Chris Klemens Starters !
Sentence starters inspired by this Chris Klemens video. Feel free to change wording or anything else to fit your needs!
“Can you tell that I’ve been crying all morning? I’ve been crying all morning.”
“No, we’re fine, guys. We’re fiiiine. We’re fiiiiiine.”
“That house was literally so dark, there was no fucking light. It was like a log cabin in a horror movie.”
“Food is something I take too seriously.”
“Never has anyone ever been so excited to not collect a check.”
“Girlboss Mode Activated!”
“What the fuck is good, Kyle?!”
“I can barely remember what I did yesterday, let alone what someone said in a 2014 Vine.”
“I have Takis, I have jalapeños, and I have real ass cream cheese.”
“Do other people have this much trouble, or am I just extra Caucasian?”
“I have this hollowed out and we’re just gonna put some laxative in.”
“That was so sad, from start to finish. That sentence was devastating.”
“Hey Houston? We have a fucking GINORMOUS problem.”
“My mouth is watering, it’s like ‘Give me more, bitch!’”
“What the fuck are we doing here?”
“Well Philly Cream Cheese, we meet again.”
“I don’t like it, but I need to try it because I need answers.”
“It’s a dead watermelon, why am I so fucking scared?”
“It’s like when I lived in New York and it struck midnight: I’m doing two lines now.”
“Oh my god. At first I thought I was eating a hot dog, then I was like it’s cold and it’s also watermelon.”
“Fuck, and I mean FUCK, whoever came up with this.”
“Next up on this nonstop thrill ride, we have nacho Dorito chips dipped in marshmallow cheese sauce.”
“Yep, yep, yep. Wow!”
“I got laxative number two of the day: Cheese Whiz.”
“This is a sight I never thought I’d see in my lifetime, let alone yours.”
“I hope this microwave doesn’t give me radiation and I just drop dead on the spot! That would suck.”
“Nothing screams party like putting marshmallows in queso.”
“Can you believe I gave this any sort of optimism?”
“It’s not even gross, it’s just off-putting.”
“I’m done giving my energy to this!”
“I love peanut butter and I love pickles. What I don’t love is this bullshit.”
“I have pickles in my fridge, but I really like those ones, and don’t want them ruined, because no offense to that man, some fucking idiot on the Internet.”
“I’m not proud of this, but when I was younger, I used to drink pickle juice.”
“I was gonna say I had hope for this, but look where that fucking got me.”
“What in the Jimmy Neutron? Gotta blast!”
“Hello? Is anybody there? Where is everyone? What the fuck was that?”
“You will never catch me dead with a pickle and peanut butter. If you do, that’s the saddest way I went out.”
“I am sorry to the person in the Tiktok who I called an idiot, you are not as big an idiot as the fucking watermelon person. Unless you also came up with that. In that case? Idiot.”
“I think I’m making a mistake, but my hopes are incredibly high.”
“I’m a blue raspberry bitch!”
“This is gonna take out a tooth.”
“Oh yeah, I’ve always wanted a lollipop in the shape of a foot!”
“We’re gonna take some of these crack rocks and-“
“Ew, it has like wig hairs coming off of it. Okay bitch, me too!”
“It has some terrestrial vibes. Like, Saturn who?”
“Oh. Oh! Ow. Oh?”
“That was enjoyable.”
“If I wasn’t so scared of becoming Jack Sparrow and losing three teeth, that’d be a 10 out of 10.”
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AXIS MUNDI .
&&. SCIFI X FANTASY X POLITICAL INTRIGUE / ORIGINAL SEMI-PRIVATE RP
THE SYNOD OF DICIONIS DRAWS BLOOD; THE CITY'S LEADERS CRUMBLE. AXIA SPLITS AT ITS SEAMS, AND THE BEAST-PLAGUE NIPS AT YOUR HEELS.
TELL ME, DO YOU THINK YOUR GODS STILL BELIEVE IN YOU?
[ GUIDEBOOK / INTEREST FORM ]
A NOTE: hi, hello! as you can see, this isn't really my usual content -- there are games cooking in the oven, but otherwise i've been spending a fair amount of time on the good ol' jcink forums, and i figured some of you might be interested in this kind of thing.
come join us! we're currently wrapping up a major site event and entering the next plot arc, so there's no time better to hop into the chaos than now.
[ ! ] AN UNEXPECTED INVITATION :
the CANDIDATE entreats you meet him in a lounge of his choosing — something close to the border, dim-lit and discreet. his hair is as red as a hunter's moon and his smile curves like a scythe, and he's watching you over the rim of a glass with eyes as pale as a wintry licyran sky.
"there's a storm brewing," he says. you've heard of it too, something that stews in the undercity heavy as smog, sinks under the skin of the upper city like rot. "i thought you might be interested."
"besides…" a tilt of the glass. "the betting pool's grown stale, don't you think?"
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