he cared about her. ALSO THAT TENDER HUG AND NARI’S LITTLE HAPPY SQUEAK MY HEART NO--

Loved Barbara. Always love Barbara.

Walter and Barbara getting engaged

Nomura back in action

Claire being the powerful sorceress she’s become

Loved seeing Aja, Krel, and Varvatos all together again.

NARI VS SKRAEL WAS ALL SORTS OF EPIC AND CRUSHING EMOTIONS.

The way Douxie yelled Nari’s name and ran to her after she died and the remnants of her magic falling all around him, like she was saying goodbye, just *UGLY CRYING*

It was so cool to see Charlie out of his den and flying about like the mighty dragon he is

Loved the Guardians of Arcadia pulling Excaliber out together.

All the gang all going after Bellroc together

YES JIM MY BOOOOOOY

BLINKY DIDN’T DIE

Aarrgh I love you so much

Stuart, what a bro!

We saw a hint of mercy in Bellroc towards the end.

Toby’s death... That was a huge curveball. Jim might as well have cut my heart out with Excaliber as he sobbed over his best friend.

Uh.....um....and.....Er...what else........ .___.

..........Alright so.......It’s about to get a bit brutal from here on out as I talk about the things I didn’t like at all. And the really sad thing is, at least to me, the cons far outweigh the pros in this movie. Because I’m actually having difficulty picking out things I enjoyed, they were so few and far between...which really sucks.

So here we go.

Gosh, where to begin... I guess I’ll go ahead and say this : I’m really disappointed. 

Like as I’m here typing this, I’m just thinking, “...That was it? That was the movie?? The big finale???”

So much of this movie just felt....unnecessary. I hate to say almost like filler. The entire intro re-caping the series really wasn’t needed. And then Toby went and restated it all again when he was being interrogated. The pacing, oh my gosh...Guys, the pacing in this movie was not good. The action started and it never seemed to stop. There wasn’t a single moment of rest, of levity, of our characters just being themselves, getting to know each other, being friends outside of the battle. No Reckless Club Segment. No fun, just... I mean Claire and Aja didn���t speak to each other at all. Douxie and Toby hardly interacted. Steve was turned into a gross male pregnancy joke. Jim and Krel barely spoke. Douxie and Aja had nothing to say to each other. Even Aja and Krel didn’t have any moments together. The list goes on. The whole movie was just go, go, go. And it’s so frustrating because there was time for it but it was poorly executed.

Like was the whole break-in to the Chinese Trollmarket really necessary?? Guys, I really found myself not caring. I didn’t care to see this random side quest involving an insignificant new troll character and a Trollmarket that had little to no bearing on the plot. Did I love seeing Charlie, Archie, Blinky, and Claire? Of course! But these scenes were so pointless. So needless. They could’ve written other ways for all our heroes to go after the chronosphere (Maybe we could’ve had Zoe for crying out loud). But instead this vital artifact was the hands of a character we don’t know and don’t care about in a place that turned out to have basically nothing to do with anything.

Deaths. The deaths in this movie. Because of the pacing in this movie, there wasn’t nearly enough time for the emotional impacts to sink in. Nomura? Gone and the only ones mourning her are Aaarrgh and Douxie, who barely knew her. Walter’s death was handled better since we got to see Jim and Barbara actually having a moment to mourn him. The weight of Nari’s death was singlehandedly carried by Douxie, but even that was over before it started. The immense gravity of Toby’s death, which really got to me, was also short-lived to make way for an ending that...I don’t know. 

ALSO DOUXIE JUST??? BEING OKAY WITH HIS FAMILIAR, THE ONE WHO RAISED HIM AND WENT THROUGH SO MUCH WITH HIM FOR CENTURIES, LEAVING HIM FOREVER TO BE TRAPPED IN THAT DUMB TROLLMARKET WITH CHARLIE LIKE???

“I hope he’s happy.”

WHAT. THE. EVERLASTING. FRICK. 

Douxie’s reaction objectively doesn’t make a shred of sense. Geez, it’s almost like Douxie was expecting Archie to up and leave him someday to be with Charlegmane. Just...what???

What also frustrates me so much is how this movie undid so much characterization and development that happened in Wizards. Or more like all that development didn’t even matter.

What was the point of Steve’s arc in Wizards if he was just going to be reduced to...this?

I was so excited to see Douxie really being a Master Wizard. To see him lead the Guardians of Arcadia alongside Jim. To see him in action as Successor to Merlin and Protector of this Realm.

But no.

Douxie, who had such an incredible arc in Wizards and a character who’s come to mean so much to me in my life, was nerfed and sidelined.

And then time restarts and I can’t help but wonder why any of this mattered at all. What the heck was the freaking point of the suffering, the loss, the pain, the growth, enduring and overcoming so much, the friendships and family spanning across three shows... All gone. Starting all over. Undoing everything, except what Jim went through. As much as I love Jim, I didn’t think he’d be the only character I’d be getting closure for at the grand finale of this entire franchise. But that’s what happened and I really hate it.

Just...all in all, this movie wasn’t satisfying. Not to me. It had its good moments. But not nearly enough. The comedy was misplaced and fell flat. The climax was sorely anticlimactic and didn’t hold a candle to Eternal Knight. The writing, the direction, characterization...For some reason it was all lost and confused and none of it felt right and so much didn’t make sense.

I’m not at all upset with the writers, though, because they still pulled through and did what they could. When the movie did something right, it was beautiful. The things I loved about it I truly adored. No, I’m not upset in the least bit with any of the creative team.

I’m upset with Netflix. I’m upset that Wizards was robbed of the seasons it should’ve had. I’m upset with big cooperations stifling creators. I’m upset that this’ll be it. This is the ending we got and nothing can be done about it.

Aaron did say there’s every possibility for the franchise to continue in some capacity, and I’m hoping for that someday. Because so much, too much, has been left unanswered. So much left to be explored that couldn’t. But until then....I guess this is it. This is what we get.

Now, I want to remind everyone that this is my own personal experience with the movie. These are all my opinions. If you enjoyed every second the movie, that’s wonderful! And who knows how my thoughts will change upon another viewing. But in the meantime, Rise of the Titans really missed the mark for me. I wanted found family badassery and fluff. But nope. Just fighting and heaviness and no payoff. It’s such a letdown...a real shame. 

But yeah...Thanks to any and everyone who read to the end of this haha

I still love Tales of Arcadia. It’s a series that has blessed and inspired me so much as an artist, writer, and as a person in general. I do want to keep making ToA content for a while. Cause this movie isn’t the end. Not my ending, at least.

I’ll continue to hope for more Tales of Arcadia in the future (a Douxie spin-off series please Lord pleaaase). We shall see. Until then, fics and fanart fixing this mess galore haha

Until next time everyone! God bless!

[sillyman-inc]

Not a day goes by where I don’t think about Vivinos’s Pink Bitch Club animation and song.

LIKE IT SLAPS OHMYGOD

Also lookit this cute lil animated bit they made!!

CW: glitches in audio

While yes, a lot of what vivinos does is horror content, some of it is safe and just cute. A LOT of it is horror content where it tells an overarching story.

Spoilers below

TW: animal death and regular death mentions

I just want you guys to know before you get attached that this dog dies. And everyone in PBC except for Minako dies. Cause. Minako kills all of them. I dunno why she does this??? But. Yk she does. And in the Minako’s room short, Minako wears Gyaruko’s clothes after she’s dead and??? I don’t get why she kills her?? Also Poochie being a dog had dug up Gyaruko’s body and was walking around with her arm in his mouth. So Minako had killed dog. for TT and Charlotte I don’t know why Minako had killed them. Other than. A cool outfit change ig??? Like Alr.

!!TW DONE!!

Anyways!! There’s a lot of vivinos videos explained and they’re really good to watch, and if you like horror content you’d like Vivinos! their animations are really good. Also the animation of Poochie (the dog) is from the PBC animation!

[coffeebeannate]

Nate Watches Things: A Saga

Or in this case, one thing. One thing that was far too long of a thing, but such a bizarre venture that I felt rather compelled to put an actual review of said thing together.

Why? Because I can and because others HAVE to experience this..this journey. A nice lil journey called Die Pfeiler der Macht/ A Dangerous Fortune. And I watched it solely because Luca looks cute in Victorian clothes, and I was intrigued by the gifs.

Curiosity has always been such a great human motivator, eh?

And..guys. I just. I don’t know what the 3-4 hours (it’s two movies, and I took a couple days to watch it) WERE, exactly, but they were..a thing? I know that it’s based on a book by Ken Follett and that this production is German. Despite being based in England. 

Oh, and Luca’s character Mickey Miranda, is uh, Spanish. Make of that what you will.

So the summary is this:

A shocking secret behind a young boys death leads to three generations of treachery in this breathtaking saga of love, power and revenge, set amid the wealth and decadence of Victorian England.

And no it does not do this thing justice whatsoever.

Review under the cut. It’s too long *again, two movies here*, and I took far too many screencaps of this absolute wtfery, and uh, it’s probably better suited for a real-time live blog but nah. You can have this instead.

Some images under the cut are NSFW because nefarious boning is a key point in this..thing.

SPOILERS. So many spoilers. This thing is a spoiler fest. The caps have a very obvious Luca bias, I know why we’re here everyone. Hehe. There’s also some triggering stuff in this thing, so be warned there too.

BEHOLD:

So, a point I want to make is that the costuming in this movie is LEGIT. If absolutely nothing else works? Note that the costuming absolutely does.

The opening credits are very nice, Luca’s very pretty, this cap serves purely to showcase that because I’m a very serious man doing a very serious review.

Pretty.

So the beginning is..confusing. We have a girl, Maisie Robinson. (Around 10-13 here?) Her father is very poor and it’s her and her two siblings. He works for a man who is part of our main characters, the Pilasters?  and they run this bank. The head of the bank commits suicide, since they’re having financial troubles and he cannot repay his workers. He pens a note to his young son *under 12 at this point*, Hugh. 

Hugh never finds out about this letter, but anyway. At the moment, it’s 1866. Maisie’s father was one of those employees. Destitute, he leaves Maisie to..raise her siblings, and goes to America.

We never hear from this man again.

Hugh goes to live with his aunt (Augusta/Augustina?), uncle Joseph, and cousins, Edward and Clara.

THEN IT’S 1877 (we jump ten years)

Maisie’s two siblings have died, and she has a daughter, Rachel now. Who is also dying. This movie is very keen on people dying. I’d also like to point out that there is like, endless plots all happening alongside one another, and it took me until mid-way into part two to even really grasp what the main plot is.

The movie has a LOT of bank talk as well. I cannot express this earnestly enough, there is SO MUCH bank chatter. SO MUCH. This thing does not have to be as long as it is but again, bank stuff.

Anyway, the one plot is that Maisie is from the poor area, she’s had a horrible life and has struggled from day one. She’s in a constant battle with Hugh, and they argue a lot. A lot. (They like each other, they met as kids, but they’re from very different worlds. Hugh has money, she doesn’t, but Hugh has suffered as well and basically it’s your normal class struggle social commentary thing).

Maisie and Hugh in 1866, as kids, after Maisie’s father left for America. This is the funeral for Hugh’s father. So that’s the theme I mean.

Anywho.

Back in 1877, this is Samuel *left*, Joseph *middle* and Edward. The Pilaster’s get marched into work like they’re freaking army Captain’s and not just rich ass bankers. Imagine saluting your CEO. At work. Outside of the military. WHERE IS THIS A THING? Maybe this was a thing in Victorian England I have no clue I’ve certainly never come across it in my studies. Ffs.

Anyway.

So while all this is going on, there’s this man that wants to marry Maisie. 

And his name is,

(That’s Rachel, Maisie’s daughter). Anyway, Solly here loves Maisie and wants to marry her. But Maisie loves Hugh, and neither of them realize this yet. Solly is a himbo and we mostly like him, but stay tuned because that doesn’t stick. Sorta. Depends on how-

Nevermind I’ll just keep going.

ANYWAY, more plot.

Here’s Edward again, doing drugs, being gay, and overall..useless. Edward is..Edward is kind of like a person who would make an interesting wall decoration. Fun enough to look at, but utterly freaking hopeless, and useless, and so dumb. Just so dumb. This character is given the substance of ash fault. Kinda like, only vaguely solid enough to be entertaining. Kinda.

I don’t know guys, BUT LOOK!

It’s his good old pal Mickey! And he’s slapped Edward awake out of his drug coma (okay he grabs his face and shakes him rather than slapping but given how much slapping happens in the rest of this movie I think I can be forgiven) and he has PLOTS.

Mostly it’s his dads plot, but it’s a plot. A very devious scheme and he needs our favourite wallpapers assistance!

(Sorry Edward, but it’s true)

So keeping in mind that the ‘theme’ of this movie is bone-and-soul crushing sadness paired with periods of intense chaos and insanity that  you never see coming, our plots continue to thicken.

What Mickey means here, is that Edward’s family denied Mickey’s father what he wanted *weapons deal*, and beat the crap out of Mickey in a carriage. But that’s fine that’s fine Mickey is not deterred! BECAUSE.

*sigh*

So.

OK.

This scene.

Remember what I said about how this movie goes from being incredibly boring to so off the walls bonkers without actually WARNING YOU that it is going to do this? Yeah.

Edward, you see, really does not ‘do’ women. He’s gay. He’s extremely gay. Edward’s mother wants him to marry Florence Stalworthy for idk rich people reasons.

So..Mickey. Uh. Mickey’s solution is..this.

What is this, you ask??

Fuck if I know.

Anyway, no, uhm. This is a brothel. So (not) pictured here (I can’t post the scene on tumblr guys we have a ban) is Edward on a couch across from mask-and-feathers MIckey and this tied down woman, with another woman who is not tied down. And this is Mickey..showing Edward..how to.have sex with women. Apparently. Sort of. His lesson falls very flat. It is not a good scene, Mickey’s ‘instructions’ get increasingly louder, and he at one point makes this noise that sounds like a Joker laugh.

It is...it’s something.

(Also note there’s some extremely uncomfortable, misogynistic name-calling on Mickey’s part here..so yeah).

Oh, and it doesn’t convince Edward. At all. IMAGINE.

Around all this time, the Hugh/Maisie/Solly plot is also ongoing. And that also encompasses bar fighting (bare knuckles boxing and wrestling I think? And gambling)

Hugh has gambling debt we’ll get back to this. (He’s also obsessed with getting Russian bonds into the bank, again, the banking plot losses me a LOT)

So meanwhile, Mickey meets up with Edward’s mother.

But why Edward’s mother, you ask??

Well. *sigh*. Something I didn’t mention earlier is that Mickey likes Ed’s mum. A lot. A lot a lot. Mickey wants to take that woman to town and then some, is a very basic way of me putting it and-

Fuck it. Mickey wants to bang Ed’s mum. BADLY.

(She’s not opposed either, at all)

So their little scheme here is that Ed’s mum wants Ed to take control of the bank, but with the father-in-law alive, that’s not going to happen. So they’re plotting to take down the next person in charge who would succeed said father in law, (Samuel) who is in a relationship with the secretary mentioned above, Michael.

Yes, another GODDAMNED PLOT.

(Samuel is fairly unpleasant like all of these people, so I don’t feel that bad for him. He also kinda treats Michael like garbage, and is called out for this by Joseph later in the movie)

So the scheme here is to get rid of the father-in-law, and get Ed married. Cake walk!

(Also, while ALL THIS is going on, Mickey’s got his own mini-plot about doing these things for his father, the weapons and stuff but we don’t actually find out about the main goal of that whole thing till the end, you’ll see)

Oh, and since we’ve not had a good dose of ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ lately, Solly proposes to Maisie with an honest-to-god Alice in Wonderland party.

Yeah.

Meet the Mad Hatter! He’s a guide, he says nothing. Other people are in costume too, but you know-I have enough caps as it is.

So anyway, Maisie and Solly get engaged, Maisie and Hugh meet up at some point and bang instead. 

And while that’s happening, Edward is convinced by Mickey to marry Florence.

So he does.

Lookit this shit faced smug ass grin.

(Also ahead is Samuel again, and Hugh)

BUT THEN the bank finds out about Hugh’s gambling debts. So he leaves. Taking his cousin Clara (Edward’s teenage sister-at her insistence) to the USA. And just like Maisie’s dad, another man abandons her for the States.

So the father in law is still alive, so! 

It’s murder time.

Perfect wedding time event yeah?

So Mickey murders the father-in-law. (He jumps on him, suffocates him with a pillow, gets caught by Augusta and then they do this..weird ‘tensely make the bed thing’)

Murdered.

And then, exactly five seconds or so later..

Nothing like some murder pre-boning with the dead guy two feet away amiright?

Anyway at this point I was just:

And yelling at my ceiling. Not pictured.

I was a Hannibal fan and I STILL went !?!?!?

END PART ONE.

Part two starts out in 1912, and then cuts back to 1882. So in this messy timeline, note it has been six years since part one. And Hugh is married now to Nora, an American singer, and Clara is older and pregnant. (Father is never determined, but he’s a married man and that’s why Clara didn’t stay)

SO the three of them are returning home. Maisie and Solly have a son, David, and Maisie is depressed and distant, so Solly is the one who spends all the time with David. He’s shown as a legit good dad and it’s quite cute watching them.

(The kids Hugh’s, btw, he and Maisie both know this, Hugh does not, it’s revealed dramatically later but we still have so many plots)

Edward and Florence are childless. Edward doesn’t sleep with her. Everyone knows this.

(At this point I kept asking myself when this would end, I cannot stress how LONG this thing feels at times)

So Hugh and Nora meet up with Maisie and Solly, and they chat and there’s more love plots, more bank plots and a masquerade party where at some point Maisie thinks a little girl at the party is Rachel (who died in the end of part one, sorry!) and there’s a fire and Maisie and Hugh make out and Nora and Solly are both upset and it’s a whole thing.

Samuel now does something of a side business that’s unspecified with Michael, and pregnant Clara is being persued by the only man who might be a good match for her (she’s not keen on getting married. But he’s also..really old.) PLOTS.

And Mickey and Augusta are..still a thing. And Edward being chlidless is becoming an issue. So what is the solution dear friends??

*BANGS HEAD INTO A WALL*

Why the fuck not.

Absolutely flawless! Eddie will NEVER notice.

SO with this plan in motion, Mickey sets out to seduce Florence, Eddie’s neglected wife. He starts in a church, and I have to admit, this one line he gives is quite funny.

“I don’t go to church.”

Cannot begin to imagine why.

Also, around this time is when we get the infamous scene about how he fcked the wives of the three men and then made the guys suck his dick one by one. I didn’t cap that since it’s in gif form, but yeah.

Hugh and Solly and Nora and Maisie are still having their love issues. And there is still bank stuff as all this is going down.

But while on his Florence quest, we see Mickey beat up a guy who was abusing a small boy, and Florence see’s him do this as well and:

He looks so baffled. 

‘Me? GOOD? I really don’t think so.”

She’s also holding a baby, and he gives the infant this face:

“Eugh, what is that?”

He also finds her in church again at some point and comes alongside her like this:

”Sup? Whatcha prayin’ about?”

Anyway, while doing all this, he’s still having some issues. He needs Eddie’s signature for a bank transfer (for his father, his father’s plot is STILL a THING) and so it is time to seduce someone ELSE. This time it’s Edward. This won’t be hard. Edward wants him so bad you could probably see it from fucking space.

Mickey is well aware of this.(I don’t think it’s one sided either, he looks at Edward all wide eyed half the time, but he’s so manipulative it’s hard to judge).

Actually me right now tbh.

So that’s this followed by the infamous gif set.

Edward takes him up on it.

‘Come along my dear there’s nefarious boning to be done’.

Absolutely vital screencap below (which is the most we get anyway and I didn’t cap the line about the freaking signature because fuck plots over nice images okay)

Vital

Anyway Edward gives him the bloody signature. And then Mickey goes along to talk to Augusta. But at this point Mickey is very much beginning to unravel. His goal seems to be more centralized to finishing whatever long ass convoluted job his father has been making him do for the last six years (possibly more tbh) and he’s sort of done with everything.

And Edward see’s this exchange. Le. Oof.

SO! IN BETWEEN ALL THIS. There’s some party where there’s drama and then basically Nora..willing gives up Hugh so he can be with Maisie and Solly just..I don’t even know, single dad for life and all. Edward knows that his family has basically been doing shit all around him, and Mickey STILL seduces Florence. He has her meet him outside that night at two am and they get together, but when he’s with her he kinda has these doubts but she wants him anyway so they bang.

Yeesh.

AFTER that there’s Edward again, because Edward knows shit is up, Mickey goes to a room to grab a bag and see’s Edward there. He tells Edward goodbye, but Edward pulls a gun. Mickey just...drops the bag, tells him to shoot. Edward doesn’t, instead he turns the gun on himself and then Mickey shoots himself in a chair.

Yeah.

DEATH! SADNESS! REMEMBER-THIS MOVIE LOVES DEAD PEOPLE~!

At some point in all this, Augusta goes to her daughter, Clara, apologies for being an absolutely evil mother for her entire life and then the movie sort of begins to wrap up.

Maisie and David were going to leave for the States together, but David wants to stay with Solly, who well DID raise him despite him being Hugh’s kid. So Maisie and Hugh are alone and David lives with Solly and the Pilaster bank has discovered the ACTUAL FREAKING PLOT OF MICKEY’S DAD AND THE ENTIRE BACKGROUND THING. Which was this:

THIS DIDN’T NEED TO BE ALMOST FOUR HOURS, GERMANY.

SO Hugh lets the mob inside. We don’t see what happens after that, but Augusta comes in to tell Joseph Edward shot himself.

Lots of sadness.

So the movie ends in 1912, with David and Hugh meeting up. David never saw Maisie again *she’s deceased now, as is Solly.* they talk, there is some moral lesson or something about love. The goddamned end.

OOF.

SO overall?

I don’t know.

It’s a movie. It has a script and plot and..it was put on screen? The costumes are legitimately amazing. They might be the best thing about this thing. But it REALLY feels like Ken really wanted to make a movie about banking, noticed that’d be boring and tried to make it spicy.

It’s so bizarre. So depressing. So many people are horrible. So many bad things happen. So much slapping, so much weirdness. There’s nothing happy in this thing. Not one. The so called ‘good’-ish ending falls flat amongst a sea of depression and I re-iterate, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE SO LONG.

I distinctly recall lots of clock watching at times, wondering how I could POSSIBLY have more to go. It then goes so completely off the rails that you just don’t know what is happening and it’s just WEIRD.

At times that weirdness makes it fun, but overall it’s really not great. I probably would never rewatch it, and I can say that it’s an uh, experience in movie-watching.

A good one? I don’t know. But an experience, none the less.

[jaynovz]

The Black Sails Rewatch w/ Bob Commentary (s1 e7-8)

We finished s1 on New Year's Eve. Brace for Opinions and Salt :P

---

Ep 7:

Pastor is practicing sermon: "who is he talking to? the children of the corn?"

Flint and company in Eleanor's office: "Umm did they just teleport back?"

"Leaving in the middle of your meetings isn't very professional Eleanor"

Flint: Everyone is lied to for their own good

"You need consent dude"

about Eleanor and Mr. Scott: "Well you did just tell him you could handle yourself but now you're bent out of shape that he's leaving?"

Randall farts: "That doesn't mean anything. I bet John Silver farts 36 times a day. Randall could be a genius"

"This episode isn't very good is it? They're just like... marking time until the finale. Like, it's an 18 minute episode that for some reason is taking 50."

"That's sort of the advantage of procedural styles of tv. If you need to mark time and maybe wrap up a few loose ends, you can just have a case/mission/monster of the week"

“You guys don’t have electricity, why do you have all these conversations at night?”

about Ranger and Walrus: "those ships are too close together. I know you're a consort but you don't need to be within spitting distance, damn"

about Vane: "Rise my dirt child rise"

"They should have buried him face down"

and then:

"He's got a floppy sandy dick, I bet he got sand in his urethra. Captain Long Dong"

"Did anything happen that episode? It was just talking in rooms. Okay, Vane killed that beef guy, but it was in the last 30 seconds"

"What else happened? They dealt nominally with Billy being dead, like the bare minimum. Like 'Okay, so, promise to never whip your dick out on Zoom again' and no real punishment"

“Billy’s going to come back as that snapping turtle from Treasure Planet”

"I feel like they really should have voted Flint off by now. They don't really need him to get the gold do they? With him the crew is just bargaining for bigger cages and longer leashes"

Ep 8:

in the brothel: "Who lights all these candles, you’re gonna burn the place down"

about Randall's peg leg: "hey Silver, maybe the middle of a storm isn't the best time to have this conversation?"

Flint: Either tomorrow we'll be able to afford a lot more or

Gates: We'll be too dead to care

"Yeah, my ass this all resolves tomorrow"

"I really dislike people standing up in rowboats"

"I wish they had spent the last episode where they weren't doing anything instead showing all the preparations that were done to both ships to get them ready for this raid. Like before an anime fight scene, you show the characters training so that you know the stakes"

"I want an upgrade montage with the new 12 pounders. We spent so much time getting those guns and I DIDN’T GET TO SEE THEM"

Urca isn't there: "oh no, did they not find One Piece at the Grand Line -surprised Pikachu-"

Hornigold: In a moment when stability is at hand and the world is at your feet, your first instinct is to go out in search of someone new to fight

"That guy said exactly what I was thinking"

"wait wait, did Flint just say he wanted the Ranger to fire OVER THEIR BOW? Those guns do not have the kind of accuracy. This is a terrible plan"

Gates dies: "F in the chat. Just kiss his head a little bit"

and then

"Mr. Gates could still turn into a giant millipede in the next life"

"Turns out, Vane is a masochist"

"I don't envy anyone who tries to 'make an example' of Anne Bonny"

"Wait, so Vane's threat is that he's going to tell ppl that Jack betrayed his pirate pals... and then what? They get to just continue running this small business, being warm and not getting shot at and, as stated, making tons of money? This seems like a win"

Dufresne is accusing Flint: "Do we really have to do this right now!?"

“The one time you’re not supposed to challenge the Captain is in a battle situation and... that’s when all the challenges happen”

"lookit that, the warship has butt guns, looks like a fart. Poot poot"

"The ending of this season was exceptionally anti-climactic :( They spent so much time trying to convince ppl to do this really dangerous thing and it turned out to be a nothing burger"

--

I also thought the end of s1 was uh.... weird and anti-climactic. Here's hoping Bob enjoys s2 better! (which might be my favorite season).