#Enjoy this. first ever published fanfic of mine

[bugnirvana]

🤔🤔mike wheeler with a male reader like cuddling really early in the morning and saying dumb shit to each other 🤭 does that make any sense LMAO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME REQUESTING SOMETHING TO ANYBODY MB IF I DID IT WRONG 🤭🤭🤭

🍏🌙”what are apples made of?”🌙🍎 [Mike Wheeler x Reader]

warning(s):fluffy shit, mike wheeler being stupid and tired, dumb as hell ‘i-just-woke-up’ thoughts, possibly out of character mike but whatever, also a lot of cursing. Ppl put warnings for that right?

terms used: he/him, boyfriend

ok I love this prompt so much. also congratulation!!!!you are the first ever fanfic request I’ve ever gotten. my future employers will see this blog and be like “hmm. yeah this is a good employee!”

anyway there is a SEVERE lack of mike wheeler with male readers, I hate it. give the little mushroomhead some love for the boys! I rlly hope you enjoy this! it was really fun to write.I didn’t really have any season specific Mike Wheeler in mind so it’s up to ur imagination (personally I see season 4 Mike, but hey that’s just me)! Enjoy. Sorry if it sucks, it’s incredibly short. I didn’t have many ideas for dumbass shit that would be accurate to the period 😭

It was around 4 or so in the morning and you were staying over at your boyfriend, Mike Wheeler’s house. You had just told your mom that you were going to stay at his house for a sleepover with your friendgroup. You, however, had lied. Nobody else was there, it was just you and Mike, just existing in one another’s arms.

The both of you hadn’t slept at all, not because you were getting up to any teenage activities, but instead that you were just being total nerds together. Still getting no sleep nonetheless, but thank god it had been a Saturday night or else both of your asses would have been dead that morning. The most part, again, you had just been cuddling and being stupid nerds.

It had been a hot minute since Mike had last spoken to you, so you took a moment and attempted to get some shuteye. Mike decided that at that moment, he was going to bother you again from your attempt to sleep.

“Hey [N/N], what do you think apples are made of?”

Ex? Fucking? S’cuse? You?

“Michael Wheeler. You woke me up to ask me what apples were made of?” You whisper yelled.

“It’s a very important question!” he retorted. “Like, I know they’re made of matter and elements and stuff, but why don’t they make apple an element of its own?”

“I dunno, maybe because it’s not an element on its own,” you giggled.

“But like, it’s all naturally occurring right? So why not?” Michael thought aloud. “Like, it’s a compound of stuff and everything but…” he trailed off.

“Darling, dear, dearest.… I think you just answered your own question,” you said, playing with his hair. “Seriously, I think it’s time for the both of us to go to sleep.”

“But like..science and stuff. You know, that cool thing that we like. Yeah. Science..science rocks.” You could hear how tired he was in his voice, not even minding him yawning.

This boy. He was going to be the death of you. The very, very cute death of you.

“Mike….go to sleep. Please,” you begged. “Or, at the least, let ME sleep dude.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll let you sleep.” He said, sighing in defeat, finally relaxing and with you playing with his hair. “I’m lucky that you’re my boyfriend…even though we can’t really be public about it,” he confessed. “I love you, like, a lot.”

Your face lit ablaze, hiding your face by scooching up close to him and nuzzling into his neck. “I love you like a lot, too.”

You found him to be really warm, him finding you to be warm, too. It was genuinely very comfortable. The both of you stayed in each other’s arms for the rest of your stay, facing one another and just enjoying the company of one another before blissfully falling into the abyss of sleep.

yeah I’m sorry if this sucks 😭 usually I’ll write longer stuff but I’m not very good with Mike wheeler characterization. I can and will rewrite this . I don’t have anyone proofreading this shit, so I’m sorry if anything doesn’t english very well. again. so fucking short but it’s just mike wheeler being all stupid and fluffy and shit. Yeah. Enjoy. I’m tired lol this really isn’t good grammatically

[royal-ruin]

f1 fanfic recs (part __) max / charles

other f1 fic rec lists here f1 fic rec masterlist here personal favorites are starred, by the way. everything is complete unless stated otherwise.

i feel obligated to note that i don't read very much lestappen unfortunately so this list won't be very long or very thorough. i know another creator on tumblr @ jennarations published a very long one somewhat recently (?).

do i have to chart the constellations in his eyes? by adoreddaisies (~1k)

[He was tired. Charles was oh-so-tired. All he really wanted to just take a nap. Before he could close his eyes, he felt strangely familiar fingers tugging at his helmet strap. He opened his eyes – he didn't realise he had closed them – and found blue eyes staring back at him.

Max.]

The rest is still unwritten by Snooks10 (~1k)

[Max ran, like his husbands life depended on it.

Weaving his way around the paddock, murmurs of a black flag and unresponsive boring through the crowds. All he could do was get to Charles.]

OR Charles is in surgery and Max is terrified.

I couldn't do it without you by freed0m98 (~4k)

The one where Max and Charles have been married for two years now, and everyone finds out when Charles has an accident.

it was the end of a decade, but the start of an age by charlotte_2005 (~6k)

[The video is four minutes and eighteen seconds long. Max remembers exactly how it goes: the images were seared onto his memory long before he had to deal with each frame being ‘conclusively analysed’ by idiots on the internet.]

Max and Charles are outed in the worst way possible.

*Viva la Miami by Fabby (~8k)

Max raced all over the world and was used to different climates. But there was something about Miami’s sticky, muggy, make-your-phone-screen-fog-up kind of scorching heat that made him feel fucking crazy.

It made him want to strip naked and jump in the bright blue water surrounding his hotel.

It made him want to fuck.

OR: Max and Charles hook up for the first time, and it's very different than what Max had pictured.

basically pure smut, enjoy.

Deserving by WeaglesAndBrobeans (~16k)

Together for two years now, can Charles and Max weather the 2021 season together?

Azerbaijan Abnegation by ProngsfootxJily (~17k)

[Charles stares at him intently, “Last time was an anomaly.”

Not for the first time, Max recalls the awkward swell of humiliation after Charles had told him to stop. The hairs on the back of his neck prickle at the memory of everything that followed, “Yeah, that better not happen again.”]

After Monaco, Max thought he’d made up his mind about Charles, and their little arrangement.

They’re in Azerbaijan and Charles is everywhere: in his head, in his messages, in his hotel room…

Will Max be able to hold onto his resolve, or will his attempts at self-denial only prolong the inevitable?

i'm not gonna lie, i don't remember reading this one at all, but it was in my bookmarks so i hope i knew what i was doing.

*every other sunday by Anney (~34k)

[The grainy pictures are pieced together like a crude comic strip, sketching a poorly thought-out narrative arc that somehow made it onto the front page of every sleazy newspaper. 

EXPOSED!: The secret gay double-life of F1 driver Max Verstappen]

Max navigates the aftermath of being outed in the press, and Charles is always there.

*I'll Be Right Beside You by Fabby (~50k)

[Max stared at Charles’ closed eyes and how they twitched in his sleep. Objectively, Max knew that Charles was probably the most beautiful man he had ever seen. But... this was Charles.

Charles Leclerc. 

Big, cry-baby Charles. 

Sauber #2 driver Charles. 

When did he decide that Charles The Driver would become Charles The Boyfriend? 

He wishes he could remember. ]

OR: The self-indulgent Amnesia AU that nobody asked for. This is my love story to Charles Leclerc, thank you for coming along. Warning: this fic may break you.

*If I Could Call You Half Mine by amarynas (~64k)

[Pierre Gasly, 29, and Charles Leclerc, 27, have announced their engagement this morning in a heartfelt Instagram post.  Gasly stated he couldn’t be happier and can’t wait to spend his future with the love of his life by his side.  Leclerc, who is currently the defending champion for his team Red Bull Racing and on a good path to win his third championship title in this 2025 season, said that he is blessed to get to marry his best friend.  The two Formula 1 drivers were the second couple to ever openly come out and disclose their relationship to the public three years ago, after already dating in secret for two years. This had happened just six months after fellow F1 drivers Max Verstappen, 27, and Daniel Ricciardo, 36, had openly disclosed their relationship. Now the public can’t help but wonder: When will those two lovebirds announce their engagement?]

Max and Charles found a place to fit their affair into their lives, where it sits comfortably between secret hotel room meetups and not-so accidental touches in the paddock. But everything changes when Pierre asks Charles to marry him, and Charles says yes.

warning: lestappen have an affair and are cheating on pierre and daniel respectively. i love this fic even though i don't love the cheating. i had a ton of mixed feelings while reading this and i actually loved that. highly recommend reading it. can't listen to "moth to a flame" the same anymore.

[darkhairedmenrule]

“Of course we love you Darling”

This fic was inspired by a tiktok, so take that how you will. This is the first time I've published anything on Tumblr, but I have written fanfic before. So please, be gentle if this isn't great. This is a gift for my lovely Lou on their birthday, I hope you enjoy this❤️

Laying in bed was supposed to bring you a sense of peace, that you were done for the day. It was supposed to allow you time to decompress, relax, and rest so that you would feel refreshed the next day. But life has a funny way of turning things on its head. While you wished you could be relaxing, you were instead lying uncomfortably in your bed, staring at the ceiling as the day replayed in your mind. But specifically earlier when your world felt like it was thrown into a time warp. It seemed, that your brain was not ready for rest until you resolved this. With a sigh you rose up and sat on the edge of your bed, contemplating exactly how to move forward. Anyway, you look at this, you thought this is going to hurt.

Getting up you made your way out of your room, down the hall to where his familiar door was. You stood before his door for a few moments before getting your nerve and knocking. You heard some movement before you saw him pull the door open. Your eyes roved over his lithe body, clad in a soft henley and even softer-looking sweatpants that you would not think he would ever own. But, even professionals need to be comfortable at some point in their lives. Mentally shaking those thoughts away, you make eye contact with him in his doorway as he appraises you. Clearing your throat, you try and give him a forced smile. “ Hey, can I come in?” You force out, willing your voice not to shake. He gives you a small one that is only reserved for two people and steps aside to let you in. As you walk in, you notice that the room has a soft glow, proving that he does in fact use those candles that you got for his birthday this past year. As you take in his gorgeously decorated room, which frankly smells and looks amazing, you hear him shut the door and start to walk toward you.

“ Are you going to tell me why you are here little lamb?” He asks, breaking the relative silence as he observes you. “ Hanni, I just wanted to apologize for how I acted earlier, it was uncalled for and I'm deeply sorry” came your reply, genuine but timid as you looked into his deep maroon eyes. “ And what exactly are you apologizing for lamb?” “ Well, I- uh we kissed earlier. And I know you and will are happy together and it didn't mean anything. I'm sorry if I upset either of you, obviously, you don't want me to be kissing you” you ramble on, not noticing how Hannibal's gaze is darkening as you continue to inadvertently insult yourself. The words that you don't say are loud in his mind. They don't realize how we feel for them. How oblivious are they? I know they feel the same. I need to fix this, no love of mine will feel less than. “ Do not belittle our love like this, I thought our feelings were clear little one.” You stare at Hannibal in confusion, “ What do you mean our feelings? I know you two are together Hanni.” You notice his eyes darkening this time when he lets out a fond sigh, Ah they do not know, I’ll have to remedy this. “Darling, Will and I do love each other but we are an incomplete pair. We also love you little lamb.” You let out a heavy breath, “ Hannibal this isn't funny ok? I know you two don't love me, why would you?” you say as you look down, internally cursing yourself for being so stupid earlier. If you had just ignored your stupid crush on the gorgeous men, none of this would have happened. “ Hanni I know you don't love me, why would you love me if you have each other? You both are absolutely gorgeous and I'm nothing in comparison.” 

“ Since when have we ever allowed you to talk about yourself like that little one?” asks Will as he comes out of the bathroom, pulling you into his arms. You see Hannibal’s lip pull into a small smile despite his storming face. “ Darling, I know you don’t see yourself as beautiful or desired but you are completely wrong. We both want, no crave you. It's torture to see you hate and distance yourself from us when we are close. Yes, we love each other, but you make us whole.” As he finishes his frankly beautiful and infallible statement, you go to refute him when Will speaks up. “ Little one, of course we love you, you bring us both a sense of peace. You always know how to calm us both down on our bad days or just in general. You love to talk to Hanni about his passions for art and cooking and talk to me about my dogs and poetry. I know that society has told you that you need to be a certain size to be beautiful, but it's complete shit. We love you exactly as you are; our beautiful, strong, intelligent, and funny Darling. We know that you might not love yourself yet, but we will love you until you can. We want you Darling, to be ours for eternity and not a moment less. What do you say? Do you want to be ours?” He finishes his mini speech with a heart wrenching squeeze around you and that's when the dam breaks. When you finally allow yourself that lie that you tell yourself at night that it's not really there, that they don't love you to be pushed out of your mind as the tears leak down your cheeks. You feel Hannibal come and wrap his arms around you and Will, them effectively making a giant hug for you to cry your heart out in. Through the tears, you can hear them say sweet whispered truths to you, and one day you'll believe them. You are so beautiful, Darling. We love you so much. You are ours. You are loved. You are enough. I Love You.

* Authors Note*

Hi Lovelies, this story is just the beginning for these three, as I have many more ideas for them. I wanted to dedicate this to @hannibals-favourite-meal as they are my soulmate and its their birthday! I hope you had a great day darling, 21 will never look better than it does on you. I love you! Thank you for reading 💖💝

[the-alliance-maker]

More art from my younger sister, yay!

Mask (Baby Hero of Time) looks like that because he's worn the Fierce Deity Mask too many times for extremely long periods, and now it's started to stain/scar his skin.

I'm also putting her little doodle she made me bellow too.

Mask (Baby Hero of Time) has a/his shadow following him around. This is apparently my sister's view of their relationship.

(She was nervous about letting me post the gif and required that I clarified that it's a low effort, quick animation she only made to get a laugh out of me, lol. She was correct about making me laugh. I was in tears for, like, an hour.)

More explanations (And lack there of?) about it under the cut.

These pieces of art are both from an AU of mine that we roleplay a lot.

I'd explain more, but it's built off an alternate timeline/universe of @wutheringmights story "Call them brothers". And I'm not sure what her rules are about fanart or fanfics, mostly because I never asked or looked into it and I never intended to.

I make AUs for the fanfics I read, write fanfics for those fanfics with thousands upon thousands of words in them and then never post them or do anything other than hand them to my sister to read. She does the same with her art.

...Fandoms are messy enough without me accidentally stepping on someone's toes. (I think my sister doesn't post her art because she's too unconfident though.)

That aside, Call them brothers is literally my favorite fic I've ever read. I know we like to throw that phrase around in the fandom a lot, but I have every intention of getting that sucker printed and bound once it's finished. I've been reading Fanfiction for nearly a decade and this is the first one I've wanted to do that for.

If you're a person who enjoys darker stories and want a story line with some actual consequences for the characters, I'd totally recommend it. The last time I was this gut punched over characters and their development was Red Rising by Peirce Brown (My favorite published book series ever), and Wuthering's descriptions of a war ravaged country and all it's horrors is fucking immaculate.

I found Call them brothers through my desire to see a longer fic that had Spirit Tracks Link, and it did. not. disappoint.

Wuthering's takes on what Spirit's abilities, character traits, and game culture/lore are currently my favorite I've seen from anyone in the fandom, and I would doubly recommend the fic just for that.

That said, it's not a story for the faint of heart. It's Dark. With a capital 'd' for a reason. Wuthering doesn't add all those tag warnings for no reason. Also, if you can't stand to see one of the Link bois written as anything other than what the mainstream interpretation for them is, this isn't for you. War isn't out of character, but he's certainly a bold take. A fantastic one, but bold none the less.

Plus there's mild mentions of Links being interested in other character's that aren't their Zeldas or their typical love interests. There is NO shipping of the Jojo's characters amongst each other, but if you're the kind of person who can't stand alluding to characters having crushes that aren't Link x Zelda, it isn't for you.

I know there's some people in the fandom who don't like that kind of thing, so I thought I'd mention it. Also, you've been warned so no being mean to Wutheringmights about it!

If you're okay with the things I've listed, please, please, please give it a read. @wutheringmights deserves all the love for writing something so good.

(Anyway, I could ramble for hours about all the reasons Wutheringmights is my favorite Author in the LOZ fandom, but this was supposed to just be a post about my lil sis's art that got waaaaay away from me.)

[bitchymanlet]

Safety Net

Chapter 1: The Plan

🔞MINORS DO NOT INTERACT🔞

Pairing: Levi x Fem!OC; Sub!Levi x Domme!OC

Tags/Content Warnings: canon compliant; problematic; pregnancy; baby trapping; porn with plot; explicit sex; angst; obsession; jealousy; age gap (both are adults); losing virginity; secret relationship; power imbalance; superior and subordinate romance; D/s dynamic; BDSM (FYI, these tags cover the overall story. No sex or kink in this chapter.)

Word Count: 2,491

Summary: Ambitious Scout Emmy Bohn, member of the elite Captain Levi's Special Operations Squad, finally brings her dream to fruition by means of deceiving the one who she holds most dear, her own Captain. However, it's not all smooth sailing from there. She must grapple with the possibility that the life of peace she's meticulously crafted in her mind over the years—the control that she so desperately craves—may always be a mere fantasy.

A/N: This is my first fanfic I've ever published. Hope you enjoy.

Levi shuffled into the Commander’s office with a despondent look etched onto his stony-face. He kept some distance between himself and Erwin’s desk, yet far enough away from the door to prevent anyone outside from eavesdropping.

“Levi.” Erwin perked up, giving the Captain his full attention.

Levi rips off the bandaid. “I’m in deep shit, Erwin... Emmy’s pregnant,” he paused, putting his hands on his hips and sighing, “and it’s mine.”

Erwin eyeballed Levi, waiting for an elaboration. “Care to explain?”

“It’s been so long since you got laid that you forgot how pregnancy works? We had sex.”

Erwin shut his eyes and released a long, weary sigh. “You’re not making my job any easier, Levi.”

“Sorry for the inconvenience,” Levi deadpanned.

Erwin stared at nothing as he put on his signature thinking face.

Levi spoke up, “Nobody knows. Except for Dr. Sieger at the infirmary. Emmy just found out today and came straight to me with the news. So…” Levi shrugged, crossing his arms. “Any ideas?”

Erwin thought about it. If the doctor had confirmed it, then there’s little chance that she’s lying about her pregnancy. Nor would it be feasible to assume the doctor would tell anyone, that’s a small relief to Erwin at least, since Dr. Sieger is under oath to keep patients’ medical confidentiality.

“There’s no certainty that the child is yours.”

Levi scowled. “Are you really suggesting that Emmy, the one without so much as a speck of dirt on her record, is actually a slut?”

“You cannot be certain that there is no possibility for her to have gotten pregnant from someone else.”

Levi’s scowl faltered slightly. He had only slept with Emmy once, and in that single time he had worn a condom. Shit happens, a broken condom isn’t unheard of. Sure, there was a possibility that Emmy could’ve seen someone else around that time… He scoffed at such a bullshit notion. She was a virgin right up until they had done the deed. But that’s none of Erwin’s business.

“You know Emmy’s reputation. And you know damn well how easily word gets around. Petra is Emmy’s bunkmate, she’s got the bottom bunk and she’s a light sleeper. If Emmy snuck off to go fuck somebody, Petra would’ve found out, and she couldn’t keep it secret–that girl wears her heart on her sleeve.” Levi glanced off to the side. “There’s no doubt about it… it’s mine.”

Erwin stared at Levi. “By your logic, Petra would know about Emmy sneaking off to see you. She could be a witness.”

“Petra doesn’t know because Emmy didn’t sneak off. I gave Emmy a late night assignment… As far as Petra knows, Emmy was busy following orders,” Levi muttered.

Erwin folded his hands together over his desk. “This was no accident, I see. This was premeditated.” He nodded, gazing at his hands before looking at Levi. “You realize that fraternization is prohibited? This is grounds for dishonorable discharge.”

“I’m well aware,” Levi answered dryly. “What’s the point in telling me this? You’re gonna give us the boot? Okay, thanks for dragging me out of that shithole, my six years as a Scout have been a blast, good luck with saving humanity, Commander.”

Erwin let out a wry chuckle. “You know that I would never give you the boot. Emmy is another story…”

Erwin considered the possible outcomes. If the child was indeed Levi’s, according to the military code, that would mean both Levi and Emmy would have to be dishonorably discharged. Booting Humanity’s Strongest Soldier from the Survey Corps would be shooting himself in the foot at best and damning the fate of humanity at worst. Although, if he kept their affair under wraps, Emmy’s pregnancy would eventually become a problem. He wasn’t so much of a monster that he would put a pregnant soldier on the front lines. Emmy is a very capable soldier in her own right, but so were many others. Nor could he make her take the fall for this either–it would ruin her.

“Her squadmates are aware that she is sick,” Erwin said. “I could formally put down that she has contracted a severe ailment and give her medical leave. Perhaps it was a flare up from some chronic illness that she had under control, until now. She can return at her own discretion.”

“Beats a dishonorable discharge, but… then she’d have to report for duty after her leave. What about the kid? She doesn’t have a family to take care of it, they're all dead,” Levi said in agitation.

“Then her duty won’t be on the field. She could transfer to office work, again, on the grounds of her documented chronic illness.”

“Then who would take care of the kid?”

Erwin narrowed his eyes. “Why don’t we ask her?” He stood up from his desk with an air of nonchalance. “Bring her here.”

Levi clenched his jaw and left to fetch his pregnant subordinate.

~~

When Emmy entered the Commander’s office, none other than Commander Erwin himself was seated on his small, professional-looking sofa.

“Hello, Emmy. Have a seat.” Erwin gestured for her to sit on the other side of his sofa.

Emmy stood frozen in place while Levi walked past her and plopped down in a chair.

She quickly nodded. “Yes, sir,” she said, quiet as a mouse, then she rushed to the sofa and sat down.

She held her trembling hands together on her lap. It wasn’t often that she had the chance to speak directly to Commander Erwin. Despite only having eyes for the Captain, even she couldn’t resist his charming aura.

But she had to keep it together. This is the moment of truth. She cannot screw this up.

“How are you feeling?” Erwin asked in a low tone of voice.

She cleared her throat. “Uh-I-I’m, uh, fine… sir.” She didn’t have to act here. Her anxiety was so real, her voice went up an octave higher without even trying. She gulped, hoping she wouldn’t throw up all over his nice rug.

“Captain Levi told me the news; that you are with child. Congratulations.”

Emmy glanced at Levi, who had a somber look in his eyes. She then lowered her head, saying nothing.

“Perhaps a ‘congratulations’ is not very appropriate, for the circumstances in which you find yourself are anything but.”

Emmy bit her quivering lower lip. She let out a whisper of a noise, trying to find the courage to speak. This was supposed to be the easiest part, yet here she is, all choked up in the Commander’s office like she’d just seen a titan for the first time.

“Nevertheless, I haven’t summoned you here for a reprimanding. I must ask you, what course of action would you prefer for yourself? I suggested that I give you a medical leave for your chronic illness, and that once you have recovered, you may return to do office work. Captain Levi, however, doesn’t like this plan.”

Emmy lifted her head up, widening her eyes at Erwin.

“I’m not getting punished?” Emmy’s high-pitched voice shook.

“No. This is… a special case, let’s call it that. Now, your thoughts?”

Her heart raced in her burning chest, in any moment her stomach acid could come up, further stripping her of her dignity before her two heroes. How she loathed making herself appear meek. Subordination was one thing, for she would gladly accept the command of a worthy leader. Meekness made her stomach twist in knots.

This is just a means to an end, she reminded herself, fidgeting with her hands all the while Erwin’s and Levi’s eyes locked on her.

Her eyes filled with tears. “I… worked so hard to get to where I am, sir,” her voice cracked, and she blinked her tears free. “To think that… after all this time, my-my career is…” She hiccuped, her voice caught in her throat.

Levi stepped up to her, pulling his handkerchief out from his breast pocket and handing it to her before retreating back to his chair, draping his left arm over the back.

Emmy whined at the kind gesture, her Captain always did have a keen sense of compassion. She gingerly wiped her tears on Levi’s divine handkerchief, almost as soft and silky as his skin. What a shame that her nose was too snotty to be able to smell it.

How despicable this was, and she knew it. After all the times she had been praised for her diligence; for her bravery, even from her beloved Captain Levi.

“I’m not fighting for humanity anymore…”

She never fought for humanity. She fought for herself. For this one goal.

“I’ll just be a mom,” Emmy heaved. “If I did office work, then there wouldn’t be anyone to care for my baby... My family died in the Titan invasion of Shiganshina five years ago!”

“Levi told me the same." Erwin’s eyes bore into her own with intensity, she hadn’t even noticed him blink yet. "What should we do instead, Emmy?”

She blew her nose into the Captain’s handkerchief, sullying the precious thing with her filth.

“Maybe… a medical discharge would be most ideal…?” her voice cracked.

Erwin quirked an eyebrow, and Levi leant forward in his chair.

“A medical discharge?” Erwin broke his gaze away from Emmy for a brief moment as he sat up straight and tilted his head. He then looked at Levi.

“That way,” she continued, “I could stay home to raise my and Captain Levi’s child, without being called into duty,” Emmy said in a lower tone, closer to her natural speaking voice.

The room fell silent. Emmy clutched Levi's soiled handkerchief, her eyebrows knit in worry. This was it. All the Commander had to do was approve. If he doesn’t, then these past five years would have been for nothing.

She would rather kill herself than succumb to a titan. If she had no control over how she could live her life, then at the very least she could control how she would die.

“Emmy… Do you love Levi?”

“Why the fuck would you ask her that?” Levi’s expression twisted into a grimace.

“Well, I’m curious.” Erwin glanced at Levi before turning his body over to Emmy, staring into her eyes again. “Why not one of your fellow squadmates with whom you spend more time in the day getting intimately involved? Why Levi, your superior officer?”

Levi gripped the back of his chair.

Being asked that so suddenly brought on a wave of heat over Emmy. She had a lot to be ashamed of, but there was no shame in loving the man who gave her a purpose for living. If this would help to convince the Commander of going along with her plan, then so be it.

Her breath hitched, her face flushing as she raised her shoulder in a bashful manner. “I do. I am in love with my Captain, sir. I have a close relationship with each of my squadmates, and I do care for them deeply, but the Captain…” Emmy continued with her shaky voice, “There’s no one in the walls who I admire more...”

She winced, dropping her head in embarrassment at admitting this to the both of them, and her eyes had again filled with tears as she bit into her stupid quivering lip. Her stomach gurgled in the silence.

Levi squinted his eyes; a pained, sympathetic look to his face. He’s heard her say it before, but now, he can’t quite shake it off as easily as he once had. This crush of hers that he foolishly fed into led to all of this. He can’t shake off the fact that he’s going to be a father. Father to a child growing inside of his most dedicated subordinate who will lose the career she fought tooth and nail to attain, all because he didn’t keep it in his pants.

Erwin scrutinized her reaction for an uncomfortable length of time.

“Very well, you shall have your medical discharge. Consider this matter settled.”

Emmy released a puff of air as Erwin stood up from his sofa and went over to his desk. “You’ll get lump sum payments for the two years you have spent in active duty. No retirement benefits, I’m afraid, but name one Scout with that privilege.”

Erwin opened one of his drawers and looked through his files. “You have served us well, Emmy… You are dismissed.”

In place of relief, she felt a pang in her heart and cringed as she held herself back from gagging.

“Thank you, Commander Erwin,” she said in a choked voice and leapt up on her feet. She saluted Erwin then glanced at Levi for a split second before turning her head guiltily. She hurried out of Erwin’s office, clinging Levi’s delicate handkerchief to her chest, feeling like the most revolting human being who had ever lived.

Levi sighed from his nostrils as he squeezed the back of his chair so firmly that the wood made a creaking sound. He glared at Erwin, who seemed unfazed.

“Oi. Blondie. Did you have to get so weirdly personal there?”

“I was determining her motive.”

Levi scoffed. “Now you’re calling her a liar? I know her better than you do.”

“There’s no need to get defensive. I granted the woman her wish, did I not?”

“Yeah, but why did you ask her that shitty question?” Levi stood up and strode over to Erwin’s desk. “You had to twist the knife in her wound?” Levi spoke with a harsh, gravelly voice.

“Think about it, Levi. You know who you are.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “I don’t give a shit what her motive is. She’s my comrade in arms. I’ve saved her life, and she’s saved mine. And she didn’t use mind control to get me into bed, I made the choice to fuck her.” Levi leant his fists against Erwin’s desk. “Fact of the matter is, I knocked her up. This is my responsibility, Erwin. End of story.”

Erwin hummed. “That is your prerogative, Levi.” Erwin found what he was looking for, and took out a medical discharge document before sitting down. “Even so, ‘taking responsibility’ here entails that this will remain strictly confidential. I am effectively sweeping this under the rug. If there is any documentation of you and Emmy having an intimate relationship, that could be held against me as Commander.”

“I get it. I’m not marrying her.”

“And you must make it clear to her that any sexual affiliation she has with you is not to be shared with anyone. In your heart you can claim it, though, legally, that child is not yours.” Erwin dipped his quill into ink and began writing onto the document. “She was diagnosed with a debilitating chronic illness and is hereby found to be medically unfit for duty. If perchance anyone discovers her pregnancy, it is nothing more than a subsequent occurrence of her early retirement.”

Levi’s knuckles still against the wood, his jet black fringe curtaining over his aggrieved, downcast face.

“I’ll be sure to spell that out for her.”

~~

Join my taglist @sixpennydame

[nonsubstantial]

APRIL 2024 ART FASCINATION DIARY

This is another post about the art that I've been fascinated with this year. I make these posts monthly, so that I can look back and remember all the things that were keeping me happy and inspired! If you are reading this, then I hope it will be somewhat interesting to hear about. First, a collage of my interests this month, then there are descriptions below.

MUSIC / ALBUM I heard about Everything Harmony by The Lemon Twigs because Vinny Vinesauce liked it enough to feature it on his twitch channel four times within this last month. After checking it out, it quickly became a favorite of mine as well. It's inspired by 60's era rock bands like The Beach Boys and The Beatles, and the two brothers in charge of The Lemon Twigs were basically raised from birth to create this kind of music. They're excellent musicians, but I do have a few complaints, mainly that their band is a four person group that started as a two person group, and it shows. The musicians on their drums and backing guitar are unnoticeable most of the time, or even make their music worse when I really focus on the boring repetitive parts that they play in the mix. I think that it would improve things if we heard the other two members’ creativity shine a little more. On a different note, their lyrics also feel kind of hollow to me, sort of like facsimiles of themes that we heard out of the 60’s pop music that they’re inspired by. Maybe the brothers’ odd upbringing is what makes their lyrics feel like nothing more than dreamy imitations of other lyrics, rather than being something written from their own hearts? In any case, their vibe is really bizarre, but despite all my criticisms I did really enjoy this one album from them. (And actually, their new 2024 album is already out! It’s also fantastic, and I’ll talk about it on my May list.)

FANFIC / CREATIVE WRITING I've been working on a long fanfic for fun since last month, and every time I write a new scene for it I'm filled with a sense of creative euphoria for the rest of the day. It's not always perfect, but there's no real pressure to write something good, so it just ends up being an enjoyable outlet for my passions. Even if I never publish anything, being creative and exploring my own imagination is satisfying in itself, and I wish I had the time to do it every day! (HONESTLY, there could and should be time, if only our society actually prioritized taking breaks for mental health and personal wellbeing over making endless amounts of money and increasingly insubstantial products to be consumed by only the luckiest members of our parasitic upper class. I hate our unsympathetic workaholic capitalist culture with every fiber of my being, and wish that I could fucking end it all, but I digress...) Writing is just so fun. And I'll be working on the same projects for another few months, probably, as long as I can keep on keeping up with them.

REALITY GAME SHOW The finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 16 concluded this month, and I thought it was absolutely fantastic. Now that it’s over, we’re starting back from season 1 and we’re going to try to eventually watch it all! (We actually did finish season 1, right before posting this. It was interesting and groundbreaking in its own right, and it introduced me to Tammie Brown, who is now one of my favorite queens. Then, we started season 2 and I’m pretty sure that this is where the show’s bad reputation got its start, because I really can’t stand any of the season 2 contestants. Too bad, but we’ll keep on watching and see how it pans out anyway.) In season 16 though, there was just so much unique creativity and talent on display, and so many jaw dropping ‘holy shit’ moments, that I think it was one of the best things I have ever watched. It had the hypest final lip sync battle I ever could have imagined, and I had no idea which way it was going to end. In whole, I feel like the show was a wonderful watch, and I’m glad that our friends convinced us to give it a shot.

LIVE THEATER MUSICAL My partner and I were given a gift card to our local theater last year, so we finally used it to go see a live production of Annie! We don't live in a place where live musicals are very common, and I actually hadn’t seen any since highschool, so we had to make plans very early in the year to go watch it. And after having done so, I can say for certain that there is a unique magic to watching a live theater performance. I’m surprised that it was all performed so perfectly, even with children and a dog on stage, and remarkably, it sounded better than any recording I could find online before or after the event. It was so incredible all around that it totally transported me into a unique creative headspace. There were people of all ages there, some dressed up, some appearing more casual, but the atmosphere was delightful and jovial all around. I’m not going to comment about what was or wasn’t problematic about Annie; it’s not really that deep and you can probably figure that out on your own. But I will say that the magic of a live performance depends entirely on the energy in its room, and I was totally swept away by this experience. Without the discount, it would have been very pricey though, so I’m hoping that we can put away a little money to see a different live musical next year.

BOOK / AUDIOBOOK About a month and a half ago, I started Leo Tolstoy's epic work of historical fiction, War And Peace. I love a book that I can get completely lost in, and War and Peace is one of those books. I made it about 1/4th of the way through it this month, and even though it started slow, I’m now sure that it’s going to be an all time favorite. I read Anna Karenina years ago, and thoroughly enjoyed it, so I expected to like this one too, but there was still a sort of learning curve to overcome at the start. After over a month of engaging with it, I feel like I’ve finally gotten over its barrier to entry, and now I’m picking up the pace. Most people have heard of this book before, so let me tell you that its high-sounding title is no false advertisement. It’s a Russian slice of life book set during the Napoleonic Wars, dealing with a huge assemblage of political and philosophical conflicts, and it will have you exasperatedly crying “time is a flat circle!” as you realize that humans today have nearly the same brains and political interests that they had over 200 years ago. It is already a masterpiece, in my opinion, and I’m going to be reading this book for the entire month of May also, so that’s something to look forward to. If you’re interested in checking out an audiobook, I’m also listening to the Maude translation, narrated by Neville Jason, and I think it’s quite good! (That's it for April! But we're already a few weeks into May, so expect more Lemon Twigs and more War And Peace. Thank you for caring about me, and I hope you have a good day! ♡)

[evanssig]

I've been questioning my ability as a writer. I lied, I have not fully mourned, and I am not over it.

Has my writing been praised? Yes, but it comes in three forms: 1) half-baked compliments from teacher(s) who I doubt have ever taken me seriously, 2) centered on short stories with characters and situations I did not create [I fear I've been permanently marked as the "WWI fanfic girl"], and 3) given by people who I have never seen even pick up a book, let alone read one.

I don't think my writings have been taken seriously. I am not a serious writer to people. I can count at least two occasions (which I know isn't that much, but still) where my friend has verbally laughed while reading something because she couldn't take me seriously. She didn't take my writing seriously. And considering my stories deal with mental problems, the majority of which are inspired by my own, she laughed at me. Indirectly at least.

One friend of mine has genuinely enjoyed what I've written, and I appreciated it at the time, but it doesn't feel like it means anything anymore. Another friend went to read one story. He stopped at the first paragraph because he couldn't take it seriously. He laughed.

I'm a 17-year-old girl with too little control over her emotions, and everything I've written shows that.

I'm good enough to be published in a poetry collection no one cares about. I'm good enough to get Kudos online. But the Kudos to Hits ratio isn't good. Good enough to be read. Never taken seriously.

[stereden]

Of AI, Chatgpt and fandom

So, I’m finally getting around to writing that post I mentioned on AI, Chatgpt and fandom, and in particular fanfiction. There have been a lot of very good posts on the topic that I encourage you to check out (here  ; here and here among many others)

I’ll preface this by saying that, as far as I know, my writing hasn’t yet been fed into an AI for an ending or alternate version. But I know it’s happening with other people’s fics, and I know it might happen to mine at some point. The very idea of it makes me sick, hence this post. The ‘you’ I’m addressing in this isn’t a specific person: it is targeted at anyone who is thinking about feeding my works into something like chatgpt, and anyone who might have already done so.

Let me be very, very clear right from the start: I do not consent to any of my works being fed into any AI, be they chatgpt or similar bullshit, just as I do not consent to anyone plagiarizing my fics, writing their own endings of my fics or trying to dictate what that ending should be. Anyone doing that with my fics is rudely invited to go sit on a cactus and never interact with me or my works ever again. I don’t give a fuck if you don’t plan on ever publishing that AI-generated shit you got about my work. Don’t fucking do it in the first place.

My problem is not just about my writing being used to train a computer program without my consent. That is part of my problem, obviously, but not the most important aspect of it in my eyes, and in the eyes of many other writers who have already spoken out about the problem - and by that, I mean fanfiction writers and professional, published writers.

My main issue is with the people using chatgpt to write endings or alternate versions of fanfics written by other people. 

By all means, if you want to use chatgpt for your own stories, I can’t stop you - I can and will judge you, because seriously, there are so many fics out there you can most probably find exactly what you’re looking for with some good tag filtering, and if not you can just do what the rest of us do, which is write your own. That’s how most of us got into fanfiction to begin with. Don’t use the dubious writing ability of a robot and its absolute lack of creativity that sees it cannibalize other people’s writing and frankenstein it back together. I would rather read a twelve-year old’s first ever fanfic, full of clichés and spelling mistakes, than anything written by an AI, because I know the twelve year old poured their heart and soul into it, put the time and effort into it, and that makes it so much better in my eyes.

But if you put someone else’s story into chatgpt or similar? You are dead to me and do not deserve the hard work fic writers put into their stories. Yes, even if you’re not planning on publishing the results.

Those are our stories. The ones we've put time, energy, effort in. That we've spent hours writing. Some of us have the whole plot planned out for the next thirty chapters. Some of us are making it up as we go along. Some of us are doing both. But it's still our stories. Writing them, finishing them, is our right and privilege. 

Chatgpt and similar computer programs have no clue what we have planned for the rest of the fic. They can make calculated guesses based on all the words you've just fed them and all the stories they’ve previously scrapped, but even if - and it is a big if - they do get the basic plot right, it still won't be exactly the same. It won't be the same quality, it won't be the same word choice, it won't be the exact same style.

It won't be written by us. It won't be the ending we planned or are still planning on.

You were reading that fic because you liked the plot, the characterisation, the writing style. Because you enjoyed the fruits of the efforts the writer put into it. 

And now you're asking a computer to plagiarize that same writer and ghost write you the ending? And, I'm guessing, the ending you want to see, or to rewrite the fic to your liking?

That is not okay. That is beyond not okay. I don't tolerate people trying to pass off my writing as their own. I have specifically told people they were not allowed to use certain original elements of my writing or of the plot I have come up with, because those are stories I am planning on writing myself, or background lore I have already planned for. I have told people off for trying to tell me which way my fics should go, which pairings I should write, how I write certain characters.

What makes you think I would tolerate you using chatgpt and alike to do the same? 

Because let me be clear. Using those is stealing. It’s stealing the time and effort we put into this, and selfishly feeding it all into a machine so it can spew out exactly what you want from it.

This is not you asking the writer of an abandoned fic if you could pick it up and write an ending for it. This is not you asking the writer of an on going fic if you can write a side story for it.

This is not you asking permission for anything from the writer of the fic. This is not you writing a heavily inspired fic, or even just copy pasting an entire fic into a new document and tweaking it to fit your personal desire. This is not even you writing anything.

Even if it's fanfictions, we writers still have rights to our intellectual property, to the stories we write. There is a reason AO3 reacts quickly to any complaints of plagiarism or reposted fics. There is a reason mirror sites or apps of AO3 are taken down. There is a reason writers like @neil-gaiman, @seananmcguire @dduane and so many others will never read fanfictions of their own works and have to regularly remind their own fans to stop sending them headcanons or fanfics: because even if what we write is based on their work, it’s still our ideas and if they write something too similar to the ideas their fans sent them, there could be legal consequences. Plagiarism accusations. For similar ideas. Not even the exact same words. Ideas. Yes, even for fanworks.

There is the plagiarism issue, as I just mentioned, but there is also the respect issue. You obviously don’t respect my writing, if you’re so quick to feed it to an AI just because you’re not getting exactly what you want right this second. You obviously don’t respect me, as a person or as a writer either, if you’re willing to disregard all the time, effort and thought I put into my work.

Yes, sometimes fics are abandoned, and you really, really want to know how it would have ended. Sometimes, the writer fell out of the fandom, sometimes real life got busy, sometimes you never know. Sometimes they died, and we mourn their silence. Often, an explanation is never given. Sometimes they reappear years later, sometimes they don’t. It’s a fact of life, a fact of fandom.

I myself have stories I haven’t updated in years that I still have plans for, that I haven’t abandoned but that I just need time and inspiration to continue writing, and yes I know I have people who want to know what happens next. Some of these people are more polite about it than others. Some act like entitled spoiled brats and get their comments deleted because I’m not here to cater for them.

No amount of time passed since the last update makes it okay to use something like Chatgpt to finish their stories. At the very least, have the decency to respect the effort they put into it and write your own version, yourself, and keep it to yourself. 

Or, if they're available/if you're able to contact them, ask the writer for permission to write a continuation, or a fic based on their own, with proper credit given and a link back to the original! Or even ask them POLITELY how the fic would have ended! Some of them will happily tell you what they originally had planned, even if they are never going to finish the fic! A writer I follow actually did that just today - updated their fics to say ‘Hey, I might never finish this, but here’s what I had planned for it in case I never come back to this.”

But don’t use chatgpt, or any similar program. 

Because if you do, what is even the point of us writing anything in the first place? 

I have been writing fanfiction for a long time. Over fifteen years. I have dealt with a lot of different readers, some way worse than the majority of them, and even then I consider myself lucky when I see what some of my fellow writers had to deal with back on ffnet, and still have to deal with on AO3. I have built a community around my fics, with my readers, and I love it. I love fandom, despite the drama that always comes with it. I love my readers, too, love their enthusiasm when I post a new chapter, love seeing their reactions and getting yelled at in the discord for leaving them off on yet another cliffhanger.

But anyone who puts my writing in an AI? I don’t love you. You have no place in fandom, and especially not in the part of it that I have built.

You make me feel sick. You make me furious. You act like you are entitled to an ending, to a continuation, to getting exactly what you want… for what? Reading my fics? Maybe leaving a comment at some point (one that probably demanded an update, or that I write your specific pairing, or that I change this character to your specifications)?

Fuck. You.

I don’t write for you. Unless I’m specifically writing a gift for someone, I don’t write for anyone but me. 

I share it on AO3 because I’m proud of what I wrote, because I think other people might like it, because I like getting feedback and interacting with others in the fandom. That does not mean it becomes your property, or that you can do anything you want with it.

I don’t get paid for writing. You are not paying me to write. You do not get to tell me what to write, or what to do with my writing, or to do what you want with my writing.

I write because I love writing, because I have too many ideas in my head and need to get them out of it, and putting words on a page is the best way for me to do that.

I don't make any money from writing, and can't afford to be a full time writer. And even if I could, unless you were my publisher and I actually had a contract with you stating that I'm being paid to write something for you, you still wouldn't get to demand updates from me.

I’ve taken to straight out deleting comments that are demanding updates or asking if a fic is abandoned. Not only are these rude, they're actively detrimental to my mental health and make me want to work on the fics in question LESS.

You feeding my work into AI? The only thing you’re doing is making me want to share my writing even less than that.

So just don’t.

[leavesdriftinginthewind]

Fic Author Self-Rec

@therulerofallpotatos tagged me in this sweet little game yesterday, but I was hellbent on getting my Weyler Week Day 7 story finished, so I'm doing it today!

Rules: Reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers.

I've only written seven fics so far, six of which were for Weyler, and five of which written specifically for Weyler Week, SO this may feel like a bit of a rehash of my postings this past week, but that's okay!

wake up screaming from dreaming was my first Weyler story and I spent months working on it. It's still probably my most favorite thing I've written so far! I was nervous writing from Wednesday's POV because she's such a particular character, but I honestly felt like I nailed both her and Tyler's characterizations in this one. I'm still a bit blown away by how many people read it, seeing as it was my AO3 debut, and totally shocked by the sheer amount of favorite Weyler authors of mine that commented on it, letting me know just how much they enjoyed it.

paper rings was intended to be a Weyler proposal one-shot but it went and turned itself into my first-ever multichapter fic! It's not debuted on AO3 as well as I've hoped BUT it's one of the things I enjoyed writing the most. It'll be an absolutely fluffy little ride that also has some quality bonding time between Tyler and Donovan. I'm hoping it finds its audience as the rest of the chapters get shared. Will be updating on Saturdays in case anyone's interested! <3

you can't be gone was my first go at proper Weyler angst, and I tried out a "stream of consciousness" writing style to match how I felt Tyler's mind was reeling by his last encounter with Wednesday in S1E8. It was rather depressing to write my boy struggling so terribly, but it was great to put my thoughts of how their infamous encounter in the woods unfolded from his POV down in a story.

Quads and Countermoves was a story I managed to churn out in a measly four days, which is RECORD time for me (most of my stories so far took me AT LEAST a week to write from beginning to end). It's a funny, sweet, snuggly one-shot in which Tyler insists Wednesday take a nap, but she insists on being a bit difficult. It was also my first go at dipping my toes into more physically intimate territory with the two of them (although it was quite literally child's play compared to the smut many of the fantastic Weyler authors write!), so that was fun for me to write!

For my last rec, I'm actually sharing the link to The Demon Soul, my first EVER fanfic I wrote manyyyy moons ago and published on fanfiction.net. For having written it when I was just 16, it actually holds up rather well! It's a Destiel/DeanCas fic that I wrote after the Supernatural S9 finale. I'm considering dragging it over to AO3 just so it can live with the rest of my writing!

As far as tagging five authors goes, I know many of the ones I follow posted theirs this weekend, but I don't believe I saw any yet from @nouklea @chaoticstupiddm @cosmic-lullaby @badmoodbatflowers and @galpinlvr!

[damonjuicyscock]

Playlist-Chapter 7: Always (90s Noel Gallagher X Reader)

Pairing: 90s Noel Gallagher X Reader

Warnings: mentions of PTSD (flashbacks), a bit of fluffy fluff, violence (it's just Y/N punching someone), maybe a few spelling mistakes

Words: 2445

Summary: After the Ferry incident, you are back in England. It's the Supersonic video shot, and back to the studio. Your relationship with Noel is evolving anew, and everytime it can take a step further, there's always something to interrupt you both.

A/N: Heya Y'all ! Here's chapter 7. This one had been on my mind for months, I just couldn't write it because of you know what. As I got less time now and my wrist is still kinda recovering, I'll be publishing one chapter per week until the end of the fan fic and then when I'll be done, I'll give priority to all my requests before publishing the fanfic with Ville. I know some of you have been waiting for a long time so it's normal for me to make up for lost time (time that I lost but it was not my fault, but still I'm sorry)

Anyway, Enjoy !

“Now your pictures that you left behind

Are just memories of a different life

Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry

One that made you have to say goodbye

What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair

To touch your lips, to hold you near

When you say your prayers, try to understand

I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near

When he says the words you've been needing to hear

I wish I was him

With these words of mine

To say to you 'til the end of time

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That I will love you baby, always

And I'll be there forever and a day, always”.

After the ferry incident we were back in England. It was time for Oasis to film the Supersonic music video. The song would be released the same month. The band had fun filming it. They even got asked to dance and when I heard this, I burst out laughing, perfectly knowing that nor Liam nor Noel would do it and insult the guy, who asked for it. Literally like he had been begging them to do it. Supersonic was their first single, that Noel had written in practically 30 minutes. Oasis recorded it the same day. To record it we went to the Pink Museum in Liverpool. And now, it was the first time I ever came back to London since I was born.

April 11th 1994- London:

During a morning and a whole afternoon, they shot the music video. After this, not complicated to guess where we went: the pub.

We drank pint after pint before going to buy something to eat and to a nightclub. The guys were only sitting drinking, Liam being his inner Casanova, and Noel alone in the corner, talking with Bonehead. I was tipsy and silent. I was discretely admiring Noel from time to time, telling myself how good looking he was, how I loved his blue eyes, his smile, and his laugh, how confident he looked, how the girl that came towards him… WAIT WHAT?! What did this bitch wanted?

I remind you I was tipsy, and I didn’t even recognize the waitress.

That’s when the song, the perfect one blasted through the speakers. It was MY moment. I got up so fast Guigsy looked at me with worry.

Hey Y/N are ye… oh. He started

In fact, I had walked to the dancefloor, dancing a slow with myself on Always by Bon Jovi, mouthing the lyrics, eyes closed. That’s why I didn’t notice Noel’s gaze on mine. That’s also why I was surprised when I felt one hand on my hip and another one taking my hand. I jumped and almost fell.

It’s just me, don’t worry. He said

You scared the shit out of me Noely! I answered

I can see that, me. Not fun dancing by yerself.

So… mister Gallagher doesn’t dance for a music video but dances with me in a nightclub?

There’s a difference between both.

Which is?

With Oasis, I’m the rockstar. With ye, I’m Noel Gallagher. The one ye always knew. Got to work me image and reputation.

It goes without saying that I love both characters but prefer Noel Gallagher.

Love? He chuckled

Oh shut the fuck up, you know what I mean, yeah?

Yea, I know what ye mean. Now it’s yer turn to shut the fuck up and dance with me.

And just like that I was dancing with the man I loved. I laid my head on his shoulder, following his basic dance moves. And when I lift my head up again, we both looked in each other’s eyes, dancing, and me, still mouthing the lyrics. Noel was smiling at me doing so. There still was a hope for love. I was tipsy and unconsciously telling him with a song that I was still in love with him when mouthing “And I will love you, baby, always, and I'll be there forever and a day, always, I'll be there 'til the stars don't shine, ‘til the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme, and I know when I die, you'll be on my mind, and I'll love you, always.”

He smiled more and more, thinking it was cute. And he approached his face more and more from mine. And as we were about to kiss, I felt a hand pinch my bottom. I jumped, and Noel who witnessed it, saw the guy behind me laugh. He let go of me and walked towards him.

Oi, what did ye just do ye fucker?

Oh come on, it was just a joke! The man answered

Well we’ll fucking see if me fist in yer fucking face is also a joke ye asshole!

As Noel was about to punch the man, I put myself in front of him, putting my hand on his torso to stop him.

Noel, no! It’s not worth it.

He stopped, sending a dark look to the man, then looked at me.

The Y/N I know wouldn’t have stopped me and would even have smashed his face in!

He started walking away.

I just fucking want peace Noel, can’t you understand this?

I get that, but not when a man touches ye this way! He shouted

Don’t you think I saw enough violence?

Yea, maybe ye did, but I don’t accept the fact that ye don’t or don’t let me defend ye!

I’m a big girl, I can defend myself Noel!

Yea? Prove it then! Don’t let anyone touch ye this way when ye don’t want it and didn’t ask fer it! What have ye become Y/N? Where’s me warrior?

And this sentence broke me. Tears invaded my eyes, I couldn’t answer. Maybe I wasn’t cured yet. Because flashbacks came back and I fell on my knees, crying and hyperventilating.

Noel had gone to the loo, but Liam saw me and ran to me.

Y/N ? Y/N it’s okay, yer okay.

Noel wasn’t back yet, and Liam took me in his arms, directing himself outside so there would be less noise, and so I could get some calm and fresh air. He sat me on a chair before hugging me tightly.

Hey Y/N, ye’re here, no one can hurt ye, I promise.

I-I know, it’s j-just…

Flashbacks, I know. And I know this. He said as he let go of me

W-What?

I know what flashbacks are. I had some too in the past.

I-Is this about…

Me dickhead of a father beating me mam and brothers? Yea.

I’m so soz Li’…

Don’t be. It’s only nightmares now. I’m sure Noel didn’t want to trigger ye. It’s just we knew another Y/N.

I’m soz…

Stop apologizing Y/N. It’s not yer fault. Repairing yerself takes time. He said, handing me a cigarette

I just thought this was behind me… I answered, taking it

As I said, repairing yerself takes time. It has highs and lows, it’s not linear. He said, lighting his cigarette

Yeah I know, thank you doctor Gallagher. I answered, rolling my eyes while he was lighting mine

See? There she is the sarcastic little shit we love. Ye’re still ye Y/N. Just different after what happened to ye with this bastard. And that’s normal. But Noel is right, we want the warrior who kicks ass back. She’s sleeping, but she’ll be back one day, I don’t doubt it, me. Noel was just trying to encourage ye. Just in a bad way, that’s all.

I chuckled.

You give good advice for someone who’s usually the violent one Li’.

I know, I don’t control it. But I’m meself and I’ve been through this. I was just a powerless little lad.

Who grew up into a good but angry guy.

Maybe yea. But at least I’m alive. And it’s thanks to ye. And I thank ye everyday fer this Y/N.

What Liam had told me gave me a boost. I finished my cigarette and got up.

Where are ye going? He asked

To teach someone a lesson. I answered

I went back inside and looked for the guy who pinched my ass. I saw that Noel was back at the table and sat, with a glass of Gin and Tonic in his hand.

That’s when I saw the man and went towards him.

Hey smartass!

He turned around and I punched him.

Don’t you fucking touch me or another girl without her consent ever again!

I wasn’t a victim. I couldn’t let myself be in this position.

I heard people applause me. Noel had gotten up when seeing me do this and smiled. Liam was among the people who applauded and showed me his two thumbs up. The warrior would be back, and this was a big step I had taken.

*

April 1994- Sawmills studios- Cornwall

After shooting the video for Supersonic, we were back in studio in Cornwall to record and mix the last songs for Definitely Maybe. Oasis were getting popular thanks to the song and I was sure the album would work. I saw the passion they were all bringing to it, and Liam had an incredible voice. When they weren’t recording or drinking, they were playing football. I men WE were playing football.

I was in Noel’s and Guigsy’s team whereas Liam was teaming with Bonehead and Tony.

And let’s say Noel and I still had some techniques from when we were younger. So we kicked their asses. And you know how Liam is. He’s a very bad player. So on several occasions, he had fun knocking us damn, so that he could score a goal.

Oi Liam, this isn’t cool! I said, getting up for the umpteenth time

Yea that’s right our kid, normally that’s a good red card man! Noel pursued

Oh yea? Where’s the fucking referee, eh? Show me, I want to see yer goddamn nice red card. Liam said, raiding his arms to his side and looking from right to left theatrically

You’re unfair Li ‘!

No, ye are! He answered

It’s not our fault ye don’t know how to play football! Noel answered

I fucking know how to play, me!

Then be fairplay! Tony, Bonehead, do you agree with this?

Nope. They both answered

Okay, fuck off, I quit! Liam said, taking the piss

Oh come on William! I said

Nah, fuck off, I don’t want to play anymore!

Where are ye going? Noel asked

To the pub, ye cunts. He answered, walking away

Should we join him? I asked

The boys looked at the sky, it was cloudy and about to start raining.

Nah, let him take the piss, he’ll come back. We’re going inside. Who wants a brew? Tony asked

*

And it rained. A lot. There was a powercut, so we had to light ourselves by candlelight. Liam was probably still at the pub, while Noel and I locked ourselves in the studio. He was strumming his guitar and I read the book about the Beatles, the one he was reading on the ferry to Amsterdam. That’s when inspiration came to him, and he started playing a melody. The one that would later become Acquiesce. I already heard him playing it before, but nothing concrete. There wasn’t any lyrics yet.

Came with a new song? I asked

Maybe.

Already heard you playing this before.

I know. I keep it in me head. I don’t have lyrics. Might not be the time yet.

Doesn’t your head and fingers hurt? You haven’t stopped playing for 3 hours now.

No.

Could you teach me a song please? I said, putting the book aside

Now me head’s gonna hurt.

You bastard!

Noel laughed

Of course, what do ye want to play?

Could you teach me some chords from Always by Bon Jovi?

Aren’t ye a bit obsessed with this song?

No! I mean… I just love it, It’s beautiful.

Lemme find the chords.

He strummed his guitar again for a few minutes, looking for the chords. Then he gave me his guitar, making me hold it the right way.

So ye’re going to strum the E and chords first, then C#minor, B and A twice again. That’s the intro of the song.

I did, with Noel placing my fingers correctly and I struggled for the C#minor chord.

Fuck, this one’s hard!

Yea, not recommended for beginners. This is one of the chords I hate playing. I’m going to help ye.

He sat behind me, and my eyes opened wide. Oh God, that was something he didn’t do for ages. Happily, he didn’t see that. He put his hand on mine, putting my fingers at the right place.

Now strum.

I did.

Sounds better when you do it.

I didn’t do anything, I just helped ye.

I have a little hand and little fingers you know? I said, looking at him

Not so little since ye just played these chords. He answered, looking back at me

Our eyes were locked together, like in London in this nightclub. And once again, his face came dangerously close to mine. And once again, just as we were about to kiss, there was a disturbing element. And that disturbing element’s name was Liam.

F-Fucking hell, it’s a fucking torrent our there, I was lucky I made friends with someone who was n-nice enough to give me a l-lift! He stammered, bursting through the door

Oh fer fuck’s sake… Noel whispered, closing his eyes

Soz, was I interrupting a special moment? Liam asked

I sighed.

No, no you didn’t, your brother was only teaching me a few chords. Are you drunk Liam?

Nah, but I’m cocked up me!

And he’s proud…

Fer fuck’s sake our kid, yer going to lose yer voice!

Oh fuck off Noel, I can sing. Ye’ll see, tomorrow I’ll be in shape enough to blow yer fucking mind!

Ye better!

While the brothers were talking, I grabbed the book and started reading again. I fucking hated Liam at this right moment for spoiling it. I wanted my goddamn kiss. This would have to fucking wait, again.

[aberrantcreature]

Hello! I have a few questions for you if you don't mind

What got you into writing fic?

What got you into Star Wars, specifically ObiKin?

What's your favorite dynamic, shipping, and/or otherwise?

And what's your favorite piece of art?

Don’t mind at all! Thanks for asking out of interest!

✨Gonna add a break here since I’ll be rather detailed I think.✨

I’ve been writing fic since 2022 for the Reylo community! (I have a side AO3 account.) I’d been a Reylo since the beginning, but was never really involved online or in fandom spaces. In late 2021, I started reading fanfic for the first time and was blown away by the quality of the stories for Reylo I had found. After a while, I made my own account to read stories in dark mode, then decided to try my hand at writing for that ship, and I have enjoyed it ever since! At the moment, I have taken a break from Reylo. Partially from burn out and partially due to breaking from a toxic side of the fan base. So I’m taking a much needed breather and Obikin was there to meet me! 🤣

I’ve been a SW fan since I was 13. Had an all-nighter at a friends house and we watched all 6 (at the time) in order and I fell in love with the franchise! It was such a blessing to experience the sequels coming out not long after.

As for being an Obikin, I only got into that ship late last year! My friend online and I were watching all the films over again, and she’s a big Anidala shipper, and I am not. So while watching, I was debating her about Anakin and Padme and I said something to the affect of. “To be honest, I think Anakin and Obi-Wan have better chemistry.” And the thought just sort of…took root. 🤣 Now I’m a rather die hard Obikin!

I am a damn SUCKER for enemies to lovers. ((Looking at Reylo, and also Zutara.)) But I won’t ever be like ‘eh, nah’ to other variations like friends to lovers. I usually like a ship as long as I don’t perceive it to be toxic. I hate reading fanfic (or published, original media) that’s riddled with misunderstandings and miscommunication. You will not see me write anything like that. I just always love it when a ship has ‘I have seen you at your worst, and I still will love and accept you and stay by your side.’ Not in an unhealthy ‘I can fix them’ way, but where character A knows character B can be and do better, and will support character B as they work to be better. I’m all for angst, but I’m even more for overcoming it in healthy ways.

At the moment my favorite piece of art of mine that I have done is probably this:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Alek (@aberrantcreature)

I had never attempted a screenshot redraw like this before, and have never been comfortable painting digitally. So as I was drawing this, I was kind of amazed at how well it was going? I was also just, SO proud of myself when I was done. So it’s a special piece to me. 🫶

Thank you for all of your questions!!! 🤣

[durrtydawg]

20 fanfic questions!!

thank for the tag, lovely <3 @cchickki

How many works do you have on AO3?

6! Far more unpublished though.

2. What's your total AO3 words count?

out of those published: 60,723

3. What fandoms do you write for?

uncharted. whoops.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Wine, Wine, Whine. I Think We've Got Chemis-tree, The Sadir Inheritance, A Taste of your Own, Best Served Cold

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try!! Nothing makes me feel happier than seeing that people have enjoyed my stuff so much they feel inclined to actually tell me?? If I ever don't reply, it's honestly because I'm overwhelmed, or have imposter syndrome... on my own writing? Hmm.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh god. tbh none of my ao3 ones are particularly angsty. Best Served Cold is probably the closest because of ✨vengeance✨, but I've got a fair few angsty fics unpublished.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

deffo I Think We've Got Chemis-tree. It's just silly feel-good fluff and very 'fanfictiony' if you get what I mean. Not my fave, but people seem to love it for some reason :')

8. Do you get hate on fics?

HA. Luckily, I've managed to steer clear from any hate with my Sam stuff, which is probably down to the niche-ness of the fandom, but I used to get a LOOOT when i wrote TWD stuff back in the day. And it was pretty much always due to me using British english spelling & lingo rather than US. Yawn.

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind?

Abso-fucking-lutely. I think the stuff I've published is pretty tame tbh... compared to what I'm too frightened to post because I'm sick in the head <3. I love giggly, fluffy smut, but hey. I also love stuff that verges on dead dove. Come at me with asks on the matter. I'm game.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope. Tbh I don't like anything enough to do crossovers, but ig it's not out of the question.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Again, this fandom is so small, I feel like it'd be blatantly obvious if it had been. I think I saw something a while back that made me raise my brow at the similarity, but to say it was stolen may be a bit far-fetched.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I had an old TWD series of mine translated... twice?!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I had a friend once who asked me to beta her fic, and it ended up becoming a total 50/50 collaboration, so yeah! Again, it was TWD.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Pfft. I really don't have one. (I'm a disgusting, delusional self-shipper.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

ARGH I really want to continue with The Sadir Inheritance, but it's so time consuming, and it takes me about a month to write a very basic request, let alone take care of my fic-baby. I really really like it and have SOO many ideas, so maybe it's overly pessimistic to say I won't ever finish it. But the fandom may be extinct by the time I do :')

16. What are your writing strengths?

Apparently I'm good at dialogue and characterisation? That's unhealthy obsession, bay-bee!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Anything emotional, I think. I enjoy writing the conversational side of things, and am a very humour-centric person, so find it hard to make things perfectly angsty/sad when they need to be. Though I still write it! I'm just not all that confident.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Hell yeah. Just make sure it's accurate to avoid offence/severe cringe. I wouldn't personally do it unless I was completely certain it fit.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

the walking deadddd

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Out of those I've published? Probably the Best Served Cold/A Taste of Your Own duo. It was a lot of fun to write, and allowed me to add a relatively solid plot to something raunchy- though, the alternative ending to ATOYO is better, and I wish I posted it first, because I want more people to see it sksks. You live and learn.

I won't tag anyone- but would looove any of my moots to do this. It was fun!!

[likelightinglass]

Fic Stats Tag Game

Rules: Give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

Thanks for the tag @danpuff-ao3 this looks fun!

Most Hits

In which Severus is stressed and needs Daddy to treat him like a dumb little cumdump. We're both gay and obsessed with tender, intimate kink; moved, we wrote this fanfic

Summary:

Severus spends a morning serving Daddy like a proper little cockslut, since that's what he's good at. Lucky for him, Daddy loves him that way.

Yeah I see all you perverts out there. So many hits on this one and comparitvely so few comments and kudos--and twice as many private bookmarks as public!

I think this may be the fic of mine people seem most ashamed to have read. But I hope people enjoyed it nonetheless haha.

This was so fun to write and it was a hoot to explore some very niche kinks. It was a blast to cowrite with the wonderful alhaz and that excellent naming convention was my crazy idea. I still get such a kick out of it whenever I see it.

Second Most Kudos

World Enough, and Time

Summary:

Soulmate clocks start ticking when you first lock eyes, and count down until your time with them is over. Harry’s starts ticking on September 1st, 1991. He has only six years, eight months, and one day.

This is secretly my favorite fic. I wrote it all at once stream of consciousness style while out shopping. This fic brought to you by eating fast food in my car in a parking lot.

I love the soulmate trope and I loved this take on it. And I am quite pleased with myself that I took the angst and managed a happy ending anyway!

This one had a recent popularity spike due to the amazing podfic by Cailynwrites!!! I am so grateful for it.

Third Most Comments

What Comes Next (and How to Like it)

Summary:

A choose your own adventure fic!

You are Severus Snape. You survived against all odds, and now it's time to take life into your own hands. What will you do with this gift of a second chance, and how will you find your happy ending?

Your happy ending is pretty much always Harry Potter, but there's so many fun ways to get there.

I was so inspired by @lizzy0305 's Choices that I just had to write my own choose your own adventure fic. I am so insanely proud of this one although the plotting was a bear haha. It was very fun writing basically a bunch of mini fics and using so many different tropes. And I got to give Severus over a dozen different happy endings. It's what he deserves.

I feel like this one doesnt get as much love--maybe the interactive nature of it can be off putting? But its one of my favorite things that I have ever wrote and the fic i tend to self rec the most. Most of the comments on this are telling me what their favorite endong was and its so nice to see! Especially since several have been recieved unexpectedly.

Fourth Most Bookmarks

So actually World Enough, and Time again but it is SO CLOSE to More Than Dark, I'm cheating a tiny bit in order to pimp this one out

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31757209/chapters/78608503

More Than Dark

Summary:

Severus is imprisoned in solitary confinement in Azkaban with no idea of who won the war. He is ill, underfed, and slowly losing his mind.

When Harry eventually takes him in and nurses him back to health, he can scarcely believe it's real.

My white whale. My magnum opus. My only published WiP. It haunts me every day that it remains unfinished. I promise its not abandoned, I love it so much and I've written and outlined so much of it but its going to be novel length (in a thousand years when its done) and its been over a year since the last update. I am pouring my heart and soul into this one and its jjst taking a really. Really. Really long time. But if anyone likes WiPs, please try it. I think its one of my best.

Fifth Most Words

Sly and Songful

Summary:

One of the those animagus fics, in which our heroes would rather secretly spy and pine instead of just have an honest conversation.

But where would the fun in that be?

Everyone lives AU, in which you will encounter birds, foxes, pining, stubbornness, falling in love, and scars.

This was one of my first ever fics and it was a birthday present for the magnificent @bleedcolor .

I loved working on this and feeling like I was finally writing a "real" fic with a plot and everything. Its got nightingale animagus Harry and fox animagus Snape and gnarly scars and its very soft and probably a little out of character and amateur but I love it very much.

Theres also a sequel to this, A kind of love called maintenance that I am particularly proud of.

I also commissioned art of this one from Madfantasy! I will reblog it now so it appears right above :)

Fic with the Least Words

AITA for not going down on my boyfriend?

Summary:

Severus takes to the internet to determine if he is, in fact, the asshole.

This was inspired by my obsession with Reddit's Am I the Asshole? And a conversation with Zalil after her spectacular fic where we agreed her fic's Severus was an incredibly selfish lover. It still makes me laugh, I added a couple "in charachter" comments and encouraged others to do so, got some hilarious ones back! If anyone reads this, please comment in the style of AITA hahah.

Tagging: @bleedcolor @perverse-idyll @coconutice22 @givereadersahug @lizzy0305 and absolutely anyone else who wants to!!!

[dayseternal-blog]

Fic Author Self Rec! When you get this reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, or some snippets from upcoming WIPS. Let’s spread the self-love! Love ya and thank you for all you do!! 💖

:D my 5 favorite fics that I've written?? okay.

"It's No Secret" - Hinata returns to Konoha after 5 years studying abroad in the Moon Kingdom. She just wants to enjoy her last year of high school as a normal girl, but blossoming love forces her to confront her future. (Rated M). - My baby fish. A high school AU for which I was really trying all different kinds of things and making all kinds of mistakes, finding my writing style. As a fanfic writer newbie, I felt so free to do whatever I wanted! Every scene for me was gripping, and I was so immersed in the world I was trying to create. It has an original, lengthy plot that I still hope to finish one day!!! I love this fic just because it was so instrumental to helping me improve. It's definitely NOT my best work, but from the first chapter to the most recently published chapter, my growth in writing is so apparent. All of the comments I got on it, even the ones that criticized, were encouraging for me and I cherish those readers who've followed my fics since then 💞

"Nightdreams" - Naruto and Hinata find comfort in each other after the war. (Rated E). - The easiest multi-chapter fic to write. Ever. Since then, I've never had quite as much fun writing a fic (I think Catskin came close). Certainly never as easy a time. "Nightdreams" had its moments of growth for me for sure, though, like the mission chapter, the argument chapter, all of the smut! It had its challenges, but the story flowed so easily, from beginning to end. I think there were only a couple of small writer's blocks. Overall, "Nightdreams" easily takes fave #2 just because it was so fun, and I think readers can tell that I really enjoyed writing it.

"Awkward Jocks" - She knows that if he were to ever ask her out, she would accept in a heartbeat. After all, he's the star quarterback and basketball player. Plus, she's liked him since...forever. But when her home phone rings, and he's on the other line, she hangs up. (Rated G). - The sweet and funny love story based off of my ex-coworker's life...bittersweet now, don't remember if I shared on Tumblr why. But I wrote this fic full of my love for her, so it takes the spot for fave #3.

"About You" - A summer job at the Dole pineapple cannery, graveyard shift 10 PM to 6 AM. A long bus ride into and out of town. Two teens, shy beside each other. (Rated G). - One of my most personal fanfics, though many of them are super personal. This is possibly the MOST personal because it's slightly based off of my parents' stories, I set it on my home island, and I experimented with writing the dialogue in pidgin. The only reason it's not higher on my list is because I somehow feel like I didn't do as good a job on it as I would have liked. It's like, the cultural/historical details are not accurate enough for me. But this is definitely a fic I wrote for myself, and it's been a joy to see other people love it, too.

"Matcha" from "Shared Vows" - Naruto calls Hiashi "father" for the first time. (Rated T). - ooooh it was a toss-up between this one or "Finally Home" from "Shared Vows," but I decided on "Matcha" as my fave #5. I love how I framed this fic, its ending reversing the beginning, and I somehow managed to communicate exactly what I wanted to say about Naruto's new family. This fic gives me such feel-good vibes, and I'm so glad it captured the feelings I felt.

I know that my personal faves do not align with readers' personal faves. Except for maybe "Nightdreams" haha. That one is easy to love. I know people loved "White Lilies," "Friend of Mine," "Tell Me of Forevers," and "Undercover," ...those exhibit some of my best technical writing, so I'm glad readers recognized that effort! My personal faves have more sentimental value, I guess, so that's what makes them special to me.

[takearisk-x]

Hello, what made you finally take a “risk” into fanfiction and being comfortable with submit your work on A03/Tumblr? I’ve just recently started actively uploading some HP fanfics and I still feel nervous when I go to press the publish button. I try not to let my nerves get to me so instead of checking how many “hits” I get, I read fics from other others just to keep my mind from overthinking.

Also, wanted to say that I love the interactions you have with your fellow readers it’s beautiful, really. Seeing how they come together and read your writing. Not just that but it seems like you don’t know the impact that you have on your readers and when you receive an ask by someone telling you how much they love your work, it’s adorable how your at a loss for words. Because you have a great talent, and like the saying goes we are our own worst critics, even if you somehow feel like one scene or chapter isn’t the greatest, you never know if that scene/chapter means the world to one of your readers.

No matter what I hope you know that your writing will always be special and it’s truly one of a kind. Especially the way you come up with the details and dialog, it’s like the reader can get teleported into the story with the way you write each scenes. Also, the way you create the Daily Prophets are simply AMAZING, love it so much its truly a work of magic 😉. I always wonder how you came up with creating those and how long does it take you, for you to enjoy the final product to place in the story. It’s very creative and interesting to see, it feels magical, anytime I see a Daily Prophet in the beginning of the story.

I hope you the absolute best in your writing adventure and always know that even no matter what, you matter and the words that you come up with have the power to take someone away from the world and into a place that you’ve created even if it’s just for a few minutes.

No matter what ship you write for, do what you love the most because at the end it’s your story! ❤️

❤️

I hope you have a good night/morning 🥺

first of all: AAAHHHHFLSKDFJASDKJLFHADSGKJF

OKAY, now that we've got that out of the way. you are so lovely and absolutely the sweetest and i genuinely cannot comprehend how i ended up with so many of you being so nice to me all the time. because from my point of view i am just a person hanging out behind her computer screen in-between bouts of real life. like i cannot stress that enough. i am probably the most boring, underwhelming, thirty-something, toddler mom you will ever meet. so when people come to me and have.. like.. theories and analysis and excitement over this night-time hobby of mine, i get all blushy and giggly about it because i'm excited about it too! and i think you are absolutely right, we are our own worst critics and so when a lot of what i'm pulling together feels disjointed or mediocre, hearing that it still made an impact even though i was less than thrilled about it, quite literally translates into all-consuming motivation to keep going.

like just you saying you love the daily prophet articles had me scrolling through the ones i've made but haven't used yet to see if i can drop a lil sneak peek because you like??? an idea i had???

anyways, i'll stop rambling about my very transparent people pleasing tendencies.

as for your first question, i don't think we, as writers, ever truly get past the anxiety/anticipation of sharing our work. that's sort of the whole thing right? writing is a shared medium, it doesn't manifest its full meaning until it is shared. but it's also terrifying to share a bit of yourself, a bit of your soul, with someone and invite interpretation and criticism. that's really fucking scary. that's probably why chapter 17 is in a perpetual draft because i am very much afraid of putting myself out there and it not be good enough. so, i think it is absolutely okay to admit and validate those fears but i also think it's important to have people who can ground you and remind you why you are writing. i've been writing and posting fanfic for over ten years and i still spiral and overthink and obsess over stats, but thankfully i have really good people around me who can bring me back down to earth and whose opinions i trust when they tell me that something is or isn't working within a plot/dynamic/chapter. and i do the same for them.

i'd say that is the best thing you can do? make writer friends? find people you trust and who have similar tastes and interests and do fandom life together? because just like writing is a shared medium, fandom is a collective experience. it's meant to be shared.

the last thing i'll share with you as a new-ish writer wanting to take up the fanfic hobby, is that writing is the type of activity where you are not going to see immediate improvement or growth. it's just not. and it's also not something that can really be forced when it comes to success. you can't make people connect with your stories, so cherish the ones that do and keep reading and watching and writing until the story consumes you instead of you directing the story. at least, in my experience, that's what i've found to be the most rewarding, when i know the characters so well and have their voices so ingrained in my head that they are telling me how the story should go, instead of the other way around.

thank you so much for this message! please feel free to come talk to me off anon if you want <3 i'm always down to clown

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

Fic writer asks: 31/32 as one question, 46, and 50 :D

Thank you for your service in sending me distractions 🙏🏻

31: What's your ideal fic length to write? | What's your ideal fic length to read?

Bestie, I literally cannot answer this. The length of my chapters is all over the goddam place, & I've only ever committed in a serious way to fic one (1) time & that's with my current project(s?). I think that, like, if I am pushed to think about it, just in terms of Longfic-Chapter-Length, I really hit a sweet spot with my early chapters in SOTF where I hovered around 8-12k, & everything after that has been...IDK me literally being insane & not knowing how to shut up because I committed to my formatting. I haven't finished any fic since...I wanna say high school (& even then it was all written out in longhand in spiral notebooks) & I only finished one or two of my innumerable projects. So I guess longfics get there when they get there, final word count be damned. Who TF knows with my shorter stuff, those all exist on vibes & vibes alone, & they're done when The Spirit Of Writing tells me they are. Shorter stuff does tend to top out at 2k (or thereabout), though.

In terms of reading, tbh I've never read a lot of fanfic. IDK, I just never really thought about it because I tend to be very isolated & "I can entertain myself" when it comes to fandom experience. I also sort of read fic like I read books (see: it takes me forever), so you could set me down with something of pretty much any length & I'll eventually get it done. There is no length determination, only if I fuck with the writing style & plot.

46: Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write?

I definitely prefer writing on a computer, my mom was kinda militant about me learning how to type when I was young so I have a really high wpm now & it's just faster. That said, I'm not opposed to writing on my phone. I wrote the vast majority of the currently published chapters of my HOTD fic on my phone because I didn't have a laptop for 3 years, & I'm not going to write "cunt" on a work computer, even if it's during my lunch break. So I'm writing hybrid phone/computer even though I do have one now. I got good enough at writing several thousand word chapters in the app version of google docs with naught but my thumbs that I'll go with "whatever is convenient for the location I'm currently in." Computer is definitely where I'm thriving, though.

50: Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

There's only 2 that are currently in the fic, & then there's one planned one, but no one talked about the 2 that were there at all & so I have to just get them out there. Also my Patented Misa Foreshadowing That Makes Me Giggle And Kick My Feet But No One Picks Up On Because My Thought Pattern Cannot Be Reproduced.

Chapter 6 has a minor "right in front of my salad" reference

I named the brothers of Borros Baratheon's wife after Peter and Edmund Pevensie from the Narnia series & gave them the same age gap. I foreshadowed Yorick's dragon by having his personal arms be a black dragon & have him get assigned to play at having one that color when he played with his cousins. I foreshadowed Ella's betrothal/husband by having her wear a dress with roses on it at a tourney, & the favor she gave her dad was yellow roses (the real-world equivalent to the heraldry exclusive gold of House Tyrell). But no one mentions these things. They make me happy, but I want someone to point at it & be like "oh hey!"

I have an upcoming easter egg with Ella's son/first child. I'm naming him Griffith because, sure, actual Griffith from Berserk sucks, but his name fucks & I like Berserk so why shouldn't I co-opt his name? It's mine now. Yoink. Enjoy being a footnote in the list of "media Misa likes that can be referenced in something else"