#Early Childhood Development

[fosterwhat]

My home reopened for foster care last Friday, and a couple hours later a new kiddo was here.

We’ll call him Kai.

Kai is 3 years old. An emergency removal. He came dressed in girl’s clothing (I guess all the office had on hand). DCFS had grabbed one of their pre-packed bags — it had size 7/8 clothing. Girl leaning again. Kai is a peanut, he fits into size 18 month at age 3. So, you can imagine that size 7/8 was a no go.

I was told he was non-verbal and autistic, but he walked into my home said “hello, Mommy” and proceeded to talk my ear off for the next three days.

He declared our puppy “cute, but a little crazy,” which is honestly spot on. Though I will say my dog stayed so very patient, given that Kai hit him suddenly out of nowhere.

So much trauma, so many injuries that the child abuse doctors missed (drives me crazy, treating and documenting that is their only job).

I stressed to everyone who would listen that he is not autistic, that it’s just early childhood trauma, that there is so much potential there. (Autistic kids have tons of potential too, but a lot of people sadly find it harder to see, and if you’re not willing to accept an autistic child that’s sad but reality, and getting mislabeled helps no one). He reminded me of Felix, a lot. He was a lot. But also within days I had him on a routine and understanding basic rules. But he also likes to elope and screech and has never had any type of schedule. It’s hard to describe unless you’ve loved* it. Those of you who are foster parents probably know exactly what I mean. A three year old who fell through the cracks.

*this was supposed to say “lived” but autocorrected to love. And I’m leaving it, because maybe that’s what I really mean. That you don’t really get it, the combination of the hard and the potential, until you’ve loved a kid like that

[brutalcomplex]

[princesscatherineblog]

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge visiting the Social Bite cafe to meet with locals for her Early Childhood survey on February 12, 2020 in Aberdeen, Scotland.

[writtenroses1813]

“Whatever that didn’t affect you that much you were too young to understand.”

Girl that’s the whole point???? It’s WORSE because I was young. You ruined my whole social development because I was that young.

[babyspacebatclone]

Another point about “Appropriate” play re: Autistic Children:

A person is going to play at a level that matches their current engagement.

If a person - child or adult - is engaging in play for internal reinforcement (aka they are doing it for personal enjoyment) they are going to adjust the play to an acceptable level of challenge.

And you know what that makes button sorting an exact equivalent to???

image from the Wikipedia page for Sudoku

I swear to the fusion that powers the sun.

Button sorting (for personal enjoyment) is directly equivalent to Sudoku.

You are going to pick a challenge level that suits your current engagement interests.

Some days, you want a basic Sudoku puzzle.

And maybe you want a nice basic button sort, three holes in this pile, four holes in this pile.

And if that’s not matching your engagement level, you will make it more challenging.

And the more rules you add to your button sorting…

Well, congratulations, you’ve created Algebra.

Algebra, according to The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition:

A branch of mathematics in which symbols, usually letters of the alphabet, represent numbers or members of a specified set and are used to represent quantities and to express general relationships that hold for all members of the set. (emphasis mine)

Figuring out if a button is shiny enough to go into a specific pile is more skill usage than determining where to put the 8 in the top center square up there.

I say this as someone who does Expert Sudoku variants for fun.

You need to compare qualities, have a consistent set of rules.

And, again, if you’re doing Sudoku or button sorting for personal enjoyment, you’re only going to keep doing it if it continues to be an appropriate level of challenge.

And the only reason that’s less true for children is they understand their capabilities less, and so will continue to do something too challenging for longer than an adult despite their frustration.

Unless you destroy the link between their own personal determination of challenge, engagement, and reinforcement.

TL;DR: Fuck ABA “specialist” who want to extinguish “inappropriate” play, you don’t actually fucking understand learning (which is extraordinarily sad, if you know how fucking obsessed they can be with being “scientific.”)

[catherinetheprincessofwales]

15 November 2023: The Princess of Wales arrives for the Shaping Us National Symposium at the Design Museum, London. The Princess has convened experts from 21 countries to consider how we “grow, think and behave throughout life” to build resilience in early childhood.

[theroyalweekly]

Health visitors are the vital link between families, hospitals and through to the education system - the role they play in #ShapingUs is critical.

Families today are dealing with so many pressures, and spending time with Health Visitors in recent weeks has been eye-opening and an incredible insight into their work.

▶️ Watch the full film: https://youtu.be/SvBL-vS6qWc

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

==

These people are cult priests masquerading as "teachers."

[koyoba]

Baby Linguistic Inventory Post #1 - 2024-07-01

Today in "things that only I care about but I have nowhere else to post them"- My sister had a baby last June! As she and her husband currently live with us, I get to see the baby everyday, and as a former linguistics major, I have been endlessly fascinated with monitoring his linguistic development. Today, having heard him spontaneously repeat the word "smoothie" (pronounced "moo-ee") with clearly intentional meaning, I've decided to start keeping an inventory of the words that he picks up.

To my recollection, the "using words with meaning" started roughly around February or March of this year, with a larger leap in late April/early May, so he's moving along at a good clip! He's up to roughly 20 words as of this writing, by our measure.

The current word inventory, as of 7/1:

mama

dada [dada, or the outdoors as a whole; his dad is outside most of the day]

berry - beh-wee [berries, or flowers, or anything resembling a berry] [+hand sign]

blue - bwoo [+hand sign]

honorable mention: blueberry - bwoo-wee [his favorite food; he will try to combine the signs]

banana - na-na

more - moh-ah [food]

food/eat - [hand sign only]

booby - boo-bee [milk/nursing] [+hand sign]

potty - [hand signal only]

yay - ehyee [+clapping]

kitty - dee-dee [may mean cat, or it might just be the way you greet a cat]

momo [all cats; one of the cats is named Momo so he has generalized this as the easiest form of address]

puppy [baba?]

dog - da-da

night night - neh-neh [+wave]

bye bye - buh-bah [+wave/also means hello maybe]

baby - buh-bee [unclear if himself or just a sound]

ab'n/bab'n/gab'm [who knows, he just says it a lot and it seems to mean something to him 😂]

please - ba [+hand sign]

light?/fan? - beh [indeterminate ceiling fixture; usually while pointing at it]

smoothie - moo-ee [new 7/1]

Anyway, nothing pithy to say about all that! I just think it's neat 🎉

[falcqns]

im on early childhood educator tiktok and i love it but some people in the comments know nothing about child development, and the importance of social and emotional learning and it fucking shows.

let me explain something:

children cannot gaslight. this is especially true for those who are not school-aged, so 0-4. them crying or throwing a tantrum is not them trying to get their way through manipulation. they are not overreacting, they do NOT need to stop crying, especially when they are hurt.

children are allowed to be upset. they are allowed to cry, scream and shout. they are allowed to feel their emotions. when you tell a child no, and they flop to the ground and throw a tantrum, they are not trying to manipulate you into giving them what they want. they don't know how the world around them works yet, so yes of course a child is going to get upset you tell them "no, you need to wear your coat." or "no, you need to sit on your bum while you eat." they don't understand that if they don't wear their coat they could get hypothermia because they are little and cannot regulate their body temperature as well as we can, and they don't understand that running around and playing while eating can lead to choking. they don't understand things like that.

it is our jobs, as adults, educators, parents, family, etc. to teach them these things. to help them to understand, to help them to regulate. by telling them things like "stop crying," "you've got no reason to be upset," or "i'll give you something to cry about," you are telling them that them, and their feelings don't matter. that they have to go along with what you say no matter what, and that they should be respecting and trusting you no matter what happens, which is NOT true. they don't need to respect and trust you. exactly like how a child needs to earn your trust, YOU have to earn theirs. if they don't trust you, they don't have to respect you. it's your job to show them that you are someone they can trust, and with that trust comes respect.

going back to if they are hurt, instead of saying things like 'you're fine,' try saying 'you're going to be fine,' or asking 'are you hurt, or are you scared?' or even a simple 'are you okay?' is better.

if they are throwing a tantrum, don't do anything. let the tantrum happen. if someone was having a seizure, would you be standing over them while they seize and tell them to suck it up, that they're fine?? no, you wouldn't. you'd make sure the area around them is safe, put them in the recovery position, and you'd wait it out. the same thing is true for children. they cannot process information when they are upset. yes, it might be frustrating, and yes, it always happens at the most inopportune time, but it's not their fault. so when they are melting down, just sit and wait for them to finish. if you need to, walk away from them to take a breather for yourself. when they calm down, tell them you're there, that you love them, and offer comfort. don't force it, offer it. children deserve autonomy. my body, my choice, remember. try to remember that the reason for the tantrum is because they can't communicate what's wrong. they can't explain 'hey, im sad because i can't wear my crocs in the snow.' they have to show it, and crying is how they express that.

children cannot gaslight. they cannot manipulate. they are tiny humans who didn't ask to be brought into this world, and therefore as the adults in their life, it is our jobs to help them navigate and learn the world around them. there are going to be setbacks and tough moments. there are going to be times when you want to yell at them to stop and behave. there are going to be times when you feel like you can't do this, but it's important to remember that you can. it's even more important to remember that if they are acting out/throwing a tantrum, etc. with you, it means they trust you, and you are a safe place for them. just as you learned to express your feelings without throwing a tantrum, so can they, they just need it to be taught to them, and more importantly, modelled to them. the moment you view them as competent and capable, trust me, your view of them will entirely change.

'It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world, it is our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.' - L.R. Knost

'Tantrums are not bad behaviour. Tantrums are an expression of emotion that became too much for the child to bear. No punishment is required. What your child needs is compassion and safe, loving arms to unload in.' - Rebecca Eanes

[princesscatherineblog]

Catherine, Princess of Wales joins a Portage Session for her 'Shaping Us' campaign on early childhood on September 27, 2023 in Sittingbourne, England.

[imaginationsnehas]

[parentingremixwithmj]

Being in the field that I am in, I often notice how many children respond to a lot of negativity because this is what they are used to.

Children are often a product of their environment, speak positively, and react positively and children will learn how to self-regulate positively.

[melmellisuk]

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