#FINALLY listened to good kid 4. been stuck in my head since monday

[lemonstrashcan]

THIS CANT BE THE END THIS CANT BE THE END OF ALL THAT SUMMER HAD TO SAYYYYYYY

[dameronology]

love in the time of PTA meetings {marcus moreno} - 1/5

summary: despite what pinterest shows, being in a parent in the twenty first century is hard; especially a single parent. your kid takes up your entire life and the idea of finding a fairy tale is laughable - that is until you finally attend a p.t.a meeting and cross paths with a certain marcus moreno.  {series masterlist}

warnings: i do not have children. i don’t know children work. this written entirely what i have seen them do in the sims 4. also, swearing. 

- jazz

Leaving work early was never a good look.

Leaving work early because your child had managed to set fire to a trash can was...well, it was something else entirely.

After rushing out of a very important meeting and parking your car in a did-you-park-it-or-crash-it manner, you were sprinting across the play ground and towards the front entrance. Having given up half way through, you’d kicked your stupidly high heels off and held them in one hand, trying to organise your slightly disheveled hair as you entered the building. Most parents might have been nervous to collect their kid after a call from the principle, but this was a regular Tuesday for you. Jack was a good kid, perhaps just a little...misguided. In your books, it was impressive that a five year old had managed to discover pyrotechnics, though you sensed the school might have been a little less lenient about it. 

‘Hey!’ You greeted the principle with a smile as you breezed through the doors. 

Jack was in a chair by the front desk, a gleeful look on his face when he saw you. As far as he knew or cared, he got to go home early and watch Paw Patrol for the rest of the day. 

‘Afternoon.’ He replied. ‘You’re lucky it was only a phone call.’

‘I know, I know.’ You grumbled. ‘I’m sorry. He’s...adventurous-’

‘ - he singed off his class mate’s eyebrows!’ The principle cut you off. ‘Given Monday’s biting incident, I see it fit that Jack take the rest of the week off.’

‘Right.’ You sighed. ‘Thank you. And sorry again.’

‘I’ll email you a list of...behavioural specialists.’ He muttered.

‘There’s nothing wrong with my kid. He’s just...curious.’ You insisted. ‘C’mon, buddy. Let’s go home.’

Jack sprung up from the chair, taking your hand in his and skipping out the door beside you. Parenting had been hard enough when you’d been married, and even harder now that his dad was out of the picture. It meant that everything fell on your shoulders; school runs, packed lunches, earning money, staying sane. You barely found the time to sleep, let alone go to soccer matches or take him to extra curricular activities. It meant that the stay-at-home mums - the ones who drove minivans and had specified walking shoes and shared memes about parenting on Facebook - muttered about you. 

I heard Jack’s mum couldn’t make it to the parent-teacher association meeting because there was a divorce hearing. 

Look at the kid’s lunch! Oh the saturated fat, the horror!

What do you MEAN your five year old isn’t vegan?!

Frankly, you wanted to whack them over the head with their own damn vision boards. So what if your kid was a little rough around the edges? He’d discovered fire today! If it had been in the stone ages, that would have been impressive. The kind of thing that would have earned him a McDonald’s, had the fast food chain been around at the dawn of time. With the way things were going, paired with the fact you knew your fridge was empty, it looked like you were heading for a Happy Meal anyway. 

‘So do I get all week off?’ Jack peered up at you, tugging on your arm.

‘Yup, all week.’ You sighed. ‘But it’s not a reward, okay? It’s...’

You stopped in your tracks when you saw Marcus Moreno’s car pull up in the lot. Naturally, it was expensive and electric and perfectly between the white lines. He gave your less-than-stellar parking a frown as he breezed by - not that you noticed. Frankly, you were too busy admiring him. You saw his face more on the news than you did in person, but he was beautiful. Talk, dark, handsome and mysterious, but also...friendly and approachable. He’d held the door open for you once two years ago and that had been it for you. There had been whispers about the fact he was a widow, though you’d tried not to pay attention to them. It wasn’t anyone’s damn business. You knew he was a good dad; you’d had the chance to meet Missy when Jack had got his head stuck between the playground fence and she’d helped pull him out. She was sweet and well-behaved and clearly well brought up. Could you say the same for your own kid? Eh, parenting was all trial and error. 

‘It’s what?’ Your son’s voice dragged you back to reality. ‘Am in trouble?’

‘What?!’ You jumped at the question. ‘No, I just...’

‘Because Principle Eikner said I’d done something bad.’

A small sigh escaped your mouth; placing his backpack on the ground, you knelt down to his height, gently placing your hands on his shoulder. ‘You haven’t done anything wrong, little man. We're just gonna take a few days out to talk about the rules and what it means to do the right thing, okay?’

‘Dad always said not to listen to the rules.’

‘Your dad said a lot of things.’ You reminded him. You stood back up, offering your hand to him. ‘Let’s go home.’

After a few minutes of bartering and the promise of a McDonald’s, you finally made your way back to the car, now with Jack attached to your back. If giving him a piggy back ride meant getting home quicker, it was a price you were willing to pay, especially since the other mums were starting to arrive to pick up their kids. The parking lot was slowly filling up with minivans - compared to your decade-old Honda Civic. It had seen better days, and one too many run ins with other cars and parking lot bollards. Still, it got the job done. 

‘Oh, I’m so glad to see you!’ You froze in your tracks again. This time, it wasn’t because of Marcus Moreno’s otherworldly presence, but rather due to the sound of the resident soccer mum. 

‘Carol.’ You turned around to face her (slowly, given the five year old on your back) with a forced smile on your face. ‘Hi.’

‘I take it you’re here for the parent-teacher’s association meeting?’ She gave you a phoney grin, handing you a leaflet. ‘I know you couldn’t make the last one, because of your...d-i-v-o-r-c-e hearings.’ 

‘I can spell!’ Jack chirped from behind you.

‘It’s okay, buddy.’ You reached up to ruffle his hair, smile not faltering. ‘But yeah, you’re right. And what about it?’

‘Nothing.’ Carol quickly shook her head. ‘So you are coming to this one? It starts in ten minutes.’

Truth be told, you’d no idea there was even a meeting tonight. You usually ignored the damn things until the news letter came out, and then you could read it from the comfort of your sofa with a glass of wine. There was nothing you stopping going tonight, aside from your intense hatred for them. 

‘I wanna get home and watch South Park!’ Jack chirped from behind you.

‘I don’t - I mean...I don’t let my five year old watch South Park.’ You said. ‘He walked in on me watching it one time and...point is, yes, I’m here for the meeting!’

‘No, you’re not-’

‘- Jack, just sssh!’ 

Carol blinked in surprise, but her phoney smile returned a moment later. ‘Excellent! I’ll see you inside.’

You inwardly groaned. Why had you just done that? You fucking despised sitting in a stuffy gym for the better part of an hour, listening to the perfect mums bang on about healthy eating and limiting their kids’ internet time. You already questioned your parenting skills as it was - the meetings only made it worst. You didn’t assimilate into that crowd; they were all married, with big houses out in the ‘burbs and bank accounts that could cover their kids ever-expanding interests and activities. Meanwhile, you were living on one wage and your two-bedroom apartment had a balcony, not a back garden. If Jack wanted to go on a field trip, you usually had to save up for months. You didn’t know if you envied the other mums’ lives, but you certainly weren’t jealous of how they viewed working mums and single parents. 

‘That lady is mean.’ Jack murmured from your shoulders.

‘Yeah buddy, I know.’ You nodded. ‘Guess we’re going back to school.’

--

Lugging the kid and his bag back up the school yard and towards the building was exhausting - at least it was your work out for the week done. By the time you’d reached the gym and placed Jack back on the ground, your shoulders were aching and you were disappointed to see that the refreshments didn’t have any alcohol. Was it too late to sneak out? The fire exit was right there and-

‘- shame this thing doesn’t have any wine, huh?’ A man was stood next to you, arms folded across his chest as he stared at the luke-warm jug of coffee on the table ahead. 

Tall, dark hair, stubble and with a faint hint of expensive aftershave you pretended not to notice? Hello, Marcus Moreno. Goodbye, ability to form coherent sentences.

You blinked in surprise. ‘Yeah. I could do with a glass. Or ten.’

‘So you hate these things too, huh?’ He smiled. 

‘With a passion.’ You returned the gesture. ‘I’m only here because Carol and her Karen Committee kept muttering about me not being at the last one.’

‘Yeah, same here. I was attending an emergency meeting about nuclear arms in Vienna, but I guess this is more important.’

‘I was...’ in court, signing documents to end my marriage, ‘otherwise occupied too.’

Marcus nodded in understanding. ‘Kids alone are a full time job, huh? ‘Specially when you’re the only one who’s running around after them.’

He knew about your situation and in return, figured that you knew about his. He’d heard the whispers about the divorce and presumed that the loss of his wife had been subject to similar gossip. The environment amongst the parents was shockingly similar to high school and things got around pretty quickly. You both hated it, especially given the nature of both your circumstances; death and separation was not something other people should have been talking about. Especially when you all you wanted to do was mind your own business and raise your damn (chaotic) kid.

‘Yeah, tell me about it.’ You replied. ‘My kid is like...a baby crackhead, as well. He’s been sent home twice this week and it’s only Wednesday.’

‘Oh, Jack’s your kid?’

You let out a groan, holding your face in your hands. ‘Yeah. Famously so, apparently.’

‘No, it’s not a bad thing!’ Marcus chuckled, pulling your hands away. ‘He played a brilliant baby Jesus in the Nativity last year.’

‘Aside from when he bit one of the three wise men, yeah.’ You could feel your cheeks heating up. ‘Missy actually helped him once. She seems really...not at all like my child. Which is good.’

‘She told me about the fence incident.’ He nodded. ‘May I ask why he was shoving his head out of the school gates?’

‘He saw an interesting looking slug.’ You replied.

Your conversation was interrupted by Carol, who had now climbed up on stage. She tapped the microphone and cleared her throat, gesturing to everyone to sit down so that the meeting could start. You wanted to curse her. Whatever giddy conversation you were having with Marcus was a thousand times more interesting than the PTA. At least you could revel in the fact he didn’t want to be here either.

‘Shall we?’ Marcus gestured to two empty seats a few rows back.

‘I mean, it’s an aisle seat, which is good for a quick escape if Jack decides to be Jack,’ you nodded in agreement. ‘Hey kid, c’mon!’

Turning away from the other kids, Jack sprinted towards you, hurling himself into your lap as he sat down. You let out an oof! and a groan. He wasn’t as light as he used to be a toddler. He stayed still for a moment, tiny hands clasping yours, before he realised who you were sat next to. The kids’ impression of Marcus was not quite the same as yours - he’d only seen him on TV, with the likes of all the heroes. You couldn’t remember their names (but in your defence, they were kind of ridiculous). 

‘Are you a superhero?’ He reached up, poking Marcus in the cheek. 

‘Jack!’ You hissed. ‘You can’t-’

‘- yeah, buddy.’ Marcus ruffled his hair. ‘But it’s my day off today, so I’m doing all this boring stuff instead.’

‘Can you fly? Do you know Miracle Guy? Have you fought aliens? Do you have a super suit? Do you know Iron Man? Wait! Can I be a superhero?!’

‘No, yes, yes, no, no and maybe when you’re older.’ He counted the questions off on his fingers. ‘But for now we have to keep quiet for the meeting. That would make you a superhero.’

--

You wanted to marry Marcus Moreno.

Seriously, you wanted to marry him.

His little comment had kept Jack quiet the entire meeting. And it was a long fucking meeting indeed. The last time he’d shut up for that long was...probably before he learnt to talk. You loved he was full of curiosity and questions, but he didn’t always understand that there was a time and a place. At least now you knew what would shut him up. 

‘How does Miracle Guy fly? Is Batman real? Are you rich? Do you know Wonder Woman? How does her lasso of truth work?’

‘Jack.’ You groaned. 

You were walking out of the school now and down towards the car park. Missy was in tow, tapping away on her phone, whilst Jack trotted alongside you and Marcus. He’d been spewing questions at the poor man pretty much since the meeting had ended - and yet, he seemed happy to answer them. Excited, even. It was clear that he loved his job.

‘You gotta give Mr Moreno a break, little man.’ You said.

‘Hey, just Marcus is fine.’ He replied. 

‘Hey Just Marcus, I’m dad.’ Missy chimed from beside you, not even looking up from her phone. It was...impressive, actually.

‘I already regret buying her that.’ Marcus murmured. 

The two of you eventually reached your cars. The Civic was still terribly parked across two spaces - you were a good driver, you’d just been in a rush. The dents and scrapes all over the doors and bumper implied other wise but hey, we move. You had a thousand and one other things to save up before a new car. Putting down the deposit on a house - one you could actually own, maybe a little further out from the city - was your number one concern. Paying off your divorce attorney came after that. 

‘It was nice to meet you properly.’ You pulled your keys out your back, tugging four empty packets of crisps and three bags of gummy worms with it. 

‘I’m not done asking questions-’

‘- you gotta let Marcus go, JJ.’ You peered down at Jack. ‘Sorry. He’s a little obsessed with the Heroics, but I guess you’ve worked that one out.’

‘Can I visit your base?’ He continued, ignoring you. 

Marcus knelt down to his height, a grin on his face. ‘I’ve got a free window tomorrow afternoon. You wanna come by? Your mum tells me you’re off school for the rest of the week.’ 

‘Really?’ You blinked in surprise. ‘I mean, I’m sure he would love that but I’m at work and he’s gotta go to my mum’s.’

Your mother also doubled up as your baby-sitter. In an ideal world, you would have been able to afford a professional, but this was very much the opposite of an ideal world. It was the real world, and you were constantly juggling a thousand things at once. Never in a million years would you have changed it but there were days when you wanted to cry. When it was 9PM and Jack suddenly chimed in that he had a science project due the next day, or when he refused to eat his dinner because his chicken nuggets weren’t shaped like dinosaurs and fed them to the dog. 

Marcus looked, on the surface at least, like he had his shit together. He worked in a public facing job and he always looked put together. His car wasn’t covered in bumps and bruises and the inside probably wasn’t covered in yoghurt like yours. He seemed as though he got more than five hours sleep a night and his child was well-behaved. 

‘I’m sure we can work something out.’ He said. ‘If you give me your number, I’ll give you a call.’

‘Uh, yeah! Of course.’ He’d asked for your number. No big deal. 

You switched phones - naturally, his was much more high-tech than yours - and entered in your respective numbers. The whole thing made you admire Marcus even more; he didn’t have to have your tyrannical son over to his office, yet he offered to. He’d clearly seen how excited he’d gotten and it seemed like he’d found it endearing. 

‘Are you okay?’ Marcus asked quietly, suddenly putting his hand on your shoulder. ‘You suddenly zoned out.’

‘Yeah, sorry.’ You rubbed your eyes. ‘I got about three hours sleep last night. I would blame it on the terrible twos but I guess it’s the...fucking awful fives?’

He quickly turned his attention to Jack, opening the car door for him. ‘You wanna hop in? I’m just gonna talk to your mom about you visiting, yeah?’

'There’s Cheetos in the centre console!’ You called after him.

Once Marcus had shut the door, he turned around to face you. There was silence for a minute, and he just kind of...stared at you. You couldn’t read his expression or quite figure it out, but he had an eyebrow quirked and a look of...concern? Sympathy?

‘I recognise that look. It’s the help! I’m suddenly a single parent to a five year old and it feels like the world is eating me alive look.’ He said. ‘It’s the exact same one I had six years ago. Missy was about Jack’s age when...when it became just me and her.’

You softly smiled. ‘It’s not been easy.’

‘You’re doing a good job, okay?’ He gave your shoulder a light squeeze. ‘And if you ever need him off your hands for a few hours, I’ll gladly give him a tour of our headquarters.’

‘Thank you. So much, for both of those things.’ Your eyes fell to the ground. ‘It’s a refreshing change from Carol and her Pinterest boards and half-assed invitations to potlucks.’

‘God, I can’t stand all that.’ Marcus chuckled. 

‘I gotta get back now because I can see that Jack is about smush Cheetos over my break pedals but I’ll...’ you trailed off, forcing yourself to look at him and smile. ‘I’ll call you.’

‘I look forward to it.’ 

[lunarliza]

Dirty Little Secret | Chapter 4: Ferry Tickets

fuckbuddy!JJ x kook!reader

series masterlist | prev. chapter | chapter one

You and JJ are fuck buddies- strictly physical. But what happens when you find yourself falling more and more for everyone’s favorite golden boy even though all he can see you as is a spoiled rich girl?

note: smut ... like right under here 

“Fuuuck me,” you whimpered, face pressed down to your floral pillowcase. 

“You like that don’t you?” JJ’s hand twisted your hair as the other smacked the side of your ass while he slid himself in and out of you from behind. 

Ted and your mom went into the city for a few days while Macy was off at her tennis lesson which left you with an big empty house for the morning. You had contemplated doing a sunrise yoga on the beach or riding your bike along the pier, but a surprise text from JJ had you cancelling all your self-care plans. 

Which is how you ended up in your current position- under him, back arched, and feeling his thick cock stretch you out. 

“Mm,” you whined, lifting your eyes to his hungry ones as you watched him take you. You felt the cold metal from his rings cling onto your sweaty skin when his hands moved to grip both sides of your hips. 

“Mm, play with me.” 

JJ’s hands snaked around to your wet clit where he gently rubbed you back and forth. It sent you over the edge as you moaned louder into the pillow you were clenching. 

He came into the condom and pulled out of you, collapsing onto your side in a fit of pants. His gold locks were disheveled on his face as his broad chest heaved up and down. You laid in your current position for a few moments, collecting yourself, before springing to the bathroom to get cleaned up. 

You expected him to be gone once you got out, but, much to your surprise, JJ was still submerged in your fluffy white comforter, underwear on, scrolling through his phone. Slightly taken aback, you flopped down next to him. 

You and JJ had this unspoken no cuddling or pillow talk rule, but you decided that, after three months of fooling around, you could at least engage in small talk. 

“Why’d you call me up so early?” you asked, hugging your knees. 

“I was at the store and saw your parents getting gas to leave town. Didn’t see you in the car so I thought you’d be home alone,” he smirked, still glued to his phone, “and I was right.”  

JJ paid a lot of attention to little things- more so than you thought. Here and there he’d bring up a small fact he remembered about you like how you’d braid your hair before swimming or how he saw you talking to someone he thought you didn’t like. It was odd, but you pushed it aside. 

Another thing that always fazed you about him was why he was so open to sleeping with you. You assumed it was him getting off on the satisfaction of fucking a Kook, but the hateful remarks he made the other day on the boat with Rafe confused you. 

“Since when did you start hanging out with Topper and Rafe?” he asked, tossing his phone to the side.

You didn’t expect that question from him. “I don’t. Jade just dragged me with her because she’s trying to get with Rafe.” 

JJ snorted. “Oh Jade... she has a nice rack. And she can do way better than him, he looks like a celery.” 

You giggled at his uncanny comparison. “Hey JJ.” 

He lifted his eyebrows, leaning over on his side. “It was you that day wasn’t it? The day you caught me smoking, you’re the one who fucked up Topper’s bike.” 

You had always wondered what on earth JJ was running from the day you two met. You almost forgot about it until Topper brought up his messed up bike on the boat. You remembered hearing him whine about it months ago during class, the Monday after, and mentally put the pieces together. 

“What’s it to ya?” JJ responded, growing peeved. 

You shrugged. “Just wondering. I just don’t get this war between you guys. It’s honestly ridiculous, like what good is throwing shit at each other or punching each other gonna do?” 

The light-haired boy groaned and sat up in annoyance. “Of course you wouldn’t get it. You’re a fucking Kook. You can do whatever the hell you want- buy whatever you want, hurt whoever you want- and get away with it. Nothing ever affects you because at the end of the day, you just come straight home to your gated neighborhood with not a spec on your back. You’ll never know what it’s like to not have everything you want!” 

You scoffed and crossed your arms, standing from the bed to get away from him. “Well guess what, prick? I actually do know what it’s like. I didn’t always have this stupid life!” 

You ran your hands through your hair and avoided his gaze. That was probably the first time you confessed that out loud to someone since you moved. You heard JJ shift a little on your bed as pure silence soon enveloped you both. 

Since he was already there, why not just let the entire cat out the bag?

“I use to live in a small town outside of Charlotte. My parents didn’t have a lot but they tried to give me and my sister everything they could. My dad would come home late sometimes- there were days when we wouldn’t even see him. My mom sold clothes, shoes, hats, anything she could make at home so we could eat.” You turned to face him. “And as much as it fucking sucked, I liked it better that way than now.” 

“So what happened?” JJ peered up at you with sheer orbs and, for a moment, you forgot about his tactless, cold-blooded self. 

You sighed and pursed your lips. “My parents divorced because my dad kept having to leave and I moved homes for a few years. Then my mom met Ted and I was, unwillingly, initiated to this Kook life.” 

JJ lifted his eyebrows in shock. “You know most people see that as a like a Cinderella story.” 

“Well I see it like hell.” 

He let out a soft chuckle. 

“I know I should be more grateful of everything, but it’s just hard. And weird.” You’re back sitting beside him on the bed at this point. “Like, I’m just not use to this. I’ve never had a phone with internet until now and my mom keeps wanting me to pretend I’m some preppy fairy. And the kids here all suck. They have no personality other than their clothes and cars, and they don’t like me cause I don’t give a shit about that stuff. I really do hate it here. And I miss my dad. I haven’t seen him in years.” 

You plopped your head on the pillow and stared at your ceiling. It was nice to get all that off your chest, especially to JJ who’s been shoving his preconceived notions down your throat. 

“Well I almost feel sorry for you,” JJ said jokingly as you playfully shoved him. 

“But I get it, kinda. I don’t know. My mom passed away, so it’s just me and my dad. He’s,” he paused for a moment, “he has his quirks, you can say. We don’t get along too well, and he’s too busy working to really give me any real attention. It sucks.” 

“I’m sorry,” you comforted as he maneuvered so he was laying down next to you. You both rested side by side, fixated on your plain white ceiling. It was nice to finally talk to JJ without making a snide comment every two seconds. 

“Do you think it’ll get any better?” you asked, out of the blue. 

“You wanna know the truth?” You turned to your side, tucking your arm under your head, ready for his spiel. 

“I think we’re where we are for a reason. Do I wanna get the fuck outta here sometimes? Yeah. But I just know I’m meant to have this life and there’s not much I can do to get out. Just gotta take it day by day.” 

“C’mon, you never dreamed of going anywhere else in the world? Traveling?” you raised, a bit more enthusiastic than you intended to let on. 

JJ exhaled. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

The two of you laid in a comfortable silence for a while longer. There was, finally, an air of understanding between you.

“Why don’t you come to our side then?” JJ asked after a few minutes. “If you hate it here in Kookville so much, why don’t you try the other end for a change?” 

“I don’t know. My stepdad thinks The Cut is literally a death wish. He wouldn’t even let my mom go grocery shopping near there. It’s honestly kinda weird to me why he hates it so much.” 

“And he never told you why?” 

You shook your head and JJ retreated in thought. “I think he’s hiding something. Probably has a mistress over there to be honest.” 

You laughed and hit his stomach. “No! Him and my mom are literally attached by the hip! I don’t know... One day Macy went over to see a friend she met and he just flipped. Went over, took her away and everything. Maybe he’s just classist. I mean, he’s old money so I wouldn’t be surprised. But if he is then he wouldn’t have married my mom.” 

“Maybe...” JJ muttered. “I still think he’s hiding something. Could be drugs. You know I see Kook guys come over for coke sometimes. Then, on their lunch breaks, their dads come for the same thing. Father and son bonding if you ask me.” 

“Well, whatever it is, we can add this case to our mystery book,” you laughed. A real, heartfelt laugh. 

You and JJ spent the remainder of the morning talking about your lives, learning how wrong you each were about the other. He told you about the Pogues and how his friend Kiara, who you recognized from school, hangs out with them despite being wealthy herself. On the other hand, you continued to complain to him about all the stuck up nonsense your mother would make you do- to which he actively listened and pitched in his own amusing opinions. 

“What do you need etiquette lessons for? How hard is it to stick your pinky out when you drink?” 

The topic then switched to Topper and his crew. You settled on calling them the Veggie Tales which made you both erupt in laughter. “What was your first time like?” you asked bluntly. 

He threw you an odd look, but continued. “Tourist at a party. I was 15 and I think she was 17? I dunno, but she sure showed me the ropes that night.” He beamed up at the ceiling, thinking back to the time. 

“Aren’t all first times supposed to be really awkward and bad?” 

“Maybe. I don’t really remember it. Just her. She was fine as hell,” he had on his dreamy eyes. “What was your’s like?” 

You let out a sharp breath. You’d never told anyone about it until now. “Before I left the city I was dating this guy for a little while. He came from farmers, so we did it in his uncles barn.” 

“Aw, how romantic,” JJ commented before you smacked him with a decorative pillow. 

“Ow! What? I thought every girl’s dream was to do it with the chickens watching.” 

Your face knotted. “It was horses. And I still have nightmares to this day about the hay sticking at my ass.” 

The boy next to you snickered and went on to tease you about your story, cracking all the farm jokes his little blonde head could come up with. 

“I should get going soon,” JJ informed when you both settled down, “Thursdays I meet Kie at The Wreck to help out.” 

Your eyes jolted. “Thursday?!” 

You soared up from your bed and checked the time on your phone. “Fuck fuck fuck!” Your hands tangled up in your hair in stress. “My debutante lessons!”

“What the fuck is that?” 

“I have to go to Chapel Hill, my ferry leaves in 20 minutes,” you explained while hastily shoving heels into your canvas bag. Then it occurred to you that your parents took your car because theirs was in the shop. 

“Fuck! JJ did you drive here?” 

“Yeah, I parked my friend’s van by the gate,” he answered, still confused at the gibberish you spoke moments ago. 

“JJ I need you to take me to the dock right now! Please! I can’t miss this ferry.” 

“Alright, alright, hurry up then woman! The van only goes up to 110 on a good day.” JJ struggled to get his clothes back on and didn’t even notice his t-shirt on backwards.

You both sprinted out your house and to the front of the neighborhood, past the gate, and towards a clunky old Volkswagen that was parked on the side of the road. You hurried in as JJ fumbled with the keys before thrusting it in the ignition and speeding off towards the dock. 

“Fuck we’re not gonna make it!” you stressed, balling your sweaty palms, as your legs bounced on the torn up seat.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry! She’s old but just give her a minute,” JJ assured before he revved the engine and flew down the street. You were concerned at how he expertly steered the old clunker at 105 miles per hour but were too anxious about missing your trip to bring it up. 

He finally pulled up to the side of the dock. You sighed in relief, seeing people still boarding.

“Aaand here we are! With 3 minutes to spare,” JJ announced, flipping his blonde locks, proud of his Speed Racer work. 

“Thank you for the ride JJ,” you said as you exited the van, “and the heart attack.” 

“Hey, you got here in once peace didn’t you? So I don’t wanna hear it!” 

You giggled and shut the door, heading towards the herd of people while you dug in your bag for your ferry ticket. 

“Have fun at your degenerate lessons!” JJ called out the window at you before speeding away. 

You shook your head with a goofy grin before getting on. 

-----------------------------

chapter five

tags: @starkeybaby​ @obxlife​ @everydayimfangirling​ @iamaunicorn4704​ @tangledinsparkles​ @poguesrforlife​ @thx-quxxn​ @obxmxybxnk​ @rororo06​ @poguesforlife​ @ilymarkchan​ @outrbanks​ @hazelgirl355 @hsunflower @cinnamon-roll-seth​ @alotbnouf @tembo-ndoto​

[cotncandyboifics]

1989 [High School AU]: Chapter 1

AO3 Link

Masterpost

Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 7 ~ Chapter 8 ~ Chapter 9 ~

Pairings: slight Logince, eventual Prinxiety & Logicality

Word count: 1,780

Story summary: Roman Prince is your stereotypical Jock, with everyone swooning after him. Every day a crowd of people follow him around, only to disperse at his personal whim. In reality, he's lucky to have such good acting skills that help him cover up the disdain he has for his life. He only wishes he could use his skills properly.

Patton Whitelock's always there to lend a helping hand, no matter who you are. If you need a favor or just need someone to talk to, go to him. In reality, he's been taught from a young age that kindness should be held above all else. No one suspects that he took it the wrong way.

Logan Montgomery is the smartest boy in the Senior class. He's stern, and most people are too intimidated to speak to him. In reality, he despises most all of his fellow students. He sticks to his studies and doesn't stray, for fear of being stuck in his father's shadow his whole life.

Virgil Black is the most emo kid in school, let alone 12th grade; everyone knows to leave him be. In reality, he's very fortunate. He has two parents who love him dearly. But everything beyond his life, everything within his mind, is utter chaos and turmoil.

what will happen when they're assigned a biology project together?

General CW: food, swearing, implied s-lf h-rm, non-graphic descriptions of s-lf h-rm scars, graphic and non-graphic descriptions of anxiety attacks and panic attacks, drug abuse, minor character intoxicated on heroin, non-graphic drug overdose description, sickness/description of sickness, blood, non-graphic descriptions of needles, (will be added to as I write more)

Chapter CW: <none> (let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author notes: hook chapter go brr

...

Nice to meet you, where you been?

I can show you incredible things

Magic, madness, heaven, sin

Saw you there, and I thought

"Oh my god, look at that face

You look like my next mistake"

Love's a game, wanna play?

Roman checked his watch discreetly as he walked down the hall toward his first class. 7:58. He was almost late, but not quite. As he walked in, earning a glare from Mr. Berry and a few students, he glanced at the whiteboard. It read: "Tuesday, September 3 / Classwork: OT essay workday / Homework: OT Analysis and Essay due FRIDAY". The word "Friday" was written sloppily large and underlined. Roman just kept his sleepy poker face and walked to his desk, in the second-to-last row in the middle. He'd not noticed the shrunken figure at the desk next to him, whom everyone knew but no one liked. Virgil Black.

New money, suit and tie

I can read you like a magazine

Ain't it funny, rumors fly

And I know you've heard about me

So hey, let's be friends

I'm dying to see, how this one ends

Grab your passport, and my hand

I can make the bad guys good for a weekend.

Virgil shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets as he glared in Roman's general direction from behind bright purple bangs. His scowl deepened as Roman pulled out his notebook but didn't take his single earbud out, proceeding to doodle on the margins of his notebook.

Roman propped his head up on his right palm, tilting his head carelessly as he drew stars around a stick man's head. By this time, the plump red-faced man known as Mr. Berry, teacher of English 12, had taken his respected place at the front of the class for a quick lecture before they began classwork.

So it's gonna be forever,

Or it's gonna go down in flames

You can tell me when it's over,

If the high was worth the pain

Got a long list of ex-lovers,

They'll tell you I'm insane

'Cus you know I love the players,

And you love the game

"Good morning students," He said in a blubbering gritty voice, the sagging skin below his chin bouncing comically as he did so. "I trust you completed reading the rest of the book. Now, as I'm sure you've noticed, the Analysis and quotes along with your essay's final draft are due - both printed - on Friday. If you turn it in on Monday, it'll drop two letter grades, and any time after that is a zero. I should hope this first assignment will get you in the punctual mindset for my class." The large man was walking about the room, between desks checking for cheating or kids working ahead. He was strict, and didn't tolerate out-of-line behavior. As he completed his sentence, his eyes fell on Roman, who was still slouched apathetically, doodling, earbud in. The students watching Mr. Berry saw his face somehow achieve a deeper hue of red and his eyes bulge, as a bull does when it spots it's target. Roman however, didn't notice; a pale-faced Virgil tried to get his attention without the teacher noticing.

'Cus we're young and we're reckless,

We'll take this way too far

It'll leave you breathless,

Or with a nasty scar

Got a long list of ex-lovers,

They'll tell you I'm insane

But I've got a blank space baby...

And I'll write your name.

"Psst. Roman." he hissed in vain. Roman's earbud was in his right ear, the same side Virgil was sitting on, so quiet noises from that direction were inaudible to him. Despite the class's uneasiness as Mr. Berry made his way to Roman's seat, and though Roman was fully aware of the fat fuming man advancing on him, he made no change in expression or focus; merely, filled in the dark half of the yin yang he had sketched next to his name as he lightly mouthed the words of the song.

Mr. Berry stopped right in front of Roman's desk, looking down at him furiously. When Roman ignored him, he took further action. Just as Roman had completed the yin yang, a fat red hand came down loudly on his desk and a sudden "MR. PRINCE!!" Erupted from the old man's gullet.

Cherry lips, crystal skies

I can show you incredible things

Stolen kisses, pretty lies

You're the king baby I'm your queen

Find out what you want,

Be that girl for a month

Wait, the worst is yet to come... oh no.

Roman looked up at him slowly, but no trace of fear could be found on his face. Even, a slight smirk hinting at the corners of his mouth. But, not enough for the old man to notice.

"What sort of media is emitting from those... earphones?" Mr. Berry said, bug-eyed.

Roman held up the earbud that wasn't in his ear, looking at it. "You mean these?" He said.

Mr. Berry simply sighed and rolled his eyes frustratedly. "Yes, 'in those', Mr. Prince. You'd better have an adequate response."

Screaming, crying, perfect storms

I can make all the tables turn

Rose garden filled with thorns

Keep you second guessing, like

"Oh my god, who is she?"

I get drunk on jealousy

But you'll come back each time you leave

'Cus darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream.

Roman held the old man's gaze, as if searching for something within his grey-brown orbs. After a moment, he sighed quietly and said, "Taylor Swift."

His response earned a few snickers from other students, to which Mr. Berry scanned the room to see if he could bust two students in one go.

Most of the students thought he looked like Napoleon from the 1954 animated movie based on Animal Farm, a fair comparison. His balding head and fat body gave him an appearance that was quite comparable to a pig.

After a moment of glaring at a few of the known renegades of the class, he returned his focus to Roman. But, this time, he didn't appear as angry; rather, he was smiling gently, but his eyes still held an angry glow. "Since you see no point in listening to my lecture, I'm sure you wouldn't mind showing the class a sufficient outline for your first draft essay? Along with the requirements, of course," the senile man's smirk curled up into a grin as he spoke, tilting his head a bit. Roman merely smirked himself, and stood.

So it's gonna be forever,

Or it's gonna go down in flames

You can tell me when it's over,

If the high was worth the pain

Got a long list of ex-lovers,

They'll tell you I'm insane

'Cus you know I love the players,

And you love the game

Mr. Berry watched in moderate surprise as Roman walked swiftly past the rows of desks to the whiteboard, uncapped an expo marker, and began writing in neatly printed lettering. "Ok, so the final draft is due on Friday," He began, "So you should have your first draft completed by tonight. The essay must have at least five body paragraphs, a minimum of two quotes each-" Virgil watched, shocked, gripping his pencil so that his knuckles paled. "So I hope you've picked out your quotes already. The thesis needs to answer the prompt, obviously. Conclusion should be at least five sentences. So overall, about two or three pages. I'd recommend using this class time to create an outline in your notebook, and typing up a first draft. Have your second draft done tomorrow, and final details on Thursday. And because Mr. Berry is too... behind the times to use Google Classroom, you'll need to print it out and hand it in physically. I'm sure Mr. Berry isn't partial to the trees we're killing, so if you're in Environmental club, I'd not bother complaining." And with this final sentence, Roman touched up his writing on the board and walked back to his seat, never taking out his earbud.

'Cus we're young and we're reckless,

We'll take this way too far

It'll leave you breathless,

Or with a nasty scar

Got a long list of ex-lovers,

They'll tell you I'm insane

But I got a blank space baby...

And I'll write your name.

Mr. Berry was still standing over Roman's desk, now staring down at him with large eyes. He opened his mouth slightly to say something, but was interrupted by another student asking a question. From then on, Mr. Berry ignored Roman, which was an easy feat, as Roman did the same.

After a little over half an hour, the bell rang, and Roman slung his backpack over his shoulder and walked out. Mr. Berry considered asking him why he'd only doodled for the entirety of the class period and not worked on his essay, but his pride got the best of him, and he watched as the young man walked out of the room confidently.

Virgil had slipped out before Roman, and was now pretending to exchange things in his locker, which was unfortunately right next to Roman's. The tall jock walked up to his own locker, earning a scowl from the darker boy.

"What? Enjoy the show I put on in Mr. Diabetes' class?" Roman said, leaning against the lockers as Virgil shut his own. The dark boy just grunted and walked off, feeling Roman's eyes watching as he turned a corner. Roman smirked for the hundredth time that morning when he was gone and turned to open his own locker. When a few girls from the cheer team started to linger, flipping their hair and puffing out their chests, and Roman actively ignored them until he walked past close enough that a few of them let out squeals. He heard the usual murmurs from behind him, "he's so hot," and "I'd kill to be his date to Homecoming." He smirked to himself again, making his way to his Physics class.

...

Virgil spotted is best friend Patton in his usual seat as he walked into his second period Economics class. The boy smiled at Virgil up on seeing him, and waved happily.

"Hello Virgil!! how are you feeling this morning?" He said cheerily as Virgil took the seat next to him, sliding his backpack under the desk.

"Alright I guess." He thought about telling Patton about Roman, but thought better of it; Patton had enough on his plate to worry about as it was.

As for Patton, he had already taken to pulling out his notebook, preparing for a long class of note-taking. Economics was one of the most note-heavy classes either of the boys had, and usually required all their focus. As the teacher stood from his desk and turned on his projector, Virgil could've sworn he saw Patton staring at someone, but as soon as he looked, Patton focused on the teacher, readying his pencil. But, Virgil being the parano- vigilant person he was, followed what he thought was Patton's line of sight to... Logan Montgomery? What? Upon realizing who he had thought Patton was looking at, he brushed it off. There's no way Patton would be looking at him. is there?

[mcwriting]

The Marriage Project (4)

Hi everyone! Sorry this came late! I was soooo busy this week that I had to push this chapter back but I’m hoping to drop chapter 5 on Friday next week like normal. As listed in the warnings, this chapter has some heavier topics than the other 3 but the scene is relatively mild and not too descriptive. 

Story Masterlist

Word Count: 2808

Warnings: Mentions of verbal s*exual harassment, mentions of fighting/injury, strong language, angst 

% approximately the last weekend in September %

You sat at the back of the team bus on the way to the hotel, since the tournament was all day Saturday. You shared a row with Julia and was working on some calculus homework and listening to music while she talked to someone across the aisle.

When you finished, you took out your headphones and looked over at her. She was now playing on her phone.

“Hey, do you wanna bunk together tonight? I don’t feel like sharing a bed with Emily this week.” you whispered, making sure the freshman sitting a few rows up couldn’t hear you.

“Yeah sure. I was actually gonna ask you the same anyways.”

You were one of only two seniors on the team, so you and the other senior, Anna, were asked to split up and chaperone the girls whose parents weren’t coming to the tournament. Both of your rooms had three other people.

Once the team got checked into the hotel, you all went to dinner at a nearby chain restaurant where you, Julia, Anna, and a few other girls sat at a table together joking around.

After dinner, the team headed back to the hotel and were allowed to either hang in the lobby or your rooms, so long as you weren’t disruptive and stayed in pairs. You stayed in the lobby for a while but decided to go prepare for bed around 10.

Julia tagged along as your buddy, not saying much as you rode the elevator up. 

After changing and brushing your teeth, you sat at one corner of the bed looking into a wall-mounted mirror as you combed your hair to pull it into a braid. Julia had been watching the TV when she piped up.

“Hey, y/n?” 

“Yeah?” you didn’t look back at her.

“What’s going on between you and Tom?”

You paused mid-braid, then continued. 

“What do you mean?” your brows furrowed as you finished off the braid, wrapping the end with a hair tie.

“It’s just… you guys have seemed super close lately, and Sam said you’re at their house pretty much every weekend now. I thought you guys hated each other or something.”

You turned your body to look at her.

“Uhhhh we definitely still hate each other. We’re just partnered up for this semester-long marriage project in home ec. It’s whatever.”

“Oh. Okay then. It just seemed like something else I guess.”

Something else?

“Wait, what are you trying to say? Do you think we’re, like, dating or something?”

“Well you guys go to almost every one of each other’s games. And Sam said their mom loves you so it just seemed like… I don’t know.”

“Whoever thinks we more than hate each other is wrong. Just the idea of him and I together grosses me out so much. Once this semester is over, he and I probably won’t speak to each other again until the day I’m chosen valedictorian over him.”

“Okay, well, I’ll let Sam kn-” 

She was cut off by the sound of the door opening as the two freshman girls who were taking the other bed came in giggling.

Glad to finally be out of that conversation. 

After a few more random conversations, you all decided to go to bed and rest up for the tournament early the next morning.

It’s when you rolled over onto your side to face the wall that thoughts of your conversation with Julia began racing. Did people really think something other than a fake marriage was going on with Tom?

Exhaustion got the best of you before you could dwell on it further.

%

You sat in calculus Monday morning listening to the announcements. Your name and a couple others were listed off from the winning sports. The team had won, and you’d gotten tournament MVP.

The class congratulated you, so you jokingly did a royal wave around the room, stopping to look at Tom.

“That’s how it’s done. You guys may have won too, but I think I beat you out this time.”

“Yeah, good job.”

What. Why was he congratulating you?

“Uhhh. You don’t have anything else to say? No insult, no witty clapback? Who are you and what have you done to the Tom Holland I know and hate?”

He shrugged.

“I just don’t have anything negative to say. I mean, you got MVP and the team won. That’s pretty impressive.”

Now you knew something was up. In all your years of knowing Tom, he’d never been this nice. Sure, he’d sometimes say “nice shot!” when you scored more than one goal in soccer but he usually was able to find a way to pick on you at the same time.

You were working on a new sewing project in home ec later, sharing what happened with Alexis.

“Maybe he’s just not feeling well or something? He probably just couldn’t think up something fast enough,” she suggested.

“You don’t get it, Lex. It was so not like him. After Thursday, and what Julia said Friday night, something weird is going on, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.” 

Wondering if anything was out of the ordinary with him now, you looked over to where he was, only to find him looking back at you.

Weird.

In senior art that afternoon, you worked on an acrylic beach landscape you’d been doing with a palette knife. 

You were listening to music and intently focused when you felt a presence loom over you and noticed a hand resting on either side of you.

You ripped out an earbud and turned to see Tom leaning over your seated position, looking at your artwork.

“What the- Tom! What in the hell are you doing?” you pushed him off you and he stepped next to your chair, arms folded over his chest.

“Just looking to see how you were doing, princess. I think it needs a sailboat.”

“Okay first of all I’m not even done but like… why were you leaning over me like that? I was kinda in my zone there.”

He uncrossed his arms and pointed one had around the canvas.

“Well I was mostly coming over to say you had a little something right,” he poked a finger from his other hand onto your nose, leaving a dot of paint, “there.”

“Thomas Holland. If you don’t get the hell away from me and my artwork right this second I will literally beat you up in front of this entire class. You know it’s true too.” you threatened through grinding teeth.

“Are we having a problem over here?” your art teacher interjected, causing you to both look at her. You pointed at your nose.

“Mr. Holland here doesn’t know how to keep his hands to himself.”

“Tom. You know how I feel about messing around with art supplies. Now go sit down, you still have a lot to go on your own painting.”

He sighed and headed back to his seat. 

“Y/n, why don’t you go wash that off real quick. I’ll keep an eye on your canvas for you.”

You got up, brushing past Tom. First, he’d been super nice this morning, and now he was putting paint on your nose like a little kid? 

It was infuriating to think about.

Wednesday, it was like he was even worse.

He flipped between being the nicest guy ever to trying to humiliate you every chance he got. 

The final straw was during your free period when you’d typically have volleyball practice (it was a game day). You’d walked by some of the football team who were practicing on the field and some players tried to catcall you, yelling disgusting sexist comments and whistling. Instead of sticking up for you, Tom just looked at you sheepishly as they laughed.

You just stuck up a middle finger and kept walking, as you were running errands for your volleyball coach and didn’t want to be too long.

After school, you stormed out of the school building and caught sight of him leaning against his car talking to a few of the guys from before as his brothers stood around nearby.

When you were about 20 feet away when you yelled out at him.

“Hey Tom! What the hell?”

His conversation paused and he turned to you. The other guys laughed and waved him bye as you approached.

“I’m sorry, but what?” he asked when you reached his car. You tossed your volleyball bag onto the asphalt.

“What is wrong with you? First you’re super nice to me, then I catch you staring at me in class and then the whole paint thing, and that was just Monday. Then today you flip from nice to asshole, and just sit idly by when your friends fucking harass me!?”

“I was just messing around like we always do! And come on, it was just a whistle and a couple jokes, y/n.”

“That’s the thing! It’s not just a whistle or a joke! Call it that when you read the countless stories of women who are attacked for simply ignoring a guy or trying to stand up for herself! I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BEG YOU AND EVERY OTHER MAN FOR SOME SIMPLE RESPECT!” you were yelling and breathing hard. “I guess I thought that after the past few weeks we had come to some kind of an understanding, but apparently I was wrong. You’re still the biggest asshole I know.”

“Y/n, please. You know I would never do anything to actually harm you, right? I’ll talk to the guys and figure it out. I mean, what else do you want me to do?”

“Maybe we should get a ‘divorce’ on this stupid project. It’s obviously not working out,” you spat.

“I- okay.”

You were taken aback. Did he really just agree?

“Okay? That’s all you have to say? You really want to go through with it?”

“Well, if it’s what you feel is best, I’m not going to stop you from talking to Mrs. Flynn.”

“Okay, then. I’ll see what she wants us to do.” you said, much more calmly.

With that, you picked up your bag and walked off, wanting to cool down before your game.

“Damn, Tom. That’s rough,” Harry said once you were out of earshot.

“Yeah, dude. You should’ve stood up for her. That’s not cool,” Sam added.

Tom hung his head for a minute, not sure what to think, then straightened up, shaking it angrily. 

“You’re right. She’s right. I need to find those guys.”

%

Things had cooled down for you by the time you’d eaten a snack and hung out with some of the team for a little bit. You didn’t tell anyone what had happened, but by the way Julia kept looking at you, you figured Sam had told her.

An hour before game time, you went to go put on your kneepads and volleyball shoes. As you passed through the gym, Julia hopped up from her seat next to her boyfriend and rushed up to you.

“Whatever Sam said, I’m over it now. I’m just going to channel it into the game” you told her before she could get a word out.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Sam said you seemed pretty shaken up.”

“Look, jules, I know you’re trying to help, but now isn’t the time. I just need to focus on one thing at a time, okay? Let’s just win this and then maybe later we can talk.”

You sped up past her to where the group was in a circle, already doing stretches. You felt bad for blowing her off, but you had other things to worry about.

%

Your team lost the first set for the first time all season. You just couldn’t get your head in the game. You had fumbled a few sets and sent your hand into the net while hitting not once, but twice. You’d even sent a serve straight back to the wall on the other side of the gym.

You were now sitting on the bench listening to your coach yell at you, taking it all in. You were looking at her directly when a figure coming through the door caught your eye. It was Tom.

You tried to pay attention to coach, but the second she turned her attention to someone else, you glanced at him sitting by his brother. 

His lip was split and he caressed one hand in the other. His hair was also all over the place and one cheek swelled slightly.

Did he get into a fight?

Even though you were still mad, something inside you appreciated his presence. You also felt concerned, but obviously couldn’t do anything about it from the bench.

You instead decided to do what you knew best, which was win. The team came back in the end and did just that. A few people were congratulating you when you saw Tom and Sam leave the gym.

“Uh, sorry guys but I need to go do something. See y’all tomorrow though!” 

You jogged into the hall, frantically looking both ways before seeing them.

“Wait! Tom!” you called, running to catch up with them. They stopped, Tom not making eye contact with you when he turned as Sam watched cautiously.

He looked worse up close. 

Where his cheek had only seemed swollen before, now there was a blue and purple bruise beginning to form, surrounded by pink inflamed tissue. His bottom lip also was red and puffy around the split, and when you glanced at his hands you noticed the darker bruises on each knuckle.

“Tom…” you said softly, scanning him. “Are you okay?”

“What does it matter to you? We hate each other don’t we?”

Sam took that as his cue to go back to the gym, you assumed to find Julia.

You let out a sigh and looked away. 

“I don’t ‘hate you’ hate you. Yeah I hate when you’re better than me at something or you’re acting like a douchebag, but I don’t, like, want you dead or anything. I mean, you know that, right?”

You searched his face for a sign that he was getting you. After a few seconds of him staring at the ground nervously tapping his foot, he replied.

“Well I don’t hate you either! Yeah, you can have an ego and it gets on my nerves, but I’ve always thought we had just a playful hate-love thing. Like… I don’t know... Doofensmirtz and Perry the Platypus.”

You let out a chuckle at that one. 

“That… actually. Yeah. That pretty much sums it up. I never actually wanted to hurt you, and I’m sorry that I did but what you did today was so not cool, man. I thought we at least tried to look out for each other a little bit. That stuff hurts. A lot. Because being a woman means I don’t know when it might cost me more than just being the butt of a joke.”

“I realize that now, and I’m so sorry for trying to trivialize you. I didn’t really think about it in the moment because it’s never affected me. I might be in trouble tomorrow because of it, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“After you left, I was so mad at myself. I marched straight over to the guys, who were then trying to laugh about you coming to talk to me, and I just… swung right on Harrison. He’s the first guy that whistled.”

“Tom…”

“And then I may have gone after the other two while I was at it. They tried to fight back, which is why my face looks like this, and I just went nuts. They gave up after realizing I wasn’t gonna back down.”

You tried to hold back tears. You always knew in the back of your mind that Tom cared a little bit, but not like this. One slipped out onto your cheek.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you whispered, trying to keep a steady voice. He reached out and brushed his thumb over your tear.

“Yes I did. Who else was going to teach those dickheads, huh? Obviously no one else in their lives have cared to.”

“Well thank you. It means a lot… and I didn’t go talk to Mrs. Flynn after our little spat outside. I wouldn’t mind staying as your ‘bride,’ if you’ll have me.”

He looked at you skeptically for a few seconds then smiled.

“Yeah, alright,” he pulled his necklace from his shirt. “Who else would rub icy hot on my back and make pie with my mom?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me of the first one,” you laughed.

After a few seconds, you held out your arms.

“We good?” 

He grinned, taking your offer for a hug and wrapping his own arms around you.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

%

A/N: Thanks for reading! Like I’ve mentioned in the past, this will not be the last of heavy topics and some future scenes will actually be more descriptive, but I will make it explicitly clear where those scene are so you can have discretion. Love you all so much!

Tag List: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @l0lmk, @primadonnasdream, @bookworm06, @thenoddingbunny-blog, @agentnataliahofferson

[tsukkiscake]

what goes on || tsukki x reader || ch. 2

so here’s chapter two! please send me an ask if you want to be on the taglist! i might update this frequently in the beginning and then slow down as i go back to school. i’ll AT LEAST update once a week, but most likely more than that! also, i think each chapter is going to be named after a beatles song. i didn’t mean to incorporate the beatles so much, i was just listening to my beatles playlist as i listened and it fit really well 😳 an KNEE WAYZ! here is ch. 2! 

word count: 1k

ch. 1 || ch. 3

During your middle school years, you were always in advanced classes. This meant being in class with some of the same kids every year. Tsukishima Kei was one of them. You guys had been in the same class for all of middle school. At the end of your last semester of middle school, you hear Tsukishima and another one of your classmates, Yamaguchi Tadashi, discussing their plans to attend Karasuno High School. Looks like another year of Tsukishima for you. This year, you were determined to become at least his friend. This was proving to be a lot harder than you originally intended.

Chapter Two: Getting Better 

The first week of school went by far too quick. Even though Tsukishima was your seatmate, and even though you were eating lunch with him and Yamaguchi, he spoke a total of four words to you in the first week. 

“You dropped your pencil,” Tsukishima said to you on Thursday morning. He handed your pencil back to you and went back to his stoic self. You stated your thanks, but you weren’t sure if he listened to you. 

On Monday of the second week of school, you were starting to doubt your plan to befriend that rude, walking beanstalk. However, you were beginning to become better friends with Yamaguchi, which made you wish to be friends with Tsukishima even more. 

You were the first person to get to class this morning. You walked to your seat by the window, setting down your bag and putting your headphones on. You played another Beatles song. Your mom introduced you to them when you were little so the music comforted you and made you feel all warm. Today's song was Getting Better. 

I've got to admit it's getting better (Better)

A little better all the time (It can't get no worse)

I have to admit it's getting better (Better)

It's getting better

Since you've been mine

You closed your eyes and leaned back in your chair, waiting for the day to begin. When you felt someone's presence next to you, you opened your eyes and peeked over to see Tsukishima sitting down, Yamaguchi standing next to his desk. You removed your headphones when Yamaguchi waved at you. 

“Morning (Y/N)!” Yamaguchi said, enthusiastically for 8:25 in the morning. 

“Morning Yamaguchi,” you replied, sleepily. 

“Have you joined any clubs yet (Y/N)?” Yamaguchi asked. Most people tended to join their clubs within the first couple of weeks of school. 

You shook your head, signifying you hadn’t found a club yet. “I just don’t know what I want to do. In middle school, I was a part of the swim club, but my times just haven’t been improving so I don’t think I’m going to join the team here. I was thinking about maybe the science club though!” 

“Me and Tsukki play volleyball! We had our first practices last week and our first three-v-three match this past Saturday,” Yamaguchi said, smiling. 

“You guys play volleyball? That’s so cool! In middle school I almost joined the girls volleyball club, but I went with the swim club instead. I just love how weightless I feel in the water,” you stuck your arms out to either side, mimicking floating on your back in a pool. “It makes sense that you guys play volleyball though! Yamaguchi you look almost six feet tall, while Mr. Beanpole over here is well over the six foot mark. Right, Mr. Beanpole?” You asked Tsukishima, teasingly. 

He huffed slightly. “At least I’m not a runt like you.” 

Your jaw dropped. Not because he insulted your height, but because Tsukishima finally talked to you. You began to laugh. 

“EVERYONE is a runt to you! You tower over literally everyone in our year! If I hadn’t known you from middle school, I definitely would’ve thought you were some third year in a first-year class!” 

Tsukishima glared at you while Yamaguchi tried to hide his laughter. 

“Anyways, I’m glad you can actually talk, Tsukishima-san. This past week it’s been like I’ve been talking to a wall,” you laugh again, Yamaguchi smiling too. 

“Of course I can talk. I just choose not to talk to annoying runts,” he shrugged his shoulders and put his headphones on. You just laughed in response to this, glancing up at Yamaguchi. 

“Don’t worry, (Y/N), Tsukki is like this with all of his friends.” 

You smiled at what Yamaguchi said. He called you Tsukki’s friend. Hopefully, this could be the beginning of an actual friendship. 

_______________________________________

Every morning, you got to class before Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. You would wait for the two of them to appear and you’d have a friendly conversation with Yamaguchi while Tsukishima sat there with his headphones on. You used to get a little annoyed that Tsukishima would just ignore you and Yamaguchi like that, but one day while Tsukishima was in the bathroom during break, Yamaguchi told you a little secret. 

“Tsukki isn’t always listening to music when his headphones are on. If the people around him are having a conversation, he’ll turn his music off and listen in. He just doesn't talk a lot.” You laughed a little at this, it made perfect sense. It was a way for Tsukishima to not have to participate in the conversation, but still be able to be a part of it. 

After Yamaguchi told you this, you started to engage more with Tsukishima, even with his headphones on; doing small things, such as directing little comments towards him or asking him questions. 

One morning you asked him, "Tsukki, what kind of music do you listen to?" 

"Don't call me that, Runt. And I listen to everything," Tsukishima huffed in response.  You sighed, Tsukishima just loved not telling you anything about himself. 

You, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima were becoming a pretty close bunch. It was about a month since school began, and you ate lunch with them everyday, as well as hung out with them during class breaks.

It was almost May now. The weather was turning more mild, but the evenings and early mornings were still cold. 

You had your hands in the pockets of your school jacket and your headphones on this morning, as you walked towards the homeroom for class 1-4. You had a small skip in your step as you listened to Good Day Sunshine, once again by the Beatles. 

Good day sunshine

I need to laugh, and when the sun is out

I've got something I can laugh about

I feel good, in a special way

As you enter the threshold of your classroom, you noticed Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are already there. You took off your headphones. 

“Good morning, Yamaguchi, Tsukishima!” You smiled and walked their way. As you approached your seat, you noticed a small, crumpled note on your desk. It looked a lot like your own pastel stationery. You put your things down and picked up the note. It read; 

‘How was your spring break Tsukishima-san?

-(L/N)(Y/N) :)’ 

But there’s a new addition, written in Tsukishima’s neat handwriting. 

‘Fine. Runt.’ 

hehe i hope you guys liked chapter two! remember, send me an ask/dm if you wanna be on the taglist! 

here’s a link to my extensive beatles playlist if you wanna vibe while you read: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6HA7Jan0UWD4tFmYQJ612e?si=B9cfGlplQZu7cZjH_5T-sQ 

maybe i’ll make a playlist just for this fic when it has enough songs mentioned in it hehe 

taglist: @mitiyou​

[platypanthewriter]

Unless...? Ch. 2/4

Previous

The next Monday, Steve waited, twanging random chords, but Billy didn’t show up.  After another unproductive hour, Steve took the risk of driving by his apartment and knocking on the door, and Billy smiled just as bright, his eyebrows high and startled.  

“...hi,” Steve tried, and Billy laughed, shaking his head.  

“...we could get a pizza,” he said, looking from Steve into his apartment, and backing in to hold the door.  The light behind him gave him a glow of warmth, and Steve smiled, thinking how sad and lonely it was to wish Billy Hargrove was in his house to welcome him every night after work, like Billy didn’t have his own life to live.

Steve grinned and shook his head.  “Thanks,” he told Billy, and sidled in, keeping his hands in his pockets.  

Billy dropped onto the couch, watching him, and glanced at the TV.  “We could—we could see what’s on,” he suggested, and Steve nodded, laughing for no reason.  

His cheeks felt warm.  “Y-yeah,” he nodded, clearing his throat.  

They watched something with a hospital—Steve had no idea what—too focused on how feverish he felt, warm and restless, and yet cool enough that he twice caught himself leaning into Billy’s shoulder.  

Billy leaned into him, finally, and Steve let him.  

Steve couldn’t help wishing he was a kid, again, instead of a grown man—a kid that could curl close around Billy, and rest against his shoulder.  He swallowed thickly, and tried to focus on the TV show, and not the way its flickering light accented the tattoos across Billy’s stomach, or the way the pizza grease gleamed on his lips. 

After a couple slices, he got up to leave, and Billy blinked up at him, his smile cautious.  “You...don’t wanna stick around?” he asked, and Steve blinked, then couldn’t help a fond grin.

“I can’t stay for a sleepover, I have work in the morning,” he said, and Billy laughed, cocking his head.

“Maybe...this weekend?” he suggested, and Steve wanted to curl up on the couch with him again, but imagined the awful night he’d have, sleeping on the couch in his jeans—or buying pajamas, and a toothbrush, to stay the night in another man’s front room.  

“Uh,” he answered, trying to picture it.  “Maybe?”

“After work,” Billy said, leaning over the arm of the couch so his butt stuck out in his tight jeans, and Steve’s face felt hot as he looked away, embarrassed like he hadn’t been since middle school for wanting to stare at somebody fascinating.  

He remembered pretending to be Han Solo, and his face heated further—he’d posed in the mirror, his shirt open like Harrison Ford’s, but even once he got older and had some muscle tone, he’d realized, he’d never look that...magnetic.  “Maybe sometime,” he creaked out.  “After work.  I guess.  We could...do that.”

His goodbye was awkward, and he fled down the stairs without looking back, hoping Billy didn’t think he was insane for showing up at his apartment and mumbling replies while Billy watched TV.

 That Friday night the musical guests were Steve’s old friends, a group he’d played with in highschool and college, and he’d struck a deal to get them to come out after their European tour that involved way less bribery on his end than he’d anticipated.  “Sure, man,” Dalton said, laughing.  “We’ve been wanting to see how a band runs a bar.”

It was fun to see them, and they even wanted to play some of his old crap instead of just their new set, so he let himself get bullied into singing.  When he glanced over, Billy waved, and Steve waved back, like a dork.

Robin stared between them the whole set, speaking of dorks, and he was gonna tell her off, but she stomped over to wave her arms at Jonathan like they had some kind of secret conversation going on.

Steve took the high road and ignored them whispering, wandering over to the bar again. 

Billy slid him a shot of whiskey.  “Sounded good up there,” he said, coming over to lean in front of Steve, and Steve sat up straighter, so their faces weren’t inches apart.  

“I used to play with them,” Steve said, shrugging, and grinning.  He opened his mouth to explain and Billy snorted.

“I do listen, jesus.  Sounded like they were trying to, uh, lure you back, actually.”

They had been, and Steve was considering it—not permanently, but for a local event or two.  “Mmmn,” he said, sipping his whiskey.

“Do-d’you think you’d go,” Billy asked casually, grabbing his paring knife partly by the blade to cut a lime, and going still, his eyes clenched shut, as he cut his thumb open and squished lime juice in it at the same time.  He set his jaw, and he looked so long-suffering Steve started giggling.

“Shit,” he snickered.  “Wash it, I’ll get you a band-aid.”

“It’s fine,” Billy shrugged, stepping over to hold his hand over the sink, and Steve followed, taking Billy’s hand carefully in both of his and checking the sliced-open skin.  It was right inside the first bend of Billy’s forefinger, and he squeezed it, sighing.  It welled blood.

“Stop that,” Steve hissed at him, turning Billy’s hand in his to rinse it gently.  “Don’t make it worse.”

Billy let himself be tugged around, smiling.  “I’m not gonna bleed out, Harrington,” he said, and Steve rolled his eyes, and handed him a wadded up piece of paper towel to press against it.  “I’m gonna get you a band-aid.”

“Yeah, gimme a good one,” Billy told him, and Steve nodded, rifling around for fun band-aids.  

“We’ve got bug-eyed kittens,” he reported back, and Billy raised his eyebrows.

“...not even Power Rangers,” he said, and Steve grimaced, nodding, and suppressing a smile.  

“Not even Power Rangers,” he agreed with a heavy sigh.  “I’ll put in a complaint.”

“...I better at least get a kiss to make boo-boo better…fucking hell,” Billy trailed off into a mutter, screwing his whole face up like he’d bitten the lime.  

Steve laughed, glancing at Billy’s rapidly-flushing face, and then lifted Billy’s kittened finger and pressed it to his lips, and then he felt his face heating hotter than Billy’s, and slid a ten dollar bill across the counter for the whiskey.

Billy just stared at it, so Steve grabbed it and stuck it in his tip jar, instead.  Steve’s old band yanked him back up on the stage, and they’d brought him more whiskey, which he mostly doled out, but they seemed to think he should drink his own present.  

By the time the bar closed up, Steve was just lying on his back on the stage, his feet hanging off the edge.  The lights were refracting, like, four times as much as usual, he said to the air, and then Billy’s voice laughed.

“...Billy,” Steve said, rolling onto his side to look at him.

“Hey,” Billy said, crawling up on the stage to sit next to him.  “Uh, Robin—she said I should...take you home.”

“Ohhhh,” Steve said, then reached out to pat Billy’s knee, and missed, kind of, his fingertips brushing warm denim.  “You don’ gotta,” he said, “I’m...fine.”

“I think you’re pretty drunk,” Billy told him, and his voice sounded really nice, which Steve told him.

“You sound nice,” he sighed.  “But I’m okay,” he said again, stroking Billy’s knee, and squeezing it, a bit, so he wouldn’t lose it now he’d found it.  “I’ll sleep...here.  On the...on the microphone cords,” Steve announced, realizing he couldn’t feel them.

Billy caught his hand, laughing, and held it.  “Beds are better, though, huh?”  Steve watched his face, thinking aloud about how Billy’s eyes looked different under the lights, and Billy caught his other hand, when Steve tried to touch his mustache.  “Lemme take you home,” Billy whispered.  “Slumber party, remember?”, and Steve nodded, then narrowed his eyes.  

“...hey,” he mumbled.

“Hey, what?” Billy asked, pulling him up to sit.

“...tricked me,” Steve accused him, and Billy nodded slowly.

“Oh, yeah, I’m pretty tricksy,” he said.

“...that sounded unneesslarily sarcas...tic,” Steve accused him.  “Sarclastic.  I...conoclast.”

“Wow,” Billy told him, scooting him to the edge of the stage, and then jumping down himself.  “Okay,” he said, pulling Steve off into his arms, and Steve studied his face, rubbing both thumbs over Billy’s mustache, as Billy laughed, trying to yank his head away from Steve’s hands without dropping Steve on his ass.

“Heya, Tom...Selleck,” Steve told him.  “...your cheeks are really...really warm.”

“Oh my god,” Billy muttered, hauling Steve out past Robin, who just waved.  Billy finally stopped trying to keep him upright, and just scooped him into his arms, and Steve hugged him around the neck.  “Oh my god,” Billy repeated, as Robin laughed.

“You’re a—bad—traitor!” Steve yelled at her, waving a fist over Billy’s shoulder, and she gave him a thumbs-up.  “...bastard,” he mumbled into Billy’s collarbones.  “Sorry.  I don’t wanna...should’n be your problem.”

“You’re not a problem,” Billy said, trying to unlock his car with Steve’s legs across his arm.

Steve kissed his cheek and whispered “Thank you,” like he was five, and Billy nearly dropped him, scrambling to get the door open, and dump him inside.  He didn’t wait for Steve’s apology, either, slamming the door and pacing around in the parking lot making growling noises.  

When he yanked the door open and climbed into the driver’s seat, Steve opened his mouth to apologize, and then remembered to put his seatbelt on, but it caught around his arm somehow, and finally Billy leaned over to help, and Steve sat very still.  As the mechanism clicked, he reached up and rubbed his thumb over Billy’s upper lip.  “Hello Mr. Caterpillar,” he said, and Billy stared at him, then started laughing as Steve’s hands explored his mustache and jawline.

“Fold your hands while I’m driving,” Billy told him, and Steve nodded, crossing his arms as Billy started the car, and checked his phone.  “...kinda curious where you’d take us,” Billy said, backing out, “—but it’s pretty late, so—”

Steve nodded vaguely, studying Billy’s hand on the gearshift.  It was bigger than Nancy’s, and it’d been warm.  He liked it, he thought, but he kept his hands to himself as ordered, until they got to his house, and he thought about the artsy floating cement stairs his landlord had convinced him were cool.  “Billy,” he whispered, and Billy nodded, looking over.  “Um,” said Steve, trying to formulate a perfect sentence, and unbuckling his seatbelt, to lean in and watch Billy’s eyes widen.  “...Billy,” he started again, and Billy bit his lip, his eyes wide, as Steve whispered, “...I m-mustache you to help me inside.”

Billy burst into snickers, shoving Steve back against the door, then came around to help him out.  

“You should stay,” Steve told him, once they hadn’t died on the stairs, and Billy’d stopped swearing.  Steve’s arms hurt from Billy’s fingers digging in as he tried to keep them both upright, and Steve took his shirt off to rub at them, tottering into the kitchen to pull a bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups out of the cupboard.  

“...candy,” he said, waving it, and Billy laughed, scooping Steve’s shirt up off the ground, and laying it across the kitchen island.  “What are your tattoos,” Steve asked, pushing the bag at him.  He staggered over to yank at Billy’s shirt—and Billy let him, taking shallow breaths as Steve fumbled with silky blue cloth and tiny buttons, and slid clumsy hands over his chest.  He didn’t actually get any more buttons open, but Billy’s shirt was already open halfway down his chest.

Billy sat the bag of candy on the kitchen island too, catching Steve’s fingers as they slid around his sides.  He laughed breathlessly.  “What are you doing,” he asked, and his voice cracked, which was hilarious, until Steve’s fingers caught on a ridged scar.  He pushed Billy’s shirt away from his shoulder, ignoring the butterfly tattoo covering the rough skin, and spread his fingers to feel that it’d been a long, jagged cut.

“...what happened, no,” Steve asked, running the palms of his hands over Billy’s chest, as much as he could, with Billy’s hands gripping his wrists.  

“...just being a moron,” Billy whispered, as Steve stroked it more gently, feeling the skin under his fingers shiver.  His breath was warm.

“...why’d it...scarring so bad,” Steve asked, the soddenly drunk part of his brain unable to accept Billy wasn’t his, and he had no right to know.  “What—what happened.”  He leaned half against the kitchen island, and half against Billy, concentrating on his words instead of his feet.

“I just fell, I was drunk,” Billy said softly, and Steve nodded, watching his face, and waited, running the back of his knuckles gently over the twisted skin.  “I didn’t go to the hospital,” Billy whispered, finally, laughing.  “My uh, my Dad said if I was such a dumb shit, I could just bleed out.”

Steve bit his lips together, and nodded.  “...no,” he said, and Billy snorted a laugh.

“No?”

“You can’ do that,” Steve told him, fighting with his numb mouth.  “You can’t bleed out.”  

“Okay,” Billy said, smiling a little softer, and Steve brushed a thumb over his mustache again, and got his hand smacked away.

He stroked his hands up Billy’s sides, and stopped when Billy inhaled sharply.  Steve crouched for a second to brush his fingers around a bruise.

“Oh, that’s—” Billy laughed again, and Steve stood up again, staggered, and steadied himself against Billy’s shoulders.  “That’s just…”

Steve waited, muzzily, for Billy to say ‘I tripped,’ or something, but he tried to back away into the kitchen island, shaking his head.  “...what is it,” Steve asked.

“I’m dating somebody who knows I’m a dumb shit too,” Billy said, forcing another laugh, and Steve pushed away, stumbling a little as he yanked the freezer open.  “...whatcha doing?” Billy asked, and Steve groaned.

“Making coffee,” he muttered, looking over his shoulder, and nearly falling as his balance shifted.  “Can’t talk about this drunk.”

“We don’t need to talk about anything,” Billy said, clenching his fingers on the edge of the counter.  “I was just dropping you off—”

“The fuck are you dating, She-Hulk,” Steve mumbled, spilling ground coffee across the counter, and Billy elbowed him out of the way with a sigh, scooping the mess into his hand, and dumping it in the sink.  “...I thought She-Hulk was cool,” Steve told him, feeling bereft, and Billy started laughing again, leaning his face in his arms on the counter.  

“I’m not battered,” he laughed.  “I’m not a weakling.”

“No,” Steve huffed, tottering over to the cupboard with the coffee mugs.  “But...She-Hulk’s an asshole,” Steve announced.  “...treat you...right.”

“Holy crap,” Billy wheezed, cackling.  

Steve reached out and rubbed Billy’s back through his shirt, feeling him shake with laughter.  He felt solid, muscled and sturdy, and Steve’s hand lingered, thinking about the way Billy’s voice had shaken calling himself a dumb shit.  Steve stroked his spine like he was a cat, leaning against the counter next to him, and Billy just let him, leaning while Steve ran his fingers through Billy’s hair.

“Jesus, you’re so drunk,” Billy mumbled, his voice muffled by his arms.  If he’d been somebody Steve was dating, Steve thought, he’d have leaned over and kissed Billy’s nape, where his hair had fallen down past his chin, and the chain of his necklace showed against his neck.  Steve ran his thumb up and down the gap between Billy’s hair and the collar of his shirt, feeling bones through smooth, warm freckled skin.  

“Lemme play you a song,” Steve whispered, into the quiet of their breathing, and Billy twitched.  His skin was hot to the touch.

“...what,” he whispered back.

“Lemme play you a song,” Steve said, louder, smoothing his hand over Billy’s shoulder blades.  “Y’know...payback.  F’r—for me being, um, a pain in the ass.  I guess.”

“...you’re not a pain in the ass,” Billy said softly, and Steve yanked the collar of his shirt down and smacked a kiss there, as Billy made a weird noise like a Disney elephant.

“What the fuck,” he whispered, and Steve laughed, stepping back, and tucking his untrustworthy fingers under his arms.

“Sorry,” Steve mumbled.

“...okay,” Billy said, after a long pause.  He cleared his throat.  “...you, uh...you want me to make some coffee?”

Steve went still, staggered by the brilliance of the idea.  “...you’re perfect,” he said.  “You’re not a dumb shit.  I love you.”

Billy groaned into his arms.  “...go siddown, jesus christ.”

“I love you so much,” Steve told him, stumbling along as Billy put a hand on each of his shoulders, and walked him out to the couch.  “Let’s get married.”

“Yeah, sure, straight boy,” Billy told him, turning him in place, and shoving him backwards to sprawl across the couch.  

“Oof.  ...we could get straight people married,” Steve told the ceiling.  “For—for taxes.”  

“No one does that,” Billy called back, laughing.  

“We could, though,” Steve told him.  He could hear the water running into the coffee pot, and he sighed happily, then let himself roll off the couch with a loud thud.  The coffee pot rattled as it hit the counter, and Billy came running out of the kitchen as Steve sprawled in front of the couch, stretching to reach his acoustic guitar.

“What the fuck,” Billy said, dropping to sit next to him.  “Don’t just fall off the couch, I thought you’d died.”

Steve leaned back against the couch, strumming.  “You could live here/Sleeping next to me,” he sang, with the ease of finding notes that always hit when he was drunk off his face.  “I could write you songs/Make my drunk ass coffee.”

“Jesus,” Billy whispered.

“I don’t play music for dumb shits,” Steve told him, and Billy’s chin jerked up.  “So you can’t be one.”

Billy stared at him, then burst out laughing, as Steve tried a few more lines.

“Marry me, Bartender Billy,” he crooned, and Billy laughed harder, burying his face in his hands.  When the coffee beeped, he got up and brought Steve a cup, and sipped his own, sitting shoulder to shoulder with him on the floor, as Steve tried random chords.

“Weddings are fun,” he pointed out, and Billy coughed, then wiped his eyes.

“...friends don’t get married,” he pointed out, softly.  “Drink your damn coffee.”

“They could if they wanted,” Steve huffed, strumming, and leaning his shoulder against Billy’s.  “Marriage for frieeeeeends,” he sang.  “Fun never eeeeeends~”

“Shut up, nerd,” Billy snickered, leaning his head on Steve’s shoulder with a sigh.  “What about when you...if you meet somebody you—actually.  Want.  Want to, uh, marry.”

“I turned down like four dates in the last couple weeks,” Steve laughed, leaning to bonk their heads together.  “I mean.  I had plans, y’know?  With you.”

“...that doesn’t—”

“What would you wear,” Steve asked.  “I’m thinking...Las Vegas.  Hawaiian shirts.”  Billy started snickering, and Steve grinned at him.  

“Not getting married to anybody wearing a Hawaiian shirt,” Billy declared, and Steve idly strummed Your Song, by Elton John.  Billy sighed, his head heavy against Steve’s shoulder.  His voice was soft.  “You can’t even bother to dress up?”

“Oh, no, you want a tux?” Steve laughed, seguing into the Wedding March, and Billy snorted a laugh.  “I can wear a tux.  Or you want me in what,” he narrowed his eyes at the kitchen, thinking, then shot a thoughtful glance down at Billy.  “...you want me to wear the lace, huh.”

Billy spit his coffee, and scrambled up off the floor for paper towels, as Steve nodded.  

“Okay,” Steve nodded, the time since he’d drank, and the coffee, starting to help him string words together if he paid close attention.  “We talking, like, lace under the tux, or some kinda...man-dress,” he asked, squinting as he tried to picture it, and Billy yelled incoherently, stomping back over.  

“Friends don’t get married,” he hissed, dabbing at Steve’s carpet, and Steve switched to a note-by-note rendition of Pachelbel’s Canon in D, having spent long minutes at several weddings listening to it.  

“I don’t want you marrying somebody else, though,” Steve muttered.  “I bet she wouldn’t like slumber parties.”  

“...you wear a lace thong under a good suit, and I’ll marry you,” Billy said hoarsely, and Steve laughed, delighted.  

“That sounds uncomfortable as shit,” he declared.  “You’re on.”

“Oh my god,” Billy whispered, groaning into his hands, and Steve yanked him in close again, by the back of his shirt.  

“We gotta pick wedding music,” he said, switching songs again, and Billy glared at Steve’s hands on the guitar.  

“...are you playing the Scorpions at me,” he asked, and Steve shrugged.

“You recognized it, Mr. Hair Band,” he pointed out, and Billy sighed, settling in next to him.  “‘Course, really, I’d write you a song,” Steve told him, “—for our wedding,” and Billy sighed.

“You’re so weird,” he whispered.  He consented to write down their ideas, though, sitting there scribbling with a pen in one of Steve’s music-writing notebooks, and Steve snapped his picture.  It took about eleven tries, and finally Billy’s head was leaned back on the couch cushions as he laughed, his legs in a relaxed sprawl, and Steve set him as his lock screen. 

“What about a beach wedding,” Steve suggested.

“Mmm,” Billy snorted, his mouth quirking, and Steve took his picture again.  He looked tired, his head resting in his folded arms as he grinned.

“You don’t think I’m serious,” Steve told him, and he laughed.

“Nope,” he said, smiling.  “I think what you are is drunk.”

When Steve started to fall asleep for the third time, he scrambled to his feet—more clearheaded, but still clumsy—and drew Billy up with him.

“I should head out,” Billy said, and Steve grabbed his wrist and hauled him into the bedroom.  “...the fuck is happening,” Billy asked, in a weird thin voice.

“Slumber party,” Steve said, biting his lips, and looking as pleading as possible.  “I, uh, I’ve got some of those flannel pants, y’know.”

“You want me to sleep in your bed,” Billy whispered, blankly, and Steve stumbled over to his dresser, and poked around for the feeling of thick flannel.  

“Look,” he said, temptingly, “—they’re plaid.”

“I don’t give a shit if they’re plaid!” Billy squawked, holding his hands up, and Steve waved a pair in the air.

“They’re soooooft,” he said, coaxingly.  “They’re waaaarm.”

“Why are you doing this to me,” Billy groaned, but he held out a hand, and Steve smacked some flannel pajama pants into it.  

“Listen to your husband,” he said, and Billy smacked him with the pants, over and over, until Steve was laughing so hard he had to sit down on the bed, and Billy stomped out, through the kitchen, and into the bathroom.  Steve pulled his pajama pants on, and a t-shirt, remembered he hadn’t given Billy one, and looked up to see him hugging himself and shivering in the doorway.  

Steve could finally see some tattoos, in the dim light of the reading lamp—a smoking skull on one shoulder, and words along Billy’s collarbones.  He had his arms folded over his chest, though, and Steve drug his eyes away.

“Hey, bro, c’mere,” Steve said, waving his hand, and Billy sighed, then came in, and even crawled in the bed when Steve leaned way over and pulled the blankets back.  

Now he was shirtless, Steve kinda didn’t want to cover him back up.  He crawled closer to look at Billy’s tattoos, and Billy curled up like a pillbug, yanking on the blankets.  “Get off the blankets, you—fucking—bro,” Billy growled, and Steve bit his lips.

“...can I see your tattoos?”

“Jesus.  Some other time,” Billy muttered, yanking on the blankets, and Steve threw them over him, but he could still see the elegant black outline of the butterfly over Billy’s collarbone and shoulder, and he tried to lean and see more, subtly.

“...fuck are you doing,” Billy sighed.

“I like your butterfly,” Steve said truthfully, and Billy laughed sharply, reaching up to brush his fingers over it.  

“I was in this stupid group,” he muttered.  “I mean,” he said, rolling onto his back to frown at Steve, “--the--the women there weren’t dumb, it was stupid as hell I was in there.  I just went ‘cause—” he gripped the tattoo again, digging his nails into the scar, and Steve crawled closer, reaching out helplessly to squeeze Billy’s foot.

He laughed, unsteadily.  “They, um, they’d all had--way worse, you know, fucking--terrible shit.  Happened.  But the--um, the group leader lady would ask me shit.  And they’d kinda--they’d talk to me, after a while, I kept pretty quiet and they got kinda--brave, y’know, and they asked about my skateboard—” he pulled his arm out of the blankets, and ran his knuckles over the tattoo Steve had seen, on his arm.  “I told them about Max,” he said softly.  “She’s my sister, we got this dumb tattoo together, hers is a camaro—”

Steve laughed, lying down to listen, and Billy’s cheeks reddened as he cleared his throat.

“Anyway,” he said, reaching up and touching the butterfly, and the scar it concealed, “--they had--they had scars too, and one of them--she was rad,” he laughed, “--she said we should all get tattoos.  Sort of...reclaim the scars, she said.  They asked me about the lady that did ‘em.  We all went, we all got tattoos.”

“...that’s really cool,” Steve told him, reaching out, chickening out, and sliding his fingers between Billy’s, instead of touching his jagged scar.

“Yeah, we still meet up sometimes,” Billy said, watching Steve’s thumb rub his hand.  “I’m not very good at listening to them, I guess."

“That’s okay,” Steve told him, just wanting him to look less depressed, and Billy's mouth quirked.

Steve shivered, and Billy punched his shoulder.  “Get the fuck in bed.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, grinning, his stomach a little fluttery.  He crawled back to his side of the bed and switched off the light, then slid under the covers, reaching out for Billy’s warmth.  “Are you little spoon or big spoon,” he whispered, and Billy started laughing again, a little hysterically.  He shook with snickers as Steve slid both arms around him, hugging him close, and then he was stiff as a mannequin for a long second before muttering “God fucking damn it” and slumping back against Steve’s chest.  

Even after bartending all night, he smelled good, and Steve let himself drift.  He heard Billy whisper ‘Harrington,’ and then, ‘Steve’, but he felt weighted with drowsiness.  He felt Billy’s stubble brush his cheek as he drifted off.

Steve woke up refreshed and warm, on the wrong side of the bed, all by himself.

[emutempo]

Zero to Hero (domestic SuperCorp one-shot)

Summary: Lena gets off work early and thinks she’s going to surprise Kara on date night…

Posted to my Ao3 here.

Notes: I'm kinda new to SuperCorp and this little one-shot popped into my head and refused to leave until I wrote it out. I've never written SuperCorp before so hopefully it’s not too ridiculous and you liked it. If you did, let me know! And if you didn't, I guess you're welcome to let me know that too? More notes at my Ao3 link.

-----------

Lena sighed louder than she meant to. She was stuck in a conference room with her team of lawyers presenting her with a tedious update on the contractural affairs for her latest acquisition.

She’d been through so many of these over the years, each just as dull as the next. But, Lena valued every person working for her and she hated to seem like was bored or not giving them her full attention. Lena loved running L Corp and she was not the kind of CEO to sit by and take a paycheck without putting in the work. But she thrived in the lab, looking through a microscope and in the boardroom making deals. Not so much with power points crammed with legalese in tiny fonts. But, it was hard to focus and her mind wandered again...

Tonight was date night with Kara. Dinner at 7 and a movie on the couch after. For tonight, Kara had insisted on cooking her mom’s lasagne recipe, one of the few carbs Lena let herself eat without restriction. At least, I’ll work off the calories later tonight with Kara.

 Lena fought the corners of her mouth to keep them neutral. She didn’t want to have to come up with some excuse for why she was grinning like a cheshire cat about multi-million dollar deal structuring. Although, she was looking forward to the acquisition of the new company’s tech… Shit, focus Lena.

 Luckily, when Lena brought her eyes back to the power point, she realized no one had noticed her day dream. And when she was sure all eyes were on the power point, she glanced stealthily at her watch — 4:57PM. Oh thank God. She had a video conference call at 5PM. Although she was itching to get home to Kara, she was glad for the excuse to get out of this meeting even if it was just for another meeting. Lena waited for the right moment to interrupt…

 “My apologies gentlemen but I have a meeting in a few minutes in my office. Could we pick up with the horizontal integration plan on Monday? I am really grateful for all the hard work you’ve been putting in on this deal and I’m personally very excited for this acquisition.”

 The lawyers nodded and thanked her for her time. Lena shook their hands as she left the conference room and walked briskly back to her office. Only one more meeting and then I’m home with Kara.

 Lena pulled out her tablet and opened an email with some tech mock-ups. She turned the corner, heading to her office and approached Jess’s desk, where Jess is just getting off the phone.

 “Did we set the call up for video and screen share, Jess? I know it’s last minute but I want to share those mock-ups we just got from R&D with Mr. Garcia.”

 Jess turns to her computer and pulls up her calendar, “Actually Ms. Luthor, Mr. Garcia had to reschedule. His assistant just called. He had a family emergency. His father had a heart attack.”

 Lena stops in her tracks, stricken for a moment. “Oh no. What hospital is he at?”

 Jess shakes her head. “I’m not sure but I can find out?”

 Lena nods. “Yes, please if you can. And when you do, please send him some flowers. I’ll send you a note to include.” Lena took a step to her office but turned back to Jess, “And if you can find an update on his condition, let me know. I’ll have our doctors look at his charts and see if we can offer any help.”

 Jess nodded and turned back to her computer, picking up the phone and dialing as Lena heads back into her office.

 Lena’s brow creased, worried for the man and his family. She had only met with Mr. Garcia a few times but she was struck by his humility and clear love for his family. When he explained the motivation behind his prototypes meant to help his daughter with mobility issues, Lena teared up. Listening to him describe watching her laugh and smile as she played with other kids, never minding her body’s limitations… it had hit Lena hard. 

 Lena turned to her desk and typed out a quick note to Mr. Garcia and sent it off to Jess before logging out. Whatever she could do to help Mr. Garcia, she would.

 With her things collected, Lena headed out of her office and said good night to Jess. She rode the elevator down to the garage and climbed into the car waiting for her. With the lull of the car rolling down the street back to her place, Lena slipped back into her memories and thought about why she had teared up in front of Mr. Garcia.

 But she didn’t have to think about it much at all. She knew why: Kara. Lena finally understood what it felt like to have something as precious as having Kara in her life. Before she met Kara, she'd been a vault of emotion, never showing a drop of it to anyone. But since Kara... well. She had trouble holding back, even in front of potential future colleagues. Damn you, Kara. Even now, sometimes she still couldn’t believe she and Kara were together. Like… together-together.

 When they’d first admitted their feelings for each other and took their first steps in their relationship, Lena would often become overwhelmed with anxiety. Consumed by the fear it wasn’t real. That she’d just imagined Kara confessing her feelings for Lena, Kara kissing her so sweetly the first time, Kara staying the night for the first time…

 The fear would take over so intensely that Lena would stand in front of her or Kara’s apartment door, terrified to knock. Terrified Kara wouldn’t be there… or worse.

 The first couple of times, Kara had rushed to the door to find Lena having a panic attack, struggling to catch her breath and paralyzed with fear. So, Kara had started listening for Lena’s heartbeat when she was on her way home and made sure she was at the door, waiting for Lena every time. It had taken a few months and quite a few therapy sessions with Kara to overcome the anxiety but eventually the panic attacks stopped.

 But, even though the attacks stopped, Kara didn’t stop showing up at the door when Lena would come home — even after Lena assured Kara that she didn’t have to do that anymore. It had become one of their ‘things’ and for Lena’s part, her heart sang every time Kara met her at the door. It was the part of her day she looked forward to most.

 The sound of the partition lowering in the car took Lena out of her reverie.

 “We’ve arrived, Ms. Luthor.”

 Lena slung her purse over her should and thanked her driver before leaving the car and shutting the door. Suddenly, she remembered again... she was coming home early and hadn’t bothered to text Kara a headsup. It’ll be a surprise then… Well, not exactly. Kara would have heard her coming. Lena smiled to herself as she pictured the look on Kara’s face when she heard Lena approaching. She didn’t care if she surprised Kara or not but, just in case, she would try to calm her heart and not give herself away…

 Lena walked across her lobby at a brisk pace, nodding to her doorman before entering the elevator and pressing the PH button for her penthouse. As the elevator rose, taking her closer and closer to home and to Kara, Lena took deep breaths and focused on calming her heartbeat, failing a bit when the elevator dinged and stopped at her floor.

 Quietly, Lena took out her keys and unlocked her door slowly. To her surprise, Kara wasn’t on the other side, waiting for her. Before Lena can set down her bag and keys, she hears music carrying from the kitchen…. Is that gospel music?

 Lena closes the door quietly, and strains to hear the music as it fades out. There’s a beat of silence and just as Lena things the music's off and opens her mouth to call out to Kara, she hears the vibrant notes of another song start up…. Oh. Oh my God.

 Lena can’t stop the fat grin that’s quickly growing across her face. She sets down her bag and keys. Then tip-toes down the foyer as we hear Kara’s voice start to sing over the track.

 “Bless my soul! Herc was on a roll. Person of the week in ever Greek opinion poll.”

 Lena slowly leaned around the corner to find… Kara wearing an apron, spatula in hand as she sings and acts out the lyrics. Lena watched in awe as Kara mimed brushing dirt off her shoulder as she sang...

 “ What a pro, Herc could stop a show.”

 Swinging the spatula, Lena watches Kara karate kick into the air, as she sings with some gravel in her voice…

 “Point him at a monster and you're talking SRO.”

 And Lena bit her hand to stifle a giggle. A grin of admiration and total love in her eyes.

 “He was a no one. A zero, zero.”

 Kara made a zero with the index finger and thumb on her non-spatula hand and pumped her hand in the air to each ‘zero.’ Then she made her hand into a ‘megaphone’…

 “Now he's a honcho, He's a hero! Here was a kid with his act down pat.”

“From zero to hero in no time flat. Zero to hero just like that.”

 Kara snaps her fingers and grabs a glass dish. She bends over, giving Lena a very nice view as she opens the oven door and places the dish on the rack, singing all the while. 

 “When he smiled, The girls went wild with, Oohs and aahs.”

 Lena can’t help herself. She oohs and aahs silently along with the lyrics, never taking her eyes off Kara. So this is why Kara didn’t hear her.

 Lena recognized this song from one of their many Disney nights even though she wasn’t totally sure which movie it was from. Hercules, was it? But Lena didn’t have much time to think on that as her favorite part was coming up and she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop herself.

 Ever since the first time Lena had sung along to Part of Your World with Kara on one of their other Disney movie nights, she promised herself if she could ever elicit that kind of look from Kara again — one of pure awe and adoration — she would. Lena watched Kara close the oven as she sang…

 “And they slapped his face, On ev'ry vase… On—”

 Loud enough to be sure Kara heard her, Lena sang out…

 “On ev’ry vahse”

 Kara whipped around and squealed in surprise, almost knocking over a large Peppermill next to the stove top. A flash of her stealy eyed look crossed her eyes for the briefest moment before they landed on Lena. Then, a flash of embarrassment at getting caught singing and dancing so intensely.

 (From appearance fees and royalties, Our Herc had cash to burn.)

 But Lena knew Kara wasn’t actually embarrassed. This wasn’t the first or even hundredth time Lena had watched Kara sing her favorite Disney songs… in the car, in the bathtub and the shower, at the gym with Lena, on walks in the park, lying in bed, waking up together, falling asleep together.

 And Lena loved every second of it. Especially when Kara would carry Lena on trips into the sky to dance under a meteor shower or just lay in the clouds together under the stars. More often than not, Kara would sing to her. Sometimes it was When You Wish Upon a Star. Or Somewhere Out There. But Kara’s favorite to sing to Lena was I See the Light. Lena still hadn’t seen that film yet but there was something hopeful about it and the way Kara looked at her that made all of her anxieties melt away. Made her believe that she and Kara’s love for each other was as eternal as the stars.

 But Lena didn’t have long to linger on the thought before Kara’s embarrassment was quickly replaced by a big, golden smile and a blur whooshing across the living room. Before Lena realized it, Kara had captured Lena in a hug and peppered her face with kisses. They stared happily at each other for a half second before Kara pulled back with a twinkle in her eye. Lena giggles because she knows what’s coming.

 ( Now nouveau riche and famous )

 Kara throws her head back and snaps her fingers as she sings…

 “He could tell you, What’s a Grecian urn!”

 Lena giggles and playfully swats at Kara’s butt, pushing her back toward the kitchen, following a couple steps behind. Kara turns so she’s walking backward to the kitchen, still singing and dancing but now with Lena as her audience.

 Lena’s grin grows as Kara smiles through her singing. Miming the lyrics, Kara puts her hand up to her forehead like she’s searching for something…

 “ Say amen, Ah there he goes again, Sweet and undefeated.”

 Kara flashes 10 fingers at Lena…

 “And an awesome 10 for 10!”

 Kara bit her lip, trying (but not really) to hide the smirk on her face as she brought her arms up and flexed…

 “Folks lined up, Just to watch him flex…”

 Lena bit her lip, HARD, and shook her head. Kara knew what she was doing and stopped trying to hide her smug look as she bounced her shoulders and puffed her chest to…

 “And this perfect package, Packed a pair of pretty pecs. Ow.”

 Lena couldn’t help it anymore. She shook her head and locked eyes with Kara while she slid her blazer off in that sexy way she knew Kara liked. Now it was Lena’s turn to look smug.

 “Hercie, he comes, he sees--”

 Kara froze as the song continued in the background. She caught Lena’s eye and tilted her head slightly. Lena could tell she was listening for her heartbeat. Not that Kara needed to. She didn’t need her super hearing to pick up on what Lena wanted.

 Kara’s eyes shot up to Lena’s once she heard the pace of Lena’s heart pick up. And at that, Lena turned and walked straight toward her bedroom. Lena didn’t need to have super hearing either to hear Kara scrambling to turn on the oven timer or to hear the ripping sound of Kara tearing the apron off.

 (He showed the moxie brains, and spunk

From zero to hero a major hunk

Zero to hero and who'da thunk)

 Lena barely made it into the bedroom before a whoosh of sound rushed in behind her, slamming the bedroom door shut. Lena grabbed Kara and pulled her in close. 

"How long do we have on the lasagne?"

Kara leaned in, hovering her lips over Lena's, "forty-five minutes."

"Great. More than enough time to work up an appetite before dinner."

 (Who put the glad in gladiator?

Hercules!

Whose daring deeds are great theater?

Hercules

Isn't he bold?

No one braver

Is he sweet

Our fav'rite flavor

Hercules, Hercules ...

Bless my soul

Herc was on a roll

Undefeated

Riding high

And the nicest guy

Not conceited

He was a nothin'

A zero, zero

Now he's a honcho

He's a hero

He hit the heights at breakneck speed

From zero to hero

Herc is a hero

Now he's a hero

Yes indeed!)

[unloved-cadillac]

Leather Jackets and Glasses Three

Y/n L/n, the leader of the notorious gang called The Scouts. Placed in Rose high, Y/n is in her senior year but things take a turn when she starts getting interested in a certain boy named, Levi Ackerman. Follow the journey of heartbreak, betrayal and love between two people who were destined to be together.  

CHAPTER THREE:

It was Monday and the day was just about to end. One more period and I could go home and sleep. I hated Mondays. But I guess, the days became a bit more bearable since I had someone to look forward to. I just finished English and was heading down to my locker to fetch my French books. So when I walk, I pass Levi’s locker. As I turned into the Galway I see Reiner. His back is facing me, but I knew that hair anywhere. The problem was, he was towering over Levi. I sneak up and catch a few words that Reiner’s disgusting mouth.

-You better stay away from her. She’s mine.

-I don’t know why you’re talking about.

-Don’t give me that bullshit. I saw you two on Friday. Stop trying. She’s not gonna go for someone like you. She needs a man.

Alright that was it.

-I’m sure you aren’t talking about yourself Reiner. You’re not even half the man Levi is.

I say. Reiner turns around and looks at me. Levi widens his eyes when he sees me. I lock eyes with Levi.

-Hi Levi.

-H-hey Y/n.

-Reiner, you’re being an asshole. A bigger one than you already are.

-Aw come on, babe. I know you want me. This short stack doesn’t have a chance with you.

-And neither do you. I don’t want you. Who fooled you?

-You’re just playing hard to get.

-Oh really?

I cross my arms and kick him in his balls. He falls down and screams.

-I’m sure you wanted that.

I tell him. I walk up to Levi and grab his hand.

-Want to get outta here?

He blushes but looks confused.

-We still have one more period.

-Oh come on, Levi. Bunking one period won’t hurt. Please?

I do my best puppy eyes and he gives in. I smile and take him to my car.

-Where are we going?

Levi asks me as he buckles himself in. I put the car into reverse and drive.

-I have no clue.

It was true. I had no idea where we were going. But I didn’t feel weird about it. And it looked like he didn’t either. It took me a while to register but I was literally alone with him. Driving to God knows where and there was no tension. It felt...right. After driving for a couple of minutes he turns to me.

-Y/n?

I hum in response.

-Are you going to prom?

I tense up. Oh shit. I think I know where this is going.

-uhm...yeah. I am. You?

I say. He smiles a bit.

-I am. I was wondering...would..would you like..t-to go...with me?

I widen my eyes and look at him. But a quick glance, cause you know, gotta drive.

-I was going to ask you properly. But, you know.

He says and laughs nervously.

He was going to ask me. Wow. I smile to myself. Sorry, guys. Looks like I’m going to prom.

-Levi, I would love to go to prom with you.

I tell him and smile. He smiles too. We drive for a while and I ended up at this cliff. I parked the car and we saw the sun start to set.

-Listen, Levi. I’m sorry about Reiner. He is such an asshole.

I apologize to him. I put my head on my hands which were on the steering wheel. Levi doesn’t say anything and I start to get a bit worried so I pick up my head and look at him. Levi was looking at me.

-L-Levi? You okay?

Did I just...I just stuttered. This boy.

-Yeah. I’m fine. It’s just...why haven’t we spoken before?

I got a bit taken back from his question. Mostly because I didn’t know how to answer it. Why didn’t we speak? Was it my ego? Was it because I never acknowledged him before?

-I..I don’t know. I just...I had my set of friends and I thought I didn’t need anyone else. What about you? Why haven’t you spoken to me?

I ask as I rest my face in my hands. He looks out at the sun and back to me.

-I guess..I wasn’t really good at speaking with girls. Apart from Hange and Isabel, I never could. I did try once and that backfired.

-What happened?

He chuckles

-Well it’s a funny story. See I liked this girl. Petra, I’m sure you know her.

-A bitch but go on.

He smiles.

-Yeah. So she started to speak to me one day, out of the blue, and I kinda got attached to her. But when I tried speaking to her out of class she straight up ignored me. Like I only existed in class. So, I went up to her by her locker because she forgot her lip..gloss? Is it? Yeah, she left it and I tapped her shoulder and said,”Hey. You left this” and she said,”Why did you take it!? You nerd.” And threw her water on me.

I widen my eyes in shock.

-What the hell is wrong with her!? I could kill her right now.

-Oh god. Please don’t. Knowing you, you probably would.

I laugh. I mean, I really laugh. Levi laughs with me. We laughed for a while until I look at the time.

-Holy shit. It’s half past 4? How long have we been laughing??

I turn to Levi who laughs.

-A while I guess.

-Ugh I’m so tired.

I lean back. I look over to Levi and an idea pops in my head.

-Wanna drive?

He whips his head to look at me.

-Uh..if it’s ok with you. You do look tired.

I smile and open the driver’s door and hop out and Levi does the same. We pass each other and switch seats. We get comfortable and I ask Levi.

-Can I have your number?

-Ugh, Y/n! I was going to ask first!

He chuckles. Damn. I love it when he laughs.

-Loser’s weepers. Come on. Tell me.

I pull out my phone and he tells me his number. I instantly message him and his phone dings. He pulls it out and looks at the message.

-Glasses? Seriously?

-Yeah. Why aren’t you wearing them by the way?

-Oh I only need them to read. 

-You look cute with them.

He blushes, again. 

-Shall we leave?

-We shall.

Levi drives us back to town and drives to his home first.

-My mom is gonna flip.

-Oh shit. Yeah I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just dragged you out of school.

-Are you kidding me? After years of being “the good boy” I finally did something wrong. And it’s all thanks to you, Y/n.

He glances to me.

-But still, I don’t think your mom would like you to hang around me. I’m a bad influence.

I say as I look out the window. It’s true. Many parents had told their children to stay away from me. They think they’re slick when the whisper but I hear everything.

-Oh shut up. You’re not.

Levi suddenly says. See, if it were anyone else who told me that, their teeth would be knocked out, but I didn’t feel the need to punch him. I just...accepted it. Like he was telling the truth. The drive back was nice. The sun had just set and the sky was painted a beautiful orange. We make it into a neighborhood where all the posh people lived. I didn’t expect Levi to come from here.

-Whoa you live here?

I ask, surprised.

-Yeah. Mom is a real estate agent so it’s good pay for her. Don’t let this fool you though. This neighborhood is filled with stuck up bitches who look down on everyone and everything. I should know because when we moved in here a couple of years back, we didn’t have that many furniture or stuff. So it was just a big old empty house. Many of our neighbors gave us sympathy and some told us,”Why don’t you just move back to where you came from? It surely must be easier.” And now look, Mom owns most of this place and people never dared to underestimate us again.

Levi tells me. Wow. I never knew. Levi was a hard worker. You could tell. He always gave his 100% on everything he did. We pull up to this amazing big house on the inside of the neighborhood. He pulls into the driveway and turns off the car. We stay quiet for a bit.

-Do you want to come in?

Levi asks me.

-Huh? Oh no. I don’t belong here. I’d just be intruding.

Levi scoffs.

-Oh please don’t make me laugh. Come on. Farlan is here and I think Isabel too. Stay for a bit.

He says sincerely. I look at him in awe. He really doesn’t care does he? He doesn’t even care I might rob him.

-Well...aren’t you afraid I might rob you or something?

-Rob me? Why would you do that?

-I don’t know. You probably got a lot of nice stuff in there.

-Well, then I give you permission to take anything you want. Just not my tea. Or my cleaning stuff.

I quirk my eyebrow at him. Tea? Cleaning stuff? Goofball.

-I guess...a few minutes won’t hurt.

Levi smiles.

-Great. Come on.

He opens the door and we jump out. Even the air here smells...clean. I let Levi lead the way and we enter his house. I take of my shoes and my Naruto socks are on display. Levi looks down and laughs.

-Nice socks.

-Thanks.

-Mom! I’m home!

He shouts as he turns on the lights.

-Levi Ackerman, where the hell have you be- oh hello there.

His mom comes to us. She looks just like Levi. The jet black hair, hers being longer, her iron blue eyes. She looks at me and smiles.

-Levi, since when do you bring pretty girls home?

-Mom. This is Y/n, a friend of mine. Y/n this is my mom, Kuchel Ackerman.

-Hi, Mrs Ackerman. It’s very nice to meet you.

-Oh honey, please call me Kuchel. And Levi..

She pinches his ears.

-Why are you home so late? I was worried sick when you didn’t come home with Farlan.

-Sorry. I just went for a drive. Nothing to worry about.

-Still. At least tell me where you are so I don’t have to worry like that.

-I will. Oh and Mom, Y/n is staying for dinner.

-Wha-What? No. I’m not. I said a few minutes. I should leave.

-Oh, Y/n. Stay for dinner. I made Levi’s favorite. Chicken curry with rice.

Oh shit that’s my favorite too.

-Oh. Well I guess...

-Not guess. Will. I’m gonna go take a quick shower I’ll be back in 5.

He tells me. I smile and he leaves. I go into the lounge to see Farlan with a sleeping Isabel laying on his lap.

-Y/n?

I wave at him.

-Come sit.

I sit on the sofa and watch TV. Dr Phil is on.

-Dr Phil, huh?

-Yeah. It’s Izzy’s favorite show but as you can see

He motions to her

-Fast asleep.

I chuckle.

-Oh y/n? Thank you for telling me about the car garage. He redid the whole thing and it’s not making that weird sound anymore. Got a free paint job too.

-Oh. Sure thing Farlan. If you need anything else let me know, okay?

-There is one more thing.

I turn to face him.

-Levi is pretty shy, so go easy on him.

I blush.

-Oh. Oh sure thing Farlan.

I avoid his gaze and look back at the tv. I can see from the corner of my eye he is smiling. Idiot.

-Alright, kids. Dinner’s ready.

Kuchel comes and tells us. I wake up and Farlan wakes up Isabel.

-Izzy, honey. Food.

She instantly wakes up and is full of energy. How the fu-

-Oh! Y/N! Yay, Levi- bro finally asked you to come for dinner. I’m so happy.

She smiles and grabs my arm. I smile back. So Levi has been talking to them about me? Cute. We go to the dining room and Kuchel sets up the table.

-Oh, Kuchel, do you need some help?

I offer.

-Oh, thank you, dear. If you don’t mind, can you get the rice from the kitchen?

I nod and make my way to the kitchen. I find the rice and pick it up and make my way back to the dining room. I see Levi coming down with a towel while drying his hair. I set the rice down and Isabel motions to me.

-Come sit by me, Y/n!

I smile and walk past Levi. Holy hell. Whatever soap he used smells amazing. I guess he picked up on that and smirked. Shy my ass. I sit by Isabel and she looks at me.

-I like your hair. It’s very pretty.

I widen my eyes. I have never been called that before. I blush and thank her softly. Levi sits across me and we all start eating.

-So, Y/n. What courses do you do in school?

-I do physics, maths and French.

-Oh that’s nice. So you must be pretty smart.

-Haha well, physics is getting pretty hard. Not that Levi would agree.

I say and look at him.

-I 100% agree with you. But don’t worry. Just push through it. It’s your final year so better give it all you got and that’s the best you can do.

That’s the most inspiring thing anyone has ever told me. Not even my mother told me that.

-And if you do have any trouble I’m sure Levi would be happy to help you.

She tells me. I smile and look at my food. Levi kicks my foot and I look up. He doesn’t look at me though, which makes me confused. I take another bite of my food and oh my god.

-Kuchel, this is the best chicken curry I’ve ever had.

I compliment her. Kuchel smiles.

-Aw thank you, Y/n. Would you like some more?

She asks me. Well, since I haven’t had a home cooked meal in a couple of years, since I’ve been surviving on take out and ramen, it’s best just to savor this.

-Yes please.

She takes my plate and dishes out more. I eat it all. This probably was the best meal I have ever had.

-Y/n. Are you going to prom?

Farlan asks me. I stop eating and look at him. I chew slowly and smile. Since my mouth is full, I nod.

-Oh that’s great. With who?

This little- he knows exactly who I’m going with.

-Levi.

I say. Kuchel widens her eyes.

-Levi! How did you not tell me??

-I asked her today, Mother.

He says as he takes another bite of food.

-Well, Y/n. If you need a dress or someone to get your hair done, I know a couple of people willing to help. Just shout and I’ll get it done.

My heart softens at her sincerity. How can this woman be so kind to someone she doesn’t even know?

-I will. Thank you.

I flash my voice cracking a bit. I feel like I’m gonna cry.

-Uhm, Kuchel, may I use your bathroom?

I say sniffing a bit. I catch Levi’s eye and him furrows his eyebrows like in a way to ask,”What’s wrong?”

-What happened, Y/n? Too spicy?

Isabel jokes. I smile at her.

-Oh sure. It’s up the stairs, down the hall, to the right.

-Thank you.

I wake up and go to the bathroom. I go and lock the door. Fuck. I feel like I’m having a panic attack. I have no idea why though. Is it because this is what it’s like to be loved by a mother? I let a few tears fall and wash my face. I look in the mirror and see my face, eyes red. I can’t go out like this. I look around to see the window. But it’s too small for me to jump through and by the looks of it, there’s no roof or anything below for me to jump down on. I rinse my face with cold water once again, and calm myself down.

I’ll leave. I’m sure they won’t mind.

I unlock the door and make my way downstairs. I sit back at the table and wait a couple of minutes. But it looks like the Gods are kind of on my side because I get a message from my father.

Where are you? It’s getting late. Come home.

Fuck.

-Uhm, I’m sorry to leave so early but it looks like my dad is worried about me.

-Oh, sure honey. No problem. Let me pack some food for you.

-Oh it’s no big deal.

-I insist. Wait 5 minutes. I’ll be right back.

Kuchel leaves to pack my food and I say goodbye to Farlan and Isabel and Levi escorts me to my car.

-Do you have to leave?

Levi asks me.

-Yeah. My dad is gonna freak out. Thank you for inviting me into your home, Levi.

-I should be thanking you. Today was great. I hope we can do it again sometime.

I smile and Kuchel comes out with a Tupperware of food.

-Hey you go, Y/n. Thank you for dropping Levi off.

-It’s no problem, Kuchel. Thank you for the food.

She brings me in for a hug and it catches me off guard. Is this a mother’s love? I pull away and hop into my car. They wave me off and I get outta there to face my father.

*In Levi’s Room*

Knock knock

-Come in.

Farlan enters Levi’s room. Levi is busy with homework.

-Hey man.

-Hey.

Farlan lays down on his bed.

-Feet off the bed.

Levi says without even looking back. Farlan laughs and puts his feet down.

-Izzy gone home?

-Yeah. She left a couple of minutes ago. So..

Farlan sits up. Levi turns to look at his brother.

-You and Y/n, huh?

Levi blushes and looks away.

-No.

He says. He wasn’t sure, but one thing he knew was that he was slowly falling in love with her. She’s not at all what he had expected her to be. She was calm with him. Not speaking over him, laughing. Or maybe he was looking too much into things.

-Oh come on, Levi. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. Plus, you’re taking her to prom! How cool is that!? You can make a move on her.

Farlan winks.

-Do you really have to make it seem so lewd? I’m not even sure if she was being serious.

-Levi. I love you and everything but you really are stupid.

Levi picks up his head and looks at Farlan.

-She told our mother she’s going with you. Why would she lie to her?

Farlan does have a point. If Y/n didn’t want to go with him she could’ve just said no. But she didn’t.

-Yeah. I guess you’re right.

-See? But you don’t have to worry. Prom isn’t for another 4 months so you have plenty of time to figure out what you need to do. Goodnight, Levi.

-Yeah. Goodnight, Farlan.

Levi washes up and lays down on his bed. Maybe this was a start of something new...

Here is Chapter Three. Feel free to message if you want to be added to my taglist.

Tagged: @windex-princess-gia @leviswife-of6years

[purplesurveys]

1155

survey by shanynx73

Do you have a dry erase board? We probably do somewhere here at home. We don’t throw school supplies like that away just in case we’d all of a sudden need them.

What do you remember most from last summer? Thinking if I’ll ever get a graduation ceremony (which I didn’t); lots of pressure about applying for grown-up stuff like a bank account and social security; and being naive about my relationship that I had no clue was already quickly going down the drain.

Where is the last place that you shopped? If online spaces count, I was just at Lazada around an hour ago trying to see if there’d be a local shop somewhere selling Good Dye Young.

What kind of shoes did you wear today? Didn’t go out today so no shoes were worn.

Have you painted lately? No but it would be nice to, now that you’ve mentioned it.

Which season has the best clothes? We don’t get 4 seasons, soooooo can’t relate.

Do you know about the many uses of coconut oil? Not too familiar.

Do you watch Dr. Oz? Back when we still bothered to have cable I remember occasionally catching his show on TV as I’d flip the channels, but it never looked all that interesting to me.

When was the last time you got balloons? My dad’s birthday, three months ago.

What color is your favorite purse? I don’t have a favorite.

What are your plans for tomorrow? Take more surveys, try not to spend money, and maybe do a couple of daily reports I usually have to do at work so that I don’t have to skim through 4 days’ worth of data by the time I get back to work on Monday.

How was your past Christmas? It was amazing; it was the time I put my foot down and finally firmly decided to start moving on from Gab, so there was a lot of self-love and self-acceptance going on. It was a very personally enlightening time for me. It also helped that I got to spend time with my extended family (in the most socially distancingy way possible) to keep me distracted and remind me of what I do have.

Do you prefer the game Sorry or Trouble? I’ve never tried playing either and I can’t remember each of their main concepts off the top of my head.

What color are the sheets on your bed? They are blue.

Do you prefer pull-over sweatshirts or zip-ups? Zip-ups, so at least I have the option to open or close it.

Have you ever had quiche? Sure.

Have you ever had a conversation with a priest (etc.) outside of church? I might have. It wouldn’t be a kind of memory I’d save in my head, but a part of me thinks there is definitely a chance this has already happened before.

What do you order when you go to McDonald's? I feel like I’ve answered this recently lol but I usually get a Burger McDo. But now that I can afford to get pricier meals, I’m looking forward to the time I’ll finally be in the mood to get a 20-piece box of McNuggets all to myself hahaha.

What do you like to put in your coffee? I don’t really make my own coffee...I prefer mine made for me already, which is why 3-in-1 sachets work perfectly for me lmao.

What is a political issue you feel strongly about? Locally speaking? All of them. Being apolitical is just privilege at work. I do take breaks from reading the news once in a while for the sake of my mental health, but I’ve never stopped giving a shit.

How often do you have to charge your phone? The battery’s health has started to slowly dwindle down; and let’s be real, it was thanks to the time I had YouTube videos on 24/7 as a coping mechanism after my break-up. So for that reason I have to charge it 2–3 times a day; it now gets drained a little faster than it used to when it was still at 100% health, but overall I’d say it’s also still holding up well.

Do you have a song stuck in your head? Sugar on the Rim - Hayley Williams. I swear I listen to other artists too.

What makes a good movie to you? Screenplay. Lines can so very easily make or break a movie.

Do you have any yellow shirts? Yes, and other kinds of tops as well.

When was the last time you wrapped a present? 2015. That was the first and only time I attempted to, and when I saw that I proved to be terrible at it, I’ve since either 1) just bought paper bags, or 2) paid my sister to wrap the gifts I’ve bought.

Do you normally win or lose at rock, paper, scissors? I typically win, actually. No idea why.

Do you like Fruity Pebbles? No. This is honestly not a Filipino/Asian thing and I had absolutely never heard of it until The Rock started calling John Cena a big bowl of Fruity Pebbles like a decade ago on WWE TV. My tween ass felt like I had to fit in so I had my mom buy me a box of Fruity Pebbles the very next day even though it cost like a bitch, and it wasn’t even that delicious.

Do you have any stuffed animals from when you were younger? Nah, I wasn’t big into stuffed toys even as a kid.

What is the craziest thing you've heard or seen on TV lately? A guy getting arrested for picking up his own McDonald’s order outside of his own house. That is the clownery of the country I have to live in.

Have you ever hyperventilated? Yes.

What was your favorite book to read in English class? Without Seeing the Dawn.

Do you wear scarves? Nope.

Are your nails painted? They are not.

Do you like to dress up? Sure.

Are you looking forward to anything in the next week? Eh, not really. I was looking forward to this week because of the Holy Week break, so I’m actually dreading next week because there won’t be any other work break as long as this anymore until Christmas.

Do you buy lottery tickets? I’ve never done so.

What is your favorite flavor of Gatorade? I’m traumatized by Gatorade lol. My mom made me chug that shit down endlessly when I was 4 when I had multiple doubts of diarrhea or whatever it was, and I never got over it. To this day I refuse to even smell it.

Do you think most people wear masks? LOL I had already typed out a full-blown answer for this talking about Covid until I double-checked and saw that this survey was made in 2013, so it must’ve been talking about masks in the metaphorical sense...that’s my  “ohhhhh” moment of the day for sure lmao. Anyway, yeah sure.

What feature do you get complimented on most? Skin.

What are you planning to do next? Look for another survey to take, and maybe some nice instrumental music to listen to.

[forkanna]

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

NOTE: Most Japanese schools run Monday through Saturday. Also, thanks for keeping up with this story, despite my choppy update schedule!

Saturday slipped by awkwardly. That really was the best description for it, terrible as that reality was; the whole situation felt awkward.

The night before, they had parted ways at the train station. A tacit agreement had been reached that too much had happened in a single day, and they both needed time to process. They texted a few things about being glad they hung out that day, or what they were eating for dinner, but mostly they kept to themselves.

Rise had been hoping the next day would find them magically falling back together and not having to worry about how intense things had been in Shinjuku. Alas, they avoided each other. Neither seemed to want to be the one to reach out and initiate contact. Maybe they had told themselves that they were over it but clearly it was another matter to put so much raw emotion on display, then face the consequences. Plus, Ai had been very wasted and probably felt embarrassed she let it lead to so many things she definitely had not been planning for their outing. Rise could completely understand that.

But when school let out, she tried to screw her courage to the sticking-place and go find her maybe-girlfriend. Boyfriend? The whole thing still confused her, but she knew enough now to accept that said confusion did not at all mean she was disinterested. Far from it. She just had to figure out how deep her interest lay.

Ai was gone already. Probably to Shinjuku, or Okina, or Okinawa for all she knew. No new texts, either; she finally summoned her courage and sent a simple 'What are you doing?' but got no reply.

"Figures," she muttered as she stared at the screen, walking slowly toward Marukyu. "Why does she have to disappear on meeeee?"

"Who?"

"AAAH!" she gasped out, jumping into Chie's arms. The startled girl staggered and yelped as she tried to support Rise's weight, and of course, in the end they went down like a ton of bricks.

"HEY!" Hissing in pain, she shoved at Rise and said, "Get off! What are you DOING?!"

Rise hissed as well as she picked herself up. "Oww, my knee! I'm- oh God, where's my phone? What happened to my phone?!"

The two of them scrambled around on the side of the road, trying to figure out where the piece of vital technology had disappeared to. Once or twice, they even rolled down the riverside hill thanks to how slippery the light rain had made it earlier. Eventually, Chie turned up with it, and they sat panting with relief on the slope for a little while, trying to recover from the unexpected flurry of activity.

"You were… totally off in your own world, dude!" Chie panted, staring up at the clouds. "What the hell? You didn't even… hear me calling to you!"

"Ahh… hahh… I… sorry…" Chie was definitely in better shape than her. But she did finally manage to swallow and roll over to face the other girl, trying to prop her head up on her arm. "I've been… hoping Ai would text me back, and… my brain is…" She made a vague motion off into the distance.

"Yeah! Yeah, I get that one. For sure, believe me."

"Really? Because… you and Yukiko?"

"That's…" She did grimace, but finally just said, "Whatever."

"HAH! I knew it!"

"What's your problem, if you don't mind me asking? With Ai. Did you have a fight or something?"

"N-no, not really… a fight." Another deep breath to brace herself, and because she was still a little dizzy. "She told me something yesterday that… I mean, it has me really confused, and I just kinda wish somebody would tell me what to do and how to feel."

Chie snorted. "Thought Ai was really good at that. But okay, what happened?"

Rise told her, as briefly as she could. Which didn't end up being very brief. By the time she had explained the whole situation, they were stuffed into the back corner of Aiya, a couple of bowls of noodles and some sodas in front of them. The hot food would help them dry off after rolling around on a damp hill. Chie had plowed through a lot more of hers considering she was mostly listening and could let her mouth focus on that sweet sweet beef she coveted so much.

"Lembge geddiz straig."

"How about I let you swallow first?" Rise said with a wince. "I'm sorry, I just really can't understand you."

Chie nodded, chewed hard a few times, and gulped. "Ah! DAMN, do I love meat! Okay… what were we talking about?" When Rise let out an exasperated noise, she chuckled and said, "Just kidding. But yeah… I guess Ai's a guy. Weird."

"Right? Because I mean, look at her. How can she be a boy?!"

"Yeah! Like, I get what you were saying, about like… crossdressers on TV and junk. Some of them look like hell and some of them are really cute, but you can still tell. But Ai is like… he's a chick! Really, really a chick, like us! I'd never think…"

"Yeah," she agreed with a dejected sigh. "And at first I thought she was lying, Chie-chan, or trying to play a really mean joke on me, but now I don't think so. She was dead serious. And the way she talked about how hard it was for her to be herself when she was being told by everyone else she had to 'be manly'? I get that. Not that exactly but I know what it's like for everybody to be looking at you one way and wishing they could just… listen."

The tomboyish senior frowned down at her bowl as she stirred its contents with her chopsticks. "Pretty rotten. I mean, you weren't there for me having to confront my Shadow, but I used to have a lot more issues with that, too. I was jealous of Yukiko. That's stupid, she's my best friend! But she's so beautiful; I mean, you know, you've seen her. And I'm this fugly pile of dog doo."

"Aww, you are not," Rise said with a frown. "Don't say that."

"Nah, it's okay now. I mean, I know I'm not hideous but I'm not jealous because Yukiko is prettier anymore. That's just, like… I'm lucky to know her, and happy she gets attention. She deserves it." When she looked over and saw Rise's frown had completely turned upside down, she ducked her head. "Sh-shut up, I'm just happy for my friend!"

"Uh huh. But yeah… we've all been through a lot, and seen some really crazy stuff. I don't know why I freaked out so much about Ebihara now; so what if she is a boy? She's still a hotter girl than any of the rest of us will ever be, regardless."

Chie pointed her chopsticks at the idol. "Hey, watch it! You're lumping Yukiko in with the rest of us, and I know you're not trying to say she isn't the prettiest girl in Inaba!"

"Hey, hey, easy, Bruce Lee! Oh — right, did you get it?"

"Get what?"

"N-nothing." That was close; Yukiko would have had every right to be angry with her if she spilled the secret before its time.

"Riiight. Anyway, I… man, I'm really sorry for getting so cheesed off."

"You should be. I mean, you know I wasn't trying to diss anyone, I was just commenting on how pretty my girlfriend is. Boyfriend. Whatever."

"Yeah, that's gonna be a mind-fuck for a little while," Chie snickered as she took another huge bite. Where she put it all, Rise would never know. "So you didn't see it?"

"See what?" When Chie just stuck her pinky out and waggled it back and forth, eyebrows moving in much the same manner suggestively, Rise felt her face flush. "N-no, I did not."

"Awwwww, I was gonna ask about the size."

"CHIE!"

"Well, what else am I supposed to ask?!" she burst out in exasperation. "Like, clearly the rest of him looks like a chick, so that seems like the biggest difference! I just wanted to know how big that difference was!"

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she finally simply sighed, "I'll let you know. If I ever find out, I mean… since she's not talking to me today."

"Aww… yeah." Growing more serious, she stuck her chopsticks in the bowl and put an arm around Rise. "Listen… all dumb jokes aside, that sucks. But he's probably just trying to sort things out, like you are. I mean, you said he can't even figure out if he's a girl or a boy, so like, on top of having the hots for his new best friend? That's a lot."

Something about the way Chie kept saying "he" and "his" was bothering Rise. She knew it was technically accurate — again, assuming this was all true, which she had decided to believe for the time being — but it didn't sit right. Didn't Ai say she had known all along she was a woman, even when the world saw her as male? But she didn't want to get too bogged down by worrying about that niggling little detail just now.

"Okay, so I'm an idol, she's a fashionista. If she is a boy, maybe it's not as weird that we hook up — like, she could be my fashion designer when I make my comeback. Right? Or… if she's not a boy, then she can be, anyway, and… we could… date secretly."

"Secretly? I thought you said you would be Japan's first gay idol."

"I'd love to be, but I also don't know if that'll work. My management might not like that I'm throwing them a curveball. And… I guess…" Rise felt her eyes watering. That was stupid. "I don't want to stop being Risette."

Chie snorted. "Pretty sure you're going to be Risette forever, even if you don't like it. Which I thought you didn't, but like, you did say you're accepting it again."

"No, I meant that… if I really am interested in women, and I come out, I won't be 'Risette the idol'. I'll be 'Risette the gay icon', or 'that lesbian singer'. Dumb stuff like that. I've been thinking about it a lot, and that could be really cool, but it also means I have to give up having fans who just like me because I'm cute and I can sing. It'll get super political."

"Oh… yeesh, I hadn't thought about any of that junk at all. That sounds like a big pain."

Whimpering, she flopped down on her arms. "But it's important. Like, I've never thought it was right that queers in Japan don't have any representation really. Y'know?"

"But they do! Well… not a lot, I mean… Ikko, like you said, and that one drag queen, Matsuko Deluxe… and I thought I heard Utada might be? Or her teddy bear was…" When Rise just cracked an eye in her direction, she wilted. "Yeah, okay, so not that many. Seems like everybody's gay in the West, and over here it's like, five people."

"That we know about."

"Yeah. I never really thought that hard about it… but I guess… I should have."

A slight smirk tugged at the corner of Rise's mouth. "Why should you have? Hmmmm?"

"Well… you know."

"See? You can't even tell me! I'm right here telling you I made out with either a girl, or a guy who wears girl clothes better than me, and you still don't feel like you can tell me the truth! That's exactly it — we just don't wanna talk about it!"

Chie was poking the tips of her index fingers into each other as she stared down at her bowl, face glowing like a stoplight. Rise knew she was being a little mean, but she also had a decent reason to press this subject.

"Alright, forget it. I'm sorry."

"No, you're right, Rise-chan. I'm…" She took a deep breath, looked around the diner to make sure nobody was sneaking up on them. Still not that brave, it seemed. "I'm with Yukiko. We're together. And I don't just mean cool for the summer because we're trying stuff out; I mean forever. She's all mine, and she loves b-being mine, a-and… and I've never…"

Oh. Chie Satonaka, badass kung fu afficionado who helped save Inaba without anyone ever finding out what they did to protect the town… was crying. Rise sat up, brow furrowing hard as she watched this unprecedented phenomenon for a moment. Fat droplets of shame were rolling down to be absorbed by the collar of her ever-present green jacket as she gripped the skirt covering her thighs. How sad that trying to force herself to admit something like this was so difficult she couldn't do it without tears.

"Shhh," Rise soothed her as she pulled her into a warm embrace. And Chie clung as if she were a life raft. "It's okay. I'm on your side, okay? Remember? Investigation Team forever. Everything's gonna be fine."

That was all they could accomplish for a little while. Even though she was hiccuping and trying to keep her voice down, it seemed now that Chie had let down her ever-present shields it was all tumbling free in a rush. So Rise just held her, trying not to add to the mess by breaking down herself. Poor thing.

She only hoped time wouldn't make a liar out of her. Because if everything wasn't fine for Chie and Yukiko… then what chance did she and her boy-girlfriend have?

                                                   ~ o ~

Ai did eventually get back into contact with her later that evening, via text. Her first order of business was a heartfelt apology for blowing her off all day. They both did the dance of trying to reassure the other person that it was no big deal, and they both just needed some space to figure things out.

AI: But I really threw you for a loop and we both know it

RISE: Definitely

RISE: I'm sorry I just don't have a gentle way to agree you really fucked me up

AI: Wow do you have to put it like THAT?!

AI: Sounds like I was doing it on purpose!

RISE: I know you weren't!

RISE: Seriously… I'm sorry I just needed to figure things out

AI: Yeah… me too

AI: Look can I just call

RISE: Oh uhhhhh I guess?

No answering text. Just her phone ringing, and the poor idol dropping it and leaning away on her bed. Feeling silly that it had startled her so badly, she scooped up the phone and answered. "Hello?"

"Do you hate me?"

Rise's blood froze in her veins as she sat up straighter. Ai sounded bad. Not just unhappy, or like she had been crying, but she sounded as if she were completely out of energy. Swallowing hard, she whispered, "Ai-chan? Are you okay? What's…"

"No." A little sniffle. "I… I fucked up."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm… so I've had this… I…" Rise didn't interrupt; just gave her time to collect her thoughts. "I'm bulimic. I've been purging on a regular basis since before junior high, and I thought I had it under control, but… today wasn't good."

"Oh…" Wincing at the notion, she went on, "Oh, that's terrible, I'm sorry. I mean, I get why you would, you… thought you needed to."

Silence. Then in a quiet whisper, "It's been worse lately. And I'm not stupid, I know it's because of you and me; I'm… messed up about it, and instead of confronting my feelings, I binge and purge. And it's disgusting, and I'm disgusting, and I haven't been able to keep anything down since… Shinjuku."

"Oh. The beer. That got you started again, didn't it?"

"Like I ever really stopped," she snorted harshly. "But you're not wrong. I've been pretty good about just sticking to my diet the past few months, and now I'm stress-eating all the time, and then I have to purge because my system can't handle it, a-and…"

When her words devolved into unintelligible noises, Rise just soothed her, "Wait, wait, it's okay. It's okay! I mean, I might not get all the, um… boy-girl stuff, and whether or not we should be… u-uh… whatever we should be." Wow, eloquent; pull it together, Rise! "But I'm used to bulimic girls."

"What? I mean, you are?"

"Sure. There's a ton of them in the entertainment industry; we're all supposed to look like adorable little stick figures who are always happy. It's hard. I'm just lucky that I'm naturally kind of lean, but I still do have to watch what I eat. Other girls aren't so lucky — like you. Just like that. So…"

Ai sounded so desperate for affirmation when she pleaded, "So I'm not broken?"

"No way! I mean, maybe you shouldn't do it anymore, but like, it happens all the time. You're not crazy, and you're not 'broken'. I mean it."

"That's… that's the most I've believed anyone when they told me that in a long time." A long sigh. She still sounded weak but Rise was trying to suppress slamming the panic button. "Dad tells me that, too, but he isn't very convincing. I mean, he's my dad, he has to say that shit."

Giggling softly, she laid back on her bed and picked at a fray in the comforter with her painted nails. "Yeah, I get that. Well, with my grandma. My parents don't even call."

"Bitches." They both laughed. "Um… I think I'm gonna make myself go get some juice… but um… before I go…"

"Yes?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you so nice to me? I don't deserve it. No," she cut her off, and Rise almost laughed that her friend had predicted she was going to protest. "Don't argue, you know I'm a hot fucking mess. And I boss people around, and I… but you pushed until I let you befriend me. And I don't get it. I thought you were a nerd and a glutton for punishment, and you still showed me all this gross love until I caught it. Why would you? Why waste all that time on a gender-bending jerk like me when you could have picked any-"

"You're not a jerk. You're not a mess. And you are not alone."

The next word was a sob, but she was reasonably sure what she said was "Rise". So she just waited, curling up on her sheets more tightly with the phone pressed to her ear. Waiting, until finally… "Thank you."

"Hey, no big deal. Just… don't give up, okay? I'm in your corner, and I'm always going to be. You got a friend in me."

"Why does that sound so familiar?" she half-laughed.

Curling up with a warm smile on her face, Rise purred into the phone, "I have no idea, Ebi-chan. But I mean each and every word."

                                                  To Be Continued…

[binnie-binnie-bambam]

where I’ve been...?

hey. I feel like I owe y’all an explanation as to where I’ve been for the last 3 months. but imma put it the whole big detailed story under the cut just in case y’all don’t care haha and coz I don’t wanna clog up people’s feed with my incessant rambling.

TL;DR: I’ve been through 3 months of mental hell and that took a big toll on everything, including my love of a lot of things, so I’ve been struggling but I’m gonna try to be on here more and I’m sorry for being away for so long and not saying anything about it. Thank you to everyone who has tagged me in things and sent me messages during this time, I have seen it, I promise, even if I haven’t been in the right headspace to respond, you have made this time even just a bit more bearable, and for that I thank you greatly.

so yeah, things have been rough to say the least. I want to explain what’s been going on because I’ve always been pretty open on here and I know a lot of other people struggle with the same things so I don’t feel so alone. basically, I’ve fallen into another awful depression. I’ve lost my passion and drive and desire, I’ve lost the ability to find joy in things, I have no interest in hardly anything at all, I’m just not...me...right now.

I mean, my whole summer was crazy busy because I was spending almost all of my time doing wedding prep for my best friend/cousin’s wedding so I really didn’t have much time for myself and if I did, I was too exhausted to do anything I wanted to do. that’s when my partial inactivity started. I also started to see a new psychiatrist over the summer and he started me on new meds around August. since August, over a span of ~5 months, I’ve been on and off 6+ new meds, being treated for severe anxiety, panic attacks that resurfaced after being free of them for over 4 years, severe depression, ADHD, and trying different things to see if I had bipolar, as well as having a heart condition, thyroid issues, and fibromyalgia all going haywire.

I was pretty much ok through September, aside from some not so fun side effects that got me on and off 3 new meds in that month alone. like my mood and motivation and everything was fine, we had the engagement party and bachelorette party at the beginning of the month, I got to spend a bunch of time with the guy I have a (stupid) crush on, I was busy, things were going pretty great, honestly. but October rolled around. the first half wasn’t so bad, we had a girls’ trip for a weekend sort of as a last hoorah before my best friend got hitched and that was a lot of fun and I’m super thankful I was able to go, especially since I originally thought I wasn’t going to be able to make it due to family circumstances.

and wedding prep continued on, until I was driving over to my aunt’s house for the last day of prep and things started to hit me. my aunt and I got really close this past year and this was the last time I was spending with her for a long time, like sure we see each other once in a while but I was going over there and going shopping with her and doing all sorts of stuff multiple times a week and I think I just got scared of the idea that I was facing a new normal all over again when my normal had already changed so drastically at the beginning of last year. and also the fact that my best friend was getting married and moving an hour away when she used to be 10 minutes away and I saw her all the time. like we had the rehearsal dinner the Sunday before the wedding and my oldest cousin made this speech (because she knew she’d be sobbing too much to actually make it at the wedding) and she talked about us three girls as kids growing up and all this stuff about my best friend and how perfect her fiance was for her and it was just all really sobering I guess?

and I spent a lot of nights that week writing and rewriting a letter to the couple and I definitely spent most of that time sobbing over everything and sometime that week my mood just plummeted. my dad got /really/ concerned because the change in me was /so/ drastic but there wasn’t much we could do with only a few days until the wedding so we just hoped for the best and waited till my appointment with my psychiatrist to figure out the next step. I ended up getting a migraine at the wedding (I know it was from stress and from being so upset) so I couldn’t have a good time like I wanted to and I knew I’d regret it and I definitely regret it but I can’t change anything now. I got to hug the bride and groom goodbye just as they were leaving and I’ve never struggled so hard trying not to cry, which I mean, my best friend was sooo close to becoming a sobbing mess hugging me too, and the groom, well he was a blubbering mess (he’s a very emotional dude, all three of us have sobbed watching movies together, we’re a sight lmao) so I didn’t feel too strange haha. but it was a really weird feeling and it was really hard to sleep at the hotel that night. we drove home in the rain the next morning and did absolutely nothing the entire day.

then the news hit about Woojin and I spent my Monday night quite literally sobbing myself to sleep. at that time, I was still pretty new to skz but it still hurt like hell and I know my depression warped the emotions out of proportion but it was still so incredibly painful. but nothing could prepare me for the news about Wonho. nothing. I was already so deep into my depression and that just, I still don’t even have words. something hasn’t hit me that hard in I don’t even know how long. I couldn’t even cry, it took me over 2 months to cry about it because it just hurt too much. I still can’t listen to any of their music, I can’t even see photos of them without bursting into tears, and I’m ashamed at myself for being so attached to something that I react this badly, but even more so, I’m upset with myself that I can’t support them when they need it most because it causes me so much physical and emotional pain I just can’t deal with it. I’m not giving up on them, god no, I know it probably sounds like I am, but I swear I’m not. I love them way too much for that. it’s not even possible to describe how much mx and Wonho mean to me, I’m not giving up on them, I’m just handling things in my own way at my own pace, I guess.

from then on, things just spiraled out of control. on and off more meds, more and more problems arose, I really felt like I could not keep my head above water. and on top of it, I had the 7th anniversary of my grandma’s death in early November and the 10th anniversary of my grandfather’s death in early December and to say the least, that did not have the best effect on my mental health. it’s been 3 months of pretty much hell. I genuinely have /no/ interest in things I used to do, none of my hobbies, everything, and I mean everything, is a chore. it’s still like this. but I’m trying to do more to fix it. I’m seeing my doctor next week and I just spent 6 weeks getting another med out of my system so hopefully when I see him, he’ll try something new and we’ll actually make progress instead of taking 2 steps forward and 8 steps back. I haven’t lost hope yet.

there’s been many, many times in these past few months where I’ve felt like I’ve already hit rock bottom and I’m just waiting for the final blow to finish me off. but, if I’m being completely honest, what’s kept me going has been my really close friends on here that have stuck with me this whole time and my love for kpop which thankfully, god thank you, hasn’t diminished whatsoever despite everything. I can confidently say, I wouldn’t still be here without my friends, you know who you are my loves. y’all keep my world turning and no matter how painful it can get sometimes, I wouldn’t have made it this far, I wouldn’t want to keep going, I wouldn’t owe my life to you guys, so thank you, more than words can express. I love you all to the moon and back. and then some.

so this has just been paragraphs upon paragraphs of me rambling so I really don’t know why you would’ve stayed and read the whole damn thing, but if you did, thank you, I feel a lot better getting things off my chest. and this isn’t to say I’m back completely, I can’t guarantee how active I’ll actually be, but I’ll do my best to spend some more time on here because I genuinely do miss this place and all the amazing people in it. I’m so sorry I’ve been gone so long, especially without any real explanation. I’m going to do my best to rediscover my love for things, I may have lost it for a time, but it’s not gone completely.

~

until next time, this has been “aly won’t shut up”. thank you and goodnight, I love y’all

[bohrapbois]

Full Marks

CHAPTER 4

Description - Ben just so happens to fall head over heels for a Mysterious Man who loves baseball and cracking terrible jokes. Mysterious Man also turns out to be the father of one of Ben’s students.

Warnings - Full blown relationship Hardzello, with plenty of angst, fluff and future smut.

Word Count -  1,347

To say his day was grey was a bit of an exaggeration, but it was near to the truth for Ben. Seeing the Mazzello’s yesterday was all that Ben could think of, over and over again. He was happy for little Beth to have such a happy life, but it didn’t do anything for his aching heart.

It wasn’t common for Ben to fall for someone so easily, but everything about Joe was the type of guy he wanted - and he didn’t even know him! But going off of body language of those around Joe, Ben could tell he was a caring and funny guy.

That didn’t stop him from dragging his feet from the car park to the entrance of the school. Monday was hard for everyone involved, and Ben was going to blame the extra marking he had attempted in his misery yesterday if anyone asks why he seemed so drained. The brightness of the optimistic yellow walls soured Ben’s mood further, and he glared his way down the corridor and into his classroom. He cursed the smiling posters and practically threw his bag onto the floor, tugging the chair back so he could sit in it. He had a while until the students should be arriving, and whereas usually he’d be chugging down some coffees and stealing as many biscuits as he could, Ben instead crossed his arms on his desk and sulkily lay his head on them. He pouted to himself as he whallowed in more pity. Why was everyone else happy except for him? Why was everyone else granted eternal love whilst he only had the shadows? Why was-

“Good morning!” Someone was stood in the doorway, and when Ben recovered from nearly falling off his chair in shock, he saw it was Allen, who taught the first years. Not understanding how the man kept his sanity, Ben was in awe of his skills. The man seemed to really love his job, and would do as much as possible for the kids. Allen seemed to have the perfect life, and Ben only blinked up at the man. Whilst Allen was happily married, got a good house and an actual plan for his life, Ben had finished off two tubs of cheap ice cream last night.

“Hi,” Ben didn’t bother getting up - they were friends, no point in bothering with formalities - but did indicate for Allen to enter. He eyes the extra cup in Allen’s hand, and squealed when the fellow foreigner handed it to grateful hands. Allen was Irish, and had moved over to America in his mid-twenties and ended up staying. He had also been metaphorically adopted by the headmaster and had been teaching here a few years longer than Ben.

“Hard weekend?” Allen perched on the edge of the desk, just about missing the sparkly unicorn sticker Jessica Howard had stuck there for her favourite teacher. Ben grunted in answer, and took a few tentative sips of his coffee (made perfectly, Allen was a saint) before he used his words.

“You wouldn’t believe it, mate,” Ben was very aware that he was avoiding eye contact with Allen, but like hell was he going to show all his emotions this early in the morning.

“Well, I’m here if you need me,” Allen patted Ben on the shoulder, but understood that that particular conversation thread had ended there. So he changed the subject and the two made pointless chatter about the weather, Allen’s wife, their football teams back over the pond, and their plans for the upcoming teacher-parent evening.

“I’ll probably do it in my class,” Ben had long since finished his perfect coffee, but continued to play with the stained mug in his hand, “don’t see why I should go to another class and take away some space and privacy from someone else”.

Allen hummed, eyes not focusing on anything in particular as he sorted out his own plans, “yeah, I don’t really understand why Molly and Heather brought up the idea of sharing classes,” he shrugged, before checking his watch. “Right, love our chat, but gotta go”. Allen stood from Bens desk and grabbed both mugs, “don’t want the rascals to get access to an empty room”.

“Don’t know how you can handle the youngsters,” Ben sighs, stretching his back whilst also glancing at the cat face clock on his wall. Yep, five minutes until show time.

“Could say the same to you,” Allen chuckled and waved at Ben over his shoulder as he left the room.

Ben felt somewhat better, could see some colours between the shades of grey, but still very much whallowing in his own pity. Of course he fell for the hot guy with the hot partner. Rami was probably super successful as well, and could afford to take Joe around the world and give him lavish stuff. Ben could never. He could probably pay for plane tickets back home, but that’s about it.

---------------------------------------

The school day was as boring as ever. Instead of being his usual bubbly and excitable self, Ben had droned on to his students about topics none of them were interested about and had snapped unnecessarily at them if they picked on one another. A tension headache had long since settled behind Ben’s eye sockets and when the final bell rang, Ben just gestured to the class that they were dismissed before falling heavily back into his chair and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

He listened to the tiny footsteps of his students file out, and caught the tail ends of conversations, but when a small hand tapped at his elbow, Ben jumped back with a startled scream.

Below him stood a calm-as-could-be Beth Mazzello. “Hello,” she rocked up onto her toes and smiled up at her teacher.

Ben’s heart was still trying to escape his rib-cage, but he now knew he didn’t need to scream again or attack anything, “oh,” he pushed away from the corner he was trapped in, “hello Beth”.

“Hello,” she repeated, before shrugging off her bright pink, sparkly oversized backpack (all backpacks looked massive on kids her age) and it hit the floor with a heavy thud. The two remained silent as Beth unzipped and rummaged through her bag before she pulled something out triumphantly. She pushed the piece of paper into Ben’s hand and urged him to look at it.

It was pretty obvious that art wasn’t one of Beth’s strong suits. His eyes scanned over the messy pen squiggles and he was ashamed that he had to tilt his head slightly before realising what she had drawn him. A somewhat stick figure of her standing next to a somewhat stick figure of Frankie, both of them somehow smiling (could dogs smile like that?) under the pink sun as they stood on purple grass. “I LOEV FRANKY” was scribbled underneath, the letters curving to run down the page rather than across it by the end, seeming as the letters also increased in size further along the sentence.

Ben made a mental note to work on the students handwriting.

“Thank you!” Ben looked over the drawing again and smiled widely before ducking down, bending his knees so he was eye level with Beth, “Frankie loves you too”.

“When can-” Beth started asking when she’d get to see the dog again, but was cut off by a voice calling from her down the corridor. “Oh, that’s Rami! Got to go! Bye Sir!” And just like that, Beth grabbed her still open bag and sprinted down the hallway.

Although he tried, Ben couldn’t stop himself from hearing the happy and excited greeting between Beth and Rami, and by the sound of it, there was an inside joke as Beth squealed into laughter. Ben sighed, head falling forward heavy as he pushed himself back up to standing. He positioned himself away from the windows as he went around the classroom tidying up until he was sure that they had left, and only then did he grab the drawing again and give it another look.

Beth was a sweet girl.

Tag List

@benhardy-1 @hey-holtzy @watercolouredreams @ellie-hegeman @cyndagoaway @zaniath64 @kiraling88

[whenthelaughingstops]

An update of sorts

iWell, it’s been a while since I’ve taken the time to sit here and write out my feelings on this blog. 

I know many times I’ve been half way through my day and thought, man, I should take the time to write something here and I just didn’t do it. I would get home from a long day of work, put the kids to bed and be so exhausted that the idea of sitting down and writing seemed like the last thing I would want to do.

Then after a while I would think, I have so much to write about, the task of updating this blog takes so much time and effort that I just don’t know where to begin. 

That said, here it is. 

Since my last post, I’ve had a whirlwind of ups and downs. In my ups, I went back to LA and had an even more amazing comedy trip. In my downs I’ve been in the deepest parts of a functional depression.

Let’s start with the positives. Since my last post I mentioned an upcoming trip to LA with my friend Josh. This absolutely happened and it was a blast. Completely different trip from when I did it solo last time, however the highlights were getting backstage at the Jimmy Kimmel show (yeah, Josh happens to know the head writer and we got the complete VIP treatment with backstage access as well as being able to see the show). The trip was also different in that the focus this time was getting Josh acclimated to the comedy scene in LA. Hanging out at the Comedy Store of course (always a fucking blast). Recording podcasts with Josh and being there alongside his guest interviews with Brian Scolero, DJ Demers and Andy Hendrickson. All accomplished comedians and all great interviews.

Finally I did what I had set out to do the last time I was in LA which was actually get picked and perform on the Kill Tony show at the Comedy Store. To give you a background here, this show is an extremely well known live podcast show where you are given one minute to perform on the Main Stage at the Comedy Store. After which you are then interviewed, judged and most likely roasted by the panel of comedians on stage with you. The show I was on was guest panelled by the legendary Dom Irrera. 

What an experience that was, to be sitting there, that Monday night, waiting on the sidelines hoping my name gets called out, to suddenly running on stage and doing my best attempt at a 1 minute set. The key to this (and if you’re a fan of this show) has nothing to do with your set so much as it has to do with the interview after. Something extremely profound happened that night.

After my set Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban and Dom Irerra began their attempt to roast me, some idle back and forth happened and I actually clapped back a solid burn joke to Joelberg Joel Jimenez which earned the respect of the comedians and the audience. 

After a little longer the questions started to get serious (as they do) and the next thing I know, I am telling them, the audience and hundreds of thousands of listeners the story of how I’m a single father, how I’m now separated, then how I caught my ex cheating on me. It was the realest I’ve ever been on stage and it was evident that people responded and knew exactly who I was and how fucking real I was being. A little piece of me felt good that I didn’t have to hide the truth about what happened to me. Here I was being out there, telling the fucking world what happened. That it didn’t define me anymore.

I left that evening on a massive high, and come home to so many comedians (who are all fans of the show) in awe that I actually went up there and did it. That I was on the fucking Kill Tony show. 

I want to reflect a little on that moment cause you have to realize that this is the Main Stage of the Comedy Store. Richard Pryor, Dave Chappelle, Robin Williams, George Carlin, and so many fucking more people have performed and been recorded performing on this stage. It’s the holy grail. Here I am standing on it, mic in hand, making the audience laugh. 

I came back from that trip and get right back to reality. Back to the small my city’s comedy scene, no better than anyone. I had to be humble cause no one wants to be the guy who brags about something like this, but deep down I was proud.

Life then returns to normal, and you get back into the swing of things. The usual daily work life, part time single dad life, part time standup comedian. In between some of that time I started dating, seeing some women, enjoying myself and rediscovering myself.

Months passed and the inevitable date came. The one year anniversary of the day that my life changed. I got drunk that night, performed on stage and had a lovely evening with a lady friend. 

It’s been over a year separated and in that year I think I have completely redefined myself. I’ve gotten used to this life now. I’m a good fucking dad, who is organized, effectively and efficiently is involved with my kids (who are growing into being incredible beings). I am progressing slowly but surely into being a confident comedian.

My love life has been interesting to say the least, I’ve had to learn some lessons on how to date, made plenty of mistakes, made some great connections as well, for now however that is all I’d like to say about that. 

My health has been incredible, I remember starting this blog partially talking about my fitness journey and I’m proud to say I’ve really stuck to it. I’ve been consistently working out at least 3-4 times a week (if not more) for over a year now and the changes in my body have been incredible. I am gaining so much size, muscle definition and confidence. I am most definitely in the best shape I’ve ever been in my life. I am really proud how I’ve actually stuck to it, and made the lifestyle changes to which it’s no longer a chore but rather a much needed part of my life. I also have to say, I’m not the only one to notice. My hard work is observed and appreciated on various fronts.

However I have to end by saying this, there is still a looming part of all this that is still not final. My ex and I still won’t agree to how to separate. We are still at a standstill. Her self-entitlement won’t allow her to see reason right now, and she’s even going so low as to flat out lie on things like evaluating prices for items, to even trying to get me to pay her a sort of rent for not letting her live at the house (that I have pretty much been paying for since she’s left).

A lot of this right now is in the lawyers hands and I’ll let them continue to work it out. She even in this time had the nerve to try and rush this through and put the blame on me for not just accepting her ridiculous initial offer. It’s more gaslighting and more abuse to which I am proud to say I no longer have the patience for, nor does any of it affect me anymore. 

I might later make a separate post on my thoughts about her current state of affairs, however for now I can tell you all that she’s moved on to another person to abuse (while I’m sure right now it’s still probably in the infatuation and love bombing stage). I know nothing of this guy other than what my kids have told me (yeah, she’s already introduced our kids to him). Which is nice cause it takes the focus off of me, and she now has someone else to direct her energy towards. 

In the meantime, I’m still focused on myself, still fixing myself, still growing and for once, (and it’s been while), I feel happy. 

[alexben10blog]

Chapter 4

Ben felt a great relief when they said to him go towards his room, his parents are start to suspect. Although he was sure he had convinced them.

―That was a close one. ― Ben put down his bag carefully let it out Azmuth with a jump and his arms cross behind his back. ― Did you look how I destroyed that robots!? With a little help of Kevin, but still I do almost all the job. ―

Azmuth stared at him for a second before jumping and hit Ben on the forehead.

―What I saw was a kid incredibly foolish and reckless; What would happen if you touch the water and electrocute yourself? Or because of your lack of concentration one of the robots will shoot you? ― Ben made a pouted cross his arms refusing to see Azmuth. He sighed resignedly that some of his warnings enter that stone head of his. ―  That said, it was a good thought to electrocute them. Although not so good ―

Ben's expression changed from a smile to a frown in less than a second with Azmuth's words.

―You really are not satisficing with nothing, Are you? ―

― I´m satisfied in getting piece for my communicator. ― Azmuth jumped to the desk where his communicator was halfway.

―Whatever. ― Ben lay down on his bed letting out a moan of pain. Azmuth gave him a quick worried look. ― Dumb robots. ―

― You have to go to bathe and clean those wounds. ―

―Who are you? My dad? ―

― If I was your progenitor, I will not allow you the arrogant attitude. Now go to bathe. ― Azmuth pointed the bathroom to his back. Took his things, Ben get inside the bathroom with making silly face mimic Azmuth. ― And remove that expression of your face, it only makes you look like a fool. ―

Ben stuck out his tongue before to close the door, Azmuth simply ignored the childish anger. With the sound of the shower took a time to think of a memory already very far away.

―Azmuth, you've been with that transformer for 12 hours. It's time that you go to bathe and eat, so you can rest. ―

―I don´t have time for that foolishness I have to continue my project. ― The older Galvan give an exasperate look before to remove the tools of his hands. ― Father! ―

―Don´t give the tone young galvan, now go to bathe and then to eat and rest. ― Azmuth

Reluctantly follow the path who is point his father. ― And remove that expression of your face, it only makes you look like a fool. ―

Azmuth felt his cheeks fill with blood because of the shame he was feeling.

―What shameful behavior ―

.

.

.

Ben arrived at his house almost leap of the emotion, penultimate day of school, one day more. Just one day! And he will be free to go camp with his grandpa. Sure, after to help Azmuth. The communicator it was finally ready. Yesterday Azmuth had told him they send the signal today at night and maybe it will take one or two days in coming, but he can ask to grandfather delay his trip. Anyway, this is important.

He was ready to take the omnitrix and the communicator, and go to the ramshackle dump. He not was expecting his uncles and his annoying cousin Gwen waiting in the living room, the last one with a frown trying to get her noose in her book.

―Oh Ben, you're here. Leave your backpack and take a seat. ―Ben look his mother as if she had betrayed him in the worst way possible.

―Mom, what are doing my uncles and the dweeb here? ―

―Ben! That´s not way to salute. ―

― I´m sorry. Good afternoon uncles and dweeb. ― The redhead frowns her eyes with anger before to back her book.  The grown-up sighed before the behavior of both kids, it always like this way.

―Ben, why you don´t leave your bag in your room and then get down. The dinner will be ready in a moment. ―

―In fact mom, I want go outside. I have a tutor that is help me with my homework who left the teacher today. ― Sandra show herself skeptical.

―You? A tutor? What it is the twilight zone? ― Ben scowled at his cousin who only saw him with mockery.

―A tutor? The same tutor you have since Monday? ―

―Yees. ―It sounds more like a question then an answer. And all the people notice.

―Then it not will a problem take your cousin with you. ― Ben start to object. Gwen also wanted to refuse, but she was in an espionage job right now. Specifically spy on his dumb cousin and see what he had done all this week to earn so many scrapes. From afar they were seen covering both arms and some smaller ones in their face. ―If you are going out you will take your cousin with you. Isn´t a discussion, young boy. ―

―So I will not go out.  ―As Ben climbed the stairs with condolences, the rest of the family saw him curiously. This was not a family behavior in Ben.

Ben came to his room with a growl and kicked his wardrobe, causing him to get hurt.

―This infant behavior will not help us ―Azmuth it was the same irritated then Ben, this ruin all his plans. Now they have to manage a new plan.

― I´ll have to go down and try to get ridded of them ass soon is possible. ―

―Don´t forget your homework. ― As soon Azmuth realize what he said he regret, “You are not his father, not even are his family”. Ben still listened grabbing his homework before to get out his room.

Just to find his cousin in the entry of his room. Ben close hit the door behind of him put himself between Gwen and his room.

―What is going on with you doofus? It is not as if I had not entered before. ―

―I do not care. It's my room and I do not give you permission to enter. Now let's get down to end this torture as soon as possible. ―They lasted a moment in silence before Gwen came down the stairs with Ben behind her.

“Another thing out of place; A tutor, give up very quickly, and then he doesn´t let me in to his room, thing before he doesn´t care. Maybe my uncles were right to worry”. Gwen took note the papers n Bens hands.

― What you have there? ―

―My homework, the thing I said I will do with my tutor. That by the way I had to cancel. ― Gwen don´t press more him, leave Ben going on with his business before she sits down again in the coach of the living room.

Ben sits down in the ground using the table in the middle for lean on, he wants to do this quickly and without distractions. Maybe that way he can go out. Despite to have the book on top her focus it was in her cousin, every question of the homework he answers fast, and with a good look she can tell there are correct.

She always knew her cousin it was more smart then he shows. And this are a prove that she was right.

―Is a good thing you are efforts in the school, doofus. ― Ben do not show a sign listen her, but Gwen know better. ― Normally you just do enough to get a C. ―

―How you will know? ―

―Not matter what or what class is, all your ratings are C. Not one less, not one more. ― Gwen give a wise look, Ben back his focus to his homework. ― You’re enough smart to get an A+, and it about time you show it. Instead to be a big doofus. ―

“I think is this the closest a compliment she gives to me”. Ben smile to her in responds, both of them still in there thing in a quiet silence. After a time, Sandra call both kids to eat.

“Whatever is happening with this behavior of Ben, it isn´t the bad for what we thought.” Gwens think while look how Ben eat and smile for all in the room.

.

.

.

Gwen was in her father's car on her way home, she had not discovered anything wrong. Nor good, apart from Ben's new attitude about school.

―It´s look like you talk with your cousin without fighting, right? ― Gwen agree with his father. ― I know you have plans this vacations for you own, but I want give you another option. ―

―What would be? ―

―Your grandpa Max and your cousin Ben will go to camp for all the country, I want to know if you are interested in accompany them. What do you think? ―

― If there is no other option. ―

.

.

.

Azmuth was ready with his communicator and the omnitrix, keeping them in Ben's freshly emptied backpack while the latter was dressed in his normal clothes and a black hood for the cold of the night. They could not waste any more time, so tonight they would go to launch the message, hopefully it would be received and picked up the same night.

―Are you ready, Benjamin? ― The boy took the little being in his hands by putting it on his shoulder to sit down.

―I was born ready. ―

_______________________________________________________________

Hello boys, girl, and no-binaris! For the ones who want read this fic in order I left here two links; 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19835605/chapters/47181577

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13326605/1/Ben-G-10-English-Ver

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Don’t Lose Your Love (Part 4)

Summary: The reader works through a few things with Jensen...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 3,200ish

Warnings: language

“Mr. Ackles,” you said, standing when Jensen got there for pickup, scooping up both babies. “Goodnight.”

“Y/N,” he said, following after as fast as he could until Arrow started to fuss. “Y/N, stop and let me explain.”

“Goodnight, Mr. Ackles,” you said, rushing over to your car as you heard him clip the kids in, locking his car before he jogged over, standing in front of yours. “Get out of the way.”

“God, you’re the only woman I’ve ever met that doesn’t want to hear she was right!” he said, throwing his hands up. You cocked your head, Jensen crossing his arms. “I’m not moving.”

“I’ll call the cops,” you said.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he said.

“What do you want?” you asked.

“Do you want to come over for dinner?” he asked.

“No,” you said.

“Why not?” he asked.

“You’ll be there,” you said, Jensen rolling his eyes. “I’m sorry but whatever friendship we had is done. I’m not...I want to go home now and I highly suggest you get in that car and do the same.”

“Why do you hate me all of a sudden?” he asked. “Alright, I might have gone a little overboard with the kiss but I thought-“

“Do you think you’re the only one that’s ever had problems? I liked you. I liked you as a friend. Hell, even more than that. You play a great game with being super dad and all but you’re an asshole like everybody else when it comes down to it,” you said, Jensen shaking his head, stepping around the car.

“Y/N, what are you talking-“

“Stay away from me,” you growled, Jensen freezing in place. He took a deep breath, looking you up and down.

“You’re scared,” he said quietly. “Not pissed. You’re scared of me. Is it because I kissed you out of the blue? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“

“Could you just get in your car and leave me alone?” you asked.

“Sorry,” he said, turning around and sliding into his car without another word.

It was Thursday evening before you saw him again, someone else staying late now for his pickups.

But he came in earlier than usual, Becca giving you a look behind the desk when she saw the look he was giving you.

“What,” you said, squinting your eyes at him.

“I know it’s let’s make Jensen feel shitty week but I’m just here for my kids,” he said, scowling at you.

“Y/N, my office. Now,” said Becca.

An hour later you were driving home, a light on your dash going off, the one for your tires. You coasted over to the side of the road when you heard it start to squeal and groan.

“Fuck me,” you said, staring at your car, kicking at the deflating wheel. You grumbled, flinging open the trunk, ripping off the floor panel where your week old tire was and lugging it out. You cursed as you jacked up the car, popped off the old tire and stuck on the new, slamming the trunk shut.

Sitting in your car, signalling to get back on the road it hit you that you only knew how to do that for one reason. You grabbed your phone and dialed, listening to the ring about four times.

“What,” said Jensen when he finally answered. “I’m trying to enjoy dinner.”

“Thanks. For showing me how to change a tire,” you said, the other end quiet.

“That’s not why you called,” he finally said. “I already called Becca and told her it was a misunderstanding was all so if you’re worried about work-”

“I was a nanny,” you said, turning off your car. “When I was nineteen. It was that first job I had here. It was for a young single dad that was nice until he wasn’t and you scared the absolute shit out of me when you did that the other night but you’re not an asshole. I’m sorry. You’re just...shy and vulnerable and you need to learn to accept help you know. You don’t have to do it all on your own and I’m sorry for freaking you out.”

“Did you just yell at me during an apology?” he asked.

“Maybe,” you said. “The other night, I thought you were going to ask me something else and I’m just sorry for how I’ve acted, okay?”

“Come over. We should talk in person.”

“You hungry?” asked Jensen about an hour later, letting you in his apartment close to eight.

“No, I’m good,” you said, Jensen squinting at you before pulling a container out of the fridge, tossing it in the microwave.

“I say we start being honest with each other,” he said, grabbing a fork and knife, setting them at the kitchen counter and nodding to one of the stools. You slipped into it, a plate full of leftovers sat in front of you a minute later. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving,” you said.

“Then eat,” he said, leaning back against the counter as you dug in, trying to postpone this. “I don’t actually want you to be my kids nanny, Y/N. Just like I didn’t really want to invite you over to watch a basketball game or I didn’t really want to invite you to lunch as a friend.”

“What do you want?” you asked, moving your plate aside, Jensen fidgeting where he stood. “Jensen, just spit it out.”

“Can I take you out to dinner sometime?” he asked. “On a date.”

“Yes,” you said, Jensen sighing. “Why do you sound so disappointed?”

“Because...it means I moved on finally,” he said.

“Do you understand grieving? I’m not trying to be mean but the whole point of going through it is so you can move on and live your life. I’m not replacing anyone or anything. I’m just Y/N, your new friend you’re taking on a date,” you said.

“I’m not explaining this right. I-”

“How the hell did you even get up the guts to ask out your wife in the first place?” you asked, shaking your head, raising your voice a bit. “Were you this scared then? Feeling good and being happy aren’t bad things, Jensen. You think your wife would want you to be like this the rest of your life? I don’t think so.”

“Y/N, I-”

“No, stop hiding and-” you said before a little fist whacked you in the leg. “Ow.”

“JJ, you do not hit,” said Jensen, pulling her away from where she’d snuck up behind you. “Apologize.”

“Why should I? She’s mean to you like Molly was,” she said.

“JJ,” said Jensen, staring her down, getting it right back from her. “Do you want to go to timeout?”

“What’d Molly say?” you asked, Jensen waving you off. “Tell me.”

“Nothing,” said Jensen.

“She said it was Daddy’s fault Mommy-”

“JJ, go to your room,” said Jensen. “I’ll talk to you later.”

She huffed and went down the hall, Jensen sighing as he stood up.

“I’m sorry that she did that,” said Jensen. “She’s got a mean right hook for a four year old.”

“What did Molly say to you?” you asked.

“Nothing,” said Jensen.

“I thought we were being honest,” you said, Jensen rolling his eyes.

“She was a bitch to my daughter and to me,” said Jensen. “I’m not her biggest fan.”

“You reported her, right?” you asked, Jensen shrugging. “You didn’t...tomorrow morning, you’re telling Becca what happened.”

“Why? It’s in the past,” he said.

“Because harrassing a child is against the rules. If she did it to your family, she might have done it to someone else,” you said.

“I don’t want to get this woman in trouble,” said Jensen.

“Fine,” you said, sliding off the stool. “Thanks for dinner.”

“Y/N. What are you gonna do? Y/N, I don’t want any trouble, understand?”

“This is not the conversation I thought us three would be having this morning,” said Becca, crossing her arms in her office the next day.

“I received an anonymous tip,” you said, turning your head to Jensen who was groaning. “One of the members of staff who is currently not in was harassing-”

“Molly is not on maternity leave. It was an excuse to keep it quiet. She has been de-certified and it was suggested she find a new career avenue,” said Becca, leaning against her desk. “The Ackles are not the first to have had issue with her. They are the last though.”

“Awesome, can we go now?” asked Jensen, Becca waving him back in his seat. “Why do I feel like I’m in the principal’s office?”

“Which now brings up the question of issue between the two of you,” said Becca. “Y/N was not in a very talkative mood yesterday when I called her in my office. I’m hoping that you can help clear some things up, Jensen.”

“I told you, we had a fight as friends, that’s it,” said Jensen.

“I know what you said,” she said. “The thing is, I don’t like when my employees feel threatened.”

“Threatened? We had a fight-”

“Gary has been staying for your late night pickups in Y/N’s place ever since Monday night when security cameras show you preventing Y/N from leaving the premises,” said Becca. Jensen’s face fell, Becca clenching her jaw. “West Town has appreciated your business but I suggest you find a new daycare for Monday.”

“Becca, stop,” you said. “We had an argument over something personal that Jensen didn’t even know about. He tried to apologize and I didn’t want to hear it. Don’t force him to find a new daycare. You know-”

“This is a business and our employees matter to us,” she said.

“Well this is your employee saying he didn’t do anything,” you said, standing up. “Stop kicking the guy while he’s trying to get back on his feet.”

“I don’t want anymore incidents from either of you,” she said, motioning Jensen out. “Y/N, stay.”

“No, I think if you’re going to yell at her, you can do it in front of me,” said Jensen, lifting his chin.

“Alright,” she said, turning to face you. “Do you want to come to West Town permanently? The kids and staff like you and we think you’d be a good fit here.”

“Oh, you’re...you’re promoting her,” said Jensen, Becca nodding. “I’m just gonna...go pretend I don’t exist. I’ll be back for pickup.”

“You do that,” she said, closing the door behind him, rolling her eyes. “Did you really think I was gonna fire you? Girl, relax.”

“Last night you said we had to have a big meeting in the morning about Jensen,” you said.

“Yeah because I don’t want a parent, especially one built like that, to intimidate one of my girls,” she said. “Are you guys good? Honestly?”

“Yeah. I mean, I think JJ hates me now but, I’ll work on that,” you said.

“Are you guys dating?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I’m just...I don’t want to push him. Especially when he’s trying and he’s understanding and he just pisses me off cause he...what the hell is going on with me, Becca?” you asked.

“I think you got a crush.”

“JJ, can you put on your coat for me? Your dad will be here really soon,” you said that evening, JJ skipping in the lobby, ignoring you like she had all day.

“Hey,” said Jensen, coming in the door a few minutes later. “JJ put on your coat, you’re having dinner at Uncle Jared’s tonight.”

She smiled as she slung it on, Jensen grabbing her backpack and Arrow, leaving you to help with Zepp. He had Arrow tucked away and worked on Zepp when JJ started to skip down the sidewalk.

“Honey, it’s dark out you have to-”

“I don’t have to listen to you,” she said, skipping farther along.

“JJ,” said Jensen, finishing with Zepp before he jogged after her and grabbed her. He sat her down in front of you, turning her shoulders back to face you. “You owe Y/N an apology.”

“I don’t wanna,” she whined, Jensen sighing.

“You were mean to her and you hit her when Y/N was trying to help Daddy. Apologize,” said Jensen.

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

“It’s okay,” you said with a smile. “Enjoy your dinner, guys.”

“Where are you going?” asked Jensen, your head whipping around. “Don’t we have a date tonight?”

“You just said-”

“The kids are eating at Uncle Jared’s,” said Jensen. “If you still want to go out that is.”

“Do you guys want to have dinner at my place?” you asked, JJ cocking her head. “You too. If you want.”

“Can we?” she said looking up, Jensen ruffling her head.

“Yeah, I don’t think Uncle Jared will mind the night off.”

“Sorry,” you said for the hundredth time, Jensen laughing as he ate a bowl of overcooked pasta on your kitchen counter, JJ shoveling it in her mouth at the table while you kept getting up to get something you’d forgotten.

“This is yummy,” she said, trying to feed a piece to Arrow.

“We should have Y/N cook for us more often,” said Jensen, JJ nodding her head.

“Sorry I was mean before,” she said.

“I forgive you, honey,” you said.

“Are you gonna have a baby?” she asked, Jensen coughing on the counter, patting his chest.

“Uh, no,” you said.

“Oh. I thought that’s how you get a baby,” she said, turning to Jensen. “You go on a date and then you get a baby.”

“If you’re Amber Lockey’s mother it is,” you muttered, Jensen chuckling before he scooped JJ out of her seat.

“No, Y/N and I have to survive the first date before we bring up babies,” said Jensen. “You already got two little siblings. Daddy can’t handle more.”

“But I like the babies,” she said.

“Hey, do you like Disney movies?” you asked, JJ nodding her head. “How about I put one on for you?”

Fifteen minutes later their eyes were glued to the screen, your kitchen clean and Jensen snickering in your hallway.

“Why are you so giggly?” you asked, pulling him into your bedroom, Jensen letting out a big laugh finally.

“Because this is as much of a trainwreck as I thought it’d be but for completely different reasons,” he said, wearing a big smirk.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” you said.

“I appreciate what you did for JJ. Tomorrow night I’d like to take you on a more private date though if that’s alright,” he said.

“I think we can work with that.”

“What time was I supposed to pick up the kids from Jared’s again?” asked Jensen, glancing at his watch.

“Four hours ago,” you said, Jensen smirking on the park bench. “Thanks for the date.”

“Thanks for the company,” he said. “And answering my crazy call.”

“The wrong number? I didn’t do anything besides call the cops,” you said, leaning back and closing your eyes, wrapping his jacket around yourself tighter.

“Eh, it made me laugh,” he said, stretching out his long limbs, throwing his arm over your shoulders.

“So...I was thinking about something,” you said.

“Thinking is good,” he said. “What about?”

“I can’t stand the sound of my own voice,” you said.

“Everybody hates their voice,” he said.

“You said there was something about my voice,” you said, Jensen tilting his head. “At the daycare one morning.”

“You sound nice,” he said.

“Why did you come to my apartment that night of the wrong call?” you asked.

“Can we talk about that some other time?” he asked, taking a deep breath.

“Do I sound like your-”

“No. Not at all,” he said.

“Alright. Someday you’re going to tell me though, alright?” you asked, Jensen humming.

“Sure. Someday.”

Six Months Later

“How was work?” asked Jensen when you got home, trailing three kids along with you.

“A joy as always,” you said, the kids running over to jump on Jensen on the couch. “How was your day?”

“Lovely,” he mumbled, lifting Zeppelin off his face. “JJ you mind helping getting these guys changed? We have to head to the airport soon.”

JJ lugged her brother out of Jensen’s arms, waddling down the hall with him, Arrow running right behind.

“I’m going to grab a quick shower back home before we leave,” you said, leaning over the couch, getting a quick kiss from him. “You okay?”

“I liked your voice,” he said.

“What are you talking about, honey?” you asked, Jensen shrugging.

“You asked about why I liked your voice once. I liked it because I liked it. Most things were on autopilot back then and that was a wake up call,” he said.

“Okay,” you said, resting your chin on his shoulder. “You realize the answer wasn’t the important part of that question though, right?”

“The fact that I answered the question was,” he said.

“Look at you being all smart,” you said, Jensen ruffling the top of your head. “Tease me later. I gotta clean up first.”

“Hey, Y/N,” said Jensen, catching your wrist. “Do you…”

“Spit it out honey. I gotta run to my apartment and finish packing. I’ll meet you guys at the airport, give them more time to settle,” you said, Jensen biting his bottom lip.

“Do you want to move in?” he asked.

“With you? Here?” you asked, Jensen nodding. “Okay. Was that it?”

“That was it,” he said.

“Okay,” you said, giving him another fast kiss. “I will see you at the airport in an hour then.”

“See you soon,” he said, resting his head against the couch, smiling over at you.

“Wasn’t so scary was it?” you asked, Jensen nodding.

“Yes and no,” he said. “I’m pretty sure that’s life though.”

“That’s living,” you said.

“That it is, honey.”

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