#FIRST IT WAS ME LOSING RESPECT FOR VIV | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

stolasbuckzo · 1 year ago

Text

💖 Angel Dust 💖

VOs:

Michael Kovach (pilot)

Blake Roman (series)

Theme songs:

Canon:

AU:

Fave quote:

“IT’S NOT AN ACT!!! It's who I need to be. [Crosses arms to chest.] And this... [Gestures to the redlight street.] This is my escape! Where I can forget about it all! How much I hate... Everything. A place where I can get high, and not have to think about how much it hurts. And maybe... If I can ruin myself enough in the process, if I end up broken, I won't be his favorite toy anymore. And maybe he'll let me go...”

Basics:

True name: Anthony

Surname (AU): Romano-D'Amico

Birthday: 1st of April

Sex: Male

Year of Death: 1947

Cause of Death: Drug overdose (angel dust)

Sexuality: Gay

Age: 30s (biological)

Zodiac sign: Aries ♈️

Height: 8ft (including the heels he wears)

Nationality: Italian 🇮🇹

Bed type: Submissive

Species:

• Human being (formerly)

• Sinner Demon (jumping spider)

Style of speech: Slang

<> Accent(s):

<> New Yorker (standard)

<> Italian twang (when really emotional)

Occupation(s):

• Adult film star (pornography)

• Sex worker

• Drag queen

Other:

• Unnamed mafia (formerly 💀)

Likes:

• Husk (implied)

• Drugs

• Being abrasive

• Pranks

• Getting into scraps

• Cooking

• Flirting

• The colour pink

• Monetary gain

• Italian food

• Dancing (implied)

AU:

• Duets with Husk 🤭

• Pet names

<> Except for Whorebug (which is the only one he dislikes; most likely because that’s what Valentino calls him)

• Being called by his birth name

Dislikes:

• His feet

• Losing credibility

• Valentino’s abuse

• Memorising scripts

• Niffty getting into trouble

<> Niffty handling weapons

• Anyone pointing out his facade

<> Being called fake

• How expensive drugs & alcohol cost him

• Anyone else ending up like him

• Anyone discrediting his acting

• Charlie involving herself with Valentino’s affairs

• Forecast conditions

<> confirmed but not canonically shown yet ~ Viv stated that he doesn’t like weather the same way as a dog is scared of thunder

• Politics

AU:

• Being triggered when it comes to ownership of Angel & Husk’s (respective) “owners”

• Niffty being talked about (negatively)

• Kat’s life choices

<> Her occupation of being an exotic dancer (because it hits too close to home for Angel and wished she picked a more safer career)

<> Her doing drugs

<> Her rebellion

• Being called “kid” by Husk (considering technically Angel is older than him in Hell since he died first 🤣)

• People being ageist and vindictive about his relationship with Husk

Flaws:

• Agoraphobia (anxiety disorder)

<> PTSD

<> Panic disorder

<> Specific phobias

• Animotophobia (fear of emotions)

• Drug addict

• Victim of abuse (by Valentino)

<> Emotionally

<> Sexually (SA)

<> Mentally

<> Physically

• Neurotic

<> Particularly when really, really REALLY pissed off

• Alcoholic

• PTSD

<> Age regression (very common in people with PTSD)

• ADHD

• Self esteem issues (emotionally)

• Physical strength

• Low Frustrated Tolerance

• Self destructive

• Nymphomania (sex addict)

• Parasomnia

<> Night terrors

<> Insomnia

<> Sleep paralysis

<> Sexsomnia 🤣

• Borderline Personality Disorder (environmental)

Strengths:

• High alcohol tolerance

• Carnality

• Character growth (potentially)

<> To the point where Angel Dust may even drop his alias and just become “Anthony”

• Clean (drug-free)

• Physical attractiveness

Romantic interests:

Ex-boyfriend: Valentino (indirectly implied)

<> Definitely hinted at in the song “Poison” — obviously very early into the relationship before things went severely downhill

Husk (canonically implied)

AU/RP:

Stolas of the Ars Goetia (FWB / client)

Axel White (FWB / client)

Family:

Mother: Unnamed

Father: Henroin

(older) Brother: Arackniss

(fraternal) twin sister: Molly

Other (surrogate family):

(surrogate) Sister: Charlie Morningstar

(surrogate) Daughter: Niffty 😂

(surrogate) Daughter: Crymini (TBA)

Role-play (RP):

Husband: Husk 🤭

(surrogate) Sister: Snow Dust (OC)

(bio) Daughter 1#: Kat Dust (OC)

(Future) Daughter-in-law: T.J. Buckzo

(bio) Daughter 2#: Luster Dust (OC)

Aliases:

• Angie (by Cherri Bomb)

• Mi Amore (by Valentino 🤮)

<> Angel Cakes

• Whorebug (by Sir Pentious)

<> Spider

<> Striped Freak

• My Effeminate Fellow (by Alastor)

• Angel

• Slut (by Travis)

AU:

• Anthony (by Husk 🥰)

* Tony

* Ant

(Given the nickname because of how antsy Angel is and can be with his ADHD ~ also for the fact that it’s hilarious that he’s a spider only to be called another insect name)

<> Baby etc

<> Mama (affectionately)

<> Little Incubus

<> Loser (affectionately)

<> Baby doll / baby girl

• A.D. (by T.J., Snow Dust & Blitz)

• Papà (by Luster)

• Daddy (by Kat)

• Fratellino (by Arackniss)

Translation: “Little Brother”

<> Tony

• Romano-D’Amico (AU surname)

Affiliations:

• Hazbin Hotel (patron)

• Porn Studios (workplace)

• The Vee Tower (formerly residency)

<> Not confirmed but definitely implied in the music video “Poison” and “ADDICT”

Other:

• The Black Dot (1x04)

• Consent (1x06)

Friends:

• Charlie Morningstar

• Cherri Bomb (close friend)

• Niffty

• Husk (best friend — TBA)

<> Vivziepop has previously described Husk as Angel's "best friend" during later development streams for the pilot, suggesting that their relationship may be planned to greatly improve

Others:

• Fat Nuggets (pet)

Porn Studio employees (co-workers):

<> Dia

<> Summer

<> Kitty

<> Travis (client & director)

The Vees (acquainted):

<> Vox

<> Velvette

Hazbin Hotel employees (acquainted):

<> Alastor

<> Vaggie

• Sir Pentious (former enemy)

<> Egg Boiz (former enemies)

• Tiffany Titfucker (rival)

RP:

Axel (rival —> one sided)

Enemies:

• Valentino (boss, pimp, and owner)

• Sir Pentious (formerly)

• Exorcists

<> Adam

<> Lute

Abilities:

• Retractable set of arms

• Weapon proficiency

• Weather sensitivity

• Athleticism

• Cooking

• Bilingualism

<> Can speak one or two languages only; which is much different to multilingualism)

• Flexibility

Appearance & Personality:

Angel has a slender build and is the tallest of the main cast of characters. He is estimated to stand around 8 feet with his heels on.

His fur is white and he has a mop of fluffy white hair that extends from both the front and back of his head, with splotches of light-pink across it. He also has a distinctive and focal light-pink heart pattern on the back of his head. The light-pink outline of a heart also encircles his chest, the bottom point of which extends past his waistband and down to his crotch area.

His eyelids are light pink and the color extends up to his eyebrows, giving the effect of eyeshadow, and his lashes are dark and thick.

His irises are cerise pink. His right eye has a light yellow sclera, his left eye has a dark sclera. He has a wide mouth full of sharp, pointed teeth and possesses a single golden fang that sits slightly to his right of center, a feature he shares with his boss, Valentino. He has three cerise-pink dots under each of his eyes, which are intended to evoke freckles, although they are actually another set of smaller eyes.

One of Angel's most noticeable features is his prominent chest. The chest is actually composed entirely of fluffy fur, however, which Angel intentionally pushes up into a breast-like formation with his tightly pinned jacket for show.

Angel's everyday attire consists of a long light pink suit-blazer with horizontal white stripes down the length, reddish-grey miniskirt, and long reddish-grey thigh-high heeled boots, accessorized with a reddish-grey bowtie with a cerise pink center and a black choker. On his top set of arms he wears long cerise pink gloves with white detailing at the cuffs, on his bottom set of arms he wears long white gloves.

Though usually depicted with six limbs, Angel has a third retractable set of arms that he usually keeps hidden but can summon at will.

In background artwork seen in the pilot, Angel Dust's feet resemble those of a spider's.

How would you describe Angel Dust’s personality?

• Reckless

• Sexual (OTT)

• Sarcastic

• Sharp-witted

• Destructive

• Playful

• Vulgar

• Confident (excessive)

�� Flippant

• Callous

• Cynical

<> Particularly about the idea of redemption however has a small hopeful part that it’s possible for him

As Anthony:

• Defensive

• Family orientated

• Shy

<> Through copping constant abuse from Valentino which would often make him nervous in his presence

• Hopeful

• Self assertive (outside the Porn Studios contract)

• Volatile

• Comedic (genuinely)

• Inferior

<> Seen when Charlie declared Sir Pentious as “official patron” at the Hazbin Hotel

• Attentive

<> Seen when Angel Dust rejected Cherri Bomb’s offered drugs after Husk mentioned about “undoing his progress”

• Protective

• Traumatised (via “Poison” at the end)

• Broken

Trivia:

• When it comes to physical contact Angel Dust always backs away (which is common in SA victims) seen with both Husk in “Masquerade” to bring him back to the hotel and Vaggie when throwing him off the building for a trust exercise

• The more Angel Dust (Anthony) gets upset the more his (New Yorker) accent gets thicker and automatically breaks out of his persona

• If Angel Dust hadn’t died at 30 years old he would have been around the same age as Husk if not somewhere between 12 years younger

<> However Angel is actually older than Husk down in Hell because he died first (which is kinda cool)

• Angel & Charlie have a “brother/sister” relationship (both Headcanon and implied but not confirmed)

• In a earlier draft of Angel’s character it appeared that when he blushed it showed on his upper body (face and chest area)

• Blake Roman (Angel Dust’s VA in the Hazbin Hotel series) is a huge Huskerdust fan

• Angel Dust’s birthday lands on April Fools Day (which explains he loves pranks so much 🤭)

• The name Anthony may come from the word "antonia", which means "priceless/praiseworthy and or beautiful".

<> His real name officially appears in the episode "Masquerade", signed on Valentino's soul contract.

• "Angel Dust" is Angel's chosen all-encompassing persona name, and one he uses exclusively in place of his actual name. It is intended as multipurpose for both his drag queen persona and his sex-work persona.[30] It is also a possible reference to his mode of death, a drug overdose.

* Whenever Angel is outside of work and doesn't feel the need to maintain his public persona, he prefers to dress in very cozy, comfortable, unsexualized clothing.

• In an earlier development stream, when asked if Angel is venomous, Vivziepop stated she did not think Angel was venomous due to being based on the jumping spider. However, she returns to this in a later stream, stating that Angel's bite may be venomous. But, that venom in Hell can't actually kill anyone, it just causes temporary pain or disfigurement and making them fall ill.

• During the gang war with Sir Pentious, when Angel's shadow is cast behind him, it appears much larger than him, with six arms and glowing red eyes. This implies that Angel can possibly transform into a larger form like other sinner demons.

References:

https://hazbinhotel.fandom.com/wiki/Angel_Dust

#SoundCloud #Spotify #angel dust #blake roman

21 notes · View notes

dxfiedfxte · 4 months ago

Text

Unprompted Asks || Always Accepting

@bluescarfvivi heroically sent: It’s Vivi to the rescue! She’s not too surprised White Day brought out those crazy fanatics, but couldn’t they have some decency or respect by waiting until Minato finished his errands? The nerve of these girls. It isn’t the first time she swooped in to save the day and rescue her beloved blueberry boy from the clutches of such evils, and she knew it wouldn’t be the last either. It’s what she signed up for accepting this relationship, even though this little tidbit of information wasn’t entirely printed out in bold, capitalized words. More like footnotes, or a clause written between the meat of the text.

“Cooooooooming throoooooough!!!” The warning had been sent, and whomever hadn’t noticed or never bothered to check their surroundings met the untimely demise of one other blueberry coming in hot on her heels!! “Skates don’t fail me now! We got a pickup incoming!!” After plowing through the back end and the leading figures charging the herd, her sights locked in on the victim. “Min-min, take the next leap over that fence and I’ll catch you on the other side!! We’ll lose them down the back alley!”

He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep going. Minato had counted at least twenty minutes straight of non-stop running with no break or pause, just running for his life and dignity....and to keep his clothing on. Any other guy would probably fantasize about being chased by a bunch of overly adorning fan girls. Not him, these fans had no respect for his private life--they only objectified him for his good looks, he knew what they wanted, but he was not about to let himself become a boy-toy for this group of ravenous fangirls.

After sprinting for such a long time, he was running on fumes. His lungs felt like deflated balloons, his long legs were getting heavier to move due to the fatigue, things weren't looking too good--until he heard the familiar voice of Vivi, somehow she had managed to catch up to him in time, she was on the other side of the street, the one opposite side of the picket fence he could see that he was coming up to, getting closer each tired step by tired step. He didn't have a lot of energy left, so this was his only chance, he wouldn't be able to keep this up for much longer now.

[{ 🦋 }] - "O-Okay!" He quickly called out in return, his tone quiet and tired, but loud enough for Vivi to hear him.

As he got closer within reach of the fence, he gave it everything he had, using all that was left of his energy, he picked up speed, pushing himself nearly to the limit. The second he's within jumping length, he took the chance, launched himself up, hands grabbing the top of the fence, he painstakingly propels himself to climb up and over the large picket fence, with the last burst of adrenaline, he pulled himself up and over. As he fell, Viv kept her promise like he knew she would, and within seconds, he was in the arms of his beloved Vivi.

Now off of his tired feet and noodle-like long legs, his chest heaved rapidly, exhaustion clear in the shake of his body, he counted twenty minutes, but he was pretty sure he had been running a lot longer than that. He puts his arms around her as she carries him, he can't run anymore, even if he tried, he would just collapse. When his heaving finally loosens up, he finally spoke.

[{ 🦋 }] - "...Looks like you saved me again babe..." He lets out a relieved sigh, the protests of his now angry fangirls fading into the distance, he can finally feel himself start to relax. Once they are far enough away, and the girls are nowhere in sight, he's let back down onto his feet. they had recovered enough for him to stand and at least walk, but running was impossible right now.

[{ 🦋 }] - "Thanks Viv-Viv... how about we get some food, there should be a small diner nearby... I need energy.." He would kiss her right now, but he's too exhausted, oh well, he could do that once they were sitting.

#bluescarfvivi #I ᴡᴀs ʟᴏsᴛ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ I ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ - A ᴅᴇʟɪᴄᴀᴛᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's sᴘᴏᴏᴋʏ ᴀɴᴅ ʙʟᴜᴇ - (Mɪɴᴀᴛᴏ X Vɪᴠɪ | ʙʟᴜᴇsᴄᴀʀғᴠɪᴠɪ )#(Fᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ Mʏ OWN Fᴀᴛᴇ (IC)#//Annnnd Vivi saves the day again!#//That makes the second time now #//Minato you got yourself a good lady -- especially if she can carry you like a plushie lol #//He is VERY grateful

1 note · View note

jaydenknight · 5 months ago

Note

The thing that bugs me the most about this criticism is that people typically use this more as a jab at Viv for "trying to paint herself as a hero through Charlie", thus calling Viv the one with the white savior complex. Which makes it just that, a jab, not a genuine criticism.

While Charlie does have a savorism complex, it comes from a place of naive ignorance because of her privilege, she doesn't understand the actual struggles of the people in Hell or how to properly rehabilitate them aside from "just be good and you're sure to get in!" Her goal comes from misguided compassion as opposed to coming from the need to be a hero. If her character were to NEVER change from this then yes, absolutely, this show would lean much more into the themes of white savorism compared to actual progress towards a change. But we've already seen that Charlie is changing the way she thinks based on four things so far:

Vaggie's trust building exercise

Her encounter with Valentino

Heaven's trial

And her outburst towards Susan

The trust building exercise began with what Charlie's inexperienced idea of building trust is, a surface level confession of a person's vulnerability followed by them falling and being caught by a crowd REQUIRED to catch them. When it obviously doesn't work, Vaggie takes a much more hands-on approach based on HER experience in building trust by pushing Angel, Niffty, and Pentious into a situation where they need to rely on each other in order to survive a fight. The first sign that the exercise was more effective than Charlie's was when Angel made the effort to pull Pentious out of the conflict and carry him all the way up the stairs, something he absolutely did not HAVE to do but chose to do. And then later at the hotel when everyone is bonding over the experience she sees how well Vaggie's exercise worked compared to her own, admitting that her own approach was flawed and that she's learning more about how genuine connections between people are really made.

Her initial hope with Valentino was to ask politely to give Angel time off for the hotel without acknowledging Angel's obvious apprehension before and during her interaction with Val. Her naive meddling in Angel's work led to Val losing his thinly veiled charade of patience and making Angel's already shitty situation much MUCH worse, leading her to recognize she needs to set and respect boundaries as opposed to directly marching towards her desired outcome and hope for the best which can inadvertently cause more harm than good.

She demonstrates what she's learned during the trial. Instead of outright stating that the people of Hell deserve a chance at redemption and just hoping for a preemptive "yes", she takes the matter to trial and presents evidence and arguments that sinners ARE capable of change. Unfortunately she unknowingly had stepped into a situation where she was never going to be taken seriously from the beginning, Sera explicitly calls her misguided and orders Adam to make the trial go in their favor by any means necessary to maintain the status quo. The only one who took her seriously and took her side was Emily, who stood up to Sera and demanded that a change needed to be made after finding out the heinous extent that Heaven goes to to maintain order. Emily standing against Sera was the first time Charlie's own efforts had resulted in a progression of change, not only because she had presented evidence of her cause but also because she directly challenged Sera and Adam which led to the secret of the Exterminations being revealed to the court and visibly distressing some of those attending. Remember, the court did not decide against Charlie, Sera did. There was no discussion or deliberation within the court before the verdict was reached, Sera used her position of authority to declare a verdict in favor of her rules to end the trial and get Charlie out of Heaven. She even indirectly (and probably unintentionally) threatens Emily by saying she needs to do what she is told or else she could end up falling like Lucifer. I believe it's extremely likely that we'll see more angels who will speak out against the Exterminations after having witnessed what they did in the trial, especially now that Pentious is in Heaven and Adam is dead.

When Charlie goes to Cannibal Town to gain more numbers for her fight against the Exorcists, she starts how she used to: asking politely, stating her cause, and trying to sing. Her shouting "FUCK YOU, YOU OLD BITCH!" at Susan for chastising her was our first glimpse at Charlie challenging her own idealistic visions. She got sick of asking nicely, of being dismissed and ridiculed, of trying to make progress the only way she knew how and failing repeatedly. "Ready for This" was not a song made to hope for the best or to convince the cannibals to help out of the goodness of their hearts like "Happy Day in Hell" or "It Starts With Sorry", it was about her starting to understand that she needs to put her foot down and stand firm with her beliefs even if it means being met with harsh or violent opposition in order to inspire change within others. In Rosie's own words, "words are cheap, but actions speak the truth". This wasn't just about Charlie understanding why Vaggie is trying to help her reach her goal despite having once been an Exorcist herself, it was also about Charlie learning that words alone are not enough for her to reach her goals, she needs to take action.

After the fight is over and Pentious "dies" her line "I know I could have done better" during the final song comes from her now knowing what it really takes to work towards change, and that if she had known in the first place maybe none of this would have happened. Despite the destruction of the hotel, and the "death" of her friend, her actions STILL inspired change. Lucifer changed his mind about her vision, everyone came together to tell Charlie that they still believe in her and they're going to help, the hotel was rebuilt to be larger and sleeker to represent the idea of redemption now being taken seriously instead of a hopeful theory being carried out in a thrown-together, repurposed abandoned building.

Does this mean Charlie is completely over her saviorism? No, absolutely not. She's still learning, she's still improving, but she's making the effort to change. Her saviorism complex is a flaw to her character that she needs to work through, not the sole purpose of the story. The show is far from over, there are three new seasons in production, we're going to see plenty more growth than what we've gotten already.

One "criticism" that particularly bothers me is that Hazbin Hotel is a white savior fantasy. I'd very much like to hear your thoughts.

💁🏽‍♀️: We’ve actually got a bit of a nuanced answer for you 😅

🤖: This unit is programmed for maximum nuance. Nuance detected—analysis protocols engaged! We love nuance on this blog. Beep boop! 💖🤖

💁🏽‍♀️🤖: sigh Oookayyyy. Let’s break this down thoughtfully. First off—no, Charlie is not a “white savior” at this point. The white savior trope typically refers to stories where a white protagonist swoops into a marginalized community, solves their problems, and becomes a celebrated hero while sidelining that community’s agency. This often involves a dynamic where the savior is framed as inherently superior in intelligence, morality, or capability. That simply isn’t what’s happening with Charlie in Hazbin Hotel.

Charlie isn’t portrayed as swooping in from an outsider position; she’s deeply entrenched in the very system she’s trying to reform. As the princess of Hell, she holds immense privilege, but that privilege doesn’t automatically translate into success or unquestioned authority. In fact, she’s met with skepticism, ridicule, and outright hostility by both Hell’s citizens and its power structures. Moreover, the residents of Hell aren’t depicted as passive victims waiting for a hero—they’re defiant, complex individuals with their own agency and often reject Charlie’s mission outright.

But how does this trope apply to Hazbin Hotel? The parallels are loose at best—but there are still interesting elements worth unpacking.

First, Hell isn’t a traditional marginalized community; it’s literally the underworld with its own warped societal structure. That said, it does have a rigid hierarchy that mirrors class and race dynamics from our world.

Charlie’s position as Hell’s princess grants her immense privilege, making her mission to “redeem” Hell a bit fraught when viewed through a sociopolitical lens. In that light, the potential for a white savior-adjacent dynamic isn’t entirely off-base. Charlie’s belief that she alone can “fix” Hell could easily veer into condescending territory if the show doesn’t remain self-aware.

But here’s the thing—we actually like that this could be an intentional flaw of Charlie’s character. Her idealism sometimes borders on naivety, and if the narrative chooses to challenge that belief (perhaps by showing how she misunderstands the complexities of Hell’s social dynamics), it could make for a fascinating thematic exploration.

Right now, though, it’s too early to say whether this will be fully explored. Hazbin Hotel still has a lot of world-building and narrative legwork to do before fully grappling with themes like privilege and flawed heroism. But the potential is absolutely there.

For now, Charlie isn’t portrayed as superior or infallible—she’s hopeful, a bit naive, and faces constant resistance. The residents of Hell aren’t framed as helpless victims but as complex individuals with their own agency and defiant personalities. This dynamic helps the show stay clear of truly problematic “savior” territory for now.

In short, while Hazbin Hotel may not perfectly fit the “white savior” framework, it’s worth keeping an eye on how the show handles Charlie’s mission. If it leans into the tension between her privilege and the realities of Hell’s rigid hierarchy, it could become a truly compelling exploration.

#i love ur blog btw #its so refreshing to see the hellaverse being discussed with actual critical thinking #i tend to keep my thoughts to myself to avoid making a fuss because it stresses me out #shut up jayden

26 notes · View notes

gartenofbanny · 2 years ago

Text

You all know what time it is, time for the review for the most hyped up episode since The Circus!

The Good

Vortex

Vortex, as always is the best character in every episode he's in. As always he's pretty chill and nice around Loona treating her like a person and he's really nice with his girlfriend Beelzebub. There is one scene of Beelzebub talking about fucking Satan despite the fact that she views him as a brother and Vortex just doesn't say anything..and lets Beelzebub say it.

This is honestly reminding me a little bit of Rent a Girlfriend, I really fucking hope they don't make Vortex into a cuck because that'll make me lose respect from the writers and Beelzebub. Not so much Vortex because idk what the hell he's even going to do against Satan when he finds out Beelzebub sleeps with him. The most he could do is leave Beelzebub.

Gluttony Ring

The Gluttony Ring looked pretty creative, it's my 2nd favorite one behind Wrath Ring. Why is it my second favorite? Because the atmosphere and the setting a little bit looks more like Earth than it does Hell. And the location where they're at just looks like a bee-themed tropical beach instead of fucking Hell. This is probably the last thing I would think of when I think of "Gluttony Ring in Hell". It's pretty, but it isn't something I'd imagine that Hell would have. Also, why is it that some places in Hell look fucking disastrous but other places in Hell look like oasis? Is this supposed to be a place where Sinners suffer or just Earth 2.0? We don't know and Viv doesn't either.

Animation

The animation in this episode is pretty solid and looks good which is expected for a Helluva Boss episode, but there are some times when I find the animation to be really weird.

In the beginning of the episode, it shows Demons partying, but doesn't show their full appearances just silhouettes.

And in the same timeframe, Loona and Tex outside has different shading, but once they're inside the shading instantly changes and they have thick black lines around their body. Making their characters not fit with the background. And all this shit happens in the first 47 seconds of the episode, holy shit.

Viv did say that this episode was supposed to be "A grand visual spectacle" but the only grand visual spectacle was the Cotton Candy song which took a significant chunk of time from an insignificant episode.

Yeah, there's not much I actually liked in this episode, so let's move on to the bad.

The Bad

Beelzebub's Design

I don't have any problem with Beelzebub personality-wise. She's cool and surprisingly nice for one of the Seven Princes of Hell. Vortex really does have good taste in women..aside from her wanting to fuck Satan. But I can dismiss that as a joke and pray to God that it doesn't actually happen.

But what I do not like about Beelzebub is her design which I know damn well the animators didn't get paid enough for animating this.

Nothing from this design tells me that this is Beelzebub. I was completely confused on whether or not this woman was Beelzebub until I saw the credits. Beelzebub is depicted in Demonology as an insect, not a hellhound variant. A lot of people and I assumed that Beelzebub was going to be a bee due to the Bee Aesthetic in Gluttony, but we just got Jay Jay recolored and with four arms with miniscule insect aspects.

The second reason why I hate this design is because it's not creative at all. This design without a doubt was heavily inspired by Jay Jay, but it wasn't just heavily inspired it's literally copied and pasted. They copied Jay Jay, gave her Loona's legs, recolored her, added so many unnecessary details, and called her Beelzebub. Looking at Beelzebub and the other furry characters that Viv designed in her past you can see that there's little to no difference between them.

Beezlebub's design reminds me of how video game characters have alternate skins because her design is literally Jay Jay but recolored and with added cosmetics.

Or how in Injustice: Gods Among Us the yellow costume for The Flash is Reverse Flash but he still looks identical to the regular Flash. So different personality, but the same skin just recolored.

My third reason why I don't like the design is that Beelzebub's insect features are so miniscule that you can easily miss them. The only insect like features she has are the bee wings, four arms, and antennae in her eyelids and ears. Aside from those, there's nothing else. Now when she increases her size, Beelzebub does have bug like eyes but again that doesn't really say much.

My fourth and final reason why I don't like the design is that Beelzebub has so many unnecessary additions to her design that it looks pretty overwhelming but at the same time distracting. What was the point of giving her a lava lamp stomach? What was the point of having honey levitate from behind her? Why is her fucking eyeliner dripped as if she cried? I'm most likely going to do a design comparison with another iteration of Beelzebub, but yeah those are just my thoughts on her design overall. It's lazy, but also somehow overcomplicated.

It would fit more if they made her into Cerberus instead of Beelzebub as Cerberus is a three-headed hellhound in the Gluttony Ring of Hell that likes to consume a lot. This design is more fitting for that to me.

Kesha voicing Beelzebub

Kesha voicing Beelzebub was a weird and bad choice not because of Die Young, but because Beelzebub represents what Kesha was running away from in her past. For those who don't know Kesha had a persona called Ke$ha who she describes as a "front for her emotional pain". And there are a few things that conclude to me why Beelzebub and the persona Ke$ha are nearly identical. They both overindulge in partying and drinking since Beelzebub represents overindulgence in those two things and many other things, but that was a really toxic lifestyle for Kesha to go through. There are two differences between the two characters that being Beelzebub also overindulges in eating but Kesha in the past had an eating disorder. She couldn't indulge in eating because as she says "I convinced myself that being sick, being skinny, was part of my job" and having Beelzebub a character who can overindulge in eating but still manages to stay skinny and thin is insensitive and unrealistic. The second difference is Kesha had to go to rehab in order to stay away from all of that and most likely doesn't partake in those anymore while Beelzebub doesn't have to.

Simply put Beelzebub represents the persona Ke$ha and not the person, the same persona that Kesha used to mask her emotional pain and had to go to rehab to fix. I am fully aware that Kesha is an adult and she can make her own decisions, but having someone voice act a character who represents the persona they had in the past is really absurd and stupid, especially on Viv's part.

It's likely that Beelzebub will never appear again or will have a different voice actor. Because Kesha being involved caused legal issues that took almost two years to resolve. If Beelzebub does return then I think she'll be voice acted by her singing voice actor Rochelle Diamante or someone else entirely.

Cotton Candy

After listening to the Cotton Candy song multiple times, I've come to the conclusion that this song is ass. It's not even intentionally trying to be bad either that's the worse and funnier part about it. The words "Cotton Candy" takes up 1/3 of the song, there's an entire video called "Cotton Candy, but only when they say Cotton Candy" and it's 1 minute long.

My problem isn't with the singing the singer behind this is fantastic, but my main problem with this song is the lyrics and beat. This song sounds like a bootleg version of Die Young, I know that was intended by Viv but that doesn't mean the song is good. The lyrics rhyme "Cotton Candy" with "Cotton Candy" Whoever was writing this song just needs to stop.

Also, why is the song about Cotton Candy and not Honey? Beelzebub does have a bee aesthetic around her so wouldn't it make more sense to have her sing about honey. It's sweet and addictive

This video perfectly summarizes my thoughts on this song

Loona barely has a spotlight

Loona was hyped up exponentially a couple of days before this episode came out. From the voice actress stating that she'll return to voice Loona while striking a pose to a Loona plush releasing not too long ago.

While I don't believe Loona was hyped up for this episode in particular she was still hyped up regardless and this episode was assumed to be a Loona-centered episode...that is until Beelzebub. Beelzebub stole the spotlight from Loona due to her character reveal being the sparkly song it was and a lot of people liking her design due to it being flashy.

Even a couple of days after the episode's release I still see more people talking about Beelzebub than Loona, regardless of how I feel about this character Beelzebub stood out more than Loona did to me. It's amazing that Loona was sidelined in her own episode

Slight Tonal Issues

There are some tonal issues with this episode particularly in the middle and near the end. So in the middle of this episode, Loona walks out of the party wanting to leave feeling as if she didn't belong there.

When Blitzo was going to leave, she gets flirted with by some other hellhound and that's more than enough to convince her to stay. So apparently, Loona getting hit on allows her to become less insecure and more sociable. Jesus Christ

Near the end of the episode, Loona places Blitzo on his couch after pouring him some water then all of a sudden Blitzo suddenly has a sad moment saying that he'll die alone old and wrinkled.

I gotta add if you don't want to die alone then stop treating people like shit Blitzo.

But anyway, this scene really just comes out of nowhere because Blitzo didn't express any problem with what happened at Ozzie's before he went to the party. I understand he was drinking all of his pain away but it still felt weird and forced to me.

Then after Loona calls him "Dad" for the second time in this episode, Blitzo suddenly just puked for the sake of comedy...

Jesus Christ, even a filler episode has tone issues. Oh yeah, speaking of filler episode.

This episode is meaningless

This episode isn't a direct continuation of Ozzie's nor does it affect any future episodes. Viv stated that Ozzie's is the true season 1 finale and that this episode is a "grand visual spectacle"

So all of this is just meaningless and what reinforces this is Loona's behavior. Loona went from her taking care of Blitzo to even calling him dad to straight up physically and mentally abusing him just because he wanted her to be nicer to the clients. Seeing Stars takes place at least a few days after Queen Bee so there's literally no reason for Loona to even act like this.

Raises more questions than answers

This episode like all of the other ones in Helluva Boss raises more questions than answers. Hell, I'll even say that it doesn't even answer any of the questions I had. Beelzebub can literally make food from nowhere, so what's even the point of Wrath? Why is Tex and Beelzebub dating good, but Stolas and Blitzo dating isn't? How many abilities does this Beelzebub even have? Does the food she make has any side effects on those who consume it? Like there are so many fucking questions but NONE OF THIS GETS ANSWERED.

At this point, I will be really surprised whenever one of the major questions that the fandom has actually gets answered. Because I'm getting tired of this.

Conclusion

In conclusion, this episode really meant nothing and despite it not meaning anything I didn't like it. Especially Cotton Candy, that song sucks, I don't know why they didn't use Silva Hound's "Monster Ball" it sounds leagues better than "Cotton Candy" plus it's more fitting since Demons are monsters. Anyway, thank you all for reading and I hope you all have a nice day!

#helluva boss #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #vivziepop criticism #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop #helluva critical #helluva boss critique #vivienne medrano #helluva criticism #helluva critique

83 notes · View notes

teeth-cable · 2 years ago

Note

the misogyny in vivz' work bums me out and not only because of the writing. lately i've been thinking about how cool it would be if there were girl characters like alastor, fizz, striker etc. men are allowed to be fully fleshed out archetypes and designs that are drastically different from each other and i wish we had that same creativity for women. i dont really know about the writing but in regard to visuals, i wish there were more women imps that have different and cool designs like fizz and striker, i wish there were more gnc women, i wish there were more women that have good intimidating presence and screen time. i'd lose it if a character like s1 striker could be a girl and they didnt make her into an object or something to further the story along with nothing to provide of her own

I feel ya Anon! The female characters have so much writing potential that the writers wouldn't ignored at first if they were male characters. I wish we get to see female imps look more masculine, GNC, threatening or scruffy like with the male characters. But I actually wouldn't have a problem with how the female characters are treated if the writers were just open of how they prefer writing the male characters more than females.

I keep seeing critics say Viv can't write female characters and she can. Saying otherwise ignores characters like Bee, Carmen (Zoophobia), her short comics for Hazbin hotel when it was still Zoophobia and characters from her animated shorts like Timber. Writing female characters isn't different from writing male characters, the only thing that is different is the effort and motivation you put for both . Honestly I feel outsiders and critics would respect Viv and the writers more if they were just honest and admit Helluva Boss is a fun writing project for them and not a professional serious show.

#helluva boss critical #helluva critical #helluva boss criticism #꧁rambles꧂#➥asks

34 notes · View notes

the-void-writes · 3 years ago

Note

Happy WBW btw c;

can you tell me a little bit more about Veselys motivations ? he seemed like a good dude at first but now I'm like..... why are you like this , my dude 🤣

@bloodlessheirbyjacques 😅✨

@bloodlessheirbyjacques Ooh, thank you for this. Vesely’s such a complicated mess 😂

Honestly, he’s the inverse of Isaiah Shapiro. To him, Humans are the threat that need to be extinguished, but he doesn’t want that immediately. There’s a far-more pressing matter to him; the Freak-children who have no way to control their powers, so they either destroy everything or they’re killed out of fear. He knows that pain far too well.

So Gabriel Vesely is the second of four children. Their father was a known Freak, but had proven himself to the community by providing for them in times of need. If you needed something done, he would do it no problem. Vesely admired how his father had so much respect despite what he was. The thing is, neither him nor his siblings had inherited the genes that make people Freaks. Their father was one of those “we are the future of the species” nuts, which Vesely thought was going a little too far. The kids were instructed to carry on their legacy, to grow the family tree in hopes of increasing the number of Freaks.

The eldest sister, Alma, was unable to have children, so she made herself useful in businesses and stuff. The third sibling, Elijah (ayy), took the quicker route and became a donor, which had less chance of working because the kids could easily be born from a Human and not have the genes at all. The only true hopes for their father’s wishes were Vesely and the youngest sister, Ava, the clear favorite in the family.

Vesely went to college and met a lovely Freak named Vivian. She wanted a family, despite what it might mean for her children, and Vesely offered to give her that. Years later, their daughter, Paisley, starts to develop her powers, and the town hates her for it. Vesely tries to help the town and gain their respect the way his father did, but this town doesn’t care. All they see is a potential monster. Vesely tries to fight back, but they injure him badly and publicly burn Paisley right in front of him. Vivian is devastated and blames herself for bringing Paisley into the world, but Vesely tries to convince her that she was a necessity, and they can’t just give up now. Viv immediately notices how suspicious that sounds and divorces him.

Vesely is now convinced that his father was right about Freaks being superior after losing so much to the Humans. With some old college training and a lot of research, he forces his hereditary Freak genes to activate through experimentation and give him his powers, which is a horrific disease that’s like a flu to Humans and a power-fueling parasite to Freaks. He tests this out on an unsuspecting man at the supermarket, who gets sick almost immediately (and that man was Dante, days before reaching Paradise after Vani dies 😭). With the discovery that he can just create his own Freaks, he builds a company in the middle of the woods with funding from the government under the guise of it being a prison. He recruits his staff, takes in patients, and works on his secret project to turn the rest of the world into Freaks so no one suffers like Paisley did again.

This next bit is spoilers for Freaks of Preston, but I’m not sure I want to keep it anyway. You can tell me if it’s too much:

So before giving himself his powers, Vesely is beating himself up over not being able to fulfill his father’s wishes and be the son that he wanted, but his family calls him with good news; Ava has a little boy now, and they’re not sure how, but she guarantees that he’s a Freak (her story is a whole other can of worms 😂). Vesely takes this as a sign to just let the favorite child make Father proud and start living his own life. He distances himself from the family by taking a new name, Phil Masterson.

Phil is just living his new life in peace when he meets a nice young man, Jason Rhodes. They talk and eventually figure out that they’re both Freaks. Jason is adamant about hiding himself because his father thinks he’s an abomination, and Phil genuinely feels drawn to him. He convinces him that there’s nothing wrong with him, they end up falling in love, and Phil helps Jason move away from his hometown and escape the wrath of his father, who disowns him from the family.

Jason and Phil move to Preston and live happily together, making friends with their neighbor Mary. Everything is going perfect, Phil is set to marry Jason, and then he gets a call from his sister, Alma. She tells him that Ava and her family were killed, but they don’t know who did it. The Phil persona disappears completely, and Vesely returns with an even larger disdain for humanity. That’s when he forces his powers to activate, and he wants to build his facility, but Jason is weighing him down. He decides to push him away and fake his own death to ensure that Jason won’t try to follow him or stop him. It works, but Vesely has no idea how badly that messes Jason up.

As Ves Corp’s development comes to a finish, Vesely realizes how lonely he is. He was tempted to start something with Rio, but the soldier had none of that. If his plans are successful, he wants someone to share that joy with. Vivian is long gone, so he checks in on Jason, who is now happier than ever before with Will and Henry’s families. It’s like a switch of pure jealousy in Vesely’s head. He demands that Rio and Avery accompany him or else he’ll start experimenting on Jin. They head out to town, and they were going to stage an elaborate attack to fake Will’s death, but to their luck, Will was trying to run away that night until Jason found him. Without a single rational thought in his head, Vesely runs them both over and follows them to the hospital. He lucks out with Will actually dying (though Rio and Avery go behind his back to revive him), and uses that to convince Jason to work for him, hoping to reveal himself once his project is finished.

I’m so sorry this is so long, but thank you for letting me ramble about this awful man 😂

#writeblr #writing community #wip: freaks of preston #worldbuilding wednesday

5 notes · View notes

cadopan · 3 years ago

Note

we have so many stars on this team yet the minute lia doesn’t play/has a bad game, we crumble and become some team that doesn’t deserve to even play in the champs league. it’s a huge problem that a team as rich as arsenal has to depend on one player to sort our shit out. this game really shows how much we depend on lia to hold the midfield together and give viv and stina a chance at being in the final third instead of the midfield.

we kept losing possession in midfield, an area in which lia would be at to spray out passes to the wingers. i thought that leah would be able to compensate but she was having a terrible game and had to hold down the defence as rafa was not available.

we can say it’s bad luck that a good number of important starters weren’t available (beth, rafa, lia) but the fact is that we have squad depth we just keep depending on a few to create miracles week in week out and this season really goes to show that what we need isn’t more star players, but players that can work well together as a team no matter who’s on the pitch.

just look at bayern right, they were missing zadrazil in midfield, asseyi on the wing, wenninger in defence and so many more yet the players on the pitch put up this incredible fight and it was honestly just bad luck that they couldn’t make it to semis.

or even psg who has so many problems within their camp, even they played like a team

wolfsburg didn’t have the best players but they played so well, everyone knew what their job was and there was no one standout because they were playing as a unit. arsenal on the other hand have the tendency to depend on a miracle from one of our star players to create something out of nothing. (tobin with man city, tobin in the first leg, viv against spurs, stina against united)

shout out to lia tho for being the glue that holds both arsenal and the swiss national team together

Everyone who may scroll past this post cause it looks long, stop! go back to the top and read it cause it's quite honestly FACTS.

What you said about the other UWCL teams are so, so true. Especially Wob/Bayern, they're just completely different levels compared to us it's infuriating man. And they aren't even a well-oiled, fully baked team like Barca that has been developing for years, they're actually squads in the middle of rebuilds and transition.

And ofc, it's nice to see appreciation for Lia but to be blunt Lia alone wouldn't have saved that game yesterday. The team at least needed to have been 60~70% plus Lia for us to have had a shot but really it was like a 30% performance. The scoreline looks respectable but it honestly should've been 4 or 5 if Wob finished off their chances.

Beyond it being a "starting XI doesn't work if so-and-so is missing" kinda problem, I think that shouldn't be the case in the first place. We have the depth and enough quality players to be able to make things work even if 1, 2 or 3 players are replaced. If we can't even achieve that with the squad we have, we don't deserve to even be in Europe at all lol. Which is why the system or whatever the hell Jonas is doing (albeit being in his first season) isn't making me very optimistic even for the future going forward. Haven't been convinced by this man for more than 3/4 of the season now tbh.

Well anyway, I may sound agonised but actually I'm not at all 🙃 Pretty much accepted and was already kinda fine with however our season ends, just kinda bored/unamused with the way we keep falling back to zero after a few steps forward. Even if we lose another game I'd please like to see a loss where the entire team fights tooth and nail and goes down trying, cause I haven't seen a single one like this all season actually.

#answers #arsenal wfc #vfl wolfsburg frauen #uwcl 21/22 #anon takes #my takes

3 notes · View notes

milkpuddjng · 4 years ago

Text

sex education s3 thoughts!

oh my god. so many thoughts. i’ve never been too into sexed just cause. but i have SO many opinions about this season and they NEed to be heard. i think i’ll also be making a post about young royals later on so. yes.

i think i’ll just. start off by saying. what the fuck was that? the only enjoyable characters to watch this season were Adam, Ruby, Aimee and the adults. the rest of the cast (that I had originally really enjoyed watching the first two seasons) were absolutely butchered and made to serve extremely boring, there-for-the-sake-of-it ideas. like?? huh?

for one, Otis felt like. an absolute loser this season. not just because he is the archetypical “loser”, but also because he was just so. bland and had such little zest. i understand that the whole point of the season was that he had no more clinic and couldn’t help people and therefore felt like a dampened version of himself, but wtf? his excuse was terrible. that in no ways would make you as different from your original self as you are in this season! the way he went about his relationship with his mum was good though - that was quite nice to watch. but his friendship with Eric this season just felt.. forced. it didn’t feel like it really did anything with the narrative, they were kind of just there for each other as fodder. and and GOD the character just flip-flopped between being spineless and an asshole, and it really didn’t read well with me. I thought the delicate kind of balance and characterisation of Otis they had in the first two seasons really fell through and it’s honestly a shame they let him ‘develop’ into this in this season.

and don’t get me started at ALL on Eric. to me this was the worst and most cruel character DECIMATION this entire season. my reading of Eric was as someone who had only recently developed into his gayness. he had only recently reclaimed his own identity and found pride in his gayness and flamboyance. this being a way-too-overdone gay trope aside, I had originally rooted for him lots in the first two seasons because it felt like he was doing it at his own pace and slowly getting comfortable with that. in s3 though, it feels like he is condescending BECAUSE of this confidence, and frankly that really just did not sit right with me. they made Eric out to be cruel, tone-deaf and insensitive. throughout the entire s3, even in his scenes with Adam, he’s uninterested, and really doesn’t show much interest in Adam apart from wanting a relationship and all its physical and social perks. he’s so preoccupied with having a Perfect gay relationship and takes no interest in actually knowing more about Adam, and that honestly really rubbed me off the wrong way, especially with the way their relationship was portrayed as being more emotional and something vulnerable in the last seasons. Eric this season felt like he was making use of Adam the whole way, and what was originally something I was looking forward to a lot in this season ended up being the thing that disappointed me the most. and i’m not sure if it’s the writing or not, and the lack of material for them to work with, but the chemistry between them this season was so lacklustre. really really disappointing.

fk i hate tumblr. i wrote a whole thing about adam and how much i love that his line was written in a delicate and sweet way, but it got deleted. rip. anyway i liked his relationship with Rahim, Ruby and interactions with Ola far more than his relationship with Eric, and I enjoyed how he became sweeter and more delicate towards Ms Sands and his own mother! to me this season was about him unlearning and trying better to relate to the people around him, and connect with himself on a deeper level and it was really very sweet to watch as that panned out. would have loved to see more interactions of him and Ola and them confiding in each other, but I swear if he and Rahim’s friendship develops into a romantic relationship I would lose it. ok but i love stoic boy learns emotions for people around him trope and the scene of him crying on the bridge really fucked me up :”) OH and i also enjoyed how the entire Groff family had their own individual developmental arcs this season, and i really hope that means something for them as a family unit later on and their reunion as a healthier, albeit un perfect still family.

on the topic of people who deserved more! i think viv for sure. i frankly don’t understand the point of giving her a hot boyfriend and of not exploring her friendship with Jackson more. not TO mention the own blandness of Jackson’s character,,, god. they had so much to work with and truly just abandoned it all. it made sense to me that she would engage in such ‘treasonous’ behavior with Hope and all, but I didn’t understand what the sexy boyfriend and sexting did for her character. i would have much preferred deep emotional talks between Jackson and her, and of the three of them solidifying as a solid friend group. would also have appreciated her becoming better friends with Cal but. wtv. very disappointed with her character this season, especially because her and Jackson’s friendship last season was done so well.

and on Jackson and Cal, i like Cal lots. really. but i really didn’t see the narrative function of their character in the show this season. while I really respect and enjoy the show’s decision to have more diversity of representation etc., i thought Cal as a character was quite unnecessary, especially because this season proved that the writers were struggling a lot to develop everyone’s characters and their backstories etc. Cal, while fun, just distracted from existing relationships and characters the show would have benefitted from exploring more. and i just didn’t see the chemistry between them and Jackson, idk at first I felt it but after a while it didn’t seem very genuine or legit to me and it felt even a bit forced. idk if this is unpopular but i honestly really enjoyed Jackson with Maeve a lot more. this was in my opinion, quite a disappointing match-up. also i missed Jackson’s mums - thought it would have been nice to spend more time thinking about that and showing that relationship as well. also didn’t think Jackson doing drugs was like. necessary. it was nice but like. ? i didn’t see the character development with that.

Maeve and Isaac. i really started off season 3 hating Isaac’s guts, but i thought that as the season went on, I really saw the chemistry between them which I truly thoroughly enjoyed. I also don’t know. why and how Maeve is still attracted to Otis - frankly, Isaac understands her way more, and allows her that much independence that I felt was necessary for her growth. Oh but I did like Maeve’s growing into accepting help and setting down her pride - especially in her relationship with Anna. i felt Maeve was more or less stuck in the same place as last season save for her letting down of her pride though. although her and Aimee as usual! were very enjoyable to watch.

ok i think this is all i have to say for sexed for now, when and if I do find more to talk about i will uPdate this!

#sex education #sex ed 3 #sex education season 3 #maeve wiley #jackson marchetti #otis milburn #eric effiong #adam groff #netflix #sexed #sex ed #sexed 3

9 notes · View notes

chaifootsteps · 1 year ago

Note

The way Hazbin’s fan base is trying to sweep Shay’s death under the rug is absolutely repulsive. Imagine being so selfish and delusional that when hearing that you pushed someone into actually taking their own life, the first thing that comes into your head is “Oh no!! That’s awful!! How will this situation make VIVZIEPOP look?!?!” You all are vile. Someone is dead, and you instead choose to make it all about your precious little idol.

The fact that it’s not just Vivienne’s diehard bootsucking fans trying to silence people who speak up about Shay’s death, but actual members of Spindlehorse staff as well is just as horrid. This will only encourage these psychopaths to keep doing what they’re doing even more, because they know that members of the crew will vouch for them, and since they’re somewhat connected to Vivienne, their word is practically law. Absolutely sick.

And the icing on top is that we all know that there’s virtually no chance of Vivienne actually addressing any of it, at least in a respectful manner. She’d rather twiddle her thumbs and let her friends and attack dogs to the talking for her, because telling her fans to quit it with the aggression would potentially lose her her personal army, and she can’t risk losing that.

This is terrible. Absolutely terrible, and we can’t let them get away with this anymore. To anyone reading, please spread as much awareness of Shay’s death as you can. Don’t let Vivienne’s musty band of mole rats stop you. People need to finally acknowledge just how poisonous this fandom truly is. Please. For Shay.

That’s all.

Professor Anon

I'm gonna be straight with you, Professor Anon...the person who wrote that doc didn't want to name names, but I sure as hell fucking do, and there's literally only one thing holding me back from doing so.

Until that changes, spread that doc wherever you can. They can mass report it in an attempt to cover for Viv and themselves, but we can make sure it has the opposite effect.

#Anonymous #viv stuff #actual blog post #vivziepop #professor anon

82 notes · View notes

lonclyhcartsclub · 4 years ago

Text

A LETTER TO MY BROTHER: REGINA VOLK.

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of self-hate, mental health

MENTIONS: @damienramos , @acadxmiia , @garrickxwan , @leighvaughn

My dearest brother,

It’s weird - you’re literally here at Acadia and right now I’ve never felt more far away from you. I’ve been so in my own head lately, it’s like I barely know myself anymore. it’s an uncomfortable feeling and I hate it. At this point, with the reputation I carry the last thing I want is for people to see just how confused I am. The only person I’d feel even remotely willing to show my vulnerability to is you and here I am - writing a letter to you that will likely never even make it to you.

I tried making a friend, well, twice - you know how that goes. Everyone who’s come in and out of our lives tends to have it out for us. One of them seems to be going pretty okay. Leighton’s a lot like us, grew up in a very similar environment and constantly wants to be the best fighter she can be. Did you know that she’s the only person besides you who’s ever seen me cry? I know, shocking. I just hope she knows how much she means to me, even if I struggle to tell her myself. Caring for people means that our enemies will use them to hurt us. Regardless, I’m proud to fight beside her and even prouder to call her my friend.

You already know about Garrick, the guy I TA for. Well, he’s a little more than that. I look up to him a lot. He makes me feel smart, respects me and trusts that I know what I’m doing. It’s not like I’m the student and he’s the teacher, a dynamic that’s present but not overpowering. He looks to me sometimes and allows me to go on rounds with him. You know better than anyone that students usually aren’t allowed to do that, so Professor Wan’s trust is something that’s really valuable to me. One of the thing’s I’m most scared of is letting him down. Not many people’s opinions matter to me. Yours does, of course, but his is not that much further down on the list.

Is it weird that I look up to him, want him to be proud of me?

Then, there’s the failed friendship attempt. Damien. I used to call him Dames, but he’s lost the right to that nickname. I’ll address him professionally from now on. Maybe I’m not even sure why I’m mad at him anymore. If you tell him I said that we might have some issues. He threw it in my face that he slept with Viv like it was nothing. Again, this is why I stopped telling people things. It was fine when it was just me and you, training. Not with everyone else involved. I know you’d never let me down, like he did. Just like everyone else has. Caring for people can be thrown back at us just as quickly as our walls come down - the strongest weapon of them all.

How long has it been since I talked about Vivien? I know I talk about her a lot. Maybe I’m mad at Damien because the last thing I ever expected was to feel this way about her. She’s been my best friend since I became a student here. Knowing he was with her is the only reason I can possibly think of why I’m so mad at Damien, even though I never wanted to consider what it could mean. Having feelings for her. I’ve never felt that way towards anyone, you know that. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil. It makes me want to send a punching bag flying across the room.

But then again, the thought of any harm coming to her makes me want to do the exact same thing. The thought of her experiencing any sort of pain makes me want to get rid of it just as quickly as it began. When I’m around her, life is exciting and I feel like I matter. I’ve always felt the same way about being a guardian, like I have a purpose, but maybe she’s taught me that there’s more to life than that. Maybe she’s taught me that there’s hope for me after all.

It’s very likely she doesn’t feel the same, so maybe I’ll have to just put it behind me. She’s Vivien Bane, she walks around Acadia like she owns the place and grabs everyone’s attention the second she walks into a room. She could have anyone in the world. For the first time, I’m not confident that I could get what I want. Maybe, just maybe, this is a fight I’m going to lose.

Man, that was a lot. I needed to get that out.

Yeah, you’re definately not going to read this yet. Maybe when I’m ready.

Your sister, Regina.

#ABOUT.#REGINA.#ABOUT: REGINA.#TASK.#TASK: REGINA.#acadiahqtask #// THESE ARE KILLING ME HOLY SHIT

7 notes · View notes

xxisxxisxxis · 4 years ago

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Ninety-Three [PT.2]

Words: 4.2k

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, mentions of drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @edwardtriggerhandzz @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie @emariehorror @divaanya @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @abaldboi @liith-ium @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @ytwahsog @scarecrowmax @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @cruecifymesixx @meetthesixxter @arianareirg @gingerspicetalks

@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze @reigns420 @sixxseconds2love @leatherandheels @dogmom2014 @allyouneedislove-mp3 @n0-self-c0ntro1 @viinceneil

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

It's incredibly quiet and filled with tension as Amber looks at Nikki and I, curiously.

We haven't been to therapy in over a week.

Nikki hasn't come back to fucking rehab until yesterday and it took me threatening divorce again.

"Well," Amber starts, smiling at us. "How was your time together?"

"Good." We both lie simultaneously and Amber raises her brows.

"Really?"

"Yep." Nikki says, flatly.

"Like we're dating for the first time all over again." I add, unenthusiastically. "Exactly how it was when we first started dating. Just minus the sex."

Nikki huffs out a breath.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Vivian--"

"--Don't bring Jesus into this. Jesus isn't anywhere to be found in this situation."

"It was one night, Viv, cut me a goddamn break."

"I've been cutting you a break for the last six years, Nikki, I'm done cutting people breaks. You need to cut me some respect--"

"--Some respect? After the shit you pulled, are you fucking me right now?"

"No, I'm not fucking you right now, no more than you've fucked me the entire time you've been home."

"Oh, my God."

I slowly start being pulled from my sleep when I feel a tickle up the side of my foot, my ankle, up the back of my calf then my thigh, my hip, up my spine...I feel my body jolt awake only to be trapped under someone for a moment.

"Shh, shh, it's just me." Nikki assures me in a whisper, looming over me.

"Oh," I mumble, sighing when he kisses my shoulder blade.

I try to go back to sleep but my eyes force themselves open, and I look over my shoulder.

"Why the hell aren't you in rehab, Nikki?!" I ask him, sharply, confused. "How the fuck did you even get in here?! How did you even know where I live?!"

"I checked out for a few days so I could see you." He explains. "And Sharise let me borrow her key and gave me directions. I wanted to surprise you."

"You what?!"

"Wanted to surprise you?"

I sit up and he falls beside me, stretching out over the bed.

"You checked out of rehab?!"

"I missed you and Tommy and Vince missed their girls so we just decided to check out for a few days and visit and then we're going back Monday...like a four month long weekend." He explains.

"You can't do that!"

"It was highly advised against it by our counselors but let us leave." He shrugs. "And you know what? I've been back in L.A. for an hour and I don't feel the itch to go party like I used to. I think rehab's working." He tells me.

"...You checked out of rehab…to come home...and you're going back?"

"Yep."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Like you won't be tempted to do anything you're not supposed to do?"

"I won't be because I'm gonna be with you the whole time." He shrugs.

"You do realize how arrogant you sound right now, right?"

"I'm not interested in drugs or anything anymore, Viv. I've gotten past that." He states.

"Nikki," I start.

"Don't say it like that."

"How else am I suppose to say it?" I ask, raising my brows, looking at him, pointedly.

He just rubs his lips together and smirks.

"I know a few ways you can say it." He runs his hand up and down the side of my leg and I raise a brow.

"You left rehab to get your dick wet." I tell him, knocking his hand off of me, laying back down.

"No, I didn't." He denies.

"Okay, then go sleep on the couch." I suggest.

"No." He argues. "I wanna hold you."

"Oh, please, Nikki, we both know what that turns into."

"What does it turn into?" He asks, knowingly.

"You know what it's gonna turn into." I state.

"Vivian, baby," he slides his hand over my hip bone, squeezing it for a second, making my skin prickle and heat up.

"Don't, 'baby,' me." I can't bring myself to push his hand away this time, I just turn my back to him.

It's quiet for a moment and I feel him shift beside me, before his lips press to my bare shoulder, then my jaw, then my temple, and I'm rolling to my back, my lips brushing against his, my fingers going to his soft hair, a smile coming to my lips as I say, "couch," and push him away from me, turning back over to face away from him and snuggling into my covers.

He mumbles under his breath and grabs the pillow from that side of the bed, leaving me alone.

After a moment of trying to go to sleep, I can't bring myself to.

I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.

I pull my blankets off and drag a throw with me as I go to the living room.

He's taking up the entire couch, and his eyes are closed but I know he's not asleep.

I crawl on him and he groans, looking at me with furrowed brows.

"Your knee is in my thigh." He grumbles as I try to pull my blanket around myself.

I just blink down at him.

"Fine." He winces, sitting up as best as he can, helping me pull the blanket up around my shoulders before he's sliding his hands to my waist and we both lay down.

I lay my head on his chest and he rubs at my scalp with his fingers.

"I've missed you, too." I say to him quietly.

"I know." He replies. "The Sixxter tends to have that effect on chick--ow!" He hisses, tensing up.

"Oh, sorry, didn't realize your junk was there." I lie, playing off me digging my nails into his crotch was an accident.

I knew him leaving rehab, even for a few days, posed a threat to his road to recovery. My biggest fear was his dealers hearing he was back. They'd sniff him out and lure him in and I'd lose him again. I couldn't let that happen, and it terrified me to think that it could. But it also made me feel better to see him in a setting that didn't involve stail coffee, therapists, and other recovery patients near by. There wasn't any privacy in rehab--not that we really needed any.

The next morning I'm waking up to the smell of food, good food. Being that I burn most anything I try to cook now (I blame my pregnancy brain), it's nice to be able to smell breakfast without the heavy blanket of charr attached to it.

I stretch where I've been left on the couch under the fluffy blanket I brought in last night, sitting up and pulling it off of me before going to the bathroom and making myself look somewhat presentable with a toothbrush and a hair brush, hoping and praying that whatever he's cooking up doesn't make me sick.

I get in the kitchen and see him in front of the stove, and I wrap my arms around him, pressing my cheek to his shoulder blade, and I feel him rub at my arms that are tightly around him, chuckling.

"Good morning," he says, looking at me over his shoulder.

I stand on my toes and kiss his cheek.

"Good morning." I reply, pulling away, grabbing a glass and getting some water.

I take advantage of him not paying attention to examine any changes.

I noticed the other day he'd been working out. I see now exactly how much alcohol bloat he's lost, and how much muscle he's built back up.

His hair and skin even looks healthier, he's gotten his "glow" back to his once pale, sallow looking appearance.

I reign in my hormones, chugging my water and getting another glass full.

When he turns around to get the sausage out of the pan and onto a plate, I eye his crotch area, seeing that he's obviously not wearing underwear under his shorts and I'd be lying if I said I don't stare.

"I hope you still like sausage." He comments, oblivious to my eyes on his goods, not even looking in my direction, too busy with trying to get breakfast done.

"Oh, I do." I comment, taking another few gulps of water, letting my eyes trail down his thighs for a moment.

Sweet Jesus.

He is certainly fearfully and wonderfully made.

"Ahem," he clears his throat and I flick my gaze to his face.

I've been caught.

"Whatcha looking at?" He asks me and I shake my head a little.

"I like those shorts." I lie, shrugging it off.

"Mmhmm." He doesn't buy it for a second.

"I do!" I defend myself.

"I'm sure it's the shorts you like." He comments.

"Well...I like what's inside the shorts." I blatantly correct myself and he squeezes his eyes closed and laughs.

"Welcome home, Nikki." He says to himself and I finish my water as he turns the stove off. "It's ready if you wanna make a plate." He offers.

"Maybe we should give it a few minutes to cool off." I suggest, slowly getting closer to him.

"Um, I think it's okay." He brushes it off, shrugging, not paying attention.

"I think we should let it cool off." I state again, my fingers teasing at the top of his shorts, and he looks at me.

"Get away from me, you freak." He laughs out, shooing my hands off of him.

"Oh, I'm the freak?"

"You were trying to blow me before therapy the other day and now you're trying to get it in while I'm trying to eat." He points out, still laughing. "I know I'm a lot to handle but just chill out." He smiles, raising his brows.

"I don't know if you're being serious right now or not."

"I'm being serious." He points at me. "Now get a plate and let's eat." He adds.

"You don't want to mess around?"

"I didn't say that." He states.

"Okay, then food can wait, c'mon," I grab his hand and try to tug him out of the kitchen.

"Viv," he says as I plant my feet on the floor and use both hands to try to tug at him, my socks sliding against the tile but I try my hardest to get him to move.

He waits patiently before I'm falling on my ass after slipping, still holding his hand, letting out a breath.

I let his hand go and lay on the floor, groaning.

"Are you done?" He asks me, raising a brow.

"I'm horny." I say it flatly, staring at the ceiling.

"I can see that." He says, looking between my legs where I feel a wet spot in my panties.

Great.

"Nikki, you're being difficult."

"How?"

"I wanna fool around, you wanna fool around, we should just fool around. But you don't want to, even though you just said you do."

"Viv--"

"I haven't gotten thrown around and fucked into a coma in over six months." I blurt, crossing my arms, looking up at him from my place on the floor.

"...He couldn't scratch that itch after all, huh?" He asks, amused, smirking, and I cut my eyes at him.

"Because he has morals." I reply.

"Interesting." He replies.

We sit in silence for a second, and he nudges me with his foot.

"Are you gonna survive without jumping my bones?" He asks and I sigh, sitting up.

"I guess."

He helps me up and we get our food and sit on the couch while we watch cartoons and eat.

I notice him staring at me every once in awhile, but I don't pay any attention to him.

My feelings are hurt, as childish as that sounds.

It usually doesn't take much to get Nikki into bed, and he's always been up for it whenever I hinted at anything...or blatantly told him I was horny.

But now things are different.

A part of me thinks its because he sat down and really thought about the fact I cheated on him.

Maybe that makes me disgusting in his eyes.

Maybe it's because I'm pregnant--even though I'm only starting to show.

Maybe it's because I'm pregnant with the dude's baby that I cheated on him with.

I can see that ruining his libido.

I just try not to pay much attention to it, but it's nagging me slowly.

After I finish eating I'm taking my empty plate to the kitchen and heading to my bedroom.

"Where you going?" He asks me as he puts his plate in the sink, too.

"Back to bed." I tell him. "I'm really sleepy."

"Oh," He replies, not looking all that convinced.

"See you when I wake up." I add.

"Yeah, I'll see you then." He says back.

I shut the door and crawl into bed, wiping the growing tears from my eyes before they even hit my cheeks.

I wake up a little later and stretch out, hearing the shower running in my bathroom.

I just lay in bed for a few minutes until I hear it turn off and in a couple minutes, he's coming in the room with a towel wrapped around him, his hair wet.

He notices I'm awake and grins, coming over to the bed.

"Hey," he leans over me, pecking me on the lips.

"Hey." I reply, my voice still tired, his hand running over my side. "What time is it?"

"Like, one o'clock, maybe," he replies, about to move away from me.

"Wait, c'mere," I grab his hand and he furrows his brows.

"What is it?" He asks me.

I don't say anything, just looking at him, and he chuckles.

He reads my mind and leans down, lips catching mine before his tongue slips into my mouth.

I softly hum, my hand going to his hair, his hand fumbling through the covers to find my hip and dig his fingers into it.

My hands soon go to his towel, about to tug it off but he pulls away and catches his breath.

"I'm gonna go get some clothes on and head to the store to get some things for dinner tonight...you want anything?"

Yeah. Sex with my husband.

"No, thanks." I reply, calmly.

"Alright, I'll see you later." He kisses me one last time and leaves the room and I rub my hands over my face.

"There's nothing to get so pissed off about, Vivian, it's not a big deal."

"For once in his life Nikki Sixx doesn't want to hump something, even when his own wife tries to start something, so yeah, to me it is a big deal." I argue.

"No, it's not, it's not that serious."

"Do you not understand what it's like to be pregnant and hormonal and just wanting to have a good time with the person you love and they don't want anything to do with it?"

"Oh, c'mon, Vivian. Me not wanting to have sex with you doesn't have anything to do with you in particular."

"Pretty sure it does since you've had no problem screwing other women behind my back when I couldn't do a good enough job." I throw at him.

"Woah, woah, woah, that was fucking months ago, Vivian, and I was fucked up and sick." He snaps. "And it wasn't because you couldn't do a good enough job, it was because you wouldn't even try to do a job at all. You'd just lay there and be uninterested, like you were just waiting for me to get the fuck off of you. Matter of fact, I distinctly remember you actually saying, 'are you finished yet? I'm getting sleepy.' And I get that you were depressed and in a funk but shit like that happened multiple times, sometimes for weeks, over the course of our marriage. You know how that made me feel, thinking I couldn't even please my own wife?"

"Oh, God, Nikki, I can't even imagine that pain. Thinking, 'why am I not good enough? Why am I not attractive to my spouse? Why am I not still desired'," I start, sarcastically. "Oh, shit, actually, yeah. Yeah, I fucking can imagine it because I tortured myself with the same questions anytime you chose going out with your buddies over a night in with me, anytime you chose hiding in your closet with drugs over coming to bed, and not to mention the time, gee, I don't know--I found out you had a mistress, who I was friends with, that you would fuck in our house!"

"Think you got pretty even with me on that being that I found a couple used condoms that didn't belong to me, under our bed!"

"That can't possibly be my fault being that me and him never used condoms!"

"You don't fucking say!" He motions to my stomach.

"Fuck this." I state, harshly, standing up and grabbing my purse.

"Vivian," Amber starts.

"No. No. No. Fuck you, fuck him, fuck this. I'm fucking done. We tried rehab, we tried therapy, obviously it's not working or he wouldn't have come home and fallen off the wagon!"

"Ever considered maybe I fell off the wagon so early on because you kept nagging me for days on end?!" He stands up.

"You didn't want anything to do with me fucking sober, but as soon as you were under the influence of something, I'm suddenly so fucking beautiful and you're wanting to 'fuck the shit outta me'?! Do you not realize how fucked it is that you only want me when you're fucking on something?!"

The next few days consists of me being unable to keep my...urges...barely at bay, all while Nikki has no problem ignoring my hints--more so blunt statements at times--that I'm in the mood.

He just laughs it off or teases me about it or pretends he doesn't know altogether.

I just do what I've been doing: being my own lover.

But there's just some things he can do to me that I can't and it's hard to accept that reality.

I raise my brows when I peek my head into my bathroom, seeing Nikki fixing his hair, only wearing boxers.

"Where you getting dolled up to go?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"Me and Tommy are going out." He tells me and I raise my brows.

"Oh." I reply, rubbing my lips together.

I don't know how to tell him I'm having my surgery tomorrow to have my uterine abnormality taken care of...I've been meaning to tell him but just can't.

I was hoping he'd still be in rehab and wouldn't even really have to know I got it done until later.

I don't want him to worry.

"You wanna come with us?" He asks next, grinning at me in the mirror.

I don't know if that's a good idea." I mumble, that article written about that open letter from those anonymous roadies flashing through my mind.

"C'mon, baby, it'll be fun."

"I don't feel good enough to go out on the town right now." I admit. "What are you guys gonna do while you're out?"

"Probably go to the Tropicana or something." He shrugs and I raise my brows.

"...Oh."

"Like I said, Viv, you can come with us." He turns and looks down at me and I just smile as best as I can and shake my head.

"No, I'm okay." I assure him.

He looks a little disappointed but brushes it off, leaning down and kissing me, wrapping his arms around my waist, his hands smoothing over my ass, and I giggle as he pulls me up to snake my legs around him, kissing my cheek and my neck before hugging me to him, making me squeeze him to me tightly.

"I love you, Nikki." I tell him, closing my eyes. "I really do."

"I know, Viv." He says back. "I love you more."

"And like always, it's Vivian's fault Nikki's a fucking addict! It's Vivian's fault Nikki's drinking so much! It's Vivian's fault Nikki's so unbearable to be around! It's all that slut's fault because she's a fucking crazy snake-cunt, she-satan that steals, kills, and destroys, and he's left with no choice but to try to numb himself to get outta her grasp! It's all her fucking fault, even when she's pregnant!"

I storm out and slam the door behind me, stomping down the hall.

"Vivian Sixx, don't you fucking walk away from me!" He shouts after me, following me.

"Vivian Kinston! I don't wanna be a fucking Sixx anymore--I don't wanna be associated with you, you fucked up prick!" I scream back. "Matter of fact, I'm glad I didn't have any of those goddamn kids of your's or else I'd be fucking answering to you the rest of my fucking life!"

I wake up when I hear the front door open, my eyes shifting to my clock.

2:00a.m.

"Fuck," I hear him whisper to himself, dragging his feet to the kitchen…

The sink turns on, a cabinet slams open, a glass shatters on the floor.

"Fuck." He repeats, cutting the sink off.

I furrow my brows and sit up in the bed, slowly slipping off the mattress, tip-toeing out to see what he's up to.

"Nikki?"

"Do you--do you have a broom?" He asks in a slur, motioning to the broken glass on the floor.

"Yeah, I do." I tell him.

"Okay, I um, I…" he trails off, eyes on me, drifting down my bare legs, holding his gaze on my lace panties. "...I need it." He finishes, hand reaching down to readjust himself.

"Have you been drinking?" I ask him, leaning against the doorway.

"A couple shots, nothing I couldn't handle." He replies, walking closer to me. "Something else I can handle, too." He says more so to himself and I take in a breath when his hands grasp at my hips.

"You smell like tequila." I tell him.

"It was just a couple drinks." He insists, leaning down, pressing his lips to mine.

"Just a couple?" I ask when I pull away, and he nods, pulling me back to him, kissing me again, our tongues meeting.

His hands are tugging at my tank top, pulling it over my head.

"You're so beautiful." He tells me, licking up my neck and I let out a soft sigh, running my hands down his back, tears in my eyes…

I close my eyes and my mind flashes back. All those times he'd come in drunk or high or both...either telling me how wonderful I am, or wanting to fight…

"Nikki, wait," I force myself to pull away from him as he trails kisses over my breast.

"What is it?" He asks me, trying to get me close again.

"You're drunk, Nikki, alright? I don't want to do anything while you're like this." I admit and he just stares at me.

"Excuse me?"

"You're drunk. I don't want you to--"

"--You bitch at me all fucking week about your fucking sexual frustration but as soon as I wanna piece of ass you're suddenly too good for me?"

"Nikki, you're drunk." I state. "I'm not too good for you, but I'm not just gonna be the cumrag you get off on and pass out in a drunken stupor."

"You never complained about it before." He states. "All the other times you were on your knees with your mouth wide open begging me for it like a cock-starved whore." He adds.

"That was before. You aren't even supposed to be drunk, Nikki." I sneer.

"Well, I am,Vivian, you wanna fucking crucify me over it? Huh?!"

"All of your hard work the past weeks...gone." I remind him.

"Fuck off." He shoves past me. "If you're not gonna give me any pussy--"

"--Maybe I would if you were sober, asshole, ever consider that?" I snap.

"I wanna fuck the shit out of you, I've considered that." He states and I feel my face heat up.

"You're being a pig, right now." I ignore him, turning to go back to bed, pissed and tired.

"C'mon, baby," he complains from outside my locked door and I roll my eyes. "Baby, seriously, can't we talk about this?" He asks next. "Baby!" He calls.

I open the door and bitterly mock his voice, "'oh, baby, I'm so sorry, oh, baby, you're so beautiful, oh, baby, just gimme a blow job and it'll completely wipe away the fact that I'm a fucking drunk, ridiculous, asshole, oh, baby, baby, baby, baby'!" I slam the door back in his face.

"...Well, I never said I was fucking sorry!" He says next.

"Fuck off, Nikki!"

He snatches me by my wrist, and I see him raise his fist from the corner of my eye as I turn to face him, and I tense up and expect him to hit me but his fist collides with the wall by my head, my hand coming up to my mouth to keep from being too loud in my hysteria, tears rolling down my cheeks as he gives three solid punches to the painted cement bricks.

He's crying, too, and his hand loosening around my wrist, his face red, his body shaking as he lets out a pained noise and heaves out breaths, his eyes closed.

#gateway drug #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction

33 notes · View notes